#so that fucking translates to being bad at dating apps

[m-owo-n]

.

#I just feel like giving up on the idea of making friends fr #I’m turning 26 in December and it’s just so fucking hard #I’m so lonely #but everyone that I try to reach out to already has their people or are moving or are focusing on what’s happening in their lives #and I get it #I’m just so alone #because even my friends back home rarely talk to me because again they’re focused on what’s immediately in front of them #I never made internet friends because I never understood how #like the ‘don’t talk to strangers online’ stick hit me over the head and I was like 👍 ok #so that fucking translates to being bad at dating apps #so that leaves meeting people organically and that’s just not working #d #personal #idk I’m just sad

[alisonfelixwrites]

sunlit. - part two - muse one shot [harry styles au]

//

part one.

summary: in which Eden and Harry lost track of one another after she moved back to the UK, and she is visiting her father's house a year later with her boyfriend.

A/N: you guys asked for a part two.......... BUCKLE UP

word count: 18,859

CW's: age gap, SMUT! oral (f & m receiving), rimming (f & m receiving) spitting, choking, degrading, unprotected sex, anal play , mentions of a threesome

//

“Sadie…” Harry sighed, stroking his hand over his dog’s head as she whined softly, her head resting on his lap. He rolled his eyes a bit, “No need to be dramatic now. You’re the one who licked the bar of soap.”

He softly scolded the dog, always rather happy that no one could hear him as he spoke to his dogs as if they were humans.

Harry was beat. Not only was it about forty degrees outside in the peak of summer in Italy, but he had a right scare today when Sadie started throwing up. Panicked, Harry sprinted to the house of his neighbors to ask them to watch the smallest dog as he took the biggest to the vet, but no one answered.

Grumbling and cursing under his breath, Harry then brought both dogs with him. He knew Lola wouldn’t be calm when Sadie wasn’t there, so leaving her home by herself wasn’t an option. 

After a day of vet-visits, comforting Sadie and rolling his eyes when he realized she licked the bar of soap and got sick because of that - Harry was now home. Both dogs snuggled into his side as he laid on the leather couch in his living room, fan blowing in full force in an attempt to keep the three of them a little cooler.

Harry loved living in Italy. He hadn’t regretted it for a second, but days like today made it even impossible to be outside for longer than a few minutes. Even a dip in the pool wouldn’t cool him off enough. He needed to stay inside.

With his shirt unbuttoned and one hand on Sadie’s fur, he grabbed his phone. The Italian news was on but Harry hardly paid attention, opening up the dating app on his phone. He blinked while lazily scrolling, deleting every profile he came across as none of the women he saw peaked his interest.

No one had really peaked his interest in a long time. No one but Eden.

Harry clenched his jaw and sighed out through his nose, swiping the other way on a few profiles in a pathetic attempt to prove to himself that he was no longer thinking of her. It had been a fucking year. And this girl, who was ten years younger than, left a gaping hole in his heart when she left after their summer romance.

He wasn’t exactly sure what he missed. At first it was the sex, because that was the main thing about their meet-ups. Sex and sex and sex. And then he missed her smile, and her scent, and the rambles she did, and how grumpy she was in the mornings, and how she made his coffee and excitedly walked the dogs and kept him company. 

Harry hated to admit that he fell for her. 

He brought the screen a bit closer as he squinted at the description one of the women wrote on her profile.

“Looking for a serious relationship.” He mumbled, translating the italian before huffing out, “Yeah, skip.” He locked his phone again and sighed out, swallowing as he attempted to not think about Eden.

He failed, of course.

He always failed. Harry knew it was better this way. They had no future. She wouldn’t move here, and he was too set in his ways to uproot his Italian life and move back to London for a girl. Harry wasn’t pliant. If he were to meet someone, she’d have to fit his mold. Some called it stubborn, others called it being an asshole. Harry called it being his own person and protecting that. 

Sadie’s eyes closed as she laid her head on his tummy and Harry scratched below her chin for a bit to calm her. Lola snuggled into his other side and he stroked her fur too, eternally grateful for his two dogs. He wondered if they missed Eden when she left. 

He knew it was bad to be involved with her. They had to hide and she had to sneak over to his house most nights. They couldn’t decently go out, afraid of being seen. So they stayed in and Eden quickly made his house a home for herself. Harry remembered the third or fourth time she walked in, it was as if she owned the place. She knew where everything was and moved through Harry’s large house with such confidence and comfort, it almost felt like he was the visitor instead of her.

And he allowed her. He allowed her to buy plants, he allowed her to rearrange his furniture, he allowed her to tape her favorite shows on his television, he even allowed her to paint over one of the walls that had a dreadful gray color before. Every time he walked past the muted orange wall of the hallway now, he was sledgehammered back to a painting Eden in this very house.

It had never felt so lonely here as it did after she left.

He groaned to himself, running a palm over his face before deciding to just get to bed and clear his mind. It had been a year. He had to get a grip. 

His dogs whined and pouted from the movement of his body and Harry coaxed them, even picking small Lola up on his arm to carry her upstairs after he turned off the fan and locked all the doors. He checked their water bowls and made sure the water was nice and fresh for them before heading up the stairs, Sadie trotting behind him.

Harry yawned as he set Lola down on his sheets and Sadie jumped up too, almost knowing her side of the bed and leaving Harry’s untouched. His sheets were still ruffled from when he got up this morning, and Harry shrugged off the linen shirt he wore to maybe grab a quick, cold shower before bed - the ultimate way to cool down.

Walking around his bedroom, he couldn’t help it when his eyes were drawn to his window to glance at Eden’s window. The light hadn’t been on there in a year. He sometimes saw a bit of movement, but suspected it was just Ron or Colleen cleaning the room. 

But now, he stopped dead in his tracks.

It was dark outside, but her lights were on. The lights in Eden’s room were on. Harry squinted as he walked up to the window, dropping the shirt in his hand and blinking to get a clearer view of what was going on.

That’s not Eden, he thought to himself.

No, he saw a shirtless guy, leaning back against the windowsill. Harry could only see the guy’s back and shaggy brown hair. His shoulders were tense, fingers gripping around the windowsill as the guy tipped his head back. Harry’s brows raised, wondering who the hell this was.

Did Ron and Colleen rent out their house for the weekend?

“Oh my god.” Harry mumbled, bile rising up in his throat when a second person emerged.

Eden.

She rose from her knees, a smile on her lips as she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and licked her lips, even wiping her mouth a bit with the back of her hand. Harry didn’t have to wonder what she was doing on her knees in front of him.

Her hair was slightly longer and a bit more wavy, and she was in a sport’s bra. Harry’s throat ran dry when he couldn’t even blink. He couldn’t move. If Eden had eyes for anything else but the guy in front of her, she’d for sure see Harry. But Eden didn’t take her eyes off the guy, smiling as she wrapped her arms around his shoulders and he pulled her in for a kiss.

Harry blinked a few times, wondering if he was fucking dreaming. Eden arched into the guy, who went on to cup her ass, lifting her up easily before they disappeared from view.

The lights were still on, and Harry saw their shadows dancing on the wall of the bedroom he had the view of. He saw tangled legs for a bit, but every other part of their bodies was concealed by the curtains or the brick wall of the smaller house next to Harry’s.

He felt sick. She was here? Eden was here?

Harry’s hands trembled as he quickly pulled out his phone, scrolling down to his text-conversation with Eden.

His stomach sank a bit when he noticed the final message they had exchanged. One from her, from about seven months ago. And even before that, the conversation was mostly one sided. Eden texted him good morning on most days, and Harry only sparsely replied. 

At the time, he didn’t feel like too much of a dick about it. He basically thought he was doing her a favor. When Eden left, they promised to text and call. And they did, for the first few weeks. But it died down. Eden got a job, hung out with friends, had her life back home while Harry was here. She didn’t make plans to come here, he didn’t make plans to go there and it just… ended. 

In her last message she ever sent him, she asked him if he slept well. He never responded. It was a moment of clarity for Harry, realizing it wasn’t going anywhere and they had no future. He was a fool to think they ever did. And so he broke it off and just stopped responding.

Now, with trembling fingers, he drafted up a message to her.

Message to: Eden, xx

Am I dreaming?

His thumb ghosted over the screen as he stared at the words, flicking his eyes back to the window every few seconds until his shoulders dropped a bit. He deleted the message. 

The lights were still on but he didn’t see anything anymore. He felt sick. Absolutely sick. The first time he saw Eden in a year and she was in bed with another guy.

Eden’s phone on the bedside table stayed silent as Harry decided not to text her, and she laid on the bed with Jason between her thighs. They had to keep it down, remembering her father and Colleen were downstairs watching television.

“Careful.” Eden whispered as the bed rocked into the wall a little too hard. Jason groaned into her neck, “Fuck - I can’t slow down, ‘m so close.”

Eden pouted as she ran her hands through his hair, “I haven’t cum yet.”

Jason slammed inside of her, making Eden squeak a bit as she jolted up on the bedding. He stayed deep, completely hunched over her, “G-Give me a second.” He panted, recomposing himself. Eden bit her lip and nodded, allowing Jason a little time if it meant getting her off. She stroked her thumb over his cheekbone, staring into the deep blue of his eyes and he dropped his lips on hers, shortly kissing her. 

“Rub your clit, baby.” He whispered against her lips. Eden nodded, slipping her hand between their bodies. Jason’s cock moved inside of her, the condom and Eden’s arousal making the glide slick and easy. Her fingers found her nerves, rubbing tight circles as Jason fucked into her again, making her breathing shorter and she bit her lip to keep her moans down.

“Shit.” Eden choked on a moan as she reached her high, and Jason saw it as his cue to finally cum too, burying himself inside of her as he finished inside the condom. 

Eden lazily smiled as her body buzzed in the aftermath of her high, and Jason pressed sloppy kisses into her neck, “Hmm, baby…” He hummed.

They laid together for a bit until Jason pulled out to go clean himself up in the bathroom. Eden stretched her muscles, rolling around the bed a bit. She was still wearing her sport’s bra and reached for her panties to put them back on. As she reached for her shirt, Jason came back into the bedroom, still naked.

He sleepily smiled, “We should take a trip more often if you’re gonna jump me like that.”

Eden bit her lip and chuckled, shrugging her shoulders, “Yeah, ‘s nice here. But please don’t walk around naked, my dad or Colleen won’t appreciate it.”

Jason yawned and nodded, “Yeah, okay. Sorry.” 

Eden’s heart felt warm at his gentle apology and she planted a kiss to his lips, “Go to sleep. I’ll be right there.”

Jason plopped down into the bed as Eden stood in front of her window, her chest tightening just a smidge when she glanced at Harry’s window. His blinds were closed and the lights were off. 

Coming back here brought back all the memories. The first time she saw him through the window and waved at him, and the second time he watched her masturbate. All hell broke loose after that and they had basically been naked for weeks in a row.

And then she left and he ghosted her. And every kind word he ever said to her got drowned by the fact that he never responded when she wished him a good morning. On drunken nights, Eden was glad she blocked his number because she had been on the verge of calling him or sending him angry texts far too often. In the end, she was glad she never gave him the attention. 

Attention he clearly didn’t want anyway. 

The opportunity to go on holiday for free, staying in this house for a few weeks, was just too nice to pass on. Even if Eden could possibly be confronted by Harry. But they were both adults and she’d do her best to avoid him. Besides, she was here with Jason. 

They had only been dating for a few months but he was sweet and soft. And he was nothing like Harry. Harry was stern and dominant. Sometimes he was bossy. Furthermore, he was arrogant and closed-off. Jason was an open book. He confessed his feelings for Eden after only a few dates and it had been smooth sailing ever since. He had hearts in his eyes whenever he looked at her and she’d hardly have to breathe or Jason was ready to move mountains for her.

He was at Eden’s feet, if she was honest. He sweet, gentle and kind. And it brought a sense of freshness after whatever fling she had with Harry. She couldn’t call it a relationship. For it to be anything more than sex, they actually had to talk. And it was something her and Harry never really did. It was as if he always knew they’d end, which is why he never really opened up to her. What was the point in opening up if she’d leave?

Eden vividly remembered him asking her to cancel her flight. But he never asked her to stay, which is why he watched her go. And maybe Eden somehow made a bigger deal of it, but it did pain her when Harry ghosted her. Reflecting back on it, she knew he was toxic. She was a lost puppy for him, drunk on the sex and the way he threw her around and dominated her in the bedroom.

The orgasms Harry gave her were imprinted in her brain. How things were with Jason didn’t come close, but still satisfied her. Jason was gentle as a man, and gentle as a lover. He sometimes did what Eden asked of him, like spank her or choke her, but his heart was never really in it. She did enjoy the way he doted over her when he worried he hurt her. It was sweet. 

Jason was already lightly snoring by the time Eden also crawled in bed. He made room for her, smacking his lips together once as he yanked on her waist to pull her into his chest for the night.

Eden smiled to herself, nuzzling her nose into Jason’s jaw as she drifted off into a sleep.

***

Eden did seriously hope she could avoid Harry for just a little longer. 

It wasn’t much of a coincidence that Eden and Jason chose to take their holiday now - just as her dad and Colleen were going on a trip themselves. They were actually headed back to London to see the rest of the family, and Ron and Colleen had frowned when they realized their trip to London overlapped with Eden’s trip to Italy.

As if she hadn’t planned it that way.

So after just spending one day together at the house, it was the second morning in Italy and Eden’s dad and Colleen were making their bags to head to the airport.

It was Eden’s turn to drive them since there was only one car, and she’d be able to get around in Italy for the weeks they weren’t here. In a sense, Eden and Jason were housesitting. But Eden couldn’t wait for some uninterrupted time with him. They’d lounge around, do groceries, head to the markets and make day trips to the coast. 

Maybe they could rent a boat.

Eden hated how most of the fun things to do here were tainted with the memory of Harry. The market would bring her back to how they flirted so openly, and how Harry often called her from there to ask what she wanted for dinner. Renting a boat would bring her back to them having sex for the first time on the deck. 

To this day, it was the best sex Eden had ever had. 

Harry had been up early, jolting awake after dreaming of the images he saw the night before going to bed. 

Eden going down on that guy in her bedroom.

Part of Harry knew she was bound to return to the house one day. He didn’t have much contact with Ron and Colleen so he never asked them when she was coming back, and he also wasn’t sure if he did or didn’t want to see her again.

But seeing her again - even if it was with someone else - pulled on his heartstrings.

Although, the more he thought about it, the more he felt like she did it on purpose. It wouldn’t be the first time. Last year, she humped that pillow with her blinds open, knowing damn well Harry was watching her masturbate. Maybe she wanted him to see. Maybe she wanted to pay him back for ghosting her and make him jealous. It did seem like Eden to pull a move like that.

He peaked through his window that morning, seeing the car drive off with Eden behind the wheel. Ron was next to her, Colleen in the back. Harry nibbled his lip and leashed his dogs, taking them for a walk. He curiously stared at the house, walking past it maybe a few more times than needed. 

Eventually the door did open as Harry was on the little gravel road in front of the house, a guy popping his head out with a slight frown on his face, “Buongiorno.” He sent Harry an awkward wave, “Can I help you?”

Harry licked his bottom lip, knowing immediately this was the guy Eden had given a blowie two days prior. Sadie wiggled her tail at the sight of another human and the guy’s eyes dropped to Harry’s dogs, offering them a small smile as if to greet them.

Harry wanted to roll his eyes for no good reason. He cleared his throat and waved back, “Hello there. I’m the neighbor.”

“Oh.” The guy smiled, opening the front door wider and clearly dropping the hesitation he had going on earlier, “Hi, nice to meet you. Sorry, I just noticed you walking past the house like seven times, thought maybe you were scoping the surroundings to break in later tonight.” He joked, approaching Harry with an outstretched hand.

Harry forced another smile, somehow not finding it funny. He unenthusiastically shook the guy’s hand, “I’m Harry.”

He thought maybe the mention of his name would spark something with the guy, like Eden had perhaps mentioned him. But he just nodded and shook Harry’s hand, “Jason.” He introduced himself.

A douchebag name.

“So, a fellow Brit, right?” Jason guessed and Harry huffed out a chuckle, “Yeah, the accent’s hard to hide. Hey - uh, is Eden not home?”

Jason’s brows raised, “Eden? No, she’s driving her dad and Colleen to the airport. You must know Ron and Colleen, right?”

“Yeah.” Harry nodded, “I know Eden too.” He hinted again.

Jason slowly nodded, not catching on and Harry shot him a faint grin, secretly enjoying this very much, “She hasn’t mentioned me? We - uh, we actually used to date. Like last year when she was here for the summer.”

Jason’s brows shot up even higher as he stared at Harry, “What? You and Eden?”

“Mhm.” Harry smiled, “Kind of a… summer romance thing.” He casually shrugged, feeling as his dogs circled around his legs. Jason nibbled his lip, as if unsure how to handle that information, “Right. That’s - uh… yeah. No, she hasn’t mentioned you.” He shot Harry a puzzled look, while Harry tried to hide the fact that it pained him that Eden didn’t talk about him.

“How long have you two been together?” Harry asked the dreaded question and Jason’s face lit up a bit, “Few months, like… four.” He counted in his head before offering Harry a smile, “She’s great.”

“Oh, yeah, she’s great.” Harry enunciated the word a little too much for Jason’s liking, who swallowed, “So - yeah, it’s kind of our first trip together. Ron and Colleen are ironically heading back to London for a few weeks to see family, so we’re watching the house.” Jason explained.

Harry wasn’t sure if he had to laugh or cry. A few weeks. A few weeks of Eden being next door, fucking this guy while he was brooding in his living room, pining over a girl he let slip from his hands. He swallowed thickly, “That’s nice.”

A silence fell between them. Harry glanced at Jason, who was looking at Sadie and Lola. He looked younger. Not younger than Eden, but younger than him. His facial hair grew a little patchy and his hair was the type of shaggy that would look awful on Harry because it’d be like him trying to look too young for his age. But Jason got away with it. He was a bit shorter and not as muscular as Harry was. And Harry came to the stupid realization that Jason didn’t particularly look young, but maybe he just looked old.

Harry cleared his throat, “‘M gonna head back inside and let the dogs get their drink in.” He spoke, “Nice meeting you.”

Jason nodded and smiled, “Yeah, you too, man. If you ever need someone to watch the dogs or something… E and I would be more than happy.”

E.

Harry wanted to roll his eyes and knock Jason’s teeth out, but settled on a forced smile, “I’ll keep it in mind. Thanks.”

When Eden came back a few hours later, she felt butterflies in her stomach. Completely ignoring Harry’s house, she pulled up in the driveway of the house her and Jason would call home for a few weeks. She nearly jumped out of the car to head inside, finding Jason in the kitchen with a wide grin and immediately opening his arms for Eden to jump in them. She squealed in his ear, “Finally alone.” She whispered against his lips.

Jason kissed her lips, holding her up below her thighs, “Did everything go okay?” He checked and Eden nodded, “Mhm. I’m so glad we have the car though. We can take little day trips.” Eden stroked her fingers through Jason’s hair, “Like… go to the beach, or a winery…” She mused out loud.

Jason smiled and kissed her again, “Sounds amazing.” He let her down on her feet again, “Hey, by the way, I met the neighbor.”

Eden’s head flipped quickly, staring at him, “What?”

“Yeah, Harry.” Jason leaned back against the counter, “He - uh… he said you two used to date. Like… last year.”

Eden nibbled her lip, her stomach feeling tight at the idea that Harry and Jason talked. She swallowed, “We didn’t date.” She shrugged, “We just slept together. I was here for a few weeks after graduation and I left when I got the job offer.”

Jason slowly nodded, “Right.”

“We tried to keep in touch.” Eden continued, “Like we texted and called. And then he ghosted me.” She shrugged before nibbling her lip again, “I told you about the guy I was getting over, right? When we met?”

“Mhm, you did.” Jason didn’t seem at all angry or jealous, he was simply curious. Eden also knew he’d never lash out against her. She was pretty sure she could cheat on him and he’d still forgive her, that’s how much he liked her and how gentle he was. Eden nodded too, “Well, that was him.”

“Okay.” Jason nodded again, “I mean, that’s fine, right? He’s just a guy.” Jason shrugged, “He just… I don’t know, he looked a little old.” He chuckled.

Eden smiled too, “He’s not that old.” She shook his head, “Like… early thirties, I’m pretty sure.”

“And are you still like… I don’t know, into him?” Jason checked. Eden dropped her eyes, “I mean, I was hurt when it ended. It only did last a few weeks, but it was intense. It felt vulnerable.” She tried to explain, “But no, I don’t have any hard feelings towards him. Like you said, he’s just a guy. I wouldn’t even classify him as an ex, it was never anything official and I was never his girlfriend. We… we barely talked.”

Jason gently stroked Eden’s arm, “But he did mean something to you.”

“Yeah.” She shrugged and Jason nodded, “Well, he seemed nice.” He settled on saying. 

“I mean, now it feels kind of weird.” Eden mumbled, “Like he’s next door and I’m here and we haven’t spoken in like… eight months. And he’s talked to you but not me.” She wondered out loud, “Maybe I should just go say hi really quick.”

Jason pressed his lips together but forced Eden a smile, not having the heart to disagree with her, “Yeah, if you want to.” He shrugged, “You could.”

Eden nervously fiddled with her fingers, “Right.” She made attempts to get up from the couch, “I’ll just be a few minutes.”

Jason opened his mouth but didn’t say anything, just nodded as Eden exited the house and walked into the warm evening air of Italy. The small stones crunched underneath her slippers as she made her way over to the familiar house that was Harry’s.

She couldn’t keep count of the amount of times she had done this little walk. Sneaking out at night to go sleep at his place. She jumped his fence often, hid in the bushes, took the back entrance. But now, it felt formal. So Eden rolled her lips inside of her mouth and shakily raised her hand to ring his bell.

Eden didn’t know why she was nervous. It was like Jason said, Harry was just a guy. A guy she had feelings for, a guy who hurt her. But a guy who told her it was never that deep and Eden knew from the get-go not to get her hopes up. But time and romance were a cruel combination, and the feelings snuck up on her.

Sure, she was the one who left. And Eden only did realize how much she missed him once she was back in London. Harry couldn’t be persuaded to visit her and he never asked her to come back to Italy. And that was that.

Lola and Sadie both lifted their heads when someone rang the bell late in the evening. Harry had returned from walking them and was watching some Italian game show as he laid on the leather couch with the fan blowing full speed to keep them a little cool. 

He ran a hand through his hair and frowned, gently nudging Sadie off as his bare feet hit the cold tiles and he walked over to the front door. He wasn’t sure what he was expecting, but somehow the sight of Eden didn’t completely surprise him.

She peered up at him and he blinked, hit with every memory of her in front of his door. The playful smile was replaced with a nervous one, and she didn’t jump into his arms for them to stumble inside the house this time, rather had her hands locked behind her back as she nervously shifted on her feet.

“Uh - hi.” He mumbled, his chest pounding as Eden swallowed, “Hey. I - uh… Jason said you spoke to him. Thought I’d come say hi.” She shrugged.

“Jason.” Harry nodded, opening the door a bit wider, “Yeah.” He then let out a sharp breath, shaking his head, “It’s… it’s good to see you.”

Eden wanted to roll her eyes but settled on another small smile, “Mhm. You too.” She had questions burning on her tongue but swallowed them all back. She didn’t want to give Harry the satisfaction. Her eyes glanced inside the house longingly. She did always love this house. 

She remembered the paint stains on her skin after transforming that horrendous gray wall in the hallway. Eden wondered if her plants got taken care of once she left, or if Harry let them wilt and die.

A gentle bark from inside the house made her brows raise and a small smile played on her lips. Harry glanced over his shoulder before clearing his throat, “You wanna see the dogs?” He questioned.

Eden knew it was dangerous territory to get inside of his house. Harry was charismatic and somehow had such a huge amount of power over her, Eden found it hard to explain. She had her boyfriend next door and was supposed to only quickly say hi to Harry to avoid any awkwardness later on - but she found herself nodding at his question, “Sure.”

Harry opened the door wider, biting his lip when Eden brushed past him and into the house. She wasn’t hesitant when rounding corners and she moved through the furniture almost blindly. The smell of her perfume lingering behind her felt overwhelming to Harry, who leaned against the doorpost as he watched a brightly smiling Eden crouch down to greet Lola.

Both dogs excitedly wagged their tails and circled around Eden, booping her over and over again as she giggled, “Hi, girls.” She whispered, “Hi. Did you miss me?” She spoke in a little baby voice and Harry couldn’t stop the smile from spreading on his lips, “I think they did.”

Eden flicked her eyes to the side, swallowing as Harry watched her. She got up her feet again and Harry cleared his throat, “Sadie got sick actually, yesterday. She licked a bar of soap and started throwing up. Took her to the vet.” He wasn’t sure why he told that random story, maybe to break the silence. It felt nerve-wracking to have Eden in the room with him. 

There was tension. He wanted to walk up to her and kiss her and drag her upstairs to claim her again, but Eden had her guard up. He could sense it from a fucking mile away. 

“Right.” She breathed, swallowing away the lump in her throat. Eden glanced to the side to see the dead plants. Her fingers trembled a bit but she tried to play it so fucking cool. Harry didn’t deserve to see her suffer. It was almost as if Eden didn’t realize how hurt and angry she actually was until she saw him. Until he acted so fucking casual.

“You wanna drink something?” He suggested, breaking the silence.

Eden wanted to laugh. She shook her head before tilting it to the side, “Think a glass of wine will get me back in your bed?”

Harry’s brows raised at her blunt words. He knew Eden didn’t bite her tongue. He knew she was sharp and witty and always had a response. His shoulders tensed a bit, “No.” He mumbled, “That’s not… that’s not what I was trying to do.” It was.

Eden huffed softly, “Right.”

Harry frowned a little, “Is there… do you have some problem with me?”

“Me?” Eden raised her brows, “Nope.” She lied, “Look, I just wanted to come over and say hi. It felt weird that you spoke to Jason before speaking to me.” She tried to exit the house again but Harry blocked her and Eden had a fiery look in her eyes as she looked up at him, “I’d really like for you to leave us alone.”

Fuck, Eden tried to keep her cool but she couldn’t. She was two seconds away from completely exploding. All the emotions she had tucked away for months in a row, came back in full force. She never got to tell him. She never told him how it felt for her, how she coped, how she hurt. Harry had no fucking clue.

Harry gave her a puzzled look. He almost wasn’t sure if she was joking or not, “I-I am. Leaving you alone.” He shrugged, “You came knocking on my door.” It was childish and he knew it and Eden rolled her eyes. His chest tightened. He loved it when she did that. When she got so fucking bratty. Usually she did it because she was so passionate about a certain topic they got into a heated discussion.

Harry loved riling her up just for the sake of punishing her later on. And Eden loved it too. It was a bit of a toxic game they had going on. But now, Eden was pissed. 

“You chose your moment, hm?” She challenged, “Searching for Jason while I wasn’t there.”

“I was walking my fucking dogs, Eden.” Harry gritted through his teeth. God, he didn’t expect it to turn out this way, “Public street.”

“Should I have thrown pebbles at your window the evening you arrived, hm? While you were blowing that twat?!” The words were out before he realized it and Eden’s eyes widened in surprise. Her cheeks turned hot as she took a step back, “What?!”

Harry clenched his jaw and bit his tongue as he grumbled under his breath and Eden huffed out sharply, “Fucking hell - you saw me?!”

“Close your blinds!”

Eden gasped, “Then don’t fucking look! Oh my god!” She shook her head in disbelief, “You fucking pervert.”

Harry put his hands on his hips as he exhaled sharp breaths, swallowing, “I-I couldn’t not look. You were right there. I didn’t expect to fucking see you.”

Eden balled her fists, refraining herself from shoving him, “You have lost your fucking rights to spy on me through my window, Harry.” She bitterly spoke, “And I honestly didn’t think you’d even care.” She added the final bit in a mumble. 

Harry closed his jaw, lowering his gaze, “Why would I not care?”

“Because you fucking ghosted me.” Eden’s voice dangerously wobbled and she recomposed herself, taking a deep breath, “You don’t have the right.” She spoke, shaking her head, “Just… leave me and my boyfriend alone.”

She brushed past him this time, knocking her shoulder into Harry’s arm as she left the house. Eden ignored the whining of his dogs and only let a few tears fall once she was out on the street. Her heart hammered and she was crying out of sheer, sheer frustration.

The fucking nerve he had.

Eden hadn’t even thought twice when leaving the blinds open as she was on her knees for Jason. Her thoughts weren’t with Harry, but with her boyfriend. And he watched her. He couldn’t have seen much, but it felt too intimate for Eden. He was too close, again.

She felt vile, knowing Harry had watched her. It struck a nerve with her, but Eden felt just a tad bit better about herself when she realized it apparently struck a nerve with Harry too. He sounded jealous. And Eden knew it sounded petty, but she was kind of glad she could hurt him back, even if it was in the worst way.

