#abusive therapy cw

[cuubism]

i went to physical therapy for my stupid broken arm so as is my legal obligation i HAD to make ship content about it. everything is ship content that's how it is

cw injury, referenced abusive relationships

--

Hob's had plenty of clients come to physical therapy who clearly don't want to be there. Plenty of others who are reasonably frustrated by the work and time involved in regaining functioning after an injury. But this is the first time he's just had someone be... quiet. Resigned.

Dream sits with his hand cradled to his chest, barely speaking, only answering when Hob asks a direct question. He's reluctant to give Hob his hand when Hob asks if he can look at it, like he thinks Hob's grip is a bear trap that will snap down and crush the bones like whatever had done so the first time. Hob still doesn't know what that was. All he knows is the bones have been realigned and healed over but the dexterity in his hand still isn't right. That was what Dream had said, in the first spark of passion Hob had heard from him. It's not right.

But he does eventually give his hand over. His bones are so fine and delicate, and each movement hesitant. Cautious. Hob tests the flexibility. The strength. Dream is right, it's not where it should be. He still doesn't know what happened.

"I won't make you tell me if you really don't want to," Hob says gently. "But it is important to know how it happened to make sure we rehab it the right way. Did you get it caught in something? I've seen guys come in with machine injuries like that."

Nothing about Dream suggests "person who works with heavy machinery." But who knows. Hob will try not to stereotype.

"No," Dream says quietly, looking down and away from his hand like he can't bear to see it. "I. I am an artist. My ex... he felt that I cared more about my art than about him. Perhaps I did. And he was... frustrated. I suppose."

Hob can put the rest of the pieces together in his mind. "Jesus," he breathes, and Dream flinches.

"I have an unfortunate ability to involve myself with such people," he says.

"No, it's not your fault," Hob says automatically.

Dream narrows his eyes. "You presume to know that?"

Hob raises his hands in surrender. "Never mind. I won't pry." He's not Dream's therapist. His job is to help him with his hand, not... whatever else is going on in his life.

He takes Dream's hand carefully between both of his own again. Presses down lightly on his knuckles. "So. Crushed. Like that?"

Dream nods. Hob still doesn't know all the details, but he's imagining a boot going down hard on the top of Dream's hand. The thought is sickening.

"Can you fix it?" Dream asks, like he doesn't dare to hope.

"Well, you already had it repaired surgically, yeah?" Hob says. This strikes him as a bit of good luck--hand fractures are not simple--but he doesn't want to undercut Dream's confidence even further by saying so. He's usually pretty good at reading his clients, and he's already sensing that Dream is holding onto his determination to be here at all by the barest thread. Best to build him up as much as possible. "So it's just a matter of strengthening the muscles again."

He's fairly confident he can get him back to a usual level of functioning with it. The question is whether he can return him to the specific level of dexterity he needs for his art. He doesn't say that. Not yet.

Finally, he gets the tiniest of smiles out of Dream. He's really lovely when he smiles.

(He's pretty when he doesn't smile, too. Hob would have to be blind not to notice it.)

"So," Hob says. "Let's look at the current range of motion, yeah?"

Dream tilts his head. "Did you not already do so?"

"For regular motion, yeah. But I want to see where it's impacting your drawing."

Dream draws his hand back, looking uncertain.

"Come on." Hob hands him a pen and paper. "Show me. I promise I know nothing about art. If it's not up to your usual standards, I'm not going to be able to tell."

Finally, Dream takes the pen, and starts sketching.

Hob watches, noting the way his hand trembles, his uneven grip on the pen. Notes how quickly he gets demoralized when it doesn't turn out the way he wants. Hob can make out what he's written and drawn, but it's clear from Dream's expression that it's far from how it's supposed to be.

"This is just a starting point," Hob reminds him. He has a feeling he's going to be doing a lot of those sorts of reminders with Dream; he does not seem to find optimism easy.

Then again, if someone who supposedly loved him had hurt him like that, Hob would probably find optimism a bit difficult, too.

Finally, Dream drops the pen, clearly frustrated. "I have tried to paint at home, too. It has not turned out any better. You should throw those away." He gestures to the sketches. "They are terrible."

"Nah, I'm gonna keep them," Hob says, and puts them in his folder. "For comparison later." It could also partially be because he finds Dream's drawings of cats, imperfect as they are, charming. Sue him.

"As you insist," Dream says.

Hob gives him documentation on some other exercises he can do at home. Tries to think through what might make him feel better with his art. It feels, somehow, so important to make him feel better.

"At home, go easy on trying to use a pen, or paintbrush or whatever, it's hard on your hand," he finally says. "But you probably want to get back to your art, so-- okay, don't make fun of me if this is stupid."

Dream just raises an eyebrow, waiting.

Maybe Hob should try to learn more about art before he gives advice. Nevertheless, he forges on. "Holding a pen is tough, but if you wanted to like, finger paint or something? That would probably be fine. Might be good for flexibility, even."

"Finger paint," Dream repeats, enunciating each word.

"I told you not to make fun of me if it was stupid."

