#It's his personal connections and the status his body achieved that gives him the power | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

matan4il · 2 months

Text

Man Suang review

Spoilers! (obviously. Also, this was written after watching the movie just once, to give my opinion as "raw" as possible)

This may seem like a weird spot to start, but I feel like I really can't review this movie properly, without pointing out that it's Moulin Rouge, except set in another country AND another genre. The latter gives it a very different feel (to a great degree, due to tone as well, MS is a serious movie, while MR, even while it does want you to care, doesn't take itself too seriously), but the basic structure of the two movies is too similar, so I have to start there.

In both cases, the movie revolves around (and gets its title from) an entertainment center, which is beautiful and alluring, but also serves as a stage for some of the uglier sides of human urges. This entertainment institution houses performers of low social status, who often also must prostitute themselves to the rich and powerful people who frequent the place. And while the whoring is pretty much built in, and no one bats an eye at it, this setting also allows for some murderous intents to surface. The plot is centered around an exceptionally beautiful and talented, lowborn entertainer, who must sell their body to get by, having aspirations to get a better life through this, and the seemingly simple guy, who is a part of their social circle at this entertainment place, who has his own aspirations, and is not as lowly, which is why he doesn't have to stoop as low as prostitution, and can offer something different. Despite the connection between them, they're both trapped in plots bigger than them, set into motion before they even met, and they have to struggle to find their way amidst all this intrigue, which moves them almost like they were pawns. By the end of the movie, there will be betrayal between the two, but also repentance, and an act of choosing each other over their initial ideal, allowing them to make decisions that are "righter" than they would have, had they not met, and ones that give them more freedom than had they simply served the initial goal they were supposed to. Through that, they gain more freedom and agency. Yet despite that, they don't end the movie being together.

Now, why do I bring this comparison up? Because while MR doesn't take itself seriously, like I said, it does want the viewer to care, and it achieves this by recognizing that they can make a mess of genres, of reality vs hallucination (hello Kylie Minogue as the Green Fairy), of time periods (soundtrack and props that have nothing to do with the year 1900), be as camp and over the top as they wanna be, but if the characters and love story are compelling, we'll all still be riveted.

And that's generally true for every movie. At the end of the day, whatever the genre, we watch first and foremost because someone made us care in some way about at least one of the characters or relationships featured in the film. My fave action movie ever works so well, not because its climax scene is so full of fists (in the middle of a lake at night in total darkness, with the very real threat of the good guy being drowned by the bad one), it hits home because this fight will actually be decided by whether the cold-blooded CIA handler, who had to train the good guy, has come to care enough about him, to be able to tell the two men apart even under these circumstances, and shoot the right person (meaning, the bad guy), saving the protagonist and countless others along the way. It's this test of their (BTW, fully platonic) relationship, that makes up the film's real climax.

So, probably my biggest issue with MS is that it seems to lose sight of that too often. It's so focused on telling us this political mystery, that it forgets at the end of the day, we're here for people and how they feel about and react to each other. The heart of the movie is the relationship between Khem (played by Apo), the entertainer forced to whore himself out, and Chat, the one guy who sees him dancing, but doesn't want just Khem's body. The parts that let their relationship breathe and develop are the best in the movie, they're the ones that feel the most authentic, interesting and impactful. They're the emotional anchor of the whole thing, and even though the movie too often neglects them, and doesn't give them enough time, they just work thanks to Mile and Apo's excellent acting, and their outstanding chemistry. Truly, it's once again a testament of how well these two fit as a team, that they're able to achieve so much, when they're giving too little breathing space for the relationship that is, at the end of the day, the very heart of the film.

The cinematography is great, though I'll admit that I was not that into the colors, I usually like vivid colors, but here they were oversaturated in a way that added a certain sense of heaviness and suffocation to my viewing experience. In a sense, it fits. Man Suang is both beautiful and ugly, alluring and repulsive. Still, I think it would have been a better choice to add the unnatural oversaturation as the ugliness unfolds. First let the viewers be seduced by the beautiful imagery and colors, only then hit them with the ugliness that all of the glitter hides. But then, the movie actually hits us with the ugly bits, with prostitution and murder, in the exposition already. Which makes me think the whole movie could have benefited from a more gradual unfolding of those parts of the entertainment world we're introduced to. Still, I will say that the parts where Khem and Chat get to know each other better, in the market, flying a kite in the field and chatting while climbed up on a tree, they don't have that oversaturation, they get to enjoy more natural lighting, and it gives these scenes a lighter feeling, which does fit. They do seem less burdened in those moments than throughout most of the film. And then the issue with this goes back to... there's just not enough of these scenes, to really give this contrast its own gravitas.

There are scenes which are redundant, they should have been cut out, like when we learn how Tubtim prefers being a whore at Man Suang than outside it. Not that her short monologue isn't touching, but let's be honest, she's not an actual character. She's a plot device, this short scene is only included to set up her change of heart, when she decides to tell Khem the truth, instead of lying. But since this doesn't give her enough depth or her own agency to become a character in her own right, and since she explains her decision to Khem anyway, it's just a waste of time, and it comes at the expense of developing the more emotionally crucial parts of the movie.

And it's not like the movie doesn't know where its emotional weight is. For example, the film's emotional climax, the moment where tensions run highest, is without a doubt the confrontation between Khem and Chat, when they accuse each other of choosing themselves and being willing to sacrifice the other one to do it. It's an effective moment, but I think it would have been so much more powerful, if we got to spend more time seeing Chat and Khem becoming increasingly more important to each other.

For that matter, the real resolution in the movie isn't to the supposed mystery of who has the secret documents and how to get them. It's the resolution of what to do with them, which is where Chat and Khem had clashed. Chat needs the documents destroyed so he and his family won't be punished (possibly killed) for his father's crime. Khem needs the documents delivered to the authorities so that he and his friend won't be punished (possibly killed) for a murder they were framed for. The real resolution of the story is when Khem chooses to burn the documents, so Chat and his family will be safe, and after he leaves, Chat saves them from the flames, and has them delivered, securing Khem's life and reward.

I really liked this part, and again, it felt lighter than the rest of the movie, giving a real sense of relief (visually as well, as there's less oversaturation, and both guys change into nicer outfits, with brighter patches of color). I also enjoyed the more complex POV they offer by the end. They both didn't want the life they were born into. Khem didn't like being of a low socio-economic status, being dependent on the good will of others. Chat didn't want to be a civil servant like his dad. As the movie ends, Khem chooses to stay at Man Suang, turning down the social mobility reward Chat was able to secure for him, while Chatra accepts a position serving his country. Seemingly, they both had to accept their predestined fate. But the fact that they get to choose it now, makes a difference. They see the good they can do, and they're not deprived of humanizing agency. The delivery of this in their dialogues is also quite lovely, with Khem talking about how each type of boat is made for very specific conditions that it must sail, while Chat brings up the fact that now, there are new types of ship, which can defy expectations, and sail in any conditions. They're both right, and they complete each other in describing the place that they ended up in. And the mutual parting, as they both "entrust" something to the care of the other, does reflect their bond.

Still, all of this would have been even more poignant, if this relationship had been given more space. As is, I feel like I even have to guess to a degree why they do care about each other, and why they do end up choosing the other's best interest over their own.

It's a bit clearer with Khem. We see him being exploited for sex, because of his beauty and grace, instead of being seen and appreciated for his talent and hard work. Chat is different. He helps Khem more than once without asking for anything in return, and Chatra also compliments him on his performance. Other than him, there's only one person who seems not to want anything from Khem, his long time friend Wan, but even he ends up betraying and being willing to kill Khem, when Wan doesn't get what he wants from his friend (revenge against all Chinese people). Once more, Chat is different. Yes, he points his revolver at Khem, but he doesn't pull the trigger, he doesn't use the leverage he has in order to force Khem to do what benefits Chat. Instead, he puts down the revolver, and tries to explain himself and his attempt to save his family.

What makes Chat like Khem? I find that a bit harder to answer, though there's a clear and real interest there, which goes beyond Chat's secret mission with the documents. He saves Khem from being discovered during their first meeting, and doesn't ask for anything in return. Chat pays attention to Khem at rehearsals, to his dancing, to his tendency of getting into trouble when not backing down at the face of bullying or injustice... So we can assume Chatra likes all of that. And then he does explicitly express his interest, when he admits to Khem he wanted them to spend that time together at the market.

Which I guess brings me to the question of... okay, so is this a love story? Their relationship is obviously vital to the story, but is it a romantic one? The movie seems to wanna leave it open to interpretation. Maybe it's my hopeless romantic streak, I do wanna see it as a love story. I think there are some hints for that. The mutual interest and liking, even at the stage when they've barely spoken to each other, the way they end up choosing each other even at the possible cost of their own life, the explicit admission from Chat that he was looking to spend time with Khem at the market even when it didn't appear to have anything to do with his secret mission, the way Chat's admission seems to not only make Khem happy, he looks shaken up, there's the kite flying scene, which is played for laughs (flying a kite is apparently Thai slang for jerking off), but still, it's a choice that the movie made, to add a layer of sexual tension there. And then there's the scene where they're trying to figure out who's the woman in red if no one was wearing red on the night they're investigating. Chat steps into the spot where the woman had been, his shirt white, and red light is projected over him. Khem stands in front of him, and they stare at each other for a moment. To me, it serves a double purpose. One is that Khem realizes Chat just handed him the solution to that part of the mystery. The other is that films often illuminate characters in red to show lust and even love. So this might also be a moment when it hits Khem that his feelings for Chat, who's been helping him, who he trusts, run deeper than he realized.

I do think Man Suang would have been braver and better if it had openly gone with the romantic interpretation. It's not just me being an incurable romantic. I also think that, much like in MR, the relationship that changes the course of the two main characters has to be a really strong one, enough for one to decide to give up his life for the other. I'm not sure that friendship quite cuts it, especially when this relationship didn't have that much time to develop (def not enough screen time, but also not enough in-story time). Was love between two men back then a simple thing to admit to? Of course not. But men did fall in love, and even acted on it. I'm not talking here full blown sex. But enough that the audience would know for sure what they feel for each other. On a local TV show, I was reminded that when the small fingers of two people, who are forbidden from any physical connect, do touch, even briefly... something that small and fleeting can still be a confession of deep love and yearning.

Another thing I wish they'd done is make more use of the unspoken tension created by one man dancing to the beat struck by another one. This was so present and delicious in the first teaser released for Mileapo's movie (before it even had a name and a script), I wish they had retained that. It's somewhat present (Khem says he danced so well, thanks to the beat Chat set for him, and then in the scene exposing Tiang, it's Chat's change in drumming that sets the stage for Khem revealing the treason through dance and song), but could have been used so much more. The play between real life and art, the connectedness or contrast between the two men when they're on the same page versus when they're not... There's so much potential for non-verbal drama, and they captured it beautifully in that teaser, so why is it almost non-existent in the film?

I also... I know that the movie is set in the 19th century, and I don't expect 21st century tolerance to be projected back onto it, but I find it hard to ignore that we have one character spew homophobic shit, Khem denying having had sex with another man, basically agreeing it's wrong, and at the same time, men exploiting other men sexually is not looked away from, it's very explicit and built into Khem's story. Each one of these things can be true in its way (there was homophobia, people did have to go with it, there was male on male exploitation alongside this homophobia), but when every explicit thing in this context is negative, while the one positive (the possible love story between Chat and Khem) remains implicit and optional at best, it feels like it unintentionally leans into the homophobic narrative. Take Brokeback Mountain for example. The environment in that movie is highly homophobic, prejudiced, rude and even violent about it. And while Jack and Ennis had a lifelong love story, they couldn't actually live it out in the open because of said homophobia. Ennis in particular would rather punch a guy, than admit Jack was the love of his life. And still, we got to see their love, we got to see that even with all of the societal hardships, it brought them warmth and comfort, and was a reason to risk a lot, even for Ennis, who was so acutely aware of the threat to their lives. I like that BBM was honest in depicting Ennis and Jack having sex, but at the end of it, even without those scenes, the love between them was enough of a counterweight, that it never felt like the movie unintentionally reinforced a negative view of what two men can have together. With MS, I feel like a homophobic casual viewer, who won't get that Chat and Khem saved each other through something that might be more than just friendship, could easily have their negative view reaffirmed.

All in all, I enjoyed MS. I loved seeing Mile and Apo acting together again, I missed that, and their chemistry is just as superb as ever. I'm not sure the movie, getting as distracted from the main relationship as it did, would have worked without their unique addition of beautiful acting and chemistry. So, I would recommend it to friends, but I guess I would also really love to see a better paced, edited and re-focused version of it. Shine, Mileapo's show that will follow in the footsteps of MS, might deliver that. I can't wait to see! ^u^

(if you're curious about any of my other Mileapo/Kinnporsche posts, you can find them here)

92 notes · View notes

otherworldsjt · 1 year

Text

Death's Fury Chapter III: SVVL

Thankfully there isn't an assessment during our missions; otherwise, we'd look pretty unprofessional right now.

I looked as if I'd just woken up and after leaving the train station, Trik and I realized we'd gotten off at the wrong stop. We were closer to the center of Atlanta rather than being dropped off near the west, so we had to hoof it the rest of the way.

Lucky for me, I'd brought my trusty compact board along before leaving home. It's a sleek board with energy-absorbing panels on the front end that...well, absorb energy. Then it can release it in controlled amounts of force from either the two fan ports on the bottom for height control or the retractable jet thingy in the back that provides the propulsion. Trust me; it's way cooler than it sounds. My dad whipped it up for me since Primordials aren't as earthbound as humans.

Controlling it's simpler than I initially thought it'd be. Once it's connected to my chip, I feel like there are two levers in my head: one for height and one for power output, so staying in control isn't difficult.

According to my dad, its top speed depends on its rider; with me, it's enough to break the sound barrier. Still, I haven't tried it out yet since he warned me that to achieve that speed, I'd have to be able to infuse my spirit energy into the panels while also maintaining physical enhancement for my body to be able to withstand the g-force, drag, and impact from any unlucky bugs.

Now, I'm proficient in controlling my spirit energy or enhancing my body with it, but multitasking isn't really my strong suit, so I decided it'd be best to hold off on that for now.

We had to cruise along the sidewalks since cities are considered no-fly zones for all aircraft. After about 30 minutes, Trik started complaining about being hungry, so we stopped by a nearby deli restaurant. Immediately after entering, my mouth began to salivate at the scent of food.

It hadn't occurred to me until then that it'd been over 24 hours since I last ate, and, at the moment, I was ready to eat the entire restaurant's supply.

We both ended up ordering nearly half the menu before finally being satiated. I finished before Trik and watched him devour every piece of food on his plate – even the bones.

Not sure I understand how he eats or how he digests food exactly, but it appears as if he puts the food into his mouth, and the food is then broken down into energy for him somehow.

Usually, when I ask him about it, he takes it personally and gives me vague responses that don't really answer the question. So, this time I asked something else I've been curious about – why does he eat the bones?

He says his body gets fuel from all the food, wasting nothing. He followed with a low comment about humans being incapable of assimilating what he refers to as the best parts of food—bit of a superior complex there.

When the bill came, to no surprise, it racked up to a pricey amount. It wasn't a problem, though; we still had plenty of money from our weekend in Las Vegas back in April. It was the most amount of fun I'd had, and now that I think about it, the luckiest we'd been since beginning the mission.

We'd agreed only to spend the money on food since we'll be traveling too often to buy something like a house or car. Besides, if all Primordials can fly and Death can teleport (pretty sure I read that he could somewhere), then what's the point in buying a car anyways?

After leaving the restaurant, we continued west and passed a martial arts stadium where experienced men and women battle each other while masterfully controlling their "chi." The poster outside had a man with an EQN of 837 facing off against a woman with an EQN of 841.

By the way, EQN are energy quantity numbers that's an essential factor in today's society. It can cement one's status almost as much as money does. Decades ago, the global corporation, TekTra, invented sensory devices called energy quantifiers that, when held, can measure how much spirit energy someone has. Now SVVL centers use them to determine a contestant's position and capabilities.

Considering the average human has an EQN between 500 and 600, I found it interesting to see a non-Watcher that close to 1,000.

We decided to take a peek inside. I used the compact board to float to the top of the stadium, where the ceiling was opened, and we saw thousands of people sitting in arranged seats with poly glass lined between each row. They were all cheering at the fight being displayed on giant projection screens. The actual battle was happening 80 feet below in the center of the arena.

I channeled some of my spirit energy to my eyes, enhancing my vision. It's a secret skill called omni-vision that most Watchers and Primordials use. I try not to do it around others since it causes the iris to glow the same color as my spirit energy; though, it happens instinctively when I'm on alert.

Like this, my vision not only gets enhanced, but it also makes other's spirit energy perceptible. I could see the match well now, and I gotta admit, they were pretty good. I've never seen anyone other than Watchers who could manipulate their spirit energy that well.

Standing inside a ring the size of half a basketball court was a burly man in his early 30s,from what I could tell. Probably 6'2", 6'3" maybe, and easily 250 pounds of bulking muscle. He was shirtless, wore green gym shorts that were a little too tight, white bandages wrapped around his fists, and his spirit energy radiated from him with an assertive orange flow. My guess was close quarters combat was his specialty.

On the other hand, his opponent was a woman, I'm guessing in her late 20s, who was dressed in a purple sparring outfit with her midriff exposed, revealing a very well-toned stomach. The material appeared light and Egyptian, with a slightly thicker hood and mask that only showed her eyes. Her weapon of choice was a polearm of some kind with a blade at its end, with her calm, blue energy imbued within it, so her specialty was probably mid-range combat.

By the way, just in case things are different in your time and you're wondering why anyone would let a master of polearms use a deadly weapon against someone fighting with his fists...the answer is overpopulation.

Remember how I said people weren't dying for two centuries? Well, new babies were still being born every day, and the planet started to feel it over time. Within 50 years, worldwide panic ensued after the human population reached an all-time high of 12 billion. To solve the apparent problems presented, every country came up with its own ways of trimming its numbers.

For example, some created these Spartan-like battle expeditions, and tried creating events using kid games with a death principle. But, with both ideas, people weren't dying; they'd just get back up, so they implemented a way to indefinitely "hold" those who should have died.

America came up with a similar approach by creating a martial arts tournament system named SVVL (get it?), where participants would sign a contract stating they'd relinquish their life in the event they lost.

Following their consent, participants would compete in a city tournament, where the champion would then be entered into the state tournament. The state champion would then be entered into a country-wide tournament. Those who lost were held indefinitely until scientists could figure out how to get people to die again.

What made people sign up was the reward system the government created. For city tournaments, the families of volunteers received $50,000. They received an extra $10,000 for every tenth consecutive win, and the overall tournament winner would receive $500,000.

During state tournaments, contestants no longer received pay for consecutive wins, but the champion would receive $10,000,000, and the country-wide champion received $100,000,000. Taxed, of course.

Combine that with Greed's influence on humans, him spreading the principles of spirit manipulation, and the match rules permitting any weapon excluding firearms. You have millions who felt invincible enough to win the prize.

After that, America's consuming population declined dramatically, resulting in other countries creating tournament systems of their own. Over the following century-and-a-half, consuming populations fell, with the only issue being where to keep all the people being held.

Thankfully that hasn't been an issue since Death's resurfacing, so space has been slowly increasing while the population continues to decrease.

Anyways, that's why I am currently watching a seemingly unfair fight between a polearms master and a hand-to-hand combatant.

To most of the audience, the fight most likely just seemed like an exchange of blows between a nimble woman and a solid man. But, to those few like me, who could see and sense spirit energy, it was clearly a fray between two masters.

The giant man was slow but durable. He'd focus his spirit energy into his fists to parry strikes from her weapon unscathed, then quickly spread it throughout his arms right before making contact during his counter strikes. That way he could increase the strength of his attacks without wasting energy.

The woman, though smaller, was able to withstand the devastating force from each strike by concentrating her spirit energy on her feet and calves while simultaneously spreading some to the points of the polearm that contacted his fists. After gaining some distance, she focused more on her legs and began to attack with so much speed and agility that the guy's only option was to spread his spirit energy throughout his entire body to protect himself.

Unfortunately, not only would that quickly eat away at his strength and leave him exhausted, but due to not having a large spirit reserve to begin with, spreading it throughout his entire body only gave him a thin layer of protection.

As the man guarded against the onslaught, the hardened spirit energy protecting him began to crack.

In a desperate attempt to stop the woman, the man slams the floor beneath them, causing it to shake and throw the woman off balance.

In one, swift movement the man punches the woman in the stomach while she'd off balance. The man then grabs her polearm with one arm and her neck with the other and slams her into the ground as he chokes her.

As the man grins in self-satisfaction the woman, struggling under his strength, reaches for her polearm in the man's other hand.

Gripping the end of it, she twists it causing imbedded blades to eject through the mans hand that was gripping the polearm.

As the man let go of the polearm the woman slashes the blade across his face, causing him to wail in pain. The woman takes this opportunity to coat her legs with her energy again and speed around the ring.

It would've been easy to determine the winner at that point, but I noticed the woman's spirit energy had begun to diminish fast. The energy consumption rate for maintaining that speed is high – way more than she could handle.

Both fighters must've realized they were nearing their limits and decided to put everything they had into their next attack.

�� The woman sped around the ring and flanked him from behind; then, midway, she leaped forward while placing her remaining spirit energy into the tip of the blade on her polearm – most likely with the expectation he'd continue to shield his entire body – but the man, instead, focused and charged his right arm with the remainder of his spirit energy. Then, whirling around towards the woman, he swung his arm in an arc, directly clashing with the woman's blade.

The force from their attacks impacting each other created a shockwave that shook the stadium, and it was at that moment, I grasped the purpose of the poly glass down in the audience.

Sadly, being an illegal observant of this fight and completely ignorant of its customs, I had no such protection from the shockwave.

The blast blew me backward off the roof over an 80-foot drop, but luckily, Trik and I have quick reflexes. Trik caught me underneath my arms and flew upwards to slow the fall while I focused my spirit energy on my legs.

As I watched the dim, aqua-colored aura enveloping my legs become denser, I felt the familiar sensation of power seep through my skin.

At first, it spread with an intense heat through every fiber of muscle within my legs, strengthening them before finally settling on the bones with a solidifying coolness that reached the marrow.

With my legs now reinforced, and the ground about 40 feet below me, I told Trik to let go and landed on the ground below me. Let me just say that landing on solid concrete is not as easy or as painless as TV makes it look. Even with my legs reinforced, I felt some of the impact around my knees. Next time I'll remember to roll instead of trying to look cool.

Still reeling over the fight I had just witnessed, I couldn't help but think about how different things are from what was taught during my training.

I mean, yeah, I already knew that nowadays, most people are aware of their spirit energy since Greed revealed it, but even then, I would have never imagined anyone other than Watchers gaining that kind of skill.

Hell, the guys back in Charlotte didn't have nearly that level of control over their spirit energy. They could only muster a thin coating around a fist.

Truth be told, I wasn't even aware of SVVL becoming more of a competition for professional spirit masters until now. I guess all the weaklings were weeded out since people started dying again.

I would've continued my astonishment, but Trik mentioned it being preferable to meet Death before dark, and it was already 3:50 pm, so we continued west.

After about 30 minutes, we had finally left the city of Atlanta and were in an area surrounded by dirt roads, grasslands, and trees, so I used the opportunity to get some airtime on my board. In less than a minute, we were cruising through the sky at 300mph – me on my board and Trik flying next to me.

#anime and manga #superpowers #supernatural #fantasy novel #fantasy

0 notes

mrpenguinpants · 3 years

Text

Genshin: University AU [V1]

I love modern au. Or any “everything is fine, no one died, it’s just a fever dream” au. Half of me is thinking, damn maybe I should answer this serious- LOL HAHA no. That’s not happening. Time to crack my knuckles and let my brainworms take over again.

Once again, this is 90% crack 10% content. I want to switch up my characters from the last brainworm post but I included Kaeya and Diluc.

---

Today’s appreciation post goes to twistedwishes. Hey! I’ve been seeing you pop up a lot lately and thanks for the support 💕💕 I hope things are going better for you and you’re doing alright^^ I feel kinda bad for making appreciation posts on crack fics but hopefully this is somewhat funny haha.

---

Genshin: Holding Hands [V1]

Genshin: When you’re cold [V1]

Genshin: Roommate [V1]

Genshin: Royalty AU [V1]

[Masterlist]

---

[taglist] <- if you want to be added, please read this first.

@mikeysbike @hanniejji@unionwitch @musekala @twistedsunnshiii @stanzastic @akaasea @xoneaboveallx @adoring-ghost @asheseiler @childelover @dilucsz @dai-tsukki-desu @thicmitten @youaskedfurret @diaxfeliz @wintergreen-aix @dandelily @thegayrubberducky @lovelykittycatmeow @yuunoagivesmelife @dokidokisama @simpygrimoire @minakohasmanyhusbandos @strwbrry-lia @tigerpriestess @yuu-yuukurotsuki

---

Diluc

Absolute pretty boy who has braincells, but only if Kaeya is not there. In his mind, Kaeya’s presence makes his room loose 40% of their common sense. He can’t prove it just yet but he’s working on it. He majors in accounting but also has a minor in marketing, logistics’ management, fia- he majors everything business related. He’s going to become the next Elon Musk through smarts or by getting the competition drunk. There can be no contest if he’s the only candidate. He’s actually a hard working guy that overworks and stresses way too much. You have daily “Diluc recharge” evenings where he just hangs onto you while you go through your day.

