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bvidzsoo · 1 day

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Love Me Like A Rockstar (9)

Chapter 9: You (Show Me Where My Days Went)

Author: bvidzsoo

Pairing: Song Mingi x female reader

Warning: cursing

Word count: 9.8k

Genre: university!au, enemies to lovers!au, rockstar!au

Summary: Love. You wanted none of it. You had already been heartbroken very badly once, you didn't wish to go through that ever again. But the Universe works in intricate ways and, somehow, you found yourself webbed up in a local rockstar's life, Song Mingi. He was everything you expected him to be, yet nothing like you imagined him he would be. What happens when you find mutual understanding and have heartful conversations? Will he be able to break down your walls? Will you be able to chase away his darkness?

A/N: Hi, lovelies!! LMLAR is BACK!! I am sooo happy I could finally update and just write, y'all have no idea! I am so sorry for making you wait so long for this update, but finishing my thesis was super important! I still have to study and such this month, but I promise next update won't take as long as this one did! (I'm writing other stories too while writing this one, so that kinda backfires sometimes lol) I am forever grateful that you are patient and stick around for the new chapters, this story is so dear to me you wouldn't even believe it. I am also super grateful and happy whenever you leave feedback, so please, keep on doing just that!<3 This chapter only exists because I was randomly inspired, and I'd like to apologize if it's a little rusty, I always have to get in "character" when I write this story lol. I am soo excited for next chapter, I think it's going to surprise you hehe. PLS PLS imagine that airport look from Mingi when reading this chapter, the pics from the moodboard, you'll see during which part! I also have a very small surprise at the end of this chapter hehe. I hope the time jumps aren't too confusing:(( Please, listen to the song called You before or while reading! Enough yapping, I hope you enjoy and leave feedback! (Taglist is always open for those interested! ^^)

Taglist: @orshii @or5i @lovely-red2 @scarfac3 @juicy-red

@sunaswifes-blog @voicesinmyhead-rc @teez-the-time @maru-matt @kyeos4ng

@deathbyyeekies @chicksmoothie @mjlbn01 @xhexy @tmtxtf

@hwashiningstar @thatfavouritesong @ateez-atiny380

⟨Series M.list ↭ Previous Chapter⟩

♫Playlist♫

Later that day

I hate him: hey…just checking in that I got home safely what are u up to?

I blinked, fingers tightening around my phone before I locked it, leaving the message on unread. My mother’s shuffling outside my door caught my attention, bringing a smile onto my lips as I watched her struggle while bringing all the dirty laundry to the bathroom. Then, I got off my bed to go help her.

Friday (11:30 am)

I hate him: i see u still haven’t checked my message… nothing too worrisome u certainly know how to make a man yearn for you lol that was a joke…dont freak out on me pls (lowkey true tho)

Friday (12:50 pm)

I hate him: lol, wooyoung has been bitching about seulgi’s professor for half an hour now mr. kwon u know him? i mean…i suppose he also teaches u i should take a sneaky video for u…wooyoung looks like a clown hanging upside down my bed and pouting like a damn child too (dont say im also one, thanks)

Friday (15:26 pm)

I hate him: well…ik my messages are going through so uh… why tf are u ignoring me???! *cries and dies in loneliness* entertain me dollll!!! im so bored pls oh…u said u had an important assignment…i bet u’re busy with that sorry for spamming u (text back tho when u’re done, im dying here…wooyoung is with seulgi and so is seonghwa with hongjoong…the single life sucks, bestie…lets be single and depressed together<3)

My jaw clenched as I heaved a long sigh, falling back on my bed as the sun shone brightly through my open window, the light breeze making me shiver as I only wore a t-shirt and sweats. Autumn was slowly turning into winter; the weather wasn’t so warm anymore. I threw another look at my phone, unlocked it, and stared at the received messages from Mingi for a second before finally deciding to delete them from my notification center, rolling over in bed to muffle a frustrated scream into my soft, and purple, pillow.

Saturday (9:09 am)

I hate him: i had the weirdest dream and im not even sure i want to tell u about it LOL but uh…a grisly was chasing me??? and then u appeared on a fucking white horse like a prince LOL and threatened to like…slay it if it didnt leave me alone??? honestly…what a slay, bestie good morning, btw, doll hope u had a better night’s sleep than me (and dreamed of me ehehehe)

Saturday (17:40 pm)

I hate him: i cant believe i allowed myself to be fooled like this back in highschool yuyu and i used to play baseball for shits and giggles and hongjoong (that rich prick) rented a whole ass baseball field for us for the afternoon and let us play with some of his (rich af) friends and uh… i think i wont be able to walk straight for another week with how much running i did… hongjoong kept scoring homeruns…i wish yuyu was here to kick his loser ass (dont tell hwa or hong i said that PLS) yo doll…everything’s alright with u? uh u…really havent answered me since… yk…i stayed over and waited for the rain to stop… have i done something wrong?

I sighed and put my phone on ‘do not disturb’, suddenly having lost all of my appetite as I forced the rest of the lettuce down my throat. My mother was sipping her kiwi and apple smoothie, eyes narrowed as she muttered to herself while trying to memorize the recipe of a dessert for later. Desserts were never her forte, unfortunately.

“Is it Seulgi?” She asked absentmindedly as I took a large gulp of my own smoothie, staring down at my salad, steak pushed to the side in my plate.

“Huh?” I asked distracted, eyes still glued to the dark screen of my phone.

“Texting you, your phone keeps buzzing, my starlight.” I rolled my eyes at the nickname, but didn’t bother to comment on it. I took a peek at my mother and her eyes were narrowed at me already, video on YouTube paused. Fuck, I had to answer her now or else she’d pester me all day long. And that would be a nightmare.

“Yeah, it’s Seulgi.” I lied, trying to make my voice sound convincing.

“Well, answer her then, don’t be rude.” My mother chastised me, pressing play on her video again, pursing her lips as she shook her head at whatever the man baking was saying.

“Later.” I whispered, biting my lower lip as my eyes remained glued to my phone, stomach clenching and heart dropping.

But I couldn’t.

Sunday (1:01 am)

I hate him: …you’re ignoring me, arent u? im sorry, y/n, i dont know what i did wrong, but we can talk about it we’re friends, after all…right?

『When you came along, I knew what was wrong

If you want to know exactly what I've missed』

Monday (present time)

It truly would have been a missed opportunity if Seulgi and I wouldn’t have grabbed coffee and went to sit in our usual spot in the back garden. The campus of our University was huge and that was perfect, because it meant people migrated and didn’t stay in one spot for long—at least long enough to irritate me to no end. Last week deemed to be rather rough, and I still didn’t feel like completely myself. To be honest, I thought about staying home today—and for the rest of the week—but I couldn’t afford missing any of my classes as exam period was slowly nearing, and so, I had to force my ass out of the house this morning before my mother could come and nag me about my weirdly unusual broody mood that has been going on for the past few days.

I hummed as I took a sip of my sweet coffee, enjoying the taste of warm caramel as Seulgi sighed loudly next to me, both hands cupped around her own coffee cup. The scent of cinnamon wafted from her cup and I scrunched up my nose, not too fond of the ingredient’s smell. Our classes started early in the morning today and we’d be here for at least four more hours, caffeine seemed like our only hope to stay awake and aware at this point. Given the fact that my baffling thoughts kept me up all night yesterday, I felt grateful that I was still on my feet at two o’clock at noon. As Seulgi fidgeted again, I chuckled and finally turned my head to look at her. She had a sheepish look on her face, and I tried not to laugh as I knew she was bursting to tell me all about her date with Wooyoung on Saturday.

“Well,” I started as I took a sip of my coffee, prolonging the suspense for her, “how did your date go?”

“It was amazing!” I had barely finished asking as Seulgi exclaimed, her cheeks turning rosy—and it wasn’t due to the cold air, “Wooyoung is—everything I thought he would be. He’s sweet and up for anything, he makes me laugh until I feel like passing out, and there’s just never a dull moment with him, you know?”

“One would expect that from him.” I muttered against my cup, laughing as Seulgi nudged my side, not looking too happy with my comment, “Oh, come on, it would be hard for Wooyoung to be different than the way he mostly presents himself; don’t you think?”

Seulgi grumbled something against her cup as she lightly bit into the carton, shooting me a pointed stare, “Well, yes, but…he makes me happy. Treats me well and all that, you know, he’s the perfect embodiment of what a boyfriend should be like.”

“Boyfriend, huh?” I teased with a smirk, wriggling my eyebrows at my best friend as her cheeks flushed an even darker color as she bit her lower lip, trying to mask the huge grin expanding on her lips. But as soon as I started giggling, Seulgi also broke out in a fit of giggles, hiding herself behind her wavy hair, pressing her cup of coffee against her face.

“God, I’m so down bad for him, Y/N, I don’t think you’d understand.” She mused, voice airy as she threw her head back, leaning back against the back of the bench. I chuckled and took another sip of my drink.

“Maybe I’d do.” I muttered, memories of my relationship with Yunho resurfacing. Thankfully, however, I managed to repress them as quickly as they came. They didn’t feel so gut-wrenching anymore, and to my surprise, didn’t leave a bitter taste in its wake either. What has changed? Certainly—certainly getting closer to his best friend didn’t influence the way I feel about Yunho, right? Right.

“So,” I glanced at Seulgi from the corner of my eyes as she swung her legs, looking down at her feet in the process, “how are you?”

“Fine, why?” I asked confused, angling my body to face Seulgi better.

“You’ve been…distant the whole weekend. I could barely reach you.” Seulgi’s voice sounded small and I gulped, feeling bad for making her worry about me, “You know…the last time you pulled away and disappeared, it was bad.”

“I promise you I am doing completely fine, Seulgi, you’d be the first person to know if I was in a bad headspace again, alright?” I reached out and grabbed her hand, squeezing it reassuringly. Seulgi sighed and then raised her head to look at me, lips pulled into a thin line.

“Promise?”

“Of course, I promise.” I smiled at her warmly and she hummed in contentment, squeezing my hand back as she took a sip of her coffee. I followed suit before removing my hand from hers to fiddle with my half empty cup, “I’m just dealing with some things right now. I think I’m confused.”

“About what?” Seulgi asked curiously, leaning closer as I continued to avoid eye contact with her.

“I’ll tell you once I have my thoughts sorted about it.” I chuckled, making Seulgi roll her eyes in displeasure.

“You know, I tell you absolutely everything about myself and how I fell, and you always shut me out and tell me how you felt about a situation when it’s been over for years.” Seulgi pouted, narrowing her eyes at me, “How’s that fair, Y/N?”

“Hey, we work differently, don’t try to guilt trip me now.” I chuckled and took a sip of my coffee, making Seulgi roll her eyes, “Anyways, what did you do on your date with Wooyoung?”

“We went to the cinema,” Seulgi’s face lit up once again, grinning from ear to ear, “He bought me roses, a big bouquet. And after the movie we went for a walk and ended up stargazing in his cabriolet. It was really romantic.”

I smiled, feeling happy for my friend, she deserved someone like Wooyoung, “That actually sounds really amazing…and romantic.”

“Oh, my God, are you really Y/N? Where is my friend that hates anything that has to do with romance, cute stuff, and love?!” Seulgi’s shocked face was mocking and I rolled my eyes, crossing my arms in front of my chest as I leaned back against the back of the bench.

“I don’t hate it, I’m just not a huge fan of all of those things, okay?!” I shrugged, letting my arms fall from my chest as I pushed them inside my coat’s pockets.

“Who’s the culprit?” When I raised my eyebrows at Seulgi, a sign that I didn’t understand her question, she chuckled and leaned closer, “Who’s the man that’s changing your views on life, huh?”

“Man?” I asked with a scoff, giving Seulgi a deadpanned expression, “Does it always have to be about a man? Can’t it be just the fact that I had a change of mind?”

“Sure, because of someone.” Seulgi had a smug look on her face, acting as if she won the argument. But there was no argument here and she had no idea what she was talking about.

“Whatever—” But I got cut off as her phone dinged loudly. Seulgi, very comically, scrambled to reach for her phone and as she opened it up, a wide grin stretched onto her lips. It didn’t take two braincells to realize who had texted her, and thus, I chuckled and turned my head. I sipped my coffee, taking in my environment while Seulgi answered her boyfriend, giggling quietly every now and then.

The campus was finally silent and not as busy as it usually was in the early morning hours. The cold weather also helped in keeping the garden a little quieter as most people preferred to stay inside the warm corridors and classrooms. But the chilly air was good, it soothed my nerves and erased thoughts that weren’t productive. Similar to that, were the emotions that I didn’t want to deal with again, like the guilt that’s never left me ever since Mingi walked out of my house wearing Yunho’s old clothes. It felt wrong letting him take them without knowing the truth about them, but I didn’t feel ready to tell him yet about the truth. I was scared, surprisingly, of what he’d think of me once he found out about Yunho and I. I was scared that—he’d walk away, like Yunho had once done. And that was a very frightening thought. But when had I become so attached to Mingi? When has Mingi managed to infiltrate himself so thoroughly in my life, that the thought of completely losing him became scary? And why was I taking the past few days so badly? It’s not like we were as close as Seulgi and I, or him and Seonghwa and Wooyoung, yet, ignoring him felt like the wrong move to do. However, the reasoning I always circled back to was the fact that I needed space. I had to clear my mind, to find the purpose of this whole friendship that’s been blooming between us, and to make sense of everything. I had to figure out first why Yunho barely scraped my thoughts now, and why was it was Mingi who I found myself thinking of so often. In case you were wondering, no, I still haven’t found the reason, and it was becoming frustrating quite quickly. That near kiss was a—mistake. Yet, it could have been so much worse—it could have been a real kiss. And a real kiss would have ruined everything. I didn’t want to open up to anyone just yet, not when the memories of Yunho still haunted me in my dreams and drawings. Drawings that now more often than not consisted of Song Mingi.

And to my horror, the flipping of paper sheets is what alerted me back to my surroundings as I had been lost in my thoughts, oblivious to Seulgi putting her phone down and grabbing my sketchbook that lay between the two of us on the bench. As I turned my head, my eyes widened as Seulgi’s expression held surprise but amusement as well. She chuckled as she looked up, making eye contact with me. I lunged forward in an instant, trying to take my sketchbook out of her hands, but she leaned back and away, putting it behind herself.

“Bitch, I’m not the only one who’s down bad for a man.” She said with a laugh, making me groan as I gave up trying to snatch my sketchbook back from her.

“I’m not down bad for a man, Seulgi, stop this non-sense.” I hissed, cheeks burning in embarrassment as she kept flipping through my drawings.

“Please,” She scoffed, turning my sketchbook around and making me grimace as I came face to face with an exact replica of Mingi, sitting in his chair, at his studio that one time he invited me inside, “Who the fuck draws so many drawings of one single person if they aren’t in love with them—”

“I’m not in love with Mingi, stop it!” I exclaimed, heart beating fast as Seulgi raised her eyebrows at me, looking unimpressed, “Don’t ever again say that, Seulgi.”

“Okay, calm down, whatever. You’re not in love with Mingi.” She chuckled, closing my sketchbook but she didn’t hand it back yet, “But let’s face it, Y/N, you have a thing for Mingi. It’s super freaking obvious even without the drawings.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” I hissed and finally snatched the sketchbook out of her hands, clutching it to my chest. I knew bringing this along today would turn out to be a mistake, and here I was, facing the repercussions of my actions.

“There’s this glint in your eyes whenever you look at him—”

“Yeah, it’s called dislike.” I scoffed, rolling my eyes.

“And I see how you struggle to refrain yourself from smiling when you’re around him—”

“Bitch, be for real, Mingi and I aren’t even often together around you for you to notice that.” I scoffed, completely appealed by whatever absurd claims my best friend was making.

“So you’re not denying it—would it really be so bad if you liked Mingi?” But Seulgi ignored all my interruption as she raised her eyebrows at me, smiling softly, “He’s a nice guy. Very well-mannered and with a big, and good heart. Wooyoung loves him a lot and is always worrying about him. He says Mingi hasn’t been the same ever since his best friend moved away for college—”

“Mingi is Yunho’s best friend!” I blurted out before I could stop myself, finally feeling like a stone was taken off my chest as I bit my lower lip, averting my eyes from Seulgi’s shocked expression, “Mingi is the best friend Yunho had always talked so much about while we were together. I—do you understand why it would be so bad if I ended up liking Mingi?”

“Y/N,” Seulgi whispered, eyebrows furrowed, “for how long have you know?”

“Long enough.” I muttered before clearing my throat, “So please understand that I’m not ready for whatever the hell me drawing all those sketches of Mingi could mean. A month ago I was close to bursting out crying even at the thought of Yunho, and now I fail to remember his existence on my best days.”

When I dared take a peek at Seulgi, she was smiling softly, almost proudly, “Fine, I’ll pester you about this later on, when you’ve figured things out, but until then—you can’t deny Mingi isn’t hot—”

“Can we stop talking about Min—”

“Hi, girls!” I jumped in fright at the overly excited and shrill greeting as both Seulgi and I turned our heads to be met with…Wooyoung and Mingi. Speak of the devil. Suddenly, there was a lump in my throat, and my heart started beating just a little bit faster as my eyes fell on Mingi’s tall form. It didn’t help that underneath his coat he was wearing Yunho’s sweater—the one I had given him.

“Hi.” Seulgi giggled as Wooyoung leaned down to press a kiss against her cheek, the two looking sickly in love. It was actually endearing, but I’d never admit it out loud for my own sake as I knew I’d get teased about it by Seulgi. I averted my eyes from Wooyoung and Seulgi as they were muttering things to each other, and so, had no choice but to look up at Mingi, who looked—expressionless. Something in my stomach dropped at his cold demeanor, and it was worse that I wanted to assume it was my fault that he looked like that. But just as I was about to look away, he cracked the tiniest smile ever, and I exhaled, licking my lips.

“Hi.” My voice was small as I gulped, eyes trans-fixated on the tall man as his smile became just a little wider. I don’t think I had the power to ignore him anymore, not when he was standing right in front of me, looking like he wished to be anywhere but here.

“Hi, Y/N.” Having not heard his voice in days, it sounded even deeper and raspier than usually, making butterflies erupt in my stomach as my grip tightened around my sketchbook. I felt a little awkward, perhaps even tense, as Mingi didn’t say anything else, just continued gazing down at me with his sharp dark brown eyes boring into my own. I had so many things that I could’ve said to him, but I felt tongue tied. I didn’t know what would be the right way to approach him after I ignored him for so many days. Would he understand? Is he mad at me now? Does he hate me now? Will he forgive me—

“Okay,” Wooyoung chuckled, syllable drawn out and sounding amused, “I feel like I’m interrupting something here, yet they are basically just staring at each other.”

“You’re right.” Seulgi giggled, and I finally looked away from Mingi, throwing a glare at my best friend as she had leaned into Wooyoung’s side, who stood next to the bench and her.

“Shush, you two.” Mingi beat me to telling the two love-birds off, and I couldn’t help but smile, “Don’t poke your nose where it doesn’t belong to.”

