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inevitably-johnlocked · 4 years

Note

Hi :) I... really wanna read a fanfic or two but I can't find one I vibe with xD So... do you know one that's not too long (around 100k words maybe), has hurt and comfort, smut (am I allowed to ask about that?? Ahhhh) and a happy ending? Top!lock would be a bonus but it's not necessary. And if it's a nice AU (like... any kind but no crossovers pls), it would be perfect! :D By the way, I found your blog only a few hours ago and I already feel really comfy and Idk, kinda at home here ^-^

Hi Nonny!!!

Welcome to my corner of the Tumblrsphere!!! I’m so happy you’ve found me, LOL, because I love all my followers and friends! <3

First of all, I think it’s super cute that “not too long” to you is “around 100K” LOL LOL LOL!!! <3 That said, I’d argue all my fic recs are fabulous, LOL. But again, I’m stupidly proud of the wonderful lists I’ve accumulated, because it satisfies my organization kink LOL. And yes, you’re ALWAYS allowed to ask for smut here LOL.

ANYWAY, so I’m gonna use this ask as an excuse to post up a long-overdue part two to my 50 to 100K fic list! But first, here’s some past lists for the genres you’re looking for:

FIC MASTER PAGES: PG1 || PG 2 || PG 3

Toplock (Mar 2020)

Omegaverse

Please Check PG 3 for all my AU fic lists. There’s a lot :)

Hurt / Comfort Pt. 1: Under 5K Words

Hurt / Comfort Pt. 2: 5K to 10K Words

Fandom Favourites / Popular Fics

I hope those will get you started! So now, here’s the main event!! Hope you enjoy them!

50 - 100 K WORDS Pt. 2 (Novel Length)

See also:

Fics Under 2000 w.

Fics Under 2000 w. Pt. 2

Fics Under 2000 w. Pt. 3

E-Rated Johnlock for Newcomers Pt 1 (Short Fics under 20K)

Novella Length Fics: 25 to 50K (Aug. 2019)

Novel Length Fics: 50 to 100K (Nov. 2018)

Novel Length Fics: 100K+ w. (May 2019)

Long S3/Post-S3 Fics (20K+ w.) [Apr 2020]

Top 20 Fave 40K+ w. Fics (April 2017)

Smut-Free Fics Over 50K (Aug 2019)

The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse by SilentAuror (E, 50,635 w., 1 Ch. || Post-S4/S4 Divergence, Case Fic, For a Case / Reverse Fake-Relationship, Conferences, Marriage Equality, Travelling / New York, Pride, Homophobia, Bottomlock, Marriage Proposal, John POV, Sexuality, Love Confessions, Emotional Love Making, Public Hand Jobs, Blow Jobs, Passionate Kissing, Needy/Clingy Sherlock, Virgin Sherlock, Touching / Hand Holding, Bed Sharing, Little Spoon Sherlock, Intense Orgasms) – John and Sherlock go to New York to attend a conference run by the National Defence of Traditional Marriage Coalition in order to investigate the potential bombing of the annual Manhattan Pride parade. As the conference unfolds, John finds himself repulsed by the toxic ideology being presented, which becomes relevent to his own unacknowledged issues and his friendship with Sherlock...

Repairing the Broken Things by BakerTumblings (M, 75,252 w., 15 Ch. || S4 Compliant, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Medical Trauma, Hospitals, Big Brother Mycroft, Misunderstandings, Realizations, Severe Accident, John Whump, Pneumonia, Medical Procedures, Bed Sharing, First Time, Healing, Happy Ending) – "I'm calling today to notify you that there's been an accident."

Points by lifeonmars (E, 53,791 w., 42 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || HLV Rewrite / Canon Divergence, Married Life, Pregnancy / Baby Watson, Drinking to Cope, Boxing / Fisticuffs, Clueless John, Angst, Minor Medical Drama, Tattoos, Christmas, First Kiss/Time, Eventual Happy Ending, Love Confessions, Doctor John, Sexuality Crisis, Slow Burn, Case Fic, Drugging, Blow/Hand Job, Emotional Love Making, Parenthood, Passage of Time) – What if His Last Vow never happened? This fic picks up a few months after John and Mary's wedding, in an alternate universe where Magnussen doesn't exist, but Mary is still pregnant. Life continues -- just in a different direction. And slowly, Sherlock and John find their way to each other.

Never Change a Running System by Lorelei_Lee (E, 54,246 w. || Pre-TRF, Romance, Humour, Drama, Sex Toys, Anal, Rimming, Masturbation, Frottage, Blow Jobs, Public Sex, First Kiss / Time, Virgin Sherlock / Loss of Virginity, Accidental Voyeurism, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Experiments, Naive Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Jealous Sherlock, Possessive Sherlock, Straight With an Exception John, Hand Jobs) – Sherlock discovers his sexuality – with far-reaching consequences for John.

A Hundred Crimson Sols by elldotsee (E, 55,536 w. || Astronauts AU || Mars Exploration / Space Travel, Slow Burn, Shy Sherlock, Scientist Sherlock / Biomed Engineer John, Alternating POV, Mutual Pining, UST, Angst with Happy Ending, Domestic Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Injuries, Suicidal Ideation, Zero-G Sex) – Will Holmes is a chemical researcher recognized widely for his contributions to the new Mars exploration program. Thanks to his ground-breaking developments, the IMMC (International Mars Mission Corporation) is one step closer to Martian colonization. Will and his team of scientists are headed out on the first of three manned missions before the first group of settlers arrive. Three days before launch, one of the crew has to be replaced. Will panics because...new people. The replacement is of course one John Watson, biomedical engineer and space hottie who was pretty sure he had retired from actual space exploration and was now content to work in the nice, quiet research lab. Can the crew survive this TOTALLY ROUTINE trip? Will they be able to endure each other for the looooooong trip in close quarters? Gonna be a wild ride... prepare for blast off. Part 1 of the SpaceBois go to Space series

The Thing Is by TSylvestris (E, 56,743 w. || Case Fic, Dev. Rel., Anal/Oral, Blow Jobs, Meddling Mycroft, Drama, Romance, Humour, Casual Encounters, Pining Idiots, Possessive Sherlock, Orgasm Delay, Rough / Alley Sex, Public Sex, John Whump, Drugged John, Emotional Love Making, Awkward Relationship, Marriage of Convenience, Switchlock) – The problem with living with Sherlock, John thought, was that you never, never, ever knew the significance of anything. Like your flatmate's nose buried in your hair. Whilst you're in bed. Part 1 of Nitroglycerine

One Little Change by jadztone (E, 58,312 w. || ASiB Divergence, Fake Relationship, Bed Sharing, Mutual Pining, Friends to Lovers, First Kiss / Time, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Bi John / Gay Demisexual Sherlock, Switchlock, Alternating POV, Jealousy, Misunderstandings, Case Fic, Angst with Happy Ending, Emotional Love Making, Butt Plugs, Cuddles) – Our story begins right after John and Sherlock's first meeting with Irene Adler in September. It splits off into an AU that imagines them taking a case where they act as bait to hook a killer targeting closeted gays in secret relationships. In the weeks leading up to Christmas, many things happen that have our boys wondering if maybe they have a chance with each other. Then Irene fakes her death on Christmas Eve, and things get a lot more complicated - especially since they still have a killer to catch.

floating through a dark blue sky by Lediona (M, 58,966 w. || Notting Hilll AU || POV John, Celebrity Sherlock, First Date / Time / Kiss, Past Drug Addiction, Angst with a Happy Ending) – Of course, I’d seen his films and always thought he was, well, brilliant -- but, you know, a million miles from the world I live in. Or, when John is the owner of a travel book shop and the famous Sherlock Holmes stops in one day.

The Burning by SrebrnaFH (M, 60,658 w. || Reverse Reichenbach, Suicide, Depression, Hurt Sherlock / John, Separation, BAMF John, Good Big Brother Mycroft, Angst, Implied/Referenced Torture, Fake Character Death, Rescue Mission, Reconciliation / Reunion, Hospitalization, Marriage Proposal, Illnesses, Physical Therapy, Happily Ever After) – Something went very, very wrong. John had seemed, if not happy, then reasonably content with his life. Sherlock had never predicted something like THIS might have happened. Not in his worst nightmares. He was the lousiest friend ever, apparently. At least Mycroft found him something to occupy his mind with, so that he didn't have to go back to 221B and stare at the walls and the chair, where John Watson would never sit again.

This Thing All Things Devours by cypress_tree (E, 63,844 w., 15 Ch. || In Time AU || Science Fiction, Dystopian Universe, First Meetings, Action / Adventure, Romance) – In 2169, time is money—literally. Humans are genetically engineered to stop aging at 25, when the numbers on their arm start counting down from one year. When that time is up, they die. The only way to get more time is to earn it, borrow it, or steal it.John Watson lives day-to-day in the crowded slums of Zone 13. He never imagined living any differently—until he meets the practically-immortal Sherlock, and helps him on a case to track a local time-thief...

The Bells of King's College by SilentAuror (E, 64,019 w., 5 Ch. || Post-S4, Missed Opportunities, Angst with Happy Ending, Fake Relationship, Case Fic, John POV, Jealous John, John in Denial, Travelling / Holidays, Virgin Sherlock, Wedding Proposals) – It's only been two weeks since Eurus Holmes disrupted their lives when Mycroft sends John and Sherlock to Cambridge to pose as an engaged couple at a wedding show in the hopes of solving six unsolved deaths...

Hell Sent, Heaven Bound by ConsultingHound (M, 64,381 w, 16 Ch. || Angels / Demons AU || Fallen Angel Sherlock / Angel Cop John, Alternate First Meeting, Slow Burn, Case Fic, John & Lestrade are Friends Before Sherlock, BAMF John, Mind Palace John, Friends to Lovers, John in Denial, Sherlock Picks Out John’s Clothing, Clubbing / Dancing, Mildly Jealous John, Awkwardness, Kidnapping, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Sacrifice, Worried / Anxious Sherlock, Angst with Happy Ending, Immortal to Mortal) – Ex-War healer and current angelic guard John Watson is not having the best day. He overslept, he’s underpaid, and now there’s someone tagging the Council’s building walls. However things may be about to get interesting: there’s an unusual stranger hanging around (the definition of tall, dark, and handsome), a literal underground cult is brewing, and rumblings are coming from hell. Can he keep his neighbourhood safe, how and why is he being connected to all this, and who the hell is Sherlock Holmes?

White Knight by DiscordantWords (M, 69,840 w., 13 Ch. || S4 Compliant/Post S4, Marriage For a Case, Jealous John, Pining John, Janine / Sherlock Fake Relationship, Serial Killers, Case Fic, Undercover as a Couple, Weddings, John is a Mess, Misunderstandings, Wedding Planning, Jealousy, Drunkenness, Love Confessions, Angst with Happy Ending) – Green. The word green was used to convey a great many things. Illness. Envy. Inexperience. Standing there amidst Janine's chattering bridesmaids, watching Sherlock furrow his brow and study fabric swatches, watching him smile and simper and flirt, John thought it a remarkably apt colour choice. Because he felt quite sick to his stomach, he feared the source of said sickness might very well be jealousy, and he had absolutely no idea at all what to do about it. Or: Sherlock needs to fake a relationship for a case. He doesn't ask John.

Being John Watson-ish by elwinglyre (E, 69,902 w., 17 Ch. || Bodysnatcher AU || Author John, Cranky Sherlock, Angst, Sexual Tension, First Kiss / Time, Falling in Love, BAMF John, Past Soldier John, Feelings, Inside Someone’s Brain, Shy Sherlock, Sherlock Loves John, POV Sherlock, Switchlock, Slow Burn, Internal Dialogue, Mental Turmoil) – When consulting detective Sherlock Holmes steps on one toe too many at a crime scene, he's consigned to a desk job in an archaic office on the seventh-and-a-half floor of the New Scotland Yard. It’s in this bleak office that Sherlock discovers a portal into the mind of renowned author John Watson. Grander than his mind palace, this new wonderland affords Sherlock new vistas of experimentation. To learn more about the mystery behind the portal, Sherlock seeks out and befriends Watson. But then it all goes wrong when others find the secret portal door—including the man whose brain he visits.

Just To Hold You Close by sussexbound (E, 70,841 w., 18 Ch. || Alternate First Meeting, Sherlock POV, ASD Sherlock, PTSD John, Demisexual Sherlock, Bisexual John, Cuddling/Snuggling, Platonic Cuddling, Enthusiastic Consent, Bed Sharing, Love Confessions, First Kiss/Time, Sexual Tension, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Cuddle Negotiations, For a Case Until It Isn’t, Hair Petting, Sexual Negotiation, Anxiety, Trust Issues, Slow Burn, Panic Attacks, Frottage, Hand/Blow Jobs, Referenced Self Harm / Abuse / Suicidal Ideation, First Kiss/Time, Anal) – When a woman is murdered and the last person to see her alive is recently invalided army vet turned reluctant (and prickly) professional cuddler, John Watson, Sherlock Holmes is pulled into a world of intimacy and intrigue he never could have imagined. John is a conundrum and mystery: frank yet reserved, tender yet angry, open yet afraid. Sherlock is instantly drawn into his orbit, and begins to feel and desire things he never has before.

The Vapor Variant by 88thParallel (M, 72,684 w., 18 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Post-THoB, John Whump, Protective Sherlock, Guilty Sherlock, Anxious/Worried Sherlock, Virgin Sherlock, Angst with Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, PTSD John, Slow Burn, Mutual Pining, Suspense, Virus, Sickfic, Big Brother Mycroft) – They stood face to face in the middle of a clearing. The dim light of the moon barely allowed Sherlock to see the glassy terror in John’s eyes and the sweat that glistened off his forehead. His nose was bleeding again, blood dripping in a slow stream from his right nostril. They were both gasping for air, John’s eyes locked on Sherlock’s. There was no recognition there, just wild animal fear. Time stood still for an eternal few seconds, and Sherlock took a shaky breath. “John—”Spell broken, John spun and bolted back into the woods. Still heaving for air, Sherlock took off after him.

Summit Fever by J_Baillier (M, 78,802 w., 18 Ch. || Mountain Climber AU || POV John, Angst, Tragedy, Suicidal Ideation, The Himalayas, Mountain Guide / Doctor John, Mount Climber Sherlock, Loneliness, Drama, Suspense, Slow Burn, Injured Sherlock / Sherlock Whump, Pining John) – After graduating from medical school, John Watson followed his heart to the Himalayas. Ten years later, he's a haunted cynic working for his ex-lover's trekking and mountaineering company. Will leading an expedition to Annapurna I—the most lethal of all the world's highest mountains—shake John out of his reverie, and who is the mystery client added to the group at the last minute?

The Monument of Memory by J_Baillier (M, 79,663 w., 14 Ch. || Post S4 Fix It Fic / S4 is Canon, Angst, Family Drama, Guilt, Case Fic, John Loves Sherlock, Complicated Feelings, Mentalism / Hypnosis, Murder, Grieving John, Sherlock is a Bit Not Good, Team Work, Trust Issues, BAMF John, Psychological Trauma, Protective John, Autistic-Spectrum Sherlock, Parentlock, John POV) – A genius traumatised by a past he's only beginning to recall. The psychopath sister that time forgot. A missing woman and a mentalist who may or may not be a murderer. And, in the middle of it all, stands John Watson.

Thermocline by J_Baillier (M, 83,557 w., 14 Ch. || Scuba Diving AU || Adventure, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Marine Archaeology, Asexual Sherlock, Horny John, Relationship Drama, Technical/Scuba/Wreck Diving, Slow Burn, Underwater / Medical Peril, Doctor John, Hurt Sherlock, Anxious Sherlock, John POV, Protective John, Body Appreciation) – John "Five Oceans" Watson — technical dive instructor, dive accident analyst and weapon of mass seduction — meets recluse professor of maritime archaeology Holmes. As they head out to a remote archipelago off the coast of Guatemala to study and film its shipwrecks for a documentary, will sparks fly or fizzle out?

The Summer Boy by khorazir (T, 94,706 w., 6 Ch. || Post S3/Post TAB/Alternate S4, Friends to Lovers, Flashbacks, Sussex, Bullying, 1980′s Kid Sherlock, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Inexperienced Sherlock, Grief/Mourning, Pining Sherlock, Background Case Fic) – About half a year after the fateful events at Appledore, Sherlock and John embark on a private case in Sussex. For Sherlock, it’s a journey into his past, bringing up memories both happy and sad that he has locked away for almost thirty years. For John, it means coming to terms with the present – and a potential future with Sherlock. Part 1 of the The Summer Boy series

Northwest Passage by Kryptaria (E, 95,157 w., 27 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Canadian AU || BAMF!John, Canadian John, PTSD, Anal / Oral Sex, Rimming, Emotional Hurt / Comfort, Drug Rehab, Falling in Love, Pining Sherlock, Love Confessions, Sherlock’s Violin, Panic Attacks, Switching, Anxious / Protective Sherlock, Hugs for Comfort, Suicide Mentions, Healing Each Other) – Seven years ago, Captain John Watson of the Canadian Forces Medical Service withdrew from society, seeking a simple, isolated life in the distant northern wilderness of Canada. Though he survives from one day to the next, he doesn't truly live until someone from his dark past calls in a favor and turns his world upside-down with the introduction of Sherlock Holmes." Part 1 of Tales from the Northwest

31_Days_of_Porn_Challenge_2017 Series by distantstarlight (E, 96,540 w. across 31 stories || Prompt Ficlets, Assorted Kinks, PWP) – A collection in response to the 31 Days of Porn Challenge issued by AtlinMerrik! Thanks for doing that because this has been buttload of fun (that joke never gets old). All stories will be brief stand-alone one-shots.

