#and i need to reread *at least* the first cook

[lyriumsings]

sad bc i can’t really pin down which oc was my first oc bc ive literally been making them for as long as i can remember ive had them for every interest ive ever watched, played or read. but if i had to choose i think the title of My First Ever Oc would have to go to my percy jackson one tbh who honestly should probably be completely revamped SHSJ

#i made her when i was literally single digits and therefore #she carries a lot of internalized racism tbh #she was straight and cis and white as hell #i think her name was elenora and she was absolutely from apollo cabin lmao #never drew her or anything #i think i wanna make a completely new one tho #with completely different everything #lyriumsings txt #percy jackson airs in like a month #and i need to reread *at least* the first cook #book* #speaking of books deadass i’m about to order the other percy jackson book that came out in sept #i’m so excited to read about him again #missed him so much #he’s hands down one of my favorite blorbos #he shaped part of my psyche #can’t believe there was a time when percy was older than me as a child #nico TOO THO! i remember being so shocked when he was forced to put himself #out* #like i absolutely at age 15 was expecting the confession to be about annabeth i was like why is this so hard it’s so obvious #and then boom it was not obvious SJSJSJJS

[holylulusworld]

Gun for hire (1)

Summary: You’re his next target. Nothing else. Right?

Pairing: Lloyd Hansen x fem!Reader

Warnings: hiring a killer, Lloyd being Lloyd, being followed, sunshine reader

Gun for hire (Prologue)

Gun for hire masterlist

Lloyd curses himself once again.

He still didn’t get his money. His newest client is an annoying piece of shit. And on top of the pile of shit, this assignment turned into, the exotic beard wax he wanted to order was sold out.

In other words. Lloyd Hansen is fucking livid. 

This doesn’t keep him from following his latest target around town.

So far you went to work, bought a muffin on your way to the library, and talked to the librarian for half an hour.

Lloyd yawns, bored beyond belief. He never followed such a boring person. Most of the people he killed were criminals, or at least interesting. You’re just…too nice.

You made it your mission to visit the elderly librarian every day after work to make sure she gets her extra portion of sugar – hence the muffin you bought. Plus, you try to make her feel needed by asking questions about books you already read.

He’s close to calling it a day when a man walks past you and the librarian. The man bumps into your side and has the guts to yell at you.

Lloyd pokes his head around the shelf he is hiding behind to watch you smile at the man. He can’t believe that you smile at a man yelling at you not moments ago.

“Crazy,” he concludes but decides to watch you for a little longer. Assignment or not, he’s got nothing better to do today.

“Sir,” you carefully pat the man’s arm while you speak to him in a low, but soft tone. “Your day must have been hard.” You batt your eyelashes, and smile again. “Otherwise, you wouldn’t have been so rude, right?” 

The man suddenly smiles and apologizes repeatedly. The man’s whole demeanor changed so suddenly Lloyd could not believe his eyes.

“Drugs maybe…or a hidden gun?” Lloyd wonders. No man ever changed their opinion so fast without being under the influence of drugs, or in danger. “That woman must be the devil in disguise or something. She must be more dangerous than I first thought.”

“Come on, do something more exciting,” Lloyd grunts as your daily routine drives him up the walls. He looks at his notes again and sighs deeply. 

He rereads his notes and tries to find new information.

“Work. Buying something sweet for Grace, the elderly librarian. Talking to said librarian for half an hour. Going home. Watching TV.”

This is not how imagined his Friday night would look like. He wanted to spend it at his favorite strip club, a pretty girl’s mouth wrapped around his dick.

“She’s so…” he rubs his tired eyes, “boring. I can’t believe someone wants to kill her.” Lloyd ignores the kink in his neck and his burning eyes, or the fact that he’s watching you giggle at something your elderly neighbor said. “I hate her so much.” 

He could just end your life or call it a day, but he keeps on watching you smile and giggle. “She’s a fucking ray of sunshine. What the fuck!”

Lloyd shakes his head. Today someone spilled coffee all over your pretty sundress. Your boss yelled at you. And you lost your phone.

Nothing seems to ruin your mood. You are still laughing and joking with your neighbor.

“I should just go over there and kill them both. Less headache for me – a house and a car for my client,” Lloyd is tempted to get his gun and silencer out to shoot you and your neighbor. “Maybe later. I need to unlock her phone first…”

Lloyd rolls his eyes while scrolling through your phone. There are mostly pictures of bees, flowers, and cake on your phone. No interesting or naughty stuff. 

“This woman can’t be real. She buys sweets for the librarian; cooks soup for her sick neighbor and has a fucking insect hotel on her veranda. She’s crazy…this must be it.” 

He nods to himself. “I need to find out more about her. Maybe some files are password-protected. I know she’s hiding shit from me.”

“Boss, it’s two weeks,” one of Lloyd’s men dares to say. “He didn’t pay.” The man clears his throat. “The woman is still alive too. What is your plan?”

“I need to find out more about her,” Lloyd grunts. He doesn’t need one of his bootlickers to sniff around and find out Lloyd is following you because he’s fascinated and a little grossed out by your bubbly personality.

Your friendliness is hard to stomach, and he wants to find at least one thing you try to hide before he kills you.

“Boss, he didn’t pay,” the man insists. “We don’t work for free. That’s rule number—” A gunshot ends the man’s life. 

“Rule number four is to never doubt me and my decisions,” Lloyd sneers at the dead man on the ground. He snaps his fingers at one of the others. “Clean this up. I got a job to do.”

“Boss…” the man nods and goes to work.

“And bring me her boyfriend. He broke our contract and didn’t pay me a single buck. I want to know why he believes he can fuck with Lloyd fucking Hansen.”

“What are you doing at my house?” You take a step back. A stranger is standing in your living room, a gun with a silencer aimed at your head. “Oh…Tommie.” You shake your head and sigh. “He’s such an unhappy man.”

Lloyd cocks a brow at your reaction. You don’t scream or beg. Instead, you are concerned about your ex-boyfriend.

“He doesn’t have the money to pay me back for the house and car,” you conclude and nod to yourself. “But he has the money to pay you?”

You take a step toward Lloyd, taking him by surprise. He backpaddles and aims his gun back at you.

“You don’t look like a guy he found on the street and paid him twenty bucks. You look like a…” You tilt your head to look the man in front of you up and down, “professional.”

“Sorry, but you got to go…” He murmurs, wondering a little about his words. It’s the first time he said more to a target than hello and goodbye.

“Uh-okay,” you wring your hands. “I just ordered takeout. Can I eat it before you kill me?” You cock a brow. “You know, the whole last meal thing and stuff. I got dessert too. Please don’t let me die hungry.”

Lloyd is stunned. No target ever accepted their fate without fighting back. Most of them at least begged and pleaded or offered more money.

“You can have some dessert too,” you softly say. “I guess in your line of business you don’t often get invited.” You giggle. “You know, because you kill all of your clients.”

“I don’t kill my clients,” he sighs. “Fine, have your last meal. You are giving me a fucking headache, sunshine.”

“Aw, that’s a cute nickname,” you point out. “Do you call your girlfriend that too?” You ask while walking past Lloyd. “I’m going to eat now. Please don’t shoot me before I finish my meal.”

“Just shut up,” he grunts and follows you inside the kitchen. “Why are you not screaming or throwing a tantrum?”

You shrug. “We all must die one day. Right?” Watching Lloyd, you smile. “Please don’t shoot me in the face. Someone must identify me, and I don’t want them to see me like that.”

“You always think about others first.” 

He watches you prepare two plates of food. You watch him watching you. He cocks a brow, believing you will try to trick him. “It’s not poisoned. I’ll eat it too.”

“Do you want to sort things out first?”

“I got everything sorted out,” you smile. “I’m just worried about my neighbor and the stray cat I feed. They are both old and need help.”

Lloyd shakes his head. “You must be crazy thinking about others while a stranger threatens to kill you.”

“I thought you wanted to kill me, not just threaten me,” you round the counter to place a plate close to him. “I didn’t take you for someone making empty promises.” You run your fingertips over the hand holding the gun and smile. “Right. Mr.…?”

“Lloyd,” he says and drops his eyes to your finger running over his hand. “Are you flirting with me?”

You look him straight in the eyes and smile. “Why would I flirt with my executioner?”

Gun for hire (2)

Tags in reblog.

#lloyd hansen #lloyd hansen x reader #lloyd hansen x you #lloyd hansen x y/n #Gun for hire (1) #x reader

[eddiemunsons-missingnipple]

𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝒃𝒐𝒚 𝒊𝒔 𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒆 (𝑫𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒂'𝒔 𝑬𝒅𝒊𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏)

I wanted to do this cute little writing challenge @carolmunson created. You can find the rules here

CW: Eddie munson x reader, fluff. New relationship. Mention of weed at least once. suggestive theme toward the end, but it's nothing bad, really. A little moment of self depreciation.

WC:1.9k

prompt rules: the scene: a romantic night in at the trailer.

props included/mentioned (in passing or can hold bigger meaning): a throw pillow, vanilla frosting, a small notebook. dialogue included (can be manipulated slightly if needed, can be placed in any order): "i ran out of like, nice cups, is this okay?" ; "aw, don't be like that. that's not even true." ; "and you like that?" ; "if you don't stop, we're gonna have a problem."

A/n: Not proofread, so please ignore any mistakes. My first time doing a writing challenge, and this one was too adorable to pass up.

5:00 pm

Eddie was busy rushing around the trailer, making sure it was clean and perfect before you came over. You and him haven't been dating for too long now. He still wanted to make a good impression on you. His original plan was to take you out on a nice romantic date, but as his luck would have it, he just couldn't afford to right now.

So he opted to suggest for you to come by and have a nice romantic date at his place instead. Which you were all for. Eddie zoomed around the place with a tiny notebook in his hand. He had literally everything planned out for how the night is supposed to go.

He even cooked and baked for you. He doesn't even do that for himself. He was dead serious about you. No more chickening out just because he's scared of the possibility of getting hurt.

You met at the Hideout in town when you first moved to Hawkins. He helped get you a job there by sweet talking the owner. Since then, he's been following you around like a lost puppy

Eddie finished having the entire living room set up for you two. Throw pillows everywhere along with extra blankets. Little tea light candles on saucer plates are scattered about. He kicked his uncle wayne out hours ago to set everything up for your date. He wanted the mood and setting to be just how envisioned it.

He would religiously check his watch over and over again. You weren't late by any means. Eddie was just getting impatient. He wanted you here so bad. He needed you to see what all he's done.

5:30 pm rolls around.

Soft knocks on his door alerted that you were finally here.

You were standing on his porch, waiting for him to answer. You still held the little note he left you after work in your hand.

Hey, babe, I hope you're still ready for our date tonight. I know I am. You don't need to bring anything but yourself. I have everything we need. Miss you already.

- Eddie ᡣ𐭩

You reread it as you waited for him to open up for you. You didn't want to just barge in even though he's told you many times you absolutely could.

You knock again.

"Comin" His muffled voice yelled from inside. You could hear his feet pounding on the floor as he swung open the door.

"Hey!" You greeted with a big smile. "Can I come in?"

He opened the door fully ,ushering you inside with a slight bow. "Shit, yeah, come in. come in."

You walked in and stood by the front door, looking around, you noticed how he decorated and cleaned up for you. You smiled to yourself thinking about all the trouble he's gone through tonight just for you.

"You can have a seat or keep me company in the kitchen." He stood next to you but kept some distance.

"I'd love to. Ya need me to help with anything?" You walked slowly behind him to stand behind the counter.

Eddie definitely didn't want you to help. The only thing he needed you to do was simply be here. That's it. That's all he needed. Your presence and showing up were enough for him.

"Nope." He shook his head, continuing to spread vanilla frosting on the cupcakes he made.

You could tell he was nervous. He shouldn't be. While you haven't been dating for long, you figured you two were past being nervous around each other. Eddie did warn you that he wasn't always the best at relationships. He tried to be. He truly did. His fears of heartbreak and rejection are what held him back from opening up to someone. He wanted to change all of that with you. You still gave him a chance despite all of that.

There was silence for a couple of minutes as you stand next time. "Sooo, whatcha cookin? smells good."

"Spaghetti and for dessert homemade cupcakes straight from Betty crocker herself." Eddie glanced your way to see if he got a smile from you. Even better, he got a laugh out of you.

"Do you mind if I have one now?" You batted your lashes at him. You loved innocently flirting with him. He would get all flustered, and his cheeks would get red.

He looked between you and the cupcakes that he attempted at frosting. "Sure." He couldn't say no.

He was sucker for you already. You had him wrapped around your finger, and you didn't even know it.

You picked up a tiny cupcake that was covered in ninety percent icing. You took a big bite, getting the vanilla frosting all over your lips and nose. Eddie watched in amusement with a small blush on his cheeks.

"Hang on, let me do something." He leans forward, giving the tip of your nose a quick kiss. "You had some frosting from the cupcake-"

Your face got hot as you realized he was kissing away the frosting.

"I have icing on my lips, too." You teased. You wanted to poke the bear and see how far you could go. Eddie took the hint and knew you were messing with him.

He rolled his eyes. "Fine." He puckered up his lips to give you a sweet kiss. "The frosting tastes way better this way."

You can tell he's loosening up the longer you're alone with him. At first, he seemed on edge. As if he was still trying his hardest to impress you. Or to do his best and not scare you off. He didn't have to worry about a thing. You were just as serious about him as he was about you.

You noticed a small black notebook on the counter next to splatters of spaghetti sauce. You sneakily make your way over to it and have peak while he's busy. His eyes were trained on making little smiley faces on the cupcakes. Flipping through the pages, you saw how he wrote down tonight's schedule for your date. He had everything planned out down to if he'd ask you to spend the night or let you leave.

Turning the next page, you found little love notes scribbled through made out to you. You glance his way, and he's still busy huming to himself while adding sprinkled to the cupcakes. You closed it and sneakily put it back. The tiny notebook seemed very personal from the quick glimpse you got from it. Either way, your heart was melting at the thought of Eddie wanting this night to be perfect.

"I figured we could chill out in the living room while we eat. Watch some movies, too."Eddie spoke up.

"Sounds perfect to me." You stepped out of the kitchen to lounge back on his couch.

Eddie followed behind you with two big bowls of spaghetti he made. "I'll get the drinks for us. Anything special? Water? Soda?"

You grabbed your bowl from his hands. "Got any Doctor Pepper?"

"I suuuuure do." He winked.

He rushed back in with a beer in one hand and a plastic cup full of ice with your drink in the other. "I ran out of like, nice cups, Is this okay?"

"Yes, Eddie I wasn't expecting to drink, Dr. Pepper from a champagne glass." You carefully took your drink.

"Listen -" He paused, sitting next to you. "I just want you to know you mean a lot to me. And if i could provide it, all of your drinks would be poured in some fancy ass cup." He smiled, rubbing the back of his neck. He felt awkward after saying that, but it was all true.

Eddie really wasn't a pro at this sort of thing. he hoped by now you knew how special already are to him. Even with his shitty analogies. He hoped you got the message.

"That was...one of the sweetest things anyone has ever said to me." You took a big sip, Dr Pepper smiling in your cup.

"You're such a smartass."

Now, it was his turn to laugh. He got up and went over to the tv, picking up the three movies he "rented."

"Went to family video got a couple of things to watch - and a special one for later." He wiggled his eyebrows. The "special one" was literally Star Wars. He's been dying to watch it with you ever since you told you never seen it.

You rolled your eyes. "That guy Steve give you a deal?"

"Sure did. All I had to do was give an ounce for free." Eddie held up three VHS tapes in one hand, showing his victory.

"Okay, then what movie are we watching first?" You nodded, taking the throw pillow next to you in your lap.

"What about critters?" He suggested.

You shook your head and grimaced. "Eww !no, that movie is stupid it's just a bunch of hairballs attacking people."

Eddie snorts, popping the movie into the vcr anyway." Now you know how my uncle wayne feels cleaning out our shower drain."

You fake gagged. The last thing you want to imagine is globs of Eddie's hair being pulled from a shower drain as you eat.

"So, ummm, I was thinking," it was your turn to get a nervous now. "Are you free tomorrow?"

He frowned. "No. I wish. I have my D&D club to...morrow." He started to hesitate through speaking.

"D&d club?" You repeated. "Dungeons and Dragons? That kind of D&d?"

"Yep." He spoke a little too loud and a little too fast.

The intro to the movie is already playing, but neither one of you are interested.

"And you like that sort of stuff?" You quickly realized how that probably came off wrong, and it's not how you intended. "I mean, you just never mentioned it before."

Truth is, he doesn't know why he never mentioned it. Maybe it's because he was always told it was just a fantasy game. That he was too old to be playing it. Eddie didn't care what anyone thought of him except for you. Which deep down is probably why he didn't tell you.

