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utterlyotterlyx · 27 days

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18 with Azriel because mans is taaaaall

Little Thing

Summary - Azriel loves finding any reason to hold you, his height restricted mate, in his arms, and isn't ashamed to admit it.

Warnings - absolutely none really, slight swearing, just Az fluff x 1000

"I've been breaking my back to kiss you."

"I'm not that fucking short."

The weight that occasionally pressed against the tips of his toes had become something he found endearing, because it meant that you were trying with all of your might to kiss him by using his feet as leverage to boost your own height.

Azriel was abnormally tall, his six foot seven to your five foot three was the source of copious amounts of teasing from your shared family, mostly from Cassian who always questioned aloud how Azriel fit inside of you, like it was all he thought about whenever he looked at the two of you.

"Would you like to watch since you're so intrigued about our sex life, Cass?"

"I, uh-," Cassian had stuttered that chill afternoon, the stars had blanketed across the sky, and you were stood in the centre of the lounge in your floor length skirt which only reached Azriel's knees, (he'd tried it on one day much to your delight); you were tapping your foot against the wooden floor, eyebrow arched and waiting for a real answer, "No."

Azriel had to give it to Cassian, and Rhys, and well anyone who questioned how Azriel, the brother with the largest wingspan, managed to fit inside of you. Cassian said often that his cock must rearrange your insides and he was surprised how you could walk around after your nights, mornings, and afternoons together, let alone go to work and live a normal life.

"Thought not. Shame, you could have learnt a thing or two for Nesta," Azriel chortled at your words and sent a wave of pride and adoration down the bond, a shower of affection that you lapped up.

"Ouch, y/n. That stung," Cassian fluttered his fingers over his heart and winced dramatically.

"Bite me," you flipped him off and headed back into the kitchen where the most incredible aromas floated from.

Once a month, you promised to cook a family dinner for them all, having negotiated your family away from the once a week they had begged for. It was as though they believed that you didn't have a life. The most decadent bakery in Velaris had your name plastered on the front of it in pale blue swirls, that was how you had met Azriel, after Feyre had dragged him into the store owned by the tiny fae female who made the best pastries she had ever tasted in her life.

The bond had snapped immediately for him when he saw you in your black apron dusted with flour, pink icing and white buttercream on your cheeks, hair strewn up but spilling over your forehead, boxing up a larger than you three tier cake without breaking a sweat.

The pastries you had made for him once you had decided to accept the bond, and the life that came with it, were almost as good as the passionate love he gave you that night.

Azriel loved everything about you, from the larger than life ferocity and sass you carried in your tiny body, to your equally ferocious loving heart; you were independent, talented, sweet, and kind, a ray of sunshine in his otherwise shadowed reality.

Though, there were two things that Azriel loved more than anything. The first was being able to find any excuse to lift you up in his hands, whether that be to help you reach the top shelf or fuck you against a wall; he wouldn't admit it easily, but he did purposefully hide things out of reach from you so that he had a reason to hold you in his large hands. The second thing he adored was how you would stand on his feet, on your tiptoes, to capture his lips on yours. It was such a sickly sweet part of you, but one that he wouldn't change for anything.

Hearing you strain, Azriel furrowed his brow, imagining you struggling to reach the second shelf of the cupboard in a home where furniture had been made for three huge Illyrians, not a tiny fae baker. Rounding the corner, he smirked at your form, he smirked at the way your skirt was hitched around your thighs as you clambered onto a nearby chair to hop onto the countertop.

Azriel sauntered over to you, laying his large hands on your hips and pressing his lips to the small of your back, grinning against your skin when you shuddered at the contact, "Need any help?" Azriel had moved the stool away from the edge of the counter, placing himself where it used to be.

Turning in his hands, you looked down on him with a wide smile, "No, I got it," you presented the bag of sugar to him and he took it from your fingers, placing it down for you, "Is this what it's like to be you? I can see so much up here."

Azriel chuckled, resting his chin on your stomach and peering up at you through his long lashes that always made you curse his Illyrian genes, "I guess so," he shrugged, locking his arms around your hips, enjoying the moment you had taken to run your fingernails over his scalp which drew a whine from his lips.

Taking his face in your hands, you leaned down and placed your lips to his, a tender embrace, one full of love and the faint taste of your vanilla lip balm that gave your lips the most incredible glossy finish, "How does it feel to kiss someone taller than you?"

Grinning, Azriel prodded, "Amazing actually. I've been breaking my back to kiss you."

You gasped, swatting his shoulder with the towel you had tucked into the back of your skirt, "I'm not that fucking short!"

His laugh boomed throughout the kitchen as you fiddled with the ends of your hair, "Okay, maybe I am just a little bit. Cassian's right, how do we have sex?" Azriel continued to laugh at your mumbling as he lifted you from the counter, placing you back on to the ground which felt so far away from where you were stood moments before.

Your mate bent down to peck your pouting bottom lip, pulling you into his body and stroking his fingers through your hair, "Who are we to question science? It works, that's good enough for me."

"It's definitely good enough for me."

"Oh I know. You told me as much last night - ow!" Azriel hissed as you dug your heel into his foot, frowning, he asked, "What was that for?"

Your cheeks flushed pink and you bashfully whispered, "I don't need Cassian to know what I tell you when we're doing that."

"You said it first."

"And?" There it was, the sass, the popped hip and arched brow, "Now move, I need to finish cooking and you're blocking my view."

Azriel smirked, "Oh my beautiful little thing, but I am the view."

A giggle floated through your lips, his favourite sound apart from when you were moaning his name beneath him, "You're lucky I love you," you fell into his open arms and pressed your lips to his clothed chest, to the exact place where your lips always met when you stood before him.

"I wouldn't change anything about you, you know that right?"

Humming in agreement, your hands wrapped around his back, "I know, Az," you pulled away, craning your neck toward the ceiling to look at him, "I'd change one thing about you though," his face dropped, "That you'd stop purposefully hiding things on the top shelf."

Azriel took a step back, "You know?!"

Scoffing, you turned, focusing back to the slowly simmering melting chocolate on the stove top, "Of course I know. I'm small, not dumb."

Azriel's warmth swarmed you, his huge arms nestled over your chest, and he rested his head atop your own, "All I can do is do it a little less. You know I like man-handling you. It makes me feel strong."

"Big Illyrian baby."

Authors Note

Just a little drabble on a Wednesday evening x

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bubbles-for-all-of-us · 7 months

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Hi would u be interested in writing something about Azriel being really soft with his mate and the IC find it cute but funny to see the scary spymaster acting like a love sick puppy?

Only you my girl

Azriel was known for being as quiet as the night. For being as cold as the deepest winter. To read him was nearly impossible. He was an observer. He collected information even when others thought there was nothing important to pinpoint at that exact moment. He sat in silence. He nodded when others talked, occasionally though. Said a word or two if the situation asked for it. But for the time, his presence in family gatherings was hazy. A true shadow this man was.

And then you came into his life. At first, his secretive nature had blossomed even more. Azriel got even quieter. Even more hard to read. The day he brought you over had been rather awkward. You were his lover - that's what was stated. Yet he sat there as if you weren't right beside him. While Cassian held Nesta close. Rhys's hands were resting on Feyre's. Azriel just couldn't and you knew it. This was new. He didn't know how. He wasn't sure if this was part of him. This vulnerable part of him could be shown.

