#and (2) it's been ten years since i last watched the 2012 show and i only watched the first season or so | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

the-cat-and-the-birdie · 8 months

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Small fun fact about me:

My mom is neurodivergent too! And not only that, but

Me and my mom share a special interest.

[A short post about me, my mom, hyperfixations, and how acceptance can help you grow]

For the last ten years, both me and my mother have had a hyperfixation on Marvel movies and Superhero movies in general.

And if anything, she's more fixated than I am.

This started at the same time, despite my mother never picking up a comic in her life. It happened when we first saw the Avengers in theatres in 2012.

Since then me and my mother have seen every Marvel movie on the day of release, or even a day before release.

When I was in high school, I remember her specifically pulling me out of school early to take me to the marathon premiere of Thor 2 and The Winter Soldier.

She's seen every Marvel media to date outside of the Netflix series. She's already finished Secret Invasion.

In recent years, we've gotten Unlimited movie memberships, and because we live in NY we can often see movies the Thursday before the Friday release, so we go to the movies almost twice a month, and we see movies repeatedly.

I saw ATSV three times in theatres while she saw it twice, and saw GOTG a second or third time. We recently saw Blue Beetle the day or two after release. She keeps me CONSISTENT.

The reason why I theorize about Marvel media and Spider-man media is largely because of her.

For years she was the one I theorized with. I've spoken to her about whether or not Peter set Miles up (she isn't convinced), or argue with her about whether or not Khonsu from Moon Knight is cool (he is).

She watches more Marvel fan content than me and inhales all the essays, reacts, and Easter egg videos on YouTube.

She's the same with recent Star Wars, she's seen Andor and Boba Fett and the Mandalorian, and currently working her way through Asoka.

And she knew about my past fixation on Loki in specific. She even knows about Hobie and Diane.

I told her I want to go to NY ComicCon as my spidersona and she was like "... You'd have to work on your roller skating" and I was SHOOK she remembered that about Diane because she's right.

But yeah, we've always been REALLY REALLY close over marvel stuff, and it's amazing having a parent who has the same fixation as you. It's like a natural thing, and I can speak openly about my theories or interests and she'll be like 'Oh yeah I noticed that incredibly niche moment where Hobie did that one specific thing, what of it'

I'm never treated weird for my fixation. Cause hers is stronger. I told her I didn't want to see GOTG again and she was like HUH and I was so heartbroken that I went and saw it anyway 😭😭

Some of my favorite moments with my mom are in movies theatres. And because we share this niche interest and neurodivergency, we're able to have these in-depth conversations about these characters we've formed bonds to together.

When Loki the show came out we'd been waiting literal years for it - like literally since 2013 talking about it. And I had a lot of mixed feelings about it.

But I could talk about those feelings and thoughts and characterizations with someone I know wouldn't ostracize me, knows the material as well as I do - if not more, and cares about these characters.

Because of that, my theorizing skills were able to grow all throughout my teenage years.

Because my hyperfixation was nurtured instead of demonized.

And I just think that's SO COOL.

Just wanted to share. Here's a photo of Miguel because I hate consistency [this is a hobie household]

Bye.

#neurodivergent #neurodivergency #neurodiversity #adhd #autism #actuallyautistic #actuallyadhd #hyperfixations #special interests #autistic experiences #spiderman #marvel #atsv #across the spiderverse

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trashboatprince · 4 months

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As is tradition since I think I started this account in 2012, I tend to do a post about all the more interesting things that happened in the year and what I hope happens in the next so...

Yeah.

Here we go.

Met David Tennant and got not only my photo taken with him and his signature, but I also got three hugs from him. He is a very lovely man, and gosh is he pretty in person. <3

Met Rhys Darby in person and made him burst out laughing when I told him I recognized him as the freaking Pistachio King from Milo Murphy's Law. He wasn't expecting that role of all things.

Last day of my trip for the con I discovered a lump on my chest that really hurt and for two and a half months I was stuck in a constant state of anxiety because they thought it was inflammatory breast cancer. Turns out it was just a really bad infection that had very similar symptoms.

Lost our oldest dog in October :(

My mom did get a pug puppy a few months beforehand tho, as she had been wanting a pug for years

Had probably one of the most absolutely obnoxious family reunions this year, but was able to go up into the mountains and had a lovely time in nature. And I got to pick huckleberries, which I've never done before. That was nice.

Went to Colorado and sat the Monsters of Metal tour's last show there, with Mastodon (third time seeing them) and Gojira (first time seeing them)

Had a fucking experience listening to The Chant live at that showing and it was just... impossible to describe. It was beautiful.

Went to the Devil's Tower on the way to Colorado, it was pretty dang cool. Lots of alien shit everywhere, the area really loves to play up on that. Also went to the Denver Zoo and Meow Wolf, both of which were delightful. :D

Went to my little brother's high school graduation, cannot believe he's out of high school.

Experienced season two of Good Omens and am still recovering.

I was there when EVERY happened, in just ten minutes it was known and then quickly NO LONGER SPOKEN ABOUT. That was a fun hour of panic from the fandom. :)

Watched OFMD season 2 and... eh.

Watched all four of the new Doctor Who specials when they dropped and now Fourteen and Fifteen are my favorite Doctors. I love them.

Had probably some of the most stressful months I've ever had with my job because we were down to just three people for a staff that is meant to run a home that is 24/7. I'm still dealing with the stress from it even after we got more people hired. My paychecks were beautiful tho, so much overtime...

Apparently I got a stress fracture on Thanksgiving, happened in my sleep. I should be out of the boot officially next week.

Participated in a David Tennant-themed zine

Absolutely dumb thing to add, but my mom got me a DT cutout who now lives in my room. He's wearing a paper crown from a Christmas cracker because he's a king Plans for the next year:

Going to see Hozier in August

Probably going to go back to Colorado, I want to see the aquarium

Going to ECCC for the third year in a row, going to get Jodie Whitaker's autograph

Hopefully I'll get to see my girlfriend again

Hopefully I'll get to finally see my best friends irl (We need to plan this better, guys!)

See if I can finally get my second tattoo

#john's commentary

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crimewizards · 2 years

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blackrock 10 year retrospective

so! it’s been. ten years since the blackrock chronicle started. let’s talk about that

i got minecraft in august 2012, right around the 1.3 update, after a camp friend showed it to me. like any other minecraft-playing 12 year old in 2012, i immediately took to the internet and discovered minecraft videos and parodies. one of these was Screw The Nether, the singer of which one of my friends identified as martyn. i watched martyn’s tekkit series (rip) and didn’t recognize one of the names on his waypoints: rythian. naturally, i looked up rythian on youtube, and found this little series called The Tekkit Adventure.

the rest is kind of history.

this series has meant so much to me over the last ten years. from making real life friends because i was reading fanfic and they asked what i was reading to desperately trying to explain the series to friends in 7th grade art to one of my friends making me a charm bracelet with blackrock themed charms for the holidays to the tumblr explanation of the finale to all the different yog servers ive been in and now being a fandom boomer in modern day mcyt spaces. i still cry watching the final episode of season 2. i still only really know the lyrics to zoey’s sk8rboi parody and not the original. frankly, im a lesbian because of this series. i had a MASSIVE crush on zoey as a kid and barely even knew it, and as an adult, im just sitting here like “ah.” she was some of the first lesbian rep i’d seen Basically Ever and i cannot thank her enough for that.

to celebrate, i dug through all my old sketchbooks and notepads to bring you all the blackrock/yogscast fanart i could find from the last ten years. i’m sure there’s PLENTY that’s missing. it’s all under the cut, chronologically listed. cheers, blackrock fandom. we’re still kickin’.

2012-2013 these are all from my 7th/8th grade art class sketchbooks + when i got my first drawing tablet for hanukkah 2013

2014-2015

2016-2017

done during cornerstone rewatch

2018-2019

(danger days au)

EARLY 2020

my rythian pc for a dnd game i was in

2021

2022

kinda funny how this also serves as an art improvement timeline lmao. so yeah! that’s all i got! keep on blackrockin’ <3 <3

#blackrock chronicles #blackrock #yogscast #yogs #when i say im old school mcyt i mean OLD SCHOOL #lav talks #emily art #i cant believe its been ten fuckin years #long post

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nightwings-robin · 1 year

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having a lot of feelings about the Young Justice cartoon in this chili's tonight since it's the ten year anniversary of when the last episode of season 2 aired back when the show was first canceled.

I know I've criticized and complained about yjtv a lot before but I do truly love the show. it's what got me into dc comics. I remember watching the very first episode when it premiered back in 2010. before that, the only dc things I had seen were bits and pieces of Schumacher's Batman and Robin and the Teen Titans Trouble in Tokyo movie (and I didn't even know that that was dc related at the time, like I didn't know Robin from TT was the same character as Batman's sidekick).

I knew nothing else about dc outside of that so watching Young Justice all those years ago is what got me hooked into dc comics, which has become such a huge part of my life. so I feel like I really owe yjtv for introducing me to dc comics.

like I said, I remember watching the first episode, I remember being blown away by Failsafe, I remember watching youtube reviews by MangoSiren and TheSirkShow. I remember the tumblr fandom for it in like 2012. I remember watching it at a friend's house and theorizing about what would happen next. I watched AMVs and read fanfiction. even drew some fanart and wrote my own fic.

I remember being devastated when it got canceled. I signed petitions and literally wrote a letter to Warner Bros begging to renew it.

and I remember watching the finale Endgame on saturday March 16, 2013. I volunteered at the animal shelter that day before watching it. It was cold. I can't describe the emotions I felt watching that "last" episode but it sure did make me feel a lot of things.

I totally understand why many people dislike or even hate the Young Justice cartoon. like I get it. if I had been more knowledgeable about dc comics prior to watching it, especially if I had read the Young Justice 98 comics, I probably wouldn't have liked the show so much (like seriously why is it even called Young Justice if it was going to be so vastly different from the comic of the same name????)

but I still love the show so much despite its flaws and I credit it with saving my life. it came out when I was a depressed high-schooler with suicide ideation but I didn't make an attempt on my life literally because I didn't want to miss a new episode.

I will always owe yjtv for that.

#young justice animated #young justice cartoon #yjtv #dc comics #suicide mention #I am once again pouring my heart out about a cartoon that actually irritates me more than anything #I know it sounds stupid that I didn't off myself because of a cartoon but remember:#there's no such thing as a dumb reason to not kill yourself

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sweettsubaki · 2 years

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A few days ago I finally took the step to catch up on Natsume Yuujinchou which I haven't read in over ten years.

I watched the first ep when it came out and when I looked it up I realized the 2nd volume was just gonna be released a few days afterwards (don't ask me more, that was almost 15 years ago). Which I bought (well my mom bought me, I was barely 16 and had no money), then procedeed to catch up on the translated chapters (I don't know if it's still the case but back then I think there was something like a 6 chapters/6 months up to 10 chap/months difference between the chapter release in Japan and the fantrad).

I stopped reading around the time my mom died at the end of 2012 bc it was monthly and I already have a hard time keeping up with monthly releases and back then I wasn't in the mood for this kind of waiting.

I also never went past season 2 bc keeping Sasada around wasn't a change I cared for. I didn't really mind but it didn't make things more interesting so it was meh and I didn't care for the OP/ED of s3 (look after s2's opening, s3's OP was disappointing and since I didn't have the curiosity of what will happen next? For the main arcs and I was mostly indifferent to the characters added/reused for fillers ('xcept fox kid) so there wasn't enough to keep me around).

