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fablesrose · 6 months

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Ch 6 - The Order 23 Job

Series Rewrite Masterlist

Pairing: Eliot Spencer x Ford!Reader

Description: The team messes with a dirty financial planner's mind by stealing a hospital and convincing him of a disease.

Words: 2355

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Our next job kept us in Massachusetts, where a finance guy had stolen money from his clients. Many had relied on him, only to leave them penniless. This was an interesting job, however, as he had already been charged for his crimes, in fact, we had shown up for his sentencing. The money he stole, though, was still missing.

We gathered in the courtroom, discussing the situation. Eddie, the mark, was going to a glorified prison in Florida that sounded more like a country club for only 18 months before he could come back and collect the nearly $400,000 he stashed before his trial.

“Alright, if this guy’s not afraid of prison,” Sophie started, “then what incentive does he have to tell us where the cash is?”

Nate didn’t have an answer.

“Nate, hate to rush you, but Eddie goes to prison in an hour so…” Parker probed.

“Yeah, yeah yeah…”

“Did you guys notice how much hand sanitizer that guy was using? Seems like a germaphobe on top of being a jerk. Makes me like him even less” I commented, mostly to myself.

“Did you like him at all?” Eliot asked me.

“No.”

Nate turned to us, “What are you more afraid of than prison?”

“Death?” Sophie guessed.

“And what are you more afraid of than death?” Nate raised the hand sanitizer Eddie had and looked at me, “Exactly.”

Nate quickly came up with a plan, Parker would sneakily drug Eddie’s water with some spy type vent menuevers. Nate would then pose as a doctor to keep Eddie in the area, even getting him to a hospital so we could have an even greater control over him. Once we stole the hospital of course.

Once we arrived Hardison and Parker set up equipment on an abandoned floor. Sound systems, cameras, anything you could think of to be able to convince Eddie that he was in an operational floor of the hospital. Nate sent me to grab some things with a list. Once everything was set up we met in one room which would be our makeshift HQ.

“Hey, are you sure there are no patients on this floor,” I asked after I had gathered all the stuff.

“No, they use this place for storage. We own it,” Hardison answered.

I nodded, setting the duffel I had down. “Alright, well here’s the stuff from the van, plus almost everything from the list. And by the way, nurses haven’t worn skirts with white stockings since the 70s.” I didn’t fail to catch the slight smirk that came from Hardison and Eliot when I said that.

“Guys listen up,” Nate caught our attention, “Eddie is here for an MRI, that gives us two hours. Don’t need to tell ya that’s not a lot of time. You might be playing multiple parts on this one.”

“Even me?” I asked, I hadn’t had a large role in a job yet, or any role at all for that matter.

“Yeah, even you,” Nate answered. “Parker, y/n, and I will be the medical team. Sophie, next door to the patient.”

Eliot and Hardison were bickering over shirts.

“Guys, just keep an eye on the Marshalls alright? We’ve got two hours starting now. Go.”

We split up with Eliot giving Hardison some last splitting words before walking off. Parker went down to the lobby to prepare and retrieve Eddie for the con. Nate went down in his doctor persona to meet them. Eliot and Hardison were down there dressed as cops to distract the marshals. I couldn’t help myself from taking a second look at Eliot in uniform before shaking my head to snap out of it. I was actually going to do something in this job, I had to prepare for it.

Sophie and I stayed on our floor, waiting for them to come back up. Sophie posed as a patient in the same room and chatted up Eddie when he got there.

“How’s this supposed to work?” Parker asked in our HQ room, “I barely dosed him with Rohypnol, I mean, it must’ve worn off by now. Especially with the rash.”

“Yeah, well look at him. I mean, he’s totally fine.” Nate answered. He handed me a script, “This thing, I need you to read on the…”

“PA?” I asked.

“PA thing, yeah.”

“Want me to make announcements?”

“Yeah, could you?”

“Yeah, you’re really selling the whole hospital experience.”

“No, that’s not what I’m selling.”

He didn’t explain further so I went to make the announcements he told me to. “Dr. Burns, please report to the cardiac ward. Dr. Burns, to the cardiac ward. Infectious disease unit, please pick up line 23. Infectious disease, pick up 23.”

When I came back Nate started to explain to the both of us, “See, you tell someone they have a bunch of symptoms, and the information gets processed in the executive center of the brain, right? Its job is to question assumptions, start an argument. But, if you suggest symptoms, you can bypass all that.”

“Like subliminal advertising?” Parker asked, asking my own question.

“It’s actually neuro linguistic programming. You know the gateway to the amygdala and… Which is the fear center of the brain,” Nate explained, “you asked what we’re selling, that’s what we’re selling.”

“So we’re selling fear?” Parker asked

“Yeah, we’re selling fear.”

“Lovely,” I commented, mostly to myself. The plans he comes up with are both amazing and somewhat frightening. I found it interesting I didn’t see as much of this growing up. It was like seeing a whole different side of him, and while he was still my uncle, I don’t think he was the same man anymore.

We watched on the cameras as Eddie became more paranoid with a fake special report on the TV and different recordings talking about contagions coming from the hallway. It all seemed to be going smoothly until the marshals discovered that Eddie was missing. Luckily Eliot convinced them to not call it in yet, but this was not ideal.

“So much for having two hours,” Parker said.

“We’re gonna stick to the original plan. We’re just gonna move things up. Eliot, lose the uniform, Sophie, it’s time,” Nate directed.

Sophie started to act disoriented and distressed, “I don’t feel good!”

The four of us, Nate, Parker, Eliot, and I all stormed the room with medical supplies. I pulled the curtain, and we all acted like we were doing things behind the curtain, giving Eddie shadows to look at while Nate barked orders. We simulated cpr and defibrillators before Eliot called time of death.

We all acted distressed at losing a patient as we rolled Sophie out on a gurney, leaving Eddie by himself.

Eliot went back downstairs to help Hardison stall the marshals.

“What do we do now?” Parker asked.

“Now, we wait. This is the stall. It’s no different than any other con.”

I took a mental note of that fact as I watched Eddie on the cameras. “Wait, his nose…” I pointed out, “Is that real blood?”

Eddie started screaming that he was bleeding.

“Yes, yes it is…” Nate replied.

“Did you just give a guy a nosebleed with the power of your mind?” Parker asked.

“Amygdala mania,” Nate said, “The almond tonsils…” He walked away quickly.

Parker turned to me, “did you know he could do that?”

I shook my head quickly.

“But you’re his niece!”

“I may be Nate’s niece, but…” I trailed off, not knowing how to finish the sentence.

Parker then looked at Sophie who entered the room in her normal clothes, “Is it just me or has Nate gotten a little sadistic since he quit drinking?”

“Is it just me or does that make him even more attractive?” Sophie responded before snapping her eyes to me as if just remembering I was there.

I just shrugged at her with my hands raised, “I’m not gonna comment.”

We continued to watch Eddie and listen to Hardison as he investigated the marshals a little bit when a guard came up to our floor. Nate told Sophie to take care of him, which she did in the form of an intimidating hazmat suit.

Hardison, on the other hand, had found some interesting things about one of the marshals in his car, namely that he wasn’t a marshal at all. He was a hitman sent to kill Eddie. Eliot was supposed to meet up with him, but Hardison couldn’t get him on comms. He took a somewhat drastic measure of speaking in code over the intercom of the hospital.

We had our own hands full playing with Eddie’s mind a bit more. Nate went in to him and explained a little bit about this virus that has been infecting people before collapsing. Me and Parker rushed in, trying to help him, all in character of course. We hauled him into the bed next to Eddie, where Sophie was before.

“I’m fine, you know. The rash is localized,” Nate said drowsily, “I just need an anti-inflammatory nurse. What, what are you doing?”

Parker handcuffed Nate to the bed, “I’m sorry, Order 23.”

“Wait, where are you going?” Eddie asked, “You can’t just leave me here!’

“Please, nurses!”

I tied a mask around my face and made a show of pulling Parker out of the room.

“Let me talk to CDC Atlanta,” Nate called.

Parker pulled back to answer him, “I can’t, they’re coming.”

“Who’s coming,” Eddie yelled, “wait! What is Order 23? Is it to leave us here to die?”

I made another act of pulling Parker away, “Come on, we’ve got to go now!”

“Please, get me out of here. I am not sick,” Eddie pleaded.

“Don’t listen to him,” Nate said, “Variant U cannot be released into the general population.”

“You heard him, I’m leaving right now!” I told Parker, “I’m not waiting for you anymore.” I dashed off down the hallway.

“It’s not my decision!” Parker told Eddie.

“Is it for $400,000?” Eddie asked. “Is it your decision then? I have it. Near here. And I’ll take you there, all you have to do is let me go, please!”

I smiled from my chair in our little HQ, we got him.

Nate cried no from his bed, begging Parker not to do it, but she released Eddie and led him out of the room.

Nate dashed from the room quickly after and joined me so we could clean up quickly to avoid the marshal that was reaching our floor. It wasn’t too long before the Marshal called it in that Eddie had escaped causing the whole hospital to be flooded by cops. We made our escape, Parker sticking with Eddie after he thought he tased her, the rest of us close behind.

Eddie led us right to the cash, which was hidden in the court house, ironically enough. Parker took the money after she punched him in the face, “Deal’s a deal.”

“So what happened, Eddie, huh?” Nate asked him. “You got a little bored during your trial, started looking around and you thought, ‘now what’s the last place someone would look for stolen money in this town?’”

Eddie looked from Eliot to Hardison who were holding him up to Nate before he started laughing.

“What’s so funny Eddie?” Eliot asked.

“I’m just thinking about all the crimes you committed today,” he pulled himself loose, “burglary, assault, kidnapping. I’m going to prison for eighteen months. But you, every one of you is looking at 25 to life.” He panted, backing away from us, “I know your faces. I know all your faces. I am really good with faces.You’re gonna pay for what you did to me. Right now!” He dashed off down the hallway as we heard sirens outside.

I rolled my eyes and moved my hands in a talking motion, mocking him, “ho, ho ho, I’m a jerk, AND an idiot!”

Eliot huffed a laugh before turning to Nate, wordlessly asking if we should follow.

Nate shook his head no.

We watched from a distance as Eddie got arrested, yelling like a maniac about us.

Nate exited the courthouse first, “So, here’s everything you need to know about criminal law. Every crime has two elements: Actus reus, the act itself, and mens rea, literally the guilty mind.”

“Wait, now you’re a doctor and a lawyer?” Hardison asked.

“Yes,” Nate answered without missing a beat, “Now, for the escape, the prisoner has to both break out of custody and show intent of escape.”

“Wait,” Sophie interjected, “So, if, let’s say, a prisoner was taken hostage during a jailbreak, then he wouldn’t be guilty of escape.”

“That’s a perfect example,” Nate praised.

“I’ll keep that in mind.” I commented.

“Which brings us back to our friend Eddie,” Nate continued, not acknowledging me, “and how the brain reacts to fear. In the heat of the moment, Eddie didn’t ask himself one simple question, who would doubt his guilty mind?”

I leaned over to Eliot, “I wouldn’t have asked myself that.”

He just nodded at me.

There were a few loose ends that still needed to be cleaned up. We split up again, Eliot and Hardison had to go back to the hospital to take care of the fake marshal. I kept my comm in, just to listen and make sure everything went smoothly. What I wasn’t quite prepared for though, was Eliot’s request of the marshal.

When he came back, there was a moment with just the two of us.

“I heard what you asked that marshal to do. To help that kid…” I looked to see him ticking his jaw, “that was really good of you. I’m glad he had you to look out for him.”

He glanced at me for only a moment, “Yeah well…” He gave me a tight smile, but didn’t finish his thought. He looked at the time, gave me a curt nod, and left.

I looked at the time myself and thought it was time to head home, I quickly said my goodbyes to everyone else before heading back to my apartment, wondering if I said something wrong.

Tags: @isoldeahlstrom @kniselle

#eliot spencer x reader #eliot spencer #leverage #rewrite #slow burn #multichapter #nate ford #sophie devereaux #alec hardison #parker #ford!reader

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total-drama-takes-takes-2 · 6 months

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ttwt episode 1 - part 2

“Last time, on Total Takes World Tour: seventeen teens sat down and buckled up for an all-expenses paid trip around the globe! It’s kind of like a cruise… with the chance to win a cash prize of one million dollars! After busting some mandatory groovy tunes, we flew our crew down to Teotihuacan in Mexico, where they traversed the mysterious tunnels located beneath the world-famous Pyramid of the Sun. And that’s where we are now- who will sing? Who will sink? Find out now, on Total Takes World Tour!”

“OMGGGG, is the mat blue for boy love?!” Mal screeches as Team Yaoi walks over to their designated starting point for the next leg of the challenge.

“I think the blue is symbolic of the color you’ll be after I’m done beating you to death over the team name,” Ass snaps, crossing their arms. “Team Yaoi… ugh.”

Their eyes drift over to Team Friendship, hovering over a lovely lavender rug, and Team Mojo with an orange.

“Do you think Joner’s okay over there?” Sha-Mod asks, holding a hand over his face to shield Lightning’s eyes from the non-existant sun.

Joner is sitting on the ground while Julia, Ass, and Mal argue, rocking back and forth in the fetal position. Patrick grumbles to himself. “He’ll live,”

He sighs, his shoulders sagging. “Man, I just miss McLovin,”

Michela goes on, offering an encouraging pat on Sha-Mod’s shoulder. “Max and I got separated, too.”

“You’ve got me, if anything,” Albert says. Michela shrugs, but smiles anyway.

From the lavender rug, Max watches the interaction and grumbles to himself. Kelly and Staci are busy playing with a fortune teller they made out of one of the napkins from the galley, and Scruffy is trying to convince Phillip that no one hates him.

“Dude, you look like you’re going to pop a blood vessel,” Bonnie notes, looking up from their flaking nail polish with a raised eyebrow.

“There’s something off about him,” Max says. “I can’t figure out what it is yet, but I will.”

They roll their eyes from behind him. “You’re jealous. It's normal,”

“I am not,”

“Calm down. We’ve all been there,”

Max turns around with a contemplative expression. “Have you?”

Bonnie looks away and stutters, but luckily Chris interrupts just in time. “I hope you’re all enjoying the cold, cause it’s about to get HOT!” he chuckles at his own reference, ignoring the confused looks from the cast. “Mexico is known for having alotta active volcanoes, dudes- and you’re about to get up close and personal with your next stop- Popocatepetl!”

The teens glance between each other nervously. “And you’ll be taking these shiny obsidian artifacts with you. Last team to make it up the mountain is up for elimination! So you dudes better get a move on- it’s a day’s walk from here, haha. See ya!”

And with that, the host walks off.

“We’ve gotta find some other method of transportation,” Courtney says confidently, scratching their chin. “Does anyone have any money?”

“We all left ours on the plane,” Ass rolls their eyes. “How are we going to get a ride without cash?”

Joner sits at the edge of the group, looking out in the distance while the team argues behind him. A tour bus pulls up across the ancient city and he blinks. “Hey, guys?”

The four ignore him and continue bickering. “Guyyyys?”

“A little busy, Joner!” Courtney shouts back.

“Guys!”

“WHAT!” Julia and Ass shout in unison.

Joner points over the city to the bus.

---

Team Friendship stands along the side of a highway, holding up thumbs and waiting.

“We’ve been here for hours,” Bonnie sighs. “No one’s going to pick us up.”

“Can’t you flag someone down? I mean… not to assume anything, but you speak Spanish, right?” Scruffy asks. Bonnie looks away.

---

BONNIE: “I can say “hello” and “where is the bathroom” but fluency? Forget it,”

---

“Guys, look what we found!” Staci’s voice rings out.

The team turns to see Kelly and Staci returning to the group, leading a donkey behind them.

“Um,” Max says. “Who’d you steal that from?”

“We just found him wandering around on his own,” Kelly says, patting the animal’s hide. “No one likes being alone. Can we keep him?”

Scruffy and Bonnie look between each other.

