#and a cast that is the WILDEST shit ever

[cononeillbreastingboobily]

One of the many many things I got hung up on when watching the Barbie movie was seeing Ncuti Gatwa, Emma Mackey and Connor Swindells and realising that this was the second to last time we were guaranteed to see them all in one production, given that Sex Education ends in just a little under two months :(

#barbie #barbie movie #barbie 2023 #ncuti gatwa #emma mackey #connor swindells #sex education #sex education cast #And yeah‚ the Sex Education alumni do sometimes appear in different things together #and yeah Ncuti is gonna be the next Doctor Who so here's hoping some of the cast of the show will guest star on DW #but STILL. like. there's no guarantee we are ever going to see other people from Sex Education anywhere else BUT in the show itself #tho holy shit the strings from some of the cast members lead to the the wildest of places #ted lasso. bbc ghosts. emma 2020. and now. this. #ough #I'm just havin a moment ova here 😭😭😭

[brofisting]

MY FRIEND, I ABSOLUTELY CAN!!!! 🥰 Starting from the beginning...

PART ONE: ORIGINAL FILMANIA PRODUCTION & FATE

It’s 2019-20, you’re Mile Phakphum Romsaithong, a very rich socialite who plays guitar. You’re bored and you’ve been thinking about getting into acting, and have been offered misc. BL casting opportunities before (1), but never really felt like any of them were For You, so you turned them down. 

Then, one day, you find out that there is a BL currently casting from the studio Filmania, where the male lead is based on you (2), at least your public persona/physically/whatever. Being a puppy of a man, you are delighted, and go read the script, and then the books, and decide you’ll go to the casting call for it.

At casting call, you re-meet Apo Nattawin Wattanagitiphat (3), who you went to college with and had a giant crush on (4). You guys hit it off IMMEDIATELY, chemistry unhinged, and get cast as Kinn and Porsche. Apo takes it, even though he has historically had a bad experience with the Thai acting industry (5). You are delighted by this incidence of FATE!!!!!!

PART TWO: IF YOU DON’T HAVE FATE ON YOUR SIDE STORE-BOUGHT IS FINE

The show gets dropped (6) Something something the authors, something something the company, whatever. I assume, if you are Mile, you are very sad! And if you’re Apo you’re also pretty sad, because it seemed like for once even with all the industry BS you had a cool dude on your side who you hit it off with, and it was gonna be a cool show. On the heels of that, if you are Mile, and have stacks of money, and see your college crush who is an unbelievable actor about to re-give up on acting and call it a wash, you are like, “wait, I have stacks of money and know everyone”.

So you, Mile, call up the head of the small talent agency you’re signed with, Be On Cloud, which is really just your buddy Pond Krisda Witthayakhajorndet in a fake mustache and a trench coat, and go, hey! So! Have you ever wanted to make television? I have a man here I CANNOT allow to be sad under any circumstances, and also, we’re really good at this and there’s an audience here.

PART THREE: BE ON CLOUD, KINNPORSCHE TAKE TWO!!!!

Pond, being just as unhinged as Mile, thinks about it for a second, and is like. Well. How different can making television be from running an event planning company, which is my real job (7). It’s just calling up a bunch of different guys who are good at their jobs and putting them in one place. And I know so many different guys! Let’s do it!

They get the rights (handwaves this I don’t know anything about it) and jump into production. They get their shit together UNREALISTICALLY quickly (6), and on top of that, since they’re starting from scratch and they’re just A Bunch Of Guys led by Pond and Mile, they decide that their priorities are #1 making art and #2 making Apo happy. With regards to #1, they rework the script (8), hire the best acting coaches money can afford, and put the cast through character-building and intimacy workshops. With regards to #2, they toss out all the industry bullshit that has sucked for him in the past -- no more crew/cast hierarchy (9), no more homophobia on-set (10), no more fake fanservice (11).

FINALE: MIRACLES IF U BELIEVE ETC.

Magically, it turns out, when you create a great working environment, you get really, really good TV!!!!! Which means that their unhinged plan succeeded beyond their wildest dreams, and now Mile & Apo are internationally famous superstars who hang out 24/7 with their squad of 16 close friends, and we get to watch them do it. And it has been, genuinely, a fucking privilege. 

To end this tale with a personal note, one of the reasons I allowed myself to get so invested in KinnPorsche so fast is because it was evident from every aspect of it -- the show itself, the BTS, the actors interviews -- that the people working on this show both really cared about the show and were genuinely having a great time. There is nothing like seeing art made by people who are passionate about making it! 

Their enthusiasm, their hard work, and their obvious enjoyment of the process & each other’s company are what made me feel like I could trust what they were making, because you could tell no matter what else it was, it was from the heart. And that’s really something special! Especially in this day and age!! 

And even though they could pull it off this time because of the circumstances (financial and social), I hope that it shows BL television CAN be made in a way that keeps the actors comfortable and safe and happy, and encourages change for the better across the industry as a whole. KinnPorsche shouldn’t be the last wild BL passion project; it should be the first one of a new wave. (bangs gavel) Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

#THIS GOT OUT OF HAND SORRY #watch kinnporsche #kinnporsche #mile phakphum #apo nattawin #infodump #mangoamango

[chvoswxtch]

happy anniversary

pairing: matt murdock x fem!reader

summary: matt shows up late for your anniversary dinner, so you decide to teach him a lesson in waiting.

warnings: cursing, drinking, lil angst, some fluff, explicit sexual content (minors dni), blasphemy (?), little bit of sub!matty

word count: 5.9k

a/n: once again, no one asked for this. I am just once again being a selfish slut for matthew murdock. also, i'm not catholic (nor do I know that much about catholicism) so if the religious things mentioned are totally wrong or offensive, I apologize. as always, feedback is welcomed/appreciated!

The candles I had lit several hours ago were now completely liquified pools of amber. I tapped my nail against the side of my fifth glass of wine as I watched the flames dance over the melted wax, their glow casting shadows on the one and a half empty bottles of onyx glass. I could hear the faint ticking of a clock as I brought another tart taste of sangiovese to my lips. The flavor profile was sweet in comparison to my own bitterness. I tapped the corner of my phone to illuminate the lockscreen. 10:57pm. No missed calls. No voicemails. No text messages.

The apartment was silent apart from the ticking of a clock, and the crackling of the wooden wick as it burned. If I closed my eyes, I could pretend there was a fireplace in front of me. I could no longer smell the warm clove spice and toasted cranberry of the candle I had been burning all evening, or the fresh aroma of the meal that was still neatly placed on the table. I couldn’t smell anything but the lack of his presence. I wasn’t turning in for the night until he came home. I didn’t care if I had to wait until sunrise. He may escape the dangers that were waiting for him around every dark alley, but he wasn’t escaping my wrath tonight.

I heard the drawn out sound of squeaking hinges as the door to the rooftop was pulled open before carefully latching back into place. Heavy boots thudded against worn wood as they descended the staircase down into the living room, stopping just shy of the final step. Tension hung thick in the air like an ominous fog, and I waited impatiently for whatever excuse was about to tumble from his lips.

“Sweetheart.”

“Matthew.”

Even with the cowl covering most of his features, and the light cloak of darkness, I could see him wince. He knew I only called him by his full name when I was upset with him. I watched his Adam’s apple bob when he swallowed thickly, bringing his gloved hands up to remove the helmet as he cautiously took the last step down into the living room. Normally the sight of his messy brown hair sticking up in odd places made me giggle and wanna run my fingers through it, but right now I wasn’t in a loving mood. His eyes blankly darted around, his head tilting to the side slightly as he gauged the scents and sounds filling the space.

“It smells amazing in here. You..you smell incredible.”

“Do you know why that is, Matthew?”

“Honey-”

“Because I took my time in the shower today. I was nearly in there for an entire hour. I am shaved and waxed beyond your wildest dreams. I am completely lathered in that raspberry iris lotion that you love so much, that you said makes my skin feel like silk. And you don’t even wanna know how much I spent on the red lace that’s under this dress. Not to mention, I also spent hours making your favorite dish, and dessert I might add, because you promised me you would be home tonight. And why did you promise that?”

“Because it’s our anniversary.”

“So you did remember. You just chose to forget.”

“It was just supposed to be a quick sweep-”

“Nothing with you is ever quick, Murdock. You promised me. I asked for one night, Matthew. One. Night.”

“Listen, tomorrow night I’ll-”

“No. Tomorrow night isn’t our anniversary. Tonight is.”

Matthew Murdock was usually able to talk and charm his way through anything. I had to admit, there were a few times it had even worked on me in the past. But I was not falling for his shit tonight. I didn’t want excuses. I didn’t want empty promises. I wanted to teach him a lesson he would never forget. 

“Please..let me make it up to you. There’s still time left of our anniversary, we can still have dinner and celebrate. Let me get changed, I’ll open a new bottle, and I’ll spend all night apologizing between your thighs.”

“Tempting. If you had been fifteen, or even thirty minutes late, but had called to let me know ahead of time you were going to be late, I might have taken you up on that offer. But right now, I don’t think you deserve my pussy, Murdock. I think..you deserve a little suffering.”

Matt’s jaw hardened at my words, and I could hear a quiet whine slip past his lips in the silence. He was usually the one in charge in our relationship, and normally I reveled in it. I loved nothing more than letting him take complete control, obeying his demands, feeling his large hands manhandle me into whatever positions he saw fit. I trusted him completely, and the reward was always overly generous. Matt was a very giving lover, so I let him take me however he wanted or needed knowing we would both reap the benefits of pleasure. But tonight, I would be the one doing the taking.

“Honey-”

“No.”

I downed the rest of my glass and set it down on the table, rising slowly from my seat and crossing the short distance to where Matt was standing. I turned to give him my back, gathering my hair and pulling it over my shoulder.

“Unzip me.”

Matt hsatily discarded his gloves, tossing them into the abyss of darkness haphazardly. He never touched me with his gloves on. He always said he liked to be able to feel me and never wanted anything in the way. His fingers quickly found the zipper of my dress and I felt his knuckles brush against my spine as he tugged the small piece of metal down the middle of my back. I could feel his warm breath against my shoulder, lips dangerously close to my neck. 

“I didn’t say you could kiss me, Matthew. Help me out of this dress.”

I could hear the hum of disapproval that sounded in his throat. He gently grasped at the straps on my shoulders and pushed the satin fabric down over my hips until it pooled around my ankles on the floor. As I stepped out of it, I turned around to face him.

“Sit down, Matthew.”

“Sweetheart-”

“I said sit down, Matthew.”

I could see the struggle written clearly all over his face. He wasn’t used to this, taking orders. Hell, neither was I. But I was going to make the most of it. He walked backwards slowly until the back of his knees hit the chair behind him, lowering himself into a perched position on the edge of the seat. I giggled softly as I took a few steps to stand in front of him.

“Oh, get comfortable, Matthew. You’re gonna be sitting there for a while. Now, give me your hands.”

He didn’t hesitate to raise his hands up into the direction of my voice. I gently wrapped my hands around his wrists and guided his palms to lay flat against the crimson lace teddy that covered my body. A soft sigh came from his parted lips as he began to move his hands slowly over the fabric, fingers gliding over every inch.

“No squeezing. No exploring. No lingering. I don’t want you to touch me. I just want you to feel what you’re missing. What’s been waiting on you for the past four hours. It’s your favorite shade of red, by the way.”

The whine that emitted from his lips went straight to my core. I finally understood what he meant when he would tell me how much he loved the noises I made, and how much of an effect they had on him. It made me feel incredibly powerful to hear him being needy.

“Angel..please. Let me-”

“No, Matthew.”

I pried his wanting hands from my body and let them fall onto his lap. Taking a few steps backwards, I sat down on the chair directly in front of him and sighed.

“You know, it’s really a shame. I was so excited for tonight. God, I was going to worship every inch of you. I was going to let you have me as many times as you wanted. Even when my body was begging for a break, I was going to beg you to keep going. I wanted to spend the entire weekend with you buried deep within me. But, I guess tonight didn’t mean as much to you as it did to me, so I’ll just have to take care of myself.”

“That’s not fair.”

“No, Matthew. It isn’t. It’s not fair that I’m going to have to get myself off when you and I know my fingers don’t feel as good as yours. When we both know they don’t reach as deep. But, you’ve left me no choice. You’re going to sit there, and you’re going to be quiet and listen. You will not touch yourself. I don’t want to hear any begging or any complaining. If you speak without permission, or move your hands an inch, I will leave you out here alone. I will lock myself in the bedroom, and you will have no choice but to listen, knowing you don’t get to touch me. If you’re a good boy, I might just have mercy on you. Understood?”

Matt’s cheeks and the tips of his ears had blushed a deep shade of rose. His mouth hung open slightly as he held onto every word. There was a quiet whimper that escaped when I called him a good boy, but I heard it, and it sent a fresh wave of arousal through me. Oh, so he has a praise kink too. 

“I-I understand.”

“Good boy.”

I grinned as his thighs tensed. I could already see a growing bulge straining against his suit pants. I moved my body towards the edge of the seat and pulled the fabric covering me to the side, completely exposing myself to him. I ran my middle finger up and down my slit slowly, collecting some of the wetness that had formed before bringing my middle and index finger up to rub languid circles around my clit. I sighed softly at the contact that I had been craving for hours. Matt groaned loudly as he listened to my movements. He told me once he always knew when I was turned on, that he could smell the arousal that soaked my panties and it drove him crazy. 

I flattened my palm against myself, slipping my middle finger just slightly inside my entrance as the pad of my index finger brushed against my sensitive nub. I whined softly, beginning to move my hips against my own hand as I felt myself grow wetter. Ever since Matt and I had gotten together, I hadn’t touched myself like this. I didn’t bother. Nothing felt as good as he did. He had memorized my body completely. He knew all of my sensitive spots, where to touch, where to tease, what I liked and what drove me crazy. 

“Can you smell how wet I am, Matthew?”

Matt’s hands balled into tight fists on top of his thighs. He was squeezing them so tightly, they were shaking slightly and his knuckles had turned stark white. His jaw was set in a hard line as he leaned his tense body forward slightly.

“Yes.”

“Can you hear it?”

“I can practically fucking taste it.”

I couldn’t help but grin at the growl that ripped from his chest at his response. Don’t get me wrong, I loved a sweet and romantic Matt. I adored when he took his time, held me close and whispered sweet things into my ear as he made love to me slowly while holding my hand. I loved feeling connected to him that way. I could feel how much he loved me and it made my heart swell. But God did I love a pissed off Matt. 

He was always calm and collected around everyone. He tried really hard not to let his irritations and temper show. But at night when he put on the suit, he got to let the devil out. All that pent up rage and frustration got taken out on the unlucky criminals of Hell’s Kitchen. But I was even luckier when he came home and still had some left to take out on me. I loved when he snapped and lost control. I knew how much he needed that release, but he didn’t understand how much I needed it too. I’ll never forget the night I was finally able to convince him to take it further.

“I trust you, Matt. I know you need this, and I want it. I’m not made of glass, Matty. You’re not gonna break me. Please..use me.”

That was all it took. Of course that didn’t stop him from apologizing afterwards no matter how much I told him he didn’t have to. Now, it was an unspoken thing between us. He didn’t even have to say it, or ask. I could tell as soon as he walked through that door after particularly rough nights what he needed, and it always sent a rush through me that what he needed was me. I was always ready for him, and he knew it.

“Wouldn’t you like to taste, Matthew?”

Matt closed his eyes tightly at my words. His chest had begun to rise and fall a little quicker now that his breathing had become erratic. If it weren’t for the tightness of his suit, I’d be able to see the perfect outline of his cock. I could tell just by the look on his face that he was painfully hard.

“I asked you a question, Matthew. Open your eyes and answer me.”

I didn’t recognize the demanding tone of my own voice. In my head, I was drawing from my own experiences with Matt from when he had been in more dominant moods. He opened his eyes slowly and let a deep breath out through his nose, spitting out his response through gritted teeth.

“Yes.”

“Yes what?”

“Yes I..I wanna taste.”

“Mm, that’s too bad. I would’ve let you have your fill all night, Matthew.”

I began to quicken my pace, now fully slipping my finger inside my entrance. I let out a slow whine, but more due to frustration than pleasure. My fingers weren’t as long as Matt’s, and they didn’t reach as deep. I started to focus on swirling my index finger around my clit, applying pressure ever so often.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Matt’s hands fly up to grab at the collar of his suit, tugging at it softly with a grimace. I halted my actions as I narrowed my eyes over at him.

“Matthew.”

“Please..can I just take this off? I..it’s too hot. It’s making it hard to breathe.”

“Fine. Take it off.”

Matt didn’t need to be told twice, and I was frankly impressed at just how quickly the suit had been discarded. He let out a sigh of relief as he sat back in the chair, clad in only a pair of black boxer briefs that clung to his muscular thighs. I captured my bottom lip between my teeth as I took in the sight of his half naked form. 

“You can’t come like that.”

“Excuse me?”

“Sweetheart..I know you can’t make yourself come like that. Please, let me help. If you wanna tortue me, fine, but don’t make yourself suffer. Please..let me help.”

“I don’t need your help, Matthew. While I admit, I do come harder and easier with you, I did take care of myself before you came along. It just takes me longer. So, I suggest you be quiet..and patient.”

I began to move my fingers again, focusing the pads of my index and middle fingers on my aching clit. Part of me wanted desperately to give up and just let Matt take over, make him prove all night how sorry he was. But I was stubborn and hellbent on proving him wrong. 

“Baby..please. I-I’m sorry. It’ll never happen again, okay? I swear. Just please..please let me touch you. I need to touch you, sweetheart. I need to taste you. Please.”

“Matthew, this is your final warning to shut the fuck up.”

A strangled groan escaped Matt’s throat and filled the apartment as he threw his head back against the couch in frustration. He braced his hands on the armrests of the chair and gripped onto them so tightly I was certain they would snap. His entire body was rigid with pent up tension and I watched in awe when he started to slowly thrust his hips upwards into nothing. That sight had to be the hottest thing I had ever seen.

“You could come like this, couldn’t you? Just listening to me fuck myself on my fingers?”

Matt whined loudly as he turned his head in my direction. A sheen of sweat had already formed on his forehead and at the top of his chest. His tongue darted out to wet his lips as he sighed defeatedly.

