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sundrop-writes · 1 month

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Careful - Chapter Four

(Dad)Spencer Reid x (Mom)Fem!Reader

Chapter Four: Last Hope

It’s just a spark but it’s enough to keep me going.

Summary:

The entire axis of your world is shifting.

Spencer is not the man you left alone all those years ago, and you don't know how to react to him being such a perfect, caring father. You also don't know how to react to the potential that you could be killed by someone who has already gutted five other women.

Luckily, Spencer is there to protect you. Another thing you don't fully know how to react to - but somehow, you just go with it.

Dad!Spencer Reid x Mom!Fem!Reader. Exes to Lovers. (Slight) Fluff and Angst.

Word Count: 8,800

Criminal Minds Masterlist | AO3 Link | Series Masterlist

Detailed warnings and author's notes below.

Warnings: Again, basic warnings for a Criminal Minds episode - mentions of murder/killing, the reader character is the next target of a serial killer; mentions of the reader wearing a sexy Halloween costume (during a flashback); mentions of gender roles - the reader doesn’t raise Sebastian with strict gender roles (and Spencer appreciates this); mentions of the reader giving birth (not graphic descriptions); some emotional tension between Spencer and the reader; angst because Spencer is upset about missing out on so much of Sebastian’s life; passing mention of abortion; the reader is threatened (in a graphic way) and called whore in a derogatory manner by the UnSub; Spencer is also threatened in a very graphic way by the UnSub; specific threats of stabbing and rape (toward the reader); passing mention of poop (because come on, this is a little kid, and kids talk about their poop a lot); I believe that’s it for this chapter.

A/N: So, this chapter starts off with a flashback rather than ending with one, because flashbacks are important to how information is revealed to the audience, and I think it works here. Idk what else to say about this chapter - I think it's a nice transition into the climax. I hope you guys enjoy it!!

...

Halloween. It was always a time when Spencer thrived the most - and he thrived even more when spending it with you.

It was your second Halloween together as a couple, and Spencer loved that you enjoyed celebrating the holiday just as much as he did. You loved dressing up, you loved all of the spooky lore behind Halloween. And of course, you loved listening to all of the real life facts he had to tell you about Halloween’s history, and things like vampires, werewolves, zombies, and all of the Halloween traditions and how they evolved over time.

You didn’t think before that learning about the origins of Halloween could make it even more fun, but Spencer somehow made it into the most exciting educational documentary of your life.

This year, you had invited him to a house party that one of your work friends was hosting. It would be some light drinking, finger food, dancing to cheesy Halloween songs, and most likely sitting around and talking while roasting marshmallows around your friend’s backyard fire pit. It wouldn’t be anything big, but you expected it to be a really fun night.

You showed up to Spencer’s place wearing a straight off the rack, generic ‘sexy witch’ costume. It consisted of a very wide brimmed pointy hat, dark make-up, and a tight corset drawing attention to your curves, as well as a short tulle skirt, flared sleeves, and black fishnets and black boots to top off the look. He found you irresistible and almost wanted to stay at home. But he was looking forward to the party; he was excited to meet your friends and he knew that the occasion meant a lot to you.

He told you that he was planning on going as a young Ernest Hemmingway, and as much as you adored it, because it was a very Spencer thing to do - you knew that it was very unlikely that anybody else at the party would be able to identify his costume on sight, and that would probably disappoint him. He would be standing proudly, asking people to guess who he was, and they would come up blank because they weren’t in the same mindset as him.

So you advised him of this, and encouraged him to steer his costume in a different direction. (And Spencer - trusting any advice you gave, simply let you lead him.)

You took the late 1800s style clothing he had picked out for the occasion, and some of the makeup you had brought in your bag for potential touch-ups - and you convinced him to let you dress him up as a sexy vampire who had been turned in the late 1800s.

You did his makeup - with some dark eyeliner, that he winced at the entire time, some dark eyeshadow, and some red lipstick smudged around his mouth to appear as though it were blood he had just siphoned from his latest victim. And the entire time you worked, he came up with an elaborate name and backstory for his vampire character. You delighted in listening to him tell you all about Frederic Henry - named after a Hemmingway character. A man who was shot in the military and assumed dead, but who was saved in the trenches of World War I by a vampire’s bite, and then lived on.

You encouraged him to wear his shirt unbuttoned quite a bit, creating a deep V down to his chest that he wouldn’t have worn any other time. Thinking about his story, you even used the eyeliner to create the scar of a bullet wound on his chest, slightly hidden by his shirt - something to hint at Frederic’s tragic past.

(Both you and Spencer got way too into it, but you were having fun.)

You were running a bit late by the time you left Spencer’s apartment, but it was a casual house party, and you knew that nobody was going to call you out for being ‘late’.

You parked a few blocks away, not wanting to drive through the neighborhood with so many kids out and about on foot. It was still early in the evening, and many kids were still out, knocking on doors, getting their candy.

“They’re so cute, aren’t they?” You remarked as the two of you walked down the sidewalk, hand in hand with Spencer as you made your way toward the party among a sea of Trick or Treaters.

“Kids in costumes? Or just kids in general?” Spencer replied with a chuckle, trying to clarify what you had said.

(There was a hopeful edge in his voice, a daring longing in his eyes as he looked at the parents helping their children from house to house. Something deep inside of him that hoped the two of you could have your place here a few years from now.)

“Kids in general are cute.” You shrugged. “But kids in their little costumes are so much cuter.”

Spencer’s insides fluttered - seeing you light up with joy just talking about children, knowing that it might be in your future. Knowing that it might be a part of his future with you.

“If we had a baby, would you wanna dress him up for Halloween?” Spencer asked.

You wanted to fixate on the ‘if’ - to tell him that you thought it was something more certain in your future, with the way things were going. That you thought he would make an amazing father. That you wanted it to be a ‘when’.

Instead, you chose a different part of his statement to pick at.

“You sound awfully certain that our kid would be a boy.” You chuckled. “Please don’t tell me you’re one of those guys who would be disappointed by having a girl.”

That would be a dealbreaker for you. As amazing as Spencer was - he had to be just as good of a father to a daughter as he would be to a son in order to stay in the picture.

“Goodness, no.” Spencer replied, shaking his head.

He held back. He didn’t tell you that he had spent far too much time - hours on the plane rides back home, nights when he couldn’t sleep - thinking about his future with you. He imagined three kids. An oldest boy, and two girls, about a year or two apart each. A golden retriever, a house - he had even picked out which district he wanted to live in based on schools in the area and lowest crime rates.

He knew it was stupid, but he had already been squirreling away money for a downpayment on that house. When you were ready, he wanted to be able to give you everything you could ever ask for. He had way too much time to fantasize, and he didn’t want to admit that to you now.

“Just - it slipped out.” He chuckled. “I would be thrilled if we had a little girl. But - I pictured us having a boy.”

In his mind’s eye, his daughter was so much like you. And if that came to pass, then he would be the luckiest man on earth.

“You did?” You grinned at him, a distinct light in your eye.

Spencer found his chest untightening as he breathed in relief.

“Well, if he’s half as cute as you,” You said, moving a hand over to pinch one of his cheeks, which made him smile and let out a huff, half forming into a laugh. “Then I definitely wanna dress him up in a Halloween costume. Especially while he’s still little and cute and can’t argue about what I wanna dress him up as. Before he starts talking and wants to be that fuzzy guy from Star Wars.”

“You mean Chewbacca?” Spencer asked, wondering which one you were talking about.

“Yeah!” You said. “The big ugly one. The little teddy bear guys are cute, but the big one is kind of creepy.”

“We had an all-day Star Wars marathon, and you didn’t tell me that you thought Chewbacca was creepy?” Spencer chuckled, his mind now distancing from the subject of the two of you having kids.

“Yeah, because you were there to protect me!” You replied, your voice still filled with lightness and laughter. “And I didn’t even really realize it until after. I had this weird nightmare-”

“You had nightmares about Chewbacca?”

“One nightmare! It was only one!”

The subject of children was forgotten, then.

Your laughter echoed off into the night, and you didn’t think much of the conversation.

Spencer remarked on it as a precious memory - as a sign that his savings account was an insurance policy for his future, not a fool’s errand. After the break-up, he thought about it over and over - he wondered where he had gone so wrong, how he had lost you. If you had felt so secure in your future together - how had he lost you?

…

Spencer wasn’t sure how it was possible, but he was growing more and more love for Sebastian with each passing moment.

After he got off the phone with Derek, he went back into the house to be mobbed by Sebastian. Having the boy run into his arms with so much excitement - it made him feel more heroic than anything he had done with the BAU for the past years of his life. So often, when he carted off a killer to jail or when he saw a victim returned to the arms of their family, he couldn’t feel the relief or the calm that JJ or Gideon spoke of. He just felt so empty.

But having Sebastian hug him tight and ramble in his ear with excitement about all his plans for their afternoon - it made his chest swell with a grand importance that he had only gotten a taste of when he was with you. When he was making you happy. It felt like a moment that his whole life was leading up to.

You asked Spencer if it was okay for you to go back to your office and get some work done while he occupied Sebastian, and he could think of nothing he wanted more - except maybe for you to join him, and to spend some true quality time with him and his son. But he hoped that would come later. And this in itself was progress - you trusting him to play with Sebastian, to spend time alone with him while you got your work done.

Sebastian showed Spencer every single one of his toy dinosaurs, and they played with those for quite a while. They also had a tea party with some large bears and dolls present - and Spencer was delighted by the fact that you didn’t buy him gender specific toys. Knowing that this opened up different areas of play and imagination, and allowed for his development to be nurtured by gentleness and caring that young boys didn’t often get in a society so rigid about gender roles.

Spencer really couldn’t imagine a better boy. You had raised such a beautiful, smart son. Someone who was polite, so caring, and gentle.

Spencer was practically swollen with love, overwhelmed at getting to spend time with his son.

His heart felt as though it might burst out of his chest and he knew that he looked fitful, actively holding back overwhelmed tears while Sebastian poured the imaginary tea for each member sitting around the small plastic table and they clinked their tiny plastic cups together in a toast.

Then, Sebastian wanted to show Spencer a favorite movie of his. He rushed downstairs to put it on the TV, and as he was picking it out among the DVDs, he became distracted by something at the top of the shelf beside the TV.

“My Halloween basket!” Sebastian said, pointing to an orange basket at the top of the shelf - one that did appear as though it was for Halloween, with a jack-o-lantern’s face painted on the front of it.

“Mommy says treats are for after dinner. But… can we have one now?” The boy looked hopefully toward Spencer, knowing that he would be able to reach the basket and bring it down toward him.

Spencer didn’t want to undermine your rules. You had done so well raising Sebastian this far, so you were clearly doing everything right.

He crouched down to the boy’s level.

“We should go ask your Mommy if it’s okay to have one.” He told Sebastian, who nodded, and then ran off toward your office with that thunderous urgency in his steps.

He heard a distant ‘Mommy!’ - and a bang that could have been Sebastian’s version of a knock or him downright smacking the office door until it opened. But then he heard your voice murmuring and what must have been a frustrated sigh.

Spencer felt slightly bad that he had sent Sebastian to interrupt your work, especially over something so small. But he didn’t want to lose progress with you and have you reaming him out for giving your son sugar without your permission.

You soon came into the room and went straight for the candy bucket, lifting it off the shelf and bringing it down to Sebastian’s level so that he could choose one.

“I know it seems cruel. But I didn’t want him eating it all on Halloween and puking, so he’s allowed to have one a day, usually as a treat after dinner.” You explained, clearly wanted to lay out your reasoning for Spencer.

“No, no, it’s not cruel.” Spencer replied quickly. “It’s a good idea. Regulating his intake of sugar while not completely restricting it as something sacred or off-limits. It’s a good call.”

Sebastian picked out a small packet of M&Ms, and then you went to lift the bucket away, and he spoke up.

“Can I pick one for my friend Spencer, too?” He asked.

“Yeah, go ahead.” You nodded, and then you added on: “Spencer’s favorite is Snickers.”

Of course, Spencer was floored that you remembered this.

Sebastian picked out a mini Snickers and then excitedly thrust it in Spencer’s direction.

“Aw, thanks buddy!” Spencer said, eagerly taking it with a grin, even reaching out to give him a high five while he smiled up at Spencer in return.

(He was too busy looking at Sebastian with those stars in his eyes to notice the way you were watching the pair - watching all of your dreams unfold before you with an odd mixture of bitterness and affection swelling up inside of you.)

Sebastian moved on to picking out the movie and you went to walk out of the room again, seemingly to get back to work, but Spencer stopped you. Something else was on his mind.

“Y/N.” He called your name gently, and you turned back to him, your arms crossed stiffly.

He was just glad that you didn’t seem so angry at him using your name this time.

“Do - do you have any pictures of Sebastian in his Halloween costume?” He asked meekly, afraid that you would stamp out this request with more anger and defensiveness.

“Why?” You gaped, seeming very confused that he would even ask this.

“I - I just wanted to see.” Spencer replied.

‘Because I missed out on so much of him.’ He hesitated to say. ‘I know it’s impossible, but I want those years back.’

The deep sadness lingering in Spencer’s eyes caused your stomach to clench.

He had really changed. This wasn’t the same man who had been standing in the apartment that night. This wasn’t the same person who had been so callous and stubborn - the same person that you felt you needed to protect your unborn child from.

Maybe this was the man you had fallen in love with, somehow rescued from the clutches of that person you didn’t know who had mocked you while wearing Spencer’s face.

“Gimme a minute.” You told him. And then you leaned in close before you whispered something else. “And you should let him see you eat the Snickers, otherwise he’s gonna be insulted.”

Spencer smiled at this.

Sebastian waved him over then, and he asked which DVD Spencer would rather watch. Spencer ate the Snickers and thanked Sebastian for sharing his treats once again while the boy went through a very detailed explanation of the plot of the films so Spencer would have an informed choice. And then Spencer picked, and Sebastian moved to put the movie into the DVD player.

This was when you came back with a thick envelope filled with pictures and handed them over to Spencer.

“I had these printed a while ago.” You explained. “I was planning on making a scrapbook for my mom, for mother’s day. It’s… basically every important moment in Sebastian’s life.”

“That’s my baby picture!” Sebastian said excitedly, looking over at the pictures in Spencer’s lap. “That’s when I was a baby, after I was born. I was one day old. Mommy said that everyone used to be one day old at some point, but that just sounds weird!”

Spencer’s throat clenched up with tears, and this clashed with the laughter he experienced from Sebastian’s comments.

But as he looked through the pictures, he had a much harder time holding back his tears.

Seeing all of the pictures, all of those moments - it slowly broke him.

The first picture was one of Sebastian wrapped in a very clinical swaddling blanket when he was still so new and wrinkly, only hours after his birth. Spencer could imagine how small Sebastian would have been in his arms. The tiny little newborn sounds he would have made. Spencer wished that he could have held your hand through the birth, that he could have been there with both of you in the hospital during those first few days of his life.

Then, a picture of you holding Sebastian in his nursery when you had brought him home from the hospital - a photo that was most likely taken by your mom. You had such a big, bright smile on your face. You looked so perfect with him in your arms. You were such a good mother.

There were pictures of him when he was more alert - his big, curious eyes looking at the world for the first time; what appeared to be his first picnic out at the park when he was laying on his back on a soft blanket, taking in the world for the first time. Spencer could imagine how sweet his baby laughter would be - what it would have been like blowing raspberries on his soft belly and kissing you under the warm sun.

He continued flipping through the photos - another one of what must have been his first Halloween. He was dressed up as a chubby round Jack-o-Lantern with his little fist in his mouth, drooling around it while your mother held him for the picture.

And then - pictures of him walking experimentally while you held him by both of his hands; him sitting in front of a Christmas tree, opening an exciting Christmas toy that made him beam with a big smile.

Pictures of important memories all throughout his life, all the way up until recently. This past Halloween, he had dressed up as Luke Skywalker.

He liked Star Wars.

“Um, can I use your bathroom?” Spencer choked out.

He knew that he was crying very blatantly now.

His chest was caving in as all of it truly hit him - how much of his son’s life he had missed. He didn’t wait for you to direct him because he knew that he had passed the bathroom coming down the hall. He abandoned the photos in the middle of the coffee table, haste to escape.

Sebastian looked at him with sad eyes as he stormed out of the room.

“Why is my friend Spencer sad?” He asked in a small voice, looking up at you. “He doesn’t like my pictures?”

“No, honey, your pictures are beautiful.” You assured him, kneeling down by the table and gathering up the pictures. “It’s complicated…” You let out a huff, not knowing how to explain it to him. Not even knowing where to start. “It’s grown-up stuff, okay? Just - just watch your movie.”

You stacked the photos back into the envelope, and you hoped that Sebastian wouldn’t follow you as you raced down the hall toward Spencer. You weren’t surprised to find the bathroom door closed.

“Spence,” You called out his name as you knocked gently on the bathroom door.

That gutted him even more. Spence.

Another harsh reminder of the life he had lost.

“I’m sorry.” He called back, his voice audibly drenched in tears.

Your throat tightened up.

This began to shift your entire axis. The man you had left standing alone that night - you thought he was a man who would have never cared about your son. Someone who would have asked you to get an abortion or distanced himself from the pregnancy as much as possible.

But this man - this felt like the Spencer you knew, the one you fell in love with.

He cared so much.

This was someone who could fit into your life, someone who could help raise your son.

And tugging right at your heart, something you wanted to deny - this was a man you wanted to be your husband, as well as the father of your child.

“Spencer, please-”

Spencer opened the door then, and upon instinct, you drew back, wrapping your arms tightly around yourself. Unconsciously, you were protecting yourself.

“I’m sorry.” He apologized again. “Did I scare him? I didn’t mean to.” He asked, looking behind your shoulder as if waiting for Sebastian to appear.

There it was again - prioritizing your son above all else. Worry for him.

Something you wouldn’t have expected. Something that forced you to shift your whole perspective.

“He’s fine.” You told him. “He - he probably just wants you to watch the movie with him.” You said, entirely honest, motioning toward the living room - where the sound of Sebastian’s cartoon movie could be heard playing from the television.

“I’ll be out in a minute.” Spencer noted, reaching for some toilet paper to wipe his eyes with.

You squeezed your hands tighter around your arms, resisting the urge to reach out and touch him. You wanted to wipe those tears away yourself. Spencer’s keen eye went right to this movement, and you felt so caught.

“I should go start dinner.” You said, eager for an excuse to escape the situation.

You whisked down the hall before Spencer could say anything else, and before his mind could linger too much on it - on you - his phone rang again.

It was a number he didn’t recognize, but he had to guess that it was one of the phones from the local police station - someone from the team calling with an update about the case.

“Reid here.” He answered, deeply hoping that he didn’t sound too tearful over the phone.

“Do you like pretending, Doctor Reid?”

That certainly wasn’t a voice he recognized.

“Excuse me?” Spencer squeaked back, having no clue what this meant.

“Do you like playing house, Doctor Reid?”

The person on the other end posed a slightly different question. The voice was sharp and certain, completely devoid of genuine emotion. It caused a chill down Spencer’s spine, and he knew, somehow-

The UnSub had gotten a hold of his phone number, and felt the need to taunt him by getting in contact with him.

“Unlike you, I’m not playing.” Spencer growled in return, already having the profile in his pocket. “I don’t need to play house to fulfill some God complex. I fully intend to spend the rest of my life being there for my son, raising him. And as long as I am here, in this house, no harm will come to my son or the woman who raised him.”

