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jikookuntold · 1 month

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What Is Like Crazy About?

Since the day "Like Crazy" was released, I wanted to post about it, but couldn't get the time to focus and do a comprehensive analysis. Finally, right before the first anniversary of this masterpiece, I got the time, and the post is ready now. Before starting off, I have to remind you of the fact that a work of art can be interpreted in many different ways, and none of those interpretations are necessarily right or wrong. Every work of art contains a message that is the artist’s main intention from that creation, but the artist doesn’t have to explain it to the audience because a true work of art speaks for itself, even though not all audiences can receive it thoroughly.

I know that in the past year, so many different types of analyses and theories were made by fans to explain this song, and most definitely, I couldn’t keep up with all of them. Therefore, I’m not claiming my analysis to be a breakthrough, and you might have read most parts of it somewhere else. In this post, we are going to discuss “Like Crazy” from a lyrical and conceptual point of view, trying to find out what message or messages Jimin wanted to convey by creating it.

About “Like Crazy”

“Like Crazy” as the title track for Jimin's first solo album, "FACE", stole the hearts of millions of fans and locals around the world, and inarguably became one of the most successful pop songs of the year 2023. I can talk for hours about how beautiful and successful “Like Crazy” is, and how it broke KPop boundaries and countless records. But, in this post, we are going to break to the surface and talk about the meanings and motivations behind this song and answer the questions like “How this song was made?” “What was Jimin's intention in writing these romantic lyrics?”

As I mentioned earlier, artists usually don’t directly address their main message and their intention in creating a form of art, but many of them speak about the motivations and inspirations that led them to the creation. Jimin hasn’t talked much about the sources of inspiration behind individual tracks of “FACE”, but I guess “Like Crazy” was an exception for him because he revealed on several occasions that he was inspired by “Like Crazy”, the movie. And this piece of information is the key to our analysis:

"I tried to express the feelings of that movie. You know, the somewhat complex, somewhat lonely, somewhat happy emotions. I tried to express all these ambiguous and subtle emotions in a slightly sexy way, but I’m not sure how it’ll end up being received by people.”

Like Crazy, The Movie

First of all, we need to keep in mind that “Like Crazy” is a completely original song, and Jimin has not used or sampled any songs, lines, or dialogues from the movie in his lyrical or visual concepts (even the intro and outro dialogues in the song were original and not from the movie). If Jimin had not stated his source of inspiration directly, the only hint that could have led us to it would be the title of the song, which duplicates the title of the movie since the title never appears in the lyrics.

So, Jimin chose this specific name for his song and announced his source of inspiration to make it clear that there is a straight and strong connection between the song and the movie. He made it clear that this connection is 100% conceptual and emotional, and if we want to know what “Like Crazy” is about, and what ambiguous and subtle feelings Jimin is talking about, we have to redirect the analysis to the concept of the movie, “Like Crazy”.

As we all know, “Like Crazy” is a romantic movie, and Drake Doremus directed it casting "Felicity Jones" and the late "Anton Yelchin" as the main characters, Anna and Jacob. Doremus based the storyline of this low-budget movie on his experience being in a long-distance relationship with his partner and developed it into a 90-minute-long movie, which was released in 2011 and became relatively successful.

Anna and Jacob

A few days before the release of “FACE”, I was informed that the title track, “Like Crazy” is based on a movie of the same name. After learning this fact, I had to re-watch it because I couldn’t remember anything after a decade, and I had some questions like: “What was in this movie that made it so special for Jimin?” “How would Jimin feel watching this?”. Having this mindset helped me to see the movie differently, but before explaining those new insights we need a short storyline of the movie:

Anna is a British exchange student in LA, where she falls in love with Jacob, an American student, and they start dating. Anna, blinded by her love for Jacob, overstays her student visa and consequently gets banned from re-entering the United States. After experiencing a forced LDR, Jacob flies to London to visit Anna, and her father suggests that getting married might resolve the issue, but they are not ready for this big step. Jacob goes back to LA and basically chooses his job over Anna, but after some time, they realize that they can’t be apart, and they decide to get married. Six months after the marriage, when the time for the appeal of Anna’s ban comes, it gets rejected, and they lose their last hope of being together. Again, they go back to their sad lives, but after some time, Anna is finally offered a visa, and she leaves everything behind to reunite with Jacob. The ending scene shows how this separation has damaged their relationship, and things will never be the same.

The movie portrays the hardships of a long-distance relationship and the damage the separation can do to two souls and their connection. I think the recent movie by "Celine Song" named "Past Lives" was partially similar to like crazy, but also there was a big difference; unlike Nora and Haesung in “Past Lives”, Anna and Jacob don’t leave it to fate, they don’t forget about each other and don’t settle down with others just because their love seemed difficult or impossible.

They found true happiness only next to each other and did everything against all odds (especially Anna) to take that back. Maybe if Anna and Jacob weren’t in love like crazy and were more mature and realistic, they would end up like Nora and Haesung (Sorry if this spoiled that movie for you), but they didn’t and made their own bittersweet ending.

Many people claim that “Like Crazy” is a breakup movie with a sad ending, therefore, Jimin’s song also must be a breakup song. But, first of all, the ending can somehow be considered an open ending. We don’t know what happens after the shower scene, but we see them together, in each other’s arms, and this is not a totally sad ending by any movie standards. Other than that, Anna and Jacob became separated a few times, but they don't officially break up by choice, their separation is the result of contractual rules and laws, made by society.

This movie, as its director explained, might be originally about a long-distance relationship, but also the main relationship in this movie can be seen as a relationship that gets strained by laws and regulations, it’s about the rules and imaginary borders that decide if two people can be together or ban them from it. It’s a story of the “love against law”.

A Heterosexual Love Story?

When “Like Crazy” was released in theatres back in 2011, it got positive reviews for good acting that made the movie feel sweet and intimate with mostly improvised dialogues. Meanwhile, the negative reviews were focused on the plotline of this drama, calling it far from reality. Other than the fact that Jacob could have easily resolved this issue by taking his job from LA to London, in reality, the couple wouldn’t have faced this much difficulty over the legal complications, especially after getting married.

The fact is, straight couples usually never face this kind of hardship, and governments take that easy on them otherwise, there wouldn’t be so many sham marriages around the world just to get citizenship. So, the idea of a couple getting separated by law is not common, and that’s why many people called this movie implausible. But, a queer person can familiarly receive this implausibility, like when they want to be with someone forever, but the laws don’t let them.

Could it be this feeling that made “Like Crazy” special and a source of inspiration for Jimin? Or was it something smaller like the Santa Monica beach scene? I have no answer, I only make theories, and I think it’s better to leave the movie here and start the lyrical interpretation to see how these words and feelings can get connected.

The Lyrics

[Intro]

(I think we could last forever (I'm afraid that everything will disappear Just trust me)

As I said earlier, this intro is not a dialogue from the movie, but the narrators were told to do it based on the audio from the movie that was sent to them. So, hypothetically, it’s Anna and Jacob having this conversation. He is afraid of losing everything, but Anna assures him that if he trusts her, they can last forever. In the MV, we see Jimin standing in the crowd, but the time goes in reverse, and through a transition into his eyes, we see him sitting alone. Weirdly, the outro of the song is playing in the background here, but we will figure out the reason later.

[Verse 1]

Korean Version, Translated

She's saying Baby, don't think about it There's not a bad thing here tonight Baby, it's fine if you leave Stay with me, just for today

English Version

She's saying, Baby, come and follow me There's not a bad thing here tonight Save your reasons all for later Stay with me a little while

Anna asks him to follow her and assures him that everything is fine, it’s fine if this is not going to last long. It’s not the time for reason and overthinking. The gendered pronoun here refers to Anna, but we will know more about her in the next verses. It is worth mentioning that in the primary handwritten lyrics by Jimin, there was no “She” and it was modified later considering the dialogues added to the intro. Anyway, we know Jimin didn’t release these drafts in his album for no reason.

In this part of the MV, we see Jimin sitting alone in a room, and with a flicker of lights, the room is filled with mud. Suddenly, a muddy hand of a girl grabs Jimin’s hand and leads him to a party. There are several symbols in this part, the lonely room is Jimin’s reality, and the party is his dream. The mud symbolizes dreams and desires that leave their trace on your life and soul.

[Verse 2]

Korean Version, Translated

Watch me go Drenching myself all night (Away) So that even the morning Gets drunk and doesn't arrive

English Version

Watch me go Now, I sink down, all alone away Where am I? A dark haze clouding up my eyes

From here, we don’t see the girl because Jimin and the girl became one. She was her reflection from the beginning, the side that leads him out of his loneliness, and allures him to his dreams and desires, tempts him to be careless and stop thinking too much. Some say she is Jimin’s Anima, but these lyrics never go to the deep levels of the subconscious to reach the Anima. She is his feminine side that is a tangible side of him, and Jimin’s asymmetric makeup gives it away. Also, the mirrored moves between Jimin and the female dancer in “Like Crazy’s” choreography made it clear that the feminine presence in this song is Jimin’s reflection.

[Pre-Chorus]

Korean Version, Translated

As the loud music I get faded out A cliché story like a drama I get used to it Have I come too far to find the me that you used to know Yeah, I know You know I know (Ooh)

English Version

I can hear the voices listening Don't know who they are Trying to take the pressure off Been reaching for the stars Tell me, will I find myself again? When I go too far? Yeah, I know You know, I know (Ooh)

Jimin enters the party and starts drinking, dancing, and having fun with the others. He laughs and enjoys himself in the crowd and trusts the supposed strangers, but the confusion doesn’t leave him alone. He feels lost, and as the lyrics say, he is worried about going too far and not finding himself again. The two opposite sides of him are conflicting. It’s the contradiction between "fear and desire", between "pain and numbness", between "loneliness and losing yourself", and between "reason and dream" that leaves him confused.

[Chorus and Post Chorus]

Korean Version, Translated

I'd rather be Lost in the lights, Lost in the lights I'm outta my mind Hold onto the end of the night Every night You spin me up high The moon with you in its arms Let me have a taste Give me a good ride (Oh, I'm fallin', I'm fallin', I'm fallin') Oh, it's gon' be a good night (Oh, I'm fallin') Forever, you and I

English Version

I'd rather be Lost in the lights, lost in the lights I'm outta my mind Can you help me numb the pain? Each night, you spin me up high Emotions on ice Let me have a taste Give me a good ride (Oh, I'm fallin', I'm fallin', I'm fallin') Oh, it's gon' be a good night (Oh, I'm fallin') Forever, you and I

In this part, he confesses which side he really wants to follow. He wants to go out of his mind, lose himself to the desire, and leave the reason behind. It’s the escapism that saves him from loneliness and the pain of real life. The chorus is the sexy and at the same time, the most poetic part of this song, especially where he is spinning up high in the arms of the moon.

The last line of the post-chorus, “Forever you and I” which also repeats in the last part of the interlude, is crucial because it declares that Jimin is not talking about vagrancy or promiscuity. He wants it all with his significant other, the only one who can help him numb the pain of real life and escape it. But this escapism has its consequences, and we see all that mud flush out of every corner symbolizing it. This scene artistically ends with Jimin facing his reflection in the crowd. The question is, is this reflection the same significant other, or is it Jimin himself? We will get the answer in the next part.

[Verse 3]

Korean Version, Translated

The me, reflected in the mirror Is going crazy endlessly I'm feelin' so alive, wasting time

English Version

All my reflections, I Can't even recognize I'm feelin' so alive, wasting time

His fear of losing himself was true, and it's happening now. This duality confuses him and makes him question his reality. Which side is the true Jimin? He doesn't care anymore because this escapism makes him feel alive.

Here in the MV, we see Jimin facing the reflection, and it immediately cuts to the restroom scene where he faces his literal reflection in the mirror and talks to him about not recognizing him anymore. Then, the restroom being dismantled symbolizes his state of mind. "The reflection of myself in an unfamiliar appearance" was the concept of "his "FACE" which was a whole album about Jimin himself.

[Outro]

This will break me This is gonna break me (Break me) No, don't you wake me (Wake me) I wanna stay in this dream, don't save me Don't you try to save me (Save me) I need a way we (Way we) I need a way we can dream on (On, on, on) (Alone again What's the point?)

Jimin knows the consequences of losing himself but embraces it. He knows it's gonna break him but doesn't want to wake up from his dream. He knows everything will collapse but doesn't need a savior. He wants to stay in that dream, but he knows it's impossible, and sooner or later, he will be dragged out of it.

Is there a way to cut all the connections to the real world of loneliness and stay in this dream forever? We get the answer in the MV, and it's not positive because suddenly, everything goes backward in speed, to where we started (remember the outro being played in the beginning? That was the clue).

He goes back to his lonely room with a muddy hand. Did his hand get dirty from a touch of his reflection, or was the muddy hand in the beginning his own hand? Is he trapped in a loop? Maybe. Maybe this wasn't his first or the last time coming back from that dreamland, and it was the reason for so much mud accumulated in his room. He is a regular in that dreamland and he can't quit.

Conclusion

It's understandable if this analysis of the movie, lyrics, and the MV didn't guide you in any direction, and maybe you are even more confused after reading it all. But don't blame yourself because Jimin already told us that, his emotions for this movie are complex. So, don't look for just one answer, maybe we are not supposed to end up with one conclusion, and this song also can have multiple interpretations and meanings. But what are these meanings?

If you pay attention to the lyrics and the MV you will realize that despite them being aligned and in sync, the lyrics have more connection to the movie. While filming the MV, Jimin mentioned that things (scenes of the MV) didn't happen like this in real life, which was an obvious fact, because this song is clearly not about being the life of the party and stuff like that, and has more internal meanings.

In "Like Crazy", Jimin talks about the loneliness of his real life, the isolation and limitations he experienced during the pandemic, and maybe other times. But Jimin finds an alternate reality, where he can be himself, be free and careless, and forget about the future. This alternate reality is rooted in two possibilities: The feminine side, and the significant other. The feminine side is what we face in the MV, and there are not many signs of it in the lyrics.

The feminine side appears as a muddy hand and a presence at the part that faces Jimin and becomes one with him as his reflection. The idea of "bigender" is nothing new in the concepts that Jimin has offered on different occasions, from his fake tattoos in ARMY-Zip 2019 to the performance of "Filter" in 2020 and his photopholio in 2022, he has expressed this fluidity in his work, and I think the visual concept of "Like Crazy" with his different makeup in the MV and the choreography was the epitome of it.

What about the significant other? As I mentioned in the analysis of chorus parts, "Forever You and I" Can only be interpreted as his exclusiveness to someone who is his significant other. This person is the one who saves Jimin from his loneliness and assures him about their happy ending. This person has no doubt in them lasting forever and only wants Jimin to trust him to take the lead and let that happen.

He keeps saying to his significant other that there is no future. They can't be together forever, this is just a temporary situation, and despite finding comfort in each other, they should not get attached because they will forced to be separated. It's not like Jimin doesn't believe in this love, he does and has the same wishes and dreams, but he keeps getting dragged to the real world where the rules govern.

This part is just a personal opinion as a Jikooker, but I did this analysis in my head last year when "Like Crazy" was newly released and had no intention of making a connection between this and Jikook, until "Seven" came out. We all know JK had no hand in making the sexy lyrics of "Seven", but after watching the MV (which had nothing to do with the lyrics), I couldn't unsee the fact that the concept of Seven's MV looked so much like a response to "Like Crazy's" lyrics. Still, we don't know if JK gave any ideas for the concept of the MV, but considering his record of working as an MV director, it's not impossible.

The End.

This is all I could say about "Like Crazy", a masterpiece that is still thriving in the charts and still touches people's hearts because it comes from real and deep emotions that Jimin had in his heart. That emotion got us the moment we listened to it for the first time, even though verbalizing it, is never easy, no matter how many analyses and reviews we write.

#jimin #jikook #like crazy #analysis

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rafedaddy01 · 5 months

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Hii, I was thinking about a posesive Rafe that’s in love with Topper’s younger sister, The whole island knows she’s his girl but when he realizez Pope/Jj (or Both) has a crush on her The PDA goes to 100%, Topper hates this of course because it’s his sister and Rafe makes a plan. At a party The guys walk in on them while she’s riding him but Even when they walk in she doesn’t stop. And she looks anything but inocent, and before she got togheter with Rafe she was super inocent and shy about sex and sexual stuff and if he Could Say something about that It would be Great. Hopefully you like The idea 🥺

My Bestfriends Sister

Summary: Rafe must show the world that you’re his, but what happens when you beat him to it.

Warnings: smut, riding, oral, fingering, language, possessives, arguing, fighting, drinking

I have a plan, I always have a plan.

Sometimes they work out sometimes they don’t, but this one will. She is my girl and nobody can have her.

“Topper man, I’m telling you. It will work!” I plead with my best friend. He’s never been fond of the idea of me dating his little sister, but fuck him. I love her and he’s just gonna have to put up with it.

“Rafe..” topper scratched his head as he contemplates for the right words.

“Don’t take this the wrong way but your kinda a fuckboy, what makes you think you could my sister happy?” Topper looks nervous, he best fucking be. He knows if best his ass in a second if he said something to upset me.

But I’m not that man anymore. Not for a while, not since.. her

I glared at him for a second before I found my words.

“Trust me bro, it’ll work”

** later at the party

“Dude, did you see y/n tonight. In that tight little dress that hugged her ass so perfectly! I’m gonna ask her out tonight” the pouge scum had the audacity to speak about my girl right in front of me, he doesn’t know what he’s in for.

To be fair he doesn’t know I’m right behind him, but he will soon.

“What the fuck did you just say?” I turn him around so quickly I’m surprised his head is still attached to his body.

“Say that shit again and you won’t live to see another day, pouge” I spit the word in his face so that he remembers his place.

“Shit relax Rafe, I thought you’d of all people appreciate a little ass” JJ chuckled like it was the funniest shit he’s ever said.

“That piece of ass is my girlfriend you piece of shit”

The last think I remember is swinging my fist right into his perfect little nose and stepping back to watch the blood seep out as his friends surround him.

I need a drink.

I stumble into the kitchen and pour myself the strongest shit I can find, whiskey. It’ll do.

“Rafe!”

Instant comfort fills my chest at the familiar voice.

“There she is” I wrap my arms around my girl and bring her close, embracing her rose scent. “Missed you”

I plopped her down onto the counter and stepped between her thighs. “So much” my mouth travelled to her neck and my fingers traced up her smooth thighs, pushing the material of her skirt up.

She tilted her head back and a small giggle left her lips. Fuck that sound, had my dick straining against my jeans more than it already was.

“I miss you too” her voice was low and dripping with arousal, almost as much as her pretty cunt when I dipped my fingers to touch her soaked panties.

“Fuck” I growled as I wrapped her legs around my waist and carried her out of the kitchen, past the crowd and showing everyone that she’s mine.

I push the door to her room open and throw her onto the bed.

“My dirty girl, can’t even let me enjoy one night of fun without being a horny slut can you?” I stride over to her and pull her to the edge of the bed before kneeling down to her pretty clothed pussy.

“Please” her whine was music to my ears.

“Please what baby” I run my nose up the inside of her thigh until I nudge her covered clit, which is already magnificently swollen with want.

“You have to use your words” I bite the inside of her thigh as I trace my fingers over the wet spot on her panties.

“I want you, I need you Rafe, please!”

I barely let her finish the sentence before I’m tearing her panties down and diving in for a taste.

“Fucking magnificent, you taste like heaven baby” I groan the words into her cunt as I dive in for more.

“Rafe!” She grips onto my hair and it drives me wild, I’m in deep shit with this girl.

“Scream baby, let everyone know your mine” I demand her just as I stuff her pretty cunt with two of my fingers and curve.

I know her body like the back of my hand and one push onto her delicate spot has her melting right into me.

“Oh shit! Rafe, god don’t stop”

She’s grinding down on my hand and I’m about to bust if I don’t get inside her right now.

“Come on baby, let go for me” I praise her through her high as she slowly starts coming down.

“Good girl” I knead her thighs as I push off my knees and stand to undress.

She watched me with hungry eyes as I strip down my boxers and my dick hits my stomach.

“You dirty dirty girl, what happened to that innocent y/n I met? Hmm?” I stroke her cheek and plant my lips on her before pulling away and aligning myself up.

“Wait!”

“What is it baby?”

She gives me the most innocent look and says “I wanna ride you”

A dark chuckle leaves me body as I position myself on the bed.

“Come here bunny” she crawls over to me and I help her out of the rest of her clothes so her perky tits are right in my face and she sits down on my cock.

“Fuck” we both grown out at the relinquished feeling.

She’s starts bouncing up and down and I’m grabbing her tits, putting one nipple in my mouth and sucking. Fuck this is heaven, and I’m the only one who gets to see her like this.