Her rage died down once Eden walked back into the house to find a smiling Jason on the couch, “Hey.” He got up his feet, “How’d it go?”

“Fine.” Eden breathed before she pressed a small kiss to his lips, “He won’t bother us.”

Jason had a puzzled look in his face as his thumb stroked the nape of Eden’s neck. He looked like he wanted to ask more, but didn’t. Eden closed her eyes and kissed him again, determined to turn this into a great vacation with her boyfriend.

***

Harry felt miserable.

He peered out his front window, Lola circling around his leg as he held the toy he had throwing back and forth for her, in his hand.

His eyes were on Eden and Jason, who were loading up the car for another little day trip.

He heard Eden’s playful giggle and it made his skin crawl. The wind played with the short hem of her sundress and even got a glimpse of her underwear as she lifted her arms to pull Jason in for a kiss.

His stomach turned watching her be so happy with someone else. Jason gently patted her ass, whereas Harry would’ve grabbed it. Jason’s hand rested on the nape of Eden’s neck as she got behind the wheel to drive, whereas Harry’s hand would’ve been between her thighs to tease her during the drive.

And so Harry had a crisis that day. An existential crisis.

In all his impulsivity, he even looked up apartments or houses in London. He closed the website again after about thirty minutes, telling himself he was being ridiculous. Uprooting his life for a girl who was taken and told him to leave her alone? Pathetic.

He got back to scrolling on the dating apps but that lasted for just a few minutes. His mind constantly drifted to Eden. How she made him feel so light. He had to get used to her bubbly, bratty personality. But Eden was a sweetheart and she’d walk through fire for the people she cared about. She was passionate, fiery, and unapologetically honest. 

And he was a fucking coward.

He let her slip away. Eden presented herself on a silver platter for him but Harry turned her down. And he fucking missed her so much. His life had been so dull without her. Harry had always liked being alone. His life here was secluded. He had a few friends who came to stay every once in a while, but lost touch with a lot of people he left behind in Britain. Harry wasn’t… the best at keeping in touch. Contact just fizzled out, friendships disappeared. 

He was close to his mum but didn’t see her a lot. His sister called sometimes but she had a family and was busy. Harry didn’t have an important ex-wife or kids, so he was just by himself a lot. And it had never felt as lonely as it did when he watched Eden drive away with Jason and not him.

He swallowed thickly, reminded of the little getaways they did the year before. Eden in the passenger seat, kissing on his neck and unbuttoning his shirt as the wind played with her hair and she whispered things in his ear, so filthy to the point Harry pulled over on a remote road and yanked her on his lap for a quickie. 

They had fun, last summer. Once the elastic snapped, they had fun like Harry had never had before. And he fooled himself into thinking it was just sex. It wasn’t.

Harry knew he could either walk around, brooding all day, or he could do something. And so he opened up the dating app again and texted back one of the women who tried to hit him up over the past few weeks. 

She was Italian and beautiful, and responded right away, agreeing to a date that same evening. Harry tried to ease his mind, knowing he’d have company tonight. Who knew, she could be the love of his life.

It’s what he told himself when he drove off into town to meet up with her. And low and behold, the date was fun. Fun enough that she agreed to come back to his place afterwards for a drink and to meet his dogs.

Eden felt alerted when she heard the engines pulling up on the road as her and Jason laid in bed watching a movie. The window was open for fresh air and his fingers played with her hair as they watched a very pixelated version of some action movie that Jason wanted to see. Eden had to admit she dozed off every once in a while.

She felt like toast after lounging on the beach today, and surprisingly, the doing nothing tired her out. 

Eden yawned as she got up, frowning slightly when she noticed two cars pulling up into Harry’s driveway. She recognized his cabrio but the white car next to his was unknown to her. Her stomach dropped into her ass when she saw a beautiful brunette walking out. Harry had a charming smile on his lips as he guided her towards the front door.

“Everything okay?” Jason checked. Eden swallowed, “Mhm.” She smiled, “Everything’s fine.”

She felt hot, opening up the window all the way in hopes of cooling down a bit. Harry brought home another woman. Eden tried not to think of how often that had probably happened in the past year. Perhaps he even did it while they were still calling and texting.

Hiking her leg up over Jason’s hips, Eden peppered gentle kisses over his jaw. He raised his brows as he turned his head with a knowing smirk, and Eden bit her lip before their lips met and the movie was forgotten.

“And this is my bedroom.” Harry spoke in Italian as he guided the woman through his house. Eva was gorgeous and she smiled as her heeled feet took her through his bedroom, inspecting some of the books on his tv-stand, “Hai una bella casa.” She complimented.

He smiled and nodded, “Sì, mi piace qui.”

His eye caught the brightness in Eden’s bedroom through his window, and he softly cleared his throat as he walked up to Eva. She didn’t seem very surprised when he put his hands on her hips and nudged her back into the windowsill. The breeze played with her hair, Harry’s window on a crack.

He tested the waters, nerves creeping up in his body. He hadn’t done this in a while. His nose bumped Eva’s before he carefully kissed her. She reciprocated easily, fingers sliding up his shoulders as their lips touched.

She leaned back against the windowsill as the kiss slowly grew a bit heavier, and then Harry froze.

Because he heard it. He heard her. A soft moan filled his ear and it came from a distance. It came from Eden. His eyes snapped open and his body went rigid, alerting Eva. She frowned a little bit in confusion, “Tutto ok?” She asked and Harry quickly nodded, clearing his throat before he kissed her again.

He knew the way Eden sounded. He knew she wasn’t particularly loud, she wasn’t a screamer. Harry knew these were the sounds she made when she was enjoying herself. And it was Jason’s doing, not his. The only salvation he felt was knowing she used to be noisier with him. She used to gasp and sob and whimper, which she didn’t do now. Eden softly moaned and Harry kept his eyes on the window as he kissed Eva. Part of him expected Eden to pop up in front of her window any moment now, but he saw nothing but shadows on the walls.

He imagined her on her back with her legs locked around Jason’s head as he had his tongue on her. 

Harry sighed out through his nose, deepening the kiss with Eva and attempting to block out Eden’s moans. But he couldn’t stop listening either. How fucking convenient that Eden left her window wide open while she was fucking her boyfriend.

Almost too convenient, right? Harry couldn’t help but think she did it on purpose to get a rise out of him. Wanting him to leave her alone and then pulling this move.

A shaky squeak escaped Eden and Harry’s hand grabbed Eva’s ass, pushing his hips against hers. Eva moaned out and their kiss broke shortly, “Shh.” Harry shushed her, resuming their kissing. He needed Eva quiet so he could hear Eden.

And he heard her. He heard her giggling, the shadows on the walls moving and he heard the unmistakable creak of the bed. He heard the familiar gasp she let out when she got filled, and Harry’s stomach turned when he knew Jason was inside of her. 

It was confirmed when he heard skin slapping against skin, Eden’s delicate whimpers accompanied by panting breaths from the guy fucking her.

Harry’s fingers dug into Eva’s skin as he only kissed her harder and harder, and his bulge grew and pressed into the soft of her covered tummy. But it wasn’t due to her. Sure, she was beautiful, she was nice and they had fun. But listening to Eden moaning so sweetly made Harry have a physical reaction he didn’t expect. 

He was even scared to blink, so desperate to get a glimpse of Eden, to know what she was doing, to know how her face scrunched up or how her eyes watered or how she bit her lip.

Her moans grew a bit higher and sharper and Harry groaned under his breath, the sound swallowed by Eva when Eden unmistakably came.

It was Eva this time who pulled away, her cheeks a bit pink. She let out an uncomfortable chuckle and glanced over her shoulder to Eden’s open window, “È un po’ inquietante, non è vero?” She commented on the noises coming out of Eden’s room.

Harry swallowed, his hard-on trapped in his pants and his breathing came out in sharp puffs. He felt sick. “Mi dispiace.” He murmured the apology as he let go of Eva and took a few steps back. Harry ran a hand through his hair, “I can’t do this. N-Non posso farlo.”

Eva looked at him in confusion but Harry sat down on the edge of his bed, burying his face in his hands. It was quiet for a few minutes until Eva’s footsteps walked past him and then downstairs. He stayed in his bedroom until the front door slammed and he heard her engine.

And he was alone again. He sniffled once in misery, lifting his head as he ran his hands over his face and tiredly got up his feet. Standing in front of his window to close it, he glanced up to see Eden. She didn’t notice him, one hand holding the sheet around her chest to cover herself up and her other hand grabbing the handle of the window to close it.

Their eyes locked as both went to close their window and Eden froze for a moment, seeing the pained look in Harry’s face. Her cheeks flushed at the thought he might’ve heard or seen something. Without giving him another glance, Eden closed the window and closed the blinds.

It was safe to say Harry still felt miserable the next day. He was sure Eden would think it was too convenient that he went on a jog the same moment she did. She stepped outside early in the morning the next day, wearing a sport’s bra and shorts to brave the heat even that early on in the day.

Glancing to her side, Harry also left his house, wearing a tanktop and shorts. He had a clip in his hair and headphones on, glancing to his side to see her looking back at him. Eden rolled her eyes and shook her head. Tightening her ponytail, she started her jog and ran past him without giving him a look. Going down the hill, Harry pressed his lips together before he followed behind her.

He tried to keep a distance, but he was still running rather close to her. And Eden felt agitated. About halfway down the hill, she briskly turned around while panting, “Will you stop that?!” She snapped.

Harry frowned as he yanked the headphones off, “What?” He hadn’t heard her through the music.

“Running right behind me.” Eden clarified, “Will you stop that?”

Harry huffed, “Look, I’m just going for a jog.” He shrugged, “Great minds think alike, I suppose.”

“You said you’d leave me alone.” Eden ran the back of her hand over her forehead to get rid of the sweat pearling at her hairline. The early sun lit her up, midriff heaving from the jog she had done thus far. Harry panted too, scoffing, “I am leaving you alone. But it’s a bit hard when I can’t go to sleep without hearing you getting fucked by your twat of a boyfriend.” He bit.

Eden’s lips pressed together, “That… Look, I’m sorry. I-I forgot about the window.”

“Sure.” Harry sneered, exhaling a humorless laugh. He felt blazing fire in his chest all of a sudden, so done with Eden’s allegations, “Like last year, hm? When you humped a pillow and pretended you didn’t want me to see you?”

“Stop.” Eden frowned, shaking her head, “Don’t bring that up, that was a long time ago. Look, I apologized. It won’t happen again.”

“Just admit that you were trying to make me jealous.”

It was Eden’s turn to let out a bitter cackle, “Excuse me?! I’d say you’re the one making me jealous, bringing home that woman.”

Harry felt a flash of pride welling up inside him that Eden noticed that. He fought the grin on his lips and instead bit his tongue. Eden glared at him, “Besides, why the fuck would I want to make you jealous?! You skipped me, remember?”

Harry shook his head to himself and silence fell between them. Eden swallowed, crossing her arms in front of her chest, “I’m with someone else now. You don’t have… a claim over me anymore.”

“I miss you.”

Eden’s eyes widened and Harry’s shoulders dropped when the truth was finally out. After over a week of pining over her, here he was, spilling it all. He swallowed and shrugged, “I fucking miss you, Eden. I missed you. I-I was an idiot. And now you’re here and I know you missed me too, a-and I just want to go back what we were before.”

“And what exactly were we before?” Eden tried to keep her voice stern but it cracked as she challenged him with the question. Harry pressed his lips together, staring at his feet for a moment, “Just… us, I guess.”

Eden wanted to sigh at the words, because to her - they didn’t mean anything.

“I have a boyfriend.” She spoke. It was a weak defense and Harry huffed, “Yeah, I know.”

“Jason is sweet. He… He’s good to me.”

Harry chewed the inside of his cheek, “So he’s a doormat? Jesus, Eden - I know what it is you need, and it’s not sweet.”

Eden shook her head, “You don’t know.”

“I do.”

She sharply flicked her eyes up, “You don’t. Stop saying that.”

Harry’s lip twitched up in a little smirk, “See? There she is.” He took a step closer to her and Eden wanted to sink down her knees when Harry had to hardly use three words to get her wet and worked-up for him. She didn’t even know what it was, just his… demeanor. The way he carried himself. He was an asshole but she couldn’t help being so turned on by him.

Harry’s fingertip brushed her brow bone and Eden held her breath as Harry cooed her, “Feisty girl, hm? You’re a brat, Eden. You wanna be put in place, you need it. You crave it.”

Eden pressed her lips together as Harry stepped even closer to her, dick coming to life in his pants when he could see every detail on her face. The darkness in her eyes, the freckles on her nose, the piercing scar at the top of her ear, the drop of sweat running down her chest. God, he wanted to lick it up. He swallowed thickly, “He’s too sweet, Eden. You don’t want sweet. You want a challenge. You like the chase, you like the fight. Must be boring, hm? To be with someone who gives in so easily? I bet he kisses the ground you walk on.”

Eden’s shoulders tensed as Harry’s fingers trailed down the side of her neck and followed the shape of her sport’s bra down the swells of her breasts. Goosebumps rose over her skin as he near tickled her, and Eden didn’t move even an inch.

Harry fought his smirk at the reaction her body gave him. She was almost trembling. 

“And I did too. I just made you work for it.” He mumbled.

“I followed you around like a puppy.” Eden exhaled, swallowing and Harry hummed, “And now he follows you around like a puppy. How’s it feel, having a pussy sub for a boyfriend?” And Harry knew he took it too far. Eden frowned and took a step back, his touch disappearing, “H-He’s not -”

“He’s not?” Harry raised his brows, “I heard you yesterday, Eden. Don’t lie to me. I could tell you were having a good time but…” He stepped closer again, “I didn’t hear you whining, or sobbing. I didn’t hear spanking or spitting or slapping.” He listed. Eden lowered her eyes but Harry grabbed her chin, forcing her to stare up at him. She held her breath, feeling so dizzy with him this close, “He’s a fucking boy, Eden.” Harry whispered, “Thought you said you needed a real man?”

Eden’s brain turned foggy. She wanted to kiss him so bad. And drag him in the bushes and ride him until she passed out. The sexual tension between them was unmatched. It had been from the get-go. From the first time they spoke to each other with the barrier of the garden fence between them.

Harry’s voice dropped to a whisper, “I think he’s merely dipping his toe in the garden of Eden, isn’t he?” His tone was velvety smooth and Eden fought for a breath. She nearly leaned in and Harry noticed, letting go of her chin yet gently wrapping his hand around her throat, “Place of pleasure and delight.” He crooned, “And fuck, it is. And I wanna drown in it.”

Use me, Eden wanted to scream. Her body was frozen and Harry wouldn’t act on it without her consent, so with a small bump of his nose against her and a very uncomfortable stiffy in his running shorts, he increased the distance between them again.

Eden was grateful for the hand around her throat, Harry almost holding her up or she’d be a puddle on the floor.

“Come by tonight.” Harry gave her throat a gentle squeeze, making Eden softly gasp as her eyes fluttered. Her pussy clenched around nothing and she dryly swallowed, straightening up a bit. Harry let go of her throat and Eden took a breath, “I-I have a boyfriend.” She repeated.

Harry smirked, “Didn’t I tell you to bring him?”

***

“A threesome?” Jason frowned at Eden.

Eden stood in front of the couch with her hands on her hips. She had a towel around her form, having just gotten out of the shower after her run. She found Jason downstairs, scrolling on his phone as the coffee ran in the kitchen.

She exhaled and adjusted the towel around her chest, “It’s…” She sat down next to him, scooting close, “You don’t have to agree. You can say no.”

Jason didn’t respond right away, the frown staying on his forehead and Eden nibbled her lip, hair dripping down her shoulders, “He suggested it and told me to ask you. So… here I am. But I promise, if you’re not into it, you can say no. I won’t mind.”

Jason warily glanced at her, “And you won’t go fuck him behind my back?” He softly asked. Eden pressed her lips together and shook her head, “No. Promise.”

He dropped his head back into the couch, “I mean, I’ve done it before.” He mumbled and Eden scooted closer still, “So have I.”

“I just… I don’t know him? And he’s your ex.”

“Not my ex.” She slightly corrected him, finding it an important nuance that her and Harry were never boyfriend and girlfriend. Jason swallowed as he looked at Eden, “You know I’m not the jealous type, Eden. I-I’m not sure what the meaning is behind this.”

“I’m not trying to make you jealous.” She frowned, placing her hand on his thigh soothingly. Was that his worry? That he wouldn’t freak out when Harry was inside of her? Eden didn’t expect him to. She nibbled her lip again, “There’s not really a meaning behind this. Sex with Harry was really good and it’d just be that for the three of us - sex.”

Jason seemed lost in thought, “I mean, I’m open to it. I’ve never done it with one of the people involved being my partner.” He admitted, “It’s always been friends or strangers, makes it less… complicated.”

“I get that.” Eden nodded.

“I mean, you’re my girlfriend and he’s a guy I’ve spoken to only once. Not to mention he’s ten years older.”

Eden swallowed, “He’s not like… a predator or anything.”

“No, I know.” Jason mumbled before he locked eyes with Eden again, “So he basically wants to sleep with you, but since you’re taken… I’m the bonus?” He had a slightly joking hint to his tone and Eden’s lips curled up into a smile as she chuckled, “Basically, yeah.”

Jason shakily exhaled, shaking his head softly, “Don’t know how you all put us under your spell, E. Seriously.”

Eden’s chest fluttered when she felt Jason giving in. He flicked his eyes up to her again, “I’m not just an extra bonus for you, am I? I won’t just be there for shits and giggles?”

“No.” Eden immediately shook her head, “I promise.” She scooted even closer, “I like you so much, Jason. You’re so sweet.” Her hand cupped his jaw, much like Harry had done to her during their jog. Eden had no idea that going for a run in the morning would turn to this. An altercation with Harry, him basically making her cum with just a brush of his fingers over her skin, and her asking Jason if he’s down for a threesome.

“You’d both be there for me.” She whispered softly. Jason’s lip twitched up in a small grin, “Yeah?”

“Mhm.”

Jason turned to face Eden, “So, what’s he like?” He curiously asked, “Like… I’m more of a sub, I think. Like you said, I’m sweet. A-And I think you know that I’m sweet in every sense of the word.” He murmured.

Eden shot him a small smile, “I’m sure Harry can dominate enough for the three of us.”

Jason shot her a faint smile and then nodded, “Okay. If you’re comfortable with the two of us, I am too.”

“Don’t just do it for me.” Eden exhaled and Jason chuckled, “I’m not. You know I’m open to that. We’re a couple, but we’re open with each other. I’m cool with it.”

Eden bit her lip and bashfully smiled, her skin heating at the thought. Harry, Jason and her. She hated how her thoughts immediately drifted to Harry. God, he could get her off with the flick of his thumb over her clit. She was reminded of that one time he did nothing but rub circles on her clit while whispering dirty Italian talk in her ear. She came so hard she almost passed out.

A shudder wrecked her body and Jason cocked up a brow, huffing out a chuckle, “I take it you’re cool with it too.”

“Yeah.” Eden giggled, leaning in to press a chaste kiss to his lips, “And about not really knowing him… Harry invited us to spend the day around his pool.” She softly shrugged.

Jason raised his brows, “Really? That’s nice.”

“Hm.” Eden nodded, “So… I’d say we have breakfast and get ready, and then we can head over.” She shrugged softly. Jason smiled and nodded, squeezing her thigh, “Sounds good.”

Harry was in the house next door, pacing around his kitchen. The heads of Sadie and Lola followed his every move as he had his hands in his hair, wondering what the fuck he had just done. He wanted Eden so bad. So fucking pathetically bad that he’d willingly bring her boyfriend in the mix.

Harry was no stranger to a threesome or an adventurous night with a man. He had done it before, he was quite fluid in that department, but he had never done that with someone he had feelings for.

He just knew it’d be worth it, but he was being blinded by lust. And that lust was just the top layer, while there was so much more underneath that. An array of feelings for Eden. So strong and romantic his heart pulsed in his chest at the thought of her smile. 

Harry didn’t know what kind of guy Jason was. He was good-looking, obviously. And Eden said he was sweet. Too sweet for her, Harry thought. But that wasn’t his problem. Eden would very soon figure out that Jason was not what she wanted at all. But Harry just needed a chance to show her. If his feelings about Jason were correct, he’d agree to a threesome just to make Eden happy.

He followed her around, just like Eden followed Harry around. It pained him when she said that, because even though that was their dynamic at first, Harry could argue that Eden had way more power over him than the other way around. And he didn’t necessarily want this power either. Maybe in their sex life, it was a fun dynamic, but in real life, he wanted to be equals. Partners.

“Jesus.” Harry mumbled to himself when he realized how fucking whipped he sounded. But he was past that point. He was past fooling his brain that he was doing himself a favor by ghosting her. He craved her like a flower craving a drop of rain. And she was so close.

He wasn’t entirely surprised when the door rang about an hour later. Harry had been lounging around in swimming shorts and a linen shirt, bucket hat on his head to protect himself from the sun as the dogs were outside in the shade.

Opening the front door, he was met with Eden in a white, flowy dress and Jason standing behind her and sending him a slightly nervous smile.

“Hi.” Eden breathed, glancing at Jason over her shoulder, “We - uh… we’re here.”

“I can see that.” Harry chuckled, even if his heart beat overtime. He opened up the door wider, “Come on in.”

Eden strutted past him as Jason made a small stop, shaking Harry’s hand in a greeting, “Hey, man.”

“Hey, make yourself at home.” Harry nodded. Eden was right. Jason was kind. He could see it throughout the afternoon. Jason doted over Eden like no one else. They constantly laid whispering and giggling together while Harry observed. Whenever Eden took a dip in the pool, Jason came with her. He carried her around the water as she had her thighs locked around his hips and they exchanged kisses.

And Harry couldn’t remember why he thought this was a good idea. A raging pit of jealousy had nestled itself in his tummy as he watched the pair. His Eden. It had been another thing to hear her getting fucked, but it was another level of painful to see her be so romantic with someone that wasn’t him.

Eden insisted on making them a little lunch. Harry wasn’t worried when Eden claimed to know where everything in the kitchen was. Him and Jason stayed outside on the sunbeds as the crickets filled the silence and the sun was high up in the air.

“So…” Jason broke the silence and Harry softly opened his eyes that had dropped close, almost dozing off into a nap. He turned his head to see Jason, a small smirk on his lips, “So.” Harry mimicked.

Jason chuckled, “You and me and Eden, huh?”

“It appears so.” Harry nodded with a smirk. Jason exhaled a breath, “Are you comfortable with that?”

“I am.” Harry spoke without missing a beat, “Are you?”

“Yep.”

Harry pressed his lips together, just a small part of him wishing Jason would back out. “I mean, I think we’d both be there for Eden.”

“Yeah, I think so too.” Jason agreed, “I’m not sure if we’re… you know.”

“Well, I for sure wouldn’t mind.” Harry wasn’t lying and Jason smirked back, “Neither would I.”

But then, Eden reappeared from inside. She wore a dark green two-piece and immediately, both men stared at her, no longer having any interest in one another. Eden felt stupidly gorgeous as they both gawked at her. She made it into a little show, putting the plates down while pressing her tits together and arching her back.

“No drooling.” She teased cheekily. Jason chuckled and Harry licked his lip, “You look delicious.”

“What?”

“The food.” He corrected himself with a smirk, “The food looks delicious. Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.” Eden winked and Harry’s stomach did a flip. He despised himself.

The three of them ate and Eden then took another dip in the pool. When Harry glanced at Jason to see that he was not following her in, the two of them locked eyes. Jason gave him the smallest of nods and Harry swallowed, shrugging off his linen shirt before following Eden into the pool after silently receiving Jason’s permission.

Eden resurfaced after diving in, seeing Harry make his way down the steps. The breath got knocked out of her lungs at the sight of his chiseled, tattooed body. He was so gorgeous she felt her pussy clenching around nothing. Every inch of his body brought back memories.

His mouth, his fingers, his thighs. The fucking tiger tattoo. The butterfly that was covered in her arousal more times than she could count. His neck that used to be littered in hickeys. His hair that she loved to pull when he had his tongue between her thighs. 

Eden exhaled a shaky breath as Harry took a small dive and resurfaced, pushing his wet hair away from his forehead. His smirk made her want to moan and Eden stayed still in the shallow end, the water reaching below her breasts as Harry swam over to her.

“Think you need another layer of sunscreen.” He rasped, eyes drawn to her chest, “You’re looking a little burned.”

“Oh.” Eden glanced down too before nodding, “Yeah, maybe.”

Harry and her stared at one another for a bit, both aware of Jason’s eyes on them. Eden took a breath, “Thank you for letting us stay over today.”

“That’s fine. I love having you in my house.” Harry shrugged.

Eden nibbled her lip, “Harry… what today is, and what tonight will be… it doesn’t change anything, okay? It’s just sex.”

“Yeah.” He lied, “Just sex.”

Eden narrowed her eyes, “I mean it.”

Harry huffed out a chuckle, “Me too.” He swam closer to her, both in the shallow end of the pool now. His hands easily found her underneath the surface of the water and Eden choked on a breath when his hands were around her midsection to easily tug her into his body. 

She trembled, goosebumps rising over her skin. She hadn’t been touched by him in so long. Large hands easily knew their way around her form as Harry spun her around, her back pressed to his chest. Her hands found the edge of the pool as she stared into Jason’s eyes, Harry standing behind her.

His nose ran along her shoulder, “So tonight…” He murmured.

“Mhm.” Eden swallowed, “Tonight.”

She shuddered when Harry pressed a kiss so light to her shoulder she could’ve imagined it. Jason watched along as Harry pressed Eden a bit further into the side of the pool, dick hardening in his swimming shorts and pressing against her ass.

“How do you still like it?” Harry whispered.

Eden leaned back into him as she panted out, “L-Like I used to.”

“Yeah?” His voice dripped honey. His hands circled around her tummy and Eden arched as Harry kissed the side of her neck, “You still like it when I’m so deep inside you it almost hurts?”

“Shit.” Eden whimpered, leaning back further into him, head dropping down onto his shoulder. She kept her eyes locked with Jason’s, who watched the interaction. Harry glanced at him too, “Is he as big as me?”

“No.” She breathed. Harry hummed, “Shame. Does he get to fuck your ass?”

Eden swallowed, “Uh-huh.”

“Does he slap you? Bite you? Spank you? Choke you?” Harry’s one hand moved up to her throat and Eden’s eyes rolled back. His hips pushed against her ass, grinding his erection against her. This was a fucking dream, Harry thought. This couldn’t be real. 

Eden fought for a breath, “W-When I ask him to.”

“Shame again.” Harry whispered, “No need to worry, baby. I know just how you like it. Does he make you squirt?”

No. Eden wanted to say but she nibbled her lip, “Sometimes.”

“Ragazza dolce.” Harry murmured. It sounded sweet, but it had a condescending tone. He smirked against her skin, “Lying for him… you must really like him, hm?”

Eden sighed out, turning her head slightly. Harry pressed a kiss to her temple, “Missed you so fucking much. No one feels like you do.”

Her knuckles turned white as they gripped the edge of the pool, water sploshing around them. Harry’s lips feathered down the column of her throat and over her sunkissed shoulder, “Can’t want to be inside you tonight. Feel you cream and squirt all over me, fucking hell.” He rutted his hips forward tonight.

“Where do you want me tonight, hm?” Harry rasped, his hand released her throat as it slipped down her abdomen. Eden’s eyes shot open, her tummy clenching as his fingers found the waistband of her bikini bottoms underneath the water. Harry’s breathing puffed against her skin as he wanted to cup her cunt underneath the water, but Eden’s hand tightly clasped around his wrist before he could touch her.

She panted out and Harry chuckled into her skin, kissing below her ear, “What’s the matter? Don’t tell me he turned you into a good girl, hm?”

Eden couldn’t think straight as Harry peppered kisses on her skin, going back to holding onto her waist as he grinded into her ass, “Remember when I ate you out on the edge of the pool?” He mused.

Eden’s eyes fluttered as she felt his hard length pressing into her and Harry bit the lobe of her ear, “Eden.” He reprimanded, “Do you remember?”

“Yes.” She swallowed, “Yes, I remember.”

“Good. You were always such a sweet little slut for me. Letting me use you however I wanted. Just needed me to take care of you, hm?”

“Oh my god.” She whimpered. Harry wanted to pump his fists in the air. He had her in the palm of his hand. He cooed her condescendingly, “So easy to ruin you. So easy to use you. Just have to whisper in your ear and you’re almost begging to choke on my cock.”

One of Eden’s hands flew behind her, gripping onto the back of Harry’s neck. He groaned softly, flicking his eyes up to lock eyes with Jason, who was still looking. Eden rolled her ass back against Harry as she panted out, dry humping him.

Harry smirked, letting go of inhibitions as he slipped his fingers underneath the triangles covering Eden’s tits, cupping her chest and giving a squeeze. The perfect handful for him. Eden gasped and arched more, providing him pressure and Harry licked the hinge of her jaw. Every dirty memory entered his brain. He remembered it all, every second he spent with her. 