“Hmm…” The man seemed entirely bored with Spencer’s words. “The woman who raised him. Such a funny way to talk about that whore you supposedly once loved. But she did such a good job raising the boy, didn’t she? Seems like she didn’t even need you in the picture, did she? Such a sweet little thing… anybody could just waltz right into that house, slit her throat and take him. He’s smart enough to do well on his own now.”

Spencer knew that it was a tactic intended to get to him, and he shouldn’t have let it emotionally affect him as much as it did - but fuck, it got to him.

“Don’t talk about her that way.” He growled into the phone. “Don’t talk about them, that way, I swear to god, I’ll-”

“You’ll do what, Doctor Reid?” The man cut him off, clearly mocking him. Clearly in disbelief that Spencer could ever truly be violent in response to his family being threatened.

Spencer choked on a breath, trying to compose himself.

“Now, now. Simmer now.” The man cooed, still mocking, entirely condescending. “And don’t you worry, Doctor. Every whore gets her time to be an angel. I’m sure that she’s going to look so beautiful when she’s moaning and writhing in pain while my knife plunges into her guts. Don’t worry, Daddy - I’ll treat her as gently as I can.”

Spencer sucked in a breath, preparing to yell at the man, but then - the line went dead with a sharp ‘click’. Spencer pulled back his phone and looked at the display - he memorized the number so that he could give it to Garcia later, and then, he called JJ.

“Reid, hey.”

She sounded worried.

Any rage pumping through him that the unknown man had triggered in him melted away, and he immediately wondered why JJ had taken on that sad, sullen tone.

Before he could ask, she spoke up again.

“We… were just wondering if we should call you.”

“What’s wrong?” He asked.

“The UnSub knows you’re in the house.” She announced, ripping the band-aid off all at once.

Spencer wondered again how this was possible. But he figured that it was better to exchange information and let the questions naturally arise than to ask the questions himself.

“Yeah, he just called me.” He told JJ. “Clearly with the intention to antagonize me.”

“Wait, hold on.” JJ sighed. In the police station, she walked into the conference room where the team was working and put her phone on speaker for the room before she spoke to Spencer again. “Tell them what you just told me.”

“Someone who I can only assume was the UnSub just called me.” Spencer explained. “It was very clear that he was trying to antagonize me. He - he seemed jealous that I’m here - that I’m trying to take his place as father in the household before he could get here.”

“What makes you say that?” Hotch asked.

“He claimed that I was ‘playing pretend’. He called me Daddy. He mocked my love for Y/N, and taunted me with the idea of him… potentially killing her.” Spencer found those last words particularly difficult to speak, but he knew that the team needed all the information at hand.

“Let me guess, he called you from a blocked number?” Prentiss wondered aloud.

“No, actually.” Spencer replied. “Do you have a pen? I can give you the number and you can have Garcia run it.”

“Fire away.” Prentiss replied.

“503-202-1052.” Spencer told her.

“I’ll call Garcia now.” She said - on the other end, getting up from the table to call Garcia on her cell.

“JJ said you guys have something too?” Spencer asked, still wondering what JJ had meant.

“The scumbag sent us a letter.” Morgan answered. “The envelope was full of pictures. A bunch of pictures of your girl and the kid from weeks back - them at the park, at restaurants, at the grocery store. He’s way farther ahead in his timeline than we thought he was.”

“Yeah, and there’s… something else.” Rossi sighed. “He also included pictures of you and JJ standing on the porch when you arrived at the house. And one of you coming back to the house later, by yourself. In one of them… he crossed your eyes out with a red marker. It’s clear that he sees you as competition. A clear threat to his fantasy.”

“But - how does he know that I’m Sebastian’s real father?” Spencer wondered aloud.

“Perhaps he only sees you as competition because you’re another male encroaching on his territory. Because you’ve spent prolonged time at the house, seemingly to protect her and the child.” Hotch theorized.

“No…” Spencer said, putting the pieces together in his. “On the call, he said: ‘Such a funny way to talk about that whore you supposedly once loved.’” Spencer repeated it perfectly from memory, feeling a pang in his chest at calling you a ‘whore’, even if it wasn’t his own wording. “It was like he knew that me and Y/N dated before and broke up. Like he knows that Sebastian is a result of our previous relationship.”

“That is… strange.” Rossi remarked. “Do you think that Y/N might have mentioned your relationship to a friend, or a neighbor? Maybe… she might have confided in somebody?”

“It’s possible.” Spencer sighed. “But since she’s moved here, she’s surrounded herself with women. A female babysitter, fellow moms as her friend group.” It was something he had noticed in the more recent photos of Sebastian. “Our UnSub is a man - I don’t see her divulging those types of things to him, even if she didn’t know he was a potential threat.”

“Well either way, he knows. And he’s pissed off.” Morgan sighed. “I mean, the wording of this letter… it makes sense why he seems so hostile toward Reid. It’s not just anger toward a random man who’s encroaching on his territory - it’s a personal rage towards someone he feels could actually ruin his chances with Y/N if he’s built up this fantasy of having her in his mind over these weeks.”

Morgan picked up the letter and read some lines from it. “‘I will stab him in the spine, paralyzing him and forcing him to watch as I rape that whore - I will take her as my own while he pleads for mercy. I will show him what happens when weak men abandon their obligations. If Daddy wants to play, I’ll play too.’”

“Is that really what he thinks?” Spencer huffed, unable to hold back his emotions. “That I abandoned my obligations? Does he really think that-?”

“Reid.” Hotch said firmly, cutting off Spencer’s ranting. “Stay calm. What we really need to ask ourselves now is: how does he know so much about you? How does he know so much about your past that even we didn’t know?”

He added this on - seemingly taking offense to the fact that most of the team didn’t know that Spencer had a serious girlfriend in the past. A relationship that had resulted in a child.

Just then, Emily came back into the room.

“Garcia said the phone number goes to a public library on the other side of town.” She announced.

“Morgan, you and Prentiss go to the library - see if anyone there saw the UnSub or if they have any potential security footage of him.” Hotch ordered.

“Reid, see if you can convince Y/N to come into protective custody.” Hotch added on, turning his attention to the man on the phone. “With the UnSub being further along in his timeline than we thought, and seemingly being provoked by your presence, we really need to protect her and her child. Stress that fact to her. We need to keep a close eye on her until we can find a viable suspect.”

“Yes, of course.” Spencer replied, before ending the call.

Spencer splashed some cold water on his face, truly trying to pull himself together before he exited the bathroom.

It truly hit him, then.

This day wasn’t about some soft, sappy reunion with you and his son. This day was about the fact that you had been targeted by a dangerous, deranged killer. And he needed to do everything in his power to protect you from that horrible man.

A fresh, vicious wave of determination went through him - if he had to tear out the man’s throat with his teeth, then he would. He wasn’t going to let even the tiniest amount of harm come to you or his boy. Not today, not tomorrow, not ever.

He put on a smile, not wanting to potentially scare Sebastian with a frown or his trembling fear over what might happen. He tried his hardest to push all of it out of his mind for now as he walked down the hallway and back into the living room - where a musical cartoonish number was in full swing on the TV.

“You were in the bathroom for a long time!” Sebastian commented brightly. “Did you have to go poop?”

Spencer let out a laugh at this. This almost instantly lifted his mood - the fact that such a young kid didn’t have the sense of embarrassment or social constructs in order to know that it wasn’t really routine to ask someone what they had been doing in the bathroom. He easily found humor in Sebastian’s bluntness.

“Seb, what did we say about asking people about their poop?” You called out from the kitchen, clearly having heard the conversation.

(So this was a habit of his?)

“Sorry!” Sebastian called back. Sebastian then turned back to Spencer. “Your poop is only your business. Unless you have to tell the doctor about your poops.” He assured Spencer, clearly repeating something that his mother had told him.

Spencer nodded. “It’s all good, bud.” He said, smiling at Sebastian. “I’m gonna go talk to your mom, okay?”

“Are you gonna watch the movie with me?” Sebastian asked.

“I promise, I’ll watch whatever you want to later.” Spencer replied.

He made it a promise because he wanted to hold himself to it - he wanted to spend lots of days watching films with his son. And playing games, and teaching him things. He promised himself that there would be lots of time to do these things with Sebastian in the future because nobody would interrupt that for him.

But for now, he had to convince you to agree to protective custody so that the three of you could have the safety and security of a future together.

Sebastian seemed content with this answer and turned back to the TV, and Spencer ventured into the kitchen, where you were preparing dinner.

“Hey, Spence.” You greeted him gently. “I’m assuming that you’re staying for dinner? It’s nothing fancy, just some pasta with cream sauce, and chicken and broccoli.” You explained, gesturing around to the many items you had surrounding you - a pot of boiling water, and cutting boards with different vegetables, and one sequestered off in the corner with cut-up chicken pieces waiting to be put in a frying pan that was still heating up.

“Sounds good.” He easily agreed. “After dinner, we need to pack a bag for Sebastian, and you need to get some stuff together so that we can get you guys into protective custody.” He said, posing it more like a gentle suggestion than a question that you could say no to.

He truly hoped that he wouldn’t have to go into the graphic details as to why you needed the protection - why it was more urgent now. He hoped that he wouldn’t have to resort to telling you about the man who had threatened to go poking around in your insides with a knife while making him watch.

Not surprisingly, you completely ignored what Spencer said.

“Unless you prefer Turtle Mac n Cheese?” You said, instantly deflecting away from the topic, holding up a box of mac n cheese that had some cartoonish characters on it. They were green and looked vaguely like anthropomorphic turtles. Spencer guessed that this was what you were making for Sebastian’s dinner - most likely along with having him eat some broccoli, because you seemed determined for him to at least somewhat eat healthy. “I think that cartoon shapes really give it that extra gourmet flare.”

“Stop that.” Spencer demanded gently, taking the box out of your hands and placing it somewhere else on the counter. You frowned at him. “Stop acting like what’s happening isn’t a big deal. If you’re doing this because you’re frightened-”

“I’m not frightened.” You said, cutting him off. “I just don’t think that the FBI needs to be wasting resources on me when there’s people out there who are actually in danger. Or people who have dead loved ones who need answers.”

“Exactly.” Spencer pressed. He lowered his voice before he spoke his next words, though he knew it was unlikely that Sebastian would hear him over the movie playing on the TV.

“The man who sent you those flowers has already killed five other women.” He stressed, pointing behind you, toward the vase with the white carnations in it. He was surprised that you hadn’t thrown the flowers away after what he and JJ had told you. “Five women’s families are waiting for answers about who killed them. And you could be helping us-”

“I can’t help you, though.” You shrugged. “There are no men in my life. There’s nobody Spencer. There hasn’t been since I broke up with you.” You snapped, giving him a harsh glare - as though you resented him for ruining you, tainting your heart and leaving you broken.

The realization shattered him a bit more. All this time, he had been worried that you had moved on, that you were living a better life without him. But you had been just as lonely as he was - aside from the company of a small child that reminded you more and more of Spencer every single day.

Spencer took a breath, trying to focus.

“Just come into protection.” He pressed. “The FBI will take you to a safehouse, and-”

“A safehouse?” You scoffed. “How is that any safer than the house we’re currently standing in? Does it have bulletproof windows and a steel reinforced door? Or - or is it just a regular house with regular windows, and regular walls, and a regular door? Just like my house?” You chuckled sarcastically, moving to grab the cutting board with the chicken, shoving it into the now heated pan with the back of your knife.

Spencer’s nerves were grated on by your sarcasm.

“Dammit, Y/N!” He shouted, much louder than he intended to. “Can’t you see that I’m just trying to protect you?”

“Yeah, and where the hell was that attitude four years ago when I begged you to-” You swiftly cut yourself off, the words dying off in your throat, not wanting to rip open old wounds.

You tossed the items back onto the counter with a crash, only causing more tension in the air. You took in a sharp breath - suddenly, standing in front of the stove, you felt too hot.

You reached for the edge of your hoodie without thinking, and peeled it up over your head. You were wearing a thin camisole underneath, but surprisingly, your black bra being so visible through the thin white fabric wasn’t the thing that caught Spencer’s eyes as more and more of you was revealed.

There it was.

The four-pointed star necklace that he had given to you on your birthday was sitting in the middle of your chest, right where it belonged, glaring at Spencer, taunting him.

It became apparent to him in seconds that you had been wearing it all day. You had answered the door earlier that day wearing that pale blue hoodie, having no clue that Spencer would be on the other side. You had no reason to impress him, quite angered that he was even there in the first place, actually. So you had been wearing it under your hoodie since before then - since the beginning of the day, likely.

You had been holding it close to your chest as something precious - hiding it under your clothes as a secret, just for yourself.

If there was a single shred of doubt in Spencer’s mind that he had loved you more, that he had missed you more since the break-up, it was gone now. You hadn’t dated other men, and you had silently carried that symbol of him, as if unconsciously beaconing him back to you.

When you finally got the fabric off your head, you instantly noticed him gaped-jawed and staring at your chest. You wouldn’t have called him a pervert, because before you even glanced down to confirm that you had the necklace on - you knew. A terrible guilt struck through your gut, like you had been caught stealing something, and you froze up on the spot.

You and Spencer locked eyes for a moment, and his hands quivered with the terrible need to reach out and touch you - though in that moment, standing just across the kitchen from you, he felt a thousand miles away. He had a terrible need to hold you, yet he had never felt more distant from you. He had never felt more prohibited from touching you since the moment you had first grabbed his hand on that very first date.

How long had you wanted him back and said nothing? How many days had you woken up thinking about him, knowingly raised his son alone, and made no effort to contact him?

“I - I have to go change my clothes.” You said, your voice so utterly small. “Can you watch the stove?”

You didn’t wait for a reply before you turned and whisked off again, clearly too eager to escape the tension.

Spencer busied himself with watching over the food - stirring here and there, and starting the cartoon turtle mac and cheese based on its boxed instructions - trying desperately not to think about what all this meant.

When you came back, you were wearing a simple, light tee shirt. And it was easy to see that you had taken off the necklace and put it away somewhere.

…

Having Spencer there for dinner felt like role-playing as a family.

With Sebastian in his usual seat behind the dinosaur placemat, sitting between the two of you - it felt like something out of a strange, distant dream. He kept looking to Spencer for encouragement when he ate his broccoli and didn’t spill his juice, and Spencer stared at you across the table, having that constant fond look in his eye whenever he turned back to Sebastian or talked to him in that sweet, soothing voice.

Spencer also watched you, and tried to make it seem subtle. You noticed his eyes drifting over to your plate, ensuring that you were eating, as he had done many times before. You wanted to make another snarky comment about him pretending to care, but you kept your mouth shut.

It felt so shallow, and plastic, with the supposed threat hanging over your head; knowing that the only reason Spencer was there in the first place was because he believed that you were in danger.

Yet, it felt like something you had been doing all your life. It felt like just another night. Like Spencer had come home from work to this a thousand times; like you would get up and do the dishes and kiss him and then bring him to your bed for the night. It felt like that’s how things should be.

You really weren’t sure if you loved it or hated it.

You were nearly finished with your food and Spencer’s dinner was half-done, food getting cold on his plate while he encouraged Sebastian to finish up - when there was a knock on the door.

You expected it to be JJ again, pressing you about the protective custody thing. You let out a harsh sigh when Sebastian quickly wormed out of his chair and raced toward the door - eager to answer it himself.

“Seb!” You called after him. “What have I told you about answering the door when Mommy isn’t there?”

You raced after him and uncomfortably grabbed him up with a gut full of food, Spencer trailing behind you awkwardly.

“You’re here now!” Sebastian argued, laughter in his voice.

“Here, go with your-”

You abruptly cut yourself off, stopping yourself from saying ‘go with your dad’.

“Go back to the table with Spencer.” You told him, turning him around and directing him toward the man. You couldn’t bear to look him in the eyes, knowing that he could predict exactly what that verbal near-slip was. “I will answer the door.”

“Come on, bud.” Spencer encouraged him. “If you finish up all your dinner, we can have a treat later,”

He hated to promise something you hadn’t permissed, but he knew that you needed the distraction right now.

You unlocked the door and opened it, fully expecting JJ to be standing there patiently (likely having heard that entire exchange from behind the door). You were surprised when nobody was there, and instead, your eyes drifted downwards to a large brown envelope sitting on the step.

It didn’t seem to have any kind of shipping label on it - just your first name written on the front in bright red ink. It made you startlingly curious, at the same time, caused a tight knot to form in your gut. You picked it up, bringing it inside before you closed the door and locked it again.

You brought it back to the kitchen and placed it on the kitchen island, and of course, this caught Spencer’s attention where he could see you from his place at the table.

“Y/N, what is that?” He asked, unable to mask the frantic worry popping up in his voice.

“I don’t know.” You said, feeling slightly haunted by it yourself.

You moved to open the envelope, and before Spencer could stop you, something echoing in the back of his mind - chirps about potential poison or even a bomb - you had ripped it open and spilled the contents onto the counter.

Your insides quaked when you saw what it was.

Spencer rushed over to look at the items with you, and naturally, this drew Sebastian’s attention as well.

“What is it, Mommy?” He asked, marching over and trying to get a peek over the edge of the counter, but not yet tall enough to see - which you were thankful for.

“Did you finish all your dinner?” You asked, leaning over to look at him.

“I did!” He said proudly, nodding.

“Okay, then, why don’t you go into the pantry and pick a cookie?” You said, hoping that your sudden flood of worry and fear didn’t quake through your voice as you forced a smile for him.

“Okay!” He cheered brightly.

He ran off to the large cupboard beside the kitchen table, eager to pick between the varieties of cookies that you had there.

(Again, he was smart - but easily distracted. That you were thankful for.)

“Y/N-” Spencer gasped when he saw the items that had come out of the envelope.

“I don’t wanna hear it.” You said, your voice now quivering with tears you found yourself unable to hold back. “I don’t wanna hear about how you were right.”

You stared down at the items in horror.

It was several photos of you; very voyeuristic shots of you going about your daily life. Several of them including Sebastian when you had been doing perfectly innocent things - going shopping, playing at the park. Even pictures of the two of you playing in your own backyard. A view of you getting dressed through your bedroom window.

One of the photos - a photo of nothing more than the front door to your home - had a message scribbled across it in bright red marker.

‘Daddy misses you. Be home soon. xoxo’

“That’s not what I was going to say.” Spencer sighed.

He saw how horribly you were shaking - he saw the tears brimming your eyes. This time, he truly couldn’t help himself. He stepped around the counter, and upon instinct, he swept you into a tight hug.

Unconsciously, he caged you away from any potential danger with his arms around your shoulders - holding you like he would have when you had a nightmare or when you shied away from men you considered ‘creepy’ on the subway. Your arms wrapped tightly around his waist, your fingers digging into his back for comfort, clinging to him like you would have clung to a life raft at sea.

You broke into sobs, the sound muffled by his chest, and Spencer’s own heart stung - knowing that the true depth of the danger had finally hit you.

“It’s okay.” He told you. “It’s gonna be okay.”

He rubbed a flat palm across your back, hoping to comfort you in some way, even though he knew that the terror of the whole situation was mounting - and it was a horrible thing to face.

“Spencer-” You sobbed out, unsure what you even wanted to say.

“I’m going to make sure it’s okay.” He said firmly. “You know I won’t let anyone hurt you, right?”

