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obssessivethorn · 4 months

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Yuu Makes Constant References No One Else Gets

Since I started playing Twst Wonderland, I can’t help but imagine Yuu starting out by constantly making references to pop culture and memes from their world only to realize midway through that no one else around them will understand it

Just imagine:

In the early stages of the game, Yuu starts to gradually feel more comfortable around their friends, mainly Ace, Deuce, and Grim

At first, they slowly start to feel at home again

They’d begin loosening up and speaking more like how they would in their home world

In this case, that means more references and obscure humor

Especially if we’re basing Yuu’s home world on our current day world

There are so many intricate inside jokes on the internet that wouldn’t make an ounce of sense to anyone who has never been exposed to that kind of environment like we have

So, when Yuu first made an obscure reference in a conversation with the Single Braincell Gang™, they fall back into their closed off space

Because they’re not from here

They have a whole other world to get back to

If they can even get back to it

And while Ace and Deuce may not be the brightest, the two had gotten to know Yuu enough to know that something was off with them. They just couldn’t place what

After the first few slip ups, Yuu had started talking less and less

They started letting Grim speak for the both of them more often, only speaking when others addressed them or when it was about a topic concerning Twisted Wonderland

From an outside point of view, nothing seemed to have changed. They still hung out with the other first years, laughed and teased their friends, and regularly asked or answered questions in class

But those closer to the Ramshackle prefect could sense the hesitation whenever they were about to say something

“You should have seen Crewel’s face when Deucey asked that question!” Ace recounted the event between fits of laughter. Yuu sat with the other first years at their (unspokenly claimed) lunch table, happily chuckling at their boys’ antics. They held Grim in their lap, being used as his personal high-chair like usual, subconsciously running one of their hands through the monster’s soft fur and munching on their own sandwich with the other. “I wouldn’t have asked such a stupid question if I wasn’t so tired from you keeping me up all night with your complaining about that test we have today!” Deuce retorted, grumpily taking another bite of his egg noodles. Though he looked away from his friends, the flustered blush on his cheeks was still easily seen by the group. The prefect let out another giggle, “I swear, Crewel looked exactly like that one meme with the lady surrounded by all those different equations-!” “Huh? Is that a new one I haven’t seen?” Epel asked, his head cocked to the side in question. Had it been any other situation, Yuu might have found it cute. But their embarrassment was too strong for any thought like that to surface. “Ah-! Nevermind, sorry. It’s an old meme from my home world.” They let out an awkward laugh before looking down and stuffing another bite of their sandwich into their mouth. Their face felt hot and they wished for nothing more than the floor to open up and swallow them, never to be seen in Twisted Wonderland again. “Y-yeah, and then Crewel assigned Juice like, a hundred more pages of homework to make sure he understood the topic!” Quickly, Ace diverted the others’ attention back to him, no doubt after sending a look of pity to the prefect. “Hundre-! It was only ten!” Deuce exclaimed, mouth full of pasta. Yuu could only mentally thank Ace for saving them from the piteous stares from the others. It was no secret that home was a sore subject for the prefect. Any time they spoke about it, their eyes would glaze over with nostalgic longing. Ace and Deuce would often ask them about traditions or cultures back in their world, both out of interest and because the two knew Yuu loved telling them about it.

Other times, however, aren’t grim reminders of how Crowley isn’t actually looking for a way home

Instead, they have these little moments with themself where they make references to things from their home world as an inside joke

Even if they don’t understand, Yuu’s friends still notice the tiny smirks or held laughs on occasion

But they’d never say anything about it, because it’s obvious how the small joke grounds Yuu and comforts them with the familiarity

“C’mon! We’re all in this together!” Yuu hastily spouted, trying to stop Ace from running away from his cleaning duties, again. Before Ace could even respond, the prefect immediately let out a bout of laughter and grabbed the boy’s arm, yanking him down the hall while humming a song he’d never heard before between occasional giggles.

Yuu starts recording Grim who is knocked out on their bed. Light snores come from the fluffball. Yuu is heard sniffling behind the camera. “Oh meow meow get up,” they croak. Their hand comes up to lightly shake Grim, stirring him awake and now very confused. “Oh shit meow meow, I thought you was dead-,” Yuu giggles out, further confusing a very dazed Grim

“C’mon, Yuu, the question’s not that bad!” Epel said in between laughs. “Yeah, Yuu! It’s just three more of these!” Ace could barely get the words out as he slowly collapsed in silent laughter. He slid further down in the library chair he occupied, hand clasping his chest in an effort to breathe yet still remain quiet. “No, I’ve had it! I am disgusted!” Yuu continued to furiously pack their materials. “I am revolted!” They fumble in closing their notebook and quickly give up, letting the papers crumple up as they shove it into their bag. “I dedicate my entire life to our lord and savior Jesus Christ, and this is the thanks I get?” The rest of the first years watch as Yuu slings their bag over their shoulder and promptly makes their way out of the library. Ace practically gasps for air. Epel finds himself in a giggle fit, unable to stop. Deuce is a mixture of confusion, amusement, and horror while he very obviously is still processing what just happened. Sebek can only look surprised, unsure of how to proceed. And finally, Jack is just as surprised but is holding back his own chuckles that threaten to spill.

“Ace, you idiot! There’s a ‘b’ in ‘subtle’.” Deuce scolded. “What?! Where’s the ‘b’?” “There’s a bee?” Yuu’s quivering voice quietly broke the tension. “Yuu!”

“Whoa, Yuu, I honestly didn’t know you could do that!” Yuu looked at him with a deadpan expression bordering on offended. ”Do you think I fuck around?” (definitely more obscure but if you understand this i love you) ((Hint: Brennen Lee Mulligan in a Game Changer episode))

Any g-note plays and Yuu’s eyes widen in recognition

“Floyd, Jamil, Ace. You guys gotta get your head in the game.”

Whether you wish to view it as romantic or platonic, the fact in undeniable that the cast is weak to hearing and seeing Yuu ramble on about things back from their world, specifically the first years or Heartslabyul boys

I personally really like the headcannon that only really the Heartslabyul boys, and maybe the rest of the first years, are in on Yuu being from a different world. It makes certain moments hurt just a bit more with the idea of little to no one knowing that Yuu is meant to inevitably leave. But i digress

Yuu could just be reminded of their favorite dish back home or a song they were obsessed with when they were younger, but the way they talk about it is mesmerizing to the boys. Their eyes light up with an aching mixture of nostalgia, longing, and joy. Recounting old stories or stupid trends they participated in never fails to crack just the slightest bit of a smile on their lips.

For some odd reason, the way they describe their home world feels like taking a sip of a warm drink on a cold winter day. Comforting in all the right ways. Warming you from the inside despite the harsh environment surrounding.

Not only does Yuu make it all sound like a fantasy at times, which is technically true given it’s a different world/dimension, but they somehow give the boy a strange glimmer of hope too. Like they too will have a chance to visit and experience the same joys. Only, there’s no chance of that happening. Right?

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zvtara-was-never-canon · 3 months

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Can you give examples of Aang showing Empathy? Oh wait, you can't.

Actually, I can - because unlike you, I base my opinion of the characters on the actual stuff that happened in the story, not the bad faith takes dumb people on the internet come up with.

Zuko literally only survived past book 1 because Aang was the ONLY person amongst the heroes that gave a single fuck about his well-being. Aang offered to be FRIENDS with him as early as episode 13, even though this dude is trying to kidnap him.

In the first damn episode we see him realize and try to remedy Katara's struggle with no longer being able to act like a kid and have fun. He wants to travel with her so SHE gets to learn waterbending. He willingly lets Zuko take him into his ship because he understood that a conflict could lead to the people of the water tribe getting hurt or killed.

In Warriors of Kyoshi he apologizes to Katara for letting all the praise and admiration go to this head. He makes sure to put out the fires Zuko and his crew started in Suki's village.

He tries to help remedy the Hei-Bai situation, even though he is unsure of himself and even scared, because he knows he is the only one that has any chance of helping - and the thing that allows him to connect with Hei-Bai is the fact that he is ALSO upset about the destruction the Fire Nation has caused AND hopeful that the world would eventually heal.

He thinks Jet is awesome because he wants to help people that are being oppressed by the Fire Nation - and then is horrified when he finds out his intension is to "free" them by killing everyone

He wants to help the two rival groups not only safely cross the Great Divide, but also stop hating each other.

He confesses that he hid the map to Hakoda because Bato, Katara and Sokka are showing how much they appreciate and trust him and he feels unworthy of it after what he did because he knows it'd hurt him if the roles were reversed.

He is so devastated by the fact that he ACCIDENTALLY hurt Katara that he swears to never firebend again. He is also able to recognize the same principle behind his mistake in Zhao's fighting style, allowing him to win the battle against the bastard.

He accepts the fact that the Northern Air Temple is now occupied by people who not only don't belong to his culture but also don't understand it and unknowingly destroyed something sacred to him (and that one of them had been forced to make weapons for the Fire Nation) because these people have nowhere else to go and he doesn't want them to suffer.

He is furious at Pakku for refusing to teach Katara waterbending, because he knows how much it'd mean to her and how unfair it is that she can't learn it just because of her gender.

He is so devastated by the death of the Moon Spirit that the Ocean Spirit latches onto him to avenge it and save the day - and the leve of destruction it causes haunts Aang, even though the violence was against his enemies. And still, he tries to go into the Avatar state again because people are dying and he can't accept that.

After the fall of Omashu, he wants to rescue Bumi, not because he needs a teacher, but because they're friends.

He felt empathy for Toph when she was explaining to her parents how lonely and unappriacted their over-protection made her feel.

He and Katara both feel bad for snapping at Toph during "The Chase" and wanted to apologize for not understanding that being part of a group was a radical change to her, even though she had refused to even try. He also didn't have a problem with fighting alongside Zuko and Iroh against Azula, AND he looked concerned when Iroh was injured.

After Katara comments on the fact he called Toph Sifu but not her, he calls her Sifu while bowing, to show that he respects her both as his master and friend.

The hopelessness and downright depression he was feeling after Appa was stolen only starts healing because he saw a couple being happy with their newborn baby - the same couple he decided to help cross the Serpent's Pass, even though he and his friends had just been allowed to take a much safer route to Ba Sing Se.

His understanding and sympathy towards Jet, even after everything the guy did, was so strong that it freed him from literal brainwashing.

He doesn't want to push his love for Katara aside to gain power because he cares about her too much - and then does it anyway because, even though not making her his main focus 24/7 offers the risk of her being hurt, him neglecting his mission guarantees she'll get hurt.

He is devastated to learn that the world thinks he is dead because he knows he was everyone's last hope - and yet in the end he still accepts the burden of failure because he understood that, at that moment, everyone would be safer if no one else knew he was still alive.

He goes to a Fire Nation school and bonds with the kids, wanting to give them a taste of freedom and joy, as well as trying to understand what the war is like from their perspective. The same episode also has him pull Katara for a dance because he noticed she was feeling left out.

The boy felt empathy for, and understood the mistakes of, both Ruko and Sozin. SOZIN. Aang could see the humanity in the monster that is responsible for him losing his entire culture and everyone he loved.

When Zuko spoke about wanting to control his impulses so he wouldn't accidentally hurt anyone, Aang explicitly connected with that struggle and saw them being teacher and student as fate, and Zuko agreed because that's how deep their connection was.

Aang is not happy about Katara wanting to murder a man, but he still lets her take Appa on her mission and is not disapproving when she ultimately spares the guy but does not forgive him and makes it clear she never will.

He feels empathy for freaking Ozai, to the point that refuses to kill the guy - even as he has the balls to say that Aang's family, his people, deserved to die. He spared that guy - but only after he had a way to do that without it meaning the death of more innocents. Aang, the pacifist, was going to turn his back on everything he believed in just to avoid more human suffering.

So yeah, miss me with your bullshit and don't come back until your brain is developed enough to understand a cartoon aimed at kindergarterners.

#anti zutara #pro aang

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lurkingteapot · 11 months

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Every now and then I think about how subtitles (or dubs), and thus translation choices, shape our perception of the media we consume. It's so interesting. I'd wager anyone who speaks two (or more) languages knows the feeling of "yeah, that's what it literally translates to, but that's not what it means" or has answered a question like "how do you say _____ in (language)?" with "you don't, it's just … not a thing, we don't say that."

I've had my fair share of "[SHIP] are [married/soulmates/fated/FANCY TERM], it's text!" "[CHARACTER A] calls [CHARACTER B] [ENDEARMENT/NICKNAME], it's text!" and every time. Every time I'm just like. Do they though. Is it though. And a lot of the time, this means seeking out alternative translations, or translation meta from fluent or native speakers, or sometimes from language learners of the language the piece of media is originally in.