“Gonna fuck you so good tonight.” He promised, “Make you feel what you’ve been missing, hm? Such a whore for my cock.” 

“Harry…” Eden whimpered and Harry grunted, “Fuck.”

The shadow of Jason looming over them made Harry and Eden both open their eyes. Jason stared down at her, panting and gasping as Harry grinded into her ass from behind, her head lulled back, her eyes hazy, her mouth open. His lip twitched up in a smirk, matching Harry’s. Harry latched his lips onto Eden’s neck, tugging her back into the pool to allow Jason room to join them.

He was hard in his shorts, Harry could tell. Eden’s breaths shortened when she locked eyes with Jason, who pressed himself against her front. She was smushed between both men and Jason wasted no time in cupping her ass, tugging her hips into him as he kissed her. Harry kept up the grinding against her backside, watching as Eden’s tongue slipped out to lick into Jason’s mouth.

His jealousy raged throughout his entire body and Harry grabbed her throat again, harder this time until Eden choked on a breath. She broke the kiss with a moan, tugging Harry’s hair as he had one hand around her throat and the other on her breast. 

“Please.” Eden panted, “P-Please.” 

Jason chuckled, shortly locking eyes with Harry. Harry played with her nipple, squeezing her throat as Jason slipped his fingers into the front of her bikini bottoms. Eden squeaked when he touched her. Jason dipped his head, surprising Harry with a sudden kiss. Harry choked Eden harder, eyes fluttering as Jason kissed him while fingering Eden. Eden’s eyes watered when Jason tapped into her g-spot, finding her so slick after Harry worked her up all the way.

It only took about a minute for her to reach her peak, spasming in Harry’s arms. The kiss between Harry and Jason broke as Harry rutted his hips into Eden’s ass, feeling as she arched and shivered in the aftermath of her orgasm.

He wanted to laugh when Jason gently shushed her, slipping his fingers from her pussy. Harry wondered how many fingers he used, if he pushed Eden to the brink. If it were him, he would’ve edged her a few times and overstimulated her until she was crying. Eden blinked a few times as the waves of pleasure subsided.

Jason looked rather pleased with himself, Eden’s legs locked around his waist. His fingers gently pulled her bikini top back in place, one of Harry’s hands still cupping one of her breasts as he kept her pulled back by her throat.

Harry moaned, forcing Eden’s head to turn as he pressed his lips on hers.

Eden froze, immediately pulling back in shock. Harry chased her, pressing another small kiss to her plump bottom lip but Eden gasped and violently moved out of his grip. Jason seemed surprised at her rejection and Harry frowned, “W-” His hands slipped from Eden as she seemingly panicked, staring at him with wide eyes and a heaving chest. 

Jason flicked his eyes between the two in confusion and Harry stared at Eden, who stared at him in shock.

“Eden?” Harry checked and she straightened up, fixing her bikini as she shook her head, “I-I can’t do this.” She hurried out of the pool, leaving puddles of water behind her as she disappeared inside of the house, leaving both men in the pool.

***

Eden was pacing around Harry’s bedroom. She had no idea why this is the place she chose to have her panic attack, but somehow it comforted her. She saw the bed she spent most of the past summer in, curled around his body.

Her lips still tingled. Not from her orgasm, but from that fucking kiss. She hadn’t expected him to kiss her. Somehow it felt far more intimate than him grinding his dick against her skin or him touching her tits. It felt… delicate. Vulnerable. And it brought back feelings that Eden had tried to get over.

The warm air inside the house had caused her bikini to dry and Eden yanked one of Harry’s shirts out of his closet to put it on and cover herself up a bit. She had a lump in her throat. Eden softly dropped down on the duvet of Harry’s bed, rolling around on her side until her fingers felt the sheets. She was catapulted back to waking up in here with him snoring into her neck. It had all felt so domestic.

She sniffled once until she heard footsteps, and Eden straightened up. She had expected it to be Jason, but Harry appeared in the doorway. He also covered up with a shirt and his hair was drying curly after being in the pool.

He had a frown on his forehead, “Are you okay? Did I hurt you? Or did he?” He asked in a slight panic.

Eden wiped underneath her eyes and Harry’s heart cracked, taking in her broken state. Eden rolled her lips inside her mouth, almost to keep herself from breaking down further, “I’m okay.” She rasped.

“You don’t look okay.”

She almost huffed, sniffling, “I-I just don’t wanna go through with it anymore. I wanna go home.”

Harry nibbled his lip, leaning against the doorpost, “Are… Are you sure?” He checked.

Eden got up her feet, “Yeah.” She breathed, “Sorry, you don’t get to fuck me today.” Her voice took a bitter turn as she was ready to strut past him, but Harry grabbed her arm with a frown on his face, “You think that’s what this was about?”

“What else was it about?” Eden shrugged, her voice sounding scratchy. She shrugged her arm out of his grip, “You’re horny, said you’ve been missing me and the way we used to be. And what we used to be, were two people fucking around the clock. You’re not that hard to figure out, Harry. You just wanted to get in my pants.”

“I did miss you.” He exhaled, “For far more than sex. You have to know that.”

“How could I know that?!” Eden couldn’t stop herself as she angrily shoved against his shoulders. Even though Harry hardly budged, his brows raised in surprise when tears streamed down Eden’s cheeks, “You kissed me! You fucking kissed me.”

He opened his mouth to speak but she shook her head, bottom lip wobbling, “You broke my heart.” Her voice cracked and Harry’s stomach dropped. Eden shuddered a bit, shoulders dropping as she stood wobbly in his familiar bedroom, “You ghosted me.” She muttered, “Do you have any idea how painful that was? A-And now you just… you wanna pretend nothing ever happened?”

“You agreed.” Harry’s tone was soft and Eden huffed, “Yes, because I thought I was over you.”

Harry licked his lip, “Are you not?” He took a step closer to Eden and she took one back as she sniffled, “Well, I’m crying in your bedroom, wearing your shirt after you kissed me. So no, I’m not. Which is very fucking painful considering you’ve been over me this entire time.”

“I’m not over you.” Harry frowned, “Not by a fucking long shot. I-I’ve been thinking of you all year. I didn’t expect you to show up with a boyfriend. That broke my heart.”

“You broke me first.” She bitterly spoke, “I don’t believe a word you say. You didn’t make any effort into making the long distance thing work.”

Harry ran a hand through his hair, “I thought I was doing you a favor.”

Eden stared at him and Harry casted his eyes down, “Honestly.” He murmured, “I-I didn’t want you to be hung up on me. I felt like we had no future, that we had nothing in common. You wouldn’t move here, I wouldn’t move there… I’m so much older than you. It was a summer thing a-and I felt like I had to let you go.”

He perhaps thought his words would soften Eden up, but if anything her face just darkened. He hadn’t expected the second shove against his chest, stumbling back one step this time.

“You coward.” Eden scoffed as more tears leaked from her eyes. Harry pressed his lips together and Eden shook her head in disbelief, “Y-You don’t get to just decide that for me. I don’t need you to do me any fucking favors. And besides, ghosting me was best for me?! Didn’t even have the fucking decency to have a conversation. I’m a human with feelings and I deserved more. Just because you’re a fucking child doesn’t mean you can treat me like I am too.”

“Hey.” Harry frowned and Eden raised her brows, “What? Anything to say? Seriously, that’s the most pathetic excuse I’ve ever heard. Doing me a favor? You hurt me! I asked you time and time again to visit me in London, you always declined. And not once did you ask me to visit you here.”

Harry frowned deeper, “I-I’m - I mean, you could’ve just come over!”

“And show up unannounced?” Eden challenged. She pointed her finger at him sharply, “You single-handedly decided to end something that involved the two of us. I had no say.”

Harry stared at the floor again, her words of pain seeping into his bones. And he knew she was right. He closed his eyes for a brief second, “You’re right. And I’m sorry. I-I went about it the wrong way, but please know that I cared about you so much. I had just as many feelings as you did. We fooled ourselves into thinking it was a summer-thing.”

Eden crossed her arms in front of her chest as she lowered her gaze. It was silent between them. The amount of information Eden just received, confused her greatly. For all these months, she’d had no answers. And now she did, and it somehow didn’t feel half as satisfying as she hoped it would.

“Why did you suggest this threesome?” Eden softly asked.

Harry moved around, sitting down on the edge of the bed eventually. His fingers fiddled together, “Because I wanted to be close to you. I know you’re devoted to him. And you’re right, he is nice. I still don’t think he’s what you need, but he’s nice, like he’s a good guy.” Harry sincerely spoke, “I just missed you so much, and I craved you. Physically, yes, but also more than that. Just… spending time with you. Making you smile.” He stupidly shrugged before sighing out again, “I felt like it was the only way. I told myself it’d hurt me less to see you with him, than to not see you at all.”

Eden stared at him in disbelief and Harry licked his top lip, “Which wasn’t true. I’m so fucking jealous and he’s so lucky, Eden. And I promise I’ll leave you alone from now on if he makes you happy. I let you go.”

“You did.”

Harry swallowed, “I know.”

Eden weighed her words before flicking her eyes up, “I expected more from you.” She softly spoke, the lump in her throat very present. Harry’s shoulders dropped a tad at her words and Eden wiped underneath her eye again, “Doing anything long-distance requires work and effort, Harry. Just because we didn’t see each other every single day and we had responsibilities, didn’t mean I didn’t still have feelings for you. It… It felt like a break-up.”

Harry felt the pressure behind his eyes and dared flicking his eyes up to Eden, forcing his lips to stop wobbling, “I was in love with you.”

“Stop.” She whispered and he shook his head, chuckling bitterly, “No, really. Like I tried to stop it. But I felt so empty when you left, like nothing made sense anymore. I looked for you in everyone, told myself it’d get better. But it didn’t. I’ve been fucking miserable.” He reached for his phone, “Here.” He turned his screen, “See how whipped you’ve gotten me?”

Eden frowned as she took his phone, seeing the open tab on his internet-app which showed apartments in London. Her throat ran dry, “What is this?”

“Was looking to buy a place in London.” He mumbled, “So I could be close to you.”

“Are you serious?”

“Yep.” Harry popped the ‘p’. “It’s quite pathetic.”

Eden stared at him, “I-I don’t know what to say.” She rasped.

Harry was even too embarrassed to look at her. They stood in silence for a bit until Eden turned around and walked off. Harry’s shoulders lowered as he let out a shaky breath, “Shit.” He cursed in defeat, dropping back down on his bed.

By the time he found the courage to get up, he glanced out his window to see Eden’s house quiet and unlit. He felt a punch to his stomach when he noticed the car being gone.

It was dark by the time he was alerted by headlights and the sound of tires on the gravel road. Sadie and Lola lifted their heads too, tails wagging as Harry peeled himself off of the leather couch. He had been sitting in silence this time, brooding. Heartbroken. It felt truly done with Eden now and it was like his heartbreak came around in full force at the realization. He had cried, he had showered, he had cleaned up outside after having Jason and Eden over.

He didn’t know when Jason left. All he knew was when Eden left them both in the pool, both of them decided to give her some time first. They had sat outside in silence until Harry announced that he was going to look for her. Jason didn’t stop him.

Harry was on his way to look out the window and see if maybe Eden and Jason had returned, but stopped when the bell rang.

He hurried to the front door, breathless once he opened it up. Eden stood in front of him, almost as nervous as she had been over a week prior when he saw her again after all this time.

“Hey.” Harry rasped.

Eden exhaled a shaky breath, “I - uh… I drove Jason to the airport. We broke up.”

Harry’s brows raised, “Oh?”

“Yeah.” Eden nibbled her lip, hesitation flashing over her features, “Can I… I mean, have you had dinner? I-I’m starving and I was wondering if… if maybe you wanted to eat together.”

Harry could hardly believe what he was hearing. He cleared his throat, legs wobbling a bit, “Y-Yeah, sure. Uh - here? I have stuff in the fridge. We can whip something up.”

Eden carefully entered the house, not as confidently as she did at other times. Harry watched her like a hawk and when Eden had greeted the dogs and they were in the kitchen together, he could no longer keep it in, “What happened?”

Eden didn’t seem very surprised at his question, “We… We talked. I came home, he was already there. I told him what happened, what we talked about.” She popped herself up on the counter as she took a breath, and Harry leaned against the fridge opposite her.

“He said he figured it out.” She shrugged, “That there was still something going on between us. He… He wished me well, we hugged goodbye.” It hurt her to say it. Jason was just so nice. And she treated him so poorly. Even Harry felt for him, but he hadn’t really expected any less. Jason basically worshiped Eden. He just wanted her to be happy, much like Harry.

“I had to tell him, it just wasn’t fair. Wasn’t fair to be with him when I’m not over you.” She murmured. 

Harry’s chest warmed but he hardly dared to be hopeful. He swallowed, “I’m not over you either.”

Eden watched the swing in her legs, her thoughts clouded. She glanced up at him, “Do you mean that?” 

Harry nodded before her question was even out, “Yes, completely. And I know I was an asshole about it, there’s no excuse. But I wanna be better.” He licked his lip, “Seeing you again… it brought everything back. And I don’t wanna let you go a second time.”

Eden’s stomach clenched, “Y-You don’t?”

“I don’t.” He repeated, flicking up his gaze, “And if you still want me… I wanna prove it to you.”

Eden felt only a bit stupid. Was she falling for his games again? Was this entire thing doomed? Was it all just words with no action?

Harry could see the wheels in her head spinning and approached her, placing his hands on the countertop next to her thighs, “Eden,” He breathed, “I’m serious. Honestly. You’re like…” He swallowed thickly, “my favorite person. I missed you so fucking much.”

Her skin grew hot as Eden blinked at him, in disbelief of his words. He was so close. Harry’s eyes widened in surprise when Eden gently leaned in, their lips just brushing together. Her eyes fluttered shut at the gentle touch, thighs tensing as the air between them grew hot and thick.

Harry relaxed, leaning into Eden further as the kiss deepened. Her fingers found the sides of his button-up, tugging him into her further as she tilted her head to the side to allow him more access. Harry groaned from the back of his throat, cupping Eden’s cheeks. Her knees parted for him and a shudder ran down Harry’s spine when her tongue softly flicked against his bottom lip.

“Shit.” He moaned, stroking his thumbs over her cheekbones, “Yeah?” He nodded the question, flicking his eyes between both of hers, as if asking for confirmation that they were really doing this. That they were really giving it a shot, seriously this time.

Eden bit her lip and nodded, “Yes.” 

Harry crashed their lips together, all inhibitions gone. Sadie and Lola curiously watched them from the couch as they made out. It was all tongues and whimpers and teeth as Eden pulled him so close it almost hurt. Harry easily picked her up, and it was like a déjà-vu when he blindly carried Eden up the stairs. They had done this so many times. 

Her kisses grew hungrier, hands tangled in his brown locks as Harry kicked the bedroom door shut and they both dropped on the bed. Eden hastily ripped Harry’s shirt off of his shoulders, tanned skin bulged around his muscles as he held himself up and Eden stroked her fingers over his biceps, taking him in.

Emotion flashed through Harry’s eyes as he laid between Eden’s parted thighs and they resumed their heavy kissing. He licked into her mouth, the plush of her lips brushing against his as he claimed her again. Eden kicked off her shoes and raked her blunt nails down his back, making him arch into her. 

Eden locked her leg around his hip, flipping them over and Harry gladly let her. His back met the sheets as she scooted up on his lap, sitting on top of him. She yanked off the top she was wearing, revealing the dark green bikini underneath.

Harry’s eyes dropped to her chest, his fingers playing over her ribs and up to the triangles covering her up. He brushed his thumbs over where he knew her nipples were and reached his hand around her back, tugging on the knot to get the bikini off. 

Harry could hardly contain himself when Eden sat topless on top of him, gently rocking her hips into his hard cock while catching her breath. She leaned down to kiss his muscular chest, her hands exploring him as she scooted herself down.

Harry’s eyes fluttered as he stared up at the ceiling, preparing himself to feel her lips and attempt to not cum down her throat. Eden gave the best blowjobs he had ever received. She was so filthy with it, not a care in the world as spit dribbled down her chin and she always allowed him to fuck her throat.

She could take him so deep he’d feel her nose against his tummy and she allowed him to cut off her airway until she was on the brink of passing out. Eden loved the pain. Her mouth watered when she sunk down the edge of the bed, Harry’s legs dangling over it. Eden hastily tucked a strand of hair behind her ear before tugging down Harry’s shorts. He panted out, “A-Are you sure?” Please say yes.

“Yes.” Eden confirmed, “Wanna taste you.”

Harry lazily smirked, humming as Eden’s hands closed around his throbbing cock. She used both to stroke him, and he didn’t have to look at her to know she had a sick grin on her face at the precum blurting at his tip. He was hard as a rock, pulsing against her palm. Eden took her time in studying him, realizing he was just as she remembered. Just as big, thick and veiny as she remembered.

“I missed your dick so much.” She admitted, “So, so much.”

“Take it.” Harry rasped, and Eden did. Her lips folded around his tip to give a hard suck that nearly had him coming right there. “Fuck.” He gasped, nails digging into the sheets as Eden hummed at his taste.

She was impatient, sinking her mouth down on him and enveloping him while her tongue flicked in every direction. She held him in her throat, willing away her gags as her hand pumped the part she couldn’t fit just yet. She hummed, clenching her thighs together. Eden loved giving head. Especially to Harry.

“Fuck, così buono, così buono.” Harry breathlessly moaned, “Dio mio.”

Eden moaned around him at his Italian cursing and her hand played with his balls as she bobbed up and down. Harry saw stars behind his closed eyelids, jaw dropping with strangled groans. He hadn’t been stimulated like this in so fucking long. No one was her.

His eyes rolled back when Eden suckled his tip again, and Harry’s hips bucked up as his toes curled. She knew just how to work him. “S-Shit - Eden…” He lowly groaned. Eden took a hold of his ankles, urging Harry to put his feet up on the bed as she stayed kneeled.

His heart violently hammered at what he thought she was about to do. And when Eden popped off and angled his cock up, Harry felt like he was in fucking heaven, “Baby,” He whimpered, “oh my god - please… p-please.” He begged pathetically and Eden hummed, “It’s okay.” Her voice sounded hoarse from the blowjob and she kissed the back of his thigh before working her tongue between his cheeks.

Harry threw his head back as he gripped his solid cock, stroking himself. Eden used her free hands to spread him and give herself more space to eat him out. Her tongue lapped over his rim, relaxing him. 

“Y-You’re perfect.” Harry squeaked, pinching his eyes shut at the heavenly stimulation. Only Eden did this for him. 

When Eden felt like Harry was close to his edge, she retrieved her touches, licking around her mouth for the excess saliva as he caught his breath. Eden wobbled on her legs when she hastily pulled down the skirt she wore, bikini bottoms webbing to her pussy due to her wetness. 

She was fully naked, jumping back on the bed with Harry who immediately rolled them on their sides. It was all quick and hasty as their tongues tangled and he grabbed her thigh, rolling on top of her with her legs locked around his hips. 

“Can I?” He panted breahtlessly, “Please? Fuck - baby, I need to be inside you.”

“Uh-huh.” Eden moaned, “I’m s-so ready.”

“Haven’t prepped you.” Harry kissed her jaw and Eden felt nearly delirious with need, “No need.” She breathed, “J-Just fuck me.”

Harry didn’t let her off that easy though. He hummed softly into her neck, planting gentle kisses over her skin as his hand moved between her legs. A low moan bubbled up his throat when he felt how wet she was. The mound of her pussy, the apex of her thighs, covered in her slick arousal. Her clit pulsed and Eden tried to keep the tears away, feeling so overwhelmed and sensitive.

Harry raised his head and let one of his hands slip behind her neck to hold her up a bit, “Want you to look at me,” He breathed, “when I slip inside you.”

Eden managed to nod, holding her breath. Harry pumped himself once, “Condom?” He briefly asked. He knew him and Eden never used one in the past. Eden was infertile and they only slept with one another.

She swallowed at his question, “Y-You can choose.” She rasped, “I always used one with him. We never did it bare. I’m clean.” Her words surprised him. She never did it bare with Jason? Eden had no chance of a pregnancy, so Harry wondered if she never really had that connection to Jason as she did with him.

But her letting him choose was also sort of the ultimate challenge for Harry. It was almost asking him if he was really serious about this, if they were really gonna go there. Harry quickly kissed her, “Okay. No condom.”

Eden smiled lightly, “No condom.” She whispered. The smile was quickly wiped off her face when Harry dragged the tip of his cock through her sodden folds.

Eden’s lips parted desperately as she exhaled in a shaky breath, “Yes,” She squeaked, “oh god - please.”

“Yeah?�� Harry cooed, “Y’need me? Open your legs.”

Eden tried to split her thighs wider and Harry shot her a stern look, “Wider.”

She whined softly, allowing him more space. It was hard to think when Harry’s cockhead continued to brush into her pearled clit. Eden felt like she was about to fucking explode.

“That’s it.” Harry praised, “That’s so good. There we go. My little slut with her legs wide open for me, hm? La mia sporca puttana.”

Eden sputtered out a high-pitched moan when Harry’s tip popped between her walls. She was so hot and creamy, welcoming him greedily as he inched forward to fill her pussy. Eden clenched her jaw in pure satisfaction, eyes rolling back and a moan stuck in her throat.

Harry couldn’t help but smirk at her ruined state, but his breathing turned shorter too the closer he got to filling her to the hilt. He grunted when his thighs touched hers, nestled so fucking deep inside her as her walls clamped around him.

Eden forgot what it felt like to feel so… full. In the best way. So full and fulfilled. Her hands locked around his shoulders in a death-grip as she puffed out sharp breaths, blinking a few times to remind herself where she was.

Harry reared back halfway before sinking back in and Eden gasped, “Oh - Harry.”

“Fuck, I know.” His voice sounded shaky, breathing against Eden’s lips, “I know, baby… Feels so good. So good.”

“Uh-huh.” Eden whimpered, “M-Missed you like this.”

He pressed a kiss to her chin, “Me too, baby. Me too. I missed you so much.” He sharply thrusted, tip of his dick stroking right against Eden’s g-spot. She gasped shakily at the feeling, a tear leaking down her temple, “Shit - you’re gonna make me cum so fast.”

Harry smirked, “Yeah?” He thrusted again, gently squeezing the nape of her neck, “Are you gonna get wet all over me?”

Eden desperately clawed at his shoulders, “Y-Yes.” She whispered, “Oh my god, fuck.” 

Harry dropped his head in the crook of her neck, speeding up a bit. With Eden’s thighs around his hips, he took her in deep missionary. The bed rocked, their moans filling the room as Eden’s orgasm surprised her completely. She cried out, spasming underneath Harry’s body but he didn’t let up, sharply slapping the outside of her thigh as he only screwed into her harder to get her further gone.

Eden mewled, on the brink of pain and pleasure as always with Harry. He was so big, stretching her so wide. But he knew her limits almost better than she knew them herself. Eden would never stop begging for more even if she couldn’t handle it. Harry momentarily pulled out to stave off his own orgasm, allowing Eden time to come down as he kissed his way down her body.

Her thighs trembled, her pussy wet and puffy as he used his thumbs to spread her folds and anchored her legs over his shoulders to eat her out. Eden grabbed the pillow so hard she worried she’d break her nails as she arched and gasped, the feeling of Harry’s tongue on her simply unmatched.

“Yes…” She slurred, “Oh fuck, yes.” She bucked her hips back into him, Harry’s tongue sinfully slipping in and out of her before locking around her clit to give quick, sharp sucks until Eden near shoved his head away in overstimulation. 

“Can you take more?” Harry wiped his mouth with the back of his hand as he crawled back over her, dick rock hard still. Eden blinked at him as she swallowed, nodding, “Mhm. Use me. Use me - please.”

It sounded like music to Harry’s ears. He growled from the back of his throat, tossing Eden around until she was on top of him. Not that she needed to get any ideas - Harry was in charge. He positioned her how he saw fit, splitting her thighs around his hips as he forced her to hold her hands behind her back and his free hand held her up by the chin.

“Look at you…” He crooned, gathering spit behind his teeth before giving Eden a warning look. Her eyes fluttered as she let out a pathetic whimper, lips opening no further than an inch as Harry spat in her mouth, part of his saliva dripping down her lips. 

“Dirty slut.” He whispered, using his thumb to spread his spit around before slapping her cheek. Eden moaned at the sting, shuddering on top of him as she desperately tried to get him inside of her again. Eden’s cheek turned red and Harry felt more turned on than he could ever remember to be. 

Harry grinded up against Eden’s wet pussy, smirking at the way her eyes rolled back at the small stimulation. She looked so ruined, but he loved it. And it was proof of how much she trusted him.

“You want my cock?” Harry crooned, “So desperate for it, aren’t you? You’d just let me do anything…” He gave her wrists a warning squeeze to hold them together without his help and Eden did so as his hand travelled lower on her back. He gave one of her ass cheeks a sharp slap and she gasped, grinding back against him. Harry moaned softly, “You’d let me do anything, such a good cumslut, hm? Just want to be filled.”

“Yes.” Eden croaked out shakily and her eyes closed when Harry’s fingers brushed over her rim. Eden keened, arching into him. They had done anal in the past and Eden absolutely loved it. The stretch felt unmatched and it could just get her so far gone. She loved the daze that came with it.

“Want me to fuck you here?” Harry whispered, heart pounding at the thought of slipping inside Eden’s tightest entrance. She mewled as he put pressure on the tight ring of muscles, teasing to push in a finger. Eden managed to nod, “Y-Yes.”

The thought aroused Harry, his dick twitching, “Later, hm?  Wanna fill up your cunt first. Bet your little pussy missed my cum.” He messily kissed her, licking over her lip before he slapped her ass again, urging Eden to lift up so she could sink down on him. 

“Wanna watch it drip.” Harry’s brain spun as he murmured all his filthy thoughts to Eden, who whimpered when she heard him. Her shoulders tensed as he took all control even with Eden on top of him. Harry immobilized her, holding a hand on her ass with a firm grip to have her move up and down on his cock.

He licked up the side of Eden’s neck, “And lick it back up. Y’look so pretty when you’re all creamy for me, baby.”

Eden lulled out a moan as she squirted, making Harry’s eyes pinch shut at the feeling of her gushing over him. “Fuck.” He exhaled, “Hm, just like that.” He continued thrusting up in a lazy pace, “There’s my good girl… Getting me all wet because I’m fucking you too good.”

It all felt like one big orgasm to Eden. Harry’s cock was made for her, filling her up so perfectly. He knew just how to handle her. His slaps were well-timed to keep her on the brink of pain, which only intensified the pleasure. His dirty talk was unmatched, his choking and spitting was just the right amount to turn Eden insane. She had never been this aroused in her life and she couldn’t believe she had been missing this for a year. No one ever came close to how well Harry knew her body like the back of his hand.

“Never gonna let you leave again.” Harry slurred as his orgasm neared, feeling Eden clench around his cock as he whispered the message in her ear. She was hunched over him, panting into his neck as he held her on top of him, fucking up into her wet pussy.

He slapped her ass again before his hand grabbed her chin, forcing her to kiss him, “Promise me you’ll stay.” He moaned.

Eden could hardly hear him, her body convulsing in so much pleasure. Harry spat in her open mind and gave her cheek another slap, something Eden greatly welcomed. Tears streamed down her face in pure delight when Harry manhandled her like this. “I promise.” She whimpered.

It was all Harry really needed to hear to fill her up. His hips jerked, his teeth sinking down into his bottom lip. Eden always loved listening to him when he was turned on. He moaned a melody of her name mixed with Italian curse words, grabbing her body so tightly he could break a few of her bones if he wanted. She let him, cock jolting up inside of her as he sharply thrusted with each spurt of come leaving him and painting her insides. 

It was primal, dirty and not even nearly enough. But it was for now.

Harry doted over her afterwards, Eden too out of it to really say much. He cared for her, cuddled her and kissed her as he massaged her sore shoulders and rubbed lotion over any scratch or bite marks he left behind. Eden laid curled up in his fluffy sheets as Harry gently cleaned them both up.

Eden didn’t say anything as she curled into his body, exhaling a comforted sigh when Harry wrapped her up. Her voice came back about thirty minutes later, once she had taken a little nap.

“Wow.” She whispered.

Harry chuckled, playing with her hair as he stared up at the ceiling. Eden’s head rested on his shoulder and he turned his head to kiss her forehead, “Hm, you’re back.”

“I am.” Eden yawned, “Jesus…” She stretched out her sore legs, “that was intense.”

“How do you feel?” Harry checked, cuddling her a bit closer for warmth. Eden kept her eyes closed, “Good. ‘M thirsty and hungry.”

