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#Jonah just wants his money
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Jonah: The love interest.
Barnabas: The boot licker.
Albrecht: The Simp.
Mordechai: The Sugar Daddy.
Fanshawe: The Ex.
Simon: Not in love with Jonah he just likes to paint him.
Peter: Husband.
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taibobo · 1 year
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the funniest aspect of jonadam is the fact that they are a nerd/bully duo who both think they have the upper hand in the situation in some way and both of them are wrong
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not-the-cheese · 9 months
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one sentence(ish) summaries of every magnus archive episode PART 2
(eps 61-110) thank u for the funny comments and tags on the last part i love u guys
the rest of these may take a while as i've caught up to where i am currently in the podcast but i will finish them like in a month i promise
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61. the thrilling sequel to man does not open coffin: man DOES open coffin.
62. surely this doctor can find an easier way to scam people out of money than putting them in a little book.
63. THE DARK ATE MY BROTHER IN LAW.
64. this is possibly the plot of laura croft tomb raider
65. mmm crumchy
66. what's the opposite of an unboxing video
67. as close to a coffeeshop au as you're going to get from this podcast
68. Doctors hate him! Man REFUSES to die from tuberculosis!
69. your college's psych department has the worst idea ever.
70. reverse death note
71. not even death will stop this woman from taking the british subway
72. man doesn't want to be low key racist in his last moments before getting eaten
73. police versus the second coming of dark jesus
74. lady is haunted by an ad for coffee
75. mike crew says "uh fuck it let's just put this guy on a skyscraper forever"
76. ryan from buzzfeed unsolved breaks into a train yard and suffers consequences
77. you're not a enough of a bitch to be my real mom
78. man gets harassed by his cousin and then exorcises him
79. you know that chase scene in scooby doo with the doors
youtube
80. stupid idiot motherfucking jurgen leitner
81. i have been personally victimized by the sequel to the hungry hungry caterpillar
82. pov: elias threatens to cancel you
83. mannequin takes matters into its own hands after people don't like its pitch for a new window display
84. a hoarder put newspaper on my friend's face :(
85. hey there's maybe a little man upon these stairs?
86. man gets got by a squiggly thing in the dark.
87. plumber is so oblivious to spooky happenings around him that it possibly saves his life.
88. guys i think this guy likes to dig
89. lesbian investment banker finds a new, less evil job: arson!
90. guy who turns people's bones starts a gym where he promises not to turn your bones! (he is lying)
91. i was stalked by lightning for 10 years and i all i got were these stupid scars
92. jonah magnus is a bad friend // another day another elias slay
93. ocd is no match for purple fuzz
94. let the bodies drop gently to the floor let the bodies drop gently to the floor
95. im so sorry my brain refuses to remember what the war ones were about but i think one guy got gently kissed on the forehead so that's pretty nice.
96. diversity wins! the not-quite-human delivery men who stole your identity and business are maybe gay?
97. man gets gaslighted by an entire town about a hole
98. 🎶mister sandman bring me a dream, actually don't, please stay far from me 🎶
99. another one bites the dust
100. archival assistants face off against the general public (they lose)
101. jon finally levels up high enough to unlock an eldritch horror's tragic backstory
102. LOCAL MAN MARRIES BUG
103. peppa eats a clown and they cover her in concrete instead of congratulating her.
104. pennywise stole my brother's skin
105. it's world war z baby
106. Something Big Is In Space.
107. man is interrogated about the time he saw thomas the train roasts people alive and also sans is there
108. actor is stalked by mask who liked his monologue so much that it tells its mask friends to come watch.
109. sometimes a family is just a serial killer's daughter and that guy who maybe killed some vampires
110. yeah man those spiders be eating
Part 1 |
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superums · 6 months
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42 songs — 42! miles morales x reader
spidey!reader. angst, no happy ending. for general audiences. (cannon) character death. reader is a but of a loser here. some fluff. reader has a (loving) mom. gender neautral reader. no pronouns. no y/n. childhood friends to crushes to enemies. jeff is a father figure to the reader
color coded text: miles. you/spidey. your mom. jeff.
inspired by: 24 songs by playboi carti
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pre-spidey headcannons
crime is off the charts in this universe, every other day there's a riot, a robbery, accidental killings, purposeful killings, people on the news begging for help, bombings, and general terrorist attacks caused by mutated mad scientists and victims of freak accidents
in the daytime, you can sort of ignore the turmoil the city is in since everyone feels safer when the sun is out. At night time there's a curfew for teenagers and even some young adults because of all the crime that happens.
you feel uneasy a lot of the time because of the political climate but the crush you have on your mom's best friend's son, miles morales, makes you forget about it even if it's just a bit.
you've had a crush on him ever since you could remember; you couldn't even remember when it started.
for the longest time you wanted to confess to him but every time you tried to he would always get distracted by the pretty girls at school.
your hands were sweating as you held onto your backpack strap with two tickets for the museum. you found miles alone in a classroom putting things in his backpack.
"hey, miles." you saw him turn in your direction before smiling a bit. getting closer to where you stood a few feet in front of him you felt a little shiver go up your spine as you saw miles' big brown eyes look directly into yours.
"yeah?" his accent made your heart race a little. looking down at your shoes you began to ask. "y-yeah i was wondering if..." the sound of ruffling pom poms in the door cut you off.
"hey miles are you still coming?" michelle jones stood at the door waving at the boy with her two friends behind her. "uh... yeah im comin, my fault." miles continued getting his things together before walking past you. "can this wait? i gotta get ready for practice?" he said as he walked past you to join the three cheerleaders.
your embarrassment never left you as you watched him leave you in the dust. "yeah... my fault." you muttered to yourself as he left the class room to join the cheerleaders.
you ended up going to the museum by yourself (not wanting to waste any money), little did you know you were going to get bit by a radioactive spider at the vending machine
post spidey & cannon event headcanons
being spidey is not easy in universe 42. the crime was bad before but now it the gotten worse. during your second week of being spidey you had to fight villains that other spidermen would shiver at the green goblin, the sandman, and many more.
after 4 months you've been beaten down, almost died a few times, even almost got your secret identity exposed at least twice but you always get back up because you love your city and everything who lives in it—it's just too bad your new york doesn't feel the same about you.
The people of your new york really like jonah jameson and respect his opinion so when he talked bad about you the public opinion of spidey quickly soured.
you work with the police aka hang criminals upside down with your webs and leave a little note as you swing away when you hear the sirens coming towards you.
you struggle to balance your school life with your spidey life so you end up isolating yourself like all the spidey’s before you have. so now you only interact with miles in passing. when you do have the time to actually talk to him your spidey senses pull you in another direction
your parents worry about you a lot, at first they thought you were fine because your grades were good and you had a few friends but now you sometimes walk with a limp and sometimes your friends (miles specifically) come by to check up on you it's just too bad you're never there
every blunder you made as spidey would always met with a loud rant from jonah jameson. like when you got knocked out by rhino slamming his head into yours multiple times or when you accidentally let the green goblin blow up an entire block because you were getting pestered by protesters who were trying to rip your mask off
speaking of blunders your mom calls you sometimes when you're fighting crime because she's scared about if you're safe and you always try to calm her down but it never works because there's always screaming and explosions going on in the back
most of the time you end you hanging up abruptly because you have to stop the villain or else more people get hurt but you always make sure to face time her when you get away from the chaos so she doesn't get too scared about you
almost a year after becoming spidey you were invited to jeff’s promotional party and your mom stressed that you be there. You haven’t been able to make it to outings recently—canceling at the last minute, not showing up without a warning or leaving early without a trace, it was starting to feel like you were only someone she could talk to on the phone and never in person.
and throw in the fact that the morales family have been friends with your family for years, almost like a second home and none of them have seen you not even miles— it was starting to worry everyone.
when the morales family invited yours to jeffs promotion party your mother practically begged you to come
when you got to the party you and your mom had an argument about your latest disappearances. she brought up how your school was calling her about missing school ans how you were flaking out on her and while you tried to argue that you had more than just her to worry about, your argument immediately fell flat when she asked you ‘like what?’
after congratulating jeff on his promotion you left to sit under the water tower and watch the streets of new york. you knew you couldn't keep lying to your mom forever, she was worried about you and you just wanted to keep her safe. looking out to the city you didn't notice the foot steps coming from behind you.
“you aint gon say hi to me?” a familiar voice said from the right of you. turning your head you saw miles leaning on one of the metal rods that held the tower up. “you were busy with everyone else. i thought you’d be too busy to talk to me.”
“you coulda still came to say hey or sum’ you're like a ghost now.” miles looked down at you causing you to shake your head before looking ahead. “tuh… anyway, i heard you made the basketball team.” you changed the subject as you turned your head around, not being able to see the bashful look on his face. “”yeah it was easy.” “i bet. you're like good at everything.”
the boy looked at his feet trying not to smile when he heard your praise. “also! i noticed your new hairstyle. it's really good on you….” you messed with your fingers a little before turning back to him. “yeah?” the boy would be blushing if his melanin allowed it.
you stayed at the tower for most of the gathering. your mom even coming to get you so you could watch jeff blow out his candles. after that though you had to leave the sounds of police sirens started to go off as the sun began to set, you had to go back to your job.
cannon event & 'cannon event'
as you work to keep the city safe there's always something you can't stop and that is death. unfortunately, you can't save everyone even if you try to. believe me you tried everything but nothing could stop him slipping through your fingers
it was a cold winter when it happened, everyone getting ready for winter break the christmas lights were beginning to be put on display it was almost perfect until norman osborne broke out of jail
if was like he wouldn't go down. it didn't natter what you did—final blow after final blow the man would get back up and destroy even more buildings.
you tried your best to keep everyone safe, multitasking between saving people and knocking down the green goblin. your bones were screaming as you swung across the city, webbing buildings together, destroying rubble before it could hit the civilians below, you did all you know.
but that wasn't enough.
your web couldn't stop the tip of the daily bugle antenna from hitting him. you almost moved in slow motion; jumping off of green goblins glider to chase after the rod.
the man you've seen all your life stood still, paralyzed with fear. your webbing got sloppy after hours of fighting, your left web missed, the other right one ran out of fluid—you couldn't stop the antenna from hitting jeff.
the green goblin laughed maniacally as he flew off into the snowy sky, leaving you shivering holding the man you saw as a father figure.
"spidey...." his voice was weak, the tip of the bar was lodged into his heart, he wasn't going to make it. "i'm sorry..." your voice was weak as you held onto him, you heard his slowing heartbeat above the chaotic city.
"im sorry... i'm sorry" you sung apologies to him as you saw the life draining from his body. "spidey... i was growing to like you." jeff started, looking directly into your mask where your eyes would be. "i know i don't got much time..." he heaved once. twice. thee times.
"but please, don't lose yourself cus a' me." his blinking started to slow down. holding him tighter your couldn't handle this. "please, please stay with me. the paramedics are almost here!" your begged the man who just gave you a sad smile. "remember.... with great power comes great responsibility."
the man stopped breathing in your arms. you almost screamed into the sky if it wasn't for the sirens getting closer. "freeze spidey!" you heard them cock their guns, they were going to shoot you. "w-wait you dont understand!" you tried to explain through tears but you knew you had to go.
a gun-shot from your right made you leave before you could get a word out, a few of them hit you but not enough to be anything fatal
you ran to your house and practically tire your shit off of you. you cried for days, and didn't go to school for at-least three. your mom didn't know why you were so upset but didn't budge, seeing g how depressed you were
spidey didn't show up for a while. almost disappearing entirely besides a few sightings. though the press around the hero in the mask got worse
“Spidey? More like spider menace! look around you New York—that fraudulent freak trying to call themselves a hero is a danger to our livelihoods!” a booming voice echoed through the snowy streets of new york. “The green goblin, the lizard all of them—this is all their fault!” “spidey has brought nothing but uncertainty and harm to this city!”
news reporters seemed to go on and on about you on every channel, every jumbotron, and street corner—spidey was the topic of discussion. they're a killer, a sorry excuse for a hero. who are they? where are they?
*the sinking feeling in your stomach never disappeared as you saw miles at school. he was darker, less talkative, more angry—you cant help but think it's your fault.
you almost quit being spidey but you knew the people needed you even if they acted like they didn't. the robberies, rampaging villaians everyone needed you.
you went back to fighting crime even acter you saw the headlines on the billboards calling you a murderer, a fraud.
in less than a month a new face was making noise on the news. the press called him the prowler. he's been stealing money from museums and the daily bugle; anything he can get his hands on.
his LED mask was the only thing they got as he sped away on his bike.
the prowler began to leave messages 'bring me spidey.' and a simple spider drawing with a red X over it. he wanted you dead, and you knew he wouldn't stop until he had it.
in hindsight it was like dejavu. you're back where you started. fighting on a building in the snow.
"i've been waiting on you spidey." you bearly escaped his claws. stream came from your mouth as you jumped back from him."who are you?!" you knew you were being played with but you couldn't help it. the masked man laughed before swiping at you again.your other cuts from him stung, his claws were full of poison.
"you ruined my life." he managed to punch you, poisonous gas exploded in your face from the impact. "you got me all wrong!" you fought back, bearly noticing you began to crack his mask. "you'll pay for what you did to me." he bunched your face repeatedly.
"no!" bringing your leg up you managed to kick him in his face, knocking him back. getting on-top of him you repeatedly hit him in his face. you didn't even notice the familiar brown eyes being unveiled to you until it was too late.
you froze in place when you saw his face. miles. he knocked you off of him again, smirking, he began to laugh. "this'll be the last face you see, spidey."
"miles?" you felt like throwing up all over again, looking at the boy you've loved for almost all your life talk down to you. you were almost living the worst day of your life all over again.
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richiekirschs · 10 months
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SHE’S MY BABY — Spider-Man!Lottie Matthews
spider-boy, king of thieves…
warnings— no use of y/n, fem implied reader (referred to as “unsuspecting girl”), lottie is vaguely hurt
[part 2]
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The Yellowjackets had been spreading their theories about Spider-Man since he was first spotted in New York, just across the river.
It was surprisingly Misty who came up with the theory that he was actually from Jersey City, after how many times he’d been spotted on the ferry that takes you across the Hudson from Midtown. Nat had disagreed, stating that he was probably in Jersey City so often because of the amount of freaks patrolling the streets.
Most of your teammates think it’s stupid—with Jackie saying it’s just some asshole trying to get on Subway Creatures, and Tai saying the guy in the suit just wants to piss off J. Jonah Jameson. Laura Lee thinks he’s devilish. Nat indulges in the fantasies after having witnessed one of Spider-Man’s fights firsthand (and also because she likes to piss off Jackie.)
The girls are all over at your apartment tonight for the regularly scheduled movie night. Everyone takes turns— last time it was Tai, and now it was you.
You’re in the bathroom washing your hands when there’s a THUD! from the fire escape outside the bathroom window.
You frown, wondering if you should check. Is it your neighbors, smoking a blunt? Or is there maybe a cat that needs help?
You yank up the blinds to check, deciding it’s better to know than risk it distracting you the rest of the night.
It’s not your neighbors, and it’s definitely not a stray cat.
It’s Spider-Man.
You can’t do much but freeze and mumble, “You’re shitting me.”
He stares back at you with comically wide, unblinking eyes. He points at the windowsill and mimes pushing it up before silently pleading with his hands.
You sigh. Of course this would happen. All you can do as you unlock the window is pray that it’s actually Spider-Man, and not some douche in a costume looking to take advantage of an unsuspecting girl.
You push the window up and he tumbles to the ground of the bathroom, somehow remaining inhumanly quiet.
In the process, though, he aggressively knocks a (glass) bottle of perfume off of the counter.
“Shit!” you hiss.
“Are you okay?” someone calls. Maybe Nat? It definitely could’ve been Van.
“Yeah!” you call before turning back to the masked vigilante. “You have 30 seconds to explain yourself.”
Spider-Man holds up a finger, chest heaving, before reaching up under his mask and yanking it off.
It’s not a man at all. It’s Lottie, your best friend who was conveniently missing from tonight’s get-together.
Your jaw drops. “What the f—?”