“Yes.”

“Too bad.”

Matt’s eyes widened at my callousness, his lips parting in surprise.

“Sweetheart, I can’t-”

“Now Matthew, we’re playing by your rules, aren’t we? What do you tell me when I’ve been a bad girl and want to come?”

Matt collapsed against the chair and groaned, digging his fingertips into the fabric of the armrests. It wasn’t hard to see how much he detested the taste of his own medicine. I wondered for a moment how long he would actually last through the teasing. I thought about how much longer it would be before every ounce of self control Matt had was completely eroded, and he snapped and took control. At that moment I decided I really wouldn’t mind. I think we both knew when it came down to it, he was a lot stronger than me, and definitely faster. I wouldn’t even make it past the couch before he had his hands on me.

“Only good girls get to come.”

“Same rules apply. Only good boys get to come. And you haven’t been very good to me tonight, Matthew.”

“Angel please..I don’t know if I can hold it.”

“You’re a strong boy, Matthew. You’ll find a way.”

The internal conflict I felt only raged in intensity the longer I watched him. I hated seeing Matt in pain, or upset. I always wanted to comfort him and make him feel better. The world hadn’t always been kind to him, and I always felt like I needed to make up for that. Matt for a moment looked like he might cry, and I instantly worried that I had taken it too far.

“Matty?”

Matt’s head perked up at the change in my tone and the use of my usual calling for him. His head tilted to the side slightly as his eyes blankly stared over in my direction, brows slightly furrowed.

“Yes?”

“Do you want me to stop?”

I waited with bated breath for his response. I knew he was sorry. I could see how bad he felt about tonight. If he wanted me to stop, I would. I’d happily give in and let him take over.

“No.”

I was slightly taken back by the conviction in his voice. I stared over at him silently for a moment, suddenly feeling nervous as I nibbled at my bottom lip.

“Are you sure?”

“I’m sure. I can hold it. Go ahead, sweetheart.”

All my anger from earlier had completely flown out the window. All I wanted at that moment was him. I took a deep breath and got back to work with my fingers. I wanted to come as quickly as possible so that I could finally have him. I scrunched my brows as I began to rub furiously over my clit, whining as I applied more pressure. I could feel that familiar bubble building inside me, but it felt so far away. I dipped my fingers into my entrance to collect more of my wetness and pressed my fingers a little harder against my clit as I rubbed and moved my hips in time with my hand. Finally, it hit me. I moaned softly at the explosion of bliss and fell back against the chair. My orgasm was weak, but I didn’t care. I could finally have him.

I looked over to see him waiting as patiently as he could, panting softly and features contorted in need. I sat up slowly and licked my lips, letting my eyes wander shamelessly over his body.

“Come here, Matty.”

Matt let out the deepest sigh of relief and jumped to his feet, crossing the short distance between us and kneeling down in front of me. His hands grabbed onto the arm rests as he waited for my next instruction. 

“Open your mouth.”

His lips instantly parted, and I slipped two of my fingers that were coated in my release into his mouth. He closed his eyes and moaned as his tongue swirled around my fingers, collecting every drop from them. I whined as I watched him, feeling a fresh wave of need flood between my thighs. I giggled softly when he bit down gently on my index finger, a cheeky grin covering his mouth as he kissed the tips of both fingers.

“Mm, do you think you deserve to be forgiven?”

“No.”

I couldn’t help but laugh loudly at his instant reply, shaking my head as I brought my hand up to thread my fingers through his messy hair.

“Should’ve known better than to ask a Catholic that question.”

The grin on his lips stretched even further into that megawatt smile complete with dimples that made me weak in the knees. His hands hovered over the tops of my thighs, as if asking for silent permission. I gently grabbed onto his wrists and pushed them downwards, sighing at the feeling of finally having his hands on me.

“I think I need to pray for forgiveness.”

I arched one of my brows and smiled softly, tilting my head to the side curiously.

“Right now?”

“Right now.”

I knew religion was important to Matt, but I didn’t think a confession was needed right at this very moment. 

“Okay. I..suppose you better find an altar then.”

“I already have.”

Matt gently squeezed my thighs before slipping his hand in between them to part them slowly. My eyes widened in shock and I let out a gasp of surprise once his words finally clicked in my head. He shuffled closer on his knees, wetting his lips with his tongue once again before whispering huskily.

“May I?”

“Yes.”

As soon as the word left my mouth, my legs were thrown over his shoulders and Matt’s head was buried deeply between my thighs. I grabbed a small fistfull of his hair and cried out in astonishment when I felt his plump lips wrap around my clit and began to suck with fervor. His fingertips dug into the soft flesh of my thighs and I felt vibrations sent throughout my entire body every time he grunted against my pussy. Matt pushed me deeper into the chair as he tried to get as close as possible, nearly suffocating himself between my thighs. I was an absolute mess above him, moaning his name over and over like it was the only word I knew. I nearly lost it when I felt his tongue thrust inside of me and began to explore. 

“Fuck..Matty..right there..please!”

Matt shook his head violently and I screamed as his nose bumped against my clit repeatedly as he ate my pussy like it was his last fucking meal. In a matter of minutes I was coming apart on his tongue, white flashing behind my eyelids as Matt continued to devour me through my release. I clamped my legs around his head and grabbed onto the back of his neck, rolling my hips up against his face as I rode out the high he had brought me to. This orgasm hit me ten times harder than the measly one I had conjured, and I found myself struggling to keep up.

I whined when it all became too much and attempted to push at Matt’s shoulders as I unwrapped my legs from around his head, but he wasn’t having it. He only gripped tighter onto my thighs and continued his assault on my overly sensitive clit. I whimpered softly as I tugged at his hair roughly to get him to move.

“Jesus Matty, please. It’s too much.”

Matt chuckled as he pulled back slowly, licking every bit of my release off his lips. He rubbed soothing circles on my inner thighs as he sat up on his knees with a wicked grin.

“Sorry, sweetheart. I got carried away.”

“Carried away? Fuck, I can’t even see straight right now.”

“Well in that case, I suppose you can forgive me now.”

I slowly sat up and reached my hand out to push Matt’s sweaty hair away that was stuck to his forehead. I frowned slightly as my thumb brushed lightly over a faint bruise that was forming on his left cheekbone. He turned his head slightly to nuzzle his face into my palm, pressing a soft kiss to my wrist.

“I’m okay.”

“I know. I just..hate seeing you hurt.”

Matt gently grasped my wrist and brought my hand up to his mouth, pressing a featherlight kiss to each of my knuckles before he held my palm against his chest over his heart. I could feel it pounding against my palm as he held it there. Matt’s face contorted into an apologetic expression, a deep sigh sounding from his chest as he leaned in closer.

“I really am sorry about tonight, sweetheart. I promise, it’ll never happen again. I don’t ever want to hurt your feelings like that. I just..wanna keep you safe.”

“And I just want you, Matty. I just wanted one, normal night with you. You..you mean everything to me and I had this whole night planned out and then-”

“I ruined it. And I’m not done making up for it.”

“Well..good. Cause that was only like..one Hail Mary, and I’m pretty sure the standard is like..three. I think.”

“It’s five, actually. And that first one you did absolutely did not count.”

I felt my heart begin to thump against my ribcage in excitement. My cheeks immediately flamed with heat at the thought of what was still to come. Glancing down between us, I could see that Matt’s neglected cock was still straining against the confines of his tight briefs. I slipped my hand down his chest and lightly grasped at his cock through the fabric, causing Matt to hiss through gritted teeth.

“Honey, what about dinner? And dessert? You spent so much time on it, I don’t want it to go to waste. Besides, I have a gift for you.”

“The only gift I want right now Matty is the one I’m holding. Everything else can wait.”

I grabbed onto the back of his neck and pulled him in close as I crashed our lips together in a needy kiss. I greedily accepted Matt’s tongue in my mouth and moaned at the taste of myself on it. I dragged my nails against his lower stomach, causing his abs to contract as I dipped my hand into the waistband of his briefs once again to wrap my hand around his cock. He moaned into my mouth and it sent my mind into a frenzy.

He felt heavy in the palm of my hand, and warm. Everything about Matt was always so warm. I stroked my thumb along the underside of him, feeling the velvety smooth skin against my palm as I stroked him slowly. Matt hastily pushed his briefs down his thighs, sighing in relief to finally be freed from the confinements. 

“I wanna taste you.”

“Not now, sweetheart.”

“Matty, please.”

“You know how much I love having those pretty lips wrapped around me, but I’m not gonna last angel. Not after that little show you put on. I need to be inside you, right now.”

Matt wrapped his arm around my lower back and hooked his other underneath my knees, easily lifting me into the air as he stood and carried us over towards the kitchen. I felt goosebumps erupt over my skin as the cold of the cabinets hit my exposed back. I braced my palms against Matt’s chest to halt his movements quickly.

“Matty, please don’t rip this. It was really expensive.”

A devilish grin formed onto his plump lips as his hands slowly snaked up my thighs. He moved in closer until he was flush between my thighs, brushing his nose along my jaw as he nipped softly at my neck. I wrapped my legs around his waist and moaned quietly at the feeling of his lips at the base of my neck. It was one of my sweet spots, and he knew it. I shivered when I felt his hot breath fanning over the shell of my ear.

“Oh angel, you think I wanna rip this off when you look so beautiful in it? It’s staying on.”

Matt quickly shoved the fabric aside before pushing the blunt head of his cock through my folds. I let my head knock back against the cabinet as he pushed himself into me painfully slowly, inch by delicious inch. The sound of our moans mixed together once he had completely bottomed out. 

“Fuck honey, no matter how many times I ruin you, you’re always so fucking tight for me.”

“Just for you, Matty.”

Matt wrapped his arm around my lower back and pulled me closer towards the edge of the counter until our chests were flush together. He didn’t waste any time as he started to thrust his hips at a vigorous pace, his hand slipping between our bodies to press his thumb against my clit roughly. I whined loudly at the pressure and dug my fingernails deeply into his shoulder blades, no doubt leaving crescent shaped indentations.

“God..you always take my cock so well, don’t you sweetheart? This needy little cunt just grips me so fucking well.”

I couldn’t hardly speak. All I could do was hang on. The collision of Matt’s hips into mine and the feeling of his thumb working over my already sensitive nub was very quickly pushing me towards the edge, and I was ready to fall.

“This pussy was fucking made for me. You were made for me.”

“Made for you, Matty.”

I had no idea if I was making sense. I wasn’t even sure if I was speaking English. I tried so hard to stay grounded. I wanted to remember every single second of this, but Matt was brushing that spongy spot inside of me with precise accuracy with every powerful thrust of his hips and it only sent me higher and higher into another realm.

“Fuck sweetheart..not gonna..last much longer. I’ll make up for it later..I-fuck, I swear. I’ll take my time later, angel. Right now I need you to come with me. Can you do that for me, sweet girl?”

I wrapped my arms around Matt’s neck, bringing one hand up to cup his face as I pressed our foreheads together. I leaned in to press my lips to his in a passionate kiss, gently nipping at his bottom lip. I whined in pleasure when I felt his pace quicken at an inhuman speed, his thumb moving so fast over my clit it was practically vibrating.

“I..I love you, Matty.”

“I love you, my sweet girl. Come for me, baby. Let me feel you let go with me.”

My throat burned as I screamed loudly when euphoria finally hit, wracking thunderously throughout my body and drenching me in complete elation like a hurricane. I held onto Matt as tightly as I could, savoring the sound of his honey coated moans of my name that echoed in my ears as I felt him paint the inside of me with his sweet release. His hips stuttered as he spilled his seed over the garden within me, fingers no doubt leaving violet marks on my skin as he thrusted through the aftershocks of gratification.

I hid my face into the crook of his neck, inhaling a deep breath of his scent as I placed a gentle kiss to the spot right below his ear. I felt his strong arms wrap tightly around my waist, caging me against his chest. For a moment, we just held each other as our jagged breaths attempted to return to normal. I nuzzled my cheek against his, welcoming the slight burn of his scruff rubbing against my skin. 

“Happy anniversary, Matty.”

“Happy anniversary, my love.”

My heart expanded in my chest so wide at his words I thought it would bust through my rib cage. I pulled back slightly with a satisfied smile, brushing my thumb along the top of his strong cheekbone as I kept him close.

“Hungry?”

“I’m fucking starving.”

I giggled softly as I smoothed his messy brown hair back into place, leaning in to press a soft kiss to the tip of his nose.

“Fighting bad guys works up an appetite, huh?”

“Well that, and pleasuring you.”

I blushed profusely at his cheeky words, lightly smacking his chest as a deep laugh rumbled from within his chest. Matt’s large hand came up to gently cup my cheek, his thumb lightly tracing my bottom lip.

“But no, actually I could smell your cooking from several blocks away. It made my stomach growl, and then I realized how much time had passed since I had left, and how much trouble I was probably in.”

“You know, for a lawyer, you cause an awful lot of trouble.”

Matt’s dazzling grin stretched across his beautiful lips, those charming dimples ever-present as he laughed and nodded his head.

“True, but I try to make up for it. Speaking of, what do you say I heat up dinner and open a new bottle, we’ll have dessert, I can give you your gift, and then we can resume my apology tour?”

“Hmm, I don’t know if you’ve learned your lesson yet, Murdock. But it’ll give you time to sit and think about what you’ve done.”

“Oh trust me, I’ll never make you wait again.”

“Don’t like the tables being turned, huh?”

Matt smirked and dipped his head, leaving a burning trail of kisses along my jawline and down my neck until he reached my sweet spot. His teeth gingerly grazed my skin as he sucked softly at my flesh.

“Oh angel, I don’t mind you taking control. That was actually really fucking hot. I just really hated not being able to touch you like I wanted.”

“You stand me up again, I won’t let you touch me for a month.”

“Never again, sweetheart.”

“Good boy.”

I grinned at the growl that ripped through Matt’s chest, giggling softly as I lightly pushed at his shoulders.

“Alright, you have a deal. But I have a gift for you too.”

“You are my gift.”

“Matty.”

“Sorry, I couldn’t help it. Alright, dinner, dessert, gifts, then more apologies.”

“Fine. Enjoy your break, Murdock. That was only two Hail Marys.”

“Three more to go.”

#matt murdock #matt murdock x y/n #matt murdock x reader #matt murdock x fem!reader #matt murdock x female reader #matt murdock x you #matt murdock smut #matt murdock fic #daredevil #daredevil smut #daredevil fic

[moonmaiden1996]

Claiming his Queen Part 6

Masterlist

This might be a bit of a filler chapter but let me tell you Part 7 is where shit is going down! So stay tuned----As always please leave comments and likes- 

Waking up once again in the strange palace, you found yourself tucked into a giant plush bed. The deep blue silk sheets cradled your body as you pulled yourself from the clutches of sleep. Despite your grogginess, a rush of heat coarse through your body, and you feel light, almost weightless, as you move. Flashes of last night passed through your mind, the feeling of his fingers, the touch of his mouth on you. Your throat plunged into your stomach, mouth hanging wide open in horror. Even with the distinct lack of coldness that clung to your bones for the first time in almost a decade, it didn't make up for the utter mortification that boomed within you.

Oh god! You screamed into a pillow.

Gnawing on your bottom lip, you recalled every sinful detail. Your toes still curled at the mere thought. Even in your wildest dream, could you have imagined how fucked your life would be? But you didn't know what else you expected after that fateful night in the basement of the Burgess Manor.

Taking several deep breaths, you draw the sheets to your chest, glancing around the room. Surprisingly it was kidnapper free. Was he even a kidnapper? It’s not like you tried to get away, but there wasn’t much point. It wasn't like you could shimmy down the drainpipe, burst out the gates and bump into a police officer. Casting your eyes around the room, you realise despite the setting sky, it was brighter now. In the light, the room took on a majestic hue.

You did not doubt that this was Morpheus’s room. It was a mix of light and dark; the clincher was the chiselled headboard. The sigil bared down at you, the same carved into your palm and forearm. It was the only proof needed that you were his. It doesn’t mean you understood it, but it’s proof of whatever this was.

"Oh, your awake." Matthew called, swooping down onto the bedpost, “my Lord, requests your presence for dinner. Your garments are in the wardrobe."

"Is there now.“

Xxxxxxxxxx

You shouldn’t have been surprised by the sheer size of the wardrobe; however, what did shock you was the single dress that hung invitingly in the middle of the room. Only Morpheus would want you to wear such an over-the-top gown. The colour suited your skin, and it was simple but gorgeous. Nothing you would ever dare to wear before, and unsurprisingly the neckline framed the spread of bruises that littered your throat.

Matthew guided you through the corridors, people bowing and scraping to you as you went. The dining room was more of a banquet room, a long-elongated table decorated in filigree and gold.

‘You look beautiful.’ Morpheus purred from the side.

You almost had to do a double take. He looked relaxed, his billowing jacket dancing around his legs as he cocked a glass of wine at you before taking your hand; he kissed your mark before guiding you towards the table. Despite his relaxed body, you saw the fire in his eyes and how his tongue drew against his bottom lip hungrily as he gently tucked your chair beneath you.

"I take it you had the liberty of creating my dress?"

‘’I had that honour. The neckline is very becoming,’ he eyed the mark with pride. "I am sorry not to wake with you, but I thought it would ease you into the day.’

For that, you were thankful. If you had woken up to Morpheus in your bed after everything, it would have pushed you over the edge. An edge that you were already dangling precariously off.

"You need to eat...you can have anything you wish...’ Morpheus purred, sliding into the seat at the head of the table next to you.

You sit wearily, eyeing the man cautiously while he fills your goblet with the same wine he sipped. Having a candle-lit meal was not your current idea of a pleasant evening. You wanted to bury yourself under a mountain of blankets and eat an extraordinary amount of junk food. Yet you were sitting in an elegant dining room poured into a tight dress.

‘What does your heart desire?’ His eyes burnt into you while he sat at the head of the table as he slowly sipped at his wine.

You squirmed under his gaze, your thighs rubbing together, desperate for friction. The answer rose in your throat, but you swallowed it.

‘’Mango milkshake with roast chicken’ ’you squeaked. It was the first thing that came into your head; every Sunday, your mother would make the best tangy mango milkshakes for you while your father roasted a chicken. It was your favourite memory of the three of you, before the basement, before the manor, and before you parent decent into witchcraft.

