#and his takeaway from that is that he's *right* and being put-upon by all these irrational harpies for no valid reason. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

theerurishipper · 9 months

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Coming back to one of the points I've made earlier but never really elaborated upon, what does it do for Adrien's arc to have everyone lie to him?

Adrien's arc is about finding his self-worth and his independence and learning how to be loved unconditionally. Gabriel is controlling and abusive and only gives Adrien a second's worth of attention if Adrien caters to his every whim. And so, you'd think that part of Adrien's arc is learning that people will love him for who he is without him having to bend to their desires, and that he has the right to make decisions for himself. But this new development as of the Season 5 finale is that, no, Adrien's loved ones actually don't want him to make his own choices. In fact, they would rather support and emulate his abusive father's controlling actions and deny Adrien his agency and his ability to make informed choices about his own life. They would rather dictate how he should feel and would rather decide what's best for him rather than giving him the choice to do so himself. This comes with its large set of very much unfortunate implications.

Under the cut because this is long.

This is a problem that started with Season 4, with the introduction of Ladybug's Gabriel-esque behavior towards Chat Noir, and the subsequent lack of proper resolution. In fact, the resolution was that Chat Noir was asking too much of Ladybug, and that what needed to be done to resolve this conflict of Ladybug keeping important secrets from Chat Noir and replacing him with other holders... was for Chat Noir to suck it up and continue supporting Ladybug. It was for him to put aside his legitimate concerns with her actions and to accept that he would never be treated the way he wants to be. It was for him to push down his own feelings and come to stay by her side even though she had not treated him well, and even though she never actually fixed her mistakes.

What is the importance of his relationship with Ladybug? For the first 3 seasons, at least, it was the escape from his abusive home life that Adrien needed, to someone who would accept him unconditionally. But Season 4 introduced the infamous Ladynoir conflict that permanently altered their dynamic. I've talked about how the Season 4 finale only served to reinforce the inequality between them. It begins with Ladybug keeping secrets from Chat Noir and pulling away from him, and it ends by him simply forgiving her because he is used to downplaying his own needs. And I don't feel the desire to rehash all that, but it does beg the question: What is the takeaway from the Ladynoir conflict? Is it that he should bend himself over to be what she needs, but she doesn't need to return the same support? Is it that Ladybug is the Flawless Leader™, and he should learn his place? Because that's the impression it gives.

Now, I've talked before about how Gabriel's abuse has caused Adrien to believe love is conditional and has to be earned by him pleasing the other person and doing whatever they expect of him. And the importance of his Chat Noir persona being more expressive and "imperfect" is that this is the only time he can let loose and have fun, free of the expectations of others. And Season 4 has him return to his trauma responses around Ladybug, the person who is narratively supposed to be the one person who accepts his imperfections and doesn't place any expectations on him. Now, Chat Noir being traumatized is not Ladybug's fault, of course, and if he is fawning over her, certainly it is not her fault. But the narrative frames this as beneficial to her. Ladybug likes when Chat Noir fawns over her as Catwalker. Over and over in the story, she takes advantage of his forgiveness and trust, and never examines herself or her actions, and never tries to fix her mistakes because he always ends up forgiving her due to his belief that his feelings don't matter. Ladybug meets Catwalker, which is literally just Adrien fawning and trying to be whatever he needs to be to please her, and she instantly falls for him.

And in a narrative sense... this is detrimental to the concept of the Love Square, because it reinforces the narrative that Ladybug will never fall in love with Chat Noir, because what she wants is the perfect image, the flawless partner. The rose-tinted glasses she sees Adrien with are not being removed, rather she is putting on a fresh, darker shade. And it doesn't say good things about their development that she falls for the perfect act almost immediately upon meeting him, the moment he swears that he'll take care of her. And I won't go into too much detail since I've covered it in my other posts, but the point is that Marinette only ever seems to fall for boys who don't inconvenience her with their emotions, and instead take care of her needs without expecting anything, and this makes it seem like she is benefitting from Adrien's trauma. And Marinette is never allowed to return the support she gets from Chat Noir in any meaningful way, and it is framed by the narrative as right and wonderful that Adrien is so nice as to put his feelings aside and support her over and over again despite her repeatedly making the same mistakes and hurting him. His trauma response is framed as a good thing because it benefits Marinette.

Season 4 was about Marinette deliberately keeping secrets from her partner, dictating his actions and outright lying to him and taking advantage of his trust at times. Decidedly Gabe-like behavior, even though it was way more toned down and way less malicious (I won't go too far with that comparison, but still). And Season 5 ends up adding more salt to the wound, by having Marinette straight out lie to Adrien about his father, dictating his perceptions and controlling his thoughts and feelings, just like Gabriel would have liked. And in fact, Gabriel asked her to do this to the son she knows he abused, and she sides with him. And it's not just Marinette. The list of people who have denied Adrien honesty just goes on and on. Gabriel, Emilie, Nathalie, Amelie, Felix, Kagami, Master Fu, Luka, Plagg, Tikki, Marinette, Alya, Su-Han... they are all, as those who knew truths about different situations, people who chose to lie to and hide information from Adrien that he was entitled to. And with the exception of Luka and Master Fu, all of these people are complicit in siding with Gabriel and denying Adrien the most important secret of all, the truth of his very existence.

Which raises the question: if Adrien's arc was supposedly about breaking free from a controlling life and finding those who didn't do that to him, then why is it that everyone around him appears to agree with Gabriel? Why does the person who, in the narrative, is supposed to be the opposite of Gabriel and the saving grace for Adrien, parallel him so much in both actions and backstory? Does that not cheapen Adrien's arc? What does that imply for him? That he can never escape the fate of being controlled? That being controlling over a person's agency is fine and dandy if done for the right reasons?

Let's take a look back over Adrien's arc. Adrien's first scene is him rebelling against Gabriel, and we see him come closer and closer to the realization that Gabriel is abusive and cruel. We see Adrien make friends like Nino and Ladybug. We see the trajectory that his arc is going in, one of him learning to reject his father and assert his self-worth and his own identity in the face of the man who has controlled him his whole life.

And yet, there are still some glaring problems that become more apparent as the story progresses, and they come to a head in Seasons 4 and 5. It's shown in scenes like in the episode Felix, where we see that despite everyone getting together to do something nice for Adrien, the moment he acts out of character, their first instinct is to admit that they don't know him very well at all. Almost all the interactions he has with his supposed best friend and his other friends are about setting him up with Marinette. Adrien only matters to them in his role as Marinette's future boyfriend. And this is not addressed by the narrative as something that should be fixed or resolved, or that it is even a problem in the first place.

Adrien's feelings are repeatedly denied in this show. From him having to simply forgive and forget how Ladybug hurt him, to him being repeatedly taken advantage of by Felix without the narrative letting him be upset over it, to his instant forgiveness of Gabriel, the narrative will not let Adrien feel anything negative towards the characters that the narrative actually cares about so as to not inconvenience them. His only purpose is to prop them up and bend to their needs, and anything he might realistically feel against them is invalidated and forgotten because it would go against his role of being their motivation/prop/plot device.

We also see a problem with narrative focus for him. Adrien is not the protagonist of the show, and my criticism is not that he does not get as much screentime as Marinette. The issue is that even the dedicated screentime he does get outside of being shipped with Marinette and being a part of the battle of the episode, the screentime that should be used to develop his character is often cut into by the writers' desperate need to shove Marinette into every single plot and have her be the focus of every episode. Episodes that should have focused on Adrien's loneliness like Puppeteer 2, or episodes dedicated to Adrien's friendships with others like Party Crasher, or even episodes like Gabriel Agreste which should have focused on the Agreste drama, are ultimately about Marinette trying to confess her feelings for Adrien. But this really shows itself in Chat Blanc, where the main plot of the episode is one where Gabriel's abuse of Adrien is ramped up to the max, and one where Adrien undergoes unimaginable and incomprehensible trauma, and the only thing that truly matters about it is... how it affects Marinette.

And as I said, Season 4 takes this to a new level. Ladybug, the one supposed to be Adrien's escape from his civilian life, is also someone who he fawns around. And that inherently is not a bad thing to depict, because it is not Ladybug's fault that Chat Noir is traumatized, and it is realistic that this happens. What is a problem though, is the way the narrative never paints this as a trauma response. Chat Noir pushing aside his feelings and supporting her as she repeatedly hurts him over and over is treated as good and nice of him, without her having to examine herself or realize she's treating him badly. And in the end, he accepts that he'll never be treated like he wants to and comes back to support her in her hour of need, and simply shoves his feelings away, never to complain about them again. I mentioned that Ladybug benefits from Chat Noir's civilian abuse, and this is how. Chat Noir is allowed to be traumatized, but only as long as it doesn't affect Marinette. Then, his trauma response is not only beneficial, but also the romantic and right thing to do. And, as Kuro Neko said, the answer to the issue of Ladybug keeping secrets and making mistakes is for Chat Noir to stop being so sensitive and just push his feelings away to support her. Chat Noir's trauma does not matter.

And Season 5 only doubles down on this. Adrien's rebellion against his father only matters now because the end goal is for him to date Marinette. The issue of him being a Sentimonster only matters because now it's getting in the way of him dating Marinette. But it could have been fine. Development is development, and the scene where Adrien finally confronts his abuser and asserts his right to be an individual and have autonomy over himself will still be an empowering moment that shows him breaking free of abuse-

He is not in the final battle.

Instead, Marinette is the one to face Adrien's abusive father, by merging Adrien's Miraculous with hers, by facing him off in Adrien's home. Marinette is the one who stands up to Gabriel and faces him. Marinette is the one who completes Adrien's arc for him. It was never about Adrien facing off against his father. It was all a set up for Marinette to do it.

As we all know, Thomas Astruc has gone on record on Twitter to say that Chat Blanc was the reason that Adrien could not participate in the final battle. Chat Blanc, which happened in Season 3, two seasons before Adrien rebelled to this extent against his father, before he underwent that little thing in writing called character development. In Season 4, we watched Ephemeral which more or less rehashed the same points as Chat Blanc, and in Season 5, we watched Representation, where Adrien's final interaction with his father was to be sprayed with nightmare gas and be unable to fight in the final battle (even though Bug Noire managed whilst also suffering from nightmares). We saw these ridiculous excuses be used to contrive a reason for why Adrien could not participate in his own arc, in his own story, even though they could have been easily resolved.

Throughout Season 5, we see the parallels being built up between Marinette and Gabriel, about how they both came from the same situations, and how alike they are in that regard. Previous parallels established between them that the show does not acknowledge as much as it should are their controlling streak (though Marinette is nowhere near as bad as Gabe) and them being willing to do anything for the people they love ("love" being questionable in Gabe's case). Marinette is the one who hears the truth of the Agreste family. In the Season 5 finale, Marinette and Gabriel are the ones that face off against each other. Adrienette was rushed up to come to full fruition in Season 5 despite it hampering the development of the Love Square, all in an attempt to connect Marinette to the Agreste plot. Therefore, Adrien was only ever a plot device so that Marinette could have a stake in the Agreste plot. He is there to connect Marinette and Gabriel and give them something to fight over. Their fight is about him and what is best for him, but he has no agency in it despite it being about him. He only exists as the prize for the winner.

I've talked about this before, but the jist of it is that Adrien was never meant to have an arc about breaking free of abuse. He was never meant to confront his father. Adrien's story only mattered so that Marinette could use it in her speech to talk Gabe down. Adrien's feelings only mattered as far as they affected Marinette herself. He was just meant to be there to further her development. His main contribution to the arc with his last name was to give up his agency and step aside for Marinette, and this is what his role has been throughout the show. All his character was meant to do was be the damsel in distress who she could receive as her trophy once she defeated the big bad villain.

Everything Adrien's character was meant to do was to be Ladybug's prop to offer he support when she needed it, to offer her a connection to the main plotline, and to be her prize after she won. His feelings, his emotions, his trauma... they all only mattered in the context of what they meant for Ladybug. If they inconvenienced her, they were unimportant. If they benefitted her, they were good. He took the blame for her mistakes so that she didn't have to be held accountable, he forgave her so that she didn't have to work to fix her mistakes, and he continued to support her when she didn't really return the favor. Because that is Adrien's role, to be Marinette's emotional support partner who conveniently comes pre-abused and ready to downplay his feelings and emotions to cater to hers while not asking or expecting anything of her. He only exists to take care of Marinette's needs, not as his own character.

And this writing of Adrien's trauma as secondary to Marinette's convenience is a really awful way to write an abuse victim. Not allowing him to prioritize his own feelings and portraying it as a good thing when he fawns over Ladybug is a really awful and bad way to portray his trauma stemming from his abuse. But good thing the fact that he is a victim of abuse is respected at least with regards to his relationship with his abuser, right?

Right?

It's been discussed before how Gabriel's actions are downplayed and minimized in order to afford him maximum sympathy, to portray him as just a misguided and lost soul, instead of as a terrorist and abuser (credit to @erisluna35 for their great post on the matter). The show denies Adrien an opportunity to confront the man, and instead, the good ending is that his victim forgives him. One way the show downplays Gabriel's abusiveness towards Adrien is by having Marinette want to work with him to find a solution for Adrien, implying that his only crime was to not think of Adrien's well-being, and that the only intentions he had for Adrien were correct, fatherly ones that he just lost sight of, and that if he had paid attention to Adrien, he would have been an excellent and loving father, instead of it being that he actively mistreated his son and therefore should not be trusted or allowed to make any sort of decision regarding Adrien's future. He was always "just a man who loves his family" deep down, and he always had only good intentions and a pure heart, and he simply forgot about what he had in pursuit of an ideal family for that son, instead of it being that he was an abusive, controlling person who whittled down his son's self-worth and treated him like a possession, like property, like a doll that was made to cater to his wishes, and that he only ever wanted his wife back for himself and not for his son.

And this just suggests to me that Gabriel's actions... are not meant to be read as abusive. His only crime was paying attention to the Miraculous over his son. Not the gaslighting, the manipulation, the lifelong isolation, the controlling, the physical violence in some realities, the fucking sensory deprivation chambers... those were all not abuse, I guess.

This is confirmed by the fact that Marinette and everyone else lying to Adrien about his existence because Gabriel asked them to do so is framed as a good thing and as proof of Marinette's love for Adrien or something. They are quite explicitly doing what he says, literally following his wishes on how to treat his son. And yet, their actions are not framed as toxic and controlling as they should be, but as selfless and kind towards poor Adrien who won't be able to handle the truth because he's too emotional and weak. Despite this being classic Gabe rhetoric, this is supposed to be seen as sweet and heartwarming and touching, that Marinette is oh so selfless to deny Adrien the information he is entitled to know and to make that choice for him. This tells us that the writers don't really see how Gabriel treated Adrien as... wrong. They don't see his actions are wrong, because when Marinette does it, it's fine! The issue, then, isn't that Gabriel is an abuser who denies his son his autonomy, it's that Gabriel did all these things for the wrong reasons, and Marinette is doing them for the right reasons.

Indeed, the parallelisms, whether intentional or not, between Marinette and Gabriel only serve to further downplay the magnitude of Gabriel's abuse of his son. The problem wasn't that these things are wrong and awful, it's that Gabriel did them because he was Evil and Marinette is doing them because she's Good, and when you're Good, it's okay to gaslight your boyfriend into loving his abuser. There's nothing inherently wrong or abusive about anything Gabriel did. The issue, in fact, is not that he did these things, but his reasonings for them. While it's okay if Marinette denies Adrien the right to be informed of his own life because she feels he is too emotional to be able to make his own choices, because she is Pure and Good and she Loves Him So Much.

And for another example, consider how Emilie Agreste is framed as a perfect and loving and wonderful mother, even though she allowed Adrien to be isolated his whole life and is also heavily implied to have been using the mind control rings on him, since there are two of them. This kinda shows that the writers don't really think mind controlling is abuse or even wrong. It's just wrong because Gabriel is Evil, but Emilie is Pure and Good and therefore allowed to abuse her child this way.

But I don't think the writers were malicious about this. Despite his questionable tweets, I don't think Thomas Astruc doesn't care about abuse. I don't think the writers were deliberately trying to infantilize the abuse victim in the story. I just feel like they don't understand that what they portrayed is abuse. And yet, it comes off as them invalidating the trauma Adrien suffered, but I don't think that would be intentional. The explanation I have for this, therefore, is that Adrien is not supposed to have trauma. Adrien is not supposed to be read as a victim of abuse.

I've mentioned the Marinette-Gabriel parallels, but let me add one more. Adrien is the plot device that furthers Marinette's character, but he also fulfills the same role for Gabriel.

Throughout Season 5, we see Adrien rebel against his father more and more, and it was expected that this would culminate in a final confrontation where Adrien would confront his abuser in his entirety. But Adrien was not a part of this final confrontation, so the arc wasn't about him, and it stands to reason that it must have been for some other character. We see that it is for Marinette, since she was the one who fulfilled what should have been his arc and got the moment that should have been Adrien's. But who was on the other side of this confrontation? Who was the one the speech was directed towards? Who did Adrien connect Marinette to?

It is Gabriel.

Adrien's callout of his father does not matter for furthering his character, but for furthering Gabriel's character. His calling out of Gabriel is less a way for him to finally realize that his father's treatment of him is cruel, and more of a way for Gabe to be seen a tragic, fallen villain. Adrien's callout of his father is not about him, it's about Gabriel and how he feels about it. The finale deals not with Adrien's feelings about being failed by his father, but how Gabriel feels about having failed him. Adrien's increasing rejection of his father is not used to finish the arc he should have had, but it is used in Gabriel's instead. And Gabriel's redemption comes from him being praised by his victim, who aspires to be like him. Adrien was only ever there to progress Gabriel's arc, not the other way around. Adrien had no real agency in the matter, and Gabriel's increasingly cruel treatment of him was only ever there to highlight how far he himself had fallen and was never really about Adrien realizing the truth about him.

And once Gabriel makes the choice to "change," he is rewarded with the forgiveness and love of his victim, who is there to conveniently express to the viewer how we should feel about him. Adrien is there to call out Gabriel when Gabriel is being Bad and Evil and is there to then inform the viewers that Gabriel is Good now by forgiving him and forgetting all his mistakes. Because Adrien forgave Gabriel and isn't Gabriel so wonderful now that he's made up for his mistakes and his victim has forgiven him and even looks up to him?

The main highlight of Gabriel's supposed redemption is the forgiveness of his victim, further highlighting the point that Adrien only existed as a character to push Gabriel's narrative, and not as a victim of abuse who is entitled to decide whether or not to forgive this man. Adrien did not forgive Gabriel because of a natural and believable development in his arc, he forgave him because he is ultimately a plot device to exposit about the current state of Gabriel's arc and to show the viewer what kind of a man Gabriel is, and Gabriel is good now, and so he must be validated through the forgiveness of his victim. Adrien is a prop in Gabriel's arc, who shows us the tragedy of Gabriel's fall and the future redemption of his "selfless sacrifice." His character that of "Gabriel's son," to take us through Gabriel's arc, and not a character of his own.

And since Adrien's ultimate end is to show that Gabriel is a good man after all, it also lends credence to the interpretation that, no, he is not traumatized after all. Nothing actually happened to Adrien himself, because he is only a plot device, not a character. He is there to let us know the tragedy of the man Gabriel. He is just there to let us know where Gabriel is in his arc. We see this in the way his development in just completely erased once Gabriel is "redeemed." His reactions don't make sense in the context of his arc, and it's OOC how he goes from calling out his father for who he is and then reverting back to worshipping him and forgetting all his flaws. But when you consider that the purpose of his character is less being his own character and more about highlighting and pushing forward Gabriel's arc, they make a lot more sense. His reactions don't make sense for the development that he has received throughout the season, but it makes sense if you consider that he is just a cog in Gabriel's story, and that his arc only matters as far as it affects Gabriel's arc. His struggles only matter as far as they affect Gabriel. Just like they only matter in the way they affect Marinette. Adrien doesn't get to learn anything, choose anything or even do anything if it is not about Marinette or Gabriel.

But to go back to the question at the beginning of the post, what purpose does it serve in Adrien's arc to have everyone he knows lie to him?

The answer is that Adrien does not have an arc.

Of course, it seems like he does. He does show some form of growth in calling out his father, so it would appear. But the arc of realizing his father is abusive, the arc of realizing that he deserves to make his own choices, that he deserves unconditional love... does not exist. He is only a plot device in the story, meant to be the motivation for the protagonist and the antagonist. Any arc or character complexity he has is largely accidental. His story about being a victim of abuse is unimportant and non-existent, and the show itself denies him agency and the ability to have any meaningful impact on the story outside of his role in the arcs of the main characters of the show. He has nothing of his own happening for him, he has nothing to do with his own life and family. All he matters for is to be the prop for Gabe's redemption and the prize for Marinette. His only role is to connect these two so that they can duke it out.

He has no autonomy, no agency, no nothing outside of being what Gabriel and Marinette need. We can scream until we're blue in the face about how Adrien feels the need to put on masks to please everyone and has been conditioned into believing his worth is based on pleasing others and that his emotions don't matter, and to be fair I will not stop making those analyses myself, but the fact remains that this is his narrative role. The narrative validates the abuser, both through the actions of the characters around Adrien and the framing of his arc. The characters around him don't treat him as a person as much as they treat him as Marinette's boyfriend, or as someone who doesn't get to make informed choices and should be kept in the dark because he is too emotional. The narrative treats him as a doll who must bend to the needs of the real characters with arcs and a story in the show, as a character who does not have agency and any value of his own beyond being what other characters need. His supposed development is only there to highlight Gabriel's fall. His own feelings and trauma are invalidated in favor of focusing on Marinette. Nothing he does is about him, it's about the main two characters in the show.

The show goes out of its way to remove him from the conflict. There are two episodes devoted to how he cannot ever find out about his father. He gets sprayed with nightmare gas. Fuck, even the only importance of him being a Sentimonster is to make sure that Adrien cannot find a way to break free of Gabriel's control and actually contribute to the plot. The Sentimonster plotline is mainly meant to make sure that there is no way that Adrien would be able to break free of Gabriel's control, hence he cannot take part in the final battle. Its very existence in the story boils down to being a convenient excuse for Adrien to not be a part of the finale. The only importance of the rings is ultimately so that Marinette can have a moment to slide it on his finger while ambiguously either giving him an order or not (I wouldn't be surprised if it was since the show doesn't seem to think mind control is wrong) to show that she's Good and Not Like Gabriel. The Sentimonster thing is textually a plot device to make characters unable to do anything because they physically can't. And it only serves to reduce Adrien into even more of an object, because he's now literally an object. The deeper ramifications of Adrien being a Sentimonster are never explored. It literally only exists to deprive Adrien of more agency so that Marinette can get into the spotlight. The only thing that matters about it is that it is now in the way of Adrienette, once more only focusing on how Adrien's issues affect Marinette.