Dream smiles, just a small thing, like he finds Hob ridiculous but in a charming way. Good enough, Hob figures.

"Very well," Dream says at last. "I will take your advice."

Dream simply walking out had felt like a distinct possibility, so Hob will take this as a win.

"Hey," he says later, catching Dream for a moment as he's checking him out. "It's going to get better, yeah? Trust me. Don't worry too hard, just give it time."

He really shouldn't make promises like that. But he can't seem to help it, with Dream.

Dream considers, then says. "I do trust you."

Hob finds that it means a lot. Now he's just going to have to earn it.

#i really am writing the most random indulgent shit this week XD #you know this was a missed opportunity to do 'forbidden romance between a physical therapist and a ballerina' like that ridiculous romance #novel that was going around XD #anyway don't take physical therapy advice from this #dreamling #dream of the endless #hob gadling #my writing #cw abuse #long post #perhaps i'll write more after my next appointment XD #physical therapy fic

[to-be-a-dreamer]

“Separate the art from the artist” is what you say when you still find joy in art that was created by a person who has done something harmful, but their art isn’t directly tied to their actions as a person, so you find ways to privately enjoy it without directly supporting them. It is not something you say to make yourself feel better about directly financially supporting a person who admitted to physical domestic abuse (which is an actual literal crime that people go to jail for, not some kind of petty internet discourse that a notes app apology can fix) just because you can’t stand to let go of your favorite mediocre white boy.

A streamer is not the kind of artist you can separate from the art. Music is another thing but if you’re able to listen to a man sing about being a toxic partner while knowing what he’s done you may need to spend some time unpacking that. And if you’re one of the people who found comfort in using his content as a form of escapism before you knew about all of this, I’m sorry and I know this must be hard to come to terms with but that’s something you need to deal with in private and it’s not an excuse to continue giving a platform to an abuser.

Always believe victims and go support Shelby! She’s been my favorite Minecraft content creator for years and she’s amazing at what she does! Her YouTube and streaming content is great and I’m also a big fan of her work on Kollok 1991 and The Unleashed, which are TTRPG shows if that’s something you’re into! Kollok is a lot more gritty and definitely not PG (think Stranger Things but with more of a horror element) and the Unleashed is like a comic-book super heroes series that’s a little more similar vibes to her usual content. (Featuring an all LGBTQ+ cast and GMed by Aabria Iyengar!) The Unleashed is pretty short for a TTRPG series and a great place to start if you’ve never seen that kind of thing before!

#tw abuse #cw abuse #shubble #shelby shubble #not the kind of thing i usually talk about but I’ve seen too many people misusing that phrase and it simply must be said #the number of people who have said they don’t care what he’s done they’re still going to support him is disgusting #‘I went to therapy I’m better now’ is a shit apology and you all know it #are there ways to consume his music without directly supporting him? #definitely but the majority of people saying this aren’t intending on doing that #wilbur soot #I don’t even want to tag him but I know that’s where the people who need to be told this are

[krakenartificer]

Notes on therapist selection

(From someone who is getting a good grade in Having a Therapist, something that is both normal to want and possible to achieve)

Some friends were discussing their work to find a therapist today, and I noticed some unspoken assumptions that can sometimes get in the way of finding someone who's a good fit for your recovery needs, especially around deciding what specializations to look for when no one covers the full range of your crazy. So a list of things to think about that -- as always -- may or may not be useful to anyone except me.

1) On overlapping specializations Anyone who specializes in ADHD or Autism will also have experience dealing with trauma, because every school system I've ever encountered has been traumatizing for NDs. They may or may not call it trauma in their own minds, but they know how to handle "a bad thing happened in my past and it's fucking up my present" problems.

Likewise, everyone who specializes in trauma has experience with anxiety. PTSD was, until 2013, classified as an anxiety disorder. DSM-V puts it in its own category for presumably good reasons, but everyone with PTSD has anxiety (or close enough that you can't specialize in trauma without knowing how to deal with anxiety).

That said ... 2) On picking your therapist based on vibes

Vibes are really more important than specialization. Specialization is important if, like, you have one (1) specific problem and you are looking for a solution for that problem. Like, if your life is fine except that you have ADHD and the executive dysfunction is causing you to be unable to write English essays, then you definitely want an ADHD specialist. But if your opening session is going to be

Therapist: So what brings you in? Me: Well! -straightens lapels- -pulls out easel- -pulls out prepared presentation notes- I have a list

Or

Therapist: So what brings you in? What changes are you looking to make? Me: This -gestures- Therapist: You just pointed to all of you Me: Yes.

then any generic psychologist is as good as any other. You got shit in your head and you gotta detangle it and it's all snarled together anyway, so it's a lot more important that you find someone who you're willing to be working with for years.

3) On finding "the one"

Odds are really really good that you're gonna have more than one therapist in your recovery arc. I did 2 years with one who specialized in psychological impacts on physical health, and it did so. much. for me, and I don't regret it for a moment, but also ... I reached a point where that wasn't the specialization I needed anymore, and also the shit in my head I needed to deal with was the kind of shit that (for trauma reasons) I couldn't talk about to someone in that therapist's demographic. So I left that practice, and found my current therapist.