"Yeah, sweetheart, you're dating a bit of a loser." He sighed. Any minute now, he was expecting you to make fun of him. Or call him a loser, too.

That never came.

He shouldn't assume you would see him like that. Primarily over something harmless as playing Dungeon and Dragons.

Make no mistake Eddie didn't view himself as a loser either. He got too accustomed to hearing people calling him that based on the way he dressed and his hobbies. He didn't see himself that way, but others did.

Your face softens "aw don't be like that. That's not even true!"

You looked at him for a moment. Taking in his side profile. You could tell he was slowly slipping into a funk, and you didn't want that.

You by no means have ever thought Eddie was a loser. He was a sweet, gentle, and very caring guy. A little hyper at times. But you loved that about him too.

"I'd like to watch you play sometime. If you wouldn't mind."

Eddies eyes light up. "I could always teach you how to play instead."

"I'd love that. Why didn't you tell me any of this?" You turned your body so you're now facing him. You were still hugging that throw pillow so tight.

"Well, I was trying to play hard to get. if I told you I was a dungeon master for my club-" His tone dripped with sarcasm as he continued on.

He was trying to lighten up the mood a bit more. "You wouldn't be able to keep your hands off me. bad enough, you couldn't seem to resist my gorgeous hair."

Eddie waved a hand through his hair, letting it fly over his shoulder. He was cut short when you decided to take that throw pillow from your lap and thwap the back of his head with it.

"Ow!" He laughed, looking at you in shock.

"Your hair is hard to resist," your tone matching his sarcasm, "and miss." You mumbled under your breath.

"Oh please, I'm irresistible." He chuckled.

You went to go strike him again with the pillow, but this time, he caught it.

"If you don't stop, we're gonna have a problem." Eddie playfully warned, snatching the throw pillow from your hands.

"Oooh, and what exactly are you gonna do about it?" You taunted.

"I dunno maybe kiss you again. Maybe I'll touch you a little bit, see if I can get you to squirm." He smirked and bit his lip, waiting for your reaction.

That shy nervous wreck of a man that greeted you at the front door was long now.

Your eyes widened as you huffed. "Shut up, Eddie."

"Thought so, now watch the movie our date isn't over yet."

#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson #joseph quinn #eddie munson fanfic #stranger things #eddie munson x reader fluff #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson blurb #writing challenge #eddie munson fluff

[bomberqueen17]

don't know where else to put it

I was going to do a big wrap-up of Everything I Learned From The Must Farm Site Report PDFs but then life got super busy. So I only have the things I turned over and over in my mind, just now, and I want to go back and reread but now's not the time, I'll have to do another pass through at a later date.

But the one tiny vivid little factoid I've got in my mind that I just have to write down-- that necklace, with the big amber bead? Some of the glass beads were shattered from the heat but the amber bead was only charred a little on one side. So obviously some of the necklace was closer to the fire than the rest. I had initially connected that it was found near where there was probably a door, and I vaguely imagined someone dropping it as they fled. But now I'm convinced that's not it at all.

It was hanging up. It was hanging on a peg or a hook or a twig or something, right near the door, maybe even on display, and the big heavy amber bead was hanging at the bottom, and the glass beads were hanging at the top, and the fire at that point spread down from the roof and it burned through the string, and the glass beads shattered and the necklace fell down and when the floor collapsed it wound up in the mud.

The other thing I keep thinking is that the fire has to have started while no one was home. And modern people don't think about this, but in a premodern society where you've got a group of people living in a house, where you don't have appliances you can turn on and off, where starting a fire takes serious effort and getting it to a state where you can cook on it takes hours, where the food served at daily meals has to be the full-time job of several people because it's so labor-intensive--

there's never going to be a time where everyone is out of the village. There's going to be a sickly or elderly person who can't really get out of bed or move far, or a new mother who's just given birth and can't travel, and there'll be someone home to tend to whoever that is, and while they're home they're tending the fire and getting dinner started. There's just always someone there. I could see maybe one house being unoccupied for a brief time, but a village, that probably had at least ten houses if not more, and each house had ten people in it? Someone would be home. And those who weren't home wouldn't be far. We know the wheat etc. that the village was eating was grown on dry land, and the flax they were processing into fiber, but it could not have been far away. And the Fenlands are flat. You'd see smoke. Before the first house was even engulfed someone would have noticed the smoke and they'd be hurrying home.

But nobody tried to fight the fire. Nobody spread it, but nobody fought it either. Nobody pulled any timbers out to save them. Nobody threw water on anything.

Nobody was there. The houses were empty. Nobody fled the fire, because they weren't there to see it start, or they would have been able to stop it.

They hadn't been evacuated in any organized way, or surely the bead necklace would have been taken. Even if they were in a hurry, at least the pot full of cooked food would have been taken, or emptied into something more portable to bring along! There was so much prepared food lying around. And the thread bobbins-- bobbins and bobbins of painstakingly-spliced flax they'd grown and rippled and scutched, some of it then painstakingly plied, hours and hours of several people's labor, and it was on little bobbins, you could sweep that into a basket along with your bulkier household goods and barely take up any space at all and save hundreds, maybe thousands of hours of labor later when you needed to weave some new fabric. Thread like that was precious, and it's portable, and I can't believe they'd choose to leave so much of it behind if they had any chance to choose what they brought with them.

As I'd said, it's beyond possibility that everyone had gone out to do some job-- there would be people left behind in the houses for that. Maybe everyone had gone out for some religious observation, maybe. Maybe something was important enough to even haul out the oldsters and the infants, and to put off dinner until late. Maybe. it's possible. But someone (probably in Structure 1) just didn't bank the fire correctly, and it got away and got into the roof beams. A properly-banked fire wouldn't do that, and surely these people, managing cooking fires for their entire lives, would know how to do it. But even then I can't imagine them going that far, and again, they'd see the smoke and hurry home. Even if it was a religious rite they'd still hurry home from it, there's no way they wouldn't have come back.

So it seems to me that they had to have been forced out. No notice, no chance to pack, everything left where it was, last night's supper still in the pot, tonight's bread still rising on the trays, the lambs in their pens and the dog tied up in House 5.

I can't imagine what forced them out. It wouldn't be weather. It could be enemies. There were no weapons found in the houses, but that might mean they'd taken them with them-- except the spears, perhaps they were only hunting spears but you'd think still if everyone ran out to fight they would take them too, the spears and the axes; if it was a situation where they had to last-ditch defend themselves the non-warriors would certainly arm themselves with the wood axes and the hunting spears. But they didn't.

So my conclusion is that they all were forced to leave in a hurry, without banking the fires, without putting anything away, and they were prevented from returning. The cause could be human enemies-- perhaps the warriors of the settlement had gone out to fight and been defeated, and the victors came here and the survivors knew they could not fight and so came out unresisting to meet their fates.

The cause could be something religious or spiritual-- something they believed in made them leave and prevented them from returning. It would have to be incredibly compelling, however, because leaving without their food or their cooking pots or their domestic goods (the little bobbins of thread!!!!! you could easily carry those!!) would make it very hard for them to make their way in the world.

The cause could be-- I really don't know what else. Disease would maybe make them abandon a settlement, maybe leave no trace if they buried their dead on land, but they would pack first. Most things, they would pack first, they wouldn't leave cooked food sitting out, they'd bring the lambs and dog with them. Any orderly evacuation, they'd have brought the lambs and dog with them. They have to have left in a hurry without a chance to prepare. And there was no attempt at salvage afterward, they didn't come back to look for anything they'd left. The ruins of the burned buildings would have stood visible for decades, the ends of roof timbers above the water, much of structure 4 (possibly the gate house entrance) above the water, the palisade probably unburnt for much of its length. It would have been easy to find. There are only a couple of disarranged timbers in Structure 3 to suggest anyone ever poked through the wreckage at all, and that's not much to go on. Certainly nobody dug around in the mud, which would have been quite shallow at some times of year.

And while it's possible the evidence of what happened existed once, somewhere in the long-vanished sections of the village-- perhaps the fire started at that end, perhaps they tried to fight it there, perhaps they tried salvage over there and discovered the fire had burned too hot to make it worthwhile, perhaps the bodies of the villagers were all dumped into the channel over there after whatever battle there was-- perhaps there was all kinds of stuff. But I just think whatever it was left no trace. So many of the possibilities would now be invisible, three thousand years later.

All we have is the facts: They left in a hurry, leaving their lambs in their pens, their food on the table, the dog tied up in the house, the cooking fires not banked.

And whatever made them leave, they never came back.

#must farm #bronze age #british history #archaeology #unknowables

[femmefatalevibe]

Femme Fatale Guide: How To Learn To Love Yourself & Heal From Toxic People

Allow yourself to feel all your emotions and thoughts, authentically and without self-criticism or judgment: Acknowledge that you're grieving. Accept that you need to mourn your loss. Even if it is better to move on in life without these people, it is healthy and completely valid to grieve the relationships you had with these people – regardless of whether they were one-sided, deluded, or otherwise toxic. Allow yourself to cry, be angry, lie in bed, etc. Hit a pillow, sleep in all day on a weekend, or wear a set of pajamas for a WFH day. Give yourself permission to engage in self-soothing behaviors without any type of self-harm or self-sabotage.

Rest, relax, and pamper yourself in your leisure time: Spend time taking it easy – reading, watching TV, doing a face mask or another indulgent skin treatment, using a body massager, cooking dinner in a silk robe and slippers, lighting a candle, cozying up in a blanket, etc. Allow yourself to feel at peace. Create a sanctuary in your space.

Take time for introspection and self-discovery: Being in any type of relationship with toxic people is draining and can cause you to feel as though you've lost a part of yourself by trying to make the relationship succeed. Now, it's time to reclaim yourself after you've courageously cut out these toxic people from your life. Consider and honor your deepest desires, values, interests, hobbies, lifestyle, goals, aesthetic, food, sexual, entertainment preferences, etc. Go on a self-discovery journey to figure out who you really are, what you believe, and who you will work to become as you enter this new, exciting chapter of your life.

Journal, read, eat healthily, work out, drink plenty of water, and sleep: Go back to the basic healthy habits. Try to journal for at least 5-10 minutes a day (using a 5-minute journal, morning pages [writing 3 pages of stream-of-conscious thoughts first thing in the morning], journal or shadow work prompts), make 2-3 whole food, plant-based meals with carbs, veggies, fruits, proteins, and healthy fats, find some ways to incorporate movement into your day – 30-minute walk or yoga session is enough if that's all you can manage consistently, have your body weight in ounces of water daily, and sleep for around 7-8 hours a night. Do some inner child healing by taking care of your core needs.

Indulge in all of your favorites: There's a lot of fun you can have when you have total freedom regarding your daily activities and choices. Give yourself permission to enjoy this solitude. Wear your favorite outfits every day (occasion-appropriate options, of course), including pajamas, loungewear, lingerie, and accessories. Make your favorite meals and snacks throughout the week (incorporating some healthy options in there to feel your best – I love a good oatmeal bowl, frozen grapes, baked Japanese sweet potato, or a hummus and vegetable plate). Watch your favorite TV shows or movies. Indulge in a glass of wine you love or reread a favorite book. Create a masterful playlist. Plan a day of your favorite activities (a long walk, getting a coffee, indulging in a spa day, going to a farmer's market, going to a yoga class, etc.) Treat yourself like your own best friend.

Get comfortable doing things alone: Honestly, no one cares or is paying attention to if you're doing activities alone or with someone else. If someone shows too much interest in your solitude, they're probably projecting their own insecurities regarding their perceived social ridicule. Take yourself shopping, to the nail salon, out for a meal, to the movies, etc. alone. Personally, I love doing most of these things alone anyways. Running errands alone gives you some space to clear your mind and think freely.

Define what an ideal social life and/or relationship looks like for you: Once you've become comfortable with yourself and living life on your own terms, it's time to embrace your desire for human connection and socialization. Consider the types of people you want in your life – their values, personalities, interests, goals, favorite activities, relational boundaries, etc., and where/when/how often you want to interact with them.

Create an action plan: Reconnect with the people in your life who continue to show up for you and have been a light through these toxic relationships and their lasting effects over the months or years. Decide on the places, groups, and ways you'll reach out/try to meet these people. Figure out how to expand your network, and make new connections. Don't be afraid to put yourself out there. You won't vibe with everyone you meet, but it is worthwhile to engage in small talk with several strangers if even one of these new faces, later on, becomes a good friend or acquaintance. A varied social circle is a great way to enrich your life.

Take small steps, then strides: Be gentle on yourself throughout this entire process. It is perfectly okay to take one day at a time during the grieving process. Everyone's healing journey will look different and evolve at a different pace. Don't let these toxic people remain in your heart, mind, and spirit. Remember that you deserve love, kindness, happiness, success, peace, and patience.

#self love #healing journey #self healing #personal growth #toxic parents #toxic relationship #toxic people #toxic ex #inner child #inner voice #self improvement #self care #femme fatale #dark feminine energy #dark femininity #glow up #it girl #female power #high value mindset #high value woman #female excellence #dream girl #the feminine urge #that girl #girl advice #girl blogging #life advice #life lessons #life path #level up journey

[acowardinmordor]

I needed to warm up, so I did not plan, just wrote this, and I'm about to hit post without editing or rereading. This is Steve&Eddie more than its a slash

----------

It was a week after the rumors made the rounds about Harrington and Hargrove getting into a fight. Eddie would normally assume it was nothing but posting jock bullshit, and ignore it the same way he ignored what he overheard about cheerleaders hooking up with other cheerleader's boyfriends. Except a couple days after the rumors hit a peak, Harrington showed up at school looking like someone beat his face in with a plate.

That made a pretty strong argument for the rumors being true.

The guy avoided his old crowd, and despite his ex and her new boyfriend - if that rumor is true, there was some overlap - trying to include him, he kept away from everyone for the first two days.

Eddie put him out of mind, one less asshole to cause trouble, one less shithead to dodge. Not his problem. Until he found Harrington sitting at his table in the woods the next week. It made sense, sort of. The guy was obviously having a shit time, and like most of the locals that kept Eddie's business afloat, he was looking for a distraction.

Eddie was right, and Harrington bought some weed before asking about getting anything stronger.

"I don't know man, I just wanna like, not be in my body for a while."

"Fair enough, but I don't keep that on me.

Harrington showed up when told to, and bought enough shit that Eddie hesitated before handing it over. He gave the guy a whole speech about not overdosing and ruining Eddie's upstanding reputation. Whether he listened or not wasn't something he could control.

So, the next Monday, when Harrington chased him down, and, as best as Eddie could tell, tried to become his friend, Eddie's first thought was that it was a ploy to get his next massive purchase of drugs on discount.

But Harrington didn't buy again except for a bit of weed. He did stick around. Outright said he wanted to be Eddie's friend. Kept at it through January until Eddie, confused as shit, admitted that yeah, they were friends. Mostly friends at least. There was stuff that Steve wouldn't talk about; his headaches, his nightmares, his tendency to freak the fuck out if the electricity got weird. Maybe it was better to say that Steve was his study partner who he sometimes hung out with. Cause that was the thing, Steve was pushy about Eddie studying.

"You really want to come back for a third run at graduating, man? Fuck that. 85 is gonna be your year, even if I have to bribe the teachers to pull it off"

"Why do you even care Steve? Maybe I want to become a legend of terrible scholarship in this crap town."

Steve never gave a real answer about it, just kept pushing him, hounding him about his homework, and showing up at his trailer every morning to drag Eddie out of bed if he had to. Wayne thought the whole thing was incredible and gave the guy a spare key. Traitor.

They got closer. Eddie finally met the kids Steve babysat. They immediately decided that Eddie was much cooler than Steve, and ragged on him constantly about it. They were close. They were. Fell asleep at each other's places. Spent half their time together.

Close, but not close enough for Eddie to get answers about why the fuck Steve had bruises and burns and scrapes sometimes. Bad ones. No matter how many times he said it, Steve didn't get those because he got distracted while cooking. It drove Eddie crazy sometimes. That was a lie. It drove him crazy all the time. Steve would tell him about how shit his parents were, but wouldn't admit why the fuck he needed stitches at the top of May.

"You did it."

"I think you'll find that you're the one that did it, Steve, I was an unwilling kidnapping victim in your quest to get us both across that stage."

It wasn't graceful, literally or figuratively, but Eddie got his diploma in 1985. Steve gave him what he said was a small part of his grad present from his parents. A thousand dollars. A thousand goddamn dollars. It was enough that Eddie didn't put the dots together right away. A small part, plus Steve's crappy job at the newly opened mall.

It was weird. But Eddie let it go, because Steve was his friend, maybe could have been best friends if the guy would stop pulling back whenever they got too close. He let it go, and he let Steve push him towards the goal of getting the fuck out of that town, and he promised he'd call when he got to Chicago.

