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#also too overwhelmed at the first time im seeing a genuine appreciation and care into writing smth about what its like to be undead and its
shibuiking · 2 months
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toffeelights · 2 months
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falling into sonic again..
no i grew up watching those epic sprite animations and sonic final fantasies, sonic paradox even. The games I played were heroes and a few more like unleashed and mega collection and i adored black knights transformation sequence i would play it in the car repeatedly ( i never owned a wii). I watched all the sonic gameplay I could. My favourite characters being sonic and shadow. I, however grew up and believed sonic was not "famous" and was niche, jealous of the only sonic merch being the boys underwear in the superstore :(,
i didnt like boom or even lost world. it wasn't "sonic" to me, so i fell out, come forces and im burned, never touching this franchise again in my mid teens. I looked at how it was doing, would watch dubs and enjoy animations but eh that was it for me.
then.. comes 2023 and the thing that drags me back into this franchise, the thing that fucking pulls me in and keeps me buried... is those same two fucking hedgehogs but this time... their fucking ship. I suppose i can blame the art that took me here in the first place but holy shit. if you told me when i was 5 years old that i would come to adore sonadow and that would be the sole reason for my staying to the sonic franchise and all i would draw would be fucking sonadow, i would think you were fucking stupid and then go on word and make sonic comics of him running and pissing on eggman. no its the fucking fact, that now its come to a point where the dynamic of sonic and shadow genuinely have shifted my entire brain chemistry, they are everything, romantic subtext or not, they have literally shaped my interest for the past half year.
the fucking SYMBOLISM sega hints around them??!! them being stars, fated, destined to meet, mirror images, understanding eachother the most yet causing the most frustration. Sonic, is the one character that can get so, so personal to shadow, challenge him in a way and intrigue him in the most bizzarest of ways he never understands yet finds equal annoyance as much as admiration, sonic is a shift to his core. Shadow also does care quite a bit, just as much as he gets irritated at his presence, i find it funny how in sonic 06, the two characters saving sonic are amy and Fucking SHADOW the hedgehog. (albeit you dont see this alot erm due to segas insistence of making characters.. boring? but anyways)
their TRUST.. in eachother, the sonic x shadow generations descriptions do it so well (esp in jp).
in sa2 when they.. worked together for the first time in space and.. he called him the ultimate life form.. and sonic and shadow.. just in that moment.. were together as one. and oh man..
I could talk about prime but uh my favourite interactions in there are mostly when one of the other was uncouncious or in a state of unawareness (youd be suprised how much this happened). like sonic holding shadow and saving him, he seems to get really, REALLY emotional when it comes to shadow than anybody else.. for some reason... and shadow' reaction when sonic almost died. OWee that was done so well. the way.. he held him.. tight.. when sonic was dying.. oh my gosh. bride style. oahy.. im not too fond on talking about prime since in terms of the "sonic and shadow" dynamic it sort of slaps you in the face but hey I appreciate some sonadow anytime, if that was their actual only canon dyamic i dont think I'd care for it as much but its more of an add on to one of the most insane PASSIONATE.. crazy mutually charged dynamics ive seen in my life... like why are they like that.. can they STOP.. those two.. my brain will explode if we actually like actually like ACTUALLY see them togteher and if its anything like "them" with their subtetly and bizzare unique tensions, i think i will lose my sanity and just not function anymore. good fucking bye if i see a mention towards emerl or the ending of sa2 i will lose my absolute shit and you random person seeing this will see me go through it. my sketchbook would probably be overwhelmed by the amount of incoherent sonadow mess dear lord why..
ignore this i have an exam tomorrow and ended up going on a crazy rant about tbese two hedgehogs that have carried me through senior year, shout out to sonadow.. gotta be the only thing dragging me towards a degree.
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rainbowvolt · 9 months
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I tried this once already but out of nowhere I got attacked by the overwhelming notion that my antics are pointless and that the world around me is crumbling and so I deleted the entire message and took some time to journal out my feelings in the classic rambling poetry style that I have perfected over the years. It didn't make me feel better nor did it provide any fresh prospective but I'm feeling better today so I came to the conclusion that if nothing matters then I'm going to go back to inviting just a little bit of chaos into the everyday lives of people I have never met just because at least im having fun that way. That being said, what the fuck is up gamer? I put on some sublime to write this one to bit now amazon music is playing beck (loser) but I actually really like that song so I'll allow it. Anyway I was on hinge the other day, because just like you I am chronically single, and unlike you I do care because being alone with my thoughts for too long drives me insane and to do shit like this for fun. So I'm swiping and I'm complimenting I mean just imagine me turning on the God damn charm, and I match with this one girl who I think is attractive and we're chatting it up and suddenly bam, no reason at all, I lose all interest. I just felt like it was pointless to even keep talking to her my heart just wasn't in it so I did, I stopped. I probably still could hit her up if I wanted but the truth is it's just a lot of work, relationships that is, and I don't think I have the time to dedicate someone that I want to be able to dedicate. It's weird. Life. Love. Happiness. I try to remind myself that happiness, at least the way that we see in happily ever after movies and books, doesn't really exist. The best you I can ever hope for is to be content. And I'm not sure if that's true or if that's pure unfiltered copium that I'm doling out to myself on a strict rationing schedule so I can make it through the throes of years long depressive episodes. I've considered therapy but whats a therapist going to tell me? Oh you're unhappy for literally no reason, just take these pills? I've done that ya know, the pills didn't make me happy they just made me numb to the world around me and incapable of emotions. Plus my job would kick me out onto the streets if I sought out help, I already got a waiver for it the one time and if I get back on them I'm afraid it'll be game over for my career. So I guess I'm kinda screwing the pooch here. It's always like that, coin tosses and horse races I guess. I just want to break free. I don't know if that'll solve it all, but I want the option to at least seek it out. I used to believe, genuinely, without an ounce of fucking irony that my depressive thoughts and feelings, and my borderline schizophrenic tendencies were genuine fucking shortcuts to creativity. I would sit there and really channel them into my poetry, but you know what? While some of that shit is undoubtedly the best I ever wrote, it wasn't because mental illness is some sort of magical potion, it's not because hurt and pain breeds greatness, it's because I was just being truthful I think, as raw and true as I could possibly be. And I've read some of it to people ya know, like my mom and a few friends, and they just say it's so good and I guess I appreciate their support but it's not good, it's bad ya know, i was trying to share a piece of me that i rarely let anyone see and I guess people just saw it as a piece without the deep emotional relationship that it has to my psyche, maybe I gotta specify like hey this is real shit. But ya know I've also been trying to breed a mental positivity, I try to tell myself good job and "hell yeah dude" for anything that could be considered an accomplishment. I wouldn't say it's the most effective but maybe it's doing a little something. This whole self awareness thing is kinda new to me, obviously, like I seriously lived the first 8 years of my life without a single thought, I remember like watching TV or having a conversation and it was just static upstairs.
Which is kinda funny actually cause now all I fucking do is think. Ugh. To be a frog. A mindless bug eating happy little frog. Those guys have got it made. Love frogs. A ray of sunshine in an otherwise dark and disappointing world. That and when people say bazinga. That shit is hilarious. Also, you have to say bazinga, that's the whole point of this. We've established a raport and now I'm cashing in pal, you gotta say bazinga, you owe me. And if you don't I'm reporting you to PepsiCo. They will bottle and carbonate your ass. You'll be sold worldwide. I wouldn't risk it just fucking say bazinga. I'm dialing them right now, doot doot doot look I've only got a few numbers left last chance bud
I, an autistic person who is currently wearing a flash t shirt, have been asked to say.. that word. Irony aside.. no. I'm not falling for your silly tricks, your insightful-incel Seinfeld style stand up routine, and so.. I turn it back on you. You have to say 'wubba lubba dub dub'. I'm exchanging all my favours, my coupons are going straight in to this uncomfortably shaped vending machine and my goodness something better come out. It's time to make good on your reputation, time to come forth and fulfil your destiny, to do what must be done; it's time to whip out a test tube or two to help Frankenstein some confidence into that ugly little lump of brain mass and say the damn words. Say. The damn. Words. Wubba lubba dub dub.
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onlyjaeyun · 2 months
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Hello my love 🫶🏻
I feel bad bc I actually wanted to try and comment on each new chap but I am SO stressed out bc of my aducation/training since I'm in the last year and other things as well.
But I do wanna ask one question just so I know in the future, do you mind if people talk to you about like their day or how they are feeling and not only about the smaus¿¿
This is gonna sound so lame but I genuinely wanna like... talk to you about random stuff as well, if that makes sense? 🤕
But I'd never want to unintentionally annoy you or end up trauma dumping or something when I do tell you about my day, etc. so I thought I'd just ask you beforehand!
Also, best of luck with your exam tomorrow!!!
I read about how much you studied, so I just wanna say: I'm so proud of you, my love!!! 💞
Please take the time you need to relax properly after the last two weeks and take good care of yourself please, I love you 🫶🏻
- 🐍
hello my sweetest angel, first of all how mf cute are you :( I love and appreciate you SO much for literally everything and every ounce of love you've just sent my way!!! pls don't ever feel bad for not sending me anything, I deffo know exactly what you mean when you say life's just too mf busy rn so pls just take care of yourself!!:(☀❁♥☆
honestly I LOVe talking to you guys so much which is probably why im so sad and stressed that I haven't replied to some of you yet bc you guys tell me about your lives and I read it but then it get s buried in my inbox bc of how slow I've been with responding :(( pls pls pls send me asks talking about your life and basically whatever comes to your mind!!! you guys are lit my friends and I love listening to what you've got to tell and I promise im gonna step up my ask game again starting Monday!!!!
thank you so much for asking before you do, I really appreciate it! the only thing id ask of you to do is pls tell me if you wanna trauma dump or just rant bc sometimes im not in the mental head space and then seeing that in my inbox makes me feel a little overwhelmed but besides that youre good to go! I love and appreciate every single message you guys send my way and honestly cant wait to talk to you guys more regularly again!!!☀❁♥☆
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cursingcrona · 4 months
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THE INTERNAL FIGHT I HAD WITH MYSELF OVER THOSE OPTIONS IS SO CONCERNING 😭😭 /sillywilly
i had to pick a neutral option because i feared like, its so stupid, but i had this thing say like "ohh wings are like so important to our relationship with apollon lets choose that" but then like "ok but if we get close enough to asmodeus for nicknames & symbols or whatever then we'll feel bad so" does that make sense????? im sorry lol
i decided to go with🦉because owls are my newest special interest at the moment, i hope thats ok!! (& speaking of nicknames, THANK YOUUU for wanting to give me a proper way of addressing, i love nicknames so much, ugh)
but, i don't wanna overwhelm you or anything with my questions, so i'll for 1 make this the last one for the day, and 2, do you have boundaries do you have that i should keep in mind?
and, you said anything can be devotional, how i can decide whats big and whats not.. thats so freeing but so worrying lol. like we know, i cant practice openly, so i try to do "discreet" things. for apollon, i paint for him, devote a plush and give offerings of matching jewelry, ect. i find it super easy to do devotional things! but, with the way i've seen people paint infernals in general online, it scares me to think i'll be like "my king!! (insert nickname or smth), i made you this!" or "i did this in honor of you!" and him going "... ok??"
i actually used to work with dionysus! (i plan to continue when i move out, but,) unfortunately i did have to distance myself and focus on a single deity, because i suck at multi-tasking my worship, and i have a serious fear of spending "too much" time with a deity, or, "too little." i don't want any of my deities to feel "unloved" or something because i feel shy or something around them at first.
i don't wanna seem weird, or cringey. especially with how sometimes i'll have to just randomly put up my pendulum or something in the middle of a conversation because my mom walked in or something.
i've seen a lot of people say "oh lucifer hates people with trauma" or something, and i know asmodeus isnt lucifer, but it's a little scary to think i'll end up ugly-crying in front of him one day and he's just gonna disappear. i really hate the thought of being abandoned, especially by my deities, so i get so skeptical of them at some point. like, apollon was reassuring me like 5 times a day or something that he wasn't tricking me, hating me, going to just pack his bags and dip out randomly, ect. and it scares me to think asmodeus is going to see my trauma, and, idk, laugh? i know it ultimately comes up to how our relationship goes, but, i genuinely feel safe with king, he doesn't scare me, per say. i just, don't know.
.. sorry if i got a little too heavy or something there! but, thank you so much for being really attentive to my long asks. it means a lot! i really appreciate the help <3
-🦉
Hi Nonnie!! I'll cover the non-religious here, then under the cut I'll dive into the ask!
I really like the Owl you chose! I wanted to keep your options narrow cause decisions scare me ^^"
I always, on all of my accounts, try to keep answers as long as I can; sometimes it's hard!
It means alot you'd even consider my boundaries!!
Honestly, I don't really care what's in my inbox! Vents, asks, questions, comments, corrections, concerns! I love it all!! If someone wanted to DM me I'd be ok there too! My only really trigger religion wise is cults, though I won't be getting into that ^^"
It's a very valid concern to worry about spending "too much" or "too little" time with your deities. I worry about that all the time with my five about to be six! I think you made the right choice going for something neutral!
I also understand, the gut wrenching fear of a deity abandoning you. It's not necessarily abandoning you. Many deities come with lessons, and once they've taught you their lessons, they'll leave.. It's sad, and hurts. When Lucifer and Lilith left me, it took everything in my power to not bawl. It hurt, but they had taught me what I needed to know, and knew I would be ok without them by my side.
Deities may be made out as if they don't want anything to do with your life outside of worship, but that's how you build a more personal relationship! Ugly crying in front of your deities isn't anything to apologize for, it's human. Naturally and truly human. You don't have to apologize for being human.
Deity work is alot, but i truly believe you'll make it through without being abandoned.
You can decide what's "big" and "little" based off anything! Expense, size, how it looks, etc!
All of these things can make something a big or little offering or devotion. But even if something dedicated to a deity isn't indicative of how worthy it is of a deity!
I think that's about all i have for this ask, very sorry it's so short!! Blessed Be 🦉 Nonnie
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opalesense · 3 years
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um um hiii! im like literally in l o v e with ur writing, especially the diluc and kaeya stories (im such a simp omg) and was wondering if you could do some more diluc x reader x kaeya nsfw—
ofc you can ignore this but ty if you consider it!! stay hydrated and safe ily <3
over the counter
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diluc x f!reader x kaeya (NSFW)
6.5k words • ~40 min. read
summary: after a tense night at the tavern, kaeya accidentally forgets his belongings and comes back to see you and diluc having an intimate moment – or maybe it wasn’t an accident...
warnings: slight degradation, a lot of jealousy!!  drama!!
notes: reader is in a relationship with diluc beforehand just to switch things up a little from my last fic! also this fic favors diluc a lot more so diluc simps come get your juice ;D thanks for waiting anon ily too <3 i’m so sorry this took so long T_T
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SPENDING WEEKEND NIGHTS AT THE TAVERN was not uncommon for you. In fact, whether you were in the mood to drink or not, one of the main reasons you frequently visited the bar was to keep Diluc company, who greatly appreciated the effort you put into making sure he didn’t feel alone while he worked. Evenings with the two of you were often spent idly chatting while he served drinks, which surely kept his spirits up throughout the longer and busier nights. Customers usually commented about how Diluc always seemed to have a grin on his face when you were around, unlike some other nights where his deadpan expression often intimidated the people of Mondstadt and subsequently intimidated the customers themselves.
 That didn’t stop business from booming, of course. As long as the alcohol was good and quickly served, customers couldn’t care less about how intimidating Diluc could be. Neither would they care about how he would sneak some free drinks to your seat across the bar if you asked for it, or how he would shyly rest his hand on top of yours if the night was slow and no one was paying attention.
 In the end, on weekend nights when you were sitting in your favorite seat at the bar that was conveniently never taken no matter how busy the night was (or maybe not so convenient, since Diluc always made sure to secretly reserve it when the weekend rolled around), people knew never to bother the two of you. After all, on nights when Diluc was happy, he gave spectacular service to bargoers, who decidedly took advantage of this hospitality and thus visited Angels Share more often knowing the atmosphere was better if you were there.
 But of course, as soon as a certain blue haired customer walked into the establishment to take his long awaited night off of the week, Diluc couldn’t help but shake his head at you and sarcastically remark, “Well, here comes trouble...”
 “What, are you not happy to see me, brother?” After placing his belongings down, Kaeya took his seat next to you and shot you a friendly grin to briefly acknowledge your presence. “I’ve been coming here after work almost every night for so long – have you finally gotten tired of me already?”
 Diluc rolled his eyes and began making a Death After Noon for his brother, already knowing the specific bittersweet flavor he likes without Kaeya needing to ask. “Come to think of it, it’s about time I take off that family discount of yours, I’ve been too nice to you these past months.”
 Kaeya crossed his arms as he leaned forward on the counter with a scoff. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
 “It means I need financial compensation for the headache that you induce whenever you’re in the same vicinity as me,” Diluc joked as he finished making the drink then set it in front of Kaeya, who took the glass with a pout and turned to face you.
 “You hear this guy? Financial compensation... as if he needs it, being the richest jerk in all of Mondstadt to date.”
 “Watch your tone, idiot,” Diluc snapped back as he turned to serve another awaiting customer.
 There was no doubt that the two seemed to get along quite well as of late.  At first it was almost as if they were both trying to impress you by showing you that they could be nice to each other as per your request, but as time passed, competition turned into a slow realization of having genuine concern for each other, and the brothers have been on the road to reconciliation ever since.  Even when Diluc ended up being the one to completely sweep you off your feet and steal your heart, Kaeya never showed any opposition and even encouraged your relationship.  “Despite everything, you truly deserve her, ‘Luc,” you overheard him reassure Diluc months ago after admitting defeat in their competition.