The Baker Street Nativity by SwissMiss (E, 99,662 w., 23 Ch. || Nativity! AU || Teacher Sherlock / TA John, Pining, Sherlock POV, UST, Angst, Christmas, Music/Song Fic, Anal / BJ’s, First Kiss / Time) – Fusion between Sherlock (BBC) and Nativity! (2009 movie starring Martin Freeman). Sherlock is a primary school teacher and John is assigned to be his classroom assistant. Together, they are charged with putting on the school's Nativity play. What could possibly go wrong? Part 1 of The Baker Street Nativity Verse

Given In Evidence by verityburns (M, 97,884 w., 19 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Post-TRF, Angst, Drama, Case Fic, Romance, BAMF!John, Submissive Sherlock, First Kiss, Humour) – Coming back from the dead can be a complicated business. With a new case on the horizon, rebuilding a life is one thing... rebuilding a friendship quite another. For Sherlock and John, things may never be just the same...

#steph replies #johnlock fic recs #my fic recs #long fics #50 to 100k #Anonymous #fic rec wednesday #e-rated fics

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yeoldontknow · 3 years

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catch up tag 🌸

tagged by beautiful angels @chillingtae and @yoonia to do this catch up tag. thank you so much loves! i hope you guys are having a happy friday <3 <3

1. what do you prefer to be called name-wise?

kat is fine! i introduce myself to people as kat. if youre using my full name youre either upset with me or a member of my family lmao

2. when is your birthday?

jan 23

3. where do you live?

nyc

4. three things you are doing right now?

working (waiting for one of my systems to load which has been bogged down and super slow lately), listening to my spotify release radar (which is....not great today im disappointed), mentally drafting lines and description for the next hero chapter as im in the mood to write today but im absolutely not in a romantic place lmao

5. four fandoms that have peaked your interest?

uhhh ill list fandoms ive written fanfic for! kpop (obviously), merlin, muse, and supernatural (but like really specifically supernatural seasons 2-5)

6. how has the pandemic been treating you?

i mean....50/50. my company is amazing and i know im super privileged. ive been working from home since the end of february and corporate have been extremely generous (giving us additional time off, mental health days, extending summer fridays until end of 2021, compensating for home office needs, restructuring work from home policies to accommodate parents). i got a bonus in june in place of my raise due to financial tensions but was confirmed for another promotion next year - even was offered a new job, literally straight offered didnt even need to interview, to create my own team in a different department. i have a roof over my head and food on my table. my family is healthy, my parents are retired and safe. like...im so so so grateful.

mentally and emotionally and creatively...i am struggling. a lot of my inspiration for fics comes from being out in the city and observing people and their interactions. even architecture inspires me. the act of moving through a city inspires nearly all of my fics (like..i think everyone can sense that lmao asas is in london, light sakura is tokyo, all quiet is movement through spaces, hero was inspired by a building in harlem). not having that kind of motion and observation has made writing really hard. and also just...the news and the onslaught of hyper-reality. its been utterly daunting and ive found myself completely burned out more this year than ever before. usually my burnout hits during new years or the holidays. ive spent part of summer and part of autumn and literally all of november just...vacant.

so yeah. 50/50

7. a song you can’t stop listening to?

Flexibility of Mind - GRoost

8. recommend a movie?

Summer Wars (2009, hosoda mamoru)

9. how old are you?

10. school, university, occupation, other?

currently employed at a major company in the arts & entertainment industry

11. do you prefer heat or cold?

cold!!!! its so easy to warm up and bundle. who doesnt love cozy socks and hoodies and slippers <3 <3 its so hard for me to cool down in the summer and i hate sweating lmao

12. name one fact others may not know about you?

uhhh i worked in music supervision while getting my masters and the two degrees i have do not necessarily relate to the work i do now lmao

13. are you shy?

i can be. im definitely introverted and find other people to be way, way more interesting than i am. i enjoy listening to people talk about their passions and what interests them, and this also means that i dont say much or say anything at all about myself, really. im not usually the first person to engage in a group or even to introduce myself first to someone unless i get the sense there is someone uncomfortable (with the energy, the topic, the setting, etc) and then i will put myself in a position of leadership to make them feel safe

14. preferred pronouns?

she/her !

15. biggest pet peeves?

people who react rather than respond to criticism or confrontation; people who instigate drama; really loud groups of people on public transportation

16. what is your favorite ‘dere’ type?

i dont believe i have one

17. how would you rate your life from 1-10, 1 being crappy and 10 being the best it could be?

ill say like...8

18. what is your main blog?

this one - yeoldontknow

@yeoldontknowiread is for ficrecs

20. is there something people need to know about you before they become friends?

i can be pathologically secretive in that i dont really talk about myself or what my day has been like or what im up to unless something happens that is exciting or interesting. being an introvert also means that my regard for our friendship will define it as something sacred and i will likely be more devoted (though quietly so) than you might be if youre an extrovert. im really passionate about things and if i sense that you are not as passionate about those same things i will likely not bring them up again unless i feel like you want to hear about it. it might take me a while to respond to texts or messages, but it doesnt mean i love you less. there could be long periods of inactivity in our friendship but if someone else asks me about you i will say i love you and you are special to me and will call you a close friend even if its been years since weve last talked

tagging: @yehet-me-up @kyungseokie @jenmyeons @jamaisjoons @j-pping @yeolville @loeybeans @ditzymax @imdifferentshadesofpurple @red-exo @iris-somnia @inkedtae @yeojaa @hobi-gif @sahmfanficbts @snackhobi @delhyun @yutacrush @nunchiwrites @blackberrykai @kimtaehyunq @jiminiethot and anyone else who wants to do this. i know i tagged a lot of people but really i just want to check in on you and see how youre all doing. as always please only do so if you wish <3

#catch up tag

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rosesvioletshardy · 4 years

Text

life as we know it - b.h. - chapter 6

a/n: this is the shortest time i managed to write a chapter. there are some new characters introduced that will also be mentioned in future chapters. also there’s some drama in this that i think is going to be good. it’s a little shorter than what i originally had planned because i had to take some stuff out but i still hope it’s good

also thank you so much for 50 followers and the picture is what imagine ben wore in the beginning

masterlist

summary: when their two best friends die, it’s up to ben and y/n to take of their goddaughter and the challenges that come with it.

# of words: 3,608

warnings: a little angst, drama, fluff, a little language

taglist: @myfatbottomedgirls, @evemarie05

(message or inbox me if you want to be added to the taglist on this story)

------

a month has passed and so far everything has gone smoothly. ben and y/n have figured out how to work around their schedules. most of the time she had charlie because ben was filming but whenever he wasn’t, he was with her. they moved in and ben had brought frankie with him. at first they were a little hesitant about how she would act around charlie and vice versa but now frankie had become her protector. whenever charlie was napping, frankie would be with her. sean was another problem. he didn’t like the idea of y/n living with ben but he had managed to forget about it because he knew he had her wrapped around his finger by acting like the perfect gentleman and changing his attitude.

they had spent the next month planning the funeral and the only date they managed to get was one the 1 year anniversary of christian and lennon’s wedding or else they had to wait another few months until august and y/n didn’t want to wait that long because she didn’t know if ben would still be filming or if he were going to be taking break. ben advised her to go with it. she had never been more stressed in her life to the point where she falls asleep at random places. ben had noticed her behavior and advised her that she should go see a therapist. she didn’t want to. she didn’t want to talk to anyone about how she feels let alone a stranger, he understood where she was coming from but still encouraged her to go. he couldn’t say the same for him, he did have his bad days and did hide his emotions often.

now y/n was in her room putting finishing touches on charlie. they knew that taking a baby to see their own parents funeral wasn’t the best idea or the right one, but they had no choice. ben was in the bathroom fixing his tie, or at least trying to before getting frustrated and throwing it off and putting his hands on the sink counter. Knowing he needed to calm down, he went downstairs to get some water. on his way he saw her with charlie in her lap rocking her back and forth as charlie played with the ends of her dress. she felt someone staring at her and picked up her head to find ben staring at the both of them

“hey” he whispered

“hi”

ben walked into the room and sat on the bed with them. all three of them sat in complete silence with the occasional noise from charlie. she noticed that ben’s tie still wasn’t tied and decided to do it for him. she sensed that he got frustrated about it with what the day was about. rather than celebrating the marriage of two people, they were now honoring the dead. setting charlie on the bed, she went and stood in front of ben, grabbing his tie and started to tie it.

“why are you helping me?” he asked her looking up

“because i can tell you’re stressed about everything, especially today.” she told him

“it’s just not fair that they-” he started

“that they just had to die. if only they had left a few minutes later then- then we wouldn’t be here having to be going to a funeral. we would be here celebrating their marriage. i-i just-” ben said before he broke down again after y/n finished.

she bent down to his level and took his hands. tears were forming in her eyes and she wanted to cry but she needed to stay strong for all of them

“listen i know that today is hard but we need to stay strong for us, for lennon and christian, and most importantly for charlie. they loved her more than anything in this world. more than their jobs, we owe it to them to keep her with us and make sure she knows who her parents were. there’s a reason they picked us.” she told him tears starting to stream down her face before continuing

“i know today like any other day without them is hard, but we have to do it for her and for them.”

they were both sobbing in each other’s shoulders at his point and didn’t know if they were able to keep it together at the funeral. they invited some people that were friends with all of them, lennon’s parents, and christian’s relatives. they’ve done the viewing and no one could keep it together and now they would have to see the official funeral and bury them.

when they got married, christian and lennon had decided to reserve a spot next to where his parents were for the future but the future came too quick for them. they’ve managed to keep it all together throughout the burial service without crying but a few tears did slip from their eyes as they gave their speeches. y/n wanted to hold ben’s hand and he wanted to hold hers but the only thing that stood in their way was sean. what surprised them the most was charlie not fussing at all since she was being passed back and forth between the two. when it was all over, they went back to the house for the reception where there were a little bit more people including the neighbors and the babysitter.

the night before she had baked a storm to make sure everything was in order and that people felt comfortable. ben looked around and saw everyone giving them the pity eyes and most likely thinking how sad it was for charlie to grow up without parents not knowing that him and y/n were capable of taking care of her. he walked around listening in on their conversations to make sure they weren’t talking ill of them dead because that day wasn’t a day he didn’t want to punch someone.

“that was a beautiful service. i didn’t know that’s how they met.” one of their neighbors, mike said

“the story about paris, that’s when i started to cry.” mike’s wife, amber said as she drank some of the tea that they were serving

“what did happen with the baby? do you know?” she continued

“oh you didn’t hear, or well see?” rachel, another woman who lived near them

“No”

“they named one of their friends. the baker who’s dating christian’s partner from the law firm, and the actor from eastenders.”

“oh yeah, the super hot one that always like looks so good and sweaty. that one” robert said before his husband gave him a look

““good”?” mike said confusingly

“oh interesting. so he’ll be about”

“what do you mean, “good and sweaty?”” zachary, rachel’s husband asked

y/n was walking around to make sure everyone was comfortable and that they were alright before she spotted jack and melissa, lennon’s parents. jack was holding charlie who looked like she was about to pass out any moment now

“thank you guys for helping set up everything. i wouldn’t have been able to do it all without you. how are you guys’ holding up?” she asked them

“no problem sweetie, you were always like another daughter. and if we’re being honest, i think we’re getting better. it is a shock that our daughter is dead and i know we look like we should be crying but i feel like she would get mad at us for crying.” melissa said taking her hand

“how are you holding up? i know you and lennon were closer than anyone else, and putting all of this together and taking care of a child?” jack asked

“i could be better, but like you said lennon would be mad at us for crying. charlie is the best. it took a while but i think she’s used to everything now.” she told them

jack and melissa knew that y/n was struggling but they knew that she could take care of herself and know that they would do anything for her

“it doesn’t have to be this hard. if either you or ben ever feel overwhelmed by even the smallest of things, please don’t hesitate to call. you may be her guardians now but we’re still her grandparents and you’re still our daughter. it doesn’t matter if it’s night here and morning for us or morning here and night for us. we’ll always be there for you.” melissa said taking her other hand

“thank you. i owe you both my life for everything.” she tells them

“and we owe you ours for making sure lennon was always happy. now i think we should take this one for her nap.” jack said as they all looked at charlie slowly closing her eyes

“she has a bottle ready in the fridge and her room is upstairs on the first door on the left.”

“i’ll go with him to make sure he doesn’t mess things up like he did with lennon.” melissa said giving jack a side eye

“that was one time melissa! it was 26 years ago.” jack told her as the two left for the kitchen

while she was talking and making sure everyone was okay, ben was doing the same until he overheard something that he found was rather interesting to him

“well yeah. see if i marry her, i get her business and become an owner as well. which means i can technically do what i want with how she’s running it because she doesn’t want to expand it to more locations even though i told her she will get more income from it.” he heard sean say before continuing

“and plus my sister can profit over it and advertise it more. so, she advertises my sister's company, my sister and my family get more money. i mean it won’t be so hard to do it. i got her wrapped around my finger already by acting like the perfect gentleman” sean finished

“but what about that guy she lives with, the actor, ben?” ryan, another one of christian’s partners ask

“please, my family is worth more than him, my place is worth more than him. he thinks he can charm his way into her life and take her away because they’re taking care of some baby. she should be glad i’m giving her another chance after she practically cheated on me by sleeping with him. i spoil her endless and that’s how she repaid me. bitch. just hope she says yes before i decide to propose to amanda and break it off with her. sometimes i just want to do that but y/n could make me more rich.” sean whispered so that no one could hear him

ben desperately wanted to go punch him in the face but he didn’t want to cause a scene or tell social services that he’s unfit to be a guardian because of his short temper at times. he never understood how people could treat others like garbage and only use them for money. yeah money is great but it doesn’t automatically make you happy all time. money doesn’t exactly buy happiness. he decided to ignore what was going on and tell her when it was the right time and sat down in one of the chairs they had set out for the guests.

she started to walk away and saw ben sitting on one of the chairs with a beer in his hand. as soon as he saw her, he got and they started to walk

“there’s a lot of them.” she said thinking about who should take charlie if they can’t do it or melissa and jack can’t

“listen, we just need to find one and if we can’t, we’ll just give her to lennon’s parents” he told her

ben met one of christian’s cousins, peter, and saw that his kids were running up and down the stairs yelling and throwing things while y/n met with christian’s uncle

“alex-” peter yelled before getting cut off by his wife, patricia

“Mason”

“Mason! take a seat right now. let’s go. eight kids..” he told ben

“eight kids? you guys have eight kids.” ben stuttered out shocked

“nine dear.” patricia said

“nine. right.”

y/n was in the other room with christian’s uncle tom, on the couch seeing that he had an oxygen tank

“it’s really nice for charlie to know everyone and know how much she’s loved.” she tells him showing him a picture

“she looks just like christian.”

“yeah. so you have a house where in the countryside?” she asked

“ashwell, hertfordshire. lovely place and lovely people”

“yes, we were hoping seeing that if her grandparents from her mothers side weren’t to take her-” ben started to explain as he sat down until one of peter’s knocked the oxygen tank over and caused the hose to come off and tom to start coughing

“oh my god.” she started to freak out as ben picked the kid up and turned him around to go to the other side of the room

they managed to get the tank working again and helped tom to stop coughing

“i’m so sorry, he came out of nowhere. are you okay now? Good as new! yay!”

“Still breathing okay.” ben said as him and she started to awkwardly laugh

everyone had left and charlie was laying on ben’s chest playing with his undone tie as him and y/n sat on the corner sofa with their feet up, clearly tired

“well, we could go with the nine kids' family. they know how to keep a child alive.” ben said before talking

“the stripper seemed nice. and the uncle’s a definite no?” he finished

“we’re screwed.” she told him

neither one of them knew what to do at this point and it seemed like jack and melissa were they’re only option which meant charlie will move to a new country. y/n just let out a sigh and put her head on ben’s shoulder and he put his on top of her head.

the following weekend her and ben had their official court hearing which would grant them legal guardianship of charlie. jack and melissa told them before they left that they were making the right decision to take on a big responsibility and knew that they could do it and were going to be at their hearing for support. they got a got from jim telling them about when the court date was and what time it was going to happen. here they now sat in the courtroom listening to other cases before theirs was called. ben and y/n were dressed formally but in a casual way to make sure that they knew what the setting was and show that they are responsible.

“the next case, the matter of charlotte wakes, index number 05893-01.” they heard as jim told them to follow him

“alright. i’ve read your submissions, along with the will.” the judge began before continuing as ben and her began to sit down before jim told them to stay standing

“given that you were named as guardians, i see no reason to countermand the parents’ wishes. However, permit-” before charlie threw her toy on the ground and continued to fuss

“until that time, i hereby grant joint legal and physical custody of charlotte lucia wakes to y/n l/n and benjamin jones” she finished

“th-that’s it? You’re not going to ask us anything? how do you know we’re not drug dealers or pimps?” ben asked as jim began to escort them out

y/n gave out a worried and laugh nervously before the judge took her glasses off and asked them

“i’ve seen your work mr. jones and i’ve been to your bakery miss l/n, and i’m sure but are you drug dealers or pimps?”