It didn't really click for Eddie until he heard about the mall burning down from Wayne, that Steve never promised that he'd call too. The guy was there, and when Eddie called and demanded to know if he was okay, got another partial answer, another dodge, another thing for the list of shit his friend wouldn't talk about.

They fought about it. Loud enough as Eddie shouted into the phone that his neighbor banged on the wall. Maybe Eddie crossed a line. Maybe he crossed it a long while back. He didn't know. Eddie kept calling until September, but on the rare times that Steve answered, it was awkward and curt and terrible. He stopped trying when Wayne told him that Steve never stopped by, or even waved when they crossed paths.

Steve wanted it over, and it was so fucking weird. The guy slammed into Eddie's life out of nowhere, shifted it, changed the course, cause there was no way in hell Eddie would have graduated if it wasn't for Steve forcing him to try. The guy did all that, and nine months later, was gone again. Out of his life.

It was a week after new rumors reached him in February of 86 that a package arrived. His uncle called outside their normal plans, and said it wasn't sure yet, that there wasn't any proof, but Steve was missing, and some of those kids of his said he'd saved their lives. Said that he wasn't going to come back. Wayne didn't really understand what it meant, but passed on a message from those kids that they'd answer when he called.

Eddie got a box a week after finding out that Steve was gone, full of letters. Long, detailed, apologetic letters. The first was dated in December of 84, written after Steve spent a weekend 'out of his body' just like he wanted to be. The promises at the start didn't make sense. Steve said he'd save him. Steve said he'd make sure he got out. The apologies got more complex. Something about keeping Eddie away from friends he'd never make. About being selfish. About keeping secrets and lying when all he really wanted was to tell Eddie everything.

It was so fucking weird.

The last one was dated a couple days before things went bad in Hawkins, longer than all of the others. Monsters and nightmares and death and chance to make it right. Apologies for not doing it better, doing it sooner. For not wanting to risk it, for pushing Eddie away. Promises that Steve would call him as soon as it was over, that he was only writing this just in case. That it wouldn't ever be sent, and he'd burn the whole box after they won. Then he'd drive up and apologize in person, explain it in person, fix it, because Eddie meant more to him that Steve had ever let show, and he wanted to make it right.

At the bottom was a post script.

"Eds, If it doesn't work out, call this number, and ask for Robin. She knows the whole thing. She'll help. So will the kids. I hope you never read this. So I'm sorry if you are."

#my writing #steve and eddie #warmup writing #ficlet

[fumifooms]

Marchil crumbs part 7

Part 1 - Part 2 - part 3 - part 4 - part 5 - part 6

They made bonus illustrations for the Blu-ray. Idk what to make of this

Kui don’t do this to me…….. The placement <3

1) Trigger please elaborate. Speak on that. Huh. In the other Bluray illustrations with duos the characters aren’t blushing like this…?? This sure is a choice. Very normal. No tension in the air.

2) Those were assorted fullbodies she did for advertisements for a Dunmeshi cafe event in Shibuya, that she then put in the Complete Adventurer’s Bible… They line up so well that it looks like they’re interacting together it’s so cute.

Chilchuck having torrid tension with Marcille’s crepe Do you think Chilchuck was in Marcille’s shot behind/besides her food… Is he looking at her like that because he’s being sassy about having to wait on her, or is he using his watch as an excuse to steal glances at her… Did Marcille call out to him to be like "hey get in the shot!!" and get pics of their coffeeshop date out in town…

Cooking soap together for the fate of Senshi’s beard

I could have SWORN I’ve talked about this page below in the crumbs post before but apparently not. Ok so first of all this is peak them strategizing together. They seek each other out to plan out their next move- And this is soon after she did ancient magic! It’s after Chilchuck’s most important character moment, where he admits that he cares about the party and things aren’t purely professional, so that helps him move on from keeping her at arm’s length due to the very illegal scary thing she did I think, but besides that! This still shows a very strong bond of trust and respect between the two, that he values her input even still. Also supported in this chapter by how he felt the need to keep tabs on Laios and Senshi to not get them all killed but Marcille letting it slip about what she did or anything didn’t even enter his mind as I went over in part 2.

Okok but more in depth… I’m spoiling a future analysis of mine with this too but remember this panel? And who might be the personalization itself of projecting gentlemanly, heroic good will while having hidden/manipulative intentions? I’ve never known what to make of Kabru smiling at her and more importantly her blushing at him here… Until I realized that he really fits her ideal type from what we can extrapolate: He looks rather feminine and is seemingly very gallant/gentlemanly, very charismatic, and was raised by elves so has a grasp on etiquette. And yet, she only gives his smile a passing glance before going back to strategizing with Chilchuck— Because unlike what her reputation as someone frivolous who idealizes and romanticizes anything like in her storybooks, she can put rationality above aesthetics. Because she values Chilchuck and his input much more than she ever would a pretty face alone, the aesthetic of a prince charming. Because she knows he was right, at least partly, and knows where her actual allies lie. She doesn’t waver, and she chooses Chilchuck. A part of her arc is to judge by acts more than looks, and this is very much a part of it I think, Chilchuck cares and wants to help much more than someone who might look kinder or more welcoming.

Ehem sorry for going off Now that I reread the full scene this might be one of my fave marchil moments as weird as that might be… Chilchuck seeing her hesitance and explaining to her what’s going on without being prompted, sticking together out of everyone on the battlefield, them so easily slipping into strategizing with each other without the rest of the group. I never noticed the whole comedy of corpses falling around them and them keeping talking together lol.

Ok so merch wise they’re making hair clips! And there are 4 sets of two, it’s always Marcille with a different hairstyle and a different party member (for one of the four sets the other is a walking mushroom). Here’s the Marcille & Chil one! You can now have them in your hair yippee

I never put this one in a crumbs part but it’s funny so might as well, for as much as they care for each other and Marcille’s been shown to be very worried for & careful with Chilchuck the dainty rogue™️ the second he becomes a tallman without his cute face suddenly it’s FREE GAME. Their bestieship is so strong for them to be able to brush this incident right off and strategize like they’re close knit so soon after this lol.

Love a duo that will just trip onto their face in the same page. Cringefail.

Matching frog skin fits yayyyy!! <3 (Also stop making him look at her in ads I’ll die)

STOP ITTTTT

I had always assumed in the ‘feeding liver to Marcille’ part that Laios was always the one feeding her because the hands and speech bubbles aren’t clear in the manga scene, but the anime makes it clear that everyone does it after the other. So here’s Chil’s turn. Asking after if she liked it and encouraging to eat more is cute too. There’s also obviously how panicked he is to see her in danger earlier in the ep, but idk if I already showed that manga panel in an earlier comp

And woohoo the anime made this interaction between them even more sus!! Why. Why are you looking at each other like that. Stop people could misunderstand

Protecting her from the monster food

Thank you for the food episode 10. Made me notice a healing/caing moment I’d never paid attention to before!

"Huh your hands seem okay" ARE YOU SURE… They’re so cute when they team up together oml, hassling Senshi instead of each other lmaoo. Love how they made her look at him all happy

I wish I could put the screenshots for the whole sequence here but. How to hook and reel in your Chilchuck.

In chapter 97 cover they took the seats facing each other this time again <3 Like in the golden kingdom. It’s a recurring thing. Seemingly he’s looking at Falin so involved in the same conversation at her? :> Oh it’d be cute if he was the one who made her laugh sob, he looks like he just cracked a wise joke.

Today’s healing touch

Dude you are going to die let her go

They changed the gesture Marcille did to chide Chil here, instead of having her hand on his shoulder and tapping his head she gives him an elbow nudge. Idm the change this is so cute too. Also Chil extending her his sympathies

Not a crumb tbh but the way this was his POV during the Marcille vs Thistle fight is hilarious to me. No wonder he thought she was bonkers

Not the way these quote keychains are set up… Every protagonist has their own EXCEPT Chil’s who includes Marcille, and it’s one of my fav marchil moments I looove being validated that this scene is important

And to finish it up, the manga scene of this exchange in the anime that really stole my heart. They’re so fond of each other aw. Teasing on the job is free, her expression here is so cute, rare reversal of their roles in the dynamic

More crumbs soon! Not many in here yet (edit: at the time of first posting) but I was dying to post it with the modern cutouts art (I have so much fanart planned based on it hehe) but then the bluray illustration came out and fucking one hit KOd me. I am not that strong. I am only human.

They didn’t blush here in the manga guysss

#Dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon #marchil #shipping crumbs #Sometimes I feel so targeted. Trigger. Trigger what are you doing…. #Trampling down the hope bc they keep giving me delicious delicious crumbs #fumi rambles #In my heart the shibuya cafe art is more ship defining and valuable and cute but that bonus illu is like a slap to the face #Ended up putting both before the cut bc i cannot choose #marcille donato #chilchuck tims

[archangeldyke-all]

Oooh for Roach Verse, what about:

-Holiday funtime antics?

-Jinx has a school bully and those chuckleheads create the most over the top plots to help her out, lol

-Jinx brings home a stray

-The gang gives Roach the day off from cooking/ healing/general caretaking and it goes about as well as you'd imagine

-Jinx has a crush on some kid, and Silco/Sevika are not coping well

That's off the top of my head, I gotta go reread the Roach series now! lol

these are so fucking fantastic, i might revisit this a few times to do some of the other prompts too omg. but the one with jinx bringing home a stray??? chaos i love it.

men and minors dni

lock's been avoiding you all day.

it's strange. usually, you, lock and ran are like the three musketeers-- always getting into and back out of trouble together.

but today... lock's been avoiding you like the plague.

it's a little funny. the man's three hundred pounds of pure muscle, tattooed and pierced on nearly every inch of his skin, but each time he walks in a room with you there, he turns on his heel and runs away like a scared little girl.

mostly, though, you're just worried that you've pissed off your friend.

"he really hasn't said anything to you?" you ask ran. they're 'helping' you make sandwiches for lunch-- eating more than they are assembling, but still. you appreciate the company.

"nah, he's been jumpy around me too." they mumble around a mouthful of turkey. you cringe in disgust as you watch them squirt a dollop of mustard directly into their mouth, on top of the mush of turkey on their tongue. "don' worry. we'll get 'im drunk and interrogate him tonight." ran promises, patting your shoulder. you giggle, smacking your friend's hand away from the cold cuts.

twenty minutes later, you're making your rounds across the bar and delivering sandwiches to the crew.

singed and deckard barely notice you, both of them searching the lab for something when you drop off their sandwiches. singed shouts a distracted "thank you roach!" before the basement door slams behind you.

thieram's still asleep-- preparing to stay up all night tonight for work. you put his sandwich on his desk and gently nudge him. "'s almost two." you whisper. he grunts.

"thamk y' r'ch." he mumbles.

your next stop is silco's office, since lock is still hiding from you. you gently knock on the door. "lunch!" you call.

"come in!" silco shouts.

silco's laying back in his office chair, his feet propped up on his desk, a cigar between his lips as he scrubs at his temples. you raise an eyebrow at his haggard appearance, gently placing his sandwich beside the papers littering his desk.

"rough day?" you guess. silco groans. from the sound of his groan alone, you know he needs a bitch-session. you happily plop down on the couch next to his desk, tearing into your sandwich and nodding at silco. "spill. but make it quick, i still gotta feed the kid."

silco groans again at the mention of his foster daughter, and you burst into laughter. of course it's about jinx. silco's never this angsty about business. "she's been avoiding me all day." he sighs, dropping his hands to look at you. you furrow your brows.

"it's only one." you say. he huffs.

"she was acting cagey last night too. has she said anything to you?" he asks. you shake your head no.

you're usually the first person jinx goes to bitch about silco to. you or sevika. so the fact that you haven't heard anything only makes her behavior stranger. silco groans again.

"i don't even know what i did! we were perfectly fine at lunch yesterday, and now she won't even let me in her room!"

"she's probably just hormonal. puberty, silco, it's different for girls man." you try to explain. he just shakes his head.

"no it's not that."

you take another bite of your sandwich, gesturing at silco to do the same. he huffs and rolls his yes, but he at least takes a bite, so you're happy. "lock's been acting jumpy around me too. maybe it's just somethin' in the air." you suggest.

silco's eyes sharpen at your words. the second you hear yourself say it, you figure it out too.

"oh, shit." you mumble, jumping off the couch. "what did those shits get themselves into now?" you ask, scooping up the last few sandwiches you have left to deliver and running toward the office door. silco starts to chuckle behind you-- a defeated laugh, one that means he knows he's about to have an even bigger headache that he did when he just thought jinx was upset with him.

"don't let them drag you into it, roach. i need you as my informant." he begs. you laugh.

"i'll let you know what i find out." you call over your shoulder as you stumble into the hallway and slam silco's office door shut behind him.

you take off toward jinx's room, not bothering to knock, knowing it would only give them time to hide whatever shit they're up to.

you slam the door open, and your eyebrows fly up your forehead when not just jinx and lock; but jinx, lock and sevika all turn to look at you with big guilty eyes.

you groan. "what did you do?"

"now, hold on, why do you assume we--"

"babe, i promise i had nothing to do with it until just this morn--"

"i am so sorry roach, i told her not to--"

they all start to speak at the same time, flailing wildly as their voices overlap. and then, from a pile of blankets and plushies on jinx's bed, a raspy 'meow' floats above all the rambling voices.

they all cringe simultaneously, their heads snapping over to the bed. you burst into defeated laughter.

"a cat!?" you ask, walking over to the bed. jinx's eyes grow a little wider at the smile on your face, and she's the first to run up to your side. "oh, janna." you groan through your smile as you look down at the mangy thing. "fuck, jinx, it's probably getting fleas and lice all over your covers."

she blinks up at you with wide eyes. "but she's so cute, roach!" she squeals. you giggle at the girl, then look up at your friends.

lock's cooing down at the cat, gently patting its forehead as it purrs into his hand. sevika's watching it with a smile she's trying and failing to bite back.

"you're all suckers!" you cry. they both look up at you guiltily.

"jinx is gonna name 'er shitstorm." sevika supplies. you laugh despite yourself, reaching out to ruffle jinx's bangs. it's the perfect name for the poor little cat.

"where did you even find this thing?" you ask. jinx shrugs.

"i heard meowing in the lab last night. found her hiding in a corner, all scared and alone." jinx pouts, reaching down to pet the cat. it seems to know jinx is it's savior-- licking at her hand and closing its eyes as she pets it.

it occurs to you that this is probably what deckard and singed were looking for earlier. you have to bite back a laugh-- this cat is one lucky fucker, narrowly avoiding a brutal death of shimmer experimentation to become a little girl's fur-baby.

"roach..." jinx whispers. you look up from the little cat, rolling your eyes at the wet puppy eyes jinx is blinking at you. "please can we keep her?" she whines.

you huff, throw each of your friends their sandwich, then lean forward and pick the cat up, holding it to your chest. it's a docile little thing, cuddling against you the second you got it in your arms. jinx is wiggling with glee before you, already knowing what your answer's going to be. you flip her off, and she grins.

"fine." you grunt. jinx and lock burst into happy squeals, jumping up and down as they hold each other's hands. sevika's grinning behind the pair. "but you three gotta help me take care of this mess understand?" you ask. they all nod.

"whatever you need, roach." lock promises, grining. you giggle.

"okay. lock, take jinx's bedding out back and burn it-- it's easier than trying to wash out all the bugs and diseases." jinx pouts a bit at the thought of losing her star-themed sheets, and you nudge her with your foot. "you still got your dinosaur sheets in the closet. and i'll buy you a new set next time we're at the markets, okay?" you ask. she nods up at you. lock gets to work stripping her bed.

"jinx, go talk to silco. he thinks you're mad at him."

"you think he's gonna let me keep 'er?" she asks, worried. you snort.

"jinx, you could ask silco for the moon and he'd find a way to bring it to you." you say. jinx smiles shyly at this, and you ruffle her bangs again. "tell 'im i say that pets are good for kids' social development, or some bullshit like that. she'll be good for pest control in the bar. get him to take you shopping for some food and a litter box for little shitstorm, okay?" you ask.

jinx grins and nods up at you, wrapping your legs in a quick hug before taking off down the hall to talk to silco. you laugh as you watch her go.

sevika's the only one left, blinking at you guiltily from across jinx's room. you snort at the sight of her. "come help me clean this little shit." you mumble, nodding toward jinx's bathroom.

sevika follows with a smile.

"you're the sucker." she teases as you pass her the cat, plugging the sink and filling it with warm soapy water. you snort.

"you know she was supposed to be one of singed's test subjects?" you ask. sevika bursts into laughter, scratching the cat under her chin. she purrs so loud it's like a little motor. "i went down there today, he and deckard were tearing the lab apart looking for the cat." you laugh.

sevika snorts. "after her bath i'll go break the news to 'em."

down the hall, silco's shocked voice rings out. "a cat!?"

you and sevika burst into giggles.

you take the cat from her hands, firmly holding it as you start to scrub it's skin free of bugs. she yowls at the water, but settles down once you start to scrub her, seemingly liking her bath. sevika wraps an arm around your waist, kissing your head as you work.

