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peachtree-dish · 3 years

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Chapter 5: Acqua agitata

13 ottobre 1969

There were many things that Luca loved in Signora Mia’s casa, besides the woman herself. He had been fascinated for his first few weeks in Genoa exploring all her books, odds and ends, and souvenirs. When she had first separated from Massimo, Mia had traveled all over Europe spending time in Greece, France, and Whales. From each country, she’d brought home at least one object or decoration, each one holding a special story and memory. Being an artist meant that she had many paintings, most of which were created by her hand, and every wall had been hand-painted by her design. On one wall, in particular, she had painted a colorful homage to the coast of Porto Rosso, featuring Massimo’s house and a detailed view of the town square. This was Luca’s particular favorite, and often while both Mia and Giulia were sleeping at night, he’d sit in front of that mural and read, letting the bright colors wash away his homesickness.

While she was never to be seen without a paintbrush in hand, Mia was also meticulous about keeping her furniture and floors paint-free, any splotches or spills were lovingly restricted to her paint room. Said room opened as both Luca and Giulia walked down the hallway, shredding backpacks, and school jackets as they went.

“Already home, miei cari? The day went by fast!” Mia briskly wiped her paintbrush down and stuck it in the front pocket of her jumper. “Hey, you ragazzi know better than to leave your stuff in the hallway!” She danced around the dropped articles of clothing and made her way into the kitchen space, watching in amusement as both teens sheepishly put the cookie jar back on the counter, a large Amaretti stuffed in their mouths.

“Scusa,” they both mumbled. Luca was the first to return to the disorganized hallway, pressing a crumb-filled kiss to Mia’s cheek in greeting before running to take his things to his bedroom. Nerone yapped playfully at his feet, eagerly hoping for any sweet leftovers as the teen dashed into his room and threw his coat and book bag on the chair by the window. Unlike Giulia’s room in Porto Rosso, there was no direct view of the ocean, however, on clear days he could make out the familiar blue outline above the orange rooftops of Genoa. Today the skies promised rain and Luca briefly wondered if the storm had already hit Alberto and Massimo.

As he pulled the necessary work from his bag, a blue paper slipped out and fell gracefully to the floor. Picking it up, Luca was reminded of his gym teacher’s earlier announcement. The thought made him wince as he re-read the glaring title: Maturazione e salute sessuale. Luca had hoped that he had escaped such discussion from his family during the summer; apparently, he would not be so lucky at school. Deciding to leave the permission slip for later, he grabbed his schoolwork and left the paper on his bed. Luca and Nerone made their way back into the kitchen where Giulia was already sat and speaking animatedly to her mother.

“Signora Bianchi explained energy to us today in earth sciences and said that it can’t be destroyed, only transferred,” Mia nodded as she pulled out a large circular pan before lighting the oven. If his intuition was right, and it usually was when it came to food, that meant pizza.

“And in math, we’ve been adding l’alfabeto in our equations; I wish they wouldn’t do that, it makes everything more complicated,” Giulia groused, pulling out her own math assignments.

“It’s easy if you think about it as balancing the equation,” Luca suggested, unsurprised when Giulia responded by glaring at him across the table.

“But the equation doesn’t look unbalanced to me. Besides,” she rolled her eyes, “why do we care what x is? Maybe x doesn’t want to be found.” Luca snorted and returned to his writing assignment, absentmindedly scratching Nerone’s head as he thought.

“Ah, bambini, not to worry, in three short years you won’t have to worry so much, although,” Mia mused, pressing the dough onto the counter, “if you both study some form of science, I’m afraid math is a must.” She pressed a kiss to Giulia’s forehead when she groaned, laughing with mirth.

“Also, don’t forget that tomorrow is mail day, any letters you have, need to be ready to send and on the table before you go to school, si?”

“Grazie, Signora Mia,” Luca thanked, now thoroughly distracted from his assignment, and wondering how he was going to fit this week’s events into Alberto’s letter.

“How’s your painting, mama?” Giulia asked a few moments later, obviously avoiding the equations that remained blank on her page.

“Benissimo, amore mio, I think my customer will really like it, they wanted something unique, and I doubt they’ll be disappointed!” Signora Mia flipped her wooden spoon in hand and gently nudged her daughter’s shoulder with the handle. “However, I think your professore will indeed be disappointed if you turn in a blank assignment.” Well and truly defeated, Giulia glumly returned to her homework, her expression forlorn.

After trudging through homework and eating a delicious Margherita pizza, the small family of three gathered into the sitting room and played a few rounds of Scopa, Signora Mia’s favorite.

“Aha!” the artist crowed, slapping her cards down in victory, “I win, again!” Luca groaned in defeat, placing his cards next to Giulia’s he sat back and popped his neck. Giulia had resigned herself to fate long ago and simply accepted her loss with a sigh.

“I still think you have a secret strategy that you haven’t shown me yet, mama.” She grumbled good-naturedly. Her mother shrugged smugly as she cleaned up the cards.

“Or the divine simply has favorites,” Stretching her arms, Mia stood to diffuse the fire. “You both have everything you need for tomorrow, vero?” Giulia nodded while Luca paused.

“Actually, Signora, there’s a paper I need you to sign,” He tapered off, fingers twitching nervously. The woman stared blankly at him, waiting for him to continue.

“Ah, it’s part of my health class, I’ll go fetch it for you.” Ears burning, Luca quickly returned with the offending paper and placed it face down in Mia’s waiting hand. As her eyes alighted upon the title, sudden understanding filled her expression and she smiled sympathetically at the embarrassed teen. Giulia peered over her mother’s shoulder and frowned in confusion.

“How come I didn’t get one?”

“Your puberty course happened two years ago, tesoro, this is a continuation for everyone a few years older.” Mia patted Giulia’s face, which contorted into horror at the memory, “I imagine your sex education will start next year.” She mused, her eyes crinkling with unhidden amusement.

“No, grazie, that presentation was enough to last a lifetime, I don’t need to know more.” The small redhead made a face of disgust as she fled the room. “Good luck, Lu!” She called before closing her bedroom door with finality.

Luca and Signora Mia sat for a moment staring at each other, Luca growing redder with each passing second and Mia showing no inclination of saving him from embarrassment.

“So…” perhaps if he prayed hard enough, the ground would swallow him whole. Nerone snored unhelpfully at the side of his chair.

“So, cosa?” She was merciless. Luca’s head began to inch farther between his shoulders.

“Will you sign the slip for me?” he mumbled, eyes nailed to the colorful rug below him.

Mia broke the tension with a laugh, which startled Luca enough to look at her beaming expression.

“Well, the question is if you really want me to,” she motioned to the paper, “if we’re being honest, caro, they won’t teach you much. If you’d prefer, I can answer your questions along with Giulia, or you may go to the presentation with your classmates. The choice is yours, really.” She handed the slip back to him, and he bit his lip in thought as he scanned the dreadful title over with his eyes.

“I think I want to do a bit of both, but” he pressed his teeth harder into his bottom lip nervously, “I’d rather ask questions without Giulia if that’s all right?” Mia smiled warmly at him before nodding her consent.

“Molto bene, what would like to know? I’m not sure if things will be different for you because of your biology, but perhaps some things will cross over.” She sat back in thought and waited patiently for Luca to form his thoughts into words.

“Why don’t we start with what you know, hm?” She pressed gently. Ok, that shouldn’t be too hard, right? Luca felt his stomach drop as he thought.

“W-well, I know that eggs are formed from two mates and that males and females are physically different. That’s…that’s all I know I think.” His nerves started to fade as he thought about what information he had, his logical side pushing his emotions out of the way. “Oh, and I know that girls have their cycles every month to prepare their bodies for new eggs.” He had learned that particular lesson last year when Giulia’s cycle started for the first time. Luca remembered vividly how she had been in pain for nearly a week and often had to wash her clothes and sheets when the bleeding became too heavy. Giulia had learned over the year how to manage it better and be prepared, but Luca did not envy her one bit.

“Do female sea people experience cycles?” Mia interrupted. Luca screwed his face in thought; he couldn’t remember his mother or grandmother mentioning anything.

“I’m not sure, I think there has to be something similar, but I don’t think they have blood cycles.”

Mia hummed in thought. “Is that all you know?” She continued when Luca nodded.

“Well, that’s a good place to start. Maybe let’s talk about the basics, okay?”

They spoke for longer than expected and Luca surprised himself with how many questions he had the more Signora Mia explained.

By the time the first hand on the clock reached one, Luca’s eyelids had begun to grow unbearably heavy, and the fire had become a gentle glow of embers.

“Bene, I think it’s time we both head to bed, no?” Luca nodded his head gratefully. As he bid the older woman goodnight, he stopped short at his door and turned back to Giulia’s mother with renewed trepidation.

“Signora, one more thing?” The artist paused in turn, her bleary eyes focusing on the youth.

“Is it possible for two people of the same…well, the same gender to experience that kind of relationship?” His heart pounded as he waited for her response, and he felt as if his lungs had stopped working properly. The Signora’s eyes immediately sharpened into focus, her gaze appeared to see right through him, and Luca began to fear that she could read his mind.

Then, as if satisfied with what she found, the older woman’s gaze softened, and she smiled again. “Any form of love is a gift, Luca. And while some people may not accept such relations, it is not uncommon for men to find happiness with other men, nor for women to do so with other women. And” she smiled ruefully, “some prefer to not have any relations, sexual or romantic.”

Luca eased his grip on the doorframe and offered his thanks before he hurriedly closed the door. He pressed his back against the white wood, its coolness seeping through his shirt and into his flushed skin. He couldn’t quite admit why that specific question had tumbled out of his mouth, but throughout their conversation images of Alberto and him together had entered his mind and now refused to leave.

Groaning dejectedly into his hands, the brunette threw himself onto the bed and buried himself beneath the covers, begging his mind to stop.

22 Octubre 1969

Walking the hallways alongside Giulia often helped Luca feel grounded where he would otherwise feel distant and out of place. While those of his class were aware of his true form, other grades did not, and he preferred it that way. However, whether they knew or not, Luca often felt like the proverbial ‘fish out of water’, full pun intended. It wasn’t that anyone made him feel different or were unwelcoming, quite the contrary, but Luca couldn’t help but feel isolated at times. With Giulia being a grade younger, their only time shared was before school, during lunch break, and their time at home. The one person he did consider to be a friend and true ally, was Donte Castello, who was quite happy to accompany both him and Giulia in between classes. “Vero, but what was the point of tricking their families if they weren’t going to at least communicate the plan to each other? They could have easily lived and avoided the whole fiasco.” Dante pinched two thick fingers together in exasperation, his expression one of exaggerated disappointment.

“They had to be convincing! I’m not saying it was smart, but you have to admit that teenagers aren’t the best people to trust with secrets.” Giulia rolled her eyes as if this were the most obvious fact in the world. Dante dramatically slapped his hand across his forehead, pretending to faint.

“Are you calling me untrustworthy, Marcovaldo? I feel wounded,” He draped himself pathetically across Luca who stumbled, caught off guard by the sudden weight.

“Are you listening, Paguro? Will you not defend your favorite classmate?” Giulia snorted while Luca chuckled. He patted Dante’s back consolingly.

“I’m sure, you’ll make a quick recovery, Castello.” The taller boy pouted before returning to his upright position.

“Bene, now I know to not come to you when I need anything,” Dante grumbled. His pouting was cut short when a mass of black curls and dark skin ran right into his side. Being nearly the height of Massimo and on his way to being of the same build, Dante hardly budged from his spot. The torpedo that was unsuccessful in sinking his ship, however, had landed on the floor in a dazed heap.

Luca had never seen such curly hair in his life, which was saying something when one considered he knew both Alberto and Giulia. The girl blinked owlishly at the trio before her, her face panicked. She couldn’t have been much older than Giulia, with skin the color of rich coffee and eyes that shined like honey.

“Mi dispiace,” she squeaked, jumping to her feet, and flattening her clothes before ducking into a doorway next to them.

From down the hallway, students were ducking out of the way as a group of students made their way angrily through the corridors. Choruses of laughter followed them, and it soon became clear as to why. Two girls were drenched with water, their makeup creating colorful rivers down their cheeks and splotches on their shirts. The three boys next to them looked as if they had lost a fight with the school trash cans, their scowls just as terrifying as the smell. Luca and Giulia instantly stepped in front of the doorway, further shielding the mystery girl from sight. Once they passed, Dante turned around to face the quivering youth, his arms crossed.

“I don’t suppose that mess had anything to do with you, eh ragazza?” The girl winced when three pairs of eyes focused on her, and she shrank even more.

“They were trying to hurt me,” she mumbled.

“What would a bunch of upperclassmen want with you?” Dante narrowed his eyes disbelievingly. The young girl jutted her chin out defiantly and glared back. “Let’s just say I’m different and they didn’t like that. Are you going to be just like them?”

Luca raised his hands and placed himself between them, not wanting to start any more drama before lunch. “E abbastanza, ragazzi. No, we’re not like them,” he stared pointedly at Dante, who eventually relaxed and shrugged his shoulders in surrender. “I’m Luca Paguro, these are my friends, Giulia Marcovaldo and Dante Castello.” The teen offered his hand, and the girl reluctantly shook it, her expression of distrust clear.

“Luisa Corallina, piacere.”

“You’re new aren’t you? I thought I saw you in the first period.” Giulia asked, her head tilted in contemplation. Luisa nodded reluctantly, her gaze uneasy.

“I… my family just moved here from Sicily this week.”

“Woah, that’s a long way, it must’ve taken you forever to drive that far.”

Luisa merely lifted her shoulder in response, her anxiety only increasing. Luca nudged her empathetically, he knew what it was like to prefer privacy.

“Well, you’re welcome to hang with us-”

“There you are you little puttana!” A furious voice interrupted the group, and Luisa turned pale when she heard the screech.

The group of soaked and smelly teens had returned, their expressions were mutinous. The girl with shoulder-length blonde hair whipped her hand out, pushing Luca aside in the process, and snatched Luisa by the arm. Her soaked touch instantly turned Luca’s arm blue with scales, much to his chagrin.

“I’m going to make you pay for your little magic show stunt, witch.” Luisa bared her teeth, which suddenly appeared to be sharper. Before Luca could step in, Dante was already using his large stature to separate the two girls from one another.

“Calmati, Aurora. I’d hate to see this get ugly.” Dante stared down the furious teen, who scowled in return.

“Stay out of this, Castello,” One of the older boys spoke. He isn’t quite as big as Dante, but he stood at least a foot taller. “This little urchin needs to be taught a lesson.” He leaned over imposingly. Dante rolled his eyes and merely scoffed.

“If a puny freshman can cause that much damage to a bunch of upperclassmen, I think it’s you five who need a lesson. Get on your way before I tell my mother about this, I’m sure she’d be happy to discuss this and your future program applications in her office.” He raised an eyebrow at the unsettled group, his stance unmoving. They were saved by a response when the bell rang, signaling the start of classes. Auror stomped her foot angrily before pointing a finger at Dante.

“You keep that witch away from us. If I catch her alone, it’s over.” She sliced a finger across her neck menacingly before being pulled away by her shorter friend. When they finally disappeared for good, the group heaved a collective sigh of relief.

“I wonder if she’s related to Ercole. I had no idea there’d be two empires of evil to destroy.” Giulia mused.

“What is it with girls being so dramatic,” Dante asked, looking rather bewildered. Giulia slapped his arm indignantly with a shout of “hey!”.

“That just proves my point!”

Ignoring the bickering behind him, Luca turned back to Luisa, intent on checking she was okay, only to find her staring blankly at his arm. To his horror, his arm was still damp, and his scales glistened under the damp white fabric of his arm.

“I-it’s just a birthmark!” He squeaked, instantly wishing he could slap himself. What kind of sane person would believe that?! “You’re just like me,” Luisa whispered, her golden eyes turned hopeful.

“What?” Luisa pushed her own arm towards him, pink scales formed perfectly beneath a handprint.

“Mostro marino,” Luisa breathed.

“Ah, merda, here we go again.” Dante groaned.

#a te che sei il mio grande amore #my fic #luberto #luca and alberto #luca x alberto #alberto x luca #alberto scorfano #luca paguro #luca fanfiction #ocs #coming of age #mutual pining #idiots in love #queer romance #queer fanfiction #queer writers

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lindsayrises · 2 years

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Feeling better tonight

It was a long day. I got to work at 4:45 a.m. I got home at 9:00 p.m.

I cried again this morning....cause, that’s my thing I guess? :)

Between crying sessions I moved a meeting from Friday to next Monday. I would have spent time tomorrow prepping for this meeting. I immediately felt relieved.

I was prepared for conferences.

12 appointment times. Originally 9 appointments. Before tonight I knew 3 of those 9 had to reschedule. Of the 6 remaining, I conferenced with 3 families.

