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arc-misadventures · 3 months

Note

What are those

Winter " weiss mom wants me to marry jaune

All the girls who do want to marry him hug winter " welcome sister

Weiss 😱

The Dragons Dowery

Weiss: Ughhh… Gods that was a nightmare…

Yang: Yeah, that was… That was a mess…

Ruby: Going to have some words with, Blake. She… she…

Yang: Has no chill?

Ruby: Yeah, that… How did this all happen? I was too busy trying not to get attacked by crazed faunas that I forgot.

Weiss: Jaune said he eats dust, I wanted to test that out, and then he started belching up fire. Apparently, the quality of, Dust made by the, Schnee Dust Company is considered… cheap to his literal taste.

Yang: Cheap? What do you mean by cheap?

Weiss: I… I don’t know. When he started hacking, and belching out fire, and when he had a chance to speak all he said was that my father was a, ‘cheap bastard.’

Ruby: So, he thinks the dust is of poor quality? What does that mean?

: Mr. Arc considers the, Dust made by the, SDC to be of poor quality. As is it unrefined in his opinion. Therefore it… tastes rancid…

Ruby: Huw? Who are you?

Weiss: Winter; You’re here?!

Winter: Hello, Weiss it’s nice to see you again.

Yang: Is this your aunt, Weiss?

Weiss: Aunt? No this is my older sister, Winter Schnee. Why did you think she was my aunt?

Yang: She’s taller, older, has breasts…

Weiss: Hey!

Yang: She’s the complete opposite to you, so I thought you were family, just not siblings.

Winter: That is a fair assessment.

Weiss: Winter?!

Ruby: Hello! I’m Ruby, Ruby Rose leader of, Team RWBY!

Winter: Ruby of, Team RWBY?

Ruby: Yeah… even I get confused at times too…

Yang: Well, I’m Yang Xiao Long! This little gremlins cool hot older sister, nice to meet you!

Winter: Pleasure. There should be four members, where is the fourth member of your team?

Weiss: Our fourth member is, Blake Belladonna, and she is… somewhere…? I don’t know where she is, last time I saw her she was trying to linch me because she thought I tried to kill, Jaune.

Winter: And… why did she try to do that?

Weiss: Blake is a faunas, and she’s part of the more… fanatic devotees towards my friend, Jaune Arc.

Winter: I suppose it has to deal with him being this supposed, ‘Dragon King?’

Weiss: That’s more, or less it.

Ruby: So, what brings you here, Winter?

Winter: Mother, and I came at the request of your summons.

Yang: Summons?

Ruby: Are you talking about the time, Weiss yelled at your dad to get her diamonds checked?

Winter: Yes, Weiss wanted, Mr. Arc to authenticate the authenticity of our family’s family jewels.

Yang: Was that a correct sentence?

Ruby: The auto correct says so.

Weiss: And, how did the grading go?

Winter: Well… two thirds of them are fake…

Weiss: Eh…?

Winter: A fact that, Mr. Arc proved by eating the fakes…

Ruby: He ate them?

Winter: Even mother’s engagement ring was a fake, to which he proved by eating it.

Yang: Ouch.

Winter: But, based upon what, Mr. Arc said, the person father bought these diamonds from was an infamous swindler specializing in fake diamonds.

Weiss: Oh… Well, I guess that’s okay…

Winter: And, Mom offered the, Schnee Diamond as a dowery for, Jaune.

Weiss: Eh…?

Ruby: The what?

Yang: The Schnee Diamond? The hell is that?

Weiss: It’s our family’s heirloom; My grandfather, Nicolas Schnee found it decades ago during a mining expedition when he was founding the SDC. He named it after our family to be a moniker of our family’s legacy. Ha… you know it’s actually funny…

Ruby: What’s funny?

Weiss: All the diamonds my father acquired were fakes, and yet our grandfather’s diamond has more valuable than anything father could ever hope to acquire.

Winter: Fufufu~! That is quite funny.

Weiss: But, wait… Mom offered it as a dowery… F-For whose hand…?

Winter: …

Winter: M-My hand…

Weiss: W-W-What?!

Yang: Seriously?

Ruby: Congratulations!

Weiss: Ruby?!

Ruby: What?

Weiss: No, I… Okay, no… W-What did you say about all of this? No! What did, Jaune say about all of this, because based upon what he said, I will kill him!

Winter: Well… he was inspecting the, Schnee Diamond when, Mother made this offer. And, well… he seemed highly conflicted.

Yang: Was it because of, Jaune’s obsession of precious stones?

Winter: I would believe so. He seemed genuinely interested in accepting mother’s offer, but he eventually put the diamond back into its case, and shook his head. Jaune then told my mother that while he was genuinely tempted to accept her offer, it would remain my decision to accept this marriage proposal. And, that he wouldn’t accept anything until he learned more about me. Considering at most he knew about was that I was, Weiss’s older sister, and that I was more… full bodied than her. Whatever that meant.

Yang: I think he was talking about how, Weiss is flat, and you have booba.

Weiss: I am not flat!

Winter: Oh… that makes sense…

Ruby: So… you want to marry, Jaune?

Winter: …

Winter: Because of my position in the, Atlas Military I never thought about marriage. But, now that it has been presented before me as it has… Well… I am uncertain of how to react to all of this.

Yang: Probably should get to know, Jaune before you think of marriage then.

Winter: That would be an appropriate option to take. Should I ask him on an outing to get to know him then?

Yang: A date?

Winter: Yes, a date. Do you think he’d prefer dining at the, Chatou Chriteline?

Ruby: They serve food there right?

Winter: It’s a restaurant, the most famous high class one in all of, Vale. Have you not heard of it?

Yang: Lady, do we look like high class, hoty toty kind of gals?

Winter: Well…?!

Weiss: Don’t answer that.

Winter: Very well then…

Ruby: You could ask, Jaune’s girlfriends for help.

Winter: G-Girlfriends…? He already has a girlfriend?

Weiss: He has two actually…

Yang: And, if I play my cards right he’ll have three~!

Winter: You want to become a part of his… His…!!

Yang: Harem? Hell yeah I do~!

Winter: But, why?

Yang: I’m in love with the blond goofball. What more needs to be said?