 There was no doubt that you loved Diluc more than anything.  He provided you with everything you could ever ask for, from emotional support and material things to overwhelming satisfaction in the bedroom.  But at the back of your mind, especially on slightly tipsy nights such as this one, lies a certain lingering thought about that certain blue haired brother.  Was it so bad to fantasize about being pressed between the two?  Was it so bad to imagine the feeling of being fondled and manhandled by both of them at the same time?  Was it so bad to be at least curious about being shared between the two?
 You took a sip of your free drink as you stared blankly at the dents on the wooden counter.
 Maybe it is bad, you thought.
 After all, if Diluc mentioned that he wanted a threesome with someone else, you wouldn’t exactly be ecstatic about it.
 That’s why you would never mention these fantasies to either of them, despite trusting them both with all of your secrets after being close with them for so long.  You were scared of how Diluc would react to your curiosity.  You were scared he would get the wrong impression and that your relationship would come tumbling down as a consequence of your little fantasy.
 Maybe it is bad.
 Your thoughts were interrupted by Kaeya snapping his fingers in front of your face.  His head was tilted to the side as if he were trying to meet your downturned gaze.  “Hey.  Did I lose you?  What’s going on in that pretty little head of yours?”
 “I was just lost in thought,” you ignored the subtle compliment and averted your eyes from the counter to look at Kaeya’s face, the shadows of the dimly lit tavern casting on him at the perfect angle to show off his features.  You had to admit he was handsome - hell, all of Mondstadt surely thought so too.  You glanced around nervously looking for Diluc to see a glimpse of his fiery hair heading up the stairs to the second floor, presumably to serve a table.  He was understaffed today, you remember him saying.
 “What were we talking about again?” you asked Kaeya, a little dazed and confused, overwhelmed by the reality of the moment.  The clinking of glasses throughout the tavern, the bard playing the lyre in the corner, and the large group of rowdy men at a nearby table flooded your senses, leaving you a bit dizzy with no help at all from the alcohol.  He simply laughed, gazing down as he swirled his own drink in his glass then met your eyes once more.
 “I was asking how you and Diluc have been,” his sharp stare contrasted with his soft grin as the currently sober man turned his stool to completely face you.  There was intention in his eyes, but you couldn’t exactly pinpoint what those intentions were.  “I know he doesn’t like to catch up with small talk so I don’t like to bother asking him about what’s new.”
 With the heel of your boot you decided to turn your stool to face him as well.  Your knees were less than an inch away from touching his, which made you internally flustered given the fantasy you were just thinking about.  You tried your best to keep your eyes on his face, ignoring his exposed skin just under his neck.  He tilted his head back and took a sip of his drink then continued.  “Besides, I enjoy talking to you more than him anyway.”
 You could see right through him in this moment.  Or at least, you thought you could.  Maybe you were overthinking it, but you swore you could see his sapphire eyes slowly trail from your eyes down your body all the way to your grazing knees then dart back up again.
 Maybe it was bad.  Maybe it was the lighting.
 “We’ve been doing good,” you nodded, studying his face more.  “He’s been a lot happier recently since the two of you have been getting along more.  Don’t tell him I told you that, though,” you leaned in slightly with a wink.
 Kaeya let out a low chuckle at that and looked down at his glass again, taking a moment to form his next words.  With a nod, he let out a sigh of relief.  “That’s great.  You’ve been looking a lot happier too, I can tell.”
 “Oh?  How exactly can you tell?  We haven’t seen each other in a while,” you crossed your legs, feeling defensive, which accidentally brushed his in the process.  You quietly apologized and he slightly lifted his hand up to excuse you.
 “Oh, it’s nothing too crazy.  It’s just the glow in your face and the pep in your step when I see you on the streets while I’m out patrolling.  Seems like Diluc’s got one happy girl,” he tilted his head back for another sip, and for a moment, you saw his genial smile drop as he set his glass back down on the counter.  But as quickly as he let go of his façade , he quickly masked his intentions again with a chuckle.
 He seemed a little jealous, you thought.  But before you could fully form a thought around that idea, Diluc came back with a tray in hand, empty glasses and mugs balancing on top of his palm.  He carefully placed each of them into the sink and got to work on washing then drying them.
 “How have you been, Kaeya?” he said with his back turned towards you both, “You weren’t flirting with my [Y/N] while I was gone, were you?”
 “How could I do such a thing?” Kaeya huffed, seemingly offended.  “Put some more faith in me, brother.”
 Diluc turned around with a glass in hand, drying it with a rag and initially focusing his attention on Kaeya.  You watched as the two stared at each other across the bar for a few moments, the air suddenly getting thicker as they both emanated a strange seriousness, almost as if they were arguing telepathically.  Diluc’s intense stare burned into Kaeya’s cold expression, his arms tensing up so much that you thought he was going to break the glass in his hands.  It was a little scary to witness how quickly the mood could change in only a few minutes, and feeling a little uncomfortable, you decided to stand up and make your way to the second floor balcony for some fresh air, away from the loud atmosphere of the main room and even further away from whatever random feud the brothers sparked up tonight.
 The crisp air was meditative.  It was soothing to stand on the balcony, leaning over the rail and staring into the night sky, letting your mind wander.  Your days were often bustling with work and interacting with people so it was very rare to have a moment like this to yourself.  At first, you figured it would be best to go back downstairs – after all, it had been a week since you’ve talked to Kaeya and it would be nice to catch up with your friend.  But you weren’t sure why the mood was suddenly so tense, especially since nothing had really happened and as much as you knew how Diluc was protective over you, you felt like he was overreacting.
 As you took slow sips of your drink, savoring the taste and gazing upon the night life of Mondstadt below, seconds turned into minutes, then minutes turned into an hours, and soon the moon had settled into the midnight sky and the tavern was nearing its closing time.  You hadn’t realized that so much time had passed until Kaeya, who was usually the last customer to leave the tavern, whistled towards you from below as he was walking home, waving to get your attention then finally turning away and bidding farewell.
 “Darling,” you heard a familiar voice behind you as you were waving back to Kaeya, “Did I do something to upset you?”
 You turned to see a clearly apologetic Diluc standing in the balcony doorway, his arms crossed and hair messily thrown up into a ponytail.  “Why didn’t you come back inside?  We were waiting for you,” he quietly asked as he slowly approached you.
 He placed his hands on your waist and pressed his forehead against yours while rubbing small circles into your sides with his thumbs.  You pressed a soft kiss to his lips which he gladly returned with several more gentle kisses across your face, humming slowly and patiently waiting for your response.
 “You didn’t do anything wrong, Diluc.  I really just needed some fresh air.  I’ve felt a little overwhelmed all night and didn’t notice how much time passed,” you muttered.
 You were telling half the truth.
 You didn’t want to admit that you thought Diluc was being a little overdramatic, and you certainly didn’t want to tell him that you were overwhelmed with the thought of being touched by him and his brother at the same time.  Some things are better left unsaid.
 Maybe that was bad.  Maybe white lies were okay, only for now.
 He pressed one last kiss to your forehead before nodding as he processed your words.  “Let’s get you warmed up back inside, you must have been freezing out here.”
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 “I didn’t think this is what you meant by getting warmed up,” you softly giggled in between passionate kisses as his bare, warm hands traveled up your top to eventually pull the entire damned thing off.  He tossed it off to the side mindlessly before unbuttoning his own uniform top and letting it drape next to yours over the bar stool it landed on.
 “I’ve had a long night,” he trailed the kisses down to your neck, gently biting enough to only leave subtle marks and murmuring against your skin.  He lifted you up onto the counter to get better leverage over you, slowly spreading your legs apart then continuing the kisses down your collarbone.  “And you look so beautiful tonight, I can’t help myself.”
 “Just make it quick, okay?” you nervously looked at the window behind him which allowed the moonlight to illuminate the already darkened bar but also allowed anyone who felt like peering in to clearly see the two of you getting touchy in the tavern.  You let him press up against you regardless, feeling his bulge grind against your clothed hips desperately.  “What if someone sees?” you whispered, teasing him with the idea of getting interrupted and caught, which you knew annoyed him to the core.
 “Good,” he paused for a moment to look up at you, his hungry eyes burning into your memory.  “Let them see that you’re clearly mine.”
 Your heart throbbed at this sudden possessiveness and with a naughty smirk, you decided to give up the innocent act.  With a few swift movements, the rest of your clothes were ripped off until you were half naked, the only remaining bit of modesty you had being the underwear that clinged to your skin until Diluc eventually pulled that off too, exposing you fully to him.
 “So beautiful,” he sighed as he kneeled down in front of you, pulling your hips towards him then pinning your knees to the counter as he lowered his head to your aroused cunt.  “And all mine.”
 You couldn’t help but let out quiet, staggered breaths as he immediately wrapped his lips around your clit, gently sucking and nibbling on the sensitive nub as his eyes remained glued to yours.  “All y-yours,” you reaffirmed, which made him hum in appreciation.
 He had never considered fucking you in the tavern before, especially since he rarely had the establishment all to himself for a shift, but just this once, he was happy he was understaffed tonight.  All the frustrations he had endured this evening, from the annoying table on the main floor to bickering with Kaeya about things that didn’t seem to matter anymore led to this very moment where he hungrily licked your wet folds, burying himself into the sound of your hesitant moans and feeling himself harden by the second.
 “P-Please fuck me already,” you breathlessly begged, “Please, Diluc, hurry…”
 “Cum for me first,” his low voice muttered into your aching cunt, making your legs quiver, “Show me how much you really want it.”
 The whine that escaped your throat was suddenly replaced with a gasp as Diluc pushed two fingers into you, immediately setting a quick pace and pressing into your sweet spot.  “Cum for me, darling,” he let go of the grip on your leg to stand up and hover over your torso, leaning closer to your face and snaking his free hand up your back.  “Be a good girl and cum on my fingers.”
 “D-Diluc…!” you whimpered with a pout, which earned a hum of disapproval from him.
 “Master Diluc,” he sternly reminded you, shifting his fingers into you quicker, causing your brain to malfunction as you began to tighten around him.
 “M-Master…!  I’m…!”
 “Go on,” he ran his fingers through your scalp and grabbed a handful of hair, leaning down to kiss you and muffle your moans of pleasure as you finally reached your climax, gushing around his fingers and trembling at his touch.  You whimpered in his mouth, muscles slightly spasming still as you started to calm down from your high and feel his fingers slowly pull out of you.  While keeping his grip on your hair, he let go of the kiss and stuck out his tongue against his fingers, licking your fluids in front of you and smiling in satisfaction.
 “Good girl,” he said as he revelled in his favorite taste.  You watched as he lapped up all the fluids, the mixture of cum and saliva glimmering on his fingers under the light of the moon through the window.
 Speaking of which, you weren’t sure if it was the way you were slightly tipsy or perhaps the heat of the moment deceiving you, but through Diluc’s messy locks and shiny fiingers, you swore you saw a glimpse of a familiar shade of blue through the window.  It was unmoving, sure, but it was there nonetheless, and it wasn’t there the last time you looked through the glass.
 Maybe it was bad.
 Maybe it was Kaeya.
 Horror sunk into your chest for a fleeting moment, but you blamed it on the alcohol, and the way you were thinking about Kaeya and Diluc so much within the past few hours.  Besides, all the thoughts you were having about the strange color in the window were replaced by the way Diluc unbuttoned his pants with one hand, the other still intertwined in your hair, then freed his cock and let it rest on your stomach as he slowly laid you down across the counter.  He pulled you towards him once more so your head could rest on the wood, his hair-tangled hand acting as a cushion while his elbow took its place beside you so he completely caged you in.  “Be quiet for me, okay?  We don’t want to wake all of Mondstadt this late at night…”
 “I’ll be good,” you promised him, letting your hands travel down to feel his length resting on your skin.  It had some weight to it as you lifted it, and as if you two were mentally in perfect sync, he pulled his hips back to let you position the tip at your entrance.
 Excitement boiled in your stomach as he slowly inched his hips forward, pushing his cock into you little by little, stretching your walls apart by the seams.  Your mouth went agape with the sheer stretch alone and fighting the urge to moan had never been more difficult.  Instead, the only sounds that filled the silent room was Diluc’s heavy breath as he closed his eyes from the way you wrapped around him so well, the gentle gasps and whimpers from you as he bottomed out and nearly hit your cervix, then the sudden rhythmic slapping of skin as he began to pound into you with no warning.
 Your eyes rolled back into your head at the rush of pleasure that came with the rolling of his hips into yours.  It was so difficult to keep quiet, so hard not to at least whimper and give tiny moans here and there as he fucked you silly on that bar counter, but he couldn’t care less since he told you to be quiet and expected you to follow suit.  You knew that.  He instead opted to gently wrap his hand on your throat without applying pressure – simply as a warning.
 You couldn’t control your orgasm even if you wanted to.  The way he stared into your eyes so desperately while his cock kissed your cervix repeatedly made you lose control so easily, and he took advantage of the way you tightened around him by fucking into you harder.  Faster.  Deeper.
 “You’re so fucking good, darling,” his hazy eyes glanced down to your lips with the intent to lean down for a kiss.  “You’re–“
 A loud knock on the door startled the two of you enough for Diluc to stop his thrusts and look up towards the source of the noise, a few red strands of hair draping over your face and tickling your cheek.  He stared intensely at the door, pushing into you again at snail speed as he waited for an indicator of who was the culprit of the noise.
 Another knock sent a jolt up your spine – or maybe it was the way Diluc snapped his hips into you once then slowly pulled back to drag out the pleasure.  With a frustrated huff, he decided to tighten the pressure around your neck and pound into you at the relentless speed he set before, quietly shushing you when you initially gasped in surprise.
 After one more knock, Diluc lost his patience.  It was his greatest pet peeve of interruption becoming a reality.  “We’re closed!” his voice boomed loudly so the person on the other side of the door would surely hear him, startling you at the sudden break of silence.  Clearly frustrated, he pounded into you faster, chasing his pleasure, knowing that he would need to deal with whoever was bothering the two of you this late at night and wanting to quickly reach his release before then.
 “It’s me,” both of your eyes widened at the familiar voice, “I forgot my stuff at my seat, could you let me in real quick?”
 Diluc turned his gaze down past your head to see that, as a matter of fact, Kaeya’s belongings were still at his seat from earlier.  His eyebrow twitched as he quickly pulled himself off of you, leaving you quietly gasping for air and clenching around nothing.
 “Get under the counter,” he whispered so quietly that you just barely heard him, “Don’t move a muscle.”
 Following his command, you made you way under the counter, nestling your naked body next to a cabinet of liquor as you watched Diluc button his pants and loosely put his shirt back on, buttoning it while he walked around the bar towards the door.  At that point, all you could do was listen to a set of keys jingle as he unlocked the tavern door and a gust of cold air rushed through the entrance, strong enough that you shivered behind the counter and hugged your knees to retain warmth.
 “Get your things then get out,” Diluc bluntly greeted Kaeya, who chuckled in response.
 “Aw, why the sudden hostility again?” you heard slow footsteps approach the bar, sending your heart racing with anxiety, “And why the disheveled appearance?  Oh, let me guess–“
 “Get your things.  Then get out,” Diluc said more sternly.  You could recognize that tone from anywhere.  He was furious.
 “But let me guess first!  Judging by the way the tavern is still a mess, I know you weren’t cleaning up the place just now.  And by the way your clothes are so messily put together even though they were so neat and tidy earlier, as well as the sweat on your forehead…  Oh, don’t tell me I interrupted something intimate, dear brother!”
 You didn’t need to see him to know that Diluc’s jaw was tensed, unable to form a response out of pure annoyance and frustration.  And still, Kaeya pressed his buttons.
 “You were fucking her real good,” he teased after waiting for a response and getting nothing from Diluc, ”I could hear it from outside the door.”
 “I fucking hate you,” was all Diluc could say in response.  He didn’t actually mean it, you knew this, but he was beyond irritated.
 Kaeya shuffled to grab his belongings by his seat and turned to face the door.  But as if he weren’t being petty enough, he reached into his bag for something and suddenly tossed it behind him – his house keys, which landed behind the bar right next to your feet.  Your eyes widened at this. You swore you stopped breathing even if you didn’t mean to.
 “I think I might have left something behind the counter too, mind if I check?”
 The silence that followed was unbearable, even if it only lasted a few seconds.  All of the sudden, your heart began to pound out of your chest, not only because of sheer fear and anxiety, but also because of the possibility that Kaeya would see you so vulnerable behind that counter, naked and hugging your knees, waiting for someone to hold you and ‘warm you up.’  Maybe he already did see you through that window.  Maybe it wasn’t just your mind playing tricks on you.
 “Okay, I’m sorry, Diluc, maybe I’ve gone too far–“
 “No,” Diluc interrupted him, “Go ahead.  Go get your keys.”
 What?
 “Seriously?” Kaeya scoffed in disbelief.
 What are you doing, Diluc?
 “Go on.”
 What’s happening?
 “‘Luc, I know she’s there, I’m just messing with you–“
 “No, Kaeya,” Diluc turned to close the tavern door and lock it, “I know you’ve been eyeing her since the very beginning, even before I came along.  I’m not even mad, I just feel sorry for you.  I feel sorry that I took away someone you wanted so badly and that you haven’t been able to move on since.”