You don’t get the chance to finish your exclamation as she bolts up to clamp a hand over your mouth. “Shh!”
You frown back at her, trying to convey your emotion with your eyes.
“I’ll explain, I promise,” she assures you. “But I’m hurt. I just got my ass kicked. I need you to help me, but you can’t tell the others.”
You don’t respond. Her hand is still over your mouth.
“Promise me!” she hisses, begging.
You nod frantically, and she slowly removes her hand. “I can’t believe you’re a girl. I was betting major money with Nat that Spider-Man was Jeff Sadecki.”
She narrows her eyes at you. “Jesus Christ. Are you going to help me or not?”
“I can’t do that if you don’t tell me where you’re hurt!”
She swallows, unable to meet your eyes. “Under my suit.”
You sigh at her. “Can you stand?”
“I think so.” She manages to stumble to her feet, and you help her unzip the suit, both of you flushed bright red.
“Don’t tell me you’re embarrassed, Lot,” you tease as she collapses onto the closed toilet. “We’ve changed in front of each other a billion times.”
“These aren’t ideal circumstances,” she groans.
Her wound isn’t too bad, but it probably hurts like a bitch. Sliced across her leg, the cut slowly oozes blood. Her knuckles are scraped up, too. There’s already green-yellow bruises forming around both wounds.
“It’s not awful,” you assure her. “They just need to be cleaned and get bandaged.”
You dig out isopropyl alcohol and a rag before a apologizing for the pain you’re about to cause her.
She whimpers as you clean the gash on her leg and wrap gauze around it, and you have to pray that she doesn’t see the way your face burns.
Someone rattles the door handle. “Are you still in there?”
Laura Lee. With a start, you realize you didn’t lock the door.
You and Lottie lock wide eyes with each other before you’re yanking her up and shoving her into the shower. She shoots a web to seal the curtain to the wall, tucking herself behind it.
The door swings open, and Laura Lee peers around from behind it. “Hey, we were thinking about ordering pizza—is that your blood?”
You look down at your hands, but it’s not yours. It’s Lottie’s, from where you had wiped it from her leg. You need to think of a lie, and quick.
“Oh,” you shrug in a hopefully nonchalant manner. “My nose started bleeding, and I put my hand over it while I got the rag.”
Laura Lee, of course, steps in to investigate. “Did it stop? We should say a prayer.”
You gently swat her prodding hands away. “Yeah, I’m fine. It stopped. I just didn’t get the chance to wash my hands.”
“Really,” Laura Lee insists. “We should say a prayer. This could be a sign of something.”
“Yeah,” you mumble, “of a ruptured blood vessel.”
You indulge in Laura Lee’s plead anyway, and pray that Lottie can resist her urges to laugh during Laura Lee’s prayer like she always does.
Lottie knows she doesn’t have much time.
She carefully slides the suit back on before slipping out of the very window she’d come through. From there, she makes a Pink Panther-esque getaway a few feet away from that window to the one that leads to your bedroom.
She carefully slides the bedroom window shut before flinging open a dresser drawer in hopes for some clean clothes. She digs out a Kean University pullover and plaid pajama pants. It’ll have to do.
She stashes the suit in the spot that she’d swiped the clothes from, and just as she shuts the drawer, she freezes. Someone’s coming.
There’s nowhere to hide. Your bed sits atop a wooden bed frame, meaning she won’t—can’t—fit underneath. Your closet isn’t big enough either. That only leaves…
When Nat swings the door open, she completely expects to find someone in a striped shirt with a sack of money over their shoulder. Something is being very noisy in your room, and she’s intrigued to know what could possibly be causing such a ruckus.
Instead, she finds… nothing.
She checks under your bed, even though nobody besides a small child could fit between the planks of your bed frame. She checks your closet. Hell, she checks the fire escape.
Nothing.
“Hm,” she decides, but there’s something… not right. There’s an itch under her skin that won’t go away.
When Nat leaves, Lottie can’t help but breathe a sigh of relief.
She carefully lets herself down from the ceiling with a breath of, “Holy shit,” and a hand pressed to her chest.
There’s still work left to be done, though.
Quietly this time, she swings back out onto the fire escape.
There’s a knock on your front door, and you frown. Everybody’s here, and Misty didn’t say that they had already ordered the pizza, just that they were thinking about it.
You quickly rinse your hands of Lottie’s red blood before following Misty to the door.
Low and behold, the new guest is Lottie fucking Matthews.
You feign surprise at the sight of her. “Hey, I thought you weren’t coming!”
She walks over to you, arms open wide, limping ever so slightly as she engulfs you in a hug. “It’s a long story.”
Through a faux grin, you growl, “Tomorrow, we’re going to get coffee, and you’re going to explain everything.”
“Deal.”
KITTY MEOWS! I kept seeing Spider!Lottie edits on TikTok and there was an itch in my bones that could only be satisfied by writing this…
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*steps on stage nervously*
Uhh.. umm. Uhhhhh
Spidey Academy AU!!
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Like Xavier's School for Gifted Children, Miguel - a Spider-person fond of kids, opened a Spidey-Science Academy, for the Spidey-people of the universe
It's not like a high school. There's five years and the years are not really sorted by age - but by experience.
So Hobie would be a year 3 - a middleclass-man
Pavitr is a year 1 - a freshman
And the classes, are all based on honing your Spider-powers and senses.
There's assignments, things you have to take home and do.
They're give you a fake evil Doc Ock chip and have you decode it and make it good again (like Peter in No Way Home).
Or they ask you to stop a petty robbery without using your webs. You have to bring in the Daily Bugles article on you the next day and they grade you on that.
(Hey say what you want but Jonah reports the facts he just talks a lot of shit)
Any class a Spider-person needs, they have.
You name it-
Home Ec? No. Sewing and Suit Repair Class
Gym? No. Swinging & Strength Endurance
Science? ALL ADVANCED. Freshmen's take Advanced Spider-biology and have to learn ALL the different Spider-variations and illnesses Spider-people can get. Multiversal Physics.
All of the honor classes are FULL.
There's also other helpful ones like Firefighting Training and Sign Language (both mandatory), hence how Insomniac!Miles is completely fluent in ASL.
Oh - also. Because Miguel is such a tight-ass -
UNIFORMS. Sweater vests over pants or shorts. (No skirts cause they still be upsidedown and shit)
You have to bring your mask everyday. It's like your ID card
y'all ever had that? Like y'all needed an ID to get into school and if you didn't have it they charged you? Like money? My school did that we also had metal detectors like the airport I'm so deadass this was just a normal public school - I'm getting distracted, anyway-
Of COURSE Ms.Jessica Drew is Assistant Principal. OF COURSE she also teaches Advanced Combat and Strategies class.
And YES she's a hard-ass grader. Has never given a 100% in her life. On some 'This was the best thing I've read in my entire teaching career but you forgot to indent on paragraph 5 so 99%'
She doesn't give a fuck about your GPA!!!
Unlike Mr.Peter B. Parker.
He makes people call him 'Professor PB'. He wants to be the cool teacher.
His classroom is SO FUN during lunch time. Probably runs the anime and manga club. He's that really nerdy teacher that you don't expect to be like "I know what anime is! I grew up on Dragon Ball 😁
His class are always fun but SO chaotic. Still wears sweatpants sometimes. He's the Science teacher.
And every year they take class photos and there's a Spidey homecoming where everyone parties on the walls in cute outfits.
CAN YOU SEE IT?
Swinging Team instead of Track and Field???
CAN YOU IMAGINE IT?
MIGUEL AS PRINCIPAL???
LYLA BEING THE LOUD SPEAKER ANNOUNCER?
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clanwarrior-tumbly · 11 months
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i don't much know tmc so i hope this makes sense, but 65 for adam and jonah and friendly alternate reader? maybe it goes the way you laid out in your original post, where the events of volume 2 make them distrust reader briefly and the fic is set in the aftermath?
Good idea! Also this is slightly different from how I wrote those hcs, but the general idea is still there!
65) "I didn't mean it...please forgive me."
.......
While waiting for your human friends to finish their investigation inside the house, you remained in the van that you all arrived in, trying your best to remain patient.
You would have much rather accompanied them, knowing of the dangers present....however the fragile trust you've formed with the two was close to shattering.
Preacher arrived without any warning on the second night, and you caught her whispering things to Adam while he was trying to get some sleep. Jonah was wide awake and had the misfortune of seeing her face-to-face before he hid somewhere, allowing you to confront her.
Although you succeeded in driving her off by pretending that they were your victims to claim, he wildly misinterpreted your actions and believed you summoned her here to kill them both. He didn't believe your ruse for a second, as he freaked out on you and demanded you to get out.
In fear of triggering a panic attack in the already frightened boy, you just quietly left, but stayed inside the van to ensure that no other Alternates could interfere with the radio signal or hijack it.
Yet as the minutes dragged on, you grew more and more worried about their well being.
Preacher easily believed your lie--considering Alternates were master manipulators--so she won't be coming back anytime soon...but you didn't like the thought of leaving those two all by themselves.
Sometime later you saw the front door open, and you teleported out of the van, finding Jonah standing there. He appeared unharmed, much to your relief.
However that's when you noticed only he emerged from the house..Adam was nowhere in sight.
"Jonah, are you alright? Where's Adam?"
"Th-The basement door opened..and he wanted to check it out. I-I told him not to, but he wouldn't listen!" He panicked, before he suddenly fell silent as his expression turned to a hateful scowl--aimed at you. "I bet you opened it, didn't you? Or was it your freaky lady friend?"
"That was neither my doing nor hers. And she's not my "lady friend"." You huffed, wishing he'd stop accusing you. "Why did you leave him all alone in there? It's too dangerous."
"He doesn't know the first thing about "danger". You don't think I've been trying to tell him these ghost hunts are gonna get us killed one day?! It's like he doesn't even hear me! We both know his mom is dead and he's looking for something that's not actually there..but god forbid I ever tell him that. I'm just sick of him getting pissed off at me for wanting to fucking live."
"I understand your frustration, but..leaving him behind is not the solution here." You tried to reason with him. "To my knowledge that's not how friends should treat each other, even if they-"
"I'm not sure if I even see him as my "friend" anymore." He scoffed, hugging himself as the air grew chillier. "He literally screamed at me to leave, [y/n]. So that's what I'm doing. I don't give a shit about him or the fame or the money anymore. I'm done. I'm going back home. Alone."
Hoping to put this conversation to rest, Jonah stormed past you and hopped into the driver's seat, trying to start the engine...but it wasn't turning on at all.
He tried hotwiring it as well--to no avail.
"Shit, [y/n]..are you doing this?" He glanced at you, annoyed. "Are you screwing with the transmission?"
"........."
"C'mon, I'm not in the mood for-"
"We cannot leave him behind, child." You insisted. As much as you hated to anger your friend, this was the only way he'll listen. "Is this truly how you wish to end things between you two?"
"I'm not a child, I'm a grown ass man. And I've made my choice, and he made his."
"It doesn't have to be that way. I can still help you both-"
"If you're so insistent on "helping" me, you'll let me start this goddamn car and stay out of my life!!" Jonah slammed his hands on the steering wheel, but unfortunately for him, you weren't about to give into his childish tantrum.
"The only way I can help you is by NOT letting you leave." You shook your head, trying to stay calm and logical. "There is no running away anymore, Jonah. If the others realize you are all by yourself...they will come for you, including him."
"...wait, how do you know he'll show up?" He blinked.
"Because...I've known him since our creation. I'm aware of his patterns. Your government calls him Intruder, children call him Stanley....we call him Six. His connection with technology knows no boundaries, including radios and GPS, so it's imperative that I'm here to stop him from- "
"Oh, so you've been bffs with that child kidnapper since the dawn of time...and you're telling me he could've been fucking eavesdropping on all our conversations regarding BPS?!!"
"I.." For a moment you tensed up, realizing you may have said too much. "No, Jonah. That's not what-"
"Damn, I wish I knew all of that before we decided to trust you." Tears welled up in his eyes again, threatening to spill over. "Adam never should've let you come along. I told him he was making a huge mistake letting you out of that TV..and guess who was right?!!"
Your nonexistent heart sunk slightly at his words.
"Jonah, please calm down. You're not thinking-"
You tried setting a comforting hand on his shoulder, but he violently smacked it away before your claws could even graze his jacket.
"DON'T FUCKING TOUCH ME!! You're all the same....you're a bunch of heartless, lying, demonic bastards who destroyed our lives and made our loved ones kill themselves!!" He choked out. "You've taken everything from us...a-and if it weren't for you....THEN MAYBE ADAM WOULD STILL BE ALIVE RIGHT NOW!!"
You physically flinched at his screaming, having never seen a human look so enraged...yet sorrowful at the same time. The emotions emanating from him were quite powerful, and when he stopped to take several deep breaths, you needed a moment to absorb them all.
But seeing as you didn't immediately leave, Jonah felt his resolve completely crumble as he gritted his teeth together, trying to stop his sobs from escaping..only for them to come out as small hiccups and gasps.
"J-Just stop pretending to care, alright? Go and...a-and leave me be." Tears streaked down his face as he clutched the steering wheel with trembling hands, laying his head on it as he tried muffling his sobs.
He felt like he just gave himself M.A.D with how badly he felt like dying right now.
Although you were initially stunned by his emotions going from one extreme to the other so quickly, you snapped out your shock and frowned slightly at his distraught state.
'He's so young...and has gone through far too much...'
You gently reached over to set your hand on his back, feeling his entire body trembling beneath your fingertips. Surprisingly enough, he didn't shove your comfort away this time as he was too busy scrubbing away his tears.
You understood that he didn't actually mean those hurtful things. He just needed to lash out after all the stress of these past few nights, and you so happened to be the closest person--whose species is the very cause of his anxieties.
"[Y/n]..I-I..I know you're not like the others. It's just...I'm so lost and I'm so fucking scared to lose one more friend...!" His voice cracked. "I-I don't wanna lose him.."
"I know, my little fish.." You soothed. "I know your heart and mind are deeply troubled. I know you're very afraid...but rest assure, I will not let anything bad happen to either of you. Whatever you think of my kind is fine, but please understand that I would never pretend to care for your safety. It is...my purpose to protect you both from their evil ways."
"..a-according to who?"
"Me. Not my "Savior" or anybody else." Taking your hand off his back, you stepped away as he finally looked up at you. His eyes were wet and tinted red from crying so hard, but through blurred vision he could see you offering your hand. "Come, let us seek out Adam. I sense he is still alive."
With a small nod, Jonah grasped your hand so you could help him out of the van, though as soon as you let him go....he hugged you unexpectedly.
You blinked, looking down at him in confusion. "Jonah? Is everything okay?"
"Y-Yeah, I...I'm just sorry about what I said to you." He sniffled quietly, his forehead pressed to your chest. "I didn't mean it..please forgive me. You know how I tend to say stupid shit when I'm scared and-"
"You needn't justify yourself, my friend. I absolve you." You smiled as you patted his head. "I have gotten worse insults in my lifetime, so they don't affect me as much."
"Good to know. Also...why did you call me "little fish"? I don't hate it or anything, but I was wondering."
"Ah, because you remind me of some...old friends, we'll say. Were you ever told the story of Jonah and the Whale?"
"...uh-"
"What ever happened to "I won't be here to confirm that"?"
The moment was cut short as Jonah suddenly let you go, looking back to see Adam emerge from the house completely unharmed. He had the camcorder and other equipment in his arms, and an annoyed expression on his face.
As he approached the van, he stopped short upon seeing the other male, blinking in bewilderment. "Were you crying?"
"..n-no, it's the allergies. I told you it's that damn cat's fault.." After making a point to wipe his eyes, Jonah shoved his hands into his pockets. "So um...what did you find in that basement?"
"Just an old TV. And you're right about that cat..it was actually an Alternate. But I got some other good footage, so I'm ready to bail."
"What about staying-?"
"We'll tell the lady we stayed all three nights." Adam shrugged. "It's not like she'll know."
"Oh, so now you listen?"