It started slow. Azriel's hand-wound lingers on your thigh beneath the table. You didn't acknowledge it at first. Because Azriel and touch was like kid and medicine. The moment you point out the inevitable existence of one and another you get a negative correlation that leads to absolute opposite outcomes.

So you let him squeeze your thigh in peace. Then came the little rubs and him reaching for your hand. His chair would be scotched closer to yours. And so the little thing unfolded. You were glad that others never brought it up either. You knew how much they cared for the shadowsinger. Cassian had made it real clear that he didn't usually fight women but that if you were to hurt Azriel he would not be responsible for his actions to which you had nodded. They all had watched the spymaster suffering alone for long enough. Everyone was happy to get fed the crumbs of his open affection. Smiling tenderly when they were lucky to catch a glimpse of it.

But then came the trouble in the camps. The boys were barely home. At one point they had been away for more than a couple of days. That had broken something in Azriel though. It was the first time he had been away for a longer period of time. He was the last to come through the door. Barely dragged his feet. Tight frown on his face. Gears in his head turned so loudly it was hard to not hear it. You pushed off the wall. Moving past the other two couples lost in their conversation.

"Hey, big boy", you muttered, stepping closer, hands reaching to clasp Azriel's palms. "I hate it when you call me that", Azriel said flatly. Yet his mind had staggered for just a moment. "Right, forgot you preferred sugar plum more", you teased him, leaning against his chest more. That made a slight chuckle slip past Azriel's lips. Even if he rolled his eyes at your nicknames Azriel enjoyed them immensely, since no one had even cared enough to give him a loving nickname before.

The spymaster looked down at your much smaller frame. Hands still intertwined. The fact that he could hear your heartbeat so clearly calmed him down. Settled his demons. "Missed you", he muttered quietly, moving his hand to cup your cheek. "I missed you so much as well. The bed was so cold without you", you hummed, pressing your cheek deeper into his palm. Loving the feeling of his rougher skin. Azriel couldn't help but smile at your words, "That's the only thing you missed?", he teased. You gasped, shaking your head, "You horny...", "Oh, who said I was implying sex, I just meant my looks and charm", Azriel sassed, his words followed by a snort across the room.

Both of you instantly turned your gazes. Azriel's arms tightened against your body as you found four sets of eyes watching you. "Look at you joking around, huh", Cassian beamed, "Now we can tease him for being badly in love", Rhys added causing the rest of the family to chuckle. You bit your lip as you felt Azriel lower his head to your shoulder. "Leave my baby alone", you said, hand now combing through Azriel's tangled curls. "Oh, a baby", Cassian made baby sounds, whining till Nesta hit his chest.

"You never learned to play nice, huh?", you said to Cassian, but before the lord of bloodshed could answer you felt cold mist starting to swirl around you as Azriel winnowed with you still in his arms. "Tell me to eat his bacon in the morning", Azriel grumbled, bringing you even closer to him. Now more than ever I need to feel you in his arms. You chuckled, "I'll help you with that", you stated before wrapping yourself around your mate's frame.

#azriel x reader #azriel imagine #azriel x you #azriel shadowsinger #azriel spymaster #acotar x reader #acotar x you #acotar imagine

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bettdraws · 2 months

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I want sassy Lucien back. I want him at ease, whistling, strolling into in Velaris with his long hair and perfect attire with no fucks to give like…

“Rhysand, always a pleasure” Sarcasm thick as he pats the High Lord of Night on the back forcefully before diverting his attention to Az and Cassian.

“The charming and broody Illyrians! have you won any snowball fights while I was gone?” A grumble from Azriel. “Damn, that’s a shame”

“Have the humans finally tire of you?” Cassian the only one entertaining his sass and complementing his teasing.

Lucien clicks his tongue. “Oh they did long ago” He places his hands on both Illyrian’s shoulders. “I told them you all miss me and I couldn’t keep you waiting before you died of boredom, so here you got me, at your service gentlemales”

Az and Rhys just roll their eyes, Cassian just shakes his head.

#lucien vanserra #i want him to be a pain in the ass again #lucien vanserra headcanon #pro lucien vanserra #Inner circle

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readychilledwine · 5 days

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Rhys w a small reader with a big mouth?

Little Girl, Big Mouth

Rhys with a mouthy reader headcanons

Warnings - implied smut, reader could be seen as trashy but Rhys loves it

A/n - This anon actually came from an IRL friend. She texted me about it, and I had her clarify if she meant a gossip or big mouth as in a girl who is prone to talking shit and fighting. It was talking shit and fighting, so thanks, Sammie 💕💕

Ps- I will figure out what your username is 👀 but you're very sweet for doing this the way the rest of my followers do instead of just texting me first😭

You aren't a doormat. He refuses to let you be seen as one. Even if that means you get into a verbal argument here and there.

Those verbal arguments have gotten physical.

My baby daddy always tells me not to write a check he can't cash (if you don't know what that means, it means don't start a fight that he can't finsh.) You don't have that problem with Rhysand.

If you stand, mouth firing off insults as someone else is, he will stand too. Ride or die, he won't let you fight without him.

And that is if the man isn’t already behind you, warning the male standing over you without even having to speak that if he lays a hand on you or speaks out of line, he will be finding out why Rhysand is proud to be half illyrian.

You do know time and place, but if someone insults your male, your family, or your court first, all bets are off.

Your mouth is equal opportunity. High fae, lower, male, female, high lord? You don't care. All bets are off the table with you. No one is safe.

Beron? Constantly roasting him. Asking him if beating his wife helps him feel like a real male. Keir? Verbally torn apart. How pathetic he must be to think he has some pull when he lost out on being high lord.

Hell, illyrian males aren't even safe from you. Not when three immediately are behind you the second they feel your mood change.

And it isn't that you can't fight. You are well trained and can more than hold your own. He just prefers you let him.

He's only held you back once. It was from Amren, and he hardly caught you in time before you jumped on her.

Cassian was disappointed. He wanted to watch two tiny females wrestle it out. He said it would be better if pretty lacy outfits were involved, but he was ready to settle for you in your dress and Amren in her two piece outfit.

Rhys did not stop you, nor Amren, from tackling Cassian for that comment.

He will throw you over his shoulder, ignoring you as you scream for him to put you down while still running your mouth as you're carried out of the room. But only if family is involved.

Mother knows they are no exception. You all get on each other's nerves from time to time. Besides Azriel. You could never fight Azriel.

Rhys loves it. He loves how spicy you are. He loves how much fight and sass you have. He loves how it's always to people who are mean.

He does love fighting for you as well. Sometimes, he asks you to pick fights when it's someone he has been itching to get his hands on.

He rewards you throughly when you oblige him.

"Where's that big mouth now, darling?" While your back is arched off the bed, and your mind is just a haze. "Thought you had so much to say earlier."

He loves making his girl with so much to say and so many opinions go dumb for him.

He loves it when all you can think to say is his name and barely thrown together words.

He loves putting your mouth to other uses if you start in on him, too.