 Diluc took a few steps towards the speechless brother and lowered his voice, still maintaining the same intensity and dragging out his words.  “So why don’t you go behind the counter and get your fucking keys?  While you’re there, you might as well fuck my girlfriend with me too, since you want her attention so badly.”
 The room froze in time, only for a moment.  Thoughts began to flood your mind – why would Diluc say that, especially since he was usually very protective over you?  Should you refuse to let Kaeya see you, or let it happen?  After all, it’s not like you weren’t at least a little bit curious how this situation would unfold...
 While you sat in the corner naked and trembling, you held back your breath and listened to Kaeya’s footsteps slowly drag across the wooden floor, the creaking getting closer and closer until he was in your peripheral vision.  “Diluc,” he immediately turned away once he saw you sitting there, exposed and cold, then let out a disgruntled sigh.
 “Come now, Kaeya,” Diluc stepped in front of him to enter the bar and suddenly grab your arm, lifting you up with no hesitation and making you gasp in embarassment.  He pinned your arms behind your back and turned to make you face Kaeya, whose eyes were glued to the opposite wall out of a little bit of respect.  “How about we make this a competition, since you seem to love competing so much?”
 “Diluc,” you whimpered as you tried to struggle out of his grasp with no success, which you didn’t complain about because a part of you wanted to unravel this situation even further.  “Please…”
 “Please what, darling?” he muttered into your ear from behind, “Oh, don’t tell me you’ve been pining for him too.”
 “N-No, of course not,” you whined, “I just…”
 Maybe it was bad.
 Maybe it was bad, but you were going to do it anyway.
 You pressed yourself against his hips, gently grinding on his erection and letting out small whimpers.  Just like Diluc, you hated being interrupted and couldn’t exactly think straight. All of this petty arguing didn’t matter to you, especially since you wanted them both from the beginning either way.  In an attempt to admit your secret without explicitly saying it, you mustered up the courage to mutter, “Please, both of you, stop fighting and just…  fuck me…”
 Diluc tightened his grip around you with a grin, letting out a low scoff.  “Slut.  I knew you were a slut,” your eyes widened and stomach burned in excitement at the sudden degrading nickname he called you, “I bet you’ve been thinking about something like this for a while, haven’t you?”
 You sheepishly nodded as he slowly pushed you back onto the counter, this time laying you on your stomach and bending you over.  “I won’t deny that I’ve been thinking about the same thing lately,” he started to unbutton his top again as you raised an eyebrow at this new information.  He huffed with annoyance as he unbuttoned his pants and turned his head to the dumbfounded brother across the bar.  “Kaeya, either grab your keys and go or stay here and keep her mouth occupied.  I’ll let you decide – just make it quick and quit standing there.”
 With your head dangling off the counter, you watched as Kaeya slowly turned around to face the two of you, studying the scene for a moment before letting out a deep sigh.  As if he finally made a decision, he put down his belongings again, took off his vest, and made his way across the counter, his hips only a foot away from your face.  Meanwhile, Diluc had already freed his cock once more, keeping one hand on your restricted arms and using the other to prod your entrance with his tip.  The excitement was overwhelming, coursing through your veins as you watched Kaeya slowly unbutton his pants as well with a bit of reluctance.
 “Please hurry, Kaeya,” you softly begged, hoping to encourage him to quit holding back since it was obvious he was being overly shy, “Please, I want this so bad…”
 “I’m sure you do, darling,” he adopted the pet name from Diluc, “But I like seeing you so needy for me when I’m moving slow like this.”
 Letting out an impatient growl, Diluc grabbed onto your hips as he sheathed his cock with your cunt all at once, making you mewl and sigh at the feeling of being full again.  He began rolling his hips deeply just as he did before he was so rudely interrupted, never failing to maintain his quick rhythm and making your brain short circuit.
 With his slender fingers, Kaeya held your chin in his hand, lifting your face up to look at his and grinning once he saw how your mind was lost as you burned with pleasure.  He stared at your flushed cheeks and panting mouth, comparing it to the usual calm and composed demeanor you always seemed to have.  He smirked, rubbing a small circle into your chin with his thumb.  “So this pretty, helpless face is what Diluc gets to see every single day?  I’m very jealous, brother.”
 That comment only made Diluc pound into you harder, his weight shifting into his arm to pin you down further.  “Cry about it,” he mocked.
 Ignoring the comment, Kaeya only pressed his lips together in a pout to tease you, slowly taking out his cock which made your mind boggle at the sheer size of it.  He was just as deliciously large as Diluc was, and as he began to stroke it in front of your face, secretly admiring the sight of you being fucked senseless by his brother, you couldn’t help but feel like you were melting in the presence of such dominating forces hovering over you.  Without second thought, you left your mouth agape, letting your tongue stick out in a wordless way of telling him you wanted to take him, to satiate your hungry desires that you hid for quite some time now.
 “Eager, are we?” Kaeya didn’t seem to ever shut up his teasing, “I was just going to stand here and enjoy the show, but if you really want it that badly…”
 One hand on your chin turned into one thumb in your mouth, which you received gratefully nonetheless.  He let you suckle sweetly on his finger, cooing at how pathetic you looked drooling all over it when he hadn’t done anything yet.  All the while Diluc let go of your folded arms and instead used both hands to firmly grip your ass and pound into you deeper, the sound of slapping skin filling up the room along with his shaky breaths now and then.
 A whimper escaped your throat as you looked up at Kaeya’s face,  He didn’t need to hear you say the words to know that you were quietly begging for a taste of him by looking at him so innocently, and as such, your wish was his command.  He took a step forward to nestle the head of his cock into your mouth, his thumb still on your tongue to make you open up wider and let you salivate over the taste of his skin until he slowly began pushing himself deeper, watching your gag reflex just to find out you were taking him in quite nicely.  His heart was aching with jealousy that Diluc was so lucky to have you all to himself, but nonetheless, once he fully bottomed out inside of your throat that he had to remove his finger to fit properly, he saw this as an opportunity to enjoy himself and sighed in pleasurable relief.
 Kaeya’s hands found their place on both sides of your head as he slowly fucked your throat, wanting to relish in the feeling of you wrapped so tightly around him, holding back coughs and tears.  It was a painfully delightful contrast to the way Diluc was relentlessly abusing your aching hole from the other side of the counter, letting out his pent up frustrations of the night in the form of deep thrusts and shameless pants.  Kaeya couldn’t help but leave quiet moans here and there as well while he slowly pushed himself in and out of your mouth, filling your throat up with his entire length just to pull back with a sigh then do it again.
 Eventually, Kaeya became more comfortable with picking up the pace, watching as Diluc’s slammed his hips into yours and yearning for a similar feeling.  His hands traveled through your scalp, tangling through your hair messily as he leaned in to fuck into your mouth with more intent.  You hummed sweetly as Kaeya finally stopped holding back, giving into the pleasure and matching Diluc’s rough pace.  The feeling of the two of them ignoring their feud and instead taking out their frustrations on you made your insides twist and knot together knowing that after so long, your fantasies have come to light – or rather, they came to this dimly lit tavern in the middle of the night.
 Diluc was the first to release himself in you, filling your drenched cunt with his seed and controlling his staggering breaths as he fucked you slowly to calm down from his high.  It made you needy to hear his low groans in their fullest volume, but you knew that that had to be saved for different circumstances.  His fingers that dug into your skin so intensely gently lifted off of you has he wiped the slight sweat off his forehead and simultaneously looked up to watch Kaeya fucking your throat.  If he hadn’t been so exhausted from work tonight, he would’ve secretly loved to invite Kaeya for another round, knowing how tightly your cunt wrapped around him the second Kaeya started touching you.
 Shortly after, Kaeya finally reached his own release too, letting your nose nestle in his trimmed blue hair as he dumped his cum into your throat unceremoniously.  His chest slowly rose and fell with each deep breath he took, trying to control himself as he felt you attempt to swallow his seed while he was still inside you.  The feeling drove him crazy and craving for more, but as he averted his gaze from you to look at Diluc on the other side, a wave of regret and jealousy washed over him knowing that this was probably going to leave him off on bad terms with his brother – again.
 But much to his dismay, as he slowly pulled out of you, Diluc only laughed.  He laughed wholeheartedly as he gently caressed your waist, soothing you while you gasped for air.  Kaeya stood there confused on the sudden lightheartedness in the air, tucking himself back into his pants and getting ready to leave as soon as possible, slightly ashamed for indulging in such an impulsive moment of vulnerability for you and Diluc.
 “Not so fast,” Diluc spoke the first words after the long period of silence once Kaeya started to pick up his belongings, “You’re forgetting your keys.”
 With the help of Diluc, you slowly lifted yourself up to lay on your back, keeping your legs spread and incoherently mewling for more.  Diluc only grinned at this, shushing you with a gentle look and caressing your thigh as he briefly saw his cum pooling on the counter.  Kaeya nervously glanced at you before entering the bar and walking towards his keys next to Diluc’s foot, grabbing them, then standing back up with an averted gaze.  The poor boy was so nervous, but you had to admit he tasted so good.
 Diluc placed a reaffirming hand on Kaeya’s shoulder, making Kaeya lift his head and look into his eyes.  The two shared a moment of eye contact, communicating a shared sense of apology to each other.  Maybe it was bad at first, but regardless of how much they seemed to be at each others throats, they always seemed to make amends in the end.
 “Okay, get out,” Diluc bluntly said, which followed with hurried footsteps towards the door and a quick, “Alright, alright, I’m leaving!” from Kaeya.  The exchange made you laugh, but once Kaeya was finally gone and Diluc had locked the door behind him, you were beginning to get antsy.
 “So,” Diluc trailed his eyes up and down your trembling body still splayed out on the counter, “would you, by chance, ever be interested in doing that again?  Just the three of us?”
 “I want to so badly,” you breathlessly admitted, replaying the past half hour in your head and letting the memory brand into your mind.  “Please, Master?”
 He thought about it for a moment then grinned.
 “I’ll think about it.  As long as you know you belong to me in the end, maybe another round with him wouldn’t be so bad.”
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everafterkeiji · 3 years
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Hello can you do kawata twins, Draken and Taiju with a soft and sensitive S/O?🥺
hey heyyy!! one of the past reqs I've gotten so im sorry for delay:(( i also like ur username >_< but stay safe and hopefully this is ok!! this was my first time writing for taiju so it was a little rough
𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐓𝐎 𝐒/𝐎 𝐖𝐇𝐎𝐒𝐄 𝐒𝐎𝐅𝐓 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐒𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐕𝐄
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PAIRINGS: Draken, Kawata twins, & Taiju x gn! reader
GENRE: fluff
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♡ 𝐃𝐑𝐀𝐊𝐄𝐍 has always been fond of your genuine care towards him and the others. It was your ability to empathize any situation and settle it maturely, understanding both sides to the problem which was a trait he had himself.
- He likes how before you think you would ponder on the possible outcomes to be able to move freely without hurting anyone in the way. He sees it in how you always looked after him as well as for the boys, just constant kindness handed to them.
- Whenever Mitsuya brings over Luna and Mana, the girls go up to you and tells you countless of compliments stating how pretty you were and the next second you're spoiling them with ice cream, laughing and the beam of genuineness you had is something Draken could never not love to see.
- When you two are out on a date and have some leftover as a takeout, you leave for a second and Draken finds you giving it to the local kids on the street, patting their heads with a smile and he swore his heart grew twice as big.
- There are more instances where you'd run off to help an elderly walk the street or just help whoever those who needed it which leads to Draken just seeing you in a corner as an old man pats your head for helping him carry his groceries.
- The only backlash he gets from you is seeing how upset you'd get to see him this badly wrecked after a brawl. You didn't question his strength but this view had been replayed for so many times that it concerns you how he's willing to risk it all.
"Stop frowning, Y/N. I promise you that I'm fine." He assures you but it doesn't work like usual. "C'mon, if you kiss me I'll be okay again." He jokes to ligthen up your mood to which you sigh.
- He also doesn't like to see you cry during some movies because—he also cries. It was a really depressing scene so he can't blame you but he tries to avoid horror movies just so you don't get nightmares.
- You like to thrive in the beauty there is whenever he takes you to a museum or just outside having a picnic. He sees that appreciation in your eyes and how you smile at them so it was often that he'd buy you flowers or little trinkets of art.
- He notices how you get easily flustered by him which he actually thinks it's cute so he does it so much that it frustrates you knowing he just liked to see you blush and stammer around him.
- Despite being the one whose usually sat on the safer side, you can't really help but defend him or the rest of Toman when they get bad mouthed for their acts and Draken always had to make sure you don't get insulted in return knowing how that would affect you in the process.
- He's also careful with his words so he doesn't strike a nerve to you.
- He tries to not drag you in messy and noisy crowds because he knows you get agitated by them and it leads you to be overwhelmed.
- Whenever you do get breakdowns, he's right at your side comforting you how you needed to take a few breathers for you to reach your goal. Even if your attack hasn't sprung yet, Draken likes to caress your back or grip onto your hand to remind you to calm yourself before it happens.
- He knows you tend to shut down from being too emphatetic and being too tired from your own emotions so he'd give you a bit of space but come back when you let him know you need him then he'll arrive with a few blankets and some snacks.
"C'mere you lughead, let's watch some movies."
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♡ 𝐍𝐀𝐇𝐎𝐘𝐀 has a very friendly smile but the things that come out of his mouth are sinister dialogues so he had to volume that down when he got to know you more.
- You know him, he'll say that he can murder you under 5 seconds with a toothy grin and act so nonchalant about it so he had to warn you that those type of phrases would never be directed to you.
- He sees how you resemble his brother—how caring and gentle you were towards others so he just stands from afar with a proud smile.
- He's aware of how you avoided harsh comments or any brutality so before he'd go into a fight, he's always going to leave a kiss to your forehead to your lips just to assure you.
"I'll drop by when it's done, okay? Don't worry about me!" He says while you just sighed in defeat. "You better."
- The funny thing is after the brawl, he went straight to his house and ask Souya to patch him up or at least cover his wounds so you wouldn't get anxious but that was until you see him walking with bandaids when you've gone to the store.
"..Smiley."
"Heya! What a funny coincidence huh? I was actually on my way to your house!"
- He always pauses to stare at you when you'd help others. You just look like a gem making those people happy just by your simple acts of kindness and he's thinking to himself how lucky he was and by the time you go back to him, he's placing sweet pecks to your cheek.
- He can tell how uncomfortable you were whenever you'd be stuck in a noisy environment so he tries his best and leads you to somewhere quieter for you to feel better.
- At first he thought that you were just kidding when you began to feel tense at one of those horror or brutal television series but when he noticed how it still bothered you the next day, he took a mental note to avoid those situations.
- He can feel it in your touch too, how you patch him up, asking if everything was okay for you to continue or even when you're just embracing him as you reach your hands to go through his hair. Everything about your movements were dainty and cautious which he actually liked a lot.
- You're also a very observant and appreciative person which is something he'll never get tired of. It's shown too many times when you'd compliment him or other people, pure genuineness to your voice with a kind smile to them and he's at awe and will always return the gesture.
"Don't forget to call yourself beautiful too." He says to you.
- Speaking of pretty things, you began to buy him some objects that were so pleasing to the eye and when he gets to your room, he can see charms or little stuff toys. He doesn't mind though, he thinks its cute since you'd give him a few of them too.
- The jokes he'd say would often be revised because he was also thoughtful of how you were going to react but you'd tell him how okay it would be.
"I love you." You whispered to him, craddled in his arms.
"Eh, I like you too." He joked, while you pull away momentarily staring him down with teasing eyes as if to challenge him as he shakes his head and buries it to your shoulder.
"Hey, cutie pie, I was just joking~"
"I like you too, Nahoya ♡"
"..not love?"
"Well." You joked, laughing while he rolls his eyes.
- Through your actions, he can sense whenever you had something unpleasant stuck on your mind. He sees how you kept zoning out and how your touch to him always felt loose like you were growing distant so when you two get home he seems to have figured it out when you embraced him once you sat on his bed.
"Everything okay there?" He whispers, caressing your hair while you shook your head that was on his chest. "Do you wanna talk about it, babe?" He asks.
"Let's talk about it later." You answered, closing your eyes and just enjoying his comfort while he understood. "Then take all the time you need."
- Lastly, he likes to hear you spill all of your problems on him because you liked to keep those negative emotions and hide it with a smile so when you finally break from keeping them for so long, he just wants to bury you deep in his arms, lending you his ears any time you needed them.
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♡ 𝐒𝐎𝐔𝐘𝐀, is a softie like you so you two would get along so well.
- He doesn't need to worry much of the wrong things he can possibly say to you because he was always thoughtful of what he does alike you.
- When you first met him, you thought it was quite ironic how he wore a very indignant expression but deep down he had the biggest heart that was bound to be kept by you.
- He feels like his emotions were gonna burst whenever you would be so gentle with him. Combing through his hair, asking him of his day, embracing him tightly or just complimenting him.
- You have a habit to pinch his cheeks or kiss his forehead when you'd look at him fondly and it takes his heart by a storm.
- You were so supportive of him and he hated to see you get so worked up to see him hurt but his attempts were funny.
"Sou-"
"Heya! I missed you so much, Y/N." He says covering your eyes while you walk as you chuckled and he makes his way to run to the bathroom and lets go of your face.
"Babe, c'mon let me help you."
"You're not mad at me?"
"I can never be so come out of there, Angry."
- What more is that when you're putting flowers on Mitsuya's sister then they hook a flower to your ear which makes you smile—he is seriously whipped, to the point it could possibly bring him tears on how beautiful you looked so he's rushing to hug you from behind.