With a short nod, a small army of staff emerged out of nowhere, fluttering around the table in a flurry of activity, arranging the platters of food.

Steam rolled off the plates and curled into the air, permeating the surroundings with the mouth-watering scent of roasted chicken and spices. You couldn’t remember the last time you were this hungry, and the pit in your stomach won against the bone-crushing anxiety.

You layered your plate, practically inhaling the mountain of food, eyes looking everywhere but the intense god.

"You don't have to avoid your gaze; you are one of few who may look me in the eyes without fear. Perhaps you don't want to look in my eyes for another reason?’’ You didn't need to see his face because the voice carried his smirk, '’Or perhaps you find it hard because of what they remind you of." The velvet voice broke through the silence.

A deep blush across your face crept down your neck, training your stare onto your half-eaten plate. The hunger for food transforming into a hunger for something else.

‘I wish to follow your blush...’ Morpheus purred, curling his body over the table, lips stained a hearty red, pressing his hand into his.

"Please don’t.“ You whined, squirming back in your chair.

Swiftly he removed his hand and settled back into his chair. Your eyes darted across his form as he carefully decanted the wine into his glass, filling it to the brim.

‘’That's it? That’s all I have to say?”Your eyes flitted across his dark features, waiting, but nothing came, just the adoring smile as he lounged again on the dark wood, glass twirling in his hand.

"Of course.’’ The wine only enhanced his rich voice. '’You will be my queen, wife, partner, advisor, lover, and future mother to my children. Your word carries as much power here as mine.’’

'Children?’ your face scowled deeply at the man.

“We talked about this.” Matthew half whispered, wings flapping frantically as he settled on the back of his master's chair in a fluster.

What. The. Fuck.

“She is my soulmate; of course, she will be. She will rule the dreaming along my side; I will be her king, husband, and devoted follower.’’ Morpheus said it as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. Even uttered with a small smile lingering on his lips.

This. Fucking. Guy. A rage simmered within you.

"So if I said take me home, you would obey." You snapped, grabbing at your goblet and gulping down two mouthfuls of wine, the bitter taste burning your tongue.

The god's eyes glistened in glee.” Then I would have to prove to you why you must stay. Or perhaps that's what you want..." His feature darkened in the soft candlelight.

"Am I ever going to leave this place?” You choked, tears welling up in your eyes.

His face softened, taking your hand in his "you are not a captive. You will be free to wander the universe; my heart, it is just till our bond is completed, and no one can keep us apart. Especially my siblings" he growled, "my other siblings may seek you out to hurt me or steal you for themselves."

"Cool it. You're scaring her.” Matthew gritted out from a clenched beak.

For a moment, there was silence. For the first time, you realised you felt fear that you might be in danger. You were insignificant, human and brittle compared to him, caught as playthings amongst beings you would never comprehend.

"Is that chicken? Thank god I'm starved….chicken me.’ He flapped his wings, propping open his mouth.

You couldn’t help but laugh through watery eyes, tossing a chuck of chicken at the bird that gulped it down merrily. ’Morpheus has a big family, a very big eccentric family. Do you have any siblings...?’ Matthew guided through a mouth full of chicken.

"Matthew…" Morpheus glowered.

‘What it's polite to ask, and you were making her uncomfortable, you need to connect with her…so do you?’

Your eye softened at the barmy bird, guzzling down thick chunks of meat.

"No... my parents only had me...’

"Are your parents still alive? They aren't going to be worried about you, are they?" You saw him through a quick scowl at his master, or at least how you thought a bird scowl might look like.

"No, they died..." Your voice sounded hollow; your eyes were still thick with tears.

"That's rough. I know when my mum died, I was broken. Were you close?" Matthew softly spoke.

"No, not really. Not in the end... I think... In the end, we all began resenting each other..." It was weird to say it out loud, but almost a relief.

‘How could they resent you?’ Morpheus's low voice was soft and tender. It was the first tie he had taken in the exchange; the hunger in his eyes was gone, replaced by something akin to concern

‘’For lying to each other. Them gaslighting about what happened in the basement., me telling them I was fine. I think I started hating them... they made me have all these skin drafts’’ your hand subconsciously moving to shield your mark. ‘’... but each time, the mark would still be there. I think we just stopped talking, and then they were just gone one day.’

Outside, a thick streak of red lightning cut through the sky, with a sickening crack pulling your attention. Beyond the window, the setting sky was clouded black, the low rumble ripping through the heavens. Your focus tore from the window to Morpheus. He was shaking with rage, eyes black with no trace of beautiful silver left.

Morpheus rose to full height earning a terrified squawk from Matthew as he flapped into your lap. You waited, body rigid under his gaze, but he didn't make a move, glaring at your tiny figure. You left with a shriek of fright as he tore through the room out of the door.

You let out a shaky sob as your felt Matthew nudge a comforting head into your side.

Xxx

Lucienne eyed the sky in hesitation. Her Lord stood on the steps of his realm, dominating it. In the millennia she had inhabited this plane, never had she seen the sky so black, the angry flashes of lighting blanketing the kingdom in a sinister shade of red.

‘She is still scared of me.’ Morpheus gritted out, sending another flash of lightning crashing down from the skies.

‘My lord, a little understanding may be required with all due respect. She has been taken from her home. Modern women are much more complex than those you have experienced. A lot has changed in the last 100 years.’ She explained.

‘This is her home.’ Morpheus rounded, spitting at his librarian.

‘It is a lot of Lord she is a human...’

‘She is not. She is mine.’

‘As may be, she is or at least was human, and this world and everything in it is complex and alien to her. You must be patient and compassionate. She is vulnerable now and needs you to show understanding.’

Lucienne watched as Morpheus fell silent, her shoulder falling in defeat, retreating into the safety of the library.

xxxxxxxx

You didn't see Morpheus for the rest of the day or what seemed like a day; time moved strangely in this place. Matthew guided you around the wing, settling you into a small sitting room, a fire roaring through the fire but not loud enough to cover the howl of the thunder outside. But the constant nattering from the raven was comforting.

‘I am just saying Morpheus will give you anything, and Netflix would go down well. Do you know how long it has been since I have seen Friends? Ohhhhh, and maybe Disney Plus, I could go for some sexy Black Widow action if you know what I mean; I am wiggling my eyebrows if you didn’t notice. Ohhhh, eyebrows, add that to the list too.’

You smiled, stroking your fingers over the head of the bird, content with his babbling, yet you couldn’t help but feel the discomfort as the coldness began to creep into your bones again. Your little sanctuary was disturbed as you heard the clear click of familiar shoes on the marble floor.

‘Matthew leave us…’ came the deep command of Morpheus. Matthew wavered on his talons for a moment before inclining his head and flapping away.

‘I…have come to apologise for my conduct earlier. I was angry.’’ Morpheus started, standing in front of you, head low and palms out towards you.

“At me?" your brow creased.

"At your parents for trying to hide my mark from the world...trying to hide you from me.’ His voice was soft as his fingers pulled a stray lock of hair from your face and tucked it behind your ear. ‘I cannot blame them; I haven’t always been a good man, but I can be with you beside me. Forgive me.’’

Outside, the storm's fury had begun to die; only the barest glimpse of black and red remained. Turning your gaze back to him, you scrutinised him for the longest moment. His face was strained into a weird contortion of emotion, hair wild, and that was when it hit you, a revelation that shook you to the core.

You nodded, and with a beam of a smile, he swept to sit next to you, dragging you onto his lap, burying his head in your neck. You gazed down into your palm, the sigil carved into your palm, letting your eyes fall shut as he caressed you.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

So reality has hit me, and school starts back up in less than a week, along with the usual rubbish that comes with it. But I will try and update at least once a week. But on the flip side, I have lots of NSFW Alphabets comings.

Question- what do you think Morpheus's favourite sex position is? My answer – Cowgirl as he gets to plough into you while getting an amazing view, but Morpheus secretly loves doggy- all control, and who doesn't like their face pressed down into a pillow while he goes to town behind you?

Challenge ALERT-The first three people to get where the Mango Milkshake reference is from (its my favourite movie) wins the chance to be a character in the dreaming featured in the next chapter and say something to the character! Because why not :P

@daydreamin1220  @jesllianaquilesrolon @ultimatreality @musemaniac42 @duhitzdae  @songbirdcannabe  @wt-fxckk @quillycrow @lemontails-blog @zafirina12 @alastorhazbin @witchybitch @thegreatestsandwich @buckys-pillow @sunscreenfeverdream @lu123sworld @asianfrustration13 @leighs-posts @elraeeee @intothesoul @sparklinglilac @lustreader69 @thraetor @fate-huntress @itshamleth @beautifulsoulsublime @bookohocolicsstuff @aurorarevenclaw1927 @winxschester @gingermous @scarlettmoon98 @nushy @nanadesudesu @sinisterandfun @the-whispering-mountain.  @ellie-xoxox @xixxala @theraggedygirl11 @poemfreak306 @sugarstone1999 @depressooexxpressoo @lovesickollie @andy-rocks @reallystressedhoneybee @theoddballinyourcloset @zaflrina12 @dangerousdreamkitty @chadekelevra @wandas-soulmate @yor72 @sugarstone1999​ @heartyhope @thecrazytealady @louslous @minetticatinwonderland @thecrazytealady@deafeningnightmarecrown @kiki13522 @fantasylover-92 @weirddominatrixpop @majestyjade @electric-cabaret @littlewhitefairy7777 @acdassenza @immaturedinosaur @juniebugg @theamuz @itsbqueenthings @thedepthsoffandomminds @nightly-polaris @pinkcyclewitch @kuchokitty @asgardiandeadpoetsociety @humongousgalaxycoffee @arim0895  @kuchokitty @inannamoon @true-queen-of-mischief @tyelikesbees @one-loud-mind @hoefortonks @notabotiswear @cynic-spirit @mamamidnight60 @18crazybutcutealsopsycho @thedepthsoffandomminds @minetticatinwonderland @blossomedfloweroflove @bluebear142077 @ladychibi @sinisterandfun @itsbqueenthings @hagofyourdreams @sugarstone1999 @44capybara @tortilla-chips-and-allioli @loverofallgoodboys @dilf-of-the-endless @aiko-uzumaki @kipoturtle

#Morpheus #morpheus x reader #morpheus x you #darkmorpheus #morpheus x y/n #smutxdreams #dreams x reader #king of dreams #dream #netflix sandman #sandman #the sandman #the endless

[starcrossedxwriter]

Wicked Fantasies Part 4 (MBJ x Black OC)

Warnings: mentions of grief and death… NSFW, public sex, name calling, BDSM themes

A/N: lol remember when I said this was gonna be two parts? Well I finished both so I said why not lol long chapter ahead but I hope you enjoy!

***

“It’s really insane when you think about it,” she laughed. “I mean God, these people are saying shit I wouldn’t dare breathe out loud… to a complete stranger. Do your DMs always look like this?” 

Michael nodded, causing Raven to shake her head in complete disbelief. “I don’t see most of ‘em but my team likes to share the wildest ones sometimes. The people are mad creative.”

“You don’t ever feel objectified by it?” Raven asked, her nails tapping quietly against her screen as she deleted DM after DM. 

“Sometimes but it’s par the course in my world. And they do it to all celebrities. It’s also not like me and my team don’t play into that shit. So it’s kinda hard to get mad. When you get branded as a sex symbol, people treat you like one. And generally, people don’t mean any harm by it. As long as people, you know, keep that shit on social, I don’t get bothered.”

“Fair. People need to like get offline and touch grass. The amount of women in my DMs insulting me for ‘stealing you?’ You’d think I wrecked their fantasy home. It’s kinda disturbing, not gonna lie.” 

Despite the rise in explicit DMs, Raven was pleasantly surprised at how little her life had changed since she became the public girlfriend of a mega movie star. She had never seen so many follow requests in her life and the cameras swarmed the library for the first few days. However, other than that and one or two articles detailing the sparse details of her life that were available, things were pretty much exactly the same. It also helped that there was a major celebrity scandal each week so their relationship had quickly become old news. But they were the new “it couple” on the block. The world bought their act hook, line, and sinker. A few more months of this and the debacle of their first date would be a funny passing joke on SNL or Late Night tv and nothing more. 

“I feel bad dragging you to this shit on your birthday,” Michael mumbled apologetically. 

Raven scoffed. “It’s a dinner party at Ryan Coogler’s with the cast of my favorite superhero movie of all time,” she exclaimed, a bit of her fan girl side slipping out. “Hardly a punishment. We got our photo so you can post something cute and sappy for the gram and I get to do something fun completely unrelated to my birthday. Win, win.” She assured him with a smile. 

Michael still did not understand her aversion to her birthday, it was one of the many things about her that were a big question mark. He thought she was just being modest when she told him so when Ryan invited the couple to dinner at his spot, he felt bad for even asking her to give up her special day for a work event. However, she said yes immediately, clearly thankful for a work obligation to fill up her evening. 

Her phone rang, interrupting Michael’s response. She rolled her eyes when she saw her sister’s name pop up. She had been dodging her and her dad’s calls left and right since she and Michael’s first date weeks ago. She knew her sister would find out from social media and would tell their dad, and she knew they both were just calling with their hands outstretched. She could tolerate them asking for her money and the money she did not have yet, she always found it and, even if she complained, she would give it. But she would not entertain requests for money that was not hers to give away, nor would she give Michael the impression she was a gold digger trying to bleed him dry. He was upholding his end of the bargain, she would not milk him for anymore than that. She let it go to voicemail, however, soon the car filled with the constant dings of her texts.

“You gotta take that?” 

“Umm… yea,” Michael could feel her entire mood sour at the idea. “It’s just my sister. She’ll never stop calling if I don’t. You mind? Sorry,” her tone was apologetic, knowing how frustrating it would be to listen to half a conversation in a car you can’t escape from. 

She held the phone to her ear and waited for her to pick up, making sure to turn the volume down as low as possible in hopes Michael would hear as little of whatever insanity her sister would spew. She knew she was not calling to merely offer happy birthday wishes, if she even acknowledged the day at all.

“Raven! I’ve been calling you for days. What the fuck?” Kiara’s voice filled her ears. 

“Hi Kiara. Sorry, I’ve been a little busy. How are you?” 

“I’m fine.” She responded shortly without asking Raven the same. “And yea, a little busy all over the fuckin’ ShadeRoom. You know how fuckin’ embarrassing it is to find out you’re dating MY celebrity crush on Insta?? You didn’t even like that nigga or his movies.” 

Not true, Raven wanted to yell into the phone. She and her sister were not close enough to know each other’s favorite movies or actors, hell even favorite colors, let alone gossip about their relationships together. So she was not sure why Kiara even expected to know about her relationship, even if it hadn’t been a complete farce. 

“You have me out here lookin’ stupid as shit to my friends.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t realize how it would impact you.” There was a hint of sarcasm in her voice, which she could tell Michael picked up on as he choked back a laugh. However, she knew Kiara was too self absorbed to notice.

“When are you gonna bring him here for us to meet him? The girls want to meet him too.”  

“You and dad are always welcome to come to LA and meet him. O-Or just, you know, visit me?” she threw him an apologetic shrug that just made him laugh. She wished she could laugh at how quickly her family’s tune had changed about seeing her. She had invited them to LA countless times before everything fell apart but they couldn’t have cared less about her life and how she was doing. And when she tried to visit them, they made excuse after excuse about why it was not a “good time.” But now that she had a famous boyfriend, it was “when are you coming to visit?” As if the invitation had always been open. She had not seen her family in two years. “Don’t think either of us have time to come to y’all with his schedule. He’s going out of town soon for his new movie.”

“Maybe I can convince dad if you can get us tickets to the premiere of that movie…. What’s the name? I don’t remember. The girls would love that shit. Or… oh! He has to be invited to the new Black Panther premiere next month too. Maybe we can go to that? I don’t know what that shit’s about but it’s Black Panther so you know hella celebs will be there. He’s gotta be a brand ambassador for some fancy shit. Can you get us some Birkins or something?”

Raven clenched her eyes shut as her sister outlined her laundry list of impossible wants from her “boyfriend.” She knew she could never and would never ask Michael for a fraction of these things. And if she was going to ask him for something out of their contractual obligations, she doubted whether it would be to benefit Kiara of all people. She would do it on behalf of someone who would actually appreciate it.

“I’ll ask him. But maybe for now, you can settle for an autograph? Look, we are actually headed out on a date. Did you or dad need something?”

“Oh yea… I need money for a lawyer for that charge from a couple weeks ago. You know that fuck ass bar is suing us for damages? But that shit wasn’t even our fault.” 

Raven’s head lazily fell to the side as she half-listened to her sister complain for several minutes, drowning on with details from the fight  that made Raven think the bar was well within their rights to demand payment. But accountability was not Kiara’s strong suit. She offered lame “ohs” and “wows” to give the impression that she was truly paying attention. She was just waiting for the ask, there always was one and everything before it was pointless. She finally tuned back in when her sister demanded cash. 

“I gave dad the rest of my savings to bail you and your boyfriend out of jail. And I already sent money for the mortgage and dad’s car. I’m tapped out this month.” 

“Fuck you mean tapped out? You’re living like a fuckin’ big shot in LA with a millionaire for a boyfriend and you can’t slide me money for a lawyer? That’s fuckin’ foul, Raven.” 

Raven clenched her eyes shut. It had already been hard enough to keep up the appearances that she had a thriving career in LA. Adding a fake relationship to the house of lies she existed in did not help matters. Her family had no idea how much she was struggling now and while she knew she could tell them, she did not want to deal with their reactions, which she knew would likely be to blame her. She felt enough guilt and blame for her situation as it was. 

“I can’t just make money I don’t have materialize, Kiara.” She lowered her voice though she knew there was no way Michael was not listening. “You know just because I let you and dad treat me like an ATM, doesn’t mean I do that to other people. I don’t have the money right now but I can pay the bar in installments when I come into more in a couple weeks and just pay off the damages for you.” 

“No, we aren’t payin’ the fuckin’ bar cause we didn’t do shit. And wow… God. You’re so fuckin’ selfish, running off to LA and abandoning us here to make all that money with your fancy degrees and shit.” 