He'd keep you tucked under his desk for hours, putting your mouth towards something actually useful if you two fight.

And that's rare. Your opinions are normally shared and mutual. It's why you two work. Otherwise, you would be constantly at each other's throats with how vocally dominant you both like to be.

Overall, he'd change nothing about how sassy you can be. He loves you as is. Even if it means you bandaging his hands after a trip to Illyria.

#elizabeths.updates #send asks #send anons #acotar x reader #rhys headcanons #rhys x reader #rhysand x reader #rhys acotar #rhysand acotar #rhysand x you #rhysand x y/n #rhys x you #rhys x y/n #rhysand headcanons

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lorcandidlucienwill · 3 months

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I am highly irritated today because I just realized SJM seems to be trying to give Lucien characteristics to Azriel. This is from Crescent City 3:

I might accept this if he was saying it to Rhysand or someone he's comfortable with, but the snarking at the enemies shit? That is a Lucien trait entirely. "Go back to the shit-hole you crawled out of," remember? Then wtf was with the whole stroking Nesta's hair shit??? That is ALSO a Lucien trait. Feyre-Lucien in ACOWAR, anyone? Azriel: Arrogant, standoffish, fights in High Lords meetings, petty to Rhys and Feyre when they tell him no, hates the Illyrians, stroking Nesta's hair and sassing Vesperus. HUH?? his character isn't even consistent. If SJM tries to turn him into a watered-down Lucien, I will blacklist SJM for eternity. She is already on thin ass fucking ice.

#lucien vanserra #pro lucien vanserra #anti azriel #hofas #sjm critical

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aldbooks · 1 year

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Random thought I had today. All the men in ACOTAR (the ones we care about anyway) are all switches, but in different ways...

Rhys: Soft dom. Literally gives in the moment you say 'please'. No self control, he likes to please. As a sub though- this man is an alpha sub, always trying to top, even from the bottom

Cassian: Primal dom. Def a breeding kink. When you get him on his knees though, that boy is a sluuuut. Total glutton for punishment, you can humiliate this man and he will crawl back for more. "Yes, mistress. Step on my throat. Tell me I'm worthless. Hurt me. Please."

Azriel: Pleasure dom, slightly sadistic, but not for physical pain, he just likes to see you squirm. Perfect sub. Follows every command. If you say 'sit still' or 'don't touch', he's not doing a damn thing until he has absolute permission.

Lucien: Affectionate dom. Lots of little touches and caresses, words of praise. Knows how to make you do exactly what he wants without lifting a finger. Absolute charmer. As a sub, he leans towards brat tendencies. He'll do what you ask of him, but he'll sass you the whole time so you think he's fighting you until you realize he's already obeyed.

Helion: 😂 This man is horrible at both taking and giving orders, he just like to have fun. D/s play is like a role-play game for him. As long as everyone has a good time, he's happy to play along

Tarquin: Strict dom, but he has a lot of weaknesses. You say the right words and he'll give in just to hear your pleasure. Very obedient and affectionate sub (with a soft dom- don't be mean, he's a sensitive boy)

Eris: aka the exception. Very strict dom, no mercy, but doesn't care for physical pain. Edging is his game. You obey his orders, and he'll give you unimaginable pleasure. As a sub though... he's not really a sub, he just lets you think you're in control until he loses patience and then he's in charge

Tamlin:.... Not only do I think this man is deeply in the closet in regards to his sexuality, but his preferences on control, as well. He's been conditioned to believe he should be a dom, so he does it (not well), but with the right partner... best. sub. ever.

#ACOTAR men #rhysand #cassian acotar #azriel acotar #lucien vanserra #helion spell cleaver #tarquin #eris vanserra #tamlin

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acourtofthought · 11 days

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Since we know mates are similar, I'm excited to see witty and charming Elain returning in full force. We know Lucien is a man of wit and cunning. The banter between these two would be loaded with sweetness and spice.

Agreed! We see hints of Elain's real personality peppered throughout the series but it never lasts for long where she's at. I think part of that is because none of the IC consider her someone to banter with, their perception of her is a lot different than who she actually is but I think the other part of that is the IC all seem to have very different personalities from Lucien. Rhys can be witty and charming at times, or he was in book 2 with Feyre and Cassian can be snarky but he also gives off a little of that "dude bro" energy and while he's always been very nice to Elain he doesn't engage her. Az seems intelligent but he doesn't have much outward personality beyond that, he's not really trying to pull anyone out of their shell, getting them to open up or looking for them to banter with him. Usually the MMCs reserve the most playful aspects of their personality to their mates. But Lucien seems to enjoy banter as a constant. He wanted Feyre to sass back at him and they were only ever friends. And you can see that in Elain too, where she's opened herself up to teasing with the others but nobody keeps that ball rolling. They laugh at her jokes but there's never a follow up quip. I am positive that Elain and Lucien are going to bring out the best in one another in every aspect. They'll go head to head with their intelligence, their sass, their love and affection. I can't wait.

#pro elucien #elucien

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leoniestarlee · 3 months

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Illyrian Assassin (5)

Pairing: Azriel x OC

Word Count: 1.2k

Warning: past trauma, slow burn

(1) (2) (3) (4)

Black wind and darkness cleared from around us as we appeared in the townhouse, my hand in Rhysand's as he held Willa's other, and Daisy held onto my neck while I held her up.

"He's home!" Cassian roared, the house shaking in response as I quickly let go of Rhys's hand, grabbed Willa by the collar of her coat, and yanked her to my side.

Seconds later, I'm backing away into the sitting room with Willa and Daisy, to where Mor and Amren watched Cassian tackle Rhys in a hug. Both the little girls laughed as Rhys groaned, trying to push Cass off him.

"He defiantly thought he was about to die," Mor snickered, taking Willa's hand and pulling her onto the couch beside her.

"I think he went paler," I added, sitting on the opposite couch next to Amren with Daisy on my lap.

Cassian finally got up, pulling Rhys with him only to pull him into a bone-crushing hug. "You're a prick."

Rhysand laughed, hugging him back. "I missed you too, brother."

Tears lined my eyes as I watched them reunite and when I looked at Mor, I saw her tears had already fallen as she smiled at them.

Azriel appeared behind Cassian from a rip in the world, a smile on his face as he stared at Rhys while Cassian finally pulled away. Rhys looked at him, his eyes filled with more tears and a broad smile on his face.

"I would've been here the second you got back, but I hadn't known—"

Rhys pulled Azriel into a hug, cutting him off and Azriel didn't wait another second to hug him back. "We have a score to settle," Azriel reminded him.

The whole room erupted in laughter, and I wiped away my tears as they both pulled away, Rhys punching him in the arm once.

"It's been too long," Mor said, glancing at all of us and wrapping her arm around Willa. "New rule, no more separation."

"Damn right," I agreed as Daisy laid back against my chest and Azriel took a seat beside me. Cassian sat down next to Willa, poking his tongue out at her and she returned the gesture, making me snort again.

Rhys slowly made his way to the armchair beside Cassian, his eyes scanning over us like he can't believe we're all together again with two more members to our family.

Finally, after 49 years and constant worrying for Rhys, he's home and we're a family again. I truly couldn't be happier.

