Some thoughts about Cater
So much of Cater's life has been dictated by other people's opinions of him, that I think most of what we know of him may not really be who he actually is. I'd even argue that skateboarding and spicy food are possibly the only glimpses we get of Cater's "true" interests and his innermost self, outside of the things that he feels he "should" like.
He looks to others to guide what he wears, what he does, what he likes. We've seen it over and over again; in his Silk Adorned vignette, in his Labwear vignette, when he was helping taste-test items for the Mostro Lounge in the manga anthology, during Chapter 1 and the beginning of Chapter 7, and in so many other scenarios, too. Even his best subject is astrology, looking to the stars for meaning and direction. He's been guided by outsiders; interests and perceptions for nearly his entire life: first, expected to be cute and sweet by his sisters, then expected to be trendy by people online, plus all the other expectations of the other roles he has - Heartslabyul student, upperclassman, friendly and supportive "Cay-Cay". And he became those things.
He takes in other's opinions, and shapes his own in that manner. Now, there's nothing wrong with looking to other people for guidance, but Cater seems to almost lose himself in the wash of opinions, and he fully adapts himself in order to match what is expected of him in each scenario.
There does exist a cute version of Cater. There does exist a trendy version of Cater. There does exist a lonely, tired version of Cater. There does exist a cheery, friendly version of Cater. All of these are true expressions of one or another form of who he is, and make up what we see as "Cay-Cay", "Cay-kun", "Cater Diamond".
But I don't know if we really see him in the way that he feels himself to be; if his deeper desires, what he looks for outside of the things he does for validation come to light much at all.
I know it's been mentioned before how well Cater's Unique Magic suits him, but it SUITS him. He's so multifaceted, that it's hard to tell who or where the "real" one is. But gosh, if I wouldn't love to see him as he is when he's alone. The Cater that isn't focussed on what other people think of him at that moment. The one who orders spicy foods that he'll enjoy eating rather than the more aesthetic ones he won't want to taste. The one who will actually relax.
He deserves to express himself in every way. Including the ways he doesn't usually choose to.
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HEYYY…. So like I know this was from like A MONTH ago… BUT. if u ever want to again I think Chuuya in a jacket like this could be pretty cool
HI SORRY AGAIN BECAUSE THIS TOOK ME SO LONG BUT I WAS IN FINALS.
I have to thank you because starting this drawing between exams gave me a +100 power up. And made me so happy. Thats why i drew a complete look and i-
ANYWAYS HOPE U ENJOY
PS: I ll kiss everyone that can read the pins and tell me the bands/singers
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My relationship with Izzy Hands is so special because sometimes it's like "Yes, he is a nuanced character whose actions cause harm, but I love analyzing him and sympathizing with him and I think his actions and the reasoning behind his actions are fascinating and I understand how he can be interpreted to be a cruel person when he is a tragic character being driven by circumstance and by his past"
Other times it's like "This is my special little guy and no one else understands him like I do. We have a bond. No one else understands how important he is or how his complexity fuels him. The only interpretation that is correct is my own and no one else can possibly understand him."
And sometimes it's "haha. What a bottom"
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My favorite thing? Tim Drake is a genius who is also super...super stupid
He's hacking into classified files and solving cases in minutes...but he's also shoving a fork down the toaster trying to pull out his stuck bread
He forgets everyday words but can remember the longer(less used, lesser known or even just the more difficult to remember) synonym of that word.
He also is stupid in the name of knowing things. Like...if he has a question that can only be solved by doing SMTHN ridiculous...he will. You know the fics the ones where he finds out he's immortal. (Aka him literally unaliving himself, or putting himself in danger ...)
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Boston giving Sand the Reality Check he needed Part 1 of 2: Boston's Reasoning
This is my thoughts on Boston and Ray's fallout, how and why it came about and how Sand did really need it - which I start talking about in this meta - even though despite Boston's insistence his purpose was never to help Sand.