It wasn’t even a question in your mind. The two of you had your problems back in the day, but you knew that Spencer would never let any harm come to you.

You clung tighter to him, savoring the moments while Sebastian was still distracted - likely sneaking more than the singular cookie you had allotted him to have, not that you cared in the slightest right now.

If there was anything else on your mind aside from the potentially crippling fear as the realization truly hit you, any room past the fact that you had been stalked and secretly surveilled by a murderer for weeks now; then you might have considered the fact that when you had woken up this morning, you never would have never thought that Spencer Reid, of all people, would be such a comforting touch to you.

Oh, how things change.

…

Spencer was hesitant to let you go from the hug.

But he had to call the team, because this was an important break in the case. And he had to see what kinds of arrangements they could make for you - if they could find a safehouse for you on such short notice, or if he would be taking you to the field office or the police station.

You cleaned the cookie crumbs off Sebastian and took him to the living room, trying to maintain some sense of calm while you turned on a random cartoon show on cable. He got out a puzzle and you helped him with it while Spencer stepped into the other room and dialed Morgan’s number.

“Hey, Reid.” Morgan greeted him. “How’s married life treating you?”

“Not funny.” Spencer replied, his voice short and frustrated. “The UnSub just delivered another package here. More photos. And a message. ‘Be home soon’. It’s pretty clear that he’s planning on making his move soon.”

“Woah.” Morgan replied. “Well, if Y/N didn’t want protective custody before, then I’m assuming that scared her into complying.”

“Yeah.” Reid agreed. “Where should I bring her?”

“Hold on.”

There were some voices clustered on the other end, and then, the next person to speak on the phone was Hotch.

“Reid… you’re not going to like what I have to say.”

“What is it?” Spencer prodded.

“Morgan and Prentiss got nothing at the library. So far, the only thing we’ve got on this UnSub is the fact that Y/N is likely his next victim, and he doesn’t seem eager to break pattern just because you’re in the house.”

Spencer didn’t like where this was going.

“You’re not insisting-?” He asked, and Hotch filled in the blank for him.

“Our only chance to catch him could be… catching him in the act. We could tie him to the other crimes if we catch him breaking into the house-”

“The house that my son is currently in.” Spencer huffed.

“We could bring the boy into protective custody. And leave Y/N there. We know that he never hurts the children, that’s not part of his MO.” Hotch offered meekly.

“But he gets some kind of catharsis from playing house.” Spencer replied. “If we move Sebastian, that might cause him to break pattern, and he could just move onto another victim.”

Then, something else occurred to Spencer.

“Also, we don’t know how he’s surveilling us.” He added on. “If he sees where we’re moving Sebastian, he might go after him.”

He considered that another woman - someone completely unsuspecting, someone unprepared, someone innocent with no way to defend herself - would be killed if Spencer made the wrong choice. It could be more than one woman if the UnSub got away and simply continued his patterns uninterrupted.

This was more controlled. The UnSub seemed determined to confront Spencer.

Spencer felt that was a confrontation he could win.

“We can have unmarked cars posted on every block. And the minute he breaches the house, you call it in. He won’t get anywhere near them.”

Spencer hated that it was their only choice.

“Okay.”

...

Keep reading here: Chapter Five - Brick By Boring Brick

#sundrop writes #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds #criminal minds fic #spencer reid x reader #dad!spencer reid #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you

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saerotonins · 4 months

Text

actor!yuuji & actor!sukuna headcanons

ft. itadori yuuji and ryomen sukuna

content warnings: fluff, itadori twins au, overall cuteness, implied x reader (separated), jjk manga spoilers, characters are aged up to 20+

wc: 2.3k (jesus christ lol)

note: i miss my little actors so much lol. also, i think this is a bit too long, my bad 😭

jjk actor au masterlist

as twin actors:

believe it or not, jjk is like one of the roles that had them cast together

both of them usually like to play different roles in different shows because they just don't want to be known as each other's twins

love that for them, they're so real for that

but when they were cast, they accepted it since the script and plot were interesting

yuuji is a sweetheart inside out and sukuna is the quieter one between the two, sukuna is soft for his brother though so don't get fooled by his tough persona

yes, he is the older twin LOL and always holds it against yuuji just to be petty

"dude can you get me that can of soda?""why are you ordering your older brother around? have some shame"

yuuji just rolls his eyes but before he gets up and get it himself, sukuna will wordlessly stands up and does it anyway

checks on yuuji whenever he does intense fight scenes

both of them do the stunt themselves since they ate both so physically active

education wise, yuuji graduated as a marketing major and sukuna has a degree in physical therapy

which explains why him and his brother always practice fight scenes together and he helps yuuji with his stance and warm ups!

it's adorable really and he's so tsundere about it too

"no not like that, put your legs this way dumbass" like that typa stuff

sukuna started off as a model but was later on casted because casting agencies thought he has that great villain face

yuuji started off as a side character and really likes acting (he is the theatre kid between the two and sukuna is the quiz bee kid, their mom is BOOKED and busy) and later on recognized because he's just THAT good

yuuji is usually a romance lead or 2nd lead and a slice-of-life guy so when fans found out he will be in an action show, they are excited!

sukuna on the other hand has been casted as a tsundere in romance shows, sometimes a bully and an antagonist in action shows, but a villain that is literally so powerful??? that is so new so his fans are anticipating

both of them usually arrive on the set together (sukuna is the one driving btw and yuuji just sleeps during the trip)

yuuji prepares both of their bento boxes btw

sukuna loves it

he can cook, but that's it LMAO

he won't admit it but yuuji is the better cook

lowkey a picky eater so yeah

ACTOR!SUKUNA HEADCANONS:

sukuna is the intimidating one (obv) so when him and the other casts first met + the first few readings, it was sooo awkward

turns out he's lowkey a goofy guy

has fun with his costars and helps them with fight scenes too, gotta put that physical therapy degree into good use

both him and nanami have this silent bond because whenever they're together they just don't talk and bask in the silence as they sit, they just peace amidst their crazy schedule

also an avid toji fan so when this guy found out he's in the same show with his idol he's almost shitting bricks

let out a really loud cheer when he found out and only yuuji knew about it LOL

has a deep-rooted respect towards him and it's sooo obvious whenever toji is around

he is such a fucking fangirl

he just thinks he's so badass and feels so honored to be casted in the same show as him

feels bad that he has to beat up almost everyone 😭 he is also a sweetheart deep inside

deep inside, he's such a caring and protective brother for yuuji because even though he doesn't have any scenes to be filmed, he still joins him on set whenever time allows him

he may not show it but he's sometimes lowkey terrified about fans tearing him up into shreds whenever he kills their favorite character

imagine sukuna dripping big sweats by the time THAT episode with [redacted] aired oh my GOD he was so fucking nervous considering their fanbase is so big

yuuji has never seen his brother THIS nervous before and he's enjoying it

luckily though, not much hate happened and most of the time it's just memes and playful banter

his ass is barely on social media LOL

in the years of his instagram existing he only has like 90+ posts or even below 😭 usually it's just promotion, being an ambassador, magazine shoots— very lowkey

doesn't have much digital footprint and i love that for him

whenever he posts, his fans are EATING IT UP since it happens every once in a blue moon lmfao

ACTOR!SUKUNA AS YOUR PARTNER:

as tough as he looks, he actually can be quite clingy, just behind closed doors though

lowkey feels bad when he has to beat up children (LMAO) and his co-actors and asks for cuddles from you for comfort

it's actually kind of adorable

sometimes if his schedule doesn't allow him to have time to visit you, you'll get messages like "babe i just beat up megumi :("

since he's not active on social media, he knows some stuff online through you or yuuji

kind of a sad reason why he doesn't go online as much is because as tough as he looks, he's just a guy scared of the hate he's going to have just because he plays a villain or antagonist most of the time

he knows it's not his fault, he just knows that some people just don't know how to separate reality from acting

especially when that scene where he had to off a certain jujutsu sorcerer actor with a huge fanbase

oh boy was he so fucking scared and ran into your arms for comfort :(

he's a softie deep inside ok

when they have to go out of town or even overseas to film, he gets incredibly homesick and misses you so much

expect a lot of "i miss you" messages, including selfies and candid pictures that he took around the set to

practicing his lines with you is close to impossible, this guy gets all blushy and shit because you're in front of him

and since most of his lines are mean as hell, he just doesn't want to be mean to you

he wants to impress you so bad but when you're around he just becomes a little high school boy with a big crush LMAO

he's such a sweetheart deep inside oh my god

when he decides he wants to post a new photo in his ig, you're the first and only person he'll ask for opinions

so this just means that most, if not all of his posts were handpicked by you

wears your matching stuff like accessories on set and gets sad when he has to take it off while filming

when he learned that his character would have face tattoos, the first thing he did was come home to you with his face makeup on (he had to ask his makeup artist to let it stay) and imitate it on your face

i have this headcanon that sukuna knows how to draw (and is very good at it) so it takes almost no effort to draw the tattoos on your face

you two then have a mini photoshoot (aka just taking a lot of selfies) with the both of you with sukuna marks on the face

it looks so cute that he made it his lock screen

he's lowkey such a sap don't let the character he's playing fool you

ACTOR!YUUJI HEADCANONS:

THE MAN THE MYTH THE BABY

he is literally a sunshine in or out of acting

so polite and so kind it's hard to hate him (not that he is even worth hating on)

so naturally, everyone on set loves to work with him!

unlike his brother, before acting, he doesn't really know a lot of fighting stance (he's a marketing major ffs lol) BUT ever since he was casted, he doubled up on his working out routine with the help of sukuna

even invested his time learning boxing which later on paid soooo much

can literally make everyone on set "aww" whenever his script requires him so cry or even witness a gruesome death scene *cough* nanami and nobara *cough*

during breaks, him and nobara do tiktok challenges and even those kpop challenges all the time and the crew enjoys watching them do it and the fans like it too

he does it too with choso and todo

this guy literally has 3 older brothers who are protective of him it's so cute

this man is so talented, he can cook, sing, dance, act, and is pretty smart too during his university days, it's so hard not to be in love with him

the greenest of the green flags (just like nanamin!) the girls the guys the folks LOVE him so much, literally the standard

just like sukuna, he was fangirling so hard when he found out he's going to be in the same drama with THE nanami kento

he's such a big big BIG fan

has a fan account of him on twitter that is pretty popular but you didn't hear that from me

it's so cute when they're together because they're literally THE father and son duo EVER

has the time of his life whenever he visits nanami and his wife's house and just chill there, sometimes brings his first-year trio besties too (both nanami and his wife don't mind at all)

aside from sukuna, he sometimes practices fight scenes with nanami too!

he is so active on social media 😭 interacts with as many fans as he can and posts all the time on ig and twitter

has a lot of cute interactions with fans too

by extension, his account is sukuna's behind the scene account LOL

since his brother doesn't post a lot, sukuna's fans tune in to his posts and stories of sukuna behind the scenes or even just some pictures of him that he doesn't post

some of it are just pics of the brothers chilling or going out

yuuji is literally the sukuna fan's saint because of the amount of sukuna content he's giving them LOL

ok but don't get fooled by yuuji's sunshine personality, because he knows how to bite too

whenever he saw hate tweets his brother is getting for playing a villain, he is quick to respond and defend his brother

lowkey a nightmare for the PR team but they know where he's coming from

and despite sukuna telling him to just ignore it, he appreciates his little brother more than anything

ACTOR!YUUJI AS YOUR PARTNER:

one word: ANGEL

he's literally so lover coded oh my goodness

leaves you some post-it notes on the fridge every single day before he leaves to film

if the trip goes on for days he will leave at least three long love letters for you to read when you miss him and he's busy

creates personal vlogs JUST FOR YOU so if the both of you can't facetime, you'll still know what he is up to

when he was contacted to be the main character of the show, he confided in you whether or not he should accept the offer

don't get him wrong, he is beyond grateful the people think he's capable enough to be the main lead but it makes him nervous

this is his first main character role and the pressure of it all is heavy on his shoulders

he asked for his brother's opinion too but he trusts you enough to talk about his feelings regarding this

of course, when you said that you'll be there with him in every step and support him all the time and do everything to keep the communication between the two of you going despite his soon-to-be hectic schedule, his heart is finally set on accepting the role

you are so proud of him! your baby finally getting the recognition he deserves? hell yeah

his busy schedule was never a barrier between the two of you, yuuji never forgets to update and call you whenever his time permits and he always appreciates every cheer you have given him

type of actor boyfie to show you off his social media platform!

he posts your dates and even hangouts with each other

his fans find it quite adorable and is in love with your whole relationship

likes to do those couple tiktok challenges with you and post them online, you guys even have shippers lol

of course, if you're the lowkey type, yuuji would respect that and will only include you in his online shenanigans when you feel like it or allow him to post it

practicing lines with you is always exciting but never productive LOL

you both just end up giggling and laughing

in the end you just both opt to cuddle instead (or even make our LMFAO)

yuuji just feels so lucky to have his ever-supporting partner along the way

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astrogre · 7 months

Text

People Represented in each House

Including niche examples

Yourself, your persona. You as an individual. Your role models (projection of your ideal self)

Business partners, business collaborators, acting/modelling/any agency you are under. Podcasters you listen to, literal social media influencers, salesman, your self esteem mentors,your real estate agent, your savings coach, your bank, your stockbroker

2H includes people who influence how you earn money. 2H represents people who can influence your personal values and your self esteem E.g a Ben Shapiro to a politically curious individual, the kardashians to a teenage girl. 2nd house can also represent people involved in the maintenance, acquisition and management of your possessions and finances

Your siblings, your neighbours, your relatives like extended family, peers and acquaintances like the people in your class you know of but don’t talk to enough to say they’re your friend, peers, acquaintances, colleagues/coworkers, professors, educational teachers, speaking coach, language teacher

3H is related to intellectual pursuits, learning, just all forms of intellectual development, mercury sits well here. It’s about the people who you interact with daily as they influence your way of communication The individuals here would influence your communication style, interests and knowledge

Your mother (mother figure if you don’t have a mother), your parents but particularly your mother figure, the collective of your whole family, ancestors, caregivers, people that live in your house like your flatmates, your housemates, housekeepers, butlers

4H represents the physical home, the mother, familial connections, nurturers etc. so the people here would be the ones living in it and those who have influence in your domestic life

Your children, your inner child, you as a parent, your nieces, your nephews, romantic partners (short term), artistic partners E.g co-writers, collaborators, people involved in your projects, your students, your mentees, your investors, your hook up partners, people who you gamble or just play games with.

5H represents children, creativity, your mentoring to others, gambling, fun, joyful light love affairs, it’s also ruled by Leo. So we have these people involved with these themes

Coworkers, colleagues, employees, staff (individuals who work under you or provide a service to you), your doctor, your contractors, your nurses, your teammates, your healthcare providers, your therapist, your career coach, your internship mentor, your assistants, your service providers, your pets, your gym colleagues, your fitness instructor, your nutritionist, your organiser, your HR department, your vet

6H represents work environment, daily routines, service, health and well-being, these are the people that you find under that setting

Romantic partners, your spouse, life partner, your closest friends, confidants, allies, your supporters, your business partners, anyone you form a pact with, your clients, your customers (the kind you engage with in professional settings), your lawyers, your legal team, your competitors, your opponents, your matchmaker, your wedding planner, your relationship therapist

7H ruled by Libra represents all relationships that also includes bad ones btw, business relationships, marriage, 7H represents companions, partnerships, professional relationships, legal matters, professional representation so the people that fall under this house would be those that build relationships with you

Financial partners/advisors, therapists, inheritors, beneficiaries (who you inherit from), occult teachers, your intimate long term sexual partners, your accountant, your councillors, your psychologist, your insurance agents, your estate planners, your morticians

8H is associated with death, sex, psychology, transformation, joint resources etc. and so these are the kind of people that 8H would represent

Your professors, your teachers, your spiritual leaders, your priest, your pastor, your favourite scholars, your favourite philosophers, your lawyers, your judges, your legal advisors, your authors, your educational materials, your foreign friends, your foreign connections.

alike to 3H in education but 9H rules higher education so it’s an octave higher than 3H in terms of the teachers associated with it. 9H also represents justice and law so it would include people that work in this field that you encounter

10H

Your father, your boss, your mentor, your manager, people of authority, your parents (father in particular), influential figures you look up to, e.g your fave celebrities, government, politicians, your PR team, your publishers, you as a role model, your admirers like the people who look up to you, influencers, your business, icons

10H association with self-image and reputation and classic Saturn authority would include those who are involved in those themes

11H

Friends, peers. Social activists, humanitarians, philanthropists, inventors, forecasters, visionaries, leaders, community organisers, trendsetters

different from 3H in the sense that with 11H friends, you actually share the same goals and interests in mind whereas with 3H it’s mostly an exchange of communication about these parts of yourself and they are less as significant in your social life compared to 11H type of friends

12H

Spiritual beings, your religion, spiritual forces, your subconscious mind, artists, creative people, writers, hospital patients, prisoners, monks, religious people, volunteers, dreamers, charities.

12H represents those that can derive what is within their inner secluded world and bring it into reality. It’s associated with empathy, mental/spiritual state, seclusion and the bed. The people here would be those that would retreat, help others and tap into realms beyond the physical)

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tommykinard6 · 11 days

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Should I be eating and resting? Yes. Am I? No, so come join me for a dissertation on Tommy Kinard being lonely.

Edit to add a note since I saw a reblog about it: Tommy has no canonical age right now and Lou is 39, 40 later this year, so that is my basis for saying he’s 39.

Now when I say lonely, I don’t mean that he has no one whatsoever. I can picture him going for drinks with his team or having some Muay Thai buddies that he could call up if he really was inclined. Maybe an old army buddy or two.

But there’s something about Tommy that’s just achingly lonely, both when he was at the 118 and now at Harbor.

Tommy had a broken home, or some other kind of unstable childhood. Maybe his parents split, maybe he was mistreated, maybe he was in the system or was passed around family members. Maybe he was isolated as a child because he was a little overweight (I think Lou said something along those lines) and was bullied. I think Tommy didn’t really have any friends until high school, when puberty hit and maybe he started working out and probably joined the football team. I don’t know if anyone remembers what teenage boys are like, but I can imagine they were the same as they are today back in the 90s/early 00’s. Because around this time, Tommy might’ve started to realize that something was very different about him.

Now this isn’t a meta about how I think Tommy dealt with his sexuality (maybe I’ll do one of those later) but I think he never would’ve risked his football friends knowing even if he himself could acknowledge it, which I doubt. So he messed around, got in trouble with these guys, hung out with the bros, and pretended to be interested in girl talk.

Of course, eventually, his buddies all got girlfriends and he was always the odd one out again.

He didn’t do college. The army was his next step. And I feel like this might have been the first time in his life he wasn’t lonely. He’d learned to blend in by this point and he worked with some great people. But as he started making real friends for the first time, he also started losing them as the war tore them away.

Tommy left the army and joined the fire department. There was an aching hole where the camaraderie of the army had filled previously and with no education beyond a high school diploma, Tommy thought the fire department would replicate that. Not the police though. He’d had enough of guns.

