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#and it'll do fine
nerdpoe · 21 days
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"I hired him with a bag of hot cheetos."
"You...hired who?" Joker asked, looking around.
"My bodyguard from my hometown. I hired him." The hostage said, actually sounding bored.
"...There's no one here but you and me, kiddo, and-"
"You and I, actually. His name is Phantom, and he's here right now. Bye."
Then the kid disappeared. Literally. Him, and the bomb he'd been strapped to.
Or; To soothe his parents about his decision to move to Gotham, Danny lied and said he'd bought Phantoms services as a bodyguard with a bag of hot cheetos. Now, whenever he gets into trouble, he just goes invisible and intangible and nopes out.
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saltpepperbeard · 7 months
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is this anything
#OFMD#OFMD Season 2#OFMD S2 Spoilers#Gentlebeard#Blackbonnet#Edward Teach#Stede Bonnet#Edit#okay stay with me here lol STAY WITH ME HERE#ed's face really has me feeling some kind of way#((i mean that's a given lol but his EXPRESSION there more like))#i keep staring at it and going back and forth between thinking it's awe/reluctant intrigue#as though he's furrowing his brow because he WANTS to not get butterflies for stede but stede is making that Very Difficult HSDJKLS#OR#and hence me making this set-#he's feeling some sort of complicated emotion in seeing stede step away from the person he met him as#the colorful bitchy poised fine thing he fell in love with#because i am ALSO sitting here wondering if stede is doing this all entirely on his own volition#or if he was ENCOURAGED to do so by izzy or someone else as like a#'it'll win you more respect and win you back ed's heart if you act and dress this way' type deal#like something something another ongoing commentary on masculinity something something#but it could ALSO be stede really wanting that world/respect/look for HIMSELF#something something stede and ed wanting to be each other and delving into each other's realms something#but just as it soured a bit for ed#i have to wonder if it'll also sour a bit for stede#and they'll consequently find 'the other home' they're looking for in EACH OTHER#and settle into a mixture of swashbuckling ruggedness/finery and subsequently complete/compliment each other#IDK i'm not being very coherent about it HA but i have many many thoughts of course#stede changing up his entire aesthetic just has me very very intrigued on how he's going to move forward#and how others are going to perceive him
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jamie--draws · 25 days
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some aces because I miss him :')
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revvethasmythh · 2 months
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the thing about imogen saying that "if getting rid of delilah means getting rid of [launda] too, it's not worth it" is that it doesn't really change anything, does it? yes it provides laudna with reassurance that she is loved regardless of what lives in her head, but it doesn't mean that imogen doesn't still have negative feelings about delilah being there. "I love you more than I hate delilah" doesn't mean she isn't still disgusted by delilah. I get the sense that this is not an important distinction for imogen--she's said her piece, she's told laudna that she matters more, and that's the end of it for her. laudna matters more. her meaning is crystal clear: I love you and I'm choosing you.
but laudna has been obsessed with imogen saying she was disgusted by delilah watching them. she said herself she can't stop thinking about it, and marisha has said she can't stop thinking about it either, out of game. as far as they know currently, delilah's soul is twined in and around laudna's to the point where they are indistinguishable. the only way to get rid of delilah is to lose laudna. laudna doesn't know where she ends and delilah begins. imogen loves her, but imogen is disgusted by delilah. how does that work if they are one and the same? how does laudna cope with the fact that an inextinguishable part of herself is both genuinely evil and hated by the person she loves the most? at what point does being disgusted by delilah become being disgusted by a piece of laudna herself?
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thelaurenshippen · 5 months
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ah yes, the sweet sting of rejection from a billion dollar corporation who believes that "action stories don't appeal to romance audiences", welcome back my old familiar friend
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melverie · 5 months
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NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
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irritablepoe · 5 months
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ngl i'm being not so normal about blood and wounds rn
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petite-phthora · 11 months
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Do you think it was a date?