Almost like she could read my mind she says, “I’m the only one rafey, I’m yours, oh god, right there”

Just when I’m about to take control the door swings open.

“Hey Rafe I-“

I expect her to stop at the presence of her brother and kelce but she starts bouncing again while making eye contact.

“Oh my god!” Topper rushes out of the room while kelce on the other hand leans against the door and watches.

And my little slut loves it. She puts on the best show, “oh shit, I’m so close!” She starts toying with her clit while making eye contact with kelce.

I grip her throat and face her towards me. “Your mine, got it?” I slap her ass and take control, thrusting up into her.

“Get out” I bark at kelce without even looking at him and he leaves.

“Such a slut baby, does it get you off to know that my friends and your brother saw your fall apart on my dick?” She clenches around my cock at my words.

“Yes!”

I’m thrusting at a relentless pace now and she’s taking everything I’m giving her.

“Such a good girl, and all mine”

She comes with a scream as I pound into a couple more times and let my cum go deep inside her.

“And now everybody knows it” I kiss her hard and deep and feel her body fall into me, I’m never letting her go.

Taglist

@f4ll-for-you @v21sstuff @rafeysworldim19 @baby19sthings @eventualoptimism @drewstarkeysbae @sevenwivesofrafecameron @rxfecameronsslut @findapenny @r1vrsefx @spencerreidsrealgf @rafescokenostril

#outer banks #rafe cameron #drew starkey #smut #dark rafe cameron #drewstarkey smut #outerbanks #drewstarkey #rafecameron #fanfic #dark rafe #smut drew #drew fluff #dark smut #smut drew starkey #drew starkey fanfiction

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captainfern · 7 months

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Bestie- I know requests are closed and ily and I apologize I'm really just writing this so the idea is in the air and now wasted. But I was wondering if you could do a fic of Price + 141 where reader accidentally used a pheromone perfume.

It WORKS tho, like WORK WORKS. The guys (or just Price ofc) just kinda run on instinct and are super like..RAR SEX ya know??

Also HII IT'S BEEN SO LONG SINCE I'VE REQUESTED!!! My birthday was the 15th, I'm now 20😐 but I also got a car so😋

Anywho glad to be back reading your stuff after I went away for a bit. LOVED the Marigold stories that came out!!!! Love that series sm. Thank you!!

-🌻🐾

aghh this is so late i’m sorry !! but happy late birthday and i hope you had a lovely day <3

here’s a birthday present for you x sorry it’s not a full fic, but i hope you enjoy anyway :)

18+, gn!reader, 141

price

he smells it on you and does a double take like what ?? what is that smell ??

you’re all like “what smell ?? 🙈”

starts rubbing his facial hair against your neck like a cat, trying to collect as much of the smell as possible on him — he’s gripping your hips and pressing you as close to him as he possibly can while he does it

pinching and grabbing at your hips each time you try and put some space between the two of you. he continues to rub his beard against you, it tickling your soft skin

he’s grunting and not really listening to you as you try and speak to him. the only time he responds is when you say that he can fuck you and he goes off !!

ruts into you hard, nosing up and down your neck, kissing along your pulse. he’s got a heavy grip on your hips, no doubt leaving indents, as he thrusts in and out of you

his sounds are deep, like grunts and groans, and he doesn’t talk much, so focused on that yearning feeling clawing inside him each time he inhaled the sweet smell of you

gaz

you physically show him the perfume and show you putting it on, and he’s all like “that will never work it’s fake 🙄”

spoiler alert: it worked

throughout the day, he’s following you around like a lost puppy, trying to put his hands on you any chance he can, even just holding your hand or wrapping his arm around your lower back — you feel so warm against him and you smell so good he can’t help it

if you applied some on your inner wrists, he’ll place gentle kisses there and along your arm, leaving your skin sparkling with tiny patches of saliva

he whines any time you pull your arm away, especially if you’re carrying on with your day at home as usual after putting the perfume on. he’ll whine and try to get your attention without actually trying to get your attention

when you finally give in, he’s eating you out like no tomorrow — you’ve sprayed a bit on your inner thighs, so he’s pressing his cheeks to them as he shoves his tongue inside your hole

is a whiner and whimperer !! so so desperate for more, tasting you on his tongue and smelling your heady scent

soap

he buys the perfume for you 100%

real cocky about it too. he knows it’ll work and he can’t wait to test it out

tries licking it at first, dragging his tongue across your neck or wrists, and you have to fend him off before the cheeky cunt licks it all off of you lmao

if you’ve sprayed some on your pillows/clothes, you’ll come home to find him burying his face in it, probably grinding his hardened cock into the mattress, moaning your name under his breath

he’s obsessed with you, but you can’t blame him, you’re fucking stunning !! he’s so happy just to start humping up against your arse, pressing his cock against you, moaning loudly

fucks you doggy, pounds you straight into the damn mattress with deep, heavy thrusts that have you mewling, his full balls slapping against you

moans loudly, and definitely kisses wet and sloppy along your spine, leaving a trail of spit as he fucks you harder into the bed

ghost

you watch his pupils physically dilate right in front of you as he catches the smell

he straight up starts salivating too

intrigued by the way whatever you’re wearing is effecting his body — drapes his body over yours carefully, whole body weight against you, your back against his front as he casually inhales in deep breaths

very attentive and loving — rubbing the fat of your thighs and arse gently, hands splaying across your tummy, interlocking his fingers with yours, massaging your shoulders and back

keeps his face buried in your neck the whole time basically. if he had been wearing his black paint, it’d be smudged all across your skin

mmm he fucks you nice and slow, and no matter the pigment of your skin he is sucking kisses and dark bruises all over your neck and chest !! his thrusts are almost too slow, but he’s grinding his pelvis against yours and making you tremble beneath him

praises you the whole time, telling you how good you are for him, how much he loves you, how pretty you are, how perfect your body is, how proud he is for you taking all of his cock <3

#captainfern #captainfernsalutes #call of duty #cod smut #simon ghost riley #johnny soap mactavish #kyle gaz garrick #captain john price #call of duty mw2

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bellaireland1981 · 10 months

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Special Delivery for the Birthday Boy

Summary: You enlist Phoenix’s help to surprise your husband on his birthday. You’d been living on opposite coasts since he’d been called back to Top Gun and you were ready to reunite with him just in time to celebrate his birthday. An added bonus is you also get to surprise the rest of the Daggers who have no clue that Bradley is married.

Word Count: 3.9K

Pairings: Bradley “Rooster” Bradshaw x Female! Reader

Warnings: Fluff, mentions of birthday sex but no actual smut, mentions of pregnancy.

A/N: I do not own TGM characters, I DO NOT give permission to anyone to repost, copy or translate my work to any other platform or website. Don’t steal my work... it’s not cool. AS always thank you to @waywardodysseys and @beyondthesefourwalls for letting me bounce ideas off them and encouraging me!! Reblogs and comments always appreciated!

Masterlist

Side note: Meant to get this posted yesterday but wanted to redo a few things on it...still not 100% sure I love how it turned out but...here you go!

YOU: HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY! I LOVE YOU! I’ll be in interviews all day but I’ll FaceTime you tonight. Fly Safe! 💋

HUBBY: Thank you, Dove. I miss you so much 🙁 Wish you were here. Love you 💗

“Are you sure he doesn’t know I’m coming?” You asked, putting your suitcase into the back and climbing into the passenger seat. “Thanks again for coming to get me!”

“Y/N, I promise, he’s absolutely clueless.” Phoenix assured you, smiling. “He’s been moping around all day because he can’t get a hold of you. And you’re welcome! I can’t wait to see his face!”

“I can’t wait to see his face either… I miss that face.” You said, leaning back in the seat. “I’ll be so happy when we’re living on the same damn coast again.”

“When will that be?” She asked, merging into the traffic leaving the San Diego International Airport. “Rooster mentioned you had some loose ends to tie up out East.”

“That’s part of his birthday present.” You said beaming, “I actually just accepted a teaching position for the fall. I had an interview over Zoom yesterday. Bradley thinks I’m in interviews all day today.”

“Y/N that’s awesome!” Phoenix exclaimed, “He’ll be so damn excited.”

“I’m excited.” You laughed, “I’ve had enough of being across the country from my husband. Especially after the last mission. How are things really going with him and Maverick?”

“Honestly?” She said, “Much better than when we got back to Top Gun. They’ve talked and are actively trying. It’s been really good for Rooster.”

“Good.” You replied, “I’ve been trying to get him to reach out for a few years. He just wasn’t ready. I’m glad he got this chance. It’ll be interesting to meet the man.”

“He’s a good guy.” She said, “Bob and I are the only ones that know about you, by the way.”

“I figured.” You laughed. “I’m kind of looking forward to that bombshell being dropped too. From everything I’ve heard about everyone, the reactions should be priceless. I’m especially looking forward to Hangman’s reaction.”

“Oh, this will be absolutely priceless.” Phoenix laughed, “For as much shit as he gives Rooster for never hitting on women at the Hard Deck and not having any game… he’s going to have to eat his words. He’ll most likely hit on you though if he meets you before knowing you’re married to Rooster.”

“Are things better between them though?” You asked, “I know Hangman wasn’t Bradley’s favorite person… and they’ve butted heads in the past. When it counted though, that man came through for my husband and it’s a debt I’ll never be able to repay.”

“They’ve formed a tentative friendship.” She said, “It’s new… but there is a strong mutual respect between them. They’ve flown better together in training since the mission…have become a pretty damn good team actually.”

“It makes me feel better knowing he’s got the best pilots in the Navy flying with him.” You said, “I always felt safer when I knew he was deployed with you.”

“Just because you know I’ll keep his ass out of trouble.” She laughed. “I get it though. You have to trust your wingman. This last mission showed us that we can really all trust one another to come through for each other.”

She pulled into the driveway of her apartment complex parking her car and the two of you got out. You grabbed your suitcase from the back and followed her up to her apartment.

“Ok I just need like a half hour to shower and get ready!” You said, “Then I’ll be ready to go!”

“Take your time.” She laughed, “I’ll grab a towel for you. While you shower, I’ll text the group. Jake is actually in charge of getting Bradley to the Hard Deck for birthday drinks.”

You opened your suitcase, pulling out a sundress you’d left on top for easy access. It was one of Bradley’s favorites on you so you made sure to pack it. You grabbed the strapless bra and matching lace panties you’d bought to wear with the dress and headed to the shower. You tied your hair up so it wouldn’t get wet and quickly jumped into the shower.

True to your word, thirty minutes later you were dressed and ready to go. You’d left your hair down, opted for light makeup and only wore a necklace Bradley had given you for your anniversary (a Dove pendant on a dainty silver chain). You slipped your feet into wedge sandals and grabbed your purse and the small gift bag with Bradley’s other birthday present in it and headed out to the living room where Phoenix was waiting.

“Ready!” You said, excited to finally be headed out to see your husband.

“Jake said he’s having a hard time getting Rooster to go to the bar. He asked him after work and he said he was just going to go home.” Phoenix said. “I can drop you off at the Hard Deck then go to the house and drag his ass out. He’ll listen to me.”

“Hold on.” You said, “He’s probably waiting for me to FaceTime him and doesn't want to miss that call… SHIT! He’ll recognize your apartment…. Ok…. no problem.. I’ve got this.”

You brought your husband’s name up on your phone, hitting the call button.

“Baby you said FaceTime.” Bradley complained, answering the phone on the second ring. “Where’s your beautiful face?”

“I know, Sweetie,” You replied, sighing, “I promise I’ll FaceTime you later tonight. I messed up the time difference and I got a call from another school to interview with. I just really want to find a job out there so I can get to you. How about you go get a birthday drink with Nix and then by the time you get home I’ll be free and we can FaceTime.”

“It’s OK, Dove.” He said, “Good luck in the interview, Baby. They’ll all want you and you’ll have your pick of jobs. I just miss you so damn much. I want to be able to come home to you at night. I love you.”

“I love you too, Bradley.” You said, your heart breaking at how sad he sounded, even knowing you were about to make him so happy. “I’ll be home there with you before you even know it and you’ll be coming home to me every single night. Promise you’ll go get a drink with your friends? Celebrate your birthday?”

“I promise.” He said, “I’ll talk to you later, Baby. Good Luck.”

“Thank you, Sweetie.” You replied, “I love you so so much.”

“Love you too.” He replied.

After hanging up you had Phoenix text the group chat again to let everyone know that drinks were happening at the Hard Deck in thirty minutes for Bradshaw’s birthday. Then she texted Bradley and let him know she wasn’t taking ‘No’ for an answer.

PHOENIX: Bradshaw, your ass better be at the Hard Deck in 30 minutes or I’ll be at your house to drag your ass out myself. 😡

ROOSTER: My wife already texted you? Lol 😂 I’m changing out of my flight suit now. Be there in 30.

“Alright, he’s changing now!” Phoenix said, smiling, “Let’s get you to your husband!”

You pulled your suitcase back down to her car, throwing it into the back again to be transferred to your husband’s Bronco once you were at the Hard Deck. Knowing you were going to be seeing him in 30 minutes caused excitement to flood your system. You’d been married for three years, together for five and gone through much longer deployments and separations that the one you’d just been through, but never before had he flown such a dangerous mission where it had been pretty much assumed someone wasn’t coming home.

“Not long now!” Phoenix said, smiling over at you, knowing where your head was going. “An added bonus to this new assignment is the deployments won’t be as often or as long. We will actually be getting to do more instructing of the new classes of Top Gun students in between missions. You won’t have to worry about long separations anymore.”

“I’ve done ok as long as I didn’t let myself think about it too much.” You said, “The minute I let myself think about how close he came to not coming home… I lose it.”

“You’ll feel much better once you see him and have him back in your arms.” She promised, “I know he’ll feel better once he’s got you in his arms too.”

“You’re right.” You said. “Just need him in my arms.”

She pulled into the parking lot of the bar a short time later and you made your way inside.

“Looks like everyone except Rooster is here.” Phoenix said, spotting everyone in their regular corner of the bar when they walked in. “Let’s go grab drinks from the bar and kill time until he gets here. I want him to be the one to introduce you.”

You followed her to the bar, sitting in one of the free seats.

“Hey, Phoenix.” Penny said, coming over, “What can I get for you two?”

“Hey, Penny.” She replied, “I’ll take a beer, Y/N?”

“Just a Ginger Ale or Sprite if you have it?” You asked, smiling. “I’m going to be DD tonight for my husband.”

“One of these aviators belong to you?” Penny asked, grabbing the beer for Phoenix and filling a glass with ice and pouring the amber soda for you.

“He’s not here yet.” You replied, smiling. “But yeah, I have to take claim for an aviator.”

“Penny, do you know if Mav is coming tonight?” Phoenix asked, winking at you. “Figured he might pop in for Rooster’s birthday.”

“I think he said he’s stopping in.” She replied, “I’m so glad those two are finally talking!”

“You and me both!” Phoenix replied, taking a drink of her beer.

“Phoenix, why are you sitting over here keeping your beautiful friend here from joining us?” A smooth voice sounded behind you both. You turned and smirked, knowing exactly who was standing behind you.

“Bagman, you’re not allowed to harass my friend.” Phoenix said, rolling her eyes. “She is definitely not your type.”

“I’m Hangman.” He said, flashing a megawatt smile, complete with dimples. You were sure that smile landed him plenty of ladies. You had to bite back a laugh when you glanced over at Phoenix who was rolling her eyes. “Or Jake, whichever you prefer.”

“I’m Y/N. It’s nice to meet you, Hangman.” You replied, glancing behind him as the door opened and a very familiar mustached aviator walked in wearing one of his million Hawaiian shirts. Thankfully he hadn’t seen you yet so you still had the element of surprise. “Phoenix is right though, you’re not my type. I only give my heart to 6 '1”, brown eyed,curly haired, aviators with mustaches and a penchant for Hawaiian shirts.”

“Oddly specific…” He said, confused, but turning to see where your eyes had landed. You hopped off the seat and moved past him, straight into Bradley’s line of sight.

“Lieutenant Bradshaw!” You called, catching his attention. His head shot up, his eyes locking in on you immediately, a shocked smile stretching across his face. “Surprise, Baby! Happy Birthday!”

“Dove!” He exclaimed, finally snapping out of his shock. He closed the distance between you two quickly, meeting him in the middle, and scooped you up into his arms. Your legs wrapped around him so he was holding you koala style, your lips locking against his own in a passionate kiss, neither of you caring that you were standing in the middle of a crowded bar. “Fuck, I’ve missed you so damn much, Y/N. I can’t believe you’re really here!”

“Forgive me for not FaceTiming now?” You asked, laughing “I was at Phoenix’s apartment when I called.”

“You’re a little minx.” He laughed. “I forgive you baby.”

“Bradshaw!” Jake said, “Care you’ve got some explaining to do.”

“Give me a minute, Hangman.” Bradley replied, setting you down, but not letting you go. “I haven’t seen my wife in a couple of months. Let me say ‘hello’.”

“WIFE?” Jake exclaimed, “Phoenix, you know about this?”

“Yup.” She smirked, leading Jake away from you and Bradley. “Give them a minute. They’ll join us shortly.”

You were still wrapped in Bradley’s arms and you finally felt like you were home.

“I can’t believe you’re really here, Dove.” He said, resting his forehead against your own. “You look so beautiful, Baby.”

“I’m really here, my love.” You promised, kissing him softly. “It’s so good to see your face and kiss you and to be in your arms. I love you so much. From now on, I will go where you go whenever humanly possible.”

“I love you too, Beautiful.” He replied, “I’m hoping this will be our permanent home base. How close are we to being a one coast family?”

“Actually, how likely is it that you can get leave to help me pack up our Virginia house?” You asked.

“Pretty likely.” He smiled, “Do you have a timeline?”

“Whenever you’re ready.” You said, “I accepted a job out here for the fall, officially resigned at the district in Virginia Beach and cleared out my classroom two days ago.”

“FUCK YES!” He exclaimed, picking you up and swinging you around, “I’ll put in for leave tomorrow. As soon as it’s granted we’ll book a flight back and pack it all up and list the house.”

“Bradshaws!” Jake yelled, “Join the party!”

“We’re being paged.” You laughed, “Come on, Baby. Introduce me to your friends.”

You and Bradley walked over to the corner where everyone had congregated and introductions were made.

“Everyone, this is my wife Y/N.” Bradley said, happy to finally get to introduce you to everyone, “Baby, this is the squad. You’ve met Hangman. That’s Payback, Fanboy, Coyote, and you already know Bob.”

“Hey Y/N” Bob said, coming over to hug you, “It’s good to see you again!”

“Hi, Bob!” You replied smiling, hugging him back, “It’s so good to see you too!” Then looking at the rest of the group you smiled and said, “It’s so nice to finally meet you all. Bradley’s told me all about you guys.”

“Wait a damn minute!” Jake said, turning to glare and Bradley, “Phoenix and Bob BOTH knew you had a wife? What the HELL, Rooster? I saved your life and I don’t get to be in the cool kids club knowing you have a WIFE? I thought we were friends, man.”

“Jake…”Bradley said, unsure what to say, “Come on man, it’s not like that…we are friends…”

You look over at Jake who’s doing all that he can to not smile, enjoying the fact that Bradley has no idea what to say.

“Baby, he’s playing you.” You told your husband, winking at Jake. “Jake, stop bullying my husband. It’s his birthday. Play nicely and you come over for home cooked meals.”

“Yes, Ma’am.” He replied, smiling, “Sorry, Rooster. Couldn’t resist. Congrats on the beautiful wife. She’s a firecracker. Definitely keep her.”

“I plan on it, Hangman.” Bradley said, shaking his head at the blonde aviator.

The night continues with the group playing pool, swapping stories, drinking and you filling them in on how you and Bradley met and ended up married. Eventually, Phoenix made her way to the Jukebox and pulled the plug, silencing the music, causing your husband to chuckle. There was a mixed reaction from the bar to the music being cut. Some booed, upset that whatever had been playing was cut off mid song, the rest cheered, clearly knowing something was about to happen.

“That’s my cue, Baby.” Bradley said, tapping your leg to signal he needed up. You stood up to let him get off the chair, but before you could sit back down, he grabbed your hand and pulled you along with him to an upright piano.

“They clearly know your party trick.” You teased, “Come on birthday boy, serenade your fans.” Bradley sat down on the bench, pulling you down next to him. His fingers moved over the keys, playing a random melody before launching into the familiar intro chords to Great Balls of Fire. You knew he could play a million other songs, but this one in particular held the most meaning to him as it was the one his dad had played and sang when he was little before he died.

You could tell Bradley had done this before here because everyone crowded around and were singing along with him while he played. You joined in, belting out the song alongside your husband. KISS ME BABY.. (you leaned in to kiss him quickly) OOOOO THAT FEELS GOOD, HOLD ME BABY….. WELL, I’LL STILL HOLD YOU LIKE A LOVER SHOULD….. YOU’RE FINE…. SO KIND… I GOT TO TELL THIS WORLD THAT YOU’RE MINE MINE MINE MINE!