I typically would be disappointed with such a low turnout. But you know what? I think God knew that I needed a slower night. So really, it worked out. (I will, of course, attempt to reschedule those that were unable to participate tonight).

It’s a little after 10. I told my sub I was going to try to have my plans to her by tonight. I emailed her a little bit ago and said, “They’ll be ready tomorrow morning.” She’s amazing and wonderful and at our school a lot and I totally trust her. So I’m going to try REALLY hard to leave less detailed plans than I normally would.

Speaking of plans: I went into my Google Docs to make a copy of last year’s sub plans to edit.

Um, there are no sub plans. I didn’t take one day off last year.

This is my 13th year of teaching.

I have taken days off for doctor’s appointments, being out of town/travel, and for being too physically sick to work.

I have NEVER taken a mental health/personal day.

Never. Ever. In 13+ years.

I really would like to make this a monthly thing.

Earlier I was trying to think about what I wanted to do tomorrow. My first thought was, “Oh! You should deliver flowers to your friends at their jobs!”

I’ve done this a couple time before.

Yes, it’s nice and fun and it feels good.

But it also takes a lot of time....driving across town to buy the flowers (I will only buy flowers at Trader Joe’s), decide who gets what, write a little note, decide on the most efficient route, and of course delivery/driving time.

Ok. So no flower delivery tomorrow.

Next I thought, “Oh! FINALLY write notes to your team so you can give them the little gift you bought for them during the FIRST WEEK OF SCHOOL.”

Um, probably not.

Next idea, “Send cards to ____, ____, ____, and on and on.” Send that package to _____ and mail those things to _____ and ____. Oh! Don’t forget to mail that package to _____, too.”

I might do some of that.

I began to notice a trend....all of these things were doing things FOR other people.

Yes, it’s nice and fun and it feels good.

BUT....I need to stop constantly doing things for other people. I need to stop the constant feeling/believe that “you need to do things for other people...all the things...and right now! You need to show (and tell) them that you care! Support your friends! Encourage them!”

So, I’m not sure what I’m going to do tomorrow. I might do SOME snail mail tomorrow, but not all of the things.

In no particular order, I might:

take a candlelit bubble bath.

clean out the fridge and pantry

go to the grocery store

CALL THE PLACE THAT SETS UP MY SLEEP STUDY.

Drink the wine I bought last weekend.

Sit outside

Go for a walk

Put laundry away

Clean my house (ok, those last 2 don’t sound great. But getting those things done - especially the cleaning - would make me feel better)

Get lunch from my favorite restaurant

Nap. More than once if I want to.

Listen to Hamilton. And the Mixtape.

cut/arrange the flowers I bought on FRIDAY. They are still in the little plastic wrap thing.

I will do whatever the fuck I want - whatever will best take care of ME... whatever will bring me joy.

Things are looking up. I’m still so tired....all the time. But I no longer feel like I’m spiraling into a dark place.

Good night, friends.

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steve0discusses · 3 years

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S5 Ep6: Joey Wheeler is on Fire, Yet Again

Came down with a little sickness-not the biggie, just a little sly guy. But I took some meds, I’m a little floaty, I’ve only been listening to baroque music all morning for some reason? And I hate baroque music usually? But I’ll leave it to bro to tell me if this is fluid enough.

Just so you know, these caps were kind of a hot mess for a while and some of them read like that Garfield in of hot eat the food comic until...today. So pls don’t judge me, Judge my damn DMV where no one was following Covid regulations because I’m pretty sure that’s where I got this damn cold.

We start off with Roland getting more attention than he ever has in his entire life. Like honestly, I don’t know what Roland’s job really is...but he’s got a very diverse set of very useless skills. One of which, is knowing how to announce sports games that aren’t really a sport, while those games he’s announcing slowly fall into chaos.

Anyway, Roland’s taking so long cherishing his sweet time before everything goes to hell, that he’s boring Joey, who’s kinda turned into a ball of stress in the waiting room.

A lot of this episode is us watching them watching Joey having a break down moment by moment, TBH.

(read more under the cut)

Yugi telling Joey to study his cards and straight up--what?

Like at this point they know what’s on the cards, right? Like there comes a point where even Yugioh cards have a finite amount of words and I’m just going to assume that like...Joey probably knows them all in his own deck, right?

(bro note: they have no limit on what they will put on a card)

Then again, maybe Yugi doesn’t know what “study” means?

Also, appreciate how some artist crosshatched the hell on Joey’s nose there and I zoomed out and ruined it.

Now for some reason every duelist is hanging out in the duel lodge, including our current arch-villain guy who’s brought a book. I want to know what book this guy even reads so no one could suspect he’s actually a hacker who uses computers. He’s reading romance, right? And I don’t think he’d even be into Twilight, I think he’s straight up into hard core Mom romance like a lame ass Nicholas Sparks over there reading “Dear John” for the millionth time because he is completely un-phased by anything else happening in this room.

Joey, our hero, just out there being an asshole for no reason.

After Tea is pushed into a locker or something screaming about her need for female friends (which she screamed in earshot of Rebecca again, who I figured was on friends terms with her after last episode...but I guess not) Leon hops up to remind us that we should be caring about the fact that his character exists.

And like, I love Leon’s hair color--that’s a good choice, and legit that is the color I tried to dye my hair at the beginning of the epidemic (it didn’t work PS, my hair cannot take dye for the life of it) but also like...he just kinda feels like a weak Rebecca as far as characters go. He’s young, he’s good at cards...I think he goes to a private school? That’s all I can think of about Leon.

He mostly just reminds us that the big prize of this tourney is to duel Yugi, who anyone could have dueled at any point even without the tournament.

On the way out of the...duel room? lounge? Area? Joey decides to like...make peace with Zigfried, and I gotta tell you, I kinda have to side with Zigfried, because Joey spent the last ten minutes being a freak in the dressing room/lounge/bathroom and at one point looked like he was going to hold the entire locker room in a stranglehold.

I would also want some space from Joey Wheeler, is what I’m saying.

After insulting Joey’s style (which honestly, Joey...has a style? He pops his collar, that’s his entire style.) Zigfried assures us that Joey’s gonna lose and like...

...probably, right? Just looking at the plausible direction this season will go.

Anyway, Joey is such a mess (which is the theme of the episode, that Joey needs to learn to chill in order to win at card games) that Rebecca is like “I understand if all of you leave me to go help our poor baby Joey.” And no one felt bad for her.

Mokuba comes over to tell everyone all of the Kaiba family secrets because Mokuba has no filter.

Seto has devoted himself to staring at a computer screen for the rest of this episode. I guess he’ll put their names into Google, realize that social media hasn’t been invented yet, and then just lie his head down on the desk and take a power nap until the tournament is over. Much like I did after taking Dayquil this afternoon.

I like how Seto dressed for success and then locked himself in the server room for most of this arc so far. Maybe he’s just...really tired, I dunno. I don’t really blame the guy, he’s had a hard time.

And then Yugi was like “DAMN IT MOKUBA, JUST ONCE CAN YOU NOT INVITE THE ILLUMINATI???”

And we had a weird scene where Yugi just started talking to the ghost and it was while he was talking to everyone else, and the show didn’t treat it like that’s a weird thing to do...but it was a weird thing to do.

This show does that sometimes, where I guess they imply that Yugi’s Pharaoh conversations are split second conversations but...they’re not, right?

Also this chick ain’t gone yet, and Mokuba is just failing at his entire job for not zeroing in on vibes coming off this chick like stinky cheeseman.

So listen.

Did the Kaibas make like 3 types of Blue Eyes Caboose to one up Noah? Because Noah made one choo choo dragon, and then Mokuba and Seto were like “how dare” and then made sure that everyone ride every single version of the blue eyes caboose just to see how proud of them they were.

How many months of troubleshooting was the train? Like how long in development did Seto and Mokuba spend on these? A lot right? Like most of the time?

I did not check the subs to see if Roland said Jumping or Champion but I like to believe that Roland thought it was a cool new name he gave him.

Then these guys all showed up.

Hey so...can we talk seating arrangements?

Tea decided not to sit next to Yugi after complaining about not spending time with him for like how many episodes? Or was it too awkward to sit on top of what was probably Pharaoh?

Or did Mokuba go like “please, Tea, I cannot sit next to the others because I’m pretty sure one is a mole that is about to go cray” and was Tea like “Good, I need female friends, these ones are driving me crazy!” and then was Mokuba like peering desperately over the edge of his self made dragon train prison realizing he has to listen to Tea complain about boys for the rest of his ride across molten lava?

Headcanons abound about this weird seating arrangement that the animators drew for the reasons they did...but reasons I cannot fully understand. That and the Dayquil is making me overfixate on random stuff.

And also, Tea is kind of the Kaiba’s security’s understudy. Just there to always protect Mokuba with her ass because she’s the strongest woman alive.

PS I missed the tumblr wars because at the time I was trying to like...run a proper business on blogger. When Blogger died and I jumped over here it was like a weird ruin where everyone was like “tumblr is the most toxic place alive” and...I’ve had a really nice time here, actually. Completely missed that civil war period and I have no regrets.

Now I was there for the Petz wars (warz, I guess) where people were very militant about Petz abuse (abuze?) where apparently people were using the spray bottle on their catz too much and people were very, very upset about it to the point that they were like campaigning about it on their angelfire websites with the most bizarre grassroots campaigns that I still recall, to this day because they were like...well they looked like this:

PLAPA. Not only am I 100% positive that only this one guy ever called this movement PLAPA, but I’m 100% positive that not only are Catz not real people, but also this wasn’t actually happening and we never had any proof that it was. Either way, if people knew or suspected that you hadn’t deleted the spray bottle from your game (which at the time I had no idea how to do because I was a wee child) they would basically assume you were on a one way road to being a mass murderer in real life.

In real life we were 7 years old so like...thanks?

But that’s the closest I got to toxicity and at the time I was too young to make an email account and actually converse with these people. I was just there to download their Petz hexes, and I already made a post about how wonderful and incredible Petz Hexing was.

And y’all, I heard, just now after a little deep dive into the Petz Abuse debacle (which yes, is on the wiki), that apparently, like gardening, Petz Hexing came back in a big way during the epidemic--and I have found an active Petz forum in this the year 2021. The only problem is that I no longer remember how to use old timey forums...and I think I’m locked out of seeing most of these threads (and like this forum is so old I think I have to send them a letter in the physical mail to apply). But, I’m pretty sure they’re hosting a picture contest for who’s dogz poses the best. And I’m pretty sure someone created a hexxed Pickle Rick. Or it’s a photoshop that was made to look like a hexxed Pickle Rick.

Dammit why did it have to be Pickle Rick? That’s not worth re-installing Petz and getting it to run on Windows 10...

Guys is this the Dayquil? Is this really happening? I feel like I’m losing my mind for so many reasons...

Anyway, speaking about useless hexing it’s about time that our villain did something that was actually dangerous, so Zigfried decided to install a new virus that does more than turn off the lights. (it still turns off lights)

the Spreadsheet Virus!

Confounded by the spreadsheet software, it...um...it does this:

Straight up how does Excel make a volcano erupt? Is that why I have to pay for Microsoft office now?

All this because Joey made fun of Zigfried’s naturally pink hair? Which is the most normal hair on this series outside of like...Tristan?

Hey guys...Joey’s fine, right? Like how many times has Joey been on fire? And once in an iron cage next to like...a Fire Golem?

Joey’s fine.

MAN I miss Fire Golem. He had a good mug.

And then we just kinda watch chaos go across the park, chaos that includes: Too many ghosts in the haunted mansion (which honestly--you’ll get your money’s worth, sounds great!), the Ferris wheel goes kinda fast and thus might accidentally be fun, the lights turn off at some concert stage that only had 2 people on it (so it might just be motion detector lights and not even a virus), and um...literal fire and magma are going to set Joey Wheeler on fire.

Just...one of these events does not seem like the others. In fact most of these things sound like good improvements to the park and they should just hire Zigfried at this point.

Roland puts down his microphone and jogs across the stage, about a mile through the audience bleachers, and into the staff lounge, to go and bother Seto Kaiba, who is in a room that has a hi-def classical painting copy-pasted on the wall and I can’t look away from it.

I almost did a Google search on this painting but then thought better about it. There’s like...a billion classical paintings that look exactly like this, and they wouldn’t use like a Monet, they would have to do something that’s harder to catch to avoid copyright issues (because yes, even old ass paintings have copyright issues, but no one tell NFT’s which are going to be so freakin screwed and was such a bad idea, that I can’t even start).

Anyway, I have no idea who it is and it is legitimately driving me up a wall, but I’m on too much meds to do the effort of putting it in a reverse google image search.

Plus, a reverse google image search would only pull up Seto Kaiba.

So Kaiba takes us on a little flashback to his weird ass past, a weird ass past that just...doesn’t follow any of the established timelines, but I assume was shortly after adoption but before Seto got into a phase where he wore his school outfit everywhere and tried to shove his MMO off onto his Dad as a business model.

Seto is like 8 for some reason. I don’t know why, they kinda drew him younger this season anyway, like maybe they got a lot of fan mail and realized “Hey I think we made the 16 yo boy too sexy?” And they just toned Seto the hell down. That, and it’s a different animation team, and maybe they looked at Seto’s character design and were like “we don’t get paid enough to draw this well.” So...since Seto actually looks like a teen again, I guess his 12 year old self has to look like he’s in Elementary school.

Also, I only recognized this, because at some point in S3 as I was roasting Noah Kaiba’s weird fashion:

I remember distinctly roasting that little bow tie. I don’t remember when I wrote it, I think there was a version of this outfit that was in color...but I don’t remember where.

Anyway, it’s not the same jacket...but man that’s kind of awkward, ya? Like the maid who dressed Mokuba deffo got fired?

He um.

Turned the lights off a little bit.

Guys this villain is like...

...why does he think lights are scary? Like look at little Seto here. The boy is already bored. Seto duels on the edges of cliffs...he doesn’t care about the freakin dark.

We had a guy who killed everyone on the planet last season, and this season we have a little fashion gremlin standing in the corner and flicking the light switch going “wooooo you never catch me!” and it’s like...

...I’m starting to think this guy isn’t a witch.

Like we’re at Episode 6, there’s still time for this guy to be a witch...but I really am starting to think this guy is just...straight up not a witch. It’s everything Seto wanted, a rival who isn’t a freakin magic person...and sets Joey only fake on fire instead literally on fire like last time...

and Seto is just completely unhinged by it.

Anyway, I’m off to go drink a bowl of soup and pass out. If you’re new here, this is a link to read these in chrono order.

https://steve0discusses.tumblr.com/tagged/yugioh/chrono

#yugioh #yu gi oh #ygo #S5 #Ep6 #Yugi Muto #Seto Kaiba #Joey Wheeler #Tea Gardner #Tristan Taylor #Mokuba Kaiba #zigfried von schroeder #rebecca hawkins #I talked about catz again #leon #but not the kings of leon guy #I mean he could be

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missdawnandherdusk · 4 years

Note

So I saw the post where you said send in requests and i havent seen anything negating that, so uh, do you think you could write something (when you have the time and motivation of course please dont feel obligated (unless you want to) ) where people start noticing the way Draco flinches whenever someone makes a sudden movement and then all of the sudden one day he comes back to the castle after holiday and its so much worse and people start kinda trying to help and make his days better?

okay, here we go. And no one can convince me that no one at Hogwarts noticed that Draco was a victim of abuse but since Harry has the attention span of a goldfish, it wasn’t added that and JKR is a terrible person.

Also warning: this does talk about physical emotional and mental abuse. I want you all to know that you NEVER deserve it and never believe that your abuse situation “isn’t that bad.” You are cherished and loved and worthy and valuable.

okay, so the first year wasn’t too bad not that it wasn’t bad but, well Draco was innocent to any other way so he thought it was normal for his father to do what he did

Then things start to dawn on him that maybe no... this isn’t how it’s supposed to go. Yet, whenever he asks a question against his father... things don’t end well for him. “But why are muggle-born so bad?” “What’s wrong with the Weasleys?” “Why are you so mean to the house-elves?” It never ends well, so he stops asking but now boy does he have a lot of questions and internal conflict that grows.

back to the point so someone drops a book/cauldron/glass something and Draco jumps and begins to panic “is his father mad? What did he do? How can he do better?” because he’s convinced that his father is on another rampage, but Crabbe just nudges his arm and he’s brought back to the present and that he’s not in trouble or danger

Snape is the first to notice because he knows what to look for in a child that has been abused at home, from personal experience, so he scolds the student who dropped the thing harshly

Our darling Hufflepuffs take note very quickly. In fact, there’s a support group at Hogwarts for kids who come from not so safe homes. Magical abuse or not, it's a group to just come and feel safe and like you’re not alone lead by Sprout and McGonagall

In Herbology with Draco, the Hufflepuff tells Momma Sprout about what they think is going on and boy is Sprout a momma bear looking out for Draco at every turn and looking into any records she can get her hands on

These kids from the support group start to become very worried about Draco because they’ve seen it all before and they hate seeing anyone else go through what they went through

They start to send him anonymous letters so that he’ll get mail in the mornings, and sneak sweets/snacks into his bag when they notice he’s not eating, or volunteer to be his partner in class

Boy is Draco confused

Which means he snaps a lot more and is rude and scared because he doesn’t understand why they’re being so nice to him

Alone is what I have, alone is what protects me

When Buckbeak attacks him, of course, he breaks down into tears because it’s all too familiar and he’s terrified that if he blinks he might open his eyes and it’ll be his father coming at him, not Buckbeak

and maybe he keeps the bandages and brace on longer for more than he needs it because it was a reminder that someone cared for him and mended his wounds and he didn’t have to do it himself

You think he just like Potions? Oh no, he’s had to make his own healing Potions all his life for the sake of keeping up the family appearance.

