#am i being selfish

[killbenedictcumberbatchagain]

.

#were you going to k*** me #what was that #what are you doing now #idk if you have my S8 but Someone fucking does and was silly enough to use it to access my fb #like #who are these ppl copying the ppl i know #why do all these different false links conveniently point to the legitimate source #why am i not allowed to talk about it #why is everyone acting this way and why did you vanish #just #god i want you to be Something resembling Real #i know you were trying to “help” #god i Know this is off and I'm sick of being deceived #i thought you were my friend #i thought you needed me #you said that #and Im like crazy but we are both kinda unhinged #am i being selfish #was i stupid to become this exposed #this is so upsetting like why do i keep running into more roadblocks #why are pretending everything is fine and that this is a life worth living #no one absolutely NO ONE would switch places with me given what i know #everyone wants to protect me and 'help me grow' but i can't even speak or think for myself #why do i allow this to be my life #you have to carr #right? #all this time could not point to you not caring #Right??

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

finally at that age where i'm thinking i should get a tattoo. not bc i feel strongly about it, just seems like a waste not to. i've got so much skin i'm not using

#feels so selfish like. all this skin what am i saving it for? #open to design suggestions! (please make me regret this offer) #maybe some deep sea horrors. a pretty watercolor of a gulper eel #once saw a person on the subway with various Skeleton Tattoos on all their limbs #i respected their commitment to the theme #but more than that i respected how all the skeletons were engaged in Activities #dancing in a ballgown. juggling its own (and two other???) skulls. swordfighting. being a mermaid skeleton #ANYWAY. the only reason i haven't already gotten tattoos is i just couldn't be bothered #i'm old enough to know i don't have any strong-but-potentially-temporary feelings driving me towards it #aesthetically i prefer decorated to non-decorated surfaces. but i'm not artistic or thrilled with commitment #honestly it feels like sheer laziness. indecisiveness--nay. immaturity!--that i HAVEN'T gotten a tattoo yet #letting all this blank canvas go to waste. tut tut i need to grow up and be an adult and get a tattoo sleeve already. #really i've put off my responsibilities long enough #(in fairness i DID at one time have 18 different piercings) #(but i took most of them out bc they interfere with wearing headphones and/or shoving my face in my pillow during Sleep Time) #(i only kept the nape piercing bc oddly enough it ended up being the most convenient. and the least painful to get now i think about it.) #(neck piercing? no problem. normal pair of earrings? Tribulations And Suffering. i don't make the rules i just poke them with a stick.)

[fairuzfan]

Palestinians are blamed for not being kind enough to their occupiers again and again. For not using the right words to describe them. And then they turn around and try to preach politics to us, how we're "oversimplifying" things. I promise you — we know how the system works better than you do. That is why it is all of our dreams to change it. To continue to play in this system is acceptance of the occupier's logic and practices. We will not accept such a thing because their goals are antithetical to our lives. Do not fall for their propaganda — their goal is to obfuscate the truth with half truths and incomparable circumstances.

#40+ days of my peoples genocide being broadcasted on live tv. #palestine #gaza #i am so exhausted #and yet they make it about themselves #i cannot understand how selfish you have to be to make it about yourself #when 75+ years of occupation have occurred #these same people will not spare a breath to share palestinian voices #unless you can unequivocally can say 'land back' then you are not an ally

[luntian-berdengguhit]

.

#sacrificing my own happiness for others #in the end when I find them happy #it's all worth it for me #i guess #all I want is for them to be happy #and am glad I can do that for them #am I being selfish

[wilsonsmcgillsweatshirt]

"Deep inside, Wilson believes that if he cares enough, he'll never have to die."