My current therapist is great, and I'm really glad I'm working with him, but it's entirely possible that he's not going to be able to sort out this entire mess. We may reach a point where his specialties of relationships and adhd are not my bottlenecks any more, and he doesn't really have the tools he needs to handle what my next bottleneck is, and I'll go find someone else who can meet my needs at that time. This is normal and expected, and it's entirely fine to plan on it by (for example) deciding that you want a specialist in this thing right now, and you'll go find a specialist in this other thing later.

4) On Shopping

It's entirely reasonable to have more than one therapist this week. You are in no way expected or required to pick a single therapist based off of some profile pictures, a bio on the website, and a phone call, and then you're stuck with them forever. It is normal and understood that you will set up appointments with half a dozen therapists, and then pick two (or three) to do another session with, before settling into a single choice. Or don't! If you like two therapists for different reasons, and you'd rather work with them simultaneously instead of serially, then feel free to schedule with twice as many therapists, half as often. This ain't a wedding; you don't have to restrict yourself to only one.

Narrow down your choices as quickly as you want to based on your anxiety about not having a decision, based on your executive dysfunction and inability to track multiple things, based on how you feel about each one ... but don't narrow them down to one just because you think that's "the rules", somehow.

5) On Being Abrasive

If you know, upfront, what some of your dealbreakers are, just straight-up say that as you're scheduling the appointment or in the first session. My last therapist became a problem for me because she expressed empathy in a way that was too similar to the way my abuser used weaponized politeness to deny me boundaries; I couldn't talk to her about my violations because her demeanor was too similar to the person who violated me. So when I first talked to my current therapist, I told him, "I need someone who, if they think I'm full of shit, will say 'I think you're full of shit.'" He replied "One of my other clients calls me 'Deadpool'." I said, "Perfect. Let's give it a shot."

So if you really care that someone will let you schedule appointments online, or will never touch your wrist, or will treat your "disorder" as a neurodivergence to be accommodated rather than a problem to be solved, then say so. The sooner you both know that, the better: if you have particular needs, they need to know that now; and if they're not willing to meet your needs, YOU need to know that now.

(You will not, of course, always know your dealbreakers upfront. When I picked my first therapist, my primary problem was hip pain, and I didn't know it was PTSD. It was through her help that I realized that (a) I had trauma and (b) she was way too like my abuser for me to treat PTSD with her. This was not a failure. This was a massive success, because learning that was what allowed me to find someone who could help me (see point #3). It's fine if you don't know, right now, what you need -- that's part of why vibes are so important (see point #2). But whatever information you can give them, it is helpful to do so, and (despite what people in your past have implied) it is not rude, it is beneficial and desired.

6 - not advice, just a reminder

You are beautiful and brave and strong and I am so proud of you for fighting through all the shit -- both internal and external -- to get yourself help. No one ever talks about how hard it is to get to the point where you schedule that first meeting with that first therapist, and I want you to know that it is painful, it is challenging, and you're not lazy or stupid or whatever other lie your brain is telling you.

#therapy #how to life #how to recovery #long post #recovery #trauma cw #abuse cw #mental illness cw #gpoy #PTSD cw

[seventh-district]

OCD will literally remove your brain's ability to register when a task is Complete and then create 10,000 incredibly ridiculous and extremely specific rules for you to follow in every single aspect of your life (to keep you safe, of course, it tells you.) and then tells you that if you don’t do them Correctly and Completely every single time it tells you to (it tells you countless times per day) then the Entire Fucking World Will End and then it’ll do this fucked up thing where it makes you believe that nonsense.

and then people that don’t have it will make silly little jokes about being soooooo OCD and make t-shirts with fun little acronyms on them like Obsessive Coffee Disorder and tell you how much they like it when things are organized and clean, too!!

and then you’re supposed to just. laugh. like you haven’t been robbed of your entire being and potential and been taken over by a mind and life altering disability

#PSA: don’t fucking tell me to Seek Therapy or Try Medication. i am Aware. i have Tried. it isn’t that fucking simple #and this is my blog. i’ll complain about my illnesses all i want to. if you don’t like it i strongly encourage you to unfollow me #ocd #actually ocd #cw ocd #cw mental illness #mental health stuff #Seven.txt #Obsessive Compulsive Disorder is actually SO goddamn insidious. and only ppl that have lived with it will understand that #it’s a terrible terrible thing. to have something ruin your entire life under the guise of keeping you safe #it’s like being abused by your own mind and i don’t say that lightly #okay. stopped crying long enough to get this post out of my brain and onto my blog #gonna put Walking Disaster on loop and return to my Mental Illness Floor Time now #if no one hears from me for a little while it’s not personal i just. need to not be a Person right now. i’m so tired

[theultimategaebread]

This audio is so azula coded it's crazy.

pls don't steal

#atla azula #princess azula #azula deserved better #atla #avatar the last airbender #cw: implied abuse #cw implied violence #we love a girlboss #but you need to sleep #and get therapy #you'll thank me later #legae's art

[coffeeghoulie]

Eternal Heatstroke

chapter 3: struggling to exist with you (and without you)

Tensions come to a boiling point.

