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blockgamepirate · 3 months

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This is my petty complaint time, this video annoys me SO MUCH and even more so what annoys me is that the latest comment on it is this:

HE TAUGHT YOU SO MUCH BULLSHIT, PLEASE NO, DON'T LISTEN TO HIM

And yes, I've been thinking about this stream for nearly three years now, I've been meaning to go through it to critique Wilbur's arguments, I just never got around to it

Wilbur: "Tubbo, you've created an anti-state capitalist dystopia"

So all Tubbo had explained so far was that his town had a big company that owned two other big companies. Nothing about the government or anything. It's true that one company owning all the major businesses is pretty dystopian, sure, but I have no idea where Wilbur got the "anti-state" thing from, usually capitalist companies are fine with the existence of states, states do a lot of dirty work for the capitalists

Spoiler alert: Tubbo's city turns out to be pretty much a city state so Wilbur is just wrong anyway, not that he ever acknowledges it even when it does come up

Also it's not like corporate acquisitions are completely unheard of in the UK, as far as I know. Admittedly the UK is also arguably a capitalist dystopia but you know what I mean, the concept shouldn't be all that shocking to Wilbur

He's being so dramatic and trying to make it sound like he's caught Tubbo in a mistake or something. He also keeps asking questions and then not letting Tubbo answer properly before taking like one word Tubbo says and running with it

But this is the one that I find the most obnoxious:

T: "I did some research into like economics and stuff and I discovered this thing called UBI, have you heard of it?"

W: "What's it stand for?"

T: "Universal Basic Income"

W: "Yeah, I know about that"

He clearly does not know what UBI is.

It becomes very apparent very quickly:

W: "So you've got universal basic income but then also the rich exist still?"

T: "Yeah! Yeah they do."

W: "How does that come about then,"

T: "So in my mind--"

W: "is this universal basic income different for different people?"

T: "No, no, the universal basic income is better for everyone, just the people who have--"

W: "In order for there to be a 1% that means someone's earning more,"

T: "Yes, someone is earning more"

W: "but that means the universal basic income isn't universal!"

T: "No no no, not everyone's getting paid the same but everyone gets the same to begin with, okay? But then you can build on top of it."

W: "Oh no, you've got a-- Tubbo, you've got a fucking social point system!"

T: "Have I made a social point system??"

W: "Tubbo, you've made China!"

None of what Wilbur says makes ANY sense here. The only explanation I can think of is that he didn't know what UBI was, made an assumption that it just meant "everybody gets paid the same amount of money" or something like that and then just spoke fast enough that Tubbo couldn't correct him

Tubbo is correct here, Tubbo knows what he's talking about, but he can't out-speak Wilbur who is just throwing so much bullshit out of his mouth that there's no time to even respond

So, UBI means that everyone in the society gets a regular payment of a specific amount of money that's the same for everyone regardless of their life situation (and generally a requirement would be that it has to be enough to live on, altho people do like to water this down a lot...) This would be completely irrelevant to your wages or salary or capital gains. You can choose to either live on the UBI or you can just do the regular capitalist things to earn extra money on top of the UBI

Obviously I'm not one of those people who think that UBI would solve all of world's problems, I mean I am an anarchist and all (and not an ancap either), but it's literally just a very streamlined welfare system. That's all. It would probably be a lot better than the current models we have but it's not fundamentally different. There's nothing particularly weird about it, the point is just to make sure that everyone has enough money to live on, in every other regard it's just normal capitalism

Wilbur completely misunderstands the whole thing (because, again, he does not know what UBI is so he's just trying to imagine what it might mean based on what Tubbo is saying) and jumps immediately to something he apparently has heard of, which is the Chinese social credit system, which has nothing to do with UBI. In fact I'm pretty sure it also doesn't actually have anything to do with income either, or at least not directly, so I don't think Wilbur knows what the social credit system is either

He's literally just talking in buzzwords

Like if you actually wanted to make a leftist critique of Tubbo's city, you could, don't get me wrong. But instead Wilbur keeps insisting that he's made a social point system despite Tubbo trying to explain why it's not that at all

Wilbur just keeps yelling over Tubbo until his own chat turns against him and finally Tubbo himself also kinda gives up

And from there Tubbo also kinda just starts playing into the bit and just lets Wilbur direct the whole conversation, the rest of it is just them getting more and more into the roleplay. Wilbur keeps talking about the state pension plan, even though Tubbo already tried to explain that it's part of the UBI (this actually is how UBI is supposed to work, it does indeed streamline most of the welfare spending! Obviously you can still raise questions about that (I can think of a few at least) but Wilbur didn't let Tubbo explain so I have no idea what Tubbo actually had in mind)

I could try to go through all of what Wilbur says here but it's just too much, so maybe some other time. Although to be honest there are so many other streams that I probably should talk about instead that some fans unfortunately took a bit too seriously because they assumed Wilbur knew what he was talking about

My point here is mainly that just because someone sounds really confident and knows a bunch of buzzwords doesn't mean they know what they're talking about.

#wilbur soot #tubbo #this is literally just petty grumbling #not a serious post #altho i do genuinely hope that people reconsider all the things they've 'learned' from wilbur

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qqueenofhades · 3 months

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The thing that confuses me about the "don't vote" left (not the "I don't want to vote", I'm talking explicitly the "don't vote" left. I don't agree with the "I don't want to vote" left either but I can understand their logic) is they lose me at the final step of the logic. I've tried to connect the logic here, even if I don't agree with a political position I do try to understand where people are coming from (empathy for someones situation is not the same as cosigning it), but I just can't connect the dots here in a way that isn't deeply cruel. Does United States politics prioritize the lives of those in the US (and often white) over those in the Global South? Yes, it's a fucking atrocity. We should continue to make noise about it, cus Biden has used less drones and that shows progress, even if it's not enough. The part where I lose the plot is where the conclusion to this injustice is to let even more people die? Cus that's kinda how I see the idea of not voting: I can pick between shit and more shit, and at the end of the day, I'm picking whoever allows the most people to make it to the next day. Given Trumps stance on everything but specifically climate change, I feel like Biden is pretty significant harm reduction.

I don't think both things can't be true: that every life lost is a travesty we should not forget AND the more people we can save is worth fighting for.

The thing is, I have seen nothing among the "don't vote" far left (and I am talking here specifically about the people who both loudly announce their intention not to vote and try to convince others to do the same) to convince me that they actually care about harm reduction or stopping genocide. They only care about what makes them look the most Correct and/or superior to the Democrats. They yelled bloody murder about Obama using drones, they went dead quiet about Trump using them even more (even when he nearly started WWIII by assassinating the Iranian general Soleimani with one), and then said nothing at all when Biden reduced the drone program to almost nothing and withdrew the US from a failed war in Afghanistan it had long ago lost. Now they will yell all day about Israel/Hamas (something that Biden did not start and has had no direct military role in responding to) but they don't care about Russian genocide of Ukraine and Syria, Chinese threats to invade Taiwan, etc, because those governments are "anti-western/anti-American" and therefore should be defended. Their opposition to human suffering is extremely conditional and rests on whether they can look good out of it, and they never interrogate the hypocrisies of their own ideology.

Likewise: every country in the world prizes its own citizens above those of other countries. It's just a basic fact. Yes, the US has a grim history of intervening in other countries and causing untold civilian damage (especially during the Cold War and then in post-9/11 War on Terrorism). Yes, that legacy is complex and needs to be acknowledged. But literally none of that will be fixed, not to mention all the vulnerable people in America itself who will be punished, by Trump getting into power again. Biden is not just a grudging "lesser evil," but has done a lot of truly good and helpful things, regardless of the Online Leftists' constant lies, misinformation, and misrepresentation. If you spend all your time announcing what a champion you are for non-American marginalised people and/or those undergoing terrible suffering, and then deliberately and knowingly adhere to a course of action that will increase that suffering tenfold not only for those people but your own neighbors, friends, and family, then no, I don't believe you are a brave champion of social justice. You just want to know what categories of people you can gleefully and righteously punish and make to suffer for not believing the same things as you, that makes you just as dangerous as the right-wing fascists, and I can and will call out your ass accordingly.

#anonymous #ask #politics for ts

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see-arcane · 15 days

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I am almost fine with people saying he has one brain cell, because I have seen dozens of people make the worse claim that he is "an arrogant, smug, proud of his rationality Victorian who laughs at the locals for their superstitions."

It is such a prevalent assesment that it's now considered a core character trait of his. When today's entry indicates nothing of the sort.

UH OH, YOU’VE ACTIVATED MY TANGENT CARD

(Text Brick Incoming)

Jonathan’s fundamental flaw at this stage does involve looking down on or viewing the locals and their traditions as quaint/idolatrous/ridiculous et al. He uses poor terminology too, owing to the Doylist reason of his author’s knowledge and biases, while the Watsonian reason is easy enough to read as Jonathan 1) Having to rely solely on biased/incomplete knowledge from his homeland’s writings on the place and 2) What I think is him trying to overcompensate as a trained reflex

I’ve always pictured Jonathan and Mina as having not only a lower social and monetary standing, but possibly a hindrance of race. (Case in point, I suspect a certain unique prop Jonathan brandishes later on is something he inherited, not something picked up by happenstance.)