Winter: You’re in love with him…?

Yang: Yeah. I can give you a list of reasons why, but all that matters really is that I love him.

Winter: Is that really all that matters…?

Yang: …

Yang: What are you asking?

Winter: I’m asking if you love him.

Yang: No, you’re not asking me that.

Ruby: What is she asking you, Yang?

: You should ask, ‘Have you ever been in love before?’

: She’s an, Atlasian. I doubt they understand the concept of love.

Winter: What? Who are you?

: Hello~! I’m Pyrrha Nikos, and I am, Jaune’s, First Chosen.

: Hi there pretty lady~! My name is, Coco Adel, his, Second Chosen.

Weiss: What are you two doing here?

Pyrrha: Yang texted me about the dowry. And, we decided to see who actually managed to get, Jaune’s attention.

Coco: And, I must say, Jaune has impeccable taste~!

Winter: Actually my mother put me up for this whole arranged marriage by offering him a dowery he couldn’t deny, well, barely could deny. This whole thing wasn’t my idea.

Pyrrha: Yeah, he’s been dealing with that a lot lately.

Winter: I’m willing to believe that. But, I must ask, what did the two of you mean by, ‘Chosen?’

Pyrrha: Oh it’s just a name we were given by the faunas because we were the… the… the first that…

Coco: The first girls that, Jaune fucked~!

Pyrrha: Yeah, that…

Winter: Y-You’ve slept with him?

Pyrrha: Yes we have.

Coco: Several times.

Pyrrha: We’ve slept with each other actually.

Coco: The future threesome we will have will be legendary~!

Pyrrha: Hopefully we won’t be walking out with a limp next time.

Coco: You kidding? The limp is the best part!

Yang: How good of a limp is it?

Coco: Why spoil the surprise~?

Weiss: Stop it. I don’t want to hear this. You can have your perverted sex lives all you want. I just don’t want to hear you explain it to me. Also, you broke, Ruby.

Yang: What?

Ruby: Bwhaaaaaaaaaaaaa…

(Thud!)

Yang: RUBY?!

Pyrrha: Oops…

Coco: Ha! Blushing virgin.

Pyrrha: So… are you interested in dating, Jaune, Winter?

Winter: Well… to be honest, as you guessed I never dated before… or, be interested in anyone romantically. So, I don’t know…

Pyrrha: That’s fair, I’ve never been in love until I met, Jaune. And, after we first met I fell head over heels for him on the spot.

Winter: You’ve never been in love until after you met him?

Pyrrha: Nope. I’ve had plenty of famous people, and the like come on to me, but they never sparked anything in me. They were all just trying to use me to their advantage in one form, or the other. But, then I met someone who knew nothing about me, relied on me for who I am, and not who appeared to be. I’m more happy now than I have ever been since I met him, and becoming his girlfriend has made me more happy than I could ever imagine.

Winter: But, are you okay with… sharing him?

Pyrrha: I was hesitant at first, but the benefits of being part of a harem are quite… enticing~!

Winter: They are?

Coco: Ignore her, unless you want to hear something juicy~?

Winter: I would rather not.

Weiss: Me as well.

Yang: Well I would!

Coco: Later, hot stuff. So, tell me; are you interested in dating, Jaune, or would you prefer to brush this all aside, and forget this all happened?

Winter: …

Winter: I am willing to… investigate the possibility of a relationship if that is possible…

Weiss: You can’t be serious, Winter?

Winter: Have… have you ever seen a person, and thought, ‘what if?’

Weiss: I have…

Winter: Did you ever try to find out what, ‘what if’ could become?

Weiss: I have, and honestly I regretted trying to.

Winter: Then would you have regretted trying to, or never trying, Weiss?

Weiss: …

Weiss: Haa… I would have regretted never trying… Go… Go, and see if things could work between you two.

Winter: Thank you, Weiss.

Coco: Then come with us beautiful, and let us tell you all about our little dragon~!

Pyrrha: Little? Coco, honey, what part about, Jaune is little?

Coco: Good point.

Winter: I would prefer to learn more about his personality, habits, interests, and the like, before… before learning about those things.

Coco: Probably for the best if we do so.

Pyrrha: We wouldn’t want to scare her away now doubt we?

Coco: You coming along, Yang? Certainly you’ll want to hear this~!

Yang: Hell yeah I do!

Winter: I’ll see you later, Weiss. Shall we have dinner together later?

Weiss: I would love to, Winter. Have fun you… (Pa-Ping~!) Oh, Jaune just sent me a text.

Weiss: …

Weiss: W-What the hell…?

Pyrrha: What’s wrong, Weiss?

Weiss: ‘Weiss! Save me! Your mom is trying to seduce me, and it’s working! Save me before I do something I will (Slightly?) regret! Help!’

Coco: W-What…?

Pyrrha: Your mother is trying to seduce, Jaune… Why?

Yang: And, it’s working…?

Winter: How would I know?

Ruby: …

Ruby: Uhh… aren’t you going to go save, Jaune?

Weiss: Huw?

Winter: Beg pardon?

Ruby: Jaune just called for your help, are you two going to go save him, or are you going to let your mother sleep with your friend, and your, potential, husband?

Weiss: …

Winter: …

Weiss: Well… It’s, Jaune.

Winter: He seems like a pretty nice guy.

Weiss: And, the message he sent shows he doesn’t want to do it.

Winter: But, Mother is trying to seduce him, and succeeding… somehow.

Weiss: Mom sleeping with my friend just sounds wrong.

Winter: Not as bad as the thought of Mother sleeping with Father…

Weiss: I feel like throwing up just thinking about it…

Winter: Is that why she trying to seduce him, to have… to have a good time?

Weiss: Possibly, Pyrrha, and Coco gloat constantly on how good he is in bed. Maybe, Mom wanted to see that for herself.

Ruby: Uhh… Are you two trying to justify, Jaune sleeping with your mother?

Weiss: Uhh…

Yang: Sounds like you’re gonna let him bang your mom.

Winter: Well…

Ruby: Do you want, Jaune to sleep with your mom…?

