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chakkll · 6 months

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Worries, Worries

Mike Schmidt x gender neutral!reader

Fandom: Five Nights at Freddy’s

Synopsis: Mike’s been doing better. He hasn’t dreamed of his brother since Freddy’s and hasn’t needed sleeping pills for almost a week now. Well, at least he thought he was doing better.

Warnings: Post movie, established relationship, fluff

Word count: 1k

*please forgive how short and probably rusty it is, it’s been a minute since i’ve posted!

Everything’s been good. One might say almost too good.

Mike has been sleeping well, been happier, and been getting along with his sister better, all because of what happened at Freddy’s.

But all this goodness is making Mike nervous. You can feel it.

“You sure you don’t want me to tuck you in?” You call after Abby as she shuffles down the hall, her drawings and crayons tucked into her arm.

A soft “yeah” is all you get in return before you hear Abby’s door shut. You smile to yourself before glancing to the clock.

9:32pm. Mike will be home soon.

Mike asking you to watch over his little sister in the evenings has become part of your schedule. He has Fridays and Saturdays off, but other than that, you’re cooking Abby’s dinner and making sure she gets some sleep, and you wouldn’t have it any other way.

Some might think it an inconvenience to constantly watch over your boyfriend’s little sister and end up seeing her more than him, but you adore Abby.

Sure, she might not talk very much, but she’s a very creative girl. It’s hard not to like her.

When Mike first introduced you to each other, Abby ignored your greetings and went right back to her room to draw. At first, you were pretty sad about her initial reaction to you and Mike’s relationship, but Mike managed to convince you that her reaction was a positive one.

That was five months ago.

Now, Abby draws next to you instead of in her room and will answer questions about the drawings. Plus, if you catch her in the right mood, she’ll tell you about her friends.

You yawn as you flick through the TV channels until you land on a documentary about seals. You glance to the clock.

9:46pm. Mike will be home soon.

Your eyes drift from the clock to the floor. A rather beaten up book lays half open, a ripped page on display.

You heave yourself off the couch and over to the book. You carefully pick it up and close it to see the cover.

Dream Theory. Interesting.

You flip to the back to read the blurb while walking back to the sofa.

You flop back onto the couch and flip to the first page. The seal documentary plays in the background, the narrator now detailing the wonders of how they hunt.

You prop your head up on the armrest and lay down, reading through the book.

Just as you’re getting invested in the book, you hear the lock unlock. Turning the TV off with a click, you turn around, only to be met with the sight of your exhausted boyfriend. You smile.

“Hey,” You greet as you get up and off the couch to meet him at the door.

Mike nods and grunts a small “Hey, baby.”

“How was work?”

Mike shrugs, and his gaze drifts down to the book in your hand. He blinks.

“You’re reading my book?” He asks curiously, causing you to glance to the book.

“Oh… yeah. Sorry.” You apologize bashfully and hand him the book, resting your other arm at your side.

Mike shakes his head dismissively at your apology. “What d’you think?”

You stare at him blankly. “…What?”

“The book. What do you think of the book? The theory?”

Realization dawns on you. When you see an eager glint in Mike’s eyes, you weakly shrug.

“I mean… I’m not too far in, but it seems interesting.”

A hint of a smile graces Mike’s lips. “So it seems possible.” You nod.

You smile softly at his excitement from your words.

“Anyways…” You wrap your arms around his neck for a hug. “How was work?” You ask again.

His arms loosely wrap around your waist as he buries his head into your neck. “Fine,” He murmurs quietly. “How’s Abby? Did she eat dinner?”

You smile at his worry for his sister. “Yeah. And she drew next to me afterwords.” At your words, you can feel Mike relax.

“She’s been doing better. You’ve been doing better. I can tell.” A low chuckle rumbles from his chest.

“I don’t know about that.” He murmurs dismissively into your shoulder.

You blink, frowning at his words. “What makes you say that? You haven’t dreamt of Garrett since Freddy’s, right?” You pull away from the hug and rest your hands on his shoulders. His hands come to rest on your hips as he sighs softly.

“Well, no…”

“So why do you say that?” You frown softly, bringing a hand to cup his face.

“Just… things have been going smoothly. Almost—almost too smoothly.” Mike mumbles, leaning into your touch as his eyes flutter closed.

You sigh again. “Mike… look at me,” He reluctantly opens his eyes, but his gaze rests on your chin instead of your eyes.

“You’re okay. You have a new job that has pretty okay pay and hours, both Abby and you are happier, and you know what happened to Garrett. Right?”

Mike stubbornly stares at your chin, staying silent.

“So why do you say that, baby?”

“I just…” Mike trails off. “…I’m used to having something to worry about.”

You frown. “What, and there’s nothing to worry about now?”

Mike blinks and slowly looks to your eyes. “…Huh?”

“I don’t mean to make you feel worse, but you still have things to worry about.”

You can see panic rise in Mike’s eyes. “What… what do I have to worry about?”

You smile fondly at your boyfriend.

“You gotta think of a present for me for our six-month anniversary.”

You can practically see the gears turning in the man’s head as he stares at you quizzically. Finally, he cracks a smile.

“…Weird way to comfort me.” He looks away, smiling to himself.

“Yeah, but what else would get you to smile?” Mike rolls his eyes, causing you to chuckle. Your gaze drifts to the kitchen, reminding you that Mike almost never has dinner when he works evenings.

“You didn’t have dinner, right? I’ll make you something.” You start to head to his kitchen to quickly make him something to eat.

“…Wait.” Mike murmurs softly, lightly grabbing your sleeve.

You turn to him curiously, only to see a slightly bashful Mike staring at the floor.

“…Sleep here tonight?”

You can feel yourself smiling. “Of course.”

Mike’s shoulders visibly relax.

“Now, let’s get you something to eat.”

#mike schmidt #fanfic #fanfiction #x reader #x you #x you fluff #fnaf movie #fnaf #imagine #oneshot #mike schmidt x reader #mike schmidt x you #mike schmidt x y/n

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beatcroc · 2 months

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a year!!! as of today i have now been drawing these funny little pizza freaks, to the exclusion of almost everything else, for!!! an entire year!!! i wanted to do a nice group shot/lineup of everybody to compare to when i first started trying to draw them because oh boy were they bad. i never even posted most of them anywhere because they were so bad. but im posting them here, now, to see how everything's changed/evolved.

this is probably the hardest time i've ever had trying to figure out how to work with a style, but we got there eventually; i'm pretty happy with the handle i've got on everybody now...dont let ur memes be dreams. lots of unimportant journaling and idle thoughts abt it below.

older pics

the first one is the VERY first time i drew them, before i thought i was going to actually have any interest in drawing them [lmao]; it was just the one isolated image, for my friendserver, to illustrate the funney message, so there was no attempt to make it Good or actually understand anything going on w/ the designs or style.

second is the original run of practices sketches to start trying to figure them out for real; done after i started having ideas for the comics and such and realized oh god maybe i am actually gonna draw fanart for this. [again, lol, and lmao.]

third one is the first pt art thing i posted on here. there were a couple weeks of sprite studies between this one and the previous image. the one on the top right wasn't part of that post i just threw it on as space filler; i'd intended to shift to doing Sprite Redraws But Stylized to explore tings more, but that was the only one i did. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

individual characters

peppino: by far the hardest dear god. bro what ARE your shapes how DOES your face work. jesus christ. everything i have trouble with this style for, peppino has it in excess. i draw in polygons! i need consistency! and that is the last thing this kind of style is concerned with. they are made of squarshy clay and i do not understand how to mold them. i was really hoping trying to learn this game's style would GIVE me that kind of flexibility for fun exaggerated facial expression but i don't think much came of it in the end 😔. anyway on the bright side all this means once i got peppino figured out a little bit everybody else clicked way easier.

fake peppino: honestly i never did anything with him on purpose except for how his eyes work + the perma-smile thing. i figured ok hes supposed to look weird and off model so whatever happens with him happens. and it did. and it kept happening. it is still, in fact, happening.

noise/ette: somehow, for every bit that peppino was the least natural thing i've ever tried, these two worked pretty much right off the bat. i still don't understand it, seeing as pretty much all the things at play for peppino are also at work for them. i think the new sketches are actually a little worse than older ones but not enough that i care.

gustavo: really funny bc i drew him on model twice and just went 'okay, cool nice, easy, um. he doesn't have any fucking legs?' fortunately he was the only one i had a strong idea for how to stylize him [square] and it worked exactly as i was hoping so wahoo.

brick: is an animal and therefore 5000x easier and more natural for me to draw/stylize than anything else in the cast. that is Just a rat bro. i can draw a rat.

gerome: i think the funniest one here. the most drastic and least necessary change imo. i was gonna have him be really small at first, like smaller than the noises, but then i just... didn't. he's just peppino-sized now. also i gave him like. actual human facial structure, which is funny bc in most cases i'd do anything to avoid, but it works well for his being A Rock to give him some angles and definition like that+ to differentiate his vibe from the rest of the cast who are all very squishy. also since he is essentially Just A Head it's good to emphasize that too ig.

john: i only drew john a couple times but he gets to be here because i like him. and because most of the stuff i applied to gerome was readily applicable to john, though i did try to keep him a little more uncanny because he is a Huge And Lanky Freak. i hate that he is barefoot btw but idk how to make his color balance look right with shoes.

pizzahead: i did not want to put him on here honestly but i Have drawn him a handful of times and more importantly i didn't know what i was gonna do with john's pose if i didn't have him there to be glared at. the only thing that's different with him is giving him wider-bottomed pants, which i got from when i tried to draw these guys in clone high style [i never posted that one either][i will eventually]

snick: he gets to be here because 1. he's like 6 lines 2. i like him and 3. ive scribbled him a few times offhand and it went pretty well

misc

there are some guys missing because those are guys i didn't draw enough [or at all] to have gotten comfortable with them. sorry

i would have Liked to shade these but for the time being i have accepted that my grasp of light/shadow has decayed to the point im not going to be happy with anything i try there, so For Now i am working on my presentation with flats i guess. gerome has a shadow only because he's shaded like that ingame and looks naked without it

anyway if you are still reading [hi?] i get to shamelessly plug now. i'm over the hill of my pizza run now, and while i still have plenty of things i want to make here, most of the bigger more in-depth ones have passed. pizza tower was the first thing in THREE YEARS to get me out of my oc groove to doing fanart, and once i am done with my ideas here i will be going right back to it. if you like my art or how i write characters/interactions you should check out my oc/webcomic blog @jamverse . i can't promise people who like pizza stuff will be terribly into my designs, but i can guarantee i treat my guys with the exact same sort of tone i handle the pt guys with. and hell, i've mentioned it a few times before, but like 70% of my characterization for fake pep is just copied off one of my characters, so if u are going to miss him... he will still be there in spirit >;p

and if you dont care about any of that and are still reading thank you anyway. actually making these comics + seeing how shockingly well-received they've been has done a lot for my confidence, and for seeing that my kind of stuff IS something people enjoy :')

#pizza tower #peppino spaghetti #fake peppino #gustavo and brick #the noise #noisette #pizzahead #arting #pizzaposting

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sunasjellyfruit · 7 months

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TattooArtist!bfSuna

This has been sitting on my drafts for almost a year now and I don't know why I never posted it, so I've decided that in the next few days I'm gonna start posting everything that I left unfinished to see if it inspires me to start rewriting again.

Warnings: Suna beeing Suna, sex, nipples, chest mentions but no gender implied, kisses, relationship.

I'm on my Suna brainrot once again.

TattooArtist!bfSuna who, the first time you enter in his shop gets nervous and messes up the prices, so he ends up giving you a discount.

TattooArtist!bfSuna who leaves a whole slot for one day just to give you your first tattoo, and he’s even more excited than you. Once he finishes he palmes your arm encouragingly, as if you were a good little girl. “Well done, you didn’t even cry.” “I’m not a child, this wasn’t even painful at all.” “Oh, wait ‘til you get one in a more sensitive place.”

TattooArtist!bfSuna who always gives you the same cherry pink drink when he finishes working on your skin, because he saw you applying some cherry gloss on your lips, and found himself overthinking over the fact of how sweet that has to be.

TattooArtist!bfSuna who, a few months later when he kisses you for the first time gets to taste the cherry flavour on your lips and feels prouder than ever.

TattooArtist!bfSuna who has on his desk a drawing of yours that you drew one night when you both got drunk together, and he plans on getting it tattooed one day.

TattooArtist!bfSuna who shivers every time you trace the outline of his tattoos with your cold fingers.

TattooArtist!bfSuna who, every time you're feeling sad or down let's you colour the inside of his tattoos with colorful markers even if they end up looking childish, because he just wants to see his partner happy.

TattooArtist!bfSuna who caresses the skin on the inside of your thigh soothingly while giving you a tattoo there, getting turned on by the sounds of small gasps of pain you make. His breath is definitely too close to your intimate parts and the only thing you can focus on is the way his eyes keep getting darker.

TattooArtist!bfSuna who groans when you pull at his hair when the pain becomes too much, but let's you use him because he understands. Now, once he's done? He's fucking you ruthlessly and making you forget all pain.

TattooArtist!bfSuna who goes crazy when you tell him you wanna get some nipple piercings, and gives his workmate a free day to give you full attention, even if piercing is not his speciality, because there's no way he's letting his co-worker see your naked chest. He's amazed when you finally get it done and claim it wasn't too painful, but he's there with you the next weeks, when your nipples feel too sore and every shirt feels uncomfortable. He takes special care in healing them correctly, even giving your chest some nice massages that you know are not necessary, but who would complain? Not you, specially not after seeing Suna's eyes focused with adoration on you.

#haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu!!#hq headcanons #haikyuu #haikyuu oneshot #anime #art #hq #hq suna #haikyuu suna headcanons #suna smut #suna headcanons #haikyuu suna #suna rintarou #suna x reader #im back hehe #artist suna #my writing #writer

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citrustan · 1 year

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for what it's worth [1/4] (jjk)

pairing: jeon jungkook x reader

genre: angst, fluff (this comes in a bit later), light smut, college student!reader x crush!jungkook

summary: you make an awful revelation about your crush of two years.

word count: 3k

warnings: none! except for the fact that this might read a teeny tiny bit creepy to some.

note: hello, here is me trying to give you this story before i scrap it because who knows? maybe some of you might not hate it! i need to edit it a little more but that happens later :) please tell me what you think! don't be silent! even if you think it's bad, i'd really love to know about it!

1 - 2 - 3 - 4

“You know, this may sound delusional but I think he’s kind of into me,” you blush, hiding half of your blushing face behind your fingers.

“Oh?” Jia smiles at you.

“Yeah, I mean, I think so?”

“What makes you say that?” Jia tilts her head, asking out of curiosity.

“Well, during the whole ‘Antonio is homosexual’ discourse, he sided with me and he sat next to me for the third time this week--” you pause to take a sip out of your cranberry and lychee juice box, “And he drew in my journal. Roses and bunnies. There’s nothing he can’t do.”

Jia reached forward to play with your braided hair, “_____, is he, like, single?”

Anxiously biting at the paper straw that the café gave you, your response was immediate.

“I think so. Nothing on his social media indicates that he’s, you know, not single. He barely posts!” you pout. “Jungkook’s so pretty, he could easily be a model. Super photogenic.”

“Hm, that’s true.” Jia bit her lip. “But what if he was dating someone? It would change things for you,” - “I mean, yeah sure, but I still think I want to confess when I have the chance to.”

“Even if he wasn’t single? Isn’t that kind of an asshole move?” Jia snapped.

Your eyes momentarily widen at her sudden outburst. What had gotten into her?

You grimace at her. “Um, yes. I wouldn’t-” you shrug, “if he has a girlfriend, I will not try anything, of course. But he doesn’t.”

Jia gave you a pointed look, “It was just hypothetical.”

“I know.” You frown.

It’s been a while since you first set your eyes on Jeon Jungkook. But never has the thought of him having a girlfriend ever crossed your mind. He just seemed like a solo rider. It felt safe to crush on him.

The first time you laid your eyes on Jungkook was at a mutual friend’s freshman mixer. You’d like to think you hit it off but couldn’t figure out how to proceed, with your schedules overlapping. Neither of you made the effort to switch around or make it work. So, you don’t feel too bad about it. You have never really crossed paths after that before he was out in the same class as you this semester.

Most people know him as the secret weapon of the music theory and software development thingy departments. He’s easily the most beautiful man on campus and his smarts and personality somehow match up.

You’re pretty sure if this was some shitty, unoriginal, K-drama, he could be the perfect second lead who never gets the girl he wants.

Naturally, after the night of the mixer, you couldn’t help but garner a small, minuscule, almost insignificant crush on the man; which has grown astronomically since then.

You can’t seem to understand what made Jia even ask you something like that. Unless---

“Why would you ask me that out of nowhere? Have you heard otherwise?” You suddenly interrogate her, startling her. She visibly flinches.

“What? No.” You hear her scoff. “I just realised we never discussed it before, ever.”

She laughed it off while you stared at her, unconvinced.

“I told you. Hypothetical.” She reminds you after taking note of your curious and somewhat frazzled state.

Jia was usually never interested in anything you had to say about Jungkook.

Although, you’re able to catch on to some cues slowly. Jia gets annoyed when you blabber about Jungkook. It’s understandable though. You speak of him almost every single day. If Jia were to gush about someone to you the same way, you couldn’t promise you’d receive it any better than she does.

Attempting to change the subject, you offer her a bite of your red velvet pastry, “I think they’ve stopped using the off-brand cream cheese.”

She opens her mouth, waiting for you to feed her.

You spoon a proper amount of cake to icing ratio and wave it in front of her nose.

“It does smell better,” she hums with a pleased expression on her face. “But, the overly sweet cake and bitter matcha combo was charming in its own way.”

An animated, pink, heart-shaped light bulb goes off in your head.

“Do you think Jungkook would like it if I brought him matcha or another drink? It’s a… you know, a gesture. Might put me on his radar.”

So much for wanting to stop discussing him.

You stare at her, eagerly waiting for her take on your little idea.

She snickered, but you swore it could be mistaken for a scoff, “Just leave him be.”

You quiet down but internally make a note to yourself to buy two cranberry lychee juice boxes instead of one tomorrow. Boys like cranberry, right?

Recently, you’ve been finding Jia more irritable. Not just when you blab about some guy but even in general. You swore you could feel her distancing herself from you and that’s a chance you don’t want to take.

Jia isn’t the only one on the receiving end of your love-foolish chatter.

By now, you’ve most definitely discussed it with almost every friend of yours, excluding the mutual ones you share with Jungkook. Even the friends who don’t go to the same university as you know of your crush on Jungkook. Although, they’re a tad more receptive to your endless chatter than Jia.

It’s embarrassing only if you really, really think about it. But, you generally brush the humiliation off as a secondary, less important issue.

Jia and your relationship started and ended right where it began--- at university. She’s your only friend in university with whom you share most of your classes, precisely six out of nine in total.

During your first year, you decided to stick together out of convenience, sharing a fashion designing and styling major and whatnot. It’s easier to latch onto each other when you’re expected to work in a group than find someone new and socialize at this level. The competition is pretty cutthroat, you wouldn’t want to risk working alongside someone you have no chemistry with. It’s too late for experimentation.

Jia, unlike you, lives off-campus and her bus arrives almost twenty minutes before your college shuttle that goes directly from the cafe to your dorm gate. So, you accompany her to the bus station and wander off for a while.

Remembering to run a small errand, you stop at a stationary store to buy ribbons and envelopes. Just in case.

It was a fifteen-minute walk to the store and back. You swing your fluffy, white bag and trot to your favourite place within a five-mile radius of your campus.

You liked to envision your relationships. It’s most certainly not healthy but Jungkook is just oh, so dreamy, you couldn’t help it even if you tried.

You stare off into the sky, daydreaming of your non-existent relationship with him.

You would write him love notes and letters frequently and decorate them with fresh, red, or pink lipstick stain kisses, maybe a few doodles and stickers as well. And when he’d buy you flowers, you’d do your best to dry them and preserve them so that you can look back at your relationship and swoon.

Maybe he’d take you to watch plays or concerts or maybe he’s the type to win you a stuffed toy at the carnival or to dress up for a theme party. And you could save the tickets and wristbands from those events.

You can’t even bear the thought of actually being able to go to a regular college party with him, being his date, the one who gets to dance on him, hold him and kiss him--- that’d disappoint quite a lot of people, you reckon. He is well-liked. A tiny bit private too. Maybe you could be his little secret. The thought of being his secret girlfriend turns you redder than a plum. Imagining yourself being his anything makes your heart pump blood twice as hard as the normal rate.

“Hey?”

Sigh.

“_____?”

Involuntarily, you respond to your name being called, “Huh?”

“Hey, you’re holding up the line.”

Your eyes focus on the familiar-faced cashier. An embarrassed giggle escapes your lips. You quietly apologised to the customers behind you.

“Joon. Hi, sorry. Spaced out.” You blush. As if he knows what you’re thinking about, he smiles fondly, “I don’t know if it’s cute or creepy that you think of him this often.”

Furrowing your brows, “It’s innocent! I’m not, like, harassing him or sexualizing him or anything.”

Namjoon scans your ribbons and the packet of off-white envelopes, “I’m only messing with you, cloud.”

You hum knowingly. “See you in class.”

You wave him off.

'Cloud' is one of the nicknames lovingly given to you by your seniors, Namjoon and Yoongi.

Yoongi says that you think miles ahead and higher than anyone else he knows and Namjoon agrees. But, you’ve always thought it was because you’ve got your head up in the clouds most of the time. It’s like a permanent state of consciousness. It is your only indulgence. Time goes by way too fast, you’re busy all the time. The only ‘escape’ is your silly little daydreams.

While people find your crush on Jungkook cute, sometimes you can’t help but put yourself in his shoes.

You wouldn’t want someone like you crushing on you, so why would he? It’s one of the things that has stopped you from actually asking him out, or talking to him at all in the past.

Now, on the other hand, you’re nearing the end of the semester and the beginning of your winter break. Soon, you’ll have all the time in the world.

This time, you refuse to get too ahead of yourself and fantasize about your prementioned relationship. Perhaps, it’s ambitious or even egoistical to call it a premonition.

You’re on your way back to the shuttle pick up point when you notice another oddly familiar figure.

Jungkook!

You shake your nerves and walk as casually as you possibly can, to where he stood.

Secretly clearing your throat, you greet him with a shy smile, “Hi.”

When he doesn’t respond, you debate on shifting even closer, but that would be an awkward move and a serious invasion of his personal space. His dark hoodie seemed to interfere with his peripheral vision, too.

So, you tap him gently on the arm. His head swiftly faces yours, making you take a step or two back.

“Hi,” You owlishly stare at him.

Jungkook scrunches his brows, a little embarrassed that he doesn’t recognise you.

“Hey… how are you?” He recovers. “Good! A little cold.” You smile.

It smelt like snow, but you wouldn’t want to creep him out with your odd senses.

Where did he know you from? He’s positive he has seen you before.

“Right, yeah. It smells like snow,” he responds.

t that, your mouth almost drops open. That’s what you were going to say too!

Your enthusiasm shows as you explain, “It does! I thought I’d scare you if I said something like that.”

The corners of Jungkook’s eyes crinkle, complimenting the huge smile that adorned his face.

“I’m Jungkook. Or JK. What’s your name?”

Oh?

Ow, you internally clench your heart.

Your face momentarily falls deep down into the ground, but you almost instantaneously pick it right back up.

The object of your secret affection doesn’t :) even :) know :) you.

“_____.” You shyly brush your hair off your shoulder to your back, “We’re in literary theory studies with-” - “Carmichael? Right! You’re Jia’s _____.”

You falter but register what he just said to you.

Whose what now?

He nods, “I knew I saw your face before! I remember your elocution thing about Woolf. It left a mark on me!” He pats you on the shoulder. Like you would a child.

But, more importantly, Jia’s _____?

You knew the girl had godly looks and an angelic personality, but- “Hey, is everything okay? I swear I meant it in the best way possible. I didn’t have much interest in literature. But ever since that speech, I’ve been focusing more on figuring out books by myself rather than depending on what the author tries to convey. It’s fun to be rebellious.” Jungkook elaborates when he sees your eyes dim.

You fail to register his compliments for a bit. A million thoughts are racing in your mind at thousands of miles an hour.

“_____?” Jungkook slightly bends his knees to get a better look at you.

“Mhm, right. The correct term is intentional fallacy,” you mutter with a ghost of a smile. “And, thanks.”

Although Jungkook’s a little confused, he nods anyway. “Yeah! I-”

Tilting your head to the side, you blurt, “How do you know Jia?”

Jungkook stares at you.

“Sorry, I mean, I don’t know. She has never… mentioned you before?” you offer.

“Oh. Well, I’m- Jia’s my girlfriend. She has talked about you a few times. Enough to know you’re good friends,” he blushes.

“Oh!” You squeak.

You clutched the bag of accessories tighter. You’re sure your nails have made little, crescent injunctions on your palm because of how tightly you gripped the handle.

“Yeah. She didn’t tell you it was me…?” Jungkook was starting to look worried.

“Huh? No, yeah.” You nervously laugh, “I must’ve glossed over it, I mean- you know.”

You’ve never stuttered so hard in your entire twenty years of living.

“Actually, yes, I believe she did talk about you. The- uh, the candles?” You suddenly, vaguely remembered Jia talking about making candles with an ‘almost boyfriend’ friend.

Talk about quick reflexes.

Just like that, Jungkook lets out a sigh of relief, “Oh, good! You looked like you were about to start crying. Because- well, she tells me about this girl she's friends with who has some kind of a creepy, schoolgirl crush on me or something. And for a hot second, I thought that’d be you.”

You raised a brow. Way too many revelations are being made against your will. And your mind is empty. Null. Nada. Not a thought in that pretty little head of yours.

“Yeah. I know it sounds strange, turns out I don’t even know this girl.” Jungkook looked down at his phone, “The bus is later than usual.”

It’s hard to make sense of everything. Why would he suddenly assume you were the girl even though you’re Jia’s friend?

You press your lips together. “Do you think it’s creepy?”

“The- what?” He looks up from his phone, with his full attention on you.

“The girl. Who crushes on you or whatever.” You reiterate, “Do you find that creepy?”

Jungkook pauses. He tilted his head from side to side, deep in thought.

“Honestly?” He leans in closer to you and raises a brow, “Maybe a little. I mean, I don’t even know her. But, Jia does. They’re friends. Then again, maybe, creepy is an overstatement.”

You hum and stare at your feet.

Sadness and cold do not go well together. This time, actual tears threaten to slide down your cheeks. You shift your weight from one foot to another.

“Why’d you ask?” Jungkook senses a shift in mood.

“Oh, just out of curiosity.” You flash him a small smile. It didn’t reach your eyes. Jungkook slowly nods and goes back to checking his phone for updates.

Part of you wants to admit to him that it was you because suddenly, Jia’s questions from earlier that day made sense.

But then, you don’t want him to think of you as some creepy girl with a creepy crush.

You weren’t creepy.

People would’ve told you off if that were to be the case. They mostly encouraged you or at least didn’t stop you.

With the exception of Jia, of course. Even then, she wasn’t entirely vocal about it.