Why does it matter? Maybe it doesn't. To lots of people, it doesn't. People have different interests and priorities in fiction and the way they interact with it. It's great. It matters to me because back in the early 2000s, I had dial-up internet. Video or audio media that wasn't available through my local library very much wasn't available, but fanfiction was. So I started to read English language Gundam Wing fanfic before I ever had a chance to watch the show. When I did get around to watching Gundam Wing, it was the original Japanese dub. Some of the characters were almost unrecognisable to me, and first I doubted my Japanese language ability, then, after checking some bits with friends, I wondered why even my favourite writers, writers I knew to be consistent in other things, had made these characters seem so different … until I had the chance to watch the US-English dub a few years later. Going by that adaptation, the characterisation from all those stories suddenly made a lot more sense. And the thing is, that interpretation is also valid! They just took it a direction that was a larger leap for me to make.

Loose adaptations and very free translations have become less frequent since, or maybe my taste just hasn't led me their way, but the issue at the core is still a thing: Supernatural fandom got different nuances of endings for their show depending on the language they watched it in. CQL and MDZS fandom and the never-ending discussions about 知己 vs soulmate vs Other Options. A subset of VLD fans looking at a specific clip in all the different languages to see what was being said/implied in which dub, and how different translators interpreted the same English original line. The list is pretty much endless.

And that's … idk if it's fine, but it's what happens! A lot of the time, concepts -- expressed in language -- don't translate 1:1. The larger the cultural gap, the larger the gaps between the way concepts are expressed or understood also tend to be. Other times, there is a literal translation that works but isn't very idiomatic because there's a register mismatch or worse. And that's even before cultural assumptions come in. It's normal to have those. It's also important to remember that things like "thanks I hate it" as a sentiment of praise/affection, while the words translate literally quite easily, emphatically isn't easy to translate in the sense anglophone internet users the phrase.

Every translation is, at some level, a transformative work. Sometimes expressions or concepts or even single words simply don't have an exact equivalent in the target language and need to be interpreted at the translator's discretion, especially when going from a high-context/listener-responsible source language to a low-context/speaker-responsible target language (where high-context/listener responsible roughly means a large amount of contextual information can be omitted by the speaker because it's the listener's responsibility to infer it and ask for clarification if needed, and low-context/speaker-responsible roughly means a lot of information needs to be codified in speech, i.e. the speaker is responsible for providing sufficiently explicit context and will be blamed if it's lacking).

Is this a mouse or a rat? Guess based on context clues! High-context languages can and frequently do omit entire parts of speech that lower-context/speaker-responsible languages like English regard as essential, such as the grammatical subject of a sentence: the equivalent of "Go?" - "Go." does largely the same amount of heavy lifting as "is he/she/it/are you/they/we going?" - "yes, I am/he/she/it is/we/you/they are" in several listener-responsible languages, but tends to seem clumsy or incomplete in more speaker-responsible ones. This does NOT mean the listener-responsible language is clumsy. It's arguably more efficient! And reversely, saying "Are you going?" - "I am (going)" might seem unnecessarily convoluted and clumsy in a listener-responsible language. All depending on context.

This gets tricky both when the ambiguity of the missing subject of the sentence is clearly important (is speaker A asking "are you going" or "is she going"? wait until next chapter and find out!) AND when it's important that the translator assign an explicit subject in order for the sentence to make sense in the target language. For our example, depending on context, something like "are we all going?" - "yes" or "they going, too?" might work. Context!

As a consequence of this, sometimes, translation adds things – we gain things in translation, so to speak. Sometimes, it's because the target language needs the extra information (like the subject in the examples above), sometimes it's because the target language actually differentiates between mouse and rat even though the source language doesn't. However, because in most cases translators don't have access to the original authors, or even the original authors' agencies to ask for clarification (and in most cases wouldn't get paid for the time to put in this extra work even if they did), this kind of addition is almost always an interpretation. Sometimes made with a lot of certainty, sometimes it's more of a "fuck it, I've got to put something and hope it doesn't get proven wrong next episode/chapter/ten seasons down" (especially fun when you're working on a series that's in progress).

For the vast majority of cases, several translations are valid. Some may be more far-fetched than others, and there'll always be subjectivity to whether something was translated effectively, what "effectively" even means …

ANYWAY. I think my point is … how interesting, how cool is it that engaging with media in multiple languages will always yield multiple, often equally valid but just sliiiiightly different versions of that piece of media? And that I'd love more conversations about how, the second we (as folks who don't speak the material's original language) start picking the subtitle or dub wording apart for meta, we're basically working from a secondary source, and if we're doing due diligence, to which extent do we need to check there's nothing substantial being (literally) lost -- or added! -- in translation?

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bakugoushotwife · 7 months

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kinktober day ten: breeding kink

>>> so i actually think he would be able to get his partner preggers but that's because i say so xoxo but also bc maybe ce doesn't affect the reproductive system?? idc if it does he deserves a family!

>>> starring: choso kamo x curvy!fem!reader >>> cw: breeding kink thank you, pregnancy kink, choso is obsessed w his wife hours, oral (fem), creampie, >>> wc: 2.2k >>> event masterlist:

he’ll never forget the day you told him you were pregnant. it was something he had considered impossible, to the point he never bothered wearing a condom or cumming anywhere but inside you. seeing you pregnant only made sure those things wouldn’t change. you were already so perfect to him that it was almost unnerving, even all these years of marriage in. he fell in love with you the moment he met you back in shibuya, but somehow you had become even more beautiful to him.

he was obsessed, almost to the point of embarrassment, if choso understood the concept in regards to his love for his wife. but he wasn’t shy about being yours. it was all so new to him, the idea of fatherhood, viewing you as a mother, watching you change before his very eyes and all the long doctors appointments. he loves it though, oddly enough. especially the notion of being a dad and watching your body and mindset shift and grow.

choso can tend to be clueless due to his rather unconventional navigation of life, but ever since he learned how to work a cell phone, the internet has been his very best friend. unfortunately, yuji can give some very…troublesome advice. choso thinks it’s a miracle he’s still alive at times. so google can help in ways his earnest younger brother cannot, giving him multiple opinions and sources on what to do and how to do it. he spends hours of his time researching how to care for you; wanting to know if it was normal to be this attracted to you while you were all moody and pouty with just the start of roundness at the bottom of your belly—the jury was still out on that one, by the way.

one thing that was normal was your increased need for him, not like he was complaining. he loved this side effect the most, able to satiate his perverse desire to keep stuffing his already pregnant wife full, relishing in how eager and frankly nasty you had gotten. you were damn near insatiable, and choso thought he was in heaven for it. all through your first and second trimesters, you couldn’t get enough of him—and the feeling was mutual. as you grew larger and the house became cluttered with baby shower gifts and preparations for baby kamo, he continued to clock hours towards his family. he read article after article on parenting, actively assembling the nursery and searching up names with you. he was beyond joyful, still unable to believe that you were growing his son or daughter within that gorgeous body of yours, your breasts had started to swell and your hips had begun to spread. he loved every second of this: your neediness, everything about how you look while making him a father, and the way his friends circled around him and became such a supportive family.

his thoughts bordered on crazy, a haunting desire to keep you like this all the time, lounging around the house in your pretty maternity dresses doing nothing but being waited on hand and foot; relaxing while stroking your swelling stomach. it’s what suited you best, he thinks—stretched out along the couch basking in the rays of the sun beating in through the living room window, snacking on a fruit board he made you and baby. he’s nearly foaming at the mouth, your long robe-style dress clinging to all the delicious curves of your body; the light cotton seemed to outline your heavy boobs, tight around your semi-hardened nipples. it hugged your six-and-a-half-month sized bump, your other hand resting there protectively. choso was stuck in the moment, trying to commit every detail of you to memory. he almost didn’t hear your chortle of disbelief.

“you said what, now, babe?” you whip your head towards him, heart fluttering violently at what he uttered— you needed him to say it again. it was easy to grow addicted to your husband, building his spawn had you needier than ever. even the smell of him had you going absolutely feral level insane even though this pregnancy had been the highlight of your life so far. you thought your clinginess and desire was driving him to his own insanity, figuring he must hate tending to you and your attitude as of late. you must have just heard him incorrectly.

“huh?” he blinked, violet eyes refocusing on your plush lips speaking to him. “what did i say?” he asks, just as confused as you are. his cheeks darken anyways, as if you caught him doing something naughty, which only makes you believe your ears were in fact not deceiving you.

“you said you should keep me like this all time.” you chuckle, full on tilting your head towards him from your spot on the sofa. he averts his gaze as soon as you meet him, and you let out a teasing fake gasp. “my husband wants to keep me barefoot and pregnant, huh? you know that’s pretty outdated…”

he shakes his head, embarrassed immediately. great, now you thought he was some sick perv, which isn’t completely off base, he guessed, but still! it wasn’t like that, he didn’t view you like some machine built only to churn out his kids and cook him dinner!

“n-no! i mean—you look great like this, b—”

“i’m just fucking around, love. i thought it was sexy.” you grin, throwing a wink his way. he clicks his tongue at you and huffs at the teasing, even though he’s definitely intrigued by the latter half of your sentence. you arch your brow, waiting for him to ask for clarification. you could see him fighting it in his head before your very eyes. the scrunch of his nose tells you that you’ve won.

“yeah? what’s that supposed to mean?” he says from his spot in the recliner nearby, always opting to be close to you. you smile knowingly at him, humming in thought mostly for the dramatics.

“mayhaps i enjoy the idea of you keeping me pregnant…especially if i get spoiled like this every time.” you giggle, shrugging a little bit. “maybe i’ll feel differently after i actually have this one.” you pat your tummy affectionately, and he thinks he may be drooling. you always play so coy, but he can see the way you rub your thighs together and the clouds that darken in your sunshiney eyes. he may be regularly clueless, but the one thing he knows all too well is your body.

“hm, i think it’s because you’re a sex-crazed maniac now and know pregnancy gets you off the hook.” he deadpans, though his heart is beating rapidly in his chest and in his cock. you call his bluff, rolling your eyes viciously.

“isn’t that the pot calling the kettle black.” you huff, spreading your legs out on the couch in a silent command. he smirks, not at all caring that you caught him. he nods a bit, holding his hands up.

“got me. i just didn’t know how much i would love this.” he says, the husk in his voice sends a shiver down your spine. your thighs press together when he obeys your body language, rising from his seat and making his way to the couch. he sits at your feet of course, smiling so sweetly. his warm hands gently pry your knees apart, and you wonder if he knows just how seductive the look he gives you is. his chin is angled down, hooded purple eyes singing a siren song that makes your legs fall apart again and your fingers pull at the tie keeping your dress together. he growls at the sight of your exposed body, his hands rubbing trails from your knees to your hips and down your thighs again. “you’re so perfect…can you blame me?”

you roll your eyes but wear a stupid grin at his praise, shaking your head to his question. you knew better than to be insecure over your changing body, especially with all the extra attention it’s garnered you. truth be told, you had never felt more beautiful, the life growing inside you breathing new life into your own appearance, and your husband never missed an opportunity to make you feel like a goddess amongst mortals. he would never dream of making you uncomfortable or asking you to accommodate him, so he folds himself into the space he has so that his face hovers above your shiny middle. his breath alone makes you moan, a hand flying up to cover your embarrassment. you always react like you’ve never been touched before and choso loves it almost as much as the sight of your round stomach and even rounder mounds above. he brings his thumb over you, wanting to watch you as he draws slow circles over your hardened clit. he hums, a little smile on his face as you jerk and squirm. your hips buck into his mouth instantly with cute whines slipping past your lips as your hands struggle to reach for his collarbone length black hair. he leans up a bit to help you, just the feeling of his rough thumb pad against your need turned you into a mess within seconds.

“nngh–oh choso, feels so–mmph good already.” you gasp, hands dropping to fondle your aching breasts. he nods and sits up to spit a warm and fat glob on your cunt, his thick thumb dragging it all over your spasming need. the lewdness of his action coupled with the nonchalant way he watches, tongue poking around your hole like nothing ever happened, has your brain spinning without much effort. your hips drive into the relief he offers, chasing your orgasm like you’d never before experienced one—despite the clear proof otherwise. he allows it, never in his life would he keep you from feeling good. he’s honored to be the one who causes those pretty sounds to fill the room, to be the father of the child making your beauty so ethereal, to be the man tongue deep in your perfect pussy. “gonna–ohhhh–”

your sweet release coats his tongue, his thumb still working you down slowly so he could relish in the face you make from sheer pleasure. he sits back up, a little more comfortable on his knees as he leans over you to give you a sloppy kiss filled with your own essence. he’s had to be much more careful since you’re getting bigger, but he doesn’t mind making sweet love to his beautiful baby mama. you wrap your arms around his neck, keeping his mouth against you while his hands are busy freeing himself from his sweatpants. you gasp into his mouth when you feel his length parting your folds and prodding at your hole. he only nibbles at your lip to tell you that he’ll be gentle, sheathing himself within your wet warmth slowly. you tense around him and relax, sighing happily at the feeling of him rocking into you at a tender pace. he moves his kisses to the sides of your cheeks, your jaw, picking up his speed until he has to sit back up properly to angle himself right.

