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jtargaryen18 · 7 months

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His Inheritance ~ Chapter 32

Part 32: The Rising

Series Masterlist

Words: 8k

Pairing: Mobster Steve Rogers x Mobster daughter reader

Warnings: References to mafia, reference to violence and violent acts, references to sexual violence. Strong language. This is a dark fic. Please read responsibly.

Disclaimer: The author of this work claims no ownership of characters aside from the reader, and original secondary characters mentioned. This work is not intended for those under the age of 18 due to explicit sexual content and darker themes. By reading this work or any works on my blog (jtargaryen18), you agree that you are at least 18 years of age. I do not consent to have my work hosted on any third party app or site. If you are seeing this fanfiction anywhere but archiveofourown and tumblr, it has been reposted without my permission.

Summary: For @alexakeyloveloki. Your father is the head of one of the most powerful crime families in Boston but he’s protected you from that life. In your quiet home outside the city, you’ve been cared for and protected. When the desires of a more powerful man with the will to dominate bursts into your life, all your illusions are shattered as he comes to claim what is his.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The first thing Steve was aware of was the softness of her touch. The delicate stroke of her fingertips dancing nervously over his forearm, his hand. Slowly, the scent of her perfume invaded his senses that were just beginning to return. It was a comfort in the sea of perfect darkness all around him.

Knowing his wife was alive, at his side, was everything to him.

Her teardrop on his skin made his heart squeeze in his chest. The low sound of her crying in the quiet of the room. He tried in vain to open his eyes, to move his hand. To speak. None of his commands were answered so he could comfort her.

But he was here now. That was something, right? That he was awake? Aware?

Steve needed to get back to her and his life in the worst way.

“Steve,” you whispered, leaning closer to him. “I’m so tired… “

Steve knew she probably couldn’t sleep under the circumstances. He had no idea how long he’d been out of the loop. Now he was coming back to life, restless. All he really wanted to do was hold her, watch over her while she slept.

And while he held her safe and sound, he’d begin planning his takedown of fucking Barnes.

The press of her lips against his pulled him out of his thoughts. Another hot tear dotted his cheek. Her sadness had him trying in vain to move, to let her know he was there. He was with her.

She was so strong, his beautiful wife. She’d been wounded and without him, she was alone. Afraid. Did Barnes or the other families know what happened? Were they all in any danger from Barnes? Or Hansen?

She carefully climbed onto the bed to lie next to him. It made him happy to have her so close, warm at his side. All he could do was to be there with her.

“Steve, you have to come back to me,” she said with tears in her voice, a fear he’d never heard from her bleeding onto her tone. “So far, most of them haven’t figured it out… That you’re out of commission.”

No one knew? Had Dyson told her that?

Her fingers danced over his chest, his heart. She was careful to keep her weight off him, but he wanted it. He wanted the warm press of her body against his. It felt so good to have her there, so close.

And she wanted him back. She loved him. She told him she loved him before she left for Hansen’s that fateful day.

“He figured it out,” she said, sniffling. “He knew it wasn’t you who did…”

Who figured it out? Figured what out?

Steve’s sluggish heart sped up at that, but she didn’t seem to notice.

“We haven’t heard anything yet,” she whispered. “I don’t think he’s dead. If he were, I feel like we would have heard something by now.”

Who was dead? Dread pushed him to fight harder to get back to the surface.

A soft sob from her had fear battling heartache in his chest. Why did she sound so broken? What had happened? How long had he been out?

“I couldn’t even do it when the time came,” she whispered. “I’m so ashamed, Steve. I was right there, sitting next to him on the bench. He had no idea who I really was. He had no idea why he was really there.”

Who? Steve would have screamed it if he could have. What couldn’t she do? His fears escalated as he waited for her to continue.

“I really hope we killed him, Steve,” she said quietly. “I don’t think we did though. Yelena said the poison would do damage, could shut down his vital organs… But we would have fucking heard something by now, right? If Barnes really died?”

Steve was trapped in his body, in the darkness, with growing fear. She’d confronted Barnes? Tried to kill him with poison? Poison Belova gave her?

Belova was supposed to be cast out of his household.

Anger pushed against fear then. He’d thrown Belova out because she got in his wife’s head, encouraged her rebellious behavior. She was supposed to protect his wife, not lead her into danger.

“You’ve got to wake up,” she begged him. “Please... We struck back at Barnes. To protect this family. To protect your position… But if he wakes up… He suspects all the things we’ve done were me, not you. He called me an evil bitch…” Her laugh was bitter, choked out by tears. “If he’s still alive, he knows the truth. It’s only a matter of time, Steve, until he comes after us. After me. Please, for the love of God, you’ve got to wake up.”

What did they do? As much of a force as his wife was, particularly with Belova backing her, he couldn’t imagine that whatever danger they’d gotten was done without Dyson knowing about it.

As he understood it, they’d done something to Bucky. Poisoned him. They didn’t know the other man’s status. Was he dead? Alive? If he was still alive, it sounded like he’d be coming for them.

Coming for his wife.

“I knew I’d find you here.” Belova. The sound of a door closing.

His wife didn’t move. If nothing, she snuggled closer to him.

“Have you heard anything?” his wife asked.

“No, there’s no word,” Belova said. “And no news is good news.”

“I can’t take this anymore,” his wife said, her voice breaking. “Steve’s still out and every minute of every day I have to worry… We’re so vulnerable right now.”

“So is Barnes,” Belova told her.

“The other families have to be wondering what the hell is going on,” his wife said.

“There are questions,” Belova said. “There are rumors and stories. Very little of it is anywhere close to the truth.”

“Something’s got to give,” his wife said. “Barnes is either out of it like Steve or he’s biding his time. Waiting for the right moment to finish this.”

“You can’t dwell on this,” Belova’s voice was closer now. “Steve will come back to you.”

“Yes.” She sounded so small, unsure.

“And when he’s back, he’ll take it from there.”

“What do you mean?” his wife asked.

“We hit Barnes on a very personal level,” Belova explained. “That’s the way it’s done. Barnes may be just fine right now and carefully planning his next move. And he needs to think long and hard on whatever action he takes. The Starks are partial to the Rogers family. So are the Wilsons.”

“How many times is Dyson going to be able to hold them off when they call,” his wife wanted to know. “We don’t have much time left. If Steve would just wake up… He’s going to kill me.”

Steve wasn’t going to let it go. That was for damn sure.

Belova laughed softly as his wife fought back tears. “He may be proud of you. I am.”

Sniffling, his wife said, “If he’ll just wake up, I don’t care. He can keep me locked away for a year, whatever. I just need him to be okay. To come back to me.”

Steve couldn’t have heard that right. He was out of it. His wife could make any decision his men would allow. And for her, his men would allow quite a lot. And she was worried about him.

“He will,” Belova told her. “He loves you… But be ready. He’s going to be pissed when he finds out what’s been going on while he was out. Kicking me out again will probably be the first order he gives.”

She wasn’t wrong.

“No,” his wife said. “I won’t allow it. You are my personal protection. He agreed to that. And I can’t think of a time when I’ve needed protection more, right?”

A sigh. “Your husband may not see it that way.”

“I don’t care,” she said petulantly. “He can wake up and bitch at me about it. I’d love that. But you’re not going anywhere, Yelena. I need you.”

Steve again tried in vain to open his eyes, to speak. To move anything. Surely it was only a matter of time before he could, right? Now that he was aware, it wouldn’t be long. He had no idea how long he’d been like this, but it was past time he got back to his life. To his wife.

***

The next time Steve woke up, he was alone. He couldn’t hear anyone else in the room. Steve wished his wife was still there. He missed the warmth of her, the smell of her.

The chiming of his phone on his nightstand played again and he realized it woke him up. On the third chime, Steve reached for the phone and then his eyes flew open when he realized what he’d done. That he’d moved.

His eyes flew open. Tapping the screen, he answered the call, bringing his shaking hand with the device closer to his body so he didn’t drop it. Steve felt so weak.

“Yeah,” he muttered for an answer. His voice sounding as rough as a bad country road.

“There he is,” Tony Stark said with a smile in his voice. “I told Dyson if I didn’t talk to you today, I was coming over there. I asked him if you were too important to talk to me now.”

Steve snorted and it was an uglier sound than he expected from who knew how many days of disuse. “Too busy,” he managed.

“I guess, damn.” Tony laughed. “I have to admit, Barnes came in hot once the crown was on your head. I was getting worried about how you’d handle it all. How you’d handle Barnes.” Tony laughed again. “That was brutal.”

Oh, God. I don’t even know what they did…

“I know you were being… magnanimous before,” Tony went on. “I get that. But when you decide to deal with things, well…”

“Barnes had it coming,” Steve said, his voice a little stronger with each word. No matter what they’d been up to since he’d been out, Barnes deserved it. He had no doubt about that. “He left me no choice.”

“Hey, I’m not questioning you, big guy,” Tony told him. “Really, I’m not. Just curious when we were all going to collectively talk about how this is going to go. What’s going to happen to Barnes, stuff like that.”

Steve’s hand shook so badly, he passed the phone to his left hand. “Soon,” Steve told him. “We had some injuries.”

“Yeah,” Tony said, “about that. How are you? There are rumors flying around that you got shot or Dyson got shot. A couple even said your wife had been hit.”

His wife had been shot. And he’d been more terrified for her than himself in those moments after the shot fired. Steve had been fucking terrified, so terrified he hadn’t felt the bullet strike him at the time. But he was grateful. She hadn’t mentioned a thing about her injury or any effects from it. That was good. Maybe it meant she was on her way to fully healed.

“My wife was hit,” Steve said, fighting to speak as he normally did. “My top lieutenant was threatened. I can’t have that.”

“Absolutely,” Tony said, still sounding supportive. A tone designed to let Steve know where the Stark family stood in everything. Tony Stark had always been proactive. It was appreciated. “You needed to give the bastard something to think about.”

“I did,” Steve told him. “Do. I’ll be in touch very soon to call a meeting.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Tony told him. “Is there anything I can do to help?”

Steve blew out an exhale, feeling tired from just the conversation. But damn it, he was awake now, and he needed to get back up to speed as quickly as possible. They were all likely still in some danger from Barnes, his family.

“I’ll let you know if I think of something,” Steve told him.

Ending the call, he dropped the phone onto the bed. The edges of his vision threatened him, fading to black. He broke out in a cold sweat, very much afraid if he blacked out now, he might get stuck again or worse.

Steve just had to face it. He needed to recover physically and there was nothing he could do to rush that.

And he needed to catch up. He needed to know what was done when. He’d have to accept responsibility for those actions to protect his family, his wife.

It was slow going and took a lot of effort but after several minutes, he was able to sit up, swing his legs over the side of the bed. His vision was dark around the edges, his breath came fast, and he broke out in a cold sweat from his efforts, but damn it, he did it.

***

You spun and moved through the Waltz of the Flowers, focusing on remembering the port de bras, the steps. You saw the ballet in New York during one of your secret trips and came home begging your instructor to help you learn anything from it. In that last year you lived in the home where you grew up, you’d worked hard to learn the small role from one of your favorite ballets. Oh, it wasn’t the Dewdrop Fairy, the leader fairy of the dance that no one seemed to even know existed. You were learning the dance of the supporting flowers from the classic story and that was good enough for you. That was plenty for you at the time.

Today, with everything preying on your mind, you’d gone back and watched the dance on YouTube first to remember all the steps. Anything to keep busy, to occupy your mind.

Was Steve coming back to you? You didn’t care if he really did beat your ass if he did. You’d take it. You just needed him back.

There you were in the studio Dyson helped you set up. There was still pain in your shoulder, but it was better each day. You had on your black leotard and tights. A fresh bandage covered your wound. It was chilly so you pulled an old sweatshirt for warmth before fitting into your pointe shoes.

You started the music with your phone and fell into those simple steps. The slower graceful dance of the flowers. And after the first minute or so, it all came back to you. The gentle spins, releve, plie. You didn’t imagine the dewdrop fairy you were supposed to be dancing around at first, not the other dancers. This dance was for you. A solo flower from a magical Christmas land far away.

A lone black flower from a funeral arrangement?

No. Shaking your head, you fought back tears and started the dance.

It was really the only thing that gave you any peace the last few days. Lost to the dance, the music took your mind off looking out the windows every few seconds to see if Barnes had shown up to kill you all yet. To kill you. Because you knew by now, he must really want to.

It also kept you from sitting by Steve’s bedside and crying for hours.

As much as you could remember, you moved through the steps of the dance. It wasn’t that good at first. But as you visualized it, worked through the dance in your mind, your dance got better, your movements more graceful as you moved. As you swept back to make room for the Dewdrop Fairy in your mind to come dancing back, you saw something in the corner of your eye. But as you came to a stop with the next step, you froze.

It was Steve, awake, looking washed out and weak as he leaned against the wall, watching you. He’d wrapped his bathrobe around himself, his feet were bare. The intensity of that blue-eyed expression took your breath away. He smiled as relief took you to your knees. All you could do was stare to see your husband was awake, finally. And you knew he was going to be pissed at you. So pissed. But you scrambled to your feet and sprinted for him, skidding to a stop when you realized you needed to be careful with him because of the wound, the stitches.

Wrapping your arms around his neck carefully, you couldn’t help but kiss him with tears spilling from the corners of your eyes.

Steve kissed you back with a ferocity that surprised you as weak as he must have been. You let him. You were just so happy he was awake. Alive. Sure, all hell could break loose any minute now within the prominent Boston crime families but Steve coming back to you was the most important thing. The only thing. Everything else, with his lips sliding against yours, seemed less important in that private moment.

Steve shook in your grasp as he kissed you. Concern had you breaking that. As much as you’d like to think it was from that passionate moment, you didn’t want him to pass out on you. Not when you just got him back.

He let you steer him towards one of the folding chairs you kept in the studio, mostly to set your items on. You swept it all out in the floor as you urged him to sit and carefully, he did. But his gaze never left you. The man was staring at you with something like… awe?

“You’re okay?” he asked carefully.

You nodded, pulling the loose neckline of the sweatshirt you wore to show him the bandage. “It doesn’t hurt much now. I’m just fine Steve. Thanks to you.”

“You’ll have a scar,” he warned.

“I don’t care,” you told him, swiping at the tears with your hands. “Steve, you took a bullet for me. Why did you do that? Why were you even there?”

His eyes were suspiciously glossy as he stared at you. “I decided about five minutes after you left that I couldn’t risk losing you. I needed to be there. To protect you. It’s even scarier to think if I hadn’t been there, I would have lost you.”

A chill ran up your spine to consider he was right.

“I think you’re really glad to see me,” he said, his voice rougher than usual. The half smile that formed on his lips had your heart racing in your chest.

“Of course I am,” you told him, not even trying to stop your tears. Your mind spun with what you needed to do. “How are you feeling? I should go get Dyson and have him call doc. Yeah, I—”

“In a minute,” he told you. His hand carefully capturing yours, stopping you before you could flee to do just that. “You told me you loved me before you left that day. Was that real? Or was that in case you didn’t see me again?”

Steve had to be able to hear your heart. It felt like it would pound out of your chest. “It was real.”

He kept looking at you like you were a ghost, an image in his mind. “I’ve never… I’ve never seen you dance before. You look beautiful.”

“You’re always busy,” you said with a smile, melting under that comment.

“Will you dance for me one day?” The softness of his voice when he asked that question had your heart squeezing in your chest. The sincerity threatened to break you.

All you could do was nod.

Tugging your hand, he urged you closer. His hands at your hips guided you to sit on his lap and you were careful.

“We need to talk,” Steve said. “Just you and me for a moment.”

Oh, shit. Here we go.

You shook your head. “What’s more important than your health?”

“I need to know what’s happening,” Steve said slowly. That look he gave you. How long had he been up? Had he already talked to Dyson?

“Not a lot.” A huge lie. “We’ve all just been watching over you. Hoping you’d come back to us.”

“What’s happening?” he asked again. “What happened while I was out?”

You swallowed hard. Somehow Steve knew.

More tears. “Steve, what am I supposed to do? You just woke up and—”

“And?”

“When I tell you what happened, you’re not going to be happy.”

Steve huffed a laugh. “I’m sure.”

Wrapping your arms around his neck, you quietly started talking. You started with the aftermath of the shootout at Hansen’s house after the two of you had been shot. You told him Hansen was presumed dead but there was no proof.

Steve shook his head, telling you, “Hansen’s not dead.”

You told him Dyson had been roughed up but not badly harmed. Several of Barnes’ men had died. Clint had killed Banner and Hansen shot Neal in the face. You told him about the young woman who’d been taken from the donut shop on Steve’s turf and how she’d been found in Hansen’s house, kept as a sex slave. Steve had looked disgusted at that.

“What’s happened since that day?” Steve asked after a moment.

“Have you already talked to Dyson?” you asked nervously.

“No, but I heard you and Belova talk,” he admitted.

Shock would have had you jumping off his lap if he hadn’t kept you there. “What? You heard us?”

“I did,” Steve told you. “Not enough to know what’s going on. Enough to know you put yourself in danger with Barnes. Want to tell me about that?”

No.

“Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!” Dyson exclaimed out of nowhere. “What are you doing out of bed?”

“I needed to get up,” Steve told him with a smile.

Dyson was as careful as you had been in hugging him. The happiness in the older man’s eyes was unmistakable as his gaze moved over him, assessing him.

“We need to get doc here to look at you,” Dyson told them.