What the fuck were the House writers on

#how am i supposed to live laugh love in these conditions #this quote is attempted murder #i cant live like this #This also puts the scene were Wilson tells House he wishes he was more of an asshole into perspective #“i wish i had been more a selfish jerk” “youd still have cancer” “atleast id feel like i deserved it” #because wilson spent his whole life helping people because some part of him genuinely believed that he would live a very long good life #as long as he was doing good and helping people #but in the end none of it mattered and in his mind he wasted his entire life being overly good when he couldve just lived how he wanted #because in the end it didnt make any difference #brb sobbing #thats why when people act like wilson is the devil for saying that to house i lose 5 years of my life #house md #house #greg house #james wilson #gregory house #hilson #hate crimes md #hatecrimes md #wilson #housemd

[doverstar]

to be clear, I think Rose Tyler being an often-selfish character is great. I think it's great because real women are selfish. Real women get petty. Real women hear their ex boyfriend say he's going out with a mutual acquaintance and get unfairly jealous and real women then say things like "she's a bit big" when they shouldn't and they have no right. Real women can be monsters, and Rose Tyler is relatable and I love how she is written and I love her, thanks for listening

#Rose Tyler is so imperfect #she is SO FLAWED and sometimes you get mad at her and that's exactly how all characters should be written #she is compassionate and she is loyal and she is SELF*LESS* to a FAULT sometimes #but she is ALSO selfish #gloriously human #she's SUPPOSED to be the most ordinary girl in the world and you know what? ordinary girls are jerks #I would know. I AM one #write more ordinary girls Doctor Who writers #write them please I'll be your best friend #dw #doctor who #rose tyler #rose marion tyler #whovian #text post #doverstar's thoughts #listen this is not to say that I think being jealous and angry and petty and rude and selfish is GOOD #I'm saying it's good writing to portray FLAWS #because those are FLAWS and people should not be content to be that way #this is not Turning Red

[sammygender]

thinking about dean growing up and putting everything before himself. hunting and his brother and his dad and his dad’s revenge quest for their mom. he doesn’t matter. he is entirely irrelevant. thinking about dean internalising this as just what you do, just how people behave and how they should behave. him viewing selfish as the worst thing you can possibly be.

then thinking about sam growing up and fighting. brave enough to challenge their father and rebel against him and voice something different, brave enough to focus on what he wants. dean seeing this and it stings - he could never do that. how is sam acting like that? he can��t believe that’s the right way to behave. so sam must be selfish, just in believing he has any right to his own life.

dean sublimates himself for the family and expects sam to do the fame, and his resentment and jealousy that sam doesn’t turns into anger and making sam out to be the mean one, the one in the wrong. and this never goes away. this is always what dean levels at sam - that he’s selfish, that in wanting to make his own choices he’s rejecting their family, rejecting dean……. awful. toxic. evil evil message to send to sam. entirely in character. dean wants to prioritise sam, would save him over the world. but he doesn’t care what sam wants.

selflessness isn’t always a charming character trait. it’s not the same thing as a generosity of spirit and it’s definitely not the same thing as being caring. sometimes selflessness just means you’re incapable of prioritising your life and incapable of understanding how anyone else could or should prioritise theirs. sometimes it means you still act selfishly, you just convince yourself you were objectively in the right, because doing something actually for yourself is unthinkable. sometimes it means you think the very act of having wants and boundaries is selfish, no matter whether they’re yours or anyone else’s.

anyway… thoughts on dean’s specific brand of awfulness regarding sam. what does it matter to him what sam actually wants? since when did it ever matter in the winchester household what anyone wanted? dean had to deal with things he didn’t want for the mission (for john). sam has to deal with things he doesn’t want for the mission (for dean). augh. the cycles

#& what do they get for that? sam gets punished repeatedly for being brave and attempting to have any sense of agency #it’s taken from him repeatedly by everyone around him. hes violated in every possible way. him wanting his own life is framed as selfishness #i can’t stop thinking abt this. Am i dean winchester am i on the pathway to becoming him #it makes so much sense now. of course sam is everything to me. i always always latch onto characters who fight who try to say fuck you i am #worth something. and that’s what sam tried to do. it just didn’t work. the story wears him down too much. augh. #the story + his abused/abusive brother #spn is a horror story #dean winchester #this is written with love but it is very much hashtag dean critical #spn #meta #supernatural #sam winchester #spn meta

[trainwreckgenerator]

ok i KNOW this is an insane topic to make a tierlist about but i was thinking about milsiril again so. dungeon meshi characters ranked by how pro-euthanasia i think they are

clarifications:

"pro-murder" here doesnt necessarily mean "likes killing". this chart is about how each character views the ethical ramifications of taking a human life, and some of the people in "pro-murder" are there because they would kill someone outside of a combat situation if they thought it would have a greater benefit, such as saving the lives of many others. the rest of them (like thistle, cithis, and the orcs) are there because they are ready to kill whenever to get whatever they want, which is a very different ethical stance but still fits in the same category for the purpose of the chart.