So I thought: why not go back through watching the anime since there are lots of seasons now and a few filler characters won't be too bad. Which I did, and it was...good at first, then nice...

And the more I watched, the weirder some things seemed to be (like Natori, Taki and Tanuma's personalities, or Natsume being weirdly open when I remembered how closed off he was and how opening himself up was harder than that or the weird shippy vibe between Taki and Natsume (or even Taki and Tanuma) which was even weirder because I remembered shipping TanuNatsu because of Tanuma's role as an anchor and the developing trust between them and his role in helping Natsume opening up).

But I thought that maybe I just didn't remember it that well as it has been 10 years since I last read it, but while I started the manga, I also browsed tumblr and I stumbled upon metas explaining how the anime to... Basically stereotypicalize the characters so they'd fit in the cases these characters would normally fit (heroic MC who saves his friends, soft and empathetic girl(friend of the MC), wise big brother who is touched by the younger, more naive MC, and the protective and assertive best friend of the MC who's useless and gets in the way but is still loved).

So 1. I was glad I actually remembered it fairly well, especially since I remembered liking it because of the fact it went about it differently. And especially because human (and yokai) connections were pretty much at the center of the story.

2. I was sad that they basically no homo-ed a story that was so queer I read big metas on how queer-themed it was on several websites both in English AND French back in 2009 (it was a lot harder to find these kinds of métas in french if you weren't already part of queer communities back then). And I'm not talking about TanuNatsu but of everything else. One of the métas I read yesterday showed how heteronormativity literally twisted the themes of the story, the characters, and their development.

3. They tried to have some characters make nice so that they wouldn't be as wary and aggressive towards other characters yet the fact that the author allowed her characters to feel like that toward people who felt hurt by the other's actions and/or beliefs was something that was important to me so I'm glad it wasn't just in my mind

#Natsume's Book of Friends #Natsume Yuujinchou #Natsume Takashi #Tanuma Kaname #Natori Shuuichi #Taki Tooru

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dansnaturepictures · 1 year

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21/01/23-Blog 3 of 3: Mercer Way, Romsey

Following on from my previous posts about today, to make it into a smashing day of birdwatching we then went to Mercer Way in Romsey some parkland a known spot for Hawfinches at this time of year where one had been seen today and we saw some in January 2018. Along with others at various points we watched for over an hour and eventually managed some glimpses of the bird in trees. Then as the constant sun today just started to feel as though it was lowering this sunset coloured colossal finch settled in good light atop the tall trees in a very clear view. A mesmerising sighting of an iconic species, I was in aw watching it and taking photos I got the fifth, sixth and eighth pictures in this photoset of it. Last year Hawfinch became my first ever bogey bird (the one I usually see in a year with not too much trouble that I don’t for ages in a year) that I didn’t go onto see, the first time since 2012 I’d not seen this species so it was the perfect script to see one so early in 2023, especially a view like that and me being the only one in the household that didn’t see a Hawfinch last year spotting it first of the three of us today. What an epic and special bird to see, making out its firm and striking features. One of two big year ticks for me today alongside Cetti’s Warbler at Winnall Moors earlier to take my year list to 124. That’s three species already I can name off the top of my head that I didn’t see last year which is always interesting. Funnily enough when we came in 2018 as well as getting Hawfinch pictures I photographed a Redwing here as I did earlier at Winnall Moors.

There were other great birds to see here this afternoon also headlined by two raptors I hold dear with astonishing views of Red Kite and Peregrine overhead in the bright blue sky not bad for a built up area I’d say even if the former is renowned for towns and cities of course. I took the record shot in the third picture in this photoset of the Peregrine and seventh picture in this photoset of the Red Kite. This made today and today and yesterday a bit of a raptor fest with Buzzard and Sparrowhawk seen at Winnall Moors and the Kestrel at Lakeside yesterday. Here we also saw; Robin, House Sparrow, another nice Goldcrest the last couple of days, Blue Tit and Long-tailed Tit nicely, Starlings gathering nicely in the air which is always stirring to see, Collared Dove, Woodpigeon, Magpie and Grey Squirrel I seem to recall. With possible Blackbird and Bullfinch seen, and Black-headed Gull and Rook on roofs nearby on the way in. I liked seeing catkins and the fruit of a plane tree which the first picture in this photoset shows here too.

It was lovely to take in nice views here of the green grass and trees with the sun lowering, I took the final two pictures in this photoset of sun through trees type shots a type of shot I enjoy doing that I’ve had a good day for. I took the second and fourth pictures in this photoset of views here today. It was great to speak to and share the experience with others here today too, including people we know/have met before a good theme of a big day of wildlife and photos for me today. Seeing gorse on the way here and Magpie out the back with Greylag Geese heard at time spent at home between the two trips out today seeing some geese tonight just before it got too dark to see I believe too was nice.

My other posts about today are here: https://dansnaturepictures.tumblr.com/post/707085250592915456/210123-blog-1-of-3-winnall-moors-post-1-the and https://dansnaturepictures.tumblr.com/post/707085601005010945/210123-blog-2-of-3-winnall-moors-post-2-ten

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miceenscene · 3 years

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'tis the damn season

frankie/reader | childhood friends to lovers | pre-canon

wc: 1.8k/2.5k

summary: At one point in your lives, you knew Frankie better than anyone else on earth. When did that change?

warnings: none

an: don't let anyone tell you that second person doesn't work from another character's perspective, least of all yourself while editing

Masterpost | ao3

Chapter 2: Who am I Related to?

December 8, 2012 18:57

Hudson’s was a shitty bar just up highway 210 outside of Fort Bragg, the nearest watering hole to the base as the crow flies.

As a result, it served pretty damn near exclusively military personnel. When it changed ownership about four years back, the new management decided to reflect that and so the place looked like the Fourth of July and Top Gun had thrown up on it. Never mind that Fort Bragg was an Army base. Still, they had cheap booze and greasy food that was far better than the commissary, so it was always busy.

Pope had texted the usual suspects a few hours ago that he was heading to Hudson’s that evening, making Frankie immediately ditch his plans of drinking alone for drinking with Pope and whoever else showed up. Most likely just Benny and Ironhead now that Redfly had semi-retired down to Florida. It was a short drive to the bar from the dorms on base, but it was enough to make Frankie groan and press hands to his lower back as he got out of his car and made his way inside.

Pope was sitting at the bar and didn’t look up from texting on his phone as Frankie gingerly eased into the stool next to him.

“Hey, Fish,” Pope said, rereading the email.

“Hey.” At the bartender’s attention, Frankie pointed to Pope’s beer before daring a slight back stretch.

Pope sent his email and then looked over. “You alright?”

“Yeah, just finished PT.”

He chuckled once. “Back still fucked?”

“More tired than fucked anymore,” Frankie managed, shaking his head and wincing. The bartender delivered his beer, and Frankie took a swig. “When did we get old?”

“¿De qué estás hablando ‘nosotros’, viejo?”

Frankie jabbed an elbow and grinned slightly down at his next swig. “Culero.”

“Hey, before everyone gets here–” Pope looked at him, an oddly serious expression on his face for their usual bar. “I found out today you haven’t re-enlisted yet.”

Frankie immediately dropped his gaze to the suddenly very interesting glass in his hand. “Ah, no. No, I haven’t.”

“I’m trying to pull strings to get Benny into our unit full-time. I think he’d fit well with the team. Then Simmons tells me you haven’t signed your new papers yet. So what’s up?”

Frankie glanced over to see Pope still focused on him. “Nothing, nothing. I… I’m still thinking about it.”

He chuckled. “What’s there to think about?”

“We all want out someday, right? If we’re lucky enough to choose when we leave.”

“Yeah, but there’s thinking and thinking.” Pope smacked his shoulder. “What – are you gonna become a real estate agent like Redfly?”

No. Definitely not. Even just the idea of shilling condos was enough to make Frankie’s eyes glaze over. But still–

“Real estate agents make more money than we do.”

Pope made a considering face for a moment then brushed it off. “Yeah, but you’d miss it. You’re like me. We like the rush.”

Frankie nodded slightly. This is why he was still just thinking about it. It wasn’t a small thing to walk away from fourteen years with the Army. Especially since everyone knew the retirement benefits were absolute shit until you hit twenty. But he could already tell, he didn’t have another six years in him. He wasn’t even sure he had another deployment.

“You know the deadline’s New Year’s, right?” Pope said, cutting through his thoughts.

“Yeah, I know. I have some leave I have to take before the year’s out anyway.”

Pope nodded. “Good. Clear your head, get some perspective. See how fucking boring civvy life is, and then come back Jan 2 and join my team.”

Frankie smiled wryly; Pope always could make anything sound easy. “Something like that.”

“You have holiday plans then?” he asked, leaning an elbow on the bar.

Frankie sucked in breath. “I guess I’ll go back to my parents’. My mom’s been wanting me to visit for a while now.”

“How long’s it been?”

“I saw them in DC last summer, but I haven’t been back home… since I joined Delta.”

“Remind me where they’re at.”

“Up north. Little town in the middle of nowhere. Still in the same house I grew up in.” He could picture the wreath on the door, the twinkling lights his dad always strung across the front fence every December. A matching set used to be hung on the fence exactly opposite across the street. Who lived there now, he wondered. Would they put the tree in the front window too?

“Soldier coming home for Christmas. Sounds like a Hallmark movie.”

“Fuck you,” Frankie replied as the others finally arrived.

Frankie got his answer as he ducked out the front door of his parent’s house about a week later. His breath immediately fogged as he sucked in a few calming breaths of night air, the pressure in his head slowly levelling. Out in the still darkness, the noise level coming from the living room was finally manageable. Inside, with all of his cousins and his aunts and uncles and the music and everyone talking over each other and the heater set far too high for the number of people inside– he… he just needed a break.

Seven hours was a decent stint for his first day. He’d be around longer tomorrow. Wading in. That was the key. Because he was now the kind of person that had to treat time with his family like running a marathon. Apparently.

He walked down to the twinkling front fence, making a mental note to shovel the front walk tomorrow, and stopped. The house across the street – your house, as it would forever be in his mind – was completely dark. A small sign posted in the front yard announced some sort of home refurbishment company was going to be arriving soon. No doubt they would come in, strip away wallpaper and old tile and heart to paint it all beige and granite for the quick resell.

He hadn’t had the heart to ask his mother yet how long the house hadn’t belonged to your family. No need for another reminder of how much time had passed, how much he’d missed. He had more than enough already.

The front door opened behind him, casting a temporary warm glow across the dark snow, and his dad stepped out, pipe in hand. He meandered down the front steps to join Frankie at the gate, puffing a few times before speaking.

He shook his head. “It’d break his heart to see it so empty, but I understand why she sold,” he said, looking at the forlorn house with him.

“How long ago?” Frankie asked.

“Few months. Not too long after the funeral.” Dad looked his way for a moment. “I’ll give it ten minutes before I tell your mother you left.”

“I… thanks,” he replied weakly.

“Will you be back tomorrow?”

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll be back.”

Dad nodded slowly, leaving just the pipe smoke wafting between them for a minute. “Take it slow, no need to rush.”

“Thanks.” He stepped through the gate, fishing in his pocket for his car keys.

“Francisco,” he said, making Frankie stop and look at him. “We’re glad you’re back.”