“Look who’s lecturing me about poking my nose where it doesn’t belong to—”

“Wooyoung.” Mingi’s tone held a warning, and it made Wooyoung giggle as he leaned down and pressed a fat kiss against Seulgi’s cheek—again—making her push him away playfully.

“We’re headed to class, are you coming over later?” Wooyoung smiled down at his girlfriend, playing with a strand of her hair.

“Maybe, if I get to finish my project.” Seulgi said with a pout and Wooyoung hummed, leaning down to press a kiss against her lips this time around. I averted my eyes, not a fan of seeing couples kiss, only to catch Mingi already looking at me. He was expressionless once again, but he was fidgeting with his fingers, looking almost nervous. And as Wooyoung stood up straight and ruffled Seulgi’s hair affectionately, Mingi took a deep breath.

“Will you come to Outlaw this Friday?” He asked in a rush, sounding almost reluctant as his eyebrows furrowed slightly and he chewed on his lower lip. To my horror, I found my eyes fixated on his plush mouth and I gulped before I quickly averted my eyes, praying that nobody caught it.

“Yes.” I answered before Seulgi could, and nodded, smiling a little bit, “I won’t miss it.”

A beautiful smile spread on Mingi’s lips and he nodded once, looking too happy for something so little. I don’t think I’ll understand anytime soon why he gets so excited and happy when I listen to his songs or watch him perform. I’m no expert when it comes to music, my feedback is merely amateur and I’m not even a fan of his band yet.

“Cool, see you then.” And Mingi didn’t wait for Wooyoung as he turned around and walked away, steps hurried. I didn’t miss the confused glance Wooyoung and Seulgi shared before Wooyoung was off, chasing after his best friend. And maybe I would be soon able to make sense of my thoughts and feelings around Mingi, figure out what they meant and why they felt so real at times.

Monday (16:58 pm)

I hate him: hi Me: hi I hate him: would it be a lot if i asked to meet u tomorrow? Me: no, im free in the afternoon I hate him: cool, me too so uh…we can hang out in my studio? Me: or we can go to that new café with pottery I hate him: really? Me: u did say u wanted us to go… I hate him: i certainly said so i’ll pick u up around 4 Me: u don’t have to i’ll meet you there I hate him: come on, y/n…let me drive u Me: u’ve driven me around too many times by now i’ll meet u there and that’s final. I hate him: okay, boss, see ya there Me: :))

Getting here before four o’clock and having to wait in front of the cute café had no business being this nerve-wrecking. Yeah, Mingi hasn’t shown up yet—but perhaps that’s because there were still ten minutes until it’d be four—and I knew I had no reason to think he’d bail on me, but we hadn’t spoken since yesterday, when he had asked me if we could hang out. And so, waiting for him shouldn’t have had me breaking out in a sweat despite the cold weather, making me bite my lower lip harshly as I tried to smooth down the wool, green, brown, and beige patterned coat I was wearing. First of all, why the hell would I be so nervous about meeting up with Mingi alone at this cute café? He probably wanted to talk about that near kiss, and once we had that cleared, things would go back to normal—right?!

And maybe that was the reason which made me want to vomit on the sidewalk, the thought that I knew Mingi would demand answers—answers that I wasn’t yet ready to hand out. Why did I even agree to this? Because I missed him? I should have just stayed at home and done the project I’ve been procrastinating on—again. But when I heard the rumble of Mingi’s old Honda’s engine, I knew there was no turning back, catching the bus and running home to hide underneath my blanket.

As Mingi took his time to parallel park, I took a deep breath and gripped onto the strap of my tote bag harder, looking down at myself. My apricot orange sneakers matched the color of my blouse, the top two buttons out of five undone, but not showing too much skin. My blouse was tucked inside my washed out high waisted mom jeans, the black belt matching the color of my tote bag—I know black isn’t a color, I’m an arts major after all. My hair was pulled in a low ponytail just to prevent the wind from blowing it in my face, and I was thankful that I chose my wool coat as it kept me warm enough. I have opted to wear quite a few rings today, and because my neck felt too exposed, I decorated it with three necklaces of different length. I gulped hard one last time as Mingi got out of his car and took a few seconds until he managed to lock it. However, those few seconds were exactly what I needed to prepare myself to not pass out at the full sight of him.

Mingi, in true fashion to him, wore all black, except for his jeans that were a very dark shade of blue, almost black too. His turtleneck was tucked inside his jeans, a black coat with a hood keeping him warm from the cold late autumn weather. It almost made me smile upon seeing his own tote bag, black, and funnily matching mine. Except that his was plain, while mine had Claude Monet’s Water-Lily Pond painting painted on it, done by none other than yours truly, me. Mingi’s eyes were concealed by black sunglasses, and I snorted as he almost splashed himself up by stepping a little too enthusiastically into a big puddle. Two necklaces hung around his neck, reaching down his chest. A very obvious and sturdy silver cross necklace, and another longer chain that had pearls scarcely strung on it. And in true Song Mingi fashion, his rings weren’t missing, only two of his nails painted black on each hand, almost as if he didn’t have time to finish doing them. My heart racing in my chest so fast just at the mere sight of him, certainly wasn’t healthy, right?

“Hi!” I squeaked out and wished to burry myself instantly as Mingi chuckled, a very charming smile spreading onto his lips. It was a little annoying that I couldn’t see his eyes, forced to stare at his plush lips instead—let’s be real, nobody forced me, I did it because I couldn’t help myself, “The sun is quite blinding today, isn’t it?”

And of course, in good old fashion, my mouth worked before my brain would agree to saying something out loud, and my cheeks were burning as I knew Mingi saw me look at his lips. I had to divert the attention somehow, and teasing him was my best method, actually. It always worked.

“I’m trying to make a fashion statement,” Mingi grinned as he gripped the sunglasses and took them off in a very unnaturally hot way, “but hello to you too.”

“No need for a fashion statement when it’s just the two of us,” I narrowed my eyes, finding Mingi’s hair very soft and fluffy looking, almost as if he had recently washed it, and it wasn’t completely dry, “I’m not one of your fans.”

“Pity,” Mingi hummed, stepping slightly closer to me, “I thought I might just finally wove you.”

I scoffed, and as I was about to tell him off, he grabbed my tote bag and pulled me after himself, headed for the entrance of the café, “Did you have to wait long for me? Traffic was busier today, I had to take a few detours to get here in time.”

“Don’t worry,” I smiled as he opened the door for me and let me walk inside first, “I only waited half an hour for you to arrive, runway princess.”

“Runway princess?!” Mingi’s eyes bulged for a second before he started laughing loudly, making a few customers glance our way as we made it inside the café. I elbowed him in the stomach gently, not too keen of having people glare at us as he disturbed their peace.

“Don’t like the nickname?” I asked with a raised brow as we neared the front desk. The cashier had a friendly smile on her face while she greeted us as Mingi and I looked up at the menu, trying to decide what we’d like to have.

“Never said that,” Mingi answered with a chuckle as he threw me a quick glance, “it’s just surprising coming from you.”

“Why, can’t I call you a princess?” I chuckled, turning to face the cashier as I have made up my mind about what I’d like to have.

“Up until now you seemed to prefer the term ‘bro’, but I’m fine with whatever you decide on calling me, doll.” The look the cashier gave us made my cheeks flame up and I cleared my throat loudly, shooting Mingi a look that told him to shut up.

“Sorry about that,” I muttered embarrassed, smiling at the cashier, “can I get a strawberry cheesecake?”

“Sure, right away, and you, sir?” Her attention was on Mingi now, cheeks flushing the longer she looked at him. Okay, I could totally understand why. Mingi looked quite good right now, it was hard not to ogle him.

“A mint-chocolate cheesecake and a cappuccino?” Mingi hummed, eyebrows furrowed in thought as he looked down at the cashier.

“Plain cappuccino or with vanilla?” The cashier typed in our orders as she asked Mingi, averting her eyes shyly once he looked at her, pursing his lips.

“Plain,” He decided at last, turning to look at me, “are you not getting anything to drink?”

“An orange fresh will be alright.” I said as I reached inside my bag to fish around for my wallet.

“And would you also like to paint some pottery?” The cashier asked, pointing behind herself at all the displayed options. Mingi and I shared a look and I smiled as I nodded at him, making him grin from ear to ear.

“Yeah, we’ll paint some pottery too. Can I have a cup?” He asked, pointing at one on the higher shelf. It was a smaller cup, specifically made for drinking coffee. The cashier nodded and then looked at me expectantly.

“Uh, a mug will do for me.” I said and thanked her once she handed us the pottery and the paint that was used for painting these. Then, she tapped a few more on her tablet and told us the total. I opened my wallet to pay for my purchase, but Mingi had a card in his hands, the cashier already typing in the total sum for him to pay.

“Mingi,” I hissed quietly, looking at him with a frown, “what are you doing?”

“It was my idea to come here—”

“No, it wasn’t.” I cut him off, fingers curling into the scratchy fabric of his coat as I reached out to hold it, “I suggested we come here instead of going to your studio.”

Mingi sighed and pocketed his card, already having paid, then turned his body to face mine. I didn’t let go of his coat just yet, “Yeah, but when I drove you home during that downpour I asked you if you’d come here with me. So technically, it was my idea. Initially, anyways, it really was.”

“Mingi—” I started, but soon swallowed my words as he stepped closer, invading my personal space. My fingers tightened more into his coat and I gulped, suddenly feeling nervous due to our proximity. He faintly smelled of vanilla, it was a fragrance I didn’t except to smell on him.

“Can you not fight me on this one, please?” Mingi’s eyebrows slightly furrowed and his eyes softened up and I—struggled to breathe for a second as I stared up in his pleading eyes, mouth going dry. He looked—adorable like this, and I did not like the way I felt myself getting lost in his soft gaze.

“Let’s find a table.” I muttered, forcing myself out of the trance he placed on me, and grabbed my mug and the painting supplies. Mingi followed suit as he took his own cup and followed after me closely. We walked further inside the café and found a smaller table in the next room, closer towards the window. The walls were painted a faint orange and were decorated by white stripes that created abstract shapes. The chandeliers were white and hung low, the place well-lit for those who wished to paint pottery.

I placed the things in my hands on the table carefully, and then discarded my coat on the back of my chair and my tote bag by the leg of the table, pulling my chair out for myself. Mingi followed suit, however, he managed to almost send his cup tumbling to the floor when he took his seat. His eyes were wide as he just barely caught the cup, and I giggled as I watched him while opening the box that held all the paint. Thankfully, the table was spacious enough to harbor both our pottery and paints as the cashier brought out our delicacies. She threw Mingi a lasting look before she hurried back to the front desk, glancing our way at times.

“This is going to be a tough one.” Mingi said before scooping up a bit of his cheesecake with his little spoon.

“Why?” I asked with a chuckle, choosing a thin brush to start painting some flowers on my mug. My cheesecake could wait.

“Because I’m literally sat at a table with an arts major, having to decorate some cup by painting.” Mingi sounded stressed and I chuckled as I looked up at him, amused by his expression. His hair fell in his eyes a bit, and I found myself absentmindedly reaching over the table to brush it to the side. Almost as if realizing at the same time what I had done, we both froze. It felt like time stilled around us as I watched Mingi with a gaping mouth, slowly but surely, my cheeks becoming the color of a fire hydrant. But Mingi wasn’t better off as he bit his bottom lip, averting his eyes shyly as his cheeks turned the faint color of pink. Clearing my throat and accidentally choking as I hastily pulled my hand back, I averted my eyes and fought for my life to not choke. Thank God the orange juice was right there, I quickly took three large gulps.

“Th—thanks.” Mingi stuttered, staring at the table as he licked his lips, “Uh, it’s gotten long, my hair, I mean, I have to cut it when I get the time.”

“Yeah.” I nodded, grabbing my mug and chewing on my bottom lip in embarrassment—God, could the Earth swallow me up right now? Why the hell did I do that?! “Yeah.”

“Do you think I should change it up a little?” I paused as I had dipped my brush in red paint, and slowly looked up at Mingi, “Do something fun with it—like going blonde?”

“I hate blonde hair.” I blurted out before I could stop myself. Nice one, idiot. Yunho was blonde while we were together, and thus, yeah, I’ve hated blondes ever since. And to be fair—and this is not me shitting on my ex—but that hair color did not suit Yunho at all.

“Oh, noted.” Mingi whispered, pouting a little. I sighed and looked up at the ceiling, hating myself for the weird atmosphere I have created.

“Mingi, you can do whatever you want with your hair.” I spoke up, leaning down to try and look him in the eyes as he was busy staring at the table, “My opinion shouldn’t matter. It’s your hair. Go crazy with it, have fun, try out something new. Really.”

“But do you think it would suit me?” Mingi was still pouting as he finally looked up at me, looking quite crestfallen. My eyebrows furrowed and I tried to imagine him with blonde hair. He was quite blessed with his skin complex as most colors looked good on him, but perhaps I preferred Mingi with dark hair—black hair, more specifically. Like he had it right now. He looked—good. Handsome, even. Completely gorgeous. Fuck.

“I think it would suit you.” I settled on saying that. He didn’t have to know my train of thought, like at all. Mingi hummed in appreciation, and I watched as he reached inside his tote bag, pulling out a case that held his glasses. He took it out of the case and put it on, pushing it up on the bridge of his nose. He grinned when he looked at me and I chuckled, shaking my head as I looked down at my mug, finally starting to decorate it.

“There goes the cool, mysterious, hot celebrity act.” I teased under my breath, not expecting Mingi to hear me. But he did, and he started laughing, giving me a cheeky grin.

“Not quite a celebrity yet, but at least you admit I am hot.” Of course he was smirking as I gave him a deadpanned look, about to argue him on his statement, but he didn’t let me as he continued talking, “By the way, let’s exchange our cups when we are done. The mug will be mine and the cup will be yours.”

I tried to fight the smile off my lips, “So that you get the artwork of a talented artist for free to sell for an outrageous price later on when I’m famous?”

“I fear you have misjudged my character, doll.” Mingi’s eyes narrowed playfully, but there was truth to his words. I might just have misjudged his character.

“I still think you’re arrogant and selfish.”

“Of course you do, didn’t except anything less from you.” Mingi winked and then looked down, his cheesecake forgotten as he started decorating his cup, tongue just barely sticking out as he concentrated hard on whatever he had in mind to paint onto the cup. I chuckled and shook my head before focusing on my own mug, the silence that’s settle around us comfortable, as always.

Mingi and I were the quietest table in the café as we worked in silence diligently in, painting our own pottery. Mingi, at times, would hum along quietly to the songs that were played on the radio. Despite his cup being smaller and easier to paint, I finished painting mine before him, and so, I took the time to savor my cheesecake even if it had gotten warm and a little too soft. Mingi was hunched over in his seat, glasses low on the bridge of his long nose, with his full lips either pursed or with the bottom one bitten as his eyebrows would furrow every time he almost made a mistake. It was a funny sight, and I grabbed my phone without thinking much, and snapped a few pictures of him, leaning lower and even closer to his face to get the funny angles, all while Mingi remained oblivious to it. I chuckled as I looked at the pictures I had taken of him, looking at him when I felt eyes on me.

“What’s so funny?” He asked curiously, eyeing my phone for a second.

“You.” I chuckled and stuck my tongue out as Mingi rolled his eyes, leaning back in his chair as he heaved a long sigh.

“I’m finally done.” He grinned and I looked down at his cup, taking in the yellow chicks he had painted quite—clumsily. Well, not all of us had the skills of a painter—not that it was an issue or anything—it’s just that it’s been long since I had seen someone have the skills of a—kindergartner, “It’s pretty sick, huh?”

I bit my lower lip to stop myself from giggling and nodded with my eyebrows furrowed, “I’d give it a seventy out of a hundred mark.”

“Hey! That’s too low!” Mingi said, looking offended. I chuckled before shrugging.

“You’ll have to work on your skills for a higher mark.”

“Fine, next time you come to the studio, I’ll make you sing.” Mingi raised his eyebrows, making me narrow my eyes at him playfully.

“Oh, I didn’t know we are in a competition.”

“We weren’t, until now.” He winked and then stood, grabbing my mug and his own cup carefully as he took it to the front desk for drying. I gathered the items we had used to paint the pottery with to place them back in the box, and couldn’t help it but sneak a glance at Mingi. He was leaned up against the front counter, grinning widely at the cashier as she spoke to him, using her hands for big gestures as she was probably explaining something. My eyes narrowed as Mingi leaned slightly closer to her, only to detach himself from the front desk and walk back towards our table. I looked away and busied myself with my glass of orange juice.

“So, we’ll get them delivered to our houses once they are dry and all.” He said with a smile, sitting down, “I hope you don’t mind I gave her your address too.”

“I don’t.” I muttered, chewing on the straw for a second, “I didn’t think you’d know my address.”

“Well,” Mingi flattened his hands on the surface of the table, “I’ve been to your house twice now. I think it’s only right I remember your address, doll.”

“Right,” I muttered, “you’ve been to my house.”

Mingi’s eyebrows furrowed, and I figured he didn’t like the tone of my voice. But before I could correct myself and explain that I had nothing against that, he spoke up, “Y/N, I—I didn’t mean to scare you or—I don’t know—make you think that I want anything from you. I mean—we are friends, and I respect you as a woman and as a friend, and I know we almost—kissed. But I—I don’t want you to think that I’m playing some sort of game with you to get—to get in your pants. I’m your friend. And even if I wasn’t, I still wouldn’t do that to you.”

Hearing him say all that felt wrong. I didn’t deserve any explanation from him. I was the one that’s overreacted that day, and Mingi was the one that deserved an explanation and apology from me for the way I have acted. I knew I couldn’t completely open up to him right now, that some parts of the truth had to be omitted today, but he also deserved to know why I had pulled back. And I wanted him to understand that it wasn’t his fault for the way I reacted to everything.

“Mingi,” I offered him a small smile and gripped my empty glass for some support, “If you think you are the reason why I ignored you, please, stop thinking that. It’s—we both leaned in, okay? We were both about to kiss each other, it’s not like you initiated it or forced me to do something I didn’t want to. And nothing even happened, for God’s sake. I reacted that way because I—”

When I paused, Mingi’s eyebrows furrowed, and he leaned over the table, gently poking my hand with his ring clad fore-finger, “You don’t have to tell me anything if you’re not comfortable sharing it, Y/N.”

“But I want you to know this, Mingi.” I averted my eyes and took a deep breath, embracing myself for what I was about to tell him, “I had a boyfriend back in high-school who completely broke my heart, shattered it into pieces. And I know that happened a long time ago, and yes, I am over him, but I—I am scared people will treat me like he had treated me. I’m scared that if I let you close, you’ll just—leave. Like he did. And I know ignoring you for days was very shitty of me and I shouldn’t have done that—because quite frankly, Mingi, you deserve better—I just didn’t know what to do. I needed a few days to myself, to figure things out. It’s a bad excuse, but it’s the truth, and I think you deserve to know it. Since we are friends.”