Luna Lovegood, the precious child sees right through all of it. Easily. And is a lot more confrontational about it than the support group, who did things more on the down-low. She takes all of his ridicule and taunts and snaps and lets him yell at her because she knows he needs to vent to someone

When Hermione pulls her wand out to attack him, sure, he could be a drama queen with all bark and no bite but maybe again it's too familiar and whenever there’s a wand in his face like that it ends with him in pain

That night Luna finds Draco in the Astronomy tower alone and just sits next to him.

He scoffs but after a while asks how can she deal with living alone with her father. She tells him that her father is the kindest person she knows and it finally gets through to Draco that how he grew up was not normal.

Luna tells him about the Support Group and he gets notes here and there as invitations, and maybe he decides to go one night

He’s surprised to see a lot of kids he knows. Luna goes and sits by some of her friends, Neville is there, and quite a few older Slytherins, and the Hufflepuff from his Herbology class who smiles and waves at him.

He realizes that these are all the kids who have been nice to him

He doesn’t share at all during the meeting (it’s sort of like AA where kids just go through and talk about what happens to them, if they’ve grown or made progress, what scared them still. The older kids offer advice and comfort and tissues because everyone cries)

He doesn’t share for a few weeks of meetings that he attends, but he doesn’t feel so hopeless anymore

Maybe now he doesn’t snap so much and maybe he’s not as scared anymore to let people in because he’s not alone and he realizes that everyone has their own inner demons and struggles

Fifth-year is the worst for him. With No Nose back, his father is vicious and ruthless and takes his pain and anger out on Draco.

It’s after easter break that he finally shares. “My... my father...”

Before he can say another word there are arms wrapped around him and hands on his shoulders and soft encouragements and consoles.

“He... he used the cruatious curse on me... and said that if I didn’t do it on someone else that he’d...” And Draco just breaks down into tears because he feels wicked and broken and ashamed.

He cries harder when no one judges him or yells at him or treats him differently. He’s still just Draco to them. The same thing happens when he tells them about the Dark Mark,

When he starts to slip through the cracks, the group vividly helps him like they’ve helped kids before him for generations.

Ravenclaws helped him study and find motivation when he started to fail his classes, Hufflepuffs show him how to have fun and take breaks and self-care, Slytherins are there in the common room on sleepless nights with tea and blankets, Gryffindors are there as a defense squad against anyone who wants to get to Draco and boy do they rip on Harry

But maybe Draco sees in Harry what the others saw in him. A kid who’s very fast with reflexes and has the same sort of anger and defense mechanisms that he did

Draco defends Harry from a Slytherin and Harry is confused and the Slytherin is confused but they back down

Harry just glares and walks away and Draco rolls his eyes and sighs

He sends Harry invitations to the Support Group but the golden boy never shows

When the Death Eaters kidnap Luna, Draco about loses it because Luna was one of the first ones who helped him grow

So he goes down to the dungeon and they still have their own little support group. Luna sees first hand what it’s like to be Draco especially when his father makes Draco use the cruatious curse on her

He cries and begs for Luna’s forgiveness and of course, he has it, she knows he never wanted to hurt anyone

At Hogwarts seventh year, he and the Slytherins who were a part of the support group are now also apart of the rebellion and Draco is livid about the punishments that Snape allows because how dare he allow physical abuse as a punishment and he gets an earful from Draco about it

Snape explains that it’s to keep him safe and Voldemort from suspecting anything and Draco just “I don’t give a damn about me or you! Stop hurting these kids! They’ve done nothing to deserve it!” And he’s in tears

Snape pulls back on his regimen a bit

Of course, Draco lies to his father about not knowing who Harry is. Why would he let his father win when Draco held the cards?

When Draco’s father calls him back to the side of the Death Eaters, he’s about to go because he is still afraid of his father but Luna takes his hand and so does the Hufflepuff from Herbology, and soon there are hands on his shoulders and arms, reminding him that he’s not alone and that he’s not the scared little kid anymore and he stands with Hogwarts

He and Harry eventually have a talk about growing up and the abuse they both suffered and Harry and Draco both grow as people and stop being so childish and put away the grudge and hatred for another

He takes a Slytherin girl under his wing in eighth year who’s two years younger than him and jumping at her own shadow. He brings her into the Support Group and helps her find some courage and self-worth

That girl is Astoria Greengrass

Tags: @coffee-addicti @msmcsmutt @ravn-87@artemismohr18 @whygz @crazywritingbug @fuzzy-panda @bitemebro522 @zombiesnips-blog @jillanaholland @shookyungsoo @savingdraco @welcometomyworldwithoutrules @akari180 @slytherin-emerald @chaotic-good-gemini @memalfoy-spidey @theres-a-dog-outside-omg @queenfeatherwings @fanficflaneuse @go-whovian-universe @spicyshenanigans @darling-im-not-okay-i-promise @dietkiwi @katsukink @takemetothekingdom @strangerr-things @tmnt-queen @mccloudchloe @hxneybgb @justsomerandomgur @belcvayelena @moviesbooksandfandoms @howdycharlie @xtrashmouthxtozierx @cocochanelthepupper @ninacotte @braelynn-j @jiggllyy @honeymarvel @darcypottah @atomicpunkrock @thiccheerioss @lottie289 @boredashaeck @beautiful-pegasus @tceedlmao @deadlynyghtshayde @iconjuresnapeingrandmaclothes @anonymous034 @bi-andready-tocry @lunna-does-real-doodle @dragonsandbread @atomicwonderlandmentality @okaydraco @the–queen-of-hell @langdonzvoid @cmxreader @alienmotel @oh-itsnothing @tulippings @thestressedprincess @sunflowerxsadnessw @caps-wilsonn @fattycooter @angelotakunerd08 @thisisahugemistake @fanficsigottaread @gweaslvy @okaydraco @strawberriesonsummer @ughjjloveme @honeymarvel @gaysludge @cleopatera @ray-of-sunrise @artist-bby @shadowsingeraxolotl @peters-legos @quillsareforwriting @ghostlytoadalmondhairdo @wollymalfoy @lilpieceoftoast @monimillion @howdycharlie @gnf847

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loveisblindfanfictionbka · 3 years

Text

Love Is Blind: Chapter Four

Leandra and Melissa sat at the cafe table with Robyn and she told them about her conversation with Chris.

“So he’s got you thinking exactly what we’ve been telling you all these years,” Melissa mused.

“No, he just has me questioning if there was something in my marriage that I missed,” Robyn replied.

“I think you should meet him, Robs,” Leandra interjected, “you two seem to have a really good understanding.”

“No, we have a good thing going. I don’t want to ruin that.”

“I don’t think you want to be happy.”

“I do want to be happy but on my own terms. And I’m not ready. Talking to him made me think about my ex and just reminded me that I really still love him. And I don’t want to. I swear I don’t want to but something has this hold on me and-”

“We get it. Y’all were together for a long time.”

“It’s not just that. It’s- you ever meet someone and you just know that they’re it? Well he was it for me.”

“So what do you call this thing with Christian?”

“A friendship. I have no interest in making it more than that.”

“You ever been to therapy?”

“I tried it for a few weeks but I didn’t get anywhere.”

“Maybe you should try it again.”

“I don’t know.”

“Robyn, do you like being miserable or something? Is that the only thing still connecting you to Chris? Because if not, I don’t understand your apprehension to getting better.”

“I want to get better, I’m just scared of what that means.”

“Well Sis, you’ll never find out until you try.”

Robyn sat back in her office after returning from lunch with Leandra and Melissa. She didn’t have any appointments until 3 unless any emergencies came in so she had time to just think. She grabbed her phone and went to her dating app

A: Are you available to talk?

A few minutes went by before she got an answer

C: Sure, I just finished my last class. What’s up?

A: My friends think I should go to therapy

C: Ok. What do you think?

A: I’m not ready.

C: Why do you think that?

A: I don’t want to spill my guts to a stranger. Not when there’s someone who deserves it more

C: Deserves what? Your anger or your feelings?

A: My anger

C: So tell that person

A: I don't know where he is

C: So find him. I doubt your ex-husband was like some CIA type

A: Lol, no but I don’t think I’m ready to talk to him either

C: Do you ever think you’ll be ready?

A: I’m not sure

C: I think you’re thinking about it too much. Honestly, therapy should be for you and no one else. If you aren’t ready you won’t do anything but waste your money because you’ll fight everything at every turn. Nothing penetrates if you aren’t ready to hear it. And even if the therapist does happen to get through to you, it will not give you the closure that you’re seeking. The questions you want answers to, only your ex-husband can answer

A: I hate that you’re right.

C: Lol, there’s a lot of trauma that influences this rightness

A: Unfortunately. How are you? Was rude of me not to ask that first

C: You had something important to say, no worries. I’m fine. I was talking to my daughter and she wants a puppy

A: What kind?

C: Not sure yet. We’re gonna do some research before we make a decision

A: That’s good. I’ve had a lot of puppies be sent to my shelter because people didn’t pick the right dog for their lifestyle

C: That must suck. Do you have any pets?

A: No, I’m not home enough

C: Ah, understandable

A: would the puppy be your first pet?

C: No, I had a dog when I was a child but in my old profession, me and my ex were never home enough, it was always something with either my job or hers

A: That’s understandable.

C: You ready for your gala?

A: Physically? Yes. Emotionally? No. I’m working on convincing myself not to cancel

C: Is it really that hard?

A: Yes but I made a promise to my employees and stuff so I really do want to honor that

C: Do you need another incentive?

A: Depends on what you’re suggesting

C: How about a gift? Just for your effort of going to this event

A: And how am I supposed to get said gift?

C: I can mail it. Do you have a secure mailing address you would like me to send it to?

Robyn thought about her random PO Box that she uses when she doesn’t want to give out her work or home address.

A: PO Box 124, New York, NY 10003. Do I get to know what the gift is beforehand?

C: Nope. I’ll send it and make sure it arrives the morning of your gala. Think that’ll work?

A: I guess but I’m nervous about what it could be

C: You’ll see

A: And do you have a secure mailing address?

C: PO Box 762, Middletown, NY 10940

A: Upstate. Do you travel to the city every day or?

C: No, I have a condo near Columbia. I stay during the week then go home on the weekends.

A: How many hours of a drive?

C: Actually like 2 hours. It gives me some peace from the loud city life and gives my daughter some balance.

A: What’s it like up there?

C: Very spacious. I live in a somewhat rural part of Middletown. I have a couple acres of land surrounding my house.

A: I can’t even imagine what that would look like. Even when I lived in California, I was in the busiest part.

C: I think I appreciate it because I’m older now. I definitely enjoyed living in the city when I was in Cali

A: It holds a beautiful sense of excitement

C: Do you live near your business or far away?

A: I have an apartment nearby but I might start looking for a house soon. Maybe renovate a brownstone

C: That’s always a good deal. Would you rent out?

A: Nah. I don’t have the energy to keep up with being a landlord. It’s a job within itself

C: Very true.

A: I’m guessing you should be going, is your daughter school age?

C: She goes to a headstart program at a private school since she’s only 3 but they keep her until around 5 in aftercare. I usually have a late class today but I canceled it

A: Oh. Is something wrong?

C: No, I’d just rather not be out and about this evening.

A: Ah. Well thanks for talking with me. I got an appointment coming in soon

C: Anything major?

A: Nope. Just a check up

C: Well if you have time, I’d love to talk to you again

A: Talk or chat?

C: Talk

A: My clinic closes at 7 so I should be home by 8

C; And dinner?

A: I’ll probably grab something on the way home

C: So how about a dinner date then? We’ll eat and keep each other company

A: I’d like that

C: Great. See you at 8

A: See you at 8

Robyn closed her app then rested her head on her desk. She was drained.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“So what color is her dress? Jessica asked as she and Chris stood in the florist shop.

“It’s navy blue.”

“I think this corsage would be perfect. It’s simple, elegant and can be pinned to the dress instead of being situated on her wrist.”

Chris walked over the piece his sister was referring to. It contained a navy blue rose, a white rose and some baby breaths, “I like that one.”

“Do they deliver to PO Boxes?”

“Yea, that’s why I picked this shop and it’s fairly close to the Post Office where her PO Box is.”

“Why didn’t you just get her work address?”

“The whole point is to be strangers. Giving me her work address would defeat that purpose. She’s an established vet, I could probably look up her work address and find her, which, again, defeats the point.”

“Do you know what she looks like?”

“Not really. Her photo was a full body shot so the closer you zoom in the blurrier it gets. Same as mine.”

“And that doesn’t worry you? What if she’s ugly?”

Chris laughed, “what does that matter? We don’t ever plan on meeting each other.

Besides I’m not allowed to be nice to a possibly physically unattractive woman?

“You know that’s not what I’m saying. It’s just- I don’t understand this whole online dating thing”

“There’s nothing to understand because we’re not dating.”

“Yea. Right.”

“We are both in rebuilding stages of our lives and we like talking to each other. That’s all. If I was interested in more, I’d definitely would’ve insisted on meeting her or just moved on by now.”

“You told her about your nervous breakdown and suicide attempt. You haven’t even told your ex-wife that and you want me to believe you’re not dating.”

“Yes because we aren’t.”

“You’re buying her gifts?”

“I buy my friends gifts all the time.”

“You told her about Anesa.”

“And?”

“You talk almost everyday.”

“I’m not seeing your point.”

“My point is you’re dating this woman.”

“Jessica, big sister, I am not dating anyone. I like her, yes but that’s as far as it goes. I need a friend and she’s one for me. That’s it. That’s all.”

“You are so in denial, Chris.”

“I’ve accepted my situation, you’re the one with the conspiracy theories.”

“I’m just saying, I don’t want an ugly sister in law especially not after my last one. She was gorgeous and the point is to upgrade not backslide.”

“You get on my nerves, Jess.”

Jessica laughed, “is this all you’re getting for your friend?”

“Just because you said it like that, I am returning you home and finishing this adventure by myself.”

“Come on, don’t be like that Little Brother.”

“Then stop making this a bigger deal than what it is.”

This was definitely a big deal. Robyn stared at the box of things Chris had delivered to her PO Box and her heart melted a bit. The flower corsage with navy and white roses was beautiful. She loved the card that came attached but what shook her was the books he had gifted. One night they had stayed up talking about literature and she mentioned that she loved poetry but never had the time to really build up a collection. Wrapped with a red bow were two compilations of black poets. The note under the bow stated, “I’d like to contribute the first books to your poetry collection. It’s always good to start with the essentials (smile).”

Robyn grabbed one of the books and sat down in a chair just as Leandra walked in with her hairstylist beside her.

“What’s all this?” Leandra asked.

“My friend sent me a gift.”

“Your online friend?”

“Yes.”

“Wow, he must really like you.”

“I like him too.”

“Did you send something back?”

“I just got this, this morning so I’m still thinking.”

“How’d he get your address?”

“He doesn't have it. I gave him my PO Box.”

“Oh your stalker box.”

“Don’t start, Lele.”

“So how you feel?”

“I’m ok. I still don’t wanna go.”

“Girl, I ain’t talking about this stupid ass gala. How do you feel about Chris?”

“What am I supposed to feel? I really love the gifts but that’s it”

“I’m looking at your face and it’s more than that.”

“He got me poetry books.”

“What? You found someone to indulge your weird ass literature taste.”

“Look, just because you only like sex books doesn’t make my taste weird. I am cultured.”

“I have a master’s degree too so save it. How’d he know to get that?”

“We had a conversation about books and I told him I always wanted to start a collection of poetry but never had the time nor knew where to start and I guess he remembered.”

“What made him send you a gift?”

“It was a little joke about how he could get me to not back out of the gala. I honestly wasn’t expecting him to go through with it but he did.”

“A man who keeps his word. He really likes you.”

“I know.”

“So...still never gonna meet him in person?”

“That was never part of the deal.”

Leandra groaned as she flopped down on the couch, “are you at least gonna get some from somebody at this gala?”