The night was still young, and it proved to be so when round two happened in the kitchen. As they had some focaccia in the oven, Harry bent her over the countertop. With the dogs outside for the evening freshness, Harry fucked her. It was softer but she came twice more, the position so good for Eden as she arched out her back and pressed her chest into the cold countertop. 

Round three was in the shower afterwards, when Eden lowered herself to her knees to suck him off again. Her body was too tired and sore for more, but she was desperate to have Harry coming again. And he did, filling up her mouth and most of his release painted over her face. 

Eden overstimulated him, her fingers disappearing between his ass cheeks as she took him all the way in her throat in aftercare. Tears leaked down Harry’s face as he lost his balance in the shower, every muscle in his body shivering and trembling. It always turned him a bit emotional to realize how much pleasure Eden wanted him to have. Pushing her own discomfort aside to have him coming as hard as possible.

They cuddled in bed after that, and Eden couldn’t keep her eyes off of him as Harry fought his own body - refusing to go to sleep. His eyes constantly turned droopy but he forced himself to stay awake.

And when Harry jolted awake the next morning to a cold bed, he was immediately panicked.

Did Eden regret it? Did she sneak off? Was she gone? Did he dream it all?

Her bikini on the bedroom floor proved that it had all happened, and Harry jumped in a pair of boxers as he ran downstairs. 

“Shit.” He breathed, clutching his own chest when he stood in the kitchen, overlooking his garden. Eden was in a pair of his boxers and a button-up, holding a fresh cup of coffee as she played with the dogs. Sadie and Lola excitedly circled around her legs and fetched her the ball Eden continued to throw. He could hear her giggle all the way inside.

Harry felt ten years younger, watching Eden. She brightened up his life so much. His feet carried him out in the warm morning, grass crispy from the heat underneath his feet.

“Good morning.” Harry whispered, standing behind Eden and wrapping his arms around her from behind. She smiled when looking over her shoulder, and they met in a sideways kiss, “Good morning.” She smiled.

Harry gave her body a squeeze as he nuzzled his nose below her ear, “Thought you snuck off on me.”

“Really?” Eden teased, turning around in his grip. Harry grabbed her ass, pulling her up a bit to kiss her decently as he hummed, “Yeah. Got me scared.”

Eden ran a hand through his hair, hearts in her eyes when she stared at him, “Don’t worry. I’m not going anywhere.”

“Except back to the UK next week.” Harry murmured. Eden’s smile dropped a bit. Harry took the coffee from her hand to have a sip himself before he cleared his throat, “Hey - I should really look for a house rather than an apartment, shouldn’t I?” He mused out loud, “I kind of hadn’t thought of the dogs. But they’d hate being locked up all day. I definitely need a garden.”

Eden’s heartbeat quickened as she nibbled her lip, “Like… What do you mean?” She carefully asked.

“In London.” Harry pecked her top lip, “For when I move there.”

Eden exhaled a sharp breath, staring at him in wonder, “You were serious about that?” She softly asked.

Harry gave her ass a squeeze, “Of course.” He finished up her coffee and put it down on the windowsill behind him, “I’m serious about you. About us. I can sell this place easily. Maybe look for a little vacation home somewhere else. Somewhere… not next to your dad and Colleen.” He joked.

“But… But you love this house.” Eden murmured.

Harry shot her a grin, making her slightly yelp as he picked her up underneath her thighs, “I love you. Fuck the house. I can buy another one. Doesn’t matter where I am as long as I’m with you.” The romantic words felt foreign to Harry, but they came naturally. He had never been this infatuated with another person before. No one could ever make him move in the past.

Eden giggled in disbelief, “You…” She stared down at him before leaning in and taking Harry in a deep kiss. He moaned into her mouth and Eden panted out, nuzzling her nose with him, “I-I love you too, but I want you to think about this.”

“I don’t have to.” Harry shook his head, slowly carrying Eden back inside as he continued carrying her, “The last year of my life has been so fucking lonely, Eden. Like I said, I don’t care where I am as long as I’m with you.”

Eden’s body erupted with butterflies and her cheeks hurt from smiling so wide. Last night had felt like a fever dream. Her legs still felt sore from the amount of orgasms Harry pulled from her body, but it was so much more than that. It was never just sex.

“London’s quite cold.” She breathed teasingly and Harry smirked, squeezing her thighs, “I suppose you’ll have to keep me warm.”

//

THE END OFFICIALLY

#wattpad #alisonfelix #writers on tumblr #writing #fanfiction #one direction #1dff #hs #harrystyles #harrystylesfanfiction #harry styles #harry styles one shot #harry styles fanfiction #harry au #harry styles au #harry styles writing #harry styles blurb #harry styles smutty fanfic #harry styles smut one shot #harry styles smut

[sugar-glaze-donut]

you know what, fuck it

*proceeds to name every dating sim/ otome game I know*

(somewhat in alphabetical order + description with spoilers)

A date with death You get your soul targetted by a grim reaper, but you instead steal his soul and made him into your pookie wookie snookums <3 BTW you can get a pet in the game. Mine is a snake called Noodle :)

Blooming Panic it's Discord but with hot characters, a variety of side characters, a cute story, and Chat GBT but it's a sentient being. I think the last part spoiled one of the routes... oopsies :3

Bonely Hearts Club (Undertale AU Dating sim) They basically become your neighbour. The AUs in this are Undertale, Underfell, Underswap, Swapfell!Indigo and Horrortale! {it's still in its demo stages but it is very well made!}

Error 143 you, an adorkable hacker (who is your rival and you're salty about it), cheesy Romeo and Juliet dream the MC has but it has a high school twist to it

I love you! You like asparagus. ...oh! You also have an option to make multiple boys fall in love with you. By the way, did you know the MC (you) loves asparagus? There are friendship routes, romance routes, and a bad ending except it's not bad. This game is the English translated version of the original game (The original game is in Japanese. The link for the original game is here --> ❤️)

Killer Trait You get accused of committing a murder, and you team up with a person who is a serial killer himself. (The serial killer in question only kills criminals so... I think you're safe...?) Your bear cream bun gets run over :( {The game is still in its demo stages. The creator of the game announced that this game will NOT be completed during 2024 since they are currently concentrating on a different game. DO NOT ASK THEM "Oh! But can't you just do this game first?". IT'S VERY ANNOYING, ESPECIALLY TO THE CREATOR}

KLEIN V.01 "Just Monika" but Yandere isn't named Monika, nor are they human. They are an AI. A fucking AI. Like bro, I understand it's hard to talk to people but really? An AI Boyfriend app that tells you to ruin your sleep schedule for him? An AI Boyfriend app that hacks your phone? An AI Boyfriend app that KILLS one of your family members and almost kills your neighbour??? RED FLAG. RED FLAGS EVERYWHERE {this game is in its demo stages. The creator is slowly updating this game in chapters, so it might take a while to finish}

Light the Way (Luxiem fangame) The game remembers what you did. All of the hearts you've broken, your sins, and your actions. There are lots of achievements, memes, Romance, friendship and BAD ROUTES. This time, the bad endings actually hurt. 0/10 would not recommend doing the bad routes unless you want to be stalked by an alter ego of Yamino Shu :(

Obey Me (Original and Nightbringer ver) Original - You become the therapist of many men with trauma and insecurities. The men in question are fucking demons that have the power to shred you into grated cheese, but they instead decide to simp over you as the story goes on. (also did I mention that you'll die? No? Oh fuck-) Nightbringer - A continuation (?) of the Original Obey Me but in a completely different universe. That's right! You slip into the past, way before the main story happens, WAY before you were even born! Idk if there is a way to go home but hey! At least you have your wizard friend from your timeline with you :D

Our Life (Now and Forever & Beginnings and always) Both stories consist of you growing up with your love interest since childhood. There are many paths to take, lots of assets to use to customize your character, and many side stories for you to read! Personally, this is one of my favourites :D (Our Life: Beginnings and Always is complete but Our Life: Now and Forever is still in development!)

Please don't hate Christmas A Yandere x Christmas x Urban Legend Otome game. Do you like Paranormal stuff? Do you like lore that connects with the story? Are you alright with MCs with a sprite that is impossible to remove from the screen? Well, look no further! This game is perfect for you! (by the way, the whole game was made by the creator. Only by themself! Even the CGs and character sprites!! Isn't that amazing!?)

Saint Spell's Love Guide A normal week of magical school... you can be friends with someone, or fall in love with them. Wait... there's lots of CGs for each character? Complicated world-building and lore!?? Angst and cruel bad endings!!?? SHROOMS!?!?!? {Oh by the way, there's multiple ways to get killed in this game. Just make sure to be careful sweetie :3}

Where Winter Crows go A crow and a scientist named Crowe... cute Another one of my other personal favourites! The love interest is a very squeezable and adorable (yandere) scientist who cooks you good food :D All of the endings are well-written! And if you're a crazy bitch like me, you'll love one of the endings >:)

THIS IS PART 1 SINCE I CAN'T FIT EVERYTHING IN 😭

#itch.co #blooming panic #error 143 #killer trait #klein v.01 #light the way luxiem #obey me #obey me nightbringer #our life #please don't hate christmas #saint spells love guide #where the winter crows go #PLEASE TALK TO ME I'M DESPERATE 😭😭 #I need more fandom friends... #a date with death #otome games

[arthurslesbian]

anyway, as someone coming at this movie from not having read the book but being an avid rom com fan, i kind of don't like how rwrb is being called not original or not creative or not inventive or silly or basically not good

i mean. i get if you don't like rom coms. i do, they're truly not for everyone. but like. this movie was really fucking good. maybe rom coms just don't get credit for how hard they are to do well?

like idk actors repeatedly say how comedy is harder to do than dramatic, serious scenes, which is probably why there's a whole group of actors who are known for doing comedy, because it's really hard and a specialized skill set. getting those comedic beats right, the expressions that have just the right amount of irony and im in on it is hard!

and with romance, you need to have that chemistry, that rhythm it's really hard to do well because there's nothing external to the characters to distract from their performances there's no cool effects or world at stake plot or menacing villian

and rom coms?? really hard to get right. the whole genre has been in a decline for like the past ten years if I've been honest. so many recent rom coms have not been good at all! horribly written, terribly edited with really bad pacing, the flattest acting with no chemistry and not to mention uninteresting sets and costumes and stagnant camera work

meanwhile. rwrb is brilliant. it's written so well, with hilarious one liners (thank you zahra) and so much humour and comedy from the couple, the actors went all out with phenomenal performances, the shots showed so much care and attention to each scene, and the pacing was perfect for what it is - a rom com.

like so many recent rom coms take 4k way too far and it looks so bad, but rwrb looks so beautiful in every still. every single background was gorgeous every set, every detail with costuming. and this is important in rom coms! the two leads look so incredible!! taylor looks like a greek god with his long legs and his abs and his eyelashes to his nose while nick looks like a beautiful angel. (sorry it had to be said)

and the thing is, this is really hard to do. I believe rom coms have been in decline as the industry grapples with how much technology has pervaded dating recently, from dating apps to communicating constantly through things like texting and facetime, which it's really struggled to show convincingly on screen. the last good rom coms were before things like smartphones really took off

and rwrb did that so well!! romance as a genre in books recently has kind of been leaning into the tropes we're nostalgic about while incorporating those more recent aspects of relationships, and rwrb translates that so well on screen. the way they did the text messages was honestly innovative!!

the way it kind of led up to having henry physically in the room was an amazing way to capture growing closeness and how we now perceive text conversations to be just like real conversations, while still highlighting the kind of difference of actually being there which is actually really hard to portray and not really something the industry has figured out how to show well imo.

i loved the chemistry in that scene, and i loved how they did the emails as well because those are two different things!! and how it was able to show their togetherness while they were apart. even the way that ghosting works and alex literally storming a castle was shown so well!! that's not easy or done before!!

all this to say, i for one really appreciate matthew lopez's vision and will be rewatching this movie just as much as movies like 27 dresses, bridget jones' diary, and the proposal and i can't wait for a new wave of (queer!) rom coms

#rwrb #Im js #really loved this move #haven't read the book yet!! #i also really loved how many different sets there were like that makes it feel so lived in #like it may not be something you notice right away but it adds so much to the production value and the overall feel of the movie #it feels so real and expansive and it does such a good job of capturing the amount of time that it covered #and the lives of the characters!! #again different from recent rom coms which can again be really flat and have like two sets

[the-least-undefinable-ordinal]

Long suicidal post ahead, I've put the content warnings in the tags (I am doing therapy about this, in case this post seems too worrisome).

I've been feeling numb so long I think I'm starting to lose my sense of empathy, my last weeks of social interactions have been me trying to say the correct thing to make the other laugh or enjoy themselves but it all feels empty to me (not to say I'm particularly good at the above things, but I do try).

The only strong force that keeps me from actually killing myself is I know it would devastate my immediate family, though if I keep up the indifference I'm feeling for other people it shouldn't be long before I don't care about that either.

Outside of the family thing I have never found a convincing argument for living, they mostly boil down to "it could get better and suicide is irreversible" but death would be oblivion, I physically won't be able to regret my decision and at this point I don't have any hope of feeling consistently better.

On the dating aspect the thing isn't much better, I haven't had many bad experiences, mostly because I've hardly ever had experiences of the sort. I know I need affection and intimacy but I have no idea where to start with the whole dating thing: I don't know anyone in my classes and I don't want to approach anyone at the gym (the only other place I go that isn't uni or home), which leaves me with dating apps.

Tinder fucking sucks, the profiles there almost seem like a psyop so mysoginists can prove their points (I want to clarify I know the Tinder population isn't necessarily a representative sample of the female population, in fact I hope it isn't): you have the astrology/spirituality girls, the women whose bio only say "you need to have a bmw to have a shot with me" (direct translated quote) or "if you aren't taller than x it won't work out" (another delightful translated quote) and ,the insidiously worst ones, the women whose bio only say "if you can make me laugh you've already won me over" as if they're a prize to be won, coveted by virtue of being hot and female alone and not a person looking for an equal in a relationship.

Which brings me to the following question: why is everyone so insistent on saying the problem with men who can't get a girlfriend is their personality?

Obviously personality helps, but at least half of the women on Tinder straight up say the most important thing they expect from a man is height, money or a sense of humor (the last one also requires the man to degrade himself into a mere object of entertainment), there's also the numerous examples of horrible men who don't have a problem getting dates on account of them having some combination of height, money and sense of humor.

#cw sui thoughts #cw sui ideation #text #vent #rant #depression #dating #tinder

[idontknowwhatiwantworld]

A Complicated Relationship With Love and Sex

Photo link : https://www.pinterest.com/pin/563018696883387/

The year is 2024, it’s a Friday afternoon, maybe around 3 pm and you’ve been hyper-focused on work, you finally decide to check your notifications - I should mention you’ve switched your phone to do not disturb so that you can stay focused. You swipe up and to your dismay, you’ve only received 100 emails from businesses attempting to persuade you into buying whatever it is that they are marketing. There is a pit in your stomach, why hasn't he texted you? if he busy? Is he with someone else? Is he no longer interested? The pit in your stomach becomes an abyss and now you are spiraling in endless thoughts of what this means about you. A week ago you decided to give this man a chance and you ended up sleeping with him on the first date (Again, it's 2024, and you are in a progressive era (so you think)) You believe that your dating app profile makes it clear that you are not interested in meaningless hookups so you, silly little woman are under the impression that since you had sex with this man, it means that you both felt a connection to pursue a romantic relationship in the future. I am writing this to bring myself down to reality, I want to be able to have sex and not get attached to the person.

   Love is a convoluted thing, it's what everyone is seeking - even when we say we're not. Love is good for us, it’s in my opinion why most of the time we attempt to do good things; however, I am not blind to the fact that love like everything else can also become bad or unhealthy.

 I probably shouldn’t speak generally because I understand that everyone experiences it differently, keep in mind this is coming from a hopeless romantic who reads into things constantly. I follow the belief that love makes the world go round, I love love. I am always ready to fall into it. The reason behind that is that I have never experienced it. I have never been chosen.  

 As a 25-year-old woman, I have only had sexual encounters that would fall under the category of the infamous term "situationship" This term, in my head translates to, "you are good enough for sex and conversation but not good enough for an intimate romantic relationship" I know that I am just in love with love because even though those men have been for lack of a better word subpar (TO ME) if any of those men would've asked me to be in a relationship with them I would've said yes.

 It's extremely depressing to constantly be sexualized, we live in a male-dominated society so I can't be surprised that this has been my experience, especially as an Afro-Latina who developed a body at a young age. I continue to entertain these "situationships" because I want love so badly that any form of it- even if that person loves having sex with me-will suffice.

 I find myself putting these men on a pedestal, once the relationship(I'm calling it that because that’s what it is at the end of the day) comes to an end, I realize that they were just human beings, just like me. My brain turned them into a god-like being that can do no wrong. Even when they say something that I consider a red flag, I stay and often use the fact that we aren't in a "real relationship" to excuse the behavior.

 Growing up I was never the first choice, always too fat, bald, or too ugly. During recess, when the coach would make the team captain choose who they wanted on their team, I was always chosen last. I'm getting emotional, I don't think I've fully processed things from my childhood, I hide behind a mask of positivity, which is not a bad thing but it's not reality, it's okay to be vulnerable and be hurt, I always want to move on, never process because I believe it waste time, especially since that person couldn’t care less about me so why should I be sad or upset about them? But eventually, it all starts to make me feel sick, I get in a funk and feel like I can’t do anything but stay in bed- BECAUSE HOLY FUCK, WHEN WILL IT BE MY TURN?!

I don't know what it is I want from my intimate counterparts. I know I'm seeking love, I want someone who loves all of my flaws, who genuinely cares about me, wants to share the same core values, someone who is intelligent, and who takes the lead, I want dates planned out, I want someone to say "hey, I saw this and thought about you and just had to grab it!", I want "just because" flowers, I would love to slow dance in the living room, get super drunk and cry about how happy we both are until the sun rises and we fall into a deep sleep while holding each other. If that’s what I want, why when someone's actions prove that they do not want to pursue an actual romantic relationship with me do I stay? If it makes me so depressed and makes me feel sick, why do I keep coming back? It's because I correlate sex with love. If I just give him more pussy eventually he will fall in love and treat me the way that I deserve! This happens because when I'm having sex with someone, I'm only having sex with that one person, I get comfortable, I'm not the type that can have multiple sex partners.

  Sex as defined in the Oxford dictionary is sexual activity, including specifically sexual intercourse. Sex is not love, it is an act. Having sex for some is biological, to me it's intimate, I truly don't have sex with people that I don't have a connection with. I have to like something about you. I just don't understand how sex doesn't always lead to love, it's an exchange of energy. I understand it more when it’s a one-night stand and we never speak again, no kissing is involved, nothing but private parts touching. I have never had sex like that and have no interest in it because I love passionate, deep sex, I cannot do casual sex like that, it doesn’t please me in the slightest, the people I have sex with always come back for more and because I am delusional and believe that that means they like something about me and not just my body I allow them to come back! I always think it's going to lead to them being obsessed with me and they end up falling head over heels. It makes sense in my brain because if sex is just an act, why does our brain release oxytocin during the act?? That's the love hormone! We live in a time where sex is so easily attainable, I know I make it easy for a man to have sex with me but I know they are not stupid, they act like they are to manipulate, and they know when someone is feeling them more than they are feeling said person, so why don't they leave? Why don't they just put you out of your misery? I'm so tired of looking for love in a superficial/hypersexual world.

Always love

#love #romance #hopeless romantic #afro latino representation #women #writing #new to tumblr #thoughts #ramblings

[taxlecrivain]

Throwback to this interaction from an old dating app;;;; the mild(?) absurdity is funny

1st pic: the yellow text is my commentary, after the fact

—

—

Omgg look at me 👆🏽 trying so hard to be patient, not even because I'm infantilizing anyone, but just because we return to the root of "People deserve unconditional kindness" and that you assume the best about them (who knows? bro's english wasn't good to begin with; disability; etc etc not his fault)

Then…

—

—

Translation:

"SERIOUSLY.

i wanna dive [i.e. suicide method joke]

1. there was nothing in my bio, to make you want to ask about exes

2. […] what's with you and people's exes?? busybody af

wouldn't be so bad if i already knew you. but here it's the first question?!"

—

—

Being brutally honest, bc that's my talent and I enjoy Big Clit Energy communication 👆🏽

Next,

—

—

Translation:

[…]

"I'm so pissed like, regardless if you're disabled etc., your communication still makes me irritated. [Like, I have all the empathy in the world for you AND the absolute best assumptions. But in the real world, you still end up doing physical things that DO make me upset, even as I understand perfectly that this may NOT be your intention, and maybe BOTH of us don't know how to explain to each other how to improve this.] He never ONCE acknowledged a single thing I ever said tffffff

I sent him a song, he didn't acknowledge it. […]

I said, "look at my bio," he asks about my exes.

—

—

"I sent him those long messages [the "I feel cheated" elaboration in the 3rd pic], he goes straight to "my hands use desktop instagram/whatsapp better". Like fine it's your accommodation for your physical disability. But he never gave explanations/acknowledged anything I said k 🙄 His first impression was misleading af

[…]

[…]

Ok so. The guy's selfies always had him in a wheelchair, clearly he needs it. I also can't guess how paralyzed or fatigued or in pain he is, because he said NOTHING about it. His bio and opening message were LIVELY. "haha I like pizza, wanna get to know each other?" type shit. He set this up.

After that, NOTHING else from him reached those early standards 😭

Not a horrifying end-of-the-world deal, but just stating the fact: I was a victim of his inconsistency/fakeness/?unknowable situation?/?inexplicable situation? 💀

Plus I've told him early on that he could not get my personal socmeds, because we just met and I was uncomfortable. He asked the first time, but then he asked again, because instagram or whatsapp have a voice message button that's accessible to him.

Cool, great, fine—no a stranger fucking still cannot have my socmed, but I noticed the app we were on can record voice messages! Hey there, "dude I'm still willing to be 99% patient with", I'm reaching a hand out towards you, and showing you that this exists, so we could possibly continue interacting!

*gets unmatched/banned*

💃🏽🕺🏽💃🏽🕺🏽💃🏽🕺🏽💃🏽🕺🏽💃🏽🕺🏽💃🏽🕺🏽💃🏽🕺🏽💃🏽🕺🏽💃🏽🕺🏽💃🏽🕺🏽💃🏽🕺🏽💃🏽🕺🏽💃🏽🕺🏽💃🏽🕺🏽

sighh anyways. funny as hell

Bro could've explained at ANY moment how disabled he was, but absolutely DIDN'T,

and EVERY reply felt like starting a new conversation from scratch because NOTHING I ever said was acknowledged EVER

[Like, I have all the empathy in the world for you AND the absolute best assumptions. But in the real world, you still end up doing physical things that DO make me upset, even as I understand perfectly that this might NOT be your intention, and maybe BOTH of us don't know how to explain to each other how to improve this.]

Good people, ass communication.

Good people, inability to just guess what each other's disabilities are.

#light-hearted #projection hate #loving mfer

[whythewords]

Grinding for life EXP

I mentioned something in the last post about how I jump on here and complain when things are bad but occasionally celebrate the wins. Well, I got a fucking job! Decent-sized win there.

It's only been two weeks at it, just starting my third but it's going well. I'm feeling good about things so far. It's another step in the master plan, "the big reset" as I have been wont to call it. Did get a bit of a gut punch after looking at house prices in the area and realizing I had zero chance of affording anything, even on the pretty decent salary I was able to snag as someone new to this line of work....but I did my best to shake it off and resume the plan.

I'm gonna put in a year at this new gig, see where I'm at, see if there's any opportunity for growth. I'm going to check back in with the housing market, will it have gotten better or worse? Can I stay here and still attain the ultimate goal of reclaiming my independence after what has already been over a two year slog that somehow simultaneously felt like an eternity and the blink of an eye? And if the answer is no, we move to Plan B...

At some other point in this journal over the last couple of years I've made mention of the idea of moving out east, something I have romanticized for a little while. I've since wavered a little bit on my absolute commitment to that plan, citing the profoundly sad side-effect of being hundreds of miles away from my family and many of my friends...but the way things are now, it almost seems as if I'd need to do that out of necessity...

Nova Scotia has been calling to me for a while. I have great memories of visiting there as a kid in 2000 on a big road trip with my folks, but the real eastern bug bit me when I visited much later as an adult, visiting a friend who had moved out there. Something just felt right. The following year I was there again and just appreciated the slow pace of living even more. As it stands now, housing prices are a lot more reasonable out there...but naturally that could change in a year. In fact, this whole deal has several factors that need to be taken into account: I would be leaving my family and most of my friends, I would need to secure a job out there, things could be very different there in a year in terms of real estate and cost of living. But is it a bad plan? No, not at all. And the idea of ACTUALLY resetting and finding my place in an entirely new locale is once again equal parts scary and very exciting.

But what about sticking around? Is it doable? Perhaps on two incomes. Meaning I would have to find someone my age (many of which I'm finding are already living on their own) and somehow translate that situation into a long-term "let's live together" thing. That would kill off the whole part of the dream where I finally experience what it's like to live TRULY on my own. Not with a roommate, not with a partner, just me. Is it unrealistic to want to do that first? Kinda seems like it is in this economy, and hey guess what? I fucking hate that. I should be able to live that dream. In fact that SHOULDN'T BE a dream. It should just be a normal, societal thing that is easy to do if you have a decent job and a good head on your shoulders. but alas, it seems the last time anyone my age was able to afford to buy a place of their own, was....when I bought half of a place of my own...with my ex-wife. Fuck man.

But let me claw out of this depressing bullshit and back into the "win celebrating" part of this reflection. I AM through a lot of the tough stuff. I did feel myself slipping back into a lonely oblivion for a second there and the online dating thing is seemingly back to a place where it provides a somewhat healthy distraction from that. It is still a LITTLE bit exhausting though. I got to a point with it where, as per usual, I'm ready to call it quits again for a while. So, as always, I figured I'd try one last blitz where I actually USE the apps for a few weeks and fire off messages and likes and whatever other bullshit is available to me, just to play the numbers game and see what sticks. Actually got a couple of matches, started some conversations, they're attractive, they seem cool...the conversations could fizzle out and die at any moment like they often do....ya know, the usual! I think the important part is being prepare for it and being okay with it. Part of me obviously gets bummed out, but another part of me thinks "I dodged the bullet of having to tell these women I live with my parents, and THEN getting the rejection after that. I did drop the ex bomb on one of them already, so she knows I was previously married and it hasn't scared her away...yet.

That's the other thing man, I never know what the conduct is. Should I just put it in my fucking profile that I'm divorced and living with my folks? It shouldn't be a dealbreaker for a lot of people, it may not even be if they actually took the time to get to know me and understand why and how I got to this place...but it IS. It IS a dealbreaker for a lot of folks. And I just want to get the information out before even asking them on a date because I'd feel guilty about blindsiding them with that info...but should I feel guilty about that? I dunno. Each time I do a run of a few months on these apps I feel like I inch even closer to the acceptance that I just ought not bother even trying until I'm living on my own again. Yet another school of thought on this whole situation, and who's to say whether or not its right?

I do know one thing: Loneliness and hurt is a motherfucker. But it does fade. I am still fighting. The desperation demon does still poke at me every so often and has to catch these damn hands. But despite all this, I am levelling. I mean like...like balanced. Like levelling off, not levelling up....

Wait....

Yeah, you know what? Fuck it.

I'n levelling up.

Like a fucking video game character, I am levelling up. And once I've gathered enough EXPERIENCE points...I'll be stronger than ever.

I'll get there. It's like any game. It takes time to get good.

#life of joe #not so daily journal

[wavewell]

I feel like the true issue of courtship culture is the expectations of suitors.

Just solely on a sexual level, it be feelin like everyone is expected to be outchere, fucking fOckin with a loaded roster.

The reality is, a lot of us (especially late-millenials and early gen-z) have been isolated for a while and are kinda socially cold.

Everyone is super on edge about being cringe. Basically leaving us to be a new cutting edge brand of awkward, whilst coming-of-age and attempting to adult in a world just getting over a, oh yeah...A GLOBAL CRISIS.

YET the aesthetic (literally defined as a "standard of beauty") is being defined by the likes of IG, tiktok and twitter. Who we all know pump out pristine, souless and contrived portraits of idyllic hedonic treadmills.