(And ohhhh now so many ideas on his thoughts during the sniper)

But he ended up at the 118 and quickly realized that his team had maybe more of a DADT stance than the army. He realized that he had to put on an elaborate act to fool his fellow firefighters, who had more time on their hands and more prejudice they were willing to wield to pick apart his life. Tommy, who maybe had only just started to acknowledge he felt differently about guys with less panic than before, had no choice but to backslide. He acted and acted and crafted a person he wasn’t until the day that maybe he was. Sal was his closest buddy at the 118 and Tommy had no doubt that Sal would be one of the first to make his life hell. Gerrard seemed to look at Tommy as some sort of mentee. Boxed in by two notorious bigots, Tommy had never felt more claustrophobically alone.

Chim was the first one to reach out a hand of friendship, or at least the first one that didn’t come with caution tape, but he was also an “other” and Tommy, who was confused and afraid and had just had his captain call his bluff on his fake girlfriend, lashed out. Then he allowed Chim in and Chim wasn’t interested in being besties but he was a great drinking buddy and movie buddy and Tommy felt safest around him.

Then Hen came and Tommy watched her get the same treatment he was afraid of. Not that he had to worry about the racism, and he was aware of the privilege, but Hen didn’t exactly hide herself and he watched them bully his lesbian coworker. He let himself get pulled into it all and hated himself for it, but was too cowardly to break away from it. He wasn’t sure why Hen had forgiven him, but she became the only other person on shift he felt even a little safe around other than Howie. But then Chimney and Hen became best friends and Tommy fell to the wayside. They still included him, sure, but they were always a pair and there was something there that Tommy didn’t know but longed for. A closeness he’d never felt.

A best friend. A juvenile idea to him, but one he’d never truly had.

Then Gerrard was gone and Sal got transferred and the 118 moved forward under Captain Nash, but Tommy felt left behind, even in what was the most united A shift team yet. Because he was over 30 and was starting to be unable to ignore everything that he’d had to hide under Gerrard, as he no longer had a distraction from it.

He’d been a pilot in the army, so he transferred to Harbor. And Harbor was great. He wasn’t best buds with anyone (he was starting to think that was never in the cards for him) but his team didn’t carry the same baggage that the 118 had.

So Tommy started to come to terms with himself. He started to date for the first time and came out to his team. And he had several boyfriends, but most couldn’t handle the job or his baggage or the desperate need he had to be wanted. His most long term partner cheated and the one he fell hardest for couldn’t deal when Tommy was injured on the job. Even within his own relationships, he felt like he was destined to stand alone.

Tommy was 39 years old and alone, as always, when Chimney walked back into his life, dragging an adorable and also extremely hot blonde and a stoic brunette that radiated ex military in a way only ex military could know. And then Hen was there and they were trying to rescue their captain and his wife and they clearly loved each other fiercely and like family.

And as Tommy listened, flying through the remnants of a cat 5 hurricane, he thought to himself that he should’ve never left. Simply just never found himself if only that meant being part of the family the 118 was now. However, he knew deep down that he still would’ve been alone and on the outside.

And they rescued the survivors and Tommy thought that was it but then Eddie wanted to hang out. And they liked the same things and had similar experiences and Tommy couldn’t help the hope. Because the loneliness had grown stifling and now he could breathe a little. And then Evan, the cute blonde, wanted a tour of the hanger and he thought that maybe he was being hit on.

And then at the end of it all, Tommy was left realizing that he’d wedged himself between two best friends and that was what happened when he allowed himself to hope. So he went to Evan to apologize. He would get Evan and Eddie to talk to each other and then would fade into the background.

But then Evan was sweet and apologetic and told him that he was part of the 118 family simply by helping them. Tommy couldn’t help it. Here he was, at 39, with a little boy still waiting inside of him to be soothed. And Evan was hot and sweet and Tommy couldn’t help himself.

And he really liked Evan. Evan was adorable. But their first date didn’t go as planned and Tommy knew he was already whipped. So he removed himself before someone could get hurt. Evan deserved better and so did he, even if the loneliness was stifling again.

But then Evan texted him and looked at him with sparkling blue eyes over too sweet coffee and wanted him. Him. He wanted Tommy and to have something with Tommy and he wanted him to come to his sister’s wedding with him.

And Tommy looked at him and saw someone who could finally fill the ache he’d felt his whole life. He saw a man who he knew he wanted to take a chance with. All he had to do was jump.

And he did.

And it wasn’t solved, not immediately and never fully. Too many wounds were left gaping for too long to ever heal. But for the first time in his life, at 39, with the 118 surrounding him and Buck as the sunshine at his side, Tommy finally felt at peace.

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thechekhov · 3 months

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Dungeon Meshi Quick Reacts: CH45

Slumber party!

Fair, but consider: She deserves a little murder. As a treat.

Kabru be like "IS THAT MY BACKSTORY???"

That sure is....a ship. With no one on it.

Ah, shit the Americans are here.

Two things: Toshiro being tended to like a pretty pretty princess is hilarious.

And also, the fact that they think the elves can kill Falin......... hmmm.... Pressing X to doubt.

............... oh. Laios. 😂

But also like. How was he MEANT to keep it silent? Put a little something in it? I thought since it was a magic bell you could code it to only ring when it's shaken with INTENT?

Fancy ass house.

Also, Namari...........are you hitting that yet? Both of that?

Oh, it's backstory time.

Okay one: that's fucking tragic, it sounds like the Elves are just forcing the dungeons closed with no regard for how the ecosystem compensates and what people suffer by being in close proximity......

And another thing: Kabru. Kabru, isn't that what YOU'RE after? Having all the power?

Why is this so much like that one meme where the girls at the party are looking at you.

It's the same picture.

Kabru that's. That's maybe not the way to go about it. you're going to give them MORE reasons to go in.

Nevermind the governor not being into this 'good boy, now sign' talk, Toshiro's kinda right. Ya fucked up Kabru.

No matter how far Laios runs, he cannot escape other people trying to tell him how to live his life. Poor guy. But at the same time...

Is this real? Or a red herring?

Laios' father and mother seemed to be living relatively pious lives. They clearly had a good house, but it didn't seem like they were extremely rich. Then again, perhaps he's just a cousin of royalty? Is that why his parents wanted him to have children?

They want to.... halt the growth of the dungeon? Is this another part of the natural ecosystem of things? Dungeons growing seems to point even more towards the idea that it's a gigantic, fleshpit-like creature instead of simply a construct.

Then again, constructs CAN be creatures. Like the golems.

Elves not understanding how old humans are continues to be hilarious because like.

As humans, we HAVE this same concept of variant aging. Like. Dogs. We understand that dogs live less than us, and mature a lot slower. But this is.... COMMON KNOWLEDGE. Most people do not make it into adulthood without understanding that dogs mature within 1-2 years of their birth.

The fact that elves, a species with FAR more time on their hands, who have lived alongside other races for AGES....... have STILL not got the general concept of aging down....means their education is atrocious. Or they're all not paying attention.

.......this. THIS is the most fascinating concept in this chapter.

The fallen.... turned into MONSTERS.

We know that dying inside the dungeon doesn't mean permanent death. But dying above-ground does.

We know that dying in the dungeon doesn't mean your body turns into a monster (aside from ghosts and ghouls?) ..... but dying aboveground.... DOES......?

WHAT'S THE TRUTH.

👁👁

Hm.

If Kabru and Laios fused, they could almost make one functioning human being.

Senshi just beginning to speak in the middle of his own internal monologue is so real.

...... what's going on there with the expression, buddy?

Bread.......are they STILL carrying around flour with them?! How are they getting bread?!

Also, it's awesome that the eggs are canonically hard to crack, because it makes sense that they don't break during their many fighting events.

Izutsumi really said ◉_◉

Don't tell me Laios, who is sensitive to ghosts has ALSO been seeing things?

Not gonna lie, that's highkey terrifying.

Props to that ghost that's been following Laios around, not ever giving up hope that it can bother him into acknowledging it.

And also - hey, it already saved them once! that means it's probably not evil!

That, or it's the king of the bloody dungeon. Wouldn't that be something!

#dungeon meshi #dungeon meshi quick reacts #dungeon meshi liveblog #chekhov reads dungeon meshi

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lovebeinaprincessworld · 1 month

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Another world (Neteyam x reader)

Masterlist

Description: Falling into a world you only knew from a movie wasn’t in your cards, but falling for Neteyam - maybe life dealt you the right ones this time.

Warnings: smut, oral (f receiving), p in v, breeding kind, talk abt getting pregnant, small wounds and blood, talk abt dead parents/grandparents (readers)

Neteyam is aged up to like 21, reader is abt 19, the humans never came back and there’s no spider bc you know I don’t like him ahaha

15716 words

It had been a normal day for you - until it hadn’t. You were on your way home from work, your shift in the dingy little kiosk finally over, and your small apartment was waiting for you. You thought of the empty room that was once your grandmas, who would’ve been waiting for you a few months prior, but now she was gone and you had no one left. She and your grandpa had raised you, when your parents had died in an armed robbery. You were so small you didn’t really remember them, and your grandparents didn’t like to talk about the horrible day their daughter and son-in-law were ripped from them but you saw the newspaper cutouts they kept, and your heart broke everytime you caught a glimpse of them.

They did the best they could with their limited resources and their old age, even if money was tight most of the time, you never once stayed hungry and always felt loved. But now that the both of them were gone, you were all alone in the world and without being able to afford a college education, your future looked really depressing. The only thing you were looking forward to after working was watching your crime shows and crocheting.

You turned left, only needing to cross through the small park now and you would’ve been home, but when you started to descend the stairs at the entrance you were startled by a bright white light at the bottom. Being your clumsy self, you missed a step because of the distraction, your hand not grabbing the (probably disgustingly dirty) handle quick enough and you were falling forward.

Cursing you squeezed your eyes shut, bracing yourself for impact and hoping that the light you saw wasn’t some kind of new human trafficking tactic. But instead of landing on the hard concrete, everything around you turned so bright you even saw it though your eyelids, and when the light suddenly stopped, and you were still falling and falling and falling, you forced yourself to open your eyes.

Your scream got stuck in your throat, on one hand from all the air that was blowing in your face, and on the other from the view that revealed itself. For a moment you forgot that you were falling towards it, and just admired what seemed to be an almost endless jungle, that glowed like the bioluminescent algae you once saw on discovery channel.

But then your brain seemed to catch up after all and you let out a bloodcurdling scream when you realized that - as beautiful as the sight was - it was also coming closer and closer really fast. The only question bouncing around in your head was ‚What the hell was happening here?‘

The canopy came closer and closer and just before you hit it, you squeezed your eyes shut again, shutting your mouth out of instinct and shielding your head with your arms. It hurt like a bitch, the twigs and leaves scratching and slapping you on your way down, but simultaneously you were glad you hadn’t hit the ground or a big branch yet.

The trees were slowing you down quite a bit, but suddenly you did hit the ground with a thud. You just stayed there for a moment, contemplating if you were dead, but then you noticed that the „ground“ you hit, was moving and making noises, and suddenly you were hauled up by your upper arms, and sat on the real ground.

„What the hell?“, someone grumbled from the left and you finally opened your eyes, the adrenaline in your body blending out the pain from your injuries. What the fuck. What the actual fuck! You were sitting on the ground, surrounded by what seemed to be characters from the movie Avatar, but this couldn’t be real, could it?

You had of course seen the movie, it had been a huge success when you were like 13 or something, but that was a fictional world! This had to be a dream or something - nope it wasn’t, you were pinching yourself so hard you were sure you would bruise and you were still there - or maybe you died when you fell down those stairs? Oh god, oh god they were staring at you and damn they were tall what were you supposed to do oh-

„Who the hell are you?“, asked someone you immediately recognized - your brain was digging for the right memories. „I-I’m (Y/N)“, you stuttered out, your eyes wide opened as you scanned the people around you. The one who asked your name was Jake Sully if you remembered correctly and next to him should be…Neytiri. You didn’t recognize the others, but they liked a lot younger, there were a girl and two boys, the older looking one sat on the ground next to you and you realized you must have fallen on top of him. Your brain wasn’t really catching up to what was happening, and they seemed just as confused.

„Where did you come from?“, Jake’s eyebrows were now furrowed like he wasn’t sure what to make of you. „I’m from…I’m from Chicago? I really don’t know what happened I swear, I was just walking back from work and there was t-that light and I fell down the stairs and then I was falling and falling and oh god this can’t be happening, this is only supposed to be a movie-”, you were panicking and rambling on and on until Jake and Neytiri exchanged a look, and he bend down, effectively shutting you up.

„Okay take a deep breath kid“, he urged you and you did your best to force air into your lungs, suddenly wondering why you could even breathe here. If you remembered correctly the humans couldn’t breathe on the planet in the movies, and almost out of reflex you looked down at yourself, a helpless and kinda pathetic squeak leaving your mouth when you saw you were blue. „What the hell, why am I blue“, you didn’t even care about all the scratches that adorned your skin, the only thing that registered in your mind was that you were the same color blue as the people around you, you were even wearing the same stripes, just your clothes remained the same.

Your breathing picked up the more you panicked and before Jake could try to calm you down again, you passed out.

—————————

Neteyam watched the girl fall unconscious, and caught her quickly before she hit her head on the ground. It was weird, almost like an instinct. Since she fell on top of him he was a bit dazed - partly because he was questioning where she was coming from - but also because he was charmed by your beauty.

It was confusing, there were lots of beautiful girls in his clan, but the one that seemingly fell from the sky (from a weird place called sheekago?) and laid in his arms, made his heart pound in an unknown way. Before he could dwell on it, his family interrupted his thoughts and he finally snapped out of it.

„You think the sky people came back ma Jake? Is she with them?“, Neytiri looked at the young woman with suspicion, but Jake only shook his head and slowly pointed to the atokirina floating down from everywhere, landing on you for a moment before spreading into the forest again. „Eywa“, Kiri whispered, and looked at the girl with a small knowing smile.

————————

You woke up and the first thing you noticed was the dull pain all over your body. You were confused for a moment, wondering if something happened at work for you to wake up like this, but then you opened your eyes and saw the brown ceiling of a tent, everything came rushing back to you. Oh my god, you were blue, you were a blue alien!

You contemplated just laying there, staring at the ceiling some more and maybe this would all turn out to be alright, but a head popped into your focus. „You’re awake!“, the girl grinned and you cleared your throat a bit, taking a deep breath (as not to panick again) and sat up with her help.

Your body resisted because of all the cuts, but you managed and noticed they had all been treated with some kind of ointment that was a bit cooling. „My name is Kiri“, the girl introduced herself and you mustered a smile, looking around the tent curiously, „How are you feeling?“

„Kinda hurts“, you sighed and she smiled at that. „Considering you fell from who knows where, you’re pretty lucky! Also lucky that Neteyam cushioned your fall“, she grinned a bit, and you figured he must be the young man that sat next to you in the ground earlier. „Ugh that must’ve hurt too, is he okay?“, you worried that your first impression in this new world (or parallel universe or whatever) was already a bad one.

„My brother’s fine don’t worry“, she reassured you, „I’m going to get my dad, he said to tell him when you wake up!“ She gave you one last nod, before disappearing out of the tent and leaving you alone with your thoughts. This really didn’t feel like a dream, and you were starting to feel like it was a more permanent thing, but you were forcing yourself to stay calm.

Was ist really so bad? You didn’t particularly enjoy your life back in your universe or on your planet or whatever, so maybe this would be okay? Of course you had a few friends, but you worked so much to make ends meet, that you barely saw them, but other than that there wasn’t much.

You sat there and tried to rack your brain for any helpful details from the movie you would need, but you felt like the plot itself must already be like 20 years in the past here if your guess that Kiri is Jake’s daughter is right. You remembered the people living here were called Na‘vi and that they won a war against the humans and most of them left except for a few allies (you remembered the face of that one science guy that came here with Jake in the movie).

And of course you remembered the love story between Jake and Neytiri, which means if Neteyam is Kiris brother, he is also their son. „Hey there“, you were startled out of your thoughts by Jake, he was already kneeling next to you, but you must’ve been so lost in thought that you didn’t notice. „Oh! Hey“, you smiled timidly, not sure what would happen now, and suddenly well aware that you were practically defenseless and they could just abandon you in the jungle.

„I hope you feel a bit better?“, he started the conversation and you just nodded, a bit shy under the leaders gaze. Suddenly another woman entered the tent, and after a second your brain pulled out a name that sounded right - Mo‘at. „Is she feeling better?“, she asked Jake, a strict look on her face, making you shrink a bit.

„She hadn’t got a chance to answer yet“, he grinned and you immediately relaxed with his layed back attitude. „I do“, you nodded and hugged your knees to your chest for comfort, „still hurts a bit, but it’s better, thank you.“

„Do you think you can walk? Maybe we can figure out what happened over dinner, hm?“, Jake rose from his squatted position and held out a hand for you, and you nearly flinched when you saw that your own hand reaching for his was blue. You definitely had to get used to that, and you also would like to look into a mirror sometime soon.

You silently followed behind him, you knew he probably adjusted his pace to yours, you were really slow and limping a bit. Plus you were simultaneously taking in everything around you in wonder - it looked just like in the movie, but even more beautiful and majestic. It seemed to still be nighttime, so you couldn’t have been passed out for long, and you were overwhelmed by the glowing flora and fauna.

You were so distracted that you didn’t notice Jake stopped and you ran straight into his back. „Oh sorry“, you blushed and looked down, god could you make any more of a fool out of yourself? „Don’t worry kid“, he reassured you, and then pointed upwards into the big tree you were standing infront.

„For familydinner we have to climb up there, you think you can manage? Just follow my footsteps okay?“, you wondered if that was the military man speaking - wanting you to climb a tree when you had just fallen from the sky - but you had no choice, so you did your best. Jake was way quicker than you, but you did make it at least halfway before you cuts and bruises were taking too much of a toll on you.

„I’ll get her“, you heard quietly from somewhere above, Jake was already out of sight - it seemed like his muscle memory kicked in and he forgot about you until he was up there. You didn’t dare look down, you had always been a bit frightened of heights and were trying to hold on to your courage. Your heart was still thrumming in your chest and almost leapt out of it, when suddenly a tall Na‘vi landed next to you.

You bit back a frightened squeak and looked up at the familiar figure with big eyes. Neteyam. The one you fell on top off. Ugh, talk about embarrassment. „Are you alright?“, he asked, and it was the first time you heard his voice, since you passed out in the forest before you could. It was rich, dark but more sultry than his dads and made a shiver run down your spine involuntarily.

„(Y/N)?“, he smirked a bit and you couldn’t help but notice he remembered your name. But then you realized he was waiting for an answer and you were staring at him like an idiot. „Oh sorry! Uhh yeah, I’m just not used to climbing trees, plus I still kinda hurt all over“, you grimaced and looked up at him. It was crazy how you seemed to be in a Na‘vi body yourself now, but he was still towering over you by more than a head.

„Yeah my dad is like that sometimes, he forgot he was supposed to help you up until he was already at the top“, he chuckled making, „I’ll help you.“ You agreed and thought he would just pull you up now and then, but instead he firmly but still mindful of your injuries, hauled you onto his back and climbed the tree with you clinging onto him in shock.

You were up there three times faster than you were climbing before and he carefully set you down in the hut that was build in the tree. „T-thank you“, you were beyond flustered, you remembered - and saw here - that the Na‘vi had no problem with lots of naked skin, but only wearing a torn up summer dress and being pressed to Neteyams muscular back made you blush.

„You’re welcome sevin“, he grinned, but before you could ask what that meant, you were interrupted by his family. You swallowed and shrunk under their gazes, but you kind of felt safe with them, so you settled down around the food and started taking.