“Ewww….no. I’m staying at most an hour then coming back home.”

“Have you talked to Chris?”

“Not today.”

“Do you only chat on the app?”

“Yea.”

“Oh.”

“Why?”

“I thought you would’ve gotten his phone number by now.”

“Nah, that’s too personal. I wouldn’t give my number to someone I haven’t met yet.”

“So meet him.”

“No.”

“Ugh….you get on my nerves, Robyn.”

Robyn laughed, “what’s your plans for tonight?”

“Getting the baby from his father and going home.”

“How is my nephew?”

“He’s good.”

“And his father?”

“Still alive, unfortunately.”

“Don’t do Max like that.”

“He gets on my nerves.”

“How?”

“He keeps asking me if we’re getting back together.”

“Aww...Lele, he still loves you.”

“That’s not my problem.”

“And you still love him too. You always playing hard to get.”

“Ch….I am hard to get. Thank you very much.”

“Is that why y’all keep going on vacations together?”

“If a man wants to take me to Puerto Rico or Costa Rica free of charge, who am I to say no?”

Robyn laughed, “Lord, what are we gonna do with you?”

“Love me, duh.”

Leandra stayed until Robyn was ready to leave for the gala. As she climbed into the back of car, she grabbed her phone

A: Hey stranger

A few minutes passed before she received an answer.

C: Hey. How are you?

A: I’m great. On my way to the gala

C: Still decided against an escort?

A: Yea. Besides, I don’t plan on staying there long.

C: Ah ok

A: So….thank you for the gifts. The corsage is perfect for my dress

C: You’re very welcome. My sister helped me pick that out.

A: Tell her I said thank you

C: I will

A: So what are you up to?

C; Laundry and grading work

A: What’s the task this week?

C: Students had to craft an original piece of music modeled after a piece they enjoy so I’ve been listening to music tracks all day

A: How’s it sounding?

C: I’ve gotten a few good ones but what passes for music and what these students are modeling their pieces after is awful.

A: That bad?

C: Some of these songs just can’t find a key and then when I listen to their reference tracks, I understand why. Music production has gotten so lazy over the years

A: You think so?

C: I’m gonna send you the best one I’ve heard and the worst one and tell me what you think

A: I’m getting homework now too, Professor

C: Lol. I just want you to hear what I’m dealing with

A: Send it. I’ll get back to you when I can

C: No rush. I’ll be home all weekend with this.

A: Cool. How’s the puppy search going?’

C: Good. We’ve narrowed it down to three puppies. I told her she has one week to pick one and then we’ll find a place to buy it.

A: As a shelter owner, please try and get a shelter dog. So many of them are good dogs that were in bad situations.

C: I will keep that in mind.

A: That’s all I ask

C: So what’s your plans after the gala?

A: Home.

C: Up for a video chat?’

A: Absolutely. I kinda miss your automated voice

C: Lol Same here

A: Anything else going on

C: Nope. I live a rather simple life.

A: Is that a good thing or a bad thing?

C: To be honest, I’m not quite sure

A: Something giving you doubts

C: My daughter told me she feels sad for me

A: Aww...why?

C: Because I’m alone. It’s kinda hard to explain to a three year old the difference between alone and lonely

A: Lol true but then don’t explain with words, show her with actions. She probably thinks you don’t have a life and for children, they haven’t commanded the power and beauty of peace and stillness. They still have so much they haven’t explored

C: You have a point

A: Honestly, if you find things to do when she’s not around, she’ll probably feel a bit better about you

C: I’ll have to find me a new hobby then

A: What’s your current hobby?

C: I don’t really have one to be honest. My job involves music now so it’s not really a hobby anymore

A: It could be, it’s not like you make music for your class, do you?

C: Not recently

A; Do you sing, play instruments? What?

C: I have a decent voice but I play the piano, the guitar, and can do alright by the saxophone

A: What type of music do you prefer to play?

C: Nothing like an old school soul song. I love playing Sade records on the sax

A: I might have to compel you to play for me one day

C: I would offer to play tonight but my instruments are in storage

A: No rush. It’s just a thought

C: I’d love to play for you though

A: You making me feel inadequate

C: In what way?

A: The gifts. The music offers. Doesn’t feel like we’re on even footing

C: Well only you know what you have to offer. Find what works. I’m always open for gifts or moments

A: I’m gonna have to think of something. Thank you for the poetry books by the way. It’s a good start of a collection

C: The classics are always your best bet

A: I’m a little surprised you remembered

C: Why?

A: It was such an odd conversation and it was late when we had it, surely you wouldn’t have remembered it

C: That’s a weird assumption. If there is one thing I’ve learned from being married, it’s learning to listen just as much as you like to talk. Reciprocity is the key.

A: Very true.

C: Are you at the gala yet?

A: Just pulled up

C: Well I hope you have a good night for however long you are there

A: I hope they do the award ceremony first so I can get my award and leave

C: If I gotta try and find a life, you need to live yours. You never know you may enjoy the time

A: We’ll see. Talk to you later

C: Later

#chrianna #loveisblindfanfiction

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thoughtsofanexcitedspacechild · 3 years

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50 things I’ve learned this year during a global pandemic/general life advice from your local teenage train wreck :) (Pt. 1)

1. It’s okay to let go. Of things, people, old interests, even your past self. It doesn’t matter. If it isn’t benefiting you anymore, it’s okay to let things go.

2. No relationship is worth pursuing that doesn’t match your energy. If someone’s not matching the love you give them, pull back to match their energy. That way, you save your energy for the people in your life that do. Most times, the people who do match your love and energy are the one’s that are in it for the long run and will be there for you.

3. Stop caring what other people think about your interest. Often times we have so much shame for liking what we like. Why is that? If it isn’t hurting anyone, then why does it matter that you have an obscure taste in music, books, movies, etc.? Stop apologizing for what you like!

4. It’s okay to not want to grow up, even if that’s all you wanted to do as a kid. You don’t have to grow up.

5. Going off of that, if you’re a “gifted” or “mature” kid, it’s okay to mourn your childhood you never had. Watch that show that you never did as a kid and fall in love with it. Finger paint with no exterior motive. Read way below your reading level. Reread Harry Potter or the Percy Jackson series. Play outside. You deserve it.

6. “Kids” shows, including atla, lok, etc. often have more complex and interesting plots and characters than most “adult” shows these days. Don’t dismiss something just because it’s geared for a younger audience. Watch and learn from them.

7. The changes you want to happen don’t suddenly happen. They’ll happen after many months of trial, error, and consistency. Take baby steps and celebrate small victories.

8. You’re body will always be imperfect, and it’s okay. You’ll eventually learn to accept it once it doesn’t change so fast during adolescence, but don’t feel pressured to. It’s okay to not like how you look, just don’t let it keep you from enjoying life and your body from serving it’s purpose.

9. Most high school guys don’t want a serious, long term relationship yet. They all have to mature a little bit for that, and it’s normal to feel frustrated about it, but don’t blame them too hard for it. You matured at a faster rate then them, and they still need a little more time. The best thing to do it wait for it.

10. Questioning your sexuality is a normal part of life. You like guys? Good! You into girls? Great! It literally doesn’t matter, and God doesn’t really care either. There’s nothing in the Bible against it, and he made you that way right? Why not embrace it! Asami was your first gai crush? WONDERFUL! me too! Want to label yourself? I’ll respect and support whatever your decision is! Don’t know or don’t want to? Also perfect!

11. God (or whatever you believe in, or don’t!) made you imperfect for a reason: to embrace those imperfections and grow through them, to improve. Why would God put you on this earth if He didn't think that you had a reason to grow closer to Him through your imperfections? Make sure you use and acknowledge your imperfections, because they’re your lifeline to Him in prayer. It’s what you need to improve on, and ask help for, and that’s okay! (Spoiler alert, even when you do this stuff and work super hard, you’re human, and you’re still gonna mess up and make mistakes! Perfection wasn’t intended for humans, and I don’t believe it ever will be!)

12. When summer rolls around, get a summer job. Go down to the local ice cream place and ask if they’re hiring. Get an application and fill it out nicely with good handwriting. Then, take it back and wait. If they say yes, great! If not, that’s good too! Keep looking! Once you’ve found a place, settle in. Learn how things work. Learn how to do your job good and effectively. Immerse yourself in it. Then, have fun. Name the machines. (Big Bertha the waffle iron, or Fernanda the flurry machine, etc.) Name the ice cream flavors after your favorite fictional characters based on what they’d order (Aang is cookie dough, Obi Wan is mint chocolate chip, etc). Make new friends there and schedule your shifts with them. Get them in on your games too! It makes it more fun. Take time to show them your names for the ice cream flavors and machines, and maybe start using the names as abbreviations to make orders more efficient. Make sure you work only how much you can handle, even if that’s once a week or seven days for nine hours each. Whatever makes you happy! If you work in customer service, make them smile. Give the little kid extra sprinkles for wearing a fun mask or stickers if you have them. If there’s a tired mom, help her out by prioritizing her order to get out fast if possible. Whatever helps them. Thank the customers that tip! Then, get your paycheck in the mail and save all your tips. Put it in the bank and save it for college or when you need it. (Make sure to buy yourself something nice with the money sometimes too!)

13. When in school, don’t feel pressure to over achieve all the time. It’s okay to do the bare minimum sometimes. If you have an A, why are you worrying about if it’s a 95 and not a 98? It’s still an a, and that’s great! School is there to help you learn, so don’t force yourself to do extra busy work for a little extra credit (unless you absolutely need it!).

14. Take time to learn and do other things outside school that you may not be getting credit for. They’ll serve you in the long run! You like to write fan fiction? Keep writing! It’s helping! You love a sport? Good! It’s keeping you healthy while teaching you real life skills. Most of these things are gonna stick with you forever, so keep doing them and don’t let you passion fade away.

15. Write letters to your friends that live far away. Even if they don’t respond, they will appreciate having something that’s harder to lose or accidentally get deleted. Make the letter nice with pretty paper or colored pens or stickers, and spray your favorite scent on the envelope. Then seal it with a sticker and send it off. They really will appreciate it.

16. Splurge on your own Spotify premium account and make a playlist for each mood. Make one for studying, working out, singing at the top of your lungs, one for when your happy, sad, etc. (You can also search my name, Hana Zainea, to listen to any of my playlists and see if we have the same music taste. If so follow me there and I’ll follow back to see your playlists!) Listen to your music and take time to enjoy it. Set aside ten to fifteen minutes just to do that. Let it flow through you and wake your soul up.

17. Learn how to make handmade gifts. Wether that’s learning to make necklaces, earrings, bracelets, crochet, knit, or even make a nice card with hand lettering, learn how to make at least one solid handmade gift. It’ll give you a new skill as well as let the other people in your life that you love them. Handmade gifts are valuable and kept forever no matter how good they look.

18. If your best friend lives far away like mine does, plan a monthly bsf subscription box. You can send each other a letter and a few little self care gifts once a month. It’s soooo fun and I can’t recommend this enough.

19. Have photos that you like printed in physical form and hang them on your wall even if it’s just with tape. You’ll like being able to see and access happy thoughts and memories easily and have them hanging on your wall instead of sitting in your camera roll.

20. You don’t have to keep up with social media. Delete it if you want, or limit your time on it if you want. Sometimes the “connection” we experience through social media isn’t always healthy, so monitor your use.

21. Have a screen time widget on your phone and keep track of it. Try to cut your usage down by half an hour every week and eventually reduce it to the amount of time that you’d like to spend on your phone without being excessive, whatever that looks like for you.

22. Meditate. This isn’t anything religious or spiritual, and it brings many benefits. It’s basically you setting a time aside to think for yourself. You can use one of the hundreds of guided meditations on youtube, or listen to theta waves/meditation music or just find a quiet place. Find a place where you know you won’t be disturbed, and then start to let your mind wander. What’s bothering you. When you turn off you mind, what’s the first thing that pops up? What keeps you from just being? What do you need to focus on in order to help yourself feel better? What are some things that you regret that are weighing on your heart? Now, what is your desired reality? Where do you want to live? Who do you want to meet/live with? What do you do? What do you act like? What do you have to do to make this happen? If you pray/are a christian, ask God for help with this desired life. (Remember, ask and you shall receive!)

23. Get yourself a hydro flask or any other durable water bottle, specifically a 16 or 32oz one. This way, it’s way easier to keep track of how much water you are drinking. A 16oz bottle is one pint and a 32oz one is a quart. Four of the 32 and eight of the 16oz are a gallon. Start by trying to drink a quarter of a gallon (2 16 oz or 1 32 oz) then a half, then three quarters, and eventually you’ll be drinking a gallon plus of water a day. (Put stickers on it to motivate yourself. Trust me it works wonders having fun stuff on there. Makes it enjoyable)

24. If you’re able, make and give gifts often. It brings more joy than expected.

25. Get rid of clothes. Toss all the old ones out. Reinvent yourself. Invest in pieces of clothing that are timeless (crewneck sweaters, cable knit sweaters, tan and brown colored dress pants, nice wool coats and sweaters, etc.) You’ll have these forever.

26. Maintain your physical appearance. Make sure to change your clothes, follow proper hygiene, use lotion, etc. You’ll feel much better, trust me. You don’t have to use expensive products or put on a full face of makeup either, but putting some effort in will make you feel much better about yourself.

27. Find a tea that tastes good to you. (Preferably without caffeine so you can drink it whenever.) Try everything! Then get yourself a nice mug and have some at a dedicated time each day. Relax and enjoy a constant in your life.

28. If you’re into it, research and try reality shifting. I’m not going to go into depth in this post (that would take awhile) but if you’re really needing an escape but can’t go on vacation due to money, time crunches, etc, you can shift to any alternate reality that you’d like. Further in depth post about this to come.

29. Read. Anything. A book, and article, the paper, the news, even the back of a cereal box. Think about it. What did you learn? Anything?

30. Never accept criticism from someone you wouldn’t go to for advice.

31. Call your parents if you live away from home. If not, spend more time with them. They love and miss you.

32. Same with your siblings.

33. And grandparents.

34. Find a way to remember your home town. Know it like the back of your hand.

35. Read Shell Silverstien poems. They’re funny.

36. Have a piece of jewelry that you never take off. Keep it to remind yourself of your sanity and to remember yourself.

37. Cry of you need to. It’s bad to hold it in.

38. Series you should read (even though some are nerdy): Harry Potter, Percy Jackson/Heros of Olympus, The Hunger Games, The Red Queen Series, The Giver Series, Lord of the Rings, The Hobbit.

39. Standalone books you should read: The Book Thief, The Fault in our Stars, They Both Die in the End, Where the Crawdads Sing, The Scarlet Letter, Jane Eyre, Pride and Prejudice, The DaVinci Code, The Great Gatsby, The Catcher in the Rye, Out of my Mind, Love that Dog, The Unfinished Angel, To Kill a Mockingbird, Romeo and Juliet

40. Shows you should watch: Avatar (Even if you’re a casual fan of the fandoms) : The Last Airbender, Legend of Korra, The Mandalorian, The Office, The Clone Wars, Parks and Rec., Stranger Things

41. Standalone Movies/Series you should watch: The Notebook, any of the Disney classics (specifically Lion King, Hercules, and others during that era), the Harry Potter movies, the Hunger Games movies, The Star Wars Movies, All of the Pixar movies (specifically Soul and Coco), Ten things I hate about you, the perks of being a wallflower, Clouds, If anything happens I love you

42. Artists to listen to: Norah Jones, James Taylor, John Denver, Anson Sebra, Ed Sheeran, The Paper Kites, The Artic Monkeys, Conan Grey, L. Dre (for Lofi) Song recs are on my Spotify haha (Hana Zainea)

43. Invest in good supplies for art. It’ll make a difference.

44. When something feels off, clean your bathroom. Not your depression cave of a bedroom. Your bathroom. Trust me. It helps so so so much to have on clean space.

45. Have a cohesive scent. Like lavender? Buy lavender everything. Use it in lotions, deodorant, shampoo, conditioner, candles, etc. You’ll have a scent that people will now associate with you and you only.

46. Learn how to cook while your at home. Ask your parents if you can go to a nutritionist and learn what foods nourish your body the best. Eat them and let yourself feel good about what you put in your body.

47. Learn how to do basic home improvements while still at home. Fix toilets, clogged drains, clean ovens, showers, sinks, etc. You’ll be grateful.

48. Don’t do drugs/drink. It’s not worth dulling your senses to miss out on your wonderful life.

49. Annotate your books. It makes you engage more and you’ll like looking back on them.

50. If no one is looking, you should totally cart surf down the isle at the grocery store. It’s the little things that count.

#daily life #livingfully

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cawolters · 4 years

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December...? DECEMBER!?

What about September?

November?

October?? What did I miss??

Yes, well, no you didn’t miss any vitals updates. I have reasons for why I haven’t been active on tumblr, and the most honest reason is that I didn’t feel like writing and posting on here since spring.

