#I ran out of my meds and it might take a while to get more

[i-am-a-fish]

I am

• worried

• depressed

• uncomfortable

• upset

• afraid

• uneasy

it does not feel good.

I'm going to drink some water, take a nap, and deal with these things later

#I'm still waiting to hear back if I got my apartment #I just broke my glasses #I ran out of my meds and it might take a while to get more #I have so many people I need to message back #I fucked up and missed my therapy appointment yesterday #I'm with both of my parents for the holidays and I'm not out as she/her #I just feel gross

[delusionalfanficwriter]

accident

The morning sun cast a soft glow over the streets of Seattle as Y/N drove to her training session for USWNT. The familiar scent of coffee filled the air, but her mind was focused on the upcoming game and the challenges that lay ahead. As she approached an intersection, the traffic light turned red, forcing her to come to a stop.

Just as the light turned green, Y/N accelerated, her mind still occupied with thoughts of tactics and strategy for the game. The intersection was busy, cars moving in various directions. However, in the blink of an eye, a distracted driver ran a red light, colliding with Y/N's car from the side.

The impact sent Y/N's car spinning, metal crunching against metal. The sudden jolt left her disoriented, the world spinning around her. As the chaos unfolded, she heard the distant wail of sirens, and through the haze, she saw the familiar faces of Maya hopping out of the fire truck and the Station 19 team rushing to the scene before her eyes started to close shut. 

Maya takes in the scene,  her eyes fall on the license plate number she has seen dozens of times. Her mind jumps to y/n, who she knows is in Seattle for the game coming up later in the week. The y/n who she and Carina took under their wing after she showed up several times to clinic days. They opened their home for her until she was steady enough to be on her own and when she isn’t with USWNT she is home in the UK playing for Arsenal. 

Panic and concern etched across her face, as she sprinted towards Y/N's car. Reaching the damaged vehicle, she instantly saw y/n out cold. Reaching for the door handle, it wouldn’t budge. “Fuck! Guys it’s y/n. We need the jaws of life to remove the door and maybe even windshield for more access.” Travis went to grab it as Warren and Andy came with the med bag as they were on Aid car 19. “Y/n, I’m not sure if you can hear me but I need you to try to open your eyes. It’s Maya. You are going to be okay.”

Maya makes the decision to break the backseat window and enter through there before crawling front to the passenger seat. Andy did the same but remained behind y/n as she helped stabilize her neck with a c-collar after Maya checked for a pulse. 

With all the hands touching her, y/n started to stir awake, moaning in pain. “Shhh. Y/n, it’s going to be okay, just try to remain still for us.”

Hearing the familiar voice, y/n turned her head as much as possible with the collar on to the source. “Cap…” She whispered.

“Hey there, kiddo. You took quite a big hit. Andy and I are in the car with you. Can you tell me if you are in pain and where?” Maya scans over y/n as y/n thinks the question through. 

“Um. My head is pounding and the light makes it worse. Chest might be bruised… Maya…” y/n’s facial expression changes into a panicked one. 

“Y/n, what’s wrong?... Y/n talk to me…”

“...legs… I- I can’t feel my legs. Maya- no no…” Y/n begins to spiral as realization hits her. 

“Y/n, I need you to listen to me and breathe. We will figure it out but don’t focus on that right now. I need you to get your breathing under control.”

Warren assisted Travis in preparing the jaws of life while Maya focused on Y/N's immediate needs. Andy opened the med bag, retrieving equipment to monitor vital signs. 

"Y/N, I need you to stay with me. Andy's going to monitor your vital signs, and we'll make sure you're as comfortable as possible," Maya explained, her voice a steady presence in the chaos. “Nice deep breaths.”

Andy secured an IV line, administering fluids to address potential shock. Maya continued to assess Y/N's chest and abdomen, searching for any signs of internal injuries. 

"Good job, Andy. Let's keep an eye on those vitals. Y/N, I need you to let me know if anything feels off or if the pain increases," Maya directed, her focus unwavering. “Y/n pay attention to me. Eyes on me. We will worry about your legs when we pull you out.”

“Cap, my legs are everything. You know that.”

“I know, Y/n, I promise I know.” Maya is reminded of how soccer saved Y/N life and helped lift her from her rough past. 

As Maya reassured Y/N, the situation took a dire turn. A faint hissing sound emerged from beneath the wreckage, followed by the acrid smell of gas. Maya's heart sank as she realized the danger they were in.

"Warren, Travis, we've got a gas leak! We need to get Y/N out of here, now!" Maya's voice cut through the chaos, urgency evident in every word. With adrenaline coursing through their veins, the team intensified their efforts.

Travis and Warren redoubled their efforts with the jaws of life, while Andy swiftly prepared Y/N for extraction, mindful of the looming threat of fire. Maya coordinated the rescue operation with precision, her training kicking in as she assessed the risks and devised a plan.

Suddenly, a spark ignited the volatile atmosphere, and flames erupted, engulfing the front of the car. Time seemed to slow as panic surged through the team. Without hesitation, Maya made a split-second decision.

"Grab Y/N, we're getting her out, now!" Maya commanded, her voice unwavering despite the inferno raging around them. With synchronized movements, Andy and Maya carefully lifted Y/N, their actions swift yet deliberate.

“Stop it-it hurts! Maya, stop!” Y/n screamed and cried as her body was hastily carried out of the vehicle. 

“I’m sorry, Y/n but we need to leave now!” Maya screamed over the chaos. As they lifted y/n out and placed her on the stretcher, they ran as Vic and Jack foamed over the gas leak. 

“Leah… I was on a call with Leah before.” Y/n suddenly remembered having her girlfriend on the other end of the line before the crash. 

“Don’t worry, I will call her, right now.” Maya climbed into the back of the ambulance, her eyes never leaving Y/N. "You're doing great, Y/N. We're right here with you," she said, her voice filled with reassurance.

Andy followed suit, bringing the medical bag and equipment into the confined space of the ambulance. Y/N's eyes darted between Maya and Andy, seeking comfort in their familiar faces amidst the uncertainty.

“Speaking of the devil, Leah is facetiming me.” Maya says unlocking her phone but as the ambulance doors closed, Y/N's panic resurfaces. The confined space and the realization of the severity of the situation weighed heavily on her. "Maya, I can't... I can't breathe. It's too much," Y/N gasped, her chest rising and falling rapidly.

Maya quickly grabbed an oxygen mask from the medical bag. "Y/N, slow your breathing. This will help," she said, placing the mask gently over Y/N's face. "Deep breaths. In and out."

“What’s happening? Maya what happened to Y/n?!” Leah yelled through the phone panicked by Y/n’s panic. 

“Y/n look who I have on the phone, wanting to see you.” Maya tries to distract the woman in front of her. Y/n pauses for a second to see her blurred girlfriend on the screen.

“Baby, you’re going to be okay, Maya is with you and I am sure Carina will meet you in the hospital. I’ll be on the next plane over.” Leah reassured y/n. 

“Leahhh,” Y/n cried. “I can’t - can’t feel my legs. I’m so scared.” Leah pauses and a panic look crosses over her eye but she tries to remain as calm as possible. 

“Wait until the doctor’s check you out, it could just be from slight inflammation. Just focus on what Maya says. She is with you and looks like Andy is there too. You are gonna be fine, baby just remain calm.” 

“Leah, we are pulling into the ambulance bay in a minute so I am going to hang up and get her sorted for the medical staff. I’ll call you back as soon as I can.” Maya tells Leah knowing how protective she is of her girlfriend. With that Leah gives another word of love to Y/n before canceling the call. 

“I texted Carina as well, I am not sure if she’s in surgery or not but she’ll come to find us once she sees it.” Maya informs y/n knowing she is able to calm down more when Carina is around. “We are almost there, but it’s going to get chaotic. Just breathe, it’ll be alright.” 

The ambulance pulls up and doors open to reveal Amelia, Bailey, Kepner, Teddy, and Carina. 

“What do we have?” Bailey starts.

“23 year old female in a MVC, airbags deployed, head laceration, possible spinal injury, she says she can’t feel her legs. C-spine precaution taken. Y/n had two panic attacks already and is in pain but no pain meds given as unknown head trauma...” Andy trails off. 

“Alright, trauma 2.”

Y/n is rolled in as everyone takes on a role and several hands are trying to assess her injuries to the full extent. Y/n takes her deep breaths as she reminds herself they are here to help her. 

In the entrance of the room Maya whispers to Carina, “Carina, she said she can’t feel her legs. I tried to stay calm for her but it’s never good. She was freaking out…” 

A loud groan of pain takes them out of their moment as they see they have turned y/n on her side to check her back before placing her back down. Amelia does a head work up and then moves down to y/n’s legs. Carina steps closer to y/n for support as Amelia asks her if she can feel her touching her feet. 

“I can’t feel it.” Amelia moves up the leg and to the knee. “Nothing.” Amelia moves mid-thigh. “I barely feel that.”

“Okay, don’t worry, we will get a CT scan and check you out. Might just be inflammation on the spine that will go away.” Amelia reassured the girl Carina took under her wing. 

“And what if it doesn’t,” Y/n asks the question she knows the answer to. 

“Let’s see what the scans say and we will take it from there.” Amelia places her hand on Y/n’s hand but she pulls away. 

“I’m going to be sick.” With that, y/n turns her body as much as possible and only dry heaves. 

“Bambina, you are stressing yourself out. I know you are worried about playing soccer, hell even walking but one thing at a time. You can’t think of what ifs. I am here now. I will make sure things are in order. Maya and I will be there for you every step of the way. I am going to need you to practice the breathing exercises. I don’t want them to sedate you but if your panic gets in the way…”

“No, no I promise.” Y/n cuts her off and closes her eyes trying to regulate her breathing. The team talks to her about the next steps of imaging and makes her a priority case.

#woso fanfics #woso x reader #uswnt fanfic #uswnt imagine #uswnt x reader #carina deluca #maya bishop #station 19 #greys anatomy #leah williamson x reader #leah williamson #arsenal x reader #arsenal wfc #andy herrera

[hbyrde36]

STWG Drabble 9/19/23

Prompt: “We’re not family”

“We’re not family!” Dustin spit the words in Steve’s face, looming over his hospital bed with a scowl.

Steve's heart sank. Oh no, not Dustin too. “But, you said I was like a brother to you.”

“Maybe at one point you were, but then you let Eddie die. How could you possibly think things could ever be the same after that?”

Had he done that? Was Eddie dead, and was it somehow his fault? He couldn’t remember, it must have been the pain meds clouding his mind. No wonder the kid was so upset.

“I’m sorry, Dustin, I'm so sorry. You know I would have done anything to save him if I could have. Please, you have to know that.” Steve begged. He had so few people in his life that really cared about him, and his heart was breaking at the thought that he’d ruined things with his pseudo little brother. He’d already been disowned by his parents after he didn’t get into college, what more could he take?

“You know what I think?” Dustin began, with a most unpleasant smile on his face. “I think you wanted him to die. I think you were so jealous of him, so afraid that he was going to take me away from ,that you’d do anything to get him out of the picture.”

“No, NO! That’s not true. I liked Eddie! I cared about him! I swear! Why would you…why are you saying these things to me?” Steve cried.

Dustin scoffed. “You're lucky I'm even standing here right now. What good are you to me like this? To us? Bedridden and broken. You can’t even protect these kids you supposedly love now. You’re worthless, Steve. Might as well throw in the towel.”

Steve tried desperately not to fall apart, but what reason did he have to hold himself together now if even Dustin didn't want anything to do with him anymore?

That’s when he heard a familiar voice start screaming his name in the distance. Nancy. She was calling out to him but it sounded like she was a million miles away. Suddenly, he realized that nothing around him made sense. He shouldn’t be in the hospital, and what had Dustin just said about Eddie? Eddie was fine the last time Steve saw him, not ten minutes ago! The last thing he remembered was climbing the stairs to the attic in the Creel house. Robin had just tripped over a vine, he was trying to get to her to help when another one had wrapped itself around his throat. 

“You know she’s only trying to save you out of guilt, Steve. She doesn’t love you, she doesn’t even like you.” Dustin-not-Dustin said, his voice dropping lower with every word spoken. 

Vecna.

Steve jumped out of the bed on the opposite side and ran for the door. He threw it open and sprinted down the hall. The hospital was a ghost town, which he figured made sense considering none of this was real. 

He looked around as he ran, desperate to find a way out. Max had described a portal opening up when she’d escaped Vecna’s clutches in the graveyard, but she’d had the music to guide her then. He knew neither he, Robin, or Nancy had brought a walkman with them into the Upside-Down. 

He kept running anyway, desperate to get as much space between himself and Vecna as possible while he tried to think. He wondered what had happened with Max. Had he not taken the bait, or was Max… already dead? 

The thought made him want to give up. To just lie down on the floor, curl up in a little ball, and let that bastard take him too, but Robin would never forgive him if he gave up now. He pushed on, rushing past empty room, after empty room, finding nothing helpful or useful.

The feeling of hopelessness became overwhelming but just when he was again considering admitting defeat, the world around him dissolved and he was plunged into darkness. 

He woke with a gasp in Robin’s arms. She was rocking him, tears spilling down her face.

“Oh my god, Steve, you’re back!” She cried, squeezing him tightly.

“Where’s Nance?” He asked.

“She’s up in the attic finishing Vecna off. When we couldn’t wake you, we went up there to start the attack, hoping it would force him to let you go. Nancy thinks he was trying to get you and Max at the same time, and it left him too distracted and vulnerable. We got him Steve, it’s over.”

He sagged in relief. Vecna was dead. He was okay, it sounded like Max probably was too. That’s when he remembered what Dustin/Vecna had said about Eddie, and his blood ran cold.

Steve pushed himself out of Robin’s arms and to his feet, quickly grabbing his axe from where it had fallen. He flew down the stairs taking them two at a time and praying he wasn’t too late.

“Where are you going?” Robin shouted at his back.

He paused for only a second to explain. “I think Eddie and Dustin are in trouble, wait here for Nance and meet me back at the trailer!”

-

He found Eddie kneeling on the ground surrounded by dozens of dead demobats. His spear and shield had been tossed to the ground. He was breathing heavily, hands pressed tightly to a wound on his side. He was hurt, he was bleeding, but he was alive. 

Steve started stripping out of his jacket as he approached. He tugged the t-shirt over his head and ripped it, trying to create bandages the same way Nancy had. 

Eddie stared up at him with wide eyes. “Am I dead?”

“No.”

Steve pulled Eddie's hands away from the wound and pulled the shirt up so he could get a better look at it. It was pretty bad, but it wasn’t gushing. If they wrapped it tight, and got him to a hospital quickly, Eddie would be just fine. 

“Are you sure? Because the way you just stripped out of those clothes for me is definitely making me feel like I've died and gone to heaven, big boy.”

Steve blushed hard. It was just the blood-loss, he reasoned. Eddie didn’t know what he was saying, so he ignored it.

“You’re gonna be fine, Eddie. Hold that shirt up for me so I can wrap this.”

Eddie did as he was asked, but his gaze never wavered from Steve’s chest. He was pretty sure he even caught the other boy licking his lips at one point, and it definitely didn’t cause warmth to start pooling in his stomach. 

Steve fought hard to concentrate on his work, but he had a feeling that as soon as this was over he was going to need an emergency bathroom floor meeting with Robin.

#stwgdailyprompt #steddie drabble #steddie ficlet #steddie #stranger things #steve harrington #eddie munson #steddie fanfic

[herehavesomeheadcanons]

Listen, I know I should be cracking down on the requests cluttering my inbox, but I felt the need to be petty today. Being caught up with the latest chapters of BSD, I feel just a bit angry at Fyodor for his crimes against my sweet, beloved Sigma. So, without further Ado, I present:

A List of Embarrassing Things Fyodor Dostoevsky has Done

Yeah, I got this off Pinterest. Look at him, he looks so worried that I'm about to embarrass him in front of his fangirls >:3

🖤🐀 Forgot to sleep for three days straight, and fainted at the dinner table as a result. This really isn't uncommon for him. He's such a workaholic that you've had to actually carry him to bed more times than you can count (Don't worry, he weighs, like, nothing.).

🖤🐀 Forgetting to take his iron supplements. This one is usually the culprit behind most of his other mishaps. When he gets really busy, he often neglects to take the one thing that keeps his anemia symptoms at bay.

🖤🐀 Lost to Nikolai at hide-and-seek. Multiple times. Despite Fyodor's infinite genius, he can't ever seem to beat Nikolai at hide-and-seek. Nikolai loves to hide in places that Fyodor physically cannot get to, such as up a tree, and laugh when Fyodor can't find him.

🖤🐀 Accidentally called you 'Nikolai' when you pestered him while he was trying to work. He gets a little snappy when he's lacking sleep, and he's used to Nikolai pestering him. He apologized afterwards, he knows it must be terribly insulting to be mistaken for that damn clown.

🖤🐀 The amount of times he has fainted in the shower is ridiculous. It's a good thing you're there to catch him, otherwise he might accidentally drown! That would be quite an embarrassing way for the great Fyodor Dostoevsky to die!

🖤🐀 Every time you steal his ushanka, he stands up too fast and almost blacks out. He has to sit back down to avoid fainting. He sits there for a solid minute with the dizziest expression on his face. It's hilarious!

🖤🐀 Almost died of hypothermia because he insisted that he "is used to the cold." He thinks he's a lot tougher than he actually is, and part of that is because he wants to impress you. The other part is that he's usually cold because of his anemia, but that isn't going to stop him from catching hypothermia and dying.

🖤🐀 Dunked his head in a bucket of ice to get rid of a migraine, instead of just taking pain meds. This one was Nikolai's suggestion, the absolute bastard. For all his genius, Fyodor can be a real dumbass sometimes.

🖤🐀 He keeps trying to eat things that aren't food! This is one of the lesser-known side effects of his anemia, and usually only happens when he forgets to take his iron supplements. Half the time he doesn't even realize that he's chewing on his pen until you point it out to him!

🖤🐀 He has the weakest immune system, but he refuses to rest and take care of himself. You've had to legitimately tie him to the bed and spoon feed him soup to get him to rest. He insists he's fine, but he really isn't.

🖤🐀 He blacked out on the stairs and just sorta laid there like a rug for a solid two minutes. This happened because he was chasing you after you stole his hat, and he ran up the stairs too fast.

🖤🐀 Despite what you might think, this rat bastard is very much a blushing virgin. As such, it doesn't take much to get him excited. If you can convince him to let you sit on his lap, you're gonna feel him not even seconds later. He gets very grumpy when you tease him about it.