That said—they are poor, they are not the idealized picture of the fair English Citizen…but they are both polite, charming, hardworking, and masters of ~making friends~ as a defense mechanism. And I’d bet money that included relying on what few positive nods their peers allowed.

“You’re so nice! So industrious! Your physiognomy really counters your origins! And you are wise enough to look down on those silly foreigners, aren’t you? Of course you are! You’re one of the good ones.”

Now, regardless of what headcanon is landed on as far as race/ethnicity/other backgrounds go, those last points are key. Because they go towards Being a Good Englishman/woman. Being wiser than to buy into fretting non-English superstitions. Knowing to ogle the people of other lands like curiosities in a zoo. Judging people by their face or the shape of their skull. This is the Norm. This is Good of the Victorian Englishman Abroad.

And we see Jonathan hold to all these stereotypes…to a degree. But we see within these same early entries that his instincts and general good nature chafe against that social training. He’s too much himself to do entirely as a Proper Englishman should.

He went out of his way to study all the limited info he had access to, incomplete or half-informed as it was. He delighted in learning everything he could of the places and people as he traveled, wanting to embrace and be educated on the land. And even when a lifetime of advising against it, of insistence upon derision, tried to take over when the crucifix was offered? He still accepted it. He still wears it even when the old woman departs, whether or not he believes in its importance.

And, vitally, his instincts are very Very awake to the fact that Something is Off. A Proper Englishman (and many an oblivious or stubborn dad in a ghostly horror movie) would shrug this unease off at once. But Jonathan doesn’t. He remains on Dracula’s route only because he has no other choice. All he does is mention quietly that he hopes Mina gets his diary if he happens to die on this journey.

Imagine that. Bracing for and acknowledging the sense that You Might Die on This Little Business Trip and just…having to go along with it. Because what will you tell your boss otherwise? What will you tell your fiancée?

These aren’t the concerns of a well-off stuffy snob of a man. It’s the resignation of someone who understands they live on the lowest rung of the ladder and that they will risk losing what little progress they’ve made if they dare to turn back.

As for sneering at the locals’ superstitions, period, consider: How likely would anyone really be to suddenly believe in monsters after coming out of the background Jonathan has? What could possibly have convinced him of the reality of the situation OTHER THAN SEEING IT IN PERSON? (Note, a key plot point for certain other characters later!)

The point of his being unable to take the supernatural aspect at face value is that, well, Why Would Anyone Immediately Jump to a Supernatural Conclusion in His Place?

What possible context does he have here!? Maybe he should have read Dracula first, ha ha—

Oh wait. He can’t do that. Why?

Because this man has never read Dracula BECAUSE HE IS LIVING AND WRITING THE BOOK DRACULA!!

Anyway.

tl;dr: I am very tired of both the Stuffy Victorian Snobprick and Oblivious Idiotbaby takes on my good friend Jonathan Harker

#dude isn’t perfect #but he’s genuinely one of the most progressive male protagonists in all of that period’s literature #likely in ways Stoker didn’t even realize #he and Mina deserve worlds more credit than they’re given #jonathan harker #dracula #dracula daily #re: dracula

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thesherrinfordfacility · 10 months

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okay let's get them hard truths out in the open following episode 6, bearing in mind that i am in the UK and am therefore chronically sleep-deprived, and have watched the Feral Domestic™ maybe only like oh 7 times:

crowley is as much at fault as aziraphale. they are both as bad as each other. their own individual idiosyncrasies are literally the other's emotional downfall and if im honest im not entirely sure there's any way they can adequately move past it.

waxed on and on and on about it, but aziraphale's issue is not that he has any allegiance to heaven. he doesn't at all, and that is obvious in his initial reaction to the metatron, in that he essentially says that he knows his place and it is not Up Above. it is right there in the bookshop, and with crowley (even if he didn't consciously think it that explicitly at the time). he doesn't want any part of the heaven that it currently is, he has had enough and is tired of trying to be the angel that hides who he is and what he wants from his existence. that much is very much clear.

but the mantra throughout most of life is to be the change you want to see in the world. look at the major societal issues that are happening in the world today; people are rising up and fighting for what is right, and what they believe in, and wanting to make changes. now look at this opportunity that aziraphale has been given. regardless of the questionable motive of the metatron offering it to him; if you were in his position, could you say you'd find it easy to refuse that?

the issue here with aziraphale is that he (again, ill harp on about it until the cows come home) thinks that crowley - this demon that isn't a good demon because he is good and kind and gentle - would want to have his place in making that change happen; be by aziraphale's side whilst they create the world and heaven that is different from the largely shit one they've always known, hated, and feared. this is where the Pedestal comes in; like i said before, aziraphale has now been confronted with the fact that this demon, his best friend and love of his life, is acting in the way he's always acted but that aziraphale refuses to acknowledge... because to acknowledge crowley's shortcomings (which ill discuss in a sec) would be to question aziraphale's faith in him, and mean falling from the pedestal that has been aziraphale's status quo for the last few thousand years at minimum.

edit: this also needed adding because it touches on aziraphale's tendency to hold himself superior to crowley, which he also does in the Domestic scene.

crowley's issue is twofold. one, he cannot move on from the fall. second, that he is sometimes a manipulative and childish shit. the first is obvious, and his recent experiences with heaven have only compounded this (ie his conversation with gabriel/goob, where he lays into him about gabriel's part in the cruelty shown towards aziraphale to the point he almost makes goob kill/injure himself). crowley can also however be incredibly cruel borne out of his own pain. there were major hints in s2 that not only did crowley fall (no matter what the metatron says, im still not convinced he fell for only asking questions) but he fell from a great sodding height that in his mind should have made him untouchable. my thoughts on morality in heaven have already been discussed, but that must have had a huge impact on crowley; it is no wonder that it's a sore point and he feels bitter, resentful, and angry.

in the above context, id want nothing to do with heaven either. but crowley doesn't communicate and im guessing that his feelings about the fall are a No Go area in terms of what he's shared with aziraphale... so for crowley to assume that aziraphale turned down the metatron is grossly unfair - how was aziraphale necessarily meant to know how deep his trauma (if we're applying human mental health constructs) runs? he isn't to know that at all - so it does track that aziraphale would think that crowley would want to help him make a difference so they don't have to keep getting involved in the toxicity that is the heaven/hell politico-moral dichotomy.

what also upset me about the Domestic was the kiss. i loved it for what it was in isolation and it was a long time coming, and a huge movement in the dance they constantly have with each other, but it was in essence manipulative. i realise crowley was on his last emotional straw and yes, perhaps the love and devotion got too much for him to contain... but he literally just stood there and heard aziraphale tell him that he wanted crowley and he wanted them to be together. there were no qualms at all that aziraphale loves him as much as he loves aziraphale. so, what was the kiss meant to prove?

to my mind, it was manipulation; specific, a temptation. whilst very romantic and 'sweep him off his feet with the violins playing', it was also non-consensual and unwarranted on crowley's part - to the point of being derogatory and redundant (lets be clear: not a criticism on Neil for adding the kiss, im purely talking about crowley as a character and his Choices here). there was nothing to prove, nothing that that kiss could have possibly convinced aziraphale to do. so the only thing that leaves, imo, is that it was a temptation. crowley does not typically use temptation in this way, or at least that's the impression ive had throughout s1 and s2, so he chooses now is the time? to tempt aziraphale into staying with him? of course he does!

he's desperate, but also childish and immature and completely ignorant of what aziraphale is actually saying to him. aziraphale never denied him; aziraphale wanted him in this opportunity exactly by his side as he always has been. but that didn't fit with what crowley wanted, so he tried to make aziraphale bend to his will. aziraphale says the fatal words "i forgive you", but if he has (as i suspect he has) realised that crowley was trying to manipulate him... well, id probably say something as damning to crowley as 'i forgive you' too.

when aziraphale said 'nothing last forever', i realise crowley took that to mean him and the life that they built together, but it obviously wasn't that at all. aziraphale is saying that they have eternity ahead of them, that he wants to spend it with crowley, whatever has to end around them (ahem the world? apocalypse from s1, anyone?). aziraphale demonstrated consistently throughout s2 that he is trying to give crowley his own agency where heaven/hell are concerned (paraphrased but: "I want you to help me but if you don't want to, you are free to leave"). crowley however seemed that he was constantly one foot out the door in case things got Too Much (which, you know - valid) but aziraphale really did his best to make crowley not only not feel suffocated but also that crowley was wanted. and for anyone that is a tough balancing act.

the two of them have had 6000+ years of Not Really Communicating. this is the detritus that remains when they don't, and it was absolutely needed in this season. for them to break apart and break in and of themselves. s3 needs to be where they learn more about themselves than each other, and stop believing that the other is infallible, because such thinking - worship, blind faith - only ends badly.

