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criticalbennifer · 1 year

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How Jennifer Lopez Found Happily Ever After

By: Rob Haskell

November 8, 2022

On a disquietingly hot and windy October day at the outer edges of the San Fernando Valley, Jennifer Lopez—who has never been accused of lacking ambition—is saving the world. Not this world, though it surely also needs saving, but an imagined dystopia some century ahead in which robots, according to their frustrating custom, threaten the human race.

“To me, it’s a love story,” says Lopez, and she laughs.

She laughs because of course she would see it thus, because love is her big project in this world, her messy, public, decades-long, sometimes glamorous, sometimes treacherous, often thwarted project, the lens that when it comes down over her eyes can’t help but turn everything as pink as the six-carat diamond with which Ben Affleck proposed to her the first time, in 2002. But Atlas—the movie she is shooting today, part of a new deal between her film company, Nuyorican Productions, and Netflix—isn’t most people’s idea of a love story. In fact, it’s a straight-up sci-fi action thriller, in which Lopez plays a military intelligence analyst assigned to reconfigure a potentially lethal form of artificial intelligence. Though the costumery is more Mad Max than Wedding Planner, scholars of the Jennifer Lopez catalog will find in Atlas’s protagonist a familiar character: the headstrong careerist with little time for life’s mushier feelings until the right man (or droid) comes along.

“Closed off. Totally obsessed with her work. Dealing with a lot of pain and sadness from her childhood,” Lopez continues, making an explicit allusion to the porousness that has characterized the relationship between her life and her art over the last three decades. “She has to learn how to let him in so that they can be stronger together.”

We are sitting between takes in her tent on the soundstage, where great efforts have been made to create an oasis on a hectic, buzzing set. Her favorite candle flickers on a cream-colored faux-shagreen desk, and a black Hermès blanket is draped over the massage table. In the little living room, a marble chess set rests on a marble coffee table, and above it hangs a green neon sign whose soft cursive reads “Mrs. Affleck.” It was a gift from the crew.

Lopez, her hair matted, her neck and temple caked with fake blood, is surprised to learn that a few days after her marriage this July, The New York Times published an opinion piece expressing disappointment that at a moment when feminist ideals felt imperiled in America, Lopez had taken her husband’s name. (She shared this news, along with a few photos of the family jaunt to Vegas, in her free, subscription-based “On the JLo” newsletter, where her biggest fans get a not overly filtered but nevertheless highly curated monthly update about her life.)

“What? Really?” she asks. “People are still going to call me Jennifer Lopez. But my legal name will be Mrs. Affleck because we’re joined together. We’re husband and wife. I’m proud of that. I don’t think that’s a problem.” You mean there’s no part of you that might want Ben to be Mr. Lopez? She laughs. “No! It’s not traditional. It doesn’t have any romance to it. It feels like it’s a power move, you know what I mean? I’m very much in control of my own life and destiny and feel empowered as a woman and as a person. I can understand that people have their feelings about it, and that’s okay, too. But if you want to know how I feel about it, I just feel like it’s romantic. It still carries tradition and romance to me, and maybe I’m just that kind of girl.”

That Lopez has pursued love across four marriages, two broken engagements, and assorted misbegotten alliances over 25 years should be news to almost no one. Neither is the fact that her great romantic experiment has coincided with a relentless professional momentum, an enormously productive and still expanding career (more than 30 movies, eight studio albums, a dizzying array of branding endeavors), and now, at the age of 53, an untouchable aura that somehow contains glamour, grit, and goodness all at once. While it sometimes seems as if Beyoncé might live on a small, satin-upholstered space station, Lopez, despite her aura, has remained accessible, real, gears exposed, Jenny from the block and all that. Though she possesses an unusually deft touch with the press, dusting the trail with crumbs and remaining an object of extreme media fascination for a quarter century, Lopez has also built more walls around her over the years.

“In the beginning I was of the mind that I could say or do anything,” she recalls. “I was from the Bronx, and who didn’t say what they thought there?” Her early relationship with Affleck offered a cruel lesson, as the tabloid press denigrated her with racist and classist dog whistles; South Park parodied her viciously, and Conan O’Brien told his audience that the show’s “cleaning lady” would be playing Lopez in a sketch. “We were so young and so in love at that time, really very carefree, with no kids, no attachments. And we were just living our lives, being happy and out there. It didn’t feel like we needed to hide from anybody or be real discreet. We were just living out loud, and it turned out to really bite us. There was a lot underneath the surface there, people not wanting us to be together, people thinking I wasn’t the right person for him.” Over the ensuing years Lopez has seemed to gather a force field around her, as if weaponized against derisive scrutiny. “I became very guarded because I realized that they will fillet you. I really wish I could say more. I used to be like that. I am like that. But I’ve also learned.”

Lopez would like especially to say more about the journey back to Ben Affleck, which, really, has been a journey of self-discovery that began around 12 years ago, when she was newly separated from the singer-actor Marc Anthony and suddenly a single mother of twin babies. It was the professional and emotional low point of her career: A couple of albums had sputtered, and she no longer seemed to be getting the movie offers that had flowed in in previous years. Financially strained and somewhat aimless, in 2011 she accepted a job as a judge on American Idol, which, to her great surprise, reinvigorated her career. It turned out that the human touch was what her audience, and the industry, needed from her.