[DP x DC fic]
[Love at first... murder? - part 5]
<< Prev | Next >>
Part 1
Ao3
---
In-chat nicknames:
Daniel = Danny
Sharpshooter = Jazz
TooFine= Tucker
Chaos = Sam
TheCoolerDaniel = Danielle/Dani/Ellie
---
Private chat nicknames:
Bill = Danny
Pants = Jazz
---
As soon as Danny enters his apartment, face bright red, he takes his head into his hands and lets out a silent scream.
He could have said anything, and he panicked and went with Toodealoo Kangaroo???
At this rate, he’ll never get a partner.
As Danny stands there in misery, his phone starts buzzing with messages. Curious, he checks his phone to see what going on.
Uh oh.
---
Team Phantom 👻😎
Chaos: Guys check this out
Chaos: *link*
Chaos: The Joker escaped from Arkham again, but no one’s heard anything of him since, nor have they been able to find him
TooFine: @Daniel 👀
TooFine: ok the @ had been a joke but the fact that he has read it and not replied is concerning
Sharpshooter: @Daniel, what did you do?
Sharpshooter: @Daniel
Sharpshooter: I can see that you’re reading this, don’t ignore me.
TooFine: ohhhh someones in troubleee 👀
Sharpshooter: Tucker.
TooFine: 🤐
---
Danny takes a deep breath.
Well, it’s now or never. Let’s hope Jazz is feeling merciful.
---
Private chat
Bill: ok so you know how you said you would still love me if I was a worm?
Pants: I have no clue how this ties into the previous conversation, but yes. Why?
Bill: hypothetically
Bill: would you also still love me if I
Bill: hypothetically
Bill: accidentally
Bill: vibe checked someone that tried to uh
Bill: hypothetically
Bill: kidnap and or kill me??
Bill: 🥺🥺🙏
Pants: Danny, did you accidentally kill the Joker?
Bill: yes or no Jazz??!? 😩🥺
Pants: Yes, Danny. I would still love you if you, hypothetically, accidentally killed the Joker.
Bill: this is why you’re my favorite sister 🥹🥰😘
Bill: don’t tell Ellie 😳🫣
Pants: Danny, what happened?
---
Danny lets out a sigh of relief before proceeding to tell Jazz what happened.
---
Pants: Oh Danny.
Bill: are you mad at me?
Pants: I’m not mad at you, I just want you to stay safe.
Pants: While I don’t condone murder, I understand that it was self-defense and an accident. I‘m just glad that you’re alright.
Bill: 🥰💞😘
---
With a small smile on his face, Danny goes back to the groupchat.
---
Team Phantom 👻😎
Daniel: you know
Daniel: if I had a nickel for every time I’ve had to fight off an insane clown that attacked me 🤡
Daniel: I’d have two nickels
Daniel: which isn’t a lot but it’s weird that it’s happened twice, right? 🤔
Chaos: Damnit Danny, we leave you alone in a new city for a week and you already manage to get into a fight with one of Gotham City’s most infamous rogues
TooFine: actually its been 6 days 10 hours and 17 minutes
TooFine: so not even a full week yet
Chaos: Did you at least get a good few punches in?
Chaos: Danny?
TooFine: @Daniel ???
TooFine: if i had a nickel for every time danny said something concerning and then didnt provide context id be richer than vlad
Daniel: anyway, for completely unrelated reasons, @TooFine I need you to wipe some cams for me 😃
TooFine: danny im not wiping the cams again so no one will have proof of you tripping backward and falling ass-first into a trashcan
Chaos: Speaking of, Tucker do you still have that footage and can you send it to me?
TooFine: already done
Daniel: noo it’s nothing like that this time 😫
Daniel: pleaseeee 🥺🙏🙏
Daniel: I’ll get you an autograph from Tim Drake-Wayne?
TooFine: deal.
Daniel: 🥳🎉
Daniel: ok so the footage from somewhere around 3 am last night
Daniel: around some place named park row??