#good omens #not the analysis this fandom wants #but the analysis that it needs #i will proof read this at some point so if shit doesnt read well or make sense just pretend that it does #aziraphale meta #s2 meta #feral domestic/final fifteen meta

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ecoamerica · 2 months

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youtube

Watch the American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 now: https://youtu.be/bWiW4Rp8vF0?feature=shared

The American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 broadcast recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by active climate leaders. Watch to find out which finalist received the $50,000 grand prize! Hosted by Vanessa Hauc and featuring Bill McKibben and Katharine Hayhoe!

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papayajuan2019 · 10 months

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how to fall in love with life?

i feel unqualified to answer, im so mentally ill, but i'll try. also, im drunk, so excuse the incongruency. if youre looking to fall in love with life, and youre asking someone who is also hurting, it's likely you have not been given what you deserve throughout your life. please acknowledge you have always deserved the love life has to offer, the sweet moments of connection and warmth. what took that love from you was not fair; grieve it entirely. you always deserved to fall in love with life. let it hurt entirely. please do not be afraid of the hurt. it's proof the love has always belonged to you. please hurt entirely, it's necessary to let the love in. dont let the shame stop you from hurting. please, i know this sounds counterintuitive, let yourself feel so fucking hurt. it doesnt mean you have to be angry, or righteous, or demand answers, just let it hurt. cry, or be sad. acceptance that things are not right is key.

after that, learn to be childlike again. learn to be scared again without baggage. learn to play games without remorse. learn to make art again, regardless of talent. be open, even while being so scared. find the right people to be open to (read: platonic people, do not go looking for romantic openness, that is for later on). love of life6 requires finding the right people to be open to. do not find those people online, or at the very least, dont let the online people be the key people. find people in the real world (if youre like me, that is real fucking scary. but it cant be done any other way. it has to be people whose reaction you can see physically in real time).

after that, just be you. the person you have been reluctant to be. be overwhelming. be sad. be fun. go out in nature. find outlets (up to you. could be physical activity, or writing, or nature appreciation, or other types of art, could be sex, could be platonic activity. everyone is different, dont judge what finds you).

basically, be the version of you that you knew was always true. be messy. be earnest. find safety, which, paradoxically, requires a bit of risk first. be so scared. love requires undoing the baggage put on you, which, in turn, requires a bit of fear.

sorry if this doesnt make any sense. i am still in the process of falling in love with life. if you fail at it this time, try again later. i love you

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lakesbian · 5 months

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i was pondering some Thoughts about how people sometimes refer to worm as a "found family" story (& how this is sometimes mocked), how in-text alec explicitly says that the undersiders are the closest thing rachel has to family, how taylor tells them "you're my family, in a way," how the found family trope works in general, etc.

access to financial support, housing, medical care, And So On, is primarily attached to the institution of the family. the material necessities provided by membership to a nuclear family are why it's so common for people to reconcile with or keep in touch with family members they wouldn't if there was no material value attached to that relationship. the cultural prioritization of the nuclear family is how we get people offering "well, they're family" as an explanation for remaining associated with someone they wouldn't otherwise care about (or would even actively be trying to escape from, but this post is more about just Social Incompatibility in families than the outright abuse that the structure enables), with the expectation that the explanation is considered to make inherent sense.

aside from the found family trope demonstrating a lack of imagination about non-familial ways important relationships can take shape/demonstrating an inability to see relationships as truly important or deep unless they mimic the nuclear family, i think a lot of what appeals about the found family trope is a character dynamic that provides the same support, security, and undying love/depth of connection that the idealized nuclear family is purported to--and that does so as an escape from and superior replacement to the original blood family.

and what's interesting about the undersiders is that they're extremely not that. they're terrible at communicating. many of them don't get on with each other very well. they're oftentimes even actively shitty to each other: everyone but taylor towards rachel, brian towards alec (and aisha, but she's actually related to him), taylor towards alec and aisha. but there's still repeated in-text acknowledgement of a supposed familial dynamic between them! i think they're a "found family" in the sense that their group imitates the general role of the nuclear family--a small unit of people who (are supposed to) function as each other's fundamental supports in a world that, at large, does not care about any individual member, and who (are supposed to) do so regardless of any internal conflicts or lack of compatibility.

like, this is not a particularly articulate analysis of the nuclear family Whatsoever, but i don't think it's inaccurate to say that the compelling thing about the undersiders is that they are a "found family," but specifically in the sense that a lot of their dysfunctions are reminiscent of those found in typical, real-life familial bonds--people who wouldn't necessarily be getting along otherwise, or are even actively sorta bad for each other, forming very deep & intimate connections simply because they're materially forced to spend a lot of time together and have each others backs when there's no guarantee anyone else will.

for example: alec and aisha call taylor + brian 'team mom and dad' in a mocking manner not to indicate that they're kind/caring, but to indicate that they're being condescending micro-managing assholes...who aisha and alec are going to unquestionably listen to anyway, because they're a team, right? and you have to listen to your team leaders. i am onto an Observation here i think. deeply compelled by the idea of a ""found family"" where all of the similarities to an actual nuclear family are, despite being what drives the intimacy, also blatantly fucking dysfunctional

#worm spoilers #parahumans #wormblr #ive connected the dots. you havent connected shit

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furiousgoldfish · 2 months

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(tw mention of suicidal thoughts)

Alright so I am writing this because I can't find anyone to talk to, and my brain is letting me know that I need to talk about it somewhere.

I am falling depressed, and I'm unsure if it's genuine depression, or some sort of deep grief that is just feeling very similar. And I've already looked up what you're supposed to do if you're trying to break out of depression; I am sleeping full 8 hours on a regular sleep schedule, I shower regularly, I do my best to eat regular meals (sometimes it doesn't happen due to lack of energy), if I have any energy left in me, I take a little walk, I pay attention to my surroundings. I do my best to answer messages and to socialize, even superficially, with the people I see.

However, despite me doing all that, the deep feeling of sadness is persevering, in fact it gets worse after my walks, I end up going home in worse feeling of dread than before.

I was going to keep trying to break out of it, and then today something bad and triggering happened, and my mind just went very dark. Like what is even the point anymore? I started considering if anyone around me would be impacted by my suicide. And then just tried to dissociate from the bad thing that happened, tried to create reality in which it didn't. Like I could ignore it out of existence. Like maybe if I just curl up over there and never look at anything ever again, maybe then bad things would go away.

I tried to comfort myself thinking I could, at least, tell people around me and see if anyone would say anything kind or helpful, but people around me did not care at all, would go on about their troubles instead and looked at me like I was weirdo for complaining. Which again, made me feel like talking to people was the worst idea ever and like I was dumb for even engaging, I should have known I'm alone in this.

So now I'm back to sinking down in my grief, occasionally getting numb from it and sinking again. I had periods, years of grief in the past, and it just feels like you're slowly dying, right, and it doesn't stop and it feels suffocating and like you'd do anything for it to stop. But also in the past, I knew what I was grieving; it was the loss of my delusion of family, loss of hope that I will have family members who are in any way safe for me, loss of security and safety that comes with family, acknowledgment that I was abandoned and left with predators for the most of my life. I thought I was done grieving about all that, because for a while I just didn't think about it, and it didn't bother me. I don't think that's what I'm grieving now.

It's actually hard to pinpoint it, because my memories are mostly gone, but I think it's the loss of friendships in my life. I've tried hard to build connections with other people, even as scared and reluctant I was feeling about it, but it always fell trough, and left me feeling with less hope. The ends of friendships were so traumatic for me, that my memories of the entire friendships got deleted. And I can tell right now that hearing anything about people having friends, spending time together and helping each other, that usually sets my grief off, and causes me to start crying regardless of where I am. I tried to recall my past memories of friendships, but all I get back are things I never want to feel or live trough again. Every memory feels like enough reason never to interact with a person again, all of them cut so deep I have to dissociate from them right away.

And basically I don't know what to do. I am losing every bit of my willpower or energy to do anything. Even with my best efforts to stay upright, to interact with my environment and go to walks, I'm only out of bed while I'm working. And I'm randomly bursting into tears and collapsing while I'm doing my job. I am messing up basic tasks. There isn't any activity that isn't exhausting. And everything I cared about feels like nothing to me. I can't even imagine a future, which is usually what I did to pull myself out of bad moods, I would imagine a future where I had a home of my own, and security that I would be able to survive there without having to fight for my life. Now it feels like even if I had that, I would just still want to die.

I've been slowly falling into this place for months, but it is more real today than at any time before. I've put so much effort not to end up feeling like this but... it only makes me more sad to know I'm in this mess anyway. I don't know what to do. I've tried interacting with people, I've tried befriending people, every new interaction feels like it's going to drown me further.

#tw suicidal thoughts #tw mentions of wanting to die #grief #depression #feeling stuck #did anyone ever get out of this mess #without needing another person to be kind to them

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greenfinchwriter · 14 days

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Okay so I debated posting this for a long time but it won't stop bothering me. Before you come for me,all I ask is that you hear me out, and that my intention with this post is NOT to not to attack anyone.

Here we go: Alana Bloom is not a good person. That is pre-moral-decay arc.

Why am I saying this?

It is NOT because:

She's a woman

queer

Female professional in a male dominated field

Somehow "standing between Hannigram"

It IS because,in my very subjective opinion as 1 autistic person, she is a prime example of a self-righteous "Autism Speaks/Facebook Autism Mom" with a degree.