"....look, this shit's getting heavy. So if you don't mind-"
"I'll help." You spoke up, disliking this growing tension in the air as you took the heavier equipment away from Adam and loaded up the van with it.
But still, you refused to allow it to start, and Jonah knew exactly why.
He couldn't just act like he didn't have that huge fight with his friend only a short time ago, so they both talked for a few minutes, apologizing to one another and hugging it out.
When they heard the engine crank on, they immediately rushed towards the van...only to see you sitting behind the wheel, much to their confusion.
They didn't know Alternates could drive.
"You kids had a rough few nights. I'll take us wherever you desire to go." You offered.
"Jeez, since when did we have our own chaperone?" Adam rolled his eyes, but opted to climb into the back while Jonah called shotgun. "I guess we owe you an apology too, right?"
"Well..Jonah and I talked it out already, but I forgive you both."
"Yeah...I still feel like shit, though."
"Dude," the brunette huffed. "What did you say to them?"
Jonah opened his mouth to speak, but thought better of it as he didn't wanna bring up the harsh words he said out of frustration and anxiety. Instead he just shook his head. "I-It doesn't matter. Let's just get outta here and go for some pizza."
"I would very much like that." You agreed, backing out of the driveway and heading down the main road.
"And....as thanks for putting up with our bullshit, we'll let you pick the toppings this time."
"What?!" Adam's jaw dropped, but your smile only grew, and he had no choice but to relent.
It was certainly something to think about on the way to the pizza shop you all knew and loved.
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backtothefanfiction · 4 months
Text
One Last Date For Christmas | PART ONE: An Arrangement At The Christmas Party
Summary: Another year, The same Christmas party and holiday hook up... or is it?
Warnings: 18+ Only, Smut (oral M & F receiving, p in v, mild dirty talk with Christmas references), Mentions of Cancer/Death, Fake Dating, Fuck Buddies to Lovers, this is basically Hallmark/Netflix Christmas movie vibes
Word Count: 5.9K+
A/N: Okay, so I've been feeling crumby lately and really need a boost, so although we took a poll and it was decided this whole story would go up as one piece at the same time, I need the motivation and have had a crumby week mentally and need a boost. So here is part 1. If you do enjoy PLEASE LEAVE ME FEEDBACK!!! I am like Tinkerbell, if I don't get attention I will die haha. But seriously my mental health needs the kind words for energy so please take a moment to share some if you like this part and not just like it. Anyway... ENJOY!!!
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Another year, another fancy corporate business party Peter was obliged to attend due to his job. It had become such a regular routine over these last 7 years J. Jonah Jameson didn’t even bother asking if he was available to come anymore, just automatically emailed over the details so he could attend. 
Peter couldn’t completely complain. He got free drinks and fancy food for the night. I mean in reality he got to act just like any other guest, despite the camera he had around his neck for the night. And instead of paying to be there, he was instead getting paid to be there. Sure it was only an extra couple hundred bucks, but at this time of year it really did make all the difference.
Being a freelance photographer only made him so much a year, especially when the rest of his time was spent moonlighting as the local superhero which didn’t pay a thing. Not that he couldn’t have made some money as a public figure. A couple grand here to endorse a few products. A donation of thanks or two from business owners or generous members of the community there. All of which had been options that he had turned down. That wasn’t who Spider-Man was and definitely not who he wanted Spider-Man to be. And so at almost 40 years old, this was Peter’s life.
No wife. No kids. Not even a pet, because he couldn’t commit to spending enough time at home in his tiny run down box of a studio apartment, to look after it. He sometimes brought girls home, he did have needs after all, but no matter how interested they had been in him, he’d never let himself get attached. After Gwen he would never get attached again.
The only one to ever even come close was you. He had met you 5 years ago now at this very event. Just like him, you always felt like a fish out of water at these parties, despite always being on the guest list. Your Father was one of the big business benefactors of the party and ever since the divorce you had become his regular plus one. 
Just like Peter you were a chronic singleton, always too busy traveling for work to be able to sustain an actual relationship, despite your Mother trying her best every time you were home to set you up with some poor soul. She just didn’t get it. You didn’t believe in marriage anymore as most of them ended in divorce, your parents marriage and even two of your Uncle’s marriages prime examples alone; and as for children? You had decided at the age of 13 you wouldn’t have kids and no matter how many times your Mother, Grandmother or Aunt Sarah told you, you would change your mind, you hadn’t. If anything the birth of your brother’s kids had only cemented things more. 
It wasn’t that you didn’t like your niece and nephew, you were just always glad you could pass them back off to your brother and his wife after a few hours of their shrieking play and demands for cookies and ice cream, while fighting over what to watch on the telly. No, you had never wanted kids and you never would. You had however always wanted to get a cat, but until you changed jobs or just simply didn’t have to travel for work anymore, that would just remain a lovely little dream for the future.
Peter always arrived to the party early. After all, he was getting paid by the hour, so the longer he was there taking photos, the more money he could claim from the Daily Bugle finance department on Monday. He aimlessly wandered around taking photos of the venue and the table settings and the odd entering guest as people arrived. He helped himself to horderves off of shiny platters and the odd glass of champagne as he worked, seamlessly floating through the crowd, formally stopping people every now and again for more posed group shots, other times just taking candid photos of people mingling. He took the occasional booming order from J. Jonah Jameson, “Hey Parker! Make sure you get a shot of me with the Mayor. Parker! Come here and take a photo of me and Mrs Perez! Parker! Take a picture of me and my wife!”
“Yes, sir.” Peter would respond with a smile. Usually you were here by now to laugh at the way he followed the head of the Daily Bugle around like his lap dog, but as of yet you still hadn’t arrived. Then a horrible thought crossed Peter’s mind, ‘what if you weren’t coming this year.’ He had seen your Father walking about, had even taken a couple of photos of him with various business partners and city officials, but as of yet there had been no sign of you.
Peter checked his watch again hoping you were just running late, but the closer it got to 8.30pm and the start of the meal portion of the night, he started to give up hope. He knew you were busy, always flying between Tokyo, Milan, London and Paris for work; but you were always usually back home for the holidays. He was just about to check his watch again when you came through the door like a whirlwind in red.
He watched you like a Spider sizing up his prey as you made a beeline for your Father. You gave him a rushed greeting and an apologetic kiss to the cheek, before you followed him and the rest of his group to their table, placed closer to the small makeshift stage that had been erected at one end of the long window lined room. He kept his focus on you as you took your seat, your father pushing your chair in for you as you turned to greet one of the other women at the table a couple seats away from you. That was, until J. Jonah Jameson’s booming voice called him away again.
“Parker! You’re over here with us!” He barked as he ushered Peter over to a table on the other side of the room. He was just able to lock eyes with you and give you a friendly smile before he took his seat. “I’ve sat you on this side so you can get the wife’s good side.” Jameson continued to say.
There was a couple of speeches and awards before the food was served. Peter was pleased to find that he was in fact in a good vantage point in which he could take pictures of the stage this year without having to move. He also had a clear sightline to you too, his lens unconsciously moving in your direction every few shots then back again.
Peter had chosen the steak and hasselback potatoes for his dinner with a rich chocolate pudding for dessert. When he finished his meal, he dismissed himself from the table, as he traditionally did, to go around the tables and take a few more candid shots of people before taking a break at the bar. 
“I’ll take an old fashioned, please.” Your familiar voice suddenly came from beside him. “I’m sorry I was late.” you said as you leaned into him as if conspiratorially. “My flight got delayed.”
“Where were you coming from this time?” Peter asked as he took a sip from his own drink.
“Boston.” You said with a sigh. It definitely hadn’t been the answer he was expecting and his quizzical look at you said as much. “I was visiting my Mother. Her and her new partner Brad moved there a few months back to be closer to his grandchildren.” You explained.
“I’m guessing that means you got away with not being set up on a blind date this visit.” Peter fished, knowing your Mother’s habits and routines well after these last 5 years of annual hookups.
“You’d think so.” You said as you took a sip of your stiff drink, just to emphasize the drama of it all. “Turns out Maggie’s teacher is single and available.” you say with mock enthusiasm.
“Maggie?” Peter questions.
“One of Brad’s grandchildren.” you fill in with another sigh and eyebrow raise. “I wish she’d just give it a rest, you know?” You pause as you take another sip of your drink before you tell him, “I’m thinking of coming up with a fake boyfriend just to get her off my back. But then I know she’ll be all like ‘when do I get to meet him?’” you say doing an exaggerated impersonation of your Mother’s voice.
“Yeah, I think about doing the same thing with Aunt May sometimes, but I’d hate lying to her.” Peter confided.
“How is your Aunt?” you ask. The one blessing of only seeing each other once a year meant there were always things for you both to talk about and catch up on.
You watch as his face falls, his eyes turning sad as he looks into his drink. “Umm, they’re not good actually. We found out this year she has stage 4 breast cancer. The doctor said this is probably gonna be her last Christmas.” He struggles to look at you.
“Peter, I’m so sorry.” you say, mustering up as much empathy as you can as your hand instinctively comes to rub at his back. “Is there nothing they can do?”
“They said they could try a few different treatments but it wasn’t guaranteed to work and May ultimately decided that… Well she said that she’s lived to a good age and if this is how she is meant to go, this is how she is meant to go.” He paused, blinking hard as he continued to stare at the liquid in his glass. “She said I was a grown man and didn’t need her anymore.” He let out a small unsatisfied chuckle that wreaked of denial, before he finally looked at you again. “I just… I just feel guilty, you know?”
“What for?” You asked him.
“It’s just. I know she was always holding onto this hope that I’d meet someone. That I’d end up finding someone and settling down. Live a life like her and Ben did.”
“But that’s not what you want from your life?” you question him now unsure, as you finally sit yourself on the bar stool next to him. “I mean, if you wanted that, isn’t that what you would have done? Gone out, met a girl. Settled down. You can’t be someone you’re not just to please others.”
“But it was what I wanted.” he suddenly confides. “And that’s why I feel guilty because she knows that. When I first introduced her to Gwen, I said, ‘that’s the girl I’m going to marry Aunt May.’” he says with gusto, like he’s saying it exactly how he had said it to her, before his body deflates again.
“But things change. People change. We’re allowed to change Peter.”
“I know, but… she just, I know she never gave up hope.”
“You know what they say about hope?” You say.
“It breeds eternal misery,” he bristles.
“No.” You chastise. “It’s like the sun, if you only believe in it when you can see it, you’ll never make it through the night.”
Peter’s brow furrows as his head turns back to you. “Did you just quote Star Wars to me?”
“Princess Leia.” you smile.
“God I love you.” he says casually with a smile.
“I know.” you continue to beam back before you raise your glass towards him. “For Aunt May?”
“For Aunt May.” he agrees before clinking your glass with his own.
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You both creep away a little before midnight, catching a cab back to your apartment. You always went back to your apartment. Peter said it was because he wanted you to be comfortable and said it was more homelier than his place, but the truth was, Peter was ashamed to take you back to his own apartment. It looked like a dingy run down squat or some really dodgy student housing in comparison to your place. 
He didn’t want to kid himself, he knew he was definitely punching above his weight a little when it came to you, not because he necessarily thought he was ugly, but more simply because you had more money than him. You’d never made him feel inferior for it. In fact you’d always wanted to help him by offering to put him in contact with some galleries so he could get more of his work out there. Maybe make some extra cash by selling some of his photos as art for the rich and wealthy, not just to a local paper, but Peter had never had the guts to take you up on the offer. It would make him feel indebted to you and throw the balance of your relationship off even more than it somewhat already was.
“Did you choose red because it’s my favourite color or just for the festivities?” He nibbled on your ear as his fingers ran across the velvet skirt of the dress, dragging it up to your thigh as he pressed himself against your back.
You hadn’t bothered turning on any other lights than the Christmas tree, before you stopped to take a moment to look out your window at the city. Christmas in New York was your favorite time of year. Every year to mark the occasion, you would go down to Rockefeller Plaza, grab a hot chocolate and watch as they turned on the lights. As kids you would go ice skating there. Less so now you were adults, your brother and his own kids had their own tradition of skating in Central Park on Christmas Eve, but some years you would still partake.
“I chose it for the season.” You sighed, your body relaxing back into him, head resting on his shoulder as he kissed his way down your neck.
“My festive little elf.” He teased as his fingers continued to work up the hem of your dress until they could reach your panties, which you had in fact bought new and chosen with Peter in mind.
“I even brought presents.” You plaid along teasingly.
Your breathing hitched slightly as the pads of his fingers dragged over your lace covered clit.
“Really? For me?” You could feel him smiling into the exposed skin of your collarbone.
“Mhmm.” You hum. “Maybe, you should unwrap me.” You tease back.
“Mmm.” He hums back deeply in delight as he turns you around to face him. The hand that was just ghosting at your centre, now wraps firmly around the back of your neck, as he smashes your rouge stained lips into his. 
His other hand begins pawing at the velvety fabric of your dress again before he’s pulling his face away from you, his grin growing too big and you can’t help but give a satisfying smile back as you notice how your lipstick has transferred from your lips to his, marking him as yours for the evening. Your hand reaches for his and you begin taking steps backwards, pulling him in the direction of your bedroom and awaiting bed.
Your room is a slight mess from your hasty packing before you left for Boston and your equally hasty unpacking upon your return. You’d just had enough time to get home and get changed, rushing your make up and hair, before you left to go to the party. Your suitcase lay open on the floor, some of the contents lay spilling out from where you had hunted around for your makeup bag. The little pink bag from Victoria Secret sat upside down on the floor beside it. Peter spies it the moment he enters the room.
He feigns shock, “Did you buy this for me?” He teases as he picks up the bag.
“Don’t get too excited Parker, they were having a sale.”
“I don’t care.” He says with a boyish grin, despite his 39 years of age. “Come here and let me see.”
You smile at him as you begin to step closer to him before calling out into the room, “Alexa, turn on mood lighting.”
His eyebrows raise as a lamp in the corner of the room turns on, illuminating your bedroom in a magenta hue. “Mood lighting huh?”
“Do you wanna be able to see your Christmas gift or not?” You sass back with a hand on your hip.
“I mean, I’ve always thought of you as my Christmas present, regardless of what you wear.” He says as his fingers begin to grab for you again and pull you into him.
“Next year I won’t bother then.”
“Oh no, you’ve made it a thing now. I’m gonna expect this, every- single- year- from now on.” He says between kisses across your cheek and down your neck and upper chest. You begin to giggle and shriek in delight as his lips gently nibble at your skin. “Mmm.  Come on then. Let’s see what you got for me.” He says ripping himself away from you so you have the space to reach behind you for the zipper to your dress. 
The dress begins to relax its hold on your body, slowly exposing the black strapless lace bra to Peter before you slide the dress down the rest of your body to show off the matching lacey bikini briefs. You carefully step out of the puddle that now is the red velvet dress on your floor, your ankles only wobbling slightly as you still stand in your heels for him to take in the full sight.
He pauses for a moment silently taking you in before he gives a small nod. “Yes. Yes, this will do. Excuse me a moment while I go and write my thank you letter to San-“
“Peter.” You whine.
“Oh come on, don’t be bratty with me now.” He says jokingly as he steps closer and wraps you in his arms again.
“I thought you liked it when I was bratty.” You joke back as your arms wrap around his neck.
“Nope. You become completely intolerable and insufferable and…” You roll your eyes as he continues to list words, but nonetheless, begin to snake your arms from around his neck, trailing them down his chest as you begin to get down on your knees before him.
You begin to work open the button of his jeans, freeing his semi hard cock from its confines. He only stops his fake monologue about you acting like a brat when you take his length into your mouth and his hand involuntarily reaches out for the side of your head as he sighs. 
The only sounds that fill the room now are his small gasps and moans and your saliva slick lips around his cock. One of your hands braces itself on his thigh, whilst the other works the rest of his shaft your mouth won’t reach.
You pull off him with a sloppy pop of your lips and Peter groans before you begin to circle the tip of his cock with your tongue and he jumps away from you with sensitivity, suddenly worried he’d blow his load too soon if you continue like that. It makes you giggle.