---

“Well. This is certainly taking the cake for the most embarrassing moment of my life,” Max says, sitting atop Bonnie’s shoulders as the entire team balances on the mule.

“Better than walking,” Scruffy huffs, Kelly in their lap and Staci awkwardly angled behind them.

“Is it?”

“At least you’re not in the back,” Phillip sighs, waving his hand in front of his nose.

---

Team Mojo walks through a thick forest, everyone both shivering from the cold and sweating from the humidity. Austin keeps stopping every few moments to take selfies with the local flora.

Michela and Albert hang at the back of the group, Patrick just steps ahead of them. He sighs dramatically, then announces “I’m getting tired. Someone carry me,” before falling back. Michela and Albert step out of the way and he falls on the forest floor with a thump.

“Well, this is miserable,” Michela sighs. “I mean, no offense to you guys, but we’re kind of a lousy team.”

“No offense taken,” Sha-Mod says, placing a hand over his heart. “I just know things would be different if the Takes Three boys were together again!”

“The what?” Albert asks.

Michela sighs and grumbles. “It’s their band,”

“The best band!”

“Oh, neat. What kind of music do you do?” Albert goes on.

“Please don’t entertain him,” she says, but it’s too late.

“We mostly do rap-swing-darkwave, but we’ve been experimenting with reggae-classical with an eastern influence,” Sha-Mod says. “Our Christmas album is coming out in December. You should pre-order before it’s sold out!”

“Sounds bad,” Frollo comments from up ahead, not even bothering to turn around. "An affront to Christmas."

“It’s pretty good!”

“I don’t believe that,”

The ground suddenly starts shaking, and a deep rumbling sound comes from within the earth. The team ducks and covers while the forest foliage sways above them. “Told you!” Frollo shouts.

A faint dinging noise catches everyone’s attention. Chris’ voice seems to come out of nowhere- “Looks like the Aztec fire god is not happy,” he chuckles. His tone is taunting, and very aggravating. “Why don’t you sing him a little song to soothe him? And also prevent that volcano from exploding?”

“You guys can’t do that, right?” Sha-Mod asks nervously.

“No promises, dude,” and then he disappears.

“This blows,” Michela sighs, then takes a deep breath. “No need to blow up, it’s winter time at last!”

Sha-Mod, Albert, and Patrick join in. “You shouldn’t burn us up,”

“Or turn us into ash!” Austin says. “Yeah, baby!”

Across the forest, Team Friendship nervously looks between each other as the earth trembles. “It’s volcanic winter time,” Bonnie says, eyes wide.

“So don't blow your top!” Max yelps as the tremors make the trees around them sway.

“Just ignore us mortals!” Phillip adds on.

Scruffy opens their mouth to sing but the Donkey rears and squishes them between Staci and Kelly, who shout out. “Don’t let the good times stop!”

---

“It’s winter time,” Courtney sings as the entirety of Team Yaoi is crammed in a tight tourist bus.

“Winter time, winter time!” Mal and Julia sing along.

Joner picks up in a perfectly toned voice. “It’s volcanic winter season!”

“It’s winter time,” Ass grumbles.

Courtney and Julia pick up the chorus. “Winter time, winter time…”

---

“Lord, save us now,” Frollo sing-speaks loudly.

“It’s winter time, winter time, winter time…” Michela and Albert harmonize as the team creeps through the forest.

Austin shouts the next verse. “Volcanic winter season!”

---

“It’s winter time, winter time, winter time…” Kelly, Staci, and Bonnie harmonize.

“Volcanic winter season!” Max finishes off the song.

Scruffy opens their mouth again, but they’re interrupted by the sound of trembling and the sight of a large plume of smoke close by.

“We’re here!” Bonnie shouts. Scruffy sighs and sulks.

Chris is sitting at the base of the volcano, lounging on a lawn chair and catching non-existent rays with a foil reflector. He sips from a drink and grins. “First team at the base! Better hurry, though- that volcano is about to blow!”

The tourist bus turns up next, and an exasperated Team Yaoi runs out. Chris opens his mouth to make some witty remark, but Julia interrupts with a shout. “What’s next!?”

“Geez, chill out,” he chuckles, lying back on his chair. “Your next part of the challenge is drawn from ancient Aztec tradition- a sacrifice to the fire god, Xiuhtecuhtli! Unfortunately, our lame attorneys say we can’t do a human or animal sacrifice, so we’ll be using your obsidian artifacts.”

The teams look between each other. Scruffy holds up the necklace they’d snatched, while Mal plays with her blade before putting it in her back pocket.

The earth rumbles again and Chris grins, flipping down a pair of shades. “Better hurry! It’s a steep hike!”

The two teams set off just as Team Mojo comes running up, everyone exhausted and out of breath. Sha-Mod collapses as soon as they reach Chris, and the other members aren’t looking much better.

“Wow, roughed it all the way on foot, huh?” Chris grins, taking another sip from his drink.

Michela nods, wiping the sweat from her forehead.

“Well, better gear up to do some more. You’re in for quite the hike,” he chuckles. The team groans.

---

“I was going to give this to Jules, but if it’s for the game, I guess…” Scruffy thinks, holding out the necklace. “Well, I can get her something else, right?”

“Would you please. Shut. Up,” Max grumbles.

Bonnie raises a hand. “I second that,”

Scruffy looks away with a frown. After a few moments, former sighs. “What do you see in her, anyway? She’s a total pain,”

“Well… at first, I was just trailing her because she was the smartest player in the game. Besides yours truly,” Scruffy says, placing a hand over their heart. “But… behind all that rage and wit, she’s a good person. She does mean things out of necessity, but she feels bad about them, and when she’s not competing, she’s a real sweetheart. She’s like nothing I’ve ever seen before. Sometimes I think I’m the only person who sees that.”

“Hm,” Bonnie thinks aloud. “Well… I guess that’s kind of sweet. I still don’t see it, though.”

Scruffy shrugs and walks past Max, who has his fingers in his ears to block out the conversation.

---

Team Yaoi huffs and wheezes as they climb the mountainside, all exhausted from the smoke and the hike. Joner is practically dragging himself along at this point, crawling on his hands and knees.

“Don’t…” Courtney wheezes. “Give up… so… close…”

Finally, the group collapses at the mouth of the volcano, where Chris is waiting. “Long walk, huh?”

“How’d you get up here?” Ass points an accusatory finger at him from their resting place on the ground.

“Airlift. Get with the times, dude,” he rubs his hands together. “Alright, sacrifice time! Let’s see that artifact!”

Mal sighs and digs around in her pockets for a moment before her face goes blank. Courtney, Ass, and Julia look at her. “Mal…?” Julia starts.

“I-I’m sure I have it. I put it in my pocket at the base, I didn’t touch it!”

A few hundred feet down, a glint in the sun catches Bonnie’s eye. They turn to Max, who’s whistling and flipping a blade between his fingers.

Back at the top, Ass groans. “You dropped it! You idiot!”

“Someone has to go back and find it,” Courtney wheezes. “We can’t lose.”

“I’ll-I’ll go,” Joner stands before promptly collapsing again. “Or not.”

“I think Mal should go. She lost it,” Julia glares.

“I did not!”

“You did too!”

The group erupts into argument again and Joner covers his ears.

---

“How much longer?” Albert asks, coughing weakly.

“Long,” Michela responds.

“I’m tired. Someone carry me!” Patrick says again, falling backwards just for Michela and Albert to move apart and let him tumble down the side of the mountain on his back.

Frollo is up ahead, reading silently and apparently not breaking a sweat.

“How does he do that?” Sha-Mod whispers.

Austin shrugs. “I don’t know, but I’m starting to think I might be following the wrong religion, baby,”

---

Team Friendship treks on, panting and wheezing to themselves. Scruffy looks behind their shoulder for a second and catches a glimpse of Bonnie and Max.

“Where’d you get that?” they ask, eyes pointed towards the blade in Max’s hands.

“Found it,”

“Really?”

He shrugs. “Found it in Mal’s pocket?”

“Woahhh, nice one. Way to show the girly team!” Phillip says, holding up a hand for a high-five. Max just stares at him and he lowers it sadly.

The volcano rumbles again, making the team grab onto each other for support as a parade of rocks rains down on them. “Run!” Scruffy shouts, and the teens get to moving, dodging giant boulders as they move down the hill.

---

Chris looks exhausted as he watches Team Yaoi bicker on and on, pointing fingers and shouting at each other. Joner walks over and sits next to him, deep eye bags under his eyes.

“I can’t believe you live with this,” the host whispers loudly. Joner just sighs.

Seconds later, Team Friendship runs up the side of the hill, panting and gasping. “Yes! Yes, we made it!” Scruffy whoops. Kelly and Staci cheer while Max covers his ears again.

“Let’s hope you guys have your sacrifice,” Chris says. Scruffy holds out the necklace proudly, but hesitates when they see Julia.

“One thing first,” they say, jogging over to Max. They pick him up off the ground, hold him by the ankles and shake him until the blade falls from one of his pockets.

“Well, that’s one way to do it,” Bonnie says as Scruffy drops a very disoriented Max and runs to Team Yaoi with the blade. He presses it into Julia’s palms. “I think you guys lost this,”

For a second, her harsh glare melts and she smiles sincerely. “Thank you. But what about-”

“I can handle economy,” Scruffy shrugs. “You’re better than winning. Plus, Team Mojo is nowhere to be seen, and I’d rather let them take the fall.”

“Hey!” Max shouts from afar. "My girlfr-"

"Shut it!" Julia yells, and then nods gratefully and returns to Team Yaoi. Ass mumbles “About time,” and the five of them toss their artifact into the volcano.

“Team Yaoi has won the challenge! Finally!” Chris shouts. "First class for all of you!"

Scruffy beams and begins walking to the mouth of the volcano, just for the host to put an arm in their way, blocking the team. “Not so fast, compadre. You still have a musical number to perform,”

“What?” Scruffy blinks. “I-I mean, sure, but- now?”

“Now or elimination, bud!”

“But you let Cody from the original World Tour off the hook all the time!”

“What can I say? I’m a changed man. Let’s hear it!”

Scruffy stutters and stammers, caught off guard. Their team behind them goads them on, but it’s too late- within seconds, Team Mojo appears and Michela, obsidian figurine in hand, single-handedly throws a perfect long pass into the volcano.

“And with that, Team Mojo has avoided elimination!” Chris grins. “You know, on second thought, Scruffy- fair is fair. I’ll let you off the hook this time. See you at the elimination ceremony!”

They laugh nervously and turn to their unimpressed teammates.

---

Within the hulking metal frame of the plan, Chris stands before a flower paper background, atop a podium. Team Friendship is lined on a set of wooden bleachers against the wall, none looking too happy.

“Team Friendship, due to a marginal error, you came in last. So, it’s vote time! Up in the loser-class bathroom you’ll find six passports. Stamp the passport of the team member you’d like to send home, and meet me back here for your results,”

---

Phillip holds up a passport to the camera and stamps out Scruffy.

---

Max sighs and thinks aloud. “Scruffy is a capable player, but I can’t let them throw the win for some girl. I’d understand if it were Michela, but Julia?” He stamps out Scruffy.

---

Bonnie thinks for a moment, and then sighs and palms their forehead. They stamp out Phillip.

---

“I TRIED to sing. I keep telling everyone that- I’ve been waiting to sing for years!” Scruffy says. “I take lessons!” they sigh and stamp out Max.

---

Staci and Kelly giggle while using the ink from the stamp to draw smiley faces and flowers on each other’s shoulders.

---

“I’ve got the results of your votes right here. Those staying in the game will get in-flight snacks,” Chris holds up a bag of pretzels and then rolls his eyes as Scruffy makes a face. “What? Pretzels are cheaper right now!”

“The following players are safe- Kelly

Staci

Bonnie

And Max,”

The respective contestants catch their pretzels and look up.

“The last bag of pretzels… goes to…”

“Phillip. Sorry, Scruffy. You’re out!”

Scruffy sighs and their shoulders droop. Chris tosses them a parachute, which they put on with expert speed and professionalism.

“Been training for that too, huh?” Chris chuckles. They shrug.

Scruffy walks up to the open door of the plane and turns back. “Wait- Bonnie- I want you to give this to Jules!” they say, tossing Bonnie the necklace they never got to sacrifice. “Tell her I'm rooting for her!”

“Um... why me?” the goth asks, raising an eyebrow.

Scruffy smiles. “I think you get it more than anyone else,” and with that, they jump. Bonnie blinks.

---

BONNIE: “Okay, I had one heartfelt conversation on national TV and now everyone thinks I’m cupid or something?”

---

“Can’t win ‘em all, I guess,” Chris shrugs, then turns to the audience. “Who will win? And who will jump? Find out next time, on Total Takes: World Tour!”

#ttwt #total takes world tour

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gardenerian · 2 years

Note

Just came across this anon ask about Ian and breakfast. You have thesis level ideas for Ian making breakfast? Well. How about:

5 times Ian made breakfast (in various emotional states? Or not. Your thesis) +1 time someone made him breakfast 😁

cw for bipolar mania, reference to domestic abuse, mild blood and injury

also posted here here

It’s even colder somehow; colder still than it was yesterday morning. At this point in the winter, Ian thinks he should be used to it by now. But it’s still somehow colder this morning.

The heat’s been out all week.

Ian pulls on extra layers before creeping down the stairs, not wanting to visibly shiver under Fiona’s guilty gaze. It’s not her fault. She’s doing everything she can.

Including, it seems, working another overnight shift at that seedy motel a few miles from the house. She’s nowhere to be found when he reaches the bottom of the back staircase - the kitchen is quiet and still in the pale, thin light of the morning.

Ian grabs his hat from the kitchen table and pushes his stiff limbs towards the coffeemaker. There’s only a scoopful of grounds left in the tin - he uses just half of it to get the coffee going.

It’ll be watered down and unsatisfying, but it’ll be hot enough. They can make do again tomorrow.

And maybe he’ll lift a new tin when he stops by the Kash and Grab again after school today.

Linda Karib turned him down for a job yesterday, arching an eyebrow and telling him to come back next year when he’s old enough to work. Kash stood behind her, eyes wide and jaw slack.

Ian thinks he might have more luck if he goes back today and talks to him.

He has to start earning.

Lip stumbles down the stairs as the coffee starts brewing, grunting at Ian in greeting and rubbing sleep from his eyes. He grabs a poptart from the cabinet and raises it to his temple in salute before disappearing out the door for a tutoring session.

Lip’s bringing in cash, Fiona’s hurtling from gig to gig like a pinball shot by the force of their poverty. And Ian’s standing quietly in the kitchen, thinking through which foodbanks to hit this weekend.

The kids will be scrambling downstairs soon, in search of breakfast and warmer clothes. Ian eyes the clock; Fiona’s not back yet.

He pours himself a mug of coffee water and hunts through the cabinets. Lip took the last poptart and there’s maybe half a bowl of cereal. They’ll need the rest of the milk for Liam, anyways.

They ran out of eggs earlier in the week. Ian adds them to his list of items to steal.

There’s enough oatmeal left for a small pot, and Ian’s stirring in an old, hardened clump of brown sugar when Debbie and Carl trudge downstairs, Liam in tow.

“Fuckin’ freezing in here,” Carl groans, handing Liam to Debbie, whose hands shake as she settles him into the highchair.

“Put on your hats,” Ian tells them. “Scarves, too.”

He ladles some oatmeal in bowls, saving some for Fiona in case she comes back in time. There’s a single, browning banana on the counter - Ian slices it up for Liam.

“Grab him some milk, will ya, Debs?” he asks, setting their bowls on the table. Carl looks down at the thick, lumpy oatmeal, rightfully unimpressed. But it’s the best he’s got.

It’s cold in here. It’s cold outside. Ian can’t get the heat turned back on. The best he can do is fill their bellies with something warm.

Fiona rushes through the back door then, freezing air whipping in behind her.

“Sorry,” she breathes, running a hand down her tired face. She moves to unzip her coat before thinking better of it, zipping it up further as she closes the door.