When the song finished the bar erupted into loud cheers and chants yelling “ROOSTER”. You loved seeing your husband in his element like this. You quickly took advantage of being in front of the piano and scooted your husbands fingers off the keys, replacing them with your own and started to play Happy Birthday. You were happy when everyone around you immediately joined in and soon the entire bar was signing to your husband.

“Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy BIRTHDAY dear ROOSTER, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!”

“Make a wish, Baby”! You said, turning towards him.

“All my wishes have come true.” He replied, leaning in to kiss you.

“Hey Rooster,” Phoenix said, gently, not wanting to interrupt the moment. “Mav’s at the bar.”

“Ready to meet my Godfather?” He asked you.

“Definitely ready.” You replied. “Then I’ve got the rest of your birthday present.”

“Baby!” He exclaimed, “You’re here, you’re MOVING here, YOU are my present.”

“Ok, well, there’s more.” You shrugged laughing. “Introduce me to Mav.”

Bradley took your hand and led you to the bar where Mav was sitting sipping a beer. He looked up as you both approached and smiled, standing up.

“Happy Birthday, Kid.” Mav said, hugging Bradley tightly.

“Thanks, Mav.” He replied, hugging him back. “There’s someone I’d like you to meet.”

You stepped closer, smiling softly. You were nervous to meet the man that meant so much to Bradley and who had been like a father to him growing up before everything had exploded. You wanted to help your husband to build that relationship back up, knowing how important it was to have family. Your own parents adored Bradley and had immediately welcomed him into the family when you’d brought him home the first time.

“This is my wife, Y/N.” He said, his arm around your waist, “Baby, this Mav. He helped my mom raise me after my dad died.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Y/N.” Mav said, his voice thick with emotion.

“It’s great to finally meet you too.” You replied, smiling, stepping forward to pull him into a hug. “I’ve heard so much about you.”

“For the record, Y/N’s been trying to get me to reach out for a couple of years now.” Bradley admitted. “I’m just bullheaded.”

“At least he admits it.” You laughed. “We’d love to have you over for dinner though, Mav. I’d really love to get to know you.”

“I would love that, Y/N.” He replied, “I’d love to get to know the one making my Godson so happy.”

“He’s easy to love.” You said, looking over your shoulder at your husband. “He makes me pretty damn happy too.”

“I think I’m going to steal my wife now and take her home.” Bradley said, “She just flew in today and is still on East Coast time.”

“Sounds good.” Mav said, “Enjoy the rest of your birthday, Kid. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Thank you,” He replied, smiling, “See you tomorrow.”

After saying goodbye to the rest of the squad, you were finally able to escape out to the Bronco. Phoenix had already transferred your suitcase while you were inside.

“Do you need me to drive?” You asked, you hadn’t kept track of your husband’s drinks tonight.

“Nope. I’m good.” He said, smiling, opening the passenger door for you,“Only had 2 beers earlier, nothing since. Hop in, Dove.”

You leaned back in the seat, enjoying the air coming in from the open windows as Bradley drove you both home. He had found an apartment not far from base that did short term leases when he’d come back to San Diego for the mission. Now that you knew it would be permanent the two of you could start to look for a house together. You made a mental note to start looking at listings tomorrow while he was at work.

The apartment wasn’t too far from The Hard Deck either, so before long, Bradley was pulling the Bronco into the parking space and shutting it off. He came around to open your door for you before pulling your suitcase from the back of the Bronco.

“Ready to see our temporary home in person?” He asked

“More than ready.” You said, “Especially the bed… I really wanna see the bed.”

“I can’t wait to get you into bed either, Baby.” He smirked, “Birthday sex is the best.”

“Lead the way, Stud.” You winked, “I still have another birthday surprise for you.”

“Is it under your dress?” He asked, taking your hand and leading you to the front door, unlocking it and ushering you inside.

“It is…” You replied, “But I need something from my suitcase first.” You unzipped the suitcase and pulled out the small gift bag inside before handing it to Bradley. “Happy Birthday, Baby.”

He smiled, reaching to take the bag, leaning down to kiss you as he did, “Thank you, Dove.”

He opened the bag, taking out the tissue paper, and pulling out two onesies. Holding them up, you could see the moment it registered in his head what he was looking at. His eyes filled with tears as he read each one.

“Future Aviator, just like my Daddy,” He read, before holding up the other one to read, “Daddy’s Wingman”

He looked up at you, “Baby, you’re….we’re…really?” He was too choked up to get the words out. You smiled, tears of your own spilling over and running down your cheeks.

“Yes” You whispered, unable to get your own voice to work. He carefully set the onesies in the bag and pulled you into his arms, your own going around his neck. His lips connected with yours in a deep kiss, desperate to convey all of his love and feelings to you in that moment.

“We’re having a baby.” He whispered, when you’d both pulled back to breathe. “How far along?”

“I just hit 11 weeks.” You said, then reached for your purse to pull out the sonogram photo you had safely tucked inside, “And actually… let’s go sit on the couch and I’ll show you the sonogram…”

He took your hand leading you to the couch, sitting down with you tucked into his side. You handed him the envelope with the copies of the sonogram from the doctor. He carefully opened it up, pulling them out to look.

“Dove…” He said, shock once again covering his face “Are you serious right now?”

“Surprise!” You chuckled, “Turns out you're top 1% in more than just flying, Baby.”

“We’re having twins.” He smiled, looking at the sonogram, “I’m gonna be a daddy.”

“You’re gonna be the best daddy.” You confirmed, “Happy Birthday, Bradley.”

“This has been the best birthday ever, Dove.” He replied, leaning over to kiss you. “Thank you for making all of my wishes come true.”

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#bradley rooster bradshaw #bradley bradshaw x reader #top gun fanfiction #Miles Teller

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louissolovely · 6 months

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ੈ♡ DATING MATT HC’S!! ⋆｡˚

summary- Matt dating fem reader

warnings- none I don’t think

✩DATES I feel like dates for Matt consist of food and literally doing anything together 😭 (very simple guy) you guys could be sitting at the kitchen counter or in his car eating Taco Bell and laughing from scrolling through TikTok and bro will go home thinking you guys just had the most romantic date ever. It’s honestly super cute because he never gets bored of you and just being there with you makes him feel happy. (Cue nothing by Bruno mars☝🏽)

✩COMPLIMENTS bro is the rizzler idc what you or yo mamma says. He knows exactly what has you kicking and giggling and what makes you bust out laughing. Especially when guys come up to you and say something corny, he can tell how hard your trying to keep in your laugh to not hurt the poor guys feelings which makes him want to laugh even more. It’s honestly adorable when he compliments you because it’s literally out of nowhere. Which is why it makes your heart flutter every time because how genuine it is. “Wait when did you get your nails done? They look so good baby let me see” and he takes your hand SHOOT ME NOW OMG

✩LOVE LANGUAGE is 100% quality time. He’s always trying to invite you places and when you simply cannot show up he feels like you most literally never want to speak to him again. You’ve never felt so terrible. You always make it up to him tho which makes him feel a tiny bit better. Most of the time tho he understands but still tries to throw in a slight joke cause why not. “You’re not coming? Well just say you want to break up damn.” You never find it funny😭. He’s always trying to get you into every vlog and car video. He just wants to be in your presence 24/7 and you don’t mind not one bit. Unless you do then you’re literally lying but wtv. He also feels like he needs you to be there in case he really needs you. If he’s getting jumped by his brothers and losing an argument he’s 100% sure he’s correct about (the horror and betrayal on his face when you tell him he’s wrong) or if he’s scared to do something on his own and needs you to help or simply do it for him. He’s just so boyfriend ugh I can’t do it.

✩KISSING omfg I’ve been waiting for this moment. FOREHEAD AND SHOULDER KISSES BRO. You can tell this has been on my mind for a while. He’s just so sweet with it too he’ll just grab you face and plant a cute ass kiss on your forehead ughhhhhhh I hate this man. Or if he’s comforting you and your face is in his neck and he’s rubbing your back and he places kisses on your shoulder. Bonus points if you’re sitting on his lap.

✩ANNOYING THINGS HE DOES I feel like he can be your favorite person and your worst enemy at the same time. He definitely just randomly jabs you in the side with his finger. Bro idk if this has ever happened to you guys but that shit doesn’t fucking tickle it HURTS SO BAD. And he’ll just keep doing it whenever for whatever. At the most random times too like it’ll be dead silent and he just jabs you in the ribs with the straightest face while your body just gives the most dramatic reaction. He doesn’t care how much you hate it actually he’ll keep on😭. It makes you laugh most of the time and you’ll complain but sometimes your just not in the mood and you get so annoyed and give the most attitude cause what is he doing..he looks at you with furrowed brows “what is wrong with you??” And start just attacking you and jabbing you everywhere possible and you are hurting. You’re trying to yell and be mad but it turns into laughing and now you’re just stuck like that. Sorry

That’s it I’m going to bed but Matt is tloml just needed this to be cleared🫶🏽

#sturniolo triplets #matt sturniolo #matt sturniolo x reader #matt sturniolo x you #fanfic #headcanon #x reader #fiction

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male-body-swap-lover · 7 months

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Becoming the Old Man Next Door

Carter Austin was annoyed that he had to be home for his parents 30th wedding anniversary. The model was only in town for one night, and even that was too much. He hated Fairview and missed the fast life of New York. The 28-year-old was one of the hottest models on the scene and couldn’t believe he was wasting his weekend in his childhood bedroom.

Hon, we are so excited that you are home. We’ve missed you.

You know how busy I’ve been mom. I’m one of the hottest models. I’m constantly booked.

I know. We told Mr. Jarvis that you were coming home and he was so excited to see you.

Mom, I’m 28. I don’t want to go see our old neighbor.

Oh, just do it Carter. It’ll make him happy. He’s lonely. His wife has been dead for 20 years and he has no children. Just do it.

Fine.

I went next door and rang the doorbell. Mr. Jarvis answered the door. I forgot how fat he was.

Austin my boy. So good to see you. Come in come in. Sit down. I’ll get you a drink.

As I sat in his living room, I looked around at his depressing life. The room seemed straight out of the 1970’s, and it reeked of tobacco. 15 minutes. That’s all I need.

Here’s a coke. So, tell me about New York.

It’s fun. I travel the world. I’m one of the top models out there.

I know. I’ve followed you. You are quite the good-looking young men. I bet ladies throw themselves at you.

I get my fair number of women. And men. I don’t discriminate.

I wish I had your life. My life was always boring. And it’s been worse ever since Marian died. I live a lonely life.

Well not everyone can have my life. This coke tastes weird.

That’s because it’s not coke at all. It’s a special potion. You see Carter, I’m tired of being an old man who never did anything with his life. I want a life in the fast lane. So, I am going to steal yours.

What. That’s not possible

I stand up and try to move, but I can’t. It’s like I am frozen in place.

Carter, look in the mirror. Can’t you see the changes have already begun.

As I stared into the mirror, I could see the wrinkles start appearing on my face. Suddenly I started breathing heavier as I felt myself get older. I ran my hands through my hair and it came out in chunks in my hand. I tried to run, to get out, but couldn’t move. My skin was aging. I could feel my youth leaving my body. Passing 30. All of my hair fell out. Passing 40. Stubble appeared on my face. Then it stopped. I looked in the mirror. Damn. I’m fucking old, but I’m fucking hot.

Haha old man. I’m still fucking hot. Look at me. Your plan failed.

You aren’t very smart are ya Carter. That was just step one.

Step one! I turned to him and saw that somehow his hair had grown back in and he looked middle aged. It’s like my hair and age went to him!

Yes, there are three steps. Let’s start step number two.

With that he clapped his hands and suddenly I felt bloated. My stomach was starting to rumble. I looked in the mirror and my face was bubbling. Suddenly it felt like I was blowing up like a balloon. 10, 20, 50, 100, 150, 200 pounds of fat just suddenly appeared on my body. For some reason as I grew, my clothes grew with me.

I was a whale. No one would ever recognize me. It was absolutely disgusting. I used to make fun of people who looked like this. Now I was one of them. I turned and looked at my captor. He looked good. He was so skinny. It’s like all of his weight transferred to my body! He was hot! I was so jealous. Wait he said this was step two, what was step three going to be?!

Damn, I never even looked this good when I used to be in my 40’s. This is amazing. I bet you are wondering about step three. Well, I suppose it’s time to start the final step. Get ready to say goodbye to any remaining part of your old life.

A wave suddenly washed over me. I could feel the life force draining from my body. My facial hair was turning white. My back pain was killing me. I could feel pain everywhere in my body. Arthritis. But I’m only 28. What is happening. I didn’t even think this was possible.

I’m Marvin Jarvis. Wait what! No I’m not Marvin… I’m um….i’m um. What is going on. It’s like I am losing my memories.

What are you doing to me. Why can’t I remember my name. Why do I think I’m you.

Because, Marvin, that’s part of step three. I become you and you become me. We might not look exactly the same, but the world will change to suit us. Why don’t you look at your license.

I could barely reach my wallet. I pulled out my driver’s license. It still said Carter Austin, and then it changed. Marvin Jarvis. 81 years old. 375 pounds. I looked at the photo and then at my reflection in the mirror. There was the same old man. Me!

You’ll never get away with this.

I already have. Your old memories will continue to slip away until you become Marvin Jarvis. Meanwhile, I’ll get your memories and live out my life again. A world-famous model. Carter Austin. My life is set.

Suddenly my mom entered the house.

Hello Marvin. I just came to get Carter. Dinner is ready.

I wanted to scream out. To tell my mom what happened. All that came out was “Of course Karen. It was lovely seeing Carter again. What a fine man he has become.”

Mom, I am just going to hug Mr. Jarvis goodbye and then I’ll be home.

Okay. See you soon honey. Goodbye Marvin.

The new Carter came and hugged me. Good luck Mr. Jarvis. You’ll need it. Don’t forget to take your heart pills, and back pills, and all the other pills. Don’t drive at night. Also, your social security check barely covers basic living expenses. Haha. Better get one last look at me. This is the last time you’ll see me. I’m never coming back to this hodunk town.

I started crying as the new Carter Austin left. He may not have looked exactly like me, but what does it matter. The world believes he is Carter and I am Marvin.

I sat down because my knees were giving out. I tried to remember everything about my old life, but I could feel it slipping away. I’m trapped. There is nothing I can do. You know what sounds good right now. A good pipe. I wonder if NCIS is on. 6:30pm. Almost time for bed. Well, maybe being an old man isn’t going to be so bad after all.

#male body swap #age regression #age progression #old to young #male body theft #identity theft #young to old #weight gain #body switch

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trblsvt · 1 year

Text

★ my favorite lyrics + seventeen

pairing | ot13 x fem!reader genre | angst, hurt comfort (?), fluff (if you squint?) warnings | references to sex/suggestive, swearing, situationships! ALSDKJ, toxic relationships, actual breakups, heartbreak, and relationship angst, cheating/infidelity (?) in one section (it’s a first date, but someone gets distracted), alcohol consumption min | lowercase intended. and honestly i say fem!reader but i don’t think i used any pronouns that indicate gender identity. (keeping the tag to stay safe). some (most if not all) of these songs came from my top 100 songs of last year. and most of these are kind of sad... sorry

choi seungcheol “you're scared to be lonely, 'specially in the night. i'm scared that i'll miss you, happens every time” - die for you by the weeknd

you just didn’t get it, he thought to himself. you were looking for something that he couldn’t give you, or something he didn’t know how to give you. he couldn’t stop thinking about the way your eyes were welling up after he told you that he wasn’t trying to gain anything else from the relationship.

“so this is all i mean to you? just a thing to use when you’re bored?” you asked, quietly. it appeared that had taken every ounce of fire out of you.

of course not, he thought. i’d do anything for you.

“yes,” he confirmed. why did i say that? he thought again.

“get out of my house, choi seungcheol.”

ouch. you knew he hated being called his full name, especially by you. he remembered when you did it jokingly and he held that stupid pout on his lips for almost two hours. (that is until you went over to him and planted kisses all over his face).

he didn’t understand what was so wrong with what the two of you had going on. he thought you were happy. it worked out great. together, but not actually together. after the first time he spent the night, he realized how strong his feelings for you were. they were so far beyond anything he had ever felt before. now how was he supposed to explain that to you.

“no,” he said simply.

“i don’t want to see you anymore, seungcheol, so leave!” you yelled at him. “i’ve wanted more from you ever since i met you, but now i can see that’s something you’ve never wanted.”

“that’s not true.”

“then tell me, seungcheol! what am i missing? because you just told me i’ve been nothing but your plaything while i was putting my heart in your hands.”

“i’m scared that i’ll miss you too much.”

you froze.

“i’m so scared that if i give myself to you, the way you deserve, it’ll just hurt more when you realize that i’m not the one for you. i can barely think when i’m away from you. i don’t think i’ll be able to breathe if i’m actually with you. i miss you so much just when i leave after every night. i don’t know how to give you what you want. i don’t even know where to start. i’m sorry.” he didn’t know when he started crying, but he was. he diverted his gaze to the floor. his heart wouldn’t only hurt more if he looked at you. his heart would hurt and he’d only miss you more when you told him to leave again. so he was surprised when he felt your hands come up and wipe his tears away. “then try,” you mumbled softly. “try.”

yoon jeonghan “and the funny thing is i would've married you if you'd have stuck around” - doomsday by lizzy mcalpine

there you were. as beautiful as the day when he last saw you. you were just sitting there reading at a table in the local cafe the two of you frequented when you were together. “jeonghan?” you asked, standing up from your place.

shit. was he staring?

“hi, ___,” he finally responded.

“i knew you looked familiar,” you laughed, and he wished he could keep it forever. “i see that you’re growing your hair out again, it looks nice.”

“thanks.” he would never change his hairstyle ever again.

“come sit, it’s been a while.”

so he sat.

he sat and he listened as you talked. how you finished your degree. how you finally bought an apartment that you actually liked. how you got that dog you always wanted. how you got promoted at work. and how you had a great new boyfriend, and that said boyfriend was meeting you in the next fifteen to twenty minutes. “so what about you, jeonghan? how’s work? how’s joshua? i bet you have all the ladies after you,” you joked.

he could say it. he could say that he was still so deeply in love with you. he could say “i love you” over and over again to make up for the times when he didn’t. he could say that he wanted you to break up with your boyfriend. he could say that he hasn’t been able to find someone else without comparing them to you in every way possible. he could even say that he wished every night that he was the one in your dreams in the same way you were in his.

yet, he didn’t, not after what he did. it would be wildly inappropriate to tell you that, especially when you seemed so happy without him. so all he said was, “oh you know me, pretty average. it was really nice to catch up with you.”

you gave him a look, and he somehow knew he was busted. “i don’t hate you for what you did, jeonghan. know that, alright? we were both a bit too immature for one another. i would’ve married you in heartbeat though, even if it meant you left me with all your broken pieces,” you sighed. “i loved you, jeonghan.”

loved.

“and i’m certain you will find someone who loves you as much as i did you.”

but i love you.

“thank you, ___. truly,” was all he said, but wasn’t what he wanted to say.

hong joshua “and i'd leave you, but the roller coaster is all i've ever had. yeah, it's one step forward and three steps back. do you love me, want me, hate me?” - 1 step forward, 3 steps back by olivia rodrigo

“clearly i’ve wasted my time my time on you,” you finally said. that shut him up. “you can’t possibly mean that,” he stammered, but the blank look on your face told him otherwise.

“i can’t be the only person invested in this relationship, joshua!” you sighed.

“who said you were?” you scoffed at that. joshua had been wildly absent from your relationship, opting to hang out with friends playing basketball, eating out, watching movies. really doing anything except be with you. “well it sure fucking feels like, joshua,” you grumbled.

“what did you say?” he sounded angry, but the look on his face looked more confused than anything. damn his face. damn that perfect smile. damn those kind eyes that kept you crawling back to him even if he stood you up for the third time that week. “i said it feels like i’m the only person putting anything into this relationship. when you told me that you wanted to go beyond just fucking i really believed you, and i was actually excited about getting to put an actual label on whatever we had. but now, i don’t fucking know how to act around you. you stood me up at least three times last week, and i-”

“what do you want from me, ___? i showed up tuesday night and we watched all the movies you wanted, didn’t we?” he interrupted.

unbelievable.

“yeah, and then when you said we could hang out on friday night you suddenly ditched me. not only that, seungcheol told me you guys went to play basketball on friday and proceeded to go out to dinner afterwards,” you huffed. “it’s like we make some sort of progress in this - this - whatever this is - and then you do something that sets us back!”