Is it pity or sadism?

Was everyone hiding this from you? Did everyone but you know about it?

You doubt that Sieun, a mutual friend of yours and Jia, would keep something like this from you if she knew.

But then again, you never expected Jia to turn out to be so… sneaky.

Your sadness outweighs your embarrassment.

“Are you waiting for the shuttle too?” he questions you with a raised brow.

You open your mouth for a second or two before settling on nodding.

“I don’t think the bus will get here anytime soon. It’s already snowed in on the fifth.” Jungkook turns the bright screen towards you. “We can Uber out of here before the snow sets in here. Unless you want to wait?”

“Sure,” you plainly reply.

“Is that a yes to the waiting or?” Jungkook chuckled.

“No. No more waiting. Uber’s good.” you softly spoke.

“Great, I’m on it!” He affirms.

It’s still unsettling for you to have no natural, outward reaction to indirectly being called a creep by someone you admired for so long.

Suddenly, your embarrassment skyrockets.

You can’t comprehend your emotions; you feel like you’ve been punched in the throat with a stone brick.

There are dead butterflies in your tummy--- moths. The wind feels colder, and you shudder.

You stare at the chipped nail polish on your thumb.

A warm jacket suddenly dons on your shoulders. “You need it way more than I do.” Jungkook frowns, “Are you okay?”

You abruptly turn to him, thanking him gently for his jacket, “I was just cold.”

You softly scoff, “You’re awfully kind.”

Jungkook pats you on the shoulder before he says, “Any friend of my girlfriend is a friend of mine! Plus, you’re cute.”

He’s really cheesy. Even though the single mention of Jia struck very thick, large needles in your tummy, you couldn’t help but smile at his words.

Au contraire to your expression, for the first time in a while, you’re not in the clouds but the complete opposite--- grounded, perhaps a more accurate term would be ‘devastated’. You’re absolutely, completely floored. Underground. Downright stumped. Confused. Definitely angry.

You vowed to push your emotions away for the duration of your travel with Jungkook.

#jungkook fic #jungkook x reader #jungkook au #jungkook x y/n #jungkook x oc #jeon jungkook crush #jungkook angst #jeon jungkook angst #jungkook fluff #jeon jungkook fluff #jeongguk x reader #jeon jungkook x reader #jungkook drabble #jungkook x female reader #jungkook fiction #jungkook fan fic #fic: for what it's worth #jeon jungkook x oc #citrustan

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storiesofsvu · 11 months

Text

Post Its

Tara Lewis x reader req'd by anon Warnings: language, some slight teasing, pure fluff. Tbh, it is a fcking crime that there isn't more Tara stuff out here, wtf? Send a req here! Sign up for her taglist here!

Tara loved you more than anything in the world, she had from practically the moment she’d met you. You were exactly the opposite of all the darkness that she saw on a regular basis working with the BAU and that was part of what drew her to you originally. You were soft, warm, colourful, her own personal ray of sunshine to come home to after a long dreary day. She knew part of that stemmed from the fact that you taught kindergarten, spending the days with tiny humans, you were always full of laughs, stories full of imagination and your sticker collection was far larger than she’d ever seen before.

She couldn’t help but smile when she’d catch you in moments of still very much being in teacher mode, as if you were talking to tiny humans instead of actual conversations. She’d once overheard you in the kitchen when a pot was boiling over say something along the lines of “oh come on now Mr. milk, that is not very smiley face sticker behaviour of you.” She chuckled but didn’t say anything, she found it endearing and adorable, not something to tease you about. It was just something that made her love you more, made her softer around you, able to finally embrace that side of herself knowing that you loved it as well.

Once the two of you moved in together it was pretty frequent that you’d pack lunches for the both of you to take to work. Tara hadn’t thought much of it, she usually bought lunch or they were on the jet by the time noon hit anyways, but you always brought your own, and made sure your classroom was stocked with extra snacks for kids who got hungry. So it just made sense for you to make double what you were making and pass the bag off to her with a gentle kiss on the way out the door. It started out as just food, though sometimes things were cut into cute shapes, sandwiches without crusts, little animal or frog skewers in the smaller pieces of fruit to use instead of forks.

“Awe, did your mom pack your lunch.” Luke teased with a smug grin one day and Tara simply snorted.

“Nah, you should know this by now, it was your mom.”

It was almost too easy to tease him back, and besides, he walked right into that one and he knew it.

That was when the rumours started that maybe Tara had a secret kid at home that no one knew about, hence why everything was kid accessible. The rumour lasted approximately ten weeks until she was invited out for post work drinks and she said she had somewhere important to be.

“I’m betting girl.” Spencer muttered and Luke laughed.

“Nah, I’ve seen dinosaurs in her lunches.”

“Girls can like dinosaurs too.” Garcia cut in with a huff and Tara raised a brow in their direction.

“This started out with me thinking you were trying to figure out my sexuality but you lost me at dinosaurs.”

“They think you have a kid.” Emily cut in dryly, already knowing the truth and Tara barked out a laugh.

“No, absolutely not. I have to get home because it’s my anniversary.” She shouldered her bag, “with my future wife, because I know you’ll spend another two months speculating that next.”

It was shortly after your wedding that the notes started. You and Tara had thoroughly enjoyed your three week honeymoon off in Italy. Nothing but time for each other, so much wine and more pasta than you could even imagine. While the transition back into work was relatively smooth for yourself, Tara found herself instantly thrown back into the world of darkness and back to back very jarring cases. You knew she was a little off when she came home absolutely defeated, forgoing dinner for a large glass of bourbon and latched onto you like a koala bear for as long as she possibly could before Monday rolled around. She accepted her lunch with a soft smile and a kiss, pausing to steal another one before you sent her on her way.

When she pulled her lunch out a yellow post it fell out of the bag, her brow furrowed when she went to pick it up, wondering if it was a work note she’d gotten stuck in there by accident or the label from someone else’s lunch in the fridge. Instead she found your writing scrawled across the front,

‘I love you so much, you are my sunshine.’ A large sun drawn in the corner with a huge smile and a pair of sunglasses. A couple of sparkly cloud stickers on it as well. She felt her shoulders drop as her entire body relaxed, releasing the tension of being back at work again and the small smile stayed on her cheeks for the rest of the day.

The next day she opened her lunch to find a slightly crushed chocolate chip muffin among her items, a pink post it with ‘You’re my stud muffin.’ Scrawled across it with a winky face and a print of your lipstick on the paper. She laughed silently, shaking her head at the way she could hear it in your voice. Opening the drawer of her desk she added the note to the little basket she had put the first one in, smiling softly down at them.

Two days later and she found an extra container of candy in her lunch, the post it note blocking the label, ‘You are one hot tamale.’ With a wink. She didn’t need to move the note to know what the candies were, but she still slipped it into the small growing pile in her desk drawer.

‘I know it’s cheesy, but I think you’re grate!’ Stuck to the outside of a cheese string. She audible laughed at this one, earning a raised brow from Spencer, but he didn’t say anything.

‘A list of cute things:

-you

-also you

-hey look, you!

-wait, wait, wait

-you!

-you’re cute’

‘Olive you’ with a drawing of two martini glasses complete with extra toothpicks of olives. (and a note on the back ‘seriously, don’t forget about drinks with the Tanners on Thursday’)

‘You are the sugar and spice of my life’

The notes weren’t every day, obviously if a case took her out of town for a week she wasn’t bringing that many packed lunches in one go. And she could tell that you usually did them the day after rough days, days when she needed a little uplifting, that you knew you would make her smile, if not laugh. Some of them were funny, some punny, and some just utterly adorable. It didn’t matter the theme, she saved every single one of them in her desk drawer, not quite able to part with them. And each day that you left a note, she would come with an even warmer smile than she left with, holding you a second longer when she greeted you, murmuring a soft I love you into your skin as she kissed you hello.

‘There is night so we can appreciate day, sorrow so we can appreciate joy, evil so we can appreciate well, you so I can appreciate love’

She felt the warmth blooming through her chest at that one, a little boost of how important she was to you on a day she was doubting herself.

‘The sound of your laughter is food for my spirit.’

‘I love you more than anything in the entire world. You are my rock, my sun, my moon and stars. You are the most snuggly teddy bear I’ve ever had in my bed, and without a doubt my absolute favourite. Can’t wait to see you, because that’s my favourite time of the day.’

It had been a rough couple of days and she almost felt tears building up in her eyes at that one. She quickly tucked it into her desk drawer and shook the feeling off, she had a reputation to uphold at the office after all. However the moment she was home she was sure to make you know just how much she loved you and how much she really did adore the lunch notes, even if you’d never actually talked about them. It was silent cues you took from each other about them, the way she had a little more pep in her step when she got home after you’d sent her one. And that was all you ever needed.

It was a few days later when Luke was looking over something for a case at her desk, Emily across at Spencer’s desk, eyes looking up at the white board trying to figure something out, Garcia perched on the edge of the desk. Luke let out a huff, recapping the highlighter in his hand before tossing it into the trash.

“Tara, you got a highlighter?”

“Yeah, top right.” She gestured to the drawer and turned back to Spencer as the two of them went through the geographical profile. A small chuckle broke out from behind them that she didn’t think anything of, probably some snarky remark from Penelope until she heard the shuffle of paper and Luke’s voice.

“The most snuggly teddy bear I’ve ever had in my bed… this is pure sap.”

“Oh, but she’s got puns too, look at this one.” Emily’s laughter was what broke Tara out of her trance when she finally turned around to see the three of them with the large array of colourful post it notes spread across her desk.

“Oh come on! That is not a highlighter!”

“Yeah, but it’s way more entertaining.” Luke replied with a smirk, reading off another one of the very sappy ones.

“I think it’s endearing.” Spencer, who had left her to join in on the fun chimed in, smiling brightly in her direction, “couples that continually do little things to keep each other’s spirits up are found to be much happier and have much more successful relationships.”

“Aweee, pookie bear.” Luke teased, “that your new code name?”

“I will shoot you right now.” Tara shot him the coldest glare.

“Does she come up with these on her own?” Penelope asked with a smile, “cause they are good!”

“I don’t know.” Tara replied with a shrug, “I’ve never asked her.”

“Are these what you’ve been smiling at in your lunch all the time?” Emily asked with a wild grin, holding up the stud muffin one and Tara let out a huff, rolling her eyes.

“Can we just stop this? Maybe focus on the task at hand?”

“Whatever you want pookie.” Luke made a kissy face in her direction and she hucked a white board marker at him.

It wasn’t that she was particularly embarrassed by it, but she was a little irked by them seeing all of them. Sure, they were all from you and they didn’t technically see how soft she got with you, but the façade was ruined. As much of a bad ass that she was in the field, she knew that nickname wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon and almost instantly started planning her revenge against Luke. Garcia would help her, she knew that.

A couple of days later she was smiling at a pink post it;

‘You are the sun on a cold day, the crunchiest leaf on my walk to work, the first snowflake of the season to catch on my tongue, the first daisy to bloom come springtime. You are the light of my life. You are the small things that make every and each day the absolute best that it can, you are the only thing that can brighten me up no matter what. I love you.’

She pulled open her desk drawer to add it to the basket and her hand stalled in its tracks when she found the basket empty. She groaned, pinching at the bridge of her nose as disappointment surged through her. Despite her best efforts the team had insisted on going through every single note you’d left for her, she must’ve forgotten to put them back into the drawer before leaving for the day, the cleaners probably thought the pile was garbage. Letting out a soft sigh, she placed the new note into the basket, figuring it wouldn’t hurt to start over now.

You were in the kitchen when you heard the door open, Tara calling out to you while she clunked around a little more than usual in the entry way.

“Hey!”

“Hey! Hope you’re in the mood for lasagna!” You called back, wiping your hands on a dish towel before padding your way over to the entry way to greet her.

“Baby you really don’t have to slave way over a hot stove for me after you’ve finished a full day of work.”

“Babe, please. I picked up a frozen lasagna and garlic bread on the way home, the oven did all the work.” You laughed, cupping her face in your hands as you popped up on your toes to kiss her softly. When you pulled back you noticed the black frame under her arm, “what’s that? Did you get some kind of award you failed to mention?”

“No.” She laughed, nudging her go bag off her shoulder to its spot on the entry way bench, “the team may have found the collection of post its stashed in my desk.”

Your head tilted in that adorable way that she loved so much, “the lunch notes?”

“Yeah.”

“You kept those?” You practically melted, a happy and somehow dreamy pout on your lips as you gazed up at her with wide eyes and she couldn’t help but fall even more in love with you, her hand stroking your cheek before she leant in to leave a kiss on the tip of your nose.

“Are you kidding me? As if I could ever throw them away! They were the second best part of my day.”

“Second?” You eyed her suspiciously for a moment before a grin broke out on your lips.

“Well the first is always coming home to you.”

“You fuckin’ teddy bear.”

“Yeah, and now the entire team knows it.” She rolled her eyes, “I guess after approximately one hour and forty two minutes of teasing they got scheming, but my money’s on this being Garcia’s idea.” She turned the frame on the table so you could actually see it, “she’s a bit of a sap and thought the notes were super cute, figured they’d be nice to have all together in one place we could actually admire instead of stashed away in my desk drawer.”

“Oh I knew I liked her.” Your fingers reached out, ghosting over the side of the frame, “this is so cute, and so thoughtful.”

“You like it?”

“I love it.” You leant into her side, humming happily when she kissed your temple.

“Where do you think we should put it?”

“Hmm.” You tugged your lip into your mouth, glancing around, “the wall behind the couch is particularly bare.” You turned to her with a warm smile and a gleam in your eye, “then maybe… we should have your team over for drinks next weekend? It’s practically a crime that I’ve only met Emily so far.”