“no, ma’am. no” y/n said as she gave a look to ben

as they left the room, jack and melissa gave a final hug to the two and charlie before leaving for their flight

“congratulations you’re parent’s now! i know this isn’t how you guys wanted it to be but it’s going to be fun. i guess we better head out now if we want to make it to the airport now. please don’t hesitate to call us with any questions about anything. we know you both can do this.” jack said, hugging the both of them before melissa came to give y/n a hug. as she hugged her she whispered something into her ear

“don’t let him go, this one. he seems like a really good guy and a keeper. good luck” she said giving her one hug

y/n and ben waved a goodbye to them and they walked off and jim started to talk

“well you guys did it. you are now the legal guardians. i have another case in an hour so i’ll see you guys soon and if you have any questions regarding any of this or lennon and christian, don’t be hesitant to call.” jim told them before leaving for another case

“well we’re officially parents now i guess.” ben said as they walked down the halls

“it’s official, now we have a lot to learn more than we already know.”

“yup”

they left and went back home and got charlie’s stroller and put her in it. they realized that the day was nice so they walked down to y/n’s bakery for lunch. what they didn’t know was paparazzi started to take pictures of the two from a distance showing off ben’s private life now. if the pictures decided to run, who knows what would happen. questions would start to be asked during press tours and if they found out who y/n was her shop would be crowded and as much as she wanted that, she preferred the way it is now. it would also be good for charlie’s safety.

when they entered it was a little more busy than usual but that’s how they liked it. they found a table and y/n went to grab one of the high chairs they provided. on her way back, tyler came out of the kitchen with a new tray of their lemon tarts before spotting her. he quickly put them in the display case and yelled her name

“Y/N!”

she set the chair down in between her and ben before turning around and seeing tyler and hugged him

“hey how are you? i’m sorry i haven’t been coming in so much and only calling in to check in.” she told him

“it’s fine. don’t worry you had a lot on your plate and personal things to deal with. come back at your own time. is this them?” he asked pointing to ben and charlie

“hi i’m tyler, the co-head baker here. y/n has told me a lot of about you.” he told ben shaking his hand

“let me guess, she complained to you about me? ’m ben, this is charlie, and this furry monster is frankie” ben told him scratching frankie’s ear

“yeah pretty much. i take it you guys got custody?” tyler asked

“yeah about an hour ago it became official.” y/n told him

“wow well i know you’ll guys be great at this.” he said before continuing

“well it was nice to see you again and meet you but i have to head back to the kitchen. i’ll bring you guys some stuff out. don’t worry”

“thanks tyler, it feels nice to be back here.” she said

“he’s nice. i like him. how’d you meet him here?” ben asked

“well he told me he was on vacation here but he decided he didn’t want to go back to delaware so he decided to stay here. i was just starting out after finishing university with lennon’s help, we got this place and got everything set up. tyler came here asking if we were hiring and the rest is practically history. i gave him his break here and he’s been like a brother to me.” she told him as tyler then came out with a tray full of desserts, sandwiches, some coffee, some mashed bananas for charlie, as well as their pet friendly treats for frankie

“tyler you really shouldn’t have.”

“no exceptions. you’ve done enough for me and now you both deserve some of the best food here.”

“fine, thank you.” she told him

“alright. i’ll see you guys later. bye”

“Bye”

“thanks mate”

y/n got out charlie’s bib and put it around her. she looked at ben to see what his reaction would be to one of their sandwiches. as soon as he bit into it, he felt like he was in a whole ‘nother world.

“wow. that is a good sandwich, holy fuck. shit, sorry.” he said as he saw y/n watching him

“it’s good isn't it?” she asked him giving charlie some of the bananas

“yeah it really is”

the three continued to eat and play before it was time for charlie’s nap. they put her back in the stroller and cleaned up the table before they left. she made a mental note to pay her employees extra for their help and dealing with all of it. when ben and y/ went home, they let frankie off her leash and she went to her bed. ben took charlie from and decided to put her to sleep for once. when he came back downstairs, he saw y/n sitting on the couch with a beer bottle in her hand and another one on the table. he went and picked it up and sat down next to her.

“well, to parenthood.” he said

“to parenthood” she said as they clinked bottles

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dippedanddripped · 3 years

Link

Debbie Harry doesn’t believe in harbouring regrets. “I have made many, many errors, but nobody leads a perfect life,” she reflects down the telephone from New York. “So, should I regret anything? No. It is a waste of time. It really is a waste of time.”

Dial back to the turn of the 70s and the life that Harry led before fronting Blondie – prior to her image being burned onto the retina of popular culture – was colourful to say the least. “I was so desperate to live life,” she says of her time spent hanging with the outcasts and artists of downtown New York. “I was jamming in as much experience as I possibly could and I don’t know if I could have done anything differently. I learned a lot.”

The old Bowery music venue CBGBs has long passed into music folklore as the place that called the likes of Television, Patti Smith, and the Ramones their house bands. It was also where punk and new wave progenitors Blondie cut their teeth before they sashayed into the wider world with the protean panache that would make them a household name. Classic singles such as “Heart of Glass”, “Call Me”, “Atomic”, and “Rapture” have been responsible for more worldwide rug-cutting than an industrial carpet tool. To imply that they were merely a solid singles band is to do them a cardinal disservice, however.

And although they’ve always cocked their attention to the things ahead of them, Harry and her Blondie cohorts have spent a lot of time looking back just lately. Harry’s long-awaited autobiography, Face It, hit the shelves last year, and Blondie co-founder and one-time partner Chris Stein published Point of View: Me, New York City, and the Punk Scene, a photography book featuring personal snaps taken during the band’s pomp in the 70s and early 80s. “We can’t keep on touring and doing club dates the way that we used to. It would be physically impossible,” Harry concedes. “Living through this pandemic has certainly made us take a long look at the value of what we’ve got with our body of work.” Asked if it is a process of attempting to frame their legacy, she admits it’s something that they “have to do”.

This deep-dive into their canon has culminated in a mouth-watering archive set, Blondie: Against the Odds 1974-1982, slated for release next year. Coming in four formats, it promises to include extensive liner notes, “track by track” commentary by the entire band, a photographic history plus rare and unreleased bonus material. The group will also go out on the road – coronavirus permitting – for an autumn Against the Odds UK tour with Garbage.

The artist born Angela Trimble was put up for adoption only a few months after she was ushered into the world in the summer of 1945. A loving New Jersey couple took her in, rechristened her Deborah Harry, and raised her as their own. She grew up in a suburb that she “never left”, was voted best-looking girl in her high school yearbook, and oscillated within a social circle that consisted of “many of the same people” throughout her childhood. “I was somehow shy within that,” she recalls, “(but) somebody once said to me that being shy was an ego trip and a light went on in my head. I thought, ‘Oh, uh-huh, let’s have none of that!’”

Harry travelled by bus as a curious teen to nearby Greenwich Village, imbibing the febrile inner-city atmosphere. In 1965, she graduated from junior college with an associate of arts degree and New York’s allure became too enticing to resist. She decamped to the bright lights of the city and made ends meet with a succession of odd jobs, including secretarial work for the BBC, waiting tables and an infamous nine-month stint as a Playboy Bunny.

The period was a traumatic one, too, with Harry enduring an ex-lover-turned-violent-stalker and a near-miss with serial killer Ted Bundy (although Bundy’s identity is contested by others). In her memoir, she writes candidly of the time she was raped by a man wielding a knife while on her way home from a concert with Stein. Music offered a vessel for her creativity, and she spent time as part of girl group The Stilettoes and folk ensemble Wind in the Willows before her meeting with guitarist Stein which set the foundations for Blondie. Their classic lineup was completed by Gary Valentine (bass), Jimmy Destri (keys), and Clem Burke (drums).

“Somebody once said to me that being shy was an ego trip and a light went on in my head. I thought, ‘Oh, uh-huh, let’s have none of that’” – Debbie Harry

Although they self-identified as punks, the parochial and nihilistic mandate as promulgated by the genre’s militant diehards never fit Blondie comfortably. The group looked outwards from the moment they started, drawing inspiration from their cosmopolitan city. Their sound was a melting pot pulling at the seams of culture’s fabric, and they would weave their own patterns from it.

Harry agrees that their eclecticism was down to good fortune in coming from the “metropolitan area of New York” where they ingested “a lot of musical influences”. Taken as a whole, their catalogue bears this out. Blondie never stood still musically – yet never sounded like anyone else – and they loaded their songs with more hooks than a fisherman’s trawler. 1976’s punchy, eponymous debut married surf-rock textures with 50s girl-group sensibilities, and their palette had expanded exponentially by the time of seminal third album, Parallel Lines (1978). Eat to the Beat and Autoamerican followed, by which point they could boast flirtations with disco, rocksteady, funk, hip hop, and more within their enviable output.

When asked to pick one track that encapsulates the essence of Blondie, Harry opts for their 1981 US number one single “Rapture”. “What happens in ‘Rapture’ is very comprehensive,” she says. “It took a form of music that was, or still is, very modern and can be very political. Rap and hip-hop songs back then didn’t have their own songs. Rappers would just rap on somebody else’s music. (‘Rapture’) was crafted specifically for that rap. Until then that hadn’t been done. It was a breath of fresh air.” It stands as one of the things in her career that she feels “very good about”.

Blessed with the sort of features that could sell sand to the Saharans, Harry’s appearance caused a stir from the band’s earliest days. “That’s part of showbiz,” she says to me, trying to downplay it. “We always had an eye for that, the entire band. We always had an idea of making a look that represented our sensibilities and links to British pop and mod.” Maybe so, but it was Harry alone who was immortalised by Andy Warhol in one of his iconic silkscreen prints, and who posed for era-defining photographers including Robert Mapplethorpe and Anne Leibowitz.

Did the disproportionate attention she attracted ruffle feathers within the Blondie camp at the time? “Yes and no,” Harry remembers. “We were all happy that it was working. I suppose there was a certain amount of competition or jealousy but ultimately, no. I think that’s a better question for Clem or one of the other members in the band. Of course my relationship with Chris was so close that he was very happy about everything.”

The band’s wheels eventually came off after their muddy and unfocused sixth album, The Hunter, dashed against the commercial rocks in 1982. They had to abandon their subsequent tour after Stein became gravely ill with a rare autoimmune disorder, pemphigus vulgaris, that proved extremely difficult to diagnose. Blondie had no option but to bow out of the public eye, and they broke up quietly.

15 years later, with Stein fully recovered, the group reconvened and released a critically acclaimed and commercially successful comeback album, No Exit. They even topped the UK charts with lead single “Maria”, but faced tussles with erstwhile members at the time too. Former bassist and co-writer on “One Way or Another”, Nigel Harrison, and guitarist Frank Infante attempted to sue the rest of the band over their omission from the reformed lineup. And when Blondie were inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 2006, Infante grabbed the microphone to express his ire publicly.

Fast-forward to 2020 and the settled iteration of the band are working on a new album with John Congleton, who produced 2017’s Pollinator. Does Harry have a formula when it comes to songwriting these days? No, as it happens. “When a phrase or a sentiment makes me respond emotionally or physically, I write it down and I save it,” she explains. “At a certain point, I’ll sort of review things. A lot of times I like to just work with a rhythm track. Just a drumbeat or some kind of drone-y rhythm, a groove. Other times people will give me a rough sketch of some chord changes – an idea that they’ve got. I seem to work in a lot of different ways.”

Thanks to her effortless chic and timeless looks, Harry’s relationship with the fashion industry has been a mutual love-in since forever, and she recently announced a revival of her partnership with ethical fashion designers Vin + Omi – the duo responsible for her profane ‘STOP FUCKING THE PLANET’ cape worn at the Q Awards in 2016 and throughout Blondie’s Pollinator tour. They have teamed up for a new sustainable clothing line entitled HOPE, and her enthusiasm for the project is palpable. “I love Vin + Omi,” she says. “They are so creative and adventurous. They have this desire to prevail and do things that are smart and modern in terms of recycling and making energy count. I think that is brilliant.”

As a fledgling bee-keeper, the plight of the bees is also something close to Harry’s heart. It was one of the reasons why 2017’s Pollinator was, well, named exactly that. “You’re either being stung by a bee or you’re going to eat its honey,” she chuckles softly, marvelling at the absurdity of the contrast. “But bees and water are two issues we cannot escape from. We should be concerned with finding better ways of living, using our resources in the best way possible.”

Help is coming, she hopes, through the election of Joe Biden, who is “firmly attached” to the idea of helping the environmental cause – and she believes his ideas can help the economy, too. “I’ve been saying for quite a long time that solar and wind power are renewable (energies) that can create jobs,” she says. It’s a far cry from her feelings towards outgoing President Trump and his “daily infusion of bullshit” and “thunderstorm of endless diatribes”.

“One of the most exciting things about rock’n’roll was that it was about breaking the rules, and (‘WAP”) is certainly a part of that. It’s titillating and aggressive and it is part of what is exciting about popular music. The nature of what we try to do is to shock and entertain at the same time” – Debbie Harry

What strikes you when you speak to Harry for an extended period is not only her warmth, but her unexpected humility for someone so staggeringly famous. I reference a Bob Dylan BBC interview from the 80s in which he observed with sadness how his fame had the ability to change a room’s energy and how he missed seeing people act naturally around him. She paws the comparison away, saying she’s nowhere near famous “to the degree of Bob Dylan”, whom she calls “such a megastar”. This could sound like false modesty coming second-hand, but in person it feels like a sincere statement, even if it is a little bewildering coming from an international icon. She will concede, however, that she has “definitely noticed and felt something like that” and has often wished she could simply be “a fly on the wall”.

There is also an inquisitiveness that makes the conversation a more two-way affair than your quote-unquote typical ‘interview’. She fires questions back at you, not as a deflection tactic, but to expand and explore a topic further. This happens when conversation turns to Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion’s ubiquitous “WAP”. A recent interview had her fangirling over the track, but Harry’s feelings no longer appear to be as clear-cut and she wishes to discuss the song further. “I love it and hate it at the same time,” she now shares. “One of the most exciting things about rock’n’roll was that it was about breaking the rules, and (‘WAP’) is certainly a part of that. It’s titillating and aggressive and it is part of what is exciting about popular music. The nature of what we try to do is to shock and entertain at the same time.” She pauses. “I don’t know. Everything is revealed and maybe sexual explicitness has come of age.”

Pushed about what she dislikes about “WAP”, she says she would “hate it” if any young girl or woman was hurt by the song’s message. “I think that, in a way, men have to know that women think like this, and that there is this component,” she says, “but I would hate it to mean that everyone should be treated like this. I don’t think anybody should be hurt by sex”.

Harry has long championed the LGBTQ+ communities. When she refers to her dearly departed friend and Hairspray co-star Divine as a ‘drag queen’ in Face It, she acknowledges the term in some instances is no longer accurate or politically correct. I suggest that it can often seem as though the evolution of our language is speeding up in the digital age – by necessity, of course – and ask her if online culture fills her with concern when it comes to using the right terms. “Yeah, (because) in many cases it can be a slip of the tongue, especially for an old dog like me! Things do move so very, very quickly. It is hard to keep up,” she observes. “Fortunately, I have a lot of godchildren!”

Speaking of younger generations, Harry likes to think she’d have coped with social media if she were coming up today, but is thankful that she had her “dark cocoon” in which to “bloom out of”, a place where she was able to “ripen”. “When you’re under the harsh glare of constantly being analysed, that shapes you whether you want it to or not,” she says. “It’s a germ or a seed that’s planted in your mind. It can take surprising turns and it can affect your growth. For good or for worse, who knows?”

“When you’re under the harsh glare of constantly being analysed, that shapes you whether you want it to or not. It’s a germ or a seed that’s planted in your mind. It can take surprising turns and it can affect your growth” – Debbie Harry

One thing that remains is her fierce level of self-criticism. “I always want to do better,” she declares matter-of-factly. “I’ve always been very critical of everything. I hear things or look at them and say, ‘Oh God, it should have been that (instead).” Maybe this hypercritical inclination is what still drives her forward. “I honestly don’t like resting on my laurels. I like working and I like creating. I always beat myself up about not being more creative or more prolific.”

When looking at the bounty of projects she has lined up, no one in their right mind could put Debbie Harry and laurel-resting in the same sentence. Aside from the new album, archival set and fashion project, the paperback edition of her autobiography will be released with a brand-new epilogue in April of next year. (Just don’t ask her what’s in it – “I don’t remember what I wrote. I’ll have to look it up!” she says with a laugh.)

The signs are that the musician is done looking into the rear-view mirror, though. Time may be passing, the tide may be higher, but Debbie Harry is doing more than merely holding on. Her eyes are locked to the future and she’s positively thriving.

Blondie: Against the Odds 1974-1982 will be released next year; Face It is out now via Harper Collins

#debbie harry #blondie #Vin + Omi #ethical fashion #explicitness #music blog

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reddogf13 · 4 years

Text

Crossing fates web ch 1

Pennywise x Beverly

summery: Beverly's life had drastically changed since childhood. claws, sharp teeth, the urge to devour human meat. a aggressive clan of vampires trying to claim her forcing her to flee from LA back to Derry for a save haven. where something else has awakened to the sensation that a female deadlight had arrived. a web of coincidences from their pasts have the two questioning fate.

status: In progress

rated: M - fowl language and gore

previous chap: None

next chap: Crossing fates web ch 2

_____________________________________

~ch:1 Two of a kind~

Beverly shivered under the street light alone in a dark alley. Blood covering her face dripping down to land on the body beneath her extended claws. The hunger inside had fought to the surface when a man tried to drag her away someplace unknown. The first slash of her claws spilt the blood that drew out her fangs. Mauling into his chest to swallow down the meat. Getting his heart down by the time she regained control.