“god, do you need to be with me all the fucking time. you’re so clingy,” he grumbled under his breath, but you heard him.

“clingy? i’m only upset because you said you were going to be there. you said you were free and that you wanted to hang out. i’m upset because you don’t even give me the simple courtesy of saying ‘oh hey i’m sorry something came up’ or ‘i actually can’t, i had plans with the guys.’ but no, i don’t hear anything from you. to think i actually love you. fuck you, hong,” you spat, grabbing your things and heading out his door before he could stop you.

“wait! love? you love me? ___!” he called after you, but you were over it. despite how much it hurt your heart to leave behind his stupid laugh, his stupid music taste, and his stupid eyes that you’re quite sure you probably won’t get over.

ironically enough, that was the first time you said “i love you,” and probably the last.

wen junhui 请快回来想听你说说你还在 “please come back quickly, i want to hear from you that you are still there” - unbreakable love by eric chou

he knew you were sick of waiting around for him. work was hard and so was maintaining a relationship. a lot harder than he thought it was going to be. when he began going away for extended periods of time you always called or texted when you were about to go to sleep or when you woke up in the morning.

then he started going away more.

he was around less.

couldn’t call you back as often as he once did.

then you started contacting him less.

the messages that held the run-downs about your days became infrequent and then rare. he reached out too, but calls and messages were brief. he began wondering what he was even trying for anymore. his friend, minghao, began to notice this. he noticed jun frowning at his phone more, or he looked more anxious by the end of the day like he was running late to something.

he knew you were probably busy. he couldn’t expect you to wait around for his calls, but his brain told him otherwise. it told him that maybe you were tired of waiting around for him.

he was sitting in minghao’s hotel room eating some lame takeout for the nth time this week. minghao could tell that jun was not focused on his meal or in the conversation they were having. “you should probably just call ___,” minghao suggested.

“what if, what if it’s a bad time?” jun countered, a weak defense.

“just call, wimp. worst case scenario: leave a voicemail,” minghao shrugged.

“fine. see you tomorrow.”

“you owe me for the food.”

“yeah, yeah.”

jun made his way back to his own hotel room and pulled up your contact. “just do it,” he grumbled and pressed call. he sat down on his bed as he listened to the ringing. on the fifth ring you picked up. there was loud music in the back with muffled voices. “jun? hey, babe,” you yelled.

“hi, ___. i was just checking in to see how you’re doing. i’m coming back home next week,” he sighed, feeling a bit more at ease.

“that’s great, junnie! i’m looking forward to it.” you sounded absentminded. “am i interrupting something?” he asked.

“oh, well, it’s my friend’s birthday party and she’s going a bit off the rails. can i call you back later?” you explained as lightly as possible. you knew how he got about this kind of stuff. “oh yeah, totally. you should’ve told me earlier, i don’t want to interrupt your fun. have fun,” he said pulling the phone down from his ear, not hearing how you paused and tried to call out to him.

so you do have better things to be doing. he understood. you were your own person, but it had been so long since he had even spoken to you. maybe you didn’t want to wait around anymore. then he saw all the posts that you shared of you out having fun, without him. you looked happier. he dwelled on it for longer than he should’ve.

he dwelled on it for another three hours and then his phone rang. he picked it up without looking at the caller id. “hello?” he answered.

“jun, are you okay? you hung up so abruptly back there. i just got back home,” you asked, you sounded concerned.

“do you still want to be with me?”

“what - yes. why would you ask?” you sputtered. never once did you have a doubt in your relationship with jun. you understood that it was hard, with him being away and all, but you would always be around to wait for him. “i don’t want to make you feel like you’re waiting for nothing. i leave for weeks, come back for one, and leave for three more,” he sighed. “i don’t want to weigh you down.”

“do you think a little distance is going to break us, jun?” you chuckled.

“i don’t know! just either be there when i get home or tell me you can’t wait around any longer,” he cried. it was disheartening to hear him like this. you never wanted anything more than him. the type of love you had with jun was beautiful and it would cross seas if necessary.

“i’ll be here for as long as you want me, jun. now, come home quickly. i miss you.”

kwon soonyoung “you only call me on the weekend. you only love me when we freakin'” - the weekend by bibi

you were trying to slip out unnoticed. soonyoung had passed out essentially right after the two of you cleaned up. he had insisted that you should stay the night. you tried to refuse, but the way he looked so tired and sweet when he basically begged you to lie down in his arms.

and you were weak, so you did.

except, when he fell asleep in the crook of your neck you were still wide awake. you heard his phone going off and being nosy you looked to see notification after notification from his other hookups, and you were suddenly reminded why you were in the first place. you needed to leave.

you tried your best to maneuver your way out of his grasp. you were slipping on your socks when he stirred. “where are you going?” his voice worn.

“i have an early day tomorrow, i need to get back to my place,” you lied.

“liar.”

“excuse me?” how in the world could he possibly call you on something when he was half asleep?

“you’re running. just stay the night. it can’t hurt.” oh, but it could. the question was: would it hurt more to tell him or to just keep the arrangement as is? before you could weigh your options, your mouth had already taken over. “it would hurt,” you said. “it already hurts.”

“what hurts? did i- did i do something wrong?” he asked, sitting up suddenly interested. you knew what he was thinking. “not in the way you’re thinking, soonyoung,” you smiled. “it hurts because throughout this whole agreement i accidentally caught feelings for you and it fucking sucks. because while you’re out hooking up with other people, i can’t even bring myself to hookup with another person because i think you’ve ruined me.”

“___-” he began, he looked apprehensive.

“i know. i know this wasn’t what we agreed on, and i know you’re not looking for anything right now. i just like you so much, and every time i look at you, i just wonder why you can’t just like me back. i’ll just go. i can’t do this anymore, soonyoung. i’m sorry.” you sighed.

“i am too,” he replied quietly, and he genuinely was.

jeon wonwoo “one day i will stop falling in love with you. some day someone will like me like i like you” - let you break my heart again by laufey

you often borrowed wonwoo’s things. from hats to jackets to random necklaces you found around his apartment, everything was fair game. sometimes you would forget to return them and wear them out. wonwoo never complained or tried to steal the clothes back from you. he liked them better on you anyway.

one day his friends noticed. it was just a house party where you had been teasing wonwoo all night about his less than average kart rider skills. you had taken his glasses off and placed them on your nose. “look at me i’m wonwoo and i suck at kart rider,” you imitated his voice puffing out your chest and bumping into his shoulder.

“hey, i need those,” he chuckled, squinting at the tv in front of him.

“yeah, yeah, i know. they look better on you anyway,” you grumbled, delicately placing the glasses back on his nose. “i’m going to get a drink, you want anything?” he shook his head, and you got up.

“wonwoo, isn’t that your coat?” mingyu casually asked as he sat down next to wonwoo on the couch. wonwoo didn’t even really process what mingyu was asking, but answered, “oh, the one ___’s wearing? yeah.”

“so, does this mean you two are finally together?” mingyu pressed.

“uh, no. it just means i like sharing.”

“just like how you like sharing your glasses,” mingyu scoffed. “bullshit.”

mingyu got up and walked over to where you were chatting with some of your friends. wonwoo wanted to act like he was paying attention to seungcheol absolutely demolishing him and chan at kart rider, but he was only focused on you.

he knew he didn’t stand a chance against the other guys you had been going out with for the past few months. he knew that you were probably better off with a guy like mingyu or something, and when he saw you chatting with mingyu he knew he couldn’t even begin to compete. in your eyes, he was just your cute best friend that did you favors all the time.

“you know, i think you should really un-friendzone wonwoo,” your friend giggled.

“i agree,” mingyu piped in.

“please, wonwoo’s just my friend,” you chuckled, glancing over at the dark haired man sitting on the couch. “plus, i already have a date this weekend.”

it was true. you did have a date lined up. it was about the fourth new guy this month. none of the people you’ve been meeting had actually clicked after the first date. which was a bit disheartening since you’ve been trying to date for a while.

the only constant in your life was wonwoo. he’s been with you since high school, and the two of you quickly rented an apartment together when you two decided to attend the same college. it was a nice set up, and you appreciated his companionship. he was there for every high and low of life, and didn’t complain if you were a mess most of the time. he was just there. a great friend.

as wonwoo and you walked home, he admired the way you looked at everything around you. the stars in the sky or the flowers that lined the windows of some apartments. it was comfortable with you. “you have a date later this weekend?” he asked quietly. you hummed in response.

you were a little too busy watching your surroundings to see wonwoo’s face fall a bit. he would watch you go off on these dates every so often, and nothing came to fruition for most of them. if they did, they were quite short lived. although it broke his heart every time you overlooked his hinting gestures, he would always be there to help you get ready and pick up any broken pieces. he’d be there at your door with a cup of coffee for you in the morning or he’d give you the space you needed if you asked. whatever you asked of him, he would do because he’d let you break his heart as many times as you wanted and he’d still come back. after all, he was your best friend.

he just wished that someday he would finally leave the feelings he harbored for you behind, and he could find someone who loved him the same way that he loved you. even if it wasn’t you.

lee jihoon “feels like we had matching wounds, but mine's still black and bruised and yours is perfectly fine now” - the exit by conan gray

jihoon was jihoon. you were you. there wasn’t any way around it. you had met him at a bad time, that’s all you could say about it. it probably wasn’t the best idea to start hanging out as much as you did. you knew that, and so did he. yet, you two did, and it was nice while it lasted.

“i just thought- i just thought we could continue seeing each other,” you grumbled. you weren’t sure what you were expecting out of jihoon. he was always a bit, emotionally reserved.

“i mean, why would we?” he asked, blinking slowly at you. of course he would ask that. “you didn’t think we were actually like dating, right?” he asked.

well no.

you and jihoon had established a mutual distaste towards labels, but now you regretted not putting one on what you had with jihoon. “i mean, i didn’t. i just thought-” you trailed off. what did you think? that maybe by the time he figured out his shit, you would have figured yours out too. or maybe that he would’ve noticed your growing feelings towards him.

“look, ___. you have been a greater help than i could’ve ever asked for. i was, well you know, just out of a long term relationship that ended well, badly. you were with me through every step of the healing process, and i will forever be grateful for you,” he said, taking a step closer to you.

“yeah, you- you really helped me too,” you mumbled, you couldn’t help the tears that were forming in your eyes.

“___? why are you crying?” he asked.

“no reason, jihoon,” you sniffed. there was a perfectly good reason why you crying, it was just a bit too embarrassing to tell him when he obviously didn’t reciprocate your feelings. maybe you got attached to jihoon to easily, someone who was obviously emotionally unavailable. maybe you had a type.

things had ended badly with your ex, and you feared that things would end horribly with jihoon before they could even begin.

maybe he would say you were too clingy, too needy, too this that and the other thing. was wanting to be loved such a bad thing?

all you really wanted was for him to notice you, but it appeared as though he was too focused on healing himself that he had left you behind without as much as a band-aid.

lee seokmin “and though it's fading with time, i remember the warm nights with love in your eyes. passing the days, watching rains as it dries, staring at your eyes i know it's the time” - less and less by matt maltese

a ball of sunshine. that’s how you described lee seokmin. you always grabbed his face in your hands and just looked at him, and he’d let you. then he’d giggle or something and you’d smile while you memorized every aspect of his face.

but now, but now, he couldn’t even look you in the eye, not after he heard that you didn’t really care to see him anymore. it was weird to overhear from one of his friends who still kept in touch with you. apparently he would be too much of a distraction or something to that effect. he knew the chances of reconciliation were already slim, but just knowing you didn’t really want to see him at all hurt. it wasn’t necessarily a bad or messy break up either.

a mutual friend of the two of you had just gotten engaged, and they were having a celebratory dinner. seokmin had the feeling that you were going to be there, but he couldn’t skip out on this just because his ex would be there. that would be - sad.

you were chatting casually with one of the other dinner guests, and you looked as beautiful as ever. “seokmin? are you even listening to me?” soonyoung whined next to him.

“you’re drunk, soonyoung. i probably shouldn’t listen to anything you say,” seokmin chuckled, pushing on his obviously drunk friend. soonyoung whined and threw his head back against the wall that was behind his chair. “___ looks nice tonight,” he commented. seokmin nodded in agreement.

he stole another glance at you, and that was when he met your eyes. god, those eyes. the same kind ones that he looked into every night before you said your goodnights and i love yous. you offered him a small smile and he reciprocated it as best as he could without it hurting his chest too much.

he found himself stealing glances at you when you didn’t even bother to look over. he wished he could sit next to you and hold your hand. kiss your cheek like he used to. should he profess his undying love for you even though you had broken his heart over six months ago? would that be appropriate?

by the end of the dinner, seokmin had slung soonyoung over his shoulder and was bringing him out to his car parked nearby the restaurant. “seokmin, why don’t you ask ___ out again?” he grumbled as seokmin dragged him into the passenger seat. the smell of alcohol reeked on his breath as seokmin buckled his pouting friend in. soonyoung continued, “you two were so good together. so cute. you were so down bad for ___.” seokmin sighed. he knew that already.

he looked at you like you hung the moon, and he genuinely believed that you did. your soft kisses on his cheeks and warm hands around his were nice, but they weren’t enough. as much as he wanted them to be, they just couldn’t be enough.

“seokmin?” he heard your familiar voice float into his ears and shot up instantly, hitting his head on his car as he tried to escape the clutches of soonyoung. “oh, are you okay?” you giggled.

“yeah,” he said, standing upright and rubbing the back of his head. and there the two of you stood in silence. oddly enough, it wasn’t as awkward as he thought it was going to be. there was a dull pain in his chest when he looked at you. “look, i just wanted to say it was nice seeing you tonight,” you said. his heart soared, but the pain hurt. “it was nice seeing you too,” was all he seemed to muster before he turned around to check on soonyoung.

you must’ve thought he was trying to get out of the conversation because the next words you said sounded rushed. “i want you to know that i don’t hate you,” you said.

he froze.

“i mean, i know you heard about what i said about not wanting to see you. that’s not what i meant,” you sighed.

he nodded dumbly.

“i just- i know we didn’t end things badly at all. it was actually quite nice. i said that after we broke up and i was still a bit upset, i guess. i thought that if i saw you, i would just hurt all over again. i just wanted to stop hurting. i should’ve considered that you might hear about it and misunderstand, and i��m sorry about that.”

silence.

“i’ll always want you in my life, seokmin.”

“i’ll always want you in mine too,” he finally said, and he felt like he truly meant it. he knew that he wouldn’t be in your life like the two of you had planned, but just hearing that you wanted him - needed him - to just be there was enough.

he had all those times that you looked at him with such love and affection that he didn’t care how he was in your life. he just needed to be in it. he had the memories how you kissed him. how you hummed songs while lounging around the house. how you would wrap your arms around him while he was cooking. how you held his hand when your car broke down in the rain.

you would remember the way he just admired you at a distance. how he cried when he forgot to water your plant when you left town for a trip. how he brought you flowers when he knew the ones you had were dying. how he sang in the shower. how he laughed at all of your jokes. how he grabbed your hand and kissed it just because.

now you stood so close to him, but so far. he wanted to hold you close to him, feel your hands on his face, hear your laugh, kiss your lips, anything and everything. all it would take would be a couple of strides and he would be close enough to smell the perfume you put on for the evening.

but something in him kept him from doing that. he looked at you. the look in your eyes wasn’t the same as when the two of you were together. something else was there. admiration, respect, unconditional love. something in your eyes told him it was time to let you go. he would always remember you and all the moments you shared, but he needed to let go of what he had. let it fade until all that remained was the dull ache in his heart.

“i’ve missed you, ___,” he said meeting your gaze.

you smiled, “i’ve missed you too. please don’t be a stranger.”

“i won’t.”

the pain in his chest was still there as he watched you leave, but he supposed that it would always be there.

kim mingyu so i can't love you even though i do 밀어내 봐도 난 너를 못이겨 “so i can't love you, even though i do. i try to push you away but i can't beat you” - invu by taeyeon

this was wrong. he knew it. you knew it. he was on a first date with mutual of one of his friends, and he only agreed because he needed to get his mind off of everything, off of you. it should be easy, nice laid back dinner date. it had been a while since he had been on first date, but he couldn’t be that bad at this whole first date thing.

apparently he was pretty bad at it.

“mingyu,” you gasped, as he grabbed onto your waist. “where are you taking me?” he didn’t say a word. something in his blood boiled when he saw you sitting with your friends at the same restaurant he was at. he quickly excused himself from the table and made his way to your table. your table was conveniently located on the way to the bathroom. he turned his head to make sure his date wasn’t looking, luckily his date’s chair was facing the other way, so he could get away with snatching you away from your friends.

you barely had time to process what had happened. you sensed someone rushing toward you, but you figured it was just a waiter. suddenly you were pulled out of your seat and there was a familiar arm wrapped around your waist. “mingyu, what are you doing?” you demanded as he pulled you into the single-bathroom and locked the door. “i was having dinner with my friends.”

“and i was having dinner with a date, but here we are,” he scoffed.

“you’re on a date, and you dragged me in here!” you yelled. “mingyu, you’re unbelievable. you should be on your date. this is incredibly rude of-”

“do you miss me?”

“what?”

“do you miss me?”

“not in the way you want me to.”

that seemed to do it for him. he pressed you against the bathroom wall and kissed you in the way that took your breath away. “mingyu,” you gasped in between his kisses. you felt the way he was holding onto you, it was pure need. “mingyu, we- we can’t. your date,” you breathed as your hands found purchase on his shoulders.

“fuck my date. i’m only on that date to stop thinking about you,” he admitted.

“mingyu-” you began to pull away from him.

“stop calling me that,” he pulled away and looked you dead in the eye.

“what? your name? it’s your name, mingyu. what else am i supposed to call you?”

“please, ___. you know.” it sounded pathetic and you practically melted. “gyu,” you caved. he didn’t realize how much he missed you until this moment. well, he had been missing you since the two of you parted ways several months ago, but now that he had you so close to him, that he had just kissed you, he missed you more than ever. you were so close. he could just go back to kissing you. he really wanted to go back to kissing you.

you don’t know how you could let this happen. mingyu was always very nice to you. he was sweet, caring, attentive, all the things you could want in a boyfriend, but you just weren’t ready for the type of commitment you knew he craved.

he wanted to move in, settle down, get married, live life. it was all too real to you, so you ran.

sure it hurt to break up with him. to tell him that you didn’t want to move that fast, and you weren’t sure if you’d ever marry at all. it was all just too confusing. but now, that you were here with him, you knew that you had made a mistake.

but you had missed your chance.

he tried to move back in to kiss you again.

“gyu, stop,” you whispered. he did, but he didn’t back away. “go back to your date, gyu,” you sighed. “it isn’t fair to your date. it isn’t fair to you.”

“what do you mean, ___? i want you. i’ve only ever wanted you,” he complained, he couldn’t let you leave again. “i’ll wait for you, for as long as it takes for you to realize that it’ll always be you. that you’re the only one for me,” he rushed.

“don’t say that stuff, gyu,” you smiled at him resting your palm on his cheek. “i missed my chance with you. you deserve someone who will appreciate you from the start. you don’t deserve someone who makes you wait around.”

and with that, you pulled away from him, took a quick glance in the mirror and fixed your hair, and left.

and he had no choice but to let you.

xu minghao “oh, simple thing, where have you gone? i'm getting old, and i need something to rely on. so, tell me when you're gonna let me in. i'm getting tired, and i need somewhere to begin” - somewhere only we know by keane

“what do you want?” you asked, leaning against your door.

“can i, uh, get some books that i left here?” minghao asked not meeting your gaze. you squinted your eyes at him. this was so not minghao behavior. even though the two of you stopped hooking up a couple months ago there was still some sort of tension that made you want to claw your hair out. “yeah, i have work soon, so, uh, make it quick,” you mumbled, moving out of the way of the door. he nodded and quickly brushed past you.

your apartment was small and you knew what books he was looking for. they had been sitting on your coffee table for the past months. it wasn’t like you took time to read all five of them in his absence. it wasn’t like you ranked them by how much you thought he would like them. it wasn’t like you knew the book with the green cover would be his least favorite. but you knew you were never going to tell him that.

you picked up the stack of books and handed them to him. he took them and glanced around your apartment. he noticed that the painting the two of you made together as a joke was still hanging out by the window, and he couldn’t help be smile at that.

now there the two of you stood. saying nothing. being with minhao was always quiet, but never this type of quiet. this was stale and somewhat raw, you missed the times of soft comfortable silence.

“well, thank you for holding on to these,” he finally said.

“of course, i mean i’m not a monster who throws away books,” you chuckled. he laughed. you loved it when he laughed, especially since it took you ages to get him to stop stifling it around you.