The writeblr community is so so great, one of the best in the web, but the platform is driving me nuts. Flagging, shadow bans, tag dysfunction and draft erasing/crashing, have just completely smashed my love for making fun and elaborate posts.

However, lots of updates has been made and i keep seeing wips I want to tag list and people i want to hang out with, so I’ll stick around for another decade or so! Hashtag always lurking.

The more polite reason for my absence, and equally truthful I might add, is that I was very busy the last few months —COMMISSIONS! LIFE! IRL NETWORKING!

And now I’ll tell you about it all, starting by answering the Q on everyone’s tongue:

1) Is Flash Fiction Friday Getting Revived in 2020?

In short, yup.

I need it, you need it, the world needs it. We need to WRITE folks. And the lovely prompt Friday will be back with week no 30 (!!) on:

Friday the 10th of January!

I have a capable team of creative and lovely writeblrs on the job as to how we an ensure consistent posting —and just and FYI, we might even end up with giving the FFF it’s own blog.

Run free, be with the people my beautiful prompt creature, inspire! And give me something to read!!

Stay tuned for updates and tell me is you want to be added to the FFF tag list.

Now next up is my scrip update!

2) Querying ‘The Serpent Kiss’

All is well in the land of querying.

or... well almost.

Alrighty, lemme explain below.

So, if you’ve been following me for awhile, you know my third child (whom is not currently teething or using my lipstick as a crayon) is my dark new adult fantasy trilogy —The Serpent Kiss <3

If you donno what I’m talking about, here’s a quick summery of the query process:

I finished the English first draft, two and a half years ago (I think?) and started looking into querying after my fifth draft was done.

I decided very early on that I would feel more comfortable working here in Denmark, where I already have a literary network, and actually understand the cultural unwritten rules when working with publishers!!

Since then I have been rewriting, tweaking, had beta-readers, editors, a sponsored translator (who translated the script from English to danish) BEFORE I started querying seriously in Denmark.

During the time where the book was being reviewed, I’ve kept in touch with houses who showed interest in the book from the get go (encouraging me to push onward), done a lot of social media work (especially on Instagram since the publishers all mentioned the importance of that platform) and attended books cons to physically mingle (it makes a difirence —really).

Ah, and now, finally, we’ve starting to get serious replies back from the Danish publishers.

Let’s look at what they’ve said so far.

(And mind you, this is Denmark. We’re a tiny country and we DON’T have adult fantasy books written by danish authors, so their critique is based on that. YA is what’s sellable and had been for years, buuut I also know that tendency will shift, so that’s what I’m really selling. A new trend basically. Always understand what pov the critique is coming from and don’t stop at the first rejection)

3/5: ‘no thank you, there’s no marked in Denmark for your book’

1/5: ‘we love it but rewrite it to YA and we have a deal’ — I said, no thank you

1/5: ‘we love it as is and we want to give you a deal, but we have to work out the legal kinks, and we will give you final answer by the end of January!’

So I’m awaiting the final judgement!!

But not really, it’s not the final judgement. If the deal falls through, and it might, never pop champagne before signing, I still have four more houses I could send the book to here in Denmark.

And, I could still go the international route and query over seas.

Yup! That’s the update on that!

Next up? The general writing!

3) A Year Of Author

“It’s really hard being a writer... Not on the days where you’re writing, but on the days where you’re not!”

— @CAlisaWolters, Instagram confessions

My year of full time professional writing, meaning mainly relying on my text/skill/art to heave in the cash, is six months down and going — OK!!

Here’s what I’ve learned/done so far:

I’m writing 4-7h on commissions, the second book of the trilogy, short-stories, poetry and another little YA project every day. Yes. Every day. And that’s very very cool and also exhausting mentally. My advice to others: HAVE OBLIGATORY DAYS OFF! (Oh yea and I also won nanowrimo but the project is a secret shh).

I’m somewhat alone most of the time but being a closeted introvert, I don’t mind, but I miss coworkers. That’s why Café dates and write-ins with writer pals IS IMPORTAINT.

Also! Speaking of socializing, I’ve been to five writers cons/events and I definitely recommend making it a priority for all professional authors. BRING BUSINESS CARDS!!

I have a set routine and I’m really happy with it! Early mornings is the best! And Monday is where I don’t write, but keep up with social media and answer mails and run errands! MAKE A ROUTINE!

And that’s the update on THAT!! Phew I’m getting winded, are you? Fear not we one have one last thing to cover. Promise.

4) Personal Life and Drag Kings ^_^

Where to start? Ah I know! I’ll start with the drag king storytelling event because that’s really what stands out!

I’m a mom, a wife, a bisexual, a general theatrical person and a genderfluid jellyfish who uses she/her pronounces, so when someone booked me for a storytelling event, I decided to go in drag. Naturally. Tsh duh.

I’ve really been experimenting with my gender this year, playing with apperence and comfortzones, and discovering that my real happiness lies somewhere between flooofy dresses and black buttondowns. And not just the clothes, but there attitude, the demeanor, the mental space of wearing cologne!! It might not sound dramatic, but to me it’s been A RIDE!

(I’ve been dying to go full drag for a long looooong time and I should’ve gone all out on the makeup —but next time!!! Also the event went so so well and I had the best time! I’m going to do it again!)

And NOW I’m done! Hah not really, but I won’t force you to spend all day reading my updates and this post is already so loooong 💕💕✨💕

The new year looms!! May it bring you love and confidence, and lots of new opportunities!!

Hug hug hug!!

~Ciao

#author #cawolters #ayearofauthor #writeblr #my writing #nano 2019 #books #writer #update #query #agents #writing adventures #writing advice

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townpea04 · 3 years

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He pulled a deck from his breast pocket-- apparently, he carries the significant arcana from the Marseille deck with him anywhere-- and selected The Lovers card. Every person normally gets delighted when The Lovers turns up in a reading, because most of us presume that it means advantages for our love life; but it doesn't always show romantic love in any way. While they are an online analysis service and also can chat, they primarily do tarot readings by phone. While that goes over by itself, what really sticks out about this network is the experience of the tarot card masters you discover there. They provide insightful analyses that utilize the tarot card as a tool to divine details concerning a person's circumstances. They have actually developed tarot checking out to the point of it being an art kind and also I've always found out more about myself as well as just how to browse my present life scenario from spending time on the site. Kasamba has actually been supplying tarot readings on the internet for two decades now. There are many different tarot card decks offered, as well as each deck and also visitor are unique. The reader will certainly set the cards out in different patterns using varying numbers of cards. Therefore, if you do choose a specialist love psychic reading, youll be able to come close to the following events in your life with more courage. You can figure out every detail you require to know about your existing as well as future lovemaking. Likewise, youll find out to make the right options as well as trust fund the right people. What you genuinely require in order to utilize the power of a tarot analysis to the maximum, is a highly user-friendly and also educated overview. The analysis provided by a real psychic is the outcome of experiences given from generation to generation. According to many psychic resources on free love tarot card details, you must ask flexible inquiries. This is since tarot cards can help you clear up the subject, not tell you what to do. Many people advise the Rider-Waite deck for novices, as the cards' meanings are so frequently user-friendly-- and when they're not, lots of analysis overviews exist in books and also online. Many decks, consisting of the Rider-Waite, come with a little sheet of paper specifying each of the card's most typical analyses. Though tarot cards have taken on a mystical definition in the cultural imagination, they were initially planned as even more of a parlor game. The cards have been utilized given that a minimum of the mid-15th century; the earliest tape-recorded decks came from different parts of Italy. I think I can help you comprehend the hidden significance of points. Our complimentary tarot card readings need to allow you to recognize your future better and also recognize what awaits you. Tarot card analyses are a powerful type of divination that make use of an ancient deck of cards to aid you locate answers to your most important questions regarding love, partnerships, your career, financial resources and more. Psychics and also foreteller have used Tarot card cards for centuries, and also Relied on Tarot will certainly provide you an exact reading that's individualized based the cards you pick as well as the order you choose them. Every card has a various definition depending upon its setting, so you will certainly get a special and also detailed point of view on your current situation. To plan for your analysis, I recommend that you listen to this grounding excercise - after that scroll down and pick your cards. The tarot card deck includes 78 cards, each of which is related to its very own particular imagery, significance, as well as story. Out of the 78 cards, there are 22 significant Arcana cards that stand for the karmic as well as spiritual lessons of a person's life. The 56 Minor Arcana cards symbolize the adversities and tests that we, as human beings, face in our day-to-days live. Amongst the Minor Arcana cards, there are 16 Tarot Card Court Cards which stand for 16 various personality traits that we share at different times.

#tarot reading #tarot card reading

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whoopsimwritingagain · 4 years

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Back Home - Jacob Black

A/N: This is an A/U where there’s no mention of the vamps/ Bella, but I’m not outright denying their existence in this universe because this universe would collapse. The character is modeled after Bella in some ways and is original in others. Please send in requests, and commentary on my work,

DISCLAIMER: I am no longer accepting requests for any of the wolves! While I am glad to write any that have already come to my inbox I realized in writing that I simply do not know these characters well enough to feel good about my work or write complexities into the story. Sorry for any inconveniences!! Much love.

Word Count: 1978

Warnings: None

I rolled the last of my suitcases across the hardwood floor of my childhood bedroom into the closet where it would wait to be unpacked. “I think that’s the last of them,” my dad says. I have barely spoken since I arrived. I just can’t seem to find any words worth speaking. My dad knows why I’m here. At this point I feel like the whole town of Forks knows why I, a 22 year old former valedictorian, is moving back into her dad's house and working at the local diner. Everything seemed to be going fine. Better than fine actually, I had earned a coveted paid internship at the Boston Globe that I was set to start the month after my wedding to a promising young medical student. God, I should have known this was coming. That sentence sounds flat out ridiculous.

After graduation we entered the wedding prep whirlwind. Everything had been booked and ordered, but I had to deal with my soon-to-be mother-in-law. So I endured a month of her asking me if we wanted the bridesmaids hair to be curled or braided and teased, or if we should order last-minute gift bags. I endured a month of her silent judging, or not so silent when I wanted to have a glass of red wine after having my teeth whitened. All of that for him to leave me on our honeymoon. Ethan told me that I had changed while he was “too busy to notice,” and that I didn’t make him happy anymore. He said he wished he would have left me at the altar so we wouldn’t need to go through the headache of nullifying the marriage. A three year relationship thrown in the trash and a ring thrown in the ocean (that he billed me for.) So I got on the first flight to Boston from Athens and booked an Airbnb for the remaining weeks until I could move into the apartment I had planned to share with E. And then the unthinkable happened. My contracted position at the Globe was eliminated. I was offered a package, along with the dozens, maybe even hundreds, of employees that lost their jobs thanks to the digitization of journalism. I used most of the money from the package to do four things on the Thursday Evening I was “let go.” 1. I bought my plane ticket to Seattle, and booked a rental car I could take to forks 2. I backed out of my lease. 3. I wrote Ethan a check for the ring. 4. I sent the majority of our wedding presents back to the givers along with a note giving a blunt and apologetic explanation of how my life had fallen out of place.

Knowing all of this, my father gave me my space. He let me not talk the day I moved back in, he let me ignore my old friends, he let me leave my personal mail unopened on the kitchen counter - I didn’t want anyone’s condolences. After the fourth week of me interacting solely with him and my customers at the diner he slid a card for a therapist across the dinner table. Now, I recognize that therapy is very beneficial for a lot of people, and I couldn’t tell you why, but I absolutely did not want to go to therapy. So instead, we found a sort of compromise. I would start talking to people. I wouldn’t ignore the neighbors anymore when he goes over to chat with them, and I’d start going to church with him. But most importantly, I would start seeing one of my old friends - at least once a week. I protested and I tried to find loopholes, but each time he would remind me that I was living in his house rent-free while I worked to pay off my student loans, and I would have to shut up. So I finally started picking up the sympathy calls, or at least the calls, from one person in particular, Jacob Black. Jake, my high school boyfriend, the one that got away if you will. Or rather, the one who stayed behind. Jake and I have a long history. Our dads have been good friends for a long time. My father and I moved to Forks because my dad wanted to downsize our lives after my mother died. Billy and dad met in the very diner I work in now, and apparently Jake’s mom had died 2 years prior. Grief loves company or some shit like that. So we grew up making mud pies and stick forts on the beach. Around high school things got weird and by the end of the first semester of our freshman year we figured it would only hurt more to try and fight the feelings we had developed for each other. So there you have it. High school love.

Jake had been an absolutely perfect boyfriend. Sure, we fought, everyone fights, but we really had something special. Jake is just so light-hearted, and sincere, and physically… well, he’s pretty stunning. Getting through his transition was tough because he was so confused and angry. But we did! I thought if we could make it through that we could make it through anything. I was wrong. March of senior year I was accepted to the University of Washington’s journalism program, and Jake started talking to Billy about what taking a bigger role in the pack would look like. I didn’t want to stay in a small town, but Jake couldn’t leave, he had too deep of a connection. We talked about this after graduation. The decision wasn’t immediate. If anything, that week we made every effort to be closer to each other. Occasionally, after we had sex, or during whatever movie we were watching, one of us would catch the other staring off into space. No doubt contemplating the predicament at hand. It was a mutual ending, but it was still hard, it still hurt for a long time. I even saw a counselor at my college for a while just to try and figure out what I wanted. But we have remained good friends, he even stood at my wedding, so his calls have been the hardest to ignore. The next time he calls me, I answer, and it’s the most relief I’ve felt since I threw my ring into the sea.

We meet the next day at a little cafe. He looks happier than I remember. Jake greets me five minutes early and his beaming smile makes me feel secure. I wave at him right before being engulfed in one of his warm and comfy hugs. For those five seconds it’s like I’m back in high school. This is the least worried I’ve felt since those simpler days. No deadlines, or internship applications, no boyfriend to make me feel like I need to “be better” all the time. Just Jake and cold brew. He starts with small talk, knowingly avoiding the dreaded “how are you” and navigating more comfortable topics like the pleasantly sunny day we were enjoying in the rainy peninsula. He fills me in on the latest pack drama and I regurgitate the bits and pieces of local news I pick up at the diner. He’s making some joke about the Forks kids who have been sneaking onto the beach at the res and as I laugh I instinctively put my hand on his arm. It would be cheesy to call what he makes me feel “electricity”, but that small action definitely made my hair stand on end. Jake must feel the same way because we both blink at the point of contact for a moment before pretending to study the wall. The conversation lulls for a minute. When he starts to talk about the res again he moves his arm, but he doesn’t pull it away, instead he holds my hand.

The cafe closes three hours after we get there, so we grab drink refills and head to our favorite trail. Perfectly stationed between my house and the res. I sit down on a rock near the cliff and Jake comes to sit down by me. We sit there in silence for a while, enjoying the waves. Jake looks over at me now and I can already tell what he’s about to say. He opens his mouth and then thinks better of it. Instead he says “Is it… okay?” “Actually,” I reply, “I think you’re the only person who’s allowed to talk to me about it right now.” “Oh, okay” he gulps and lets it sit for a second. “Y/N I can honestly tell you that I didn’t see it coming. If I did I would have told you I wouldn’t have let you… I wouldn’t have let him!...” Jake is clearly flustered at this point. “I wouldn’t have let it get that far if I thought it would hurt you.” It’s hard to know how to respond to him when he gets like this, equally caring and alpha male, so I think carefully before speaking. “Jake you won’t always be able to tell what’s going to hurt me… no one can. People get hurt in life sometimes there’s nothing you can do about that.” Wrong answer. Jake’s brow furrows. “But I should have been able to protect you! It’s different.” I shake my head. “Jake you can’t be perfect all the time… I know you’re different, and that's special! But… that doesn’t mean that bad things will never happen. A bad thing happened to me, Jake. A lot of them actually. But… now I’m back home. I might not have my job but I have my degree, I’ve got no apartment but I’m not paying rent, and I don’t have a lying husband… but I have a true friend.” There’s a good half-minute of breathy silence “Wow,” Jake finally breaks it, “not a dry eye on the rock.” I smile “Haha Jake.” He turns my chin towards him so we’re making eye contact again “I know you missed my dry humor.” he says with a grin. And then we’re kissing. I don’t know who kissed who or how this started. But he’s kissing me and I’m kissing him. I don’t know how much time passes with my arms around his neck and for the first time since I left Forks, I don’t care that I don’t have the answers to everything anymore. Eventually, he draws away, but not too far away, and asks “friend?” I grin at him and answer “maybe not”

We spend the night talking and curled up in his bed, the same big wooly comforter as when I left. We talk and we talk and we kiss again and eventually, we do more than kiss. If I was talking to one of my friends I would seriously chastise her for sleeping with her high school ex-boyfriend the first night she sees him again but with Jake, it’s just so different. He isn’t my high school it’s just him and me and everything is exactly like it’s supposed to be. It’s almost six in the morning. His face is lit by the rising sun and I’m laying on his chest. “Jacob” I state. “What” he cocks his eyebrow and wraps his arms tighter around me. “I think I’ve fallen back in love with you.”