“Don’t fucking talk to me until I’ve had my coffee,” except there is no coffee - he drinks grape juice out of juice boxes and his only energy boost is when he meets up with you - and that’s his constant mood. So he usually only hangs around you and Jean, since she has childhood friend status and is actually an angel. By default, Lisa is added and Diluc doesn’t mind her but if he see’s Kaeya, it’s full on war paint mode. If he's not busy with work or studies, he's usually with you either in your dorm or his apartment.

He has a fanclub and he seriously hates it and tries to do everything in his power to get Ningguang to take it down. Shouldn’t this be against his rights? But she refuses for whatever reason and makes a whole speech about free will. No matter what he does, someone manages to take a picture and it get’s printed in the university’s newspaper. The only bonding time he has with Kaeya is every Monday, where they collect and burn all the universities newspapers before anyone can get their hands on it. You always bring marshmallows to make smores during their arson activities.

“When I graduate I’m going to burn this school down to the ground. That’s not a threat it’s a promise.”

Ningguang

Is secretly the leader of the Diluc fanclub - not that she likes Diluc, she’s in a questionable platonic poly marriage with you and Beidou - but it was the easiest way to gain funds for the student council. Which she is the president of, so rip Diluc the fanclub stays. Ruthless business woman I tell you. But she can run in heels so her danger factor rises by at least 20%.

Majors in social sciences and law but more specifically the political science & government. She saw the Imperial State Crown that the Queen of England wears and says yes, that’s mine now. If she’s not with Beidou and you planning on “how to infiltrate the state government just for lols”, then she’s with Keqing, Ganyu, and Zhongli discussing student council things. Should they or should they not tell the student body that they can see everyone’s search results? Sit back and relax as the school goes into chaos.

She’s probably the scariest person on campus No, she is the scariest person on campus. She’s the scariest person on campus. But secretly she’s popping 20 aspirins just to make it through a night. She has the digestive system of steel. She still holds the title of "seriously do not try and beat her in a drinking game it's never going to happen" and that's her proudest achievement in life but sadly she can’t put it on her resume. Kaeya is still trying to beat her out of spite but so far it hasn't been working. You’re seriously concerned for her when she get’s challenged but Beidou gives you a way-to-hard slap on the back and cheers her on. If Ninngguang somehow get’s alcohol poisonings she’ll somehow find away to make a profit out of it.

"I'll let him die, I'll get the insurance money."

Kaeya

One day he chugged too much mouth wash, passed out, and somehow woke up in university majoring in law. His idea is that if he is apart of the law, he can therefore stand above it. To be fair, his only goal in life is to say “I am the manager” and he can go live the rest of his life in bliss or as a hermit. He’s secret best friends with you but wouldn't be caught dead beside you. He will stab a bitch if you ever get hurt but will still trip you on the way home. Seriously, you have no idea why people find him attractive. Your guess is it’s the eye patch or the clap of his ass cheeks that keeps alerting everyone.

He’s apart of the newspaper club and if anyone asks: No, he has no idea who keeps taking all the newspapers and burns them in the back of the campus. Originally, he joined because he was nosy and needed to join some type of club for his resume. He sometimes feels bad for his junior assistant Amber because he keeps tricking her and says that Diluc is secretly a demon that is trying to steal all the jobs and is apart of the lizard government hell bent on eradicating the human race. He even brought out a whiteboard for this joke, he’s dedicated to his job ok?

The type of guy to try and be humble and say his work is “okay” but will choke a bitch if anyone agrees. He tends to leave everything last minute and says that it’s his drug since actual drugs could land you one year in prison and a maximum penalty of $2,000. You have to awkwardly hold in your concerned mother head shake when you see him speed running his assignment literally right when the professor is walking around to check if students finished.

“I was taught how to lead not to read.”

Mona

Broke wallet #2. Zhongli is broke wallet #1 but Childe simps for him so is he really a broke wallet at this point? In this essay, I Mona Megistus, will explain why I have the rights to the title “Broke Wallet #1″...

Believes that astrology should be an actual career path but refuses to take astronomy as her major. I can read the stars not a textbook that tells me how to calculate the mass of the sun divided by the fucks I give. Instead she went into Philosophy and cries to Albedo, who is an actual prodigy genius- sir lend some braincells to everyone else please?, that her professor keep turning her paper down because “star reading” is not an academic source.

Fischl wants her to join the occult club because, surprisingly, Mona is very good at telling people’s fates through her crayon sketch ouija board. She thinks first year Fischl is cute but is put off by the cosplay roleplay that she has going on. She would join except that stupid hat wearing gremlin in her lit class would make fun of her if he found out.

You gave her half your lunch one day and bought her a doughnut "because she seemed upset" and "out of the goodness of your heart" whatever the hell that means. She thinks you pensioned it but once that thought comes she takes a bite. Poison from a doughnut is not the worst way to go out, classes are hard enough. She’s waiting for the lord to strike her down anyways.

“Its not about passing, its about doing better than everyone else.”

Venti

Slept through most of highschool and people question how he got into university. He’s a music major (wow how fucking original is that), and if anyone asks him to serenade someone or just do anything, he’ll do it for the right price. Or if you buy him alcohol because he still keeps getting ID checked. He’s banking on Kaeya actually becoming a lawyer or being on good terms with Diluc so he can finally stop being arrested for looking like a toddler.

Takes one step into classes and quickly nopes out and goes back to bed. Professors have no idea how he hasn't dropped out or failed. He just has some god given talent. He does whine at you to pretty pretty please with a cherry on top tutor him because you're such an angel and would never leave your poor but awesome best friend hanging right? He needs to get this essay down but how he is suppose to explain how the number 10 is symbolic and connects to the universe or the meaning of life. Do you think he can just say it’s apart of his culture and make up some random myth to pretend it looks like he knows what he’s doing?

He’s honestly going with the flow and put his brain on the back burner all of highschool and only now realizes wait, I actually have to use my brain?

He’s been banned from most club chats since Venti has the no chill card. Someone says “lol I look ugly today.” and he’ll respond "yup, you look like a cow." and he get’s banned. Zhongli keeps a speed run timer on his phone just to document these occasions.

"Sad spelled backwards is das and das how it be sometimes."

Childe

An actual dumbass that somehow does well. He eats sandwiches with the crust off, this heathen. Surprisingly he’s studying to become a physical therapist but most of his experience has come from breaking his own bones. You’re scared how he's going to be if he actually becomes a therapist. If he'll make bets with his patients or try to one up whatever crazy injury they get into. Everything is a challenge to him that sometimes the best way to deal with Childe is to knock him out.

This man really knows the way to a Zhongli’s woman's heart. Through micro transactions. Mona saw him accidently drop $20 and just shrugged and walked off. She has never been both spiritually and physically offended in her life. She did take the $20 though. As much as you hate leeching on Chile when he’s basically a walking wallet that probably uses bills as tissue paper, you can’t help but give him puppy eyes while planning on how to get into his will. If he even plans on having one, he might honestly write “whoever wins in a gladiator style duel in my funeral’s tournament, they will get my fortune.”.

Any sport the university offers Childe is probably in it. Which is how he met Zhongli, challenged him to a fight, proceeded to have his ass handed to him, got a backhanded compliment, and screamed to you he was in love and how he found his soulmate. He's secretly very sappy and has cried and watched every Disney and Pixar movie at least 28 times.

"IM NOT TOO SPICY! I’M A TINY BIT ABOVE MILD IF ANYTHING!”

---

God if it isn’t Scaramouche, it’s Childe that ruins the aesthetic. This is why I hate you. Why do you people enable me like this, it isn’t even good. This is pretty much a @ yourself moment and I vibe hard with Venti. This entire post was just to make a joke about the clap of Kaeya’s ass cheeks alerting the guards.

This week might slow down since I have classes and assignments. My reply’s are gonna be late too, sorry;; (oh and thank you to everyone that was so supportive and nice when I mentioned it. All of you. Beautiful 💕💕 )

1K notes · View notes

gimme-mor · 3 years

Text

ACOTAR THINK PIECE: ELAIN AND THE CONCEPT OF CHOICE

*DISCLAIMER*

Please take the time to read this post in its entirety and truly reflect on the message I am trying to send before commenting. My goal is to use my background in Gender and Women’s Studies to deconstruct the behaviors and comments I have seen on Tumblr and Twitter, and, more importantly, bring awareness to the ACOTAR fandom. I WILL NOT tolerate anyone who tries to twist my words and say I am attacking people and their personal shipping preferences. In fact, I AM CRITIQUING THE ARGUMENTS THEMSELVES NOT THE PEOPLE USING THE ARGUMENTS.

As someone who has been a long time lurker on all sides of the ACOTAR fandom, the growing toxicity and hostility has become more apparent to the point that civil discourse is, for the most part, entirely lost. More times than not, the cause of the communication breakdown centers around Elain and the relationships she has with those around her. Before and after the release of ACOSF, I’ve noticed that when the fandom expresses its opinions about Elain and her development as a character, whether in a romantic light or generally, the conversation wholly hinges on the concept of choice. Common examples I’ve seen include:

Elain has been stripped of her choice for a majority of her life

Elain should be able to make her own choices

The King of Hybern took away Elain’s choice to be human when he had her tossed into the Cauldron

Elain did not choose the mating bond for herself, instead it was forced upon her

Elain feels pressured to choose Lucien

Elain should have the choice to stray away from what is expected of her

Elain and Azriel being together represents a different and stronger type of love because she’s choosing to be with him

If you ship Elucien, you’re not Pro-Elain because you’re taking away Elain’s right to choose who she wants to be with and forcing her to accept the mating bond

Elain chose to accept Azriel’s advances in the bonus chapter

When Rhysand called Azriel away after catching him and Elain together, Elain was stripped of her choice to be sexually intimate with Azriel

When Azriel and Rhysand are talking in the bonus chapter, Elain’s choices aren’t at the center of their conversation

If you suggest that Elain should leave the Night Court, you’re stripping Elain of her choice to remain with her family

If you suggest that Elain should be friends with someone else, you’re ignoring Elain’s choice to be friends with Nuala and Cerridwen

Why is the concept of choice exclusively tied to Elain and everything surrounding her character while simultaneously ignoring that other characters in the ACOTAR series have, to varying degrees, been stripped of their choices at some point in their lives? And why isn’t the concept of choice connected to these characters in the same way that it is connected to Elain? For example:

Did the High Lords strip Feyre of her choice to consent when they turned her into a High Fae?

Did Tamlin and Ianthe strip Feyre of her choice to consent when they started to control every aspect of her life in the Spring Court?

Was Vassa stripped of her choice when the other Mortal Queens sold her to Koschei, which resulted in her being cursed to turn into a firebird?

Was Feyre stripped of her choice to know the risks involved in the pregnancy?

Did the King of Hybern strip Nesta of her choice to be human when he had her tossed into the Cauldron?

Was everyone stripped of their choices under Amarantha’s rule?

Was Feyre stripped of her choice to just be a daughter and a sister when the Archeron family failed to contribute to their survival, which resulted in Feyre being the family’s sole provider?

Did Lucien’s family strip him and Jesminda of their choice to be together when they killed her because of her status as a Lesser Faerie?

Are Illyrian females stripped of their choice to consent when their wings are clipped?

Did the Hybern general strip Gwyn of her choice to consent?

Did Ianthe strip Lucien of his choice to consent?

Did Keir strip Mor of her choice to consent to her engagement to Eris?

Universally, femininity is synonymous with weakness and women often face discrimination because the patriarchy is part of an interactive system that perpetuates women’s oppression. Since the ACOTAR universe is set up to mirror a patriarchal society, it’s clear that the imbalance of power between males and females stems from sexism. The thing that sets Elain apart from other female characters in the ACOTAR series is the fact that SJM has portrayed Elain as a traditionally feminine character based on her actions and the ways in which Elain carries herself. Compared to them, Elain is inherently held to a different standard because her femalehood takes precedence over other aspects of her character in fandom discussions. These conversations indirectly place Elain on a pedestal and hail her as the epitome of traditional femininity; and when her character is criticized in any way, it’s seen as a direct attack against women, specifically women who are traditionally feminine. Also, these conversations fall back on Elain’s femaleness when analyzing her character since it can be assumed from a reader’s perspective that Elain, despite being the middle sibling, is coddled by those around her because her ultra-feminine nature is perceived as a sort of weakness in need of protection. However, the fact that the concept of choice is used as an argument to primarily focus on Elain’s femalehood highlights the narrow lens through which Elain, as a character, is viewed. It implies that Elain’s femaleness is all her character has to offer to the series overall and insinuates that Elain’s character development is dependent on her femaleness. To suggest, through the choice argument, that ACOTAR’s patriarchal society constrains Elain’s agency and prevents her from enacting her feminist right to choose while failing to examine the patriarchal structure of the ACOTAR universe and its impact on the female characters in the series, the choice argument ultimately falls apart because it shows that it’s only used to focus on Elain’s femalehood. Furthermore, the implication that Elain’s right to choose is, in itself, a feminist act in the series indicates that the concept of choice as an argument is used to promote choice feminism.

Feminism is a social movement that seeks to promote equality and equity to all genders, and feminists work toward eradicating gender disparities on a macro-level, in addition to challenging gender biases on a micro-level. Historically, feminism prioritized the voices of white women, specifically white women who were cisgender, able-bodied, affluent, educated, and heterosexual. But over the decades, the inclusion of women of color and other marginalized women’s voices has broadened the scope of feminism and caused it to take an intersectional approach when discussing social identities and the ways in which these identities result in overlapping systems of oppression and discrimination. On the other hand, choice feminism, a form of feminism, greatly differs from what feminism is aiming to accomplish. In the article “It’s Time to Move Past Choice Feminism”, Bhat states:

“Choice feminism can be understood as the idea that any action or decision that a woman takes inherently becomes a feminist act. Essentially, the decision becomes a feminist one because a woman chose it for herself. What could this look like? It could really be anything. Wearing makeup is a feminist act. Not wearing it is also a feminist act. Shaving or not shaving. Watching one TV show over another. Choosing a certain job over another. Listening to one artist over another. Picking a STEM career. Choosing to dress modestly or not. The list goes on. At first glance, there does not seem to be an apparent negative consequence of choice feminism. A woman’s power is within her choices, and those choices can line up with a feminist ideology. For example, a woman’s decision not to shave may be her response to Western beauty standards that are forced onto women. Not shaving may make her feel beautiful, comfortable, and powerful, and there is nothing wrong with that. Women making choices that make them feel good is not the issue. The issue lies in calling these decisions feminist ones. Choice feminism accompanies an amalgamation of problems‒the first being that this iteration of feminism operates on faulty assumptions about said choices. Liberal feminism neglects the different realities that exist for different women‒especially the difference between white women and women of color, transgender women and cis women, etc. Not all women have the same circumstance and access to choices, not all choices made by women are treated equally, and not all choices are inherently feminist” (https://www.34st.com/article/2021/01/feminism-choice-liberal-patriarchy-misogyny-bimbo-capitalism).

Just as white feminism ignores intersectionality and refuses to acknowledge the discriminations experienced by women of color, choice feminism and arguments supporting choice feminism have, by default, made the concept of choice exclusionary. The individualization of choice feminism glorifies the act of a woman making an individual choice and, by extension, gives the illusion that women’s liberation from gendered oppression can be achieved by enacting their rights to make personal, professional, and political choices. Herein lies the problem with choice feminism: it (the argument of “But it’s my choice!”) stifles feminist conversations from exploring the depths and intricacies of the decision making process because it’s used as a way to shut communication down entirely, shield arguments from criticism, and condemn those who criticize choice feminism for its disconnection from a larger feminist framework. Contrary to what choice feminism advocates for, it lulls the feminist movement into complacency because women’s individual choices do nothing to alleviate gendered oppression. Choice feminism’s leniency towards choice fails to address the limitations of choice in regards to women’s intersectional identities and enables society to shift the blame of women’s oppression away from the societal and institutional structures in place to women themselves for making the wrong choices that ultimately resulted in their circumstances. Choice is not always accessible to every woman. For instance, choices made by white women are, in some way, inaccessible to women of color, in the same way that choices made by cisgender women are inaccessible to transgender women. Choice is one of the founding concepts of the feminist movement and it “became a key part of feminist language and action as an integral aspect and rallying call within the fight for reproductive rights‒the right to choose whether or not we wanted to get pregnant and to choose what we wanted for our bodies and lives” (https://www.feministcurrent.com/2011/03/11/the-trouble-with-choosing-your-choice/). When choice, in a feminist context, is framed as something that is solely about the individual as opposed to the collective, the feminist foundation on which it stands “leads to an inflated sense of accomplishment while distracting from the collective action needed to produce real change that would have a lasting effect for the majority of women” (https://www.jacobinmag.com/2017/03/i-am-not-feminist-jessa-crispin-review/).

By linking the choice argument with choice feminist rhetoric and extreme acts of progressiveness, it plays into today’s negative understanding of a social justice warrior and normalizes fake wokeness. In its original conception, a social justice warrior was another way to refer to an activist and had a positive connotation; nowadays, the term carries a negative connotation and is:

“. . . a pejorative term for an individual who repeatedly and vehemently engages in arguments on social justice on the Internet, often in a shallow or not well-thought-out way, for the purpose of raising their own personal reputation. A social justice warrior, or SJW, does not necessarily strongly believe all that they say, or even care about the groups they are fighting on behalf of. They typically repeat points from whoever is the most popular blogger or commenter of the moment, hoping that they will ‘get SJ points’ and become popular in return. They are very sure to adopt stances that are ‘correct’ in their social circle” (https://fee.org/articles/how-the-term-social-justice-warrior-became-an-insult/).

Today’s perception of the term social justice warrior is directly tied to fake wokeness because both are performative in nature, fueled by the drive to be seen as progressive, and derail necessary conversations from taking place by prioritizing toxicity. According to the article titled, “Three signs of fake ‘wokeness’ and why they hurt activism”, it states:

“. . . social media did not create activism: it did, however, create a legion of hashtags and accounts dedicated to issues . . . Sadly, fake woke people will use these hashtags or create these accounts, see that as contributing to a cause, and just call it a day; these same people tend to shame those without the same level of interest or devotion to a given cause . . . Ironically, as open-minded as the fake woke claim to be, they struggle to deal with opposition. More often than not, those who fit the fake woke bill will ignore, misconstrue, or shutdown anything remotely opposing their stances . . . Now yes, human nature often leads us to possess a bias against that which contradicts our views, but human nature should not serve as an excuse for irrational behavior. Opposition to our stances on issues helps activists more than it harms: it allows them to look at the causes they champion from a perspective they possibly ignored before, further enlightening them. More importantly, by discovering information that may refute what they believe, they can find and eliminate any flaws in their reasoning and strengthen their arguments. Activism involves opening up to change, something one stuck in an echo chamber can never achieve” (https://nchschant.com/16684/opinions/three-signs-of-fake-wokeness-and-why-they-hurt-activism/).

Rather than critiquing ideas, thoughts, and theories about Elain and her character development with textual evidence, the concept of choice as an argument is used to silence opposing viewpoints. This is similar to choice feminism because the conversations start and end with the concept of choice, leaving no room for a critical analysis of Elain’s character. Although the concept of choice as an argument is intended to shed light on how ACOTAR’s patriarchal structure limits females’ agency to some degree, the fact that it’s only applied to Elain invalidates the point of the argument because it doesn’t include the experiences of other female characters when examining the impact of sexism in the ACOTAR universe. The failure to do so calls the intent of the choice argument into question. As it stands, the concept of choice as an argument frames Elucien shippers and those who are critical of Elain as woman haters, misogynists, and anti-feminists, especially if they identify as women. The belief that a woman is anti-feminist or a woman hater any time she dislikes another woman suggests that women have to be held to a different emotional standard than men. If men are able to dislike other individual men without their characters being compromised, why can’t women? Feminism and what it means to be a feminist do not require women to like every woman they encounter. One of the many things feminism hopes to accomplish is granting women the same emotional privileges afforded to men.

Terms like “oppression”, “the right to choose”, “feminist”, “feminism”, “anti-feminist”, “anti-feminism”, “internalized misogyny”, “misogyny”, “misogynist”, “sexist”, “sexism”, “racist”, “racism”, “classist”, “classism”, “discrimination”, and “patriarchy” are all used in specific ways to draw attention to the plight of marginalized people and challenge those who deny the existence of systems of oppression. Yet these words and their meanings can be twisted to attack, exclude, and invalidate people with differing opinions on any given topic. When social justice and feminist terms are thrown around antagonistically and carelessly to push a personal agenda, it becomes clear that these terms are being used to engage in disingenuous discourse and pursue personal validation rather than being used out of any deep-seated conviction to dismantle systemic oppression. The personal weaponization of social justice and feminist concepts is a gateway for people who oppose these movements to strip these terms of their credibility in order to delegitimize the societal and institutional impacts on marginalized people.

It’s important to question how an argument is framed and why it’s framed the way that it is to critically examine the intent behind that argument: is it used as a tool to push a personal agenda that reinforces dismissive, condescending, and problematic behaviors, or is it used as an opportunity to share, learn, enlighten, and educate? The concept of choice as an argument is extremely problematic because: it limits fruitful discussions about Elain within the fandom; enables arguments that oppose opinions about Elain and her narrative development to masquerade as progressive by pushing social justice and feminist language to their extremes; normalizes the vilification and condemnation of individuals who are either critical of a ship, Elain as a character, or prefer her with Lucien; encourages an in-group and out-group mentality with differing opinions about Elain’s development resulting in politically charged insults; exploits social justice and feminist terms; ignores that harm done on a micro-level is just as damaging as harm done on a macro-level; and cheapens Elain’s character and her development.

There is more to Elain than her being a female who is traditionally feminine. Elain has the potential to be as complex of a character as Feyre, Nesta, Rhysand, Lucien, Cassian, Azriel, Amren, and Mor, and to reduce her character to her femalehood in fandom discussions is a disservice to Elain as a character, the ACOTAR fandom, and SJM’s writing. So I ask this: is there a reason why the fandom heavily emphasizes the concept of choice when discussing Elain that goes beyond a simplistic analysis of her as a character (i.e. using the concept of choice as an argument to reinforce Elain’s femaleness), or is the concept of choice used as a shield to prop up one ship over another?

gimme-mor library

#elucien #elain archeron #acosf #acotar: fandom critical

211 notes · View notes

screamingatanemptyroom · 3 years

Text

Please Fix the Story pt 22 - Sci Fi

New part is here! Just a few more in this world. Just realized that it's been about 1 year since I've started this story. Wow.

Masterpost linked here.

Enjoy!

____________________________

The school was greatly relieved to hear that I had made a Connection and was no longer a danger to myself and others. They immediately rescinded my suspension and "encouraged" me to resume training with my new partner as soon as possible. I found the quick 180 amusing, but didn't argue.

It took multiple video calls with Alaira’s father to reassure him that everything was okay, and a few more to prevent him from throwing a parade for Liam to thank him for matching his daughter. His tears of joy at the news was a complicated moment for me.

I had felt a deep sense of joy, but it was an emotion that didn’t belong to me... it belonged to Alaira. Watching him celebrate his daughter’s recovery felt hypocritical, knowing that in the world that I hadn’t taken over, his daughter hadn’t had a good end. She had died alone and afraid, her mind fragmented.

But there was no way to tell him that.

The mission completion status on my communication device had risen quickly from 1% to 42%. Liam and I spent every waking moment together, talking, joking, and learning about each other. We practiced making the connection with the Mech, powering and controlling it now a smooth, painless process. It was natural, coming as easily to me as breathing. Working with him felt less like learning with a new partner as gaining back a missing part of me.

I was happy.

But not everyone was glad to hear we had matched.

Shortly after our match was made public, Liam and I were walking down the hallway after class, and were forced to stop by a young, angry woman blocking our path.

“It’s a lie!” Princess Ilene glared at Liam as she faced us down. “William can’t be a real Connector! He’s always been just a useless waste. He's a stain on the royal family!”

Liam seemed unfazed by his sister’s cruel words, as if he were used to it. The lack of reaction and the implications behind it made me even angrier. I stepped forward, hiding him partly behind me, and smiled pleasantly. My expression and pleasant tone obviously confused the princess, who took a step back.

“Ilene, Ilene, there’s just so much wrong with what you said… I don’t even know where to begin!” I shrugged. “ But, correcting idiocy IS my calling in life, so let me give it a shot:”

Ilene’s face was red with rage, but I ignored her incoherent sputtering, holding up a finger.

“First, Liam is capable of making the connection. He just had a strong barrier. Obviously it isn't impossible, or he and I wouldn’t be matched. “ I held up a second finger. “Secondly, and more importantly: even if he COULDN’T make the connection, he still wouldn’t be useless. He’s a kind, wonderful person, and that’s more than you can say about most Guardians or Connectors… present company included.”