"YOU'RE SO BEAUTIFUL, Y/N." He shouts from your back while you laugh and hug him in return.
- One time when he took you to a petting zoo, he could've sworn you wanted to adopt every animal that was there—regardless how dangerous but he understood since some of them were really cute. If you were moved by such creatures, he was too. He'd snap a few photos of you just for remembrance and he'd look back on them and smile.
- He himself doesn't like to stay in tense situations but if you were to be there, his hand is with yours using his thumb to circle around your skin to ease your anxiety.
- He was part of a gang and even if he knew he could protect you, there were still those who wanted to try and break that barrier so he promises to protect you and make sure you never hear any of their negativity.
- When you do breakdown, he likes to sit across from you with hands to your thigh, patting it for comfort while he talks you through your problems. You can be easily worn out from stress or from dejection so he lets you style his hair, do a little skin care night—anything just to help you but you told him that all you needed was for him to hold you as you calm yourself down.
"I'm right here, I've got you always." He whispers through your hair before landing a kiss to it.
- You like to cling to him during murder scenes in a horror movie and often just doze off on his shoulder but he tries to act tough for you two but when there's a jump screen, he screams along with you and hugs you tightly which erased your shock to chuckle at how cute he was.
- Just because of who you are, you'd be rewarded multiple hugs and pecks from him—well, he doesn't even need to claim it as a reward because he'd do it on purpose anyway.
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♡ 𝐓𝐀𝐈𝐉𝐔, would really like this personality of yours.
- You were so selfless and caring that it does make him want to be a better person and show those same emotions to his siblings.
- He loves to see you help other people at church when he'd ask you to come with him or just those outside the church who weren't able to enter. It makes him awestruck that someone was able to fit through his own personality.
- He likes to buy you flowers just to see that lit up reaction from you and he could see it in your eyes how happy you were to receive them and the appreciation for it so he reminds himself to do it often.
- Despite being so prideful of his strength and the gang he led, he didn't want you to catch him in the act in terms of brawling. He can already imagine the look of worry flashing through your face so he disregards the wish for you to see him win just for you to avoid feeling overwhelmed.
- He does promise you how he'd be able to protect you and you know that he can stick to his word but sometimes your own enemies were the cause so comforting you seemed to be the hardest that he had to encounter but he tries to pull through.
- His love language wasn't ideal if you look at how he treats his siblings so he wonders if he can change that for you. You were in a bad situation, if he can't help you, you'd be stuck in it for a while. So he tries to suggest if you wanted to clear your mind by going for a walk which you agreed.
The night was just filled in silence since you were able to calm down on your own thanks to the comforting sceneries and Taiju was contented that he was able to bring back your old self.
- He'd slip up a few times—not gonna lie. His aggressiveness would peak through and he'd soon regret how shocked and hurt you were which gave him more difficulty to approaching you knowing he was the one to cause it this time.
- It affects you a lot to know his abusiveness so it takes a lot of time for you to return to him and make sure he'd never do it to you again.
- The next morning he does show his regrets by his acts of service towards you. He tried to come off nicer this time, showing how he kept his promise that he wouldn't hurt you so you just thank him for the extra effort.
- He's now extra cautious when it comes to situations that could affect you now that he's seen what it brings you to and he didn't want you to go through that again.
- He just likes how you sympathetic you were and how willing you were to understand their point of view before jumping to conclusions and being tactical your own moves when he'd ask you for some opinions regarding the Black Dragons.
- He was still processing how to act around you to dismiss his attitude but he won't stop until he proves to you that he was capable of change.
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TOKYO REV : @strawberrieas @kwrg @raya-sano @kimrena-stuff @heavensbeloved @rosewood1999
OVERALL: @stesphy @itsmeaudrieee
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dbseamz · 3 years
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The long awaited second half of my first fanfic!
This is the second half (Part 2 of 2) of “Truth and Love Revealed”, my fluffy Rocketshipping confession/first kiss fanfic. The first half worked as a standalone but I wanted to add more, and it turns out I’m a lot better at writing from Jessie’s POV. Or maybe I felt I could flesh it out more because I wasn’t trying to upload it on a Valentine’s Day deadline. Or both.
Side note, if anyone can walk me through how to use Ao3 (particularly the tagging system) I’d love to post both halves together there and reach more readers. I also want to add illustrations at some point.
Here it is:
The distant screech of a Dodrio woke Jessie shortly after sunrise. She kept her eyes closed--if that had been a dream, she didn’t want it to be over. And such a vivid dream, too--she thought she could still feel his arm around her shoulders, heavy and warm under the top of her sleeping bag...
Wait a minute.
Opening her eyes, at first all she could see was James’s sleeping face in front of her. His dark lashes brushed his cheeks, and the little wisp of hair he could never tame hung down, almost touching the pillowlike cushion of his sleeping bag. She could hear the faintest of snores; his mouth was slightly open, each breath making the hair that lay across his cheek flutter. 
For once she let her guard down and allowed herself to fully appreciate just how beautiful he was. It ached, to think of him that way, when she knew her attempts at finding love always went wrong. And that he seemed reluctant, even scared of the idea of dating a girl.
A soft sound interrupted her conflicted state. James was mumbling indistinctly in his sleep, his lips moving slightly before settling as he went quiet again.
His lips...she could still remember what it had felt like to kiss him. No dream of hers had ever been that clear before, or focused on one sequence of events so long instead of dissolving from one scenario to the next. A tiny spark of hope lit in the back of Jessie’s mind in spite of herself. 
And as she stared at his mouth, all soft and relaxed in sleep, she noticed the tiniest smudge of pink on his upper lip. It looked like lip gloss.
Her lip gloss.
It wasn’t a dream! She gasped and barely managed to keep from making some sudden sound that would have awakened James too abruptly, but he must have heard or felt something because the hand on her back moved a bit and his face twitched. The deep, rhythmic breathing faltered as his brilliant green eyes blinked sleepily, then he saw her and his face seemed to light up, those lips curving into a warm smile. “Good morning, Jess.”
She tried to speak and instead produced a sort of high pitched noise like a Pikachu might make if its mouth were covered. Instantly embarrassed, she yanked the corner of her sleeping bag over her head, hearing James trying not to laugh as he sat up.
“What was that for?” he asked, lifting the cloth away from her face. There was no teasing in his expression, just that wonderful soft smile she remembered from last night. When she had peeked through her eyelashes as he described everything he loved about her.
“It wasn’t a dream,” she replied. Half asking.
“Ohhhh...No, no it wasn’t.” He reached down and helped her into a sitting position on top of her sleeping bag, facing him.
“So…” her voice got fainter as she spoke. “Do you really…” Her mouth formed the words love me, silently.
Those gorgeous eyes looked straight into hers. “Yes.”
“I want to hear you say it.”
He met her eyes. Hesitating a bit, as if he too felt that all of this was almost too good to be true, he spoke. “I...I love you, Jessie.”
Tears trickled down her cheeks; she knew it would be clear from her expression that these were happy tears so she said nothing, only watched and listened as he repeated himself. Perhaps he was just as thrilled by the sound of the words as she was.
“Jessica, I love you. I’ve loved you for...so long. You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to say this.”
So her faint hopes and guesses had been true? Part of her wanted more proof. 
Another part remembered that tiny pink smudge. 
“Then kiss me.”
He blinked, looking surprised, then smiled. He didn’t say anything aloud, certainly nothing as bold or cliché as I thought you’d never ask, but his face said he really had been hoping, and not quite believing, that she would make such a request. She puckered her lips and leaned a little closer, waiting. At last, he reached for her, one hand gently cupping the back of her head and neck, the other over her shoulder, his palm warming her back. Slowly, carefully, tilting his head just enough not to bump noses, he fitted his lips against hers.
His kiss was no less passionate than hers had been last night, but he was so tender and gentle that it was an altogether different experience. This time, the feeling of warmth didn’t fizz--it flowed, slow and sweet like sugar syrup. She leaned a little closer to him, eyes closed, and felt his silky hair brush her face.
Too soon, he withdrew, the hand that had supported her head brushing lightly against her cheek as he sat up straight again. Jessie blinked, reeling from the overwhelming sensation.
“How was that?” he murmured, his beautiful green eyes shining softly.
She reached for him, clumsily. “More.”
He laughed, sounding delighted, and scooped her onto his lap instead. She was almost as tall as him, so she had to scrunch down to see more than the side of his head. They shifted until he sat cross-legged and she sat sideways in the space between his knees, leaning back against the arm he’d wrapped around her shoulders with her own arm around his.
Lowering her eyelashes but not fully closing her eyes, Jessie tilted her face up, lips slightly parted. James looked at her, grinned, then leaned in to kiss the tip of her nose, startling a giggle from her. He laughed along with her, then kissed her cheek. And her chin. And her other cheek. And her forehead just below the point of her hairline, so light and tickly that she almost forgot that wasn’t what she had asked him for...almost. The laughter in his eyes reminded her.
“Ja-ames,’ she complained with a playful pout.
“Oh, all right,” he said in the same exaggerated tone, trying not to smile and failing. This kiss was just as affectionate, and she returned it eagerly, wrapping her free hand around the back of his head like he’d done for her. Pressed close against him, she could feel the thump of his heart, quick and strong.
A familiar voice cut through the warm haze in her mind. “Were either of yous gonna tell me about this, or was I s’posed ta wake up to you smoochin’ right in front of me?”
James started and pulled away. He and Jessie twisted around to glare at Meowth--or at least Jessie glared. James just looked rather guilty.
“Is there something you want us to tell you?” Jessie asked, more than a little irritated at the interruption.
“Um. No. Wait, yes!” The little feline’s face brightened. “Who confessed first?”
“Uh—”
“Me.” James’s face flushed pink.
“Ha!” crowed Meowth. “Wobbuffet owes me!”
They had bets on us?! Jessie made to move, but James squeezed her shoulder, urging her with his eyes to relax. She sighed and stayed put, but couldn’t resist saying, “Just so you know, fuzz head, I kissed him first. In case that evens your wager.”
She could feel James laughing silently as Meowth sputtered angrily and stopped digging in their bags for Wobbuffet’s Pokeball. “Hmph. At least I can tell ‘im I found out your secret first.” That thought seemed to cheer him, and he chortled to himself as he began packing away their small camp.
James must have recognized that Jessie was still annoyed, and seemed to be trying to distract her. He stroked her cheek lightly, and in spite of herself she leaned into it, squinting her eyes shut, savoring the gentle touch. He chuckled.
“What?”
Inclining his head toward Meowth, James replied, “I’ve seen him make the same face when someone pets him.” The amusement in his voice faded into mild curiosity as she moved her head slightly to stay in contact with his hand. “You’re touch-starved, aren’t you?”
“Mnph.” It made her sound vulnerable, put that way. And yet there was a part of her that did crave the simple feeling of contact, from the firm, reassuring pressure of his hugs to the delicate brush of his fingertips on her bare skin. It was hard to tell whether or not that came from her feelings for James specifically, but maybe he was right.
He had withdrawn his hand, looking concerned. “I didn’t mean you should stop,” she muttered, half reaching for his hand before he rested it on her cheek again.
That got even more of a laugh. “Just like Meowth.”
“Tell her all my embarrassin’ feline habits, why don’t you?” came the complaint.
“Says the cat who wouldn’t shut up about discovering our secret, when we weren’t even trying to keep it a secret. And besides, I know about ‘em al...ready…” Jessie would have said more, but James had started tracing her hairline with the tip of one finger, then sliding the side of his hand along her jaw. It tickled but in a very good way.
Delicious shivers ran up and down her spine, multiplying as he traced the curve of her ear. Her eyelids fluttered, and she felt as if she were melting into his arms. Maybe it wasn’t just touch she had “starved” for, she realized. Maybe it was affection, or the feeling that someone else cared deeply about her and found genuine joy in knowing she was happy. When James switched from caressing her face to running his hands through her long hair, Jessie let out a contented sigh and buried her face in the side of his neck.
In stories, the love interests always smelled like some poetic and improbable combination of scents. All Jessie could smell with her nose just above his jacket collar and his hair tickling her closed eyelids was a slight hint of sweat, too faint to be unpleasant, and something else, something sweet and distinctly floral…
She inhaled slowly. Roses. Of course. Either he used some sort of scented shampoo or the aroma of the flowers themselves lingered in his hair. Maybe both.
“Jess?”
She lifted her head to smile up at him. “I love you, James.” 
He cuddled her close. “I love you too.”
They sat like that a while longer, until James broke the silence again.
“So,” he said, sounding suddenly shy. “Will you...will you be my—”
“Your girlfriend?” she asked with the same hesitancy, hardly daring to believe what was happening.
He squeezed her shoulder gently. “I was going to say ‘my sweetheart’, but sure.”
“Oh—” 
Her throat was too tight to answer him. She nodded vigorously, hair bouncing behind her, and leaned in to kiss him but found that she couldn’t stop herself from smiling. Instead she nuzzled his cheek with her nose and hugged him tighter and was finally able to whisper, right in his ear: “Yes.” She swallowed hard, not wanting to cry again. “Yes, I’ll be your sweetheart.”
If he had been standing up, she suspected, James probably would have lifted her off her feet and spun her around, so happy he looked—and then sounded, as he replied; “Then I’ll be yours.”
They had things to do, surely. Traps to set, plans to make. Meowth was already grumbling somewhere nearby about “love-boids wasting time”. But it could all wait, Jessie reasoned, if it meant she could stay in her sweetheart’s arms just a little longer.
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yamagucji · 3 years
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love letters from cupid.
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dear lovely anons,
i cherish every bit of interaction we have. im extremely grateful to know that there are people out there who read and enjoy my works. hm, hope you know that i care about each of you. honestly sometimes i just wanna make a post dedicated to each of you but idk!! if you’ll see it or not. hopefully this bit is enough to let you know how much i appreciate every single one of you. thank you.
dear readers,
thank you for reading my works. it’s comforting to know that there are people out there who will check out something that i’ve slapped on together with every bit of my effort. to those of you who have consistently supported my works in silence- you know who you are. im just... keeping my distance because ya’ll are really just minding your own business while i get giddy about seeing you pop up in my notifications again. im hoping to get around and send a ty note to as many special readers n special ppl on this blog. but im a little shy, so i hope you’ll give me some time. seeing you in my notifications from time to time makes me happy; sometimes i do wonder if you’re still here and in good health. i hope you all are right now. thank you.
dear dani,
what a wonderful being you are. never regretting the first time i *shyly* asked if there was anyone that wanted to be friends here. i probably already talk about my love for you and vera so much but who’s gonna stop me? you’re such a cool person. i look up to you (literally). i think it’s amazing to get to know a person who has a lot of passion for history like me. but also- screams about 2d men with me. truthfully, this site is much more bearable having you as a moot. i feel very comfortable talking to you, about anything at all. lomve you, you’re the best.
dear mayya,
kindness personified. im sure you’ve made a plethora of people smile with every rb and comment you’ve given; including me. i think it’s very refreshing to see such genuine comments. you radiate this calm aura that im always seeking for. thank you, for providing me (and many other people) with that. a little embarrassing that you see my uhm, messy sideblog, but... it’s comforting i think. to know that someone is listening. i hope that you understand it goes the other way around too— that i’m here for you.
dear hrituja,
my partner of chaos. when did it start? i can’t remember. all i know is that every little thing you send me on instagram really makes my day. i’ll have bad days and all i need to do is look at the silly stuff you sent me and get a laugh out of it. i think it’s cool that we’ve been able to build this space where we can talk about anything (literally), poke fun of each other, and also ourselves. you’re cool. i genuinely like hearing you go off about ace. if i could meet a moot it’d probably be you unless you’re secretly a fraud and you’re actually just a 80 yr old man looking for a sugar babie. in that case im in.
dear oz,
you overly sweet bean. i genuinely watch you in awe from afar, just by how talented and hardworking you are. your art is amazing, and i always look forward to the design you make for your oc’s outfits. thank you for understanding me, and for being patient with me. i care about you a lot, so if there’s ever anything that’s occupying your mind and you need to let them out, i’m here to listen. ps. i really don’t know any other mutual who listens to *that* comfort stuff like i do so im really thankful to have someone to talk about them with. you can always share your interests with me too, especially with your dearest tendou.
dear tate,
im such in awe of you. just the fact that you devote a lot of your time into writing and setting up the theme for your blog astounds me. not to mention, your art skills as well. i am still very much in love with that bokuto piece you made with the hanging leaves. i hope you know that bokuto loves you just as much as you do to him. i know you’re writing up something special atm, so i’m really looking forward to it. thank you for all the time you’ve spared just to send me an ask. it truly does mean a lot to me. it feels like someone is listening, and i’m very appreciative of having you as my dear mutual. please know that i’m here to support you too, with the best of my abilities.
dear winx club,
[ @wissbby @kageruna @pinkbunnyplushie @astrooliver @lovingtobio @kenmaki @lfjr @lcsbianist ]
im such a clutz, but thank you for dealing with me. i was little nervous to start up such a discord server because im bad at staying in one. though, the warm environment that you all provide makes me feel much more at ease. i think it’s funny popping in to the server and seeing a few people spamming the chat with hugs, headpats and kisses. it’s sweet, too. being in a group discord can get overwhelming for some people, so i appreciate you all for having that patience. another thing- thank you for understanding each other’s boundaries. its hard to be aware all the time especially when you’re interacting with people you don’t know to at a very personal level. im glad that you all helped each other make the space comfy. i look forward to more chaotic and genuine talks with all of you in the future. maybe we’ll still be in touch with each other after a long while? who knows. but im going to cherish every single moment i get with you all.
dear @nishinoya-is-baby @keitsukki11 @sullen-angel24 @smolbludandelions @whootwhoot @cheatingthroughthislife @tadashi-simp @oikaw-ugh @lostsealscreams @sleepykarabou @atsunflower @lfjr @globe-fish @bewwybun @tetsoleil @sleepykarabou @justcafewriter @rin-suna @atsumusc0ck @waitforitillwritemywayout @dorkyhaikyu @yemilnisu @sunseteyes @kenmaki @kenanami,
goodness, i would write you all individual messages if time let me. but, i hope this is alright. i just wanted to thank you all for interacting with some dummy like me because that shit takes real patience </3 y’all are some really cool people and im really glad to have you as a moot. im ngl im pretty sure i’ve stopped by all your inboxes just to forget to actually send an ask :’( or maybe im too shy. one or the other. hopefully i can come around to all your ask boxes soon and fill it with my love because it’s what you all deserve. ya’ll are such amazing and talented people. for the love of god- you have all my love and care in the world. i hope that these past few weeks have been gentle with you, but if not, please let yourself rest from whatever it is that may be putting you down. here’s a gentle reminder that im always here to listen, and i wouldn’t judge you for whatever it is it may be. thank you for being so kind to me, and i hope to return that as well. take care.
