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presidenthades · 1 month

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the people (i am the people) need to see your playlist for the golds!!

IF YOU INSIST :3

I added The Golds portion to my AHFOD playlist on Spotify. Like I did for the Daemon’s Handbook portion, I will ramble about my song choices for The Golds.

Moments: The Golds theme song, leaning more towards Aegon. Lyrics fit him to a T.

But Daddy I Love Him: Added at the suggestion of an anon (it replaced another Swift song, Style). If “Moments” leans more toward Aegon, this one leans more toward Jace.

Love Me Like You Do: For their happy newlywed/honeymoon period.

Here Comes The Sun: They find out about the baby~

Perfect: Aegon has some inner turmoil in Chapter 2, but overall this is how he feels about life and marriage with Jace.

Surface Pressure: Jace is a workaholic, and on top of being newly pregnant, she’s reaching a breaking point.

Vienna: When Jace spends time with her sisters and has a heart-to-heart with Rhaena in Chapter 3, she finally slows down a bit.

Oxygen: Aegon’s behavior is suspicious and Jace starts to get worried. Then the kerfuffle with the madam arriving at the castle happens, and Jace breaks down a bit.

Solid Gold Love: Jace and Aegon have their conversation through the door, and then Aegon climbs up the balcony to break into the bedroom. Jace is upset (understandably, based on the information she has), and he’s determined to straighten things out. Bonus points for having “gold” in the title.”

Native of the Northlands: Of course I had to include Sleep Walking Animals!! This song’s lyrics have a poetic and abstract feel, so my interpretation might not necessarily be correct, but it’s giving vibes of a man who thinks he isn’t good enough for a woman as she “settles on her throne.” Which is Aegon.

Shed a Light: Jace is so busy that Aegon feels she has no time for him anymore 🥺.

Run: This encapsulates Aegon’s more youthful and immature desires to just run around the city and have fun. Those desires are part of the reason he so eagerly investigates the murders and kidnappings, and he’s so distracted that he forgets about the very important feast.

Ritual: Jace and Aegon make up, and he makes a lot of religious/blasphemous comparisons 😳.

Young and Beautiful: Jace is worried that Aegon won’t think she looks as pretty as before, and he assures her that would never happen. This is also their peaceful period of several months before the Big Drama happens.

Seven Devils: The Tyroshi attacks the girls at the sept, so the number seven seems especially appropriate. Overall the song lyrics fit the occasion.

All the Kings Horses: When Aegon (and Aemond) searches for Jace.

Safe & Sound: Aegon finds Jace, but she’s not OK emotionally/mentally.

The Cure and Standing With You: Both songs are for the recovery period as Aegon helps Jace try to find a new normal.

An Impossible Choice: This was on the HOTD S1 soundtrack for Aemma’s death, so I’m reusing it for Jace giving birth since she and Aegon face the same choice.

Mercy in Darkness: It’s hard to find a song for “little girl does blood magic to save her sister’s life” but I think this one works.

Game of Thrones Theme (Lullaby Rendition): A Cheeseball is born!!!

Yellow: Jace and Aegon and Cheeseball have their happy little family bonding, and Aegon debuts the lullaby he wrote.

Ghostly Presence: Again, it’s hard to find a song for “little girl temporarily gets possessed/goes insane after using blood magic” but here you go.

Demons: Jace finds out that Aegon and the others have been hiding info from her (about the Baratheon betrothal), and she’s very upset. But Aegon explains why he did it, and he and Jace are able to come to an understanding.

Dance Laura Dance: More Sleep Walking Animals, and this is my favorite of their songs! This song has a theme of recovery and finding joy again, which is perfect for our Gold family as they spend several blissful weeks on Dragonstone before they have to go back to their normal life in King’s Landing.

Reign of the Targaryens: Dramatic music as the Targkids fly back to the capital and land at the Dragonpit. Aegon has his Lion King moment with Elenar.

Light: This song is literally about a parent promising their newborn baby to do their best, which is exactly what Aegon does at the beginning of Chapter 10.

Hey Brother: It’s a song about brotherly love and support, which is an important theme in the final chapter.

The Green Dress: I was torn between several songs in the HOTD S1 soundtrack to use for “Aegon learns about the fostering arrangement, blows up at the king in public, and confronts Otto later.” I ended up picking this one not just because it was Alicent’s “I’m in a new era and I want everyone to know it” theme song, but also because the instrumentals had that tense, dramatic (but not melodramatic) vibe that I wanted.

Say You Won’t Let Go: I was looking for a song to go with Aegon and Jace’s final intimate moment when he’s like “I would burn the world for you” and she’s like “I know.” This song doesn’t really capture that particular vibe, but I do think it fits their overall relationship well, so I wanted to slide it into the playlist.

Spectrum: Aegon unionizes the Egg Council and they riot.

Gold Skies: Ending/“After Credits” theme. Bonus points for the word “gold” in the title. I picked this cover instead of the original, because the cover has a more bittersweet tone that seems appropriate with Aemond’s departure at the end of the fic.

#my writing #ask me anything #fanfic playlist #playlist #the golds

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hyuneytoast · 3 years

Text

Hearts of Roses || Scene 2

⇢𝓢𝓾𝓶𝓶𝓪𝓻𝔂 》 “Don’t forget about the thorns.”

In which you stumble upon Wonderland and the Prince of Hearts. How you end up in Wonderland is something explained as complete nonsense, but also quite simple; Just a key and a door. What if it’s not easy to return from Wonderland, though? A locked door and a lost key; now surely that’s not so bad if it weren’t for the Queen of Hearts’ threatening intentions.

⇢𝓣𝓪𝓰𝓼 》 Prince of Hearts!Hyunjin x Fem!Reader, Fantasy AU, Alice in Wonderland AU, Stranger to Lovers, Fluff, Slight Angst

⇢𝓦𝓪𝓻𝓷𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓼 》 Explicit language

⇢𝓣𝓪𝓰𝓵𝓲𝓼𝓽 》(Let me know if you want to be added!)

@danyxthirstae01 @sailorhyunjinz @rapilne @peachy-maia @hyunj1nn133

𝓢𝓮𝓻𝓲𝓮𝓼 𝓜𝓪𝓽𝓮𝓻𝓲𝓪𝓵𝓲𝓼𝓽 || 𝓟𝓻𝓮𝓿𝓲𝓸𝓾𝓼 || 𝓝𝓮𝔁𝓽

II.

You stumble pass the door, feet being met with, in a way, familiar grounds. Once again, towering mushrooms and a dense forest greet you. The sunlight filters through the canopy and casts itself messily around. You let your skin soak the soft warmth as you stand there for a good solitary minute. Were you really returning? Should you continue to be here? You have no clue, but you can confirm that Wonderland and the people you’ve met have never once left your mind. A good excuse for your terrible lack of sleep last night too. It’d be a shame too if you weren’t to show up when Hyunjin asked you to with evident hope, right?

“Returning, I see? Seems like Wonderland has turned you into a madly, vulnerable fool now,” An unforgettable voice laughs in amusement. Your eyes scan each branch in search of the cat-like acquaintance.

“I’m not always in a tree, you know. I’m over here~”

In front, a grinning figure slowly appears in front of you, now sitting upon the grass. And hell, even considering the magical hole you dug yourself into, you doubt you’d ever get used to his “tricks.”

“Hello again, Minho.”

“I’ve been expecting you in the back of my head.”

“You’d know I come back?”

“Of course! I was watching your goodbyes last night ’til I spent this morning in dread, listening to two idiots speak about you.” Minho crosses his arms against the back of his head while falling slowly aback, laying in the green.

“Who?”

“That’s not important; your life does not depend on knowing so therefore I have no need to tell. But I do must say, one of those idiots are waiting for you. Ah yes, our dear prince is disgustingly waiting for you with heartening patience,” He frowns with closed eyes, faking a gag.

“O-oh. Well—”

“If you desire to be pathetic like him, I suggest you begin wandering off at this very second in the opposite way.”

The cat boy and his irritating habits of interrupting and insisting you to leave makes you let out a low, hopeless sigh. “Now? I still don’t know my way around or where exactly to go. I don’t think wandering around aimlessly is… the wisest decision either.”

“Now surely you didn’t fully think that thought yesterday, did you? If I remember clearly, you left with a smile. Besides, reasons like that, Y/N, make everything more fun! Surprises here and surprises there!” Minho cackles before is resting figure vanishes out of sight.

You frantically look around, but all fails when you find yourself permanently alone once again. “Whatever,” You grumble.

And just like that, your feet move aimlessly in an unknown direction, the opposite of where you went with the dark rabbit, Changbin, yesterday. Wandering and wandering, and deeper in the forest you go; no sense of direction but surely a sight of wonders. Once you get a taste of something, you go back for more. That is very much like your current situation. Not like you actually have a choice though since you have no clue of how to get back on your own.

Tickling below your knees, the breeze creates a rhythm having the tall grass swaying back and forth and your hair gently dancing along too. Incredibly huge butterflies prance along, wings glistening like the day’s sky. You admire the mushrooms from enormous to tiny. Perhaps you poke some of their squishy caps too, smiling to yourself at the fun feeling and aspect. Is it wrong to say that in an unknown somewhere full of mysterious madness, your soul still manages to be put at ease? Maybe it’s the magical atmosphere, or the forest’s serenity that you could never experience in the city. Perhaps it’s both that isn’t so wrong either. An escape from a harsh world; such an opportunity practically pleads you to blissfully wander day by day.

Against the lush green and patches of dirt, a trail of bright red splatters and puddles trail ahead to the left. Appearing to be too colorfully reflective to be considered blood, thoughts immediately recall last night’s encounter with the prince. Red paint! Your feet reroute you along the crimson trail. Curiosity taking over each inch, not to mention, the doubts of possible dangers awaiting at the end. You hear a cheery hum as you walk around a huge bush of roses; similar to last night’s but wilder, more lush. Your eyes meet with a familiar individual that just may have made your heart skip a beat without a warning.

“Y-Y/N?” Hyunjin marvels, mentally sighing in joyous relief.

“Hi, Hyunjin.” If Minho were here, he’d certainly wouldn’t hesitate to mock, or maybe even smack, the grin upon your face.

“Oh how brightly I am shocked to see you have returned very much sooner before my eyes than I have expected,” The boy rambles with a smile he can’t hold back, fumbling to settle the red-dipped paintbrush and palette on top a giant, flat stone.

“Yes, it seems that yesterday was more than enough to convince me,” You respond rather sheepishly.

“Quite happy to hear that as much as I now know I can keep my promise. Now, um, kindly, asking, may I?” Despite the nervousness mixed in with his soft tone, Hyunjin eagerly holds his hand out (which you notice is decked with a few silver rings), but still patiently waiting for a response.

You nod, placing your hand in his large one, cold skin sheltering yours. He gently tugs you around the stone and tall rose bush, revealing a part of the forest containing the most mushrooms you have seen so far.

“What about your paint?”

“That, my dear, can surely wait longer than all of us in Wonderland combined. Besides, you mean far more than all my replaceable paint.” He flashes you a smile while giving your hand a reassuring squeeze.

Now when was the last time you felt like… this? Felt like whatever this is that you’re feeling. Your words stuck in your throat and all confidence shying away; A desire to bury your heated face in the comfort of your blankets along with tying your hand with Hyunjin’s, never wanting to let go of such simple yet heart bursting touch. Oh god, Y/N, calm down—

“Y/N?! And our dear prince, Hyunjin? Why, what ever are you doing here?”

The two of you snap your gazes to the ringing voice on your right, a red-haired male standing under tall mushrooms with a covered basket in hand. He cocks his head to the side, giving off a few rushed blinks.

“Bang Chan, lovely you meet you once again.”

“Likewise, Y/N!” He flashes you a grin and a small wave.

“Ah, my dear friend! You have caught us as I was making my way to reveal Y/N the garden!”

“The garden? Oh, the garden! Yes! What a sight to behold once you get there, like a rainbow palace that makes me promise you won’t regret the adventure!” Chan gives a small clap before waving his basket. “Not a similar treat, but I was on my way to deliver a few things to Felix.”

“Felix?” You question the slightly familiar name, but you can’t recall encountering him yesterday’s tea party.

“Yes, Felix!” Chan chimes as if he was just asked one of the most precious questions. “He’s one of the most beloved bakers in Wonderland, role done at the castle’s kitchen. A dear friend to many as well, hard not to be friends with him if I must say.”

“Yes, yes, but let’s not forget about me,” slightly whines Hyunjin. “And correction, hard for you to not be friends with everyone. We’ll visit Felix and I’ll make sure you meet him, Y/N. But that shall be for another day when the sun hangs as now, we mustn’t waste any more time. Farewell, Chan!” Still holding your hand, he tugs you forward to where you previously left off.

“I’ll be sure to see you again, Chan!” You glance over your shoulder, giving him a bright face.

“Farewell!”

Small conversations fill up the time that’s basking under the tattered sunlight, feet now walking on a stone trail where the forest seems to set clear into a field. Who knew venturing to a garden could grant so much little details about a person? The two of you would exchange questions that were yearning to be answered. He’d ask you about the different opportunities in your world to your favorite things, like flowers and colors. You’d ask the same, along with your curiosities of his royal heir. Turns out, he’s the next in line for the throne and his favorite color is red. Turns out, he dreams of someday owning a dog.

Little things like that.

“I’m assuming this is it?” Stopped in the tracks, you stand before a stone archway supporting dark wooden doors with black iron handles. Green vines ravel around the tall arch and stone walls, small pink blossoms appearing every here and there.

Hyunjin releases your hand, clapping joyously with crescent eyes. “Yes, we have most certainly arrived!” He steps forward, pulling the door out and gesturing towards the opening. “After you, my lady!”

“Thank you!”

You make your way pass the entrance, now entering a world splashed with even more vibrant colors. Blossoming trees stand tall, small shrubs dotted with warm-colored flowers, and bushes branching high wrapped in every color a garden could possibly hold. Few smooth stone benches are neatly placed throughout and behind the stone trail that’s willing to take your around the base of the garden, willing to show you as much as Hyunjin is. Intaking even further little wonders: The small bright caterpillars resting on leaves, red birds chirping their melody, sapphire-blue butterflies visiting, and flowers consisting of either loosely flared petals or neatly compact ones. Even the gentle breeze puffing through makes the garden more alive as it slowly sways.

The sight alone leaves you breathless. Leaves you breathless as it should for being such a lush garden you’ve never thought you’d ever see. Like one that jumped out of a fairytale book. Like one that has been experiencing an everlasting season of Spring.

One step after another and many more. A reaching hand, pointing out to a branch holding small white flowers, petals in a formation of a star.

“I insist you smell this one, it’s one of my favorite scents.”

Fingers gently wrapping around the branch, you pull it slightly down in your face, nose up against the blossom that it tickles your skin. The scent is soft, but still rich in a sensual sweetness. With a helpless smile, you turn to Hyunjin’s face which is rather quite closer than you recall, catching you a bit off guard but still leaving you to maintain composure.

“I see why it’s one of your favorites, it smells very pleasant.”

“Indeed.” His hot breath is felt against your skin, brown twinkling eyes adoring into yours, but only to be pulled away as a hysterical laugh booms from outside the walls.

“Fucking hell,” Mutters Hyunjin who has nothing but disappointment plastered upon his face. “Why must the world be so cruel when all I want is to show you peacefully around.”

“It’s okay, I certainly don’t mind. Unexpected company or not, I am without a doubt enjoying myself here,” You assure the boy, lightly patting his shoulder.

The dark doors open with a small creak, the iron handle given a clinking sound. The garden is now accompanied by three, the extra uninvited guest standing and peering at the two of you, face offering no emotion. The man’s finger scratches the side of his head of disheveled black hair. He stands tall, wearing what seems to be a spade card of seven draped over a black attire.

“Your majesty, I kindly expect to be informed about this situation here,” The stranger speaks huskily, face remaining still as stone.

“I assure you not to worry. I am spending the day with a very good friend of mine, nothing in the absurd. Now, what has had you sent here?”

“The Queen demands a fresh bouquet of fine red roses for tomorrow’s banquet, and with such the finely wild roses here, I bound to return to the castle after picking them.”

Hyunjin chuckles, hand slipping down to grab a hold of yours. “Quite a coincidence! You may go ahead as my dear friend and I were actually preparing to leave.” A lie. Definitely a lie since Hyunjin planned on staying for at least an hour more of telling you tales about the flowers. “Let’s go, Y/N,” He whispers in your ear, which most certainly doesn’t raise any suspicion from the newcomer or any confusion from you at all…

He leads you to exit the garden, hand gripping yours gently but firmly, and footsteps noticeably hurried, nervous one might manage point out. The other male just moves his head, fiercely glaring over his shoulder right into your eyes. That there just shares an anxious shiver down your spine. Everyone seemed more than friendly, or that is, until he approached. The intimidating sight disappears as Hyunjin closes the door behind, now letting out a sigh. A sigh of what? Relief or panic, perhaps both Hyunjin might answer.