"Is it true you have wings like Cass and Az?" Willa asked Rhysand, her eyes darting around his shoulders where his wings rarely appeared.

Rhys chuckled. "I do, but I have a power that hides them. When I've had some rest, I'll show you."

Willa's eyes lit up in response. "I'm definitely drawing them." Then she shot up from her seat, hurrying over to me. "Can I have your bag, please?"

I smiled and Azriel moved over, allowing Daisy to sit between us as I pulled off the bag from my shoulder and handed it to Willa. We all quietly watched her as she searched through it with furrowed brows, until she made a satisfied sound and pulled out a folded piece of paper.

"What's that?" I asked her, leaning forward.

She gave me a cheeky smile, walking toward Cassian. "A gift for the General."

"I was not expecting that," Amren mused as Mor's brows rose to the top of her head.

Cassian was beaming with joy as Willa held the paper out to him and he took it. Slowly, knowing we were all waiting, he unfolded the paper and a toothy smile flashed on his face.

"It's a perfect replica," he said to her, holding the paper up to the light. "How did you remember every detail of my wings?"

Ah, she'd given him the wings she snapped a pencil over while drawing.

That attitude waiting under her surface showed as she placed a hand on her hip. "I train with you every morning. I have to look at those wings."

Rhysand and Azriel snorted at the sass in her tone as I tried not to laugh at Cassian's grin.

"I would make you do five push-ups right now," he drawled, and annoyance flickered across her face, "but since you gifted me a drawing of my wings, I'll take off ten push-ups for tomorrow's training."

Willa crossed her arms over her chest in triumph before plopping back down beside Mor while I asked, "How many push-ups do you make her do?"

"Thirty," she grumbled.

"No wonder she's always complaining," I groaned, sending Cassian a pointed look as he chuckled. "Let's drop the push-ups to twenty." His chuck silenced as he sent me a small glare. "She's new to this, Cass. Don't push her so hard so fast."

"I'm the teacher—"

"Cassian," I murmured in warning. "Twenty. Push-ups."

He held my stare for a long moment as everyone else silently watched. Then he sighed, "Fine, mother."

"Glad to see not much changed," Rhysand laughed, patting Cassian on the back. "She's still got you by the balls."

My eyes widened, as did Mor's at his language around the girls, whereas Amren laughed.

"What does 'got you by the balls' mean?" Daisy asked me, looking up at me with curiosity in her eyes.

"Rhysand," I groaned, looking over at him to see him cringing at me. "How do I explain that one?"

"Uh..." he trailed off, looking to Azriel for an answer.

"I'm staying out of this," Azriel said, putting his hands up in defense. "If I say the wrong thing, I'll be getting a growling next."

I walked back down the stairs after putting Willa and Daisy to bed and my green dress from arriving here was replaced by a cream sweater and long pants. I walked into the sitting room where the others were lounging around with glasses full of wine.

Rhys cracked open one of his most expensive bottles before the kids went to bed, but I'd refused to drink at the time because my one big rule with the girls was that I never drink around them. And I'll stick to that until they're older.

Azriel held out a glass toward me as I sat down beside him, exhaustion from the tears, and happiness we all shared today starting to take a toll on me. I murmured a thank you as I took a sip, sinking into the couch. Mor and Cassian continued their conversation as Rhys and Amren talked about meetings they needed to have straight away and I stayed silent, closing my eyes.

Azriel moved his arm, placing it around my shoulders and I softly smiled as I moved closer to him, resting my head against the side of him.

"Were the girls easy to get to sleep?" he asked, his tone low and soft.

I nodded. "Daisy fell asleep the second her head hit the pillow. Willa took a bit longer, but now she's passed out and snoring."

He chuckled, pulling a blanket over my legs before taking the wine glass from my hand as darkness slowly started to sweep in to claim me to sleep. With the others here, I knew one of them would carry me to bed, which meant I could finally fall asleep. And it was easier too, with Azriel's steady heartbeat lulling me.

"We'll need to start hunting them down soon," Cassian said, and my eyes flew open, any relaxation I was feeling gone.

"Hunt who down?" I asked him, sitting up straighter.

Cassian glanced at me and then Azriel as I leaned back. "I was meant to speak to you the other day, but it slipped my mind." I sent him a look to continue as Mor kicked her feet into his lap. "There are rogue Illyrian war bands in the mountains that took command under Amarantha's rule. We'll need to hunt them down and give them a choice to either live under Rhys's rule or die."

"Fucking great," I cursed, leaning my head on Azriel's chest again.

"I would rather this shit be done as soon as possible," Rhys started, looking at all of us. "For the rest of tonight, we'll prepare and then at first light, Cassian, Azriel, Rory, and I—" he stopped himself, his eyes darting to me with a small cringe. "Sorry, I forgot you have the girls."

"If you want to join you boys—and I have no doubt about it—then I'm free to watch the girls for the next few weeks," Mor offered me before anyone I could say anything. Then she turned to Amren. "And I'm sure Amren won't mind giving me a hand."

Amren narrowed her eyes to slits as she looked at Mor, neither of them breaking the stare until Amren did and shrugged her shoulders. "With Cassian not being here, I'll have more time to teach them."

Mor clapped her hands, looking back at me. "I promise the girls are in safe hands with us!"

I studied her, and then Amren as anxiety pickled my skin. I trusted the two of them to watch the girls with my life, but I'd never been away from the girls for more than three days. They would love to stay with Mor, who I just know will make it like a huge sleepover and be filled with fun things to do with them. Daisy would love to spend time with Amren too, and Willa would, but with that little attitude she has, I just hope Amren doesn't snap at her.

"I'll hunt down the war bands," I started, Cassian grinning across from me, "if Amren agrees to not yell or use her magic against either of the girls."

"Seriously?" Amren lifted her brows, and I sharpened my look at her. "Fine. I won't get mad at them at all. I'll just leave them with Mor whenever they start pushing my buttons."

"Better than nothing," Mor mumbled, sending a small glare to Amren.

I turned to Rhys, sitting up straighter. "Can I winnow back here every four days for five minutes just to check on the girls? I've never been away from them for longer than three days and I don't want them to worry."

"I'll even winnow you back here myself," Rhys promised, leaning back in his seat.

"The Illyrian Assassin is back," Cassian mused with a grin thrown my way. It had been years since any of them had called me that, mainly because the kids were always around, but I somewhat missed that name. Almost as much as I'd missed the fear on people's faces as that name got mentioned.

"There's another talk we need to have," Rhys said, clearing his throat as his face turned serious. An uncomfortable tension filled the room, and I had a feeling we all knew what was about to be spoken. "Due to Amarantha's ruling and terror, Under the Mountain has been sealed off and it will no longer be a neutral meeting space for the High Lords." Dread. That was dread and guilt and anger in all of our eyes as we glanced around at each other.

"How was the curse broken?" By the look on his face, I'd say Cassian mentally just ripped a wound open in Rhysand's heart.

"There was a mortal girl, Tamlin's lover, and she came to save him," he started, his eyes filled with the glaze of a memory as Az held me closer to him, his fingers tracing light shapes on my shoulder while Rhys went on, telling us everything that happened from Feyre's arrival and until the curse was broken.