“I got off late, missed my bus,” she explains. “I think there’s enough breakfast, I can make something - ”

She cuts herself off when Ian hands her a cup of watered down coffee, shrugging in apology at the lack of milk or sugar.

Fiona takes the mug with a sigh. She brings it to her face and presses the ceramic to her cheek. Ian hopes, at least, that the heat is warming her hands through those threadbare gloves.

She sits down across from Liam, running a hand over his curls.

Ian sets a bowl in front of her. His sister looks down at it through watering eyes: the chipped rim, the pathetic serving of hardening breakfast at the bottom.

She looks to Liam, Debbie, Carl. Checks to see that they’ve eaten at least some of their meal. Her body goes slack when she notes that they’ve made it through another morning.

The day can begin, they can fight their way to the next one.

“You get any?” she asks Ian, spoon halted above her bowl.

“All good,” he lies through his teeth. The warm coffee in his belly will hold him over until -

Oh shit.

“We got anything to make for lunches?”

The world is glowing this morning.

Chicago is alive and the bass from the club is still thumping in his skull as his feet pound the pavement.

The sun roars over Lake Michigan, sending the skyline up in flames as it rises. The grainy photos on his phone don’t do it justice, this feeling. The crackling wonder in his skin as he watches the city burst forth into a new day.

But he can’t wait to show Mickey.

He was asleep when Ian crept out into the dark morning, breath even and deep at last after tossing and turning for most of the night. His body was tense in sleep, tight under the weight of his worries.

Mandy slept in Lip’s room, battered and bruised and just out of reach.

Ian’s not sure if she actually slept last night. He hovered in front of the door when he got back from work and again before heading out for his run, knocking lightly just once.

If she heard him, she didn’t make a sound.

The world feels massive as Ian moves through it, making his way back home. Unknowable, but conquerable. His for the fucking taking.

He wonders if Mandy and Mickey ever got to feel like this. Powerful - like even if the threads of their lives are frayed and splitting, they have the power to reknot them into something unbreakable.

There’s something waiting for him. Something fucking huge. It’s just on the edge of his mind, right at his fingertips, waiting to be known. He can just feel the shape of it.

And when he’s able to make that surge forward — when he’s able to pull it close and make it his — he’s going to give it to them.

To Mandy, to Mickey. His family. He’s buzzing with want; with the need to give them all of him.

The morning has fully overtaken the sky by the time he gets home. His siblings are scattered, spinning out across Chicago. There is so much to be done.

There is so much to be done.

Every item on his list ricochets across his mind as he pulls off his hat and peeks around for any sign of life downstairs. There are footsteps above him; they’ll be down soon.

Mandy needs somewhere safe stay or he’ll find her here and take her back and maybe next time Mickey won’t be there to take her away and Mickey needs more cash for the baby and his wife fuck he has a wife still and he has an idea that could make them rich if Lip would help him and Lip hasn’t been back in a while and he hasn’t seen Fiona in days there’s a kink in his neck he needs to stretch more and the kids what’s going on with the kids has he really been so distracted is Frank even still alive he needs more eyeliner he’s working again tonight isn’t he -

There has to be somewhere to start. There has to be somewhere to start today. A way to begin. Then he can give them all the world.

He’s flipping pancakes when Mickey comes downstairs.

Everyone cleared out a while ago.

He’d meant it, when he told them he didn’t want to do anything today. They’ll all have to get on without him anyways. And he wants to be here.

Ian’s not sure when he’ll be here again.

He wanders from room to room, letting his hand run lightly along faded, worn walls. He remembers his family living their lives within these walls, growing up alongside the many versions of himself.

Bounding from his room with Lip in hot pursuit, laughing and shoving each other towards the stairs. Holding Liam, hushing and soothing, walking up and down the hall when he cried at night. Bathtime, playtime, bedtime.

He remembers kissing Mickey against these walls.

With a heavy chest Ian heads downstairs, pausing to touch the bat hanging in its place. He feels sick for a moment, wondering if they’ll need it while he’s gone.

He walks past the aquarium tank, the decrepit couch, the box of Franny’s toys shoved in the corner of the living room.

The kitchen is quiet, his siblings having long since deserted the house.

Of all the rooms he’ll miss, he thinks he’ll miss this one most. Its soft yellow glow, the well-worn table and chairs where Gallagher history unfolds.

The plans hatched over cups of coffee, the long conversations over ice cream or beers. Confessions, realizations. The bustling lives of the people he loves.

He’s not sure when he’ll be here again.

It’s a little late for breakfast, and there’s no one here to eat with him. That’s the way it’s been lately, anyways. Rushed bowls of cereal before heading off and away from each other. A far cry from the mounds of scrambled eggs and plates of bacon Fiona used to churn out before she hurried them off to school.

Still, he’s cracking an egg before he realizes what he’s doing. Adds a bit of milk. He whisks in flour and sugar, digs around the cabinet for some baking powder.

Ian’s never been a great cook. Neither of them are - it was always about quantity rather than quality in this house. Enough calories to get through the day without also bankrupting them.

But breakfast. Ian’s always been pretty good at breakfast.

It’s easy, methodical. He can cycle through the steps in the comfort of this kitchen. Whether the mornings are bustling and chaotic or quiet and lonely, it all seems to come together over breakfast.

The bananas fold easily into the batter, the smell of them warm and sweet. Familiar. Comforting, like a moment he can just remember. Mickey, probably. Drowning his stack of pancakes in syrup before eating half the stack in one bite.

And maybe that’s why he made them despite not being that hungry. To indulge his senses in something soft, something that makes him feel safe. Things are about to become so harsh.

They’re perfectly warm and golden when Ian sits down to eat alone.

The plastic tray isn’t quite big enough to handle all of this, but Ian refuses to take a second trip. He refuses to be away from Mickey for any moment longer than necessary.

He wasn’t supposed to show up yesterday, busting through his bedroom window and then setting up shop like he never left. Ian had a plan for Mickey’s homecoming and this wasn’t it.

But it’s not like he’d send Mickey back for a chance at a welcome home do-over, so Ian’s made it work.

It’s late in the day: far closer to lunch than breakfast. Everyone has already pretty much cleared out of the house, likely to save themselves from their continued reunion.

Ian let Mickey sleep though, sitting up in bed to watch the morning light creep across the room. He can’t believe it. Mickey’s here. After so long and so much - he’s here, sleeping in that cramped twin bed again.

Last night was a fucking nightmare. Paula scares him - she fucking scares him, and there’s a deep, aching worry that has taken up residence in his bones.

But he won’t let that touch this morning.

It’s a struggle to push open the door while balancing the tray of food, but Mickey doesn’t stir when Ian stumbles into the room. Last night was the hardest they’d both slept in a while, wrapped up together again.

“Hey,” Ian whispers, setting the food down on the little bedside table. “Mick, wake up.”

He runs a hand over Mickey’s hair, fluffy and soft after his long post-fuck shower late last night. Mickey leans into the touch, smiling as he blinks awake.

“Hey yourself,” he murmurs, voice heavy with sleep. Ian loves him so much he thinks he might die. “You’re up early.”

Ian snorts. “Mickey, it’s almost noon.”

“Shit, really? Fuck, I could go for a few more hours, man.”

“You can stay in here all day if you want,” Ian tells him, sitting on the edge of the bed and patting Mickey on the leg. “Just thought you might wanna eat some non-prison breakfast.”

“Oh, fuck yeah,” Mickey says, sitting up and stretching. Ian is mesmerized.

It’s been years since he last watched Mickey come to life in this bed. By the end of those long, painful days, Ian didn’t even stop to appreciate the way Mickey’s nose crinkled up as he yawned.

He’ll never make that mistake again.

Ian leans in for a kiss, marveling at the fact that he can touch Mickey with leisure again. No visitation room glass, no hiding from unfriendly prison guards, no looking over their shoulders for border patrol.

Boundless time, for the first time in their lives.

“It’s not the big spread you were supposed to have,” Ian says with mock irritation. “But since you showed up early, I guess two somewhat stale toaster strudels, this questionable thing of yogurt, a bunch of grapes, and some toast will have to do.”

“God,” Mickey groans, reaching out his hands, “as long as there’s coffee and no instant prison eggs, I literally do not care.”

Ian laughs, passing over a mug of hot coffee. “I’ll take you out later,” he promises.

“Don’t have to do that,” Mickey says, face in his mug. “I’m cool to eat crap with you as long as you don’t get out of this bed all day either.”

He snags a grape from the tray, smiling as it bursts across his tongue.

“Deal.”

He’ll take Mickey out one day soon. Give him everything he deserves, at last. But there’s time.

They have time.

Ian wakes up sluggish and embarrassed.

They fought last night - or something like it. Quick and loud and hot with shame.

He’s been up, elevated. He knew it. He knew Mickey knew it. It’s just been one of those episodes to cycle through, to keep track of and get over, adding another notch in his fucking belt.

His meds are fine.

His moods are fine.

He’s just. He’s more. Ian can hear himself talking, he knows it’s too much too fast too many burning gulps of breath before moving onto the next thing - but he can’t stop himself.

There’s so much in him right now, and he can’t stand to let it waste away.

He was cooking last night. Chopping peppers and onions for a spicy dish he thought Mickey would like. The blade moved of its own accord, gliding across the cutting board in a way that felt controlled, practiced.

Ian felt skilled, despite never having tried this before. He felt clear, steady.

He tossed the veggies in the skillet, relishing in the smell of spices and the crackling of oil.

“Jesus,” Mickey said, appearing behind him at the counter, voice laced with that familiar apprehension. “Should turn that fuckin’ flame down, man.”

“It’s fine,” Ian muttered, focused on his herbs. “Gotta add the sauce in a sec.”

“Ian, it’s too high,” Mickey warned, shoving around him to lower the heat. “Gonna set the smoke alarm off if it - what the fuck is that?”

“Cilantro,” Ian said, brows knit in confusion, “you’ve tried it before.” He moved to turn the heat back up, but Mickey grabbed at his wrist.

“Not that, jackass,” he snapped, bringing Ian’s hand closer to his face. “You’re bleeding all over the fuckin’ place.”

It wasn’t until Mickey said it that Ian felt the pain. Breathless, startling. He hadn’t even noticed it; hadn’t seen the blood staining his fingers or spattering the cutting board.

“Oh,” he breathed as Mickey turned off the burner altogether and pulled him to the sink. “Shit, I didn’t realize.”

“You didn’t realize you’d cut your hand open?”

And it was there again. The edge of panic, the shake in Mickey’s voice as he spoke. It scared Ian as much as it pissed him off.

“No, I didn’t, so it’s not so bad,” he insisted, even as he winced when Mickey started to clean him up.

“Not so bad,” Mickey muttered, studying Ian’s split skin closely, probably trying to decide if it needed a stitch. “Jesus fuck, Ian.”

To his credit, Ian didn’t yank his hand away. He didn’t snap, he didn’t storm off. He didn’t tear the sky down and burn it in the smoldering ash of his fucking mood.

Not right then, anyways.

“Come on, Mick,” he argued instead. “It’s not that bad. Just put a bandage on it and let’s finish dinner.”

Mickey had stilled then, looking up at him with narrowed eyes.

“I’ll order a pizza,” he said thinly. “We gotta figure this out.”

“What is there to figure out? I wasn’t careful, I nicked myself. It’s fine.”

“Ian,” Mickey breathed, voice going soft. Ian felt himself getting pissed off again. “I thought we were past this. We’re a team here, remember?”

“Of course,” he replied, firm in his agreement even if he was getting fucking angry. He always hates this part. When they talk to him like he’s an idiot. Like he’s not even there.

“Then tell me you get this,” Mickey sighed. “You gotta know what’s going on.”

Ian finally wrenched his hand away. Mickey’s face fell, and Ian almost offered it back. But he felt the sky come down, and he couldn’t stop it.

“You think I don’t know?” Ian said, incredulous. “You really think that by now I don’t know?”

It’s unfair, really. How fucking hard he has to work to keep himself in line. To keep his voice level, to keep his chest from heaving. To keep the burning in his throat from reaching his eyes - keeping them open, but not too wide. Keeping them clear and free of those stinging tears.

How goddamn hard he always has to work so they won’t write him off as hypomanic without hearing him. To take him seriously, even if he’s sick.

They never mean to. They’re always trying. But he can always see them file it away, focusing on the symptoms instead of on him. They can’t always help it. But he always knows.

“You hurt yourself, Ian.”

“It was an accident!” Ian cried. “It could have happened either way! I know what’s going on, Mickey. We already talked about it. I did what I was supposed to do. I talked to my doctor and she didn’t think I needed to change anything. You know this.”

“That doesn’t mean you can just ignore it, Ian. We gotta talk about it more. You can’t let this get worse!”

“And what do you want me to say,” Ian snapped, leaving the would-be dinner on the stove and stomping out to the living room. Mickey followed behind, socked feet padding quickly to keep up. “That I’m fully aware that I’m sick right now? That I did what I was fucking told and I’m still like this? That I can see you watching me all the time? Why do we have to have an intervention every time? You know it, and I know it. What do you need me to fucking say?”

Mickey was quiet for a moment. He looked down at the floor while Ian struggled to catch his breath. When he looked up again, his eyes were bright.

“I know this fucking sucks for you. M’not saying you need to rush back to the clinic, Ian. But you need to be careful. You need to try to slow down and you need to let me fucking help you.”

He knew. He was just so fucking tired of having to talk about it.

But he always catches up, eventually. So he nodded sharply and gave Mickey what he wanted. What Ian knew he needed, anyways.

Ian crossed the floor again, heading back to the kitchen and rummaging through their drawer for his sedatives. He swallowed one down dry - Mickey appeared in the corner of his eye, leaning against the corner.

“We’ll make a plan tomorrow,” Ian said lowly, hanging his head and walking back to their bedroom. He touched Mickey’s arm briefly as he passed; the only apology he had the strength to offer in the moment.

As the familiar heaviness of the drug claimed him, Ian felt Mickey slide into bed next him.

This morning he wakes up alone. And maybe this shouldn’t surprise him given last night, but his heart still sinks at the coolness of Mickey’s side.

Ian takes his time brushing his teeth, washing the sleepy daze from his face. When he walks out to the living room, he’s surprised again to find it empty.

He’d anticipated finding Mickey on the couch, coffee in hand and ready to talk.

Instead, Mickey’s in the kitchen.

The dishes from last night’s failed culinary attempt are put away. There’s a familiar pink box on the counter - chocolate cream, no doubt.

The kettle is whistling. Ian notes two mugs with tea bags waiting. No coffee. Too much caffeine.

“Shit,” Mickey hisses from his place at the counter. He’s slicing up strawberries.

Ian clears his throat, moving into the kitchen to grab the kettle. He pours the water over the tea bags, watching the golden color bloom in their mugs. It smells bright, clean. Like a new morning.

“Hey,” Mickey says. He scoops the berries into a bowl and pads across the kitchen to kiss Ian on the cheek. “I know you don’t like to eat a lot after taking one of those, but - I dunno. Thought you might like somethin’ nice.”

Nice.

Last night wasn’t nice. Ian was not nice. Sometimes it takes over faster than he can see it, the nastiness. The barbs that defend him from his own shame - for a moment.

But, god, he would like something nice. He would like his life to be nice. He would like to be nice. Good, as he always thought he could be.

Ian nods, throat too clogged to speak. He takes the bowl from Mickey and places it on their dining table. Mickey follows behind with their teas.

They’ll talk. They’ll make a plan to fix this, revisit their plans for future episodes. They’ll talk about how Ian felt cornered. About how fucking scared Mickey felt. About how sorry they are, how they wish they’d handled it all more gently.

But they’ll also talk about this: in the grand arc of their lives, this was just a flash. For a moment — a brief, hideous moment — it felt like the end of the fucking world. It was serious, and it was real.

It just wasn’t bigger than them.