“I’d love that.” Tara smiled brightly at you, cupping your cheek as she leant down to place a tender kiss on your lips, “and I love you.”

“Not as much as I love you.”

_______________

@mysticfalls01 @evilregal2002 @maybe-a-humanbean @alcabots @dextur @wchipxchipxp @m00nkn1ghts @daddy-heather-dunbar @augustvandyne @supercriminalbean @prentiss-theorem m @unsubologyy @svushots @happenstnces @sapphicprentiss @heidss @geekyandgay98 @pagetboobstarcomments @onmykneesformarvel @inlovewithemilyprentiss @akingcalledkris @desperate-gay @amypoehlfey @overtrred28 8 @kalixxa

#tara lewis #tara lewis x reader #criminal minds #tara lewis fluff #tara lewis fanfic #criminal minds fluff #criminal minds fafic

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mrghostrat · 4 months

Note

Okay I cant -- I need to say it out loud.

I am 100% sure, at this point, you are my favourite artist so far. And I have to honestly thank you for a lot of stuff so let me get to the point before my anxiety takes me back --

I came across you less than a month ago. I don't remember if I saw your art before reading your fictions (Mon Horrible Cherì was my first) or the other way around, but both inspired me so much I can't describe it properly. Art itself is my absolute weak spot. In my past years I always struggled working on that, I was never happy with my results, and mostly had drawn to pay bills than for my own happyness. In the end I hated it at the point that every line I drew was a cut on my hand instead of a moment of joy. And that was horrendous.

But then I came across your art, at some point - and I was amazed. Your style is something I wished to achieve years ago, or very similar to that at least, so I was totally into looking for more, and more, and more. I can't produce art of that quality, but for the first time I wasn't envious of another artist's ability and talent, I was just... Amazed. I felt very happy, can't say why, but your style totally fascinated me. It still do. Anytime you post something new it gives me a shot of serotonine, it makes me feel happy and inspires me to get back on my Huion and draw something too. I started to push it through everyday, and in less than a month I grew a lot. You don't know that, but you pushed me into art with a passion I didn't had since I was 16, and I turned 30 couple months ago. Now it gives me joy everytime I draw. It doesn't matter if the art I produce is no good, or if I change my style everytime (I'm trying a lot of styles right now), the only thing that matter is the way I feel when I sit here and just let my inspiration go. And I feel happy. Happy to draw. Happy to experiment. Happy to share. Somehow I don't feel ashamed of my art anymore, and I was for a long time. I improved so much in these weeks. I watched carefully almost all of your timelapses (I am in love with all of them btw) and followed your tutorials more than once. Your examples, the way you work, is just inspirational for me. I've seen someone was thankful to you for the way you use references and says people out there to do it too: I want to thank you for that too. References was a taboo until last month for me, and I was SO wrong! Those helps so much!

So, well. I am not sure I wrote this all correctly, english is not my native language (I'm italian) and I may have done some mistakes, well, I do not care. I just hope I was able to express you my gratitude for all you did for me - I had to let you know how much this means to me everyday.

Oh also: I love every part of your art, but I could stare at your linearts for days and never get bored by that. And the way you color! Don't make me start on that. I could speak for hours. Not sure you'll want that, believe me.

So, thank you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Thank you for making me believe in myself again. Thank you for giving me back my passion. Thank you for reminding me everyday I can draw for myself, for my own happyness. And thank you for making me happy.

You are a great artist.

Thank you! <3

i put off replying to this because i wanted to draw you something, but i just haven't had the energy after work and dont want u to think im ignoring you 😭

but i dont have WORDS. i'm so fucking proud of you. i'm so happy for you. browsing your blog and seeing the sheer amount of art and AUs you're making is so inspiring. your happiness is contagious and i hope you only continue to grow, and continue to foster all that joy for art.

thank you <3

#ask a rat #rat CRIES #everyone pls go look at fei's blog #this kills the bilv

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kit-williams · 18 days

Note

Barn Anon. I saw Egret's ask! Tumblr draft seems to be wonky for me so I'm sorry if there's any issues here.

Cooking or making anything in the base is a nightmare. You've sworn yourself off using the Blood Angel's kitchen base but you had volunteered to make cupcakes and cookies for your family reunion and your apartment's sad tiny oven just can't bake that many at one shot.

You can practically feel the eyes following you as you and Gabriel carried the various items you needed to the kitchen. Gabriel lets out a sad coo when you chased him out the moment he was done helping you carry the numerous bags of flour. In the middle of making the cookie dough you hear the main door creaking open. Large red armoured figures staring in, the green-ish lenses glowing ominously. The main door was closed and locked shortly after that.

That should be handle them, right? You were in the middle of decorating the cupcakes and waiting for the cookies to cool when the lights flickered and went out. A deep sigh when you hear the side doors open and numerous heavy metal footsteps. You knew this was going to happen eventually. When the lights came back on, one of the cookie trays was gone and there were a few empty spots where you had the cupcakes.

Gabriel was right behind you and the side doors wide open. He purrs happily as he wraps his arms around you. oh yeah, of course there's a cookie in his hand.

You hate cooking there but really do need to use their kitchen and well you look at the pounds upon pounds of prepped food brought back out to finally be use. At least you didn't have to do it alone or prep... you drew the straw as you signed yourself up to do the once a week non nutrient paste meal or whatever they called food? It was awful bland and flavorless... but Gabriel said it was full of everything that they needed.

Something about being utterly spoiled compared to what they were use to but it seems they hardly had any trouble going back to the bland paste.

You smile as the chili meal tastes good! You decided to make chili and well it went over well last time that Gabriel had asked if you would make it again. The only brothers in armor were the ones on guard duty as one of the kitchen staff made sure to set aside enough for the brothers guarding the base. It was loud as it was "family" night too so a bunch families were here with their astartes. Though you could see Jill here with her cute little girl with such pretty brown hair. One could almost say she looked like her mom's Astartis but you didn't buy into that gossip.

You feel sweaty and feel tired once it's all over as Gabriel came to join you in the kitchen with a wine glass in hand... the way it thickly sticks to the glass you're certain what is mixed into it or what it is fully. You are sipping your own definitely for certain wine as you were finally told you were done and you finally got yourself a bowl as the Guarding Astartes were relieved of their posts and given their bowls.

@egrets-not-regrets @liar-anubiass-blog @barn-anon @bleedingichorhearts

#warhammer 40k #reply #space marine husbandry #space marine husbandry sentience #barn anon #tales from the barn #answer #Gabriel the blood angel

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emerxshiu · 15 days

Text

rat brainrot going hard

sorry for not posting this week, i was cooking some stuff but this drawing took almost the entire week to do, worst part, it was a shitpost

i still dont know why this took me so much

so uh, almost all my drawings this week have been related to this two(and lis) so much so that i struggled because i wanted to draw other things so i would just stare at a blank sheet of paper for over half an hour, god that was torture, tho i dont mind drawing the sillies, sometimes it gets a bit boring drawing the same over and over y'know? im also going to take this as an opportunity to ramble about my forgo gijinka, because surprisingly i hadnt done that yet.

og image

ok now to actually talk about the wet rat

ive tried doing a gijinka of em since i joined the fandom (my first gijinka was fecto elfilis (well not really they were fnaf, but i mean when i got into kirby and when i started using the term gijinka))

but most of the time it just looked like elfilin but like...evil, with a different ear and a hospital gown, thats it, so i barely drew them since i didnt like that, but on february, i actually sketched an idea that i liked, and thought it looked cute but a bit off (i mean off in a good way)

(yes im posting this image again because i think its the best drawing of my forgo (im very inconsistent with my style ok))

they have their eyes closed most of time, like in game, i considered giving them legs but i ended up with the tail, since i didnt want to end up with like a fourth evil elfilin, the arms are like that so i can have em be small and weird like in the actual game, but i also made it so they can like change it, that way i can make em have hands and stuff if necessary (like to hold that frying pan for example)

not sure if a lot of you notice it but um, bro has no neck, i took away his neck privileges, i did it just to see but i ended up falling in love with that and stuck around, and also that allows me to draw them bending their head like in the drawing above because their neck isnt necking and i like that, i like being able to draw characters doing stuff that shouldnt be anatomically possible or is abnormal (i did something a bit similar with void) thair clothes are rugged because well forgotten land you know what i mean, but in general theyre actually pretty simple

i also did the drawing in digital

i tried doing very sketchy lineart, i tried a new brush in this one and thats the one im using for my last drawings (not sure if anyone noticed the brush change) it was pain painting it because i did it all with the brush in the same size, not changing it, god did my hands hurt and it was a bad idea

i accidentaly downloaded the following 3 drawings twice lol

sleepy zzzz

i think they would wear something like this to sleep, i dunno i just wanted to draw em in something cute, and sleepy, with elfilin slippers (the mug also has elfilin btw) oh and also i like changing their hair, here one of their long bangs is tied into a bow, kinda like callie from splatoon, i have some drawing im probably wont post, one more of forgo wich looks very much like the upper one but like eyes closed, and one of fecto elfilis gyaru because my sister asked me to draw them like that, bad thing is i didnt look up references on gyaru since i couldnt use my phone at the moment, i did like the hair i did for them in that one tho, they have their bangs tied up in a bun, and then left the rest loose, making it look longer than it actually is. i might redraw it, but actually looking up gyaru so i can make something more accurate, i like the style, but im not too informed on it

elfilin being silly like a kitty :p

not much more to say on this, just sillines :3

there is totally not a cropped drawing there

based on the kirby manga, where they make it so elfilis sings really bad, at first i didnt like it that much since i had imagined they'd sign great, but after i while i started to find it a bit cute so now its a headcanon, they like to sing but suck at it.

writing this just made me remember i wanted to do another drawing too for this with kirby and them singing, but i forgot to do it, im kinda tired (and its late) ill probably draw it, but for next post or another one

tried drawing fecto forgo as a plushie, silly.

i wanna learn how to sew so i can make plushies of characters (like prince fluf!) but im way too lazy, i will get around it some day! (hopefully)

elfilin too as a plush

i also wanna learn to sculpt, i tried doing a clay kirby once, but one his feet broke in half, and one day my mom put it in a box, and his eyes fell off and stuck to the box :(

i really wanna do figures for characters i like or dont have enough merch or my ocs (prince fluff, flamberge, fecto elfilis)

but as i said, im way too lazy and unmotivated, though its be nice, one day, maybe one day if i stop procrastinating

it doesnt have the same ring to it as "feto rata mojada alien" wich is how my sister and i call them (she doesnt know that much about kirby, but i sometimes show her my drawings (reluctantly sometimes, but im the older so like >:) she has too if she wants to show me her stuff too))

silly rat and wet rat, thats how i call em (because wet rat alien fetus is too long sometimes)

you can tell the brainrot was too strong (were near done(kinda))

they gain a mouth whenever i fell like it very much

artblock hit, and all the rest of pages i stared at them for 30 minutes

it felt weird looking at my fecto elfilis with the eyes so big, it looked off (in a weird way)

dunno, tried drawing them in a different pose i i dunno really

i think these are from tuesday. i did more but those were oc (mostly splatoon) or other kirby character related, and i want this to be a rat post (might post those tommorow or another day maybe)

i dunno (x2), i tried drawing elfilin like elfilis, i really liked the hands here. i still struggle a bit with anatomy but i think this was quite good for my usual character just stading looking at the front or a quarter profile. im considering making this into a fully digital drawing, what do i say by considering im actually doing that fuck it, i just think it looks kinda cool

"This new creation, driven by pure chaos, was defeated by the bright light of Kirby's hope."

Chaos Elfilis reminds me of a moth. kirby's hope is a bright light.

you can see my thought process. i just thought itd be a bit cute and kinda silly and funny.

the kirby fandom wiki, said that chaos elfilis looked akin to a moth, and it just stuck with me, so i wanted my gijinka of them to be moth inspired, and thats when i saw just how cute moths are! i mean im still a bit scared of insects but at least now i kinda like em.

i feel like i need to say sorry to that one moth i desintegrated in a matter of seconds with a book because i thought it was an spider and didnt think (im so sorry little guy)

but ah yeah elfilis, moth, it made sense to me since chaos elfilis has the soul of morpho knight, who is a butterfly, and moths are kinda like butterflies too. and i thought itd be cute

so uh yeah i sometimes like making my chaos elfilis be a bit like a moth, that includes liking light, a lot, so uh kirby is like a lamp in here because i said so

now to talk about the desing since for some reason i hadnt earlier, as i said before, they are very moth inpired so uh im might say that word way too many times (im sorry i suck at explaining stuff)

their horns are thinner to resemble moth anntenae, and they curve just because i thought it look cool, and to differentiate it a bit from fecto elfilis. their bangs tie into a bun (i forgot to draw that but i dont wanna go and change it now, way too tiredv man and i still have to post this on other places) the bun looks a bit like an eye, because well, they are basically a soul boss, and moths have things in their wings that look like eyes, btw chaos elfilis doesnt have their wings here because i got lazy and i didnt want them to like cover most of the drawing. the things coming from their bun are like the trhee things theyve got in their head, theyre shaped like that to resemble insects legs a bit, fecto elfilis also had the 3 things (i dunno how to call em sorry) as their eyelashes, but chaos elfilis has just white eyelashes, because the bun already has the 3 things and because my morpho has white eyelashes so (i still havent done my morpho gijinka yet, i just know im gonna give the butterfly some white eyelashes cuz cute and pretty grimm reaper) the rest of the hair is shaped into like a ponytail but like, adn shaped, with whats left shaped like a lil moth

the waistband they have is a nod to morpho, they used to have a bow shaped just like the butterfly morpho appears as, but i took it out because i thought it crowded the design way too much, and also because it was too on the nose. the arms have those golden things because my fecto has it and because my og chaos elfilis gijinka had them so i wanted to bring it back, the hand fades into white because the red in the hand wasnt hard to distinguish so i came up with that to make it easier to see.

the red part of the pants are actually a bit fuzzy akin to a moth and the white part has those stripes to loke like insect stuff because y'know akin to a moth. the boots are like the red part in their legs their model in-game has, so i just made em tall boots, the high heels? originally it was platform just ike my fecto but then i wanted to draw them in high heels when i was slightly redoing chaos elfilis, and welp, i loved it and now theyve got high heels. those rings around the ankle are inspired by the ones leaongar has around their arm. also can you tell anatomy is not my strong suit? and that i dont draw high heels often?

i made a slight change in my kirby, making the sleeves be a different color, since the one he had before i felt was way too white, and i wanted to have more saturation in it

i also forgot but elfilin is supposed to wear that during forgotten land, and then i decided that after the anding of the main story he changes clothes, but i forgot about that while doing this so he has his pre-ending clothes (also because i still cant really decide on their second outfit for the post-game)

god im so tired i wanna talk and show more drawings but o shit im sweating why is it so hot in here

um thank you for reading all the unnecessary long rambles about why i do certain stuff in my gijinkas, i appreciate it a lot (im still sorry about writing walls upon walls of text but i just cant help it)

Jambuhbye! :D

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imfinereallyy · 1 year

Text

The Long Con, pt. 2

Access pt. 1 here. I've also decided to start posting this on ao3 as well, which you can find here.