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@insanitywrites @derpeedoo @killuababie @lespaghetti @ordinary-ace
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i haven’t told you this until now but, thank you for giving me company and comfort during a time that i was deeply struggling.
ps. if there’s any grammar or spelling mistakes no u did not see that <3
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free-pool-trash · 3 years
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folklore - isaac lahey {7/?}
Hey guys! Sorry for the long wait I’ve been ridiculously busy the past few weeks 😓BUT!!! As compensation I made this part super long and fluffy with sooooooo much Isaac/reader content (enjoy it while you can because shits gonna be messy from here on out 🤭🙈)
Having said that, I don’t have my laptop right now as I moved houses and my stuff got put into storage so I’m working with the mobile version 😓 sorry in advance if formatting is weird I tried to make it better 😓 also there’s no continue reading button so sorry if this comes up on your dash 😭
Let me know what you think tho I’d really appreciate it 💕
Word count: 5.5k 🙈
Warnings: Fluff 😳, mentions of blood, Derek being a PAIN IN THE ASS, Isaac being the cutest 😌✨, ✨kissing✨, swearing
Masterlist
Tag list (open as always): @makeusfreefromthisfandom om, @cece-lives-here here, @chocolate-raspberries , @belsandthings , @dancing-tacos-23 , @truly-dionysus , @britty443 , @tanyaherondale , @furiouspockettoad , @yunsh-17 17, @random-thoughts-003 , @gloomybrieyxb , @futuristicslimemongerbanana , @linkpk88 , @big-galaxy-chaos , @im-a-stranger-thing , @riaisnotcool (I think u had a username change but idk let me know and I can fix it), @its-evita-here , @pad-foots , @sweetpeabellamyblakedracomalfoy , @bookswillfindyouaway , @what-the-hap-is-fuckening , @awkwardnesshabitat , @pieces-by-me me, @wreny24 , @kerosene-angel (if this is the wrong username I’m sorry it wasn’t working the way I had written it down so I’m assuming I just took it down wrong 😳 it it’s not you let me know and I’ll remove you), @marveloucnco o, @babypink224221 let me know if you’d like to be added <3 (strike through means tumblr wouldn’t let me tag you)
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The days you’d spent in Mystic Falls bled into weeks and soon enough you were being beckoned back to Beacon Hills with a head full of things you hadn’t had a clue about two weeks prior.
There, of course, was the matter of Peter- who was now dead, well technically, he was murdered.
Derek’s first course of action as Beacon Hills’ new alpha was to break the news to you. He’d killed him but due to Scott and Stiles’ constant text updates, you knew it would’ve had to be done sooner or later. But still, you had a feeling that this wouldn’t be the last of him. That small intuitive feeling in the back of your mind told you that you’d see him again soon. You just hoped your next meeting wouldn’t be happening because you ended up buried next to him.
Over the course of your stay with Alaric, who had left you in the care of the Salvatore brothers- Stefan and Damon, you’d honed several new vampiric powers. As it turned out, some of the powers you possessed were completely unfamiliar to the vampires of over a hundred years.
You had super speed, it wasn’t just enhanced as you’d previously thought. As well as that, you’d discovered that you could run circles around both Stefan and Damon Salvatore, who were obviously a lot older and therefore should’ve been a lot faster.
And for that matter, they should’ve been stronger than you, they should’ve been able to snap you like a twig. They should’ve been able to. But they weren’t. Because not only were you faster, you were stronger too.
While having super speed and super strength was nice, mind compulsion, your most recent discovery, now that was incredible. All you had to do was look into someone’s eyes and they would become completely entranced to do whatever you told them.
Despite being over a hundred years old, neither Stefan nor Damon had ever seen a vampire quite like you.
They’d never seen a vampire who was also an empath, that, apparently, was usually more of a witch thing. Neither of them had ever come across a vampire bite which had a euphoric effect either. But having said all of that… they’d never heard of someone being turned from a wolf bite. Or a vampire who still had a beating heart, for that matter.
Your only real downfalls were that, for one, your blood’s healing capacity didn’t operate at the same speed for you as it did when being used to heal others. You’d put this down to the possibility that maybe your system had just grown too used to it. To be perfectly honest, though, you had no idea.
Secondly, your empathic tendencies were beginning to bring you down, but it wasn’t just that… it was the way in which you’d been instructed, by Damon Salvatore himself, on how to make them stop.
The plane ride home to California dragged on longer than you would’ve liked, the flight was delayed and you were absolutely starving by the time Derek picked you up from the airport. Your parents were still away, they’d travelled to Romania in search of answers to your predicament and they wouldn’t be home until at least next week, so that left Derek on chauffeur and babysitting duty.
“How are you?” He’d only spoken up thirty minutes into the car ride, you let out a sigh from the passenger seat and gave him a tired smile, you could feel the nerves radiating from him. He was afraid you’d be mad at him for killing Peter, and maybe you should’ve been, but again, you had a feeling he’d be back, and besides, spending time with Damon had helped you realise that everything wasn’t so black and white. It finally registered with you that people like Derek and Damon, the dark mysterious bad boys with secret hearts of gold- they sometimes did bad things but with good intentions.
Once you discovered this, you decided amongst yourself that you’d ease up on your not-really-big-brother in the future. Even if it meant you got hurt a little in the process. If hurting you was what he needed to do to learn his lesson then you’d be willing to make that sacrifice.
So you gave him a soft smile and answered, “Hungry.”
Derek let out a chuckle at that, nodding his head towards the backseat, drawing your attention to the three full blood bags laying on the leather seats.
A delighted gasp left your mouth as you snatched the plastic bags into your hands, wasting no time you stuck the attached tube into your mouth and began gulping the first bag down- it was definitely Stiles’ blood you were drinking, you’d gotten so used to the taste of it you were sure you could recognise it anywhere.
Letting out a happy groan you threw your head back against the headrest, “Stiles Stilinski you are a doll.”
Derek chuckled again, glancing at you fondly before his steely eyes returned to the road ahead.
It was only another 30 minutes before you were back in your driveway. “So are you staying here until my parents get back?” You questioned from the porch as Derek got your bags from the trunk of his car, the wolf shook his head with a smile, “Nah, I’ve got some stuff to do at home.”
“Derek, that home isn’t even structurally sound.” You chastised softly. Surely he’d be happier spending time with the family he still had breathing rather than living in the remnants of what used to be his.
Walking up to the porch, Derek placed your case down gently by your feet and moved himself to stand in front of you. A genuine smile painted his lips as he gazed at you, “New rule.” He stated, placing both of his hands on either of your forearms before going on, eyes staring affectionately into your own, “From now on, I will be doing all the worrying about you, alright? Not the other way around.”
With a defeated sigh, you nodded your head. “I’ll try my best.” That had been a lie. Unable to blind you with his unusually sweet sentiment, through the physical contact you could tell he was scheming.
“Good. Now, go get some rest I’ll come check up on you in the morning.” He kissed your forehead and then made his way back to his car, speeding out of your driveway and out of sight before you’d even unlocked the door.
The house was cold and empty when you’d re-entered. A shiver ran up your spine the second your feet stepped past the threshold. Something was very wrong, and unfortunately, you couldn’t tell what exactly it was that was so wrong. The feeling was unnerving, it was dark and it was agonisingly heavy. Like anxiety on steroids, lots of steroids.
Swallowing thickly, you gripped -more like clawed- at your chest. Nails scraping your skin as you attempted to catch a single breath, though it seemed that oxygen was determined to outrun you as you glanced around helplessly.
Almost twenty minutes has passed as you heaved and gasped frantically, overwhelming dread flooded your chest while simultaneously tears flooded your eyes, and still you didn’t have even the slightest idea of what it all meant.
And then it hit you. That panic- it didn’t belong to you.
Within a second you’d risen to your feet, breathing still staggered while you rushed out the front door, your vampire speed being put to good use as within seconds you were where your panic had led you. Night had fallen by now and it was completely dark, not to mention absolutely freezing, the hoodie you had on doing nothing to protect you from the biting cold in the air. The trail of feelings you’d been chasing had led you to Beacon Hills cemetery and before your eyes, there it was, the something that was very wrong.
Derek and Isaac. More specifically, Derek’s teeth buried in Isaac’s arm. You hadn’t even registered what you were doing when you ripped Derek from Isaac and violently threw him across the cemetery, the impact in which the Hale hit the tree all the way at the edge of the graveyard was a testimony to your strength. You hadn’t even used half it.
Without hesitation, you inspected Isaac’s body frantically, eyes lingering on the bloody bite across his right arm. Slowly and mournfully, your eyes met his, which were wide with shock. His heart was beating out of his chest to the point where you couldn’t ignore it.
“What did he do to you?” The question slipped out as a whisper, your anger melted away only to be replaced by dread as Isaac began to speak, “He offered me the bite and I- I said yes.”
“Isaac…” Your gaze drifted to the bite and you weren’t surprised to see it already healed. “I’m sorry.” You heard him mutter from above you, his anxiety pooling in your chest and mixing with his guilt.
Shaking your head softly you pulled him into you, your arms wrapped tightly around his shoulders while his own arms held you tightly against him as you kissed his temple to release him of the intense anxiety plaguing him. “Don’t be sorry. I understand.”
He relaxed against you upon hearing your words, the two weeks you’d been gone made him realise something, he was utterly useless without you, or so he thought. He felt weak. He felt as though if he didn’t have you as emotional support he was defective. Derek had honed in on that and manipulated it to his advantage, convinced Isaac that the bite was what he needed in order to be strong by himself. To keep you safe instead of you protecting him all of the time.
“Was that really necessary?” Derek’s voice broke the moment and you found anger was surging through you once again. You separated from Isaac to face Derek.
At this point, you didn’t care what his intentions had been, you weren’t going to let him away with this.
“I’m going to give you three seconds to explain why you did this.” As Derek moved to speak you ruthlessly cut him off. “Too slow.” And with that the back of your hand met his cheek, again sending him flying, only not as far this time.
His fangs were barred now, as were yours. Both of your eyes glowing, his red ones threatening as he attempted to demonstrate his power. And yet again, you had a revelation.
You couldn’t stop the laugh that fell from your lips, a synacal and sarcastic lilt to it as you towered over Derek’s form on the floor.
“Oh I get it!” You exclaimed, lip held between your teeth in mock disbelief you pressed your palm to your forehead as you spoke, “You thought you’d go around and stalk some kids so you could add to your big bad pack. Right?” He growled at you and attempted to pick himself up, only for you to give a swift, hard kick to his chest, returning his back to the dirt.
“I guess you told him it’d make him stronger? That it’d make all of his problems go away? And what about the Argent’s, huh? Did you tell him that you were manipulating him?” It was then, again in panic, Isaac spoke up to your surprise, in Derek’s defence.
“(Y/n), I promise it isn’t like that! He told me everything, it was my choice I said yes!” You spared him a glance before crouching down to Derek.
“Well did you tell him how you usually treat your pack?” The words were dripping in venom and the guilt that radiated from the man didn’t deter you from moving forward with you verbal attack, your head turning to Isaac, your eyes sparkling with sadness as you locked eyes with him, speaking hoarsely you wondered out loud, “Did he tell you that he’s a liar? That he doesn’t know how to run a pack? That if he doesn’t understand you he’ll leave you in the dust?”
The look on his face spoke volumes as he recalled the state Derek had put you in the weeks previous.
With a final sneer in Derek’s direction you delivered your parting words, “You better treat him better than you continue to treat me or so help me Derek Hale I will tear you to shreds.”
As you angrily stormed away, Isaac stood in confusion for a second before he began to chase after you, leaving Derek on the dirt floor to help himself.
“(Y/n)! (Y/n) please wait!” He shouted as he was just starting to catch up to you. When you felt that you were at a good enough distance away from Derek you finally slowed your pace.
When Isaac finally made it to your side, he was panting slightly, swallowing the lump in his throat he nervously grabbed your hand.
“I’m sorry.” He repeated, his eyes resembling those of a puppy and you could already feel your composure slipping away from you as you looked at him.
It’d been almost three weeks since you’d seen him, three weeks since you’d made out in the school basement and this definitely wasn’t how you were expecting the reunion to go.
“Isaac it isn’t your fault. I’m not mad at you, ok? I get it. I’m just worried, this town isn’t exactly kind on the supernatural.” You reassured him gently, squeezing his hand and giving him a sad smile.
“Don’t worry about me.” Isaac told you and you had to laugh, “Sorry, babe but I will not be taking my eyes off you until this town becomes normal.”
Isaac’s face was then taken over by, what could only be described as, a Cheshire Cat smile, “Did you just call me babe?” His voice was teasing and you felt your face heating up despite your freezing temperature.
Sucking on the inside of your cheek you tried your best to conceal your growing smile, you shrugged innocently, “Yeah. What about it?” The playful lilt in your voice had his smile widening even more as he began to lean down to you, his face getting closer to yours by the second.
His breath fanned across your lips when he spoke next, “I liked it.” With that, his lips pressed to yours cautiously, as if he was still unsure of whether or not it was okay to do so.
His uncertainty melted away when he felt your lips begin to reciprocate his actions and your hands moved to cup his cheeks.
The both of you could agree that this kiss was different than the last one you’d shared a few weeks ago. “Why is it that we only ever kiss when one of us is coming out as a supernatural creature?” Isaac laughed against your lips as you pulled away with a sigh.
“It would be us wouldn’t it.”
After a few minutes of nagging at Isaac you managed to put all the pieces of Derek’s plan together. Isaac himself didn’t actually know all that much, just that he was the first to be turned, but that alone told you everything that you needed to know.
Derek was now an alpha with no pack, so logically, a pack was what he was building and that would have been perfectly understandable- if he hadn’t started with your best friend.
“There’s a full moon coming up, did he tell you what would happen?” You questioned gently, ready to throttle Derek when the boy in front of you shook his head.
Heaving a deep breath you squeezed his hand reassuringly, the initial excitement of being turned had worn off and Isaac was beginning to radiate anxiety once again.
“Don’t worry okay? I’m gonna call Scott, he’ll be able to help you.” Isaac’s eyebrows came together in confusion, “Scott McCall?”
You nodded your head, “He’ll know how to help.” You tried to convince Isaac without spilling Scott’s secret. Not that it was going to stay a secret for too long, but it wasn’t your secret to tell.
Isaac shook his head rapidly, his hands moving to hold your forearms, his panic at your suggestion hitting you like a freight train as he stared into your eyes, a wild look in his own.
“No no no no. You can’t tell anyone. (Y/n) promise me you won’t tell anyone okay? If my dad finds out I’m a werewolf he’ll-“ The words came out almost as fast as you could run and his panic only intensified when his father entered his mind.
Quickly catching on to his looming panic attack as his eyes began to glow yellow you cut him off, “Isaac.”
He didn’t hear you as he kept rambling, claws growing past his nails and digging into your arm, “No he’ll kill me. Oh my god he’s gonna kill me. (Y/n) he’s go-“
Yes, it would’ve been easy to rip your arms from his grasp that was causing you quite a lot of pain as his nails sunk into your skin as his hands held onto you desperately. However, you had a feeling that his hold on your now bloody forearms was the only thing keeping him from spiralling completely out of control.
“Isaac! Look at me!” Your voice was strict but served to make his amber eyes finally settle on yours.
Gently, you finally slipped your arms out of Isaac’s clawed grip, although you were sure it would’ve been less painful to just leave them, his claws dragged down your arms while you lifted them slowly and cautiously until you replaced them with your hands, using your new grasp of the boy to provide him with some peace of mind.
You focused your energy on shifting a sense of relaxation from your own palms to Isaac’s sweaty ones as you spoke, voice soft again, “I’m not going to tell anyone. It’s just you and me, alright? Focus on me, yeah?” Isaac nodded his head, still slightly frantic but calmer than before as he did as you told and simply focused on you, “Take a deep breath.” You instructed, breathing steadily along with him until his eyes returned to their natural blue colour and his claws retracted.
A moment of silence passed with Isaac slumped against you, hands held tightly in his while he steadied his breathing. You placed your lips to his cheek and then again to the bruise forming beneath his right eye, you hadn’t noticed it earlier. You’d almost forgotten it’d been nearly three weeks since you’d been together, he’d probably been though it with his demon of a sperm doner over the time you were away.