Ahh!

So I started writing this in August and obviously college and life hit and I didn’t really forget about it but I just never felt like I had time or motivation to finish it. Then Rona. I hope you all are safe and able to take care of yourself. I’ll fix grammatical stuff as I catch it but please continue to requests and double requests because I will get them done eventually even if I disappear.

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amarynceus · 5 years

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State of the Artist - September 2019

Hello all. It’s been a while since I did one of these.

Sorry for the lapse in communication; BronyCon drained me more than I realised, on top of fighting the general burnout and anxiety and minor depressive episodes I’ve had for some time. I’m just coming out of one that ate the last week and a half or so (I managed to destroy a client's watercolour painting right as it was on the verge of completion) and am trying to get back on track. I haven’t had energy for being online or interacting with people; about the only site I’ve been active on is Twitter, and only sporadically. My apologies to those who have sent me messages lately; chances are I haven’t even seen them yet. I’ll do my best to catch up on correspondence as soon as I can.

Now, a few items.

BronyCon Commissions

First of all, if you commissioned me at BronyCon but haven’t yet sent me your mailing address, please do so! I still have no place to send a half dozen or so of these commissions, and no way of contacting anyone. If you’ve lost the business card I gave you when you commissioned me, please email me at [email protected] with your mailing address and a brief description of what you commissioned so I can match it with my notes from the convention.

My apologies for the delays on these. I took too many (3 dozen!) and severely underestimated the time it would take me to complete them all, and am still only halfway through the list. I’ve also had multiple interruptions and delays that have severely damaged my creative output for the last several weeks. I’m back at work now, though, and will complete and send out commissions as soon as possible. I still have 17 traditional comms to complete from BC, including all the inks and colours. Thank you all for your patience. A dozen or so have been mailed out, and I plan to have the rest of them completed within the next two weeks.

(I know that’s what I said a month ago when I took the commissions in the first place! Con crud and general exhaustion took a greater toll than anticipated, quite apart from other life interruptions.)

BronyCon in Retrospect

BronyCon was quite the experience. Way too many people for me, but it was really great to see so many wonderful horse people, and to see so many of my beautiful trans siblings out and proud. <3 I wish I had had more energy to do and see things outside of the vendor’s hall, but four days of vending took basically all of my energy. It was amazing to get to hang out with so many friends I've made online; that was by far the best part. I didn't get to spend near enough time with any of you, but I'm thankful for the time I had.

Thanks again to all those who dropped by my booth at BronyCon to say hi or to buy my art. It was quite the experience, and great to meet many fans in person.

That said, it was extremely exhausting. 11,000 people was a bit much for me, especially having only done one convention before. I'm glad all the conventions I'm thinking of applying to vend at next year are much smaller affairs.

Patreon Paused

My Patreon continues to be on hiatus until I’ve caught up more on my past-due rewards. It will be paused through October and possibly November. Please note that I have ‘Charge Up Front’ enabled, so I’d suggest those interested in supporting my Patreon campaign sign on at the $1 tier for now, even if you’re eyeing a higher tier.

If you want to donate to support me during the hiatus, my PayPal is via [email protected].

General Commission Notes

I am very close to completing my current queue of in-progress works. Once I do so, I’ll be going on holiday to recharge. I’ve been running on empty for far too long.

I’ll be taking on new commissions once I’m completely caught up on the art I owe people, and not before.

Burnout and Depression

As I’ve mentioned, I’ve been struggling with these. This year has been difficult for me; I’ve been struggling with a lot of health issues, physical and mental, and it’s been extremely difficult to get any artwork done, either for others or myself. Indeed, I’ve hardly been drawing for myself at all since the end of the 1000 Days of Doodles. When I can manage to force myself to be productive, I’m compelled to work on my long-overdue commissions; I feel too guilty and anxious to work on my own projects most of the time. This is most likely only further contributing to my general malaise with art.

I had a lot of plans and ambitions for this year. By this point I was supposed to have created an artbook of the 1000 Days of Doodles project, be four months past the launch my long-delayed comic, caught up with all my patron rewards and gift art, completed all my commissions, and have finished two dozen more paintings that have been bubbling around for a while.

I have managed to do exactly zero of these things, and I’m not at all happy about it. After completing almost 550 individual artworks in 2018, I expected, once I had rested and recovered, to be able to turn that kind of energy and productivity on other things. That has not happened, and it has been disheartening and disappointing, to say the least. I’ve basically been feeling like a total failure and imposter, flawed and fake and worthless. (I know this isn’t true.)

Of course, one problem is that I never rested and recovered. I gave myself a little time at the start of the year, but I tried to force myself back to work too soon, and have been paying the price ever since. I kept telling myself, 'I’m just a bit tired, another week and I’ll feel fine,' week after week after week - it’s only lately that I’ve had to admit that I’ve actually been fighting burnout. If I had taken an extra month at the beginning of the year, perhaps I could have averted this; that’s just idle speculation, though.

Anyway, I could go on and on, but I have to deal with things the way they are. I’ll keep chipping away at the work and dig myself out of this hole. Thank you for your patience. I'll get everything done as soon as I can.

Cheers and take care of yourselves. Burnout stinks.

- AZ / Amar

Again, if you haven’t sent me your mailing address for your BronyCon commission, please send it and a description of your piece to [email protected].

#update #state of the artist #september #azrambles #burnout #anxiety #depression #commissions

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mobianflame · 4 years

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Twin siblings, 32, 'found dead in joint suicide' were My Large Fat Gypsy Wedding ceremony stars - Mirror Online

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Paired bros found dead with each other in a suspected dual suicide have been named as superstars of My Major Fat Gypsy Wedding Celebration.

The physical bodies of the 32-year-old siblings, named locally as Bill as well as Joe Smith, a dad-of-two, were found in forest in a segregated country street in Sevenoaks, Kent, merely times after Christmas.

Heartbroken household, pals and members of the UK's journeying area have commemorated the siblings, along with one composing on Facebook: "The love they ate one yet another. They couldt online along with out each other." [sic]

An additional created: "They both took their own lifestyles. Hard times is swarming one of our folki."

A third included: "Born together and left behind the earth with each other.

Have you been actually influenced through the accident? Email [email protected].

"Male anxiety actually is actually as solid as some other and also it needs to be made as informed as any kind of other and they must seem like they can talk up like any kind of other individual the monsters gained these lovely life's." [sic]

Describing the tributes, member of the family Phoebe Charleen Smith informed Looking glass Online: "My cousins were loved all over the planet, as you can easily find."

Billy's partner, Kristina Davey, from Cheltenham, Gloucestershire, wrote on social networks: "Hardest day of my life. SLIT my ideal Bill, you were thus natural so lovely.

"You produced me the happiest woman - performed every little thing for me, revealed me like I never had. You always view things like this yet you merely never think it'll occur to you.

"I can not feel I must kind this with each other battling to speak don't bother placed a sentence with each other. I am actually gon na make you therefore glad my Costs, my life, my angel."

Good friend Jane Chippendale claimed Expense and also Joe, the father of a young son as well as little girl, functioned for their uncle's landscape design company and also had actually lately stayed at her house in Tunbridge Wells for almost pair of months after earlier staying in Weald.

She final observed all of them a month back when they left, telling her they were mosting likely to reside at an aunt's property, quickly after they returned coming from a trip to Thailand.

Mrs Chippendale pointed out by means of tears: "I'm still in surprise. It doesn't create feeling. Their garments are putting up in my restroom.

"They felt like boys when they were right here.

"They were so identical.

It was challenging to tell all of them apart." They inquired if they can come sphere at Christmas, yet I hadn't listened to anything coming from all of them."

The Johnson siblings wound up remaining at her home considering that a regional B&B was actually full.

She said to Looking glass Online: I have a cancer medical diagnosis. They delivered me an information saying 'keep good, you're heading to outlast each one of this'.

"The kids installed a fencing for me at the spine. They offered me cards for my special day.

"Our company obtained close thus rapidly. They were actually therefore sweet.

Top headlines stories coming from Mirror Online

"I may still see them grinning in front of me."

She pointed out there were actually no signs that just about anything such as this would occur.

Paddy Doherty, the Famous personality Big Bro winner and My Huge Fat Gypsy Wedding event star, inquired his enthusiasts to wish the Smith twins' loved ones, including their moms and dads and grandma.

He claimed in a Facebook video recording: "Pair of excellent appearing kids, God bless themselves.

"That's an awful disaster. Hope for the young boys' family members.

"I'm incredibly, incredibly unhappy for your problems.

"May The lord commiserate as well as The lord care for all of them."

At a wedding ceremony pair of weeks ago the siblings videotaped an online video as they performed and danced to Mariah Carey's All I Really wanted for Xmas Is You.

A Facebook consumer composed: "No one has TOMORROW this was actually videod lower than 2 full weeks ago there they had plenty of life as well as currently there gone. TOMORROW isn't promised for none people remainder in tranquility lads." [sic]

Both included in the 3rd set of My Major Fat Gypsy Wedding ceremony, which described them as Romani gypsies, when they were 24 as well as operating as garden enthusiasts.

An incident observed all of them throughout a shift in Kent, in the house where they covered the traveller way of living as well as marriage, and during a holiday in Tenerife prior to they were actually expected to settle and also begin loved ones.

The identical twins' physical bodies were actually discovered close to a ranch on the outskirts of Sevenoaks at approximately 11.30 get on Sunday.

It is mentioned that their family had recently expressed problem for their welfare.

Kent Police claimed the deaths are not presently being dealt with as suspicious and a coroner will certainly calculate the cause.

Post-mortems result from happen as well as an inquest is actually likely to be composed the brand new year.

Friends and family said to of their heartbreak in tributes published on Facebook.

One created: "Rest in calmness expense as well as joe this globes therefore heartless as well as in some cases the demons in your head receive the much better the lord labels you an angel way to very soon.

"Twin siblings discovered together god make this area a less complicated lifestyle for the broken hearted #suicideawareneness #malementalhealthisreal." [sic]

A spokeswoman said to Looking glass Online: "Kent Authorities was called at 11.34 get on Sunday after the body systems of pair of males were discovered in Dibden Lane, Sevenoaks.

"Queries into the situations encompassing the deaths are ongoing yet they are actually certainly not currently being treated as apprehensive.

"The near relative of each guys realize as well as being always kept improved."

Samaritans (116 123) works a 24-hour company on call everyday of the year. If you prefer to document exactly how you're experiencing, or even if you are actually stressed over being heard on the phone, you may email Samaritans at [email protected].

Childline (0800 1111) manages a helpline for youngsters and young folks in the UK. Phone calls are free of charge and the amount will not present up on your phone bill.

This content was originally published here.

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unfortunatescn · 5 years

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SOMETIMES SUFFERING IS JUST SUFFERING. IT DOESN’T MAKE YOU STRONGER. trigger warning: death, car accident, child death, hospitals.

You have reached the voice-mail box of Dr. Rowan Fisher. I can’t come to the phone right now, but leave a brief message with your name and number and I’ll get back to you. If this is an emergency, hang up and dial 911.

He barely hears the beep over the ringing in his ears.

“Hey, baby.” His voice is shaking. She’s going to know something’s wrong. How is it that he can’t seem to push past a monotone voice and stoic demeanor with others, but even leaving Rowan a voice-mail sends him into a spiral? “I --” Spit it out. “She’s -- Fuck, I don’t even know, but it’s bad,” Another pause comes with it, his attempts to remain calm becoming more and more evident with each second. “I -- Fuck, I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.” Another pause. “It’s Sylvia, Ro.”

He had settled into a new routine, one that has a familiarity he hadn’t realized how badly he missed until it was back in his hands. In the time he spent locked away, Andy found himself, more often than not, laying awake at night picturing the different places his life had gone -- From being a carefree child, to forcibly growing up and joining the family business, from drinking his way through his early twenties with a bloodied baseball bat in hand, to finally see Rowan walk down the aisle. The house they bought together. The child they should be raising together. The life they could be living, one where he’s not hauled away in a pair of handcuffs as his mother holds his wife.

It all comes back to her, he’s learned. It all comes back to Rowan Fisher, the image of her laying next to him as the sun pushes through the bedroom curtains and illuminates her; The light catching her green eyes, dimples showing when she gives him a smile and a sleepy hello handsome. He spent years reminding himself of moments like these, the thought of having her back in his life serving as a motivation for him more often than not. And now that he has this routine back? His hands card through her hair each morning as they greet one another, tangled limbs and tired eyes mumbling sweet nothings to each other, Andy realizes just how badly he missed this. He’d thought about it, longed for her, ached to return to who they were before he through a wrench in their lives -- But now that he has her back, he’s almost terrified to leave her side. Part of his brain tells him if he slips away for too long, he’ll come back to an empty bed and reality settling in, a worst case scenario happy to pull him from the daze they’ve lived in for the last month.

Andy knew better than to get comfortable, but he does it anyway. Consistency isn’t a common factor in this life, if the last thirty-seven years haven’t been enough proof. But he lets himself settle back into this life, lets himself enjoy tucking himself away in her home with her. He cooks, they laugh, he and Rowan share her bed each night. She clears a drawer for his clothes. It’s almost disgustingly domestic, down to the them washing each other’s hair in the shower, holding her close as they lay in bed as she watches Golden Girl’s reruns and he reads. They’re together again, for lack of a better word -- Not necessarily ‘dating’, but still not married, either. They’re floating somewhere between that, with both of them setting ground rules for each other. He’s happy to oblige, having no qualms with working for his relationship with her.

He gets lost in it, like a deer caught in the headlights -- He ignores the warnings his instincts bring, knowing Kane and the Trojans won’t remain dormant for long. It’s naive to think that the rumors of federal agents snooping around are just small town gossip, and he knows it’s only a matter of time before he meets one directly, surely to be hauled away to the Sheriff’s station. It’s not lost on Andy that he’s roughly one parking ticket away from a life sentence in prison, he knows this -- Maybe subconsciously it’s why he’s so quick to fall back into an old routine, to tuck himself away in his little corner with the love of his life; Because at least then he can enjoy his time with her, and attempt to keep his head afloat at the same time.

The tidal wave that hits isn’t in the form of a federal agent, or an act of violence on the MCs word -- It’s something as simple as a call from a phone number he doesn’t recognize, one he doesn’t pick up on at their first attempt to reach him.

----------------------------------------------

Sylvia Warren came into Andy’s life sometime after his twenty fourth birthday. The moment he sees her, he can tell they share a mother -- The darkness of her hair, the curve of her jaw. They even hold themselves in the same way, but in her case, her eyes give away what she’s thinking. She looks just like their mother, and he wants to hate her for it.

He only learns he has a sister when he finds his mother, after Rowan insists on him reaching out to contact her. Andy knows she had noble intentions, that they could have never anticipated what came next. He always assumed the fire in his bones came from his unnamed biological father, but the second he sits across from Delphine Warren at a table in some shitty diner outside of Kansas City -- He learns it’s all his mother. She’s apprehensive from the moment they met eyes, something twists in his stomach when he realizes how alike they seem to be, both physically and mentally. She’s smaller than him, doesn’t make eye contact for the first few minutes, the two staring in silence before she breaks it with words he’ll never forget. I never wanted to be a mother. She plies him with a sob story, of how her life had been turned upside down at the age of sixteen because of him, that she wanted to try for him but proved she couldn’t handle it. Five months,she tells him. That’s how long she spent with him. Long enough to give him a name -- He learns his middle name, William, is his father’s name; Long enough to hold him close and whisper promises while she soothes him, telling him they’ll have a better life someday, that they’ll make it through this.

That never comes, and she leaves him on the fire station door step in the middle of Spring. She tries to justify herself, that she was a child and was afraid, that he just wouldn’t stop crying, and she was losing her mind. It’s confusing, to see the woman he’d spent his entire life picture, the woman who he’d searched for with his actual mother’s help, turn out to have not wanted him. She blamed him for her shortcomings, and he couldn’t stop himself in that moment from asking if she did now, too. Delphine never answers. He leaves without looking back.

He meets Sylvia a year later. She finds him, showing up at his door one afternoon. They’re not home when she arrives, but she settles herself on the porch until Andy parks his bike in the driveway, hand instinctively reaching for the gun in the waistband of his pants. She’s barely nineteen years old, terrified and unsure. Is your name Andrew? Turns out Delphine didn’t resent him enough to give up, enough to bring Sylvia along for the ride just to leave her in the same manor. Only this time around, his biological mother makes it five years rather than five months, before she leaves her daughter at the daycare, and never returns to pick her up.