“Did I run off and abandon you or did you make it impossible to stay?” Raven asked, her exhaustion at constantly being the villain of her family’s story getting the better of her. 

“Poor Raven. Always the fuckin’ victim as if everything that’s wrong in this family isn’t your fault. And to pull that card today of all days when you know it’s the anniversary of mom’s death. If it weren’t for you…” Kiara started to say before Raven cut her off, tears welling up in her eyes as she already could hear her sister and father’s voice finishing that sentence. 

“I’ll figure it out and send the money, ok?” She called out, cutting her sister’s words off completely. “I’m getting an advance from my next book in a couple weeks. Find a couple lawyers, meet with them and get their rates and I’ll pay for it. No one crazy expensive, Ki.” 

She knew lying was wrong but she did not have any other option. She couldn’t tell her family where the money would be really coming from. Michael had a whole list of things for her for the next two weeks before he went on his press tour, which meant she would easily make enough to pay her sister’s legal fees and pass it off as an advance. 

“This is me and Jay’s lives, Raven. It’s not like you don’t have the money or access to itto pay for the best.” 

Raven focused her eyes on the ceiling of the car, a sorry attempt to stop tears of guilt and frustration from falling. She felt a tidal wave of shame hit her knowing Michael was seeing her like this. “Whatever you need. But once my advance money is gone, I’m tapped out for a while. Seriously, Kiara.” 

“Yea yea yea. I gotta go. I’ll call you in two weeks about the lawyer. Bye.”

Raven clenched her phone in her hand with a fist, her entire body turning away from Michael as a small frustrated sob escaped her that she couldn’t quite keep in. She tossed her phone down on the seat and wiped her eyes. 

She had hoped to make it through today, the annual reminder of the worst day of her life, without thinking too much about it. But there her sister was, picking at the threads of her composure, forcing her to unravel. 

The worst part of all of it was she could not even be mad at her sister or her father and how they treated her. She deserved it and she knew it. She had ruined their lives and this was her atonement. So she endured it, every slight, every barb, every wound because she - perhaps foolishly - hoped that if she kept reaching out her hand and kept giving, one day they would reach back and not expect something in it. They would forgive her and she would have a real family again. 

It did not matter how they spoke to her or treated her, she just repeated the same mantra over and over and over again.  

Keep reaching out your hand, she reminded herself as she took a few deep breaths. 

“You good? We can drive around for a bit longer if you need a minute.” 

“Yea, yea.” She sniffled and cleared her throat. “Just stupid family shit. One day we’ll have a date without me crying o-or having a panic attack,” she let out a watery laugh as she forced a smile onto her lips. 

The smile was wide, and Michael knew, to a stranger, it would likely seem authentic and bright. It would certainly be enough to fool everyone at dinner tonight. But he could see its inauthenticity in her eyes, that’s where all of her emotions shown through. And her eyes? They were void of even the minuscule amounts of light and joy he typically saw and that were present moments before that phone rang. Now, she just looked torn down. And this version of her did not have enough energy to do more than put on that facade and pray no one looked too closely. But when it came to Raven, Michael always looked too closely… and he knew that was the problem. 

Michael slumped back in his seat for a few moments, the wheels turning in his mind as he studied her. He knew he could continue with their plan for the night, that she would play her part and play it well. However, he could not, in good faith, allow that. All their dates thus far had been about him. She deserved for the one day to celebrate her to be all about her. He pulled out his phone and went to Google. After a few minutes of searching, he closed that and opened his call log. 

“Hey Coog.” His voice filled the car, Raven glancing over to him as she continued trying to reign in her emotions so she could play her part.  “My bad, man but we ain’t gon’ make it tonight. Send my apologies to the rest of the team and your wife.”

Raven’s head whipped to the side as she listened to his words. She could hear the faint accent of Ryan Coogler asking if everything was ok. She immediately turned to him and threw an expression at Michael before mouthing, “What are you doing??” 

Michael merely winked at her before answering Ryan. “Yea yea. Just somethin’ came up I gotta take care of.” Michael chuckled. “Aight, ‘preciate you, brah. I’ll make it up to you. Talk to you later.” 

As soon as he hung up the phone, Raven immediately spoke up. “What was that? Why aren’t we going to dinner?” 

Michael ignored her and directed his next statement to Allen. “New plan, Allen. Just sent you the address.” 

“Yes, sir.” 

He continued to avoid her confused and wide eyes. He could not sit at a dinner party, regardless of how fun it was going to be to see the entire cast, knowing Raven was in pain. And even if he did not know or understand the extent of it, he could empathize and recognize she needed a night of someone caring for her, not the other way around. 

“Where are we going?” 

“You’ll see.” 

When Allen finally stopped, Michael helped Raven out and handed one of the cards out of his wallet to Allen, whispering something in his ear that Raven could not hear. With that, Allen sped off, leaving the two behind. Michael placed his hand on the small of Raven’s back and directed her down the block. 

“What about your dinner party?” 

“That nigga hosts a dinner party for everythin’. My role in the movie ain’t that big. Just settin’ up future shit so they won’t miss me. He’ll host another after the premiere next month and at the end of the award season if it gets nominated. Trust me, we ain’t missing shit.” 

“But you’re paying me to go to work events with you?” Raven hated that once again, he felt the need to cater to her and her emotions. “I don’t need to be coddled. O-or for you to rearrange shit to celebrate a day I don’t even want to celebrate. You’re paying me to do a job, let me do it.” 

“Yea and now I’m paying you to have a relaxin’ evening with me. This’ll be more fun anyway. We can still pretend it ain’t your birthday if you want.” 

“Relaxing… at a rage room?” She glanced up and gestured toward the sign outside of the building they were standing in front of. It was quiet, no one but a front desk attendant gawking at them. But she was not surprised it was quiet for a Wednesday night. 

“You tellin’ me you don’t have some rage you wanna exercise a bit, ma?”

She chewed on her lip, she had more than enough rage to get out, but she needed to fix that on her own time, not his. “I do… we all do, I’m sure but… then you shouldn’t pay me for the night. This isn’t work. You’re just doing this to make me feel better and I’m good. We really should go to that party. You can’t just blow off work obligations because your fake girlfriend’s having a bad day.”

Michael closed the distance between them and used his fingers to pry her lip out from between her teeth. He wanted to smile at how she rolled her eyes and pouted a bit, clearly resisting the urge to draw her lip back where it was.  

“You aren’t ‘good.’ I don’t know you that well but I do know that much. Just because this ain’t real doesn’t mean I want to watch you suffer on the one day of the year that’s supposed to be about you. A dinner party isn’t what you need. You need fun, seems like you get little of that shit anyway. So since I’m payin’ for your time, I’m tellin’ you not to worry about my shit. And I’m tellin’ you that your only job today is to have fun. And I don’t like having my money wasted, baby girl.” His voice dropped to his commanding tone, a tone that let her know he’d pull out the flogger again if she did waste his time. 

She rolled her eyes and scoffed. “Fine. But this really isn’t necessary.” 

“It’s my money. Let me decide what’s necessary and what’s not. Now come on.” He pulled her in the door, using his award winning smile to get them into the largest room that was clearly meant for more than two people. 

The attendant got them set up in their protective gear and closed the door behind them, locking them in the room for an hour. 

“So what do we do?” Raven muttered as she glanced around, quietly giggling at their absurd bee-keeper style gear. The room was filled with breakable items, bats and golf clubs and other makeshift weapons. There were holes in the walls and punching bags and dummies and stacks of plates. 

He picked up a vase and chucked it at the wall, the glass shattering against the wall. Then he picked up another one and handed it to her. 

His hand pressed into her chest, right above her heart. “Every negative thing you feel in here? Destroy everythin’ in this room til it doesn’t feel like you’re drownin’ in it.” 

She grabbed the vase from his hand and held it for a moment before she threw it as hard as she could at the same spot on the wall. Lacking his strength, it did not make it to the wall but she did enjoy the rush of adrenaline and satisfying crash it made as it shattered to the ground.  She did not even need further prompting as she picked up the discarded baseball bat near her and started using it to break everything she could see that was breakable. 

Michael spent most of the hour cheering her on as she released every bit of pent up frustration and anger and pain and shame she felt. She was so tightly wound all of the time, never letting any of it show so she could never let any of it go. But this was a cathartic release that she did not even know she needed. She knew she would feel it all again tomorrow but every crash, every piece of glass shattered, every dent she made into the walls of that room felt like a small bit of everything she kept in started to vanish piece by piece.

By the time the buzzer rang, signaling the end of their session, she was exhausted, her arms tired but she had never felt lighter. 

“That was…” she breathed heavily as they walked out toward Michael’s SUV. “Amazing. I didn’t know I needed that. Thank you.” 

“See? You gotta trust me more, baby girl. I know more than just what your body needs.” He winked at her as he closed the door behind him. “And now, we have one more stop.” 

They spent the entire drive recapping their favorite things to break in the rage room, which “weapons” caused the most damage. 

“Remind me never to piss you off,” Michael joked as Allen pulled off onto an overlook. 

“What do you mean??” 

“You were downright terrifyin’ with that damn bat. Can’t have you goin’ all Jazmine Sullivan or Carrie Underwood on my car.” 

“Whatchu know about Before He Cheats?” 

He let out a barking laugh. “Enough to know niggas go up for that song, me included.” He admitted. “But if you try to sell that to a gossip site, I’ll deny it.” 

“Wow, learning something new about you every day. And please, I’m sure there are more effective ways to hurt you if you pissed me off,” she teased. “You’d have a new car before I even finished taking a bat to the old one.”

“You might be right about that.”

“Where are we?” She asked as Michael helped her out of the car and she followed him around to the back of the SUV. He opened the trunk and laid out a picnic blanket and soft pillows that Allen had purchased while they were raging and jogged up to the front to grab the box of Prince St. Pizza that had made Raven’s stomach growl the entire ride and a bottle of white wine. 

“Overlook by the Hollywood sign. Perfect view of the city with my favorite white wine and favorite pizza.”

Raven smiled as he helped her climb into the back of the SUV, both of them leaning on the back as they looked out over the city. The silence was comforting, both of them eating their way through the giant pepperoni pizza and several glasses of wine. When they finished one bottle, Allen just produced another from the front seat and handed it back to them. 

“Thank you… for tonight,” Raven smiled as he poured her another glass of wine. “I… did really need this. And you didn’t have to.” 

“Don’t mention it. Seemed like you needed this more than I needed a dinner party.” He paused. “So your sister… did she even say happy birthday to you?” 

Raven let out a cold laugh as she took a long sip from her glass. “Nope. But I didn’t expect her to. Told you,” she whispered as her fingers played with the strings on the edge of their blanket. “Just another day. 

“So that’s why you don’t celebrate your birthday? Your mom?” At her startled expression, he shrugged apologetically. “I didn’t hear everythin’ but your sister was talkin’ loud as fuck toward the end. When’d she die?”

Raven sighed. “She died in labor. Had some condition, doctors told her no more kids… she got pregnant by accident. My dad wanted her to have an abortion, she refused. She gave birth and died a couple hours later.”  

“I’m sorry,” he offered quietly, his hand rubbing her thigh. He had tuned out most of their conversation, not wanting to eavesdrop. But the moment he heard frustration and pain in Raven’s voice, he could no longer block it out. He heard every word her sister hurled at her and he hated that they treated her so callously. “And they blame you?” 

She wiped her tears for a moment before muttering. “I blame me.” 

“You were a baby, didn’t ask to be born. How is her choice your fault?” Michael reasoned, hating that she blamed herself for something so out of her control. But he also knew grief was not the most logical of emotions, particularly grief as deep seeded as this.

“My dad could barely look at me as a kid, wanted nothing to do with me beyond keeping me clothed and fed. The only person who didn’t blame me was my grandma, she basically raised me until she passed when I was in middle school. And I get it,” her voice broke slightly with her grief. “If it weren’t for me, my dad would still have his wife and my sister would have a mom. So yea… I was born and she died for that… not much worth celebrating in my book… or anyone’s really.” Her voice trailed off to a soft whisper before she shook her head and rolled her shoulders back as if she could shake out the negative emotions. “But you didn’t bring me to this gorgeous spot to trade childhood trauma. Thank you for helping me take my mind off all that for a bit.” He could tell by her tone that she did not want to discuss it anymore. “I don’t know why you’re so nice to me,” she mumbled as she took another bite of pizza. 

He wrinkled his nose. “Am I not supposed to be?”

“No, no. I just… still waiting for you to be what I’d thought you’d be, I guess. What Tasha warned me you’d be.” 

“And what was that?” 

“An asshole,” she answered bluntly, Michael chuckling as he bowed his head. 

“I am… an asshole,” he admitted. “I’ll never deny that. Couple bad decisions after a bad break up and Hollywood bad boy became the image so I leaned into it. Self-centered, arrogant, cold… Aside from my family, that’s the version of me people see.” 

“But that’s not you.” 

He raised an eyebrow. “How you know? We just met a month ago.” 

She examined him with a soft smile before sitting up a bit straighter. “Because a self centered, arrogant asshole doesn’t do half the things you’ve done for me. You don’t treat me like a body or a business transaction. You treat me like… a friend? Even when you have no reason to. You may be a jerk but hell, plenty of niggas are jerks. You may even be a little selfish, not shocking when the world caters to you. But I think the real you is kind and thoughtful. I don’t know why you don’t want to show the world the side of you I see.” 

“Cause that nigga gets taken advantage of, gets heartbroken.” 

She nodded, she knew more than a thing or two about being taken advantage of. 

“Who was it then?” 

“Hm?” 

“The girl that broke your heart and created this version of you?” 

He let out a humorless chuckle and placed his hand on her knee. “One day, I’ll tell you.” He paused, glancing at her. “I treat you like a friend because I think we are… friends?”

He wanted to be so much more than friends. Every date, every moment with her he realized that more and more. However, if friends was as intimate as their relationship could ever truly be, he would settle for it. Anything, just to have her nearby. 

The small smile on her face turned brighter. “I think we’re friends too.” 

With the declaration of their friendship, both of them laid back against the pillows on their backs so they could stare out of the sunroof at the midnight sky. The sky was so perfectly clear, she could see endless stretches of stars. 

“What made you decide to be a writer?” Michael asked as they laid there. 

“I used to dream of being anywhere but where I was,” she admitted. “Still do most of the time. And when I was a kid, books, particularly fantasy books, were just the one place I could always escape to. Other worlds and lives so vivid so I could leave this one behind for a short while. And they always gave me hope that things could get better, maybe. I wouldn’t get saved by a dazzling prince or whatever. But they made me think things could turn around somehow. But when I was young, so few books had characters who looked like me or were written by women who looked like me.” 

“‘If there’s a book you wanna read, but it hasn’t been written, then you have to write it,’” he quoted the quote she had above her desk in her room. 

“Exactly.” 

“Why’d you stop after one book?” 

She clenched her eyes shut. “Didn’t have much of a choice. A… misunderstanding,” she muttered the word bitterly, “with my editor at my publishing house… and they dropped me, wasn’t able to find another. So I got the job at the library to tide me over till I figured shit out.  That was… about a year and a half ago? Haven’t been able to write much since.”

“A misunderstanding?” He repeated, glancing over at her, his question clear even though he did not explicitly ask it. However, when he felt her body shift uncomfortably next to him, he quickly backtracked. She had already rehashed so much that she did not need to tonight, there was no need to unearth anything else. She kept giving him more puzzle pieces but the picture remained a mystery. However, he could tell that it was one that held as much darkness as it did beauty. 

His hand grasped hers and squeezed. “You ain’t gotta tell me. Add it to the one day list?” 

Her eyes were still closed but he felt her squeeze back. “Thanks.” 

Silence fell over them as they laid there. Michael rarely just laid and did nothing like this. It was contemplative and nice, to simply exist beside her. He spent so much time being on, playing a part or an image. But he liked that he did not have to do that with Raven when they were alone. She let him be Bakari… the version of him that was only safe with his family and closest friends. 

“Tonight… I needed it too,” he offered, ending the silent reprieve. “So thank you for indulgin’ me.”

Raven turned and propped her head up on her hand, turning her body to face his profile. He looked different bathed in the moonlight. He was gorgeous, anyone with eyes could see that. But he seemed more youthful to her, his features more relaxed than they typically were when they were on dates. His jaw was relaxed, his lips settled into a smile that was effortless… not his movie star smile, which she had seen enough times to recognize the nuances that signaled its inauthenticity. This one though, his real smile,… it made him heartbreakingly gorgeous.  

“Thank you for caring about me a-and for today. Haven’t had anyone do that in a long time,” she admitted before settling back on her pillows.

He knew she had that void in her life but hearing her admit it out loud broke his heart in places he was not expecting.

“What about right now?” 

“What about right now?” She asked, her tone filled with confusion. 

“Do you wish you were anywhere else but here right now?” He asked.

She tilted her head to glance at him, finding his eyes trained on her and not on the sky above. She let out a deep breath as she studied him. 

“No, there’s nowhere else I’d rather be.” 

He smiled. “Good.”  

They turned back toward the sunroof, content smiles on both of their faces. They did not talk much beyond that, both of them enjoying the silence and each other’s company. 

She did not even know how much time had passed when something finally broke that precious silence, the buzzing of Michael’s phone. Instinctively, she glanced over and caught a glimpse of his bright screen. Tasha’s name scrolled across, Michael sighing a bit as he sent the call to voicemail. 

Suddenly, Raven felt overwhelmed with discomfort. He was still seeing Tasha… why did that upset her so much? He had never promised not to, at least not to her. So she knew she had no reason to be mad. But she could stop the claws of jealousy from sinking their talons into her heart and soul. And when that subsided, all she felt was inadequacy. Another moment where she was not enough for someone. 

She cleared her throat. “It’s… um kinda late?” she glanced down at her watch before sitting up and sliding out of the back of the car. “L-Looks like you’ve got plans?” She tried to hide the bitterness in her voice but she knew she failed, knew Michael could see all of it.  

Michael shook his head. “Nah, it’s not wh-” 

Raven cut him off. “I have an early shift tomorrow… would hate to oversleep. Mind taking me home?” She did not know why she lied, her shift was not until noon. However, she knew it was an excuse he could not argue with. 