His fingers reach around the flesh of your bicep and he pulls you up off the floor before pulling you into him, his head nuzzling into your neck, lips and teeth nibbling and teasing at your skin and driving you crazy. He’d worked out that you liked that on the second Christmas you had slept together. He loved the way it made you sigh but also giggle and shriek when the sensation grew too much.
“Ahhh Peter.” you cried out with a high pitched moan. 
He reluctantly broke himself away from you and the intoxicating smell of your favorite perfume so you could latch your mouth onto his, a satisfied smile struggling to be contained on your lips. He can’t help but smile back.
“Peter!” you shriek and giggle as he reaches around to pick you up and drop you back onto the covers of your bed.
Your hands get lost in his hair as he begins kissing his way down your chest. Your stomach involuntarily twitches as his lips move across it and the way his hands reach for your hips to forcefully hold you in place sends you reeling, a wave of arousal soaking your panties. His lips skip over your underwear, instead kissing at the inside of your thigh as his hands begin to relax on your hips, his fingers curling under the waistband of your underwear, ready to pull them down.
As he removes you of your underwear, he also takes the opportunity to rid himself of the flattering black long sleeved top he’d been wearing all evening. The removal of his shirt reveals a silver necklace that had been hiding beneath the shirt and the way the chain hangs off his neck has you biting your lip. It is so rare to see a man wear jewelry so you never realized the effect the sight had on you before, but there's something about the connotations and hidden meaning to it, his choice and confidence to wear it, makes you want to rub your thighs together in want. 
His fingers are suddenly teasing at your entrance though and its almost enough to take the edge off, or it would be if his finger hadn’t stopped at the first knuckle of his middle finger. You realize he’s only done it so he can spread the arousal that was already leaking out of your cunt around between your folds and across your clit so he can then go in and lick it all off. Your head falls back into the pillows of your bed as you sigh out his name in relief.
You can feel the focus he has radiating off of him without even looking as he begins to expertly lick up from your entrance, swirl his tongue around your clit and then back down again as he draws moans, ever increasing in volume, from your lips. You found out very early on in your yearly dalliances that he was an expert with that tongue, making you cum not once, not twice, but three times just from his tongue alone, when you told him no one had ever actually gotten you off that way before.
You could feel your first climax of the night building low within you, your muscles growing tight, clit growing extra sensitive as your fingers tangled themselves into his hair, encouraging him and guiding him and not allowing him to pull away until you finished. The pressure of his tongue grew firmer and you ground your clit down against it until that tight thread within you snapped, your hips stuttering as pleasure rippled through you. He held tightly onto you, lapping up everything you gave him and helping you ride it out until you were actively pushing him away from you. He gave your bare thighs a small satisfactory slap as he gave you his smug tight lipped  smile that seemed to say ‘another happy customer’ and you couldn’t help but let out a little giggle before turning your head and trying to hide the ear to ear smile that was on your face.
You were able to compose yourself as he shifted from the bed to shuck himself fully off the rest of his clothes, his jeans joining your red dress in a puddle on the floor, before he carefully lifted the necklace off over his head and placed it on your bedside table. You shifted yourself over on the bed as he came down to rest beside you, his hand reaching out to pull your face to him as he gave you a kiss before he encouraged you to climb up on top of him.  Your lips didn’t part from his as you straddled his waist, your cunt involuntarily rubbing itself along his hard length as your tongues intermingled with one another.
His fingers reached round to grab a hold of your ass cheeks, squeezing the flesh as he encouraged you to grind down harder. You moaned and gasped against his lips at the drag of your clit across his skin. Your open mouth before him allowed him to reach out for your lower lip, sucking it into his mouth making you moan louder, before he began to trail kisses down your chin and neck. You closed your eyes, getting lost in the feeling and the sounds of your own voice. It sent a new flood of arousal between your legs and you could feel Peter grinning against your skin as you worked your slick over his length.
You paused only long enough to reach over to your chest of drawers, pulling a box of condoms out of the second drawer. The position allowed Peter to attach his mouth over your breasts, his teeth biting at them over the lace bra. You reached behind you to unclasp it and take it off as you sat upright, Peter’s hands resting patiently on the tops of your thighs as he waited for you to then open the condom. You held out the torn open packet for him to take the condom and start rolling it down onto his length as you reached back over the side of the bed to drop the wrapper in the bin. 
You shifted your legs back slightly as you recentred yourself, one hand balancing on the bed, the other on his bare chest as he lined himself up with your entrance. He glided the tip of his cock against your folds, covering the tip of his cock with your slick before he began to encourage you back onto it. The slow fill of his cock inside you had you letting out a long sigh of satisfaction, your eyes falling closed, head tilting back as you savored the feeling.
It had been a slow year. Despite a brief hook up with a guy over the summer after a night out with friends and a quick tinder hookup in your hotel in Rome (where the guy spoke barely a lick of English), your only companion had been your old reliable rabbit toy. You’d be lying if you hadn’t been counting down the days to tonight the whole time you had been visiting your Mother. When your flight had been delayed, it was the thought of missing out on your one good and guaranteed fuck of the year that had stressed you out. Now it all seemed worth it.
Peter started slowly, his hips pushing up into you at an agonizing pace as he guided you down and your hips back with every thrust, the contours of his cock dragging agonizingly slowly across every sensitive spot inside you, working you up gradually to another earth shattering climax. Your body bowed over him as you let out small gasps of praise into his forehead, your fingers gripping tightly into the sheets either side of his head. You felt one of his hands run soothingly up your back and it sent shivers down your spine that only added to the sensation building in between your legs.
“Peter.” you sighed against him, as you pressed your forehead into his, your eyes closed in concentration as you chased that feeling inside you.
“What is it? What do you need?” his voice gently calls to you as he moves the hand that was caressing your back round behind your neck, pulling your lips down to his for a kiss.
“More. I need more.” you say equally as gently back into his lips. 
You feel his head give a small nod in acknowledgment before he seals the deal with a kiss, as his thrusts begin to grow quicker and firmer in pace. It makes him hit something deep inside you that has you crying out. Your eyes fly open, desperate to lock onto his. He looks up at you with such beauty and gratitude. It makes you want to kiss him again and you do, your tongue licking deeply and slowly into his mouth in rhythm with his thrusts.
Your thighs shudder slightly as the sensation between your legs changes and you know your cumming again but the feeling of his cock moving between your legs doesn’t stop. It works you through the high and he still doesn’t stop. Instead his thrusts grow fast as he searches for his own release. You brace yourself, holding yourself over him as he just takes what he wants. If he holds out long enough you think you can get out one more orgasm of your own.
You balance yourself on one arm as your other hand reaches between your legs, swirling rapidly at your clit as you push yourself against his length, feeling every sensation of his rapid thrust. Peter grunts in response at the sensation of your fluttering cunt and it forces him to find one final push, his hips sputtering only slightly before he increases his angle and speed one last time, then he’s embracing you.
His arms wrap tightly around you as your final climax soaks his cock. Your head is buried into his neck as you try to shut out the overstimulation for just a few more strokes of his cock before he stills, his length pulsating as he finishes, only adding to the sensitivity between your legs making you squirm. He’s quick to push you off him as you do, his own sensitivity unable to take the feeling.
You both pause breathing deeply as you come down before he gives you a small tap and you flop onto your side on the bed. He quickly gets up, kicking his legs out to disperse the blood around them as his cock softens. You close your eyes to revel in the last dregs of your orgasm as he goes to your adjoining ensuite to sort himself out.
He takes a little longer than usual and you begin to frown, but then you hear the flush of the toilet and the door opening and you settle. You quickly get up, flashing him a smile as you hobble to your bathroom with legs like a newborn calf. Usual he’d let out a proud little chuffing laugh but this year he doesn’t.
When you return to see him sat on the side of the bed in his underwear, his fingers reaching to fix the necklace he had taken off back over his head and around his neck, you realize he looks distracted. “What is it? What’s wrong?” you ask him as you climb over the bed to your rightful side and slip between the covers.
His head turns, eyebrows raising as if he’s only just noticed you’re back in the room. “Huh?” he says. “Oh, nothing.”
“Really?” you say as he shuffles himself round to face you, put he doesn’t get under the covers. Peter doesn’t sleep over. He stays for a debrief and a chat for maybe another hour, some years two, but always leaves to return to his own apartment and bed.
“It’s just,” he says as he places an arm under his head as he gets himself comfortable, “I was just thinking about what you said earlier.”
“What did I say earlier?” you reply as you shift into a similar position to his, facing him. You look like two kids at a slumber party who have moved so close to each other so you can whisper really quietly and not disturb the others who are sleeping.
“About pretending to have a boyfriend to get your Mom off your case.”
You frown at him, “Yeah, but it’d never work because she’d want to meet him.”
“Okay, yeah.” he says, but his tone isn’t one of defeat, it instead says ‘wait, hear me out’. “But what if you had someone to take home and pretend to be said boyfriend?”
You’re still confused. “What are you trying to get at here Parker?” You suddenly sit up, placing distance between the two of you as a realization hits you. “Wait, this isn’t you asking me out or trying to be my boyfriend is it? You know I don’t really do the whole dating thing. We have our arrangement and that's-”
“No. NO. Would you just hear me out.” he speaks over you and cuts you off as he too sits up defensively. “Look, I just thought we could come to some sort of arrangement.” You’re silent as he pauses and takes a deep breath and you wait for him to continue. “Okay.” he says, his hands folding in his lap, “This is probably gonna be my Aunt May’s last Christmas.” he says and the implication of his words make you bristle. He struggles to look at you, but your eyes remain fixed on him so he know that you are listening and paying attention, even if his words are starting to make you uncomfortable. “I don’t want her to die thinking I’m gonna spend the rest of my life alone, you know? I mean,” he sighs, collecting his thoughts before he continues, “I don’t want her to die without hope.”
“Okay.” you acknowledge quietly as you follow his words.
“So I was thinking, what if- just for this christmas,” he emphasizes, “what if we pretend to you know, actually date. Come the New Year we go our separate ways as normal, no strings attached, but you know, just to get our families off our backs so we can live our chosenly single lives.” He screws up his face a little at the word chosenly, which he’s all but sure he’s made up but figures he’s gotten his point across.
“So, we pretend to date for the holidays to get our parents off our backs?” you frown, checking you’ve got his proposal right.
“Yeah. You’d come for Christmas Eve dinner with my Aunt and I’ll…” his voice trails off as he wracks his brain for an equal solution for you.
“You’ll come to Boston with me for my Mother’s New Years party.” You fill in for him.
He hesitates a second realizing he’d actually need to travel and stay with you and your family to make things even on your side of things, but the thought of letting May die thinking he’s going to be lonely forever, has his stomach turning more so he hastily agrees. “Fine, but-” he interjects, knowing a single day with his Aunt for a supposedly 2-3 day trip with your family isn’t a fair exchange, “if my Aunt is still with us in February, you have to stop by on Valentines day.”
“I thought you just said we go our separate ways come January.” You respond.
“Yes, but one meal with my Aunt in comparison to a multi day trip to Boston is hardly an equal-”
“Fine. Fine.” You concede with your hands raised.
He relaxes slightly as you come to an agreement. “You wanna shake hands on it or something?” he offers. You roll your eyes, your fingers reaching for the pillow you’d pulled into your lap to nervously fiddle with instead, picking it up and throwing it at him. “Hey.” he jokingly exclaims as he holds his hands up to catch the pillow before it hits him in the face. “Is that any way to treat your new boyfriend?” he deadpans.
“Uuuhhgg.” you scoff back with another eye roll but you can’t help the tiny smirk that creeps into the corner of your mouth.
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I'm going to upload the other parts of this mini series on the dates that match up with the story (Christmas Eve, New Years Eve), if you want to be added to the list below, please put it in writing. All current tags have been taken from likes, reblogs or comments from other posts about this series, if you wish to be removed, just let me know. (I had a few more names who liked posts but it wouldn't let me tag you, apologies, I'm not sure how to fix that but I hope this finds you anyway.) Once again if you did like this, please don't just like it, respond with some words of your own to give me a boost.
@sincericida @tarzinnia @raindropsandteaandtears @xenasolos @dil3mma @ms-wild-card-56 @shivani1902
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gabzilla-z · 11 months
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ok quick thoughts, spoilers behind the cut.
Pros:
Halle. HALLE. H a l l e. Her voice, her face, her mannerisms. They took what made Ariel special in the animated movie and built on it and she was the perfect person to pull it off.
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Her beauty was distracting.
So glad they finally got a singer for a live action, I couldn’t take another B&B autotuned disaster.
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Made me want to get to the nearest rock and play mermaid ngl.
I had my doubts with Jonah but he did a great job with Eric, played the shy, kinda awkward potato prince charming to perfection. Loved that they expanded his backstory and his interest in adventure and the sea. Also A+ for the movie knowing he had a white shirt on while surrounded by water and using every chance it had to drench him.
Eric still being caring and worried about Ariel even under Ursula’s spell? 10/10 no notes.
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He came to chew bubblegum and be dreamy and he was all out of bubblegum.
Halle and Jonah’s chemistry was insane, I need them to do ten movies making eyes at each other.
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Seriously the movie could have been 2 hours of them interacting in that library and it would have been money well spent.
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or just two hours of them being cute smol and tol in a boat idc
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TRUE LOVE INDEED
Can’t wait for this movie to be out in D+ so I can reblog all the gifs.
Part of Your World and all reprises were ofc gorgeous. Vanessa’s Trick is haunting and exactly what one would want for a siren song. For the First Time is gorgeous and underrated, felt very Broadway-esque. Eric’s song was corny but in a good way.
The rest of the songs are adequate but are not as good as the original ones.
Gotta said, song aside, the Kiss the Girl scene was more endearing in this version. When she helps him figure out her name?
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Melissa was good as Ursula and made the character her own, though I think she was not as scary as she could have been. Better than I expected, though.
The actress that plays Vanessa knew she had 5 minutes to make an impression and used them to the fullest. Delightful.
Cons:
The CGI felt unfinished and so did the color grading/lighting. I edited all the movie images in this post (just played with the saturation and the contrast) and I’m mediocre at best. HIRE TUMBLR EDITORS, DISNEY.
Halle deserved to wear more outfits, I can't believe Disney missed an opportunity to sell more dolls. Would have given her a dress for each day on land and the water dress. Mouse, I thought you liked money.
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we could have had it all
Wanted more of her sisters tbh. And less Triton, Javier phoned it in imo. I know Triton and Ariel’s relationship is an important part of the original movie but idk if it was his half assed acting or me wanting more of the sisters, but I wasn’t moved.
Flounder's weird character design was saved by his stellar voice actor and Sebastian grew on me, he was hilarious. Scuttlefina was tolerable but gosh she’s always playing the same character, stop casting her in everything.
Less I say about Scuttlebutt the better. Kids are probably gonna love it, though.
The ending was kinda weird? It felt rushed and the battle with Ursula was disappointing. Which is a surprise because the OTHER stormy scene at night was wonderfully done. 
Up to Ursula taking Ariel back to the ocean it felt really cohesive but the second Triton appears to save her it was like they were trying to speed things up and it got... weird.
Didn’t mind Ariel being the one that killed Ursula, after everything she put her through.
Cannot believe the movie robbed us of Jonah screaming “I lost her once, I’m not gonna lose her again!”
Overall it was a well paced (up to the finale), entertaining, charming movie. Despite its faults, the only Disney live action I want to rewatch (outside MAYBE Cinderella).
8/10 Justice for the foam dress.
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romanarose · 11 months
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He Didn't Have to Be
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Will Miller x Single Mom!reader
Summary: You and Will hit it off immediately, but being a single mom but a past, you didn't think that he'd be interested in you. You were wrong, and Will asks you on the sweetest date you could imagine.
A/N: Will Miller brain rot is so real rn. Titled after the Brad Paisley song, bc it's what inspired this fic.