She sighed in taking in a few more bits of meat. Stomach unsure of if it wanted the food or not. Or maybe it was mainly her gag reflex doing the rejecting. Stopping after half the body was stripped of meat. Licking her hands of blood as her claws retracted. Her life had drastically changed these past 7 years and she had no idea why. By the end of high school she noticed the desperate hunger inside began to creep out.

She thought something was wrong at first with her never ending stomach. Moving from Derry to be closer to a specialist hospital in LA. Doctors did test after test and best they could come up with was Prader-Willi syndrome, a constant need to eat. They gave her various medications with schedule therapy visits to try and handle her condition. None of it helped and it only got painfully worse. She felt sick all the time and weak to the point it was as if she was starving herself despite eating large meals all the time. Hoping something would settle the clawing hunger of her body.

Meals went down and felt like it immediately vanished into thin air. Her hunger wanted something more then steak. More then the eventual glasses of blood she chugged down. These cravings scared her the most until she made her first kill. Those cravings were now the least of her worry's. Having killed a man who she went out on a date with. After a dinner date he drove them to a dark secluded make out point. The date going sour when he turned forceful for sex until she lashed out in a panic. This was the first time she discovered her claws as well as the first time she discovered her teeth.

Her sharp long razor teeth latched onto the boys throat. Blacking out to the strong scent of blood filling the air. Mind coming to in a car coated in blood and his body mostly eaten sitting by. Her clothes soaked in the rotten blood mixed with meat bits. Despite her extreme disgust for her actions she realized the hunger was finally gone. She cried in that bloody car, not from fear, but of relief that her body was no longer starving.

She dumped him and his car into a lake out in the middle of nowhere. Burned her clothes to ashes with the hopes that no other evidence would be linked to her. A while after that things got better, somewhat. Her college acceptance letter to a nearby school had arrived, for one. She wasn't about to let some illness destroy her dreams of working in fashion. Still in the back of her mind was the death of her date just a few weeks ago.

Energy swarmed her body, the hunger gone, and she was getting a lot of attention. Not necessarily the bad kind she was used to. Men were constantly trying to talk to her for a possible date. rather then stare or outright asking for a blow job behind a dumpster. Girls were no longer glaring or whispering rumors about her. Instead they were constantly trying to invite her to party's around campus. At first she denied them all out of fear shed be treated to a Carrie prom scene reenactment. Along with the dreadful feeling she shouldn't bother and why was she even bothering with school after a murder.

A couple weeks later she got a knock on the door by a couple detectives. Questioning her all about the mans disappearance and that she was last seen with him on a date. Each question she lied through her teeth in fear of being caught. And just like that, they suddenly dropped all interest in her. It was as if every lie she told was taken as the most honest golden truth. The detectives never returned nor did any sign of a police investigation around her. The mans death was never reported with only missing posters of him set up. As if the body they found was forgotten.

Unfortunately that wave of good fortune had to end. The hunger returned a few months after those detectives visited. Exhaustion worsening each day until it was all too painful again. She had to eat, she had to stop the excruciating hunger. But she couldn't kill again, could she? But she did eventually. Preying on various drug dealers who orbited the college. The ones not only selling things like cocaine, but the extreme date drugs. Beverly had no remorse for devouring these disgusting individuals who didn't care what happened to girls at party's. Each time after some detective or officer would come to question her. After years of this she got used to it as a routine.

She waits until the hunger is too much to bare. She commits to a victim to hunt in the night. Police eventually come and shes ready to give an excuse. If they could be called that anymore after realizing they would accept anything. She could say they only passed on a street and security cameras were wrong and they'd believe her. Then she'd be set for almost a month before restarting the cycle again.

Years have passed and she was now 23 years old. Her routine slowly turning more disrupted by strange urges. Sleeping on a regular bed wasn't an option anymore. She preferred some tight space that had her sleeping in a hammock. Wanting to aimlessly wander around town to look over things that normally wouldn't matter to her. Seeing if her local coffee shop was in good condition or if a particular tree was untouched by town maintenance. If something changed it agitated her for a while before getting used to it.

The next was a particular appetite increasing during certain parts of the year. Wanting to date various men to bring home for a bit of fun. It annoyed her that she was practically bringing all those horrible rumors alive, but what was worse was the urge. Wanting to sleep with someone to lessen that ache between her legs that kept her up for weeks until it died down on its own. As if she wasn't exhausted enough between her drastic fastings.

When these cycles started she developed a strange tugging at her chest. As if some instinct was calling her to travel someplace far. She thought it was weird and silly, so she ignored it. What could possibly be at the end of that line? And how far was it? If she had to cross the ocean there would be no chance of her to visit. Around this same time she had caught the unwanted attention from a particular old man.

After one of those exhausting urges died down for the year she was attacked by an unknown person. A bite to the neck being done before they fled. She was pissed, but thought nothing else of it until weeks later when the attacker returned. She was relaxing after home work when he suddenly appeared in her living room. It was he middle of the night and she was horrified to see some strange man had gotten into her apartment.

“you're body hasn't changed at all?” his voice and appearance startling her.

“get the fuck out!” she roared, teeth shifting to something sharp when she was angry. Nails threatening to extend for a fight.

“i am not here to fight. I want peace between us, a bond.” his smooth voice not at all calming her.

She wanted him gone and threateningly snarled at him to “back away!”

ignoring her frightening change in appearance. “you fought off my bite. I didn't realize there was a bit more to you.” the man much older then she was, looking to be in his mid 50s to early 60s. Wearing a dark suit and red tie.

“what the fuck are you talking about?! Get out of here!”

“i wanted you to be by my side as queen of the clan.” he boosted, making him all the more annoying to her. “me and my large family are all vampires. I've been looking for a mate and you luckily caught my eye.” explaining proudly. “ive had not seen such a lovely girl in centuries. Especially not one with such fabulous red hair.” trying to touch a lock on her head that had her leaning back in revulsion.

“lucky me.” voice dripping in disgust. “i don't give a fuck what you want you creepy old pervert!” bearing her sharp teeth at him in readying for a fight.

her words bruising his ego. “stupid girl! I could give you anything you want and you show your teeth at me?!”

the memory of that old vampire still filled her with rage. Since that day he never really took no as an answer. Harassing her to join his clan every night. Throwing insults every time she refused. It was getting more serious then that as he left her “gifts” of dead pets in her house. She was sure that if she had any close friends they would be threatened for leverage against her. Thinking of that satanic man seeming to have called him to appear.

“oooh, if it isn't my love out for a midnight meal.” that smooth voice knotted her stomach.

She thought “speak of the devil.” in facing him, claws at the ready. Growling through her bared teeth still coated by blood. “what do you want?!”

“you're making this awfully difficult my sweetie girl.”

“don't call me that! I told you I wont join your fucking clan.”

his happy face changing to a disapproving frown. “if you know whats good for you, you'll come home with me.”

“i will never go anywhere with you. You're a disgusting creep who can burn under the sun!”

“if you don't bite your tongue, you're going to be awfully sorry.” snarling through his own sharpened teeth. Making a mistake in grabbing Beverlys arm. She lashed out to claw deeply into his face, forcing him to let go.

She fled back to her dorm as the vampire shouted threats behind her. “you'll regret everything! I'll make you my bitch by next season!” his shouts echoing across the night.

After that and through the day things went by normally. Boring classes, guys trying to hook up in between, more boring classes that went into the night.

She should have taken his warning more seriously. He was so aggressively persistent she should have seen it coming. The carnage that night as the college was swarmed by his clan. It started with the fire alarms being pulled. All the exits blocked by carefully placed flames. Then the clan invaded through the roof to slaughter each human they came across. Students ripped apart left and right to further block the burning halls with corpses.

Floors covered by a thin layer of blood Beverly fled over. Afraid of all the times she slipped in the slick blood would make it her last mistake. she was attacked by a few vampires who didn't care who she was. Forcing her to fight bodies away left and right to flee somewhere away from the growing flames. Making her way to the roof where she jumped off to slam into a nearby tree. Claws preventing her from losing her grip upon climbing down. She looked over the red view of her college burning to the ground after a massacre of its attendees. This vampire stalking her was no longer a nuisance, he was a serious threat. She saw no choice but to runaway someplace safe.

Rushing home covered in blood mixed ash she didn't take the time to wash off at the dorm. Shoving all her important belongings into what bags she could carry. Scrounging for what money she loosely collected around the dorm room. Throwing her stuff into her car to drive straight out of town. Refusing to stop for a moment before the sun covered the land providing safety from that vampire and his clan. Sun touching her skin she pulled over to the side of the empty long highway. Stepping out to sit in silence to regather herself. Breaking down into a sobbing mess when it all hit her.

So many she knew were now dead and burned to ashes. She could never go back there, but where would she go now? She had no one, not even her childhood friends the losers. Having lost contact with them after she moved to her aunts after the incident with her dad and … IT. A vision of that clowns jaws opening to a blinding orange light had her shaking her head. Drying her tears away in regathering herself she sat outside her car for a little while longer. she at first ignored the strange sensation of tugging that was always there, but eventually she payed attention.

“... may as well go. What have I got to lose?” rubbing her eyes of left over tears. Grabbing a half filled water bottle to clean as much gunk as she could off her. Didn't want to be pulled over a blood and ashen mess. Stepping back into her car for a drive she expected to be long.

And it was. Crossing into state after state driving through days and nights before stopping at a motel. The tugging sensation providing her with a satisfied feeling of being so close to her final destination. Another part of her worried about the vampires following. She didn't know how far they could travel during the night. It was part of why she skipped stopping a few nights to keep driving. At this point her body couldn't push on any longer through its starving exhaustion. All this stress greatly depleted herself back into feeling the hunger.

A ordered pizza wouldn't work for a quick road stop meal. She needed someone and she wasn't in LA anymore with drug dealers galore at every corner to prey on. Staying up late with an alarm set for early morning she knocked out right away. Waking from the alarm blaring while feeling no different then when she went to bed. Hopping into a cold shower that she hoped would wake her, was in vain. Checking out to her car when he arrived hiding not to far under the shade of a small tree.

“my, you've gotten really far since we last flirted.” the old vampire teased.

“stay away from me!” avoiding him to get in the car. Thankful he couldn't do anything with so much sunlight keeping him from stepping closer.

He laughed as she drove away in a hurry. “you cant run my sweet!” he shouted after her, ready to meet her the next time she stopped again.

A couple more days through a few more states had her seeing the vampire more often. It didn't matter how long she drove he would be waiting for her at the next gas station. For the entire trip he had a calm demeanor until she got on one particular lone road. Stopping at a gas station someplace she didn't even know where anymore. Following that tugging in her chest in full confidence that she'd be safe at its end. Judging by the vampires reaction that may just be the case. Or the exact opposite from what he said to her.

Confronting her in the night at the gas station she was forced to refuel at. “do you know where you're going?! Do you want to die?!” he yelled at her, pointing down the road she was taking. “you cant go that way!” desperate to catch her he lunged in grabbing her.

She fought against him with the fear she would lose this time. She didn't have nearly the energy she used to states ago. She hadn't slept in half a week nor did she properly eat. She lashed out repeatedly with her claws until he was forced to let go. Looking like he got into a brawl with a large cat. Free of his grasp she drove the car off without even taking the gas pump out. The thing broken off in her escape from the station.

“It'll kill you!” she heard him shouting, but didn't care after all the other things he shouted at her.

Driving the last few hours of her trip when she arrived to some small town. That tugging feeling lifted to leave behind a great satisfaction. on top of a burst of energy, but now what? The vampire didn't like the place so maybe she was safe? Time to at least find a place to sleep, get some food and figure more out tomorrow. Parking her car at a holiday inn where she managed to check into a room late. Sighing at her pitiful wallet almost empty after such a long road trip.

Unloading all her stuff into the place she rented for a few nights. Walking back out to a diner she saw was somehow still open late in the night. Soon as she entered the door one agitated waitress walked up to say something, but at the sight of Beverly she stayed quiet for a second in concern.

“just you? Would you like a coffee?”

“yes and yes.” Beverly replied. Following the waitress to a front counter table. Guessing from the girls reaction she was sure she looked awful. She definitely felt like it and thought that, “that was the only reason they didn't shoo me away.” the diner empty aside from staff. A nice cup of coffee given as she sent in her order of a hefty meal. Steak sided by mashed potatoes and gravy. A basket of fried chicken with mixed vegetables. And a burger sided by fries. Drinking her coffee to somewhat wake as food was prepared. Choking it down at the sight of their napkins saying “Derrys number one diner four years running!”

“fuck, back in Derry?” she thought. “Didn't think I'd end up back here. Why? Some freaky homesick reasons?” rolling her eyes at not recognizing her destination sooner. Tired brain focusing on her coffee mostly to pass the time before food.

She didn't properly consider why she was pulled here.

The secret reason deep below Derry in a slumber that had been going on these past 7 years. The deadlights awakening to the call of another entering its territory. A precious rare female that even in slumber it couldn't possibly pass up the opportunity to court. “a female?” its voice rousing from slumber. “here in my little old Derry on earth? Cant be.” the creature questioning its senses. “i haven't seen a female in billions of years.”

recalling the last time he courted another of his species. Those instances never turned out well in the long run. Something he envied of these puny humans was their ability to stay as a couple. Females of his kind were extremely picky, one mistake had you permanently off their potential mate list. He had succeeded in courting them, creating egg clutches together, only for it to fall apart then. Eggs dying had the females seeing his life force not strong enough to pass on. Separating each time despite every other coupling of his species having the same problems. It had gotten bad enough that their species was on the brink of extinction. Females unwilling to accept one male that wasn't seen as perfect in every way.

He wanted a mate so badly or at least another of his kind to share company with. He even tried creating his spawn without a female. Possible, but extremely hard to pull off compared to the coupling way. Each one of those a depressing failure. Now though, a female was here possibly a young one from a egg clutch that managed to live. She was here, most likely interested in him as she traveled across dimensions to this specific spot in the universe. He would be fresh to her and maybe her standards wouldn't be too high. Fearing that his damaged deadlights would get him automatically rejected.

He didn't realize what had happened until after the fight with those kids. The annoying brats who called themselves the losers club. At some point a chunk of his dead lights were gone. Which he worried about as he should have felt them die off, but he felt nothing from them as if they were snipped away. A clean cut without more in the cluster damaged or weakened. After the shock of seeing them missing it didn't matter much. His cluster patched up that empty space to be like new again, but still. A female could notice a patch job of new vs old clusters. A injured male did not have a strong enough life force.

One way to find out as he formed a hand to stretch out of the well. Gloved white with ruffles at the wrist leading to silver silk. His favorite form of Pennywise the dancing clown crawling out of the well. Making sure he looked proper and healthy before heading out to find the female gracing his town.

Meanwhile Beverly had eaten all of the food she ordered. Pessimistically staring down at the empty plates that offered nothing against her hunger. Placing a huge tip to the poor staff who would have to clean all the dishes before closing. Her wallet empty now that shed have to figure something out tomorrow for a job. Walking back to the hotel she passed down a alley way without noticing a figure waiting for her to pass.

A young boy jumping her to shove a knife at her throat. “give me your money!”

Beverly stood calm, partially because she was too exhausted to deal with this. “kid, go home. I don't have any money.

The boy was maybe thirteen wearing a denim jacket with the sleeves ripped off. A bandanna over his mouth, white tshirt, and baggy ripped jeans slightly covering his fancy tennis shoes he may have stolen from someone or somewhere.

“give me your wallet!”

“i don't have anything!” she repeated.

“you gotta have jewelry! That jacket expensive?!”

invading her personal space too much she snapped at him with sharpened teeth. “get back! I told you there's nothing! I am broke!” the last straw was when he grabbed at her coat. Claws out to slash across his chest to get him away. He backed away, but the damage was done with the scent of blood filling her mouth with drool. Holding herself back proven useless after the hunger took over. Blacking out for some amount of time. Stomach full of real food she came too over the boys half eaten body.

“fuck.” she tiredly sighed. Guilt hitting her heart at killing someone so young even if he did want to mug her. Usually she ate a bit more from her kills, but not this time with it turning her stomach. Sitting down to drop her head into her arms to take a moment of silence. Unaware of her surroundings to notice the clown, she once faced, approaching.

He too was distracted by the thoughts in his mind that he didn't notice it was thee Beverly marsh. “there she is.” watching her sit by a meal she was eating. “must not be doing too well if shes eating out in the open.”

females preferred taking their meal someplace safe to eat in privacy. He knew if they didn't they could be too ill for the physical work of dragging away prey. He thought of how best to approach her if she was sick. It was already rude to encroach on their space while they ate a meal. More so if they were sick and couldn't afford to skip one. “i could fetch her more as a presenting gift.” he thought. Gifts helped calm females along with getting used to him being near.

He slowly approached the female as to not scare her. Keeping a distance in case she lashed out from him getting too close to her food. “welcome to my town.” he greeted softly.

Beverlys head shot up at the voice she recognized. Eyes going wide at the sight of the clown standing so close. His smile dropping to shock at seeing her coated in blood eating the corpse of a human. Neither of them said anything, but stared before Beverly turned to run off as a startled deer would after hearing a branch crack.