“before i go, ___, i just need you to know that i don’t regret the things we had, and i don’t regret how things ended. i just need to know why.”

if you thought the air was stale before, you were not prepared for that. “i- i swear it has nothing to do with you,” you said. all he did was nod. “i don’t know,” you resigned yourself.

“yes, you do,” he shrugged. you stared at him, dumbfounded. yes you knew, but you were barely ready to admit it to yourself, how were you supposed to admit it to him?

“i understand that you’re lost, i am too. maybe you can’t tell me right now for whatever reason, maybe you don’t even know yourself, but i can’t stand not being around you,” he said finally.

you just looked at him. he wanted to be around you? after you broke up with him? he still wanted to be around you.

“look, i know it’s weird, but i’ve spent a lot of my time with you. i’ve genuinely enjoyed all the things we’ve done together, and i’m just at a loss for what to do. you were a huge part of my life and now that we’re not together i-” he rambled

“don’t know where to start again,” you finished for him. his eyes flickered between you and the ground.

you would be lying if you said you didn’t feel the same. leaving minghao had left some sort of void in your life that you weren’t prepared for. he had been a huge part of your life and then he was just gone. “i guess we could try to be friends again,” you suggested. “just to start again.”

he nodded.

deep down you knew you couldn’t just be friends with him, and he knew that too. yet, he agreed. he needed somewhere to begin again, and you did too. so like you always did, you would always come running back to each other even if it meant leaving each other for good in the future.

“hey, hao,” you called after him. he turned on his heel and looked at you expectantly. “don’t read the book with the green cover. you won’t like it,” you warned. he glanced down at the books he was carrying and back up at you. “noted,” he smiled. “i guess you’ll have to recommend me a different one next time.”

boo seungkwan “if i were a mountain, i'd stand my ground, and maybe i'd never listen. but if i were a mountain, i'd close my mouth and maybe i'd be forgiving” - i’m not a mountain by sarah kinsley

seungkwan tried. he tried his hardest. he gave his everything in every aspect of his life. he gave his all to you, yet for some reason it wasn’t enough. sure, he knew this wasn’t an official thing, but he still treated it as though it was.

“i just- i don’t understand,” he stammered. the look in your eyes was not one of malice or hatred, just sorrow. “i’m moving, kwan,” you sighed. “i can’t- i can’t make you wait for me. we can hardly make it when you make your trips.”

that was true. he needed you like oxygen and his job wasn’t necessarily very forgiving towards the health of his... friendships. “don’t you think we can work it out?” he questioned. “is everything we’ve done together mean nothing?”

“that’s the thing! everything we’ve done means everything to me,” you cried. “please just let me go. maybe if we meet again, it’ll be meant to be.”

he paused.

it meant everything? did that mean...

“i can’t just let you go. we are meant to be. us, here. right now. this is right. why can’t you see that?”

from his perspective, it was his fault.

did he not show you enough love? did he not text or call enough when he was away? was he not a nice enough friend for you to stay?

if he was stronger he would’ve stopped you, even though he knew you were right. some people say that couples who are meant to be together can last the test of time and distance, but that was the issue. you and seungkwan were meant to be together, physically, mentally, emotionally.

“seungkwan, please just - i’m sorry. i can’t play this game anymore.”

“then let’s stop playing, i’ll give you everything!”

“but i can’t give you everything.”

that would be fine, as long as you’re with me, he thought.

“i’m sorry, seungkwan. i- do like you, a lot. more than i should. and it isn’t fair to you to wait for someone like me who can’t love you in the way you deserve,” you sighed, making your way to the door.

if seungkwan was stronger, he would kiss you. he would hold you in his arms and tell you that you are the only person he’ll ever need or want. he would tell you that he loves you. he would ignore the things you said about leaving and make you stay. make you see that you were his world.

if seungkwan was stronger, he would stand there and forgive you for all the times you couldn’t give him your all. he would forgive you for ghosting him occasionally. he would forgive you for breaking his heart.

but seungkwan, wasn’t strong enough to do that. he was upset that you could walk away. he was upset that you were crying about this. he was upset that he couldn’t do anything about it. his facade was in shambles, and his world was crumbling around him.

instead of standing up and protesting anymore, he shut his mouth and bowed his head. tears were dotting the floor as he heard you make your way to the door. “i’m sorry, seungkwan. i love you,” you whispered.

he heard.

“i love you too,” he said as the door clicked shut.

choi vernon 어느 날 우연히 마주치면그건 우연이 아닐지 몰라 “if we meet by chance one day, maybe it’s not a coincidence” - one day by chance by ailee

“you have to meet him!” your friend giggled. “he’s so your type!”

“type? and what would that be exactly?” you entertained the notion.

“im not sure, but he’s for sure your type!” you rolled your eyes. you hadn’t dated anyone since high school, and even then it wasn’t that serious. “and what if he isn’t my so-called type?” you questioned.

“then you get to hang out with me at an awesome party,” she stated.

you didn’t even like going to parties, but you only went to entertain her (and to be her ride home). when you finally arrived at the party she slipped way saying that she was off to find the guy. you sighed and made your way the kitchen to find the bottled water. it was most likely going to be a long night and you were-

“oh hey, sorry,” the guy you just bumped shoulders with apologized instantly.

“no worries, i wasn’t watching-” you paused. “- where i was going.”

“___.”

“vernon.”

“there you are! oh! look you found him before i did!” your friend exclaimed a cup already in her hand.

right. this was the only person in high school that you had a relationship with and thought it was mildly serious. “you were looking for me?” he cocked an eyebrow at you.

“no.”

“yes! i think ___ is just your type!” you friend practically screeched.

“is that so?”

“i’m afraid not. i’ll be outside,” you grumbled to your now confused friend as you walked out the back door. you heard your friend calling after you, but you couldn’t be bothered. it wasn’t like you held a grudge towards vernon, but he was the first guy to break your heart. you knew it was just a stupid high school relationship, but there was something about him. something that was so charmingly awkward that you couldn’t help but enjoy his lame jokes and not as lame music tastes. you didn’t even announce to your friends that you were dating, you didn’t really announce it to yourselves either. it just started. and it just sort of ended. maybe the reason it hurt so much to see him here was simply because there wasn’t any screaming or crying or fighting when it all ended. just zero effort or care was behind the ending.

then something just happened and the two of you just stopped hanging out as much. you knew you couldn’t completely blame it on him. he started hanging out with a different crowd, as did you. and suddenly, it wasn’t. the breakup was as quiet as the get together. but it didn’t hurt any less to see him with his arm around someone else at lunch.

after high school you tried your best to move as far away from your hometown. you largely succeeded. new friends, new places, new experiences. you had it all while avoiding any contact from your previous life. but there was always that thought lurking in the back of your mind about what could’ve been.

it was just a stupid high school thing. then why was your heart beating so much?

you were too lost in thought to notice that vernon had joined you on the porch. “long time no see,” he said, taking a drink from his cup. you scoffed, but not so much in an unfriendly way. just a “that was such a you thing to say” scoff. he laughed taking a sip of his drink. and there you sat in silence. it was comfortable until it wasn’t.

“why’d we stop talking,” you asked suddenly. he shrugged. “not an answer, vernon,” you groaned.

“we grew a part, i guess.” the conversation topic obviously irked him. it was weird, because you had dreamt of this moment for as long as you could remember. reuniting with your high school boyfriend. it seemed far fetched, yet here you were. you were never one to believe in that metaphysical stuff, but maybe this meant something. maybe this was the universe saying something. no. it couldn’t. it was too good to be true.

“did you feel anything for me? i mean, back then at least,” you asked finally.

“yes,” he said, with a sort of certainty that scared you.

“okay, good.” you turned and you were about to go back inside as you muttered to yourself, “at least now i can move on.”

“what if i don’t want you to?” he called.

“excuse me?” you turned on your heel to stare at him.

“what if i don’t want you to move on?” he repeated.

“then you should’ve tried.”

lee chan “got to get it in my head, i'll never be 16 again. i'm waiting to live, and waiting to love” - when by dodie

some things never lasted, and that was a tough pill to swallow. an especially tough one for chan. he moved away, but he had his phone and your number (and address if he needed to resort to letters). there shouldn’t have been a problem. he promised he’d call or text at least once a day, as did you.

and for a while. it worked. things were just the same as they were. almost as if he had never even left.

yet as time passed, he wasn’t expecting to be so busy with his new neighborhood, school, and friends. so, he forgot to text and call quite often actually. just sporadic texts for holidays, funny things, “hellos” and “goodnights.” nothing like what you two were like before. and soon, that became the new normal - for the next four years.

that is until one day when he suddenly remembered the deal the two of you had. he felt guilty. every day turned into every two weeks to once every month, and even less frequent than that. he had promised you the bare minimum, after all, you two were best friends.

however, when he looked at your contact and messages, he realized that you never reached out that much either. just the same “happy winter break!” or “aren’t you so glad summer break is here?” or “we should visit each other soon.” those plans never came to be.

maybe if he had just told you how he felt before he left, the remnants of your relationship wouldn’t be in such shambles. you would have a reason to text and call him. you would have a reason to come and see him and vice versa. except, he didn’t. you two were better off as friends anyway.

and he thoroughly believed that himself. he really believed it when it was the summer and he wanted to visit his grandparents who happened to live a little outside your childhood town. he still loved you even if he couldn’t call you every day to show it. who knows, maybe he could pass through, see you, and finally get to tell you how he felt after all these years. just because you guys didn’t talk as much didn’t mean things would be awkward or weird, right? and it definitely wouldn’t be weird if he just confessed his feelings he had been harboring for you since the seventh grade, right? the feelings he concealed and tucked away just in case you didn’t feel the same. the feelings he didn’t want to risk a friendship over. the feelings that still made him dream of you.

so as he drove through his small hometown he parked along the street where the two of you would walk and window shop. he got out and strolled around greeting some of the older store owners who “oohed” and “ahhed” at him. he was finishing up his conversation with the baker when he heard it.

the undeniable sound of sunshine. the laugh he grew accustomed to throughout your entire elementary and middle school years. he bid farewell, and went searching for it. he walked down the street and looked for it, for you. then he came to the end of the sidewalk and saw you. you were sitting on a bench with some ice cream. you looked beautiful. your eyes bright and smile wide. so bright and wide that he almost missed the guy who was wrapping you up in his arms and kissing your forehead.

oh.

so things did change. chan didn’t recognize the guy, but he knew this guy was more than a friend. his heart was sinking to the bottom of his stomach. and it sunk even further when he realize he needed to walk right by you to get to his car.

shit.

just tear off the band-aid fast. maybe you wouldn’t recognize him. maybe you would be too immersed in the conversation you were having the guy to notice. he didn’t know what he would say to you. confessing wasn’t exactly appropriate now, not that it ever was. would he be awkward? oh please don’t be awkward, he pleaded with himself.

so he just went. he just walked. looked around at his surroundings. acted nonchalant. he was the closest to you he’d been in years, and he couldn’t even bring himself to wave at you, let alone look you in the eye. he ducked his head when he got closer to passing the bench where you sat. he kept his eyes to the ground and successfully made it past your table. there was approximately five beats of his heart when it dropped again. “chan? is that you?” you called after him, he heard you get up from the bench. he looked over his shoulder slightly, but he couldn’t bring himself to fully turn around. you stood in the middle of the sidewalk, ice cream melting down your hand, and your presumed boyfriend staying off to the side. he turned back around to keep walking to his car. “god, chan!” you shouted. “get back here! why didn’t you tell me you were going to be in town?”

“sorry, i- i have to get to my grandparents’ place by dinner. it was nice running into you, ___,” he mumbled, blinking his eyes to stop the tears from falling.

“chan, come on, it’ll be quick.” you were getting closer to him. he couldn’t let that happen.

“no, ___. i can’t. i have to go.” i don’t know what i was thinking. “i’m sorry. just text me or something.”

he really should’ve told you how he felt when he was sixteen.

min | mmmm sad foolish people in love.... i wanted to do one with ceilings but i already did doomsday so i didn’t want to go overboard with lizzy... it’s been a while since i wrote angst ALKDJ leave so feedback in the comments or in the tags (they’re all greatly appreciated) not proofread

#seventeen #seventeen reactions #seventeen headcanons #seventeen x reader #seventeen scenarios #seventeen angst #seventeen imagines #vernon x reader #joshua x reader #jeonghan x reader #minghao x reader #dokyeom x reader #seventeen fluff #mingyu x reader #seventeen smut #wonwoo x reader #wonwoo angst

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goddess-aelin · 4 months

Text

Feels Like Home

For @backtobl4ck for the Rowaelin Yulemas celebration/ Secret Santa. For the second year in a row, I once again had the pleasure to write something for Maria! I was so excited when I found out I had you because we both loveeeee fluff and friends to lovers. So I hope you love this little gift and have a very happy Yulemas :) @rowaelinscourt

Masterlist

Word Count: 4k

Warnings: none!

Her hands were everywhere. Her lips touched his softly as she breathily moaned at his ministrations between her thighs. Silky blonde locks brushed his face as he made his way down the side of her neck. He never tasted anything so sweet, so right. “Rowan. Rowan. Rowan.” Her voice got louder and louder as he laid her back on the cushions of his couch, muscles straining to reign in all the things he wanted to do to her. He had to do this right. Move slowly. This thing between them was as precious as the sun’s warmth. “Rowan. Ro.” Her voice changed cadence, suddenly closer and louder. “Ro!”

A stinging sensation against his cheek woke him. Like lighting, he shot up, catching the arm of the person who slapped him. Once he registered where he was and what was happening, the first thing he noticed were the depthless blue and gold eyes of his best friend. His best friend. Aelin. Who he was in the middle of having a sex dream about.

Rowan could feel his face flush as he became more aware of his surroundings. He silently thanked the Gods that he chose to cover himself with a blanket for this particular nap. Otherwise, it would’ve been painfully obvious just exactly what he had been dreaming about.

“Must’ve been some dream, huh? Since you didn’t wake up the first twenty times I called your name.” Aelin raised an eyebrow. “Sorry for the slap, though. I just didn’t know how else to wake you up.” Aelin gave him a devious smile.

Rowan rubbed at the still stinging area on his left cheek. The good thing was that the slap hid any blush that might’ve remained on his face. “Sure you are, Fireheart.” She pouted slightly, giving him her best “but I’m innocent” look. “Wait, how did you even get in here?”

“You gave me a key, remember?”

“Yeah, for emergencies. Not to barge into my house at…” He checked his phone. “4:35pm on a Thursday afternoon.”

“This is an emergency, Ro.”

He raised an eyebrow and silently commanded, explain.

“Well ok…you see, I have this cousin. His name is Galan. Well he’s sort of my cousin but he’s also not. Not in the sense that Aedion is my cousin. But he’s still sort of close family, ya know? And I got the invite a few weeks back and I hoped that I could find a date but I haven’t yet and I just really think that maybe it would be a fun time and there’s going to be good food-”

“Hold on. What the fuck are you talking about?” Rowan couldn’t keep the humor and huff of laughter out of his voice. Aelin tended to ramble when she was nervous. So obviously this was something she was nervous about. He gently took her hand. “Start again and take a deep breath this time.”

For once, she listened to him. After inhaling and exhaling deeply, she tried again. “My cousin, Galan. He’s getting married and I have a plus one. I can’t go alone because my mother will have a fit and that will make her and my aunts scheme like hell to set me up with one of the groomsmen. But I 100% do not want that. I know Galan’s friends and they’re all dumbasses. I love my cousin, but his groomsmen all make really stupid, idiotic decisions. So no, thank you. So I guess my question is, will you go with me? As my plus one?”

Rowan took a moment to process the information. What are the odds that he would have a sex dream about his best friend right before she asked him to be her plus one to a wedding? He was treading dangerous territory and he wasn’t sure what to make of it.

He must’ve taken too long to answer because Aelin hastily said, “As friends, of course. And you’d get free food, booze, and a night of dancing. You get to dress up, which I know you hate but it’ll be fun! Plus, you’ll get to have the most beautiful, amazing, graceful date on your arm.”

That shocked him out of his stupor. Rowan let out a cackle. “Modest, aren’t you?”

“Modesty is my middle name.”

Rowan hummed in mock agreement. “Yeah, I’ll go with you. It’ll be fun. A night away, drinking, eating great food, and getting to watch the bridal party get increasingly drunk as the night goes on? I’m in.”

Aelin beamed but quickly bit her lip. He knew her too well to know that it wasn’t just a nervous tick. There was something else. Rowan narrowed his eyes.

“It’s also like five hours away in Varese so we need to rent a hotel for the night.” She looked apprehensive, as if this new information was going to make him change his mind and say no.

“O..kay? We’ve been on vacations together before, Fireheart. What’s different this time?”

She blew out a breath. “I don’t know. I just know you don’t like being the center of attention and I know that my mom and my aunts are going to be all over you like vultures. So I just want to make sure you know what you’re getting into before saying yes.”

Rowan shrugged. “How bad can it be?”

- - - - -

Bad. The answer to his question from a few weeks ago was just that: it could be bad. The date of the wedding crept up steadily, he and Aelin hammering out the details of their stay in Varese. Aelin, of course, insisted on coordinating colors for their outfits, which is how he found himself standing at the base of the stairs in the grand ballroom attached to their hotel in a black tux and emerald green bowtie, talking with Aedion while waiting for the two ladies to make their grand entrance. Aelin insisted on the emerald green to match his eyes. He really didn’t care either way, he just hoped he was able to reign in his budding feelings when he saw Aelin in what just so happened to be his favorite color. And that if he somehow did accidentally let some of his feelings show, that it wouldn’t make it awkward for when they got back to their hotel room.

Oh right, that. The other predicament he was in.

Once he and Aelin arrived at the hotel that morning, they were surprised to find that not only did their room only have one bed, it also had one of the most romantic views of Varese, overlooking the river that flowed through the center of the city and its beautiful architecture. Aelin was quick to insist that she had nothing to do with this and that she ordered a double room. At the time, the wedding was only a few hours away and Aelin shoved him out of their room towards Aedion and Lysandra’s across the hall, stating that she needed to get ready and she couldn’t have his broody self in the room while she was doing so. So he and Lysandra had switched places, Aelin assuring him that they’d remedy the bed situation later.

He and Aedion took a whopping total of ten minutes to get ready in comparison to Aelin and Lysandra’s two hours. Rowan’s foot started tapping of its own accord as the time ticked closer to the ceremony. If Aelin didn’t hurry her ass up- albeit her very, very nice ass- they were going to be late.

He was cut off from his thoughts by the two sets of clacking heels on the marbled floor coming from the top of the stairs. It took one look at the thigh slit of Aelin’s dress for his mouth to dry up. Another glance at the way it hugged her hips for his body to go wholly still. And one final glance to her beautiful, glowing face for him to black out completely.

He must’ve actually blacked out since, in what felt like a single moment, Aelin was standing right in front of him. Her emerald green dress matched his bowtie perfectly, of course, the gold accent of her minimal jewelry complimenting her eyes. She didn’t need baubles and gems to make her sparkle. She, just as she was now, was an ethereal being, glowing from an internal, unseen star.

Rowan tried so hard; so, so, incredibly hard to will his mind to say something, anything. And yet, words escaped him. How could he ever put into words how beautiful she was, how much she meant to him? As saliva started making its way into the dry desert that was his mouth, all he could manage was a “Holy shit.”

Aelin’s laugh was like twinkling bells in his ear. “Back at ya, Buzzard. You look…very handsome.”

Was it just his imagination or did she sound…breathless? He couldn’t help but become aware of every place her eyes drifted to, like they were emitting invisible fire and burning him everywhere. His hand subconsciously came up to rub at the back of his hair, trying to smooth out anything that was out of place. “You’re being sarcastic, aren’t you?” He managed a small smirk. Or, he hoped he did.

Aelin’s eyes continued their unhurried perusal, mouth parting slightly and hand coming up to grab his own to stop him from messing up his hair even more. “No,” she breathed, “For once in my life, I’m not. I Promise.” Rowan could see her swallow hard.

Rowan had to take a deep gulp of air, otherwise he was sure he was going to pass out. Somewhere, deep inside of him, some air of confidence kicked in and gracefully allowed him to offer his arm for Aelin to take. Gently, she placed her hand in the crook of his elbow, both of them silently making their way to the doors where the ceremony would be held. As they neared the room, Rowan purposefully slowed them down, falling behind Aedion and Lysandra. “Fireheart,” he whispered. “You look…you look stunning. It’s what I wanted to say earlier but I couldn’t find the words.”

Rowan could have sworn a blush overtook her face. But she beamed up at him, giving him a sweet, shy smile.

“Thank you.” He could feel more than see her sharp intake of breath. A breath to recenter and refocus. “Well, shall we, Buzzard?” Rowan nodded and steered them once again to the doors.