“ How dare…” Princess Ilene took a step back. “What are you trying to say?”

I blinked, shocked “Oh, was I not being obvious enough? I don’t like you. I think Liam is a much better human being than you, and find it pitiful that you try to derive your self worth from putting him down.”

Liam stepped forward, grabbing my hand. “It’s ok…”

“No, its not. You don’t deserve for people to call you trash.” I felt emotional, as if something deep inside me was trying to break free.

“It’s always been like this.” He shrugged, “I’m used to being alone.”

____________________________

“Friends, family?”

The man in front of me was smiling at my question, but the expression was so sad it made me want to cry.

“None.” He twisted his hands in his lap, looking away. “I’m supposed to be alone.”

“Why?”

“Supposedly that’s my fate.”

____________________________

“You are not trash.” I tightened my grip on Liam’s hand. “ and you’re not alone anymore.”

“I know.” He smiled, “Thanks.”

Princess Ilene spoke up, obviously tired of being ignored. “How dare you trample on Chris’s kindness and reject him for this tr…” She started to say the word “trash” but seeing my face, nervously trailed off and started again. “You don’t even know if you two have a high enough resonance match to ward off your mental degradation…!”

“We do. It’s gone.”

She paused, thrown by my matter of fact tone. “… But what if you’re a higher match with Chris…”

“Don’t care. I hate him.”

“… But…”

“You do bring up a good point, though.” I turned to Liam. “We should see what our resonance match rate is.”

He looked nervous. “What if it isn’t very high?”

“Doesn’t matter. We’re already partners. I’m just curious.” I grinned. “Plus, I’m pretty sure it’s really high, and I’d love to use that to shut people up.”

He chuckled at that. “If it means that much to you to rub it into people’s faces...”

“It does.”

We walked towards the match center, leaving Princess Ilene stunned into silence behind.

____________________________

Liam got more anxious the closer we got to the match center. “You promise you won’t break our partnership if our match score is low?”

“You know I wouldn’t do that.” I didn’t feel insulted at his questioning. I could feel his insecurity, the need for me to say out loud what he thought he knew. “Low or high, we’re partners. You’re stuck with me.”

“Good.” He sighed, grinning. “I like being stuck with you.”

Finally, we were facing the machine that had failed us both so many times. Irrationally, I felt a little nervous, the many prior failures of the past few weeks too fresh and painful to completely forget.

Liam stepped away from me, reaching out and placed his hands on the panel first.

“Unrecognized tester. Please let down your mental barrier to proceed with Match testing.”

I rubbed my forehead tiredly as the robotic rejection echoed loudly around the room; “I forgot your barrier is still around since it doesn’t effect me anymore.”

“Honestly, I had forgotten too.” He responded with a happy smile.

A crowd was starting to gather, curious at our actions. As more and more people realized what we were doing, I began hearing the whispering between them.

“Didn’t she go crazy?”

“...thought she couldn’t match?”

“He has a barrier? ...never could match.”

“I heard they already formed a connection.”

“Heard her dad is a general, spread the rumor of her matching so she wouldn’t get kicked out.”

“Isn’t she matched up with Chris?”

“Why are they here?”

I grabbed Liam’s hand again, feeling relieved when I felt his warm skin against my own. “Don’t listen to them.”

“Don’t worry, I won’t.” He stared straight at me, ignoring the hostile words and gazes of the crowd. “You’re beside me, and that’s all that matters.”

I squeezed his hand in my own. A strong desire welled up within me to be worthy of the trust he gave me. I wanted to show everyone what Liam could do, the bond we had... but of course it couldn't be too easy.

“We just have to figure out how to get your barrier down enough for the machine to read you." I glanced down at my hand that was still holding his. "I mean, I’m touching you now, right? There’s no barrier between us?”

He stared down at our clasped hands, his cheeks tinged pink. “Yes, I feel you. I mean, no, there’s no barrier.”

“Good!" I gestured to the pad with my free hand. "Then why don't you try again while we're still touching each other?”

He placed his hand back on the machine.

“Please let down your mental barrier to proceed with Match testing.” The machine's voice repeated itself calmly.

His hand fell away, frustrated. I could feel his anxiety, and worried deep down that I had made a wrong choice. I did this to reassure him that we are a good match. To shut up everyone saying that it's a made up story to justify the removal of my suspension. To prove to everyone that Liam isn't useless, even by their own stupid standards.

But none of this will happen if he can't use the machine.

I thought it over, and grinned as I came up with a plan. “Hmm… Well, there’s one other thing we can try…”

I leaned in and kissed him, grabbing his free hand with my own and placing it on the pad together. His breath caught in his chest and he froze in shock very briefly before kissing back. In that moment I almost forgot why I had kissed him in the first place, but the robotic voice quickly reminded me.

“Resonance match detected…. Scanning…. Resonance Frequency Match...100%.”

The voice had barely faded before there were shouts of shock from the crowd. The room descended into chaos at the announcement. I broke away from Liam, who was still distracted, and stared at him.

“Did that machine just say… we are a 100 PERCENT match? I didn’t even think that was possible!”

Liam blinked. “I’m sorry, I dinwhat did you say?”

“We’re a perfect match, Liam.” I laughed. “I knew this was a great idea!”

Definitely didn't completely doubt the plan halfway through... yep.

“So… no one can separate us then?” His body relaxed, and he reached out, pulling me against himself and hugging me tightly. I felt the trembling of his muscles and knew that the anxiety he had shown was only the tip of the iceberg. His true fears and insecurities were still well hidden, even from me.

I hugged him back, waiting for him to back away. The crowd’s murmuring were now a loud roar, as everyone discussed a match rate that most thought impossible to achieve. And there, in the back of the crowd, I saw a solitary figure standing there, watching us with a blank stare.

Chris.

I shuddered, holding Liam tighter. The first thing I had done when Liam and I announced our match was to report to the authorities Chris holding me in his room. I suspected him of drugging me as well, remembering the prick of the needle before falling unconscious.

I was laughed at.

“Why would a student with a crystal clear reputation go out of his way to kidnap a general’s daughter? He already had a match, a better one than his resonance with you if I recall. If anyone had motive to kidnap someone, it would be you to him!”

The words were cutting, made worse by the pity on their faces.

“It’s obvious: your mind was breaking down due to the strain without a Connector, and came up with this fantastical plot of being kidnapped.”

And despite my objections, the claim was dropped. I hadn’t seen Chris since the day we parted in his room.

Until now.

His gaze held mine. He was expressionless, watching us with a detached, almost clinical air. I would have almost thought he was bored, or at least uncaring about the situation in front of him… if not for his eyes…

His eyes were burning with rage.

I looked away first feeling an odd sense of familiarity, as if something similar had happened before.

____________________________

A few days later Liam and I had our first mock battle. Suspended together in the Connection chamber within the Mech, the constant physical and mental connection with Liam made operating the Mech much easier than it ever had been alone.

I fought with a sword, having abandoned the dual guns completely. I breathed a sigh of relief at the speed I could move at as I ducked under the enemy Mech’s attack. Turning with the spin of my dodge, I used the momentum and I swung around to slash the torso of our opponent with the sword.

“Nice hit!” Liam’s voice in my headset was excited. He was cheering me on along the way, spurring me to show off with more complex moves when possible, hoping to impress him.

I pressed the attack, slamming the Mech with the shoulder of ours, and kicking it to the ground before it could recover its balance. The movements were smooth, and my head was clear of any pain. The prior drain and discomfort of controlling the giant robot was completely gone.

As our opponent fell to the ground, I pressed the tip of the sword into the Mech’s neck. The referee called out our victory, and the crowd around the arena cheered, but it was just noise to me. All that mattered was Liam’s excited babbling in my ear.

“That was awesome! I’ve always wondered what it felt like to win a Mech fight, and it’s so much cooler than I ever imagined! This is great! When can we fight again?”

“Glad you had fun, Liam.” I laughed at the innocent delight in his voice. After the stress and pain I had experienced since waking up in this world, the uncertainty of who I was and why I was here, there was something simple and healing about being by Liam’s side.

I feel happy.

I was nervous about admitting it, even to myself, as if the simple acknowledgement of the positive emotion would be enough to destroy it. But I couldn’t deny it. I WAS happy.

After we had undocked and changed, Liam and I relaxed in the fighter’s lounge. Liam as always, had a container that he pulled out of a bag, opening it to reveal a slice of cake. I took it from him with a murmur of thanks, and after the first bite sighed with joy.

“I've been meaning to ask you: Where do you get this cake? It's obviously not from the school shop, it’s way too good!”

Liam smiled at the question. “I made it myself.” Usually more quiet and shy, he seemed very confident when it came to matters such as food. The change in his attitude was something I loved to see.

“Really? You made it? This is too delicious… if only I could have this all the time.” I took another bite, savoring it. As I swallowed, I looked up at him and joked. "Yep, I think the only solution would be for me to just marry you.”

“…” There was a strange silence in the room. I ate some more cake, unconcerned at first, but as the awkward stillness stretched on I paused in my actions, turning towards Liam again with a questioning look.

His face was bright red, and he stared at me with a look of shock and joy.

“Liam?”

He nodded, and blushing more, pulled out his communication device, dialing a number.

“Who are you calling…?”

Alaira’s father, General Gladus showed up on the holographic projection from his device. He stared at Liam, confused for a moment, before barking out with a frown. “Who is this?”

Liam sat up straight, staring at the man with a solemn expression. “General Gladus, my name is William. I am the third born of the Royal family, and a first year student at the academy, and a Level S Connector.”

General Gladus grinned. “I know who you are, son. You’re the wonderful young man who matched with my daughter. I’ve been wanting to talk with you and thank you…”

“Your daughter has asked me to marry her and I have agreed.”

“What?”

My father and I asked in unison.

“I was very happy to receive your daughter’s offer of marriage. I will do my very best to support her in all her endeavors.”

“She proposed?”

I silently mouthed an echoing question as my father burst out loudly. “I proposed?”

Liam nodded. “I wanted to let you know so that you could arrange for military leave and be present for our wedding. I know the paperwork can take weeks to months. ”

“…” General Gladus looked stunned. Slowly, his hologram turned towed me. “Alaira, is this true?”

"Yeah, military leave paperwork is notoriously slow..."

He interrupted. "No I mean about the engagement!"

I glanced over at Liam’s excited face.

____________________________

“I don’t believe it’s real.” He whispered, staring down at our hands that were clasped together. “I thought that I was always going to be alone. I thought my fate… my role… ”

I fiddled with the silver band in my hand, trying it on his finger. “Screw fate. We’re getting married now.”

“Yeah.” He grinned, the smile lighting up his face, making the whole room brighter. “Screw fate. I’m your husband!”

____________________________

I shrugged. “What can I say? We’re a destined couple.” I briefly explained about our 100% resonance match.

“… Did you say 100% match?” At my nod, General Gladus opened up his arms. “Welcome to family! When's the wedding?”

After a few more minutes of discussion, Liam hung up, still looking happy.

“Should we notify your parents?”

His face froze. When his gaze finally rose to met mine I shrunk back from the dull look I saw there.

“No reason to.” He reached out, tucking back my hair. “A family without love is just blood related acquaintances. You’re my real family, wife.”

I hugged him again. “That’s right. I’m your family.” I hadn’t really meant to propose… it was just a joke. But the second he called me wife, my heart had felt a sense of recognition. It was happy, but also hurt, a deep remembered pain. A panicked feeling rose up within me, as fear, despair and sadness came in waves, before leaving quickly, overwhelming me without warning or reason. I desperately wanted to remember something, to tear open the fog clouding my brain and peer at what was hidden behind it. But I couldn't.

You must accept your fate. A metallic voice rang in my head, cold, dispassionate, filled with undeniable.

“No.” I whispered, tears filling my eyes even if I wasn’t sure why they were there.

Liam noticed my distress. “Alaira?”

“I'm fine." I think we should go back to practice.” I pulled him to his feet. “We’ll talk more about this later.”

“You’re right, let’s continue working hard so we can save the world like you wanted. But on our next break, we have a wedding to plan!” For the first time, Liam was more excited than me to get to practice. He grabbed my hand and raced forward.

____________________________

Later that night, I went back to my dorm room, still thinking over my last conversation with Liam. He was energetically talking about wedding plans, making lists and drawings with the hologram on his communicator, storing them in special file with my name on it.

When I asked him why he was so excited, he paused, staring down at his hands. “Have you ever felt a desire that was so strong, it seemed to be beyond anything you’ve experienced before?” He glanced up. “I feel this, Alaira. Deep in my soul. I want to be by your side. I want to marry you, but even if you didn’t want that, I’d be your minion or your sidekick. Being by you… helping you… it’s such an integral part of myself, I couldn’t separate from it if I tried.”

“Liam…”

“I think I believe in reincarnation and soul mates.” He smiled. “I’m so happy right now that I think this has to be a hallucination, it can’t be real.”

“I don’t believe it’s real.” I felt the memory of the young man’s whisper in my head again, and pushing it back, I leaned forward to kiss Liam gently.

“It’s real.”

Now alone in my room, I couldn’t help but feel bewildered by the connection with Liam, the emotions and memories that accompanied every moment with him.

“Who am I?” I leaned against the wall and whispered to myself.

“That is the question isn’t it?”

At the unexpected answer I straightened up, falling into a defensive stance. Recognizing the intruder did not make relax, however. If anything it made me more tense.

“Chris. What are you doing here?” I kept my voice calm, trying to hide my inner tension.

“I’m getting tired, Bel.” He sat down on my bed and leaned back, staring up at the ceiling. “I’m just… so tired of all this.”

“What did you call me?” The name resonated with me, much more than “Alaira” ever had.

He ignored me. “It wasn’t supposed to be like this. You were supposed to give up right away. It promised me…”

The room fell into silence. I stood as still as a statue, barely daring to breathe. I was desperate to hear more, terrified to let him continue speaking. Chris’s voice was different, his tone filled with years of regret. His eyes when they stared at me, seemed to look right through me, as if seeing through my skin to something deeper and more profound.

“Why can’t you just accept your fate, Bel?” He sighed, the sound seeming to drag on too long. “Everything depends on it.”

“What do you…?”

“The lower realms you treasure… the friends you’ve made… even…” He hesitated. “Even his existence depends on everyone having their role and playing their part.”

“I don’t understand what you mean, Chris.”

“MY NAME ISN’T CHRIS!” He yelled, the sound startling in the otherwise silent room. “Just like yours isn’t Alaira. Just like his… it wasn’t supposed to be…”

“Liam?”

”THAT WASN’T SUPPOSED TO BE HIS NAME!” Chris, or whoever he was, stood up, his face red with rage. “He corrupted it! He refused his role, and ended up tricking you to do the same.” He stepped closer. “Why do you always force me to be the one who has to carry the weight of the realms on my shoulders? Why does he get to be the only one who is happy? I don’t want to play these games anymore, Bel.”

“I’m not playing games!” I shouted back, frustrated. “I don’t remember anything!”

“And you won’t. Not until it’s over. But it will be soon. Because I’m going to end it.” He walked towards the door, preparing to leave, only stopping when I grabbed his arm.

“No. You aren’t leaving until you explain what you meant.”

His eyes lit up briefly at our contact, and I pulled my hand away quickly. “You made a bet, Bel, and these are rules you can’t escape. All it takes is one failed mission. One failure before you can finish the task of piecing together your soul.”

“Piecing together…?” His words struck a chord within me, but I shook my head. “I may not understand anything going on, but I’ll tell you this: I won’t fail my mission.”

The light is his eyes dimmed. “You started this. Just remember that, when you regret everything. You. Started. This.”

He left through room, slamming the door behind him. I stood in place, staring blankly, my mind racing.

Realms, real names, missions and bets… I don’t understand any of it.

But I knew one thing, as certainly as if it were imprinted on my soul.

I would not accept my fate.

Even if I couldn’t remember what that fate was.

Even if I had to destroy fate itself to escape it.

#writing #please fix the story #sci fi #lost memories #a little more liam #plot for the sci world about the speed up.

143 notes · View notes

xebecatt2002 · 3 years

Text

Historical Background Details in 'When in Rome'

Season 3’s ‘When In Rome’ is packed full of historical references. The story itself revolves around several key historical events and people like Julius Caesar, Pompey and the conquest of Gaul so much in fact that I’ll cover those in another post. What I want to discuss here is the few ‘Blink and you’ll miss it’ references featured in the background of the episode.

One set piece that appears a few times in this episode is the wolf statue in Caesar’s Palace. It sits in the main hall of Caesar’s place and can be seen in background of a couple of key scenes.

The statue is modelled closely on the famous bronze statue known as the ‘Capitoline Wolf’ which you can still in Rome today. The statue is of the two legendary founders of Rome, Romulus and his brother Remus, being suckled by a She-Wolf. The origin of the statue is unknown and there is some debate as to its age, but it is generally believed that the wolf is early Etruscan and dates to the 5th century BC while the statues of the twins are believed to be a much later addition.

Comparing the Xena prop with the original from Rome you can see the Xena one closely copies the overall shape of the wolf and the poses of the babies. Sadly, we don’t get any close ups of the Xena statue though from the lighting it appears they didn’t include any of the engraved details. As it is a background piece not intended for close ups it is understandable that they would save time by not over embellishing it.

As briefly mentioned above the statue is of the founders of Rome. According to myth, Rome was founded by Romulus and Remus who were the sons of a Vestal Virgin called Rhea Silvia. She was the daughter of Numitor, the rightful king of Alba Longa who was deposed by his brother Amulius. After seizing his brother’s throne, Amulius feared opposition to his rule. Once source of contention could come from a future child of his niece, the former princess. Any grandchild of his brother would be a rival to the throne. To prevent this, and to ensure the death of his brother’s bloodline, he forced her to become a Vestal Virgin. As a priestess to the goddess Vesta, she would have been sworn to celibacy. As in many myths, however, the gods intervened and she was impregnated by the god of War, Mars.

When Rhea gave birth to the twins, the king ordered that they be thrown into the River Tiber. Accounts differ here as to whether they were swept downstream or if the unwilling servant just left them on the riverbank but what they do agree is that they were found by a she wolf who suckled them until a shepherd found them and adopted the children. Later as, adults they would discover the truth about their heritage and return to depose the king who had usurped their grandfather’s throne. Once they returned the kingdom back to Numitor they left the kingdom to found their own city. However, during the foundation of their new city the two brothers quarrelled, and Romulus killed his brother Remus thus becoming the first leader of the settlement that would become Rome.

This image of the brothers and the wolf would be used throughout Roman history as a symbol for the city of Rome. As well as statues the wolf and twins would be engraved in stone and even found on some of the earliest coins. As a Roman politician it is understandable that Caesar would image in such a prominent place in his palace on full display to his guests. Yet there is another, more personal reason why and that is it that because the statue is of his ancestors.

The Julii family claimed decent from the goddess of love, Venus. Venus was the mother of another legendary founder of the Roman people, the hero Aeneas. Aeneas was a prince of Troy who fled the city when it fell to the Greek’s during the Trojan war and lead the refugees to settle in Italy. His descendants would become the ruling Alba Longa dynasty that the future founder of Rome, Romulus, would belong to.

The story is famously described in the work of the poet Virgil who weaves history and legend into an epic poem written in the style of the great works of Homer. Virgil wrote his work during the time of Augustus, the first Roman Emperor, the Great-Nephew and adopted son of Julius Caesar. After a period of civil war, the work was a celebration of Augustus, the greatness of Rome and its destiny to become a dominant empire. (Might sound a bit familiar to Xena fans lol)

Aeneas suffers several trials on his journey to a new homeland. In these dark times he is given glimpses into the future to give him encouragement and remind him he is working towards a greater future, the future that is Rome. One such moment is when he finds his father Anchises in the underworld who shared with him that his son is destined to found the dynasty of Alba Longa. He points out to Aeneas the spirits of his future descendants and tells him of their achievements including Romulus

‘Look at him, my son. Under his auspices will be founded Rome in all her glory, whose empire shall cover the earth and whose spirit shall rise to the heights of Olympus’ Aeneid, 6.781-783

Straight after this introduces him to Augustus Caesar and the ‘sons of Iulus’, connecting the emperor and his family with these legends. Iulus would be a name adopted by Aeneas’ son from his first wife, Ascanius. Ascanius Iulus would become the founder of Alba Longa and give his name to the Julii family.

Virgil creates this connection again later Aeneas is presented by Venus a shield made my Hephaestus which is decorated with scenes of his descendants and Rome’s past.

‘He had made too, a mother wolf stretched out in the green cave of Mars with twin boys playing round her udders, hanging there unafraid and suckling at her as she bent her neck back to lick each of them in turn and mould their bodies into shape with her tongue.’ Aeneid 630-4

The procession starts again with Romulus, featuring the exact image of him and his brother being reared by the wolf. Though it is unlikely that the two are connected, Virgil’s description does invoke the image of the statue in the way the wolf is almost turning its head. As before the scene ends with an image of Augustus Caesar, Caesar’s heir, in prominent centre of the shield firmly placing the Emperor within Rome’s historic and mythic past.

From the work of Virgil we get the idea of how Julius Caesar could claim he was related to Romulus. I tried to recreate the Julian genealogical tree to help demonstrate the link.

To have this statue of his prestigious ancestors on display in his public rooms of his palace he is clearly demonstrating his authority in Rome and impress others with his status. On a more subtle note, it’s also symbolic of his desire to rule Rome, to become it’s sole leader just like Romulus was and just like Romulus fought with his brother, Caesar is fighting with his allies for control of Rome as shown in the scene of Caesar and Pompey competing for control of Rome’s resources. Funnily enough this takes place in front of the statue of Romulus and Remus.

Caesar could claim to be related to both the founder of the Roman people, Aeneas, and the founder of the city, Romulus, would certainly have added to his sense of ‘destiny’ and entitlement to rule Rome.

Another little historical detail worth mentioning is featured on the standards used to decorate the same great hall the wolf stands.

The standards feature the historic inscription S.P.Q.R. This stands for Senātus Populusque Rōmānus which translates to The Senate and the People of Rome. It’s a phrase that appears in historical literature and in inscriptions as a signature to the power of the Roman Government.

Roman standards a banner which identified a particular military unit. As well as decorative they had a more practical use as rallying points or for sending signals on the battle field. These would be decorated with a number of different images but the most well known is the Aquila or Eagle. The eagle appears to be the insignia used on the standards found in Caesar's palace.

#xena warrior princess #xena #xena fan #xena gabrielle #xenite #xenites #lucy lawless #renee o'connor #ancient history #ancient rome #julius caesar

111 notes · View notes

jenstar1992-2 · 3 years

Text

Heaven

Pairing: Echo X Reader

Warnings: Some language, insinuations of sexual activities (I don’t know if that’s the right wording necessarily, but there it is), mentions of nightmares, loss, and grieving.

Word Count: 3,836

A/N: So, I'm not sure what all devices in the Star Wars universe are called, and in order to not sound completely inept, I decided to just describe the devices' functions instead of naming them and seeing as I've never come across some of these types of devices in Star Wars, I figured this was the best way to go. I hope that makes sense. Also, I have added a lyric video below for reference. I was initially going to just link an already existing lyric video for the song, but then I just decided to make one instead, using some visuals that better fit the content. Which then meant I had to create a Youtube channel just to upload the thing and link it here, because it wouldn’t let me upload directly from my laptop. 🤷🏼‍♀️ So that's there if anyone wants it, and I now have a Youtube channel for my longer edits.

It was one of those nice, quiet evenings, the kind you didn't get very often ever since you started working with The Bad Batch. They weren't necessarily the rowdiest bunch of clones you'd met, but they did seem to always find a way to interrupt you and your boyfriend's alone time.

It seemed like every time you and Echo found a quiet moment where it was just the two of you, one, if not the whole lot, of them would come barging in out of nowhere, needing something or another. Although, you were pretty sure Wrecker just did it because he thought it was funny to annoy you, and knowing that fact only annoyed you more, but you'd let it slide, always reassuring yourself that there would be a next time, one that wouldn't be intruded upon. It seemed that tonight was one of those times, seeing as the four commandos were off gathering supplies at the nearby village of the planet you were temporarily taking residence on, and you were planning on making the most of it while you could.

It didn't take you long to locate your boyfriend, despite your first impressions the Havoc Marauder was not that big of a craft, so there were only so many places he could be. You found him in the communal sleeping quarters, sitting on the bunk you two shared, datapad in hand reading something or another, as usual. You had been given your own bunk, but after your first week with the group, you realized that you preferred to just sleep together. You both had a little trouble sleeping and found that sleeping in one another's embrace seemed to keep the nightmares at bay and gave you both a much more restful sleep.

You walked over and sat beside him, sliding your arms around his middle and holding him as you rested your head on his shoulder. He chuckled and wrapped the nearest arm around you, keeping you close as he continued to read.

You smiled and let out a contented sigh. Moments like this were rare alright, which is what made you appreciate them more when they did occur. It was just nice to be able to have a sweet moment with your love without a joke being made, or the always popular, "Get a room" comment.

"Would love to", you'd say, "Only problem is, it just so happens to be everyone's room."