#acotar #acotar series #azriel #azriel acotar #acotar fanfiction #acotar fanfic #azriel shadowsinger #azriel spymaster #shadowsinger #cassian #cassian acotar #oldersister #rhysand #wattpad #wattpad writer #night court #illyrian #friends to lovers

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sunshinebingo · 5 months

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idk if your request is still open but i’ll try my luck 😭

could you please do a gwynriel angst where they have to attend a friend’s wedding party and their friends didn’t know they have broken up and they were forced into a seven minutes in heaven game but instead of what their friends have expected, the seven minutes turned out to be tears and heartbreak

i’m feeling kinda sad rn and this idea suddenly popped into my head. If you couldn’t do it, totally fine

Hi anon!! My request is always open so please feel free to send me any suggestion you might have.

Thank you so so much for having sent this one. It made me cry a bit ngl 😂 I hope you like it 🤭

Gwynriel - 1.8k - No warning - Angst only

Read on Ao3 or below the cut

*****

Love is a losing game

Some said better to love and lose than to have never known love. Right now, Gwyn wished she had never known love at all. As she watched the two newlyweds dressed in lace and silks whiter than the roses that filled the small garden, their eyes sparkling with happiness and love, their laughs rising above that of the small party who had gathered to celebrate this new step in their life, Gwyn saw what she would never have. And she wished, more than anything, that she had never known what being in love felt like.

Her own bridesmaid outfit was a mockery of it. The ivory dress that Emerie had wanted her chosen sisters to wear when walking her down the aisle had seemed to laugh at Gwyn with every step she had made, blue bouquet in hand, towards the alter. It was all a cruel, sick joke and she hated it. Hated herself for having so stupidly walked into it.

“Hey,” Nesta’s gentle voice broke through her thoughts.

Gwyn turned to look at sister, blinking away the tears of anger that had started to fill her eyes. Nesta narrowed her eyes inquisitively. “Are you okay?”

No.

“I am,” she offered Nesta one the fakest smile she had ever forced onto her face. Gwyn shrugged at her sister’s silent insistence. “I’m just so happy for them.”

Nesta laughed and picked up her crystal glass. “You’ve always been the most romantic of the three of us,” she said, referring to Gwyn, Emerie and herself. Emerie and Nesta. The only true loves of her life besides her twin and her mother.

“And the funniest,” Gwyn added with none of the joy that usually accompanied her sass.

“And the sweetest and the smartest,” Emerie chimed in across from them, fingers entwined in her new wife’s.

Nesta hummed her approval. Gwyn wondered how long it would take for them to notice the walls she had built around herself to hide her misery. She hoped that the cracks forming in this wall as she watched everyone’s happy faces would not make the whole thing crumble before she could get far away from them.

An eruption of voices caused another crack to form. It got worse when Cassian’s boisterous voice called her name on the other side of Nesta, along with another.

“Gwyn and Azriel. It’s time to find out the truth.”

Gwyn tensed and blurted a, “What?”

She felt a wave of panic rising. Gwyn internally added more bricks to her wall. She slammed her hands against the cracks even as more tears threatened to bring it all down. She couldn’t be weak. Not now. Not in front of him. Not ever.

Not now. Please. Please.

“We need to find out if you two can spend seven minutes in heaven and keep things clean,” Rhysand explained across from Cassian, no doubt mistaking her dread for confusion. His words settled in Gwyn before she could sigh at the fact that no one had yet learned the real truth.

Only then, hours after having stepped foot here, did she look at him for more than a second. His hazel eyes were already on her. Gwyn refused to read any emotion in them. She could not bear anymore lies from him.

“Come on Gwynnie,” Cassian went on. “We already placed the bets. And I know I will win because Az hasn’t stopped looking at you.”

Feyre giggled next to Rhys. “That’s nothing new Cass.”

“I know but it’s different today. His stare has been...,” Cassian placed a finger on his chin as though he was looking for the perfect word. “...harder,” he finally added with a wink that earned him a laugh from everyone around the table.

“It’s probably the white dress,” Mor wiggled her perfect eyebrows at Gwyn.

A flush crept up Gwyn’s cheeks. Not because of the insinuation from the beautiful blond, but because there had been a time where she would have believed everything that they were saying. What a fool she had been. What a stupid, romantic, naive fool.

“Oh that pretty blush is promising,” Nesta teased next to her. “Come on.”

Before she could give any response, Nesta was out of her chair and pulling Gwyn up by the arm. Next to her, Cassian had already pulled a semi-reluctant Azriel out of his seat and was dragging him across the garden towards the small shed.

All words evaded Gwyn. All she could focus on was trying to keep herself together. She could do this. Seven minutes. She would be strong. For seven minutes.

“And no less,” Cassian exclaimed after pushing both her and Azriel in the shed. Gwyn stared at the closed door after the loud click of the lock sounded from outside.

The silence in the small dark place was louder than the faint voices on the other side. It stretched on for what felt like ten times more than seven minutes. Everything was so still around her that despite having her back to him, Gwyn felt Azriel lift his hand and reach towards her.

“Gwy-,”

“Don’t,” she took a step to the side before he could touch her shoulder.

“Gwyn plea-,”

“Don’t,” she said more firmly. Though her next words came out in a whisper. “Please, don’t.”

She turned around and faced him. She begged her heart to keep quiet and pleaded with reason to not abandon her. This situation seemed like a mirror of the last time that they had been in the same room. Suddenly, the last month faded into nothing. Gwyn felt like she was still in his living room, staring into his eyes and wondering why on earth she had ever trusted him. It was pity for herself that she had felt before she had stormed out of his apartment that night.

“Gwyn. Please,” he took a step forward and she took one back. “Let me explain.”

“What I saw was explanation enough,” she snapped.

“It’s not what you think.” His voice was laced with impatience. If she believed in his lies, she would have also discerned hurt in it. But it was probably a bit of wishful thinking from her part.

Gwyn let out a sardonic laugh. “And what would you have thought, Azriel,” she spat his name like it had become the hardest thing for her to say, “if you had seen me doing what you were doing with her.”

He ran a hand through his hair, pulling on the dark strands in frustration like he usually did.

“It was a mistake. A huge, fucking mistake. And I regret every fucking second of it.”

“A mistake...,” Gwyn tasted the word on her tongue. It was the same word he had used that day. That same word that she had turned around and around in her head for the past month while she had thought back on the years that they had spent together.

“This should have never happened, you have to believe me.”

“But it did.”

“It was a fucking mistake.” That godforsaken word again. As if saying it enough times would remove his involvement in the act he had committed. “I swear love, I never wanted to hurt you. She - ”

“She what?” her voice rose above his and made him freeze. “Did she force you to do anything?”

Azriel didn’t react. His silence was answer enough. And when he kept staring at her with those deep hazel eyes that she adored so much, with that same intensity that had made her lose her godsdamned mind so many times since she had first looked into them, her wall crumbled. Her strength to keep it up left her, running away to the darkest corner of the shed along with her resolve to keep her mouth shut.

“I thought that you would be the one to finally make me believe that I deserve this kind of love. But y-you...,” she wasn’t sure what to say except that she had to let out what had been plaguing her mind for a whole month.

