One more idea before bed!
During the clone wars, the jedi recognize the clones as sentient and that they are slaves soldiers. Circumstances make it hard for them to rectify the situation, especially when the clones don't see themselves that way. But for the ones that do, the jedi set up a secret system to help any clone that wants to desert. What's one more number on a casualty report? Most people outside the order can't tell them apart to fact check. Intrigue. Moral wrestling. Farcical shenanigans.
Dogma was going to die.
Call it disappearing if they wanted, call it retiring…Dogma knew that he was going to die.
Dogma had killed a General.
Dogma had killed a General that had…that had… Suicidal marches, disregard for their names, disregard for their safety, disregard for who they were, disregard… For their being…called them numbers and…betrayed them. Krell had betrayed them, Dogma had followed his every order, wanted to believe in him, wanted to…
So now… Dogma was going to die.
It was the way of things.
It was how things were meant to be done.
Dogma sighed, leaning his head back against the metal of his cell, closing his eyes and wishing that they had at least unclasped his hands…then again, he wasn’t surprised they hadn’t. Dogma was the only Clone, the only Vod on the ship, surrounded by people that didn’t think anything for him.
Dogma was going to die alone.
There was a sound.
For a moment Dogma did not know what he was hearing, his attention turning to the door as a series of ticks and then a…hiss?
Dogma slowly worked himself upright, staring at the door, listening as… there was a series of thumps, a call of alarm, the sound of…was that blaster fire?
Dogma heard the sudden hiss of a lightsaber igniting, the sound of deflected bolts and fell back against the wall, momentary panic burning inside his chest. Shouts, a call of horror, and then…
Silence.
Dogma swallowed dryly and began working his way towards the wall beside the door, unsure what was coming but knowing that if he did not at least try to defend himself he would regret for the rest of his life no matter how short it was…
And then the door opened.
Dogma stared into a wall of gas, flickering lights from within the fumes casting strange shadows, and for a moment he closed his eyes, bracing himself…and then he realized that it was not entering his room.
Dogma watched as something clattered across his floor as it was tossed towards him, staring down at a…bucket…
Dogma hesitated, and then slowly picked it up, pulling it into position on his head, feeling it integrate with his armor, and watching a familiar HUD activate, blinking on to reveal…
Friendlies.
“Trooper Dogma?”
“Yes?” Dogma asked, too confused and too…
“Hey, vod,” came another voice, and Dogma watched as a pair of Clone Troopers, a pair of… “Come on,” they said softly, “we’re here to rescue you, let’s get going.”
“I…I don’t understand,” Dogma managed softly, “I…I killed a General, I’m…in for decommissioning…”
“New orders, Trooper,” one of his vod said, taking hold of his shoulder, “now come on. We have to hurry, that gas will only last so long.”
Dogma hesitated, before allowing himself to be pulled forward, following the two back into the swirling mists, letting them take him deeper within and then finally to a…green…lightsaber. For a moment Dogma froze, hesitating…
“It’s alright, Trooper,” the vod said, his voice quiet, “that’s the Healer, he’s safe.”
Dogma paused and then finally followed him, walking past a being that stood there in…they weren’t traditional Jedi robes, they weren’t armor either, something in the middle, something…something different, maybe civilian, maybe spacer…but ultimately it did not matter past the brief dip of the being’s head in recognition, his saber held in a loose manner. The most intense thing about him was a gas mask, a long outlet valve protecting his mouth and nose. Dogma could see no eyes behind the large blank lenses, could see no hint of flesh… There was a pocket of clean air all the way around an entrance to a ship, kept out in the same way that Dogma’s cell had been kept safe. Dogma realized it had been the Healer and he found himself further confused. But that all was lost as they finally walked towards the airlock, taking in the ship that was on the other side of it, and the other troopers that walked back into it.
They were carrying weapons and other things with them, all of them speaking to each other, and all of them giving Dogma brief nods of greeting as they passed.
Dogma followed them.
“Alright!” the Healer finally called, “sound off!”
Dogma listened in a daze as a series of calls were made, a long list of names that he was too rattled to keep track of, uncertain what or even… What was happening? Why?
“That’s everyone,” the Healer said, and stepped inside, closing the airlock on the ship’s side before closing their own. “Gas will vent in four?”
“Yes, sir,” one of the troopers said.
“I’m not a sir, Maverick,” the Healer said, a level of tease in his voice that suggested that this was a common thing.
“Yes, Healer,” Maverick said, a wide grin in his voice and revealed on his face when he pulled his bucket off. Long red hair, curls tied up on top of his head, sides shaved, eyebrows dyed red… “We ready?” he asked.
“Sounds like it,” the Healer said, “take us out of here.”
There was a call of agreement and Dogma was aware of the feeling of falling away from dock, falling into space and then the brief rattle of switching to hyperspace. Dogma stood there for a moment, his hands still bound and his…he was so confused.