Continuing to pull you forward back to where you previously came from, you quietly clear your throat, asking, “What was that about?”

There obviously was something off in the atmosphere once the strange man dressed as a card entered. The short visited garden due to the cold glares and insisted exits, a nervous undertone from your friend.

“I deeply apologize, darling. I did not plan on getting your hopes high only to leave so soon. I’m sorry for any uncomfortable feelings.” He sighs once again, head hanging low. A purposely dodged question, but an uttermost sincere apology to note.

You were itching to ask the question once again of what really had happened, but peering at him and taking notice of the frown that never left his face, you knew better than to. Looking slightly down with eyebrows knitted, he’s clearly deep in thought, and if only you could, you’d even see the worry dancing around in his eyes. Aside from this, something in the air already told you it’d be best to leave the conversation as is. So, to your unfortunates, you push all your questions of concern to the back of your head.

“It’s not a worry at all. Though the time was short, it’s been a long time since I’ve felt this happy. So, very much, thank you, Hyunjin! This day still doesn’t fail to come to my appreciations.”

“A relief to hear that, so thank you. If you ache to see more as much as I, perhaps I could take you somewhere else? There’s a lovely river not too far; dozens of rose bushes remain untainted. I could take you there if you’d like. Maybe we could paint too.” He returns your gaze, his frown washed away, but bites his lip from nervousness. “B-but, if you’re not comfortable with that or want to go home, I-I can take you, it’s n-not a problem!”

“No, it’s okay, I promise!” A guilty pleasure: Hearing his stutters and seeing the tips of his ears burning red; It’s adoring to be the most honest. “I’d love to visit the river with the roses you speak of.”

The clouds faintly hang above in the soft pink and purple hued blue. There wasn’t all day left, but like dangerously piling berries in a basket or collecting more flowers than your hands are meant to hold, there still was time to stretch and spend until the last ounce.

And with all worries dissipated, he looks at you with a tender smile and crescent eyes.

And once again, such a look from him doesn’t miss to make your heart flutter.

“AH! So, the truthful words you dare to spill, my own son with such a girl! And despite being cornered in the garden, you dare not to get a hold of her?” Shrieks a high-pitched voice followed by frenzied giggles, all echoing off the castle’s marble walls.

“Your majesty, it did not seem the wisest choice at the time! Making such an impression that has a chance of failing? Why, the prince wouldn’t even let me approach her from several feet away! And—”

“You never fail to surprise me, always going about and missing opportunities like a mad fool with only a crooked mind. Especially when you bring me this news! You’ve outdone yourself, surely!” The Queen bursts out in even louder cackles, her head thrown back against the throne. The man of a seven spades card stands before her, hands fumbling around and nervously chuckling, unsure if he should join in on the laughter and unsure of his next move. The Queen then snaps, straightening her posture, leering with eyes that could nearly tear the guard apart themselves.

“YOU GODDAMN PRICK!!!” Everyone standing within the throne room flinches, which the Queen proudly notices. “Look! Look! I can promise next time will be worse if this girl isn’t in my grasp by the next four weeks! I can’t have the prince abandoning his duties and own throne like this nor does she even belong here. I truly cannot let my Wonderland given to her just like that!”

Every word is spit out with passion. Sinisterly passion. Pure insanity from the Queen of Hearts.

“Perhaps she isn’t as bad as most of us assume, your majesty. Perhaps! You should at least get to know of her and her capabilities,” Suggests the seven spades guard whose trying everything in his strength to not tremble under the intimidating gaze.

“I will gladly take your opinion, but I do have a request or two.”

“Yes, what ever is it you’d like me to do?”

“Follow them. Follow her! I’d like to know everything possible, from her effect on the Prince to how she even got here. But! You hollow-minded fool, please do be most utterly discreet about it.”

“As you wish, your majesty.”

#hwang hyunjin imagines #hwang hyunjin x reader #hyunjin imagines #hyunjin x reader #hyunjin #stray kids #stray kids x you #stray kids x reader #hyunjin fluff #hyunjin fanfic #hyunjin oneshot #stray kids oneshot #stray kids imagines #skz ff #skz scenarios #skz x reader #skz x you #hwang-hyunjin-x-reader #hwang hyunjin

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magicofthepen · 3 years

Note

Having put some amount of thought into similar concepts, I would very much love to hear about “Gallifrey BUT FANTASY”

Send me a WIP doc title (list here) and I’ll talk about it!

Thank you for asking about this one! It’s an idea that’s been slowly coalescing for at least a year and a half now – it’s never quite made it onto the active projects list because it’s a big one, and I keep having other big projects that I want to tackle first. But I love gradually coming back to and building this au, and hopefully I’ll write it eventually?

The general world premise is pretty straightforward: magic replaces both time travel and regeneration, so it’s a magic-based world instead of a tech-based one, and also the ability to do magic is only given to certain Gallifreyans (a Time Lords = mages sort of thing). Also in this world the different temporal powers/planets are different countries/kingdoms/empires.

The story itself would be a series of three longfics that starts with a very narrow cast and gradually broadens to a more sprawling epic fantasy vibe as the series continues. A quick overview:

Fic 1 is a Romana/Leela Rapunzel AU (inspired by Tangled specifically tbh), ft. Pandora as the Mother Gothel figure.

Fic 2 is the immediate aftermath of Romana’s return to Gallifrey and the "power struggle over the throne” conflict that emerges between her and Darkel. (Narvin and Brax show up in this one.)

Fic 3 is set some number of years after Fic 2. It’s a “Pandora returns” fic, but narratively it’s more inspired by the Time War. Devastating magical conflict, large cast of characters, but does have a hopeful/happy-ish ending. (Also: Romana/Leela/Narvin endgame.)

Lots more rambling under the cut:

Fic 1: Rapunzel AU

This fic is technically Tangled-inspired, but I should disclaim that I haven’t actually seen Tangled in many years, so my memories of it are somewhat vague? But there’s one scene from Tangled that inspired a scene in this fic, plus a certain similar enemies-to-friends-to-lovers vibe going on, and some inspiration for Leela’s backstory (if I’m remembering that movie correctly)?

Romana is the Rapunzel figure, of course. The heiress stolen away from the kingdom as a very young child, so she doesn’t remember anything before being raised by Pandora. In this story, Pandora’s endgame isn’t to keep her trapped away forever – she’s grooming Romana to be able to possess her when the time is right and take the throne for herself. (Still need to work out a lot of plot details, including how much contact Romana has with the outside world, how Pandora is able to manifest without a body?? (because she’s definitely still a dark spirit of some kind in this world....), the exact nature of magic and magical rituals and how exactly Pandora stealing Romana and raising her benefits her endgame.)

(Also there’s an Etra Prime reference here, with Romana being trapped away from the world for twenty years. In this au, Pandora is also the stand-in for the Daleks – aka who/what Romana is most afraid of and traumatized by.)

Leela’s backstory is a work in progress, so I don’t want to say too much in case I change it, but at the point her life and Romana’s collide, she’s lived in Gallifrey before and it was not a good time. (On a side note: I feel like this fic may be a thinly veiled excuse to give Leela a sword.)

This fic majorly focuses on Romana and Leela’s relationship arc, aka “extremely sheltered book smart mage who's been cut off from love and connection her whole life” meets “warrior who’s traveled a lot but has never really found a home anywhere and is (probably?) on the run from the Gallifreyan authorities for Reasons.” Short version: their lives collide, Romana gets tangled up in Leela’s plot drama (which is also mostly tbd) and ends up sneaking away from Pandora, they fall in love, just as Romana starts to see how much she’s been used and manipulated her whole life, Pandora tries to tear them apart and use both of them as pawns in her plan. Of course, they defeat her and all ends well (for now).

Fic 2: Struggle for the Throne

For Reasons (that will be uncovered later), the throne of Gallifrey has quite recently become vacant – just in time for Romana and Leela to show up in the capital city (they don’t ever go there in Fic 1). Romana just wanted to see where she was from after finally escaping Pandora, but in this world, Gallifrey has some sort of monarchy/inheritance of power thing going on, and Romana is actually the closest heir to the throne. The next closest is Darkel, who assumed she would take the throne, before Romana suddenly returns from the dead.

Except Romana didn’t come back to take the throne. That was Pandora’s plan, Romana doesn’t know what she wants to do with her life and had no idea that she was walking into a power vacuum situation. But she ends up seeing how very terrible Darkel is, and how very terrible Gallifrey is, and starts genuinely wanting to be in charge so she can Change Things. She sees how terrible Gallifrey is to Leela (and other outsiders and non-mages) and wants to make this place better for her.....but over time gets swept up in the power struggles and the need to court favor with the other royals, which strains her relationship with Leela.

Meanwhile, Leela’s dealing with returning to Gallifrey, a place where she already feels unwelcome (and probably is in some trouble with the law and needs to clear her name? again, lots of backstory details are tbd). And so she ends up struggling to decide if she really wants to be with Romana, if Romana’s going to end up in charge of this kingdom.....but she also hates Darkel and wants to help defeat her claim to the throne? I think there’s also going to be a plot thread in Fic 1 involving the village Leela was born in, and if so, this fic will also be dealing with the fallout of those events from Fic 1. (Keeping things vague because it’s all pretty up in the air right now.)

And we finally meet spymaster Narvin, who is a main character from here through the rest of the series! I’m not going to get into his backstory in this au right now (because some things are still tbd, some things I don’t want to spoil), but he is not pleased about this young upstart heiress showing up out of nowhere and getting power handed to her without ever actually living in this kingdom. He doesn’t trust that she’s actually loyal to Gallifrey, especially since rumor has it she was raised and given/taught magic by some dark spirit – which goes against the long-standing Gallifreyan traditions of how magic is granted and taught and raises some major questions about how safe the kingdom would be in her hands. (These are also the prevailing arguments in general for tossing Romana’s claim to the throne.)

Narvin and Leela also have.....a history. Not a particularly positive one.

So this fic is also slowburn enemies-to-friends with Narvin + Romana and Narvin + Leela, as they gradually grow to understand and trust each other, and ultimately all work together against Darkel.

Brax is also in this fic? I am quite nervous about Brax being in this fic (I don’t feel qualified to write Brax! I usually avoid writing Brax for that reason!) But he’s the main “well-respected mage from an old family” who actually vouches for Romana and tries to help soothe the fears of the more conservative royals about supporting her claim to the throne. I’d also like to do a version of the “Brax as Romana’s tutor” thing, where he ends up working with her on developing her magic, since she didn’t go through the Academy system and is worried that her magic is tainted by Pandora. There may also end up being an almost-arranged marriage plotline with Romana and Brax, where certain people would be more willing to support Romana’s claim if she married someone respectable (and this is another thing that drives a wedge in Romana and Leela’s relationship). (She ends up turning him down, ultimately.)

So it’s a fic about characters figuring out what they want in life and figuring out how to communicate better with each other and be better at relationships and friendships, all the while trying to stop Darkel from seizing the throne.

Fic 3: Magical War

So there’s a significant time skip between Fic 2 and Fic 3 where the characters are going about their lives post-Darkel’s defeat and trying to make Gallifrey a somewhat less terrible place.

But, however Romana and Leela defeat Pandora in Fic 1, it isn’t permanent. And when Pandora returns, it’s with an army of magical spirits (or something along those lines) that are slowly encroaching on the kingdom and poisoning magic itself (aka the Dogma virus But Fantasy).

I don’t want to spoil too many of the plot details here, but this fic is a lot of “fantasy twist on specific events in the Gallifrey audios” – it draws some elements from the civil war, some from the Time War (especially because of that whole “Pandora is also Metaphorically the Daleks” thing), plus some other Specific Things from other audios. (Basically, I tossed the Gallifrey audios in a soup and stirred and made it fantasy?)

Slow skirmishes and terrible attacks on the outskirts of the kingdom keep happening, Pandora’s forces draw closer and closer until they reach the capitol itself – and things go very wrong, and our main characters end up needing to wrest control back from Pandora (which may involve upending the entire system of magic in Gallifrey in the process? again, still figuring out how this fic is going to end – all I know is that unlike the actual audios, it will be a hopeful/happy ending). Lots of personal sacrifices are made, lots of old traumas need to be grappled with. Also re: Narvin/Leela and Narvin/Romana, this is the “friends to lovers” part of the “enemies to friends to lovers” slowburn arc.

(Probably my biggest writing struggle for this fic is that I don’t really know what Brax’s arc is going to be. I’m not that familiar with Brax (I only know him from the Gallifrey audios), and I’m not strongly invested in his character, so I don’t feel like I’d do a good job writing him? But this is an ensemble fic and I can’t just ignore his character, so. it’s a challenge I don’t yet know how to deal with?)

But overall, one of the reasons I’m quite interested in this fic series is because it gives me the chance to write a version of these characters’ stories where things do get rough, but they do get a happy ending of sorts. (And more specifically, I get to write a version of Romana’s story where her self-sacrificing/suicidal tendencies actually get addressed, and she slowly starts to heal.)

So that was a lot of rambling and vagueness, but thanks for giving me the excuse to talk about this au! It’s quite a daunting project (I have little experience with longfic and with plotty fic), but I’d really love to tackle it someday! (And I would love to hear about any fantasy aus you’ve developed!!)

#gallifreyanathearts #gallifrey audios #romana x leela #gallifrey ot3 #this idea didn't start out as three fics #it was a collection of multiple ideas that kept wanting to tie together and eventually morphed into this shape #and every time i spend time thinking about it i get very excited about it :)#also one of the many reasons i want to write fic 1 is that there is no romana/leela longfic and there should be #(i realize it would be an au fic But Still)#ramblings #asks

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wwilloww · 4 years

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athair lusa | pjm

athair lusa, the ground ivy, springing up from the soil with rich, purple flowers and broad green leaves.

Origin: Ireland

Pairing: Jimin x FaePrince!Taehyung

Genre: Folklore. Suspense. Fae!Au.

Rating: NC-17

WC: 2.4k

Summary: “Is it not a strange request,” Jimin says, “to ask me to dance when there is no music?” While on his way to draw water from the well, Jimin slips on a rock. When he stands up again, the world around him seems unrecognizable, as if everything has been dusted with an unfamiliar enchantment.

Warnings: Possessive behavior.

A/N: This story, also known as “The Fairy Dance,” is a story I grew up to, one that was told to me over and over. I consider this to be part of a larger personal project to queer the stories I grew up on. It’s an effort to normalize the presence of queerness in lore and unravel gendered expectations within folktales. Because of this I’ve done my best to stick to the oral telling of this story in both content and style - meaning the writing differentiates itself significantly from my usual style! This project is special to me and I truly hope you enjoy it. I can’t wait to hear what you think of it.

Thank you to @jingabitch for helping me when I felt most stuck with this! Thanks a million to my love @ot7always for editing the image in this banner and listening to me ramble. And of course a hUGE THANKS to the lovely folk in BTS Smut Hub for being my constant inspiration and motivation.

And finally, this is part of @ksmutclub’s Twisted Fairytale collaboration!

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Athair-Lusa.

In a town on the western most coast of the Isle, there lived a young man with hair that shone like the rays of August sun. He was beloved by the townspeople, known for the enchanting melodies that lifted from his lips like birdsong, ensnaring anyone in range. His name was Jimin.

One day in late November, as the night began to draw in, Jimin set down his reading and readied himself to go out into the darkness. He preferred the stillness of sunset and often went out at this time, just to hear the soft hymn of the world slipping slowly into sleep.

Now, it has long been known that the Veil between worlds is thinnest in November. As the remaining veins of summer fade from the land, spirits and creatures of the other worlds come to press up against the thin border between their world and ours. Even nighttime comes to linger, snatching time away from the golden fingers of the sun.

On this night, Jimin decided to take his walk to the well to gather water. He swung his wooden bucket over his shoulder and set off into the darkness. The trees stood tall above him, watching his path. Jimin felt the hair on his neck raise, as if something was watching him from the shadows. However, rather than turning home, he lifted his face to the night sky and sang. The music spilling from his lips split through the darkness of the night, and Jimin felt a sense of peace wash over him.

As the small stone structure of the well came into sight, his foot slipped. He could feel his ankle twisting, and then the feeling of falling through empty space. The air wooshed up around him as he fell.

His back hit the hard earth of the path, crushing the breath out of his lungs. For a moment, Jimin simply lay there, taking deep breaths to calm the fright in his body.

When he lifted his head, his old wooden bucket was nowhere to be seen. Instead of a path hardened by thousands of years of travelers, Jimin lay on a soft field of grass, shimmering emerald green beneath the full moon. Around him, everything seemed as if it had been touched by an enchantment. The trees, whose leaves had dropped a month ago, were now blossoming with flowers of the most brilliant colors. The chill of the winter air was replaced with a soft and warm breeze, lifted off a summer sea. And as he looked up at the sky, the moon hung twice as large, as if she had come down from her high throne in the sky to take a closer look at the goings-on of the people below.