Mingi’s face conveyed no emotion for a few seconds and I gulped, feeling nervous all of a sudden. Did he figure it out now? That I was talking about Yunho? That maybe I have started feeling something for him too, for Mingi? Would he stand up and leave? But to my surprise, a wide smile stretched onto his lips and he hummed, adjusting his glasses on his nose.

“Thank you for trusting me, it means a lot that you told me all that.” I bit my bottom lip, looking down at the table abashedly, “And I was never mad at you for ignoring me. I completely understand you, Y/N, and for the record, I have zero intentions of leaving you. And your ex is a fucking asshole for breaking your heart like that, tell me who he is and I’ll beat him up when I cross paths with him.”

There was nothing funny about what Mingi had said, especially since he was talking about his best friend, but the comically tough look on his face made me snort loudly as I shielded my mouth with my hand, trying to stop myself from laughing too loudly. Mingi started grinning like an idiot, his giggles deep, and making something coil in my stomach. When has Song Mingi become adorable instead of annoying?

“I doubt you’d want to kick his ass once you find out who he is…” I grimaced once that was out of my mouth, regretting it instantly. What was it about today that I couldn’t keep my thoughts and mouth in check? It was turning really frustrating.

“So, you plan on telling me one day?” Mingi wriggled his eyebrows, making me snort, “Like real besties gossiping and shit.”

“You never fail to make me cringe when you call us besties, Mingi.” I shook my head, taking a glance at my wrist watch. Oh, the time had flown away, it was well past five now, and the sun was going down. I’d probably have to head home soon to have dinner with my mother. I was becoming hungry too.

“Well, that’s what we are so…” He cleared his throat before slowly standing up, making me look up at him, “Did you know today we’re celebrating the Festival of Light?”

“Nope, I had no idea.” I shook my head, standing up too as Mingi wore his coat, “I don’t follow the events our city organizes.”

“Pity, it’s really pretty.” Mingi pouted, waiting for me as I grabbed my tote bag and pocketed my phone, “Should we check it out?”

“I mean…maybe?” I shrugged and Mingi beckoned me over as he crossed his arm with mine, making me chuckle as I looked up at him. He wasn’t much taller than me, but his sneakers had a thick sole and they made him even taller, “Where is this festival held at?”

“Just down the street, at the Citadel.” Mingi smiled as he led the way out of the café, waving at the barista as she blushed again, making me chuckle as I subconsciously nuzzled up against Mingi’s side, the air chilly as the sun had set by now.

“That barista totally has a crush on you.” I found myself saying as we walked down the sidewalk, trying to avoid crashing into the people that came towards us. Yeah, there certainly was an event on-going in the city, otherwise you wouldn’t see so many people out and about around this time. Everyone preferred staying inside after the sun had set, not keen of the cold nights.

“You think so?” Mingi mused, bottom lip jutting out as he narrowly avoided a child that was running around, “I didn’t notice.”

“You must be really dense then.” I snorted, eyebrows furrowing as I looked up at him, “She was constantly blushing, and she was totally looking at you with hearts in her eyes.”

“How do you know when someone is looking at you with heart eyes?” Mingi’s question threw me off, and I detached myself from his side, clearing my throat as I looked ahead, pushing my hands in my pockets. He was warm, it made me realize as the cold bit at my skin now that I wasn’t nuzzled up by his side anymore.

“Well, they have this look in their eyes, you know? It’s warm, and soft, and it lasts.” I explained, feelings my cheeks heat up, “And their eyes always linger on you when you aren’t watching them. It’s like…puppy eyes, I suppose? I wouldn’t actually know, Mingi, nobody’s ever looked at me like that.”

When there was no response, I looked back to find Mingi looking at me intensely. My eyebrows furrowed as we have arrived to the Citadel, the gates open for the visitors of the festival. The place was packed, this wouldn’t be so fun anymore. I would’ve turned around and walked back home if I didn’t see how excited Mingi was when I agreed to come check it out.

“There’s lots of people here.” Mingi muttered, and then walked closer to me as I led the way inside, a little baffled by his reaction to my answer. I just merely gave an answer based on my beliefs. It was him that was acting weird now. But as I looked at him, I could see it in his eyes that he didn’t want to talk about this topic anymore, that he wanted us to drop the subject. His last comment was a way to veer the conversation in a different direction. What was it about us today making everything weird? I sighed and just walked further inside, trying to avoid the big crowd which seemed almost impossible as it stretched on and on. The Citadel, however, was beautiful as it was coated in darkness, only the little paper lamps and fairy lights illuminating the place. It had a certain aura to it, almost romantic, and I soon found myself smiling as we walked down the cobblestone path, still trying to avoid people and stick close to each other’s sides. The air was chilly but the walls of the Citadel did a great job at keeping the breeze out, and the crowd certainly kept the place warmer than it was outside the stone walls.

I found myself admiring the décor in wonder, my mouth hanging open as I took in all the little lamps placed down on the ground, following the cobblestone paths, illuminating our way. It was truly beautiful, it almost felt like the scene was taken out of a fairytale. I found myself filled with excitement and happiness as I turned to grin at Mingi.

“This is so beautiful!” I giggled, absentmindedly grabbing the sleeve of his coat and dragging him away from the path and into the dying grass as there was a panel covered with paper, and people were writing on it. Mingi remained silent, but as I searched around for a pen or pencil, I felt him watching me, “What, do you not want to write something?”

“If you manage to find a marker or pen, I will, sure.” He said with a shrug, adjusting the strap of his tote bag before he pushed his hands deep in his pockets. I chuckled and looked around for a marker, but it was hard to see it in the darkness whether they were laying around in the grass or not. To my surprise, a little girl standing next to me looked up at me with a small smile on her lips, and offered me her purple-coloured marker, saying she was done with her drawing. I thanked her with a chuckle and turned to face Mingi with a grin.

“I found one!” Mingi chuckled and took the marker from my hands, being able to reach high up where the paper was still empty, due to his height. The panel was illuminated from the inside so you could actually see what was written on the paper. I watched him as he wrote on the paper, hesitating for a second, before he stepped back and handed me the marker. I raised up on my tip toes curiously, and craned my neck to see what he’s written. ‘The moon is beautiful tonight.’

I felt a smile spread onto my lips as I looked back at Mingi, who’s expression was serious and almost sad-looking as he adjusted his glasses on the bridge of his tall nose. I craned my neck back once more to gaze at the dark sky, at the moon, and indeed, there she was, beautiful and shining brightly. It was a new moon. Taking a swift glance at Mingi, I raised back on my tip toes and stood close to the panel, reaching up, just underneath Mingi’s writing. Thankfully, I could reach just bellow it, and I grinned as I quickly drew a new moon, adding a little shading to it and dents as well, creating the illusion of a real moon. Mingi remained silent as I took a step back, admiring our work. I handed the marker to another child as I fished my phone out of my pocket and snapped a picture quickly of our artwork.

“The moon turned out beautifully.” Mingi commented once we had stepped away from the panel to let others draw too, headed back onto the cobblestone path.

“Still, it’s not as beautiful as the real one, but I tried my best.” I chuckled as I crossed my arms in front of my chest for a second, avoiding a man as he wasn’t looking in front of himself as he raced down the path. Mingi threw him a displeased look before looking down at me.

“Your drawings and paintings are always beautiful, Y/N.” Mingi said and I found myself blushing, thankful that it was so dark he wouldn’t be able to see it. I uncrossed my arms and turned my body a little to face him. There was music coming from one path, the one which led to the southern part of the Citadel.

“Are you nervous about Friday?” I found myself asking him as Mingi veered us towards where the music was coming from. He looked at me for a second, and then shook his head.

“I’m rarely nervous when we have to perform.” He said nonchalantly, the back of his hand brushing lightly against mine. My heart did a somersault against my ribcage, but I ignored it.

“Oh, you’re such a cool guy.” I teased him with narrowed eyes, making Mingi chuckle.

“I rarely get nervous, to be honest, even less when it comes to performing.” He hummed, looking up at the dark sky for a second, “I trust myself and my bandmates that everything will go well, so, there’s no actual reason to feel nervous.”

“But I’ll be there on Friday, that still doesn’t make you feel nervous?” My question was meant to be teasing, part of our playful banter, but the way Mingi gulped and quickly averted his eyes told me that perhaps I hit the nail spot-on. Well, now I have turned things awkward again. I sighed loudly, chewing on my bottom lip as Mingi remained silent, the two of us walking down the narrow path as the music became louder as we were nearing the stage. Jazz music was playing, the lady who was singing had a powerful and smooth voice that carried over the crowd neatly. There were a few people dancing in the crowd.

“Perhaps having you there will make me nervous.” Mingi’s voice was barely above a whisper and I tensed when I felt his pinkie brush against my own, making me clench my hand into a fist. But a very quiet voice inside my head demanded me to accept Mingi’s subtle request, and willing my heart to stop hammering so hard in my chest, I relaxed my hand and slowly slipped it into Mingi’s. If he stopped walking for a milli-second, I didn’t say anything about it, and he also ignored it. His grip turned firm as he intertwined our fingers together, gently pulling me closer into his side as he smiled at a mother who apologised for his son almost running into us.

I gulped and kept my eyes ahead of me, too nervous to look at Mingi. Holding his hand like this meant nothing in particular, but it was a nice feeling. It made my cheeks warms and heart race. And I didn’t have to look at Mingi to know he was smiling like crazy, his cheeks just as red as mine as we came to a stop behind the dancing people.

Have I started falling for Song Mingi?

『It's you, ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh

I'm just saying it's you, ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh

You, ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh

You're what I've been chasing

Show me where my days went』

❱❱ Next chapter

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❀ complete the forms if you're interested! ^^

so...the festival of light scene was totally inspired by me and my bestie attending it in our city lol; it was sooo beautiful and the pictures in the moodboard were actually taken by us; also, her and I kept laughing about the romantic vibes we were getting, all in all, we had a nice time...and OFC we make everything about Ateez so :))

I wrote that LOL I'm like Mingi, tall enough to reach the top where people haven't scribbled onto yet lol

also, this is what y/n's outfit looks like for anyone wondering, except for the colors as they are the way I have described them in the scene ^^

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rainbowpufflez · 1 month

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Bo got one singular note on his last post so here’s Gus and Lys’s breakup scenario he randomly wrote one day

It’s not like Augustine and Lysandre hadn’t had squabbles before. Little things tend to build up in relationships and sometimes things bother someone more than they usually would. But this was the first fight where things got heated. Where something was, different.

Augustine doesn’t remember how it started, what he must’ve said that caused Lysandre’s mood to shift. He remembers watching Lysandre’s muscles stiffen and his gaze go distant, brows furrowing down along with it. He remembers Lysandre making a snide remark, something that implied that Augustine was beneath him. And so it started.

Soon they were both yelling. While they both had issues communicating to each other what they needed, it had never gotten this bad before. They always found a way to calm themselves before exploding. However, they were past that point this time.

Words fell to the floor and meant nothing. Time seemed to stretch on for thousands of years between them. A never ending battle, where Augustine bared his horns in a defensive state and Lysandre squawking out shrilled calls in attempt of explanation.

“You don’t understand!”

Augustine remembers Lysandre choked out. When had they both started crying?

“Oh and how do I not understand?! Have I not been understanding?! Have I not loved you with all my heart and soul?!”

He replied with a harsh gesture back at himself. It felt like there was a ticking time bomb between them and it was on its last second.

Then it slipped out.

“Because I’d KILL for you Augustine. Because I’d DIE for you.”

The room went still.

Before Augustine even could process what was said, he shouted back.

“I NEVER asked you to do that.”

Lysandre took a step back, it seemed he realized what he said as his muscles stiffened again. And Augustine’s response only made it worse. He coiled into himself.

“Augustine, I-“

“Get out.”

He didn’t expect that response. He moved, still stiff. His talons were no longer ready for attack, instead they were opened palm out. A last attempt at solace.

“Augustine please I didn’t mean that—“

“I said get out.”

Augustine was still on defense. His hooves dug into the floor as he stood firm. He didn’t look at his counterpart. He just waited.

“Alright.” Lysandre eventually responded when he realized that it was futile to work it out now. “I’ll leave.”

There was a small shuffle, a collection of things. A bag, his keys, his coat. No words were spoken between the two as he made his way to the door.

As Lysandre reached the door he turned to face Augustine one last time. “Gus… I… I love—“

“Out.”

And so that was that. Lysandre’s brows furrowed down again at his words, not able to hide a bitter, hateful look. He gave a firm nod then swung open the door and left.

Augustine was left in silence in the middle of the room, holding himself in an attempt to not break down. But instead of mustering up any last remaining tears, or truly processing what Lysandre had said, he just felt a wave of exhaustion overcome him.

He found himself falling back on the couch, gripping at a throw pillow with a gaudy checkered design. A design Lysandre hated but he loved.

His energy drained, he found his eyes closing. And with the last remaining energy he wondered.

Had he always been that way?

#come get ur angst PerfWorldshippers #that’s why I’m here anyway /hj #I’m not too confident in my writing ability but yknow I hope yall like it!#idk how to tag this tho #Bo describes them like the legendaries cause it’s funnieee #uh-oh they’re breaking up (they need to)#Lowkey was inspired off of a song I have on their playlist #Boooo Lys ur soooo dramatic /aff #get these French people outta my brain #/j #professor sycamore #lysandre pokemon #perfectworldshipping #writing #one day I will have art again #rainbowpufflez writing #ig I’ll make a writing tag in the off chance I ever post more of my writing

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pinkhoodi · 2 months

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this color, no this color !

✎ᝰ — spider crew help y/n dye their hair !

♡⃕ — 1610!miles, miguel, gwen, hobie x black!reader

♡⃕ — genre + warnings: fluff + no warnings

♡⃕ — a/n: we are so back with atsv !

꒰ HOBIE BROWN ꒱

Ꮺ dying your hair with hobbie was a…mess. don’t get me wrong it was fun as both of you can make it but overall a mess

Ꮺ hobie introduced the idea of dying your hair to you actually. though when it came to the colors, he was indecisive just as much as you were so you two went to the beauty supply store and picked whatever color looks cool enough on you. I would say that you and hobie either picked polar opposite colors (you picked autumn colors meanwhile he went for a neon scheme) or picked something of similar color schemes, no in between

Ꮺ thankfully hobie knew how to deal with detangling and setting your hair up for the hair dye. he was very careful with the detangle cause he knows how tender-headed you can get. also before the putting the dye, he would consistently ask you if you really wanna go with this color and gave in when you threatened him

Ꮺ hobie would try to dye your hair in a more artistic way or something he knows suit your aesthetics. if you don’t have an aesthetic, he would def go off vibes and what kind of aura you carry around. but at the same time, he’ll ask you for some inspirations of how you want your hair to colored

Ꮺ during the process, he would have a reality show or his playlist playing in the background. sometimes he’ll hum a new song that’s in the works or tell you the progress his band is making

Ꮺ ngl, hobie can get a bit rude when dying your hair. only cause he wants this to come out exactly how you want it, not cause you can’t stay still….trust me !

Ꮺ in the end, hobie is complimenting tf out of your new result. he would smother you in compliments and think it’s one of the best pieces of work that he has done, no doubt

꒰ 1610!MILES MORALES ꒱

Ꮺ listen…he’s clueless just as much as you are. in his defense, it was your idea to do something spotaneus to your look and why not dye your hair? did he think you were crazy? …maybe ! but it ended being so much fun

Ꮺ miles have thought about dying his own hair before but having both parents be poc…yeah he knew better. not only that, but it’s already bad enough that he sneaks out for his spiderman duties, he do nawt need to make it worse with a new hair color

Ꮺ but for you, he is more than willing to help you dye hair. he just hopes that you have permission and you’re not sneaking out to do this. other than that, he is happily walking around the beauty supply store like a kid in a candy store while you’re looking for the hair dye. he’ll often come up to you and ask if you need this pomade or need this sort of gel

Ꮺ the night before miles did some research and called you to consult on what you need. he would screen share to show his pinterest board of color inspo (he’s lowkey a pinterest feen but that’s for another time), especially with your hair type. most of the phone call would be “okay but what about this?” “are you sure?” “so you’re telling me you’re not going with this?” miles just say you wanna dye YOUR hair like that…

Ꮺ but the experience was more than fun. you two’s favorite show was playing, he was telling you about his latest spiderman adventures, he’s rambling about any and everything he could think of. sometimes it would be silent when miles is fully focused or he’s asking questions to see if he’s doing it right

Ꮺ mile’s is your biggest cheerleader after it’s all over. after he takes a massive sigh and stretches his body, sometimes he forgets how tiring natural hair can take, even though he’s natural himself

꒰ GWEN STACY ꒱

Ꮺ just as bad as miles and maybe worse since she’s not familiar with your hair type. yes, she has dyed her hair before (more than likely multiple times) but she doesn’t wanna give you chemical damage or end up having you balding. which leads to her doing intensive research of what colors you should try, which box dye to buy, and how to apply the dye to your hair. listen, it was her and youtube for about five hours

Ꮺ she would be a tad bit hesitant when you asked her if she wanna helps you. she made sure that you asked her and not hobie who might be a better help than she could ever be. you reassure her that it won’t be as scary as she’s making it to be

Ꮺ now when it comes to buying the hair, please hold her hand while yall in the beauty supply store. it’s not that she’ll wander off but she is def intimidated being in there. she has a face of confusion on her as she browses on the products laid on the shelf. also asking questions on why you refuse to buy the lesser priced box dye. oh gwen baby…

Ꮺ gwen would offer to buy your stuff :). she learned how pricey it is to buy hair products from your many rants of having natural hair, so she’ll offer to pay half or at least a good amount

Ꮺ throughout the process, you guide gwen how to detangle and part your hair. she’s taking her precious time and going slow until she has enough confidence to speed herself up

Ꮺ all throughout, she would throw compliments and how she’s excited but very nervous on how the results will be. any result that would come, she know you’ll look good :)

꒰ MIGUEL O’HARA ꒱

Ꮺ now of all people you could ask…jk jk. when you asked, the man heavily side eye you and thought you were going through a phase. like no miguel, i just wanna change my look. he’ll ask if you’re sure that you wanna dye your hair or what’s wrong with the color you have now

Ꮺ but at the same time, he does accept the offer to help you cause who is he to deny some quality time? ngl, he lowkey became more excited to do this more than you were but he would never admit to it

Ꮺ miguel, as well, doing intensive research on what products works best for your hair type. he even offered paying for the more pricey dyes until you assured him that not all twenty-dollar box dyes works the best for natural hair. one day he’ll realize that for all hair care…one day

Ꮺ while shopping for the products, he keeps an eye on you so you don’t go over the budget that he made sure you set in place. when you show him a product that you both know you don’t know, he’ll go into lecture mode until you motion him to stop talking and put the product down. ofc miguel pays for everything and he doesn’t wanna hear a ‘I’ll pay for it’ from you so it’s best to just accept

Ꮺ I would say he doesn’t really need guidance on how to handle your hair cause he’s helped with your hair plenty of times. but from time to time, he would ask if he’s hurting you or if the hair is soft enough to work with before beginning the dyeing process

Ꮺ while dying your hair, he would allow you to ramble on while he listens. he would let you take control of the entertainment aspect of the pastime, but you settled for music. also, while you’re on your rant, he would plant small kisses along the back of your neck <3

Ꮺ in the end, after the washing and drying, you don’t allow him to see the end result until you’ve seen it and settled with it. even if you’re not satisfied with the result, he kisses your forehead and tells you that he’ll help you fix it. beforehand, he’ll often say that you look beautiful with your new color

♡⃕ mia back in her atsv era 🧏🏽‍♀️?? please i miss writing for these niggas

♡⃕ lemme know who was your fave :p

𝐕𝐎𝐓𝐏 💗: 1 thessalonians 5:16-18

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crucifiedfaerie · 7 months

Text

Gods & Monsters ༉₊˚✧

GodOfDeath!Kylo Ren x Fem!Reader AU

(THIS IS A DARK!FIC PLEASE READ ALL WARNINGS AND THE AUTHORS NOTE BEFORE PROCEEDING !!!)