Frankie just nodded and went to his car. Even though he couldn’t bear another minute in the noisy press of his loved ones, the idea of going back to his lonely hotel room was truly abysmal. So after some finagling with the ignition, he started the engine and headed to the one bar he’d ever been to in his hometown.

There were Christmas lights in the window and a dancing Santa on the bar as Frankie walked in. Some sort of forcibly cheery holiday classic played over the speakers tucked between quirky memorabilia that hung over every square inch of wall space. And even though public smoking had been outlawed by the state well over a decade ago, cigarette stench had sunk into the very foundation of the place.

It was nothing like Frankie remembered. But it would do.

Eyes automatically sweeping across the moderately busy room for a Thursday night, he headed for a stool at the far end of the bar, ordering a beer when the bartender came by. It was just one step up from swill, but comfortably numbing in its mediocrity. He looked across the room again, checking for familiar faces this time and finding none. No surprise there. A decade was a long time, and really he hadn’t been around too much for the years before that too.

There were couples on dates here, friend groups, some sort of girls’ night happening in the corner, a few loners like him hovering at the bar. Most everyone was smiling, talking, laughing so hard their whole bodies shook. A whole world of Normal. And Frankie was a tourist.

Pope was right. He couldn’t go back to this. He couldn’t make it through one whole day with blood relatives anymore. What was he thinking? That he could just settle into a normal life like the last decade of his work was nothing? Get a 9-to-5 and a mortgage and a girl – not that he’d ever had too much luck in that department. Especially when there was one girl that eclipsed all others, and he didn’t even know her phone number any more.

The door opened, making the Santa on the bar dance, and every thought in Frankie’s head immediately stopped. His eyes drew wide as he stared, jaw barely restrained from slapping against his chest. Was it really – course it was, there wasn’t anyone else it could be. A whole century could pass, and he’d still know that face.

It was you.

Live, in the flesh you. Cheeks pinked from the wind, haloed by the street lights outside, wrapped in a truly astonishing number of woolen layers. Not a half-remembered fantasy, but Real and breathing and even more beautiful than his memory had claimed.

He watched you shake a few flurries out of your hair and stomp the excess snow off your boots, shutting the door behind you as you waved to the bartender. Your gaze swung across the bar, completely skimming past him, and landed on the girls’ night in the corner. You smiled. He stared.

You began to head over to the people you were obviously here to meet. On nothing but pure instinct, he immediately got out of his stool and followed you. Falling into step behind you, he stretched a hand forward to hook a few fingers inside your elbow.

You looked back at him, and for a heart-breaking breath there was no recognition in your eyes.

Till he gave you a half-smile and said, “Hey Bo.”

You blinked, mouth dropping open. “Frankie?” you asked.

He nodded.

Your astonishment ballooned so wide it froze your whole face solid for a moment. Then you laughed, out of far more shock than amusement, and gave him a smile all his own. “Oh my god!! You’re here!”

You immediately wrapped him in a hug. And though it took him a moment to return it, for the first time in ten whole years, he was home.

Chapter 3: Not my Homeland Anymore

taglist: @kelenloth ; @darnitdraco ; @gracie7209 ; @616wilsons ; @icanbeyourjedi ; @astroboots ;

#frankie morales #frankie morales x female reader #frankie morales x you #pedro pascal #pedro pascal character fic #triple frontier #frankie morales x reader #my writing #ttds

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bedlamsbard · 3 years

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Some Loki thoughts under the cut! Not explicitly spoilery for this week’s episode except for one comment, but some of what I’ve been dwelling on for the past few weeks, especially as I go through my MCU watch. This is sort of negative, for those who are avoiding negative comments.

I think for me what I'm increasingly missing is context -- Marvel could have run most if not all of this story line with almost ANY character with very few changes; it doesn't feel deeply rooted in Loki himself. At this point (next week’s finale could obviously prove otherwise) you could run this exact same story line with Natasha or Tony or Thor or Steve or Wanda or etc and end up with pretty similar results.

Obviously some of the decontextualization is deliberate depersonalization; what happens when you remove Loki from everything familiar and put him in this beige office monstrosity? But even depending where you fall on the was-influenced-or-tortured-by-Thanos scale, that...already...happened to him...when he fell at the end of Thor, it just all happened offscreen, and then it happened again in the beginning of Thor: Ragnarok when he falls off the Bifrost and ends up on Sakaar -- it just all, again, happens offscreen, and both times results in Loki going “yeah, I could be anyone but I’m going to be Loki of Asgard, good or bad.” Which isn’t to say that there’s not value in telling that story onscreen but I don’t love how they’ve been doing it. And like, I love alternate universes and multiverses and alternate versions of the same character, I was absolutely onboard for episodes 1-3.

What’s key for me in that kind of thing is still keeping the character very firmly rooted in their own context even when everything else is stripped away from me, and that’s where the show started losing me after ep 1 and to a lesser extent ep 2 really dug into it. Like, this guy is not human, he’s a thousand years old, he may or may not be a literal god (every Thor and Avengers movie has a different answer for the “are Asgardians gods or not?” question and Ragnarok commits to it; because I love the larger-than-life scale of divine storytelling that’s where I fall on that scale, but the show sort of elides it), and he just had the Battle of New York go pear-shaped on him. And then there’s his family and...yeah, previously he’s only been presented in context of Thor (and to a lesser extent Odin and Frigga), but like, so has Thor himself -- Thor’s most stripped of context in Age of Ultron, tbh (which is a whole ‘nother issue because of like...the rest of AoU). But that’s a huge part of Loki and his identity issues and the fact that because, for whatever reason, the show can’t/won’t bring in movie characters rings hollow. (The reasons are probably torn between a very practical “budget + pandemic made it impossible” and a thematic “who’s Loki without his family?”) I like Loki a lot as a character, but for me a huge part of what makes him that character is his context and not having it is jarring. (And I like his dynamic with Thor.) Most of what I find really appealing about Loki has just not been there these past few eps and it’s not there even in its absence, which is the key part for me; with the family bit you can feel around the edges of it because it’s been highlighted a few times, but the “absolutely not human” part is just...lacking. Like, you can have the magic and all the rest of it too, you know?

And for me the fact that this is supposed to be post-Avengers 2012 Loki -- which is a Loki who’s glaring in his brittleness -- is...lacking? You can argue that one reason he’s so unsettled is because he’s smarting from what happened there, but I’m just not feeling it. And yeah, he’s a chameleon who can blend into new contexts pretty easily, even coming immediately out of trauma (the Sakaar episode in Ragnarok shows that), but that’s such a specific context that we’re so familiar with that it feels off to me. (And also, this is is a me issue, Tom Hiddleston, while very handsome, is very clearly ten years older in the face than he was as 2012 Loki, so I don’t even have the visual cues to say “this is 2012 Loki.” That is obviously a me issue, again, I want to reiterate that.)

and to switch gears off the decontextualization

I’m also feeling some resentment on behalf of Loki Prime back in the films because the whole argument that a Loki is only allowed to do bad things and won't be allowed to change falls apart in the face of TDW/Ragnarok/IW? and like, he was presumably a pretty decent dude the preceding millennium? there’s a reason his psychotic break in Thor was such a shock to everyone? (I guess to get back to context, he’s a thousand years old and the fact that none of that history feels like it’s there. Like, the DB Cooper thing is ultimately pretty harmless, and also like...only forty years prior.) I've seen people talking about Show Loki having to speedrun Film Loki's character arc but by the whole argument of the show, if we're taking it at face value, that character arc NEVER SHOULD HAVE BEEN ALLOWED TO HAPPEN. So it sits weirdly with me.

Obviously there’s no reason to take “you were born to cause pain and suffering and death” at face value, except there’s also Kid Loki’s comment in the last ep about “whenever one of us dares try to fix themselves, they’re sent here to die.” It’s been a while since I read the comics (I think I went through Journey into Mystery around when Thor or maybe Avengers came out, but that was the last time), but IIRC that feels like much more a comics thing than an MCU thing and because they’re so very, very different it’s jarring. This felt like a lot of “we’re going to stuff comics stuff in here despite the fact that the MCU is only very loosely connected to the comics,” which on the one hand could be fun (and obviously a lot of people found it fun!) but on the other hand threw me very badly. I love a multiverse but one reason I mentally can't cope with most comics is that I need the multiverse to be very, very logical about its divergence points and that went out the window here. This is 100% about how my brain works, not a quality issue; it’s an issue that’s shown up elsewhere and not specifically a Loki thing here. (I can kind of look past it for Into the Spider-Verse but tbh I think a lot of the reason I can is because that film’s animated. again, like, 100% about how my brain works.)

also the recurring “glorious purpose” line makes zero sense considering that Loki never utters it again after Avengers. :/ I know it was exciting back in 2012 but y’all.

okay I’m going back to dealing with all of these problems in fanfic again

#bedlam watches loki

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celestialmazer · 3 years

Text

Julie Mehretu, Untitled 2, 1999. Private collection. Courtesy of White Cube. © Julie Mehretu

Julie Mehretu, Hineni (E. 3:4), 2018. Centre Pompidou, Paris, Musée national d’art moderne/Centre de création industrielle; gift of George Economou, 2019. © Julie Mehretu. Photography:Tom Powel Imaging

Julie Mehretu, Mind-Wind Field Drawings (quarantine studio, d.h.) #1, 2019-2020. Private collection, courtesy Marian Goodman Gallery New York/Paris. © Julie Mehretu. Photography courtesy Marian Goodman Gallery

Julie Mehretu, Mogamma (A Painting in Four Parts) Part 1, 2012. Guggenheim Abu Dhabi. © Julie Mehretu. Photography: White Cube, Ben Westoby

Julie Mehretu, Conjured Parts (eye), Ferguson, 2016. The Broad Art Foundation, Los Angeles. © Julie Mehretu. Photography: Cathy Carver

Julie Mehretu, Migration Direction Map (large), 1996. Private collection. © Julie Mehretu. Photography: Tom Powel Imaging

At home with artist Julie Mehretu

CAMILLE OKHIO - 25 MAR 2021

Julie Mehretu speaks with the joy and conviction of someone who has had the freedom to investigate all their interests. Curiosity has led her to the myriad topics, objects and moments that inform her work, among them cartography, archaeology, the birth of civilisation and mycology. Since the 1990s, her practice has expanded outwardly in all directions like a spider web. A lack of understanding and preconceived notions among reviewers have often led to her work being flattened – simplified so that it is easily digestible – but in reality, her work is far from a simplistic investigation of any one topic. It encompasses multitudes.

The artist’s recent paintings are mostly large scale, but her early works on paper (often created with multiple layers – one sheet of Mylar on top of another) are as small as a six-inch square. The works often comprise innumerable minuscule markings – tremendous force and knowledge communicated through delicate inkings and streaks. Their layers reveal, rather than obfuscate. And though Mehretu’s creative process springs from a desire to understand herself better, the work itself is in no way autobiographical.

Born in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia, on the tails of a continental rejection of colonialism, and raised there, then in Michigan, Mehretu has a flexible and full-hearted understanding of home. It is not one physical place, but many, all holding equal importance. On 25 March, Mehretu will present her first major retrospective at the Whitney Museum of American Art, with works spanning 1996 to 2019. The institution is an important one for Mehretu, as it played host to several pivotal shows in her youth.