“I’ve missed you.” It was Isaac that broke the silence when your lips disconnected from his injured face.
“I missed you too.” You replied simply, there was so much you’d planned on saying to him while you were in Mystic Falls but at the moment, you felt there were more pressing matters to discuss and again, it was Isaac who spoke.
He pulled away slightly to look at you properly, hands still clasping yours, he gave them a squeeze before he started speaking, “This pack that Derek’s building… I’m guessing you’re not in it?”
“I was never asked. But I’ve kind of already got a pack, which you are more than welcome to join.” You responded hopefully, wishing he’d agree but you knew he wouldn’t. As such a fresh beta he’d stay loyal to his alpha, but, you had to ask.
Isaac nodded his head sadly, “Scott McCall?” You let out a small laugh, at how quickly he’d caught on, “Yeah. He’s not exactly an alpha but he’s helped me out a lot, more than Derek has.”
“Derek told me that wolves are stronger as a pack, he didn’t say anything about vampires though.” Isaac went on, a confused lilt in his voice.
“I found out in Mystic Falls that vampires rarely belong to packs and by vampire nature I don’t need one, but Ric figures that it’s in my nature to want one since it’s all I’ve ever known.” You relayed the information to Isaac.
“Then why not, you know, join mine?” His lip was pulled between his teeth and he was looking at you with a hopeful expression.
“Isaac I just told you…” You said pleadingly, you didn’t want to upset him any further but you also couldn’t throw away the pack bond you’d built with Scott and Stiles when you’d first turned. If it was a matter of Isaac’s pack being made up of just Isaac there would’ve been no problems, it was the fact that it wasn’t Isaac’s pack but Derek’s.
Scratching what you’d decided about Derek earlier, you came to a new agreement with yourself: all of hell would freeze over before you even thought of easing up on Derek Hale.
Isaac threw his head back with a groan, “Come on, (N/n)! We are not going to let our love play out like Romeo and Juliet!” The way he spoke was humorous but it was obvious that he wasn’t really joking.
With a sigh you moved your shaking hands, that were now covered in scabbed over cuts as opposed to their previous status of raw and bleeding, to Isaac’s face. Your thumbs moved gently along his cheek bones as you took him in with an encouraging smile on your face as you told him confidently, “I refuse to let us become a modern day Romeo and Juliet, that’s not happening.”
You pulled him closer to you, slipping your arms around his shoulders and doing your best to ignore the butterflies rioting in your stomach when his arms wrapped tentatively around your waist.
You brought your lips to meet his briefly before fixing him with another determined look, “But listen to me, we might be loyal to different packs but I’m on your side, no matter what.”
Isaac nodded his head in understanding, “If it comes down to it, I’m always gonna choose you.” He responded honestly, arms tightening around you to hold you against his chest, his height causing his chin to be tilted downwards so that he could meet your eyes.
“I meant what I said to Derek, by the way.” You informed, Isaac’s eyebrows rose in confusion again, “If he mistreats you I’ll tear him apart.”
“Should I give Scott the same warning?” Isaac asked humorously and you had to shake your head in order to hold back a laugh.
It wasn’t until you’d separated from your embrace with Isaac that you took into account the fact that your body was now shaking with the cold.
“Come on, I’ve gotta call my dad and probably the sheriff and you’re freezing.” Isaac stated, wrapping an arm around your shoulder and leading you back to the cemetery where you noticed his overturned excavator and the dug up grave plot.
You listened with curiosity while Isaac spoke to his father on the phone, trying to explain exactly what had transpired in the last couple of hours since his shift started.
“How the hell does an excavator just flip over, Isaac?” You could hear his fathers anger through the line and Isaac fumbled for a response, “Someone, or something- I don’t know it could’ve been an animal, but it got pushed from the side and tipped over. I fell into the plot I was digging and that was it, I didn’t see the rest.” He explained weakly.
“You still stuck in hole, you idiot?” You watched as Isaac clenched his jaw and motioned to yourself when he was finally looking at you, “No. No, um, (Y/n) just got back from Virgina, she came looking for me and helped me out.”
“She still there?” His father questioned, seemingly cooling off at the mention of your name. You hated how much that man seemed to like you when he should’ve held that affection for his actual son.
“Yeah, she’s with me now.” Isaac confirmed and you offered up a fake cheerful, “Hi, Mr Lahey!”
“Invite her over while I call the sheriff and see about getting this mess cleaned up.” With that, he hung up the phone and Isaac sighed, “You’re starting to look like Mr. Freeze, let’s get you warmed up.” His arm stayed comfortably wrapped around your shoulder and as you reached up to hold his hand that was hanging over your shoulder you stopped dead in your tracks, “Isaac, I can’t go and greet your father looking like this.”
You motioned to your torn and bloodstained hoodie, immediately regretting it when his eyes widened in shock, “Did I… oh god (Y/n) did I do that?”
Not missing a beat you grabbed his hands and made sure you soothed his panic before you got a rerun of earlier.
“It’s not your fault. You’re new to this, okay? Mistakes happen and that’s fine it’s all part of the process. And look!-” You pulled off the hoodie to reveal your now completely healed arms and hands, nothing but dried blood to show that the claw marks were even there in the first place. “‘M all healed up! No harm done.” You reassured him, bringing his lips to yours to further convince him that you were okay and distract him from the guilt you could feel building within him.
Your arms, although no longer cut, were covered in goosebumps as Isaac ran his hands affectionately down the length of them. “It won’t happen again.” He promised and you gave him a shaky smile, teeth beginning to chatter, “Let’s go home?” Isaac nodded his head, nothing short of ripping his own hoodie off before pulling your arms through the sleeves and moving himself in front of you to zip it up.
You watched completely content as he fumbled with the zipper. His curls were falling in front of his eyes and his eyes were squinted in concentration. The quiet, but triumphant, “got it” he let out when he finally finessed the zipper had you grinning like a fool.
When he moved his focus from the zip and back to your face, he smiled bashfully, “What’re you looking at me like that for?”
The sleeves of his hoodie, that was miles too big for you, hung far past your wrists and brushed against the nape of his neck, your fingers finding a place tangled in his hair while you stared at him, grin ever present.
Your other hand was otherwise occupied being placed firmly against Isaac’s chest, enjoying the feeling of his rapidly beating heart, and you didn’t know it entirely. But in that moment it was beating for you and you alone.
Isaac’s hand made itself comfortable holding your waist, the other holding your own against his chest, keeping it in place.
Neither of you needed to say it. You could both feel it. But still, you found yourself uttering the words, “I love you.”
Not half a second had passed before Isaac echoed your declaration, “I love you.”
“I feel like if I kiss you right now I won’t be able to stop but I’m still freezing my ass off so… your place?”
Isaac nodded his head in agreement, “My place.”
*
Upon arrival at the Lahey residence, Mr. Lahey had greeted you with a wide smile and ushered you into the kitchen where he instructed Isaac to make you some tea, to which Isaac had to restrain a grumble as he’d been planning on doing it anyway.
Mr. Lahey was happily chatting away to you when Isaac set down two cups of tea, one in front of his father and one in front of you, his eyes lingering on you with a certain kind of glint before he turned back to the counter to grab his own cup and returning to sit beside you at the table.
Isaac was, in all honesty, losing it. He didn’t even know why. You were just sitting there, wrapped up in his hoodie, nose ever so slightly pink from the cold, talking politely to his father. It was nothing out of the ordinary but he was finding it hard to think about anything other than how his hoodie would look splayed on the floor of his bedroom.
He wasn’t very good at hiding it either, you could feel it as clear as day. Teenage boy hormones mixing with teenage werewolf hormones were causing havoc and it’d be a lie to say it wasn’t having an affect on you.
Trying to return your attention to whatever Mr.Lahey was babbling about you clearing your throat and took a sip of your tea, keeping your expression neutral as Isaac’s hand slipped to your knee under the table. His attempt to pull you into his mess of hormones was obviously successful as you found yourself ready to yell out in frustration when his hand stayed put on your knee for a solid twenty minutes before his father finally rose from the table.
“I’m going to check out the situation at the cemetery, you’re welcome to stay tonight, it’s pretty dangerous out there these days.” Mr. Lahey offered and you smiled innocently at him as he stood in the doorway, “I think I’ll take you up on that. Thank you.” The older man gave you a nod but said no more before walking out the front door.
“What the hell are you doing?” You finally burst when the front door clicked shut, whipping around to face Isaac.
“What?” He asked as if his hand didn’t start sliding further up your leg the second his father left the room.
You groaned, “Don’t ‘what?’ me when you’re about four centimetres from having your hand between my thighs!”
“Sorry.” He immediately retracted his hand, eyes wide as he realised how close his hand was to reaching the top of your thigh, “I, um, I didn’t mean to- I mean, I did mean to but i won’t do it again if you don’t want me to-“
“Isaac.” You cut him off, lip pulled between your teeth, “I want you to.” You declared and he let out a heavy sigh full of relief, “Thank God.” He muttered before he was pulling you up off the chair and right against his chest.
His lips immediately found yours and his hands were gripping your waist like there was no tomorrow.
At this point, the butterflies in your stomach were going absolutely bat shit feral when his lips began to trail past your lips, to your chin, then to the curve of your jaw. It was when his hand slipped deftly up your side to settle against your jaw that you realised just how much you’d been wanting this.
Isaac’s lips fell further to your neck and you couldn’t stop the hum of approval that escaped your mouth at the sensation of his soft lips sucking and licking at your pulse. “It this okay?” He asked in a mutter, the dainty and nervous nature of his voice contrasting greatly with the confidence and ferocity of his actions.
Your hands tugged gently at his hair to get him to meet you clouded eyes, when he looked at you you were sure that his eyes had flashed yellow, his breathing was getting heavy and you had an inkling that his lips on your neck was the most exciting thing that was going to happen between you tonight.
“It’s more than okay.” You told him with a dopey smile, letting out a laugh when he dived back into the crook of your neck, kissing your skin through a smile.
Despite your words your hands moved to his chest to push him away slightly, “But…” you started as Isaac threw his head back with a groan, “I think we should stop, and maybe revisit this after the full moon passes.”
After taking in a steadying breath Isaac nodded in agreement, “Yeah, you’re probably right.” His hand slipped into yours and he intertwined his fingers with yours, he spent a moment just looking at your linked hands with a fond smile and the look of achievement on his face. It was easy to tell, with the help of your empathic powers, that Isaac was proud of himself.
You yourself couldn’t quite pinpoint why he was feeling so prideful in the moment, but he knew. To be truthful he wasn’t just proud of himself, he was downright ecstatic. He’d been nothing more than your best friend since you were both eleven, and now, six years later he finally crossed the threshold from being your best friend to being your- well actually now that he thought about it, he wasn’t sure what he is to you now.
A few hours passed before Isaac worked up the courage to ask the question that had formed in his mind after his make out session with you earlier.
The pair of you had since gotten comfortable in his bed, which was nothing particularly new. You laid on your side with your back to the bedroom door, Isaac was behind you, his chin tucked in between your shoulder and your neck with his arms around your torso holding you close to him.
“Can I ask you something?” His voice broke through the silence and you responded with a tired hum, adjusting his arm so you could snuggle closer and tried your best to stop yourself from falling asleep while he murmured softly in your ear.
“What are we?” He kept his eyes trained on the dark room ahead of him, his hand grabbing yours as you readjusted his arm and he absentmindedly began playing with your fingers, the action being successful in calming his nerves.
“What do you want us to be?” You asked sleepily in response, a small smile forming on your face as you heard his heartbeat speeding up.
Isaac let out a nervous breath against your neck and you held back a shudder at the feeling, “I was kind of thinking that all the kissing would make us a couple.” Letting out another sleepy hum, if it was even physically possible, you snuggled deeper into his hold. You sluggishly turned your head to place a light kiss against his cheek, “Then we’re a couple.”
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If it’s alright that I spin off a little on your last ask, regarding that we know touch isn’t a big thing in shadowhunter culture. That just... kinda kills me a little bit? Because in the show Alec is so tactile?? Even with himself in always wringing his hands together (big mood tbh) and with Izzy and the fact that he always carefully touches Magnus’ shoulder whenever he wants to comfort him?? Like he’s so willing to be close and hug people to show appreciation and we KNOW they’re both so touch starved and they’ve both had to hold themselves back for different yet palpable reasons and like,,, UGH, then healing from the abuse together but without it being unhealthy codependency or necessarily trauma bonding but rather, they work out what it is they each need to heal from and they support each other through it and in that support they find so much comfort from just touching. Which leads me to your theory about how much intimacy there must be in hand holding for Magnus since that’s where he expresses his magic? And I feel like, maybe sometimes it’s almost a little too much and Alec notices because of course he does, so he just gives a little affirming squeeze before letting go and Magnus being kind of stunned cuz like?? Wow he noticed that I can’t handle this intimacy right now and that’s okay apparently?? Wow imagine that. Like I just andhnsg I love their love and understanding of each other and I love that Alec doesn’t even seem to care that he initiates everything because he gets it!!! He knows Magnus might be ready one day but until then he’ll take the reigns and Magnus feels so safe in knowing he doesn’t HAVE to do anything!! Because he’s enough regardless!! Wow I’m a puddle
yes!! yes!!!! you absolutely get it!!!!!!! honestly alec and magnus have struggled with very similar things, and even have some similar tropes in how that affected their psyche (like they both obviously feel like they have to be useful and put themselves in a position where they have to solve other people's problems and be their caretakers in a way), i think the main difference between them is that magnus internalized it while alec not so much internalized it as understood that that's the safest way he would get to live. like of course there is stuff alec internalized but... with stuff like touch, we see how tactile he is, like u said. he is always touching magnus! grabbing his hand, his shoulder, going for kisses, getting into his personal space, chest poke, etc etc etc.
i think a part of that is thanks to izzy? like again mandatory disclaimer that i know izzy did a lot of shit and was extremely unhelpful to alec, but the fact is that izzy is very tactile and way less into obeying everything about shadowhunter culture. like we saw the way she was playing with max, then immediately stopped when she saw her mom, she knows she's not supposed to, but instead of alec who tries to play by the rules, she allows herself to rebel and do what she wants. partially, of course, because alec is already taking the role of the obedient child, and we know that he took most of the pressure from the lightwoods unto his own back so he could protect his younger siblings from it. so partially izzy "gets" to rebel (altho of course she faces a lot of abuse for it) because alec doesn't. but i also think that, beyond the eldest sibling syndrome, alec just... is very practical in that sense and if he's learnt that that is the way he should act, he's gonna follow it. the fact that izzy is very tactile and questioned all that stuff helped alec not internalize it as much by a lot, imo. also, like, he got to at least have one (1) person he could be tactile with, because we know that the lightwood sibs are all over each other (good for them!)
and i totally get what you mean about their relationship and the healing! it's one of the things i find very interesting about their relationship, because while they have SO much in common, including the abuse and suicidal ideation history, and have managed to help each other through the worst of it plenty of times... that wasn't really a big thing in how they bonded and built their relationship? which is SO great, because that balance isn't easy to pull off. like the main reason they are together is because they are FRIENDS and they have fun together and they are supportive and they are compatible, it's not built on their trauma at ALL, but it also doesn't ignore it. like they managed to make that something they can relate to the other without making it a pillar of their relationship, which almost inevitably leads to codependency or toxicity. and i just fucking love that for them
and again they are not really trying to fix each other (their talk about suicide and all was SO great, like... magnus didn't ask alec to live for him, or to stop hurting himself, or any other thing that would most definitely not work and just lead to alec hiding from him, he just made sure to open that channel of communication and ask alec to be open to him about it, ya know? and the same when magnus told alec about his past, alec didn't try to fix it or make magnus forget it or anything of the sort, he just made sure that channel was open and that magnus knew he would always support him and be on his side and wouldn't judge him for his past and aaa) but they actually have a dynamic that does them good? particularly i think exactly that i was talking about, with magnus being always scared of making the first move and thinking he's too much, and alec genuinely just wanting to shout from the rooftops and do everything he had been denying himself so far. like again i want to see magnus grow confident enough to love unapologetically and make the first move, but the fact that alec is so confident and open about what he feels does magnus so much good. and it's not something alec is trying to do - which is good, because that's not his job - it's just something that really works between them because it's how alec genuinely wants to be. you know what i mean??
or the way alec is always willing to have difficult conversations and is always so honest about how he feels and does not play any kind of games... like magnus is so used to navigating conversations and relationships like it's chess, because he needs to be careful to protect himself, but alec is just... not interested in being anything other than himself. and again he's not trying to do something that makes magnus feel more at ease and second-guess himself less, it just happens to be how he is and it happens to be really good for magnus
or the way neither of them expect the other to fix their problems is good because they both think they have to fix everyone's problems, preferably on their own, which is not good for them OR their relationships. and i could go on forever tbh. my point is: they do each other good, not because they are constantly trying to help each other, but because their dynamic is good and they are compatible in that way
and god yeah that thing you said about intimacy like!!! i think most of the time magnus needs and craves intimacy and just doesn't know how to ask for it, but they are also just so respectful of boundaries and pay so much attention to each other in that sense, you know? and yeah alec realizing that magnus might feel too vulnerable and letting go while also reassuring him that it's ok and he's not angry or disappointed is just... good shit. and like not to project but magnus being genuinely so shocked that alec even realized that something was too hard for him without him having to even say it? fucking imagine that. it lowkey blows his mind
but also all the vulnerability and implicit trust of handholding when hands mean so much for warlock culture and the fact that to him it's both an act of sharing and of trusting, because like - canonically, if you hold a warlock's hands down, they can't use their magic. so it's such a vulnerable act, both due to that and the fact that he is literally giving alec access to his own strength and magic source, and alec is doing the same too! just aaaaaa it means so much and i KNOW i've talked about this already but i lose my mind!!!
also alec being so fucking happy whenever magnus initiates those touches?? especially handholding? knowing how much that means for magnus and also just because he loves it and we know that? like again i can't get over the way he just grabbed magnus' hand and started towing him along to that locker thing (LET'S GO MAGNISS). or the way he smiled up at magnus when they held hands during lorenzo's party? chef's kiss. 10/10
so like him being genuinely happy both for himself because he gets to hold a man's hand (magnus' hand!!) to his heart's content and for magnus because he knows how much that means for him. honestly i think at the beginning alec didn't even realize he was always the one initiating stuff because he was just so drunk on getting to do everything he wanted and he was just like Must Hold Magnus' Hand all the goddamn time but of course eventually he's gonna notice, especially as he gets to realize the extent of magnus' insecurities, which i think he lowkey doesn't because the idea that magnus doesn't know how he feels about him just sounds RIDICULOUS when it's like, overwhelming to him sometimes, and not something he ever second guessed. but anyway, once he does realize he just... gets it and is mostly sad for magnus but he doesn't mind initiating it most of the time, on the contrary, he loves getting to do it after so long of holding himself back. but he's also happy for magnus' every step you know
also eventually magnus is gonna reach the point where he is just drunk on the fact that he GETS to express how he feels without fear and he is kind of all over alec the way alec is all over him and i bet alec loves it doahdsah he's just smiling or even laughing all the time when magnus touches him and they are both just so happy to have each other and aaa im dying
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animatedrapture · 3 years
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I HAVE GASOLINE LAYING AROUND IN MY HOUSE AND IM OMW TO SET KANA ON FIRE :))))
ok im about to compile possibly like 10 chapters worth of kana hate KJHLDSDJS
so. sorry i wasnt able to respond to so manyyyyyy of these on time and all, i get overwhelmed super easily but i truly, truly love all of you and appreciate each msg :DD these have all either made me think real hard LMFOAHJSKD or had me laughing so hard and gasping lmfao. but yeah, i appreciate all of these and everything i mightve never gotten bc tumblr asks is dumb as well as the ones ive still yet to come back to or answer. almost each and every single one of these have been a guidance with what i wanted to do with the smau, whenever i wanted to switch something up or make something better in the smau, your msgs helped a lot in improving it in some way and helping me figure out what i truly wanted to do with the smau and for that, thank u!!!