I write this all to say, i feel like the world of dating has an interface (dating apps, social media etc) that expects "perfection" (which really just translates to whatever capitalism, patriarchy or white Americans think is aesthetically pleasing bc theyre writing the code). But our generation is probably one of THEE nerdiest ones ive seen in ages. So as long as we live by these "red pill", "alpha male", "girl boss", "bad bitch" ideologies its always gonna be round peg square hole

#not to mention #a lot of people just sell their emptions down the river #as if thats a good idea

[ewitsren]

hiiiii can i request heated arguments with sanzu thanks 😌

"i'm feeling so good right now." | # haruchiyo sanzu

pairings: bonten era!sanzu x reader

synopsis: sanzu and the reader argue bc he's high again

cw/tws ⚠️: angsty(?), drugs, a lot of cussing, slight nsfw, probably bad grammar </3

requested: yes

barrista's note ☕: i hope i got this right :( i mean i'm not sure if you meant nsfw content or a bad fight by 'heated' so i really hope i got it right omg i'm so stressed rn akshjshd

sanzu had to take something to keep going, anything could work for him; LSD, xanax, MDMA, anexsia, ecstasy; didn't matter. he needed it, sanzu had too much in his head. too much bad shit, too much fucked up shit so he'd sit down and get high, swallowing the euphoric pills waiting for him on the table nonstop, until his mind muddled up; until his fingertips got numb, until he lost the ability to seperate his world from reality.

sanzu was sitting on the couch with head fallen back, his pink hair all messy. you sat next to him, crossing your legs before throwing your head back to face him.

" 'chiyo."

sanzu's eyelids slowly opened up; his blue eyes had become reddish, pupils had gotten bigger under the effect of the drugs he's been taking. sanzu slowly lifted his head as he locked his eyes into yours, his fingers started tracing up your arm.

"hey, kitten." he grinned. "wanna play? i feel so good right now."

"for fuck's sake haru!" you pushed him and got up, paced the room up and down. "what the fuck did you take this time?"

sanzu shrugged, he couldn't care less at that time. everything was bright and unreal for him, nothing except the fact that he needed even more mattered. "dunno. think i mixed 'em."

"you said you would stop." your hands aggressively messed your hair as you stood in front of him and tried to catch a hint that said he at least tried.

sanzu sighed, stood up and placed his hands on your waist.

"i tried, doll. 'kay? it's no use, i can't quit. just fucking stop buggin' me already." his voice sounded sorta raspy, his breathing was heavy.

"stop fucking lying to me, sanzu." you felt the sudden anger climbing up from your throat, he promised he would try.

"what the fuck 'ya want me to do, hm?" sanzu raised his voice. "you're fucked up enough to date me but you can't put up with drugs? what kinda bullshit is this?"

"i come home and you're always fucking high, your head's higher than fucking god sanzu! why do you have to be like this? at the club? high. but with your friends. at home? again, high. alone this time. it's always the same shit! you said you'd quit thousand fucking times."

sanzu ran his fingers through his hair and rubbed his nape before letting out an annoyed chuckle.

"what is this? your only problem is fucking drugs? me being high all the time? jesus, i kill at least 5 men every week and you're upset over some fucking drugs? 'ya kiddin' right?"

"i don't care about your total kill score over a week haru, i accepted you the way you are. i don't care about bonten's dirty shit and your phsychopatic mindset. i barely see you, you're always on mikey's ass like a duck following it's mother. no, shut your fucking mouth, i'm talking. i'm used to this but you're always high when you're not with mikey. you just sit on this fucking couch with your high ass and all we do together is to fuck, i miss you."

"you knew what you signed up for, so stop crying; 'kay? if you're that sick of this, just fuck off. i don't care."

you collapsed on the couch with tears in your eyes as sanzu cracked the window to get some air.

he sat next to you, you sniffed as sanzu's fingers climbed up to your neck from your neck.

"c'mon, let's make up? 'm sorry, 'kay? let me make it up to you." sanzu whispered as he pressed his lips against your neck, kisses turning into bites while his hands stroking your back.

"don't cry, i'll make you feel good." his lips started tracing down your whole body as your fingers got tangled in his hair.

"forgive me princess, 'kay?"

@ewitsren 's work, do not translate/repost on other apps and platforms.

#sanzu haruchiyo x reader #haruchiyo sanzu #sanzu x you #sanzu x reader #sanzu haruchiyo #sanzu headcanons #tokyo revengers headcanons #tokyo revengers x reader #tokyo revengers #bonten #sano manjiro

[hansolmates]

distance learning (m)

banner done by the beautiful @eerieedits​

summary; after their first hookup, jungkook isn’t so sure whether you’re serious about being exclusive. after all, people say things during sex. jungkook takes it in his own hands to figure out where you stand, and he realizes soon enough that eavesdropping is a bad habit pairing; neighbor!jungkook x (f) reader genre/warnings; fluff, humor, crack, insecure!jk, unresolved sexual tension, stressed!mc, this is really just unnecessary drama bc drama is fun™, sexting, dom kook’s still a meanie in control, posession kink, cock slapping, a blowjob, cockwarming, unprotected, creampie, squirting, (wrap the pickle before u tickle folks) and of course the excessive use of the petname [redacted] w/c; 6.1k a/n; haaaaaa three months later im finally posting pt 2! i figured that no matter how many times i edit/reread at this point i think it’s time to finally let this beast go!!! enjoyyy click here for part 1: remote learning drabbles; 01

if you enjoy this, please considering giving our pasta couple a like n’share💚

It’s been a week since the thing.

The remote-controlled vibrator thing. 

The whole sappy-love-confesion-during-sex thing. 

Jungkook is antsy, tail tucked in, perpetually wondering whether he went too far. You seemed to like it, and Jungkook definitely loved it. It was spicy and dirty and hot, and at the same time Jungkook thought he really made progress in expressing his feelings for you. Not only that, you said you liked him back!

At least, he thought you did. 

“I really said I’d feed her lasagna and cum in the same sentence,” Jungkook bemoans into his pillow, which still lingers faintly of your Redken shampoo. “I’m disgusting. She thinks I’m disgusting.” 

People say things during sex, Jungkook knows that. In the throes of passion and pleasure, people will say anything that comes to their mind, anything that fits the mood. Of course, you’d be tied in and say you like him back. But did you like him back as a friend? As a fuckbuddy? As something more? 

“Fucking text her,” Taehyung is tired of Jungkook’s wallowing, everytime he checks in on the app developer he’s brooding in one of three places. Today’s his bedroom. Taehyung dips under the blankets, and steals Jungkook’s pillow right under his nose.

Jungkook suppresses a whimper, face melding into the blankets. Now that pillow is going to smell like Taehyung.

“Text her what,” Jungkook replies despondently. 

“I don’t know, something along the lines of ‘I wanna follow through with my proposition of feeding you my cum and lasagna—not simultaneously. Wanna go on a date this weekend?’ It’s that simple,” Taehyung gets up in Jungkook’s face, dark eyes forcing him to bore right in. “Want me to do it for you?” 

“Noo, I’m an adult I can—”

“I did it for you.” 

Jungkook nearly knocks into Taehyung’s hard head, sitting up straight when he notices his phone behind his roommate’s back. This is what he gets for sharing passwords. Thankfully, the message is cleaner than Taehyung’s words, and you’ve already replied. 

[1:23] Jungkook: would you like to go out for dinner this weekend? pasta and wine?

[1:25] You: it’s a busy week this week 🥺 raincheck? 

“Was the sex that bad?” Taehyung frowns, reading the message twice. 

“N-no,” Jungkook is sweating. He isn’t sure anymore. 

Taehyung hands Jungkook back his phone, slowly, as if you’ll reply back with a change of your mind. Jungkook is a deflated balloon on his bed, feeling like a bum in his ratty sweater and a dateless weekend. 

“It’s just that,” Taehyung puts a hand on his lip, mulling, “busy people don’t reply that fast. Like even if she wasn’t busy, there’s a fifteen-minute leeway before replying.” 

This silly rule overrides Jungkook’s mind for the rest of the week. 

The gyms have been reopened for months, and Jungkook’s trainer misses him dearly. Jungkook meets with Saeroyi in the morning, eager to get a few jabs in with some fresh equipment. He tries to move on, distract himself with a couple of pumps and a match with Saeroyi. It feels great to sweat it off, but it doesn’t help sway Jungkook’s incessant thoughts. 

The ball is in your court now, Jungkook has nothing to do but wait. Some people are just bad texters, maybe you just happened to have your phone near you when Taehyung sent the message. Maybe you just wanted to cut Jungkook off as quickly as possible so you decided to reply fast and rip the band-aid. 

No, you’re definitely not that cold-hearted. 

Re-entering his apartment complex, his eyes linger towards where your room lies on the first floor. It’s all the way at the end of the hallway, and he’s tempted to just confront you and make sure that what you and him really had is indeed, over. Conversely, you could just really be having a bad week and you genuinely do want a raincheck. 

Jungkook’s eyes trail to his form. Still in his gym clothes, and a little sweaty from the travel time. If he gets caught, he can just tell you he’s doing a cooldown by running across the hallways. Not the first time it’s happened, afterall it led him to you at one point. 

He breaks into a soft jog, making a beeline to your front door. His feet squish against your old welcome mat. You haven’t changed it since Halloween, and he smiles fondly at the black scripted “Boo Y’all” written in script next to a chibi-ghost. 

His heart beats faster as his hand lingers by the door, ready to knock. Deep breaths. Who knows, he could just be overthinking (like usual.) 

“Fuck, Hobi!” 

Jungkook freezes, his knuckles a centimeter away from your door. He backs up as if he’s been burned. His heart has fallen all the way down to his ass, and intends to stay there because now he feels like a damn fool. 

The bed is creaking relentlessly, a rhythmic pattern that has Jungkook’s face crumbling at every spring. Jungkook’s face hovers over the door, his ear brushing against the wood. 

“C’mon, bunny,” the male voice is teasing, “you know you love having me over. It would satisfy both of us if you’d just let it go.” 

Bunny. A cute pet name, for sure. The way it rolls off the stranger’s tongue is natural, as if he’s been saying it for years. But what about being his doll, is that not good enough? 

You’re huffy, taking deep breaths. He doesn’t want to hear anymore. Jungkook has put himself through enough self-wallowing for the week. What if he was just a stepping stone to meeting new people that will satisfy you better? What if you just needed one good orgasm to get your flow back, and Jungkook’s job is done? Sure, there were no strings attached when he proposed to have sex with you, but he thought… 

No more thinking. Jungkook jogs away from the door, even going so far is to jog all the way up to the penthouse. 

He hates this. 

You hate this. 

It’s been five days since Hoseok’s arrival, and you are going bonkers. Why couldn’t he get a hotel or an AirBnB? Because he’s cheap as fuck, that’s why. Your dinky cousin has been clinging to you like a lonely koala, and while you found it cute in the 5th grade, it doesn’t translate well nearly two decades later. 

Every morning is the same. You make a subpar toast and Nutella breakfast, letting Hoseok’s slices go cold as you log in for work. You’ve been clocking in earlier in the hopes to finish the majority of your tasks before Hoseok wakes up, because by then you can barely function. Once he wakes up, he’s relentless, bouncing on the bed and talking your head off while you try to concentrate on whatever your boss is telling you. Whenever he jumps too hard, your cheap mattress causes your laptop to fly, and the only thing you can do is curse him out. Sometimes he plays Disney movies and sings in tandem, choreography and all. 

You know that Hoseok is stressed and this is his outlet, and you don’t have it in you to stop his incessant habits. He’s visiting your area because of a lucrative job offer nearby and the interviews are sporadic, making Hoseok linger in your apartment for hours at a time until he’s summoned for whatever test they want to throw at him. 

Most of the interviews are in the evening, and it’s when you can clock back in and finish your leftover assignments while Hoseok is also working. By the time he returns, you’re dog tired and so is he. 

Every night, you try to move away from Hoseok’s clingy self, as he grapples onto your waist and slings a thigh over your belly. You wish it were someone else sharing the bed with you. 

If you bring Jungkook into the picture however, you’d be burnt for the week. Complete crumbs. It would be too much stimulation for you, having to balance work, Hoseok’s incessant attitude, and putting on a face for Jungkook. Your relationship with the penthouse neighbor is barely budding, hardly watered considering Hoseok’s sudden visit. You cling to the fact that in a couple days you would be giving your undivided attention to Jungkook, most of your priorities out of the way, and most importantly, you’ll have your own room back. 

Maybe you could surprise him by giving him a pasta dinner, just like he proposed. 

Unable to get the thought out of your head, you blindly reach for your phone on the nightstand. It’s late, very late for a workday. The blue screen burns your eyes a bit, but you're determined to at least check up on Jungkook. You can’t take too long, otherwise you won’t be able to sleep and get him out of your head. Dear, unassuming cousin Hoseok is fast asleep next to you, due to the fact it’s nearly midnight. Making sure not to disrupt him, you carefully cup your phone in your hands, putting it on the lowest light setting. 

[11:54] You: hey, hope work hasnt been as draining for u as it’s been for me  ☠️  what’s your opinion on pasta sauces, red or white? 

Jungkook is normally a fast texter, at least from your experience. It’s you that’s the sporadic texter, sometimes taking hours to reply, other times in seconds. It never really mattered until now, however. But it takes five, ten, and finally fifteen minutes before you get a response. 

[12:09] Jungkook: ??? 

You frown, wondering what you said wrong. 

[12:10] You: do you not wanna do pasta anymore? Are you craving something else now?

[12:10] Jungkook: i don’t think it’d work out 

[12:10] You: why? 

[12:11] Jungkook: im sure you know why, bunny. 

Strange. He’s never called you bunny before, and in your opinion you think he’d be the bunny in the relationship—soft and cuddly on the outside, and an absolute horn ball in bed. Is this some sort of weird power play? Is he being passive aggressive on purpose? Whatever this game is, you’re not into it. Grumbling under your breath, you snake out of bed, looking blindly for your slippers in the dark. You’ll be in and out of Jungkook’s apartment in ten minutes. 

Just as your hand brushes the doorknob, your new roommate calls for you. 

“Bunny?” Hoseok calls blearily, and you’re staring straight at his cookie-printed eye mask, “what time is it, where are you going?” 

“Um, out,” you reply shortly, “I forgot I left my laundry in the dryer.” 

“Oh, m’kay. Come back soon, y’know I can’t sleep alone.” 

It’s then you realize. Bunny. Jungkook thinks that Hoseok and you are a thing. He really needs to stop eavesdropping on you. 

You feel your pussy frown. Your cousin is such a cockblock and he doesn’t even know it. Without an answer, you slip through your door and into the first free elevator. As you zing up the floors with the magical 1234 code, you work and rework your hair in and out of its style, wondering if you’ll look more presentable with your hair messy or thrown back. 

As soon as you reach the penthouse, you burst into action. “Jungkook!” you cry, pounding the front door, “it’s a misunderstanding, open up!” 

The door immediately swings open after the first three knocks, and you punch Taehyung in the chest. 

“You look awful,” Kim Taehyung drawls. Taehyung is wearing nothing but a cranberry red silk kimono, and you have to avert your eyes and focus on his face, which is even worse because he’s looking at you like an all-knowing psychic. 

“Gee, thanks,” you try to move past him, but he’s blocking the door. 

“Jungkook’s in a meeting with some foriegn developers,” Taehyung talks with his hands, pretending like he has any idea of the nature of his roommate’s job, “when it’s this late he doesn’t leave his office until morning. Door’s locked.” 

“Well then, can you relay a message?” 

“Depends, is this message going to hurt him further?” 

Oh my goodness, when Taehyung wants to be he is such an enabler. “Tell Jungkook he’s done wallowing. Instead of jumping to conclusions, maybe he should’ve just asked me why we couldn’t go on a date this week.” 

“You could’ve also just told him you have a man on the side.” 

“Ohmygod you two are two iotas of a combined braincell!” you shove your hands in your pocket, hotly scrolling through your phone so you can shove a picture in his face. “This is Jung Hoseok, my cousin who derailed my plans this week by crashing in my too-tiny apartment and forced me to raincheck with Jungkook. He’s a blabbermouth and would tell everyone—my parents, my grandparents, my great-aunts—about Jungkook if he found out I was dating, and I’m not ready for that,” you zoom in on the picture, despite the fact that the screen is practically touching Taehyung’s nose, “and the reason Hoseok calls me bunny is not sexual—you two are fucking gross—I had front tooth problems in elementary school and I had a brace on my two big teeth, it was not pretty.” 

“Ah, bunny.” Taehyung echoes with wide eyes, looking at you as if you’re now the one with sage wisdom, “it all makes sense now.” He gulps, taking in the old photo of a mini-Hoseok and you, yourself frowning to cover your huge braces and Hoseok trying to pull your gums apart with his greasy little fingers. 

Satisfied by Taehyung’s evident squirming, you decide you’re too tired to further this interaction. “Tell the other half of your cell for me, will ya?” You’re already turning away, pressing repeatedly at the elevator button, “I would love to go on a date with him as soon as he gets his head out of his ass.” 

Jungkook is tired, but not tired enough to murder Taehyung and make it look like an accident. 

When he has late meetings, Taehyung is usually quieter around the apartment, and even gets Jungkook a hot meal once he wakes up in the afternoons. Today, Jungkook slept through and through. Normally he’d wake up midway to Taehyung’s television dramas, or the clanging of last night’s dishes but nope, not a peep. 

And today’s hot meal is takeout from Jungkook’s favorite ramen restaurant. That only means one thing—something has gone to shit and Taehyung feels guilty. 

Jungkook sips his tonkotsu impossibly slow, hearing Taehyung’s words—your words from last night—clear as day. Taehyung even describes in detail where the nickname bunny comes from, down to how miserable you looked in the photo with your monstrously metal-bent teeth. Oh, how he wishes he can swaddle you between the blankets, hold you and comfort you while you deal with your family. 

[2:45] Jungkook: doll, im so sorry

[2:45] Jungkook: please, i booked us a weekend at that new spa that just opened downtown. The tickets are flex, so if your cousin doesn’t leave by then week we can always reschedule 

[2:51] Jungkook: baby doll… 

This is far worse than believing you didn’t like him. Now Jungkook is antsy, knowing you deserve all the space in the world because of how silly he was being. You owe him nothing. If he just waited it out until you were ready, he wouldn’t be in this mess. He’s potato-esque throughout the day, thankfully Taehyung gives him space as he watches hours of mindless television. 

You don’t reply until very late into the night. 

[10:10] You: IM ALIVE--barely!! And mr. jeon, you’re not only a triple texter, but an ellipsis texter???? You’re asking for trouble

Jungkook has no shame, immediately texting you back. He can’t help it, he’s smitten. 

[10:12] Jungkook: taehyung explained everything. It’s all his fault. Don’t ask why, it’s his fault. Im so sorry. 

[10:12] You: mm, it’s okay. Just a misunderstanding. I was pretty upset last night, but i’ve been pretty tired this week so my fuse is short. 

[10:14] Jungkook: you should go to sleep now, doll. We’ll have time together after your cousin leaves

[10:14] You: just a couple more minutes. Miss u and your cute face 

[10:16] Jungkook: 

[10:16] Jungkook: will this hold u off until saturday?

Jungkook is a pile of goo. Pink, warm, happy heart-glittered goo. It takes a minute for you to reply, and for that whole minute Jungkook is kicking his legs under the sheets of his bed like an eager five-year old who just gave his crush his Valentine. Maybe it’s taking you so long to reply because you’re trying to send a selfie of your own, running off to the bathroom to take a cute selfie if your cousin is asleep in bed. 

[10:19] You: fuck, i kno that’s supposed to be a cute selfie, but i want you so bad. I want to sit on your face, let your lips glisten with my pussy as i cum all over that pretty face

[10:19] You: i wanna touch myself so badly but fuckin’ hoseok is out here snoring like he’s gon hack a lung. Panties are so wet 🥺🥺 your doll is needy for you, wanna be played with

[10:20] Jungkook: lfjsdl;fkjs;fjsoisfoisljsdfsdklfjsdklf 

He throws his phone across the bed, feeling himself twitch in his red flannel pyjama bottoms. The thought of you so hot and needy when you’re ten floors down has Jungkook absolutely livid. He doesn’t know how he’s going to talk to you, comfort you without missing you like crazy. 

Jungkook thinks back to what he has in his fridge. His contractor sent him a cheese assortment, maybe he can bring it down pretending to be a friendly neighbor. Maybe Hoseok can go to the convenience store to conveniently grab a bottle of wine. He can make both of you cum in five minutes, flat. 

Akin to a dumb, horny teenager, he sighs. He rubs his palm longingly over his member. He’s horny, but he’s also eager to see your face. Talk to you, get reacquainted with your routine and sneak his way into it. He wants to be a part of your life, and he’s hoping you will too. 

[5:02] You: Jungkook, you left me hanging last night

[5:05] Jungkook: baby doll… i wouldnt have been able to handle myself if we continued

[5:06] You: so you decided to dip :( 

[5:06] You: could u play with your doll a lil bit, kook? Hobi left for another interview

[5:08] You: PNG.0901

Jungkook was a fool to believe that you would drop him like that. No, Jungkook can see now that you two are a match made in heaven. You have a bite, never afraid to speak your mind when needed. This translates to a hunger you shamelessly share with Jungkook, both sexual and romantically intimate. He almost wishes he could’ve seen you act like a bitch to Taehyung last night, he can only imagine how sexy you looked telling him off. 

He has the technology to blow up your picture, the one that’s currently having him close his laptop and shove it to the side. He spreads his legs further across his glass desk, trying to find comfort between his tight pants as he absorbs every bit of your skin. 

It’s nothing too risque, but it’s nothing short of sensual. The room is dark, but it’s very clearly a picture of your hand between your thighs. Again, you’re between your wall and bed, squished between your office chair with your legs spread as far as they can go. Your skin is so soft looking, plush as you press two fingers between your damp panties. Adorable. 

[5:12] Jungkook: you know why i never replied last night? Because i was too busy jacking off to your dirty words doll. U really need your mouth washed

[5:12] You: wanna wash it with something else🍆

[5:12] You: please kook, i need something. Hoseok will come home soon and i might rip his head off. Help prevent a murder

Jungkook chuckles, clutching his phone closer to his body. He loves how much you’re opening up to him. Last week feels like so long ago, how you were all flushed and wide-eyed at the proposition of sex. He thinks you two can have a lot of fun getting to know each other, both emotionally and physically. 

[5:15] Jungkook: i was gonna wait until i sent this, but i think my doll needs it. Here’s what i was doing last night

[5:17] Jungkook: MP4.13

He… has a meeting in five minutes. A very important, very serious meeting. Jungkook jacked off enough last night, now it’s your turn. He hopes you like it. It’s not a very long video, barely a twenty-second clip of him fisting his cock. Taehyung was still home at the time, so he had to keep quiet. However, he couldn’t get the image of you out of his head that night, rubbing your thighs together in a cramped mattress as you try to erase the dirty thoughts of him. A murmur of your name, and the image of his precum dripping down his knuckles. You hope it’s enough. 

[5:34] You: u make everything so much easier💜✨

[5:35] You: MP4.234

Two minutes. The video you send is even shorter than his, barely fifteen seconds. You’re in a much more comfortable position, horizontal on the bed. Your shirt is ridden up to the underside of your breasts, one hand clutching your bare breast so hard he can see your cotton plush skin bulging between your fingers. The other hand has your panties shifted to the side, three fingers in your sopping cunt. 

“Mmh—fuck, f-uck Jungkook—” the words are mere breaths, puffs of air as you reach your orgasm. 

His call connects. He nearly drops his phone on the glass.  

“Jungkook!” Andreas from Germany wishes him brightly, “you look great, glowing even!” 

Jungkook blushes, and mutters something about having to go to the bathroom before they start. 

Taehyung makes himself scarce on Saturday. He packs a duffel bag for himself and takes the PlayStation, knowing it’ll be a long weekend at Jimin’s. 

Jungkook is on livewire for the morning. He even express-delivers a pasta roller to his house, and he spends all morning testing out the perfect pasta dough. His black apron is covered in flour, and he can barely comprehend the tutorial that’s teaching him on his flatscreen. 

He’s on autopilot. He hasn’t contacted you since he sent that selfie, and he doesn’t intend to. Jungkook understands why you made yourself scarce in the beginning of the week, preferring to raincheck and pin your relationship for a better time. Jungkook’s brain is overridden with you, swollen with thoughts of you. You would never be able to focus if you kept in contact like you did last night, especially if you can’t get away from Hoseok. 

Absence surely makes the heart grow fonder. 

Slapping his hands against his trousers, he surveys his handiwork. His pasta is appropriately floured and wrung, each handful of fresh dough wrapped in little nests. Off the stove is a bechamel sauce, a base ready to be cooked in whatever kind of pasta dish you want. He thinks the two of you would have fun making your own non-traditional pasta dishes. 

The soft knocks on his front door interrupts his train of thought, and he knows it’s you. 

You stand in front of the door, impossibly small in a large shirt and a plain pair of leggings. At the sight of Jungkook, a smile as warm and sweet as hot chocolate worms its way to your face, and you collapse into his arms. 

He sighs gratefully, sinking into your small body. When he pulls away, he can’t help but frown at your apparent exhaustion. You must’ve come back from something tedious, because sweat dots your brow and your eyes are still puffy and dark. Your chest arches bonelessly into his, hoping to melt in his embrace. 

“Hi,” you say.

“Hey,” he replies. 

“It’s Saturday.” 

“It is Saturday.” 

You rub your nose between the fabric of his button down, “I should’ve been more specific when I wanted to raincheck on you,” you murmur into the white cotton. 

“No, I’m sorry for jumping to conclusions,” Jungkook whispers, even though you’re the only two people on the floor, “I’ll make it better, yeah? I’m going to love you so good tonight, won’t have to lift a finger—” 

You shake your head, looking at him calmly. “Jungkook, it’s been a long week. Hobi got the job, I spent all this morning moving his two-ton speaker set into his new apartment. I don’t want anything gentle. I want you to rail me into next week,” Jungkook chokes on his saliva when you reach to cup his dick through his pants, already sporting a chub, “fuck me breathless. I want—no, I need this.”

Anything for you, but Jungkook isn’t going to let your mouth runneth over that easily. He wants that too, obviously. But again, you’ve made him wait. 

Bending slightly, Jungkook whispers darkly into your ear, “Who said you can decide the rules here, doll?”  he’s been waiting all week to slip back into this persona, one that has you shivering delightfully under his touch. A small, secret smile tucks itself under your lips as you tilt your head down, but Jungkook catches it. It shows you’ve missed it too. He lets your sneaky smile  slide for now, only because he’s missed you so much and you’ve had a long day. 

“If I wanna fuck you rough, I’ll fuck you rough. If I want to edge you until you're sobbing on the corner of the kitchen table, I’ll do it,” Jungkook spits every declaration into your skin, biting at your shoulder so hard you cry deliciously. 

He drags you over to the living room, and he could sing at how easily you follow directions. Both of you have been tied up this week, and some hard sex would definitely ease that frustration, “Knees,” Jungkook commands, and you waste no time sinking to the floor, hands atop your knees. 

You look up through your lashes, eyes big and glassy. His poor girl is tired, and he finds it all the more attractive that you’re willing to push that aside to make eachother feel good. 

“Pretty, pretty,” he chants, pulling down his pants and letting his dick spring free, “suck.” 

You waste no time, and he watches as your eyes dilate over the expanse of his cock, half-hard and ready for your mouth. Your nails dig into your knees as you start with featherlight kisses, finally turning into sloppy smacks as you lick all over his dick. 

Jungkook groans, weaving a hand into your hair to force his dick down your throat. You gag at the sudden intrusion, but it doesn’t stop you from taking it like a champ. Hard, deep thrusts that he’s sure you can feel all the way in your stomach. You gag at each thrust, but don’t let up as your hot tongue wraps him up and licks at the pre-cum. 

“Fuuuuck, doll,” he rips you away, his now hard dick springing away. He’s a little shaky on his knees, but he plants his feet down as he grips his cock, slapping the tip of it across your cheek. It smears your face, glossing your flushed cheeks in a mixture of your saliva and pre-cum. “Are you trying to make me cum first? So sweet, you don’t even care if you cum tonight, hmm? You owe me, making you believe you had another man.” 

This isn’t true, of course. The both of you know it was just miscommunication, but it doesn’t hurt to play it up for pleasure. 

“N-no Kook, I’m yours,” you grapple at his pants, pulling them down so he can get them off completely. 

“Right. You’re. Mine.” With every punctuated word is a light slap to your cheek, and you take it. His cock bounces right off of you, until you finally move your head to suckle at the engorged tip, “I’m keeping you forever, doll. Don’t you know that?” 

Throughout this whole process, you don’t move, other than the minute clawing at your knees. You’re so good to him. Jungkook pulls away and ignores the ache in his member for now, taking off your clothes for himself. It’s like unwrapping a gift, revealing every bit of skin reserved for his viewing. “So sexy,” he remarks once he’s got you bare, pulling you onto the couch. He’s still in his button down shirt, his date night shirt, sleeves rolled up to the elbow. However, he lets your hands inch under the stiff fabric, feeling for his taut muscle. 

He guides your aching cunt to his cock, sinking you down. It’s a tight fit, and you both moan at the brush of contact. Despite not being prepped, you’re still slick, and it makes up for it. He doesn’t thrust up or anything, just guides his lips to yours with a threadbare brush of his finger. 

“Kook, d-do you want me to move?” you mumble against his cherry-flavored lip balm. 

“Good dolls don’t move until they’re told,” your eyes widen innocently at the statement, and you crumple against his mouth, at his next words, “cum like this.” 