Adrien is literally reduced to being a part of the magic slave race, because he cannot under any circumstance be a part of the finale and be the one to confront his abuser. And to a smaller extent, this is also the case for Felix and Kagami, two people who have a closer connection to the plotline beyond "fighting the guy who won't let me date my boyfriend." They are also Sentimonsters, and therefore have no choice but to rely on Marinette to save them and cannot fight alone even though Felix had no problem with that in the last season. The Sentimonster plotline is just an excuse to remove anyone with closer ties to Gabriel than his son's girlfriend from the conflict. Either they are working with Gabriel, or they are part of the slave race and cannot fight him, leaving only Marinette to do that for them. But like, at least Felix and Kagami got to make an informed choice about it without being lied to by everyone.

And this denial of abuse and the invalidating of Adrien's trauma leads to some pretty crazy abuse apologism for Gabe. And yes, reducing the impact of Gabriel's abuse, trying to pass him off as "just a man who loves his family," and denying the abuse that Adrien suffered throughout the show is in fact, abuse apologism. And the creators' insistence that Adrien was not emotionally mature enough to fight his father, being that this was the point of Chat Blanc all along apparently, also falls into this same trap of implying that abuse victims are not capable of making sound decisions and having autonomy over their own life, and isn't it so nice that Adrien is now Marinette's doll instead of being Gabriel's. It's victim blaming garbage, and it is frankly really gross. But in the narrative tells us what Gabriel has been telling us from day one about Adrien, that he is too emotional, that he must be protected, that he cannot make his own choices and his autonomy is better left in the hands of others, that his only purpose is to be a doll and a prop for the people around him. He only matters as far as he is useful to them.

And if you want to see the most damning example of Adrien being irrelevant outside his role as the motivation for the two people who actually drive what should be his story, look no further than Chat Noir.

Chat Noir is the only thing that indisputably belongs to Adrien. Chat Noir is him asserting his agency, his freedom, his choices. Chat Noir is his. And Chat Noir is not part of the finale. Not even in terms of physical presence. Chat Noir is an absolute non-entity in the finale. I'm not talking about Adrien; I mean Chat Noir. Chat Noir, who spent nine months fighting Monarch by Ladybug's side. Chat Noir, the owner of the Black Cat Miraculous. Chat Noir in Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug and Chat Noir, is missing in both body and mind from this final battle against his father. The one part of his life and the one part of the story where Adrien had any agency and autonomy of his own, was removed entirely from the finale. Chat Noir was reduced into nothing, to mean nothing. Because Ladybug only went there for Adrien and not to finish her and Chat Noir's fight.

Ladybug didn't fight Monarch in order to end their months-long crusade, she didn't acknowledge that Chat Noir was at least there with her in spirit, she didn't come to Monarch to put an end to the battle that they'd fought for so long with any intentions of at least wanting to carry his fight along with her to bring their enemy to an end, she wasn't there for both of them. She came there for Adrien. She came there to look for Adrien. And the symbol of Adrien's agency, Chat Noir's ring, was on her finger throughout her fight with his father over him. Chat Noir did not matter.

I'll say it again. Adrien had nothing. He was only a tool for Marinette and Gabriel. His role was to be passed on from Gabriel's clutches to Marinette's. And it paints a very bad picture that the one reduced to the role of the plot device is the abuse victim. And for anyone who doubts that Adrien is supposed to be Marinette's plot device, Thomas Astruc has helpfully made my point for me by tweeting that Adrien is Ken and Marinette is Barbie, and that we should just deal with it because it's not going to change. And I hope that this also makes it clear that we will not be dealing with the fact that Marinette is siding with her boyfriend's abuser and doing what he wants, because Marinette is always right, and Adrien doesn't get to have feelings that inconvenience her and only exists to prop her up.

The show makes it clear that he is just an object in the story from the way he's written as a damsel in distress who needs someone else to come save him, and this is taken even further by the fact that he is literally a puppet who can be mind controlled. It takes away Adrien's story of regaining autonomy and informs us that he was never supposed to have autonomy and never can, making it clear that he was never really supposed to have any arc of his own. He was never supposed to break out from his father. His end was to become Marinette's boyfriend and to worship Gabriel. Because that is how their arcs end, and their plot device must go along with it regardless of narrative implications or established characterization.

But that is Adrien's purpose in the show. For Marinette to beat the villain, and to receive his son as her prize for doing that. His abuse and trauma are secondary to Marinette's needs, and him being a victim of Gabriel's abuse is secondary to him being the vessel for Gabriel's redemption. He is only there to be a source of motivation for these two characters and to cater to their arcs. Marinette and Gabriel are the only ones who matter, who have agency in the story. Adrien is just a simple plot device to push their arcs, instead of having one himself. There is no arc for the abuse victim. He exists solely as an object, as property, as a damsel in distress, as a doll. There is no agency and autonomy for him in this story. And that is the unfortunate truth.

#MLB #Adrien Agreste #ML Salt #ML Writing Salt #ML Writers Salt #Marinette Salt #Felix Salt #I guess?? Tagging to be safe mostly #S5 Finale #Sentimonsters #Meta #My meta #Abuse tw #Abuse cw #Ladynoir conflict

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ouabhs · 7 months

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acftl review (finally)

I give it a 3 ⭐️ (as much as it pains me) even then it’s only this high bc I love evajacks so much

so I was finally able to gather my thoughts into one post and while there were many things I enjoyed a few others didn’t sit right..

1. the whole story curse thing.. it makes sense that the story curse would twist things which is why some things were left unexplained but it doesn’t feel like it was done deliberately?? it just felt like stephanie genuinely didn’t know how to tie some things together.. like sure not every single thing needs an explanation but she emphasised certain things wayyy too much in the first two books for them to be completely ignored for example evajacks talking to each other in their minds. Even the broken heart scar wasn’t addressed again after like halfway through acftl

2. too much apollo.. sorry this is not even just me being biased or whatever like I do agree his pov helped explain the plot from a different perspective but he got wayyy more of a backstory and a conclusion to his character than jacks for a someone that wasn’t as present in the last 2 books.. and this was supposed to be jacks’ series kinda (ik it was evangelines too) but I feel like jacks got sidelined hard and that’s disappointing. It also didn’t help that whenever there was an intense scene between evajacks the pov would switch to apollo.. to be fair I think having 3 povs was just hard to execute in general

3. the kiss scene.. usually it would not be a big deal but it’s a big part of jacks character that he can’t kiss girls without killing them idk I thought him finally getting to kiss evangeline would be a lot more… grand? they barely got a page or any detail and then the next chapter was “once upon a time there was kissing and more kissing 🥰🥰” which was even more underwhelming. Even apollo and evangelines kiss scenes were longer and more detailed and they got multiple

4. the overall vibe of the 3rd book felt very different to the first two I couldn’t put my finger on it at first but I feel like it had something to do with the writing.. at some parts it felt familiar (like all the descriptions and the fairytale aspects) but others it just felt different?

5. during too many scenes it just felt like stephanie was rewriting tbona.. like I haven’t really seen anyone say this yet but a good chunk of the book was quotes from tbona which I feel took up a lot of unnecessary space and could’ve been used to develop other plots or characters? Literally someone that hasn’t read tbona could get a gist of what happened cause it’s all summarised in there 😭

6. the plot in general.. contrary to popular belief I don’t think this was that romance focused (as people claim as to why things weren’t explained) because I think stephanie incorporated more plot in here but it was just different to what we saw in the last books because previous characters (luc, marisol, tiberius, kristof) weren’t as present in this book and new characters plots and explanations were just thrown in.. not much felt connected

7. jacks’ backstory.. (going back to my second point) how he became a fate was really glossed over I feel and was only briefly mentioned but I just wanted more.. I do like the fact that he said he did it for chaos and I wish their friendship was delved into more because he literally turned to immortality because his friend would be alone. What about his parents? His friendship with Lyric? The merrywood three in general? His life when he was trapped in the card?

8. the first fox.. again wayy too significant to be missed out especially since jacks doesn’t really remember whether or not he had a thing for her and chaos said evangeline was similar to her.. how was there no link?

I definitely have more to add but for now my main takeaway is that while tbona was very hard to top I feel like acftl could’ve been so much more especially since it was set up so well.. I think so many people are disappointed because it doesn’t hold up as well for the last book in a series but I’m just glad evajacks got their happy ending 🫠

#acftl #evajacks #ouabh #acftl theories #evangeline fox #caraval #jacks x evangeline #tbona spoilers #the ballad of never after #jacks prince of hearts #a curse for true love #acftl spoilers #stephanie garber

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slurpi13 · 6 months

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Demon Delivery

Summary: There wasn’t much Aziraphale wouldn’t put up with for a truly superb meal. But while dining out both luxuriously and otherwise was certainly typical, occasionally the angel desired a private night in.

Crowley had been the first to tempt his angel to the earthly pleasure of a good meal, and it was only right to see him through. Regardless of the meal being a takeaway, Aziraphale deserved no less than perfection, and that’s what he would have.

(OR: Crowley is one hell of a food delivery demon. Aziraphale rewards him thoroughly for his efforts.)

AO3

Explicit - 4127 words

The angel loved to dine in all forms, whether it be an unhurried evening of the finest wine and multi-course dining or a plate of greasy fish and chips.

By all means, Aziraphale preferred the luxurious experience of dining with Crowley at the Ritz—the hum of mild chatter, the soft piano melodies, and the posh excellence as he delighted in his dainty bites of decadence under the demon’s attentive observation. He did always appreciate the finer things, standards and all.

Nevertheless, the pair just as commonly frequented Aziraphale’s favorite chippy despite its typically boisterous crowd and modern decor, the angel mentioning the latter as if they were dirty words. The seating was lackluster, sleek stools and stiff booths, not accommodating to long, lavish dining events. The small shop was narrow and noisy, locals and tourists alike crowding around for their turn. A stray, accidental elbowing from said overexcited patrons wasn’t unusual, inciting warning hisses from the demon when Aziraphale was the recipient of such. Despite the atmospheric shortcomings, it was the best in London, according to the angel.

There wasn’t much Aziraphale wouldn’t put up with for a truly superb meal. But while dining out both luxuriously and otherwise was certainly typical, occasionally the angel desired a private night in.

Often, it was on a Tuesday—first of the month.

Crowley lounged upon his grand throne, one leg dangling over the armrest and chin balanced precariously against his palm. The screen of his phone glared back at him as the digital clock ticked over to five on the dot. Ever punctual, his phone began to vibrate with an incoming call. Straightening up in his seat, Crowley smirked, trying his best to keep it out of his voice as he held for an additional buzz before answering.

“Hello, angel.”

“Crowley,” Aziraphale began, delight in his tone as if it were half a surprise to find him on the other end, as if he didn’t know Crowley’s number by heart, as if he hadn’t just dialed it purposefully on the antique phone he kept in his shop. “Are you busy? I was wondering if you might like to come over.”

“Sure. M’not doing anything. Hungry?” He should have waited for Aziraphale to suggest or at least allude to it, but he couldn’t help himself, his own appetite already getting the best of him. Crowley had no doubt the angel noted it, despite no indication.

“Well, now that you mention it, I suppose I am feeling a bit peckish. Would you mind terribly picking up something on your way? Dreadful weather.”

The weather was dreadful, a steady pitter of cold rain dribbling down the window of Crowley’s flat. While Aziraphale did appreciate a sunny day, if rain and a chill stopped the angel from venturing out into the streets, he’d rarely leave the bookshop. Regardless of what excuse the angel may have, Crowley knew that it simply just so happened to be raining on this Tuesday, the first one of the month, when the pâtisserie Aziraphale favored rotated their offerings.

“What do you fancy?”

Aziraphale hummed, making a show of debating over what exactly he had a craving for, as though it hadn’t been on his mind before he’d called, if not all day. It was a formality, as was his polite insistence that Crowley choose something else if he’d rather when he finally settled on his request—three courses of Italian from a restaurant that would balk at the idea of a takeaway.

The angel was letting him off easy tonight.

Nothing crisp that needed to stay that way in a steamy container on a damp evening. Nothing that would spill and slosh onto his Bentley seats if Crowley didn’t cradle it gingerly with his free hand and drive at suboptimal speeds. Nothing that deflated once it reached a few perilous meters away from the oven or started melting the moment it touched room-temperature air. No celebratory towers of fragile pastry meant for parties being tucked away by a single, prim angel.

Slightly disappointed, Crowley’s smirk faded. “Anything else, angel?”

“Perhaps something for our dessert.”

Full fic on AO3.

#good omens #ineffable husbands #aziracrow #good omens fanfic #good omens fic #aziraphale x crowley #crowley x aziraphale #aziraphale #crowley

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fivenightsatfreddysfanfiction · 4 months

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Find A Friend

Gregory meets Cassie... twice.

Time Set: Post-SB, pre-Ruin

----------------------

When Gregory still lived in the Pizzaplex, he figured out he could sneak himself into most kids’ birthday parties by swiping a bit of merch and putting it into a gift bag at Glamrock Gifts and mimicking the usual laments of people his age to anyone who got too curious at him. It was kind of stupid; adults expected certain noises to come from kids, he made the same noises and now he’s just relegated to another face in the crowd in those adults’ minds. All it confirmed for him was that there really was no one outside the building looking for him or asking after him.

Well, whatever. Some cheap gifts to use as cover and Gregory had access to plentiful food and games for however long the party lasted. And if there were party masks, even better; they fooled the S.T.A.F.F. facial recognition so he could ask them directly for takeaway containers to store extra food in for later. It was like shopping for supplies without the stress of having to dodge the bots in the dead of night. Wasn’t like they were programmed to sound alerts if they see any form of mask after hours… ha. Whoever thought that up was a pain in Gregory’s ass; he would have liked to be able to use a Freddy mask to fool them into thinking he was an animatronic but apparently the Pizzaplex’s network was prepared for that for the security night shifts and only allowed the weird rabbit mask the employees would wear before they disappeared.

Gregory was sure somebody tried that at some point and someone else snitched. What a pain.

Anyway, the point was that birthday parties were a great time to get food, play some games, and relax for a while. Be a normal kid and hang out with other kids, forget for a little bit that his memories were a mess and his dreams were shambles and sometimes he wasn’t sure if things he experienced were real or not. Can’t have a mental breakdown while he’s busy spending FazTokens on the birthday kid’s dime, right?

Turns out he also can’t when the birthday kid was already having a crisis of their own. Overshadowing that would be kind of rude.

The birthday kid was a girl currently sobbing her eyes out in a corner of the Glamrock Salon in Roxy Raceway. Normally Gregory didn’t have any interest in this part of the Pizzaplex but the party was being held here and it was one of the last scheduled ones before the area would be closed off for renovation. Although calling it a party was being kind, really. Despite all the party favors and goodies for the special day, there was a noticeable lack of other kids celebrating or parents being attentive or concerned with that fact. He stood there with a plate of pizza, chewing on a slice and not really enjoying the cheese and not-meat toppings. How could he, when he could hear the poor kid being miserable just around the corner?

Eventually he just set the plate down, grabbed one of the nice cloth napkins, and took a deep breath before heading over to tend to the birthday kid and introduce himself. A birthday without a single friend to celebrate with was just fucked up and Gregory wasn’t going to let that stand. Something in his soul railed against it, demanded that a lonely kid shedding so many tears needed to be soothed come hell or high water. Well, he’ll just do it so he won’t feel guilty for eating her food. He hated feeling guilty for just trying to survive.

Gregory hesitated for a bit upon turning that corner, taking in the sight of brightly colored and sparkling makeup running down the girl’s face, brilliant against her complexion and terrible in how he imagined it once looked amazing when first applied by Roxy during their hangout time. Questions on how this situation came to be flicked through his mind fast and jumbled, too fast for even words to be assembled for them. But Gregory shoved it aside and just walked up to the girl, lowering himself to one knee and holding out the napkin to her, pulling on a small smile for her sake.

“Hey,” he greeted quietly, “thought you could use something to, I dunno, blow your nose or something.” The girl sniffled, looking at him in confusion before down at the napkin. “It’s clean, promise! I got it off the nice tables.”

“Who’re you?” she asked in return, rubbing at her cheek and smearing the makeup some more.

Cover stories were the worst. Could never keep them straight in his head and couldn’t count on his memories to keep track of details anyway. “Name’s Gregory, I was just passing by and heard you, so I just wanted to make sure you were okay,” he answered. Simple and honest, but still vague enough that she could fill in the blanks herself and he wouldn’t have to keep track of stuff. Best way to tell a lie was to give it the basics of a truth and let the other person think they have the full story; it was a pretty good survival trick and he was kinda proud of himself for figuring that out.

“Were you invited to my party?” the girl asked, a flicker of hope in her eyes. Gregory hesitated a moment and that was enough of an answer for her. She looked even more miserable, “Oh.” She took the napkin from him with a wispy ‘Thank you’ and dabbed at her eyes and cheeks to blot the makeup off and clean up.

He watched her from the corner of his eyes, his stomach clenching uncomfortably with his failure to cheer her up. “Hey, I don’t really get out much and I don’t really know anyone, but maybe the two of us can still make this party fun,” Gregory offered uncertainly, a crooked grin on his face. “Whaddya say, Birthday Girl? Show me around and see what trouble we can get up to?”

She laughed, a startled sound as though she hadn’t expected to find that funny, but even that was a far better reaction than more sobbing. She wiped the last of the makeup off and returned his smile with a tremulous one. “Yeah, okay. We can do something,” she said and held out a hand for him to shake, “I’m Cassie. Nice to meet you, Gregory.”

-----------------

Gregory’s first day of school had him wary of the number of kids around him at almost all times. Part of him wondered if he would lose his mind trying to keep track of them from a threat that wasn’t even in the building. Forcing himself to not count them, to not track their locations, gave him a headache and made his eyes burn. Introducing himself to his new classmates, using the cover story of having ‘just moved’ which was true enough as he and Vanessa and Freddy and Sydney ‘moved’ from living inside the Pizzaplex to living outside of it, was stressful enough without having to cope with his old habit of checking the number of kids around him to see if Mrs. Afton grabbed any of them for her Remnant experiments.

Lunchtime was the first time he could get relief, sitting outside in a shady and mostly secluded area to press the heels of his palms to his eyes and hope things calmed down enough to let him eat. His head throbbed, painful enough that he almost wanted to cry. Maybe he could get to the nurse and ask to call home. Surely Vanessa would be okay with him coming back early to rest up, right?

“Looks like you’re getting out more, huh?” a familiar voice remarked and Gregory jerked his head up in surprise. He blinked as he looked towards the source of that voice and found the birthday girl he helped out leaning against the tree he sat under. “So, ‘just moved’, huh? Got everyone fooled but I remember you spending my birthday with me at the Pizzaplex some time ago,” she said with a grin, “What’s the real story, Gregory?”

“Cassie?!” Gregory exclaimed with wide eyes. Holy crap, she went to this school too?! Why didn’t he think of that sooner, they were about the same age, right?

“He remembers my name!” Cassie declared with a laugh, raising her hands as if to cheer for the achievement before drawing closer to sit beside him, “It’s been ages and I looked for you in school after my birthday but nobody here ever heard of you before today. Where the heck were you?”

“Around,” Gregory replied evasively, swallowing hard as he tried to think of what to say to get himself out of this mess. How did he forget about her until now? The implant, did the thing connecting him to the Pizzaplex network also force him to forget Cassie existed too? Now he doesn’t even have time to pull together a new cover story!

“Yeah? But where? This is the only school for this area and you weren’t here,” she pressed and tilted her head, her pigtails bobbing with the motion, “Were you home-schooled for a while? Is that why you enrolled late here?”

Well, Vanessa had him doing workbooks at home to prepare him for the placement tests and Alex was teaching him about programming to better protect Freddy, so that sounded about right. “Kinda? Vanessa did her best but she said I needed to be social too so here I am.” That sounded good, played into the home-schooling but hinted a reason to switch to public school without making Vanessa sound bad for their situation.

“You’re not doing very good at socializing, hiding all the way over here,” Cassie pointed out, giving him a small frown, “Are you okay? You don’t look good. Thinking of calling your mom and dad to come get you?” Gregory sighed, pressing his hands to his eyes and forehead again. That did sound tempting, though a little amusing to imagine Freddy pulling up to school to take him home. Would be nice to have that, though; maybe Mr. Woods and Mr. Fitzgerald could make a casing for Freddy that could have him look like something other than an animatronic bear?

“I want to, but Vanessa’s out looking for work,” he admitted. Sydney was doing the same since he didn't want to take back his old job and Alex still worked at Circus Baby’s on the day shift so he wouldn’t be able to just run over to get him, if he even would. Gregory still was kind of iffy on Sydney and Alex sticking around but they seemed more invested in him and Vanessa now compared to when they all first met. Either way, they were all doing stuff and Freddy couldn’t leave the house, so Gregory was stuck.

“Is that your mom?” Cassie asked and he nodded. He tried calling her ‘Mom’ a few times, but it still felt awkward. He wanted it to feel normal; Gregory had stayed in the Pizzaplex to save her, had a gut feeling he wanted to get his family back but the connection seemed flimsy at best now. So calling her Vanessa again was all he could do and it seemed the most comfortable for them both. “No dad, huh? I can get it,” Cassie went on, picking at the grass, “I didn’t have a mom, just my dad. But then he disappeared so now my grandma looks after me.” She looked around at the field of kids eating lunch or hanging out. “Lotta people disappear in this town, it’s super weird. I kinda thought you were one of them since I didn’t see you after my birthday.”

“Yeah, sorry about that. Like I said, I didn’t get out much,” Gregory replied with a dry laugh. His headache was waning and things felt less fuzzy now. Maybe he could just ask the nurse for something to take for the rest of the headache and he could finish the day.

“I can tell. You didn’t look too comfortable being in crowds in the hallway,” Cassie pointed out, setting her backpack down and pulling out her lunchbox. Roxy’s face smiled up at her from the lid and Gregory blinked at it in surprise. It was jarring to see Roxy as she was before that night in the Pizzaplex, glamorous and bold until he shattered her body and her self-confidence to swipe her upgraded parts for Freddy’s use.