As Jimin sat up, he saw a great crowd gathered a short distance away. As his vision cleared, he realized that they were circled round a fire that danced and leaped and seemed to reach out to the figures surrounding it. As if his mind had been wiped clean of thought, Jimin stood and began to move towards the crowd, mystified by their tall frames and slender figures.

Jimin himself was of average height, his body built like the land. Ready to work, ready to dance. But at this moment in time, Jimin’s body drew him forward towards the beings that stood round the fire, till at last, he stood in the very midst of them.

They held onto their silence, watching his every step. It was at this moment that he thought to be afraid. But as he made to step backward, to step out of their circle, he realized he could not.

Panic began to rise in his throat like bile, setting his muscles alight. Just as he opened his mouth to scream, the crowd around him turned and parted and a handsome young man stepped into view. Jimin’s eyes widened as he took in the figure, who walked like a prince. He wore a red sash, deep as freshly drawn blood. A golden band dressed his long dark hair, shining like the sky on the eve of a new moon.

Jimin’s heart thrummed in his chest as he realized the handsome prince was approaching him. He walked slowly towards him, allowing his eyes to rove over the young man. When he finally reached him, he bowed and extended a hand. An offering.

“Is it not a strange request,” Jimin said, “to ask me to dance when there is no music?”

The prince raised his head from the deep bow and swept his hand into the air. Instantly, the sweetest music carried through the night, surrounding them. He took Jimin’s hand with one of his own, wrapping the other one tightly around his waist. Jimin gasped as his chest was brought to the prince’s, their closeness sending warmth to his cheeks.

"What is your name, dear stranger?" Jimin asked, his brow furrowed. His words seemed to stick in his throat, bewilderment flooding his mind. Such a handsome stranger had never wrapped him up like this before, in such beauty, in such enchantment.

The prince smirked. "You may call me Taehyung."

"Are you a prince of these people?"

"If that is the word you use—then yes."

Jimin opened his mouth to ask more, but the Prince silenced him with a twirl, sending all thought of questioning the strange being before him out of his mind.

They danced until the moon became tired and went to sleep beneath the darkness of the horizon and the stars took their leave from the dance floor. As the prince twirled him round the fire, it seemed as if Jimin was gliding through the air. He had always been known by the townsfolk for his light touch and graceful step. But in the prince’s arms, Jimin’s body felt different. The strain of the movements was eased and he felt boundless energy spring up in his chest beneath the attentive gaze of the prince.

"I have never seen a man dance with your grace," the Prince mused, his gaze falling to Jimin's lips. "Or known one to capture such beauty in his every movement."

Jimin was not used to such flattery. His cheeks were painted with his embarrassment, he ducked his head. The Prince was quick to lift his chin, bringing his face ever-so-close.

“Do you like me, sweet boy?” the Prince asked, tilting his head.

“I do not know you,” Jimin replied, slowly. “How do I know if I like you if I have just met you?”

“There is an eternity to get to know me.” A smirk flashed across the Prince’s sharp features before he pulled Jimin tightly against his tall frame and spun him further into the dance.

Twirling around the fire, it became easy to forget the rest of the world. For that moment, all that existed was the feeling of his feet leaping off the ground, and the low music, and the feeling of being held so tightly by his partner.

Just as Jimin began to feel like time was slipping away from him, the figures around him stilled and the music slowed to a complete halt. The prince still had his arms wrapped around the smaller man, his face pressed close and curious.

"Will you dine with us tonight, dear Jimin?" the prince asked, his voice threaded with sweetness. Jimin's gaze fell to the prince's lips where a small smile played along the pink, plush corner. He wondered when the Prince had learned his name.

Before he could answer, the ground rumbled and split open, a long staircase descending into the darkness of the earth. The prince held out a hand, and hesitating, Jimin took it. Despite the warmth of the tall man's palm, Jimin's skin erupted in goosebumps.

The prince led him down the flight of steps, the rest of the dancers following silently behind. It seemed as if the stairs might never end, the rock around them becoming darker and warmer as they descended. After an unspeakable time, the steps widened and a great hall appeared before them, lit by thin candles that stood as tall as Jimin. As he looked up at the ceiling of the hall, he realized there was no roof, despite the depth to which they had descended. Instead, a yawning darkness looked down upon the company and untethered, unsourced lights bobbed gently through the air as if upon an invisible current. Before them lay a great table, heaped with every delicacy Jimin had ever conceived of and decanters filled with the most aromatic wines.

The Prince squeezed his hand tenderly, guiding him to the head of the table. There, the Prince took the golden plated chair and motioned for Jimin to take the one beside it. Gratefully, he bowed his head and slipped silently into the seat, admiring the gentle merriment and splendor laid before him.

As Jimin took the scene before him in, the Prince leaned closer to him, reaching out to twirl a piece of his light hair between his fingers.

“I’ve always wanted this,” the Prince said, his eyes never leaving the man’s hair.

“W-what?”

The Prince seemed to catch himself and pulled himself out of his reverie.

“I am a collector of beautiful things,” he said, as if that explained his strange words.

“I don’t understand.”

The Prince smiled softly, running his finger down Jimin’s nose and over his lips.

“Then drink and be merry,” he sang, his voice strung together in the most beautiful melody.

A dark-haired lady came between the Prince and Jimin, holding a jewel-encrusted decanter. Bowing her head, she first filled the Prince's cup, her hands wrapping slender and delicate around the silver handle. But as Jimin watched, he realized there was a slight tremble to her movements. He looked up at her, only to see her eyes darting to and from the Prince and his newest companion.

The young lady came around Jimin's other side, and as she leaned over to pour his golden goblet full of the sweet wine, she whispered in his ear, "Eat no food, and drink no wine or you will never see your home again."

With that, the woman stood abruptly and disappeared down one of the many hallways that spotted the great chamber.

Jimin quickly set the cup down on the table. The Prince took note of this, his eyebrows raised in curiosity.

"My dear, sweet Jimin," he said, his voice threading through the air like song. His voice spoke of softness, of tender touches exchanged in the dark. And yet, as Jimin gazed upon him, he saw the coldness in the Prince's gaze. "Do you not enjoy the taste of my wine?"

"No, no," he said, quick to unravel the tension of the moment. "I am simply not thirsty."

The Prince leaned into him, a smile spreading across his lips. "After all that dancing, you must be thirsty." He brought the cup to Jimin's lips, but he held his mouth shut.

The others at the table had fallen silent to watch the Prince hold the goblet to the man’s lips.

A large one with silver hair that fell to his waist stood abruptly from his chair, knocking it back in the process. "Whoever comes to our table must drink with us," he growled, grabbing Jimin's arm. A deep shock ran through him, stopping his heart.

At that moment a red-haired lass, her hair split into intricate braids, snatched Jimin's free hand and tugged him from the grasp of the large silver-haired being.

"Run!" she commanded, tugging Jimin towards the stairs. The pair wove their way towards the entrance, dodging the grasp of the dancers.

Around him, Jimin could hear the bellowing anger of the Prince, echoing off the walls of the hall as if he stood in every corner. Chairs and platters crashed to the floor as his subjects jumped up, attempting to stop his exit.

While Jimin was not large and while he did not hold the brute strength that many men boasted about, he was graceful and swift. Guided by the red-haired woman's agile steps, his pace was quick, as if he had learned this kind of dance many many years ago.

The pair sprinted up the steps, hand-in-hand, until they emerged into the dark night. The coolness of the early winter air washed over them, bathing their red faces and stinging their lungs. From the satchel that hung round her waist, the woman withdrew a vine. She grabbed Jimin’s hand, opening it up so she could place the plant securely. With tenderness, she wrapped her hand around his, closing it in a fist.

"You are safe for the time being," she said, her breath heavy with effort. "Take this, and hold it until you reach home. No one can harm you." Jimin opened his palm to look down upon the large-leafed plant. Athair-Lusa. Ground ivy.

"Thank you," he whispered.

The woman nodded, a sad smile playing across her lips. Her eyes shone with the kind of grief that only one who knows their own destiny can hold.

Jimin could hear the sounds of footsteps running up the stairs and so he took the white and green plant and turned his back on the field, the stairs, and the man who had held him so tenderly; and he ran. He ran along the sward and through the forests surrounding the town, past the well, and across the path. At last, he reached his home. He threw open the wooden door and locked it behind him.

His heart beat so quickly and furiously he worried it would pound its way straight through his ribcage. Behind his back pressed to the door, he could hear a great sound emerge from the forest and a voice cried out to him—

"The power I had over you is gone through the magic of the herb that ties you to this world. But when you dance again to our music, you will stay with me forevermore, and nothing shall hinder that eternity."

Jimin closed his eyes, clutching the herb to his chest. When he had regained his breath, he made his way over to the small bed tucked in the corner of his small home, folding the leafy plant carefully beneath the collar of his shirt.

It took a while before sleep came for him, and when it did, it was restless and dreamless.

However, Jimin kept the magic branch safely tucked into his clothes every day and the Fae never troubled him.

But it took many years before the sweet, low sound of music and the searing eyes of the Prince left his dreams.

taglist: @ppersonna @thatlongspringnight @myimaginationsrunningwild @ladyartemesia @ezralia-writes @ggukcangetit

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lightninginabottle0613 · 4 years

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some post-ttlr reflections 🚌💛

typing this from beyond the grave, as you all have killed me/are continuing to kill me with your sweet comments on this epilogue. what are you all doing, why are you all perfect angels. why was my “””epilogue””” the longest goddamn chapter of this story. i have so many questions and not a single answer.

if you are at all interested in some deeply personal ramblings and feelings (tw: depression and mental health and all of that), those are below the cut. i was honestly just looking for a place to dump them all, so i could properly process this whole experience that completely turned my life upside down in a matter of months. but if i learned anything from writing this story, it’s that maybe some people can relate to what i’m feeling! so they’re there - if that’s something that floats your boat.

if not (and you will not offend me, seriously, it’s long lol), then please please please just know one thing - i love every single person who read this story. i can’t believe it’s over and i’m going to miss the fuck out of it, but i’m so happy that i could write something worthy of consumption for a fandom/pairing that is so close to my heart. i sort of felt the whole time like i wished i had waited until it was finished to start posting, instead of updating after i was done each chapter, but looking back - i’m so glad i didn’t. this story was so heavy in so many ways, and every comment and private message made me want to keep writing. so much about this felt like a shared experience and a collaborative effort, even as the author, so i just want to say thank you to anyone who showed it even the slightest amount of attention. i can’t wait to keep writing both for and among such incredible people.

(also, i would be remiss if i didn’t say a special thank u/i love u to @yanak324 and @harrenhollaback. for the emotional support and for gifting me with friendships i never expected when i joined this community. i owe you both more than i can say.)

ok hey! i’ll get right to it - 2019 was the worst year of my life, and i very nearly didn’t survive it.

i’ve struggled with depression for about ten years, to varying degrees. it runs deep in my family, in pretty much every person on my mother’s side, and i didn’t learn that until about four years into my own mental health journey. my entire life, a lot was expected of me - not a super uncommon thing for an eldest child, i think. but as a result of a lot of repression from other people in my family of their own mental illnesses, i was confused by a lot of the heaviness i was feeling, and i thought i needed to handle it the same way, because that was the only example i had.

a lot of my progress was stunted after that, but i did start trying to make some changes when i turned 18. even so, i was doing a lot of the work on my own and in silence, and i still made a lot of decisions based on what i thought i should do, instead of giving myself the space and time to figure out what i actually wanted to do. i think my main focus for so long was just on not feeling sad anymore - because i was still so in the dark about the complexities of depression, and i had no idea how much work it actually takes to undo a lifetime of destructive behaviors and negative thought patterns.

my life was pretty nonstop from 18-24. for six years i dealt with one crisis after another. i was forced to react to all of them in real time, but i wasn’t able to thoroughly process any of them, and it wasn’t until may of 2019 that i realized just how brutal and damaging that pace was. that month was the first time that my life was even remotely calm for the first time in six years, and once my mind had a second to breathe, i realized just how numb it was.

i really, really did not want to be here anymore. i was so far down in the pit (something i’ve been calling it for about five years), that i could barely breathe. i can remember one specific saturday that month where i sat on the floor of my apartment for three hours in silence and didn’t eat a single thing until 6:00 that night. even now as i type this, i’m curbing the urge to call myself dramatic (ha), but i don’t know how else to describe it - other than saying that i quite literally could not function.

as suuuuper dumb and cheesy as this probably sounds, this was all concurrent with the last season of game of thrones and my subsequent discovery of the character of arya (i hadn’t consumed any asoiaf content prior to last year). i was so fascinated by her - i know so many arguments can be made that show!arya was not really her by the end of it, but trust and believe that i have read everything about book!arya that i can get my hands on. i had never seen so much of myself in a character before - both book and show - and i found such a comfort in watching her navigate childhood and deal with trauma and learn how to be vulnerable.

i couldn’t tell you the first fic i found or even how i stumbled across ao3 to begin with. but i can tell you that - not unlike probably anyone reading this, lol - i think i tore through like five stories a day for the entire summer. you know that post that’s like ‘all i did this summer was read fanfiction and cry’ ? hello. LITrully all i did. reading so many different authors’ takes on a character that i connected with so deeply and how she leaned into love/grew from pain/strengthened her convictions was a catharsis i’d never experienced before.

i had a massive upheaval in my personal life toward the end of august that resulted in my living out of a hotel room for five days, and one of those days i blinked and had 6K words of a gendrya fic written. it contained zero of the angst and pain i was feeling, and i still have no idea which deep recess of my brain it came from. it was light and silly, and i had no intention to continue beyond that, honestly. and then the literal first comment i ever got was from someone that said ‘please don’t let this be a one-shot,’ and i suddenly realized i was doing something so harmful (something that’s been a habit of mine for so, so long, but one that fic-writing has forced me to break) - i had found something that i genuinely enjoyed, but i was talking myself out of pursuing it, because my own insecurities were telling me it wouldn’t be worth it.

ttlr was supposed to be similarly light. i’d seen a post on a really long prompt list that was written by someone whose parents actually met in the same way that gendry and arya meet in the story, and i thought it was hilarious and serendipitous and perfect for their canon storyline, which is very much a pseudo-road trip in a way. i wanted arya to have struggles with depression and self-worth, because that’s true to my interpretation of her character, and i knew i wanted to sort of explore her conflicts with catelyn as a bit of a side plot, but nothing could have prepared me for how heavy the story became. the basic gendrya plot remained the same, but the rest of the story strayed so far from the outline i planned out, in the best way.

i really hate to call it self-insertion, because i think that sort of cheapens the messages i started to try to send with each chapter, but almost every non-gendrya detail in the story is something that’s happened to me. 99% of arya’s conversation with catelyn in chapter 10 came from verbatim text messages between my mom and me, that i had to scroll back to in order to reference. i struggled so much with how to characterize ned, because i think he’s sort of difficult to get right since a lot of his canon characterization is learned through memories that other people have of him, but in this story, he is my dad. all of arya’s introspections and bad habits are mine, her conversations with her therapist are mine (adapted accordingly), and her attitude toward romantic love is mine. i do my best to keep a journal, but writing this story all but replaced that for me, for months.

so EVEN AS i slowly started to adjust to what this story was turning into for me personally, absolutely nothing could have prepared me for how it resonated with other people. depression is like a tailored suit. on the outside, it looks like any other suit for any other person, and it has a lot of the same surface-level features. but beyond that, it preys on your specific insecurities and traumas, and no one person’s experience is exactly the same as someone else’s - obviously, because no two people are exactly the same. so when i started getting comments and messages from people saying they felt seen and understood, and that my depiction of mental illness was like a punch in the gut/made them cry/was so true that it was at times hard to read, i knew that there was a reason that my brain wanted me to write this story, beyond my need for my own healing.

one of the best comments i got was from someone who said that in the future, if they ever met someone who said they didn’t understand depression, they were going to show them ttlr. i cried for like half an hour after i read that (like the choking, sobbing kind), because all i ever want to do is educate myself and other people on this really hard stuff, and make people feel like they have the right tools to be empathetic. i know that the story ended on a hopeful note - because there is always hope but it’s also a fiction story (and i would never write an un-hopeful ending for gendrya…miss me with that) - but i also really hoped to convey the idea that she still has work to do.

because i am so far from done, myself. i’m still living in the city i moved to when i thought that all i needed was physical space from my problems, and i’m finally (sort of) at a place where i can take the time i need to figure out where i’m meant to be next. i’m in my last semester of grad school, studying something that i recently learned i hate, because i picked it thinking it was the logical decision, and now it would be stupid to drop out. and i really did have that text conversation with my mother, but that was about nine months ago, and i currently haven’t spoken to her since new year’s day.

i’m also in therapy, and i’m slowly starting to reach back out to some of the people i love, who i’ve shut myself off from for the past eight months. i’m at a job that i kind of hate in a lot of ways, but it also allows me to have one-on-one time with people and help them develop, and that’s super fulfilling. and i have a real hobby now that i previously hadn’t done since before i was a teenager. that’s thanks in large part to arya, but it really comes down to this community of people.

i am fully aware that i’m on the younger side of the people in this fandom, and the last thing i want to do is come off as preachy. but while i have big plans to continue writing for these characters and treating them with the care they deserve, i also do really want to continue to be someone that can make people feel a little bit less alone (through the stories i tell, and beyond that). the entire journey of this story for me was a lesson in how to say what i feel in an unapologetic way, treat even the darkest and saddest parts of myself with the same amount of love that i do the happy parts, and hopefully create a space where people feel like they can do the same thing.

i read something once that said that a member of a family who actively chooses their own healing will go through a period where they become the enemy, because they’ve disrupted the family system. i don’t know that this is true all the time, but i think it’s a really eye-opening way to think about a lot of situations where people find themselves isolated even more for prioritizing their own recovery. it was certainly the case for me, anyway. again, i know that i’m young and i have a lot of life left to live, but (at the risk of sounding ….. dramatic) i have that life to live because i’m making that prioritization. if ttlr, and any other story i write, can serve as the reminder for at least one person that healing is a choice we make and a long road to travel - and based on the comments i’ve gotten, it sounds like it has - then there’s nothing more that i could ask for.

this story is my entire heart and soul. i worried every step of the way about whether i was doing justice to the characters, but i mostly just loved having an outlet for such tough stuff. i’m excited to write more, but i don’t know that anything will ever mean as much to me as this has. so thank you to every person that gave it the time of day (or night lol). writing it genuinely changed my life.