Las Vegas, Nevada

Steve had met Robin during one of the lowest parts of his life. After leaving Boston and everything he knew behind, Steve hopped from place to place for a few weeks. Working odd jobs just to get from one place to the next. Eventually, he landed himself in Vegas. It had felt far enough from home where he would avoid being found, but also less obvious than a place like LA.

Steve had a lot of vices in his past life, sex, money, and women, but gambling wasn't one of them. So if someone was following the trail of his bad habits, Vegas wouldn't even cross their mind.

Steve began working at a bar on the strip when he arrived. It was a fancy place, wasn't part of a casino, and stood out independently. The Bearpoppy Lounge. It was the type of place where everyone wore suits and Gucci belts. Wealth was not only flaunted but required. It reminded Steve of the places his parents used to take him to impress business partners.

Robin had been his trainer for the bar, and well, she had absolutely hated him at first. Steve hadn't been able to figure out why. He was incredibly charming, and women usually fell at his feet. Okay, maybe that was a bit of an exaggeration, but people usually drew to him. It had been a shock to the system when the first thing Robin had said to him was,

"I give you two days before you quit."

"What?" Steve asked in shock. Surely, she couldn't have been serious. "Do I not even get your name? Or, I don't know, a hello?" Steve thought he should reel in the snark. It wouldn't help his situation to let out his bitchy side. He just wasn't used to it. The lack of immediate trust he got from strangers. Most people would find that mentality naive, but Steve was raised to be enticing.

"My name is Robin, like it says on my name tag if you had bothered to read it. And I don't usually bother with introductions. I know the pretty boy type; trust me, it doesn't last." Robin wiped down glasses at the bar and didn't look up as she spoke.

Steve was resisting the urge to blow up on her. He couldn't prove her right. He had to lay on the charm thick.

Steve took in Robin's appearance before answering. She was pretty. Short dirty blonde hair cut to her chin with pink at the ends. Light freckles decorated Robin's face, which defined her already high cheekbones. She was tall, almost as tall as him, but she held herself awkwardly, like she didn't know what to do with her limbs. Robin would be easy to charm. Beautiful, so he wouldn't have to lie, and insecure so he could work her. "Well, if pretty girls like you can make it this far, I don't see why I can't." Steve leaned his body against the counter and appraised Robin up and down.

Robin snorted, "Oh god, you can't be serious. Please don't tell me the next thing you're gonna say is how you 'got lost in my beautiful blue orbs' like we were in some cheesy fanfiction."

Steve's mask fumbled a bit. "Orbs? What? Eyes can't be orbs. Then you'd have to see all the way around? Right? Wait—" Steve spiraled for a minute. Robin threw him off his rhythm.

Robin's face cracked slightly at Steve's confusion before she sighed deeply. "Look, I'm going to be, uh, straight, with you." Robin paused as she had a sort of inside joke with herself. "I don't like you."

Ouch. "Ouch."

Robin pushed on, "Look, it's not about you personally. It's about, ya know, what you represent. Like you came in here with no experience, no background, and just charmed your way into this job. Now I have to spend two weeks training you, only for you to stay a month tops. Guys, girls, and everything between, like you only come to work here for two things. Fortune and fame. They come to find a rich spouse or try to catch the eye of someone with a business card and a one-way ticket to Hollywood. And listen, it works. Most of you guys get what you want. Any other bar on the strip, I would tell you to quit while you're ahead. Big names come in here, though. And most of you get what you want. And if you don't? Well, you usually break and go back home to Mommy and Daddy. You all leave me high and dry and training another person. The worst offenders of all are the pretty boys. They come in here, lay on the charm, making assumptions about me, try to sleep with me, and when I don't give them what they want, they turn on me. So, sorry if I don't think we will get along."

Steve felt something inside him snap, "You know, for someone who hates people making assumptions about others, you really are assuming a lot about me." Robin looked taken aback by the bitchy attitude. Steve pressed on, "And I don't want that, Robin: fortune and fame. I mean, a little fortune would be nice, but who doesn't want that? And did you think that there was a reason I had to charm my way into this job? You said it yourself I have no experience! How will I ever gain that if I don't have the job to try it in the first place? And for your information Robin, there is no way I am running back to Mommy and Daddy. I think I'd rather take my chances with the streets, thank you very much."

Robin opened her mouth to speak, but Steve cut her off.

"Also, if you aren't into me, that's fine. I wouldn't make you uncomfortable for it. I'm not everyone's type; I can deal with that." Steve crossed his arms, emphasizing his point to her.

Robin swallowed, a bit of shame crept onto her face. "Sorry."

Steve sighed, "It's fine."

"No, it's not. I didn't give you the chance to fuck up first. I should at least give you that. And I get it, you know. Not going back to the parents."

The tension left Steve, "Yeah?"

"Yea, it's actually for the reason you're not my type. "

"Huh?"

Robin giggled but then looked hesitant. "I'm pretty sure the only kind of person you aren't the type for shares something in common with me. I'm a lesbian, dude. "

Steve took in the way Robin shrunk on herself even more and decided to share one tiny secret with her; even though he shouldn't be in the business of giving away his secrets. "It's okay. I'm safe. I'm not going to tell anyone. We share the same secret."

It was Robin's turn to say, "Yeah?"

Steve smiled at her, "Oh yeah. I, too, love the ladies, Robin."

Robin giggle-screeched. "Dingus!"

Steve warmed at the pet name. "But I also like the dudes. And everything in between."

Robin's smile softened, "Thanks for telling me."

Steve waved his hand in the air. "Yeah, yeah. Are you actually going to do your job and train me?"

"And just when I was starting to like you. Welcome to hell then; I'll be your guide." Despite her words, Robin's tone held an ease that wasn't there earlier.

Steve knew she'd be tough to crack, but he knew it would be worth it.

--------------

It was weird; it was Robin who gave him the idea. When they first met, he thought she would have been the judgemental type. Well, he wasn't far off from that, but she was surprisingly morally loose when it came to illegal activity.

"You know that man would have done anything to get in your pants, right?" Robin nodded toward the guy who just left the bar to go sit back with his buddies. He was in his late forties, and pretty fit for his age. He had introduced himself as Clark; which either the dude had the world's most bland name, or he was using Clark Clent as a pseudonym to cover the fact he was flirting with a man when Mr. Clark was clearly married (at least the shiny gold band said so). Steve hadn't been interested, though. For one, he wasn't looking to get attached to anyone (although Robin was starting to make that look difficult). Secondly, Steve had learned the hard way that being a queer person, no matter the day in age, wasn't always safe.

Especially with married men.

"And so what, Buckley? I don't think I have anything to gain from a married man looking to bang some random bartender, who, by the way, he doesn't even know likes other men?" Steve throws his towel over his shoulder and turns towards Robin.

"But you are into men." Robin deadpans.

"Okay, true, but not the point. Hey, wait, how does he even know I like men?"

Robin shrugs, "Same way that I did, like seeks like my hairy friend. However, I suppose we aren't exactly the same. Since I am only interested in the ladies. Oh wait—does that make us more alike since we both like women, and you liking men makes us less alike? But that's gay, so that makes us—"

"Robin, you didn't even know. I had to tell you. After you yelled at me."

"Sorry!" She cringed.

Steve sighed, "Besides, still nothing to gain from sleeping with him. Besides, the dude's name is Clark."

Robin snorted, "That's rich coming from you, James."

Steve was not lost on the irony that he and Clark were both using fake names.

"I'm not exactly sure you're getting to an actual point Robs."

Robin put her hands in front of her as if she was surrendering. "Okay, hear me out. The dude clearly has money and really wants to sleep with you. Heck, a lot of people come in who want to sleep with you. Men, women, everything in between, and everything outside of it. These people want you, Steve, which I don't understand, but they do. These very rich people want to sleep with you. And you, a very poor bartender who frankly is terrible at his job, could use that to his advantage."

Steve just stared at her.

"You do get what I am saying, right?"

"Yes Robin, I get what you're saying. You want me to prostitute myself to our customers."

"I believe the proper term is sex workers; you can be offended by not offensive."

"Robin." Steve whisper yelled.

"Oh, c'mon! It isn't the worst idea. You like money, and you like sex. I'm not really seeing a downside. I mean, it's your body, so you get to do what you want with it. But I wouldn't judge you if it was this. I mean you don't have to sleep with them even! Swindle them for their money; I know you're a charmer. You might not even have to go as far as sex. I mean, unless you want to. Again, your body, my dude."

"Why do you even want me to do this? Shouldn't you want me to stay on a legal path? Be the voice of reason? Isn't that what this whole nerdy good girl thing you got going for?" Steve returned to the bar while he spoke and started preparing a drink. Although he was protesting and acting offended by the idea, it wasn't actually a terrible proposition. Steve had done worse for less, and he had a lot of respect for those in the industry. It was just, he didn't get why Robin was pushing it. It was Steve's instinct to be mistrustful. People didn't offer things to him, especially very illegal ones, unless they wanted to gain something or get something against him.

"No, I don't want to be your pimp. Can't a girl offer some life advice to her helpless coworker? Besides, I'd be a hypocrite if I told you not to earn money illegally. Considering my side-gigs." Robin walked around the bar to stand directly in front of Steve. She placed her elbows on the wood and her head in her hands. She looked sincere, and that's when it hit Steve.

"First off, we are coming back to the side-gig thing—"

"We most definitely are not." Robin quipped.

"Second, I think I get it now. You're worried about me. We're friends, and you're worried about me."

"Take it back."

"No, no. You, Robin Buckley, care about me."

Robin shuttered, "We are not friends, James. And I am not worried. I simply became too invested in your pathetic life; my apologies." She started to lean back from the bar but Steve put the drink down and caught her by her elbows.

"If you admit we're friends, and that you're worried about me, I'll think about your idea." Steve gave her elbows a light squeeze.

Robin caved instantaneously, "Fine, you dingus! We're friends. I care about you! Despite my best efforts, your stupid face and jokes are incredibly endearing, and you always cheer me up on bad days. And every day here is a bad day. And I'm worried about you because you look like you're going to run every five seconds, and every time it's a shitty tip night, you deep sigh. And dammit, you're the only person I like here, and if you go at this point, so do I."

Steve felt himself blink back tears. Robin, in all her rambling glory, had managed to give him one of the best speeches he's ever heard. Steve hadn't had anyone care about him like this in, well, ever. It was a welcomed devastation.

Steve tugged her into a bone-crushing hug. Their stomachs pressed against the bar, the wood digging into their hips. "I'm gonna do it."

"Yea? You really don't have to. We can figure something else out. I would teach you how to hack, but I don't think you'd be very good at it." Robin let out a wet laugh.

Steve let her go and shrugged. "Nah, it's a good idea. And honestly sounds like a bit of fun. Swindling the wealthy into giving to the poor. Well, giving to me. But I count as poor currently."

Robin smiled, "Only if you're sure, dingus."

"I am. Now—" Steve pushed the drink with a bar business card that he wrote his name and number on underneath. "—go take this to money bags over there."

Robin grabs the card and throws it at him. "You can't give your real name and number, dummy. For now, I'm gonna give him my side gig number until you can get your own. All we need is a name." She grabbed a new card and wrote down the digits.

Steve took the pen from her and looked around the bar for inspiration. He jotted down the first thing that came to mind. "Here ya go."

Robin looked down and choked on a laugh. "You can't be serious."

"Deadly."

Robin rolled her eyes one last time before picking up the drink. "We will think of a better one later. But I guess for now; I'll deliver this to your first client, Cherry."

Steve knew then, and there he and Robin were for life.

________

Boston, Massachusetts

It was at this moment Steve was trying to picture how Robin would react to how majorly he fucked up. Considering she had already warned him about the dangers of Tommy Hagan's friendship, Steve didn't have to think too hard. Robin had always been good at that, calling him on his bullshit before it even happened. Steve could hear her voice in his head saying,

This is what happens when you play with fire Dingus.

Steve wondered if he'd ever get to hear her voice in person again.

"What kind of deal?" Steve asked before throwing himself to the wolves. Though he was sure his life was on the line, he couldn't just say yes to whatever Eddie asked. He didn't want to die, but he also had to consider that there were people he cared about in this world. Steve wouldn't put them at risk, even if it meant his own well-being.

