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jpmarvel90 · 9 months

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Grief

Masterlist Natasha Masterlist

Relationship: Natasha x Reader, Sister Wanda x Sister Reader

Summary: After Clint's death, Natasha falls of the rails and her marriage is at stake.

Word Count: 6554

Y/n’s POV:

When Clint died, it affected everyone in the team. But most of all, it affected his best friend, Nat. After his funeral, Nat started to withdraw from everyone, including me, her wife. Her walls went up and she almost went into self-destruct mode. I barely saw her. She would be out all-night doing God knows what. Most of the mornings when she would eventually come back home, she was drunk or high.

She had stopped working, which was for the best anyway as she wasn’t in the right mind set for it. But work was always her outlet when things got rough for her. I barely saw her and when I did, she would talk to me. I was lucky if I got a good morning or goodbye. She would never tell me where she was or where she was going. At first I would wait up for her, terrified something had happened, then she would come in to bed in the early hours, not even addressing the fact she had been out all night.

Eventually, I would be asleep before she came in and then she would be gone before I woke up. I felt helpless that I couldn’t help her. I would try to get her to open up, but she would just ignore me. We started to argue more, something we had rarely done. If we disagreed, we would always talk about it. Even if we didn’t end up agreeing, it would rarely end up in a fight. Now, it seemed like just saying good morning would get a rise out of her.

The team were worried too, and they had all tried to help her as well. But it was no use. I spent so much time talking to my sister Wanda about how I was worried that she was slipping away. But she would encourage me to be patient and just be there so when she was ready to talk, she knew I was there to listen. But she was becoming nasty and the worst she got, the harder it became.

I would tell myself that she had lost her best friend, the man that saved her life and gave her a second chance to fight for what was right. If I ever lost Wanda, I would be devastated and know that I wouldn’t cope. I was Natasha’s wife. It was my job to be there for her, for better or for worse. But it looked like better was never going to make its way back again.

It was late on a Tuesday evening when Natasha stumbled through the door to our house. The smell of alcohol seeped off her and she looked a mess. When looked closer, I could see lipstick on her neck. I felt my heart constrict at the sight, but I wasn’t going to jump to any conclusions. “Nat, where have you been?” I asked calmly, making way towards her. She just started to giggle. “I wanted a drink.” She slurred out, pushing past me to the stairs.

I followed her and watched as she stumbled around trying to get herself ready for bed. I knew there was no use in talking to her now. She was drunk and probably wouldn’t hear anything I had to say anyway. So, I waited. I sat up in bed and waited until she woke up a few hours later. One thing about Nat was she never got a hangover so was always ready to function the next day. She looked at me surprised when she saw me awake and watching her. I heard her sigh, but we needed to talk. It had been 6 months since Clint died and she was getting worse. I know she is grieving but this isn’t healthy, and I hate not being able to help her. What sort of a wife isn’t able to comfort the person they love?

“Where were you last night?” I asked, keeping my voice calm and low, not wanting to frustrate her. But it didn’t work. “I was just out for a drink.” She said coldly, making her way to the bathroom. “Please Nat, I’m worried about you. I want to help you.” I said trying to contain the emotions. “I don’t need your help Y/n. I’m fine.” She huffed, doing everything to ignore looking in my direction.

“I know you’re hurting, and I can’t begin to imagine how you’re feeling, but you can’t keep doing this. It’s unhealthy.” I said and I could tell she was starting to get angry, but I wasn’t planning on backing down today. “Exactly, you don’t know what I’m feeling so just back the fuck off.” She spat, shoving past me to leave.

I ran down the stairs and blocked the door so she couldn’t leave. “Natasha, I’m your wife. I’m not going to force you to talk to me, but please talk to someone. You need help. I’m worried about you. I don’t know where you go and then you come home drunk and last night you came home with lipstick on you.” I said frustrated, my resolve breaking.

She slammed her keys down on to the counter and walked towards me not breaking eye contact. “I do not need you telling me what to do. Being my wife doesn’t give you some special pass to know everything about me. And the so what, I was having fun last night. Isn’t that a good thing?” She said with an evil smirk on her face. “Fun with someone else is that what you mean?” I ask, almost at a whisper, terrified of her answer.

She paused for a moment before answering. “Yeah, someone who doesn’t badger me at every minute of the day.” She said it so casually, and I felt my heart shatter. She cheated. “I mean that little to you, that you would go and cheat?” I asked. “This just isn’t working anymore Y/n. Neither of us are happy. Let’s just cut our loses whilst we can.” Her words were cold and callous. “Nat, you don’t mean that. We’re married, we’ve been together for 8 years. You’re grieving and if you need space, then I’ll give it to you. But please, this isn’t the end for us.” I argued, tears filling my eyes.

“Well, maybe 8 years was enough. This isn’t the grief talking Y/n. I can’t do this anymore. I think we should break up.” She said, not making eye contact anymore. I felt sick and my legs were shaking. “Break up? You want a divorce?” I asked in shock, and she just nodded. I was speechless. I looked at her and I knew that there was nothing that I could do. I moved away from the door and walked away from her, tears streaming down my face.

When I heard the door close, as she left, I fell to my knees and broke down. I couldn’t believe that the woman that I had fallen in love with could do that to me. Not wanting to stay in this house any longer, I grabbed my bags and filled them with my clothes and anything I wanted to take with me. Which wasn’t much as I didn’t want the memories of this anymore. I locked the door and push my key through the letter box. I packed up my car and made my way to the compound.

I was greeted by Jarvis, and I asked where Tony was. As usual he was in his lab. I was making my way there when Wanda saw me and chased after me, trying to find out what’s wrong. “Y/n/n, please slow down. Have you been crying?” She asked as I ignored her and found Tony. “Y/n what do I owe the pleasu…. Y/n, oh God what’s wrong” He asked, his voice turning to one of concern. “Can I move back in please?” I asked with no emotion to my voice.

Both him and Wanda looked at me confused. “This place will always be your home, but what about Nat?” Tony asked and I felt myself shudder at her name. “She’s asked for a divorce.” I stated and they both gasped. Wanda pulled me into a tight hug. “She’s just grieving Y/n she didn’t mean it.” Tony tried to comfort me, but it was no use. I shook my head. “She said it wasn’t that. She wasn’t happy and she um. She cheated last night.” I shared and I felt Wanda’s grip on my arm tighten. I looked up to see her eyes going red. “I’m going to kill her.” She said but I grabbed her hand.

“No Wanda. It’s not worth it. Clearly, I was stupid to ever believe that she ever truly loved me. I never should have let my walls down.” Wanda’s eyes calmed and she looked at me with pity. “Please don’t put them back up Y/n. I can’t see you like that again.” She pleaded but it was too late. I didn’t plan to let anyone back in. “Tony, could you give me a number of a divorce lawyer? I’d rather get this done and out of the way so we can move on.” I explained.

I noticed his eyes move towards Wanda with concern, but I ignored it. “Sure, I’ll email you the details for when you’re ready.” She offered with a kind smile. I thanked him and made my way to my car to grab my bags. Wanda helped as we unpacked my things in silence. I had never felt so lost and hurt. Wanda could feel the pain I was in, and I could tell it was hurting her to see it. I started to block off my mind, not wanting her to her my thoughts. The first step to building my walls back up.

Third Person POV:

The team were shocked by Natasha’s actions. They barely saw her anymore, but how she so callously broke up with Y/n was something none of them expected. Natasha had never been happier than when she was with Y/n. They all knew she was hurting, but to cheat on Y/n and ask for a divorce was a complete shock. Although they understood that Natasha was grieving, many of them were angry at her.

Y/n had done nothing but be there for Natasha. She had never pushed, and she had taken every argument and insult that Natasha would throw at her in the heat of the argument. She stayed when many people would have left. Instead of working to get better for her wife, she pushed her away and did the one thing that was unforgivable. She broke Y/n’s trust the moment she decided to cheat. The team didn’t recognise Natasha anymore and they didn’t know what to do. They only person they thought that could get through to her was slowly falling into their own pit of depression.

Y/n thought she was being strong by hiding her feelings and focusing back on work. But the team could see past it. They knew she was hurting, and it pained them that they couldn’t help. When Y/n and Wanda joined the team, both of them struggled to settle in. But Y/n found it harder. She had spent more of her life in Hydra, and it took years before she was the fun, caring and loving person that the team grew to know. They were terrified that she was going to fall back to being that broken girl that joined the team 10 years ago.

Everyone was shocked when Y/n got divorce papers so soon. They thought she would give Nat time to realise her mistake, but Y/n was beyond hurt now and was doing everything she could to protect what as left of her heart. Wanda was most worried. Not being able to understand how Y/n was feeling scared her. Even in Hydra when Y/n would block Wanda from her mind, she still spoke to her. But this time she had totally shut herself off.

Y/n threw herself into missions and was nearly always away from the compound. For Fury it was great. Her success rate was high, and she never complained regardless of what the mission was. He started to use the fact that she was hurting to his advantage, which frustrated, Tony, Steve and Wanda. But Y/n passed all evaluations and was will which didn’t really given them a leg to stand on to stop it.

On team missions, it was clear that Y/n was reckless. Not with the safety of others or the success of the mission, but with her own life. On multiple occasions she would come back with some form of injury, but it wouldn’t stop her. Y/n main focus was to get the job done and protect Wanda. The last person that she truly cared for.

She still loved the team, but Wanda had been there her whole life. Y/n would do anything to make sure her sister came home in one piece, regardless of the cost. Wanda was the last person Y/n could lose. She knew she would never come back from that if she did. Y/n would rather die if it meant that Wanda survived.

It was a solo mission that ultimately brought trouble for Y/n. Fury had underestimated the forces that Y/n would go up against and within a few hours, Y/n was missing. Steve was leading comms from the compound and her tracker and comms were down. There was no sign of her. Tony started to do all he could to find her, whilst Steve had to have the difficult conversation with her sister.

He found Wanda in the common room reading when he took a seat next to her. She looked up and instantly her eyes started to gloss over. “Its Y/n isn’t it.” She said before Steve could say anything. He nodded sombrely. “She’s missing. Tony and SHEILD are doing everything they can to find her.” He explained and Wanda broke down. Steve was quick to pull her into his arms to hold her. “I can’t lose her Steve. She’s all I’ve got. I should have done more. She was hurting and I couldn’t help. My own sister. I let her go back to closing herself off and now she’s gone.” Wanda cried into Steve’s shoulder who tried to keep her calm.

“You did everything you could Wanda. Do not blame yourself. No one could have helped her in the state she was in. You being there was what she needed, and you did that. This was just her way of coping.” She consoled. “I’m terrified Steve. My sister can’t be dead.” She sobbed. “Y/n is dead?” both Steve and Wanda’s head shot up, anger filling the witch’s eyes when she saw the source of the voice.

Nat’s POV:

Losing Clint was the hardest thing I’ve had to go through. He was the reason I was able to make a difference and start to clear my ledger. He made a choice to save me and give me a second chance. One that lead to me gaining a family and a job that allowed me to make a difference. He was the reason I met my wife.

I knew I was pushing everyone away, but I couldn’t help it. I could feel the grief consume me and I was angry at everyone. So, I didn’t what I did best, I ran from my feelings. I knew I was hurting Y/n but in my mind, I didn’t care. I knew she would be there for me when I got my shit together. She didn’t push me at the start, and I was grateful for that. But then she would question where I was more, and I didn’t want to talk about it. So, I pushed her even further.

I started to dread coming home and seeing her. Our relationship wasn’t the same anymore. I know it was my fault but in the heat of the moment, I decided I wasn’t prepared to do that anymore. So, I did something I never thought I would do. I broke her trust and then asked for a divorce. I could see her heart break but the grief I was feeling was selfish and I didn’t care. So, I left.

If I had not been so fucking stupid, I would have seen that Y/n had done everything I needed to work through my grief. I was just too stubborn to do what I needed to. I let it consume me and I didn’t care who I hurt along the way. Even if that was my wife. The woman that I adored with all my heart. The woman I would die for. I was an asshole.

I lied to her. I didn’t cheat. Well, I guess technically you could say I did. I kissed another woman, then as it started to go further, I realised what I was doing and stopped it. I couldn’t do that to Y/n, even if I couldn’t see that everything else I was doing was toxic towards her.

After going on a 3-day bender, I found myself at the door of Clint’s old house, knocking. Laura opened the door with a smile which dropped when she saw my state. “Natasha, what are you doing here?” She asked a little shocked. I hadn’t seen her since the funeral. I could face her knowing that Clint was gone. Clearly my subconscious had brought me here. “I uh. I don’t really know.” I told her honestly and she was quick to pull me inside.

She made a pot of coffee and we talked for a while. I apologised for not being around. But she said that she was doing good. She had her good days and her bad, but she was strong for the kids, and they were finally started to heal as they knew that Clint wouldn’t want them to be stuck in a cycle of grief.

Her words hit home with me. If his wife and kids could move on with their grief, why couldn’t I? “Don’t take this the wrong way, but you look awful.” Laura said with a smirk, but worried eyes. “Yeah, I’ve not really been dealing with everything so well.” I explained and she nodded. “So I’ve heard.” She responded and I looked at her confused. “I see the team regularly. Tony told me that you and Y/n aren’t together anymore.” She said and I was shocked that she knew.

“I must say, you’re a fucking idiot.” She said and it shocked me. “What?” I asked confused. “You let go, well pushed away, someone as great as Y/n. I never too you for the cheating type Natasha. I know you’ve been grieving but you were selfish. Grief doesn’t give you a free pass to hurt someone else.” She scolded me and my eyes dropped to my hands in embarrassment. “We weren’t in a good place. We were fighting all the time and it seemed like the right decision.” I defended.

“Well, you’re even more of an idiot than I thought. Y/n was terrified that she was going to lose you. That you’d end up hurt or worse. She did everything that you wanted until it was becoming too much. Then you broke her trust for what? Because she cared too much about you to let you throw away your life as you were doing. You know, Clint didn’t save you for you to fall back to your old habits.” She said sternly. She really wasn’t letting me off the hook here.

“I would do anything to have even one more minute with Clint. Yet you are happy to throw away the one good thing in your life?” She questioned and I could see the hurt in her eyes. “If you want to self-destruct, fine. But breaking someone who worked so hard to build themselves up is unacceptable. Life is short, don’t throw it away.” As she spoke, it was like a movie reel was playing in my head of all the horrible things I had done to Y/n over the last 6 months. Then I saw everything good thing she had ever done for me. I was a coward, and I didn’t know if I’d ever be able to fix what I’ve broken.

I spend the next couple of weeks with Laura. She helped me to get my shit together. Spending time with her and the kids help me to come to terms with losing Clint and finally being in a position I could move on and honour Clint in the way he deserved. I had to make myself better not just for me, but for my wife. I eventually went back home ready to fix things with Y/n. Firstly, I needed to explain to her what really happened that night.

I opened the door to our house, and it struggled to open as there was a pile of post. I picked it all up and was surprised when I saw a key underneath it all. I picked it up and realised it was Y/n’s key. I called out to her, but knew she wasn’t here as her car was gone. I made my way up to our room and saw all of her things were gone. I don’t know what I was expecting. I asked her for a divorce, so of course she wasn’t going to wait for me anymore.

After clearing up a bit, I started making my way through the mail and paused when I got to a large A4 envelope. I opened it and felt my heart complete shatter. It was divorce papers. Fuck, I was too late. I grabbed my keys and made my way to compound. I knew she’d have gone back there to be with Wanda.

Tears were falling down my cheeks the whole way there. I can’t believe that I hurt the one person I love more than life itself. How could I let my grief get to the point I was willing to let her go? When I got to the compound I ran as quickly as I could to find her but was greeted by a sobbing Wanda in the common room. Steve was holding her, and I could tell that he was holding back tears as well.

Then I heard the words that shattered my world. “I’m terrified Steve. My sister can’t be dead.” Wanda sobbed and I couldn’t believe what I had heard. I was speaking before I even knew it. “Y/n is dead?” I asked. They both looked up at me and I could see how angry Wanda was. Her eyes had turned red. She stood up and marched over to me and before I knew it, I was on the floor with a bloodied nose and Wanda stood over me.

Ok I deserved that. Jeeze she packs a hell of a punch. “This is all your fault! You were so selfish that you pushed her to her limit.” Wanda screamed at me. I could hear the pain in her voice. What had happened? Where was Y/n? Was she actually dead? I had all these questions flying around my head, but the words didn’t come out. At my silence, Wanda started to generate an energy ball. I prepared myself for the impact, but it never came.

I looked up and saw Wanda’s hands drop to her side, the energy ball extinguished. She fell to her knees, heart breaking sobs leaving her. I sat up and pulled her towards me. I hated seeing her like this. She fought my comfort but eventually gave in. When she had calmed down, she pulled away, the anger had replaced the sadness that filled her eyes a moment ago. “If anything happens to Y/n, I’ll never forgive you.” She said coldly and walked off.