Warnings: Referenced past abuse, referenced past child abuse
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Many guys ran for the hills at the idea of a woman with a kid. Some only wanted you for sex, insisting you get a babysitter or god forbid leave your son at home, insisting “it’s only for an hour” even though he was four. Some gave it a shot, only to get angry when they realized Jonah came first. It’s not that you didn’t try to make time for dates, but you had a young child, and you wanted to make the best of his childhood. They didn’t get why you were busy working on letters and numbers with him, asking “isn’t that what his preschool is for?” or why you spent time trying to plan and cook nutritious food on a budget, or why you wouldn't just drop him off with your sister to fuck or why they couldn't come over when he was napping.
So, you simply gave up dating, figuring the right guy would come along at some point, when the time better.
And the right guy did.
You were lucky enough to land a job as a receptionist at a physical therapy office, your friend’s husband, Frankie being kind enough to send the job your way when his friend said they were hiring. You were waitressing at this point and although you were getting by, it was just barely, living in a studio apartment with you and Jonah (another reason dating didn’t work) was hard. This job would offer not only financial security, but a better schedule, with Jonah at the free preschool during most of the day so this meant paying for only two or three hours at daycare after. The handsome physical therapist was a perk too.
Will Miller was one of four physical therapists in the office, but by far your favorite. He always said hello and goodbye to you every single morning and evening, and even when you first started he was making easy chit chat. The small talk turned into full conversations, Will often being found leaning over your counter, strong arms blunging out of the sleeves of his black t-shirt as you tried not to stare. It wasn’t that hard; his blue eyes were compelling enough to keep your interest. You familiarized yourself with the features of his face while he talked, and one of the other workers comments how they'd never seen Will so talkative. When you asked what they meant, they said that Will was always polite, nice but never very open. She didn’t even know he had a brother until she heard him mention Ben to you, and she’d known Will a year. It made you happy to know he felt comfortable with you like that. It took you an embarrassingly long amount of time to figure out that he was the friend Frankie knew, the one that had mentioned the job opening, but once you did, you grew closer sharing stories of Frankie and Jessica drunk.
He also let you talk about your son, which was exciting. People don’t really care a lot about a kid that isn’t their family besides a few pictures, but you mentioned a cute video, and Will actually asked to see it, endearing you to him more and more. Still, you didn’t get your hopes up. Your last relationship, Jonah’s father, messed you up pretty bad, and you were certain someone like Will wouldn’t want someone like you. Will was successful, put together, tall, handsome and charming with a very well paying job. Why would he want to take a single mom living in a shitty studio apartment with a ton of baggage? He could get any woman he wanted, not some woman he probably thought just wanted him for his money.
When he approached you that Friday as you were packing up for the weekend, he seemed oddly stiff, not leaning casually over your counter like the Jim to your Pam. Instead he stood awkwardly, hands clasped behind his back as if he was reverting back to his military days and you were his drill sargent.
 He greeted you by name, and promptly began stuttering, the composed, cool headed man you knew seemed long gone. “I was, um, well I was wondering if maybe you were doing anything this weekend? If you-you wanted to do something with me, maybe? I understand if you’re busy, it’s completely okay theres no pressure or anything, it won't have any effect on your working relationship but if you wanted too-”
“Will?”
“Hm?” His pail English skin turned pink.
“Are you asking me on a date?” 
The blush grew, but he nodded. “Yeah, if you’d like that, of course. No pressure at all, we can continue being friends either way.” The way he repeated ‘no pressure’ made your heart warm.
You smiled at him, equally nervous. The idea of going on a date for the first time in a year was nerve wracking, there was a solid chance of getting your heart broken… but he was so fucking handsome, how could you say no? “Yeah, yeah that would be great.” You laugh nervously. “I’m open all weekend, I just gotta see when I can get a babysitter.”
“Actually, I was thinking, and we don’t have to, it’s completely up to you-”
He’s so cute when he’s nervous, isn’t he? “Yes, Will?” You encourage him on.
“I thought maybe Jonah could come with us? I know maybe you don’t want to bring a strange man you don’t know around your son, but if you wanted to, I’d like to take Jonah to Chuck E. Cheese?”
You were stunned. No man has ever cared to meet Jonah, let alone spend time with him like that. 
“You want to go to Chuck E. Cheese for a first date?” You ask softly.
He seemed to get the wrong idea, and began to backtrack. “Right, not very romantic is it, sorry, I’d love to take you somewhere nice, I just thought it would be easier and I’d want to get to know Jonah because he’s a part of you-”
“I’d love that” You smile up at him. “Are you sure? It’s kinda an expensive first date?” You didn’t want him to invest a bunch of money on a date when you already knew you wouldn’t be sleeping together that day.
Will seemed to relax, smiling at the idea of the date. He shook his head. “I want to.  Besides, it’ll be fun. I haven't played ski ball in years, when else do I get a chance to be a kid?”
You could not wait to see what the 6’2 giant of a man looked like pretending to be a kid.
Will offered to pick you up but said if you prefer to meet there, that was okay too. Normally, you’d meet there, you didn’t like random men knowing your address, but Will… Will was different. The way Will was cognizant of your comfort made you just trust him. You still would be careful, of course, after what happened with Jonah’s dad you were protective of your precious preschooler. Jonah was ecstatic when you picked him up and told him you’d be going to Chuck E. Cheese for dinner. You explained he’d be meeting a friend of moms, keeping it vague, but it seemed very much uninterested in that aspect as the idea of the arcade filled his adorable little head. You kept it simple, a nice romper that would be acceptable to play in but looked cute on you, at least you thought so. You didn’t give your apartment number, for safety reasons but also you were a bit embarrassed at your small studio. You hoped soon to get a one bedroom with this nice new job, but wanted to have a good savings in case of emergencies. Jonah was small enough now that it was okay, it was working, but you wanted him to have some space of his own in a few years. Still, you did the best you could.
Will was waiting outside the apartment complex door, his eyes lighting up when he saw you.
“Hi. You look great.” He said with a genuine smile that you returned. Will wore a blue shirt and black pants, fitting the casual but pleasant outfit you had gone for, the blue bringing out his eyes. You were disappointed he didn't greet you with a kiss on the cheek or a hug, but he seemed nervous, so you didn’t think much of it at first. Will bent down, crouching to get to Jonah’s level. “Hey little guy, you must be Jonah.”
“Yeah, I’m this many” He held up four fingers. 
You held up all five “Honey, you’re this many”
“Oh” he giggled. “Yeah” He was embarrassed to have gotten his age wrong. “Sowwy”
You turn to Will, about to explain that Jonah just had a birthday, but Will was way ahead of you. 
“That’s okay, you had a birthday week, right? Mine was last month too and I still forget.”
Not only was he good with Jonah, but he even remembered his birthday. You began to let yourself get more and more attached to William Miller.
It was fun to see Will let loose. Not that he was tightly wound at work by any means, but he was professional. This was a side of him you could easily fall in love with.
You had tried to pay for the tokens for the arcade games, insisting that Will could pay for the food like he would for a normal date, and you’d cover the part for your son, but he wouldn’t let you. It wasn’t in a ‘I have more money than you’ way, but in a way that was just the kindness of his big, soft heart. And he got along great with Jonah, that was clear, and something very important to you. He asked you before picking Jonah up and putting him on a ride when Jonah begged him for help, gave him high fives and encouraged him when he didn’t get something on a game. He was everything you could ask for. He must've been a good big brother, you just knew it.
You and him were already past the small talk point, so there was no ‘tell me about yourself’, but conversation flowed easily, with you laughing and giggling along to his stories of his brother, remarking that Jonah reminded him a lot of when Ben was little. Still, he didn’t kiss you, was hesitant to touch you, and you began to worry that maybe he didn’t enjoy your company outside of work as much as maybe he thought he would. Still, it was a fun evening and you loved spending time with Will.
When the pizza came, Will noticed they forgot to bring the breadsticks. “I’ll go grab them, be right back.”
“Thank you” You smiled at him, and pulled out the wipes for Jonah’s hands and cleaned him off front he germs before turning to the table to plate up pizza for everyone. 
When you turn back, Jonah was gone. You tried not to panic. “Jonah?” You couldn’t see him anywhere. “Jonah!” Now you’re shouting, and in a flash Will is by your side, settling the garlic bread down. 
You don’t even have to explain what happened when he has a plan. “I’ll check the front, he can’t leave without one of us so he’s in here. I’ll talk to the employees, you just start searching, he’ll come to your voice easier than mine.”
You’re tearing up, looking around for your baby, trying too hard not to go into a pancik. “I swear, I turned around for just a second, and, and, and he-he”
Will grabbed you shoulders, forcing you to look up at him. He was calm, assured, clear headed in an emergency and that transferred to you. “I know, it’s gonna be okay, just go look for him and I’ll start getting a parameter.” Military man indeed. 
You nod, trusting Will to make things right, help you find him. You, Will and Jonah had numbers stamped onto your hand from the employee at the front, so you knew he couldn’t leave without you or Will, but you didn’t want him alone with all these strange people. You begin looking calling out to him and you could see Will talking to and directing the employees and a few concerned parents who volunteered to help, instructing them to clear different areas and guard them, slowly narrowing down a ‘parameter’ just as he said while you looked for him.
You were trying to keep calm, but 1000 worst case scenarios ran through your head. You needed to be strong for him.
You hear your name called from the indoor play structure and you look up to see Will and Jonah in a clear plastic bubble waving to you. Jonah was safe, Will found him, even going up in a play structure you knew he could barely fit in to do it. You began to cry, so fucking relieved to see your baby, and informed the worker that everything was okay. Will slid down the large slide (how he didn’t get struck, you didn’t know. The man was broad as hell.) and when he and your son popped out the other end, Jonah was apparently none the wiser of how much stress he put you through. You tearfully talk to him about not wondering off, then take him back to get food. The rest of the evening went wonderfully, and you didn’t take your eyes off Jonah the rest of the night. 
You watch Jonah dance and sing with the Chucky mascot when it came out, the ugly thing handing out tickets to the kids. You turn to Will. "Ever played 5 Nights at Freddy's?"
The giant of a man burst into boisterous laughing, the sound ringing out and filling your heart with so much joy. "I didn't wanna be the one to say it!" He heaves over from laughing so hard. "freaking fuck'n rat, used to scare the shit outta my brother as a child, I tried to fight it once because it made Ben cry"
You couldn't imagine the polite, composed man fighting a giant rat, but given how he talked about his brother, you knew he was defensive. "Oh? And what happened?"
"Turns out Chuck will put you on your ass when you kick him in the crotch."
When Will pulled into the parking lot, Jonah was fast sleep in his booster seat and you unbuckle him, turning to Will. It was the end of the date, and you knew what he might be expecting. “Listen, I had a wonderful time, and I’d like to go out again, but I can’t… I can’t exactly invite you to stay over.”
Will was quick to assure you he had no expectations, but you continue to clarify; you didn't want him to think you didn't want him. “It’s embarrassing, but we live in a studio apartment right now.”
“A studio isn’t embarrassing, trust me, I’ve slept in some interesting places and I don’t expect anything on the first date. And I especially wouldn’t expect a mom to invite me to stay the night where her kid lives this early on.”
You, however, weren’t ready for the evening to end. It was still early. “Listen, Jonah is out cold” After running around all day and eating a ton of pizza, he was in a food coma. “I have a balcony. I would love it if you came up and had a drink.”
Will lit up, teeth showing just a bit as he smiled. “I’d love to, if you’re comfortable.”
Will helped hold Jonah while you attempted to brush his little teeth and politely excused himself to the balcony while you changed him into his pj’s. Will didn’t seem put off at all by the Baby Yoda toddler bed between your twin mattress and the small kitchen table.
When you came outside, Will was sitting on one of the cheap lawn chairs. You brought out a throw blanket and two mugs of hot chocolate with just a splash of Bailey’s Irish Cream and pulled the second lawn chair up next to him. Gathered under one blanket, you were thrilled to spend some alone time. You adored your son, and you adored how Will wanted to all be together, but it was nice to be with Will away from work, just you and him. 
“Can I hold your hand?” Will asks sweetly, his soft, bearded face welcoming you in. 
Like a silly teenager, you blush at the innocence. “Yeah” He takes your hand and you feel so connected, so safe, so secure in his firm but comforting grip. “I was wondering when you’d make a move.” You gently tease, and you see Will blush as he smiles and glances away. “For the record, I wanted to make a move earlier, but I didn’t know what was appropriate with Jonah around. Didn’t wanna confuse him or noth’n.”
The way he always thought about you and Jonah first… it never failed to make your heart sore.
You rest your head on Will’s shoulder, and he wrapped an arm around you, making you feel more warm than the blanket ever could.
“Thank you for today, William.” You whisper.
“I had a great time, honey. I hope I can take you out again sometime.”
“I’d love that.” You look up at him, the moonlight illuminating his skin oh-so beautifully. “And thank you for going into action so fast when Jonah was missing.”
“Of course. Jonah is important to you, so he’s important to me. Plus, any kid that goes missing needs immediate action.”
That’s what you loved about Will. He didn’t just do it because it was Jonah, you know damn well he’d do the same for a stranger’s kid if needed. 
“How come you wanted to go out with Jonah too? I’ve never had a guy do that after a few dates, nonetheless the first one.”
He held you closer. “Well, I don’t wanna be presumptuous, but I don’t date casually, and it seems you don’t either… if we are gonna be together long term or even…” he trailed off, but you knew what he was about to say. “Well, I’d wanna be a family. Not that I’m tryna replace his dad!” Will quickly adds.
“Jonah’s dad isn't allowed near him.” You say. When Will doesn’t respond, merely nods, you knew he was keeping the conversation to talk more if you wanted to, so you continued. “He was an asshole. Roughed me up a bit.” A bit was putting nicely, but it was a bit early for pouring your heart out.
You could feel his grip tighten ever so slightly on your shoulder as he took a deep breath. “I’m sorry”
“It’s okay” You said softly. It’d been a few years since you’d left. “I put up with a lot, but when he hit Jonah, that was it. I left right after that, spent a few months in a shelter, now we're here.”
“Bastard.” He mumbled under his breath, and you knew his anger for you and your boy was genuine. 
“I have a restraining order against him, so he’s not in the picture. I wish Jonah had his dad, but I won’t let him get hurt again.”
“I know, you’re a good mom.” Will assures you, “He’s a happy kid.”
You can’t help but smile at that. “I wish I could give him more… but I’m trying.”
“Hey now” his voice was soft and comforting, his hand gently, so gently guiding you to look at him. “He’s happy, he’s got food, a bed, lots of toys and I saw the worksheets you got laid out, I know you’re working hard on his learn’n. He’s a good kid, says please and thank you, you've given him a good life, princess.” 
“Thank you, Will. I appreciate that. Are you doing anything Sunday morning? I’d love to cook you lunch.” 
When Will left that evening, he waited at your doorway, holding both hands, looking nervous again. “I’d like to kiss you, if that’s okay.”
They he always asked you, leaving so much room to say no. When he asked you on the date in the first place he was adamant about making sure you felt no obligation even though he was technically your superior, to something as innocent and pure as hold your hand… you knew he was different from Jonah’s dad, he was so, so much better. Was it possible to fall in love this fast?
Still holding his hand, as he nervously looked down at you awaiting an answer, you went up on you tippy toes, planting a loving, chaste kiss on his pink lips. He kissed you back, lips moving against yours before he pulled away. “I’ll see you both Sunday?” 
Both.
“Yeah, Sunday” You hugged him goodbye, resting your head on Will’s firm, strong chest. You didn’t want him to leave, but you knew now was not the time for him to stay over. You’d move slowly, you and Will, going at a pace comfortable for both of you until you were ready. Something felt right, so damn right about him.
Yeah, you’d take things slowly, but something in your gut told you… Will would be a part of your little family.
********************
This got me pretty good ngl ;-; my baby fever is so high these days lolololol
If you'd like to see a part two, lmk! I'm happy to write more drabbles with this. Not like, a series bc I don't have a full story plan but a few one shots.
I love Will so much and it makes me sad he doesn't get much attention in this fandom :(
(Dolli that princess was especially for you. I feel like Will is a 'princess' kinda man, but wouldn't use it right away. but when he felt comfortable enough....)
also funfact i usd to work at chuck e. cheese and yes i was the giant rat. Yes I have gotten tackled to the floor and yes i did want to punt some kids but didnt. flipped off some teenagers though.
tagging a few people who might be interested/expressed interest in the discord server.