Her exhibition has served as an impetus for Mehretu to look back at her already prolific career, observing and organising the thoughts, questions and answers she has put forth for over two decades. The six years it took to bring this exhibition together proved an incredibly valuable time of reflection, fatefully dovetailing with a year of quarantine.

Wallpaper*: Where are you as we speak?

Julie Mehretu: I’m in my studio on 26th Street, right on the West Side Highway. I’ve worked here for 11 years.

W*: Are there any artists, writers or thinkers that have had a meaningful impact on you?

JM: I don’t know how to answer that because there are literally so many! It’s constantly changing. Right now, Kara Walker, David Hammons, William Pope.L, and younger artists like Jason Moran (who has made amazing work around abstraction). There are so many artists that have been informative and important to me: Frank Bowling, Jack Whitten, Caravaggio.

I also look at a lot of prehistoric work, from as far back as 60,000 years ago, as well as cave paintings from 6th century China and early prehistoric drawings in the caves of Australia.

W*: What’s the most interesting thing you have read, watched or listened to recently?

JM: For the last few weeks I’ve been immersed in Steve McQueen films. I’ve been bingeing on lovers rock music. And a TV show that really moved me was [Michaela Cole’s] I May Destroy You. It’s difficult, but it was really well done and powerful.

Ocean Vuong’s novel On Earth We Are Briefly Gorgeous is amazing. The Mushroom at the End of the World by Anna Lowenhaupt Tsing is a really incredible book too – she studies this mushroom that became a delicacy in Japan in the 7th century. It started growing in deforested areas – it’s in these places destroyed by human beings that these mushrooms survive. [I find it interesting] that this mushroom grows on the edge of precarity and destruction. Like with Black folks, there is a constant aspect of insisting on yourself and reinventing yourself in the midst of constant effort of destruction.

W*: What was the first piece of art you remember seeing? How did you feel about it?

JM: One of the first times I remember being moved by a work of art was looking through my mother’s Rembrandt book. We brought so few things back from Ethiopia and that was one of them. [Particularly] Rembrandt’s The Sacrifice of Isaac. That story is so intense. I was so moved by the light and the skin and the way the paint made light and skin.

W*: Do you travel? If so, what does travel afford you, and what have you missed about it during Covid-19?

JM: I travel a lot, but I haven’t travelled this year. There has been this amazing sense of suspension and a pause in that. I miss travelling, but going to look at art, watching films, reading novels and listening to music is the way I travel now. For instance, I’ve been listening to Afro-Peruvian music and now I want to go to Peru.

Before I know it we will be back in this fast-paced, zooming-around environment – there is something I want to savour by staying here, now, in this time and absorbing as much as I can.

W*: You are said to have a vast collection of objects and images. Walk me through your collection – what areas, materials, makers and things have the largest presence and why?

JM: When you enter our home there is this long hallway. Framed along the wall we have around 20 fluorescent Daniel Joseph Martinez block-printed posters he made with words – almost poems. Our kids grew up reading those. One says ‘Sometimes I can’t breathe’ and another one says ‘Don’t work’, while some are really long.

We also have a great Paul Pfeiffer photograph of one from the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse series. We have a group of Richard Tuttle etchings right over our dining table. We have an amazing David Hammons body print as well, and my kids’ work is all over the house.

W*: As the daughter of immigrants and an immigrant yourself – how do you conceptualise home and how do you create it?

JM: There were a lot of times I felt very transient – as a student and a young adult, going in and out of school and residency programmes. It always came back to music and food. There are certain flavours, foods, music, smells that you take wherever you go. Also as a mother, I’m building a home for my children. Home becomes something else because of them. They are the core of home now.

W* How has motherhood affected your practice?

JM: I became much more productive when I had kids for several reasons – one is that I felt a lot of pressure to make [work] in the time I wasn’t with them, which of course is unsustainable. A large part of making is not making – thinking and searching.

When I got to work I could get into it much more quickly. Kids grow and change so fast, you feel time is passing so you need to use it. I wasn’t going to stop working, that’s for sure. All women who are pushing in their lives make that choice.

W*: What is your favourite myth and why does it hold importance for you?

JM: Right now I’m reading Greek myths to my ten-year-old. We’ve read them before, but he wanted to read them again. I still read to him at night even though he’s a voracious reader himself.

The myths I remember the most are myths I’ve come across in visual works. Titian’s Diana and Actaeon – I know that myth so well because of his painting. Bernini’s mesmerising sculpture of Apollo and Daphne I saw in Rome, where her body becomes a tree. The leaves are so delicately carved into the marble, it’s a work of incredible beauty. I’ve been considering this deconstructionist approach to mythology. Storytelling becomes this place to interrogate propositions, which is what I think mythology does.

W*: Have you experienced a flattening of your work?

JM: I’m always concerned with flattening and pigeonholing. That is something that happens to artists like us all the time. When I first was working and showing there was a bit of that happening with my work. It was put into the space of cartography or an architectural analysis of it. It was said to be autobiographical work.

The art world tries to consume. There is this desire to flatten and the desire for Black artists to be a reflection of their experience. I don’t think any artist is like that at all. In reality, none of us are flat. We all contain multitudes and are complicated – that has always been the core of the Black radical tradition.

#julie mehretu #art #abstract art #abstract #mark making #history #geography #nature

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ororowrites · 3 years

Text

Scripted - Yahya x Black OC

Sweet Thang- Chapter 3

One-shot: By the Open Fire

Chapters: 1 2

Warnings: Language

Word Count: 2,003

Two months later

Candace finished her last night at Dynasty and vowed to never return. She had collected enough money to support the remaining tuition payments, graduation fees and the application fee for Yale’s School of Drama. March had snuck upon her and her application was due in a month for the 2012-2013 school term. The process was daunting because this was the only M.F.A program she planned to apply to and she prayed this wasn’t a mistake. Yale was her dream school and though she was the type to have a plan B, C and Z, she was gambling on her resume and audition tapes.

Yahya had already made one visit to Los Angeles, since he met Candace at Dynasty. He was collecting unemployment and attending acting classes to get more experience to add to his resume. They had talked about his plan moving forward and Yahya was enjoying acting so much, he planned to apply to Yale as well. Candace had convinced him to live a little and follow his heart and talent. Even if his application was denied, he would have the experience and could apply to another program. During their acting class, Candace was surprised by Yahya’s natural talent in theatre. He deeply connected with the scripts and scenarios and she was in awe of how he could change his entire persona to fit the character. Candace wouldn’t admit it, but her attraction to Yahya was growing. Not only was he physically attractive, but his sensitivity and thoughtfulness made him appealing. He was also attracted to Candace and took his time getting to know her, while also respecting her space after her breakup.

Another acting coach was in town and Yahya made the trip to LA to attend a session with Candace. It had been two weeks since his last visit and he was eager to get into another class and spend time with his friend. They decided to meet at Candace’s apartment and ride to their class together.

“Do you think this man will make us cry on cue or what,” Candace joked, flipping on her turn signal to take the exit off the expressway.

“It’s called the Degree of Emotion, I’m sure we’re crying in this class,” Yahya chuckled, scrolling through his email for job postings. Right now, he was living off of unemployment and his savings, he would need a job sooner rather than later.

“I can’t cry on cue. It takes a bit of coaching to get me there. Hopefully this class can give me some pointers,” Candace revealed.

Dr. Ben Mayer, renowned acting coach to many in the industry and professor at Julliard, was standing in the middle of the stage when the students arrived. As they walked into the class, he recited an excerpt from the Odyssey. His heavy voice carried throughout the theatre, capturing everyone’s attention before they reached their seats. Yahya grabbed Candace’s hand, helping her down the dark theatre stairs and to the front row.

“Welcome to the Degree of Emotion. I’m Dr. Ben Mayer, your instructor for today. Please use the first two rows. Don’t be shy, I don’t bite,” the instructor ordered, pointing to the empty seats in front of the stage. “Today, I’ll be working with you on how to convey emotion with your voice, body language and expressions. Many that come into this field think showing emotion is only about crying or showing sadness onscreen or onstage. Emotion is more than that though. Anyone can be trained to cry on cue but what about that makes you feel like the character you’re portraying. Are you stepping into your character’s shoes or simply putting on a hat? Stepping into the shoes is more powerful and more fulfilling than putting on a hat. You walk in shoes and feel them out. So, I’m going to teach you how to do that.”

For the second half of the class, the group split up into groups of two and practiced different scripts. Dr. Mayer watched each group and offered criticism and advice. Candace was in Yahya’s group and they were supposed to be performing a piece about a couple who hit a rough patch. She felt good about this particular script because of her recent breakup but to her surprise, her performance fell flat for Dr. Mayer. He told her she was wearing a hat instead of stepping into Charlotte’s shoes and she had a lot to work on when it came to emotional acting.

That criticism stuck with Candace and ate at her for the remainder of the class. The second half of the course was in three weeks, where they would perform their scenes in front of their peers.

“Don’t be so hard on yourself,” Yahya proposed as they walked to a near-by coffee shop.

“I can handle criticism. It’s being told I don’t convey emotion that bugs me. No instructor has ever said that and here I am trying to get into Yale not conveying enough fuckin’ emotion,” Candace spat between her teeth. Being a perfectionist ended up being her downfall in many things. She believed in being perfect at her crafts, which is how she ended up in extra acting classes outside of her regular theatre courses. “Are my emotions not believable, Yah?”

“That’s coming from one instructor. We all have different ways of approaching this acting thing. But if you want to work on it, I’m here for a couple of more days. We can practice. No biggie.”

“I don’t know why I’m this bothered about this shit. But I’m going to give his ass emotion next time,” she promised, tossing her curls behind her ear.

-------

Trinity was out studying with some friends, leaving the apartment free for acting practice and a late brunch. Yahya was on fruit duty, while Candace made waffles and turkey bacon.

“What do you think is holding you back,” Yahya questioned, glancing over at his acting partner who was concentrating on whisking the lumps out of her pancake mix.

“Fear of failure. I think too much when it comes to certain scenes and end up closing myself off,” she replied after a few long seconds of silence. “That’s my only explanation. After all that stuff with Maxwell, it got worse, I guess.”

“I did this class in San Fran and the instructor had us doing meditation before we got to the acting. Maybe you can try that when you have those hard scenes. It helped me because I get too into my own head at times, too,” he offered, wiping his hands on a towel. “For now.... I need you to relax.”

Once Candace felt Yahya’s strong hands on her shoulders, she could have melted into a puddle in the middle of the kitchen floor. He massaged the tense muscles and rested his chin on top of her head. She hummed in relief, leaning back into his big body.

“Instead of thinking about how you can hide Dr. Mayer’s body, think about how you can prove him wrong. Put all that anger into Charlotte because she needs you in order to come alive.”

“Okay,” Candace sighed.

“Let’s try meditation first,” he suggested, leading Candace to the living room. “Try to get you nice and relaxed before we start.”

They meditated for ten minutes before returning to the kitchen to clear up counter space.

“Ready?” Yahya nodded towards his scene partner and earned a nervous nod in response.

Charlotte and Tyreik - TAKE ONE

“You’ve changed, Ty. Changed in ways you may not realize but I see it. Hell, I feel it too. When we supposedly make love and you aren’t present...you fill me up but you feel empty,” Candace spoke, shifting her weight from hip to hip. Playing Charlotte made her nervous for some reason. Maybe it was her own fear of opening up to another man after having her heart stomped to pieces by Maxwell. Like Charlotte, she no longer wanted to be a doormat to anyone, especially the opposite sex.