Raven started to walk around to the car door when she felt Michael’s grip around her arm, halting her movements. Michael hated that she saw that. Similar to her, but for entirely different reasons, he had been dodging Tasha’s calls like they were the plague. Usually he reached out to her to set up dates but when two weeks passed with radio silence from her best and most frequent customer, she started calling more often. He met up with her once, an act he regretted the morning after when he woke up. But she had promised discretion, if anyone knew how much of a farce he and Raven’s relationship was, it was Tasha. But he did not even enjoy it in the same way, he felt like he was just going through the motions. So when she reached back out earlier that week to set up another date, he ignored it. And ignored all the subsequent messages. He could not avoid her forever, but he knew he needed to put her on pause until Raven was out of his life and out of his system. While he was drugged up on her, no other fix was as worthy or quite as right. 

But he did not know how to explain that to Raven. He had not promised her exclusivity but it had most certainly been implied. He would not be pleased if he found out another man she had fucked was calling her.

“Tasha and I aren’t…” he started to say but Raven pressed her hand to his chest to stop him. 

“You don’t gotta lie to me. You’re allowed to sleep with other women, Michael. This isn’t real, we’re just friends at the end of the day. All good. I’m really tired though and need to get up early.” 

With that, she gently maneuvered her arm out of his grasp and slid into her seat in the car. She was thankful with every passing mile that took her closer to her apartment and out of his presence. She did not have a right to be upset but she could not change the fact that she was. She enjoyed being his only and she wasn’t, and she was wholly unprepared for how that would make her feel. But that’s what she got, for thinking his feelings for her extended past their business relationship. He was kind but she had signed up to be used and he was getting what he wanted. She had to accept that. 

“Thanks for the ride, Allen,” she said as she opened the door. She fixed her face and offered him a smile that was a bit forced but, despite the end to the night, still was partially genuine. “Thanks for tonight, seriously. I had fun.” His phone buzzed again, causing her to grimace. “And have fun with Tasha. Night, Michael.” She did not let him respond before she let the car door slam shut and she raced inside as fast her legs in her heels could carry her. 

Michael groaned, his head thudding back against the headrest as he looked at his phone screen. 

“I fucked that up, didn’t I?” 

“Wasn’t your shining moment with her, sir.” 

He clenched his hand into a fist before answering the phone. He never wanted to see that look on Raven’s face again and truthfully, he did not care to frequent Tasha anymore. He knew Raven and he had a shelf life that would expire but even when it did, he was not sure he could go back to fucking Tasha like Raven never existed. She had infiltrated every aspect of his being in the last two week and tonight had only made him fall deeper for her, made him want to give her everything she did not have. It was strange to feel this emotion again, to long for someone like he did her. Even if it could not be something long term, he wanted to savor it while he had her. 

But that was not something he was truly ready to admit to himself, let alone to Tasha. So he decided to take the easy road out and blame it on something else: the image and his manager. Tasha would have to respect that, right? And he would spin some lie about seeing her after Raven and he broke up, even though he was not sure if he had the desire for dispassionate, unattached sex in him anymore. 

“Hey Tash,” he muttered coldly into the phone. 

“Hey baby… wanted to see if you wanted to meet up tonight? I miss you,” her voice was sultry and inviting, a voice that, once upon a time, would have had him racing through LA to get to a hotel with her. But today, it did nothing. “And a little birdie told me you were headed to Paris in two weeks for press. Should I pack a bag?” 

Michael rolled his eyes. That was his own fault. He flew her out once last year to Cannes Film Festival and now she thought she was invited on every trip. There was only one person he wanted to take on this trip with him and after tonight, he was not even sure she’d say yes. 

“Yea… listen Tash. You know how I feel about you. But I can’t see you anymore… just for a few months.” 

“What?? Why?” 

He rolled his eyes, she knew why. “Well, you know… I got this relationship with Raven that is really important for my career and I can’t be seen with other women. We’re gonna have an amicable split in a few months and then I’m all yours again. But until then, we gotta keep our distance.” 

He could hear the frustration and bitterness in her voice, though she tried and failed to hide it. “You’re my best customer, Michael. You can’t just… drop me outta nowhere.” 

“It’s just temporary. Just a couple months. And I’ll send you some money to tide you over till you get a new client. Also means no Paris. Sorry, I just really gotta focus on cleaning up the image over the next few months. You understand, don’t you? You know you’ll always be my favorite girl.”

There was a long pause that made Michael check to ensure the call had not been disconnected. 

“Yea I understand. Just a few months though, right? Then you’re droppin’ the new girl?” 

Michael rolled his eyes before nodding, though she could not see him. “Of course, baby. Just a couple months and then she’s gone. Promise.” 

They shared a few pleasantries before Michael hung up and prayed she did not call him again for a while. His fingers itched to text or call Raven and explain. But something stopped him, the part of him that still adamantly rejected his feelings toward her roaring. He did not owe her an explanation, he did not owe her anything but the money he paid for her dates. She did not ask for an explanation either so why would he volunteer one? Those two parts of him battled until he threw his phone to the side in frustration. 

He sighed and took a deep breath as Allen pulled up in front of his family home in the hills, his oasis, Raven’s perfume still lingering in the car… that hint of lavender danced on his nose. He fell asleep with that phantom smell haunting him, Raven finding ways to pop up in every dream he had that night, leaving him no escape from her or his feelings for her. 

***

“Here you go.” Michael handed her an envelope filled with cash. “I’ll be gone by the time you wake up.” 

Raven nodded and stored it in her overnight bag before grabbing her clutch. They were finally alone after being poked and prodded all afternoon by his stylist and glam teams to get ready for the premiere. They had ten minutes before the car would be there to take them. And then Michael would be jetting off at an ungodly hour to New York and then Paris for press. Raven was actually a bit sad to see him go. 

Though they never discussed the Tasha debacle from her birthday two weeks prior, she and Michael were slowly but surely getting closer and closer each day. They had had an event or something to go to almost every night, Raven was shocked at the amount of money she had been able to make in such a short window of time. Even helping her sister with her lawyer, she felt as if she could actually breathe easy for the first time in a while. And on the nights they were not together, they generally texted or talked on the phone at some point. They hadn’t had sex again, Raven finding any and all excuses to avoid that since he was still seeing Tasha. He never pushed or seemed angry, albeit a bit disappointed when every date ended with her asking Allen to take her home. It was petty she knew it but she did not care. She had no interest in competing with Tasha, she knew who would win every time. 

“Thanks.” 

“You sure you’re gonna be good while I’m gone?” 

Raven glanced at him and rolled her eyes as she threw her lipstick in her clutch. She did not quite understand how the small bag was even functional, it did not even fit her ID. But Michael’s stylist said it fit the look so she did not question it. “Don’t flatter yourself, Mr. Jordan. I’ll be just fine without you for a few weeks.” 

Michael came up behind her and laughed. “You ain’t gotta pretend like you ain’t gon’ miss me, baby girl. I mean… you know, financially. I’m in New York for a week then Paris for a week. That’s a while without dates. I can slide you some extra if you need it.” 

Raven bristled at the idea, she did not want him to view her as a charity case. 

“No,” she responded shortly, immediately regretting the sharp edge in her tone as his face fell. “S-Sorry. No, thank you but I’m good.” 

“Even after your sister’s legal shit or whatever?” 

She let out a small huff. “Yea… she managed to pick the most expensive lawyer below the damn Mason Dixon line but I got it covered, I think. And with this,” she gestured toward her bag. “I’m good on the other stuff too. Seriously, you shouldn’t worry yourself about my finances. I always figure it out.”  

He grabbed her wrist to stop her from walking away from him.

“It ain't charity or worry. Don’t want you stressin’ and shit while I’m gone. And I like to know my friends and everyone on my team are good. You’re both… why would I treat you any differently?” 

“I just don’t want you to feel like you have to take care of me. Or fix my problems.”

“You’re here fixin’ my problems. I can’t  return the favor?”

“Because… that’s not what we agreed to. This is a job, you pay me… we go out. That’s it. My family shit has no part in this and isn’t your concern. I’ll deal with them.” 

“Why do you?” At her raised eyebrow, he added, “Deal with that?” 

“You don’t give up on your family. You reach out your hand even when they swat it away. And one day, they’ll see all I’ve done for them and how much I love them and they’ll come around.” 

“Seems to me that you let them bleed you dry as if it’ll pay whatever debt you think you owe them. And they seem content with lettin’ you bleed out in the street.” 

She chuckled mirthlessly. “They’re all I got… so I don’t have much of a choice. It’ll pay off. All of it,” she forced more conviction in her voice. “One day.” 

“You really believe that?” 

She turned to look at him. He could tell there was genuine hope in her eyes, true belief that things would get better. A dreamer, indeed. 

“Yea… I have to.” 

“I dunno... There’s gotta be better out there for you… you certainly deserve better.” There was a not-so-small part of him, a part that grew with every moment he spent with her, that desperately wanted to be that more for her. 

“This world is filled with people who deserve better, Michael. But we’re stuck with the hand we’re dealt until better comes along. And I don’t see any better hands coming my way. Just a long game of this shitty hand,” she whispered the last part under her breath as she checked herself in the mirror once more. She grabbed her clutch and started toward the door. “You ready? Car should be here, right?” 

He hated how resigned she was to her fate and treatment. He had more than enough money to give his family and friends, more than enough for them to take advantage of if they chose and none of them did. Raven had none of that and still gave her last to people that clearly did not appreciate it. And to know, she had every intention of doing it under some misguided belief they would thank her for it later broke his heart. It reminded him of how pure and kind-hearted she was but he knew her efforts would likely be wasted. But he would have loved to be proven wrong. 

He did not know her family so he knew it was wrong to judge them but all he felt was red hot anger. Quite frankly, the only benefit he saw to the reality that this arrangement was fake was that he would not have to meet her family himself. He did not know if he could even sit in the same room with them. 

“Before we go… got somethin’ for you.”

Raven raised an eyebrow, “I don’t need a gift. It’s your special night.” 

“Yea but wanted to give you somethin’ to remember me by. It benefits both of us, don’t worry.” His face was a sly smirk that told her the gift was not a normal one. “But first, Tasha and I aren’t hookin’ up anymore.” 

“Michael… you don’t have to…” 

He shook his head and interrupted her. “Nope. You didn’t let me finish that night and you’ve been weird about it ever since. So now, I’m talkin’ and you’re gonna listen. It’s ok to be annoyed. We should be exclusive. I called her and put that shit on pause until our arrangement is done. We’ve only hooked up once since we started dating and it was early on. But either way, you don’t gotta worry about her callin’ or me seein’ her while I’m with you. I got my hands full with you anyway,” he winked at her. 

Raven tried to limit the smile that wanted to blossom at his words. She was happy to hear she was not “competing” with Tasha as she thought. It was a narrative her own insecurities and anxieties created and fueled, a narrative that now seemed foolish. She still did not know why it mattered so much to her. Or rather, she knew, but she would never admit it out loud. 

“So we’re good?” 

“Y-Yea we’re good. Wasn’t worried,” she lied, trying to make her voice sound aloof and unbothered. She did not know why she bothered, she supposed she did not want her pride to be anymore damaged than it already was. 

Michael merely pursed his lips and chuckled before nodding toward the bed. “So you ready to be my slut again or am I still on pause?” 

Raven smiled. “I’m all yours.” 

“Good. Lay down for me, panties to the side.” 

Raven laid back on the bed, hiking up her dress to her waist so she could part her legs. She pulled her thong to the side, Michael licking his lips as he took in the mess between her thighs. 

“Already so wet for me. You missed me too, huh? This is gonna be fun,” he muttered to himself as he pulled a gold vibrator out of his pocket before sitting on the bed beside her, careful not to ruffle his perfectly-tailored tuxedo. 

He wasted no time sliding the vibrator inside her, Raven moaning lightly at the intrusion, the way his finger brushed against her clit. She wanted more, desperately. Her hips rolled to find his touch, his hand, her body begging for more action. But he denied her. His other hand fiddled with something small that looked like a remote control. 

“Know what this is?” 

“No, sir.” 

“It’s the controller. Tonight, you’re gonna keep that in you and I’m gonna have a little fun with this.” 

Raven let out a shaky breath. “Y-You expect me to keep this in… while we’re at a movie premiere? No way.” 

He nodded, a mischievous grin in his eye. “I recall you wanting to explore some fantasies. You tellin’ me sex in public ain’t one you’ve had?” 

She bit her lip as she contemplated it. The idea was certainly an intriguing one… but the risks?? 

“When would you use that?” 

“Whenever I want. That’s the fun part… for me anyway. And you’re gonna spend the night making sure that sexy ass face when you cum isn’t plastered across TMZ tomorrow.” 

Raven shook her head. “I dunno, Michael. I’m all for risk but this seems insane.” 

He let out an exaggerated sigh, his voice playful and teasing. “I thought you’d be up for it, thought you wanted to have fun but I understand if you’re too scared.” 

She heard the challenge in his voice. He was testing her, trying to see if she was really up for anything. She could not deny that the idea was intriguing. Having her orgasms at his mercy in public? Per usual with him, she knew she could say no. But as she ran over the risks, all she could think of was the thrill of it. She wanted it. She hated that she wanted it and hated that he knew she wanted it. But she did. 

She sat up and swung her legs off the bed. She clenched her muscles to ensure the new addition to her ensemble stayed tucked where it needed to be and she shimmied the delicate fabric of her gown back down to its proper place. 

“Car’s waiting,” she offered with a smirk as she grabbed her purse and walked out of his bedroom, deciding then and there that she would win whatever game he was playing tonight, and would show him that she was indeed up for any and everything. 

Michael watched her ass sway as she exited and smiled. 

“Gonna have a lot of fun with this.” 

***

Raven was so overwhelmed by the screaming fans and reporters and flashing lights that she almost forgot about the “gift” nestled in her core. She kept her smile bright as she and Michael started down the red carpet, his arm tightly wrapped around her waist. 

He looked down at her like the perfect image of a doting boyfriend, with love and protection in his eyes. He played the role so well, Raven almost caught herself falling for the act. But she supposed that was a good thing because it made her glances back at him more genuine. She knew they looked like the picture perfect couple, every gossip site raved about them after every date. She knew tonight would be no different. 

She was so focused on keeping her smile intact and her eyes from blinking too much as they stood on the red carpet that she failed to notice Michael slip his hand into his pocket. Her smile faltered for just a second as she felt the device come alive, sending shock waves directly against her g-spot. It was a steady soft buzz, just enough to make her feel it, causing the heat to rise throughout her body. But it was not enough to overwhelm her.  

Once she got over the initial surprise of the vibration, she was able to recompose herself with ease. She played off the change in her expression by adjusting something on her dress and continued posing with him.

Minutes passed and the vibration continued at its low pace, Raven enjoying the small jolts of pleasure. This was what she was supposed to be worried about? This was a piece of cake.

She leaned in and kissed him softly on the cheek before turning her head from the cameras and whispering in his ear, “This is easier than I thought it’d be.”

Michael let out a deep laugh as if she had told a funny joke and pecked her sweetly on the nose, continuing their slow march down the carpet. 

Raven genuinely felt like she could deal with that all night as she listened to Michael give an interview. She remained tucked at his side with a smile on her face. The interviewer did not really ask her any questions, thank God. So she just smiled and concentrated on keeping her thighs together. 

“So Raven, I have to say, you look gorgeous. Who are you wearing?” 

“Th-” her words were cut short as the vibration pattern changed, this time a long vibration that steady increased before pulsing against her g-spot and starting over again. She coughed awkwardly, pretending as if she had swallowed wrong before saying. “T-thanks. V-versace.” 

Her answer was clipped and short, afraid her words would betray her if she opened her mouth. This was far different, this was ecstasy. Each vibration felt like the slowest, most tantalizing march up a mountain before someone pushed her back toward the bottom to do it all over again. And that pulse at the top? It sent a shockwave through her that made her see stars. Each time, she felt her fingers grip the fabric of Michael’s tuxedo jacket harder. The longer it droned on, the more her legs started to shake. 

“You ok, baby?” he asked sweetly, kissing her on the cheek innocently. 

“Y-Yea, of course.” 

“You two are so cute. Thanks for chatting with me and I can’t wait to see the film.” 

Michael said his goodbyes to the interviewer before guiding Raven away. 

“What’s harder?” he whispered in her ear as they walked inside the venue. He stopped her in the corner of the giant atrium before they walked into the screening room and tucked her against a wall in a corner. Only official photographers were allowed at this point. To anyone passing by, they just looked like a couple having a sweet moment.

“W-what?” She found even such a simple word laborious to get out and it sounded more like a moan than a word. With him mostly covering her body from view, she could not stop the way her hips rolled as the setting changed again. The pattern was the same but the cycle was faster, the intensity overwhelming as he  increased it to the next setting. 

“What’s harder?” he leaned in and whispered in her ear so lowly she almost could not hear her. “Keepin’ that pretty smile on your face when all you wanna do is close your eyes and bite your lip while you cum? Hidin’ your moans so no one here knows you’re a loud filthy slut? Or stoppin’ yourself from beggin’ me to fuck you in the bathroom over there?” 

She felt as if her entire body was in a frenzy. It was not just the vibrator, it was his hands gently pressing her to the wall innocently, it was the courses of people walking by them having no clue that she was on the cusp of the greatest pleasure of her life, it was that she could not stop it or him if he decided he wanted her to cum right then and there in front of everyone. 

“A-all… of it,” she whispered, her face burying itself in the nook of his neck, which helped hide the pleasure swimming in her eyes but only increased it as she took in his scent. His signature cologne had become intoxicating to her. 

“You wanna cum for daddy, baby?” His words were a light whisper that they knew could not be heard over the conversations and music playing throughout the hallway. 

It was taking everything in her not to collapse in front of him, his arm around her waist was the only thing keeping her standing. Her legs were pure jello, every inch of her body was on fire, boiling with pleasure and humiliation at being brought to orgasm at the nicest event she’d ever been to in her life. All she wanted to do was cum but she did not trust herself to hide it. 

“P-Please…” she whispered. She did not know if that please was to stop or to keep going. 

Michael smirked as he felt her hips buck against his again. She was so close, he could see it in her eyes, feel it in the way her hips ground against nothing but air. It was subtle, not obvious to anyone else from the angle they stood at but he could feel it. 

“Beg.” He demanded. 