Pennywise left standing there horribly confused. “no, that cant be! She has deadlights, but shes a human! She never had them before, did she? Did I not notice? NO! I would have! I brought her into my lights, I would have seen-!” then it hit him. That part of his deadlights didn't disappear, they moved.

That whole time he scared those kids he used her newly developing maturity to scare her. The blood in the sink due to her new found of age bleeding. He didn't care for it unless it scared her. When it no longer did he had to resort to something more drastic. Bringing her into his lights to witness the paralyzing pain of a slow digestion among his deadlights. He'd never done that while a human was in the short window of maturing. Her body absorbed a cluster during that window before being freed by the other losers. The whole mess of their fight distracting him from noticing until it was far too late.

Even if he noticed the cluster missing after she was freed, would he have expected her to have them? No, he would have assumed they disappeared like this whole time. He might have not been able to see them immediately. With her fully mature now, so to were her deadlights. This situation was going to change everything in how he dealt with her. She was a female of his species, yet still a human. Was she worth courting anymore, could he afford to be that picky? Did it even matter after what he'd done to her? He may already be rejected from her possible mates list.

Startling her from her meal wasn't helpful either. It was hardly touched with her looking exhausted and so ill. Were the deadlights killing her as they weren't meant to be in a human body? He had so many questions that only she could answer. Tomorrow he'd check in on her from afar in avoiding stressing her during her ill condition.

#it 2017 #pennywise #beverly marsh #pennywise x beverly marsh

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paintthestarsarttherapy · 4 years

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Mission Possible: Tackling Screen-Time Addiction

We can’t blame Covid forever.

Fair warning: You may hate me for what I’m about to write in this blog. In my defense it’s my job. So here goes ...

Please, PLEASE, give your children screen time limits--structured and consistent limits. Oh, and to be clear: Screen time means video games AND phones AND tablets and laptops AND TV and, and, and! You get the point.

We in the mental health world are seeing a HUGE increase in behavioral outbursts, anger at home, lack of attention and focus at school and all-around oppositional behavior. This holds true for kids as young as 3 all the way into high school-aged children.

The common thread seen with all of the above is … you guessed it … screen time!

These young, developing brains are ill equipped to handle the amount of screen time we are allowing them to have. The following image

was created by a first grader using Model Magic. This 6-year-old told me that he is “addicted to playing on [his] iPad.” Addicted! If your 6-year-old said, “Sorry Mom and Dad but I am addicted to heroin,” YOU WOULD LOSE YOUR MIND!

Here is what I asked this 6-year-old to do: Create yourself out of Model Magic doing something you love or something that makes you feel happy. To no surprise he created himself an iPad. I then grabbed that Model Magic iPad and took it away. “Uh oh. Time’s up for that. What else makes you happy, now that your iPad has been removed?” I asked him. The groans and moans set in. “Ugh. Nothing else makes me happy.” Well, this is clearly a huge problem. When you are 6 years old and the only thing you can think of that makes you happy is a screen? Ugh is right. I pushed and pushed and finally he said, “I guess my trampoline.” But that was it; in 30 minutes he could only give me two things that make him happy, and coming up with that second one took about half the session.

We are letting these kids down.

And we, as parents, need to take action--and we have to do it immediately. As our kids are now back in school, in some way, shape or form, it is the perfect opportunity to use it as the impetus for setting new, limited-screen-time routines. We cannot keep using Covid as an excuse. I won’t blow your mind with the recommended amount of screen time based on the age of each child. (But if you want to learn more check this out: https://www.apa.org/topics/healthy-technology-use-children.) You don’t need to focus on the stats; we know those numbers often feel like an impossible goal. Instead I have put together some tips below to help you break free from this addiction. If you create small, tangible goals you will see success in creating those important screen time limits.

Tip 1: ‘Family Rules’ Meeting: This is our starting point. Everyone should sit down together and you as parents must explain that school is now in session, we cannot be melting our brains with screen time any more. Lay out a plan for your kids to understand. They will each get X amount of screen time each day. (I’ll explain further how to do that below.) These limits can be reinforced by timers, parental control settings, apps, or frequent wifi password changes that force your children’s electronics to TURN OFF after a certain amount of time. (Here are some great apps to check out to help you with that!) Lay out the rewards and the punishments if they do not abide by these rules.

Rewards: If your kid(s) are calmly able to slow their use of X device each day, Mom and Dad will add on to your weekend screen time by Y minutes. But go easy with those rewards! Five minutes is plenty because if they are amazing rule followers and do it with ease 5 minutes earned each weekday easily adds up to 25 additional weekend minutes—which is plenty.

Punishments: If your kid(s) throw(s) a tantrum when it is time to stop daily screen time you will lose X minutes each day on the weekend. If they continue to tantrum after that, the punishment is increased and all screens will be off limits for Y day(s).

Ok, that was all tough to hear, I know. Take it in; absorb it. Now: Take a deep breath. You’re doing great! But nope, we’re not done ...

Tip 2: Take whatever amount of screen time your child currently is allowed each day and cut it in half. That is the goal over the first month when starting this new routine. If they are playing Roblox 4 hours a day, then from now on that’s cut down to 2 hours. And this goes for all cumulative screen time. So for example, if your child plays on his/her tablet for 3 hours, plays video games on whatever device for another 2 hours you are adding all of that up together and dividing it by 2. I’m not recommending the cold turkey method on these little volcanoes, so you should spread out these cuts in a way that works for everyone. I personally like intervals of 20 minutes. It is enough time to start making a difference but also short enough that many kids won’t feel that change.

Example: If your child currently is on screens for 4 hours a day, then that first week you’ll reduce total screen time by 20 minutes, giving them 3:40. The following week you’ll take away another 20 minutes, giving them 3:20. And so on.

Starting in the third week you’ll start to take away a half hour out of their total allotted screen time. So that 3:20 now becomes 2 hours and 50 minutes. The fourth week is reduced by another half hour (down to a cumulative 2:20). Then the new month starts off with 2 hours of screen time a day.

(You should be aware, however, that if your child is on devices more than 4 hours a day--I cried a little bit typing that--you may have to do larger time intervals to hit your goal in the month.)

See how easy? Good job, Mom and Dad!

Tip 3: Be prepared for total meltdown city—and your kid is the Mayor. THEY ARE GOING TO BE ANGRY. The tantrums will get bigger and louder, I assure you. But this is also how you know that what you are doing is working! Parents so often say, “What can I do?” Well, this. You can do this. And I promise you that you are strong enough to get through it. You are not hurting your children by doing this; you are helping them. You are creating a better home life for everyone. You need to factor in a 2-week period of hazing. Your children are hazing you—not the other way around. If they scream and you give in because you are tired of hearing those screams … game over. They just won. If you stand firm, follow the structure laid out and, most importantly, be consistent (What does being consistent mean? YOU MUST DO THIS EVERY TIME!) you will start to see changes after your hazing is complete.

If the outbursts get out of control, get violent, last for hours, etc., then you have a serious addict living in your home and you must take drastic action! These tips may not be enough for your little screen-time addict; you may have to remove devices on a semi-permanent basis. Remember, one addiction is not harmless. Did you know that having one addiction puts you at greater risk for having another, future addiction? (Blame your dopamine.) I’ll let that sink in …

Tip 4: No screens should be accessible in your child’s room. No TV, video games, phones, tablets, etc. Why? Well, if a kid were alone in his/her room with the door closed what would expect them to do? Sleep? Haha. Okay then. These screens should always be kept in a common area so parents can easily keep track of their usage. For your older teens, I recommend a specific charging area in your home where phones and tablets are charged—again, not in their rooms.

(In case you were wondering, no, your teens do not go to bed at a reasonable hour and yes they are online wayyyyyy into the night.)

Tip 5: Don’t give in to the peer pressure. Your kids’ friends whose parents are not willing to go through these measures are going to make your kids feel like poop. Ready yourself for this and try to uplift moods with other fun options like taking a trip, hiking outside, going somewhere they’ve always wanted to go, family game night or even family movie night (with no phones!). Please do not believe that playing video games and texting and TikToking is the only way your kids are able to socialize. That is just not true. Our entire idea of what it means to be social has changed based on technology but when it comes to a psychological perspective, ‘social’ is not being interactive on a screen. If your kids and teens want to TALK to someone, let the talking be old fashioned. We still make phone calls, right? It is still possible to pick up a phone and call someone, last I checked. I’ve had parents ask me, “Is it okay to let my kids FaceTime friends?” Sure! But can the amount of FaceTime be limited or supervised? If the FaceTime chat is to do schoolwork together, let it be done at the kitchen table or a common area where a parent can supervise. Your teens will want their privacy, of course, so allow them to make FaceTime calls from their room but with the door open. If they are making strides in changing their idea of being social (less video game socialization for example) you can definitely loosen the reins a little depending on circumstances. For example, were your kids texting through apps like TikTok and Snapchat or gaming as a way of being social and are now instead bumping it up to actually seeing someone via video call and having a chat? I call that progress. These are added, simple ways to reduce unnecessary screen time.

Tip 6: Watch yourselves. If you as parents are always on your phones or whatever screens you prefer you are sending a warped message to your kids. Sure, we love the idea of “do as I say not as I do” but for a smooth transition from brain-melting screen time to normalcy, limiting your own screen time use will help you in the long run. It also helps with kids of all ages to see that mom and dad are willing to go through this with you--that they are not alone. Start off small: no phones or electronics at the dinner table. Dinner is a great time to go around the room and discuss your day together as a family. Electronics can stay in their designated areas. Or if your children desperately need some sort of stimulation throw on some music and let everyone take a turn picking a song.

Covid has not disappeared so I understand that many families aren’t able to schedule play dates and group social gatherings. Do what you can to make positive changes. Remember, being social is about eye contact, empathy, enjoying another person’s company, experiencing things together, and more. It is not about being logged onto something virtually and pretending it’s social because you can message a person, or see them in a video they made, or comment on their pics. The game of socialization may have changed a bit but the rules are the same. What I have laid out here for you is not easy. I promise you, parents, you will feel better and be happier, kids will feel better and be happier, schoolwork will improve, anger will decrease, sleep will get better if you follow my tips for decreased screen time. We are talking about full recovery!

You’ve got this.

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skgway · 4 years

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1825 May, Tues. 24

11 20/60

My cousin came just before I got up. Gave Hotspur oat cake – Rainy morning – Great deal of rain, heavy during last night with much lightning (they say) yesterday evening late – It became nearly fair about 8 1/2 –

Went out at 8 50/60 – Seeing nobody about the new footpath, walked to and from the Crownest gates – A little rain in returning – Met George Robinson, and hearing the workmen were come, went and found Jackman and Frank Oates and John Crossley – the gardner and his brother were come to breakfast – Nothing could be done – Frank had tumbled over the plank, the 1st barrow – John could not wheel at all – Jackman said it would be like standing in puddle to wall – He came to job here about the house – The other 2 men went away I suppose – and George Sykes (the gardner) and his brother came and mowed the grass walks in the garden –

Got home at 11 – Breakfast at 11 1/2 – Went upstairs at 12 1/4 – From 1 3/4 to 6, wrote the letter 1/2 page 2, page 3, the ends, and under the seal, (began on Sunday) pretty close, to Mademoiselle de Sans, and then wrote the latter 3/4 of page 3, the ends, (very small and close) and crossed the 1st page of my letter (began yesterday) to Miss M[a]cL[ea]n – Dressed and came down to dinner at 6 3/4 – The following is the passage in Miss McL– [MacLean]’s letter alluded to yesterday –

“I wish that nasty road was at an end – I do not at all like your being out all day overlooking men – I can fancy the necessity of it but I cannot bear your doing it – You must be directing, finding fault, etc. etc. A manner is so imperceptibly acquired – And you tell me you shall not be released till the middle of July! I shall expect to see a Yorkshire roadmaker appear in the shape of my friend in Quinish – On returning to my sheet, the last lines strike me as terribly impudent – My pen ran off with the thought, and so shall the post – I am not afraid of your justice –I sometimes wonder if ever I shall know what rest is and also ask myself how we shall like each other when more personally known. Your opinion in this subject I know and wish it may prove true. Sometimes I persuade myself that when next we part it may be with indifference. All these queer thoughts pass thro my brain during my sleepless hours” –

Wrote all the above of today downstairs after dinner – Came upstairs at 9 1/2 – Vide page 1 my letter to Miss McL– [MacLean]

“How we may meet I know not; for my fort is not in meetings – but that, when next we part, it may be with indifferences,” I confidently believe will not be the case – To me it seems to be, and, probably, it is impossible – Even should our fancies have wrought but foolishness in thus linking us together by the charities of epistolary intervenience, the disappointment, on my part at least, would be too signal to be compatible with indifference, – That good or evil of which I have as yet learnt little from experience – These are indeed, ‘queer thoughts’ that pass thro’ your brain – I long to prove you right, or wrong – You feel, as if you knew me not thoroughly, – As if you had not yet that ‘faith, that were ev’n its light remov’d, could like the dial, fin’d remain, and wait till it shone out again’ – Hold! Hold! Sibbella! A truce to these queer thoughts – If they have aught of truth, ‘tis premature; if they have aught of falsehood, ‘tis another villainy – But you are a person somewhat given to queer thougths – Perhaps they are in some degree inseparable from regard, and are the natural offspring of ‘the doubt it feeds on, and the pain that in its very sweetness lies? . . . . . . . . .

(vide page 3)

“Part with indifference! Impossible – No! No! Not quite impossible – You do not know me – You make me impatient – You make me anxious on this subject – I have never lately calculated upon being other than your ‘most valued friend’; nor can I be, unless I deserve it; and this conviction would make doubly great the mortification of losing any part of your good opinion” –

(vide page 2)

“I laughed aloud on reading your sentence of excommunication against that footpath – ‘directing – finding fault – a manner is so imperceptibly acquired’ your expectation” of seeing ‘a Yorkshire roadmaker in the shape of your friend’ amuses me exceedingly – This sentence is invaluable – I shall copy it into a conspicuous part of my journal, and read it every day by way of antidote – Why do you call it ‘terribly imprudent’? It is terribly just; but, luckily for me, I have sense enough to know it – In good truth, and soberness, I thank you for the sentence with all my heart – You never wrote a better, or a kinder” –

Say I will see her this summer if possible . . . . .

“Remember now and ever, that ‘all is not gold that glitters’, nor is all valueless, that looks like dross – Do not expect to see any other than the person from whom very little difference of manner would have . . . . . . .”

these seven dots are copied and thus follows

“I am tanned as brown as if I had been dyed with walnut-juice – Itf is not in the nature of things, that I should improve much at present; but I hope . . . . . . . keep your expectation as low as possible, and spare me, if you can, the mortification of discovering, that it will be yourself around whom disappointment shall throw the folds of indifference ‘when next we part’” –

A very kind cheering letter to Mademoiselle de S– [Sans], well written. I have brought in very well the two quotations from Moores Loves of the Angels given in my letter to Miss Macl [Maclean] about faith and tis but the doubt he feeds on etc. See above – There is the following style of profession beginning at the bottom of page 2

“Were my interest in your welfare a small matter, – a mere word without meaning, or a feeling that endured not beyond the moment of professing it, I should have ample excuse for leaving your pages unanswered, perhaps till your head had time enough to forget me altogether; but as I never pay compliments at my heart’s expense, nor ever, either to others or myself, make a joke of its regard, you may believe it real, and may count upon its continuing, in all English sincerity, true to the last – It would delight me to be at your elbow a little just now, because I think I could cheer, and console you, – I think I could persuade you that, come what may for the present, the bright side of your case is much longer than the dark one, and that the one is but as it were, a little spot upon the other, that merely hides, for the moment; the sunny good that lies behind – I have a presentiment, that I shall see you happy – Few will congratulate you more affectionately, and none more sincerely – Do not tell me of shewing you kindness in Paris – I had pity, perhaps even more than your doctor: but pity is neither the 1st, nor the only sentiment which it is in your power to excite, and by which you will always hold your place in the remembrance of those who are not “fickle as the summer’s wind” – . . . .

Conclude with

“God grant you better health and speedy happiness! Write when you have time and inclination – Nothing will give me greater pleasure than the good tidings I confidently hope you will have it in your power to send; for I am really and affectionately interested in your welfare, and shall be always my dear Louise, really and affectionately your friend AL –”

Bid her write in French and tell me what postage she pays, promising to write on thinner paper another time – Mention the de B– [Boyve]’s house being visited as an hotel garnis – Quote Mrs. B– [Barlow]’s words, mention her illness and mention that Miss Gauntlett has told us of a very nice respectable French woman who will be ready to receive a few in July – I have noted this because I never mean to go to the de B– [Boyve]’s again, and hope I have not walked in the Tuileries gardens for the last [time] – Hope to chat again there with Mademoiselle de S– [Sans] and Mrs. B– [Barlow]

A few heavyish showers during the day (vide line of today) very heavy thunder rain in the evening – Began about 7 – Barometer 3 1/4 degrees below changeable, Fahrenheit 57º at 9 1/2 p.m., at which hour came up to bed – Sat up reading volume 1 Rousseau Confessions – I certainly improve a little from the style of Rousseau and read with more ease and profitable observation than ever before –

#anne lister #anne lister code breaker #Sibella MacLean #Louise de Sans #Mademoiselle de Sans #Shibden Hall 1825

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the-accidentals · 4 years

Text

Chapter 1

Laura walked in through the door of her shoddy apartment, the lights flickering on as she slumped down on her stained sofa, she wanted to order takeaway but knew she didn't have the money, life was way to expensive and this week had been a pile of horse shit if any one had been, her car was in the garage after it broke down a couple days ago, the bill was so high she would need to not eat for a month. Before getting off shift today she had seen a family of five burn, only 2 getting out alive, a baby and the father. She tried to not let her job get to her but fighting fires was the easiest part, watching the families as they realise that not everyone made it is the worst, you can feel the guilt in the air. We are trained to move on, you can't take every death personally or it kills you from the inside but whenever i see a family torn apart so abruptly the worry stays on my heart, seeing happy families destroyed was definitely the worst part of her job but laura still loved the job and everyone struggles with it so she just tries to leave the worry at work,but today it followed her home, there was just something about today, the fire had started in the oldests room, probably faulty electrics, she was barely out of primary school, just starting to think she was a grown up, it had already killed the middle kid by the time anyone realised and the mother just breathed in to much smoke, it was come and go for a bit but in the end she didn't even make it to the hospital. A happy family reduced to two, a morning father and a 2 month old girl, how she survived I don't know. All that innocence and such young lives torn away so quickly.