"she is a cute little thing. makes me feel bad for all the creatures jinx didn't rescue from singed." you whisper. sevika chuckles.

"honestly, babe, we're just lucky singed hasn't started experimenting on humans yet." she jokes.

thumping footsteps come running toward jinx's room. you both look up in time to see ran round the corner, a manic grin on their face. "a cat!" they squeal, pushing into the bathroom to coo down at the sweet little thing. "awe, hello sweet girl!" they cry, taking the cat out of your hands and into their arms.

you giggle at sevika's shocked expression-- ran's just a ball of sunshine under their bangs and eyeliner-- and pass ran a clean towel to wrap the cat in.

"you got it from here?" you ask your friend, trusting that they know how to care for the creature better than you. they grin, pressing kisses to the wet cat's head.

"jinx already named me godparent. suck it, bitches." ran says, sticking their tongue out at you and sevika, hugging the cat closer to their chest.

sevika snorts and you roll your eyes fondly.

taglist!

@fyeahnix @sapphicsgirl @half-of-a-gay @thesevi0lentdelights @sexysapphicshopowner @shimtarofstupidity @chuucanchuucan @badbye666 @femme-historian @lia-winther @gr0ssz0mbi3 @ellsss @sevikaspillowprincess @leomatsuzaki @emiliabby @sevikasbeloved @hellorai @vikasub @glass-apothecary @m0numents @macaroni676 @vixel352 @artinvain

#sevika #sevika imagine #sevika arcane #sevika x reader #sevika x you #soft sevika #ran arcane

[2amtechnicolor]

We Need To Talk About Mahiru

Mahiru's second Trial is out and oh my god she just jumped up on my faves list. I love analyzing the MVs from different perspectives so I thought I'd give my 2 cents on Mahiru's character.

My vote: INNOCENT

The first thing I really feel the need to bring up is that people tend to ignore that Mahiru is actually very intelligent. There's multiple kinds of intelligence, and while she might not be "traditionally" smart in the linguistic sense, she's incredibly emotionally intelligent. She's a master of empathy and mood making and is an incredibly charming talker to the point you don't realize she's completely controlling the conversation. That being said, I genuinely don't think she uses her intelligence for malicious gains.

One of the theories going around with her first MV was that she was overbearing to the point of being abusive, while being oblivious to her own toxicity. Now after rereading and rewatching, I'm inclined to disagree. Her love may be seen as overbearing to some but we have not seen any explicit bad behavior towards her boyfriend. (Contrast with someone like Muu, who was revealed to have bullied as much as she was bullied herself). In my unpopular opinion, I genuinely think Mahiru was in a "healthy" relationship, at least on the surface.

[TW for discussions of death, murder, and fictional depictions of suicide]

[Side Note: One of the sticking points people have while saying "Mahiru was toxic" is that "Mahiru's relationship only lasted 16 days" which is blatantly not true when you check the translations for MV1. Day 1 takes place during college finals (mid-March-ish in JPN), Day 7 explicitly takes place in the summer, and Day 15 is New Year's Day (January). Mahiru's affection towards her boyfriend lasted almost a year, and they dated for around 6 months-ish during that. The "16 Day Memorial" isn't about a period of 16 days, it's about 16 days over the course of their relationship where she was explicitly making moves towards her boyfriend.]

I need you to take a real hard look at how Mahiru talks about "love" and "being in love." More specifically, when she talks about the concept of "love," she often brings up the action of "loving/showing love" in her explanation. Never once have I heard her say "My boyfriend loved me." or "This is what my boyfriend did for me." The focus is all on her actions towards the boyfriend. And I genuinely think she was a sweet girlfriend! She loved trying his hobbies and cooking his favorite foods and going to his favorite spots. She was sweet, and kind, and playful, and maybe just a bit clingy. But she was never jealous or possessive.

Es: I see. So, you became a murderer as a result of some relationship conflicts? Jealousy… Grudges… Having your partner stolen from you… Those stories aren’t all that uncommon now are they?

Mahiru: You’re wrong. It wasn’t that. I…never even wanted to kill anyone in the first place!

She explicitly states that her crime was not based off of negative feelings towards her boyfriend, but she still takes responsibility for what happened. Compare that to Fuuta, who, despite his own feelings of guilt, continually verbally denied that he had anything to do with his victim's death. Mahiru not only takes explicit responsibility, but also pins her "love" as his cause of death, to the point where if she was voted guilty, she would never try to love anyone again. Without "loving" anyone, she has no reason to live.

"To not forgive me means to take the act of loving away from me. That’s the same as not being alive. It’s the same as not being able to drink water or breathe."

It's interesting the way she compares basic needs to "the act of loving". Not the concept of "love" itself, but the act of showing someone love. If she is not allowed to show someone love, to her it's like suffocating, like dying of thirst, or maybe...dying of starvation?

Mahiru in her second MV may be dirty and barefoot with torn clothes, but the one thing she is not is starving. You could argue that "perhaps it doesn't show," but when compared to her boyfriend...

She's incredibly healthy.

And of course she's healthy! Her lovely boyfriend's been feeding her those bites of cake! So is the cake "love" then? But if the cake is love, why is her boyfriend, the one whose being "smothered," the one starving?

Feeding the cake doesn't represent "love." Feeding the cake also doesn't represent "the act of loving." Feeding the cake represents the boyfriend letting Mahiru "love" him. Does that make sense?

The boyfriend lets himself be vulnerable, he feeds pieces of himself to Mahiru for her to "love." But yet, he himself is starving.

...Have you even noticed Mahiru hates talking about herself?

It's evident from her first interrogation. Es can barely get two words in before Mahiru interrupts them to ask them questions about themselves or to offer her own advice to problems she thinks Es may be having.

Es: Oh… yeah. Uh… I apologise for that.

Mahiru: Did you zone out just then? This job must be pretty difficult, so you might be mentally burned out from work. Herbal tea’s good for that, you know? Oh! Like ginkgo tea—they say it helps improve brain function.

Es: Oh, is that so? I’ll try a bit then… I mean, no! Enough about me.

Compared to one of the few times Es gets a question in:

Es: I don’t completely understand what you’re saying, but… Being in love and loving someone—are they really that important?

Mahiru: They are.

Es: Hm.

Mahiru: They are… More so than anything else.

When reflected back to her, her answered become short and vague. Her voice grows soft and shy. She avoids questions, especially questions about difficult topics, not because she doesn't understand the gravity of them (like Haruka) but because she does. Like I said at the top, she's incredibly emotionally intelligent. She was beaten nearly to death because Kotoko decided to be Es's "fang", and yet she still empathizes with them. She still makes a strong attempt to see their point of view, and even to encourage Es to keep working hard. Compared to the other attacked prisoner we've seen, Fuuta, who blames and grovels for forgiveness, these responses are like night and day.

But what do we know about Mahiru, really?

She's 22

She's a university student

She likes romantic novels, comic, and dramas

She loves love. [But she's not obsessed with being loved. Haruka is obsessed with being loved, Haruka wants to be loved and taken care of, Haruka killed out of jealousy and for attention because he didn't feel loved enough. We never get that from Mahiru.]

Everything else we know about Mahiru? Is for other people.

Her favorite hobbies? Whatever her partner is doing.

Her fashion sense? Whatever will catch her partner's eye.

Her favorite food? Well, as long her partner cooks it, anything's her favorite!

The only time we ever get a sense of her and her boyfriend possibly disagreeing on something is Day 14 in MV1. Mahiru wants to see a French film and begs her boyfriend to take her. This is odd, because just a few scenes ago, she was bragging about how their tastes in films perfectly line up. If their tastes are the same, why would she have to beg him to take her to see this one?

Mahiru, like Yuno, is hiding behind a facade. But unlike Yuno, Mahiru doesn't have a strong core underneath her mirroring. Yuno can drop her "nice girl" act and she still has strong opinions and feelings and acts accordingly. Mahiru, when you try to go behind her mask, clams up, redirects, searches for a way out.

So. Back to cake.

The boyfriend feeds pieces of himself to Mahiru. He makes himself vulnerable, he lets her in, lets her care for him, lets her "love" him.

But Mahiru? She never feeds him until the very end, and even then, her "cake" isn't anything edible.

She's not stupid. She knows she can't give him what he really wants: any sort of vulnerability.

Their relationship is one-sided, but not because Mahiru is toxic or the boyfriend is apathetic. Their relationship is one sided because that's how Mahiru wants it to be. She wants to be the perfect girlfriend, because, if we're being honest, Mahiru doesn't like herself very much.

Why else would she hate talking about herself? She clearly loves to chat.

She puts her all into everything...as long as it's for someone besides her.

She will outright ignore her own pain and suffering, her own emotions, because she doesn't want to make anyone else upset.

Mahiru: Sorry… for making you worry. I’m fine! It doesn’t hurt at all.

Es: It’s a horrible injury. There’s no way it doesn’t hurt.

Mahiru: It doesn’t!

So why did her boyfriend die?

Mahiru's very good at hiding her emotions. If she slipped up and her boyfriend realized and noticed how she refused to love herself, it could cause friction in their otherwise perfect relationship.

Maybe Mahiru was the one who wanted to die in the woods, and her boyfriend, starved for any sort of real connection to her, found her at the last moment? Maybe her mental health dragged his down with her.

Mahiru's incredibly complex and tragic and endlessly relatable. She only loves too much because she can't love herself. If she's truly unforgivable, and she keeps her promise to stay alone...what's stopping her from killing the only thing she hates most?

#milgram #mahiru shiina #this is how to be in love with you #character analysis #i love you #daisuki #meta #deco*27 #milgram project #mahiru innocent #i log into the milgram fandom #i post a 1.5k word essay #i leave for another 5 months #lux talks

[rarepears]

Ok I was rereading your "Break news: Westeros lord marries a stranger?" Fic and I am almost sure Jinwoo would be the kind of parent that would gift those super expensive security stuff (like those necklaces that point to your ubi and stuff like that

But of course he can just teleport himself to the child and they have the shadows to protect them

But I just imagine him looking through the system's shop and seeing these jewelry that looks beautiful, maybe has a leon charm or a sword that looks like one of Jaime's drawings and he goes: why not?

So he buys some, cause the children are the kind of using different accessories for the week and he just thought that those earrings were very pretty and that bracelet wouldn't interfere with sword practice

And look! That ring would look really pretty on Tywin (cues their drama cause one of Jinwoo's books told about this tradition) and why not? :D this isn't the first gift he gave to him

So yeah, in my mind Jinwoo is the parent that buys his family everything they want and doesn't see a problem, they work very hard and deserve a reward and he likes to spoil them

Firstly, what is "ubi"? Because I'm thinking "universal basic income" and that's not what you're referring to. If you were thinking more along the lines of "gps", that wouldn't be possible since GPS requires satellites to circle the planet that Westeros is located and the GPS chip uses said satellites (on a very precise orbit) to decode and compute the precise location of said chip. Unless Jinwoo starts importing satellites to float around Westeros...

Something that I was consciously writing into this fic was Jinwoo and Jinah's kind of over the top gifting/shopping. They went from buying only the bare necessities (and some times not even that) to now having more money than they could ever spend. This sudden swing in financial purchasing power is making them go a little crazy like how Jinah is buying waaaaay too many clothes for Jinwoo to wear and paying a lot of attention to Jinwoo's PR. At least Jinah has a bit of Sudden Wealth Syndrome - a bit of an identity crisis because she can suddenly afford to spend money on her hobbies and other wants, fear that Jinwoo needs a backup plan in case he gets too injured to keep clearing gates, and also not quite knowing who she is going to be as a person (because she is just a teenager).

Then there's Jinwoo's mom who doesn't quite know if it's her place to say anything about the siblings' shopping spree. These kids are so incredibly independent from what she remembered before her coma; do they really need her, a parent, around? And it's not like they can't afford to spend with Jinwoo's current income. Their mom doesn't really know her place in the family dynamic now, so she's kind of backed off and is quietly looking on. She's not spending money if she can't because it's not her money; but she's also not sure what she could or should be doing, so she does things like make a cloak for a lion, cook meals for what she thinks are Jinwoo's friends, and try to make herself useful and not appear overbearing to her suddenly-so-mature-and-independent-children.

And then there's Jinwoo who is just a hoarder and now finally has the means to spoil all his loved ones because he feels very guilty that he couldn't give Jinah a proper childhood while their mom was in a coma. Jinah missed out a lot, he thinks, because of his inability to provide.

So yes, here's a mini character analysis about the Sung family's relationship with money and gifts.

#tywin lannister x sung jinwoo #sung jinwoo #solo leveling #solo leveling ideas #tywin lannister #game of thrones #a song of ice and fire

[widowwaddles]

Don’t Go Baking My Heart - Part 3

Summary:  After a breakup, you decide to pack up your life and move to Westview. A  coworker recommends you join the local community's cooking class in  order to settle into the new town. It sounded like a great idea, you could learn a new skill (that you desperately need) and meet new people. However, nothing could have prepared you for the green-eyed beauty you  met during class. Maybe you'll end up leaving the class with more than  just a basic understanding of cooking.

Taglist:  @xxxtwilightaxelxxx​

Word count: ~4.1k

Masterlist

Part 4

--

How to Know You’ve Found the One

Waking up the next morning, you couldn’t help but reread the text on your phone with a smile. You haven’t been this happy in the morning in a while, and you knew it could only mean one thing - but you weren’t ready to admit it yet. It was no secret that you had the tendency to fall hard and fast. You were a hopeless romantic and led with your heart. Many people said they’d admire that trait about you and gushed how more people should be this way - before later going on to break yours. You’ve dealt with a lot of heartbreak, with your last relationship being the last straw. There were things you knew that you needed to work on - boundaries you needed to set within yourself - to ensure that your future relationships wouldn’t end like the last.

So you wrote it all in a letter. Detailing your hopes and dreams for the future, but most importantly being brutally honest about the patterns you tend to follow when falling for someone, despite wanting to break out of it. No matter how much you liked Wanda you didn’t want to fall into old habits. Not that anything would be happening anytime soon between you two - based on last night, Wanda is going through a lot more than she’s letting on. It was way too early to even think about getting into a relationship right now - considering you just met - but you couldn’t help but feel your heart race at the thought.  

Dear Y/n, 

If you’re reading this then you’ve found yourself with a bit of a crush. Who am I kidding, you must be really down bad if you’re reading this now. There’s no need to panic, who better to help you navigate during this challenging time than you from the past. I’ll make this nice and easy, but the first step is to breathe. You don’t have to fight it, It’s okay to enjoy this feeling - the rush. Just don’t let it consume you. You don’t always have to be the one to initiate things. Allow yourself to take the backseat this time and let them set the pace.  

Deciding to live by your words, you prepared for your day. You could do this, and maybe this was the best thing for your situation. You would be a fool to deny the connection you had made yesterday, but you could tell that Wanda was clearly going through something right now. You didn’t want to push her into anything she wasn’t ready for or worse, do something that causes her to push you away. You were willing to let her set the pace, and if friendship was what she needed now, then you’ll do just that. Sending Wanda a simple good morning text, you set off for work and for the first time since moving to Westview, you felt excited for the day ahead.

 ___

To say that Yelena was surprised to see your smiling face as you walked into work today would be an understatement.  Usually, it would take you at least two coffees and a meal to draw a genuine smile from your face during the workday.

“Someone looks happy, would you like to share with the class?” Yelena looks intrigued as to what has you in such a good mood today.

You try to hide your smile as you look away. You contemplated revealing everything that happened after class yesterday. You would love to have someone to confide in but you had to stop yourself. It was too early to say anything now and considering the circumstances you felt like you’d be breaking Wanda’s trust by discussing the more intimate details (aka Wanda breaking down). It definitely wouldn’t be a good start to a friendship, and if you planned on getting closer you’d need Wanda to have faith that you wouldn’t go gossiping about her private life (even if it is with your best friend).

“Can’t I just be happy to see my best friend today?” you say hoping she buys it. Who's to say you weren’t happy to see Yelena today?

“If this is your attempt at trying to suck up to me after yesterday, then you seriously need better material” she looks at you skeptically, clearly not buying it. “Plus, I forgave you after you gave me our precious creation, it was delicious”

“Actually, I don’t remember there ever being any sort of discussion regarding the pot pie. Just you saying goodbye before quickly running out of the building carrying a suspicious container” you recount your last memories of seeing Yelena. “But if it went to a good cause, who am I to question anything. I’m just happy it’s allowed you to spice up your usual diet”.

“Hey, don’t try to change the subject. What’s up with you today?” Yelena rolls her eyes not liking your last comment or your attempts to dodge her questions.