Anonymous asked:
FUCK KANA ALL MY HOMIES HATE HER HANA SPILLED HER DRINK ON HER? SHE DID THE RIGHT THING ALSO FUCK SUNA BC EVEN UF HE HAD SEX WITH YN AND SAID HE ADORES HER HIS ACTIONS/AFFECTION TOWARDS KANA GIVES MIXED SIGNALS AND ITS TIME HE GET ACCOUNTABLE OF SAID ACTIONS sorry for the rant 🥴
Anonymous asked:
the “tw kana” absolutely sent me into orbit i cackled 😭
Anonymous asked:
anons bonding over kana hate🤝🏻🤝🏻🤝🏻
Anonymous asked:
yeah its only you who doesn't dislike her FGHDJGKUJ IM KIDDING no but really more than hate her its hate the way shes in between like it pisses me off the cockblock she is 😭😭
Anonymous asked:
if i were kana,,,i would either tell him i still have feelings OR hurt in silence (step back) since technically he or should i say they decided to be JUST bestfriends not cockblocking the possibility for him to be in a relationship
Anonymous asked:
kana has to make a choice: she confess or shut the fuck up bc as far as we know they decided to be just bff (highkey think suna was more into being just friends and kana kinda lied) so IF he likes someone else why the fuck try to sabotage him (his happiness with someone else) when he find it out then what? would he still keep her as a friend? 🧐
Anonymous asked:
What if I just...shift or whatever you guys call it, into As Friends universe...and bonk Kana on the head...lol just kidding...ah ha ha ha No please she is starting to sound like the girl best friend that would make couples break up because she does not care about boundaries...honey, you're the best friend, yes, you're important, but that's his girlfriend...stay in your lane. Lol like "I don't want to confess" but "He's mine so I have to get rid of all competitions" lol fucking clown yeah no, I don't have to wait for you to write more about her to make me hate her sksksksksk I already do
Anonymous asked:
Ayo istg kana's been giving y/n the stinky eye... if she stares at y/n like that one more time LAWD HELP HER SOUL, im coming for her eyes!!! But fr,, Rin better treat y/n right and put kana in her place. Bc y/n got a best friend too (samu) u^u and he can cook and would treat her good.
Anonymous asked: likE I KEEP SAYING eAT SHIT KANA
Anonymous asked: I am CRAVING IMMENSE VIOLENCE bring that girl kana here lemme knock her teeth down her throat. >:(
Anonymous asked:
kana (derogatory)
Anonymous asked:
istg if a bus doesn’t hit kana i’m gonna do it
Anonymous asked:
kana toxic best friend it’s time for suna to realise IT 😤😤
Anonymous asked:
kana has family problems only rin knows about? what in the ao haru ride manga 😐
Anonymous asked:
WHY KANA FUKC
Anonymous asked:
NAH MY GUT FEELING TELLING ME KANA WAS BAD NEWS SINCE THE BEGINNING also she wants suna all to herself (he sees her as a bff) but doesn’t say shit to him... if course he’s gonna find someone in the future whether in college or after (unless the bitch will still to his ass even when he goes pro)
Anonymous asked:
everyday i wake up with notifs from u i feel like im about to get subjected to pain and IM RIGHT THIS TIME TOO what the hell kana u will never be yn (me) 🙏🏼🧇
Anonymous asked:
bro part of me wants to punch suna so bad bc like hes so awkward but so smooth like who tf do u want stop being a smooth ass mf u know these two bitches like u
Anonymous asked: i might just obliterate everyone named kana cause of as friends THE WHOLE TIME MY EYE WAS TWITCHING CAUSE OF HER FUCK KDDSKDLSDK EVERYONE WHO WANTS TO OBLITERATE HER SAY "I" but like hi! i hope youre well
Anonymous asked:
even tho u always insist you'd never het mad at me girl HUHH i used to be genuinely good w kana now she's just a manipulative bitch :// kana babe sorry but ur best friend is allowed to spend time with other people 🙄
xmyshya asked:
I 👏 love 👏 Hana 👏 Also 👏 fuck 👏 Kana 👏 and Rin you idiot, what do you mean he's not gonna pursue dating T_T it's just a few chapters till the end T_T wut T_T
yourstarvic asked:
Kana needs to back up before she gets beat up 😤 me and my homies ain’t playing no more 😤
Anonymous asked:
omg that ur probably mad (even tho u said u’d never get mad at me!) broooo
Anonymous asked:
kana gonna get even more territorial in the next chapters im getting kinda scared to see how rin reacts 😒 shes gonna lowkey (highkey) manipulate rin like oh u said youll never leave me you said i come first and all that mhmmm girl dont make me break your neck 👎🏼👎🏼
Anonymous asked:
huh so is kana basically a pick me girl
Anonymous asked:
“you’d be selfish abt this” girl
Anonymous asked:
why tf kana gotta ask yn bro u don't know her just ask suna directly 🙄 putting her in an awkward ass position how's she supposed to say no i'm sorry kana's being annoying as hell rn
Anonymous asked:
it’s time for kana to realise: - yn aint just a fling bc suna is spending more time with her - suna clearly sees her just as his bff
Anonymous asked:
Kana saying "I was worried you'd be selfish about this haha" well bitch now I gotta be 😒
Anonymous asked:
“i was worried you’d be selfish about this hahaha” -the one who’s for the streets kana better watch herself…y/n was being kind, i will not be
Anonymous asked:
DID KANA REALLY HAVE THE NERVE TO ASK US?????? TO POSTPONE OUR PLANS WITH RIN???? pls that « you understand, right? » was just so manipulative oh my god-
Anonymous asked:
kana can go cry & write to her diary about it 😘😘
Anonymous asked:
“y/n right?” after literally meeting her plssss
Anonymous asked:
miss kana is just gonna have to miss him a little more bc i'm not canceling SHIT!!
Anonymous asked:
kana is playing chess while we’re playing checkers
Anonymous asked:
everytime you post and kana gets fucked over my day is made and it all I'm going to think about
Anonymous asked:
im catching up on as friends bc i havent read a few chapters and kana saying “arent you just with yn” made me extra angry go trip down some stairs kana
Anonymous asked:
u made my week with the update 😭🖤 i hate kana sfm lol
Anonymous asked:
kana suffering either way the story goes? I'm in -🦄
Anonymous asked:
kana n suna need to grow up lowkey it’s very highschool
Anonymous asked:
WHOEVER SENT THIS I AM CHOOSING VIOLENCE who's in, let's go beat kana-🦄
Anonymous asked:
hELL YEAAHH GET FUCKED KANA /neg
9 notes · View notes
roseworth · 3 years
Text
Only Fools Do What I Do
listen i know i said i wasnt going to make anything for today but i started thinking about this last night right before i fell asleep and i really wanted to make it :) 
word count: 2055
relationship: eugene/rapunzel
description: Right after Eugene "left" Rapunzel, they both need to come to terms with their separation and loss of hope. Rapunzel travels back to her tower, and Eugene is stuck in a prison cell. All they can do is think of each other and reflect on where they went wrong.
@autumn-ravenclaw @gleamful-lanterns for new dream appreciation week day 3- date (he calls the day they met a date so im counting it lol). 
title inspired by FOOLS by Troye Sivan
AO3
Rapunzel felt like an idiot.
Mother had told her that the world was cruel, yet she still had the nerve to be surprised. She should have known better. If she had never left her tower in the first place, she wouldn’t be hurting like this right now. It would have been better to just listen to what her Mother told her.
She could have given Eugene his satchel back as soon as she realized that he wasn’t after her hair. She could have even gone back on one of the many instances he tried to convince her to. She was stubborn and didn’t listen to anything but her own naive thoughts about the world.
And look where that got her.
She hadn’t slept all night. She and her Mother were traveling back to the tower after the disaster that was her trip outside. Mother had tried to tell her that he was just using her, but she refused to listen.
She realized she was still gripping tightly onto the small flag of the kingdom Eugene had bought her. She hid it away, making sure Mother wouldn’t see it and take it away from her. She just wanted one small reminder that it was real, that she really did leave her tower.
But was any of it real? Had he really been manipulating her that entire time?
The previous night at the campfire had felt genuine. She thought that they had truly connected. And they had spent the entire day in town together. That had easily been the best day of her life, and she knew she would keep that memory held in her heart forever. She just thought that he had felt the same way. Every time he had smiled at her and she felt her heart flutter, was that really all part of the ruse?
As she ran her thumb over the small piece of cloth she held in her hand, she tried to be angry at Eugene. Of course she should be mad. He had left her behind, and had told those ruffians about her hair. The memory of him sailing away, crown in hand, was burned into her mind. He had made her trust him just to betray that trust.
Mother told her that she shouldn’t have expected anything more from a conman, and maybe she was right. He never really cared about her, and he had sold her out at the first opportunity he got.
It just didn’t add up. He had the crown, she had given it to him. If that was all he was after, why tell the thugs about her hair? Did he really want to add salt to the wound that badly? Eugene wouldn’t do that. Or maybe he would. Apparently he had been lying to her the whole time, so she didn’t even know what he was really like.
Her mind wandered to their moment underneath the glow of the lanterns. 18 years of dreaming culminating into one perfect moment, and she spent it with him. She remembered everything he had said to her, and the way she felt alive, maybe for the first time, sitting near him and looking into his eyes.
She had misread the signals. Mother had told her time and time again that she was too naive to be in the world, and this was why. She had thought Eugene could really care about her, but it had all been a scam.
Just that thought made her eyes well up with tears. She tried to blink them away, but they were already quietly streaming down her face.
He never cared about her. All their time together had been a lie. Their time together at the campfire. Their day in town. Their almost-kiss under the lanterns. It had all been a part of his scheme to get the crown back.
Her Mother had stayed quiet their entire walk home. Rapunzel knew she was disappointed. Not only had she betrayed her Mother’s wishes, she had also forgotten everything Mother had ever told her about the world.
She tried to wipe away the tears that continued to fall down her face, but they wouldn’t stop. Every breath hurt to take. Every step felt like a mile. The grass she had been so excited to walk on now seemed like it was mocking her from under her feet.
The world was just as cruel as Mother had described, and she had fallen into its trap. She was stupid to believe she could be any different than what Mother had always told her she was.
When they finally arrived back at the tower, the sun was starting to peak up in the sky. Mother took a deep breath. “Here we are, safely home again!” she singsonged.
Home. The tower was the only home she had ever known, but it didn’t feel like home anymore. She had felt so at home with Eugene in just the span of a few days. Now that she was back at the tower, it felt distant and foreign. She couldn’t remember a time that she really felt happy inside the tower. At least not as happy as she had felt outside of it.
She took a shaky breath, wishing that she could stop crying. It felt like there was a hold in her chest as she remembered what the past few days had been. She was so happy. But none of it was real.
Her Mother groaned beside her. “Oh, please, Rapunzel, will you stop crying? It’s very unbecoming,” she berated. “Besides, you have no right to be upset. I told you what would happen, why are you surprised?”
Rapunzel sniffed and nodded, trying to brush away her tears yet again. “I’m sorry, Mother.”
Mother hummed in acceptance, then started leading her back towards the tower. “Come, come, My Flower, let’s get that dreadful braid out of your hair.”
-
Eugene felt like an idiot.
She was in danger right now, and it was all his fault. He should have known that the Stabbingtons wouldn’t be very accepting of his change in heart. If they hurt her, he was the reason why. She would have never gotten caught up in this mess if it weren’t for him.
He could have just thrown the satchel towards the Stabbingtons and left, not bothering to make conversation with them. Hell, he could have thrown the satchel into the water the second she tried to give it to him.
He should have at least told her where he was going. Now not only is she in danger, she thinks that he had given her up. Maybe he didn’t deserve for her to know the truth, though. No matter his intentions, it was his fault that she was at the hands of the Stabbingtons now. She had every right to hate him for that.
He hadn’t slept all night. Distantly, he realized his hand was stinging. He was pretty sure he had punched a wall in frustration earlier, but his mind was racing and everything that had happened since he had woken up tied to the boat was a blur. He had been pacing this tiny cell for hours trying to think of a solution. He couldn’t escape, not for lack of trying. He had wanted to pick the lock to get out and find her, but there were guards on every side of the corridor. He had no chance of getting out unseen.
He had even tried to talk to the guards and try to get them to let him go, but they refused to hear him. He honestly couldn’t blame them though. Saying that he needed to leave because the Stabbingtons had kidnapped a girl for her magic hair sounded a little bit crazy.
She didn’t deserve any of this. She was the best person he had ever met. She could light up the world just by smiling. She had just gotten to experience the world for the first time, and now she was going to be torn away from it. All because of him. 
There was no way for him to know where she was, or if she was okay. He hoped she was able to get away from the Stabbingtons, but he honestly doubted it. The Stabbingtons were not above hurting her to overpower her if she had something they wanted. And clearly, she did have something they wanted.
How did they even know? Were they following him the whole time? Maybe they had been there when she healed his hand and told him about her power. But if that was the case, why would they wait so long to reveal themselves? Surely it would have been easier to take them by surprise at the campsite.
Nothing was adding up, but his thoughts were too clouded to try to piece everything together. The only thing he could think about was the fact that Rapunzel was in danger and there was nothing he could do about it.
He wanted to take a breath, but his body wouldn’t let him. He just continued his nervous pacing back and forth as if that would help him come to a solution. He couldn’t stop imagining her, lost and hurt somewhere and wishing for some way out.
He hoped she was cursing his name right now. He hoped she was angry, wishing that she never met him. He hoped she hated him as much as he hated himself. Because he deserved for her to hate him, and he wouldn’t be able to live with himself if he thought that she didn’t hate him for everything he has done.
A lump started to build up in his throat. He tried to ignore it or swallow it away, but it was overwhelming all his senses. It had been years since he let himself cry, and he didn’t want to start now. But his face was heating up and the tears were making their way out.
All at once, it was like all the feelings he had kept at bay for all these years were flowing out of him. He cried because he was alone in this cell, he cried because she was in danger wherever she was, he cried because there was nothing he could do anymore. He had fucked up, and there was no turning back.
He tried to quell his sobs to no avail. The universe kept dealing out more blows, and his brain was screaming at him. Every decision he had made led to her getting taken by the Stabbingtons. If he hadn’t even started thieving 15 years ago, she would be safe and okay right now. It wasn’t fair that she was paying for his mistakes.
The tears rolled down his face and hit the dusty cell floor below him. His entire body was shaking, and all he wanted to do was scream and cry and curl up in a ball until everything was okay.
He couldn’t help her. He couldn’t do anything. He had been useless all his life, and the only good thing he had ever done was help her see the world outside that god awful tower, and even then she did most of that on her own. If anything, he had been a hindrance to her.
He furiously tried to rub his eyes to stop the tears that wouldn’t stop coming. Why couldn’t he have been better? Why didn’t he do more to stop the Stabbingtons?
One question had been running through his mind all night, and he had been chastising himself over and over. Why didn’t he kiss her when he got the chance?