“I need to talk to my wife first,” Steve countered, his grip on your firm.

“Yes, you do,” Dyson told him. “But after doc has looked at you. Then we’ll all talk because I think that would be best. There’s a lot you need to know.”

Words couldn’t express how much you loved Dyson at that moment.

Taking your hand and helping you stand, Dyson smiled. “Go call doc,” he bid you.

Nodding, relieved to get the doctor here and to have help in telling Steve that story, you pressed a kiss to your husband’s cheek and scrambled off to do that.

***

Steve watched you flee like you’d escaped the gallows. He let the tears come then. Pure relief ran through his veins. His wife was alive and recovering, crying over him.

Maybe she really does love me.

He hadn’t gotten to watch you dance long before you spotted him, and he regretted that. He could have watched that all day. He recognized the music from The Nutcracker Suite, but he couldn’t say which scene it was from.

But there his wife had been, all in black aside from the light pink shoes she wore. You might have been a shadow dancing, but your movements didn’t echo loneliness or sadness. Your movements were graceful but confident. It had been a stark reminder of so many years you’d been alone. It occurred to him now what you must have done with all that time your father left you in the care of servants.

You had a lot of time to listen and learn.

“Let’s get you back to bed,” Dyson told him, helping him up out of the chair.

To Steve’s dismay, he was weak as a kitten. He allowed Dyson to help him to his feet and walked with him towards his room. He had no intention of getting back in bed, however.

“No, I’m getting dressed,” Steve told him. “I want to have that talk and hear what had happened while I was… out. Soon as possible.”

Everything.

Once he was seated on the side of his bed, watching Dyson gathering a casual outfit for him, his mind took over.

“Why was she anywhere near Bucky Barnes?” Steve wanted to know.

Dyson paused for a beat but went about his tasks, not making eye contact.

“I didn’t like that part either, boss,” Dyson said. “But when we lay it out for you, maybe it will make more sense.”

“You were in on these plans?” Steve asked.

Dyson approached him now with his clothes, his gaze unwavering. “I was.”

“Where does our family stand right now?”

Dyson placed the clothes on the bed and regarded him calmly. “Your family is the head family, and you are its leader. None of that changed while you were out.”

Steve could only imagine what had to happen for Dyson to say that so confidently. “Why was my wife involved?”

Dyson still didn’t react. “Because like it or not, your wife is part of this family, son.”

Dyson hadn’t son’d him in many years.

“What did I say—”

“No, you’ll listen to me now,” Dyson cut him off. “After the situation Hansen put us in, we didn’t have a choice but to react as the lead family and you weren’t available to make decisions, so the task fell to us. Turns out the plan was Barnes’s. Taking me, taking your wife, all of it. Hansen just decided that he was going to take Mrs. Rogers for himself hence the betrayal.”

“I know,” Steve said. He remembered all that.

“And there were all these stories out on the street, see? Some of them were very close to the truth,” Dyson explained. “If you hadn’t fallen into a coma from blood loss, you’d have been calling those shots. Since you were unavailable…”

“You did it?” Steve accused. “And you involved my wife?”

Color darkened Dyson’s face in a rare display of frustration. “No, your wife stepped up. And you need to start paying attention because your marriage, your wife, has been the problem here ever since you took power.”

“You’re blaming my wife?” Steve couldn’t have heard that right.

“No, I’m blaming you.” Dyson was direct. “You married her, you took the crown. You should have flourished. You had everything you needed to rule. Everything you wanted. Her, her father’s backing, your family’s strength. Why do you think it didn’t work out, huh?”

“I wasn’t counting on Barnes to have such a problem with all of this. I knew—”

“No,” Dyson cut him off again. “Forget Barnes. This is all on you.”

“How do you figure?” Steve realized Dyson was pissed at him.

“If you hadn’t been so obsessed with your wife, you would have handled things,” Dyson explained. “You navigated her into this marriage – with her father’s blessing – and that should have been that. You get married to the old boss’s daughter to solidify your claim. She’s a beautiful young woman who will keep you on your toes. But no, that wasn’t good enough…”

“What the fuck are you getting at?” Steve asked. Was it brain fog keeping him from seeing what his mentor was getting at?

“Just what I said,” Dyson told him. “Your obsession with your wife is the fucking problem. It’s your blind spot and it always has been. If you hadn’t been so busy trying to control her, to mold her into what you thought she should be, you wouldn’t have been at odds with each other all these weeks.”

Maybe he had a point.

“If you hadn’t been at odds with your wife and fixated on that, you wouldn’t have come so close to losing that leadership position you wanted so badly. You wouldn’t have come so close to losing it all.”

Dyson got closer. Got in his face.

“You were also too blind or too stupid to realize that your wife has the instincts she does,” Dyson went on, meaning business. “She’s sharp. She reads people well. She’s a lot like her old man.”

Steve nodded. “I’m coming to realize that.”

“Good,” Dyson said. “Because we’re all going to talk about what happened while you were out. And she will be there. She earned her place at the table and you’re going to hear what she has to say.”

Steve nodded his acquiescence. Dyson wasn’t there when Steve brought his wife in to craft the plan to deal with Hansen. He’d been Hansen’s hostage.

No, Steve was very interested in what happened and what part she played in it. But as a husband, he was also slightly terrified of what he might hear. As a man in his position, he needed to figure out how to keep his wife and family out of harm’s way, to protect them.

Steve didn’t have the physical strength, at the moment, to fight any of them.

“Let’s get you in the shower,” Dyson told him, helping him off the bed.

***

“Maybe I should sit this one out,” Yelena muttered as she walked with you to Steve’s study. “I can’t imagine he’s going to be happy I’m still here.”

You stopped, looking her in the eye. “No, you need to be here for this meeting. You’ve been at my side since I married into this situation and I’m not allowing him to send you away again.”

Slowly, she smiled. A flash of hope lit up her hazel eyes. “You’re ready for this, aren’t you?”

You nodded. Indeed, you were. While your husband had been comatose, you did what you thought was best for the family, guided by Steve’s own council. It was still a dangerous time and as far as you were concerned, all of you needed to be involved until Barnes was dealt with and Steve’s position was solidified once and for all.

“I need to know you have my back,” you told her.

“Always,” she said, meaning it.

“Then let’s get in here,” you told her. The two of you were the last to arrive.

You’d cleaned up, dressed in a simple black dress and cardigan set with silver piping. Maybe it was silly, but you’d always worn it when you were heading into the unknown. Your secret trips to New York City with your governess or those rare meetings with your father before you took care of him in his final days. With the stockings and glossy black heels, it felt like armor.

And as you met your husband’s gaze from where he sat behind his desk, you realized you needed armor. His gaze swept over you appreciatively as you sat in the chair directly in front of him and next to Dyson. He looked you over too. He smirked in what you thought was approval.

“I saved you a seat,” Scott smiled at Yelena, motioning to the chair next to him to your left.

Clint and Luca sat with them behind you. The room was unusually quiet. Steve nodded to Clint who got up to close the door to the office.

Steve’s gaze moved over everyone in the room, he took his time. He wore a crimson sweater with jeans. He looks so tired. Finally, his gaze stayed on Dyson.

“My wife told me most of what happened after we were shot,” Steve started. “I need to know what happened after that.”

Dyson looked to you, and you nodded. It was probably better that he start. Steve cocked a brow at the silent communication.

“It was pretty much Tuesday at the Okay fucking Corral,” Dyson told him. “It was all me and Yelena could do to get the two of you out. But Hansen didn’t wait for that. It was a hell of a shootout. Barnes lost several men, we lost some too. Not as many.”

“Your friends make it out?” Steve asked.

Dyson nodded. “And we were damn lucky they happened to be in town.”

You were indeed. You were especially grateful to Jensen.

“You got the two of us out,” Steve said. “Then?”

“Hansen and Clay faced off,” Dyson explained. “Hansen was hurt but he made it out. He ain’t dead. Barnes gets a hold of him, he might wish he were.”

You couldn’t imagine Hansen being afraid of anyone.

“We got everyone back,” Dyson went on. “Got doc over here… You lost a lot of blood and went to sleep on us. We had a lot to think about, boss. You have to realize that Barnes’ plan that night was meant to knock you off the throne. They set a trap for you. Neal and I were supposed to go confront Hansen and take him out. That was our plan. But Neal was working for Barnes.”

Dyson cut his gaze to you. “You never liked, Neal. You weren’t wrong.”

No, you weren’t. The bastard had been nothing but disrespectful to you and Yelena. He’d put you at odds with your own husband by telling him about the nurse’s visit. How happy he must have been when Steve locked you away as a punishment. Thinking about it now, maybe Neal did it on purpose. The fact that you were stuck there might have made it easier for Hansen or Barnes to get to you.

“Barnes plan was to use me to lure you out, boss,” Dyson said. “The plan was to take you off the board for good. Barnes was confident, all things considered, that Hansen could get it done with Neal’s help.”

You shivered thinking about it. Steve trusted Neal. He’d go to protect Dyson. It might have worked.

“Instead, Hansen decided to lure Mrs. Rogers out and he meant to take off with her,” Dyson explained.

“Where is Neal?” A muscle twitched at Steve’s jaw.

“He’s dead,” you said quietly. “Hansen shot him in the face.”

Steve met your gaze, shaking his head.

“And since then?” Steve asked. “What’s happened?”

Dyson glanced at you, at the others. “We had a situation. Barnes hit us hard, and you were in a coma. If anyone realized you were out of commission, we would be dead in the water. A response was expected. And a response was delivered.”

Steve nodded. “I guess you did. Tony called me and he sounded impressed… So, what happened?”

“We sent Barnes presents,” Dyson told him. “Paulina was the warning shot.”

“Paulina?” Steve asked.

That had your heart lurching and old jealousy rearing its ugly head. Paulina was Kat’s sister. Was Steve afraid Kat had been hurt?

“Yeah,” Dyson said. “She’s still around. We just put her in the hospital.”

Steve looked confused but didn’t say anything.

“Kat appreciated Barnes taking care of the bill,” Dyson said. “She brought him a thank you gift. We sent him a gift too in the same bag. He got a five-finger discount.”

That blue-eyed gaze cut to you and back.

“Neal was his eyes and ears in this house for too long,” Dyson went on. “We took those and made a special treat for him. A tiramisu from his favorite restaurant.”

Your stomach clenched just thinking about that. You couldn’t imagine finding human ears and eyes in your dessert.

“And the grand finale was all heart,” Dyson told Steve, turning to grin at Clint on that one.

Steve blew out an exhale and you just waited for the tirade to begin. You could tell his mind was going a mile a minute and you felt bad for him because his color was off, and he looked so tired.

“Belova was there at Hansen’s when I arrived,” Steve began. “I do remember telling her she’s out.” Scrubbing a hand over his beard, he shook his head. “And you all just let my wife be party to all this? Killing people? Eyes, ears, hearts? I don’t even understand why Paulina was involved in this.”

Had your beautiful bastard of a husband learned nothing from all this?

Dyson shot you a warning look, watching you shift in your seat. “We collectively—”

“Yelena,” you started, “is the only reason we’re all still here.”

A quick glance at her showed her staring at you in surprise.

“When you sent her away,” you went on, “which you had no right to do because if I remember correctly, her being my personal protection was your wedding present to me, Dyson knew the danger she’d be in on the street. His friends were in town, thank God they were, and she stayed with them while they were here. She’s the one who got us the intel on Banner. She called Clint and told him where to find him, hiding on Stark’s turf. I explained all of this to you that day. He didn’t say anything about killing Banner at the time because of Nat and how she’d take it. No one gave him the order to kill Banner, but he did. I’d like to think you’d do that if someone beat my ass the way he beat your sister.”

Steve looked alarmed. He was about to say something, but you beat him to the punch.

“If that chain of events hadn’t happened, that day would have been far worse, Steve,” you went on. “If Dyson’s friends hadn’t been here, the day would have been worse. We can’t ever let this family’s safety depend solely on luck ever again. That was too close.”

Shifting on your chair so you could look around the room at your family and dearest friends, you shook your head.

“Paulina?” you asked. “Yeah, maybe that was stooping to their level. Banner beat Nat more than once and all the while he was spying on us. Betraying you. Beating Paulina was Nat’s call. A sound beating with bruises that wouldn’t show. It’s a good first step in taking back her power.”

Clint met your gaze, nodded his approval.

“Who did it?” Steve asked.

“Oh, I knew you’d ask that,” you told him. “Does it make you feel better that it was Yelena who did the deed?”

You could just tell from the subtle shift in his expression that it did.

“We found the girl who worked in the donut shop locked in a room in Hansen’s house. He was keeping her there because she looks like me. You can’t imagine what that poor thing has been through.”

Now Steve really did look startled.

“And the rest?” You said to your husband. “Dyson didn’t want me to be a party to it either, no. And I didn’t order any hits if that’s what you’re worried about. The fingers in Kat’s shopping bag? They belonged to Hansen’s man who kidnapped that girl. He died in the shooting at Hansen’s house. He didn’t need those fingers anymore.”

Steve just stared at you now.

“The eyes and ears?” you went on. “Neal was already dead. Hansen killed him.”

“Who’s idea was that?” Steve managed to ask. “The tiramisu?”

Luca’s hand shot up. “Mine. I made it.”

That had you grinning.

“The heart was Banner’s,” you explained. “He was already dead too.”

The slightest flush of color darkened Steve’s face. “And what about Barnes? You want to tell me why you were anywhere near him? What were you and Belova doing there?”

There was no going back now.

“The house is being watched,” you explained. “Stark and Wilson called every single day. We were worried that someone was going to figure out what was going on here, that you were potentially done for.”

Dyson’s gaze on you was intense, the hurt still flashing in his eyes from that plan because he’d disagreed with it so vehemently.

“We tried to take Barnes out,” you explained watching disbelief bleed into his expression. “After everything he’s done to all of us, he deserves it, Steve.”

You were speaking forcefully while your husband listened with an expression that you were struggling to read.

“Barnes gave us the idea himself,” you went on. “He called the girl from the donut shop. He wanted to meet with her, to see if she knew anything that would help him find Hansen. We arranged the meeting. I went in her place. I wore a mask because some people still wear them from the pandemic, and he didn’t realize I wasn’t her. Not until the end…”

Steve leaned forward in his chair, angry now. “What the fuck did you do?”

“We poisoned him,” you shot back. “The blade was dipped in poison. If I hadn’t chickened out, Yelena wouldn’t have had to step in. The way it went apparently didn’t kill him, but it did some damage. It bought us some time. And now you’re awake.”

“Barnes will know something is up,” Steve countered. “He knows I’d never send you into a dangerous situation like that.”

“He does know. But he can’t prove it,” you said.

“He’s going to come for you,” Steve said, his ire fading.

“I know,” you said. You’d lived in fear of that each day that Steve was still asleep.

“He can’t tell anyone.” Steve huffed a dry laugh. “A mob boss stabbed by a woman?”

Yelena was trying not to grin at that. You couldn’t help but smile.

“I don’t want you to ever put yourself in a position like that ever again,” Steve said to you with uncharacteristic calm. “I want everyone else in this room to swear to me that you’ll never allow that to happen again. Break your word and you’ll pay for it.”

The other men in the room quickly murmured their agreement. Yelena remained silent, staring at her hands in her lap.

“Belova,” Steve said, drawing her attention. “You’re my wife’s chosen security. So that goes double for you. Where her security is concerned, my word is final. Not hers. You got it?”

Yelena cut her gaze to you before nodding and meeting his gaze. “Yes, boss.”

While you were happy Yelena was being allowed to stay, your concern rose. “Steve, you can’t just keep me locked away to keep me safe. Not now.”

Steve stared at you for a long moment and your heart raced while you waited. You could have heard a pin drop in the posh office.

“I won’t,” Steve told all of you. “You’ll be part of my council from this point on. You all worked together to make decisions to protect the family when I couldn’t. Do you all agree?”

The response to that question was much louder and positive. Dyson looked from Steve to you with so much pride.

“It’s done,” Steve said.

Steve had made you part of his council. Your mind was spinning.

“Thank you all,” Steve said, concluding the meeting. “Rest up today. Tomorrow, we start planning. Dyson, keep security elevated around the house for now.”

Dyson winked at you. “Yes, boss.”

Then Steve’s gaze met yours as you were about to stand. “Stay.”

You did. And it was so quiet when it was just the two of you left in his office.

“Like I told you earlier, I agreed to letting you go to Hansen’s that day, but I regretted it almost immediately. That’s why I came after you and all of it was a mistake. By now I’d like to think you realize that as head of the family, head of all the families, why I have to be careful where I go. I’m not a soldier anymore. Sometimes I forget that.”

When he put it that way, yes, you did understand. “But it was Dyson.”

“I know,” he said softly. “But if I’d had my head on straight, they wouldn’t have been able to get to him. That’s on me.”

Had everything that happened rattled Steve that much? Was this accountability?

“And I get why you felt like you should be able to go meet Barnes after that. I’d allowed you into my business, sent you to Hansen’s. That’s on me too.”

What?

“Steve, we’re married. Doesn’t that make it our business?” you asked carefully.

“Maybe so… It’s just… I’ll never be able to get the memory of you jumping in front of Dyson out of my head,” Steve said, eyes shiny with tears. “I’m willing to try this, to make you part of my council. I’m not completely sold on the idea but Dyson and the rest of them respect you enough to follow your orders.”

“You doubted it before because I’m a woman?”