He actually felt bad for her now. Sure in the moment of the night he was pissed off enough at the band for hunting him down that wrecking them felt deserved, but those were still Freddy’s friends and it was Afton who made them nasty and scary. If he could get their chips, maybe look into their programming and fix what Afton did, they would be their real selves again. Maybe that’ll be enough to make up for smashing them up.

“Roxy fan, huh?” he asked just for something to fill the silence as he pulled out his own lunchbox, “I’m team Freddy, just saying.” He grinned at Cassie’s giggle as the two of them got into their lunches.

“She’s my favorite. So cool and pretty and her keytar skills are amazing!” she rambled excitedly before her cheer dimmed, “It really sucks that the Pizzaplex got so wrecked by that earthquake. I know it got closed beforehand for some kind of renovation or investigation or something, but it still sucks that we can’t see the band perform anymore.”

“Maybe we’ll see them again someday?” Gregory said thoughtfully, already turning over potential ways to get into the Pizzaplex. Sydney had more access to the building when Mrs. Afton was controlling him, and Alex was really good with computers and hacking. Plus all those people that showed up at the Pizzaplex had ways of getting into the building for Circus Baby and Knife Lady. With him and Freddy and Vanessa helping with mapping out the inside, could they get into the Pizzaplex and recover the rest of the band?

“I hope so. My dad used to work there, so it’d be nice to see everything there again,” Cassie told him with a sad smile, “It felt like he was with me when I visited. Now it’s gone and it just… it really sucks.”

Gregory swallowed, his food losing flavor from that reveal. Cassie’s dad was a Pizzaplex employee? But all of them had been replaced by S.T.A.F.F. bots except for Vanessa and Sydney, and he’d been through that employee cafeteria where he picked up that company memo about a staff meeting. Did her dad end up there? Only way to know for sure would be to get into the Pizzaplex records in the servers.

“Well, forgetting all that for now,” Cassie suddenly remarked with false brightness, holding her sandwich tightly, “just wanted to welcome you to our school! It’s pretty cool, we have field trips sometimes and on Fridays we have pizza, tacos, or burgers for lunch, but we can bring our own lunches still. And the library has computers with games on them for the free period after lunch. Wanna go check it out after we eat?”

“Sure! Sounds fun,” Gregory agreed, warming up to the idea of actually being a regular kid at school. “It’s good to see you again, Cassie.” Finding her on her birthday, hanging out and playing all that time, and then making sure from the shadows that she left the Pizzaplex safely, and then feeling sad when she didn’t come back very often in ways that would let him go out to see her… it wasn’t until now that Gregory realized he had missed being able to just hang out with the first friend he ever made.

Cassie smiled back at him, bright and happy. “Always good to find a friend,” she agreed, laughing as she nudged his shoulder with her own, “Now hurry up and eat so we can get some spots on the computers!”

Maybe this public school thing wouldn’t be so bad after all.

#fnaf fanfiction #fnaf gregory #fnaf cassie #parlourverse au #fnaf au

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sedgewicke · 1 year

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Well. Reading the prologue to the fifth book sure is... A Thing when you've only read the first. Half of it doesn't even count as spoilers to me, it's pure word salad.

My main takeaway is that Sadeas would be fucking pissed if he knew Gavilar was keeping aaaaaaaaaallllllll thaaaaaat from him. And Merida is in on it? MERIDA!? No idea what he'd make of the secrets themselves, it's kind of a lot of a lot.

I am disappointed to know that Sadeas being with Gavilar that night meant nothing more than him hustling up like "Here, take my armor, I'm gonna go probably trying to save your life I hope you haven't been keeping any absurdly massive secrets from me bye!"

Not that I expected it to be revealed that they were banging on top of everybody's coats, but it's nice to have some empty spaces for the imagination to roll around in.

So, what's the deal with telling Dalinar not to drink (albeit in a weird, cryptic way), and then telling his guy to make sure he gets something to drink? Is it to test Dalinar's will? Is it just to fuck with him? Is it to redirect blame from Dalinar for choosing to get drunk that night and put it back on Gavilar? Because that would be on-Brando. (See: Dalinar having the gall to blame Sadeas for not doing enough, and this not being treated as an absolutely wretched thing to say.) As someone who's lived with an alcoholic for 15+ years: Fuck that. I ain't got that kind of patience for winos no more.

Everybody's pissed at Gavilar for how he treated Navani, but to be brutally honest? I don't care. You married a war criminal. What do you want? No, what I'm pissed about is how he must've treated Elhokar if that's what he thinks about him. No wonder that boy's got so many problems. I sure am glad Elhokar got to prove his dad wrong by becoming a Radiant and helping to save the wor--ohhhh. Yeeeaahhh. Fuck you, Sanderson.

EDIT: Because I should've known better than to not include a disclaimer re: my opinions on this fictional character's fictional life situation. I would have been sympathetic towards Navani, despite the fact that she made a blatantly terrible decision... but then ch 75 of TWoK happened and she pulled some real Scumbag Mom Tactics--and unlike Gavilar's Scumbag Dad Tactics, it's treated as NBD, nothing to see here--and so now? I don't care. And if you tell me I need to care? I will care less. Signed, a real life victim of emotional abuse--not that that matters, apparently.

I hope it's explained somewhere, at some point, how Gavilar got into any of this. Did he just up and start having visions like Dalinar, and one thing led to another? I don't know shit about any of these non-human entities pullin' strings and whatnot yet, but I feel like they probably have some stuff to answer for. They gotta know that humans do not do well with having mystical nonsense foisted upon them like that.

What's up with mentioning Aesudan like she's an old chum. We're talking Elhokar's wife, right? How old is she, that she'd be pallin' around with Gav and the Sadeases? Is she like Aesudan Jr. or something?

His family. In that moment, Gavilar saw his legacy crumbling. He was dying. Storms. He was dying. What was le to him? What did anything matter if he was dying. He couldn’t. He couldn’t... He was supposed to be eternal...

ngl, this got to me. Sure, he was a dumb bitch getting up to all kinds of dumb bitch shit, but I dunno, man, something about dying thoughts does stuff to me. Look, I hurt inside when I think about... Roshone's? shitty kid's death, and I don't even remember his name. No one can predict what'll get to me and what won't (probably what's not supposed to and what is, respectively), not even me.

I liked that there were little bips of humanity tucked in between all the red conspiracy string. Like "When was the last time I hung out with my friends? NO TIME! GODHOOD NOW! I think I used to like my wife? NO! RENEW THE APOCALYPSE TO SAVE THE WORLD OR SOMETHING!"

#the stormlight archive #book 5 spoilers #idiot who's only read WoK reads the book 5 prologue #for Sadeas content tbh #gavilar kholin #on no the cat got into my yarn stash #apocalypse renewed for another season #the opposite of cancelling the apocalypse #apocalypse gritty nostalgia-bait reboot #very clearly Gavilar apologism #*looks at the camera like it's the Office*

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savbeachy1 · 6 months

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Week 8 - Implementation

Upon watching this week’s recorded lecture video on implementation, I have devised a list of potential challenges my client may face while implementing my recommendations. My biggest takeaway from this week’s lecture is that no organization will perfectly be able to implement the principles of effective social media. What’s important is that as long as you’re constantly making an effort to adapt and evolve, while ensuring your goals, policies, and resources are aligned, is all that matters. The biggest challenge I see my client facing is continuing to manage and monitor his social media activity on his own. My client is extremely smart, but he's in his 70's and social media hasn’t played this big a role in his life/company before. Not saying it won’t change, because he has been putting a lot of effort into learning. Though right now he lacks the knowledge and expertise of mass collaboration and social media in general. He's on a steep learning curve, and he’ll have to intrinsically motivate himself to keep overcoming obstacles. Something that goes hand in hand with my previous foreseen challenge, is that since my client is so focused on learning how to use social media and the technology behind it. He may forget to prioritize achieving his company’s purpose through the collective behaviors that social media and technology make possible. I also feel that since he's still learning and very new to the whole idea of social media, he might lack the confidence to assign/create compelling purposes and content to his social media community. I worry he'll be so absorbed into the idea of just using social media the "right way" and remembering how to do things that he'll forget to come up with engaging and spontaneous content. With that being said, my client was a wonderful person to work with and I look up to them very much. He has worked so incredibly hard to follow my instructions, try new things, and step out of his comfort zone. I have no worries that he won’t be able to get the hang of things and use social media as a tool not a task!

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bustyasianbeautiespod · 9 months

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Episode 3.2 Transcript: Fumbling He/She/They David Tennant

[Garageband Good Omens theme song plays]

C: Hello! My name is Crystal.

G: And my name is Grey.

C: And this is Rubbish and Probably a Podcast, a Good Omens commentary podcast where I, someone who has seen this show too many times…

G: And I, someone who only knows this show through Crystal, discuss every single episode of Good Omens.

C: For today’s episode, we are discussing the second half of Season 1, Episode 3: “Hard Times.”

G: "Hard Times!" So last week, we discussed-

C: Four days ago or whatever, yeah.

G: Yeah, I guess so. We discussed the cold open, I guess is what you would call it, [C laughs] of Season 1, Episode 3. Now we shall discuss the plot, the present day, one day to the end of the world.

C: I mean, we open with- Basically, what happens is like, we had the cold open for half an hour, we have the title sequence, and then time like, rushes forward. Like, we get like, very rapid shots of like, everything that's happened up until the end of Episode 2, where Aziraphale goes like, "Sorry! Right number." I thank that that's sort of implies that all of that flashback was to sort of explain Aziraphale’s actions upon meeting the- like, knowing the address of the Antichrist, right?

G: I guess so.

C: Like, that is sort of the way that it's being framed to me. And I don't know if I got the takeaways that explain why Aziraphale's doing what he's doing, but like, it's an interesting concept. That all that was just to give context. Or maybe it's not even about explanation. Maybe it's like, "They have all this history, and Aziraphale still won't tell Crowley that he knows where Adam is." Like, it could go many different ways, but it sure does feel like that sometimes.

Before we go back to the scene, there's like, a shot of the outside of Aziraphale’s bookshop where we can finally read clearly the sign in the window. And I would like to read that out loud.

G: [laughs] Okay.

C: It says:

"Book Shop Opening Hours

"I open the shop on most weekdays about 9:30 or perhaps 10am. While occasionally I open the shop as early as 8, I have been known not to open until 1, except on Tuesday I tend to close about... 5:50pm? or earlier if something needs tending to. However, I might occasionally keep the shop open until 8 or 9 at night, you never know when you might need some night reading. On days that I am not in, the shop will remain closed. On weekends, I will open the shop during normal hours unless I am elsewhere. Bank Mondays will be treated in the usual fashion, with early closing on Wednesdays, or sometimes Fridays. (For Sundays see Tuesdays).

"A. Z. Fell, bookseller."

[G laughs] He does not want anyone to come in ever. God bless.

G: Literally, the thing about the 9 to 5 opening hours is that it's so anti-working class, but, you know what? A. Z. Fell, purveyor of books for the gentry, is anti-everyone. [laughing]

C: Exactly.

G: So it's okay. He's anti-working class or any class whatsoever.

C: Inside the shop, he's like, trying to figure out- why isn't any of this scene in the podcast guide, by the way?

G: I'm so sorry. I thought it was short, so I deleted it. [laughing]

C: Everything matters to me so much. Also, this is important! Like, this is like, all we get of his mindset before the bandstand, basically, right? Like, we need to analyze this shit.

G: We get- we get a lot from the Heaven scene.

C: Yes, sure fine. Whatever. Okay. So he knows where the Antichrist is now, right? And he decides that he should probably tell Heaven. Now, in the book we get a passage before this where it goes:

“He ought to tell Crowley.

“No, he didn't. He wanted to tell Crowley. He ought to tell Heaven. He was an angel, after all. You had to do the right thing. It was built-in. You see a wile, you thwart. Crowley had put his finger on it, right enough. He ought to have told Heaven right from the start."

And then, following that, it says:

“But he'd known him for thousands of years. They got along. They nearly understood one another.” "They nearly understood one another" - What a line! - “He sometimes suspected they had far more in common with one another than with their respective superiors. They both liked the world, for one thing, rather than viewing it simply as the board on which the cosmic game of chess was being played.

“Well, of course, that was it. That was the answer, staring him in the face. It'd be true to the spirit of his pact with Crowley if he tipped Heaven the wink, and then they could quietly do something about the child, although nothing too bad of course because we were all God's creatures when you got down to it, even people like Crowley and the Antichrist, and the world would be saved and there wouldn't have to be all that Armageddon business, which would do nobody any good anyway, because everyone knew Heaven would win in the end, and Crowley would be bound to understand.

“Yes. And then everything would be all right.”

God! He's such a silly, goofy guy, but like, I wish that we got more of this in the episode. Like, the idea that, like, that telling Heaven is true to the spirit of like, his pact with Crowley is such an interesting way for him to have spun it. 'Cause it's like, "Okay, I believe Heaven's gonna stop it. I can't tell Crowley, because technically, he's the enemy. But like, this is doing what Crowley would have done. This is like, doing the right thing to prevent the world from being ended."

G: It reminds me so much of what you said, I think in Episode 1 where Aziraphale does things and then, like, justifies those actions to himself to come to the conclusion that they're good. And this one has that vibe of like, him being like, "Oh, but surely it's the right thing to do," blah blah blah. And it's like, aw. You little guy.

C: Yeah. Though, I mean, I think he he does believe it.

G: Of course.

C: Like, he's good at deluding himself. And also, especially in the book, he doesn't have as much contact with Heaven, so he doesn't really know how much they suck as as much as show Aziraphale does, so like, I don't think that his conclusion is that unreasonable. Like, he absolutely should have told Crowley, but like, I get why he did what he did in the book. Why he did what he did in the show, less so!

G: Does the bandstand scene happen in the book?

C: No.

G: Ooh! Then all the- What's all this then? [both laugh]

C: Yeah. What is all this then? [screams] I mean, yeah, Neil Gaiman just said his fucking thing about how like, when he was writing, he was adapting it for TV, he just found that structuring it like a love story helped like, fill it out better and make more sense. God. Literally- like, finally giving into like, 30 years of your fans saying that this is the love story of all time just because you were like, "Well, it made it easier to write." Of course it would make it easier to write because they are in love, and you were stopping that from coming out on the page.

I mean, he also sort of character slanders both of them in the process of making them in love. But, you know, as I stated in our previous episode, I'm taking a new, mature approach where I just view them as completely separate characters.

So Aziraphale’s like, practising how he's gonna tell Heaven about all this. I mean, he's just being a silly goofy guy, honestly. In his practice, he tells them where Adam is, and he says, "I have his address, so we just have to... eliminate him now," and he does little, like, [laughing] punches on "eliminate" to demonstrate. And then he goes, "Then everything could still be okay." which I also really like as just a character moment of like, he views the world in its current state as like, good and fine, which, like, in Good Omens 'verse, it kind of is. And then, like, the point is like, to return to the status quo. And, like, "Everything can still be okay," is like, such a shaky place to be as well, but like, it's what he knows. Like, he can't even imagine like, a better world than this one.

He mentions the hellhound, which is where the scene cuts to the hound itself. And what God Narrator says is that the hellhound is experiencing different things than he thought he would during the last days. And God says, "Form shapes nature. There are certain ways of behavior appropriate to small dogs, which are, in fact, welded into the genes." And then she goes on to talk about like, him, trying to scare the cat and it not working. And I think this idea of form shapes nature is very interesting to me when you apply it to-

G: To Adam, yeah.

C: - Aziraphale and Crowley. [G laughing] And oh, to Adam too, sure. Yeah. I guess that guy's also there. [both laughing]

G: [laughing] I remember when Crystal was fucking making the cover photo for Episode 2, and they were like, "Ugh, I guess there's other characters in Good Omens as well." [laughs] That's literally what's happening right now.

C: Yeah, I think specifically, I was like, "I just made a stupid boring picture of the Them walking out of the ice cream shop because I feel like sometimes we have to acknowledge that there's other people there, too." [G laughs] And there are, and in the book I would say that I like more of the characters in a more even way, but in the show, they just clearly have made it the Crowley and Aziraphale show.

G: I've heard somebody say in the Good Omens books, Crowley and Aziraphale are just part of the story, as opposed to the TV show, where they are the story.

C: Okay, fine. We can talk about it in terms of Adam. It is interesting, like, you know, he's in the body of a young boy.

G: Like, even the evils that he does are based on-

C: Young boy evils right now, yeah. Back to talking about Aziraphale and Crowley [laughs], I mean, they're in human bodies. They've been in human bodies for 6000 years. They've had the same ones the whole time, because they've never been discorporated before, and like-

G: Is that true? They say that?

C: I think it's definitely heavily impl- At least I think it's heavily implied that Aziraphale’s never been discouraged before in a later scene. But, right, and they're like, the only angel and demon that I feel like have been stationed on Earth for this long and have been in their bodies for this long. I wonder if that has shaped nature. Because, like, there are a lot of times when they're in situations where, like, they could have miracled themselves out, but like, they don't. And like, whenever someone on fucking Tumblr asks fucking Neil Gaiman on fucking Tumblr about it, he always says something like, “Oh, well, they've just been on Earth for so long that they like, sometimes forget that they can do things in like, not the human way,” which I think is sweet.

G: Wow! A rare Neil Gaiman W.

C: [laughs] I mean, I think he is just covering up his plot holes with things that he knows the Tumblrinas will go crazy for. And you know what? It’s working. So that's about habits. But I also wonder if their bodies also shape what they recall themselves as being capable of or are comfortable doing.

So Adam walks by Jasmine Cottage, and he overhears Anathema being really upset about having lost the book. Like, she is picking up pots and smashing them against a bench, and like, yelling, like, "I can't believe it! 350 years, my family kept it safe. 350 years!" and she's crying and yeah. Sorry, girl.

G: Can I say something about Anathema's fashion sense?

C: Yeah.

G: And it's that we saw her as a child. Like, we saw her mom. We saw their house. They didn't dress or like, live in a house of this aesthetic. [C laughs] Which means that she like, chose this. She was like, "Well, I'm an occultist," as she puts it. "Well, I'm an occultist! I'm going to commit to the bit so hard." And she did. I love that.

C: And I love it. She looks great.

G: She does look great. Like, especially like, the dress and the boots combo later on when she's on the street. It's really wonderful.

C: Yeah. Yeah. All of her clothes are like, sort of like. like- she's got like, velvety dresses or like, blouses with skirts that like, have a lot of ruffles, and like, puffed sleeves. And her hair is like, always like, down, but like, part of it's up in a bun. Like, it's great. She looks amazing at all times.

G: And she has those beautiful big glasses.

C: Yeah. Very nice. Good for her.

G: Very nice!

C: Adam comes over to check in on her because he's a nice boy, and she tells him what was up. They have an exchange where he's like, a Charming Young Man in like, title case, in a way that like, verged on annoying for me. Like, his line about how like, "Oh, like, I wrote a book, and it was about a pirate who was a famous detective, and there was part of it in a spaceship where a dinosaur comes out and fights with the cowboys," like, it's too much, Neil Gaiman. It's too much. Like, you can't just cram every single “boy activity” you can think of [G laughs] into two sentences to just be like, "Here is a child. Isn't it funny that he's a child? Look! Cowboys, and detectives, and dinosaurs." Like, when I was 11, I kept my writings a lot more thematically tight than that.

Whatever. Adam can do whatever he wants

They introduce themselves to each other properly. She's, you know, upset about how some men in a car came and stole her book but didn't actually mean to steal her book. And Adam says, when asked if he lives here, he says, "This is my world, from Hogback Wood to the dip, and from the old quarry up to the pond." Which is, I think, is nice. I feel like they do a good job balancing like, Adam uncanny moments with like, Adam normal guy moments. They like, have a silly little misunderstanding about like, "Oh, you're like, in the yard of the cottage owned by the witch?" and she's like, "No, I live here," and he says, [laughing] "Look, excuse me for asking if it's not a personal question. But are you a witch?" And she like, goes like, "No! I'm an occultist." Yeah. they're both having a silly funny time. When they go inside, Dog is commanded by Adam to go inside, but there's a horseshoe over the door that's supposed to prevent like, demons and shit from going in, and Dog eventually acquiesces, which God says means that a little bit more of Hell burns away in the hellhound.

G: We are now in Shadwell's place, and Newton is there. He's looking around and sees a bunch of witch torture devices, and also Adultery Pulsifer's hat. Fun! I guess. He brings out a ledger of quote-unquote "members" of Shadwell’s Witchfinder Army. At first, the names in the ledger are completely normal names, like "Commander Williams" or whatever whatever, and as the list goes on it becomes more and more ridiculous. Like, Witchfinder Sergeant Milk Bottle, or like, Table or whatever. 'Cause it's all fake, and it's all fabricated, and Shadwell just invented all this crap. So we go to Shadwell, where Shadwell actually is, and it's in a restaurant where Crowley is meeting with him.

C: Did you notice Crowley's newspaper?

G: What's it say?

C: It's called The Infernal Times, and the stories are like, "Uptick in Exorcisms in blah blah blah City," like, he's reading like, the demon newspaper.

G: Right in front of a witchhunter. Love that for him.

C: Exactly. Love that.

G: I wrote in my notes, "We realize that Shadwell thinks Crowley is the son of the Crowley he met in the 60s." But I think many people have realized that before. But yeah. Crowley sends Shadwell to find Adam in Tadfield, and, you know, his details are quite limited. He just says, "There's a boy there. He's about 11, and he's in Tadfield. Look for anything suspicious." Also, he pays this guy 250 pounds. Is that a lot? Or is that not a lot?

C: I mean, it's not a lot, I think. Also like, later, Shadwell refers to it as annual dues, which like-

G: No, I think that one is different. That one is for- this one is for a job, and I think Aziraphale is just sponsoring this guy for no reason whatsoever. [laughs] Why is that? 'Cause like, we don't see how Aziraphale meets Shadwell. So could it be that the angels are supporting witchhunters? Like, even way back?

C: I think there is a passage in the book about it, but I don't remember.

G: Is Heaven pro hunting witches now? Is that the implication? Or did Aziraphale just hire these people for-

C: Oh, okay, here's the passage in the book. "Neither Aziraphale nor Crowley ran the Witchfinder Army, but they both approved of it, or at least knew that it would be approved of by their superiors. So it appeared on the list of Aziraphale's agencies because it was, well, a witchfinder army, and you had to support anyone calling themselves witchfinders in the same way that the USA had to support anyone calling themselves anti-Communist." [G laughs] That's the line in the book.