Personally the most insidious kind of allistic ableist to encounter. It took me a long time to recognize that this kind of person is not any less harmful,or bigoted,and they are by far the most difficult to call out. Why? Because they are what neurotypical people see as "nice,well-intentioned,altruistic,allies, compassionate,self-sacrificing" etc, this goes double if you have a degree to cement your authority. Trying to even gently explain to them how and why their behavior is not okay from an actual neurodivergent point of view will always be met with more outrage by other neurotypicals than calling out someone who is outright,loud and proud hostile in their ableism. A similar concept to other subtle, covert forms of bigotry.

Alana is a worse therapist than Hannibal, and hell,even Bedelia. She's on par with Chilton.

Because she is "normal", "nice", and "sweet" it is easily overlooked just how not only ableist but emotionally manipulative she is. She is just as bad as Sutcliffe,or any other professional who sees Will as an exotic case study,and her "fascination" with Will echoes Freddie's. I don't doubt that she genuinely thinks of herself as a "good person who cares about/for Will", and that she firmly believes to be "well-intentioned",and "morally surperior". But she really isn't. Her behavior towards Will is NOT okay. She did and does use,and infantilize him,she does manipulate him,be that consciously or subconsciously. But whereas we make "excuses" for Hannibal, and don't really expect him to act differently because of his pathology,his "nature",his way of thinking etc. We do not hold the "normal" people like Alana to the same measure.

That's why I get angry when people regurgitate Chilton's talking points about Will,and demonize him.

It is far more nuanced,and complex than that.

Imho, in this show (apart from the dogs) there are no "pure" characters. And to deny Alana is not fundamentally flawed,and yes ableist character because "feminism!" could in and of itself be misogynistic. A person can be a bigot regardless of gender,race/ethnicity/culture,religion etc. They can be so without actively meaning harm,or even being really all that aware that their 'good intentions' are destructive. If such a person is willing to learn and change,than that's good. No such thing as doomed. But most of her "with a degree" types will die on their hills,and be affronted by the accusation that their oh so "noble" attitudes might actually be anything but.

I am NOT bird app accusing anyone who likes her character of being any of those terms,to stop liking her,or that she is "worse" but I am saying that just as we acknowledge Hannibal's flaws,can (meta) decry his actions,and still call him Blorbo and fiercely ship Hannigram,we should also be able to do so with Alana.

The "normal" ones aren't always the "good ones".

That is why I dislike Alana,and I just don't like being accused of merely disliking her for being a queer woman,or the infantile notion that she was "in the way of Hannigram". I have my HIGHLY PERSONAL,SUBJECTIVE BUT TO ME VALID,UNRELATED REASONS I dislike her. Not because she read a weird book to Abigail. Or anything else that has recently come up in the fandom.

You don't have to dislike her. It's okay if you like her. It's okay if she's your favorite,your obsession,or you just find her sexy. It's perfectly fine if you ship Marlana,or ship her with Hannibal. I'm not posting this to lecture,or convert anyone. I couldn't be happier for you if you like her and/or find comfort in her character.

What I do have issues with is seeing her idealized without legitimate discourse about her character.

No,I don't think of Will or Hannibal as pure cherubs without fault but I have had enough about the angel-ification of Alana,and reimagining of Will as darker/more monstrous/misanthropic than he is.

That is my perspective. You don't have to agree with it - not if you are autistic/neurodivergent as well,or if you are neurotypical. You really don't have to. That's okay! I respect that,and you!

So respectfully,gently,please let one autistic person of many explain her discomfort with her character,or maybe offer food for thought to some.

There is more I could say but I'll leave it at that.

Sorry if I upset anyone,and for not being more eloquent about this,I hope what I was trying to express came across well enough.

#nbc hannibal #hannibal #hannibal meta #alana bloom #text post #im sorry #actually autistic #autistic experiences

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rainbowsky · 3 months

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Here's a bit more fandom history for everyone.

It's been a long time since I've heard this incident talked about, but I guess turtles are reminiscing a bit about the kind of things GG's fans subject him to, and this has come back up.

Back in 2019 when GG was in Nanjing for The Untamed fan meet, a hotel staff member left this adorable Jianguo pillow with a little note 'from Jianguo' wishing him success with the concert. GG clearly enjoyed it because he posted it on his Oasis.

At first shrimps were enjoying it because they assumed it was a shrimp who'd done it, but when they realized it was a turtle they freaked out and launched a major cyberbullying campaign against the turtle and flooded the hotel with hundreds of phone calls complaining and trying to get her fired. Some of them threatened to keep calling the hotel every day and overwhelm the phone lines until she was fired.

GG had no choice but to delete the photo. He replaced it with a solid black image, and put the line, "post whatever you want" in his profile.

Just imagine how awful he must have felt, that his fans attacked and harassed a sweet fan who'd made him a lovely gift, nearly getting her fired - all from a post he made showing his appreciation for this cute, thoughtful gift.

If you wonder why GG and DD don't acknowledge turtles and why GG hasn't mentioned XFX by name in years, this is a bit of a clue as to why. GG especially has a lot of reason to be wary of being too personal and open with fans (and no doubt 227 didn't help with that at all). GG and DD know that acknowledging turtles will only harm them and lead to more hate and war from solos.

And GG has repeatedly said - including in his statement on the anniversary of 227, which was the first time he made a direct personal statement about it - that he doesn't believe anyone should identify as "I am ___'s fan."

"I want to tell my fans, everyone has the right to like and hate. No matter if you like or hate, it should be respected and allowed in their own spaces. Of course, this right should be based on rationality and not hurting other people, while following accurate values. I hope that my fans can understand that no matter what field or age, your personal likes and actions shouldn't cross the line or go against that field's ethics or morals. No matter if it's on the Internet or in real life, everyone should be responsible for their own actions. Even more, hope that none of us should be represented by the label 'xxx's fan.'"

GG realizes something that XFX can't seem to get through their heads: when you speak of "fans of Xiao Zhan," that is not synonymous with "XFX," no matter how much they would like everyone to believe that they're his only fan group. Actually, turtles are GG's fans also, as are all people who love and support GG, regardless of how they identify themselves and regardless of how deep or casual is their appreciation for him.

So pretty much ever since this era, and especially after 227, you never hear GG refer to his solo fandom by name. And I don't think that's because he has contempt or disregard for them (although I don't doubt he must harbor 'feelings' about everything they've put him through), rather I think it's because he wants to be inclusive toward all of his supporters, and not let it be thought that he doesn't appreciate everyone, regardless of 'affiliation'.

#bjyx #yizhan #bxg ggdd #solos belong to moling su sect #it's in the air it's all around

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naranjapetrificada · 7 months

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Izzy becomes a "real boy"

So obviously I haven't been able to shut up about the way Izzy has been written in season 2 and I stand by my disappointment and criticism, even knowing that the writers were given a herculean task of cramming 10 pounds of season into an 8 pound bag. Even knowing that, his "arc" such as it is has felt very off to a lot of people, present company included. I'm a cogitator at heart (thanks AuDHD!) and that can turn "make it make sense" into a prime directive sometimes. So here I am, trying once again.

I felt a particular way about Izzy after the end of season 1, which I would describe as "not especially strongly" because I primarily saw his character as a storytelling tool/useful foil more than anything else. But his presence and characterization in season 2 have been haunting me this time and not in a good way, because I've spent this season trying and failing to make it make sense. But something just occurred to me that I hope I can explain in a coherent way:

If season 1 Izzy was more a storytelling tool than anything else, maybe season 2 was an attempt to turn the puppet into a Real Boy. And if so, maybe things did not go as planned.

There are so, so many good posts going into the things that don't work about how Izzy has been handled this season, to the point that I'm not gonna try reinventing the wheel. Some of the reasons it hasn't worked for some of us include:

Much of his alleged growth apparently happening offscreen, most likely due to the reduced budget and episode count.

The lack of connective tissue between many of his scenes, some of which can be attributed to the previous point about corporate fuckery but other parts of which are hard to explain beyond "idk I guess the writers felt like it?"

The unfortunate connotations of sidelining nonwhite characters like Jim, who was the only character beyond the central pair to receive a detailed backstory, flashbacks, and a multi-episode character arc

The unchecked racialized comments he gets to drop about Edward (calling him a "wild dog" or seemingly mixing him up with Roach) that in season 1, would have resulted in violent retribution as a sign of the story's disapproval

The lines we get from Izzy that feel like they should have been said by other characters, and maybe that would have been based on the expectations of the show that we left season 1 with

The way it seems like Izzy's suffering is being used as a stand-in for actual moments of reflection or atonement, which is a pretty fucked up dynamic to set up as precursor to redemption

The way Izzy now gets to partake in the very behaviors he denigrated in Ed last season, which would be a cool and moving character beat if there was a single, solitary narrative acknowledgement in the harm caused by his treatment of Ed in s1e10. Ditto for him apparently just being cool with shit that once would have been his worst nightmare.

The fact that so many of these issues could have been addressed in a quick throwaway line or two that showed that the narrative understood what was wrong to reassure us all because by definition if a character is getting a redemption arc, it's because they did something wrong, right?