Contains long discussions of child abuse and neglect, nightmares, and mild blood and injury.

(this chapter has one of the two scenes i wrote this entire fic around. please enjoy.)

Running, always running, until their legs give out from under them and they tumble into the brimstone, the howls of angry, starving ghouls descending on them. The portal is always just out of reach, always flickering out. They never make it through.

Aeon wakes from every nightmare exhausted, bruises under their eyes, lips and tongue and tail bitten bloody as they hold in their cries. They pull together the broken pieces of themself before they have to face the pack, Papa, the roaring of the crowds just about every night.

They collapse into their bunk, or onto a too soft hotel mattress, and pass out just to do it again.

Read the rest on ao3, or start from the beginning.

#happy valentines day enjoy some angst #man. this one got me #you ever accidentally hit one of your own nerves /real/ good while you're writing? #i really went “lets write an allegory for the thing you've spent your entire adult life in therapy for” #and thought it would be fine #monica you're a real one #softness from here on out though :) #dot's writing #swiss ghoul #aeon ghoul #the band ghost #the band ghost fanfiction #eternal heatstroke #cw child abuse #cw nightmares

[naamahdarling]

So I'm reading The Body Keeps the Score and it's...mildly illuminating. I'm only part way through and have hope that it might be somewhat helpful to me personally or have even more good observations, because there really are some, and I think that once I get over my disgust and anger, I might even be able to appreciate them.

But what struck me is how this fuckin guy, who is clearly just really into helping people and wants to try to change things and has good intentions and a lot of meaningful experience, and has valuable observations, this guy who really fucking cares, still describes watching actual crimes occur in front of him without intervening, and participating in them sometimes, without acknowledging them directly as crimes or expressing more than some regret. And these crimes were committed upon patients who were already severely traumatized and were in a traumatizing setting, hence their fractious or nonresponsive behavior. Like, he's about as good and well-meaning a guy as you can find, and I see why he has been so important in his field, and still.

He did/does remarkable work, I won't lie, but it just drives home how even though most of these horrible people who taught him may be dead (good) and even though a whole lot of his peers are out of the game by now, STILL their poison lingers, because they absolutely trained a shitfuckassload of the people currently practicing, and trained most of the older people currently still in charge. Two professional generations back and they're using textbooks that are like "ehhh, incest isn't harmful to women, and might actually have psychological benefits." BITCH WHAT? Of COURSE it's fucking awful. That's like common fucking sense. To not be able to see that would require you being mindfucked into believing literally the opposite of what the most basic empathy would tell you is true. These people got their brains washed and then bathed in shit. And now we have the system we do, built by them.

No wonder psych wards are trauma farms and staff utterly ungoverned. They don't see a damn thing wrong with treating their inmates like animals. It's how it's always been done. I mean, I knew that, but still. I keep learning things that make me hate them even more than I did. At every turn they have chosen to perpetuate pain because all they can understand is the need to control these people into behaving "normally".

#starting to go fully anti-psych at this point #meds good #therapy good #loose diagnoses to provide a roadmap for treatment good #dsm bad #psychiatry bad #abuse cw #assault cw #incest cw #medical abuse cw #rambling again

[vizthedatum]

I just broke up with my therapist and am on a waitlist for another therapist in the same practice.

My therapist was really great - she was the first therapist I'd ever had who specialized in narcissistic abuse. She is helping me find a better fit elsewhere. I need to talk to someone who serves a neurodivergent population (in addition to being LGBTQIA+ affirming and versed in trauma and such).

I have felt frustrated because I think that I have never received support for my late-diagnosed autism.

I need autistic support... in addition to trauma support.

To be quite honest, in my personal life experience, I think my autism and ADHD are at the roots of my childhood abuse, school bullying, constant cycles of burnout, and tendency to be in narcissistic relationships (well, in addition to me being primed for being a codependent due to how my parents have treated me - it is no secret that most people's attachment traumas and codependency come from how they've been shown love and support as a child - I was groomed to be prime narcissistic supply!)

#cw narcissistic abuse #narcissistic abuse #dni if you do not believe in narcissistic abuse #autism #autistic #neurodivergence #therapy #healing #trauma #queer #prose #trans #mental health #coping #burnout #masking #functioning #support needs #adhd #audhd #childhood abuse #codependency #ptsd #c-ptsd #narcissistic supply #raised by narcissists

[cuubism]

more physical therapy au

--

Dream comes to his next physical therapy appointment marginally--marginally--less apprehensive than before. When he'd first gone, he'd expected to be told he was being melodramatic. That he should just be grateful that the surgery was successful and he has some functioning. That he should just give up on his art, that it didn't matter, that it was hopeless.

He doesn't know why he thought that. It's been hard to have a charitable view of people, lately.

But Hob wasn't like what he feared. Hob was... kind. To him.

So he goes back.