(also as an additional resource, i’m sharing this podcast interview with none other than the hero of winterfell herself. i watched this when it first came out, and i’ve watched it probably 50 times since. if you’ve made it this far in this post - first of all, omg. but also if anything i said struck a chord and you haven’t seen this, it’s a must-watch. she hits the nail on the head perfectly, and she puts so much into words that i was never able to before.)

my messages are always open. i am always free to talk about anything and everything mental health. if you’re struggling, just know that i’m with you and i love you. 💛

#gendrya #arya stark #personal #tw: depression

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greyestjoy · 5 years

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CHAPTER ELEVEN

Fandom: Game of Thrones/A Song of Ice and Fire

Rating: It’s Game of Thrones

Summary of the whole thang:

Joanna Lannister, Tywin Lannister's youngest, is a bastard. Even being named a true Lannister after proving herself as a child, the young lady is still struggling to find her true self. On top of that, she has been nicknamed a shrew, after scaring away every young suitor she meets. On her eighteenth name day, Joanna is given a choice by her father. Marry an old man or become a Silent Sister, devoted to the gods and virtue. But the opportunity to woo Robb Stark arises, and the young lioness agrees, determined to win the north in her favour. Who can say no to gain power in their country? Definitely not a Lannister.

Previous Chapter

"Pick your words carefully, there are some things it's not safe for even a bird to read, as they hide secrets in their feathers."

-Tyrion

There was something about the warmth of Robb's hand in hers that calmed her. She was sure that if he had not been holding onto her, she would be picking at the stitches on her dress, slowly breaking the dress by pulling out the thread, so she was very glad to have Robb's palm in hers. However, Joanna would have no need to be anxious had it not been for the way Robb was acting. He was silent as they walked through the courtyard. The only words he spoke as they made their way to the Guest House were acknowledgements to some of the people of the house as they passed.

Joanna looked at her shoes, thinking. She wanted to know if she had offended him, as it had not been her intention. In fact, she thought she was complimenting him. Joanna definitely hoped she hadn't ruined the night, as she had quite enjoyed their day together, and she thought Robb had too. On top of that, she thought that moments that they shared just chatting openly were special, she didn't get that very often, the only person she could truly talk like that with was Tyrion.

"Joanna," Robb spoke finally when they were just outside the guest house. His words broke the cold summer night, at least Joanna found it cold. As if Robb could read her thoughts, he grabbed her other hand. "I think you're right," his words left his mouth quickly and Joanna found herself looking into his eyes. They seemed to glow in the light, and Joanna was reminded of the way the beacons that sat on the land reflected onto the ocean when sailing at night. Her analysis of his eyes was cut short when he huffed loudly. Joanna saw that he was stumbling over his words, trying to make them go from his mind to his mouth. "What I want to say, is that if you're the best I'm going to get, then..." His eyes searched hers for a second, before he shook his head and chuckled to himself then continued. "I'm afraid that if you go back South with your family, I may never meet another girl half as kind, a quarter as smart, and not an ounce as beautiful." Joanna was silent, watching him. She felt a rush of guilt, he truly believed that she was who she appeared to be. But wasn't I myself? she thought. They had talked so openly earlier that Joanna was confused. "I want to marry you," he told her and Joanna nearly dropped his hands out of shock. Even if Joanna had seen this coming, she was still taken aback. Robb seemed to notice her startled body language and he continued his rambling. "I know we couldn't get married right now. By what you've said about your father I can tell he would not like that," Robb seemed to laugh as if he was intoxicated with life itself. "We would have to go South for the wedding." Joanna was beginning to come out of her shock. Her hands tightened once again in Robb's as she realized she had to take control over the situation before something went wrong. However, Robb was still rambling.

"Robb," Joanna spoke, unsure what her next words were going to be. "I would love to marry you," she tested out the words. They felt odd her mouth, as she wasn't quite sure whether or not it was a lie. Robb also did not seem convinced, his boyish glee was replaced with northern skepticism. "Truly," Joanna spoke. "I would." Robb did not respond, but he seemed to accept her answer. The two of them stood there for a bit, however, it felt like an eternity. No words were spoken, and everything seemed to go on pause as they waited for the gods to weave their fates.

"You should go see your family," Joanna pretended she was urging him, but she knew she was saying it more to herself. Her siblings would want to be the first ones to know of the news of the betrothal, in fact, Joanna wanted them to be. A part of her could not wait to tell Tyrion especially.

"Aye," he spoke softly, his eyes still searching Joanna's. He seemed to lean in, and Joanna copied him. She pressed her cold lips to his warm cheek and she thought she could feel a smile break out on his smooth face. When Joanna pulled away, she saw that she was right. Robb was grinning ear to ear, his face red. "Goodnight," his northern accent strong when he whispered.

"Goodnight," she spoke.

She found Jaime in his room, and to her luck, Tyrion was there also. Joanna had walked up the steps to where his room was, her heart had been beating in her chest. She was about to knock on the great wooden door, only to have a young woman open it. The pretty young woman had dark hair and stormy blue eyes.

"Is this not Jaime Lannister's room?" Joanna wondered if she went to the wrong room as she looked at the woman. The only woman that ever visited Jaime would be Cersei. Unless the woman wasn't here for Jaime...

"Joanna!" she heard Tyrion call to her from inside the room. Joanna peaked around the woman, who was trying to skirt out of the doorway. Inside the room sat Tyrion, who was obviously drunk, and Jaime who had retired out of his armour for the night. All of a sudden, Joanna couldn't hide her joy, which gave her the confidence to shout to t the young woman who began to walk down the hall.

"Excuse me!" Joanna yelled, getting the woman's attention. The dark-haired beauty turned to face Joanna. "Find the Queen, tell her her sister wants to see her," with that, Joanna walked into Jaime's room and shut the door behind her.

"Welcome, sister" Jaime grinned, his head cocked to the side while a glass of wine dangled in his fingers. His temperament was relaxed, with his cat-green eyes dancing with interest over why Joanna had the courage to summon Cersei as she had, that was until he saw the childish joy in Joanna's eyes. Jaime sat up straight in his chair, cocking his head to the other side. "What's going on?" Joanna didn't answer at first, she only grinned more wildly. She was waiting for Cersei to arrive so she could tell all of her siblings at once. Joanna already knew there would be secretive conversations using eye contact between the siblings when she told them, but Joanna did not care. She knew Tyrion would be happy for her, while Cersei's normally sour look would switch to a smug one, treating herself as if it was her who had made Robb ask Joanna for her hand.

However, it was Jaime that Joanna was worried about. The knight of the family cared deeply for his sister, certainly not the same way he cared for his twin, but in a true older brother fashion. There was a part of Joanna who feared that upon hearing the news, Jaime would don his armour and sword, then march to Robb's room and threaten him.

Joanna returned to her room soon after their conversation. She was basically accurate about their reactions to the news of the betrothal. But for some unknown reason, Cersei was beyond ecstatic. She had smiled deeply, her face not troubled for once. Joanna wished to ask her about why she was so pleased, but the younger sister feared that Cersei's look would change and she would chastise her for summoning her.

Joanna had told her siblings the news, but now it was time to tell her father. Silently, she took out paper and laid it gingerly on the old wooden table. She then got up from the stool to search in the trunk in front of her bed for the carefully packed quill and ink. Once she acquired the items, Joanna took a deep breath and began to plan out the letter to her father. After some time, the cub picked up her quill, dipping it softly, then began to write about her fresh kill to the Alpha of the Pride.

Dear Father,

The trip North was long. After three days in Winterfell, Robb Stark has expressed interest in marrying me. I am confident that the next time you see me, it will be my wedding day.

Joanna

TAGS:

@kingniazx

@hornsandcrowns

(Tags are 100% open lol)

#game of thrones #game of thrones imagine #game of thrones imagines #game of thrones fanfiction #robbrobb #robb stark #robb stark fanfiction #tywin lannister #cersei lannister #tyrion lannister #house stark #house lannister #house baratheon

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shaysaysayheihei · 6 years

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We May Have Won but At What Cost

This is my first time writing a small one shot. This short story is not saying some ships are better than others I was just feeling angst and wanted some fluff w/ fluff. This was for the Harmonia event Lotor Ship Week. Today was day one victory/Defeat. I Attempted mixing both so um... Enjoy

We May Have Won but At What Cost

It’s bright and soft chatter and laughter fills the conference room. Lance keeps a soft formal smile on his face to keep prying eyes from his quiet corner. He stood there and scanned the area seeing the Paladins and Lotor talking with other leaders of the coalition against the Galra Empire. He stood there looking pretty they discussed the recent victory they achieved with Lotor ascending the Galra throne. Lance was proud of this achievement but he personally feels he lost a part of himself the last couple of months. Although Allura has warmed up to him there is still a giant gap between them. This is not including the way Pidge and Hunk seem to have replaced him with each other. But hey Lance understands three is a crowd. Sighing inaudibly his smile fades a smidge and he feels the glare coming from the person he admires most and feels his chest tighten. He turns towards Shiro and smiles apologetically and all he gets from the Black Paladin is a disappointed stare before ignoring him once again. Lance feels his eyes sting and his smile waiver. To hold back his emotions, he clenches his hands before taking a deep breath not noticing the stare from the certain male they were celebrating that evening.

Having enough of standing around he heads towards Pidge and Hunk trying to be included in the conversation; but to no avail he was left confused and ignored. Frustrated he headed to Allura who only looked at him with pleading eyes telling him he was not welcome. Lance thinks about going to Shiro but as quickly the thought entered it exited as well. Lance wished he could just get a sign he was loved or wanted or even if they just tolerated him. All he seemed to receive lately was indifference and annoyance it made him feel worse than when he almost died in the blast saving Coran. Lance is shocked to feel a tear fall and quickly wipes it and looks around the room to see if anyone saw. Lance was almost relieved until he met with the eyes of the new Galra Emperor. His eyes widen clearly distressed but years of hiding his feelings he places his façade once again and struggles to smile sheepishly towards him.

Lotor looks at Lance slightly concerned but the moment Lance saw his attention being asked for again he made his exit of the hallway quickly. He walked briskly to the bridge where he saw Coran asleep while standing up and instantuosly he felt guilt. Here he was feeling bad for himself when Coran was working himself to the bone to keep the Castle up to par with all the battles they have had. He silently walks towards Coran and taps his shoulder softly to wake him. Coran wakes with a start rambling that he had not been asleep.

Lance chuckled softly before clearing his throat to speak clear, “Hey Coran go get some shut eye. I’ll man the bridge since I have free time now.”

Coran looks slightly shocked to see Lance during party, “Lance why are you here the party is not close to done, my boy,” Coran places a hand on his shoulder looking at him worriedly.

Lance gives his best effort to smile brightly, “Coran I’m no good at being diplomatic so it’s best be here than standing awkwardly at the party.” Lance turns away from Coran facing the stars letting a bitter smile grace his usually happy face, “Besides I rather be useful right now and help you since I know you’re very tired. Lance turns and smiles brightly at Coran while pushing him out of the room.

Coran looks slightly worriedly at Lance but obliges to the Lance’s urgencies and leaves the room feeling the full weight of his exhaustion. Lance finally relaxes once he knew that Coran was long gone to his room and heads to the control panel. Standing at the control panel he finally feels all the emotions he suppressed over the last few months come to a boil and falls to his knees as silent tears cascade down his face freely. Lance continues to cry not noticing the bridge door opens and a male entering. Said male shocked to see Lance on the floor worries that he is injured and walks quickly to his side. Once by his side he places a hand on him and Lance freaks and practically throws himself from the unknown male. He hastily wipes his tears and stands attempting to ignore that he was caught by someone. Once his vision clears he looks at the uninvited intruder and gasps in shock to find that of all people it was Lotor that caught at such a fragile state.

Lance clears his throat and attempts to lighten the mood that had become unbearably tense, “Lotor, buddy, you’re missing the party that was made for you. What is the star of the evening doing here with lil’ ol’ me,” Lance finger guns as he does often when nervous.

Lotor just stares at Lance taking in of the tragic beauty whose eyes seemed to glow brightly with unshed tears and secrets. Lotor found Lance to be most intriguing of the Paladins because he near seems to show his emotions like him but was different in his approach to keep to himself. Lotor wanted to unearth all of the tiny human’s secrets and be the one the Paladin would depend on. Lance was internally freaking out when he noticed the intense stare Lotor had on him, almost as in looking directly into his soul and not himself. Lance felt uncomfortable and cleared his throat slightly to clear the lump that had formed.

Lotor is freed from his trance before smiling softly and Looking Lance in the eye, “I am not one for such parties the formalities bore me,” Lotor pauses and looks out at the stars before steeling his nerves and continuing, “Besides why make small talk with strangers when I can be speaking to an extraordinary and lovely individual like yourself.”

Lance’s mouth nearly gapes and he flushes unsure if he had heard correctly. Lance regains is coherency and replies almost squeakily, “Perhaps you had to much of Hunk’s cactus juice,” Lance reasons with Lotor although it seemed more towards himself regardless he continued, “You best return you will be missed by the party’s attendees.”

“Nonsense, the attendees had too much of the juice I left to avoid the witnessing their wild behavior. So, I assure you I stand before you completely as I always am. I know what I said seemed out of place and out of character but I assure I meant them.” Lotor leans down worriedly when Lance began to cry again fearing he had overwhelmed him.

Lance could not believe that put of everyone the one who had come to comfort him was Lotor. Lotor, of all people, the man who is stupidly attritive and mysterious was here now flirting lamely and honestly with him, Lance the outcast. Lance feels Lotor wiping his tears away causing more to fall and feeling so overwhelmed by happiness he hugs the giant nuzzling into his expensive robes.

“Lance are you okay? Did I say something to offend you” Lotor asks worriedly but relaxes when he feels Lance shake his head no in response to his question.

“Then tell me why the tears? They do not suit to run down the face of someone as beautiful as you” Lotor slides down to sit on the floor to better see Lance’s tear stained face.

“The opposite you said what I had needed to hear a long time ago. The tears are of happiness,” Lance speaks softly which is completely unlike him but he takes a breath and continues, “I am also happy that you seem to return my feelings unless I am gravely mistaken?” Lance asks shyly.

Lotor beams which is completely uncommon for him and decides to respond to Lane’s question through action. Lotor swiftly brings his lips to the small but plump and soft lips of the cute Cuban boy whom had enamored him. The kiss between the two seemed to last ages although it was hardly that long. They moved closer to the windows to view the stars together cuddling and enjoys each other’s company drifting off to sleep soundly. They are found by Coran sometime after his power nap and was happy to see the genuine and serene smile on Lance’s face once again. He knew Lance would hate to be caught by the others so he awoke Lotor and gave him directions to Lance’s room. Lotor understood Coran’s motive and picked up Lance. He Carried Lance close to him and walked briskly and softly as to not disturb his new lover’s sleep. Upon arriving to the room, he undresses Lance from his armor and then lays with the unconscious boy soon falling asleep once again feeling excited for the future knowing that he can face anything with Lance by his side.

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minhoslut · 4 years

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♡ summary: Since long ago the seven kingdoms of Lentavia have worked together as one, sharing their resources and prospering because of it. Each kingdom has its own prince, each a beautiful man who rules fairly, caring for their people and distributing their resources amongst the kingdoms. The seven of them are much like brothers, having grown up together in their joint castles that sit in the middle of the island. They are free to rule as they please and do what they wish, as long as it is harmonious within the kingdoms. They must, however, follow one rule. At age 26 they must marry a person of their choosing in order to fully take the throne and become a king. The eldest prince, Seokjin, is 2 days from the date he must choose his betrothed and has yet to even suggest someone as an option.