There's plenty more of course, but that's not why I made this post. I made this post because regardless of why the decision was made to handle Izzy this way this season, the attempt was made to flesh him out in ways that his role last season may not have been initially written for. Con's performance and certain production choices hinted at a depth to his character that may or may not have been on the page, but helped make for a pretty interesting season 1 antagonist.

For season 2 they decided to make Izzy a real boy, but the combination of a reduced budget, a lower episode count, and whatever creative darlings they couldn't seem to kill in order to give us more development of his transformation made sticking the landing impossible because we're lacking certain elements for basic comprehension.

Imagine you know almost nothing of the story of Pinocchio and someone starts up the Disney movie version of it for you but it's a weirdly edited version of it. There's no narration from Jiminy Cricket, mostly because there's no Jiminy Cricket at all. We see Geppetto crafting a wooden puppet, but not the part where he wishes for him to be a real boy, which makes it kinda weird to then see the part where the fairy brings him to life and says he can become a real boy but okay, let's go with it.

Now let's say the one thing you've always heard about the story is that Pinocchio's nose grows when he lies. So we get to the scene where he lies to the fairy but for whatever reason, his nose doesn't grow. No one comments on the inconsistency, and when you mention the nose thing all anyone wants to talk about is how great Pinocchio's nose looks.

Then Pinocchio goes to Pleasure Island and while the animation and acting seem great as usual, and the language of cinema appears to be setting up something dark on the horizon. Then Pinocchio's new friend Lampwick starts transforming into a donkey, this random well-dressed cricket shows up to admonish Pinocchio, and our puppet friend is randomly immune to the thing turning other kids into donkeys. No one comments on that either. Maybe Pinocchio even gloats about it a little, which seems like a weird storytelling decision that merits a follow up discussion later.

And I guess this is the part of this over-extended metaphor where you remember you have somewhere to be but you'll finish the film later, because as an audience we won't know how things shake out for season 2 Izzy until the finale. Presumably we'll still get the scene where he magically turns into a real boy, but there isn't exactly time for anything else like all that stuff with the whale. Maybe the real boy scene will happen, but for whatever reason the animator kept drawing him like the wooden puppet and every time you point it out no one will take you seriously.

Wouldn't that be a weird thing to experience?

#ofmd #our flag means death #ofmd s2 spoilers #ofmd s2 #ofmd meta #izzy hands #izzy critical #not really critical but that tag is useful for people's filters #ofmd season 2 #ofmd spoilers #ofmd season 2 spoilers #our flag means death spoilers #tbh I don't even understand how Izzy fans feel good about his arc #if this happened to a secondary character I loved I would be pretty upset

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dottores · 4 months

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okay well, i logged back in, obviously, because there are clearly some things that need to be addressed and have been taken out of context. just because i’m leaving doesn’t mean i should sit here and let my name be smeared.

to preface this, anantaru and i had a discussion where we came to a congenial understanding of what happened, there's been an acknowledgment on both sides of misunderstanding and believing distorted rumors and people that we probably should not have, but i’m still going to give a full explanation as to the background of everything so you all can understand and come to your own opinions. plus, if there's going to be a call-out post directed majorly at me made, i want an official address of it.

please do NOT send any hate their way, we have ended this discussion on good terms and have worked out what exactly was stirring this discourse between us. (spoiler alert: there was a third-party shit-stirrer that we both considered a decent friend at the time!)

i don’t really need a reason to block someone, and i shouldn’t have to explain it, but i did and i will again but more explicitly this time: @/anantaru made a post that i did not like. it’s as simple as that. it was a post about genshin characters and sex icks and one of the lines were “venti: too drunk.” i’m not anti-dc, but there are topics that i am sensitive about because i was sa’d in my freshman year of college—that is something i have talked about on this blog before, many of you who've been around since my tr era are aware of it. i acknowledged, and tee acknowledged, that this was probably a joke and was not meant to be taken the way i took it, but the aloof/casual way it was mentioned without any TW of implied dubcon, and without acknowledging that it was at least dubcon and could border on noncon in certain interpretations made me uncomfortable. i don’t mind seeing it as long as i’m warned. if it was tagged properly, i would have moved on without much care, but it wasn’t, so i was scrolling through the post snorting and was hit with that and i was made uncomfortable because i didn't like how it was just being passed off as an ick, and i blocked. there was no reason for it to go beyond what it did, yet we are here. anantaru mentioned that if you frequent their blog, you would know that they often write about venti and reader being drunk—i don’t frequent their blog, in fact this was my first encounter with them being reblogged onto my dash by shared mutuals, so it rubbed me wrong. thats the end of it.

i’m not sure the exact timing, but i believe it was two(?) weeks after this, when i reblogged an unpopular opinion’s post with an opinion that i thought was fairly harmless. sure, looking back on it i could have phrased it better, i’m not going to deny that, but pinpointing my one opinion out of the hundreds of others that were objectively far more controversial than mine and crucifying me for it is uncalled for. you guys know very well that i do not have the time or energy to sift through random people’s blogs to look for minors. every once in a while i glance at the notes of shit posts that happen to be on my dash and i’d be a bit startled at finding a minor in them because i still do think you should at least try to catch minors who interact with shit posts because that’s the easiest way to find them. but i was working at a medium sized firm for a year and a half at the time of the post and i am currently in law school, i do not have the time to be psychotic about people’s likes and interaction, and even if i did have the time?? i’ve always gotten incredible interaction from y’all lmfao, imposing the idea that i’m jealous is entirely inane. i do still stand by the fact that my words were twisted, i was made out, more than once and by more than one person after the next bullet point's events, to have been some psycho that stalks peoples’ posts for excuses as to why they get interaction when that is simply not the case.

regardless, after this incident, anantaru made a vague post that was almost directly quoting my tags from the reblog and was thus sent to me because many shared mutuals put together that it was about my tags. this was upsetting for multiple reasons 1) i had blocked anantaru by this point so i felt a bit violated that i was being vagued for something by someone that i blocked. 2) i started getting hate anons en masse after it, some of which were very unnecessarily explicit. needless to say, i was very upset and made a subpost on my main account after noticing i’ve been blocked on ao3 because 1) i was already upset and i didn’t even know why anantaru seemed to have it out for me much less go to the point of blocking on ao3 which leads into my next point and 2) i thought it was a bit ridiculous because the only thing blocking on ao3 stops is people from commenting on posts and i clearly was not going to comment on a post of someone who i was not on good terms with. reasoning aside, anantaru can block who they want and i was out of line for making comments about that in particular. i’ll admit that, and apologize for it.

a screenshot was taken from my personal—not a good moment for me, obviously, but anantaru claimed in their post that it was about them with no evidence. i dmed them about this in particular because i was genuinely confused, we spoke about it, i offered them proof that it was not them because i had a discussion about this post with a close friend at the time of posting it and they believed me. i will attach screenshots below (cropped because there's no reason to attach the whole conversation) because i feel as if this accusation was rather extreme and i wish it would’ve been removed because it was obviously not my best moment. an explanation for the post itself, i was upset over plagiarism accusations regarding something i put my heart and soul into and then seeing the same person that made them consistently on my dash just straight up triggered me, for lack of a better word lol, so i made a vent on my personal. how it got misconstrued as to be anything about anantaru is baffling to me but i suppose that's a question for the subject of our next bullet point. i don’t want to go into detail about the accusations in themselves because i don’t want people to send the actual person who it’s about hate. regardless, that post was not about anantaru, i have never called them a cunt nor have i ever called them a gatekeepy cunt, though i’m beginning to think i should probably remove the word from my vocabulary atp, i use it far too flippantly. anyway, i do not know them well enough to formulate any sort of opinion like that. aside from that, in our discussion we came to an understanding over it and i wish that would have been cleared on their blog as wel. so i'll attach here (i crossed some out because i don't want to breach any boundaries regarding what anantaru might be comfortable sharing but i do think it's fair for me to want this particular point fully cleared as it was a bold accusation remaining up):

5. in our discussion, we came to realize that we have/had a shared mutual who was fostering discourse between the two of us. many of you will recognize her as audri aka alucrds, who has supposedly left tumblr by this point—i suspected this and anantaru has confirmed it while we were talking. audri was sending anantaru my posts claiming that they were about anantaru, but i will stress that the only actual discussions i ever had with anyone about anantaru was with tee and eris about that initial joke because it had upset me at the time, it never extended beyond that and it certainly was never with audri. my only conversation with audri that mentioned anantaru at all was probably around a week or so after i made the post in point 3, when audri asked me about ao3 blocking in casual conversation and i offhandedly mentioned that anantaru had blocked me on there—audri was a close friend at that point and iirc, she had actually told me right after that that anantaru had her blocked on tumblr, i had no idea that they'd been mutuals at all but either way, it was an offhanded comment that led to nowhere (or so i thought LOL). looking back on it, it was clearly her baiting me into giving her information about the post i made a week or so prior because after talking with anantaru, they explained that they got an anonymous message claiming that i was shit talking them for blocking them on ao3 and the only person that could have put together that the vent post from point 3 was about anantaru was audri herself. audri continued to evidently cherry-pick random vent posts of mine to show anantaru and claim that they were about them. why? i wish i could tell you. i considered audri a decent enough friend, and though she had her fair share of issues with mutuals and other friends of mine, i never really thought she’d stoop to this with me. but i guess there’s really no explaining people who thrive in discourse.