Laura stood up shaking her head, it's not good to stay focused on the bad things, noodles and beer and an early night and she can sort everything else out in the morning.She has parents she can beg for money,they won't be happy but they wont let her starve,she just wishes she didn't have to call. For tonight she resigned herself to the sofa with a bottle of cheap beer and some veg noodles, strolling through the internet. Eventually the sun was long gone and the shame came creeping back, she was sitting here running from her responsibilities with beer, noodles and a blanket around her, just trying to hide away on the internet, she was a grown woman, an adult. She closed down reddit and opened her emails, this was an adult thing, she could clear her inbox. Ad,ad,ad,scam,ad,ad, important thing she should of replied too, she was trying to be grown up but that was slightly too grown up, ad, bank statement, don't want to look at that, oh nice easy one, the unit chief is trying to set up a quiz night, he needs to know when i'm free, i can do that. After a couple minutes of checking her calendar, which was embarrassingly empty she had formed an adult but chill response. There! She had been an adult, she had written an email and deleted a few more. She scanned over the rest hoping they could wait a few more days until a quiet moment at work, one caught her eye, an email from a trial company, she did a couple of studies a few years back to get some extra cash and extra cash was just what she needed, she looked into it, it was a medical study looking into a mental health drug, they needed people with diagnosed mental illness so she knew she would fit right in. Drug trials were not her thing but the pay was pretty good, two injections a week, £50 each, it lasted 12 months but you could leave whenever, just under £5,000 for the whole year, she probably wouldn't hang on that long but long enough that she could fix her beat up honda and still eat. Honestly how could she resist? The testing facility was a 15 minute walk away from the fire station as well. Fuck me if was perefect, no nagging from anyone about “being an adult” and “looking after your finances”. Laura finally went to bed that night, slightly tipsy, exhausted but slightly less stressed.

Laura had 2 days until she got paid and she had her first appointment for the trial today, it was a rolling study so there was no set start date. She had promised steve, the mechanic down the road, that he would get paid the bill as soon as she got paid so that he would carry on working with no money upfront, to be honest he totally owned lorna one, she had set him up with an ex of hers about a year back and she had never seen him happier. She walked up to a little privately owned clinic that she had never noticed before, it was smart but felt way to clinical, the lights were so bright it burnt and like all of these places the smell of cleaner was so strong you could taste it, she popped her phone into the pocket of her oversized jacket as she came to the front desk, the lady at the desk looked he up and down, I suppose she didn't really look like she belonged, it didn't look like a cheap sort of place.” hi i'm here for the trial, umm laura burmwell” laura muttered into the ground,she hated reception staff, they always seemed super judgy and this lady was no different, she tapped away at her screen for a few very awkward moments and sighed, pointing me to a section of chairs near the back. Pulling her earphones out she landed in a seat.

“Dont worry she wasn't very nice to me either” a voice chucked next to her, a small grinning woman sat there tapping on her phone, laura smiled back, she was gorgeous, long black hair down to her waist, out shining laura’s dirty blonde mess any day.

“ I’m glad she doesn't just hate me” Lorna joked, internally panicking. Why is such a cute woman actually talking to me? She suddenly felt amazingly underdressed, she was sat next to a stunning women who was clearly ready to go to work in a nice yellow dress and a jacket and she is there look like a gay hobo, hair up in yesterdays bun and a t shirt that has dinosaurs on it, at she is wearing smartish jeans. “I’m laura, are you here for the study?” she smiled.

“Preet, yeah, i'm hoping they can cure the fuckery going on in my head before the end of it” she chuckled but I could see the blush forming over her skin as she processed what she had said, Laura just snorted, tapping her leg on the linoleum floor, trying to think of something to say, her mind in overdrive.

“ nervous?” Preet questioned.

“i just haven't been in a drug trial for years, what if I grow four heads or something?” She joked, Preet actually burst out laughing, tears starting to form in her eyes, which got Laura laughing too, they just sat there trying to hide there laughter from the rest of the very serious looking members of the waiting room, finally after about 5 minutes they both calmed down enough to speak, laughter still glistening in their eyes.

“ but seriously these drugs will of been tested for years before it gets to these sorts of tests, its perfectly safe, they are just proving it and checking out side effects, im sure you wont grow any more heads.” At that moment Preets name was called over the speaker system, Secretly both of them were hoping they had been forgotten about so they could sit here and chat all day but neither of them said it.

“See you later Laura” Preet called as she picked up her stuff and started to follow the now waiting nurse.

Lorna went back to her music, trying to pull a stupid grin off her face.

1941- September 5th

I walked into surgery, on the bench was the patient, a young soldier, barley 19. He was burning up. Nurse Weber was standing there, trying to cool him down while setting up. He had a gun wound that was starting to get infected and the bullet had yet been removed. We set to work, removing infected tissue and finding bits of the shattered bullet but further we got the more futile it became, he kept losing blood and nothing we could do would keep his temperature down, he was pretty much dead in front of us. The nurse looked up, exhaustion in every wrinkle in her face, defeat in her eyes, im sure she had been on duty when he came on, over 10 hours earlier. With an air of defect I started sawing him up, giving him a dose of penicillin and covering the wound with gauze. I doubt he would make the night but we had tried. I removed my bloodied gloves and left. Hoping to be able to rest now. My eyes started over at the dying children and men who fill the halls. when will the war end, when will the suffering stop, have not enough died for the righteous cause? I started towards the boards, I was still on duty for another few days before I could head home. As i passed through the corridors i passed a officer asking about his son, every has someone fighting in this war to end all wars, he came to a halt in front of me desperately asking for his sons conduction, i had treated him when he first got brought in, he was going to make it but he no longer had a left leg, a bomb had hit near trench and had impaled his leg. As he quickly dismissed me, relief clear on his face, you could clearly see the shine on his Swastika pin. “Heil Hitler” I murmured as he marched away into the chaos

This is the first part of a longer story and my first time doing any serious writing, any advice welcome! I know it isn't perfect but I tried so I hope you enjoy it xx

#Story #Oc #Superpower #author #Writing #Part 1 #The accidentals

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wuzzybear · 4 years

Text

The Accidentals- A bad fucking week. part 1

A group of broke adults join a medical trial hoping for some easy cash but instead get a lot more than what they wanted. There is something bad at play and they need to work it out if they ever want to be normal, not that they were normal before.

Laura walked in through the door of her shoddy apartment, the lights flickering on as she slumped down on her stained sofa, she wanted to order takeaway but knew she didn't have the money, life was way to expensive and this week had been a pile of horse shit if any one had been, her car was in the garage after it broke down a couple days ago, the bill was so high she would need to not eat for a month. Before getting off shift today she had seen a family of five burn, only 2 getting out alive, a baby and the father. She tried to not let her job get to her but fighting fires was the easiest part, watching the families as they realise that not everyone made it is the worst, you can feel the guilt in the air. We are trained to move on, you can't take every death personally or it kills you from the inside but whenever i see a family torn apart so abruptly the worry stays on my heart, seeing happy families destroyed was definitely the worst part of her job but laura still loved the job and everyone struggles with it so she just tries to leave the worry at work,but today it followed her home, there was just something about today, the fire had started in the oldest’s room, probably faulty electrics, she was barely out of primary school, just starting to think she was a grown up, it had already killed the middle kid by the time anyone realised and the mother just breathed in to much smoke, it was come and go for a bit but in the end she didn't even make it to the hospital. A happy family reduced to two, a morning father and a 2 month old girl, how she survived I don't know. All that innocence and such young lives torn away so quickly.

Laura stood up shaking her head, it's not good to stay focused on the bad things, noodles and beer and an early night and she can sort everything else out in the morning.She has parents she can beg for money,they won't be happy but they wont let her starve,she just wishes she didn't have to call. For tonight she resigned herself to the sofa with a bottle of cheap beer and some veg noodles, strolling through the internet. Eventually the sun was long gone and the shame came creeping back, she was sitting here running from her responsibilities with beer, noodles and a blanket around her, just trying to hide away on the internet, she was a grown woman, an adult. She closed down Reddit and opened her emails, this was an adult thing, she could clear her inbox. Ad,ad,ad,scam,ad,ad, important thing she should of replied too, she was trying to be grown up but that was slightly too grown up, ad, bank statement, don't want to look at that, oh nice easy one, the unit chief is trying to set up a quiz night, he needs to know when i'm free, i can do that. After a couple minutes of checking her calendar, which was embarrassingly empty she had formed an adult but chill response. There! She had been an adult, she had written an email and deleted a few more. She scanned over the rest hoping they could wait a few more days until a quiet moment at work, one caught her eye, an email from a trial company, she did a couple of studies a few years back to get some extra cash and extra cash was just what she needed, she looked into it, it was a medical study looking into a mental health drug, they needed people with diagnosed mental illness so she knew she would fit right in. Drug trials were not her thing but the pay was pretty good, two injections a week, £50 each, it lasted 12 months but you could leave whenever, just under £5,000 for the whole year, she probably wouldn't hang on that long but long enough that she could fix her beat up Honda and still eat. Honestly how could she resist? The testing facility was a 15 minute walk away from the fire station as well. Fuck me if was perfect, no nagging from anyone about “being an adult” and “looking after your finances”. Laura finally went to bed that night, slightly tipsy, exhausted but slightly less stressed.

Laura had 2 days until she got paid and she had her first appointment for the trial today, it was a rolling study so there was no set start date. She had promised Steve, the mechanic down the road, that he would get paid the bill as soon as she got paid so that he would carry on working with no money upfront, to be honest he totally owned Laura one, she had set him up with an ex of hers about a year back and she had never seen him happier. She walked up to a little privately owned clinic that she had never noticed before, it was smart but felt way to clinical, the lights were so bright it burnt and like all of these places the smell of cleaner was so strong you could taste it, she popped her phone into the pocket of her oversized jacket as she came to the front desk, the lady at the desk looked he up and down, I suppose she didn't really look like she belonged, it didn't look like a cheap sort of place.” hi i'm here for the trial, umm.. Laura Burmwell” Laura muttered into the ground,she hated reception staff, they always seemed super judgy and this lady was no different, she tapped away at her screen for a few very awkward moments and sighed, pointing me to a section of chairs near the back. Pulling her earphones out she landed in a seat.

“Don’t worry she wasn't very nice to me either” a voice chucked next to her, a small grinning woman sat there tapping on her phone, Laura smiled back, she was gorgeous, long black hair down to her waist, out shining Laura's dirty blonde mess any day.

“I’m glad she doesn't just hate me” Lorna joked, internally panicking. Why is such a cute woman actually talking to me? She suddenly felt amazingly under dressed, she was sat next to a stunning women who was clearly ready to go to work in a nice yellow dress and a jacket and she is there look like a gay hobo, hair up in yesterdays bun and a t shirt that has dinosaurs on it, at she is wearing smartish jeans. “I’m Laura, are you here for the study?” she smiled.

“Nervous?” Preet questioned.

“ but seriously these drugs will of been tested for years before it gets to these sorts of tests, its perfectly safe, they are just proving it and checking out side effects, I’m sure you wont grow any more heads.” At that moment Preet’s name was called over the speaker system, Secretly both of them were hoping they had been forgotten about so they could sit here and chat all day but neither of them said it.

“See you later Laura” Preet called as she picked up her stuff and started to follow the now waiting nurse.

Lorna went back to her music, trying to pull a stupid grin off her face.

1941- September 5th

I walked into surgery, on the bench was the patient, a young soldier, barley 19. He was burning up. Nurse Weber was standing there, trying to cool him down while setting up. He had a gun wound that was starting to get infected and the bullet had yet been removed. We set to work, removing infected tissue and finding bits of the shattered bullet but further we got the more futile it became, he kept losing blood and nothing we could do would keep his temperature down, he was pretty much dead in front of us. The nurse looked up, exhaustion in every wrinkle in her face, defeat in her eyes, I’m sure she had been on duty when he came on, over 10 hours earlier. With an air of defect I started sawing him up, giving him a dose of penicillin and covering the wound with gauze. I doubt he would make the night but we had tried. I removed my bloodied gloves and left. Hoping to be able to rest now. My eyes started over at the dying children and men who fill the halls. when will the war end, when will the suffering stop, have not enough died for the righteous cause? I started towards the boards, I was still on duty for another few days before I could head home. As i passed through the corridors i passed a officer asking about his son, every has someone fighting in this war to end all wars, he came to a halt in front of me desperately asking for his sons condition, i had treated him when he first got brought in, he was going to make it but he no longer had a left leg, a bomb had hit near trench and had impaled his leg. As he quickly dismissed me, relief clear on his face, you could clearly see the shine on his Swastika pin. “Heil Hitler” I murmured as he marched away into the chaos.

This is my first attempt writing, please tell me how to improve! this is the first part of a longer story.

#original writing #story #germany #nazi #lgbt #powers #mental health #writing #Lesbian

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timehasbeenbusy · 4 years

Text

17 & 18 November 1828

Monday 17 November 1828

5¾

11 25/60

From 6 40/60 to 8 read from page 30 – 42 of the Brief History of Christ Hospital and wrote the whole of the above today – Breakfast at 8 20/60 – off to Halifax at 8 50/60 down the old bank to Mr Briggs – said I had seen Holt, and what I had said to him – Mr Briggs thought I had better give away the coals - getting them would be expensive – must have an engine – did not think they would pay – giving them away would not, said it was my present mind to get them at all rates – Mr Briggs said he would see Holt, and go with him to plan the ground, Mr Briggs shewed me an oak-root round table made at Brighhouse priced £20 – one not so handsome sold to Mr Stead for £25 - About 20 minutes there – then sat 25 minutes with Mrs Veitch (poorly in a bad cold), then at 9 ¾ got to Savile hill –the breakfast things not removed Mrs and 2 Miss Wilcocks – Miss Pickford much better for the baths of St Gervais, to spend the winter at Roma – to write there poste restante – Mrs Wilcocks going to write to her today – begged a little of her paper and wrote ⅓ of the first page small and close, hoping my letter to Genoa was received, giving my address in Paris – observing she could be complacent in writing full letters, all crossed, as I had just seen, to Mrs Wilcocks - to write to me before expecting to hear of or from me again – uncertain as to my stay here, but would not exceed 10 days or a fortnight – asked what beauties she most admired and what thought of this place and that – should not at this moment say of what use her information might be to me – thought that by hook and by crook, I should see her before the twelvemonth’s end –

½ hour at Savile hill –then went to Throps – not at home – could learn nothing – my job was but a small one – would think about it – Throp most likely to be at home between 12 and 2 – returned along the canal – the new lodge to Stonyroyde, nearly roofed gable-end, labells windows, little building expensively hewed – got home up the old bank at 12 – Letter from Mariana Scarbro’on my desk – 3 hurried pages 2½ pm yesterday, ‘great change – cannot last much longer – ‘the struggles are dreadfully severe, and it is indeed a trying scene to us all’ – Mariana sat up on Friday night, but says she bore it well – ‘as to myself, have no fears on my account – I am honestly and in truth the best of the set’ would ‘like me to write something more than a mere statement that life was no more ….to appear in the York paper ……..’some little tribute to his merits would be gratifying to us all’ will write tomorrow (ie today) if any thing happens – if not on Tuesday (ie tomorrow) – offers to bring my father cod, sounds as she passes through – Had just begun to write when (at 12 20/60) Miss Hudson of Hipperholme called for ½ an hour – going to send off a parcel from Whitleys tomorrow by the van in 3 or 4 days to Miss MacLean if I had any letter to send Whitley would enclose it in time tomorrow afternoon – said I was much obliged etc etc but a very bad correspondent abomined letter-writing only said what I had to say – did not believe I could make up my mind to write – thought I, no, I wont send in her parcel, I do not understand all this, they shall have it to themselves Miss Hudson Miss Maclean had asked many questions about the place – it was not very beautiful country and she had said so – I abused the house – said much wanted doing at it – it was a doghole of a place as I always told people – I certainly never said much in its favour -

Came upstairs again at 12 50/60 – from 1 to 3, wrote 3 pages to Mariana including the following ‘as to the request that I should write something more than a common obituary notice, be it remembered Mary, that I am not an advocate for long paragraphs of this kind in newspapers, and, above all, that it is Steph, not I who can do this best – when I am serious, you know my repugnance to speak or write strongly in praise or dispraise – all that I need add is, that, were my own father in the circumstances of yours, and I heard I persuaded myself to write any thing more than a mere ‘announcement of the death, it would probably be something like the following’ –