“It’s seriously nothing” you reply, not wanting to admit the truth of what has you feeling good today. “Can’t I have some mystery to my life?”.

“No”  Yelena looks at you like you’ve grown another head. “It’s a girl, isn’t it?” she asks bluntly.

Your eyes widen and a light blush dusts your cheeks. It’s embarrassing how well she knows you.  

“Really? I’m happy for you Y/n, she must really be special if she has you like this” Yelena was genuinely happy for you, knowing how hard it’s been for you to make any sort of connection since you’ve been here. “So, tell me about her”

And here comes the hard part. You needed to go about this smartly, Yelena must not - under any circumstances - know the identity of the woman who’s stolen your heart. You needed to be cool and nonchalant about this.

“She’s perfect” you immediately gush. “I’ve never had this feeling before about anyone this quickly, I mean I barely know her. I don’t think anything is going to be happening between us anytime soon though so you cannot say anything.” you ramble. Definitely, way too much information that you planned on divulging to her.

“Don’t worry I won’t. But if you’re saying this then it must be someone I know” she’s piecing this together much faster than you hoped. “Hmmm…Do you want to tell me or should I try to guess who it is?” she has her hand on her chin as if a detective on their latest case.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea” you start but she’s showing no signs of stopping. Shifting your eyes nervously, you look at your cup of coffee and  blurt the first name that comes to mind

“Sharon”

“Huh, as in the barista?” she never would have guessed that you would be into Sharon Carter, based on how shallow your conversations have been so far. When did you even get her number, you literally only talk about coffee when you’re in the coffee shop she works at. “I was gonna say, Wanda, I mean you could practically smell the tension between you,” she admits, starting to feel less confident about her answer after your revelation. How could she have missed this supposed connection you had with Sharon?

“Pshhh, you must be seeing things,” you say as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “I don’t even think Wanda likes me that way anyways,” you say sadly, staring blankly at your computer.

“Sure whatever you say Y/n, but you’re an idiot if you don’t see the way Wanda looks at you” she doesn’t say anything further, and you were thankful for that. You began to dwell on her words - it couldn’t possibly be true. You didn’t know why you were psyching yourself out, I mean, this is the best possible scenario. Yet, something inside is preventing you from fully believing it - a part of you that knows that once you get your hopes up it would only end in disappointment.

I know it may make you feel anxious or insecure, causing you to question whether the connection you felt was real (and reciprocated). And, I’m not gonna lie it’s gonna be difficult, giving up some control of the situation and letting the fates decide, but I promise you it’s worth it. Let them prove to you that they can make an effort. You need to recognize that the progression of a relationship isn’t dependent on one person. And when the time finally comes, and you receive that one sign that confirms the feelings between you is mutual, it’s the best feeling in the world.  

  Wanda  :

Hey, sorry I’ve been pretty busy today. Will you be free this Friday to meet up? I want to see you again.  

—  

It’s been three days since you received Wanda’s text and now it was finally the day you’ve been waiting for, Friday. Sitting in the coffee shop, you’re nervously awaiting Wanda’s arrival. You may or may not have come 30 minutes earlier than the agreed-upon time. You take a deep breath and try to remind yourself to stay calm. I mean it was only your first time hanging out with Wanda outside of class. You simply needed to look at this situation as two friends hanging out and not a date.

It was about another 15 minutes before you saw a brunette walk through the door. She anxiously looked around the shop, trying to find an empty seat before making eye contact with you. She seems surprised to see you before relief floods her face. She immediately walks over to you, with a smile.

It’s too early to decide anything yet, but take notice of everything. Are they always late when you arrange to spend time together? When they first see you, is this their first instinct to smile or grimace? Consider this moment, the official first impression - it will be the deciding factor in if this moves forward.  

“Hey, I wasn’t expecting to see you here so early” she greets you nervously. “I hope you weren’t waiting too long”.  

“Hey Wanda, you didn’t I just got here a minute ago, don’t worry” you greet her, the small lie slipping past your lips with confidence. She looks at the table, noticing you’ve already ordered a medium coffee and two bagels.

“And you just so happened to order all of that and it arrived half-eaten?” she asks knowingly, having to suppress her giggle. “The service here must really suck”.

“It’s not too bad” you scratch your neck, knowing you’ve been caught. “I would love to buy you something though, from the uneaten side of the menu” you rush out, desperately wanting to change the subject.

“Smooth” she teases. “I’ll take a Jasmine tea and a muffin”

 You quickly stand up from your seat and go to the cashier to order. You even surprised Wanda with how quick you were but the look was quickly replaced with an endearing smile as she watched you stumble to the front.

“I want a Jasmine tea and a muffin” you order.

“Wow, Y/n. Did you finish the coffee and bagels already?” the blonde barista jokes.

“Haha, very funny Sharon, but I’ll have you know that this isn’t for me” you reply. You and Yelena are regulars at this coffee shop, so it’d only make sense that you were friendly with Sharon and the other baristas here.

Sharon looks back to where you were seated and notices the pretty brunette waiting at the table.

“Ahhh, I see. Well, in that case, I’ll make it on the house” she says kindly.

As she prepares your order you continue to make casual conversation with Sharon, with her trying to get as many details about your little date. Wanda watches this interaction from afar and has to suppress the little green monster threatening to come out. She doesn’t understand why watching you speak to the blonde barista makes her feel so jealous, considering you were only friends (for now). She has to hide her glare, when you turn back around, giving her a bright smile and holding up 2 fingers - indicating her order should be ready soon.

“Here you go” Sharon says as she hands you the tea.

“Thanks Sharon, I owe you one”

“No worries but hey” she says with a concerned look. “Have you noticed that Yelena’s been acting weird?”

You instantly knew what she was referring to. You and Yelena are regulars at this coffee shop, so it’d only make sense that you were friendly with Sharon and the other baristas here. Ever since revealing to Yelena that you liked Sharon (romantically) she’s elected herself as your wingman and has been trying to leave hints to the barista that you wanted something more. It’s been very embarrassing but Sharon didn’t seem very perceptive to it until Yelena flat-out asked if she found you attractive. Thankfully, she was a good sport about it and brushed it off. You hoped that she would have just forgotten about it, but appears she has not. Now you were put in the awkward position of explaining it to her, which required a delicate hand. You look at Sharon kindly.  

“You know how she is” you left it as that before rushing back to your table. You seriously needed to have a conversation with Yelena about being subtle. You could only imagine how much worse it would be if she finds out that Wanda is the one you actually liked ( *cough cough* read the Valentine's Day Special).

You set her order on the table and Wanda looks at you thankfully, as she begins to eat. The conversation flows between you two, and it feels refreshing. You both couldn’t hide your smiles as you finished your outing.

Walking out of the coffee shop together, you noticed that Wanda’s car wasn’t in the parking lot. Wanda walks with you to your car, brushing against you with each step. When you reach the door you turn back to Wanda.

“I enjoyed this, spending time with you today” Wanda fiddled with her hands nervously. “I don’t want it to end”, she finishes glumly.

“Well it doesn’t have to” you have a hopeful look you weren’t ready to say goodbye either. “I’m still not familiar with the area -unless for food- so would you maybe…want to come to my place? We could watch a movie and cook dinner together, I’m still not too confident with my skills in the kitchen” and now you’re rambling. She looks at you inquisitively. “Feel free to say no, I don’t want to pressure you” you rush out, beginning to regret your invitation.

“You’re seriously asking your cooking instructor to come cook for you” she teases. “Wow Y/n, I’ve never had one of my students propose such a thing. Are my classes not enough?”

“Well what can I say, I’m in desperate need of private lessons. I learn better one-on-one” you flirtatiously joked. Her cheeks went red instantly, and you couldn’t hide your laugh.

“I’d love to,” she says warmly. “Plus from what Yelena’s told me, you’d probably starve tonight if I didn’t come”

“Hey, she’s much worse than me. I at least have a variation to my diet” you defend yourself. You couldn’t believe that Yelena had the audacity to complain to Wanda about your eating habits.

“You both could use the help,” she says attempting to stay neutral. You give her a knowing look, but she avoids your eyes. “Shall we get going?”

Walking over to the passenger door of your car, you open the door for her.

“After you milady,” you say charmingly. She gets in shyly, before flashing you a small smile. You close the door and walk back to your side. This is a good day.

 —

When you arrive at your apartment, you lead Wanda to your door. Nervousness filled your body, this was the first time you’d invited someone over -not even Yelena has seen your apartment yet.

“I just want to warn you before you go in” you begin to unlock your door. “Lower all of your expectations. I’m still in the process of decorating so” you open the door, allowing her to go through first.

“Wow” she walks at everything your living room has to offer. A couch and tv, nothing else. “It looks great”. She eyes your kitchen before looking at you for permission. You walked with her to the kitchen, knowing she was not gonna be too happy with what she finds.

“Your counters look a bit bare, but I guess that makes sense if you barely cook” she analyzes before opening your refrigerator. “It’s completely empty!” quickly closing the door, and opening your cabinets. “WHY DO YOU HAVE NOTHING IN HERE?” she glares at you.

“I just haven’t gotten around to it yet” holding your hands up in defense, you know it’s a weak response.

“You’ve been here for more than a month, how much more time do you need?” she gawks, she couldn’t believe this was real.

“You-you’re not allowed to look so surprised, I joined your class for a reason. What happened to your optimistic ‘anyone can cook’ attitude?”.

“Most people come to learn a new recipe or two. You need an intervention” she says bluntly. “I’m depressed just being in here. I don’t even know how you’ve survived this long” she looks so disappointed when she gets closer to you, offering a gentle hug and rubbing your back. You enjoy it until you begin to feel her grip tighten. Uh oh. She must have seen it.

Pushing you away, Wanda walks to your trash can and points at the numerous takeout bags - from the last 3 days - piling up to the top.

“Really?”

“I thought you’d be happier to see that I’m eating well” you joke, but Wanda doesn’t seem to find it very funny.

“We’re going to the grocery store now. Let’s go” she orders, leaving no room for any further discussion on the matter. Part of you was surprised by her tone, but a (much) larger part was kinda into it. She looks hot when she’s angry and in charge. “Now” she’s looking at you impatiently, not wanting to leave the lady waiting - you scramble to get your keys and follow her out the door.

 —

The next thing to ask yourself is: How do they make you feel? And you have to be honest, don’t let the butterflies influence your answer. Can you truly be yourself around them, or do you feel like you have to play a role in order to get their acceptance? You need to know the difference, as this has led to the downfall of all of your relationships. You need to start living for yourself - as your authentic self - even in your relationships. Don’t change yourself, if they are truly worth it then they’d accept you, flaws and all.  

You’ve never been one to like going to the grocery store. For one, you did not know how to buy food, like a responsible adult that is taking care of their body, or whatever Wanda called it. In your defense, your taste in food hasn’t changed much since getting older, so you bought things when you were a kid. Which was why your cart filled up with more snacks than actual food you had to cook. Wanda changed that quickly, getting a cart of her own and filling it with healthier options. You had honestly thought she was shopping for herself until you got to the checkout and she asked you to watch her cart while she went to grab something. She took your cart and never came back.

Leaving the grocery store, you actually felt happy. You were not looking forward to putting the groceries up but you’ve never had so much fun in the store. Usually, you’re being dragged around the store, not having much of a say over what’s being bought besides the occasional and reluctant ‘fine but only one’. Wanda never made you feel bad about yourself and when you saw her exiting the store with a small bag of your favorite snacks understood she wasn’t trying to completely bulldoze your life. You’ve never had someone care this much about what you were putting into your body, while also taking consideration into what you liked. Her plan wasn’t to completely change but just to make sure you’d live longer with a more (age) appropriate diet. Maybe if you could watch Wanda talk animatedly about the importance of organic fruits and vegetables in your diet, you’d always enjoy your time in the grocery store. You’ll definitely have to ask her to come with you next time, though you know she’d probably volunteer.

Arriving back home, Wanda arranged your new groceries into your fridge and cabinets. She had a satisfied look on her face as she looked at her work. She was almost satisfied enough to leave. Keyword almost - she didn’t have much faith that you would just order takeout again instead of cooking the food you just bought. She helped you prepare a simple meal and you enjoyed it while watching Friends in your living room. You learned Wanda was more of a sitcom person, preferring shows from the 50s-60s. When you revealed that you’ve never seen sitcoms from this era she almost took your remote to start an episode, but you came up with a compromise by designating a night where you would replicate the events of today but instead end with a huge binge of these shows.

 —

Your day with Wanda has officially come to an end, much faster than any of you hoped. As you pull up to Wanda’s house, you see her car in the driveway. Wanting to make sure she made it inside safely, you walk her to the door. The walk is silent with a light tension growing between you as you stand there just looking at each other. You want to make a move, but you still weren’t completely confident that Wanda would want that.

“We should do this again” You give her a small smile.

“Yeah we should,” she confirms. “I might need to make weekly visits to make sure you’re eating well” she ends teasingly.

“Well, I’ll hold you to it then,” you say before turning around. “I’ll see you soon Wanda”

“Please” Her hand grabs yours, preventing you from going any further. “Don’t go yet” her voice sounds so weak.

Pulling you back towards her, you see the hesitance in her eyes. Concerned, you move closer to her and squeeze her hand - that was still holding onto your tightly - in reassurance. She really doesn’t want you to leave yet. In a leap of courage, she leans forward first, and you follow suit. Your lips connect in a soft, yet passionate kiss, even you began to feel overwhelmed with emotion for some reason and she pulled away - you understood why.

“I want this, but I don’t know if I deserve to have it” she ends with a whisper, you could barely hear what she said. Tears started to escape her eyes, but before you could ask what was going on.

BEEP

Suddenly the sound of a car horn makes you jump apart. You hadn’t even noticed the other car pulling into the driveway.

“Mom!” a tiny voice screams from inside the car.

“Dad brought us to get ice cream, look how many scoops mine has, '' another voice says, as the car door opens.

Two young boys run towards Wanda, eager to tell her about their latest adventure to the ice cream shop. They didn’t even notice you standing there until they felt their mother stiffen, as they hugged her legs. Looking at you with innocent, yet questioning eyes, they pull away from Wanda and stand in front of you. Wanda uses this time to quickly wipe her face.

“Who’s this mom?”

“This is my new friend -”

“Y/n, and I was just leaving. I hope you enjoy your ice cream boys” you cut her off not wanting to stand there any longer, you rush back to the car - mumbling a quick goodbye. As you walked back, you saw a tall figure exit from the car and walk up to Wanda and the children. He ruffles their hair, noticing they were still watching you as you sat in your car.  Gathering their attention, he stares at them as he opens the front door.

“Okay kiddos, back inside we go. And let’s avoid making a mess this time” he says the last part firmly. You’re too distracted with your own internal meltdown to notice that the man completely ignores Wanda as he walks into the house. She looks so broken.

Deciding you’ve outstayed your welcome, you drive back home trying (and failing) to keep the tears at bay.

And if you listened to everything I’ve said so far, and they’re still here then you probably met a keeper, don’t ever let them go. For the first time ever you know your heart will be safe with someone and you’ll take security in knowing that they wouldn’t break it. Enjoy this feeling. 

Ouch.

#wanda maximoff x reader #wanda x reader #wanda x y/n #dontgobakingmyheart

[thinkin-bout-milgram]

Triage: Initial Thoughts

Hello! Venus back at it again with the 4-5 AM theory time! This time we’re looking at Shidou’s second MV, Triage! 

I’m going to be going through my various thoughts on everything as usual, going point by point to analyze each thing. I’ll be referencing Triage, his first MV Throwdown, and the always-fast audio drama translation by @onigiriico​! 

Alright, let’s do this!

Shidou’s kids died immediately, but his wife had a chance to live.

I’m basically just going to give a quick play by play of what I think happened in the video.

Surprise, Shidou has kids! And a wife, but we figured that already. They’re all very cute and all until they fade out like ghosts pretty early on. Before that happens, though, I think that, chronologically, the opening sequence of Shidou walking with some groceries happens first.

He’s just going about his day, walking around, having a great time. He’s intending to take stuff back to his family and cook dinner or whatever he usually does that we see in the cute scenes.

Then, though, he gets a phone call. He answers it (this is the untranslated “Kirisaki desu” part; please let us know if you find a full translation of what he says on the call there!) and we move on to the next scene. However, later, at 1:57, we hear the line die. I think that this is probably Shidou getting a phone call from the hospital. He sounds casual in his initial response because he probably assumes it’s work related, but once he hears what happened, he drops the line and immediately heads over.

I think Shidou’s kids must have died immediately because of Throwdown. Throwdown has absolutely no references to his kids (though he does mention liking children and stuff like that in his first audio drama, which now kinda stings) and, were he also trying to save them, I’m sure there would’ve been at least some references. 