@missdictatorme @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @campingwiththecharmings @ahookedheroespureheart @jake-g-lockley @littlenosoul @welcometostayingawake @miraclesabound
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mllemaenad · 3 months
Text
The Magnus Protocol: Taking Notes
Okay, well, it sounds very much as though "Freddy" is tattling on Sam. Might not be, of course: once you've assigned a personality to something you head straight down the path of attributing meaning and motive to all its actions. And in the case of Freddy, there might be no intelligence behind it, one intelligence with many voices behind it, or many intelligences with potentially competing motives behind it. Depending on which of those it is, you get a different picture of why it does what it does.
It alerts Alice that Sam has been poking around "The Magnus Protocol". It shouldn't have alerted Alice; it sounds as though Colin was the intended recipient, although it would make sense for it to go to Lena as well. It suggests that it did not want official action taken against him for looking – whatever that might mean – but that it did want someone to know what he was doing.
It's fairly easy to predict that Alice, upon receiving such an alert, will tell Sam to knock it off but not actually take any action against him. The recording Gwen hears at the end of the episode suggests (although does not confirm) that things can in fact go very, very wrong in this job – so this may constitute a protective gesture. On the other hand, if the greatest risk were to just be getting fired, well then that might be for the best.
It's a weird alert, though.
Alice I just received a security notification. Sam About me? Alice Someone was trying to access restricted files. And my money is on you. – The Magnus Protocol: Taking Notes
What do you mean, "someone" is trying to access restricted files? No user ID? Or username? Or even a device ID? What the hell sort of security alert is that? If you were a manager, and you received that, you'd have to go on a witch hunt. Depending on how you look at it, it's either a terrible alert tailored to produce a stressful working experience ... or a whisper that might be meaningful to Alice, and no one else.
The arrival of the third voice, "Augustus" is interesting because he is a complete unknown. To be clear, I'm aware that the prevailing theory is that this is Jonah Magnus. I'm not especially here to dispute that; not at the moment. The man's first name starts with a "J", which fits nicely with ".jmj error" and, well, the name Magnus is right there in the title, which suggests it's at least to some degree relevant. It's as good a theory as any, and while you can absolutely throw out other possible names there's not enough detail yet to prove anything.
But what is interesting is the implication if that is Jonah Magnus. If the voices originated in this world then they might be anybody, of course. No way to tell. But if they came from another world, it suggests that something more than just voices came through. Because, to my knowledge, that voice was never recorded.
It makes sense that you'd hear John's voice leaking between worlds – he's on virtually all the tapes. It makes reasonable sense that you'd hear Martin's: he was on quite a lot. You might also expect "Elias Bouchard", or Basira or Tim or even Gertrude – because if it's just voices then whether they're alive or dead or even confirmed still hanging about in another dimension shouldn't matter. But if it is Magnus, then something came through that wasn't recorded: the voice of an earlier body, or even his original one. Some internal sense of "this is how I sound" that differs from anything recorded on the tapes.
And if it isn't him? Well, all of the above still applies, with the added question of "Who is it, then?"
If it is him – and I will speak as such for now because there's not yet enough thread to follow if it isn't – then his story choice is interesting.
Alice Dear grandpa Augustus does always tell such lovely stories. – The Magnus Protocol: Taking Notes
Alice implies that Augustus's stories are somehow worse than Norris's and Chester's – she didn't remark on any of theirs in quite the same way, except to call Norris's first one "tame". I don't know what metric she's using: they all seem pretty ghoulish. But this story does address a different perspective.
It's a tale of resentment and entitlement. Of someone who was special, but not quite special enough for his own liking – and who fed his soul to something monstrous to increase his own standing. His father seems to have a seat in the House of Lords, and all the wealth and standing that would accompany that position. The letter writer, however, is a bastard: an acknowledged bastard, apparently, whose father has provided for him, but nevertheless a bastard set apart from the legitimate children of the household.
He's also very concerned that people aren't appreciating his talents.
Augustus/Violinist My violin tutor, one Oliver Bardwell by name, nursed a conviction that this honor was purely the fruit of his own skills as an instructor, rather than a product of my talent and endeavor. ... My course was set for Mannheim, a destination where I felt a youthful certainty that my brilliance would at last be acknowledged. – The Magnus Protocol: Taking Notes
This fits very well with Jonah Magnus, who very much played second fiddle, so to speak, in the story that had his name on it. On a meta level: he was the villain of the piece, the one who pretty well had to fall and fail in order for the narrative to reach its conclusion. But even in-universe it's highlighted that he's just ... not that special:
Archivist Right. When I said that I would ‘replace’ Jonah in there, that’s not– That place, the centre of The Eye, i-it’s… It wasn’t made for him. That’s why he’s like that, it’s too much, it’s overwhelmed him, his whole being, just destroyed. Martin Oh yeah? But let me guess, it was made for you? Archivist Yes. – The Magnus Archives: Parting
It's got to be galling: Magnus built an institute and served his god for literal centuries, and eventually remade the world under its power. But does the Eye want him? No, no it does not. It wants the grumpy archivist who does not want to be here at all, and who is in fact actively plotting to kill it. Jonah Magnus is the Eye's acknowledged, but displaced, bastard son.
It's also implied that a sense of ... hm ... aristocratic entitlement, let's say, played a part in the selection of his hosts:
Archivist Elias’ stomach tightened at the memory, the fierce judgement in his father’s eyes. Even laid out in a casket, it was as if he had looked at Elias with disdain. What should he say? That he had no idea why he wanted this job? That he was all alone in the world, no friends, no family, nothing but the deep certainty that he deserved better. That he was destined to be important. That it was in his blood. – The Magnus Archives: A Stern Look
And it is hard not to notice, at this point, that Augustus picked Gwen to hear this tale.
The violinist is "gifted" an instrument by a dubious merchant type reminiscent of Mikaele Salesa (the man was right – the peddler of magical artefacts is indeed a folktale staple), and it did make him a bit more special ... but never, ever quite special enough:
Augustus/Violinist And yet, while admiration rained down upon me, never was I elevated beyond the confines of my origins. The rarefied world of my noble patrons was closed to me. Modest riches adorned me, some small fame clung to my name, but never was I truly allowed to escape the position of my birth. – The Magnus Protocol: Taking Notes
It is also very much the story of a man who learned how to hurt other people for his own gain:
Augustus/Violinist It was not simple philanthropy that led to my taking on positions of tutelage in those bustling cities where I plied my trade, providing a musical education to the poor and the easily forgotten, asking nothing in return. Nothing except the occasional student who would not be missed. – The Magnus Protocol: Taking Notes
That's almost exactly how Magnus operated: employing people who would not be missed and then using them up to serve his own ends. Like Magnus, the violinist feeds people to his malevolent god.
And, not least, there are the sinister implications of the letter itself. The recipient is a "nephew", meaning he is almost certainly the child of one of the violinist's legitimate half-siblings: people he dismisses as "useless". He was not close with the nephew, so his inheritance may be something of a surprise.
Which leads to this:
Augustus/Violinist There has been a great deal of rain here this last fortnight, which has been strangely pleasing to my maudlin mood, and has brought with it some nostalgia for that dreary summer you took residence with me. I flatter myself to think that I might have imprinted upon you some part of myself in that time together, and perhaps in this way I seek to keep hold of my prized violin still. – The Magnus Protocol: Taking Notes
Right. So, yeah, the kid is definitely screwed. For all we know, the violinist lives still.
If Norris's stories are of loss and regret, and Chester's could be called a warning, Augustus's is both an enticement and a trap.
Go on. Play the cursed violin. Feed it blood. What could possibly go wrong?
But you have to wonder, then: why would Magnus tell a story that so neatly reflects what an awful person he was?
We also establish, outside the main story, that Gwen is definitely the kind of person to open weird attachments in her work email. When the OIAR gets hit with a ransomware attack, we'll all know who to blame.
It's hard to state anything definitive about what she heard. I mean – yes, it sounds bad, but, well, Gertrude Robinson once dismembered a man and threw him down a cursed pit. I'm not going to sit here and try to claim Gertrude was nice, but she was very much on the side of the world not ending. What any of this means all hinges on who the guy Lena was talking to was.
And, of course, this one is littered with world-building notes to put aside for later: "Starkwall", "The San Pedro Square Massacre", "The Protocol". Little you can do with any of them immediately.
But ... just for a thought exercise, say it is Jonah Magnus talking.
A protocol can be a lot of things. It may be rules to be followed in a formal occasion. It may be instructions in the event of an emergency. And there are also network protocols, which are about the transfer of information. I suspect in this case it has a double meaning, as Archives did. So it is something practical ... and also something else.
The word is then uttered for the first time in the episode where Magnus first speaks. It is immediately followed by a tale in which a man transfers an instrument – and I think more importantly the music that instrument produced – to someone new, and in doing so hopes to transfer some or all of himself.
The thing is. I'm not going to call Magnus's master plan "bloody stupid" but ... well, let's just say it had some obvious holes. I mean, really. He spent literal years specifically torturing this one guy, then used him very much against his will to end the world, and then just ... let him wander around, being annoyed about that. Obviously John had some moral qualms about the whole apocalypse situation, but even had he not – pretty well anybody would probably put "ruin Jonah's day" quite near the top of their to do list, under the circumstances.
It would hardly take a genius to foresee some retaliation. And self preservation is Magnus's whole deal. It's the reason he gives for destroying the world:
Archivist/Jonah Magnus I began to worry that if one of them successfully attempted their ritual, then I would be as much a victim as any, trapped in the nightmare landscape of a twisted world. At first, I attempted prevention, but the cause seemed hopeless. The only way to ensure I did not suffer the tribulations of what I believed to be an inevitable transformation was to bring it about myself. So what began as an experiment soon became a race. Beyond that, I was getting older, and mortality began to weigh more heavily on my mind. How much in this world is done because we fear death, the last and greatest terror? – The Magnus Archives: The Eye Opens
The apocalypse is just him getting everyone else before they could get him. And I have wondered, a bit, about Magnus's attitude in Last Words:
Archivist It’s over. Jonah/Elias Is it? [sigh] Yes. Yes, I suppose it must be. [TIRED EXHALATION] Where’s Martin? I rather thought he’d be the one to do the deed. … [METALLIC CLINK] Ah, I see. Going it alone, are we? Probably for the best. Empathy only holds you back in the end. Archivist You’ve failed. Jonah/Elias Have I? Archivist Immortality. It’s impossible. Even without me, nothing escapes entropy. Not forever. Not even fear. Jonah/Elias Yes… Pity. I suppose I always knew that, deep down. But it was wonderful while it lasted. I’ve seen more than I could have lived in a thousand lifetimes, and every moment was so – – The Magnus Archives: Last Words
That's all very odd, really. He thought Martin would kill him? In fact, he once bet quite heavily that Martin would not kill him. Of course, he hadn't ruined the whole world at that point, which is a thing that might well adjust a man's attitude to murder. So he thought Martin would come here, and kill him?
He was not especially surprised to see John standing over him with a knife. He seemed mostly bemused at the idea that he had failed, although he did agree that this thing, in which he bathed in the misery of others, was indeed over. There was some begging and screaming, of course, but he put up very little resistance – even though this was a straightforward physical assault. None of John's overwhelming psychic powers here, just a man who never showed much inclination toward violence taking his very first stab, so to speak, at knifing someone to death.
It seems peculiar, that a man who would do literally anything to stay alive – who betrayed his friends, who stole the lives of others, who doomed the whole world – would not have a plan in place to escape the very obvious enemy who was almost certainly going to come after him.
Unless, of course, he did have a plan. And we're listening to it.
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avengerscompound · 3 days
Text
The Interview - Chapter 20
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The Interview - A Captain America Fanfic
Masterlist PREVIOUS //
Rating:  E
Warnings: None
Pairing: Steve Rogers x OFC Melody Danes
Word Count: 1933
Summary:  Melody Danes gets the break of a lifetime when as a lowly intern, she’s assigned to write a profile piece on Captain America.  Steve Rogers is a hard man not to fall for and as she and Melody get closer and Melody’s career takes off, jealousy leads to sabotage, and the potential to bring her whole world crashing down.
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Chapter 20
The two-block walk from where Melody had met Steve for lunch was a nightmare.  Most of the press stopped following after a couple of blocks but as the Daily Bugle paparazzi were going to the same place as she was, they stuck with them the whole time.  Steve tried to shield her body from the cameras to try and make it so that none of the photos would be worth very much money, and to reduce the risk of people recognizing her.  Melody knew that it was too late to protect her identity.  People had already been speculating, and besides, the person taking their photo as she reached the Daily Bugle was named Phil Sheldon.  If she knew him, he knew her.
They reached the entrance to the building.  Melody wanted so badly to bury her face in Steve’s chest and hide there, but she wasn’t willing to even risk a kiss goodbye with Phil still taking photos of them.  She turned and looked up at Steve.  “Can you just fuck off, Phil?” she said.
“Just doing my job, Mel,” he said. “You know how it is?”
“Yeah, well, don’t forget what my job is,” she said.
“Oh yeah, like Jameson will let you do anything that makes the Bugle look like it lacks scruples,” he said.
Steve shook his head.  “Don’t worry about it, sweetheart,” he said.  “I’ll call you when I get back to work.”
“Okay,” she said, giving him a nod.  He gently squeezed her hand before she went inside.
She went straight up to Jameson’s office.  She was fuming about the intrusion on her privacy by her workplace.  She even considered if it counted as workplace harassment and if she could sue over it.
She knocked on the door to Jameson’s office but didn’t wait for him to call her in.  He looked up from his computer but she was ranting before he had a chance to say a single word.  “How could you think it was okay to have photographers stalking me on my lunch?” she snapped.  “You know this is harassment?  I work here!  It’s bad enough that you think it’s okay to harass other people, but this is my job!  Do you know how absolutely toxic it is for me to have to come in here and work with the people stalking me!?  I could sue!”
“Woah, woah, woah!” Jameson said, getting up from his desk. “Let’s not go throwing the ‘s’ word around.  You know that this is what we do here.  And Captain America’s love life is going to sell papers.  Besides, you told us where you were going to be.”
“I absolutely did not!” she argued.  “Why the hell would I do that?  Why would I betray Steve like that?” 
“I don’t know,” he said, throwing his hands up over his head. “You sent it to all the tabloids.  I was a little miffed you weren’t giving me the exclusive, to be honest.  I assumed you wanted to get yourself a little fame and recognition.”
“Over my relationship?” she groaned. “Jonah?  Really?”
“How was I supposed to know?” he said, spinning his computer screen around and opening the email.  “Maybe you were having relationship troubles.”
She looked over the screen.  The email did have her return address, but it lacked her official DB! signature.  Someone had cloned her email address.  It was easy enough to do.  That didn’t explain how they knew where and when she was having lunch with Steve though.  They didn’t have a regular lunch date time, nor did they just go to the same few venues over and over again and she hadn’t written down where and when she was having lunch today.”
She scowled and pulled out her phone.  “Tell me the truth, Jonah.  Do you have someone spying on me?”
“I may be lacking in scruples, Danes, but I don’t stoop that low,” he said.
“So drop the story then,” she said. 
“No, no,” he said. “I can’t do that.  And what’s the point anyway?  It’ll be all over TMZ in an hour.” 
She sighed.  He was right.  It was out now and there wasn’t a hell of a lot she could do about it, except ride the wave.  She didn’t expect Steve’s fans to take it very well, but it was something she had been mentally preparing for for months.
“Fine,” she said. “You can run it, but I expect my workplace to be safe for me, Jonah.  I can’t come here just expecting to have to watch my back because you want to report on my boyfriend.  He and the other Avengers have been doing me a lot of favors to get your website up and profitable.  You could at least show them some respect in return for that generosity.”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Jameson said, waving his hand.  “I’m not going to smother a story just because someone did me a favor.  Where’s the ethics in that?”
“Oh so now you’re worried about ethics?” she snarked.  “Look, there’s a difference between taking our photo out because you happen to find us and stalking me to where we’re going.  I’m just asking that you respect the difference.”