➴ Summary: Death has followed you like a shadow your entire life. After losing everything, you call out to him in a moment of desperation. Maybe that was his plan all along.

➴ Word Count: 2.2k

➴ Warnings: 18+ MDNI under any circumstances, DARK!FIC, fem!reader, dom!kylo, a lot of angst, BLOOD, major and minor character death, reader is suicidal, kylo is the god of death, kylo is obsessive, selfish, and manipulative, stalker!kylo, reader is naïve, a little soft!kylo bc he loves her but again he's selfish so should i really call it that ??, soul selling, SMUT (manipulation therefore DUB-CON, very rough sex, unprotected PiV sex, sadist!kylo for a second ??, naked sub/fully clothed dom, dacryphilia kind of, light bruising, blasphemy and sacrilege), typos probably

➴ Taglist: ( @enviedear @capitanostella @teapartydreams )

A/N: guys did i just lowkey write a snuff fic? maybe. (yes) its left up to you to decide if this has a happy ending or not. kylo is selfish and manipulative, yeah, but hes also sexy and in love so idek how to feel myself. @enviedear and i have been playing around with the idea of godofdeath!kylo in our dms so special thanks to liv my beloved <3 i hope you guys enjoy and i also completely understand if some of you aren't chill with the themes of this fic.

It appeared that death followed you wherever you went, trailing behind you like an invisible shadow you couldn't escape. It started when you were younger with any pet you would get mysteriously dying, you don't know when but at some point you had given up on trying to keep them. Friends and family followed suit over the years, all of them as tragic as the last one. It was as if Death was puppeteering your life, tugging on the strings that held your heart together... and you didn't quite understand why.

You couldn't seem to remember what it was you'd been thinking about on your walk home. Maybe it was what your mother had decided to make for dinner. You stared at the pot still boiling in the eerily quiet kitchen. Or perhaps it was how you had promised your sister you'd play with her when you came home. Your eyes darted to the toys that had been carelessly scattered over the floor of your family's shared bungalow, noticing how a light mist of crimson coated them.

You tried to remember, but one singular word kept interrupting your thoughts. Blood. All you could smell... was blood.

You tried to scream but it was as if the air had been stolen from your lungs. All you could see was red. Red. Red everywhere. On the floors. On the walls. When you saw them, the shriek that escaped your heaving chest pierced the silence of your home, bouncing off the walls and ringing in your ears.

Your family was dead. Slaughtered and discarded on the floor as if they were simply livestock.

As you backed away, you nearly slipped in the puddle you realized you were standing in. The sticky, wet sound your shoes made as you moved was revolting and you felt acid burning at your throat. You stumbled into the living room, just barely making it to the soft carpet before falling to your knees. You heaved, but nothing happened, your empty stomach having nothing for your body to forcibly expel.

You collapsed to the floor, body wracked with sobs. You screamed and screamed until you thought your vocal cords might tear.

Gone. They're all gone.

You don't know how long it had been. Maybe hours, maybe days. You laid there, your screams subsided to sobs and you wanted nothing more than to be with them... No, you wanted to be them.

Why couldn't it have been me? Why my mother? Why my sister? Please, I just want to die. Please Please.

For what felt like an eternity, you silently begged for death. How ironic, you thought, that you begged for the thing that had taken everything from you. You had already dealt with plenty of loss to last you several lifetimes, and now you had lost the last two people you loved. There was no physical pain on this planet that would ever compare to what you felt now. You only wanted it to be over.

You saw something out of the corner of your eye. A tall, dark figure, lurking in the shadowy corner of the room. You looked up, attempting to blink the tears from your raw eyes, unable to make out any distinct features of the being that stood before you.

"You- Did you do this?!" You sobbed. "Did you k-kill my..." You couldn't even say it. If you said it out loud, that meant it was real.

The figure stepped forward, allowing light from the window to cast down upon him. Your teary eyes widened as you realized who this man... this being, was. The aquiline nose, dark locks, and scar that trailed down his cheek you'd recognize anywhere. Kylo Ren, the God of Death, stood before you. You had only heard of him in legends, but he was even more marvelous looking in person.

"I do not take. I only collect." Ren said firmly, yet a hint of compassion laced his words, making you feel... safe? In any other situation, you would have laughed at the idea of feeling safe around the literal personification of death itself, but you were in no mood for laughing. He continued. "I hear souls call out to me, and I answer."

"My family... who did this? Why wasn't I-" You choked out, weakly pointing to the adjacent room behind you. You began to sob again, feeling hot tears run down your face.

"Raiders..." Ren knelt on the floor in front of you, getting down to your level before continuing. "Sweet, mourning lamb, there's nothing you could have done. They went quickly, I made sure of that." He reached out a large hand to gingerly wipe the tears from your face, and you melted into the divine warmth of his fingers.

"Did you come b-back for me too? Please, I don't want to be here anymore- I can't do it without them, please! I'm nothing!" You begged him through sobs.

"Not to me." Ren sighed calmly, a sympathetic smile resting on his expression. "I do not answer the calls of souls whose time are not up... but you're different, special..." He trailed off, his voice still firm but sounding like he was was pondering something.

"I don't understand..." Your voice was just above a whisper.

Ren paused for a moment, the two of you sitting in silence as his dark eyes scanned yours. He held out his hand to you and finally spoke. "I want you to join me. Let it all die, let everything go, and I will give you what you so wish for."

Your eyes widened at his request, staring into his intense gaze. "Join you?" You croaked.

He nodded slightly. "Rule by my side, little lamb. I feel so drawn to you, I always have... And I know you've felt it too." His tone was soft, but there was a small shred of desperation there.

"And everyone I love? My family and friends?... Will I see them again?" You began to turn your head to look at the door to the kitchen, but a strong hand grabbed your chin at light speed, turning your head to look at him again.

"No- You're still... Holding on! Let go!" Ren raised his voice, startling you. He was inches from your face and his eyes were filled with pure panic, as if he were afraid you were changing your mind.

Memories of your family and friends played like a movie reel in your head. So many moments that you'd never get back. They were gone, and you'd never see them again. What's done is done and you had nothing now.

But as you stared into Ren's wild, dark eyes, you saw an offer being handed to you that you couldn't refuse. An option to never be alone again. To forget every detail of your life as it stands. To not feel the pain that laid so heavily on your heart and soul.

I understand.

You inhaled sharply before placing your shaking and much smaller hand in his. "I'll join you." You said it so quietly, you weren't sure if he had even heard it.

Ren certainly did, however, and within seconds he pounced, closing the gap between you. It was as if your words were an invitation he had been eagerly waiting for and his warm lips crashed into your cold, trembling ones. You felt every emotion at once coursing through your body, and you thought you might spontaneously combust at any moment.

The kiss of death.

He did not pull away though, he only continued to kiss you with more urgency. He pushed you backwards until your back was pressed against the plush carpet. When you touched him, he felt like he was made of marble. As if you needed any more emphasis on the fact that this was no human man that loomed over you.

Ren's large hands began to explore your body, his fingers running along your sides, causing a warm bolt of electricity to shoot through your core. You instinctually moaned against his mouth, and you felt him smirk.

He trailed his mouth down your neck, leaving red and purple marks, before pulling away to admire his work. "You already look so divine in this life... I can't begin to imagine what you'll look like in the next." Ren's voice was low, smooth, and his words dripped with honey. It elicited another moan from you, causing him to let out a dark chuckle.

At near light speed, he practically ripped your clothes off, pulling your shirt over your head first before making quick work of your pants and underwear. You were left naked and writhing on the floor as you watched him work at his belt, kneeling over you.

You couldn't help but think of how morally wrong this all was. This was no simple kiss of death... No, this was blasphemous. Sacrilegious in every sense of the word and you... loved it. You loved how your body betrayed you every chance it got, ignoring every single alarm bell that rang in the part of your brain that clutched onto what little was left of your sanity. It was exhilarating.

With quick fingers, Ren freed his cock from the confines of his pants, causing it to spring upwards. You marveled at him, wondering if maybe this was his weapon of choice. Maybe he would impale you on his dick and literally fuck you to death. You saw him smirk as if he had heard your thought. He most certainly did.

You watched, your body trembling, as he lined himself up with your entrance. Ren did not give you a moment to think before slamming himself into you, bottoming out within seconds. Your view of him was clouded by white-hot stars and he watched as your face contorted from the pain and pleasure of being split in two by him.

Ren's thrusts were erratic, unrelenting as he plowed into your cunt. His fingers dug into your hips, surely leaving bruises... not that it would matter tomorrow. You were completely cock drunk, under some divine spell he had surely cast over you. "Feels... s-s-so.... g-" You trailed off, lost in the violent pleasure he inflicted on your small frame.

He chuckled at your futile attempt to form a sentence. "Look at you, little lamb. Already coming undone at my hand. You want release so badly don't you?" His voice was full of compassion but his words were laced with darkness.

You knew it wasn't only your impending climax that he was referring to. You whined, your eyes welling with tears as you nodded frantically. "Please." You let out in a choked sob.

Ren let out a moan and angled his hips to thrust into you deeper, hitting your g-spot again and again with each erratic snap of his hips. He leaned down slowly, his hair tickling your cheek. "Then let go, sweet thing. Let everything go." He whispered in your ear.

You became putty in Ren's hands as you came, clenching around his cock as he continued to violently plow into you. His lips found yours and he kissed you with wild desperation. After a few more thrusts, he followed suit, bottoming out one last time and letting out a groan as he came deep inside of your cunt.

As you came down from your high, you watched hazily as he fumbled with something on the side of his belt. Ren looked down at you with adoration, and with a swift movement of his hand, you felt ice-cold metal pressed against your naked chest.

When you looked down, it took you a moment to process what had happened. Ren had impaled you through the chest with his lightsaber... yet you felt no pain. Only an intense warmth that radiated through every cell of your body.

Your eyes darted up to his face, illuminated in the crimson glow of his weapon. His expression was soft, attentive. You tried to speak but only a choked whine came out, the air having been stolen from your lungs by the fiery plasma that crackled inside of you.

Ren quickly brought his hand up to hold the side of your face, wiping stray tears and gently stroking your jaw with his thumb. You didn't even realize you had started crying again and you began to taste copper. "Shhh, don't be frightened my mourning lamb. It will all be over soon, just let go... Let go, and you will be mine forever..." His voice was deep but it had a sickeningly sweet quality to it.

You couldn't fully decipher what he was saying, so you focused on how nice he sounded instead. How merciful, you thought, for this voice to be the last one you'd ever hear on this mortal plane.

Your vision began to tunnel in on Ren's face. You thought you heard him call you his mourning lamb. What was it you were mourning again? You couldn't seem to remember what originally got you into this situation. You couldn't seem to remember anything. Anything besides Kylo Ren, that is.

"Finally... At last, you are mine."

The last thing you saw was the smile on his face. There was something... dark about it. His eyes were intense and he looked excited, as if he were finally getting something he'd been waiting ages for. Before you could dwell on it for too long though, everything went black.

#kylo ren #kylo ren x reader #kylo ren fanfic #star wars #starwars fanfic #star wars x reader #star wars sequel trilogy #the force awakens #the last jedi #the rise of skywalker #saint writes !#crucifiedfaerie #dark!fic #kylo ren dark!fic #god!kylo au #kylo ren au

126 notes · View notes

heartsfromia · 2 years

Text

balance — l. jihoon

pairing: non-idol! jihoon x reader

word count: 2,384

genre: fluff

warnings: jihoon gets drunk, so mentions of alcohol

author's notes: lowkey inspired by their alcohol live when jihoon had to take a shot to speak up about his feelings (i cry everytime) and thank you for 200 followers !! <3 glad you all enjoy my delusions in writing :D

"Do you have to go to work today?" You asked, opening the fridge to cook up breakfast. You glanced back at Jihoon, already dressed in a semi-formal outfit of a white button-up and grey dress-pants, his feet still hidden in his slippers.

"Yeah, I do," he answered, with a slight nod before walking in front of the mirror to brush his hair.

"Do you want breakfast?" You watched his eyes glance at you through the mirror, clearly debating on whether to prolong his stay in your apartment.

He only shook his head in response, uttering, "Soonyoung and I are going to grab something on the way." You nod in understanding, walking towards him as you noticed his unruly collar. You fixed his collar, occasionally glancing at his slightly reddened face from the close proximity of you two, before brushing off the non-existent dust on his shoulders.

"Good luck at work," you stated, pressing your lips against his cheek, which only caused him to stiffen for a second, still trying to get used to the displays of affection you've grown comfortable to give him. With an awkward cough, he sends you a quick smile, before waving and leaving out your door.

You couldn't help but giggle at how flustered he got. You and Jihoon had only begun officially dating three months ago, after spending the last two years of college together as just friends. It was on graduation day did he decide to confess his feelings for you, thinking that you didn't feel the same way and that you would never see each other ever again.

Safe to say, that was not true because now, you're dating.

The news was surprising to every single one of your mutual friends, mostly Soonyoung, as he was the middle-man that got the two of you to meet in the first place. You were his friend since freshman year, and Jihoon was his friend since high school. He was the most shocked when he spotted the two of you holding hands on one your dates, and he just so happened to be in the area.

He even gave you both the silent treatment because neither of you told him when it first happened, only getting over it when you invited bought him coffee.

Soonyoung openly expressed how he never expected you to be dating Jihoon. Granted, you were both complete opposites of each other. The dynamic that Soonyoung had used to describe the two of you was that you were "a ray of a sunshine, that even the sun would hide away in jealousy", and Jihoon was "a dark cloud, incapable of expressing anything other than anger". Jihoon definitely smacked Soonyoung after hearing that.

You knew your mutual friend was wrong; Jihoon isn't incapable of expressing his emotions, he simply has his own way of doing so, and that was evident with how he confessed to you. It wasn't extravagant; it was simple, but you couldn't help but fall for him because of its simplicity.

A playlist. He made you a playlist, filled with songs you've never listened to, but after reading into the lyrics of the full playlist, you immediately drove to Jihoon's place to tell him the feelings were mutual.

He had his doubts. Jihoon told you that night that you would be dating someone that has never experienced a relationship before. Of course, you didn't mind. You found it endearing how you were the first person in his life he would call his lover.

But, unfortunately, there came a few doubts after continuing onto a relationship with him.

You hated it, though, how you would unintentionally compare Jihoon to your exes. You knew Jihoon was learning how to love you openly, and be just as affectionate as you are, but he's just not used to it. He's not a shower when it comes to affection, but he's unsure on how to show that he truly cares about you either.

It's a mess—he thinks it's a mess how he loves you.

And sure enough, Soonyoung thinks so, too.

"You're red as a tomato," Soonyoung pointed out as soon as Jihoon slid into his car. His eyes glanced up at your apartment complex, "Then again, you spent the night with Y/N."

"Can you shut up and drive?" Jihoon grumbled, trying to regulate his breathing, his hand involuntarily raised up to where you had kissed him. Looking out the window, the corner of his lips rose a bit, his heart racing in his chest.

"Why did you spend the night at Y/N's again?"

"None of your business." What he told you was that his office was closer in distance to your apartment, and he thought that he'd be able to get to work faster by staying with you for the time being. His actual reason: he just wanted to spend more time with you.

"Come on," Soonyoung whined, Jihoon still adamant. "You've never even told me how you both got together, and that's frustrating for me as the middle-man of your relationship."

Jihoon couldn't help but stare at his friend in disbelief.

"Neither would've been friends if it wasn't for me and my stomachache." Jihoon couldn't help but chuckle, remembering how Soonyoung and left you and Jihoon alone for two hours because he was fighting for his life in the campus bathroom.

Of course Jihoon was a bit grateful for Soonyoung accidentally eating too much spicy food, but he'd never admit that. Jihoon wouldn't hear the end of it.

"You're happy, though, in the relationship?"

The question that Soonyoung had directed to the both of you. As the middle-man of your relationship, he feels responsible that you both are together now, and obviously, as a true friend, he wants both you and Jihoon to be happy, all whilst supporting your relationship.

He had asked you the same question last week, when you were gathered with a few other friends since you and Soonyoung were in the same college major. When he knew you both were out of earshot from everyone else, he dropped the question.

"Yeah, I am," you answered, sending him a reassuring smile. "It's a process, obviously, since this is his first relationship, but I'm okay with guiding him along."

"Do you ever doubt he loves you the way you love him?"

It took you a few minutes to process his question, letting it rake through your thoughts, every single memory you've made with Jihoon since establishing your relationship. You were hesitant, but you nodded, causing a glimpse of guilt pass through Soonyoung's eyes.

"Like I said, it's his first relationship, there are things that just going through life won't teach you unless you've been in a relationship before," you explained, "sure, there are times when I couldn't help but compare him to my exes, but that doesn't mean I'll end it because Jihoon isn't like my exes—because Jihoon isn't like my exes, is why I'm still with him.

"I am," Jihoon answers, his eyes focused on his phone, the morning traffic causing them both to stay put within the streets of Seoul. "I wouldn't have confessed if I knew I wouldn't be happy."

"But do you love Y/N?" This question got Jihoon to pause his game, turning to face Jihoon, a skeptical look obvious on his friend's face.

"Why do you ask that?"

"Because, Jihoon, if I'm being honest with you," he begins, leaning back in his chair, letting one hand grip the steering wheel lazily, "you don't look like you're in love."

Jihoon's brow rose, rolling his eyes at his friend's notion.

"I'm serious, you don't necessarily show that you love Y/N," he exclaims, "like, I could tell that Y/N likes you, loves you even." Jihoon couldn't help but agree with that statement. The obvious evidence of your genuine feelings being that of earlier, with the kiss on his cheek and fixing his collar.

"Do you know your love language, Jihoon?"

"What?"

"Love language, do you know yours?" Jihoon only shook his head. "Do you know Y/N's?"

Again, Jihoon shook his head. To him, you might have all love languages equally spread out within you.