An hour later, the ceremony was over and Rowan’s stomach was rumbling. Loudly. Seated next to Aelin, he knew she could hear it and she continued to sneak glances and little smirks at him. The hunger he could deal with. The sly glances from Aelin? Not so much. She had been driving him insane since she floated down those stairs and it was slowly but surely causing him to lose his cool. That would be if he ever had it in the first place.

And as the night went on, the torture only continued. Throughout dinner, her arm would brush his as she turned to talk to Lysandra next to her, her leg would tap against his own when she told a joke, and she would find any excuse to touch him as often as she could. In normal circumstances, he wouldn’t mind. But they were here as friends. And these touches were making him want much, much more than that.

The only time he felt like he could breathe was when Aelin got up to dance with Lysandra to an upbeat pop song, leaving Rowan and Aedion sitting alone at their table to chat. Rowan had a few drinks already but he was nowhere near drunk. A nice buzz was flowing through him but he was still very much so in control of his actions.

At least, that’s what he thought until Aedion cleared his throat. Rowan broke his stare from Aelin’s sensuous dancing. Did she even know what she looked like to him? How much she was torturing him just by being herself? He wasn’t sure if she was aware. But Aedion sure as hell was.

The blonde man gave him a knowing look and raised an eyebrow. Rowan just rolled his eyes and allowed his gaze to maneuver back to Aelin. He caught the moment when she threw her head back and laughed, the sound making his bones feel like they were both on fire and also a pile of mush. It was a feeling that he was unaccustomed to, having only felt anything of the sort with his high school girlfriend. But if that feeling was a good one, this one made him feel like he was flying. Made him feel a need so deep that he wasn’t sure he would ever recover. He needed every inch of her. Not only her body, but her soul, her smiles, her laughter, her tears. He wanted everything.

“Fuck,” he muttered under his breath.

Beside him, Aedion chuckled. “You’re only now just realizing it?”

Rowan could do nothing but stare at the table, knowing that if he looked at Aedion, his secretly harbored feelings would be completely out in the open for the other man to see. And if he looked up at Aelin, the same outcome. So yeah, he was fucked.

“I know you’re having a complete crisis over being in love with her but I’m glad you finally figured it out. Took you long enough.”

That made Rowan look toward the man sitting next to him, brows furrowed.

“Yeah, we’ve all known this for ages. I feel like it was obvious to anyone with eyes, to be completely honest. Some of us even have a bet on how long it’ll take for you two to finally admit that you’re in love with each other.”

Rowan made to open his mouth with a denial but Aedion held up a hand. “Nope, dude. Save the bullshit. I know just by looking at you that you’re so far gone for her, it’s unreal. And I know that Aelin has never been as happy as when she’s with you. She never laughed this freely until she met you.” Aedion let out a small huff of breath. “You have my blessing.”

Rowan just repeated his earlier statement. “Fuck.”

Their conversation was interrupted by a breathless Aelin sitting in the seat to Aedion’s right, where she promptly picked up the half-full glass of wine and chugged it.

“So what are you boys gossiping about over here that has poor Whitethorn all red in the face?”

Internally, Rowan was panicking. Aedion opened his mouth to say something that Rowan was sure to be snarky but before he could, Rowan blurted out, “birds!”

The corners of Aelin’s mouth quirked up slightly. “Birds…?” Rowan could tell that she didn’t fully believe him but luckily, Aelin was already half drunk. He hoped she would just let it go.

The first mistake Rowan made was making eye contact with her. She always had an uncanny ability to read him like an open book, despite most people not understanding him. As she narrowed her eyes, the part of their souls that has always been intertwined translated for him, as if to say, I don’t believe you and think you’re full of shit, Buzzard.

So Rowan sent his own thoughts back, I don’t know what you’re talking about, Fireheart.

The second mistake was continuing to hold her gaze. Not because he gave anything away to her but rather because it prompted the man sitting in between them to throw his hands in the air and exclaim, “Oh no. Oh helllll no. This isn’t happening right in front of me.” Aedion quickly shoved his chair away from the table and got up to leave. Before walking away completely, he turned around and pointed right at the two of them. “I’m tired of this bullshit. You guys need to get it together and just fucking make out already. Gods.” And with his piece said, Aedion stalked away, directly to the bar where he knocked back a shot immediately.

Rowan turned back to Aelin, whose eyes were wide and brows furrowed.

“Umm, what just happened?”

The only thing Rowan could do was shrug. He sure as hell wasn’t going to lie to her but he wasn’t sure that he could outright confess his feelings, either. He was saved from deciding by the transition to a slower song, one he knew Aelin liked. As he looked back over at her, her eyes had drifted closed and her shoulders were swaying slightly, moving along to the lilting melody of the song.

Rowan shoved his chair away from the table, extending his hand toward her. Blue eyes met his own and held his gaze with an intensity that could’ve set him on fire. “Dance with me, Fireheart.”

Aelin managed a small smile and took his hand, following him to the dance floor where Lysandra and Aedion and her parents were already coupled up and swaying back and forth. He gently guided her hand to rest at his shoulder, laying his own on her waist, and cradling her other to his chest.

Looking down at her, he felt like he could do this forever. Her bright teal eyes were hazed with alcohol and something else, as if she felt content, safe. Slowly, she tilted her head so it rested on his chest. Of their own accord, Rowan’s lips gently placed a kiss to her hair, inhaling her sweet lemon verbena and lavender scent. Aelin always smelled so good. So…comforting. Like home.

Through the haze of their otherworldly bubble, Aelin murmured something.

“Hmm?” he asked.

Pulling her head back, she answered him, “I said ‘are you going to tell me what that was back there at the table? With Aedion?”

He tensed, Aelin tensing along with him. “It was nothing, Aelin.”

She raised an eyebrow in protest. He knew she was disappointed. She could tell he was lying through his teeth. “It obviously wasn’t nothing. Just tell me. Did my mom say something? She and my aunts have been watching us all night like hawks.”

“Really, Fireheart...I…It’s nothing. Everything’s good.” He gave her a tight smile, hoping she would let it go and they could go back into their bubble. But, of course, this was Aelin. She tensed even further, pulling her hand off of his shoulder and making to pull away from him completely. But before she could walk away from him, he grabbed her hand and as gently as he could, pulled her back toward him. She was caught off guard, Rowan could easily tell that much.

He slowly began to sway them back and forth again. Not caring about the eyes on them, he murmured “I’m not good at this.”

Aelin’s brows furrowed together. “At what?”

Rowan’s shoulders shrugged up and down of their own accord. “This. Talking about…about my feelings.”

Aelin’s head tilted in that way of hers that told him she was thinking. “And what about your feelings are you having a hard time with?”

“I’m not having a hard time with my feelings, I just…I can’t–” Rowan sighed. “For fuck’s sake.” It was at that moment, when Aelin was looking up at him with her eyes that could see everything, her beautiful mind that could work out any problem, that he grabbed her face. “Aelin–I love you. I’m in love with you.” Rowan felt as if his heart was going to beat out of his chest, his breathing so ragged as he waited in anticipation for what she would say back. But the answer didn’t come after a few seconds. And then it didn’t come after a few more. Aelin just stood there, wide-eyed and mouth opening and closing as if she couldn’t find the words, either. And bit-by-bit, Rowan was beginning to give up hope.

Slowly, he loosened his grip on her face, meaning to step back and give her space. But before he could pull away completely, Aelin threw her arms around his neck, dragging his head down forcefully and attaching her lips to his own. If he was being honest, it was probably the least romantic kiss he’d ever experienced but it didn’t matter one bit because it was Aelin.

The kiss was over before it started and Aelin pulled back slightly. Just enough to murmur, “I love you, too, Buzzard.”

He couldn’t help the smile that overtook his face. Properly this time, he held her face between his hands and brought her mouth back to his. This kiss was entirely different from the first. Gone was the urgency and desperation and in its place was genuine love and devotion. Would he ever get enough of this? He could’ve died in her kiss a happy man right at that moment. But he hoped that he would get many more chances to experience Aelin in all her glory.

Cheers and clapping broke them out of their reverie, startling them both back into reality. Rowan assumed it was cheering for Galan and his wife but as Rowan’s gaze roamed over the crowd, they all seemed to be watching…him. Aelin’s mother was at the head of her sisters, all five of the Ashryver sisters looking toward him and Aelin. All with smirks on their face. He could’ve sworn he heard a few swoony sighs as he and Aelin made their way back to their seats, faces aflame.

Once seated, Aelin leaned in close, putting her hand dangerously high on his thigh. “Well, I’d say it’s not such a bad thing that our room only has one bed, wouldn’t you Buzzard?”

Rowan narrowed his eyes. “Did you plan this, Fireheart?”

Aelin shrugged. “Maybe, maybe not. Who could ever know.” Rowan pinched her side, making her giggle. “I will say, though, that my wheels might have started turning the moment I walked in on you having a nice little smutty dream about me.”

Rowan gaped. “Wh-what?!”

Aelin shot him an answering smirk. “Oh yeah, did you think I didn’t know? You were literally moaning my name in your sleep. How else was I supposed to take that? Unless there’s another Aelin in your life, which, if that’s the case, excuse me, I’ll let you two be alone.” She feigned getting up from the table but he pulled her right back down, bringing her face close to his.

“And so what if I was, Fireheart?” He murmured in her ear. He both saw and felt the shiver that made its way down her body.

“Then, Buzzard, I’d say its a very good thing that our room has a king bed.” While his blood heated at her promise, he couldn’t help but think that this was the start of something amazing. Something that felt like home.

Tagging:

@cretaceous-therapod @morganofthewildfire @tomtenadia @live-the-fangirl-life @charlizeed @violet-mermaid7 @euphoric-melancholyy @kritical24 @rubyriveraqueen @dealfea @wellofnothing @ayaashryver @moonknight-spector @leiawritesstories @whoever-you-choose-to-love @holdthefrickup @heirofflowers @thecrispypotatochip @shanias-world @rowanaelinn @bruiseonthefaceofhumanity @hanging-from-a-cliff @fantacysoup @swankii-art-teacher @thegreyj @fromthelibraryofemilyj @westofmoon @lovely-dove-zee @books4eva04 @cookiemonsterwholovesbooks @backtobl4ck @dreamer-133 @elentiyawhitethorn @writtenonreceipts @shyvioletcat @aelinchocolatelover @captain-of-the-gwynriel-ship @athena127 @tothestarsandwhateverend @highqueenofelfhame

#rowaelin #rowaelin fanfic #rowaelin fanfiction #rowaelin fic #throne of glass #tog #throne of glass fanfiction #rowaelin au #aelin galathynius #rowan whitethorn #my fics #my fic #rowaelin secret Santa

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fieldofsecretss · 1 year

Text

!1k SPECIAL!

Theme: all of the above, you might’ve to sit down for this loves, it’ll be very very veeery long, grab a drink and a snack or something ; )

Pairings: Draco Malfoy x Female!Reader

Warnings: This will contain SMUT, [18+] themes, FLUFF, dark DARK subjects and stuff, maybe a bit ANGST

[this little celebration fic will have multiple fics in it]

A/n: feel free to skip this speech and just jump straight into the fic below the cut, but I’m happy if you’d like to read it anyway <3

I remember when I was jumping and squealing in happiness when I reached 100 followers. A year ago I posted with zero expectations and yet here I am with 1000 beautiful people following MY blog and reading MY work🙄 first of, why? But let’s be positive here!

I know I haven’t been as active as I’ve promised y’all to be, but I’m trying my best, believe it or not but I have a life outside tumblr too😂 I’m trying my best loves <3 anyway if you’ve read this, thank you for being patient with meeee!

——————————————————————

His head cocked to the side as his eyes marveled over all of the...things laid out before him. He couldn't seem to understand the numerous brushes varying in designs and sizes. He was confused by the small black container with a circle containing some sort of pink powder. Draco had absolutely seen makeup before, but he never knew how extensive it was, he had only ever seen some lipstick and eyeshadow tops!

"What are you looking at, Love?" Your voice called out when you entered the bathroom smiling, to see him staring at your makeup laying on the countertop.

"Is ALL OF THIS your makeup?" Draco asked shocked, not believing that there could possibly be more.

You smiled quite sweetly.

"Some of it, yeah. Haven't you seen makeup before?" You giggled, feeling entertained by his surprise.

"Of course I have. I've never seen my mother without it on, but this is so...fascinating." He drawled, sitting down in the chair in front of your makeup mirror.

You watched with content as he studied the things that stood out to him, answering most of his questions when he had them.

"What's this for, y/n?" He wondered, picking up a metallic-pink tube of mascara.

“See how long my lashes are?" You pointed out, batting your thick black lashes so he could see the effect.

He raised a brow at that, setting down the tube and continuing to rifle through your stuff, you couldn’t help but compare him to a little raccoon. You went on to explain how blush went on your cheeks for a rosy glow, and how the bottle of setting spray kept everything in place the whole day. He was perfectly amused and amazed at how much time went into your makeup routine everyday.

A radiant grin spread on his features when he suddenly spotted something familiar.

"Now I know what this is." He announced, holding up your favorite lipgloss.

It was a light, pinkish-peachy shade with small sparkles that he knew you wore almost everyday. It was also his personal favorite on you...it was cherry flavored too, so that’s a plus.

"Oh, I know you do," You smiled, "Actually, would you mind handing it to me? I need to touch up a bit."

Draco, though, didn't hand it over.

"Can I...put it on for you?" He requested, playing with the wand of the tube, listening as it make sticky sounds.

You beamed as you sat on the counter, prompting him to stand up to be level with your face.

"Go for it." You granted.

The young Malfoy couldn't hold back the small smile as he dragged the lipgloss across your lip, his eyes narrowing a little in concentration.

Draco was surprisingly good at it, his steady hand creating an even layer of lipgloss on both lips. Not too much and thick not too little. You rubbed them together when he was done, popping them dramatically when he stepped back to look.

"Pretty?" You asked when you saw the satisfaction on his expression.

He cupped your face with his slender ring clad hand, looking into your y/e/c eyes that he loved endlessly.

"Pretty."

You pressed your lips onto his in a sticky lipglossy kiss, leaving his lips with some sparkly lipgloss on them.

“now you’re pretty too!” You said happily as you wiped his lips with your delicate fingers

——————————————————————

Draco was sat down on the couch in the Slytherin common room with a lit cigarette in between his ring clad fingers, inhaling a deep and slow drag of smoke every once in a while. With him was Blaise, Theo, Crabbe and Goyle. Just talking shit about Gryffendoor’s, a normal Saturday...basically.

While they rambled on and off about boring shit the door opened and in came a walking y/n, makeup natural but still refreshing and wakening. A white crop top with a blush pink unzipped jacket and jeans. A sight for sore eyes as Draco would say every time he saw you, his loving girlfriend.

“Well hello there, love” Draco greeted you as you plopped down onto his lap. You looked up at him and pouted, he raised one eyebrow.

“Kissie, please” you said closing your eyes, and soon his lips crashed on yours and his large hand cupped your jaw per usual. Gods you’d die for him without a second thought. He tasted like smoke and mint, him you thought. Suddenly his tongue swiped over your lower lip, smudging your cherry lipgloss earning a irritated groan from you while you pulled away. You patted his cheek making him chuckle a little.

You pulled up a little pocket mirror so that you could apply a new coat of lipgloss when you heard a high pitched giggle. You put down your mirror and looked up in front you, raven black hair, yup. Of course it had to be Pansy fucking Parkinson.

“Well, well, dracie. Still together with that bitch I see, I’m genuinely shocked that you two are together still. I mean you can do so much better than...that” Pansy mocked while giving you a disgusted look.

Before Draco could open his mouth to even talk back you interrupted him with a rather calm voice and a mocking smile.

“You hate on me but are still watching? Honey you’re a fan” you snapped leaning back on Draco’s chest while laughing sarcastically. Draco knew he never had to defend you but he’d never sit down and watch his girlfriend take shit from a attention seeking prick like Pansy, but he knew you hated it when he interrupted your and Pansy’s famous fights.

“You’re just jealous that i fell for y/n instead of you, move on!” Draco sighed loudly.

“Oh please, jealous of that skank? No thank you, I mean look at her! She’s a bitch that has too much confidence! What do you even see in her? She’s not even pretty, she’s not even skinny enough and not to forget that she’s a fucking brat” everyone could see Pansy’s blood boiled.

“She’s fucking perfect, not common trash like you Parkinson, her body is perfect, the prettiest fucking woman I’ve ever seen. She doesn’t seek for attention like you” Draco said kissing your cheek.

“I mean yeah. I love my curves, my imperfections, my jiggling thighs, no one said you have to. If you low-key don’t like me, I highly don’t care. Queens don’t compete with hoes, sweetie” you said in a singsong voice. Then everybody in the room started laughing except Pansy who speed walked out in anger.

You turned around to face Draco with an expression of victory.

“Y’okay, love?” He asked rubbing your cheek with his thumb and eyebrows furrowed in concern.

“Some people are like clouds you know, when they disappear, it’s a brighter day” you giggled in response and nuzzled your face in the crook of his neck.

“You are a genius, love” he said while tickling your waist making you squirm and laugh until you heard a cough.

“We’re still here y’know?” Blaise said at the couple.

——————————————————————

Draco’s POV

I’m hanging out with my friends when I hear shouting. I look up and see y/n, my enemy, arguing with a gryffindor girl.

It looks like the gryffindork is loosing this battle. Suddenly her, what looks like her boyfriend, stands up and pushing the gryffindor girl behind him.

He’s now shouting at y/n. I clench my fists and stand up.

“Where are you going?” Blaise asks. “I have priorities” I reply simply.

I make my way over to y/n and snake an arm around her waist and pulling her towards my chest.

“If you don’t stop yelling at my girl, I’ll make sure you’ll never talk again” I say coldly.

The guy goes to say something back but the gryffindor girl pulls him away from the scene they created.

Y/n turns around and gives me a grateful nod making me chuckle.

“I know some other ways to thank me, love” I whisper in her ear getting flashbacks from last night, all I could hear was her beautiful moans and pleads of pleasure

——————————————————————

Draco’s hips slammed in and out of your tight cunt with an inhuman pace; his chest is draped across your front, arms up and around your back and holding you flush to him, skin to skin, sweat against sweat. You’re absolutely gone as he pounds into your wet and sensitive pussy. You’re too cockdrunk to even react to his harsh thrusts, although every snap of his hips pushes you closer and closer to the release you so desperately need, you’d do anything to just have an amazing and breathtaking orgasm.

Draco’s pace gets slower, deepening until the head of his cock is nestled almost painfully against your cervix. His cock felt so much bigger than usual, you think absentmindedly — the way he’s pushed himself so deep into you, so far into you has you squirming. This was sex in a whole new level.

“shh, shh, bunny. Gonna stuff you so full of my cum, alright? gonna make you feel so good. Gonna give my pretty princess a baby. Would you like that? you want daddy’s baby?”

“yes, yes daddy, please. I want it, I-I need it,” you whimper, you could practically not think, just blabbering and clawing at his chest. Draco pushes your knees against your tummy making your knees touch your tits, revelling in the way your puffy and abused pussy swallows him whole, folds hugging him tight, sticky wetness oozing out around his cock. Your expression is dazed, fuzzy, jaw slack and hooded eyes, shedding tears of pleasure.

“Okay, bunny” he groans, “gonna fill you right up, and you’re gonna take it all like a good girl.”

He collapses, resting all his weight on top of your pathetic body, pressing your back into the bed. You can feel his cock twitch inside of you and then a pleasurable warmth floods your insides. Draco lets out an almost pornographic moan, forcing himself back up, regaining the strength, to angle your hips upwards. when he pulls out, your hole gapes and shrinks. you feel empty - too empty - after being stretched by his fat cock. you inhale sharply, gripping Draco’s forearm tightly.

he uses two fingers for scooping the steady stream of cum leaking from you and push it inside your sensitive hole again.

“daddy, too much. Please, please too much,” you whimper, your cunt is far too sensitive and the added pleasure is bordering to pain. Draco groans, pinching your nipple making you squirm and whine.

“stay still. gotta keep it in, princess. make sure it takes, hm? you’re all messy.” he tilts your hips at a steeper angle. “Such a messy girl…my messy girl, isn’t that right, princess?” He said in a husky voice.

“Mm, yes daddy. M’only yours…”

“Wanna hear you say it. So so.” He prodded and you gave in of course.

“Only your messy girl, daddy”

——————————————————————

“I’m gonna fill this little cunt of yours with my cum, okay? And you’re gonna take it, no whining and most importantly, no moving.” Draco ruts into you from behind, arm slung around your waist as he empties his load into you, making you writhe around from the fact you were still on edge, having not hit your high yet.

“All in due time, m’love. I’ll make you feel good, just wait a little bit longer.” He presses wet kisses to the back of your neck, whispering sweet nothings into your ear as he drags time on, wanting to make sure he’d done enough to get you pregnant with his child.