“Oh!” the Healer called out, “here,” he reached out, made a brief gesture and Dogma felt as the binders snapped, releasing his hands. He pulled them back around, instinctively going to rub his wrists even through the plastoid that covered him. Dogma watched as the Healer finally removed his gas mask, pulling it off over…over…
It was a Rodian, Dogma realized. Blue jewel toned with red eyes, those eyes immediately squinting into a smile as he saw him properly.
“Hello, Dogma,” he said, stepping towards him, “my name is Healer Tiq.”
“Healer…Tiq,” Dogma repeated softly. “I…I’m sorry, are you…are you a Jedi?”
“No,” Healer Tiq answered with a smile, “not anymore at least. I have not been a Jedi in…oh…about eight years now.”
Dogma looked around at everyone, taking in the bustle as they walked further into the ship, taking time to bump at each other, all wearing…the trooper armor was different he was realizing. Plastoid had been traded for other elements, almost…
“I don’t understand,” Dogma whispered, “why did you come for me?”
“Because you were worth coming for,” Tiq answered, “come, walk with me, we’ll get you settled with a bunk and a trip to the refresher. You were just taken from Umbara, yes?”
“I…” Dogma said softly, falling into step without thought, “yes…but…if you’re not a Jedi and you aren’t…you aren’t…how do you know?”
“In due time,” Healer Tiq said. “Listen, Dogma,” he said finally, “General Krell has been…” he paused, “a blight on the face of this War and on the Order for too long. His death was a boon to all of us and something that I deeply regret had to come down to you. One of my deeper regrets is that we were unable to lead anything directly against him. It would have put the boys that I have here in danger, and I cannot…” Healer Tiq grimaced briefly. “I only have so much leeway.” Healer Tiq paused, looking at him, “you should not die for General Krell’s betrayal. It is not right. And so, we were asked to get you.”
“You were asked,” Dogma breathed softly.
“Yes,” Healer Tiq said, recognizing it for the question it was, “would you like to speak to Shaak, or perhaps there is…you are from the 501st, are you not? That’s Captain Rex’s unit, I can get a hold of him if you would…”
“You’re sanctioned to do this,” Dogma said softly, “they know…they know that you’re taking Troopers, they know…you’re taking people that have to die.”
Healer Tiq was quiet for a moment, “you do not have to die, Dogma,” he said softly, “you should not speak of yourself that way. That might have been what was ‘meant’ to happen according to some of the rules…but given the fact that your Captain made contact with us shortly after you were taken…I do not think that everyone believed it to be so.”
Dogma took this in for a moment, staring at Healer Tiq for a moment, “Captain Rex…asked for you to find me.”
“Yes,” Healer Tiq answered with a smile.
Dogma paused, staring at him for a moment before swallowing. “But why? I…killed a Jedi, a…a General…”
“You killed a Jedi that was trying to kill you,” Healer Tiq said softly, “you killed a General that had betrayed you and your men. You were acting in self-defense and Dogma…you have every right to defend that self. You have every right to defend yourself and your fellow men.”
“But I didn’t defend myself,” Dogma whispered, “I shot him…he was…unarmed and…”
“An unarmed Jedi is still a fully dangerous Jedi,” Healer Tiq said, his voice very firm. “He would not have stopped, Trooper,” Healer Tiq said, shaking his head, and his hand was strong when it gripped his shoulder. “You do not deserve to roll over and die to give him the final say. Now come on, I promised I’d show you the bunk room.”
Dogma followed, his mind spinning in circles, stumbling slightly as he walked. Healer Tiq waited for him.
The bunk room was nice, had several bunks lining the walls and a line of trunks running down the middle that obviously held affects belonging to the various individuals using them. Healer Tiq led him to an open one and indicated a set of…pajamas?
Dogma reached into the trunk and picked up the fabric in his hands for a moment, staring at the pattern of soft clouds on blue. Unable to help himself Dogma peeled off the gloves he was wearing, taking it again in his own hands, feeling the softness and looking to Healer Tiq with such…
Healer Tiq smiled at him, “they’re a welcome in gift,” he said, his voice so soft, “so many troopers have found that the nicest thing they have is pajamas and have always been so happy to have the ability to change into them that they’ve just become a staple. I did pick out the print, it’s 501st blue, I thought it was clever.”
Dogma held them to his chest for a moment, staring at Healer Tiq.
“Are we deserters?” he breathed softly.
“We’re undesirables,” Healer Tiq said. “Here,” he said, handing him a comm. “This has a channel open directly to Captain Rex. You talk to your Captain, alright? He will explain. If he cannot answer you it will turn off automatically, so do not be alarmed. Obviously he may still be in the middle of a campaign. We will see.”