—————————

„That is crazy“, Lo‘ak was the first to break the silence you ended your story about what happened. And god was he right, it really was crazy. „Like I told you, it was Eywa“, Mo‘at looked a bit smug that she had been right from the start it seemed. It made the most sense that Eywa sent you here - considering the light, that you didn’t fall to your death and the atokirina the Sullys told you about.

You knew all their names now, Jake and Neytiri had Neteyam, Lo‘ak and Tuk, and Kiri was Grace‘ daughter - adopted by them. They were still speechless from what you had told them, reciting a summarized version of the movie to prove you were telling the truth and they didn’t know what to say.

„I think we should all probably sleep on this, it was a really long day“, Jake pulled everyone out of their thoughts, earning nods from everyone and and uncertain expression from you. Where would you go?

„Come on, you can sleep in my hut for now“, Kiri beckoned you to follow her and you were relieved they didn’t move you somewhere else, somewhere you would feel even more alone than here. „Thanks“, you told Kiri and then turned to the other Sullys, „and thank you for dinner and helping me!“ The Sullys wished you a good night, but only one particular pair of eyes on you made your heart speed up.

—————————

You had tried to keep it together the first few nights, thankfully falling asleep as soon as your head hit the hammock, because you were so exhausted. But it seemed like today it really sunk in that this would probably be your life from now on and you’d be here for the rest of it too.

You had been turning in your hammock too many times already trying to find sleep, so you finally gave up when the loud jungle noises drove you crazy and as quietly as possible snuck out the hut and onto the small platform in front of it, sitting down with your legs dangling in the air.

And then came the tears. It wasn’t that you were overly sad or missed your old life, it was just so so much to take in and so insanely overwhelming (you were blue for gods sake!) that you just couldn’t keep it together in that moment. And maybe you were mourning your old life a bit, but who could blame you for that - all the memories connected to your grandparents possessions, and maybe even your shitty job and apartment.

Trying to cry silently, you winced when someone sat next to you. „You okay?“, Kiri asked, bumping you gently with her shoulder in sympathy. „Yeah“, you tried to wipe your tears away, but she already saw them.

„And now again, but with an honest answer“, she squeezed your arm in encouragement and the tears were falling freely again, „are you okay?“ „Not really“, you sobbed, and to your surprise she immediately took you into her arms, making you feel comforted.

„You miss your home?“, she asked quietly while looking out into the glowing forest. „A bit, but not really it wasn’t a nice life I had there it’s just…a lot of change“, you mumbled and she hummed in understanding, continuing to hold you til you had cried it all out. Maybe that was what you needed in the first place - just to let it all out once and for all.

—————————

It had been almost two months already, and you were settling in as much as you could. You didn’t really miss your life back where you came from, putting your handcraft-skills to use was so much more fun than working in that dingy little kiosk. Plus, eventhough you didn’t have that many friends here, you were really close with Kiri and she was a much better friend than yours back at home. You two bonded over being kind off the weird girls of the clan, her with her deep connection to Eywa and you being the demon girl who fell from the sky.

It took some time getting used to your new body, you had looked into a mirror the second day you were here, and it surprised you that you still kinda looked like yourself, but you also didnt. You liked it though. The tail took some more time, as did the ears, because they more often then not acted without your permission and betrayed how you felt. But in true Omaticaya fashion, you were wearing the traditional tweng and chest covers (eventhough you felt a bit exposed at first), first borrowed from Kiri, but she quickly showed you how to make your own.

Other than Kiri, only Lo‘ak, Neteyam and of course little Tuk were honestly nice to you. The other Omaticaya girls your age either thought you were weird because of where you came from, or they seemed to dislike you because you interacted with Lo‘ak and Neteyam a lot - at least that’s what Kiri told you. You had just laughed at that, they were both nice and handsome of course and you might even have a little crush on the oldest Sully, but from what you’ve learned over the last months, he was the most sought after bachelor of the clan, so no way would he be into some former human who spend her day weaving with his little sister.

The Sullys (weirdly enough even Neytiri) took you in and Kiri didn’t mind sharing her hut with you for now. All the older Sully kids had their own smaller huts in the trees surrounding the family’s main one, so they had privacy until they moved out once they found a mate. They were all old enough to choose one already, but neither had picked one yet.

You on the other hand were reluctant to think about a future here, because you never knew if one day you would encounter that bright light again and be swept off back to your own world. You tried to blend that out in your everyday life here, but it was always looming over you.

The only thing you were missing from earth were books. Like, you loved going swimming with Tuk, foraging with Kiri or strolling through the forest with Neteyam when he wanted to show you something. But when you were alone, you really missed reading a good book. Which was why you were currently one the way back from the human outpost, having exchanged the book Norm gave you a week ago for a new one. Weirdly enough they actually did have quite a lot physical copies of books, curtsy of Grace from what Norm told you.

It was almost eclipse now, the forest starting to awaken in bioluminescence. Uh oh, this wasn’t good, considering you went alone when you shouldn’t have (but you didn’t want to bother anyone) and now you weren’t even halfway back to the village with nothing to defend yourself if you stumbled upon a predator.

Clutching the worn out copy of ‚Twilight‘ to your chest, you hurried along the familiar path and just crossed your fingers you would be fine and no one would find out you went alone. Eventhough your ears were alert, you were still tremendously startled when Neteyam suddenly landed infront of you. You stopped in your tracks as not to run into him and let out a frightened sound, before realizing who it was.

Oh no, he looked kinda angry. „What do you think you’re doing syulang?“, he sounded accusatory and eventhough you started to get a hang of the language, he refused to tell you what the little nicknames meant he called you. Consequently his siblings refused to aswell when you asked them, but not without giving you a stupid grin.

„I-I just wanted a new book?“, it sounded more like a guilty question then the innocent answer you wanted it to be. „Alone?“, you could see he was gritting his teeth trying to stay calm. „I didn’t want to bother anyone, it’s not that far! You didn’t have to come looking for me we’re almost there anyway“, you tried to protest weakly, eventhough the thought that he noticed you were gone and came looking for you (and knew you good enough to know where to look) made your heart race pathetically.

„Good thing I did though“, he raised an eyebrow and suddenly threw a small knife into the bush next to you, an animalistic howl ringing in the air before it was silent, „there was a stray viperwolf following you the last few minutes.“ Okay, maybe he was right after all and you really shouldn’t wander of too far on your own, especially not in the dark.

„Thank you“, was the only thing leaving your lips and Neteyam just rolled his eyes. He could never stay mad at you, even if he was angry with you for being so careless with your safety. Eywa, he really had a weak spot for you. Even now, looking so guiltily with your eyes glued to the forest floor, he thought you were the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Ever since you fell on top of him, his heart felt like it was fate that you came into his world. He could see his siblings were suspecting his infatuation with you - considering their glances and smirks. But he couldn’t help that he was protective, even if his siblings giggled when he told them he was going to search for you earlier.

He was glad he did though, he didn’t want to think about what could have happened to you. Plus showing off in front of you was an upside too. „Come on, let’s get you home“, he ushered you forward, not able to resist his tail slipping around your thigh. Your own tail swaying behind you restless as a reaction made him smirk.

—————————

„That’s really what the book is about? That’s crazy“, Kiri laughed while you two walked to communal dinner. Most of the time the Sullys ate here with the rest of the clan, only sometimes would they eat in private. „Don’t judge before you read it“, you chastised her with a grin, but you got her - especially in this world a love story about vampires must sound insane.

You two settled down in your usual spot at the edge of the busy clearing, waiting for the hustle to calm down a bit before getting your food. „Yeah, no I’m defiantly judging. But to your credit, if you read something like that you must really be a hopeless romantic“, she dramatically held her heart and fanned her face in mockery, making you giggle and pinch her side.

„Who’s a hopeless romantic?“, a familiar voice interrupted your conversation, making you blush immediately. „Not me“, Kiri said with a grin, and when she saw what her brother was carrying it got even wider. „It’s nothing“, you just shook your head and your heart jumped a bit when Neteyam sat down next to you. He normally ate with the other hunters or his friends, and sitting next to him made you incredibly nervous. Especially because of all the eyes on you.

To your relief everyone minded their own business relatively fast again, and you noticed Neteyam was looking at you. „What is it?“, you were curious now, looking up into his kind eyes, ignoring Kiris chuckles. „Here, I brought you dinner“, you only now noticed he had two leaves with freshly cooked meat on them in his hands.

„Oh thank you!“, you were suprised, but kinda glad you didn’t have to make your way though the crowd yourself. „It’s from the hunt today, I brought the sturmbeest down by myself“, he smirked, and you nodded trying to seem impressed. You weren’t really in the hunting game plus you weren’t even sure what a sturmbeest looked like yet, but it was cute how proud he was.

„Wow, that’s cool! Thank you“, you smiled at him in appreciation and he gave you a blinding smile. „Nothing for me brother?“, contrary to what she said, she didn’t look mad - she was wiggling her eyebrows with a grin. „Ahh get lost Kiri“, Neteyam waved his hand in a dismissive gesture, but he actually seemed a bit embarrassed - was he blushing?

Kiri just rolled her eyes and left to get food, leaving you two alone. „What was that about?“, you smiled and he gave you a roguish little smile. „Nothing yawne, just eat“, he urged you with a gentle hand on your elbow that made your skin tingle. Huh, that was a new nickname, you wondered what it meant.

—————————

You shouldn’t have let Lo‘ak convince you. But you wanted to see an ikran so bad! You hadn’t wanted to ask anyone in case it was like something private or sacred not to be shared, but when Lo‘ak offered to take you to see his ikran when you were both in the village bored out of your mind, you had only needed a bit convincing to leave without telling anyone.

You werent sure if you really weren’t allowed to go, but Neteyam always seemed hell bent on keeping you from each and every risk possible, so you assumed that extended to encountering an ikran.

„Come on (Y/N) don’t slow down!“, Lo‘ak always seemed to have an infinite amount of energy and you did your best to keep up with him without falling on your face. „Are we almost there?“, you called ahead, just narrowly avoiding a branch that would’ve knocked you in the head otherwise.

„Yeah just a bit ahead“, he called back and you rolled your eyes - this was the fourth time he said that. But it seemed like he was telling the truth this time, because you broke out of the treeline and stopped on a wide open cliff, looking out onto the hallelujah mountains.

„Wow“, you were amazed by the sight, Lo‘ak grinning cheekily at your stunned face. „Pretty cool, huh?“, he asked, bumping you with his shoulder and you only nodded. Your brain couldn’t make sense of the flying rocks, making it even more magical.

Lo‘ak suddenly whistled and after a moment or two, a mighty beast shot upwards from the abyss infront of the cliff, startling you so much you let out shocked yelp. Lo‘ak snickered at his successful attempt to mess with you - and then his ikran landed infront of you.

It was towering over the two of you, screeching at Lo‘ak like a greeting and eyeing you with alert. „He’s a sweetheart, just don’t look into his eyes“, he was already petting the dragon-like creature. You immediately averted your eyes towards the ikrans body rather than his head.

„Come here slowly“, Lo‘ak motioned for you to move closer and you did, trying to keep calm as not to startle the creature who could probably eat you with two bites. „Here“, he smiled when you were standing next to him, taking your hand and laying it onto his banshee, the creature not startled by another hand on his back.

It felt similar to a snakes skin, but the colors were even more intense up close. „This is so cool“, you breathed and could almost feel his proud smile. You knew it wasn’t always easy for the younger Sully, but it made you happy how carefree he seemed in moments like that.

„Neteyam might kill me when he finds out, but you wanna go for a ride?“, he grinned mischievously. „Are you kidding? Hell yes!“, you nodded in excitement, infected by Lo‘aks troublemaker vibe, the thought of messing with perfectly correct Neteyam a bit (even if you thought that part of him was adorable) making you grin too.

„Come on then!“, he hopped into his ikrans back with ease, pulling you up behind him. „Hold on tight!“, was the last warning he gave and then you were off, flying and maneuvering the hallelujah mountains with excited squeals and shocked gasps when Lo‘ak wanted to show off.

„This is amazing!“, you called, taking in the otherworldly view around you and the thrilling feeling of flying on a banshee. Lo‘ak only laughed, and suddenly dipped down straight, making you squeak in terror.

It had been about an hour or so, when he suddenly stiffened a bit. „Uh oh, the fun police“, he groaned, and when you looked over his shoulder you saw Neteyam on his ikran, a bit farther away.

With a sigh, Lo‘ak was making his way over to the cliff where you started from, landing there and helping you down before bidding goodbye to his banshee. As soon as he was gone, Neteyam landed. His ikran was a mighty beast, even bigger and a bit meaner looking than Lo‘aks and the rider himself looked just as mad.

„What are you two doing here?“, Neteyam was addressing Lo‘ak right away, not even looking at you, and to your shock he was basically seething. „We were bored so I offered to show her my ikran“, to his credit Lo‘ak didn’t even flinch under his brothers angry glare, only rolling his eyes.

„Why do you always have to do the things you’re not supposed to?! Take things that aren’t yours?! Putting others in danger?!“, Neteyam was basically shouting, and even Lo‘ak looked a bit startled by his brothers intense reaction.

„Neteyam it wasn’t his fault“, you tried to calm down the older Sully, but it only seemed to work a bit when you gently squeezed his upper arm. „Yeah sooo I’m gonna go“, Lo‘ak took the chance to dip now that Neteam was distracted for a second and Neteyam almost went after him if it hadn’t been for you hanging onto his arm.

„Don’t be like that, he just took me flying. I don’t think I was ever in any real danger“, you tried to look as innocent and sweet as possible as not to get yelled at too. Neteyam looked down at you for a moment, scanning you over once and then sighing, losing all the tension he previously had.

„Yeah you’re right, it’s not really about the risk, it’s just that…“, he started but let the sentence hang in the air, turning his head away from you and you were wondering what was happening. „Come on, you can tell me“, your hand slipped down his arm almost on its own, taking his hand in yours and making him look back at you.

„If you wanted to see an ikran why didn’t you ask me?“, he looked a bit embarrassed when he finally spilled what he was bothered by and you were taken aback for a moment. „I didn’t necessarily want to see an ikran, I was just bored and Lo‘ak was free - if you would’ve been around I would’ve asked you Neteyam“, you didn’t know why exactly he was so bothered by Lo‘ak taking you to fly.

„You…wanna meet mine too?“, he motioned to the beast behind him with his head and a hopeful glint appeared in his eyes. „I‘d love to“, you agreed, happy to see his spirits lifted again, „but makeup with Lo‘ak later okay? And don’t be so hard on him.“ He begrudgingly agreed while pulling you over to his banshee, who didn’t look so mean anymore now that his rider wasn’t angry either.

—————————

Every once in a while the Sullys had family dinner together in their hut and not in the communal area with the rest of the clan, just like tonight. It was a bit chaotic but you loved it - and you especially loved that they naturally involved you as part of it.

Everyone was there already except Neteyam, and you were settling down in the middle of the hut, the food laid out in the middle. Lo‘ak was still in the corner, filling his waterskin, and was about to make his way to sit in the free place next to you, when his older brother came in, a bit out of breath.

„Sorry I’m late, incident at training“, he explained, and you had to look away quickly before your gaze would get caught on his flexing muscles as he laid down his bow. Kiri next to you snickered - she had known about your crush on her older brother ever since she saw you ogling him when all of you were at the river.

You didn’t really catch what happened next, only seeing Lo‘ak who was almost standing next to you, about to sit down, and suddenly it was Neteyam who sat there (closer than his brother would’ve ever sat), and a grumbling Lo‘ak was walking away to sit down next to his mother, who seemed amused by her eldest behavior.

Before you could dwell on it too much, your train of thought was interrupted by Jake, but the way Neteyams thigh brushed yours when he helped you to some food (he was such a sweetheart), before helping himself to some, distracted you significantly.

„So (Y/N) tell me, as a former human yourself, what do you miss most about earth, like foodwise?“, Jake addressed you with a grin. The topic of earth was the thing the both of you bonded most over and next to the actual humans here, it was nice to have someone who could empathize with your situation a bit closer. Plus, Jake loved playing these little games with you, even if you were kind of from the past - at least from his perspective.

„Uh that’s a hard one“, you had like a million foods and drinks you missed from earth you missed, „if I had to pick like top 5 I’d probably say Ice cream, Sushi, cheesecake, coffee and maybe a nice cold coke.“

Jake nodded like he approved of your choices and then added, „only thing I’m really really missing is an ice cold beer.“ It was so funny to see the confused looks of the other family members, and maybe that was what actually prompted Jake to talk about this, you thought with a grin.

„Or a bag of chips and Guacamole“, you added and the both of you were laughing while Neytiri fondly rolled her eyes and the siblings just continued eating in confusion. „I’m glad you have someone to play your stupid little games with other than the sky people ma Jake“, Neytiri acted like she was annoyed by Jake’s antics, but you could tell she loved exactly that about him.

The conversation shifted from human food to the training incident Neteyam talked about earlier, but you didn’t really listen, because you were concentrating on eating your food without chocking when Neteyams tail wrapped itself around yours.

———————————

„Come on (Y/N)!“, Tuk beckoned you into the water she was already splashing around in and with a grin you joined her there. All of the Sullys were busy today, so Neytiri had asked if you could accompany Tuk to the Lagoon she was begging everyone to go to for days. It wasn’t that far, so it was safe, Tuks mother reckoned.

„Wanna see how good I can jump?“, Tuk was so excited to finally come here, that she was bouncing around like crazy, but her enthusiasm infected you too. „Of course! Show me!“, you laughed with her, sitting on a rock that was only a little submerged in the lagoon - you could see her jumping from the boulder perfectly from there.

It went on like that for a few hours, the two of you hanging out by the lagoon, talking, laughing and you even decorated her hair with little flowers. It made you a bit nostalgic, back on earth - if you would’ve had the money for college - you would’ve loved being a kindergarden teacher and hanging out with Tuk kinda made you wonder if you were to have your own children some day. You tried to bury the thought of her older brother as their father just as quickly as it came.

„Hey you two!“, as if you had summoned him, Neteyam strolled out of the bushes and Tuk excitedly leapt of the rock you two were sitting on, swimming over to her brother. „Neteyam!“, she threw herself into his arms wet as she was, but he didn’t seemed to mind and only caught her with a loud laugh. Damn, that didn’t really help stifle your previous thoughts.

„You’re having a good time?“, he smiled at her and she nodded vigorously, already moving around to be let down from his arms. „Yes! I wanna show you how good I can jump now!“, before he could even answer, she already ran over to the boulder she was jumping from the last few hours. „Give me a second, I’ll watch from over there“, Neteyam called out to her and when he pointed to you, and dived headfirst into the water like a pro, you had to admit you got a bit wet in your tweng.

He surfaced right in front of you and you could only look at him with a flustered expression - you didn’t think you would ever forget his smirking face right in front of your slightly spread legs. Before you could slip further into a naughty fantasy, he moved to the side and pushed himself up and you had to force yourself to move your eyes as to not ogle his wet and muscular body.

„Neteyam! Neteyam look!“, Tuk screamed before jumping into the water head first and the both of you laughed at her enthusiasm. „I don’t get how she has so much energy, she’s been doing that for hours“, you smiled and shook your head in disbelief. „Yeah, sometimes I wish I had that much energy too“, he grinned and playfully bumped your thigh with his.