‘Died on ------- at his house in Scarborough, in the ----- year of his age, after a long and ‘severe illness, William Belcombe Esquire, ---- years a resident physician in this city ‘where his talent soon established him at the head of his profession, where by his mild ‘and gentlemany manners, and active and useful benevolence, he was soon and lastingly endeared to all who knew him well – He was eminently successful in his practice which ‘was very extensive ‘to the last of his professional career, he devoted a considerable ‘portion of every day to his numerous poor and‘gratis patients; and it does not fall to the ‘lot of every one to be more sincerely lamented, or to leave behind him a good name ‘better deserved – But Mary, do you not think, it would be best for Steph to draw up a ‘proper memoir to be inserted in the Genteman’s Magazine? To do this, no-one is better fitted than your brother – As a professional man, he might give a brief and comprehensive sketch which, in doing credit to his father, might reflect some credit upon himself – your father’s practice which laid the foundation-stone ‘of his reputation in York, was, at that time new in England? His services in the navy, experience in the ‘West Indies, studies and intimacies with the man of letters on the continent, mild treatment of insanity cases,‘not to forget (if thought proper) descent from an old and respectable Lancashire family, and his marriage with‘whom, - might, if well handled by his son, do some dutiful honour, and some practical good – give‘my best regards to Steph, and tell him so – Then write the following to Mr Birmingham ‘Shibden hall Monday 17 November‘1828 – Sir – Being domiciliated in Paris, I wish to take over with me, on my return, a small box of plate viz ‘1 tea-pot, a couple of dozen folks, dozen spoons, cream jug and sugar, - basin, snuffers and tray, and a couple of ‘waiters – I know, some particular permit is required for this from the French chef de douanes – I shall be much obliged to‘you to take the earliest opportunity of giving me all necessary information on this subject, direct to Mrs Lister,‘Shibden hall, Halifax, Yorkshire – on my arrival at Dover, I will pay you any expense that may have been ‘incurred on my account – I am, Sir etc etc A Lister’ – all which took me till 5 – then skimming over again Cronhelms Book-keeping – dressed – dined at 6 25/60 – at 7 sent off to the post by John, my letter to Mariana ‘Doctor Belcombe’s Scarborough’ and to Mr John Birmingham, Commissioner, Old Ship Hotel, Dover, Post paid’ then Sat talking till after 9 – wrote the last 3 lines – went up to bed ay 10 5/60 – very fine day not so damp and thick as these last few days – rather inclined to be a little frosty – reading the rules in Hutton’s Book-keeping, till 10 ¾

Tuesday 18 November 1828

5 50/60

11 10/60

Read the 1st 45 lines Saturday 2 I went out at 7½ - went to Cowgate wood – took the wallers from walling and stayed there to right the set started against the wood in Pearson’s great brow – stayed with them and did not get home till 10¼ - sent John to make holes for planting in Pump Lane – find on my desk letter from Mariana Scarbro’, 11 hurried lines dated yesterday 17th instant ‘at 5 minutes before 1 today my precious father breathed his last without a groan, tho’ from 11 yesterday to the same hour at night his sufferings were very severe, after that he became calm and composed until 5 this morning, when difficulty of breathing returned and continued till within a few minutes of his death - Steph was with us - my mother at this minute bears ‘up tolerably, and we all do our best – I will write again in a day or 2 – God bless you – always yours Mariana’ –Will she get my letter of yesterday today? What will she think of what I wrote to announce Dr Belcombe’s death? It will seem cold, praiseless, spiritless, heartless – how different our feelings! Her expression precious father –shocks me – dear father – or simply father - It smites me best to think of those I love when gone as if they were still here – I never yet could say my poor uncle and Mr Sunderland’s exclamation on first seeing him a corpse ‘poor thing!’ shocked me more than I could describe - Letter also from Isabella Norcliffe, Langton, they had heard a bad account of Dr Belcombe’ think it will be a happy release but I dread the effect it will produce upon Mariana, whose nerves are little able to bear such a shock – I fear there is no chance of our meeting at Lawton, as of course she will not leave Scarbro’ just at present’ – they leave Langton for Bath on the 2nd of December -

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96percentdone · 5 years

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The Moonlit Prince and the Lying Thief (Part 1)

So uh. It’s @oumasaiweek. And I challenged myself basically to write an entire au fic throughout the course of the week. This is the start of that. Consider it a week long combination of the Birthday and AU prompts on the list, but there’s a smattering of most of the prompts throughout the whole thing.

Welcome to my Tangled AU. This is Part 1. Check back here for the next parts.

It was a night much like this one. The stars hang bright in the crystal-clear sky, and the moon, big and beautiful, let loose a single drop of pure moonlight. It fell, and fell, past the tree branches, and owls, into fresh soil. From there, a single flower bloomed, with glimmering silver and blue petals, and if you learned the right song, the power to heal all ills.

Centuries pass from that miraculous moment, and a kingdom grows on a nearby island. The city was lively, the land at peace, and all were happy except one. An actress, old and embittered by the passage of time, searched desperately for a means to regain her youth. She does not fear death or ageing, but her career, the show, has ended. She does not want that curtain to close.

And on a night much like this one, she found it. The solution to all her woes: a magic moonlit flower. “Flower gleam and glow,” she sings, soft and low. “Let your power shine.” It glows white in the darkness, and deep blue returns to long white hair.

Even with her youth restored, she can’t reclaim her career. Life is not so simple or easy that one can return back to town 50 years younger and resume where one left off. But that was never the plan. Now acting takes the form of a new persona, a new role, with each passing generation. It is no longer her job, but her life, and what a perfect solution it was. The crown is passed on between heirs, and she dons a new mask for the eon.

However, it was not to last forever: The King and Queen, after many tries, were finally able to conceive the next heir. But it was not without cost, and the Queen fell deathly ill. All the kingdom, from the men, to the women, and even the children, went scouring the nearby lands for the legendary moon flower, the namesake of their home. Though the actress attempted to hide it, beneath a basket designed to resemble a hedge, it was easily found. A young girl merely tripped over it, and it was whisked away to the castle.

Which leads us to a night like this one. The Queen, recovered upon eating the magic flower, gave birth to a healthy baby boy with long silver hair, and startling gold eyes. To celebrate, they set a flying blue lantern towards the sky. And for a moment, they were blessed; the moon shone down upon them. And in that same moonlight, when all the palace was asleep, our actress slipped in through the balcony.

“Flower gleam and glow.”

The child’s hair starts to glow.

“Let your power shine.”

Slowly, she holds a pair of scissors to his hair, the child none the wiser.

“Make the clock re—”

Snip. The strand of hair turns a blue-ish black, and the wrinkles beneath her eyes return. “Well that just plain won’t do,” she says, heard only by herself and the night. She can’t continue her eternal performance like this, and as quietly as she came, she left, cradling a newborn in her arms.

The kingdom searched. Of course, they searched. Their prince was missing, gone, vanished on what should have been the most blessed of nights. But no matter how they searched—the knights, the men, the women, all—they found nothing.

The actress would raise him as her own, in a tower hidden deep in the forest. Careful to keep him hidden, she raised him with a single rule.

“Why can’t I go outside?”

“The world is dangerous for you. If they ever found out about you, you would be hunted down for the rest of your life.”

But though he was locked away in a tower, it could not keep the outside world from here. In hope, or perhaps in mourning, the kingdom launched lanterns in the sky every year on his birthday. A phenomenon he could not understand. The first mystery he wanted to solve.

And eighteen years later, on crystal clear night, the moon looming large in the sky, a young man with endless silver hair gazes out the tower window, wondering when his life begins.

#oumasaiweek #oumasai #saiouma #Ouma Kokichi #Saihara Shuuichi #hope.txt #my fic #ndrv3 #dangan ronpa #v3 Tangled AU #I've wanted to write one of these for any fandom #but v3 especially since SI #even tried out a new voice for it #which has been a lot of fun #I'm excited #I hope y'all enjoy it

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jjpmoans · 5 years

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50 Questions Tag

Tagged by @prettywordsyouleft and @itsallabigmess bcs these two unnies really love me

1. What takes too much of your time?

Social media (yes that includes tumblr)

2. What makes your day better?

These days, Jinyoung. Lol okay so I am a very talkative one. So yeah, talking to someone will immediately makes me feel less stressful.

3. What’s the best thing that happened to you today?

Just now @itsallabigmess made an exception for me to write a GOT7 fic asdfghjkl I FEEL A LITTLE TOO OVER HAPPY

4. What fictional place would you like to go to?

I think almost all my friend would have guess this. Hogwarts. Because the food there seems to be endless and really, I’d love to try eating both drumsticks in my hand and I want to put an incantation to whoever tries to hold me from eating.

5. Are you good at giving advice?

Well, I think I am. Judging from how my whole family turned to me when they wanted to share their problems. Also when I gave advises, I always stresses this one thing “Listen to understand, don’t listen to reply” and that implies to me too. And honestly, I listen too much and sometimes when people just don’t want to change, I feel really annoyed BECAUSE WHAT IS THE POINT YOU WANTED MY ADVISE???? Okay I think I’m good. hahahhahhaha

6. Do you have any mental illness?

Horny 24/7 is that a mental illness? lmao no I’m not that bad but I think I need to get married. NOW.

7. Have you ever experienced sleep paralysis?

Not yet. In my country, people describe sleep paralysis as you got crushed by some spirit (ghost to be exact) and yes it is scary and I hope I would never experience it.

8. What musician inspired you the most?

I’ve been thinking a lot and though I really want to say GOT7, I’d say EXO. Partly because I was there since early times, but also, the amount of success and loyalties they have received are really unbelievable. The secret of EXO’s and BTS’s popularity which leads them to win daesang in every award is their fans. And I really hope ahgase can be like them. I’d be lying if I say our fandom is really hardworking when it comes to award season. I’ve seen my friend bullshitting EXO and BTS bcs whenever any of them is nominated in the same award of GOT7, automatically, GOT7 will lose. And no joke, army and exol are really monsters during award season. And I hope us ahgase can be like that too. I know got7 said they didn’t mind but Jinyoung once said that he want to know how those groups can win daesang easily and he thought got7 need to work harder. smh I’m emo. sorry this got longer than it should.

9. Have you ever fallen in love?

I do. Hahahahhahaha yes I do.

10. What’s your dream date?

Well for me, just talking with each other is a date. I love to know small details because when I love someone, I just want to know everything about him. But okay a dream date? Amusement park. Yes you need to know which ride makes me scream like a girl and which makes me scream like a mad woman.

11. What do others notice about you?

I’m very talkative (that really shows lol). And I don’t know how to refuse when someone ask for a help or anything. I always tell myself to treat people the way I want to be treated.

And they said I’m too nice. Yeah I figured that too hahahahhaa

12. What is an annoying habit you have?

Refuse to listen when I’m angry. I feel annoyed because I know I’m wrong but I’m angry but I don’t want to hurt people. So I’ll say “Sorry, I’m very angry now but I know I’m wrong. Just, I’ll be okay later so we’ll talk later”

13. Do you still talk to your first love?

Yes and no. Our last conversation was he wanted to meet me. But ever since then, no other conversation.

14. How many ex’s do you have?

Can’t relate lol

15. How many songs are in your playlist?

Here’s the thing. I have a lot of playlists. Phone playlist, laptop playlist, joox playlist and youtube playlist. So I don’t know how many of them.

16. What instruments can you play?

Non existent.

17. Who do you have the most pictures of?

My phone? Now? Jinyoung smh this is all Tumblr’s fault lol.

18. Where would you like to go before you die?

Mecca. I’d like to die there if I can.

19. What is your zodiac?

Virgo. And please, someone, please help me calculate whatever thing it was (sun sign, moon sign and all) I never knew those things and it irks me when I don’t know it hahahahhaaa

20. Do you relate to it?

Well I did some research here, Virgo firstly is a virgin and yes I am. It says that virgo is very supportive of people in their lives and even strangers, that is me. I’m a critical thinker bcs I personally hate when something goes wrong. but lol hardworking, artists and remembers everything? Not even close. I’m a lazy ass, I draw a cow but it turned into a pig and I am hopeless with my memory.

But one Virgo thing about me, yes I am an overthinker hahahahhaa

21. What is happiness to you?

When my family reunited.

22. Are you going through anything right now?

Family problem. Mom just got heart attack, dad married another woman, brother on crisis with mom, sister just stabbed my back, aunt made everything worse. It’s been three months into 2019, every week, another family problem popped up. But we are trying, I tried to fix everything, another role which the smallest child has to take upon responsibility but I’m fine. Just, tiring.

23. What’s the worst decision you’ve ever made?

applied for the wrong scholarship and wasted an opportunity to fly to New Zealand for study.

24. What’s your favourite store?

Food stores. Any of them. ARE MY FAVOURITE ahhahahhaha

25. What’s your opinion on abortion?

Because I’m a muslim, I am against abortion. Here, in my country, abortion is done because it was done out of wedlock and they feel embarrassed. So, it irks me bcs if you can think to have sex, you can’t think that there is possibilities that you can get pregnant? And to kill your child bcs you wanted to cover it, is unacceptable. But again, it is personal choice.

26. Do you keep a bucket list?

I have a few but not enough to be a bucket.

27. Do you have a favourite album?

Honestly, if favourite means I have listened to all songs in that album, it’s EXO The War album.

28. What do you want for your birthday?

A freaking big plushie. I love to hug big plushies. But no one ever wanted to give me that for my birthday. And now, I’ve been searching for a big squirtle plushie or snorlax plushie (yes jackson and jaebum)

29. What are most people’s first impression of you?

okay this one lol they said I look scary and they thought I’d be the grumpy one. Well, if you meet me when I’m hungry, I have the tendency to be one.

30. What age do you seem according to most people?

I don’t know anymore. An aunt asked me “Are you the one who got married?” when it was my sister smh

31. Where do you keep your phone while you’re sleeping?

next to my pillow bcs I need to charge it.

32. what word do you say the most?

me? I say “shit” a lot lol

33. What’s the oldest age you would date?

well I would say I definitely date anyone as long as they are not the same age with my dad.

34. What’s the youngest age you would date?

idk I never thought on dating a younger one. But if I do, maybe 4 years younger bcs damn, if I make it 10 years, my date would be 12 when me here is 22.

35. What job/career do most people say would suit you?

something which requires me to talk a lot.

36. What’s your favourite music genre?

K-Pop.

37. If you could live in any country in the world, where would it be?

South Korea. New Zealand. Anywhere but Malaysia lol.

38. What is your current favourite song?

Say you won’t let go - James Arthur

39. How long have you had this blog for?

I had this blog for a few years. But just becoming active just recently hmm I don’t know the exact date. But I know it started after I interacted with @prettywordsyouleft

40. What are you excited for?

Food. and sponsored vacation

41. Are you a better talker or listener?

A better talker. but also a pretty good listener

42. What is the last productive thing you did?

Last sunday, i climbed a 200m hill to get to the view point. It got me panting like a dying cow.

43. What do you want for Christmas?

While I don’t celebrate Christmas, I welcome gifts. Any gifts would be fine lol (make sure its food)

44. What class do you get the best grades in?

High school? Chemistry. College? Mathematic. Now? Nothing hahahahaha

45. On a scale of 1-10, how are you feeling right now?

5 and exhausted but tomorrow? 10 BECAUSE A JINYOUNG IS COMING

46. What can you see yourself doing in 10 years?

10 years I just hope that I am already working and saving money to go on vacations and can sponsor my family on vacations too.

47. When did you first get your heartbreak?

2009 when I discovered that dad has another wife. I was 12 and just got my exam result but dad wasn’t there. He was never present for any of my achievements in school. Turns out he has another child the same age as me and he puts her before me. Since I was born, I was always put second.

2011 when I liked a guy but he hated me awh teenagers. He said I’m too fat and how dare a fat girl like me tries to like him? He was my first love.

48. At what age do you want to get married?

When I am ready. I have a dream wedding, so I would work hard for it to happen.

49. What career did you want to have as a child?

Idk I always change it lol today i’ll say teacher and next day I’ll say ballerina. Yes I spent my whole school life giving different careers when teachers asked me.

50. What do you crave right now?

Food bcs I’m on diet and hell those food porns are getting on my nerves.

Phew it was a good time answering all these questions and it drains my energy lol. So for this, hmm I don’t know who to tag. But i’ll go with this one @sevenpeaches @riceeater22 @tuanyiems @kpopchangedme @kpopstories @starhibiki @ongsung @sehunsmybae (yes I always saw you) and everyone who want to do this! of course, you are not forced to do this

#jinyoungmoans join tagging game

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boxinc · 5 years

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ask meme

tagged by @sylferino

1. What takes up too much of your time? Video games honestly

2. What makes your day better? Hanging with friends in voice chat and shit, also video games.

3. What’s the best thing that happened to you today? Caught a porygon in pokemon go!

4. What fictional place would you like to go to? Minecraft babeey

5. Are you good at giving advice? Yeah I like to think so, took a while for me to feel comfortable giving friends advice and i feel more confident about it now than I ever have.

6. Do you have a mental illness? I think so, got recommended to see a therapist from my physical doctor after he observed i had signs of depression after my parents’ divorce, but i never went.