“I trusted you. I...”

He took another step towards her but she stopped him with a hand on his chest. She ignored what touching him was doing to her. Ignored that she wasn’t the only one that had touched him and kept talking despite her voice coming out as sobs

“I never forced you to stay with me. You always had a choice. And you chose to hurt me.”

“I didn’t want –,”

“BUT YOU DID,” she shouted.

She didn’t notice the sudden quiet of the voices outside nor did she care. Azriel fell to his knees, tears streaming down his face. “Please, my love. This will never happen again.”

Looking at him like this made something twist inside Gwyn. Her whole body was trembling with anger and pain. An endless flow of tears started streaming down her face. How dare he make such empty promises after having ripped her heart out like he did.

“I know you still love me, Gwyn.”

She huffed. “Of course I love you.” There was no point in denying it. “I hate myself for loving you so much.”

Azriel grabbed one of her hands and brought it to his lips. “Please let me fix this. I love you more than anything.”

Another sentence that she had heard back then. As if trust could be fixed by simply snapping one’s fingers. As if those images that had haunted her for an entire month would disappear by simply piling new ones on top.

“If this is your idea of love, then it’s wrong,” she said, slowly removing her hand from his. She closed her eyes as she did so, knowing well that this would be last time she would ever let him touch her. Perhaps the last time she would ever let any man touch her. It seemed impossible in this moment that she would ever trust a man again with her heart. Not when it would always remain with the one kneeling at her feet. The sight was another mockery of the future she had dreamed for them. Another sick and cruel joke of life.

A knock sounded at the door followed by Cassian’s deep voice. “You still decent in there? Time’s over.”

Time wasn’t the only thing that was over. Gwyn was almost at the door when Azriel abruptly stood up and grabbed her wrist. Without even thinking, she turned around and slapped him so hard that the incessant knocking on the door stopped.

Azriel released her wrist and brought his hand to his cheek. His hazel eyes found hers again. His eyes were red and filled with tears, his expression full of something that she refused to acknowledge.

Since she had nothing left to say and so much more tears left to shed, Gwyn turned around and walked out, to somewhere she could mourn the loss of her heart.

#ANGST #Warning - No happy ending #I broke my own heart writing this #thank you anon!#gwynriel #gwyneth berdara #azriel shadowsinger

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theladyofbloodshed · 3 months

Text

HOFAS thoughts in general

Now that I had some time to think about it

Tharion sucks - definition of a woman can fix him

what the heck was that random marriage?????

The river queen turned out not to be bad either 🙄

Fury sucks - what's the point in her except bailing out bryce when convenient

I thought Ithan and the alpha were set up as mates then suddenly we get the beginning of a romance wedged in at the end with a different wolf

Bye Ariadne i guess

Viper Queen is really not as mean and dangerous???

Ithan is stupid as hell to agree to a fight like I thought he'd either fight Ariadne, the Fendyr heir or Tharion

Hypaxia is more and more boring each book when she started off great

Bryce became insufferable

Azriel not noticing she's picking her scabs but keeps remarking on her hands not healing

MAGIC LANGUAGE BEAN

rhys can choke

cassian can die a painful death

bryce needs to be nicer to her parents

also tying up her dad had me rolling my eyes like miss sass over here!

ruhn and lidia are really boring

idk how she can even think about sex and orgasms when she's literally out of her mind with worry about her sons

baxian is a good egg

but why did he bite off ruhn's hand i didn't get how they thought that would work when they're all in so much pain and then ruhn would be in more pain

hunt's heritage reveal was so boring

managed to kill 4 asteri so easily and the others conveniently aren't there because presumably they'll be in her other series

they're also not as scary because why didn't they go and kidnap her parents as leverage straight away lmao

hunt was just an angel and i felt so bad for him that bryce argued about him not wanting to be all in for her suicide squad then he felt guilty and apologised ???

i gave it a 3.5 stars and i think i was being generous

free nesta <3 <3 <3

#hofas #hofas spoilers

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davinaclaire16 · 2 years

Text

Wings of Dusk

Azriel X Reader

You’re Rhysands Elder sister. The first born of the Moonbeams yet no one ever talks about you much. After a century of every one thinking you dead you come back and find that special connection with a certain shadow singer still exist. A story of heart break, mystery, and past trauma…. Please be kind I’ve never written a story before I just couldn’t get this out of my head! The only thing decided about the readers appearance is that you have jet black hair and my timeline of events may differ forms the books a little.

Warnings: speak of torture and SA

You couldn’t even remember how long it had been since you had seen your family. It had been before you went under the mountain and it had been some time since Amarantha had been beat by that human girl. You of course weren’t there seeing you had escaped the mountain and Amaranthas punishments for you. It was hard to even think about… being under that mountain and the fact your own brother had commanded you to go with her to be her soldiers whore . All because the captain of her fleet took a special liking to you. You were never sure why Rhysand had given you away nor did you dare ask when you found that he himself became her whore not long after you had went under. But the past was the past and after you had escaped you found yourself in the day court where you stayed kept a low profile knowing everyone thought you dead you couldn’t risk reaching out or going back home. After everyone had been freed you had befriended the lord of day Helion and didnt see a reason to go back home. Eventually you had even become his 2nd in command and as close as the two of you were you still had never told him you were basically the princess of the night court. You guessed that’s how you ended up in this predicament standing outside of the day courts side doors to the throne room in which your family was in to see the High Lord.

You stood outside the throne room doors that connected right to the throne. Nervously pacing adorned in day court colors. You wore a beautiful shimmering gold dress with a fairly modest v neck. Gold had surprising always looked stunning on you. You were of course not ignorant to your beauty family and strangers were never shy to tell you that you were the most beguiling woman they had ever seen. In fact in the presence of Mor it was she who was compared to you. And maybe your beauty was the very reason Helion had put up with your sass and back talk for so long. It was during your pacing you heard Helion say “Well Rhysand to what do I owe the pleasure” you couldn’t hear Rhys reply over your own heartbeat and the next thing you knew you heard Helion introduce his 2nd in Command. You quickly opened the door and saw the back of Helions throne and you prayed your shaky knees would get you up the stairs of his throne. Once at the top you stood tall and proud next to Helions throne and he introduced you.

“Inner Circle of the night court it is my pleasure to introduce my second in command Y/N. Although Stunning be careful she’s quite dangerous.”

You swore you felt the whole room stop breathing and you finally allowed yourself to scan your family and there before you stood from left to right Cassian, Mor, Rhys, Amren, and Azriel. You could feel all of there eyes piercing through you with looks of pure disbelief except the dear shadow singer his face wore something of shock, disbelief, relief, and excitement all wrapped up in one like all his prayers to the mother had just been answered. It was then you made your way down the stairs to Cassian and simply held out your hand and said “and you must be the High lords general”? “ What was the name again?” Cassian looked at you dumbfounded and watched as Mor jabbed him in the side and he quickly shook himself out of it grabbed your hand and very unsurely told you his name. It was then you moved down the line in front of Mor where she as well gave her name and shook her hand. Next up was your dear brother and you bowed “High Lord” when you rose you could see the start of a tear form and felt a pounding at the walls in your mind to be let in. But at last you moved on and let Amren spit out her name almost like she knew about the game you were playing at. And lastly you met the eyes of a certain shadow singers who’s gaze had never left you with the same face he wore before and you felt proud of yourself to had finally shocked the all knowing shadow singer and gotten through the cold emotionless face he wore all the time. His shadows twirled around your figure and he just held your hand and starred into you (c) eyes. And right before he gave his name you bowed slightly never leaving his eyes and interrupted him and lightly breathed Azriel….