Steve was looking at me like I’d never seen before. He was disappointed but also hurt. “Steve, where’s Y/n? What is going on?” I asked needing to know what was actually happening. Steve went on to explain what had happened and the guilt was just continuing to grow. “She shut down Nat. It was like she was when she first got here. Her only priorities were missions and protecting Wanda. I know you were grieving, but I never thought you’d ever be able to do what you’ve done to her.” I couldn’t respond to him. I knew exactly what I had done and how unforgivable it was. I just had to hope that Y/n would come back safe to try to fix this.

For the next two weeks we all worked as hard as we could to find Y/n. We attacked numerous Hydra bases in the hopes we’d get more information, but it was useless. The more time that went on the more we realised, it was a high possibility that Hydra didn’t have her and that she had been hurt, or worse, in a fight with them.

Over these weeks, I had slowly been able to gain the others trust back. Wanda still hated me, and I didn’t blame her for that, but we worked well together. We both had the same drive and we understood how the other was feeling. We often would end up in the kitchen late at night talking about what was going on in our heads. “When I lost Pietro, I thought I would never get out of the darkness, but Y/n was there guiding me back to the light. When she started throwing herself into missions, I knew it was only a matter of time before something would happen. I tried everything I could to get to her, but she had shut me out. I failed her.”

I watched the turmoil on Wanda’s face. I hated that I had caused Y/n to close herself off to the world again. “Wanda, it’s not your fault. I broke her when I promised I never would. She cares for you, and she would hate that you are blaming yourself.” I try to comfort her. She sniffles and nods in acknowledgement. “Why did you do it?” She asked quietly but her eyes were boring into me.

I took a breath. “It’s a shit excuse, but with all the fighting we were doing, I convinced myself that we were coming to an end, and it was best to end it. I was too lost to realise that I was the cause of all the fighting and Y/n was just trying to help. When I came home to find the divorce papers, it felt like my world stopped. I took her for granted thinking that she would always be there no matter how horrible I was.” I explained. I was waiting for another punch or yelling but nothing came.

Wanda looked at me with sad eyes. “Is that why you cheated?” She asked and was quickly shaking my head. “I didn’t cheat. Well not like she thinks. I lied.” I said and I saw a hint of anger in Wanda’s eyes. “You lied about cheating?” She asked clearly not believing me, but I quickly told her to go into my mind and see what really happened that night. When her eyes returned to their normal emerald green she sighed. “I’m terrified that I’m going to lose her, like I lost Clint, but she won’t know that I’m sorry and I truly love her. She’s my light, my life. I can’t live in this world without her.” I started to cry and was shocked when Wanda comforted me.

“You broke her walls down once, maybe you can do it again.” She said calmly. “You really think she’d let me back in?” I asked surprised. “There was one emotion she couldn’t shut off from me the last few weeks, her love for you. It was so strong she couldn’t block it off. That doesn’t mean that she’ll forgive you, but I know she got the papers to protect herself. She thought it would stop the pain, but it didn’t.” She explained and I felt a small bit of hope.

The next morning, I was woken by Steve rushing into my room. “The quinjet is about to land. Y/n is on it.” He said out of breath. I shot out of bed and ran with him to the landing pad. “Do we know how she is?” I asked, wanting to be prepared for what we were about to see. “No, Fury’s team found her but there was no report of her condition.” He shared. We arrived and I stood next to Wanda, taking her hand in mine to give her comfort.

We could hear an argument from the back of the yet. “Y/n, you need to go to the medbay, please just get on the gurney.” We could hear Bruce say frustrated. “I’m fine Bruce, I don’t need a bed. My legs will be able to carry me to the medbay and I’ll let you do what every you need to do.” Hearing her voice was a relief and I could hear Wanda let out a big of a chuckle. As Y/n appeared at the back of jet, I noticed that she was covered in cuts and bruises and her shirt was saturated in blood.

Bruce was walking next to her, helping her as she limped her way over towards us. Wanda was quick to let go of my hand and made her way to Y/n. She was hesitant but still pulled her into a hug. “You scared the shit out of me! Don’t you dare do that again.” She scolded, but Wanda was quick to hug her again. “Here, let me help you.” Steve said, jogging over to help Bruce get Y/n to the medbay.

My heart rate was increasing with every step closer they took. Then our eyes met and for a brief moment it was like I couldn’t breathe. “As if getting shot wasn’t bad enough.” She muttered under her breath, but loud enough that I could hear. I followed as they took her to the medbay and watched as they started to patch her up. Wanda stayed with her whilst the rest of us observed from the waiting area.

Once he was done, Bruce came out to give us an update. “She’s doing good. Bullet wound to her shoulder and abdomen, but both were through and throughs. She did a good job of keeping them clean and stemming the bleeding until she was found. She got some small injuries such as broken ribs, fractured eye socket and a few broken fingers. But they’ll heal over time. She’s lucky.” She explained and we thanked him before making our way into the room. I took my place next to Y/n and couldn’t hold back anymore.

I grabbed her hand between mine. “Thank God you’re ok. I was so scared.” I said through tears. She turned to look at me, but her eyes were empty. Wanda was right, she had closed herself off again. She didn’t respond to me, but she also didn’t take her hand away. “What happened?” Wanda asked from her seat next to Y/n’s bed. “Mission went sideways. I was able to fight them off as best I could before I got hit. Thankfully I was able to get away. But the bleeding was too much so I took shelter in an abandoned hut. I was in and out of consciousness for a while and with no comms I had no way to call for help. Eventually I was found by a hunter and his son. They helped me get in contact with Fury and now I’m here.” She summarised.

Wanda held her hand tighter and ran her hand through Y/n’s hair. “I thought I lost you. Please, you have to be more careful and stop taking so many missions.” She pleaded. We were all surprised when Y/n agreed so easily. The team started to disperse, saying their goodbyes leaving just Wanda, Y/n and me. Wanda looked between us and stood up to leave. “I’ll come back later with some dinner.” She said but Y/n wouldn’t let go of her hand. I could tell they were having a conversation in their minds and obviously Wanda won when Y/n let go of her hand.

I sat in silence for a moment thinking about what to say, but it turns out I didn’t have to. “Have you signed the papers yet?” She asked coldly. Her words were like daggers to my heart. “No, and I don’t plan to.” I responded and she scoffed. “You were the one that wanted a divorce Natasha, just sign them and we can move on.” She retorted, not making eye contact with me once.

I know Y/n more than I know myself. I can always get a pretty good read on her. I thought it would be difficult if she had closed herself off, but I could tell she was in so much physical pain, that she wasn’t able to fight to keep those walls up right now. And I knew she didn’t really want me to sign the papers. She’s trying to protect herself. “I don’t want to move on. I want to make things right with my wife.” I said firmly. “Ex-wife.” She muttered and once again her words hurt. But I deserved it.

“You’re not my ex-wife. We’re not divorced yet and I don’t plan of letting that happen.” I insist. “If you don’t sign them, I’ll go through the courts if I have to. I have grounds for divorce. You cheated on me. My lawyer said that I can proceed with that alone.” She explained and I realised just how much she had done in a short space of time. “Well, I didn’t cheat, your grounds are gone. So how about you just talk to me for a moment before trying to force through a divorce that neither of us want.” I kind of shouted and I saw her flinch slightly.

“Don’t lie Natasha, you’ve already hurt me enough, please just stop.” She said, her voice cracking. “I’m not lying. I did kiss another woman that night. I was drunk and then as she wanted more, I stopped it. I didn’t sleep with her because even in my drunk ass state, I couldn’t do that to you. You don’t know how much I regret even kissing her, let alone then letting you believe that I cheated on you. Wanda read my mind, she can show you that I’m not lying.” I quickly explain hoping she’ll believe me.

“Then why did you say you did? Did you just want to hurt me?” She asked and I hated my response, but I had to be truthful. “At the time yes. I was angry and I thought the only way I could process everything was in my own stupid way. I was frustrated when you would try to help so I just pushed you away and then lied so I could get you to leave me.” I said shamefully, unable to keep eye contact. I could hear her sniffling and it was killing me knowing I was causing her pain all over again.

I then heard shuffling as she started to get out of bed, pulling off the wires attached to her body. “Hey! Where do you think you’re going?” I said jumping out of my seat to push her back into the bed. “I can’t stay here right now. My own wife just admitted that she wanted to hurt me. When all I had ever done was try to help her through her grief. I took every harsh word you ever said to me because I knew you were hurting, and you didn’t mean it. It was more important that I was there for you. But that night, I looked in your eyes and I could tell you did mean it. My wife, my Natasha, would never have treated ANYONE like that regardless of what she was going through.” She was crying and she was angry, and she was right.

I fight with her a little to make sure she stays in her bed. I can’t have her hurt herself anymore. “Please just stay here. You’ll make your injuries worse. If you want, I’ll leave and give you space.” I tried to bargain with her. She huffed and dropped back on the bed, giving a slight hiss in pain. “I don’t want space. I want to stop feeling all this pain. I want to stop feeling like the world is slowly falling from underneath me. I can’t do this until you let me move on. So just sign the god damn papers.” She almost yelled.

I did this too her. I caused this pain and turmoil by being selfish. But I wasn’t going to give up on her. “I’m not signing the papers.” I insisted once again. “I made you a promise on our wedding day that I would fight for us through anything. I broke that promise which I will never forgive myself for. But I still plan on living by that promise now. There is no one else like you in this world. You make me feel whole and without you there is just darkness. I let myself get lost in grief and used it as an excuse to act out. I know that you still love me. I also know that you are trying to protect yourself because you think that I’ll just end up hurting you again. So let me make one more promise to you that I will never break. I will never stop loving you and I will never hurt you again. Just please give me one more chance.”

I’m pleading to her through my own tears and every minute of silence is slowly killing me. I’m losing her, I’ve fucked up and I’m going to lose her. “Please, what can I do to get you to give me one more chance.” I begged. She sighed but looked up at me. “Go to therapy. You need to process what happened with Clint before you can commit to our marriage again. You need to help yourself before you can help me.” She said and I nodded along in agreement. “Anything for you. I’ll get myself sorted and I’ll be the best wife that you deserve. But you need to make me a promise.” I said, hoping I wasn’t crossing a line.

She raised and eyebrow at me but encouraged me to carry one. “Stop closing yourself off and going on dangerous missions to deal with your own pain. Wanda won’t cope if she loses you and I need my funny, caring, and loving wife.” I explained and she looked down to her lap, but she eventually nodded.

I sat on the side of her bed and pulled her towards me and placed a kiss on her head. “We’ll get through this. I’ll make everything up to you and we’ll be back to where we were. Ready for the rest of our lives together and maybe starting that family we talked about.” I said hesitantly, hoping she still wanted the same things that I did. “I love you, Tasha.” Those simple words brought warmth to my heart, and I started to sob into our embrace before responding “I love you too my Angel.”

#natasha romanoff #natasha #romanoff #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff x y/n #natasha romanoff fanfiction #marvel #marvel fanfiction #avengers #avengers fanfiction #Wanda Maximoff

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whatwouldsylwrite · 11 months

Text

At least I got you in my head (6)

(5)

Summary: Abby is straight. And then you move in with her.

Tags: modern au, fem!reader, straight!abby (she is doing some comphet bullshit), pining, idiot in love and it's abby, reader is gay and tired.

Notes: Abby is stupid, but she finally says goodbye to Aslan and leaves Narnia! Let's say a big thank you to Ellie for being the bestest friend ever. You're just chilling with Vi, this chapter is mostly Abby-centric because oh boy she overthinks. Four-eyed girl/blonde bitch is Kara Danvers.

Taglist: @abbyily @lillysbigwilly @gravygranules @blairfox04 @frogtits1 @ccinnamongrl @ninazenuk @urmomsgirlfriend1 @sunkissedbibi @couchgarbage @nil-eena @inlovewithelliewilliams @st4rluvrr @mai5mai @machetegirl109 @azelmawrites @zootedhoe @rhae-blackqueen @vea-vea-vea @mnim58e @chubeline @strgrlxox @chrry1ovr (if you want me to tag/untag you for the whole series dm me please)

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Abby had a problem.

It’s been two weeks since you brought that blonde four-eyed girl home, and Abby had a problem.

Because you brought another girl again a week ago, and it didn’t make Abby feel any better.

In fact, she only got angrier and felt even more disgust than before. And it was bothering her, because you yourself weren't disgusting at all, the best roommate and a good friend, and she loved spending time with you as always, but there was one thing that made her uneasy.

The gay thing. The thing where you had sex with girls. Abby was absolutely fine with you at any other moment, but when she saw that blonde bitch kissing you goodbye she almost puked.

So Abby came to the most logical conclusion: she was homophobic. This revelation made her heart stop as she became more afraid of herself - she'd never say she was a homophobe, her best friend was a lesbian, it just didn't make sense! But Abby never heard Ellie have sex and never saw her hookups after, so she just didn't have a trigger to figure out how much gay was too much for her. She could listen to Ellie talking about her new girl no problem, but that was probably it. And they never lived together, so Abby couldn't say if she'd be okay if Ellie would bring girls over, so.

Abby was deeply ashamed of herself, but she had to admit it.

She wasn't okay with the fact that you were a lesbian.

To make things worse, Abby remembered how you told her you were a lesbian to make sure she was okay living with you, and she said yes, and how sad it made her that you had to clarify it right away because you probably had your fair share of homophobia in your life, and now Abby was not okay with it.

Fuck, she was like those shitty parents who said that they accepted their children as they were, but then pulled "keep it to yourself" on them. That was literally how Abby felt, because she wished you could go back to "normal" where she didn't know anything about your sex life.

When you didn't have a sex life.

"Did you finish your paper?" You asked on Tuesday morning as you brewed coffee for her, sleepy and tired, your hair a mess.

How could she live with herself now?

"Yeah." Abby said shortly, not looking at you, too ashamed.

"That's amazing." You yawned and put the plate with breakfast in front of her. "You'll have to wait for coffee, sorry."

Abby wanted to cry. You were so nice to her and she was a horrible fucking person who hated the fact that you were gay.

"It's okay."

"Are you feeling okay? You seem a little bit down." You looked sympathetic and worried, and it really hurt.

Abby chuckled, trying to act normal, but when she lifted her eyes the first thing she saw was a hickey on your collarbone and her stomach twisted in disgust.

"Just tired. Can't wait for the break." So she could go home and not see you. (So she could go home and miss you crazy)

"Are you going back home?"

"Yeah, all the way to Seattle. You?"

"I'll probably stay here. Or if Cait would have to go home, I'll go with her to keep her sane."

"Does her family celebrate Thanksgiving?"

"Not really, but social events are social events and if they need to show her off, they will."

"Tough."

"Are you sure you're okay? You can talk to me." You asked again, still worried and clearly not buying Abby's excuses.

Abby shook her head and smiled, knowing you'd read right through her.

"Nah, I'm fine. Don't worry your pretty head."

Besides, what would she tell you? That she despised your sexuality? That she wished you were straight? That she needed you to stop having sex and promise her you'd never get a girlfriend because it didn't align with her traditional beliefs? Yeah, what a great conversation it would be.

The lessons with Vi were very productive: you were sure she'd get an A on her test with how much progress she made in these few weeks. She tended to forget some things, but she was able to logic her way out of questions that she didn't remember the right answer to, and you felt confident in her abilities.

The sex was amazing too. Vi was really chill about a lot of things, very flexible and actually enjoyed it when you topped, which didn't happen often with girls you usually hooked up with. She was very sweet and so down to earth you started trusting her without even noticing it. You started having deep conversations after sex, sharing your secrets and problems, and you adored Vi.

"In a friendly way." You specified when you told her how much you appreciated her.

"I remember, don't worry." Vi laughed and stroked her bare thigh. "I'm not emotionally available either."

"Really? Spill." You got excited, happy to not be alone in the losers' boat.

"Only if you do too."

"Oh, no problem." You laughed. "I'm the worst gay stereotype. She is straight and I'm hopeless."

Vi's hand stopped on your thigh and she looked at you like you were insane.

"Are you stupid?"

"I am." You laughed and nuzzled on her shoulder. "My best friend thinks she is in the closet, but it doesn't really help, you know?"

"Yeah." Vi sighed and looked at the ceiling, contemplating your words, as her other arm pulled you closer. "I'm genuinely sorry, (y/n)."

"Yeah, me too." You took a pause, looking at the ceiling as well, still a little high after your last orgasm, but sadness was creeping out on you when you thought about Abby. "What about you?"

"I-uh. We share a class together, but I've never talked to her. She is very smart, like. Genius level."

"And I'm stupid?" You said, playfully offended. "Be brave, talk to her. Which class do you share?"

"The class I'm failing and you're tutoring me in. Not the great first impression. Plus, you know, what if I'm in love with a fantasy in my head? I don't know her."

"Go and talk to her, I swear to god. I can do it for you, if you want." You shrugged, not seeing any barriers in this situation. You were 100% hopeless, but Vi could still get her girl.

"It's pointless. She'd never give a chance to someone like me, we're from different worlds. Oil and water." Vi said, sad and given up, and you felt angry on her behalf: what was so special about this girl that Vi didn't even want to try?

"What do you mean?"

"She is rich. And I'm an orphan who can barely pay rent and have a baby sister to support."

"If it's a problem for her, she is an asshole and doesn't deserve you anyway." You huffed. "But yeah, I know what you're saying. Privilege is something you can't really ignore."