Physical touch; you would greet him with a kiss on the cheek when you knew no one was looking, knowing he'd be too embarrassed to display any affection publicly. You would also reach out to hold his hand, or link your pinkies when walking together, as a sign to say you were right there beside him.

Acts of service; you knew Jihoon wasn't too keen on cooking, and he'd have a terrible habit of ordering in food when he's hungry, so you'd take it upon yourself to cook him breakfast and dinner, sometimes heading over to his place just to make sure he's eating well.

Words of affirmation; Jihoon openly expressed how he gets shy when hearing compliments, and confessing to you that you were the only one that would compliment over mundane things. Such as when he could detect the BPM of a song, or play a random instrument you hand him when you both visit a music store.

"Oh my gosh, you're so cool."

"Damn, I wish I could play a guitar as good as you do."

"You look really handsome today, Jihoon."

"Good luck today at work."

And these were just the ones that he'd discovered since dating you three months ago. He knew that you'd always make him feel loved, and he was learning on how to do the same for you. It was difficult though, he also knew that.

He wanted nothing more than to make you feel just as loved, or even more. You had grown to become his best friend and his lover, and maybe, a part of him believes it's a first love thing, but he's glad to have it be you.

But other than a first love, he wanted you to be his last.

He knows he has to change his ways; be more open with his feelings towards, state how much you mean to him, or else, he might risk losing you because he's so terrible at loving you.

Jihooon <3 i'll be home late the team wants to go out for dinner

You alrightt have fun <3

Jihooon <3 thank you

Jihoon eyed the chatroom for what felt like an eternity, before typing in and sending.

Your eyes practically bulged out of your head when you saw the additional message he had sent.

Jihooon <3 <3

The smile on your lips only grew wider, your cheeks heating up as you locked your screen, your eyes averting back to the movie you put on, but you weren't focused.

Slowly but surely, you thought. It was a process after all, relationships. They aren't easy to navigate if one person held onto the reigns with all their might, while the other sits on their partner's shoulders, riding on the wave of time. You knew he'd eventually start being comfortable with showing you affection, especially in his own way.

You never thought it would be very soon, though.

You found yourself waking up to the sound of gentle knocking on your door. Glancing at the time on your laptop, you saw that it was already half-past eleven and you had fallen asleep in the middle of your movie.

Groggily, you rose from your bed and headed to the front door, opening to find Jihoon there.

"Jihoon?" You rubbed at your eyes, finding him leaning against the wall across from your door, head hanging low as pink dusted his cheeks, eyes closed. You stood in front of him, reaching out to gently hold his face, patting his cheek gently. "Jihoon."

His eyes opened lazily, blinking a few times before finding your eyes. Immediately, he smiled down at you, slurring, "Y/N…" You scrunched your nose, smelling alcohol from him which only caused your brows to furrow.

"Come in, it's cold," you urged, pulling him into your apartment and letting him lie on your couch. "I'll make you some tea." He only nodded weakly, his eyes fluttering close again.

He must've drank, despite being the type to never do so. During outings with college friends, when alcohol was involved, Jihoon would always have anything but alcohol in his cup.

"How much did you drink?" you asked, helping him sit up from his position, offering the cup of warm tea.

He took a sip, smacking his lips a few times before answering, "Half a bottle, I think—I'm more of a lightweight, you know?"

"Really?" you chuckled. "Do you need anything?"

Jihoon placed the cup on the coffee table, shaking his head before reaching out, his arms snaking around your waist as he rests his face into your shoulders. "Stay here… with me."

You froze in his hold, surprised with his sudden action. A fond smile growing on your lips as you placed an arm around him, adjusting yourself so you were comfortably holding onto him, leaning your back against the arm of your couch.

"I'm sorry for not loving you enough, Y/N," Jihoon uttered, your chest tightening at his words. "And I'm sorry I need alcohol to have the courage to show you that I love you."

"Hey, don't say that," you mumbled, your fingers running through the nape of his neck. "You just have your own way of showing it, Jihoon."

He finally lifted his head, revealing his face as he leans his head on your shoulder, glassy eyes staring up at you. "But Soonyoung told me that you'd doubt that I love you as much as you love me…"

You rubbed the back of his head, eyes filled with adoration as you smiled down at him, finding his eyes fluttering close at your touch.

"You don't need to show affection the way that I do to you, to prove you love me, Jihoon," you assured him, "I think we balance each other out because I'm very frontal with my affection, and you're lowkey about it."

"Balance, hm?" You nodded, letting yourself sink into the couch until you were lying down beside Jihoon, his arms still around your waist as yours wrapped his shoulders.

As the two of you proceed to drift to sleep, you heard him utter softly before drifting to complete slumber. "I'm pretty sure you're my soulmate, Y/N."

"I'm sure you're mine, Jihoon."

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leonenjoyer69 · 1 month

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Invades your inbox

Hihihihi!!! I wanna ask, what are some songs that remind you of J+H :33??? ((/nf))

HELLO!! :33 THANK YOU FOR THIS ASK! THERE ARE SO MANY KVKSKVKSLC

OKAY, SO! First of all, *casually drops my J&H inspired playlist* all the songs I mention are on here, (WHICH ARE ALL SONGS THAT REMIND ME OF JEKYLL AND HYDE (all songs I've been recently obsessed with, someday ill go back in my liked songs lmao) AND SOME REASONS FOR SONGS ARE SUPER SPECIFIC, PLZ DON'T BULLY ME PEOPLE 🙏) so if you mayhaps wanna listen to any of the mentioned songs, they're there :3

BUT, ONTO THE SONGS AND REASONS!

Of course there's all the Will Wood songs from this list I did forever ago, but there are some other Will Wood songs I didn't put on there, like -Ish (which reminds me of Jekyll) and Cicada Days (which is literally University Lanyon and Jekyll)

Onto the various artists!

Pray To God For Your Mother by Dance Gavin Dance- BIG Jekyll song to me. "Dependent on the medicine to keep my colors vivid", " part of me wants to believe that I will not come apart at the seams, that I will learn from the cut when I bleed", "blame it all on the lamest dude, blame it all on the payments due", " didn't think id have to answer for the lies I told myself, at least not so soon" I MEAN CMON

Lights Out by Mindless Self Indulgence- for Hyde, the little adrenaline junkie.

Mr. Doctor Man by Palaye Royale- Jekyll energy, ofc. "Mr doctor man questions his hands, lost his mind, clinically fine, but he found a way to cope, needle in his throat"

Necromancin Dancin by Bear Ghost- Hyde, but instead of it being, ya know, the dead, it's him unleashing the nightmares on Jekyll. "Now we've found it, I'm astounded, every town will be surrounded by a throng of marchin' death, delicious the riches that glisten ahead!" Plus all the dancing references work bc he unleashed them at that party :3

Ghost Town -Revisited- by Trickle- Jekyll, once more. "So sick of this city's disguise, it glowing on the surface but it's drowning in lies", "Is there a reason that I'm wanting to hide when I look into the mirror just to see empty eyes?", "ghost that tried living a tired life, I'm haunted by the memories I buried inside"

Evelyn Evelyn by Evelyn Evelyn- Jekyll and Hyde, another one where basically all the lyrics are spot on lmao, but I will say I see the feminine voice as Jekyll and the Masculine one as Hyde :3

Turn The Lights Off by Tally Hall- Jekyll and Hyde

There's also a lot of Chonny Jash ones! Obviously The Ballad of Dr Jekyll and The Mr Hyde Jive, but also:

A Devil's Tricks- this one is literally just Jekyll and Hyde, idek what else to say lmao. Like, this dude sitting in lowkey self loathing while his mind tells him bad things? Not to mention the accuracy of the lyrics in general. Id list them, but then id just be pasting the whole song 💀

End the Dance- Lanyon and Rachel being the ones caring, and then switches to Jekyll. Once again don't really know what lyrics to throw in lmao

Banana Man- Jekyll and Hyde, with the whole banana thing being Jekyll becoming Hyde. "Forget all your morals and go with the flow, forget about the bad the good is all you know, and forget about the voice that's lying deep inside, the one that's screaming and screeching proclaiming wrong from right" "tomorrow morning on the plane, no banana makes you go insane. Floating back to busy town, no banana makes you want to frown"

Don't Take It Personally- EOUGHKEKOGKD another angsty Jekyll and Lanyon song.. "You can surrender your heart, but it won't be enough, don't take it personally I'm afraid of love" "if the drugs aren't in my system, then what the hell has blurred my vision?" "My wrist and my heart where you kissed pulled apart" "so just keep playing your part, and ill keep calling your bluff, don't take it personally when push comes to shove"

Push- Jekyll, ofc pushing all his friends away. "I see you trying to slowly turn your back on them, the shadow of who you were when back when you felt condemned"

I also have a bunch of other CCCC songs but idk how to explain why my mind thinks they fit, so I'm just gonna list them and idk, some might get brief explanations

Ruler of Everything- Jekyll trying to stop Hyde from going out, then Hyde literally ruining his life.

Dream (Outro to Calamity)- kinda specific to my little "Whole Jekyll" AU (as most of these are to some slight degree)

The Mind Electric- Hyde

Be Born- also Hyde

Light- Jekyll and Hyde

Good Day- Jekyll

Just Apathy- Jekyll, with Hyde as mind

Two Wuv- Jekyll

Greener- once again, Jekyll

Mucka Blucka- Jekyll and Hyde, (and my "Whole" Jekyll)

We're gonna Win- Jekyll and Hyde (except eventually getting along)

There's some on my playlist ik I didn't mention, but I think this should be good for now, LMAO, AGAIN THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE ASK GJSKKVKD ILY GUYS 🗣️🗣️🗣️

#my ramblings #tgs #jekyll and hyde #dr jekyll and mr hyde #will wood #chonny jash #music ramblings

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mur-art · 6 months

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A Calivada Essay in Song Lyrics

Lowkey inspired by @sleepdeprivedsimp234's song lyrics posts I decided to let my instincts win and put together a post full of song lyrics that are Calivada-coded to me. (Since the latest episode got me fully back on my Calivada bullshit. You could say they took a high-speed rail straight into my heart. )

The songs are roughly in order with how I picture the progression of their relationship. It starts with the early days of the Gold and Silver rushes and the Wild West, marked with periods of stormy and reckless whirlwind romance. Then it progresses into the early 20th century, with them growing apart, and yet together: Nevada finding his identity in casinos and sin, and California giving into the hedonism of Hollywood. Somewhere along the line, they became on-and-off again FWB, coming together when they're drunk, or lonely, or hopeless... or all of the above, locked in a frankly toxic and tumultuous co-dependent relationship. Not quite enemies, not quite lovers, definitely not friends... (or so they'll say).

Just... them. Anyway...

A bunch of these have been compiled from suggestions from various people over the past year-ish and some are just my shitty millennial taste in mid-2000s pop rock.

Link to actual playlist here

PART 1: "We're meant to be together like silver and gold"

California and Nevada meet for the first time. There's an immediate attraction to each other-- is it really love or is it simply a lust for the sparkle of silver and gold? Either way, it's a force of nature when they come together.

Silver and Gold- Parade of Lights (Cali's perspective)

Can you let me in if I take you home? / I'm never giving up 'cause I can't let go / I feel it in the air, feel it in my bones / We're meant to be together like silver and gold

Silver Stallion- The Highwaymen (Cali's perspective)

I'm gonna find me a reckless woman / Razor blades and dice in her eyes / Just a touch of sadness in her fingers / Thunder and lightning in her thighs

And we're gonna ride / We're gonna ride / Ride like the one eyed jack of diamonds with the devil close behind / We're gonna ride

Reckless Love- Bleachers (Nevada's perspective)

So give me a chance to remember / What I've given up to defend ya / I would burn my dreams away / Just to stand in the thankless shadows of your reckless love

gold rush- Taylor Swift (Nevada's perspective)

What must it be like / To grow up that beautiful? / With your hair falling into place like dominos / I see me padding 'cross your wooden floors / With my [49ers] t-shirt hanging from the door / At dinner parties / I call you out on your contrarian shit / And the coastal town We wandered 'round had never / Seen a love as pure as it / And then it fades into the gray of my day old tea / 'Cause you know it could never be

Stardust- MIKA (Nevada's perspective)

I could put a little stardust in your eyes / Put a little sunshine in your life / Give me a little hope that you'll feel the same And I wanna know if I'll see you again / See you again Funny how the time is rushing by / And all the little things we leave behind / But even then, in everything I do / Is a little bit of me, a little bit of you / When will I see you again?

Addict- Silva Hound (I think this is from Hazbin Hotel lmao) (Nevada's perspective)

So what if I misbehave? It's what everybody craves / You already know / So come if you're feeling brave / And fancy yourself a mate

You want it, I got it, see what you like? / We could have it all by the end of the night / Your money and power, my sinful delight / A hit of that heaven and hell, a hell of a high

PART 2: "We are brief summer lightning (we are sparks that spiral upwards in the darkness in the night)"

As they spend more time together, their affection for each other grows. They'll deny that they were ever in love, but the history between them doesn't lie.

Wild as You- Cody Johnson (Cali's perspective)

You're like wakin' in the morning by a mountain stream / You're like watchin' an eagle floating on the breeze / And as I listen to you dreaming by my side / I wish I could call you mine

But you belong where the four winds blow / Out where the untamed mustang roam / Like a sweet summer rain passin' through / Never seen anything wild as you

Hymn for the Weekend- Coldplay (Cali's perspective)

Oh, angel sent from up above / You know you make my world light up / When I was down, when I was hurt / You came to lift me up / Life is a drink and love's a drug / Oh, now I think I must be miles up / When I was a river, dried up / You came to rain a flood

Summer Lightning- Garnet Rogers (Nevada's perspective)

We are brief as summer lightning / We are swift as swallow's flight // We are sparks that spiral upward in the darkness in the night / We are frost upon a window / We won't pass this way again / In the end only love remains

Peaceful Easy Feeling- The Eagles (Cali's perspective)

I like the way your sparkling earrings lay against your skin so brown / I wanna sleep with you in the desert tonight / With a billion stars all around

Death Valley Queen- Flogging Molly (Nevada's perspective)

Death valley queen where have you been? / Since they crowned you in glory / Filled your head with dreams / But it still goes to show in every desert / There's a rose that's bloomin' for all to be seen

House of Memories- Panic! At the Disco (Nevada's perspective)

Those thoughts of past lovers, they'll always haunt me / I wish I could believe you'd never wrong me / Then will you remember me in the same way as I remember you?

Baby, we built this house on memories / Take my picture now, shake it 'til you see it / And when your fantasies become your legacy Promise me a place / In your house of memories

Joy Ride- The Killers

(I showed enough restraint to wait until ALL THE WAY DOWN HERE to include a Killers song. Y'all should be proud /s )

It's gettin' close to sundown over the Sierra / Stranded on the heatwave, burnin' with desire / She was on the sidewalk, looking for a nightlife / We talked about the real things and drove into the fire

Headlights on the highway, the desert wind is howlin' / Rattlesnakes and romance are spillin' with the rain / Candy apple red dress, bleedin' when she kissed me / Heaven a ragtop, take away my pain

PART 3: "Just call me angel of the morning, angel..."

The relationship has lost its initial shine and turned tumultuous. Difference in personality emerge and disagreements become common. And yet, they still can't keep their hands off each other... maybe they both like the drama. They are both performers, after all...

The Way it Was- The Killers (Nevada's perspective)

I drove through the desert last night / I carried the weight of our last fight / Elvis singing "don't be cruel" / And I wonder if you feel it too / It's like we're going under

Somewhere outside the lonely Esmeralda county line / The question of my heart came to my mind

If I go on with you by my side / Can it be the way it was when we met? / Did you forget all about those golden nights?

Bend and Break- FM-84 feat. Ollie Wride (Cali's perspective)

Leave your reason at the door / 'Cause the writing's on the wall / The sunshine's gone / Maybe it's too soon to call / But we've both been here before , so I'm waiting on

No our music it ain't done, 'cause I found our revelry / In the highways and the dancehalls that filled our history

Angel of the Morning- Juice Newton (Nevada's perspective)

There'll be no strings to bind your hands / Not if my love can't bind your heart / There's no need to take a stand / For it was I who chose to start / I see no need to take me home / I'm old enough to face the dawn

Just call me angel of the morning, angel / Just touch my cheek before you leave me, baby / Just call me angel of the morning, angel / Then slowly turn away from me

Body- Jordan Suaste (1st part- Cali's perspective; 2nd part- Nevada's perspective)

Body, let me see your body / Take off all your makeup and your clothes / Trust me, why don't you just trust me? / You're the only beauty, show me more

You're not a dime a dozen / Oh, your skin is golden / Let me show the whole damn world / You're one in a billion / The only thing you're missin' / Is some tape over that mouth

BABY SAID- Maneskin (Cali's perspective; Nevada is "baby")

Baby said "When you're talking, I go dead" "Shut your mouth, give me your head" (uh-uh-uh-uh) I know you really want to Baby said "Let me taste your silhouette" "You can talk between my legs" (uh-uh-uh-uh) I know you really want to

Faithless- The Airborne Toxic Event (Cali's perspective)

I wake up early my head ain't right / It's the fever dream of what we did last night / I flex my fingers and feel my age / Fifteen minutes till we take the stage / And I call you when I wake up drunk / My arms are cold and my head is sunk / They say the lights go up at ten PM / Just make sure you're okay by then

Neon Medusa- The Midnight (Either one tbh)

It's a highway, highway to the dark / And a neon medusa's got your heart / Sweet canyon lullabies, don't look straight into its eyes

Alone Together- Fall Out Boy (Both)

Cut me off, I lost my track / It's not my fault, I'm a maniac / It's not funny anymore, no it's not / My heart is like a stallion / They love it more when it's broken / Do you wanna feel beautiful, do you wanna? / I'm outside the door, invite me in / So we can go back and play pretend

and also

This is the road to ruin, and we're starting at the end

PART 4: "I only love you when I'm drunk"

Fast-forward to today (well, the past few decades, really), and they're THOSE TWO drama-Filled Frenemies With Benefits (although the benefits are debatable at this point).

Jilted Lovers and Broken Hearts- The Killers (Nevada's perspective)

Why did you roll your dice, show your cards? / Jilted lovers and broken hearts / You're out on the wind and I'm still waiting to be found

Yeah, will I ever win? / Only time will tell / You've gotta suffer to remember how well / That our ideals never really marched in time / That's the bottom line / Jilted lovers and broken hearts

Getting Even- White Lies (Cali's perspective)

If you're getting even, you're getting even / Trying to get even, better start believing / I can forgive and we can forget / Even after all this wrestling of conscience / I can forgive and we can forget / Even after all this love and other nonsense

Love You When I'm Drunk- MIKA (Both)

Don't get me wrong, last night I didn't change my mind / It was the drink, it was leaving me blind / And when I kissed you, it was such a big mistake / A couple drinks, that's the chance that I take

We All Get Lonely- The Wrecks feat. TOMI (Nevada's perspective)

You're so in love with self-destruction / You're bringing me down

Why'd you come over? / Are you sober? / Are you playing around?