They’ll have a slow day. They’ll take their time with each other. They’ll share the berries on their kitchen table. Later Mickey will bring Ian a chocolate cream, and when Ian leans in to kiss him, he’ll taste the sweetness on his tongue.

#this is a 4 + 1 my brain is broken apologies #this is unedited as usual #ily chrissy #tumblr writing

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karla-the-elemental-dreamer · 5 months

Text

Man I have been through so much in the etheric realms in the last few days [/nights]. Wasn't sure whether to share or not; but with 18-Volt all-of-a-sudden seeming to come back, and some nasty energetic truths about Jak's situation, I thought these insights were worth being put up. This stems from Jak missing for days or even weeks, and the episodes getting increasingly worse. They are divided into 2 parts: Part 1 is the conversation that 18-Volt had with me, in which Terra monitored/supervised it at 18-Volt's request. Part 2 is where my teddy group (OCs) called a meeting, and Riku was kind enough to attend as well.

--------------------------------------

PART 1: 18-VOLT'S CONVERSATION (+Terra)

18-Volt (ESFP): "Hey, so on my little scouting sesh, I found out a few things about Jak, and they're not good".

Me: "You're not undermining him, are you?"

18-Volt: "Naw; not at all. See I've become casual buddies with Terra and agreed to let him have me on a leash a bit; that's why he's watchin' me talk to you. How else am I supposed to come back and help if people don't trust me?".

Me: "So then you may have something valuable to offer me about Jak, especially since you were giving me a massive amount of downloads while I was washing stuff earlier today".

18-Volt: "Yeah... You see, Jak might actually be quite sick, and you chasing after him this time is unhealthy, because you're gonna get poisoned yourself".

Me: "I've actually felt that poisoning since yesterday. What's going on?".

18-Volt: "Choice point for timelines is almost up; and you're dead on about Jak taking the lower one".

Me: "Ah shoot".

18-Volt: "My advice? Tack on that 50k cash grab now and ONLY reverse it if he makes a strong comeback. Even a medium one ain't good enough. That ABTD needs to truly show that it's not gonna glitch ya again, otherwise what's the point?".

Me: "You have a point there. The ABTD only started taking me seriously after I tacked on the $45,000 one and gave it the option for reversals".

18-Volt: "Uh huh! But whatever you do, you can't descend in order to clean out messes anymore. Because you've got an energy that behaves like the Wario-bug, that's eating up all the lower timelines. And you don't wanna be in its way".

Me: "Dammit".

18-Volt: "Not all's lost yet, okay? You could have an 18-Volt 2.0 moment where Jak wakes up and rushes back to you. But you can't get your hands dirty anymore; he has to come to you. Just like I said, go slam dunk that cash grab [50k] and work with the fallout of that. But you need to stay on the upper rungs with Terra because that man really loves you to the moon and back".

Me: "Okay, so I've just now applied the $50,000 penalty, as well as an additional $15,000 due to the promise of lassoing the ABTD if two of Jak's friends weren't able to come with him. 50k for him, and 7.5k for them".

18-Volt: "See? You're a champ! You've got a lotta love for everyone you meet. But Jak's gotta see that AND put it into practice. Because at the moment, you're asking daddy [Jak] to go to your school concerts and visit your art fairs, but he couldn't give a shit and just stays home being all miserable, making his daughter cry because he doesn't want tah support her in anything".

Me: "You put it in a harsh, but clear and honest perspective".

18-Volt: "Because also think about it this way. Who's been doing most of your rescue aids? Every time Jak's in trouble, Kingdom Hearts always rushes to your side. But when it's been the opposite, Jak does the bare minimum, if anything. Don't 'cha see that he's the one not wanting to connect with other worlds? Don't let him short-change you anymore. You've gotta leave him be until he chooses to come back or gets the shock of his life. And I know what you're thinking. You were supposed to have three at a time protecting you. I don't wanna steal Jak's thunder, but I'll take up the third slot, and I'll gladly give it back to him if he shows up for it".

-------------------------------------

PART 2: MEETING BETWEEN THE TEDDIES (+Riku)

The name 'The Mistress' is used quite a lot in this section, this is what the teddies always called me when I was little, and it's like saying The Princess.

Chloe-Nurse (?): "What's going on!? Why are we all meeting here?"

Selvian (INFJ): Sam saw something that no one has ever seen before".

Chloe-Nurse (?): "And?".

Selvian (INFJ): "She saw Jak crying in his room, which is something he hasn't even done since his father died. And... Uhh...".

Riku (DG - ISFP): "Looks like we're getting an energy interruption. Almost like someone doesn't want him on the higher timeline".

Nadia (ISTJ): "I question that 18-Volt guy ever since he's come back. Why does he have such an interest in Jak? I've heard not too good things about him [18V] in the past".

Riku (DG - ISFP): "With what Terra reported back, it seems like he just gets angry at anyone who tries to hurt Karla, and I've seen him do that before, with other people before, including myself actually. It seems the Warioware group already have knowledge on the situation as Jimmy T., Kat and Ana, and Ashley filled shortly the last time our abilities were compromised. So 18-Volt's just being a bit passionate in flipping his lid at Jak about the whole drama. But Dreamy WB [she] and myself are keeping a close eye on him".

Niki (ENFJ): "I actually think that if it wasn't for 18-Volt, Jak wouldn't even flinch at what's going on. Jak's crying because something must have hit a raw nerve, whether it's 18-Volt, or maybe he [Jak] saw the mistress striking down that $50,000 penalty today".

Mabo (INFP): "The ABTD's trying to stop her [me], but Jak is still seeking help in the background".

Riku (DG - ISFP): "Exactly".

Chloe-Fashion (?): "See? It's 18-Volt that's making Jak fight for his life [in a good way]. But how exactly is he [Jak] getting help?

Selvian (INFJ): "Jak has asked to see Josephine [INFJ] for regular counselling, and their first session I think was two days ago... Or was it yesterday?".

Chloe-Fashion (?): "She's [me] still poisoned though. How is it possible for the mistress to even get back to him, yet alone recover from this?".

Sabrina (ESTJ): "18-Volt actually said that it's still possible, but that it won't be easy".

Selvian (INFJ): "18-Volt's right. This is yet another battle, but this time with some bridges that must never be crossed; which is why the mistress must stay out of this. While Riku and Terra protect her, we need our strongest men and women in Haven City, which means Sabrina and I will be going for a few weeks obviously with Simona and Sam alone having no luck. Josephine takes over admin duties at home while Angela becomes the second tutor".

Samantha/Sam (INFP): "What about Kingdom Hearts?"

Selvian (INFJ): "Kingdom Hearts has shown that they can look after themselves, especially by Riku being here at this meeting. Sierra will stay behind with them, and work with Terra's girls, Nasha and Sibella. But Sabrina and I need to get to the bottom of this evil still lurking in Haven City, and we need to make sure Jak continues to see Joesphine on a regular basis until his problem is sorted out. It is likely that we won't be coming back without Jak".

Sam (INFP): "So you'll be stuck there forever?"

Nasha (ESFP): "What 'chu worrying about anyway, Samantha? You're one of Jak's original girls, so you can go there any time".

Riku (DG - ISFP): "I think she's more worried about Selv and Sabrina's safety and you guys getting to see each other again as a whole group".

Nasha (ESFP): "And why do you have to do this anyhow? Wasn't it over once the mistress shoved that 65 grand fine up the ABTD's ass?".

Selvian (INFJ): "She only did that as a last measure in-case the ABTD is stupid enough to never give him back. The $65,000 is a cap for if worldly events become too stressful and intense that she, or any of us, have no hope of getting him back. But until the very last day, we never ever give up. And until then, there is always a chance for the penalty to be reversed, whether partially or fully. Now no one tell her this, but we're gonna try as hard as we can to get him back for Christmas".

------------------------------------

I've never assigned or known the personality for any of the Chloe's.

For the nurse, I'm thinking ESTP. And for the fashion stylist, I'm thinking ENFP like Sierra.

#oc #karla #dreamer #riku #terra #jak #dream guide #challenge #mental blockage #blockage #18 volt #loyalty #protection #choice point

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luminberry · 2 years

Note

"You must be starving!" "Yeah... I could eat."

ehehee ALRIGHT SO..im gonna introduce my two new lads, the twins Atticus and Jericho! Both fun loving lawmen of course from the M/P/N heist missions.

reader goofed up trying to break in somewhere under their jurisdiction..it doesn't go how they expect. and imma try some new things with this one so, if ya read it i hope ya dont mind tellin me how it goes :o

there is fatal vore but im trying something i saw and its going to be wholesome since respawn is canon here.

You normally weren't desperate enough to risk doing stupid shit like theft and breaking into certain places in broad daylight. But after getting involved with SQ and trying to make a enterprise for yourself, money was unfortunately a very serious need. And most of the jobs you did off and on didn't quite pay enough to get things done let alone keep the lights on.

Fuck whoever it was in Nevada who set the price of living this damn high, you had a empire to make to save the world. And yet you needed ample amounts of cash to even get around to doing the basics, like pay your growing number of underlings a living wage and keeping the lights on.

Soo...things like theft and the like slowly became a thing you did. You didn't steal from hard working grunts like yourself however, more like the bastards at Nexus and the like. Doc had given you more than enough information to know they wouldn't miss a few hundred thousand or three, it'd all circulate back into the system anyways!

If anything, you summarized to yourself, you were doing a good for the community by giving several dozen grunts money to spend on things and boost the livelihood of other businesses in the city.

So now here you were..breaking into a damn bank of all things in the middle of the day..or whatever time it was right now. Telling time was very hard when a certain someone murdered the sun of all goddamned things.

You had a few of your more dependable underlings along for the ride, they were hiding nearby while you got to work picking the lock to the back entrance of the building where security seemed to be the lightest. For the moment things seemed to be going rather smoothly, you had even did a bit of scouting the place out ahead of time instead of your usual antics of just running in absolutely blind and hoping for the best when the shit hit the fan.

Upon hearing the satisfying click of the lock sliding open you waved your group over and slipped inside, wedging a rock into the door to keep it over for a fast getaway..it did always pay to make sure you had a exit strategy, you learned that your first few days of trying to get your empire up and going.

Finding the vault was easy at least, they made it almost blatantly obvious in fact by the damn alarm lights and guards positioned around it. Getting in was of course going to be a hard task but thats why you brought back up.

No sooner than you sent your group in to clear the way did all hell of course break loose. The alarms began blaring while you ran to start breaking into the vault while your group defended your progress.

Minutes seemed to tick by slowly as your progress went at a snails pace, your group was thankfully holding their ground against the onslaught. You did your best to drown out the hellishly loud alarms and sounds of gunfire raging all around you until the first door opened with a satisfying groan of metal.

"Alright guys hurry up and help me start grabbing the bags, we need to get this shit to the car before the next wave arrives."

Your group wasn't faring exactly too well, but least they were all still alive and that's what counted honestly. The lot of you ran inside to start tearing open doors and dumping handfuls of cash into bags with outright manic energy.

Before long you had six bags bulging with cash and whatever else your group could get their hands on. You sent two of your group to run back to the van to drop the goods off while the rest went back out to stand guard while you got to work opening the second set of doors. You were sure things would be going smoothly from this point on, they already sent a huge chunk of officers only to lose em all in matter of a few minutes to your group.

You were fairly sure today would be a easy payday for once.

As you got to work getting the second set of doors to open up, chaos resumed as somehow to your surprise, more officers came rushing in to try and put a stop to your groups little antics.

Unable to really keep a eye on things outside like you were able to for the first set of doors, it wasn't until you cracked the seal some several stressful minutes later did something seem off, you chalked it up to the mounting stress of having to keep everyone in line and get out in one piece, which was the damn case for every mission these days...It was probably why you didn't have much money since everyone kept dying.

"Alright guys, I need two of you to help me get this back to the car, there's too much for me to do it without making several trips!" Two of your more faster teammates came running back to lend a hand getting the cash stashed away for easy transport, tiredly laughing and joking about what all they'd spend their pay on already. The others, while tired agreed to stand watch while the three of you ran the bags out. With any luck you'd all be done with plenty of time to spare to maybe even hit Gil's up for some burgers as a job well done.

As your little group tossed the first few bags into the back of the van idling beside the back entrance, a commotion lit up over your radios. The sounds of your two teammates left behind yelling in confusion and alarm before being cut rather abruptly. Giving a worried look to your two companions you tossed the rest of the loot in and made a run for the vault to see what became of the rest of your team.

As you rounded the corner your group stopped dead at the sight before you all. Your teammates were very much dead, taken out and almost smeared against the doors of the vault. And standing in front of them were two hulking figures dressed in two long coats of dusty brown and faded denim blue. Your arrival doesn't go unnoticed by the two newcomers unfortunately as the one in blue turns to look at you all.

"Well now, glad tha rest of y'all decided ta finally join us. Unfortunately for these two..they weren't much for talkin. I do hope that ain't tha same case for y'all as well or I'm jus gonna be rather put out."

The light coming off the overhead bulbs made his yellow glasses glow with an almost hostile familiarity that made your chest tighten in fear. The two of them easily had two feet and then some over you and your group, they didn't look like Gol3ms or M4gs..and that alone made the heavy sick feeling of fear in your chest grow worse with each passing second.

Seconds ticked by and the grunt in blue seemed to grin and turn to fully face you, as did the one in the brown coat. You needed to act fast before the mission turned to shit, you needed to get the money out of here..But you barely had any ammo left and you were dead certain these two weren't lightweights.

A stupid and outright foolhardy plan quickly came together. It would mean your likely death but the mission would still succeed. It just needed to work for the scant few seconds you'd need to get the ball rolling.

Good thing you carried flashbangs with you.

Tossing out two in front of the strangers you reeled back and hauled your two remaining teammates back as the grenades detonated, causing the two left behind to let out abrupt noises of confusion and alarm.

Yanking your group clear into safety you pulled them close and gave them their orders.

"We're fucked, that much is dead certain. But we can still get a payday, I'll keep em both distracted, I need you two to get in the van and floor it."

"B-but Boss we can't leave ya! That's a death sentence, you saw how fuckin built those two are you wouldn't last more than a few seconds."

"That's all we need and you're wasting it! Get going damnit, and if I'm lucky I'll meet you back at base in the infirmary with the others, now get fuckin going!"

You all but shoved them down the hall from whence you came and squared yourself for the outright asskicking you were about to receive. As you turned to head back to the vault the sounds of two pairs of boots met your ears, followed by a set of hearty laughs.

"Well now ain't that somethin? Savin yer lil teammates by givin yerself up huh? Haven't seen that inna coons age, and here I thought we'd have a slow day today Atty."

"Reckon yer right there Jeri, first time inna long while I've seen someone jus give themselves up ta save someone else..Not that it'll really stop us from doin our job here, y'all did just rob a bank in broad daylight."

The fact that they weren't straight out gunning you down made you pause..course it was probably obvious you had very little fight left in you, you were exhausted from trying to keep everyone else alive and keep the vault cracking going during active gunfire of all things.. These two could probably kill you in one hit and were just wasting time for fun.

"Yeah well....well I had no choice okay! We needed the money pretty badly. I don't care what happens now, I got what I wanted for my crew to prosper.. So whatever happens next happens."

You were fine with death, you had a damn fine medic back at base anyways that'd bring you back and put you back together again..What you weren't expecting was the two of them to give each other a odd look before grinning again at you in that oddly unnerving way.

"Well, I'll give y'all credit for stickin ta yer guns, but tha laws tha law and we gotta take ya in one way or another. So if ya come quietly with us I'll promise things will go alot smoother than havin than tha hard way."

"Jeris right darlin, no use fussin n fightin with us...Ain't no point there jus wastin yer energy. So c'mere and we'll take good care of ya, think of it as a reward for makin our day a lil easier. We tried givin yer friends tha same option but..Course they proved ta be rather stubborn n downright rude."