She clenched her eyes closed. All she wanted was to fall over this particular edge, right then and right now. She was so close, so close, it was almost agonizing to hold it in until he gave her permission. She glanced down as his finger hovered over the button to increase the setting again, knowing that she could not will him to hit that button. She would have to give him exactly what he wanted, what he always wanted. Submission. 

“P-Please… m-make me cum,” she muttered in his ear. “I-I need… it… p-please.” Tears stung in her eyes as she struggled to fight the urge to let go right then and there, hearing her own needy voice in the space. 

“Hm.” he offered quietly. “I don’t think you deserve it.” And with that, the vibration stopped completely. 

Raven could not stop the groan that escaped her lips as he stole her orgasm, her body screaming and protesting at her in pain at the sudden loss of pleasure. 

She let out a soft gasp as she glanced up at him. “You mother-” 

He leaned forward and kissed her deeply, completely silencing her. Raven’s entire body fell into his as they kissed, she could hear the soft snapping of a camera nearby on her right side. 

He offered her the sweetest smile before leaning to her left so the camera could not catch what he was saying.

“If you wanna cum at all tonight, I wouldn’t finish that sentence.” He straightened up and pressed his lips to her forehead, his arm still around her waist. His voice returned to a normal volume as he fixed her hair and ran his hand over the front of her dress. He looked like he was helping her adjust herself but he also wanted to make sure there was no evidence of their crimes. “It’s time for us to go to our seats. You ready?” 

Raven felt like she had whiplash from the last 5 minutes. He was good, far better than she gave him credit for at these games. She thought this was just going to be a fun experiment. But Michael never did anything small. And she was foolish to underestimate him. 24 hours ago, she would have never thought she would enjoy something like this. But now? She could play this game all night long, even though she was losing miserably. 

She peeled herself off the wall, her own hands running against the bodice of her dress. Her legs still felt a bit wobbly so she wrapped her arm in Michael’s to steady herself. She nodded and allowed him to lead her into the theater. 

She barely paid attention to the movie as she spent the entire two hours watching Michael like a hawk. Every time he shifted in his seat or moved one of his hands, she wondered if he was going to turn the vibrator back on. Halfway through the film, she realized it was not because she was dreading it. She wanted him to. She was internally willing him to turn the stupid thing back on, even if it was only at its lowest setting. Because even at the lowest setting, she knew she was sensitive enough to get where she wanted to be. She wanted to feel the tidal wave of pleasure, she wanted to drown in and bask in it and feel the adrenaline of doing so in public. Besides, the dark theater seemed like the perfect time if he truly wanted to push her completely over the edge. When she wasn’t praying to God that he would turn it on, she was wishing it was his fingers or his dick filling her and not a toy. 

She needed him so bad and truth be told, would have begged him to fuck her right then and there if they weren’t surrounded by hundreds of people. 

However, nothing happened. He paid her no attention throughout the entire film except for the hand that rested on her thigh. The minutes ticked on and on and on as the cast went up on stage to say a few words when the film ended. By the time they finally finished and were in the car to the afterparty, she was a horny, disgruntled mess. 

She kept her eyes trained on the window, even though it was tinted, when she felt Michael slide into the seat next to her. Two could play the ignoring game, she decided. 

His hand slid into the slit of her dress, pushing the expensive material to the side so he could have full access. When she did not part her legs for him immediately, he let out a disgruntled growl that was meant to be a command. She pretended she did not hear him and ignored it. 

He merely shook his head and laughed. “Aight, baby girl.” He pushed her knees apart with his hands, it took everything in her not to moan and keep her face stoic. 

His fingers immediately slid into her panties, the heat of her arousal hiting his skin before he even made contact with her body. He caressed soft circles into her clit. She gave him nothing, no moans, no humping into his hand. Nothing. So he upped the ante and turned the device on to the highest setting it had available. 

“Fuck!” She cried out, unable to keep it in as her body was assaulted with pleasure. The vibrator was more than enough to make her cum but adding his thumb against her clit was just simply unfair in her opinion. 

His free hand grasped her chin, firmly but loose enough that it was not painful and forced her eyes on him. Her breathing was heavy as she felt pleasure building fast in her core. Tears pricked her eyes, not from pain, but overwhelming, soul shattering pleasure, “You wanted me to make you cum in that theater, didn't you? In front of all those people like the filthy whore you are? Didn’t you? Upset that I ignored you? But guess what, baby girl?” he switched the setting to a lower one to keep her on the cusp of pleasure without sending her over. 

She let out a soft sob of agony as he held her there, suspended right at the cusp of her orgasm. This was more tortuous than him stopping cold turkey because she was so close she could taste it. And he kept it just out of reach. Every pulse, every caress of his finger was so much and overwhelming but still was not enough. And there was nothing she could do to force him to give her more. 

“Your body is mine, your pleasure is mine. And I decide when to fuck you, when you cum, when you suck my dick… I decide when you’ve been good… when you’ve been bad and what to do about it. It’s all mine. You can ignore me all you want but see how quickly you fell apart? You can’t win against me, baby girl. Daddy always wins. You understand?” 

She nodded rapidly, her body shaking lightly as she teetered on the edge, pleasure was consuming her every cell. She could barely think of anything but the raging inferno in her core.  “I-I understand. P-Please…” her voice broke. She felt as if she would quite literally perish if she did not come soon. He had never kept her on edge this long, a few seconds sure. But time was stretching into minutes. 

“You think you deserve it?” 

She didn’t deserve it, she knew the answer he wanted. “N-No, no… I’ve b-been bad, a bad girl. I d-deserve to be punished b-but I’m begging you… l-let me cum. I c-can’t… P-please,” her voice begged him for mercy. 

Deciding that she would pass out if he continued this game any farther, he pressed the button to return it to its highest setting. Her scream was nearly inaudible as she came on his fingers, her body shook as she gripped the door handle, shuddering through an intense orgasm. 

“That’s it, cum for me,” he whispered in her ear. “That’s a good girl…” 

“Thank you, t-thank you,” she babbled back to him as he talked her through her orgasm. He turned the vibrator off completely, finally giving her a break. 

“Allen, circle the block a few times.” 

“Yes, sir.” 

At the sound of Allen’s voice, Raven’s eyes flew open and shock and humiliation set in. She had just cum… with another person in the car. And she had completely forgotten he was there. Once Michael had started going, the presence of another human being in their vicinity had completely vanished. She glanced up, surprised to find the limo divider up. She didn't even know when that happened. However, she knew that that barrier was not sound proof. However, instead of being utterly turned off by that idea, it just turned her on more. 

“You like knowing Allen heard you?” Michael whispered in her ear. 

“No,” she shot back as she fixed her dress and used the compact mirror she had stored in the limo before the premiere to fix her makeup. Thankfully she still looked pristine, despite feeling physically depleted. She did not know how she and Michael went round after round when one orgasm made her want to cuddle up under the covers and fall asleep. 

“I keep tellin’ you how much I hate lies. But you never listen. Might think because we have a long night and I got an early mornin’ that you’ll escape punishment. But you won’t. Means I have a couple weeks to think of the perfect punishment for such… insubordination.” 

“Don't threaten me with a good time,” she offered with a sweet smile and a wink that made him laugh. 

He did not get a chance to retort when Allen pulled up at the venue of the after party. He gave Raven a once over before getting out of the limo and grasping her hand. He longed to bury himself inside her but he knew he did not have time, at least not enough time to satisfy the urges he had. And while he would toy with public sex, this was not the venue or event to be caught fucking in the bathroom, as much as he wanted to. 

No, he supposed he would just deal with cold showers for two weeks until he could fuck her again, and spank her until she begged for mercy. Her pleas had done something to him, sweet music to his ears. The perfect orchestra. And he would use every free moment of the next few weeks to think of ways to get that sound again. 

***

Michael rubbed his eyes as he scrolled through his email. He knew he would sleep well on the plane. He hated the first thing in the morning flights but he knew they were the only way to keep up with his crazy press schedule. 

“We’ve arrived, Mr. Jordan,” Allen called from the front seat, Michael immediately hopping out. Allen grabbed his sea of bags as he waved at his castmates who were also just arriving to the tarmac. 

“Thanks, man. See you when I get back. Make sure Rae gets home ok today, aight? Then enjoy your time off.” 

“Thank you, sir,” Allen responded as he handed off his bags to the baggage attendants who would ensure they made it onto the plane. 

Michael started to walk away and head to the flight when he heard his name behind him. 

“Mr. Jordan!” Allen called after him, causing Michael to turn around. The older man jogged up to him. “A word of advice? If I am not overstepping my bounds?” 

Michael nodded, allowing the man to continue. Allen rarely spoke, he was the type who liked to do his job quietly and fade into the background.  And he preferred to keep it professional with Michael though there were a few topics they could shoot the shit over while in the car like basketball and the like. But Michael knew that meant Allen likely knew more about him than anyone else on this planet, which meant he would have been a fool not to hear him out. 

“Avoiding love and companionship, even when it is right there waiting for you to take it, will never bring you happiness. And some would say such an ill-guided venture was foolish and selfish, particularly when the world is filled with people like Ms. Turner who love and seek out love with their whole souls and it's denied to them at every turn. And you may be a bit selfish, Mr. Jordan,” Allen admitted. “But I never pegged you as foolish.” 

“What’re you sayin’?” 

“I’m saying that it does not matter how this whole thing between the two of you started. It only matters how you end it. And whether you are brave enough to admit to her and yourself that perhaps you don’t want it to end at all.” Allen patted him on the arm before taking a step back. “There’s no reward for loneliness, Mr. Jordan… no Oscar to win for denying yourself more when you know you want it. The only prize those actions will give you is a lifetime of regret. And I believe you’re living a life too bright to have it dimmed by regrets.” he paused. “I hope I have not overstepped too much. But… well, there was a time a decade or two ago when I would’ve liked someone to overstep and tell me that.” 

Michael stared at him for a few moments before he nodded. After his last very public and embarrassing breakup, he vowed never to fall in love again. Years of women warming his bed before he kicked them out before sunrise. He got what he wanted and gave nothing of himself… to any of them. But Raven… from the moment he watched her staring out that window, he gave without even realizing how much he had given. And now, he felt things for her that he had not felt for a woman in so long. Hell, he wondered if he had ever felt this strongly for another person in his entire life. He wanted more… not a contract or a business dealing. He wanted her. Was he being utterly foolish by pretending that was not the case? 

 “You did… overstep.” His tone was a bit cold but he was unsurprised at how Allen did not backtrack or shrink. He said his piece, called him out and was willing to accept whatever the consequences of that were. “But maybe I need more people to do that. Will you do me a couple favors when you go back to the penthouse to pick up Raven?” 

“Anything, sir.” 

***

Raven groaned as she turned over in Michael’s soft bed. She had fallen asleep in his master bedroom alone, as she always did when they slept here. He always took the guest room. She wondered if she should be more sad that they slept separately but she agreed that that was not intimacy either one of them truly needed. She groped around the bed for her phone, groaning when she realized it was already 11 a.m. Thankfully, she had another two hours before her shift but she knew she needed to hurry up so she could get home and change into her real clothes, not the fancy designer ones she kept there. 

She pulled herself out of bed and stretched, part of her sad that Michael opted to go to sleep instead of fucking her. She understood he had an early day but she could not deny that all she wanted was for him to bend her into a pretzel after that orgasm in the car. But last night was, for the most part, strictly work. They did not get home and go to bed until 3 am and he had to get up shortly thereafter to catch his flight. And now she was left with nothing but a vibrator and fantasies of him to occupy her until he returned. But he had succeeded in giving her something to remember him by. She walked into the kitchen to grab a glass of water, rubbing her eyes as she dragged her feet across the hardwood floors.

Michael gave her free reign of his penthouse, even when he was not there. She did not spend the night there often but she had started to learn her way around, figure out where the sparse things he kept there were. A few dishes, a couple glasses, a fridge filled with coconut water and little food. When she slept there, so did he. But she had never really stopped to wonder where he spent the rest of his time. She guessed he had some giant mansion in the hills like every other star. But she wondered if that one was just as cold as this one, just as void of comfort and love, just as sterile. 

She guessed it was not. Otherwise, he would have her come there. No, that one was the sanctuary for the real him, she imagined it was warm and overflowing with his favorite things. Japanese anime artifacts and art and memorabilia and his awards and family photos and all the things that meant something to him. And this one was merely for his image, sterile and artificial. 

She blinked a couple of times, shocked to find a neat and perfectly packaged gift bag waiting on the counter with a long envelope sitting up against it. 

She sucked her teeth and chuckled, “This nigga. I thought I said no gifts,” she muttered to herself as she grabbed a glass of water and sat at the barstool. Part of her contemplated not opening it. What had he even given her a gift for? Her birthday was weeks ago. But her desire to know what he got her won out. 

She went to the envelope first, her name written in handwriting far too nice to be Michael’s on the front. She flipped it over and smiled as the person had written on the back: Open me last :) 

“On the other side of the damn country and still giving commands.” 

And you’re still following them, she imagined his voice shooting back at her as she placed the thick envelope to the side and reached into the bag. She made quick work of discarding the multi-colored gift bag paper to reveal two books. She pulled the first one out. 

“Whoa,” she muttered as she took in a first edition copy of I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings. She turned it over in her hands, mouth agape as she studied it. It was beautiful and she knew it cost a pretty penny.  

Her hand reached into the bag and pulled out a book she knew all too well. Her own. An odd gift, she thought, though she supposed it was sweet that he went looking for it in the first place. She wondered how he found it as she published under a pseudonym but she imagined a man with his resources could find out almost anything he wanted with time. 

She flipped it open as she sat back down on her bed, a smaller envelope the size of a card falling out of it. He had stuck it in on the acknowledgements page, which read: From one dreamer to another. 

She opened Michael’s card and took in his handwriting. 

Thank you for sharing what you did with me on your birthday. I know the day isn’t easy. And apologies that this gift was so late - but I figured this was a loophole in the no gifts rule if you got it weeks later? And it took some time to track down your book. You didn’t make it easy. I’m looking forward to reading it on my flight. I generally agree with everything you say but I would disagree with one thing you said that night. The first time we met, you said Maya Angelou’s book saved you and gave you hope. I’m sure somewhere in this world, a young girl is reading your book and it’s doing the same for her. That’s something good that came out of October 15: the world got you. And that’s worth celebrating in my opinion. 

I hope, one day, you see that too.

Happy Birthday

Michael 

Raven let the tears that streamed down her face fall, one of them splashing against the glossy cover of her book. She wiped it away before rereading his card over and over again. She hated how he seemed to see her, really see her, and everything she truly needed. There he was again, caring more than anyone else, more than he should have, even when she was mad at him.  It just made her want him for every reason she shouldn’t. She should want to fuck him… she should want his money… That was all she signed up to get. A few months of cash and to let him dick her down better than she ever had been before. All her problems and loneliness solved, at least temporarily.

Instead, her heart and soul were slipping deep into dangerous territory, he was dangerous territory. She still tried to force herself to resist it, her body hanging by a rope that was fraying at the middle as if an invisible force was taking an ax to it. And she did not know if she wanted to scramble back onto the ledge or let herself fall.

After a few minutes, she picked up the other envelope and slid the folded up pieces of paper out of it. The first one made her gasp… a flight confirmation for a first class ticket to Paris dated for one week from today. The second page was a short list of the things she should pack.  And the third was her hotel confirmation, a suite at a hotel she could not even pronounce but one quick google search let her know it was one of the nicest and most expensive hotels the city had to offer. 

The last page only contained two sentences in Michael’s handwriting. 

I hope you have a passport. See you in one week.

Raven spread the pages out on the counter, her face paralyzed in shock. 

“What the actual fuck?” She examined all of them, rereading as if the information on them would vanish or change right before her eyes. But the flight confirmation had her name on it, the hotel room… her name. It was all there in black and white. He was inviting her to Paris. 

“I should say no…” she spoke to herself, a false ring of conviction in her voice. “I can’t accept this.” Her internal debate raged as she paced up and down by the kitchen island, her eyes studying the papers with each pass. 

You know you want to, the devil on her shoulder reasoned. And fuck, did she want to. It’s fun… when’s the last time we took a trip or did anything fun? 

She had never wanted to accept anything as badly as she wanted to accept this. She chewed on her lip so hard she was surprised she did not draw blood as she debated and debated. Until her phone buzzed with a text from Mr. Surprises himself.

Michael: damn you sleep late as hell. 

Michael: Am I gonna see you in Paris in a week?

Raven: This was a huge gamble… What if I didn’t have a passport? 🤔

Michael: It was a huge gamble but not because of the passport. Consider it PTO… Come live a little. 

Michael: So did my gamble pay off or nah? 

She read through the papers one more time, deciding then and there that she was 100% going to Paris. Even her pride could not allow her to deny herself this experience. However, she decided to make him sweat a little, though she doubted he actually would. 

Raven: I guess you’ll find out in seven days. Thanks for the gift.  

Raven locked her phone before chuckling to herself. She grabbed her phone and the itinerary page and let out an excited squeal and did a happy dance before she raced off to her closet. She had a trip to pack for. 

Tag list: @readinghere2023 @blackerthings @prettyisasprettydoes1306 @physicxal @purplehairgawdess @miyuhpapayuh @rueruesclues @geemamii @certifiedlesbianbaddie @pipsqueak-98 @nyifly22 @destinio1 @twocentaur @gopaperless @musicisme333@roguekiki @majesticbrownjawn @taurusqueen83 @mysteryuz @miamormilan @itsknor-thedeep @naj-ay444 @mads-grace4 @nayaesworld @kholdkill @msniaimani @nccu-rnc

***

A/N: Wellllllllll… a lot happened! A little angst, a little fluff, a little smut lol just gave y'all the full spectrum of things. And it wouldn't be one of my fics if I didn't give you a character or two to despise along the way lol

Next chapter, we go to Paris, which not gonna lie… that wasn't in the OG outline of this haha but inspiration struck and now I'm very excited lol Drop a comment and let me know all your thoughts lol Thanks for reading!