“You sure you even know how to feel anymore,” Yahya replied, pretending to cut invisible vegetables on the cutting board.

“Excuse me?”

“You can’t stand here and tell me you feel a thing, Char. I’ve been trying to talk to you about our relationship for months. But you’re always busy or too tired. So yeah....I’ve changed.”

The conversation was similar to one she had with Maxwell, except the roles were reversed. Like Yahya suggested, she dug deeper to find that spark that would turn on the switch.

“Because you talk at me. Yelling isn’t talking and it won’t get my attention,” she shot back, narrowing her eyes. “And the only reason you’re even talking is because you feel guilty.”

Yahya slammed his hands against the the cold, marble countertop, causing Candace to flinch. “Are we still stuck on that shit? I apologized, you accepted, it’s done. Stop bringing up old shit to hide your own insecurities.”

“We.... then why are we pretending this is what we both want? If we’re this unhappy, why are we doing this,” she mumbled, her eyes falling down to her feet.

“I don’t know. Maybe because we’re both afraid to let go of what’s familiar to us. I’m your first love and you’re my first long time relationship. Hard to let go of something you worked hard to keep going all these years.”

Dig deep, Candace. Thinking back to how she felt about Maxwell and his unborn child, Candace’s eyes began to water. “I want this to work, Ty. I really do,” she sniffed. Yahya’s eyes met hers and he tried to stay in character but he couldn’t hide how proud he was the moment he saw his advice working for Candace.

“I do too. But you have to let go of shit if you claim you forgive me,” Yahya moved in closer, letting Candace know they were close to the kissing scene.

“I’ll try,” she offered, her big, brown orbs searching his looking for a hint of Yahya. He rarely broke character, but there was an extra gleam in his eyes. This was the first time they had done anything outside of hugging. Yahya was respecting Candace’s space and allowing her to heal after her recent breakup.

Her heart beat violently against her chest when Yahya’s cologne flooded her senses. His lips became Candace’s main focus as he closed the space between them and placed his mouth on hers. The kiss was brazen, making Candace’s knees weak. Yahya placed his hands on the counter, caging in Candace’s small frame. His 6′3 frame towered over her, forcing him to duck his head down to deepen the kiss when her tongue slid past his. Since that night at the club, he had been waiting to kiss Candace’s lips. Just as he thought, they were as soft as pillows and the urge to take things to the next level invaded his thoughts.

Heat rose to Candace’s cheeks before spreading down to her belly, meeting the butterflies that were already dancing. Their scripts were long forgotten and they were well past the point of blaming their actions on their characters. Candace’s fingers toyed with the hem of Yahya’s shirt. They were both breathless when they pulled a part and Candace didn’t give Yahya time to catch his thoughts before her lips were back on his, fighting for dominance. Yahya’s shirt ended up on the kitchen floor, exposing his sculpted but slender mid-section. It was dangerous, yet neither one of them stopped it. The sexual tension had been strong from the moment they met and given the current circumstances, it was boiling over. From the slight touches and long gazes, hormones were bound to get them in this predicament. Yahya’s lips left hers and traveled to her neck, where they stayed, creating love bites.

“Do you want me to stop,” he questioned, his baritone causing a vibration between their bodies. The thumping between her ears and thumping between her legs had Candace’s mind swimming in circles.

Sorry for the wait and short chapter. We will get A LOT more Yahya and Candace in the next one though!

taglist: @blackburnbook @emjayewrites @just-peachee @chaneajoyyy

#yahya abdul mateen ii #yahya abdul mateen ii fanfics #yahya abdul mateen x black oc #black oc #black writers #ororo writes

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letterboxd · 3 years

Photo

How I Letterboxd #12: Joe Lynch.

Self-described cinedork and Mayhem filmmaker Joe Lynch tells Horrorville’s Brett Petersel about cinematic sausage, getting to direct Creepshow episodes and being a three-star starter on Letterboxd.

“Even when I watch what I would think is a real stinker, I also consider that there were many people involved in that film who didn’t walk on set going ‘okay people, let’s screw this up today!’” —Joe Lynch

It is always a pleasure to find film directors lurking on Letterboxd. Joe Lynch is a bona fide, OG member, having racked up more than 1,500 diary entries, giving half-star reviews to his own work, and creating lists of the movies that have influenced the making of his films.

There are the films that were in Lynch’s subconscious when he made Mayhem, a workplace splatter led by Steven Yeun and Samara Weaving. There are the movies he watched while researching the Salma Hayek-starring Everly. And this just in: films that influenced The Right Snuff, one of Lynch’s two episodes for the new Creepshow series—based on the 1982 horror-comedy classic and its sequels—which premieres on Shudder April 15.

Like so many of us, Lynch took time during the pandemic to catch up on films he had neglected to watch in spite of a previous career as a video-store clerk (a Criterion Channel subscription helped him get on top of the backlog). In this edition of ‘How I Letterboxd’, Lynch discusses how those classics have informed his craft, who his Letterboxd faves are, and why the horror genre is the future of the industry.

Steven Yeun and Samara Weaving in Joe Lynch’s ‘Mayhem’ (2017).

How long have you been on Letterboxd? Joe Lynch: I remember when Letterboxd was in its beta phase way back in good ol’ 2012 and I couldn’t wait to sign up, breathlessly waiting for an invite to the party. At the time, I had a digital database where I would log movies I’ve seen, but it was always subject to whatever laptop or device I had handy and would just be a mess of titles with no rhyme or reason.

When a member follows you, what should they expect? I put it right up top in my description: “I am not a critic”, just a lover of cinema. At first I didn’t want to write “reviews” in the description, especially since I first started using the service whilst in the throes of a horrible experience making a film that I thought would bury me and I’d never work again. I was like, and I still feel this way, “who am I to rip on a movie when someone can throw it right back at me? Like ‘dude, you directed Knights of Badassdom, sit down’.”

I’ve always had the highest regard for filmmakers who can get anything made. So even when I watch what I would think is a real stinker, I also consider that there were many people involved in that film who didn’t walk on set going “okay people, let’s screw this up today!” but instead were trying their best and circumstances just got in the way, which always happens. Having made a few films and TV now, I’m fully aware of the trials and tribulations that go into making a movie and have all the respect in the world for anyone who can steer that ship to completion. It’s hard making movies and even harder making one that is your original vision [and] that is widely embraced by an audience.

I have very weird tastes so don’t be shocked if you glance at my recent activity and you see Casablanca, The Silence of the Lambs or Bigger Than Life right next to The Legend of Billie Jean, Con Air or Candyman 3. I’m usually bouncing all over the place in terms of what kinds of movies I’m screening. From films recommended to me, to films that I may be watching for research, or even just how I’m feeling that day and maybe need a good laugh or a good cry or to be scared stiff. I like that kind of variety. There’s something out there for everyone and every emotion. If anything, I’d say expect the unexpected when it comes to my viewing habits.

What’s your favorite feature to use and why? One of the residual effects of working at video stores as a kid was my desire to siphon people’s tastes in movies and possibly recommend films to others as well, so my favorite feature is the ease of use in logging films and being able to quickly recall those films as well in the event someone asks me “what’s something I should watch?”. Getting older, the “employee’s picks” in my head is getting a little harder to cross-reference than usual so to have the ability to whip out my phone and say “oh man, I just watched Possession and it was awesome!” is exponentially helpful to a cinedork like myself.

‘Big Trouble in Little China’ (1986)—a five-star film says Joe Lynch.

How do you rate the films you watch? For example, what type of film is worthy of a five-star review? Funny, I always start out on three-stars mainly because I’m so proud of the filmmakers actually getting it completed! I’ve been there! I’m somewhat biased in my reflections because I’m always rooting for the artists and from there, it’s usually gauged on both an emotional level and a technical level. I always get made fun of while watching movies because I can point out hidden cuts or when a shot is reversed but [I’m] not trying to point out flaws, it's just how my brain is wired at this point. When you pull the curtain back enough to see how the cinematic sausage is made, it's harder and harder to objectively watch a movie without trying to dissect how it was done. I try so hard to shut that part of my brain off to just passively enjoy a movie but it’s tough. I usually skew towards the positive.

The films I’ve given five-stars are movies that have continually affected me over the years and have inspired me as a person and a filmmaker, which is everything from The Empire Strikes Back, Dawn of the Dead and When Harry Met Sally... to Big Trouble in Little China, The Blob, The Last of the Mohicans. I looked back at my five-stars and it’s mostly movies that made a significant impression on me from an early age and continue to do so, maybe even more so as I get older and I view these movies in a different light.

The anthology show Creepshow returns to Shudder this month. Tell us about the two episodes you directed for the series, ‘Pipe Screams’ and ‘The Right Snuff’. Both Creepshow and Creepshow 2 were important films in my youth and even today, they were some of the first movies I remember where I wasn’t quite sure if I was supposed to be scared or laugh. These films proclaimed we could do both! As a disciple of George A. Romero, Stephen King and Tom Savini, Creepshow really shaped how I watched movies and how I made them—consider the anthology I did a few years back, Chillerama, as a prime example. So when Shudder announced the show, I had to do everything on my part to convince them I could take the baton from these masters of the macabre and do them and the many fans proud.

To come to the table and say “I want ‘The Right Snuff’ to feel like 2001: A Space Odyssey crashed into The Andromeda Strain, and ‘Pipe Screams’ is my homage to The Blob and Delicatessen”—and then everyone just immediately getting it—was a dream. Between the casts I was lucky enough to work with and the amazing crew, especially the FX geniuses at KNB, it really was one of those dream jobs I’ll never forget. I hope audiences dig the madness we conjured up on those!

Season 2 of the Shudder series ‘Creepshow’ returns to the horror streamer this month. A third season has been ordered.

If you were to expand the Mayhem universe, what would it look like? We tried! I pitched the producers the idea of the ID-7 virus in other locations and situations because in essence the idea of being uninhibited by mental and emotional constraints is so ripe. My favorite was the idea that it would get loose in a Wal-Mart or a mall on Black Friday when consumers swarm to these department stores for the best deals. You’ve seen the videos, it’s just mass hysteria. The footage already out there would have been perfect to use already and those people aren’t even infected!

Sadly it didn’t come to pass, mainly because they asked “how do we get Steven and Samara back?” and I didn’t want to force those characters into that scenario, Die Hard 2 style. Plus they’re both huge stars now and likely unavailable for the next twelve years. But the ideas people have thrown out to me show that it was impactful enough to warrant variant scenarios in a “what if?” way that’s really exciting. Who knows, maybe the ID-7 virus could find its way onto the set of a movie production…

What excites you about the future of filmmaking, especially in horror films? The world is embracing new faces and voices more than ever and it means we’re getting stories that may not have ever had the chance to flourish and be seen and heard before. For the longest time the system was much more rigid because executives and producers thought that the audience was much less accepting of a wider world view in cinema and I think the last ten years has proven them wrong. There shouldn’t be any more “token” character or “strong [insert non-white-male] character” descriptions in development meetings. I hear it less and less, which is great because that’s not our world and since cinema—especially horror—is and always should be a reflection of our culture and times, it should reflect these evolutions as well.

When I made Wrong Turn 2: Dead End, the discussions over how one of the characters—a Black character played by Texas Battle—survived at the end was not in the original script but I pushed for it mainly because it was rare for the Black character to do so in a horror film. That shouldn’t be an anomaly! Why can’t there be a ‘final guy’ or have the survivors be LGBT+ or a POC and not the usual stereotypes?