Jameson huffed and sat back down in his chair.  “Fine.  No stalking.  But it wouldn’t hurt you to occasionally mention him in your pieces.”  She went to argue with him but he held up his hand.  “Nothing big.  Just the kind of stuff you already do in your column from time to time.  You know what I mean?  Talking about a coffee shop you tried with your boyfriend.  Or how nice it is to wake up with someone else there.  You don’t have to name him.  And you don’t have to talk about your sex lives.  Just teasers.  The people will eat it up.  If we get those exclusives, we won’t need the photos of you both together.  In fact, anytime someone else takes photos of you both together, it’ll just sell your work more.”
She sighed.  It sounded so sordid and dirty.  But the truth was, she had been writing about her life in the columns, and Steve had been slipping into those.  She didn’t name him, just the same as she never named anyone in those columns.  Anyone who knew she was dating Steve could go back and infer it was him she’d been talking about.  She also knew Steve knew she did it.  He read the columns daily and would talk to her about them.  It was natural to write it, and she wasn’t doing it to cash in on her relationship.
Now that it was out she was dating Steve, and Jameson was asking her to write about it, it felt dirty and exploitative.  She didn’t want to take advantage of Steve that way.  She didn’t want her relationship with him to be picked over by the public.
“I’ll think about it,” she said.
“Well, if that’s it,” Jameson said, waving her toward the door.  “We have papers to sell.” 
“I don’t work for the paper, Jonah,” she said as she headed out the door.
“Clicks, magazines.  Do your job,” he yelled after her.
She headed back to her office, still fairly agitated but no longer fuming.  She didn’t know what she was going to do about her column, and she didn’t like how she felt about her job in general.  Someone was spying on her and she had to go to work with the same people who were invading her personal space.
The dread she felt about what was going to happen to her social media when those photos came out, only compounded the feelings.  She didn’t think they’d have gotten wind of it yet.  As quickly as TMZ could move, she still didn’t think the photos would be up yet.  But she couldn’t help but pick up her phone to see if anyone had started to tweet her.
The phone rang in her hand and Steve’s photo showed up on her screen.  She leaned back in her chair and hit connect, putting her earbuds in.  “Hey, you,” she said.  “Are you okay?”
“Of course, honey,” he said.  “I wanted to check in on you.  I’ve been dealing with this since World War II.  You haven’t, and the only reason you’re dealing with it now, is because of me.”
Melody couldn’t help but laugh at that.  “See I was going to say that it was my fault they were there.”
“Oh are we playing that game are we?” Steve teased. “Go on, tell me how you think it’s your fault.”
“I’m serious, Steve!” she squealed.
“I’m sure you are, sweetheart,” he chuckled.  “Go on, tell me what you’re thinking, considering I’m the famous one.”
She bit back laughter.  It was good to know this whole situation hadn’t upset him, and that he was so worried about her own well-being.  “Steve!” she yelped.  “Listen okay?”
“I’m listening,” he laughed.
“So I went up to see Jameson when I got back here.  I was really pissed that he’d sent photographers out to follow us back to the office.  He said I’d sent him an email to tell him and the rest of the press I was going to be there,” she explained.
“Why would you do that?” Steve asked.
“I didn’t do that,” she said.  “But he had an email from my address.  You can fake return addresses.  But I don’t know how anyone would have known where we were even going. It’s not like I wrote it down anywhere and we don’t just go back to the same restaurant all the time.  I think someone overheard the phone call.  Which makes me feel really safe here at work.  And now Jameson wants me to talk about you more in my column.  I don’t know what to do, Steve.  We just moved into a new apartment.  We’re on a lease.  I can’t afford to quit my job.  And Bobbi works here too!  What if they do it to her as well.”
“Hey, hey, hey,” Steve said quickly.  “If someone is listening in to your conversations, then they can hear you right now.”
“Right.  Right,” she said.  “Of course, they could be.”  This was where they were now.  She couldn’t trust her job or anyone around her.  She wanted to believe that the staff she’d selected were all trustworthy, but now she couldn’t be sure.
“Can you come here after work?” Steve asked.  “I’d like to get Tony to check your phone for bugs.”
“Yeah, of course,” she said.  “I’ll come straight over.”
“I’ll get Bucky to invite Bobbi around too,” he said.  “We can talk this out.  All of it.  What you want to do with your job.  About how we keep our private lives private.  The column.  All of it.  Okay?”
“Yeah,” she said.  “Okay.  Thank you, Steve.”
“I love you, sweetheart,” Steve said.  “This isn’t your fault.  Someone is using you to get to me.  We just have to work out how to stop them.”
“Okay,” she said, letting out a deep breath.  She didn’t know what she’d done to deserve this man.  “I love you too.  I’ll see you tonight.”
She disconnected the call and sat back in her chair, staring at the phone which she was now fairly sure had betrayed her trust.  “Traitor,” she mumbled, tossing it onto her desk.  Closing her eyes she took a deep breath.  It was a lot to deal with but she knew Steve trusted her.  For now, that was the main thing.  She’d build everything else off that trust and together they’d figure this out.
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// NEXT
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writing-fanics · 10 months
Text
• movie night •
Jonah Hauer-King x Reader
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Ava had fallen asleep her body snuggled up against Jonah. Jonah and you, looked down at her in awe at how adorable she looks fast asleep. Her mouth opened letting out tiny snores and a wet spot on Jonah’s shirt from her drooling.
“She’s so cute.” He said, and you nodded looking down at her. Drool streamed down the side of her mouth, causing a wet spot to appear on Jonah’s shirt. Her mouth was open slightly revealing a missing tooth that was already, underneath her pillow.
She groaned slightly, as Jonah moved causing him to stop. Looking down at the small human sleeping on his lap. When suddenly… toot.
“She got that from you.” You said, looking at Jonah and he pursed his lips and looked away. You look towards the television pausing the movie, and looked back at your sleeping daughter.
“Our little Ava.” You cooed quietly, leaning your head against Jonah’s shoulder. He smiled, warmly at the small child on his lap. Despite not being her biological father he loved Ava as if she were his own.
Even, stood up for her when she didn’t want to go with her biological father when he appeared out of nowhere. He was calm at first but eventually grew angrier, as Ava’s biological father wanted his daughter to come with him but she didn’t. Wanting to spend time with Jonah, at the toy shop they were at…
“She’s had a busy day.” You said, gently running your fingers through his hair and he kissed the side of your forehead.
“Thank you, for sticking up for her he’s no father. Unlike you. You’ve been there more than he’s ever been and I’m happy you came into our lives.” You said, and he looked at you smiling before leaning in to kiss you.
Causing you to moan slightly into his mouth, you pulled back and smiled giving him a wink.
He grinned, gently picking Ava up and carrying her into her bedroom. Placing her gently onto her bed and placing the stuff animal in her arms.
He reached into his pocket, pulling out his wallet. Taking the tooth, and slid some money underneath her pillow. Before kissing her on the forehead saying goodnight. Ava opened her eyes, and quickly wrapped her arms around him he hugged back.
“Night night daddy.” She said, and he looked at her, “Night night my little Ava.” He said, tucking her in bed again watching as she closed her eyes.
After, leaving the room he rejoined you back in the living room. Let’s just say you two didn’t make it to the bedroom.
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omnidemidisaster · 2 years
Text
Imagines
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I'm trying somethin new that I wanna do more in the future soo
What if you gave the boys flowers?
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Cesar Torres
Roses are his personal favorite ( Original I know )
He loves them so much like dear lord
So when you hand him a neat bouquet of beautiful red roses, he nearly teared up
He loves those roses to death and will often just stare at them
He finds them even more pretty now that a pretty person gifted him pretty flowers
He starts calling you his rose
I love him Jesus christ-
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Mark Heathcliff
While not a huge fan of flowers, he has to say carnations are the prettiest in his opinion
He doesn't know why, but they just look so pretty to look at and touch
He was honestly shocked once you handed him a bouquet of them
I mean no one ever buys him flowers
Maybe the exception of Cesar one time, but romantically? Never.
He, like Cesar, always ends up just looking at them, admiring them
He ends up buying more carnations just because they remind him of a special person, aka you!
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Adam Murray
Ever since he was a kid, his favorite flowers were always sunflowers
He remembers fondly picking out a messy bunch as a kid and giving it to his mom
So when one day you picked out a few sunflowers and handed it to him, all the memories waved back in
God he loved them so much
He looks at them and just remembers childhood memories and now he wants to make new ones with you with these flowers
So the next time you both went to an area of a park, he picked out a bunch of sunflowers and handed them to you
"Its only fair. Besides, you are my sunflower!"
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Jonah Marshall
Unlike the others, he never had a real likeness to any flowers before hand. They just didn't catch his eye as much
Though that all kinda changed when you gave him a few hydrangeas while in the forest with him
He stared at them for a while. His beautiful s/o gave him these...just out of no where?
Well now he loves them
He said that if you and him ever got married, he wants those flowers to be a huge factor in the wedding
They mean so much to him unlike before
Now he tries to get them if and when he has the space and money
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bellysoupset · 11 months
Note
Ooooh, given that Leo can cook and Jonah can't...how about he plans a romantic dinner date and accidentally gives them both food poisoning 😈 sometimes fish can have toxins in that will make you sick no matter how well you cook it, but you can't see/smell/taste them to avoid
Oh my! This ended up huge as double food poisoning always does. I'd kill for Leo and I'm pretty sure so would Jon. Thank you for this request it was awesome to write!!
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Cooking for Jonah had been a bold idea, one that Leo was regretting with how nervous he was for his boyfriend's reaction. Jon was one of the most annoying people when it came to food. His picky eating was mild, but what was hard about him was the fact he ate only in the best places. Places that Leo's humble cooking couldn't live up to.
Leo would never say it out loud, but he held Jon's opinion with the highest esteem, so while the compliments were nice, he only truly started to feel accomplished when he watched his boyfriend go for seconds. And then thirds. Leo wasn't sure he had ever seen Jonah go for thirds, not even in the fancy restaurants they went on dates.
He frowned, holding the spoon out of Jon's reach "are you eating so you won't hurt my feelings?"
Jonah snorted, "Fuck your feelings, give me the spoon. This is delicious."
"It's just... Okay," Leo shrugged, plating his boyfriend's third serving, while he still pushed around his own. He had been so nervous about whatever Jonah would think that he had only eaten about half of his first serving so far.
"Wherever did you learn how to cook?" Jonah groaned, eyes closed as he pushed the fish around his plate with the fork, in order to get it covered in cream.
"The poor know how to cook too, Dr. Banks," Leo teased, before shaking his head, "I had to learn how to feed myself young and then I realized that I quite enjoyed it, so..." he shrugged, "I don't know how to make anything fancy, though."
"This is plenty fancy," Jonah mumbled, cheeks puffed as he chewed, "really, Leo, consider dropping out of law and opening a restaurant."
Leo rolled his eyes, cheeks burning, "now you're just egging me on. I'm a way better lawyer than a cook."
"I never saw you lawyer anything," Jon shrugged, "but I have now eaten your food."
"Then eat, stop talking," he scoffed, squirming in his seat. Jonah's eyes lit up with mischief.
"Can't take a compliment?" he asked, voice brimming with happiness, "my boyfriend is a fucking amazing chef, a hottie, a lawyer, a football star-"
"Shut uuuup."
"Adorable too-"
"I'm not listening to you anymore," Leo jammed his fingers in his ears, much like a toddler and Jonah let out a laugh, surprised and genuine.
"Take the damn compliment!"
"Stop talking!"
He was still giddy, feeling a little dazed in cloud nine when they put the dishes away and crawled into bed. Jonah rolled flat on his back, planting a hand on his stomach.
"I ate too much," he grumbled, but he didn't seem upset about it, just stating a fact, "I'd eat more if I could."
"You are being ridiculous," Leo's cheeks were hurting from smiling, as he moved down on the bed, fishing his laptop out of his bag. Jonah didn't have a tv in his room, he was firm believer it was evil, so despite the giant flatscreen in the living room, they watched most of their shows in Leo's laptop that was held up by duct tape.
"Uhm, I don't think so," Jonah groaned, tugging on the elastic of his pajama bottoms and pushing it down. Leo raised his eyebrows, while his Netflix loaded, noticing how bloated his boyfriend's stomach was.
"You really overdid, uh?" he couldn't help the smugness. Jonah rolled his eyes.
"What do you want, a trophy?" he shoved Leo's arm gently, before shifting on the bed and pressing his cheek to the blonde's bicep, "where were we?"
"Rio was being tortured," Leo answered, pressing his cheek to the top of his boyfriend's head and getting comfortable as they started a new episode of Money Heist.
Not even twenty minutes later Jonah shifted again, peeling off of him and rolling on his back. Leo paused, "Jon?"
"Gotta burp, keep playing," now the breathy amusement had finally melted off his voice and it was back to its normal roughness. Leo didn't keep playing.
"Do you have a stomachache?"
"To the surprise of no one," Jonah said bitterly, "I did just eat my weight in fish and cream."
Leo nodded, putting the laptop away on the bedside table, "scoot down, let me rub your tummy."
"No," Jonah shook his head, grimacing as he thumped on his chest and managed to force up a deep, wet belch, "don't touch it, you'll make it worse."
Leo pouted, cringing in sympathy, "do you think tums would help?"
Again he shook his head no, sitting up on the bed and fanning himself. Jonah had sweat clinging to his forehead, Leo noticed.
"Babe... Are you sick?" he planted a hand on his boyfriend's forehead, but there was no fever, "talk to me, what can I do? Would tea help...?"
"No," Jonah hugged his knees, rocking back and forth, "I feel sick, I don't wanna drink anything else."
Leo bit his tongue, worriedly mulling over what he could possibly do to help. While he thought it over, Jonah leaned against the headboard, burping deeply in his fist and groaning.
"Babe, I think we should move this to the bathroom, that didn't sound good..." Leo decided, grabbing Jon's elbow but not forcing him to move. His answer was Jonah nodding in agreement, but not moving, only gulping down again.
There was another wet burp, this one Jonah didn't even bother trying to muffle, his hand moving down to his naked belly. It was puffy, sitting right over the elastic of his pajamas bottom and Leo cringed in sympathy as he heard a whine.
"Jon, c'mon..." Leo urged him, holding his bicep, "up."
With a little effort he managed to get Jonah inside the bathroom and crouching down in front of the toilet. Jon seemed almost out of it with the nausea, forehead pressing to the cold porcelain, "fuck, Leo... I really don't feel well..."
"Just get it up, it's too much food in your poor tummy," Leo explained, rubbing a hand steadily up Jonah's back. The man shuddered, squeezing the toilet.
"No," he spat in the water, "no, it feels off. I feel off..."
Leo felt a chill run down his spine as he considered another possibility: he had given him food poisoning.
He touched Jonah's forehead, but met clammy skin, no heat. Leo gulped down, suddenly nauseous with the idea. Jonah let out another groan and moved forward, bracing the toilet, back arching with a horrible retch.
Leo heard a little moan and then liquid hitting the water, a lot of it. He gulped down, rubbing Jon's naked back, "you're doing great, babe, just get it out..." he mumbled, through numb lips. Anxiety prickled him all over.
Jonah coughed, then reached in with a shaky hand, pressing the flush. His belly was still just as bloated and just as sick, emitting the loudest noises in the quiet bathroom, except for Jon's pained breathing.
"I still feel sick," he groaned, not even bothering to pull away from the bowl, "I don't feel better at all..."
"Jon..." Leo said against his own will. Mentally he started chanting shut up shut up shut up- "could it be food poisoning...?"
Jonah didn't pull back, he only turned his head, cheek resting on the toilet's seat. His hazel eyes zeroed Leo and he quirked an eyebrow, "you tell me, Leo."
Fuck.
Leo felt a whole new wave of nausea and anxiety, "I- I don't know... I did everything right, I swear, I- I cooked the fish, I cleaned it, I used different- different boards... I checked the expiration dat-uurhgp-" he interrupted himself with a retch and Leo slammed a hand over his mouth. The last thing he wanted was to make Jon vomit because he was sick too.