Draco slowly begins thrusting into you again, low squelches emitted as you start back on the path to tipping off the edge, needing your own pleasure to hit you already.

“See baby, that wasn’t so bad. Now just breathe, and let me take good care of you..after all, this may be one of last times we can do it before that baby in you starts growing.”

——————————————————————

“So…how was your date?” Draco asked you, his jaw was clenched and he couldn’t find himself to keep eye contact for longer than a second you noticed.

“Oh, yeah. Fine I guess” you answered while fidgeting with your bracelet on your left wrist. Yesterday you went on a date with a guy named Johnny, you knew him from some of your classes. He was a Gryffindor, quite popular actually. Known for being good looking and a girl magnet, but recently he’s been thirsting over you for some reason.

For weeks he’s been trying to get your attention, flirting and holding books and doors open for you. You didn’t like him, you just couldn’t see the hype about him, he was an asshole after all. A snobby kid with social issues who thinks he’s the best of the best, of the halfbloods.

Draco could say the same within a heartbeat.

But when he asked you out on a date, you just said yes for him to leave you alone afterwards. The start of the date was going okay-boring but not horrible. You had some dinner and talked, but he didn’t even give you a chance to speak, he was selfishly rambling about his fortune and girls that wished that they had your place in that moment. Let’s say you couldn’t wait to tell Draco and laugh about all of this shit. But the night took a weird turn when he found out you were a virgin…he insisted to change that for you.

“You sure? You’re acting the opposite” Draco pondered, he knew you and all of your behaviors.

“Uhm, can I ask you something? It’s like very very personal so please don’t be weird about it, dray” you said while you took a deep breath. He looked at you with disbelief.

“Y/n, you know you can ask me anything. We can tell each other anything and everything without feeling judged” he huffed out. You just nodded.

“So? Go on!” He said impatiently. He wouldn’t dare to say it out loud, but he loved that you only told him

about your problems, he loved the trust.

“Is…is sex supposed to…hurt?” You almost whispered. Draco’s eyes widened at the question, he was prepared for you to ask him about something…less sexual. You didn’t dare to look at him. Did he hear you right?

“Sorry, come again?” He asked as he put all of his focus on your words. You sighed, now it just got weird

“I said, is sex supposed to be that…painful?” Your cheeks were burning hot and your palms were balmed.

“No…! absolutely not, did that halfblood do something he shouldn’t have done?! I swear by Merlin’s beard tha-“ Draco was visibly upset.

“No-no! I agreed to do it. It’s just that it didn’t...- everything happened so fast and it was nothing like I pictured it, and I regret it so much! I wish I could’ve saved my first time for someone special, not with some snobby bloke against a wall in a restroom” you frowned when you saw Draco’s shocked face.

“First time? I’m sorry it was that bad y/n.” He said giving you a sympathetic look. Suddenly a light bulb appeared above Draco.

“I can show you how it’s supposed to feel like, if you want of course” Draco prayed you’d say yes, he’d take such good care of you...but he’d absolutely never force you. Never ever.

You laughed humorlessly, but you stopped when you saw his neutral facial expression. You thought for a second...was he serious?! Is he joking?

“You mean that?...”

“Of course I do.”

“....O-okay.....” you flusterly agree

“No none of that, you’ve gotta tell me y/n...do you want me to show you, really? I want to hear you say it..I need to hear you say it and mean it” he stood close to you, you could feel the warmth radiate from his body.

You look up at him to look him in his beautiful eyes...you nod.

“I want you to show me Draco”

(This one sucked though)

——————————————————————

Hot silent tears danced their way down your cheeks, leaving a black-ish trail of mascara under your eyes. You were tense.. your shoulders trembled and rattled through every deep breath you took, you were almost dizzy while you briskly walked. You were headed to the only place you felt safe. The only place you felt the most accepted and cared for, Draco’s dorm.

The walk there was long and risky, filch could catch you at any moment, it was a 50/50 chance. You were bound to get there though, because this couldn’t wait. You could’ve waited until the next morning, but you hoped the icy air in the hallways could calm you down a bit, which it did to a certain degree. Finally nearing his door your breath mellows out a little bit while you sniffled through the fast tears. You know the moment you see him everything is going to come rushing back to you again, but for now you find an eye in the storm. When you lift your gaze from your shoes you were right in front of the dark wooden door you were oh so familiar with.

Taking a big breath, you lifted you fist and knocked four times-for good measure. No matter how many times you’ve been there doing the exact same thing, this time it felt extra loud as your knocks echoed in the airy building. You heard shuffling from the other side, you lifted your hand and focused on your knuckles, feeling yourself starting to drift into your own mind. Before you venture too far into your own mind, the hinge of the door opened, bringing you back as you gaze upon those beautiful metallic eyes of his.

He immediately absorbs your appearance. Each emotion of concern, worry and shock spread across his features.

“Love, what’s wrong? Are you alright? What are you doing here this late, you could’ve gotten spotted”

Each question of his whirls past you, overwhelming you and simultaneously easing the ache in your bones just by hearing his deep voice.

You immediately tackle him into a hug, nuzzling your face into his casually clad chest. A white t-shirt he opted to wear for the night.

His body reacts faster than his brain as he expands his large over your back, protecting you from what seems to be bothering you. The deep rumble in his chest indicates he’s starting up his interrogation again.

“Sweetheart, you’re scaring me. What’s going on?” His voice firm yet gentle.

“I-I’m fine, I just-well..” your voice slightly muffled by his shirt but his attentive ear catches them.

“Come on, let’s get you inside, yeah?”

“Yeah ok..”

He slightly breaks the embrace to gently lead you into the familiar second ‘home’ and leads you to sit down onto his tightly made bed.

Still holding onto your shoulders he sits you down onto the dark green covers of his bed, he leans his body closer to yours, meeting your eyes as he ducks his head a little to be in eye level. He scans your face, the worry evident and unmoving. Yet he waits for your words..

“I have no idea where to start, dray”

“And that’s okay, take a deep breath and relax. Can you tell me what’s going on in that pretty head of yours?” He asks softly, almost uncharacteristically softly.

At the moment you just think of how gentle he is with you, how he is the rock in your life.

“I’m thinking of you…a-and how gentle and loving you are towards me” the tears now again making their appearance known by rolling down your cheeks. But this time his ring clad hand catches the tears before they fall.

“I-I came over because I need you Draco...I needed my Draco because I don’t-.” your breath catches in your throat as you fight the lump resting there “because I don’t have anyone else I can tell this to”

His hands found yours. He nods along with your words. Really absorbing every word that leaves your plump lips.

“Okay baby. You know I’m always here for you and I’m glad you can trust me this much, whatever it is you can tell me”

“I know” you say giving him a watery smile. He waits patiently for you to begin to talk again, anticipating every word. You take a deep breath and sigh.

“I just couldn’t hold the weight of this anymore, dray. It’s too heavy for me”

“What weight, love?” He asks as he feel his heart starting to sink

“Me being...” you pause, the word catching on your tongue. This was it. The moment that had driven you mad. Made you feel like a freak. The real reason you felt like an outcast, and outsider. The truth you’ve been harboring for years. You had suppressed it, not realizing until you got older and your brain got more developed, you’ve run from it but now your legs were tired. The fear that held its grip on you was about to unclench now, with him..your Draco.

“I’m bi-bisexual, Draco”

The words hang in the air, the world felt as it zoomed in on the two of you.

“Oh sweetheart…I’m so proud of you. I love you, thank you for telling me”

“Oh Dray, I love you too and I don’t want you to think that I’m not committed to you or-“ he cuts you off mid ramble.

“No Sh sh sh, love I wasn’t thinking that”

“Okay” you replied.

There’s a beat while you two process what had been said, so you continued to explain what lead you to come out to him.

“So I’ve been dealing with this for a long time...I-it’s just..it’s been heavy on my mind lately and was getting too much to hold in”

He nods, acknowledging how vulnerable you are this very moment.

“Tonight it just bubbled up and eventually spilled over I guess..” he hangs onto every word you say.

“I received a letter tonight and I snuck out to see you because my parents...they-“ you feel yourself begin to choke up as you think of their harsh words.

“Breathe y/n, it’s okay you got this” he comforts.

“They said some really nasty things about gay people and I had to pretend it didn’t affect me at all, but when I was alone and read the letter and those things they said I just broke down, I just lost it” tears run down your face in a fast pace, your hand begin to shake in pent up anger, sadness and pain

His grip on your hands became firmer, he grounded you, encouraging you. He leaned his forehead against yours, brushing his beautiful nose against yours in a loving gesture.

“My beautiful girl, so strong..I’m so incredibly proud of you. And I’m so sorry your parents are pricks”

“But that’s the thing Draco, you’ve met them and they aren’t necessarily bad people but-“

“They are idiots”

“Yeah…you’re right..they are.”

Draco now feeling more protective of you than ever says,

“How dare they make my sweet girl feel this way, huh? Wait until my father hear about this shit” he looks into your sad eyes.

“You’re perfect to me, if being bi is who you are, then it’s who you are, love”

You give him a little smile which he reciprocates happily. You were convinced he was an angel sent down to you. How divine it was having someone loving you for you.

“Thank you Draco, I love you”

“Of course, I love you too y/n”

You give each other a shy eyes, he starts to lean in before stopping close enough for you to feel his minty breath on your lips.

“This okay..?” He ask for your permission

“Always, dray” you breathe out and your lips connects in a bruising, loving and emotional kiss..

And then it was sealed...

——————————————————————

“Baaaabe.” You heard Draco moan from the bedroom. You sighed slightly and turned the heat down on the soup you were heating on the stove before making your way into the room. You leaned against the doorframe as you looked at your boyfriend from his spot in the bed. He was laying with all the pillows and blankets he could find and was completely bundled up. He was sick with a really bad cold and you had offered to come over and help take care of him. You just weren’t expecting him to be so demanding about it. Or no, you actually did. It’s Draco we’re talking about.

“What do you need, dray?” You sighed, he had been calling you back here every few minutes since you got here an hour ago.

“I’m lonely.” He pouted, jutting his bottom lip out for emphasis, his voice strained from being congested. Gray eyes a little red and watery.

“Lonely? How could you possibly be lonely? I’ve been in here every 5 minutes.” You said slightly exasperated.

“But you don’t staaay.” He whined. You smirked at that, who knew the scary and mean Draco malfoy, one of the sacred 28 was such a baby when he was sick? Not you, that’s for sure.

“How can I stay if you keep sending me to get you stuff?” You shot back, not able to keep away the amused tone from your voice.

Draco thought about that for a moment, obviously the sickness was not making him think as clearly as he wanted. “I don’t know, but you need to do both.” He said with a grin, obviously playing around

“Well how about I finish making you the soup you asked me for and we can snuggle a little while you eat? I can even play with your hair like you like. Okay, you big baby?” You offered, rolling your eyes. You saw his tired expression brighten slightly at the suggestion

“Okay! Thank you.” He responded, coughing slightly from the excitement. You turned to walk away before Draco stopped you. “And baby? I love you.”

You smiled at him, the sweetest smile you could put on, before, “I know.” You laughed as you walked out of the room and down the hall.

“Bunny?!” Draco exclaimed loudly, coughing again. “You have to say it back!” He yelled as loud as he could at you, voice raspy. Only your amused laughter (bordering on a cackle) was your response.

You walked back in a few minutes later to a very pouty boyfriend, you walked over to him and passed him the soup before getting in the bed next to him. “Eat up, baby. It’ll help you get better.”

“Not until you say it.” He said petulantly. You laughed lightly and ran your hand through his hair, lightly scratching his scalp at you did. You didn’t miss the small content flutter of his eyelids at your motions, smiling softly to yourself.

“I love you too, pretty boy.” You said adoringly. “Even when you are a pain in my ass.”

Draco beamed at you, “Good, ’cause I plan on being a pain in your ass until one of us dies. So get used to it.” You laughed loudly at that, not missing the butterflies you felt. You couldn’t wait for forever with this wonderfully ridiculous man. “Honestly, I could have died and the last thing you said to me was ‘I know’ when I told you I loved you? Who do you think you are?”

“Okay okay, calm down big boy. I’m sorry, I love so so very very much!” You said and gave him a big smooch on his lips, not caring if you’d get sick too.

——————————————————————

With a smirk donning on his face he said “So, you love me huh?”

“I think it is pretty evident by now”

“Nah I’m not convinced,” he said staring deep into my eyes. I knew what he wanted

I nudged my nose on his neck, licking his earlobe slowly as his breath hitches

“Tell me daddy…how can I convince you?” I almost purred, voice breathy and hot.

“Wanna be daddies good girl?”

I whined, his words going straight to my core, making me feel the hot wetness pooling. I loved how quickly and smoothly the dynamic shifts between us.

“Mhm, please daddy…wanna be your good girl-

——————————————————————

Pain, sadness, anger

That’s all you felt right now. You were seated on the edge of your best friends bed, Draco. Sniffles and sobs was all you could muster.

“H-how could I be so fucking stupid!” You said, voice broken and laced with anger...

“It’s not your fault he’s a fucking player, y/n” Draco said while rubbing your back soothingly, in a attempt to calm you down just a bit.

“But I fell for his game, Draco! I didn’t realize how badly he treated me all along, I wish I could’ve just turn back time and fucking kick him right in the-“

“Okay! Okay, I get it darling. No need to get aggressive. I warned you about him everyday, but you would be so stubborn and not listen to a single word I had to say about him.” Draco said and you just looked at him with an apologetic look.

“I’m sorry...” you said full of shame

“For what exactly, darling?” He asked confused as if he had missed something

“For not listening” you answered. And he knew this was so wrong in so many levels, but the way you looked at him with tears decorating your cheeks, a few buttons on your school shirt undone showing cleavage and the way you apologized made his cock harden…

“You have always treated me right and making me realize my worth, I don’t know why I didn’t listen to you this time-“

You were cut off by Draco smashing his lips on yours, you were taken aback by his sudden action at first but soon you returned the kiss. It was hungry, rushed and it were full of…something you couldn’t describe...

He pulled back to catch his breath and look at you for consent. You gave him a encouraging nod. Lips were connected again, he laid you down on the bed and let his hand roam your body. You took the freedom to feel his abs through his shirt and you couldn’t resist to lightly whimper.

“You have been a very bad girl now baby…not listening to what daddy tells you, what happened to the obedient girl who always listened to her daddy hm?” He asked, y/n’s submissive side came to surface immediately.

“M’sorry daddy..” Your thighs rubbed against each other, an uncomfortable feeling in your panties caused by your arousal smearing on your thighs.

“Didn’t ask for apologies, angel” he said and flipped you around so you were laying on your stomach and Draco behind you.

“Ass up baby girl” he said, voice determined and husky.

And you obeyed, arching your back and pushing your ass up. You felt him move and switch behind you, spreading your cheeks apart and pressing his thumb at your entrance.

“So wet f’me already?” He mocked with a cocky smile. He hiked your skirt up to reveal your perfectly built ass...

He gave your ass a rough squeeze making you let out a airy moan. He stopped and pulled you to the edge of the bed. He bent down to give your lower back a kiss before standing up again running his hands along your body.

“I hate to see you cry, angel...” he said. But that’s not true, he took quite pleasure in seeing you cry. Having you tremble and sob was the most goddamn beautiful thing he'd ever seen.

“Sorry I was a bad girl and didn’t listen daddy…” you said tears threatening to fall again.

“Yeah angel, you should be” He wanted to show you what you were missing out while you were busy simping over Zabini who played you around like a show off trophy.

-he wanted to you to be his. No he needed you to be his. He had to prove to you that he owned you, you were his property.

He slipped off your baby blue panties painfully slow.

“Now angel…gonna let daddy put his cock inside that tiny cunt of yours? Gonna fill you up with m’babies til you’re round, sounds good hm?”

The only word that left your mouth was a weak and pathetic ‘please’

You lifted your hips a little and moved your feet a little wider to show how bad you needed him right now. Draco cracked a proud smile. He unbuckled his belt and let it fall to the ground with a sharp thud, making you jolt up a little in surprise.

Soon enough he’s aligned at your entrance, torturing you with his slow actions.

“You’re mine now” you heard him whisper before he forcefully pushed inside of you, he was so big, the sting making you feel like you were on fire. You made grabby hands to show him that you needed comfort

“H-hold...” you said, voice cracking

“What’s that, angel? Wanna hold hands?” Draco mocked in a loving way. You only nodded while a tear slowly danced down your flushed cheeks. He leaned forward and intertwined his fingers with your small ones. Now the stretch was bearable.

He moved in further, ripping a sob out of you while doing so. Now he pushed even more so that he was buried deep inside of you, he was fully inside of you. He gave you some time to get used to the feeling.

Your legs shook, struggling to take all of him. But apparently nothing is impossible.

He groaned and squeezed your hand a firm squeeze to distract you a little.

“So small, so innocent all for me to ruin”

“You sure you can take this, angel?” He asked.

“Y-yes m’sure but you’re so b-big” you answered stubborn as always.

He started to move and at last he started to thrust deep inside of you. He watched as his cock disappeared in and out of your tight cunt. The pain from the stretch was compensated with the erotic and intimate feeling.

Your walls soft like velvet and the wetness he created making him loose his mind on you.

“Bloody hell, angel” he moaned while he threw his head back in pleasure and you answered with moan after moan...

He was so hard and heavy inside of you

“D-daddy-oh” you said in between moans and pants. Your whole body was sore and tired. His hand soon landed where you were sinfully connected and started to rub rough circles on it making electricity shoot through you. Moans increased in volume and your bodies had a thin glistening layer of sweat.

Draco grunted in pleasure, he felt himself slowly loosing control while fucking you in a animalistic pace.

“Your mine, only mine. I’m not sharing...No one can fuck you like I can, fucking Zabini don’t know what he lost!” Draco said while postponing himself in you in a brutal pace.

The double stimulation making the coil in your tummy tighten and bliss flowing in your veins.

Draco feels how close you were, squeezing him like a vice

“That’s it, c’mon cream all over my cock, cum for me angel” he hissed.

You screamed his name while you fell apart-euphoria. Coating his cock with your release, the mere sight of it and with a bias his thick white ropes of cum filled you up to the brim. The feeling making you shiver. He stayed inside of you to make sure to all of his white sin stays inside of you. When he had catched his breath again he pulled out carefully.

He observed how your small figure shook under him, he smiled lightly and kissed your sweaty forehead . He cleaned you up and you two laid together in his bed.

“Your mine now y/n, if you’ll have me. Zabini don’t know what he lost at all, he lost the world right before his eyes, y/n.”

At that a tear fell, not of hurt, not of pleasure but of love. You were so in love with Draco and have always been, but because of your strong bond you thought he just saw you as a good friend. But now he’s proven to you that you are his and no one else’s.

“Hold me closer Draco” you said and he swore his heart just melted.

——————————————————————

WARNINGS:!personally idk but: crying, dark thoughts, mentions of bad relationship with food and body, ED, sh.

Very personalized but I hope it’s okay anyway <3

You were woken up by the golden light caused by the morning sun, the birds chirped their everyday morning song per usual. You turned to your side just to find the love of your life, the one and only Draco Lucius Malfoy. The boy you couldn’t live without, and he could say the same about you. His light snores and relaxed facial expression made you smile a little, knowing that you were his and he was yours.

You decided to let him sleep a little longer and walked out of bed to go to the bathroom to get ready for the day, one of the benefits of dating a Malfoy, private dorm plus a private bathroom!

You brushed your teeth and tamed your hair after a too good night of sleep and some…other nightly activities with your boyfriend… but when it was time to put on your clothes you walked in front of a big mirror, you knew better than to be a brat and complain about your body and yada yada…but how could you not?

You stood only in your underwear, a pair of blush pink panties and a matching brah, you looked at your legs, then your thighs, the old scares on your inner thighs had started to pale a little, giving away a faint glimmer in the light. Then you looked at your forearms, the scares were fresher there probably around a couple months old. You stood there tracing the scares with a blank expression, not noticing Draco in the doorway you just stood in your own dark thoughts. He cleared his throat which startled you making you jump in place.

“Oh, good morning Dray!” You greeted Draco with a warm smile on your lips as usual. He looked at you with a knowing look before he walked in and hugged you from behind.

“Good mornin’ princess, slept good?” He asked and turned your bodies so that you were facing the large mirror.

“Yup! I’m sorry if I woke you up” you said, but the truth was that you had barely got a chance to fall asleep last night, and it was your dark thoughts to blame. But you knew you’d just make Draco more worried about you than he already was, so you sneaked in a white lie together with your warmest most convincing smile you had.

But Draco wasn’t dumb, he could sense your bad lies but decided to let it be and talk about it later.

“Don’t worry baby, just noticed you’re missing s’ all” he said letting go of you and started to get dressed.