"pro-euthanasia" means having no qualms over killing something/someone if there is an absolute certainty that the individual will never be able to regain a livable quality of life. this is the only category outside of, uh, murder, that doesn't necessarily require consent for the euthanasia to be carried out.

"it's an option" characters would perform euthanasia if asked, or would otherwise condone consensual euthanasia.

"only in the most extreme" characters would only consider the option as an absolute last resort, once every other possibility had been exhausted. these characters would keep someone alive against their wishes to try to save them.

"absolutely against it" characters would never under any circumstances kill someone they didn't want dead. they would sooner let them bleed out or otherwise suffer against their wishes than perform requested euthanasia, and would protest the performance of consensual euthanasia by others.

#this felt like a necessary thing to think about in a story where life-taking and personal autonomy are central topics #i realize the fact that i made this chart makes me come off like im in the pragmatist category so i wanna clarify #im actually squarely in ''only extremes'' because i am selfish and a coward 👍 #anyway. milsiril would be a deeply cloying palliative care nurse in the modern au i got rattling around. #alsoooo pro-murder ended up being the largest category sdkjf....major consequence of being in a swords & sorcery setting #rambles #dungeon meshi #omg i just realized i separated mickbell and kuro NOOOO i tried to group characters by party but :(

[grumpysunfish]

Can we like. Stop projecting modern day western class discussions into mdzs. Or better yet stop talking about class altogether since so many of you are clearly ill prepared for it.

I love mdzs for how complicated and different it is from what I'm used to and seeing all of that get whittled down into the same old tired money/power = bad when it is so much more than that. It's a completely different system and culture. Western capitalist critiques isn't going to cut it people.

#jiang cheng #mdzs #This applies to many more character but I am the most familiar with his brand of discourse #I am completely in wei wuxian's side regarding saving the wens #Although I think he could have handled that way better #But if jiang cheng chose to save the wens at the risk of yunmeng jiang. I would not have been at his side #Jiang cheng's decision doesn't just affect him #it affects a whole sect #People depending on him #Why is this so hard to understand? Why is jiang cheng selfish for choosing to protect the people under him? #Shockers. Being responsible for a large group of people means there are thing you just can't do even if it is the right thing #Reputation is in fact important. Isn't mdzs partly about that? Isn't that one of the things that killed wei wuxian? #Anyways I love you characters straining under the weight of their duties and responsibilities #They can never make me hate you #meta analysis

[offkilterkeys]

i imagine you have a vault of unreleased content that you don't get around to posting for relatable reasons. if you do i humbly ask that you grace me with something. anything! close your eyes and pick a file? let fate decide. if you made it i'll like it, that's the point anyway

I’ve posted some panels or pieces of these but never the entire sequence on here I don’t think, so but this is one of the only substantial things I’d say I’ve kept in a vault.

I feel like compared to my newer stuff these look super rough, but they were really good practice.

These have pesterlogs that go with them but this post is already huge so eh. This was set to occur a couple hours after Caliborn’s masterpiece, so Roxy and Dirk are talking about Halquius’s heroic sacrifice/death. Davepeta and Dirk continue that line of conversation, while Roxy is pulled into an argument about self control as I bum everyone out by reminding them that Jasprose never actual stopped being an alcoholic.