Vi hummed and you kissed her shoulder just to show you were there for her. You knew what Vi was talking about firsthand: Caitlyn really had to learn a lot when you became friends, since you had to financially support yourself the whole time and couldn't afford hanging out in places Cait used to hang out. She was confused when her expensive gifts offended you and she looked so terrified when you brought her to eat street food and there were no textile napkins. It was hilarious but it was also a harsh reminder of what privilege looked like.

Now she was way down to earth and ate pizza with her hands while sitting on the ground, changed her whole friend circle and yeah, she was still wearing a lot of expensive things, but she knew her privilege and never looked down at anyone, almost embarrassed she had it better. Which was a good look on her, honestly - she wasn't responsible for her family's wealth, but she was still responsible for herself and you felt comforted knowing she held herself accountable. Caitlyn was good, and you hoped Vi's girl would be even better to her.

Or you'd have to hunt her down and kill her, because Vi was precious.

On Thursday you had your usual cuddle time and Abby never felt more guilty in her life as she once again held you in her arms and enjoyed it. She couldn't keep her hands off you no matter how hard she tried, and she didn't want to distance herself from you and make you feel guilty - she knew you would since you always confirmed if Abby was okay with being touched. It didn't seem fair to still cuddle you and bask in your warmth and softness when she had this nasty feeling inside her. If before that she felt like she was using you because she was touch-starved, now not only she was using you because she was touch-starved, she actually had the audacity to be disgusted when she thought where your hands might have been.

Where your mouth might have been.

Abby noticed she was looking at your mouth a lot, and she was mad at herself because instead of trying to block those awful thoughts and avoid possible triggers she only instigated them by looking at your mouth for no reason at all.

Abby was slowly going insane and she really needed to discuss it with someone who wouldn’t judge her, because it wasn’t her proudest moment. She felt like the worst person in the world for being the way she was, but she just couldn’t get over herself. So instead of going home on Friday night Abby went over to Ellie’s place.

She was afraid to bring this up with Ellie too, because if she was homophobic it meant Ellie was under fire too and Abby wanted to cry from how bad she felt. They have been friends since they were children and Abby was the first person Ellie came out to and now Abby felt like she might ruin something between them and betray Ellie's trust.

Ellie noticed something was up with her and Abby already saw her stubborn frown that meant she wouldn't get away without talking to her.

"What's up with you? You look like a kicked puppy." Ellie took a swig of her beer as she observed Abby, trying to read her non-verbals.

"I've discovered something about myself I'm not really proud of." Abby admitted and Ellie nodded knowingly as if she already knew what Abby was going to say. Fuck, was she micro-homophobic to Ellie before? Was it something noticeable? Did she hurt Ellie? "I'm a homophobe."

The knowing look on Ellie's face changed to shock as her eyes grew in size and her mouth fell open.

"You're what." Ellie asked carefully as if Abby was an angry animal who needed to be calmed down.

"I'm sorry." Abby said immediately. "I know it sounds ridiculous since you're my best friend but hear me out."

“..Okay.”

“Fuck, it’s so awful.” Abby started, ashamed of herself. “A few weeks ago (y/n) and I discussed bringing people over and she started bringing girls. And I thought I'd be okay with it, but I'm just. So disgusted. I literally want to throw up.” Abby looked at Ellie, ready to accept her reaction, no matter what it would be, but Ellie only stared at her, confused.

"That's why you think you're a homophobe?"

"Yes. Because I'm only like that when she brings girls over. She is the best roommate I've ever had, but I'm not fine with her being gay."

"Are you fine with me being gay?" Ellie asked, still confused, and Abby felt the guilt wash over her.

"I don't know anymore. You didn't have sex in the same apartment with me, so I have no evidence. I think I'm fine if you keep it to yourself?" Why was she like this? This was her best friend and she was a total asshole to her right now.

Ellie sat straight and leaned to Abby as if she wanted to say something important.

"Abby. Abigail. You went to lesbian bars with me. You saw me making out. You were hit on a million times by other women. I never kept it to myself with you." Ellie waited until Abby took it in. "I'll prove it to you."

Ellie stood up and went to the door to her room, opening it halfway and sticking her head out.

"Dina! Can you come here?"

Ellie's roommate came into the room a few moments later and Abby was confused as fuck - did they need a whole council to decide Abby's fate or what?

"Abby here thinks she is a homophobe. Can you make out with me in front of her?"

Abby couldn't help but laugh in surprise, her affection for Ellie's stupid ideas lifting her mood a little. Dina laughed too and shrugged, sitting next to Ellie on the opposite side of Abby.

"Pda is generally uncomfortable, you know." Dina said to Ellie, seemingly thinking her idea was stupid too, but still rolling with it.

"Well, you tell us Abby if it's generally uncomfortable or you want us to burn in hell." Ellie murmured in Dina's lips before she kissed her.

Abby felt her breath hitch as she watched them making out and it was even more embarrassing - she didn't feel disgust, no. She felt- She felt-

Abby was terrified to give a name to this feeling, suddenly ashamed of what she felt as she watched her best friend making out with another girl, but her chest fluttered and her heart was beating faster. She felt an ache between her legs and it was even more embarrassing - was she- was she fetishizing her best friend? Was she that deranged?

"So, do you want to throw up?" Ellie asked, panting, as she moved her hands away from Dina's face.

"No." What Abby actually wanted was a very different thing. "I mean- no. I'm fine. You both are pretty, so."

Ellie and Dina shared a look between them, and if Abby paid attention she'd know their looks said "this bitch is stupid".

"Am I fetishizing you right now?" Abby asked, genuinely confused.

"I can't believe this shit." Ellie said, exasperated. "You're not. Abby, you're not a homophobe, okay?"

"I'm gonna go, I have shit to do. Good luck with the identity crisis, Abby." Dina said and left Ellie's room to give them privacy, knowing it was a conversation she shouldn't be a part of.

"But if I saw (y/n) like this I'd definitely puke. I almost did." Abby countered, still confused.

"So you're saying you only have this reaction to (y/n)?"

"I think so. How many lesbians do you think are having sex in my apartment?"

"Well, considering (y/n)'s body count, I'd say a lot."

Abby frowned in anger and Ellie caught it, coming up with a different reason.

"Maybe you're just uncomfortable with her having sex at your place. Would you care if she didn't bring those girls home but fucked them somewhere else?"

Abby went silent as she imagined that, but Ellie interrupted her fantasy where she was totally cool with you sleeping around outside your place.

"Because I know she stayed over at other people's places."

The cocktail of her awful emotions came back full force and the fantasy where Abby was okay with it was in ruins, replaced with fury - she didn't know that and it made her fucking mad.

"How do you know that?"

"Gossip." Ellie said shortly. "So, do you care if she fucks somewhere else?"

Oh, Abby wanted to lie so bad. She wanted to pretend the whole issue was just about your sex life on her doorstep, but she was tired of feeling like this. She was tired of getting angry at you for nothing and she just wanted everything to be back to normal.

"I do."

"Okay." Ellie sighed. "I'm going to say something, okay?"

Abby nodded, apprehensive.

"You're jealous, Abby."

"Nah, I had Owen, remember? I'm not worried about having less sex." Abby said, relieved: she already thought of this and figured out it wasn't about who had more sex in your apartment.

"No, Abs. You're jealous of all those girls who fuck her."

"That… doesn't make sense." Abby laughed nervously, suddenly filled with desire to hide from Ellie and her words.

"Dude, being homophobic to one person doesn't make sense either, since a) I'm your best friend and I'm a lesbian b) you didn't punch me when I told you I had a crush on you-"

"That was so embarrassing why would you bring it up-"

"And c) you literally punch homophobes in their face."

"I'm not gay." Abby said stubbornly. Yes she did punch some homophobes in her life, but it didn't make her a lesbian. She didn't like girls! She wasn't like that!

"I didn't say that." Ellie chuckled like she caught Abby on something. "But the thought that you're homophobic is ridiculous."

It was ridiculous. Oh god. Abby felt so stupid right now - what kind of mental gymnastics was she doing? And she was so sure of it too, it really seemed logical and sensible. But if she wasn't homophobic, she didn't care where you had sex (she only cared that you had sex at all), what was her problem?

"Have you ever thought of her in that way?" Ellie asked.

"Why would I?" Abby asked, suddenly defensive.

"Why would it be so wrong if you liked girls?"

That question broke Abby's brains. She stared at Ellie for a few seconds, not even comprehending her words. Indeed, why would it be so wrong? There was nothing wrong with liking girls, why didn't she want to even entertain the idea? Why did she push this "husband two and a half kids dog" agenda on herself?

"Am I fucking-" Abby was shocked as thoughts ran through her head at light speed. "Am I homophobic to myself?"

"This feels like therapy, I swear." Ellie chuckled. "Dude, if you feel guilty for liking girls then yes, you're homophobic to yourself."

"I just-" Abby looked at her own hands, still shocked. "I didn't think I was allowed."

"Well, as the president of lesbians I'm giving you permission to like girls. How does it feel?"

"Like you're stupid and I'm even more stupid." Abby deadpanned. "This is-"

So many things started to make sense: the way Abby always tried not to stare at other girls, how she preferred softness to hardness, "all girls are pretty", how she never bothered with boys because they didn't strike much interest and ran to girls instead because they were just better-

(How she stared at Caitlyn's tits)

"I'm not straight." Abby said and laughed. "And I'm so stupid."

Ellie laughed and nodded. She was happy for Abby, even if she was an utter idiot.

"Homophobic my ass." Ellie thought as they clicked their bottles. "Congratulations on liking pussy, Abs."

Abby laughed, a little embarrassed, but she felt so light in that moment, finally free of years of guilt for looking at girls for too long. It also explained why didn't look at you when you were just out of the shower - she was just gay and scared.

For some reason the conversation changed and they never got back to why you were Abby's "favourite", too overwhelmed with the biggest realisation of Abby's life. Abby was absolutely thrilled with her new discovery and excited about what laid ahead.

As far as she could tell, all lesbians around her were having a hell of a fun time.

#abby anderson x reader #abby anderson x you #abby anderson #abby tlou #aligyimh

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joeybsversion · 8 months

Text

Conclusions

Joe Burrow x Reader

Joe introduces you to his friends

“Do I look okay?” You spin to the side, head looking over your shoulder so you can see the back of your dress in the mirror.

“You look stunning.” Joe says, sitting on the edge of the bed, watching you finish getting ready.

You and Joe had been dating for 7 months now, but you had yet to meet some of his best friends. You and Joe liked keeping your relationship private, but it was time.

“I’m so nervous.” You anxiously whine as you step into your heels.

“There’s no reason to be. I promise.” He assures you, standing up to fix his shirt. “It’s just a casual dinner downtown with some friends.” He comes up behind you and places his hand on the small of your back. “Just relax.”

You follow Joe down to the street and climb in the passenger seat of the car. Your heart is pounding out of your chest the whole drive.

“Ready?” He reaches over and places a hand on your thigh as he puts the car in park.

You nervously laugh, “let’s go.” You say and climb out of the car.

He wraps his arm around your waist as you make your way inside, the sweet gesture instantly calming some of your nerves.

“There they are.” He motions and waves to his friends. “This is my girlfriend.” He introduces you to everyone as you both take a seat.

“Doing ok?” He asks with a worried look on his face a few minutes later. “You look like I’m forcing you to sit here beside me.”

“I just hate being stared at.” Not only were Joes teammates looking at you, but the whole restaurant. This was the first spotting of Joe with a girlfriend. Everyone was buzzing about it.

“Then don’t be so damn pretty.” He smiled, reaching over and putting his hand on your thigh.

The butterflies in your stomach somersault. You blushed and pressed the glass of wine to your lips. Joe always knew how to make you feel special.

You can hardly believe it when you peek at the time on your phone. Two hours have gone by. The food was great, the conversations were entertaining, and the company was absolutely incredible. You and Joe polished off your second bottle of wine, both feeling quite wine drunk. He tucks a wad of cash into the leather the waiter dropped off, says his goodbyes, and then slips out of the booth and holds out his hand.

You grab it, wobbling on your heels as he helps you to your feet. You both feel weak-kneed and giddy and are sporting the same goofy, tipsy grin.

“That was nice.” He murmurs.

“It was.”

He laces your fingers together and leads you out of the restaurant and proceeds to keep them like that all the way down the street. Neither of you were in the proper condition to drive, luckily the spot you chose was close to Joes house and the walk home would be quick.

“It’s raining.” He laughs, pulling you closer as you both stumbled all over the place. “These are impractical.” He sets you on a bench and pulls of your heels.

The rain is coming down harder now, and the sky is dark. It’s a good thing the roads are deserted. Joe slurs something intelligible, his head leaning towards you. You feel his arm tighten around your shoulder before he steps behind you, his other arm wrapping around you. He nuzzles his face into the crook of your neck, his breath causing shivers down your back.

“We’re in the middle of the street.” You laugh.

“Run with me!” He lets go of your shoulders and pull you along behind him, down the rain soaked street, hand in hand, laughing in the wind, moon up ahead.

You made your way back to Joes front porch. Both of you laughing uncontrollably and out of breath, soaked and shivering from the rain.

“I’ve reached several conclusions.” Joe states. “I never want this to end.” He takes a breath. “And I’m falling in love with you.”

#joe burrow #joe burrow fic #joe burrow fluff #joe burrow imagine #joe burrow one shot #joe burrow smut #joe burrow x reader #joe burrow fan fic #joe burrow insta au #joe burrow instagram

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envy-of-the-apple · 2 months

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That what if when ms. moon already has a family but has to leave because of him is so HEARTBREAKING. Imagine moving on from a tramatic situation, meeting the love of your life, having a wonderful kid for all that to just get squashed in a instant. That literally had me about to tear up but imagine her kid was a bit older lets say like 10 (i know the math doesnt add up well with the timeline but its a what if)and then she just has to leave, that alone would greatly negatively impact the kid, just leaving a lasting mark. Maybe the kid would remember gojo’s face and resent him for the rest of their life.

The husband thing is equally as sad because I imagine ms.moon as shes about to leave crying and whispering how much she loves him and that shes so sorry. (Bonus heartbreak points they all breakdown as shes about to leave and she cant even hug or kiss them goodbye because shes being watched). After this incident ms.moon’s pervious family completes spiral down the drain and moon’s mental state goes down the drain with it

In conclusion amazing story but that shit was sad as fuck but I still eat it up with silverware and all

(merging multiple SEM asks cuz i feel so guilty for clogging up ppls dashes lmao)

ughhhh anytime kids are involved it just gets way more depressing, right? It think age 8-10 is like the worst time for this to this to happen because the kid can understand little, but not enough to get the whole picture.

The kid knows that their mom is leaving, but they aren't seeing the wavering tears in Ms.moon's eyes, the shaky hands, as you hug them for the last time. All that they can see is the fancy new car your new lover sits in. The grand ring that sits on your finger. Yeah, your kid will hate gojo for ripping apart your family.

But they'll hate you more, considering you're running off with a man who has more money than their father.

I think the only upside is that gojo might not bat an eye if you send money back to your family, keeping them comfortable. With enough pleading, he might pull a few string to get your kid into a good school. With your indirect help, your kid will have the best education and prosperity. Them resenting you is a pretty small price to pay, right?

in the fic, the case took about three weeks, so it took three weeks for gojo to just snap.

He would definetly try to toy with ms.moon for as long as he can. Despite claiming that he forgave ms.moon, he does carry a tiny bit of resentment. It's kind of a punishment, in that sense.

And honestly the moment he figures out you who are, I doubt you'd have a chance to run anymore. The reason why Ms.moon was able to 'get away' the first time was because gojo was still a teenager, hier of the gojo conglomerate, but still not powerful yet. Now, he has tons of resources available for him. You're not getting away lmao, I think that's why he's so much at ease this time around.

I never really considered the family's response. their reactions is something I'm not really interested in exploring. i don't think they got any characterization other than 'housewife mom' and 'dad who works'. I don't really think ms.moon would even mention gojo's torment to them. It'd be embarrassing, knowing that some kid the same age as you is just lording over your life, right? I did mention that Gojo confronts your family in EKM, but I don't like that addition now, so I'm retconning it. I feel like they'd find out just like everyone else did: From the media. Everyone in your little town knew who the Gojo was, but the fact that their kid is getting married to one of them has so be surprising.

But then again, not something im interested in exploring

If Gojo had managed to find Ms. Moon before, things would certainly have been much different. The gojo now has 'cooled down' and is far less volatile. If they had met again, if they were in their early twenties....things would not be much different from his high school counterpart.

#SEM #dark content #yandere jjk #dark jjk #dark gojo satoru #yandere gojo satoru

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engie-ivy · 1 year

Text

When someone goes home to their small town for Christmas, it never bodes well for their career-focused, Christmas Spirit-lacking, big city boyfriend, but Sirius isn't going to give up that easily.

All I Want For Christmas Is YOU

All I Want For Christmas - Mariah Carey

Remus puts down his tea mug and looks up from his book as he hears the front door open.

His mum walks in, bundled up in her big coat, scarf and woollen hat, her face beaming and her cheeks rosy. Sirius follows behind her, looking decidedly less warm in his leather jacket, the tip of his nose red and his teeth clattering.