He has, in fact, been doing the exercises that Hob gave him. It is not as though he has much else to do with his time. Other than setting up his new flat, where he now lives after fleeing what had once been his home. Even a few months later, the place is fairly... minimalist. Which is not Dream's style. But he'd left with little more than his art portfolio and the clothes he was wearing, deciding that it wasn't worth going back, and he hasn't had the energy to replace anything since.

Or the two functioning arms required to move things.

His flat is depressing enough that even the physical therapy office feels warm and welcoming by comparison. Hob gives him a big smile as he comes in. It's pathetic that it makes his heart flutter.

He goes over to Hob, setting the folder he brought on the table.

"You look cheerful," Hob notes. Dream highly, highly doubts that. But he is perhaps slightly less morose than last time. Nevertheless, he finds Hob's optimism... somewhat cheering. Normally, he would find such a thing annoying. But there is something very steady and reassuring about Hob. Not much in Dream's life has felt steady in some time.

"I have tried finger painting," Dream tells him. He takes the piece out of the folder and shows it to Hob.

It had been interesting, at least. Distracted him for a moment. Made him think about the way children make art, before becoming mired in theory and technique.

He had considered bringing one of his usual pieces to demonstrate to Hob what he's meant to be able to do, in case that would be helpful, but it's still painful to look at them.

Hob takes the painting and stares at it with wide eyes. "How is this actually good?"

Dream should probably be offended by his incredulity but instead he just finds it amusing. "I had lots of time to spend."

He has, once again, painted a bunch of cats, all different colors, cluttering the page. It's simple, and lets him avoid thinking about his more conceptual pieces he hasn't been able to work on.

"Wow," Hob says, propping the painting carefully against the wall by his computer. "Okay. Good work going above and beyond on the instructions, Dream."

That praise alone shouldn't make something in his chest start glowing. But it does.

"It did not hurt... much," he says tentatively, before Hob can ask. "However, with a brush..."

It is incredibly frustrating. It's like his body continually wishes to betray him. He's lost his home and everything he owns and now he cannot even have his art.

"Give it some time," Hob says, reasonably. He is much more patient, and optimistic, than Dream.

He makes Dream draw and write again. It's... perhaps marginally easier after the exercises Hob had given him. Still, he finds himself getting frustrated by the weakness of his grip. And the more frustrated he gets, the tighter he grips the pencil. He knows he shouldn't. But.

"Lighter," Hob tells him, and Dream glares at him. Hob raises his hands. "Not telling you how to do your art. Just telling you how not to hurt your hand."

Dream bites down on his annoyance, but loosens his grip.

He doesn't see very much progress, but Hob seems satisfied. He makes Dream run through some other strengthening exercises, which... don't hurt as much as Dream was expecting them to. He'd expected that this whole process would be nothing but gritting his teeth through agonizing pain, to minimal results. Perhaps Death is right, and he should be less pessimistic.

In any case, Hob seems proud of him at the end. Even if Dream doesn't think he's done anything to be proud of.

But he does leave, perhaps, slightly more hopeful than he entered. And he wants to come back. At least to see Hob again.

~~

Hob doesn't know if it's patronizing to be proud of Dream, but he is. Over the last few sessions, his grip has improved a lot. Dream doesn't seem to see it, but that's alright. Hob does. He's been keeping all of Dream's drawings. They are getting better.

Hob is pretty good at optimism. But even so, it somehow hadn't occurred to him that quiet and morose wasn't Dream's natural state. That is until he sees the joy that lights up in him the first time he's able to draw a cat without his hand shaking. Dream smiles so wide, like he isn't even aware Hob is still watching him, and Hob realizes that there is lightness to him. It's just been buried down.

The time after that, Dream even brings some of his old art to show. Hob's been dying to see it for ages, but hasn't pressed. And Dream's art is gorgeous. Hob can understand, now, why he'd been dissatisfied with those first cats he'd drawn, no matter how charming Hob had found them. His big pieces are so finely detailed, so precise. It's... possibly going to take a bit more time to get him back to that than Hob had thought. But he's determined.

But Dream seems happy to be sharing his art, doesn't fold in on himself this time just to mention it. He talks with enthusiasm about his process, the most words Hob's heard him say in... well, ever. Hob tells him that he's made enough progress to pick up painting--with brush, not fingers--again if he wants, but not to beat himself up if it doesn't look the same as his old ones. And for once, it seems like Dream actually accepts the instruction not to berate himself.

All of this is, most certainly, the reason Hob does the insane thing he does next.

He's organizing his records, having already walked Dream out, when he hears raised voices from out on the walkway. The front door is still open a crack, he realizes, so the sound carries.

"Come on, you're overreacting," says an unfamiliar, male voice. "I said I won't do it again, didn't I?"

"Do not," Dream replies, voice anxious, but determined, "follow me."

"Well if you'd just pick up your phone--"

Hob steps outside. An unfamiliar man--the ex-boyfriend, Hob assumes, he doesn't know his name, hasn't asked, doesn't care--has Dream cornered in the doorway. His posture doesn't immediately scream rage or aggression, which is more unnerving rather than less, considering this is the same person who'd snapped and broken Dream's hand.