“more, you’re not gonna break me daddy.” you pant, hand braced on the ridges of his defined abs. he sighs begrudgingly, only because he’d been repressing the same urge ever since you welcomed him inside. he relents, lifting one of your legs to rest against his hip before driving into you a bit harder. you moan wildly and nod, nearly screaming. “god—just like that.”

“anything for you mama, s’cute you need it hard, such a good girl letting me get a little rough.” he grunts, squeezing the hold he has on your thigh. you feel so different, still so tight and warm but with a different kind of wetness. he’s a mess too, championing himself with that nickname you bestowed upon him. his strokes are so well-timed, letting you feel every drag of his cock against you, the tip of him nailing the spot you need him most. “so perfect. you gonna let me keep this pretty hole bred?”

you nod, the words sending you close to your tipping point. you shake your head, too gone to speak to let him know that you were going to cum. you don’t have to tell him though, he can tell from the intense fluttering of your sloppy cunt, and he’s happy to have lasted this long trapped in your clutches. you’re slapping at his stomach, legs shaking around him as you scream again, the sound so primal it sends goosebumps prickling along his skin right before he’s stuffing you full as if you weren’t already carrying his seed. you squeeze down on him, making sure he empties his balls in you. he stays there until he goes soft, and then he slumps against the side of the couch. your giggles make him perk up, his violet eyes cutting over to see you crawling towards him with a mischievous glint to your eyes. he knows he’s right when you swing your leg over his lap, angling him back inside you.

“don’t worry—just wanna sit on it.” you titter, wrapping your arms around his neck again, pressing your body as close as you could for a hug. he twitches from sensitivity as you lower yourself back over him, but a smile spreads across his face all the same.

“how many kids can i give you, mama?” he groans in your ear as his arms tighten around your waist securely.

#jjk x reader #kyleewritesjjk #kylee's kinktober event #kinktober 2023 #kinktober #jjk smut #choso kamo x reader #choso kamo #choso x reader #choso smut #choso jjk #kamo choso

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pablitogavii · 4 months

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Can you do one where reader is feeling a little insecure abt her body (even tho it's perfect and she's stunning) and she says she wants to get a boob job or a bbl and gavi gets super dom and he gets a Lil aggressive saying no you don't need it (bc she is perfect) I think it would be soo cutee

Thank uuu<33

Forbidden

You just kept scrolling social media looking at all these models with their plum breasts and perfect butts. It was incredibly depressing to look in the mirror afterwards ... you looked like a kid compared to all of them.

"Are you insane!? Do you know what the recovery is for a bbl!?" your best friend told you one day when you mentioned in at college. She thought you were completely insane but she didn't have to deal with everyone commenting on her look on the internet. Not to mention she wasn't dating a celebrity all girls in Spain want.

"I'm home, mi amor!" Pablo walked in exhausted from the training noticing that you were way too focused on your phone to notice his arrival.

"Aii nena, what got all your attention huh?" he asked and you quickly turned off your phone where you were searching different plastic surgeries available nearby.

"Uff nenita, should I be worried???" he said and you shut him up with a kiss telling him not to be ridiculous since it was obvious that you were head over heels in love with him ...but how long will he want to be with you looking like this???

A few days later, Rapha walked to Pablo during training and pulled him to the side. He had an interesting conversation with his wife who told him about your questions.

"She asked her where to get work done???" Pablo made sure he understood and Rapha nodded explaining that it's often that women get insecure even though they look divine in the eyes of their men.

"Don't attack her Pablo, just try and get her to tell you herself" Rapha advised and Pablo followed his words hoping you would soon open up about this with him.

"Amor, venga aqui please?" he said sitting on the bed one evening while you were still finishing up your skincare. You walked to him and he pulled you on his lap with a kiss.

"Can you wear that lingerie I got you in Paris? I miss seeing you in it nena..." he said and you felt a lump in your throat ...you breasts barely fill the cups and despite Pablo saying he loved how it looked on you, it made you feel insecure.

"No ... amm... it's okay ...maybe another night Pablito" you tried avoiding the situation at all costs but he wouldn't let go keeping you on his lap.

"Que pasa contigo mi amor? Talk to me ..." he said and you looked anywhere but his eyes because you wouldn't lie but you can't say the truth either because it's embarrassing right now.

"Please, let me go ...I'm tired Pablo" you said but he wouldn't budge. Ugh sometimes you really hated when he was stubborn like this.

"You know I think your body is sexy ..." he said not able to keep it to himself anymore. He needed you to know how much he admires you from afar.

"Que?" you were a little taken back. Pablo was never much of talker, especially about intimacy, he preferred to show it all.

"Your breasts me vuelven loco ...they fit perfectly in my hands like they were made for me ...and your perky butt is perfect to be spanked ...and you know how much I enjoy doing that when you're mala ...hmmm but I know you secretly love when I squeeze in like this" he spoke slowly and seductively while squeezing your ass roughly making you fight an urge to moan.

"Pablito ..." you whisper and he kept his hands there for while until moving to hold your face and make you look in his eyes. He kissed you passionately and a little agressivly as well like he needed to to feel all his words in action.

"Listen to me, mi amor ...go put on that lingerie and let me enjoy what's mine" he said slowly releasing your hold and you jumped off quickly but still refusing to do what he said or talk about it.

When he saw you pull out your regular pajamas instead, he walked to the wardrobe and sat int he corner sofa.

"Don't be mala, nenita mia. Do what papi said!" he said sternly and you gulped looking at the lingerie in the box while signing.

"I want to get plastic surgery, Pablo!" you yelled it out and he sighed grabbing your hand rather roughly and pulling you to sit on his lap. You were once again trapped there and couldn't move.

"Now you listen to me, nena ...you are perfect and you don't need to get anything done! I don't want my things touched by anyone else or ruined with plastic surgery! I want you as you are ...perfect and mine" he spoke sternly and you held onto every word. There was no arguing with Pablo when he got dominant like this ...fuck you were also turned on so you decided to push your limits.

"But wouldn't you like if they were a little bigger Pablito???" you took his hand and placed it on your breast and he squeezed looking at your mouth longingly. You could feel underneath your butt that he was just as turned on as you.

"Dios ... they're perfect. Don't do it amor...por favor" he said helplessly at the end and you smiled kissing him passionately while he carried you to bed.

"Do you really like me like this Pablo?" you ask after a heated makeout session as both of you discarded your clothes on the floor enjoying every intimate moment.

"I don't only like you nena ...I love you just the way your are ...natural, divine and all mine. Si? Dime eso" he whispered into your ear kissing your weak spot leaving his famous marks all over your neck as you moaned.

"aaahh all yours Pablito ..." you half moaned and he smirked nodding his head while kissing you all over.

"Promise me you won't touch anything?" he said while resting between your thighs knowing how desperately you needed him.

"Porfavor ..." you begged hating being teased

"Promise me or I won't give it to you nena" he smirked knowing he is winning this battle.

"I promise Pablo! I won't do anything! Please give it to me!" you were yelling on top of your lungs and he was very proud of you in that moment. He will spend this night and the rest of his life showing you just how perfect you are for him ...just the way you are ❤️❤️❤️

#gavigif #gavi #fc barça #fc barca #fc barcelona #pablo gavi x you #pablo gavi x y/n #pablo gavi x reader #pablo gavi icons #pablo gavi #gavi x yn #gavi x you #gavi x reader

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jewish-vents · 2 months

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(Post this anonymously, please!!)

I am an artist with an 8k+ follower blog which I have been active on for over 12 years. I've always felt safe here and have considered it my internet home. After October, watching the amount of people in my fandoms and artists who I had admired and found community with who immediately went full-in on a very black and white, aggressively conspiratorial and antisemitic brand of pro-Palestine activism, my idea of community here and my place in it was totally shaken. It was like I had put on a pair of glasses that allowed me to see the latent radicalization that had been going on around me, and the pervasive antisemitism that exists, unacknowledged, in nominally pro-social justice leftist spaces.

The loneliest part is that it feels like, with few exceptions, only other Jews can see it. Even the gentile friends who i love most and who would unquestionably stand up for me are just not attuned to the dogwhistles enough to see 95% of it. It's like living in a bubble reality, unable to take these glasses off, while everyone else goes on as if everything is the same.

Yesterday, I logged in, and saw image attached from a gentile artist i'd followed for months, who had never before given me a reason to feel unsafe. Their tags read "don't come in my inbox to debate this, i have no interest and will not change my mind." I wanted to cry from frustration- this person likely has no understanding of how revoltingly antisemitic this post was because they have no understanding of the complexity of what "zionism" actually means, and, as they've made clear, they have no interest in learning or being told they're mistaken. There are so few of us (Jews) here- how the hell are we ever supposed to combat this? The worst part was that it had 98 likes, and zero replies suggesting that any of them saw a problem with this or disagreed.

I myself never really understood zionism before this- I am ashamed to say that I took a lot of the twisted definitions held by gentiles in my progressive social media spaces without question, and thought that because I believed in Palestinian self-determination, I must be an anti-zionist by definition. It took the "glasses" coming on in the time since October for me to fully learn and to understand that while the nuances of the term go deep, to the majority of my people, basic "zionism" means belief in Jewish-self determination in Eretz Yisrael, and that when many gentiles say "Zionist," they just mean "bad Jew."

In all of this mess there's one thing i'm grateful for, and it's that, even as i've lost community in unfollowing/blocking previous mutuals and acquaintances who've shown their incuriosity and prejudice, this shakeup has driven me to find community with other Jews on this site and a greater curiosity about and sense of belonging in my culture in the real world. I can't be mad that my eyes are open, because i've only lost community that wouldn't accept me as I am, and am gaining community that does, that shares my struggles and that sees the world in ways compatible with my values. When I look at my activity tab and see notifications from my mutuals now, I feel safe knowing that I have been honest, shared the truth of me, and that they have chosen to stick around, whoever they are. I love you all.

#jewish vents #submission #antisemitism #antisemitism on tumblr #antizionism #october 7 #i/p

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tocomplainfriend · 2 months

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Responding to your post about fiction affecting reality: very well-written post and that’s something I agree with wholeheartedly!

Full disclosure: I am a Vivz supporter and don’t really interact with the critique community because of negative past experience (hence the anon), but I really liked your post as it was well-researched and brought up a lot of points that I did agree on. Mostly that, as you evidenced, “it’s just fiction” isn’t a great argument for poorly portraying a serious concept when there can be tangible consequences for that portrayal. And you gave some really striking examples.

In terms of Hazbin, it is not that I believe that Val’s portrayal as an abuser (and consequently Angel’s as a victim) lacks any impact, but instead that it adds a positive one. This isn’t something I’ve researched so the evidence I have of this is personal experience, but as you said in your post that media can affect real life I felt inspired to add to that conversation with how it personally affected me.

So I was aware rationally that a common result of abuse/SA is hypersexuality, like I’d seen that on psychology blogs and such but never really understood it. I’m ashamed to say I thought it was a little weird and very rare. Hazbin was what finally challenged that notion with me. Being able to see how abuse looks and attribute those events to Angel’s actions step-by-step made something click in my head. I even remember that shortly after seeing that episode, I apologized to one of my friends (a survivor themselves) over some judgmental comments I’d recently made over hypersexuality. Said friend also watched Hazbin with me and it’s the reason they talk more openly to me now and we’re a lot closer. Val’s “stupid” behavior in the show and mentioned in Vivz’s comments did not lessen the impact that episode had on me, or make it unbelievable to me that Val could be manipulative. If anything I understand more now that abusers don’t always appear as psychopathic masterminds. And I know my friend finds comments like the Mean Girls one funny and they tell me it’s empowering to make fun of Val’s incompetence.

That’s not the only positive influence Hazbin’s had on me, but the most relevant to your post, I believe. It’s the reason I’m often a skeptic on most criticisms, because my lived experience tends to go against them. You said the negative impact of Val was that people are drawing fetish art of him, but the only time I ever see that art is within critic’s posts. It never shows up in my regular feed, so it looks to me like he’s equally as fetishized as every other character; the unfortunate inevitability of the internet. I can’t say I’ve seen anyone post about stories like mine about learning to understand survivors, but I have heard positive stories from survivors themselves in person and online which lead me to believe that the positive impact outweighs the negative.

Fiction has real impact, very true. But consider that might be a good thing in this case.

Thanks for being respectful!

TW: Rape, SA

I'm a victim of SA myself and that's why I wrote all of this post. If you got something positive out of this piece of media, that's great. Same with victims that saw potion and were okay with it- that valid as much as the people that didn't like it at all. I recommend watching many others shows yourself (or movies, books, whatever) will help you out with sorts of topics in bigger ways. I understand you feel like you got something good out if (and I'm glad) but I do need to say, this is minimal in comparison to other media you could consume regarding the topic!