6. my comment in my most recent post about being harassed on ao3 and in comments and in asks was not about them at all. i thought it was very clearly about heliotropes (my dottore series) and pressure to update from certain readers, but i'm clarifying that now.

7. i never intended on directly addressing this, which is why i did not directly name anantaru in my post, if i’d known at the time that tee was going to end up addressing all of this, i would’ve just been straight up with all of it.

anyway, i think that’s all, hopefully this will be the last post for real as i am tired mentally and now i am also physically sleep deprived. i've been up since three so forgive me for typos and grammar errors. this all has gone on for over a year. sorry for all the discourse on y'all's dash, wish i could have left with a bit more grace than this. rumors have been blown out of proportions and blindly believed, things have been taken out of context, such is life. i made my fair share of mistakes on my personal blog with my vents, others have admitted and owned up to their own mistakes, some will never admit to their mistakes. such is life. it moves on, always does. i know all of y'all are smart enough to come to your own opinions.

over and out, sorry again, and logged out (hopefully for real this time),

cat

#tw discourse

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acti-veg · 6 months

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Veganism is a philosophy and way of living which seeks to exclude—as far as is possible and practicable—all forms of exploitation of, and cruelty to, animals for food, clothing or any other purpose.

Is the above statement true? And does it mean that someone who avoids dairy milks, but sometimes eats cheeses, etc, are still vegan? Same for a vegan who cut out all meats but still eats one type due to an issue such as ARFID or other ?:)

This is the most commonly accepted definition of veganism, and you won’t find many vegans who contest it, though it is open to some interpretation. As for answering who is or isn’t vegan I am no authority on that, it really comes down to whether or not they are meeting that definition - only they can really know that.

Being vegan is about doing your best to avoid animal exploitation as far as is possible and practicable for you. What that looks like may be different for some people, there are people who are not in control of their own consumption for various reasons, or who face real health, access or social barriers which mean they can’t adopt a 100% plant-based diet at this time in their life.

Keep in mind no one is avoiding all animal exploitation all the time, that is the nature of being a consumer in a capitalist society, and things like animal glues in manufacturing, animal tested medications etc are often unavoidable. As vegans we strive to cause less harm, but we’re very aware that we can’t cause none.

Veganism is not about purity or perfection, and the definition itself acknowledges this. So long as someone is genuinely doing their absolute best and avoiding animal exploitation whenever they have the option to do so, then they are vegan. This is what we mean when we say that anyone can be vegan, because absolutely everyone, regardless of their circumstances, can at least try their best. That is all we’re asking.

#ask #vegan

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soracities · 11 months

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Hi Mim, some people tell me that I am attractive but I don't have self-confidence... I just need some advice. I feel so stupid :(

ATTRACTIVENESS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH EXTERNALS MY DOVE BUT IS A LIGHT YOU TEND FROM WITHIN. FEED IT W WORDS AND FEED IT W ACTS AND FEED IT BY ACCEPTING THE KINDNESS OF THOSE AROUND YOU REGARDLESS OF WHETHER YOU THINK YOU DESERVE IT OR NOT. YOU ARE NOT A SINGLE STRAND IN THIS WORLD BUT A THREAD AMONG THREADS IN A MULTIPLICTY OF TRUTHS AND THOSE TRUTHS INCLUDE THE GOODNESS OTHERS SEE IN YOU AND YOU DONT HAVE TO LOVE WHAT YOU SEE IN THE MIRROR BUT YOU CAN LOVE THE YOU THAT EXISTS IN THE EYES OF YOUR LOVED ONES. CONFIDENCE IS NICE BUT SOMETIMES HARD AND THATS OK BC WHAT MATTERS IS TO TRY AND MOVE THROUGH THIS WEIRD AND BAFFLING EXISTENCE W SINCERITY. ALSO SOMEWHERE ON THIS PLANET THE WORST PERSON ON EARTH IS MAKING A PODCAST W THE MOST BLINKERED SENSE OF GRANDEUR AND IF THEY CAN PUT THEIR RADIOACTIVE TAKES OUT INTO THE WORLD W ZERO SENSE OF SELF MODERATION *YOU* ARE ALLOWED TO THINK YOU MAKE GOOD JOKES WITHOUT NEEDING TO JUSTIFY YOUR ENTIRE EXISTENCE TO THE MASSES IN YOUR HEAD WHO REALLY ARE JUST LOOKING FOR SOMEONE TO ACKNOWLEDGE AND CARE FOR THEM AND DONT HAVE THE WORDS FOR IT YET OK LOVE YOU ANGEL 💕💗

#ask #anonymous #notes from elsewhere

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radioactive-earthshine · 1 year

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Why Bart/Kon Shouldn't Be A Rare-Pair: The Konbart Manifesto and Friendship Deep-Dive.

This is a long post with a read more cut further down.

Trigger Words: Death, Depression

I feel like during the time Kon and Bart were both out of comic continuity a lot of comic enjoyers 1.) forgot that these two were intensely close and 2.) in the case of newer fans never even realized the depths of their friendship even prior to Young Justice 2019.

This post is going to primarily focus on Bart and Kon's friendship and how they work together both presented in the comics, and what is implied through dialog and circumstantial events.

Even if you are not looking at what is presented below through the shipping lens, what I am going to compile here at the very least showcases that they have an intense friendship and solidifies that Kon is one of Bart's lightening rods and these two are relevant to each other in ways that I rarely see explored in fan works.

Bart in fanworks with Kon is frequently more or less there as a backdrop to another ship, is there for light moments or just is glazed over as "not a best friend" when the comics make it blatant that Bart and Kon are intensely close.

So let me explain their history and why they work so well together as friends first, and how the ship makes sense and should not be considered rare or a "crack-ship" as they are mutually affectionate.

1.) Kon and Bart share a ridiculous amount of things in common.

I talk about this frequently on this blog and others have pointed this out before in separate posts, but their similarities and sense of belonging to their respective worlds are factors that absolutely bind them closer and in special ways that others do not.

Unfortunately, this is (mostly) an indirect example of their dynamic because DC either sees no value in exploring these commonalities, or writers just have not recognized these details to explore them to fulfil deeper connections between Kon and Bart.

The exception to this was when Bart acknowledged their own sense of isolation and 'weirdness' in Young Justice 2019 The Emancipation of Bartholomew.

"I don't know who to talk to about any of this. No one can relate. Not even the other Flashes. I think that's what you and I always kind of had in common, Conner. We are not like everyone else. Even in our Superman and Flash columns... We are the most different." - Bart

Bart is ultimately correct here as both he and Kon share that when it comes to their family columns they stand out and have history and abilities that is isolating to the point where others in their families might not be able to connect to or relate to them in specific ways, but that doesn't stop their respective families from trying and loving them regardless.

Other than their isolation, they also share in common some key things that happened to them in their lives and some traits that a writer could absolutely capitalize on to make a strong story and it binds them closer together.

Here's a non-exhaustive list of past formative events that both Kon and Bart share.

They both were victims of dubiously moral scientists at the orders of cruel men.

They both do not have proper childhoods due to their unique births, younger life situations, and weird aging (see #4).

Both have genius level intellects, but no one really acknowledges it or takes it seriously.

They both had weird aging outside of Sins of Youth.

Both were cloned by cruel people and their clones replace them so successfully they fooled their friends and family that the imposter was them.

Both at varying times had members of their respective families not believe in them and questioned their integrity, morality and ability to be a hero.

Both mutually shared trauma associated with Bart's first "death" on Apokolips that others in their team did not.

Both had their mentors 'die' while they were not present and had to have the news delivered to them after it already happened. For Bart this was Max, and for Kon it was Jim Harper.

Both were raised by elderly people.

Both for a good period of time lived in the same state just hours from each other.

Both essentially 'grew up' and changed their entire identities overnight which can be fairly read as an expression of deep depression.

They both died just within months of each other.

To counterpoint #5 they were both part of Tim's cloning adventures in present time and in a hypothetical future.

They were both erased from existence in the reboot, and both remembered each other and everything about the world before it rebooted.

As I mentioned before, the list above is not really mentioned between Kon and Bart in the comics, and they do not have any real conversations about how they share various trauma as comic narration tends to avoid characters hashing out feelings unless it is to serve growth that a writer wants to develop. However in a realistic scenario there is a strong likelihood that Kon and Bart would realize their commonality and feel kindred and comforted to know that there is someone else out there in the world that understands what they went through on a deep, personal level.

2.) Kon and Bart are FRIENDS outside of Young Justice and Teen Titans.

This is a bullet point that is a 'no duh' for all of them as each member of Young Justice/Teen Titans has been shown to be friends outside of beating the daylights out of bad guys, and many others have been shown to have deep bonds outside of 'work', but this point goes back to the introduction in that I feel a lot of people just have neglected to understand their friendship.