“Hullo love!” His mum greets Remus cheerfully, while taking off her hat and beginning to unwrap her scarf. “We just had so much fun at the Christmas tree farm, didn’t we, Sirius?”

Sirius bares his teeth, and it takes Remus a moment to realise it’s supposed to be a smile.

“You could actually dig out your tree yourself this year!” His mum continues. “Now of course we couldn’t resist, now could we, Sirius?”

“W-we sure c-couldn’t!” Sirius replies, attempting to sound excited, but not really succeeding due to the shivering in his voice.

“I’ll admit it was a bit chilly,” his mum says, which is an understatement considering Sirius’ half-frozen state. “But it was nothing a good cup of hot coco couldn’t fix, am I right, Sirius?”

“S-so true.”

His mum beams at Sirius, oblivious to his distress, then turns back to Remus. “Old man Prewett will deliver the tree later. We dug up a real beauty, Remus, you’ll see!”

“I’m sure I will,” Remus replies, eying Sirius, whose standing so stiff, probably due to the fact that he can barely move his frozen limbs.

“We just had such a lovely day!” His mum has finished taking off her coat, while Sirius is yet to move. “And Sirius is also going to help me prepare the roast for dinner later!”

“Is he now?” Remus says.

His mum happily pats Sirius’ cheek before skipping off to the kitchen.

“You’re a vegetarian,” Remus says to Sirius as soon as his mum is gone.

Sirius nods.

“Because you can’t take the sight of dead animals.”

Sirius nods again.

“And the only hot beverage you’re willing to drink is black coffee. You hate hot chocolate.”

“I sure do,” Sirius agrees.

“And last time I checked, you were allergic to pine trees. Which is why we never have a Christmas tree at home.”

Sirius sniffs and Remus notices his eyes are puffy. “I can confirm that I still am.”

Remus puts his book down and gets up from his chair. He walks over to Sirius and takes one of his hands in his, and starts rubbing the freezing cold hand trying to warm it up. “Love, what are you doing?”

“I’m embracing The Christmas Spirit!” Sirius says, attempting to sound excited.

Remus just gives him a look, and Sirius sighs. “Don’t you see, Remus? It’s me!”

“What’s you?”

“The designer clothes-wearing, career-focused city boy who doesn’t care much for Christmas.”

“So?”

“So?” Sirius repeats. “So they always get dumped before the final act!”

“Why would I dump you?” Remus asks. “And what ‘final act’?”

“It’s always the same,” Sirius says miserably. “The person,” he gestures at Remus. “goes home to their small town, where they rediscover their roots and The True Meaning of Christmas, and come to the conclusion that a work-obsessed city boy is the last thing they want. I have to embrace The Christmas Spirit if I want any chance at ever getting the guy!”

“You already have the guy!” Remus exclaims.

Sirius just smiles sadly. “They always do at first. But then you’ll meet the alluring stranger who took over your great-grandmother’s Christmas Cookie Bakery, whom you think you dislike at first, but also feel weirdly attracted to, or the handsome single dad who moved to town after his divorce with his perfect, adorable kid to help his father run the Christmas Tree Farm, or your high school crush who never left town because small town life is all he ever desired, and who you now find out always had a thing for you as well, and then I might get one final hug goodbye before I can kindly bugger off back to the city to live my sad, lonely, Christmas-less life.”

“Sweetheart,” Remus says. “Just how many Christmas movies have you watched?”

Sirius shrugs. “I wanted to be well-prepared for celebrating Christmas in a small town.”

“Okay,” Remus says, letting go of Sirius’ hand in favour of cupping his face between his hands. “Then let me make one thing very clear to you. I love that we have an excuse not to put up a Christmas tree every year, because honestly, it seems like a hell of a lot of work for just one day, I love it when you get all passionate about work, I love how ridiculously sexy you look in those designer clothes of yours, I love how smart, determined and ambitious you are, I love you. Okay? You. Just as the dramatic, slightly vain, overeager city boy you are.”

Sirius smiles. “I know. And I’m sorry. It’s just that before coming here, I never considered just from how different backgrounds we come, and I suddenly got really afraid of losing you. But that’s only because I love you. So much.”

“You’re such a sweetheart,” Remus says, and then he chuckles. “And don’t worry, you’re not getting rid of me that easy.”

“Hi, sorry to interrupt, but the door was open.”

Remus and Sirius both turn towards the door, where a tall, handsome man with reddish hair and a freckled face is standing, wearing working clothes and muddy boots.

“I’m here to deliver a Christmas tree for Hope Lupin, and I- Remus?”

“Fabian!”

Fabian laughs. “Oh my god, it really is you! I didn’t know you were in town! I haven’t seen you since... when has it been?”

“It must’ve been at our high school prom!”

“Right!” Fabian smiles. “Just before you left to follow your big city-dreams.”

Remus chuckles. “So did you! I thought you were in New York?”

“Nah,” Fabian shrugs. “Big city life really wasn’t for me. And I wanted to be closer to my family as well. I’m now helping da out at the Christmas Tree Farm, and I get to spend a lot of time with my nephews as well.”

Two red-headed heads peak out from behind Fabian’s leg. Both small boys stare at Remus wide-eyed, one of them clutching a stuffed dragon to his chest, the other with his thumb in his mouth. Fabian ruffles their hair. “This are Charlie and Bill, helping their uncle Fabian out for the day.”

“They’re adorable! Gideon’s?”

“Molly’s,” Fabian says. “She has a baby as well, and twins on the way! It’s amazing to be here to watch them grow up.”

Remus smiles softly. “So I reckon you never regretted your decision?”

“Not for a moment,” Fabian replies, looking down at Charlie and Bill. “Besides, I couldn’t let Gid become the favourite uncle, now could I?”

Remus laughs, shaking his head. “You haven’t changed at all!”

Fabian studies Remus for a moment. “You have. But in a good way. You look... great.”

There’s a moment of silence. Then Fabian looks away and scrapes his throat. “How long are you in town for?”

“Just for the Holidays, I’m afraid,” Remus replies.

“Well, we should definitely meet for a coffee and catch up!” Fabian suggests.

Sirius looks from Fabian to Remus and back to Fabian.

“No,” he says pointedly.

He walks up to Fabian, grabs his arm and starts walking him back to the front door. “No, absolutely not, not happening, no.”

Fabian looks stunned when Sirius deposits him on the front porch, where Charlie and Bill quickly join him, each grabbing a leg.

“I’m sorry, Fabian!” Remus calls from over Sirius’ shoulder, though unable to contain his laughter. “We’ll talk later and I’ll explain!” He manages to say right before Sirius closes the door in Fabian’s face.

“But first,” Remus says once the door is closed, pulling Sirius towards him by the lapels of his jacket. “I need to get it through to my idiotic boyfriend’s thick head that in my Christmas movie, he’s not a side-character.”

#my tumblr writing #wolfstar christmas fics #wolfstar christmas #wolfstar holiday fluff #wolfstar #wolfstar fanfiction #wolfstar fic #marauders #marauders fanfiction #marauders fic #sirius black #remus lupin #remus x sirius #hope lupin #christmas movies #cheesy christmas movie plot #insecure sirius

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doverstar · 3 months

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A paltry 3 people have asked me to expand on my opinion that Clara (who I like) is bad for the Doctor, so here I go below.

Strap in, this will be long. I disliked Clara back when her tenure was happening live, but upon rewatching the show now, with my husband, I completely changed my mind and grew to really appreciate her and cried when she died. I like Clara. But I came to this conclusion you’re about to read during that rewatch. In a nutshell, Clara and the Doctor’s relationship is unhealthy. Stop wait let me explain-

*hands you the nutshell* First. The show itself acknowledges that this Doctor/companion relationship is something unprecedented and ugly and bad for both of them towards the end. Why? Is it Clara? YES AND NO children. Clara as a companion, personality-wise, is not any different or special than many Classic Who companions, and Jenna Coleman is ridiculously likeable as Clara. I know Clara is The Impossible Girl (because Moffat can’t write 100% ordinary people), and I know she has met all of the Doctors up to Twelve at least once, but take away her decision to throw herself into his timeline – take away the fact that the Master literally orchestrated events so that Clara and the Doctor would travel together because their personalities would create something dangerous and unhealthy in the end – and Clara herself really is just a twenty-something who wants to travel and acts like she’s the coolest person in the room. So Clara herself on the surface wasn’t the catalyst for the relationship becoming unhealthy. At least not the way she was written in the beginning. At first, it’s the Doctor making big Red Flag decisions. And I say that with so much love towards Matt Smith’s Doctor, who is dearly missed in these trying times. The Doctor meets the first version of Clara (from his perspective) as a barmaid/nanny in 20th century London. She’s exceptional (and unnecessarily flirty because Moffat can’t write women who don’t lust after the protagonist) and the Doctor invites her to travel with him. This is huge because the Doctor has just spent who-knows-how-long mourning the Ponds, who he was not ready to lose and who he had grown increasingly afraid of losing before he lost them. He sits on a cloud and has sworn off of travelling or helping anyone because he is that sick of losing people. He’s hurting and he doesn’t want to go through something like that again. The Ponds were just the latest in a very long line of lost people—remember, directly before Amy and Rory, the Doctor had to say goodbye to Donna, Martha, Wilf, Mickey, Jackie, Jack Harkness, Sarah Jane Smith oh my goodness, and Rose Tyler. And then he loses the Ponds. It’s agony. And it just keeps happening to him over and over again, and the Eleventh Doctor is especially vulnerable because he’s so tender-hearted and raw from Tennant’s losses, and this is the first time he’s lost companions with this face. The Eleventh Doctor is literally described by Moffat as the incarnation of the Doctor who chooses to forget. He’s consistently not addressing things like Gallifrey, the Time War, Rose, Donna, Martha, etc. When he’s reminded of them, the only thing he really reacts with is a strained admission of guilt (Let’s Kill Hitler and The Doctor’s Wife, anyone?). Eleven does not focus on what he has lost and worked really, really, selfishly-at-times hard to preserve the safety of the Ponds in particular. And then he loses them and throws a Doctor pity party on a cloud in a top hat.

Enter Nanny Clara, and she reminds him of what he’s missing and how things should be and helps him get his mojo back. Great, good. But she also reminds him of this one chick in the Dalek Asylum who begged the Doctor for help and was already dead. And the Doctor not only loves a mystery, but hates losing (losing people in particular). So he invites this Clara to come away with him and begin his never-ending adventure all over again, because she seems perfect for the job. And then she dies. Just like Oswin the crazy Dalek. Just like Amy and Rory, and the DoctorDonna, and Rose Tyler on the list of fatalities during the incident at Canary Wharf. Like Adric. But the Doctor doesn’t give up and pout in the 20th century this time. Instead, he gets determined to figure out what is connecting Nanny Clara and Dalek Clara, and determined to find a version of this mystery girl who can travel with him and not die this time. Third time’s the charm.

He finds Clara Oswald in the present, saves her life, freaks her out with his desperation to befriend her, and then she finally comes away with him. It’s played incredibly sweet specifically because it’s the Doctor trying to entice a companion and working for it, because he’s already seen she’s the one—twice—and is determined to keep her. This is an inversion of what usually happens, which is that the companion has to prove themselves worthy of the position to the Doctor during a meet-cute adventure. Classy. Fun. But we see from that point forward that the Doctor is kind of…weirdly obsessed with Clara. And not just because she’s appeared as three different-but-the-same people in his life lately, but because he’s the man who forgets and he lost people and never deals with that, and now he has this girl who he’s been unable to save twice before and he wants to make sure that doesn’t happen again. What’s worse, Clara becomes “the ultimate companion”, saving the Doctor throughout all his lifetimes by jumping into his timeline so she’s technically companion to all of him at one point. This is bad because not only is it not fair (as the gamers call it, it’s OP, yes I’m hip with the kids) it solidifies to the Doctor that she is the culmination of all his past failures in companion tenures.

She’s not the ultimate companion; she’s the ultimate do-over.

He’s obsessed with keeping Clara safe. He’s obsessed with keeping her with him. It’s not because Clara is this gorgeous, super-special, Not Like Other Girl(s). It’s not because he’s madly in love with her (though Moffat wants repeatedly to be able to imply that without properly saying it because he can’t write a female who is not in lust with the protagonist, hey let go of my soapbox I’m using that-). It’s not even because he lost two Claras previously and he feels really bad about that. It's because he’s projecting every single failure to keep a companion onto this one girl. The Doctor is trying so hard not to be controlled by the circumstances around him. He is trying so hard to keep this one, just this one, with him this time that he kind of turns into a withdrawal maniac when she’s in danger or choosing to do anything other than travel with him. The Master (Missy) orchestrated events so that Clara and the Doctor would be able to travel together because it was obvious the two of them would destroy each other in the end. The Doctor was such a person (Eleven) at such a time in his long life that could not stand the idea of losing one more friend and would do anything to keep history from repeating itself. He has to have Clara. He can’t quit Clara. She’s all of them. She’s everyone. And poor Clara—Clara is great, but being with the Doctor brings out only the worst in her. The woman is obsessed with herself. She was better off before he came around! Keeping pace with the Doctor, traveling the universe with him, feeling like she had something with him no one else could touch—all of that inflated her sense of importance; she has to be special. She has to be in control. She’s bossy and confident and as long as the Doctor is around, she’s the most incredible human being in her species and he is lucky to have her. That’s how he makes her feel—because it’s obvious he can’t let her go. (“Traveling with you made me feel really special.”) And worse, Clara can’t let him go—but not even specifically the Doctor. The Doctor, to Clara, is only as valuable as he makes her feel. It’s very sad because the two of them are kind of convinced they’re best friends and that’s why they’re together, but that’s not it. They’re not best friends. They’re toxic.

(Best friends do not trick other best friends, lie to them, threaten their way of life and only home to get their boyfriends back and then say “I’m sorry but I’d do it again”. Best friends do not notice that their best friend is there for them in spite of that line of action and then still disregard their best friend’s safety and needs in order to get what they themselves want above all else. Death in Heaven, I hate you.) And! Clara was so rattled by Eleven changing into Twelve. The sweet young man who flirted with her and made her feel so romantically important was gone, now there’s this grisly old fella who is rude to her and makes disparaging personal remarks about her physical appearance, and who doesn’t like hugs. But they’re not done. Because now the relationship has changed even further—we went from “he likes me and he should because I am Important” and “she’s staying with me and she should because I am gonna keep her safe and it won’t be like last time(s) and that’s why she’s special, that’s why she’s Impossible” to “I’m with him because he needs me and because I am Important like he is” and “she’s staying with me and she should because I am gonna keep her safe and she’s still special and she’s still Impossible and I can’t lose her no matter what”.

Clara is controlling and the Doctor is controlling. Missy would have you believe the Doctor won’t be controlled, but that’s just another form of control. The Doctor can’t stop travelling with Clara. Twelve will not let her rest, Twelve will not let her die. Clara will not stay home, Clara will not put anyone or anything else before herself, before traveling and saving the day and feeling special. In fact, it’s gotten to the point where the Doctor treats Clara with such reverence, she actually believes she’s 100% his equal and should be him. That was not a typo. I did not say she should be like him. I said she thinks she should be him. It gets worse and worse as time goes on. Clara thinks she can be the Doctor. She can travel anywhere, she can do whatever she wants, and she will always win. Because she’s important. Because she’s special. She doesn’t realize that she can’t, and that that’s not who the Doctor is anyway. And the Doctor watches Clara get eaten up by this addiction to travel, addiction to heroics. Clara loses Danny and that’s her last tether to normal life. It’s sad because Danny was twice the man anybody expected him to be and he was almost there, almost good enough for Clara to stay and be safe with. But the Doctor and time and space are a tough act to follow, and when Danny died, Clara felt she was owed better. She wasn’t angry because Danny was young and she loved him and she wanted better for him. She was angry because as a time traveling hero, she deserved to have her boyfriend alive and not hit by an ordinary car in the middle of an ordinary day on Earth. (But she wouldn’t have stayed with him anyway, and she wasted so much time with him treating him like he wasn’t special enough and then it was too late. If the Doctor had not been part of the equation, treating her like she hung the stars and making her believe it, they could have been happy. She could have been okay.)