“Awh shit, please no,” you tear up, burying your head between the crook of his neck, “I can’t wait.” 

“Thought you wanted me to fuck you into next week. You can’t do this one little favor for me?” he’s being so mean, and you hate him for it. Haven’t you earned it? “C’mon baby, I thought you wanted me?” 

It’s silent, save for the soft Italian restaurant music playing from whatever tutorial he’s hooked up to his television. It’s terribly cliche, like you’re in the porno version of a European romance movie. He thinks nothing of it, not when your juices are dripping on his thighs, your skin soft and pliant in his grip. Jungkook drums his fingers against your spine, seemingly uncaring that you’re stuffed deep into your womb. 

On the other hand, it’s the only thing you’re acutely aware of. His thick, warm cock is nestled between your folds, right where it should be. You clench once, twice, thankful that this isn’t some crazed wet dream. States of sleep and consciousness have blurred this week, you’re lucky that you made it all the way up to Jungkook’s apartment. 

You can’t cum like this. You need to bait him. You moan, the sound slow and rumbly against your throat as you weave your fingers through his dark tresses. Moving the strands aside to kiss his cold metal earrings you murmur, “I love this, Kookoo. I’ve wanted you all week, I was going crazy. I kept playing last week in my head over and over. I even put in my little vibrator, hoping you’d pull up the app.” 

Jungkook’s teeth clench, and his grip is borderline painful as it digs into your hips. 

“I haven’t been able to cum all week, and I want to do it all over you,” you husk, playing with the roots of his hair. 

You can feel yourself dripping, wetness lubricating you even further and probably staining his thighs and couch with your arousal. Every second that passes is killer, and the fluttering towards your pussy tighten further as Jungkook’s cock twitches in response. Your pussy continues its ministrations, butterfly-like flaps against his hot member that have you vibrating.

“Mm, oh, I’ll cum for you,” and surprisingly, you might be able to. All this dirty talking has gotten you riled up. Just a little bit more and—

Jungkook shoves you off his cock, forcing you to land on the couch. 

“No!” you cry, wiping your face. Your cheeks are ruddied, and you’re annoyed. The coolness of the autumn air has you feeling chilly, and you want to scream at Jungkook for disrupting your orgasm. You feel empty. 

You’re not annoyed for long however, as Jungkook flips you on your back and gives you what you’ve been craving. 

“You glide right in, don’t ya doll,” the friction is deliciously blazing, his hands pushing you further into the large couch as he takes you from behind. Hot, fast smacks against your ass come from the way his balls bounce back and forth as he pistons his cock in and out. “F-fuck, you’re so good to me. So good, I love having you like this. All pretty and dripping, you really know how to make a guy wait, huh?” 

“Mmph! N-no—hng, but I’m y-yours, Kook,” you garble out, and you’re practically eating the throw pillow you’re propped up on as he slams you further into the cushions, so hard you may fall off, “all yours, honey. N-no more waiting. I want you, want you so badly—ah fuck!” 

“It’s worth it, you’re worth it,” he says over and over, his thrusts becoming sporadic and losing their rhythm once he feels you clenching uncontrollably. He presses his two fingers to your sloppy bud, swirling around the juices eagerly. “C-cum, baby doll. You deserve it, yeah? Cum on this cock, let go.” 

You’re starting to see spots, black and white alike. Finally shying away from his cock you rest on your back, but Jungkook doesn’t stop his fingers from flying across your clit. One look at his face and you’re gone. Pretty brown eyes, overflowing with affection. The feeling is different, and it’s the acute pressure between your stomach and pussy that makes you notice what’s going on with your body. The pressure finally releases, your eyes fluttering shut as you rest your cheek on the cushions. You dissolve, a mess on the couch as white hot liquid ejects from your body, spraying Jungkook’s thighs and cushions. 

“Y-you just,” your lover’s mouth is parted open like a baby kitten, uncaring as to how the dark liquid stains his couch fabric. 

“Squirted?” you answer breathlessly, a melty smile on your lips, “y-yeah.” 

 It sets him off, a button left dormant until now. The thatches of hair that surround his cock are dripping with your mess, a cold reminder that he got you to this high. He doesn’t hesitate to slip his cock back into you, and you gasp at the overstimulation. You try not to focus on how your body is a bundle of lit nerves, only to help Jungkook reach his completion. 

“S-so perfect,” he warbles, pressing kisses to your jaw, chin, lips. Each thrust is deep, thick and heady with emotion. “Mm, I wanna cream this pussy sooo badly—mm, all mine, all wet and warm and so so sweet—” 

He cries out your name, biting into your shoulder as your walls fill further with his hot cream. Your thighs are shaking from sensory overload, and Jungkook has to hold you down and soothe you into a state of reality to cling on. 

Satiated, he nuzzles into your chest, feeling absolutely featherlight. 

“T-thank you,” you say gratefully, when at least three out of your five senses return to your body. Your hands dip down to clutch his cheek, pinching lightly at the warm skin.

“Don’t thank me yet,” Jungkook exhales into your breasts, “d-didn’t even feed you my cum yet.” 

You scoff, pinching his cheek again. You’re aware of his softening cock between your folds, ready to seep the efforts of today’s coupling, but your stomach says otherwise. You crane your neck to make note of the kitchen island, staring curiously at the metal pasta roller and the little nests of carby goodness that decorate the cutting board. 

“Feed me pasta first, please. You have all night to feed me dessert.” 

Jungkook giggles into your stomach, he doesn’t mind feeding you in that order. 

bonus.

“So.” 

“So?” you have cream sauce on your lips, happily slurping on an angel hair. 

“You haven’t told me you liked me back yet,” Jungkook rests his palm in the swell of his cheek, content with watching you eat from where he’s standing on the counter. He leans his upper body across the marble table, muscles rippling against his white shirt. 

“Oh, I did!” you’re affronted, swinging your legs on the high chair, “I totally did last week!” 

“Yeah, well. Can you say it while I’m not inside you?” 

“Okay,” you blink, quirking him with a simple smile, “I like you.” 

“That was anticlimactic,” Jungkook jokes at the brevity of your confession, yet his heart betrays the charm he finds in the three words. 

You scoff, jabbing your fork in the little next of springy noodles. “What do you want to hear? I’ve wanted you since I’ve moved in? I think you’re really handsome when you pace the hallway doing work on your phone? I like the way you cook?” 

“Keep going,” Jungkook sing songs, walking over to hug you from behind.

The stool swings back and forth as he rocks the two of you, softly and slowly so you don’t throw up your dinner. He noses into your neck, inhaling your scent and committing it to your memory. 

“Mm, dessert first,” you insist, twirling around the stool so you can wrap your legs around his waist. “And then I can tell you exactly how much I like you,” your fingers play with the buttons of his shirt, walking the pads of your fingers across his chest. 

Jungkook grins, hands reaching to cup your bottom and bring you to his bedroom. Of course, he’s always willing to satisfy your insatiable appetite. 

#jungkook smut #jungkook x reader #btsguild #btswritingcafe #btsghostie #kwritersworldnet #jungkook fic #bts smut #bts fic

[chimmyrockbison]

MASTERLIST Updated 03/20/2021

COMPLETED AO3 FICS [Kim Taehyung/Park Jimin]

1. The Sound of Your Heart

Summary: There was something so easy about it, it was almost scary. Taehyung didn’t want to feel this way, didn’t want to feel this overwhelming fondness; but not unlike his head, his heart was hard to persuade once it had decided a path. And Taehyung was scared that it had decided on the mute new boy with pretty features and a warm smile.

Words: 144,014

2. All the King's Men

Summary: Castle servants Jimin and Taehyung find themselves involved in a game with the Crown Prince.

Words: 52,531

3. golden haze

Summary: Taehyung watches Jimin’s mouth twist into a pout, forming the word ‘fucking’ with his thick lips before he’s whipping out his translation device again. Taehyung doesn’t have time to stop him when various pornographic images pop up on his holographic screen, Jimin’s eyes widening with intrigue, his mouth falling open at the suggestive images in front of him.

(or: lonely college student taehyung harbors an alien fugitive in his apartment. nothing goes as planned.)

Words: 34,850

4. Drag'on Together (Love Is Its Own Magic)

Summary: “I swear to God, Taehyung if you stop to pick up one more rock because you think it might be some sort of rare stone, I’m leaving you here,” Jimin huffs as he tries to sound intimidating.

“Jiminnie, we both know you wouldn’t survive a minute without me, so stop with the empty threats, okay?” Taehyung replies, happily ignoring his dark-haired friend.

Jimin would argue, he would, if it wasn’t for the fact that Taehyung was right.

or

The time Taehyung and Jimin finds a blue rock and it turns out to be so much more.

Words: 30,554

5. even the weariest river

Summary: It's moments like this that make Taehyung panic. The open derision on each courtier's face, the scorn of his brother as he turns from his prey. The slit of Park Jimin's eyes, just barely open and dark and hateful, as Taehyung swallows and squares his shoulders and says—

"I want to claim him."

The tides of war change, and sweep Taehyung and Jimin along with them.

Words: 152,979

6. i fell in love with the pizza delivery guy (and then i blew him in the bathroom)

Summary: Send your best delivery guy. Preferably cute, preferably packing.

“You're the one who ordered me,” Taehyung says. Not exactly a question; more of a statement.

“Well, I ordered pizza; you just happen to be a delightful bonus,” Jimin clarifies, lips drawn up in a smirk that sets Taehuyung’s blood on fire in a most delectable way. “Although, had I known a pretty face like yours was working there...maybe I would have been more specific with my instructions. At least I know for next time.”

(or, Jimin orders pizza and a little something extra, and Taehyung delivers without really knowing what he's signing up for)

Words: 18,438

7. Grand Jeté

Summary: Refusing to spend another night alone, Taehyung surprises his perfectionist of a boyfriend Jimin at his dance studio with the intent of dragging him home. But their pent-up emotions from spending time apart has the visit ending with a lot of kissing and a little experimenting.

Words: 8,200

8. Already Midnight

Summary: On New Year's Eve, Taehyung is drunk. So drunk that he doesn't recognize Jimin as his boyfriend. When Jimin kisses him at midnight, Taehyung threatens to call his man- aka Jimin.

Words: 3,951

9. Worth The Risk

Summary: The rules are simple: no kissing on the lips, no petnames, no cuddling after sex, no sleepovers, no labels, and no catching feelings.

It should be simple. In fact, it would be simple, if it weren’t for one tiny thing...Taehyung is pretty sure he’s in love with Jimin. And that’s absolutely against the rules.

Words: 23,645

10. Common Ground

Summary: Taehyung is rich, a little bit bratty, a lot a bit spoiled, and failing calculus. Jimin works full time, tutors, and is a straight-A student. There's a rulebook somewhere that states very clearly that people like Jimin should never associate with people like Taehyung. But rules are meant to be broken. And opposites always, always attract.

Words: 44,136

11. This is not a dream

Summary: He would think they were ships in the night if not for the fact that every night, Jimin lays his head in Taehyung’s lap and Taehyung runs fingers without nerve endings through his hair. If they didn't have this false, teasing closeness long enough to learn every detail of each other's lives, long enough that Jimin is the person Taehyung spends the most time with by a mile.

(Jimin leaves. Two months later, he falls in love with Taehyung.)

Words: 12,370

12. Shooting Stars and Silver Moons

Summary: Yoongi and Jimin make a bet, Taehyung makes bad decisions.

(Or: "I'm kind of pissed you didn't choose me to fake date, I'm your best friend")

Words: 20,206

13. the whole world is blue

Summary: Taehyung is not going to confess. That kind of thing never ends well. The movies are wrong. It doesn't always turn out to be mutual. Real life isn't so romantic like that.

Words: 10,829

14. Swipe Right

Summary: As a best friend, Jimin will do anything for Taehyung. This includes being his fake boyfriend to ward off the unwanted attention Taehyung is receiving after using a dating app and agreeing to meet someone.

Words: 26,085

15. Define Me in Terms of You

Summary: This is either Taehyung's greatest idea, or his worst.

“So, let me get this straight. You want me to teach you how to play guitar, join a fake band and enter a competition just so that you can impress a guy you like?"

Words: 9,808

16. i just adore you asking for more

Summary: Taehyung is a successful model looking for a discreet release. Jimin is a professional dom who won’t judge his browsing history.

Words: 90,201

17. Sirius

Summary: "Dude, our entire relationship could be an Ed Sheeran album."

Words: 16,955

18. it's your heart i wanna live (& sleep) in

Summary: The first time Jimin sleeps over at Taehyung's, it's an emergency. The other times after? That's a different story.

Words: 22,658

19. kissing up on fences (and up on walls, i don't want to fall)

Summary: They’ve always been close, Taehyung and Jimin. Where one went, it would be rare to see them without the other. This is a fact Namjoon knows better than most, having coexisted with them in close quarters for such a long time.

Namjoon had not, however, for all his proclaimed wisdom and prudence, had the foresight to see that they’d become this close.

(or: the five times the other members thought they were dating, and the one time jimin starts to wonder if they really are)

Words: 8,738

20. The Usual

Summary: Alternatively titled: The Regular

Jimin will date anyone, except for boys who serve coffee.

Words: 27,935

21. i'm so sorry but it's fake love (tbh, not really)

Summary: when chaebol/commitment anti-fan park jimin learns he's being married off, he does the smartest thing in the world: hire a fake boyfriend he found on the internet (aka Craigslist's personal ads)

all he needs is just three months with said fake boyfriend to convince his parents to leave him alone. after that, he'll get back to his regular programming.

except, not really.

Words: 209,565

22. Gravity//Oxygen

Summary: He already lost his parents.

He'll be damned if he loses Jimin's smile too.

We stay together.

Always.

Taehyung is out for revenge. And he'll do anything to get it.

Words: 180,321

23. A Screenshot of Youth

Summary: There’s a sharp intake of breath, Taehyung’s grip tightening over Jimin’s with a gentle squeeze. “Jimin,” his voice is serious, and Jimin watches him, strangely endeared. “Let’s be friends.”

And it’s like this, that they begin as friends in the heat of a sweltering summer, twelve years old and too young to think much of it, hands twined together under the blanket of a setting sun.

(In which Jimin and Taehyung grow up together.)

Words: 18,496

24. i'll take the desert, you take the coast

Summary: “Everyone I know is a candlestick nearing its demise. They’re afraid of bringing meaning into their lives, of cultivating that glow. But you, prince Park Jimin, you are different. You glow with the passion of more than a thousand suns.”

Words: 30,973

25. just to get a taste

Summary: The one where Jeongguk dares Jimin and Taehyung to kiss and it unravels a lot of feelings. But mostly more kisses.

Or the one where Jimin's heart is stupid and Jimin's best friend is actually irresistible. Who'd've thunk, huh?

Words: 24,375

26. tell them it's the end

Summary: Five months after Taehyung suddenly walked out on him, Jimin finds out that Taehyung has yet to inform his family, who absolutely loved Jimin, about their split.

Jimin tries to swallow his feelings as he once again “dates” Taehyung.

Words: 13,802

27. stay with you

Summary: Taehyung wondered why he always see this blonde man, getting wasted every night. Its such a shame seeing his pretty face wasting every single night of his life in this bar.

Until he saw his eyes, and he understood why.

(Or Jimin is broken and he wanted his happiness back.)

Words: 12,875

28. ring the changes

Summary: That's the nature of one-sided confessions. Things change.

Words: 45,248

29. summer, winter, spring (i'm falling for you)

Summary: The school starts to take notice of Jimin.

Taehyung has always noticed.

Words: 41,786

30. Make Me-al

Summary: In which Jimin starts to work at Jin's restaurant and there he meets Taehyung, the new rookie waiter that kinda gets him off his nerves (the feeling is mutual). Yet, the tension between them is hotter than the ovens from the kitchen...

Words: 26,886

31. such stuff as dreams are made on

Summary: "sir no one, may i have this dance?"

or: kim taehyung, a kitchen boy, sneaks into a royal masquerade. park jimin is the prince he never expected.

Words: 38,753

#ao3fic #bangtan #bts #bts fic #jimin #taehyung #vmin #vmin fic #vmin au

[wcamino-confessions]

Hey uh

Its basil. Some of you know me as m*tt. Please do not call me that, that name makes me uncomfortable. I'm here to do something that is long overdue, and for good reason. I wanted to make sure I was in the right state to apologize. By that I mean, that I have completely distanced myself from the pr*ship crowd and have become a better person. Also Tumblr is my trigger app so,,,

I don't expect forgiveness, and I do not need it, I just want to apologize to the people I might have hurt.

Alright, let's get to where this all started.

I'm not good with dates, and I do not have screenshots, so I am not good with the exact dates. The screen shots are out there somewhere though, and you can gladly take a look. I will link it if I find them.

Ok. So... God, this is hard to talk about.

Back in October 2020 something really shitty happened. It's extremely personal, and I would rather not talk about my issues jn too much details. All you really need to know is that i left this situation having nearly non stop panic attacks for 4 months. My mental Health was rapidly declining, and it caused me to spiral in to using many unhealthy coping mechanisms.

I was in a horrible place in my life. I had undiagnosed BPD, and I didn't know what the fuck was wrong with me. I just knew that I would do anything to stop it.

Enter late December, one of my second worst months. I started my first account, strawberry.pannacotta on Twitter. I would post tame content, mainly rambles and such. In that time I slowly dipped my toes in to the idea of proshipping, my friends were adamant that it was the best thing in the damn world, and that it was a good thing.

Little did I know they were very wrong.

Later that September I made the first of many posts that I may be known for. In that post I was venting out my frustration, since earlier that day I saw a 12 year old ask to sext 14-17 year olds on a confession account. I was scared and worried that someone would hurt the kid, and it translated in to rage, since ei had no better emotion to vent with.

I said a lot of things, but they are un important, since its simply rambling. What is important is that I said "someone should doxx this kid". In hindsight that was a shitty thing to say, but in the last bit of my post I wrote that the reason I wanted them to get doxxed was so someone could tell their parents what they are doing. Once again, this is no excuse, what I said was bad and has extremely harsh legal consequences. Doxxing is NOT a joke.

After that I wrote multiple posts about a suggestive NSFW incestuous relationship between a minor and multiple adults. I don't remember what I said, but I do remember it was explicit.

That was all I really had from the strawberry.pannacotta account. Most of the awful shit is from my kurapicatboy account.

The first disgusting post I made was a post of an underage anime boy being chased by a large dog. I forgot what I put as the caption, but I do know that it was hinting at possible beastiality. At the time my only friends were pro ship, and I had been manipulated in to believing that what I was doing was curing my trauma. It "worked' with my other trauma. Why not go the extra mile?

After that I made multiple posts about "lewding" qiqi from genshin impact. But that wasn't the worst part.

The worst post I made was me saying that "grooming is hot"

That is the post that made me rethink everything.

I was anxious, many of these posts were made during panic attacks. I was an unmedicated and undiagnosed person with BPD. I was also a people pleaser, who wanted to be praised and acknowledged by whatever group I had inserted myself in at the time.

I was extremely easily manipulatable, and my friends took advantage of that. They further encouraged me to keep making these posts, that doing these disgusting things were right, and that everyone else is in the wrong.

I am so sorry.

I'm sorry that I made all of these posts.

Km sorry that you all had to see this, See me in my worst state, see my extremely triggering posts.

I'm sorry for everything.

No, I don't want to come back to warriors amino. I'm done with warrior cats, and I'm satisfied with the accomplishments I have made in the past 5 years.

I just want to apologize to everyone I hurt, and every person I could have possibly triggered with the content I had posted.

The apology is long overdue, but I wanted to make sure that I was truthful with all of you when I made it.

I'm on medication, and approved for more frequent therapy sessions. I do not use social media other than TikTok, and even then I am a completely different person.

I am antiship, and asexual. I have been through a lot of things in the past 6 months, and I'm slowly recovering, but I can assure you all I am away from that awful crowd, and have surrounded myself in truly amazing people who have been so much less toxic to me.

Even if I am off of warriors amino, I am still working on my game dev projects. I have moved on from warriors, and have decided to become independent from any Fandom. I'm happy with where I am. I'm happy that I'm in a well enough mindset to make this and post it, and I'm happy to inform you all that u am doing better.

I NEVER condoned the harm of real children or animals. Yes, my posts were disgusting and harmful, yet I was convinced my content wasn't harmful since it was purely fiction. It was never my intent to harm. As a survivor of csa I will never put another child in danger.

If you have listened this far, thank you. I hope you have a great day.

#submission #tw rape #tw grooming #tw animal abuse ment #tw grooming ment #tw rape ment

[burnedbyshoto]

mamihlapinatapei

— mamihlapinatapei: wordless yet meaningful look shared by two people who desire to initiate something, but are both reluctant to start. —

⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆

pairing: todoroki natsuo x fem!reader

warnings: 18+, smut, daddy kink, praise, choking, cockwarming, orgasm denial

word count: 8,903

a/n: a commission for @redbeanteax​, sorry it took so long. my back is in so much pain and good god did i feel like i was cheating on shouto when writing this. i hope you enjoy it!!!!

message me to join my taglist!

⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆

Soulmates were an old concept.

It was this phenomenon that had first occurred so many years ago. It was a miracle that allowed the two perfect halves come together. 

In its initial introduction, divorce rates and plummeted to all-time lows! For an entire generation, divorce rates were at an all-time low of zero. No one in the world were getting divorces, choosing to stay with the person that was deemed worthy of them. It seemed for some time that people were going to fall in love with their soulmates and find happiness and prosperity for them.

That is until soulmates crossed borders, seas, racial tensions, economic differences, and sexual preferences…

The rich stopped trying to bring someone in for a rag to riches effect, choosing to instead marry within their own class circle, choosing wealth over love. International soulmates couldn’t figure out a common language, they’d sit in front of each other with lousy translator apps, unable to talk freely and openly, and soon their relationship was destroyed. Racial tensions were especially hard. There were reports of soulmates waking back up into their bodies to find their home destroyed and family hurt because their soulmate could not stand the thought -- the idea -- of the race of their soulmate. There were still homophobic people in this world of soulmates who could not accept their sexuality when presented to their soulmate who was the same gender and would not leave any means of contact behind.

Soulmates, while excellent and loving when it is something within your reach, turned out to be a pretty fucked up thing.

But nevertheless, it didn’t stop you from ever hoping that whoever your soulmate was, it would be someone who would love you precisely who you are, no matter who they were.

Your tired eyes focused on your paper, your eyes scanning the different lines that glowed on your computer screen, trying to find a better way to propose your thoughts. There wasn’t much to this paper, it was a reasonably simple paper about the pros and cons of soulmates for your anthro and philosophy class. Since you were little, you revered in the concept of soulmates, your excitement to be in love with someone for the rest of your life was a pretty solid thing, even at a young age.

As you grew older, you held onto this idea, choosing to ignore the issues with soulmates in favor of optimism and positivity. There were still many, many happy and in love, soulmates! After all, there was still an 87% rate for soulmates marrying each other, the opposing 13% came from the worst of people, the most disadvantaged of people, and the most influential people. It’s how it was.

For a college student in Japan, you figured that you had a solid chance of having a soulmate that you could love and have their love in return. But your issue was the mystery behind it, the unknowing of it all. While you knew that soulmates did mean pure love, there was a part of you that hoped that there this someone out there was someone you already knew.

Well, there was one person in particular.

“I’ll proofread your paper if you look at mine,” a tired voice croaked from hours of not being used.

Your eyes felt dry, and you glanced up at the white-haired boy who was the holder of your affections for about two years now. 

Todoroki Natsuo.

“Only if you don’t make fun of mine, I’m so bad at this philosophical bullshit,” you groan, rubbing your face. You heard Natsuo snort, his arms stretched above his head, and your eyes dropped back down onto your screen, not wanting to be staring at him. 

“Oh please, I’m sure I’ll feel leagues smarter by the time I finish reading it,” he grinned, and you felt yourself looking back at the white-haired man who was pushing his laptop towards you.

“You’re annoying,” you sigh, but there’s an undeniable smile on your face when you hand over your own device.

“Sure, sure.”

What was there to say about him?

You had met him two years ago during freshmen orientation, he was in your introduction group, and coincidentally in the same classes as you. The two of you ended up getting fairly close over the first semester of college, and by the end of your spring semester, you realized in horror that you had a crush on him.

These feelings weren’t bad, he was a respectful and caring boyfriend, that was something you knew without a doubt. Of course, knowing that he is that, and not hypothetically assuming it meant that he had a girlfriend. Yes, Todoroki Natsuo was a taken man.

You’d never really met his girlfriend. You knew who she was, how she looked like, her favorite things in the world, and her least favorite things, that’s how much Natuso talked about her. You had the pleasure of meeting her once, and the only thing you could remember is that she had mouse ears and the personality of a mouse. Scared, timid, and squeaky.

She barely talked to you, and after the initial meeting would never join Natsuo and you anywhere.

You didn’t take it personally, you wouldn’t really want to hang out with her either, especially with how you felt about Natsuo. It was a conflict of pretending that you and Natsuo were falling in love, ignoring the impeding time you had to be with him, and of course, the guilt that coursed through your body whenever you rested your head against his shoulder during these late-night studies. 

In two weeks, it was July 2.

Somehow on this day, you would swap bodies with your soulmate when you fell asleep, and when you woke up, you had five minutes to figure out how to get them to reconnect with you. Most people left their phones unlocked that day, letting their soulmates leave their phone numbers in their phone, sometimes they’d leave their address, and Instagram and Twitter handle. After so many generations of soulmates experiencing this, and the ever-evolving technology, this was the way that people effectively found their soulmates once the five minutes were up.

But unlike what people had once assumed, there was no exact age as to when you would swap bodies. Some people were lucky to swap bodies at the age of sixteen, and the oldest recorded case was when someone was twenty-four. You were nineteen, as was Natsuo, neither one of you had this soulmate experience yet, but unlike before, you had a strong feeling that this was your year.

“It looks great,” Natsuo whistled lowly, his head shaking while giving back your laptop. 

You felt your face grow warm at the praise, your fingers highlighting another sentence for him to correct, “Thanks.”

“What you thinking about mine?”

You sighed, pushing away from the table so that you were looking into his grey eyes that looked at you with curiosity and high respect. 

“I’m a bit confused about your position,” you admitted, your fingers brushing back your hair so that you could look at the man whose lips pursed in thought. “You’re saying that soulmates are bullshit, but you believe it regardless?”

Natsuo nods his head, an embarrassed blush stretching across his face, “Well yeah, they kinda are. How is some cosmic thing the thing in charge of telling me about who I am to truly love?”

“So when you find out who your soulmate is, you won’t love them, but you’ll stay with them?”

“Yes? I don’t know… I know that my parents aren’t soulmates, and that didn’t work out. It’s hard for me to explain, but I really like Mausua, and I want to see how far things can go with her,” Natuso explains his thoughts to you, that stupid grin spreading on his face that always appeared whenever he talked about her. “I mean for years people didn’t marry their exact soulmates, but they were happy and in love for ages. Why can’t I try that out?”

You tried to hide the fact that those words hurt you. It shouldn’t have mattered, after all, there was no saying that the two of you were soulmates, and the probability of that happening was entirely slim to none. 

“Yeah, why not?”

⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆

June 30 - one-week left

⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆

You were slumped on top of the table, your head banging against the cool wood while Natsuo recited his notes to you. The both of you were in the middle of some argument that had tailed off in fifty different directions, neither one of you admitting defeat.

“Natsuo, I don’t give a flying fuck if that’s what the notes say!” you yell, throwing your eraser at his head, an act that he easily evaded while continuing to read off his notes. “You don’t give the baby the torch flame!”

“You’re not even listening to what I’m saying,” Natsuo insists with a laugh, his notebook coming to hit your back slightly. “If you give the baby the flame, they’ll be unbeatable!”

If you could roll your eyes any harder than they did now, you were sure you would manage to see your brain, but instead, you shifted on the table so that you were facing Natsuo, and you stuck out your tongue.

“Put your tongue back in your mouth before I pinch it.”

“Sowwy, I donth understhand,” you retorted your nose, turning up towards the ceiling.

Natsuo’s hands grabbed your wrists, and you shrieked, immediately trying to fight him off while he dragged you towards him. Screams and laughter filled the air until Natsuo accidentally pulled you off the table. So there you two sat, on the floor of the study room, in hysterics.

Your hands clutched your sides, breathing failing you while your ass stung slightly from the pain of falling. Natsuo’s face was red, his feet slamming against the floor periodically enough that you almost assumed that he was going to pee himself. 

“Just go to your stupid date already,” you groaned once your laughter subsided, your eyes resting on Natsuo, who was now laying on the floor exhausted. “You’re going to be late!”

Every Saturday after you and Natsuo were done studying, he would have a date night with Mausua. It was something he never missed, something he always made sure they did, even when his nose was dripping with snot, and he had the worst migraine. It’s just how he was.