♡ pairing: Kim Seokjin x fem!reader

♡ chapter: 1 | 2 | 3 | ? |

♡ series warnings: blood mention, injury mention, swearing, anxiety, death mention, depression

♡ series genre: fluff, smut, slight angst

♡ series rating: Mature

♡ word count: 2171

♡ posted on: AO3

♡ chapter two: castle in the woods

You sighed at the familiar sound of rocks hitting the side of your cottage. The village teenagers were always harassing you, it was extremely tiring. You were tired of repairing the damage they caused almost every day recently. This was why you had planned to keep your magic a secret but too many people knew who your mother had been, so you couldn’t even shake your identity when you’d moved into this kingdom. It was ridiculous that they hated you so much, you’d never done anything to warrant it. You barely even went into town not wanting to be harassed, you grew your own food and made your own clothes. You’d learned quickly that the less you were seen the less likely you were to sustain injury.

You never used your magic against other people, so when they attacked you, there was no way to defend yourself. At least with household damage, you could fix it once they left. The worst part was always when they crushed your protection circle. The poor little flowers were doing such a good job and they got ruined for absolutely no reason. You flinched when the sound of shattering glass filled the room. Not the window~ You groaned, putting your face into your hands. Windows are so annoying to fix and a nuisance to clean up too. Your ears perked at the sound of a man shouting for the teens to stop. “How odd, no one comes here if not to bother me… Is it a traveler? But then, why would they have left so quickly?” You said to yourself tilting your head. A knock at your door made you even more curious as you crept over to the door and opened it a crack. The Prince!

You were shocked at the handsome face you found when you opened your door. “Can I help you?” You asked hesitantly, scanning the mans face for any hint of malice but finding none. “Oh, well, I’d like to pay for the replacement of your windows. Those village kids really never learn…” The prince said, shaking his head. Your eyes widened and you shook your head, “Oh, no, no, it’s ok. This happens quite frequently, so I have plenty of, uh, spares.” You said brushing off his offer. The prince frowned at your confession, “I’m so sorry, that’s terrible. Is there anything I can do?” You shook your head again, “Ah, I wouldn’t want to bother you, really, I’m used to it.” You tried to sound convincing, but it didn’t seem to work as he offered again. “I am one of the princes, the eldest, Jin, there must be something I can arrange?”

You giggled at his late introduction. “I know who you are, but really, unless you can make me a house not in the villages or in the forest, you can’t help me.” the prince was silent for a moment before he said “Then how about you marry me?” You couldn’t stop your jaw from dropping at his question. “Marry you? How would that even help?” You asked, thoroughly confused. “Well, you would come live in the palace, so no more villagers harassing you, and I would be fulfilling my duty as the eldest prince.” The prince said, very matter of factly. “You don’t know anything about me, you don’t even know why I’m being harassed, why would you offer such an important thing?” What a strange person. You watched as the prince tried to come up with an answer.

“Well, then why are you being harassed?” He finally asked, locking his deep brown eyes with your grey ones. You took a deep breath, “I’m a witch.” You said softly. There was no point in lying, it only caused more issues in your experience. An obvious look of shock crossed the mans face before he regained composure, “Well, that’s no reason to damage your property, or these lovely flowers.” He said gesturing behind him, “If you haven’t hurt anyone then they shouldn’t be harassing you. You haven’t hurt anyone, have you?” You shook your head, surprised by his response.

“Then,” Jin clapped, “We have no problem.” You raised your eyebrow, “What about, I don’t know, the fact that we just met, you know nothing about me except that I’m a witch and I only know that you’re a prince?” You deadpanned. Was he being serious? “Well, we can get to know each other at the castle! I hate to ask this, it’s just, today is the last day for me to choose someone to marry and I’m so stressed and there’s no one I’ve wanted to ask, but you seem interesting and kind and it’s kind of like a win-win situation because you can benefit too, and I don’t even know why I’m saying all this and I’m rambling now sorry.” Jin said, looking away sheepishly.

You smiled gently, I’m crazy, I know it, I’ve finally lost it. “Ok, I’ll come to the castle. If I like it enough by the end of the day, and we aren’t sick of each other, I’ll marry you.” Jins face lit up like the sun rising in the morning. He grabbed your hand, “Thank you, really, thank you so much.” He was very handsome, and his smile was beautiful. You brushed off your simple blue dress with your free hand and stepped out of the cottage. “I suppose we should go now then.” Jin kept your hand in his as he led you through the forest, back towards the castle.

The castle was much bigger up close, you’d only ever seen it from far away. The gardens were gorgeous, your eyes were filled with awe. It was so nice to be surrounded by such different plants, ones you wouldn’t see anywhere but the palace. Jin smiled at your face full of wonder. “You must walk through here every day, it’s amazing!” You said as you turned to look at the prince. “Hm, not really, I used to play here a lot with my brothers when we were young though…” Jin trailed off, looking nostalgic with a soft smile on his lips.

“Jin~ Where are you~” A voice came floating through the garden. “I’m here Kook!” Jin answered. A young man with blonde hair came running over, “Jin where did you go? Did you- Oh, who is this?” He said, cutting his sentence off and staring at Jin with a questioning look. “Jungkook, this is, uh this is, I suppose I never asked your name…” Jin looked embarrassed, the tips of his ears turning bright red. “I’m Y/N, nice to meet you.” You said sending a smile in the direction of the blond. “So you found someone to marry then! Congrats bro~ She’s super pretty too, you’re lucky!” Jungkook said a bright smile on his face.

His compliment made you blush, you had never been called pretty before, except by your mom. “T-thank you, your, uh, highness?” You realized you hadn’t been referring to Jin as that either, internally smacking yourself, though he hadn’t seemed to mind. Jungkook made a face at your adressment. “If you're marrying Jin, you don’t have to call me that.” He said with a wave of his hand. “She only said she’d marry me if she likes it here.” Jin said going over and pulling Jungkook into a headlock. They were clearly very close, it was nice to know that they weren’t alone. Royalty had always seemed like a lonely life, and you knew very well that loneliness was a hard way to exist.

"Well Y/N, let's head into the castle now, you can meet the rest of my brothers at dinner, or if we run into them. Bye Jungkook~" Jin said coming back over to your side and giving Jungkook a purposeful look. The two of you resumed your tour and entered the castle itself. Seokjin showed you the ballroom, the great hall, the throne room, and the courtyard within the castle. It was so beautiful, each room more so than the one before it. You had never imagined a castle to be so grand, though you'd also never imagined yourself walking through it either.

It looked amazing from the outside, but you had never really thought about how the inside would look. It had never mattered before, you hadn't thought you'd ever see it, so no point imagining. You could laugh at your current situation really, how did an outcast, a witch, that gets harassed by the entirety of the town, end up walking alongside the eldest prince with the end goal of marriage. Completely ridiculous. Though the prince was much different then you might have thought, he was kind as he explained the different rooms, patient as you wandered about looking at things with eyes aglow.

“Dinner is ready in the great hall, your highness.” A servant came in just as you finished the tour in the main entryway. “Perfect, we will come right now.” Jin said with a smile. The two of you were the first to arrive at the table, Jin pulled your seat out for you and sat beside you. “Oh? Is this Y/N?” A man with light blue hair said coming in to sit across from Jin. “Namjoon? How do you know her name alrea- Jungkook.” Jin sighed and Namjoon chuckled. “Word travels very fast in the castles. It’s nice to meet you, welcome to our home, I’m Namjoon, fourth eldest.” He said, smiling kindly at you. “I’m Y/N, as you heard, it’s nice to meet you.” You returned his smile, feeling awkward.

“Hello~” A man with navy blue hair said as he came in with another man, this one with black hair. The navy haired man sat beside you and the other man beside him. “I’m Taehyung, the second youngest.” The man beside you said, “I’m Yoongi second eldest.” The black-haired man added. “Nice to meet you both, I’m Y/N.” It was nerve-wracking to be around so many powerful men, not to mention they were all gorgeous. Two more men came in and sat on the side Namjoon was on, one with silver hair and one with red. The silver-haired one sat beside Namjoon and the red-haired beside him. “Hello Y/N! I’m Jimin, It’s nice to meet you!” The silver-haired man spoke melodically and you gave him a smile in exchange. “I’m Hoseok, welcome to the palace.” The red-haired one added, “It’s good to meet you both, I’m Y/N as you all seem to know.”

Jungkook came in last taking a seat beside Hoseok, giving you a small wave as you’d already met. The servants brought in the food, and everyone dug in. “So Y/N tell us a bit about yourself, whatever you feel comfortable with?” Namjoon asked. You took a deep breath, might as well get it over with. “Well, I’m a witch. I live in a cottage in the forest alone and I mostly keep to myself.” You cringed internally at the silence that followed. “That's so cool! Can you do magic? Can you turn into animals?” Jungkook asked excitedly. You were stunned at his reaction, he was happy? “Well, yes I do magic and I can change into animals with certain potions…” You said softly feeling shy with the seven men staring at you.

“That’s amazing!” Taehyung said from beside you, “You must be popular then?” Jimin prompted expectantly. Your smile faltered, “Um, no, not at all. I’m hated by everyone in town actually…” You trailed off feeling embarrassed. “That’s how I came across her, some teens were throwing rocks at her cottage and windows.” Jin added with a frown. “That’s horrible, I’m so sorry, Y/N.” Yoongi said, and you could feel the sincerity in his voice. “That won’t happen here, I swear that to you.” Hoseok said, his tone serious. “Yes,” Namjoon stated, “You won’t deal with that again, should you decide to stay.”

You willed the tears that pricked at your eyes to go away. This kind of compassion was not what you were familiar with. You had expected them at best to just pretend you hadn’t told them. “T-thank you, you’re all much too kind.” The table was quiet for a moment before Jungkook began to talk about his day, much to your relief. The men exchanged casual conversation about the day they had had, laughing together. You smiled as you listened to them, focusing on eating your food.

After dinner, Jin excused him and yourself and you walked back to the courtyard together, “So, Y/N, what do you think? Will you accept this as your home and marry me?” Seokjin asked, his eyes searching yours for an idea of how you felt. You ran over the day in your mind, the kind words and happy moments you’d had. It was much more interesting than the usual kind of day you experienced. Remembering the kindness and positive reaction you’d received when you’d told them what you are, you smiled. You hadn’t felt welcomed like that ever in your life.

“Yes, I will.”

#bangtanhq #bts #bts x reader #kim seokjin x reader #kim seokjin #forget me not

0 notes

heauxkyu · 7 years

Note

97 sprace, please. ☺️

Thanks for asking! I promised myself I would make this one shorter than my first sprace prompt, but I have no self control oops. I was also gonna try a modern au but I love my period-typical newsies and no one can stop me from writing historically inaccurate gay shit ((Also their accents are written atrociously I’m so sorry)) Hope you like it :)