“Why are you here?” Dogma asked before Healer Tiq could leave. “What do you heal?”
“The Mind,” Healer Tiq said, turning to look at him. “I am a Mind Healer. I deal with trauma, crisis of self, depression, anxiety…complex PTSD is a common one.” Healer Tiq said. “I am here because I could not be anywhere else. I am here because the Jedi and I believe that you all deserve a chance and a choice and my job, my purpose, is to see that you have one. I will be right outside, if you cannot get him I will take you to the refresher, if you can…finish your conversation and I will do the same. You aren’t alone in this, Dogma, there are many that are here for you and with you.”
Dogma held his new pajamas and the comm to his chest for a moment as Tiq left and closed the door behind him, and then finally, slowly sank onto the bunk that was behind the trunk that he had been given. Dogma took a breath, stared at the comm for another moment and then finally made the call.
There was a pause as it attempted to contact him, Dogma realizing that the signal was passing through several relays as it worked to scramble the call, and then finally Dogma was looking at the concerned face of Captain Rex.
Dogma watched as Captain Rex’s expression paused in a moment of recognition before it bloomed into a grin, and Captain Rex gave a very warm, and very heartfelt, “aren’t you a sight for sore eyes, Trooper. I take it Healer Tiq was able to get you, good. I’m…” he sighed, “I’m glad.”
“Captain,” Dogma said roughly, “I don’t…I don’t understand, I was meant to…” he paused, “why did you send them for me?”
Captain Rex paused for a moment, before frowning, his expression dark, “because you didn’t deserve to die on your first campaign because of someone who was meant to be your ally. Now, Healer Tiq’s going to come in and say that he doesn’t like the word ‘deserve’ because that has connotations that can’t be ignored, because obviously bad things happen without reason, and you don’t deserve to live or die any more than the next person… But I’m going to say you didn’t deserve it. I’m also going to say that you should be given a chance to do something else. That you should…choose if you want to do something better.”
“But…” Dogma breathed, “I’m a Trooper, I’m…I’m a soldier…”
“You don’t have to be,” Captain Rex said softly. “Listen, Dogma… A few…Force, even a few months back I might have been right there with you…but I’ve done things, seen things, met people… We’re…we’re not just soldiers, we’re not just clones, we’re men, we’re…we’re living beings. Living beings that haven’t gotten a choice or a chance. I met someone…that took that chance, that made that choice… I respect that man with everything I have in me because he got me thinking… I can’t…give that choice to everyone. None of us can, though we’d like to…but I can give it to the people that wouldn’t be missed. I can give it to you. We…can give that to you.”
“The others are in on this?”
“All the Commanders, and the ones that are Captains, we…” he paused, “we asked the Jedi. They’re in on it, too, they’re the ones that recommended Healer Tiq. We vetted him ourselves, he’s a good man, I respect him a good deal, and he’s good at his job. Listen to him, alright?”
“But…what about you, what about…what about the others?”
“Me? I made my choice. I’m a good soldier, I’m going to see this war through and I’m going to keep helping people like you.” Captain Rex paused then, rubbing a hand over his face. “As for the others…one step at a time, Dogma. Would you think that you needed saving? Would you have believed for one second that this war…that there might be something else?”
Dogma was quiet for a moment and finally laughed. He still didn’t think so.
Captain Rex’s look was sad, and a little rueful, and the little shrug of his shoulders made Dogma look away. “It shouldn’t be on our shoulders,” he said. “It shouldn’t be on the Jedi’s shoulders either. There’s…so many people out there. And yet it all comes back to us. At the end of the day…it is all on our shoulders.” He sighed, “listen, Dogma, the fact is that there’s a war going on. If some of us don’t fight then there might not be a Galaxy to enjoy at the end of it. You can’t join the war effort entirely, not anymore. You can’t be a soldier anymore…but there are other things you can do now. Other places you can go. And maybe you’ll help Healer Tiq and his boys and find more people like you, or maybe you’ll find your own path. The point is…it’s a choice. You’re not a slave to the Republic anymore, Dogma. You can make a choice.”
Dogma took that in for a moment, so utterly overwhelmed with it all, with…with an abundance of choice. “I don’t know what to do…” Dogma breathed.
“That’s alright, Trooper,” Captain Rex said softly, “it’ll come. Trust Healer Tiq and trust yourself and the people around you. You’ve got a bunch of other vode with you, Dogma, you aren’t alone in this. They’ve faced the same choices you have and made their own. Talk to them, alright? They’re good people.”
Dogma nodded slowly, pressing the pajamas to this chest tighter with his free hand, thinking, feeling the softness beneath his fingers.
“Hey,” Captain Rex said softly, narrowing his eyes at them, “what’s that?”
“Pajamas,” Dogma breathed, “a welcome in gift…Healer Tiq picked out the print…it’s 501st blue.”