🖤🐀 The longer he goes without sleep, the more he mixes up his words. He also swears a lot more than usual, which is pretty funny in its own right. Nikolai knows this, and loves to pester sleep-deprived Fedya. One time he called Nikolai a "fucking society on tumor, and a fothermucking holy and good to all things disappointment." If you record him while he's sleep deprived, he's going to threaten you to hell and back (but it's worth it, lets be honest.)

🖤🐀 You startled him while he was working and he almost smacked you across the face. He's actually really easy to jump scare while he's engrossed in his work, but proceed with caution because he gets really jumpy and might almost kill you before realizing that it's you.

#bsd x reader #bungo stray dogs x reader #bsd fyodor dostoevsky x reader #bsd fyodor x reader #bsd fyodor #bsd fyodor dostoevsky

[tropical-lycan]

The Foxhole Camp (All for the Game slasher movie AU)

BIG UPDATE : Some concepts art are out you can find them on my Tumblr account! ALSO CHAPTER 1 IS OUT

AND WE GOT AN OFFICIAL PLAYLIST

WARNING -> Spoilers for All for the Game trilogy and dark themes (horror)

I GOT SO INSPIRED BY THIS FANART BY @kururusti, the horror atmosphere coming from that fanart gave me literal chills, I love it.

I just had a crazy idea : what if AFTG wasn't about sports and mafia, but was a 1980s/90s slasher horror movie?

I thought of this because when I was younger I went to a French Summer Camp called "La Renardière" (literally meaning something close to "The Foxhole") and also because I'm a big fan of classic horror movies taking place in summer camps, such as Friday the 13th and Sleepaway Camp.

So, my plot idea is that in this universe, all of the Foxes are not sports player, but summer camp councelors, and they have to take care of kids. And Neil's dad is a slasher coming after them (let's keep his nickname "The Butcher", it's perfect for a slasher).

My plot idea is that Neil is the son of a murderous man (who is not a mafia boss in this version, he's just some crazy dude with an axe) and he ran away with his mother because the Butcher tried to kill them (think of movies like The Shining). They're still on the run because the Butcher really wants to finish the job (not sure why tho I have to think more about it). Like in the original story, Neil's mother gets killed and he is still chased by Nathan. One day the Butcher attacks him in the forest and leaves him to die (well I guess Nathan thought he had killed Neil or something like that, but he was just badly injured and survived). The councelors of the Foxhole Camp find him wounded in the forest while doing camp activities with the kids and decide to take care of him. Wymack who is the person running the camp offers him a job there after he recovers from his injuries (and I 100% imagine Andrew taking care of his wounds ❤️‍🩹). The Butcher will somehow discover that Neil isn't dead and he will try to murder all of them.

Now I'll do a quick summary of how I imagine each character's role with pictures from horror movies to illustrate the vibe (I might do my own concept arts later!!).

Note that the gifs I picked are NOT actor headcanons, it's mostly characters or concepts that inspired my ideas. I'll give the name of each movie/TV show if you're interested.

Also, I forgot to mention, but I imagine this AU taking place in the 80s, with a similar vibe/aesthetic to Stranger Things.

NEIL JOSTEN

(gif is Tommy Jarvis from Friday the 13th)

As I said, the Butcher was originally after Neil, meaning that in that AU he has the role of the Final Girl. Well...Final boy? Let's say final babygirl. He is the character who knows the killer personaly and has a deep childhood history with them (like Laurie Strode from the Halloween saga). Like in the original, he is very secretive and pretends to be someone else because he is afraid his father might find out that he is still alive. He becomes a camp councelor with the other Foxes and loves to play Exy with the kids (Exy still exists in that AU as part of the camp activities). I also imagine that he has no clue how to take care of kids and is still oblivious af. I mean...imagine that guy looking after children it's the funniest thing ever. I'm sure a lot of them ask him about how he got his scars.

At first he doesn't tell the Foxes what really happened to him and pretends he was attacked by a wild animal.

ANDREW & AARON MINYARD

(gif is JD from the Heathers movie, and yes...Heathers kinda is a horror movie???)

Okay maybe I was wrong when I said Neil taking care of kids would be the funniest thing...ANDREW DOING THAT IS EVEN FUNNIER. I kinda imagine him to be like a councelor helping Abby Winfield in the Infirmary (and yeah he steals meds and alcohol). He still has his dark and mysterious vibe (and I kinda imagine him dressing in a similar fashion to JD from Heathers, hence my gif choice). He would also be the guy suspected to be the killer (like Eddie Munson in Stranger Things 4), because he still has his mental health issue in that version. I also think it would be interesting to keep the backstory he has with Aaron and their mother, except they end up in a summer camp and not in an Exy team (it makes even more sense for people to think that he is the killer because of the rumors he killed his mom). Most of the kids find him terrifying, but i'm sure most of them see him as a rockstar or living urban legend. As in the books, he really doesn't give a fuck about his job. He will also be the one to discover Neil's secret, and I want a scene where he directly fights with the Butcher. I also imagine a cute romantic scene where Neil and him will go swimming in the lake at night (i'll probably make a fanart of this <3).

Aaron wouldn't change much compared to the books, I just think he would be really pissed when people accuse his brother of being the killer (while not being sure himself that he isn't). He would often leave the camp without telling people in order to see Kathy (who doesn't work there at all), leading people to believe at some point that he might be dead. I also want a scene where he pretends to be Andrew (who is chased by people who think he is the killer) in order to save him.

Drake, who knows that Andrew is working at a camp councelor, will try to trespass the camp at night in order to get to Andrew. And well...I guess Aaron will kill him as well and it will add more tension within the group (as if there was not enough murders happening there).

NICKY HEMMICK

(gif is Xavier from American Horror story season 9 : Camp Redwood)

Nicky would stay true to himself: proud to be gay and flirty with the male councelors, even though it must be harder for him since this AU takes place in the 80s. I imagine to be the funny guy of the bunch, throwing one-liners at the killer. I think that he would be more invested in the job than Andrew and Aaron.

ALLISON REYNOLDS + SETH GORDON

(I almost wanted to put a gif of Allison Reynolds from Breakfast Club as a joke but well...It's Chris from Carrie, I'd love to see Allison with that haircut)

She would be the stereotypical bimbo, but with more personality when you get to know her. I think Seth would be the first one to die and it would impact her character development and make her wanna take revenge on the Butcher. I imagine Seth to be like the stereotypical jock, still a jerk. This time he is killed by Nathan's axe and not because of Riko. I don't have much more ideas for them yet, but I love to imagine that Allison starts as a typical bitch and then she learns how to survive and becomes a badass character (like Emma Mountebank from the horror game The Quarry).

I think that Seth would be killed while the two of them are...Well...Doing... what camp councelor couples do in 80s horror movies... Allison somehow manages to escape the Butcher and to tell the others that Seth died.

RENEE WALKER

(gif is Robin Buckley from Stranger Things)

I don't have much ideas for Reenee yet but I'm open for suggestions if you guys have ideas. I think her story would stay similar to the original books as well. I just love to imagine that she tries to teach Andrew how to act more friendly with the kids, and making fun of him when as fails miserably to be a sociable human being (come on Andrew, the kids are freaked out by your crazy medicated smile). I also think that in their freetime they like to hang out and throw knives on the camp's archery targets. She is probably one of the most loved councelors.

DAN WILDS

(gif is Deena Johnson from Fear Street)

Dan is trying to do what's best for the kids. Her group would still be divided with the monsters on the other side because she is part of the ones who believe that Andrew might be the killer. She is sceptical when Neil tries to tell the Foxes that there is a murderer running around. Wymack puts her in charge when he has to leave the camp (not knowing that Kevin...well, you know their secret) and she takes that role very seriously, as the leader of the gang and "the rational one".

MATT BOYD

(gif is Chris Washington from Get Out)

I think that Matt would often try to play the role of the hero, fighting the Butcher many times to protect his friends. I don't have much ideas for him either but I'm open for suggestions!

KEVIN DAY + THE RAVENS

(gif is Kurt from Fear Street)

In this version I think that Kevin has something to do with the Butcher too. I'm not sure what, but I'd like to keep the idea that he knows Neil from his former life as well. Maybe he was another victim that survived, or one of his relatives was killed by the Butcher in front of his eyes. In this AU the Ravens are camp councelors from a rival Summer Camp (Evermore Camp). Kevin used to be part of them but he ran away because they have questionable methods when it comes to taking care of the kids (Riko put that fucking knife down, will ya?). Riko would be a psycho bully and a minor antagonist. He would also attack the Foxes and use the Butcher's murders as a cover-up.

Kevin and Riko take the rivalry between the Foxhole Camp and Evermore Camp very seriously. They often battle against each other in events such as Exy competitions and Capture the flag. The Foxhole Camp is considered to be a shitty and dangerous summer camp while Evermore Camp is for rich kids (in a similar vibe to the rivalry between Shadyside and Sunnyvale kids in Fear Street).

THE BUTCHER A.K NATHAN WESNINSKI

Our slasher!! As I said before he would be obsessed with the idea of killing Neil and the Foxes in the most gruesome way possible. The chemestry between the two will be very personal, like most killer vs final girl dynamic in slasher movies. I'm sure he will have some second winds... As for how he will look I don't know for sure? I like the idea that he is wearing an Exy helmet, in a similar fashion to Jason Voorheese's iconic hockey mask.

So yeah that's my idea for this AU. If you guys want to add ideas you can always contact me!! It'd be so cool to see what you think of it :D

I will do fanarts based on that AU if you're interested enough 🫵🫵🫵 I mean we need Neil and Andrew in summer camp staff uniforms...

#aftg #all for the game #AFTG slasher AU #slasher movies #aftg AU #alternate universe #the foxhole camp #andreil #neil josten #andrew minyard

[spennsrs]

Hi~

Anon with the Spencer request, thank you so much it was amazing, I loved it ❤️

Would love to see a 2nd part of it :))

TYPE OF WRITING: friends to lovers drabble CONTENT CREATOR(S): spencer agnew of smosh SONG REC: like or like like by miniature tigers / i wanna be yours by arctic monkeys MARNIE'S NOTE: I KNOW THIS IS LATE BUT !!! its here ..... spence fluff pt 2 baybie !!! also this takes place about a month after the first part, and takes more of a look in spencer's mind! tw for mentions of periods & pain meds !

♡ ༘*.ﾟ this was a bad idea, this was such a bad idea.

this was absolutely not planned out... but a lot of what spencer did around [y/n] wasn't planned. they made his mind short circuit and his heart beat out of his chest.

he had decided on a whim to go home early, not really knowing where he was going. next thing he knew, he was in his car and found his way at [y/n]'s apartment building. well, while i'm here... might as well pay them a visit... he thinks as he headed upstairs, hence where he was now, standing in front of their door and hand outstretched as if to knock.

he hadn't really... told them he was coming, and the regret was really catching up with him. he knew they were home, they told him they were home earlier...

he took a minute before finally coming to a decision, knocking on the door. except... he fucking ran away.

like an absolute child, spencer agnew ran to his car. he basically ding dong ditched them.

he quickly headed down the stairs before getting into his car, his heart beating rapidly. his eyes close as he sits there with shaky hands resting on the steering wheel.

he didn't even want to think about what they looked like opening the door. how confused they probably looked, how their nose probably scrunched up as they looked around. spencer, stop daydreaming... he could practically hear [y/n] playfully scolding him. with a nervous swallow, he buckles in and goes to start his car, but something held him back. he grabs his phone and unlocks it, going straight for his messages with [y/n]. he quickly texts them, hands trembling.

to: [y/n]💕 ' hey, you good with me coming over? ' ' i'm bored and require attention from my favorite idiot ' ' i mean best friend '

it takes them a bit before responding.

from: [y/n]💕 ' yeah ' ' just a heads up ' ' i'm not in the best mood ' ' but maybe a visit from my favorite moron will help me '

spencer instantly frowned before unbuckling and getting out. forgetting about his little... ditch he did, he rushes up the stairs, albeit a bit clumsily, before he reaches their door. he reaches his hand out to knock, and it came back... the fucking ding dong ditch.

wait- since when did he ever knock?

as soon as [y/n] gave him a key to their apartment, that was the way to go. fishing out his keys from his pocket, spencer rummages through the keys before inserting the right one into the lock, unlocking and entering.

"[y/n]?"

he hears a very faint grunt from their room, and he drops his keys on the counter in the kitchen, ditches his shoes, and heads to the room. spencer peeks his head through the door to see a bundle of blankets on the bed, which most likely held his best friend. he can't help the soft smile that tugs at his lips as he heads in, sitting on the edge of the bed as he gently rests his hand on top of the bundle. "hey... your favorite moron is here to help you out." he says softly as the blankets rustle, a head poking out from them.

there was silence for a moment before spencer was tugged to lay down, the smaller frame holding onto him.

oh.

in an instant, it was all clear. [y/n] was on their period.

his arms come around the other, holding them close with a sigh as his hand runs through their hair slowly. he remains quiet as he holds them close, and he feels his t-shirt begin to dampen. where they crying..? "hey, hey... shh, i'm here, [y/n]. it's okay... do i need to grab some pain meds for you?" he asks softly as he angles his head to look at them.

they shake their head as their grip tightens around him, keeping him close.

"gotcha... i'll stay right here then." spencer hums as he adjusts to get a bit more comfortable, pressing a hesitant kiss to their head.

silence... but not an awkward silence. it was comfortable.

until there wasn't silence.

"i love you, spencer. thank you for coming over..." spencer could feel his heartbeat skyrocket, and his breath catches in his throat. "you know... you aren't just my best friend- you're my everything, my rock. you've been here for me through so much... i-i'm sorry for springing this up on you-"

without thinking, spencer tilts their head up to press a soft kiss to their forehead, then their lips. he pulls away and gazes down at them with a soft smile.

"there's no need to thank me... i'm always here for you, and i always will be here for you. i... i love you too." it felt like a weight was lifted from his chest as he spoke those words, gazing at them. they smile a bit before snuggling close. "i'm head over heels for you, [y/n]..." he murmurs as he gives their body a gentle squeeze.

they sigh happily and close their eyes, soon falling asleep. he could feel their breathing even out as they fall asleep, and couldn't beat the smile on his face.

this... might've been a dream, but he didn't want to wake up. soon, he was asleep as well, falling into the best slumber he's had in a while.

ㅤ ೀ ㅤ۫ ㅤ۪ㅤ۫ ㅤ ♡ ㅤ

as the morning light floods through the cracks of the curtains, spencer stirs a bit with a grumble. he blinks his eyes a few times before looking around, then looking down at [y/n] in his arms. he can't help the wide smile that tugs at his lips, sighing a bit. he brings them clsoer and brushes hair from their face.

he could stay in this moment forever... but then their eyes begin to stir a bit, opening slowly.

"good morning, love...." spencer's voice was soft, almost a whisper as he spoke, his fingertips ghosting over their jaw. "did you sleep well? how are you feeling?"

they take a moment before responding, rubbing their eye. "a bit... i slept really well though. the best i've slept in a while.. although if the whole period thing was gone, i would enjoy it a lot more."

spencer laughs softly before pressing a kiss to their forehead, which makes them giggle. "i know, love... want to stay in bed for a bit, before i make breakfast for you?" he asks, twirling some of their hair around his fingers.

"breakfast.. in bed? you don't need to.."

"but i want to." he says softly as he presses their foreheads together. "its what i want to do... i want to do everything for you, [y/n]. i wanna be yours, all yours..." he mutters softly, pressing a kiss to their nose.

he loves the blush that creeps onto their cheeks, chuckling softly.

"i love you so much, [y/n]. please, let me show you how long i've adored you."

"i love you too, spencer."

#marnie's writings #smoshblr #spencer agnew x reader #spencer agnew #smosh #requested by :: anon ! #ITS DONE #smosh x reader #idk how i feel abt it but #its done !! #pls enjoy <3

[jedipoodoo]

This might be a weird request, you don't have to write this okay! But... How about Imperal bad batch ( seperated) and pregnant reader? Hunter turns into the darks side while his wife is pregnant (almost like Anakin and Padme

THIS REQUEST GOT ME LIKE

Ma'am, I will answer any and all requests for a pregnant reader and you know that. I'm sorry for taking so long, but I really wanted to do this one justice 😁

Haunted (Imperial! Hunter x Pregnant!Fem!Reader)

Okay, so most of my Dad Batch shorts mention keeping the baby from the kaminoans and the like, so....what if they couldn't keep the baby from them???

Warnings: labor and delivery, pregnancy (obvi), kidnapping, The Empire sucks, Nala Se is a pain in the shebs, Nobody likes Wilhuff Tarkin. This one is a lot darker than my usual stuff. Dark may be too strong of a word for it, but idk how else to put it.

Notes: what it says on the label. Pregnant reader, female reader. Hunter is manipulated. Protective Hunter, Angst without a happy ending...yet. Dividers by @saradika

"Hold on just a minute more, cyare, we're almost there," Hunter urged. Echo peeked around the corner, signaling for Hunter to freeze. Hunter, holding one of your hands to lead you and wrapping the other around your waist to hold you upright, pulled you against the wall to keep from being seen around the corner. He could hear the slow, meandering gait of a Kaminoan as they walked past the hall, unsuspecting, taking all the time in the world while you struggled not to whimper at the pain in Hunter's arms.

Hunter gently patted your belly, as if that would make everything better.

"You're doing great," He whispered.

"I'm gonna kill you," You growled.

Echo hissed a warning, waving you both forward. The Kaminoan was gone.

Your comm beeped softly, and Hunter snatched it up, trying to get you to move faster when all you could do was waddle.

"Come in, Tech."

"The medical wing has been cleared. Wrecker and Crosshair will stand guard."

"Good. We're two minutes out."

"AHH!" Your knees gave out as a contraction tore through your body, and you almost slipped out of Hunter's arms.

Hunter gently lowered you to the floor to let you catch your breath, "Breathe, sweetheart, just keep breathing," He urged. It was in some stupid holo-article that he had read online, and despite the amount of research he'd put into labor and delivery, that tactic in particular was starting to get super annoying. Breathing was one of the last things on your mind when you had

"Is that one worse than the last few?" Echo asked. He was trying to be gentle, force bless him he was, but his grip on your arm was struggling not to pull you to your feet and drag you to safety.

You looked up at Hunter, and froze. Despite the fact that every single thing he was trying to do at the moment was annoying you to no end, you could see the fear quavering in his eyes.

You all knew that if the Kaminoans found you, as arrogant and self-serving as they were, they would unquestionably seize your child as Kaminoan property, enfolding him (or her) into the sea of identical brothers bred for slaughter. Neither Hunter or his brothers were going to let that happen.

"Osik," Hunter muttered none too softly. You followed his gaze to the floor, where a sticky puddle was forming from your water breaking. Osik was right.