G: Shadwell is so annoying. Do you like him? I don't like him.

C: No. No one likes him.

G: I know we're not supposed to like him, but like-

C: We're supposed to find his behavior acceptable and just like, of a funny old man who doesn't know better, I think is sort of the vibe. But, like, I'm annoyed. Like, I don't find it admissible or whatever.

G: Yeah! No, it's just, you asked me if you think Shadwell and Crowley fucked-

C: In 1967.

G: - and I was like, “Well, that's an odd thing to say, isn't it?” Yeah. I mean, he calls Aziraphale a pansy, so maybe not.

C: He sure does. So yeah, probably not. I think this is only because I saw a fic of it once, and I was like, "Huh! What an interesting take. I wonder if anyone else will read that vibe in."

G: Well, I don't.

C: No. I think there's tension in their conversation in Soho, but I don't think that it is at all sexual, but I think it could be construed as such because all tension is made of the same material.

G: I mean, we'll get it- No, we we already got into it [laughs] last episode, but that scene is so- like, the way Shadwell is like, raising his hand and being like, "Oh, a while ago you must have noticed that I did this." And it's like, "Okay." [laughs] You know what I mean? Even then, he was unbearable.

C: Yeah. I appreciate this scene because it's like, "Crowley's not giving up hope" sort of shit. He says that he'll drop the money off for him on Saturday. It's hard for me- I can't tell if it's- It feels like a "Because I believe that we'll still be here on Saturday" sort of thing.

G: No, I think it's more of a-

C: - it doesn't feel like a "Oh, it doesn't matter. I can just promise you that because it won't be here." Or, what do you think?

G: I think it's the second one.

C: Okay. Yeah. Money doesn't mean anything to Crowley, though.

G: Money, yeah. The first miracle we see on screen is in the history of their life-

C: Oh, Aziraphale miracling a coin-

G: - in 1601, yeah.

C: We cut back to Anathema and Adam, and she's telling him about, like, her family history with occultism and shit. The camerawork on Anathema right now is quite odd. I feel like, of all the characters, she's the one that they have look directly into the camera like, framed very intensely a lot more often than the others. It's to give some kind of effect. I think the whatever effect works.

G: They're trying to make her, like, look intense. So it works, I guess.

C: Yeah, it works, I guess. She talks about ley lines, she talks about auras, says that she can see them for everyone, but for some reason, she just can't see [both] Adam's. But this doesn't really arouse her suspicion that much 'cause, well, you know, suspicion slides off him like water off a duck. And then she starts getting into- She says that school is an oppressive tool of the state. Real. [laughs]

G: Real.

C: And then she starts talking about like, just like, environmentalism stuff that like, is sort of on the border- or I don't even know exactly.

G: She started with "thing that is happening that is real" and then "thing that's a little bit 'girl, I what you're talking about?'" you know?

C: Yeah. Right. Like, “They're clubbing baby seals. They're cutting down the rainforest so you can get a cheap hamburger,” blah blah, "global warming, nuclear power," etc. And it's like, yeah, some of these things are real issues. And it's kind of weird that they're being lumped in with the other things. But oh well. I mean, I think all the talking points are things that I've seen in organizations that exist. I don't think they're opinions that are like, fringe opinions, necessarily. But like, that is what is up. Adam agrees with her that nuclear power stations suck, but he thinks that that's the case because there was nothing bubbling or green smoke, and no one was wearing a spacesuit. And Anathema's like, "Yeah, we need to get rid of all of them." And Adam's like, "Mm-hm. For not bubbling." And then she sends him off and she gives him, like- she says, "If you're interested in any of this stuff, I have some old magazines here." and she hands him a bunch of like-

G: Old. Old.

C: - copies of- old, old, old copies of The New Aquarian, this magazine. And, like, you see some glimpses of the headlines, and they're not related to this stuff! It's like, "Atlantis Discovered," like, "Kraken in the Ocean." And then, like, you know, my personal favorite, "Secret Tibetan Masters: The Facts From Fiction."

G: Yeah.

C: Which is like, "Okay, so we're just doing [both] Orientalism conspiracy theories here." And that's gonna be like, the same thing as global warming? O- I mean it's not like- The writer having all these things together isn't necessarily equating them. It's just like, for Anathema, there's a bit of a slippery slope from like, real problems into like, conspiracy theory shit or whatever. But like, I still- upon all my readings and my regards, I'm still just sort of confused about what they're going for here. And maybe they're not going for anything. Maybe they were just like, "This would be fun."

G: Yeah.

C: And sure. Maybe it would be fun. I mean, I have said that I'm kind of aware that Anathema and Newton will get together. I don't know how they would get together, like, to what degree, but damn, would they be an odd, odd couple. [laughs] Like, guy who joins a Witchfinder Army who like, promises to make you feel like a man or whatever and girl who reads all of this shit. Like, okay.

C: This is like, a small thing or whatever, but like, Anathema's race isn't specified in the book. In the show, I think, because of the raceblind casting like, she's Latina, and like, that doesn't change anything about her writing, which is like, how it goes with raceblind casting. You don't change your writing based off of the character's new ethnicity, but it would be nice if that was taken into account at all with like, her witchcraft and her beliefs. But, eh. Whatever. I do not expect such things from Neil Gaiman.

G: So we are now in Heaven, and Aziraphale is trying to tell the angels about, well, all of it. But he's having a hard time conveying this situation. 'Cause every time he says anything, it's with an air of, "Well, it's not impossible..." or "It might have..." or "It is a possibility..." Like, he is hedging all of his fucking bets. And yeah, he tells them like, "Oh, you know. I think maybe Hell has lost the boy," and like, they don't believe him, but he is like, "Oh, it's possible that the demon Crowley"--and then he laughs nervously, and he's like. "Oh, he's a wiley adversary. Keeps me on my toes, I tell you." [C laughs] And like, what is going on?

C: [laughing] Literally, friendship is too revealing, because this is how he fucking talks about her.

G: And he's like, "You know, I think that the fact that the ambassador's son is hellspawn may be a ruse, and that the Antichrist might be..." and then he pauses a bit, and you can see gears turn in his head. And instead of saying "Tadfield," he says, "Somewhere else."

C: Yeah. "Where?" is like, demanded of him, and he like, commits. He decides not to tell them. He says that he doesn't know. Which I think is- at what point do you think he decided that he didn't trust Heaven enough to actually say what he was rehearsing in the bookstore?

G: I was gonna say it's after he said that like, Hell has lost the boy, and they like, keep questioning him and being like, "No, no, no, that's not true." But like, even before that, he was already very hesitant and already acting like maybe he shouldn't say all these things, you know? So did he just get up there and immediately was like, "Oh, no, no, no, no!" but like, it's too late, he has to talk to them?

C: I don't think he was like, "I don't want to tell them anything at all." I think he was like. "Okay, I'll tell them, and they'll like, kill the boy or do something, and then we'll be fine." And then, like, he sorta gets up there, and he's like, "Oh, I don't trust these people. But like, I still need to see how I can save the world 'cause I don't want it to end, so like, I'm just gonna like, do all this bets-hedging and like, hypothetical stuff because I want to like, weigh my options. Like, what would Heaven do if I told them? And then I should go back and think about whether or not I should tell them."

G: Eventually, the angels say that like, it doesn't matter whether the Antichrist is somewhere else or not or someone else or not. There was a war before there was Earth, and there will be war again. And, you know, the angels walk out, leaves Aziraphale there. And as they walk towards the endless lobbies of Heaven, Gabriel stops the other angels and goes like, "What do you guys think of that?" And, you know, all of them are like, "We don't trust that guy." And one of them actually says that Aziraphale is an angel that has been down there too long.

I mean, we've seen Crowley talk to Hell, right?

C: Yeah. And like, basically exact same wording and tone of like, "I don't trust him."

G: Yeah. But like, I guess, with the demons, it was easier to like, "Oh, yeah, that's just how it is." Like, it's easier to think that because in your head, you're like, "Oh, they're demons. Well, of course they don't trust each other." But like, this kind of distaste and distrust for Aziraphale feels a lot more poignant and like, "Oh, there must be something up," like that kind of feeling. 'Cause then it's not just like, "Oh, angels are just like this." It's like, he's being treated differently.

C: I guess another- Again, back to trying to make the bandstand scene fit. I guess another way to read this is like, Crowley got Aziraphale to help because she was like, "Well, like, they can't actually be mad at you if you're like, thwarting me. Like, how do you know that thwarting me isn't part of the Divine Plan as well?" And like, every time Aziraphale's reported up there in the past like, it's definitely been heavily implied that they still want the war to go on, and that like, they're happy about it. But like, I feel like he never- They never explicitly say that. But like, here, he finally does it. He finally asks, like, "Well, there doesn't have to be another war, does there?" And they say like, "Yes. We want another war no matter what." And the way that I read it all the first times I watched it is like, "Well, this is like, about Aziraphale’s trust in Heaven being broken," etc, etc. But if I'm trying to fit fucking bandstand scene into here, like, maybe this is his trust that what he was doing was part of The Plan in the first place, like, that's the part that gets broken?

G: Yeah! Yeah. That makes sense.

C: He's like, "Oh, I've been doing the wrong thing this entire time. Like, I can't keep doing this."

G: It's not part of The Plan any more. Aw.

C: Yeah. And I feel that's the best way that I can understand his actions.

G: Yeah. I find it so fascinating also that the way Heaven dictates what needs to be done, it never is like, "You can't do this." Aziraphale is not denied anything. He's not denied food. He's not denied pleasures of the flesh or the whatever. [C laughs] He's not like- nothing is off-limits.

C: He's denying himself the pleasures of the flesh. [G laughs]

G: No, even what you said, right? Like, when he was like, "Oh, yeah, I'm doing all I can to stop the apocalypse," they were like, "Well, okay. It's fine, I guess." You know, like, he's

allowed to do anything. It's just that [laughs] there's one thing that he's not allowed or like, he has convinced himself that he's not allowed. That's the crux of it.

C: I think, yeah, I feel like for the stopping the apocalypse stuff, it was just like, the angels all believe in the Divine Plan so much and like, also don't believe in Aziraphale at all. So it's just like, "Oh, I mean, like, he can do whatever he wants 'cause like, it doesn't really hurt us in any way."

G: Yeah.

C: But I feel like at this point, they start being a little more wary.

G: Damn. Did they really think Aziraphale is so incompetent it's unreal? I mean, they better do, because he is. [both laughing] He literally is, though.

C: He's not that bad! [laughs] He's not that incompetent. But yeah, okay, for- Yeah. Maybe he is.

G: Maybe he is!

C: But so's Crowley, and that's what's important.

C: We go back to Anathema, and she's in town. She's seeing everyone's auras, and it gives me a headache to see through her eyes, so she must have a headache all the time. Maybe that's why she has such an intense gaze.

G: Oh, by the way, did you mention that the reason why-

C: Oh, the fucking- Sorry, I totally forgot the fucking zoom-out. Okay, I forgot. At the end of the Anathema and Adam scene- I actually quite like this scene. I don't know why I forgot it. God Narrator is like, "Anathema didn't really consider the-" sorry, let me find the actual line. Okay. "It might have helped Anathema to understand what was going on. If she understood the very simple reason why she couldn't see Adam's aura." And then it starts like, zooming out from Adam really really fast until we get to like, the entire globe, and she says, "It's for the same reason that people in Times Square can't see America." And we see that his aura is like, a giant red glow that covers, like, at least all of the UK, and then, like, a good amount of-

G: A bit more, yeah.

C: Europe and the ocean around. And I thought that was neat.

G: That was neat!

C: Good job, you did a visual, and it was cool. And it was cool to go to Heaven right after, because it does feel like "We're zooming out of Earth, and now let's go even up higher."

G: Yeah, I did find fascinating- When I first watched this, I didn't really catch the visual. I don't know why. Maybe I wasn't looking. The panning out and the aura being as big as an entire country, like, it didn't sink into me that that was what's happening. So I just didn't know what the fuck, like, Times Square America thing was about. Like, what was that about? And then I was like, "Ah. 'Cause like, America's so big. Whatever."

C: Yeah, I recall also not understanding it first time I watched it, [G laughs] and having to like, go on fucking Reddit and read someone's response about it. So I think this is a pretty common phenomenon, because I feel like the aura is like- I feel like it's hard to see the visual they presented and be like, "Oh, that, specifically, is Adam's aura." 'cause it sort of looks like, a regular glow that you might just put as an effect to be pretty on the Earth or something.

Anathema runs into R. P. Tyler, who is played by...

G: No idea.

C: Fleabag's dad!

G: Man, who give a shit about Fleabag's dad? Get Claire in here or get no one.

C: Fair. I just think every- I think I get excited whenever I see any Fleabag actor anywhere. Like, the rat tooth guy is in The Afterparty Season 1, and that was exciting to see.

He's neighborhood watch. and he's very suspicious, very grumpy. He thinks that Anathema is "casing the joint" for what? Who even knows? And he very much doesn't like that she is American. She asks him to help her find the Antichrist. She goes like, "11 years ago, something came to this village. Some sort of beast or creature. And if you're neighbourhood watch, maybe you noticed." And she does this thing where she like, smiles and like, taps him on the chest at the end of that, which is like, is she like, trying- I mean, it's like, a flattery thing, but it also just looks like flirting or something weird that, like, she's trying on him to get him to answer the question. Like, I found it quite jarring. And like, I don't know. I feel like I've always read an Anathema as an aromantic lesbian, and like, this move really helps solidify that for me. Like, she's like, "I have to ask this man a question. Well, from all my YouTube tutorials that I watched about persuasion and flirting and things like that, I think I should do this." Like, her mannerisms are like, a bit unsettling, or like, just off during this interaction, and I think it's because she's an aromantic lesbian to me.

And he thinks that she's high, so he has a funny little line where he's like, "Tadfield is a perfectly respectable village. If you're coming here to smoke your fatty spliffers and bimble off to woo woo land, then I suggest that you go elsewhere. Like, back to America!" Anathema's not even American in the book.

G: Really?

C: Yeah.

G: What is she?

C: I think she's just like, British.

G: But like, she did move to the village, right? C: Yeah, but from like, elsewhere in the UK.

G: Ah, okay.

G: So we go back to Shadwell’s place, and Newton is still there, looking over the paper, cutting out pieces of strange occurrences and whatnot, and the phone in the hall rings, and Madame Tracy is the one who answers it. And it is Aziraphale, but he's looking for Shadwell. He calls himself Shadwell’s "sponsor," which, you know, we've talked about a while ago. And he asks Shadwell to poke around Tadfield, and, you know, Shadwell’s like, “Okay." Aziraphale starts talking to Shadwell about the deceased Major Milk Bottle. And I don't like this in that, like, he's not stupid. Don't do that to him. Or do you think this is in character?

C: I mean, for the show character where he fell for the the 1941 stuff, and he's explicitly called gullible, I feel like Neil is just continuing a thing that he decided.

G: He sends over the name and address, and they hang up, and Shadwell just goes. "Ugh. Great Southern pansy!"

C: Yeah.

G: Wow

C: Wow! I guess a few things- the fact that Aziraphale, like, he went to Heaven, and they were like, "You're going against The Plan," and that he still did this is like, pretty cool of him. Like, I think it's just his thing where it's like, his actions are based off of his feelings, but his words are based off of his thoughts, which are all like, Heaven-poisoned and stuff. He hasn't given up on doing this at all. Like, he's still sending Shadwell there. But also, he's sending Shadwell there just to monitor Adam. Like, this is like a- I guess this is like, an information gathering step for him still. He's like, "I haven't given up yet, but like, I still won't really act." But, you know, good for him for not giving up yet. Second, we also got some more Shadwell and Madam Tracy interactions before he gets on the phone. And it just continues to be annoying. Like, I just don't- I don't like it. I don't like this dynamic. It's just like, we learn now that, like, she like, cooks all his meals for him and like, brings them over to his apartment, and he eats them. And like, he's still just going on like, doing nothing but like, being like, incredibly whorephobic to her at all times? I just- I don't like the idea that this character- I just don't like Shadwell as a concept. As like, the old man who's like, old-fashioned and like, cranky. But, like, you know, everyone around him still tolerates it and thinks it's okay, 'cause he's just silly or whatever. I'm annoyed about it. In the book - like, they take this out - but like, it's like, he has - his landlord are, I think, Bangladeshi, and like, he's like, racist towards them, and stuff like that. And then there's a passage about how like, "You know, despite all of this, people just can't help but like Shadwell." And it's like, no? No!

G: That's so not true. I can help it.

C: No. I don't like him. No one likes him. Stop trying to portray him as likable. It's annoying. I'm annoyed. Sorry, Madame Tracy.

Okay, I guess third thing, this is the first time Aziraphale gets homophobiaed in the show, right? We've talked about his first book homophobia, but, you know, just to note that like, maybe if Neil wanted to clarify that they can never be gay because they're not men - apparently you have to be a man to be gay - he should have taken out all the times that he experiences homophobia that is specific to like, being a gay guy or just a gay person who is masc-leaning. Perhaps that would help your case, Neil Gaiman.

G: Neil really said, like, "Everybody in the world sees him as gay, and he may as well be, but he isn't!" Like, girl, come on.

C: Yeah. It's very important to me that Aziraphale, like, chooses how he looks, he chooses his presentation, and he chooses his voice, 'cause like, these are all things that are not like, really part of Heaven. Like, he decided them. And like, he decided that, like, he was going to present as like, the gayest guy ever.

G: Yeah.

C: So like, he is gay. Like, that's how he self-identifies.

G: And I don't think he's stupid that he doesn't realize how the world sees him.

C: Yeah, he absolutely knows. So what's up?

G: Anyway, Shadwell goes into his flat, and, you know, Newton tells him that like, "Oh, I have some interesting findings. There's a town in Oxfordshire that always has picture perfect weather for the last 11 years," and for some reason Shadwell was like, "I don't give a shit." [C laughs] God. This guy's not only horrible, he's also stupid.

C: That's true. He managed to scam Aziraphale and Crowley for... um, 1967, 2016- I don't know math. 49? 49 years?

G: Hell yeah.

C: Hell yeah.

G: Newton is, you know, trying to get Shadwell to agree, but Shadwell's saying like, "Oh, find some real witch phenomenons, boy." So yeah.

C: Yeah. I'm interested in the fact that it's been happening for the last 11 years. Because the idea about Tadfield and the ways that Adam has changed it is that sort of it's like his unconscious desires coming out and shaping reality. Like, are you telling me that, like, as an infant, he was like, "I really want it to snow on Christmas Eve." How would he know what Christmas is?

G: Yeah, he's already aware. Yeah.

C: But yeah, I also do like the concept. Like, just the ways that, like, you as a young boy who like, reads stories and like, has an idealized view of the world would like, create the weather. Like, that's neat. Some neat detail.

C: We cut to a new scene in Des Moines, where we are meeting Famine. So I guess this is like, the point where- two main thoughts about this part. One part, positive, is that our criticism of War the last episode was sort of around, like, "You wrote like, a funny book, and then, like, you were like, 'For this war section, I will just do actual war in like, an area that the West generally views as war-torn and like, removed from itself. And I'm just gonna do that and be like, sort of racist about it.'" And we both were like, "If you're gonna do the Horsemen, get a little jiggy with it." And I think that Famine being portrayed as like, a restaurant owner who like, manufactures diet food or things like that that like, leave people hungry is indeed getting jiggy with it. So I do appreciate that. I think on the negative end, there is just general discomfort around probably, like, any possible casting for any of the Horsemen ever, just because these characters are representative of a concept more than they are people. Like, I feel like every other character on the show, like, I sort of get a personality from them. I feel like War and Famine so far have just been like- they are just representative of the concept that they are. And I think that casting Famine as a Black man can just automatically feel iffy because of the whole like, "There are children starving in Africa," like, thing that I feel like I grew up hearing. I feel like a lot of people in the West grew up hearing.

G: Well, the thing is, you know, this Famine is so far removed from that-

C: Yeah. I agree with that.

G: - so I don't particularly see it in that way. I think, like, the casting is good in that I like the way it's acted. Like, I think this guy does a good job of being like, a sophisticated yet smarmy business guy who is making this diet food that he thinks is so great even though it's so bad.

C: Agreed, yeah. He's a fun time. I guess just at this, I just want to like, briefly mention, like, three moments- Like, now that we're talking about raceblind casting, I want to briefly mention three moments that race is specified in the casting in the scriptbook for this episode. First one, with the angels, it's specified that they're meant to be of multiple races and multiple genders to like, give more that like, universal, they could be anyone, blah blah vibe. Which I think is like, good, and I think, is like not achieved that well, given that it's just like, white people and then Uriel.

G: The two angels we see the most of at this point is, well, Sandalphon and Gabriel, aside from, you know, obviously, Aziraphale. Like, all three of them are white [laughs], so like-

C: White men. Yeah. I don't know how well that was achieved, but I appreciate the sentiment. I appreciate that it was something that was thought about.

The second time that race is mentioned in the scriptbook for this episode is for Rome in the flashback sequence. Specifically, he specifies that the bartender is to be "Female and Black, with attitude." That one I feel a lot less positively about. It feels very much just like, "Let's get a sassy Black woman in here." And I can see why part of it would be about like, showing that there were people of color in ancient Rome, which is a very like, whitewashed part of history that, like, white supremacists, are really into, etc etc. But like, why "with attitude"? Something to ask. And then the third one, I'm not really sure if there's a purpose to it, or like, what the deal is there, but Neil specifies that Spike, who is the man that Crowley is talking to about the Soho heist before Shadwell shows up, is supposed to be Black and also like, wearing fancy clothes. I briefly tried to see if this was like, a reference to an actual historical figure or something, and the words “dangerous spike,” which is what he is called in the script, they don't really show me anything on Google, but it's possible that it's a reference that I'm missing. If anyone knows, let me know.

Back to Famine. The deal here is, you know, he's Famine. He's called Dr. Raven Sable. We first meet him with his assistant in a fancy restaurant where, like, there's no food, it's just like, froth and lavender-scented air and all that. He sort of says, like, excitedly to his assistant, like, "I've never seen a room full of rich people so hungry before." It's fun. He is a fun character. And then we meet his restaurant chain, which is like, some- I think it's like, Burger Lord is what it's called in the book? But they serve CHOW, which is not food. It's an edible substance that is completely artificial and designed so that your digestive enzymes ignore everything that is in them while it continues to taste like food. There's not too much to say. Like, cool concept. I think that in the book, they tie it a little bit closer to diet culture than they do in the show. But like, I'm fine with this scene.