#black writers #michael b jordan #michael b jordan x oc #mbjordanedit #michael b jordan x reader #black panther #michael b jordan fanfic #creed 3 #adonis creed #creed iii

[utilitycaster]

The wildest part about people being mad on Imogen's behalf is Imogen herself understood Keyleth's position in spite of her own wishful thinking, helps acquire the blue flowers for her, was the first to acknowledge the Changebringer's help, and the first to say "I'm sorry" to Orym losing more of his people. I'm really baffled to read these "Orym is manipulative" takes and that it was dangerous of Keyleth to validate his anger. Do you think it goes back to the god stuff, or is it just Imodna?

I think a little of column A, little of column B, little of several other things. Since I've been on the "hey could we consider that Imogen and Laudna are adult women who are responsible for their own actions" train for over a year, the specific "Imogen can be mean-spirited as well as unintentionally insensitive" train since at least this past February, and the "Orym is correct and Bor'Dor signed his own death warrant by casting Vitriolic Sphere at a group of people who were not violent towards him" train for a month, let's break it down.

There are a small handful of people in the fandom who just really hate Liam. Per a very salty rant I put into my drafts shortly after 3x63 to describe this type of person, it is a small, scattered, bizarre group of people who for no apparent reason have decided to be foaming-at-the-mouth levels of furious because, as far as I can tell, a nerdy Gen X-er dad who went to Tisch is kind of corny sometimes. Anyway nothing he does will ever sit well with them so we can ignore them forever. Moving on.

Some is Imodna; I thought the whole issue of Imogen and Laudna as agency-less infants against a cruel world would have been ameliorated by them entering a canon relationship (one currently compatible with the 2013 Pinterest board vibes of fanon no less) but it appears to have not been the case. For more on this, see this still relevant post and, while I personally haven't ever written something up, there's just, again, a complete black hole of empathy from a segment of the fandom when it comes to any of the other characters; my post from this morning about Imogen as compared to Caleb touches upon it. You know the Far Side cartoon where a guy is talking to his dog and the dog only recognizes a small handful of words? I feel this is similar, like, they see that Imogen wanted one thing and Orym and Keyleth wanted another thing that wasn't even, as you point out, terribly incompatible, and then the "well if not thing Imogen wants and not 100% deferential to her then BAD BAD BAD" attitude kicked in.

But I do think, in the end, a lot of it does come back to if not the gods exactly, the idea that the Vanguard is, unmistakably, the enemy. They are not the revolution here to usher in a new era of rule by the people. Keyleth is not here to raze Vasselheim to the ground but to have a diplomatic discussion; neither is she here to grant any leniency to the woman who attacked Vax regardless of her connection to Imogen. And she finds the idea of a world without the gods, regardless of her own personal feelings, to be one to be avoided. [sidebar: I hope we get Matt on 4SD; I am wondering, after the one-two-three punch of Hevestro, the Raven Queen, and Keyleth all placing a heavy thumb on the scale opposing the Vanguard if he did not expect the party to be as conflicted about the role of the gods and is trying to wind up an argument that I think as of last episode reached the end of its useful life.] When you couple that with Orym's positive attitude towards the gods, that explains the animosity towards him.

The undermining of Orym's position over the past few episodes has always been one of emotion. First he was not objective - as if anyone else was objective! As if any moral decision is ever 100% objective! We all have biases! What kind of early 2000s atheist forum shit are you on to claim perfect rationality that conveniently matches the ideas that apparently came to you in a godless vision? It's insane. Then it was his grief; grief makes you irrational (unless you're Imogen grieving Laudna, in which case you are objectively right at all times, even as you shout down every other suggestion, beseech Laudna's first murderer, not a month later consider the potential validity of the her second, and try to to undo her immutable past) and remember, moral decisions must be made by the rational. Then it was his impatience (nevermind that Imogen has absolutely no patience). And now it's his anger, and he's apparently been manipulating the party the whole time by...having suggestions for the group which he mentions, and openly stating what he was feeling and what he wanted, and not intuiting that Laudna reawoke Delilah with his approximately no magical ability and then encouraging her to finish a job she had started herself. Because god Rational Objective Conceptual Being forbid women do anything; it is the role of the man to protect their fragile souls from all consequences.

Even more generally I think a lot of people- not just in this fandom, though certainly within this fandom - are terrified of anger. Like, they think they like it - they say they love barbarians (though rage is its own beast and I think very different from the anger Orym and Keyleth exhibit) but most of the discussion of them tends to veer more into angst, and most players of barbarians are often exploring emotions like grief, self-pity (as Ashton says), or frustration just as much if not more so than anger. I think a lot of people perceive anger as this awful thing inside them to be controlled and denied, or alternately to only be let out for whatever they think is a sufficiently righteous cause, and instead sit in an increasingly toxic stew of simmering resentment and conflict avoidance until they begin to think this is not just normal but aspirational - anything but that awful beast they call anger. It's not new in discussions of Keyleth, and it's not limited to her and Orym; I can point to nearly every single character who has had even the slightest of outbursts - even something as mild and controlled as Orym's whispered profanity or less - and I promise you there's been pearl-clutching for every single one of them.

Anyway, you make great points! One of the things that struck me about this episode and prompted my frustration and my post earlier today is that Imogen has changed. I think she's been mulling over Liliana since her appeals to her during the Key's activation were unsuccessful; she hesitantly told Chetney when he asked in Uthodurn that yes, if Liliana's death is necessary, she understands; and I think seeing the utter devastation and pain that was inflicted on Keyleth brought it into focus. She was much more open to FCG and the coin as well. And, you know, if one had embraced Imogen's moral ambiguity in the leadup to the solstice, and the possibility that she could betray the party, instead of shouting that down? Then one could see this as a beautiful moment of growth for Imogen. One could, in fact, if one was so inclined, attribute it to her new sense of ease thanks to her circlet, or even to her nascent romantic relationship. If one, of course, had wholeheartedly embraced Imogen's past moral ambiguity and the possibility of her betrayal.

#answered #Anonymous #critical role spoilers #critical role #long post

[pagodazz]

Dudeee i fr didnt know people publicly like wrote nsfw shit on like tiktok comments about the cast of emh and im so glad I never saw that like i only ever saw stuff like “I can fix him” “writing abt him in my diary and kicking my feet” 😭 like the wildest thing I saw was probably like. Edits w mildly sexual audios!!!

I think most ppl posting these comments and commenting r like kids?? But Jesus it’s so insane it’s so easy for younger ppl to pull ts bc today u have suchhhh an easy access online :// like idc if u write/read fanfics but I gotta say when ppl start writing abt like rape n shit it makes me queasy so I can’t imagine the actors learning abt that, hope ur doing well tho!! Thank you for bringing awareness to this!!! I think people always go too far w actors like fine write fan fictions of the character but actors is wild

Ranted so much I’m so sorry omg I’m so sorry no one I talk to know my niche interests 💔💔

IM DOING WELL I hope u are too!!!

and I'm honestly very happy that so many people are seeing my post about this situation, because it's just starting to get worse especially since some of these edits are getting 20k+ likes from people who DO NOT KNOW THE MEDIA AS WELL... it's so aughh,,,

The actor of Vinnie was just so upset when the fics w rape started to be written, since he was VERY active in the fandom, I mean he even used to answer DMS and shit for questions but. do you see him anymore 😭😭😭 no bc... he had minors being predatory towards him?? it's so. wild.

I try to post about this topic again and again and this is the FIRST time one of my posts has actually gotten alot of attention, I think it might be do to the fact I felt just so frustrated when I wrote it. I had delt with seeing multiple TikToks in a row with sexual audios and videos talking about how big a characters ass his and how they wanna have sex with them and it's just. AUGH. like 😭😭😭⁉️⁉️⁉️ keep that to ur DMS.

and don't be sorry about ranting !!!!!!! I don't mind being a space to dump some thoughts sometimes!!!! if you ever have emh questions or wanna share some of ur thoughts my asks are open!!!! I'll always try my best to answer them,,, it may take me awhile since I've got alot going on in this head of mine, but!!!!!!! I love hearing people talk about things they enjoy!!!

#🐍 ⦻ #everymanhybrid #emh #slenderverse #marble hornets #mlandersen0 #dh00

[hopelessdelusional]

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

you need to calm down

good morning😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊

i uh. dunno what to say here anymore so, WELCOME BACK AND ENJOY!

(nailed it)

fun facts! ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

- hitoshi’s pfp for y/n is from years ago, like back before he dyed his hair purple🤯

- the way the reactions to the text is like cut off is pissing me off so bad but i can’t fix it so apologies if it also bothers you there’s nothing i can do 😔💔

- i know i’ve slightly hinted at this before but kami has seriously been hung up on hitoshi for like. ever. little does he know toshi is also infatuated with him as well

- ochako was the one who got y/n into pitch perfect

- toshi has a hard time being outright affectionate, his love language is more so acts of service and quality time, and y/n knows that and is very patient with him

- hitoshi did fall asleep in y/n’s bed, like passed the fuck out at 3AM whilst y/n was up working on her dream board for what she wants to do with katsuki’s shoot

- izuku and shoto came into the shoot during y/n’s lunch break and convinced zu to pose and let her take pictures, the results were amazing

- also i’m literally so scared that these ppl that i fan casted as mha characters are gonna see this…like i didn’t think of it until now and im shaking in my boots, shitting my pants terrified

←Prev┊˚✧ ┊ Next→

·˚ ༘₊· ͟͟͞͞꒰➳ updates every wednesday and sunday! happy wildest dreams sunday ✧.*

·˚ ༘₊· ͟͟͞͞꒰➳ TAGLIST IS OPEN just message or comment: @iiilovemilfs @0anodite0 @bakugouswh0r3 @amethyst123 @nijirosz @bakugoukatsukiwifiu @allnamesredacted @ch3rryhaze @ectoplasmictoast @cathwritestragediesnotsins @tati-the-fangirl @autumnfay @call-me-prodigy

#smau #social media au #bakugou x reader #denki kaminari #sero hanta #bakugou katsuki #iida tenya #kirishima eijirou #midoriya izuku #mina ashido #shoto torodoki #urakara ochako #momo yaoyorozu #kyoko jirou #hitoshi shinsou #yn #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #mha #bnha #wildest dreams sunday

[lolotheparagon]

Yknow, dating sims sure do make up the wildest shit to justify you dating standard anime guys. Hey, do you want to date actual historical figures (Napoleon, Vincent Van Gogh) but as vampires? How about you get isekaied into the middle of a fantasy civil war with the warring armies representing different Alice in Wonderland characters and Wonderland is actually a generic fantasy kingdom and btw you are the reincarnation of Alice for some reason, oh hey you want to date these mafia guys in 1920s Italy but Mussolini is not mentioned (almost as if what’s the fucking point setting this game in Italy) Or what if you want to date modern Japanese cops? BUT DONT WORRY ALL COPS ARENT BAHHHD. Do you also want to discuss the inherent corruption in the police for- Hey, you wanna play as a time-travelling reporter who finds a wholesome found family with her studio-mandated male harem? Sure, but after we spend two hours failing to tackle drug trafficking and illegal immigration and using trauma for shock value. What about a game where you play a woman who suffered amnesia and is trying to piece back the fragments of her past with her chosen boyfriend and you have to rekindle your relationship with him? Nah, lets leave all her characterisation to a pixie flying in her head and make her harem consist of an abuser, a serial rapist, her math tutor and a terrorist. Theres one where you play as a librarian who got kidnapped and sent to the palace and is forced to sign a royal contract where you have to MONITOR 1 OUT OF 12 PRINCES to see which one should be the king cos the brothers are split into two parties on which one should be king and only the woman can choose cos apparently the contract need some pure hearted woman to be an unbiased party?? WHATT. There's a game where you play as a literal living doll with poisonous skin who's the clone of someone's long dead daughter being abducted by a fancy thief and now lives in steampunk London to start a new life BUT OOOHHH IT TURNS OUT YOU HAVE A SECRET LITTLE BROTHER WHO REVEALS YOU WERE THE 666TH CLONE EVER EXISTED AND IT TURNS OUT YOUR CREATOR DAD HATED YOU WOOOOOO SCARY!!! QUEEN VICTORIA IS THERE AND ALSO A TERRORIST WHO WANTS TO NUKE GREAT BRITAIN WITH THE MC'S POWERS AND A MAGIC TREE. (well at least they were accurate in Britain's vampiric levels of colonisation) OH AND APPARENTLY THE SOURCE OF YOUR POWERS COMES FROM A HEART SHAPED PHILOSOPHER'S STONE EMBEDDED IN YOUR CLEAVAGE.

BUT WAIT THERE'S STILL MORE

There's another game where you play as the female reincarnation of Cupid (So Aphrodite, then?) and you are sent to Earth to be a matchmaker and you would think someone whos a literal love goddess would be very worldly, snarky and doesnt fall for any traps men pull in dating BUT NOPE SHES JUST AS DAINTY AND NAIVE AS EVERY OTHER VISUAL NOVEL PROTAGONIST. WHAT ABOUT A GAME WHERE YOU PLAY AS A WOMAN WHO JUST TURNED 18 AND BECAUSE SHE IS THE LAST OF HER "WHITE" CLAN SHE HAS TO GET A HUSBAND AND EVERY TIME SHE DATES A PERSON FROM A DIFFERENT COLOURED CLAN HER HAIR GETS DIFFERENT HIGHLIGHTS AND ALSO THERES A RIGID CASTE SYSTEM IN THE WORLD BASED ON THE COLOUR OF YOUR CLAN AND THERE IS DISCRIMINATION AND PREJUDICES AGAINST THE CONSIDERED LOWER COLOURS, SO MUCH SO IF A HIGHER COLOUR CLAN PERSON DATES A LOWER COLOUR CLAN PERSON, THEY GET BANISHED INTO THE UNDERWORLD. COS THATS WHAT DATING SIMS NEED! CLASSISM, RACISM AND EUGENICS! THE WHOLE FUCKING NINE YARDS.

AND FINALLY IF THAT DOESNT SELL YOU, WHAT ABOUT:

A GAME WHERE YOU PLAY AS A DAUGHTER OF A PRIEST WHO HAS THE BLOOD OF EVE (my god XD) THAT MAKES HER IRRESISTABLE TO VAMPIRES AND SHE BECOMES A SEX SLAVE/CHEW TOY FOR EVERY ROMANCEABLE CHARACTER IN THE STORY. AND YET WE'RE SUPPOSED TO SYMPATHISE WITH THE RAPIST VAMPIRES BECAUSE THEY HAVE MOMMY ISSUES....THIS GAME BECAME A MULTIMEDIA FRANCHISE

...Whatever happened to games where we just date decent people?

#otome games #visual novels #i havent play half of these games i only know up the grapevine #i have a lot of cursed knowledge and im not gonna suffer alone #ive seen things #this is why indie otome games are like so much better #play peachleaf valley or hummingbirds crown #tw sa mention #tw rasicm #tw rape mention #tw Diabolik lovers #tw classism #tw colourism

[nena-96]

No 1 of the I still prompts 😇

I still smell the traces of your scent on my bedsheets; my clothes; my pillowcase

I’d love Romione but feel free to write whatever comes to your mind ☺️

Hello, dear friend

What a lovely an unexpected ask ;) haha, thanks for sending one my way and I hope that you enjoy what I come up with. Lets go with a little Romione for this prompt, shall we :)

Here is my take on the "I still prompts"

No 1: "I still smell the traces of your scent on my bedsheets; my clothes; my pillowcase" (from @dumplingsjinson prompt list)

please read below or over on A03

His Scent Calms Her

She remembers the way he twirled her, when they danced at his brother’s wedding underneath the tent. It was almost as if nobody else existed in the world. It had taken her by surprise that Ron had even asked her to dance. Hermione had thought that the appearance of a certain Bulgarian Quidditch player would have complicated things between the two lifelong friends, yet it was a blessing in disguise. 

Especially since Ron had gazed into her eyes while they danced and reassured her that she was never his last resort and he was practicing all bloody morning in ways to ask her to the dance floor. Hermione had felt her heart flutter at his confession, if it wasn’t for Fred spinning one of Fleur’s Veela cousins and bumping into them. She was almost certain that Ron was going to close the distance between them and finally place his lips onto hers. Yet, the interruption had broken the spell between them. Even though they hadn’t kissed that night, just dancing with Ron would be enough for her to think of a happy memory and cast her Patronus.

The wedding was a distant memory now, one of the few she would let herself indulge in every now and again. As she laid on her cot, as she stared at Ron’s empty bed, she knew she shouldn’t torture herself by making his bed and fluffing the pillows in the way she saw him do countless times. Yet, she would do it because…. well because she has this feeling that one day, he’d come back to her and she would do everything to prove to him that he means so much more to her than what he imagines. The night when everything went to shit, Hermione felt so numb and utterly lost because she realized that she had taken Ron for grated far too many times.

The only thing that had kept her anchored to her spot when she re-entered the tent was Ron’s blanket. It might sound cliché, but his scent was the only thing that kept her going each and every night on the hunt. Which is why she had casted a charm, once she stopped shaking from crying so much. She had casted a spell after spell in order to protect his scent from ever fading from his blankets. Hermione did the same for his bedsheets, and her clothes. Which in reality she was wearing one of his old jumpers that was far too big on her small frame. Yet, the warmth that this knitted jumper had managed to calm her, especially since she’d bring the collar so close to her face that she’d inhale the distinctive scent that is Ron Bilius Weasley.

She knew that her charms were strong but, she would always worry that one day his scent would be gone. If that ever happened then, she’d realize that a piece of her would always be missing, never to return again, not even in her wildest dreams.

Whenever she’d go out and search for mushrooms, which had become quite scarce due to the blankets of snow covering the forest ground. She would do her best to make a small plate and place it on the small table besides the cot, because he’d come back. Many times, Harry would see this, but he would never complain like he did a few times before, no matter what he’d say, Hermione would continue leaving a small plate of mushroom and berry soup, besides Ron’s empty cot before taking her turn on watch. Only to return and notice the plate covered with ants and the occasional mice, and no food left.

Hermione would torture herself, every single night with memories of her Ron, she would hug her pillow... which was his pillow to be more accurate and close her eyes and let his scent from the pillowcase, and lull her into a sleep as she dreams of her Ron. whether it be from their times studying together or their trip to Hogsmeade, the shared chores that Mrs. Weasley had given them to finish, or even those late-night patrols through Hogwarts that ran a little past curfew. The memory that would surpass every single one would be the moment from Bill and Fleur’s wedding. It was the moment underneath the large tent, dancing with the boy that once had dirt on his nose all those years ago on her first train ride to Hogwarts, was beautiful. There were simply words in the dictionary to describe how much she loved having his strong arms wrapped around her waist in a gentle hold. The way that he whispered in her ear that she's “beautiful” had caused a warmth to spread all throughout her, while she tried to hide her blushing face. 