In their Young Justice days especially their friendship is unique and it is implied it started before the formation of team as Kon knew Bart's secret identity prior to the JLA: World Without Grown-Ups special.

Pre Young Justice/Early Friendship

Kon encourages Bart by name during the climax of their battle.

Throughout this special Kon refers to Bart casually by his first name and there is nowhere within this issue that seems to imply that Bart reveals this information during their team up. Kon knew his name beforehand which suggests either Bart told him, or he learned it second-hand from within the hero community.

Tim knows his name because of Batman.

This shows that there was a level of TRUST they had in each other even before the formation of Young Justice. To note, Kon does not learn Bart's name at all in Superboy and the Ravers #7 either when they first meet, so somewhere between then and the JLA: WWGU event Kon discovered or was told Bart's name.

Within this issue we see small crumbs that suggest Kon and Bart got to know a little bit about each other beforehand as there was some friendly teasing, banter and encouragement exchanged between them (even picking on Tim together).

Kon teases Bart and Bart remembers this for years afterwards, flipping it on Wally in his own series later.

Kon and Bart work together to win and are obnoxious about it, as they should be.

Also, when it came to Bedlam devising ways to defeat Tim, Kon and Bart by having each other imagine ways to kill one another, Kon was close enough by then to devise a way that was very specific and effective - by trapping Bart in a contraption that prevented him from moving at all.

Kon apologizes for imagining putting Bart into a restraining bench as his way to defeat him.

This again implies that Kon got to know enough about Bart to know what would cripple him in a fight; you can make an argument that he just thought it up on the spot basing it on first impressions, but if you read the issue entirely the implication still directs that they were friendly beforehand even if in the comics they had not interacted except for in Superboy and the Ravers #7.

The logical assumption is that Bart and Kon knew each other before this and were friendly.

Young Justice

Kon and Bart yet again tease and frustrate Tim together. This is reoccurring.

While they were in Young Justice we get to finally see their friendship really pick up because they finally had a comic series that they shared which meant they could grow and develop. Within this series we get to see them interact with each other in ways that are unique to them.

Young Justice #9.

Kon and Bart will often play games together during down-time in Young Justice (also in Teen Titans), such as Chess where Bart proves to be more calm and collected about it than Kon is as a counterbalance.

Young Justice #31

By the middle part of Young Justice it is well established that Kon is Bart's go-to person for entertainment within their team as depicted in the above issue where Bart desperately tries to convince Kon to break from his television program to be with him. We can assume Bart's suggestions are things that they have done together before. What is also interesting to note is Bart is asking to do things with him as Bart Allen, not as Impulse.

Young Justice #53

To further solidify that they are close friends and interact in ways specific to them, Kon and Bart not only play traditional games, but they took the time to joke with each other to come up with a whole new game that has no winner, it's just interaction and fun. This sort of interaction is unique specifically to them as the others are not part of this behavior.

Teen Titans/2003-2011

By the time the Teen Titan years roll around they both have assumed new identities, one where Kon takes a step back into Conner Kent as an attempt to live more normally (something he's always wanted to do), and one where Bart takes up the Kid Flash mantle. They both experience changes in drastic (and sudden) ways, and even through some offensive writing and general character assassinations, they still are shown having a unique and intense bond specific to each other.

For the sake of pacing I am only going to explore a couple moments that stood out to me (this series is 100 issues long!) that show both of them being close emotionally as by now they are emotionally bound friends.

When Kon discovers that half his DNA came directly from Lex Luthor and was mind controlled to attack his friends, naturally everyone was trying their best to stop him.

Bart was ordered to "take him down" being the person in the best place to do so, and instead of going heavy handed Bart decided to try to reason with Kon instead.

Bart doesn't want to hurt Kon. And he refuses to do so at personal sacrifice to himself.

Teen Titans Volume 3 #25

Unfortunately Bart was not successful here but he tried very hard to reach him and appealed to who he knew Kon was at a deep level.

The important thing to note is during this wretched time in their tenure a lot of things happen; one of the main ones being them both dying within months of each other (one of their shared commonalities). Kon died first, and then Bart followed.

During Bart's funeral during Countdown #43 they play a video Bart recorded of himself basically wishing everyone well and encouraging them to not be sad that he was dead. However there are a couple moments that stand out...

In Bart's speech he is addressing everyone in his team, but he specifically mentions Kon in two key moments; he is addressing and speaking directly to Kon as if everything is well even though at this time Kon is dead.

Kon never got to hear this.

Bart and Kon by this point have solidified a strong bond where perhaps when Bart was thinking about making this recording he knew that Kon deserved a special acknowledgement to help him in his grieving process, which in the past Kon did not handle well in regards to Bart (I will explain below.) After Kon died Bart either didn't have the time to make a new video or just didn't want to revisit it again and left it as it was mentioning Kon regardless that he was not going to hear it.

Bart and Kon did not stay dead for long and eventually came back, once they did they had to deal with the aftermath of being dead together...

One of those aftermaths being Kon's relationship with Cassie had started to shift in ways that neither knew how to deal with, nor did they know why it was changing as both were dealing with personal stuff at the time. They are teenagers, after all.

In an attempt to try to get advice, Kon went specifically to Bart for help; not Tim, Gar, Cyborg or Clark or any other 'guy'. He saw Bart as someone he trusted and someone whose input he valued. There is a great level of trust they both have for each other as talking about relationships is a vulnerable and personal step.

Teen Titans Volume 3 #83

Ignore the bad writing on Cassie's part who in this for whatever reason thinks Bart won't respect her if he knows there are relationship issues, and implies that Kon is not allowed to ask for advice from one of their closest friends. Kon breaks up with Cassie a few issues later citing that he wants to give her space to focus on being a leader, and that he wants to retreat (further) into Conner Kent. This is a decision he made himself and it is unknown if he reached out to Bart again for advice.

While the outrageous events of TTv3 kept Kon and Bart extremely busy, we do still get hints that they still do things together outside of being heroes and Kon still reaches out to Bart for help.

Superboy 2011 #3

During this time in comics canon (2003-2011), Bart and Kon live only 4 hours away in the same state (Kansas). Bart being a speedster obviously can be right there with him nearly instantly no matter where he lives, but the closeness also opens more doors of familiarity between them and more relatability.

Kon reaches out to Bart for yet more help when he suggests to Bart to race him for charity so he can help the farmers in Smallville that lost a substantial amount of revenue. Bart gladly accepts and their race has some great FUN moments as they banter and talk about current events.

Kid Flash Lost #1

In one of the final comics of the pre-boot world Bart still references that he watches movies with Kon casually, specifically showcasing that even in a dystopian future where The Matrix is realized, Bart is thinking about Kon and everything they do together.

Bart and Kon are friends, and their friendship has been unwavering without a lapse in trust as both have been anchors for each other; no matter what happens, if the other is alive then it is a good day and they are likely going to be gravitating towards one another.

3.) Kon's breakdown over Bart's "death" and coma.

I don't really see a lot of people talk about this part of Kon's history (even from hardcore Kon fans) unless it is specifically from a Konbart shipping lens and I am not sure why, because everything about the two issue mental breakdown is heartbreaking just on its own with no shipping element added.

Also in one of the issues it implies that Kon has (while subconsciously) bi-curious feelings towards Bart.

The start of Kon's breakdown begins on Apokolips where they were stranded because he got in a fight with Tim and they crashed there. Because of that fight it led to all of them getting traumatized by Granny Goodness, but Bart suffered the worst when his own scout was killed in front of Cassie, Cissie, Kon and himself.

Impulse #77

As a result, Bart was comatose for weeks and up until he woke up no one knew if he would survive.

Kon took it extremely badly. Not only is he himself traumatized from having witnessed it viscerally, but he also blamed himself for it happening in the first place.

Superboy #91

Kon is writing a letter to Dr. Serling back home while he is still in space and the entire letter is... heartbreaking as he pens out his own grief and trauma in a personal way.

At this point in time, Kon has accepted that Bart is going to die. Kon has essentially lost all hope that Bart will recover and he blames himself entirely for it.

Even when he gets back to Earth in Superboy #92 he still is having PTSD symptoms from everything that happened on Apokolips and Bart is still at the forefront of his thoughts along with everything else that happened there...

(Please remember the title of this issue it is important)

Below is Kon's personal dialog that shows he has intrusive and frequent thoughts about Apokolips, in particular Bart dying and the Lobo clones dying.

"Now Bart's dead. Ba-dump-bump."

"Apokolips. Satan's top choice for vacation spots, after Suicide Slum and Binghampton in winter." "Us. Young Justice. Stranded. Forgotten, unwashed P.O.W.S." "Impulse, a piece of him. All of him. I don't get it, anymore." "He died badly. The smell -- My fault." "The legion of naked Lobos. If there is one grain of comedy in any of this, it's the legion of naked Lobos..." "...'Cept they all died, too. "The aftermath, you don't have to see "A.I." to believe a robot can get very, very, upset." "Just try breaking the news to Red Tornado."

"Ah. Yes, and there's Impulse again. The rest of him. None of him. So whacked out on having watched and felt his own death..." "Cut to: the smell of Impulse frying." "Dead Lobos." "Torture." "Death." "Torture." "..." "Death."