Let me know if anyone is actually interested in more parts 💕

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utterlyotterlyx · 2 months

Text

White Flag

Cassian x Rhys!Sister Reader

Summary - There had never been a moment where you and Cassian had seen eye to eye, despite his attempts to make peace and make a friend of you, it wasn't something that you wanted.

Warnings - angst, swearing, teasing, back and forth banter, mentions of blood

The Day Court had become your home from the moment you had decided that you couldn't bear to be around Cassian any longer. Luckily, Helion was a good friend of yours even if he wasn't overly fond of your brother and his inner circle. and granted you sanctuary before you had even finished asking him the question.

A part of you didn't even know how it had all started, that outlandish flare of dramatic hatred that passed between you whenever you were too close. Maybe he was threatened by your athletic prowess and strength, maybe you despised how often a new female ended up in his bed

Things had come to an abrupt head when you had punched him square in the nose for making a comment about your mood, asking if your cycle was drawing near. Blood gushed from his nostrils and he stuttered back a few steps, cradling the now broken bone and groaning as blood dripped onto the floor.

"Why is he bleeding?" Rhys had enquired after entering the room, sensing the stench of blood through the closed door of his office.

Cassian stood by the sink, bloody rag clasped around the injured affect, "Because he's an idiot," you replied with astounding calmness, feet propped up on the arm of the chair and your fingers flipping idly through the pages of your book.

"I didn't know that idiocy caused people to just start spontaneously bleeding from the nose."

You had hummed, a smirk pulling at your lips when you noticed Cassian's hazel gaze ripping through you, "I think it's a new phenomenon."

Rhys had usually kept out of your spats, like the rest of the inner circle, they knew your sass was not something to play with, it was unfortunate how Cassian skipped over that fact.

Then there were the countless family dinners that were interrupted, and sometimes ruined, by your joint fire.

"You know, Cassian," his ears pricked upward but his eyes narrowed, he'd like to believe that maybe for once you'd say something nice to him, to stop this feud between you, "Remember that one time I said that you were cool?" He nodded, falling victim to another one of your games as the room held a collective breath, Rhys already pinching the bridge of his nose, "I lied."

Cassian growled, slamming his fork down on the table and standing from his seat, the chair skidding along the wood with his brute force, "I can't help imagining how much more awesome the world would be if your dad had just pulled out."

You were smirking, that shit-eating smirk you always wore when you managed to get him to bite, "Please, save your breath, Cassian," you cooed obnoxiously, popping a honey soaked carrot into your mouth, "You'll probably need it to blow up your next date."

Azriel had choked on his wine and you spared him a sidelong glance, convincing yourself that if Cassian's red face turned one shade darker then he'd surely erupt in flames.

Then there were the missions that Rhys had assigned you and Cassian to, he thought forcing you two to work together would put an end to the nonsense that was your tiff. Azriel was the unlucky one who had to accompany you both so that you didn't wind up killing one another.

An ash arrow hurtled past your face, grazing the tip of your pointed ear, you had dodged its full puncture successfully and heaved out a sigh as you took cover behind a nearby tree, "Oh my gosh, did you see that?! I almost just died!"

Cassian had sauntered past you, sword coated in the blood of your enemies, strands of brown hair falling from his bun, and dirt dusting the side of his face, he grinned at you, "Tragic that you didn't."

Azriel audibly groaned, sick of both of you, it had been three full days of trudging around the outskirts of the winter court, he was freezing, Cassian was making his head pound with his constant complaining, and you were certainly catching a cold.

The Shadowsinger had finally had enough when he had heard you and Cassian arguing at the edge of the clearing, the latter had gone to bathe, to wipe away the blood and dirt from his skin, only to turn around and find that his clothes had been plucked from the bank.

"I didn't do it," you told him through laughs as Azriel approached, Cassian was stood in the water up to his impeccable v line, fists clenched and seething through his teeth as his body shivered from the cold.

"Then why are you laughing?!"

You were leaned against the trunk of a tree, clad in your warm clothing that Rhys had insisted you wear, badass or not, you were still his little sister, "Because whoever did it is a freaking genius."

Rhys had had enough of it. Of all of it.

An ultimatum had been delivered to you both, after being pulled into Rhys' office by the scruffs of your necks by Azriel, you had been told that one of you had to move out of the House of Wind permanently. Though, Rhys' plans of keeping you apart had completely backfired when you had stood up and told him that you were leaving the Night Court altogether, the words shaking the room enough that even Cassian felt guilty that your feud had become so severe that you actually wanted to leave your home court.

"And go where?" Rhys had rose, that power pulsating around him like a heartbeat, a drowning effect that made you all feel dizzy as his eyes darkened and jaw clenched.

"The Day Court," you stated like it was already decided, "Helion has offered me a place within his court and I accepted. I leave tonight."

"Over my dead body!" Rhys rumbled, it was deadly enough for even Azriel's shadows to cower behind him whilst Cassian looked at you bewildered.

Ticking your tongue against the roof of your mouth, you quipped, "Well, go lay down and die then because I'm not going to be told what to do, especially not by you."

"You are my sister. You are a Princess of the Night Court."

"And I am allowed to make my own decisions regarding my life and future," you looked to Cassian and frowned, your eyes dipped with an emotion he'd never seen in you, "And, right now, my life is not here."

That was how you found yourself within Helion's court, doused in white and gold, with tanned skin from the bright never-ending sun, with your toes dipped in sand and the ocean breeze drifting through your hair.

It had been a year since you had left Velaris, and gods, you missed the City of Starlight so much. The Day Court was wonderful, beautiful in its own incredible way, but it wasn't Velaris, your home.

Helion had found you walking along the sandy shores when you should have been readying yourself for the ball starting in a few hours. Rhys and the entirety of your former family were visiting to celebrate the announcement of Feyre's pregnancy, stopping in every court bar Autumn and Spring to spread the joy, to signal a new age for Prythian after all of the torment they had been subjected to.

"I would have thought you'd be ready by now," Helion noted, watching your cream coloured dress float in the breeze, you held your shoes between your fingers and gazed outward to the ocean.

You hummed, "Part of me isn't looking forward to it," you admitted.

The time you had spent in the Day Court had made you softer, had given you a new perspective. There was much more to love in life than arguing and feuding, and you had spent a little over two weeks trying to figure out why you and Cassian could never seem to get along.

Helion draped an arm over your shoulder, his golden crown shimmering in the sunlight that was usually focused on you, focused on making your skin glitter and smile, "It's been a year since you left, I'm sure they're all looking forward to seeing you."

"Or telling me how much easier their lives have been without me," you laughed sadly, slumping into his side softly as he turned to lead you back up to the palace.