“No, I doubted it because I’m selfish,” Steve said. “And afraid. Dyson’s right, you have good instincts. You knew more about what was going on in my house in a few weeks than I ever have... My father was like that, gave me good advice.”

Tears stung the backs of your eyes as you listened to your husband.

“Your father was a mentor to me too the last year of his life,” Steve went on. “He knew more than my old man. Dyson and Luca seem to think you’re a lot like him. Maybe they’re right.”

“Steve—”

“Let me get this out,” Steve told you. “I’m used to having enemies. I’m not used to having enemies that want my wife as much or more than ending my sorry ass. Twice now you’ve been seriously threatened. How am I going to lead the families when I can’t protect my own fucking wife?”

He was blinking back tears and you dashed around it to get to him, to wrap your arms around him. He again pulled you into his lap, holding onto you like you were a rant in the storm. When he finally got himself under control, that blue-eyed gaze was back on you.

“If you want in on this business, I agree,” Steve told you. “Under the condition that you stay out of the action. Is that in any way unclear?”

At least he wasn’t asking you to swear to him. Because that wasn’t something you would swear never to do again. If someone you loved was in danger, of course you’d be in the action. Still, you nodded.

But then you thought of something. “You’re not going to agree to this and take it away from me the moment I get pregnant, are you?”

That pulled the corners of his mouth up. “I will want to. But I doubt I’d have any luck in trying that.”

“You wouldn’t,” you assured him.

“I’ve been thinking about that too,” Steve said, his arms tightening around you. “We probably shouldn’t be in a hurry to start a family… With all this going on? We’ve got time. If and when we both agree we want to start a family, we’ll revisit it then.”

You’d been braced for a fight. You couldn’t have been more astonished by what you were hearing.

“Are you feeling okay?” you finally had to ask.

That had Steve chuckling. “Yes, I’m fine. Just hoping I recover quickly because those heels make your legs look so fucking sexy.”

Okay, that was something he’d say.

His fingers tracing your leg from ankle to thigh made you shiver. Slowly, his touch skimmed up your body, over one breast and up to your jaw. Slowly, he leaned in to kiss your mouth. A slow seeking kiss that promised so much.

“You will make me a better leader,” he whispered against your lips.

“You already are a good leader, Steve,” you told him. “Maybe it was because all we did was fight all the time. Maybe it’s just that your attention was divided.”

You could have laughed at the sliver of hope creeping into his expression. “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” you told him before kissing him breathless.

@valsworldofcreativity @21stcenturywitchcraft @coconutqueen21 @bval-1 @caffiend-queen @sadlittlecountess @candy-and-writing @capsicle-shield @chaoticfiretaconerd @chrisevansgirl @chris-evans-indian-fanfic @coldmuffinbanditshoe @daughterofthenight117 @hv-chw3 @iheartsebstan @imanuglywombat @just-one-ordinary-fangirl @justrae9903 @lokislastlove @mariaenchanted @maxwelllee2020 @nekoannie-chan @nerdwholikesword @notyourtypicalrose @optimistic-dinosaur-nacho @peaceinourtime82 @rainbowkisses31 @rayofdawnworld @richonne4life @rissysthoughts-blog @saiyanprincessswanie @scarletsoldier21-blog @shygirl-00 @supernaturaldean67 @sweater-daddiesdumbdork @team-iron-wannabe-man @titty-teetee @tonib666 @villanellev @vitamingummies @what-is-your-plan-today @what-is-your-wish @xoxabs88xox @rosalynshields @naturalthrone22 @marvelovernfan @gotnofucks @eralen @kawairinrin @bluemusickid @geminievans1 @daughterofthenight117 @sunmoonandbuckyrecs @jesevans @kandis-mom @salvatoreitmeanssaviour @kmc1989 @curiousandjoyous @marvelouslyme96

#His Inheritance #Mafia AU #Mob boss!Steve Rogers #Steve Rogers x Reader #Steve Rogers x you #Bucky Barnes #Yelena Belova #Clint Barton

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feralrabidcrow · 5 months

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How Old I Think The Mercs Are

This is more so just for my own reference, also some bonus characters. These are their ages in 1968.

Scout: 22

"The Naked and the Dead" takes place in 1972. In this issue, Spy reveals that Scout was conceived 27 years ago, making him 26/27. I know a lot of people take this at face value to mean Scout is exactly 27 but it does take 9 months to make a baby. Subtract 4 years, we get 22 in 1968.

Soldier: 47

This would make him about 18 around the start of World War 2, which I feel works well considering what the man is all about. I also imagine he claims to be born on the 4th of July, but it's more than a bit doubtful if he's telling the truth.

Pyro: 32

I don't have any evidence or argument for this one, it's just based on vibes

Demoman: 38

Once again, no real evidence or arguments for this one, based purely on vibes

Heavy: 45 Zhanna: 39 Bronislava: 35 Yana: 31

This is where I get a bit insane. Heavy and his family were sent to the gulag in 1941. Using the photo from "A Cold Day in Hell", I estimate Heavy in this photo to be maybe 18, Zhanna 12, Bronislava 8, and Yana 4. I also don't know how children look like at different ages at all so maybe I'm way off but those are my estimates.

Engineer: 42

It does take a long time to get a PhD, even more time to get 11, but knowing Engineer he could probably grind through them in no time. It's also stated that he spent 10 years in the Texas oilfields, so between that and the PhDs he isn't exactly young anymore, but not super old either.

Medic: 46/47

I know a lot of people headcanon Medic to be in his 50s or later, but this number is based purely on the very elaborate backstory I have for him. Besides, by the time we get to 1972, the time of "The Naked and the Dead", he would be 50.

Sniper: 26

New Zealand sunk 40 years ago in the times of the comics, and 10 years later Sniper's father tries to escape in a rocket, only for baby Sniper to get in the rocket instead and crash land in Australia. This makes Sniper 30 in the comics, and thus, 26 in 1968.

Spy: 48

Spy states he was young and foolish when he dropped a sex bomb on Scout's mother, so I think he was about 25 when Scout was conceived. Leaving him at 48 in 1968.

Miss Pauling: 24

I imagine she's only a bit older than Scout, but she has worked for the Administrator a long time, since she was rather young.

#team fortress #tf2 #team fortress 2 #tf2 headcanons #tf2 theory #scout tf2 #soldier tf2 #pyro tf2 #demoman tf2 #heavy tf2 #engineer tf2 #medic tf2 #sniper tf2 #spy tf2 #zhanna tf2 #miss pauling tf2 #referenceforcrow

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carrymelikeimcute · 6 months

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If we take the actor's actual ages as canonical there's a 9 year gap between Izzy (57) and Ed (48). Mateo Gallegos, who plays 'young ed' is 17, but was 16 in 2022 when s1 came out.

Which means if Ed went to sea immediately after killing his Dad, and met Izzy right away, that Ed and Izzy met when Ed was 16 and Izzy was 25.

Which would mean Izzy has known Ed for more than half of his life. And Ed has known Izzy his entire adult life.

Imagine you spend 32 YEARS with someone, probably protecting them to start with, then being equals, looking up to them. You watch them turn from a boy into a man into a pirate into a captain - your captain - you kill for him and nearly die with him and you spend every. single. day. together for decades - and then one day he turns to you and says he don't want the life you share anymore. He's bored. He's done. He'd actually rather be DEAD than carry on as you are??

And then bang. He hears about some guy and pursues him and less than like a week later they're living together and you're barely able to get five minutes to talk to him. He doesn't even look at you or listen to you properly. You're losing your boss, your only friend, your family, your home, the person you love and the axis of your existence - all at once. And you never told them what they were to you, so you're to blame but now it's too late. Much too late.

Fuck me, I'd be shattered. Furious.

To add perspective, Stede ran out on his wife and kids. The actress who plays his daughter was 13 in 2022. Meaning, if he and Mary conceived her fairly soon after the wedding (which, as per convention/obligation, they probably did) he's been married to Mary for LESS THAN HALF the time Ed and Izzy have been together.

Stede left a 14-ish year marriage and she only got a letter, but christ she had friends and a house.

Ed side-lined his 'wife' of THREE DECADES and just...sent him off in a rowboat like he was nothing because he challenged Stede to a duel and couldn't just accept how things were now.

When Izzy calls Stede Ed's 'boyfriend' at the end of S1, it feels so aggressive but that's what Stede is - he's an infatuation, a romance, a whim. He's a boyfriend of a few weeks compared to DECADES of complicated, deep dynamics. Ed's pining, but Izzy's so far beyond that for him and watching him mourn the loss of Stede, but not the loss of them must be agonising.

#I'm bad at maths #izzy hands #ed teach #edizzy #I hurt my own feelings so you don't have to #blackhands #ofmd #stede bonnet #edward teach

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prince-kallisto · 8 months

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THIS GUY (ghost?)

THIS GUY RUINED EVERYTHING- or perhaps he gave more clues to the history of Ramshackle dorm than we initially thought! I was in the middle of working on a separate Ramshackle dorm theory when I discovered this line from the thin ghost in Book 2.

From what I can understand with this one line, he was team captain at NRC (?) for Spelldrive 90 years ago. Since team captains tend to be the older students, let’s assume he was a third year. So let’s say he was around…19 years old.

I’ve assumed that Ramshackle dorm has been abandoned for at least 100 YEARS, just because a lot of things at NRC are tied back to 100 years ago. Any history regarding Ramshackle seems to be completely erased- not even the teachers mention anything about it. But the ghost did not suffer from a young, tragic death to make the math work. Ghosts are well, dead people, and as we can see from Eliza, the princess from the Phantom Bride event, ghosts take on a vague appearance of what they looked like when they were alive. We don’t have a voice for Eliza, but I assume she would sound like a younger woman.

So this ghost died when he was an older man. Judging from his voice that was likely affected by presbyphonia, a natural vocal cord atrophy due to old age, he may have been at least 60 years old, as it is the average age for this condition. This ghost is also a rather thin one, which can also happen due to age. Of course, it could’ve just been his body type, but he seemed to have been quite athletic in his youth. Judging from muscle loss due to age, he was most likely in his 70s or 80s when he died. Besides, he…he calls himself elderly, so all this random stuff wasn’t necessary LMAO

Let’s just say he died at 75 for simplicity’s sake. He lived maybe 56 years after being a team captain at age 19. And since he was a team captain 90 years ago, the earliest he could’ve started haunting Ramshackle dorm would be 34-ish years ago, give or take.

That’s…not a very long time, is it? Of course, buildings, especially with exposure to the elements and a lack of indoor heat, will decay very quickly. But everyone talks about it like it left to rot EONS ago, but 30 years is fairly recent for a school that’s been around for more than 500 years, as we know from General Lilia.

Divus Crewel, who we know for a fact that’s been a student at NRC, is 32 years old. 16 years ago (average first year age) was more than enough time for Ramshackle to decay (18 years), so it makes sense that he wouldn’t know anything about the dorm either. All the other teachers are either young or did not attend NRC as a student.

But what about Trein? I think if we ever learn about Ramshackle, it would be from him. I don’t think Trein was a teacher at the time of Ramshackle abandonment, BUT there is a chance that he may have been a NRC student. We don’t know for sure, but if he was, he would’ve been around several years BEFORE the ghosts had the chance to haunt Ramshackle. Even if he wasn’t around as a student, Trein knows an absurd amount of history, and speaks highly of the school archives. Surely he must know something that could point us in the right direction.

Edit: Trein likely attended Noble Bell College, so unfortunately he may have not been around to see Ramshackle dorm. Doubly unfortunately, Crowley IS our best bet to learn about Ramshackle, because he even says Ramshackle holds a lot of memories and feels nostalgic. But we have to pry these answers out of him somehow 🫠 he’s keeping it secret for a reason lmao

But even with all this math, I don’t think the ghosts were the reason behind Ramshackles abandonment. If anything, the ghosts were used to cover up the REAL reason that’s still unknown. I made a post about Ramshackle’s Guest Room that felt pretty sus to me, but I don’t know if would relevant to Ramshackle’s abandonment. Still, it’s odd that such a strong spell was cast onto one of Ramshackle’s rooms.

Plus, removing Ramshackle dorm from the roster would’ve been EXTREMELY problematic at the time- which is why I don’t buy the idea that these random old ghosts were the reason for Ramshackle shutting down. Crowley said that changing dorms requires an entirely new ritual and loads of paperwork, and who knows how many Ramshackle students would have been relocated to other dorms! Plus, the students were chosen due to their literal SOUL. We don’t know what Ramshackle used to specialize in, but it must have messed up a lot of students studies (like how Pomefiore focuses in poison, or Savanaclaw with athletics). Separating all these students would have been pure chaos, and who knows how bad the rooming situation was in other dorms when a flood of displaced students come in. It just doesn’t make sense that they allowed ghosts to empty a dorm.

This post was a little roundabout haha, but I think this ghost’s information really helped to point us in the right direction 👀

#twst #twst theory #twst ramshackle #twst ghosts #twst Mozus Trein #twst Trein #twisted wonderland #kallistopost

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the-torchwood-archive · 3 months

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Owen's Age

In Martha's medical log, she states that Owen is 27 during the events of Reset. We're going to talk about why we should stop accepting that as canon and start referring to Owen as being 34 during Reset.

His birthday of February 14th is always constant and isn't something I dispute. We are given two dates for his year of birth, 1974 or 1980.

1980 is on screen in Reset and I believe Exit Wounds, as well as in text published after season two. The fact that this is well documented makes it hard to argue with, and yet I will.

1974 is only ever mentioned once, in an email that was written and published on the TW website alongside Dead Man Walking. Keep in mind that this would have been written before DMW aired, which suggests that 1980 wasn't in the script that the writers were given. A few days after airing, the date in the email was changed to 1980 to match what we saw on TV.

Let's take a quick look at a Owen timeline.

Born either 1974 or 1980.

Began training as a doctor in 1994. He would either be 14 or 20.

Late 2000/early 2001 he walked out on his college girlfriend in London. He would be either 20 or 26.

In March 2001, Owen is a qualified Doctor in Cardiff. He would be either 21 or 27.

Owen was employed by Cardiff General between at least 2000 and 2002. He would have been either 20-22 or 26-28.

Lucy Marmer is brought to Owen's attention in September 2001, six months after Owen qualified. Owen would be either 21 or 27.

Katie dies in 2005, which would make Owen either 25 or 31.

Owen is hired by Torchwood in 2006, making him either 26 or 32.

Reset is set after June 2008, making Owen either 28 or 34.

Having Owen be born in 1974 puts his timeline into some form of sense. It makes him a year older than Tosh, four years older than Gwen, and nine years older than Ianto, which sits well with the dynamics. He in no way feels five years younger than Tosh, two years younger than Gwen, and three years older than Ianto.

In addition, Burn himself is born in 1974 and I frankly don't think he looks six years younger than he actually is.

I will now take questions from the audience.

#torchwood #owen harper #meta

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burntheedges-updates · 9 months

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Over Again - main post & chapter list

This is my updates-only blog! Follow me at @burntheedges

Joel Miller x f!reader

summary: you fell in love with Joel Miller in Austin, Texas, in 2001, but you thought you lost him and your whole family in 2003 when the world turned upside down. now it's 2024, and you find the surprise of your life waiting for you in Jackson, Wyoming.

or, five times you and Joel fell deeper in love, on both sides of the apocalypse (and one time you did something about it)

18+ minors DNI

key themes: alternating timeline (2000-2003 / 2023-2024), 90s/00s country and latin music and dancing, romance, family vibes series tags/warnings: fluff, flirting, banter, romance, light angst (plus the angst of thinking the other person is dead for 20 years, aka the TLOU norm), pet names (darlin’, baby, honey, pretty girl), small age difference (reader is 26, Joel is 32/almost 33 when they meet in 2000), no use of y/n, teacher!reader (with vague details), smut (I'll update specific warnings for each chapter, but just FYI for later chapters: Joel calls reader a good girl, neck grabbing (no breath play), a bit of manhandling and spitting, a lot of sex) (feel free to dm any specific questions) a/n about reader: I've paid a lot of attention to how the reader is described in this fic. I've avoided skin color, hair type, body shape/size descriptions, and even clothing (except for one or two spots where you are specifically wearing jeans and boots). You are vaguely shorter than Joel. He does not run his fingers through your hair, and you feel the blood rush to your face or your face heat, but you don't turn red or pink. Please tell me if you notice anything I missed - I want this to be as inclusive as possible. a/n: this is the first fic I've written in almost 20 years. this man, I swear. wordcount: 42.6k

This fic is completely finished and posted! Chapter links under the cut.

Read it on ao3

Bonus: Mix CD (plot related) & series playlist, with headcanons: here.

Chapter List

Five times you and Joel fell deeper in love…

Chapter 1 - Meet Cute - Jackson, Early Winter 2023 | Austin, Summer 2000

Chapter 2 - Breaking the Ice - Jackson, Spring 2024 | Austin, Spring 2001

Chapter 3 - Dinner - Jackson, Spring 2024 | Austin, Spring 2001

Chapter 4 - First Date - Jackson, Spring 2024 | Austin, Spring 2001

Chapter 5 - Staying Over - Boston, September 26, 2003 | Jackson, Spring 2024

… and one time you did something about it.