"I am so out of here." - Kon-El

The first two pages alone set the tone for the rest of the issue even if it takes a manic tone with a theme of Alice in Wonderland as a fever dream from hell. Before we get there though we are hit with two panels that are... interesting.

"Hey. Mrs. K., Got any apple pie in the fridge? Oh, one piece is fine. Impulse is in a stupid coma, so he won't -- Hold me? Tell me the war never happened? Pet my head?" - Kon-El

When you look at these two panels the first interpretation is that Kon is implying that Bart won't be around to hold him and pet his head.

The second interpretation is that Kon was going to say that Bart wasn't there to enjoy the pie (thus one piece was fine) and that he had a break in thought and was directing his desire for Martha to hold him and comfort him.

Either way you look at these panels and choose to interpret them it could go either way considering Kon's fragile mental state and how close of friends they were, and where his TWENTY HOUR dream takes him, it could really have been that he was wishing Bart would hold him.

That Kon wants Bart to be alive to comfort and balm the terror that he faced while on Apokolips.

Hm. Hmmm. Okay.

So Bart's dressed as the White Rabbit (remember the title?) but not only that in Kon's own dream he has him make a reference to it being a Playboy Bunny Suit.

I'm just going to leave that there because nothing else can be said about it.

These particular panels have been floating around for ages without context and you don't need much other than to know that the other two are Cherub and Kon's dead girlfriend Tana Moon.

Tana was killed in the Sins of Youth arc by Amanda Spence specifically to hurt Kon.

Cherub was a clone created by Amanda Spence using Bart and Tana Moon's DNA. Amanda shot her in the head while Kon was having a heart-to-heart conversation with her, and as far as he knows she is dead at this point.

And then there is Bart who Kon has resigned multiple times is already dead despite the fact he is in a coma.

Two of the above were direct love interests that were hurt specifically because of Kon, to hurt him, and in his own dream Kon is placing Bart in with them as a person he loves who he is responsible for getting hurt.

The line that Kon might "secretly think of Impulse as a chick" is definitely skirting some lines of bi-coding, or at least getting as close to it as possible for a comic that was released in 2001 which was an incredibly homophobic era. Also it is fun to note that entire dream sequence is colored in bi-flag colors which was adopted in 1998, it was likely unintentional but you can take that as you will.

Kon's fever dream lasted twenty hours and after this issue he was back to "normal" and this breakdown is never mentioned again.

However considering that Bart's own "Death Video" in Countdown #43 had him talking specifically to Kon a couple of times, the two of them might have discussed what happened on Apokolips which led Bart to have the foresight to try to make things easier in a "Death is nothing at all, I'm only in the other room" sort of way. Because by then Bart knew that if he died, people would be upset. Kon extremely so.

4.) Kon helps Bart overcome his fear of using his scouts just by existing.

After the trauma-inducing terror that happened on Apokolips Bart himself was dealing with a bout of PTSD and he took a temporary absence from being Impulse and being a part of Young Justice.

To compliment Kon's own letter from Superboy #91 Bart claims that being Impulse "Isn't fun anymore" in mirrored trauma.

Bart eventually got to a point mentally where he found purpose being Impulse again, but he was extremely weary of using his scouts for obvious reasons.

Then the World Without Young Justice arc came and Bart was face-to-face with Matthew Stuart (Bedlam) who had been in a coma for two years and was out for revenge.

Using his own magical power he had found a way to force Bart into making scouts and he had them flung through time altering the timestream to a point where nothing looked familiar and Young Justice was... gone; the girls converted into villains, the boys were stripped of their powers and training as Kon was just a human teenager and Tim was just Tim Drake.

Bart was the only one who remembered them and it was up to him to stop Matt.

The problem was, he was petrified of absorbing his scouts back into himself because the last time one of his scouts died, he nearly died. Bart wasn't sure what would happen if he re-absorbed a dying scout, because he regains everything that scout experienced and felt while it was operating.

Superboy #99

"That'll keep him... busy while... we make our escape..." - Bart

"'Escape?' You can barely stand and your other selves..." - Kon

"... Are dying. I've made too many... Their only chance... is to take 'em back into me. It's just... dunno what'll happen if I absorb a dying scout..." - Bart

"Look... Don't worry. You'll be okay. Why, you're one of the good guys." - Kon while touching Bart's shoulder.

"Uh... ...Here goes everythnnngghh!!" - Bart

"Wow... You okay?" - Kon

"No... But it's no biggie. We better head for Bedlam's Castle, back to Tim..." - Bart

At first glance this might seem inconsequential but Bart really was absolutely petrified of absorbing those scouts back, and he did so because Kon encouraged him, and because Kon in that moment was vulnerable and could be killed with almost no effort.

Bart overcame his fear and absorbed his scouts which had a consequence that wasn't outright shown but if you're well-read in The Flash you know what is going on.

Bart is pushing his own limits here, he is hurt, badly, and is dying himself but because he is a Speedster they never reveal this when it is happening. A speedster admitting something is wrong, but is 'no big deal' is code speak for "I'm going to die, so let's hurry up and save the day."

Bart's exhausted here and is likely going through some sort of molecular and emotional trauma as a result of absorbing his dying scouts, but Kon and all of Young Justice is worth it.

In the end, Bart recovers, saves the day and everything returns to normal... almost.

5.) The Emancipation of Bart Allen AKA Bart "broke reality" for Kon.

Kon was erased from existence with the N52 reboot and with Rebirth he was still no where to be found and no one seemed concerned about where Kon was despite the fact that the multiverse/reboots were very common knowledge among the heroes by then.

Bart (retroactively) was the only one who was shown to actively remember Kon due to his own imperviousness to time shifts and due to the fact that he was able to avoid being rebooted himself. Cassie mentioned remembering "everything about Young Justice" thus implying that she too likely remembered Kon, but Tim didn't remember him (or Young Justice) and needed Zatanna to help unlock the memories of his dear friend. Bart remembered Kon and actively took it upon himself to find him, and by extension Young Justice.

The entirety of Young Justice 2019 has a lot of great moments between Kon and Bart (Bart was relentless in his effort to find Kon, both times he went missing) but there is one key moment that sticks out.

Bart's explanation for what happened leading up to him "breaking things" to find Kon is a little mushy when it comes to continuity placement (Bendis tends to have mushy writing) but his desire to find Kon over everyone else is blatant.

Please tell us Kon, what do you plan on doing? We'll never know bc Tim interjected.

Everything about this issue is charged with emotional depth between both Kon and Bart; from Bart's deep desire to find Kon and Kon's desire to help take care of Bart while he was vulnerable after passing out.

Extremely popular ships were started over less than this ^

After passing out, Kon takes Bart to the woods and builds a fire for them. Kon also remembers that Bart loves Chocos (DC's version of Oreos) and nicked a whole pack from S.T.A.R. Labs for Bart specifically.

6.) Lightening Rod

As mentioned above Young Justice 2019 offered us a lot of moments between Kon and Bart that were suggestive and showcased that Bart is relentless when it comes to making sure Kon is safe, and that Young Justice is intact.

Each member of Young Justice is clearly a lightening rod for Bart as Speedsters can have more than one however there is evidence to suggest that Kon just may have a pull on him more than the others.

Young Justice 2019 #1

When Bart is zapped to Gemworld at the same time as everyone else he alone appears next to Kon, suggesting he is a lightening rod. Tim, Cassie, Jinny and Kelly were separated to other locations entirely.

The working theory building from what we know of Speedsters and their lighting rods, is that when Bart was finally put in proximity to Kon, Bart was immediately attracted to him like lightning strike to a tall building.

Once Bart was reunited with Kon, well, we get the famous hug scene under the backdrop of the bi-flag.

Young Justice 2019 #2 again, popular ships were started over much less.

Knowing what we know now of the depth Bart went through to find Kon and reunite Young Justice can you really blame him for not wanting to let him go?

The rest of YJ2019 has multiple other instances of them hugging, touching and Bart getting very persistent about making sure Kon is safe, which contributed to him passing out.

In Closing

When it comes to shipping, either as just friends or as romantic partners in some fashion, the evidence provided above gives groundwork for a ship that is based on trust, compassion for the other, emotional vulnerability through shared experiences and protectiveness of the other all with an air of playfulness.

Their affection is mutual and their desire to help each other, mourn each other and support each other is not one-sided as we see both of them do things for the other.

There is a lot of angst there, and there also is a lot playfulness with willingness to listen to each other if in the hands of a writer that understands their past history.

Kon and Bart are friends, first and foremost, and Konbart should not be a rare-pair or considered a ship with no basis as the basis has roots going back to 1995.

8/5/23: edited for more concise phrasing and removed some misleading word choice, sorry about that it WAS unintentional.

#konbart #bartkon #bart allen #kon-el #kon el #conner kent #impulse #superboy #dc comics #this post killed me and i couldn't use all the images i wanted #be grateful i looked at ttv3 which made me want to punch something #can you believe there was more to add but i just ran out of image space #to be continued??#FFFFF typos fixed

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