I think it’s far more likely that, whatever happened, both his kids died immediately, but his wife was in a condition where he could still try to save her. That’s when Throwdown occurs. Shidou probably focused intensely on trying to save his wife as a way to cope with the death of his children. Then, after his wife officially died, it really hit him that he had nothing left, and he was forced to process it. That’s when he started feeling all the guilt and wishing for death. 

This isn’t really relevant, but my best bet is a car crash. It seems like a likely and viable way that his kids could’ve died instantly while the wife could’ve kept living. As a minor note on that, he’s also walking back with groceries, which could indicate that someone else (the rest of his family) might’ve had a car. I don’t remember if Shidou mentions anything about driving or anything like that at any time, but if I had to call a method of death right now, that’s what I’d go for.

NOTE: I do want to disclaim this by saying it’s also possible that one of his kids was the flower person in Throwdown. He gives a receipt to one of his kids, so that could make some sense. I need to go back and compare the flower person in Throwdown with the people in Shidou’s family now that they have appearances. I also need to reread his first audio drama; he says something about it being fitting that Es is judging him, which could check out if his crime relates to trying to save his kid instead. If I am wrong and it was one of his kids that he was trying to save, then everything about what I’m saying still checks out; just swap everything I say about his wife with one of the kids.

Shidou purposefully showed us the least forgivable parts of his crime in Throwdown.

Looking back on it, Shidou painted himself in an awful light in Throwdown, and I’m sure it was intentional. After all, he was trying to get us to give him a guilty verdict. If you say that a prisoner like Muu might have been altering what part of her story we received in order to get her desired verdict in the first round (innocent), Shidou could absolutely do the same thing with a guilty verdict.

He doesn’t show us any of the context of his loved ones and how much he loved them; that was all stuff we had to read between the lines of. We see him butchering plant after plant only to end in horrific failure without ever seeing him succeed at anything surgical. (He still should’ve hypothetically been saving lives while doing all of this; it’s not like he was ONLY killing people.) 

He even shows us the horrified reactions of the loved ones of patients he killed. I can only imagine that he would do that if he was trying to spark a negative reaction in us.

In contrast, this MV is very straightforwardly showing how the day he lost his family went for Shidou and directly examines what verdict Shidou wants (more on this later). I think, therefore, that this is probably a much more honest view of the situation than Throwdown, at least in terms of how Shidou perceives the truth. 

Shidou is constantly plagued by the guilt of what happened.

The simplest way to explain this is with this image: 

When showing Shidou’s family turning to ghosts, he views the man that he used to be as dying with them. Shidou, as he was, is dead. Still, what happened clearly still impacts him. That’s pretty obvious, but I’m talking down to the details. He mentions kids and liking them in both of his audio dramas. Further, take this lovely image: 

Pancakes. Shidou made pancakes for his kids. In BOTH Minigrams 3 (Pancake) and 24 (Pancake: a Second Trial) Shidou is directly shown talking about pancakes and their relation to children. He really wants Amane, the young child, to try some. It seems like he used to make pancakes for his kids before they died. He’s very clearly not recovered in any sense. That’s not surprising, but it’s still something to point out.

Triage takes place almost entirely before and after Throwdown.

That sounds a little confusing, but all I mean is that Throwdown is completely isolated from this MV. Some parts of this MV happen before the events of Throwdown; those are the ones featuring Shidou’s wife and kids, as well as the ones where he simply looks younger. The other parts are clearly looking back at the same time frame, but are from Shidou’s present perspective, here in Milgram. Those are the ones where he reflects on his verdict or directly addresses what verdict he wants.

Most directly, I think the part at 2:14 indicates this. Shidou, looking back on the death he caused (knives in the pomegranates and other food, dead flowers, receipts from the surgeries that we also saw in Throwdown), says “I want to be INNOCENT / I want to live.” That’s him, in the Milgram prison, right now, coming to terms with the fact that he actually, genuinely wants to live right now.

In the audio drama, he’s clearly conflicted. He still says that he wants to die, that he wants to atone for his sins and that dying is the only way he can make it up to the people he killed. He also, though, says that, at least for right now, he wants to live. Futa and especially Mahiru are on death’s door, and there’s no telling what other injury might occur. He believes he’s essential to saving lives within the Milgram prison (and I think he’s 100% right).

He even directly references this in the song lyrics, talking about “extracting the fang.” The fang is clearly Kotoko, given that Milgram has referred to the damage Kotoko does with fang imagery before and given that that’s what he’s currently healing. He has to be the one to save them because he’s the only one who can; as a result, to save lives, he has to care about his life right now. While he’s still unsure of what final verdict he wants, he knows that he needs to stay alive, at least going into trial 3.

VOTE: INNOCENT

Personally, this one’s a no-brainer. Es theorizes in the audio drama that Shidou only harvested organs from braindead patients, and though he never outright confirms it, based on his responses, it seems to me like that’s true. That means his crime isn’t as severe as we initially thought it was.

Additionally, he’s right; he is indispensable to us right now. He outright says in the audio drama that if he stops giving Mahiru care, she’ll die, whether or not anything else happens to her. That basically tells us that voting Shidou guilty means Mahiru dies. That’s not good, and I’d rather avoid prisoner death when we think it’s possible.

I also just don’t think it’s smart to change verdicts on him here. If we decide that, after all is said and done, we can’t forgive Shidou, we should do that with the third verdict. Here, we want to leave both options open. Right now, Shidou is torn between wanting to live and wanting to die. If we switch to guilty, we’ll ruin any chance he has at recovering a will to live and a will to atone through any means other than death. If we want to preserve the option of forgiving him in the end, I think we have to forgive him here. We can debate whether his actions were forgivable or not in the last round.

#admin venus #milgram #ミルグラム #kirisaki shidou #shidou kirisaki #milgram theory #i'd like to apologize if this is incoherent #i moved around a bunch of paragraphs and i don't wanna proofread rn #i have to pack and go home for spring break tomorrow and it's already 5 am #the lights only just came back on recently #it's been a power out for a while over here which is why the other admins were talking about battery so much #also the mv didn't have english subs right at the drop so we watched in french for a hot minute #that was fun #also apologies if i'm too much of a shidou apologist but legit i feel like his crime is at least extremely understandable #and he does genuinely seem to want to help #the audio drama made me emo though ngl #like... oh... THAT'S why you were commenting on Es being a kid and all that so much... #i lost my train of thought. anyways have your initial thoughts #i'm gonna try to get the futa/mu/shidou full theories up over the next week or so cause break

[pearlywritings]

Let us take this pain and shed it away

synopsis: The text you recieve from your husband makes you restless, worried of what could possibly happen for the man to be so terse in his message and who that ‘fourth person’ he is talking about can possibly be. As it turns out it is someone very dear to both of you, someone who is in a desperate need of comfort.

pairing and characters: Zhongli x fem!reader, Xiao (the Rex-Lapis family), Hu Tao.

tw: hurt/comfort, modern AU, University AU, established relationship

word count: 5.4k+ words

a/n: was listening to Continued Story by Hitomi Kuroishi while writing. The fitting song in my opinion.

Also a part of my University modern AU with history professor Zhongli

Just one more hour you thought, straightening in your chair and flexing your shoulders, just one more hour and you could go home.

Work was quite slow today and you weren't even that tired, eyes scanning through another document as you gave your body some light exercising. A pain in the neck and back was honestly such a pain in another place, and while you did love Zhongli's strong fingers massaging your tense muscles after a couple of long days at work, you didn't want to abuse his kindness too often, so you were really pondering over the question: should you ask him for one today or not.

Speaking of Zhongli… This husband of yours had been exceptionally quiet today - you knew he had his phone with him (oh his tendency to leave it at home sometimes, forgetting to get it from recharging) and usually he'd message you something on his bigger breaks - but today your phone buzzed just once - when you both arrived to work and notified each other about doing so safely.

Well, he was a very busy professor, it honestly could be anything: a meeting, extra time taken from breaks to explain some more if students asked for it and so on… maybe even all at once!

Suppressing a rising groan you reached for the phone to make a work-related call, when the device vibrated suddenly. The name of your beloved appeared on the screen along with a picture of him with Xiao and Ganyu from the last time she came to visit during the University break of hers.

But a message from him, finally!

You didn't wait long to unlock your screen and tap the chat with him. At first your face lit up with joy. Though upon reading just the beginning of his message it changed to confusion, until you reached the end of it and pure concern overtook your features.

"I'll be home later. I know it's my turn, but please, be so kind as to get Xiao from his evening classes and cook dinner for four people. I'll explain everything once we arrive.

Love you."

Now that was strange. You reread the message a few more times, even waited a couple of minutes, hoping to get one more message, that'd bring the light upon the situation at least a little bit. But nothing.

Wrecking your brain back and forth in attempts to predict the possible reason behind the message you, nevertheless, typed back an "of course, dear. Be safe, see you later. Love you too", before putting the phone back on your working table. Then picking it up back again, almost having forgotten there were calls to make. You wouldn't question your husband and think about all of it much until he came home and explained everything. After all, you trusted him and something told you patience was the best you could do at the moment.

Two and a half hours later you were standing in the kitchen, stirring the vegetables in a pan and glancing at your phone occasionally, only to see no new messages every time you checked. Four people, four people… No, your daughter couldn't be the one, you knew your husband, if it was a surprise there'd be some sort of slip because of Zhongli's excitement, but there was clearly none. Not to mention it is the middle of her semester. Oh, but what if something bad happened and that's why she arrived?? Oof…

"Mom?" Suddenly a voice brought you back from a worrying brooding that overtook your mind, so engrossed in thoughts that you almost burnt the vegetables. Turning off the stove and then around you spotted your eight-year old son in the doorway.

"Yes, dear?" You hummed, moving the pan to another hob. The boy walked into the kitchen, ember eyes trained on your hands and, only when you reached for the towel to wipe them clean, moved his gaze to your face.

"I did my homework. Where is dad? He was supposed to come home an hour ago."

Oh yes, you'd like to know the answer to that question yourself. Glancing at the phone again gave you nothing and you sighed. You had no idea when Zhongli was going to arrive home, and honestly the uncertainty started to slowly kill you, but you didn't want it to put the same pressure on Xiao. So you opted for gently petting his hair to praise him for finishing his tasks so fast.

"Dad is going to be soon, baby. But if you are hungry, I can feed you now, I have everything almost ready."

Your son lowered his gaze for a moment thinking, but the loud rumbling of his stomach the next moment was a dead give away.

"Go wash your hands, I'll serve you your portion."

You didn't miss the small embarrassed pout on the boy's face before he scurried away to the bathroom. Oh baby, you smiled softly, turning to the cabinet to grab some plates, there was nothing wrong with that.

Ten minutes later the boy was stuffing his cheeks with dinner, swinging his legs and telling you about his day at school. Everything felt normal, and you almost convinced yourself there was no piece missing, despite an empty chair at the table. Xiao's soft voice, muffled by food, enveloped your senses like a small blanket, and you put your chin on a fist, a fond look not leaving your eyes, watching your son, who resembled his father so much with soft brown locks and liquid gold eyes, that curiously stared back at you.

"Mom, why aren't you eating?"

"Huh?" You snapped out of the daze and dropped your gaze to your plate that, indeed, was barely touched and slowly getting cold.

"Just spaced out a little, sorry, baby. You were saying?" You offered a smile, encouraging him to resume the retelling of today's event. Though you could clearly tell there was doubt written all over his face - he was always a sensitive baby - he did not comment anyhow on your strange behavior and just carried on.

This time you stayed more focused and Xiao's words even managed to pull your attention from the ever silent device, resting on the table just mere inches away from you. There was even an occasional giggle passing your lips whenever your boy mentioned something hilarious, or your eyes widened a little in wonder if he spoke of something new he learnt.Yes, everything finally became quite peaceful. Until it wasn’t.

You heard the doorbell ring and the sound echoed off the walls in a suddenly silent kitchen, and just like that all worries came back at you. The pace of the heart quickened, pumping blood with intensity, though you tried to keep yourself under control. You almost missed Xiao calling for you and asking if you were alright.

No you weren't. Not until you knew what was going on and the anticipation was gnawing at your mind at the moment.

"I am fine, baby," of course you couldn't admit it to him, standing up and giving the boy your best smile. "I'll go check if it's daddy. Go on with your food."

You saw how his arm flinched in a clear attempt to move to follow you, but yet stopping himself before his whole body was set in motion. A frown on his face though was evident now and molten gold in eyes turned sharp; he could clearly tell that something got you worked up and the nature of it wasn't necessarily good.

Before he changed his mind about staying in his seat, you bent down to place a quick peck to his cheek and just as fast you were out of the kitchen.

Behind the front door there was almost no sound, which made your stomach flip. Hesitant to peak in a peephole, you opted to take a deep breath and ask, as calmly as you could.

"Who's there?” 

A beat of silence and the heart drumming in your ears was deafening, beating against the ribcage like a crazy, freedom-thirsty bird. Another second ticked, and it became unbearable, nerve-wrecking, you chewed on your lips, fingers twitching, a thought of just yanking the door open flicking in your brain.

God, say something-

"It’s me, darling." 

Everything stopped. The sounds, the movements, the thoughts. The only thing registering was a smooth and so dearly familiar voice of your husband that made your whole body slump in relief, as if a huge weight was taken from your shoulders. 

“But I must warn you I have a guest here with m-”

Not giving him a chance to finish, you swiftly unlock the door and swing it open, letting the light from the hall illuminate two figures - one bigger and one smaller. Zhongli pursed his lips shut, when he saw a worried expression on your face, that soon became puzzled, as you finally realized who the fourth person the man was talking about was.

Hu Tao.

A vivacious girl in her early twenties, whom you treated like a dear niece ever since Zhongli first introduced her to you as the daughter of his old friends. She occasionally came by to hang out with Ganyu, even though the two sometimes finished their playdate with whining and complaining, because Ganyu was tired and wanted to nap and Hu Tao had way too much energy and mischief in her body to rest. She became an even more special guest after her parents passed away in a car accident around the time both her and your daughter were finishing middle and starting high school. Zhongli volunteered to help her grandpa look after her instantly and you supported that decision with all your might, always happy to see the girl in your house and providing her with comfort whenever she needed.

And by the look of it, today was just the case.

Brightly colored eyes didn’t hold the same gleam they usually did, and the way she was holding onto your husband’s coat draped around her shoulders told you of the stress she was under.

Yet nevertheless she tried to force a smile upon meeting your gaze.

"Hey, Mrs Rex-Lapis," her voice sounded so small, but she even gave you her usual wave of a hand, though it came out so meekly, your heart clenched in pain.

"Sweety,” softly you stepped forward and gently enveloped her in a hug, it felt crucial to do so, “It’s just Y/N or auntie for you. We've talked about it so many times, no need to be so formal with me, alright?”

All she did was nodding against your shoulder. Zhongli carefully guided you two inside, not wanting to break this embrace just yet, and slowly closed and locked the door behind. Just as carefully he peeled his coat off of her trembling frame - how didn’t you notice that? - and hung it in a wardrobe, along with his scarf and hat.

Then his palm found its place on her back, soothingly rubbing up and down, comforting her for something you weren’t aware of. He didn’t forget to kiss your cheek, murmuring a small “hello” against your skin, redirecting his eyes to the girl almost immediately. 

“Why don’t you go and wash your hands, dear? We’ll have some food heated for you, okay?”

Just like the first time she didn’t utter a word, only nodding, and the action seemed so lifeless to you, lacking the usual spark, a quick jerk of her chin she used to communicate ‘positive’. 

Now everything felt like slow motion. She drew herself from you reluctantly, lowering her eyes. Not even bending she used her feet to kick the shoes off and then quite literally dragged them to where your bathroom was down the hall. Only when she closed the door and water started running, you turned to Zhongli, staring at him and pointing your finger to the direction Hu Tao disappeared in with a raised brow.

“Well?”

“Love, I know I worried you and I am sorry,” sighing he bent to put the shoes neatly on the carpet, adding his own a second after, “but the moment I got the news I was just as worried as you are. Her grandfather was hospitalized.”

Your eyes widened and a hand flew to your mouth to muffle a horrified gasp, the scolding you had for him just at the tip of your tongue long forgotten and nonexistent.

“No… No, please, don’t tell me-”

“Nothing life-threatening yet, but they said he’d be in the hospital for a couple of weeks, so they could monitor his condition,” you let out a relieved exhale at that, taking a hold of Zhongli's hand when he reached to comfort you. “But Hu Tao didn’t want to leave the hospital either, so they had to call her emergency contact - me - and ask to convince her to go home. I even let my students go earlier, so I didn’t get in a traffic jam on my way there, I had to be there fast. I managed to persuade her to go with me and stay with us for these two weeks. I couldn’t let her go home, alone, in a state like that, I just couldn’t.”