I think now it’s more commonplace to see this and it excites me for the future of the genre that artists are being more welcome to express themselves without it feeling like it’s a gimmick or a twist on the norm.

I think generations of kids growing up with horror now are gonna see these strides in the storytelling—and who’s telling the stories—and push it even further. Places like Netflix and Shudder are willing to take chances with new voices more than the studio system, now more than ever, and that’s only going to produce some great stories now and in the future.

Erica Leehrsen and Texas Battle in a scene from ‘Wrong Turn 2: Dead End’ (2007).

How has the pandemic affected your creativity and influenced your work moving forward? Aside from losing a bunch of gigs due to the shutdown and being delayed on shooting Creepshow—which was a blessing in disguise considering the time we took to further develop the scripts and design of each episode—one of the main effects of the pandemic was how it gave many of us the time to catch up on a lot of films, mainly older ones. As you’d see from my diary entries on this very site, my viewing habits changed from a lot of modern films in that rat-race of catching up with the latest release, to mainly watching films I loved in the past and a lot of ’40s to ’70s films that I never got around to.

We have the tendency as film lovers to keep a mental list of films we’ll eventually get around to as if we have all the time in the world, but with the threat of the apocalypse and no real new content coming our way at the usual rapid clip, it was so gratifying to buy an annual subscription to Criterion Channel and start watching films like The Old Dark House, The Crimson Kimono, Contempt and many others.

All of these films impacted how I view film now and have bled into future projects I’m working on—especially on the technical side, when the world wasn’t influenced vicariously through MTV coverage and letting scenes play out in masters or longer takes, relishing in the performance or the mise-en-scéne. So, silver linings!

Before we go, who are some of your favorite follows on Letterboxd? I’m a big fan of Sean Baker, who I’ve known for almost 20 years now! We worked together in NYC and I was already a big Greg the Bunny fan but our mutual appreciation for fringe and exploitation films, especially international horror and genre films, seems to have bonded us for life. I love when he posts what he’s watching. Even if he’s just saying he screened something on Blu or streaming, his thoughts on cinema are always enjoyable and engaging.

In the same breath, filmmaker Jim Cummings has the best perspective on modern filmmaking and he’s clearly a big fan of using Letterboxd, so whenever I see peers like them using the app it makes me feel less like an obsessive movie dork myself, who should be getting back to work.

Some of the other follows I really enjoy are cineastes like Elric Kane and Brian Saur, who are the hosts of the New Beverly podcast Pure Cinema. Writers Anya Stanley, David Chen, Walter Chaw and Lindsay Blair Goeldner, musician and filmmaker Brendon Small, writer and critic Brian Tallerico, author Glenn Kenny, filmmaker Rodman Flender—just to name a few people who clearly love film and love sharing their thoughts on films in a very thoughtful way.

More times than not, I’m getting some great advice for what to watch next in my “new from friends” section! Because, like being at the video store, it’s casual conversations like the ones on Letterboxd that I love and always steering me to new films or revisiting old ones with a new perspective.

Related content

Joe’s film influences for ‘The Right Snuff’ Creepshow episode

The Video Store: Hollie Horror’s list of horror films with memorable scenes in video stores

Office Workplace Horror: J Cara’s list of office horror and workplace thrillers

Follow Brett on Letterboxd

Follow Horrorville—the home for horror on Letterboxd

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tyrannoninja · 3 years

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It should be common knowledge by now that human beings in their modern form, Homo sapiens, first evolved in Africa. Exactly when we emerged on the scene remains uncertain (recent fossil discoveries suggest it may have happened over 300,000 years ago, a hundred millennia earlier than we originally thought), but whenever it was, most of our species’s history of existence would have played out on the so-called “Dark Continent”. It would have been no earlier than 70,000 years ago — and possibly as soon as 55,000 years ago — when the ancestors of all people outside of Africa would wander out of the continent and colonize the rest of the habitable world.

This would not have been the first dispersal of hominin apes out of Africa, mind you. Much in the press has been made of the fact that between 1–7% of modern human ancestry outside our ancestral continent comes from the descendants of earlier emigrants such as the Neanderthals and Denisovans. What may not be so widely publicized, however, is that the famous “Out of Africa” migration between 70–55,000 years ago would not have been the last movement of Homo sapiens from Africa into Eurasia and beyond, either. There is, in fact, a plethora of compelling evidence that humans from Africa continued to venture out and leave a permanent genetic mark on the ancestry of their Eurasian kin— even the “white” peoples of Europe.

I don’t mean a light dash, either. Almost one third of European ancestry descends from African admixture within the last 55,000 years.

As early as 1997, population geneticist Luigi Luca Cavalli-Sforza observed in Genes, peoples, and languages that the ancestry of Europeans could be characterized as 2/3 Asian and 1/3 African. More recently, Jeffrey D. Wall and colleagues reported in 2013 that East Asian people had a higher proportion of ancestry from Neanderthals than did Europeans. Since Neanderthals are known to have lived in Europe and the Middle East but not East Asia, it seems unlikely that the ancestors of East Asians had any more contact with Neanderthals than those of Europeans. It would, however, make sense if the proportion of Neanderthal ancestry in Europeans got driven down by admixture with people with little to no such ancestry — namely, people from Africa.

In 2012, a population genetics blogger with the pseudonym “Etyopis” ran the ancestry of almost 3,000 individuals around the world through the program ADMIXTURE, measuring how much of their ancestry was of relatively recent African origin versus how much of it descended from the initial “Out of Africa” migration. His results revealed that between 28–29% of his European subjects’ ancestry was of recent African origin. This held true for European nationalities as different from one another as the Spanish, Italians, French, Slovenians, Lithuanians, and White American citizens from Utah.

In addition, African genetic haplogroups pop up quite often in some European populations. For example, almost 25% of Greek men carry the originally African Y-chromosomal haplogroup E.

That such discoveries would surprise most people of European descent is a given. It would certainly be ironic given the infamous history of white supremacists (or white nationalists, or alt-rightists, or whatever euphemism they want to be called these days) decrying “racial miscegenation” and “non-white immigration” as threats to Western civilization. However, even those who don’t subscribe to such ideological racism might still wonder when and how this African ancestry would have entered the European gene pool.

Most of it probably happened sometime before the first appearance of agriculture in Europe during the Neolithic period (7000–1700 BC).

Back in 1971, physical anthropologist J. Lawrence Angel wrote in The People of Lerna that the skeletal remains of Neolithic peoples in Greece and Macedonia showed “Negroid” physical traits common to African people, which he speculated had arrived in the region from the Nile Valley of Egypt and Sudan. More recently in 2005, C. Loring Brace claimed that the remains of a prehistoric Middle Eastern people called the Natufians — among the immediate predecessors to the first farmers in the Fertile Crescent and then Europe— showed “unexpected ties” to African populations.

Such ties between the Natufians and African populations may not be limited to skeletal features. Archaeologists such as Ofer Bar-Yosef and Graeme Barker describe the primitive tools the Natufians used as similar to those of earlier populations along Africa’s northern coast, even speculating that these similarities could attest to African technological influences if not a full-blown migration.

If the skeletal and archaeological data hinted at recent African admixture in the first farmers of the Fertile Crescent and their European offshoots, later genetic data from remains such as these would confirm it — even if the geneticists haven’t always realized it.

When analyzing ancient DNA extracted from various prehistoric remains in 2014, Iosif Lazaridis concluded that the first farmers to appear in Europe had 44% of their ancestry derived from a population he called “Basal Eurasian”, characterized by an almost complete absence of the Neanderthal ancestry that all non-African people have inherited today. He would later find in a second study that approximately half of the ancestry in Natufian and early Neolithic Middle Eastern populations came from this “Basal Eurasian” heritage.

Common sense alone would imply that this so-called “Basal Eurasian” component must actually be African. After all, it is the indigenous peoples of Africa, not anywhere in Eurasia or the rest of the habitable world, who have little to no Neanderthal ancestry. Yet, in a sense, Lazaridis’s label might only be partly wrong. One of the ramifications of the “Out of Africa” theory is that not all African people will be equally related to those outside the continent. Instead, those Africans from whom non-Africans splintered off (i.e. populations in the northeastern region of the continent) would have a greater genetic affinity to those non-Africans than would other Africans. And indeed, genetic research has revealed that native Northeast African ancestry is genetically closer to that of non-Africans than is ancestry from, say, West or Central Africa (the ancestry of aboriginal peoples from southernmost Africa, who speak Khoisan languages, is the furthest removed of all). This means that Northeast Africans really would represent a population basal to non-Africans (hence “Basal Eurasian”).

It is very likely, then, that the “Basal Eurasian” ancestry identified by Lazaridis and his colleagues actually comes from a native Northeast African population that stayed home on the continent for tens of millennia before moving into the Middle East and giving rise to the Natufians between 12,500 and 9500 BC. This African ancestry would have been absorbed and inherited by the Fertile Crescent’s Neolithic populations before they spread into Europe. With them would have arrived farming, animal husbandry, and the majority of the recent African ancestry that all modern Europeans possess.

This is not to say that Africans did not influence European ancestry after that point in the Neolithic. For example, skeletal remains with African characteristics have been uncovered in Roman-era sites in Britain, such as Leicester and York. We have also found a skull with a mixture of African and European features in a tomb in Ephesus, Turkey — it may belong to the famous Cleopatra’s (half?) sister Arsinoe. Given the influence of the Hellenistic and Roman civilizations around the Mediterranean basin in classical antiquity, it is not surprising that native Africans would have entered their population upon being incorporated into their empires.

For that matter, the Middle East may have also received influential African immigration even long after the time of the Natufians. Genetic data indicates the introgression of African ancestry into populations in Armenia around 3800 BC. It is around this same time period that linguists believe the Semitic languages (e.g. Hebrew, Arabic, and ancient Phoenician) would have appeared in the region. Since we know that Semitic is one branch of the larger “Afroasiatic” language phylum which first emerged in Northeast Africa, it seems likely that ancestral Semitic’s development in the Middle East is linked to the contemporaneous influx of additional African ancestry as far north as Armenia. In other words, it would have been yet another wave of Africans who brought the progenitor language of Semitic there.

And then, of course, there’s the historical incorporation of the Syro-Palestinian coast into two African empires, those of ancient Egypt and its Sudanese neighbor Kush.

All this history is important not only for its potential use for trolling white supremacists and eugenicists. It also attests to a little-appreciated influence of African people on the cultures of ancient Europe and the Middle East. Too often, Eurocentric accounts of history have regulated Africa and its indigenous peoples to the sidelines of importance, with one of the few exceptions being a de-Africanized misrepresentation of Egypt. The knowledge that Africa was not only the birthplace of all humankind, but also a major influence on the so-called cradles of Western civilization, should be one of many reasons to push it back into the spotlight of history that it deserves.