More adventures, more close calls. At this point everything likeable about Clara in the past has faded away because she is just not the same person anymore. She’s ruined. And it’s her fault, and it’s the Doctor’s fault. Clara isn’t addicted to travel or heroics. Now she’s addicted to feeling important. She’s addicted to being special. And she needs to feel that so badly that she decides she is the Doctor and can do what he does and ignores the danger and ignores the rules and the risks and what it might do to the Doctor to lose her, and she faces the stupid raven. This girl legit dies a painful, scary death because she thought she could do whatever she wanted, control every situation, and it couldn’t possibly turn out badly because she’s Clara Oswald, the Impossible Girl. Did the Doctor ever give her any idea that that wasn’t true? Didn’t he worship the ground she marched on? She dies for it. And the Doctor, bless his poisoned hearts, cannot handle it. No way, it is not happening again. Not Clara! He’s avoided her death every other time. It’s not even about Clara anymore—Clara is actually a pretty rotten friend to the Doctor at this point; he’s nothing to her, not really, just a means to an end (and you can tell because when push comes to shove, she will choose herself and time and space over him, and over any sense at all, but if anyone asks, that’s her best friend and do you know why? because it’s very special to be the Doctor’s best friend). It’s not about her, it’s about them. About Adric, and River, and Rose, and Donna, and Tegan and Susan and Ace and Vicki. It’s about Ian and Barbara and Wilfred Mott. Not this time, universe! Not this time, Clara! "I have a duty of care." "Which you take very seriously, I know." Twelve goes through the most contrived, horrendous, comically-lengthened torture Moffat can think of (Heaven Sent) and comes out on the other side only to bring Clara back from the dead. Think of that. The woman is actually very long dead at this point and the Doctor braves literal Gallifrey to pull her out of the moment before the end. He breaks every single rule he has ever, ever had. And he does it violently, are you telling me for real that Clara is the best companion for him? She drives him to do right, to be the greatest he can be? She helps, she brings him back to who he’s always tried to be? No she doesn’t. She drives him to total depraved madman status because they can’t quit each other, and no, not the cutesy quippy Madman With A Box type of madman.

What makes Clara so different from all the other people the Doctor had to lose and who remained lost? Nothing at all. Nothing except that the Doctor decided this one isn’t going anywhere. Because she is every companion to him. This poor woman has a sack full of the Doctor’s past-companion baggage tied to her back but to her it feels light, because he treats it outwardly like a pedestal. So he “brings her back” and she figures out what he’s done and what he went through to do it, and they both learn that their relationship is actually so toxic that together, they would destroy the universe just to have what they want. Because that’s what they bring out in each other. The Doctor has to keep Clara safe, and Clara has to be special. They’re so unhealthy it affects everything around them, to the point where the Time Lords literally have a name for their destructive dynamic in their prophecies called the Hybrid (go lie down, Moffat). And the Master knew that because Time Lord…stuff…and deliberately ensured that Clara and the Doctor get together.

Luckily the Doctor is still, somewhere, miraculously, himself—so he recognizes at last that this is going too far and it’s bad, it’s all bad. The only solution, because he still can’t just return Clara to her fate, is to wipe her memory (hello Donna) of him so that they aren’t together but she also doesn’t have to die. So that he still doesn’t have to deal with losing people. And then the very worst part, writing-wise, happens. Clara complains and decides she must be allowed her memories, she’s entitled to them (too special to lose her memories!) but goodie for her, she doesn’t lose them. The Doctor, instead, loses his memories of her. Now, this is ultimately a good thing for him because of the horse I beat to death over there, don’t make eye contact, but—how sad is it that he still has to lose? That he still can’t keep someone, even after all that carnage? The healing process is beginning and he’ll be a better man than ever after this, but take a moment to mourn because that really sucks for him.

Okay here’s the worst part—Clara lives. And not only does Clara live, Clara lives forever. Clara is immortal. Clara gets her own Tardis. Clara gets her own immortal companion! (Ashildr.) Who learned something? Anyone? Not Clara! Who grew as a person around here? No one? Not Clara! Poor Clara Oswald, who started out nicely enough and likeable enough, at least on level with Classic Who companions, is ruined in the end. She gets exactly what she wants. She’s the Ultimate Companion! She’s met all the Doctors. He even fancied her at one point, well, how could he not? She didn’t die, she didn’t learn anything, she didn’t even really grow, she just got worse. Danny died and the Doctor lost, but Clara got to keep her memories, lose her mortality, and gain her own infinite time travelling machine. She became the Doctor. Yippee. Neither of them were made better by the other’s company. Rose Tyler said more than once, at least in three different ways, that the Doctor’s influence, that the opportunity to travel in time and space and help, brings out the extraordinary qualities ordinary people already have. He taps into their potential to be better, even better than him sometimes. The human factor, I call it. And they inspire him to be better, which is important for someone who is essentially immortal and can essentially go anywhere and do anything he likes. Wilfred said it, too, that Donna was better with the Doctor. But the codependency, the noxious way the Doctor and Clara interacted with each other—their whole relationship—it’s devoid of that improving quality. It wasn’t at first, at least not on Clara’s side, but that’s what it turned out to be. At least Moffat acknowledges that in Hell Bent, but he does it more in a way that is trying to communicate to you that that’s how deep and special the Doctor and Clara’s relationship is, isn’t it so important, isn’t it the best companion/Doctor relationship ever? Isn’t she hot, isn’t he whipped? Have you ever seen such devotion? Gag me. He doesn’t say it like it’s a bad thing. He’s just trying to win the 60-year-long companion race. And Clara and the Doctor both suffer for it.

I still like Clara. I blame the writing entirely for how things turned out, because I genuinely, really enjoyed her this last rewatch, and I wish that she’d met a better end. I wish she’d stayed with Danny and figured out what Danny was trying to tell her all along—that normal life is precious and worth it, and worth giving up the big sparkly universe for if you find someone else to live for besides yourself. I wish she’d sacrificed herself to save the Doctor in the present, not just throughout his past, because she proved that at one point she was capable of that. I wish she’d come to terms with the fact that she couldn’t control everything, couldn’t have what she wanted every time, and then chose to learn from that and use what she could control for the benefit of others (including the Doctor). I wish she’d gotten out the way Martha had gotten out. And I really, really wish the Doctor hadn’t had to prolong the pain he was always going to feel when someone else had to say goodbye. Anyway, that’s the essay a trifling three lovely people asked me for. Not really an essay, just word vomit. If you read it all, please let me know what you think! I could be wrong.

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withacapitalp · 1 year

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I won’t wish to be yours (or for you to be mine)

Read it on ao3

Second Part

Eddie was never going to be able to stay.

Logically, Steve understood that. He understood it, and he agreed. No matter what the government tried to spin, no matter what Hopper told them, the people of Hawkins thought Eddie was a murderer. A boy like Eddie had been guilty since the first day he arrived, and this was the inevitable conclusion.

Still, there was knowing he was eventually going to leave, and then there was watching Eddie put the last boxes in his van and cling on tight to his uncle.

July 14th. Eddie had stayed ten days past 4th of July. Just long enough to make sure they were all going to be okay on the first anniversary. It was kind. It was thoughtful.

It made Steve wish he knew how to hate him.

“Okay, so as long as you stick to your timetable, you should get to Chicago by tonight. You have a reservation at this hotel already, so try to get there around check in time, okay? They even have parking in the back,” Nancy rattled off, handing Eddie a thick folder of papers.

When Eddie had told the five of them he was leaving, she had launched into research mode. It was the way she coped, and it was productive. In just one month she had managed to put together a full dossier of the exact route Eddie had to take to get to New York, even found him a few garages outside of the city in towns where no one would have ever heard his name.

“Thanks, Drew,” Eddie said with a grin, patting Wayne twice on the shoulder and dragging Nancy into a hug, “Actually, thanks to all of you. You guys have been super helpful.”

They had been. Nancy planned, Jonathan had started putting together an album of all the pictures he had taken, Argyle began cultivating the perfect stash for Eddie to bring with him, and Robin made about a dozen mixtapes of ‘real music’ for him to listen to.

Steve had grieved.

He hadn’t done a damn thing to help or make this process easier. Robin had done her best to try and make things better, she always did, but it didn't help that she was also leaving in less than a month. All of them were. Off to colleges all across the country, while Steve stayed here all by himself.

He was supposed to at least be able to keep Eddie. But Steve never really got to keep good things, so he should have expected this.

He turned away from the rest so they wouldn’t see the scowl on his face, kicking at some of the weeds stubbornly poking out from the gravel outside of Wayne’s trailer. The kids had already come by to say their goodbyes, leaving before they had to watch Eddie go. They had offered for Steve to come with them, and he should have taken it. It had felt wrong at the moment to be the only teen to not be there to wish Eddie farewell, but now Steve felt like his world was collapsing, and he just wanted to go home.

Never mind that his home was standing about 20 feet away from him, laughing with the rest of his friends. Never mind that his home was leaving for good, never to return, and Steve was probably never going to see him again.

“Hey, easy on the flowers,” Eddie said with a laugh, pulling away from the rest. He squatted low, picking the dandelion and examining it, “Still looks good,”

Steve hummed, unable to make words come.

“Make a wish,” Eddie whispered, holding the fuzzy flower up to Steve’s lips. He took a sharp breath in, hating the way his chest felt like it was about to cave in.

I wish the people in this town would fuck off so you didn’t have to go.

I wish everything would just stay exactly as it is.

I wish you would stay.

I wish I wasn’t so selfish.

I wish I knew how to tell you I love you.

Because he did. Steve loved Eddie in a way he thought he was never going to be able to love again. He loved Eddie so much it hurt, and he had started to think that Eddie might even love him right back, but then it had all broken down.

Now Eddie was going, and Steve had missed his chance.

Steve banished all of those stupid greedy thoughts, pulling away just enough to blow out a heavy short gust, watching the seeds dance away, merrily floating across the trailer park, unaware they carried no wishes with them.

“What’d you wish for?” Eddie asked.

Steve let himself look at Eddie. Really, honestly, look. He memorized the wave of Eddie’s curls, and the long slow slope of his nose. Steve mentally sketched out the sharp jawline, and the way his eyes sparkled. He committed it all to a place in his brain where Eddie could stay young and beautiful forever.

That was the Eddie Steve could love forever, that was the Eddie that would stay.

He could let this one go.

“That you’d be happy, wherever you’re going,” He whispered, pulling Eddie into a far too tight hug. He rested his chin on Eddie’s shoulder and closed his eyes, dragging in a long breath and savoring the smell of Eddie’s cheap, terrible, 2-in-1 shampoo conditioner.

Eddie held him back just as tight, his forehead nestled in Steve’s neck.

“I’m gonna call. Every day,” He promised, and Steve forced down the scoff that wanted to come up.

That’s what everyone always said. I’ll call, I’ll write, we won’t lose touch. It never happened. His own parents hadn’t even managed to keep calling, why would Eddie be any different?

No, Steve knew the truth. They would call every day for a while, maybe even multiple times a day. Then they would slowly go to every other day, then once a week, once a month, just on birthdays and special occasions. And, eventually, Eddie would forget his name, or Steve would only be fond memories that lived in high school yearbooks and yellowed old photo albums.

Eddie would forget that he had maybe started to love Steve.

It was going to happen with Eddie, then Robin, then Jonathan, then Argyle, and finally Nancy. It would happen with the kids when they finally went off on their own, and Joyce and Hopper when there were no more people tying them down to Hawkins. Everyone would leave, because that’s what people did.

They would leave, and Steve would stay, and he needed to learn how to be okay with that. He needed to figure out how to get over losing people.

And he needed to be alone to learn how to do that.

“Does that sound good, Stevie?”

Oh. Right. Eddie was expecting a response.

“Yeah. You better. I’ll be waiting by the phone,” Steve said, hating how much that was going to be true. Eddie laughed like it was a joke, but it was the god honest truth. Steve would wait by the phone every single day, and one day the phone wouldn’t ring again.

He swallowed down the bitterness that was rising, untangling himself from Eddie’s arms and interlocking their fingers. This was the last time he was going to hold this hand, the last time he was going to feel those rings. He needed to savor it.

They walked back to the others as one single unit. There was another round of hugs, a few well hidden tears, and then Eddie was getting into his van. For the first time there was an air of nervousness, and he glanced around the group, his eyes landing on Steve and staying there.

Eddie wanted reassurance. He needed a patented Steve Pep Talk, a few words to tell him that he was making the right decision.

Well, he was making the right decision for him, but Steve couldn’t do it. He couldn’t tell Eddie it was okay to go. His heart was already breaking in two as it was, giving Eddie the last push he needed would shatter it completely.

Then Robin’s hand was sneaking into his, and she was giving him a look, and Steve couldn’t be selfish anymore.

“Don’t forget us when you get big and famous,” Steve said with a wave, all of them pretending his voice hadn’t cracked even a bit. Eddie gave him a beaming smile and a two fingered salute, starting up the van with the usual roar. He carefully backed out of the drive, leaving the trailer park with an obnoxiously long beep of his horn and a waving hand.

And he was gone.

He was actually gone.

Steve didn’t bother to stick around and chat with the rest. He had given the last bit of his care away to Eddie, and now he just wanted to curl up in his bed. Steve had to learn to live with this pain, and the sooner he started, the better.

Robin followed him without words, and he loved her for it. They had already discussed their plans. They were going to get rip roaring drunk, and Steve was going to have a good long cry, and then they would eat ice cream. It wasn’t enough, but it was better than being by himself before he had to be.

“I’m sorry,” Robin said softly as they got into his Beemer.

“Don’t be. He’ll be okay.” Steve replied automatically, starting the car and pulling out, going the same way as Eddie. A wild crazy part of him almost wanted to speed to catch up, cut Eddie off, tell him not to go.

Steve kept the car below 30, barely crawling on a street he normally flew down.

“He will be,” Robin said carefully. The unspoken ‘I’m worried you won’t be’ sat between them, heavy and oh so painful.

“I will be,” Steve said stubbornly, ignoring the look Robin gave him. He put the radio on so they didn’t have to talk anymore, hating himself for wishing that he had wished for Eddie to stay.

#Steve harrington #Eddie munson #steddie #Steddie drabble #steddie ficlet #robin buckley #stobin friendship #platonic stobin #platonic soulmates steve and robin #Nancy wheeler #Jonathan byers #argyle stranger things #platonic edancy #I PROMISE IM GONNA FIX IT #Mack knows how #but till then #Everyone go listen to 11:11 by Ben Barnes #Liam speaks up #Writing(withacapitalW)

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lvrhughes · 1 year

Text

You're Hurt, Let Me Help | T. Zegras

pairing: Trevor Zegras x f!reader

word count: 2.1k

summary: After being hired by the ducks at the teams medic, everyone but Trevor loves you. No way knowing why Trevor had never liked you, until Jamie figured it out and Trevor gets hurt in a game.

warnings: small injuries?

requested: no

not my gif!

Ever since you’d been hired to work as a medic on the ducks, Trevor hated you. He would actively avoid you, if he got hurt? He’d find the other medic, if they weren’t working? He’d lie through his teeth, say he was fine even if anyone could see he was in pain.

There was never a clear reason why he hated you, you’d always try to be nice to him, just like with everyone else. Yet he still didn’t like you. It confused the entire team, you were so nice to all of them and you were gorgeous to all of them too, so why did Trevor hate you? No one knew, not even Jamie.

You were in your office, filing some leftover paperwork you’d found, practice happening in the rest of the arena. Soft music was playing in the room while you tidied around, just killing time, until your peaceful cleaning was broken by a knock on your office door.

“Come in.” you yelled to whoever was on the other side, that person being Jamie Drysdale.

You looked up to see him enter, greeting him with a “Hi Jamie” and a smile.

“I need to talk to you.”

“Okay, what’s up Jaim?” using the nickname you’d always used for him, since meeting him.

“Trevor, he’s ugh I don’t know,” he ran a hand through his hair while you stared back at him “I don’t want you to take this wrong at all because we all love you and never want you to leave, but Trevor since you’ve gotten here, I don’t even know how to say it. It’s like he’s completely different. He stopped telling me everything when you showed up and know he’s fighting more in practice. And I don’t know-”

Jamie was cut off by the loud slamming of a door and the storming towards your office. Jamie looked almost terrified, you probably looked the same.

The door opened quickly, pent up aggression being released on the door. It hit the wall, making a loud sound causing you and Jamie to flinch. Trevor’s eyes were dark, not looking at anyone.

“Jamie, let’s go.” There was no asking tone in his voice and a few seconds later, when he finally saw the fear in his best friend's eyes, did he add a “please?” at the end.

Jamie just nodded, waving Trevor to go ahead while he bid goodbye to you.

“What happened?” the first words out of Jamie’s mouth when he walked into the locker rooms to see Trevor packing all his gear away.

“They kicked me from practice.” Trevor was very dry with his words, not going into detail about why.

Jamie knew he’d need to know at some point, they don’t just kick you for nothing, but he’d find out when Trevor had cooled down a bit more. So he just nodded at Trevor, leading them out to the car to drive them home.

An hour had passed since arriving home, Trevor seemingly more calm now, just watching tv now.

“So care to tell me what got you kicked?”

Trevor whipped his head to glare at Jamie. Trevor opened his mouth but was cut off by Jamie.

“Don’t speak if you're going to get mad.” Trevor knew Jamie didn’t like him getting mad especially with nowhere to take out his anger right now if he did.

So he took a breath, tried to stay as calm as possible, and tried to explain everything to Jamie. Everything he’d been keeping a secret, bottled up inside for months.

“Some of the guys, they were talking about intentionally getting hurt and shit to go see Y/n, but they were saying disgusting shit about her! Like how good she looked in the little black dress she wore to dux in tux and worse and I couldn’t take it so I snapped. They shouldn’t talk about her like that, she’s so nice, it’s fucked up.” his rant continued on, majorly talking about you.

When he did stop to breathe a bit Jamie was quick to put his two cents in, with the new conclusion he’d drawn.

“You’re in love with her.”

That shocked Trevor, knocked the air out of him, shocked. Trevor choked on air when Jamie said that, coughing after.

“No I am not.”