I personally suffer with Hypersexuality, and the treatment in the show (and merch and otherwise) I found completely wrong. Even if you got to a good understatement of the topic, please put research into it (also outside Tumblr for that matter! There are better places to find stuff about!). Thank you also for admitting your faults over your treatment of hypersexuality and apologizing for it. Many people will never let themselves grasp this concept, so thank you.

If you took Valentino's comparison to Mean Girls or Powerpuff Girl as a way of making fun of him, that's you. I found it, personally, terrible. Specially cause many comments regarding that (that I put on the post) were people actively disregarding the topic at hand. Saying that Valentino is just a karen, or He is Bubbles coded, feels so out of the realm of everything (the last one didn't feel like making fun of him). I don't like the comparison of an active sexual predator to a mean high school girl or a kinder garden girl that's regarded as bubblely or dumb. Feel like you should reach into his actions over It feels diminishing to me and other people (who also complained about this themselves).

People should be extremely careful of what they portray about this topic in media. Other stuff written in Hazbin or Helluva Boss regarding R-pe jokes also is extremely disgusting to me. Never forget that if you think this portrayal is ok, one episode apart it's a gang r-pe jokes towards Sir Pen... and an r-pe joke towards Moxxie in Spring Brakers. Which I find extremely disrespectful to do and adds to r-pe culture as much as any other r-pe jokes (general or towards men) in media. Especially when they want to portray it in a serious way with Angel, where was that energy then? (Don't say Viv didn't write that, she liked a tweet about the Sir pen joke, and the spring braker is written by Viv and Brandon.)

Also, about manipulation:

The tweet right below says that "He isn't manipulating them" because he is too stupid to do so. Responding "The Vees are just meangirls" it's crazy to me.

About "You said the negative impact of Val was that people are drawing fetish art of him, but the only time I ever see that art is within critic’s posts. It never shows up in my regular feed"

Val has being fetishized by the crew itself! The person (who is not an SA/r-pe victim said by themselves, who has being open of shipping ValxAngel and being into r-pe porn) is the one that produce the whole poison part of the episode (also based on his previously non canon ValxAngel comic). You could also go throught the people Viv's responds and likes and it's mutuals with, and they also do the same thing as this crew-member (Raph). Congrats that it doesn't appear in your timeline, tho. If this art appears in a critic post, it is because it's being criticized or brought up to make a point.

[It's not on my blog yet, but I don't like receiving double ask in the inbox, specially of anons! Sorry. I don't know if it's the same person or not, and I don't want to end up receiving 5 asks in my inbox again.]

#vivziepop critical #hazbin hotel critical #vivziepop critique #helluva boss critical #helluva boss criticism #vivziepop criticism #hazbin hotel criticism #helluva boss critique

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rubylovessharks · 25 days

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Rook x gn!reader, reader is NOT the mc (you are 18 or else itll be kinda weird) im also bad at giving chars nicknames that fit the char that gave them so you all will have to live with "mon rival" :/ i was also using google to help me out with the language of flowers so it might be wrong??? but i really hope its not- either way you get the point i was trying to make. also ik rook'd write poems for his s/o / crush and all but i have NO IDEA how to write them- ill try to include the knowledge of poems in the next fic but im not writing one!!

you and rook have fallen inlove with Vil himself! yet he seems uninterested in any of you romantically..but then again Rook has been looking mighty fine these past few weeks...

Ever since the start of your first year in NRC you've been getting closer and closer to Vil Schoenheit, who has shown you much of his personality that many don't get to see. One day he has introduced you to a new friend of his at the time, Rook Hunt. An odd fellow but he doesn't seem that bad.

That is until you have figured out you had feelings for Vil, and not just any feelings. Romantic feelings. And it seems that a certain hunter has the same feelings for Vil as well....

So for the past year you and Rook have had a friendly rivalry competing for Vil's affection, even though he has been dismissing both of your efforts to court him none of you would ever give up, after all he never said 'no', has he? Whenever you'd send Vil a bouquet of pretty roses Rook always seems to bring him an even bigger, prettier bouquet of roses. Whenever Rook would surprise Vil with a tasty meal you'd bring him a new tastier dish. And so on and on both of your efforts would go until a few weeks ago....

"Mon Rival, I wish you a good morning and a wonderful day!" It was normal for Rook to wish you good mornings and such whenever he saw you, but he never did so with ...a bouquet of exactly 7 roses? Is he showing off that he's about to give that to Vil? But you notice that he hasn't moved at all, there he is in front of you, hand held out with said roses. "I do hope you'll take good care of them, after all i have made sure they'd grow as pretty as you are!"

Confused yet flattered you take the flowers in your hand and just stand there. Rook goes on about his day and leaves you to wonder what this was all about. After all a bouquet of roses is a weird thing to give to your rival that wants to win the affection of another. But it seems that he doesn't stop there.. Now every week you'd get a bouquet of 7 roses either from Rook himself, or at your doorstep. It also seems that he stopped trying to win against you for Vil's love, but it also didn't look like they were together. Something clearly wasn't right..

Today you were talking to Vil as you were both sitting at lunch, nothing to big to talk about as there really was nothing new. Other then one thing. Rook's strange behavior. "Have you not noticed Rook's sudden change in behavior?" he asks you in a tone that makes you think he knows something you clearly don't. "I have, but I have no idea what it's all about. I mean my whole room is about to be filled with so many roses that my roommates are starting to get concerned!" it's true, you have started to put the flowers Rook gives you in anything that isn't a vase only because you have none remining! And you have nowhere else to them other then around your bed as to not get in the way of your roommates.

"And have you ever asked him 'why' or perhaps looked up what the meaning is?" Vil has a good point. Why didn't you think of looking up on the internet what the meaning is!? As you are about to answer Vil, Rook shows up with Epel and they both sit down. Not much else was going on that day, so the moment you finally had free time you looked it up. It's not that you didn't know that roses were a love language, it's that he always brought exactly 7 roses each and every time!

The moment you realized what that meant you have finally understood what's up with Rook's behavior. He no longer wants to be with Vil, but with you instead. But why? what's with the sudden change? It's not that he stopped obsessing over Vil, but he seems to be more interested in you a lot more now.

The following day you saw Rook, with yet again, another bouquet. But now that you know the true meaning of it you can't help but blush a little. "Mon Rival! I was just on my way to your dorm to ask someone to bring you these! What has you walking around so early?" It really was early, considering today was a Sunday and no classes were held, so many students would just sleep the day off and take a break.

"I was actually going to look for you." you can see the look of surprise on his face, it's not everyday you are confronted by your very own crush. "I wanted to ask you why you are even doing any of this. Don't you love Vil or something? Why am I the one you now hold affection for?" Rook gives you a smile and hands you the bouquet as he's about to speak. "You see after I finally understood that Roi du Poison does not like me back, I have also understood that it is you who I truly love." as you take the roses he continues tot speak as he puts his hands on his chest. "I see the way you look at beauty. The way you admire it! You look so lovely whenever you stare at Roi du Poison with such a loving stare. I wish you'd look at me that way."

Blush is creeping onto your cheeks as he confesses his love for you, it is the moment you realize you love him just as much as he loves you.

How can you not accept his roses after this?

#disney twisted wonderland #twst #twst wonderland #rook twst #rook x reader #rook hunt #twst rook #vil twst #vil schoenheit #vil twisted wonderland #x reader fic

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venigni · 6 months

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Ok I've been thinking about this really hard and trying to understand it but I just can't wrap my head around it so maybe y'all can help.

We're told humans wanted to communicate with puppets, but didn't know how.

We're told Sophia had a special ability to communicate with puppets. So talking to puppets is not normal.

We know puppets with awakened egos can definitely understand humans, such as Pulcinella, Arlecchino, and Polendina, yet we never actually see these puppets communicating with humans directly, even those special to them. Like Polendina never actually speaks directly to Antonia, and we never see Pulcinella and Venigni having a conversation.

That being said, we also know that Pulcinella specifically has done like...research for Venigni. I think with the golden ergo? So...can they communicate freely with one another? Is it through writing? Or Venigni's decoder?? Or just like normal???

There's also puppets that were made specifically to serve humans like Polendina as a receptionist so we know humans can understand him if he chose to speak to them out of turn.

Yet all the other butler/maid/etc. puppets cannot be understood? Even though it seems to function properly as they were meant to, they would've had to have been understood by humans easily.

We know puppets can communicate with each other kind of like the internet using ergo wavelengths, this is mentioned when they talk about puppets gossiping with one another about what they hear as they were operating Krat's telephones.

There's also instances of human/puppet relationships, such as Toma and Murphy as friends, Venigni and Fuoco as coworkers, and Julian and Melody who were literally married.

P is shown to be able to talk to awakened puppets and humans, but cannot talk to puppets under the influence of the Frenzy and by extension, I'm assuming, the grand covenant, so does this mean the grand covenant specifically is blocking communication? Had it always been? Or is it just Frenzy-related?

Fuoco, Murphy, Romeo, etc., seem awakened but cannot talk to P as other awakened puppets do. Even though we're told, I think, that awakened puppets are no longer bound to the grand covenant? But Romeo confirms that he is, with a specific line of dialogue.

Oh! And Adelina says that Arlecchino trickered her by saying the opera house was a safe place for refuge. We know he was made pre-covenant. So does that mean he can talk to her because he's not under the covenant? Or because he is awakened? We know he told Venigni his name after he murdered his parents, too.

I'm just trying to understand the communication barriers, like, where the line is drawn, etc. Who can understand who? Who can communicate with who?

My general idea, I guess, is that all puppets can understand humans but maybe are stuck to using their typically operated lines of dialogue to reply back? Automatically, like computers would. And maybe when humans say things outside the usual commands--like, cook, sweep, play the piano, etc.--they simply do not understand, because they were not programmed to.

But when they are awakened, they can say anything they want. And they understand everything humans say even if it's outside their standard programming. But there seem to be exceptions to this...like Romeo.

I still don't understand why puppet language is garbled to P, though. Unless they're no longer capable of using their real voices due to the Frenzy? Maybe??? Help lol

#lies of p #lop #lop spoilers #neowiz #???? help #meta

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angelikook · 11 months

Text

Love Blinds

Pairing(s): Blind!Jungkook x reader

Genre: Angst

Word Count: 4.7k

Warning(s): Accident(s)

Summary: You are his oldest and only best friend, but why do you leave him all of a sudden when he needs you most?

A/n This fic was requested by the sweetest person on the planet, @thehopelessromanticclub. I know this took me quite some time, because I'm also juggling with work and uni. Nevertheless, I had so much fun writing this. While this was one of the hardest fics to write, I enjoyed every process it took. Fun fact, this fic is literally the first fic that made me cry when I wrote it. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I've never met a blind or visually impaired person in my life. Everything I've written about blindness and living as a blind person, I learned about them from the internet. I know that there's only so much one can learn from the internet. If there are any inaccuracies about them in this fic, please let me know.

Masterlist | Join/Leave Taglist

There was one thing on top of Jungkook’s wishlist: to be able to see his best friend, you.

It happened when he was too young to understand the world around him. He was around four or five years old. One morning he woke up still able to see cars passing by, people walking by, he could even name all the colors he saw. The next morning, he woke up to darkness, nothingness, and his mom’s cries.

He met you not long after. He was playing in the park while also learning how to use a walking cane. After half an hour of successfully not walking into anything, he accidentally tripped on his cane and fell.

He wasn’t a crier. So as the pain on his knees spread – he was sure it was at least bruising – he still kept quiet. It went like that for a bit since he didn’t have enough power to stand up again, the pain on his knees was too painful.

The next thing he felt was the soft touch on his free hand, the hand that wasn’t holding his cane. And then, he heard a girl’s voice, “Here, take my hand. I’ll help you up.”

With that, he took the girl’s hand – your hand – and introduced himself as Jungkook.

+++

Jungkook fidgeted on his seat at the bleachers as he waited for you. Hands were already clammy to the point he wanted to wash his hands. You were supposed to come a whole 30 minutes ago and he was supposed to be listening to his coach’s briefing by now. He tried to call and text you, but you didn’t reply to any of them. In your defense, you weren’t big on calling and texting, you preferred scrolling mindlessly on social media and sending him memes.

“Kook, coach Lee is waiting for you by the pool, don’t you wanna go?” His mom woke him up from his deep thoughts.

Jungkook sighed. “I’m worried about Y/n.”

The seat beside him creaked, a sign that his mom took a seat beside him. “Stop thinking of her. Obviously she doesn’t think you’re that important.”

“She was never late, mom. This is just a one time thing,” he defended you. He never understood why his mom disliked you. For all he knew, she had hated you since the first time you met him back at the park. All this time, his mom probably only tolerated you because she knew how much you meant to him.

“The show must go on. Worry about her later.” With that, his mom stood up and left him again with his thoughts.

It took him around five long minutes to realize that his mom was right. The show really must go on. Whether you came or not, he still had a competition to win.

Just as he stood up from his seat, he heard someone run to him.

“Am I late?” you asked in the midst of panting, seemingly you've been running.