"Damn, doesn't that bite the big one", would come Crosshair's snide remark, as he shook his head, mocking you like the snarky ass he was.

It was a good thing that deep down you really did like these guys, or you would've kicked some asses long ago.

You reveled in this quiet moment for a while longer before peeking at the datapad in his hand and asking, "So, what are you reading this time, anything interesting, or just more boring rule books?"

He laughed and shook his head. "You know, I don't just read reg manuals", he responded, turning his head to give you a smirk.

You shrugged. "I know, but you definitely read them a lot more than anyone else I know. I'm not even sure if some of the boys have ever read them actually."

He laughed again and you smiled at the sound. "Well, I'd like to think I've been branching out more lately with my literary escapades. I'm at least trying to be more fun, wouldn't want your book worm of a boyfriend boring you to death", he said, leaning into you with a light shove before straightening up again.

You chuckled and held him a bit tighter. "Yeah, you're a book worm alright, but you’re my book worm, and you’re not boring love, far from it", you said as you pulled your head from his shoulder to meet his gaze.

His eyes softened as he looked into yours, silently thanking you for the praise. He leaned his face to yours and kissed you lovingly, and with so much softness it almost hurt when he pulled away.

You just gazed into each other's eyes for a minute before you remembered why you'd come to find him in the first place.

You unwrapped your arms from around him. "Speaking of trying to be more fun, I have something fun we could do", you said with a bright smile.

He eyed you curiously. "Oh yeah, what did you have in mind?"

You rose from the bunk to stand in front of him, grabbing the datapad from his flesh hand and tossing it on the pillow beside him, taking the now empty hand and his cybernetic one in yours and pulling him to his feet.

"You are going to indulge your girlfriend, who's been waiting all day for this mind you, with a dance", you replied, smile still taking over your features.

He cocked an eyebrow, as if your response surprised him. "Huh, definitely not what I thought you were going to say", he said.

"And what did you think I was going to say", you asked with a smirk as you went to your original bunk above your shared one and pulled out a small electronic device, typing away on it, searching for something.

"Well, I, um... I thought, uh...", Echo stammered, as he rubbed the back of his neck, still searching for the right words. He cleared his throat before saying, "Uh, nothing, nothing, so a dance, huh?"

You shook your head and chuckled at his nervous behavior, you knew exactly what he thought you'd meant, but you weren't going to embarrass him any further.

"Yes, a dance", you replied, finding the audio file you'd been searching for and pulling it up. You then connected the device to the small amplifying device on the table across the room.

"That sounds nice cyare, but I don't know how to dance", he confessed shyly.

You smiled and looked to him. "Then I'll teach you", you told him, pressing on the file to play it and setting the device back on the bed.

As the soft music filled the room, you walked to your now flustered looking boyfriend, taking him by the hand and then slowly guiding him to take your hips. He didn't hesitate to do so, and as he rested his hands on you, and you placed yours around his neck, a light blush rose on his cheeks. He always got like this when you two did anything even remotely intimate. It baffled you that after this long of being together, and after doing much more than this, that he'd be this worked up over, what you saw as, a simple act. But maybe it wasn't so simple to him, maybe the years of touch deprivation had him craving it more than you realized, and add the emotion behind the action, the love you felt transferring between the two of you in something as small as a glance, and you could understand his reaction. This realization had you thanking whatever powers at be for bringing you two together, allowing you to be that person for him, because it was truly a gift, one you wouldn't take for granted.

You began to slowly sway your body from side to side, coaxing him to follow your movements. As you both found the right pace and swayed in time to the song's slow rhythm, you listened to the words being sung and let your mind wander, the words bringing memories to the surface of your consciousness.

Oh, thinkin' about our younger years,

There was only you and me,

We were young and wild and free.

You remembered when you'd first met Echo, back when he was a new addition to the 501st. A young trooper, who's dream was to one day receive ARC statues. You had become fast friends, and after only a few months it was clear that your friendship had grown into something more. It was obvious you two had feelings for each other, the only people who were blind to this were you and Echo. A problem that was soon remedied by his brother, Fives, who had all but forced Echo to admit how he felt to you, which he did, albeit, with quite a bit of struggle on his part, the poor guy could barely get his words out. Luckily, you had caught on to what he was trying to say, and took pity on him, deciding to take this opportunity to tell him that you felt the same.

You still remember the look of surprise on his face at your confession, he hadn't believed it at first, but when you plucked up the courage to grab him by the chest plate and pull him into a tender kiss, he knew you weren't lying, and this had his heart soaring.

Now nothing can take you away from me.

We've been down that road before,

But that's over now.

You keep me comin' back for more.

After the battle to defend Kamino, Echo had finally gotten what he'd been working so hard to achieve, he had been promoted to ARC Trooper, and you couldn't have been happier for him. You remember him coming into your station of the hangar to tell you the good news.

You'd been working on fixing up some loose wiring on a transport ship when you were suddenly lifted from the ground and the world spun around you. After a moment of disorientation, you found your bearings and stared up at the culprit, only to find your boyfriend beaming down at you.

"Woah, where's the fire", you asked in jest.

"No fire, just have some good news", he responded, still smiling wide.

"Oh, ok then, spill."

"We did it", he said simply.

"Umm, ok, who did what exactly", you asked, furrowing your brows in confusion.

"Fives and I, we're being made ARC Troopers", he said, his chest puffing out a bit with pride.

"What, that's great", you practically shouted, and pulled him into a tight embrace. "I knew you could do it; you've worked so hard, you deserve this. I'm so happy for you, you're finally getting your dream."

He squeezed you tighter. "Thank you, and thank you for always believing in me, even when I didn't", he said quietly.

You pulled back to look at him before speaking. "I'll always believe in you Echo. Always and forever."

That was your thing, the mantra of your relationship, if you will, "I'll love you always and forever". This was because you both believed it to be true. Neither one of you could see yourselves falling for anyone else or loving another the way you did each other.

“Always and forever cyare”, he said, smiling softly at you, “And now I can focus on my other dream.”

You gave him confused look. “Other dream, what’s your other dream”, you asked.

His smile grew as he leaned in to speak low in your ear. “You”, he said, making your stomach do a somersault.

You knew it would be difficult, but you two wanted to plan a future together, and spend whatever time you had left together making a family and living a quiet, happy life. Once this miserable war was over, that's exactly what you were going to do.

Unfortunately, things don't always work out the way we want them to, and your dreams of a peaceful life with your beloved were shattered when the day came that the 501st returned from their mission on Lola Sayu, minus an ARC Trooper.

Oh, once in your life you'll find someone,

Who will turn your world around,

Pick you up when you're feelin' down.

Now nothing can change what you mean to me.

There's a lot that I could say,

But just hold me now.

Fives had been the one to give you the dreadful news and had stayed to help you through the initial shock and pain of it all. He had been ready for the inevitable tears he knew would come and did they ever. You couldn't remember a time before that, where you had cried with as much vigor or to the extent that you had, when shedding tears for your lost love.

I've been waiting for so long,

For somethin' to arrive,

For love to come along.

Time seemed to pass by agonizingly slow, as you tried to regain some semblance of normalcy in your life. Having both lost the person you held dear, you and Fives had found a new understanding for one another, and subsequently formed a close bond. He was the friend you desperately needed, just as you were for him. So, when you eventually lost him as well, you were beside yourself with grief.

Instead of wallowing in your sorrow, like you wanted to, you decided to throw yourself into your work, trying desperately to keep yourself busy, so as to not give yourself time to think of what you had lost. This worked most of the time, but there were always those times when something would remind you of them, a laugh that was just too close to the one you remembered, or a smile from a kind trooper that hit too close to home. Then there were those nights where you would wake from a nightmare and reach out beside you for a comforting hand, only to find empty space, those times were the hardest. It took everything you had inside you to just keep on going, because you knew that they wouldn't have wanted you to give up, so you carried on, even when it hurt.

Now our dreams are comin' true,

Through the good times and the bad,

I'll be standin' there by you.

It had been a year since the mission on Lola Sayu, a year of you trying to get on with your life, and forget the past, because remembering only caused you more pain. But life has a funny, if not sadistic, way of turning on its head and changing your course when you least expect it, because soon after that year mark, you received the news you never thought you'd get.

"He's alive", Rex said, eyes boring into yours, trying to get you to believe what he was telling you, but you weren't about to give in that easily.

"What you're saying is impossible, both you and Fives told me you saw him die at the citadel, and now you're telling me he miraculously survived. I'm not buying it, and I don't appreciate you trying to get my hopes up, just so they can be ripped back down once you're proven wrong", you said, with more venom in your voice than you had intended.

"I know I'm right on this one, (Y/N). I heard him, it was Echo's voice on that transmission, I'm sure of it", he reiterated, desperate for you to listen, or to at least consider it to be true.

"I'm sorry Rex, but I just can't believe what you're saying. I can't take another blow, I just can't, because if I do, I fear I won't make it out the other side this time" you said as tears began to fill your eyes.

Rex placed a comforting hand on your shoulder. "I understand, but I promise you, I'm telling the truth, Echo is alive, and I'm going to bring him home, I'm going to bring him back to you", he said, with so much conviction that you almost believed him, almost.

"Don't make promises you can't keep", you told him despondently.

He looked you in the eye, a determined expression on his face. "I intend to keep this one", he said, and he did.

No more than two days later, the team sent on the rescue mission to Skako Minor returned, with Echo.

You couldn't believe your eyes when Rex took you to see him in the med bay. He was different, that was for sure, but he was still Echo, he was still the man you loved, and you were just glad he was home.

And Baby you're all that I want,

When you're lying here in my arms,

I'm finding it hard to believe,

We're in heaven.

During his first mission, after being back, he had proven to still be the loyal soldier he had always been and had unofficially been dubbed the "Hero of Anaxes" for his brave actions.

After this mission he had also been extended the invitation to join The Bad Batch by their sergeant, which he wanted to accept, but not if it meant leaving you behind. So, Echo convinced the commandos that having a mechanic around wouldn't be such a bad idea, and they agreed.

That's how you ended up here, the mechanic onboard the Havoc Marauder, who was currently being held in the arms of the person she loved most in this galaxy, swaying to the soft music filling the air around them, in total bliss.

Love is all that I need,

And I found it there in your heart.

It isn't too hard to see,

We're in heaven.

Your head had been resting against Echo's chest, as you listened to the steady heartbeat beneath it. You never wanted this moment to end, and by the way he was holding you, without any indication of ever letting go, you were pretty sure he felt the same.

You lifted your head to look up at him, while keeping yourself flush against him, needing the contact to silently remind yourself that he was still here, he was with you. Something you still had a hard time believing from time to time, but it was real, he was here, and you were never letting go.

It had been some time since Anaxes, not a tremendous amount, but enough time where you could see a noticeable change in your boyfriend's appearance. He had filled out more and looked a lot less gaunt than he had initially upon his return. His color had improved as well, not fully, but with enough time, you were sure, he'd regain his copper glow. His hair was the other noticeable change, it had started to grow out again, and while it hadn't gotten to the length it was, there was enough where you could easily run your fingers through it, as you often did, absentmindedly.

This thought caused your hand to move of its own accord and slot itself amongst the short curls adorning his head. He gave a contented sigh as you started mindlessly running your fingers over his scalp, scratching lightly, and he leaned into your touch as his eyes closed, this always relaxed him.

After a moment, he opened his eyes to look at you, a soft smile taking shape over his features, before lowering his head to rest it against yours, both of you shutting your eyes to revel in the moment.

We're in heaven.

The music faded and soon the room fell silent. You both ceased your swaying but continued to stay in the embrace.

After what felt like an eternity, but had only been a few seconds, you broke the silence and said, "I love you Echo."

He smiled and replied, "I love you (Y/N). Always and forever."

You gave a smile of your own, the words bringing you back to those early days of your relationship, when anything was possible, and your future was bright. It could be that way again, now that you were together again, nothing was impossible.

"Always and forever", you echoed back.

With that, he closed the small gap between you and brought you into a passionate kiss.

Everything that had gone unspoken was expressed in this kiss; all the love and adoration that had built between you two over the years, all the pain that you both endured during your separation, all the missed time, and the promise that you would never be parted again, and that you would continue to strive for the future you two had planned so long ago. You were happier than you'd ever been and nothing could ruin this moment.

Suddenly, as if the universe itself wanted to prove you wrong, the door slid open and in walked all four commandos, with Wrecker in the lead.

"See, I told ya we'd find them doin' some sappy stuff", Wrecker said in his booming voice, effectively breaking your quiet moment, and your kiss, which in turn, pissed you off.

You both gave an annoyed sigh before turning to face the men. You crossed your arms over your chest and gave your best scowl in their direction, which only caused Wrecker to laugh. He'd so be getting an ass kicking later.

"Let's just be glad we didn't walk in on something... more intimate", Crosshair said, eyeing the both of you while giving a sly grin.

You let out an annoyed huff. "Yeah, you wish", you retorted, which only earned you a chuckle from the sniper. Okay, add another one to the "people who need an ass kicking" list. "I think you're both just jealous", you said, trying to make it sound snarky.

"Of this guy", Wrecker asked as he walked over, clapping his hand down on Echo's shoulder. "Damn straight, I mean, he’s got a bombshell for a girlfriend, how could we not be, he's one lucky bastard", he said, although you couldn't quite tell if he was being sarcastic or not. Either way it ticked you off, but before you could throw the punch you had geared up for, Echo pulled you to him, holding you securely against him and effectively blocking your way to the giant commando.

"Easy cyare, no need for bloodshed, and besides, he has a point", he said, leaning in and lowering his voice, "I am a very lucky man."

You shook your head at him but couldn't help the grin that formed at his words.

"Okay, that's enough boys, let's give the happy couple some privacy shall we. Besides, Wrecker, it's your turn to make dinner", Hunter interrupted, giving his brother a stern look.

"Oh man, again, I thought I just did that", Wrecker grumbled.

"You did, when it was your turn last week", Tech told him matter-of-factly.

Wrecker made a noise of aggravation before leaving the room, mumbling incoherently in displeasure. The other two followed him out, as you gave Hunter a thankful smile before he nodded and made his exit, letting the door slide shut behind him.

You turned back to Echo, who still had you in his embrace.

"So, where were we", you inquired, a soft smile back on your face.

He feigned ponderment. "Hmm, I believe we were right about...", he began, and suddenly pulled you close enough that your noses were touching, "Here", he finished, his smile widening before bringing you in for another heated kiss. You melted into it and fell into another state of bliss.

You stayed like that for another long moment, as the world faded around you. Wrapped in a loving embrace, engaged in an impassioned kiss, and lost in your own personal heaven.

undefined

youtube

#echo x reader #echo x fem reader #echo x y/n #song fic #arc trooper echo #corporal echo #heaven #dj sammy #clone troopers #star wars x reader #clone wars x reader #star wars #star wars the clone wars #fanfiction #fluff

72 notes · View notes

mjvnivsbrvtvs · 3 years

Note

hi! so we have established at this point that you have A Lot Of thoughts about antony and brutus. but how does caesar (julius, not the little bitch octavian) play into that? bc like. my knowledge and impression of them is very limited and mainly constructed from watching hbo rome and idk. i think it'd be fun to throw caesar in the mix. love all the art and writing on your blog btw! have a nice day.

Hey, okay! So this used to be over 30 pages long (Machiavelli and Caligula got involved and that's when things got out of hand), but through the power of friendship and two late night writing dates fueled by coffee, I’ve cut it way down to under 10. Many thanks to the people who listened to me ramble about it at length, and also to a dear friend for helping me cut this down to under ten pages!

Also, thank you! I'm glad you enjoy the stuff I make! It makes me very happy to hear that!

And quickly, a Disclaimer: I’m not an academic, I’m not a classicist, I’m not a historian, and I spend a lot of time very stressed out that I’ve tricked people into thinking I’m someone who has any kind of merit in this area. It's probably best to treat this as an abstract character analysis!

On the other hand, I love talking about dead men, so, with enthusiasm, here we go!

For this, I’m going to cut Shakespeare and HBO Rome out of the framework and focus more on a historical spin.

Caesar is a combination of a manipulator and a catalyst. A Bad Omen. The remaining wound that’s poisoning Rome.

Cassius gets a lot of the blame for Brutus’ turn to assassination, but it overlooks that Brutus was already inclined towards political ambition, as were most men involved in the political landscape of the time.

Furthermore, although Sulla had actually raised the number of praetorships available from six to eight, there were still only two consulships available. There was always the chance that death or disgrace might remove some of the competition and hence ease the bottleneck. But, otherwise, it was at the top of the ladder that the competition was particularly fierce: whereas in previous years one in three praetors would have gone on to become consul, from the 80s BC onwards the chances were one in four. For the senators who had made it this far, it mattered that they should try to achieve their consulship in the earliest year allowed to them by law. To fail in this goal once was humiliating; to fail at the polls twice would be deemed a signal disgrace for a man like Brutus.

Kathryn Tempest, Brutus the Noble Conspirator

The way Caesar offered Brutus political power the way that he did, and Brutus accepting it, locked them into the assassination outcome.

Here is a man who’s built his entire image around honor and liberty and virtu, around being a staunch defender of morals and the republic

In these heated circumstances, Brutus composed a bitter tract On the Dictatorship of Pompey (De Dictatura Pompei), in which he staunchly opposed the idea of giving Pompey such a position of power. ‘It is better to rule no one than to be another man’s slave’, runs one of the only snippets of this composition to survive today: ‘for one can live honourably without power’, Brutus explained, ‘but to live as a slave is impossible’. In other words, Brutus believed it would be better for the Senate to have no imperial power at all than to have imperium and be subject to Pompey’s whim.

Kathryn Tempest, Brutus the Noble Conspirator

and you give him political advancement, but without the honor needed for this advancement to mean anything?

At the same time, however, Brutus had gained his position via extremely un-republican means: appointment by a dictator rather than election by the people. As the name of the famous career path, the cursus honorum, suggests, political office was perceived as an honour at Rome. But it was one which had to be bestowed by the populus Romanus in recognition of a man’s dignitas.69 In other words, a man’s ‘worth’ or ‘standing’ was only really demonstrated by his prior services to the state and his moral qualities, and that was what was needed to gain public recognition. Brutus had got it wrong. As Cicero not too subtly reminded him in the treatise he dedicated to Brutus: ‘Honour is the reward for virtue in the considered opinion of the citizenry.’ But the man who gains power (imperium) by some other circumstance, or even against the will of the people, he continues, ‘has laid his hands only on the title of honour, but it is not real honour’.70

Brutus may have secured political office, then, but he had not done so honourably; nor had he acted in a manner that would earn him a reputation for virtue or everlasting fame.

Kathryn Tempest, Brutus the Noble Conspirator

Brutus in the image that he fashioned for himself was not compatible with the way Caesar was setting him up to be a political successor, and there was really never going to be any other outcome than the one that happened.

The Brutus of Shakespeare and Plutarch’s greatest tragedy was that he was pushed into something he wouldn’t have done otherwise. The Brutus of history’s greatest tragedy was accepting Caesar’s forgiveness after the Caesar-Pompey conflict, and then selling out for political ambition, because Caesar's forgiveness is not benevolent.

Rather than have his enemies killed, he offered them mercy or clemency -- clementia in Latin. As Caesar wrote to his advisors, “Let this be our new method of conquering -- to fortify ourselves by mercy and generosity.” Caesar pardoned most of his enemies and forbore confiscating their property. He even promoted some of them to high public office.

This policy won him praise from no less a figure than Marcus Tullius Cicero, who described him in a letter to Aulus Caecina as “mild and merciful by nature.” But Caecina knew a thing or two about dictators, since he’d had to publish a flattering book about Caesar in order to win his pardon after having opposed him in the civil war. Caecina and other beneficiaries of Caesar’s unusual clemency took it in a far more ambivalent way. To begin with, most of them were, like Caesar, Roman nobles. Theirs was a culture of honor and status; asking a peer for a pardon was a serious humiliation. So Caesar’s “very power of granting favors weighed heavily on free people,” as Florus, a historian and panegyrist of Rome, wrote about two centuries after the dictator’s death. One prominent noble, in fact, ostentatiously refused Caesar’s clemency. Marcius Porcius Cato, also known as Cato the Younger, was a determined opponent of populist politics and Caesar’s most bitter foe. They had clashed years earlier over Caesar’s desire to show mercy to the Catiline conspirators; Cato argued vigorously for capital punishment and convinced the Senate to execute them. Now he preferred death to Caesar’s pardon. “I am unwilling to be under obligations to the tyrant for his illegal acts,” Cato said; he told his son, "I, who have been brought up in freedom, with the right of free speech, cannot in my old age change and learn slavery instead.

-Barry Strauss, Caesar and the Dangers of Forgiveness

something else that's a fun adjacent to the topic that's fun to think about:

The link between ‘sparing’ and ‘handing over’ is common in the ancient world.763 Paul also uses παραδίδωμι again, denoting ‘hand over, give up a person’ (Bauer et al. 2000:762).764 The verb παραδίδωμι especially occurs in connection with war (Eschner 2010b:197; Gaventa 2011:272).765 However, in Romans 8:32, Paul uses παραδίδωμι to focus on a court image (Eschner 2010b:201).766 Christina Eschner (2010b:197) convincingly argues that Paul’s use of παραδίδωμι refers to the ‘Hingabeformulierungen’ as the combination of the personal object of the handing over of a person in the violence of another person, especially the handing over of a person to an enemy.767 Moreover, Eschner (2009:676) convincingly argues that Isaiah 53 is not the pre-tradition for Romans 8:32.

Annette Potgieter, Contested Body: Metaphors of dominion in Romans 5-8

Along with the internal conflict of Pompey, the murderer of Brutus’ father, and Caesar, the figurehead for everything that goes against what Brutus stands for, Brutus accepting Caesar’s forgiveness isn’t an act of benevolence, regardless of Caesar’s intentions.

On wards, Caesar owns Brutus. Caesar benefits from having Brutus as his own, he inherits Brutus’ reputation, he inherits a better PR image in the eyes of the Roman people. On wards, nothing Brutus does is without the ugly stain of Caesar. His career is no longer his own, his life is no longer fully his own, his legacy is no longer entirely his. Brutus becomes a man divided.

And it’s not like it was an internal struggle, it was an entire spectacle. Hypocrisy is theatrical. Call yourself a man of honor and then you sell out? The people of Rome will remember that, and they’re going to make sure you know it.

After this certain men at the elections proposed for consuls the tribunes previously mentioned, and they not only privately approached Marcus Brutus and such other persons as were proud-spirited and attempted to persuade them, but also tried to incite them to action publicly. 12 1 Making the most of his having the same name as the great Brutus who overthrew the Tarquins, they scattered broadcast many pamphlets, declaring that he was not truly that man's descendant; for the older Brutus had put to death both his sons, the only ones he had, when they were mere lads, and left no offspring whatever. 2 Nevertheless, the majority pretended to accept such a relationship, in order that Brutus, as a kinsman of that famous man, might be induced to perform deeds as great. They kept continually calling upon him, shouting out "Brutus, Brutus!" and adding further "We need a Brutus." 3 Finally on the statue of the early Brutus they wrote "Would that thou wert living!" and upon the tribunal of the living Brutus (for he was praetor at the time and this is the name given to the seat on which the praetor sits in judgment) "Brutus, thou sleepest," and "Thou art not Brutus."

Cassius Dio

Brutus knew. Cassius knew. Caesar knew. You can’t escape your legacy when you’re the one who stamped it on coins.

Caesar turned Brutus into the dagger that would cut, and Brutus himself isn’t free from this injury. It’s a mutual betrayal, a mutual dooming.

By this time Caesar found himself being attacked from every side, and as he glanced around to see if he could force a way through his attackers, he saw Brutus closing in upon him with his dagger drawn. At this he let go of Casca’s hand which he had seized, muffled up his head in his robe, and yielded up his body to his murderers’ blows. Then the conspirators flung themselves upon him with such a frenzy of violence, as they hacked away with their daggers, that they even wounded one another. Brutus received a stab in the hand as he tried to play his part in the slaughter, and every one of them was drenched in blood.

Plutarch

For Antony, Caesar is a bad sign.

Brutus and Antony are fucked over by the generation they were born in, etc etc the cannibalization of Rome on itself, the Third Servile War was the match to the gasoline already on the streets of Rome, the last generation of Romans etc etc etc. They are counterparts to each other, displaced representatives of a time already gone by the time they were alive.

Rome spends its years in a state of civil war after civil war, political upheaval, and death. Neither Brutus or Antony will ever really know stability, as instability is hallmark of the times. Both of them are at something of a disadvantage, although Brutus has what Antony does not, and what Brutus has is what let’s him create his own career. Until Caesar, Brutus is owned by no one.

This is not the case for Antony.

You can track Antony’s life by who he’s attached to. Very rarely is he ever truly a man unto himself, there is always someone nearby.