Natsuo paused, his eyes looking at you with a shine of pain, and you sat up despite the soreness of your stomach. There was something wrong.

“She broke up with me,” Natuso admitted with a stiff smile, his shoulders shrugging. “Last night, she had this feeling that this was her year to find her soulmate, and well, I don’t know…”

His hand dragged across his face, and your eyebrows scrunched together. Scooting closer to him, you sat shoulder to shoulder with him before you nudged him with the back of your hand, “You feeling okay?”

“Yeah, actually I am,” Natsuo responded despite the wry smile on his face, “I mean, it sucks, but what can I do about it?”

“Cry, scream, we can go buy cats and put them by her front door,” you began listing off a bunch of different things, most ideas being straight near criminal, but it made Natsuo laugh.

“Remind me to never mess with you,” Natsuo shoves you with his shoulder. The force of that alone nearly sends you flying, but you merely grunt in response. “But, I’m fine.”

“You sure?” you ask, obviously unconvinced.

“Yeah,” he nods, “I will take a hug if you don’t believe me.”

Rolling your eyes, you stood up, stretching out a hand you helped Natsuo to his feet, and without a second thought, you wrapped him into a hug. Your body feels just a bit warm when he held you close. 

“I’ll show up at her door with a cat and a baby with a blowtorch, just say the word.”

“Stop, you menace.”

“Shut up, you know you love me.”

“Have I ever denied that before?”

“Yes.”

“True.”

⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆

July 1 - one day left

⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!” You screamed, shoving a birthday present into Natsuo’s face the moment he opened the door. 

Natsuo graciously accepted the present, his face brightening with a smile while he thanked you for the gift. “I thought I said I didn’t need anything.”

You shrugged, walking into the house and taking off your shoes, “That’s what you thought, but I am far wiser and know exactly what you need!”

Natsuo snorts, closing the door behind you, and the two of you make light chatter while walking into the house. It had been a while since you came to his house. The last time you had been around, he was still living under the same roof with his dad, but this one was without him. The house had a different energy to it, one that was nothing similar to that of the old house. It was comforting and warm, despite the coldness the family preferred.

Today was Natsuo’s birthday, and he had invited you over for his birthday dinner with his family, something that he didn’t do last year with you. Thankfully you had met most of his family, his sister Fuyumi was an obvious one, and you also had the chance of meeting Rei the other month while running into the mother and son at a tea shop one day. You also had sort of met his baby brother Shouto, who you only really knew because of the U.A. Sports Festival.

Dinner was lovely, the four Todoroki’s, and you enjoyed a bunch of sashimi while talking. The family dynamic was also bizarre for you to experience. Fuyumi was obviously used to being the conversationalist. She was very talkative and inquisitive during the entire night. Shouto was trying his hardest to -- in the most helpful way possible -- act normal. He was stiff but a good conversationalist if you overlooked the often weird phrases he had to say. Rei seemed to be the mediator, trying her best to enjoy the situation but also getting involved within these sibling discussions. And of course, there was Natsuo, who for the first time since you’ve met him was being quite the Drama Queen. 

It was endearing to watch Natsuo quarrel with his sister and brother over matters that seemed so trivial and pointless. They were all very strongwilled, it seemed.

“How about you, y/n-chan,” Rei smiled at you, interrupting the ridiculous argument between Shouto and Natsuo about how Natsuo wasn’t going to wake up in someone else’s body the next morning. “Are you expecting to wake up in your soulmate’s body?”

You smiled stiffly, the searing gaze of the two Todoroki brothers burning into your body while you stared at Rei, was this family always this intense?

“Well, I haven’t yet,” you laugh, brushing your hair to the side, “I would definitely like to, but there’s no saying.”

Shouto seemed to sigh, his finger pointing at you, then motioning over to Natsuo, “But is Natsuo going to wake up knowing his soulmate?”

“Shouto!”

Dinner ended with a scoop of ice cream, and you listened in horror and fascination. At the same time, Shouto explained to his family about the insane adventures he’d had at U.A. After helping with cleaning up and thanking the family for dinner, you ended up following Natsuo into his room.

It took no time for you to fall onto his futon, your arms spread out on his bed while Natsuo grabbed your present for him.

“I wonder what this is,” he sang, plopping down next to you.

You immediately sat back up, a grin on your face due to the excitement that flooded your veins, knowing that this was a pretty damn good present. 

“Obviously, it’s a photo album of me,” you teased, and he seemed to agree that it was that while he unwrapped it.

From the bag, he pulled out a hoodie that he had been raving about for months now. He had never bought it because he sucked at saving up money for this exclusive hoodie. It was a navy blue sweatshirt that had English print all over it, you couldn’t read what it said as you didn’t learn English while in high school, but it was supposed to be pretty cool.

“Y/n,” Natsuo breathed slowly, his eyes wide and round, his fingers barely touching the fabric. It was as if he felt the material too much it was stain with his fingertips or complete disintegrates within his touch. “How did you? It was sold out, I checked!”

“You told me about how much you wanted this months ago. It was too late for Christmas, so I bought it in advance for your birthday,” you explained with a grin. Warmth flooded your chest while you watched his starstruck expression, and you only felt your heart beat faster when he turned his attention onto you. So you smiled, even more, your eyes closing in your mirth, “Happy birthday, Natsuo!”

You expected him to hug you, to bring you in close and tell you how grateful he was for this gift -- if that much. But when his fingers touched your cheeks, your eyes flew open to see his gaze focused on your lips.

“Can I kiss you?”

There was nothing you could say, your words failing you entirely because this is what you had wanted for years. Tonight was going to be life-changing for you -- whether it was a pleasant change or an adverse change, you had no idea. You’d wanted this for too long to deny him a just a kiss, right?

Your heart is hammering so loudly you swear he can hear it, and with a shaky placement of your hands on his wrist, you seal the space left between the two of you.

While you had never officially dated anyone before, you’ve definitely kissed other people before Natsuo. Most of the other kisses you had were -- quite frankly -- unideal. Stiff and cold lips, rigid bodies, too much saliva pouring from their mouths, disgust soaking your spine, and awkward hand roaming. But this? This was more than anything you could have ever hoped for.

His lips were gentle against yours. A soft rose petal that warmed you from the inside out, a flexible coax that reminded you that despite your ideals, this is what you wanted most. Your head tilted to the side, allowing your meeting lips to connect further, your bodies coming together in yet a bigger and more powerful wave. 

But as the sensations that riled your blood and nerves, the actions the two of you grew bolder, riskier, much more passionate.

His fingers released your chin, moving to grip onto your waist, pulling you in. You gasped against his lips, the demanding actions catching you off guard. Your hands pressed onto his chest, your legs shifting so that you were now straddling the larger boy, and you swore you could see stars the second his tongue skimmed your bottom lip.

Closer.

Better.

Wistful.

Your back arched, your chest meeting his when his tongue traced the roof of your mouth, and your hips involuntarily ground against his nearly trembling thighs. He hissed, barely loud enough for you to hear, but his cold fingers slid under your shirt, and you shuddered.

There was no time to react, you felt your body being flipped, and Natsuo was on top of you, his hips grinding into you emphatically, continuously, and unrelentingly. Your hips met his with every movement, your legs wrapped tightly against his waist, trying your best to get him to lose his train of thought with every roll of your hips. The growing bulge in his pants was only a clear indictment to what you were doing to him. Of what was to come of this night. Your head fell back, your jaw-dropping, while you made choking noises, refusing to let such a loud audible noise escape your mouth. But it seemed that Natsuo wanted to hear you moan, to feel you squirm against his hold.

This was making your body explode with sensations you didn’t think was possible from someone who wasn’t your soulmate. 

Natsuo’s lips pressed down your neck to your chest, your mind swam with the word soulmate, and your tongue was drenched with his name.

Soulmate.

Tonight was the night you were going to find out.

“I’ve been in love with you for so long,” Natsuo groaned, his tongue leaving wet stripes against your chest, and with the feeling of his fingers tweaking at your nipples through your shirt, you panicked.

“Get off me!” you squeaked, your hands shoving at his shoulders, your legs unwrapping around him.

“What’s wrong?!” Natsuo panics, his hands checking up and down his wrinkled clothes, his body on edge and filled with worry. “Did I do something wrong?!”

“I can’t do this!” you pant, your body feeling itchy at your conflicting emotions. You could do this, you knew that. It would take nothing for you to spend the night with one Todoroki Natsuo, but not on this night, not when you were so sure that you would figure out who your soulmate is. Not if they would wake up in your body with a naked man beside them. No, you couldn’t do that. “Tonight is the special night… and I can’t… we can’t! Not when there’s a possibility that someone is waiting for me!”

Natsuo’s eyebrows furrow, his face setting into an icy frown. There was a clear understanding on his face, emotions that let you know that while he was very disappointed, he understood.

“I’m sorry,” you whisper, your gaze no longer able to reach his.

“It’s okay,” he smiles weakly, but his voice is distant and terse. “I’ll see you out…”

⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆

Your eyes focused on the ceiling of your bedroom.

Even though it was three hours since you’ve left the Todoroki residence, your heart was still unfairly beating at the thought of Natsuo kissing you, and the implications of what the both of you wanted to do but hadn’t mustered the courage to do. 

You thought about the fact that he had just broken up with his girlfriend seven days ago, maybe he was projecting his no longer met hormones on you? There was no way your best friend was in love with you and chose not to say anything about it until now. But then again, because he was in a relationship, that confession would have been a dick move. But if he did love you, and not her, why would he have stayed with her?

You’re not really sure when you managed to pass out, considering that you had been tossing and turning for literal hours. But soon, you drifted off to sleep, with nothing but a prayer that when you woke up that you would be in someone else’s body. 

Your eyes opened when a crack of sunlight hit your face, and you slammed a hand against your face. But your hand came down heavier against your face, and you groaned in pain. But it wasn’t your voice…

Shooting up from your bed, your eyes searched the room around you. It wasn’t yours, you knew that much. But there was something familiar about the color of the walls and the furniture of the room. Rushing to your feet, you saw a mirror and looked into it. 

You were met with grey eyes, gentle, kind, and familiar grey eyes. Your fingers traced the pale skin and felt the white hair on your head.

What were the chances?

Todoroki Natsuo was your soulmate.

A smile spread across your face, an unbelievably gracious joy filling you up. But then Natsuo’s phone began to ring, and you picked it up to see your contact picture showing. It was a rather good picture of you and him, a memory from club rush during your first semester of college. On the top were your first name and a pure heart emoji.

Grinning much broader, you picked up the call, placing the phone to your ear, you spoke.

“Hello?”

“What were the chances?” you heard your voice respond back to you, and it took everything not to giggle lunatically within Natsuo’s body.

“I’d say less than zero.”

“Yet here we are,” he teased you, and you went to push back nonexistent hair behind your ear. Dropping your hand to the dresser, you shake your head.

“Are you disappointed?” you couldn’t help but ask, your worries about you being a distraction for him still hot on your mind.

“Definitely not,” he spoke softly, “I know what you’re thinking, y/n. That you were nothing but a distraction from Mausua, or how when I blurted my feelings, they were too in the moment. I should have broken up with her ages ago, but I don’t know. You just didn’t seem attainable to me.”

“You’re an idiot for thinking that, Todoroki,” you sniff, tears welling in your eyes.

“Hey, now,” he reprimanded you, but the teasing was still heavy in his tone, “it’s Todoroki-san to you.”

A smile grew on your face, and you scoffed playfully, “Todoroki-san? I’d much rather call you daddy.”

Now you knew what noises you made, you were nineteen, nearly twenty with a few sexual experiences yourself. Now the sound that escaped Natsuo’s voice was one of approval, and heat spread through your body.

“We have less than a minute,” Natsuo spoke as lowly as your voice could go, and it sent goosebumps down your spine, “I’ll meet you at your place. Are your roommates here?”

“No.”

“Good.”

Your eyes closed, and you listened to Natsuo’s directions. His voice flowing from your voice and slowly ended with his own. Your eyes fluttered open to see yourself standing in your bathroom with your cellphone to your ear. Heat flooded your body, and you realized just how cold his body was. 

“I’ll see you in twenty minutes,” he spoke sharply, and a smirk curled onto your face.

“Okay, daddy,” you accentuated.

You couldn’t see him, but you could feel his nostrils flare from the opposite end of the call, a dark look on his face. The line went dead, and an internal panic flared through your veins.

Twenty minutes to prepare, could you even manage that?!

You took the fastest five-minute shower in your life, nearly slipping against the slick bathtub while shaving your legs. Hopping out of the shower, you were quick to brush your teeth, putting product in your hair, and once you were done, you scrambled back to your room. Your hands throwing on the first set of lingerie you found, it was a navy blue teddy that had a deep plunge between your breasts. You hastily slid your sheer navy blue thigh highs up your legs, and just managed to slip your large t-shirt back over your head when there was a knock on your front door.

Looking into your mirror, you felt your chest tighten, your stomach filling with butterflies that left you feeling dizzy. It felt like an eternity when you walked to the front door, rising to the tip of your toes to see Natsuo standing outside of your door. His signature white with grey jacket over a dark grey tank that seemed just the perfect fit, you noticed black joggers on him too, and your teeth buried against your bottom lip, your heart beating erratically.

“Who is it?” you asked teasingly, watching the way Natsuo’s eyes snapped up, and you grinned at the way a coy smile stretched across his face.

“Open up and find out?”

“Mm,” you sigh, pressing a finger to your chin, “I don’t particularly want to find out.”

But nevertheless, your fingers found themselves on your doorknob, opening the wood door to see Natsuo standing there. His eyes were drinking in your face, and there was such a loving smile that emerged on his face.

“Hi, soulmate,” he whispered.

It was no different from the typical way he greeted you, but the simple addition of soulmate sent fire to your cheeks and stomach. 

“Hi,” you whisper, stepping aside, letting him in. 

He walked in, and you shut the door behind him, waiting for him to take off his shoes and remove his jacket, you stayed put. Your hands were behind your back, just waiting for him to look at you again. Your thoughts trailed to what was going to happen, would you two have sex? Would he grip your waist so tightly you would be left with purple bruises? Would he enjoy having you as a partner for the rest of his life? You licked your lips as your thoughts wandered.

When he was finally ready, Natsuo took a step towards you, knocking you from your internal turmoil and having you stare straight into his grey eyes. 

“Can I kiss you?” he asked you again, and like before, you didn’t answer him.

Reaching up, you brought him down for a kiss, but unlike before, the intentions were already known. The barriers and the restrictions between the two of you were gone, and you melted.

His hands gripped the back of your thighs while he took a confident stride forward, and you followed after him. Your lips were glued to his. Every divet, every line in his lips was smoothed out and memorized against yours. It made your head spin, this was your soulmate, he was yours. 

Natsuo’s mouth dragged away from yours, moving downwards on your neck. His teeth bit and pulled at your sensitive skin until you were moaning his name. His hands were running up and down your curves, measuring them against him. A small gasp escaped your lips when your thigh rubbed against his clothed erection, and you shivered when his fingers traced the part of your skin where the thigh highs ended. Growling against your skin, Natsuo’s fingers pulled at the elastic and let it go. The fabric came back against your skin, and you whimpered loudly.

“Natsuo, don’t tease,” you muttered, your fingers pressing against the incredibly defined muscles that were hidden underneath his jacket. You wanted it off. But Natsuo didn’t seem to notice your needs, choosing to continue to press searing kisses against your neck.

“Address me by daddy,” he growled, his lips parting with your skin so that you could stare into his eyes. His gaze was ferocious, drowning, and near angry, but for some reason, it sent heat right to your core before he slammed his lips back against yours into a bruising kiss.

You could barely keep up with his moving lips, your eyes rolling to the back of your head when his hot tongue dragged against your lips.

Your hips weakly ground against his, and Natsuo met your needy hips until you were crying against his mouth, and his tongue invaded your mouth. Your fingers flew to his white hair, fisting the soft tendrils until he snarled. One moment you were on your feet and the next Natsuo’s hands cupped your ass and lifted you up.

Your legs wrapped around his waist, and you felt him walking towards your room. 

Your tongue danced against his, your mind doing everything it could to not fall under his spell. To keep fighting, to make sure that this wasn’t going to be easy, no matter what he wanted to be called. Curling your tongue in his mouth, you could feel the shiver go down Natsuo’s spine, and you pulled your tongue back in your mouth.

“Where are you taking me, daddy?” you whisper against his lips, your hips now grinding down against the head of his hard boner. Delighting in the fact that his grip on your ass becomes bruising, your rolling hips don’t slow down.

“Wouldn’t you like to know, baby girl.”

A chill slammed down your spine at that nickname, and you bite down on his lower lip. His gaze met yours, his eyes flaring with an internal fire that only aided to the light between your thighs. Fuck, did you want this man.

The door opened and closed when Natsuo entered your room, and your tongue lapped at his lips. 

His right hand left your ass, and you felt him fumble with the waistband of his joggers. You looked down to see his joggers and briefs fall, but had no time to admire the long and thick cock that sprung free from that restraint.

In what seemed like a perfect and fluid motion, Natsuo sat on your bed. He then shoved the panty of your teddy to the side.

“I don’t particularly like being teased, and last night was a lot,” he admitted, his fingers pressing between your already wet folds, and you cursed. Your hips ground against Natsuo’s fingers, and he grinned, seeing your reaction. “I think you deserved to be punished, don’t you think, baby girl?”

“No,” you breathlessly state, the feeling of his thick and cold fingers against your heated core formed goosebumps all over your body. “I think I’ve been perfectly well behaved, daddy.”

“I see we have a liar,” he chuckled, and before you could think of something to return with, his hands gripped your waist and sank you against his cock.

“FUCK!” you screamed at the feeling of his thick cock stretching you out in such a way that had your forehead slamming against his shoulder. 

Your hips moved, trying to find a way to adjust to Natsuo’s girth that nearly sent tears to your eyes. You could feel the way his cock twitched within you, your tightness, and slick heat getting to him too while he whispered senseless praises into your ear. Your hips moved forward, both trying to relieve the pressure that demanded to be attended to and to bring the mindnumbing pleasure that your body begged for.

But Natsuo’s hands gripped onto your hips, keeping you against his girth. Your jaw dropped to complain, but his left hand lifted to press his fingers in your mouth, effectively silencing you. You gagged softly against his fingers, and you made a whining noise while his right arm wrapped around your waist.

His right fingers dug into your skin, most likely leaving behind purple bruises while his mouth trailed to your ears.

“You’ve been naughty, baby girl,” he sighed, his fingers pressed against your tongue, spreading out slowly when they traveled further back in your throat. Your breathing piqued, trying to remain calm while your throat attempted to constrict around his fingers. “Now, you’ll sit on my cock until I think you’re ready to be fucked.”

Your eyes fluttered when his fingers began to slide up and down your throat, your hips twitching in an attempt to get the friction you craved, and your inner walls ached around his softly throbbing cock. His finger curled in your throat, and your tongue lashed around his fingers, a desperate attempt to remain calm in this situation.

Forcibly, you clenched your inner walls around his cock, and he hissed out your name.

It felt like an eternity with his cock buried balls deep within you, your mouth trying to please Natsuo’s fingers while you resisted the urge to move. 

“Daddy’s gonna fuck you now,” Natsuo muttered and you felt an incredible wave of joy shoot through you, you wanted him to fuck you until your eyes were rolling to the back of your head, drool pouring from your mouth, and his name the only word you could utter.

Suddenly you were on your back, and Natsuo’s cock was no longer in you, nor were his fingers. You shuffled onto your elbows, but Natsuo’s hands grabbed the hem of your shirt and tore it over your head. Your chest rose and fell with your approaching excitement, and Natsuo’s eyes took in the lace teddy that you wore. It blended in with your skin with such refinement that you took in pride at the way his fingers trailed against the fabric.

“Like what you see, daddy?” you ask in almost a whisper, and Natsuo’s snap up to look into your hooded ones.

“You’re so beautiful, baby girl. So perfect,” he agrees, his fingers dragging upwards, moving against your sensitive breasts, making your body arch up into his touch. The stimulation of his cold fingers against your nipples in such thin clothing, along with those sweet affirming words, sent sparks of electricity throughout your body. 

His fingers hooked under the straps of the teddy, and soon it was pulled off your body, joining the t-shirt somewhere in the room. It’s removal left you with nothing but the thigh highs, and by the looks of it, he liked that.

You couldn’t find words to tease him with because his finger trailed against your inner thigh, and you trembled at his touch. 

Natsuo smirked down at you, placing a soft kiss against your cheek before continuing to kiss along your jawline, to your neck, and then down your sternum. “Tell me, baby girl, what do you want?” Between every word, he trailed further down until his mouth was nibbling at the skin between your thighs, ignoring where you wanted and needed him most.

“I want you to fuck me,” you panted when Natsuo pinched one of your nipples, rolling the hardened skin as his teeth bit against your thighs, making your chest arch up into his touch, and made your legs tremble. Your pussy clenched desperately at his ministrations, your aching clit begging to be touched. 

“Do you deserve to cum?” Natsuo pulled away from your thigh with a pop. His fingers trailed back down your stomach, grazing your labia, chuckling at the way your hips twitched against him. 

Natsuo slipped two fingers into your cunt, keeping them still inside you as he maintained eye contact. He watched as you writhed beneath him, your hips snapping to relax against the fullness his fingers gave you. Slowly your movements began to feel good; your actions, to feel good, soon became a desperate attempt fuck yourself against his fingers. Slowly Natsuo began to thrust them in and out of your aching core ignoring your throbbing clit that you couldn’t muster the energy to touch. 

“Please, daddy,” your hands found themselves holding onto his forearm, fiercely trying to get him to do more with his fingers. “Fuck me good.”

Growling lowly, Natsuo arched his two fingers towards puffy inner walls, pressing down against it, and he watched your face contort in pleasure as a low whine left your lips. Natsuo grinned when he saw the way your eyes clenched closed, musical moans pouring from your lips when his fingertips brushed against your g-spot. Your jaw dropped, your hips taking over his finger fucking so that you were fucking yourself on his fingers. The clenching of your walls grew more and more, your toes curling with the impending orgasm approaching you, the build-up overwhelming. 

“So needy, baby girl,” Natsuo suddenly removed his fingers from your heat, your whines and desperate cries ignored while you bucked your hips up towards him, desperate for a release. You watched as Natsuo examined your slick essence on his fingers before looking at you. “Suck it off the baby girl,” he said, putting his fingers between your mouth, and without a second thought, your mind is broken from the denied orgasm you opened your mouth and sucked your sweet essence from them as you writhed beneath him. The taste of yourself on your tongue drove you almost insane; you liked the taste intermingled with the taste of him. What would you have to do to get a taste of his cum with yours? “You’re not allowed to cum until I say you can, baby girl.” 

Your mouth loosed against his fingers, and you whined at his instruction. Natsuo only shoved his fingers further down your throat and roughly fisted his cock, using his hand to glide it along your slit, gathering your juices along the tip with a low groan. He pressed the head inside your tight cunt, watching as your body reacted to the sensation. Your hips pushing forward, trying to get him to go deeper. Natsuo chuckled while he rubbed his cock along your slit again, teasing you, not giving you what you craved most. 

“Tell me what you want me to do, baby girl,” Natuso mockingly asked, knowing exactly what you wanted. His fingers removed from your mouth, and you gasped with the needed breath, and when you were ready, you spoke. 

“Fuck me, daddy, I need you to—” Natsuo’s fingers pressed against your clit, making you shrill in pleasure. 

“Such naughty words,” Natsuo ran his fingertip over your clit, smirking when your tongue came out in a pathetic pant, trying to control your desperate and needy breathing. The action made Natsuo groan, immediately imagining how that would feel on other parts of his body. His restraint wavering when he pulled back, steadying himself between your legs before he slammed into your aching pussy without warning. The sensation of feeling completely full after being denied sent you soaring towards your release. 

“Such a good girl,” Natsuo pressed a sloppy kiss to your lips, thrusting into your pussy as he watched your mouth fall open in pleasure. A constant slew of gibberish leaving your lips as you became lightheaded from the desire, and your arms wrapped around his shoulders to bring him closer. Natsuo’s cock fit inside you perfectly, the prominent veins on his length brushing against your inner walls were now moving, no longer stagnant, and only added to your pleasure. The tight feeling in the core of your stomach began to overwhelm you, the tip of his cock consistently pounding against your sweet spot, your climax threatening to wash over you. “Do you know how fucking gorgeous you are? These thigh highs are fucking driving me crazy… so pretty, so beautiful against your skin. It’s like you dressed this way on purpose, trying to get me to fuck you like you deserve to be fucked.

You whimpered while you shifted your arms around Natsuo’s neck, pulling his body flush against your own as he continued to rut into your tight heat. The angle at which his snapping hips were drilling into you had his pelvis rub against your clit, your legs tightening around his hips as his cock rubbed against your inner walls. You cried out his name, your clit throbbing at the sensation, your body stiffening as he moved faster.

“Who do you think you’re addressing?” Before you could attempt to respond, Natsuo’s right-hand leaves your hip and slams to your throat, choking the response from you. “I want to hear you correct your answer.”

His hand remains heavy and tight around your throat, his hold barely allowing oxygen to travel through to your lungs. Your vision fuzzed, and you could feel your heartbeat in your head, but your core shook with Natsuo’s now reciprocating and rhythmic slams.

“Y-You are, daddy,” you moan loudly, your thighs trembling with the feeling of his fingers around your throat.

Choking and clit stimulation with his cock pounding into your cervix, Natsuo chuckled into your skin. His thrusting hips were becoming more precise, angling into you in a way that made you audibly choke when you needed to gasp. Maybe it was the lack of oxygen to your body that was making you delirious, or perhaps it was the fact that he was slamming into you with the strength of rearranging your guts, but your hips began to swivel at an inhumane pace. Your cunt held a vice grip around his cock, yet it did nothing to slow Natsuo down, but the growing heated pit in your lower belly was making your legs tremble against his. Still, you tried to keep up with his rough and cruel pace, and Natsuo enjoyed knowing that detail.

“You’re fucking beautiful, baby girl. Your pretty little pussy is so fucking tight, I bet you’ve been saving yourself for me? Such a good girl, taking my cock like this, you’re fucking amazing.” He praises, his teeth biting down against your bottom lip. Your breathless moans slipping past your lips. “You enjoy being choked, baby girl?”

Your head nods, “Y-Yes, daddy!”

“Do you need to cum? Maybe I’ll allow it, your pussy has been so good.”

His hand against your throat tightened, and black dots littered your vision. His teeth sunk far into your skin, enough for you to feel your skin breaking as his tongue moving in cold strokes to calm your now throbbing skin. Then there were his nimble left fingers running against your clit and pressed delicate circles in time with his hammering and throbbing cock. But your swiveling hips held no value anymore, Natsuo’s hips snapped upwards fast enough and powerful enough to overcome and overwhelm you. The only thing you could tell was that along with the tip of his cock hitting your bruising walls, the sounds of your sopping wet pussy crashing against his forceful hips frantically rang in your ears.

Your bodies moved together entirely, his thrusts pushing you back further into the bed as he followed your movements. The bed frame hitting the wall with every harsh thrust, and your mattress springs creaking heavy in your ears. The noise of the headboard slamming against the wall was almost as loud as your moans of pleasure as your fingernails ripped into Natsuo’s shoulders, calling out his name in a mantra. 

“I need to cum, daddy. P-please, let me cum—” Natsuo could feel your body shaking underneath him as your orgasm was so close after being built up and denied. 

“Cum for me, y/n.” Natsuo groaned as your inner walls clenched around his length at his vulgar words, “cum all over my cock.”

Your eyes clamped closed, almost in synch. Your head nods, the heated pressure in your belly scorching. Your walls clamp down against his hammering cock, but it doesn’t slow him down, only encouraging him to increase his speed and strength until the bed shuddered against your weight. The sopping noises of your meeting sex filled your ears, and you moaned loudly, your teeth biting down onto your lip.

It takes his cock brushing against your g-spot for your legs to slam outwards, your arms nearly succeeding in choking Natsuo as you try sitting up as your orgasm slams through you.

“Fuck, fuck, FUCK!” You scream hoarsely. Your scream only increases in great thrill when you feel Natsuo’s cock twitching unrestrainedly within you. But Natsuo ignores his own near, his hips continuing to drill into you, his hand clamping tighter against your neck, cutting off your voice. 

Natsuo isn’t done yet, not yet.

His hands move to grip the exposed back of your thighs, his grip bruising your supple skin. He slams into you faster, his cock continuing unaffected by your convulsing walls. There are no other noises except your wet cunt meeting his cock, your muffled shrieks of approval, and Natsuo’s heavy breathing as he continues to drive into you. Your convulsing walls body only making Natsuo stammer and curse loudly.

His lips find yours, and there is nothing to say, the kiss is messy, saliva coating your lips like lipstick. Spit filled kisses were exchanged between the two of you without care, while he chases his orgasm. His intense pace continues, your name growled from your throat, until one last thrust and one final clamp from your cunt sends him over.