7. Have you ever experienced sleep paralysis? No, hope i never do

8. What musician inspires you the most? Video game music? cant think of any actual genre in particular i listen to a lot

9. Have you ever fallen in love? Had a few crushes, but haven't fallen in love yet

10. What’s your dream date? I have no experience in dating but i think it might be hanging out in my or her house and just hanging out and shooting the shit together

11. What do others notice about you? I dunno, maybe that i’m quiet? (if it’s not my friends), a few strangers have said I have nice eyes though

12. What’s an annoying habit you have? I drink Dr Pepper when I’m thirsty, i need to stop

13. Do you still talk to your first love? See No. 9

14. How many exes do you have? 0

15. How many songs are in your playlist? No playlist really, just listen to shit on youtube

16. What instruments can you play? I can play a few LoZ OOT songs on piano

17. What do you have the most pictures of? Cats

18. Where would you like to go before you die? Maybe like France? or Japan? Heard they’re cool places to go.

19. What’s your zodiac? Libra

20. Do you relate to it? Dont know

21. What is happiness to you? Hanging out with friends, relaxing without anyone barging in, all in all just doing my own thing.

22. Are you going through anything right now? Still a bit worried about my future right now, what im gonna do after college, how im gonna finance living on my own, etc.

23. What’s the worst decision you ever made? Iunno, probably made a lot of mistakes in the past but whatever, cant change it right?

24. What’s your favorite store? Fuckin Stater Bros near me, can get TWO 6oz filets for $12

25. What’s your opinion about abortion? Pro Choice

26. Do you keep a bucket list? No

27. Do you have a favorite album? I dunno

28. What do you want for your birthday? Some DND stuff, maybe a game I’m excited for

29. What are people’s first impressions of you? I’m quiet, but very passionate about certain topics and can talk longer once i get comfortable with someone.

30. What age do you seem according to most people? I dunno, like, some people think im a little younger? so like 19?

31. Where do you keep your phone while you’re sleeping? On my nightstand, sometimes next to me on the bed if i fall asleep listening to something on my phone.

32. What word do you say the most? It’s either fuck, shit, or um

33. What’s the oldest age you would date? like, 25 or 26 maybe

34. What’s the youngest you would date? I think 20, the idea of dating someone 3 years younger than me seems odd, i’d rather them be close to my age or a little older than me maybe.

35. What job/career do most people say would suit you? A lot of people/teachers recommend me to look into either engineering or programming, could be a good path

36. What’s your favorite music genre? Video Game

37. If you could live in any country in the world, where would it be? Maybe like, Canada? or somewhere in Europe

38. What is your current favorite song? The Glorious Octagon of Destiny

39. How long have you had this blog for? Fuck dude i dunno

40. What are you excited for? FUCKIN HOLLOW KNIGHT SILK SONG BABEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY

41. Are you a better talker or listener? I feel like i can do both good, but with new people initially i listen better.

42. What was the last productive thing you did? cleaning my got dam room!

43. What do you want for Christmas? see No. 28

44. What class do you get the best grades in? Theoretically it’d be math but i never did any fuckin homework, so it’s actually like, art classes since they had no homework and were relatively easy

45. On a scale of 1-10, how are you feeling right now? eh like a 7

46. What can you see yourself doing in ten years? Hopefully in a stable job that lets me pay rent and live relatively financially safely, spending time with friends and shit, maybe in a relationship.

47. When did you get your first heartbreak? Never been with anyone, but i think the worst i’ve ever felt in terms of romantics was when i was in high school on valentines day and two girls walked by me and one of them asked me out as a joke and ran off laughing with her friend, that shit hurted real bad, especially since i had REALLY SHIT feelings about myself back then.

48. What age do you want to get married? Sometime in the future

49. What career did you want to have as a child? I wanted to be a game tester, because “play video games for money!” until i learned it was vastly about bug testing and repeating bugs over and over to find out what caused them.

50. What do you crave right now? Crab. I’m always craving crab.

This was fun, if you’re reading this you can say I tagged you

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teapical · 5 years

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50 QUESTIONS TAG 💕

was tagged by @sophrosynes (thank you darling!!😚💗💗💗💗)

1. what takes up too much of your time? tumblr 🚶🏿

2. what makes your day better? seeing pictures of cute things!

3. what’s the best thing that happened to you today? umm hmm well im officially on spring break starting now yay and i got an email tht the lip gloss i ordered is on its way!! idk it wasn’t really a great day...

4. what fictional place would you like to go? ooo Hyrule! bcuz i love the zelda games and i think its pretty 🤧

5. are you good at giving advice? hmm i don’t think so sjhddf

6. do you have any mental illness? yes....and no ahndf

7. have you ever experienced sleep paralysis? nope and im soo glad bcuz ever since my friend told me about her sleep paralysis experience ive been so scared of it 🤒

8. what musician inspired you the most? hmm...idk i dont think ive really thought about tht before

9. have you ever fallen in love? nope

10. what’s your dream date? im a really simple person so nothing thts like too much.....i really like going on picnics or going to a cafe idk just somewhere peaceful and fun where u can talk and learn about each other

11. what do others notice about you? my smile and my eyebrows oop

12. what is the annoying habit you have? umm i flick my nails a lot? sjdhnfd

13. do you still talk to your first love? haha

14. how many ex’s do you have? lol

15. how many songs are on your playlist? i dont really have playlists like everything is just all over the place on my spotify sjhbfd

16. what instruments can you play? none shbjd i was learning guitar but i stopped

17. who do you have the most pictures of? either minseok or junmyeon asjhd

18. where would you like to go before you die? ahh theres so many places i’d love to visit but id really love to go to thailand :((

19. what is your zodiac? capricorn

20. do you relate to it? not really sjhnf like i dont really believe in astrology and its fun and all but the capricorn stuff never fit me 😣

21. what is happiness to you? happiness is feeling loved and safe, having a peaceful state of mind, seeing your loved ones do well, its like feeling as if your skin is glowing and its all shiny ooo

22. are you going through anything right now? always

23. what’s the worst decision you’ve ever made? theres tons

24. what’s your favorite store? i wouldn’t call them my fave but i shop at h&m and yesstyle a lot

25. what’s your opinion on abortion? pro choice

26. do you keep a bucket list? nope!

27. do you have a favorite album at the moment? hmm nooo i dont think sooo

28. what do you want for your birthday? some rest

29. what are most people’s first impression of you? friendly and calm

30. what age do you seem according to most people? i have no idea tbh like no one has ever told me what age i look like to them but i know ppl think i look younger than my age sjhnd

31. where do you keep your phone while you’re sleeping? right next to my pillow

32. what word do you say the most? either bah or uhh sjhfdf

33. what’s the oldest age you would date? hmm idk not too old dfjhngf

34. what’s the youngest age you would date? hmm i dont think id date someone younger than me tbh

35. what job/career do most people say would suit you? idk no one says anything like this to me jhndf 🚶🏿

36. what’s your favorite music genre? i dont have a fave bcuz i just listen to anything and if i think it sounds good then i like it sjhd but i dont really like heavy metal or country

37. if you could live in any country in the world where would it be? ooo maybe indonesia :o

38. what is your current favorite song? Smile by Nohidea and Ben Beal

39. how long have you had this blog for? umm since 2014 i think? its been through a lot of changes dsjhf

40. what are you excited for? the end of the school year

41. are you a better talker or listener? i think a better listener?? i love listening to ppl lol i only talk a lot with someone if we’re close and i feel comfortable with them

42. what is the last productive thing you did? went to my last class for the day yay

43. what do you want for christmas? i just want to be with my pets :((

44. what class do you get the best grades in? umm idk rn im doing good in everything but i usually do good in most of my classes

45. on a scale from 1-10, how are you feeling right now? 3

46. what can you see yourself doing in 10 years? wearing cute clothes, going to cute places, being with the loml 😔

47. when did you get your first heartbreak? umm i dont remember oop

48. at what age do you want to get married? idk tbh

49. what career did you want to have as a child? so many things umm a dancer, a veterinarian, a chef,

50. what do you crave now? peace, love, a sign, food lol

im gonna tag @baekbuns @yeolslove @chamgmin @floralminho @minhochoi @baekhny @markclub

#i finally did this yay sjhd #u dont have to do this if u dont want to!!#i hope u all are doing well hehe #tag game

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heartcravings · 5 years

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50 Questions Tag!

@jongin-be-my-jagi tagged me for this a while ago, but I took my sweet time to answer. Here is my secret intel if you want to know me a little bit more!! Check hers as well, she’s an amazing writer and friend. 1. What takes up too much of your time? Tumblr, my stupid procrastination prone brain and my thesis.

2. What makes your day better? Friends and loved ones, music and these absolute dorks (Channie especially)

3. What’s the best thing that happened to you today? I hopped on the mat today in the early hours of the morning, rain on my window and the neighbours cat peeking at me from his window across the street.

4. What fictional place would you like to go to? Wonderland, bacause it’s “curiouser and curiouser!”

'Who are you?' said the Caterpillar. Alice replied, rather shyly, 'I — I hardly know, sir, just at present — at least I know who I was when I got up this morning, but I think I must have been changed several times since then.'

5. Are you good at giving advice? I think so. Not so good at following my own advice though. I do always consider where the other is standing and if I don’t know how to proceed then I’ll just be honest and say I can’t help. But i’ll always listen with my heart.

6. Do you have any mental illnesses? Not diagnosed. I do think i might be going through something now.

7. Have you ever experienced sleep paralysis? No, but i have a recurring nightmare: the world is made of black and white paper thin layers. I am a paper thin person walking along a street surrounded by paper thin buildings. I walk for a long time, looking up at the white sky. Until the street ends, there is no more building and i fall into the abyss of a blank page. I have had this dream since the age of 8 or 9 years old. Fear of not being good enough, you say?! Ding, ding, ding!! We got a winner in the back! 8. What musician inspired you the most? I get inspired by music all the time!! One of my all time favourite songs is Spanish Sahara by Foals. Its sublime!

youtube

So I’d say I’m mainly inspired by these artists: Queen, Arctic Monkeys, Foals, Radiohead, Bowie, Daughter, Bob Dylan, Beirut, Yeah yeah yeahs, Arcade Fire, The National, Joy Division, Blur, Warpaint, Gorillaz, Sufjan Stevens, Bon Iver, Chet Baker, The Cure, Courtney Barnett, The Maccabees, Car Seat Headrest, Florence + The Machine, Editors, Kasabian, Crystal Fighters, Death Cab for a cutie, The Doors, Efterklang, Explosions in the Sky, Franz Ferdinand, The Horrors, James Blake, José Gonzalez, Los Campesinos!, Metronomy, Nick Cave, Nina Simone, Patrick Watson, Phoenix, Sharon Van Etten, The Shins, Simon & Garfunkel, The Smiths, St.Vincent, The Strokes, Toro y Moi, tricot, Tune-Yards, TV on the radio, Unknown Mortal Orchestra, The Vaccines, Vampire Weekend, The Velvet Underground, The War on Drugs, Wild Beasts and Yo La Tengo.

And the electro, pop and hip-hop groves of my heart: EXO, 2NE1, Janelle Monáe, Big Bang, Kris Wu,LCD soundsystem, SBTRKT, Childish Gambino, Frank Ocean, Kendrick Lamar and Daft Punk.

And special mentions to the portuguese ones (learning from yixing and promoting when i can :P): Capicua, Joana Espadinha, The Legendary Tigerman, Linda Martini, Mayra Andrade, Noiserv, Ornatos Violeta, Paus, Samuel Uria, You Can’t Win Charlie Brown and The Silence 4. I know, tldr right? Sorry folks! 9. Have you ever fallen in love? Yes I have. I have mistaken a crush for love too. But i have definitely been very deeply in love. A wrecked kintsugi heart over here people! 10. What’s your dream date? I don’t think I have one. I’d love to do something unique with that someone special, something special for the two of us. It could be as simple as riding the subway while sharing earphones & listening to our playlist or walking the dogs out! Idk, I’m easy to please. But right now it would have to be with this handsome man :D pretty please?!

11. What do others notice about you? I am very kind and warm hearted, so I think that’s what people first notice when meeting me. Although I maintain good eye contact, I am also timid and will be quieter if there are very energetic people in the group. When alone, I usually take the first step and try to meet people, but only if i really must. 12. What’s an annoying habit you have? It’s really hard for me to ask for help. I also like to tell detailed descriptions of everything... Couldn’t you tell? 13. Do you still talk to your first love? I’ll text him on his birthday and he does the same to me. We met when we were 10 years old and that childhood friendship remains. But regarding my one and truly deep relationship, no we do not talk, unless we randomly meet.

14. How many exes do you have? I have three exes. The first love who was just an idealized crush on my childhood friend: we dated for 2 weeks during summer break xD Then my first real boyfriend, we met in my first year at university, dated for quite some time, he really loved me and made me love myself a little more. Finally the one i loved too much. I mended his wounds and made him love himself as much as I did. I always say all the love we feel makes our hearts grow bigger. I do not regret loving any of them, I am me now due to them and I would not change it if I could. 15. How many songs are in your playlist? I have way too many playlists for each and every mood... But my favourite songs list on spotify has about 1500 songs! uwu! 16. What instruments can you play? Triangles and flute?! I had mandatory music classes in school... so in reality I can’t really play a instrument...

17. Who do you have the most pictures of? Probably my cat, Sushi. With a second close of my doodles and sketches.

18. Where would you like to go before you die? EVERY WHERE!!! But I really want to go to Japan and Scotland and Iceland and South Korea and New Zealand and i’ll shut up. 19. What’s your zodiac? Capricorn. 20. Do you relate to it? Sort of.

21. What is happiness to you? You know when it’s really cold outside in the winter and you manage to find a sheltered place where no wind can hit you and you still get to feel the warm rays of the winter suns on your skin? You hear the birds outside and you are contempt in that moment, at peace. That is happiness to me. 22. Are you going through anything right now? Yes, I am a bit lost. Trying to finish my thesis and trying to find what I want to do after. It’s liberating but also pretty scary. 23. What’s the worst decision you ever made? It’s a series of small decisions really. It started with going for a phd with the same people i worked in my msc. Should have gone to a different place. Then deciding to come home after a traumatic loss in the family. Should have kept my life going but I stalled it then. (I don’t regret helping my loved ones though).

24. What’s your favourite store? Probably Wishtrend for beauty stuff. Other than that I don’t have any favourite brands/stores. 25. (HALFWAY!) What’s your opinion on abortion? I think everyone is free to decide what they want or need to do. I couldn’t possible judge. If I would it? Probably not.

27. Do you have a favourite album? I don’t think so, I have favourite tunes for different moods and moments in my life. But if threatened with my life, I’d maybe say Total Life Forever from Foals.

28. What do you want for your birthday? It’s such a long time until my birthday comes! But maybe a real EXO ot9 reunion as a goodbye to Minseok?

29. What is most people’s first impression of you? Friendly and easy to open up to, i think.

30. What age do you seem according to most people? In real life, people usually think I am way younger than I am. 31. Where do you keep your phone when you’re sleeping? In the crook of my bed, between the mattress and the bed frame.

32. What word do you say the most? No idea really! 33. What’s the oldest age you’d date? 40s? I don’t think too much about age actually.

34. What’s the youngest age you’d date? 20s? Again not very important to me. Love is love, whomever, whenever and wherever <3

35. What job / career do most people say would suit you? I don’t know! People always say i don’t totally fit in anything... so there’s that. If you have an idea please let me know! 36. What’s your favourite music genre? Go back to question 8. I listen to everything! :D 37. If you could live in any country in the world where would it be? I’d like to live around the world, every few months a different place and get to know different cultures.

38. What is your current favourite song? I’ve been obsessed with RM’s intro/teaser song, Map of the Soul: Persona. (I’m not even a bts fan, but this music and lyrics just touched me a lot.)

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39. How long have you had this blog for? I think for about 6 years? It’s my personal space, where I dump all my obsessions.

40. What are you excited for? I’m visiting some friends in Granada in a couple of weeks. Yay, tapas!

41. Are you a better talker or listener? Normally I am a better listener. But there are a few people to whom i open like a book. Either words flow right out of me without even thinking or they see throw me. Those truly are my people.

42. What is the last productive thing you did? Prepped meals and cleaned the kitchen. Open the folder and file of my thesis. Read the latest chapter I wrote. 43. What do you want for Christmas? Well, just like for my birthday, there is still such a long time to it! But let’s say i want to have already finish this part of my life and want to find my next adventure.

44. What class do you get the best grades in? No more exams! Ehehe! But I used to have good grades at everything. Physical Education was my lowest mark i think.

45. On a scale of 1-10 how do you feel right now? Right now, a 4? I have a headache.

46. What can you see yourself doing in 10 years? Smiling? :D I want to be happy in my own skin. To feel contempt in my life, doing something that gives me a sense of purpose and having time to share and enjoy with my friends and family. 47. When did you get your first heartbreak? Oh my kintsugi heart has been broken quiet a lot. By friends and lovers and even by myself. I keep patching it up with gold dreams though. 48. At what age do you wanna be married? I will only want to be married if i find the one. So until then I guess.

49. What career did you want to have as a child? I wanted to be an astronaut and a ballerina. Preferably both!

50. What do you crave right now? Just sitting somewhere and listening to Yeol play the guitar.

Well i finished it! :D I’ll tag @thedeviousdo @ohsenhun @hongseok and @paepsi. I’d love to read yours! Feel free to dismiss it though, it is quite a lot. Lots of love everyone!! <3 <3 <3

#50 questions tag #personal #sam's ramblings #mutuals #hope you enjoy reading about boring old me :)#it's very long i know! i talk too much

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