God, the size difference between your kinda squishy one (you reckoned you had some human features because the female Navis were all corded muscle) and his thick muscular one was making you flustered, especially when he didn’t pull it away, instead keeping it pressed to yours.

„You did great Tuk!“, Neteyam called over to his little sister who had just emerged and tried to calm his racing heart at feeling you pressed up right next to him. He had waited for you to settle in fully, and it took some time for him to sort out the things you made him feel, but he decided he couldn’t wait anymore and started courting you when he heard the other male hunters talk about making a move on you. The thought alone made his tail move over yours.

Tuk continued showing of her jumps, while Neteyam worked up the courage to give you his gift. You had accepted the meat he gave you at dinner yesterday, the one he had hunted for you, so you should also accept the necklace he made you, but he was nervous still. Taking a deep breath, he fished the jewelry out of the little bag that was strapped to his loincloth and turned a bit towards you.

„I made something for you“, Neteyam said next to you and you averted your eyes from Tuk to look at what he meant. In his hands laid a beautiful necklace out of thin leather stripes with what you identified as gemstones braided in, and it looked almost identical to the one he was wearing. „Really? You made that for me?“, you looked up at him .

Neteyam had to remind himself that his little sister was still jumping around happily a few feet away, otherwise he would have kissed you on the spot. „Yeah“, he was breathless from the way you were staring up at him and the anticipation of your answer to his offering. „It’s beautiful 'Teyam. Can you help me put it on?“, you smiled at him and he almost lost his grip on the necklace when you called him that nickname.

„Of course“, the grin his face was sprouting was making your heart feel like it was expanding in your chest, so you quickly turned around for him to fasten the necklace. His fingers gently brushed your hair to the side and left a path of tingles in their way. The necklace was more like a choker and considering it was a gift from him, the thought sent a slight shiver through you.

When you turned around again, the way his necklace sat snugly against your pretty throat satisfied some primal side of him. Everyone could see who they had to answer to now if they decided to make a move on you, he thought with a smirk. „Thank you“, your pretty blush made him go feral and when you took his hand and squeezed it, he would’ve kissed you - if it hadn’t been for the water suddenly showering you two. „You aren’t even watching!“, Tuk complained, pouting in the water a few feet away.

——————————

„Pretty necklace you got there“, Kiri was smirking at you the next morning, when her, Tuk, Lo‘ak and you went foraging - but instead sat on a clearing and talked. „Oh thanks, 'Teyam gave it to me“, you smiled, your hand automatically reaching for the chocker like it had done many times til he gave it to you. „Teyam?“, Lo‘ak was grinning mischievously and you could feel yourself blush.

„You’re so in love it’s almost disgusting“, Kiri laughed, and you were rendered speechless for a moment. „I think it’s cute! When you two are mated, you’re our sister, that will be so cool!“, Tuk seemed excited, but you looked at them with wide eyes. „Why would we be mated?“, you pressed out and they all paused in their teasing.

„What?“, Kiri asked confused, „what do you mean? He’s been courting you for the last two weeks.“ She was looking at you like it was selfexplanatory. „He’s been what?!“, your voice took on a shrill note and you sat ramrod straight. „He hunted that sturmbeest for you and brought you the meat, sits with you at dinner even if he almost has to take me out for the seat, made you that necklace, took you flying after getting insanely jealous over me taking you for a flight and is way over the top protective over you?“, Lo‘ak looked at you as if you were stupid, but now that they labeled what had been happening as courting, every interaction with him ran through your mind with a different filter.

„You’ve broken her“, Tuk whined and snapped you out of your trance. „He’s…he’s been courting me? Why didn’t he say anything?“, you whispered and were surprised they heard you. „You really didn’t know?“, Kiri looked a bit shocked. „No! I’m not from here, remember? How would I know that? 'Courting‘ in my world is vastly different!“, you started panicking a bit.

„But you like him don’t you? I mean it’s quite obvious you two are into eachother“, Lo‘ak shrugged and didn’t really seem to see a problem here. „I-I do, a lot, but I still can’t mate with him“, you blushed when suddenly you realized what that mating would include but pushed the thought to the side.

„What? Why? Don’t you wanna be my sister?“, Tuk climbed over her older brother in order to sit in your lap, hitting him in the face with her tail in the process, making Kiri giggle. „Oh Tuk“, you cuddled her close, „I’d love to be your sister. I’m just worried about the possibility that one day the light that brought me here will take me back again - and I’d be gone just like that. It’s better not to form such permanent attachments as mating, no matter how much I like your brother.“

„Eywa brought you here for a reason (Y/N). You said you didn’t like your life on earth and I think she sent you here to live a happier life - a life with my brother“, Kiri tried to reassure you, but you still weren’t convinced. „Yeah (Y/N), he’s so in love with you, he’s never acted like that before. There are so many willing females throwing themselves at him, but he doesn’t even glance at them, because he’s only looking at you“, Lo‘ak looked as serious as you’ve never seen him before.

„Promise me you’ll at least talk to him? Soon? But knowing him I can tell you that much - he’d rather take all the time he can get with you even if it’s limited, than not having any time with you at all“, Kiri wisely told you and you sighed, nodding and hugging Tuk closer to you.

„Plus, I really hope you’ll stay here too“, Kiri almost seemed a little bashful, „you’re the best friend I’ve ever had.“ You looked at her and tried to stop yourself from tearing up. „Come here“, you opened your arms and beckoned her to join yours and Tuks hug, hugging her tightly when she finally moved with a roll of her eyes. „You’re the best friend I’ve ever had too Kiri“, you smiled and she squeezed you gently as a response.

„For what it’s worth, I think you’re pretty cool too“, Lo‘ak chimed in from next to you with a grin and after exchanging a mischievous grin, you and Kiri pulled him into the hug too with a laugh, ignoring the groaning Tuk (and Lo‘ak).

It seemed like you really had found a family here too. And it was weird to think that Neteyam really returned your feelings, for gods sake he was courting you! Your heart wanted to jump out of your chest and you just prayed that Eywa would give you a sign or anything else to let you know you would never have to go back and could spend your life here - and that you could accept his advances and stay here with all of them.

————————

Neteyam decided he couldn’t wait anymore and would ask you to be his mate tonight. You seemed to accept his courting and he just wanted you to be his. So he decided to talk to his parents about this, eventhough he was sure they had already heard through gossip that he was courting you - and by gossip he meant Kiri and Lo‘ak.

„Mom, Dad, can we talk for a moment?“, he weirdly enough had found his parents in the same place - they were at home sorting through herbs. He could only guess they were told by his grandmother to do so. At his appearance they stopped their work and he settled down with them. „It’s about (Y/N)“, his mother guessed and gave him a knowing smirk and he was almost offended by how easy he was to read.

„(Y/N)? What about her?“, Jake was confused and Neteyam was reassured that it seemed to at least be only his mother that could see right through him. Then again, his dad was generally pretty clueless about things like that. „Ma Jake, he’s been courting her for two weeks now“, Neytiri rolled her eyes at his dads density.

„What, really? And does she know that?“, Jake asked and Neteyam and his mother were looking at him in question. „She accepted my gifts and the meat I hunted for her, and my offers to spend time with her if you mean that“, Neteyam shrugged and his stomach fluttered when he thought about you.

„No, what I mean is, that she’s not from here, humans don’t 'court' like Na‘vi do, are you sure she knows what you’re doing is leading to you two being mated?“, his father explained himself, „Because I’m not sure anyone ever explained that part of our culture to her.“ Mother and son were in thought for a moment, as they had to grasp the concept that she was from a completely different world - she had adapted so well they forgot about that sometimes.

When none of them said anything, Jake cleared his throat and continued. „I don’t doubt she likes you, even your daft old dad sees that, and I’m not telling you she will say no or anything - just be patient with her because she might not expect it, okay?“, he reassured his oldest son. „Thank you Dad“, Neteyam nodded gratefully and then looked over to his mom, „but the reason I came here for originally was to ask for both of your approval and permission to ask her to be my mate tonight.“

His parents exchanged a fond glance, proud of the man their son had become and proud of his choice. „Of course you have our approval. (Y/N) might not be able to become Tsahìk without training, but my mother and I talked to Kiri about this possibility - and she is more than suited and willing to take on that role when the time comes“, Neytiri smiled encouragingly at her older son, happy that he found someone to spent his life with.

„Your mother is right, you’re perfect for eachother“, his dad clapped his back proudly and Neteyam felt significantly lighter than when he arrived in the family’s hut. „I think you should know that you might need to keep a closer eye on her if you announce your bond though“, his mother looked a bit thoughtful, „I heard that some of the other woman already suspect your affections for her and they don’t seem to be happy about being overruled by what they perceive as an outsider.“

Neteyams previously light mood, darkened in record time. His mother thought they would compromise you somehow? He couldn’t even fathom the thought of you being hurt, but he knew you weren’t the best at defending yourself so if they caught you alone it was absolutely possible. „Don’t worry Neteyam, we’ll all keep an eye on her“, his Dad try to calm him, the dangerous glint in his eyes unsettling him. „Thank you, both of you“, he gestured a goodbye to his parents, „I’m going to find her now.“

—————————

He had been searching for you a while before he found Kiri who told him you were off reading again, on the small Plattform he had showed you weeks ago that was high up in the trees. With a grin he had run off, that actually fit perfectly into his plans. The platform was private and cozy, just right to ask such an important question.

When her reached the tree, it started to get dark slowly and he quickly climbed upwards. He could hear you turn a page when he was close and when he could finally see you his chest got all warm. You were so beautiful, tucked into the corner with the blanket you brought and completely immersed in your book.

„Hello yawne“, he grinned when you were startled and looked at him in surprise. „Don’t scare me like that 'Teyam!“, you playfully scolded him and sat upright, closing your book after marking the page. With a soft smile, he moved onto the platform and sat down on the bouncy material next to you, so close he could see you blush a little - but when you seemed to automatically lean into him a bit, his heartbeat quickened ridiculously.

He didn’t know where to begin. „What is it?“, you looked at him in worry and carefully took his hand, yours so small and delicate in his. He immediately cradled it lovingly. „You always asked me what the nicknames I called you meant“, he started and stroked the back of your hand with his thumb.

„Yes“, you were a bit breathless at the affection he was showing you. „Syulang means flower, because you’re just as unique as every single one on this moon“, he gently pushed a piece of hair out of your face and your eyes widened in wonder. „Sevin means beauty, because you are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever encountered“, he whispered, his tail moving to tangle with yours and your breath momentarily stopped.

„Neteyam“, was the only thing you could whisper, not knowing if you wanted him to stop or to keep going. He sent you a shaky smile and moved his head closer to yours, almost touching your forehead to eachother. „Yawne means beloved“, his breath hit your face softly and you could guess what came next, closing your eyes in agony, „because I love you. Eywa (Y/N) I love you so much and I see you. Oel ngati kameie. I’m yours, if you’ll have me. Be mine? Be my mate?“

You wanted him so bad, you wanted to love him and you wanted to let him love you - but you couldn’t. You couldn’t bare the thought of leaving him behind if you would encounter the light that brought you here again. And you had every intention to tell him, but when you opened your eyes and looked into his golden ones, so full of love and desire you were left speechless.

His hand slipped to your cheek, and you noticed how he moved in even closer - just a tilt of your head and you would’ve been kissing your love. Closing your eyes again, you couldn’t bear to see the heartbroken look on his face as you pulled away from him. „I can’t Neteyam“, you had to force the words out, your heart not wanting to say them at all.

It was silent for a second and you thought maybe he was gone as quickly as he came, but a big firm hand pulling your face back around proved you wrong. „Did I do something wrong? I thought you accepted my courtship, did I read you wrong? Please (Y/N) look at me“, he pleaded with you, the desire and love in his eyes now overridden by panic.

„No! No you didn’t do anything wrong and you didn’t read me wrong I do…I do love you“, your heart couldn’t take hie broken expression, even if you couldn’t be with him you had to atleast make sure he knew it wasn’t him. He brightened up a little at that, but his ears were still low and close to his head. „What is it then? Talk to me yawne, please“, he looked so concerned for you and was so gentle still, that you were sure he would be the right choice if you could let yourself be his.

„I didn’t…realize you were courting me at first, not until your siblings pointed it out to me“, you started to explain yourself, trying to keep your composure. „When they told me I was elated at first that you returned my feelings, but then…then I realized I could be pulled out of this world any moment again, we can’t be sure it won’t happen and I can’t bear the thought of leaving you, especially not after making the bond“, you continued, „not to mention that you’re the next leader of your clan and some people still see me as a demon, it’s not an appropriate match anyway.“

„Bullshit“, Neteyam blurted out after a moment of silence, repeating something that his father said when he’s frustrated. You just looked at him with wide eyes. „You’re perfect for me, the clan will have to deal with that, most of them have accepted you already. I already talked to my parents and they approve yawnetu, Kiri will be Tsahìk when the time comes and they love you, they couldn’t think of someone better for me either“, he ranted on and you had to smile at his vigor to convince you, your hand gently stroking his cheek.

„You forgot the most important part“, you sighed, letting your hand fall down. He caught it and pressed it back to his cheek, not willing to lose that feeling. „I don’t care. I’d rather have only a year, a month or a week with you than not have you at all“, he was desperate, wishing you would just let him love you. „I can’t“, you were on the verge of tears, he could see it and his heart broke even more. „Maybe Eywa sends a sign, letting me know I won’t ever go back, but we don’t know that will happen“, this was worse than all the scenarios he thought about, knowing you wanted him too, but feeling like you couldn’t was torture.

„Do you want to? Go back I mean?“, he suddenly asked, catching you off guard. You were lost in thought for a moment. Back home? Was it even home anymore? You missed your true crime and your crochet, and going to the bar with your friends once in a while, but that was nothing compared to what you’d miss if you would go back. You couldn’t even fathom how much it would hurt to leave all of this behind.

„No. Never“, you shook your head decisively.

—————————

You were essentially hiding from Neteyam the last two days. He was somehow convinced if he would just dote on you enough he would get Eywa to send a sign and you to agree to mate with him. It was probably not working on Eywa, but your resolve on the other hand was crumbling with every sweet gesture and every gentle touch. That’s precisely why you were avoiding him, trying to stop yourself from falling into his arms.

But you couldn’t run forever and Kiri had bullied you into attending communal dinner tonight, so there you were, making your way to your usual spot to meet her. „Evening (Y/N)“, someone greeted you from behind and you stopped in your tracks, and turned around. To your surprise it was Au‘tel, one of the hunters from the clan - not nearly as impressive as Neteyam though. You had to reprimand yourself for thinking about him.

„Good evening“, you smiled at him politely, still wondering what he could possibly want from you. He had never talked to you before now. „I brought you some of the food“, he grinned and held out a portion of cut up fruits, and your eyes widened. Now that you knew what it meant, you couldn’t possibly accept what seemed to be a courting gesture.

You were raking your brain for an acceptable rejection, when you felt him before you even saw him. His hand possessively went around your waist and you could feel your heartbeat in your throat. This wasn’t good. „She doesn’t need you to provide food“, he was basically growling at the other man, you had never heard Neteyam sound so venomously, Au‘tel shrinking visibly under the larger man’s glare.

„Sure, I apologize“, he was gone as suddenly as he came, and you were glad he scurried away instead of talking back, because you were sure Neteyam wouldn’t have hesitated to hurt him. Suddenly you were very aware of how quiet it was around you, the people eating dinner pausing and looking at the scene unfolding infront of them.

Oh god, that were definitely way too many eyes on you, and they were looking curiously at the way their future leader was still holding you closely. And the way some of the other young women were eyeing you with murderous envy was making you panic, pulling yourself out of Neteyams grip hastily and disappearing into the forest quickly. You would apologize to Kiri later.

You were blushing massively and breathing too quickly, not even knowing where you were going. You had to admit it was kind of hot how he staked his claim on you, but then you remembered all the people looking at you, judging you and you were so blinded by the tears that were suddenly running down your face from your feelings that were pulling you into all different directions the last few days, that you nearly missed the steep cliff that suddenly opened up infront of you.

You gasped, trying to stop yourself from falling down into the dark abyss, but you couldn’t catch yourself anymore and you were sure you would’ve fallen hadn’t it been for Neteyam. You didn’t even notice him following you, but thank Eywa he did, pulling you back from the cliff and into his chest safely.

Neteyams heart almost fell out of his chest when he saw you nearly fall down that cliff, holding you even tighter at the thought of what could’ve happened. „You’re okay, you’re okay“, he tried to soothe not only you but him, turning you around and pulling you into a tight hug.

You let yourself be held for a moment, just enjoying the close proximity you had forbidden yourself the past days, before pulling yourself away from his chest and wiping your tears away. He reluctantly let you go, not looking happy with having you leave the safety of his arms. „Thank you 'Teyam“, you mumbled, looking to the ground and trying move around him to go back to Kiris hut to just sleep. You really lost your appetite anyway.

„Don’t go“, he pleaded, trying to hold you back, but you shook him off. „I told you we can’t. You shouldn’t have done that back there, everyone saw“, you looked up at the taller Na‘vi in desperation. „Good. Let them see who you belong to, so no other skxwang will try to make a move on you“, he was basically seething at the thought of that idiot trying to court you back at dinner.

You were stunned at the intensity of his possessiveness for a moment, some primal part of you was urging you to lay down and mate with that perfect male, but you quickly squashed the thought. „Don’t…don’t say that“, you whispered, and Neteyam seemed to realize all too quickly what effect he had on you and stepped closer.

„Why? Does it make you want to mate with me?“, he was smirking, something rumbling deep in his broad chest, his pectorals flexing under your gaze. You knew if you would’ve stayed only a second longer you would’ve given yourself to him - so you ran.

—————————

You knew it was childish and you had to talk about it, but you just needed a day to have some peace and quiet. In the morning you had immediately fled the trees that housed the Sullys huts and settled in a small clearing with a basket to weave and keep you occupied until you were ready to go back.

You were seriously contemplating giving into your heart and accepting Neteyam, but you just couldn’t shake the image of a heartbroken Neteyam if you really would be taken back someday. You knew what happened to Na‘vi when their mates died (and you doubted disappearing would be different), and you didn’t want Neteyam to wither away slowly because of you. Not if he could’ve had a chance to live a happy life with someone else some day if you were sent back - but mating with him and making the bond would rob him of that.

It was already getting dark and you knew you had to go back, so you slowly made your way through the forest, holding your finished basket in one hand. You were a few minutes away from the Sullys huts, when you encountered Saelia, Nes‘ti and Tizon, three of the women who were thought to be picked as Neteyams mate - if it hadn’t been for you.

„Look what we’ve got here“, Nes‘ti laughed when they spotted you and you just looked at them like a deer caught in the headlights. „It’s the demon“, Saelia chuckled darkly, „probably coming from a secret date with Neteyam.“

Oh no, this wasn’t going to turn out pretty, you thought as they stepped closer to you. „I don’t see it, do you?“, Nes‘ti was eyeing you in mockery. „No, no I really don’t“, Tizon cackled, and they exchanged glances. „See what?“, you had the courage to ask, but realized immediately that was stupid. They suddenly dropped the fake humor and looked at you in rage.

„See whatever the hell he sees in you!“, Saelia spit out, taking a step forward and startling you. „Yeah we have been wondering what it could possibly be, you’re not even one of the people, and you managed to take Toruk Maktos eldest son“, Tizon pushed you back by the shoulders, and you stumbled back, luckily catching yourself.