They acted like this was a chore they didn't feel like going through all the trouble of doing..Something about that rubbed you the wrong way and made you angry, you couldn't fight..But you damn sure could run and make their day all the more worse. You didn't owe them shit, they killed your teammates and are more than likely going to kill you, or just arrest you by the sounds of things.

And god you didn't want to waste money posting bail of all goddamn things. You pushed yourself and took off at a dead sprint out the nearby back doors without a word, the two lawmen yelling for you to stop before more than likely taking off after you.

"Hey now, get yer lil backside back here!"

"Y'all really gonna pull this hogwash after we said we'd go easy on ya?? Well now ain't that just plain rude!"

You'd laugh if you weren't sprinting away like your demise was biting at the skin of your heels, cause well it probably was knowing your luck. The streets weren't too crowded given the local law enforcement probably cleared everyone out by force leaving you plenty of open space to try and find a route those two massive bastards couldn't follow you through.

Ducking a sharp left and nearly falling into the alley you were trying to slip through, you nearly let out a scream seeing just how damn close they were. They had easily closed the gap between you and were damn near a hands breath away from just grabbing at you, the one in blue saw your panicked glance and grinned as he tried to swipe at you.

"What're ya lookin spooked for? Y'all should know what ya signed up for sugar! Not lettin ya get away that easy now, gotta do better than that ta shake tha likes of us~"

He didn't even sound fucking winded, it almost sounded like he was having fun running you down..Oh god you really had to get away now, you didn't want either of them getting ahold of you. You'd have to think fast before you ran out of energy.

What you didn't expect was the turn in the alleyway leading into a abrupt end, almost smacking headlong into the smooth two story wall in front of you. You felt your stomach drop into your feet after a moment when two sets of laughter broke you from your thoughts.

"Was wonderin why ya took this turn..Guess ya didn't know it ended in a dead-end? Y'all did try, I'll give ya credit.. Been a while since I had a bit of fun, doncha agree Jeri?"

"I agree Atty, our lil friend here moves bout as quick as a jackrabbit in a greased skillet! Too bad tha fun ended a lil too soon, was enjoyin it."

As they talked they closed the gap slowly, leaving you pinned against the wall trying to think of a last minute escape plan....and coming up short sans just trying to make a break for it between them. Not wanting to be cornered and starting to panic about what was to come you tried it anyways.

You only managed to get three steps past them both before you felt yourself being abruptly grabbed and wrenched back off your feet. The outright suddenness of it pulled a shocked gasp out of you as you were hauled back to stumble and stand between the two lawmen against your own will.

"Just can't accept that yer done runnin can ya? Well if I were y'all I'd save that fightin energy for later. Now, gotta figure out who's gonna take ya in. Since I spotted ya first I think tha credit should go ta me."

"Aw now wait just a second there Jeri, that ain't what I remember agreein ta."

Atty, the one in brown stepped closer to argue with who you knew was Jeri, unfortunately for you that left you now very much caught literally between them both. You found out that both brothers had a bit of a sizeable belly, leaving you to be squished between them as you tried to wiggle free. Though try as you could, one of the brothers had a hold on your arm and kept you rooted to the spot as you more or less felt the argument than heard at this point.

The two of them seemed intent on arguing circles around each other while you struggled uselessly to worm your way out somehow, the two of them were like walking heaters and it was getting hard to focus. Hell it felt like the longer you stayed stuck between them both the deeper you sank between them, you tried to get either ones attention in hopes of getting free.

Minutes ticked by and you were very much sure by now they were deliberately ignoring you while they talked, you had even started flailing your legs a bit to maybe get something to happen. When you tried to maybe push yourself did you realize something was wrong.

You couldn't feel the ground any more, not only that but the hand holding your arm felt somehow alot more bigger. Being trapped between them you couldn't see for sure but this was starting to freak you out something bad. Pulling your one free arm close to your chest, you tried to push out to free your head at least so you could get a look around.

Wriggling around a bit you managed to force the damn walls of flesh pinning you between them apart to see what the hell they were doing, or just to yell at them when what greeted you made you pause in disbelief.

They towered over you, more so than you remember them doing what, five minutes ago?? You felt yourself reeling for a moment trying to make sense of this, how the hell did they get bigger?? Your voice only came out in a shocked and embarrassingly quiet squeak of surprise, which of course got both of their attentions.

Gold and yellow lenses tilted down to get a look at you before their owners grinned mischievously.

"Ya need somethin down there darlin? Ya look a bit outta sorts down there."

"Don't look like yer havin fun down there though sugar. Maybe we should wrap things up ay Atty?"

As they talked you felt something weird..like your body was shifting ever so slightly despite you being stock still. At least until a noise coming from the one called Jeri's stomach grumbled out against you loudly, causing both of them to look back up at one another.

"Damn Jeri, when's tha last time ya got anythin ta eat? Must be starvin if yer guts makin that much noise."

"Guess it slipped my mind till now Atty, but yer right I should probably eat somethin here right soon."

As they talked, your world shifted even more so as you both felt and saw yourself being pulled free from between the two lawmen..only things were very much wrong now and it turns out your eyes weren't playing tricks on you.

Both Jeri and Atty looked so much more bigger than before simply because you had shrunk. Jeri was wrapping his large fingers around you as he shifted to bring you up to his smiling face. Your stomach had probably hit the core of the earth by now by how goddamned panicked and worried you were feeling now.

"Aw what's that look for sugar? Y'all scared of lil ol'e me or somethin? Heh, just relax yer in good hands~"

The fact that you were no bigger than some doll being held hostage in his massive hand made you glare at him for the stupid joke, which made him snort and laugh lightly in response.

"Sorry couldn't resist a lil jokin, tryin ta lighten tha mood yea? Ya look damn near ready ta faint on me here from fright alone."

"Might be cause of that spooky ass grin ya keep levelin their way ya damn goofball. C'mon Jeri, ain't no one tell ya it's impolite ta play round with yer food?"

"I know I know, just not lookin forward ta writin up tha damn damage reports for todays lil incident. Made off with more than 10k and then some didn'tcha?"

He gave you a half hearted glare before another loud grumble came from his midsection once more..a slow rising dread listening to them both made its way into your chest. The whole food comment now starting to take a darker meaning in the back of your head.

"...You-you can't be serious..You're taking me back to jail right? Why shrink me, what's going on?"

"Y'all haven't put it together have ya sugar? Well nothin's a better teacher than first hand experience right? Just gotta take care of one lil detail first."

Large warm fingers grabbed ahold of your legs one by one and you felt Jeri slip off your shoes of all things, the reality of your current situation was finally kicking in and you began to thrash and kick at him wildly.

"Aw now simmer down sugar, ain't no point ta try fightin now, y'all already lost this lil battle. Just calm down n let me do what I do best, promise I'll even be real gentle with ya."

You couldn't get his fingers to budge even a inch with how hard you tried to fight, his grip was like steel around you even if it didn't hurt you in the slightest. Regardless you were still scared shitless at what he had planned for you.

You felt the hand holding you shift close to Jeris face as he raised you higher still to hang over his now wide open mouth, lips curled into a easygoing smile as he caught your stare.

"Been fun sweetheart, but a mans gotta eat afterall. Try n behave a lil better n we might not have ta meet like this again next time yeah?"

Feet dangling over his awaiting abyss of a mouth you were left speechless, this couldn't be happening, this shouldn't be happening. Your brain was shutting down from the shock until you felt the shocking warmth of what awaited you envelop your legs eagerly.

Watching yourself being slipped between grinning jaws and doing nothing at all to stop it aside from a soft pitiful wailing noise. A noise that rose several octaves as you abruptly felt the hand holding you simply let you go to freefall the rest of the way inside. Your back met with the warm wet flesh inside, you snapped your head up just in time to see the outside world vanish as the jaws surrounding you clicked shut, locking you inside for good.

You were inside someones mouth, it was humid and cramped but you began to thrash and yell to be let back out. Death wasn't a new subject for any Nevadean, but being eaten alive wasn't something you wanted to experience. The bastard who had you tucked away behind his teeth hummed gently around you and began to toss and turn you about, like you were nothing but a piece of food to savor.

There wasn't room for you to do anything, you were at his mercy and unfortunately it seemed like he only wanted one thing from you. Your hellish experience was only about to grow worse as you felt your prison tilt back once more and felt yourself sliding downwards as your legs were gripped tightly and pulled into Jeri's throat. It was going too fast, you didn't want any of this but it seemed your captor was all to eager to get you where he wanted you, another long gulp or two and you were slipping down his throat with ease. Before you could even come to terms with it you were being dumped into his stomach, landing on your back in the dark amongst walls of squishy flesh.

You were trying not to hyperventilate when a voice rang out all around you amongst the other bodily noises.

"Hope yer cell's comfy, gotta admit ya didn't taste half bad! Would of liked ta enjoy ya a bit longer but I'm on tha clock sadly. Gotta put business ahead of pleasure ya understand. Thanks for bein sucha lovely lil treat, makes up a lil bit for tha ruckus y'all caused."

You wanted to scream, to cry, to do anything other than lay here inside of someone elses goddamn stomach of all things. Your new prison began to gently sway, they were likely heading back to the bank now that you were taken care of. You could almost make out what the two of them were saying over the rushing of blood in your ears.

Jericho couldn't help but feel a little bit bad but he was a lawman afterall and you definitely were a dang criminal. You looked scared witless, must of been your first time getting put away in that kinda manner, he'd make it up to you the only way him and his brother could. The thought did bring a smile to his face a bit more, if things worked out you'd understand as well before long.

---

You weren't sure how much time had passed while trapped in here, you had already gone through all the stages of grief it felt like. The tears had long ago stopped as you exhausted yourself trying to fight and figure a way back up to freedom. You quickly found out nothing worked, and served to only amuse your captor who laughed and commented now and again on your "fighting spirit being cute".

So you opted to lay in the dark and hope whatever happened next wouldn't be too painful. So far the only thing of note you could notice was that you felt utterly exhausted and every bit of you felt weirdly tingly. Like the static you felt when a limb had fallen asleep, only it covered every inch of you and made the exhaustion worse by tenfold. Deciding sleep might be the only escape you had left, you felt yourself drifting off before your tired mind could finish processing the thought.

Jericho paused for a moment in the middle of his workload to let out a soft burp or two, hand going to his midsection where you had long decided to go still and accept what was going to happen. A much softer smile spread over his face for a moment before going back to work once more.

---

Dying was a little different each time, the weird interm before you "woke up" back in the cloning vats back at base different for you and everyone else. Sometimes you'd just wake up immediately with a gasp of fresh air, Skinner somewhere nearby ready to help you to your feet. Others it felt like you were being pulled up from some deep trench, still muddled and caught between life and death. Those rare times were the worse..taking you hours till you felt stable and completely alive again. Doc had said it was due to your imprinting sometimes acting weird and it would happen from time to time.

But this time was..much different. You felt warm, comfortably warm and relaxed oddly. Like getting into a freshly clean bed after a nice hot shower almost kind of warm but it permeated every last cell of you. If you had a face wherever this was it'd be red as something else accompanied the warmth. It felt like...adoration, like pure love and joy at seeing someone. You felt like you were being scooped up and pulled into the perfect hug by someone you hadn't seen in ages..someone you missed but never knew at the same time. It overwhelmed you entirely, can you cry here?? It felt like something you so desperately needed and yearned for but couldn't put into actual words..It simply was love in every form somehow at once.

You woke up and it felt like it was all too soon somehow. Tears were gently flowing down your face, worrying Skinner and the few workers he had lending him a hand..You told them you were fine, just feeling a bit odd. Skinner looked at you and your readings before nodding and tsking gently.

"Well your readings are saying you have twice the regular dosage of dopamine going through your system right now..I'm not sure how but something like that is quite unusual! Especially from just waking up, perhaps some rest and warm food will help regulate your system a bit better. If you continue to feel a bit off from your normal state come see me as soon as possible and we'll run a few tests."

Nodding weakly you wandered off to your private quarters in a mild daze, until two of your teammates all but ran you over.

"BOSS, boss there you are! Glad to see you back in one piece, we got some intel about those two big bastards that got you and the others today."

"Yeah? What's that then, what didja get?"

"They're both lawmen, twins in fact..They're named Jericho and Atticus..they're like..the top enforcers of PrivSec. So no wonder we all got our asses handed to us if they sent their heavy hitters to clear things out."

Looking at the few sheets of paper being held out to you, you saw two very familiar faces grinning back at you..Well the name Jeri made a bit more sense..You gave em a nod and took the papers.

"Next time we try that damn bank again, we're gonna have to bring better guns..if we ever decide to try robbing a damn bank again."

Something told you even if you decided to play it safe, those two damn cowboys would be showing up again...You had a few damn questions for them anyways. But for now..you needed some sleep to sort your head out. And maybe to try and remember what you felt again before waking up.

#g/t vore #mawdness combat #extreme cuddling #fatal vore #tfw i write a goddamn novel for one ask.#v/ore #soft vore #gentle pred #mawedness combat #vore writing #safe vore #sfw vore

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cicero-the-assassin · 2 years

Text

@cajunspoons

Continued from here.

“Mos’ folk’d say I talk too much,” she insisted, though the touched smile was still there.

“Oh!”

She actually skipped once, tugging Lucio ahead accidently, for which she immediately chirped a quick “Sorry!”

“It’s such nice fabric, I think I’ll make a gown. Not much in the way ‘a fancy parties out here, but one can always hope!”

Just the thought made her want to dance and she did sway a few times to her imagined music.

“Say, ya ever ett from legs before?”

Folks tended to say the same thing about him. In their gang, when fully assembled, he’d been the gabbiest for sure. He’d been told to shut the fuck up pretty often. But-! Always bein’ fulla pretty words had its benefits sometimes. Like right now. Here. With her.

He jolts forwards slightly, but uprights himself easily with a grin and chuckle. “Issalright Cara Mia. Fulla energy today ain’t’cha?”

He’d have to be on guard. If he dropped this basket, surely she’d not forgive him for ruining her plans.

“Fancy parties eh? Kinda stuffy they can be. I’d be tempted to try and find one to sneak ya into. But I’d be afraid some stuffy coat with cash would steal ya away from me. Pero- ‘ett from legs’ what’s that Miss Segolene?”

#cajunspooons #RDR2 Cicero #Lucio #IC

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lovetessamariehi · 6 months

Text

Ok so I probably shouldn't have peeped at my homegirl phone but I did and it said something like her and her gf thinking I might be trying to steal some shit out of this other chicks purse (she's passed out over here) and it's dumb bcuz I been trying to keep as far away from this chick this other chicks and their belongings... I only moved a few things to make room for us three plus one of em owns a dog too... it's a small one but still it's a lot of MFS in this small ass apartment I definitely need to move TF around later on today! Jus sayin cuz Im not tryna wear out my welcome that's for sure... Plus it's weird that I'm the one that has had shit of MINE go missing... So WTF?! Whatever I'm not trippin... This chick been here for months being a straight fuckin bum... But whatever maybe I'll go see my mama and spend some time with her... She constantly misses me anyways. I need to start spending more time with her anyways and stop bullshitting around... My kids too! Gotta get outta my funk before it gets worse (depression) it's already pretty fuckin bad I won't even pretend. So I just gotta take the time to figure out all kinds a shit.. m I wanna sign up for sum training classes or whatever they are called actually.... They're usually on a few weeks long type of course like 2-8 weeks... That way I'll be learning a new skill getting certified in in it... And upon completion I'll get a cash stipend... $$$ so basically it'll payoff literally... I haven't been able to do a lot of things because I didn't have my state ID for the longest and a stable phone number address or email address well now I do I have all 3! So time to get back on my grizzy!!

I'm sick of the way ppl get their lil funky ass attitudes and I don't wanna have to be around that shit no more... Mfs petty AF. I'm not gonna be like that towards ppl ever tho if I ir when i am faced with the same situation... I'll try to remember what it felt like for me and what I was going through at the time.... Hopefully I'm not a total bitch and then realize later on and feel bad about it hopefully I wont forget it ... It's a pretty shitty feeling that's for sure ... But am over it now and trying to move TF around in a couple hours here maybe even around 8 or 830 if the vibe feels off ya know? Cuz i hate awkward vibes and tension ya know?