Later that day

Lunchtime came fast today, you sat next to Draco at your table as usual. You had a very bad relationship with food and nobody except Draco knew about your eating disorder that you developed two years ago, in your fourth year in Hogwarts. He has helped you through the struggle at dinner time and you were beyond grateful for him.

“I know we have been taking baby steps, but today I’ll challenge you to eat a whole piece of chicken and vegetables” he said while handing you the plate with a little piece of chicken and greens. It wasn’t much for a ‘normal’ person, but for you it was very stressful and challenging…

“N-no Draco, it’s to much” you faced him with a worried expression. But you got calmer once he gave you a reassuring smile and a pat on your back.

“Don’t worry, princess. I’ll always be with you, let’s do it together hm?” He asked.

You nodded your head, you just wanted to make him proud of you for making progress in this subject. But just when you picked up your fork you heard Pansy Parkinson giggle with her friends a few seats away from you and Draco.

“Look! I think it’s the first time I ever seen y/l/n eat something” she said loud enough for you to hear

“About fucking time, look how her clothes are falling of her body” her friends said, joining her in a fit of cocky giggles.

You dropped your fork as fast as you picked it up and stood up from your seat.

“Y/n, don’t listen to pug face over there! Please sta-“ he grabbed your arm in a attempt to make you stay and finish your well needed dinner, but you yanked your arm away from his grip

“Please Draco, just leave me alone!” You said with a weak tone, your smile was long gone and your y/e/c eyes welled with tears. Draco let go of your arm and watched you hurry out in a horrible state.

He stood up aggressively and looked towards Pansy and her minions with a face red of anger. She just looked at him with a raised eyebrow and arms crossed.

“Thank fucking you for ruining her life! I’ve been trying to get her to eat for the longest time, and just when she was about to take a big step in her recovery you and your brain dead fucking minions tore her confidence and progress down!” He screamed at the raven haired girl, ignoring all the nasty looks he was given by the whole great hall.

“Woah, calm down Malfoy . I am sure she can stand up for herself, the truth lasts the longest. Like have she ever looked in the mirror? Like we wasn’t lying about it”

Pansy said with a gross amount of confidence.

“Honestly, what the hell is wrong with you?...” Draco said while he left the great hall to go looking for you.

Just when Draco opened his dorm room, knowing you never felt at peace in your own. He heard sniffles from the bathroom, he felt panic rise as he thought you’d hurt yourself. He took long and fast strides towards the dark wooden door and knocked.

“Y/n, love? Can you please unlock the door?” He only heard sobs which only scared him more.

“Alohomora” he walked in and immediately found you in a corner with your legs pressed to your chest and head down.

He walked over to you and pulled you in for a warm hug, you buried you face in his chest and let all your tears spill. He grabbed your wrists and examined them, he did the same with your legs. The gesture broke your heart.

Draco saw that his move hurt your feelings, but he had to make sure you were not hurt in any way.

“I’m sorry...” he heard you whisper.

“No stop that, you don’t have anything to be sorry about” he said while his eyes watered knowing how bad you felt now.

“ I-I was going to try to eat but I lost my appetite…” you sniffled. Draco rubbed your back and kissed your forehead with a sympathetic look.

“I don’t blame you princess, I’d loose my appetite too if I saw Parkinson’s pug face” Draco said and was relieved when you let out a little laugh between your tears.

“I just wanted to make you proud. I do want to eat Draco, but it is so hard for some reasons, I don’t want to be this thin believe it or not!” You said and he listened attentive to every word that came out of you.

“I just can’t find myself to eat, and every time you check my legs and wrists a piece of me always dies, because I know its my fault that you don’t trust me anymore. M’sorry” you sobbed out

He picked you up in his arms and put you down on his bed and tucked you in, he gave you a kiss on your cheek, he walked towards the door

“Wait where are you going?” You asked, you thought he was going back to his classes

“Don’t worry, love. I’ll hurry!” He said before he closed the door

Almost 20 minutes later he returned with a tray of different fruits, berries of all different varieties, steaming fresh pasta and a lot of snacks and soft drinks

“What are you up to now, Draco?” You asked as you watched him struggle to close the door with his hands full of things.

He walked up to you in the bed and placed the tray in your lap, he then changed into pajamas pants and a white t-shirt and sat in front of you in the bed with a grin on his face

“ okay princess, this is our plan. You and me are going to eat this pasta together, a also brought fruits and berries because I know you love berries. Then we are going to eat all of these snack while I read to you aloud. Is that okay?”

You just looked at him with so much love so that you wouldn’t be surprised you had hearts in your eyes when you looked at him. You nodded your head.

“Good! You don’t have to eat all of it, don’t feel any pressure because I’ll always be here with you.” He said.

You two ate the pasta together and he was very happy that you ate all of it! And you ate some berries while Draco ate a green apple, of course! Now you laid on his chest while he read aloud, like the cherry on the top he picked your favorite book! He traced small hearts on the exposed skin on your arm and paused his reading to look down at you

“What’s on that mind of yours, love?” He asked, you looked so deep in thought so that he just had to ask.

“You have been amazing to me Draco and I appreciate you so much. But someday you’ll probably grow tired and irritated of my problems, and I want you to know that I don’t blame you if if you do, I get tired of myself” you chuckled at the last part.

“But I don’t know how to live without you, it sounds stupid and dramatic, but it’s the truth.” You looked up at him, he had put his book down and sat himself up against the bed frame.

He grabbed your hands and kissed both of them.

“Y/n, I don’t even want to hear such bullshit, excuse my choice of word but that’s just rubbish! I’ll never in my entire life grow tired of helping you! I could never live with myself if I just left you all alone to deal with those dark thoughts on your own. I need you as much as you need me. I can’t live without you y/n, and I’ll never leave you.” He said while keeping eye contact.

Tears of happiness rolled down from your cheeks.

“Don’t cry princess” Draco said with tears rolling down too

“Now you’re crying!” You laughed as more tears looked like a waterfall in a rainforest

Draco leaned in and gave you a assuring kiss, a kiss that showed so much love it almost overwhelmed you. Yeh pulled away and picked you up and held you in his arms like a baby.

“I’m never leaving you, never princess”

——————————————————————

“wait! Come back! I thought you loved me“ Draco said dramatically to y/n who only needed to go to the bathroom.

“I’m literally just going to the bathroom, Draco, you’re so clingy today” y/n said the last part before she opened the bathroom door, but Draco ran inside the bathroom before she even could register what happened. She walked in too and closed the door after them anyway.

“I can’t even go to the bathroom alone anymore, huh? “ she asked when she sat down on the toilet. He sat down in front of her and just looked at her with heart eyes, even if she was peeing he didn’t care!

“No…y’done now? Let’s go and cuddle…!” He said to y/n when she walked out of the bathroom, to her desk to study for charms. She shook her head to her desperate boyfriend.

“Sorry Draco, but I really need to study right noow...!” She said as she pulled out a pencil and parchment to start her work, but Draco had other her plans. He whined and sighed for literally 10 minutes before he said something

“Y/n? If I can sit on your chair, you could sit in my lap?” He asked while he looked bored at himself in the mirror.

“yeah sure, but you have to behave yourself because I really need to get this done” she said. Draco sat down and pulled y/n in his lap, everything went well until Draco started nipping and sucking on her neck.

“Dray, as much as I love you...you have to stop” he looked at her and hugged her so tight he even got scared to break her perfectly tiny body.

“Sorry love, I just want to be close to you that’s all... had a rough day.” Y/n looked back at her boyfriend and felt quite bad for being so focused on her homework instead of him. But she got an idea!

“I can cockwarm you if you’d like to?” She asked him and his silvery stormy eyes lit up

“Yes, I’d like that thank you” he tried to sound calm but his voice betrayed him.

Y/n chuckled a little when she felt him get hard immediately underneath her. She stood up and took of her underwear so that she only wore a skirt and a black polo shirt. She undid Draco’s pants and lined his now erected cock up by her entrance. She sunk down in his cock and she let out a small groan at the size. Draco did the same, he loved how her velvety walls felt around him…

“Okay, now. Don’t disturb me to much okay love?” She said when they both settled and sat comfortably. Draco felt calm…but he wanted-no, needed more......

—————————————————————-

THERE YA GO LOVES <3

Let me know if any of you actually read all of them! I rewrote a couple of my old fics into this one too!

#sage speaks #draco malfoy smut #draco fanfiction #draco lucius malfoy #draco malfoy fic #draco malfoy imagine #draco x reader #draco smut #draco x y/n #draco fluff #1k special #fieldofsecretss1k

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jmdbjk · 1 year

Text

Oh, Jimin...

These are my personal impressions, thoughts, interpretations and opinions on Jimin’s solo FACE album. Some of the things I say here are built on things I know from past original content, interviews and what Jimin has shared personally. Some of it is just me reveling in my first experience with Jimin’s long awaited album.

It is such a serious album. Jimin said this is the story of what he was feeling, chronologically, 2020-2022, during the pandemic era. At the beginning of 2020, BTS was rising higher than any Korean artist ever had before and then all of a sudden the momentum came to a halt, and there was nothing. Having the life you’ve known suddenly jerked away from you is traumatizing.

Once the king of social media, Jimin almost ceased by the end of 2020 and never went back. “Oh, he just outgrew it.” No, the man was struggling with his issues and not only did he not need to see the extra crap spewed all over social media but he had nothing left to give, nothing left inside.

I noticed how Jimin looked physically back in 2020. He was downright frail y’all. The man was trying to give us what we wanted at the expense of his mental and physical health. That breakdown he had during the ending ments in Memories 2020 was too much. They were all stressed out, but Jimin... those that said he was being over dramatic... the man was struggling with his mental health.

I wrote this last June, 2022 but never posted it:

After Memories 2020 dropped, we’ve heard Jimin say he struggled after everything got canceled. Days upon days that turned into months upon months and more than two years passed before they finally returned to in-person performances. He stated that during isolation and lockdowns he wondered what was the purpose of his life, or that he had lost his purpose.

Jimin’s struggles were most likely much more severe than he let on and he 100% kept it to himself because he didn’t want us to worry about him. That sounded like solo delusional projection but think about Jimin and how he’s behaved in the past...always telling us not to worry. Always saying things to reassure us that he’s happy, he eats well, don’t worry.

There was no working, no performing, their lives and his life changed drastically overnight just like all of ours did. Would we ever get back to normal? What will happen in the future? When will all of this end?

Face-Off

The album opens with a carnival calliope, it was a little jarring and unexpected. The images it conjured in my brain as the notes played were of a worn out circus winding down. It made me think of the big wild circus that WAS his life, and it just wound down and keeled over.

Knowing the premise of the album, I think the title, Face-Off, implies Jimin is looking at himself. Speaking to himself. The lyrics could also imply he is speaking to someone else, like people he once trusted. But I don’t think so.

He was having a confrontation with himself. Reasoning and bargaining with himself.

Maybe he once trusted himself but in this time and place in which he finds himself, he questions what is he doing? and second guessing himself. Day in and day out, the days are all the same nothingness. Hiding his feelings, faking it, pretending it was all ok. It’s all cool. It’ll be all right. He has said many times he looks back at that time and thinks he could have done more for the fans. Being hard on himself. His own worst critic.

And then this enters the picture: using alcohol to self-medicate. Getting drunk. Numbing the pain. Forgetting. Drink all night. Oh, Jimin...

We know he has a very high alcohol tolerance. He once mentioned that he used to drink a lot. When he declined the champagne during the live after the Busan concert, we all made jokes about it and moved on. Oh, Jimin.

Face-Off feels like it could have been a purging song when he wrote it. A little primal, you know... just scream, get it out. Painful but cathartic.

This is the lyric that was scary: “tonight is a beautiful night, I think I’m close (or I think I have it all/I think I’ve found myself)” were chilling to me because they did not come across as optimistic, they came across as being at the end of one’s rope after becoming a shell of a person. He follows that line with “tonight I don’t want to be sober.” Oh, Jimin.

His vocals open very low and moody then transition to a plaintive cry, punctuated with anger.

Pour it down, pour it out... the anger, the emotions, the words, just pour it out.

Interlude: Dive

Like the calliope that sadly wound down, Dive opens with the melody slowly winding back up to speed. Another day starting. Someone knocks, voices, the ambience of a normal day, breathing, running footsteps. The crowd cheering and Jimin’s voice during his ending ments at the Busan concert, more sounds of people in his life. We hear Jimin’s footsteps trudging, it sounds like we hear him climbing steps, entering his house, closing the door, and first thing he does when he is alone in the quiet is pour a drink and drinking deeply. I am concerned.

Maybe it is supposed to represent the closing of Chapter 1, about a day in the past that was once a “normal” day, since it included the last things he said during that concert.

The music track is dreamlike, repetitive. Living in a dream. Every day. Same thing. Go home. Drink. Do it again. Dive means go deep. In deep. He’s in deep.

There is a very subtle line between drinking in order to make it through another day/night versus drinking to relax and wind down. A slippery slope to walk on every single day.

We’ve transitioned from the world changing overnight to living in a daze trying to pretend everything is ok. Coping.

Like Crazy

(I am going to express my thoughts using the English version of the song.)

Jimin has explained the song is influenced by the movie of the same name.

I have learned that the dialogue from the movie was NOT original to the movie but hired voice actors specifically for the song: “I think we can last forever.” “I’m afraid that everything will disappear.” “Just trust me.” And at the end: “How long again?” “What’s the point?”

He has said the dialogue that was used fit the message of the song. I have not seen the movie. I don’t think the song is a literal interpretation of the movie. I think the song’s basic concept is the emotional struggle trying to maintain a dream. But maintaining a dream is unrealistic no matter what you do to try to make it last. Jimin had to come to terms with that.

Jimin’s vocals begin very light and airy, very dreamy.

[God, he’s fine.]

The vibe of the song is sort of retro, very much evokes the artist, The Weeknd. It has a very 80′s synth beat. It is a very danceable song. Like I said, on the surface.... very dreamy.

Vocals transition and it still seems like he’s having a conversation with himself, or with a voice within himself. A voice telling him to “trust me, follow me... I will make it good for you.” Me: gives a side eye to that voice in Jimin’s head because now I know it’s not trustworthy. “I’ll take the pressure off, been reaching for the stars.” Chasing that high. Go easy, Jimin. Please be careful.

Yes, the lyrics are also very sexy... “give me a good ride,” and “Let me have a taste.” Yep, I’m with ya on all that... ahem...

[Wow]

[side note: I love the make up in the bathroom scene with that stroke of silver under his eye.]

“All my reflections, I can’t even recognize.” ...what he sees of himself is not reality. He doesn’t recognize himself. Don’t try to save me. I want to stay like this.

To me, the mud on the floor, the mud flowing down the walls, the mud on the hand that grabs his wrist at the beginning of the song, the mud on his hand at the end... could represent his perceived imperfections, flawed, therefore dirty: his struggle to cope, his less than perfect thoughts... substance abuse... the struggle that he needs to be perfect on the outside or the attempt to appear perfect on the outside but there’s all this dirt on the inside that he can’t hide any longer.....the huge pile of mud at his feet is out of place in the otherwise normal room of his life. Becoming overwhelming for him.

Some of the visuals of this song are, to put it bluntly, very, not heterosexual. Again, these are just my impressions and opinions. But a friend pointed out the photo on the front of his pants and I went looking for information about the art photographer, Robert Mapplethorpe. He was heavily involved in New York’s gay BDSM scene. Some of the things written about him:

“In a rapidly changing society, he fearlessly confronted taboos surrounding gender, sexuality and mortality, seeking to instill beauty and dignity into subjects that lay outside accepted social norms.”

“... a man who consistently brought his audience face to face with the unknown and the unseen.”

The song ends with him reaching toward the camera to smear it with the mud to hide his imperfect self. When Jimin puts his face in front of the camera, he doesn’t want us to see his imperfections. He wants to be as perfect as he can, he says it all the time, he wants to look pretty for us, but I hope he has realized we accept him as a real human being even with his very human imperfections.

Alone

The alarm clock goes off...yet another day...doesn’t trust the people even if they are nice to him...he’s lost...day in day out... passing out drunk and not remembering...what am I doing? am I the only one feeling like this? Alone, pretending to be ok...every day the same...how much more until I can go back to before? Feeling more and more isolated within his own mind, pretending to be ok but losing himself every day. Mayday. The cry for help. Telling himself it will be all right (we all told ourselves this back then). The small nagging voice that doesn’t believe it.

Realizing you’ve changed and you are never going back to the way you were before.

Not gonna lie, that line right there broke my heart. Gives new meaning to Set Me Free Pt. 2′s line: "raise your hands for the past me.”

He was in so much trouble and no one knew. He reassured us over and over that he was fine. Not to be over-dramatic but I don’t want to think about how close he was... I have seen a few people say this song really resonated with them. It is a very powerful cry for help.

Jimin’s vocals blew me away. The vocals start out very subdued, almost beaten down. His vocal fry squeezes my heart. He ends crying out “what do I have to do to end this darkness?” Bad twilight. Night’s can be hard.

Set Me Free Pt. 2

From my post on March 17, 2023:

Going insane to stay sane. Raise your hands for the past me. Now set me free. This is where I literally cried. Oh, Jimin.

Going crazy trying to fake being ok.

Now I know this song is about him saving himself, setting himself free from this prison he was in, the depression, breaking the chains of alcohol dependency, of telling the naysayers out there and his own internal naysayer to go fuck themselves, Park Jimin is back. Strong and beautiful and fierce. The light of the moon shining on us.

We know he still considers soju his joy. He sounds like he’s taken control, not totally abstaining, but in control. I only wish the rest of his days are happiness and stable mental health well-being.

Letter

So unexpected. I was in shock. My heart floated away.

People talk about how Jimin’s album has no collabs on it, unlike the previous member’s solo work. My opinion is, when you are sharing deeply intimate feelings and emotions and struggles about yourself you don’t want or need other people/voices on your song. It’s not appropriate.

The only exception to this was… Jungkook…not exactly a collab, but he’s there. The other songs used background vocalists who are not members of BTS.

This song was hidden. Yes, there have been other hidden songs. But come on...

Letter has a strong stroke of Promise in the “oh, oh.” And when Jungkook starts singing it is like the world is set right because those two voices blend like nothing else I’ve ever heard. And he comes in in the middle of the song gently supporting Jimin’s vocals. But unmistakably Jungkook. I know it’s up to interpretation, but for me, the lyrics from then on take on something a little extra in meaning with Jungkook there singing with Jimin.

You held your hand out to me and now I will hold on to you. So simple and beautiful. The sounds of the surf remind me of the song “Okinawa” that Jimin posted once. Which also reminds me of their pics at Santa Monica beach...

Letter seems to be an actual letter. When the members told him to write it down, put it in a song, maybe Jimin’s first impulse was to write it as if it was a letter. The lyrics are simple and very to the point and convey:

“...though I’m not good with words, I want to sincerely say let’s make each other happier. You who showed me I am bigger than my small self. You've been by my side and I will be by yours. I hope we stay together until the cold winter. Though the future is unknown and scary, let’s stay together. Never forget we’re together.”

There are references to past songs: Sea, Spring Day. Both of those songs were from 2017.

But Jungkook. On a Jimin song. That was hidden. Clever. That we had no idea about...even though Kookie knocked us over the head with it when he played the guitar for us, making sure we knew he’d only had one lesson. Who do you think gave him that first guitar lesson? Jimin... and Kookie blurting out some English in his last live... who do you think he’s been practicing English with? Duh, Jimin.

It was a hidden song AND the credits were hidden on the page in the book. They were printed in varnish only, which is basically shiny, clear ink.

You know what I think? Jungkook knew about this song since Festa dinner. The teasing about not being offered the chance to listen to the song. That little shit. I KNOW IT WAS THIS SONG!! I JUST KNOW IT!! This was the rumored subunit. Or at least one of them. I guess we’ll eventually see if there are any more between the others.

They sound so beautiful together. I love them. And as I keep saying, they are fine… they’ve been fine.

Last words...

Anyway, that was a lot of words. Maybe I got too deep. Jimin explained himself about how the album originated.

As I was telling my friend earlier...everything in this album has peeled a layer, or several layers, away from EVERYTHING I've seen and heard from Jimin and the group since 2020. I had written some things in the past, like last June and even before that, about how Jimin seemed not well mentally. Things that I had no business saying in public because who the hell am I to think I can say something like that about someone I have never met? So I never posted those words. I never thought I would be so close to the mark in thinking those things. He’s been through it, wrote songs about it, and moved on. And I am so proud of him and this album.

#jimin face #face-off #like crazy #i'm so proud of jimin #if they were trying to quash any ships this was not the way to go about it #i said that after hickey-gate too #also jikook #did i mention i am so proud of jimin?#and kookie is so funny

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