In retrospect, he should have reevaluated the list of people he cared about, considering one was the reason he was here in the first place.

Eddie leaned back against the booth, stretched his arms across the back of it, and let out a dark chuckle. "Well, for starters, I'm going to need that bag back. That's the easy part. Considering it's mine anyway. Although, it does seem a bit light there. Why is that sweetness?"

Steve could feel himself go pale. God, Tommy had fucked fucked him. He was starting to consider that it was even a setup. He didn't peg Hagan for being that smart, though. "It's only half. Tommy took the other half with him when I met up with him. I'm so supposed to keep the other half safe for a few weeks, then bring it to him."

Eddie raised his eyebrows, "Pretty forthcoming, aren't we? Thought I'd have to push a bit more to break ya. Now I'm not sure if I even want to offer you the rest of the deal. Don't particularly like working with snitches."

Steve tried not to let out a frustrated growl. Charm, he had to charm Eddie. He was making it hard for Steve. "I'm not a snitch; I just don't see the point in covering for someone who obviously fucked me."

Eddie put his hands up in mock surrender, "Woah there, sweetness. Didn't mean to touch a nerve. I'm only having a bit of fun. You'll let me have my fun, won't you? Considering you made me stop my hard work in the middle of the day to deal with you?" Although Eddie smiled as he spoke, Steve could tell he wasn't happy. Steve decided to be smart and stay silent. "Now tell me, where and when did you meet him? And when and where were you meeting up again?"

Steve gritted his teeth, "What's the rest of the deal?"

"What's that?" Eddie ticked his head to the side.

"I'm not going to tell you anything else if I don't know what I'm getting out of it or what I need to do to get to the finish line. So, What's the rest of the deal?"

"You're a clever one, aren't you? I'm not surprised, actually, considering the sort of bravery it takes to steal from me." Steve noted in his head that Eddie said bravery and not stupidity. He tucked it away for later. "Fine, considering you've been forthcoming so far, I'll be kind and lay all the cards on the table. On one condition."

Steve gave up on being charming. He knew it was getting him nowhere. "Deal for a deal? Seems a bit convoluted, don't ya think?"

"Ooo, bitchy and knows big words? Full of surprises. I promise you this one is an easy one. Should you choose the right path, no harm will come your way Padalin. Well, none that you don't ask for, at least." A wicked grin spread across Eddie's face.

"Get to the point."

"You know I'd have a man's head at this point for that kind of talk. Fortunately bitchy looks good on you. Anyway, the condition is this. Tell me your name, sweetness. I think it's rude that I gave you my name and I don't have yours."

"Well I didn't ask for yours and like you said earlier, I don't think introductions were necessary."

Eddie gave Steve an unamused eyebrow; his patience was wearing thin.

Steve was buying time, he wasn't sure what name to give him. He wasn't stupid; he couldn't exactly give him his real name. He couldn't just tell him, Steve. For one, he was in Boston. A slip of the first name means a slip of the last. And besides coming back to Boston in the first place, that would be the absolute dumbest thing he'd ever do if he were to let that slip. Steve was well aware the Harrington name hadn't grown kinder over the years.

The other reason was if he were to give him his real name, Eddie would suddenly have access to his entire life in an instant. His story, his crimes, his weaknesses. Steve was sure that Eddie had his very own Robin, although he doubted they were any good since Steve had the best, but even a raccoon with access to Google could find him.

So Steve had to think. What name could he give him? He thought about the hundreds of alias he had over the years. Some of them are more thought out than others. Like Mark Odom, who was a sales rep just down on his luck at the horse tracks and just needed a bit of insider information for a win. He had a family to feed, after all.

Or there was the ones with less background, like Cherry, who didn't even have a last name. He was just a good disguise for Steve when he wanted to swindle money out of higher-profile men.

Those aliases, no matter the depths of their stories, were too used, too frequented, too recent. They had a history that could be traced. Steve thought of possibly starting a whole new alias for Eddie. But those took time. A quick lie in the moment was easy, but Steve had a deep feeling nothing about his interactions with Eddie would be quick.

Eddie looked at him expectantly, waiting. It had only been a few seconds since Steve had last spoke, but between the two of them, it felt like hours. It felt as though Steve was losing the game and fast.

An idea sprung on Steve suddenly. An old name he used once. It was a name thrust upon him more like, but he had only used it once. He was sure Eddie would catch onto it being fake, but Steve hoped that the man's affinity for nicknames let it slide.

"Angel. The name is Angel."

"Angel." Eddie deadpanned. "Angel, what? No last name?"

"No last name." Steve shook his head.

Eddie rubbed a hand down his face, "That's what you're going with? You really expect me to believe that?"

"It's all you're gonna get."

Eddie stared at Steve momentarily before a playful smile edged at his lips. "Alright, I'll bite. Angel, it is, for now. Just don't expect the truth to stay hidden for long. You see, I always get my way in the end. Okay, Angel?" Eddie's eyes penetrated Steve's, and silence again hung in the air.

"Okay." Steve believed Eddie. He secretly hoped he wouldn't be around the man long enough to see how quickly he got his way.

"Good. Now here's the deal Angel." Eddie emphasized Steve's name in mockery. "You give me the half you have under the table. That's been established so far. Then you are going to help me get the rest of the money back and get me a little chat with your good pal Hagan."

Steve opened his mouth to protest the idea of him and Tommy being good pals, but shut it before he could make the situation for himself worse. Probably better for himself to not push his luck.

"That's the easy part," Eddie continued. He leaned forward, taking his arms off the back of the shredded booth, and used his hand to grip Steve's chin. The grip was firm but not painful as he pulled Steve forward. It was as if he was trying to prove a point, trying to prove that Eddie was the one in control, prove that he didn't want to hurt Steve, just put him in his place. "The hard part of the deal is this. You see, it's not easy to steal from me. And yet, here you are. You've made it much further than others have. And that is a skill not many possess. And right now, I could use that."

Steve visibly swallowed. He was trying not to let this man get to him. It felt impossible with Eddie's hand on him and their proximity. It had been so long since Steve had been this close to someone, so intimately, without the illusion of the game. Sure, there was an imminent threat over Steve's head, but he couldn't shut off the part of his brain that kind of liked it. Steve had to push away the desire to breathe in all that was Eddie. Steve decided to blame these uncontrollable thoughts on the fact he hadn't gotten laid since Seattle over a month ago.

Not because he felt attracted to the man who was actively threatening him. That would be insane.

"How do you suppose I do that?" Steve licked his lips and didn't break eye contact with Eddie.

"I have a list. A list of people who have wronged me. Who has stolen from me, in one form or another? Usually, I'd have them taken care of, but I don't think they deserve such an easy out. I think I need to make a statement. I think they should be given exactly what they've taken. They bit the hand that fed them after all." Eddie squeezed Steve's chin lightly. It once again caused no pain, but it grounded Steve. Sent a silent reminder of who was in control.

"Big believer in karma, then? Wouldn't have taken you for the type." Steve pushed out a weak laugh. Eddie stared at him a moment before releasing him, sitting back into his original position.

Eddie's lip tilted slightly, "Maybe I am. Do we have a deal?"

Steve snorted, "That's it? You're not going to tell me more? No reason why, no, what do I need to do? Kind of feels like I'm getting the shit end of the stick here."

In the corner of his eye, Steve saw one of Eddie's men move when he raised his voice. It made Steve stop abruptly, shrinking back into his seat. Eddie waved his henchman to stand down. "No, you don't get more. And beggers can't be choosers, can they?"

" 'Suppose not."

"Good boy. Now, do we have a deal?" Eddie stuck his hand out for Steve to shake.

Steve had to suppress his reaction once again. Eddie had to be testing him at this point. Good boy would be seared into his brain forever. A brand of how dangerous this man was to him.!Steve looked down at the rough, veiny hands. "On one condition."

Eddie barked out a laugh, "You know you really like pushing your luck, Angel. It's like you have a deathwish. You aren't exactly in the position to make demands, hasn't that been clear? You're lucky you are so goddamn interesting. So, once again, I'll bite."

"I get to veto someone, no questions asked, if I don't want to do it." Steve thought about how many enemies he had here in Boston. How many people he had no desire to run into? He needed to make sure most, if not all of them, never crossed paths with him again. Steve knew it was a long shot to ask of this. It defeated the whole purpose of helping Eddie if he was allowed to say no. They both knew this. And yet, Steve held out hope.

Eddie hummed to himself for a moment before answering. "You get one."

Steve whipped his head towards Eddie in shock. "What?"

"I'll give you one veto. No questions asked. But that's it. Once you use it, it's gone."

Steve knew when to not look a gift horse in the mouth. "Okay, deal." Steve stuck his hand out for Eddie to grab. Steve tried not to shutter when Eddie's warm hand engulfed his own. The smoothness of his rings and the callouses on his palms contradicted each other and send a delicious thrill down Steve's spine.

Yeah, Steve was fucked.

"Deal, Angel." Eddie slid out of the booth, and his men made to follow him. "Now, if I am correct, you're currently staying at the rundown motel on 3rd? Well, Ben here—" Eddie gestured to the eager henchman from earlier "—will follow you to the motel to collect your things. Then he's going to take you to the room I paid for you at the Palace Hotel. Where he, and a rotation of other people, will be standing guard outside your door 24/7."

"What? Don't trust me?" Steve tried to lighten the apparent tension.

"Oh, not in the slightest, Angel. Trust you just about as much as I can throw you." Eddie slid dark sunglasses on before walking up to the door. "Looking forward to chatting again. I think this will be a good thing for us both, sweetheart."

Eddie walked out without looking back, taking most of his men with him. Ben stayed behind, glaring daggers at Steve's head.

Steve couldn't help but feel a shift in the tide; he would be returning to this moment for the rest of his life. He knew there was no coming back from this, and even if there was, Robin would kill him anyway.

Steve looked down at his milkshake, it was fucking melted.

***

has it been a month since I posted the first part? Yes. Yes it has. Please don't murder me. It has been hectic, I got a new job which means I work two now and I got sick. I finally had some time to start working on this. I also wanted to actually plan this out, make an outline, since yes you guessed it…

it’s going to be a long fic.

As you can tell these parts are really long, so I’m thinking about just posting on ao3, and maybe putting previews on here. Unless you guys want it also fully here. Let me know! :)

I’m so excited for this thank you all for your patience. You can access part one here and ao3 here.

also if I tagged you and you didn’t want to be tagged let me know! some reblogs seemed interested in a part 2 but didn’t mention it specifically but I tried to tag you if I could!

tag list:

@zaphodkilledthespeedforce @a-new-kind-of-blue @hexdbog @krayzee11 @heaven428 @ppunkpuppyy @stxcrossed186 @grtwdsmwhr @pheonixashtree @plasticcrotches @sillysparrow @enterprizing @vi-an-te @minimal23 @romances-sans-paroles @whalesharksart @gregre369 @lollydo@imagayfuck @stevesworldxx @renaissan-vvitch @aroseandherthorns @impeachy @aellafreya @smailaway @cmackz93 @lawrence-b-shaggoth @cata-t0n1c @kylizzles @exo-l4life @shucks-yuckyuck @swaghettoni @goosesister @chaotiovingdreamer @inmoonywetrust @tis-the-smallest-fry @croatoan-like-its-hot @escapingthereality @absurdityaddiction @kit-means-death @anzelsilverr @aziazure @alienthings @obsessivereaderchick @lets-try-to-be-normal-otakus @toobusytobebored @samgelina-jolie

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mcytblr-archive · 2 months

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Early MCYTblr Interviews: Anonymous

our interviewee today is the anonymous author of the "SBI Crit Post". he's asked to both remain anonymous and not to be sought out; he's been incredibly helpful and polite through this entire interview process, and i would ask you all to leave any residual feelings you may have from that time at the door. If you think you remember who posted it, please keep it to yourself. that said, let's begin!

Q: Before we begin talking about the ‘Crit Post’, I’d love to hear what your experience of MCYTblr was like before it was posted. Do you have any standout memories from this time?

A: Not particularly. There's some things that I guess looking back on nowadays is kind of wild, like how in the groups I was running in, shipping of any kind that wasn't DNF was super frowned upon (as in, I trigger tagged for IRL shipping)…but truthing wasn't really? Or, how back then the lines between 'critblr' and main mcytblr were super fuzzy. I hung out with both groups before the Crit Post to no issue. Oh!!! And this is a wonderful piece of MCYTblr lore that you may not know, but when I posted the Crit Post, I was apart of a MCYT art exchange themed after MCC called MC Creatives. I think it only happened once, and I can't exactly remember who ran it. They were a really nice DNF (? or just DTeam) blogger. I think it's cool to see that even back then the community was pretty tight knit and had overarching community activities like we see today. It's interesting to me that our fandom has missed out on some of the more important parts to being a fandom… not many big bangs, only one or two that I know of. It's very sad, but we are a weird fandom in general, and definitely a Modern Fandom, if you understand what I mean by that LOL. There is one memory that does stick out, completely irrelevant to this interview though. The fake Dreambur meetup. I pulled an all nighter for it. I was shaking. I drew fanart (though never posted it). Everyone was hysterical. And then it was faked and everyone went WHAT.

Q: As you let me know in your dms, you were the user who made the original “SBI Crit Post”. Would you mind giving a quick rundown of what it was exactly, for anyone who may not know?

A: I would, but frankly I barely remember anything about it. It was like… I saw someone being like "weird that we aren't as critical of SBI as we are of DT" and I thought, "Well, I can probably try?" and made shit up. It was nonsense. I can't even remember what I said about Philza. The points against the others were "Tommy is too young to be in this business" "Wilbur queerbaits" and… "Technoblade needs to be less honest about his ADHD he's glorifying it" or something like that. Again, it was nonsense at its best.