Weiss: …

Winter: …

WW: Well…

#rwby #jaune arc #yang xiao long #blake belladonna #pyrrha nikos #weiss schnee #ruby rose #winter schnee #willow schnee #jaune x pyrrha #pyrrha x jaune #jaune x coco #coco x jaune #jaune x winter #winter x jaune #willow x jaune #jaune x willow #rwby arkos #rwby winterknight

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lovingdabeessss · 8 months

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M E M E S FOR R W B Y

Blake going home after being a run away for years reuniting with her family only to burn their huge house down is unendingly funny and what loving caring parents they look over all her mistakes and loved her unconditionally

Then there’s “you lost your arm cause your fucking stupid and you deserved it” taiyang xiao long I love them

Rwbys such a good show

#rwby #yang xiao long #blake belladonna #bumbleby #rwby bumbleby #ruby rose #yang x blake #weiss schnee #qrow branwen #raven branwen #taiyang xiao long #pyrrha nikos #penny polendina

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moistmailman · 12 days

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*yang kicks down JNPR’s door*

Jaune, alarmed: Whoa?! What the hell is going on?!

Yang, angrily: Get dressed vomit boy! We got to kick someone’s ass today!

Nora, immediately up: Hell yeah! Let’s go!

Jaune, baffled: Wait hold on! What’s happening?! Why are you angry?! Wait is that your team behind you!?

Ruby, with her weapon: Yep! We’re going to kick someone’s butt today!

Jaune: Why? Wait, even Blake and Weiss are here too?

Weiss: We need to break some bones, Jaune.

Blake: This honestly has to be done.

Ren: Uh….what’s happening exactly?

Yang, showing Ren her scroll: Look at this shit!

Ren, looking at scroll:……..Nora, where are my weapons?

Nora: Hell yeah! I don’t know what this is about but this is going to be amazing!

Jaune, completely: Okay, this is not like Ren at all. What the hell got all of you guys riled up so bad?

Yang: This! *shows Jaune her scroll*

Scroll: *a website that has a countdown to Pyrrha’s 18th birthday*

Jaune:……is this like the scenario with the twins from full house?

Yang: Yep.

Jaune:…..do you know where this person who made this is?

Yang: Yeah.

Jaune:…….Nora, pack as many grenades you have.

Nora: Woohoo!

Pyrrha, walking in: Hey guys. What are you doing?

Yang: Oh nothing. Just grabbing your boyfriend and your team to do something for your birthday. Catch you around.

Pyrrha, smiling: O-oh, okay. What are you planning?

Yang: We can’t spoil that. It’s a surprise.

Pyrrha, smiling: Right. Okay. Have fun.

Jaune: Oh don’t worry. We will.

#rwby #pyrrha nikos #jaune arc #arkos #Pyrrha x jaune #yang xiao long #nora valkyrie #lie Ren #ruby rose #blake belladonna #weiss schnee

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reashot · 18 days

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Red Like Roses... (It's period 🔴)

Warning: fluffness inside. Also really long.

At Beacon during a more peaceful time.

Pyrrha: Hmmm it's quiet, too quiet.

Ren: I agree. It's never a good sign. We should be ready for something.

Jaune: Ready for what?

Nora: Oh you know usually things never stay quiet for long especially when we're right next door to the main characters.

*yang burst into the room*

Pyrrha: And speaking of the devil.

Yang: Quick hide! *brace the door behind her*

Jaune: Oh Shi- okay gangs we trained for this! Quick initiate Pattern Delta Phi.

Nora: Aye, aye dear leader, let's initiate plan hiding under our bed's like cowards.

JNPR: *Bracing for Impacts.*

*Yang holding the door with all her might*

Ren: Wait what are even hiding from in the first place?

Yang: No time to explain. Here it Comes!

A large sounds resembling explosion came from across the hallway. The door starts to violently shakes and rose petals soon violently burst into the room. Even with Yang putting all her strength into the door. Some rose petals still managed to get inside.

Yang: .... I think we're in the clear now.

Pyrrha: What just happened?

Yang: Eh, promise not to freak out?

Jaune: Okay, I guess...

Yang: Good enough. *shows team JNPR the source of the roses*

Ruby: Huee~ *sniffs* huee~ 😭

Jaune: Ruby?

Ren: It seems to be her.

Pyrrha: Wait. Where are Blake and Weiss?

Nora: Found them. They're buried under all of this Rose petals.

Blake: *coughing up a bunch of petals* Eww I got some of it in my mouth.

Weiss: .... I just saw my grandfather.

Jaune: Okay, can someone now please tell us what is going on....

*Cardin burst into the room*

Cardin: Why the Fuck are there Roses all over the damn hallways!?

Russel: Don't try to lie we know it's coming from team RWBY!

Yang: Wow, wow! False accusation, much?

Dove: Well we can't help it. Because whenever something bad happened It's usually always you four.

Sky: Fucking Main characters shit...

Nora: I know right!

Pyrrha: Nora! Which sides are you on?

Nora: Oops my bad... (I mean, I'm not wrong 😒.)

Ren: *shrugs his head* Nora...

Jaune: Can all of you please stop being aggro for just one second!

You're upsetting Ruby for brother's sake.

Ruby: Wah! Wah! Wah! 😭

Jaune: Also can someone please tell me what just happened?

WBY: *looking at each others*

Yang: *sigh* (I guess I'm the one that should tell everyone.)

How do I gently put this? Ruby is in her special time of the month...

Jaune: Oh...

Cardin: The fuck does that even mean?

Russel: the month?

Dove: I see... (Maybe if I silently nod people will not think I'm dumb.)

Sky: (okay, she had her period. What does that have to with anything?)

Blake: Typical.

Weiss: Can you guys be anymore of a dudebros cliche?

CRDL: Hey!!!!

Yang: Let me put it this way. Every time Ruby has her "special month" her semblance's goes all haywire for some reason.

Jaune: Okay I get the gist of it. Team CRDL go outside and clean the hallway.

Cardin: What! Why the fuck should we clean up their mess?!

Jaune: Because I fucking said so. Now go!

Cardin: Geez... Whatever. C'mon boys, we better clean up team RWBY's mistakes. Again!

*slams door*

Blake: Thanks Jaune.

Weiss: Geez Arc, when did you grow a spine?

Yang: I gotta say Vomit Boy. I never knew you had it in you.