Upon hearing your voice, Jungkook smiled. “Well, I’ll be on in a bit. So, kinda?”

“I know you’re gonna do great, as always.”

“And I know you’re gonna ask me for a free meal if I win.”

“‘When’ you win, you mean,” you corrected him.

He laughed heartily. He didn’t know why but you always managed to lighten his mood. “I think it’s time to talk to coach Lee. He’s been waiting for me.”

“It’s your own fault for waiting for me.” You lightly pushed his shoulder.

“It’s your fault for being late.”

“You know why I’m late.”

“You snoozed your alarm again?”

“Yep.” You pushed him again, this time a bit harder. “Now go. The competition’s about to begin.”

“Go sit beside my mom, yeah?”

You huffed. “Your mom doesn’t like me. I’ll sit here. I’ll find you once it’s over.”

“I tell you multiple times to ignore her. I want you there.”

The swimming competition went just like how his other competitions went. He listened to coach Lee, shook the hands of other participants, swam like he was born for it, and won the competition. It was easy. It became a routine.

“But your mom doesn’t. I’ll be okay, seriously. Just go, your mom’s already glaring at me.”

The crowd surrounding him and congratulating him, him thanking them, and him waiting for your turn to congratulate him also became a routine. A boring routine that he would rather skip. He’d rather celebrate with the people he loved, his mom and you.

After the crowd around him left, you finally came up to him and gave him a big hug despite his body was still half wet. It was the 'you' Jungkook always knew, supporting him no matter what.

“Congratulations,” you whispered to his ear. “Again.”

“You sound like you’re tired of congratulating me,” Jungkook joked once you let go of him.

“I'm not tired when it comes to getting free food.”

Jungkook chuckled. “You’re lucky the prize money I'll get will be a bit more than usual. I can take you to that new cafe you’ve always wanted to try.”

“Really?”

He nodded. In his mind, he could only imagine how beautiful your smile would be and how the glimmer of happiness in your eyes shined through. And just like that, the wish to be able to see you grew stronger.

Knowing how his mom was towards you, Jungkook took the initiative to celebrate his win in two different settings: once with his mom and once with you. He’d always done that despite deep down wanting to celebrate it with both his mom and you.

+++

“What’s your plan?” you asked after you picked up your ice cream that he paid.

“For? Don’t be cryptic, please,” Jungkook replied in a bored tone.

“For swimming, of course. I bet you’re gonna get another offer.”

“Already did. Coach Lee wanted me to join this year’s national competition. He thinks it’d be good for pushing my career forward.”

“I assume you accept it?”

“It’s not like I have any other competition at the moment.”

“Yeah, you’re right, I guess. When will it be, though?”

“Still a few months away.” He laughed when he noticed the strain in your voice. He assumed it was because you were nervous for him. “If you’re worried I don’t get enough rest, relax. Coach Lee purposely makes me rest for around a month.”

“For a person who’s never been to a national competition before, you sure seem so chill.”

“If I stress it out, I’ll be unreasonably overthinking.”

“Good wisdom.”

“I know. I’m always wise.”

“Says the one who got scratched by a cat because they kept annoying it.”

It was true, though, he indeed was scratched by a cat once. That was one experience that he didn’t want to repeat ever.

Jungkook protested, “That’s just one time.”

“But that one time makes you not always wise,” you teased him.

“I’ll never win an argument against you, will I?”

+++

Time flew after that. Jungkook really did take a break for a month. If by break it meant he was swimming every other day instead of everyday. And once the month was up, he was training intensely until it was exactly a month before his competition.

Knowing well that you were waiting for him on the bleachers, Jungkook left you to change his clothes into his swimsuit. To say that he was excited for today’s training was an understatement. His last training ended with him beating his previous record. And the day before that, he received an email from the mayor that he was proud of Jungkook for representing his city for the next national competition. He basically was on a roll for the last few days.

So it nearly broke his heart, he could almost physically hear it, when he came to the bleachers and his mom told him that you left.

“Why did she leave?” Jungkook asked with his eyebrows furrowed. That was not very Y/n of you to leave without noticing him.

“Who knows,” his mom answered while gently nudging him to walk towards the pool, “She has always been rude.”

“No, she’s not,” he protested. “Something really did happen, mom. Did she said something to you?”

“Nope,” his mom replied quickly. “Well, you can always call her later. You have more important things to do now.”

That was what he did. He practiced, practiced, and practiced. Lap upon laps he did, trying to shake the thought of you, yet he failed. A tiny voice at the back of his head kept telling him to check up on you ASAP.

Once practice ended, even before coach Lee could give him a feedback, he went straight to the changing room, changed into his clothes, and dragged his mom away.

“Where are you going?” his mom inquired behind him. “Coach Lee hasn’t done talking.”

“I want to meet Y/n.”

“She’s probably fine, Jungkook. You’re gonna look stupid in front of her for doing this.”

“You always tell me to trust my gut feeling. My gut feeling is saying that I need to go to her now.”

“Do you even know where she is?”

Jungkook was stunned for a second. He didn’t know where you were.

“I’m gonna call her. Let’s go to the car first.” With that, he pulled his mom again in the direction of the parking lot.

Inside the car, he indeed called you, but no matter how many times he tried, they all went through.

“No wonder,” his mom commented, “That girl seemed like she doesn’t care about you.”

“If she didn't care about me, she wouldn’t have come.”

“Probably she’s in her moody phase. Give her some time.”

Having enough of his mom’s rude comments, Jungkook snapped, “Mom, please. I don’t have time for this. Just take me to Y/n’s house.”

“I thought she’s with you,” your dad answered after opening the door to a very worried Jungkook. “This morning she said she was gonna accompany you to practice.”

“She did, but then left without telling me.”

“We’re gonna try to contact her, don’t worry,” your mom’s voice spoke up. “Just go take a rest, you seem so tired.”

Upon hearing your mom’s words, he realized that his shoulders had been hurting and his legs were cramping. Jungkook sighed. “But please tell me when you find her.”

“Of course.”

But no one contacted him for the next few days. Not you, and definitely not your parents. As days went on, he became more and more anxious. His phone calls and texts still hadn’t gone through. It was as if you disappeared off the surface of Earth.

He couldn’t even imagine what had happened to you to make you suddenly disappear that day. Not only that, the fact that his mom became more insufferable the more he talked about you made his blood boil every time he thought about it.

There was one time when Jungkook, who never raised his voice at anyone, raised his voice at his mom.

“Right now, your practice is more important than Y/n,” his mom had said.

At first, Jungkook had tried to ignore her in hopes that she wouldn’t say anything else. But he was dead wrong.

“Jungkook, are you listening to me? I said, focus on your practice, stop thinking of Y/n.”

And just like that, Jungkook had snapped, “You’re not helping at all, mom.”

Little did he know that him snapping at his mom only made his feelings even worse.

There was also a time when Jungkook deliberately ran away from practice after hearing his mom’s words about you, leaving both his mom and coach Lee worried. Sure he came back later that day, but he had hoped it was enough of a sign that he didn’t like what his mom had said.

“She’s been gone for days. I doubt she’ll come back. She probably already forgets you by now,” was what his mom had said to trigger such a reaction from him.

And it was only the day before when Jungkook had yet again rebelled, this time to the point he was gone all day.

That day, Jungkook’s mom had said something along the lines of, “You should be glad that Y/n’s out of the picture, you can focus more on winning the competition.”

But to be quite honest, it didn’t make him focus on his practice anymore.

His time was slower and slower to the point coach Lee – who was never mad at anyone – stopped that day’s practice abruptly.

“Whatever problem you have right now, I hope you deal with it soon. I don’t want your head out of the game like this, especially not when the competition comes.” With that, coach Lee had ushered him home.

Later that day at home, his mom had also lectured him about ‘being a good son’ and ‘making your parents proud’. But he cared none of that. He still had a missing best friend to find.

His mom had sighed when she realized that Jungkook hadn’t been listening to her. “I don’t know what else I need to do. Paying for your practices takes almost all of my savings, yet you're getting worse and worse.” Then she whined, “Tell me what more I need to do.”

Only two words had come out of his mouth. “Find Y/n.”

+++

For a few days after that, Jungkook still kept at it with his acts. He only came to practice when he felt like it. Once he was no longer in the mood, he just left. Not at home, but somewhere where he didn’t have to meet his mom – the playground where you and he met the first time. He wasn’t gonna lie to himself about the fact that he frequently went to the playground in hope to find you there. But just like how bare his phone is from your messages, the playground was bare of your presence.

Sitting at the playground made him remember that one time when you and Jungkook planned to go visit your grandpa that lived just outside the city.

One day after sitting at the playground for sometime, he walked back home with an ache both at his chest and head. While the competition was getting closer and closer, he was still no closer to finding you. He almost ran out of time, and unfortunately, also his patience.

As he felt his cane touched the familiar gravel in front of his house, he sighed. It was time to face his mom again. But right before he opened the front door, he heard a talking voice from inside. He recognized the voice as his mom's. He pondered for a moment whether he should walk in and interrupt his mom. Then he decided against it when he heard his name in his mom's conversation. It sounded like his mom was on a phone call since he couldn't hear the other person's reply.

"–lengths I did for Jungkook." Pause. "I just want the best for him since it's gonna be his first national competition." Pause. "I got rid of his best friend." Pause. Jungkook felt like his heart stopped beating for a moment. "Yes, the girl who made him blind."

If his heart stopped beating before, now it was beating so fast. Adrenaline was pumped throughout his body, making his head almost hurt.

There was no way what his mom had said was true. None of it. Not the fact that his mom got rid of you and definitely not the fact that you made him blind. No way. His mom was just bluffing.

But as much as he liked to believe that, his mom still carried on with the conversation. "I don't know what else to do." Pause. "I've tried everything I could, but now he just skips practice whenever he wants." Long pause. “Guess I’ll try that. Thanks.” Pause. “Bye.”

With a huff, Jungkook opened the door. As he closed the door behind him, he heard his mom gasping.

“You’re already home?” she asked.

He shrugged. “I am, for a while.”

“Did you hear everything?”

“Not everything. But enough to know what you did.” Jungkook deemed it was the right time to let out his anger bit by bit.

“So now you know the truth. Why I don’t like Y/n and why I got rid of her.” It sounded like there was no remorse at all.

+++

It was his fourth birthday. Just like how kids who had birthdays before him celebrated their birthday with the whole class, Jungkook also celebrated his birthday with his classmates.

“Jungkook!” A little girl called him while running up to him.

He smiled upon seeing the big present on the girl’s hand. It was big enough to fill the girl’s hands full.

Once she was close enough, she handed the gift to him. “This is for you. Happy birthday.”

Jungkook accepted it. “Thank you, Y/n.”

Like any other class full of kindergarten kids, the class was chaotic. The teacher was busy trying to sit everyone down and left the birthday boy with his best friend on their own. That was a big mistake.

Little you had seen a lot of funny videos depicting pranks people do on their friends and wanted to try one on Jungkook. So just as Jungkook wanted to take a seat beside you, you pulled his seat, making him fall butt first to the hard floor.

Then everything flew by. He only remembered faintly. He remembered his loss of vision. He remembered hearing cries. He heard a lot of cries. From himself, Y/n, his parents, Y/n’s parents, even the teachers. Then the strong smell of disinfectant indicated to him that he was in a hospital.

There were also doctor’s checkups. A lot of doctor’s checkups. He remembered those checkups almost made him stay up all night. It was hard to forget how scared he was of the doctors handling him.

The only memory that engraved into his mind was when the doctor told his parents that he was permanently blind because of the accident. Then he heard more of his parents’ cries.

+++

Jungkook shook his head in disbelief. “You’re wrong, mom.”

“You’re still defending her?” His mom raised his voice. “Look what happened to you after she came into your life.”

“I’m defending her because the good things she’s done outdid the bad things.”

His mom grunted.

“Yes, she might be the one who made me blind, but she is – was – also the one who pushed me to become a national athlete.” Jungkook regained his breath before continuing his speech. “At the start, I didn’t really like swimming. But when Y/n said that it was cool to be able to swim fast, I was motivated.” Pause. “And don’t even talk about how many times she supported me, accompanied me. She never skips coming to my competitions and practices.”

All he said was true. As much as he wanted to hate you, he couldn’t. A part of him – a big part – still needed you and missed you.

With one last statement, Jungkook ended his conversation with his mom. “You not being able to forgive Y/n is the reason why my career almost ruined. If you really want me to succeed, help me find Y/n.”

It didn’t even take his mom more than three days to find you.

Jungkook was listening to a podcast when he received a notification from his mom. Words couldn’t explain how shocked he was when he realized it was the address he knew well – your grandpa’s house. With you on his mind, he left his house and went to where you were.

Because your grandpa only lived outside the city, it didn’t take long for Jungkook to arrive there. The familiar smell of lavender still lingered just like how he remembered it. He smiled internally knowing that your grandpa still took care of his lavender plants after all this time.