Hunter slipped his arms under your legs and your back and hefted you in the air. He didn't even wait for the all-clear from Echo, he just ran to the med-wing.

"Hunter, I can walk-" but the next contraction stole your breath and proved you wrong. Hunter ran faster, and you could hear Echo struggling to catch up with you. You wrapped your arms around Hunter's neck and prayed.

Wrecker and Crosshair waved you past, sealing the door shut behind you. Only Tech and a single med-droid were in the tiny medical wing they had managed to clear.

"The droid's memory will be wiped the moment we are finished," Tech promised before you could voice your worries. Hunter gently sat you on the table, bracing your feet in the stirrups.

"Her contractions are two minutes and thirty seconds apart," Hunter said. The droid quickly ran a few scans to confirm and Tech handed you a large sheet of paper that hardly counted as a robe.

"Are you ready?" He asked.

You gulped, bracing yourself against another contraction. Whether or not you were ready, your baby was coming.

There was pounding on the door, but you could barely hear their demands of "Open up in there!" over the squalls of your baby.

"It's a boy," Tech said, almost as an afterthought as the droid cut the umbilical cord.

Hunter pressed his lips to your forehead, despite how sweaty and gross you felt. "Good job, cyare," He whispered, "You did so good."

You nodded, unable to think straight. "The baby..." You reached for the child bundled in Tech's arms. Hunter sprung to his feet and took them from Tech as gently as he could, bringing the baby back over to you.

"Oh," You gasped softly, running a finger across their cheek. It was a little sticky, like something that had been dried haphazardly, and their hair was still slick with blood and fluids, but you brushed it out with your fingers, letting the dark curls spring into place as he wriggled with all his newborn strength.

"He looks just like you, Hunter," You whispered.

"The spitting image," Tech had already shut down the droid to wipe its memory circuits, and you took the baby from Hunter, pressing him against your chest.

"Mama's here, Mama's here," You said, kissing the baby over and over.

The pounding on the door had stopped, but there was lots of shouting. Hunter's gaze darted to the door as he heard Wrecker cry out.

"We've got to get you out of here," He said, pulling you to your feet. You stumbled like a newborn fathier colt, leaning against him.

"I-I can't," You gasped. You tried to give him the baby, "You have to take him,"

"I'm not leaving you," He insisted.

"Now is not the time for affectionate stubbornness, Hunter, she's right. You have to get him out of here before-"

There was blasterfire in the hall, and you saw sparks fly as several bolts hit the door. Your son wailed unhappily and you reached for him, only to pull your hand back at the last moment.

"Go!" You begged Hunter, but it was too late.

The door that Tech had painstakingly sealed shut slid open, and eight shock troopers pointed their blasters into the room, aiming for you, Hunter, and the baby.

"Place the infant on the table and step back," Their captain commanded.

"No," Ever the contrarian, Hunter shielded your son from their view.

You hadn't even named him yet.

Just beyond the wall of troopers, Wrecker, Crosshair, and Echo had all been forced to their knees with their hands behind their heads. The bodies of several other Shock Troopers and Kaminoan security troopers were strewn about the hall, dead or alive it was hard to tell, but the Batch wasn't going down without a fight.

Admiral Tarkin stepped into the doorway to take in the damage for himself, but what made your blood run cold was Nala Se standing behind him.

"You will not take my child!" You screamed. stumbling to your feet to stand between your son and the blasters.

"Your child is Kaminoan property," Nala Se said calmly, despite the bodies of her creation littered around her.

"Imperial Property," Tarkin corrected harshly, "Much like your supposed lover and his squad. Lieutenant, you are stripped of your title and imprisoned for your crimes. CT-9901, you are also henceforth removed from your post as Sergeant. You are all under arrest."

"She has just given birth!" Tech finally spoke up, "She will not be going anywhere until she heals! Unless you wish to have her death on your hands?"

You hadn't even named him yet.

Tarkin shrugged, "Dead or alive, it makes no difference." He waved to the troopers who approached with several sets of binder cuffs like the others wore.

"No!" You screamed and leaped at the troopers. You were unable to do more than crash into them, but it gave Hunter a shot at getting through, and that was all you could hope for.

With your son secured to his chest, Hunter dashed out of the room and past the astonished Nala Se and a flabbergasted Tarkin. You smirked to yourself as you slid down to the floor, breathing heavily.

Tech grabbed your arm to steady you, and both of you were grabbed by the troopers

Hunter knew the halls of Kamino like the back of his hand. Once he made it past the original wave, there was little to stop the (former) sergeant of Clone Force Ninety-Nine.

His baby whimpered in his arms, and he hurriedly hushed them.

He'd come back for you later, or maybe his brothers would help you escape, somewhere quiet and peaceful like you'd always talked about after the war. Somewhere you could raise your family in peace.

But for now, he was only worried about doing what you'd said, and that was getting your son to safety.

"It's alright, ad'ika, we're gonna get you out of here," He whispered, pressing his lips against the boy's forehead.

"I'll keep you safe."

Alarms blared to signal his escape, which made it harder to calm the baby, but also simultaneously hid their cries.

Hunter wished that his brothers were with him, but they had all agreed to this. They had all insisted that your child was priority, and they would defend it like one of their Vode, just as they had when you joined them.

Hunter ran faster, on deft feet, always knowing which hall to take in order to avoid a clumsy stampede.

The Marauder was docked in the bay closest to the medwing, Echo needed a checkup after their last mission, but it seemed serendipitous when your contractions started in the early morning. You knew the Kaminoans would see this as openly flaunting your blatant disregard for their authority in their own city. You'd wanted to have your baby anywhere but Tipoca City, but then you'd received orders to return to Kamino with the end of the war.

Hunter grit his teeth, avoiding patrols was keeping him from going as fast as he'd like,and his son's cries were getting more and more agitated. It was a pitiful replacement, but he stuck his finger in the child's mouth to let him suck on it. As soon as he took off, he could give him the formula aboard the Marauder and look him over.

"Most childcare experts agree that there is a distinct possibility that hyperspace travel at such a delicate stage can be detrimental to child's development," Tech's voice echoed in Hunter's mind. But that couldn't be helped right now.

He turned the corner towards the bay, but it was blocked by another squad of Shock Troopers. Before he could think, he drew his blaster.

"Hunter!" You screamed in terror. Hunter's blood ran ice-cold as he spotted you.

You were on your knees, held upright by two troopers, and an Admiral (or someone else who wore one of those gray suits) had a blaster pointed at your head. Tarkin met Hunter's gaze with a smug smile.

"You made a valiant effort in your escape, Sergeant. I can only imagine how much that child means to you."

Hunter shifted the baby, holding him closer. The boy was starting to grow frantic again, now that he didn't have anything to suck on.

"However," Tarkin continued, "Much like yourself, the child is now property of the Galactic Empire. Attempting to steal him is treason."

"If I'm already committing treason, I might as well shoot you here and seal the deal." Hunter focused his aim on Tarkin.

"You could, couldn't you?" Tarkin barked a cold, humorless laugh,

"However, the moment you open fire, Vice Admiral Rampart has orders to shoot at point-blank range."

You shook your head desperately. "Hunter, don't!"

"Hand over the infant, now!" Tarkin said. His lackey in an identical suit pressed the blaster to the base of your throat, cutting off your protest.

"What will it be: the child? Or it's mother?" Tarkin sneered.

It was over. Hunter knew that. Even if he did as you asked, he still wouldn't be able to get past the Shock Troopers. His sons cries were like ringing in his ears as he tossed his blaster to the side.

They took his son from his arms, and all he could say was "Support his head!" as they turned away so that Hunter couldn't even see him anymore, but he listened to his cries as they were dragged in opposite directions.

You and Hunter were brought to what sufficed as the brig in Tipoca City. Tech, Echo, Crosshair, and Wrecker were already there, and they hurried to make room for you to sit on the only bench available. Your legs were shaking terribly, and you were sore all over. The pain medication Tech had given you was starting to wear off. Tech gave you a once-over as best he could without his datapad or any medical gear.

"Most of this recovery takes several months anyway, even without the added stress you've been through," He said, it what must have been an objectively positive observation, but only served to remind you of everything you had just lost.

"Where's the kid?" Crosshair demanded. Hunter couldn't even look him in the eye from the insane guilt he felt at giving up his son. All you could do was cry.

Crosshair cursed and slammed his fist against the wall, though he didn't know what he was expecting from an operation like this. Clone Force 99 had never known failure like this before, it was a foreign feeling to them.

Hunter refused to let himself cry. He had to be strong for his brothers, for you and your son. He had to get you out of there, somehow.

He didn't even know how you could bare to look at him for such a catastrophic failure, but you turned to him and wrapped your arms around his chest, pulling him close to you.

"We...we didn't even get to name him," You whimpered in Hunter's arms.

Hunter's jaw stiffened atop the crown of your head.

"Well, let's name him now."

It felt slightly pathetic, sobbing in a jail cell over a child that had been ripped from your arms, but the idea of naming him felt like a rousing battle cry deep in your soul. The Kaminoans hated the names that the clones gave each other, and despite all the nicknames that they claimed and gave to each other, at the end of the day only their numbers were written on reports and official documentation.

But your son wasn't a clone. He was your son. And he would have a name from birth.

"Asher." You said. Where you came from, the name symbolized hope, of something beautiful and precious being created from the ashes of destruction. Something like your life as a family.

Hunter nodded, gently rubbing circles into your shoulders. "Asher it is."

"CT-9901, you need to come with us."

Ice encased your heart as the shock troopers approached the makeshift cell, deactivating the shield.

"Don't," You begged, looking up at him as your hands dug into his shirt, holding on for dear life.

"I have to," He whispered, working your fingers loose so he could stand.

"She's right," Echo said loudly, standing up.

"Yes, we stay together." Tech stepped between Hunter and the shock trooper.

The trooper did not take kindly to this show of defiance, and drove the butt of his blaster into Tech's stomach. Tech fell to his knees as he gasped in pain, and the others all stood ready to fight, but knowing it was fruitless.

"Enough," Hunter stood, motioning to his brothers to stand down.

"I'll go."

He wasn't cuffed, but there was a blaster muzzle in his back every step of the way. The troopers led him back to the med bay, where several medical droids were still cleaning the room that you had commandeered earlier. The troopers marched him past the room and past a large window where several cadets were going through their checkups. And right in the corner was Asher.

Hunter disregarded the warnings from the Troopers and place his hand against the window, wishing he could catch his son's attention. He was in an incubation box, sound asleep, with monitors strapped to his chest. Hunter was just relieved he wasn't in a growth tube.

"Asher," He murmured as a shock trooper gripped his shoulder, "Your name is Asher."

The troopers all but dragged him to another closed-off room, where Tarkin waited with Nala Se and a datapad. Hunter kept his focus on Tarkin, wondering if the so-called "Admiral" had spent as much time with a hot blaster in his hand than in a comfortable office on Coruscaunt.

"We meet again, Sergeant."

Hunter chuckled, "I thought I wasn't a Sergeant anymore, Admiral."

"I suppose you'd prefer to be called CT-9901, then?"

So the Admiral did know about their chosen names, he just chose not to use them.

"What do you want?" He asked, trying to not let his breathing get the best of him.

"What I need is your cooperation,"

Hunter shrugged, "Sounds simple enough. Just let them go."

He knew it was a fool's dream to think that Tarkin would actually acquiesce to his demands, but he had to try.

"Let my wife, son, and brothers go and I'll do whatever you want."

Tarkin squared his shoulders to challenge Hunter, "Certainly not. That would be a grave mistake on our part. Think of all that we could learn. The Empire has other plans for a force-sensitive child."

Hunter's blood ran cold.

"Oh, you didn't know," Tarkin smiled slyly, and Hunter's hands clenched in an effort to keep from slapping the smirk off his face.

Nala Se handed Tarkin her datapad, "Nala Se's team has performed all the necessary tests and administered the correct vaccinations for your child. A quick blood test showed a count of approximately fifteen-thousand midi-chlorians."

Hunter's throat ran dry, and his ears rang with the sound of his son- Asher's- cries.

"You have a simple choice, Sergeant. Join the Empire freely, stay with your brothers, your partner and your child, or be forced to watch them suffer for your treason."

It wasn't much of a choice, and Hunter knew it. They were offering him the short end of the stick to pull him from the same raging rapids they had tossed him into, but it was either that or drown.

And he would sacrifice everything he was for the chance to protect you and your child.

Post-Script: I know I've used Asher as a name for Crosshair's kid but it fit too well for this AU.

#lizart writes #the bad batch #sergeant hunter #the bad batch x reader #hunter #tbb hunter #sergeant hunter x reader #imperial hunter #tbb hunter x reader #Hunter x reader #Tbb hunter x you #Imperial au #imperial hunter x reader #pregnant reader #dad batch

[hyperfixation-symposium]

I'm a q!Bad defender to my soul, and I want to talk about why I am frustrated with a lot of the (characters) responses to his current lore!!!

I am not talking about the cc!s only the characters!! I don't think anyone intentionally broke into his lore or broken anything lorewise this is just about the characters!

Bad has been on a downwards spiral for a while now, and it has been clear to everyone in his life. However, so few people have acted in this need to help him, and now, they seem shocked that he didn't get better! And that he got worse!

Instead of channeling anything into helping him, they're only pushing him farther away.

When the vacation arc started, it didn't seem to take long for people to realize it was less of a vacation and more a way to excuse his more unhealthy behaviors he was indulging in. However, instead of reaching out, the people in his life told him he needed help, but didn't offer any. They told him he should take a break, but still pushed their responsibilities and expectations on him.

They watched as he got worse, all insisting it was fine with a smile on. But you know who knew, who understood, who tried to do the most for him?

The eggs.

Bad's kids, as well as the other eggs, love their tio Bad. Tio Bad visiting is like Christmas, but for the best armour and supplies. Tio Bad visiting is comfort and dedication, it's safety.

The eggs knew the most about how much he was suffering, and took the most action to help. Because they could tell he wouldn't push anyone to act for him. They were grounding but also incredibly supportive.

Bad could argue about politics with Forever, he could fight and get no credit, he could leave gifts unrecognized and never repaid, all was okay if he had his kids.

Then the furniture gets stolen.

Everyone was quick to jump on him. In a moment all the work he had ever done didn't seem to matter. He was imprisoned unfairly, questioned, hell the way he ran from the place you could tell it bothered him. And he only got 1 apology from Cellbit for that damned day.

It seemed as if everything he did disappeared into the background of Bad taking a (frankly, easy to get) resource. It wasn't right of him to do, but all the sudden he was evil for it. He didn't even do it this time.

If there was one easy thing to push his mistrust of others over the edge, it was that. But it was okay, because he still had his family.

And then the eggs disappeared.

Bad was already low. He had dealt with everything Dapper was hiding from him, Pomme admitting she wasn't well either, but they could get through it together. Family.

And then they were gone. Without a trace, without an indication of where they might have gone.

And everyone goes a bit insane. Forever, one of Bad's closest and most trusted friends, ends up on Cucurucho meds, and then in a coma. While trying to help him, trying to keep the other parents spirits up, no one is doing the same for him. He's alone in his house, talking to a statue of his best friend. Never so far away.

And then finally, when everything is falling apart, he accepts who he is. A demon, an ancient creature capable of terrible things, and a father. A father who will do anything for his children.

Including hurting an innocent.

And now, as people are finding out about this, they're getting upset at him. How could he, reach such a low! But they're not recognizing that they never helped him. They never refused to let him go until he got proper help, hell, the room Forever made for him was so so late in Bad's cry for help. Which is not to minimize it, hell, Bad himself said it was the first time in a long time that it felt like everything was going to be okay. It was the first time he didn't antagonize Ron openly, even gave him gifts. And I feel like that's a show of just how much Bad needed someone, anyone, to be the person he was for them to him.

And now he could loose all of that again.

It all feels like it was doomed to fall. When a person who gives others their everything never gets anything in return, what happens when they run out of things to give? When everything they worked for is gone?

Maybe move away. Where no one can find you. Take whatever is left and go.

Bad's family is shattered. Bad is shattered.

And while I don't blame anyone for being upset at him, I wish it was recognized how much they didn't help him before, how much effort they put towards their own things disregarding him in a way he never did them.

The one major expection?

q!Foolish.

In this essay I will shot for talking too much

Anyways. No proof reading we die like Juanaflippa! Ofc this is all roleplay and Bad's cries for help could be put off or overlooked for many reasons and I don't blame the CC!s for anything I love all the characters. Back to real life I go

#qsmp #q!badboyhalo #q!bad #character analysis #qsmp character analysis #just. ive got him on the brain #my cubito deserves better

[sevcasejay1chicago]

I’m Here - Jay Halstead

Summary: When your body betrays you, Jay makes sure to get you help and remind you he is there.

Warnings: vomiting, IVs, mentions panic attacks

Authors note: Hey guys! I haven’t been doing too great lately, not have I had a lot of time to write, so here’s a fic I wrote a while ago. I needed some comfort this evening. Love you guys!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What was suppose to be an easy morning turned to a trip to Med. Jay noticed how off you were this morning and went to check on you in the kitchen only to find you leaned against the counter, hands braced on the counter and head bent down. Jay quickly moved toward you, grabbing your hips. “Baby? What’s wrong?” He asked, moving to the side a bit to see your face a bit better. You were pale.

“Dizzy.” You whispered, leaning into Jay slightly.

Jay sighed, putting an arm around your chest and pulling you further into him. “I’m gonna pick you up, okay?” Jay warned, knowing you didn’t like being caught off guard.

You nodded in reply, reaching up to put your arms around his neck. You closed your eyes, the movement making stars dance across your vision.

Jay moved quickly through the kitchen and into the living room, settling you into the couch cushions. Jay knelt down in front of you, gently guiding your head between your knees. “I’m gonna call Will, but I really think we should go to med.” Jay stated, rubbing your back gently. When you nodded, Jay grew even more concerned. You never went willingly. “Scratch just calling Will. Let me get my shoes on, my stuff, your purse, and start the truck. I’ll be right back. Just lean back and breathe sweetheart.” Jay cooed, pushing you up and back into the cushions in fear of you passing out while he was gone. You went willingly, allowing Jay to manhandle you as you focused on staying awake.

You listened as Jay ran around grabbing everything. The safe beeped as Jay grabbed his gun and both of your badges, then slammed shut as he moved on to his next task. Drawers opened and shut and his keys jingled in his hand. The front door creaked open, but it didn’t slam shut as Jay was afraid to close it and not hear you if you called out. You heard his truck start and his footsteps as he stepped back into the house, phone to his ear.