Pyrrha: *blush* (So manly.)

Nora: That's our Jaun-Jaun.

Jaune: Blake, Weiss. Please help Cardin & his team with the clean up outside.

Weiss: What! No way. Why should we help those dunderheads in the first place.

Jaune: Because they're right that the mess was started by your team.

Weiss: I'm sorry, our? For the record it's just Rub...

Blake: We're on it Jaune. C'mon Weiss let's help clean up all this roses. *drags Weiss away*

Jaune: Pyrrha, Ren, Nora. I also want you to go out side and help them.

Pyrrha: I understand Jaune. I will do as you ask.

Nora: Oh c'mon Jaune, why us too?

Jaune: Because they're our friends, Nora.

Nora: Well I'm about to go back to my room... *gets yoinked*

Ren: It's okay Jaune. I will get her to help us.

Nora: *grumble* (Fucking Main characters....)

Jaune: Thanks Ren. And Yang I want you to stay and find Ruby's "hygiene" products.

Yang: Wow, wow! Settle down cowpoke. I don't think you being a man is qualified to be the one to help with Ruby's "issue."

Jaune: I have seven Sisters...

Yang: Sweet brothers in heaven!

Uh, I take that back you're clearly overqualified.

At least I don't have to help clean up. But what're you going to do Jaune?

Jaune: I'm going to go back to my room to make a tea for Ruby.

A few minutes later.

Jaune: Here you go Ruby. A sweet herbal tea with plenty of honey and sugar.

Ruby: ... *sniffs* Thank you Jaune. 😢

*sips*

Jaune: It's okay Ruby you don't have to thank me.

Ruby: But I caused so much problems for everyone. *sniffle*😞

Jaune: *headpat*

There, there Ruby it's okay that what's friends are for. And you didn't troubled me one bit. In fact I'm happy to be of use to you. It reminds me that I'm still useful to someone.

Ruby: Jaune please don't think like that. You always were important to everyone.

Jaune: *kiss forehead*

It's nice of you think that Ruby. But I'm not. I'm not special like you. You're destined for great thing while I'm.... Just me.

Ruby: 0-0

Jaune: What's the matter... Ohhh, ohhh no. I'm so-so sorry Ruby I didn't realize that... I usually did that to my little sister whenever she's sad.

Ruby: *blush*

I-I don't mind it at all Jaune. It's just that if you want to do it to me again a little heads up would be nice. 😖

Jaune: I'm so-so sorry Ruby I promise that I... Wait, what do you mean by again?

Ruby: Uhh....

Yang: *clears throat*

I seems to have interrupted something here.

Jaune: Y-Yang!

Ruby: Sis!

Yang: Look Rubes I don't need to say this but remember what dad said. No boys. And Jaune please don't take this the wrong way but please for your sake please don't get any idea with Ruby. It will not end well for you.

Jaune: O-of course. I will never-ever think of Ruby like that. We're just friends after all.

Ruby: Friends... 😭

*starts crying*

Jaune: Oh, what's the matter Ruby?

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zexapher · 2 months

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A Fond Farewell

With Rooster Teeth beginning its draw down, an era has truly passed. The company has lasted more than two decades. 18 (soon 19) seasons, five mini-series, and cameos and references in Halo itself for Red vs Blue. 9 volumes alongside two movies, a chibi series, Ice Queendom, and its own games for RWBY. And so much more beyond that, RT Shorts, podcasts, Achievement Hunter, The Slow Mo Guys, and on and on. That’s a lot, especially for a little startup launching off a web series. I was listening to “This Isn’t Goodbye, It’s See You Later” by Richie Branson while I was making this little memorial post. It’s a song made for another Rooster Teeth show, Camp Camp, and I have to say it’s some very appropriate music for this moment.

The day the news dropped, I wrote up a little comment in response to Rooster Teeth beginning its closing down, and I thought I’d share some of it here. I grew up with Rooster Teeth, a bit of a cheesy line I know, but it’s true for a lot of us. I was just a little kid way back in the early 2000’s, a kid that liked Halo (a game I didn’t even own for a long time, but played at a friend’s house), and was just getting curious about what I could find about it on YouTube. And that brought me into the world of music videos and skits and montages made for that little game I liked.

From there, I discovered a small web series called Red vs. Blue. I’d sneak onto my folk’s computer to watch it since they didn’t appreciate the language, and in doing so I dipped my toes into the wide world of the internet for the first time. As I got older, I eventually hopped onto Reddit for its discussion threads of Rooster Teeth’s latest show, RWBY. I began my first in-depth fandom interactions, speculating about the show, enjoying the flood of fanart, even got into fanfics about RWBY (those fics have had their own amazing evolution alongside the show) and to this day it’s the fandom I’ve followed and bookmarked the most fics from. All the while I was making friends and bonding with people through the community this company and its shows have created.

Watching the shows and people grow over time was, looking back on it, just like watching myself grow. I was never really a social media/internet kind of guy, until it came to Rooster Teeth. The shows, shorts, podcasts, it all opened up a whole new world for me. It’s sad to see it coming to a close, and I hope it gets picked up in the future. But I’m happy, too, that it’s left so much behind, and had such an impact on me. It’s left me with so many good memories. Rooster Teeth, its shows, those that created and worked on it, and above all the community around it will always have a special place in my heart.

So, I bid a fond farewell to Rooster Teeth and its crew, and anyone who may drift away from the fandom in time. I wish you all the best.

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blake-me-up-inside · 6 months

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I saw this meme suggested to me from the RWBY Republic Facebook page and now you have to see it too. (Could not find a source though.)