Epilogue: Together - Austin, December 2002 | Jackson, Early Fall 2024

Outtakes and Snippets

Canned Heat (Austin, October, 2001)

Preview/sneak peeks: fic preview | ch 2 | ch 3 | ch 4 | ch 5

#joel miller x f!reader #joel miller x reader #joel miller fic #joel miller fanfiction #tlou fic #tlou fanfiction #x reader

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zodiac-senpai · 7 months

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Bisexual Kirito hints from the Light Novel:

"Klein held his curved sword at mid-level as his handsome features crumbled into a pathetic grimace beneath the tasteless bandanna." - Kirito's thoughts in Volume 1 (Aincrad) ~~~~ “Hey, Kirito! Turns out you look pretty cute after all! Just my type!” I grimaced and called back over my shoulder. “And you look ten times better now that you’re a mountain bandit!” - Klein and Kirito in Volume 1 (Aincrad) ~~~~ “All right, let’s go. Besides, I’d rather not wait to see you blubbering with fear.”

“On the contrary, try not to have your mind blown by my graceful sword work.” We turned our faces away from each other with simultaneous huffs. But for some reason, our constant trading of insults was starting to excite me…" - Kirito's degradation kink in Volume 2 (Aincrad) ~~~~ “Hang on, I’ve got this.” He winked at Leafa. “Now, we’ve got a deal to discuss.” Kirito pulled up a trade window and pointed out a list of items to the man. “Here’s all the items and yrd I earned from this fight. If you answer the simple questions we have for you, I might just give you all of this loot. How about that?” The man opened and closed his mouth several times, staring at Kirito’s bright smile. He glanced around the vicinity—probably checking to confirm that the period of resurrection for all the other salamanders had expired, and they’d been teleported back to their save point far from here—before looking back at Kirito. “…Seriously?” “Dead serious.” They traded devious smirks, and Leafa sighed to herself. “Men…” - Kirito and an ALO player in Volume 3 (Fairy Dance)

~~~~

"He looked to be my age—about seventeen or eighteen. His ash-brown hair had just a hint of waviness. Like me, he wore a simple tunic and trousers. He was sitting on a root like a bench, holding something round in his right hand. The odd part was his appearance. His skin was cream-colored, but he appeared neither fully Western nor Eastern. His features were fine and gentle, and his eyes looked dark green. The moment I saw his face, something deep in my head itched again… deep in my soul. But the instant I tried to seize the feeling, it vanished." - Kirito meeting Eugeo for the "first time" in Volume 9 (Alicization)

~~~~

"His grip was much firmer than his skinny build would suggest." - Kirito commenting on Eugeo's physique in Volume 9 (Alicization)

~~~~

Something powerful welled up in my chest, and I had to fight it down to maintain control. I grinned and told him, “All right. I’ll teach you everything I know. But the training will be harsh.” I let my smile turn impish and held out a hand. Eugeo’s mouth softened at last, and he clasped it.

“That’s just what I’m hoping for. In fact…it really is what I’ve wanted… for ever and ever.” His head dipped again, and a few clear drops fell, catching the sunlight. He stepped forward before I could even register surprise and thudded his forehead against my shoulder. I felt his whisper through my body more than heard it. “I just…figured it out. I’ve been waiting for you, Kirito. Waiting here in the forest for six long years for you to come…” “…Yeah.”

My own voice was barely audible. I reached around and thumped him lightly on the back with my left hand, still holding the sword in it. “I’m pretty sure that I woke in this forest…in order to meet you, Eugeo.” I hardly even recognized that I had said the words, but I was certain they were the truth. - YujiKiri moment in Volume 9 (Alicization)

~~~~

"As I lightly patted his not-too-muscular yet nonetheless well-built shoulders while reminiscing on today's events——" - 32/33 If novel - (If We Could Walk Together) (Part 2)

~~~~

"Chasing after my partner's well-toned back as he headed up the passageway, I made up my mind: Whenever I become a high-ranked knight, I'm so moving into the floor just below this one…" - 32/33 If novel - (If We Could Walk Together) (Part 3)

~~~~

“You’re late, Kirito!” Naturally, that came from a boy—if you could still call him that—with flaxen blond hair, sitting on the bed second from the end on the right. My partner, Eugeo. He stood up and put his hands on his hips. He’d grown an inch or two since we’d first met two years ago and was more firmly built now. It only made sense, as he would be nineteen this year. Yet his gentle features and sparkling green eyes hadn’t changed a bit. - Kirito's growing muscle kink in Volume 10 (Alicization)

~~~~

Eugeo whimpered, then clamped his mouth shut.

But Kirito smirked and boasted, “Have no fear, young man. Big Bro will never abandon you.” - Kirito "teasing" Eugeo in Volume 11 (Alicization)

~~~~

He scrunched up his face and looked down at the ground, so I moved toward him and ruffled his flaxen hair. “You’re such a worrywart. I told you —whether my memory comes back or not, I’m going along on your journey to the end.”

Eugeo raised his reddened faced and protested, “Don’t treat me like a child.” But he didn’t try to brush away my hand. “I’m…I’m not doubting your word. You’ve said that over and over. But…when I started thinking about how our journey might be coming to an end, it just…”

His voice was tense and thick with emotion, and I started to feel something rising within my own chest. I looked up, hand still on Eugeo’s head. - Kirito "reassuring" Eugeo in Volume 11 (Alicization)

~~~~

“Sadly, this is not for children like you…especially not criminal children. It’s a hundred-and-fifty-year vintage from the Western Empire. I might let you sample its bouquet, though.”

He grinned, swiveling the glass in his fingers. Even in the starlight, he was shockingly handsome. The combination of his prominent, thin-bridged nose and slightly wild eyebrows had a profound balance, and his long, sharp eyes glinted with intelligence. Eugeo and I were both shocked into silence. The knight uncrossed his legs and stood up, his armor faintly ringing. He was very tall—at least a head taller than me. His deep-violet cape and pale-purple hair both flowed in the night breeze. - Kirito describing Eldrie upon him and Eugeo meeting him for the first time in Volume 11 (Alicization)

~~~~

"Now that I thought about it, in the two years since I’d met him near Rulid, there had never been a situation in which I couldn’t see him immediately if I wanted—until right now. We slept outdoors on our long journey to Centoria, complained about sharing a cramped inn floor, and even shared dorm rooms the entire time we were at Swordcraft Academy. It was simply a given that we were always together, and although I didn’t always think about him, I felt oddly lonely now that we were apart. No—it wasn’t that simple. Here in the Underworld, the ultimate virtual realm, I’d finally found the very first person of my gender that I could truly call a best friend. It was a bit embarrassing to admit, but that was the plain truth of it." - Kirito realizing how important Eugeo is to him, if not MORE than Asuna, in Volume 13 (Alicization)

~~~~

Like sand sucking up water, Eugeo had absorbed all the combat strategies I’d built up over the last few years, which I grandiosely called the Aincrad style. I couldn’t help but feel a strangely deep joy and satisfaction in his progress. This swordplay had been the source of my personal pride, and yet nothing more than gaming techniques—and it felt like Eugeo learning and making them his own had turned that skill into something real for the first time. If I could solve all the problems afflicting the Underworld and escape safely with Eugeo’s fluctlight intact, I wanted to have him dive into ALfheim Online instead—I was certain that the lightcube was capable of interfacing with all Seed-based VR worlds equally—so that he could meet Asuna, Leafa, Klein, and all the others. Here’s my first pupil, and best friend, I’d say to them.

I couldn’t wait for that moment to arrive. At that point, for the very first time, I’d finally be on the same level as the many people who supported and helped me…

“What are you grinning about?” I blinked, startled out of my reverie by the sound of a voice to my right. I turned to see Alice, who was watching me with an unpleasant look. I quickly brought up a hand to rub at the corner of my mouth as I protested. “Er, I was just…thinking about some stuff ahead…” - Kirito "thinking" of Eugeo in Volume 13 (Alicization)

~~~~

“………Eugeo………” The name left my mouth as barely more than a moan.

I would never mistake him for anyone else. He was my partner and my best friend; we’d been inseparable since our meeting in the forest two years ago. The only thing that kept me going for so long in this alternate world was Eugeo’s presence at my side. I would never, ever see his features in someone else’s face by accident. - Kirito's reaction to Integrity Knight Eugeo in Volume 13 (Alicization)

~~~~~

Eugeo’s muscled body, the translucent blade of the Blue Rose Sword, and the crystal prism formed one straight line. - Volume 14 (Alicization)

~~~~

Eugeo’s eyelids were just barely lifted. He was smiling. His face was paler than the moonlight itself, and his lips were totally bloodless. It was obvious that his life was continuing to drain away. But his green eyes were the same as when I first met him, gentle and warm and bright. - Kirito gazing gayly at Eugeo even as he 🥹 in Volume 14 (Alicization)

~~~~

“Kirito, did you…did you just hear that…?” “Hear what…? Oh, about the yummy-nummy milk? You’ve really taken to fatherhood, haven’t you? Ha-ha-ha.” “Don’t you ‘ha-ha-ha’ me! Now that you’ve heard that, I can’t let you leave unharmed. I’ve gotta pound that memory right outta your head!”

“Bring it!” - Kirito and Iskahn in Volume 19 (Moon Cradle)

(Kirito, why are you smiling?)

*Afterward...*

~~~~

"Between the brim of the hat and the folded collar of the jacket, the sun shone on gentle, wavy hair. It was not blond but a darker golden brown. In a word: flaxen. Suddenly, my heart began racing without reason. My breathing quickened and became shallower; my fingertips went cold and numb. Awkwardly, I craned my neck to the right, capturing the entirety of the commander in my sight. If he was a man, he was neither skinny nor bulky. If either, he was on the slender side, similar to my figure. But even through the thick coat, I could tell his muscles were well honed. I wanted to reach out and feel his shoulder to see how hardy it was. In fact, I wanted to rip off his mask, pull those collars apart, and——" - Kirito meeting Eolyne for the first time in Volume 24 (Unital Ring)

#bisexual kirito supremacy #and people say he's straight lol #you can date a girl AND be into guys: that's literally what bisexual means lol #kirito #kazuto kirigaya #eugeo #eolyne #klein #sword art online #sao #sao light novel #cakeverse #sao alicization #bishonen #pretty boy #pretty boi #yujikiri #kiriyuji #kirikahn

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burntheedges · 7 months

Text

Over Again - main post & chapter list

note: I'm moving things to a new blog! I set up a full blog instead of a side blog, so please follow me here. The old blog is now @burntheedges-updates.

Joel Miller x f!reader

or, five times you and Joel fell deeper in love, on both sides of the apocalypse (and one time you did something about it)

18+ minors DNI

This fic is completely finished and posted! Chapter links under the cut.

Read it on ao3

Bonus: Mix CD (plot related) & series playlist, with headcanons: here.

Chapter List

Five times you and Joel fell deeper in love…

Chapter 1 - Meet Cute - Jackson, Early Winter 2023 | Austin, Summer 2000

Chapter 2 - Breaking the Ice - Jackson, Spring 2024 | Austin, Spring 2001

Chapter 3 - Dinner - Jackson, Spring 2024 | Austin, Spring 2001

Chapter 4 - First Date - Jackson, Spring 2024 | Austin, Spring 2001

Chapter 5 - Staying Over - Boston, September 26, 2003 | Jackson, Spring 2024

… and one time you did something about it.

Epilogue: Together - Austin, December 2002 | Jackson, Early Fall 2024

Outtakes and Snippets

Canned Heat (Austin, October, 2001)

Preview/sneak peeks: fic preview | ch 2 | ch 3 | ch 4 | ch 5

#over again fic #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller fanfiction #tlou fic #x reader

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aliusworld · 10 months

Note

Hiiiiii, so I read a fic where Aqua went to his old home and his daughter is all grown up. He had a wife in his previous life and I want your take on it please. But I read your rules that you won’t do requests that involved kids and marriage so I’m not sure if this counts. If it does, then I’m just happy that I get to share this concept I saw and see what you think about it :)

No cuz I actually really like this idea… so, I’ll let it slide

Logically: Reader will be older than Aqua because… yeah. It works like that so…~~ I’m also having a hard time like placing what age they’d be because like I don’t know how easy it’s be for reader to believe him that like “yeah bro I’m your dead dad that got reincarnated” so I just…???? But I don’t want to make them too old either because Mr doctor man was like ~~32? So like.

Also the doctor is a loser man with my gf bcs he’s an idol otaku so like that would just be very unbelievable if he had like a whole thing but I’ll stop

I don’t think I have the time or emotional capacity to write a full fic for it right now, but I’ll write bullet points…

Aqua/The Doctor (Goro) with Past-Daughter!Reader

SPOILERS AHEAD.

For the sake of my brain’s health, I’ll say that you were 7 when Goro went ‘missing’.

Which would mean that he was 25 when you were conceived. And the perfect age where you could have some sort of recollection of him in your life.

When Aqua goes back to his hometown, originally it was intention to find his old body’s corpse, however, the old nurse he used to work with that had his child slipped his mind.

“Goro Amamiya, has their been any information on him after he went missing?” Aqua asked, the person at the front desk of the hospital shook her head, “Ah, I see…” Aqua turned his head to look back at Akane who was sitting on a lounge chair, fiddling with her phone, “What about Nurse Nozaki?”

The Nurse does not actually have a canon name I could find, so I just came up with something! (The “Nurse” character im talking about it the woman who was commenting on Goro’s obsession with Ai and love for Sarina.)

Another addition for this story is that the Nurse is about a year older than Goro, meaning she was 26 when she gave birth to the reader. And in current time, she would be about ~50 years old.

“Oh! Nurse Nozaki left to take a well needed vacation with her husband two days ago, you just missed her!” The worker paused for a second and put a finger on their chin, “What is it that you needed to talk to her about?”

“It’s a… family matter I wanted to talk to her about.” Aqua lied through his teeth, though he wasn’t directly lying. After all, that was his past daughter he was trying to find.

“Well then, Nurse Nozaki has her kid live close by, their somewhere in town here.” The worker rummaged through the computer, “Ah, here. Important information for Nurse Nozaki. I’ll give you her line number and…”

Aqua hates the way the worker didn’t double check on his true intentions, but he was still grateful on how he could still see his daughter thanks to that. He did the math in his head, if his “daughter” was 7 when he went missing, then now you’d be a fully fleshed adult.

He considered just letting his past life go and leave you be, but he still wanted to be able to see what you’re up to. Who you grew up to be, fuck, even if you even remembered your father.

Aqua ordered Akane to stay back, but to his dismay, she came along with him anyway. He quickly snuck the address into his phone, and followed the route until he saw you standing outside making a phone call.

He couldn’t be sure that it was you at first, but he could take his chances, after all, he wasn’t planning on staying here for too long. Though, the person standing before him did look like you. Same hair color, same eyes, same marks on the body. What made it more evident was your personality, it wasn’t easy examining it from a distance, but the phone call seemed to be enough for him.

It was you.

Now, how should he approach you?

“Akane,” Aqua tilted his head to look at her, “How would you approach someone you used to be really close to but… grew apart as life went on?”

“Oh! Hmm, let’s see… it really depends on their personality—“

I’m gonna cut off Akane there because, hah, I don’t think I can fit the perfect personality for everyone so yeah.

But Aqua would lie to get to know you, pretend that he was a childhood friend of yours that you just so happened to have forgotten.

“My name is Aqua, your mom gave me your address. We played together when we were younger.” Aqua lied.

“Oh! Aqua! Yeah, that rings a bell.” You lie right back, he didn’t know if that’s just how you always acted or if you were just trying to be kind, “What brings you here?”

“I just thought that we could catch up with each other, that’s all.” He sat on the curb in front of you, which you follow quickly after, “Like… how is your love life going?”

You went on to explain things going on with your life, even though you weren’t quite sure if he was an actual stranger or someone you once knew, you still felt somewhat of a bond.

Then Aqua went on to investigate you on his old self, more importantly, how you felt about him.

“Oh, well, my father has been missing for 17 years now. He’s probably dead, but… I always thought he’d come back home.” You get teary eyed, “He never did though so… I guess I lost hope. Either that or he did just run away, but I doubt he’d do that.”

“… He sounds like a good man.” Aqua’s eyes darken, he couldn’t dare to look you in the eyes, “And you sound like a good girl. I’m sure we would’ve come back to you.”

“Thanks, friend.”

A few hours later, Akane and Ruby would find Goro’s body.

Guess who was their to comfort you?

•••|•••|•••|•••|•••

Akane is best girl btw…

MASTERLIST

#aliusworld #oshi no ko x reader #aqua x reader #aqua Hoshino x reader #Hoshino aqua x reader #aqua x you #aqua x y/n #oshi no ko fanfic

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maintitle · 5 months

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I remember when I first played Red Dead at the age of 18, it being cathartic to watch Jack shoot Edgar Ross. Seeing John being gunned down like that hurt me so much that I felt vindicated that Edgar died at least half the death John did.

Now, at the age of 32 after over a decade of life and a sequel that told the story that lead to it, it's the most bitter thing I've had to make a character do in a game. This wasn't the plan for him, he was supposed to be a writer, or a rancher, or anything else. John sacrificed everything to give Jack a different life, Abigail scarified everything to give him a different life, Arthur sacrificed everything to give him a different life, hell, Uncle sacrificed everything to give him a different life.

But no matter how hard they all tried, the cycle couldn't be escaped. And I have to guide Jack at a young age through hell and brimstone, through staring a man's brother and his wife in the eye coldly and lying to them just to find their family member and exact vengeance none of them would have wanted.

No matter how hard anyone tried, the cycle just can't be broken. There's no way out. And now Jack has to live it too. And that's absolutely more heartbreaking than any moment in the series.