G: Yeah, like, the only tie-in here is really the towards the end when he goes, "It's good for people who are trying to lose weight.Or all their other organ system usage." And I was like, "Oh, that's pretty funny." Like, "Can cause weight loss and kidney failure." So fucking true!

C: Sure can.

Oh, also, there's like, a bit where Elvis is working in the diner and singing along to "Hound Dog."

G: I don't understand that. Like, I understand that like, that's Elvis. Like, that's pretty much the the capacity at which I understand it. What's the bit about?

C: The bit, I think it's supposed to be a reference to the book. Because in the book it talks about the magazine that War is a journalist for, and there's like, a line that was like, "Oh, it like, published like, random bullshit all the time like, it said that something happened with like, Jesus, and something happened with whatever, and that Elvis was working as a fry cook in Des Moines, and only one of those was true." Like, I think it's just a Easter egg for book people. Maybe it's like, an actual Elvis conspiracy that exists, but I don't know. I don't know what people think about that guy.

G: Mm-hm.

C: But yeah, the delivery person, he shows up and he hands Dr. Sable a package, and it is a tiny little set of measuring scales. And Famine's very like, entranced by the whole thing, and he tells his assistant to cancel all of his appointments for the foreseeable future

G: Me after watching Season 1, Episode 3. [laughs]

C: You did do that.

G: I did do that. You guys will not believe the amount of moving around I did in my calendar to accommodate "thinking about Good Omens" time. [both laughing] It was crazy.

So we're on back to Shadwell's place, and Newton is there, and he has done even more research or whatnot, and he is still trying to convince Shadwell that the weather thing is relevant and important. And he's like, "Maybe I should go to Tadfield. Like, I'll check it out. Just a quick nip, and like, I'll even get my own petrol!" And like, the moment he said that, I was like, "Well, of course Shadwell's sending him. But like, is he gonna make the kid pay for his gas?" Don't do that, Shadwell. But knowing this guy, he probably did.

C: Oh, absolutely.

G: Anyway, Shadwell is like, “Is the place you're talking about Tadfield?” And when Newt was like, "Yeah." he tells, "Okay, you can go, but like, come back tomorrow at 9 so that you can get your armor of righteousness." Wonder what that is.

C: Wonder what that is.

G: Wonder what that is.

C: It's not even important.

G: It's not?

C: I don't even remember. It's that unimportant.

G: Yeah.

C: [laughs] Maybe it is. Who knows? I don't remember other characters in the show?

C: So Crowley calls Aziraphale, but in the scriptbook, there is a scene before that that doesn't get put in. And, I mean, it's not very important, but it matters to me. And what happens is just- Is it so obvious that I'm just scrolling really fast trying to find it right now while I'm talking? [both laugh] [groans] Where is it?

It's a brief, no dialogue scene in Crowley's bedroom, and it's a montage of him trying to fall asleep. And he's like, lying on the bed, and then the wall, and then the ceiling.

G: Aww!

C: And then- I know! And then it's- yeah. And then, like, it's them, like, putting on their glasses while hanging off the ceiling, and then like, pacing throughout the flat and watering their plants. And then she calls Aziraphale. Which, I would have liked to see it. It would have been nice. That was cute, and it's also a way of showing the stress that both of them are under because I feel like it's important to remember how stressed they are when you're analyzing the bandstand scene. But oftentimes, I forget how stress they are and how the world is literally going to end, because they're like, too busy being like, silly and funny, you know what I mean?

G: Yeah. Last episode. I said that "Oh, the shouting at the plants scene," blah blah blah. Now I do think that like- no, yeah, he's having a rough time. [both laugh] Like, give him a break.

C: [laughs] Yeah. Yeah, she's having a rough go of it.

G: Literally, she's having a rough time. Give her a break.

C: They call Aziraphale. It's like, Aziraphale POV of getting the call.

G: Yeah. Maybe that is the reason why?

C: Yeah, maybe that's why this scene was removed? 'Cause it's like, "This is our Aziraphale episode." They tell him to meet them at the third alternative rendezvous, and apparently, their third alternative rendezvous- like, their rendezvous include the old bandstand, the #19 bus, which I think is where they met after their Heaven and Hell meetings in Episode 1, and the British Museum cafe, which we haven't seen. And Crowley's like, "Ugh. I'm trying to be like, secretive here. Okay, it's the bandstand. I'll be there in fifteen." And you know what? She sure will be there in fifteen.

So we get, like, this crane shot of like, Aziraphale walking to the bandstand-

G: And Crowley's already there, yeah.

C: And Crowley's already there, which is sort of a reverse of a lot of the flashbacks where Aziraphale’s already there, and then Crowley shows up. I do wonder if the any of the crane shots are supposed to indicate God watching, or if it's just to look cool.

G: I think maybe if they really wanted to indicate that God was watching, they would have thrown a narration line or other.

C: That's true. I mean, there'd be no lines to narrate given that none of this shit is on the book, though.

G: Oh, yeah! Is it implied that it happens in some way in the book? Like does the rest of the story add up?

C: No. No, not really. No. I don't think this happened in the book. I don't think this would happen in the book.

G: They're different people, yeah.

C: Yeah, they're different people. He shows up, and Crowley asks about news. Aziraphale's nervous, lying, etc. Because Crowley's like, "Oh, yeah, so do you have the missing Antichrist's name, address, and shoe size yet?" And Aziraphale's like, "Shoe size. Why would I have his shoe size?"

G: You know, I'm so impressed with you, Crystal, that you don't even attempt to do any of the accents.

C: No, god.

G: Which is- yeah! I mean, Crowley speaks in such a certain way, doesn't he?

C: Yeah. And I'm gonna break my heart by proving to myself that I can't ever be him.

G: [laughs] Ah, okay.

C: But yeah. I will never do a voice, ever ever ever. And Crowley should call me, and I would treat her so much better than Aziraphale ever could. I would never, ever fumble he/she/they goth David Tennant. [G laughs] But anyway, so, Crowley's like, "I was- I was joking. I also have nothing." And at Crowley saying that she's got nothing. Aziraphale says, “It's the Great Plan, Crowley.” Which means, like- First off, Aziraphale has the information. He's choosing not to tell it. And now he's telling Crowley, "God wants you to not know shit."

G: Yeah.

C: [laughs] What a rude thing to do.

G: The discussion we had about what book Aziraphale was thinking was, I think it could be applied here, but I doubt it. Especially later on in this scene, where it's very evident that Crowley really, really, really wants to stop the apocalypse and doesn't seem to be beholden by any obligation to Hell whatsoever anymore.

C: Mm-hm. Yeah.

G: So I have no idea what Aziraphale’s thinking.

C: I mean, I guess, like, what he means is just like, "God doesn't want us to be able to stop it, and maybe we shouldn't." But like, I also don't know if that's what he means.

G: Why does he think that?

C: I mean, I guess he just had a really bad meeting with his boss. I get it. [both laugh] But like, I also don't.

G: Yeah.

C: It's odd. It's very odd. But also, like, I guess I have to remember that this betrayal already happened last episode when he chose not to tell Crowley about the book, and then lied to them on the phone already. Like, it's happened. This is maybe just him sticking to his guns. But then I wonder why it happened last episode as well. Like, why didn't he? I mean, like, was this even- like, was this a fucking longcon? Was it like, "I will work with you, but if I find anything that's like, truly, truly important and confidential. I just won't tell you"? How long did he know that he didn't- that he wouldn't trust Crowley enough? Or that he couldn't trust Crowley enough? 'Cause like, I mean, I think when you go into panic mode like, there are mindsets you can revert to, and one of those is just like, "I don't know anything. Anything I do could fuck everything up forever. So I should just do what I'm told by Heaven."

G: Yeah.

C: So, like, okay. But like, he's also calling Shadwell and telling him to keep an eye on Adam. Like, what's up? I mean, it's fine to have contradictory statements and contradictory actions, 'cause that is-

G: What it's like, yeah.

C: - sort of how one shows, like, your internal strife. And like, maybe he doesn't like, mean anything he's saying right now. 'Cause like, I think he doesn't mean some of it.

G: Of course.

C: But I just find it difficult to understand why. Because I'm not an Aziraphale understander.

G: And I guess neither am I, even though I hesitate to say the words "love" [laughs] when referring to his feelings for Crowley [C laughing] for no fucking reason.

C: Do you feel comfortable saying that Crowley loves Aziraphale?

G: Yeah, I think so. He really does, though, is the thing.

C: Wow, okay. Yeah, he really does.

Yeah, okay, so yeah, you truly are- you can be Aziraphale-coded [G laughs] without understanding everything, I suppose.

G: This well may be.

C: So Crowley sorta shouts toward the sky like, "For the record, great pustulent mangled bollocks to the Great blasted Plan!" in a yeah overhead shot that I think is kind of silly.

G: I think it's fine.

C: She kind of just looks silly to me. But like, maybe it's just about the futility of shouting at God when She don't give a shit. Sorry, when She DGAF.

G: She DGAF. Yeah.

C: And then Aziraphale goes, “May you be forgiven.”

G: What is all this, then? What is all this?

C: What is all this, then? I can understand intellectually that he still loves God and has a strong faith in her, but, like, [laughing] I don't think I've seen anything from him that implies that this is true.

G: Okay. Do you think like, after the conversation with Gabriel, Aziraphale just has lost hope. 'Cause that can be a way to look at it. Like, now, it's like, he just understands that it's going to happen, and this is all gonna end with him and Crowley on opposite sides, so might as well not engage. Might as well not like, hope for anything else. Might as well just tell Crowley, like, "Well, I hope you be forgiven." You know, like-

C: Yeah.

G: 'Cause the thing is, maybe if I see how he acts next episode, I'll understand it more or like, have confirmation or rebuttal over this, but I think that could be a way to look at it right now.

C: I suppose so. Especially 'cause okay, like, where it goes next is Crowley goes, "I won't be forgiven, not ever. That's part of a demon's job description. Unforgivable. That's what I am."

G: He goes, "That's hwhat," and I love it so much. It's completely irrelevant to anything.

C: No, it's cute.

G: I love it when people say the wh, and then they pronounce it-

C: As an hw, yeah. Same. And Aziraphale goes, "You were an angel once." And Crowley goes, "That was a long time ago." So okay, so- is the idea, like- Okay, like, "It's hopeless. We're gonna be fighting on a war on opposite sides... Come back to Heaven?" Is that an interpretation? Like, "Come back to Heaven. We'll win. I'll keep you safe." like, what- Is that it?

G: I don't think it is. It's just an- actually, maybe.

C: There is a fun part in the book where both of them ask the other one, "Hey, do you think your people would give me asylum?" "I was literally just about to ask you the same thing. Probably not." "Okay. Well, we're screwed." But like, the show versions would just like, literally never do that 'cause they're worse. [laughs] I didn't say that. But- "You were an angel." I just don't- I don't like- Okay, what does that mean? Like, "Once you had faith in God and The Great Plan, and like, you would just let things happen"? Or like, "Once, you were a 'good' person," even though, like, she is a good person all the time, and it's like, independent from her nature.

G: I don't know. It's like- it's a response to like, "I won't be forgiven. It's what I am." So maybe it's "Who you are has changed. You were an angel once. It doesn't have to be this way always, and like, I mean, you were an angel. You were not supposed to rebel, or whatever it is you did to Fall, but you did. And you're a demon, you're not supposed to be forgiven, but maybe you will be."

C: Okay. That's a nicer interpretation. I'll let that happen.

G: Okay.

C: Crowley's like, "Okay, like, we can find the boy. My agents can find him." Which, I know that they aren't seeing the signs coming up every time they show up on screen that say "One day before the end of the world," so like, they probably think they have more time than they have. But I do think that this is like, such a recklessly optimistic thing for Crowley to say. And like, I don't know- I don't think that they believe it here necessarily. I think they're like, sort of grasping at straws. But is nice just to see that both of them are still- or at least Crowley is still trying- and Aziraphale is still trying because he called Shadwell- that both of them are still trying, despite all of this.

G: Yeah.

C: Thanks, guys. Aziraphale is like, “Okay. And then what? If we find the boy, like, what? We eliminate him?” which is the same language that he used when he was practicing for Heaven, wherein he seemed a lot more up for that to happen. But I guess just in the time being he's just, I don't know, thought about what it's like to kill an 11-year-old and gone, "Maybe not"? I don't really know what the deal is, necessarily. And then Crowley goes, "Well, somebody does. I'm not personally up for killing kids." [laughs] Which is incredibly funny of her to say, I think. But like, very consistent with like, everything where it's just like, "I don't want to be directly responsible, but I do need the world to be safe." And I spent so much of Episode 1 being like, “Aziraphale’s so nice for never suggesting that Crowley do it!” but unfortunately-

G: [laughs] He does do it, yeah.

C: - Aziraphale's niceness has a- It's over. It's crover, as the kids say. He goes, "You're the demon. I'm the nice one. I don't have to kill children. If you kill him, then the world gets a reprieve, and Heaven does not have blood on its hands." What even goes on?

G: I mean, Heaven is going to allow the world to burn. Obviously, blood in their hands is not a concern.

C: Yeah. He literally like, just talked to Sandalphon, who did Sodom and Gomorrah.

G: Yeah. We just saw Noah's ark.

C: Yeah. I mean, I just- I guess the idea is like, I mean, Aziraphale means like, "I don't want blood on my hands."

G: Yeah, pretty much.

C: But like, he's sort of hiding behind the company label, the "I'm not consulted on policy decisions" label in order to like, bring the focus off of him, I suppose is what's happening. And I understand that, I suppose. But god, don't ask Crowley to do it. That's so mean! [laughing] I know I have literally nothing to say to Crowley telling Aziraphale to do it. Like, I literally don't give a shit that Crowley did that. [both laughing] But Aziraphale, how could you??! That's so mean!

G: [laughs] Yeah.

C: I mean, Aziraphale's not the one who likes children, so.

G: No, but only because when Crowley says it, it's like, "Ah, maybe you should do it." But like, there's no real bite to it.

C: Yeah. And Aziraphale's like, [laughs] "You are broken to your core due to Falling from Heaven. Go kill that child so I don't have to."

G: Yeah.

C: I don't know. I guess panic just does things to you. It simply just does things to you.

And then Crowley goes like, "Oh, no blood on your hands. That's a bit holier than thou, isn't it?" And Aziraphale goes, "I am a great deal holier than thou. That's the whole point." which, I mean, you know, that's just him continuing his thing, but like, boy, does it- boy is it not fun to watch it happen. Crowley is funny again, thank god, by saying, "You should kill the boy yourself. [both] Holily." And, I mean, both of them are like, "Okay, we're at an impasse. Fucking hate talking to you right now. This sucks." Crowley, like, gets like, an insult in, which I feel like is not rare, but like, does hurt a bit more here where they're just like, "This is ridiculous. You're ridiculous. I don't even know why I'm still talking to you."

I mean, this is quite similar to their breakup in St. James's Park, I would say, but it feels so much bigger 'cause we don't know that they'll come back from it, and it's also about something bigger, and it sure is an experience to watch.

Crowley decides that she's leaving. What is Crowley's plan on leaving? Like, do you think they have one at all, or do you think they're just like, "I just can't deal with this emotionally right now."

G: I don't think they have a plan.

C: Yeah. Sorry to these people. And Aziraphale says, "You can't leave, Crowley. [both] There isn't anywhere to go." [laughing] What an insane thing to say! Also, the way that he says Crowley's name, like, I feel like- like, the syllable emphasis is a little different than it usually is, and it makes it sound a lot more defeated than it usually is, and that was a good line delivery. But it's like- I mean, like, clearly, there's somewhere to go. Like, not here. But it's like, in the end, it is all going to be burnt up.

Is this a little bit Aziraphale asking him to stay? What is he trying to achieve with this line?

G: That they die together in this rock? [laughs] I don't know.

C: [groans] Maybe so. Like, yeah, I don't know. Just the idea that, like, this world is like- I mean, like, "the fact that it's about to end makes it small, and there's nowhere for you to be besides here with me" is definitely a thing that Aziraphale could say. And did he say it? Maybe.

G: I think it's a continuation of the whole like, throughout all this, Aziraphale has completely reverted to, "It's The Plan. It's The Plan. It's The Plan." And it's like, "There's nowhere else to go" is like, we'll still have to- we still have to follow The Plan, because The Plan is what it is."

C: Yeah, we still have to play our roles.

G: Yeah, like, "There isn't anywhere to go" is less about like, location or whatever, and it's more about like, fate. We are fated to do this, so let's just not fight it.

C: Yeah. Yeah. This is so miserable!

Okay. And there is a scriptbook direction that I don't think is really played out at all in the show. But I do just wanna read it. After this line, it says, "Crowley looks back. He looks at Aziraphale. Above them, a beautiful starry sky. And Crowley softens." And then that's when the "Let's run away together" line is supposed to happen. [laughs] Anyone feeling crazy today? [G laughs] Anyone feeling really crazy today?

G: It really is a big universe. And we can go off together.

C: That is what he says. And Aziraphale goes, "Go off... together? Listen to yourself."

G: And, wait wait wait. The "Go off together," it was like, he's silent for a while, and he goes, "Go off... together?" and the camera does a zoom-in that, like, we all know. We've all seen this zoom, and it's like, "Oh, they're in love."

C: Mm-hm!

G: Like, that's literally- that's what the zoom is trying to tell us. And it's so fascinating because, like, his face changes, too. You know, he's been very upset this entire time, but there is like, a moment of like, hope a little bit when he says this. Like, "Go off together?" like, he's realizing that, like, that is an option. And the next line is, it pans to Crowley, and Crowley is standing in this, like, position where he's opening his arms and being like, "Eh? Eh?" like, that kind of vibe. And it feels like- like, he looks like, "See? Like, there is a way out of this." Like, he looks so- he looks so happy with himself that he has figured out a way to game the system. And then, Aziraphale goes, "Listen to yourself." Moments in a TV show, I guess. [both laugh]

C: Yeah. Yeah. I don't know if Crowley's happy with himself. I think he's just really desperate. But like, this is, I think- okay, yeah, I think this is a moment of hope for Crowley to like, "Everything's gonna be terrible forever, but like, maybe we'll get this one way out that sucks ass and involves the entire destruction of the earth, but, like, hey. At least we won't lose each other, maybe." But yeah, yeah. God, I love the sentence, "Listen to yourself." 'Cause like, Aziraphale doesn't have a real reason to say no. That's like, the sentence you say when it's like, "This feels wrong and bad, but I don't know why it feels wrong and bad. But surely, you must know that it is wrong and bad because of how I am currently feeling." Like, man. What a guy!

G: And also it recontextualizes it from like, "Crowley wants the world to not end" to "Crowley wants to get out of here with me." Which are very different things.

C: Yeah, though I would say that this is just a last resort thing-

G: Of course.

C: - and that Crowley still wants to save the world. But yeah. But the idea that, like, he can live on without the world, but he can't live on with- [laughing] I don't even- that's too corny, I'm not even gonna say that! I'm gonna die!

G: [laughing] It's so crazy corny, but this is really what happens! Like, this is really what's happening! [C screams]

C: Anyway! So! Honestly, they'd be fucking miserable in space together. Thank god they don't end up in space together.

G: Literally, there won't be any crepes there, and, you know, Aziraphale's gonna get peckish.

C: Yeah. And tetchy, even.

G: And tetchy, even.

C: So Crowley make sort of like, a pleading gesture, and she goes, "How long have we been friends? 6000 years." [screaming]

G: From the very beginning. Crowley thinks they've been friends from the very fucking beginning.

C: Since Eden! She slithered here from Eden just to hide outside his door, and also to go inside his door and drink wine with him and be his best friend forever and ever! Aghhh. God! It's so so so so so so sick. Aziraphale rejects this by like, an obvious lie. And like, it's even obvious to Crowley that it's a lie. Where he goes, "Friends? We're not friends. We are an angel and a demon. We have nothing whatsoever in common. I don't even like you!" And Crowley goes, "You dooo." Like, man. What is going on in here?

G: "I don't even like you." is truly a line to say there. [both laughing]

C: Like, he's just flopping about for the most puerile, like, insult that he can like, come up with. Like, he's uninviting Crowley from his birthday party! [laughs]

G: Yeah, literally like, [bratty child voice] "I don't even like you! We're not friends anymore!" like a fucking eight-year-old. Like, okay.

C: But like, still, just to say it is still like- it's still something. It's definitely still something. But I'm glad that Crowley, like, is not affected by this obvious lie at all. Like, I'm glad that Crowley has sort of this whole time been the one who has trust in their friendship.

G: Yeah.

C: What with never suspecting Aziraphale lied to them and like, calling him his friend.

G: Also, I like that it's like, "We are not the same," and then the follow-up is, "I don't even like you." as if, like, "We are not the same" can be saved by "Well, but you like me." But like, "No, I don't even like you!" It's so childish, but I get what's going on in his head when he is, I think, trying to convince Crowley and himself that this is how he feels. It's like, in his head, it's like, "We are- friends, we're not friends!" And he's like, "Why are we not friends?" "Because we're an angel and a demon. We have nothing in common." "But you like him!" "I don't even like you!" [both laughing] I can very clearly see the thought process behind this fucking barrage of comments.

C: Yeah, he's just like, desperately trying to burn this bridge in like, the clumsiest way possible, and like, he can't even do it, because, like, he's already like, soaked everything that he's trying to light on fire with, like, the water of how much they are definitely friends who like each other. Also, just the word "friend" in Good Omens in general is so something. 'Cause the thing is, I feel like we didn't even think about it. In Episode 2, like, Aziraphale on the phone calls Crowley his friend. But specifically, he goes like- it's to lie. Like, he goes like, "Oh, I mean, we're friends! Of course if there's anything, I would tell you!" as he like, goes back to perusing Agnes Nutter. And then he wouldn't call Crowley his friend, like, in 1601. So it's just, the way that he- like, they both know it's true, but Aziraphale will just like, add and subtract the label whenever it's the most easy for him. What a guy. What a guy. They're all crazy, I'm crazy, everyone's crazy

Finally, Aziraphale's like, "Also, even if I did know where the Antichrist was, I wouldn't tell you, 'cause [both] we're on opposite sides." And Crowley goes, "We're on our side." And then Aziraphale says, "There isn't an our side, Crowley. [both] Not anymore."

G: Not anymore.

C: "It's over."

G: It's over!

C: This is so Soho where the rejection includes the acknowledgement that something was there at all, you know?