“Ohh dude you so are!”

Trevor didn’t answer, he didn’t need to. He wouldn’t admit it to himself that he fell for the team’s medic, but clearly Jamie would tell it to him. He didn’t say anything else that night, just walked to his room and laid there for hours. He slept, maybe, 4 hours, and that was a struggle. His mind was racing, filled with thoughts of you, if he was in love with you, how could Jamie tell? fuck, what did Jamie know, he’s not in love with you. That’s what he told himself all night, yet when he fell asleep you haunted his dream, kissing him in his dreams, teasing him. Those were the dreams Trevor woke up in a panic from, freaking out about how he was dreaming about you, how he hates you. freaking out because if he hates you, why is he dreaming about kissing you?

He’d made it through the rest of practices before the game without being kicked out, a little thing but he was happy.

“Yeah i had to go see Y/n after Trevor’s little tantrum, she asked what happened i just told her he went psycho. She didn’t laugh or anything, she seemed tense.”

Trevor was eavesdropping he’d admit but hearing that you were tense talking about him, it sparked a little something in him that thought maybe you cared about him. Despite him being such a dick. Oh God he’s fucked up, he was an absolute asshole to the sweetest girl he’d ever met, he had no chance with her, so fuck it why be nice now. He still hated her.

Your office was peaceful today, no storming, no one knocking, no random paperwork left on your desk. You had your music on quietly, humming along, waiting for someone to come in like you inevitably knew they would.

And they did, they being Jamie.

“Hey Jam.”

“Hi Y/n/n.” he greeted back with a smile. “So I've got some updates on Trevor.”

“Jamie, why are you giving me updates on trevor?” The confusion and slight annoyance in your voice evident.

“Because he’s in love with you.” He said it so casually you almost choked on the water you had been taking a sip of.

“What the fuck Jamie, no he is not.”

Jamie laughed a little.

“That’s what he said too, but I can read him like an open book by now, he’s so in love with you. You know he got in that scrap at the other practice because some guys weren’t talking so lovely about you?”

You took a minute, absorbing the information. No fucking way did he love you, Jamie had to be wrong.

“No. Thanks Jamie for this information. I’ll message you if I ever need drama again.” and with that you shooed him out of your office.

The next game was an aggressive one, you couldn’t count how many people were slammed into the boards that night. But one particularly aggressive hit caught your attention right before it happened, you knew it’d be bad. Yet it was worse than you imagined, the opposing team's player slammed Trevor into the boards, having him at a horrible angle, Trevor went down fast, grabbing his arm. The whistles were blown and Trevor was helped off the ice, being practically dragged to your office.

When he did show up in your office he tried to leave, as soon as the others who brought him here left he was up and saying he was fine, he needed to go back and play more.

“Trevor, you're hurt, let me help you.”

The gentle tone of your voice made him want to melt right there, your voice was so calming it made sense why everyone trusted you. So before he’d collapse of pain or the mix of pain and you voice, he sat back down.

You walked up to him, he stayed still for once.

“Are you okay if I touch your arm?” he nodded, letting you reach out to find what happened.

When Trevor winces you immediately pull your hands away, making sure he was okay before continuing.

“So it seems like you might’ve fractured a bone, dislocated your shoulder, and your elbow.”

“Fuck” he just mumbled quietly under his breath.

“Trev, I think you should go to the hospital. I know I can make you and I know you hate me but please, I can fix the dislocated shoulder and elbow but the fracture. I don’t have the right things to fix that and I don't even know if you fractured anything, it’s hard to tell without an x-ray.”

Your voice was like music to his ears, and the way his nickname rolled off your tongue had him weak.

“Can you fix the dislocated parts then I'll go?”

You nodded warning him it’d probably hurt. He knew it would and he knew that if they did this at the hospital they might’ve given him something for the pain but he wanted more time. So he dealt with the pain the best he could, his hands gripping the first thing he could reach, it wasn’t long but damn did it hurt.

“You're all done, now please Trev, go to the hospital.” It sounded like a slight beg.

“I’m sorry.” was all he said, leaving you confused.

“What?”

“I’m sorry, I’ve been a dick to you and you’ve done anything but be nice to me.”

“Trev, it’s okay-” he was not okay with you just pushing it off.

“No it’s not, I should've just manned up and admitted it to myself.” that left you almost more confused than when he started.

“What’re you talking about?”

He didn’t answer, staying looking at the ground before rising from where he was sitting, he walked over to you, his hand rising to cup your cheek.

He knew he didn’t absolutely fuck up when you leaned into his touch, but that didn’t help his nerves.

“I think i love you.” he was barely above a whisper, had you not been right in front of him you would’ve never heard him. You felt a smile grow on your face, letting your eyes meet trevors. He looked terrified, he looked like he was prepared for you to punch him or yell at him.

Yet you did neither, somehow shocking him by leaning up to kiss him.

He wrapped his free arm around your face, your arms wrapping around his neck.

“I think i love you too” you said when you pulled away for air, making a smile grow on his face.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah” you pecked his lips once more before placing your hand against his chest when tried to lean in for more. “No no, you’ve got to go to a hospital, you said you would.”

“I’ll go, if you come with me?” those damn puppy eyes made you want to say yes immediately but you were at work, until the game ends you can’t leave.

“Trev, I can't right now. I'm still working.”

“No you're not.” He was so proud of that statement, he noticed a couple minutes ago the game ended. Sure enough turning around the final score flashed on the screen and just the reporters were left talking. Looking back at him he had the biggest smile on his face.

“My car or yours?” you asked, giggling slightly.

“Yours, I’ll message Jamie to drive mine home.”

You nodded, moving away from him while he messaged his roommate to gather your things.

So that night was spent driving Trevor to the hospital, waiting with him in the hospital, learning he did fracture something but it wasn’t major and would heal on its own, and him begging for you to stay the night with him. He even offered to kick Jamie out for the night. You did not approve of that offer.

Trevor ended up going home with you, stopping by his place to check Jamie had made it home safely and to grab his clothes. He told Jamie what happened before running out the door with his things into your vehicle, and finally you two passed out with each other. Trevor’s hands never left you the entire night, and he’d never say it yet but the sight of you wearing his t-shirt made him want to do anything you’d ever ask of him.

He’d later take you out on two dates before asking you to be his official girlfriend, with you saying yes in a heartbeat. Jamie did still love to gloat about being right from time to time but he was happy his best friend was happy.

#trevor zegras x reader #trevor zegras #trevor zegras fic #anahiem ducks #nhl imagine #nhl one shot #mads writings!#trevor zegras one shot

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gucciwins · 2 years

Text

because of me?

Will Harry be able to find his way back to his family?

Word count: 6548

A/N: hi friends! you all wanted a part two so i hope you all read the conclusion to the styles family as they navigate through a hard time. please come tell me what you thought i really enjoyed writing this part even if it took me a month to decide what direction i wanted to go.

Warnings: angst (happy ending)

Part One: why is daddy sad?

_____

After Harry left, Y/N wasn’t sure how to feel.

A part of her felt guilty for not having done anything sooner, and another felt abandoned because, in three months, he managed to leave them with a goodbye and a kiss to each of them. Saylor, the oldest, understood that Harry wouldn’t be there anymore and that he might be happy for a change. While Lucy understood he was going on a long trip and returning in a few weeks.

Except, a few weeks turned into two months. The US tour kept getting extended as fans begged for more and more dates. There was an album to release soon, and Y/N knew nothing about it when most times, Harry was excited to share his ideas with her. She was always one of the first to listen, and now this new album, she did not have a single idea of what it was about.

Harry’s calls were not frequent, but when he did call, he talked to the kids for hours, sometimes draining her phone battery and cutting him off mid-story. Lucy, Y/N noticed, held on to Harry’s every word. Her eyes would widen in amazement when he’d show them the stage and even sitting in Sarah’s seat in front of the drums. While Saylor sat there asking a few questions and listening to his dad. There was a disconnect from Saylor; with Y/N, he was her affectionate and bubbly son, but with Harry, he became silent, almost closed off she wanted to say.

“Saylor?”

“Yeah, mum.”

“Do you want to make cookies with me?”

“Brownies?” He countered.

Y/N chuckled, having expected the answers. “Yes, baby. I have everything ready.”

“Can you tie my apron, Mumma?”

Saylor quickly grabbed the apron Y/N leaves hanging in the kitchen for both him and Lucy when they have the sudden urge to help her in the kitchen. Y/N guides Saylor in turning around and makes a knot for him, tight enough it won’t be loose but easy enough for Saylor to tug on and take off when they finish.

He turns around with a dimpled smile, “ready, Mumma!”

His apron reads “Chef Saylor,” embroidered in red thread on his chest. It was a gift from Gemma, and she made sure to make one for Lucy, although she prefers sitting on the countertop and munching on fruits and chocolates.

The process of baking goes pretty well. Y/N keeps a watchful eye on Lucy as she plays with the monster trucks her friend Griffin gifted Lucy for her birthday last month. Harry made it back for the party and left soon after, to no one’s surprise.

“Petal?”

“Yes, Mumma,” he answers while staying focused on mixing the ingredients.

“Are you feeling alright?”

“Happy.”

“That’s good. Right now?”

“Mhm…”

She hesitated but knew she needed to try because when she was young and hurting, Y/N hated that her parents never knew she was upset or angry that she had to wear a mask all the time.

“Are you happy all the time?”

Y/N saw him stop mixing for a second before continuing like nothing had happened.

“Think it’s finished,” he moved the bowl over to Y/N, who didn’t push him and let him help pour the batter into the pan. She did the final step alone, not wanting Saylor to get burned from the preheated oven.

“Job well done, Saylor.”

Saylor stepped off his stool and gave your waist a tight squeeze.

“Love you, Mumma.”

“I love you so much, petal. Now go wash up. I’ll clean the dishes.”

He runs up the steps, and Y/N sighs. It’s hard being a single parent. It’s even harder having no one to talk this out with. She really is all alone in this when Y/N was promised she would never be.

_____

Dinner and brownies were a success.

Y/N is in bed reading her book when she hears a small knock on the door and sees it being pushed open. Saylor, in his snug Bluey pajama set, walks towards her.

“My little love, you alright? Can’t sleep.”

He nods his head. He climbs up on the bed. Y/N giggles as she watches him shake off his slippers from his feet. “Come on, I’ll give you cuddles.”

Saylor gives her a giant smile, hurrying to get tucked under the blankets. He lets out a deep sigh when he’s settled next Y/N.

“Alright, Mumma was reading. Is it okay if I do that for a little longer, or do you want to sleep?”

“Can we sleep, please?”

Y/N grins pushing his hair out of his face to look at his face that resembles every bit of Harry from when he was a child. “Let’s sleep, then.”

She reaches to turn off the light and slides lower to rest her head on her pillow, letting Saylor adjust himself as he lays his head on her chest. Y/N runs her hand down his back in soothing circles, hoping it will help him sleep. It’s quiet, and she thinks he’s gone down when she finally decides to close her eyes and do the same.

“Mummy?”

“Saylor? Are you okay?”

“Is Daddy coming back?”

“Not for a few weeks. Remember he told you he’s singing for his fans every night.” Y/N doesn't know where the conversation is heading, but she doesn't feel ready. “He’s going to call tomorrow. You can ask him when he's coming home. You know Daddy loves talking to you.”

“What if he’s not coming home?”

“Saylor,”

“What if he loves his fans more than us, and he forgets about us?”

“Saylor, your dad loves you. He tells you every time he calls.”

“Not like you, not all day.”

She sighs, “no, not every day.”

“You love us?”

“More than all the stars in the universe,” she reminds him.

“Enough, that’s enough,” he whispers.

Y/N feels her heartbreak, her son is so young, but he picks up on the emotions and dynamics of the relationship really well. This is more than Y/N was prepared for; maybe it’s time for a visit to a therapist because Saylor, from a young age, picked up on Harry’s sadness and now questioning his father’s love and his place in their family is a lot for a child to process and Y/N can only do so much. She needs help, and it’s okay to ask for it.

Maybe it was time Y/N went as well.

_____

Harry loved being on stage.

He knew he had to thank his wife for the reason he was back on stage. Harry loved his family, but something was missing as he became a stay-at-home father. He enjoyed the studio time, but he craved being on stage and interacting with the fans who gave him everything.

Except, it wasn’t the fans who helped him accomplish all his dreams. It was Y/N, a selfless Y/N who always put others above herself, and this time no different. She went above and beyond, and what did Harry do to repay her? He left her alone with their two children. It wouldn’t be easy, but she had a support team around her, and he knew she would be fine.

At least, that’s what he told himself over and over. The truth is he doesn’t know how to begin to help his wife. It’s a big reason he was glad his team made his first show in America because his therapist, whom he stopped talking to years ago, lives and works there. Harry felt he got to a point in his life where it was no longer necessary, but that isn’t true. He needs it more than ever, especially if he wants to be a better man for his family.

Change won’t come in a day, and for the time being, he will prove to Y/N and their kids that he’s the father and husband they deserve.

He’ll go home soon, but when he does, he wants to be his best version.

_____

Holiday vacations are around the corner, and the kids miss their dad. Lucy talks about him constantly, more than ever, and how he promised to play mermaids with her when he’s home for Christmas. Y/N doesn’t know how much she believes him, but she’s willing to give him a chance to prove himself. While Saylor is doing better. The therapist said it’s normal for Y/N to feel hurt and sad that she couldn’t do more for her child because it means she’s doing the right thing. She put her feelings aside to help her child.

Y/N began going to therapy herself. She did it when she was younger after her mother passed away unexpectedly but stopped when visits became low and few. Kirsten says it might even be a good idea to bring in Lucy, but Y/N wants to take it step by step, not wanting to overwhelm her children. Saylor says he’s enjoying the sessions because he gets to talk and play with different toys some days, even paint. Y/N is overall relieved that she made the right choice for her family. She knows she should have spoken to Harry, but Y/N, never knowing his exact schedule or how she was doing, felt it was not the right time to discuss with him, especially over the phone.

Lucy had been complaining about missing Harry, and Saylor also jumped in, stating they missed hearing him sing. Y/N’s never known how to say no to her kids, so with a single text to Jeff, he sent back a confirmation of three plane tickets that would take them to Chicago, where Harry was in town for three days before the next city.

Packing their bags was easy due to their excitement, but Y/N had a pit of anxiety sitting in her stomach that she could not shake. Sarah assured her that Harry would be happy to see them when Y/N texted her to let her know she was planning a visit. Y/N felt the most nervous because she was surprising Harry when he never asked them to come out and support him since he started touring. It’s something that had always been on her mind. It made her feel as if he was doing his best to keep both sides of his life separate when she thought that Harry would have found his way back to her

Saylor and Lucy were excellent during the eight-hour flight. Maybe they could sense her nerves or were just as nervous as she was in the moment to see Harry again. There’s a car waiting for them at the airport with a driver. As much as Y/N wanted to drive in the city, it's been too long since she’s driven in America. The car seats for the children are luxurious, and it makes Y/N wonder as she’s buckling in Lucy if they went out of their way to buy them for her children or got them on loan from somewhere. Either way, she’s thankful.

Lucy slept most of the flight, while Saylor slept on and off. She knew the jet lag would hit them hard as they’re not used to traveling, at least not the time change in America. Y/N made sure to take her children on trips through their neighboring countries. Harry would join them all the time, making traveling easier but being alone with two kids under six, she prefers to visit places close to home.

“Yes, we’ve arrived.” She looks behind her, sighing in relief as her children look out the windows, amazement shown in their eyes. “They’re fine. A bit tired, but we’re going to eat and try to sleep in a few hours if any of us can make it that long. Love you.” Y/N hangs up her phone turning to look at her children once more, “Nana says she loves you so much and that you better take lots of photos to show her when we go home.”

“Love Na,” Lucy whispers.

“Nana Anne, miss us?” Saylor asks.

“So much, says she’s got a surprise for when we go home.”

“Yay,” both Saylor and Lucy cheer together.

After texting Jeff that they had landed, he told her the driver would be bringing them to the venue where they all were rehearsing for the show tomorrow. Y/N knew that meant it was only a matter of minutes before she was reunited with Harry, and their children would get to spend time with him for longer than ten minutes.

Jeff waved at them as the car parked in the empty lot, helping Saylor unbuckle while Y/N got Lucy out, who chose to stay in her arms. Saylor rushed over to Y/N to hold her free hand. Jeff promised all their stuff would be taken to their hotel room, and she knew he meant into the room they would be sharing with Harry.

Y/N stayed quiet, listening to Lucy talk Jeff’s ear off about how excited she was to see her Daddy. She missed him so much, and listening to his music was boring when he wasn’t there to dance and sing with her. Y/N realized Saylor was nervous. His hand was sweating, but he didn’t let go of Y/N’s hand. No, his hold on her hand tightened as they were guided to the area where Harry was hanging out with his bandmates.

“Harry,” Jeff yelled, cutting off all the conversations in the room. “Got some visitors.” He moves out of the way, allowing Y/N to walk into the room. Saylor follows close behind. The room is silent for a few seconds before Lucy starts bouncing in Y/N’s arms, excitedly chanting Daddy.