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demonsofdevildom · 1 year

Text

Looking at the various things Mael brought and laughing at the haul before seeing Grimm among it too, “HAHAHA!! Just like me aren’t ya my little devil? Good on ya!!” bobbing his head when counting the Grimm and proud of his little devil of a son who was a chip off the old block, “Gettin’ better at snatching things though, I hate to admit it but you’re getting better than I am.” hearing Mael busy making those bird noises and ruffling that snowy hair when watching his boy taking the finds back.

“Well duh, I learned from the greatest demon ever obviously. I mean who else has the best hands for stealing?” stroking his parent’s ego of stealing things and smiling a bit before stashing his stolen things away, “Ma? You’re still the best though, besides... you can keep the Grimm. I don’t handing the cash off to you.” not minding of passing the money off to Mammon and always hatching up a scheme which seemed to go well unlike Greed’s which were a hit or miss.

#{ ic }

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wildcatofgreen · 1 year

Note

- Share the latest entry in your diary/journal.

Interview the Muse

- Share the latest entry in your diary/journal.

"please let me make this clear that i do not like you. i hate you, even. go fuck yourself."

She stands from her desk, wandering groggily over to her closet. Opens the door, reaches into her snack stash--actually, she'll need some of these for later. Stones know she's not leaving anytime soon, she'll need something to stay satiated. Pocket some snacks, go get her diaries.

blah blah blah she destroys the locks and opens the boxes grabs the avalice what the fuck ever.

With the Avalice diary in hand, she wanders back over to her desk, sits down, and opens it to the last entry.

"dear diary, "sup. i dont think im gonna write in ya much anymore. "i dont think i need you much, either? everything is pretty much perfect right now, besides the training "SO MUCH TRAINING. you dont even know looool. "i got lilac. i got sonar. i got trainin, i got my besties and i got like, everything a wildcat could ask for right now. "im content! really, i am! i dont have to worry about anything anymore, besides keeping up with people. "and for the coolest wildcat around? HA, that's eaaaasy. "though, i guess if there's OOOONE thing i wish i had "it'd probably be a consistent cash flow. stealin's awesome but it dont pay the bills, if you know what i mean "that battlesphere stuff is SUPER DUPER COOL but iiiii dont know if i could ever be a battlesphere champ "i mean, im a super sick world savior, so that's gotta count for SOMETHING. "but CAPTAIN KALAW??? HE'S SO AWESOME I TELL SONY ABOUT HIM EVERYTIME THE BATTLESPHERE SHOWS UP!!!! "shame what happened to the jade fury though. he aint deserve that. not at all. "but jobs, yeah. i could probably do more stuff with my mechanics? "but when would i ever have the TIME? ive had MORE time thanks to the dumb gemerald not working anymore, but stones ever since i figured out the jump/bike disc stuff i cant fuckin' think of other cool stuff i could do. "and i cant fix other people's bikes. lol, here comes the local thief to fix stuff. nah that bitch gonna STEAL IT "lilac says we should only steal when we HAVE to. but how else are we gonna get cash? running around picking up chump change isnt gonna make us live. we gotta STEAL. i swipe some dude's wallet everytime i leave the palace. it gets funny replacing wallets with different IDs in them. "idk what i wanna do with myself. who is this CAROL TEA, lolll "but seriously, im happy. but im also stuck. where's the room to grow. i aint got no potential. it kinda sucks "but i can deal with it. and the first step into this room to grow is to get rid of this stupid diary!!!! "ill miss you, diary bro, but i wont wait up either. lol. "see ya! "- carol"

. . .

"no comment."

#carol's cruisings #asks #anonymous #meme answers #one thing after another

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nerdstify · 2 years

Text

some highlights of the art i made for my first campaign

1: first sketch of my character (before i made him cooler): Slim Shady

2: drawings of all our characters i did after the rest of the party got me into JoJo's

3: Slim Shady being confused by Charles II (short man + bard lookin for love)

4: Shady's hands (+ mysterious pocket watch, ft. a note written by his sister after her disappearance)

5: Miss Steal Ya Cash, glamourous tiefling rogue (the guns are just for show the guy who played her is banned from guns)

6: Slim Shady and Charles holding hands <3

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devildom-drabbles · 3 years

Text

Story - Fallin’ For Ya

Prompt: A character sees someone they admire and are so distracted they fall down stairs and/or run into a wall -- by @writingprompts365

Characters/Ship: Mammon x MC

Word Count: 614

Warnings: None, just silly fluff

“Money~ Money~” Mammon sang to himself, a skip in his step. “Gonna make me some money~”

He hummed this made-up tune as he walked down the hall and descended the stairs to the first floor of the House of Lamentation. A new get-rich-quick scheme danced about within his head, making him feel giddy and motivated to put it into action immediately. All he needed to do was steal retrieve a few cursed books from the RAD library--

Mammon’s mind went blank when he rounded the corner to the bottom half of the stairs. Someone stood at the base of the steps, unaware of Mammon’s presence as they fiddled with their D.D.D.

MC.

The world suddenly went in slow motion for Mammon.

MC’s eyelashes fluttered like a butterfly as they blinked to remove any dryness from staring at the phone. Their nose stuck out in such a way that Mammon wanted to boop his own against it and hear them giggle in response. A calm smile graced their lips, and their cheeks grew rosy as they laughed at something they read, making his cheeks warm and his heart do backflips. Their hands, proceeding to diligently type something, looked so soft even from a distance; surely those hands were lonely without him holding them.

MC… They’re beauty. They’re grace. They’re--

--now watching Mammon land flat on his face.

“Mammon!” MC cried, crouching down to check the demon’s condition. “Are you all right?”

Mammon weakly groaned in reply.

They helped Mammon sit up and cradled his face in their hands, carefully examining for any bruises or bleeding. “I don’t see a broken nose or anything serious, but your face is pretty red.”

Because you’re so close!! Mammon wanted to scream.

“Wh-What do ya expect?! I just ate dirt, so of course my face is red,” Mammon tried to laugh off the incident. “N-No other reason!”

He winced in pain when MC readjusted their grip on his face. “H-Hey, watch it!”

“Sorry,” MC said, releasing their hold.

“No, wait!” Mammon begged a little louder than he would’ve liked. He snatched their retreating hands. “I-I just meant, uh…”

Please keep holding my face.

“A-Are you busy right now?” Mammon inquired, eager to change the subject.

MC shook their head.

“Great, then you’re comin’ with me!”

“To a hospital?” MC asked.

“N-No! I don’t need to see a doctor or nothin’!” Mammon argued.

“But your face--”

“Is fine! Perfectly fine! You could even say handsome, ya know!”

MC snickered under their breath without the rambling demon noticing.

“Anyway, I came up with a great way to make some quick cash, and you’re gonna help me, got it?”

“Please don’t tell me you fell down the stairs just to knock such an idea into your head,” MC said, becoming increasingly concerned.

“Wha-- Of course not! I just fell because I missed--”

Mammon’s hands grew warmer when he remembered they were still wrapped around MC’s. He stared at their face, admiring every inch of its features.

“--you.” he murmured.

“Missed what?” MC questioned him, tilting their head slightly. “I didn’t catch that.”

“A STEP!” Mammon blurted, face even redder than before. “Right, a step! I missed a step! Obviously! Now quit your game of twenty questions and follow me!”

The Avatar of Greed stood up, bringing MC up along with him, and guided them to the front door. He turned back to flash them a confident toothy grin. “We’re off to become rich! You and me!”

MC’s wide eyes relaxed into creases. Giggling, they declared, “All right, if the Great Mammon says so.”

Even if this money scheme didn’t work out, at least Mammon had MC all to himself for the day.

#spoiler: it didn't work out #barbatos totally caught him in the act 😬#don't worry mc saved him #obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me mammon #obey me mc #obey me mammon x mc #short story #prompt used

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arc-misadventures · 2 years

Text

A Reason Why

Jaune: Nora, this is for you.

Nora: Oh, mail! I never get mail! Dadada~! Dear, Miss Valkyrie, we are writing you to inform you that…?! I’m being sued?! For what?

Jaune: Making an Onlyfans of me.

Nora: What, why?!

Jaune: I was already under contract as a model with my sister’s advertisement agency. You are using my images illegally, so yeah… you’re stealing what’s there’s… Technically… I never understood the legal stuff before…

Yang: Wait, your sister runs an advertisement agency?

Jaune: Yeah, Crescent Studios.

Yang: Damn! They’re one of the biggest in all of Remnant!

Jaune: Yep, oh, she asked me to give you her card.

Yang: Eh, why?

Jaune: She wants to hire you on as a model. Call her and they’ll discuss the terms; Pay, hours, amount of clothes you get to keep.

Yang: I get to keep some of the clothes I model?!

Jaune: Possibly.

Yang: Whoo, thanks, Jaune!

Jaune: No problem. See ya!

Nora: Great, I thought I could make some cash, cashing in on the, Arc booty… Turns out I was too late to the party…

Yang: Sorry, Nora, can’t win them all.

Nora: Yeah… Hold on… what’s this?

Yang: What’s, what?

Nora: It says I won’t have to go to court, if I delete the account… and give all the photos of, Jaune to, Jaune’s sister… Why does she want butt photos of her brother…?

Yang: Beats me. Wanna find out when I call his sister?

Nora: Can we call her now?

Yang: Hell yeah we can!

Nora: Yes!

#rwby #jaune arc #nora valkyrie #yang xia long

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shespeaksinsongs · 3 years

Text

Joyride | Draco x Reader

A/N: Inspired by Shameless <3 I know this one's long, but I think it's so cute, so I really hope you give it a shot. Her being Theo's sister does nothing for the plot. I just think it's cute. Enjoy!

Summary: Y/N Nott takes Draco for a joyride in her city of Syracuse, NY. He meets the family, works a job as a cash register, and even tries pho!

Warnings/content: Cursing, smut (hj), kissing <3, Fem!Reader, alcohol, and smoking (none from the reader or Draco's part), financial struggles, stealing (very minimal)

Word count: 5.32k

masterlist | request form

A calming marimba played on the speakers before it was interrupted with a scratchy and lousy voice. "Clean up on aisle 4, clean up on aisle 4."

Without thinking, Y/N blankly abandoned her task stacking the tomato sauce cans, and trudged to aisle 4. That's what Y/N Nott's life had come to - urgently responding to anyone that needed her.

About to cross the corner, she sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. "Merlin, I can't wait to go back to school." Y/N muttered under her breath. She would've rather been in detention with Umbridge than at the dank store. Anyone could have done the job if it wasn't in the middle of the most dangerous city in New York - Syracuse. The job was easy - it had surprisingly good pay, low qualifications, and was predictable.

However, what Y/N didn't predict was her boyfriend, Draco Malfoy, the cause of the mess in aisle 4.

"Uh... hi, Y/N." Draco grinned, scared of what kind of trouble he'd get in for knocking over cereal boxes by accident.

"Draco!" Y/N smiled, running up to her darling boyfriend. "What are you doing here?" She asked, giving him a short peck, scared that her aunt might pass by and tell her to keep cleaning up. Before Draco could answer, Y/N interrupted. "Nevermind that, I'm gonna take my break now, is there something you wanna eat? My treat - perks of being part of an understaffed workplace is the big bonus you get."

"We'll go wherever you want to go, my love. I missed you so much." Draco said, pulling her in closer to his chest.

"Ay, Y/N/N! You cleanin' or just smoochin'? I don't pay you to flirt, do ya job!" Aunt Beatrice yelled down the aisle, her scowl disappearing when a man walked in, and she had to put on her customer service face.

"I'm taking my break, Aunt Beatrice. This is my boyfriend, I'm gonna-"

"Woah, woah, woah, slow down! Boyfriend? So baby Y/N finally claimed some d-"

"Ugh, we're going now." Y/N said, dragging Draco out of the store.

"You're not getting paid for this, you know!" Beatrice yelled until the door closed behind Y/N.

Draco huffed, unsure of what to say. "That aunt of yours seems real..."

"Don't try to find a word for her, sweetie. You'll be here for days." Y/N laughed. "Have you tried pho, baby?" She asked, swinging around their interlocked hands.

Draco's face twisted at the unfamiliar word. "Pho? No, what's that?"

Y/N smiled. "You'll love it. Come on; I'll take you. It's about twenty minutes away walking, but if we take one of these..." Y/N said, eyeing two bikes padlocked to a stop sign pole. "I'd say it'd cut us down thirteen minutes. Depending on how fast you can go." She winked.

"What, you mean steal it?" Draco asked, surprised. "Won't the owners be mad?"

"Nah, they love me. Watch." Y/N said, pulling a wire-cutter out of her jacket. Two angry men came out, approaching the couple fast. "Just gonna borrow this for a bit!" Y/N yelled, quickly handing Draco a bike and a helmet.

The men bolted behind Y/N but were too slow. Y/N and Draco were a block away now. "Fucking Nott's! You still owe me those 20 bucks!"

"I fucking bought you loonies these bikes! See ya, Ernie, Ethan!" Y/N yelled back, laughing. "Those are my younger cousins." Y/N said, loving the feeling of the wind in her face on a hot summer day.

"They seem like family guys." Draco said, causing Y/N to laugh.

"They're really sweet once you get to know 'em." Y/N smiled. "Alright, stop here, we can't take the bikes inside the restaurant, but I know a guy who'll keep 'em safe." Y/N said, pulling over into an alleyway.

Draco tried not to be scared, but the passed-out drunks on the floor and menacing women with bats seemed enough for his heart to pound.

"Ay, Uncle Michael, long time no see!" Y/N cheered, taking off hers and Draco's helmets. "You look cute with helmet hair." She whispered to Draco, ruffling his head, making Draco giggle.

"The fuck do you want?" A big man, the size of two crockpots side by side, was slumping against a wall, trying to light up a cigarette.

"Listen, I need another favor." Y/N said, kicking out the stand from the two bikes. "Watch these for me, and I'll babysit Aunt Beatrice and Luca for a week."

"Seriously?" His eyebrows raised. "You'll make them dinner? And lunch?"

"And breakfast. Luca wants to start a candy business, anyways, so I'm gonna show him a few tricks I learned from Dad before he passed away." Y/N said, gently placing the bikes on the ground next to him.

"Your Dad, the drug dealer?" Michael said, horizontal wrinkles forming over his eyebrows.

"Mom didn't marry anybody else." Y/N laughed, reaching in her pocket for something. "He did teach me some good tips before leaving."

"Oh, yeah? Like what?" Michael challenged as he huffed out a puff of smoke.

"Like never get distracted." Y/N said, pulling out a tin of cigarettes with Michael's name written on it from her pocket. She threw it into his laps and turned on her heel. "See ya, Uncle Mike. Thanks for this!"

"Since when could you pickpocket?" Draco asked, the look of utter shock on his face.

"I don't use the skill much anymore, but back when my dad passed, my brother and mom and I... we were going through rough times. All I had for money was what our grandma left in her vault at Gringott's. And I needed that money for school books. So I resorted to stealing as a way to make amends and bring food to the table."

"Woah, Y/N/N, that's a lot. Why didn't you just ask me for help?" Draco asked softly, rubbing his thumb over hers.

"Well, my dad died a few years before we started dating, and you weren't exactly friendly before then." Y/N giggled, kissing away a slight grimace Draco had at the memory of him teasing her because he didn't know what to do with his attraction. "We're here!" Y/N announced, standing in front of a dubious restaurant. The windows were tinted 100%, and there was graffiti of a penis on the handle.

Draco stood for a minute, staring bewildered at the peeling off letters taped to the door. "Y/N, this sign says it's a convenience store-"

"Yeah, they don't have the license to be selling food, but it's a family-owned business, and I've been going for years now. It's the best in the city, I promise." Y/N smiled encouragingly at Draco, who nodded and held the door open for Y/N.