Who would have thought that once she’d get the feel of being wrapped in his warm embrace, that she would become addicted to the feeling? This made her thankful that Ron didn’t dance with Padma when they went to the Yule Ball together… it’s not like she kept a watchful eye on the red-head that night. She was just merely observing the other students dancing and Ron just so happened to be in her peripheral vision several times that night. Even with those overly ruffled maroon dress robes, he still was still the most handsome boy at the ball even if she was dancing with one of the Triwizard Champions. Viktor was alright but he was much too agreeable for her liking, she needed someone who could voice out their stance when they’d bicker, someone whose face is decorated with so many freckles that it rivaled all the stars in the sky. She needed someone who would defend her with a broken wand, someone who had belched up far too many slugs, just to defend her from Malfoy’s taunts, that she later learned from Ron that it was a horrid slur used for Muggleborns that was meant to belittle those that come from Muggle background. 

 Hermione knew that the boy she needed in her life wasn’t some famous Quidditch player, it was the boy that was wearing hand-me down dress robes. The youngest of the Weasley boys, Ron Weasley the boy that managed to steal her heart without even knowing. If only she could have used her Gryffindor courage and voiced out her feelings to Ron, maybe just maybe he wouldn't have let that blasted locket drive him away from everything that they built together. The moment she looked into his eyes, while the rain was pouring down on them, she knew at that moment things were different.

 Oh, how she wished she could’ve gone with him, but they both knew, she couldn’t. They had made a promise to each other at Grimmauld, that no matter what they would always be on the same page as the other. Yet, did that mean she broke her own promise by staying in that beat up tent? Was it because she doted on him while trying to help him heal from the splinching, or was it because he was tired of having her so close to him? It was times like these when Hermione blamed herself for not trying enough to make Ron stay with them…. with her. 

That locket must have riddled his mind with lies and left a lasting effect. It didn’t help that Harry had taunted him with, “running back to mummy” and shouting for him to leave not once… but twice. Why couldn’t she have that bloody Time-Turner, why did she give it back to McGonagall? Most of all why wasn’t he back…. It’s been weeks and still nothing. Hermione knows that he’s still alive, and it has nothing to do with the fact that she’s listening like a hawk besides the radio every day and before she sleeps. No, it was because she refuses to believe that Ron Weasley would be another casualty to the war, she knows Ron all too well. That being said, Hermione never loses hope that he will return its just a matter of time before she doesn’t have to strengthen the spell on her clothes, pillowcase or bedsheets. In was only a matter of time before Hermione’s senses are once again engulfed with the scent that is Ron Weasley. Her Ron will be back and she will make things clear that, she chooses him the one she was dancing with in Ottery St. Catchpole.

Tonight, was different because she whispered his name,"Ron." She had refused to say his name because of the hurt she had felt in her heart for his departure, but know she doesn't care anymore, nothing will stop her from saying his name not even herself.

"Ron.... Ron.... Ron." 

She knows he'll be back its just a matter of time.

#ron weasley #hermione granger x ron weasley #DH missing moment #Longing #ron x hermione #Ronmione #nena writes #Romione OTP #HP Romione fanfic

[mod2amaryllis]

Lots of people are coming out with their best shows/movies/anime etc. of the year, and since you have such impeccable taste I'd love to hear yours! Only if it's okay ofc! Have a wonderful rest of 2022 and great 2023!

ok this is the only end of year reflection i have the capacity to do tonight, lemme thiiink ummm it was a big year for things tbh!!! I'll just ramble i guess, first up...

TV SHOWS

SEVERANCE: possibly the best first season of a show I've ever seen, and absolutely the best s1 finale of a show I've ever seen, huge ups to @tricktster for recommending it. you've probably heard it a million times but if you haven't, GO WATCH SEVERANCE, it lives up to the hype.

THE REHEARSAL: the magic trick that this show pulls is so bizarre and unprecedented it's like. impossible for me to even talk about. the entire time watching it i was gaping at my tv in open disbelief. it does and says so much in the wildest ways possible I'm still obsessed.

WHAT WE DO IN THE SHADOWS S4: three words, Baby Colin Robinson

ANDOR: I'm not a star wars guy at allll. not even a little bit. my expectations have never been high. but when i saw @variastrix loving it up on my dash i was like okaaay and holy shit. SO good. the prison arc especially was just like OUUUGHH THEMES AND DIALOGUE OFF THE CHARTS!!!

ANIME

SPY X FAMILY: what's especially fun is that we were in Japan while the second part of the season was dropping and Anya was fucking eeeeverywhere!!! everyone agrees with me cannot get ENOUGH of that funny little girl!!! best execution of fake dating trope everr the more convoluted the better.

MOB PSYCHO 100 III: ......like. c'mon what is there to even say. what's there to saaaaay! it's in my top 3 anime ever! the subversion of shonen anime has basically ruined all other stereotypical anime for me forever because it's just. so much better. so much funnier and more poignant to watch the most powerful boy ever strive to be a better person. i love that little guy and his silly conman role model

MOVIES

EVERYTHING EVERYWHERE ALL AT ONCE: i feel the same way about this movie as anyone else. saw the trailer, hooked instantly, then when i actually watched it i walked out going "this is the greatest movie I've ever seen??????" insanely shot, cast incredible, the whole premise simultaneously huge as a multiverse and small as an immigrant couple in a laundromat. this movie defined my cosmic outlook on life. that nothing matters, so we should make the most out of what and who we love. in any other year this would've been my far and away fave. but then came:

NOPE: you guys follow me. you've heard it already. this movie ..... this..... FUCKING MOVIE.... haunted me from the moment i saw that chimp covered in blood. it scared me so bad i wasn't even sure if i liked it but then i thought and kept thinking AND I THOUGHT AND KEPT THINKING AND I HAVEN'T STOPPED THINKING this movie this god damn movie. it's a social commentary, it's a blockbuster popcorn hit, it's about animals, it's about people, it's a creature feature, it's funny, it's glorious to look at it's glorious and i love it so so much. Jean jacket really is a beautiful name for a baby girl.

GAMES:

VAMPIRE SURVIVORS: this game is like if you broke gaming down to it's purest chemical form and injected it directly into your bloodstream. it's a game that might be perfect in its simplicity. it's also really funny that i can be a stinky old garlic man, i like that a lot. it's free on mobile what are you waiting for.

HORIZON FORBIDDEN WEST: i feel so fucking bad for this series not once, but TWICE releasing at the same time as two of the greatest games literally ever made (i still have to beat elden ring oops) because i love these games SO MUCH! they scratch a very particular itch for me which is plenty of upgradable weapons/armor for me to chase, incredibly in depth lore, and post apocalyptic robot dinosaurs. literally no notes. i love games like this that're like "we know what you want. you want to kill a spinosaurus with a bow and arrow and afterwards treat yourself to some incredible American vistas, here, take it, enjoy." it's an incredibly Me game. probably my goty if measured by how much fun i had playing it.

ALBUMS:

BRONCO BY ORVILLE PECK: the biggie. life changer. this beat out pony for me. makes me wanna be a lonesome cowboy in the Rockies so fucking bad i can taste it. like....im already thiiiis close to being a lonesome cowboy in the Rockies and when i listen to curse of the blackened eye on my morning walk, looking at the snow capped mountains, I'm there. I'm a cowboy baby. also saw him live and sobbed he's insane, the talent, he's just showing off he's nuts.

LAST NIGHT IN THE BITTERSWEET BY PAOLO NUTINI: through the echoes specifically. came up randomly in a mixed playlist and swiveled my head so fucking fast. one of my favorite artist finds of the year.

NOPE OST BY MICHAEL ABELS: that's right bitch nope gets featured TWICE, idc!!!

DANCE FEVER BY FLORENCE + THE MACHINE: this is the album to finally get me into Florence + the machine, before i was just into the hits but this album.... King? FREE???? DAFFODIL???????? good god welch

THINGS IN GENERAL

mfucking!!!!!!!!!

FISH!!!!!!!!!! 🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟💙💙💙💙✌️✌️✌️🥰🥰🥰🥰🐠🐠🐠🐟🐠🐟🐠🐟🐠🐟🐠🐡🐡🐡🐡🐡🦈🦈🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹

#this took me too long enjoy #goodbye 2022 you were huge #m2a #m2answers

[popculturerobots]

Digimon: The Movie

It's fuckin' wild. Can we talk about it? It was my introduction to Digimon (which is why I use the dub names for everyone, sorry not sorry), and it means a lot to me. There's so much dumb shit that I still love about it. The ridiculous story linking three films using a one-off character from the third one. Kari narrating everything (actually pretty cute). All the bad jokes used to "localize". The gag that Tai and Kari's mother can't cook. Tai apologizing for throwing up in Sora's hat. You've Got Mail!

I know this has already been done to Hell, but I just want to focus in on the soundtrack. So stick with me for a bit.

I rewatched the movie not too long ago and was surprised by how much of the soundtrack I just didn't remember. (like "Rockafeller Skank", what?) I knew the songs, but they just kind of blended into a vague sort of nostalgia. A lot of it probably had to do with how short the song drops were.

There's the "All Star" drop at the end with Endigomon where Willis calls him tone deaf (ouch), and a few other songs drop during battles. I want to point out "Nowhere Near" by Summercamp because T.K. wears shirts with the band name in tri. I also want to shout out "All My Best Friends Are Metalheads" by Less Than Jake because it's a great song by a great band. Ska punk forever.

It's probably a good thing I don't remember the "Digi Rap" because it's...not great. The "Digimon Theme", however, still gets stuck in my head to this day. It rules. Digimon are the champions. The main motif is also repeated during intense moments by the brass section throughout the score (performed by the Israel Philharmonic, I guess because Saban was US-Israeli). This movie is for sure one of the reasons I'm such a basic bitch for a brass line. That being said, I still prefer Butter-Fly (tri. all cast version best version).

"One Week" by Barenaked Ladies. Yeah, the meme song. It starts playing when Tai's apology email to Sora fails to send and continues through the exposition of where the other DigiDestined are. I thought this drop was so clever when I was younger. Unashamed to say this is a good song that I can sing entirely from memory.

And now the best drop of the entire movie. "The Impression That I Get" by The Mighty Mighty Bosstones. Good song, still in my rotation. It plays when Sora gets Tai's email and forgives him (or is implied to, at least) with the opening lines "have you ever been close to tragedy". Yes. And then it cuts to the missile poking out of the water. It tips over to the lyrics "so heavy you collapse". Again, yes. But the lyrics say "no". It's so dumb, and it makes me big dumb smile.

But the wildest part of all this is "Kids in America". Because the DigiDestined are kids and they go to America. Sure, makes sense. But it’s covered by Len. You know, the "Steal My Sunshine" band? Remember them? Well I remember them for the music video at the end of the VHS where the band members go to the premiere of Digimon: The Movie. I vividly remember this thing. The animation that was so bad compared to the movie it followed. The monkey playing congas. The band members sitting in the theatre with Tai and Greymon. Greymon trying to steal popcorn. I don't know who thought this was a good idea, but I hope they're doing well.

Thanks for reading. Now go listen.

#if anyone can get me a high quality version of that music video #i will do unspeakable things for you #digimon #digimon the movie #anime #music #rant

[quinnigallagherjones]

hi! 💙 tell me about your favourite films!

hi nat !! 💙💙

this is so fun because i love filmssss so in no particular order:

knives out (2019) - best movie to ever exist imo !!!!!! there are so many things i love about this movie but the main one is that i never get bored of it, i can't even count how many times i have seen it at this point but every time i do watch it i am just amazed at how good it is !!! the cast, the score, the flow of the movie like it's so PERFECT, i could keep going on about this movie but let's move on so this post isn't really long hahaha

everything everywhere all at once (2022) - i still don't have words for how this movie made me feel, it was such a wild ride like i was crying one moment and then laughing the next and then back to crying, it's an amazing story and also the visuals in this movie are STUNNING !!! would recommend this movie to anyone who hasn't already seen it

emma (2020) - i am a sucker for period drama / romance films and let me tell you THIS IS THE ONE !!!!! jane austen's stories are all so beautiful and this adaptation is truly so so good !! anya taylor joy and johnny flynn have the wildest chemistry i have ever seen and play the tension perfectly !!!!

ready or not (2019) - this isn't shocking to anyone i am sure as i used to be tumblr user gracelcdomas but LISTEN !!! SHE IS THE SUPERIOR FINAL GIRL !!!! i think i am just in love with samara weaving but this movie is so so good and it's another movie that i never get tired of, it's so funny and fucked up and such a wild ride

the grand budapest hotel (2014) - OKAY so i finally watched this movie recently and omg it instantly became a comfort movie for me !! this movie deserves all the hype and praise it gets truly like it's visually stunning but also an amazing storyline with an incredible cast !!! it's also very funny to me that two of my favourite films have will readings that end up in absolute chaos hahahah

spider-man: into the spider-verse (2018) - this movie man !!!!! i am so fucking happy that we finally got a spider-man film THIS FUCKING GOOD !!! when i tell you that this is the best spider-man movie i MEAN THAT SHIT !!!!! miles morales and gwen stacy are my beloveds and also whoever cast jake johnson as peter b. parker i owe you MY LIFE !!!! seriously everyone needs to go watch this movie even if you don't give a fuck about superheroes pls DO IT

chicken run (2000) - i can't talk about some of my favourite films without mentioning chicken run !!!! this is a movie that is very nostalgic to me as my siblings and i used to watch it all the time but listen even as an adult i still ADORE THIS MOVIE !!!!! i feel like this movie is so good on so many levels but the best part about it is rooting for them the whole time and seeing them finally free at the end is just SO DAMN GOOD !!! like listen this film is CINEMA BABY !!!! PLEASE EVERYONE GO WATCH IT !!!!

i really want to keep going on about films but this post is already too long so i am just going to add a few honourable mentions here: wwdits (2014), monsters inc (2001), portrait of a lady on fire (2019), pride and prejudice (2005), get out (2017), puss in boots: the last wish (2022) and tick tick boom (2021) !!

sleepover asks !!

#thank you so so much for the ask !!!!! #i enjoyed this so much :') #nat tag #mutuals tag #answered #ask

[thepapergirlandthespiegelman]

ok not to sound like a little baby who can't deal with being on the Internet or whatever but like. Why is Tumblr allowed to show me just the wildest fucking shit without my consent? Specifically, the "Based on your likes" recommendations have been just completely nonsensical, frequently pretty graphic fetish/kink stuff that I'm not into, and sometimes kinda triggering. Like some days it's annoying but relatively harmless stuff like obscure Harry Potter fanfic-of-a-fanfic, but other days it's really specific fetish content that I find kind of disturbing. I'm not here to kinkshame anyone, I don't have an issue with the existence of these kinks and I'm absolutely NOT blaming the creators of this content—it is very clearly being written for people who have that particular interest/are involved in that kink community and I'm sure they like it just fine, but again that reinforces my question, why is Tumblr showing it to me? Honestly, if I was creating hyper-specific kink content for a particular community, I would be mortified to learn that it was being randomly recommended to people outside the community who might find it offensive or triggering.

I'm not going to name any of the specific fetishes/kinks because again I don't want to cast any negativity toward them. But I genuinely am baffled as to why Tumblr thinks I would like this content. I literally do not follow any sexual, fetish, or kink blogs whatsoever and never create or reblog that kind of content. The most that I've done is, like, mention BDSM as a general concept (nothing specific/graphic) a couple times; absolutely nothing that would lead a normal person to think "Oh yeah, this person is probably extremely into ________ super specific fetish."

Idk, I'm not the most sensitive person and I definitely can deal with seeing stuff that makes me uncomfortable, but I also...don't want to have to do that for no reason??? And it just kinda sucks because Tumblr used to be the one place on the Internet where I felt completely safe because I only ever saw content from blogs I follow (if I go in the search function/tags, I know I might be in for some surprises, and I was fine with that taking on that risk when doing those things), and now that's no longer true.

And I hope that Tumblr's response to this is not to just blanket ban any kind of fetish/kink content, because I don't think that that's particularly fair or a good solution. Honestly my preferred solution would be to just get rid of recommendations altogether, or at least allow users to turn them off. But at a bare minimum, fix your damn algorithm so that it's not showing people stuff that's completely off-base in its recommendations.

Of course, the most likely thing is that they'll do nothing at all (or somehow figure out how to make it function even worse).

#text #Tumblr #content #content recommendation #Based on your likes #trigger

[tonberry-yoda]

real, jjba the wildest shit ever and then they pull out the feels 🥲 it’s basically gintama, but with a more cohesive plotline and a love to murder the main cast at the end. do you think emporio is happy in the other universe?

oh yeah, but that's why i love it tbh. it's so well written as well as goofy, not to mention STUNNING. one of my favs for sure, but atm it's tied with one piece lol

and honestly, I think emporio was super upset at first. these people he knew are different, BUT he has a home now. These people who are familiar become his home, but it must feel so out of body. My poor little guy was very traumatized, but hopefully the new universe took care of him <3

#tonberry answers #asks #jjba #jjba spoilers

[angelspenance]

also should i play danganronpa

Danganronpa falls into the same category as future diary in terms of recommending it to people for me like. Tw for most things that may or may not be poorly executed at best. But it is the wildest shit ever and now a special interest of mine & also the only media to have ever warranted such a visceral reaction from me that I paced to the point of nearly being faint. It sucks. There’s dialogue from it that haunts me on the daily. & if you do decide to consume it I’d suggest watching the dr1 anime instead of a game playthrough unless there’s a character from the cast that really appeals to you, & then start watching/playing sdr2. & the sdr2 cast are my bestest friends in the whole wide world :] I still have to consume ndrv3 but it sure does exist <3

#Danganronpa is Danganronpa. there will be points made but it still is Danganronpa. reccing dr to someone is something done on vc calls that #starts as halfway a joke & then it Isn’t whdjnsndndn #akogaresaita #asks