#rdr spoilers #rdr1 spoilers #rdr2 spoilers #rdr #red dead redemption #red dead redemption 2 #red dead redemption spoilers #red dead redemption 2 spoilers #Jack Marston #John Marston #Abigail Marston #Arthur Morgan #Uncle

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ystrike1 · 7 months

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My Suha - By Chahyun (9/10)

The long wait was worth it. This is a long, dramatic read that features a surprising amount of realism. If you're looking for a light rich guy/secretary story go somewhere else. The side characters are great. The villains are hateable, and there is no perfect happy ending. Life doesn't work like that.

Suha is kind of a slut. He's 32 and he isn't into commitment. He has a favorite gay bar. He's got a great job as a corporate secretary, because he's got great connections. The owner of the company is basically his grandmother, so he was able to get opportunities that would otherwise not be possible. His father died, so grandma CEO took his whole family in. It's kind of implied that he was an important employee, and grandma owed him alot of favors. How sweet...

Not.

Suha is basically a modern indentured servant. CEO Grandma is the ultimate villain, who always believes she is right. Question everything. Alot of the people in Suha's past have used him.

Suha used to care for grannies not-so-beloved grandson, Jiwoon, when he was still a child. Jiwoon was "slow". He is the black sheep of the family. His parents abandoned him. His father left the family because, shocker, Granny was so controlling that she tried to force him to get a divorce. Apparently, his wife wasn't good enough. That's a sane and nice thing to say. His father ran off with his wife, but he left his son behind. He believed that his son should benefit from the family fortune. His father wasn't confident enough. He thought Jiwoon would resent him one day, if he took away the boy's chance to be rich and privileged.

Jiwoon, of course, quickly developed abandonment issues and his health got bad. Grandma favors her other grandson, from her more obedient son. Jiwoon dealt with near constant emotional abuse and neglect. In a gold cage, with five star food.

Suha was his only light, and Suha has no clue.

Suha becomes Jiwoon's secretary. It's a coincidence. Jiwoon is really, really repressed. He is also bisexual. He's had a crush on Suha for uh...about 15 years??? He wanted to get over it, but he couldn't. He's really, really good at repressing his emotions. Grandma and Suha don't even know he's interested in men.

He starts to snap slowly.

This is Ms. Choi. We love Ms. Choi. We love all the side characters that aren't villains. She's a potential wife for Jiwoon, but she notices he's crazy first. She knows he's dead serious about being with Suha forever. Suha sure doesn't. He doesn't figure it out for ages. Ms. Choi's sharp instincts are our first real hint.

Something Is Very Wrong With Him.

Suha and Jiwoon start hooking up.

Suha thinks it's not serious. Jiwoon plays along. He tells white lies, but he does want to date.

Small problem.

Suha "dated" his extremely abusive and spoiled brother. You know, the grandson granny prefers???

Do-hyeok is a monster. He only thinks about using the people around him for cash or pleasure. He's also into men, and women. He's a lecherous and merciless person. Suha has always been an attractive man. He took advantage of Suha's youth, and his grateful debt to granny, to drag him into a casual relationship.

Suha genuinely loved him. Do-hyeok pressured him into group play, and it basically got to the point where he was Suha's pimp. What happened in their relationship is...detailed and awful, and it explains why Suha is so afraid of commitment.

He thinks love doesn't last.

Jiwoon really does love Suha. He lays it on thick. He waits for Suha to get more comfortable. They go to the gym in matching clothes. Jiwoon sometimes follows him around. Jiwoon sometimes uses Suha's sister to track his location, daily life, and habits. Jiwoon knows what he likes in bed. Jiwoon hates his whole family and the company that currently makes him rich.

He has no friends.

He is the same antisocial boy he was.

He's just better at hiding it.

Do-hyeok attacks Suha. It's an amazing and dramatic arc. Suha bites his tongue and he ends up saving Jiwoon in the end too. It's great. Love wins. The evil is defeated.

....Jiwoon starts to get more controlling after Suha is injured.

He steals Suha's phone.

He tells Suha to quit his job, and somehow things still keep escalating.

We reach a breaking point where Suha is constantly reassuring his boyfriend. Jiwoon begs Suha to stay. He says he's everything, but that's too much. After a whole month of bring imprisoned with lies Suha snaps.

After the Do-hyeok situation Suha was put on leave to recover. Jiwoon extended this leave, and he started isolating Suha. Suha has friends and a loving family. All of them start looking for him. Jiwoon goes off the deep end, believing that Suha will delete everyone and wait at home for him forever.

It's all for his sake.

Jiwoon takes Do-hyeok down, while Suha is locked up in a safe luxury apartment. His fraudulent spending is exposed thanks to Suha's amazing friends and Jiwoon's obsessive desire for vengeance. Justice comes, but when it does Suha wants to go back to work.

Jiwoon doesn't want him to go back to work.

Suha leaves the prison of love, and he says he needs a break.

After a break Jiwoon tells Suha to come back to work. He does. Jiwoon has become his old self. The shell of perfection with no particular feelings for anyone. The perfect businessman, but his clothes are even nicer. He looks great. Suha thinks that he may have moved on, but Jiwoon is trying to be normal so he can be the right partner for Suha.

Suha says he loves Jiwoon. He doesn't have to be perfect and polite all the time....but uhhhh hiding his phone, using his sister, and trying to eliminate all of his friends...wasn't good.

Suha and Jiwoon go visit Jiwoon's parents, so the healing process can begin. It turns out that Jiwoon has two adult siblings he will never know. His parents had them after they abandoned him. He decides that he can't forgive them, but he wishes them well.

He moves on to a better chapter of his life, with Suha.

I would have made this review longer, but this story really is worth reading. It's dramatic, but the characters feel real and rough and sad. They're adults in their thirties struggling with being queer and lonely and emotional baggage. Jiwoon is also an enjoyable yandere, who does deserve his bittersweet happy ending.

#yandere #male yandere #yandere male #yandere boy #recommendations #recs #rec #recommended #webtoon #yaoi #my suha

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egmo614 · 23 days

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Batman Kidnapped. Chapter 3

Little by little Batman began to regain consciousness. When he was able to discern his situation a little, he realized two things. He was handcuffed and on the floor of an extremely luxurious place, probably a mansion

-Wake up sleepyhead - said a sensual voice coming from behind. Footsteps slowly approached. When they stood in front of each other Batman found himself facing a young man he had never seen before. A very beautiful man, he thought to himself.

-Where… where… am I? - He asked, struggling uselessly with the handcuffs that held him.

-Oh Batman. Don't worry about that. You're not even in your country. So you better relax.

-What is all this? I must… I must return to Gotham…

-I'm afraid that's not going to be possible for now, Batman. I guess you want to know what all this is. I think it's only fair that you know.

The beautiful young man walked away from him and approached the window that overlooked a garden that Batman couldn't see.

-You're mine now Batman. I know who you are, I know your secret identity, but I'm not going to divulge it. Don't worry about that. I've been in love with you for years. I became obsessed with you a long time ago. Your perfect body, that sensual suit. Your beautiful buttocks. All. So I started investigating you. And finally I could see how you acted, what clues you followed, how you caught your enemies, who you were behind that mask. Bruce Wayne. Who was going to say it? A playboy millionaire channels his sense of justice dressed as a bat at night catching villains. We have the same age. 32 years. And my parents are dead too. But nobody cares.

-Let go! L..let me go please!

-You're going to be mine for a week Batman. You are going to be my property for that period. You will be at my entire disposal. We're going to have sex as many times as I want, in the way I want. When we're not doing that you're going to be here. You are going to eat top quality food and my butler is going to come and clean you every day. The entire house is surrounded by snipers. I left your utility belt but I took out all the contents. I just added a device that will give you a 300 Volt shock if you make a wrong step. I also have Robin and Alfred captured. Any wrong step on your part and they die. If you try to make contact with someone asking for help Robin and Alfred die. If you don't agree to my every whim, Robin and Alfred die. I just have to press a button. Do you understand, Batman?

-You're mad.

-Yeah. It's true Batman. Madly in love with you. You're the only man I'm attracted to. I'm tired of being surrounded by people who kneel when I enter a room. All that obsequential people! But not you. You are the only one who never kneels for anyone. So I ask you one more time, Batman. You have understood?

-The only thing I understand is that you are a disgusting ruffian.

-That outburst only indicates one thing. You haven't rested well. You must continue sleeping. But first let's test the device on your belt.

The prince said the order "discharge" and then two electrodes stuck into Batman's skin, sending an electric shock throughout his body. The hero screamed in pain as he arched his body. Immediately afterwards he was dejected, sweating, but did not lose consciousness. However, the prince knelt beside him with a handkerchief soaked in chloroform that he pressed to his handsome face. Batman could only resist slightly and after blinking for a few seconds everything was darkness again.

#captured #trapped #robin #batman #hero #leather #ia #nightwing #herofetish #hero love #gay hero #gayhot #gay men #gay art #gayboy

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max1u3 · 8 months

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Blackwatch timeline

Ok, so, bear with me, this is going to take a lot of little points for me to peace together to make the bigger picture here.

So, we know that Gabriel Reyes worked as a police officer and was know for arresting lots of criminals, but then he didn't find his work having any sort of impact of the criminal rate and figured that to destroy crime he had to cut it off at the source, correct?

And he was born in 2018, making his 58 in the current (Overwatch) year of 2076. We also know the Omnic crisis started exactly 30 years ago, when he was 28.

Then (If we're going with the earliest years possible for everything) Overwatch was founded a year later and he was put in charge of Overwatch as Strike Commander when he was 29.

If we're approximating that the Omnic Crisis lasted about 3 ish years, then he was 32 when it ended and his Command was switched to Blackwatch.

He was 32 when Blackwatch was created!

The sting operation that resulted in Jesse McCree (or Cole Cassidy whatever you want to call him) joining Blackwatch took place when McCree was 17. Which leads me to the question of who was Gabriel Reyes even working with on missions before hand? Did he have a strike squad before he picked up Jesse McCree?

We also know there's about ten years age difference between Gabriel Reyes and Jesse McCree, which means McCree was 12 when Blackwatch was formed.

And Genji joined Blackwatch in 2066, which is only 10 years prior. Making Gabriel Reyes 48 and Jesse McCree 38. That is a huge age gap and what do we even know about what happened during that time?

Roughly a year or so later we know that Gabriel Reyes invites Moira into Blackwatch and she starts her experiments on him? But like, we know nothing about these experiments, only what they did. And if the short story 'Code of Violence' is being added into the mix, then we're led to believe that the initial experiments that Moira conducted on him did not have as dramatic effect. I don't really know what that entails, but it could mean that he could mist and move around a little bit, but was otherwise a full man. In the 'Code of Violence' short story it's mentioned that Moira is the one to find Gabriel Reyes after the explosion of the Overwatch facility, and to 'save' his life she pumped him full of the chemicals she used in her prior experiments, the results being Reaper. It meant his body became more mist like and he had to concentrate on being a full man almost every moment of the day, it also meant he was in constant pain and his anger was harder and harder to control. He also started to find gratification in the more gruelling and cruel acts. Or at least that was the impression I got from the story. But my point is, the most we have referencing the experiments Moira conducted on Gabriel Reyes are this picture:

And a paragraph or two in the story 'Code of Violence' which more focuses on his internal struggles immediately after the incident.

Then, (getting back on track, that was a bit of rant sorry) we know the Venice incident took place 8 years ago, when Gabriel Reyes kills Antonio Bartalotti and reveals Blackwatch to the world, and putting it under the investigation of Jack Morrison, Gérard Lacroix and Ana Amari. As seen in the end scenes of Retribution and in the photo below:

We also know that somewhere in between the next two years Genji moves from the Blackwatch divison to the Overwatch strike team including Tracer, Mercy and Winston. We also know that his cybernetics have been updated in this time. But, I'm not entirly confident on the idea that he was moved to Overwatch from Blackwatch, there's nothing that we know (or I've found) that supports that idea, other than him appearing in the Overwatch strike team during the Storm Rising archives mission and his updated cybernetics.

Then, 6 years ago the Overwatch Swiss HQ is blown up and Gabriel Reyes and Jack Morrison are presumed dead. The Petras act is ratified and Overwatch is disbanded.

A lot of investigation is put into Overwatch and Blackwatch's activities between the time period of the Retribution achieves mission and the Petras act's ratification. Which is a time period of roughly 2 years.

My point is, there are huge gaps in the timeline and not all the information is concrete, a lot of it is inferred from what we have. (Blizzard I beg give us more lore).

There's the 5 years between Blackwatch being founded and McCree being bought into the organisation, where we know next to nothing.

Then there's 21 years between McCree and Genji joining Blackwatch. What happened in those 21 years? Surely there are some important events to note in 21 years?

The later years of Blackwatch are less murky, but there's still no solid dates or years being handed to us by Blizzard and it's been 7 years! I mean come on! All the dates and ages I used in this are drawn from the Overwatch Timeline on the fandom Wiki, and those are only approximations that make sense with the ages we've been given for the current game.

Anyway, I just wanted to complain about this because I feel like I don't hear enough people complaining about it. It's probably the same for Overwatch, but at least we have more of an idea what the Overwatch organisation was like. We roughly know that there were a lot more foot soldiers than Blackwatch had, at least that's what I thought was implied every time it was bought up or featured. It's easier to fill in the gaps between the years as general peace keeping, but Blackwatch was supposed to handle the more rogue missions (Can't really think of a better word for it). There's only so much guessing and filling in we can do Blizzard!

If you read this far thank you, you're a real one.

#ow2 #overwatch #overwatch 2 #ow #gabriel reyes #reeaper #blackwatch #moira #genji #mccree #cassidy #jack morrison #ana amari #retribution #storm rising #venice incident #timeline #this doesn't make sense!

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joelalorian · 2 months

Text

Tides of Desire - Chapter Ten: On Your Beam Ends

*mood board by the lovely @janaispunk. divider by the equally lovely @saradika-graphics

Pairing: Yacht Captain!Joel Miller x f!reader

Series Summary: TLOU no outbreak AU. Joel Miller is a luxury yacht captain running charters in the Caribbean. You join the crew as a deckhand and unexpectedly complicate Joel's peaceful existence. Basically the TLOU bunch on a Below Deck yacht.

Chapter warnings: 18+ MDNI. Angst, tears, cursing, overthinking, adults avoiding confrontation. Poor Reader is having a week. Smallish age gap (reader is 32 or so, Joel is 40). No use of y/n, though reader is of British descent and has the nickname Brit (occasionally used). Chapter names are nautical phrases.

a/n: Thank you to all who have commented, liked, or reblogged! Every single one is sincerely appreciated.

Series masterlist

Bolting upright at the sudden cacophony, Joel rubbed his eyes and tried to get his brain functioning. The pounding on the door vibrated through his head, nearly as loud as the alarms sounding from the bridge. You stirred next to him, equally as disoriented at the harsh wake up call.

“Captain!” a shout reverberated through the wooden door and Joel stood with a groan, his muscles tight from last night’s activities.

“Damn it! Hold on.”

The door burst open just as he slipped a clean pair of boxer briefs over his hips. Bill entered the room, speaking frantically, “We’ve got a big problem, Jo—oh shit!”

Already clutching the sheet to your chest, looking like you wanted to disappear beneath it, your eyebrows shot up and you slid further down in the bed in embarrassment. Joel pinched the bridge of his nose as Bill stared between the two of you, brows pulled together. Joel grumbled under his breath. It was too early for this shit. Dark, frustrated eyes finally raising to look at Bill, Joel gestured for him to get on with whatever the emergency was.

“Right, not my business. There was a mechanical failure in the engine room sometime early this morning, the damn engine’s flooded with sea water. We’re dead in the water until it’s fixed, and I can’t do it alone.”

“Fuck!” Joel shouted. He did not need that right now. The lingering fondness from your night together was fading fast, the memory of the words that nearly spilt from his lips long gone, guilt settling into its place. He let himself get distracted and shit hit the proverbial fan. The charter season could be well and done for them if they couldn’t fix the issue. “How did no one notice earlier?” he snapped, pulling on some more clothes.

Bill quirked a brow, silently asking if Joel was fucking kidding him. “Everyone was sleeping and we’re at port,” the man grumbled, annoyed at having to explain something so obvious. “There was no reason to have anyone on watch and the alarms didn’t trigger until a short bit ago.”

“Fine,” Joel snapped with a flick of his wrist, gesturing for Bill to leave. “I’ll meet you down in the engine room in a few minutes.”

Slipping from the bed with a sigh once Bill left, you wrapped your arms around Joel’s broad back. He knew you were trying to comfort him when he had the weight of the world on his shoulders, but he immediately stiffened, running a frustrated hand through his already mussed hair. Your hands fell as he stepped away, still not turning around. He couldn’t bear to face you, not with what he was about to do. He couldn’t do this anymore. The exact thing he was afraid would happen just did and he’d been distracted. The only saving grace was that no one was hurt or put in danger.

“Get dressed. I gotta go. You should get back to your cabin. You shouldn’t have been in here in the first place.” He kept his voice cold, detached, while attaching a freshly charged radio onto his waistband.

“Joel…” Your voice was soft, tender, barely a breath in the air, yet he could hear the hurt in your voice clear as day and he winced. Clearing your throat, in a more measured tone, you added, “Can I do anything to help? Sounds like an extra set of hands might help.”