G: Yeah. Like, you can't reject something that wasn't being offered! Like- [pained sounds]

C: Yeah. The scriptbook says, "Crowley takes a deep breath, as if he's going to keep talking, and then he lets it all go." Oh, it's so sad! I'm so sad.

G: Crowley has, you know, the way he says things. He really does like, make a bunch of noises and goes like, "[shaky] Uhh," you know.

C: Yes.

G: Here, he goes like, "Right. Well, then." and then he like, stays there and goes, "Nuh." [laughs] Like, he literally just goes, "Uh." And I love it so much. And he starts walking away.

C: Yeah. He's so clipped on "right" and "well, then." It's like, clearly like, he has to reign himself back at the end of each syllable or else he'll, like, fucking cry or something, or it feels like there's something stuck in her throat. It's very like, agh. God. Like, thank god they have their sunglasses on, [laughs] 'cause like, Jesus fucking Christ. Well, maybe if they didn't have their sunglasses on and Aziraphale could see their big, wet, sad, yellow eyes all the time, this wouldn't have even happened. Have we considered that?

So the first time I watched this scene, I was so confused about Aziraphale's behavior that I went back and rewatched Episodes 1, 2, and then 3 for an Aziraphale-centered rewatch just to try to see if I could understand anything. I think it helped a little bit. But I don't know. Grey, do you feel like you understand what Aziraphale's on about now?

G: Well, I think personally, that, as Will Wood has said, "I've made more mistakes than simple, empty moments / And each one is out of character, as you know I tend to be."

C: You know what? Yeah.

G: I think maybe this is just, when you're in this much distress, the decisions you made that are wrong tend to be so removed from how you would usually act. I'll give him the benefit of the doubt. And by him, I mean Neil Gaiman in characterizing Aziraphale. [both laughing]

C: Uh-huh.

G: Well, you go to the last scene of this episode, which is, a while ago, we actually see Adam like, reading the magazines, right? And he is talking to his dad about them, but his dad is very dismissive. And he gets quite upset that he's not being taken seriously, so he heads to bed early.

C: There's like, scary music that's like, "Oh, no! What's happening?" music that starts specifically when he says the line about how like, "Oh, there's like, Tibetans in tunnels, and they're spying on everything we do." And his parents suddenly look like, very concerned, and then he goes to bed. [laughing] And they never follow through all this, but it does really feel like a "Oh, no! Is our 11-year-old son going white supremacist mode on YouTube already?"

G: That is- like, that is pretty much the vibe, right?

C: Yeah.

G: It's like, "This kid is being white supremacist," which sure is a way to do it.

G: Anyway, the last magazine he puts down before he goes to actual sleep is one that's about nuclear power. As he goes to sleep, there's very, very ominous music and whispering and all that. And we go to a nuclear power plant, and we find that the nuclear reactor there has stopped working, but the plant is still producing the same amount of power. And, you know, there's like, bureaucracy, blah blah blah, but they eventually open the chamber. And when they do, the nuclear reactor's just not there, and it has been replaced by a lemon drop.

C: Yeah, I will say that on the bureaucracy chain, did you notice the-

G: That's relevant?

C: Well, I mean, yeah. What?

G: That's gonna be relevant, or-

C: Oh, no, it's not gonna be relevant. I just have a comment about the scene where the minister is on the phone, and there's a male sex worker next to him.

G: Oh, yeah.

C: Yeah. I mean, I don't really know what my comment is. I think it's just that- Okay, I mean, okay, like, what happens is like, the people in the nuclear reactor, they're calling up the chain of command for permission to open it up. And it goes to like, a minister, and he's shirtless in bed, and he's like, "You're calling me now?" etc etc, and there is a male sex worker in bed next to him, who's sort of like, tapping his watch with the like, "Hurry up. I'm on the clock." sort of thing. And it is confirmed that this is a sex worker in the script. And okay, like, this is supposed to be like, a funny scene, and I don't think the fact that it's a male sex worker and not like, a female sex worker or whatever is part of the humor. I think the reasoning was probably just like, "Well, we want, like, someone caught in like, an awkward position, and like, doing like, a female sex worker is like, tired. Like, everyone's done it already. So let's just switch it up." But like, I do wish that there were more queer humans in Season 1 or that there were just more people around who were styled the way that this man is. Because, like, he has a very distinctive like, look with like, makeup and hair, and like, cheekbones and things like that- that like, I don't know what my point is. I just wish there were more gay people on the show, and that people on the show looked like, differently rather than just like,

this one person who like, is there to be like, in capital letters, A Gay Person. And Aziraphale and Crowley were canonically queer by this point. and Neil Gaiman was sort of using that label for them a bit after 2019 as well. But, I don't know. It's still a thing to me.

Okay. And then, yeah, we end on like, Adam asleep, and the voices whispering to him are going, "Mend it all, end it all, end it all."

G: Yeah.

C: What did we think about this episode?

G: It's fine. [both laughing] Understatement. I mean, I don't- Well, obviously it made me crazy insane. This is for a fact. But many scenes in it- I mean, mostly like, the latter half of the episode, I'm like, "What is going on?" But I don't know. Maybe it will be answered, though, the further we get into the story, but I am very curious about what's gonna happen next.

C: Yeah, yeah. I mean, I also thought, like, first half of this episode, best thing that's ever happened to television. Second half was moving. Had some fun parts. Some of it, quite confusing.

Okay in our wrap-up. First: gayest moment, Grey?

G: I don't even fucking know. [C laughs] Probably the tavern scene. I mean, like, if we're talking like- I don't know. Probably like, the Disney Princess falling in love music scene, right?

C: Yeah. That was that was quite a bit.

G: Truly is.

C: That was Disney Princess falling in love of him.

G: He literally was Disney princess falling in love. Do you have another?

C: I mean, if we're just like, gay moment that resonated with me the most, I think it's the moment that inspired both of our anecdotes-

G: Oh yeah.

C: - where Aziraphale says that Crowley isn't even his friend, he's never even met him. But I don't think that's the gayest moment in my- in my heart I think the gayest moment in my heart is- oh my god.

G: [laughing] It's Shadwell and Crowley. [C laughing]

C: Don't! Ew, god! Sorry forever saying that to you.

C: I was very confused when you did.

C: Yeah, I did notice that you didn't respond to it at all [G laughs], and I was like, "That's fair."

I think that Crowley asking Aziraphale like, "Hey, can I drop you anywhere? Anywhere you like?" was one of the most vulnerable Crowley being in love moments in the flashbacks, like, yeah, he's just- Aziraphale surprised him. And like, he doesn't know how to be her usual cool self. So yeah.

G: Yeah.

C: Okay, transest moment.

G: I mean, Anthony J. Crowley.

C: Yeah, Anthony J. Crowley.

G: Fundamentally, as a person.

C: Yeah. Sorry. I have nothing to say. I'm just staring off into the distance, thinking about them. I mean, I learned how to change your Discord status for the first time ever-

G: Yeah, I know. [laughs]

C: So that I could make it the dialogue, like, "Anthony?" "You don't like it?" "No, no, I didn't say that. I'll get used to it." Like, this is the first time I've ever changed my Discord status, and it is for that. So.

Okay, Grey, hit me with your predictions.

G: Okay. So my predictions are: with the emphasis of not killing Adam, not killing kids situation, I think it's either going to culminate to Aziraphale being just like Heaven and like, giving in to like, killing Adam. And like, by killing, I mean, like, I don't think this kid's gonna die. But like, at least doing something to act on it. And I don't think it will be like, a "Dean Winchester pointing a gun at Jack and not shooting" situation. I think it will be "Sam Winchester pointing that gun at Dean and shooting, but the gun is empty" situation. You know what I mean? Like, I think he will do it, but like, it's not gonna kill the kid.

C: Yeah.

G: Or it may be like, Crowley kills the kid, and again, "kill,: you know. And it's like, you know, it's like a big deal given that he vehemently disagrees with the idea. I think the second one is less likely because the show is very much trying to be like, "But Crowley is good!" you know, and like, killing a kid is is like, gonna throw that off-course. So I'm more leaning into Aziraphale will try to kill this kid, I think.

C: Okay.

G: And my second prediction is- I'm just going to read it. I think maybe they'd meet in the middle eventually and like, leave their alliances and be their own team, but also still attempt to stop the apocalypse. So it's not like they're going to run off together, but they're also gonna stay here and do something, and they're going to be together about it. And like, 'cause, I think like, Aziraphale needs to understand that they are the team, and they are the ones who want the same thing. And Crowley, upon learning about this change, will be like, "Yeah, okay." But also, maybe not. And if maybe not, I think what would happen is Aziraphale just like, wouldn't get that like, this is the thing to do. And in that case, I don't really know how it would go. I have no idea. Like, maybe Crowley would stay and help anyway. 'Cause this situation is really a matter of like, unstoppable force versus immovable object. I think, between them, Aziraphale will be an immovable object, and so Crowley eventually will have to do the stopping. Those are my predictions.

C: Nice. What were your predictions last episode? Did any of them come up?

G: So my predictions at the time were about Anathema like, harming Adam, and then like, Aziraphale and Crowley trying to save this boy. But like, actually, I think it's gonna be the other way around. Like, I think Anathema would take care of this kid. And I talked about like, Anathema and Newton falling in love. Hasn't happened yet. I bet it will. And then, like, I don't know. At some- I said that like, I think Adam wouldn't actually do anything, but like, the apocalypse will still happen, but he won't do anything, which I think has been disproven. Like, maybe he wouldn't do anything, like, do anything, but things are happening directly because of him. So.

C: That's true.

G: Well, rating. Let's rate this episode.

C: First half, 10 out of 10, Second half, 7? 8? Maybe 7.

G: The second half is just so short and so empty of anything that happens.

C: [laughing] It's the same length as the first half.

G: So it's like, it's whatevs,you know what I mean?

C: Mm-hm.

G: I would count them as separate episodes. I think the first half is a 10 out of 10, easily. Like, go higher than 10 kind of rating, you know? But the second half, maybe a 7. It's not that interesting, and the things that are interesting are interesting in that they're very confusing. But they're still interesting, though, so.

C: Yeah, they are still interesting. I guess that would average to me as, like, either an 8 or 9, and I think I'm willing to bump it up to a 9 just because the first half is the most important thing that's ever happened. So yeah.

I guess that is it for this week's episode- second episode. This week's second episode of Rubbish and Probably a Podcast. Next time, we’ll be talking about Season 1, Episode 4: “Saturday Morning Funtime.” Leave us a rating or a review wherever you get your podcasts.

G: Follow us on social media! We interact through the accounts set up for our Supernatural commentary podcast, Busty Asian Beauties. Catch us on Tumblr at bustyasianbeautiespod.tumblr.com and email us at [email protected].

C: Thanks to everyone who’s donated to our Ko-Fi at ko-fi.com/bustyasianbeautiespod! See you guys next time! [both] Bye!

[theme song]

[beep]

C: Yeah.

G: Yeah.

C: Ya.

G: Ya! [laughs]

[beep]

G: He's being- I forgot the word. But, you know. They're setting him apart.

C: Ostracized? Or-

G: No.

C: What do you mean? They're being extra surveilly over him, or?

G: I forgot the word!

C: All good.

G: Sad.

C: So, so sad.

G: Saur sad.

C: Saur fucking sad.

[beep]

G: Also, I think- fuck! I am so sleepy I'm forgetting everything.

C: Oh no!

G: I was gonna say something that I thought was very poignant. [C laughs]

C: Should I resay all the things I said so you can recreate the thought structure that you had?

G: What was the beginning of the sentence? Of your thing?

C: Blah blah blah, try to fit it into the bandstand, he comes in, the angels never explicitly said that they don't want the war, it's just been heavily implied-

G: Ah, okay!

[beep]

C: But how did you feel? [silence] Are you there? Hello?

[beep]

C: Hello?

G: Hello? Holy shit.

C: Oh, hi! Where were you?

G: Hi! I'm falling asleep.

C: Oh. Oh. Oh, good.

G: Sorry. How long was I out? Not a lot? A lot?

C: Um, five minutes, not a lot.

G: Okay, that's a lot, though.

#rubbishpod #transcript

1 note · View note

memoirelaine · 1 year

Text

A young woman on her way home from work passes by a bakery. She peeks through the window and knocks on the closed door. A man comes out and says, "hi there" and she asks, "are you open? "

"Do you have any cakes?"

The man looks down at his feet and stays silent for a little. The young woman bewildered and confused starts to walk away.

"Wait! he shouts. "We will be serving cakes soon, we actually have one baking right now in the back I promise it's delicious and worth the wait!"

The young girl, intrigued and filled with excitement says "Wow okay, I'll wait."

45 minutes pass and the woman is starting to get agitated. The man says, "I'm so sorry our head baker isn't in today and we are short staffed."

The woman replies, "it's okay, I guess I can wait a little longer." She waits for another 30 minutes.

The cake is finally ready and the man reveals the cake to her.

"No frosting?" says the woman and the man replies, "so sorry we are out of milk and sugar, but wait we can try to make that for you."

The young woman says "okay"... with hesitation. The man sees the the look of disappointment on her face. So the man goes in the back of the kitchen and with very little ingredients tries to make some frosting but realizes he doesn't have all the ingredients so he runs to the grocery store without telling the young girl.

Another 35 minutes pass, the young girl is starting to become very ,very agitated. The man comes back, quickly puts the icing on the cake and hands it to her. He can see she's visibly upset and short with him.

"No box??" she says curtly.

The man looks behind him on the empty shelves and says "we're out of boxes today unfortunately."

The woman looks at the man, frustrated and takes the cake with her bare hands and whispers to herself how am I suppose to take this home with me?

The man hears her and says, "you should be grateful! I made this for you even if I didn't even have all the ingredients or the supplies."

The woman says in disbelief "you gotta be kidding me", puts down the cake, wipes her hands on her pants and says "thanks for your time but I'm going to look elsewhere."

The man says, "I did all of this for you and this is the thanks I get?, this bakery is one of a kind!"

The woman walks out the bakery annoyed, confused and frustrated and walks for another 5 miles. The woman stumbles upon another bakery and walks in and to her surprise there are cakes of different sizes, flavors, and even tiny cupcakes! Her eyes light up and the jovial young gentleman behind the counter says, "hi there, what would you like today, Miss?"

"Perhaps a coffee? We also have cakes too! Or maybe you'd like both?"

"I'll take both! Thank you!" She smiles "no problem, you got it, we'll get that ready for you!"

______________

After reading this story,

what are some takeaways? It's always best to be upfront and honest with someone, that way they can make a conscious decision to stay or leave.

Why do you think the man in the first bakery made the woman wait several times instead of being upfront and honest with the woman?

Why do you think the man was so desperate to sell the woman the cake even if he didn't have all the ingredients and supplies?

Why do you think the woman waited? Do you think the woman in the story could have done anything differently?

Written by: Elaine Quiambao

#relationships #breakups #transparency

0 notes

the-lone-witch-and-secret-room · 3 years

Text

Camila Noceda and Flawed Parenting

A perspective by a flawed person with loving but extremely flawed parents

I’m genuinely baffled at some people’s hostile reaction towards Camila. Like… do any of you have flawless parents that always know the best solution instantly, make no mistakes and never get emotional?

My parents are great. They’re super supportive and I love them very, very much. Overall I think I got very lucky in the parents department.

But god, they are far from flawless. I still live at home, and despite all the good, there’s moments when I can’t take my dad anymore. He’s the kind of dad that stayed up until two am to help me with homework when I was in school, and he does so, so many things to make sure I’m happy. I know that. But despite all of this, I have told my mom in emotional moments before that I’m not sure if I can keep living with him, because for all his good sides, he has a couple of fatal flaws that sometimes make him unbearable.

My mom listens to me and is very open to being educated on certain topics, but she has her flaws, too. She hates when I fight with my dad, and gets so torn up about it that I’ve once apologized to my dad out of fear of her getting into a car crash otherwise. She’s very vocal about certain flaws of mine, and sometimes uses the things she does for me as leverage against me when she gets very emotional.

And both of my parents pay a lot more attention to my brother because he needs it more, because he’s more of a “problem child” while I “seem so capable” even when I’m not.

And guess what? I’m not a perfect child. I make mistakes sometimes, some of them pretty severe. Just like Luz, I’m the kind of person that struggles to communicate certain issues of mine to her parents. I’m stubborn, and when I get emotional, I say very hurtful things sometimes. So do they.

And this has nothing to do with my parents being horrible or abusive. They’re neither of those things.

The takeaway from this should not be that my entire family is made up of terrible people, but that we’re all flawed in our own ways, despite loving each other and trying our best. There’s things about my parents I wish I could change, and there are things about me that my parents wish they could change. And to an extent, that’s perfectly normal.

In our strengths and flaws and frustration with each other, we’re all human.

Specific, spoiler-y Camila and Luz things under the cut since this got very long.

We have no indication that Camila has a pattern of emotionally manipulating Luz. Her “emotional manipulation” as I’ve seen some people put it, is people for some reason thinking that the second you become an adult, you’re suddenly perfect and can no longer make mistakes, lest you’ll be dubbed horrible and abusive.

The whole concept is absurd to me. There is no perfect way to parent. There simply isn’t. Of course, there’s some genuinely abusive patterns that are horrible and inexcusable. But out of the parenting styles that aren’t, which one works depends on a number of factors, one of which absolutely includes that every child is different and has different needs. Camila is an amazing parent for Vee, giving the kid everything she’s ever longed for. She’s not an ideal parent for Luz. And that’s because Luz and Vee have fundamentally different needs.

Likewise, Luz is a pretty great child for Eda, but not a perfect fit for Camila. Luz relates to Eda a lot more than she relates to her mom, and that’s why the two of them have an easier time understanding each other. Both of these mother-child relationships exist, and one is not more doomed to fail than the other, but I think you’ll agree that the better you understand someone and where they’re coming from, the easier it is to communicate, pick up on certain signs, etc.

As mom and daughter, Camila and Luz are both flawed and have issues seeing the other’s perspective because of how different they are. And we should simultaneously acknowledge both of their roles in the issue and give both of them the space to learn and grow past those issues.

Luz struggles to communicate her problems. She doesn’t want to burden people in the demon realm, and it’s a given that this started out as not wanting to burden her mom. So she keeps quiet about her issues. Camila tries hard but can’t read her daughter’s mind, so there’s only so much she can do to understand and help the way Luz needs her to. Hell, Eda, who Luz is a lot more open with than her mom, struggles to help her, because Luz doesn’t tell her what’s wrong. I don’t see anyone calling Eda a terrible mom for that.

Camila tries her best, but she struggles to understand her daughter because of this, and because of how fundamentally different they are. She loves Luz’s creativity, we actively see her supporting it in the new episode—she keeps the weird stuff Luz made because she thinks Luz will regret throwing it away, and even plays along in what she assumes to be some elaborate role play because “she’s glad Luz kept her creativity even though it’s not made things easy for her at school”. But at the beginning of the show, said creativity got out of hand and people got hurt. Luz could’ve gotten hurt. So of course Camila had to interfere. I love Luz dearly, but she thought it was okay to bring snakes to school and set off fireworks inside a school building. Creativity is great. Doing reckless stuff that causes people to get hurt is not.

In sending Luz to camp, Camila tried to have someone else fix her issue because she didn’t know how to help Luz. That was a mistake, and a bad one at that, but she’s realizing that. She looks disheartened when Vee tries to throw out Luz’s stuff, because she never meant to change her daughter or take that part of her away. She just thought Luz needed a reality check—which, for the record, is something the narrative actually agrees with.

Luz spends her time in the demon realm getting reality check after reality check, realizing that even her ideal fantasy world where she has everything she always wanted doesn’t mean she’s free of consequences. She goes overboard constantly, causing:

-Eda to be forced to fly into a trap because Luz is chasing a fantasy (Witches before Wizards)

-Eda to almost be branded by her sister because Luz doesn’t think through why Eda doesn’t use magic to publicly announce her presence constantly (Once Upon a Swap)

-Eda and the twins to get kidnapped by a Slitherbeast because Luz stole Amity’s wand (Adventures in the Elements)

-Her friends to get hurt when she goes overboard trying to help Willow (Wing it like Witches)

-Eda to be captured and almost petrified because Luz thought she could just steal from the Emperor with no consequences in an attempt to help (Agony of a Witch)

I’m like 90% sure these aren’t even all. None of those make her a terrible person, for the record, but as all humans are, she is flawed and makes bad choices. She learns from these experiences and matures, just like her mom had hoped she would at camp. She’s also made friends there, which was another thing Camila wanted for her daughter.

You’ll probably realize that a lot of Luz’s behaviors I mentioned follow one of two patterns: 1. Luz’s idealized fantasy world causing problems, when she walks around with rose tinted glasses and gets people in trouble in the process because she hasn’t thought about the consequences, and 2. Luz trying to help someone she loves, but instead making things worse in the progress. The issue with this one is often that she doesn’t communicate her ideas/listen to the people she’s trying to help—like when Willow and Gus said they’ve had enough of Grudgby, or how she never actually talks to Eda about the healing hat idea before doing something reckless.

…does the latter one sound familiar to you at all? No? Because it’s the exact same thing that Camila did.

Some of the things Luz does are reckless and actively endanger others and herself, and that’s something that I think we need to acknowledge before judging Camila. As Luz’s mom, it’s Camila’s job to interfere in those situations. That she made a mistake while trying to protect Luz doesn’t make her a terrible person, especially as, again, the narrative proves her right to an extent.

I’m not saying her making Luz promise to come back and stay isn’t something that hurt Luz—it absolutely is. But it was born out of desperation. She’s emotional and in shock. She’s so full of pain and regret. She just wants her fourteen year old daughter home safe, and there’s nothing abusive or even morally ambiguous about that.

From Luz’s perspective, what she says is absolutely heartbreaking, but from Camila’s, it’s perfectly reasonable. I doubt Camila has the full picture, but even if she does, she’s had a full fifteen seconds to process that her daughter has not only been lying to her for months, but chose to leave her, and is in the demon realm of all places. Of course she’d be emotional and upset about that! Who wouldn’t? Camila isn’t a robot. If she’d been calm about this I’d be way more concerned, honestly.

My parents don’t get mad that easily, but if I would lie to them for weeks on end, they’d be pissed off too, not even taking the running away from home part into account. That’s a normal thing. People don’t like being lied to. Camila is absolutely devastated in that moment because she’s scared that Luz left because she hates her, when Luz actively states that her leaving wasn’t about her mom—which is another thing we should really be acknowledging.