In his youth, it is said, Antony gave promise of a brilliant future, but then he became a close friend of Curio and this association seems to have fallen like a blight upon his career. Curio was a man who had become wholly enslaved to the demands of pleasure, and in order to make Antony more pliable to his will, he plunged him into a life of drinking bouts, love-affairs, and reckless spending. The consequence was that Antony quickly ran up debts of an enormous size for so young a man, the sum involved being two hundred and fifty talents. Curio provided security for the whole of this amount, but his father heard of it and forbade Antony his house. Antony then attached himself for a short while to Clodius, the most notorious of all the demagogues of his time for his lawlessness and loose-living, and took part in the campaigns of violence which at that time were throwing political affairs at Rome into chaos.

Plutarch

(although, in contrast to Brutus, we rarely lose sight of Antony. As a person, we can see him with a kind of clarity, if one looks a little bit past the Augustan propaganda. He is, at all times, human.)

Antony being figuratively or literally attached to a person starts early, and continues politically. While Brutus has enough privilege to brute force his way into politics despite Cicero’s lamentation of a promising life being thrown off course, Antony will instead follow a different career path that echoes in his personal life and defines his relationships.

Whereas some young men often attached or indebted themselves to a patron or a military leader at the beginning of their political lives,

Kathryn Tempest, Brutus the Noble Conspirator

3. During his stay in Greece he was invited by Gabinius, a man of consular rank, to accompany the Roman force which was about to sail for Syria. Antony declined to join him in a private capacity, but when he was offered the command of the cavalry he agreed to serve in the campaign.

Plutarch

To take it a step further, it even defines how he’s perceived today looking back: it’s never just Antony, it’s always Antony and---

It can be read as someone being taken advantage of, in places, survival in others, especially in Antony's early life. Other times, it appears like Antony himself is the one who manipulates things to his favor, casting aside people and realigning himself back to an advantage.

or when he saw an opportunity for faster advancement, he was willing to place the blame on a convenient scapegoat or to disregard previous loyalties, however important they had been. His desertion of Fulvia's memory in 40, and, much later, of Lepidus, Sextus Pompey, and Octavia, produced significant political gains. This characteristic, which Caesar discovered to his cost in 47, gives the sharp edge to Antony's personality which Syme's portrait lacks, especially when he attributes Antony's actions to a 'sentiment of loyalty' or describes him as a 'frank and chivalrous soldier'. In this context, one wonders what became of Fadia.19

Kathryn E Welch , Antony, Fulvia, and the Ghost of Clodius in 47 B.C.

Caesar inherits Antony, and like Brutus, locks him in for a doomed ending.

The way Caesar writes about Antony smacks of someone viewing another person as something more akin to a dog, and it carries over until it’s bitter conclusion.

Caesar benefits from Antony immensely. The people love Antony, the military loves Antony. He’s charming, he’s self aware, he’s good at what he does. Above all of that, he has political ambitions of a similar passion as Brutus.

Antony drew some political benefit from his genial personality. Even Cicero, who from at least 49 did not like him,15 was prepared to regard some of his earlier misdemeanours as harmless.16 Bluff good humour, moderate intelligence, at least a passing interest in literature, and an ability to be the life and soul of a social gathering all contributed to make him a charming companion and to bind many important people to him. He had a lieutenant's ability to follow orders and a willingness to listen to advice, even (one might say especially) from intelligent women.17 These attributes made Antony able to handle some situations very well."1

There was a more important side to his personality, however, which contributed to his political survival. Antony was ruthless in his quest for pre-eminence

Kathryn E Welch , Antony, Fulvia, and the Ghost of Clodius in 477 B.C.

None of this matters, because after all Antony does for Caesar

Plutarch's comment that Curio brought Antony into Caesar's camp is surely mistaken.59 Anthony had been serving as Caesar's officer from perhaps as early as 53, after his return from Syria.60 He is described as legatus in late 52,61 and was later well known as Caesar's quaestor.62 It is more likely that the reverse of the statement is true, that Antony assisted in bringing Curio over to Caesar. If this were so, then he performed a signal service for Caesar, for gaining Curio meant attaching Fulvia, who provided direct access to the Clodian clientela in the city. Such valuable political connections served to increase Antony's standing with Caesar, and to set him apart from other officers in his army.63

Kathryn E Welch , Antony, Fulvia, and the Ghost of Clodius in 477 B.C.

Caesar still, for whatever reasons, fucks over Antony spectacularly with the will. Loyalty is repaid with dismissal, and it will bury the Republic for good.

It’s not enough for Caesar to screw him over just once, it becomes generational and ugly. Caesar lives on through Octavian: it becomes Octavian’s brand, his motif, propaganda wielded like a knife. Octavian, thanks to Caesar, will bring Antony to his bitter conclusion

And for my "bitter" conclusion, I’ll sign off by saying that there are actual scholars on Antony who are more well versed than I am who can go into depth about the Caesar-Octavian-Antony dynamic (and how it played out with Caligula) better than I can, and scholarship on Brutus consists mostly of looking at an outline of a man and trying to guess what the inside was like.

At the end of the day, Caesar was the instigator, active manipulator, and catalyst for the final act of the Republic.

I hope that this was at least entertaining to read!

#i cut out A Lot and its thanks to the patience of Friends that i got it down to the length that it is #like i cannot stress enough that i worked machiavelli into this and started dissecting the whole #brutus-cassius conflict with the framework that it was orchestrated by caesar #typically tho i tend to treat caesar as a symbolic device. a representation of something Very Wrong #this is a tag for asks

12 notes · View notes

mamamittens · 3 years

Text

Long Awaited LoZ Thoughts

I’d like to start this off by explaining my background. I have a BA in English with a minor in Humanities. I have lived all my life in the Bible Belt of America, so my PoV of this series is inevitably going to be, at least in part, from the perspective of a Western-centric, Christianity-influenced woman. I have grown up with a deep interest in folk tales and mythology though, and took several classes on ancient cultures, so my base knowledge of religion all over the world is broader than what you’d probably expect. I am not religious myself, I’m actually agnostic. And this is just an in-universe look at the very strange religion of Hyrule. So, to make things easier, let’s just put aside the obvious meta issues with this world. The wonky timeline, complex lore changes between said timelines, and the fact that the whole series has clearly grown wildly over the course of its development without an overarching plot. The game mechanics being game mechanics. All of it. This whole thing will just be me trying to make sense of the world without the ‘it’s just a game, bro’ crutch. I will be drawing on what I know from the many games I’ve played myself, so if I don’t mention a big piece of lore from a specific game, it’s because I didn’t play it. Go ahead and rule out the early games before Ocarina of Time, as that’s the first game in the series I can remember playing. I was legitimately too young to have ever played anything prior to that, having been born in 1996. Now let’s get started, shall we?

So, obviously everyone knows that the LoZ world is said to begin with the three goddesses. Din, Nayru, and Farore came together to create the world and before they yote themselves out of the narrative as direct players, they created the Triforce. A powerful artifact capable of granting a wish and giving their respective bearers undefined power. This is directly from Ocarina of Time and we see their symbol, the Triforce, all over the many games with very few exceptions. Now, to be clear, having a polytheistic religion with three main gods is hardly new. Hinduism has three main gods after all (Brahma, Vishnu, and Shiva), and depending on your flavor of Christianity, you have the holy trinity (God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit). There’s even the Celtic goddesses that come specifically in threes (collectively called The Morrigan; Eriu, Fodla, and Banba). This isn’t an exhaustive list of three divine beings, by the way, just know that three is a weird trend in western-centric stories, including religion. But what’s different about the three Hyrule Goddesses? Well, they’re weirdly small for big shot gods. Let me explain.

So, the three Hindu gods I mentioned earlier each handle a specific aspect. Creation, destruction, and preservation, not necessarily in that order though (which god does what isn’t the point, so just roll with me here). These are very broad and powerful subjects. Christianity is much the same, even though it’s a monotheistic religion. God is literally an all-powerful, omniscient, omnipotent deity. Jesus is his son who gave his life to basically forgive all sin. And I’m not totally clear on the Holy Spirit, but these three are clearly Big Deals with Big Ideas behind them. A good rule of thumb for old religion is that the older the deity, the wider the scope of their job or what they represent. Which makes sense. If you had to personify the forces of the universe, you’d probably start with the sun instead of like… whatever god is responsible for the creation of rice specifically. The bigger and scarier the natural force, the bigger deal that god usually is, putting aside politics and cultural trends. Egypt is a good example of this, as their roster of gods tended to change a lot depending on who was Pharaoh at the time and wherever the city center was. Horus is the god of the sun, or at least one of them, and is generally considered king of the gods. Which makes perfect sense for a land largely made up of a desert.

But what are the three goddesses’ rulers of? Power, Wisdom, and Courage. Each with clear elemental associations and people that are obviously affiliated with them. Nayru, Goddess of Wisdom, is clearly associated with water and likely has a close connection with the Zora. Din, Goddess of Power, is associated with fire and has clear connection with the Gerudo (unclear if the same goddess as the one present in the desert temple in Ocarina of Time). Farore, Goddess of Courage, is associated with all things green and of the earth, including the child-like race of Kokiri who perpetually inhabit the forest. Sure, these are broad topics, but not really… the first thing you’d think of for creators of the universe, are they? And it raises the question about the Hyrule people, who are said to be able to hear the gods due to their pointed ears… let’s put a pin in that and move on.

So, we know there are many gods in this universe, primarily because we meet them. For example, Zephos, God of Winds, in Wind Waker. But he’s clearly a fairly forgotten god, as he shares a shrine with Cylcos, God of Cyclones, which is about as bare as it can be. Just what appears to be a Tori gate with two stone monuments with the simple notes to summon them, almost completely out of the way. Which… I mean, I don’t know many gods with their extension number written on their monuments. That would kind of like going to church on Sunday and seeing “Hit me up if you need me, J-Boy 555-TAKE THE WHEEL” written on the podium. And remember, this is a world and game where the gods actively flooded the world and would therefore hold or have held enough power to directly interfere with Hyrule.

And Skyward Sword clearly has divine beings, one of which even flooded a whole area, though they’re subservient to Hylia. Who we will get back to later, I promise. The three dragons (again, that magic number), capable of divine power, though where that power comes from in unclear. The dragons are of a high status though, as evident by their servants and clear reference to high-class dress of their clothes. These dragons are revered, but clearly not worshipped, much like nobles in that regard. A curious note is the parallels to the three goddesses, and how the symbols are muddled and mixed for these dragons.

Lanayru clearly has the symbols associated with the Zora, and by extension Nayru, but is yellow. He also is saved by time travel used to grow a magic fruit, which Link often uses (time travel) in many games to advance the plot himself (and wouldn’t you know it, but mixing blue with yellow does produce green. Weird). Faron is the water dragon who flooded an area, and she is almost entirely blue (as well as unsettling to look at), surrounded by a species clearly related to the Zora though closer to octopi. But her name is Faron, which is weirdly close to Farore’s name, not Nayru. I mean, they are close to locations that resemble their names of course, but it’s still an interesting note. Finally, there’s Eldin, clearly bearing a symbol associated with the Gerudo without any strange mixes of symbols for the series. Oddly, he’s also the most open of the three dragons, especially considering the Gerudo’s traditional stance of being a ‘no-sausage’ club. Not terribly relevant, but I just thought it was interesting to point out. You can consider the Giants in Majora’s Mask on the same level as them, though their status is unclear (Since they’re summoned by a song and can stop the moon from falling, they probably straddle the line between mortal and divine).

Now, spirits also exist in this world, both as the ghostly variety and the more pseudo-divine. Not to be confused with actual divinity. Divine being can be spirits, but not all spirits are divine. In this context, spirits can be defined more as being of power capable of granting aid in return for something. Zephos can change the winds if called upon, but you don’t need to feed him, for example. But the spirits in Twilight Princess need aid before they can help you. And they’re also not very independent and are able to be fooled easily, which isn’t usually a god-like quality. While more physically present than the three goddesses, they’re also not strictly tangible, and seem to be extremely limited to their location. At best, these spirits could be classified as minor deities below the gods we see in Wind Waker. They also share the same abilities in keeping the realm of Twilight from falling over the land of Hyrule, as well as their weakness to parasites of undetermined origin. An interesting note is that they all seem to live in bodies of water. Let’s put a pin in that one too.

Someone that also counts as a spirit would be Fi and her counterpart, Ghirahim. Literally two halves of the same coin, these two are both very limited in power and function. They don’t represent anything on their own and are very dependent on others to achieve results. How or why they were made is unclear, but it is obvious that both were forged at some point, and clearly gained sentience. Even their personalities and allegiances are a bit odd. Fi for her sci-fi appearance and calculating personality in a fantasy land, and Ghirahim for his… well, everything. I don’t know why the root of all evil would make his weapon a full-tilt diva, let alone on purpose. Ghirahim always struck me as odd since his bombastic personality seemed to clash with his ultimate fate of just being a weapon for Demise.

Okay, so the Great Fairies are weird, okay?! Like, really weird. They act as spirits (I can’t think of any that aren’t restricted to a body of water in some form), but are very independent. They also don’t necessarily need anything from Link to offer assistance. Sometimes, just opening the fairy fountain is enough to gain items needed to progress. And there’s also the fact that fairies heal you upon ‘death’, though with a limited heart capacity. Sometimes they need you to do something though, like the Breath of the Wild fairies need rupees to function or items to upgrade equipment. They also usually look human, like Majora’s Mask Great Fairies are clearly just… giant women with color coded accessories. But like, they float. Where Great Faires come from, or even just regular fairies, is unclear. Until Wind Waker, Great Faires were adults. But when you finally meet the real Great Fairy in Wind Waker it’s… a child. With a doll that looks just like the ‘Great Fairies’ you’ve seen along the way. This sort of implies that Great Fairies age and die, though clearly with a different lifetime than most races in Hyrule (the child Great Fairy also only looks somewhat human compared to other Great Fairies, so make of that what you will). And it also implies that all the adult Great Fairies are dead (you’re welcome for that depressing thought), with the last one trapped in a hollow tree only accessible by the power of a God.

In Breath of the Wild, the Great Fairies are both diminished but more powerful. They literally are stuck in a giant flower with water in it, with few fairies around them, and require riches to get stronger. The connection to their new restrictions to this need for material wealth is unclear. It’s also interesting to note that their fountains are no longer places that appear to be man-made holy temples and they seem to be out of the way… well, for a given value of ‘out of the way’ (looking at you ninja village). These fairies can accomplish more tasks, but certainly won’t be doing it for free or with minimal effort. A far cry from their first appearances (no, I don’t consider using explosives a difficult task).

But Fairies are also companions with nebulous tasks, such as in Ocarina of Time, where Tatl follows Link until the end of the game. And Kokiri have their own fairy as a sign of whatever accounts for adulthood in their race. The Skull Kid in Majora’s Mask has two fairy friends who seemed to have been either lost or abandoned. Who or what gives them purpose and life is unclear, though the Great Deku Tree from Ocarina of Time can give commands, it doesn’t seem to be something he does normally? As a side note, it’s really not clear what, if anything he can actually do. Though the relative safety of the surrounding area is clearly tied with his wellbeing in all iterations, he doesn’t seem to directly influence it, or be capable of self-defense.

Now, onto the elephant in the room! Hylia! Who the hell is this?! A more recent entry to the series, her divine roll is unclear (though she clearly guards the Triforce in some capacity). It can be assumed that she’s somehow a goddess tied directly to the Hylian people, but when she appeared is up for debate. Timeline wise, it’s almost like knowledge of her was suppressed for some reason, giving rise to the Triforce mythos we all know and love without hide or hair of her seen. We know that she favored the original Link greatly, enough to shed her divinity to be reborn as a mortal and assist him. How or why is also unclear, though it wouldn’t be unfair to assume she loved him, as divine ladies holding an affair with a mortal isn’t uncommon in mythology (or even male gods doing the same, before anyone brings up Zeus). But she makes a resurgence in Breath of the Wild, with statues and everything, with the three goddesses left to only vague references in the background. Which is super weird, though not uncommon for places like Ancient Egypt. The fact that the ruling family was literally descendant from a goddess is what makes it weird though, since any monarchy worth their salt would milk that until the peasant folk revolted and made a new religion to justify killing a god.

Zelda in every incarnation is literally descendant from the original and still held at least a fraction of that divine power. So much so that a cornerstone of a powerful religious artifact inevitably ends up in her hands (or on the back of her right hand, as it were). But what is Hylia a Goddess of? We don’t know. It’s never said. Anywhere. And that’s super weird, even for a ubiquitous deity. Sure she’s a Goddess of Hyrule but… what does that mean? That can’t be all she is? Her reincarnation is literally locked in a generational struggle against the forces of darkness! What can she do as a Goddess? Well, she makes Link stronger in return for items, but that seems to be it. In Ocarina of Time, Zelda was capable of sending Link back to the past, but that was with a magic item. And we know Hylia isn’t the Goddess of Time, because Zelda references her in Majora’s Mask (sequel to Ocarina of Time, therefore implying that there are more gods unmentioned at that time), when Hylia should be mortal or at least fragmented (because Zelda exists at the time with powers and a Triforce piece). The Guardian of Time in Hyrule Warriors also fell in love with Link before splitting into Cia and Lana (and was unable to fuse back together again), so it’s unlikely that she’s the Goddess of Time Zelda was referring to, though that detail is interesting to note. No, I will not discuss if Hyrule Warriors is canon (either game), as this is already long enough as it is.

So, that brings us to Ganon, or in his original form, Demise. Which… what’s up with that? Who is this guy? He directly opposes the gods and just… gets away with it! Repeatedly! Sure, he loses most of the time, but still. It’s unclear where Demise came from, or even what he is, though judging by Ghirahim’s ‘Demon Lord’ title, it can be assumed that he is some type of demon himself. And that the many monsters we see are also considered demons, which makes sense with how they always work for Demise (or his many iterations) in some form or another. Considering how much it takes to simply seal him away, he can’t be just a demon though.

Demise obviously pulled the same trick Hylia did, which directly sets him up as a counterpart to her, but what does it mean? Why would he do that? What is Demise that he can’t be beat with the power of a Goddess alone and needs not only a brave knight but a blade literally made to counter him? Within the context of religion, the best guess I can make is that he’s some form of a God of Darkness, possibly also Temptation, Greed, and Pigs Corruption. It fits within the narrative since power is often the strongest form of temptation and we know that demons capable of opposing the gods exist. The Horned Statue literally takes Hylia’s blessings in exchange for wealth, and was turned into a statue for it. What it stands to gain from any of it is unclear, but interestingly enough, Hylia doesn’t mind that it closely resembles her own statues. So, this raises the question… why isn’t Demise a forgotten statue somewhere along a dusty road? How did he curse(?) both a reborn goddess and a human in an eternal struggle for the fate of Hyrule?

Being a god is about the only explanation for why he can do the things that he does. It explains why, in every incarnation, he ends up a rule (like Zelda). How he controls so many different species with ease. He corrupts the conflicted as easily as breathing. An interesting note is how Demise in his many forms usually ends up corrupting once good forces in some way, typically with parasites or evil spirits. And with this context, Hylia must be a Goddess of Light, and possibly some form of Will and Purity to oppose Demise’s power. It would also make her a good candidate for looking after the Triforce in that case. And yet we don’t know any of this for sure either, which is, again, very strange considering their presence from the very beginning. Literally.

Now, I want to mention the temples as a last point before wrapping this up, because it has bothered me since I was a wee little whipper snapper. For a place of worship, they sure are hard to navigate, even when they’re empty of monsters. And it’s not like Hyrule doesn’t get this, because the Temple of Time in Ocarina of Time is straight up a church. Just… without pews, so clearly not perfect, but it is possible for people to come in and… worship time, I guess. And no, not the Goddess of Time, because there’s no statue for that. I mean, I know it’s secretly hiding the Master Sword, but it is definitely a church otherwise. What a normal service looks like I can’t say for sure, but it’s definitely not like literally any other temples we see.

Now, I know it’s a little hard to remember, but temples are usually places where one goes to worship the gods (or even just a god). And we know gods exist in a very real way in Hyrule! They still manage to name Zelda the same thing despite having seemingly buried their divine origins, so some knowledge of gods walking the mortal realm exists. But the temples/dungeons we see usually don’t have much in the way of religious iconography, with a few exceptions (interestingly it’s typically the desert area that actually has statues and could feasibly have had a real capacity for worship). You want to be a devout follower of a god anywhere else? Well, fuck you. Hope you brought a sword and a good pair of boots. If you’re allowed inside at all, since it’s usually the local leaders that are only allowed inside for some reason. And most games don’t seem to have very religious people, despite all the references to divinity. Not like we’d expect them to, at least. And I personally can’t blame them. If I tried to join a religion but found only a wall as an entrance, I’d be pretty disheartened too. Then I’d be pretty pissed to find out I needed not only a royal instrument handed down the monarchy, but their freaking lullaby to even get in to the place of worship. But we know they pray to the gods at least semi-often, since that’s one of the inciting incidences in Wind Waker. And they have offering to statues of Hylia.

The temples suggest the bar to impress the gods is pretty high, and not in a ‘sacrifice your eldest child’ kind of way. To even get the chance to reach the inner chambers you better hope it’s been kept well and that you didn’t skip leg day recently. Something I didn’t really mention before is that usually, the less involved the gods are, the more independent the people are from worship. If you worry that your local deity will flood your fields, you’re probably leaving regular offerings at their nearby shrine or temple. But if you know that the gods don’t care about literally anything you do, why worship them at all? Why make statues, art, or temples? Why bother with any of it? The answer is you don’t. So these highly selective temples are pretty weird unless you go with the idea the gods are just really done with people and never want to talk to them unless absolutely necessary.

So, I’ve rambled for over twelve pages now. What’s the point? What does any of this mean? I’m honestly not sure, but I have a sinking feeling that there’s some serious shit going on in the Hyrule pantheon. Mortals have been mostly abandoned to their doom. Gods cast out and forgotten entirely. And somehow advanced civilizations keep forming and getting destroyed with only remnants left behind with zero explanation. Assuming the original gods are even alive at this point, which I’m not entirely certain of. Their death certainly explains how Demise/Ganon keeps getting stronger, looking less and less Hylian as time goes on, if he looks humanoid to begin with.

I wouldn’t even assume it’s entirely voluntary at this point either, as Ganon clearly doesn’t have the same motivations in every incarnation (see my previous post about Wind Waker). I’m rather excited about Breath of the Wild 2, as the implications of dehydrated husk Ganon is compelling. Particularly in light of the character development Link and Zelda have received in the first Breath of the Wild. I wouldn’t be surprised if Ganon/Demise turns out to be a fallen god trying to get back home (a nice parallel to Wind Waker, actually), cast out as a scape goat. Blamed for every form of corruption and greed that naturally follows in his wake. I think I said this before, but it is interesting that he is always reborn among the Gerudo, a race famously all females. Sometimes thieves, but nearly always in a position that would naturally crave power to take control of their lives compared to Hylians. Regardless of the consequences.

Is it true? I don’t know. Probably not, but the fact that I can draw these conclusions in three hours of writing is pretty neat. I have a lot of feelings about this franchise, having grown up with it, but I eagerly await what comes next. And I should probably go to bed. Make of all this what you will.

21 notes · View notes

ralthings · 4 years

Text

A Give-and-Take Relationship

I found this really great analysis on Khun Bam relationship on Lofter, by ytaamiacthoi. Thought I’d translate it here for everyone to see.

This was posted after S3 Ch66. Do not read if you have not caught up yet.

The translation begins.

SIU is really good in this. There’s always contrast in the development and expression of their relationship.

For both of them, their feelings always mirror each other, there’s give and take between them, I refuse to believe that it’s not carefully crafted on purpose, even how they overcame the traumas of their past are compared with each other. Let’s not go into details here, but start with more obvious examples. The ones that left a deeper impression on me are these three incidents, for instance, the two times when they hugged each other (of course even when SIU didn’t draw it out they probably hugged countless of times before this)

Bam rushes towards Khun.

Khun rushes towards Bam.

Doesn’t it feel like returning home? It’s totally rushing back to where you belong.

When both of them run towards each other, they adapted a pose of acceptance and support. In the first instance, Khun just recovered and didn’t want Bam to worry. Similarly, Bam didn’t want Khun to worry under those circumstances.

On the other hand, Hwaryun and Bam is kind of like how Isu is to Khun. They’re both “friends” or “sibling”-like characters whom they share a close bond and can have heart-to-heart talks with.

Hwaryun’s famous quote: Hey, it was Khun, not me!

Bam didn’t think that Khun made him do it. Whatever Khun says, he’ll accept it all. Basically Bam wouldn’t blame Khun. It clearly shows that Khun has a different status in Bam’s heart.

This concept also reappeared later, unusually conspicuously, in Bam’s attitude towards “Khun using the dead souls to revive White”.

Everyone knows about this double standard Khun applies:

[TN: author refers to the fact that Khun refused to let anyone touch his head, but pats Bam’s head like there’s no tomorrow]

Next let’s look at how important they are towards each other:

Khun expressed his fear in losing Bam, and made a request.

This is the first time Bam explicitly made a request of Khun. And the main point Bam focused on is Khun’s safety - White isn’t a nice person after all: Bam is also afraid of losing Khun.

It’s a little different from the request to climb the tower together. Here, it’s more like both are making a request during the process of fostering an intimate bond, telling the other half your needs, in order to fortify the relationship.