„Yeah, he’s been completely ignoring us ever since you fell out of the fucking sky!“, Saelia seemed to be seeing red and suddenly pushed you back way harder than Tizon did, making you stumble and you turned trying to catch yourself. Your foot got caught on a root, and you fell head first against a rock laying on the ground, effectively splitting your forehead open.

„You shouldn’t have done that!“, you heard them bickering behind you. „What?! You did it too!“, someone hissed back, and you felt them scurry away quickly, now that they realized they injured you. Groaning you sat up, already feeling the blood running down your face. Great. This was just great.

——————————

„Ouch“, you hissed as Neytiri cleaned the cut on your forehead, but her grip on your chin stayed firm. „Now, tell me how this happened, and no lies this time“, she berated you. Maybe trying to sell that you only fell wasn’t the smartest idea with her - would’ve worked with Jake though. „It was just those stupid girls, pestering me about Neteyam“, you sighed and she looked down at you in concern.

„They hit you?“, she inquired further, putting some paste on the cut now that it stopped bleeding and it immediately soothed the stinging. „No, they pushed me around and I tripped“, you recounted the events from earlier, and looked up at her. She finished up with your cut and sat down next to you in her family’s hut.

„And now tell me what else is bothering you child“, you rarely saw her this gentle and took a deep breath. „It’s just… Neteyam and I-“, you were suddenly interrupted by Neteyam and Lo‘ak coming into the hut, and your eyes immediately found his.

„What the hell happened“, against your expectations Neteyam was deathly calm while looking at the cut on your forehead. This seemed to be even worse than his anger, considering his mother and brother left the hut immediately. You were scrambling up, standing on the woven material the floor was made out of, and tried to think of something to say.

Neteyam crossed the space between you in seconds, cradling your face gently despite his obvious anger simmering underneath the surface. „What. Happened.“, he asked again, and as if he could sense you were trying to think of an excuse he added, „and don’t even think about lying to me.“

„It…it was just those girls“, you started, but his eyes told you his anger was flowing over. „They didn’t mean to! The were just pushing me, I fell by accident“, you tried to calm him down, because eventhough you didn’t like those girls, you didn’t wish Neteyams wrath upon them either.

„Nobody hurts you“, he hissed, his jaw clenched tightly, letting go of you slowly and turning towards the door. „Wait, don’t do this Neteyam“, you tried to hold him back, but he was walking towards the entrance with purpose, and you just stood there helplessly thinking of things that could convince him to stay.

„Neteyam! Please!“, you called for him, but it seemed like he was in tunnel vision, not snapping out of it. So you did the only thing that came to your mind right then. „Kiss me!“, you blurted out, and that indeed made him stop in his tracks.

„What did you say?“, he sounded agitated still, his back to you, but at least he stopped moving. „Kiss me, please“, you whispered in a desperate attempt to keep him there - and also because you finally let your heart speak its mind.

He turned around slowly, like a predator not wanting to scare its prey, and looked into your eyes for a moment. He seemed to find what he was searching for, because in seconds he wrapping one arm around your waist pulling you close, while the other gently cupped your face - then he bend down and his lips were on yours.

It was passionate and needy from the start, his lips were slightly rough against your soft ones, but it was the perfect fit. They moved in sync, his tongue carefully finding its way into your mouth, and you couldn’t hold back the whimper that left your throat at the animalistic way he claimed you right there.

Your little sound egged him on even more, greedy hands pulling you closer, because now that he finally had you in his arms, so soft and pliable, he was gonna make damn sure to show you how much he loved you - how much he wanted you. His tails possessively wrapped around your thigh, while he felt like for the first time in his life he was complete. Like this was where he needed to be.

The kiss turned softer, full of love and desire, his hands roaming your waist, grasping your hips while you clung onto his biceps, his muscles flexing under your grip. He was basically kissing you senseless, you didn’t know up and down, you only knew where he was. The feeling of his lips was exhilarating, and you wanted nothing more then to give yourself to him fully - but you couldn’t .

Finally needing to breathe, you pulled back slightly, smiling when the tall warrior chased your lips desperately. „Say you’re mine (Y/N)“, Neteyams voice was husky, a raspy, primal edge in his words. „I am 'Teyam. I always was“, you sighed, not being able to lie to him anymore, he deserved to know, even if you couldn’t make the bond with him yet.

Hearing your say that you were his made a growl rise in his throat that seemed almost instinctual, acknowledging that he had you, not only in his arms but he had your heart. „Just…just hold me tonight?“, your breathless whisper made his heart swell. „Of course, yawne“, he smiled happily, knowing this was a step towards mating with you, even if you wouldn’t tonight.

He swept you off your feet, grinning at the little squeak you let out at his sudden action, and carried you quickly into his hut. It was in a tree close to the Sullys, but from all of his siblings it was the farthest away. You had your face buried in his neck, and the way he could feel your lips ghosting over it distracted him like crazy.

There were no words exchanged between you two, Neteyam laid you down on his bed gently, pulling you into his arms immediately and wrapping his tail around your waist for security. Having you in his arms, all safe and warm and smelling so good, made him feel a bone deep satisfaction that almost scared him - he could never lose you.

————————————

It wasn’t as hard as you would’ve thought to resist Neteyam the next day, because he was gone for an out of the ordinary hunting trip until dinner was almost over. When Jake had told him in the morning he had to accompany the hunting party, he had almost refused to go because he wanted to stay with you. But with a bit of sweet encouragement (and the promise of more kisses when he returned) you were able to convince him.

After the events from last night, you had been praying to Eywa regularly throughout the day to just please, please send you a sign so you could fully be with the Olo‘eyktans son. But there was nothing so far, dampening your mood significantly.

You were pulled from your thoughts, when suddenly someone sat next to you, pulling you into his arms. „'Teyam“, you giggled when he kissed your cheek gently, turning so you could look at him better. Eywa, he looked so handsome with his visor and bow still sling over his back. „Hello syulang“, he mumbled into your ear and you hummed contentedly.

Before either of you could get any more handsy infront of the clan, your ears were assaulted by a loud 'woosh' sound, the fires that were burning blown out and in the middle of the clearing was something that made you heart stop. The white light that had brought you here.

Everyone was frozen, staring at the slightly pulsing and swaying white orb, that looked otherwise harmless, when you were pulled out of your rigor by Neteyams arms tightening around you. You looked at him and could see the horror in his eyes, knowing exactly what that was from the description you had given him.

You felt like this was it, this was your sign, and somehow you had the urge to get a bit closer. You were wondering why Neteyam let you go so easily, but you felt like you were in trance, having to face the thing that changed your life.

Everyone else didn’t move, looking either at you or still at the light, and you slowly moved through the crowd. Did this mean you had to go back home? Your thoughts strayed to your apartment, your books probably still sitting on the side table. Your crochet blanket abandoned on the couch. The little dingy kiosk you worked in, your rude neighbor complaining about going up the stairs too loud.

You stopped infront of the light. Was that home? You raised your hand a bit. But back where you came from, that wasn’t really home.

Home was gossiping with Kiri while weaving baskets, and trying to talk Lo‘ak out of whatever stupid thing he had planned again (but going along with it in the end). It was swimming with Tuk and reading in that hammock above the trees. It was laying in Neteyams arms, falling in love with him.

This was the sign you had been praying for, Eywa was giving you the choice to stay here or to go back. You smiled for a moment, lowering your hand and turning to where you knew Jake and Neytiri were sitting. „I’d like to stay if that’s okay“, you were talking quietly, but going by the leaders grin, he heard you loud and clear.

As if the tension snapped, the light disappeared into the sky as quickly as it came, the fires mysteriously burning again, and then you were engulfed by a happily sobbing Kiri. Tuk was clinging to your leg and even Lo‘ak joined the hug making you laugh in relief. „I’m so glad you stayed tsmuke“, Kiri grinned, before letting go to let her parents step forward. [sister]

To your surprise, Neytiri pulled you into a hug too, followed by Jake and you were smiling but also blushing a bit from all the attention. Not to mention the clan cheering around you. „Thank you (Y/N), thank you for staying“, Neytiri said, Jake squeezing your shoulder in gratitude and you know they meant 'thank you for not breaking our sons heart’.

But where was said son? Kiri pulled you close, seemingly knowing what you were thinking when you were looking around searching for him. „When he saw you raise your hand he took off, I don’t know where he went“, she looked concerned, and you knew why - Neteyam probably thought you were going to take the chance to go back home when you had raised your hand for a moment.

———————————

He didn’t know how long he had been running through the forest, he didn’t feel the leaves hitting his face or the bark scratching his body when he passed the trees to close. He was panting, trying to suppress the feelings that would be his downfall, but when he arrived in the hammock you were always reading in - his brain leading him there instinctively - and the last book you’ve read laid there forgotten, he broke down.

You reached out for the light, you left him, leaving him alone in this world while you went to another. He couldn’t even bear to watch you disappear, his heart feeling like it was shriveling up and dying at the thought that he would never get to see you again. Hold you in his arms, feel your lips on his like last night. He couldn’t even blame you for wanting to go back, if he would be thrown into another world he would probably want to too.

He could feel tears streaming down his face and the way he began to panic, the book you were holding in your hands just two days ago taunting him, and he felt like he could hear you call his name. 'Teyam!' he was sure he was hallucinating your voice, kneeling down infront of the book in anger, begging Eywa to make it stop.

The pain mixed with your soft voice drove him insane and he was about to rip the book apart in anger, when your voice suddenly sounded a lot closer and a lot more real.

„Don’t you dare destroy my book 'Teyam“, you had known exactly where he would go when he was this upset about you, finding him in the hammock just like you thought. Your heart was breaking for the man you loved, he seemed to be so broken thinking that you were gone.

But when he heard your voice so close, he finally seemed to snap out of it, his eyes meeting yours and a sob left his mouth. „You’re not real“, he whispered, shaking his head in desperation and you immediately scrambled closer with a concerned look on your face.

„I didn’t leave, I’d never leave you Neteyam“, you promise him, your hands settling on his cheeks and making him look into your eyes again. „But…but you reached out to the light…you left“, he whimpered, not sure if he should believe you or not. „If you would’ve stayed two seconds longer, you would’ve seen I decided to stay, stay here with you“, you smiled, wiping away his tears, but he still seemed reluctant.

„This can’t be real“, his eyes moved over you in wonder, seemingly trying to decide if you were really here or just a bittersweet trick his mind was playing on him. Until he felt a sharp pinch on his biceps, looking at you slightly offended. „You believe I’m real now?“, you grinned, and when it sunk in that you really were here, that you stayed for him, he tackled you to the floor (carefully of course) and pressed his lips to yours.

Now that you knew you would never have to leave and could be with him fully, the kiss felt different than before. Less desperate and more on the deeper side, your emotions running at an all time high. You pulled back slightly, blushing at the way he was laying on top of you and looking at you with hooded eyes full of passion.

„This sign…it means I’ll never leave 'Teyam“, you whispered, a bit flushed from the kiss and from what you were trying to insinuate. His eyes immediately darkened in understanding. „Please say it. Please say you’ll be my mate“, his voice was husky, and as if that wasn’t enough, with the way he was laying between your legs, you could feel a very prominent bulge pressing right up against your moist tweng.

You nodded your head with a gentle smile. „I’m yours if you’ll still have me. Please take me ma 'Teyam“, you bit your lip in nervousness, not usually this bold, but the way a punched out groan left his mouth made it worth it.

He couldn’t hold back anymore when you called him the pet name usually reserved for mated couples, pulling you into another kiss immediately. You were finally his, and he would make sure to show you and everyone else that you belonged to him - some primal side of him set free at the permission to finally bond and mate with you.

He kissed you senseless til you both needed to breathe, his lips then trailing down your delicate neck, leaving marks along the way and leaving you breathless. You were so perfect, the way you were completely giving yourself to him, trusting him and being so pliable, it made him almost cum into his tweng. You would be the perfect mate, and perfect mother. Eywa, he was so in love.

His large hands freed you of your chest covering, his eyes never leaving your breasts, your nipples peaking under his intense gaze. „Don’t just stare“, you whined, already desperate for his touch and with a predatory grin he took you into his mouth. You chocked on our moan, his tongue a rough texture that felt oh so good on your nipple, sending shockwaves of pleasure right to your pulsing core.

Neteyam was lost in your soft and heavy breasts, clearly your human DNA had an influence there, considering they were bigger and softer than normal Na‘vi breasts. But he was loving it, and he was especially loving your sensitivity, arching your back and pushing your chest into his mouth.

He switched to the other nipple, grazing it with his teeth, and you swear if he wanted to he could’ve made you cum just from that. But you needed more. „'Teyam please, I need you“, you begged, your thighs trying to clench in order to get some friction, but his massive body blocked them.

He finally pulled himself away from your chest in order to take of your tweng, and shuffled down your body, so that he could bully his way between your thighs with his broad shoulders and expose your wet and swollen pussy to him.

„Eywa you’re so perfect ma yawne“, he groaned when he saw the way you were clenching around nothing, your smell making him dizzy in the best way, and before you could plead with him to touch you, his hot mouth was already on you. He was stroking your clit with his rough tongue painstakingly slowly, pulling your legs over his shoulder and holding you so firm by your hips that you were sure you would be sprouting bruises later (that you would wear around the village with pride).

You could only take what he gave you, his vice grip not giving you much space to do anything else, but the way he was in control scratched something primal inside you, making you submit to him even more. Suddenly he pushed two fingers into you, slowly fucking you with them and making sure you’re prepared to take him.

Your tail subconsciously wrapped around his arm, making him groan into your pussy and you squeezed around his fingers at that. But when he started sucking on your swollen and sensitive clit, adding a third finger and hitting that spongey spot inside you perfectly, you came without warning, breathless moans and whimpers leaving your mouth.

He growled at the feeling of you cumming on his tongue, your pussy sucking in his fingers desperately and he couldn’t wait for them to be replaced by his cock. He only stopped when you were pushing him away in oversensitivity, unhappy with having to stop tasting your sopping pussy.

But then you pulled at his arm to get him on top of you again and quicker than you would’ve thought possible he was kissing you again. He tried to pour all his adoration and love into that one kiss, telling you all the things he currently couldn’t form into words.

He pulled back panting, a loving smile adorning his face. You were breathless with anticipation when he pulled his kuru over his shoulder, urging you to do so too. „Are you ready yawne, ready to become mine forever?“, he asked in a husky voice, the anticipation killing him. „Of course I am ma 'Teyam“, you smiled and then the two of you were already exposing the sensitive tendrils at the end of you braids.

Slowly you were moving them towards one another, letting them wrap around eachother, joining you both forever through the sacred bond. A shudder ran through the both of you, your tails and ears moving in ecstasy. You could really feel him, feel your souls joining eachother, effectively making you one, making you mates.

„Ma muntxa“, Neteyam growled right next to your ear, not being able to hold back his primal urges anymore. So he got rid of his loincloth quickly, hissing when his hard cock slid between your pussy lips, covering him in your essence. You whimpered when his head caught you clit, effectively spreading around his precum on your already weeping cunt.

„Please ma 'Teyam, need you“, you pleaded, moving your hips in an effort to catch his head in your entrance. Seeing how desperate you were, he didn’t waste anymore time, bracing himself onto of you more securely, before carefully sinking into the hot cradle between your thighs.

He had to refrain himself from pounding into you right away, reminding himself that this was your first time. You were holding onto his biceps for support, the feeling of fullness spreading through you like wildfire. It was overwhelming, feeling the bond and then feeling him so deep inside you physically too, stretching your poor pussy almost past its limit.

He was thick, his cock adorned with ridges that rubbed your sweet spot just the right way with every inch he pushed in, until he was finally bottomed out. His heavy balls were resting against your ass, basically pulsing with all the seed he had ready to fill you up.

Neteyam was growling next to your ear, his muscles tense in struggle to keep still and letting you adjust. But your tight, wet heat was pulling around him like a vice, trying to suck him in and he felt his hips start moving on their own account.

He started dragging back his hips more with each thrust, your walls clamping down tight and breathless whimpers leaving your lips. The way he was moving above you, all coiled muscle and pleasured expression was making you feel some type of way - especially the way he was so dominating and primal, starting to lose control and pound into you with vigor.

He gripped your thigh with one hand, angling his hips different, and then he was thrusting into your sweet spot with every move of his hips. The moans and whines were falling freely from your mouth, spurring him on further and when he thought about how you were finally his, his mate, he pulled you into another deep kiss.

„Oh god 'Teyam I’m g-gonna-", you tried telling him you were about to cum, but he interrupted you with another kiss, his hips never faltering. But it seemed like he knew what you were saying, one of his hands moving between you and firmly circling your clit, pushing you over the edge so suddenly, you could only open your mouth in a silent scream.

Neteyam groaned in despair when he felt you tighten around him, almost blowing his load right then, but he was determined to have you cum a third time so he continued fucking you through your orgasm until you were whining from the overstimulation.

He slowed down a bit, but never ceasing his thrusts entirely, letting you catch your breath for a moment. „You okay yawne?“, he kissed your cheek gently, making your eyes open with a satisfied smile. „Yeah, perfect“, you answered, and his heart melted at the way you looked at him with so much love.

With a grin, he picked up the speed and force of his thrusts again, suddenly overcome by the reality of getting you pregnant. He let out a loud moan, the thought of you swollen with his child, the evidence of your bond and the way everyone would know to keep their hands off of you, made him slide in and out of your tight heat with determination.

„Eywa, I’m almost there ma yawne“, your mate groaned above you, „gonna fill you up so good love, gonna make sure you’ll carry my child.“ The suddenly carnal desires spilling out of his mouth awakened something deep inside of you, and you whined pathetically, clinging on to your mate while your next high was - to your surprise - already approaching.

„Fuck, you just got so tight, you want that mhm? Want your mate to fill you up? Get you pregnant?“, he panted above you, abs flexing against you and cock still relentlessly abusing your sensitive cunt in just the perfect way. „Yes, please ma 'Teyam“, you gasped, feeling his urges through the bond intensely.

And then he changed his angle a bit, his lower abdomen grinding into your clit just slightly with every harsh thrust he gave you, and it didn’t take long before the breath was knocked out of you with your next orgasm.

You were gripping him so tight, your whole body begging him to breed you, sucking him deeper than you thought was possible. He only managed a few more thrusts before burying himself as far as possible inside you, almost painfully hitting your cervix, before spilling his seed into you with a loud growl.

He was grinding into you a little still, his cock so tight inside of you that his cum seemed to flow directly into your womb, making you feel oh so deliciously full - and also prolonging your high significantly, your body trying to take all it was given.

When you were both slowly coming back to yourselves, Neteyam carefully turned you around, laying on his back with you on top and making sure his cock stayed inside of you so nothing could spill out. „Ma (Y/N)“, he sighed dreamily, pushing your hair away from your face and kissing your forehead gently.

The satisfied but tired smile never leaving your lips, you looked up a bit with hooded eyes. „Are you okay yawne? I didn’t hurt you?“, the man who had been mercilessly fucking you stupid just a few minutes ago was suddenly the sweet and caring male you knew.

„No you didn’t my love, everything is just perfect“, you sighed happily, feeling safe and whole in his arms, the soft kiss he pressed to your lips only intensifying that feeling. „Promise me you’ll never leave?“, you almost didn’t hear him, your mate suddenly sounding so insecure it made your heart break. „Never. I’ll never leave, I love you so much 'Teyam“, you kissed him again, humming a bit when his (somehow still hard) cock moved inside of you.