"Y/N!" The staff cheered from behind the counter.

"Hey, guys! I brought my boyfriend today, says he wants to try pho. Could you give him what I get?" Y/N beamed at the shocked looks on the family's face.

"Cool, so that's just the Classic Pho with stir-fry bean sprouts?" Y/N's best friend's younger sister asked. She was about thirteen.

"Yes, love." Y/N said, diving into her pocket for some cash.

"No, no, no!" The matriarch of the Huynh family said. "Free for you and your boyfriend." Her name was Violet, Vi for short, and she was 85 in December. "Muggle or magic?" She whispered to Y/N, who laughed.

"Wizard - thanks, Vi." Y/N said, zipping up her jacket pocket again.

"We always thought Y/N, here, was making you up." A tall girl named Dep came from behind the wall separating the kitchen and register, with a bowl on her head and two plates lined up each on her arm.

"Oh, piss off!" Y/N laughed, helping her with the plates to tend to an elderly couple who was there as often as Y/N.

"Go, go, go sit down. I'll bring your food to you." Vi smiled dearly.

"Thank you." Y/N grinned, bringing Draco to her most frequented table in the restaurant. It was next to a small garden, which contained rare substances, some with magical properties that the muggles in Y/N's neighborhood were unaware of.

As Draco situated himself across from his girlfriend, he leaned forward, eyeing a teardrop purple fruit. "Hey, is that-"

"A shrivelfig? Yep." Y/N nodded, waving at it, despite it being insentient.

"People would kill to find some of that! Have you heard about the shortage in the magic world? Everyone's going crazy trying to find some of them. My dad's in Abyssinia right now to see if he can find some." The blond said quietly.

"Yeah, Vi sells Elixirs of Euphoria, so she needs them." Y/N said. "I have a few at home. I'll give you some after this. You can have half of them. They put them in the soup here. I think it's what makes it the best in town." Y/N smiled, sighing a breath of relief, when she saw Dep coming out of the kitchen, carrying their order out on a tray.

"Your food." Dep winked at Y/N and Draco. "So you're the guy who bought Y/N that pretty necklace for her birthday? Keepin' her happy?" She raised her eyebrows at him. Draco nodded, afraid of speaking.

"Don't worry, she doesn't bite, love." Y/N nudged Draco's foot a bit.

"Not people I've just met, anyways." Dep said, grinning at Y/N's shaking head of disapproval.

"Yeah, he's the one who bought me the necklace." Y/N smiled, pulling out an enchanted golden locket that was hidden underneath her shirt. Draco smiled, not knowing she was wearing it. "Keep it to remind me of you." She shrugged, putting her hands under her thighs and slightly kicking her feet giddily. "And he keeps me very happy." Y/N smiled softly at her boyfriend.

"Ugh," Dep rolled her eyes. "love."

"Dep Huynh," Y/N laughed. "you've been with my brother for what, four years, now?"

Draco's eyes widened. "You're with Theo Nott?"

"Going on five." Dep simpered. "It's just gross when it's other people." She said. "Enjoy your food, Y/N/N, Draco. See you at dinner." Dep curtsied. She giggled as Y/N threw a straw wrapper at her.

Draco looked behind him, making sure Dep was gone before asking. "Y/N/N, how do I eat this?" Draco whispered across the table.

"I'll move next to you and help you, okay?" Y/N said, moving to the sticky cushioned seat next to Draco. "Do you know how to use chopsticks?" She asked, not able to resist kissing his cute face on the cheek.

Draco grew a rosy pink. "No, but I think I can learn."

"Okay, but if you give up, you can always use a fork." Y/N said, ripping a pair of chopsticks out of its packaging. A few minutes passed by, and Draco was growing a bit frustrated as well as he tried to hide it.

"It's okay, baby, we can just use forks." Y/N soothed, rubbing his back. "It's delicious either way." She said with a mouthful of beef, noodles, and purple soup.

Draco laughed and wiped some soup that was running down her jaw. "Can I try some of that sauce you're eating?" Draco pointed at the hoisin sauce Y/N had been dipping her meat in.

"Yeah, of course! It's one of my favorite sauces ever." She said, sliding the plate towards him.

Walking out of the store hand-in-hand, Y/N looked up at her boyfriend. "So, did you like the pho?" She asked, already knowing what the answer would be.

"Can we go next time I come to visit?" Draco asked, his teeth all on display, showing how happy he was.

"Anytime you'd like." Y/N said, rounding the corner to get the bikes back. "Mike, wake up." Y/N said, slightly kicking her uncle to get him out of his drunken haze. He only mumbled some incomprehensible words. "Ugh." She sighed, grabbing a pen she found on the ground next to him.

Y/N wrote on one of the napkins she stole from the restaurant.

We took the bikes. Love, Y/N/N.

"Let's go before he wakes up and thinks we're thieves." Y/N laughed to herself, thinking about that one time.

Y/N and Draco rode the bikes back to Ernie and Ethan's bodega and walked in. "Miss me?" Y/N said, giggling when Ernie pulled her in for a noogie, messing up her hair.

"Not this particular time, no." Ethan said, printing out a receipt for a small kid who was buying an ice cream bar.

"Whatever." Y/N rolled her eyes, handing over the bikes. "You know, you really should invest in a thicker cable. Some psychos could come cut it and steal your bike." She said, handing over the cut wire. "I'll buy you a new one."

"Thanks, Y/N. You've been a real angel to us." Ethan said sarcastically. "You must be the boyfriend?" He asked, looking Draco up and down, rubbing his hands together.

"Yes..." Draco said, not really sure of what to say. "I'm Draco. Nice to meet you." He extended his hand for a handshake, but Ethan pulled him in roughly.

"Ay, welcome to the family!" Ethan said, giving Draco a noogie.

"They do that." Y/N said. "We should be heading off. Aunt Beatrice is angry enough at my extended lunch break. Probably pissing her pants. Anyways, see you at dinner, guys." Y/N waved off, taking Draco's hand and taking him back to the store.

"Nice to meet you, posh guy!" Y/N's cousins laughed as they exited.

"How do you tell them apart?" Draco asked, taking brief glances into the stores they passed into.

Y/N shrugged. "Ernie's the one with the nose hair, Ethan's got the ear hair. You'll stay for dinner, right?" Y/N asked, looking up at the pensive boy.

"Of course, I'll owl my mother and tell her I'll be home late." Draco sniffed.

"Well, I hope you brought an owl with you because we don't have one." Y/N said, waving at a boy who lives across the street from her, buying a pack of Marlboros.

Draco gasped. "What? What happened to Búho?"

"We couldn't pay our taxes on time, so IRS took him away at the beginning of summer. Lucky for us, though, the smart bastard bit the driver and flew out the window. Ended up a free man, hasn't come back. Was even on the news!" Y/N smiled, reminiscing about her first pet. He was a gift from her grandma's inheritance.

"I'm sorry, Y/N." Draco said sadly. "That must've been awful."

"It was." Y/N frowned at the memory. He was a great messenger. "But you make everything better." She smiled up at him. "Alright, we're here." Y/N sighed tiredly, not wanting to go back inside to work another three hours. "Since you're here, you're gonna have to pitch in, you know? You can take half of my pay." She laughed, knowing Draco was the last person who needed handouts.

They walked into the store and were surprised to find Beatrice waiting for them. "There you two are." Beatrice grumbled, walking over to the happy couple. "Drake, was it?" She said, handing Draco an apron.

"Draco, ma'am." He cleared his throat nervously.

"Draco, right. You'll be working the cash register. Y/N'll teach you briefly, but the job's pretty self-explanatory." Y/N smiled, taking Draco away to the cash register. "And no funny business." She yelled from the back of the store.

"It is pretty self-explanatory." Y/N said, standing close to Draco as she scanned her ID in for him. "Scan the items like this." Y/N said, holding her hand over Draco's large ones. "And push this trigger right here to ring it up." She slightly squeezed her finger over his, the beep notifying them that he'd done it successfully. "When there's nothing left, you click this green button and take their method of payment." Y/N looked around before leaning in to whisper something. "And if a mean shirtless old man wearing a green belt comes in, just show him to the liquor aisle, please. He won't calm down until he gets his fix."

"Okay, I got it - scan, push, pay." Draco said, slightly proud of himself.

Y/N kissed his cheek. "I knew my baby wasn't just a pretty face." She said playfully, tapping his head as he frowned. "See you at seven." She said, walking away to do her duties.

The day was finally over, and Y/N and Draco could finally go home. "Ready to meet my family?" Y/N asked, walking over some half-eaten ribs thrown out across the lawn in front of the house.

"I thought I already have? You just live with your mom and Theo, right?" Draco asked.

Y/N shook her head mischievously. "It's our family's turn to cook dinner tonight. The Perez's have the weekends, Huynh's have Mondays and Tuesdays, Baldoni's have Wednesdays, Johnson's have Thursdays, and Nott's, that's me, have Fridays." She smiled, knocking on the front door in a rhythmic way that was difficult to remember.

"Do the curtains," Theo started, flicking up the mailbox flap to take a look at the visitors' shoes.

"Match the drapes?" Y/N finished, smiling when he opened the door.

"Hey, man, haven't seen you in a while." Theo said, hugging Draco briefly, kissing Y/N's forehead.

"Have you gotten started on the pasta?" Y/N asked, taking Draco's jacket off and hanging it up.

"Nah, you're better at that." Y/N glared. "I cut all the vegetables for the sauce." Theo said, offering a cigarette to Draco, which he shook his head to.

"Wow, you've done a lot more than I expected. Good job, Teddy." Y/N said, ruffling her brother's hair. "Where's Mom?"

"Where do you think?" Theo asked as if the answer was obvious.

"Working? Today's supposed to be her day off." Y/N said, walking over to the phone that hung on the wall, dialing her mom's number.

"She's a workaholic." Theo whispered to Draco. "So's your girlfriend." He said, pointing at an upset Y/N who was waiting for her mom to pick up.

"Ma?" Y/N asked, getting angrier when she heard techno-music in the background. "What are you doing at the club? Get your ass over here. You're supposed to be relaxing today." Y/N said, tapping her foot. "No, your son chopped up everything already. Look, Ma, don't worry about it, dinner will be great as always, but you need to get over here and rest until then." Y/N rolled her eyes at the response she got. "Theo, try to talk some sense into her, will you? Your mommy's little boy, anyway." Y/N said, handing the phone to Theo.

"Hi, Ma." Theo sighed. "Y/N/N and I have everything under control for dinner tonight. She took a few napkins from Pho Sho, Uncle Mike's coming over to help with the sauce and everything. You need to relax; this is the only day off you get for the week. Come home now, please." Y/N breathed deeply, hearing her mom give in on the other side of the phone. "Alright."

"Love you!" The two said in unison, hanging up the phone.

Draco smiled at them, and both of their brows furrowed in confusion, silently prodding him to explain. "You just... you seem to care a lot about your family."

"They're all I got." Theo said, shoving Y/N harshly to the side, which she flicked him off for. "I gotta go. I'll be back before dinner." He said, quickly kissing his sister on the cheek and patting Draco on the back.

"Where are you going?" Y/N asked, filling a pot up with boiling water.

"I won a bet. So Johnson kid owes me money." Theo shrugged.

"Oh, let him live. He's nine." Y/N said, rolling her eyes when Theo walked out, slamming the door behind him.

"House to ourselves?" Draco asked, walking over to Y/N.

"For a few hours..." She smirked. "Why, you planning on doin' somethin' about it?"

"Maybe." He shrugged.

"Well, if you help me make the pasta, I'll be done sooner." She said, pulling him in by the neck for a long and passionate kiss.

In an instant, Draco got his wand out and conjured a pot of pasta. Y/N turned around, surprised at her boyfriend's horniness.

"You know, if it weren't for you spending time with me today, I'd think you were only with me for my body!" Y/N joked, turning off the stove and running upstairs with Draco. "This is my room." Y/N said in-between kisses, kicking off hers and Draco's shoes. "That's where Theo sleeps." She said, taking off Draco's shirt. "That's my desk, where-"

"Y/N?" Draco asked, sucking on Y/N's neck.

"Yeah?" She said, breathing heavily as he approached one of her sweet spots.

"I didn't come up here for a room tour."

"What, this isn't turning you on?" Y/N laughed breathily, unzipping Draco's pants.

"Not exactly, no." He replied, taking off Y/N's work shirt.

"Well, what about this?" Y/N asked, and before Draco could ask what she was referring to, he felt it. She began pumping his large cock, reaching over for a bottle of lube that she hid in her bottom drawer. In-between moans, Draco raised an eyebrow at the contents of that drawer, getting a peek at some obscene items. "For the nights I miss you a little extra." Y/N shrugged, speeding up her wrist on Draco's lubed-up dick.

They kept on going until Draco had fully undressed Y/N. His moans were filling the room, and the air was getting thicker. "Fuck, Y/N, I'm close."

"I missed you." Y/N said, smiling in content at his proximity to climax.

"Me, too, baby." Draco said, his stomach filling with the feeling you get when you go on a roller-coaster.

Feeling Draco get unbelievably hard and his dick twitch, Y/N spoke. "Cum." She said, smirking to herself when he shot out pure white ribbons onto her stomach. Draco began trying to satisfy Y/N immediately after he'd climbed down from his high but was interrupted with a loud knock at the door.

"That important?" He asked, his warm hands feeling like electricity on Y/N's body.

"Could be." Y/N said sadly. "We'll continue this." She said, kissing his lips gently and dressing quickly in a tank top and some sweatpants, wiping the cum on her stomach with her work shirt that laid ruffled on the floor.

She peeked through the peephole and rolled her eyes. She opened the door, and a kid half her size sprinted inside. "Hey, Luca, come on in." She said sarcastically. "You came right at the wrong time, you know?"

"Why, kissing your boyfri-?" Luca was cut off by a tall man walking down the stairs, his hair messy.

"Yes. What are you doing here so early, bud? You're supposed to come at eight." Y/N said, crossing her arms.

"Dad says you're babysitting me and Mom,"

"Mom and I, baby." Y/N corrected.

"Sorry. Mom and I next week, so I thought we could get a headstart." He shrugged adorably. "Do you wanna make some popcorn?" He asked sheepishly.

"Sure, we watch a junk show?" Y/N asked from the kitchen as Draco followed her.

"Yeah!" Luca yelled from the living room.

"Luca, come here!" Y/N said. "I want you to meet my boyfriend."

Luca came into the kitchen awkwardly. "Hi, sir. I'm Y/N/N's cousin." He said, hugging Y/N's waist.

Y/N smiled and squeezed the little boy's cheeks. "You don't have to call him that, you know? Introduce yourself, love." Y/N said to Draco, watching the microwave spin the flat bag of popcorn.

"I'm Draco, sir." He teased, causing Luca to blush, a bit embarrassed. "What've you got there?" He asked, crouching down to be eye-level with Luca.

"My glasses - they broke last week, but I can't see without them, so I have to hold them like this." The boy responded, holding up thick frames to his eyes.

"Muggle?" Draco asked, turned to Y/N.

"Certainly not!" The little boy said, offended.

"Then you won't mind if I use a little magic?" Draco asked, waving his wand. "Oculus reparo."

"Oh my gosh, thank you!" Luca said, giving Draco a short hug that he wished had lasted longer.

"Anytime, buddy. You're not allowed to use magic in the house?" Draco asked Y/N and Luca.

"Well, we were until Uncle Mike used Engorgio on this sweet boy's mom, Beatrice." Y/N said, patting Luca's head. "Ma said she didn't want any of us getting any ideas, so she took all the kids' wands and hid them. Theo and I would've made more of a mess if she hadn't taken them away, so it's really not that big of a deal." Y/N reasoned, pouring the warm popcorn into a bowl.

"Come on, eat, Luca." Y/N said, throwing some popcorn into her mouth, offering him the bowl.

"Mm." Luca shrugged. "I want the M&M's."

"Well, you're lucky I bought you some candy from Aunt Beatrice's store today." Y/N smiled, reaching up into a counter where she hid the small bag of chocolates.