And Dream looks scared. Under the mask of stoicism he likes to wear. Any cheer or hope he'd gained from today's session has evaporated, and he looks like he did before, when he'd first come to Hob's office, curled in on himself. It breaks Hob's heart. And makes him angry.

"Stop being selfish and just--" the ex-boyfriend continues. Hob means to cut in and diffuse the situation. Tell him to leave in a reasonably professional manner.

Instead he punches him in the face.

Ex-boyfriend's nose goes crunch in an extremely satisfying way, and he reels back with a shriek, hands going to his face. Dream startles back, hands clutched around his art portfolio.

"What the FUCK!" yells ex-boyfriend, voice nasally from the blood running down his face. "You can't just-- this is assault! I'll call the cops!"

Oh he wants to go there, does he? "You wanna talk about assault?" Hob says, voice rising in volume. Dream edges behind him, though Hob's not sure he's fully aware he's doing so. "You want to get police involved, that's really what you want?"

Ex-boyfriend looks from Hob to Dream and back, hesitating. That's fucking right, Hob thinks. Not so easy to kick someone around when there's consequences, huh?

It helps that Hob is visibly stronger than Dream, and spends all day physically moving people around. If ex-boyfriend tries anything he's going to get put on the ground.

Finally he retreats, though with a look of rage towards Hob. Once he's gone, Dream finally seems to relax, some of the tension easing from his shoulders.

"You did not need to," he murmurs.

Hob shakes his head. "No one gets to come and threaten you here. Particularly not that dickhead."

Dream huffs a small laugh. Then he picks up Hob's hand, studying it. Hob winces. It's certainly going to bruise.

"Now you will need physical therapy," Dream says, lips twitching. Hob's glad for the humor in his voice.

Hob laughs. "Worth it."

"No one has..." Dream starts, slowly, "done something like that. For me."

It hurts, to think that no one's stood up for him. Or even let him know that someone should stand up for him.

"If he comes back I'll do it again," Hob says, and gets a tentative smile from Dream.

Then asks, "Does he know where you live?"

Dream frowns. "I do not think so."

"Want me to walk you home?"

He doubts Dream's ex-boyfriend will come back to the office now that he knows Hob's willing to deck him, but that doesn't mean he won't try to corner Dream elsewhere.

Dream deliberates, then says, "Would you?"

"'Course, love. Just let me lock the place up."

He doesn't realize what he's said until he's already turned back to lock the door. Shit. Today has already gone so far beyond what he's supposed to do as Dream's physical therapist, and now...

In the end, Dream doesn't call him out on it. But he does stick close to Hob's side as they walk, and occasionally when Hob looks over at him, he catches a tiny smile on his face.

#this is so sappy oh my god #dreamling #dream of the endless #hob gadling #my writing #cw abuse #physical therapy fic #long post

[stealinkissesfromyourmissus]

so we’re all pretty clear that rupert is nate’s abusive boyfriend this season but i want to take a second and dive into what he’s doing and what that means for nate (i’m still very mad at nate for not dealing with his daddy issues like a grownup but this is daddy issues the show so we’re not surprised).

rupert is exhibiting the textbook signs of the start of an abusive relationship- making nate emotionally reliant on him for praise and fulfillment, encouraging cruelty and isolation, extravagant gifts, subtle insults and digs at his psyche, the ever present threat of disapproval, etc. and i know without a doubt that it’s going to get a whole lot worse.

nate is very obviously seeking approval from his father and when he doesn’t get it he’s turning to the men in his life who are authority figures- ted and now rupert. he’s constantly checking twitter for public approval, bending over backwards to get ruperts approval, and creating an environment of intense cruelty and pressure for the west ham players to ensure their status as a top 4 team (that’s certainly not going to backfire at all lol) and it’s clear that this is really only the beginning. 

nate’s behavior is going to escalate drastically and rupert is going to continue to isolate, enable, and threaten to make sure his team wins. everyone is having a bad time this is not going to be a fun time at all and i am. stressed. 

#ted lasso #ted lasso spoilers #nate shelley #abuse cw #i'm worried i'm worried i'm worried!!!!! #ted is obvs not taking it well and will continue to not take it well #nate go to therapy challenge!!!!

[magicdonuts-supreme]

TW: past abuse. abandonment issues. self-doubt. intrusive thoughts. self-hate statments that S/I believes but are not true. trust issues (kinda). 750+ words.

— - + - —

You had exposed yourself to your F/O. You showed them your raw, emotional, troubled self… but they were still here. Something in your mind doesn’t fit right, panic rising as it washes over the euphoria you had experienced alongside your beloved under their tender care.

Because they were there.

Why hadn’t your F/O left? Why had they stayed so long? So many had abandoned you by this point, why don’t they? Is there an endgame to this? You are a freak, a horror, a traumatized lump of human flesh… You’ll poison them… Why can’t they just see that and leave already? (Not to mention the other side of your raging mind: the one on its knees, the one that grovels and begs and dehumanizes itself into a living joke just to have another person give you a second of attention…)

Deep down, you know why the thoughts are there.

You are expecting abandonment.