They talk. For hours. She tells her story from the beginning, and he does the same -- She tells him about the different foster family’s she’s lived with, he talks about Rhea and Cronus. There’s no stone unturned, no topic off limits (though he’s careful to spare her a few specifics), leaving the two realizing they have more in common than just their shitty mother. Sylvia remains in his life from that moment, something sacred and held dear to his heart. There’s roughly three people who know she exists at all -- Rowan, Rhea, and Oliver. The former being the only one with more detail, one of the only people to have actually met the person in question. He keeps her a secret from the rest of his family, knowing it’s better for her to remain entirely unattached to the club, to the Thane family name. She doesn’t deserve to be pulled into his world without a choice, and he’s far too terrified of Cronus learning about who she is to even breathe her name outside of pillow talk with Rowan.

They keep in touch after that day, but rarely see one another. Whenever he passes through Dallas, Andy makes sure to stop in and say hello, offering a helping hand whenever she needs it. Whenever she drives through New Orleans they meet up, usually in some hole in the wall diner where they can talk for hours without the stares of disgruntled waitresses. They learn just how alike they are, that they both endured unstable homes as children, that they struggle to say the right thing in the right moment. She laughs, telling him she’s only heard about motorcycles gangs on TV, though. You have me beat with that one. She sends him postcards for each holiday, and he begins to do just the same. They call one another once a month or so, chatting about their lives, bitching about friends and family, whoever she’s dating.

She stays, even after he’s changed into an orange jumpsuit, and their phones calls open with An inmate from the Louisiana State Penitentiary is attempting to contact you. She visits him, on obscure holidays like the Indepence Day or National Pancake day, finding herself endlessly entertained by the confused expression he gives her during the first year. He tells her about Rowan, the divorce, finding it easier to talk to someone who’s never stepped foot in the clubhouse or knows his father. She does the same. She doesn’t go very long between visits, until seven months pass and he’s only heard from her by mail. There’s an explanation that comes, though -- And he’s three month old baby named Benjamin. Andy cries the first time he meets him, hands shaking as thinks of his own loss. It’s the one thing he could never bring himself to tell Sylvia about, other than a short, clipped explanation.

She never pushes it. Instead, she waves Benny’s hand as the child laughs, introducing him to Uncle Andy.

----------------------------------------------

He picks up on the fourth call, when he returns from dealing with some jackass with a souped up sports car. He hasn’t had a lunch break or a cigarette all day, and his patience wears even thinner at the sight of four missed calls and two voicemails from the same unknown number. He’s still figuring out how to use the iPhone Rowan made him get -- It was the last of her ground rules, said with a laugh and wink -- but it tells him the call is from Dallas, Texas and it’s enough to make his heart sink. The messages are played to deaf ears, a ringing in his ears beginning as soon it begins to play.

Hi Mr. Thane, this is Debbie from Dallas Regional Medical. Your sister, Sylvia Warren, has been in an accident. She’s in critical condition, and is in her surgery right now. You are listed as her next of kin ---

He doesn’t hear much past that, his heart beginning to slam against his chest as he pulls the phone from his ear, slumping into the nearest chair. His thoughts go to Rowan, first -- To the shoot out, to her in surgery as he shakily fills out forms before he finally cracks. He thought he’d never have to feel this kind of heartache again, never have to go down that road after that day. Things have come together, he thought. His life had managed to find some sort of order in spite of the chaos around them -- He knew better than to believe something like that could last, to let himself become comfortable. His father’s voice rings in the back of his mind, reminding him how childish he can be.

A string of curses fall past his lips as he jumped to his feet again, other club members around him share confused looks. Andy doesn’t bother to explain himself, thoughts of the cars he’s supposed to work on or the date he and Rowan had set up for tonight are replaced by the need to figure out what happened to Sylvia. His body moves before he registers where he’s going -- He thankfully remembers his wallet, mumbling a string of curses and pleas to whatever God is up there that she doesn’t die, that part of his family isn’t torn from him.

He’s on a flight to Dallas within the hour, not bothering to stop at the house to pack his clothes or let anyone in on what’s going on. Tunnel vision takes over, landing him at the Dallas airport in the late hours of the night. He doesn’t know this city, doesn’t know what he’s walking into. It’s all a blur, rushing from one place to another in an attempt to reach his destination, to get the answers he needs.

The adrenaline wears off the second he enters the hospital, feeling his shoulders tense up and his jaw clench. Memories of only a few weeks prior find him, stopping him in the middle of the waiting room -- He can see it now, him sitting in the chair next to his mother. Addison Fisher hastily shoving a clipboard of papers to fill out, Rhea’s steady arm around his shoulder, the other attempting to steady his hand. It’s almost like it’s happening in front of him, a scene from a movie replaying across a screen. The shoot out, her blood on his shirt, his hand never leaving hers. The feeling as though someone cut him open and left him for dead. Andy reminds himself of what happened after that, after the tears and the fear -- The sight of her in a hospital bed, hooked up to wires and IVs, her raspy voice saying Hi, handsome. It wasn’t the end for her. It doesn’t have to be the end for Sylvia, either.

“Sir?” A voice pulls him from the memory, eyes blinking and suddenly he’s standing in front of a nurses station, a confused man in scrubs looking at him. “Sir, are you alright?” Andy can’t bring himself to speak at first, caught in a strange daze that leaves him feeling like he’s screaming underwater, his lungs burning.

And then -- He comes up for air, as if someone hit play and everything around him returns to it’s regular pace. “Sylvia.” He says her name with surprising firmness, clarity. “I’m looking for Sylvia Warren’s room. My name is Andrew Thane, I’m her next of kin.” He doesn’t know where the sudden steadiness that finds him came from, but he doesn’t stop it -- It’s welcomed, despite the turmoil brewing in him, worst case scenarios filling his head. He can’t bring himself to ask about Benny, either. “I received a call this morning that she was in surgery.”

He doesn’t know how any of this works, but he notes the way the nurse in front of him twitches. He’s never understood the medical jargon -- That’s Rowan’s territory -- But he knows the importance of body language, and the way the man in front of him moves tells him everything he needs to know. The shift of weight from one foot to the other, the quirk of his eyebrows, the way he tenses at the name Sylvia Warren. She isn’t going to see the other side of this, Andy realizes. She doesn’t get the same result Rowan does, he won’t greet her sitting in a hospital bed, tethered to IVs and an oxygen tank, ready to make a clever quip about him being there. He can hear her voice now, see the smirk at her lips when she tells him You Thane’s don’t fuck around with family, huh?

The nurse speaks to him, tip toeing around answering him until someone in bloodied scrubs, with a surgical mask around their neck approaches him. She’s a tiny thing, barely over five foot, but she’s a doctor here, her white coat covering most of the blood stains as she reaches for his arm. “Mr. Thane, let’s take a seat.”

There’s a ringing in his ears, he fiddles with his thumbs as she speaks, his leg bouncing against the worn carpet of the waiting room. She was in a car wreck, hit on the driver’s side. Her son was in the car with her. She was barely alive when she got to the hospital, having lost consciousness multiple times while in the ambulance. Benny was in the car. They performed emergency surgery, it lasted eleven hours. They tried to contact him, but didn’t get any answers. Her son was, miraculously, not injured critically. They want to keep him overnight for observation, to monitor the stitches on his belly, the bruise on his forehead. Her son is alive, but Sylvia was not as lucky. She has given specific instructions for what should happen to her son if she die -- That he would be taken in by his godfather, her next of kin.

He has a feeling he’s going to throw up.

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They take him to Benny’s room after the doctor gives him an explanation of what has happened, what’s to come, where this puts him. He barely hears it, only catching what’s important. He’ll have to sign legal documents stating that he will be Benny’s legal guardian, that CPS will be there soon to explain further. This happens as they walked to his room -- It’s the third floor and the seventh door on the left. He doesn’t know why that piece of information sticks the most.

The sight of him, barely fucking ten months old and sound asleep in the hospital sanction crib eases the weight on his shoulders -- Until he sees the bruise forming on him, the small oxygen wire under his tiny nose. It knocks the wind out of him, causing a physical reaction as he takes a step backward, panic settling over him as reality kicks in. He almost looks serene, peaceful despite the chaos that’s happened around him. Benny has no idea that he’s just lost his mother, that he’s in a hospital. He has no idea what’s going on around them, and it almost makes Andy feel worse.

Sylvia is dead. Benny is alive.

She wants Andy to be the one to raise him, now that she can’t.

He wonders if she was out of her fucking mind.

The doctor leaves him, with a muffled ‘I’ll give you a moment’ as her goodbye. He finds himself backing up until he reaches the wall of the hospital room, sinking slowly to the ground as he tries to grasp the strange left turn this has all been. Andrew Thane has endured loss, has made it an old friend of his. From the loss of his daughter to the loss of his freedom -- And now, the loss of his biological sister. This is nothing new to him, but it doesn’t dull the sting, the way loss carves a part of his chest out and takes it away. Piece of him is gone each time, and this time, it’s in the form of someone who should have been safe from his losing streak, who should have been far enough away that she didn’t witness the horrors that came into his life. Sylvia was supposed to be an exception to the rule, a loophole, someone who was so carefully guarded from Cronus, the club, the nightmare inducing parts of her brother’s life.

Maddie comes to mind. He doesn’t want her to, not in this awful, bone crushing moment -- But she does, the thought of how differently this would all look with her in the picture. He thinks of himself being in Sylvia’s position, of Maddie sleeping in a hospital bed with IVs and an oxygen tube, of Rowan by her side, pushing hair from her forehead and telling her Everything’s okay, baby. He doesn’t want to think of her, not now. It feels like insult to injury, cruel of her memory to find him in moments like these -- When can barely stand on two feet, reminding him of what knocked him back and has kept him unsteady for the last seven and a half years. A picture of the delivery room follows, of his hand holding Rowan’s as she squeezes the dear life out of his. The excitement and terror of it all, anticipating the moment their daughter will arrive -- Just one more push, Rowan. You’re doing great, one more push. The silence that comes after. The way death comes over them like a wave, taking the one shining light with it, dropping them into a fog of despair. He can hear Rowan’s sobs against his chest, the sound of her muffled voice against the fabric of his shirt, pleading for this to be a lie, some cruel joke the doctor is playing on them. Please, God, anyone but her. Not her. Not her. Not her. He doesn’t want to think of that moment, of the way his life took a one-eighty after -- But he does. It always comes back to her.

He does the only thing he can think of, the one thing that will distract him from focusing on the beep of Benny’s heart monitor, from letting himself drown in the thought of his own loss.

She doesn’t answer. He doesn’t blame her.

He barely hears the beep over the ringing in his ears.

“She’s dead, and her kid -- Benny, he’s -- He’s okay. He’s -- I’m in Dallas, by the way -- They’ve got him on one of those oxygen tubes, they want to keep him here overnight to watch him, but --” This is all so fucking surreal. “Fuck, have you ever seen a kid hooked up to those IVs? A baby? Christsake, it’s -- He’s just so… small.” He pauses again, a choked laugh pushing past his lips. He’s surprised it’s not a sob. “She wants me to take him. She has it documented, somewhere, fuck if I know -- He’s supposed to be taken in by his next of kin. That’s me, baby.”

What else is he supposed to say? How’s your day been, baby? Sorry, I won’t be able to make our dinner reservation. Raincheck?

Another beat, he takes a moment to focus on his breathing. “I can’t do this alone, baby.” He finally lets out, his eyes falling shut, free hand moving to rub his eyes and prevent him from letting tears spill over. “I need you. I need you, and I -- Fuck, I don’t know what to do. I’m sorry. I love you. Call me back.”

#lomkchardev #literally 4k words later and i can FINALLY SHARE THIS FUCKING PLOT WITH ALL OF YOU #DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT'S BEEN TO KEEP THIS A SECRET???#FOUR MONTHS BITCHES. FOUR MONTHS I'VE WAITED TO HAVE THIS MOMENT.#AND #NOW #WE'RE #FUCKING #HERE.#lets GO #hospital tw #death tw #child death tw #car accident tw #surgery tw #024.

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eddieeatsass · 5 years

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Stripped Bare - Chapter 1

Summary: Eddie gets an offer from his company to work in Barbados over the summer. Beautiful weather, all expenses paid trip, and a stay in a suite at one of the most highly rated resorts in the world. How could he say no? Unfortunately, Eddie soon realizes there were a lot of reasons to say no. His skin doesn't take kindly to the harsh sun, his suite ends up being the size of a shoe box, and, oh yeah, it's also a nudist resort. Pairing: Reddie (side Benverly and Stanlonbrough) Rating: E Warnings: Eventual smut, explicit language

Read on AO3

Dear Eddie Kaspbrak,

Having you work for us at our Portland location for the past five years has been an enriching experience. As sad as we would be to see you go, we must ask if you would be interested in working over the summer at our Barbados location, as it appears we will be short staffed. Your entire trip would be covered, as well as your stay in one of our suites for the duration of your work period. If you’re interested, please let us know as soon as possible.

Included is a PDF file with the additional information about our Barbados location.

- Wise Resort and Spa

Eddie reread the e-mail three times as he rubbed sleep out of his bleary eyes. Checking his e-mail first thing in the morning was a habit that didn’t result in the best retention. His brain struggled to put together what he’d just read in layman’s terms, AKA, early morning terms. His company wanted him to work in Barbados… and they were going to pay for it? There had to be a catch, but in his current state it seemed like the universe had finally taken pity on him. A vacation in Barbados was exactly what he needed to cut through the boring routine that had become his life. Granted, he’d be working the whole time, but he’d be doing the same thing if he stayed in Portland so why not do it wrapped in the warmth of the Caribbean sun instead? Without over thinking it, as Eddie is prone to doing, he shot off a confirmation e-mail and chucked his phone back on to the pillow next to him, burying himself deeper in his comforters to daydream of new desires.

The flight was god awful. Eddie ended up squished between a woman with a screaming baby, and an older man who needed to squeeze by Eddie to go to the bathroom every 10 minutes. Eddie was just starting to question if taking this job had even been worth it when he chanced a glance out the window. Past the thin haze of clouds was an expanse of the bluest water he’d ever seen, glittering as the sun cast down on it. It was like a completely different world from Portland, and a completely different planet from the small town he’d grown up in. It felt like a physical disconnect from the life he’d lived up until now.

The flight attendant’s voice crackled out of the speakers announcing their beginning decline to the ground. As if everyone around him had synced up to his newfound feeling of freedom, the baby beside him finally settled down, and the man on his other side controlled his bladder for the remainder of the flight. Twenty minutes later and they were touching down.

The entrance to the resort was eerily similar to what Eddie had ingrained in his brain alongside a feeling of dread, only the backdrop was entirely different. Bright green palm leaves shook in the wind, rustling the trunks they sat upon with dangerous vigor. The sun was already beating down against Eddie’s skin relentlessly, but it also shone out from behind the giant sign announcing the resort’s name. It was oddly beautiful, something so familiar yet so new. It was an invigorating feeling.

Eddie walked into the main building with a bit of a pep in his step, confident enough as he strode up to the front counter and greeted the friendly face behind it.

“Hi, uh, I’m supposed to start working here this week? I’m the transfer from Portland.”

The man behind the counter smiled wide, a friendly grin that revealed rows of perfect white teeth nestled between full lips and dimpled cheeks. All that combined with smooth dark skin and defined muscles nearly had Eddie swooning before he could respond to the guy’s next comment.

“Eddie! We’ve been excited for you to arrive. I’m Mike Hanlon, I’m your supervisor.” he extended a hand towards Eddie. Mike’s hand completely engulfed Eddie’s own and he’d be lying if he said it didn’t send a little jolt down his spine.

“I’m a bit busy right now,” Mike continued, clearly not having noticed Eddie’s flush. “But Bill over here can show you around.”

Mike clapped a hand on the shoulder of another form, a body that Eddie had somehow completely missed during the greeting. He had his back turned and was busying himself with something behind the counter, but at the mention of his name, he gave Mike his full attention.

The man was cute. Like, next door neighbor crush cute. Was Eddie going to fall for every semi good looking employee at this resort? So far it was two for two, so the odds weren’t in his favor (or were, depending how you look at it).

Cute neighbor boy, Bill, Eddie corrects himself, stepped out from behind the desk and slung his arm around Eddie, completely bypassing the courteous approach Mike had taken.

“Alright fresh meat, let’s get you acquainted.”

Bill was tall, and Eddie struggled a bit to keep up with his pace and pull his suitcases behind him at the same time. When Bill noticed, he removed his arm from around Eddie’s shoulders in favor of picking up both suitcases and carrying them along as if they weighed nothing. Eddie wanted to be embarrassed about the difference in strength, but Bill gave him no time, already back to rambling on about the do’s and don’ts of the job. Eddie realizes he should be listening, knows he’s probably missing out on important information, but watching the way the muscles in Bill’s back tensed up as he walked was much more favorable.

When he’d finally finished ogling his new co-worker, they’d arrived in front of a small wooden door.