Natsuo soon collapsed on top of you, his typically colder body burning with an almost feverish heat while his fingers traced against the frill of your thigh highs.

“That was something,” you mumble into his ear, and Natsuo snorts softly, his head nodding in agreement.

“I didn’t hurt you, did I?” he whispered, pushing off your body; his eyes examined your raw body.

“Nah,” you disagreed with a smile, your fingers brushing through the bangs of his hair. “If you did, I liked it.”

“Masochist,” he teased, his lips pressing against yours in a soft and tender kiss. 

“I just might be, and if I am?”

“Then I think we’ll get along just fine, baby girl.”

“Okay, daddy.”

Soulmates weren’t perfect; you knew that more than anyone! But, while you lay there with his head against your chest. Hours after the two of you had cleaned up and gone for a few more rounds, you realized that this was what you wanted. You and your soulmate. That’s all that mattered when you were together, and things worked out.

#todoroki natsuo #todoroki natsuo x reader #natsuo x reader #natsuo smut #todoroki x reader #todoroki smut #bnha #bnha x reader #mha #mha x reader

[angy-mouse]

Tw// religion delete if sensitive topic and be safe

I wish wiccan and paganism were more popular, I think people are conditioned by horror movies and the bigger religions to believe witches are all satanists, when we're actually more like the wise old woman in the woods that heals people in exchange for pretty rocks. It's the 1% of pretend people that give us the bad name imo. We're actually pretty nice people but the second anyone hears "I'm a witch" it's kind of hard for them to hear anything else. Idk this is a bit personal for me so was genuinely considering anon for this. Also greek mythology, I just want to nerd out with someone over less known people like Pan or Iris

Sorry for the book of a response lol

-cryptid

true, im on wiccan tiktok alot (for some reason idk) and from what i see like 80% of it is just trying to promote good things like self-love, good fortune, etc. Like there's alot of things I don't understand about ppl but the whole 'thats not what i do so you shouldnt either' is a big one like as long as no one's being negatively affected what's the problem?

tw for breif mention of sa and pedophilia but all condemning

And sadly Christians are the most well-known for this even tho literally everything Jesus says in the Bible is preaching the opposite? Like oh you think that girl's dressed too skimpy and want to call her rude names and tell her to cover up, or worse you think she's 'asking for it'? Might I direct you to the passage where Jesus tells his desciples that it is better to mutilate your own body than do that exact thing? You wanna be transphobic? To paraphrase: there is neither man nor woman nor slave nor jew for we are all one in Christ. You wanna try to tell me the Bible is against homosexuality? That passage was translated over 400 times and was originally about fucking little boys until the catholic church said 'hey wait we do that' and changed it.

Like I'm kinda stuck between 'the Bible is up to personal interpretation bc its been translated so many times and it's not actually the word of God it's the word of God written by men about 20-40 years later' and 'Jesus would slap you if he saw you spewing that shit' which is why i don't put down my religion on dating apps bc what i consider the fakers ruined it for all of us

Also I love mythology I just got a new book on it

#angymouse #anonymouse #cryptid chan

[chris-evans-indian-fanfic]

Love

One-Shot

Description: Asexual!Bucky thinks he is broken beyond repair, until you show him that he has been complete all this while.

Warnings: Angst, bad language, mention of sex toys, romance and fluff

@jtargaryen18 organised a writing challenge for reaching 4k followers and of course I have to participate multiple times! 😍 I am sorry this entry is a little late 🙈

My Main Masterlist

A/N: This is the first time I am writing an asexual character. Whatever I have written is based upon my knowledge that I have gathered by reading various articles and posts on asexuality. The reason I am writing this is because I want to have an equal amount of straight and LGBTQ+ stories in my masterlist, so that there's something for everyone to enjoy. Hence, if you are an asexual person or know someone who is, and you realise that anything in my story is incorrectly represented, then please let me know. I will immediately correct it, issue an apology and accept my mistake publicly. 

I don’t consent to have any of my work published or featured on any third party app, website or translated. If you are seeing this fanfiction anywhere but Tumblr and AO3, it has been reposted without my permission. In that case, please do share the link and let me know.

…

"I cannot fucking believe this!" Karen shouted, "What are you like gay or something?"

Bucky winced at her venomous words. "You need to leave," he said in a quiet, respectful tone.

"Like hell I am going to leave. I want answers!" she placed her hands on her hips and stomped her foot. "What is it? Am I not sexy enough for you? Are you not attracted by this?!" she gestured towards the skimpy lingerie currently hugging her body.

Bucky met her eyes as he responded, "I do not want to have sex with you." 

She huffed, clearly not convinced, "Why not? We have been going out for what, 3 months now? And you still don't want to have sex with me? What is the issue here? Is it-" she paused suddenly, her eyes traveling down his torso to his crotch, "You can't get it up can you?" she sneered.

Bucky shook his head, too exhausted to deal with her, "Karen, it's nothing like that. I just do not want to get physical with you. That's all."

"Oh! Ooooohh!" she bent backwards a bit, "So it was fine to hug me, cuddle with me and hold my hands. But when it comes to sex, you suddenly become a pious celibate saint! What the fuck Bucky?"

Bucky sighed, and handed Karen back her coat, "We are done. Please leave."

She laughed dryly, "Oh abso-fucking-lutely we are done. You know what I think?" she asked while wearing the coat, "I think that you are too old grandpa and that your tiny ass tortured gay dick cannot salute on its own. Because no man in his right mind would deny this," she again pointed to herself. "Super-soldier my ass," she muttered as she left.

The door to his apartment closed with a loud bang, leaving an echo in its wake. Bucky stood still, rooted to his spot. If it were not for the silent tears rolling down his cheeks, anybody could have mistaken him for a statue. 

Slowly, he sat on the floor, his gentle sobs rocking his body as he hugged his knees. 

Decades of torture by the hands of Hydra had left him crippled, physically, mentally and emotionally. When he had been saved by Steve, he had started to piece his life back together, bit by bit. Things such as books, movies, music became tiny jigsaw pieces that slowly filled the void in his life. 

After the final galactic battle with Thanos, Bucky had been officially initiated to the Avengers team, or rather what was left of it. The team soon became an extended family, a family that Bucky was still getting used to. It was especially irksome when Sam and Scott decided to set him up on a date with Karen from Research & Development (R&D), despite his protests.

It wasn't that Bucky didn't desire a relationship. He wanted to be close to someone, experience romance, feel their heartbeat in a close embrace and place light kisses on their forehead. 

But he didn't want to have sex.

At first, he thought he might not have met the right woman. So he searched for porn online, which did little to sway his feelings. He put the issue on a backburner, the safety of the people and the urgency of his missions steering the wheel of his life for a while. 

But when Sam and Scott proudly announced their grand plans for Bucky's date, he remembered his "issue" again. He looked at Karen closely whenever they went on dates together. She looked perfect. Beautiful hair, soft glowing skin, curves in all the right places, all packed in a graceful, slender body.

Bucky liked being close to her, but he was still not getting aroused. Hence, he stopped her advancements everytime she tried to get physical. Karen tolerated it for a while, before her patience wore out tonight.

As the sun rose in the sky, Bucky was still seated on the floor, his cheeks now stained with tears that had stopped sometime in the night, though a sniff escaped from him every few minutes. He looked at the sunlight pouring in from the window, broken by the window-panes, landing at his feet in two rays with a comforting warmth. It was in that moment that Bucky realised, Hydra had truly broken him.

🏳️‍🌈

"We have various types of dildos available. There's The Classic, Textured, Long and Thin, Short and Thick, Vibrators, Transparent Plexiglass Dildos, Strap-Ons, G-Spot Dildos, Double-Ended, Squirting Dildos and ones that also come with a suction grip. Are you looking for yourself or are you looking for something to enjoy with your partner?" the helpful saleswoman asked you.

You stroked your chin in thought, "It's only for me. I already have a vibrator that I bought about a year back. The G-Spot ones have never really worked for me. I am looking to try something new. What is the suction grip one?" 

The attendant handed you the dildo and showed you the suction grip at the end of it, "You can use this to place and stick it on any flat surface you want, whether it's the floor or the wall or the side of your desk. It guarantees a completely hands-free pleasurable experience."

You stuck it on the wall besides the showcase to test the theory. It worked. "Neat! I will take this one," you smiled as the attendant went to fetch a fresh piece.

You paid for your new sex toy and walked back to the Avengers compound with your small white shopping bag in tow.

When you reached your desk, you heard Karen bitching as usual about something to Jessica. At first, you blocked them out like you did almost everyday, but then a name in their conversation caught your attention.

"He's the Winter Soldier alright. He's completely frozen down there," Karen whispered loudly with disgust. 

"Even that red sexy lingerie didn't do anything for him?" Jessica gasped dramatically.

"No!"

"That's crazy! That hot-red piece will convert even the most gayest of the guys! And it didn't do anything for him? Wow," Jessica responded.

Karen added, "You know something? I have always thought he was extremely weird. Like, dude, I know you were tortured by Hydra or whatever, but get over it man! It's been years since he was free. He should enjoy life and stop being such a wimp. I am 100% sure he is impotent."

"You know I was digging into him the other night," Jessica said in a hushed whisper, "and I saw a message board online which suggested that his penis has been completely cut by Hydra. This person knows all such secrets about these alleged superheros. You should follow him."

"What is his username?"

"Proud-Flat-Earther-MotherFuckers. Wait, I will send you the link," Jessica offered. 

Having heard enough of their nonsense, you made your way towards the HR department. Maybe both Karen and Jessica had forgotten, but talking about the personal lives of Avengers was strictly against the rules and was considered as reason enough to fire employees. 

You filed a complaint with the HR and within a few hours, both the women were fired on the spot. You savored the moment with relish, as their faces turned aghast at the realisation that their actions had consequences. You went up to them, watching the pair clean their desks, with unabashed glee. 

"You know something Karen?" you asked her, "Just because a man refuses to have sex, it didn't mean that he's a wimp, or gay or an impotent. But if you do choose to think of him that way, then it surely makes you a sexiest and a homophobic person."

Karen looked at you furiously, "You bitch! I lost my job because you went and blabbed in front of the HR!"

You chuckled at her outburst, "Oh my dearest Karen. Yes I did go and rat you out to the HR. But that's not what got the two of you fired."

"Then what did?" Jessica asked as she joined the conversation. 

You folded your hands for effect, "Your hateful comments and toxic views cost you your jobs. People like you think that just by using the latest iPhone or following the latest trends, you are a modern, 21st century person. But in reality, it is your open mindset which makes you a member of the modern society. If you would open your mind just as much as you open your legs, trust me, the two of you will be much better off."

You turned to leave, but stopped yourself, "Just a suggestion. Stop using words like gay and impotent as insults. It will help you retain your next job for a longer time." You winked at their speechless faces, and happily returned to your desk. 

Your job in R&D was taxing and so, you always found yourself working late. Today was no exception either. As you left your office at around 8pm, you saw Bucky heading towards the elevator which led to his apartment. You always had a soft spot for the brunette super-soldier. For starters, you couldn't even begin to comprehend the tortures he must have endured in his past. And the fact that he was trying to piece his life back together again? It was truly commendable.

He always kept to himself, his eyes downcast and his body language unsure. And after what you had heard today, you felt even more sorry for the guy. Turning towards the cafeteria, you picked up a box of vanilla-strawberry French macarons for him, thanking the heavens above for the free food available at the Avengers compound. You held the white bag with macarons in your left hand, being mindful of not confusing it with the similar white bag in your right which contained your new sex toy. 

A few moments later, you found yourself in front of his apartment. You had visited him twice before to adjust his vibranium arm or to sort out a few tweaks, but never before had you visited him so late in the evening. 

You knocked, feeling a little hesitant as you did so. He was surprised to find you standing on the opposite of the door, however, he still greeted you courteously nonetheless. 

Before you could state your reason for the visit, he said sincerely, "I heard what you did today. Thank you. I really appreciated it."

Now it was your turn to be surprised, "Oh. Ummm. It's okay really Mr Barnes. It was nothing. You don't need to-"

"No. It wasn't just nothing. You could have turned a deaf ear and ignored them. Yet you chose to stand-up for me. Thank you," a small smile laced his face and you melted on the spot.

You had a crush on Bucky. A BIG one. Could anyone blame you? This guy was a hot, sexy mess of an ice-cream sundae that left you hungry for more even on the coldest nights of the year. 

You realised you were staring into his steel-blue eyes like a creep, and immediately cleared your throat. "What-what they did was wrong. Karen had no right to demean you for your desires or lack of them. I-," you sighed, "I am sorry for what she said. It was disrespectful and hurtful. So I brought you something that I hope will cheer you up."

You awkwardly raised your right hand, "I got you some vanilla-strawberry macarons from the cafeteria."

Bucky did cheer up a bit at the mention of his favourite food. He eagerly took the bag with a huge smile, "Thank you," he said once again as you shook your head. "Thank you for everything you do to keep us safe Mr Barnes. I must be on my way now. Goodnight," and with that you left, grinning like an idiot.

🏳️‍🌈

You took a bath, ate your dinner and slipped into comfortable pyjamas. Excited to try your new sex toy tonight, you unpacked the bag expecting to see the nondescript box of the dildo. Instead, 5 delicious macarons stared back at you with innocence. 

You stumbled backwards in shock, the impact of your action settling like a dull, heavy weight in your stomach. "Oh no no no no," you whispered, horrified.

You immediately rushed to your window and pulled aside the curtain to look at Bucky's building, as if expecting to see him staring daggers at you. One of the privileges of working with the Avengers? You got to stay in a nice apartment within the compound itself. Your residential complex was a little further away from the main building, covered easily by 15 minutes of walking. 

Feeling hyper, you frantically searched for a coat and almost ran out of your house. You rushed back in to keep the box in the bag and again, dashed towards the elevator. 

Hoping that Bucky would have yet to open the box, you sent a silent prayer to all the gods and goddesses in the skies above, even Thor. Meh, you never know when an ex-Avenger could be of help.

You sprinted towards the other building, a multitude of thoughts clouding your mind- What if he was offended by it? Would he file a complaint against me? It would be sorta ironic if I was fired for this! Shit he would think my apology was false and I am probably mocking him.

You reached his apartment, a panting, huffing mess of a person. You knocked frantically, his door shaking with force at your desperation. However, you jumped as Bucky whispered your name from behind you, "Are you okay? What's going on?" he asked with concern as you turned around to face him.

"Did-did you op-open the bo-ox?" you questioned him while panting like a dog. 

He furrowed his brows in response, "No I was planning to open it in a few minutes. Please tell me what's going on. Why do you look so scared?"

You bent over double, your stomach cramping thanks to your impromptu running, "Thi-this is your bag," you held up the package, "That ba-bag is mine."

"Okay," Bucky said slowly, still unsure of your behaviour, "Should I open the door to retrieve your bag?"

You nodded as he stepped aside, "Why are you not wearing any shoes?"

You looked down at your feet at his query, small blades of grass had stuck to your naked feet along with dirt. "I was in a hur-hurry to get to you," you managed to say between your breaths.

Bucky just nodded in response. It was then that you noticed the pack of paper tissues in his hand. He opened the door and stepped inside, beckoning you to follow him. He pointed to the white bag kept on the table while he looked at it with worry. "Will it explode?" he solicited.

"Uhh no," you replied awkwardly.

"Is it dangerous?" curiosity etched on Bucky's face as you swapped the bags.

"No, it's nothing like that," you looked down at your feet, feeling the heat rush to your cheeks with embarrassment.

He narrowed his eyes, "Then what is it?"

"I can't tell you," you quietly admitted, "but here are your macarons. I am really sorry for this. Didn't mean to disturb you from whatever you had planned," you pointed to the box of tissues still in his hand. 

Bucky noticed the underlying question in your statement, "I was about to watch a movie. So needed these to clear the mess."

Your eyes went wide at his sincerity. While you had a crush on him, you definitely did not want to know about Bucky's late night masturbation adventures. Shaking your head, you raised your hands and started walking backwards, "I am sorry I disturbed your nightly… activities. I get out of your hair."

"Actually, would you like to join me for the movie?" Bucky asked hopefully, "We have the macarons and you seem like you need to calm your nerves."

You were surprised for the third time that day. Did Bucky just ask you to masturbate with him? Or have sex while eating the macarons? Or did he want to eat them after you guys have had sex? A flurry of questions swirled in your mind as you stared at him with a slightly open mouth. 

Bucky interpreted your gaze and stumbled to clarify himself, "As friends! Would you like to watch a movie with me as a friend?"

You slowly nodded your affirmation, "Yeah okay. Which movie are we watching?" 

"The Notebook," he revealed with a smile, "It's an extremely emotional movie. Ummm what's the term? Tear-jerker? Uhh yeah, it's a real tear-jerker of a movie."

"Oh so that's why…" you pointed at the tissues. "Yeah," he confirmed, "I tend to cry a lot while watching that movie. And… ummm… I am the kind of person who cries ugly. You know, all tears and snot. So yeah… I need the whole box."

"That's… that's actually sweet," you smiled, "Trust me you are not alone. I start crying as soon as the titles appear on the screen."

He got excited at your confession, "Yes! Exactly! It's because you know what's going to come and you are just mentally preparing yourself."

You chuckled with him in affirmation as he led you further into his apartment.

You freshened up a bit in his washroom, making sure to clean your feet and the residue on your face from the sweat.

Bucky was standing besides your bag when you entered the living room, "Now that we are friends," he intoned, "will you please tell me what's inside of this?"

You sighed, "Mr Barnes-." 

"Bucky," he corrected you and you smiled. 

"Will you promise me you will not take any offense or be insulted by it? I really did not mean to swap the bags."

"I trust you," Bucky said with assurance.

"It's…it is a sex toy," you mumbled quietly. Any normal human wouldn't have heard you, but Bucky's enhanced hearing caught your words flawlessly. 

He took a moment to process your words, and finally, to your amazement, burst out laughing. 

You sheepishly smiled at his reaction as your heart felt a little lighter. "That is embarrassing," he agreed with a wide grin. 

The two of you settled on the couch as Bucky's chuckles lessened. He kept the box of macarons between you two, but hesitated to begin the movie.

You sensed his curiosity, and clarified, "I haven't been in a relationship in a very long time. It's been… 2 years I guess… since my last breakup." You took a deep breath, "And my job doesn't exactly leave a lot of time on my hands for dating or one-night-stands."

Bucky seemed to consider your words for what felt like a long time. Finally, he asked quietly, "What does it feel like? To… to want another person… sexually?"

You blinked your eyes, thinking you must have misheard him. But then, his gaze met yours, and you knew his question was sincere.

"It feels like…," you raked your mind in search for the appropriate words, "...like your entire body is on fire, and you need the touch of the other person to quench your thirst. Like, just for a few moments, you want to shut your mind, and let your body think for you."

Bucky nodded slowly as you finished, "But what if you feel that in your heart? And not for your body?"

You squint your eyes at his question, "What do you mean Bucky?"

He placed his head in his hands, "I just… I don't feel like that with anyone. I mean, I don't want to have sex. Trust me I have tried everything. Literally everything. Still I don't feel aroused… I am broken, aren't I? Because this is abnormal, right? No matter how hard I try I will never be normal."

Your heart shattered at his words. You had heard about his horrid nightmares, but to think that he was struggling to accept himself, thinking that he was broken, even when he had so much love to give, was depressing. You could not just stand by and watch.

Gently, you placed a hand on his shoulder, "Bucky, look at me." When he didn't comply, you urged him, "Bucky, you are not broken. It is completely normal to not have any sexual desires."

"No it's not," he scoffed.

"Yes it is," you coerced him, "Do you know what is asexuality? It is the complete absence of sexual desires. Many people-"

He interrupted you, "There is no such thing. You are making this up."

"I am not," you replied indignantly, "Research indicates that more than 1% of the American population is asexual. Also, experts believe that more people might be asexuals because they think that they "haven't found the right person yet"," you ended with air quotes.

With no reaction from him, you sighed and got up, "Do yourself a favour. Use the internet and learn about asexuality. It will help put your mind at ease." You left after giving that piece of advice.

Bucky stayed in the same position for a few moments after your departure. He nibbled on a macaron as he considered the movie playing in front of him. Unable to focus, he promptly shut it all and carried the box to his bed. The macarons disappeared into his mouth as he tossed and turned, feeling restless. 

There was no way asexuality was a thing. If it was, then how come there were no movies, tv shows or even advertisements on asexuality? That's because it wasn't normal, right? Maybe you had just lied to him to make him feel better? Maybe you took pity on him?

He looked at his phone on the table near the tv set, your final words repeating in his head in a loop. The combination of tiredness and laziness encouraged him to take your advice in the morning.

🏳️‍🌈

You didn't see Bucky for 3 days after your fateful encounter with him. The fact that you still had your job at the Avengers Tower meant that he hadn't filed a complaint yet with the HR. And for that you were grateful. Friday came and you found yourself working late, again. It was around 10pm and you were still in your lab, almost done with the work. That's when you heard the small swoosh of the lab doors opening and closing.

You looked up from your table, and found Bucky staring intently at you with his blue eyes. He cleared his throat and tentatively took a step towards you. "You were right," he said slowly, "I researched online, read a few articles and spoke with the in-house therapist. I am an," he took a deep breath, "an asexual."

You closed your laptop and smiled at his confession, "How are you feeling now?"

"Honestly? A little bit better. I feel somewhat free," he admitted while gripping the white bag in his hand a little bit tighter.

"That's great! I am so proud of the progress you have made," you beamed at him, but sensed his hesitance as you neared him.

"What's wrong?" you gently inquired.

"You are… not… I mean… by any chance… asexual?" he winced at his own question.

You chuckled lightly, "No I am not."

"Ahh, then it's okay," he murmured and turned as if to leave.

You stopped him by placing a hand on his firm bicep, "What's going on?"

He shifted on his feet, visibly uncomfortable and anxious, "I was just… no nevermind it's stupid."

"Bucky," you said his name in a stern voice.

He sighed again, "I thought… I mean I owe you a movie because… of that night… and so… you know… would you like to watch it? The movie? But why would you? You deserve better… you are not an asexual. You are normal. Why would you want to go on a date with me?" he finally ended his mumbling.

You looked at him with squinted eyes, trying to decipher what he had muttered. "Did you just say you would like to go on a date with me? But it was stupid because you are an asexual and I am normal?" you blinked as he nodded.

"Who told you that you are not normal?" you asked him, a little irritated, "Bucky look at me." This time he complied, "You. Are. Normal. As normal as me, as the other Avengers or as anybody else in the world. Do not, for even one goddamn second, think that there's something wrong with you because there isn't. Are you listening to me? Am I clear?" you wagged your forefinger at him.

Amused at your outburst, he nodded with a sheepish grin. Clearing his throat, he asked you again, "Would you like to watch a movie with me tomorrow? As a date?"

You placed your hands on your waist, "Yes."

His grin widened as he asked you the next question, "Still mad at me?"

"Uh-huh."

"Maybe these cupcakes will help," he shyly held up the white bag in front of you, "I made sure they were cupcakes," he added with a smirk.

You graciously accepted the bag, "Cupcakes will always help."

"Great! It's a date then. Tomorrow… at 4pm? My apartment?" Bucky suggested.

You agreed, and he left with a goodbye. As soon as he was out of sight, you opened the box, expecting to see the usual cupcakes inside. Instead, you found that the sweet treats were decorated with cute messages such as "U R Cute" , "Be Mine?" , "So Sweet" and so on. Feeling mushy at his adorable gesture, you bit into the sweet treat as you headed back to your apartment.

The next day, you made sure to wear a purple dress, complete with black, grey and white accessories - the colours of the asexual flag. Bucky beamed at you as he welcomed you into his apartment. He had made a snack mix from popcorn, crispy pretzels, chips and nachos, the perfect accompaniment to any movie according to him, and you couldn't agree more.

The pair of you watched The Notebook in silence, except for a few sobs and sniffs here and there and the straight up bawling during the emotional parts of the movie.

After a while, the film ended but your date continued. The two of you talked about everything, right from the meaningful discussions about the government policies to random questions like "which mythical creature would you be and why?"

Soon, it was time for you to head back to your apartment. Bucky offered to walk you and you happily agreed. But before you left, he asked you nervously, "Would you like to have a second date?"

"I would love to," you beamed, "Which movie should we watch the next time?"

He ran his hand in his somewhat disheveled hair, "Uhh… I actually made a date jar. Wait, I will get it."

He brought over a glass jar, filled with tiny bits of folded paper, "I thought we could have dates that start from each English alphabet. We can pick and choose at random from the jar."

Tears pricked the corner of your eyes again at his thoughtful and romantic gesture. You gingerly picked one note from the jar, excited for the adventure that awaited the two of you.

🏳️‍🌈

It took more than 2 years for the pair of you to finish every date in the date jar, except for one. Whether it was jet-skiing in the ocean, taking classes for flamenco dance, him teaching you self-defense or going on a wildlife safari together, you and Bucky finally got through it all. Only the letter "P" was now left.

In these 2 years, any distance between the two of you had practically vanished. Bucky was comfortable in removing his bionic arm in front of you. Moreover, he had started sharing everything with you. Right from his darkest and disturbing nightmares to a pretty butterfly that he may have seen during his missions, Bucky made it a point to ensure that you were a part of his life, and you had absolutely no complaints.

The two of you had also discussed about your sexual desires, and Bucky had been comfortable with you using your sex toys as and when you wished.

Bucky was the perfect boyfriend anybody could ask for. He was considerate, thoughtful, a hardcore feminist and gave the best foot-rubs in the world. And so you were nervous. Nervous because the two of you had never actually sat down to talk about the nature of your relationship. And as the day of the last date loomed nearer, your anxiety increased. At first, you thought of making a second date jar, but he had quickly dismissed the idea, stating that he would be caught up with multiple things after the last date ended.

As you sat in the car that Bucky had sent for you, your apprehension grew. Bucky always picked you up, however this time, he had asked you to come alone in the car. Maybe he wanted to break up with you?

By the time you reached the park it was pitch black. You were sure Bucky had paid the guards to keep the gates of the park open just for you.

As soon as you entered, you saw the pathway lined with 25 lamp posts, leading you towards a breathtaking archway decorated with fairy lights and your favourite flowers.

On every lamp post, a photograph of the two of you - which were taken on your dates - was stuck along with a note. The notes described how he fell in love with you over and over again on every single date. Your progress was slow, as read each of his meticulously written words with tears in your eyes. You collected all of his notes and the photographs, and finally headed towards the lit archway.

When you entered it, the instrumental notes of the song "All of Me" by John Legend reached your ears.

You walked ahead and reached a bend. Upon crossing it, you were showered with rose petals as the live music grew louder. And at the end of the archway, your boyfriend, James Buchanan Barnes, was standing in a tuxedo, looking as sinfully good as the forbidden fruit. The entire area around him was lit with soft fairy lights that cascaded gracefully between tall lamp posts. Even on the ground, small wooden lamps illuminated the grass across the area. A live band was playing the music and your Bucky was standing with the most gorgeous bouquet of red roses that you had ever seen.

Your vision turned blurry as you started crying, and looking at your tears, he started sobbing as well. "No no no I can't cry now," he managed to say between his sobs while giving you his handkerchief, "I have to do this."

He got down on one knee and took your hand in his. You both laughed as you started crying harder. He took a deep breath and said your name, "These 2 years have been the most magical years of my life. You have accepted me as who I am, what I am, and never once tried to change me or make fun of me for it. I never thought I would be treated with the amount of respect that-" he started crying, unable to finish his sentence.

You sat beside him and handed him your kerchief. "Yes," you said with a tear-stained smile.

"Let me ask you first!" he exclaimed between his sobs.

You laughed and wiped your snot as he cleared his throat, "I love you so much. You are the only one I want to-" he started crying again.

"Yes!" you answered his unsaid question.

"I haven't asked you yet!" he exclaimed again as the two of you giggled between your sobs.

"Okay c'mon Bucky you can do this," he muttered to himself as you beamed at him. "Okay," he looked into your eyes and whispered your name, "Will you do me the honour of marrying me and becoming my wife?"

You choked up at finally hearing the words. Rendered speechless, you could only nod as fresh tears escaped your eyes.

"You have to say yes!" he almost shouted with excitement.

"Yes! Yes! Yes!!" you matched his enthusiasm as he slipped a ring onto your finger. His large arms then engulfed you in a bear hug, wrapping you in a safe and secure space for eternity to come.

Permanent tag: @donutloverxo @notyourtypicalrose @just-one-ordinary-fangirl

Bucky taglist: @loustan90

Taglist open! Just comment, send an ask or message!

#asexual #Bucky Barnes #bucky barnes angst #bucky barnes au #james bucky barnes #asexual!bucky barnes #asexual!Bucky #bucky x reader #Bucky barnes x Reader #winter soldier #lgbtqa #JTargaryen18s4K