“Yeah. Have Maggie get a room open. I’m inbound with her. Lights and sirens so it’ll be 5 minutes.” Jay muttered into the phone. “And Will, I want Nat and April on this. You got me?” Jay instructed, coming and slipping on your shoes and helping you into a jacket. “Thanks man.” Jay finished, hanging up the phone. He turned his full attention back to you. “Okay princess, Nat and April are waiting. Up you go.” Jay said, pulling you back into his arms. “I’ve got a bucket in the car. Will said you might be feeling sick. I didn’t even think to ask. Just relax though. I’ll get you there in no time.”

Will was right. You were feeling sick. All this movement wasn’t doing your head or stomach any favors. You were already feeling pain in your right flank, but the dizziness brought on the nausea. You kissed Jay’s neck in reply, letting him settle you into the passenger seat, buckle you in, slide your sunglasses on your face, and place a bucket in your lap before he kissed your head and closed the door. Jay ran around to the other side, slightly panicked by how complacent you were being at this moment. You were fiercely independent and always let Jay know.

You slipped a hand toward Jay, reaching for the comfort that only your husband could provide. Jay flipped on the lights and sirens as he backed out, making his way toward med before he grabbed your hand in return, kissing the back of it. You leaned your head back, taking measured breaths and trying to ignore the buildings and cars that flew by. Jay was going fast, though he was being extremely cautious, it didn’t help your situation. The thought of him going slower seemed even less ideal, so you said nothing and let your man drive.

“How you doing over there?” Jay asked, squeezing your hand. He could feel a slight trimmer in your hand and heard your breathing, indicating something was wrong or getting worse.

“How long?” You muttered instead, keeping your eyes shut and head back. You had a white knuckle grip on the bucket and on Jay’s hand.

“3 minutes baby girl. What’s goin on?” Jay asked, pulling your hand up again to kiss it as he pressed on the accelerator a bit firmer.

“Nauseous.” You mumbled, trying not to open your mouth too wide.

Jay nodded, though you couldn’t see him. “Alright. That’s okay baby.” Jay soothed, squeezing your hand again. “Use the bucket if you have to. We’re almost there.” Jay encouraged, rubbing his thumb over the back of your hand.

You squeezed his hand and your eyes shut tighter. Tears were rolling down your face as you tried not to lose it. “‘M scared.” You whispered, taking a shuddering breath as you felt the strong urge to gag. You leaned forward, angling the bucket directly under your mouth.

“Shhhhh. Just a minute hunny. It’s alright.” Jay soothed. “I’m gonna get you help. I’m here. Don’t be scared. I have you.” Jay kept up his encouragements as he drove, almost hitting 90 in a 45, but luckily his lights and sirens kept the road clear for him.

Just as the first heaved ripped through you, the overhead to the ambulance bay came into view. Jay slammed on the brakes, loudly screeching into the bay. Your door was immediately flung open as Will grabbed you and placed you on a gurney, switching your big bucket for a smaller plastic one.

Jay came up next to you, instructing Will to park his truck as he helped steady the basin in your hands. “She’s dizzy and just started gagging. She’s been off for a few days, but it just got really bad. Please help her.” Jay plead with April, who you didn’t even notice appear by your gurney along with Natalie.

You groaned, reaching to clutch Jay’s arm as a heave flew through your body and you vomited into the bin he held for you. Everything was swaying and voices were echoed. You could feel every noise in your ears.

“Hey Y/n, you with me?” Natalie called, taking your wrist in her hand as they rotated your gurney. “She’s not responding. Transfer on my count.”

Jay helped transfer you and stayed to the head of your bed, out of the way, but able to help you hold the bucket. Your eyes were closed and you had a decent grip on his arm. You were still there with him. “She’s got a grip on me. Sometimes she gets ringing in her ears when she has a panic attack. That might have started when she started puking. She’s deathly afraid of it.” Jay told Nat, brushing your hair back.

Natalie nodded, helping April put some leads on you and checking your vitals. “This ever happened before?” She asked Jay, turning to reassess your file now that she’s had a look at you.

Jay shook his head. “Found her pale and dizzy in the kitchen. She’s been acting off all week and I thought she was gonna pass out a couple days ago during an interrogation. I asked but she brushed me off and went about her day.” Jay explained. “She’s been having some issues with her PCOS and right flank pain, but this is new.” Jay said, rubbing your arm once April took the basin away when you finished.

You tried to relax, leaning back against the ED bed while Nat talked with Jay. “Nat? ‘S swaying.” You murmured, gesturing around the room. You clutched Jay tighter and closed your eyes.

Nat nodded, taking your other hand. “Okay sweetie. I’m gonna give you something for motion sickness and see if that helps some.” Natalie said to you, squeezing your hand. “April, I’m gonna need a full blood panel, CT, fast ultrasound, and hang fluids with Dramamine at high flow. Jay, you can stay and you have access anywhere. If you guys need anything, let me know.” Natalie said, typing on her tablet quickly. “Do you want any anxiety meds?” She asked you.

You squeezed Jay’s hand. “No. Not yet.” You whispered.

Natalie looked to Jay, but Jay nodded. You were still coherent. This was your show. He would be there to deal with whatever comes. “Thanks anyways Nat. I’ll let yah know.” Jay said, giving your friend a little smile as she exited.

“Okay Y/n, gotta get a line in.” April said to you before turning to Jay. “Wanna keep her occupied while I set up?” April asked, knowing of your fear of needles, just like Jay’s.

Jay nodded, turning your face to his once he moved to the other side of the gurney. “Hey beautiful.” Jay whispered, kissing your forehead. “Your gonna feel better really soon, I promise. I’ll be with you the whole time. I had Maggie call Voight and the team will be here when they can. Everyone is worried about you.” Jay said, smiling sweetly at you, using his hand to keep your face toward him, successfully blocking your view of April. “When your all better, we can go home and watch some Marvel movies and snuggle, sound good?” Jay asked, just as April was about to place your line in.

Just as you took a breath to reply, April slowly inserted the needle, quickly threading the line. “Fuck.” You mumbled, tears rolling down your face. “Not fair Jay.” You hissed, sticking your tongue out at him.

Jay gave his boyish smirk, leaning down to kiss your forehead. “Hey. You’d do the same to me.” He teased, wiggling his eyebrows at you. The man had a point.

April chuckled, watching the exchange between the husband and wife in front of her. “Alright guys. Just gotta get some blood, then I’ll hang the fluids and meds. Y’all need anything?” April asked, quickly drawing your blood as she spoke.

“Ice chips and maybe another bucket?” You asked, sighing and leaning your head back as you suddenly felt queasy at the sight of your blood leaving your body.

“Jay, grab one of those bags behind you.” April instructed, watching as your face flushed again and paled.

Jay moved quickly, still holding your hand as he reached for the bag and quickly shook it out. You grabbed for the bag when your husband was within reach, but he just tucked it under your chin, using his other hand to push back your fly aways. “Shhhh. Breathe.” Jay whispered, rubbing your forehead with his thumb.

You gagged, holding onto Jay’s arm with the hand April didn’t have held down. You tried to take a steadying breath, but you dry heaved again. You swore you could feel the blood leaving your body.

“Okay Y/n. Just flushing it and then the fluids, okay? You should start to feel better soon.” April spoke over your heaves, making eye contact with Jay across the gurney.

You gave a small thumbs up, giving one final heave before you finally brought up a bit of stomach bile. Finally feeling okay, you leaned back and Jay took the bag, tying it off and throwing it into the garbage before he took the cloth April offered him and wiped your mouth.

“How’s it goin in here?” Will asked, popping up in the doorway to return Jay’s keys.

“Not too good man.” Jay sighed, folding the towel to wipe the sweat off your face. “I’ve never seen her this sick.”

“Well, sister in law of mine, Jay demanded the best. So, since you can’t have me, I gave you second best.” Will joked, trying to lighten the mood and hide his concern. It wasn’t really working.

“Ha ha.” You breathed, smiling slightly at Will. “Heard Jay ask for Nat.” You pointed out, raising your eyebrows with your eyes closed.

Jay let out a small chuckle beside you, causing you to open your eyes. You loved his laugh and loved his smile even more. You looked over to Will, finding the doctor feigning hurt in the doorway. “Rude.” Will muttered, hand on his chest and fake hurt look on his face.

“She speaks the truth.” Jay mumbled, enjoying the light banter in the sea of unknowns that faced you. “But seriously man, thanks for getting her all set up. Means a lot.” Jay said, kissing your forehead again and nodding to his brother.

“Anything for her man.” Will said, nodding toward you. “After all, she’s gotta put up with you. Gotta treat her right so she doesn’t throw you on me again.” Will joked, winking at you as he backed out of the room before Jay could find something to throw at him.

You knew you would be okay. No dizziness or nausea would be able to stay long. The Halstead brothers and everyone in the ED would figure this out and make you better in no time.

#one chicago #jay halstead #fluff #one chicago x reader #comfort #jay halstead x reader #anxiety attack #vomit tw #emeto tw #emeto

[thenerdnextdoorxo]

sorry for another rewuest but would u please do avengers! cast x teen reader who has adhd and has trouble staying on task while filming and the directors being mad or something please❤️

No need to apologize &lt;3

"Y/N, not again," Said one of the directors while sighing. "Sorry," you said, already feeling the embarrassment creeping from the back of your neck. "It's the last time I promised," The scene you were filming was taking too long to film and you lost your attention to the scene twenty minutes ago. It wasn't the first time you zoned out and its starting to annoy the staff.

"Y/N please don't mess this one up," You nodded and fixed your shirt awkwardly and looked at Scarlett and she gave you a small smile to comfort you. All you had to do is listen to Scarlett and wait until your line starts. Before the scene even started you zoned out, and when you do, you can't get back from that state. When Scarlett started and her lines and she reached a point where you were supposed to start your lines, but when she looked at you you were clearly zoned out and she flinched, already knowing what is going to happen.

"Y/N, seriously?! I can't deal with you anymore!!" You flinched, you never heard that director scream ever, and that made you get scared. "We keep telling you to focus but you don't listen!!" He screamed. "Hey! it's a kid your yelling to, keep it together!" rdj exclaimed back. "And it's not like it's her issue anyways! we know you have not been paying her enough!" Scarlett screamed.

The directors didn't pay you all your money because apparently you weren't doing enough for their standards. Your adhd meds are expensive and you can't pay for it because you don't receive that much. You told Scarlett that a few weeks back when she found you crying in one of the empty rooms.

"If you started paying her what she deserve then there might be a chance that she wouldn't struggle as much!!" rdj said. By that point you were already crying and couldn't stand there even a little bit longer so you ran towards the bathroom to one of the stalls and hid there. After a few minutes you heard a knock. "Y/N, it's Lizzie and Scarlet, come out we need to talk to you," Lizzie said. You didn't respond, you felt so humiliated from what the director said and didn't feel like coming out.

"It's okay Y/N, we just need to talk to you," Scarlett said. You sighed. You knew that they wouldn't give up at all and would probably wait for you until you came out so you decided to go out anyways. When you walked out you couldn't bring yourself to look at them, you were so embarrassed. "Y/N, we convinced the director to pay you more, he wouldn't cut your pay anymore," Lizzie said. You looked up at them surprised, whenever you tried to convince him to give you your full payment he just refused, so they must have gaslighted him.

"Now if he ever decided to cut your payment you tell us, okay?" Scarlett said. "Okay," You nodded and they smiled softly at you. Ever since that day, that director was not mean to you, not even once, and you have Scarlet and Lizzie to thank for that.

================================================

I feel like this one is kind of bad but idk

My requests are open

edit: omg I miss spelled scarlett's name lmaoo

<3333

#avengers x reader #marvel imagine #platonic marvel #marvel x reader #wanda maximoff imagine #wanda maximoff x reader #natasha romanoff x reader #lizzie olsen #scarlet johansson #wanda marvel #natasha x y/n #natasha x reader

[ask-the-totally-real-peppino]

(I have been trying to write this post for a while, but it keeps coming out like a sob story, and it is really not that deep jkfdgkj

So I am just going to say it, bc you guys know I love to ramble for ages, and I need some opinions

1 year of this blog is tomorrow (or today depending on how long I take to write this kjldfg), and I really do appreciate you all being here - if you have been here since the beginning, or just followed recently - if you've sent an ask, liked, reblogged, shared with a friend, theorised, made fanart, or followed me to my art blog and watched me make (and continue to make) a billion clones, anything; thank you

I made this blog on a whim, only like a week after getting into Pizza Tower, and I had no idea it would turn into what it is now

Of course, in the beginning there were a lot of actual posts, like with backgrounds and multiple characters, and I'd post several times a day if I could - and while I was having fun, it was not ideal - I'd frequently post at 7am after spending all night working on a post then I'd pass out, I'd forgo eating or showering just to draw, and I had wrecked my wrist several times, and continue to push pass the pain just to post

It wasn't just hyperfixation, it was obsession - much easier to realise that in retrospect

I was also medicated at the time, I had been on antidepressants for 3 years, so around April (I think) I ran out of meds and was unable to get more due too third party issues/unable to get in contact with my doctor/etc (and unbeknownst to me at the time, the last two packs I had were expired) - so I am sure you can imagine the sort of affect suddenly going cold turkey on the med that make you not wanna die has on a person - I was not doing great to put it lightly

But I still wanted to continue - so many people had praised me on the frequency of posts, and how excited they were and all this validation - I couldn't let people down! (Also I was, and still am, a disabled shut-in loser with no friends, posting is like the only social interaction I had/have kdfgkgfd)

But I think I did - I intimidated myself out of drawing main posts with how much work they were, started the intermission even though I said I shouldn't, had no script or direction and that I was not 100% invested in to try to motivate myself back into main posts, and it was just easier to draw silly ooc posts than do the thing I really wanted to do instead

Of course, this is not any of you guys' fault - I have always had this issue of starting something, it getting way bigger than I can manage, crashing and then just unable to get going again - I have so many unfinished comics, half-done projects and abandoned askblogs it's not even funny - but it's also like, not the end of the world, if I don't finish things I start for fun - sure, I'll feel guilty as hell for a while, but life moves on

So that being said, I would still very much like to continue the story here - I have been working on some stuff in the background (I even updated Pep's reference in the last few days, with a ton of new stuff), but I still don't think it's gonna be soon - I am doing somewhat better than I was, and I actually have an appointment for with my doctor finally (I will probably have to do some reassessments since they can't just put me back on the meds, after not having them for almost a year, and then I'd have to probably get reaccustomed to side effects etc), so despite it all I am still here

I am not sure if I want to continue the intermission with Bean and Fiend at this time - I know a few folks enjoyed it (mostly bc Fiend kjsdfkj) - but as mentioned previously it was unplanned, unscripted, and I was quickly not feeling it, as I am sure some of you guys were too - the intention was for Fiend to give you guys another hint to the main story, but getting to that point was not fun - I might do a poll on this in a separate post

I also mentioned a while back that I would be cutting down the Big Post into smaller posts, and posting as and when parts were done - but once again, do not expect these soon - (although there is a very late Valentines post coming hopefully soon)

And I think that should hopefully be it for now - I know this is a huge post, and probably still a bit sob story-ish, but oh well - I also know that the hype for Pizza Tower had unfortunately died down significantly, but I'm still working on PT stuff on my art blog @smalltimidbean if you wanna see more silly things (and maybe some lore for here hehe)

It is also the first now, so happy birthday Pep

Okay, thank you, and see you later)

#ooc post

[alexanderlightweight]

Hi, hope both of you are doing great. This is for Writing Wednesday. Can you write where Alec is the Trueblood heir because he has some sort of Family gift, like sentient hadow wielding? Sentient shadows that are VERY attached to Magnus because they feel safe around him or something? Always felt that it was a damn shame the series never delved more into this other than the Fairchild's

Also because I forgot in my effort to post before I ran out of energy but you’re so sweet so an answer!

We are both doing good! Just tired and a little sore from keeping up with a puppy. Nightshade is very uh… emotional and he punished @saeths because I woke up to give the puppy kisses when Nightshade asked and saeth pushed him away so we have a very grumpy pup that is only angry with saeth. So when saeth woke up to take meds, Nightshade decided to tap dance on their body and then try and eat their toes in revenge for being ignored. Mind you, he’s ten months so he’s still learning manners but boy his little toe beans know exactly where to poke to cause the most pain.

And then Saeth crashed again and Nightshade went into the bathroom to cry in the tub and now he’s outside ‘guarding the house with his favorite stuffie’ and sulking.

(Btw, Nightshades preferred method of waking someone up is getting on the bed and staring at them until the sheer panic of being stared at hits your instincts and you wake up… though that might just be me since it never works on saeth, they just push him away while I give Nightshade kisses and end up getting my face washed)

okay so this might be my last fill for the night because this was quite a bit heavier than i expected to go but like. it went far different than what i'd planned so i hope you like it and uh. warning for shitty lightwood parenting (child abuse)

this is gonna need a second or third and possibly fourth chapter and i love your prompt anon, i really do. but everyone keeps giving me these glorious ideas that turn into wips and i just. you all are on point with the prompts. this is like the 10th one thats turned into a two shot or more

oh also baby alec

-

Alec knows he’s the Lightwood heir. It’s why his parents married, to bring new blood into the Lightwood lineage and while the Trueblood’s had once been just as powerful, their powers had faded through the centuries.

Alec is supposed to be the culmination of two ancient bloodlines. Born of a bridal sacrifice from a marriage between an already diminished bloodline to the fading Lightwood house.

And it works. 

Just not in the way anyone thinks of hopes.

Alec is seven the first time he’s struck for no reason. It’s not training, it’s not sparring, it’s not anything except he disappointed his parents.

He feels cold after, the pain fading but the betrayal lingering and the next day, he feels dazed. Like the world is a new place and he is rediscovering it. 

Alec doesn’t show his face all day. Not to anyone, even Izzy and especially not to his parents.

He ignores when they finally notice he’s missing, screaming and calling him until they upgrade to threats. He doesn’t notice the disturbed looks being sent at his parents, or the concern that is growing as Alec continues not to be found.

Alec stays hidden, alone and sustained by the shadows until he feels strong enough to face them. He doesn’t know what he looks like, when he crawls out of a hidden alcove and takes the shadows to the observation room. 

His mother looks pale, almost frail when he sees her and he doesn’t really get it. She doesn’t look as scary now, as when her palm had connected with his cheek. It’s the same with his father, from the glimpses he’s seen, the man looking smaller, not as tall and menacing as he did when he’d cuffed both of Alec’s ears and yelled at him for an over for forgetting an answer the same day mother struck him. 