"You're a changed woman now, Y/N. I think that more than anything they'll just be happy to see you thriving."

Fuck.

You were so late. So late that it would be noted as disrespectful no matter how much longer you took. Helion was right, you should have been readying yourself much earlier rather than trailing your toes in the sand.

Helion had gone to great lengths to secure you the most spectacular dress anyone had ever seen. A rich gold garment that snaked tightly around your breasts and curved perfectly over your thighs and ass, no sleeves attached to it, but he had gifted you a set of matching arm cuffs and one for your thigh which was exposed by a high slit, as well as ear cuffs which gave a subtle nod to the Day Courts abilities to hone their gifts of invention.

You were practically running down the halls whilst putting your heels on and clasping your necklace around your neck, taking a sharp left which you knew would lead you to a more secluded entrance where you hoped you could slip in unnoticed.

Sliding through the small opening in the wall, you ducked your way along the length of the room, popping up and smoothing your dress out before reaching for the nearest passing tray of flutes, downing half of the liquid to make it seem like you had been there for longer than you had.

"Very smooth, Y/N," A familiar voice purred with amusement laced in his voice, you turned to find Azriel stood behind you, he looked surprised as he took you in, acknowledging the tanned hue and glow that had possessed your skin, your violet eyes seemed a shade or two lighter than Rhys'.

"Az," you breathed, placing your flute down on the table beside you and throwing yourself into his open arms, you both laughed, and he inhaled your scent, salted summer oceans and velvety rose petals.

Pulling back, you smiled up at him brightly, showing all of your teeth. It was like Day had thrown up on you, though, Azriel couldn't deny that gold most certainly agreed with you. Another force jolted into your side and you lifted your arm to find Mor bundled into your ribs, squeezing you tightly and refusing to let go to the point you had to physically unwind her from you.

"I've missed you so much," her bottom lip wobbled as tears gathered in her eyes, you reached for her, wiping the stray droplets with your thumb.

"You know I'm only like ten minutes away from you, right?"

"Not the point, Y/N," a deep voice drawled, it made you shiver, and before you could even properly move to find the owner, you were already gathered up in his arms, "Hello, little sister."

"Hi, Rhys," your eyes found Feyre stood a few feet away from you, a hand cradling her swelling bump, you moved to her, looking down at that bump, "Congratulations, I'm so happy for you."

Rhys couldn't deny that you seemed different, that you had changed since the night you had left Velaris after your argument, after the ultimatum he had wrongfully forced on you. Feyre had told him that you would be fine, that you deserved to see what life could be outside of Velaris, that you would one day come home to them a different woman than the one who had left.

They all watched as Feyre guided your hands to her stomach and you felt your nephew wriggling around and kicking, "Hey, stop kicking your mama," you had bent down to whisper, "She's been through enough," and the little thing within her halted, settling into a comfortable position and Feyre sighed with relief.

Straightening your posture, you took your flute and took another sip, feeling overwhelmed by all you had missed, "I'll be back in a minute," you told them, Rhys moved to follow after you but Feyre stopped him, she knew how much it must have been for you, she was always the understanding one.

Your usual haven was empty when you had reached it, a white stone balcony at the end of a secluded hallway that looked out onto the lapping waves colliding with the mountain upon which the Day Court Palace lay.

A single tear flowed down your face and you heaved in a breath, trying to control yourself by clutching onto the stone railing. Your hair whipped around your face, and the fire lanterns flickered in the breeze.

"I know that we aren't friends, but if you need me to punch somebody out, you know I can and will," the voice you used to grimace at called to you from a metre or so away.

Spinning on your heels, you saw Cassian before you, illuminated by the moonlight so that you could see his unbound hair and muscular chest that peeked out from his undone shirt, "Thanks, but I'm good," you sniffled softly, grabbing your flute and finishing off the sparkling liquid inside of it before placing it back onto the stone ledge.

Cassian frowned at you, his eyes roamed over your face and figure, smiling in approval at your bright eyes and tan skin, and the masterfully tailored dress and accessories you adorned. There was something soft about you.

"It's good to see you, Cassian. You look happy," the admission tugged sadly at that ball of bliss inside of you, the ball that had been enriched and glowed like starlight.

He approached you, stepping out into the night and understanding why you had blindly led yourself there, he had followed you, noticing how you weren't paying much attention to where you were going and simply allowing your feet to carry you there.

"I could be better," he expressed, taking another step closer to you and finding nothing untoward in your expression, no anger, no distaste, nothing but warmth, "It's weird seeing you not being mad with me."

A gentle laugh pushed through you, it crinkled at the corner of your eyes, "If it means anything, I don't think I was ever really mad at you."

"Yeah?" Cassian coaxed, wanting more of an answer from you.

The lanterns scattered light over the side of your body, the small speck of glitter in your jasmine body oil shimmering softly, "I think I was jealous of you if anything," you had turned away from him and propped your elbows up on the stone platform, staring up at the stars longingly, "You're a true Illyrian and I'm not, not since I lost them," your shoulders rolled, and Cassian saw the faint crescent moon scars ripple at the movement, "I think I saw you as reckless, you were making so many stupid moves that could end up with you being hurt or losing your own wings," you flinched at the thought, "I'm sorry."

"I get it," he told you, mirroring your stance and looking upward at the sky which held nothing on Velaris, "I think I'd be the same if I were in your shoes."

Cassian on some level had always known that you harboured some resentment toward them, for their privilege of not having to worry about having their wings clipped. It had broken them all when it had happened to you, that was the moment you'd turned cold toward him, causing more arguments than anything else.

"This court has changed me, I'm not that person anymore. I hope you know that."

Cassian grabbed your wrist as you moved to walk away, pulling you flush to his chest and tensing as his rough fingers ghosted over your cheek, "I never thought you were that person. I tried to fix it, you know, fix whatever I had done wrong. I was the one who made sure you always had enough strawberries in the house and made Feyre swear to take credit for it. I was the one who made sure your bathroom cabinet was always stocked full of bath oils and healing creams, not Mor. That gift three solstices ago you loved so much, the blanket made from the dresses of Selene and your mother, that was me too, not Az."

"But why? We hate each other?"

"I never hated you, the truth couldn't be more opposite," you could feel his heart beating through the silk of his shirt, through the satin on your dress, he grazed his fingers around the cuffs on your ears, "I love you actually, a lot, and I stupidly thought that if all the words I could get from you were teasing jabs then it would be enough, just to hear your voice."

"You love me?"

Cassian grinned, lowering himself and stopping only millimetres away from your lips, sparks of fire sparking between them, "Always have, Princess," when you didn't move away, he closed that gap between you and allowed the world to explode into a kaleidoscope of colour around your forms, you fisted into his shirts, pulling him closer, and his hands found the small of your back, leaning into you.

Panting, you pulled away, opening your eyes to find his hazel spheres pressing into you, his nose touching your own. You laughed, a laugh that send shivers of joy down his spine, "I can't believe we were in love all this time. I swore I would never become this trope."

Cassian chuckled, a rich a deep thing that made you yearn for him, he kissed you again, with more hunger than you had ever felt, "Who doesn't love a good cliché, my formiddable mate?"

Authors Note

I'm happy now x

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