97. “You’re so cute when you pout like that.”

~~~~~~~~~~

“Guess what?”

An excited voice shouted right into Spot’s ear just as he was about to doze off, his feet propped up on a rotting wooden crate and his back leaning against a slanted metal rod, one of the hundreds upon hundreds providing support to the Brooklyn bridge.

Surrounded by mucky water, abandoned fishing nets, empty cargo bins, and scattered broken bottles, Spot’s throne was far less than impressive. However, it was still his place, his perch, the location where any newsie could most likely find him on a laid-back afternoon. Although, most of the Brooklyn newsies knew better than to interrupt the King when he was relaxing after selling, meaning the abrasive voice that woke Spot out of his peaceful daydream didn’t belong to one of his boys.

Tipping his hat away from his eyes, he glared up at Racetrack Higgins, rolling his eyes as he watched the Manhattan newsie bounce on the balls of his feet, holding his hands behind his back, waiting for Spot to respond to his initial question.

“The hell do you want?” Spot grumbled, settling back against his pole and crossing his arms over his chest, doing his best to appear unalarmed. Truth be told, Race had been the last person he expected to see. While Race had made an annoying habit of visiting Spot whenever he had the chance, it was usually at night after he was done selling for the day, when he knew Spot was alone and could let his guard down. Race would either challenge him to a quick game of cards or he would simply ramble on about the events of the day, seemingly happy about simply being able to talk with the other boy when he wasn’t so worried about his status. However, it was still early in the afternoon, and there was no way Race was done selling his papers; Spot knew he took breaks between to bet on the races constantly occurring at Sheepshead, meaning it took him twice as long to sell his papes on a busy day.

“You have to guess!” Race responded, the same excited shrill still accompanying his voice. Spot scowled.

“What if I don’t care?” He yawned, moving his hand up to tip his hat back over his eyes. “Go away.”

Race, completely used to Spot’s sarcasm and nonchalance, simply reached forward and tipped Spot’s hat back up so he could look at him again. Grinning, he still held one hand behind his back and tried again.

“Spot, c’mon! You’ll never guess what just happened to me!”

“Well, clearly you wasn’t just taught how to leave a guy alone.” Spot growled, sitting up and adjusting his hat on his head once more. “That’d be a damn miracle.” He attempted to crane his neck to see what Race was hiding, but Race turned further away, still maintaining his stupid, cocky grin.

“Christ,” the younger boy mumbled, pinching the bridge of his nose with his fingers. “How am I supposed to know what happened? Did ya find another dead frog?”

Race giggled as he thought back to the time he had indeed found a dead frog and thought it would be hilarious to put it in Spot’s discarded hat as they played cards one night. When Spot had put his hat back on and felt the frog carcass tumble down the back of his shirt, he had let out the highest pitch scream that Race had ever heard. To this day, he denies that the noise ever happened, but Race still wheezes with laughter every time the event is brought up.

“No, but you’s got a nasty attitude that makes me wish I had a dead frog to fling at ya.” Race said, side stepping Spot again as the other boy tried to peer behind his back another time.

“Damnit, Race. I know you ain’t even finished sellin’ your papes. Either get outta here or tell me what you got.” Spot snapped, losing patience by the second. He tolerated Race and his antics to a point, but now that his nap had been interrupted, he was like a small toddler, ready to break at any second.

Race pursed his lips, bouncing on his feet again, waiting a little longer just to watch Spot suffer before he blurted out “I WON!”

Spot barely had time to raise an eyebrow at the boy in front of him before a small pouch was hitting him in the face. He jumped back slightly before looking down at the bag that had now fallen in his lap. “You… won?” He asked, clearly lost.

“At Sheepshead, you moron!” Race cried, picking up the bag from Spot’s lap and waving it in his face. Spot could hear the money rolling around inside, and the words finally started clicking in his mind. Race, to his knowledge, had never won a single bet he placed at Sheepshead, for he was always the victim of bad tips and, frankly, shitty luck.

“No way.” Spot gasped, his eyes widening. “You’re kiddin’.”

“Look at it, Spot!” Race cried again, opening the bag and digging in to pull out the coins. “I’m rich!” He shoved the money in Spot’s face, near hysterical laughter coming from his mouth. “I’s just over at Sheepshead doin’ my sellin’, right? And the next race is happenin’ real soon and I just hadta go see it, but I got no idea who to bet on. So then,” He paused to take a giant breath before continuing, “So then, these two guys is passin’ me by and they whisperin’ real low about the horse they’s bettin’ on. I followed behind ‘em and they said Ol’ Sweets was the winner. She ain’t ever won before but I bet on her anyway. And she won today and I won! I won! Four whole dollars!”

He was practically dancing in front of Spot, clenching his fist around the money and spinning around like a fool. Spot sat stunned in front of him. For any newsie, four dollars was a lot of money to have sitting in their pockets, and Race was the last person he expected to win something like that. If he was being honest, he felt rather proud, barely able to keep a smile off of his face as Race celebrated in front of him. However, he was slightly confused as to why Race stopped in the middle of his day to tell him of all people.

“Why are you tellin’ me this?” He asked, reaching out to grab Race’s arms to steady him. Race’s smile faltered only slightly as he put the money back in the tiny bag and shrugged.

“Why not? I was excited. You’s my only friend over here.”

Spot tried to ignore the the way his heartbeat picked up at that statement.

“And,” Race continued, his smile returning, “I felt like I owed ya a bit. For, you know, always lettin’ me on your turf.”

Spot perked up at this. “Owed me?” He repeated dumbly, sitting back down on his crate, one knee up with his elbow resting on it. “What do you mean?”

“I mean…” Race said, digging back into the bag to pull out half of his winnings. “Here.” He held out his hand, the money shining in the sun, and looked at Spot pointedly. “Take it.”

Spot, for once in his life, was completely lost for words, staring at the hand in front of him. He made no move to accept the money. Instead, he looked up at Race and said “You bein’ serious right now?”

Race nodded earnestly, moving his hand closer to Spot. “Yeah. I figured since, you know, I come over here all the time. And you always talk to me… And you’s my friend.”

Spot had to try extremely hard to pretend that Race’s words weren’t making him feel a load of feelings that he had tried to repress a long time ago. Gulping, he took a shaky breath and stood up, reaching forward to close Race’s fingers around the money. “I can’t take this.” He said softly, keeping his hand closed around Race’s fist, just to take advantage of the contact.

Race blinked. “What?”

“I’m not takin’ your money.” Spot repeated, finally pushing Race’s fist away. “You won it.”

“Yeah, so?” Race sounded offended, his smile now gone, replaced with a look of confusion. “I won it, it’s my money, and I wanna give it to you.”

“No.” Spot said again, firmer this time. “You don’t need’ta give me anything. Lettin’ you in here is just good for business between me n’ Manhattan. You don’t— You don’t owe me.”

Admittedly, the amount Race was attempting to give him wasn’t huge, and Spot would likely blow through it in a heartbeat buying candy for some of his younger boys that could use something to cheer them up. However, it was the gesture that meant the most. Race spent half of his time over at Sheepshead trying to win and when he finally did, he brought it over to Spot. His friend.

Spot scoffed in his head. Race’s friend. Maybe he didn’t want to be Race’s friend. Maybe he wanted something he couldn’t have.

Race seemed lost for words as he looked down at the money in his hands. He snorted and shook his head, eventually dropping the coins back into the pouch and pocketing it. “Well, this was a big ol’ waste of time.” He mumbled, his crestfallen face making Spot’s heart wrench. An awkward silence passed between the two boys, and Spot was seriously considering taking the money that Race had worked so hard for, just to see him smile, but his pride overpowered his common sense.

“Um,” Race finally broke the silence with his disappointed tone, shoving his hands in his pockets and looking pointedly away from Spot. “I’ll uh, I guess I’ll see ya around.”

He paused for a moment, glancing back at Spot, evidently waiting for him to say something profound and amazing, preferably along the lines of “Don’t go, Race!” or “I’d love to take the money and buy you dinner, Race!” but he knew that would never come. When Spot said nothing and instead turned his eyes down in embarrassment, Race turned on his heel and trudged off, his bag of unsold papes swinging pathetically behind him.

…

The next day, Race seriously considered avoiding Brooklyn all together, his mind unable to focus on anything but the rejection he faced the day before. Frustration built up inside of him as he got ready to start the day. It’s not like he asked Spot to marry him or anything, so why did it feel like Spot had taken his feelings like, stuffed them in a tiny box, and crushed the box?

After successfully avoiding any questioning from Davey, who had become this annoying older brother-weird uncle-figure to most of the Manhattan newsies, Race decided he didn’t want to be stared at suspiciously for his fowl mood all day and began the trek across the bridge. If he ran into Spot, he would just ignore him. He could do that. He had SOME self control after all.

‘If Spot talks to me, just ignore him. If Spot talks to me, just ignore him’ Race repeated over and over again in his head as he got closer and closer to the end of the bridge, his mood mirroring the dark clouds already beginning to cover the clouds.

‘If Spot talks to me, just ignore him.’

‘If Spot talks to me, just ignore him.

‘If Spot talks to me, just—‘

“Race!”

“Huh? Oh, hi, Spot.”

Shit.

Race bit his lip and scolded himself for breaking the only rule he had come up with on the way over just because he was distracted. Spot was standing right in front of him, slightly off balance, chest heaving, and hat missing, clearly having run over to Race as soon as he had seen him on the bridge. Race felt a pang of satisfaction as he noticed Spot flushed and struggling to catch his breath. It was very unlike him to run after anyone, meaning Race, if anything, was at least slightly important to the younger boy.

“Race, I” Spot panted, straightening up and running a hand through his hair, “I didn’t think you were, uh, gonna come… here… um, today.” He stuttered like a nervous child, suddenly remembering that he had made no plan of what he was going to say to Race once he saw him.

Race raised an eyebrow at him, deciding it was probably best to break his ‘don’t speak to Spot’ rule. “And?” He asked, crossing his arms defensively over his chest.

Spot opened his mouth, but no words came out. Race rolled his eyes and pushed past him, planning to lose him in the crowd of people going about their days and get to his selling point as soon as possible.

“Race, wait!” Spot called after him, jogging slightly to keep the other boy in his sight.

“No.” Race called back. “I’m gonna go win more money and NOT give it to you.”

He knew the response was childish at best, but his feelings were hurt and he knew Spot probably didn’t care, but he was still going to make it known.

Spot finally caught up to Race after spitting a few vulgar words at a man who simply wouldn’t move, and caught him by the wrist. Race huffed and turned around, wrenching it out of the other boy’s grip.

“Leave me alone.”

“No,” Spot said, looking around at the people surrounding them on the streets in frustration. He definitely didn’t want an audience for this. Glancing around quickly, he spotted a store with no customers milling around the front, meaning the back would be even more desolate. Picking up Race’s wrist again, he yanked him over to behind the weathered brick building and pushed him up against the wall.

Race fought against him, albeit half-heartedly, letting himself be pressed against the wall, but refusing to wipe the scowl from his face. “Go away, Spot.” He spat, knowing he was taking a great risk denying Spot what he wanted, especially as Spot could have him beat to the ground in a matter of seconds.

“Just hold still for a second!” Spot snapped, pinning Race’s shoulders in place. “I’m tryin’ to apologize!”

“Oh, wow!” Race cried, sarcasm evident in his tone. “Spot Conlon wants to apologize to me? How lucky am I?”

Spot glared at him. “I wasn’t tryin’ to hurt your feelings.”

The statement was surprisingly honest and was enough to have Race’s mouth snap shut. He stared at Spot with a blank expression on his face, allowing the other to continue hesitantly.

“You just… offered me the money that you worked for and I ain’t no bum who needs your charity.” Spot continued, making sure to still maintain an ounce of his dignity within the apology. “Plus, you earned it. It’s yours. I wasn’t tryin’ to make you feel… I dunno, bad, or whatever.”

Race chewed on his tongue for a moment, taking in the very Spot-like apology. The younger boy’s hands were still gripping his shoulders, and he was much closer than Race was used to, but he was not going to let himself be distracted.

“You was a jerk.” He declared, his hands gripping the strap of his bag full of papes. “I wasn’t tryin’ to give you charity. I was tryin’…” He paused. What had he been trying to do? Win Spot’s affection? He sucked his bottom lip into his mouth and thought for a second before finishing with “I was tryin’ to make us even. You let me sell in Brooklyn at no price.”

“The reward is that I gets Manhattan on my side if we’s ever got a problem. It’s a business negotiation.” Spot responded coolly, still not moving any farther from Race. “You’s gettin’ all soft on me.”

“I ain’t gettin’ soft!” Race argued, frowning deeply. Spot only laughed. Race continued frowning as the other boy threw his head back. “It ain’t that funny.

“You IS gettin’ soft, Higgins, don’t deny it. Comin’ over here to give ol’ Spotty a gift yesterday and all.” Spot teased, finally dropping his hands from Race’s shoulders. His apology was turning into the perfect opportunity to poke fun at the other boy.

“Shut up!” Race whined. “I was tryin’ to be a good person, somethin’ you wouldn’t understand.”

Spot only laughed more, finally stopping to look at Race in a way that made his cheeks flush. The affection in Spot’s face was unmissable, and Race wasn’t prepared for the way his heartbeat seemed to amplify in his ears and his hands began to sweat. In order to save himself some embarrassment, he huffed and turned his head to the side, staring pointedly down toward the other end of the street. He expected the altercation to be done at that, but then Spot spoke again.

“You’re so cute when you pout like that.”

Race was pretty sure he was having a heart attack. His head whipped around and he stared at Spot incredulously. “Excuse me?”

Spot didn’t falter. “When you do that pout thing. It’s cute.”

Race thought his knees might give out. “I ain’t cute.”

“You are.” Spot argued. Race felt like his skin was on fire and he fought with all of his might to keep a smile from appearing on his face. He wondered how many times he could get Spot to admit that he thought he was cute before he passed out.

“I ain’t cute and you’s being a jerk.” He retorted, pushing himself off the wall only to be pushed back by Spot, who was now hovering over him.

“Says the one who tried to give me money.”

“I was tryin’ to make us even!” Race cried, attempting to ignore the way Spot’s hands were gripping his hips and his breath was hitting Race’s cheek. “I thought it was a nice thing to do.”

“It was nice, but…” Spot whispered, pressing Race further into the wall, if possible. The other boy raised his eyebrows, his heart beating so loud he thought Spot might just be able to hear it. He almost didn’t want Spot to finish his sentence, for fear that he might vomit and ruin the strange, yet amazing moment the two were sharing. However, Spot finished it anyway by saying “You could’ve paid me in a different way.”

Race felt as if he had been slapped in the face, his whole body heating up at Spot’s words and his heart basically throwing itself out of his ribcage and climbing up into his throat. He wanted to cry and scream at the same time; he was unable to believe that Spot was actually here, pinning him against a wall, suggesting that they do things Race had only ever dreamt about.

“You want me to pay you?” He repeated Spot’s words carefully, a mischievous grin appearing on his face. “But… how?”

He knew exactly how, but he wanted to hear Spot say it. He wanted the satisfaction of knowing that Spot thought about him in the way that Race did. He wanted to know that Spot spent countless hours analyzing their every interaction, that he daydreamed about Race, that he dealt with endless days of inner turmoil over having feelings for someone he thought he could never have.

Spot grinned back at him, his hands squeezing Race’s hips, pressing his own body ever closer so that they were aligned from chest to toe. He waited a painstakingly long time to answer Race, watching how the blush rose on his cheek’s, how his dark eyes sparkled, even when it was cloudy, and how he kept wetting his lips with his tongue and oh god his lips.

“Kiss me.”

Race wasted no time at all. He shot forward and closed the gap between them, melting into Spot’s touch as soon as he felt the warmth of his mouth. Spot responded eagerly, moving a hand from Race’s waist to behind his neck, tilting his head and deepening the kiss. Race’s hands moved from the strap of his bag to the front of Spot’s shirt, grabbing fistfuls of fabric to pull him closer and to steady himself so that he didn’t collapse onto the ground and dissolve into a puddle of emotion. They kissed each other as if they had something to prove, Spot biting at Race’s lower lip before running his tongue along it, making the boy pinned to the wall moan softly. Race’s hands were everywhere from Spot’s shirt, to his hair, to his back, desperate to show the other boy how much he wanted this.

When they finally broke apart, they took each other in, Race laughing at the spit visible on Spot’s chin. “Gross.” He giggled, making Spot roll his eyes and wipe his mouth with his sleeve. A very romantic gesture, in Race’s opinion.

“Shut up.” Spot mumbled, the hand still placed behind Race’s neck running up to card through his hair, knocking his hat off. “You should stay in Brooklyn.”

Race laughed. “Forever?”

“I meant tonight.” Spot answered seriously, pressing another quick kiss to Race’s lips. “Just for the night. Then we’ll be even”

Race smiled at him.

“I think I can make that work.”

~~~~~~~~~~

SEND ME PROMPTS

#mine #spraced out #sprace #sprace fic #newsies #newsies fanfiction #answered #spot conlon #racetrack higgins #tbh this is not my best work but i still hope y’all accept it #malwrites

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sage-nebula · 7 years

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I was just talking to Sunny (@kcgane) about Keitor, and I just went on an impromptu ramble about their dynamic (/what I want to see from their dynamic, what I feel we have seen and could see), and I’m going to go ahead and share it here, because honestly, this thought is too exciting to me to have it lost to tumblr’s IM system (which for whatever reason doesn’t have an archive feature) forever.

So without further ado:

BUT ACTUALLY???

Lotor puts on a front of being very self-assured and confident, and I mean, in a way he is. He has Plans™. He has so many plans. He was smirking when he left Zarkon's throne room because that whole thing was a play, he KNOWS how to play, he knows what he's doing.

BUT those plans fall APART . . . and he also spent pretty much his entire life in exile, scorned for being a half-blood, disowned by his own parents. His generals have betrayed him, his parents actively want him dead. He has nothing and no one at this point aside from his cool af comet ship.

So I think there IS probably a decent amount of self-loathing there. Being hit with so many failures at once is bound to deal devastating blows to one's self-confidence. The fact that he now has to turn to the coalition in an effort to get back on his feet can't be one that sits easy with him. And I mean, he dislocated his shoulders because he had already been hit with so much emotional pain that what was some physical added on top of it? He's going through a lot.

AND THEN THERE'S KEITH, where . . . I mean, I'm talking to YOU, do I even need to say it? Keith knows what he's capable of, he knows what he can do, but this is true only to an *extent* because he doubts himself, he has so many insecurities, he has so little self-worth. He sees himself as now irrelevant to Team Voltron, he does his best with the Marmorites but he still views himself as expendable. He knows he can fight, he knows he can fly, but even that's easily replaceable. The confidence he has in his own skills (knowledge of his own competency) doesn't exactly equate to self-worth. It doesn't.

BUT THEN . . . THESE TWO . . . WHEN THEY MEET . . . they have the opportunity to see that IN EACH OTHER. Not in a "oh you're also suffering" kind of way per se, but Keith already admires Lotor's intelligence and ability, like, yeah, Lotor outsmarted and kept kicking their asses at every turn, but Keith can APPRECIATE that. He can be frustrated and aggravated by it, but he recognizes when his enemy is skilled, this is something he appreciates, we've seen this in canon. Lotor might not think much of himself, but Keith KNOW Lotor is intelligent and skilled and he's honest, he will say so.

And likewise, Lotor is KNOWN for recognizing the ability in others, hell, he handpicked his generals before. Not only does he appreciate fellow half-bloods (the universe may be prejudiced against Keith, but Lotor would be the opposite), but he also appreciates, recognizes, and promotes based on merit and ability. He would see not only Keith's fighting ability and flying ability, but also his cleverness, his resilience, his determination. He would see in Keith what Keith doesn't see in himself, and again, he would point it out, Lotor believes in building up those who have the skill to prove themselves and hold their own.

They have little self-worth, but they would see the value in each other. These two, who loathe themselves, could celebrate and love each other and I am hERE FOR IT.

#keitor #voltron #prince lotor #keith kogane #meta #i mean can this even be called meta it's literally just ramble

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dachi-chan25 · 7 years

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Game of Thrones Season 7 Episode 5 Recap Pt. 1

I seriously need to vent about “Eastwatch so bear with me please.

WARNING: SPOILERS; not a D@€n€r¥$ fan; Jonsa shipper so yeah I’m biased af.

Before diving into the recap:

1.- This are only my opinions, humble analysis and random thoughts/musings about the episode, and I am in no form or way trying to convince people I know everything or that I’m absolutely right and whatever other reading is wrong, I actually Love that thing about fandom that everyone sees things in a different way, is fascinating

2.- I’m the literal embodiment of the Salt Throne, and I feel specially salty about this episode so if you are not comfortable with that stuff I highly recommend you not to read this. I will always stay in my lane and I am not closed off to debates as long as you extend the same politeness and respect of course.

3.- My analysis of certain ships/characters is based on what I think and feel as an audience, but in no form or way do I think people shouldn’t ship/like said ship/characters. Believe me on the fact I will always defend the right to love what you love, even my most hated NOTPS are valid and I will always support the shippers and multishippers even if we don’t interact.

————

1.- Back on the lake near HG, Bronn and Jaime are fine (I already knew they weren’t going to die but I am glad they don’t even have a scratch) and golden boy is pissed cuz Bronn wasn’t delicate enough during his brave rescue, and Bronn is like yeah but why did you do such a stupid ass thing she has a dragon Jamie a dragon!!!! but our Lannister boy didn’t even cared he was willing to die to get rid of D.

OK, but that was really what a hero would do??He doesn’t know D, and the good things she has done, and we know Jaime is more than flawed, he has done awfull things, and in his mind D is the biggest threat he has ever faced (I mean he is not wrong) and still found the courage to charge at her, he just watched his man die horrible painful deaths (mind you he got PTSD from his time with Aerys right then and there) and instead of fleeing like Bronn suggested he fought and was willing to die just so he could get rid of D… That really makes you think.

Anyway Bronn is like fuck you, you can’t die before you pay me dude! but you’re totally on your own if the Dragon Woman comes to KL xoxo.

I truly love Bronn.