Of the two, it’s his mother he’s willing to face first because even if she struck first, her blow was the softer of the two so he steps out of the shadows and speaks for the first time in longer than he knows has passed.

“Mother.”

—

Maryse turns, relief flooding her even as anger fights to overwhelm it. 

It’s been nine days.  Nine days since her heir, her son — the very reason for her marriage has been missing — and Maryse doesn’t understand how or why he disappeared.  She turns, ready to berate him, to scold him, to make him understand that whatever happened is unacceptable and can’t happen again. Because she has to make him know he can’t ever disappear like he did again, and then she’ll take him to her private quarters and hold him close in a way she hasn’t allowed herself since Izzy was born.

But when she turns to look at him, words already formed on the tip of her tongue, she can’t.

Because her son is truly her son, she realizes as she shakes and grips the railing and tries not to wail.

The son in front of her is not the heir she birthed, nor the heir she was married to Robert for.

The son that is in front of her is a Trueblood heir, through and through and Maryse’s soul aches with the loss she knows she’s been dealt.

Because Alec doesn’t trust her.

Maryse understands that in an instant. Can tell by the way that shadows flicker around him and dance at his feet, daring her to come close enough for them to strike.

“Alec—” she whispers and ignoring all the shadowhunters watching her, she carefully slips out of her heels and gets on her knees. “Hi baby.” She says, just as quietly but Alec doesn’t react, like he doesn’t understand the meaning of the endearment. In that moment, Maryse feels more hollow than when she realized she wouldn’t survive the Circle, that her heir and unborn baby wouldn’t survive Valentine.

Because Alec is looking at her like she’s the monster he needs to hunt, to watch for, to be wary of, to kill.

And Maryse can’t remember the last time she was soft enough to him for him to trust her, what words or gestures will bring him back to her and not further away.

He tilts his head, beautiful hazel eyes hidden behind the darkness of shadows and watches her like a predator watches a possible opponent. 

“I’ll be in my room, mother,” he says and he nods like he’s a shadowhunter giving a report. Like he’s telling his commander his whereabouts and not his mother who has been missing and grieving him for over a week.

“Alec,” she calls after him hesitantly, forcing herself not to follow him. “Baby—” she tries again to no avail, “have you eaten? Have you drank anything?” 

Because Maryse hasn’t let herself worry about her son, her first baby, and now she sees his wane face and she wonders if it was less because she was focused on finding him, or if it was because it was easier not to care about him. 

“I take care of myself.” Alec says, his little voice too young and high for how cold it is and he refuses to turn his back to her as he walks past. “You taught me that.”

And Maryse barely manages to wait until he leaves hearing range before she’s covering her face with her hands and screaming in anger and rage and pain. When she’s hoarse and exhausted she gets herself up, slips her shoes back on and turns her face as cold as adamas and goes to find her husband.  When she sees Robert and she knows he’s heard that Alec’s reappeared and she notices that just like her, his first reaction is anger, not relief. 

And maybe, it would make her a better wife, to warn him of what he’ll find when he ignores her suggestions to wait until Alec approaches him. But their relationship has never been about spousal support beyond that of respect and politics. So she follows, at a distance and while she’s prepared for a lot when he finally enters Alec’s room and she stays outside, she’s not prepared for Robert’s angry bellow and then a vicious, loud crack.

She runs in, hand on her blade and fearing the worst but it’s both less and more awful than she thought. 

She realizes, as she makes it through the door that she thought it would be Alec, lying on the floor and it sickens her, to realize some part of her had expected and allowed Robert to go after him in violence. 

It’s not though. It’s Robert, eyes dull with pain and his breathing heavy and he’s lying in a broken heap. 

His spine has been shattered, in a multitude of places, Maryse has seen similar injuries during her time in the Circle, but even then she’s never seen any so brutal. 

Alec, her baby is watching her though, eyes just as cold as earlier but something more dangerous in them and she realizes he thinks she’s about to attack him too. She lets go of her hilt and unstraps it’s sheath, letting it fall to the floor and she drops her stele too. Then she takes off her shoes like she did when he reappeared and she realized everything had gone wrong, so she’s closer to him.

“Are you okay, baby?” She asks, soft as she can and then she wails internally when Alec looks at her with even more suspicion. “It’s okay, Alec. You did good okay, you protected yourself and the—” Maryse swallows, her mouth suddenly dry, “the shadows protected you too. Just like a Trueblood, my blood.” Because she needs to connect with him quickly, before she loses him forever.

“If you hit me again.” Alec says and Maryse wants to cry at the fact that it’s again, that she didn’t even realize it had ever happened. “You won’t have a hand to hit me with anymore.” And he shrugs, “they say so.”

Around him the shadows writhe around in possessive, covetous agreement and Maryse remembers the stories of her family. The ones that were spoken of less and less as their powers diminished. 

“I won’t, Alec. I won’t and if I do, then that’s your right. Their right to protect you. Even if it’s from me.” Especially if it’s from her because those shadows recognize blood and they’re furious with her. Maryse can feel it in the slight echo of resonance that if she doesn’t prove herself. They will kill her and raise Alec themselves, like they’ve done for so many Truebloods orphaned by war. 

“You didn’t react like him. When I came back, I thought you would.”

And Maryse wants her little boy back. The one who promised to protect his baby sister and to be a good hunter and who followed Maryse around like a little shadow.

He was always meant to be a Trueblood, she realizes mournfully and she reaches out a hand, letting it be coated by shadows that could rip it off as easily as she breathes. Hesitantly, more for Alec’s sake than her own fear, she presses her fingers to his tiny face and wonders how she ever could have hit him.

“I’m here, okay Alec. I’m here and I’m sorry.” Because she is and it’s not enough, not with the way he still is wary but that’s okay. He doesn’t have to forgive her, ever. He just has to let her stay, let her try. “Come with me, baby?” She begs, “we can light the fire in my room. Give the shadows plenty of room to dance in, you can tell me how they feel and I’ll tell you stories, okay? Of where they’re from—” her lip wobbles as he nods, a little tiny movement she feels against her palm more than sees. 

“Okay, okay. Just, let's go okay? I’ll have someone else deal with your—” and she pauses when Alec bristles, “with Robert. Okay?” 

He relaxes a bit then and when Maryse steps past her shoes and sword and stele and into the hallway and holds out her hand, he follows, the shadows pulling up her stele to drop into his tiny grip.

“We’ll need it. To call for cleanup.” He says, calculated and callous and sounding so much like her and Maryse realizes how blind she’s been. Because becoming like her is never what she wanted for her children, especially not her firstborn who loved so eagerly and trusted so wholly. 

— and she broke that, her and Robert and it may never be fixed and they’ll have to live with that, she’ll have to live with that — 

Alec keeps a hold of it, even as his tiny, too-thin fingers take her hand and Maryse doesn’t care how much pain Robert is in. He can suffer until Maryse first gets Alec secured and fed and if someone hasn’t found him by then, then she’ll call him aid.

He won’t die from a broken spine.

Valentine’s nephilim victims never did, not until he wanted them to.

They walk slowly, and Maryse gives the first shadowhunter she sees a warning look and they nod and it’s the last of her hunters that they see.

Alec seems to relax the further they get from Robert and Izzy is sleeping in Robert’s room and Maryse doesn’t know how Alec will react to going in there, so she leaves Izzy safe where she is.

The fire is easy to light even without a stele, because Alec won’t give it up yet and Maryse doesn’t want him to risk using it so young and with his Trueblood newly awakened. 

The shadows dance and writhe with contentment and Alec relaxes the longer they play.

“I’m not the Lightwood heir anymore, am I?” Alec asks and he sounds less cold and more confused and Maryse watches with her heart in her mouth as he finally picks up a glass and she could weep when he finally, finally takes a sip of water.

He seems surprised by how thirsty he is and Maryse wishes she needed to tell him to drink slowly but it seems he already knows, drinking half the glass with careful sips and then setting it down. Even though it’s clear he wants to pick it back up and finish it off. 

“No, you’re the Trueblood heir, my heir.” She tells him because she needs that claim to him before it rips away.

“But you’re not a Trueblood anymore.” 

And it’s just a statement, but it hits harder than a blow and Maryse takes a deep, centering breath.

“Well, I will be.” Maryse says and she knows it’s true the moment she says it. “You’re father and I are going to break our union. He still has an heir, Izzy and now I have one as well.” And because Alec still looks confused she reaches out and very carefully, brushes his hair out of his eyes. “We didn’t marry for love,” and with a sinking suspiciounn when Alec doesn’t even blink she adds, “but you know that.” 

And he nods and says, “you married and had me because you were told to.”

He says it so matter-of-fact, like he isn’t breaking Maryse’s heart the way she must have broken her son’s. And then a terribly, heart-wrenching thought slithers into her mind.

 “Alec, do you think?” And Maryse’s heart hurts to even voice it aloud, “do you think you were born for duty? And Izzy for love?”

Alec shrugs and in the comfort of his shadows, he gives in and swings his little feet on the too-tall chair.

It’s adorable and Maryse vaguely remembers scolding him the last time she’d seen it.

“You had me for politics. Izzy could’ve been a spare, but you told me I had to protect her. That she was special and precious and needed to be kept safe above all else, including me. So I figured she must have been made for love.”

Maryse is crying, she realizes, silent tears rolling down her cheeks as she wonders how she and Robert broke apart their family so very completely, in that Alec’s original pure devotion to his sister has turned into a self-sacrificial mantra based on her and Robert’s failures. 

Because Izzy was hope and love. She was an attempt to renew a broken relationship and an excuse to leave the Circle and she was so innocent, when Alec was already becoming jaded from the world around him. She wants to deny it but she can’t and she rattles out a shaking breath, because she’s going to fix this.

Somehow, soon, she’s going to fix this. Even if she has to break apart herself, and Robert and her own world.

“I’m going to take care of this, all of it. I’ll fix it okay. What do you want, baby? What do you want me to do?” And Maryse is being cruel, asking Alec to help her help him but she doesn’t know what her son wants, what his dreams are, or if he has any.

“Can we stay here?” He asks finally, “the angelic core is really nice and the shadows like it. I think it likes me too.” And oh, if Maryse doesn’t shudder to hear that, if she doesn’t swear the clave will never know how precious her child is, “I don’t want to leave. I don’t want him here either.”

“Then I’ll make it happen. If, if Robert goes, Izzy might go with him.” Maryse 

“So I’ll be here by myself?” He asks, and he seems a little disappointed but not surprised and MAryse shakes her head fiercely. 

“No, alec. It will be you and me here, and we’ll visit Izzy.”

“You won’t go with Izzy?” He asks, like he’s surprised staying with him is even an option. “No baby, she’s Robert’s heir now and while I love her.” Alec doesn’t seem surprised by that, but his eyes light up in surprise and awe when she says, “but I love you too, baby. And you’re my heir now, that means you’re my priority, and she’s his.”

Because Maryse is the only parent who can protect and love Alec left, Alec has effectively cut himself off from the Lightwood line and disowned Robert as his parent. 

“I’m your priority?” He asks, like he’s never heard anything so wondrous in his life and Maryse leans over and doesn’t care if her bones are broken or her flesh is torn as she carefully, like she’s embracing something as delicate as a butterfly's wing, wraps her arms around her son.

“Yes, Alec. You’re my priority, my Trueblood baby, even the clave won’t argue with your shadows, Alec. I love you and I’m going to keep you safe now.”

Because she hadn’t before. 

#writing wednesday #writing wednesdays #shadowhunters #shadowhunters au #lumine writes #my fics #my fanfics #my ficlets #alec lightwood #maryse lightwood

[sunspill]

Hi I'd like to take back every nice thing I said about my surgeon.

This is a venty and /lengthy/ post about my experience with an accelerated emergency hysterectomy (<2wks from diagnosis to surgery). I'm adding a cut in case medical stuff is triggering for anyone or if you're like "I've heard enough outta you about doctors" (understandable).

I'm struggling to sleep rn in a hospital room so I'm venting to distract while I wait for my nurse to check in with me about more morphine.

So my gyn and my surgeon are the same person, an OBGYN in San Francisco. He was the only would who could see me after multiple ER and 2 urgent care visits for severe pain in my abdomen. Eventually the ER orders an ultrasound. a surprise vaginal ultrasound that I was not informed would involve insertion of the wand into my vagina until the tech told me to take off my underwear. They had told me it would be a stomach ultrasound to look for masses. I'm still... unhappy about this. It hurt and the tech was like "all women get these its fine". Anyway, I had one moderately large fibroid and possibly scar tissue and smaller masses.

Sidenote: I'm not sure if i have ever felt being viewed as less than human more in the ER. Downplaying my symptoms, telling me the ER doesn't dispense pain medication (which they later did multiple times), that fibroids don't cause any pain, accusations of drug-seeking, and multiple insinuations that I was pregnant or otherwise lying. One such accusation was a question posed to my partner about if we ever had threesomes with men or if maybe I cheated on them and contracted pregnancy or STD. Oh and when I got diagnosed they didn't say "it's fibroids" they said "there's at least one tumor in your uterus" like ! Why would they say it like that?? Every nurse was pissed to be there and I strongly believed one of them hard painful pricked me in my wrist instead of my elbow because they were annoying I was sobbing in the room outside the nurses lounge. When my partner confronted them about that choice they were like "well we can remove it but you won't get fluids or meds then". It hurt for 2 days afterwards. I had been to urgent care and the er previous to this and had no issues with the inner elbow.

I called gynos all over the place but no one else except this doctor, lets say... Dr Yan, could see me within 3 weeks. My PCP refused to provide pain management and I had been out of work for a week and half, returning to the ER multiple times because I was screaming in pain for hours. The ER would prescribe a small amount of prescription pain killers, I would try to make them stretch, and then I would have to return to the ER. I was bedridden from pain. Planned Parenthood couldn't help with treatment but told me based on the ER imaging I might have adenomyosis, for which the only "cure" would be to remove my uterus, removing just fibroid is much more difficult with adenomyosis.

So I was desperate and Dr Yan was willing to do a hysterectomy as well as willing to push my insurance company to get it done fast as I was pulling no income - I ran out of PTO after a week of calling out. I felt I needed it fast and it started to hurt more whenever I ate or drank. He somehow got it moved to yesterday.

But he was awful. He wouldn't give specific answers to my questions, he barely walked me through what the procedure entailed after my partner pressed harder, and kept saying it is a very common procedure that is easy and not painful.

He lied to me, saying I'd be home the same day and a nerve blocker administered during surgery would keep me numb for two days. The recovery nurse told me that's not true. He insisted that pain would be minimal and his patients were fine with otc pain management. He said it needed to be abdominal, which I have since learned is not the case and is the most painful and longest recovery time for hysterectomy

The only thing he reiterated and talked about was how I would be unable to get pregnant, which was the only thing I *already* knew. 

He did one physical exam during initial appt which was pushing on my abdomen, ordered no additional imaging or appts, and literally disappeared into another room while my back was turned signing forms. I had to sit in the waiting room for another 20 minutes to get him to sign insurance and leave of work papers.

He was 20 min late to my pre-op appt and his office had no idea why. he performed a pelvis exam on me, externally and then inserted his fingers into my vagina for an internal exam without telling me. I had never had a pelvic exam before. It hurt enough bc he did not use lubrication. My partner confronted him angrily and he said he knows what he's doing and the exam was over anyway. He told me again the surgery would be simple.

I woke up screaming in observation, where i was given Tylenol. The surgical nurse lied to me and said they had already called my partner. After an hour of pain they moved me to a recovery room, where I had access to my phone and called my partner, who had not been contacted and rushed over. I was alone and crying out in pain.

The nurse told me that they could only give me Tylenol because Dr Yan had left the hospital without putting in orders for me aka authorizing use of moderate to severe controlled painkillers. They said as soon as they could get him on the phone they could give me something for the pain because I had been given 4 grams of Tylenol and couldn't have more. Dr Yan never answered the phone.

I am not joking when I say this next part, because I was able to track the time through my chart just now to get exact numbers and times. I came out of surgery no later than 800am. In a recovery room by 9. I screamed, absolutely not an exaggeration, I was crying out and sobbing and could not think, I was sweating and my entire body was shaking. I was dry heaving and spitting up bile, which made the pain worse. I don't remember anything except the pain, although apparently i did say some funny things to my partner coming down from the general anesthesia (thought we were in grocery outlet).

At 2:14 the hospitalist gave up calling and admitted me, transferring care away from Dr Yan. At 4:45pm they administered a very lose dose of morphine, and I finally stopped screaming. It was still very painful, and my partner timed me - I would sleep for 1-7 minutes, then wake up crying out in pain for 3-10min, repeat. The nurse told me I would receive stronger pain management when I had a room.

At 430pm they transfered me to my room, which involved the transport guy hitting my bed against the counter. The transfer from bed to bed was so jolting I started screaming again, which lasted until 445pm, when they administered triple the dose of morphine given earlier.

This has been the most painful experience of my life. The Dr said no more morphine and would administer those opiate pills cut w ibuprofen or whatever. They would give me just enough to cut my pain back from 10 to 6/7, then make me wait until 10, then make me wait crying out in pain while they got the dr to put in an order for more. It was like reps of a gym set except the absolute worst pain based version.

Around 6pm, my partner advocated aggressively as my pain was only receding to a 8 or 9 and I could no longer nap or drink water due to the pain. My muscles were so clenched I tore my paper gown. The nurse (who had seen all of this go down and was b attentive) recommended to the dr that I receive straight oxycodeine via IV. My doctor, who saw me once when i was transfered which consisted of introducing himself, said I didn't need such a strong medicine and I should take tramadol instead.

The tramadol had almost no effect, and I was then told I couldn't have the oxy because I had gotten the tramadol instead. By 630 I was at a 10 and screaming again. The dr ordered a lidocaine patch (no effect).

At 655 a new dr replaced the previous and immediately ordered dilaudid. My pain finally dropped to a 5.

At 830pm guess who fuckin shows up in my room. Dr Yan, who's like "you don't seem in pain" SIR I HAD SO MANY DRUGS INSIDE ME AND I WSS STILL AT A 5. And I needed two people to get me to the bathroom (5 ft away). He shows me a picture of the biggest mass, says I'm fine, offers no explanation for why he fucked me over so badly, and leaves. I should have demanded information but my throat hurt from crying and screaming and I had only slept 2 hrs in the previous 2 days.

The recovery nurse apologized profusely to me and said she believed he had been grossly negligent. The anaesthesiologist came and told me my body eats painkillers and anesthesia with a strong natural tolerance, and that some of the refusal to give more or stronger dosages was probably because doctors basically read charts, and would see that I had been administered a lot already. They would then decide that was enough based on what they believed to be averagely appropriate. Even tho I have it documented from his hospice ICU care notes that my dad had a similar tolerance. The recovery nurse agreed as she had been observing me, administering the meds, and see my-clearly-caused -by -pain symptoms continue.