Right before he got the time to step further near your grandpa’s house, he heard a voice calling him. He instantly recognized it as yours.

“What are you doing here?” you asked, your voice getting louder by the second indicating that you were walking towards him.

Couldn’t hide his smile because of meeting you again, he grinned. “What are you doing here?”

“I asked the question first.”

Jungkook sighed. Still the same stubborn Y/n that he knew. “I’m looking for you. Now answer my question.”

“Helping my grandpa around. It’s been some time since I went here.”

“But you never stayed here this long.”

“Is that a problem?”

Jungkook’s face fell. It looked like you didn’t want to talk about the elephant in the room. “I think I know the reason why you’re here.”

“Of course, I already told you the answer.”

“No, I mean–” he hesitated, not sure how to break it to you, “–I know the truth. And I’m sure you know about it, too.”

You grunted. “Jungkook, I don’t understand. What are you talking about?”

He decided to just drop the bomb at once. “The accident when we were young, my blindness, my mom hating you and making you leave me.”

He heard you chuckle at his response. “If you really think the reason I’m here is because of your mom, you’re dead wrong.”

Good. He made you angry.

“I’m not gonna beat around the bush, if you have nothing important to do here, I suggest you leave.”

“Can we talk about this first?”

“What is there to talk about?”

“Everything!”

“I don’t have the time. Just go home.” Jungkook heard your footsteps, you were walking away.

“Please, Y/n,” Jungkook called.

“What is there to talk about?” you repeated the question after stopping in your tracks.

Almost giving up, he answered, “Us.”

“We should never be friends, Jungkook. Your mom was right to separate us.”

“Why?”

“Look at you!” you half-yelled. “Look at what I did to you! Oh, gosh, I can’t even look at you without hating myself.”

“Y/n-” Jungkook took a step.

“No. Listen to me first. I’m really grateful to know you. But your mom was right. I did too much damage to you. We can never be friends.”

“Y/n, I don’t understand what you mean by that. It was an accident, yes, you knew no better. But don’t think it was a tragedy. It wasn’t and it’ll never be,” Jungkook tried to reason with you.

“How can you call it ‘not a tragedy’ while you’re standing there unable to see permanently?”

“I lived with this for so long I almost forget what it feels like to be able to see. Being blind is a part of me now and I already accept it. But why can’t you and mom accept me?”

The next thing he knew, you ran to him and hugged him so tight he was scared that would break a bone. But another part of him, his heart specifically, drumming against his chest he was sure you could hear it.

“I’m so, so, so sorry. You don’t even know how much I’m sorry,” your cries muffled by his shirt. “I’m sorry if I couldn’t accept you. Never even think once that I have bad intentions towards you. I would never do those things to you intentionally.”

Jungkook patted your hair softly. He was lying if your cries didn't hurt him. “I know, I’ve forgiven you a long time ago.”

“I tried to make amends with you. I befriended you, supported you, accompanied you. I basically did everything I could do. But when I realized that you were nicer than what I had thought, I only felt worse.”

“I understand.” This time Jungkook brushed his hair through your fingers. Your hair smelled like strawberries, the exact smell he liked. The smell he had missed.

“And when your mom told me that you would do better without me, I believed her.”

“That’s where she’s wrong. I did worse, you can ask her. I couldn’t do it without you.”

You pulled back slightly, but not breaking the hug. “But you’re so good at swimming.”

Jungkook smiled. “Only when you’re watching. So, can you, please, accompany me again?”

“What about your mom? She would be angry.”

“I already explained everything to her. In fact, she was the one giving away your location.”

“That’s because you forced her,” you whined.

“To be honest, I don’t really care if she still can’t accept you. At least she won’t bother you, hopefully.”

You sighed happily. “Okay. I trust you.”

As he laid on his bed that night,

*Add a scene where Jungkook lays at night, thinking about how grateful he is for making amends with you. He also realizes that maybe he has a crush on you.*

+++

True to your words, you went with him during his practices. Although his mom never talked to you or even approached you, Jungkook felt like things were going better. At least she wasn’t talking bad about you anymore.

On the D-day, you came early – even before Jungkook himself – much to his surprise.

“You’re already here,” Jungkook said in surprise when he heard you call him. His mom was talking to coach Lee, giving him the perfect opportunity to talk to his best friend.

“For around 15 minutes, yeah,” you confirm. “Are you nervous?”

“Don’t even ask that kind of question.”

“Okay, sorry.” You laughed. Oh, how he missed that sound. “Hey, I don’t know if you’re allowed to eat a lollipop before a competition, but I’d like to give you this.”

He felt you pushing what felt like a lollipop into his hand.

“Aside from eating heavy meals, I can eat anything. So, thanks.” He opened the lollipop and put it into his mouth.

“I thought it would make you feel less nervous.”

“You know I can handle nervousness well.”

“You’ve never been to a national competition before, though.”

“Fair enough.” A sudden thought flash in his mind. “Y/n, I have something to tell you, but I think it’s better to tell you after the competition.”

Though it was a nation-wide competition, everything went quite similar like Jungkook’s previous competitions. Minutes before the competition began, he received a briefing from coach Lee, shook hands with the other competitors, and then the competition finally began.

Everything slowed down once he was in the water, it was only him, his mind, and the flow of water around him. Much to his surprise, everything went smoother and calmer than he had anticipated. He never knew that national competitions weren’t much different from his other competitions. In short, he was in his element again. He felt free.

Sooner than what he had liked, the competition ended and he was allowed to go home empty-handed. Empty-handed because he lost. He came in fourth place. Not as good as what his mom wanted, but for a newbie like him, it was just the beginning. He wasn’t sure what was the reason, but he really wasn’t feeling sad or anything.

Once he walked out the changing rooms, he felt someone hugging him. From the smell, he could tell it was you.

“I’m super proud of you. Fourth place in your first national competition? You’re gonna be a legend,” you rambled in his ear while still hugging him.

Jungkook hugged you back. “Thanks.”

You finally let him go. “I overheard coach Lee tell your mom that there’ll be another national competition. The organizer isn’t as big as this one, but he thinks it’ll be good for you.”

“Wow. Isn’t that, like, too soon?”

“Don’t know when it’ll be, though. You can just ask coach Lee.”

“I will. Thanks, Y/n.”

“So, do you have something to tell me?”

Jungkook furrowed his eyebrows. “Huh?”

“Before the competition, you told me you have something to tell me.”

“Oh, right.” To be honest, he kinda wanted to regret it as soon as he had said it back then. Damn you to always remind him.

“What is it?”

“It’s nothing serious.”

“It sounded serious.”

Jungkook groaned. “Do you really need to know?”

“Of course. I’m your best friend. I’m ready to listen to whatever you say.”

“Then I hope you’re ready to change that status, too,” he blurted. Jungkook wanted to hit himself as soon as he realized what he had said.

Y/n coughed, probably in surprise. “What? What status?”

Jungkook took a deep breath. “I have liked you since I could remember. Don’t you think it’s time to change our status from best friends to something more?”

There was a delay in your answer. Jungkook bit his bottom lip, scared you wouldn’t like what he had said.

“Right now?”

“Well, yeah, if you’d like.”

“Of course I’d like to.” Then Jungkook felt your weight on him; you hugged him again, this time stronger than before.

And without words, Jungkook felt your soft lips on his. It tasted better than what he had imagined. He smiled to the kiss.

There were two things on top of Jungkook’s wishlist: to be able to see you and to be your boyfriend. At least he was able to check the latter.

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metamatar · 5 months

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i hate all the hand wringing people (mostly from the global north) do about piracy. i live in sri lanka and have lived here most my life, and pirating things is very, very normal here. like my friends and i would ask each other for entire tv series or movies downloaded on to usb drives and share them around the whole friend group lol, especially because only one or two of us could download/stream things like that over the internet. now that i'm studying in university, it's very common for lecturers to give us pdfs of textbooks without us having to even go look for them; it's pretty widely understood that this is what we're supposed to do about required textbooks and research papers and such anyways. i honestly haven't touched a physical book in ages because i can usually never find the books i want (of the lesbian necromancy variety) in libraries, and even if i can find them in book shops, i can't afford them.

compared to this, my few years in aotearoa couldn't have been more different. even school libraries there are so much more well stocked than public council libraries here. and universities give you access to entire databases! like, anything and everything you want or need to access is right there o_o (i wanted to download a bunch of things from those databases when i was moving back, but sadly i couldn't: which might have been for the best) and books you cannot find at your local library, you could request to be brought there from another library within the region. like- what? books were still too expensive, but we had second-hand bookstores! (those were probably my favourite <3) i also remember a librarian at my school talking about how piracy is theft and how bad it is, which made me feel so guilty lmao. but also, please come and see how little access we have to anything here and then maybe you'll understand why.

yeah! i had the exact same experience in india down to my professors uploading dubiously acquired free pdfs onto the university portal.

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aphrostiel · 2 months

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Thank you for showing JC as a human being and for reminding me that there is love in Christianity. I know there is, because my mother is a very good lovely woman and she’s very faithful, but I get very depressed seeing how people use Christ and the Bible for cruelty and hatred, and I’m very appreciative of your JC and the Palestinian gazelle. Thank you.

(this text might be long so I'm sorry for any bad wording) First of all thank you very much for your kind and sweet words, people like you all are the reason I can keep pushing forward, other than my love for art.

On the topic of doing Christian art, I must say I was anxious at first, because in the past I didn't have a good experience in a religious group (high school) and some people often made fun of what I drew. So I didn't know, and don't know, how it can be received on the Internet. I of course respect every view, nobody has to like my art, and that's okay. What I really don't like are words of hate which I'm very grateful to say I didn't receive. On the contrary, I see a lot of love towards this type of art and that's really inspiring.

It's sad to see how many people get damaged with religion, ever since I was little I just never understood why something that promotes love can cause so much hate, as an adult... I still don't get it. But it happens, and I understand why people break their bond with religion. I just want to say that it's okay, I'm so sorry that people rejected you and hurt you. Know that there are people and communities who are very open and friendly (some hard to find, I will admit), so if you ever want to go back to your Faith, you can. There is no rush, I just say that the door is always open.

My relationship with God, like everyone else's, is very personal and I think showing it in the form of art feels very good to me, and helpful to give a message (like the Palestinian gazelle drawing you mentioned) There's something comforting I feel everytime I draw something like this, too. My latest drawing of Snoopy with Jesus pretty much summaries my relationship with Him: a relaxing person, friendly, who you can talk to about everything, anytime, someone who creates this safe space for you. He's my best friend, and I love that. <3

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from-izzy · 6 months

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that's him, that's just who he is | tbz kevin moon

» PAIRING: tbz kevin moon x gn! reader (proofread but lmk if i missed anything!) » TROPE/AU: childhood friends 2 strangers, highschool and slight uni au!, non-idol au!, idol au! (just kevin towards the end) » GENRE: once again...angst, fluff and comfort from the flashbacks, kevin being an extremely supportive friend, you're also an extremely supportive friend!, platonic 'i love you's being said, you both met at church, choir and ensemble singing!, you both are shy introverts that are only chaotic with each other » WORD COUNT: 4179 (2k word limit who?) » ESTIMATED READING TIME: ~15 mins » WARNINGS (lmk if i missed anything!): mentions of Christianity (not sure if it's a 'warning' but i felt like it should be mentioned!), swearing (b-word), mentions stress relating to: academic (high school), music and performing » PLAYLIST: you never know - HSMTMTS, you better know - red velvet, reflection - christina aguilera, steal the show - lauv, try everything - shakira navi/masterlist!! 🤍 series introduction 🤍 series masterlist

my second story for my project! this may be my favourite story ever ❤️‍🩹

ahhhh this got so personal so quickly 🥹 performing has always been for leisure for me, and for the same reasons in this story, i got so burnt out last year. writing this really made me realise how much i miss the stage. going from about 7 performances a year to only about 1 is to put it simply, heartbreaking.

but i learnt that there are opportunities. i learnt that i'm satisfied with just getting my voice out to the world whether it be through choir, the internet or on the streets. i think things will work out; time does help sometimes 🫶

for those who may not know, kevin's representative number is 16 🌙 and the meaning of this number is explained in this video! i did some research and found that it's from 1 Peter 5:6.

to my readers who are followers of God: I pray that you will always be filled with hope and joy as you advance in your daily endeavours. Believe that God has the best plans for you and that He will never leave you behind, especially when you are at your lowest. Confide in Him and love Him as much as He loves you.

“Can I sing this part with Kevin?”

The question is new to everyone who heard it. Did you just ask to do a supposed solo with someone else? No, you were not a greedy performer though you understood why most people would think that. The choir conductor looks to the other side of the ensemble where the group of altos stood. Including the older woman, all the children including the said boy stood there surprised at the request you asked for.

You’ve been singing in the church youth choir since you were ten and you were incredibly gifted. For example, you landed most of the solos and smaller ensemble parts whenever there was a chance. At first, you didn’t want to be in this church because you were shy (incredibly shy) and you never made a lot of friends in school and most definitely, outside of school. Needless to say, your parents were pretty worried but at the very least, they found that when you were asked to go to church events, you were able to talk with people, smile, and laugh but then you would go back into your shell.