2.- So yeah we’re strolling through the Field of Fire with Tyrion, he looks absolutely horrified (he should) while the Dothraki take swords and weapons form the dead (yikes, can we talk about the lack of humanising of the Dothraki? We only got to know them a lil’ back on s1 and s2 and still they look like terrible people with a ruthless violent culture and no real good redeeming qualities, I mean we don’t even get a lot of depth on any Mereenese, Yunkai or Astapori beyond the ohh wondrous mysha bullshit!! and then we have Dorne, you know the PoC of Westeros, storyline absolutely butchered and thrown to shit, and this actually stinks of racism) anyway we have like what 50? 100? Soldiers and I’m supposed to pat D in the back for not killing everyone??? You kidding me right? There were 10,000 Lannister-Tarly soldiers, she killed ¾ of the army, and yet she dares to say she didn’t came to murder them or orphan their children with the same condecending tone she used for the Meerenese, Astapori and Yunkaii people???? Miss me that bullshit, she had an adavantage from 10-1 there was no FUCKING way the Lannister-Tarlys were going to win, besides if she has the noble pure righteous heart she loves to parrot about she would have given them the chance to yield before she went Dracarys on their asses (you know like Jon Snow did in the BoB telling Ramsey they should have a 1 on 1 so other people wouldn’t die) she should have taken the food, but she didn’t so it would be real nice if she stopped with all those pretty but meaningless speeches that only make her look like a hypocrite (but I totally understand why she doesn’t “if I look back I’m lost” which basically means I’m too lazy and proud to learn from my mistakes and accept my flaws) anyway it all boils down to “bend the knee or die even tho I just said I didn’t came to kill you after I had already killed most of you” and I kid you not, just 5-10 people bent immediately, only when Drogon screeches menacingly at them is that most drop to their knees absolutely terrified (*instert the “this is not freedom, this is fear” meme from Captain America) what kind of choice is this???? No choice at all, is either accept me as your newest overlord or die in the flames (yikes, I never wanted her on the IT but now more than ever).

Other thing that piqued my interest is that she uses her famous line about destroying the wheel, basically this is a medieval equivalent of communism, she says there will be no more powerfull high lords and helpless small folk, okay good, totally support this, but D you seriously need to ask yourself how are you going to manage the transition and if your replacement of this feudalistic system is all the power lies in me, my Dragons and my small council if/when I’m in the mood to actually listen then no fuck you. Communism is something we know, something we’ve seen before (Cuba, Russia, North Korea) and it has failed, even if theoretically it seems the most humanitarian and fair, in practice it has always caused an awful whiplash of tyranny, poverty and opression (history exists guys, and even if Westeros is a fantasy setting, GRRM based a lot of the stuff in ASOIAF in actual historical events) our society was not ready in any form or way for that kind of government and neither is the Westerosi society, but D is not a politician, she is a Queen and therefore she doesn’t care about future problems and consequences ‘til they hit her face and then she whines and complains about it.

Fortunately the Tarlys are having none of that overlord (overlady???) bullshit and will not kneel, is no secret I dislike Randyll Tarly cuz he is ruthless with his soldiers (flogging them for real??) and the way he treated Sam (fuck him) but he has a lot of strenght and dignity, he refuses to kneel because he already chose a side and he would stand by it even if it meant death, he is a hardass motherfucker if anything, Tyrion is like dude you seriously are going to fight for my evil sister? Point is that Cersei and D really give not much of an option do they Tyrion? As a matter of fact this scene is a good parallel to Cersei’s 7x01 one in the IT trash talking D and convincing (tho she is much more diplomatic) the Reach Lords to fight with her, then we see Randyll talk with Jaime and he says he only answered the call cuz he knew what Cersei does with her enemies. Here we have D’s pretty speech about how Cersei is evil and she is clearly the better option while intimidating them with her Dragon and Dothraki.But is the same! even if Cersei is more subtle in her approach. Anywhoo Randyll is like you say whatever you want about Queen C, but she is not a foreign invader with a army of infamous pillagers and rapers and dragons who burnt all the food of the Reach (k I added that last bit cuz I’m salty that no one seems to give a fuck about the food) and I know some people have been saying he sounded racist (he does not) that is not the case at all,every country requests being a citizen (among other things) to occupy a position in the government, because you have to know the country, lived there, care at least a little about it’s people and know them and let them know you, D meets none of this requirements, and yes it’s not her fault, it’s her dad’s and Robert’s that she had to live in exile, but still she has no right to proclaim herself as the better option when she has done nothing to show it.

So Randyll is ready to die, Tyrion wants to save him (I guess to convince himself that he made the right decision in supporting D) and suggests he is sent to the Wall, but Radyll is like nah man she has no authority to make me do shit cuz she ain’t my queen. Dickon (my brave and beautiful, and dumb son) steps out and says he won’t bend the knee also, Randyll and Tyrion collectively lose their shits (bitch me too the fuck) because they don’t want him to die and let house Tarly die with him (this rings to close to Tyrion cuz his evil sis killed the Tyrells and Aerys killed a Rickard and Brandon Stark, how is this any different from what D is doing now?) but D is ruthless and says she already gave them an option, Tyrion is still trying to be like hey how about you don’t start cutting heads off??? and D is like LMAO who said I was beheading them? Tyrion is left speechless (why were you expecting dude?? You watched her burn the army and the food, and she almost burnt your brother and your bff) but really is heartbreaking because he wanted so hard to see the mericful woman he admired and believed in and only sees a tyrant.

So of course I cried, because I played myself living in denial and happily shipping Dicksa (we can’t have nice things, but my ship is not going down, you can’t kill what is already dead!!!!) and beyond that it was heartbreaking seeing Randyll holding his son’s arm and them dying on ther feet. And I was reminded of one of the heroes of the mexican revolution, Emiliano Zapata who once said “I’d rather die on my feet, than live on my knees” what the Tarlys did was a common tragic hero trope.

After the Tarlys get roasted, everyone is on their knees and I would love to slap the satisfaction out of D’s face, because this is awful.

———

I rambled far too much so this needs a part 2

#Game of Thrones #7x05 #racap pt 1 #anti daenerys #just to be safe #dachi rambles

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invokingbees · 4 years

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Top Games of the Decade

IT ME FAVOURITE GAMES OF THE LAST DECADE!!!!! OH SHIT!!!!!

Entirely predictable but here you go:

2010 - Demon's Souls

Fuck you! Came out in PAL territories, aka, me, in 2010, so it counts. I played the Souls series ass backwards, and played Demon's nearly last, but I completely and utterly fell in love with it. I've babbled like a fool about it before, but it boils down to its powerful atmosphere of horror and strange hostility, as well as its gameplay which holds up so well, it's still fluid and satisfying, the soundtrack is unique, its mechanics are baffling and weird and I just really, really honestly love it to bits. And you can get back online again with the fan server! Or emulate it if you have a powerbeast of a PC, but no online.

2011 - Dark Souls

I mean, I guess, I've played it four or five times now. It's actually my least favourite of the Souls games for gameplay, it's a step back from Demon's in terms of general movement and combat, but it can't be denied that its lore is so powerful. It sets up a fascinating mythological world of pseudo-materialist fantasy, it's full of implication and possibilities, full of holes and shit that makes no sense and we love it, it's perfect. It's enthralling. I might not enjoy actually playing it but I could talk about it for hours.

2012 - Dishonored

I was never one for stealth games, because I'm shit at them. But for some reason I checked this out and I'm REALLY glad I did. I found the gameplay really fun, the powers are super fun and the levels are great to explore. Also, time stop. But what I came out of the game with was a fascinating setting with a weird Victorian/Dieselpunk setting that goes HARD cosmic horror, but really subtly. Dishonored's world is incredibly well structured, the story of Corvo's revenge against the assassin who killed his girlfriend THE EMPRESS and kidnapped his daughter THE HEIR TO THE THRONE takes precedence, but throughout it all is a looming sense of a cold, hostile universe of weird alien horror. There's the ever-present implication that killing off the whales will make something horrible happen. There's the occult nature of the nameless Outsider and the people who worship it and try to contact it. There's a supercontinent across a monstrous ocean filled with who knows what horrible shit. The setting is so full of flavour and I love exploring it every playthrough.

2013 - Dragon's Dogma: Dark Arisen & MGR: Revengeance

This poor, poor fucking game. Gutted in production, whittled down, concepts stripped away, areas ripped out. The game isn't even half as big as it was in early production. And yet it is STILL amazing. A grand fantasy adventure with a rich, classic, mythological feel to it, with a fairly unique metaphysical component behind it all. Dragon's Dogma is the story of you, a no-name fucko whose comfy little village gets attacked by the best dragon in all of media, you're the only madman with the sheer balls to attack it, get slapped away, and then get your heart stolen and turned into a semi-immortal Arisen, who is goaded to go fight that fucking dragon. But there is a LOT going on behind the scenes, both in the Duchy of Gransys and the very universe. Dragon's Dogma is like the best loveletter to medieval European fantasy I've ever seen, its monsters have a gnarly medieval manuscript look to them, ripped right out of Classical mythology, folklore and traditional fantasy. There's court intrigue, dark secrets, much talk of destiny and epic quests. Everything about Dragon's Dogma is just pulsating with ADVENTURE. You get up to three other companions, your Pawns, inter-dimensional pseudo-humans whom only the Arisen can command. That's where it starts getting weird, the game has a whole theme about the power of will, cosmic cycles and shit. And that's not even mentioning the SICK FUCKING COMBAT. Directed by Hideaki Itsuno, he of Devil May Cry fame, the game has robust and really powerfully satisfying combat, even a DMC Stinger. You can climb on monsters to attack weak points, glide on harpies, your pawns mimic your strategies like re-lighting extinguished lanterns - there's so many little details you can discover for yourself in exploration and combat. Of course, the game also has the most visually impressive and satisfying magic of any videogame. You haven't felt powerful until you've played a Dragon's Dogma Sorcerer, calling down meteors, summoning spires of ice, point blank sniping drakes out of the fucking AIR, or piggy-backing on your Sorcrer pawn's in-progress spell to suddenly unleash a massive torrent of DAMAGE. Gransys is also a beautiful place to explore, and the main hub, Gran Soren, feels like a proper huge town, as well. The game has quirks, mainly in its slightly weird levelling system, as well as the delightful pawn chatter that reminds you at every turn how wolves hunt, or what goblins are weak to. But then there's Dark Arisen, a tragic tale set in a pocket dimension or possible 'outside' realm, pitting you against the rage of a former Arisen who spurned the cycle, a massive hard as shit megadungeon full of really great stuff. I just cannot recommend it enough, and it's on just about literally every fucking platform.

I have never played a Metal Gear game before. I'm a shitter and they're kind of hard to track down where I am. Just how it is. I'm also massively intimidated by them. But then I watched Super Best Friends (RIP) play this fucking nonsense and I knew I had to feel it for myself. What is there to say? It's fun, it's goofy, it's played totally straight and quite serious at times, it's an absolute meme engine, it's so full of character and flavour, it is undistilled HYPE jammed into a disc by divine spirits and doled out to humanity. I'm not a character action man, never been good at DMC games, and I will never be good at them, or this, but by GOD do I have fun whenever I play it. Zandatsu is just the shit, forever, every song is GREAT, the game so expertly drives and controls moments of exciement and tension, it's like a big blockbuster movie that actually cares and has something complex at the core of it. Yeah there's like political and cultural concepts and musings and that's great, but I'm an idiot who wants to cut things with my sword. Everything and everyone is charismatic, and most importantly, totally earnest. It never really winks at you or says 'hurr we're sooo cuh-razy amirite', it just does its thing and nothing ever feels out of place. We can be talking about destabilizing impoverished nations with corporation-led private armies one moment and chuckling at MEMES DNA OF THE SOUL the next and it feels fucking normal. I'm rambling but I just really love Revengeance and I have no idea how to handle it. What an entry point into such a convoluted series.

2014 - Dark Souls II

Ah yes, the black sheep of the family, the only one not directed (but kinda overseen) by Miyazaki, with a notoriously troubled production whose director was fired halfway through and replaced, then the game kind of scrambled together. But, like Dragon's Dogma, it kind of worked out well. DaS2 is recognizably Dark Souls. But what I like most about it is, like a lot games I love, the story, the world, the feeling. Dark Souls 1 and 3 are grand, they're about cycles and fates and illusions, but DaS2 has a really personal angle. You came to Drangleic to free yourself of the curse. You're not a Chosen Undead or anything, you're someone that by their own hand, went out to cure themselves of the undead curse. You got there, and found the kingdom in shambles, the king gone, something horrible having happened. So you find out that he probably has the answer, and you go track him down, only slightly unwittingly following in his own footsteps, doing what he did. Before you know it, you're fit to become the next monarch. And when you finally do find the king, hollowed and mindless, well you best pick up the pieces and do this monarch thing. And you do it...maybe. You take the throne, the most powerful being in the world. It's up to you what happens next. Or maybe you don't, and leave to find another way out of the curse. I love the feel of Drangleic, it feels wartorn, I love the details put into making you feel like you're traversing an old battlefield with the hollowed out soldiers still following their last orders, their last memories. The Giants, as characters, are fascinating, however little we get of them. Revealed to not be monsters, but a people King Vendrick attacked and stole something from, who struck back in violent retalation for a horrible wrongdoing. Dark Souls 2 is just far enough removed from Dark Souls 1 that it could be its own things that brings over a few core ideas. I would have liked to see that happen in Dark Souls 3, but alas. My love of Dark Souls 2 is almost all lore, world, flavour. Its gameplay is actually fine, I think, a lot of people think its bad but I think DaS1 combat is pretty bad. The game has issues, like the doubling down on difficulty but not really getting it well, but for all the problems it has, it does a ton of things very well. It introduced some great ideas we never saw again, like bonfire ascetics, powerstancing, a changed up NG+, full left-hand movesets, and so on.

2015 - Bloodborne

You don't even know, you can't even comprehend, I doubt you could even imagine my love for this thing. It was my first 'Souls' game (although I think it's different enough it shouldn't be lumped under that banner) and it is, to this day, and forever shall be, my favourite. It is, in my opinion, THE best piece of modern Lovecraftian media out there. Period. It handles everything just so right, despite being an action game, it never betrays what makes Lovecraftian, and wider cosmic horror work. I could go on a very, very long time about all of this and one day I might. Bloodborne is just basically perfect, tonally, thematically, it's so rich and weird and intricate and it is, all of it, balanced with masterful precision. Gameplay-wise, it's just so f u c k i n g o o d. Like, this here, this is the best it's ever been. DaS1 feels like glacial ass compared to this, awkward, stuttering, lacking in energy. DaS2 is fine, in fact I think it's the best speed for the Souls game, but man are like all of the movesets just really bizarre and unsatsifying. DaS3 is just turbomode seizure-souls with zero weight, and don't get me started on the bossfights. But Bloodborne? It is both fast and heavy, the ferocity of attacks has weight, everything hits with satisfaction, every weapon is tailor made to be unique and feel unique. The game is a labour of love made with tech more than capable of realizing it, and it shows. There's nary a thing in the game that doesn't feel polished, that doesn't feel out of place. We know from datamining Bloodborne got switched around and whittled down a lot, but these were clearly necessary changes by a director honing a concept into perfection. And just as a weird cosmic horror gothic action game, it's so strange in just general existence it deserves to stand out and be praised. And although shitters and fools will bandie around the word edgy, they're tasteless jackasses with no ounce of aesthetic nuance.

2016 - Dark Souls III and Far Cry: Primal

CAVEMAN SHIT IS COOL AND WE REALLY DON'T GET ENOUGH OF IT. Never played a Far Cry game apart from this one, never plan to! I just like me unga bungas! What can I say, the land of Oros is gorgeous, the light, the trees, the mountains, the marshes, the animal sounds and deep rumble of caves, the proto Indo-European language crafted especially for the game, it's a place I just like walking around. It's supremely comfy and dangerous and exciting. Gameplay is a complete template sure, regardless of having never touched another Far Cry game I can feel that, but it sure as shit works.

Dark Souls 3 is a very complex game, because while it's a total smorgasbord of top tier dark fantasy aesthetics, none of it really comes together very well, it's a game oozing with creativity, but also feels like a haphazard mishmash. It's a game Miyazaki didn't really want to make, but had to, after the reception of DaS2. But for all that it's just Bloodborne Souls, it's still a fantastic game full of memorable enemies, areas, bosses, a game with a really unique general tone of exhaustion in every little detail, of a world falling apart at the seams. And you don't save it, either. The good end of Dark Souls 3 is the end of fire, but it doesn't really accomplish anything other than letting nature take its long diverted course. The DLCs don't fix that either, everything ends up in the Dreg Heap, all of 'human enterprise' for naught, but there's a smidgen of hope in the new painted world whose pigment is Dark. As you can tell I like DaS3 far more for its atmosphere and flavour rather than its story (which actually makes no sense whatsoever and is the worst in the series due to being literally incomprehensible and unfinished) or gameplay, which is perfectly fine and fun at many points, but the bossfights mostly boil down to flailing around like a fucking lunatic with 15 hit combos. There's concepts like the Deep which are so fundamentally important to major players but vague and with little to no elaboration. I literally couldn't tell you what Pontiff Sulyvahn was about, and he's supposed to be the main villain? DaS3 suffered its internal change arounds in a way that it came out weaker, with many other concepts dashed aside. But that doesn't stop it all from being fascinating and being a nicely definitive, if massively obscure, ending to a landmark series. When your game ends at the literal end of all time, you're done. Good night.

2017 - 2019 fucking nothing I guess

Yeah not even joking here, gaming more or less ended in 2016 for me. Yes I've played games since then but nothing's left an impact for me the ways the others have, and I played all those past their prime. All but two of my favourites were Japanese games, too.