The night nurses and doctors have been better. I got some more morphine just now, and a sleep aid that didn't work but I appreciate they tried to address that issue.

Anyway jeez if you read everything you deserve a medal. My memory has been very poor due to drugs and pain so I've been trying to work out a timeline of what happened. I know it's kind of a baby thing because no one attacked me and I don't seem to have surgical complications and after all this the hospital is sending me home with opiates, but I feel kinda shell shocked. It felt crazy to be lying in the hospital screaming in pain for hours and hours just for someone to come in every hour and say their hands were tied even tho the hospital is the only place for strong pain relief that isnt like, street fet. I removed an organ, I knew it would hurt, but I've never in my life experienced anything like that. It was worse than all other pain I've had combined. I thought i was going to die.

Anyway the nurse is giving me Ativan! I hope to rest now. Cross your fingers for me and stay away from DR YUAN DA FAN OBGYN SUTTER HEALTH SAN FRANCISCO.

#tw medical... trauma? #i feel guiltu calling it trauma #hysterectomy #cos ppl have had such severe medical trauma and im... mostly ok now #with the morphine im at 3 #lowest ive been since this started

[samcscreams]

Theres nothing you can do that would make me leave

Hi friends and Happy Halloween! Here is a Halloween one shot nobody asked for. I had so much fun writing this one. I do hope you all enjoy. Also if you want to read on AO3 here's the link.

Also shout out to @monarchsrus and Baileyrhapsody for their help while writing. I am nothing without the help of my friends!

Also I am dyslexic and will proof read more later! Please bare with me until then.

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It had only been a month since she killed Richie. A month since her eye’s had glowed and she brushed it off as her meds not working. A month since something inside her shifted. In the moment it was easy to brush off, to say it was exhaustion or the comedown after intense trauma. But with each day that passed Sam found it harder and harder to ignore. 

It started small in the beginning. Her stab wound healed in an unnatural amount of time. Then her temper started to get out of control. Then Tara noticed almost every time Sam picked up a glass it would shatter. Sam had an excuse for everything and anything Tara questioned. That was until the nightmares got out of control. 

Every one was the same. A dark beast, a wolf, chasing Sam relentlessly gaining on her heels causing her to wake in a broken sweat. It felt as though each time she had the dream the wolf got closer and closer to attacking. Tara would wake up to find Sam curled up at the foot of her bed whimpering like a dog but as soon as she brought it up to Sam, she acted like it didn’t happen. 

The real final straw was when Tara would say things under her breath and Sam would hear her word for word. 

“Baby girl you have to eat so you can take your meds.” Sam said in a gentle yet firm tone as she walked away, into the kitchen to make herself some food. 

“I don’t even like casserole” Tara muttered under her breath. 

“If you had told me that I wouldn’t have made it” Sam yelled from the kitchen leaving Tara in utter bewilderment. 

Tara felt a million questions flash in her mind, something was off with her sister and she needed to figure out what. 

A few days had pasted since then and Sam found herself having another sleepless night. She shook awake hearing herself yelp out in her sleep. The cold light from the near full moon illuminated her room. She turned over and grabbed her phone to check the time. 

“4:48. Perfect” She said setting her phone back down. Every night she seemed to be getting less and less sleep. She had only fell asleep two hours ago, it was like her body was restless and needed to move. 

Getting out of bed she headed to the bathroom, she realized that after waking up she was covered in sweat so she might as well clean herself up. 

Once making it into the bathroom Sam stood in front of the sink and took herself in. She noticed the dark circles under her eyes from her lack of sleep and the way her body seemed on edge as if it was looking for a fight. 

She turned the faucet on and ran the water until it turned warm. She splashed her face hoping the warmth of the water would relax her body. Once she was done she dried her face off and looked at her reflection. 

Her eyes flashed a golden yellow causing her to stumble back. She rubbed her eye hard as if it was simply something in her eye. Sam looked up again to see her dark brown iris’s staring back at her. 

She took a deep breath as she griped the sink accidentally letting her mind wander to memories from the past month. 

The way she constantly felt on edge, how she couldn’t control her strength, how everything was always so loud. The mere thought of why sent a chill down her spine.

Sam looked up once more to see her eye glowing again, but this time she didn’t look away. Something in the back of her mind knew the truth but she could never say it. Admitting it out loud would be more insane than just thinking it. Yet she could feel her bones vibrating beneath her skin, the way her teeth ached inside her gums, and how the porcelain sink started to crack under her grip. She wasn’t in control. 

Just then she heard a knock on the bathroom door. 

“Sam?” Tara asked on the other side of the door. 

Sam quickly tried to blink away the glow in her eyes.

“Are you okay? Im here if you want to talk” Tara added

“Go away Tara” Sam snip out harsher then she intended. 

Tara immediately regressed to her childhood self, once again begging for her big sister to let her in. But she wasn’t a kid anymore. She had years to sit with her emotions, and for Tara time didn’t heal all wounds it just turned them into anger. 

“You don’t get to fucking do that Sam” She barked

“You don’t get to leave and come back and treat me like you used to” Tara could feel the tears pooling in her eyes but she didn’t care.

Sam inside the bathroom could feel the panic creeping up her neck. She knew she was in the wrong once again but she couldn’t let her sister in. What if she hurt her?

“So you're not even gonna say anything?” Tara waited a few more seconds to allow her sister time to rebuttal. 

Sam tried hard to find the right words. But her fears were taking over leaving her mouth dry and empty. 

“Somethings wrong, I can feel it… So i’m… I’m coming in” Tara said as she turned the door handle. She was nervous beyond belief at what Sam might do to make her leave again. 

Once opening the door she saw Sam just standing in front of the mirror with her eyes closed. Tara could even see how stiff her body was. Tara mindlessly walked over and slipped her arms around Sam’s waist hugging her from the back. 

“Whatever it is you can talk to me” Tara whispered into her sister.

Sam’s mind was on fire as it burned with all of it’s what ifs. Initially when her sisters arms graced her skin she tensed up but the warmth of the embrace soon washed over her allowing her to relax into the hug. But Taras words rattled in her ears. 

‘Talk to her, just tell her the truth. What even is the truth.’ She thought to herself. The more she tried to find words the more she felt her anxiety rise and her grip on the sink tightened causing cracks to splinter out like a spider web. 

“I don’t know what’s happening to me” Sam finally mutter out through a thick voice, her words sending a shiver down her spin as her emotions begin poor out. 

Tara squeezed Sam tighter as she felt her big sister let out a sob. 

“I know, but we can figure this out together. You just have to talk to me.” Tara reassured her sister holding her ear to her back. She could hear how fast Sam’s heart was beating. 

Sam’s breath hitched in her throat at her sisters words. 

“You know?” Sam said finally looking up and opening her eyes. 

Tara let go and tried to find her sisters eyes in the mirror. 

“I mean I’ve noticed… things” She said not really trying to insinuate anything. 

Sam looked down again realizing that just because she was ignoring it didn’t mean other were. 

Tara swallowed hard before asking the one question that could change everything again. The one thing that meant she could lose her sister again after just getting her back. 

“Are you using again?” Her voice barely above a whisper 

Sam couldn’t believe her ears. She whipped around to look Tara in the eye but her baby sisters head had fallen to stare at the floor. 

“What?” Was all Sam could muster up as she took in how defeated Tara looked. 

“Well I know killing Richie has taken it’s toll on you and well maybe to cope…”

“Im not using. Im not. I swear” Sam cut tara off and pulled her into a hug. 

Tara melted into her big sister’s touch, something she longed for for so many years. She couldn’t help the tears that started to flood over her eyes. 

“Im sorry, you’ve just been so on edge and not to mention the nightmares. It’s just you stoped talking again, it felt like old times.” Tara crocked out through her sobs. 

Sam could feel the guilt eating at her bones. She knew she fucked up in the past but seeing the lasting effects crushed her insides. 

“Fuck Tara, Im so sorry. I didn’t realize…” 

“Did you do that?” Tara cut Sam off noticing the cracked sink behind her sister. She pushes past her and examines the cracks closely. 

Sam eyes follow her sister as she tried to switch topics, but ultimately fails to keep up with Tara. 

Tara reaches out and gabs Sam’s hand and places it back on the sink.

“Squeeze it.” Tara said with curiosity in he voice. 

“What?” Sam responded not understanding what Tara was getting at. 

“Break the sink.” 

“But I…”

“Just try.” 

Sam felt the urge to roll her eyes but instead followed her sisters instructions. She squeezed the sink as hard as she could and to her surprise it crumbled to dust beneath her grip. Barely breaking a sweat. 

“That’s not normal” Tara said pointing to the broken sink. 

Sam looked from the sink to her hand and back again. Her mind trying to make sense of it all. 

“It was already broken. It’s cracked” 

“Sam, people can’t just crush a sink” Tara said matter-o-factly as she stared at Sam.

“Don’t look at me like that.” Sam said as she sat down on the side of the bathtub

“Like what? I was just looking at you” Tara said throwing her hands in the air. 

“Like you're waiting for me to tell you something. Like I know what’s going on…. Like… Like I’m a monster” Sam said with frustration leaking into her tone. 

“What? You are not a monster Sam. I would never think that about you.” Tara said kneeling down to take Sam’s hands. 

Tears started to spill over Sam’s eyes as Tara held her hands. 

“But the sink” Sam managed to say through her silent sobs.

“Okay, I'll admit it’s weird and frankly not normal. But it doesn’t make you a monster” Tara almost chucked at the thought of her sister being anything other than her Sammy. 

Sam takes a deep breath letting the loved soaked words settle in her heart. Even after everything her sister has seen, she’s never wavered in her love. Sam still feels unworthy of that kind of love but she can’t deny how good it feels. 

Tara noticing her sister finally relaxing she pushed herself to swing the conversation. 

“Are you ready to talk about it?” She asked wincing at her own words. 

“Not talking won’t make it go away, so I guess so” Sam rebutted with.

“Okay, cool.” Tara said as awkward tension filled the air. She felt pressure to say the right thing to insure Sam wouldn’t shut down but how does one even start a conversation like this.

“It was right after I killed Richie” Sam’s words startled Tara as she didn’t think Sam would just start talking on her own. 

“What was?” Tara continued lightly squeezing Sam’s hand to offer support 

“It felt like a damn inside of me broke. Like there was this balloon filling with air inside my chest and it finally popped. It sent a wave of energy through my veins. Something changed in me in that moment.” Sam said raise her head to make eye contact with her baby sister. Half of Sam expected fear to be plastered across her face but was pleasantly surprised when she was met with eye’s full of admiration and love. 

“Your eyes” Tara said with a child like wonder as she reached up to tuck fallen hair behind her big sisters ear. 

Sam realized instantly what Tara meant and quickly looked away. She couldn’t help the panic that started to creep back into her chest knowing the glow of her eyes was another thing that was real. 

“No wait, they're beautiful” Tara said pulling her sister face back into view. 

“They’re glowing aren’t they?” Sam asked slowly allowing Tara to turn her face back. 

“This has happened before?” Tara asked still examining her big sisters eyes. 

“Ya, the first time was right after Richie and its been kinda random ever since then. I thought it was my mind playing tricks on me. So I ignored it.” Sam added trying to calm the uneasiness in her stomach. 

Tara got up from kneeling down and started to pace the bathroom. Sam could tell she was thinking as her lips slightly twitched wherever she was debating something inside her head. However, before Sam could realize what she was doing. Tara rushed over to the bathroom mirror opening up the cabinet that was behind it. She reached in and grabbed an eyebrow shaping knife. She turned back to Sam and made a small incision on the palm of her hand and as it started to pool blood she held it out to Sam’s face. 

“Tara what the fuck are you doing?!?!” Sam yelled as she pushed her sisters bloody hand out of her face. She quickly reached for some toilet paper to cover the blood coming out of her baby sisters hand. 

“Well that’s a relief” Tara said with a huff

“WHAT IS?” Sam said completely shell shocked at the events unfolding. 

“That you're not a vampire” Tara rebutted with slight irritation as if that information should have been obvious. 

Sam was speechless at her sisters words and just stared at her dumbfounded. 

“What?… Come on Sam think about it. You’ve had heightened emotion, your unnaturally strong, you can practically hear from a mile away, and last but not least your eye fucking glow.” Tara said waiting a beat before continuing. 

“For fuck sake I was almost expecting you to say this is the skin of a killer Bella” Tara ended in a mocking tone. 

“This isn’t funny Tara” Sam said focusing back on the bleeding hand in front of her. 

“Shit you're right. Twilight was too far.” 

Silence fell over the two and Sam thought on her baby sisters actions. 

“Wait, now I'm not saying I believe any of this but what the hell was your plan if I was. Which I'm not.”

“I’ll be honest I didn’t think that far.” Tara said with a bashful smile, embarrassment flushing her cheeks.

Sam rolled her eyes and tried to bandage up Tara’s hand. It wasn’t deep enough to need stitches but she was glad they still has gauze and medical tape at the ready. 

“Tara you can’t do stuff like this. What if it was worse!” Sam locked eyes with Tara silently communication her disappointment and worry. 

“I know I’m sorry. I just don’t know what to do” Tara admitted dropping her head in defeat. 

“That’s because you're not supposed to. Im the big sister that’s my job” Sam said grabbing tara by the chin and kissing her forehead. 

“But I want to help. I have to help” Tara said almost begging for Sam to need her. 

“And you have. Okay. Trust me baby girl. More than you know” Sam said smiling at her whole world. Tara face flushed at the reassurance her sister was giving. It had been a long time since someone made her feel like she was enough. 

“So what do we do now then?” Tara asked watching Sam get up from the tub to put away the bandage and medical tape. 

“I have no clue” 

Tara’s face crunched with confusion as she continued to watch her sister. 

“But you said that was your job?” 

“Okayyy but I didn’t say I was good at it” Sam quipped back with a shit eating grin 

Tara laughed and threw some wadded up tissue at her but Sam’s reflexes aided her in dodging and catching the paper. 

“Gotta be quicker than that” Sam said tossing it into the trash can near the toilet. Tara viewed her big sister actions and thought of a plan. 

“I got it! Tests! We should run tests on you.” Tara jumped up and down a little with her words as excitement flooded her body. 

Sam was nervous to say the least but seeing how happy Tara was she couldn’t ruin that. 

“Okay. What tests do you have in mind?” Sam asked slightly regretting the question before she even finished it. 

———————————-

“Honestly I think I could keep going” Sam said mid pushup 

“Don’t speak. Must focus on counting… 867…868…869” Tara said while sitting on her sisters back. 

Sam just laughed and continued doing push ups in the back yard. It was getting close to sun set so she didn’t mind taking the rest of Tara’s tests outside. 

So far they had tested her healing ability, speed, strength and now endurance, while taking plenty of time in between to talk about all the things missed in the last five years. 

“900… okay I don’t wanna count anymore. Im exhausted” Tara said climbing off of Sam’s back causing the older Carpenter to chuckle. 

“Hey, Im the one that just did almost a 1,000 push up WITH you on my back” Sam said as she took a drink of water. 

“No need to brag. We’re trying to get to the bottom of this. Remember?” Tara shot back looking over her notes that she had been taking throughout the day. 

“Ya, ya, ya. So whats the verdict doctor?” Sam asked walking back towards her sister.

“I mean it’s hard to say. Most supernatural beings or even just people with powers tend to have the ability to heal, speed, and strength. We need to get more specific. Cut out the basics like the blood test from before. That ruled out vampires.” Tara tapped her pencil on her head as if it would pop an idea into her mind. 

Sam on the other hand swallowed her anxiety. Frankly everything Tara was saying scared the every living shit out of her and it sounded like they had lost their minds. Actually considering she could be anything more than a human was crazy. But this whole day weirdly felt like a day out of their childhood. Tara coming up with crazy ideas and games for Sam to just follow along with. Their banter, teasing, and laughter made it seem like Ghostface never came to town and that Sam never left. 

“Okay so you could try screaming like a banshie, singing like a siren, or we can check a calendar…  ” Tara blurred out snapping Sam out of her head.

“Lets just call it a day” Sam said cutting Tara off. 

“Its officially dark outside, so why don’t we go in make some dinner and you can show me another movie. Anything you want.” Sam finished with a smile and pulled Tara into a side hug. 

“But we didn’t figure it out.” Tara said disappointment lacing her tone. 

“Hey there’s always tomorrow. Besides even if we don’t figure it out tomorrow either we have every day after that. Im not going anywhere and you better not either I’m gonna need your professional opinion.” Tara felt the hot tears sting the back of her eyes. She’d been waiting years to hear those words come out of her sisters mouth. I need you. That all she wanted and she finally got it. Today was shaping up to be the best day of Tara’s life. 

“Hey what’s wrong?” Sam said seeing the wetness of Tara’s eyes

“Nothing. Honestly for the first time noth…” 

“AHHHHHH”

Before Tara could finish her thought Sam was on the ground screaming in pain. 

“Sam? Whats happening?” Tara screams as she bends down next to her sister who’s gripping the ground so hard she’s pulling up clumps of grass and dirt. 

“FUCKKKK.” Sam screams again as a loud snap echoes though the dark of the backyard. 

The sound triggers something in Tara’s brain causing her to pull out her phone and check the calendar. 

“Oh fuck” Tara mutters out

“What?” Sam hisses out as she tries to lift her head up off the ground. But Sam could feel her bones rubbing against each other every time she moved. She could feel her teeth ache with every word spoke. But she still managed to look at her sister searching for answers. Sadly she got one. One she never wanted. 

“Its a full moon” Was all Tara could say before Sam started to shift. Her bone snapping one by one while the sounds of her flesh ripping traveled though the air. It made Tara nauseous. She didn’t know what to do. She wanted to help but how? She rested a hand on what seemed to be Sam’s shoulder.

Sam felt her little sisters touch and fear traveled to every fiber of her being. A simple touch and she could feel her bodies trigger unlatch. The deep dark pit inside her stomach instantly filled and bubbled over. The next thing she saw was going to die and she wasn’t going to be able to stop. So she did what she does best. 

She ran. 

“Sam!” Tara called after her but was alone before she could even blink. 

“How could I be so stupid!” Tara huffed as she kicked at the air. She should have known. All the signs were there and she missed them. She wasn’t smart enough to figure it out. To do something about it. To stop it so her sister wouldn’t run away. It was like she was 13 again waking up to an empty room. 

But she’s not 13 and Sam isn’t gone forever. She said she wouldn’t. So when she comes back Tara will be ready. 

Ready for what, she doesn’t know but she knows who to call. 