I didn't mean to make this two parts but I started writing the Boston portion of the meta and it turned into what it did kajsfhsdkjfh and I needed to approach Sand and Ray's portion a little more seriously. Without further ado, here goes:
[SCENE START]
Imagine you are Boston, the son of a politician, loaded with money but not a lot of visibility or acceptance (I mean if you watch enough Thai dramas you know what politician is code for - corruption, deception, selfishness, entitlement). You are extremely entitled, extremely guarded and extremely unscrupulous and this is what you've been taught life is, what successful, powerful people are like and you are successful and powerful even though things have not quite been going your way recently. Even though earlier on in the day you had your first human emotion:
(give the boy a break he is starting to figure out why people have boyfriends okay? much less that he also kind of wants one??? the emotional TOLL he is under oh boy)
and on top of all that suddenly you have been called for emotional support??? Mew is supposed to call Ray this is very much not your job!!! Can Mew's virgin ass please get over one stupid kiss already???
So Mew has called you and he is THE LAST person you ever want to help with THE LAST problem you've ever wanted to help him with. But you squeeze down the sting of rejection, the inferiority you feel from it - are you perhaps?? not as successful and powerful as you thought??? - and you try to be a normal, human person for A SECOND TIME in ONE day (!!!!) and be a good friend
And you did such a good job!!! You didn't play into his insecurities or try to ruin it for him - even though you wanted to!!! - because at the end of the day Mew is your friend and you know how important his virginity is to him.
And now you are ready for some MUCH NEEDED REST from all that decent human being cosplay that you've been doing. And there is a cute guy who likes you and he has an apartment where you can go and fuck him and even though the day is ruined there is still chance for the night to recover but uh oh!!!! What's that???
A Situation You Do Not Understand!!!!! Involving the man who fucked up being manipulated so badly that you had to do 5 seconds of emotional labor earlier that day.
Now, you have a choice as an adult to mind your business and walk away into that promised room of fucking that cute guy you were going to fuck. But you are also The Son of a Politician and if there is one thing you know it's that information is power and the instinct to meddle like a 70 year old auntie is slowly overtaking your senses.
And so you ask a seemingly innocent question with auntie-adjacent straightforwardness:
And your hot mess of a best friend comes up with the shadiest, juiciest answer while his partner is looking at him like his soul is leaving his body:
On top of that there is weed????? In the form of a delicious looking cookie?????? At this point you are on a missive FROM GOD to find out What The Fuck is Going On.
And what the fuck IS going on?????
An absolute bonkers situation is unfolding, Ray somehow in the mess of his life and his unrequited feelings for Mew is living some romcom with the cute bar singer! Ray!!! The alcoholic!!!!! the one friend you could always count on to make you feel better about the mess that is your life. The one friend you will always be superior to - THAT RAY???
And to make matters worse!!! The cute guy you're with Knows Everything. You have been so busy squeezing out three drops of human emotions because you want to keep the Cute Guy You Kind Of Sort Of Might Like around that you forgot to get around to the 'so do you know any gossip' portion of the casual fucking programming.
Not only are you fucking up your duties to the Politicians' Son Upbringing but the dormant auntie inside you gets another whiff of that fat, juicy gossip as Ray pulls a second 'We Are Just Friends' after you JUST witnessed Sand feed him an edible WITH HIS MOUTH
And you're not trying to stir shit - promise!!! - you just want to see your alcoholic friend stutter and get awkward, put in his place a little bit because Mew might have you beat but there's no way that this flaming hot mess has you beat.
Except!!! UH OH!!!! Ray is an idiot! He is so in wanting of love and finding himself undeserving of it that he has genuinely Not Noticed that the man next to him is In Love With Him. He is not you!! - acutely aware of how his cute guy is in love with him - he is Discovering That Sand Likes Him and somehow you have been duped into helping????
Sand's soul is back in his body and they are somehow Being Worse than before.
But your Help A Friend Quota is OUT! You have spent IT ALL on Mew earlier and You. Are. Done.
Only one person is allowed to cosplay a decent human being tonight and BY GOD it will not be Ray! The only thing left to do is To Bring Out The Gasoline.
And So?
You Do.
[END SCENE]
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