Khun’s love has the characteristics of sacrifice and contribution, while Bam’s has the characteristics of “acceptance”. Acceptance meaning - I know all of your strengths and flaws, but I will embrace them, and I won’t dislike you for them. It’s not about liking you because of what you did, but accepting all of you because it’s you.

Personally I think Khun is attracted to this aspect of Bam: Khun also needs salvation. He needs to be valued as he is, to be loved as he is. And not to have his value judged by his abilities, or whether he is useful to others - Bam gave Khun this sense of security from the very beginning. With his actions, Bam showed Khun that he is irreplaceable, and one of a kind. That Khun does not need to be a tool, or to desperately showcase his “usefulness” to others. That Bam can forgive and accept all of Khun, and that Khun’s existence is the most precious part about him.

And when Khun wants retract into his shell, Bam would reach out to him gently.

Bam is very careful. He doesn’t want to lose Khun, but he is also very respectful of Khun’s wishes.

At any rate who asked Khun to only fall for this lmao

But firstly Khun is already used to doing this, and secondly Bam appears to be kind to everyone (although the reasons for doing so are different), a lot of people helped out as well. Both their relationship are gradually developed throughout the years.

Why is that Bam always reaches out to Khun at the right time? Because whenever Khun gives his attention to Bam, Bam would immediately pick up on it. Bam would always give his undivided attention to Khun. Whether there’s something wrong with Khun, whatever Khun needs, Bam is able to tell at first glance. (It’s a type of instinct developed from attentiveness, understanding and trust over the long term) Just because Bam doesn’t say it, doesn’t mean that he doesn’t know.

Take note, that Khun responds to tenderness rather than tough love. Both their emotions are connected, whenever Khun blames himself or self-reflects, it’s often built upon him noticing Bam’s concerns / worries about him. (For the rest, it’s when Khun experiences helplessness towards Bam’s sufferings, that is Khun’s intrinsic concerns and worries for Bam).

And Bam had, before this, sacrificed himself for Khun for as long as six years (to protect Khun and others, he stayed by himself in FUG. This is something Khun will always remember).

Bam is also first person to place unconditional trust in Khun.

Since before it all began, Khun had already received very precious things from Bam.

To be honest, Bam’s powers had a similar quality - absorption / acceptance. Examples: extremely fast learning speed (acceptance of knowledge), the souls from White, Thorn, Red Thryssa etc. (makes it like a minimart....) I think perhaps the quality of the irregulars’ powers have some connection with their personalities. Of course this is not the main point.

Bam’s acceptance towards the others is different from Khun. Back when he just entered the tower, he exhibited this quality fully. When Black March asked if Rachel is the most beautiful woman in the tower, Bam replied:

For the current Bam, this place is already taken by Khun.

Khun isn’t as perfect as his appearance; impatient, likes to complain, always lies to himself, but these doesn’t matter. It doesn’t change the fact that Khun is the most precious person to Bam.

Bam also expresses his acceptance and accommodation towards Khun in their relationship. On one hand, Khun always goes with Bam’s decisions; but in terms of emotions, Bam goes with Khun’s. Whenever Khun wishes to provide, Bam would accept all of it, without any hints of rejection. Khun needs Bam to need him; accepting Khun’s providence is the best reciprocation Bam can give to Khun. Bam gave Khun a form of acceptance without words. Khun didn’t want Bam to know, and Bam, knowing this, didn’t look too deeply into it. But in reality Bam understands this clearer than anyone else.

When Bam faces others, he’s actually the type to keep a distance, and not accept others easily, nor rely or depend on others. If Bam’s acceptance towards the others originate from his values of respect and quality, his acceptance towards Khun stems from the fact that Khun is too important to him.

Khun’s emotions towards Bam is very well expressed in the original webtoon, so it won’t be elaborated much here. But an important point is: Bam gave Khun a sense of “security”, as if he became a “person”. Khun also gave Bam a safe harbour, and helped him achieve his growth. They help each other become a better version of themselves. They look out for each other’s real selves, their fragility, and work hard to understand and accept each other.

There’s a need to repost this screenshot again:

If it wasn’t for the fact that this is honestly extremely dangerous, that one wrong move and Khun could’ve been eaten by White, Bam would probably just go along with Khun and pretend not to know about this.

Because Bam knows that Khun doesn’t want him to know.

And Khun also probably guessed that Bam knows Khun doesn’t want to let him know.

And Khun immediately knew the hidden meaning between the lines, he knew what Bam was trying to say as soon as Bam spoke the above lines to him: Khun, I still ended up using the souls’ power, what should I do?

A very helpless feeling. It’s a concern towards Khun, an assurance towards Khun, an understanding of Khun. (1. I know you did this for me. 2. I understand you, it’s alright even if you did this, I won’t hate you, you are still the most important person to me), and also a help signal to Khun (even I didn’t notice Bam’s sign for help).

Only Khun could comprehend Bam’s thoughtfulness, his kind but sensitive heart, and his lack of security. Khun understood that, and took the initiative to reach out. Similarly, he told Bam, and held him: Don’t be afraid, I’ll forgive you, and accept/embrace all of you.

Bam also understand Khun too well. They need each other, hopes that they will be needed by each other, and also knows what they have done for each other.

When Bam is hurt, he actually likes to retreat to himself, like a crab or snail - he needs a gentle tug, not a rough one - to come out of it.

They honestly understand each other’s feelings

Last point - when Khun began to hug Bam, his body was leaning forward. But as you read, you’ll realise that Khun gradually straightened his back, and Bam finally grasped Khun’s back tightly. This means that with Khun’s initial hug, Bam relaxed from an uptight state, and wilfully buried himself into Khun’s embrace, to consciously seek help from Khun. In front of Khun, Bam easily let his guard down, instead of trying to push through. Khun also accepted Bam’s display of weakness; just like how Bam naturally accepted all of Khun. At this moment, they are not in the middle of a war, just them in each other’s tight embraces. This is a space that belongs to just two of them.

Here Khun was still actively pulling Bam into his embrace

Here, Khun had straightened his back, and Bam was basically burying himself into Khun’s embrace.

Khun’s back is straightened.

Perhaps the shift in stance and center of gravity symbolises the state of their emotions as they journeyed together. Their relationship is dynamic, spiralling upwards, and here it achieves its balance.

Ahh they basically assimilated each other into their own lives

I really think Bam probably cried

Bam wouldn’t do this to any other person.

And among the reasons for Bam’s feelings of self-blame, it likely includes his guilt towards Khun. It’s him who gave Khun no choice but to face such danger, but even when faced with this choice, he really doesn’t want to lose Khun at all. How helpless, perhaps it’s only through the embrace that they can truly acknowledge each other.

At this moment, the hug is more than a thousand words.

To add to this, I’ve read stories where there are various stages of relationship during a disaster - when they don’t know each other well, the girl would probably say “don’t leave me alone”, after a while, she’d probably say “just leave me and save yourself”, but at the current stage, the girl doesn’t need to say anything, because she understood the importance of trust in each other.

Khun and Bam probably reached this final stage: they work with each other, need each other, trust each other, rely on each other. They won’t leave each other from now on, because they are already inseparable.

You ask what kind of relationship this is? It’s just this, really can’t fit a third party in so what’s the difference in definition. At any rate their relationship can be of any nature, play any role for each other, but basically they are the only one in each other’s lives.

I really suspect that Bam’s acceptance towards Khun had reached the point where no matter what Khun wants, what Khun becomes (in terms of relationship), he would accept it gracefully (as long as Khun needs it). Even though Bam’s acceptance seems to have no ceiling to it, but Khun wouldn’t abuse it. Khun seems to approach his relationships with some sort of sacred, selfless sacrifice, he wouldn’t think about tainting his sacred relationship with Bam. Sorry I’m a little delusional here.

But who says Love is only limited to romantic love. I think they can be anything for each other. No matter what, they are the most important, and the most special in each other lives, something that’s irreplaceable by anyone.

They can stop climbing the tower, but they can’t not have each other.

In the end:

Contrast before and after the hug:

Before the hug:

Bam is completely disoriented.

(Yama comments that he’s in an excellent state. Just look at his face how is this state excellent at all lol)

After the hug:

Bam is obviously much better. Determined and calm. Maybe this is the power of love?

Actually objectively speaking, it’s the right decision to continue attacking the Nest right after. Hwaryun’s verdict is the the same as what Khun usually would’ve taken for others, what Hwaryun said is also what Khun usually would’ve told others. But in this case, the person in question is Bam.

You can’t think straight when it’s the person you care about.

Adding Hwaryun’s comments:

#tower of god #baam #khun #bamkhun #khunbam #tog #tog analysis #baamkhun #khunbaam #s3ch66

200 notes · View notes

crazyclownthanos · 3 years

Text

Karra Marron

“I already know my worth and I don’t needed to be told by anyone”

“Passing on the will of Noelle Silva? Sounds fun I’m raring to go!!”

Character Information

Meet Karra Marron! Magna’s and Sol’s second child a commoner of the clover kingdom

Karra is the leading female protagonists in White Clover and is a member of the generations fearsome three

Latin, Irish, Gaelic origin meaning “beloved”

Alias

Delinquents Daughter (the villagers)

Will carrier of Noelle Silva

Little Rascal (By Sol & Magna)

General Infromation

Status: alive

Species: Human

Gender: Female

Affinity: Compound of Earth and Flame

Age: 11 (at the start of White Clover)

Birthday: April 17th

Constellation: Aries

Height: 149cm

Weight: 40kg (88.18p)

Blood type: A

Eyes: purple

Hair: light brown

Apperance

Karra is taller than the average 11 year old usually being 144cm while standing at 149cm.

Karra has neck length light brown hair, brown skin and purple eyes.

Karra’s regular clothing style would be a sleeveless top with white borders on each side with a few tares, navy blue shoulder length glove on her left arm that shows all her fingers except for the thumb connected to the sleeve and tied around her waist is a blue jacket with cotton on the borders she normally wears in winter. For the bottom Karra wears navy blue baggy pants and brown boots

Personality

Karra is the total oppsoite to Noelle. Because of her home environment of masculinity and femininity Karra just dosen’t care about gender and even mentioned once that dating both men & women are fine to her though growing up in a family where her parents argue about cereal every morning (usually) Karra has grown dense to love assuming marriage is all about arguing. Unlike Noelle Karra tends to be more open and isn’t afraid to be herself around anyone and not to mention her rowdy with her older brother. Any time a challenges occurs Karra is always the first to raise her hand and the last to runaway. When it comes down to business Karra knows when to be silly and when not to be in dire situations often relying on her strength to solve it.

Traits

Dense

Feminist

Dumb

Strong

Brave

Faithful

Extremely dumb

Relationships

Family

Magna Marron

Karra has always been a “daddy’s girl” from their love of spicy food to their wild and predacious personalities and because of Magna’s soft side he grew to have a connection for Karra from the moment he held her. Aside from all the cute shenanigans Magna and Karra are always the first ones to start a fist on fist rally

Sol Marron

Karra and Sol share the same traits of being both feminists. Sol cares deeply for Karra and has always been worried of her well being being afraid of her going through the same thing she went through as child. Karra is honestly the proudest daughter alive to have Sol as a mother being a member of the blue rose knights Karra would go on for ages on how amazing her mother is and her magic attribute though she never understood why she use to be attached to Charlotte for many years

Karra’s older brother

Karra and her older brother always had a close sibling connection both having an age gap of 4 years (Him being 15 at the start of White Clover and Karra being 11) aside from that Karra and him grew up both ruffians though he started growing a habit of being more tired and sleeping more and the duties as a magic knight leaving no room in his sechuldue to spend to time with Karra. Standing from the bigger picture these will always love each other

Fearsome 3 or New Light Triad

Ace Silva

Ace and Karra have known each other since diaper days and because of their dads close friendship they would always have play dates. Karra views Ace as her closest friend and wouldn’t hestitate to give up her life for him though at some stages Ace can get a little awkard and can seem nervous around her which only makes Karra confused but she pushes that thought away and overall appreciates him and everything he’s done for her

Mirage Aldai

As well as Ace, Mirage and Karra have known each other since diaper days. These two had always have that relaxed persona, sometimes Mirage has to play “mother’ in Karra’s reckless and mindless states. Primarily Karra shows a deep interest in Mirage’s magic affinity of Forcefield and sees unlimited potential in him and tells him every time whenever he used his magic yet Mirage does get nervous when’s he’s openly compimented leading Mirage in being a hot red mess however Karra tries to control this and not openly compliment him.

Others

Noelle Silva

Noelle is Karra’s mentor and the will carrier of Noelle’s legacy of the light triad. Despite their difference in magic affinities Noelle always wanted a student like how Mereoleona was to her mother Acier then Karra came along and made her life a little more brighter. Karra had always loved Noelle and always admired her strength and courage and would never get tired of her stories of her fighting on the battlefield and wanted to aim to be like her, Karra even asked her mother she wanted to live with Noelle when she got older.

Genji

Karra thinks of Genji as an emotionless robot who suffers to show emotion but when she does she’s always pointing it out, always cussing him headaches and trouble. Karra’s opnion on Genji is currently the person out of everyone they had less interactions with but always like starting a teasing partying for him.

Battle powers

Magic

Compound Magic/dual affinity: Karra possess the ability to use Flame and Earth magic but unfortunately the two however Karra can manipulate the crust of the earth and create as well manipulate hell fire and create fire

Creation Magic: Karra uses this form of magic to shape objects and entities from Fire & Earth

Abilities

Immense magic power: Its nearly impossible for commoners to wield such large magic power people assume that’s because she has two magic attributes she gets the upperhand but there might be another reason why she posses such high magic power, Karra has proven this from being able to use her hands underground to generate large mana to the point where she could move one of the teutonic plates without the need of a grimoire

High Durablity: Karra maintains a high durability through the toughest situations in a sparring match against Yami Karra was able to stand on her own and even able to him with 2 attacks

Enhanced Strength: Karra is nowhere near as strong as Asta but for her age group she is mightier even being able to carry both her parents if she eats the right nutrients in the daily

Creative Mana: Both of Sol’s children inherited her creative mana, able to create weapons & beings out of Earth and Fire if in the right environment

Neglected by Mana: The disturbance of mana waves in ones own body can cause affects of complication one having immense magic power and low mana read. Vice versa.

Mana moves: Being neglected by mana Karra cannot do simple hand signal spells she has to do body movement spells

Weapons

War Hammer: Karra can create a war hammer out of flame obstructed by earth this one of the only ways Karra can use both Earth & Fire magic

Physical Strength 4/5

Magic Amount 5/5

Magic Control 3/5

Magic Sensing 1/5

Cleverness 4/5

Toughness 5/5

Trivia

Karra was inspired by Korra from legend of Korra

Karra’s favorite food is Spicy Grilled Salmon Kabobs

Karra likes are mud baths and vine swinging

Karra has a strange fear of squirrels

Favorite color is blue

It’s estimated that if Karra wanted to become a Wizard king she’ll achieve it at the ages of 18-20

She easily forgets named

#White Clover #Karra Marron #Character Information #Joe Biden

20 notes · View notes

bookspined · 3 years

Text

❝ that’s all history is after all: scar tissue. ❞

{ cis-man, he/him } huh, who’s FROY GUTIERREZ? no, you’re mistaken, that’s actually SCORPIUS MALFOY. he is a TWENTY-TWO year old PUREBLOOD wizard who is A HEALING APPRENTICE. he is known for being CAPTIOUS, RETICENT, FACETIOUS, DISMISSIVE, and DRAMATIC but also RESOURCEFUL, CONSCIENTIOUS, FERVENT, INNOVATIVE, and OBSERVANT, so that must be why he always reminds me of the song IN DREAMS BY BEN HOWARD. i hear he is aligned with THE ORDER OF THE PHOENIX, so be sure to keep an eye on him. { merry, 24, gmt, she/they }

CHARACTER PARALLELS: Amy Santiago (B99), Claire Temple (Daredevil), Chidi Anagonye (The Good Place), Giles (Buffy TVS), Michelle Jones (MCU), Simon Tam (Firefly), Elizabeth Swan (PoTC), Spock (Star Trek), Clarke Griffin (The 100), Harley Keener (MCU), Gregory House (House) suggested honorable mention Gizmo (Gremlins)

pinterest [blood, medical imagery tw]

wanted connection ideas

Full Name: Scorpius Hyperion Malfoy Gender/Pronouns: Cis man | he/him Age: Twenty-three Birthdate: January 20th Parents: Draco Lucius Malfoy & Astoria Céline Malfoy (née Greengrass) [Not biologically Astoria’s due to her health, if you ever point this out he’ll flay your eyeballs] Siblings: N/A. Birth place: St. Mungo’s Hospital, England Height: 5’11” Weight: 56 kg Sexual/Romantic Orientation: Demiromantic Bisexual Nationality: British Body Alterations/Marks: A ragged diamond shape scar at the base of his throat.

Blood Status: Pureblood Hogwarts House: Slytherin Wand Arm: Right Pet: His pet toad, Jarvis, recently passed away. Patronus: Arctic Fox Wand: 11 2/3 inches, Willow, Supple, Dragon Heartstring.

Willow is an uncommon wand wood with healing power, I have noted that the ideal owner for a willow wand often has some (usually unwarranted) insecurity, however well they may try and hide it. While many confident customers insist on trying a willow wand (attracted by their handsome appearance and well-founded reputation for enabling advanced, non-verbal magic) my willow wands have consistently selected those of greatest potential, rather than those who feel they have little to learn. It has always been a proverb in my family that he who has furthest to travel will go fastest with willow.

Personality Traits: Brilliance, innovative, empathetic, individuality, openness, social consciousness, inventive, logical, practical skills and self assertion; lack of attachment to people outside his circle and the “real world,” over-intellectualizing of the emotions, dismissive, anxious, crotchety tempered, facetious, rigid, prone to self-isolation, intellectual arrogance, and stubborn. Zodiac Sign: Aquarius/Capricorn Cusp Moral Alignment: Neutral Good Core values: Loyalty, Knowledge, Hope Four temperaments: Melancholic

HOGWARTS HOUSE ANALYSIS

Slytherin Primary and a Burned Ravenclaw Secondary.

Slytherin Primaries prioritize their own selves and loved ones first. Slytherins don’t feel guilty or selfish about this– they feel righteous and moral. The most important thing is to look after your own. Abandoning or hurting one of your own is the worst thing you can do.

A Burned Ravenclaw Secondary might want to be skilled, curious, and prepared, but they feel like they are (or like people think they are) limited, clumsy, or inconstant. Gathering knowledge, hobbies, skills, or tools is the right way to achieve their goals, but Burned Ravenclaws know that’s not going to work within their capabilities. So they take other paths and use other tools– maybe a Gryffindor’s bluntness, a Slytherin’s flexibility, or a Hufflepuff’s slow and steady dedication.

You may have a Hufflepuff Secondary Model.

Hufflepuff is the House of grit, reliability, and determination, and Hufflepuffs use those values to help live, act, and succeed. If you model Hufflepuff Secondary, you also value these things and like to live by them. You like to be hardworking, dedicated, and consistent– but you wouldn’t feel guilty for abandoning those values in the service of other, higher priorities. If there’s another, easier way to get what you want– you’d take it. You think hard work provides valuable rewards– and those rewards are why you work. The work doesn’t have persuasive value in itself.

Despite his very best resistance he’s always been pretty empathetic in nature, he tries to rule his emotions as well as he can but fails more often than not. He was always one of those toddlers that if another kid started crying he’d be right along with them, not because he wanted attention but because he just couldn’t not. A bit of a crybaby, has researched how to magically seal up his tear ducts. Obviously managed to keep the family’s flair for the dramatic there as well. After a few years he leant into the sarcastic vague-snobbishness to hide the core of overwhelming anxiety.

Just managed to scrape through his schooling with nearly all top grades, this isn’t really due to him being a model student. He has always accrued information with a voracious appetite. Any knowledge he could find, even if most people would consider it entirely useless. His mind clicks into that place? You can’t keep him away. However, when there is not an immediate stir of interest on his approach to a topic he has to fight with himself tooth and nail to carry on.

Predictably found exam season highly stressful, was never open about it but was quietly competitive and silently smug over his good grades. Could comprehend well above his reading level from an early age and would often look into experimental research and complicated magic but found himself lost in OWL level History of Magic when chapter upon chapter lay ahead of him about something that didn’t catch his interest. Some people he beat just to spite cause he hates them. It worked, whatever.

Tends toward introversion and finds himself tired sometimes quite easily by a large amount of social interaction. Witty and big-mouthed when he feels comfortable or is in the presence of those that embolden him and very likely to get flustered and snap at people when things are becoming a bit too much. Especially if he feels however unjustly that someone is blocking his escape. Has matured slightly in this since leaving school but it happens still, he’s just anxious. Quite fickle and can at the drop of a hat decide that he’s done with you for the day once his Give Me Attention Meter is maxed. Could be an absolute bloody brat when he felt like it but feels he has grown out of it, which he mostly has.

Always been very, very aware of many people’s distrust of him and his family, he used to sneer and play it up if anyone tried to bring up his dad and go on the offensive but was genuinely affected quite deeply by it all. In his early school years, despite his weakness to the cold, he constantly had his sleeves rolled up to the elbow so that his blank forearm was bared as a statement to just about everyone. I am not marked, I never will be. Now he’s older he has more of a handle on things and can be diplomatic in situations where people are clearly discomforted by his presence and his family history.

Even though the war culminated far earlier in this verse I imagine Scor would have had to have been relatively sheltered as a child if not for how emotionally sensitive and prone to periods of ill-health he was, it was definitely for his own safety. He is still the grandson of a known high-ranking Death Eater and that made him a media target and put one on his back for anyone else that might happen to be watching.

Never produced much of a talent for offensive magic and wouldn’t resort to those methods unless he had literally no other choice, not a front line fighter by any means. His talents with strategy, potion-making, healing and his perseverance with defensive magic are what define him to the Order. While everyone kind of knows who he hung out with at school and who his friends are he is deliberately very mischievous with releasing rumours and misleading people. He deliberately keeps his cards very close to his chest so most people don’t know that he is aligned with anyone, he usually uses glamours or a scarf to conceal his identity if he has to.

While he is knowledgeable about healing and anatomy, he is the WORST at taking care of himself. The literal embodiment of Healers make the worst patients, tends to forgo sleep and basic bodily needs if he’s locked into what he’s focusing on. Sometimes needs reminders to sleep and eat, like a child.

Healing is the most satisfying part of his life and he would never give it up, he likes to experiment as he has a fascination with magic and muggle science and where they might intersect. A fucking nerd honestly. While he thinks he’s being fairly subtle about it a large part of his academic life has been doused in research into blood maledictions, for obvious reasons. He does his best not to flutter too obviously around his Mum. She is capable and ten times stronger than he is.

Lives in a small studio flat in Diagon Alley that is mostly stacks of books and makeshift shelves.

the stillness of the world the moment you take the first step into fresh snow, cashmere and fine wool, the pearlescence of dreamless sleep draught, the scratch of a quill on parchment, faintly tremoring fingers, a shiver up your spine in a warm room, the exhilaration of a problem solved, a thunderous grey overcast sky, the bite of a stitching charm, sleeves rolled up to the elbows, petrichor, the burn in your eyes before a well of tears.

Always had somewhat fragile health tending toward sickly. Hands are never warm, his existence is an endless heat seeking mission.

Went to one Slug Club meeting and used his time to verbally berate and or challenge most of the contacts in attendance, he was not asked to return.

Potions Club, Charms Club, used to sometimes be willing to be dragged to Dueling Club but didn’t enjoy himself.

Plays quite a bit of chess.

Bruises like a fucking peach and scars so easily.

Views quidditch as a good fly spoiled.

Is a very skilled pianist almost entirely due to his Grandmother’s tutelage.

Surprisingly great with children/toddlers/babies, no one including himself expected this, he mostly feared them beforehand.

Bit of a mummy’s boy in that he practically GLOWS when people talk of Astoria’s achievements.

When he has time off from healing he will have chipped black nail varnish on.

Highly intelligent but rarely manages to match a pair of socks, chews his quills but no one else’s.

While very eloquent and well spoken, he is markedly less posh than when he first arrived at Hogwarts.

When he isn’t prone to bouts of insomnia he can take a nap pretty much anywhere. He was once found in a tree after several frantic hours search.

[ CREDIT : CHARACTER PSD template by @karmahelper (defunct url) I tried to find a current social this week by messaging around but couldn’t find anything unfortunately. Forgot to copy this over from the google doc! ]

#potterintro #finally #sorry if this is missing anything

23 notes · View notes

lavendermilkandhoney · 3 years

Text

5/22 The Emperor – Saburo Arasaka

In Game

The Emperor represents patriarchal control and is pleased with the authority and power he possesses to shape the future. The Emperor makes the rules and enforces them for the common good. But prestige has its dark sides – the Emperor is dominating and ruthless and will climb over a mountain of bodies to achieve his aim.

Location

You can find this card on the left side of the wall at Konpeki Plaza's entrance located at the Arasaka Waterfront in Watson.