#reposting this under this blog #rwby #jaune arc #pyrrha nikos #cinder fall #ruby rose #weiss schnee #blake belladonna #yang xiao long #penny polendina #jessica cruz #arkos #white knight #bumbleby #rwby memes #rwby shitpost #justice league x rwby

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linkman447 · 5 months

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The married life (Pyrrha)

Jaune: honey I’m home

Pyrrha comes out in an apron: welcome home my big strong husband

They kiss

Jaune: so are our friends here yet

Pyrrha: oh ren and Nora say they’ll be here in about 3 hours

Jaune: what about Ruby, Yang, Blake, and Weiss

Pyrrha has a forced smile: oh sorry honey they said they can’t make it

Flash back

Pyrrha and team rwby are sitting in an interrogation room with a table between them

Pyrrha: so you hussies wanna come in my home as steal my husband

Ruby: N-No we just-

Pyrrha slammed a folder on the table with the title “our plan to steal jaune”

Yang: god damn it ruby why did you make that

Blake: much less leave it where someone can find it

Weiss: well we want what you have and we will get it

Pyrrha: oh really

2 hours later

The girls of rwby are on the ground battered and bruised

Pyrrha: now I must get home my “husband” will be home soon

Flashback ends

Pyrrha: it’s a real shame

Jaune: ya and Ruby wanted to show me something. Oh what ever lets have a nice winter holiday

Pyrrha: oh I have an idea we have 3 hours till ren and Nora show up so…

She grabs his hand and places it on her chest

Pyrrha: let’s start on my holiday present

Jaune: YES

He picks her up and rushes to their bedroom

Pyrrha: (I hope those bitches learned their lesson

#jaune arc #rwby pyrrha nikos #jaune arc x pyrrha nikos #rwby arkos #yang xiao long #blake belladonna #ruby rose #weiss schnee #married life au

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vulture115 · 6 months

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Engineer!Jaune (Based on my ask to @howlingday) Ruby: YOU WHAT?!

Jaune: Yeah, just like my Uncle Dell Conagher-Arc said: “Hey look, buddy. I'm an engineer — that means I solve problems. Not problems like 'What is beauty?' because that would fall within the purview of your conundrums of philosophy. I solve practical problems.”

Ruby: BUT YOU DELIBERATELY CUT YOUR OWN ARM!!!

Jaune: Yeah? So did my uncle

Ruby: JAUNE!!!

Jaune: What?! It’s the only way to make sure Nora or you fires my Plasma guns!!!

Ruby: But you didn’t need to cut your own arm!!!

Yang: I heard screaming, what’s wrong?

Ruby: JAUNE CUT HIS OWN ARM!!!

Yang: WTF JAUNE?! I KNOW YOU’RE CRAZY AFTER ALL OF THIS 3 YEARS, BUT THIS IS TOO FAR!!!

Blake: Yang, honey, please don’t scream *Sees Jaune’s arm* What happened to your arm

Ruby: HE CUT HIS OWN ARM OFF!!!

Blake: WHAT?! PLEASE TELL ME YOU’RE JOKING

Ruby: I’M NOT!!!

Weiss: WOULD ALL OF YOU PLEASE SHUT UP?! PLEASE STOP SCREAMING!!! *Spots Jaune’s arm* What happened to your arm?

Blake: He cut it himself

Weiss: YOU WHAT?! THAT IS PREPOSTEROUS!!!

Jaune: I did.

Weiss: ….

*Knocks on the door*

Jaune: Who is it? *Opens the door and sees Uncle Dell*

Ruby: Who is it Jaune?

Jaune: *Excited* It’s my uncle! Uncle Dell? What’s up!!!

Uncle Dell: Hey kid, heard you cut your own arm. Is it true?

Jaune:*In a slight Texan accent* I did

Uncle Dell: As i expected from a 10Y/O kid who obtained 11 PhDs

RWBY: He’s what?!

Uncle Dell: Yup, he sure did. *Speaks back to Jaune* Hey kid, who’s these fine ladies? Is one of them is your girlfriend?

Jaune: *Still in the same accent* No uncle, all of them are girlfriends and girlfriends. And one of them is in a polyamorous relationship. *Points to Ruby* That’s Ruby *Points to Weiss* Her girlfriend Weiss *Points to Blake and Yang* The emo one (Blake: HEY!) is Blake and the Yellow one is Yang. They’re the one whose on a polyamorous relationship.

Uncle Dell: With who?

Pyrrha: *In the door* Blake! Yang! Can you help me with my groceries please? *Sees Jaune* Jaune!!! *Proceed to run at full speed to hug Jaune*

Jaune: Whoa! *falls into his own back

Pyrrha: We’ve missed you so much!!!*Felt something metallic*… What happened to your arm Jaune?

Yang: *Helping Pyrrha with the groceries* He cut his own arm

Pyrrha: HE’S WHAT?!

Yang: That’s not even the most shocking part, he also got 11 PhDs.

Pyrrha: *Staring at Jaune and Dell talking to each other and seeing him gives an Australium to Jaune*…. No wonder he’s always the top in every class except combat.

*After helping the girls with the groceries, maybe around 5-10 minutes*

Jaune: Welp, We’ll talk later Uncle Dell, we’re going to have a cookout and those groceries won’t lift by themselves.

Uncle Dell: Yeah, we’ll talk later about the sentry improvements. Got a call from work. Y’know, the usual RED and BLU stuff.

Jaune: No problem uncle, how about we meet at our usual bar?

Uncle Dell: Sure thing bud, say the time and date and i’m on my way. With the rest of the crew ofcourse.

Jaune: Heavy still pissed at me for beating him in an arm wrestling huh?

Uncle Dell: I mean, you’d rarely sees a 15 Y/O kid beating a 6’5 400 Pounds man with Aura in arm wrestling contests. *Chuckle* Well i gotta go *Gets in his 1966 Chevy Pickup*

Jaune: Sure Uncle Dell. Be sure to not be dead

Uncle Dell: The machine’ll revive me kiddo *Dabs Jaune perfectly* Bye kid. *Drives off*

Jaune: *Chuckles* Bye uncle Dell! *Waves his metallic arm*

The girls: *Speaking together in a dark tone* You got some explaining to do. Jaune~.

Jaune: Oh… shit….

#Engineer!Jaune AU #jaune arc #rwby #TF2 #tf2 engineer #ruby rose #yang xiao long #pyrrha nikos #weiss schnee #dell conagher #whiterose #bumbleby #greek fire #purrha #Yang x blake x pyrrha #Cicada killer wasp

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rocknroll7575 · 9 months

Note

Volume 1 RWBY & JNPR VS. (No Helmet) Rusted Knight.

What will their reactions be to see Vomit Boy in Rusted Armor.