Every moment your F/O welcomes you into their warm embrace oh-so cruelly, you know you’re falling further and further for them. But you can’t allow yourself to do that.

You are expecting abandonment.

So much so that you make a fool of yourself and show your most vulnerable sides to them and hope it wards your F/O off… because it’s easier to say that they left because of your actions than to wait a lifetime for them only to realize their absence is the only answer you’ll ever get.

You are expecting a—

“Love?”

You dry your tears against your shirt as discreetly as possible, red eyes darting to and fro—  anywhere away from your F/O’s. “…Yeah?” You cringe at the cracks in your own voice, How dare you not be able to hide this better? How dare you burden them?

Your F/O leans closer just the tiniest bit. “Are you feeling okay?”

“I’m fine,” you say, lips pressed tight.

“C’mon, S/I, you’re underestimating me if you think I can’t notice when you’re upset.” They offer a reassuring smile, although it wavers as your guilty lack of response hangs in the still air. “… Just… I won’t force you, okay? But I know you aren’t feeling well, and that it’s not healthy to keep it all in like this.”

Your voice doesn’t disrupt the silence. A single syllable could break down the dam holding back your sobs, God, you’re a crybaby. You’re weak, pathetic.

“Hey, love, could you please look at me?”

Your line of sight wavers, yet it’s your F/O’s gentle hold and their warm gaze that attracts your own like a magnet’s fated pull.

“There you are,” they utter. “You never were, never are, and never will be a burden, S/I, I love you just as you are. This isn’t a punishment and I will never use it against you. I just want to make sure you’re alright… Like all of those times you did the same to me, ok?”

As calm and tender as they are, there are still signs of breakage in your F/O’s voice. They want to banish — perhaps even worse — whoever taught you those self-damaging beliefs in the first place, but your health comes first. When you’re tangled up in barbs of false promises and toxic love, all your F/O wishes to do is untangle you with a touch of silk and show you what warmth is like. They want to chase those swarms of bad thoughts away and kiss your forehead at night when they’re sure the only thing in your mind is soft dreams of carelessness when you finally let yourself feel safe in their arms.

Some time after their reassurances, your walls break— perhaps for the first time in front of them. Maybe it’s loud and messy whilst your F/O gathers you in their arms, or maybe your tears are silent until you succumb and press yourself against their chest.

And by the end?

“Can I ask you… something…?” You hesitate, doubt still plaguing that one place in your mind.

Your F/O places a kiss against your temple. “Always, love.”

“I mean…” Your gaze wanders off. “It’s a bit unnecessary, maybe even childish…”

“As long as it’s you? As long as you think it’s important and it matters to making you feel safe? It’ll never be unnecessary.”

“… Could you promise…?”

They nod and a small, wonderful smile graces their features. “You don’t ever have to worry about me leaving, S/I. I promise that I’ll always be here for you, that you’ll always be worth waiting for.”

#yes I know this is basically personalised therapy that I wrote for myself and that most people might not relate to but shh #written at an ungodly time by yours truly #f/o imagines #imagine your f/o #f/o x s/i #imagine your comfort character #romantic f/o #queerplatonic f/o #f/o prompts #self shipping #tw past trauma #tw past abuse #cw long post #long post #tw intrusive thoughts #intrusive thoughts #tw self doubt #tw selfhate #I’m *f i n e* I swear **collapses** #I’ll polish this in the morning… maybe… #my writing

[crumbleclub]

aftermath

I did it! I managed to draw Michael angst!

This literally took me seven hours

#the backstory for this one is the thing mentioned in ch 4 blips. i might write a proper aftermath chapter at some point idk #though i'm not interested in writing the event itself play out #but in essence it's a csa situation while he's in foster care perpetrated by an older foster sibling #which is meant to be the culmination of michael having the idea that his boundaries won't be respected pushed on him again and again #and it's meant to point to the failure of literally every person who could have stood in the way of this happening #something something abuse victims becoming easier targets later #also intended to disrupt his life really intensely because like. it's never HAPPENED before #he doesn't have even maladaptive coping skills ready for this #someone get him therapy please #fnaf #michael afton #mike's actual art #cw abuse #cw csa mention #in the tags

[highlifeboat]

Melony, hanging out with Mia at 1:47 AM: "My mother threatened to smash my head against a brick wall once."

Mia: "When I was living with the Bakers, I got thrown in the bayou and almost eaten by gators."

Melony: "One time, she left me at the market and hoped I wouldn't be able to find my way home. And when I did she went on a rant about how she was hoping I would get kidnapped."

Mia: "Jack killed me like... Three times. I think once was an accident, but still."

Cassandra and Alcina, who came to drag them to bed: "What the fuck-"

#when the wife lore is insane #rambles #text post #miacina #mecassa #cw implied abuse #talking about it to each other is their therapy

[aro-culture-is]

(abuse cw) abused aro culture is not trusting any choices you make regarding romance or partners bc you've been hurt by those claiming they love you, so you just don't make those choices in the first place

.