“You’re here,” he breathes out. His eyes locked on Y/N first, then shifted to Lucy and Saylor. Their son stayed right by her side while Lucy began reaching forward, begging for Harry to take her in his arms.

Harry quickly crossed the room and took Lucy from Y/N, spinning her around as her laugh rang loud in the room. Y/N shuffled in closer with Saylor at her side. Sarah came to say hello first; it was her godson, after all.

“My little Saylor, you’re so big,” Sarah greeted, crouching down to his size. He moved away and jumped into his godmother’s waiting arms.

“Missed you.” He whispered low enough for only the three of them could hear.

“He’s been playing that bongo drum. You got him like crazy.”

Saylor nods his head excitedly, “can I play your drums?”

Sarah laughs, “I’m sure we can work something out.”

Y/N knows Harry’s coming back over because Saylor’s hand made its way back into hers. Lucy is now running around, introducing herself to everyone as if they don’t remember who she is. Most of the team here today were there for Y/N and Harry during the early years of their children’s lives.

“Hi, Saylor,” Harry greets, copying what Sarah did, getting down to be at his level. “I’ve missed you so much. You look so big, soon you might be bigger than Mummy.”

Saylor giggles, “you think so?”

“Of course, you might be taller than Mitch, too,” Harry teased.

“Ha,” Mitch laughed dryly as he let Lucy sit on his lap as she told him about her journey on the plane and how the nice airplane lady gave her apple juice.

The tension is gone, and it warms her heart to see Harry and Saylor sharing a long embrace. Y/N feels guilty because she’s the reason why her children don’t see their father every day anymore, but she also feels guilty for letting Harry be unhappy for so long. Lost in thought, she doesn’t seem to realize Harry standing in front of her, rocking on his heels as if he’s waiting for permission to touch her. Instead of overthinking what she should do, she does what she wants, which is to give her husband a hug.

She hears him let out a deep sigh, breathing her in. It's been a long time since she allowed herself to relax, but being here with his arms wrapped tight around her, she knows she belongs here. She just doesn’t know if Harry still thinks she does.

“Thank you for the surprise,” he whispers, pressing a kiss to her temple.

“Glad you liked it.”

“Daddy, Daddy?” Lucy pulls on his jeans, asking for attention.

Y/N pulls away from him, laughing as Lucy and Saylor wait for Harry to let go of her and pay attention to them. “Duty calls,” she jokes.

“Oi, what are you going to do?”

“She’ll be in good hands with me,” Sarah interrupts, dropping her hand over Y/N’s shoulder. “Now go. Your children have missed you.”

Harry gives Y/N one last look, and she nods, assuring him it’s okay.

Y/N really hopes the trips end well because a big reason she brought them out to visit wasn’t just for Saylor and Lucy but for herself to ask Harry where they stand. It’s important she finds out because she doesn’t want to suffer any more heartbreak.

_______

The night together at the hotel had gone well. Y/N was relieved when Saylor and Lucy settled for bed at eight pm that they even managed to stay awake so long, but she knew it was all because of Harry. Y/N wanted to stay up to talk with Harry and see how he felt because she didn’t want him to feel like she ambushed him, that she wanted to see him, that the kids did. Instead, as she waited for him to exit the bathroom, she fell asleep, the exhaustion of traveling hitting her like a truck now that everything had settled. Y/N swears she felt a kiss on her head and a blanket placed over her as she fell asleep. It’s the safest she’s felt in months.

Morning came all too soon when Saylor and Lucy jumped into their bed. Y/N and Harry shared a bed for the first time in months, and she was glad they woke her up, not allowing a moment of awkwardness to settle over them. Lucy demanded they feed her while Saylor reminded her to say please. Y/N laughed because she felt like a family, and looking over at Harry showering Saylor in kisses as Lucy sat on her stomach poking at Y/N’s face, she wondered if Harry felt the same.

“Come on, my loves. I’ll let you take a look at the menu and order whatever you want,” Harry coaxed them hoping to call them down.

“Anything?” Lucy shrieked.

Harry’s eyes widened before glancing at Y/N, who did her best to bite back a smile, “I’m afraid I’ve used the wrong word.”

Y/N shrugs, “make sure you include some fruits in there, but no-”

“Blueberries, Lucy’s allergic,” he finishes for Y/N.

“If I eat blueberries, will I become like the girl in Charlie’s factory?”

“You will not become like Violet, little lady,” Harry chuckles, “but if you did, we’d still love you.”

“We’ll always love you, Luce. No matter what,” Saylor chimed in, and Y/N felt her heart grow ten times the size.

There was a lot to discuss with Harry, but today, she’d enjoy the day with her family and feel proud to see Harry on stage doing what he loves.

______

The venue was chaotic, and Saylor and Lucy loved it. They saw someone doing something new at every turn, fixing lights or cooking food. It wasn’t until they saw the fans being let in did they gasp that all those people were there for their Daddy. It felt nice to allow them the experience of seeing Harry do what he loves. Y/N told Harry she wanted to walk around. She can’t remember the last time she was backstage at a venue. Y/N had been with Harry for so long that she feels she has visited so many arenas and stadiums, but she will never get over the friendly environment that Harry and their team maintain. Many of these people working backstage are the ones she saw when she first came out to see Harry. He prides himself in working with the people he trusts and has built a relationship with, and Y/N knows he cares for each person on his team.

He promised her he’d take care of Saylor and Lucy, promising he’d agree to everything they asked for, and she knew he was teasing but also wouldn’t put it past him. If Lucy asked him for a pony, Y/N’s sure he’d have it waiting for her as soon as she was back in London. Y/N knew Harry wanted to get Saylor his own drum kit already, but Y/N wasn’t ready for the loud noise that would never end.

“Take your time, love. I’m in good hands,” he teased.

“We take care of Daddy, like you taught us,” Saylor promises.

The show was set to start at nine, with the opener going on at eight, meaning she had roughly an hour and a half before she needed to go back and let Harry get ready without the distraction of two children who had a new question every second. Y/N spent time roaming the green room and speaking with the band, who were all too happy to ask her questions about her job and life in their London home. After excusing herself, she made her way through the hallways until she reached a black curtain allowing herself to take a peek at the fans there tonight. Harry had mentioned it being a sold-out show and that all tickets went to fans. They worked hard on keeping prices fair to fans, no longer allowing platinum tickets to be sold, not at the cost of his fans.

She stepped out, and the loud chatter of the arena echoed around her. There were many empty seats, as it was early but the pit was as packed as ever. Fans turned around, trying to see who was excited, but no one gave her a second glance. Her relationship with Harry is something they kept quiet about their first year. After Harry accidentally posted a photo of her on his Instagram story with a “happy anniversary” sticker, fans pieced it all together. In an interview with Zane Lowe, he happily shared that he was in love and happy that was all that should matter to his fans. The only posts about their children to this point are each child’s birth; that is how she hopes it stays until they’re older.

Y/N was glad she wasn’t easily recognizable to fans. At least, she thought she wasn’t until she saw someone with a plate of nachos in her hand going to sit against a wall and waving at her. Y/N turned around, wondering if she meant someone else, but once she saw the fan laugh, she sent a small wave back. She took that as her cue to leave in case others started to notice because Y/N’s sure the fan would be quick to spread the word as respectful as she was.

As she crosses back backstage, she finds Jeff and Tom talking. They stop when they see her, bringing her in for a hug.

“Hi, taking a tour, I see,” Jeff says, noting where she was coming from.

“Mhmm, was uh getting restless not being able to explore.”

“Harder with two kids, huh.” Tom comments.

Y/N laughs, “oh yeah, those two are curious. They got that from Harry. If they could, I’m sure they’d open every door backstage.”

“Are they with H?”

“Last I checked, unless he passed them off,” Y/N jokes.

“Are you kidding? He’s wrapped around those two fingers. The only person he allows to take them is you because you’re his favorite person,” Jeff shares.

“And their mother,” Tom chimes in.

Y/N is surprised at everything he’s saying because, for the longest time, she didn’t feel like it. She still doesn’t.

“Honestly, we’re all glad you texted us. This is the happiest we’ve seen him.” Jeff mutters his agreement.

Y/N frowns, “what do you mean?”

Tom and Jeff share a look before answering. “That he’s happy to be touring and on the road again, but….”

“Come on, might as well tell me.”

Tom sighs, “he comes off stage upset or tired and always heads to bed.”

“Are you saying he wants us here?” Y/N questions because it doesn’t make sense to her.

“The last time he toured, who was the first person he went to after he ran off?” Jeff asked.

“Me,” she whispered. “But he wanted this.” Y/N gestures to everything around her.

Jeff shrugs, “he did, but not like he was expecting.”

Y/N sighs, running a hand down her face trying to take in this information. “I’m not uprooting my kids to follow him on tour. We’ve got stability. They’ve got a routine and a lot of family at home.”

“We know you do,” Tom assures you. “Harry raves about how amazing of a mother you are. He really feels that he’s failed. He failed you and the kids, but there’s nothing he can do now, not with a sold-out tour.”

“Hmm…he hasn’t told me. Or when we talk, it’s about the kid. I assumed–I don’t know, really. Feels like we lost him or that I did, at least.” Y/N didn’t think she’d share this with anyone other than her therapist, but she’s always trusted them. They’re her friends as well.

As she walks away to find her children, she doesn’t know Harry is behind her, having heard every last word, having gone to get Lucy and Saylor an ice cream. It’s time to prove to Y/N that he was there for her.

Harry loved his wife. Without her, he wouldn’t have his two biggest blessings. He wouldn’t know what it’s like to be loved. He wouldn’t have built a beautiful life without her, and he took that for granted. He took her heart and stored it away because he was too weak to ask for help. He left her alone for too long, but he would change that. He had to. There was no way he would lose her, not when he loved her with everything in him, his heart and soul belonged to her.

______

The energy for tonight was on a new level; he knew it was because his family was in the audience. He was so happy that he decided to mention it, not allowing cameras to zoom their way because his children were not something he shared with fans or the media, something he and Y/N agreed on from the moment they found out she was pregnant with Saylor.

Harry kept an eye on them the entire night, sending them kisses and dancing their way. The minute he got off stage, an excited Saylor bounded into his sweaty arms while a sleepy Lucy was in Y/N’s arms fighting sleep.

“Daddy! That was awesome.” Saylor yelled, letting Harry slip off his headphones as Harry settled him on his hip.

“Mhm, awesome,” Lucy mumbled, tucking her head deeper into Y/N’s shoulder.

Harry laughs, “thank you, my loves.” He pressed a kiss to Saylor’s cheek and then to Lucy’s. “What did Mummy think?”

“You were wonderful, H. Always a shining star up there,” Y/N leaned in and offered him a kiss on his cheek. Y/N swore she could see a blush on his cheeks as she pulled away.

“Thank you.” Harry clears his throat, “how about we head to bed, huh?”

“Please,” Lucy whispered, causing them all to laugh.

It was the sweetest after-show reunion, and Harry laughed as he noticed cameras pointed in every direction from their team, having captured the special moment. “I’m expecting to see those photos in my messages tomorrow.”

A course of “yes, boss” rang loud as Y/N and Harry helped their kids settle in their car seats, Lucy slowly falling asleep as they began the drive to the hotel.

“Y/N?” Harry asked as they each worked on changing their children into their pajamas. Both children fell asleep on their way to the hotel.

“Hmm…”

“Thank you.” He starts, “for uh, coming tonight.”

“Course, they really missed you.”

“I missed them too.” They fall silent. “I missed you too, Y/N. So much.”

Y/N flashes him a timid smile. “I missed you too.”

After settling both children under the covers, Y/N flipped on the small lamp light and walked out, wanting to get undressed and to bed. She saw Harry in the bathroom and decided changing in the room would be better. She saw a shirt on the chair, and she swore it was hers, so she slipped it on and climbed under the covers, sighing as she felt herself sink into the king-sized bed. Y/N shut the lights off and closed her eyes. Y/N’s not sure how long had passed, but she felt Harry slipping in next to her. He scooted close to her but not enough to touch her, and a part of her was screaming at him to get closer, but she remained still.

“Honey, do you think we can talk?” Harry asked, turning on the small lamp by the bedside.

“Right now?” She blinked one eye open. Harry was lying on his side, staring at her. He shook his head no.

“I, uh, was thinking maybe we can have dinner together tomorrow. Jeff offered to watch the kids.”

“Okay, H. That’s fine. I’m sure we can talk and have dinner with the kids too.”

“If you want, but uh,” Harry feels his throat tighten. He’s so nervous, “thought it could be a date.”

Y/N doesn’t do well hiding the surprise on her face. “A date?”

He nodded, keeping his eyes locked with hers trying to see if he could see what she was feeling, but it was like staring at a wall. She was always so good at hiding her emotions. Harry let her think about it, the silence making his heart race until he saw her offer him the tiniest smile.

“Okay, Harry. It’s a date.”

_______

“You look pretty, Mummy?” Lucy tells Y/N as she sees her finishing the application of her lipstick. Y/N had to sit Lucy in the sink as she had woken up practically clingy this morning; not that Y/N minded but having to do makeup with a toddler on her hip would not be easy. She was playing with the eyeshadow pallet, swiping it down her arms and gasping when she saw how shimmery it made her arms.

“Think so?” Y/N presses a kiss to the top of Lucy’s head with nods enthusiastically

“Promise,” she affirms, although it sounded more like ‘poise’ as Lucy still had not quite mastered her “R’s.”

“Give me a kiss,” Lucy perked up, carefully turning around to not hurt herself. Y/N leaned down and let Lucy press a peck to Y/N’s lips.

“Thanks, petal. You’re the sweetest.” Y/N lifts her up and sets Lucy on her hip. “Let’s go find Saylor and Daddy.”

Lucy sighs, knowing she will say goodbye to her mum for the night. Walking out of the restroom, Y/N finds Harry sitting on the couch, flowers in his lap, with Saylor standing before him, taking his photo. Y/N cooed at the sight because Saylor recently learned to take pictures and took any opportunity to showcase his skills.

“I see Saylor’s found a new muse,” Y/N laughs when Harry startles, jumping up from the couch, barely catching the flowers in his lap.

“Daddy!” Saylor scolds.

“Sorry, lovie.” Harry turns to Y/N, his smile widening as he sees his two girls in front of him. “These are for you,” he extends the flowers for Y/N to take, but Lucy accepts them for her.

“Pretty.”

Y/N giggles, “very pretty.”

“Are you ready to head out?” Harry asks as he watches Y/N set down Lucy, who runs to show Jeff the flowers.

“Mhmm…all good.”

“Petals, come give Mummy and Daddy a kiss,” Y/N calls for them, kneeling next to Harry to accept the two running toddlers into her open arms. She would have fallen back by the force they rushed into her if Harry didn’t have a hold on her. She shoots him a grateful smile as she presses three kisses each to Saylor and Lucy before passing them over to Harry, who promises to take good care of Mummy.

Y/N walks out, and together they head down the hall. She feels nervous because this dinner has the power to break her or mend her heart. It was only a matter of time until she finds out.

______

Harry brought her to a family restaurant. It wasn’t a stuffy, uptight restaurant like she was expecting because Harry knew she never liked those restaurants that gave people food portions so small that it never filled a person up. Y/N grins as he pushes her chair in. She is still recovering from Harry opening her car door and offering her his arm. He’s the gentleman he was for the entirety of their relationship until she lost him.

The conversation is slow, primarily focused on the tour and their kids. Y/N laughs when she realizes this feels like a first date, this was how nervous she was in Jamaica after he approached her asking for the chance to take her on a date, but she said no because she was on holiday and lucky for her, he was as well. After learning more about him and falling for his charm, she said yes, and she would not change a thing because it brought her back to him.

Harry is the one to steer the conversation bringing up how he’s been doing. He has bad days, but they aren’t awful where he shuts down. He shares about his therapist and how comfortable he feels talking to someone, that he went too long holding in all his feelings. Y/N feels guilty, and Harry knows that. He reminds her it’s not her fault, that she did the best they could by putting their children first. It made him feel safe knowing that Saylor and Lucy were being taken care of by someone who would lay their life down for them.

“Do–would you be up for couple’s therapy?”

Y/N gestures for him to explain.

“Marina says that it’s important we talk about this as a neutral place, and a therapist is a good place to start. We both went through a hard time, and it’s important we talk about everything that happened.”

She agrees, “we can do that.”

“Good, uh, thank you.”

“Saylor started seeing a therapist.”

Harry’s eyes widened in surprise, “because of me?”

Y/N grimaces, “he had a hard time seeing you connect more with him and Lucy through a phone, and there was only so much I could do alone.”

She sees him deflate, “H, don’t take all the blame, don’t let it sink you.”

He sniffles, “I hurt him. I hurt you all.”

“Saylor’s healing. We all are. You’re making an effort,” she assures him.

“I want to be a better father and partner.”

Y/N nods, but something is nagging at the back of her mind. “Jeff mentioned extending the tour.”

And he sighs. It’s true.

“Summer tour. In Europe.”

“Mhm…”

“Would–” he fumbles, trying to find the words. “I know work is important, and our kids are priority number one but would you be up to joining me in the summer?”

“Summer on tour?” She repeats.