“37B.” Eddie reads aloud.

Bill nods, putting down one of Eddie’s suitcases so he can fish a card out of his pocket. He swipes it through the lock on the door and a little green light announces their permission to enter. Pushing open the door with his shoulder as he grabs Eddie’s suitcase once again, Bill welcomes Eddie to his room.

“So, this is where you’ll be staying for the next three months.”

Eddie takes in the room around him. It’s tinier than he’d expected, definitely not the ‘suite’ he’d been promised, but it was cozy. There was a small bed pressed up against the nearest wall and sliding glass doors that opened up into the courtyard. A small dresser and closet decorated the room, with not much else to show for. The adjoining bathroom held a shower bath and a toilet close enough to the sink that you could shit and wash your hands at the same time. Quaint, Eddie thought.

“This is the employee floor, so you won’t run into any guests while you’re down here. My room is just down the hall.” Bill supplied.

“Oh, are you also a transfer from out of town?” Eddie asked curiously.

“Nah, I just like staying here. I work such early shifts it’s easier than making the commute every morning, so boss man lets me stay here when there’s empty rooms, which there almost always are.”

The words from the e-mail ring back in Eddie’s mind. Short staffed, they’d said. The resort seemed pretty busy when he got here, so why would they have a problem with employing people? Unless the management was terrible. Oh no, what if the management was terrible? What if Eddie was stuck working with horrible people for the duration of the summer? He should have taken more time before responding to the e-mail, should have done more research, should have read reviews and called around and-

“Wanna head down to the pool deck?” Bill interrupted Eddie’s snowballing thoughts.

“Sure.” Eddie managed, giving Bill a tight-lipped smile as he tried to swallow down his anxiety.

They left Eddie’s suitcases in his room and made their way down to the deck. Bill finally mentioned what his job was, he was the lifeguard, meaning him and Eddie would be working the same area. Eddie was relieved to hear that he’d at least know someone on his first day.

That relief left his body the second they stepped out on to the deck.

Penis. That’s a penis. That’s definitely, undoubtedly, a penis.

“Dude,” Bill nudges Eddie’s shoulder. “Rule number one, don’t stare.”

Eddie tries to avert his attention but lands on a pair of breasts. He averts it again, this time it’s lean tan muscles leading down to, yep, another penis. Another penis by the bar, a pair of breasts climbing up the pool later, an ass bending over to- Nope. Nope nope nope. Eddie squeezed his eyes shut as panic began taking over his body. What was going on?

A warm hand circled around Eddie’s bicep and turned him around, guiding him for a few steps until the temperature changed around him and noise became distant.

“Uh, you can open your eyes now.” Bill’s voice says, confusion evident but no judgement present.

Eddie only dares to peek one eye open, keeps it squinted in case he needs to shut the world out again. But all he sees is the ugly upholstery he’s used to seeing every day, green and brown leaf print that covers the majority of the furniture in the lobbies of The Wise. So, he eases his other eye open, glances around him in an attempt to re-orient himself, and then settles his gaze back on Bill.

Bill is sporting a subtle smirk he’s clearly trying to fight down, but there’s also distinct worry in his eyes.

“Well that’s the most dramatic reaction I’ve witnessed so far, sure you have the stomach for this job?”

Eddie’s brain short circuits.

“What job!?” Eddie squeaks.

All the humor is gone from Bill’s face now.

“Um, are you serious dude? This is a nudist resort. You knew that… right?” The hope laced in Bill’s question leaves Eddie’s heart hurting.

No. He didn’t know that. How was he supposed to know that! Isn’t that the kind of information you tell someone before offering them a-

Eddie can almost feel the ground disappear beneath him when he realizes it.

The PDF file.

He never read it.

The “additional information” Eddie decided to forgo reading. Because how different could one resort be from the next? Apparently, very.

Eddie had been silent long enough that Bill flagged down Mike from across the room. A soothing voice was coaxing Eddie back into this plane of existence, and once he was finally able to clue into some of the words being said he also felt a hand settled low on his back.

“-ecause if you need us to call someone or-”

“What?” Eddie interrupted Mike a bit too bluntly, watching Mike reel in relation to his tone.

“Sorry, I… What were you asking?” He recovered.

“You seemed a little zoned out there, I was just checking if you needed anything, or wanted us to call someone for you?”

Eddie blinked dumbly. He wanted to… help? Eddie’s old supervisor would have been yelling by this point. Eddie’s had enough panic attacks on the job to expect the worst once he pulls himself out of them. But Mike seemed to be genuine, and Bill was still wearing that worried expression he’d held previously.

“No, no, I’m fine.” Eddie nodded a bit too eagerly.

“Okay, if you’re sure… Well, hey, while I have you here, I have a bit of a favor to ask you.”

Bill’s ears seemed to also perk up at this, all attention on Mike.

“You wouldn’t happen to know any other employees from the Portland area who would be willing to transfer, would you? We just got word that one of our transfers quit last minute. We’d still be able to scrape by without her, but it would be a lot easier on all of us if we were a little less short handed around here.”

The answer was easy, Eddie really only had one co-worker in mind.

“Stanley Uris.” He blurted out, before thinking through his answer. Stan would never work at a nudist resort. But then again… If he didn’t know…

“Amazing! I’ll send in the request right away. Do you know him well? If you could talk to him for us, maybe put in a good word, that would be great. The last thing we need is another employee dropping out right under our noses.”

You could say that Eddie knew Stan well, if being best friends for the last 15 years counted. They’d stumbled into working for the same company purely by accident, going in for the same interview as a friendly competition and both coming out with a uniform and a name tag. It had been so exciting, finding out they were going to get to work together. It stayed exciting for approximately one week, until they discovered how terrible the job was. Well, the job itself wasn’t bad, but the environment was depressing, and the clientele was awful. Their boss wasn’t the worst man in the world, but he was stuffy and old and a bit too loud. It made Eddie skittish. He also had the sense of humor of rock, making any kind of playful banter completely null. Stan hated working there just as much as Eddie did, but they stayed there together out of solidarity.

So, yeah Eddie knew Stan well. And if there was anyone he needed in a time like this, it was Stan. But he’s not entirely sure how he would pull off convincing him to work at a place with naked people walking around.

“Is your co-worker going to be okay working here, what with…” To finish off his point, Bill gestured vaguely in the direction of the pool deck.

“Yeah, oh yeah, he’ll be fine.” Eddie tried to sound convincing. It didn’t work.

“Will you be fine?” Bill asked, that little smirk creeping its way back into his features, still not unkind.

Eddie sighed but nodded along. “Yes. I’ll be fine. As long as, oh dear god, wait, don’t tell me employees need to be nude too!?” Eddie’s eyes widened comically as he felt dread pool in his stomach at the thought.

Bill’s laugh was warm. “No, we have uniforms.”

“Oh thank god.” Eddie breathed out, earning another laugh from Bill. He joined in this time, feeling himself lightening up just slightly under the presence of someone with a calmer mind.

Later that night, as Eddie was getting ready for bed, he played over conversation scenarios in his head. He could tell Stan the truth, but then there’s no way he’d come. He could lie, but then there’s no way he could live with himself, knowing he’d conned his best friend into something he’d never otherwise do. But if he were to just… omit the truth… That wouldn’t be so bad, would it? Besides, how many times had Stan tricked him into an uncomfortable situation? This could be payback for all the years of dragging Eddie to “a concert” (the Opera), “a casual hangout with friends” (a blind double date), or who could forget the “small family gathering” (IT WAS HIS AUNT’S WEDDING).

Before he could talk himself out of it, Eddie was pulling up his text conversation with Stan and shooting off a message, then slamming the phone face down on the counter as if it might be able to read through Eddie’s thoughts and judge him.

Eddie Kaspbrak: I may have put your name in for a transfer today.

The response came in surprisingly fast.

Stanley Uris: You did what now?

Eddie Kaspbrak: Come on, we could work together all summer like usual. You know you miss me.

Stanley Uris: I’m sorry who is this

Eddie Kaspbrak: Ha Ha very funny. Seriously, Stan, this place is beautiful.

Technically, not a lie. It was beautiful if you just held your thumb over the nude bodies standing in front of the sunset.

Stanley Uris: It’s Barbados, of course it is.

Eddie Kaspbrak: Soooo come enjoy it with me. It won’t be the same without you.

Stanley Uris: Are there lizards? Eddie Kaspbrak: What

Stanley Uris: Lizards. Are there lizards there?

Eddie Kaspbrak: I haven’t seen a single lizard since I’ve been here. Stanley Uris: Okay. As long as there aren’t any lizards. And as long as you admit that you can’t go a single day without me.

Eddie Kaspbrak: Seriously Stanley Uris: I mean, unless I’m reading this whole thing wrong and you actually don’t need me…

Eddie Kaspbrak: Fine. I can’t go a single day without you. You’re the light of my life, the yin to my yang, the sun shines out of your asshole. So, are you in or what?

Stanley Uris: I’ve been in this whole time. They called me a few minutes before you texted. I’ve got a flight on Wednesday.

Eddie Kaspbrak: Fuck you very much Stanley

#reddie #reddie fanfic #reddie fanfiction #reddie lemon #reddie lemons #richie tozier #eddie kaspbrak #reddie smut #my posts #my writing #stripped bare

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kaibagirl007 · 5 years

Text

Father’s Day

(a stand-alone story set in my Blueshipping RP verse with @dragontamer05 )

“Happy Fathers Day, Dad,” Mokuba said softly before dropping the white chrysanthemum onto the lake’s surface. He stood there with Yugi by his side and watched as the flower floated away from them to join the rest that had been dropped before it. “Thanks for coming here with me today.”

“You’re welcome,” Yugi replied before giving another moment of silence for the man who he had recently learned had drowned there in a car accident over a decade ago and left two young boys orphaned as a result. “I’m sorry we didn’t encounter your brother like you’d hoped.”

“It’s okay. I’m sure he’s either already been or is waiting until after the time we usually come here in order to avoid seeing me.” Mokuba tried to hide his disappointment and just how much he was missing his brother since their fallout several months ago. Having been there for nearly a half hour, he turned to leave and attempted to divert the subject. “Do you miss your father? You know, with him being away from home all the time?”

There was a moment of silence as Yugi mulled over his answer with an awkward feeling inside of him. Since the other had shared something personal in regards to his father’s death, he felt it only fair to return the gesture. “People tend to have a misconception about my father. Many believe him to be absent due to work commitments, but the truth is… he was never there to begin with. He walked out on my mom before I was born.”

Mokuba was surprised to hear this, especially after the response he’d gotten from Mrs Muto herself after having asked if Yugi’s father would be home with them for the occasion; which he ‘unfortunately’ wouldn’t be. “But your Mom and Grandpa said-“

“It’s all lies. What started out as a story to protect my mother from the social stigma of being a single parent, snowballed into something much bigger as I got older.” Yugi smiled with a hint of sadness to his tone yet even managed to laugh a little as he recalled, “They’d send me fake letters and birthday cards to make him seem believable. I used to love reading all about ‘my father’s’ travels and got super excited each time one of his letters came in the mail. I never really questioned it all until a few years back when I started to notice the resemblance between his stories and Grandpa’s. I confronted them both and learnt the truth.”

“Wow… that must have been hard on you. Them too I guess.” Mokuba commented after hearing what Yugi had had to say. “Were you mad at them for lying to you?”

“For a little while, but it soon passed,” Yugi nodded as he remembered that betrayed feeling, similar to how a child who had just discovered that Santa Claus wasn’t real felt. “As I’m sure you know, family isn’t about having a mom and/or a dad, nor how many members are apart of it. At times it’s not even about blood relations, but rather the people in your life who want you in theirs. Those who accept you for who you are, who would do anything to see you smile and will love you no matter what.”

There was a moment of silence.

“You think Seto still loves me?” Mokuba asked with teary eyes.

“I know he does.” Yugi wrapped an arm around a now crying Mokuba and pulled him close as they walked back towards the city. “He’s going through a difficult time with his break-up with Kisara. Losing a love like that hurts and you got caught in his emotional firing line. Just give him some space for a while. You and he will be back on speaking terms before you know it.”

Mokuba’s pursed lips wobbled as he nodded in response to the assurance and advice that had been given. He then took out his phone from his pocket and completed his Father’s Day traditions.

— — —

Stood in the kitchen of his mansion, Kaiba gulped back a full glass of water before leaving the glassware beside the sink with the other mountain of dishes that awaited his maid’s attention, which wouldn’t be for another couple of days still. His phone buzzed in his pocket to indicate he’d received a text message. He rather lazily pulled it out, expecting it to be from one of his business associates, but was surprised to see his brother’s name displayed on the screen and smiled a little in disbelief.

[TEXT from Mokie] Happy Father’s Day!

It had been so long since he’d last heard from Mokuba and the sentiment almost brought tears to his eyes. Even after their fallout, his brother still loved him enough to think of him on such a special day. He replied with an automated: Thanks.

‘What exactly IS Father’s Day?’ Seto asked as he made a ghostly appearance beside his descendant, the tearful feeling having stirred him from quietly residing inside the other’s mind.

“It’s a celebration honouring fathers and paternal bonds,” Kaiba replied as he pocketed his phone.

‘And your brother views you as such?’

What the fuck do you think?

‘Okay, no need to get snarky.’ Seto declared after having sensed the sarcastic and irritated tone used towards him via the other’s thoughts. ‘Out of curiosity, are the dead excluded from such honouring?’

“Not that I’m aware.” Deciding that he was still thirsty and unable to remember which glass he had just drunk from, Kaiba reached for a clean one and poured himself more water from the filter-jug in the refrigerator.

‘If the dead are not excluded, then why are you not honouring your own father?’

Was he really going to have this conversation? Kaiba stared at his doppelgänger. “Which father are you referring to? The one who made my life a nightmare because I beat him in a game of chess, or the one who tried to murder me?”

As much as Kaiba regretted the fallout with Mokuba, at least this Father’s Day he was relieved to not be forced to visit the lake where they’d nearly drowned and have to pretend to mourn the piece of shit that had tried to take them with him in the suicide car sinking. Of course, he would never reveal the man’s true motive to his brother who had been too young to remember things from that time,- poor kid already suffered enough with sharing his birthday with their mother’s death,- and would see Mokuba remembered one parent fondly... Even if it was a lie.

Seto sensed the other’s bitterness. ‘He was your father who LOVED you, and you’ve chosen to hate him based on a single mistake during his most desperate time?’

Since when did attempting to kill two innocent boys qualify as a mistake?! But if you want to play devil’s advocate, game on! Kaiba calmly placed his glass down on the countertop, proving just how much restraint he had on himself at that moment as the anger currently felt for his birth father would have caused the glass to shatter if slammed like he wanted to. “I could say the very same about your father. Does he not deserve to be honoured on this day?”

‘How dare you even suggest Aknadin be honoured! What he did was EVIL!’

As expected, a nerve had been touched. “Abandoning you in order to massacre an entire village aside, did he not mentor, nurture and guide you down the path that led you to become the honourable man you became? Isn’t THAT the true purpose of a father? To help his child be and attain the best in life? You can’t deny he failed you in that respect.”

‘You seem to be forgetting that he tried to manipulate me into killing the woman I loved before killing her himself!’ Seto countered back, well aware that the other was trying,- and succeeding,- to infuriate him.

As if riling the other about his father hadn’t been enough, dismissing all knowledge of past Kisara was the icing on the cake. “As I recall, you ran him straight through afterwards, so that evens that score between you both.”

‘WHY YOU!!!’ Seto’s fist clenched tightly and he swung at the smug face staring back at him only for his fist to have no effect as it passed right through Kaiba’s head. He growled in frustration, ’I WISH I had a physical form to be able to pummel some sense and compassion into you!’

“I was thinking the exact same thing so I could strike you.”

‘You were…? Then how come I failed to hear that thought?’ Seto’s rhetorical question was asked aloud before he remembered that Kaiba had just taken some ‘medication’ before he’d appeared on the scene and that was the reason why he was now blocked from the other’s mind. ’Oh no, what did you take this time?’

Kaiba raised his brows high as he shrugged. “The pills weren’t marked. I was just instructed to not take more than one.”

‘And how many DID you take?’

“Three.”

‘Are you trying to kill yourself with all these narcotics?!’

“Live or die, I really don’t care anymore.” Kaiba drawled before raising his glass to his lips and drained the entire thing in several gulps.

‘What about Mokuba and Kisara? Do you not care about them?’

The now empty glass was added beside his first glass amongst the mountain of dishes as Kaiba’s aching dispirited mind cried; Of course care, that’s WHY I want this feeling to STOP!

#my crappy writing #fanfiction #yugioh #mokuba kaiba #yugi muto #seto kaiba #priest seto #father's day #rp stuff #dragontamer05 #just because I was in the mood to write this #^^;#I'll answer messages and reply to RPs tomorrow ;>.>

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