"Thanks, Y/N!" Luca said, taking the bowl and running off into the living room. "Come on! Let's see what's on!"

"He seems different from the rest of your family." Draco noted, holding Y/N's hand to the couch.

"I'm trying to keep him pure." Y/N said. "He doesn't need to know about our struggles or how we fight to keep food on the table for him. He just needs to be a kid."

"I love you. I think you'll be a great mom." Draco simpered, throwing an arm around her as Y/N leaned into his chest.

"I love you, too. And I think I will, too." She said, coming up to give him a quick peck on the lips.

"Gross." Luca said, popping some more food into his mouth. "Hey, why don't we watch this? This looks cool!" He said, stopping on the TLC channel.

"Long Island Medium?" Draco asked, unsure of where Long Island even was.

"Yeah, they're doing re-runs! It'll be good to see a medium in action before I get my acceptance letter this summer." Luca said, turning up the volume. He was eleven, bound to get it this summer if only his powers or magic had kicked in.

"You still think you're gonna get it?" Y/N said, feeling bad for the boy.

"I still have hope. We still have a few more weeks until school starts." Luca smiled worriedly, stuffing himself with more popcorn.

Y/N looked at Draco anxiously and went back to laying her head on his chest.

The hours went by fast, and soon enough, almost thirty people were in the house, empty and ready for dinner. "Uncle Mike, how much longer until the sauce is ready?" Y/N asked, setting the table where Ethan, Ernie, and their father, Earl, sat, yelling at each other even though they were no more than three feet away.

"Uh, four minutes." He grumbled as his stomach did.

"Pasta looks great, sweetie. Al dente." Mrs. Nott smiled, hugging her from behind. "Sit down, dears. You've both been a great help." She said to Draco and Y/N.

Draco smiled as Y/N pulled out his seat for him. "I'm supposed to do that." He said, rolling his eyes when Y/N sat down without letting him seat her.

"No, no." Earl said, taking the last sip of his beer. "In this family, the women dominate."

Y/N just looked at Draco and nodded. "Yep. That's how it is." She said, remembering the orgasm she'd just given Draco a few hours ago.

"Dinner's ready! I'll serve!" Theo said, yelling over five families.

"Aw, what's the occasion?" Y/N got up, helping her brother, regardless of what he said.

"Your boyfriend's homecoming." Y/N rolled her eyes at this.

When everybody had gotten their penne bolognese, Y/N and her brother sat down, finally digging into their meal. Draco, the Perez family (Earl, Ethan, and Ernie), and Mrs. Nott were the only ones who waited for them.

"Mm, great pasta, Y/N/N." Theo said, nodding his head at the taste.

"Thanks, you did a great job cutting the vegetables." Y/N laughed.

"Yeah, but not as good as Uncle Mike did on the sauce." Theo said a little louder so he could hear.

"Thanks, guys." He smiled. It was always endearing when that happened because it happened about once a week - maybe twice if you were lucky to see it.

The families ate together, some in the living room, some on the stairs, and some at the dining table that seated the Notts, Perez's, and Draco.

Noticing how quiet her boyfriend was, she leaned in to whisper into his ear. "Do you like it, baby? 'S good?"

Draco could only nod with wide eyes, meat sauce dribbling down his chin. Y/N smiled, wiping it off with the napkins she'd taken from the Li's. "Good." She said, rubbing his back sweetly.

"Pst, Draco." Ernie whispered to Draco while Y/N got up to serve herself some more pasta. "You're not fucking her, are you?" He asked.

"'Cause we got eyes... everywhere." Ethan said from beside him.

"And we know a lot of guys..." Theo said, waggling his eyebrows "threateningly."

"Will you stop harassing my boyfriend?" Y/N said, swatting all three of their heads as she sat back down.

"Ow. Just talking about baseball, Y/N/N." Ethan put his hands up defensively. "Your boyfriend here seems really knowledgable."

Y/N put her cup of water down as she looked the boys in the eyes. "Draco doesn't watch baseball."

"What do you watch, then, uh, Quidditch?" Ernie asked, taking another bite of his pasta.

"Yep. Actually, I've got some spots to the Holyhead Harpies game against Montrose Magpies tomorrow, if you all want to go?" Draco asked, looking at the entire table. "They're the best spots in the house." Draco asked. The table got quiet.

"Are you serious?" Ethan's jaw dropped.

"Of course we wanna go, get out of here!" Ernie said, which cued Y/N to shake her head at Draco to let him know that's not what he actually meant.

"I've gotta admit it, Y/N, you got a keeper." Ethan said to Y/N, roughing Draco up a bit.

"I know." Y/N said smugly, finishing her food.

"Ay, anybody got a cig? Oh, shit!" Y/N's Uncle Earl said, his clothes lit on fire. He'd been playing with his lighter for a few seconds at the table, which Y/N's mom, his older sister, seated next to him, scolded him not to do.

"What did I tell you was going to happen?" Mrs. Nott said, getting away from him. "Where's that damn fire extinguisher when you need it? Stop, drop, and roll, Earl!" She yelled, rummaging through the cabinets for the red tank.

Luca rushed over and panicked, seeing his uncle yelling in agony and desperation. He closed his eyes and zoned out the noise, only thinking about the fire. Then, he extended his hand outwards and sprung water from the palm of his hand.

In an instant, the fire was over. Everyone looked around, trying to absorb the moment and what had just happened. Then, everybody screamed.

"Yeah, that's my son!" Beatrice yelled, throwing him over her shoulders with ease and running outside. One good effect of the engorgement charm - she was freakishly strong now. Everybody left the house, following her and huddling up around the tall boy. "We got a hydrokinetic in the family, everyone!"

"Luca! Luca! Luca!" Everybody cheered, their happy faces illuminated by the warm yellow-toned streetlights. A car alarm went off, and a few people tripped over some empty beer bottles, but the moment was perfect.

"I like your family a lot, love." Draco smiled at Y/N, watching them celebrate.

"It's a good thing you're a part of it now, then." Y/N said, throwing her arms around his neck and cupping his face for a kiss.

"And Y/N's got a boy toy!" Dep's grandfather, a member of the Huynh family, said, pointing at the happy couple.

Y/N and Draco felt themselves being lifted up. Y/N reached her hand for Draco's, and for a moment, it felt like they were flying.

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gardenerian · 3 years

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Oh my goodness yes the photos or the compliments one please. Living for your 5+1s!!! Thank you thank you!

oooh i get to pick? hmm. photos? photos. presenting: "5 photos they share with their friends and family + 1 they don’t" ✨outsider POV edition✨

she can’t remember the last time ian looked so unburdened.

he’s been happy, of course, but this - this wide, easy smile, eyes bright and shining - it’s something fiona hasn’t seen in too long.

and she’d missed it.

she didn't get to smile back at him or cup his face as he grinned down at her.

ian swore he didn’t mind, that he understood why she couldn’t make it. after a series of flimsy excuses, she finally broke down and told him she was scared. it’s always been easier to admit to ian.

it’s okay, he said. it’s okay, it’s okay.

looking down at this photo, at ian’s smile and mickey’s head thrown back in laughter, at her siblings all crowded around them, she wonders what exactly she’d been so afraid of.

there’s a note tucked in the envelope, just a torn scrap of notebook paper. she recognizes ian’s sloppy scrawl immediately: love you, fi! :) ian

beneath ian’s message, a warning in block letters - call us more, bitch. ps thanks for the toaster.

a toaster seems a poor return after skipping their fucking wedding, but she’s happy if they’re happy. it’s the little things that make a life, after all. fiona runs a finger over mickey’s note. call us more. she knows it’s for ian.

ian would never say it, not like liam or debbie do, but she knows he misses her. if anyone, he understands the need to flee, and he’d never want her to regret her choice. still, fiona hears the way ian hesitates before hanging up on their phone calls.

it’s early, earlier still in chicago, but she knows he’ll be up.

the video connects, and ian’s grinning at her. it steals her breath for a moment. they smile at each other, brother and sister coming alive in the morning light.

“hey, sweet face,” she sings. “how ya doin’?”

lip doesn’t like being without fred this long. it makes his skin itch to be separated from him, especially when he knows tami’s not there. but he can’t afford to miss a day of deliveries, and tami agreed to cover extra shifts to save some cash for the new baby.

so he dropped his son off with ian and mickey this morning. he trusts them with fred, always has. he’d trust ian with everything for the rest of his life - but that doesn’t make it any easier.

lip sits on a park bench during his lunch break, finger hovering over ian’s number. he doesn’t want to call. he doesn’t need to call. ian and mickey dote on fred. he’s safe, he’s loved, and he’ll be back in lip’s arms before too long.

he knows ian loves his son. his brother fell in love the moment he saw fred’s pixelated little face from his prison bunk. uncle ian never faltered.

at first he thought mickey loved fred just as an extension of ian. but watching him look at fred, watching him talk to him and play with him - lip knows mickey loves him just for being fred. and lip relies on that love, to leave his son behind all day.

it’s comforting to know that freddie’s with his uncles today. but lip is still aching for a glimpse of him.

before he can dial ian for facetime, a text from mickey comes in. a photo: ian stretched out on the couch, fast asleep with a juice box propped up against his cheek, like he’d passed out mid-sip.

freddie’s curled up against his chest, his own juice box clutched between tiny fingers. his mouth is parted in sleep, just like ian’s.

when the juice hits, mickey’s texted him, and then - fuckin lightweights.

lol he types back. thanks. he gets nothing more than a thumbs up from mickey, but it’s all he needs to get through the rest of his day. it carries him through, knowing that ian and fred are safe together in sleep. that mickey’s there. that everyone’s okay, and will be okay, until lip’s able to see them himself.

mandy hasn’t been jealous of mickey in a long time.

it used to boil in her gut, burning at her lungs until she hissed with steam. it wasn't that mickey had ian - or at least, that wasn't what it became - it was that he had ian's attention.

she was so used to ian being hers. mandy never had much that was just her own. ian, her best friend, had been hers before he was ever mickey's.

of course, she never really knew just how long ian had been mickey's.

but it faded as they all grew apart. once she found steadier footing, mandy was just happy they had each other. the two of them, against it all.

but when ian calls to tell her that he's surprising mickey with a belated honeymoon, three years after their wedding, she's fucking jealous.

and it's not that she doesn't think mickey deserves to sit on the beach and sip fruity cocktails with his husband, and it's not like she thinks she'd deserve it more - though she'd really like to.

it's that even after years of doing better - of feeling better, of being around better people - mandy has yet to feel truly pampered. she wants, just once, to feel indulged and utterly cared for. she wants someone to tell her to put her feet up while they bring her the world.

so she pouts while they're away. she pouts when they come back, and she pouts as she opens the mysterious package they send.

but it slips when she sees what's inside, giving way to a teary grin. a bottle of fancy tequila, chocolates and luxurious lotions obviously stolen from their hotel, a little beaded bracelet. and a printed photo - we love you! scrawled on the back.

mickey is cheesing at the camera, buried to his neck in sand. his eyes are squinty and his face is bright red, both from laughter and from impending sunburn. ian is just barely in the shot, leaning in to point at mickey.

they never looked like that back then. so silly and free. like fun could be their first priority. she runs her finger over her brother's face. she could never begrudge him this.

mandy sticks the photo on her fridge and pops open the tequila. they’re hers still, both of them. they brought her part of their world, and she's delighted.

ian: how's the big night going?

carl: really good

ian: yeah? things are busy?

carl: yeah, check it

carl: [photo]

the bar is packed tonight. their first big event after buying the bar - a happy hour for his friends at the station.

it was an easy call, to quit the day job and take up the alibi. he hadn't been happy. carl spent weeks waking up with a knot in his stomach, sweating through his days as he tried to figure out how to make the job work.

as it turns out, it couldn’t work.

but as ian told him, there's nothing more gallagher than going all in on something only to have it blow up in your face. ian also told him that it's bravery - to recognize when a path isn't the right one.

he's not sure if following in kev's footsteps is the right one, either. carl never saw much of a vision for himself to begin with. but maybe there's a freedom in making it the fuck up as you go.

his phone chirps with a reply from ian - oh god, in response to his photo of wall to wall cops. another one comes in seconds later, this time a photo.

mickey's sneering up at him, though the corners of his lips are obviously fighting against a smile. one hand is flipping him off, the other is pushing up his nose - like a pig. mickey says oink oink, bitch, the text reads.

carl snorts, shoots off a thanks a lot, bitch, and gets back to work.

he's wiping down the counter at the end of the night when one last text comes in. he expects it to be debbie, telling him not to be too loud coming home later. instead, it's -

ian: proud of you

debbie resisted living alone as long as she could. she clung to the gallagher house by her fingernails, catching at the doorframe as lip finally pushed her out.

it wasn't quite so dramatic in the end. but it felt that way sometimes.

and when it comes down to it, it's been nice to do it on her own. it's something they all needed, maybe, to know that they can. debbie looks down at franny, asleep in her lap, and runs her fingers through her daughter's red hair. spending more time alone with her, getting to know her kid better - that's been worth it from the start.

but she still misses her people. she misses walking into a room and finding a sibling waiting for her. she misses catches glimpses of their chaos as they all pass through the house.

she pulls out her phone and taps out a text in the family thread - what's everyone up to? send pics! a selfie, complete with franny snoring in her lap, starts them off.

lip sends one of him and liam, looking bored at the grocery store. tami sends one of their backs as she walks behind them.

fiona's by the pool, carl's at the gym. mickey sends a picture of ian in their garden. he's sitting in the dirt, grinning wildly, holding two tomatoes over his eyes. the chat lights up.

liam: 🍅 he's starting to turn into one finally

carl: you look ridiculous

lip: he always had the dreamiest eyes

fiona: sweet tomatoes sweet face!

debbie: taking the ginger look a little too seriously, ian

ian: fuck all of you

ian: except fiona

it's not the same, ragging ian over text. she’d rather see him huff and give them all the chin. but when ian sends a voice memo, cursing them all out and critiquing their selfies, she thinks maybe a little distance is a good thing.

“what’s that?”

“get this, there was a box of your shit in the attic.”

“my shit?”

“yeah. from when you were stayin’ with us i guess. lip told me to take it or he’d throw it all out.”

“dick.”

“i poked through it a bit. mostly shirts and a bong. bunch of lighters.”

“nice, gimme that. think i can still pull these off?”

“you can pull anything off.”

“true, i can. think there’s any money in here? oh shit i feel paper - oh. oh shit.”

“doesn’t look like cash. that looks like - is that me?”

“no it’s my other redheaded husband.”

“he was a cute kid.”

“no, he was annoying. look at that stupid hat.”

“hey! why do you have this anyways? i don’t think you were even there that day.”

“wasn’t. i, uh - i stole it from mandy’s room. after you, y’know. left.”

“oh. and you kept it?”

“you look like a fuckin’ punk in this picture, but yeah. your face is so goofy. i don’t know. it looks like you. how i remembered you.”

“awww, you remembered me?”

“shut up, you know i did. felt less alone, lookin’ at it.”

“shit, i’m sorry you felt so alone, mick. i’ll be sorry for the - ”

“enough of that. i got the real thing now. without the dumbass hat.”

“well what should we do with this then? toss it, frame it?”

“give me that. god, neither. i’m gonna keep it somewhere. for me.”

“you’re gonna put it in your bedside table, aren’t you?”

“fuck off, no i’m not.”

“yes you are. and that’s okay! you gotta start bulking up your secret ian picture collection if you wanna catch up to me and my mickey stash.”

“you are an unbelievable creep.”

“and? you married me. you love that i collect your face.”

“do fuckin’ not.”

“yes - c’mere - you do, though.”

“fine. maybe i do.”

#these are very quick!#lil slices of life 😊#what do we think of the dialogue ones?#i’m loving them it’s so fun #anyways i wanted to queue up more of these #but life got in the way as it tends to do #i’ll be back with more soon!#tumblr writing #shameless #mel’s away queue

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