Zodiac Sign : Aries

The Emperor is applied to the Aries horoscope sign for the authority and power of the sign reflected by the tarot card. Aries as the first astrological placement symbolizing the first spark of flame. The sign of Aries belongs to the elemental grouping of fire.

In Tarot

UPRIGHT: Authority, establishment, structure, a father figure

REVERSED: Domination, excessive control, lack of discipline, inflexibility

If the Empress is the Mother archetype of the Tarot deck, the Emperor is the Father. He sits upon a large stone throne, adorned with four rams’ heads (symbolic of his connection with Aries and the planet Mars). In his right hand, the Emperor holds an ankh, the Egyptian symbol of life, and in his left is an orb representing the world over which he rules.

He wears a red robe, indicative of his power, passion and energy for life. Underneath it, he wears a suit of armour, suggesting that he is protected from any threat (and any emotional response or vulnerability). His long white beard is symbolic of his age-old wisdom and experience, and along with his gold crown, he is an authority figure who demands to be heard.

Behind his throne looms a tall, impenetrable mountain range, signifying that he is backed by a solid foundation but resistant to making any changes unless he deems it necessary. Beneath the peaks flows a small river, giving some hope that despite his tough exterior, he is still an emotional being – it will just take a lot of digging and trust to open him up to his softer side.

Upright

As the father figure of the Tarot deck, the Emperor suggests that you are adopting this fatherly role (regardless of whether you are male or female), providing for your family, and protecting and defending your loved ones. You may be the breadwinner or the ‘rock’ for those who rely on your stability and security.

Similarly, the Emperor represents a powerful leader who demands respect and authority. Status, power and recognition are essential to you, and you are most comfortable in a leadership role where you can command and direct others. As a leader, you rule with a firm but fair hand. You have a clear vision of what you want to create, and you organise those around you to manifest your goal. You listen to the advice of others, but you prefer to have the final say. Conflict doesn’t scare you, and you won’t hesitate to use your power to protect those you care about. And in return, those people will repay you with the loyalty and respect you deserve. Claim your authority as leader and influencer and don’t let others put you down.

The Emperor reflects a system bound by rules and regulations. You create law and order by applying principles or guidelines to a specific situation. Create calm out of chaos by breaking down any problem into its parts and then mapping out the actions you need to take to resolve it. Be systematic, strategic and highly organised in your approach, and stick to your plan until the end.

The Emperor card also signifies world knowledge and expertise. Through the course of your life, you have gained valuable wisdom and life experience, and now you enjoy offering guidance, advice, and direction to someone who might benefit from it. You may be a teacher, coach, boss, or just a good friend who likes to take what you have learned and pass it on so that others can be as wise and powerful as you.

Reversed

The reversed Emperor calls on you to assess your relationship with power, control, authority, responsibility and discipline. Are you expressing too much or too little of these elements in your life right now? Are they working for you or against you?

In the reversed position, the Emperor can be domineering and rigid in his thinking. The card can suggest an over-use and abuse of authoritative power surrounding you. It could originate from you or from another person, often a boss, partner or father figure. And it may be because of deep insecurities or father issues from childhood.

Consider the role that power plays in your life. Are you asserting your power and dominance in a way that leaves others feeling powerless? Or are you giving away your personal power to please someone else, often a father-figure or a person in authority? Seek to find a solution where you lead from a place of personal power and enable others to do the same. Power can be equally and constructively distributed – you don’t need to take it from others, nor do you need to give yours away.

The reversed Emperor may be a sign that others look to you as their leader or as an expert in the field but you are shying away from the role. You may fear being seen as the leader, instead preferring to hide in the shadows or stay out of the spotlight. There may be other ways you can make an impact and influence the world, such as authoring a book or training others to reach a bigger audience.

Sometimes, the reversed Emperor asks you to stand up to authority. You may feel fed up with an overbearing boss or a hierarchical organisation and feel compelled to enter a more flexible and adaptive environment. Maybe you aspire to be your own boss and work independently by starting up your own business. Or, you may seek a career where you can have greater flexibility and creativity in how you complete your work. You are sick of having to always work within the confines of a particular structure or way of doing things, and you want to break free from it.

When the reversed Emperor pops up in a Tarot reading, pay attention to your commitment to your goals and your self-discipline to get the job done. If you are struggling to see any real outcomes, check that you have a plan in place, a routine to support it, and the dedication to see it through. You may need to get a little tough on yourself and do the uncomfortable work you’d prefer to avoid. But if you can harness the positive, upright energy of the Emperor, your efforts will lead to success.

In a relationship reading, the reversed Emperor suggests that you may be in an unequal partnership and it‘s making you unhappy in the long term. Your significant other has become overbearing, possessive, dominating and authoritative. While you may have been looking for a partner to take care of you and offer a stable foundation for the future, those qualities have gone too far, and it seems as though much of your independence and freedom have been taken away. This dynamic is putting a strain on the relationship and preventing a flow of energies between you.

---

Thank you so much @cybervesna for the polish traduction from the official guide book and its associations with the characters!

#cyberpunk2077 #saburo arasaka #tarot #the emperor #cyberpunk 2077 #cyberpunk 2077 tarot

13 notes · View notes

jccham · 3 years

Text

❝ my friend’s cousin’s best friend used to work as one of his maids and she said that his step-mom used to pay him to keep her affair with his uncle a secret ❞ JORDAN CHAMBERS , who resembles KEITH POWERS and is the PRESIDENT of BETA TAU RHO , is TWENTY-TWO years old and responds to HE / HIM . 𝘱𝘦𝘯𝘯𝘦𝘥 𝘣𝘺 𝘫𝘶𝘭𝘪𝘦 ; 𝘴𝘩𝘦 / 𝘩𝘦𝘳 .

what up, i’m julie, hailing from the gmt-5 tz & i’ve been out all day , so i’ve been unfortunately been a little late to the party buuuut i am here now & i am so excited to share jordan with you all !

BASICS : full name — jordan dominic chambers . preferred — jordan . nickname — jd . titles — captain and power forward of the mens’ kingshill basketball team && . president of beta tau rho . dob — august first nineteen ninety eight . astrological sign — leo . hometown — new york city , new york . current residence — kingshill , new york . MAIN BACKGROUND :

the nineties’ basketball scene was dominated by the six time nba champion chicago bulls and one of the greatest men to ever play the game, jay chambers, led the charge. jordan’s father couldn’t go anywhere in the country without being flocked by fans, in awe of the six nine legend in the making .

unfortunately, this came to a halting stop when jay suffered a career ending neck injury that would forever change his life . coupled with an unwanted pregnancy with darling socialite carolina blair , within a year , jay went from basketball hotshot to stiff businessman and father . a shotgun wedding meant financial stability in working with the blairs’ insurance company, which jay needed with no job and years of wasting millions on partying and luxuries with an expiry date .

neither parent really wanted jordan and it showed through the revolving cycle of nannies filling their roles . even with hours on hand to think about it , jordan would not be able to share one heartfelt anecdote from his childhood involving either of them .

new york city will always be jordan’s home , his birth place , even through his years of european boarding schools and californian summer camps .

basketball came naturally to jordan ( no surprise ) and it was one summer after returning from boarding school , where he had learned the sport , when he learned who his father was . he’d been bothering his father all day to come out of his office to show off his new skills , when he’d been barked at for picking up a basketball at all .

at first , the last thing jordan wanted was to upset anybody , so he stayed away from the sport at first . however , as the years went on , his resentment towards his parents and especially his father grew , and so , continued playing basketball out of spite . he was damn good at it .

his mother paid for his basketball camps and programs , since she was always so willing to throw money at jordan to make him go away . he will claim to this day that he found himself through the sport , as it taught him the abundant rewards of diligence and how to be a leader. basketball made a man out of him , something his family never did .

she left jordan’s father when he was fourteen and that point , he didn’t have any shits left to give . they barely had a relationship , which was honestly better than the hostility that jordan’s father showed him , but it wasn’t enough for any tears to be shed when she declared she didn’t want custody . meanwhile , his father accumulated enough status and wealth to branch off from his ex wife’s company and form his own .

this meant nothing to jordan , though , because as long as he kept getting his allowance and freedom , there wasn’t a change to begin with . he was used to getting paid by his parents for the little things , like a new car when he didn’t bother his mother for an entire month or when his father sent him on a “vacation” to the maldives with his friends for christmas break . even his new step mom gifted him exclusive sneakers when he put in a good word for her to some tabloid that followed jay chambers’ new marriage . however , he drew the line when his parents asked him to attend kingshill .

jordan dreamed of making it as a professional basketball player . not only that , but he was en route to it , having scouts watch him since the beginning of high school . he’d played at the national level and won gold on endless occasions , in addition to mvp trophies and other accolades. by senior year , all of the top d1 schools and agents came knocking on his door .

despite his parents’ divorce , their two companies continued to work closely together and saw jordan as their sole heir . therefore , they needed him to be groomed by the best school that money could offer and they saw kingshill as the perfect and only match .

everyone wonders why jordan has turned his back on the draft for three years running . he clearly loves the game of basketball and is one of the most hard working people you’d ever meet , a born star on the court . instead , he’s a senior in his business administration major and despite the charming smile and affinity for partying , is miserable .

jordan chambers is a little more than intimidating , due to his naturally abrasive attitude , his six seven stature and rumours that have floated around his name since freshman year. after all , it’s safe to say that he’s gone a little bit more than wild since first stepping foot onto campus . whether it’s lashing out at his parents or his own development of a coping mechanism , beta tau rho’s incredible partying legacy has lived on because of jordan . work hard , play hard , and you’ve officially become a beta tau rho brother.

PERSONALITY :

all in all , jordan is a little bit too much . his ego is a little too big , cares more than he should , his bad habits are a little too intense , and he works harder than anyone else .

as mentioned before , he tends to be intimidating upon first impression and usually rubs people the wrong way . he’s learned to become stoic and cold over the years when dealing with other people of the same wealth , afraid to be used or manipulated by showing anything that could be used against him .

while jordan is a man of few words, he is quippy and sharp when he does speak . his charm is subtle and dry , a blink-and-you’ll-miss that part of him type thing .

unsurprisingly , jordan keeps a small circle . he loves beta tau rho because they all understand the value of hard work and constantly improving yourself , which is why he genuinely cares deeply for his fraternity brothers and would probably do anything for them , even if he doesn’t seem like the type . he will always help his friends , no questions asked , and would do anything in his power to do so . since he has been mostly independent for as long as he can remember , jordan cherishes moments when he can spend time with people that he cares about .

though not particularly passionate about school , jordan is ambitious . he strives for greatness in everything he does , no matter how small . he will stop at nothing to achieve his goals , sometimes even unknowingly jeopardizing his relationships in the process.

obviously , he loves partying . jordan always cared about his body and health because of basketball , but since coming to kingshill and having his vision of making it in the nba tarnished , he’s loosened his old ‘ no binge drinking , no drugs rule ’ up a bit . he may or may not blackout every weekend . he may or may not smoke a little too much weed . some things simply cannot be helped .

WANTED CONNECTIONS :

i have this page up , but i'm always down to brainstorm ! especially since my wc page is hella under construction whoops but yes throw your ideas at me omg like this post and i'll come to u!

#kingshill.intro

8 notes · View notes

subasekabang · 4 years

Text

i've got some falling to do

Title: i’ve got some falling to do Rating: T Word Count: 8,020 Pairings/Characters: Neku Sakuraba, Joshua Kiryu Warnings: near character death, implied character death, injury Summary: Seven days after Neku’s returned to the UG, he receives a text that sends a chill down his spine. The Composer needs help. You’re the only one who can do it. Partner: @sugarsomg, desiquiche Author’s Note: Many thanks to @beyondworldborders for… practically writing a good portion of this. She’s my go-to Neku dialogue person. She also betad! neku-phones-sakuraba also gave this a once over and pointed out a lot of spelling and grammar errors. Title from Lemon Demon

The soda tastes sharp on Neku’s tongue as he leans back on the bench, gaze flitting around from person to person. The condensation slicks the cardboard cup in his hand, stealing his attention from the way the crowd threatens to overwhelm him. The Shibuya crowd is as loud as ever, but it doesn’t really bother him anymore, not like it used to. He likes the reassurance that people can see him, can feel him on the off chance that he shifts a little too close to another and accidentally shoulder checks someone. It’s a reminder that he’s alive, that the breath pulled through his lungs isn’t just due to muscle memory. His free hand raises to grip at the familiar weight of his headphones around his neck, but his fingers only curl around air.

Right. He sort of left his limited edition CAT headphones in the middle of the Shibuya Scramble Crossing when he’d woken up on the pavement for a fourth time to find that he was alive after-

Well. Neku’s in high spirits. He’s had a good day. No thoughts of the past are going to wreck that.

It’s been seven days since he’d miraculously come back to life after his three long weeks fighting for his right to existence in the second, hidden layer of reality hidden right on top of Shibuya. For seven long days Neku has sat anxiously on the bench at the statue of Hachiko, hoping and praying to the maybe-god he knows there is that his friends are okay and will show up to greet him. He had almost given up hope by the seventh day, but seventh days had always been so monumental when it came to Neku and his friends. If they were going to show, it would be today.

And sure enough, Beat and Rhyme and even Shiki in her unfamiliar body with that very familiar smile had finally shown up- a week from the Game at Hachiko, just as promised. Their presence had lifted a weight from his chest, let a smile grow wide on his face as Beat snagged him around the neck, as Rhyme showed him her bell with glee, as Shiki had shoved Mr. Mew into Neku’s arms in order to talk animatedly with her hands as she discussed her reunion with Eri and her family. It had been a good day spent with his friends. Now it’s late, nearly dark, and Neku’s friends have headed back to their homes. Neku stopped for a drink, wanting to revel in the moment just for a bit longer- and to linger just for a few more moments, to give that one person just a few more seconds to pop in unexpectedly with that light step, that lazy swagger to his movements.

Neku still isn’t sure that he even wants to see him, but he does want to know that Joshua is okay, despite everything. He realizes now that Joshua had spent their week together within the Game intentionally hand feeding him bits and pieces of information, showing him where to go to jack Shibuya- from Joshua. He still isn’t sure what it means. Why give Neku the chance to shoot him, in those final moments in that dark grey room, if all Joshua wanted was to be done with Shibuya? Neku would have thought that he’d failed whatever test Joshua was levering against him when he faltered at pulling the trigger on the boy he’d come to think of as a friend.

So why is everything still standing?

Why does Neku hope to hear that gratingly self-satisfied voice so badly?

Neku can’t understand- it’s impossible to. But he knows he isn’t seeing Joshua anytime soon, much less tonight, so he pulls himself to his feet with a heavy sigh to begin the walk home, one hand shoved into his pocket to fiddle with the black lacquered pin he keeps tucked away. He absently chews on the straw of his drink as he ambles through the busy Shibuya streets, headed to the station to take his train line home. He reaches for his pocket when his phone buzzes with a text. Probably just Shiki or Rhyme letting him know they got home… safe…?

Unknown The Composer needs help. You’re the only one who can do it.

Unknown Immediately

The soda cup cracks open and spills along the concrete as Neku breaks into a run towards the station.

Neku’s lungs are burning by the time he reaches the sewers that Joshua had so carefully led him to during the Game. It’s as dark and dank and cold as he remembers, the sound of his feet echoing down the tunnels so loud it sounds like gunshots in his head. He half expects another barrier pulled up to keep him out, to keep him from making sure that stupid asshole is alive- or existing, or whatever.

But no, the door to that weird retro underground club is open, cracked open with a flip flop of all things stuck in the doorway so it doesn’t swing shut and activate the padlock again. A bubble of anxiety wells and pops in Neku’s chest. What is this? Is someone here to hurt Joshua? Or is this the person who messaged him to help Josh? He doesn’t understand what’s going on.

What if this is another of Joshua’s Games?

Neku takes a deep breath and shoves the door open, barreling into that same retro lounge he’d once been forced to fight Shiki in. It’s quiet, near silent except for the hum of the refrigerator behind the bar. No sign of anything or anyone. The schools of fish in the walls and floor continue to swim idly, completely undisturbed. It seems like a normal lounge. It all sets Neku’s nerves on edge.

Neku silently pads into the room, every muscle aching with how tense he feels. Okay, room empty. Where’s the jackass then? His heartbeat thunders in his ears, reminding him that yes, he’s alive.

Which, Neku realizes as he searches the room to find no one around and no other exits except the one he entered through, means he’s in the RG. That huge wooden door that Neku had to scan for isn’t open for him now. His Player Pin is dead without whatever energy the UG carries within it, nothing more than a token of his trials. He pulls the tiny pin out anyway and clenches it tight in his hand, breathing in deep and closing his eyes as he opens his senses.

…

Nothing calls out to him, nothing shifts in his mind or pokes at his attention. No stray thoughts or Noise distract him from the solitude of his own head. There’s nothing. It’s what he’s always tried to achieve.

Now it only reminds him of that last day, barreling through a still Shibuya to finally regain his life.

With a snarl of frustration, Neku’s eyes snap open. No door. Nothing has changed whatsoever except for the speeding up of his pulse hammering away, the shaking of his hands that want to fight doing nothing to calm him.

“How the hell am I supposed to save him if I can’t even get in?” Neku shouts into the empty air, raking a hand through his hair. He stomps a foot, fish scattering in alarm underfoot. Something is wrong, he can feel it in the air. If Joshua were okay he’d have appeared already to taunt him, right?

Why Neku, did you miss me so badly today that you had to break into my home?

Yeah, jackass.

“Please,” Neku whispers into the empty air, eyes closing once again. Panic has his chest tightening. Joshua needs him, he can feel it through whatever connection has been left between them, right? So why is he being forced to just sit here? What if he’s already too late? “Please let me in.”

With bated breath, he opens his eyes once again. Relief, strong enough to send him nearly to his knees, surges through him as he sees a tall, oaken door standing before him.

The panic in his chest curls tighter and tighter with every step closer he takes, has him hesitating as he shoves past the heavy doors. What is going on? This… doesn’t feel like him. He’s done this before, he’ll be fine. He has to be fine. Joshua has to be fine.

Why does he even care about the bastard anyway? What has Joshua ever done for him, really?

Graffiti rushes past him as his aching feet carry him deeper and deeper back to that fateful spot he and Joshua had last seen one another- that smirking grin, the smoke wisping off of the barrel of the gun. Three weeks of hell, just for that. What if this is just another of those stupid games of his?

Trust your partner.

Well. It’s gotten him this far, if with an extra bullet scar to his chest. He can trust CAT’s words one last time.

Besides, he can hear screaming.

Neku feels what’s wrong before he can actually see it, the hair on his arms and the back of his neck rising as something that he would describe as feeling like static dances across his skin and through his veins? What the hell? Is that Noise? That’s one hell of an energy spike for even a dangerous Noise.

But then Neku stumbles into that throne room and immediately has to throw his arm up over his eyes, squinting as a bright light nearly blinds him. Wind whips around the epicenter of this glow, tugging at his hair and his clothes and his heart. “What the hell?”

He plants his feet and squints through the bright light, grinding his teeth together through the pain as something deep in him tells him to get out, go, run. But he can’t because there in the middle of this power, this personal storm wrapped around him, is a tall figure with broad shoulders, curled over in pain and mouth open to scream, a pair of white fluffy wings sprouting from his back and flexing as if to try to pull the figure free from the storm. Neku can really only recognize him by the sight of that messy, curly hair and that connection that urges him closer, urges him to help. His partner is in pain.

“Joshua!” Neku grits his teeth and tries to take a step forward, only to be buffeted back by the power. He snarls and firmly plants his foot forward, then again, determination settling in his chest. He could turn back, return to the life Joshua gave back to him and forget this storm is happening, give in to the fear and anxiety and live like the ignorant RG person he is. Neku scoffs and takes a third step, bringing himself that much closer to his bastard of a partner. “Like hell I’m giving up on you after everything! You hear me, Josh?”

The storm seems to shudder in response, lessening slightly. That head lifts weakly, showing glazed, blank eyes that close in… resignation? No, that feels wrong. The Joshua he knows wouldn’t be giving up. What’s happened to him to get him here?

The fear curls up again as Neku fights his way through the storm. What’s to keep Joshua from killing him again, or this power that surges back up to meet his forward progress? His hands are shaking.

To think this is how he sees his partner again. No smarmy sudden howdy, Neku from around a street corner, or the bastard showing up suddenly to their friend gathering. No, Neku has to save his ass from whatever the hell this is. Fucker. He wants to yell at this idiot until his throat is hoarse, to yank him from this oppressive static clinging to him and hold him tight in relief. But Neku has to get Joshua free before he can do anything. Stupid.

“Get down here!” With another snarl, Neku shoves forward and plunges his hands into the glowing mass, eyes widening when his hands sink in to settle around a familiar wrist, a wrist he’d grabbed and dragged around Shibuya when his partner hadn’t wanted to participate in the mission. Neku grits his teeth and tightens his grip, thrusting his other hand in to snag Joshua’s shoulder. The form under this glowing feels like the kid he knows, the bastard who would giggle and taunt him. But it’s wrong, trembling under the power he’s trapped in. Static pricks along Neku’s arm, stinging warningly as if to make him release his prize. Neku shakes his head and ignores how he can’t feel his arm. “Damn it, I’m not letting go! That’s my partner!”

Neku grits his teeth and yanks, pulling Joshua free of the storm that tries to cling tight to it’s Composer. When he pulls that trembling hand free first, the white glow seems to peel away and leave a small, pale hand behind. Sure enough, as Neku hauls Joshua down from the epicenter and safe into his arms, static fizzles out and pops off of the tall form of what Neku can only assume is the Composer, leaving nothing more than the small teenager that Neku thought he knew so well leaning helplessly against his chest. Large feathered wings, disheveled and shuddering, hang limp from his friend’s back, drag against the ground as Neku quickly backs away from the storm that had possessed Joshua. White feathers rip free, pulled by the storm, and vanish upon hitting the ground. Joshua shudders in his arms and weakly looks up at him.

Joshua blinks hazily up at Neku, limp against his chest. His voice breaks when he speaks, hoarse from screaming if Neku had to guess. “N..?”

“Josh…” He looks exactly the same, right down to his clothing choices. But he also looks completely different, torn and beaten to hell and back from whatever was trying to rip him apart up there. Around his neck, hair tangled in the headband, lies a large pair of purple and grey headphones, battered and beaten from years of heavy use and worn from love. What the hell? Neku had tossed those things to the ground as soon as he’d realized he was alive. How did Josh end up with them? Why is he wearing them?

Questions for later. Are they safe?

Neku glances up warrily. The storm is just… gone, after its victim has been freed. Neku looks back down at his rescue in his arms. What was that? What’s been happening for the last week? Why does Joshua look dead on his feet? Neku frowns. “Are you okay?”

“I-” Joshua coughs, turning his face away from Neku’s. Everything about the boy in his arms looks worn and beaten. Dark circles cling to beneath his eyes. When’s the last time Josh slept? Does he even need to sleep? He sure looks it. His cheek rests heavily against Neku’s shoulder, tired gaze searching the dark corners of the large stone room. Neku follows his gaze, but can’t find anything. “I’m fine.”

Joshua seems to sigh, almost resigned as he tries to straighten up. Neku slowly lowers his arms, a hand resting between his partner’s shoulder blades- between those wings- as he wobbles, unsteady on his feet. The wings flare a bit, as if to steady him, but Joshua grits his teeth and they slump back to the ground. Neku frowns. Does that hurt him?

“You look like you’re about to keel over.” Neku scowls back at Joshua’s dirty look sent his way. It’s true. “What happened? What was that?”

“I am.” Joshua licks at his lips, gaze still slightly unfocused. Neku’s tempted to wave his finger in front of his eyes to see if he can track it. The blond leans in against the supportive touch to his back. “About to keel over, that is. It seems, Neku, that you’ve…” Joshua wobbles and raises a shaking hand to his shoulder, rolling out the joint a bit. He laughs sardonically under his breath. “It seems you’ve interrupted my execution.”

“Your what?” Neku asks sharply, baffled. As per usual with Joshua, every answer to a question only raises five more answers he needs. Joshua just cringes back at the noise, head falling back as his eyes squeeze closed. The guy looks like he’s about to drop, frail and ready to shatter. This isn’t the Joshua he knows.

Neku presses his lips into a firm line and gently takes Joshua by his upper arm, urging him towards that large throne at the back of the room. “C’mon, sit down.”

Joshua digs his heels in when Neku tries to pull him deeper into the room, shaking his head. He’s trembling in Neku’s grip, nearly collapsing in his attempt to pull back from where Neku’s leading him. Neku nearly lets him fall in surprise as panic flashes across Joshua’s worn expression, gaze locked onto the cold stone. “No, no, not there. The couch, in the Pad, but not here.”

“Okay, okay… not there. Got it.” Neku reaches for Joshua again, feeling almost like he’s reaching for a scared animal. What happened to him? He frowns and winds his arm around Joshua’s thin wait and drapes his arm across his shoulders. A little barbed tease about how Joshua needs his help rests on the tip of his tongue, laced with fury, but Neku swallows it down. He’ll have plenty of time to get mad at Joshua later. “C’mon, lean on me. You said we’re going to the pad?”