Q: What was your reasoning at the time for making the post? Did the overall culture around you play a part in it?

A: Here's the part no one knows: At the time of posting, I was 13 by maybe… one, two, or three weeks. And I'd spent almost the entirety of my time as a 12 year old in a community that was like "we need to be Critical of our Favorite Creators because this is Righteous and the Only Good Way To Engage With MCYT" and I was like "Everyone here is older than me and therefore endlessly smarter than me," and therefore just accepted it. You can see it very clearly in the part that was "critical" of Wilbur Soot. He was queerbaiting for what? Acting like he wanted to kiss men? Dressing nice? Ridiculous! But if we called Dream a queerbaiter (and never GNF, because everyone was convinced he was gay), then I thought surely Wilbur Soot could also be a queerbaiter! This made total sense to baby 13 year old me. It's not fair to really call that indoctrination: it's not like I was falling down an alt-right pipeline or anything. I was just a stupid kid with too much internet access who liked minecraft and knew nothing about like Dan & Phil or Septiplier (kind of thing that would make me suspicious of this activity--especially truthing). I thought I was fufilling some honor by saying "and yes, my favorite minecraft boys aren't without fault either!" The people that stayed friends with me after that… some of them were my closest normal non-Critblr friends, who refused to abandon me (shout out to you guys you know who you are), and the rest were the people in Critblr who were… okay with my behavior.

Q: I understand that the backlash to the post was very intense– what was it like from your perspective? Did it have any affect on you?

A: Lots. Lots and lots and lots. I lost a bunch of my close friends who weren't okay with what I'd said or how I'd doubled down, and it really messed with me as a kid in the middle of quarantine. There were times where I genuinely considered hurting myself irreperably as either a way to "apologize for what I had done" or just a way to stop worrying that everyone I knew was going to block me one day. Those feelings lasted for a long time, I still struggle with them to this day, over three years later (? I think). And I was kind of lead to believe that was an okay response. I recieved asks the night that it all went down where I was told I should hurt myself. Of course my own behavior wasn't cool, but neither was that. I know there was a post out there by a popular (at the time?) Technoblade blogger that detailed the faults in that post, but I never read it. All I knew about it was that people saw it, and harassed me because they saw it, and that the OP of that post hated me. It got to the point that seeing that blogger's URL caused me to have panic attacks, a ridiculous thing because that blogger as far as I know never actually did anything wrong. I don't know. Every once in awhile, someone in the server I'm in (hi some of you are definitely reading this :3 i love you guys) will bring up the post in passing and I'll have to mute the channel for 24 hours because I'm scared. Or even when we're discussing normal drama, if something feels too close to the Crit Post, or like it might come up, I'll get shaky and nauseous and have to mute the channel for 24 hours. It's weird, the shit being told to kill yourself because you did something dumb as a 13 year old can do to you.

Q: As a follow-up: What, if anything, do you wish had happened instead?

A: I don't know really. I guess the obvious answer is "I didn't make the post" or "I didn't double down", but I think the real answer has to be that I wish the community I was in hadn't taught me that what I was doing was an okay move.

Q: Do you have anything else to add about the Crit Post, MCYTblr, or the community as a whole?

A: Not really. I "retired" from MCYTBlr in I think 2022, but kept a passing interest in it for a long time, and I'm still active in a discord (hi again) comprised entirely of fans and retired fans. I loved MCYT, and in some ways, I still do. When I'm sad, I put on old Technoblade videos. When I'm really sad, I put on old Purpled videos. These things are my comforts, things that I haven't ever been able to give up. And that's good! Even if I don't talk about MCYT anymore, I'm glad it's there for me.

#Early MCYTblr Interviews #Volume 4 #Anonymous #SBI Crit Post

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pandxrastars · 1 year

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Love conquers all Maybe a 3rd part? Parents finding out or reader gets pregnant or something along those lines?

Like maybe reader gets “sick” and is taken to the healer and finds out she’s pregnant and everything gets revealed then?

Just a idea

love conquers all (part 3)

A/N: sorry it took me literally so long to post this school is so time consuming LOL. not proofread so i apologize for grammatical errors! part I and part II are posted!!

you open your eyes, blinking away the heavy sensation in your eyelids as you let out a quiet yawn. Behind you, you feel your mates chest pressed against your back, his arm indolently slung over your waist. his breath lightly kissed the hairs on the back of your neck. The sun luminated through the curtains and accentuated his blue-ish features.

You were about to drift back to sleep when you felt a wave of nausea overcome you, but your tried your best to ignore it thinking it was just something you had eaten, so you fell asleep.

Your mate awoke with a stretch and a yawn. he looked over to you and was surprised when he saw your pale blue complexion, and that you were sleeping in which isn’t normal behavior from you. He crawled over you and kneeled on your side of the bed to take a closer look, you looked extremely sick.

“my love?”

You slowly were pulled out of your sleep and gently opened your eyelids, which were 10x heavier than earlier. You sat up and turned your head towards Neteyam. a wave of worry washed over him when he got a better look at your eyes and saw how dialated your pupils were. and how dark your eyebags were.

“teyam, i really do not feel well, i feel strange” you said, voice trembling

“okay ma’yawne, come with me it will be okay” he said as he picked you up bridal style, cradling the side of your head with his hand. He quickly made his way on the path to the tsa’hiks marui pod. as he ran with you in his arms you lazily had your head in his neck, your eyesight was blurry and your were getting dizzier by the second, falling in and out of sleep almost. Once he made it to the tsa’hik he laid you down on a seaweed woven mat and waited for the tsa’hik to return.

“do not worry my love she will be here soon, you will be okay just hang in there” he cradled your head with both of his veiny hands and slightly shook your head a bit in an attempt to snap you out of your disassociative state.

“what is the matter here” Ronal said as she moved the seaweed grass door covering to the side

“please help, i dont know what is wrong, she is very sick!” he said panicking

“mawey” Ronal said in a monotone voice as she moved him aside to grab her needle that was behind him. she grabbed her needle and turned around to kneel beside your limp body. with a swift flick of her wrist she poked and drew blood from your neck and licked it. she sat there, quietly, getting a thorough taste of your blood to analyze the problem.

“you are with child” she said, in a monotone voice as usual.

‘wh-...what” Your mate said quietly as he stared at the floor in utter shock.

“she is bearing a child. i assume yours” she said in a thick accent.

althought you were so sick and limp, you managed to sit up, adrenalin rushing through you. excitement. you turned your head and looked up to your mate, searching his eyes for a reaction, any emotion really.

“teyam.” you said sternly, almost demanding him to say something

he quickly kneeled and wrapped his arms around you, squeezing you tightly.

“i am so happy. You are having my child. our child.” he released you from his grasp and rested a hand gently on your stomach, imagining how big it would grow after a few more weeks.

“oh teyam” you said, wiping the tears that crept from the corners of your yellow eyes.

“so, what will we name him?”

“him?!”

#neteyam x reader #neteyam Fanfiction #neteyam sully #neteyam #avatar imagine #avatar the way of water #avatar #avatar fanfiction #avatar x reader

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go-river-flows · 1 year

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Sweet Visions of a flower

Summary: Syulang (OC), an orphaned girl after the destruction of Hometree. She is constanly reminded of this by her amputated left leg and constantly dreams of her deep trauma. Even when she gets adopted by Toruk Makto and his wife, who she resented for over six years before forgiving him.

A/N: We are almost at the end now (I hope). And I'll post a one-shot before uploading The Humans of Awa'atlu or another series that just starting. Also just a heads up; I'll be taking a break from the 4th to the 11th of May, I will continue to upload even when I'm not writing using the automatic uploads system, hopefully, it works because I'm not using the internet for a whole week. Finger's cross until then. But for now, here's part 8!

Part 8 of 10

Neytiri put her hand on her oldest daughter's shoulder and arm, trying her hardest to calm her. In her attempt Neytiri started singing, her voice slightly quivered as she raised her voice over her daughters crying, she leant closer to her ear singing to distract Syulang. She brushed the hair of her daughter away from her face and planted a soft kiss on her forehead, Syulang calmed down enough that Neytiri softened her voice down, repeating the lyrics to the song.

Jake entered with his children in tow. Arriving next to Syulang, hushing her down and rubbing her left leg to try to ease the pain. When Mo’at finally entered the tent a while later, she found the whole family there next to Syulang. Jake quietly left Syulang’s side to talk to Mo’at.

“It was like I entered her dream,” he was still in disbelief of what happened, “I saw Eytukan, and Tsu’tey. They said that they feared her soul would not reach Eywa if or when she dies.”

“This is truly concerning. We'll have to go to the Tree of Souls, I’ll be able to enter her dream there. I believe I could help her,” Mo’at rubbed her chin as she thought, “This is decided, I will enter her dream tonight. But in the meantime, I suggest you go on about your duties as Olo’eyktan.”

“Yes, Tsahik. And thank you,” Jake took one last look at Syulang. Taking off to deal with Quaritch and his group of Dreamwalkers.

Taking arms again, he called for a few of his warriors and Tarsem, his Olo’eyktan in training. Taking flight on their ikrans, they flew to another smaller floating island, hoping the RDA hadn't found them yet.

Landing in the trees. Jake and the group jumped down onto the floating rock. The recombiants all bound to different trees. Jake made his way to Quaritch, squatting down to look into his eyes.

“So you finally decided to show up,” Quaritch sneered.

“Your lucky I didn't leave you here to just starve,” Jake stoically said.

“Why wouldn't you? You already betrayed your own race, I bet you’d do it again,” the colonel's southern twang drawled. Jake scoffed at that. “Now why don't you answer my question? How did’ya know we were gonna be here?” Quaritch repeated, for the fourteenth time.

“Let's just say Eywa gave me a sign,” Jake shrugged, “Now tell me, who sent you here?” Quaritch snickered.

“Remember Ardmore?”

“Heard of her, never met her.”

“Oh yeah, she’s back. Wants you dead, same as me. Same as everyone here,” Quaritch leant a little bit to look at his team, who were staring daggers at Jake.

“Is that why you're here…in this body? To kill me?”

“Oh…It's not just you Jake. You're mate too…Let's just say, we wanna end your bloodline, that means your kids too.” Quaritch sneered, Jake stiffened. His eyes burning with a rage he had never felt before.

“Well, thanks for the heads up,” Jake nodded to Tarsem and the other warriors who drew their knives at the recoms, poking the tip of it at the recoms neck.

“You dare–” Quaritch began to say.

“Or what? No one is coming for you. Where’s Ardmore huh? She’s not here, and I'll more than happily send you and your soldiers back in body bags. Especially after you threatened me!” Jake yelled at Quaritch to which he snarled, “So do you all want a quick or slow death? Take your pick.” Jake pointed his assault rifle at Quaritch’s head, ready to pop some bullets into his head.

Everyone was bug-eyed and silent, Quaritch knew he was fucked. He had no more options, only death. But there was a third option that the adults didn't see, they were too bloodthirsty. That third option came in the form of Syulang flying onto the island.

“Father!” Syulang shouted, sliding off her ikran running into the fray, “Stop! It doesn't have to end this way! Please, listen to me before you make a mistake.”

“Syulang! You should not be here!” Jake stood, yelled at his daughter.

“Please, just listen to me. There's another way, please,” Syulang stepped between Jake and Quaritch.

“No! There isn't! This guy! This guy…!” Jake pointed at Quaritch, “He wants us dead, he wants your mother, your siblings dead!”

“Please, There’s another way,” She begged, “There is another way. Another way that doesn't end with death,” she said in English this time. Jake panted, his heavy breath fogged a little from the altitude. He sighed deeply, exhaling through his nose.

A small movement from above caught his eye, looking up he saw an atokirina’. A seed of the great tree floating down onto Quaritch’s head. Syulang gasped with wide eyes a little, her hand covering her mouth in disbelief, catching Jake’s attention, he turned to see the same scene happening to the other recoms. An atokirina’ gently landing on their heads, his warriors’, Tarsem looking around to all the recoms with the seed of the great tree upon their heads. Finally they floated off at the same time. Tarsem and the warriors removed their knives from the recom’s neck, taking a step back awaiting further instructions.

“Eywa has spoken,” Syulang turned to Quaritch, “If you want to live. You must turn your back on those who control you. You are no longer human, you have been given a second chance at life. And in order to do that, you must become Na’vi.”

“You’re asking me to betray humanity?” Quaritch looked up at the girl, his eyebrow raised in questioning.

“You are no longer Human. We Na’vi have a saying; ‘Fwäkì ke fwefwi’. It means: Mantis doesn’t whistle; don’t expect someone to do something that isn’t in their inherent nature…Or something like that,” Syulang explained.

“The hell does that mean?”

“You are Na’vi, it is your nature. Everything you knew no longer matters. The blood that runs in your veins is Na’vi. Your body, Na’vi,” Syulang crouched to Quaritch’s form, “But, your heart,” she pointed to his chest, “Your mind,” she pointed to his head, “Your memories remain human. Everything that happened in the past, is the past.” She looked down to her amputated leg before continuing, “You can choose to let your past consume you, or give you a reason to change your heart.” She turned to look at Jake. Her father. “That day when Hometree fell, you took more than just my leg. You killed my family. And I blamed Jake, I blamed you. But in time I forgave him, he gave me a reason to keep living. Even every day when I'm in pain, I still…keep…going.”

The look in Quaritch’s eyes changed, almost sympathetic. So did Jake’s.

“It was Eywa’s plan. It has always been her plan,” Syulang finished, standing up from her crouched position. Jake moved closer to Syulang wrapping his arm around her shoulders, giving a comforting rub. A silence fell upon the crowd. Quaritch was thinking, weighing his options. He fucking hates Ardmore, has had enough of taking orders. Heck, he just wants a simple life, he wants to stop fighting too. He was just following orders, and now he’s been given that exact opportunity that he so desperately craved. He knows the recoms would follow him, they trust him after all but he’ll still ask them.