You touch me gently / But it's empty / You should figure it out

Don't say, say you love me, need me / Until you've had your fun / Use me when you get lonely / We all get lonely / You're not the only one

FUCK ABOUT IT- Waterparks (Nevada's perspective)

I like you but I need some space / I like you kinda far away / It's not hard to kill a day lookin' at your face / I like you but I need some room / Been givin' me your attitude / It doesn't always stay that way / I hate the aftertaste

Ancient History- Set it Off (Both)

Damn, pick up the phone, I know I'm drunk again / And you, know my intentions 'cause it's two a.m. / It's fun and games until we both get hurt / We play with fire 'cause we like the way it burns / No use in patching up a sinking ship / This is the last time we do this, baby / This is the last time you taste my lips

I know, I know how to drive you wild / You know, you know how to make me smile / But I need you to be / My ancient history

I know, I know who you really are / You know, you know how to break my heart / But I need you to be / My ancient history

Walk Me Home- P!nk (California's perspective-- despite everything that's happened between them, he still goes to Nevada when he's hurt and lonely)

Walk me home in the dead of night / I can't be alone with all that's on my mind / So say you'll stay with me tonight / 'Cause there's so much wrong going on outside

Till It Shines- Bob Seger (Nevada's perspective; reflecting on California's loneliness)

Storm the walls around this prison / Leave the inmates, free the guards / Deal me up another future / From some brand new deck of cards

Take the chip off of my shoulder / Smooth out all the lines / Take me out among the rustling pines / 'Til it shines / Oh 'til it shines

Like an echo down a canyon / Never coming back as clear / Lately I just judge the distance / Not the words I hear

and this part:

See the rich man lost and lonely / Watch him as he dines / Sitting there just testing all the wines / 'Til it shines

AND OF COURSE...

Waking Up in Vegas- Katy Perry

I think this one speaks for itself, BUT...

Spare me your freakin' dirty looks / Now don't blame me / You want to cash out / And get the hell outta town / Don't be a baby / Remember what you told me

Shut up and put your money where your mouth is / That's what you get for waking up in Vegas / Get up and shake the glitter off your clothes now / That's what you get for waking up in Vegas

#i MAY have thought about this a bit...#these two always live rent-free in my head #wttt calivada #long post #song headcanons #wttt california #wttt nevada #mur headcanons #yeah i went a lil bit unhinged on my love for calivada #i can't help it #wttt #welcome to the table

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rabbitsrams · 10 months

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I just had the most diabolical soul crushing thought. So inexperienced schlatt & reader have finally worked their way up to doing the deed, and when they do it’s so soft and sweet, kisses everywhere, holding hands, talking eachother through it. CUDDLING DURING THE SEX TO FEEL CLOSE TO ONE ANOTHER.

oh anon... i love you. i love you dearly.

i already touched on this in my initial post but i'm so fucking glad to elaborate this is my favorite thing ever )):

nsfw under the cut, minors dni!! 18+ only.

so you don't really plan it out necessarily. you both know you want to go all the way but you're not sure if the other is ready. but schlatt really wants it with you so he goes as all out as he can.

making a spotify playlist for perfect songs for the night, taking you out to dinner (off campus) and just treating you like an absolute queen.

it's not ideal, he wishes he didn't have to take you back to his dorm room where his neighbors were the loudest, but he wants it to happen and will make it work.

his roommate is thankfully out with his own boyfriend (schlatt planned most with him so he knows not to go back in lol) so you have the room to yourself.

HE BOUGHT FUCKING. ROSE PETALS. (yes this man watched some of your favorite romcoms for inspiration. i want him so bad. im crying.)

"j, what is all this?"

"i wanted to make tonight special, 'cause your first time should be special."

"you're... you're ready?"

"yeah."

"me too."

then he's like wait and brings you back outside so he can attempt to carry you in. it doesn't really work, but you don't care. you're kissing him as soon as the door closes.

he's like wait lemme put on the playlist but you keep on kissing him so it's a struggle to get it on lmao.

HE TAKES YOUR CLOTHES OFF FOR YOU. THAT'S SO NEW BUT YOU ARE JUST SO CAPTIVATED CAUSE YOU WANTED THAT FOR A WHILE BUT WERE TOO SHY TO ASK. OMG.

AND THE WHOLE TIME HE'S MARVELING AT HOW BEAUTIFUL YOUR BODY IS.

"j, you've seen it all before, though."

"doesn't make it any less beautiful."

his hands are all over you when you both sit on the bed and make out some more. you just love kissing each other so much like ohhhhhh😭

you do some foreplay, lots of what you've done before, but it feels like the first time again. like that intimacy of sharing the moment together is just so special.

and as i said before, he's too caught up in the moment to realize he doesn't have condoms with him. he's panicking lowkey because he wanted everything to be perfect and now he messed this up and...

"j, i'm pretty sure the ra's have them. and if not, we can just run to the pharmacy or something."

"but i had this all planned out. i wanted it to be perfect-" you shut him up with a kiss.

"it is perfect."

he comes back from the ra's office with too many condoms. you're giggling at how they're all falling out of his arms and teasing the shit out of him.

"you could have gotten a few!"

"shut up." and he kisses you right after. oh fuck. that was really hot.

you both don't know how to put a condom on so he pulls up fucking WIKIHOW to do it. all while you're kissing down his neck to tease a bit.

a song you imagined playing during your first time starts right as he gets on top of you and you are just. in heaven. this is the perfect moment.

as i said before, he's really nervous about actually putting it in, you both know it might hurt or feel weird AND HE DOESN'T WANT TO HURT YOU OH MY GOD...

but you tell him you'll be okay. and he says you can stop any time if it hurts or if you're uncomfortable.

he takes your hand into his, assuring you you can squeeze it if it hurts or anything.

it is a little bit painful at first. it's different than his fingers, a lot more to take in, but he goes slow so you can get used to the feeling.

you do find yourself squeezing his hand a lot, not really from pain but from the new sensation of being stretched out further. but it actually feels really good.

his pace is a bit awkward and uneven when he starts moving, but once he gets used to it, oh my god?? and he just looks so pretty on top of you, his hair is sticking to his forehead, he's whimpering at how good you feel around him.

as i said before, he doesn't last very long. he finishes before you do and he's like oh no because he wanted you to finish as well. but you tell him it's fine and not to worry.

he's so cuddly )): like he's hugging you and kissing your neck apologizing that you couldn't get to finish but you reassure him that you can do it again later.

(later that night you do get to and it's really hot like it's your best orgasm yet. and he's so happy because HE made you come that hard. HE DID. AAAAAAAA)

#jschlatt x reader #jschlatt smut #jschlatt fanfiction #jschlatt imagine #jschlatt x y/n #jschlatt x you #schlatt x reader #schlatt smut #schlatt x you #schlatt imagine

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sol-draws-sometimes · 20 days

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shuffle your favorite playlist and post the first five songs that come up. then copy/paste this ask to your favorite mutuals <3

Me: Why don’t people send me asks

Also me: Takes weeks to respond cause I can’t answer a question normally

Okay here’s the thing, I don’t really listen to playlists and the only one I do is a shuffle playlist I have(tho I’m pretty proud of it). What I normally do is pick a song and go to radio, or go to my likes and press one of the genere thingys

However I think I’ll do 2 things, show off my shuffle playlist(since I actually do use it a lot), and then shuffle my liked songs NOT w/out any categories for full chaos. Actually I also have a shuffle playlist I did for Spanish music, but that one’s more recent and hasn’t gotten that much use so I won’t do the shuffle thingy.

Anyway this my oldies shuffle playlist:

It’s over a day’s worth of music, cause it’s meant to be shuffled(full disclosure started adding a shit ton of songs before the shuffle because I wanted to make sure it was accurate to my taste and there was a lot of music I added to my likes before making the playlist so they were missing(big chunks of abba,Fleetwood mac,queens, EWF, ELO, etc.) While the playlist is inspired by dad, and so is my taste in oldies music(actually a mix of him and my older sis), there’s stuff on there that I like that he doesn’t( stuff like Simon and Garfunkle and Elton John). It’s mostly 70s, but I’d say it’s 60s-80s. Also it’s English music, so no city pop or older hispanic music like Jeanette(most of my older spanish music is 90s anyway).

Anway these were the first 5 songs

1. At The Rainbows End- The Osmonds

2. Unercover Angel- Alan O’Day

3. Lady in Red- Chris Burgh

4. That’s All- Genesis

5. Wouldn’t it be Nice- Beach Boys

Also screenshotted 5 more and I think these are more indicative of my tastes in oldies(it’s missing a bit of my classic rock but it’s not like that’s what I listen to the most)

6. Roxanne- The Police

7. Oh Daddy- Fleetwood Mac

8. I’m Gonna Be(500 miles)- The Proclaimers (ngl got jumpscared with this one)

9. Wild Word- Ysuf/Cat Stevens

10. Fernando- Abba

Fun fact: Most of Rumors is on the playlist and the whole Xanadu Soundtrack is on there! I’d say may fav artists from the 70s would be ELO and ABBA, tho EWF was my fav band as a kid so that’s still nostalgic to me. Also Doobie Brothers are pretty good! Oh and Hall and Oats! On the more rock rock side of things, I’d say Aerosmith is the one know the most. Or Kansas, I think I like them more idk. I mostly listen to soft rock.

OKAY TIME FOR CHAOS SHUFFLE TIME

1. Sex w/ a Ghost—Teddy Hyde(I think this is more of my sister song?, tho it’s not bad song)

2. Esto les Digo— Kiney Lange, performed by Messiah College Concert Choir (yes this is a choir song)

3. Rata De Dos Patas—Paquita La Del Barrio

4. マイ・ボーイ(My Boy)- Lisa Ono (The title is Japanese but the song is in English)

5. Shun-ran— John (THIS IS IN JAPANESE, specifically vocaloid)

Bonus 6 incase 1 wasn’t me

6. L-O-V-E—Nat King Cole

Honestly, this is actually a good mix of the music I listen to, indie/soft, spanish, and j-pop, and oldies it’s just missing musical theater(also I listen to more early 2000s latino music). Also I don’t really listen to choir/classical music all the time but I do LOVE singing it so sometimes I will try to find new choir songs. Tbh, most playlist on Spotify lowkey suck and have very same-y repertoire, the best playlists I’ve found are Choir Classic-Spotify(a bit same-y but it is the classics™), Choir music that makes me crumb(great variety! I recommend this one the most), and I think Choir songs me that give me chills is also pretty good and it has more musical theater on it (THOUGH IT’S MISSING NORTE DAME).

Okay, I’m done yapping

#sol talks #my post #it me!#my asks #sorry polekands 😔😔😔

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hollowfaith · 2 months

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17. what was your first muse?

30. what are your favorite RP tropes to play? (angst, hurt-comfort, etc…)

38. what’s the best inspiration for your muse?

munday asks

17. what was your first muse?

dahlia hawthorne (ace attorney: trials and tribulations)

first few months playing as her was lowkey terrifying because i was just Some RP Newb in the group putting everyone down IC-ly left and right but maybe it set a precedent since here i am playing another a-hole who wow, puts everyone down :')

30. what are your favorite RP tropes to play? (angst, hurt-comfort, etc…)

answered here!

38. what’s the best inspiration for your muse?

i got tipped off into making character playlists so i have one for him too! unfortunately im running out of songs to put on it because i don't listen to enough english songs/artists djsfjdsfjf

otherwise i think "well-intentioned extremist." he's the type of guy who thinks he's 100% lawful good but he's more lawful neutral who leans into lawful evil territory when he gets jelly :9

#sunsage #𝔔𝔲𝔢𝔯𝔶 ࿐ answered #𝔒𝔱𝔦𝔲𝔪 𓄖 ooc

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soffpisces · 6 months

Text

enhypen as emo bands!!

heeseung- taking back sunday

i'm not super sure if the vibes are there, but just based off of the music he's recommended, it's obvious he doesn't listen to heavy/upbeat music. i can also see him enjoying angsty music every once in a while. sometimes he gives me "angsty teen recovering from a breakup with their first love" yk? "your lipstick, his collar, don't bother angel. i know exactly what goes on."

jay- the red jumpsuit apparatus

he strikes me as a lowkey romantic person. so when he's in the mood, i can definitely see him listening to them whilst looking dramatically out a window lmao! fuckk honestly this is just based on his vibes, i have no more input lol. "i'll be there for you through it all. even if saving you sends me to heaven." i'm crying it's so corny but so good, just like jay<3.

jake- we the kings

okay so... this is purely based on their song "check yes juilet" ; like don't they just give off the same vibes?? we the kings is also an emo staple but they're not known for being actually emo, yk. so, they go well because when i think of jake, i don't necessarily think of sad music. jake gives me "sneaking in your window at night" and just 2000s-teenage-romance-vibes in general. "they'll tear us apart if you give them the chance. don't sell your heart. don't say we're not meant to be. run baby, run, forever will be you and me".

sunghoon- black veil brides

okay, hear me out... i wouldn't have chosen bvb for sunghoon if not for "in the end". sunghoon strikes me as someone who really enjoys the classics. he's always choosing the old but good songs for karaoke, so i have a feeling he could bop to this. i feel like he would have some emo/metal classics in his workout playlist... "as you fade into the night, who will tell the story of your life?"

sunoo- paramore

it was lowkey difficult to think of a band for him, but alas, haley williams appears in my brain. honestly, if he's feeling a little angsty, he could totally enjoy their music. his voice would be so delicious covering their song "all i wanted". "it's not a walk in the park to love each other. but when our fingers interlock, can't deny, can't deny you're worth it."

jungown- fall out boy

the other day, i saw that jungwon recommended a green day song?? like hello?? so random. i considered the two but ended up going with fob simply because green day gives millennial-dad vibes. (don't get me wrong i love green day, but the energy is not there). my inspiration for this match is pretty similar to jake's. jungwon is just so teenage romance coded, so i think the two pair well with each other<3. "i'm just a notch in your bedpost, but you're just a line in a song."

ni-ki- escape the fate

okay, i was between putting etf or falling in reverse, but i figured most of falling in reverse's music is a little too goofy for ni-ki's vibe lol! and when i say etf, i mean ronnie's era specifically. imagining riki listening to them is making me want to cry; like the idea of the two of them is magical. but yea, this is honestly based purely on the vibes! i know niki has the heart of an emo;3. "how does it feel when your tears freeze when you cry? the blood in your veins is 20 below."

as you can probably tell, this is completely self-indulgent <3. i am desperately trying to make two worlds collide... i don't know if it's working or not, lol! tell me what you think!! emo engenes represent!!!

#enhypen #enhypen fic #enha imagines #jungwon #sunghoon #park sunghoon #park jongseong #heeseung #emo revival #2000s emo

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gayashelljatp · 9 months

Text

Jeremiah Fisher x Steven Conklin | Hush now, i know we're a little too fucked up to stay still, love

Tags: Drunken Shenanigans, One Shot, Flirting, Drunken Flirting, Underage Drinking, can be read as platonic or romantic, Jeremiah is responsible for the first time in his life, Steven is a drunk flirt, They kinda in love but kinda not, I was having fun writing this, Not Beta Read, Fluff, Short & Sweet.

Summary:

Steven has had a little too much to drink and Jeremiah is trying to get him to bed. Drunk shenanigans ensue. or Jeremiah and Steven drunk fic.

Content Rating: Teen and Up.

Wordcount: 1,076

READ THIS FIC ON AO3

Notes (Same as On AO3):

Hi, it's my first fic in this fandom! I'm really excited to share all of The Summer I Turned Pretty fics I've had in my vault. I'm Ace I write mostly for Julie and The Phantoms on this account. But I'm branching out posting and writing gay shit for other fandoms.

In honor of season 2 of The Summer I Turned Pretty being out!!! Here's a cute fic where typically, Jere is the drunk one, but I decided to be unique and reverse the roles of Jere and Steven.

This was made around Valentine's Day, so I felt the cute vibes. Here are the songs that inspired this fic: 'Everytime' by Ariana Grande, 'The Night Is Still Young,' and 'Lowkey' by Niki are the biggest influences in this fic. The title of the fic is from 'Lowkey' by Niki.

(Here’s a Spotify playlist of this fic)

Enjoy the fic & Remember to give feedback!!! It is always appreciated.

Extra Notes (Tumblr Exclusive):

Present me so this my fanfic that has done really well on AO3. So I decided to post it on my Tumblr first. I don't know how to use this platform very well so a little help could go a long way.

It was a normal summer night in the Fisher's beach house: the Conklin and Fisher teens were split: into two groups. Belly and Conrad are at the pool talking for hours. Meanwhile, Steven and Jeremiah, both boys, we're getting drunk off their asses. Both enjoy each other's company.

Jeremiah, who has been trying to blackout less, was holding his mojito in his hand, trying not to down it in a second. Meanwhile, the Asian teen in front of him was drinking that up like water.

“Okay, buddy, that's enough,” Jeremiah says sweetly before grabbing the bottle off the table trying to get it out of Steven's reach.

“Jere, give it back,” Steven pleads as he tries to snatch the bottle back from Jeremiah's grasp. Steven pulls out all the stops and grabs Jeremiah's waist trying to get him still. Steven's face was not not situated underneath Jeremiah's chest.

That action alone stopped Jeremiah in his tracks. Soon redness starts to creep into his face. It covers the tan face: of the blonde boy. If this couldn't get any worse for Jeremiah he decided to look down. He locked eyes with Steven smiling dumbly at him. His eyes pierced through Jeremiah's soul, and his lips were parted, showing a few of his teeth. It was the most beautiful sight he's seen.

Jeremiah stutters, not knowing what to do or say next. He's never seen Steven smile at him like that before, and it was doing something to him. “Steven, it's time to stop drinking and get you to bed,”

“No!” Steven exclaimed loudly. Clearly, the boy was intoxicated to the point that he lost control of his volume. “Jere, I don't want this night to end,” Steven begs. He soon gets off Jeremiah and then stumbles back down on the couch. He reaches for his phone and starts playing random dance-pop music.

Steven then clumsily gets up and starts dancing offbeat to the song. He flailed his arms and shook his hips; it looked like he was in pure euphoria. “Dance with me,” Steven invites Jeremiah with the most intoxicating smile.

Jeremiah couldn't deny the invite. Maybe dance a little, then tuck the guy into bed. He puts away the bottle. Jeremiah takes Steven's hand, and they start rocking out. They laughed as their bodies intertwined. Jeremiah tried to dance more to the beat of the song. but his drunk best friend was still dancing to the rhythm of his own beat. Jeremiah couldn't lie, he looked kinda cute.

A few songs later, Both of them were tired of dancing. Steven decided to sit down: on the floor. Jeremiah then plops down on the floor to join him.

“Okay, I think that's enough fun for you,”

“There's never enough fun for me. Jere, don't be a buzzkill, please,” Steven pleads in a whiny tone. Steven desperately tried to convince the blonde boy to stay with that frowning face. But it was time for Jeremiah: to be the responsible one for the first time in his life.