#africa #african #europe #european #out of africa #ancestry #genetics #population genetics #admixture #dna #anthropology #archaeology #black people #people of color #poc #bipoc #essay #writing

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zuzuslastbraincell · 3 years

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tagged by the wonderful issy @outtamywayskinny (iconique url!) to answer these thirty delicious questions. yum!

name/nickname: sasha / alex / ash / sash, or some forbidden combination of those

gender: lmao

star sign: libra

height: 5′9″ or 175cm because I’m a bastard who believes in rounding up

time: 20:58 CET

birthday: 2nd october baby!

favorite band(s)/group(s): godspeed you! black emperor, liturgy, the soft moon, sonic youth, dinosaur jr, fugazi, system of a down (listen i’ve been jamming to toxicity a bunch recently... we love to hate george bush here), depeche mode, moss icon, a tribe called quest, public enemy, tom waits, mewithoutYou, mother mother, run the jewels, lightning bolt, fleet foxes, protomartyr, fuck buttons, radiohead (sorry)

favorite solo artist(s): chelsea wolfe, fiona apple, baths, mitski, patti smith, courtney love, noname, pj harvey, courtney barnett, steve albini (just anything he touches really), lingua ignota, MF DOOM, madvillain, kanye west’s early work only (again sorry but the college dropout is so good). i used to love grimes and azealia banks more than anything but time has proven me a fool on both fronts (more grimes than ab). i miss 2013 where i just listened to 212 and oblivion on repeat guilt-free.

song stuck in my head: ghost by gouge away. love to listen to a female vocalist scream her lungs out honestly.

last movie: bridget jones’ diary (2001) which is fascinating from a sociological point of view imo

last show: still watching adventure time season 7 with the hope of catching up to see obsidian and make my 2012 bubbline loving heart explode

when did i create this blog: august 2020

what do i post: rambling headcanons, occasional funny posts, takes that range from lukewarm to haute (coutre), other people’s cool art, links to my ao3 page (my writing is good), complaining (i love complaining)

last thing googled: “mace windu lightsaber.” i’m listening to A Civilised Age which is an EXCELLENT clone wars podcast and they were all discussing what lightsabers they’d have so i googled to check what designs they were talking about. so basically. nerd shit.

other blogs: @sashacore (art, politics, personal stuff), @profanetools (elder scrolls sideblog, lesbian dwarf zone)

do i get asks: yes but i dread every single one since i put on anon

why did i choose this url: it’s funny (to me, at least, i can’t tell if my jokes are good nine times out of ten)

following: 700 or something because i compulsively follow people back

followers: 398

average hours of sleep: ranges between 5 to 9 hours but regardless i’m always still tired

lucky number: 77

instruments: clarinet but i haven’t played it in years :(

what am i wearing: a new hope star wars t-shirt (i am visibly doing a shrug emoji but i’m too lazy to copy-paste so imagine it in your mind’s eye) a plaid shirt over that, poorly fitting mens jeans, chipped black nail varnish. very par for the course for sasha.

dream job: god just. someone pay me to write please.

dream trip: interrail around central europe OR i’d really like to do a tour of china, since i think it’s far more diverse and varied than most people give it credit for

favorite food: pizza, but specifically the 3,50€ takeaway pizza from the small southern italian town i lived in for a year in 2018 with the local style of fluffy crust / thin base. fucking divine. never again will i get that quality:price ratio. never again.

nationality: copying what issy says: “i’m from- 😐e- 😰 eng- 🤢 england 🤮” except i can’t say actually say i’m english since my mum is glaswegian it’d be death on sight, whoops! (i think she resents the fact that i’m english lol). but i am to my scottish family as james derry girls is to derry, if that makes sense. i refer to myself as bri’ish usually because it is accurate even if there are certain class connotations to calling yourself british vs. english (it’s a whole Thing).

favorite song: just one??? okay fine. fine. it’s chelsea wolfe’s flat lands.

last book read: i’m still reading beloved which is incredible but i’m also reading mort by terry pratchett which is a good read

three fictional universes you’d like to live in: 1. the one where i am mentally well 2. the one without capitalism 3. i think it’d be fun to airbend personally.

not tagging anyone but big love if you want to do this yourself!

#i am feeling very anxious this evening so this was a wonderful distraction thank you

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loquaciousquark · 4 years

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I hope you're doing well! I know you posted about a stressful situation last month, and I hope it's resolved itself. Sending good wishes you you and Hamlet!

Thank you so very much for checking in on me! I really do appreciate it. An update to that post under the cut.

Carol, who moved in with me on May 28, is still here. Right now, we have set a tentative move-out goal of the first or second week of August, but this is pending an apartment application that she hopes to finalize on Monday and a job situation that is a complete mess.

Basically, according to my limited understanding, Carol is licensed to teach in Florida. Alabama has a reciprocity clause with Florida, but it must be applied for. Carol has recently begun this process, but her teaching license(s?) is (are?) set to expire in December unless she passes certain exams. She’s already passed one for...general middle and high school teaching, I think, but failed a math exam. She has an art history exam Monday afternoon and expects to pass. I hope so, because she’s been doing nothing but watching Netflix and shopping for houses for the last few days in her new 2017 Jeep Cherokee.

I remain unspeakably grateful to my parents for teaching me financial literacy, because until I witnessed Carol’s decision-making, I had no idea how hard it was for some people to not spend money unwisely.

As a reminder, Carol is dead broke. She has $153,000 in debt across student loans, medical bills, Czech and US taxes, and some personal loans she would like to repay to friends for helping her. She is unemployed and has no support from her family and has relied on couch surfing at friends’ and acquaintances’ homes since last summer for housing. Since moving in with me, she has been trying to find somewhere to live that would accept her with all her debt and her nonexistent US employment history for the last ten years. Based on what she’s said, I think she has about $9k in the bank--or did, until last week.

In short, she needs a car, a job, and a home, and as far as I can tell she doesn’t care which order they come in.

Two weeks ago, she was offered a position in a rural town about 30 minutes from where I live. It’s a small, very country town which desperately needs a special education teacher, something I think Carol really does have a passion for. However, because she hasn’t finished the reciprocity licensure application yet, they’re having a lot of roadblocks with her paperwork, compounded by the fact that when she left Prague last year, she left all her important documentation behind: things like her birth certificate, her social security card, and her letters of recommendation, which for some reason she did not have electronic backups of. The principal has been trying to get what she needs from Carol for two weeks. Carol is constantly saying that things are “in process” but has nothing to show for it.

As far as we can tell, the job is still hers, but the school year starts August 13th and she still hasn’t been approved by the Board of Education because the paperwork is still not finished on her end. She did not attempt to replace her birth certificate or social security card until they needed it for the application. (Her friend in Prague--and I am beginning to realize she uses the word “friend” for anyone she’s met longer than sixty seconds), who frantically packed up all her belongings when she realized she would not be able to go back to the city, cannot ship her belongings or go through them for the important paperwork until next summer, as she and her husband are currently vacationing in Rome for a year.

Carol decided last night she is also going to apply for some online Department of Defense position--I didn’t understand the details and don’t really want to know, except that it’s also teaching and some administration. We’ll see how it works out. She is growing increasingly annoyed at the principal’s requests for paperwork completion, which baffles me.

So, job: shrug? Maybe?

Car next, then, but this whole mess also goes back to the financial literacy thing. My parents have always been extremely frugal (pennywise, as my dad would say), and from childhood they made it very clear to us to not buy things you couldn’t afford. They’ve never had a car payment in my memory, and they paid off their house about ten years ago. This means they drove a lot of junkers for a very long time, and for a very long time we had very few vacations, but now they’re fully financially stable and debt-free and my mom has a car that she drove off the lot brand new that they paid cash in hand for.

If I had been in Carol’s situation, I would have found a cheap, mostly reliable used car that probably wasn’t going to explode on me and drive that as long as I could while saving up for housing. I did in fact drive her to look at several used cars, most of which would have been even outside my expected budget (hers, as it happens, is larger even than that, because one of her overseas friends was willing to contribute $5000 to the cost of a vehicle). (I paid $6500 for my current car, a 2004, in college in 2012 with 70,000 miles on it at the time, and have driven it ever since.)

She rejected all of them because they did not have good “energy” and “feelings.” One she was willing to buy at $3700, but told the seller to go pay for his own inspection (once I explained to her what mechanical inspections were as a concept), so they ghosted her. She also is extremely afraid of head gasket failure--I don’t know why, since she knows nothing about cars--and has assumed all vehicles she has driven are on the verge of it, so after the first week she refused to even look at a vehicle without a warranty.

This means she exclusively limited herself to used dealership options, which I’m just going to come right out and say was monumentally stupid. I don’t know if any car dealers follow me, so I’m sorry if I am misperceiving this, but in my experience almost every dealer I’ve gone to has been aggressive, manipulative, and extremely predatory in their interest rates. I cannot think of a riskier course of action in abject debt than to try to cut a deal with a car dealer for the sake of a warranty I doubt will cover that much truly expensive failure in the long run anyway.

On Thursday, Carol bought a $20,000 2017 Jeep Cherokee from a dealership down the road. I don’t know what she put down. I do know she did not use her friend’s money (why not??) and I know her interest rate on the car loan is 4%, which she is extremely proud of and which horrifies me. She also “persuaded” them into a limited warranty that will cover the vehicle up to 100,000 miles (currently at 42k, and they ~only offer it for cars under 40,000 miles~). I can’t tell you how bad an idea I think all this is.

Thursday night, as she was regaling me with stories of her negotiating prowess, she also tells me she has decided to buy a house. She’s sick of renting, and somehow, someone somewhere managed to get her approved for up to $120,000 in a home loan. She already has $150k in debt, another $20k from the car, and now wants to buy a house. She was delighted that she could make the minimum 7% down payment, even though it would wipe out every cent she has left and leave her less than $500 to her name for moving expenses, utilities, food, title registration, etc. afterwards.

She doesn’t even have a secure job yet.

However, this plan seems to have fallen through. She went out with a realtor several times this weekend and came home the last time in great, heaving sobs, because she can’t find the 3bed 2bath she wanted in her price range. (For reference, most homes in this area go between 200k - 250k right now for 2-3bed 2ba, and the closer you get to the city--I have about a 20 minute commute--the higher it gets. My next door neighbor sold her 3bed 2.5ba for >300k three months ago, and Carol knew this.) She was absolutely devastated that the only things in her range were “tiny little ugly flipped houses” and “the ghetto.” The realtor basically said she wasn’t going to waste any more of her time. Carol repeatedly told me how grateful I should be that I got in at the price point I did a few years back, because no “normal people” could ever afford to break into the market again.

I tried to tell her that it was because I lived in with a roommate in very cheap housing and then a cell of a 1bed 1ba apartment for eight years while I saved money, but if nothing else, I’ve learned I’m not allowed to compare our situations or histories or offer advice of any kind except “go ahead and buy what you want,” because that only makes her cry harder. In the end, she has decided to give up on the house for now and settle for the absolute last thing in the world she wanted, an apartment with a lease.

To be honest, until she has a signed contract in hand, I half-expect this lease to fall through as well. I have tried to offer what I think is sensible advice and been ignored or rebuffed. I have tried to offer a sympathetic ear and ended up with her sobbing uncontrollably on me--heaving, body-wracking sobs--over and over again with me trapped in my own home, providing endless emotional support for a girl I don’t even like. I have tried to encourage her to do the things she wants to do, since she’s going to do them anyway, and when she gets “negative energy” after the purchases (buyer’s remorse, I think, that one little inkling of sense saying maybe it wasn’t a great idea to buy a $20,000 car or an $1100 brand new iPhone without a job), she blames it on the exact thing I said I thought might be good and makes me feel like I have now directly contributed to a negative outcome after poor decision-making.