“The kids aren’t in school, and if you’re able to use some time off with us for even a week or two, uh, I miss you all so much when I’m away.”

“You really want us there?”

“Course I do. Think I played my best show last night having you all there.” It’s what everyone has been telling her that it was his best show since his return.

“I’m—so– confused.”

“Of what, lovie?” Harry thought he had put everything out in the open.

“You didn’t ask us to visit you. Or ask us to go on tour with you. You just left, H, and that hurt as much as having you home and ignoring us,” Y/N pours her heart out to him.

He drops his head, letting out a deep breath. “You’ve always reminded me that you wanted to give Lucy and Saylor stability. Me being selfish to bring you out would have—I thought it would make you think I was careless and only thought about myself.”

“You put them first.”

“They have always come first. I just honestly got lost. Marina, my therapist, said that after giving up something I’ve known basically all my life, I wasn’t ready to let it go like I said I was. And all my repressed feelings took over.”

“They’re the priority Harry, promise me?”

Harry agrees, “they’re my priority but so are you.”

She stays silent for a moment, before nodding. “We can talk to the kids tomorrow and ask them how they feel about touring with you for the summer.”

Harry’s eyes brighten, “just them?

She shakes her head. “If they’re a yes, so am I,” she tells him.

“Do you still love me?” Harry asks.

She sighs, “Harry.”

“I love you, Y/N. I will always love you, and I’m sorry I made you doubt my love but never again. I’ll prove it to you every day. I just need to know if I have a chance.” Harry pleads, and Y/N believes every single word.

“Of course I do. I’d let you break my heart ten times over if it means I get the chance to love you.”

Y/N sees his eyes well up with tears and leans close to catch a tear that falls down his face. “You love me?”

“I love you,” she confirms.

“I love you, too. Never stopped loving you, just got lost.”

Y/N and Harry settle in comfortable silence. She scoots her chair closer to him, reaching for his hand and intertwining it with hers. Harry squeezes tight before bringing it to his lips and giving her a gentle kiss on the back of her hand.

“Never going to stop. Heart beats for you as much as it does for Saylor and Lucy.” Y/N confessed, needing him to know that it has always been him.

“I love you, Y/N. I have loved you since our first date in Jamaica, and I’ll never stop reminding you. I know I stopped for some time and made you question me but never again. It’s always you. It will always be you.”

And she believed him.

Everything wasn’t perfect, far from it, but there’s a clear path in front of them that Y/N and Harry look forward to taking together.

_____

thank for you reading!!!!

taglist: @pracstyles @theekyliepage @nightskyladylights @daniellef89x @qualitygiantshoepsychic @harrysgoldenbum @swiftmendeshoran @crazygirlinthisworld @loversgothumour @a-strange-familiar @be-with-me-so-happily @babyiamperfectforyou

#harry styles #harry styles angst #harry styles x reader #harry styles fan ficiton #harry styles sad #harry x reader #dad!harry #harry styles stories #harry styles one shot #harry styles blurb #harry sad #harry angst #harry smut #harry styles story #love on tour #angst

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yandere-paramour · 3 days

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Heyyyyy. So I wanted to know how it will be if Atalanta and Vivien met darling’s parents, and the parents were like “ yes my daughter has told us everything about you” . And I mean like EVERYTHING like darling said told their parents everything about them( including how they treat darling) but you don’t have to add that if you don’t want to. Hope you’re doing well btw ☺️

Vivien is sweating bullets. In my version of the story, Darling has no idea about his murders because he generally only eliminates the scum of society or people who hurt/upset Darling. However, Vivien will immediately freak out and think that everyone knows what he did. His eyes are wide, he's sweating, he's fidgeting, he is literally doing everything to make himself seem more suspicious. And he worked so hard too! He put on a nice shirt and combed his hair all nice, AND he brought Darling's parents a cake he baked. He wanted to make a good impression so bad and now everything is ruined! He doubts Darling will visit him in the maximum-security prison he is definitely getting put in. Vivien's thoughts are spiraling when Darling's Dad says "She told us all about the fresh strawberries you grew for her :D She says you're such a great horticulturist". He just stares for a second, then he snaps back to his regular easy-going personality. But late that night he's lying awake in bed thinking that he needs to calm down and probably not commit any murders for a while. Just in case.

Atalanta brought a very expensive bottle of wine to meet Darling's parents. As the day grew closer, she researched them extensively, trying to discover anything they might bring up. She wants to make sure she seems perfect, and everything seems to be going okay, but the situation has an unidentifiable weird vibe. They all sit down to dinner and open the bottle of wine. I doubt Darling would actually say out loud what Atalanta has done; I think there's a higher chance the parents would read between the lines or make up their own terrible conclusions. When they say this, Darling freezes and Atalanta's carefully constructed smile drops off her face.

After a full 30 seconds of tense silence, Atalanta speaks, setting down her fork, "Darling, I believe I heard Abebe call for me. Could you go see what he wants?"

"But-"

"Darling." Atalanta shoots her eyes to the side, giving Darling a look.

Darling blanches, hurrying up from her seat to go check on the guards stationed outside the suburban home. When she leaves, Atalanta turns her attention back to her in-laws. She expertly picks up her wine glass, swirling the golden liquid a little.

"Now, I truly believe I heard you wrong. What was that you said?" One could never say Atalanta wasn't kind; here she was giving them a second chance.

"I'm going to the police about what you've done with my daughter," Your father hisses, standing out of his seat, "You won't get away with this, you bitch."

Atalanta takes a sip of white wine, the corners of her mouth turning up into a small smirk, "Oh Richard... Who's going to believe you?"

Your father turns an angry red and your mother tries to pull him back down, looking between him and Atalanta in fear.

"Thank you for having me in your lovely home," Atalanta stands up, inclining her head in respect to her elders, "I'll send my precious Darling in to say goodbye. I suggest you stay quiet, if only for your own self-interest. I am extraordinarily lenient with my Darling, but that benevolence does not extend much farther. I'd hate to have to arrange some sort of "accident". I expect Y/N to be back in the car in five minutes.

She smiles, showing off her perfect teeth, "Please have a good night and a pleasant tomorrow."

Atalanta walks away, leaving your terrified and fuming parents in her wake.

#atalanta my oc #soft yandere #yandere #yandere blog #yandere imagine #yandere oc #yandere darling #yandere fluff #yandere headcanons #yandere x darling #Atalanta my oc #Vivien my oc

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rorywritesjunk · 2 months

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pt 1

The kids were in bed and Buggy decided to stay with them for the night. He hated the idea of going back to their ship without them, having another lonely night without the kids making noise or Sunny sleeping next to him. Endured it in prison and on the ship already. He wouldn't go another night.

Sunny wasn't upstairs when he came out of the kids room after making sure they were asleep. He checked everywhere with no luck, but the soft glow coming downstairs caught his eye. Right, she mentioned fixing his coat. Was there something wrong with it?

He went downstairs, pausing when he saw her fixing a cuff, some buttons, and taking care of a weak spot in the material. He stood and watched her for a moment, not wanting to interrupt, but she stood up suddenly, holding the jacket out to him.

"I need to see it on you."

"How did you know I was standing there?!" He asked as she approached him holding the coat out. He let her put it on, slipping his arms through the sleeves as she pulled it onto his shoulders.

Sunny looked at him amused as she smoothed the fabric out on his shoulders. "You're my husband. I'm used to you staring at me when I'm doing things."

Oh, she did say husband. Maybe... She wasn't mad? Maybe Buggy was jumping to conclusions about them? Maybe they were okay?

She looked him over as she circled him, making sure the cuff looked right, that the buttons were secured, and that the weak spot had strengthened. She took a step back, looking him up and down as she put her hands on her hips.

"Yea, okay. That looks good."

"Well, of course it looks good!" Buggy said, striking a pose for her and winking. "My wife is the best tailor in all the seas and she's married to the Captain Buggy after all!"

"You can be as cute as you want, I'm still mad." She said as she stepped forward to inspect one of the buttons she didn't fix yet. "I'm glad you're home and safe, but I'm mad that you did something dumb like that."

He deflated a little bit but straightened back up. "As you say, I'm home and safe, that must count for something!" He grabbed her hands, clasping them in his. "No divorce, right?"

"After 15 years you think I'm divorcing your silly ass?" She asked, eyebrow arched as she buttoned up the jacket on him. "Who else would marry you?"

"Oh, that's mean." Buggy sighed. "But true."

"Very." Sunny said as she stepped back from him to look him over again. "Looks like it fits. I think you lost some weight but that's to be expected. I just need to fix one more button and I want to make sure the lining is good. Should be done this week."

"This week?"

"Well, I'm not leaving Benji on short notice. He can have me until the end of the week to fulfil orders." Sunny told him as she stepped forward to unbutton the coat. "I'm mad at you but I'm glad you're home safe, okay? Seeing you was a shock. The kids have been asking when they'd see daddy again and I keep having to tell them soon. Now that you're here, no more stupid shit, please."

"Of course!" Buggy nodded. "On my honor as a pirate! No more stupid shit!" He threw his arms around her, crushing her against his chest before he peppered kisses over her face. She let him have a moment before pulling away from him.

"Listen, Buggy, I didn't stay on the ship after your arrest because... It was too painful to be there without you." Sunny told him as he reached out for her once again. "And the kids were upset, because when the kids went down for their nap that day, you were still around and when they woke up they had to learn daddy would be away for a while. No goodbye hugs or anything."

"B-But I'm back now! I won't get arrested again, Sunny babe, I promise!"

"Uh huh." Sunny started to slide the coat off him. "You say that now..."

"Buggy the Clown will not be arrested again, I swear on my ship!" Buggy insisted. Sunny looked up, eyebrow raised as he helped slip the coat off so she could hang it up. "...on my life?"

"Better." Sunny retorted. "I love you but don't you ever do something like that again, understand? Listen to your wife when she tells you something may be a bad idea, got it?"

Buggy wanted to ask what the consequences could be if he didn't listen, but decided not to take the risk. She didn't seem as upset as she was earlier. She had fed him dinner, made sure he ate at least two helpings, and she had mentioned how the bed was big enough for two which he figured was an invite to stay the night for sure. So he nodded, not wanting to push his luck.

"I promise I won't do something dumb like that again, Sunny, baby, my love." He assured her as his arms went back around her. "My next venture isn't as dumb as getting arrested, I promise."

#buggy the clown #sunny x buggy #buggy the clown x oc #buggy x oc #opla buggy the clown #opla buggy the clown x oc #opla buggy x oc #oc x canon

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thevegetablewhichnoonedaresname · 2 months

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Dungeon Meshi and endings. Spoilers under the cut.

I'm not replying to op directly because I think it's a perfectly valid opinion and they don't need to be bothered to engage in debate about it, but I just saw a post where someone said Dungeon Meshi's ending was too rushed, and it got me thinking, because this is one of the ONLY completed series I've read where I didn't feel that way. The ending is one of my least favorite parts of most stories, because even if it's good it so often feels too fast, and it was specifically one of the things that I really liked about DM. The action climax happens in CHAPTER 91. It takes SIX CHAPTERS (decently long ones, too) to go around and revisit all the main and secondary characters that need wrapping up. I felt like, for once in my life, I was actually able to go around and say goodbye to the characters I cared about at my own pace.

I wonder if it's different if you read it as it released rather than over the course of a few days? Still, though, I've read stuff as it released where I feel like six chapters of wrap-up would be welcome (cough cough noragami cough cough. although I know there was stuff going on with the author so I'm not mad about that one). Or maybe it's because Falin doesn't get brought back until the very last chapter. I suppose I could see how that would feel rushed. I really wish we'd gotten more than little glimpses of her in the main story because she's delightful and charming. However, I think the amount of screentime she got made sense for her role in the story, and now that I'm trying to unpack why I was happy with the ending, I think it's because the amount of time she got there was proportional to the amount of time we got to spend with her up to that point.

I've been thinking about what I need in a satisfying ending, and no matter how good the content is, I think I need it to take a certain amount of time/words/pages. I need to take some time to let it sink in that the story is over. I hate feeling like I've been unceremoniously booted from the simulation right as it was getting good. I want to see every character with any sort of character arc get it wrapped up in a satisfying way, if it hasn't been done already. I also need to know what the characters will be doing afterwards. Being able to see that in a scene is nice, but I'm also happy if enough information is provided to draw reasonable conclusions.

Yet Dungeon Meshi goes even further than that and keeps on tying in the main themes in the ending chapters. I feel like I could make a whole post about desire in Dungeon Meshi, but long story short, there's a clear line drawn between desire (which is very instinctual and primal) and the things the characters actually want. The ending reinforces this theme with the chapter where Izutsumi goes around to the main party members. I love that chapter because it simultaneously drives home a major theme and gives us a chance to see the characters honestly and earnestly talk about their aspirations.

I'm gonna stop there, but long story short, Dungeon Meshi good. Everything comes back in the ending. Hope wins. Love wins. Conflict on earth doesn't get fixed in an instant but we can all be better. We can all keep living.

#dungeon meshi #pickle pontificates #dungeon meshi spoilers

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everydayyoulovemeless · 9 months

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Joshua SFW Alphabet

➼ Word Count » 1.3k ➼ Warnings » None ➼ Genre » Romantic

A - Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

He shows his affection through his words. He'll tell you how much he loves your company or appreciates all you do to help him and the natives in Zion. He puts thought and care into every word because he believes speech is the most crucial thing in a relationship.

B - Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

Joshua would be very supportive and very protective. He wants you to live as freely and safely as possible. You’re one of the only good things he has left and he wouldn’t know what to do with himself if you got hurt. He’s also going to come to you a lot for advice. He likes making sure that he’s making the right decision and not the conclusion he wants to make.

C - Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

Not particularly. It sometimes hurts to do stuff like that due to his burns.

D - Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

He 100% wants to settle down with you. He wants to have kids so badly, even though he probably can’t have them, and would kill to live the life of a traditional household with you.

E - Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

He’d just be honest about it with you. It wouldn’t be harsh, it’s more or less just a goodbye from him. His goal would never be to hurt you, but to be as truthful as possible about everything.

F - Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

He has very strong feelings regarding commitment, although, he’d wait for you to show some sign of interest that you’d want the same. He wants to be married so bad, to him, there’s nothing better than devoting yourself to the person you love.

G - Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

Joshua is incredibly gentle with you and would hate if you were afraid of him in any way. He wants you to view him as a protector of sorts and not as the tyrant he used to be.

H - Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

He doesn’t like initiating it, but he does like it when you hug him. His hugs are usually very gentle so that he doesn’t irritate his burns and firm so that you know that you’re loved.

I - I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

Very fast. He’s thanking God the second you come into his life and he’s not going to ruin this chance he’s been giving. He tells you he loves you any and every chance he gets because he truly means it and he wants you to know that.

J - Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

He doesn’t get jealous very easily, but he does get defensive. If he perceives someone as a threat then he’ll stand closer or slightly more in front of you.

K - Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

He loves to kiss the top of your head or your forehead and there always really caring and soft. You can feel his passion for you with every action.

L - Little ones (How are they around children?)

He’s really awkward. Mostly cause he’s not sure what to say or do when he’s around them.

M - Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

He wakes up earlier than you every morning to make breakfast or at least find you some clean water. Then after that, he likes to take your hands in his and pray with you.

N - Night (How are nights spent with them?)

Usually, at night he’ll ask if you want to go on a walk around the canyon with him before you both go to bed. He thinks it helps him connect better with God's land and loves that he can spend time with you while he does so. Then he’ll remove his bandages by the fire, change them out, grab your hand, and go to bed with you.

O - Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

He waits a while before he reveals his past. He knows that people have already told you and that you probably don’t care, but that’s a part of his life that he absolutely resents and needs time before allowing himself to tell the full and honest truth.

P - Patience (How easily angered are they?)

He doesn’t get quickly get angered toward you. The only instance he can imagine him being mad at you is if you deliberately put yourself in harm's way or joined the legion.

Q - Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

He remembers everything about you. He studies your life like the Bible and he’d feel horrible if he ever forgot anything.

R - Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

His favorite moments are when you’re both out somewhere in Zion looking at the stars. He loves how intimate and peaceful it can be.

S - Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

He’s VERY protective. Eyes subconsciously glancing around the surrounding area and a hand resting on his gun just in case something might harm you.

T - Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

He gives you flowers for every occasion possible. Even if they’re all dead and irradiated, he still loves the feeling of handing a bouquet to you anytime he can.

U - Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

Forcing his ideology onto you. The two of you are going to have to sit down and put boundaries in place so that neither of you crosses any boundaries regarding religion.

V - Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

The only thing he’s concerned about of himself is his capabilities in combat.

W - Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

Absolutely. He thinks it’s great that he even found love in his fifties and with the past he carries. You not being in his life would feel like him being thrown down the canyon again.

X - Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

He loves listening to you ramble. It could honestly be about anything, he just loves the undeniable trust you have with him that allows you to talk with seemingly no filter.

Y - Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

Any legionary viewpoints or resentment toward God. He feels very strongly about these two topics and would rather not be with you than disagree.

Z - Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

Joshua has horrible sleep habits either due to nightmares or because of how much pain he feels when he lies down. He tries to go to bed at 10:00 but he usually ends up waking at around 1:00 am and never goes back to sleep.

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