„Oel ngati kameie“, he whispered, holding you even tighter and your burrowed your head in his neck softly kissing it. „I see you“, you whispered back.

=================

Sooo finally after for fucking ever I had the motivation to write again and I think this is actually my longest single one yet! I hope you enjoyed the somewhat more complicated starting situation and I hope I didn’t rush it too much, I thought if you didn’t enjoy your life on earth you would adjust pretty well, but I don’t know :) If you wanna be on my Taglist let me know!

Leave me some feedback your sweet replies always motivate me to finally get my ass up and write ahaha and thank you for the likes and reblogs in advance!! Love you all xx

Tags: @eywas-heir @brooklynscherry-z @liyahsocorro @drinking-tea-and-be-obsessed

#x reader #fluff #angst #smut #avatar #neteyam #neteyam x reader #james cameron avatar #navi #pandora

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dykealloy · 4 months

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Trafalgar Law and Faith

Pre-emptive warning this is going to be another LONG metapost/analysis. There’s a lot I could talk about here but for the sake of structure I’m going to split this into three sections, i.e. the main ‘faith transitions’ that Law has gone through in the narrative thus far: 1. Flevance (catalyst for loss of religious faith), 2. Corasan (martyr that figuratively and literally saves law by giving him something to live for, introducing the will of D.), and 3. Luffy (cementing faith in this new belief system and regaining trust in the goodness of humanity through the living embodiment of everything Corasan believed in).

Before we get into all that though, let’s establish that Christianity is a thing in one piece. Speedrunning through some visual examples that come to mind; the Flevance church and nun (holding a celtic cross - censored in the anime version), a nun literally praying to God right before Marineford, Vinsmoke Sora’s grave marked with a cross (is op Christianity a northern thing?), Usopp and Chopper having crucifixes and holy water whenever ghostly stuff is brought up, Kuma and his trusty bible, the religious symbols on Kikoku’s hilt (could instead be more a reference to the Red Cross/symbol of humanitarian and medical aid as a doctor) and especially in whatever Mihawk’s got going on (though this could just be a Japanese cultural thing with Christianity being a minority religion or Oda just finding that some of the iconography, y’know. looks cool). There are also many other references to other religions e.g. hinduism, shintoism, buddhism, etc. Whether op forms of religion are the same as the real-world ones is debatable, and yes, Law being canonically raised as a devout catholic schoolboy with all the religious trauma associated with that is comical, but let’s take it all unironically for a hot minute. For fun.

1. Flevance

Law’s birthplace (Flevance) is described as being, at one point, “a very wealthy country with an unearthly beauty about it, with pure white soil and plants, like some kind of snow kingdom in a fairy tale.” The country’s wealth came from the very bedrock it sits on — white lead, which could be used to make various high quality products like tableware, cosmetics, weapons etc. When the wider world heard about this everyone wanted a piece of Flevance (the World Government also getting involved with distribution), and very quickly white lead became a “bottomless well of money”. So, hooray. Law gets to grow up in a rich city in a big house with educated doctor parents and probably gets to go to private school on weekdays and festivals with his family on weekends. One problem. In their greed, the Government and royalty have been knowingly hiding the truth about this supposed goldmine from the beginning. White lead is a toxic poison. Mining it from the ground over the last century and putting it in so many everyday products has resulted in it accumulating in the citizens’ bodies and leading to amber lead sickness, shortening their life-span with each successive generation – with the children of Law’s generation fated to die out before they reach adulthood.

In the bible (especially in the old testament), God often inflicted these insanely disastrous events upon humanity, usually as some kind of punishment for their wrongdoings or as a test of their faith. Some events of which include (but are not limited to): famine, outbreaks of disease and natural disasters (e.g. hail, wildfire, earthquakes, floods). Historically, these stories played a key role in how humanity interpreted meaning from horrible disasters (e.g. assuming bubonic plague was sent as a punishment by god). Fire imagery is very common among these disasters as a representation for hell, which is clearly reflected in the destruction of Flevance.

Sometimes these disasters had sole survivors act as messengers for God. With that context, let’s put ourselves back in the shoes of a ten-year old Law. Raised religious, freshly traumatised from losing his home, his devout family, all the comforts of his life, and having the outside world completely abandon him, this kind of event is likely going to be processed as some form of divine punishment. Law stumbles through hell, finds all his dead classmates, and the last words of sister nun echo through to him here. Merciful and salvation are huge catholic buzzwords – promises of holy compassion, deliverance and hope – and all of it fire and smoke and riddled with bullet holes before him. A genocide funded, perpetuated and covered up by the same body Law was promised was there to save them. And the only reason Law hadn’t died with them was because he wanted to stay with his little sister Lami, who was on her deathbed, and his parents, who were themselves trying to help the afflicted citizens, Law’s own father (before he was shot and killed alongside his mother) begging for more doctors, fresh blood, anything the world can offer, and asking “Why doesn’t the government announce to everyone that white lead is not infectious?”

Oftentimes (and in the case of Law), when there’s a promise of heavenly intervention or some miracle that doesn’t follow through, it results in an ultimate feeling of betrayal and anger. Unfortunately a lot of Catholic teachings also use a lot of guilt, essentially teaching people that the bad things that happen to you are your fault and there needs to be some sort of penance (queue Law’s survivor’s guilt that carries on down the road). But also, if this was supposed to be some divine punishment, for what exactly? For the town being blinded by the incredible wealth they were sitting on? Being lied to? Continuing to extract their livelihood, ignorant of its dangers? Punishment for who? His parents? His innocent little sister? For ten year-old Law? These people who believed in God, who were good people? That’s fucking stupid. None of these people suffered and died for any reason at all — certainly not for a sacred one. God hadn’t saved a single one of them. Law had to crawl out of hell himself by sneaking over the border under a mound of corpses.

Given everything that happened here, Law has every reason to fall into nihilism, and you can see how his upbringing would’ve bred a lot of the feelings of guilt, anger and resentment that you still see in Law (which would suggest that though this is where he likely cuts ties with the religious/Catholic component of his faith, growing up with these teachings in his formative years would definitely influence underlying beliefs about how the world works, and how Law behaves and subconsciously processes information), but at the same time, there’s usually some form of redemption and changes to how these patterns of behaviour can be approached later down the line.

2. Corasan

Fresh off witnessing his whole world burning down around him, Law meets Corazon at the very bottom of this pit of self-destructive rage and unprocessed grief. Rosinante himself mentions to Sengoku that the hatred in Law at this time reminded him of his brother, but beyond the anger, harsh pessimism, vengefulness, I think you have to reach to find similarities between them. You can see some fragments of Doffy in Law down the line at times, with Law seeming to enjoy violence (especially against the navy, but given what they did to Flevance, it’s some well-deserved retribution for Law imo), but I’m not so sure it’s the cruelty so much as it is the high he gets off his own flavour of justice. Doctor’s Hippocratic oath maybe, but never once does Law like seeing others die (even at this point, he’s in tears next to a dead body, even though he’s the one holding the knife), and later on in Wano he makes it explicitly clear to Zoro that he’d rather see the mission fail than have any of them end up dead.

Little Law wanted to destroy the world and everything in it, but thinking rationally, what other choice did this kid have? He had no remaining family, was doomed to die before he hit puberty due to a terminal illness, was perceived as an infectious subhuman that most doctors would’ve sooner tried to exterminate than help. To Law, the world had turned its back on him – considering him a monster for simply surviving. He has all this hatred and pain boiling away with him with no tangible target to direct it towards. And this is the first clear cut rejection of faith that we see in Law. Any concept of a merciful God had just died. What God would allow this? Why is Law alive (a question that he repeats to himself throughout his life), why are these scumbags alive, why is the world going on spinning as if nothing has happened when his whole world had gone up in flames, why does anyone at all get to be here when everything I loved is gone? And it’s far easier to fall into a despondent nihilistic stupor than it is to work through any of that, and what’s the point in trying to process and move on from it, when there’s no hope for a future for Law anyway? When the only thing waiting ahead is more pain? What was this, if not a punishment? He’s supposed to be some messenger for God? How about fuck God, or whatever entity that exists that made him suffer this. Law’s not going to be a messenger for shit, thanks, he’d rather be their monster, he’d rather watch the world burn.

Corazon survives Law’s stabbing and doesn’t rat the little shit out (to Law’s confusion). It’s business as usual for another two years, then, one day Rosinante overhears his true name - Trafalgar “D” Water Law, and everything changes. On the back of his own beliefs, Rosinante dedicates himself to making sure Law a) lives and b) doesn’t become his brother. Law’s relatively short six month stint with Corasan forms the basis of Law’s new creed going forward, and all it took was a bit of kindness, love and humanity when the rest of the world had abandoned him. In the end Rosinante doesn’t save Law for the will of D. and the storm he’s predicted to bring in the future (as Law suspects), but he certainly believes in it, and the strength of Corasan’s conviction transfers right over to Law when he forces the ope ope fruit down the kid’s throat to heal him, tells Law he loves him, then sacrifices himself to set Law free.

Law clings to that love he was given, he takes all these fundamental teachings and ways of thinking in regards to faith that were drilled into him during his youth, rejects the religion element and applies just about everything else to Corasan. He holds onto the last shreds of what Corasan leaves him with. Corasan becomes his “benefactor” (he gave my my heart), his saviour, his martyr.

And the crazy thing is, Rosinante was never really this saint Law makes him out to be. Law hated the clutz when they first met (mostly on account of Corazon throwing him through a glass window down at least two stories and into a pile of scrap). Corazon initially showed nothing but contempt for his presence (to ward him and the other children away from the Donquixote family, but these are still extreme measures). And it wasn’t until after learning Law’s name that Rosinante dragged him kicking, crying and screaming from hospital to burning hospital (not very saintlike in of itself), even after Law begged him to stop. Rosinante became Law’s saviour partly because of his belief in the will of D., and probably due to some guilt being a Donquixote, but mostly because he has always had a bleeding heart and he pitied (and had very quickly come to love) this angry, sick, deeply lost little kid. All this to say that Law’s faith in Corasan – this saintlike figure Law upholds him as in the future and the lengths he’s willing to go to avenge him/fulfil Rosinante’s purpose reflects the strength of the absolute beliefs Law would’ve been raised with in regards to God.

Whether it be out of survivor’s guilt (just one more body to heap on top of the Flevance pile), his love for Corasan, or for the sake of taking vengeance on the man that took away the one good thing he’d been able to regain in his miserable life, Law adopts Corasan’s will, the will of D. (which in of itself seems divine in nature), incorporates it into his new belief system, actively takes on the role of the divine punisher/justiciar and dedicates his life to bringing down Doflamingo.

3. Luffy

Catholicism dictates that the entirety of someone’s beliefs should be dedicated to one true cause (that cause being God) and expects people to ride on that, letting it carry them through life, give them hope, purpose, etc. But a lot of former Catholics choose instead to find that through something else. Corasan ignited the spark in Law’s faith around the will of D., but it’s not until he meets Luffy that this really becomes something that feels tangible and real for Law.

When Law saved Luffy in Marineford (putting the heart crew in danger for a stranger he met once), he said he did so “on a whim”, but that seems incredibly ooc for Law — this man that pretty much planned out how the rest of his life would go after the dust of Corasan’s death settled and he came to terms with the fact he wasn’t going to die at age thirteen like he’d originally thought. Circling back to the concept of Law being a sole survivor/messenger for God, it is interesting that Law is the one to seek out Luffy (given that Luffy is usually always the one either being abandoned by people or recruiting his crewmates), and Law is ultimately the catalyst for pulling him towards Dressrosa and Wano. There must be a REASON that led to Law deciding Luffy to be the most viable option out of the Worst Generation for an alliance (beyond blind trust in an unhinged captain that just so happens to also bear the initial D, and Luffy being one of the few captains crazy enough to go along with what Law was cooking up).

Law undoubtedly would’ve kept a peripheral eye on Luffy for some time before officially meeting him due to him being a rising competitor pirate and another “D” (I imagine the news of his utterly insane exploits would’ve made good reading material, too). The first time Law lays eyes on Luffy in Sabaody though, he still blows all expectations out of the water — crashing headfirst into the crowd of a slave auction and immediately committing a felony against a member of the most powerful upper one percent.

The world nobles are at an “untouchable God” tier in terms of class standing and believe it’s only natural for them to be entitled to whatever and whoever they want in this world that’s beneath them – the same kind of self-aggrandizing false divinity that Law has a a lot of repressed rage towards and that the will of D. is fated to oppose, so this, understandably, is a highly compelling first encounter, but it’s really only an initiating factor for what ultimately draws Law to Luffy. From their very first meeting (and probably before then, in the news stories and rumours Law likely picked up on), it’s made abundantly clear that Luffy does what he wants without a second’s hesitation, no matter the consequences, simply because he feels it is the right thing to do. Some call this an iron will, Law would be more inclined to call it willful stupidity and trouble, but time after time Luffy somehow manages to pull off what Law would best describe as “miracles”. And Law believes the straw hats just might be the ones to drum up another one for him.

Luffy’s also got a lot of passing resemblances to Corasan going for him, e.g. inherently kind, compassionate liberators with big dumb hearts and wide goofy smiles in spite of everything they’ve been through, treating Law as nakama and saving his life despite his protests etc. All of which I’m sure Law hasn’t been completely unaffected by despite the high walls he puts up. And the more Law learned about Luffy the more it probably became clear that he is the antithesis to Doflamingo, i.e. what makes Luffy so goddamn dangerous and terrifying beyond his physical power is his ability to make friends with a simple kind of unconditional love that gets reciprocated enough so that these friends are willing to die for him.

Luffy agrees to the alliance, they successfully blow up Caesar’s base, and head off to Dressrosa. Now’s the time I should bring up that it’s taught in Catholicism that self sacrifice is the ultimate heavenly deed, and here Law is undoubtedly prepared to be a martyr for his cause. Law sends away his crew to Zou before Punk Hazard with the expectations that he’d never see them. He cultivates a fierce emotional detachment against Luffy’s willingness to bring him into the fold of the straw hats, and is resolute in that when the time comes, he will handle this himself, he will carry out Corasan’s will, and if he has to die for it, he will die with Corazon’s name plastered on his back. (Note here that Christianity is contradictory in that Law being this ready to die here is a sin, because revenge and suicide are highly discouraged, so you could say that by avenging and dying for his saviour, Law would be committing both the ultimate sacrifice and the ultimate sin).

Things get very dicey for Law in Dressrosa, to put it lightly. Doflamingo reveals that he was a celestial dragon (linking back into the will of D. “enemy of the Gods” notion), puts Law on the backfoot and gives him a thorough beating before shooting Law with a couple dozen white lead bullets in front of Luffy (because even when he’s winning Doffy loves to be a cunt about it). By the time Doflamingo is cuffing Law to the heart seat, it’s all looking pretty grim, and it’s very apparent when Luffy shows up to save him, that he is ready to die.

Law here has given up. He spent years planning his revenge for Corasan, but he lost, and he has very little left in the tank (physically, emotionally, spiritually). But Luffy doesn’t listen. Luffy who doesn’t think, doesn’t care, who trampled all over Law’s carefully laid out plan from the get-go and who is willing to take on Doflamingo single handedly for the simple slight that he dared to harm Luffy’s friend Law. Law will never find peace in his own demise because Luffy doesn’t do peaceful. He does loud and unashamed and open with no rhyme or reason other than the excruciatingly simply fact that he loves people and he thinks the people he loves deserve to have good lives. Luffy chucks Law over his shoulder and drags an injured Law across the city despite his protests (sound familiar?) and in the process inspires the fighting spirit in Law again.

When Law confronts Doflamingo again with Luffy in tow, Law’s faith in Luffy confounds him. The last Doflamingo remembers of Law is this beautifully moldable dark pit of grief and rage who’d given up on believing, period – who wanted the world destroyed. Not so long ago, Law had been a candidate for Doflamingo’s next protégé. Now?

THIS is the action (grinning, staring down the barrel of a gun, flipping Doffy off as he tells him in not so many words that he may kill Law but he will never beat Luffy), Law’s unshakeable faith in the face of his own death is what has Doflamingo realising he will never regain control of Law again – is what incites Doflamingo to go from breaking Law down so he can build him back up again, to conceding defeat and outright killing him.

The trust that Luffy inspires in Law and the way he talks about Luffy (Luffy being this powerful, miracle-inducing liberator that Law can’t comprehend but follows anyway, Law laying down his hopes on him, weaponizing the will of D. to try and provoke fear from Doffy), is very reminiscent of the awe and faith talked about in scripture. Law discovers the feelings of comfort and hope that Catholicism was supposed to give him in Luffy, but Law’s belief in Luffy is a direct rejection of those teachings. Rejection by believing in a real life person as opposed to the divinity he was taught about. He’s also cementing his belief in the will of D., thus rejecting Doflamingo and all the people that embody the sort of “all powerful” divinity that he abhors (i.e. celestial dragons, Kaido, the Gorōsei/five elders) for the embodiment of hope and humanity.

When Law survives (again), he expresses he’d rather see Luffy beat Doflamingo with his own eyes or die with Luffy if he loses than leave. Then he watches, after all this talk of miracles, looking up in reverence as Luffy delivers, bright as the sun, haloed by the bars of a cage that’s haunted him for over a decade, Corasan’s words echoing at the back of his mind. God had never saved or freed Law, but Corasan was there for him, the heart crew was there, Luffy was there. And this is Law’s biggest, clearest rejection of religion – this newfound faith in humanity.

This faith in Luffy is put to the test again in Wano when Luffy is struck down by Kaido, but Law never truly stops believing that he’ll make a comeback. Even when the straw hats doubt whether he’s alive or not, something tells him Luffy’s not dead, and he holds onto that hope.

We also have the whole nika/joyboy backstory which really only reinforces all of this imagery/god-fearing looks of awe from Law and this idea of Luffy who is this perfect juxtaposition of empathetic and kind to incredibly fearsome fire and brimstone fighter. And regardless of whether you’re into the ship or not this is the impetus of Law’s relationship with Luffy for me, because here’s Luffy who has every right to have a chip on his shoulder and be downtrodden about all the injustices against him, here’s this little guy who against all odds, in the darkest of places, embodies light and hope and kindness and proves to Law that there will be hard times but there IS a happy ending at the end of the tunnel, despite it all. And everytime Luffy rises to the insurmountable challenge and wins, it just further cements that the will of D. is alive, that Corasan was right, that there's something redeemable in Law, a reason why he was worth saving, even if Law doesn’t understand it quite yet.

#merry christmas law religious trauma be upon ye #what’s an endearing idiot to a non-believer #long post #favourite character thesis statement. or something #ive been wanting to talk about this for a while but just been gathering my thoughts #will preface all this by saying I was not born or raised religious but the concept’s all very compelling from an outsider’s perspective #but I have had conversations about this to people like lesbianluffy who *were* raised catholic and relate to this experience #who I have to thank a lot for helping me wrap my head around this #this is a compilation of thoughts and conversations over the last two or so months #one piece #op #CJ's op watch-through #trafalgar law #monkey d. luffy #donquixote rosinante #donquixote corazon #monkey d luffy #lawlu #trafalgar d water law #gear 5 luffy #sun god nika #wano spoilers #lulaw #op meta #op analysis #one piece analysis

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