Honourable Mentions:

The Elder Scrolls Skyrim

Gotta mention it. Dumped literal years into this fucking thing. And that was on Xbox 360 with no mods! But it proved far too shallow in the end, and even with the Special Edition that allowed mods on consoles, it's just not good enough. Frankly, Dark Souls has ruined videogames for me and I pray Bethesda pull up the slack with TES6 and reintroduce the flavour that makes TES what it is, and gives us more than serviceable combat. But as for Skyrim, it's fucking boring and shallow, story is rail-roady as fuck, combat is just terrible aside from some magick, although Shouts will be forever iconic, and will be one the more fun and interesting videogame powers for me.

Death Stranding

I got to this a little late, and had I played it earlier and completed it, it would likely be 2019's best game for me. As I'm still barely into it, I can't say much more than its mechanics are fantastically fresh, no game has made just walking around so enthralling and the world is compelling and bizarre. Every BT encounter is tense and boy are they fuckin spooky. I'm dying to know where it'll go next.

God of War

I'm a fan of the old GoW games because they're really fun and super over the top. GoW2 is one of my favourite games, it's incredibly well made, great environments and combat and bosses. It's a big ol' blockbuster. Dad of Boy is a very different beast. Scaled way, way down, and given the Sony Cinematic treatment, though not necessarily to its detriment. The game has problems. I mean, yeah, Kratos snapping Baldr's neck and saying 'violence is bad' is kind of fucking stupid, but I guess I get what they were going for. Gameplay-wise, pretty good. The axe is satisfying, though the Blades of Chaos are more so, and actual hits do feel nice and heavy, though I bemoan the lack of blood. What's most suprising is how it felt like a God of War game just from a different angle, the exploration and puzzles were familiar in feel. In fact I have a lot of praise for the game in its characters and gameplay, even its story. But I'll probably never play it again. Once completed I felt absolutely no want to go back again, despite the NG+ introduction. I hope they follow it up.

Star Wars: Jedi: Fallen Order

I was very unsure about this but something took a hold of me and one trade in of Skyrim later, I was home playing Star Wars. And oh look, it's the best piece of Star Wars media since the buyout! Mandalorian aside, but there's very little that feels 'Star Wars' about that other than the paintjob. Anyway. Fallen Order takes place somewhere between episodes 3 and 4 in a newly risen Empire before Luke and all that shit happens. Ex-Padawan Cal Kestis is hiding out on some junkyard scrapper world and has to run when he saves a buddy with the Force. He teams up with an ex-Jedi, a space goblin, the best droid buddy ever and eventually a goth alien to find a Jedi Holocron containing info on young Force-sensitives throughout the galaxy before the Empire gets it. It has a wonderful sense of adventure to it, and that really holds it together. I actually think it feels like a remaster of an older gen game, to be honest, especially the platforming which just feels far too videogamey, but that doesn't stop it from being fun. The combat is almost ripped right out of Sekiro but I like this waaaaay more than Sekiro. Effortlessly deflecting blaster shots back at Stormtroopers and taking out whole groups is the good shit. Fighting melee guys is challening but never oppresively so, and bossfights against Inquisitors are fairly gruelling but rewarding. If you're a shitter with no reaction times like me, you can switch that up almost on the fly so you don't end up feeling like every encounter is a chore. Best of all is the lightsaber customization, a necessity for any Jedi-centric Star Wars game and now you can even remove Cere Junda's ligthsaber switch with the latest update! But you know what? Unless they release DLC, like God of War, I don't know if I'll ever play it again.

Ziggurat

Combining wizards, Quake and rogue-likes, Ziggurat has you playing a wizard shooting your way through a trial to be accepted into an order of magicians. That's it. You get your wand and can pick up a rapid fire staff weapon, mid-range spell weapon and slow but powerful alchemy weapon. There's a bunch of different ones for each type, some better or more satisfying than others. There's talismans that can grant special abilities but with long recharge times. Most importantly there's the level up system where you must choose one or two random perks each time. This is where the variety and replay value comes in, making the most of perks you get and potentially building absolute beasts of characters over five levels. Games are short but sweet. You unlock different characters too, based on things achieved in-game. Each character starts with a number of perks and some have unique handicaps like low starting health or levelling up slower. Honestly, not much to say other than I really enjoy it, it's super fun to pick up for half an hour and play.

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itissadbutitsmy-life · 7 years

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you know what who cares about clarity? have an incoherent ramble about pb, how she treats lemonhope, a couple parts about lemongrab, and proof that phlannel boxingday is the best Dad™ in the entirety of adventure time below the cut

I would die for phlannel boxingday he's so good for lh he is the Best father in the entire series and I almost cRied about it

there's a lot of shitty dads in advtime and a lot of dads that could do better but aren't like malevolent, and there's also phlannel, the best damn guy with the kindest fucking heart in the entire show, and he kills giant sentient birds for a living

Listen h

Wait am I about to cry rant about the one off character again

Yeah here goes he was so good he. I mean. I mean. He's so patient and understanding and gentle and lh nEEDS that h he was fucking broken up in his home and then pb spirited him away and put the fate of his entire family on his shoulders and treated him like he was Very Smart And The Chosen One But Would You Just Fucking TRY. and phlannel grabs him away and goes look. you're a good kid. and maybe you can save your family. but you can't beat yourself up over it, you can't put all that weight on your shoulders. you are able to go save them if you want but you are one of many champions in this world, and someone else will do it if you can't. and until then I'm going to keep you fed and clothed and be a person you can come to with anything, because I have no ulterior motives. I really literally don't.

and every t ime he talks to him he talks low and gentle, he points things out like how he IS a smart kid he REALLY is he just learns differently, he doesn't force him to do anything he doesn't want to do like every other adult figure in his life has up to this point. he knows he has nightmares so obviously lh feels safe enough w him to talk to him about things like that, or he just pays attention and like. knows he keeps waking up screaming and instead of going "ha that's fine," he goes "kids shouldn't be waking up screaming so I'm going to keep an eye on it," he picks up on lh's concerns and gently tells him it isn't his fault when he drops things,

Like ok here's my thing. I know first impression pb is rly nice, yadda yadda I wrote a whole thing (didn’t post it tho lmao) abt how the Ugly Candy People seem to be the worse off ones and that might be her doing if it isn't just coincidence, and I don't feel like getting into that. but . here's my thing abt the lemonhope two parter and pb

Like first off I'm still pissed she put him in a Special School like. how transparent can you be. she's playing favorites and she's raising him for a specific purpose of being a champion. but it's not like, extracurricular champion school, bc she's clearly trying to also teach finn geometry. or maybe she's just.

Idk but it seems really fucjibg phony. like. just set him up in a school where he can socialize and learn in an environment structured for teaching and socializing. I know lemon ppl don't Get Along With Others but like. singling him out is just. mmmmm don't like that

Anyways so that's one thing but like. she seems to be such! a nice and understanding lady right? she's soft and sweet and she's dangerous when she needs to be, but like. I know we all know she's kind of a dick and she monitors everyone in her kingdom closely to the point of creepiness, etc etc we know. but like. u know what really gets me in the lh two parter is just. how ......inconsiderate? she is maybe?

like . yeah she wants to fix what went wrong (lg’s cannibalism and like tyranny etc). she can't or won't do it herself ('can't' meaning she's legally not allowed to, but what the fuck is lg gonna do to her? she can destroy him with a fucking flick of her wrist and literally the only person gaining anything from him locking up his kingdom on every legal level possible is himself if that, and we all know his earldom is quite literally overpopulated.So she has nothing but principle stopping her from barging in and demanding he stop, to protect all the other citizens he's hurting. He'll do anything she asks. like maybe once it got bad he wouldn't, maybe he started to realize she never cared about him and she never would, but honestly even if he did start to realize that, if she fucking walked in the door and said she needs to talk he'd be putty in her fingers. he'd listen and do everything she asks of him, and none of the lemon people are gonna fuvkinh stop her. they either know to fear her from lg or stories or experience, or they just know she's their boss's boss, so to speak, and would deliver her right to lg or just let her pass. Right? unless lg has them on orders to like. kill on sight or something. but those poor kids aren't any match for pb and pb's no idiot, she'd take backup or she'd straight up murder them. there's literally no reason for her to not go. she's gonna respect politics now? NOW? She's a fucjibg monolith and she does whatever the fuck she wants no matter what kingdom she's walking into, and now that her son is hurting every single person he's ever loved, NOW she decides she Can't Just Interfere? Fuck you) but uh since she can't/won't do it herself she needs lh to. ok. fine. But like. over and over she repeatedly treats him poorly, like...... like yeah ok she isn't Being Mean but. idk. you take a scared little kid out of his abusive family, then you repeatedly make him see what his siblings are going through now that he's gone, and tell him over and over that it's up to him to make them stop being hurt?

The lemon people are all just babies ? like ok they're not BABIES they're their own ppl but . but they're. so young of COURSE they believe what pb said and what lg2 said, that lh needs to come back for them; HE got away, so so can they, and he's gonna be the one to do it. They're poetic and tragic like the fire kingdom, but grittier and less pretty and performative. of course they'd latch onto the only hero they were given.

but like. to lh it was probably more like. this lady came and took me away from my family so they'd stop hurting me, but she left all my siblings behind, and now she's telling me I have to be the one to save them? lmao no you do it yourself. you did it once you can do it again.

so uh

so lh's adult interaction so far seems to have been like.

wait was he one of the ones they made originally or is he a second gen lemon person/ someone lg2 made with lollipops like in that one fanfic

assuming he was in the FIRST BATCH because I'm mean I guess, his adult interaction has been two people who adore me with all their hearts but can't figure out how to feed me-> probably some affection in here somewhere bc he had to get that harp from someplace -> guy who fucking electrocutes us and other guy who's too scared to stop him -> oh shit what the fuck -> lady who got me out of that situation but won't save my siblings and keeps pretending I'm someone I'm not

u know what, I think that's her whole problem

she made lg to be her heir, that's good, but he didn't act how she expected and she couldn't figure out how to support him, so she sent him away (much as I like to say she did it bc like. neddy was antisocial and scared of ppl too and he was ok if he was kept alone so maybe that was all lg wanted too,,,,, like there was still no reason to throw him at the very fucking edge of ooo aight. get him a house in the grasslands or something.). she tried to help him, realized she was making it worse and actually hurting him, so she tried to help again and it worked, bc all lg wanted was to be loved and not to be told over and over (symbolically) that he was REALLY unwanted, but still begrudgingly needed bc he's the only heir to the throne. so getting a friend who wouldn't hate him for who he was was all he wanted. so she did good and kinda let it be for a while.

but he also really wanted his mothers love, and he tried to act like her so she'd appreciate him or even notice him. so he makes kids for her, he realizes this makes him and his brother happy (HAPPY), and can't stop doing it because he's alone with his brother and their newborn children and no one's telling them to stop. she fixes it, she lets it be.

He's still unwanted. she still hates him. she hates ppl who don't act how she wants them to. she HATES the duke of nuts whose only crime is eating her pudding (possible she hates him bc he's just So Good And Kind, too, and it's fishy), she clearly doesn't treat all her citizens equally (do you see how trashed some of the backstreets are? I mean maybe people are just smashing them faster than she can fix them, but like. I don't know. I don't feel good about it.), she won't fucking talk to the literal heir to her throne (i don’t thiiink he’s been replaced yet?) except when he makes a mess and needs someone to help him fix it. and then she does it as minimally as possible. she sends fnj to fix it or smth. she just. Really wants nothing to do with her failures I guess. maybe that's it. he woke up screaming and needing things other candy people don't need, and she called him her own personal failing. maybe she feels like she let him down by not making him so he could be happy in her kingdom. maybe she blames herself but instead of working with him and supporting him, she gives him anything he asks for and otherwise avoids contact with him like the plague.

Anyways so what she wanted was a cute, competent candy person to take her throne right? and she goes to his kingdom and she wanders around and like. no one here is her kind of normal. they're all ugly and deformed and squawky and everything's yellow. and to lg and lg everything is BEAUTIFUL, those are their beloved babies that they risked their lives to have, but she doesn't know that, she just knows that MAN those lgs are weird, and when I try to help them, they get mad and lash out at me.

by her first failed experiment she means the first one that made her feel like she was capable of making mistakes that ruin lives. like even if we call that one comic canon, with that Sweet Pink Goop she made before lg, that goop didn’t seem sentient, let alone capable of feeling the consequences of being alive and different from the other candy people

she looks around and she tries to figure out what she doesn't understand. right? in too old. like maybe getting away from them and looking around their house will give her insight into why her heir won't just act like her, won't just be normal and quiet and do what she expects people to do, why she can't figure out how to help him without making him angry (and scared and hurt), figure out what it is HE expects, because he's a person too.

And she finds someone who ISN'T deformed or ugly or weird, she finds someone who honestly wouldn't be out of place (looks wise) in her candy kingdom. and he's bemoaning his unfair treatment and he's dressed in rags and he's alone and he's young and he's talented.

And he's what she meant to make in the first place. Someone soft and cute, but with whatever traits she'd been looking for in an heir, presumably. someone who can rule a kingdom decently in her place, even better than her, i have my own hcs about that lmao. he’s someone who doesn't flinch when she touches his shoulder, who doesn't have such a cold stare, or such a shrill and uninviting voice. he's small and he's young and he's soft and he's talented and he's being mistreated

and like. she saw other kids getting publicly electrocuted and she saw lg hitting his brother and she saw the fucking evidence of really violent mistreatment, and she went ":/" until she saw someone who she could sympathize with.

and lh isn't who she thinks he is. He's a lemon person, he's Lemongrab's son (or... grandson or like. nephew. I don't know. young relative or like juvenile member of his species.) he's not a candy person, but he looks like one. he's symmetrical and visually healthy. so she gets maternal and concerned, because now it doesn't look like lg's hurting people she doesn't want to even look at let alone worry about (asshole). now to her it looks like he's neglecting and harming a young kid. And they're all young kids, they're all pretty new, they're all people and they're all being hurt. but she can't bring herself to care what he does so long as he’s hurting people she doesn’t care about, that's his business; when she gets involved he threatens to kill her or he upsets her people or whatever. but when she sees someone who looks like a person, who looks like a person of hers, who looks like a kid and who looks like a healthy kid being abused (chubby and healthy but tattered and shock collared and locked in a bathroom, as opposed to like. another lemon person walking around in nice clothes and a shock collar) she gets him out

and she plays on his feelings, she goes, you're the kid I always expected to raise. you're the kid I was supposed to raise to become a shining champion of my kingdom. I made lg, and he turned out wrong and I dropped him as far off the face of the earth as I could, and now I have Finn to be my champion. but you, you need to be great, still. you need to be my shining star. You need to go back and do what lg2 told you to do in his Fuvking Dying Breaths, because like, suddenly me and him are on the same page I guess.

I don't super blame lg2 for putting all that on lh's shoulders tbh. He's not much older than the kids, really, and like I said, they're all poetic and tragic. and lg2 was getting eaten too so like can you really blame him for anything at that pt. he doesn't know pb really, all his interactions with her were probably Not Bad but lg hates her and would also do anything for her so lg2 probably hates her a little by association. You're the one who hurt my brother and hurt him and hurt him and hurt him, why should I trust you to come get my children away from a dangerous situation? how do I even know if you consider this a dangerous situation? glob for all he knows she electrocutes her people too when they don't please her. for all he knows this is normal.

actually no I give him more credit than that. he might not know if pb considers it normal or not but the fact that lg fucking destroys his spirit when just months ago he was telling him he was the best thing in his entire life, yeah, he knows hurting your kids isn't normal, he knows hurting your life partner isn't normal, he knows maybe how lg came to this conclusion, but he won't tolerate it if he can help it

Anyways I love him?

so in conclusion pb treats lh like he's a candy person when he's NOT, and phlannel boxingday is the absolute purest most wholesome character to ever walk into that fucjibg TV series and he's the only one who treats lh the way he needs to be treated - like a person, like a smart person, like a person who's been abused and been put on a pedestal, like a person with his own needs and experiences that are different from maybe what you'd expect or wish. That's my conclusion. It's 11 fucking pm I need my dam slEEP

real quick summary bc I think I see where I was trying to go with this long ramble: pb's inconsiderate in that she treats him like a gifted candy person, not a gifted lemon person, let alone just a scared little kid who's been really neglected and abused. she at least seems to just kinda ignore the whole thing where he gets defensive and... grabby? idk bc he grew up in a house where he was hungry and ignored and hurt

idk

you give a kid who was raised in a house where he's always hungry and competing with his siblings for food two cupcakes do you really think he's going to share them

especially when it's very clear that you have many cupcakes

do you really think so

also just. if we go w saying a LOT of lg's quirks come from him parroting how pb treated him, idk she just. doesn't do a great job of not treating lh the same way. sure she apologizes when she calls him unacceptable but still I get the feeling she treats him more like lg did than she'd like to think.

#o #long post #abuse mention #because no shit of course there is i'm talking about lemonhope #hhhhhhhhhhhgh #adventure time #<-- for reference #if any of this doesn't make sense like.... you've been warned. if u ask me to elaborate you'll get another 3000 word essay so

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