#homestuck #rose lalonde #roxy lalonde #jasprosesprite^2 #davepetasprite #dirk strider #and Roxy was gonna bring it up cause she think he’s being weird for doing that #This was mostly just me messing around with the sprite^2s and fleshing them out #Also expanding upon Jasprose and Rose’s relationship cause I think it could be sooooo silly #anyway the last Jasprose panel intentionally looks like the scene in trickster mode where Dirk scolds Roxy for getting Drunk #Jasprose is all “you just hate me cause I remind you of mom #and Rose is like “No I hate you because you’re literally a worse #less articulate #horrifically selfish #version of me!” #Dirk asks Davepeta if they want a hug #cause of the whole brother/moirail death #and to both of their surprise they say no #that’s why they fist bump #The Lalonde’s conversation is left on a cliffhanger while Dirk dips out in order to do some soul searching #also the sprites not glowing anymore was a conscious decision #it’s meant to imply that now that they’re out of the medium they’re slowly losing their game construct-ness #also also Dirk’s house being in the middle of the ocean was a conscious decision #he put it there even though everyone else used Jade’s powers to have their houses move from their planets to Can Town #Roxy brings it up before they’re interrupted #anyway sorry for using this ask as an excuse to share old content I am just always brainrotting

[fazgoo-connoiseur-1987]

Henry's whole deal to me is that he is selfish in his inaction, his self preservation, his desire for closure. His self hatred is all consuming in such a way that it harms those around him but he is so consumed by his own misery he does not recognise their suffering. His anger at himself, William and the world animates him but also gnaws at every inch of his being like a virus. Spreds from him into the world. Seeps and harms and burns the way Will's actions burned him.

#henry being just as terrible as bill but in the opposite way is important #cough i may project my worst fears as a mentally ill person onto hen cough #anxity and self hatred are ultimatly a selfish thing to me #obvs mentally ill people cannot help that i am in that boat i understand #but also the idea that everyone is looking at you that you are the worst thing to ever exist is a selfish thought in a bad way #because you are not #your closure for your mistakes isnt everything ME i mean henry fnaf #cough #fnaf #five nights at freddy's #henry emily #yelling about the bear #mental illness #idk how to tag this its mostly the notes im being weird with bear with me #haha #bear

[bookinit02]

genuinely i think if i have to see taylor swift’s name one more time i’m going to start breaking things.

#i liked her casually as a kid #and i still like a lot of her music now #but i can barely even fucking listen to it anymore bc she is EVERYWHERE #like literally i don’t care about her and i don’t care about travis whoever #and i don’t even care about her in a negative way like i don’t care if she’s selfish and narcissistic and a performative activist #and her jet emissions or whatever #bc literally 90% of celebrities are like that she’s not special #i am just so tired. of people ALWAYS talking about her #and being expected to have an opinion and be up to date with whatever meaningless drama is going on #genuinely no hate to my friends that like taylor bc i don’t mind that #it is more just like. Everywhere #i cant even go on tiktok without seeing her name 300 times i cant DO THISSS #ok. rant over. 😭

[ecoamerica]

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[scruncheduppaper]

tf2 shitposting again

#tf2 scout #tf2 spy #team fortress 2 #tf2 #tf2 fanart #tryna figure out how to draw him properly #i still havent drawn engie yet? idk why #procrastination is the name of the game #i came up with this before i found out that apparently the majority of the tf2 fandom are NOT spy fans #or #at least thats what ive seen #i mean like as in being attracted to him #i mean. idk #judging from the polls #i am definitely a spy fan #hes an arrogant selfish old man #but hes kind at heart #and thats all that matters to me #im still no. 1 sniperspy fan btw #working on. a fic as we speak #i WILL push forward #feeling extremely self conscious abt my art i did this in 10 minutes sorry its bad