For the record, when she says these things to me she is not saying, and has never said, them directly at me. She has never blamed me in any way for a negative outcome. She is not consciously trying to manipulate me or abuse me or take advantage of my help. She has never once asked me for money or job connections or for me to use any of my stability to unfairly or unethically get her something she needs. She is just completely absorbed in her own (rightfully absorbing) mess of a situation, and I think just completely unaware of how much of an emotional black hole she has become. There are no problems except her problems. There are no needs except her needs, and everyone around her has to understand how hard she has it at all times.

So, we’ll see. I am praying that the apartment works out next week. The owner seems to want to work with her, which is a hopeful sign. Good thoughts would be appreciated.

Aside from all of this, work has gotten extremely complicated. I’m not going to go into all of it now, but one of my jobs is to create an extremely detailed schedule for students in clinic. This is used to schedule patients in each service--if we have this many students, we can have this many patient slots per half-day, etc. Last week, two students were out unexpectedly, one who broke her arm the day before she was supposed to begin, and one who had a terrible anxiety attack and thought the symptoms were actually COVID. That student was tested and cleared negative, but Student Health requires a two-week quarantine anyway, so she was not allowed to return.

This meant that we now had multiple patients per day with no one to see them. We tried to reschedule as many as we could, but we still ended up with multiple overbooks. This is extremely stressful for me as both a provider, an instructor, and a human being who hates having other people wait on her in a professional capacity. We got through the week, but not without several painful bumps, and it’s looking like there will be more soon.

I also woke up to an email this morning that one of my favorite students (yes, I have favorites, I’m sorry), had a completely unexpected death in the immediate family and had to rush home. This is a very, very sweet, very smart girl who has worked unbelievably hard over the past year to do well in this program and in my courses, and I am just devastated for her. One of her friends is willing to cover her clinic, so the impact will be minimal on that side, but to have this happen during this country’s hellhole handling of this pandemic...I can’t even imagine it.

All of this isn’t even touching COVID. The President’s side has won in that sense--I don’t even register the numbers anymore--but as of last week our dean sent out messaging that implied that with our state’s failure to contain the spread, new discussions were going to be happening soon regarding our August start. We already had committed to full hybrid scheduling: all lectures online, in-person labs only where absolutely necessary to continue advancement in the program, and those labs limited to two per room with full PPE, but if they decide even that can’t happen, I don’t know what the fuck I’m going to do. I cannot make competent doctors over Zoom. I can’t. At some point they have to touch other people and look at other people’s eyes. They have to be able to check real, in-person blood pressure. They have to look at genuine eye movements and ocular surfaces in person and I cannot and will not let them enter clinic until they have the practice and the time and the practicals behind them. I fucking refuse to endanger the public for sixty years because someone in an office somewhere decided a timetable is more important than a patient keeping their ability to see, and I’m ready to fight administration on this if they try to push it.

But if I win the fight, what next? They just...don’t enter clinic next year. They don’t enter my program. I don’t know what they do in the meantime, as this lab meets four mornings a week and the lecture twice. The course is delayed until next year or whenever we have the virus under control again, and suddenly my fall semester sure looks like I’ll be being paid to stay at home and count carpet fibers. I don’t think they’ll fire me--no one else wants to teach my course anyway--but if I win this fight I might put myself right into furlough in the process.

I could be borrowing trouble, I know. They could come back and say that after review, our system and safety protocols (all extremely conservative) are indeed safe enough and we can proceed as we want. They could say that our limited in-person option for lectures (we have several gigantic lecture halls that could easily socially distance) is the only thing that needs to go. They could say that we just need to have smaller lab groups--hellish on me, but doable.

But it’s one more element of stress in my life that I just can’t handle worrying about right now, which is why I’ve been bouncing back and forth between random fics and oneshots (that mermaid one was feverishly written on a single evening Carol spent at her mom’s house) and pouring an ungodly amount of hours into Animal Crossing. At least there I have some control over what happens next.

Sorry, guys. I know this is not the happy update I was hoping for. I’ll try to check in again next month and we’ll see where things end up.

#quark rambles #carol #coronavirus for ts #covid-19 for ts #update post #not a happy one for those who can't handle that right now #anonymous #quark replies

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dansnaturepictures · 3 years

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07/01/2021-Part 2 of 2: Walk at Riverside Park, the ten pictures in this photoset are different to the ones I tweeted tonight

Following on from my previous blog we walked at the local Riverside Park along the River Itchen during my birthday afternoon, and it another wonderful wildlife especially birdwatching and photography walk for me this week off. This began at the start of the walk when we were thrilled to spot a lovely Grey Wagtail flying around a shore type area and across the water by Woodmill a part of the area I showed in one of my photos on Twitter with water rushing from the mill which I don’t believe I have seen here before. This bright and beautiful very yellow bird was another year tick for me, and one I was delighted to get as after three consecutive years of seeing this bird further upstream beside the same river on my work lunch breaks in Winchester I am obviously not going to be going there as I am working from home as I have been since March so it was less of a bird that felt certain in the early weeks of the year this time around. So it was a relief to see this bird I love so much, my year list now sits on 95 just one behind how many bird species I saw all year in 2012 and my second highest ever amount of birds seen on this date after this time last year in which at Slimbridge where if things were different this year we would have been going again for my birthday as I said the other day my 2020 year list reached treble figures. I am thrilled especially given the circumstances this year that I have been able to get quite close to that again already! I felt we have been so lucky on our walks to exercise to see so many fantastic species. Its quite a nice thought looking at my records all bar two of my first sightings of Grey Wagtail in a year have been along the River Itchen be that here, Bishopstoke or Winchester so that was interesting and feels nice. We saw another Grey Wagtail further on in the walk too as I tweeted a picture of.

As we moved on I as I said in my previous post about today loved trying out my new 70-300 Nikon lens. Tasked primarily with capturing landscapes and sky scenes, those beautiful views I see when out or at home which I want to capture to remember and like sharing I rather thought it seems to do very well at that. Such pictures I took with it include the first, fourth, sixth, eighth, ninth and tenth in this photoset all of which I was pleased with how they came out I think they were of a pleasing quality and this lens as I said in my last post does seem an upgrade from the previous lens I had that just simply got too old and stopped working. But as we walked on I saw signs today that this may not be a landscape only lens and for the first time in a while I may have this lens which I may term as normal meaning general could be used for other subjects. When a Robin was so nearby instead of reaching for my big zoom lens which I use for all birds and mammals usually I had a go with this one and I felt the quality was good I did tweet this picture on Dans_Pictures. When as I speak about in a minute a Redwing flew into trees a bird I don’t have an extensive record of photographing over the years in case it flew off before I could get the big lens out of my bag and on I took a picture with this one on 300 and then it did stay for me to get a different angle with the big lens and I could see little difference in quality between them. My macro lens didn’t make the bag for today’s walk with my bridge camera included too, this len’s shape especially and possibly weight could make days where I bring my DSLR and normal lens, big lens, macro lens and bridge camera instead of either/or from the latter two could increase, but this lens proved able to take pictures of flowers and berries and some at home when I was playing around earlier too that I would take with my macro lens quite well. So I think this is a great option for me on days I don’t bring many lenses or those moments where I’m just not ready with the right lens and could really alongside the landscapes do its job as a general lens. I am so happy and as I said in my last blog so thankful I was gifted this lens by my whole family today. I took the second and fifth pictures in this photoset of Mute Swan in nice light and Black-headed Gulls with my new lens.

As we walked on I realised I had rather under-celebrated the general bird value of this place alongside the water birds I know its brilliant for on the river as I saw a variety of woodland species, Nuthatch and then whilst taking in more great Blackbirds after this morning and Robin I was thrilled to see the Redwings come through. Brilliant views of these striking, so well marked and coloured and beautiful birds, absolute stars of any winter here. It was easy to see why them and Blackbirds were around today with berries their favourite food visible too. This felt like one of the most exceptional wildlife watching moments of my week off with a bird I saw for the first time in 2021 at Blackwater in the New Forest on Sunday, and one that presented great photo opportunities that really stood out today I tweeted pictures of these birds.

Also as we walked on we were delighted alongside probably into the hundreds of Feral Pigeons gathered beside the water a common sight here which was interesting as I tweeted photos of adding well to the varied pigeon and dove experience at home today as I mentioned in my last post to see the group of Black Swans here. Five in total we saw today, mixing with the Mute Swans and Mallards just before Cobden Bridge which is shown in the fourth picture. It was brilliant to make out their alluring colours, my favourite colour scheme of all and fantastic to watch these beautiful birds - considering this whilst ignoring the facts of whether they should be here or not - for a few minutes. They are always such elegant and entertaining ones to watch as with all swans but these are nice being a bit more petite. There is a great thrill about seeing these birds I saw them elsewhere last year after a few years of seeing this colony here so I was pleased to see them today and I took the third picture in this photoset of one. Also whilst walking we got a brilliant Common Gull view among many Black-headed, Herring and Great Black Backed seen today another real star bird of this week my fourth sighting of them in 2021 this was and this view it was nice to see their greenshank-esque greenish legs and as a bird I have become more familiar with on identification within our family with my Mum discuss with her how to tell them to the full extent of the bird instead of it just flying at a distance or swimming with its legs below water. I tweeted a picture of this gull.

We walked the other side of Woodmill a piece of the River Itchen we very often walked when I was a child when I first started to love this river so I know it so well but had not seen the area for years, it was amazing how short a walk it now felt this area shown in the last three pictures in this photoset. Here we saw a few more star birds of the week, including many Little Grebes always a fairly different I find and great bird to see on a river a fast flowing type habitat and another New Year’s Day year tick in appropriate trees a Siskin a key moment today.

But best of all along this stretch we encountered one of the birds of my young year when we saw a sixth in 2021 for us of one of my favourites the Kingfisher which I took the seventh picture in this photoset and another that I tweeted of it. It is just phenomenal how many of these I have seen this year a true highlight of my week off. I think this is so synonymous of my theme of my 2021 start to my birdwatching and bird year list in that instead of perhaps a usual year where its a mad dash to see species at different locations and we may not dwell once we have seen certain ones but do still enjoy everything the week has been a local one for obvious reasons and not without its star species some usual others not so much but we’ve gone onto see species again and again something I am sure will not be exclusive to our week off, which has been brilliant and really allowed us to focus on the star birds of the week off something always so key to any time off I have to build up bird year lists this was the primary purpose of this time off I have obviously done a lot else as we are in lockdown so are just seeing birds from home and on daily exercise walks. The Kingfisher has been the star and this view today was a top one. And I’ve got form for seeing it on my birthday admittedly on more notable ones my 18th in 2015 at Lower Test and 21st in 2018 at Lymington to my 24th birthday today but its still a great link to one of my favourite birds and for what birthdays should be about really doing what one loves.

Wildlife Sightings Summary: My first Grey Wagtail of the year, one of my favourite birds the Kingfisher, Pied Wagtail, Woodpigeon, Feral Pigeon, Carrion Crow, Robin, Blackbird, Redwing, Nuthatch, House Sparrow, Starling, Siskin, Black-headed Gull, Common Gull, Herring Gull, Great Black Backed Gull, Little Grebe, Moorhen, Cormorant, Mute Swan, Black Swan, Mallard and Brown Rats.

I had a fantastic birthday today, it really was such a nice way to spend it within lockdown focusing on lots of great stuff. Thank you for all your wonderful birthday wishes and incredible support for my photos and posts today and this week. I hope you are all well.

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