“Sup little Carpenter” Mindy said on the other side of the phone. 

“Hey I’m older than you” Tara rebuttled as she rolled her eyes. 

“Ya. Ya. Ya so whats up?” Mind asked 

“Well me and Sam were arguing about werewolf lore and she said the only way for someone to turn is to get bit and I didn’t think that was true so I called you because who else would know this stuff better than you.” Tara said while pacing around the backyard. She couldn’t bring herself inside in case Sam were to come back. 

“Odd topic for the two of you. But you're right. I am the one to call and obviously Sam’s wrong. There are multiple ways one can become a werewolf. Yes the bite is the most common. But you can also turn if you get infected by werewolf blood or if both of your parents are werewolves then you're just born with it. But they tend to be the most tame because they turn from the young age. Oh and then you get into the cursed aspect.” 

Tara felt herself perk up at the mention os a curse. 

“What do you mean the cursed aspect?” She asked 

“Well a curse is a curse and it can come from almost anything. It can be triggered by anything also. For example lets say your blood line is cursed so on your 18th birthday you turn for the first time and that happens to everyone in your family. Oh another common one is you don’t turn unless you’ve taken a life.” 

“Taken a life?” The hair on the back of her neck stood straight up at Mindy’s words. 

“Ya like taking a life tiggers your curse. In some old werewolf lore there were certain blood lines predestined for death and destruction so as a punishment for taking a life they would be cursed to turn into the best they truly were every month. So ya lots of ways to get turned. Sam’s way wrong” Mindy finished in a condescending way 

“Thanks, Min. I’ll tell her.” Tara said and hung up. Her mouth was dry and she could feel the burn in her chest getting stronger. She quickly rushed inside the house and grabbed her inhaler taking two big hits. The medication floods her system and she sits down on the couch. How the hell is she gonna tell all of this to Sam without her completely shutting down? 

———————

Sam felt the morning sun kiss her face. It was warm and soft like a fresh towel out of a dryer. She blinked the sleep from her eyes and shot up from where she lay. She looked around to find nothing but trees. But upon looking down she almost yelped in fear. She was naked and covered in blood. She franticly tried to figure out where she was or a way to get home. Then like the whole world went silent a single voice broke through to call her home.

Sam got up and started to run towards the sound. She didn’t think twice about it, she just took off as fast as she could and at this point in time was pretty damn fast. She made it to the backyard tree line with in seconds of when she started to run. Peering in she could see Tara sitting curled into a ball on the back patio. The sounds of her crying was pulling Sam like a dog on a leash to make her presence known. 

“Tara” Sam whisper yelled from behind a tree. 

Tara wiped her face and looked up towards the direction she heard Sam’s voice. 

“Sam?” She called out.

“Im behind the tree. Could you maybe go get me some clothes?” She asked popping her head out to let Tara see her. 

Tara ran inside and grabbed the first thing she saw and rushed back to Sam. Once reaching the tree she held out the blanket she pulled from the couch. 

Sam grabbed it and wrapped up.

“Really?” Sam said look down at her younger sister. 

“What? It was the first thing I saw” Tara shot back with a smile 

“Whatever” Sam said as she began to walk inside. Before she got very far she felt a small body collide with her own. Upon looking down she saw Tara bear hugging her. 

“Hey Hey its okay. Whats wrong?” Sam said hugging tara back noticing the sobs coming from her. 

“I was so scared” 

Sam instantly stiffest at her words. Scared. Tara was scared of her. Sam pulled back trying to get a look at Taras face. Once making eye contact Tara continued.

“I didn’t think you were gonna come back” She finished through staggered breaths. 

Guilt shot up Sam’s spine realizing that Tara wasn’t afraid of her but of losing her. 

“Hey I’m here. Okay I said I wasn’t going anywhere remember” Sam cooed 

A few moments passed before either sister spoke again. 

“You should probably go shower. You smell like death” Tara said pulling out of the embrace. 

“Defiantly gonna have to throw out this blanket.” Sam added as they walked inside. 

Sam took lead as she headed upstairs towards the bathroom. If she was being honest she knows she shut it off inside. Nothing from the past night had really settled in. Yet as if speaking to soon Tara stoped her before she could venture further into the house. 

“So are we gonna talk about it?” Tara asked instantly regretting it as she saw Sam wince at the words. 

“Not right now…. Please” Sam said cautiously hoping her words were soft enough that they wouldn’t leave her younger sister spiraling while she cleaned up. 

“Ya no worries.” Tara said biting back the rejection she couldn’t help but feel. 

Sam made her way up the stairs and into the bathroom. As she turned on the shower to let the water get warm she noticed the broken sink out of the corner of her eye. She knows better than to think about that let alone go over to it. Yet like the rebellious teen she was, Sam walked over to the sink and tracked the broken porcelain with her finger accidentally nicking herself in the process. 

“Shit” She huffed out pulling her finer away. She watched fresh blood poor over dried yet as fast as her skin split it healed. Being so caught up in the sink and her finger Sam lazily caught a glimpse of herself In the mirror sending a jolt of disgust and panic to every fiber of her being. 

Her hair was matted with blood. She had dirt all over her face and dried blood on the corner of her mouth and chin. The blood ran down her body covering most of her especially her hands. Though she only looked for a second the image of herself was already burned into her memory. She quickly got in the shower and began to wash off. 

Once she was done cleaning off, Sam got out of the shower and got dressed to meet back with Tara down stairs. 

“Took you long enough” Tara said as she paused the movie she was watching. 

“Ya well you try…” Sam stoped before she dug a whole she couldn’t climb out of. 

There was a new awkward tension that filled the air. So much was yet to be said and neither sister knew where to start. 

“Im sorry”

“I called Mindy” 

Both sisters said at the same time. 

“You what?” Sam’s body tensed at Tara’s words. Surly she wouldn’t have immediately ran off to tell Mindy what happened. 

“Not like that. I just called her and asked about some stuff but I made sure to ask in such a way that well, you know” Tara clarified shooting Sam a smile to calm her down. 

“Well?” Sam asked 

Tara took a deep breath using the time to find the wright words. 

“So I think you might be cursed” Tara let out into the already tension filled air. 

“What do you mean cursed?” Sam asked folding her arms into herself. She didn’t realize how vulnerable getting answers would make her feel. 

“Okay so Mindy said there are a lot of way to become a werewolf, from getting bit, to it running in your family, to blood infections, and finally curses. So I thought all the other ones didn’t make sense but when Mindy started talking about the different kinds of curses well, let’s just say there’s a blood line cure that sounds the most accurate” Tara saw the way Sam was taking in her words. She was shutting down faster than originally expected and she knew what comes after shutting down. 

Denial 

“Im not… that” Sam was now staring at the floor walking slowly toward the couch. Arms and hands still perfectly tucked away from view. 

“Sam” Tara said following her

“No Tara this is insane. This is all insane this can’t be real” Sam spoke franticly waving her hands in the air as she felt her reality settle into her bones. 

“You can’t be serious. How the hell do you explain last night then?” Tara felt herself starting to rile up. They can’t afford to dance around this. 

“I don’t know what you're talking about” Sam let out like a bratty teenager being accused of cheating on a test. 

“Don’t do that”

“Do what?”

“Don’t act like this isn’t real.” Tara said waiting a beat for her sister to snap out of her denial. 

“Fuck Sam, we can’t afford you to act like this isn’t real.” She waited again but Sam just sat still on the couch. Tara couldn’t help but feel the anger bubble up inside of her.

“Fine if this is how you want this to go then by all mean ignore it, pretend it isn’t real. Just like you did with Billy” Tara knows she touched a nerve at the way Sam twitches. 

“That’s not fair.” Sam says standing up and walking out of the room. 

“Wow running away again” Tara said clearly losing her cool

“Are you fucking serious!” Sam abruptly turns on her heals glaring down her younger sister. 

“Yes I’m fucking serious. You can’t run away from this. Do you remember how that went last time” Tara lifted her shirt to point at her still bandaged stab wounds. 

Hot shame and guilt burned every fiber of Sam’s being at the implication of her sisters words.  She could feel her bones start to shift with the overwhelming emotional surge blossoming in her chest. Sam knew everything that happened was her fault and her sister thought it too. If she didn’t leave, if she wasn’t who she was, nobody would have gotten hurt. 

As if Tara could read minds she knew exactly how Sam took her words. 

“Shit I didn’t mean it like that.” 

“But didn’t you?” Sam spoke barely above a whisper as tears pooled in her eyes. She gripped the side of the kitchen table to steady herself leaving cracks beneath her fingers. Taking a deep breath to try and calm down. She could feel she was starting to lose control. 

Tara closed the gap between them. Reaching out to the older carpenter. But Sam pulled away  afraid of what she might do and backed into the corner of the kitchen. Tara ran her hands through her hair trying to calm the the storm raging inside of her. 

“No Sam, I didn’t mean it like that. It’s just I know this time around. You didn’t come to me with Billy and I get it. Okay I do. I get why you did what you did. But it’s different this time because I know. I can be here. Really here. But at the same time, if you don’t deal with it. In a month this could be a very different conversation.” 

A defining silence fell over the room. Tara didn’t dare move for the fear of spooking Sam even more. While Sam tried with all her might to control her body. She knew Tara was right. She had to let the right thing in just enough to admit the truth. 

“Admitting it makes it real” Sam broke the silence through gritted teeth. Her gums were on fire with ever word. 

“Not admitting it, doesn’t make it not real” Tara followed up. 

Fear was creeping up Sam’s spine. The balloon was back and filling inside her chest, if she kept this up she was surly going to explode and so with a deep breath and a sigh Sam finally let out the truth. 

“Fine. Im a fucking Werewolf. Happy” Sam breathed out and with her words her body relaxed.

“Ya the fuck you are! Finally. How was it? Was it cool? Did everything look different? Was your fur itchy?” Tara couldn’t help but feel a little excited. It’s not everyday you can ask these types of questions. 

Sam winced at the sudden mood shift in her sister. She wished more than anything she felt the same. 

“I don’t remember. I just remember waking up and then feeling like something was pulling me home and then I was here” Sam admitted. 

“I feel like that’s probably normal.” Tara said thinking on all the werewolf media she’s consumed. 

“It hurt” Sam let out in a shaky breath

“It hurt?” Tara asked

“That’s all I remember. How much it hurt” Sam added 

“Oh. Im sorry you had to go through that.” Tara used this opportunity to try and close the gap once again. 

But this time Sam reached out and pulled her into a hug letting the warmth of their body mix in a comforting embrace. Sam shudders at the instant release of tension she had. 

“What the fuck am I gonna do?” Sam muttered into her baby sisters hair. 

“We. We are gonna figure it out. We have a month right?” Tara said hopefully 

“And then every month after that” Sam rolled her eyes at her own statement. 

“Maybe not. Not if it’s a curse.” Tara said pulling out of the embrace instantly regretting it seeing the disappointed look on Sam’s face. 

“Think about it. Your blood line was cursed so what if we break it?” 

“Wait exactly how is my blood line cursed?” Sam asked confused as to what Tara was saying. 

“Oh shit we never got there. Ya so in some werewolf lore certain blood lines were cursed because, well, um.” 

“Because they what?”

“They were predestined for death and destruction so as a punishment they were cursed to turn into the beast they truly were every full moon.”  Tara said like she was ripping a bandaid off. 

“What are you saying?” Sam asked hesitantly 

“I think killing Richie triggered your curse.” Tara shifted her weight at the way her sister’s face dropped. 

“So it was inevitable.” Sam accidentally let slip 

“Wait what?” Tara asked unsure where her sister was in her thought process. 

“Its like you said I was born with death and destruction. It was only a matter of time before I…” Sam choked on her words. Tears started to fall down her cheeks as she thought. She was always destined to take a life and deep down she had known that. There was no running from the Loomis legacy. Then another thought took over. 

“Wait if that’s true then. If Im? Then Billy?” Sam started to think out loud while pacing the kitchen floor. 

“Ya im pretty sure your grandma too” Tara added making Sam stop in her tracks. 

“Oh my god” Sam said

“Ya” Tara shook her head as she watched her sister unravel. 

“Fuck” 

“Ya” 

“Okay then how do you break a curse?” Sam finally asked 

“Not a clue. BUT it doesn’t mean we can’t try.” Tara said 

“Then we better get to work. We have 30 days” Sam said as she walked over to a calendar that was attached to the fridge. 

The next four weeks were a dream for Tara. Sam was present and attentive. Anything Tara asked Sam would answer to her best capability. They would talk for hours on end and when there was nothing else to say Tara would show Sam her favorite movies until they fell asleep entangled in one and other. Tara wanted this to last forever. But nothing good ever last long for a Carpenter. 

Sam woke to a car door being slammed shut. She whipped her head towards the clock on the living room wall it read 2:17am. She then looked down to see Tara still fast asleep on her lap. 

But then she heard it. 

Footsteps

Undeniable to who’s they were. 

“Fuck” Sam muttered trying to ease out from under Taras head effectively waking her up. 

“Sam?” Tara said as she rubbed the sleep from her eyes. 

“Hey, why don’t you go…” Before Sam could even finish the front door swung open. 

“Mom?” Tara said viewing Christina stumbling through the front door. 

In hind sight Sam should have known better. From the first twitch in her bones to the way her skin started to crawl. She knows how these things go. She knows how her mother is. She just didn’t know how Tara would be. 

When Sam finally snapped to reality her mother had her cornered and was yelling the same old shit she’s heard since she was 13. 

“It was only a matter of time before you finished off destroying this family. You get out of my house this instant and don’t even THINK about coming back. I NEVER want to see you again!” Christina spat out. 

“You don’t get to say that.” Tara moved in between Sam and their mother. 

“Excuse ME?” Christina yelled at her youngest. 

“You don’t get to say that… Where were you? HuH? I was attacked and it took you almost two months to finally come back home and drunk no less. So you don’t get to come in here and blame her for you own faults. Because she was here. Sam actually saved my life not that you would listen long enough to understand that. And if we really wanna throw blame around maybe you should look in the mirror and realize that WE have to deal with the fact that YOU let yourself get knocked up by a fucking serial killer.” 

Silence filled the air as Tara caught her breath after finishing. She watched the realization flood her mothers mind as all of her rage settled from one child and rose for the other. 

“HOW DARE YOU SPEAK TO YOUR MOTHER THAT WAY” Christina hissed. She turned from Sam towards her youngest and with the raise of her right hand Christina sealed her fait. 

‘SMACK’ 

Before the echoes of palm against cheek could dissipate in the air. Sam was standing over her mother. Blood dripped from her hands as the metallic smell filled her nostrils. Her body buzzing with delight as she watched the light drift from her mothers eyes. 

“S..Sam?” Tara timidly asked as she held the side of her face that was turning bright read. The view of her sister snapped Sam back to reality. 

Panic and terror grip Sam by the throat as she looked down. Her mother lay lifeless before her. Sam’s raised her hands up, her claws glistened crimson in the light of the entryway. 

She fell to her knees, feeling the balloon expand in her chest as realization set in. She had killed their mother. Without even a second thought. She tore her mother's throat out and relished in the way her life drained from her body. 

She stared at her blood soaked hands as if any moment they would be clean and it was all just some trick of the light. But the blood stayed and her mother remained dead. 

“Sam please” Tara tried to reach for her sister. Shock locked her joints making her movements clunky causing Sam to back away. 

“Get away from me” Sam cried shoving her hands to her side and scooting across the floor as tears fell down her face. 

“Hey, hey, you need to calm down” Tara said trying to slowly inch forward towards her sister. She thought it would have been harder to see. Her only mother laying dead on the floor. But Tara couldn’t help but feel a sense of relief wash over her. Sam had vowed to protect her and she had kept that promise. Christina couldn’t hurt her anymore and god did that feel good. 

“No no please… I … I can’t.. control it” Sam shook as she felt the pull inside her chest. The balloon was filling faster than she could deflate it. 

“Sam we have until tonight. You have to trust me. Its gonna be okay” 

Sam looked up at her baby sister. The image of their mother mixing with the one infant of her. A simple flash of Tara laying dead throat torn out popped into Sam’s head. They were out of time. 

“Tara you have to go. NOW” Sam said eyes glowing wild as she tried to hold herself together. Tensing every muscle in her body like they could hold her bones in place. 

Tara saw the glow of her sisters eyes and realized they were in fact out of time. She rushed to the front room closet and grabbed a duffle bag and made her way to the back yard. 

“Sam come on!” She yelled back at her sister. 

“We prepared for this” She added before heading to the shed in the back yard. 

Sam used what little energy she had left to push herself up. She knew if she wanted to keep her sister safe she had to make it to the shed. 

Upon walking outside Sam made a beeline for the shed. Only taking a moment to look up at pale glow of the moon. In an instant she felt her muscles expand drinking in the light as if they were sponges soaking up water. 

Sam fell to her knees as her ankle gave out. The sound of bone snapping rippled through the air. 

Tara heard the commotion and ran out of the shed to her sisters side and helped her up. 

“Tara no. You… SHIT” Sam yelped as more of her body shifted inside. 

“Just shut up and let me help you” Tara said pulling her sister up and walking her towards the shed. 

Once inside Tara helped Sam down to the floor and started to chain her wrists and ankles. 

“What.. if this.. doesn’t work?” Sam asked though exacerbated breaths. 

“It will. We tested it over and over again. You can’t break out of the chains.” Tara said locking everything into place. Over the past month they had tested different ways to ensure Sam was locked away on a full moon. Eventually they found a pair of chains that Sam couldn’t break out of. Sadly it cost them an arm and a leg but it settled most of Sam’s nerves. 

Once tara was done she pulled out a lawn chair and set it up by the door and sat down. 

“Tara what are you doing?” Sam franticly asked. 

“Im staying with you” 

“No… you have… to go” Sam could barely speak through the pain. It took all of her energy to focus on not shifting. 

“Im not leaving you.” Tara said stomping her foot on the ground

“Tara please… I don’t… want.. to.. hurt you” Sam’s said in a low growl 

“There’s nothing you can do that would make me leave” Tara held eye contact with her sister. Never breaking away. Even after everything that just happened her faith in Sam never wavered and Sam felt that. As if their gaze said a million words she knew Tara trusted her with her life. Even if Sam didn’t. 

So Sam let go. The world around her started to darken as she succumbed to the sharp pain exploding in her body. 

Tara on the other hand watched as her sisters body twisted and shifted. She watched as her spine elongated and her teeth sharpened. She kept telling herself she should be afraid that she should be disgusted but she couldn’t. She had never felt so connected, grounded, and important until now. Maybe if she wasn’t so enthralled by what she was witnessing before her she might have noticed the chains starting to pull apart. 