Already stressed and second guessing every decision he made concerning you in the past twenty-four hours, he snapped. “You can help by getting out of here and back to your cabin where you belong! Quit being a distraction when I have a job to do, a yacht to run. I knew something like this would happen if I gave in. I fuckin’ knew it and I did it anyway. Now here where we are.”

By your sharp inhalation behind him, he knew his words stung. That’s what he wanted, though it stung him too. He needed to push you away, to get you out of his sight so he could focus on the important things again, to keep shit like season-ending disasters from happening on his watch. He needed to not get caught in bed with a deckhand by the yacht’s fucking engineer, god damn it!

“You can hardly blame a mechanical failure in the dead of night on me, Joel. That’s not fair and you know it.”

He ignored you, brushing his teeth as quickly as he could. You were right, but he couldn’t admit that, not to you and not right then.

You were a blur, frantically slipping on your dress from last night, when he finally turned to face you. See caught the moment you remembered your panties were in the pocket of the pants he wore last night, clearly resigned to just leave them behind as a bitter reminder of what could have been. His tee shirt balled up in your fist, you met his hardened gaze and launched it at him without another word, the material smacking him in the face before catching it. Storming from his quarters, you missed the way the stony mask disintegrated as he held the shirt against his face, inhaling the lingering scent of you one more time. He already regretted pushing you away, but it had to be done. He was a fool to have thought otherwise.

“FUCK!” Joel shouted, wanting desperately to punch something, anything, but he held back. The last thing he needed was to damage the yacht further. Instead, he strode to the bridge and mashed the controls until the alarms were silenced and he could think clearly again, dashing down the decks to the engine room.

Your words weaved their way through his mind on repeat the rest of the day, your voice small and hurt, causing an ache in his chest. He pushed them down, fought them back, every chance he could.

What the hell just happened?

You had no idea. One second, you’re peacefully sleeping in Joel’s warm embrace after a wonderful night together. The next? He’s a stone-faced version of the caring man he’d been hours earlier, kicking you out of his room like the intimate, steamy moments between you never happened. He pushed you away like you meant nothing to him, treating you as nothing more than an inconvenience, an impediment to the rest of his day, his job, his life. You’d never felt less wanted, more worthless than in that very moment.

Was he really that upset about something unexpectedly happening to an engine while you were together?

Your head spun, once again on that stomach-churning roller coaster with Joel. At the peak last night, everything felt amazing and hopeful, now the bottom dropped out and you felt derailed, wondering if you’d ever get back on track again.

Eyes burning with the imminent threat of tears, you avoided everyone on the rush back to your cabin, finally losing the battle to keep the tears at bay when you reached your bunk, thankfully devoid of Tess’ presence. You were far from ready to talk to anyone, especially Sarah or Tess – they were too connected to Joel. Curling up into the smallest form possible, you slid under the bunched-up covers, ear buds in to drown out the ambient noise, and hid in the dark room for hours.

What a fool you were to believe that things between you and Joel could have worked out.

You fell into a fitful sleep, the kind where you dreamt that you were awake and your mind… Would. Just. Not. Stop. The nap didn’t help any – you awoke more exhausted emotionally and physically than you were when you fell asleep.

A soft knock on the cabin door disturbed your relentless staring at the wall and you sighed. “Brit? Can I come in?” Sarah’s concerned yet hesitant voice carried through the door. “I… um… I heard what –”

“I just need some time alone, Sar,” you cut her off, tearfully. Your voice caught on the next word, “Please.”

After a long pause, a thump sounded on the door which you thought might be Sarah’s head. The thought left you oddly amused. If anyone should be banging their head against something it would be you.

“Ok, I’ll leave you be, for now. But I’m here if you need anything. Just text me.”

You didn’t respond, the tension leaving your shoulders at the sound of Sarah’s footsteps finally moving away from your door. You wondered, briefly, if you’re reaction was immature or petty, if you should just suck it up, just let it go and act like the adult you were. The thought only just occurred to you before he hurt and rejection set in full force once again and you didn’t care how fucking immature it might be, you deserved to wallow for as long as you needed, wanted. You just had your heart broken. Fuck Joel or anyone else who had something to say about it.

The engine room was a wreck, control panels pulled apart, engine in pieces on the ground as Bill worked his magic cleaning parts and making repairs, Joel serving as his right hand. The two men worked seamlessly, silently, an arrangement that suited Joel just fine as it kept him busy and held the twinges of guilt and regret at bay. He already received an earful from his daughter wanting to know just what the hell he did to you after she saw you flee to your room on the verge of tears. And though Bill didn’t say a word about what he saw or heard, his keen gaze carried judgement and opinions that Joel was certain he did not want to hear. Not now and maybe not ever.

It took all day and half the night, many frantic phone calls, and one visit to a well-stocked marina by Tommy, while he was still in Old San Juan with Maria, to get the mechanical issues sorted out and the engine put back together. There would be no impact to the incoming charter the next day, thankfully. By the time they were done, Joel was exhausted and numb and in need of a full week of sleep. He wanted to talk to you, needed to talk to you, but what could he possibly say?

Now that the engine issues were resolved, his reaction that morning seemed like overkill. If he was honest with himself, he’d admit it was a total over-reaction. He could have – should have – handled it better. Instead, he panicked and blew everything out of proportion, placing the blame and burden of past mistakes and poor decisions on you, unfairly hurting you in the process.

Joel briefly considered stopping by your cabin to check on you before heading to the bridge – Sarah coldly informed him you’d been locked up in there all day and she blamed him for it, rightly so – but he thought better of it. Emotions were still on edge and exhaustion won out. He’d give you time and get some rest before going to plead his case to you with his tail between his legs.

Frank stood at the helm checking over the readings from the engine test Joel asked him to run earlier, his head lifting to meet Joel’s gaze when he stepped onto the bridge.

“Bill told me what he walked in on and the aftermath he heard.” Frank’s tone was measured as he leant back against the console, arms folded loosely in front of his chest. “We can all see how much you care about her.”

Frank had a way about him that made people open up to him – something in his countenance and sympathetic gaze. With just two sentences, Frank had Joel blurting out what happened, the captain baring his soul before he even realized it was happening. He told Frank everything that was in his heart, all of his worries, everything. When he finished, Joel was surprised to feel relieved. How long had it been since he shared the full burdens of his heart and mind with someone?

“You need to talk to her, Joel,” Frank replied gently after hearing the regret in the captain’s voice. “Tell her what you told me, she deserves to know – share the burden, it obviously helps.”

Absentmindedly tapping his fingers against the console, Joel shuffled nervously. “You don’t think it’s too soon to tell her I love her?” he questioned hesitantly.

“Only you know the answer to that. However, to me, it’s never too soon to tell someone you love them. Life is too short to hold such things back.”

Joel’s dark eyes searched Frank’s, looking for any doubt or insincerity but found neither. The man spoke from the heart and offered the best advice he could. Joel nodded his thanks with a quiet good night and departed for his quarters. He would sleep on it and consider following Frank’s advice in the morning.

Unsurprisingly, sleep did not come easy that night.

The tension on the boat the following morning was palpable as everyone readied for the arrival of the next round of charter guests. Tommy treated you with kid gloves, having obviously heard about yesterday’s drama through the grapevine, shooting you concerned glances whenever he gave orders or his brother’s voice carried over the radio. You knew he felt at least partially responsible based on the guilt in his eyes when he looked at you. You didn’t have the emotional bandwidth to let him know it was not his fault at all, not yet.

Wearing sunglasses even inside the yacht to hide your puffy eyes, you managed to avoid talking to anyone about what happened. Sarah and Tess tried a few times, but respected your boundaries when you asked them to drop it until you were ready to talk about it. Ellie even checked in, urging you to kick Joel’s ass if he was the one to hurt your feelings.

Of the crew you interacted with most, Jake was the only who treated you as he normally would – flirting, teasing, and generally acting like a dude without a care in the world. Oh, how you wished you could emulate that. You found yourself sticking to Jake’s side enjoying the complete lack of pressure from him and hoping some of his attitude and mindset rubbed off on you.

Wrapped up in dealing with your own misery, you didn’t notice Joel’s watchful eyes on you, his heart and resolve shattering with each hesitant smile drawn from your lips by Jake. He had every intention of seeking you out first thing after he woke up, to apologize and begin the process of making things right. As the saying went, the road to hell was paved with good intentions. One brief glance at you in the crew mess, eyes red and puffy, shoulders hunched self-consciously, and he caved to every excuse his mind came up with to give you more time.

Once again, he was distracted by thoughts of you – you were so deep in his head and heart at this point – and before Joel knew it, the guests arrived. An entourage of rich, single men in their forties, it was bound to be a busy, rowdy charter. And a part of him worried for you and the attention you’d likely to get from these guests.

Fuck, he just couldn’t get his mind off of you. You were everywhere, in every facet of his life now. There was no escaping you and that was the problem. He didn’t want to escape you, but you avoided him at every turn during the next few days, making the current situation that much more unbearable and impossible to resolve.

On the fourth day of the charter, it finally came to a head.

You and Jake were loading the kayaks before the sun went down, Jake chatting away to keep your spirits up. He made you laugh about something completely stupid and, distracted, you tripped over one of the lines. The fall happened in slow motion, Jake calling out to you in shock, the kayak slipping from your grip, your hands reaching out to break your fall. Even in slow motion, it was not enough to prevent your head from bouncing off the deck, the strike rattling your brain.

“Oh shit!” Tommy shouted, having turned from his own task at Jake’s yell. At your side in a flash, he held you still, calling the captain over the radio as he prevented you from trying to get up. He eyed you worriedly as your big eyes rolled around in your head. “Don’t move, Brit. That was a good knock to the head, we’re gonna need to get you checked out.”

Black circles ringed the edges of your vision as you tried to focus on Tommy’s face, but instead of focusing, the circles closed in until everything went black.

tbc

#joel miller #joel x reader #joel x female reader #yacht captain!joel miller #tlou #the last of us #pedro pascal #fanfic #fanfiction #joel miller x female reader #joel miller smut #joel miller series #joel miller story #pedrostories

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jungkook97 · 10 months

Text

severed;; jjk

pairing: non-idol normie!jungkook x reader

word count: 7.7k

rating: teens & up!

genre/warnings: sci-fi, romance, drama, comedy, angst, strangers to established relationship!lovers to strangers again, soulmates au, post-college au

summary: you and jungkook had a terrible breakup. and so, you two decided to delete each other from your guys' memories.

notes: have y'all ever seen eternal sunshine of the spotless mind? severance? that's it. that's the plot, but if jungkook was in it!!

“Isn’t it diabolical to delete him from your brain?”

You shrugged, taking another chug of alcohol.

"Not if he does it first."

“Do you remember him?”

You scratched your head in confusion, not understanding the question.

“Do you remember him?” the person in the lab coat asked again.

You tilted your head once more, your brain was all muddled. There wasn’t anybody else but you and the person, and it was starting to creep you out a bit as to how cold everything was.

“Who?”

The nurse wrote down a few scribbles on her notepad.

“Success. You may proceed to the rest area now.”

You squinted your eyes as you looked down, staring at the package on your lap. It was a small box with a ribbon on it with the words, “Open when ready” card on top of it. You lifted up the card, flipping it to see the words, “THANK YOU FOR DELETING WITH US - LUMON” in the back.

Ah. It seems like I’ve deleted something from my memory.

You relaxed a bit, sighing as you got up from your seat. You remembered you had an appointment today for the procedure, but you couldn’t remember for who and for what. Probably for good reason, you hoped.

The procedure, you were told, was pretty painless. It took about a month to scan through your memories, trying to discard what is good and what’s bad, put in a floppy disk, and then delete all of it, emotions and all. You’d figured that it was a pretty painful thing, maybe some childhood trauma, a bad breakup, or a car accident…who knows.

Well, it was on the floppy disk, whatever it was. And until you were ready to look at it (in which you don’t intend to at the moment), you wouldn’t know.

And so you walked out of the cold and white doctor’s room into a softer-lit, all-green resting area. The plush couches were pressed up against the walls as you see other clients taking a rest, texting their friends and family about the procedure they had just done too.

You took a gaze at the clock: 4:32.

Looking down on the box, you could see a time written in the top corner of the card.

12:01. You’d been here for four hours.

“Did it hurt?” someone asked. You turned around, seeing a pretty attractive young man around the same age as you. He was smiling of course, elated probably that severance helped him. You wondered what his reason was, although you weren’t terribly curious either. It was none of your business.

“No, actually,” you replied nonchalantly, checking your phone. Dead, it appeared. You sighed. “You got a charger on you? Need to text my friend.”

The blonde nodded, unplugging his phone to give the cord to you.

“Battery’s full.”

You thanked him, plugging the phone in to juice it up. As the phone lit up and showed itself to be charging, the man continued asking.

“Do you remember why you're here?” he inquired. “This is my first time doing severance, and I’m worried about the after effects, you know.” He leaned into you a bit closer, whispering, “I heard the last guy who was in here puked the moment he saw his floppy disk inscription. Maybe his body remembered or something.”

You blinked, pouting. That sounded rather extreme. Surely, you’ve heard that severance doesn’t work for everyone, particularly with people who have extreme and prolonged trauma that one can’t entangle and delete easily, but throwing up after seeing the disk? You weren’t so sure about that.

“I think that’s just a rumor honestly,” you reassured the man, who was caressing his floppy disk with a lot of care. “What’s yours say?”

“Hm…” he pulled it closer to his eyes, reading it. “‘kth_2021-22.zip.’ Sounds like an ex or something. Three letters always mean ‘ex’ from what I hear.”

“God, I’m so sorry,” you patted him on the shoulder. “Breakups are the worst. Hope it’s for the best.”

The guy sighed, lifting up his jacket after it slid down his shoulders. “It’s whatever. I’m sure it was the best for me. Maybe it was a one-sided love. I hear that happens a lot.”

You found yourself agreeing with him. Although you weren’t exactly sure or really ready to look at whatever it was that got you to the Lumon office, you also felt relieved. Weirdly nervous, but very relieved. As if a big weight has been off of your shoulders, and you could take on the world.

You weren’t sure why you felt that way. Maybe it was your body remembering.

“Anyway, I think I’m gonna head out. Name’s Jimin, by the way. We should get a coffee sometime, maybe track our progress together.” He waved goodbye to you before standing up.

Gesturing for his cord back, you unplugged your phone, grabbing the cable for him. He slipped a little piece of paper in between your fingers. His number presumably.

“Oh, okay,” you replied, shaking his head with it before he lightly laughed, walking out of the resting room and into what seemed like the regular cityscape. You slunk back into the chair, the box with the supposed floppy disk in your hands. Curious, you slid it open, trying to see what your severed appointment was about.

“jjk_2020-22.zip.”

Great. An ex.

“You know what, I’m gonna do it. I’m going to fucking do it!”

You were drunk. And high. Drunk and high at the same time. It has barely been twenty four hours since you found out Jungkook deleted you from his memories and the pain was not letting up. You had been crying to the point of throwing up at this point, and it was not looking pretty.

Sure, you were a bad girlfriend (allegedly, anyways), but to the point of severance? Jungkook promised when you two started getting serious that he would never do such a thing. He loved you, he said. He loved you too much to do such an experimental procedure like that.

What a load of bullshit.

“Dude. You cannot be serious!” Namjoon exclaimed, shook to the core. He attempted to take the alcohol bottle away from you, but to no avail. “You know severance is permanent, right?”

“Yeah, and what about it?” you hiccuped, sliding your hands through the photos of the two together. That awful bastard, you thought. How can this motherfucker be laughing or smiling at all of these photos? It was jeering at you really, like some sick joke. “He had the audacity to break up with me and delete me from his memories? Oh, now he’s gonna be deleted too, FUCK him.”

Namjoon sighed.

“Isn’t it diabolical to delete him from your brain?”

You shrugged, taking another chug of alcohol.

“Not if he did it first.”

Your booksmart friend didn’t have much of a retort after that.

“W-well, didn’t you hear about the side effects? What if you forget about me?”

You chuckled, swinging the glass around in the air.

“You’re not gonna be forgotten, Kim Namjoon. You’re my best friend, for fuck’s sake.”

“W-well, I introduced you to him.”

You swallowed.

“You’re right. You’re gonna be forgotten too, Kim Namjoon.” You gestured wildly in a big circle. “We’re all gonna be forgotten! Severed! Deleted! Vanished!”

Your abnormally tall friend looked at you in disbelief. After all, you were kidding about deleting your best friend from your memories, but he was not amused at all by the possibility of you deleting Jungkook too. Namjoon had desperately tried to get Jungkook to stop the procedure which kept him at bay until one night he impulsively booked the appointment and went to do it without Namjoon knowing. It was terrible. After all, Namjoon had no idea that their breakup would even come, let alone be that awful to the point of severance.

Oh, he hated quarreling couples. Maybe it was best that he retired from his wingman occupation and went back to actually dating people. Not that it would be a joy. He was after all, this close to doing the procedure himself on a situationship he had, only to chicken out.

“She has more balls than I do,” he sighed to himself as your eyes slowly began to close and yawned repeatedly.

“I’ll delete you…Jungkook…”

It had been a week passed since you had done the procedure, and to your surprise, there wasn’t much of a fuss. Surely, your friend Namjoon seemed upset that you did it, but due to the potential complications, he had to sign a nondisclosure to not speak of the ex–er, subject that was deleted from your memory.