(Bonus: V1!Cardin Winchester VS. The Rusted Knight)

V1. Ruby: *Sheathes Crescent Rose* Jaune!? Why are you so old!?

Jaune (RK): *walks on the stage with his broken sword* It's a long story Ruby... one I don't think your ready for

V1. Ruby: Jaune...

XXX

V1. Weiss: *Uses Glyphs to skate onto the stage* Arc...? Impossible!

Jaune (RK): *Jumps off Juniper and lands on stage* It's me, and yes, I am the Rusted Knight

V1. Weiss: The Rusted Knight!? But... how!?

XXX

V1. Blake: *Swings and lands on stage* Jaune!? You're the rusted Knight!?

Jaune (RK): *walks on the stage with his broken sword* I know, surprised?

V1. Blake: Yeah... all my fanfictions were about you!?

XXX

V1. Yang: *Lands on stage with her semblance active* VB!? What happened to you

Jaune (RK): *Jumps off Juniper and lands on stage* Life happened Yang, something that will soon hit all of you

V1. Yang: What does that mean?

XXX

V1. Pyrrha: *summons her spear and shield* Jaune? What... what happened to you...

Jaune (RK): *walks on the stage with his broken sword* Don't worry about me... its yourself who's in danger

V1. Pyrrha: What do you mean? Why am I in danger?

XXX

V1. Jaune: *Unsheathes Crocea Mors* What happens to us in the future? Do we get be heroes

Jaune (RK): *Walks on stage with Crocea Mors at the ready* If you call killing a friend for the greater good being a hero... then yeah, we're heroes...

V1. Jaune: *Shocked* Wh-What!? No! You're lying

XXX

V1. Ren: *twirls guns as he walks on stage* Jaune? What happened to you? Why are you like this?

Jaune (RK): *Jumps off Juniper and lands on stage* Because I failed Ren... I failed everyone

V1. Ren: Jaune...

XXX

V1. Nora: *Falls onto the stage covered in electricity* Is that really you, fearless leader?

Jaune (RK): *Jumps off Juniper and lands on stage* Who else could I be, Nora?

V1. Nora: What happened to you...?

XXX

V1. Cardin: *Slams mace on the ground* Arc? What the hell happened to you?

Jaune (RK): *Jumps off Juniper and lands on stage* Cardin? I never thought I'd be glad to see you

V1. Cardin: Can't blame ya, I was a jerk...

#rwby #rusted knight #ruby rose #weiss schnee #blake belladonna #yang xiao long #jaune arc #pyrrha nikos #lie ren #nora valkyrie #cardin winchester #rwby x mk #mk intros #rwby vol1 #greenlight volume 10

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ludibriadormonoteista · 9 months

Text

Edgy Teen Phase

*Ruby and Jaune are seen chilling in RWBY’s room*

Jaune: *On his Scroll* “Whoa! Haven’t seen this one in a while.”

Ruby: “Hm? Haven’t seen what?”

Jaune: “Oh, it’s a silly music clip that just popped up on my recommendations. I used to listen to it all the time during my edgy teen phase.”

Ruby: *Snort* “You had an edgy teen phase?”

Jaune: “Sure did. Everyone has it, Ruby. Afterall, you can only be fourteen once.”

Ruby: “Well, I’m fifteen and I never had an ‘edgy teen phase’.”

Jaune: “Huh… Are you sure you’re not in your edgy teen phase still?”

Ruby: “WHAT?!” *Punches his arm* “D-Don’t even joke about that! Where did ya get that idea?!”

Jaune: “Ow!” *Rubs his arm* “It makes sense though! For example, you dress mostly in black and red.”

Ruby: “So what if I do?”

Jaune: “That’s like, the edgiest color palett known to man!”

Ruby: “I just happen to like these colors, okay?!”

Jaune: “You also wear a hood on top of it. Hoods are pretty edgy.”

Ruby: “Oh, so you’re saying the original Little Red Riding Hood is also edgy?”

Jaune: “Maybe? I mean, have you seen those Old-War German stories that inspired nowadays fairy-tales? That stuff is hardcore.”

Ruby: “Listen here, mister… SHUT UP! So, you’re gonna watch the video or not?”

Jaune: “I wasn’t planning to, but… Eh, why the hell not? Tell you what, why don’t we watch it together? We can poke fun at it and have some laughs.”

Ruby: “That’s the smartest thing you said all day.” *Sits on his lap* “First one to cringe pays for the cookies!”

Jaune: “You’re on!” *Hits play*

-Later-

*_WBY & _NPR arrive*

Yang: “And then she said: Now that’s a kata-”

Blake: “You already told that story twenty times on the way here.”

Yang: “It’s hard to come up with filler conversation, okay?” *Slightly opens door* “Whoa, why is it so dark in there?”

Nora: “Someone hasn’t been paying the electric bill.”

Weiss: “…Oh, har har. You can all stop looking at me now.”

Blake: “As intriguing as this is, there’s a bookmarker with my name on it, so…”

Ren: “Hang on. Something’s happening inside.”

*They all peek in*

Jaune with his hood on and a flashlight under his chin:

How many fools can I kill today? Too many to count, don't get in my~ way

Ruby with her hood on and a flashlight under her chin:

I shoot a mofo in the throat with my bow

In unison:

Tomahawk chop is my death blow

Weiss: *Whispering* “…What am I watching?”

Yang: *Starts filming* “I’ll tell you what you’re watching: Dad’s next Nondescript Winter Holiday present.”

Pyrrha: *Sigh* “It’s my edgy teen phase all over again.”

BNR: “Same.”

#rwby #ruby rose #jaune arc #lancaster #rwby lancaster #ruby x jaune #weiss schnee #blake belladonna #yang xiao long #nora valkyrie #pyrrha nikos #lie ren #Connor is best assassin fukn fite me

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superiorsturgeon · 8 months

Text

Some Time Alone

Rusted Knight DILF Jaune: *removes his helmet and reveals his face to RWBY* Hey guys! 😁

RWBY: 😧

Ruby: Jaune! What happened to you?

Blake: How did you become the Rusted Knight?

Yang: Why do you look so…

Weiss: Mature~! 😍

Jaune: Well, it’s a long story. Let me tell it to you while we walk back to my house!