By the time Sam was a wolf it was too late. Even though the they had tested Sam’s strength on the chains 100 times over they never took into account how strong she would be fully transformed. 

So now Tara sat a simple 5 feet away from a freed 8 foot werewolf. Eyes golden like the sun and fur as black as night with its teeth bare for all to see. 

“Whoa there. It’s me. Sam it’s me” Tara said slowly rising from her chair, holding her hands in the air. 

A low growl escaped from Sam as she kept her eyes locked on Tara. 

“Im not a threat. It’s me. It’s tara. Im not gonna hurt you.” Tara kept walking slowly towards the door. Only for Sam the lung forward cutting Tara off from the only exit in the shed. 

Tara stopped moved. She felt a twinge of fear prick the back of her neck. It was one thing to believe in her sister when she looked like herself. It was another to see a giant wolf baring its fangs at her. Tara couldn’t help the tears at welled in her eyes. She had to stay strong for Sam. She put herself in this situation. Sam would never forgive herself if anything were to happen. 

“Fuck Sam i’m so sorry.” Tara started to cry as she continued.

“I should have known better. I shouldn’t have pushed you, I was being selfish. I just want you to let me in. I went 10 years of my life being completely shut out by you. I just thought if I allowed it for a second you’d never let me back in agin and you probably have no idea what im saying” 

Tara slid down the wall of the shed and covered her face with her hands. If she was going to die she wouldn’t have the last thing she sees be a lie. She known who Sam is. Curse or no curse she knows Sam would never hurt her. It’s not her fault she’s not in control. 

She can hear the heavy footsteps growing closer. She can feel the hot breath agent her face. Tara instinctively puts her hands up in defense. But is shocked to feel the cool wetness of a nose nuzzle into the palm of her hand. Upon opening her eyes she see’s Sam’s golden eyes studying her. 

Even though Sam’s eyes were a different color they were still her big sisters eyes and Tara could tell she was just behind them. 

“Sammy?” Tara said, it had been over 8 years since she uttered that name. A name saved for the one person that meant more than anything to her and after all this time she finally saw her again. 

“I know you’re in there. Come on Sammy. You know me” Tara continues hand extended. 

Just then Sam’s eyes filled with life. There was a fire burning bright inside of them. It was her Sammys fire. 

Sam waged her tail and started to endlessly lick Taras face causing her to break out into laughter. 

“Okay. Okay. Okay ya I get it. Im happy to see you too. Maybe let’s stop with the licking.” Tara pushed Sam’s head back away from her and wiped the saliva from her face. 

Tara got up and grabbed the blanket Sam had used a month ago out of the duffle bag and laid it on the ground. She sat down and motioned for Sam to join her. Without hesitation Sam walked over and curled around Tara laying her head down. Tara leaned back agent her sister and closed her eyes. 

“Goodnight Sammy. I love you” Tara said as she relaxed back into sleep. 

Tara woke up to what sounded like someone tapping their foot on the group. Only it was someone doing that. Sam was sitting in the lawn chair hair pulled up in a messy bun in an old t-shirt and basketball shorts tapping away. 

“Morning” Tara mumbled as she pushed her self off the ground. She noticed the way Sam was stiff and fidgety. 

“How could you do that?” Sam let out eyes darting every which way but her sister. 

“Do what?” Tara asked confused as to why Sam seems so upset yet the thought reminded Tara of what really happened the night before. 

“Wait Sam.” 

“I could have killed you” Sam voice broke with her words. She thought over and over of how badly last night could have ended for her and it flooded her body with anxiety. 

“I don’t believe that” 

Tara’s words snapped Sam to attention. She looked her sister in her eye and saw just how unwavering she was again. She knew she couldn’t win this.

“Stop doing that” Sam muttered breaking the unspoken staring contest.

“Doing what?” 

“Treating me like Im not dangerous.” Sam let out dropping her head in defeat. 

“Who said I was doing that?” Tara bit back.

“What you did last night was stupid.” 

“I know and i’m sorry” Tara admitted 

“I just didn’t…” Tara started but was cut off by Sam.

“Want me to shut you out again” Sam finished 

“You heard it” Tara lit up.

“It was like a dream. I could feel that you were scared but I couldn’t see anything and then all of a sudden it felt like your hand pulled me out of this dark pit and you were just sitting their on the ground. And then I heard you say my name.” 

“Sammy” Tara breathlessly muttered the name again. 

“I don’t think i’ve ever really felt that happy before.” Sam admitted 

“I don’t think i’ve ever seen you happy before” Tara added as she watched her Sam’s body relax 

They sat in the silence for a moment before dealing with the elephant in the room. 

“I really don’t wanna be the one to end this little moment but what about, mom” Tara watched her sister wince at her words as if she was just slapped herself. 

“Fuck Tara i’m so sorry. Before I even knew what was going on… I … I.. I killed her” Sam dropped her head into her hands and shivered with dread. 

“Im not mad” Tara said staring down Sam.

“What? I took your mother away from you. How could you not be mad?” Sam met her sisters eyes again. Something about them made Sam unable to speak. 

“Don’t you dare give her the privilege of being called my mother. She was never my mother. She couldn’t stay around long enough after you left to care about me. Fucking christ, from the time I was 8 and dad left she never once thought of me as her daughter. I provided one thing and one thing alone. I would listen to her vent then she would toss me aside when she felt better.” 

“But” Sam tried to interject but couldn’t. Tara only moved closer and took her hands. 

“No buts. You said you’d protect me and you did. Without even a second thought you made sure that women could never hurt me again.” Tara stared into her big sisters eyes. Tears welling inside of her but not because of sadness. No because of unadulterated love. 

“I wasn’t scared, I wasn’t mad, I had never felt so loved in that moment.” Tara cupped Sam’s face with her hands wiping a few stray tears off her sisters face. 

“You are and will always be my protector. Im pretty sure were boned for life.” 

Sam sifted to the floor and grabbed her sister to pull them into a hug. Sam kissed Taras forehead and they just stayed like that for as long as each needed it. 

“You know Id do anything for you right?” Even though Sam phrased it like a question she knew it was a promise. 

Tara buzzed in delight with her sisters words. Nothing in this world sounded better than the bond she and Sam share. 

“I know” Tara finally let out. Nuzzling further into Sam. She thought on her sisters promise and felt deep in her gut that Sam might not have a choice when it comes to Tara. As if she held the leash to Sam’s collar. But it wasn’t the time or place to talk about that. Maybe it would never be the right time and Tara didn’t care. Sam was her’s just as much as she was Sam’s. 

“So what are we gonna do about mom?” Sam asked as if she was waiting for instructions. 

“Ya know I heard the Smith’s dog down the street got attacked by a mountain lion last week.” Tara said with a devilish grin. 

They were gonna be okay. As long as they had each other. No monster could hurt them.

“Do you think next month we could play fetch?” Tara asked

“Tara!” Sam laughed a she shoved her sister. 

“What? It could be fun!” Tara exclaimed as they walked back towards the house. 

-----------------------------------------

Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoyed and Happy Halloween:)

#sam carpenter #scream #tara carpenter #carpenter sisters #mindy meeks martin #werewolf!sam #fuck christina carpenter club #happy halloween

[justapurrcat]

Chocolate and Cuddles | n.d.

Pairing: Nathan Drake x fem!reader

Synopsis: Just a soft cuddle session with your treasure-hunting boyfriend.

Word Count: 1.335k

Warnings: English not being my first language, mainly fluff, mentions of sex, a pinch of harmless angst bc it’s me.

Nathan Drake Masterlist

General Masterlist

A/n: I have nothing to say for myself, this is shamelessly self-indulgent like everything I write. Inspired by this post.

“Fuck this”, Nate grumbled, setting the little book down onto your coffee table. Not as harshly as his frustration would’ve wanted him to, but only because of how priceless that damn object was. The absolute Odyssey he had gone through to retrieve it was another extremely good reason.

When he’d first told you about it, you almost couldn’t believe him, and this was coming from the person he would always return to in between his crazy adventures. However, a quick glance at his naked torso had been more than enough to change your mind: suddenly, that absurd and fantastic story didn’t sound so absurd and fantastic anymore.

Of course, you had immediately freaked out, the position of your med kit being all you could think of. But Nate had effectively silenced your worries – at least for that moment –, instead focusing entirely on you. And with a stamina you couldn’t explain to yourself nonetheless.

Had someone witnessed the steamy, filthy scene unfolding in your tiny bedroom, they would’ve thought you were the one who’d just made a quick stop in Hell.

Crying in shock and relief, realising you had been just one step away from losing him, you had clung to his shoulders for dear life, eyes rolling in the back of your head and legs wrapped around his hips, drawing him as close as you could, as if you were trying to become one with him, all your coherent sentences getting reduced to mindless, yet adoring chants of his name.

“I’m okay. I’m here. I’m yours…”

With deep thrusts that by no doubt had your neighbours hating you for how loud they had made you moan, and soft lips kissing away all your tears, Nate had taken your mind off of everything else that wasn’t his love for you and his body entangled with yours, twisted in bed sheets that were now stained with his blood…

“Everything okay?”, you asked, approaching him with a mug of hot milk-chocolate in your hands.

Nate sent you a weak smile, running a hand through his hair, still wet from the shower. “I’m going nowhere with this”, he sighed, rubbing his eyes, then rested his elbows on his knees. “Might need your help with it.”

You hummed, placing the mug onto the table, careful not to put it too close to the book, and kneeling on the couch right next to him. “I’ll consider it.”

Your eyes naturally flickered to his battered arms and bare back. You had treated him to the best of your abilities, but his skin was still covered in bruises that would take a while to fade.

Nate reached out and grabbed the mug, proceeding to take a long sip. “Thanks, darling”, he murmured, gratefully.

You smirked, poking at his side. “That was for me.”

He turned towards you, jaw dropped and eyes round. “Shit, I’m sorry–”, he began to apologise.

“Just kidding”, you reassured him, raising a hand to remove a little smudge of chocolate from the corner of his mouth. The action transitioned into you affectionately cupping the side of his face. “Just kidding, my love”, you repeated, as your thumb ran over the little cut on his cheekbone.

He chuckled at that, grabbing your wrist and pulling you in, lips claiming their legit place against yours.

The two of you spent a good hour and a half cuddling and working on deciphering the secret message contained in the book, and you had actually gotten to a pretty good point when you noticed that all of the action was finally starting to take a toll on Nate.

You shifted on the couch, moving so that you could have access to his back, then spread your palms over his broad shoulders, leaning in to kiss a blue-ish mark right between his shoulder blades. 

Your boyfriend’s initial surprise got quickly forgotten, as he instantly surrendered to you, melting into your featherlight touch and forgetting the coded clue, too.

“Looks like the tireless treasure hunter could use some rest”, you breathed against the nape of his neck. You took your sweet time paying attention to every single wound that soiled his flesh, then, once you were done, you swiftly unbuttoned your shirt – that you might’ve happened to have stolen from him – and scooted closer to him, your front glued to his back, your hands still massaging his shoulders and roaming over his chest.

Nate threw his head back, silently asking himself what he had done to deserve such a sweet little thing as you to bless his life. And kicking his past idiot self for almost losing you. “Fuck, love…”

“Wanna go to bed?”, you offered after a few minutes, lips brushing over the shell of his ear, the gesture eliciting a shiver out of him. “We’ll finish tomorrow.”

He complied and followed you like an obedient puppy, his trademark cocky smirk fading into a love-sick gaze that never failed to make your heart skip a beat, his big, calloused hands not daring to leave yours for a single second.

You had barely touched the mattress when his head dipped to your breasts, taking advantage of the fact that you hadn’t done anything about your – his – shirt, planting soft pecks onto the delicate skin.

“Nate…”, you warned him with a soft gasp. You were still sore, since he hadn’t exactly gone easy on you, doing all in his power to make you come six times in a row, mentioning something about making up for the six months you had spent apart. You couldn’t quite remember, given how he had literally fucked your brains out.

“I know”, he mumbled innocently, and you understood there was no actual malicious intent behind his actions. “Just wanna kiss you, that’s all.”

So you just let him lay you on your back, arching up into him as your eyes fluttered shut, the wonderful sensation of your lover’s lips spreading warmth under your skin, making you feel like you were floating on pasted tinted clouds.

“Nate…”, you purred, filling him with pride, despite how tired he was. He knew all too well that he was the only one allowed to see this side of you, the only one who could make you whisper dreamingly while you were wide awake.

During an argument, you had yelled that he just loved fucking you. It was still in the early stages of your relationship – could you even call it a relationship back then? – when neither of you could quite tell where this thing was going. Well, at least he couldn’t. You certainly could tell way more than he did.

After that, you had stormed out of his apartment, going radio silence for an entire week, and that was what it took him to understand that you weren’t an outlet anymore. He ached for you, he needed you next to him.

God, he fucking loved you.

Once he was satisfied, Nate snuggled into your chest like you were his personal pillow, pressing his cheek against your sternum, so that he could regulate his breathing along yours and let the soothing rhythm of your heartbeat lull him to sleep.

Your fingers idly raked through his locks, nails lightly scraping his scalp. His hair was getting longer. You liked it, but you were ready to bet that tomorrow he was gonna ask you to help him do something about it.

“Can you hold me?”, Nate pleaded quietly, caressing your sides like you were made of glass. “I need to feel you.”

You nodded, and without a word, wrapped your limbs around him when he turned to his side, once again pressing your skin flush against his.

Your boyfriend sighed happily, loving how vulnerable he could allow himself to be in your presence, while still feeling perfectly safe. He took your hand in his and brought it up to his lips, covering every inch of it with kisses, then placed your palm right above his heart and kept it there.

Right where he kept you while he was away.

A/n: Thanks for reading and I hope you liked this! 💜

Taglist: @thollandsdarling @hunnybunimdun @namoreno @nocturnalms @vendettaparker @wildxwidow @mn-jun @thisisparadisemylove @belovedholland @blankspaceblankday @inthegetawaycarwithtaylah @mrparkerwillseeyounow @indouloureux @obsessed-with-a-fictional-man

(Let me know if you wanna be added or removed, add yourself to my taglist or follow me on my writing side-blog @lia-s-liabrary and turn the notifications on)

#nathan drake #nathan drake fanfiction #tom!nathan drake #movie!nathan drake #tshwritersnet #uncharted movie #uncharted #tom holland #nathan drake x fem!reader #nathan drake imagine #nathan drake angst #nathan drake fluff #nathan drake smut #chocolate and cuddles

[softlymaximoff]

🩸 🌧️ can I request a drabble of WandaNat where Nat came home from a bad mission and Wanda ofc takes her of her baby? 🥺

Send emojis <3

Moya lyubov, your heart must hurt

18+ ONLY! MEN & MINORS DNI (blank blogs will be blocked you do not have my permission to republish my work onto any platform.

Summary: no matter how many missions Natasha goes on, Wanda is always there to help mend the shatter in her heart.

Characters: Wanda Maximoff, Natasha Romanoff

Warnings: injuries/blood/bruises, mental and physical exhaustion, mentions of mission complications, soft, comfort, fluff.

Word Count: 740

The quinjet shook lightly as the team landed onto the small airstrip accompanying the compound grounds. Fury, Natasha, Tony and Clint had all just come back from a month and a half long mission. The last few days were pure hell, each member had seen enough to last them years worth of therapy sessions and it was safe to say no one was going on any other missions soon.

A quiet rumble of thunder snapped Natasha out of her daydream and she winced when a flash of lightning followed not too far behind. She was never one for storms but usually stuck it out for Wanda who was outright terrified of them. Today however, with the frame of mind she was is she wanted nothing more than to fall in a heaped pile of blankets with her girlfriend.

As the jet finally stopped its engines, everyone limped out, the widow being victim of most injuries. Her arms and torso were severely bruised as was her left collarbone, she had a slightly open wound on her lip and her nose was still bleeding. Another round of lightning and thunder made her whimper and rush inside the compound as best as she could, a quiet hiss escaping as she unintentionally put pressure on her ribs while breathing.

“Nat you need to go to med bay, Laura and Wanda would kill me if they knew I’d let you finish the mission without getting checked” Clint raised an eyebrow when he got no response from her. “C’mon I’m taking you” he sighed sympathetically as he ushered her into the first med bay he could find. “No needles” she whispered with such fear he thought he might actually consider taking her off missions for a while.

“Alright no needles but we need to bandage you up and fix you. Im gonna go get Wanda okay? I promise I’ll be really quick” he assures as best he could while Natasha was practically shaking in fear on the table. She barely had the time to spiral into her own thoughts when a flurry of auburn hair ran in. “Oh malysh, you’re shaking moya lyubov come here” Wanda cooed over her injured girlfriend.

“It hurts Wans, my heart. It’s sore” Natasha’s voice was small and afraid, something she never really let loose. “Please fix me, make me forget” the slightly older avenger looked at Wanda with pleading eyes and Wanda teared up at the desperation. “Wha- Tasha no, I’m not using my magic on you. I’m telling Tony this is your last mission until I think you’re good to go again” she held her face gently and wiped Natasha’s lip. “Can you let me help you fix these nasty cuts up detka” Wanda moved around Nat with ease as she patched her girlfriend up.

Another roll of the unforgiving weather rang out and this time Natasha audibly and visibly whimpered closer to her girlfriend. “Oh baby, I’m almost done I’m sorry” Wanda frowned as she cleaned the last of Natasha’s face, now time for the torso. “Can you take your shirt off for me or do you want me to do it?” She asked softly and the redhead just lifted her arms up with a tense breath.

In a swift motion the spy was shirtless and Wanda had to hold back a gasp. She was severely bruised and painted all over with greens, blues and purples. “God babe, you’re a whole different colour” she whispered in shock grabbing her things to soothe the bruises. Tentatively, she began dabbing the cloth to remove all the dirt and grime off the tainted torso. “Wands it hurts” Natasha cowered back when her girlfriend brushed over a particular rib.

“I know, I know, I’m sorry” she murmured as she finished her up quickly. The minute Wanda was done, Natasha fell into her arms, clinging onto her like she’d disappear. “Hey shh c’mon why don’t we get you into some comfy clothes hmm? We can worry about showering tomorrow” Wanda mused over the thought as her girlfriend could only sniffle and cling tighter. “I’ve got you you’re okay. You’re safe” Wanda held back her own tears as she carried Natasha to their room.

One thing for sure was that if they wanted Nat to go on any more missions, they’d have to get through Wanda first. There was no way anybody was gonna mess with a protective Wanda, not even Maria could convince her.

#anon #asks #witchy answers #letterbox 💌 #wandanat #wanda maximoff #natasha romanoff #wanda x natasha