“I'm done fighting. What do you guys think?” Quaritch asked out loud, enough for the other recoms to hear. They didn't say anything at first, probably considering following Quaritch.

“Me too,” it was Lyle, “I didn't want to be reborn like this, following orders again when I should've stayed dead.” A few chorused his statement, agreeing with him.

A flurry of “I'm done fighting too” and “me too” responses or something to the same tune from the other recoms. Falling silent again. Jake was speechless, and Syulang smiled.

“The RDA will come back. They'll come looking,” Jake reminded them, “There’ll be more bloodshed.”

“I know. Like I've never seen it before,” Quaritch scoffed. He sighed, taking a moment before saying words Jake would've never heard in a billion years come from Quaritch, “I'm sorry. You’re right. I'm sorry for threatening you too…and your family.”

“I still don't trust you though,” Jake stated.

“Yeah, I know.” Then came something from Jake that Quaritch never expected, “Cut them loose. Cut their restraints. You'll stay here. We’ll bring you food, water and new clothes, but no weapons…not yet, anyways. Until we figure out what to do with the RDA, we’ll come to you with our plans.”

***

Returning to High Camp, Jake couldn't help but look at his oldest daughter. He thought he could see Tommy in her, though she wasn't related by blood, but it was as if she had Tommy’s spirit. He also saw himself in her, her words still resounding in his brain. ‘You can choose to let your past consume you or give you a reason to change your heart.’ Even her physicality, it reminded him of his human form. How fragile it was, how he destroyed himself further by using alcohol to deal with his problems, but also how he was given a second chance to live through Tommy’s avatar.

Neytiri was waiting at the entrance of High Camp, full of nervous energy and agitation. Syulang took off when no one was watching and Neytiri and the rest of the children searched the whole of High Camp looking for her, climbing all the high spots to get a better view of the whole camp. So to see her return on her ikran with Jake and the warriors Neytiri was overjoyed that she was safe. Enveloping her in a crushing embrace.

“Urgh, Mom! You’re crushing me,” Syulang croaked out, Neytiri fussed whilst looking over every inch of her oldest daughter making sure there was not a single scratch. It looked like Neytiri was about to explode when Jake pried his wife off Syulang.

“Ma Neytiri, she’s fine,” Jake hushed his wife, taking a step away before looking at Syulang, “How did you know where to find us? We never told anyone.”

Syulang averted her eyes, “I…Uh. I had another vision?”

“Damn. You're gonna become the next Tsahik at this rate,” Jake chuckled, though he was still a bit angry that she left the healing tent and High Camp. “How did ya know what to say to Quaritch? Was that also in the vision?”

Syulang just nodded, looking down at her feet. A smirk grew on Jake's face.

<–Previous Chapter | Next Chapter –>

Taglist:

@sleepilysworld @drinking-tea-and-be-obsessed @wolfmoon8269 @howlerwolfmax @lovekeeho @ducks118 @dyingofcookies @secretflowerobservation

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luckyyluka · 5 months

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Darling

joshua bassett x gn!reader

Summary: reader is at their limit, but joshua knows them too well, and he wont let them drown. (hurt/comfort fic)

Notes: no use of pronouns, no use of y/n, no description of reader

Credits: dividers by @cafekitsune

Trigger Warnings: no specific mental illness is mentioned but in a general sense, SEVERE depression is heavily implied. Detailed depictions of depression, self harm, suicidal thoughts, almost attempted suicide using pills (all from reader).

This fic has a fairly detailed moment where reader is cutting themselves. I wrote this originally only for myself as a form of comfort. Please THINK before you decide to read this. The most important thing here is for you to stay safe. The sole purpose of me posting this fic is for readers who are similar to myself that might find comfort in this, but not everybody will get the same thing out of this fic, so please please please do NOT read if this will trigger you in any way. be safe, lovelies.

i wanna get lovesick, i wanna get lovesick with you

the sickly-sweet song sliced through the deafening quiet, nothing else but your small sobs and sniffles.

that was your phone, your ringtone set as lovesick by peace. you looked down at the screen, barely making out the contact name through your tear-filled eyes. joshua.

the song was starting to get annoying, considering this was the fifth call in the past three minutes. you rejected the call once again before turning your phone off completely.

now that you could focus, you looked down on the ground in front of you where you sat criss-cross. you were home alone, and after a week of agonizing pain, your depression made you feel as if you were drowning and you couldn't breathe.

you couldn't take it anymore. every moment that passed by poured more salt into the wounds of the past, and sometimes, it even created new ones, fresh wounds.

the blood trickled down your skin as you decided to make some new wounds. battle scars, as some might say. only this time, this wasn't a battle you planned on winning.

when crimson had gently stained your arm just enough to satisfy you, your shaking hands set down the blade as you finally let out a breath you didn't even realize you were holding in.

your eyes were sure to be a bit red and puffy as you had already been crying in your bed. you wanted to write a note beforehand but you barely even found the energy to end up on the bathroom floor you sat on.

as tears fell down your cheeks, sobs threatening to escape your trembling lips, you grabbed the bottle of prescription pills next to you.

before you could think to proceed with whatever you had planned, there was a quiet knock at the bathroom door. nobody was meant to be home. joshua must have come home early.

you were home alone, still living with your parents who were currently out of state. joshua took a trip to stay with you for a few days, being your best friend and all, but he was out to run errands. keyword: was.

"hey, it's joshua," his voice was small, gentle. it shouldn't have brought you much peace, you knew he'd do everything he could to stop you, and probably even get angry with you. after all, you did worry him. who wouldn't be mad at you for that? "please let me in..." but nevertheless, that small voice made you choke out sobs even harder than before.

barely audible, you tried to speak, "go away..."

in hindsight, that may have been dumb. what was he gonna do? actually go away?

"please let me in, okay? that's all i ask." his quiet pleas from the other side of the door drew your hand up to the handle, slowly and shakily turning it to open the door.

he looked at you for a moment. your hair was a mess, you had bags under your eyes, you haven't changed in days, you hadn't showed in weeks, and you were sure that it was probably time for a tooth brush. you felt disgusting. you were disgusting. it didn't take a genius to know he was probably judging you. who wouldn't?

"oh, honey," he knelt down next to you as your sobs got harder and you stared at him through tear-stained, lidded eyes.

immediately, he pulled you into a hug as you cried, face buried in his chest. "i'm sorry," you kept repeating over and over. his hands ran through your hair as he shushed you, reassuring you and trying to help you calm down just enough for him to give you a bit of first aid.

after a few moments of his tight embrace, you finally settled down enough to breathe. he took the bottle of pills that had toppled to the floor amidst the commotion. "did you take anything?" he questioned quietly.

you shook your head no.

"promise me?"

you nodded.

he looked at you with gentle eyes and an empathetic smile. tears welling up with both worry, but also relief that you were still alive.

he took your hand, guiding you as he stood up and helped you stand as well. he rummaged around the drawers in the bathroom until he finally found the gauze and a cotton pad to cover your wounds.

he smiled at you comfortingly as his tears threatened to fall. he guided your arm underneath the faucet as he turned on a cool stream of water. he grabbed a wash cloth, slowly and carefully cleaning your wounds and blood-stained skin.

once you were all cleaned up, he dried your arm off as gently as possible, taking great care to not hurt you as he patched you up.

he got some anti-biotic ointment, gently massaging it over your cuts before placing the little cotton pad over them.

now that your wounds were safe, he grabbed the roll of gauze and wrapped your wrist up tightly, but not too tight. it was just tight enough. you were all patched up.

"now," his voice was soft, "lets get you a shower, can you do that for me? i'll help you wash your hair."

he helped you down off the counter. you stood close to him, head held down as you almost cowered. but you nodded, nevertheless.

joshua turned around to give you some amount of privacy while you got undressed. he used that time to turn on the shower, making sure the water was just the right temperature for you. he took some saran wrap to protect your wrapped up arm, covering it lightly as the water heated up. he then took off his clothes, and helped you step into the shower as he followed.

it was intimate, being so exposed with him, but it wasn't anywhere near sexual. not for him, not for you. it was innocent, pure, tender.

joshua wrapped his arms around your waist from behind as you stood directly underneath the water. he peppered light kisses along your shoulder to prove to you that he was there. you closed your eyes, feeling every drop of water cover your skin.

joshua took the detachable shower head and ran it over your hair, soaking it. he took some of your shampoo and began to massage it into your hair gently. his fingertips worked to help soothe you.

finally, he rinsed the shampoo and repeated the steps for your conditioner. your hair was clean, thanks to joshua.

"there you go. i'm really proud of you for letting me help you," he said genuinely. this made you feel a little safer. you did it! you accomplished something, even though it may have seemed like such a small task. it wasn't small to you, but you did it. and joshua was proud of you.

he made sure that you knew you were safe, that he knew you were safe before he stepped out to let you wash your body. you even used soap! still, the little tasks were tough, but again, you did it.

your stomach jumped thinking that maybe joshua would be proud of you for this, too. you let yourself think more. your mind wandered to dark things, the sad parts of your brain, but you somehow you still managed to think about joshua. your best friend, your literal life saver. you realized there wasn't a single other person you'd rather be with you right now.

as you finally finished up your shower, you felt a little better. feeling less icky helped ease some of your insecurities at the moment. you stepped out, and joshua greeted you with a warm towel. he wrapped it around you and held you for a moment, despite the fact that it dampened his own shirt a little bit.

you pulled on an old t-shirt that joshua had given you. he said he wanted it to feel like a forever hug from him once it was time for him to go back home. you weren't really supposed to wear it yet, but he gave the gift to you early so maybe you'd feel a bit safer with it on.

you threw on some boxer shorts and some fuzzy socks before letting joshua fix your toothbrush. as you brushed your teeth, he encouraged you, comforted you as he ran his hand over your back and stayed only inches away from you.

finally leaving the bathroom with joshua, you headed over to the couch in your living room. he watched as you sat down and he smiled wide at you.

"what?" you asked him as he stared at you.

"i'm just so proud of you," he hopped over the couch to meet you, pulling you into a tight hug. he gave you a quick kiss on your cheek before he pulled away.

you giggled quietly. it wasn't much but it was something. the most hint of your sunshine that he'd seen in days. and it made his heart flutter with joy.

"wait, i need to throw some dirty clothes into the bin," you said as quickly as you remembered.

he followed you to your room so you could throw some old clothes into the dirty-clothes bin, but you were met with a fully cleaned room.

you thought back, knowing the last time you left your room just this morning, it was filthy. the floor was covered with dirty clothes, water bottles scattered around the room and trash from the few snacks that you could tolerate eating over the past few days.

joshua had cleaned your room while you were bathing.

"joshua, you didn't have to do that," your face blushed with embarrassment, and maybe you were a little flustered, too. after all, you had someone in your life who loved and cared about you so much that they'd clean your room for you after helping wash your hair. he tended to your wounds, and leant you his old t-shirt to help you feel safer. he dropped everything he was doing just to drive home and check on you. why? all because you sent a mildly cryptic, "i love you" text and missed a few calls.

he loved you.

like really loved you.

so he pulled you into another hug, resting his head on your shoulder as you nuzzled your face into the crook of his neck. he held you tight, so tight you thought he'd never be able to pry himself off of you, even if he tried.

when he finally broke away, he gently grabbed your hand and guided you to your bed. "let's get some rest, it's kind of late," he suggested.

you nodded. "mmkay," you obliged without hesitation. you admit, you were a little sleepy.

you climbed into bed and got comfy under the covers.

joshua didn't join you.

he studied you, your damp hair crowding around your face, wearing his shirt, yawning and snuggling into the pillows.

you were beautiful. to him, nothing could change that. not even when you go too long without showering or brushing your teeth. not even when your room gets a little too messy. not even if you tried to get him to change his mind. you were the most beautiful girl in the world.

"have you eaten today?" he finally spoke up.

you hesitated to answer.

"be honest," he pleaded.

you shook your head, finally admitting that you hadn't eaten anything.

"stay here, i'm going to go get you a snack," he smiled, leaving the bedroom door open so you could still hear him. you'd never feel alone with him near.

he walked through your door again, bringing a small bowl of grapes and other various fruits along with a glass of water.

"can you try and eat some of this for me? and drink some water?" he asked you softly.

you hesitated, but nodded finally. you sat up in the bed, taking the bowl. you waited to begin eating as joshua climbed into the bed next to you.

he turned on the tv, playing your favorite show for you to watch while you ate.

"i'm proud of you," joshua said for the third time tonight. it made your heart beat a little louder.

"thank you," you finally responded.

it was silent for a moment as he sat next to you, his hand resting on your thigh as you watched the tv and ate the fruit from the bowl. his thumb calmly stroked where his hand rested.

you finished eating, surprising even yourself as you cleared out the whole bowl.

he took the bowl from you, leaving a kiss on your cheek as he put the bowl down on the side table next to your bed.

"i love you," you blurted out without thinking.

you hadn't said the l word yet. neither of you. this was new territory, and looking back, maybe not a great time to confess such a thing.

but instead of giving any sort of cryptic response, any hesitation, any indication that he might not feel the same way...

he responded immediately.

he gave you a kiss, his lips meeting yours only for a moment before he pulled away and looked you in the eyes with the most golden retriever-esque smile on his face. he pulled you closer, into a cuddle.

and he finally spoke up.

"i love you with all my heart. goodnight, my darling."

#TRIGGER WARNINGS:#TW: self harm #TW: suicide #joshua bassett #joshua bassett x reader #joshua bassett x gn!reader #gn!reader #hurt/comfort #joshua bassett hurt/comfort

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