Daniel: I think it’s called?? 🤔
Daniel: though I’m pretty sure I’ve also heard some people refer to it as crime alley
Daniel: not sure why tho 🤷
TooTine: aye aye captain o7
Chaos: Danny, in an alley getting attacked by the fucking Joker: I wonder why this place is called crime alley
Daniel: stop bullying me 😠
Chaos: No
TooFine: hey danny r u sure thats right? i checked the cams n stuff but theres no available footage from the area n time u described
TooFine: its like someones already wiped it all
Daniel: oh!
Daniel: that’s so sweet of him  😊
Chaos: Wait who is this ‘him’?
TooFine: the joker????
Daniel: oh no not the Joker
Daniel: just some cute guy I met last night  
Daniel: he witnessed me killing the Joker 🫣
Daniel: and didn’t call the cops on me afterward 🥰💞
TooFine: def green flag
Chaos: Oh hell yeah, he’s a keeper
Chaos: Wait you killed the Joker?! I thought you just fought him off!
Daniel: it was an accident!! 😭😭
Daniel: he crept up on me and tried to grab me 😓
Daniel: so I got startled and because all I saw was a clown
Daniel: I just kinda punched his face in with my ghost strength… 😰
TooFine: f
Chaos: f
Sharpshooter: Have you gotten rid of the body yet? Did you leave behind DNA at the crime scene? Will I need to start saving up bail money or getting ready to enact the Fenton Break Out plan?
Chaos: Jazz asking the important questions here
Daniel: well, considering the footage was wiped
Daniel: and also the fact that no one’s found him yet
Daniel: I think it’s safe to assume it’s all taken care of
Daniel: that’s honestly really sweet of him though 🥰😊
TooFine: oohhhhh ur mystery boo??
Daniel: yeah, this random guy saw me vibe-checking the Joker
Daniel: and let me go home without any trouble
Daniel: pretty sure he’s the one who wiped the cams 🤔
Daniel: and then today he showed up at my apartment with flowers 🥺
Daniel: they were sweat peas!!!! 🥰🤩
Chaos: Was that to thank you for the murder orrrr?
Sharpshooter: Oh those are your favorite, was that on purpose?
Daniel: well I didn’t tell him
Daniel: so I’m not sure if he knew or if it was a coincidence 🤷
Daniel: but yeah then he took me out to this restaurant called Pete’s for dinner
Daniel: they had some amazing cannoli
Daniel: you should try it sometime if you get the chance
Daniel: and then after dinner he took me to the observatory!!!!!!! 🤩🥰
Sharpshooter: Gotham observatory?
Sharpshooter: Isn’t that the one with the special telescope, I think you mentioned it before
Daniel: yeah, the crystal-powered telescope!! 😍💞✨🤩❤️
Daniel: and at the end, he brought me home
Daniel: and he asked for my number!!!
TooFine: nice dude!
Chaos: The guy really went all-out and planned your dream date hu? So, what’s this mystery hunk’s name?
Daniel: oh I’m not sure, I didn’t ask 🙃🤭
Sharpshooter: Danny…
Daniel: yes?
Sharpshooter: Did you go on a date with a complete stranger who witnessed you commit a murder?
Chaos: How do you not even know his name?
Daniel: two words Jazz: Johnny 13
Daniel: and he’s not a stranger!! 😠
Sharpshooter: But you don’t know his name?
Chaos: We just can’t leave him alone, can we? Less than a week on his own and he already murdered one of Gotham’s most infamous rogues and then completely forgets the concept of Stranger Danger
Daniel: I mean he probably just found it when he tried to do some research on me or something
Daniel: probably got it from the school’s system now that I think of it 🤔
TooFine: dude who the hell is this guy??
Chaos: Who the fuck did you go on a date with?
Daniel: do you really think it was a date? 🥺😳
Daniel: I wasn’t sure
Daniel: cause he mainly took me out for dinner to thank me for the night before
Daniel: but then again
Daniel: he did get me flowers and ask for my number after he brought me back to my apartment 🤔
Daniel: like I wasn’t sure if I was reading the signals right…..
Daniel: but do you think that was a date? 🫣
Sharpshooter: Danny, for the love of the Ancients.