“I mean, you can always look back on the disk if you want,” Namjoon egged on in the middle of your guys’ brunch. “People who do it can choose to keep the disk to look back at it without the emotional attachment. I’m guessing the non-severed you wanted to cherish some memories with it.”

“Maybe,” you pondered, swirling the straw in your cup in circles, looking at a distance. There was a pit of emptiness that you couldn’t help but to feel, in which you have already brought up with the exit team. Normal symptoms, they said. It’ll take a few weeks before you’re back to normal, they said.

You thought about what your new friend Jimin had said over lunch a few days ago. Your body still remembered the events that happened from time to time, but the emotional parts of it were voided from your mind and plopped on a disk to view from a third-person perspective.

It was a scary concept turned into reality, but you weren’t entirely creeped out by it. At this point, it was fun guessing what the topic was. So far, you were able to figure out it was a breakup of sorts, but not sure with who. After all, there are 8 billion people on this planet.

“You do seem happier though,” Namjoon remarked, sipping a bit of his latte. “Like much happier. The thing…” he said carefully, dragging the second word out, “...the thing definitely held you back. The thing…uh…” he gestured in attempts to articulate further. “Ah…I don’t know how to not talk about this without mentioning–”

“Hyung!”

You glanced up, eyes directly meeting with big doe eyes. It was a young man who had a cool effortless style to him, wearing a basic white Calvin Klein tee and sweatpants, followed by a yellow Supreme hoodie. He had a full sleeve and a couple of lip piercings to boot. He was cute, but definitely was not your type.

“J-jungkook!” he stuttered, sitting up rather abruptly as he nearly knocked down his chair. You laughed, waving the air to get him to stand up.

“Please, you’re embarrassing your friend,” you retorted as the guy smiled back for a quick second.

“I’m used to Namjoon-hyung being that way. He’s our clumsy little tall friend. Huh, Hyung?”

“Ay, stop teasing me like that,” he said hastily. Namjoon took a quick glance at the both of you, clearing his throat. He seemed weirdly nervous all of a sudden, as if he was caught cheating with his side chick. “Uh…this is Jungkook. Jungkook, this is one of my college friends…”

You extended your hand out to say hello as Namjoon continued to give a whole background of how you guys met, but you were met with a blank stare, almost as if the guy was embarrassed to talk to you. There was an awkward silence between you two, and you figured to try to say something, but there was something rather dead and cold behind Jungkook’s eyes that you felt rather uncomfortable by. You grimaced, rescinding the handshake back.

What’s up with this kid? Why is he staring at me like that?

You also felt that empty feeling again, as if something was terribly missing. It was a lot, but you thought nothing of it. It seemed like it happened rather randomly and in little bursts.

“...anyway, nice to see you, little one. I need to go to my appointment, so we’ll see each other soon, yeah?”

Jungkook snapped out of the daze to nod at his broad-shouldered friend.

“Yeah. See you,” he said before waving goodbye, turning swiftly around and leaving the scene as quickly as he appeared. You frowned as you watched the kid walked away briskly, only to be met with Namjoon’s nervous expression.

“What?”

“What what?”

You sighed.

“Never mind. You’re being weird today.”

“He just stared at you? Did he know you or anything?”

“No…?” you answered with a questioning tone, sipping some more wine. It was pouring outside and you decided to have a few drinks with Jimin at his place. It turned out he was extremely and terribly gay, and definitely was not trying to hit on you when he slipped that number in your fingers. Thank God, you sighed. At least, he wasn’t going to take advantage of the fact that you maybe had an ex and try to be your rebound. Surely, you had enough rebounds in your life as it is.

“Suspicious indeed,” Jimin squinted his eyes, sipping a bit of his newly concocted cocktail. “Ah, I thought about watching the footage on the disk back this week, but someone had told me not to.”

“Why?” you leaned in closer, staring at Jimin’s disk perched on top of the coffee table. “You think you’re gonna see some bad shit on there?”

“Nah,” he remarked, leaning back on the couch and gathering his legs up to his chin. “Someone told me that they threw up after they watched everything on the disk. Like, for 10 minutes straight or something.”

“What’s with you and throwing up?” you laughed, hitting him playfully. He hit back, giggling.

“I don’t know. At this point, I think people are just lying to me.”

“Yeah, probably!”

As Jimin gathered the glasses together to start cleaning up, you drifted off for a second. What if you’re ready to see the contents of the tape? Was it safe to see what’s on it for you? What was so awful that you chose to delete this person from your memories and detach yourself like that? You wondered how much you loved this person, how much you wanted this person to be a part of your life forever…what were the possibilities? There were so many?

One thing was for sure though. You were ready to watch the tape tonight.

And so you did.

As you plopped the disk into the hard drive of your desktop CPU, it booted up, showing the LUMON logo. As the screen loaded in front of you, you tapped your fingers nervously on the keyboard, wondering what you were going to unpack.

A virtual set of eyes popped up and opened its eyelids, finished with a pair of lips. Then, a female voice greeted you.

["𝘏𝘌𝘓𝘓𝘖, 𝘐 𝘈𝘔 𝘠𝘖𝘜𝘙 𝘝𝘐𝘙𝘛𝘜𝘈𝘓 𝘔𝘌𝘔𝘖𝘙𝘠 𝘒𝘌𝘌𝘗𝘌𝘙, 𝘓𝘠𝘓𝘈. 𝘠𝘖𝘜 𝘈𝘙𝘌 𝘈𝘊𝘊𝘌𝘚𝘚𝘐𝘕𝘎 𝘍𝘐𝘓𝘌: 𝘑-𝘑-𝘒, 𝘜𝘕𝘋𝘌𝘙𝘚𝘊𝘖𝘙𝘌, 𝘛𝘞𝘌𝘕𝘛𝘠 𝘛𝘞𝘌𝘕𝘛𝘠, 𝘋𝘈𝘚𝘏, 𝘛𝘞𝘌𝘕𝘛𝘠 𝘛𝘞𝘌𝘕𝘛𝘠-𝘛𝘞𝘖. 𝘞𝘏𝘈𝘛 𝘞𝘖𝘜𝘓𝘋 𝘠𝘖𝘜 𝘓𝘐𝘒𝘌 𝘛𝘖 𝘚𝘌𝘌?"]

A folder appeared on the screen before it opened itself up to show a multitude of videos, seemingly time stamped in the course of the past two years. You tilted your head in amazement, scrolling through all the different files and seeing one person you had seen just earlier in the week present in all the videos.

“It’s that kid. Jung…shit, what was his fucking name?”

You scratched your head trying to remember, but to no avail. No wonder Namjoon seemed nervous around you when he came by.

Was this guy your ex? A friend? What did he do to you?

You had a sinking feeling as to what it could be, only to be comforted in not seeing any sexual misconduct or assault warnings on the side of the videos. You sighed in relief, leaning back against your office chair.

Where do you even start?

That empty feeling came up again, this time stronger than before. It felt really uncomfortable, something that you wanted to go away.

Now, it was starting to make sense. The empty feelings were probably what was missing, what this person, whoever it is, is going to provide answers for.

“There was a guy it seems,” you began replying back to Lyla. “Apparently he meant the world to me based on some of these previews. I can’t seem…I can’t seem to remember him, Lyla.”

A moment of silence.

["𝘐'𝘔 𝘚𝘖𝘙𝘙𝘠, 𝘐 𝘊𝘈𝘕𝘕𝘖𝘛 𝘈𝘊𝘊𝘌𝘚𝘚 𝘛𝘖 𝘙𝘌𝘊𝘓𝘈𝘐𝘔 𝘠𝘖𝘜𝘙 𝘔𝘌𝘔𝘖𝘙𝘐𝘌𝘚."]

“Uh, I’m not asking…” you swore under your breath before proceeding. “Um. Not trying to remember. Just…I weirdly…have this empty feeling right now. Just wanna know if this is related to this person perhaps.”

Silence. Longer than usual.

["𝘞𝘖𝘜𝘓𝘋 𝘠𝘖𝘜 𝘓𝘐𝘒𝘌 𝘛𝘖 𝘝𝘐𝘌𝘞 𝘍𝘐𝘓𝘌, 𝘑-𝘑-𝘒, 𝘜𝘕𝘋𝘌𝘙𝘚𝘊𝘖𝘙𝘌, 𝘛𝘞𝘌𝘕𝘛𝘠 𝘛𝘞𝘌𝘕𝘛𝘠 𝘋𝘈𝘚𝘏, 𝘛𝘞𝘌𝘕𝘛𝘠 𝘛𝘞𝘌𝘕𝘛𝘠-𝘛𝘞𝘖 𝘍𝘙𝘖𝘔 𝘛𝘏𝘌 𝘝𝘌𝘙𝘠 𝘉𝘌𝘎𝘐𝘕𝘕𝘐𝘕𝘎?"]

Should I? What’s the worst that could happen?

“Yes.”

["𝘼𝘾𝘾𝙀𝙎𝙎𝙄𝙉𝙂 𝙁𝙄𝙇𝙀 𝙊𝙉𝙀."]

The screen turned to black.

It was you and Namjoon sitting at a restaurant booth, waiting for someone. It was late 2020 as the snow engulfed the streets of Seoul and people were hurriedly trying to get out of work since it was the end of day. You sat there seemingly nervous, pondering about something that you cannot recall what it was.

“Are you sure about this guy?” you inquired.

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure. He’s one of my good friends actually,” Namjoon grinned. His eyes met somebody as he gestured them over. “There he is! Jungkook!”

You peered through your shoulder to see a young man and to your shock, it was the guy who you had met earlier who was gawking at you in the weirdest way.

Pausing the video, you sat back in your chair, wondering what this encounter was. Was Namjoon introducing you to a friend as a date? You swore this guy Jungkook wasn’t your type. You preferred guys who were more clean cut, academic looking and well, not have tattoos.

Maybe Namjoon saw something in this kid that you didn’t see before. Who even knows besides continuing on watching the tape.

“Ah, we’ve met before!” you exclaimed. You stood up, giving Jungkook a warm embrace. “We met at the show that Yoongi had, yeah?”

“Yeah,” he replied, smiling back. “Namjoon talked a lot about you right after the show to me. It seemed like he was the one who was interested in you rather than trying to pitch a date, haha.”

“He does that,” you smiled awkwardly, extending your hand out to have him sit down. “Let’s eat, yeah?”

And so the conversation went on as you continued to watch the tape intently, getting a notebook to write some notes down. It turned out Jungkook was a friend of Yoongi’s, graduated from a state university back in the States and worked for some finance consulting firm nearby. You were surprised, of course, considering that the kid had a very visible sleeve tattoo alongside finger tattoos to boot. You couldn’t take the guy seriously despite the fact that he fits your profile now. After all, he must’ve charmed his way into your heart for you to have spent 2 years with the guy.

“So what do you do for a living?” Jungkook asked as he volunteered to flip the meats over to cook. You covered your mouth to swallow (a movement that you looking in retrospect gagged at, knowing that you were trying to look girly and proper in front of the guy) before answering,

“I’m a marketing director at an entertainment company,” you replied, grabbing some more seasoned bean sprouts to your plate. “I can’t say who I work for though, people would freak out.”

“Really?” he chuckled. The sound of it was impeccably attractive to you, you admit to yourself. “And why is that?”

“Because my main account is a girl group who every guy is obsessed with. Or rather, just that one singular member.”

He lifted up an eyebrow.

“Oh? I don’t think I’d be weird about it if you tell me.”

“Dude trust me, she doesn’t lie,” Namjoon joked, taking a sip of his soju. “When she told me she was working for Wonyoung’s group, I was sure that none of our boys knew so they didn't bother her for the girls’ numbers.”

“Namjoon,” you emphasized as he opened his mouth in shock, covering his mouth.

“I’m sorry!” he hastily replied, putting his hands up in defeat. “I swear–”

“No, that was on purpose!” you retorted back, throwing some seasoned spinach his way. The both of you laughed as Jungkook nervously laughed back, unsure if it was a joke or not.

“Aren’t they really young though?” Jungkook remarked, putting some cooked meat onto everyone’s plates. “Like, one of them is sixteen or something, no?”

“Eh, men are men,” you replied dryly, thanking him quietly as he passed some samgyeopsal over to you. “And men are pigs. I’ve told them this and they still don’t give a shit. Especially when it comes to little Wonyo. Everyone throws logic out of the window when I talk about her.”

“‘Wonyo’…” Jungkook’s voice trailed off. “I’m guessing you’re close to Wonyoung to call her that?”

“Yeah. You obsessed with her too?” you asked plainly.

It was a test, you could tell in hindsight. You were the type to test men out to see they weren’t creeps every single time. Namjoon hated it (“You’re starting up shit for no reason!” he would say), but as a strong independent feminist yourself, you always had to make sure that some guy you were interested in wasn’t a predatory weirdo.

“Nah,” Jungkook answered just as matter-of-factly, stuffing his cheeks with meat. “I don’t like barely legal girls.” His cheeks began to flush a faint tint of pink. “Actually, I’m more into older women.”

You choked on some mashed potatoes.

“Jesus,” you paused the video, hands covering your face. You couldn’t help but to flush as well at how incredibly cute that was. Surely, you were always into older men, but younger men lately have had a death grip on you.

You can see your old self blushing too. Ah, that was what got you to be interested, you thought. You were so predictable.

There were more conversations here and there, and you could tell over time, Jungkook felt more and more confident, extending his shoulder blades to make him look bigger than he actually was, cooking the meat a bit more aggressively and not stopping once to compliment you in some way or another. He was being outwardly flirtatious, something that you, as a Libra-dominant person, enjoyed quite a bit. You couldn’t help but feel the butterflies in your stomach flutter every time he said something wildly flirty, you would coil back in your chair out of embarrassment. He was totally your type, and it was crazy how deeply charismatic he was.

“So, when am I going to see you again, my dear?” he asked as he held the door for you. You could see Namjoon’s eyeballs roll to the back of his head as the old you continued to be flustered by how directly forward this kid was.

“How about tomorrow, you little flirt?” you teased back, pulling him into a hug. Jungkook put his arms around your waist quite immediately, his nose scrunched up in embarrassment as he was doing this in front of his good friend.

“You guys are disgusting,” Namjoon muttered loud enough for you two to hear. “What am I getting myself into with y’all being a thing…”

You leaned in closer as you could see your old self’s sparkling eyes looking into Jungkook’s. His big caramel eyes were looking back at you as well with his smile getting so big that you couldn’t help but smile too. Even though you two were getting to know each other, you could tell this was the start of something really great, although, with the fate of what happened, you wondered why this seemingly good relationship was now on a floppy disk and not in your brain.

What happened, you thought to yourself. Did Jungkook break your heart that bad for you to forget him this way? Your heart sank at the thought of it. Surely, the answers would reveal itself as the tapes go on, but somehow, you were scared to watch the rest of it.

[“𝙀𝙉𝘿 𝙊𝙁 𝙁𝙄𝙇𝙀 𝙊𝙉𝙀. 𝙉𝙊𝙒 𝘼𝘾𝘾𝙀𝙎𝙎𝙄𝙉𝙂, 𝙁𝙄𝙇𝙀 𝙏𝙒𝙊."]

It was a routine every night to watch a few videos from the disk. It was like binging on a new show you fell in love with, except this time, you were falling in love with this Jungkook from your computer screen.

At some point during the viewing, you found yourself pausing every few seconds, usually having to stomach what had just happened. You two were impeccably adorable, going on weekly dates the moment after the brunch ended. Jungkook was full of surprises, taking you on amusement park dates. He made you get on the biggest rollercoaster in the park, and you cried the entire time because you hated rollercoasters. You, on the other hand, took him to art museums and jazz concerts, something he always found boring. As his feet tapped in anxiousness and boredom, you would relieve your boyfriend from it by promising to get frisky in the bathrooms later on in the night, only to be blue-balled because you became hyperfixated on the topic at hand, talking about it for hours after the date was over.

In fact, you two also did a lot of fucking in the beginning, a lot. It was interesting at first as you were mostly vanilla, but as time went on, Jungkook did things to you that you never thought could happen to your petite little body. It was exhilarating to watch and also fascinating.

But also, there were arguments here and there. Jungkook was younger by a bit than you after all, and he was deeply, utterly insecure.

[“𝘼𝘾𝘾𝙀𝙎𝙎𝙄𝙉𝙂, 𝙁𝙄𝙇𝙀. 𝙏𝙒𝙊 𝙃𝙐𝙉𝘿𝙍𝙀𝘿 𝘼𝙉𝘿 𝙁𝙄𝙁𝙏𝙔-𝙏𝙒𝙊.”]

Jungkook slammed the door behind him, creating a bit of a scene in your apartment. You sighed, still cooking dinner for the both of you.

“Who was that on your story?” he immediately inquired as he slipped off his shoes. You knew where this was about to go. From the last episode, Jungkook found out you were still talking to your ex-now-turned-friend, Sam. Sam was an international student turned graduate who you spent all of college dating. Despite the fact that you guys were deeply compatible, you two ended up breaking up over the lack of time together, but nonetheless, you two enjoyed each other’s company.

“Sam,” you sighed, setting the bowls together. “And yes, it’s that Sam.”

You gestured Jungkook to sit down, but he was heated, hands on his hips. With his tongue sticking out from his cheek, he started pacing back and forth, a sign of agitation.

“Why did you see him? You still got feelings?”

“Jungkook,” you said sternly.