Your parents met at this church through singing and performing together as part of the choir and the band. The children were around your age but you found that your interests mainly conflicted with them and it was hard to keep up with their conversations.

So, when a certain Moon family moved into your area and started attending their local church, Kevin, who happens to be a boy who is incredibly gifted in music, joined the choir with that unique, radiant, excited smile on his face. With a simple and friendly “Hello everyone. My name is Kevin, I’m fifteen and am very excited to be here!” Contrasting to his introduction, you found that Kevin was just as introverted as you were and with your courage to finally approach someone, you made your first friend. School life became better as well when you found out that Kevin attended the same school as you.

Going back to the first dialogue though, the duet did happen and the church community knew that you both were the perfect musical partners for each other. Your softer soprano voice complimented Kevin’s deeper alto voice easily. You both found yourself auditioning, performing, and showcasing your team work together in a bunch of school, church, and even the larger community-based musical events.

Now, after eight years of joining the choir, three after meeting Kevin, you were both in a state of uncertainty, distress, and frustration with the piles of sheet music that scattered everywhere to the point where it was almost covering the surface of your room’s floor. Your hair strands were everywhere and you were sick with the school uniform that you’ve had on since seven in the morning. You both have been secluding yourselves in your room, going back and forth with the arrangement of your final high school piece that you are going to perform with Kevin within less than a week.

The current situation in one word: messy.

It’s all a mess. About a week ago out of nowhere, your voice decided to have its own mind and leave for about a week. Kevin had a sudden test that his teacher thought would be fun to assign at the last minute. You also had this assignment that you were going to do but you found a mistake in the written arrangement, a note that was about a tone and a half out of your range, and since Kevin was better at rhythm, arrangement, and using the composing software, you could only sit next to his left in the corner of your room as he groaned at how the app was not doing what you both wanted to do.

So yes…it’s a mess, and it’s been around three hours.

“This is impossible.” A few more of your tears manage to trickle down your already red, puffy cheeks, “Okay you know what, I’ll just sing it. It’s fine. It’s not even two tones above what I usually sing in AND I’ve done it befo—”

“Lost your voice and felt lightheaded after.” Kevin cuts off your panicked rambles. No doubt, he’s feeling all the things that you are feeling right now but the only reason why he’s still able to muster up a smile and just ‘inhale, exhale’ through it all is because at the very least, one of you should be able to stay grounded, “We’re not going to put out a performance that we’re not proud of, okay? Especially when this is our last high school performance together.”

“We also said that we wouldn’t do any performances that were out of our capabilities.” At these words, you were both reminded of the promise you made to each other in front of your melted ice creams. It was an ‘oath’ that was made when you both realised you would be standing on the same stage, at the same time more often:

We will finish every performance to the best of our capabilities. We will focus more on quality rather than quantity.

At the new educational path that you were about to embark on, automatically closing this one that you’ve been on for just about six years, you were both starting to get greedy, wanting more than anything now to be on stage. With you both turning eighteen, you both couldn’t sing with the youth choir anymore. Taking music as a subject in high school meant there was a certain prerequisite in terms of how many stages you would have to perform; you and Kevin always exceeded this regardless with solos, duets, or larger ensembles. With graduation, however, the granted opportunity to perform would be taken away from you both and you were getting restless.

You were both greedy, forgetting almost all the other priorities that you had set out, and raked the internet for any chances to perform on stage. For the last two months, both of you have been juggling between your heavy study load, auditioning, composing, arranging, practising, and bowing at the end of it all. To the untrained ear, they could have probably missed the way you were momentarily out of tune or the way that Kevin missed his entry due to his fatigue. The greed consumed you both and most of the stages that you performed were nowhere near satisfactory for any standards that you both set for yourself. After the first performance that you were bashing yourself over, you rationalised that you would need to do another one to make up for the ‘loss’ from the previous one. That you NEED to go to another stage to make up for the ‘loss’ from the previous one.

That cycle is deadly and it keeps going for a while.

“Kev…I’m tired.” It feels like after a whole three years of back-to-back, almost seemingly non-stop performances in addition to the sudden addition from the past two months, you have finally hit a wall that you never wanted to admit. Kevin didn’t need verbal words to know the reason behind the lack of enthusiasm and the way the lyrics sing are no longer as projected and emotionful as before; because it was the same way to him.

“I know…” Kevin sighs. He finally relieves the downward strain on his neck, pulling it back up to rest against the wall. Offering you both comfort, he wraps his arm around the back of your shoulder, his palm pulling your left forearm to get you closer to him, “I’m sorry, I can’t get this right.”

“No, don’t say that.” You finally give in, plopping your head on his left shoulder in defeat, “I’m sorry. You’re doing your best.”

You let most of the silence fill you both, the hints of the trackpad clicking and the way the note that Kevin clicked would play out of his laptop’s speaker to audibly confirm the note that he just readjusted on the musical lines. Kevin’s left hand is maneuvering on the trackpad while his hand pats on your head that rested on his left shoulder, humming comfortingly while you calm your racing thoughts.

“But hey.” Kevin finally speaks up, “I just wanted to say that I like how busy this is making me.” Nodding to his own words, “It makes me forget the other subjects for a while.”

You exhale, knowing how much Kevin has been having a hard time with the other core subjects but still wakes up every day and chooses to smile courageously, “But this isn’t the right way. To forget other things, I mean.”

“I know, I know.” The boy lets out a little ‘aha’ when he finally finds the rhythm that you both wanted, playing the bar again and again, tapping his index finger on his thigh as he follows the 4/4 count, “But hey, thanks for accepting this performance even with all the final year-end exams. Or else I would REALLY be overthinking that recent chemistry test.”

“Love you, bro.” Reminding him thoughtfully to calm the noise in his head, “I’m always here for you.”

“Love you too, sis.” Playfully, he makes a fist and gently taps your forehead with his knuckles, emitting a laugh from you, “Just take a rest, okay? I’ll just,” Kevin adjusts his slouching posture, straightening his back fully against the wall so that his shoulders are higher and more comfortable for you to lay on, “be on another war with this app. You would expect I know all the tricks after using it for a year but guess not.”

So yes, it was a bit of a mess but on the bright side, you are both extremely proud of that final stage together as high school students. It earned a huge round of applause from the audience and many thankful regards were given by all the teachers in the department of music. It was a bittersweet feeling to see the head of music cry at the realisation that he would never see his two best students attend his class anymore but he made you both promise to visit once in a while.

But the performance being an open event, neither of you realised the opportunities or the types of people that would attend the concert. And so here you both are in an educational setting but with casual clothing unlike the blazer, tie, and the one hundred percent cotton blouses that you were forced to wear.

“Gosh Kev, you’re so funny!” Kevin smiles nervously, biting on his bottom lip as he refuses to look at you at all. You continued to laugh a little bit more, the tears in your eyes and the stitch on your abdomen growing with each breath you took. It’s when Kevin doesn’t laugh along or show any indications of joining in that you raise your eyebrows, some sort of nervousness in your eyes, “Wait, you’re being serious?!”

“It’s crazy, I know!” You just stare at him in shock, your mouth hanging wide open at your best friend next to you, “I think I’ll take the chance and university can wait. People can apply to university anytime but this?” He is finally telling you his worries and thoughts that have been running endlessly after two months of keeping it in, “It’s kind of time crucial.”

"Yes,” You understood his worries, knowing that the life of being a celebrity or an idol is quite limited. It has never been said explicitly but at least for Korean companies, there is a reason why there is always a certain age limitation when auditioning, “I get that but Kevin, are you sure? I get that you've always been into music and you've always been good at it! Trust me, I know! But you've always wanted to be here as well! You never really wanted to be a musical artist."

"That's why life is crazy right?"

You just finished your last class of the day and surprisingly Kevin shows up, waiting for you, looking conflicted and stressed about a subject that you obviously did not know about. His tired smile told you everything, you being able to read him easily like an open book. Kevin realises this, his shoulder slumping in defeat with how you look at him in concern and he feels your hesitation to keep the conversation going.

“Your ‘passive-aggressive tiger parents’ are good with it?”

“Well,” Reminded of the day that Stella convinced their parents to let him go with his path and to support his desires, “I guess so? They let me do everything and introduced me to music so it ain't my fault!" He finally turns to you for the first time after the laughing fit, "You’ll support me right?"

"Of course I will!" You confirm incredulously, both your eyebrows raising and the volume of the sentence rising with each word, “Damn we only met a bit over three years ago but it really does feel like we’ve been friends since birth.”

Kevin shrugs, happy with your genuine response to his uncertainties, “I’m just cool in that way.”

A roll of your eyes is your only response to him, “So, when’s the last time that I’ll see your ‘slay’ful face?”

He grimaces at the way you worded the adjective, “Ew, what is that word?” But then the truth had to be dropped someday; that being right now, “Y-Yeah about that.”

“Kevin Moon.” You frown at the way he just whistles to avoid the subject, an obvious action to buy time, “Kevin.”

"Not too soon! Like…like five days…"

Comedically, the crows on the campus made their signature noise and you took in the information slowly.

"WHAT THE BLEEP DUDE?!"

"OKAY IN MY DEFENCE I REALLY DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO! YOU KNOW HOW INDECISIVE I AM!"

"OKAY BUT YOU NEVER BOTHERED TO TELL ME?!"

"I'M SORRY!"

Smiling at the obvious decrease in the stack of papers that needed to be marked, you decide to stretch your limbs and take a breath of fresh air before your energetic third graders arrive at school. You really left it to the last minute and you can’t wait to finish the last day of the week so that you can chill until another week starts. The weather was strangely gloomy, possibly due to the rainfall and the colder wind. You kind of regretted coming out, especially since the steam from your coffee no longer had that hypnotising white swirl in the air.

But you didn’t leave.

Instead, you even lean over the balcony’s metal railing. Even with the long sleeve covering your elbows, you enjoyed the contrast between your still-healthy body temperature and the icy surface. You weren’t sure why either but you just wanted to bask in the cold air and you can only pray that you weren’t going to get sick. The weather causes your shoulders to tense, bringing them towards the centre of your body to try and conserve some heat. It didn’t work that well but you were still feeling some sort of comfort with the morning weather.

You didn’t realise the time that passed by faster when you were practically doing nothing. The driveway, parking lots, and walkways eventually fill themselves with the diverse colours of school bags, shoes, and hair accessories. Mentally preparing yourself for the day ahead, you prepared your ‘teacher smile’, trying your best to hide your fatigue from the seemingly long week.

"Teacher, teacher!"

You finally lean away from the railing, giving a slight nod to the parent of your most energetic student, and the gesture is returned straight away. Crouching down to match his eye level, you put your palm out to him and he slaps his palm on yours, "Wow. Looks like someone had too much sugar."

"Teacher! Do you know K-Pop?" Your body froze just like the raindrops that didn’t make it to the floor, hanging solid on the rooftop’s overhang, "It's a huge thing right now!"

Oh, if only he knew…

"I can hear your rumbling thoughts like an open book." After his flustered state and a string of apologies that led you to put him in a joking headlock, Kevin grew quiet once again, letting his thoughts fill in the atmosphere between you both, "What's up? And don't lie because you know you suck at it."

The boy attempts to change the subject again, "If it's a book then wouldn't it be read instead of heard?"

"...ok smartass." You stare at him unimpressed with his attempt, "But no seriously, what's up? You know that it's okay not to be okay."

"It's just that…" He ponders, a sad smile on his face as he thinks about his current life situation, "My life is fine as it is right now. It's all great: I'm going to a good university, studying the course I want and I'm looking forward to being a teacher." An eyebrow slowly raised on your side, prompting him to continue, "Why is this happening now? Why is this happening when everything is going fine?" Kevin's facade finally breaks, his eyes pooling with tears with the many unanswered questions, "Why didn't this opportunity come earlier? Maybe when I wasn't in university? I can't even get a refund now…"

"Hey…" Kevin rarely cries in public. For one, you've only seen him cry twice and both times were because he dived in too deep with his plans, making him depressed and lost. You realised once again, with the tears that fell on his jeans that Kevin is not the happy-go-lucky guy who he displays himself to be most of the time. He's human above everything else and even though he always tries to see the best in every situation, it's moments like these that you see your best friend in a different light than the rest of the world, "Money is not all to life, you know? What's the point of stacking up money when you can't even do what you want?"

"But then why would people be so money-crazed then? People work for money…"

"To use it on what they love and need. Some people don't even feel like work is for money." Even though Kevin just stares down at the floor, swinging his legs in the air, you know that he's taking in everything you're saying, "But that's beside the point right now, okay? If making the stage your usual routine will lead you to happiness, then I want you to take it."

"But…why?" The clause can never be fully answered and Kevin knew that despite his multiple endeavours to rake for answers, "Why me? When everything is going well?"