Jonah was frowning at him and Leo shook his head, feeling horrible in all senses of the word, "Jon, please say something-"
Jon didn't answer him, except for turning his head and burping up another gush of pale vomit into the water. He panted, eyes squeezed shut, puke still clinging to his bottom lip, "Leo."
"I'm so sorry, I'm sorry-"
"Leo," Jonah sighed, then gagged again and spat a mouthful of drool, "Leo, calm down."
He couldn't calm down, he had just given his boyfriend food poisoning and after he had eaten all that, after he had praised it so much-
Leo let out a whimper, choking up, "I'm so sorry..."
"It's fine," Jonah groaned, leaning over the bowl again, "fuck..." his throat bobbed up and down and he belched. He removed a hand from the toilet bowl, cradling his stomach and squeezing up another burp.
"Here, let me-" Leo fought to keep his voice steady, scooting up closer and planting his hand over Jonah's, rubbing wide circles. He expected at least a snappish response, but all he got was a sick groan, followed by the noise of liquid rushing up the man's throat.
Jonah nearly missed the bowl with the intensity of the gush, barely able to catch his breath in between the bouts of sickness. Leo wasn't even rubbing anymore, it almost felt like he was simply holding Jon, his hand resting over the swell of his stomach and feeling the angry gurgling inside.
Jon coughed, struggling to breath and wiping the tears that had involuntarily run down his cheek, "Leo..." he groaned, reaching for the flush, but missing, "I really don't feel well..."
"I know, babe, I'm so sorry," Leo said, flushing the toilet and grabbing a wad of paper to wipe Jonah's chin. His heart squeezed as he noticed Jon's chest rising and falling, both hands holding his bloated belly.
"It's still churning..."
"Let me rub your tummy," Leo asked, pulling Jon to lie across his lap, "try and get some rest, babe." He knew it was far from over, so did the other man. Jonah groaned, shaking his head as he braced against the toilet again.
"I can't- I can't lie down, it's all in my... My throat-" he gagged and brought up yet another little stream. Leo patted his back gently, turning his face to blow a small airy burp away from Jonah.
His own belly was hurting, but he was fairly certain in his case it was given to the overwhelming guilt crushing him.
The patting worked and Jonah belched again, then another deep burp brought up another huge gush of vomit, enough to cause him to choke and start coughing like crazy. Leo urged him to sit up straight, patting his back.
"Hey, hey, you're okay, breathe Jon..."
After a scary minute where it felt like Jonah might just choke, he slumped against the toilet, spent and exhausted. This time he didn't even attempt to flush, his chest rising and falling.
"Aw..." he groaned, eyes slipping shut, "hurt..."
"Do you think you're done?" Leo flushed the toilet, before crouching down again and cupping Jon's cheek, "hey, Jon?"
"I don't know..." Jonah mumbled, his lips barely opening, as if his jaw was too heavy.
"Okay, we'll sit here for a little bit more," Leo said, tugging on him and Jonah willingly rested his head on his shoulder, resting a hand over his bloated belly.
"What in hell did you do to the food?" he groaned, rubbing little circles and burping, not bothering to try and muffle it. He felt Leo flinch, but couldn't be bothered to reassure him, not when he felt this awful. Instead Jonah just closed his eyes, gingerly cradling his aching belly.
They sat there for the longest time, but just as Leo was about to ask if they could go back to bed, Jonah let out a groan and hiccupped, lurching forward and almost missing the bowl entirely.
Leo squeezed his eyes shut, swallowing in thickly. He wasn't sure if this was all just anxiety anymore, after all, he had eaten too... Just a lot less than Jonah.
Instead of saying anything, he opted for keeping a steady hand on his boyfriend's back, breathing slowly through his mouth and glaring at his lap. The usual ratty tanktop he wore for bed was clinging to his stomach and Leo tugged at it, not liking one bit the sensation of the fabric hugging him.
"I think I'm done..." Jonah rasped out, grabbing onto the sink to hoist himself up, "I need to lie down, I'm lightheaded."
"You need to drink water," Leo said, flushing after him and filling up a cup, before following Jonah into the room, "c'mon, take just a little sip for me, Jon."
"So you can poison me again?" his boyfriend scoffed, the joke missing its mark my a mile as Leo's heart sunk even further. He couldn't believe he had messed up this badly.
"Just... Just take a sip, I'm gonna grab you a bowl," Leo mumbled, refusing to meet his eyes. He felt overwhelmed and sick and his head was throbbing, his stomach was pulsing with nausea and he had fucking poisoned them both.
Leo sniffled, bracing against the laundry room's cabinet, reaching for the bucket. He had made Jonah terribly sick, all because he had wanted to show off and do a fancy dish.
"Leo...?" Jonah called from the room and the blonde sucked in a breath, wiping away the tears from the corner of his eye. No time to be a baby, he could feel guilty and dumb about this tomorrow.
"Here..." He said, planting the bucket right under Jonah's side. His boyfriend didn't even bother looking, an arm thrown over his eyes, blocking the bedroom light, while the other hand was planted to his bloated stomach.
"Turn off the lights," he asked and Leo obeyed, crawling into the bed, only to have Jon groan with the movement and gag again.
"Please don't move the bed, Leo."
"Sorry," he whispered, curling up on his side, "do you want me to-" he touched Jonah's hand over his belly and then felt as the other man pushed his hand away.
"No, I just want to sleep."
"Okay..." Leo forced the words out, blinking quickly to stop the sting of tears in his eyes. He needed to get himself on check.
***
When Jonah woke up again, the room was still pitch dark and his stomach was aching fiercely, rolling from side to side. He let out a groan, turning on his side and blindly reaching for the bucket.
He could still taste the cream and all it took was a weak cough from him in order for the rest of dinner to come up, splashing in the bucket with a disgusting noise. Jonah grunted, gagging as a cramp seized his belly, forcing up another thin stream and then only empty heaves.
Once he was done, spitting the taste out of his mouth, he noticed Leo hadn't said a thing. Had he even woken up?
Jonah lowered the bucket back down, wiping a hand over his face and grabbing the glass of water, as he sluggishly turned around to face Leo... Except his side of the bed was empty.
"Leo?" his voice broke over the one syllable word and Jonah took the smallest sip of water, struggling to get up. He was drenched in cold sweat, it was disgusting. He walked to the bathroom, but it was empty and dark, the door open.
Jonah frowned, all the more confused now. Had Leo left in the middle of the night? Without saying anything?
His stomach gurgled unhappily at all the movement and Jonah muffled a sick burp against his fist, but he knew that by now he was empty, if the sore muscles of his belly meant anything.
"Leo..?" he was so fucking queasy and tired, Jonah felt a pang of anger and hurt at the idea of Leo simply leaving. He walked the rest of the hallway and then frowned, as he noticed a lump on the couch.
Jonah sat down at the foot of the couch, confused as he noticed Leo rolled onto his side, shirtless, just his shoulders going up and down with deep breaths.
"Leo," he called, unsure now if he even should wake him up, but craving the comfort enough that he was willing to be this selfish, "wake up."
It took him a second, Jonah's hand coming to shake his thigh lightly, before Leo groaned and rolled onto his back, rubbing his face, "Jon...? What- Hey..." his voice softened, blue gaze turning all wet and sad, "how are you feeling?"
"Wretched," Jonah answered truthfully, "what are you doing in the couch? Was I moving too much?"
"No, you were fine," Leo shook his head, yawning. Outside, the sun had just started to peak out and Jonah vaguely thought he'd have to call in sick, there was no way he was going anywhere with how sloshy and nauseous he felt, "I just didn't want to wake you up or make you sick again, that's all."
"Make me sick...?" Jonah felt uneasy for a different reason now. He took in the situation, how ghostly white his boyfriend looked, his normally flat belly peaking over his baby blue boxers, the way his blonde hair was matted down by sweat, "oh shit, Leo, are you sick too?"
"I poisoned the food, Jon, what do you think?" Leo snapped back and the sharpness startled them both. Leo cringed at his own tone.
"It was an accident," Jonah frowned, "you didn't mean to do whatever is it that happened to the food, it's fine... Where's your shirt? It's freezing in this living room."
"Laundry," Leo made a face, "I couldn't get up fast enough."
Jon's heart squeezed. Fuck, "you got sick on your shirt? Baby, you should've woken-"
"So you could puke too?" Leo rolled his eyes, leaning forward on his knees and rubbing his temple, "I'm sorry, I don't mean to be snapping at you, I just... I feel horrible and I poisoned us both and you were in a state and- And you were mad at me and I get it, because it was my mist-"
"I wasn't mad at you, are you crazy?" Jonah scoffed, moving closer, "I know you didn't mean to make us sick, Leo, don't be stupid... And I know I'm useless when you're sick, but- But I still wanted to be there for you..."
"You seemed mad," Leo shrugged, not meeting his eyes and Jonah shook his head, leaning back against the couch and moving as close as he could with the way his boyfriend was sitting. Which wasn't much, considering Leo had his back to the arm of the couch and his knees drawn up to his chest.
"I wasn't mad, I was just sick," Jonah sighed, squeezing his knee, "are you mad?"
"No," Leo scoffed, then his stomach gurgled unhappily, interrupting them both. He opened a small, pained smile, "okay, maybe a little."
"Why are you angry?" Jonah fought a yawn, planting a hand over his own upset stomach, while the other he kept in his boyfriend's knee, "baby?"
"Just... I was feeling awful and you were angry - Well, you seemed angry," he corrected himself when Jon opened his mouth, "and I know I was the one who poisoned us, so really I shouldn't be demanding anything, but-"
"I'm sorry," Jonah interrupted him, "I'm sorry, I didn't want to be a dick to you. I should've realized you weren't feeling well either, I'm sorry."
Leo let out a groan, before moving on the couch and all but throwing himself on Jonah, hugging him tightly, "I'm sorry I made you super sick."
"That was on me for eating three plates," Jonah squeezed him back, grimacing when just the thought made him want to gag, "baby, maybe let go off before I puke again."
"Sorry," Leo sniffled, pulling back, "and I am so-"
"Stop saying that," Jonah cut him off, "how's your stomach?"
"Off," Leo shrugged, "I feel really sick, but I can't seem to vomit. You?"
"Sore, queasy... Empty, tho, I hope," Jonah rubbed the top of his stomach, fingers digging in and coaxing up a little burp, "do you wanna go back to bed? It's freezing here."
Leo bit down on his lip, shaking his head, "I think I'll just stay here. I really don't feel well, so-"
"I don't care," Jon frowned, "please, stop worrying about me, I want- Come to bed."
Leo's face lit up, "are you sure? I'm serious, Jon, I think I'm gonna puke-"
"Whatever," Jonah sighed, "I can't puke anymore anyway, I'm empty. Come to bed, love."
Leo nodded, in the living room that was slowly turning pink, even his greenish pale face looked blushy, "Okay..." he smiled timidly, "alright, let's go back to bed."
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vinnival · 11 months
Text
I think I will now drop my Jonah HCs !!
Buckle in, boys, there's a reason why I call myself the CEO of him/hj
Things he likes
Drums!! He used to always sneak to the band room in high school in order to practice on them. At least, before he got a set of his own and all.
Honeybuns! Always loved them. He in general has a sweet tooth (blame weed brownies) but always catered to honeybuns. Any time he shoplifts you'll most definitely find him pocketing a honeybun somewhere.
Weed. This is canon, yes, but he's also tried out many of the other drug methods and hated them, simply stuck to weed.
Physical affection. He's prone to hugging and cuddling. He will hold his friends' hands if they're cold, or flop on top of them if they're stretched out on a bed (all strictly platonically). This is more pronounced when he's high.
Things he dislikes
Authority. You've never seen a man be so spiteful towards the law before/hj
Going back on promises.
Cats. Not even in the funny cat alternate way he's just allergic.
Littering. He always makes sure to pick up after himself and will make sure no one he knows/sees litters.
Social
Whenever he meets someone- unless in a formal or professional setting- he will make a nickname up for them almost immediately. Nicknames include Ads, Sar, Eevee (Adam, Sarah, and Evelin respectively), and so on and so forth.
ASK HIM ABOUT ANIMAL FACTS.
He has DEFINITELY learned some whale facts as a kid just to spite his namesake. So y'know. If you ever happen to find yourself swallowed by a whale--
"Trust me on this. You get eaten by a whale. End of the world, right? NO. Curl into a ball, reduce your surface area. That way, those whales with teeth won't chomp you as easily and you'll just make a harder time for the whale."
He has a wonderful ability to make friends, but most times he chooses not to in favor of hanging out with the ones he cares for most.
Fiercely cares for his friends. This one's a given.
Sceeeene !! Of course, in order to avoid standing out in the era of Being Wanted By The Fucking Feds, he toned down his fashion taste and looks to dark greys and blacks. But before then, he was very much an eyesore. Taste the rainbow mothafuckaaa
He's the type to goof around a lot, so he will poke-poke teasingly or start impromptu pillow fights. This gets even more pronounced when he's high.
Easy-going.
Very... dog-like in personality. Golden retriever of a man/hj
He can and will start impromptu road games while on a drive. Expect him to spot a Volkswagon Bug and LAUNCH A PUNCH—
Mental
He has anxiety. This causes him to overthink... a lot.
He has a tendency to try and blanket his negative emotions or play down bad situations by joking about them. Sometimes it helps him process it! But most times this essentially turns into bottling up his frustrations, which... well. We all saw how that turned out in v2.
He's convinced himself that most times it's just better to walk away than to face things head-on. I repeat, we all saw how that turned o
Educational
Fucking LOVES biology. Always had an interest in animals and plants. He went to college to study biology :)
Keeps a few bugs at his place. Names them after celebrities so he can say shit like "Beyoncé's new roommate Madonna arrived yesterday. They immediately started fighting." and not provide any context to it.
His dad (mentioned up next) wanted him to go to law school. He just ignored that
Familial
His father, Mervin, is a lawyer. He was rarely home.
This left him with his mother, Clementine (OC), who was... eh. She was the bare minimum.
One fateful day, she ran away from them with 50k from Mervin's savings and never returned. In a panic, Mervin sent Jonah off to his grandpa to live with him while the lawyer strained himself to regain the money.
This left Jonah essentially without proper parents, only his abuelo. This is where he learned Spanish, at least!
He has a younger brother he doesn't know about, named Lucas (OC).
Miscellaneous
Peruvian. Obligatory
Will always be overtly dramatic about going to lay in bed. He'll usually do some extravagant dive onto it or something.
Bouncing off the last one, this man LOVES to sleep.
He's always had a hyperfixation on ghosts and the phenomena of spirits, even before he met Adam. Of course, any time too much fuckery happens, you bet your ass he's out of the place and back in their vehicle/observation area, on the cams for other evidence (ghost orbs, etc), or reviewing spirit box recordings.
He shoplifts. He knows all the good tips and tricks of stealing small items.
He's a goddamn furnace. He can have a simple t-shirt and sweatpants on and he'd still feel like he just hopped out of the Sahara.
Very proud of his hair! He loves it. In my HC it's a silver-ish, with just a hint of purple in there.
Has read the JJBA manga.
His favorite movie is The Lion King! He's basically adopted the hakuna matata ideology for his own
He's a big optimist. He'll always try and see the good in things, because... well, it's gotten him this far, hasn't it?
Whenever he listens to music he finds catchy, you'll likely see him tapping out a drum beat, whether it be with his hands or feet.
Likely has ranted before about how common 2/4 beats are in music and how annoying it is.
Likely has ranted about many other things- silly and serious- relating to his interests. He can just do that. Good for him <3
He can and will find ways to always joke about things, whether it be good or bad
Listens to a variety of music, he likes stuff ranging from breakcore to metal. Anything with a good beat.
He usually drives the car but sometimes he takes shotgun so he can watch the scenery fly by.
Demisexual+biromantic, he/him+they/them (when he feels more fluid.)
Started smoking weed because of getting MAD as a kid. He's since forgotten why.
Convinced himself Always believed alternates didn't exist.
Ended up dying via alternate.
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