You shook your head and snorted, chewing on the bulgogi you just made. If there was anything you knew about Jungkook at this point, it was the fact that he was a deeply jealous little guy, constantly feeling like he had to compete for your attention. Surely in the beginning, he charmed his way into your pants it seemed, but things have been different since then. You two had gotten used to each other’s presence as you could tell, and Jungkook’s flirty antics were no longer getting the old you flustered.

“Is that not a fair question to ask?” he shot back, crossing his arms. “You did say that you’re the type to always get into situationships.”

“That was the old me,” you rebutted, setting some side dishes on the kitchen island. “Now can you please sit? The food is getting cold.”

Jungkook frowned, widening his stance while staring at you dead in the eye.

“Please,” you urged, waving the food in front of you. “I really don’t wanna argue today. You’ve been on edge so much lately because of the recent restructuring and I just want it to be peaceful.”

It was true. Jungkook’s job had recently merged into a bigger conglomerate and as a result, his department had been cutting people and laying off folks for weeks now. He felt extremely nervous and unhinged for quite some time, and as a result, he has been particularly accusatory toward old you in the past several episodes.

You could see the old you pleading with your eyes, sighing as Jungkook eventually swallowed his pride and came over, sitting down next to you.

“I’m sorry,” he opened his mouth sometime later in between chews. “I’m just–”

“...stressed, I know,” you completed his sentence, giving him a piece of stir-fried pork chop. “Now eat. Your girlfriend spent a couple of hours out of her day to feed her easily jealous boyfriend.”

You smiled softly back at Jungkook, in which he smiled quietly to himself, sighing.

“I wish you were there with me every day. I wouldn’t go as crazy, you know.”

“But I can’t and you know that,” you logically explained it to him. “Have you thought–”

“...of quitting?” he scoffed, shaking his head. “No, I can’t quit now. Especially since Eunwoo got promoted. If he out of all people could get promoted before I do…”

He trailed off. You sighed.

“What did I say about caring about what Cha Eunwoo is doing?” you warned.

“Ignore him,” he answered through gritted teeth, munching on the pork chop slices you gave him. “But he’s so annoying, my love.”

“Well, my love, you need to keep ignoring him for your peace! Your peace is important to me, and you’re always getting so riled up over the smallest things.”

Jungkook grimaced a bit before pouting.

“You’re telling me that the whole Sam thing is a ‘small thing’?” he did air quotes at the last two words.

At this point, you paused the video. It was getting ridiculous at how incredibly immature Jungkook was, and you were also full from your dinner.

While it was true that Jungkook was this rebellious kid who doesn’t listen for shit and gets feisty too often, you were also the same way. It was a shock how you two were compatible considering that you believed in opposites attract, but at the same time, it made all the sense. Jungkook was a mirror to you, and it was incredible how intoxicating the relationship has been. You felt a pit in your stomach in where this could go, and frankly, you weren’t looking forward to seeing it.

[𝘼𝘾𝘾𝙀𝙎𝙎𝙄𝙉𝙂 𝙁𝙄𝙇𝙀 𝙏𝙃𝙍𝙀𝙀 𝙃𝙐𝙉𝘿𝙍𝙀𝘿 𝘼𝙉𝘿 𝙎𝙀𝙑𝙀𝙉𝙏𝙔-𝙁𝙄𝙑𝙀.]

You two were at a wedding. Jin’s wedding to be exact.

It was a lively affair, filled with friends that you grew to know over the course of a few weeks. Seokjin was the oldest in your little quartet of friends who finally proposed to his sweetheart of five years (in which she already knew way in advance because Seokjin was terrible when it comes to keeping secrets). Namjoon had finished singing some cheesy English-only number he wrote specifically for the couple, drunkenly crying after as he toasted for the newly wedded.

You were sitting with your now 2-years-older boyfriend as he goofily danced with his guitarist friend Yoongi, who was too shy to show some of his moves. He took it seriously though, doing parts of a choreography of a song he composed for Jaesang with some chic flair. The man had made good money by producing a lot of amazing beats for the industry, but this was nothing compared to how much Jungkook teased him for it.

As the song came to an end, Seokjin grabbed the mic from the DJ as audio feedback irritated everyone’s ears. He was incredibly drunk, and his new wife was urging him to sit down and drink some water to no avail.

“Ah ah, let me SING!” he protested, making his wife sit down as he continued to hiccup his way through it all. “I am the best singer on the planet, let’s goooooo~!”

The DJ soon played a slower song with Seokjin singing a half a second too late, only to start over again. Everyone was laughing, charmed by the barely married man feeling confident to sing in front of his beloved friends and family.

“You know, he isn’t bad,” Yoongi piped up as everyone began to bring out their phones to record with him doing the same. “I would love him to be in the studio with me and record something.”

“You’re scouting people now, Yoongi?” you giggled as Yoongi chuckled back, smacking his lips.

“I gotta keep my bag flowing,” he sheepishly replied.

The both of you continued to have a good laugh as Jungkook swung by in his sleek black and grey checkered Louis Vuitton suit, wrapping his arms around you.

“Babe, let’s slow dance,” he whined. “We haven’t danced together all night and we look hot together.”

“Jungkook,” you pleaded, pointing at your injured ankle. “Ankle. Sprained. Cannot dance very well.”

“I’ll carry you,” Jungkook reassured you, starting to pull you onto the dance floor. “Come on, let’s dance under the disco ball and make out. Please?”

“We’re already halfway there,” you grumbled, turning your pout into a smile. He was cheekily smiling from ear-to-ear at your approval and pulled you right in the middle of the dance floor, supporting your whole body to ensure that your sprain wouldn’t get worse.

It was a beautiful sight, and as the lights slowly dimmed for Seokjin’s impressive high notes, it looked like you two were deeply in love with each other, that happiest that you seemed to have ever been. Surely, you had a few boyfriends that made you feel something, but genuine happiness? You haven’t seen yourself smile like that in a long time. It was a core memory for sure, a core memory you wished you remembered for the life of you, but cannot.

All you could do was continue watching the tape with absolutely no control of what was to happen next. It was a rollercoaster, similar to the one that you were terribly afraid of to go on. On some days, it felt like you two were a perfect match, while other days, it felt like there was no way to understand each other. It was hot and cold, fiery and icy. Sometimes you felt like you could connect to this Jungkook, only to realize that it doesn’t matter. Fate had other plans and you two are no longer together, not knowing that this history happened.

You wondered if Jungkook now had deleted your memories of you. Namjoon didn’t want to reveal much. After all, he’s still tied under the NDA to not speak about you two because you guys weren’t supposed to know each other. You wondered if Jungkook didn’t delete you, if he missed you the way you strangely and unexplainably missed him. After all, how can you miss someone you never met? You were unsure, but you definitely felt it.

As the star of the night sings the closing notes, the two of you had your foreheads against each other, staring into each other's eyes. You couldn’t help but to feel emotional from seeing it, shedding a tear as you paused for a moment to take it in.

You fell in love with Jungkook. It wasn’t even funny anymore, you had successfully fallen in love with someone you loved and decided to forget. You couldn’t help but to feel pissed at your old self. Like, why did you do it? Why did you choose to delete him from your memory? Was it out of spite? Out of anger? What was it?

It was killing you inside, and you continued to replay the moment over and over again, seeing the happiness in both of your guys’ eyes.

“I love you,” Jungkook finally whispered. His eyes were closed now, shaking a bit out of nervousness probably.

“I love you too,” you said back immediately. “I love you so much more.”

“I love you the most,” he pressed, trying to end it.

The both of you laughed before sharing a sweet kiss together.

“Guys, let’s gather together! Bouquet throwing time!”

All the girls began to scream as the two of you parted lips. He opened his eyes to peer over your shoulder, turning you around and pushing you lightly toward the growing crowd of women.

“Go, go, go!” he urged.

And so you walked over there through the crowd carefully, making sure you weren’t putting so much pressure on the injured ankle. Eventually, you were in the back as Seokjin’s wife slowly began to rock her bouquet front and back before turning around to get ready.

“Okay, let’s…go!”

The bouquet was thrown up in the air and as everyone swarmed each other to block their way, it ended up landing in…

…your hands.

Everyone cheered on for you as you giddily yelled at the top of your lungs, ecstatic. You turned around to try to find Jungkook in the crowd, only seeing him beaming at you. You held the bouquet up and then…

…smile vanished.

“What?”

You paused the video. You wouldn't believe it. And so, you watched it again.

And again.

He did indeed turn stone-faced at the moment you pulled up the bride’s bouquet. It wasn’t a sneer. It wasn’t a frown. Just. Nothing.

“What the fuck…” you said out loud, slinking back into the couch. You unpaused the video and the scene continued.

Your smile faded at the sight of it, in which you made the same face as him, throwing the bouquet down. Jungkook, upon seeing you, turned around hastily, smacking his lips together to sit back down on his seat. You went back to your seat as well, not looking at him.

Shit. This is where it goes to shit, huh.

["𝘼𝘾𝘾𝙀𝙎𝙎𝙄𝙉𝙂. 𝙁𝙄𝙇𝙀 𝙏𝙃𝙍𝙀𝙀 𝙃𝙐𝙉𝘿𝙍𝙀𝘿 𝘼𝙉𝘿 𝙎𝙀𝙑𝙀𝙉𝙏𝙔 𝙎𝙄𝙓."]

The car ride home was quiet. Too quiet.

At this point, you were seething from the tape. It didn’t help that you two ignored each other for the whole night, after exchanging some “I love yous” before this bouquet incident unfolded. No one was saying anything, and it was pissing you off.

“Is someone going to say something?” you muttered under your breath, pressing the fast forward button a bit to see if things changed.

Then, a single sentence came out of Jungkook’s mouth.

“About earlier…I didn’t mean that.”

“Mean what?” you shot back, sitting up from your seat. “You literally told me to go catch the bouquet and then when I did, you made this face like…like…you don’t want to marry me or something.”

“No, that’s not what I was thinking,” Jungkook rebutted, his hands gripping on the steering wheel tighter. “I was just…taken aback, that’s all.”

“Why?”

Yeah. Why?

“Why…” he repeated to himself, trailing off. “I don’t know, my face just reacted. I don’t know what I was thinking, okay?”

“Oh really. And I’m supposed to believe you?”

“Sweetheart, can we please not argue tonight? I had a lot of fun, and it’s been a while since–”

“Oh, it’s been a while?” you interrupted, scoffing. “Oh, it’s been a while since I wasn’t a killjoy, is that it?”

You could tell Jungkook was starting to tense up, gritting his teeth.

“Yes, maybe that was it. Because, I don’t know, you have been on my ass lately about not finding a job, and you don’t pick up after yourself.”

“What? What the fuck?” you laughed bitterly as the two of you pulled up at your place. “What the actual fuck? You don’t even live with me!”

“I don’t, but I sure stayed at your house long enough to know that you’re pretty fucking gross when we’re not together. And maybe, I don’t want to move in seeing all of that, I don’t know.”

“Oh, we’re just speaking our feelings now? Clearing the air?” you shook your head in disbelief. “Well, you’re not really the most pleasant person to be sleeping next to. Have you ever thought about going to sleep at a regular time instead of playing your video games until 5 AM?”

“I have insomnia, my love,” Jungkook refuted. “You told me you weren’t a light sleeper.”

“I’m a pretty heavy sleeper. You,” you pointed right at him. “You are just loud!”

“Well, it’s not like you gave a fuck up until this point, haven’t you? You just care now because I fucking made a face at the wedding.”

“Yes, maybe that’s the case but…maybe, maybe, your little face was a sign.”

“A sign of what?”

“That we’re not going to be endgame, Jungkook.”

You were breathing hard at that point, and same with the present you. The two of you looked at each other blankly as Jungkook’s voice shook in anger.

“What the fuck are you trying to say?”

“I’m saying…” your voice quivered a bit. “I’m saying, if we can’t seem to stand each other’s habits, maybe we should break up.”

Boom. There it was.

“What?” Jungkook scoffed, licking his lips. “You’re going to break up with me after I fucking told you I love you the most?”

“You don’t,” you pressed. “If you do, you wouldn’t constantly be so insecure about Sam or any of my old exes. I shower you with endless amounts of approval every day, trying to make you feel a bit better about yourself, and you just don’t care. You pull me in with all the lovebombing, telling me we’re perfect for each other, and then you pull some shit like all of it is nothing.`

Jungkook was silent. You stared back at him, tears welling up in your eyes.

“I don’t know…I don’t know if I want to continue doing this. It’s been two years since we’ve dated and I feel like every day, I don’t know who I’m going to get next. It feels like you’re just here to only want me when you’re happy and don’t when you’re not happy. Like, what is the point of all of this?”

“‘What’s the point…’” he repeated, only to stop from there. Putting his face in his hands, he sighed deeply. “Maybe you’re fucking right. Maybe I really don’t know what the hell I want in this relationship. We fight so much and it’s so volatile. I don’t know why, I just…I always feel like I have to argue because sometimes, my dear, I cannot stand you when we do. Like, you don’t understand how I feel, how much I need to be consoled that I’m the only one–”

“YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE, JUNGKOOK,” you yelled, your hands shaking. “I keep telling you this and you don’t FUCKING believe me!”

“Then, why are you still having lunch with Sam?”

“Because we’re close friends!”

“And I’m not to you? My feelings don’t fucking matter, does it?”

“It does, it’s just–FUCK.”

You broke down into sobs as Jungkook hit the steering wheel, crying as well. In fact, that was all you two did for a bit.

“I’m going to go,” you said after a while, sniffling as you grabbed your purse. “I don’t know if we’re going to be okay after this–”

“We’re not,” Jungkook said with finality. “Let’s do it. Let’s break up.”

You turned over to him, looking at him straight in the eye. He was dead serious.

“Fine.”

You opened the door, got out, and closed the door shut behind. Jungkook put the car into drive, and drove off almost immediately.

[“𝘌𝘕𝘋 𝘖𝘍 𝘍𝘐𝘓𝘌 𝘛𝘏𝘙𝘌𝘌 𝘏𝘜𝘕𝘋𝘙𝘌𝘋 𝘈𝘕𝘋 𝘚𝘌𝘝𝘌𝘕𝘛𝘠 𝘚𝘐𝘟. 𝘌𝘕𝘋 𝘖𝘍 𝘑-𝘑-𝘒, 𝘜𝘕𝘋𝘌𝘙𝘚𝘊𝘖𝘙𝘌, 𝘛𝘞𝘌𝘕𝘛𝘠 𝘛𝘞𝘌𝘕𝘛𝘠 𝘋𝘈𝘚𝘏, 𝘛𝘞𝘌𝘕𝘛𝘠 𝘛𝘞𝘌𝘕𝘛𝘠-𝘛𝘞𝘖 𝘋𝘖𝘛 𝘡𝘐𝘗.”]

And so the tape ended.

It was days, days before you could move on from the contents of the disk. You miss Jungkook more than ever before. The doctors were right about the empty feeling, it does go away.

Except, it was replaced by something else, an array of feelings you feel after watching the tapes.

And so, you went on about your days. Typical, normal days.

Then, you ran into somebody. Someone who you only saw on the tapes.

It was a nice summer day when it happened. You were running errands, trying to catch up for the week and decided to stop by your favorite coffee shop.

“Jungkook?”

The young man turned around. He was wearing all black with another colored Supreme beanie with Birkenstocks.

“____?” he replied back, although unsure. You nodded, putting your small bag of groceries behind your shoulder.

“Yeah,” you answered. “It’s me.”

A moment of silence.

“Uh, I watched the tapes…um, well. I should probably preface that I deleted you from my memories–”

“Me too.”

You stood there, frozen.

“Oh.”

So that answered your question whether he did the procedure too.

“Yeah…” Jungkook continued on. “Um, I went back to see them too and uh…” his fingers began to fidget with the bottom of his shirt. “Well, I know that I don’t necessarily remember anything or remember why I chose to severe you, I can’t help but to feel sorry. For us. For what happened. I don’t know why I feel that way, but I do.”

He was deeply remorseful, very apologetic. You couldn’t help but to feel bad, lowering your bag of groceries to the ground as Jungkook stared at them, unsure of how to really react.

“I wish I didn’t delete you,” he concluded. “I wish we were still together. Watching those tapes made me feel like I lost out on something. I don’t know why I was so insecure. I could care less if you’re friends with your exes. Maybe I’m just too immature at the time. I know a great deal of time has passed, but I want us to–”

He coughed a bit, choking on his words.

“I want us to–”

He coughed a bit more, and then…

Vomit.

“Oh my God!” you exclaimed as the crowd did the same, with a few people hastily grabbing napkins from their bags so Jungkook could clean himself up.

You stared at him agape as you remembered what Jimin had said the first day you two had met.

“You…you were the guy who threw up when you saw your disk, didn’t you?” you inquired. Jungkook, now, wiping his mouth, looked up.

“How did you know?”

Your mouth grew into a smile.

“Heard from somebody.”

Jungkook smiled as well, standing up as he straightened himself up in an attempt to try to look bigger.

“Ah, well, they say it’s a side effect or something. Your body remembers.”

“Yeah…” you trailed off, smiling back at him fondly. “Your body does remember.”

END.

#jungkook #jungkook x reader #jungkook drabble #jungkook fanfic #writing #mine #I HAD A DREAM ABOUT THIS!!!!!!! I DON'T KNOW WHY I FEEL COMPELLED TO WRITE IT AT 3 AM BUT HERE I AM!#honestly i thought this was gonna be longer but alas. whatever fdjkghak;h

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