#Anonymous #aro culture is #aro #aromantic #actually aro #actually aromantic #ask #mod axel #abused aro culture #abuse cw #honestly a mood but would advise therapy

[antstarion]

my house feels so empty without my dog :(( vent in tags

#I don't have therapy for fucking ages so here we go. im gonna rant #cw for pet death #cw pet death #cw pet loss #my dog died technically yesterday now and i am fucking heartbroken #he has been around since i was 9 or 10 years old so i was so fucking attached to that guy #he loved to cuddle on the sofa with me and we spent a lot of time together because i sleep downstaira in the same room as him #the pain that i feel is so much without even factoring my family #my family are extremely emotionally abusive and trying to cope with a loss that is this big around them is so difficult #im going back to my flat in a couple of days but the reactions to this event are fucking unsettling #nobody is talking about it. if i bring it up they just ignore it. #i am not one to govern how people react to grief but. if you knew my family #i feel like its importsnt to mention that they didnt tell me he was having to be put down until the day befoew #they withheld the fact he went blind and couldnt walk from me #last time i saw him he was old but fine and this time he was struggling to breathe #nobody told me #i dont know #in a house that was fucking horrible to me he was always nice #he was the only #one who didnt do anything wrong #he was a constant through all the abuse and now he is gone #i feel like everything is cracking beneath me and im about to fall #cw suicide #but im thinking just terrible things #im trying not to see this as a relapse in my recover because i know this is a normal reaction to grief for me #i just feel terrible and alone #and when i felt #like this before. he would always be there #hes stopped me from hurting myself before just because he was there #idk what to do

[altschmerzes]

With your parents being annoying… I can hear the feeling of intrusion and I don’t know your relationship… but as a mother let me tell you: you carry a peace of your heart outside your body… a call every two weeks would kill me … just to get a perspective for the other side. The problem is usually when they don’t care :). It is hard to find the mix between distance and closeness especially when trying to find your own way in the world. Overprotectiveness can be crushing… but trust me, it was much much easier to be mad at my parents before I had a kid of my own 😄😄🙈 again, not telling you what to feel and I am sure you guys will figure out some way

you’re right, you don’t know our relationship which makes this an unbelievably disrespectful and honestly downright cruel message to send.

she is the one who does not call me for upwards of a month at a time. i honestly can’t remember the last time she called me first. it’s all me. she barely remembers she has another kid and when she does she switches to being possessive and invasive to ‘make up for it’ or whatever. she doesn’t fucking care most of the time. and that’s not worse, this is not better, it all fucking sucks. the only thing im trying to balance is my parents’ continued degree of financial control over my life vs how badly it harms me to continue to have contact with them.

also, if she wanted more frequent contact she could’ve tried idk not abusing me. that might’ve helped. the cptsd makes it a little fucking hard to prioritize having a chat with her, what with her literally almost killing me several times and all. i may be a piece of her heart outside her body or what the fuck ever but she sure as hell didn’t let that stop her from destroying me as a person and blaming me for it. maybe if the idea of not hearing from your kid however often you want bothers you start with ‘don’t be abusive’ and go from there. im making plans for my first kid at the moment and i cannot fathom a world where having that child is going to make me anything but more angry at them for the shit they did to me.

not that you’re entitled to any of that information. just thought you might be jolted out of whatever rosy parents can do no wrong world you live in where there can’t possibly be a fucking reason aside from ‘oh surely this stranger doesn’t get why someone’s mom might want to hear from them’ that someone might not be fucking thrilled to call their mother. i cannot begin to describe how invasive and upsetting a message this was to get when i have already been having a difficult weekend regarding being triggered about this shit.

‘i can hear the feeling of intrusion and i dont know your relationship’ so you know this was wrong to say, then? listen to that feeling next time. it’s your fucking conscience and it might keep you from lecturing the next fucking abuse victim about how they’re probably hurting their abusers’ poor feelings and they just don’t get a mother’s love and how it feels or whatever. fuck off and go to hell.

#gav gab #gav answers #abuse cw #of all the inappropriate messages to send im genuinely fucking livid #‘being annoying’ that’s not the fucking impact of her freak out #i felt fucking TERRIFIED and TRAPPED because the basis for this woman deciding she cares about being my mom again #is needing to tell campus police to disregard any calls they get from my family #and also the time i sat in family therapy listening to the woman who almost killed me go on very intense rants #about how she needs to step up and be stricter be more controlling be harsher with me #imagine seeing someone triggered by an abuser getting possessive and controlling and going oh i got this! #time for ME and my SUPERIOR PERSPECTIVE to lecture this chump about how important it is to consider their abuser’s feelings! #surely that’s what this calls for! #‘but gav there’s nothing directly identifying your mother as abusive in that post’ which is EXACTLY how you know you don’t have #the fucking AUTHORITY OR STANDING to say absolutely fuck all to someone about their parents based on a single post #it is not secret knowledge. i reblogged a post about abuse yesterday and pretty directly identified my parents as abusive in the tags #anyone who knows me anywhere CLOSE to enough to be entitled to an opinion on how i deal with my fucking family knows this about me #this is why you stay the fuck out of what’s not your fucking business