“You did an absolutely right thing Zhongli,” you quickly reassured him, taking his second hand in yours, squeezing both. “Of course she can stay as long as she needs. I promise to do my best to take care of her.”

“I know you will, love,” the corners of his mouth lifted and adoration swirled in the gold of his eyes. “I count on your help. Words can’t describe how grateful I am for you always being here for her just as much as you are for our kids.”

“Don’t mention it, she is important to me after all. But speaking of our kids - go and greet Xiao, he’s been dying to finally see you today.”

“But Hu Tao-”

“Will be looked after. I am on it. Now go before our boy comes here himself.”

The man finally gave you a full smile and a proper kiss on your lips, squeezing your hands back, before letting go of them and hurrying to the kitchen.

You, on the other hand, approached the bathroom. Back pressed to the wall, you patiently waited, listening to the water running and the girl shuffling around, until all sounds came to a stop.

"Um… What towel can I use?" It seemed she heard you coming and knew you were standing outside.

"Yellow one, sweety," some more shuffling before the lock clicked open and Hu Tao emerged from the bathroom, having her knitted cardigan hanging off of her arm. Bare slumped shoulders only made the misery of her state more prominent. Caramel red eyes glanced at you briefly, before staring at the floor intently, as if she wanted to burn a hole in your parquet. In general she looked like she didn't know what to do with herself, so you decided to take the matter in your own hands.

"Hey, butterfly," you said softly, carefully placing just the tips of your fingers on her shoulder, to make sure she wouldn't flinch, "how about we go and get you some dinner? I bet you are hungry. How does it sound?"

"Sounds good," she quietly murmurs, sniffling and bringing a hand to rub at her eye, metal bracelets clinking melodically on her wrist. "Is Xiao there?"

"He is, but he won't ask questions, I promise," and you hoped your husband had warned him no to.

"Okay… okay," she nodded, more to herself, than to you, and allowed you to gently lead her to the kitchen with a full palm resting on her shoulder. Passing the hall, Hu Tao quickly glanced at the key hooks and stopped briefly to hang the cardigan on a free one. Then she paused in hesitation, sleeve caught between her fingers, as if contemplating should she really leave it there or she’d better take it to cover herself. The moment of doubt was short though, and she quickly let go of the browny red article of clothing. You saw everything, but didn’t comment anyhow, smiling at her, when she returned to your side and resumed your way.

When you stepped into the kitchen two pairs of golden eyes darted in your direction - one concerned and the other silently empathetic. This was enough to know Xiao was aware your guest wasn't in the right state to answer questions. Nevertheless he waved at her in greeting to which she did the same, mustering a small smile for the boy that was gone the moment she turned her head to look at Zhongli, who, instead of going to change, was busy with heating up food for Hu Tao and himself. You set the girl at the table and sat next to her, positioning your chair closely to hers. 

You observed how she straightened in her seat, squaring her shoulders and keeping her head high and gaze directed forward. Maybe this display, put out more for Xiao than for anyone else, could play out as convincing, but you weren’t fooled, not with the way her slim fingers, adorned with many rings, were tightly clasped under the table, turning white immediately from the intensity of her grip. Wordlessly, you reached to them, enveloping this lock of hands with your warm palm and keeping it there, as Zhongli put down the plates for himself and your guest, excusing himself just for a moment to finally change, and Xiao hopped off of his chair and started moving it closer to the sink, volunteering to wash the dishes.

Only when the man returned did Hu Tao bring her hands back to view and took the chopsticks.

With plates and mugs dried and placed in the cupboard, you closed the doors and placed the chair in its original place. Next step was to grab your wallet and give your son some shiny jingling reward for helping with chores, which you quickly proceeded to do. Your little wonder’s eyes twinkled happily and he scurried to his room to add it to his personal savings.

Zhongli watched you with a half-finished cup of tea in his hand, leaning to the countertop. He didn’t want to leave Hu Tao’s side at the time like that, but he also understood his duty as a father and, honestly, he missed Xiao the whole day. His face expression was screaming controversy, and you caught his gaze, upon coming back to the kitchen from putting the wallet away.

“You've done a lot already bringing her here, darling. Go spend some time with Xiao. You can join us later, I got it,” you pulled the cup from his grip and put it in the sink - the tea was cold at that point anyway. “We’ll be in the living room cuddling, text me if Xiao would want to join us too, alright?”

“Alright,” he nodded, pressing a short peck to your lips, pouring his gratitude through the small gesture. Then he once again looked at the girl, who seemed to be deep in thought, hardly hearing your interaction.

“Promise me she’ll be fine,” he whispered and you sighed. Of course you’d make everything to assure it. With years going by you grew to love and care for Hu Tao just as much as you did for your older daughter. Your heart ached just as much seeing sadness overtaking her features, and it pained the same way it did whenever you saw the expression on Ganyu’s face, no matter what the cause was. Even if both were almost grown up women, you still couldn't worry for them any less.

And you knew that the girl had a special place in your husband's kind heart.

“She will,” you said firmly, determination radiating from your eyes and Zhongli for a second almost lost himself to falling in love with you over again. You had to push him a little in the doorway direction, to remind him he was needed somewhere else at the moment.

With your husband gone from the kitchen, you hummed softly, drawing Hu Tao’s attention.

“Hey, butterfly,” gaze filled with melancholy shifted to you, “let’s get you to the living room.”

A silent question and confusion flashed behind her eyes, to which you offered her a smile, and then an extended hand.

“To cuddle, my dear.”

“To cuddle…” She repeated like a parrot, absentmindedly sliding her palm into yours and forcing her body to cooperate and stand up. She was putting her trust into you while showing no resistance, and you were sure not to fail her.

“Mhm, there you go,” encouragement poured from your lips, washing over her in calming waves, making the girl take a deep breath. She grimaced a little, as the take proved to be too much for her lungs in an almost painful way, so she hurried to exhale. Your heart clenched again. If only some of this pain could be taken away, if only you could take and shed it away.

But you were no deity and could only do as much as bringing her to the couch, gently setting her there and brushing her bangs away.

“Let’s untie these,” you didn’t wait for her response, carefully twisting the hair tie off of one of her ponytails and letting her long brown locks cascade down her face. Soon the twin tail was released as well, and you busied yourself with running fingers near the roots, to soothe her and brush the tangles a little bit. You didn’t see the girl’s face, but her back against your legs became more relaxed.

"Now ready to cuddle?" 

Hu Tao thought of how amazing you were, sounding cheerful, despite being so obviously worried for her, touching her gently and delicately, helping her further on the couch and into your warm embrace with a duvet being dragged over your bodies. How precise you were in your movements, bringing her close, yet giving all the freedom to get into a comfortable position, which the girl didn't hesitate to choose. One arm tightly wrapped around your middle and the other fisting the material of her own shirt, with head tilted down and long hair obscuring half of the face.

"Is this okay?" You were so considerate and kind it almost hurt, but in a good, most joy-bringing way.

Her eyes stung and she quietly sniffled, hoping you didn't notice. Even if you did - you did not seem to show, letting her have her moment of trying to not start the waterworks. She knew she could be vulnerable with you and Zhongli and she had washed her makeup before dinner, but it wasn't that.

No. She just knew, if she let herself go now…

...the dam would be broken and no human would fix it for hours.

Yet, she desperately wanted for those painful intrusive thoughts to go away, mind and body exhausted, worn out with worry and the feeling of hopelessness. Images of white still dancing before her eyes - white walls, white coats of nurses and doctors, whose words she couldn’t decipher with all that white noise filling her ears after hearing the news… And the pale, almost white face of her grandpa.

No, no, she must not think of it.

You shivered when suddenly she curled even more into your body, fingers letting go of her shirt and then clinging to yours, crumpling it.

"...is this okay with you?" Your heart sank in your stomach. Did that shiver make her think you were uncomfortable? Of course, you weren’t, it’s just that her voice sounded so quiet and broken… almost shattering your own resolve.

"Sure it is, butterfly, I love cuddling with you, it is totally okay," you hurried to reassure, wrapping your arms around her frame to prove your words. So secure, Hu Tao felt so protected by a simple touch, by you... She barely managed to force the emotional choke back down her throat, tightening the hold on the front of your shirt.

"No, that's… not what I was asking about…" murmuring she turned her face to the side, muffling the words against the sofa cushions, yet you heard them.

"Want to talk about it?" Your hand is back in her hair, delicately cupping the back of her head, fingertips gently scratching the scalp. A shaky sigh and a quiet cough - exhaling into a solid object wasn't the best idea. The girl was silent, barely showing her face, so you leaned forward, putting your chin on top of her head, holding her impossibly close.

“Just don’t suffocate yourself, dear,” you reminded her and in a second felt her head turning, facing your collarbones and properly breathing. “Good, good… We can just stay like this, it’s okay if you don’t want to talk, I got you.”

You heard a tiny sniffle and a ragged breath. Comfortingly you started humming, rocking your tangled bodies as much as the lying position allowed.

Hu Tao’s eyes stung more unbearably than before, so she squeezed them shut tightly, pressing her forehead to your collarbones. A full sob wrecked her throat, but she still was trying to hold on what crumbs were still left of her self-control, but gods was that hard. Not when she felt so safe next to you, not when your voice, so sweet and soothing, plucked at the strings of her soul, not when you were so willing to be here for her, when you had absolutely no obligation to be there for her…

Just like her loving grandpa.

…

Oh no.

The tears welled in her eyes, escaping and running down her rosy cheeks, facade ruined completely. Wailing cries muffled against her fist, still holding onto your shirt, didn’t sound less heart-wrenching. The dam was broken.

The headache was killing her. Her throat burnt and eyes felt like they were going to roll out of her sockets. Everything felt slightly painful, with body having been stuck in one position for so long - she didn’t think she’d be able to move even a muscle.

There were still arms tightly wrapped around her, cradling her head in a warm palm, and she still heard the same soft and loving voice, now talking to another, equally dear one.

“She is worn out… we need to take her to bed.”

“Ganyu room?”

“Yeah… She’d need privacy.”

“Agreed.”

“She looks really tired… You think you could carry her?”

“Of course, let me just-” Hu Tao heard the footsteps of a person coming to the other side of the sofa - her side. Your arms carefully unwrapped from around her and rolled her body to lay on the back. Then two other arms - much stronger ones - slide under her knees and shoulder blades, effortlessly lifting her from the couch. “Here we go.”

Only then did she open her eyes. Everything was blurry and it was hard to see with lights dimmed, but even so the liquid gold staring down at her was unmistakable. She blinked a few times, sighing and cringing a little from how raspy it sounded. Palm fisted and came to rub at her eyes, ears picking on the sound of shuffling - of you getting yourself off of the piece of furniture where the whole outburst happened and where you spent two hours holding her close and comforting the poor girl the best ways you could. The memory of what happened was a saddening one, but Hu Tao was actually glad for taking all of it out of her system. She didn’t want to think what it would be like, if she was all alone.

“Dear,” but the smooth deep voice of the man who vowed to be her guardian instead of her deceased parents reminded her that she was not indeed alone, “I’ll get you to the bathroom so you can wash your face, and then to rest for the night, okay?”

“Okay, sounds like a plan” your face lit up when she did not simply nod, but voiced her answer, exhaling in relief. You watched as she carefully wrapped her arms around Zhongli’s neck to make holding her more comfortable for him, and thought that she’d be alright.

“While you two are at it, I’ll go and put the new sheets and stuff.”

Hu Tao turned in your direction, just as you were ready to head out, and cleared her throat.

“Thank you.”

Halting in your steps, you faced her and, seeing the gratitude reflecting in her eyes - the eyes where a small spark was flickering once again, smiled.

“Always, butterfly.”

She watched you disappear in the hallway and her heart swelled with unspoken emotion. She was so damn lucky to find a family in you two. Was that what Ganyu felt when you adopted her, and she started living a proper life as the daughter of the Rex-Lapis couple? Probably it was.

She kept silent and to herself all the way to the bathroom, where Zhongli put her down on the tiled floor carefully. Assured she was firmly standing on her feet, he let her do her thing, promising to come back with slippers for her - something he had forgotten to give at her arrival.

Rings and bracelets clinked against the edge of the bathtub, where she placed them to not be in a way, leaving just one spare hairtie she always had on her. Rolling it further up her wrist, she reached for the faucet. 

Cool water helped to clear her mind and wash the dried tear trails from her cheeks, and a moment later a very tired, but not as miserable as it used to be, face appeared in the mirror above the sink. Already red eyes were bloodshot, but, she supposed, it wasn’t that bad, it’s not like she was going to a beauty contest in ten minutes. The small joke even made her chuckle softly, rubbing at her cheek and then bending down to blow her nose.

Zhongli was back in ten minutes and knocked politely, just as she was half-done with twisting the strands of her long hair in one braid.

“Almost done, uncle Li. Come in,” the doorknob turned and the door opened slightly, just enough to squeeze the slippers inside and leave them there.

“No, no, take your time. I’ll wait outside.”

And wait he did. When Hu Tao stepped out of the bathroom, tapping the hilarious spider-like big slippers, the man was there, switching the lights off the moment the girl closed the door. Now let me tell about those slippers - you once bought them for your husband as a joke for Halloween, which, upon seeing during one of her visits, the girl fell in love with and always asked to wear when being over. It’s not like Zhongli had something against it, in all honesty, they were hideous to him. He loved you with his whole heart, but they were hideous and uncomfortable. 

However he had to admit, his gaze softened when she lifted one of her feet and jerked it, making the spider legs jump up and down. Oh, she really loved them.

“Here’s a box you can store your accessories in,” he offered her a small plastic container with a lid - simple, but quite enough to have all her rings and bracelets stored. She literally dumped those inside, and Zhongli closed the lid, handing it to her.

“Thanks, Uncle Li,” the first smile after the crying fit grazed her lips, and Zhongli mentally kissed all over your face, for being there for her.

“Uncle Li?” oh, speak of the devil. You joined them with a pile of bedding you took off the bed in your arms. “What happened to “Lincle”?”

“My love…” your husband’s brows shot up at the mention of the nickname Hu Tao once came up with. Cause combining “Li” and “Uncle” this way was faster and easier to pronounce.

“Come on, dear, that was cute,” you giggled and glanced at Hu Tao. “He thought it was cute too.”

“Did not.”

“Sure did.”

“Y/n-”

Listening to your meaningless, soon-to-be-turned affectionate bickering and seeing how a barely noticeable blush crept onto the esteemed University’s professor’s cheeks, Hu Tao shook her head with a soft smile. She was definitely in good hands.

And she vowed to herself that she wouldn’t let depressing thoughts corrupt her mind anymore, she would show gratitude to this family by doing so, since that’s what made them so worried. She’d have so many great stories to tell her grandpa when he got better, and he would. 

She was sure of that.

#genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #zhongli x reader #zhongli x fem!reader #zhongli #xiao #hu tao #genshin modern au

[three-two-six]

120 SINF facts I collected while rereading the series

Behold, my magnum opus.

Josh likes Shrek

Dee has The X-Files theme song as his ringtone

Scatty doesn’t blink. Ever.

Dee gave Mary Shelley the idea for Frankenstein

Scatty can’t enter your room if you don’t invite her in

Scatty is a vegetarian

Perry needed to teach Nicholas English at some point because he forgot it

Ghosts love bathrooms

Josh is 5 cm taller than Sophie

Dee has always been fascinated by the idea of flying

Josh hates snakes, spiders, rats, and scorpions

Scatty hates rain, and it is one of the reasons she left Ireland

Scatty is allergic to feathers and fur

Scatty easily burns in the sun

According to the Codex, apples are poisonous and frogs can turn into princes, both of which Zephaniah confirms are incorrect claims

Zephaniah tried to marry off Scatty to king Nabukodonosor when she was 15

Dee prefers living in bigger cities

Scatty gets sick from using leygates

Josh is incredibly susceptible to seasickness

Nicholas helped create the French sign language

Machiavelli desecrated Nicholas’ and Perenelle’s graves more than three centuries ago and broke their gravestone. The Flamels saw everything

Zephaniah is an Elvis Presley fan

Sophie thinks European chocolate is too bitter

Scatty hates flying

Scatty speaks 6-7 HUNDRED languages

Machiavelli is the type of guy to punch a hole in the wall when he’s angry

Francis speaks ALL languages. ALL of them.