Abusive parents suck and abuse should obviously never be apologized or trivialized, but saying something hurtful in the heat of the moment isn’t the same thing as being an abusive parent. My parents have done this. I’ve done this. And yes, those things can be emotionally manipulative, but there’s a huge difference in whether that’s a habit or a person speaking out of hurt and desperation in a very specific context. I doubt there’s anyone on the entire planet that hasn’t had a bad moment where they’ve said something like this because they were hurting. People lash out when they hurt, and they beg for reassurance when they’re scared. That’s something we all do.

The whole mindset of “all parents have to be perfect and can never get upset or make any mistakes” is harmful as hell, and honestly also very unrealistic. No parent is perfect, and especially people like me who have a relationship with their parents that’s very good overall should know that.

Once you have a child, parenting is a non-stop learning process, every day for the rest of your life. Taking away that room to grow and expecting perfection isn’t helping anyone, especially not struggling single parents.

And I see Camila as someone who is very willing to learn, because at the end of the day, all she wants is for Luz to be happy. Let’s give her some time to wrap her head around this whole situation. Let’s see what she says once she sees for herself how happy Luz is in that world, may it be via the videos eventually coming through or Camila visiting and meeting Luz’s found family, her friends and her girlfriend.

Ultimately, I don’t think Camila will force Luz to stay at home, but we have to give her some time. She wants what’s best for Luz, and she’s gonna need some convincing that a dangerous magical world is what’s best. I feel like that’s very normal considering the circumstances.

Her and Luz need to work on their communication on both ends, they both have things to learn, but I’m certain they’ll manage to fix their relationship in the long run.

If the bunk bed is any indication, I think Vee is gonna stay in the human realm permanently while Luz sleeps at home but keeps attending Hexside in the daytime. That feels like a solution that keeps everyone happy, and allows Luz to spend time with all the people she loves. I can’t see her being forced to choose at the end.

As a closing statement: Eda isn’t an ideal mom, Amity isn’t an ideal friend or girlfriend and neither is Luz, Lilith isn’t an ideal sister… but that’s because no one is ever an ideal anything. Being flawed is a big part of being human. Everyone has different facets to their personality. Their flaws are what makes them such great, relatable, believable characters.

And I feel the same way about Camila. She’s an extremely believable character that reminds me of my own parents, flawed but very loving nonetheless.

(Also honestly, I think it’s pretty telling that some of you guys immediately bash the black single mom that’s obviously trying her hardest while giving the benefit of the doubt to Alador, who has been portrayed as neglecting and threatened his six year old daughter on screen. This was already a thing before we knew much about either of them, and I’m disappointed but unfortunately not very surprised that it still is.)

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writingwithcolor · 3 years

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Desexualized Mammy & Strong Black Woman, too busy for “frivolous love”

“Alyse” (Anon Submission) asked:

My science fiction story includes a black woman (Talia) who raises two children that aren’t her own and takes on two young adults as apprentices. One of the children she is raises has Arabic background and was taken into her home upon his father’s death (his mother’s whereabouts are unknown). She was a close friend of his father and the closest thing he had to a relative. The second child has mixed French-Latinx background and was taken in after becoming shipwrecked with no means by which to contact her people. Talia was the first non-hostile individual she encountered and one of the few who would so openly embrace a stranger. Since Talia is Master Medic (the highest medical authority in her community) she is training two apprentices (think residency) and eventually mentors the second child as well. She was once married and passionately in love but lost her husband to illness. In this setting, some technology we take for granted is inaccessible and violence against their people is commonplace. Most have experienced sudden loss. This particular loss was the catalyst that drove Talia into medicine- a desire to protect her loved ones and prevent others from experiencing similar tragedy. She is usually kind (though businesslike) but sometimes succumbs to a frigid, furious depression when, despite all her knowledge and determination, she can’t save someone.

I worry that her maternal association with the two children (one of whom is an outsider) mires her in the mammy trope. On top of that, she hasn’t pursued romance since the death of her husband. I’ve considered giving her a romantic subplot but there are already so many characters to keep track of. Furthermore, I just can’t see her engaging in the frivolous pursuits of new love when she’s dealing with kids, students, and an extremely taxing career.

In terms of race and culture in this story, practically every character can trace their ancestry back to populations displaced through war. Even Talia’s second child was shipwrecked during a botched evacuation from a military science lab. The people who live here have been isolated for generations and no longer have a real concept of their ancestry. Cultures have blended, new religions have formed, and many of our familiar racial/ethnic issues are forgotten. However, new and different but equally toxic ones have replaced them. In this way, Talia’s blackness doesn’t carry the same associations in her world as it would in ours. However, readers may still make these associations. Do you see any issues with her character that I could amend?

So! You have:

A highly educated Black-coded woman (the highest medical authority in the community)

She raises two kids alone

She also looks after two apprentices

She is widowed (not sure the race of the husband, was he Black?)

Having experienced heartbreaking love, Talia's drive to look after, protect and save people through medicine is a great motivation for the way she is. Her experiencing depression and taking losses seriously is also very human and is dynamic characterization.

However, such characterization with Black women is prone to brush across several tropes. You have a Black woman who gives and protects, but what does she get in return? Who cares for her?

Prioritize your Black character’s happiness

"I’ve considered giving her a romantic subplot but there are already so many characters to keep track of. Furthermore, I just can’t see her engaging in the frivolous pursuits of new love when she’s dealing with kids, students, and an extremely taxing career."

Priorities, priorities. Is love a frivolous pursuit in her eyes, or yours? Because I strongly disagree. You probably don't mean to but you, as the author, having an excuse to NOT give the Black woman romance is showing that you do not think she's worth being loved. TV viewers and stans who are uncomfortable when Black women characters have relationships find similar excuses to explain away not wanting BW in relationships.

"She's too strong and independent for a man/relationship"

"I liked her better alone."

"It'll take away from her character."

“A romance doesn’t feel right for her”

These sorts of statements above are grounded in racialized misogyny.

Relationships do not lessen the woman.

Relationships does not lessen Black women.

Love

Whether that love is romantic, familial, or friendship, it can come in many forms. Give Talia love. Because Black women characters deserve it! Either one or all!

Let her have a loyal best friend, a cat, and a girlfriend. Because why not? And not to downplay the love of children to parents, but please provide her love beyond what she gets on a maternal level from the children she looks after.

The stories that Black women are in today severely lack love for us, so why add to the narrative of Black women being all work and no play, and too [insert excuse here] to be loved?

Of course, you didn't provide all the details from your story, but I'm not seeing much of a balance from the struggle. She is a caretaker, teacher, doctor (or doctor-like figure).

Her position and background in itself is okay. It's the Strong Black Woman being presented with seemingly no commentary that strikes me.

Where is her team to help balance the weight of the world?

Who takes care of her when she's depressed from another loss?

What does she get in return from taking an emotional and physical toll to heal her community?

Do those around her recognize all she does for them and offer their friendship?

When does she get to relax and turn off the need to be everything for everybody?

Fitting love into a book with many characters

There are many books with several characters to keep track of. People tend to manage. Also, I'm sure some of those characters are in and/or out of relationships. Even stories that couldn’t be classified as romances have relationships of some sort. It’s unrealistic to have a ton of characters and none of them be in relationship(s) of some sort. Not when there’s so many forms of it and many sexualities.

Friends, frenemies, enemies, romance, affairs.. Relationships make stories (and life) interesting. By no means do I think adding these dynamics harm your tale. And what’s one more for a hard-working Black woman who sacrifices a lot and clearly deserves a shoulder to lean on? And, if you use an existing character to be that friend, family, or lover, then you won’t need to pencil in another character.

For romance specifically - I think a misconception when it comes to including romance in stories is that they have to somehow take over the story. Romance does not have to bombard the plot nor be described in lavish detail. Not every story is a romance and those sort of details aren’t everyone’s style or things they’re comfortable with. A sentence or two establishing relationships does not take away from the story.And how those relationships look and affections expressed will vary based on the characters, sexuality, etc.

Not every character needs to have a deep level of detail.

“Katie and Lisa, a newly engaged couple, walked into the meeting.”

“Jack and Jamie are a married couple in their 40s.”

“The two met in college. After two months of blissful courtship, they eloped, eager to start their happily ever afters. Twenty years together, they were still blissfully in love and never too far from one another.”

Sentences like the above are enough for some characters. You don’t always need to put in paragraphs worth of relationship-establishing details or plot.

When it comes to the characters whose love you would like to highlight, at least a bit, you still don’t have to go over the top.

Use subtle details.

“As soon as Talia’s back was turned, he gave her a longing look before shaking his head and getting back to the patient.”

“He squeezed her hand before taking hold of the stethoscope.”

“She kissed her wife goodbye before racing out the door.”

“You mean the world to me.” he had said, holding her face. Those words stayed with her all day, making her heavy load light as a sack of feathers.

“She soaked his shirt with her tears and he just held her tight, saying nothing, silently holding her together.”

As for Talia specifically…

Talia having the mindset you described, as love being frivolous and not a priority, is understandable knowing her background (I just don't agree with you as the creator using this as a means to keep her alone. Whether she’s romantically alone or without close friendships). She has lost so much, and continues to experience loss with patients. This can be extremely traumatizing. I gave some examples of being subtle, so perhaps that will help with the burden of feeling a thick subplot of romance doesn’t fit in your story.

And as Talia doesn’t strike me as someone who would go looking for companionship, what if she stumbles upon it without trying? Is there someone on the medical team that can offer her friendship? Someone who admires her and feels the urge to care for her that she feels the same for, or has pushed feelings down for? What happens when she can’t hold those feelings down anymore?

Takeaway

Talia deserves healthy love, even if she doesn’t believe it or feel she has time for it. That love can come in any and many forms, not necessarily romantically required, although it is a plus. A struggle-ridden novel is balanced by love, support and rest for characters that hold the weight of the world. If you do not, evaluate why you want to write Black characters in these struggle roles without at least a social commentary.

~Mod Colette

#Black women #Strong Black Woman #Mammy #relationships #romance #asks

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clonecyare · 3 years

Text

I Can Handle Myself

Summary: You were perfectly capable of handling yourself when it came to matters of your safety. But that would never stop Fox from doing his part.

Pairing: Commander Fox x senator!reader

Tags: assination attempts, protective fox, senator!reader, republic gala, canon typical violence/shenanigans, banter, secret relationship, kissing, suggestive ending,

Word Count: 1.8k

A/N: The 2nd instalment of my outfit series. This one is based on this outfit submitted by @murdertoothpick for Fox. Each fic in the series can be read as stand-alone fics.

1st instalment: Playing a Dangerous Game - Captain Rex x medic/!reader

|| Masterlist || Tag list ||

----

“I am going to say this one more time, Commander. I do not need a babysitter for this Gala, I am more than capable of handling myself.” You said matter-of-factly as you walked through the halls of the senate, datapad in hand, tapping perhaps a little passive-aggressively on the screen.

Commander Fox chuckled under his bucket, and you narrowed your eyes at him.

“With all due respect, Senator, you were the target of an assassination attempt 4 days ago.”

“And I survived. Nobody would be stupid enough to try a second attempt at Republic Gala, not with the Senate present.”

Fox chuckled and fell in step with you, bumping shoulders with you as you walked. “Maybe so, but it’s the wishes of the Chancellor that you have a member of the Guard escort you, while the rest patrol the Gala.”

You stopped outside the entryway to your office and put one hand on your hip, datapad and a stack of flimsi files clutched under one arm and pointing accusingly at Fox with the other from behind the death grip you had on your caf. “You’re enjoying this.”

You nodded politely to Hound who had been standing guard at your office, and he saluted with a polite, “Ma’am.” He took his leave as Fox took his place, leaning against the doorway with his head tilted as you punched in the keycode. The doors slid open, and he followed you inside, removing his bucket with a gentle hiss and holding it under his arm against his hip.

You couldn’t help but stare a little, just briefly. He was sporting a few soft grey hairs at the sides of his neatly trimmed hair. It made him appear just a slight bit older and more sophisticated, the neat locks of loose hair framing his handsome face.

“Perhaps a little. I do get quite the kick of you not getting your own way.”

His smug comment brought your attention back to the present and you muttered something in response with narrowed eyes. Dropping the stack of files and the datapad on your desk, you hopped up to sit on the edge and crossed one knee over the other. The lightweight fabric of your skirt sported a high slit, exposing the skin of your legs and upper thigh.

You sighed, resigned to your fate and leaned back on one palm, swirling the steaming caf in your paper takeaway cup.

“Who will be my knight in shining red armour, then?”

You asked as you blew on the hot caf and took a sip.

Fox, whose eyes has been previously occupied following the slit of your skirt up to your thigh, snapped out of his daydream and plastered a handsome smirk on his face.

“Oh, that would be me. I’ll pick you up at 7 sharp, mesh’la.”

“Wha-” You did a rather ungracious spit take withyour coffee, as the Commander slid his helmet back on and moved through your office doors with one final look back at you.

“Oh, and don’t be late.”

----

Leaning into the mirror you carefully applied the deep crimson red lipstick, treating the task with the utmost delicacy, lest you waste your look entirely. You stepped back once you were through and took a moment to admire your handiwork.

Dressed head to toe in deep, rich red tones and soft fabrics, you felt you had outdone yourself this time. If you were to be on your Commander’s arm all evening, the least you could do was make an effort, right?

You smirked softly, tilting your head in the mirror. Yeah, this would show him.

You had decided to go for an elegant gown for this evening, floor-length and a deep wine red in colour. The upper portion was a bodice lined with velvet and fitted to your body, with sleek black linear detailing down the front. Around the upper edge and over the shape of your chest was lined with intricate gold detailing.

In the centre of your chest, just under the hollow of your throat, sat a delicate golden brooch, which held from each side 2 long strips of the same wine-red material from your dress, draped prettily back over your shoulders, accentuating your chest and neck.

You had chosen several simple gold jewellery items, and tied your hair up into an intricate bun, completing your look and signature red lip. You were just touching up the corners of your lipstick when there was a firm knock at your door.

You headed for the door, opening it with a smile.

“Good evening, Commander.”

You smiled, voice sweet like honey. Your Commander, to your delight, was stood frozen in the doorway looking at you. In one hand he held the cap of his dress greys and in the other, a bouquet of Queen’s Heart flowers.

“Fox?”

You smiled softly and reach a hand out to touch his forearm. The gentle touch broke him from his stare and he quickly cleared his throat, offering you the bouquet with a bow. “For you.”

You smiled and took them with a courtesy, “they’re beautiful, come in, let me find a spot for them.” You stepped aside to let him in, finding the perfect spot for the flowers on your table.

When you turned back, Fox was watching you again, though this time he was smiling handsomely. You smiled back, “well, how do I look?”

“Mesh’la. Truly mesh’la.” He smiled as he offered his arm. Your cheeks flamed a pretty pink, bringing a satisfied smirk to the Commander’s face as you slid your arm through his own.

You locked up the apartment and made your way strangely quiet Senate District. The air was crisp against your skin, cooling the warmth you felt where you were brushing arms with the soldier lightly.

“You know, you clean up pretty well outside of all that plastoid.”

You smiled playfully, looking up at him. He smiled back, chuckling and shaking his head lightly, hair bouncing lightly in the gentle breeze. “Is that so?”

“Mhmm. I would go so far as to say a 10/10.”

Fox groaned deeply in his chest, head hanging sightly. You swore it was to hide his smile.

“I hate you.”

You smiled fondly and pressed into his side, free hand resting on his arm that was holding yours.

“No, you don’t.”

----

Perhaps you may have been wrong about the Gala. Fox had his reputation for being a little… prickly, at the best of times. But, as the over the top affairs go, the Commander had proven himself quite the charmer.

He has stayed dutifully by your side most of the evening, So, having a bodyguard was, as it turned out, a blessing in disguise - though you would never admit as much to anyone else. Far fewer senatorial aides tried to approach you upon spotting the head of the Coruscant Guard on your arm. Even several of the more conservative senators passed you by upon receiving his death glare.

At one point, towards the end of the evening, you had even managed to convince the stoic Commander to join you on the ballroom floor to dance. Well, sway, would be more accurate. The two of you moved around the room in a gentle sway, you humming softly along to the tune while Fox rested his cheek atop your head.

You raised your glass of Algarine wine to your lips in an almost mini toast, “Well Commander, it seems we had noth-”

Your words died in your throat as the glass suddenly shattered in your hand. The blaster bolt that has cause it clipped your right cheek, leaving a trail of blood in its wake. A roar of commotion suddenly filled the room, with several masked individuals pushing through the crowd. Most of the shots were trained on you, but you now noticed a group of them firing off into the guests as a distraction.

“Get down. Now!”

Fox barked, crowding you to the floor. Thire and Thorn were already pushing through the crowds, firing at 2 of the intruders and calling in backup.

“Commander!”

Hound threw Fox’s blasters towards him and took off after one of the assailants, Stone calling for backup. The leader of the group was faster, though, taking another shot that you managed to dodge as Fox tackled him, throwing himself between you and the hitman, and knocking his blaster from his hands. The pair wrestled for the single DC-17 that had fallen between them, each landing several punches.

In the end, the hitman got the upper hand. Blood rushed to your ears, cancelling out the commotion behind you. As soon as he pulled the pistol on the Commander, you were behind him, panting heavily, pistol to the back of his head.

“Drop it. Now. I promise I’m faster.”

Fox looked at you with wide eyes, before the dropped to your exposed thigh and the small holster secured around your upper thigh, soft brown irises slowly darkening. Discreet, made for a small pistol like an ELG-3A.

The man dropped the blaster and Fox grabbed him by the scruff of the neck, binding his wrists and looking over his shoulder at you with a chuckle as he pushed the man towards one of the Corries that had arrived.

The room was emptying now, only a few shaken aides left milling around, and few vod who were cleaning up and securing the room. Fox lifted a hand to brush a few hairs back behind your ear, and you smiled.

“I told you I could handle myself.”

Fox laughed, holding your cheek as his calloused thumb swiped over your cheek, wiping away the trail of blood. “Yes, you most certainly did, cyar’ika.”

You turned your cheek into his palm and pressed a light kiss, looking up at him.

Fox took one precursory look around the ballroom and bent down, kissing you hard. It wasn’t soft or sweet like you knew they could be. It wasn’t careful and quick, like so many of your kisses had to be in order to remain a secret.

It was rushed, and desperate. You could practically feel the adrenalin rolling off him in waves. It was an oddly comforting feeling, one you had grown to know only too well. The kind Fox radiated after gruelling sessions guarding the Senate. Or after the occasional run-in with the cesspool of Coruscant’s underworld.

But it was most notable in these moments. When you had found a way to put yourself in the firing line again. When he couldn’t let his mask slip, when he couldn’t treat you as more than a senator under his protection. When all he could do was his job.

It was these moments afterwards that he needed you the most, that you needed him. It was in these moments, you knew exactly what you both needed.

You broke away, eyes never leaving his own as you took his arm.

“Take me home, Fox.”

----

Tag list:

@captainrexsfuturewife

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streetlight11 · 3 years

Text

Strawberry Lattes

Summary: He always needs his morning caffeine to wake him up for his morning classes. He never knew what it feels like wanting to come back to a particular place again and again solely for one reason, until he met you. You were a full time barista and a part time university student. Despite the stress you get almost every week, your two friends have always been there to support you. What happens when your friends come to visit you at your workplace one day, only to find out that they were friends with the same boy who not only is your eye candy, but also your regular customer?

Genre: Super fluffy

Pairing: Kim Sunwoo x GN Reader

Word count: 5.5k

It was another dreadful morning after only 2 hours of sleep due to staying up all night hoping to finish at least 50% of the assignment. But this wasn’t an excuse for you to call in to work sick or unable to come for your shift. Hence, the reason why you were now forcing yourself out of bed to freshen up and get ready for work. You were a full time barista at a local café downtown just around the corner from your apartment, and also a part time student at Yonsei University.

The reason why you chose this path was because you wanted to further your studies but also earn a monthly allowance in order to pay for your school and house bills since you were living alone and didn't have the time to search for a roommate.

Despite the stress load you get every once in a while, you managed to cope and tried your best to pass each module. Today was no different, as you got ready for work and was out the door by 0730. You arrived at the café only to find your manager already preparing the coffee machines and restocking the cakes in the fridge beside the cashier. You greeted him good morning before he smiled at you.

You went into the back room to put your bag down and took your apron. Proceeding to head to the front where the cashier and coffee machines were.

“Did you get enough sleep yesterday?” Kihyun asked.

Before you could reply, a yawn left your lips as you used the back of your hand to cover your mouth slightly.

“Nope. But I’ll be fine.” You said. You could hear the heavy sigh that left his lips when he closed the fridge door and soon turned to you with a frown.

“(Y/N), you know you have to get some rest. It’s not good for your health.” Kihyun said, but you nodded.

“I know Ki, but I can’t fail this module.”

“Just… know when to take a break okay?”

“Okay.”

With that, he went to the back room to settle some paperwork while you stayed by the counter, refilling the powders into the containers. After you were done, a few customers had entered to buy their morning caffeine doses. 4 orders and 5 minutes of silence later, you leaned over the counter top with one knee resting on the stool in front of you that was hidden from any customer in plain sight.

You supported your head on your palm, slowly finding yourself drifting to sleep when the doorbell chimed, catching your attention. You looked up to see a guy walking into the café looking just as tired as you were but he had more life in him.

“Dang he’s cute.” You thought to yourself as you quickly wiped the pout off your face and soon replaced it with a warm smile.

“Good morning, may I take your order?” you greeted him.

He flashed you a soft smile before glancing up at the menu boards hanging above your head.

“Do you have any recommendations? I feel like trying something new.” He finally looked back down at you, only for you to feel as though your airflow got sucked out of your lungs.

“Personally I really like the Iced Matcha Latte with soy milk if I want a non-caffeinated drink. But if I want that espresso kick to start my mornings, I really love the Strawberry Latte, with two pumps of syrup and a light dash of strawberry sprinkles. It’s not too strong and it definitely gives you a sweet tangy balance to the bitter coffee taste.” You ended your speech with a light giggle after you realized how long it was.

The male only smiled fondly at you during that whole minute explanation but it was worth it. “Great, can I get the exact order for the second one then?” He said. You looked quite surprised but nonetheless smiled as you began to key in the order

“Choice of size?”

“Regular please.”

After you were done, you took the regular size takeaway cup and a marker, looking at him to ask for his name or initials.

“Sunwoo.”