“Steven, I’m serious, you need to go to bed,” Jeremiah whispers, trying to soothe the teen as he grabs the other boy's hand. Maybe if he was gentle enough, he could get Steven in his bed before sunrise. But that was going to be a challenge.

“The night is still young,”

“Steven, it’s almost 2. That’s not very young,” Jeremiah playfully says both of them laugh in tandem “Besides, you have a shift in the afternoon, So, time to get your ass to bed,” Jeremiah added with a frustrated huff. Jeremiah hated being the responsible one, but for Steven, he will gladly be the buzzkill.

“I don’t care about my job right now,” Steven says, slurring a few words before announcing very loudly, “Come and catch me!” Steven ran out of the living room like a maniac entering the backyard.

Jeremiah had no choice but to start chasing after his drunk best friend “Steven, come back!” He exclaims loudly. Damn Steven was faster than Jeremiah expected, He guessed being lean did pay off for something.

Jeremiah chased after him all around the massive Fisher’s backyard. Steven the whole time was spewing out random words while running. Jeremiah trailed him all the way back to the living room.

“Thanks for the workout buddy,” The blonde let out breathlessly. Steven hasn’t acted this rowdy since the first time he got really wasted, But when that happened they had the whole summer gang to deal with him.

“Like that one song ‘The Scripts’ sang, ‘I'm not moving.,” The boy added as he crossed his arms and stayed sat down. Only a drunk Steven could reference a song from 2008.

“Okay, Mr. I don’t care about my job. You don’t care right now, but Laurel will kill me if she sees you wasted in the living room,”

“The only way you're getting me off this floor is if you drag me out of here, I’m not budging,” Steven challenges. He knew there was no way Jeremiah was gonna do anything. But much to Steven’s surprise: Jeremiah got up and did start dragging Steven against the hardwood floor.

Steven was making the loudest noises and groaning while being dragged by Jere, but that all stopped. Because all of a sudden, Jeremiah picked him up bridal style and carried him up: to his room. Jeremiah didn't want to manhandle his friend, but he knew that nothing was gonna happen if he didn’t do it.

Jeremiah plops his best friend onto the carpet and proceeds to: fix the bed for him to lie in. After Jeremiah: was done preparing the bed for him. Jere pats the bedsheet and watches as Steven clumsily climbs onto the bed.

He then tries to tuck Steven into bed. Then the other boy wraps his arms around him. “Steven this is nice but let go I'm trying to tuck you in,”

“Stay please,” Steven croaks out. He sounded really desperate. Jeremiah couldn't really deny his best friend.

“Good night Steven,” Jeremiah whispers before he turns around and kisses Steven on the cheek. He didn't know why he did it but it just felt right at that moment.

Steven's face warms up. His drunken state didn't help but he was very flustered by that but he manages to say “Good night Jeremiah,”

The blonde boy closes his eyes and accepts his fate. Jeremiah lets Steven be the big spoon and cuddles him to sleep.

Post Notes: Hope you enjoy the fic & Remember to give feedback!!! It is always appreciated. I don't know how to use tumblr hope I used it correctly.

#the summer i turned pretty #jeremiah fisher #conrad fisher #steven conklin #tsitp fanfic #team jeremiah #team conrad #steven x jeremiah #jeremiah x steven #jenny han #gavin casalegno #sean kaufman #fanfic #gay fanfiction #slash fanfiction #Spotify

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moondal514 · 1 year

Text

10 songs, 10 people

Thanks for the tag @mostlymaudlin <3

Uh idk exactly how to do this so I just went through my On Repeat Spotify playlist and picked out 10 songs (I used YouTube links here to be more inclusive 😂)

이브, 프시케 그리고 푸른 수염의 아내 (Eve, Psyche & The Bluebeard's wife) by Le Sserafim - I’ve had this song stuck in my head for a week help

꽃 (Flower) by Jisoo - I’ve also had this song stuck in my head for a week (but that’s because it lowkey inspired me to plot a new Andreil WIP lol)

We’ll Never Have Sex by Leith Ross - I love this song so much, both cuz it’s an asexual love song (happy pride month wheee) and cuz it’s soooo Andreil it’s insane

Through Me (The Flood) by Hozier - I’m so pumped for this new Hozier album to drop and I’ve been obsessed with all of the pre-releases so far, but this song is my fave of them

The Horse and the Infant from Epic: The Musical - these concept EP’s have become my entire personality irl

จริงเกิน (Surreal) by Jeff Satur - KinnPorsche kicked off my Jeff Satur phase back in February and I’m still living in it, so this is my fave of his songs by far and, like many Jeff Satur songs, it also gives KimChay vibes

All You Wanna Do from SIX - saw SIX live recently and it was like one of the best shows I’ve ever seen in my life, and this song is of course my favorite

Any Way The Wind Blows from Hadestown - this song might be important for my AFTG Big Bang fic but you didn’t hear that from me 🫢

True Crime by Epik High (ft. Miso) - this song gives me such strong Andreil vibes but I couldn’t tell you why

Take Me Back to Eden by Sleep Token - most recent song I listened to that made me insane with the Andreil vibes

Tagging:

@quensty @stabbyfoxandrew @jaywalkers @bisexualbard @decaflondonfog @makememakesense @amywaterwings @endoftheworldhere @halfpintpeach @alcego

#all I listen to is Kpop and musicals lol #moonie writes #moonie posting

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effrvsnt107 · 3 months

Note

I’m going to make a TenAmy playlist. You inspired me. Now do you have some really good song recs, pretty please?

Omg whatttt I’d be more than happy to!! I’ve already made one (their silly cannot be suppressed anon I’m glad you get it) these all have the sameish vibe so I hope you have a similar music taste/vibe of them. MAKE SURE YOU SEND IT TO ME WHEN YOU MADE IT!!

I saw this in a very good elevenamy playlist and since then I haven’t been able to stop myself from listening. It’s 2010s so it’s Amy’s vibe yk? It’s her period of music and it feels like it. “The stars are made of holograms.” “It was a lovetap for all we know.”

On a elevenamy playlist again, but it is also tenamy. They fall in love in stages her whole life. “He’d do the nappies” (use that as ten’s want to be human and lowkey want a family, melody pond and the fact he is a father) and “lots of people think [he’s] gay” and that’s cool because he is a little.

It’s not living if they aren’t with each other, yk? The only man who is even real to her is an alien who crashed into her garden at the age of 7. If he doesn’t have a companion he isn’t living because he longs to show the universe. Plus, if you view the hypothetical like I do, he has just condemned his whole species back into a time lock of self appointed ‘hell’ he is doing everything to seem chill and normal in front of her. But when you are him, you can’t be normal about that. And she likes that.

THEIR SONG. THIS IS THEIRS AND I WILL SCREAM. She’s got a boyfriend (fiancé or husband whatever) but he can fill his shoes. The Doctor vs a nurse, childhood dreams vs the adult explanations of her. Plus, they look quite alike if you squint and see them doing the same pose.

“You sit there in your heartache, waiting on some beautiful boy to save you from your old ways. You play forgiveness, watch out here he comes.

He doesn’t look a thing like Jesus, but he talks like a gentleman, like you imagined when you were young”

Not sure why, but I see it. Maybe it’s P!ATD that’s doing it because they’re very 2010s tumblr girl and as you can see, I dig that vibe for them. Maybe it’s the Vegas being associated with gambling and the whole these of the song being performance and they lyrics “we gotta be starting something, would you change it if you could?” And I’m just like. Them.

Maybe the instrumental is pushing me to say this, plus “you and I were made of glass, we’d never last”

Early 2000s song so it’s kinda him. She will be loved for him, he keeps dropping her off and he’s done it so many times but he still wants her and she still wants her raggedy doctor (who in the tenamy would that be his name? Not sure give me thoughts)

Amy is cool yk

Fun fact, listened to this is Tesco’s for the first time and I didn’t think about it again until tenamy. No idea if it’s about an affair or something else, it just feels them.

I haven’t gathered the e edgy tenamy songs that I’d imagine heartbreaking edits to just haven’t been discovered (except maybe Ghost of you by MCR) so unfortunately you don’t get the angst.

Those are my tenamy’s! I tried to stop myself from adding any Taylor Swift/Lana Del Rey/The Smiths because one i add one about 50 billion of their coke to mind. BUT THATS IT (for now) ILY TAKE CARE

#i hope you get the vibe #if you don’t like the music that’s ok #these are just my recs (with reasons as to why)#🍎

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levis-coffeecup · 1 year

Text

Chapter 19 | Tangled Threads

WC-6.3 k

Content/Warnings

canon- compliant, canon-typical violence, descriptions of PTSD, grief, depression, heavy angst and themes, strong language.

Author's note:

Hi guys,

Feels like I should stop making promises about when the next chapter will be out, because I always end up being late lol. But this time it was an internet issue I promise.

Also I don't know why I feel like there is a big para where the tense is different or the things just don't make sense. I've gone over that chapter once so hopefully its just me being anxious, and I haven't skipped past anything. (But if I have then please don't judge me and let me know lol).

This chapter was lowkey inspired by the song Phir Le Aya dil , so that's the song for this chapter. Also all the future songs for the chapters might be desi songs because being in New York only makes me feel more patriotic 🤡

Anyways thanks for tuning in, and I hope you find the chapter to your liking.

Chapters

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22

Masterlist | Playlist | Other Works

JAN 847

Ivan’s wedding is finally here. And Levi and Mae settle in a hotel in Mitras, taking a night’s rest, before attending the function tomorrow.

The room they stay in is small. Meant for one person only, but it was the only thing that fit their budget, in a city as expensive as Mitras.

There’s a desk and chair in the opposite corner, with a cupboard next to it. And their shared suitcase lays open on the floor, with a towel kept on top of it.

Mae has cozied up on the bed. Fresh from a bath.

The trip from Jinae to Mitras has been exhausting. Her legs are sore from sitting in that cramped cart for so long. It was filled with people and there was not a single woman inside, besides her.

And she’s so grateful that Levi was with her. Even though he probably has no interest in Ivan’s wedding whatsoever. He made her feel so safe and protected.

Levi walks fresh out of the shower. With a pair of trousers on, and the scent of his body wash steaming out of the bathroom.

Her face softens.

Fresh drops of water still drip down his lower back, and coils of wet hair stick to his skin. And his muscles flex as he bends down to pick his towel from the suitcase.

And Mae pines over him in silence. Almost smiling.

She’s going to spend the next 3 days with him. A part of her is so excited, because this is the first time she gets to spend so long with him. But a part of her also doesn’t want to bring her hopes too high, in case she ends up getting disappointing again.

Because her relationship with Levi has always been a rocky one. Often leading to more doubt than warmth..

He takes the towel off his shoulders, and starts to dry his hair. And Mae can only stare as desire ignites in her stomach.

She hasn’t pecked his cheek, ever since that day, when he dropped her off home. She’s even stopped casually touching his arm. And much to her disappointment, Levi hasn’t brought it up.

She wonders if he ever misses it. She wonders if he ever melts at her touch, just like she does.

And tonight, it's just the two of them, staying in this dimly lit room with this small bed that can only fit one person. She wonders if he’ll initiate something. He’s a man after all.

“Levi!“ She chimes, her smile welcoming and her eyes are warm. And she pats the spot on the bed, next to her, as she sweetly mutters, “will you sleep on the bed next to me?”

“You can take the bed,” he answers instantaneously, continuing to pat his hair dry, Not even pondering over her offer for a moment.

And just like always, she tries but he doesn’t bother. And just like always, she reaches a hand forth, only to see him take 2 steps backward.

It adds to her frustration, like fuel to fire. “And where will you sleep?” She asks exasperated.

And Levi pauses, sensing the tiniest shifts in her mood. He looks up at her, his lithe eyebrows, rumpled.

He never sleeps on the bed, not even in his quarters.

He sleeps on his desk chair instead, with his ODM gear sprawled on the desk, in a way that if the titan breaks through any moment, he can quickly put the gear on. And be ready for what is to come.

He sleeps on his desk chair, so that he can feel the tremors on the ground, if the titans ever do barge in.

Because Levi lives every moment with the uncertainty of whether he’ll make it to the next.

And even though they are in Mitras, the safest spot in the walls. He still can’t get himself to sleep on the bed.

Habits from his past catch up to him. Unseen, unexpected tragedies have always found him. They have made him fearful, and it's indeed this fear instilled deep within him that makes him competent as a soldier..

And then there’s Mae too. He knows her back hurts from sitting in the cart all day long. And he wants her to have a good rest, he wants her to have the entire bed.

It's one of the ways he expresses his love for her. By always keeping her needs above his.

“The chair is good enough for me,” He speaks with diligence. And Mae finds the sincerity in his voice suffocating. She almost wants to scoff, but she also doesn't want to start a fight, this late at night.

Only married couples who can’t stand each other sleep separately.

And she wistfully watches, as he puts the towel aside, his hair now dried. She notices the exhaustion in his eyes and the slight slouch of his shoulders.

She’s told him how necessary good sleep is, for a soldier like him. She’s told him how bad sleeping on the chair is for his posture and his health. And she also set up a whole routine for him to follow before bed. To help him with his insomnia.

But he probably doesn’t even care enough to remember it. Let alone follow it.

Everything in this relationship feels so one-sided, it's exhausting.

And defeated, she flops down on the bed. Pushing herself in the corner, just in case Levi changes his mind and wants to sleep on the bed as well.

Goodnight, she wants to say to him. But it feels futile.

Little does she know Levi looks so exhausted, because he’s stayed awake a couple nights, to complete all his work. So that he can make it here.

And when he looks over to her sleeping figure, his face softens.

She looks so adorable, huddled up in a fuzzy blanket with just her head sticking out. He can’t help but make his way towards her.

The desire of being closer to her seems both illogical yet unquenchable. But he doesn’t want to go overboard like he once did, he doesn’t want to get lost in the current of his feelings and do something he will regret. And most of all he doesn’t want to hurt her in any way.

Because he has never been good at anything gentle. He’s scared that he’ll touch her and she’ll shatter at the strength his hand holds. That someday he’ll touch her and she’ll disappear. Making all his fears come to fruition.

So his hands quake as they extend towards her cheek, as if she is a precious imagery that will distort the moment he touches her.

Erwin’s words still ring in his head loud and clear.

And he wonders if he’s being too selfish, by still keeping her around when he’ll never be able to provide her the type of life he wants her to live. He wonders if he’s being too cruel to her, when he knows that their story will end grimly either way.

And the end is surely near, with how things have been going the past couple of days.

Mae’s stopped pecking his cheek, she’s stopped her playful banter, and she’s stopped telling him random things about her day,

She’s already unhappier. And the decision to move the headquarters elsewhere has been made final.

She’ll end up leaving, disappointed by him. That’s what’s most probable now. And at this point Levi knows he’s so attached, that it's going to hurt twice as bad.

But still, he likes to think that he doesn’t regret his decision to be with her.

Because he doesn’t want to lose her just yet, even if he is meant to lose her somewhere along the way. He doesn’t want to go back to being 2 strangers at a bar, with a knotted past. Even though their time together is waning out.

One day, these fleeting memories are all he’ll have of her.

And so he decides that today, he’ll finally kiss her cheek too. He’s wanted to do it since forever. Ever since the day she first pecked him.

But he hardly had the courage to ask her for it when she’s wide awake. His shyness always got the best of him. But now she’s sleeping, peacefully like a baby.

And so he walks over to her, and gently scoops her into his arms. Placing her in the center of the bed. Perfectly tucking her in the blanket again.

And so he waits a little longer, admiring this moment and how peacefully she rests. And then he squats down.

And his lips hover over her cheek for a little while, before they finally land and kiss on it tenderly.

________________

The preparations for the wedding look elaborate.

A big field lays decorated, lush with green grass. Tables are lined up, covered with a silk tablecloth. And the chairs are decorated with white ruffles too. A red carpet is stretched out on the grass. And in the center, is the wedding altar. Its pillars, decorated with vines and flowers. And a delicate white net dangling from its top.

It's quite cold though, but nothing that the people of Mitras aren’t used to. The sky is relatively clear. And flurries of white clouds float around in the clear blues. Perfectly complimenting the white roses, used in the decorations.

Everything looks so heavenly, and Mae feels out of place when she sees it all.

A part of her finds it hard to believe that this could be her, getting married here instead. With such a fancy arrangement, and nobility as guests.

She wonders if she made the right choice that day. By picking Levi over everything else.

And Levi walks beside her, badgered with guilt as well.

He can see the way her eyes sparkle, dazed by all the luxury around her. This was the type of life Mae could have lived. The type of life he can never provide.

And guilt badgers in his gut once again. He feels like he has cheated her, given her too much false hope.

“Mae,” he lets out a sigh. Voice heavy and hesitant. “I need to tell you something.”

And he doesn’t know why he is bringing this up right now, at this wedding that they are supposed to enjoy. Maybe it's the remorse clawing inside him, and maybe it's the fact that he could possibly never make her this happy.

Silence stretches between them. It's almost been 3 months since they’ve started dating, and things seem to have mellowed down.

Mae doesn’t want to be needy, and Levi always wants to give her space. But hope still fills her eyes when she hears his voice. And his gaze softens, ever so subtly.

“Go ahead, Levi,” she mutters, a tad bit excited. It's one of the few times when Levi initiates something by himself. And she hopes it's something about the type of marriage they’d have.

“Erwin is thinking of moving the headquarters elsewhere.” Levi states with his usual nonchalance. It’s something he’s practiced a thousand times before the mirror now.

And the silence that unfolds is a stiff one.

Mae looks down at the ground, with a hard glare.

And Levi looks down as well, steepling his fingers. He can sense the shift in her mood. It's a mix of grieving, disappointment and frustration. And she likes to not be bothered when her mood is sour.

So he remains quiet, giving her the space to ponder. Plus he doesn’t really know what to say to make things better. He knows he’s a pain in the ass. He knows there isn't much he can provide for her, in comparison to Ivan .

And he also knows their future isn’t too bright. It’s something he’d guessed from the start.He just hopes she doesn’t regret being with him, for whatever time their destiny allowed.

And Mae feels a heaviness settle in her heart.

She’s always longing for him. Longing to talk to him. Longing to spend more time with him. Longing that somewhere, his hand will find hers, and lead her to someplace better. And he’s always withdrawing from her. Withdrawing from her touches. Withdrawing from her wishes. And withdrawing from the vulnerability that a relationship brings.

And if only he was brave enough to give her any sort of explanation, she would tell him that distance will never stop her from loving him.

The beautiful decorations around her only feel suffocating. All she needs is a few moments of peace in Levi’s arms. She’s battered and exhausted. Sometimes she doesn’t understand how she finds the strength to face the world.

And she wishes she could hold on to his hand.

But she knows Levi hates any form of public affection. Or scratch that, she knows he hates affection in itself. It's been 3 months already, and he’s never held her hand, even in the privacy of his chambers.

It’s exhausting, to be stuck in this loop of wanting and withdrawing. It feels like she’s all alone in this. But unknowingly. yet as always, Levi stands right beside her, in the same boat, with the same troubles.