Scatty bites her nails when she’s nervous

Vampyres don’t sweat (this includes Scatty and Aoife)

Francis is terrible at tending to plants

Nicholas pulled off the first blood transfusion in history

Joan is also a vegetarian

Dee has a habit of cutting the phone call before the other person just so that his word can be last. Machiavelli is the most prominent victim of this

Dee doesn’t like flying

The Sphynx is afraid of dark

The pyramids in Egypt were built for the Danu Talis survivors

Josh collects fossilized feces

Joan loves cooking and grows spices on her rooftop

Machiavelli has manicured nails

Dagon often has nightmares about the fall of Danu Talis

Machiavelli knows how to program in five different programming languages

Machiavelli's one of the few world experts on quantum physics

Aerop-Enap tends to sleep off large chunks of human history

Sophie can run really fast

Machiavelli is a vegetarian

Machiavelli has stamina problems

Gilgamesh doesn't have an aura

Perry's aura doesn't have a smell

William cooks when he's nervous

Bastet can tolerate iron better than most Elders

Both Josh and Mars carry swords in their left hand

Machiavelli was the brain behind Napoleon

Francis is the only known person in the SINF universe that was born with the ability to see where leygates are

Scatty was told that she'd die in an exotic place

Billy speaks French

The Flamels worked on the first atomic bomb ever

Gilgamesh once requested to have the world’s first atomic bomb be detonated right above him. The Flamels placed him in a mental institution for 10 years because of it

Sophie doesn't like onions

Francis taught Aoife how to see leygates

Machiavelli thinks about his death unusually often

Niten is the only humani who defeated Scatty in a one-on-one fight

Virginia has a very expensive taste

Virginia lives in a tent

Canonically the reason Machiavelli and Dee keep underestimating Perenelle is that they're misogynists (at least according to Virginia Dare)

Niten collects classic cars

Dee is terrible at tending to plants

Aoife once crashed a vimana and blamed it on Scatty

Odin sacrificed his eye to an Archon in exchange for eldritch knowledge

Abraham has an extra finger on each hand

Krakens are actually only about an inch large. Apparently, sailors overestimated their size a little…

The Morrigan’s tears turn into small feathers

Dee is very susceptible to seasicknes

Nereus is responsible for the Bermuda Triangle dissappearances

Scatty and Aoife were the first of the Next Generation

The Codex has twenty-one pages

Hel imprisoned Joan in her shadowrealm once

Virginia and her flute are bonded

Billy has cold hands

Virginia doesn’t speak Latin, and neither does Billy

Mars has a coal black tongue

Sophie is afraid of spiders

Aten is a history nerd

Isis is older than Osiris

Virginia Dare is a Vegetarian

Virginia didn’t know how to speak until she was ten or eleven

Billy read Machiavelli’s The Prince

Josh looks up to Billy as a legend

Black Hawk dislikes spicy food

It’s possible to summon Elders by praying to them

Virginia was besties with Albert Einstein and her tales about shadowrealms inspired his theory of relativity

Prometheus is the self-proclaimed finest vimana flier in Danu Talis

Will abhors weapons and has never fired a gun in his life

The first humani created by Prometheus all had his facial features

Perenelle hates coffee

Tsagaglalal has no fingerprints

Josh suffers from claustrophobia

Perenelle once knocked out one of Quetzalcoatl’s back molars

Prometheus hates parrots

Prometheus read Niten’s book

Mars disagrees with just about everything in Niten’s book

There are rumors that Leonardo da Vinci was immortal

Hel loves raw pork

The only place in the world Dee hasn’t been to is Denmark

Aoife considers Khutulun, a prominent immortal warrior and niece of Kublai Khan as the “daughter she always wanted”. She is currently breeding horses in Kentucky

Isis and Osiris paint their nails black

Quetzalcoatl is a loner

Quetzalcoatl is responsible for The great Northeast blackout

Billy and Black Hawk are Star Trek fans

Machiavelli is a Star Wars fan

Machiavelli actually liked Napoleon

Tor Ri in which lives Abraham has exactly 248 steps

Marethyu doesn’t breathe or have a heartbeat

Isis and Osiris have dark purple tongues

One of the reasons Elders don’t like congregating in the same place is the risk that their auras could cause a natural disaster

Zephaniah is allergic to cats

Cookie-dough ice cream gives Virginia a rash

Dee’s favorite ice cream flavor is cookie-dough

Billy loves eating crab legs

Scathach and Aoife were trained by Tsagaglalal

Prometheus doesn’t have a pulse

#sinf #sotinf #not gonna lie i mostly made this list for myself #i think of it as a useful reference sheet

[skylarsblue]

Hii! I would like to ask for Sinclair brothers with a gn s/o who struggles with an ed? Preferably anorexia, but you can make it unspecified if that'll work better for you ^^ Thank you so much and if you need any closer info, I'd be happy to help!

(Hope you're doin' alright and sorry this took so long!)

✦Struggling With An Eating Disorder✦

✦I make this a bit more subtle but please proceed with caution. If you're struggling, there are places to reach out. Including hotlines.✦

✦GN! Reader, unspecified race, height, & body type, again, proceed with caution✦ ✧Vincent; He/They, Bo; He/Him, Lester; He/Him. Bonus: Carly; She/Her, Nick; He/Him✧

✧Vincent Sinclair✧

Vincent's the most emotionally competent of his brothers, which comes with being an artist. They also understand being physically insecure, and wanting to change those aspects of themselves. Vincent will be the one to notice signs even if you haven't said anything.

He's hesitant to actually approach you with his suspicions, but his concern will eventually overtake the anxiety of being wrong. It's hard to be verbally gentle with sign language but they do their best. If you struggle to admit it and start crying or getting upset, they'll do their best to express that they aren't upset in anyway. He's just worried.

Victor was a medical doctor but had some books on mental health, which Vincent has read, and he will go back and reread them if he thinks they'll hold anything that'll help. The information might be outdated but he'll take whatever he can to ensure they know everything possible they can do to help.

Keeping up with a therapist is hard out in Ambrose, and all the brothers are hesitant about you leaving on the chance you let something slip. But, when trust has been built, Vincent will pressure Bo to let you go. If Bo doesn't take you, Lester will. You're likely to miss appointments but Vincent does their best to keep up with it.

They're not good at cooking or with food in general. They don't have a disorder but they forget to eat often. Still, he does his best to eat with you so you don't feel alone with it, assuming that's what helps. In their mind, making it more of a social things leaves less room for your mind to wander and make you feel bad. He'll even take his mask off for you.

Vincent's got a plethora of markers and paint, and they will absolutely go in on everything Bo brings into the house and cross out the calories. Even if that means painting over an entire package.

They enjoy drawing you frequently, and the way they do is always so honest and surreal. If you see his drawings of you, you might ask why he chooses you. Every time they'll respond with a genuine, from-the-heart sentiment. "You're the best muse I could have." "I want the challenge of capturing your beauty." "Every artist needs something beautiful for reference."

Vincent means it every time.

✧Bo Sinclair✧

Bo's really not emotionally intelligent. He's harsh and rough and approaches everything in life with a hardened expression. But not with you, not after you've wormed your way into his heart and made yourself at home in his ribs.

He's not gonna understand at first, not if you put it in simple terms at least. He's never had that problem. But when he sees how it affects you on really bad days, it'll start to dawn on him that it's not an easy fix. You can't just pick something up and eat it. It's a battle all the time. This is when he starts to soften up and treat it more delicately, as delicately as he knows how anyway.

If he can't find a working pen, he'll tear/cut out the calorie counts on foods & drinks. And if he's taken you out somewhere, he'll reach over and cover calorie numbers with his hand. If it's a big sign over the order counter, he'll simply tell you to go sit down while he orders. You might think Bo doesn't notice, but he'll know all your favorites by heart.

He's gonna ask you what he can do to make it easier. If you say you don't know, he'll throw out options until one seems to stick. And then he'll adopt it to his routine religiously. Forming habits is easy and he knows this. Adding another step to his general day routine is nothing for him.

Bo's hyper-protective of you. It shows in his reluctance to let you leave the town, to be involved in the process of wax figures, even climbing on the counter to grab something high up. Lester says it's the older brother in him, Vincent once called it "dad instincts". Ironic, given Bo hated his own father the most. So if he hears a single comment about your appearance from someone else, and it's not a compliment? He's immediately throwing hands.

He'll pick up photography again, a gesture he hopes silently conveys how he sees you. Every camera click and slide of polaroid film is him trying to tell you how he sees you, since he's not that good with words. He'll pin them up in the garage and certainly keeps more than one in his wallet.

Bo will rip the size tags off your clothes. But, he'll remember it, so that way he can buy your clothes. You don't have to worry if you no longer fit in a medium, large, or small. He's got it logged in his head. If he really isn't sure, he'll try to subtly measure your waist with his hands, acting out physical affection while gathering the data he needs. Just to avoid even the concept of you worrying about that letter in the back of your jeans. His physically affection will also double. Naturally, he's a horny bastard, and he'll try to show you he finds you attractive by using stuff like sex. But if you aren't up for it, or the insecurity is just a bit too much, he'll certainly settle for holding you on the couch.

And honestly? He'll bring back his old poem hobby, write you a sonnet, hoping the words on paper will translate how they do in his brain. "It's not that good but...ya know, the meanin's there." He's a bastard because it's an absolutely beautiful poem and it's definitely gonna make you cry.

✧Lester Sinclair✧

Lester's more in touch with his feelings and the emotions of others than Bo, but he's not as in tune as Vincent. Still, Lester is very observant of things like body language and voice cues. If he sees enough signs, he might not know it's an eating disorder, but he will eventually ask if you see yourself negatively. It breaks his heart when you admit it and part of him will wonder if he contributed in anyway. He's relieved when you say he hasn't, but it still pains him.

If your problems with food stem from things like childhood trauma or parental pressure, he's gonna have a murderous rage for those people, but you won't ever see it. The only Lester you see is charming lover with the patience of a saint. And terrible puns.

He'll probably talk to his brother Vincent for advice since Vincent's the one that was ever interested in mental health and psychology. He wants all the information he can get so he can support you completely. Lester thinks of himself as an idiot, but he's not gonna let that stop him from keeping you happy.

Lester rarely goes to grocery stores and tends to make all his meals from scratch. But, still, he'll cover calorie counts on anything he needs to buy in. Sometimes he'll move snacks into new containers because he couldn't find a marker and he couldn't tear that portion out. He won't even throw the package in the house trash, he'll put it in the outside one.

He drives into the city most frequently and he will absolutely go off his work route to drop off/pick you up from therapy. No matter how expensive the appointments are too. He makes decent money and he's got a pretty cheap lifestyle, but even if he didn't, it wouldn't matter. He'd simply pick up a second job to cover the cost.

Lester's cooking skills are actually rather impressive, and he eats surprisingly healthy meals. (excluding a lot of salt & using roadkill meat) If that's the kind of thing that'll help, then yeah. He'll even help you start a vegetable garden. Anything to help you and hey, acts as bonding time.

If anyone makes a single comment about your size or weight, he'll honestly kill them on the spot. Lester is the kindest of the Sinclairs, and he is the most sane, but he's not above chucking a body into the roadkill pit. If there's anything left to dispose of anyway. He'll get it done quickly & ruthlessly, then come home to you with a grin and a hug with your name on it.

Lester isn't good with words and he's not always sure if he's helping, but he makes it clear he's trying. You're his special person, if anyone's gonna make sure you know that, it's him. No matter what it is. He'll bend over backward without your request because he feels that's the bare minimum, to keep you as happy & healthy as possible.

✦Bonus✦

✧Carly✧

She understands the pressure of needing to maintain a certain weight. Society is a bitch, after all. But Carly ain't about that, and she'll support you with everything she's got. Whether it's chucking out calorie numbers or being with you for every meal. She'll do her best to encourage you to eat at least once a day, even if it's hard. And if you're struggling to the point of tears, she'll hush you and give you gentle words of encouragement. She's extremely proud of you every time you make a breakthrough.

✧Nick✧

He's an asshole a lot of the time, but he cares, he honestly does. Hearing you have that kind of struggle with your body is, well, it makes him angry. Not at you, but at the fact he can't fix it for you. So he'll speak to you softly and express his adoration for you as best he can, even if he's real rough around the edges. Even when he and his sister are on rocky ground with each other, he'll drop his pride and go to her for advice if he's left unsure what to do. Nick feels like you're the only good thing that's ever happened to him and he's fucked up enough in his life. He's not about to let you struggle with something alone.

#tw eating issues #house of wax #house of wax 2005 #bo sinclair #bo sinclair x reader #vincent sinclair #vincent sinclair x reader #lester sinclair #lester sinclair x reader #carly house of wax #nick house of wax #slasher x reader #slasher headcanons #slasher #slasher community #slashers

[femmefatalevibe]

Could you please give us some types for the initial stage of being alone because you have cut all of the toxic people around you?

Allow yourself to feel all your emotions and thoughts, authentically and without self-criticism or judgment: Acknowledge that you're grieving. Accept that you need to mourn your loss. Even if it is better to move on in life without these people, it is healthy and completely valid to grieve the relationships you had with these people – regardless of whether they were one-sided, deluded, or otherwise toxic. Allow yourself to cry, be angry, lie in bed, etc. Hit a pillow, sleep in all day on a weekend, or wear a set of pajamas for a WFH day. Give yourself permission to engage in self-soothing behaviors without any type of self-harm or self-sabotage.

Rest, relax, and pamper yourself in your leisure time: Spend time taking it easy – reading, watching TV, doing a face mask or another indulgent skin treatment, using a body massager, cooking dinner in a silk robe and slippers, lighting a candle, cozying up in a blanket, etc. Allow yourself to feel at peace. Create a sanctuary in your space.

Take time for introspection and self-discovery: Being in any type of relationship with toxic people is draining and can cause you to feel as though you've lost a part of yourself by trying to make the relationship succeed. Now, it's time to reclaim yourself after you've courageously cut out these toxic people from your life. Consider and honor your deepest desires, values, interests, hobbies, lifestyle, goals, aesthetic, food, sexual, entertainment preferences, etc. Go on a self-discovery journey to figure out who you really are, what you believe, and who you will work to become as you enter this new, exciting chapter of your life.

Journal, read, eat healthily, work out, drink plenty of water, and sleep: Go back to the basic healthy habits. Try to journal for at least 5-10 minutes a day (using a 5-minute journal, morning pages [writing 3 pages of stream-of-conscious thoughts first thing in the morning], journal or shadow work prompts), make 2-3 whole food, plant-based meals with carbs, veggies, fruits, proteins, and healthy fats, find some ways to incorporate movement into your day – 30-minute walk or yoga session is enough if that's all you can manage consistently, have your body weight in ounces of water daily, and sleep for around 7-8 hours a night. Do some inner child healing by taking care of your core needs.

Indulge in all of your favorites: There's a lot of fun you can have when you have total freedom regarding your daily activities and choices. Give yourself permission to enjoy this solitude. Wear your favorite outfits every day (occasion-appropriate options, of course), including pajamas, loungewear, lingerie, and accessories. Make your favorite meals and snacks throughout the week (incorporating some healthy options in there to feel your best – I love a good oatmeal bowl, frozen grapes, baked Japanese sweet potato, or a hummus and vegetable plate). Watch your favorite TV shows or movies. Indulge in a glass of wine you love or reread a favorite book. Create a masterful playlist. Plan a day of your favorite activities (a long walk, getting a coffee, indulging in a spa day, going to a farmer's market, going to a yoga class, etc.) Treat yourself like your own best friend.

Get comfortable doing things alone: Honestly, no one cares or is paying attention to if you're doing activities alone or with someone else. If someone shows too much interest in your solitude, they're probably projecting their own insecurities regarding their perceived social ridicule. Take yourself shopping, to the nail salon, out for a meal, to the movies, etc. alone. Personally, I love doing most of these things alone anyways. Running errands alone gives you some space to clear your mind and think freely.

Define what an ideal social life and/or relationship looks like for you: Once you've become comfortable with yourself and living life on your own terms, it's time to embrace your desire for human connection and socialization. Consider the types of people you want in your life – their values, personalities, interests, goals, favorite activities, relational boundaries, etc., and where/when/how often you want to interact with them.

Create an action plan: Reconnect with the people in your life who continue to show up for you and have been a light through these toxic relationships and their lasting effects over the months or years. Decide on the places, groups, and ways you'll reach out/try to meet these people. Figure out how to expand your network, and make new connections. Don't be afraid to put yourself out there. You won't vibe with everyone you meet, but it is worthwhile to engage in small talk with several strangers if even one of these new faces, later on, becomes a good friend or acquaintance. A varied social circle is a great way to enrich your life.

Take small steps, then strides: Be gentle on yourself throughout this entire process. It is perfectly okay to take one day at a time during the grieving process. Everyone's healing journey will look different and evolve at a different pace. Don't let these toxic people remain in your heart, mind, and spirit. Remember that you deserve love, kindness, happiness, success, peace, and patience.

#self love #healing journey #self healing #personal growth #toxic parents #toxic relationship #toxic people #toxic ex #inner child #inner voice #self improvement #self care #femme fatale #dark feminine energy #dark femininity #glow up #it girl #female power #high value mindset #high value woman #female excellence #dream girl #the feminine urge #that girl #girl advice #girl blogging #life advice #life lessons #life path #level up journey