Captain Rex’s expression pulled into a soft smile, and he finally laughed quietly, “Pajamas, I like that. You’ll make it through, Dogma,” Captain Rex said. “You’re like me, and since you are like me…I know you’ll get it through your head soon. You’ve got so much ahead of you. Good luck, Trooper. I’ve got to sign off now.”
“Can…” Dogma’s voice broke, and Captain Rex waited, “can you tell…tell Tup…that I’m okay?”
Captain Rex smiled at him, “next time you call you can tell him yourself, but we’ve got to do some mop-up work. It was really good to see you, Dogma. I’m happy that you get this opportunity. Don’t steal it from yourself, okay?”
“Okay,” Dogma breathed, and finally hung up the comm. For a moment he sat on his bunk, his mind whirling through the implications of it all, through…through… Dogma was no longer a Slave to the Republic…
Dogma closed his eyes slowly, breathing in and slowly breathing out. He stood up then, walking towards the entrance and watching as the door swung open. Healer Tiq was waiting in the corridor like he had promised, and he smiled at him upon seeing him.
“Do you understand better now?” Healer Tiq asked softly, “is there anything that I can do to explain better?”
Dogma thought for a moment and then slowly shook his head. He wasn’t sure at the moment if he wanted to talk about more of this or if he just…wanted to let it go.
“Very well, come on,” he said, “let’s go to the refresher and you can change.”
Dogma nodded stiffly and followed him, stepping into the communal refresher to find a few Clones already in there. As he walked through he realized that some had prosthetics of some kind, though others were apparently intact. It was momentarily sobering. Dogma had not seen another Clone with prosthetics. Most of the time, outside of smaller things – eyes, for example were often replaced – most of the time the Clones were removed from battle, were…thrown away. To see so many of them with clean and well-maintained prosthetic legs and arms and…
It was a kinder thing than Dogma had ever expected.
They all looked over to Healer Tiq and him, calling their greetings, flashing grins or nods of acknowledgement, a few of them walking over to the Healer and talking to him more directly. Dogma stood in front of an empty shower stall and held the pajamas to his chest, for a moment…
“Here,” Dogma heard, and he turned to his right, finding the grinning face of Maverick to his right. He was holding his hands out, indicating the pajamas. “I’ll put them where they won’t get wet,” he nodded towards a shelf near them, and Dogma could see a few other pairs of pajamas there waiting for their owners to change into them. Yellows and purples and reds and a few oranges and…blues. “It’s alright, Trooper,” Maverick said roughly, his red-dyed brows pinching briefly, taking his shoulder in one hand, even as he took his pajamas with the other. “You’ll get there,” he said, “we’re with you, alright? You aren’t alone.”
“Thank you,” Dogma mumbled, watching as he carefully folded them, before placing them on their own space, smoothing them down and turning around to grin at him, long red-dyed hair bobbing briefly as he nodded.
“Take your time in there,” he said, “there’s not that many of us so we don’t go through the hot water very fast. If that’s too vague…five minutes? Unless you prefer sonics of course,” Maverick grinned. “Your choice.”
Dogma nodded, and walked into the shower stall, stripping his armor cleanly and efficiently, removing his blacks and folding them, placing them to the side and stepping into the spray of hot water as he turned it on, his eyes closing. Five minutes was an indulgence he wouldn’t have ever expected.
When he was clean he took the towel that was dispensed, drying himself off carefully and staring up at the pajamas… Dogma took them down, hesitating for just a moment longer before pulling them on.
The softness across his skin, the feeling of… Dogma stood there for a moment, feeling the looseness of the fabric, the way it allowed his skin to breathe, and stared at his reflection.
Dogma looked…tired…but he also looked…comfortable. Dogma swallowed roughly, taking in the clouds that covered a wide blue expanse, and then turned his head, taking in other Troopers, other Clones in a massive rainbow of colors, some clashing with dyed hair, all of them so comfortable, so…so purposeless, so nice, theirs.
Dogma was wearing something that was his.
Dogma felt a pair of arms wrap around him, suddenly clinging to another vod, another person, realizing that he was…he was…
“It’s alright, vod,” Maverick whispered, “we got you.”
Dogma buried his face in the other man’s shoulder, barely aware of the other hands and arms and…so many, so many, all around him.
Dogma was not alone.
Dogma was not going to die.
Dogma pulled away, and was led to the bunk room, finding Healer Tiq resting there in his own pair of pajamas – plain red that matched his eyes. He smiled at them and there was a call of recognition from the others.
Dogma was guided to his bunk, told quietly that he could take his time in deciding what to do, and allowed to lie there in the growing dark as the lights went out and the ship continued to its destination. Its unknown destination.
For the first time… Dogma stared an actual choice in the face…and knew that he could wait.
Dogma closed his eyes…and began to dream.
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