At Jaune’s house…

Jaune: …and I spent the next few decades waiting for you to arrive! 😁

Yang: You’re honestly a lot happier about all of this than I would’ve thought.

Jaune: Well, it’s been a long time to wait, but hey, at least I have Pyrrha here to keep me company, so I’m actually doing great! 🥰

RWBY: ?!

Ruby: Oh no…Jaune’s losing his mind…!

Weiss: He must be seeing things! Pyrrha died back at Beacon!

Blake: Poor Jaune…

Yang: Uh…Jaune, you know that Pyrrha’s not-

????: …Jaune? Are you coming to bed or not? I’m waiting~! 💕

Ruby: Who’s that?

Tarnished Spartan MILF Pyrrha: *steps out of bedroom in her bathrobe and pushes a gray-streaked lock of hair back* Jaune, who are you talking to-Oh! Hello again!

RWBY: 😱

Weiss: MATURE!! 😳

Jaune: 😊

#rwby #jaune arc #pyrrha nikos #arkos #jaune x pyrrha #ruby rose #weiss schnee #yang xiao long #blake belladonna #jaune arc x pyrrha nikos #rusted knight #tarnished spartan #Jaune's all better now #Weiss pls chill

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arc-misadventures · 7 months

Text

Fathers Day Letter

Beacon Academy lunchroom, and everyone is looking over the mail they have each recently received.

Ruby: Ohh! Dad sent me something!

Yang: Me too, wonder what he sent me.

Weiss: Oh? My sister sent me a package, I wonder what’s in it.

Pyrrha: My mom sent me a care package~!

Ren: I got a parcel in the mail: I hope it’s those tea leaves I ordered.

Nora: My magazine is in! YES!!!

Blake: Yes! The latest book in the, ‘Ninja’s of Lust’ series!

Ruby: COOKIES!!! He sent me cookies! Yayyyyy! (Nom,nom,nom,nom!)

Yang: Save some for later, Rubes. Now lets see… Awesome! He sent me the bike polish I use for, Bumblebee! I forgot it, when we left! I’m gonna have some fun spreading you on tonight~!

Weiss: Oh? ‘Dear sister, I lost a gentlemen’s wager, and they requested several signed copies of your latest album. Since I assume this would be no problem, would you kindly sign these copies, and send them back to me. Love, Winter.’ This is rather… unexpected.

Yang: Are you going to refuse her request?

Weiss: No, this should only take an hour to do. What did you get, Pyrrha.

Pyrrha: Cookies, chocolate, and some beauty products from home, nothing much really. Did you get your tea, Ren?

Ren: Yep; I’m looking forward to having these later.

Yang: What magazine did you order, Nora.

Nora: ‘Pancakes Illustrated’

Weiss: Excuse me?

Yang: That’s not what I think it is, is it?

Ren: Well…

Nora: Ohh yeah~! Let that butter run off you, you naughty girl~!

Yang: UHHHH?!

Pyrrha: Don’t ask.

Yang: Okay…?

Blake: And, you say I’m the depraved one…

Ruby: Isthat… (Gulp!) Is that a father’s day card, Jaune?

Yang: Wait, what?

Weiss: Excuse me?

Pyrrha: You’reafather?!

Nora: I’m an aunt?!

Jaune: Oh, yeah. It’s just a little joke card really. My sisters see me as the father figure they never had, so they send me this as family joke.

Pyrrha: Oh thank gods…

Yang: Oh, so what’s the joke, I bet it’s pretty funny!

Jaune: Well… It’s kinda funny… in the shear ridiculousness of it.

Blake: How ridiculous is this?

Jaune: Well, lets start at the beginning: My family consists of me, my older sisters, Saphron, and Thiriana. My mother, Juniper, my grandfather, Álkimos, and lastly my father, Evinder, or simply, Evin.

Pyrrha: I thought you said you were an only child?

Jaune: I’m the only son, I have lots of sisters though.

Pyrrha: Oh okay. Please continue.

Jaune: So when I was three years old, my father disappeared while out travelling. We had no idea what happened, my mother was so distraught that she begged my grandfather to go find him. So, my grandfather who is a, Huntsman, who also loves his daughter very much, went out to find him.

Ruby: Did he find him?

Jaune: No. He spent two years trying to find him, but he found no trace of him. However, a year later, when I had turned five, my grandfather was in another town a ways away from where I lived. Then town was attacked by some, Grimm. Luckily there was only one casualty. That one casualty was where things got interesting!

Weiss: What happened?

Jaune: Well, my grandfather went to the woman, her name is, Isleen, a snake faunas with beautiful blue, and gold tipped scales. And, she had three daughters: Luna, and a pair of twins named, Angela, and Janette, ages two, and one. And, she told him that her husband was missing, my grandfather asked what his name was, and she said his name was, Gregory. She then showed him a photo of him, and my father was left gobsmacked! He had a new hair cut, and a beard, but he knew very well what the face of his ‘deceased’ son-in-law looked like.

Yang: Wait, what?!

Weiss: He wasn’t dead?!

Blake: And, he abandon your mother?!

Ren: Along with you, and your sisters?!

Pyrrha: And, started a new family with another woman?!

Jaune: Yep. He wasn’t happy to say the least. Then, my grandfather showed, Isleen a photo of my mother, me, and my sisters, and my recently ‘deceased’ father, Evinder. She did not take it well that her husband was not who he said he was, and seeming abandoned her, like he had done with my mother really, really hurt her. So, my grandfather decided to take her, and her kids back home. To live with me, and the rest of my family.

Blake: Was your mom okay with that?

Jaune: Eventually. She didn’t like that her father brought some random woman, and her kids home with him. But, she understood why grandfather invited them to stay with us. I mean, learning that their husband was living under false identities, and had married two separate woman, and had kids with them, and abandoned both of them. They had plenty of things in common together to bound with one another.

Yang: I’ll bet they did.

Jaune: Shortly after that, my grandfather was called to deal with a missing person report in another town. So he went there, and this woman asked if he could find her missing husband…

Weiss: Don’t tell me. He looked like your father?

Jaune: Same hair cut, and beard, just with thick rimmed glasses.

Blake: Given years apart you’d think he’d come up with a better disguise.