Sharpshooter: Who was it?
Daniel: oh, it was Red Hood 🥰
TooFine: damn dannys got that vigilante rizz
Sharpshooter: Red Hood? The crime lord?!
TooFine: former, actually
Daniel: what he said ^^
Chaos: Danny, you really have a type huh? Vigilantes with a Red theme. Who’s next? Red Robin?
Daniel: stop bullying me
TooFine: never
Chaos: Never
Daniel: on a different note, who changed my name in the chat again?
Sharpshooter: Ellie did.
Chaos: Ellie
TooFine: @TheCoolerDaniel
TheCoolerDaniel: 😎
TheCoolerDaniel: wait i just read back, danny’s dating a crime lord?? :0 👀
---
Taglist (for now, I’ll probably stop if I cant keep up):
@i-always-say-yea  @uraniumwizard
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francy-sketches · 3 months
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made a pie chart of asoiaf dragon colors bc I was curious about it ^_^ my verdict is asoiaf is severely lacking in cool dragon designs why's there so much grey/brown/green I need more prettygirls. (I based this off of the books/grrm's descriptions, so vhagar is counted as bronze and vermax is undescribed even tho they're green in hotd. also quicksilver is technically undescribed but I counted her as silver bc of the name)
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also heres a version not counting the undescribed ones
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poirott · 8 months
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Ariadne Oliver and Hercule Poirot, detective duo
Mrs Oliver is detective novelist and Poirot's friend. She accompanies Poirot on several of his most famous cases, providing her own unique perspective on each of the crimes they encounter. She is feisty, quick to jump to conclusions (sometimes right, sometimes wrong), and strongly believes that Scotland Yard would be better run by a woman. Ariadne Oliver is, in many ways, a vehicle for Agatha Christie's own voice, particularly in relation to writing and the public. In a 1956 interview with John Bull magazine, Agatha Christie dismissed the idea that any of her characters are truly derived from real life, although she did admit that Mrs Oliver has "a strong dash" of herself. Christie always took a somewhat tongue in cheek approach to her supposed fictional alter ego, who she credited with writing a novel called The Body in the Library, a title she would use herself in 1942.
A HAUNTING IN VENICE (2023), dir. Kenneth Branagh
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You're cornered, a blade held tight to your neck ready to slice and cut should you be anything but good and perfect and useful. Your teeth are bared, too sharp and trying desperately to bite the hand that feeds you - trying desperately to bite and kill something that will let you escape from this hell of repetition.
You're dangerous - yet you break so easily. You're a loyal soldier who does as they're told and asked - yet you're beginning to doubt the man you stand beside. You're loyal to a terrible, terrible fault - but having to kill your friends is one step too far over the edge you're teetering on. Maybe it was good, maybe it will get you the praise you desperately strive for, but standing atop your house sobbing and breaking down - trying so desperately to convince yourself this is temporary and good and *you're not a bad person*, doesn't really hold that same impression.
There's blood on your hands again - more permanent and literal than it was with Momboo, and deeper and darker and a harder stain to scrub than it was with Ocie. It seeps into your gloves like an infection slowly rotting away your bones - rotting away *you.* It stains them a deep, deep red; a color so deep that won't come clean from the canvas. It stains your hands pink, dyeing them red in a way that won't come clean - won't come *off* - no matter how hard you scrub.
You keep trying and trying and *trying* - and you just keep failing. There is no being good in this - there are other ways; pleasing the person holding your best friend above your head isn't going to get you anywhere - because there is no, there never has been, any friend to bring back. It's temporary, you tell yourself, and yet you can't even convince yourself of that.
There are asterisks upon asterisks attached to your words; so many unsaid "right?"s that attach themselves to the ends of your sentences. Worries and questions and fears you don't voice yet permeate your actions; moving your birds away from your bed to the safety of a tower because you're so so terrified the hands made to hurt and harm and *kill* will do so upon something so innocent. So terrified you'll hurt the only things still willing to try and help and protect you. You're worried, so terrified, that these hands that were made for killing - that were *made* to be stained with blood - will do so; that they will follow through with their intended purpose. The unsaid terror that your hands, the ones made with the distinct purpose to harm and bleed, will kill and rot and decay until there is nothing of your friends, and your family, and yourself.