[zer0point5ive]

adam who knows the door is wide open, knows he could leave at any point, knows that lawrence wouldn’t stop him, couldn’t stop him and yet. and yet .. adam who looks at the fresh crimson stain on lawrence’s shirt collar, the red beneath his nails he hasn’t quite managed to scrub away yet and wonders if there’s any universe in which he’d run to the cops, to anyone. adam who knows there isn’t. lawrence wouldn’t stop him but adam wouldn’t run. adam who despises everything jigsaw stands for, tells lawrence as much, tells lawrence that he’s gonna be the first to dance on that bastards grave when he finally kicks it but who still stays with lawrence. despite it all. because he’s lawrence, because he’s adam’s. because they’re so inextricably intertwined that not having lawrence around now would kill him as surely as reaching inside and pulling out his own beating heart. he’s everywhere and he’s everything, living in the spaces between adam’s ribs and wrapped around his brain like a live wire. running would be suicide and besides, adam’s not gonna let him go, can’t. not now. adam who would absolve lawrence of just about anything as long as he’s by his side, as long as he keeps coming back, as long as he switches the light on when he gets home and cups adam’s face oh so gently in bloodstained hands

#lawrence who wishes he would. just a little #lawrence who looks at the smear of blood he leaves on adams cheekbone and asks why #adam who just shrugs and says ‘because’ which is simultaneously not enough & too much #youll never recover from that kind of devotion or whatever man who even cares. sound of me crying #thinking about codependent chainshipping in a way that feels like digging my own grave #i need to walk around for awhile #sorry adam being given a flashing neon sign that says exit here nd choosing to ignore it because lawrence isnt on the other side oh i am #Soo normal #its about being selfish in the most self destructive way possible #how can i make this about dog adam devoted to the point of no return #nevermind i already did apparently #chainshipping #adam faulkner stanheight #lawrence gordon #📹

[revvethasmythh]

An idle thought, really, but I think it's interesting to see fandom latch on the metaphorical interpretation of things like Laudna's relationship with Delilah as a metaphor for addiction or Imogen's psychic powers as a metaphor for either chronic pain or queerness, but there's much less attachment to or discussion of the characters who explicitly, canonically dealt with exactly those things. By which I mean Scanlan's substance abuse, Veth's alcoholism, and even Ashton's chronic pain (which feels like it was discussed much more before it was confirmed canon, and seems to be brought up mostly just as ship fodder these days). I suppose one could argue the devotion to the metaphorical interpretations lies in the fact that it's an interpretation of canon as opposed to being explicitly so, meaning there's more wiggle room to project a personal interpretation onto it. Explicit canon is more concrete, less malleable to the individual viewer. Still, if we're going to talk about addiction now in a metaphorical sense via Laudna, it leads me to wonder if we will see further discussion of the characters who explicitly dealt with addiction (Veth and Scanlan), as opposed to Laudna's purported allegorical version of it

#take this with a grain of salt because I was not directly involved in the fandom when major things re: veth and scanlan's #substance abuse issues were ongoing for the most part #so if there WAS a wider discussion of this that has happened in fandom I might just not know about it #that said in my experience it has not come up much at all #so even if there was discussion you rarely see it come up in the ongoing reception of the characters #which may just be an effect of WHO those specific characters are #i.e. two consecutive sam pcs (explicitly) vs now a marisha pc (in the metaphorical sense) #because I am familiar with scanlan often being called unfair and veth often being called selfish #but re: laudna many of her decisions (see: killing bor'dor) have the blame shunted onto other characters (orym) to absolve her #of having made those decisions to begin with #neither veth nor scanlan have ever been shown that kind of leniency in the fandom that I know of #particularly as it pertains to their very real struggles with addiction #ANYWAY this is not going into the maintag lol. lmao even #like am I fan of the comparison to addiction? eh. it doesn't quite feel like it fits. like it's not a perfect comparison #but like I'll play ball with it a little I guess since it's been brought up in canon

[dailykugisaki]

Day 160 | id in alt

I think I'm tweaking.

#dailykugisaki #jjk #kugisaki nobara #zenin maki #BRO I AM SO SLEEPY I CANT REMOTELY TYPE RN BUT IMMA POWER THROUGH THIS #WE WIN THESE WE WIN THESEEEE #Maki is so ass at actually weaving words together she just says shit without filtering it properly because she really doesn't like doing so #you're getting the brunt of it because shes tired of confining and not being selfish #Kugisaki calls her out on her shit speech sometimes it's funny