Jaune: Yeah… about that… The wife, a silver fox faunas who’s name is, Evenora, had two daughters with, ‘Stavon,’ their names were, Luna, and Carol.

Weiss: Hold old were they?

Jaune: One, and two years old. I know that doesn’t sound like much, but you need to understand this… Isleen, and her family lived about two weeks away from, Evenora, and her family.

Yang: I don’t get it.

Blake: So he didn’t go far this time when he faked his death again.

Ren: Wait, they lived two weeks of travel apart? Oh gods…

Pyrrha: What is it, Ren?

Ren: He was married to both of them at the same time… He was double timing them wasn’t he?

Jaune: Bingo bango bongo! You are right on the money, Ren!

Ruby: Wait, what?!

Weiss: You’re kidding me right?!

Jaune: Nope: He was double timing the two of them by being the cheating bastard that he was. He was a travelling sales men, so he two two weeks to travel between the two villages, stay for a month with one wife, then when back, and lived with his other wife for a month. And, he did that for over two years

Yang: You’re fucking kidding me?!

Jaune: Oh gods I wish.

Nora: What happened next?

Jaune: Well, my grandfather showed her photos of the two other families he abandoned. Needless to say she was absolutely devastated by this news. Now, my grandfather would have stay with her, and consoled her through this, but he was only missing for about three days. He needed to find him before the trail turned cold. So he hunted him. Now you gotta understand my grandfather is a vindictive monster; he was absolutely pissed when he learned he abandoned my mother, and, Isleen, he was fucking furious when he learned learned he did it a third time to, Evenora. So, he was after him like a bloodhound.

Weiss: Please, pleassssse tell me he found the cheating bastard, and made him payyyyyyy!

Blake: You’re really getting into this.

Weiss: This fucker makes all the emotional abuse my dad put me, and my family through feel like school yard bullying.

Yang: Same. My mom may have abandoned me at birth, but this. This is fucked up!

Nora: I can relate with them…

Ruby: You can?

Nora: My mom abandoned me. So, know how it feels when a loved one abandons you…

Pyrrha: She what?!

Jaune: It’s okay, Nora, we’re here with you know, and we’re not going anywhere.

Nora: Thanks, Jaune.

Jaune: My pleasure. Anyway, my grandfather did find him, or more precisely what was left of him.

Blake: Did a, Grimm get him?

Weiss: Fuck yeah!

Yang: That sounded so wrong coming from you.

Jaune: Well, yes he was dead. But, I’m not sure if a, Grimm did him in.

Ren: What makes you say that?

Jaune: My grandfather is an extremely experienced huntsman. He’s seen plenty of peoples corpses that are the result of a, Grimm attack.

Weiss: So you think he killed him, and made it look like a, Grimm attack?

Jaune: That, or my grandmother got to him. She is really protective of her family, and can really, really, really hold a grudge. She’s still upset with her ex… Anywho, after he, ‘found’ his corpse he took, Evenora, and her kids with him back to our home.

Ruby: Where they live as a happy family all together!

Jaune: Eventually.

Weiss: Let me guess, they had some difficulties getting along together?

Jaune: Mom was upset as it was that he left her, and three kids all alone, but even more so that he did that to two other woman, and their five kids too. She was absolutely angry from all of this. Sadly she took out her anger, indirectly mind you, on them which was making them angry in turn at each other even more so.

Pyrrha: And, what about you, how did you handle all of this.

Jaune: Well, I never really understood what my dad did until I was older. But, I was happy. I wasn’t the youngest child, and I now had five younger sisters! i was the older brother I always wanted to be. My, Mom thanked me for being the older brother that I was, loving each of them unconditionally as I did. Because I did this, it showed my mother that she was being petty, and mean to the other woman for things they did not do. So, she managed to fix, and even improve her relationship with the other mothers. They used to sleep in three different rooms, then after me, and my older sisters found the three of them in the same bed, all cuddling against one another they started sleeping like that ever since. Now I’m a brother with two older sisters, and five younger sisters, a loving grandfather, and grandmother, with three loving mothers, and I couldn’t be happier.

Blake: That sounds beautiful.

Pyrrha: I’m glad this had a happy ending b

Yang: That sounds lovely, but how does this relate to you getting a fathers day card?

Jaune: Oh, because I was the ‘man of the house’ I tended to look over, and protect my younger siblings. So I became the ‘father figure’ they never had.

Ruby: Awww~! That so sweet!

Pyrrha: You are a really nice brother, Jaune.

Jaune: Thanks. But, sadly this resulted in all of my younger siblings in developing father/brother complexes with me, just like it did with, Nora…

Yang: Pfft! Hahahaha! You’re right, Jaune; in the shear ridiculousness of it all, that is quite funny.

Ruby: Your family is quite something, Jaune.

Blake: I could make so many stories with this as a basis…

Yang: Settle down, Bla…? Wait, Nora? Do you have a brother/father complex with, Jaune too?

Weiss: You’re kidding me, right?

Nora: Y-Yeah… I do…

Pyrrha: What?! How did that happen?!

Nora: I couldn’t help it! He runs his fingers through my hair to comfort me when I have nightmares, and he gives me goodnight kisses on my forehead before I go to sleep. It’s really nice.

Yang: Do you seriously do that?

Ren: Yeah, he does that almost every night, it’s really nice to see.

Pyrrha: How come I’ve never seen this before?

Ren: You’ve been asleep whenever he does it.

Pyrrha: But… I… Jaune! I want goodnight kisses too!

Jaune: Okay.

Pyrrha: Yes!

Jaune: So, anything else you guys wanna ask about my families.

Blake: Yeah, so, Jaune, if you’re in the mood, do you want to pretend to be my daddy, and give me a good spanking because I’ve been a bad girl?

RWYJNPR: …

Jaune: No.

Blake: Naww…

Weiss: How about me instead?

Jaune: Excuse me what?

#rwby #jaune arc #yang xiao long #blake belladonna #pyrrha nikos #nora valkyrie #weiss schnee #ruby rose #lie ren #jaune x weiss #weiss x jaune #blake x jaune #jaune x blake #jaune x pyrrha #pyrrha x jaune #rwby whiteknight #rwby knightshade #rwby arkos

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