That has to be the weird western retro looking room outside of those invisible doors. What’s with that thing anyway?

Joshua gives Neku a blank look, reluctance in his eyes as he nods and leans against Neku. His gaze flits over one more time to the far wall, searching the dark corners, before falling to watch where he’s placing his feet. Must be taking a lot of concentration, Neku guesses, even with the way Joshua’s leaning his weight against Neku. Those pitiful, ruffled wings that look like they should be fluffy and bright drape over his arm and drag along the ground as they slowly make their way through the graffiti halls back to the RG. Joshua’s silent along the walk except for a tiny muttered curse when he trips over his own feet.

“Careful,” Neku mutters, pulling Joshua closer. This feels wrong, seeing Joshua so exhausted and practically defeated like this. The last time he’d seen his partner, the jackass had been smirking at him over the smoking barrel of a gun. He looked like he’d had the world resting in the palm of his hand, content and satisfied with how his plans had gone. But this Joshua looks like he’s on his last legs, tossed to hell and back and only clinging on to existence for some determined reason only he knows. Neku lowers Joshua carefully to the couch when they finally make it into that glaringly bright room, despite the urgency in his nerves. “There we go…”

Joshua blinks up slowly at Neku as he sinks into the couch, a grimace pulling at his lips as those long, wilted wings get pressed against the back. His eyes slide closed for a moment, brows knitting together in what Neku has to assume is pain, and the wings seem to simply fizzle out of existence. Neku can’t quite even focus on where they would be on the couch anymore. Huh.

Long, pale fingers are pulling at a thick blanket draped over the arm of the couch, but Neku can see how much effort it takes his once proud partner to even tug the blanket over himself. He exhales slowly through his nose, but looks around to find a distraction. He draws the line at tucking his murderer in.

Neku turns away, gripping his arm. What now? He’s got questions, so so many questions, but he doesn’t even know where to begin, much less how to get the answers out of Josh when his partner knows so well how to run Neku in circles.

His gaze lands on the bar on the far side of the room. Neku’s feet take off before he can process the thought, taking him behind the bar to search through the various glass bottles lined up against the wall. He can feel Joshua’s curious gaze tracking his movements, sending the hairs on his neck standing on end. Neku scoffs. “Do you have nothing but wine and liquor here?”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Neku,” Joshua murmurs lightly. He sounds so tired, but there’s a little more life to his voice now that he’s sitting down. Neku rolls his eyes. Who’s the ridiculous one here? “We have plenty of soda and juice back there for mixers.”

“I’m looking for water, dumbass,” Neku snips back, kneeling to investigate the minifridge stashed beneath the bar. He pops open the stainless steel door and breathes a sigh of relief. Behind a neat stack of soda and juices stands a few bottles of water. Neku snags one and grabs a soda for himself before standing with a groan and looking at his ex partner.

He doesn’t think he’s ever seen the blond look so small, curled in on himself with the thick blanket draped so carefully across him. Everything about him seems wilted, even his curly hair more tangled and limp than usual. His shoulders sag, as if those wings are still weighing him down. His gaze listlessly tracks the fish swimming through the flooring underfoot.

What’s with those things anyway? Is Joshua so far removed from humanity that he has wings? Maybe he shouldn’t be too surprised. The Reapers had wings, though they were black and gothic, skeletal and reaching. Joshua’s were long and seemed like they would spread wide if he were to extend them, feathered and full even as disheveled and painful as they looked. Joshua looked like he could have flown with them, if they were taken care of better.

Neku sighs and sets the can of soda and the bottle of water on the bar, leaning against it as he pops the tab with a quick jerk. Joshua looks up at the noise, tired violet eyes meeting Neku’s gaze. Huh. Neku’s lips turn down as he stamps down a surge of anger.

“So…” Joshua’s gaze dims even more as Neku starts off. His lips press together as Neku clears his throat. “What was that back there?”

“What was what, Neku?” Even his voice is tired, none of that cocky inflection that used to color his tone.and infuriate Neku so much. Neku needs to hear that tone again, if only so he wouldn’t feel like shit for still having the urge to deck the kid.

“That, Joshua, back in that stupid stone room.” Neku’s voice rings in the empty room, crossing the expanse between them. He’s worried about the jackass. He doesn’t know what’s going on. Is Joshua still in danger? Is Neku? He doesn’t like worrying, doesn’t like the bubble of anxiety that builds and builds and builds in his chest so he does what he always has and turns it into something else. That anger rises again. He comes all this way after missing the asshole who shot him for a solid week, and now he’s going to try and play coy? He was led like a dog to some stupid final showdown between people much more powerful than him and this is what Josh is going to try and pull in response? No. Neku grits his teeth. “What did you mean by execution? And damn it, you need to give me a straight answer this time.”

“Neku…” Joshua turns his gaze back down, expression unchanged by Neku’s outburst. He raises a delicate hand to press against his temple. He’s probably still in pain. “Now?”

“I can’t help you if you won’t share what’s going on!” Neku snatches up the drinks and marches around the bar to stand in front of the couch, facing down Joshua. He tosses the water bottle down beside Joshua, reaching behind himself to set his own soda on the table. His hands are shaking. Yelling at someone who looks like a walking corpse doesn’t feel good at all. “Why was I called here to help if you won’t even take it?”

“Called here?” Joshua blinks, expression slipping as he stares flabbergasted up at Neku. His brow furrows in as he gapes open mouthed at Neku. He clears his throat and looks away, tucking his hair behind his ear as he reschools his expression. “I don’t know of any such calling, Neku. I was a bit preoccupied.”

Right. Josh looked pretty wrapped up in that storm. Neku can’t forget those agonized screams. There’s no way he would have been able to make a phone call, much less send two different messages.

Neku can’t get over how exhausted his friend looks. The anger drains out of him all at once. With a heavy sigh, Neku flops onto the couch beside Joshua. He does relish the visible surprise on his partner’s face when he bounces for the force.

“What are you doing?”

“Staying with you.” Neku sighs and runs his hand through his bangs, shoving back the gelled spikes. “I’m making sure you’re okay. Drink some water.”

Joshua sputters when Neku reaches across him to pick up the bottle and press it against his chest through the blanket. He squirms, hands fighting free of the confines of the fabric to grip the bottle even as he protests. “I don’t need-“

“Drink. The water.” Neku snaps, crossing his arms. His gaze drifts to those headphones around Joshua’s neck. He doesn’t know what he’s doing here, or anything about what’s going on in Joshua’s head, but there’s some connection between them even still that Neku has to figure out. He doesn’t know why Joshua has his headphones. But it reassured him, strangely enough. “I want to help, dumbass.”

He meets Joshua’s wide gaze. “Don’t get me wrong. I’m still pissed at you and I will be getting answers. But I trust you.” His voice softens. “I won’t leave you alone like this.”

“But…” Joshua falls silent for a moment, as if gathering his thoughts. The fabric tightens and loosens, as if fingers are clenching at it from the inside.

Neku nudges Joshua’s shoulder. “Water.”

“This is my penance, Neku,” Joshua murmurs quietly. The plastic of the water bottle snaps as he twists the cap off. Joshua pulls his feet up onto the couch. Neku swears he sees his jaw trembling before he turns away. But Joshua’s voice does sound tight, like there’s something stuck in his throat. “I’m supposed to be left ‘like this,’ to be left alone.”

“That’s bullshit,” Neku spits. The quiet admission strikes a chord in him. He once thought he could live alone too, that it was fine if he kept his world borders closed to only himself. That he deserved it. But he learned differently, thanks to his friends. To Shiki, Beat, Rhyme, and yeah. Even Joshua. “I’m sitting here right now, aren’t I? You don’t have to be alone.”

Joshua’s silent for a moment.

“So chivalrous, Neku. When did that happen?” He laughs, quietly and sardonically. Neku wants to grab him by the shoulders and shake him. Joshua, face still turned away, tucks his hair behind his ears. “What I mean, Neku, is that I am quite literally not allowed to have any unnecessary contact with anyone. A Composer’s identity is supposed to remain a secret, you know. Only the Conductor can know who he is.” Joshua’s expression falters, a dark shadow across that cutting gaze. “And the powers that be have decreed that I’m not allowed to have another. Can’t be trusted not to break my toys, apparently.”

Some kind of punishment? That makes sense, Josh did try to nuke Shibuya. Even if he changed his mind, Joshua shot him, and even he has to face some sort of consequences for that, right? Sounds like it, if he has some kind of higher tier watching his movement. They probably weren’t too crazy about Joshua apparently going renegade.

But if Joshua isn’t allowed to have any kind of contact, then who the hell called him here? Someone who would insist that Neku is Joshua’s only chance at living.

It seems like every answer Joshua deigns to give him, he only has so many more questions to give back.

“Does that have anything to do with why you were being torn apart back there?”

“Ah…” Joshua flinches, the fabric of the blanket tightening around him as if he’s squeezing himself inside his cocoon. His voice comes out as a near whisper. “Yes. As you can imagine, Shibuya was… rather dissatisfied with my actions. She wasn’t too happy with me trying to destroy her current UG and hand the reins off. So… it appears as if she decided to simply give me what I wanted.” Joshua’s breath hitches. “Really, she must have seen it as a kindness, perhaps. After all the trouble I went through.”

Joshua laughs, one of those forced giggles. He nudges Neku’s arm with his elbow. “But how lucky for me that Shibuya adores you so much.”

She? Does Shibuya have… her own personality or personification or something? Alright. Sure. Not the weirdest thing that Neku’s heard of in the last month. His mind is running a mile a minute, stumbling over itself. He frowns in response to Joshua’s playfulness and nudges him back. Joshua’s smile wavers, but he covers it up with a sip from the water bottle.

Neku’s surprised at how quickly he’s learning to read this more fragile Joshua. He’s entirely on the defensive. If Neku pressed hard enough, he might be able to get any answer he wanted.

He just wants to know if Joshua is okay.

“So Shibuya was mad that you tried to nuke it- her.” Neku rubs the back of his neck. “But what? Adores me? What does that mean?”

“You spent three weeks tromping all across her UG, meeting the challenges set by her denizens and spreading your influence. You left a bit of you, Neku, near everywhere you went.” Joshua just laughs softly when Neku stares, flabbergasted at him. “It’s only natural that she would grow to love you. The same way that you grew to love her, no?”

“I… guess you’re not wrong.” Neku shifts uncomfortably, lacing his fingers together to hang loosely as he leans forward on his knees for support. He used to hate this city, hate its ideals and the noise and the crowds that made it all clash. But Shibuya is his home. The Game taught him to appreciate it, to listen to people and see how their differences make it a better city. “So… what are you saying? Shibuya led me here?”

“No.” Joshua shakes his head. The tiniest and most honest smile Neku has ever seen on Joshua’s face curls his lips. “And if my suspicions are correct, I can’t tell you who did. That’s beyond my jurisdiction. Normally that wouldn’t stop me, but I’m trying to get time off for good behavior.” He laughs- forced again- and tucks his hair behind his ear. “No, Neku, Shibuya was trying to kill me. Why would she lead you here?”

“I don’t know.” Joshua just sounds so resigned. He’s never heard him sound like this before. Neku feels helpless. “Because she knew I would try and save you?”

Joshua freezes beside him, the plastic of the bottle crinkling. Neku turns to glance at Joshua, catching only a glimpse of wide eyed confusion just as his head snaps away. Joshua shakes his head as if to clear it. “Ah, well. Of course, I’m very grateful to still be sitting here.”

“Will it happen again?” Neku takes Joshua’s momentary tension as a yes. Joshua’s clearly trying to hide his reactions and expressions as he usually does, but nearly dying must affect the amount of effort one can put into that.

“I have to assume so,” Joshua murmurs. He sighs. “A Composer is not meant to be without a Conductor. A Conductor not only serves as his Composer’s link to the Reapers and makes sure the Game goes smoothly, but he also helps to assist the Composer in guiding and mitigating the sheer power of the city that runs through the Composer. And as I don’t have a Conductor, I have to try and handle all this power on my own. Add Shibuya’s anger to that and…”

And Joshua doesn’t have long, Neku finishes silently. Joshua’s set back into the couch by this point, gaze tipped idly towards the floor. His partner looks sleepy, of all things. Guess that makes sense. Neku follows his line of sight and isn’t at all surprised to find him watching the fish again. He wonders what Joshua is thinking. He’s lost the one person who was allowed to know him. And now he’s fucking dying because of it.

“There has to be something we can do…” Neku offers weakly, mind racing. Joshua doesn’t deserve to die. He firmly believes that, even as the snarled knots of dual scars in his chest twinge at the thought. He still doesn’t quite know what Joshua was thinking during the Game (what did he mean, Shibuya was going to give him what he wanted? Shibuya was killing-). But it all worked out, in the end. He didn’t destroy Shibuya. He even restored it. Rhyme’s back, and she lost fair and square. Neku’s even pretty sure that he saw a poster for a Def March concert pop up a couple days ago. Josh did all that.

Neku runs a hand over his mouth. Could he…?

“You need a Conductor, right? They won’t give you one and aren’t exactly giving you the chance to appoint a new one.”

“It’s a bit more complicated than that, but essentially that’s the gist.” Joshua tiredly lifts a hand, letting his fingers drift through his own hair. His shoulder leans just a bit more heavily against Neku’s. Neku sits back to support him better. Joshua sighs heavily. “So I’m quite out of luck, you see.”

So if Joshua gets a new Conductor, he’ll live. Those higher ups of his have made it so Josh can’t find a new one. Probably fair enough, considering what happened to his last one.

Neku has to be crazy to be thinking what he’s thinking, then.

“What if I was your Conductor?”

Joshua’s head snaps around, wide startled eyes clashing against Neku’s calm gaze. Jaw dropped, Joshua stares. Neku almost has time to find amusement in it when Joshua’s gaze narrows. “Are you an idiot, Neku?” Joshua snaps through grit teeth. Neku’s almost offended by the venom in Joshua’s voice. “You hated every second you spent in the UG.”

“Not every second,” Neku mumbles. It’s where he met his friends, including Josh. He would still be a lonely, abrasive asshole if he wasn’t forced into the Game. It doesn’t mean he forgives Joshua, and he’s going to punch him as soon as he can without knocking the Composer flat on his ass. But he can’t let him die like this.

“Nonetheless, you don’t even know what you’re trying to sign up for.” Joshua spits, shaking his head. He scowls at Neku, glaring. “Are you always so impulsive?”

“No,” Neku answers plainly. But he’s not thinking about himself right now. He hasn’t thought about if he wants back into the Game, even if he isn’t a player. All he can see are those wings that had dragged against the ground, the way they had shed feathers all across the ground like tears. Joshua could die. Neku can’t just sit back and watch something like that happen again. “But I can’t just do nothing.”

“You absolutely can Neku.” Joshua sighs. “I’m simply dealing with what I’m owed.”

Neku frowns and scoots closer to Joshua. Josh leans away for a moment, but looks down as he slumps against Neku’s shoulder. Neku clears his throat. “Your face deserves to meet my fist, but you don’t deserve an execution.”

“Don’t I?” Joshua tips his head back, leaning just a little bit more against Neku’s shoulder. He runs his tongue across his teeth, clearly deep in thought. “… do it.”

“What the fuck, Josh,” Neku spits. A surge of hot anger runs through him. What kind of jackass does Joshua think he is? “I’m not going to punch you right now. Do you think I’m that shitty?”

“You said I deserve it. Get it over with,” Joshua says simply with another infuriating shrug. “I’m waiting.”

“Oh, fuck you,” Neku bites, leaning away from Joshua. He grits his teeth. “Don’t fucking toy with me, Joshua. I’ve got some things I want to say, but it can wait until after I help you.”

Joshua scoffs. “You do still have all of your memory, yes? I know I haven’t taken anything I didn’t give back to you. Why would you help me at all?”

“Because you’re my friend, damn it!” Why the hell is Joshua being so difficult? Is this another of his stupid games? Neku’s anger burns hot in his chest. “I haven’t forgiven you, if that’s what you’re asking, but we’re still friends. I don’t want you to die. If you need me to become your Conductor for that, I’ll do it.”

It probably isn’t that simple. But in this moment it feels like it is. Maybe the Game won’t be so bad if he has some control over it.

“I don’t get friends, Neku,” Joshua hisses. A sympathetic pang runs through Neku’s chest, quenching some of the fire. He’s… shaking. Neku’s eyes widen as their gazes clash. Is Joshua… afraid? “Apparently I have a tendency to get them erased. You should run while you still can.”

Josh… wants him to get mad, Neku realizes. Is he trying to push him away? Well. Like hell is Neku doing anything that Joshua wants. He crosses his arms. “You don’t get a say on people caring about you. And I’m not going anywhere.”

“You do realize what you’re volunteering for, yes?” Joshua sneers. He’s clearly shaken. This can’t be one of Joshua’s games. Neku doesn’t think he’d ever voluntarily look so weak. “Did you like the taste of metal so much, Neku?”

Neku’s breath hitches and his chest seizes up. He hasn’t forgotten what being shot felt like, or the ring of gunfire through Joshua’s pistol. He fought so hard to come back to life. He doesn’t want to die again, he just found friends, a new goal, things to live for! But he can’t leave Joshua like this… Josh is his friend too. But Neku can’t swallow around the taste of metal in his lungs, can’t hear around the thunder of gunshot in his ears.

But then there’s a hesitant weight against his shoulder, a warmth to distract him from the memory. Neku blinks and looks down to find Joshua facing away, but leaning to brace his back against Neku’s shoulder. He’s pulled both legs up onto the couch, knees to his chest with the blanket wrapped around him as he faces away completely from Neku. Is Josh… trying to comfort him? Neku can’t see his expression like this. It’s odd, but not unpleasant.

“What would I have to do? As Conductor.”

“That’s classified information.” Joshua sinks deeper into his blanket. If Neku had to guess, that petulant gaze is locked on the fish below again. He sounds like he’s pouting. “I don’t want you as my Conductor, Neku, we’ve been over this.”

“You don’t exactly have a lot of people lining up for the position,” Neku tosses back. He frowns and leans in to press his weight against Joshua’s. A reminder that he’s there. This isn’t going to be the last time they talk. He won’t let Joshua be alone.

Joshua sighs. Neku can see the way his finger curls again and again and again in his hair. “You’d have to die again, for one, and how boring to lose your life just after having it returned to you. And then you’d have to put up with me constantly, listening to my whining and my demands and then you’d have to obey them. And most Conductors get erased in the line of fire when someone is gunning for the Composer’s position.”

Joshua’s tone is a little rushed, a little frantic. Neku can’t help but huff softly, smiling a little.

“Do you give this campaign speech to every candidate you have?” Neku snarks.

“Only the ones I don’t want.” Joshua sneers.

Neku hums in response. None of that really sounds great at all. But Joshua’s still trying to push him away. That can’t be all to it. “I’ve seen Def March in the RG. So I could still see my friends and could grab a burger here and there.” He nudges Joshua’s back. “Could grab you some of those chili dogs you like.”

Joshua’s hair pulls taut around his finger. Neku’s a little worried he’ll pull it out, but Joshua’s sigh cuts his thoughts short. “Theoretically, yes.”

“Then it doesn’t matter.” Neku can still expand his world from UG just as well as from the RG. He can finish the murals he’s started. He wouldn’t even have to give up any goals. Except maybe graduating, but it isn’t like Neku hasn’t thought about dropping out of school before. Hell, that only sweetens the deal.

“You are unbelievably frustrating, Neku!” Joshua shouts, running a hand through his hair. Neku’s never heard the other sound so done with the situation, not even when dealing with the Grim Heaper. “I am fine. I don’t need you as my Conductor.”

“Why are you being so frustrating?” Neku shoots back, shifting to look at Joshua properly. The other boy reluctantly shifts away to meet his gaze, frowning hard. Neku’s hands start to tremble. “I know you’re in pain. Every movement projects it so hard you should just give up on trying to hide it. You’re dying, Josh, and Shibuya’s going to finish you off if you don’t let me help you. I can do that.”

Neku sighs and sits back without breaking Joshua’s gaze, even as his friend visibly flinches. “If you really don’t want me as your Conductor, then fine. But let me fill in until you find someone you can work with so that you don’t just evaporate out of existence.”

“I don’t want to kill you again, Neku!”

“What, you already killed me once for your Game. You can’t kill me now to save your own life?” Neku snaps back immediately. Joshua looks hurt, like it took everything for him to admit that. It might have. Neku doesn’t particularly care. And yeah, he’s a little bitter. He’s allowed that.

“That was before you had to go and change! Had to go and change me!” Joshua tugs at his hair with both hands, teeth ground together. Joshua’s head snaps up to meet Neku’s gaze. He looks desperate. “Why didn’t you just shoot me?”

Neku presses his lips together in a firm line, meeting the stubborn Composer’s glare with one of his own. “How could I? You put me through all kinds of hell. You stole my life. Forced me through a cruel game. You manipulated me. But I’m still trusting you despite all that. Like I keep saying.” Neku softens his voice. Joshua’s just gotten more and more visibly distressed the more he’s spoken. “You’re my friend.”

“You trusted me and I threw another bullet at you!” Joshua scowls. Neku’s struck again by how fragile he looks. A shaking kid wrapped in blankets, beaten to hell and back and… nearly crying. Joshua hiccups as he struggles to fight back tears. Neku’s heart squeezes tight in his chest. “How could you call me a friend? I don’t… I don’t understand, Neku…”

If Joshua’s trying to convince Neku that he’s a horrible person who doesn’t deserve to be saved, this heartbreaking image isn’t cutting it. He just sees a lonely kid who’s been forced into even more solitude. Slowly, timidly, Neku reaches out to curl an arm around Joshua and tug him close.

“Wha-” Joshua gasps in his ear, but doesn’t fight when Neku pulls him into a tight hug. He squirms in Neku’s grip, but rests his chin on his shoulder. “N-Neku?”

“Just shut up for a second, Josh.” Neku wraps his other arm around Joshua, shifting to rest his chin on the crown of the Composer’s head. Joshua’s chest, pressed to his, is heaving and he can hear Joshua trying to take measured breaths. Neku tightens his grip. This is… really warm. He can’t remember the last time he had a hug. He squeezes his stubborn, frustrating jackass of a friend closer. Neku closes his eyes. “I missed you.”

Joshua shifts again and takes a moment to work a hand out of the blanket. Neku hides a smile in those blond curls as a tentative hand curls in the back of Neku’s shirt. Joshua sighs softly. “I’d tell you that I missed you too, but you told me to shut up.”

“Dumbass,” Neku laughs, snorting softly into Joshua’s shoulder. Damn it. He even somewhat missed arguing with this guy. They still have a lot to work out, but Neku just can’t let him die.

Joshua chuckles back and seems to melt into the hug for a few moments before loosening his grip. He pulls back to look at Neku, smile slipping away. Neku’s own grin falls at Joshua’s serious look. “I don’t want to have to kill you again, Neku.”

“Believe it or not, I’m not crazy about the idea either, Josh.” Neku crosses his arms. He really isn’t. He remembers the taste of metal in his mouth, the way blood had welled in his lungs. But he got Joshua to smile. It makes Neku just as happy as when he made Shiki smile today. “As long as I can see my friends again and live my life to some extent, I can handle it.”

“I suppose you will know your way around the Game by this point,” Joshua muses, the curl of his knuckles pressed to his lips in thought. Neku raises an eyebrow as Joshua laughs. “Especially as I was one of your guides.”

Is that him giving in, or bragging? Knowing Josh, probably both. Neku rolls his eyes.

“Right.” His gaze tracks Joshua’s movement as he pulls his fingers through his messy hair. His chest feels heavy. “So… we should probably get this over with quickly, yeah?”

Joshua twists his hair between his fingers. “If this is what we’re doing, then… yes, best to get this done as soon as possible, before Shibuya…” Joshua falters. Clears his throat. “Before Shibuya decides she’s tired of waiting.”

Joshua waves his hand. Neku flinches as a familiar heavy gun snaps into being in Joshua’s palm. His partner raises an eyebrow. “Are you sure you can handle this, Neku?”

“No,” Neku answers honestly. “But the only other choice is to let you die, right?”

Joshua nods, silent.

Neku takes a deep breath- his last one, maybe. He glances towards the padlocked door, towards the RG. Does he have any loose ends he wants to take care of as living and breathing Neku?

No, actually, nothing he hasn’t been told he’ll be able to do as Conductor. He can keep his friendships, can keep Shiki and Beat and Rhyme and he’ll be able to meet Eri eventually and he’ll be able to create still.

And he’ll be able to work out his complicated feelings towards Joshua.

“Neku?”

“What?” Neku looks up at Joshua. He holds himself up a bit better now, seeming to sit up a little straighter. One hand lightly grips the headphones draped around his neck. Neku’s a little afraid that the familiarity of the gun in his other hand is what’s bolstering Joshua’s confidence. But he kind of hopes that it’s Neku offering to be his Conductor that’s helped Joshua pull himself together. Neku raises his chin stubbornly.

“What are you waiting for? Shoot.”

#TWEWY #TWEWY Bang 2020 #The World Ends With You #Subarashiki Kono Sekai #shadowstryker #submission

13 notes · View notes