You're terrified - bareing too sharp teeth at anyone who dares try to help. You're a cornered animal, not afraid to bite and harm - but only doing so out of fear. A raptorous bird they call you, your brother a drake cornered - but aren't you, too, cornered? Only raptorous out of necessity for survival, shoved much too far into a too-small corner with a too sharp blade held to your neck - prepared to take your life without much of a second thought.
Raptorous you are, Icarus, but too are you cornered and terrified. Your hands stained red with the blood of a friend and the blood of family. You can't scrub them clean, not anymore, not *like this* - but gods, how you will try. (And gods, how you will fail.) You will try so desperately to convince yourself; and fail and break and *shatter* because you can't. It's temporary, you tell yourself, but the cracks start to show and the doubt starts to creep and the tears start to *fall* - and suddenly there is no coming back from this.
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so, with the confirm here in 3.13 that Saskia is very committed to blowing up the Vault, it is time to raise a question I've LONG had and now feels relevant: what happens if you kill one of the Saskias?
personally, I imagine it'll suck like HELL, but she won't like... die. but, like, seriously, what happens.
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the-force-awakens · 4 months
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When I dropped my sword I threw it in the bushes and knocked on your door And we live in peace But if someone comes at us This time, I'm ready
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ratcandy · 2 months
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3 straight hours of drawing and editing through a horrid migraine for a whole THIRTY SECONDS of self-indulgence beyond your wildest dreams. we call this being extremely normal
song is Bernadette by IAMX
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nia-academia · 2 months
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boards season is over and there's going to be a mass burnout because all of us spent the last two months on minimal sleep, oversaturated on coffee
so here's a few reminders:
you did good. stop worrying about it stop trying to calculate what your percentage might be stop thinking about the dumb mistakes you could've avoided, its okay. you did good.
take a break, even if for a day or two because i know a lot of us have a whole lot of entrance tests coming up. but our brains and bodies have been on overdrive so take a break, you deserve it
rejuvenate. try slowly bringing yourself back into a normal schedule. work on fixing your sleep schedule, work on eating better. there's a long road ahead of us, you want to have a healthy sustainable routine to make it through this.
explore. it is not too late to change your path, i promise. this is the last chance you get to change your mind, don't waste it. explore your options now that you have full knowledge about your strengths and limits, there is so much more out there than we've been told. there are so many options i guarantee you will find your perfect fit, don't compromise on your future by just going along with the crowd, find what you want to do and work for it.
lots of love <3
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hella1975 · 2 months
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a post about fic updates! so the fics im currently juggling are dog teeth, tams, and of course, taob. my original plan was to start posting the second installment of the dog teeth series by sometime in april, bc it's the fic im most into atm and i already have the first chapter done, i just want to bank another one or two because once i start posting it i want to KEEP posting it with regular updates, hopefully every 2 weeks like with kaiein. HOWEVER this will put my atla fics on a back burner. april is a good writing time for me (PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE) bc i have the entire month off from uni to prep for may exam season, and i always want to write when im procrastinating my degree. which is. it's own thing im sure i'll graduate it's fine i'm fine. so if i focus on dog teeth, neither tams nor taob will get focus until like. june. which is par for the course with taob but im NOT happy about doing with tams.
SO my thought process was i can either be normal about this and just accept it's literally my final year at uni and im trying to graduate and it doesn't matter if updates are slow on ANY fics, or i can do my usual and implement an insane deadline that i somehow always make by the skin of my teeth. can you guess what i went with?
and thus i present unto the crowd my tentative plan: have the next taob chapter done by middle of april (im aware this is quite hand-wavey but it gives me a month to work with, so in my head this means anything between april 10th-20th), have the next tams chapter done by the end of april, and dog teeth can follow.
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