"Because God has different plans for you." Inhaling the colder air, you told yourself to remember this moment between you and him, "I'm not saying you're pretending to be someone you're not. But the moment that you stop pretending, the moment you accept that something out there is better for you, I think will be the moment when you finally accept yourself."

"Are you positive that it'll come?" His voice decreased, along with the final bits of his self-confidence, "The journey of self-acceptance, I mean."

You both have been talking in hushed whispers, as gentle as the whistling wind. But you decide to finally add confidence into the conversation.

"Hey Kevin." The said boy looks up to you, "Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand…"

"...that he may lift you in due time." He finishes the biblical passage that he has been fascinated with for the longest time.

Satisfied, you nod, proud of him, "I can't answer your 'whys', Kevin. To be honest, I don’t think anyone can." You finally voice your opinion, knowing now that your time with him is limited, "But just know that even though you would have strived here in university, one of God's greatest gifts for you is your musicality."

Your words relieve Kevin of his headache, heartache, and the shirt that he has been clamping since the start of the day. You chuckle when Kevin asks for a hug, opening your arms wide to offer him the best comfort that he will forever cherish and be thankful for. Soothingly, you sway your body side to side, humming the melody to the latest (and last) song that you performed together. Kevin joins in with his harmony which has always left people in awe and starstruck.

"Maybe you're just meant to be up there and twerk in front of the camera and not just to our friends." You comment when the song comes to an end.

"Wow, alright." His sniffles didn't cease even when he dragged the final 'w' and 't'.

"You'll be okay, Kevin." The light but secure taps on his back prove your reassuring words, "I know you will."

"Surely…right?" It's the final question that he would ever ask you about this subject, "As we know, not everything we see on the screen is real. I just feel like I'll lose myself because the idol world wants us to be a certain way."

"No, I don't think you will." You pull Kevin away, pouting at his flushed cheeks and tired face, "I know it's stressful to keep up with society but I hope you know that there will be people that will love and support you. And if you make a mistake? If you lose yourself in shape, way, or form? Then you fight. You fight for your rights and fight for them righteously. You’ll fight because like you always say: learn from relationships. You learn the do's and not do's and still keep the relationship genuine."

“You have that much faith in me?”

“I do.” You tilt your chin high in the air, confidence finally reaching him in the form of a bright smile, "And for those who don’t,” You shake your head, flipping your hair back sassily, “those bitches can walk out the door."

You remember the memory somewhat fondly. To be honest, you found it a bit funny because you lost your best friend over music. You would learn after his departure that you would never find a friend like him ever again. Ironically, it was music that brought you two together—yet it was the same thing that drifted you both apart.

It took a while for you to bounce back. You grew bitter about doing music especially when Kevin no longer answered any of your messages anymore out of nowhere. When you bumped into Stella while grocery shopping, you found out that it was because of his phone ban as a trainee. You remember going home that day, feeling guilty that you blamed him, not considering his external situation; especially when you knew that Kevin would never cut someone off without an explanation. Yes, it’s been lonely; you did lose your best friend after all. At first, you regretted letting him go, you resented him for not texting you back and you avoided the stage because it reminded you of him.

But God had a different plan for you too. Because when you accidentally clicked on one of the recommended videos on your page, the satisfied smile, the happy tears and the relieved exhale showed your real feelings that you were merely in a phase of confusion. All the hate, all the resentment, all faded as soon as you heard the slightly changed vocal timbre that you unfortunately are no longer used to. You found peace with the person who dances happily underneath the flashing, colourful lights with ten other boys.

“Teacher?” The boy’s innocent head tilt pulls you back to the present time and he seems pleased with the way you nod to his question, “I like K-Pop too! I found this group! They’re called THE BOYZ!”

You were amazed at the stars that the topic put to your student’s eyes and you nodded intently to his excited story. It’s not long after when the mother pushes her child in, sitting him down so that you can get on with your priorities. You straighten your knees, standing back up, pushing your hips out side to side to stretch from the unexpectedly long conversation.

“Damn, Kev…” Your shoulders and chest rise at the deep breath and your hands find their place on your hips, “And after all these years…you’re still able to make me smile?”

The starting bell rang just in time for your last student to arrive just before you closed the glass door to block out the outside background noise. With the final student ready and set up, you stand in front of the electronic board that displays the first class of the day. Your mind begins to wonder again, particularly about the boy that you once shared a dream with. Routinely, you rhythmically clap to grab everyone’s attention, and surely enough, the conversations between the students die down, and you give back the fond look that your students gave you.

“Shall we start music class?”

The enthusiastic response answers your wondering thoughts and the question you asked yourself outside the classroom.

“Guess that’s just you, Kevin. That’s just who you are, Kev.”

navi/masterlist!! 🤍 series introduction 🤍 series masterlist tags (send a dm/ask if you would like to be here!): @deoboyznet 📢❤️ @k-labels 💙🤍 @k-films 🤎🎞️ @kflixnet 📺🍿

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fandom-rants · 10 months

Note

What’s your opinion about Tony taking Peter along with him to the airport? Of course he did NOT force him or blackmail him, people are literally making shit up to make Tony look bad (because that’s literally all they have, just words without facts) but just in general what do you think?

The way i see it, this is a good, supposed to be safe mission preparation first mission for him, but people saying he was bad for doing this to peter.

What do you think?

I mean, storyline-wise, it's pretty forced. The MCU high-ups were like, "Spider-Man makes money; let's get him in there!" So. What can you do.

From within, I liked how we were already well past his origin story, and I loved the dynamic between two Nerdy Boys, I thought the thing about Aunt May being young was weird but fine, since I love getting away from tropes and the 'sweet grandma' trope has been beaten to death. I loved Spider-Man as he was written and acted because he was the quintessential silly nerd weirdo who got crazy excited over stuff and nerded out about weaponry and superheroes and everything.

I liked how Tony was explicitly stated to order Peter to stay back and just web them up. I like how both of them were still playing around a little bit; the "Underoos!" thing made it clear Tony wanted Steve to knock it off but never expected a real fight. Even after having Spider-Man take Steve's shield, he still didn't instigate a battle; he just wanted to use Spider-Man as a tool for de-escalation. I was pleasantly surprised, at the time, by Steve being the one to push for a battle, and for his side to end up going WAY too far over and over again, because it proved his imperfections, which I love to see in my superheroes. (I of course abhorred the backtracking in later movies.)

Overall, I thought Tony noticing Peter made sense, since Tony's been leading the Avengers in all but name since the start, no matter what anyone says about Steve, and it makes sense for Tony to be on the lookout for others like himself and the team. It also makes sense that Tony sat on this after learning who Peter was until he found he needed someone to help him get his friends back before the United States government killed them. I wasn't fond of the sudden trip to Germany, but I understood the need for speed and, with the information given about Tony's original plan, I realize he was backed against a wall and making a tough choice.

I loved how, when everything got bad as hell, Tony stopped everything and ran to Peter to order him to stand down and stay out of the fight; I loved how scared he'd been when he'd gotten to Peter's side, because the kid had been in real danger thanks to Steve's team and could have gotten hurt far worse. It is telling to me that Steve was the one to injure Peter, even after learning how young Peter was (there's no way Peter's voice was the voice of an adult, ffs), yet Steve did not ensure Peter was okay. Tony did. Tony was the one to check if the kid was all right and then ensure he stayed out of the increasingly escalating battle.

If the rest of the MCU movies hadn't come out and I hadn't been forced by a bunch of brats on the Internet to endure some of the dumbest bullshit the MCU fandom writes about how sweet angel Steve Rogers did no wrong and evil devil Tony Stark wrought the world asunder, I would actually say that I loved Civil War, for all its faults. Because Steve wanted to be a hero, Tony kept trying to hold everything together, and neither of them did a perfect job but Tony did well and Steve did horribly, and it was about time we got some character depth on Captain America and got to see Tony's merits as a leader, too.

And then. You know. The rest of the movies, and the fandom, and now I want to burn the world to ashes every time someone even mentions MCU Steve Rogers or Civil War to me.

#mcu rant #avengers rant #civil war rant #anti steve rogers #anti fandom #anti fandom stupidity #tl;dr - Spider-Man was done well and his part in the battle was done well #humans are just stupid #long post

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livelovecaliforniadreams · 7 months

Text

Jenna People wrote in and said, There is a story going around on the Internet saying that the writers originally intended for Jim to have an affair with Cathy.

Angela No!

Jenna Yeah.

Angela No!

Jenna But that John Krasinski was so heavily against this idea that he convinced the writing staff to change their minds about the storyline. Is this true?

Angela Well, you would have never gone for that either.

Jenna Yeah. No.

Angela Uh no.

Jenna We can clear this up right now. Jim was never going to have an affair with or hook up with Cathy. However.

Angela There's a however?

Jenna There were things about the proposed storyline that did bump me and John. Here's how it all went down. So after we filmed Cathy's phone call at the end of Special Project, you know, where she's like talking to her friend and it becomes clear that she's going to go after Jim in Tallahassee. It comes out of the blue.

Angela Out of nowhere.

Jenna Well, that was a total record scratch for me and John. We kind of immediately went into Paul's office and we were like.

Angela Wha- wha- wha- what?!

Jenna Yeah, we were like, exactly, like where is this going? We said, There is no way that Jim can hook up with Cathy. And Paul was like, That is not part of our plan, I promise you. No, that's part of her plan. That's Cathy's plan. Jim is not in that plan. And I actually checked with Warren and Halstead, who wrote this episode, and they confirmed that it was never part of the plan. And, lady, don't ask me how I have it, but I have the original Goldilocks outline for this episode.

Angela You know why?

Jenna Why?

Angela Because you're my best friend. And we're both digital hoarders. You say it's really just me, But you have some old stuff you hold onto.

Jenna I have a few things.

Angela Now you hold on to things almost a little bit more intentionally, whereas mine is just like, you know, crazy clutter.

Jenna Yeah. Well, I did collect things that had to do with Jim and Pam.

Angela Yes.

Jenna And what the Goldilocks was, it was the kind of very first story outline for every script.

Angela Right. Before they went off and wrote anything.

Jenna Exactly. This was what the writers could use when they went to write the script. And it was based on everything that had been pitched. And this document had to be approved by the producers. There is nothing in the Goldilocks about Jim hooking up with Cathy for this episode. Nothing.

Angela So this is even more.

Jenna More proof.

Angela More proof.

Jenna Yes. When I talked to Warren about it, he said that the character of Cathy was always meant to be a kind of like provocateur. You know, you think about when she was introduced. Pam is really bothered that Jim won't admit that she's objectively attractive.

Angela Right.

Jenna But it was never pitched or it was never the intention that Jim would have any romantic feelings toward Cathy. It was always kind of understood by the writers that that was off limits. However.

Angela Another however.

Jenna Another however. In the very first drafts of this script, there was a lot more kind of teasing of the audience. Like, will he? Like, is he being charmed by her? Is he flirting back with her? Or is he just being a nice guy? Like in the version you see here, he is so clearly uncomfortable and is a giant no every time she does something. But in the original script, there was a little bit more like repartee.

Angela Hmm.

Jenna And John and I got to read that, and it really bumped us. We felt like even walking that line was a betrayal. And we did not want that for Jim and Pam's relationship. You know, the producers said that the idea was that they were putting temptation in front of Jim to show how committed he was to Pam. Those teases were more to create tension for the audience than they were to imply that Jim would ever do anything. But because we complained, they made some tweaks to make sure that it felt like this was 100% driven by Cathy and there would be no mixed signals from Jim. Like we didn't want there to be anything where it was like you could say, Well, Jim, you shouldn't have laughed with her in that moment, or you shouldn't have whispered in her ear during that conference room scene. Like, of course she's getting the wrong idea. Those are like examples of kind of the little things that she could have taken the wrong way.

Angela Right.

Jenna So the shooting draft of the script also included a scene where Pam calls Jim's hotel room on speakerphone and Cathy answers the phone.

Angela Oh, I know.

Jenna Yes, we shot it. It was written that Pam is really insecure about this. And even though it was really clear from Jim's side that he's really uncomfortable with Cathy in the room, Pam can't see that. So I didn't like that scene. I didn't like that Pam would become so easily insecure. Because, again, I felt like that pointed to a bigger issue in the marriage. And I asked them, like, How is that going to get resolved? Like, is Pam ever going to tell Jim her feelings?

Angela Yeah. What's the long term ripple effect of that moment?

Jenna Yeah. And there wasn't really an answer. They were like, Oh, it's not an arc. Don't worry. And I'm like, No, but if you're going to bring it up, it's- we should-

Angela It's out there.

Jenna It's out there. So. Yeah.

Angela Well, I watched that scene because it's in deleted scenes, and, you know, there is more to it. There's more to the phone call.

Jenna Yeah. I mean, some of that was a late night writing scramble. I was going to bring it up kind of like where it would happen in the breakdown. So we should definitely talk more about it. I mean, I still have more to say.

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