The corner of your lips tugged upwards, writing down his name before setting the cup to your left beside the coffee machine and soon charged him for his order. After he was done paying, you returned him his change and gave the receipt before telling him to wait at the collection point. You made the drink exactly how you would make it for yourself. Smiling happily upon seeing your creation being prepared for not yourself, but this time for a customer.

After you had sprinkled the strawberry powder on top of the foam surface, you took the lid and secured it close before you went to the collection point and called out softly.

“Strawberry Latte for Sunwoo.”

He walked forwards as he took the cup, not forgetting to give you a smile.

“Thank you-” His eyes darted towards your name tag pinned to your apron before he looked back at you. “...(Y/N)”

You bowed to him slightly as you watched him leave the café. After he left, he didn’t forget to spare a quick glance into the café, only to see your smile soon disappeared. Replacing it with a small pout when you let out a sigh. Sunwoo chuckled as he continued walking to campus that was just 2 blocks away.

For some reason, he couldn’t stop thinking about you even after he made it to his first lecture. The small smile gracing on his lips didn’t go unnoticed by his friends as Kevin began to nudge Sunwoo’s elbow the minute he came to sit beside the former.

“Aye, why are you smiling like an idiot huh?” Kevin asked.

“Maybe he just sniffed a smiling gas.” Younghoon said.

“What the hell is that?” Jacob asked.

“I was being sarcastic you nimrod.” Younghoon said, making the former one growl.

“I’ll tell you guys later.” Sunwoo said as he couldn’t wipe the smile off his face.

2 hours passed and they were now heading to the food hall in the main building, when Hyunjae slings his arm over Sunwoo’s shoulder.

“So? Why were you smiling all morning today?” He asked, causing the rest to focus their gazes on him as Sunwoo sighed knowing he couldn’t run away now.

“Ahh, it��s nothing… I went to get my morning coffee and there was this really cute barista who attended to me. That’s all.”

A series of “ooh”s were heard as the boys got noisier by the second.

“Jeez, can y’all shut up? You’re embarrassing me.” Sunwoo said as he quickened his pace, only for Younghoon to grab hold of his backpack and pulled him back.

“Oh please, you should be thankful we even gave reactions to what you say.” Younghoon said, making Sunwoo scoff.

A few weeks later, you were just handing a customer her plate of pasta and a cappuccino at one of the tables when you heard the doorbell chime. The customer you were attending to, thanked you for bringing her orders to her, smiling and replied to her.

“Your welcome. Enjoy your food.”

With that, you began to walk back to the front counter when you saw a group of guys gathered in front of the cashier. Right when you were just about to walk past them to head behind the counter, one of them glanced towards his right only to lock eyes with you. It was Sunwoo. The same regular customer that came every morning before his classes. The same guy who you may or may not have a tiny crush on.

The moment you locked eyes, you could feel your heartbeat stop for just a millisecond later as he flashed you a soft smile. This was enough to make you blush as you smiled back to him shyly before quickly making your way behind the counter.

“Oh great, you’re back. Help me take their order will you? I have to prepare the delivery ones.” Kihyun said simply. You were about to protest but you had no choice since the other part timer was on his lunch break.

So you nodded defeatedly before you returned the tray back at the collection point before you went back to the cashier, only to see Sunwoo standing there alone.

“Hey.” Sunwoo said as his lips began to tug upwards.

“Hey. What can I get you today?” You asked with a shy smile. Your voice sounded much softer than usual. You didn’t miss the little chuckle that left his lips before he spoke up.

“There’s gonna be a bit more than one order today.”

“I can see that.” You joked.

“Can I get one regular iced mocha, two regular double chocolate frappe, one small iced americano, one regular iced vanilla latte, and my usual please.”

You keyed in his orders as he spoke, only for you to look back up at him to confirm if that was all he wanted. Sunwoo gave you a firm nod, proceeding to charge him for the orders and soon told him to have a seat, you will call out to him once the drinks are ready. Sunwoo nodded as he left, not forgetting to smile at you for the umpteenth time that day.

You soon came beside Kihyun and started to make the drinks. Sunwoo on the other hand, immediately got dragged down into his seat by Kevin when they began to make comments about you.

“You were right, they’re hella cute!” Kevin said.

“Do you think they’re attached?” Younghoon asked.

“I don’t know. I mean, they’re quite cute. It’s impossible they’re single.” Sangyeon shrugged.

“Not all good looking people are attached. Even some normal looking ones are attached. We can’t just judge from their looks.” Sunwoo said defensively, only for Changmin and Haknyeon to smirk.

“Or are you just saying that because you want them to be single?” Changmin said, causing the rest of them to agree teasingly.

“Whatever, they wouldn’t date someone like me anyway.” Sunwoo said.

Not long after he finished his sentence, your voice echoes around the café walls as you called his name.

“Drinks for Sunwoo.”

With that, Sunwoo got up and soon jogged his way to the collection point, only to find you standing behind the counter with the tray in hand. You smiled as you pushed the tray gently towards him.

“Be careful. It’s heavy.” You warned.

“Don’t worry.” Sunwoo said, couldn’t help but smile at him.

He soon came back to their table and distributed the drinks. Almost half an hour had passed, they were just talking about random topics when Sunwoo happened to glance towards the counter. Seeing you laugh at something your manager said.

He didn’t realize he was smiling until Sangyeon spoke up. “Sunwoo yah, if they make your heart flutter that much, why don’t you just go there and ask them out?”

Sunwoo whips his head to Sangyeon, almost pulling a muscle while doing that.

“What?! N-No!”

“Why not?”

“The last time I asked someone out, I got turned down harshly in front of everyone. I couldn’t sleep for days!”

“Sunwoo yah, you’re just thinking too much. Just try and ask them out. Who knows they’ll accept?” Haknyeon asked.

“I don’t wanna risk it.” Sunwoo said. Glancing back to the front counter.

“Why must I have a crush on the cutest barista working just two blocks away from campus?” Sunwoo thought to himself as he gently shook his head and went back into the conversation with the guys.

A few minutes passed, some of them were discussing their project work while some were doing their own stuff when Sunwoo saw you left the counter only to walk towards an empty table near the back of the café. Since the café was not so packed, Kihyun told you to eat at one of the tables. So as to not feel cramped in the back room.

You had a transparent cup filled with what seems to be strawberry latte and a plate of sandwich. Sunwoo was caught staring by his friends as Younghoon nudged his arm to gain his attention.

“This is your chance to talk to them.”

Sunwoo saw some of them nod in agreement as he glanced back at you who was just taking a bite of the sandwich while scrolling through your phone.

With much motivation, he finally got up and made his way towards your table. You were just looking at your Instagram feed when you saw a figure come to a stop on the opposite side of your table.

You looked up to see Sunwoo standing there with a nervous smile as he spoke up. “Do you need some company?” He asked. You giggled, locking your phone screen and soon placed it face down on the table.

“Sure, that would be great.” You said. He pulled the chair out and soon took a seat.

“You’re just having that for lunch?” He asked curiously as he looked at the plate in front of you.

“Mmm.”

“Is that enough to fill you for the rest of your shift?” He asks, genuinely concerned at how little you ate.

“Yeap! Don’t worry. I always get something heavy to eat before my night classes.”

Sunwoo paused only to raise his eyebrows in confusion.

“Night classes?”

“I’m a part time student at Yonsei U. That’s why I’m a full timer here.”

“Wow… Are you able to cope with work and study at the same time?”

“It can be tiring and mentally exhausting sometimes but I persevere.”

Sunwoo was shocked at this new information but nonetheless gave you some comforting words to help cheer you on. “That’s… a lot to take in. I hope you don’t stress yourself out too much. Please get some rest and don’t overwork yourself.”

You hadn't seen this side of him before but it was very sweet of him to even say all those things to you. You ended up chatting for a bit, only for you both to find out that he was a student at Hankuk U, you were the same age, you both loved sushi and many more.

Your lunch break was ending soon but you were dreading to say goodbye. “Well, it was really nice talking to you Sunwoo, but I’m afraid my break time’s almost over.”

You pouted sadly, only for him to chuckle.

“Do you have class tonight?”

You nodded.

“Hmm, don’t worry okay? I’ll see you tomorrow morning.” Sunwoo said, making you giggle at his disclaimer.

The both of you got up only for him to speak up.

“My friends and I are leaving soon too. I’ll see you tomorrow. Take care, don’t forget to eat before you head to class!” He reminded you. Not forgetting to give him a nod.

A few days later, you had just ended your night class and you were almost burned out for the day, you could barely keep your eyes open. Only for your phone to ring. It was Eric.

“Hello?” You said into the line.

“Hey! Are you finished with class?”

“Yeah. I’m heading down now. Where are you?”

“At the parking lot. Me and Chanhee hyung decided to wait for you today.”

With that being said, you gasped lightly, unable to digest this information.

“Wha- Eric are you serious? You didn’t have to- omg.”

“No, it’s fine! Besides, me and hyung needed to discuss something anyway. Meet us at the parking lot okay?”

Before you could reply, he already hung up the call, making you sigh. You felt bad for making them wait for you since it was already half past 10 at night. But then again, they did it out of their own will. You arrived at the parking lot, only to see Chanhee and Eric leaning against the side of Chanhee’s car amongst a few other vehicles left just chatting away while waiting for you.

Just then, Eric glanced towards the entrance, only to see a very tired you dragging your feet towards them. You could barely open your eyes as you held onto your bag strap for your dear life. Right when you had just arrived in front of them, your vision blacked out, feeling your head pound against your skull. You let out a soft groan, falling forwards, just in time for Eric to catch you.

“Woah, are you okay?” He asked worriedly as Chanhee and him exchanged glances to one another.

“Mmm, y-yeah… I just blacked out for a bit.” You said, only to hear Chanhee sigh.

“How many times must we tell you not to overwork yourself and get some sleep?” Chanhee said.

“I did sleep...” You tried to defend yourself, but they knew you better than you know yourself.

“How many hours did you sleep last night?” Eric asked as he narrowed his eyes at you questioningly. You avoided their piercing gazes by answering their question in a hushed tone.

“An hour and a half.”

With that, your two friends let out a heavy sigh as Eric looked disappointed in his friend. It wasn’t because he was mad at you, it was because he was growing more and more concerned over your sleeping patterns and your health. You weren't just schooling, you were working as well so it would only be right if you maintained a healthy sleeping pattern and a balanced work/study time.

“That’s it. You’re coming home with me. I’m gonna make sure you get that sleep you so well deserved.” Chanhee said as Eric nodded in agreement.

“What? No, I’m fine. Okay, I promise I’ll sleep tonight.” You said.

“Yeah right.”

“You don’t trust me?” You asked with a pout.

“On this? No, I don’t.” With that, you scoffed as you knew you couldn’t fight back with them. So with that being said, you ended up following Chanhee to his apartment since he lived alone. Once you were back at Chanhee’s place, he told you to wash up. He let you borrow a loose shirt and sleeping shorts.

He told you to sleep in his bed and that he could take the couch. At first you rejected it, saying you could sleep on the couch but he refused.

Chanhee purposely placed your bag in the living room so that you couldn’t sneakily stay up all night and worked on your assignment. Chanhee’s body clock was never normal to begin with but to him, your sleeping pattern was more important than his.

Hence, the reason why he was still awake at 3am, watching the live broadcast of the World Cup. He was trying so hard to keep quiet to avoid waking you up as he eagerly watched the tournament. Just then, he thought he heard soft whimpers in his head.

“What the-” He mumbled to himself as he continued watching the game.

Just then, the whimper sounded again and it was a lot more distinct this time. With that, he lowered down the volume just to see if that sound would appear again. Not long after, he heard the whimper again and it seemed to have come from his hallway.

Chanhee got up immediately as he went to his bedroom, opening the door gently.

That’s when he saw you shifting uncomfortably in your sleep. He approached you in a rush as he saw you clutching onto the blanket against your chest as you had a frown on your face.

You were mumbling something in your sleep but he couldn’t really catch what you said.

“(Y/N)? Hey wake up.” Chanhee said softly as he placed a hand on your shoulder and lightly shook it. It took him 3 tries to finally get you awake when you jolted forward. Your breathing was heavy as you sat there with cold sweat running down the side of your face.

“It’s okay (Y/N), you’re okay. I’m here. It’s just a nightmare.” He comforted you while grabbing a handful of his shirt.

He pulled you into a hug, feeling your body shiver. They stayed like that for a while, only for him to tuck you back in bed. He pushed your hair away from your face as he looked down at you gently with a soft smile.

“Goodnight (Y/N).”

“Goodnight Chanhee.”

He was about to walk away when you grabbed his hand.

“Thank you… for everything.”

Chanhee could only smile, gently caressing the back of your hand with his thumb and soon spoke up.

“Get some rest, (Y/N).” You nodded only to let go of his hand. You fell back asleep a few seconds after as he went back to the living room, only to turn off the television and went to sleep himself.

It has been 4 months since Sunwoo first came to the café and you've gotten a lot closer than before.

However, Sunwoo still has yet to ask you out on a date.

It was a chilly Wednesday afternoon and both Chanhee and Eric promised to visit you after their lecture. The time was 35 minutes past 2 and the two guys had just entered the café, settling themselves into one of the empty tables beside the glass window after they ordered their drinks.

After making their drinks, you made your own drink and took one of the sandwiches from the fridge. Making your way to them for your lunch break.

“Hey guys, one iced mocha and one iced matcha latte for the two sweetest guys I’m lucky to have as friends.” You said, causing the two boys to smirk.

“Just friends?” Eric teased.

“Best friends.” You corrected yourself, only for Chanhee to laugh at Eric’s pained reaction.

“Ouch, never thought I’d be friend zoned this quick.”

You found yourself giggling as you spoke up to comfort your friend while you took a seat beside him.

“I love you, Eric ah.”

He couldn’t find himself being angry at you as he immediately melted and soon became a giggling mess. You were just chatting away, gossiping about the same stuck up girl in their class who keeps acting as if everyone was head over heels for when they’re actually not.

Just then, a familiar voice calls out to Chanhee and Eric from a distance behind you making your heart skip a beat.

“Hey! Hyung! Eric ah!”

Chanhee glanced past your shoulder while Eric turned to look over his own shoulder before they smiled widely and waved eagerly to whoever was behind you.

“That voice…” You whispered under your breath, only to slowly turn around. That’s when you saw Sunwoo walking up to your table along with his usual group of friends. However, you didn’t miss the look on Sunwoo’s face when he locked eyes with you. He was definitely surprised but also confused as to why you were seated with his friends.

“Oh? It’s the cute barista!” Juyeon said innocently. Flashing them a bashful smile. Just then, both Chanhee and Eric turned to look at each other simultaneously only for them to look at you and spoke up in unison.

“You’re the cute barista Sunwoo’s been talking about?!”

With that, Sunwoo gestured a punch to them signalling them to keep quiet. Only for him to look at you and ask.

“You know them?”

You could only nod as you told him the truth.

“I’ve known them since college.”

The rest of the boys gasped at the newly profound information. They couldn’t believe you were mutual friends with Chanhee and Eric. The 12 of you ended up sitting in two separate tables side by side whilst Chanhee and Eric began to spill the tea about Sunwoo.

“I can’t believe he’s been talking about you all these while.” Eric said.

“If I had known sooner, I would have set you two up on a date.” Chanhee said, causing you to glance at Sunwoo who was sitting opposite you. You cleared your throat and glanced down at your wrist watch before you got up abruptly to avoid any more awkward conversations.

“Oh look, my break time is ending. Nice talking to you guys. Thanks for visiting me today, my babies. More cakes for you? Yes? Okay.” You said in a rush. Quickly leaving the table, earning a laugh from the guys. Thinking that your actions are cute.

“Sunwoo, you really have a good taste don’t you?” Eric teased, making Sunwoo throw a tissue paper packet to Eric’s face, catching the poor boy by surprise.

You were in the back room, having a short break when your co-worker, Mingi called for you from the door.

“(Y/N), somebody wants to talk to you. He said he’s a friend of yours?” Mingi said, making you hum in confusion but nonetheless left the back room.

Only to be met with Sunwoo standing at the collection point.

“Sunwoo?”

“Hey, umm, I was wondering… Are you… free, this weekend?” You found yourself blushing as you tried to come up with a quick response.

“Uhh yeah. Yeah, I’m free.” Sunwoo didn’t expect you to say yes so quickly but it definitely made him feel slightly happy that he didn’t get rejected.

“Great. Umm, I’ll pick you up at 8?”

“Okay.” You smiled genuinely.

“Okay… Well, I uhh, better get going. Bye (Y/N). See you.” He said shyly, his ears starting to burn red.

“See you Sunwoo.” You said, only for him to quickly leave before his whole tomato head explodes.

Weekends finally came and it was already 30 minutes past 7 and you were struggling to find a nice outfit to wear. You didn’t know exactly where he was taking you, all he said was to wear nicely. You were nervous to say the least. You haven't been on a date in like what? 2 years?

Ever since your last date where you got stood up, you decided not to go on any more blind dates. You would rather stay single for the rest of your life than being played with and getting your heart broken again and again.

Sunwoo texted you a few minutes later saying he was downstairs so you replied by saying you’ll be down in a minute. You soon left your apartment and locked the doors before heading down the corridor towards the lift lobby. Once you were at ground level, you made your way out, only to see Sunwoo leaning against his car door.

The minute he noticed your figure walking towards him, he looked up only to give you a one over. You stopped a few feet in front of him with a shy smile as he spoke up.

“Wow, you look really stunning.”

“Thank you. You look dashing.” You giggled.

Sunwoo was wearing a dark blue button down shirt tucked into his black denim skinny jeans, a pair of black sneakers and a few stainless steel accessories. He recently dyed his hair to a deep berry colour. He soon opened the door for you. Getting in before he walked over to the driver seat. Once he was in, he buckled his seatbelt and started his car engine.

“Where are we going?” You asked.

“It’s a surprise.” Sunwoo said with a cheeky smile as you could feel your heartstrings pull.

The drive to the destination wasn’t as long as you thought, maybe because the journey was filled with jokes and laughter every now and then. Before you knew it, he finally pulled into a parking lot at what seems to be an outdoor movie theatre.

“Sunwoo yah… This is…” You paused as you got out of the car while he reached over to the back seat to take the blanket he brought to lay it down on the grass. He came back to your side after locking his car, only for you to continue from where you left off.

“So cute. How did you even find out about this outdoor movie?”

He smiled as you both began to walk towards the open space where quite a lot of couples were already seated down on their own blankets.

“My friend told me about this when he went on a date with his girlfriend the other day. So I figured why not give it a try.” Sunwoo said, making you blush.

You managed to find an empty space so he laid down the blanket and soon sat down. While waiting for the movie, you talked about almost anything. The movie soon started as everyone was starting to get excited. Halfway through the beginning of the movie, you were sitting beside Sunwoo with your legs extended out in front of you.

The night slowly got breezy, feeling the cool air blowing on you softly. Just then, he saw you straightening your posture, rubbing your arms to keep yourself warm. He felt bad that he couldn’t give you his jacket since he didn’t wear any.

However, an idea flashed across his mind, making him turn to you to speak.

“Hey, are you cold?” He asked. You turned to him with a small smile before you answered.

“Yeah, but it’s fine. It’s just a little chilly, that’s all.” Sunwoo wasn’t convinced as he saw your teeth clattering, making him chuckle softly.

“You know, I heard from somewhere that close body contact can keep us warm.” Sunwoo suggests indirectly to you, turning your head to him to see a playful smile on his lips.

You giggled as you looked at him with your brows raised.

“Are you okay with it?”

“If I wasn’t, I wouldn’t suggest it would I?” He asked, causing you to mentally facepalm at your ridiculous self.

“Right. You have a point.”

You heard him chuckle when he pat the empty spot in between his legs, gesturing for you to come over.

“C’mere.” He said.

Once you have settled down between his legs, you feel him wrap his arms around your body, trapping your arms. Gently pressing your back against his chest. Warmth immediately engulfing you both as you snuggled deeper into his chest.

“Warm enough?” He asked, only for you to nod.

You stayed like that for the rest of the movie. Sacrificing his back if it meant keeping you warm throughout the 1 and a half hours of the movie.

After the movie ended, you went to get supper before he sent you home. You agreed to let him walk you all the way to your door. Hence, the reason why you were now standing outside your apartment door. You unlocked the door but then turned around to face him.

“Thank you for today Sunwoo. It was a fun experience watching a movie outdoors for the first time under the starry night.” You said as he smiled.

“I’m glad you liked it…”

“I hope we can do something like this again soon.” At that being said, his ears perked up, staring at you in awe.

“A-Again? Does that mean…?” He paused, causing you to giggle.

“Yes. I’d love to go on a date with you again.”

Sunwoo couldn’t contain his excitement as he smiled from ear to ear, his adorable toothy grin made your heart skip a few beats. He elicited a soft giggle, biting his lip to stop himself from smiling too much.

Just then, you decided to take it upon yourself by pressing a soft kiss onto his cheek. Sunwoo was frozen in place as you smiled up to him endearingly before you bid him goodbye. You quickly entered your apartment to hide your flushed face when you could feel the embarrassment starting to creep up on you. You leaned against the door. Trying to steady your heartbeat.

After what felt like forever, you finally pushed yourself off the door and was about to walk deeper into your apartment when there was a knock.

You turned around to open it and you were greeted by Sunwoo again, seeming he finally came into senses.

Without any words exchanged, he took one quick step forward, reaching up to cup your face with one hand before he gently pressed his lips against yours. You melted almost immediately when you felt him smile into the kiss. Sunwoo could feel his heart get weaker, snaking one hand around your waist while pulling you closer to him.

Your hands rested on his chest as he pulled away with a soft sound, only for you to keep your gaze on his collarbone. Too shy to look at him in the eye.

Sunwoo gently took your chin in between his thumb and index finger. Tilting your head up, making you lock eyes with him.

“I’m pretty sure that just proves to you how I feel about you, but I still wanna tell you in words. I really, really like you. And I would love to take you out on more dates and be able to call you mine.”

With his cute confession, you couldn’t help but giggle. Wrapping your arms around his neck before you spoke up.

“I like you too Sunwoo. And yes, I would love to go on dates with you, and for you to call me yours.” With that being said, Sunwoo smiled in victory. Kissing you again sweetly.

The next day, you broke the news to your friends as you got happy cheers and excited screams in the group chat. Sunwoo never thought he would date anyone after being rejected multiple times but maybe he was fated to meet you and be the person who orders the same drink every time at the café you worked in. Maybe now he could finally live his love life with more cuddles and Strawberry Lattes.

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