That was the least of his worries, but the question was still haunting him. He would likely never get the chance again, and he had the opportunity to right there. It was the most simple mistake he made, and it might not have made a difference, but now he just has to live with the fact that he could have and he didn’t.
He was pulled out of his thoughts when he heard the door to his cell open. He turned to see the Captain standing in the doorway. “Let’s get this over with, Rider.”
“Where are we going?” he asked, though he was pretty sure he already knew the answer. The Captain’s silence confirmed his suspicions. “Oh.”
29 notes · View notes
getofy · 3 years
Text
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matchup: #1 - hq boy w/ an extroverted fem reader!
—a/n: wow im genuinely so sorry for taking so long. literally school is ruining my life and i also um,, haven’t been doing the best this past month. i really hope this makes up for it !! it’s kinda long so my bad...also this is NOT proofread lol i apologize if it sucks aaaa.
DISCLAIMER: while this is a personalized matchup, they’re still headcanons, so basically anyone can enjoy them! :]
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hello @/meremoomoo ! you are so cute and tysm for being patient about ur request. i debated who you would go well with for a while, but in the end i came up with...
SUGAWARA KŌSHI!
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-
#SUGA: “YOU’RE PERFECT JUST THE WAY YOU ARE!”
#Y/N: “THANK YOU KŌSHI :].”
-
☆ SUGA IS PERFECT FOR YOU, AND HERE IS WHY—
PERSONALITY TYPE:
suga has a personality type of INFJ, which compliments your ENFP personality type well.
“...you may benefit from perseverance in this relationship. your sensitive, sympathetic nature may at times overtake you, leading you to make decisions that feel right but are not really the wisest option. this person, whose approach seems so cold at times, can help you to tune into your powers of objective reasoning and ensure that you are not letting emotions rule your life.” —some website i found
while INFJs are not the most compatible with ESFPs, your other personality type, wonderful things can still come out of INFJ/ESFP dynamics! 
“your differences mean that you actually have a lot to offer one another. your counterpart may inspire you to slow down and think more deeply about the meaning of things, rather than just doing what feels right in the moment. in turn, you can help them to get out of their heads and enjoy life for what it is.” —some website i found
HOW YOU GUYS MET:
sugawara and you did not start off on the right foot at first...
the two of you were in the same class and sat very close to each other so he decided that he really wanted to get to know you.
he also just really likes becoming friends w/ people lol
since you were always laughing loudly with your friends during break time, he deduced that you had a good sense of humor.
he decided that jokes seemed like the right way to get to your heart win you over!
easy enough, right?
wrong.
apparently, he had caught you on a bad day because his attempts to be friendly were not received well. at all.
poor suga.
he does his best to be kind to everybody, but at the same time, he does love to poke fun at others. he probably took one of his jokes too far or something?
or maybe you really were just having a bad day?
who knows.
anyways, after that awkward encounter, he did his best to avoid you.
it’s not that he hated you, it’s just that he thought you hated him. it sort of bummed him out because you seemed cool, but he wanted to be respectful of your feelings!
*sorry it’s not enemies to lovers, but it’s close enough i hope ?
HOW HE DISCOVERED HE LIKED YOU:
the class had finished testing early, so the teacher decided to put on a movie.
AND FOR SOME UNKNOWN REASON THE MOVIE WAS OLD YELLER?!!?!?
(basically it’s just an incredibly depressing dog movie. like, if you’ve never seen it then just imagine the saddest movie you’ve ever seen 10x)
anyways, you ended up crying. very loudly.
sugawara was incredibly concerned for you, since you seemed to be genuinely distraught, but he didn’t say anything
eventually, the teacher caught on to your disarray and excused you from the room so you could go calm yourself down.
after some time, the teacher tells suga to go check up on you to make sure ur not dead or whatever lol (you were taking a while).
he was hesitant to do this since he knew you weren’t too fond of him, but suga decides to do it anyways since he didn’t want to be a disobedient student.
he finds you sitting on a bench with tears streaming down your face
and MAN!!
all at once, suga gets this overwhelming urge to make you feel better. but like, as in, he-never-wants-to-see-you-in-this-kind-of-state again-otherwise-he-might-breakdown kind of urse.
despite not being super close to you, he had gotten so used to your large smiles and extroverted demeanor, that watching you cry felt foreign to him.
he missed your smile.
he soon realizes that seeing you upset hurts him because he genuinely cares about your well-being.
so he decides to make it his personal mission to make you smile again.
suga takes the spot next to you voicelesslyand tries his best to talk you through your dismay.
you don’t seem to mind the company, and to his delight you don’t seem to hate him as much as he thought you did!!
suga is very grateful for this
anyways, he manages to cheer you up, and the tips of your lips turn up into a small grin—just like he wanted them to.
AND BOY OH BOY WHEN THEY DO!!
whew this man’s heart skips a BEAT baby and he is lowkey spiraling lol he’s so confused like why is this girl’s smile making me feel some type of way
he had been so focused on what you thought about him, but he had never once stopped to consider what he thought about you (until this very moment, of course).
turns out suga was incredibly fond of you
yeah, that’s how he knew.
suga brain go brr 4 pretti girl
HOW HE CONFESSES:
you two had been hanging out more frequently as of late
and getting to know you was only making suga‘s crush grow EXPONENTIALLY
after many nights spent in long contemplation, he came to the conclusion that it was time to ‘man-up’ and just rip off the band-aid that was being honest about his feelings.
he buys a single flower (tanaka’s advice) and waits by your locker
very very simple and sweet confession typa beat :(
literally SO nervous pls help . he’s scratching the back of his neck and holding the flower out to you with a slight twinge in his cheeks.
“y/n...i know you weren’t too fond of me at first, but i...i don’t know i think we’re great together! and now that we hang out and stuff i was thinking that maybe we could-“
yeah you cut the poor boy off and said yes to put him out of his misery.
literally verbally celebrates when you accept his flower. does a lil victory dance and everything.
ugh yall r so cute.
AFTER HE CONFESSES:
YOU GUYS GET TOGETHER INSTANTLY WOOOOOO
somehow the most wholesome and chaotic couple to ever exist???
you guys spend like every waking moment together it’s adorable
noya and tanaka would jokingly hit on you and suga would pretend to be actually jealous.
i hc him as being a somewhat possessive-y boyfriend so do w that what you will
total best friend kind of lover but he’s also a sweetheart and rlly romantic + respectful abt ur needs:(
y’all r super comfy w each other !!
WHAT HE LOVES ABOUT YOU:
sugawara is usually the kind of person that’s always there for other people so he appreciates the fact that you’re the same way! you guys bond over your shared therapist/mom-friend tendencies, and quickly become the support systems you so desperately needed prior to getting together.
he’s there to listen to you about your problems and vice versa.
he adores how you can meet and sometimes even exceed his energy. it’s a nice change of pace since he usually gets scolded by daichi. </3
thinks it’s cute how much you care for animals! you’ll often find him staring at you in wonder as you pet a random dog on the street lol.
MISC HEADCANONS:
will spend hours on end watching you play video games on FaceTime. after a while, he ended up buying his own console and now you guys play together!
he’s fairly competitive, and will whine whenever you destroy beat him in a game!
he’s so cute pls
one of his favorite things to do after a long day is sit and play slower paced games such as minecraft and animal crossing with you.
whether it’s about your fav historical monument or about a new show you saw, suga will listen to you talk for hours and never get bored. usually he’s always got something to add to the convo though. sometimes you guys get overly excited together and end up speaking over each other in the same way.!
is INCREDIBLE at getting you to calm down?? like, if you ever need to be put in your place, suga knows exactly what to say to do it. does this make sense? lol. you guys have big ying and yang energy sometimes i feel.
you’re his BIGGEST supporter. whenever he’s put into games, you’re always the LOUDEST one cheering him one.
it really touches him to know that you’ll always be there to root for him!! even mr.refreshing gets down sometimes, so it’s incredible to have someone as positive as you by his side constantly reassuring him.
he’s a big animal person as well so you guys like going to volunteer at shelters together!
this was actually your second date HAHA.
if a dog is within a 40 ft radius from y’all, it is almost guaranteed that you guys will sprint to go pet them.
since you’re both athletic, you guys help each other practice sports together! suga’ll throw u soft toss and help you run drills and hype u up before games. & you’ll help him work on his technique and such <33.
y’all totally gossip together wow. you said you were a bit on the meaner side of the spectrum and lowkey he doesn’t mind AT ALL. he lives for it HAHAHAHA.
he literally thinks you’re stunning so it upsets him whenever you get insecure, but he’s always got the right thing to say to cheer you up! genuinely just,,,, so good with his words. if you’re having a bad night, he’s ready to come to your rescue with a gentle smile and funny one-liner and maybe a documentary if you’re lucky enough.
in his eyes, everything about you is beautiful. your hair. your freckles. your body. your laugh. your smile. everything!! he’s going to do whatever it takes for you to love yourself in the same way he loves you.
this man so whipped smh 🙄🙄
tl;dr: suga thinks you hate him. you don’t. you start hanging out. he confesses to you by the lockers. you start dating. you are infinitely better at gaming than he is and will never let him forget it.
YOUR ANTHEMS (in no particular order):
darling by christian leave
pleasantries (with your lover) by mustard service
upside down by jack johnson
sunflower, vol.6 by harry styles
what do you like in me? by nasty cherry
MOODBOARD:
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pic 1 | pic 2 | pic 3 | pic 4
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—CONGRATS! YOU’VE WON THE HEART OF ONE OF THE PRETTIEST SETTERS ON THE BLOCK. TREAT HIM WELL! ☆
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*do not repost my work without proper credit and my explicit premission
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apocalypticgargoyle · 3 years
Text
Hello everyone! (This is kind of long and Im so sorry for that. It's also super late for me too so I apologize if there are a bunch of errors.)
I've come back to numerous asks ranging from intense messages to helpful content.
Instead of posting all 46, I figured I would sum up the majority for all of you with my reactions:
- many of you have been rather uplifting and I appreciate your support, that being said I do not view anything that has been said as hate. everything that has been brought up I am using as insight, advice, and genuine reactions, but thank you to everyone for defending me
- some of you have discussed how I have never answered you, something which I am deeply sorry for and I promise you was not intentional. that being said, if your anon requests were attached to a fic request, more than likely I still have your ask but haven't answered because I plan on fulfilling the request. your anon should still be listed in the anon list (you can find the link on my masterlist and if you still don't see it, PLEASE let me know)
- a lot of you have expressed discomfort with some of my content. im very sorry for this, and (respectfully) I would like to remind everyone that I intentionally tag all of my content in such a way that those tags can be blogged. im very very sorry if you are still seeing things you don't want to see, please let me know if I need to incorporate another tag for other content
- some of you have called me a hypocrite and a gaslighter. im not sure how to respond to this because I guess I can't wrap my brain completely around this and that's my problem that I need to work on. im so sorry if I've been gatekeeping content or if I have been blocking some anons from each other. im sorry if I have been inserting myself into other people's problems. im so sorry if I have made anyone feel invaluable or underappreciated
Moving forward I would like to say that I'm so sorry about all of this. I had a lot of time to think on my shift and part of me wanted to tell everyone that I have a life too and I'm only human. But the rest of me realized that I am your admin and I need to work harder and do better for all of you. I set out to create this blog as a type of haven for everyone, somewhere where people could share their thoughts, ideas, personalities, etc and in the process I've only become another one of those blogs and I am so very sorry.
I really appreciate all of you who came forward to tell me how you were feeling. It takes a lot of courage to do that and if I were in your shoes, I don't think I could. So I commend you and I appreciate everything you all have said. I'm sorry if it seemed like I didn't.
This is the first time I've ever had a blog this big and with so many amazing people. I've never had this kind of feedback and this kind of attention from anyone and I really appreciate all of you and everything you guys have done for this blog.
If I'm being honest, it's kind of disheartening to hear that so many of you have felt left out. It's also kind of disheartening because a lot of you don't even want me to interact anymore so I don't know where that leaves this blog.
Moving forward, I'm going to do what I can to be more inclusive and allow more interactions between anons. Please don't feel the need to include me anymore if you are just here for a certain anon it etc /gen. I-- at the risk of sound like a narcissist, I will still interact when content is directed to me, only because I think I deserve that? At the end of the day, I did make this for my friend and through that process I've made more friends so... If it's okay I would still like to participate sometimes... /lh
Please continue to tell me how you feel and how I can do better. Please tell me about yourself and about what you're into. Tell me anything at all. I will listen to you.
Today has kind of been overwhelming with all of this, and I'm sorry if I'm making this all about me but I feel... kind of gross and I think I need to step back for a bit. This is not because of the anons telling me how they are feeling, this is mainly about those targeting my appearance and my personality and told me that I can't use my blog the way I wanted. I just have a lot to think about and idk. I'm really sorry.
But thank you to the people who have supported me and those who have spoken up. I appreciate all of you and all of you are valid.
Please take care of yourselves everyone, I love you all and I wish you a good night's rest/a great day.
xx Grayce/Gene
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soracities · 4 years
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hi! my heart is broken, and has been for over a year now. everytime i see a new post in your notes from elsewhere tag i get excited. in one particular you wrote ab how even if it feels like uve lost smt, u haven’t- and that resonated so deeply w me. i’m still healing from my first love. it wasn’t a healthy love. the entire time we never truly understood each other, but it was love nonetheless. sometimes, i feel overwhelmed with how much i wish for us to find individual happiness (1-2)
but other times i feel incredibly selfish and i want to haunt her. i want to be in her future. im struggling to let it go, even as i want to wish her love without me. your words have already helped me in the past, but if you have any advice about how to let go and move on, id sincerely appreciate it. regardless, thank you. (2-2)
I think the only thing I can tell you here is that you need to take some time to try and understand what it is inside you that needs her to remember you and be haunted by you so badly. What does that confirm for you, not necessarily about her, but about yourself? And what part of yourself is it that you will feel you will lose by letting it all go?
I think it’s natural to mourn the end of a relationship even when you know it wasn’t the healthiest for you at the time, but it might also help to consider that what you’re mourning might have just as much, or maybe even more, to do with the emotions and the love you felt and the promise that it opened up for you, more so than the person themselves. I think an important question to ask yourself is do you have difficulty moving on because you genuinely want her back in your life, or because you want to go back to the love? Because having that love fulfilled something or validated something for you, or proved to you that yes, this can happen to me — someone can feel this for me, and I am a good and worthy person now because someone can feel this for me. And if that is the case then it can often feel, when that love is gone, that everything that made us worthy of that love is gone too — we don’t belong any more, or we are not worthy any more, because the thing and the person we thought made us worthy isn’t there to prove it to us. 
And so I think that you also need to ask yourself if you’re holding onto something just to avoid dealing with the reality that what must have been such an important experience and relationship in your life is truly over — that actually letting it go will make it all very, very (and sometimes scarily, which is natural and okay) real. Because as long as you do hold on to it, it will never truly be real, no matter how much you may think it is — it’s real but only in the sense that you feel a story is real as you read it or a film is real as you watch it; it’s become just a little like something that has happened to someone else, a different you who is not the you here right now, and it is this you that you need to focus on take care of if you want to be able to slowly move on and heal a little better. Maybe you’re scared that you will lose a vital part of yourself by letting it all go (which isn’t true, I promise; selves don’t get lost — they grow and change and take on new shapes, new colours, new directions). Maybe you’re scared there will be nothing after that love, no matter how unhealthy it was, except a big vast empty space that nothing and no one will ever fill (also not true. I promise you, again). Maybe you’re scared that you will be left alone through it all and these memories and hopes are the only way of keeping warm and having some kind of company to wrap yourself in — only you will know the answer to these, lovely.
First loves are always so endlessly painful, but everyone moves through these things differently and there isn’t a way to do it right — but you have to allow yourself the full spectrum of emotions. It is a messy process but sometimes it needs to be. It’s wonderful that you want her to be happy and I don’t doubt the sincerity of any of this in any way — but you also have to make sure that you’re not using that as a way of deflecting the more negative emotions because you don’t want to seem like a bad or heartless person or just want to move on as soon as possible — all that will do is increase the hurt and make it last longer. You can be upset and want the best for her at the same time, you can have loved someone deeply and be angry at how it ended; it’s not a matter of one or the other. But you have to let each stage run its course in the healthiest way you can, and lean on the people close to you when you need to, otherwise all you will get is a lot of pain and resentment, often without realising it, that has no place to go. So please, if you haven’t already, grieve, get mad, get hurt, cry until you no longer can. Don’t deny yourself a feeling just because it doesn’t seem gracious or mature. It’s a feeling that is there for a reason, and you need to figure out why before you can move on properly.  
And on this, it may also be a good idea to see if you can reach out to a professional to help you in a far more concrete way, especially if it’s been more than a year of you struggling to get through this. I don’t know you personally so as always there’s a limit to what I can really say and I don’t want to make presumptions, but it does seem to me that there is something deeper that is making it difficult for you to truly let go because holding on to it might be your way, whether subconsciously or not, of trying to compensate for something you may be worried or scared about. I don’t know what that could be, and it’s not my place nor am I qualified in any way to address that — it’s something a therapist or a counsellor would be far better placed to help you with and I really think you should try, in whatever you can and is feasible for you, to try and reach out to one and see where that can take you. They can give you far more clarity in this than I can.
I’m sorry I can’t be more help, lovely, and I’m so sorry you’re going through so much, but please know I really do wish you all the best through this. You will, one way or another, even if it doesn’t seem like this now, get through this and come out so much stronger ♡
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