And if only she ever said something she would know that her comfort matters more to him, more than his own apprehensions and nervousness.

Ivan stands in the distance, looking over a few decorations next to the altar. His jet black tuxedo stands out, in the greens of the grass, and all the white the servants wear. And Mae needs a distraction she tells herself. Her mind is drained, thinking of Levi night and day.

And Levi can simply follow, as she starts walking towards Ivan instead.

He’s tall and fair, just like he’s always been. He turns towards Mae and flashes her a smile. His eyes sparkling blue,in all the sunlight.

They start talking about the wedding preparations, and a certain vigor weaves into Mae’s tone. She tells him how wonderful the arrangement looks. And she also keeps her hand on his upper arm, when he tells her how exhausted he is.

And Levi stands behind her, shifting his weight from one foot to another. Seething with something feral.

He thought she didn’t like speaking to anyone when she’s feeling low. And yet she’s speaking to Ivan with such enthusiasm. She wasn’t speaking to him this way a few minutes before.

Jealousy curls in the pit of his stomach. But he deserves it, he tells himself. He deserves all her silences. And he deserves all the pain her actions inflict.

Time ticks by slow, and somehow the conversation shifts. All of a sudden Mae is introducing him to Ivan.

And Ivan smiles at him, extending a hand forward out of courtesy.

But Levi just glares at it. His insecurities make him bitter .

The moment stretches, the tension palpable.

“Levi!” Mae elbows him, and throws him a disapproving look. And he wallows even deeper in his insecurities, knowing he has disappointed her even more.

Mae asks Ivan where Mr. Mendes is, and Ivan points towards the huge mansion built on the other side of the ground. They talk for a few more moments, and then Mae bids her goodbye, and starts walking towards the mansion.

And Levi just simply follows, unsure whether she even wants him around.

The mansion is big, even more intimidating up close. And its door lays wide open, as handmaidens and cleaners jog in and out.

And Mae gasps, awestruck as she steps inside. The interior is made of gleaming polished wood and the paneled walls run tall. And every piece of furniture is so intricate, it could be placed in a museum.

Her eyes glance around, wide in wonder.

Ivan’s marrying the daughter of the noble he was treating. She must be a gift to keep Mr. Mendes and Ivan around. It's a business deal of sorts- you stick around and treat my family, from our hereditary disease. And I share my wealth with you and give you my daughter.

Things have surely played out really well for Ivan.

And she hopes Mr. Mendes has had the heart to forgive her, too, as she lingers outside his door. Timid, and doubtful of her decision to see him.

Levi stands behind her like a shadow, unable to meet her eye, but unshakeable as ever. Her heart eases a little, his mere sight providing her comfort. Her fingers reach out to his wrist, and he looks up hesitant.

“Levi,” His name comes out so sweet from her lips. “Can you wait here for a bit? He was really unhappy with me the last time I saw him, and just in case he’s still mad, I don’t want him to take his anger out on you.”

Levi visibly softens. The self-inflicted wounds on his pride sooth a little. “Just remember that I’m right outside the door. Do call me if anything feels off… Please” he adds. Hoping she doesn’t hesitate.

And she nods, as she knocks on the door, and steps inside.

The room is small, with a bed, a study desk and a wardrobe. And Mr.Mendes sits on a rocking chair next to the window. Staring at the wedding arrangements.

It's been a few months since she last saw him. And how ever rude he might have been to her in asking her hand for marriage. She still has a fatherly bond with him.

“Mr Mendes.” She calls out, and slowly he turns his head towards her. Age has touched him harshly, his wrinkles fold deep and his eyes seem vacant and dull.

“Mae.” He mutters, eyes squinting as he throws her a glance. “You’re here too,” he states, albeit blandly.

And she looks down to the floor, scrunching the fabric of her skirt in nervousness. He doesn’t seem too happy to see her, and once again she feels unwanted.

The moment stretches, the silence is vacant. Mr.Mendes goes back to looking at the window, and Mae focuses on the floor beneath her. A little embarrassed, and guilty. Wondering if he’s still angry at her for not accepting his offer.

The tension only eases when he breaks into a fit of violent coughs.

On instinct, Mae picks up a glass of water kept on his side table, and rushes towards him. One hand on his back and the other on the glass, as she helps him chug down the water.

And he too rests his hands on her shoulder, as his coughs make him jerk forward. It brings back a ton of memories. And she finds her eyes getting watery. She never knew she would get so distant with him one day.

His coughs begin to subside, and she continues to pat his back, just like the old days. But sadly things are way different today, and a few things have changed in a way that they can’t be mended.

“What shabby clothes are you wearing?” Mr. Mendes remarks as soon as his cough settles. A scoff paints itself on his face. And he pushes himself away from her.

“They're not shabby, it's a fresh pair,” her voice teeters on the edge of a plea, and she looks down on the ground making herself small.

“Look at the life you;re living, and coming here to my son;s wedding, dressed in nothing but rags.” he spits out. His words hurt, her heart shudders. She feels insecure.

“I’m proud of the choices I;ve made, I have no regrets.” she squeaks out

“No regrets,” his face scrunches in disgust. “Are you happy then? Living in one of the poorest neighborhoods in Jinae. Working countless jobs. Settling for a good for nothing man.” His words are like venom, fuelled with anger and frustration. And he’s so weakened by his emotions, he doesn’t realize he’s yelling.

“EXCUSE ME,” Mae counters, her temper flaring up too. “He is Humanity's strongest, a respected and valued soldier in the Survey Corps. Don’t disrespect him like that.”

Because as much as things aren’t going well with him, he’s still hers. And she wouldn’t let anyone speak shit about him.

Mr. Mendes laughs, a bitter mock. “What good is that title to you, it only puts him with more risks and responsibilities making the chances of him dying higher?”

His taunt falls like a slap on her face. She feels weak, ridden of words.

Yeah, what good is that title to her? Especially when he hardly has any time for her.

“Your silence tells how much you’re disappointed in your reckless decision.” He reels back to looking at the window,” Humanity’s Strongest huh! Damn sure that title gets the underground thug all the ladies in the world… Unbelievable how a criminal gang leader can turn into a hero.“ He curses and his words echo through the thin walls.

And all of a sudden Mae’s slapped not only with Mr Mendes's wrath, but also with the secrets of Levi’s past. She finds it hard to breathe, as if the wind has been knocked right out of her lungs.

It’s the last tick, the water has gone over the bridge.

The information lays heavy on her mind, slowly the pieces of him fall together. The way he keeps a knife hidden in his clothes. And the way he knew nothing about the world when he first met her.

A thug from the Underground? Levi never told her anything about that?

“He’s no match for my son.” Mr. Mendes mutters, more to himself. And tears do well. Everything looks blurry, her heart feels dizzy. She feels defeated.

“Why are you so quiet now?” he taunts. “Did reality finally knock some sense into you?”

And Mae feels helpless, not knowing how to counter something she’s been told nothing about.

“I’m sorry,” she whispers, more to herself. For being so foolish in her love. For enduring all the shit Levi put her through once again. For settling for something so… unworthy. And most of all, for loving herself less than him… once again.

Her shoulders feel heavy and her knees feel weak as she turns away.

She doesn’t even know whether the claims made by Mr. Mendes are true, or just an accusation made to mess with her. But that just proves how little she knows about Levi, and how little he cares about her.

And with the little strength in her heart she pushes the door open.

In front of her stands Levi.

He didn’t tell her this.

He didn’t tell her anything about him.

And Levi’s eyes fall down. His facade has fallen, soiled in the dirt. All that remains now, are the parts of him that have always been hated. The parts of him that are hard to love and difficult to accept.

And he feels bare, naked.

The silence is loud and sharp. Piercing like the barbed wire wrapped around Mae’s heart. And she looks at him, with disappointment knitted in her brows

Because Levi is the calm before the storm. The smell of fresh linen sheets, and the harsh rain that cleanses everything. He is stillness and chaos. With the stars in his eyes, and the world on his shoulders. A paradox so unusual, that it's a wonder on earth.

But most of all, Levi is the person she has loved with all her heart and soul. And yet, she doesn’t recognise him anymore.

He feels like a stranger. And their entanglement feels like nothing but a burden.

Questions in her mind erupt like fire. And they would sear Levi alive

She searches his slate gray eyes. The same eyes she’s utterly fallen in love with. Hoping he gives her a single explanation. Hoping he tells her that she didn’t make the wrong decision.

That he still loves her, and she can still have the fairytale relationship that she once dreamt of.

Butas always he gives her nothing. He isn’t even able to meet her eyes. Because what awaits him there, is disappointment. His biggest fear.

Her lips tremble, her heart shudders. The tiredness of all the fights she’s never had with him boggs her down.

The prolonged silence speaks tons. She hates him for keeping this from her, and he hates the way it came out to her.

And she can only pick away the pieces of her self esteem, and walk away from him. To a place where she doesn’t feel like such a fool.

The grandeur of the mansion suffocates her. She finds beauty everywhere, in every corner of the place, but in herself. And her eyes blur as she stumbles away from him.

To say, they are only a few feet away, but miles lie between their hearts.

And Mae doesn’t understand when things started going downhill, but now things have crashed.

In an hour, the wedding bells ring. The guests are peacefully seated, and she stands at the corner, barely managing to suppress her sadness.

The bride walks in, dressed in a beautiful white dress, holding her father’s hand. Ivan stands at the other end, with a smile on his face.

And Mae watches them exchange vows wistfully,

The union of two souls. The most beautiful of moments unfold in front of her. Everything is here, flowers, grand decorations, elaborate palanquins. But her lover isn’t. Her lover has left her disappointed.

Often she dreamt of her marriage with Levi as well. With him looking as charismatic as ever in a black coat and the cravat that she stitched for him, a testament of where they once were and how much they've been through. Together.

But now she doesn’t even know of their future 2 days from now.

They’ve lost each other even whilst walking together.

The wedding ends, the bride and groom kiss. The guests clap, showering the newly weds with appreciation. And then Ivan and his now wife walk away hand in hand.

In the corner, Mae sees Mr.Mendes as well. He watches everything with an unreadable look on his face.

Slowly the guests start leaving as well, after exchanging their pleasantries. The field starts becoming vacant. But Mae remains unmoving. The heaviness in her heart is unsettling.

The sun sets, and the sky turns navy. Darkness takes over. And she feels so alone, when she looks at the stretches of land with no one but her.

Far in the distance, the lights in the mansion burn bright. And its glass windows shine golden due the warmth that illuminates from inside.

They must be really happy, Mae concludes as she walks towards the altar. Her back finds one of the four pillars, and she slumps down to the floor. Eyes struck at the podium, where the priest read the holy vows.

Everything around only makes her doubt everything she had with Levi.

The ache in her heart never lessens. And she sulks, silently fuming in the aftermath.

She tried coming close to him, but the distances between them never lessened. She tried to be the bigger person, always but things never got better.

She questions everything. His words, his actions. And the moments between them felt so genuine.

Their bond was so healthy, so strong. They had each other’s back through the toughest times. He was the closest thing she had to a family. And she thinks about how much they could have grown together if he simply tried.

But he never cared to begin with. He was only acting out of pity.

It starts to rain, an untimely rain. And tears slip past her eyes too. She feels like she’s been trying to keep them in forever.

Cold wind blows towards her, and she shivers, unused to the harsh winter of Mitras. Hours pass by awfully slow. But she doesn’t go back to the hotel. She doesn’t want to meet the person who’s caused her so much anguish.

Footsteps echo off the marble floor.

Ivan walks in visibly disturbed too. Partially drenched in the rain.

“Mae…” his voice trails off, a little surprised to see her sitting at the altar, hours after the wedding “What are you doing here?... Do you not have a room to go back to?”

The question hurts. “I’m not THAT poor. Ivan.” she snaps. “I’m just here because I don’t want to see Levi right now.”

“Oh,” Ivan sighs. Not knowing whether he should pry any further. And he too drops down on the pillar adjacent to hers. Tired.

“You love him a little too much don’t you?”

And Mae sighs, another tear slipping past her eyes at his words. “Yeah, that seems to be my biggest problem.“ She hugs herself closer, attempting to warm herself in the cold. “I love him so much, it hurts.”

The downpour drowns out the silences. But it does very little to drown the sorrow in the air.

And Mae looks up at Ivan curious. Tiredness weighs heavy on his eyes. It’s the night of his wedding. And yet he’s here sitting alone.

“Did you consummate the marriage?” The question leaves her mouth, thoughtlessly. It’s way too blunt, but none of them have the energy for formalities.

“Yeah… it was… fine,” he speaks slowly, hesitating. “I can already tell, this marriage isn’t going to be good.” And then he sighs, exhausted, as he cards his fingers through his hair.

Silence settles, the wind blows. And the both of them suffer in the cold, not wanting to return to the warmth of a home.

A sad smile forms on Mae’s face. She’s felt so awfully lonely the past few days. Sometimes, even when Levi is right next to her. “Well, if it makes you feel better, my relationship isn’t going great either.”

And Ivan’s eyes widen. “Why do you say that?” he asks, genuinely concerned. Because he’s seen Levi and Mae, he thought they’d be the type of couple that would never break apart.

“Where do I even start,” she bitterly chuckles. “Look at him…He doesn’t even come to check up on me, Ivan. It’s so cold, and I’ve been missing for hours, shivering in the rain. I'm the one who has a reason to be upset. And yet I’m the one who’s still wondering why he isn’t coming to me? He hardly has any time for me…It’s always like this with him, so painfully one sided. I doubt he’d shed even a single tear, if I end up dying one day...”

And Ivan doesn;t know what to say. It’s not like he’s some relationship expert anyway.

Hell, this marriage is his first romantic relationship ever.

And so he sits quiet, dwelling on his own inexperience. And the silence only forces Mae to relive all the things that never happened in her and Levi’s relationship.

“I think I should end it.” The thought has been bogging her for weeks now. And now she’s hit her limit. “He doesn’t love me Ivan,” her voice breaks, and she sniffs to hold her tears back. “He doesn’t lov-”

“Oh shut up!” Ivan huffs, cutting her off. Because even though he is unsure of relationships and everything happening in his life as well, he knows that Levi loves Mae. It’s the only thing he’s sure of, at this point in his life.

“Are you fucking blind? Do you even see the way he looks at you?...” He grumbles almost frustrated with Mae’s blabbering. “I’ve always been so scared of him, but when he looks at you, his lips quirk up, just a little bit. And his eyes soften, as if the most precious thing in the world is now in front of him…. When he looks at you, he looks human… So what shit are you going on about?... And you haven’t even felt the intensity of his stare, anytime I walk next to you. I face it, I face the looks he throws at me. Sometimes it's a surprise that I’m not dead already.”

“Then why doesn’t he do anything about it?’ Mae’s head begins to hurt, and frustration lays heavy in every word she spouts out. “It's been three months, Ivan. Goddamn three months and we haven’t even kissed, or held hands, or been on a date… Yesterday I asked him to sleep on the bed next to me and he slept on the chair instead.”

“But Mae?” Ivan rebuttals almost innocently. “If I'd be in a relationship with a girl I really liked, I think I’d be like that too… Extremely hesitant and shy.” he answers truthfully. “And if he doesn’t make time for you, then why is he here to attend my wedding?”

All the loopholes in her thinking slowly start to resurface. And she frowns, her nose flaring. “He does make time for… it’s just that nothing even remotely romantic ever happens in that time?”

“So why don’t you tell him how you feel? What use is complaining about all this to me, when only Levi can give you what you need?”

A quiet gasp escapes Mae’s lips. And Ivan’s questions only force her to ponder over her own insecurities.

She’s always felt like the second choice. With Mr. Mendes, sometimes also with Levi.

And so she always tries to be on her best behavior, even when the other person is being intolerable.

“I don’t know, don’t wanna be a burden.” Her voice frays, and she’s grateful that it's the middle of the night and Ivan can’t see the pure destruction on her face, when she battles her own demons. “I feel like if I ever complain, then people will get annoyed by me and wouldn’t want to stick around anymore.”

“That’s not how relationships work, Mae…” Ivan mutters solemnly. “ This rushed marriage… I never wanted it. But how could I not listen to my dying father’s wish? The father who has done so much for me?...Sometimes he still dreams of you and the perfect family he envisioned with you.”

“Did I really upset him by saying no?”

“That's okay, you can’t make everyone happy... Old age has made him childish. But that doesn’t mean I abandon him. Nor does it diminish the value of all the good times I’ve spent with him.”

Ivan speaks the truth, it lays heavy on Mae;s mind. And slowly her flaws come to light as well.

“How did Mr.Mendes know about Levi’s past?” She changes the topic.

“He told me to ask around back when I worked in the Corps… Obviously I noticed the guy you would stare at with such dreamy eyes, I would be blind to not notice… And when I told father about it, he called you for lunch too often. Then your health got worse and he told me to look into it… Almost everyone in the Survey Corps knew that he was an underground thug, how did you not know?”

“Levi is a private person. I didn’t want to pry. I thought he’d tell me himself, when he felt comfortable.”

Mae’s eyes turn moist again, there’s an ever growing tightness in her throat that makes it harder for her to speak. “I can’t believe I dreamt so much of this... I thought we’d be perfect for each other, but look at me now... And look at you Ivan. you and your bride looked perfect as you walked hand in hand…. You got exactly what I dreamt of, whilst I sit here, crying, with the remnants of my broken love life.”

The rain becomes harsher, almost turning to a storm. And a bittersweet smile forms on Ivan’s face, as he ponders over Mae’s words.

“Yeah… Me and my wife are complete in every sense. She’s pretty and I have a well-earning job and a reputable career. Our future is secure here in Mitras, and we have both time and money, we’ll never run short of… And yet, despite all the time we have, we don’t wish to spend it with each other. We speak, but not with our heart. We are bound, but not by love.”

And when Mae looks up at Ivan, she sees the same pain reflect in his eyes, that she saw when he lost his mother. The pain of loss and unhappiness. “We are complete in every sense. We have everything that one needs to be happy. But our love…. Our love is incomplete…”

And a final tear slips past her eyes as Ivan continues. “ You and Levi might not have anything compared to us, but your love is complete.”

This is one of my favourite chapters in this arc, because of all the drama that goes on.

In the previous chapters I felt like it was just Levi and Mae, and everything was revolving around them, so I thought it was becoming kind of monotonous and boring. Which is why I've tried to add more characters this time.

Also I hope no one is surprised by the fact that Mae didn't know about Levi's past yet. (I think that was one of the main reasons for their misunderstandings, because she didn't know of his background yet)

(If anyone is wondering, then Mae will start talking things out with Levi after this, as she is slowly realizing her faults as well.)

So yeah! I'm excited to hear your thoughts, opinions, feedbacks. As always I'm open to criticism as well. (don't be shy lol)

I hope you enjoyed this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it.

I'll see you soon with chapter 20!

Taglist: @keijikunn @evas-leslas @leviackermanmyhero245 (message me if you want to be added)

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