“It was like, Oh! That’s all I had to do this whole time was be myself? Although it was a competition, it was a reality show,” she explains, “and I had never done one. Up until then we only had what the media was telling you about me. I loved meeting the kids because I so identified with their dreams—I just loved it. There were a lot of things that people saw through that show, but more than anything I think they saw my heart, that I was a cool, funny person, that I was a nice person. No matter how many awards shows you do or late-night talk show couches you sit on, people feel like you’re putting something on. With a reality show, you can’t hide behind a script or a four-minute interview. You’re out there.”

At the same time, Lopez was privately beginning a process of self-reflection and self-improvement that emanated from the experience of motherhood. Motifs had emerged in her unsuccessful romantic relationships, which she felt ready to disrupt. “I just didn’t understand what it was to care for myself, to not put somebody else’s feelings and needs—and your need for them to love you—in front of taking care of yourself,” she says. “You turn yourself into a pretzel for people and think that that’s a noble thing, to put yourself second. And it’s not. Those patterns become deep patterns that you carry with you, and then at a certain point you go, Wait, this doesn’t feel good. Why am I never happy? I really felt that way for a long time. And finally I was just like, Ugh! It’s time to figure me out because I need to be good for these babies. And even from there, with all the willingness I had, it took years and years to really put the pieces together, like, Oh, this thing I do because of this, that thing I do because that happened to me at this age.”

Lopez grew up in the Castle Hill neighborhood of the Bronx, in what she describes as a typical working-class Puerto Rican household. Though her background has been overmined for clues to future greatness—the strict upbringing, church every Sunday, early exposure by her mother to musicals, an impressive high school athletic career—two details stand out. Guadalupe Rodríguez was a young mother, fun and performative but tough as nails and sometimes overwhelmed with her three daughters, not above resorting to corporal punishment with them, which Jennifer has tried to understand as the custom of the time and place. “We respected her, but we also feared her,” she recalls. “She did what she needed to keep us in line.” And David Lopez, her father, worked nights and wasn’t always available to his family. When they divorced, after 33 years of marriage, Jennifer recalls, it came as a shock, though perhaps it shouldn’t have.

Over the course of our discussions, Lopez alludes to encounters with self-help texts, meditation, psychotherapy, psychiatry, and life coaching. She appears to have attacked the project of working through her childhood trauma, and its present-day reverberations in the form of unhealthy attachments, with the same intensity she has brought to her career pursuits. “My parents taught me the value of hard work and the importance of being a good person,” she explains. “But the combination of them was what I’ve had to figure out. It shaped what I liked as far as my personal life was concerned. Without infringing on their privacy, that was it: Who your mom is and who your dad is and how they love you and teach you to love become the positive and negative patterns that you have to overcome in life.”

Lopez and I meet for breakfast at the Polo Lounge at the Beverly Hills Hotel, at a table in the very back of the garden, in front of which a large potted privet creates the safety of vagueness. The restaurant is a sort of default meeting place for the residents of high-hedged neighboring enclaves such as Bel Air and Holmby Hills, and she arrives without security. Privacy is important to her, but it’s also important that people understand that she is not asking for anyone’s sympathy for the tariffs of fame. “The other day,” she recalls, “one of my kids said, ‘I want to go to the flea market.’ I was like, ‘Oh, you want me and Ben to come?’ They said, ‘You know, it’s such a thing when you go, Mom.’ It hurt my feelings. I get it. They want time with their friends when they aren’t being watched and followed and photographed. It’s a thing. Nobody’s complaining, but it’s a thing.”

She eats a bowl of oatmeal with cinnamon and sugar, a popular Puerto Rican breakfast, as her mother made it, and drinks a decaf cappuccino (she gave up caffeine years ago). She wears a black denim jacket with the collar turned up, her hair is pulled into a tight bun, her skin is preternaturally youthful—perhaps the twin effect of DNA and the olive oil–rich tinctures in her JLo Beauty line. (To answer a question that many people asked me after we met, yes. She is absolutely as beautiful in person.)

“I’m not one of these tortured artists,” Lopez says. “Yes, I’ve lived with tremendous sadness, like anybody else, many, many times in my life, and pain. But when I make my best music or my best art is when I’m happy and full and feel lots of love.” Such was the mood that surrounded the writing and recording of her forthcoming album, which will be her first in nearly a decade. I’m not allowed to reveal the title, but suffice it to say that it serves as a kind of bookend to This Is Me…Then, the album she released 20 years ago in the heady early days of her relationship with Affleck.

Lopez’s longtime manager, Benny Medina, told me that Lopez has a way of falling in love with whatever she is immersed in at the moment. While she has several films out in the coming months, including the rom-com-with-a-twist Shotgun Wedding this winter and The Mother, in which she stars as an ex-assassin, in the middle of next year, it is this album that pulls Lopez’s enthusiasm at the moment. She says that it will be the most honest work she has ever done, “kind of a culmination of who I am as a person and an artist. People think they know things about what happened to me along the way, the men I was with—but they really have no idea, and a lot of times they get it so wrong. There’s a part of me that was hiding a side of myself from everyone. And I feel like I’m at a place in my life, finally, where I have something to say about it.” She lends me her AirPods so that I can listen to a few rough cuts from the record. There are plaintive, confessional songs, reflections on the trials of her past, upbeat jams celebrating love and sex. As I’m listening, I notice that she has closed her eyes, and she is dancing in her chair and singing along to her own voice. For a moment it occurs to me that she might be treating me to a little performance, but no, she is just so into it.

You might say that Lopez has been in a kind zone since 2019–2020, the period that she regards as her career’s peak so far. She delivered a critically heralded performance in Hustlers, her most successful movie to date; she completed a 38-show, international concert tour, also her most successful to date; she walked the runway for Versace in a reincarnation of her iconic green jungle-print Grammys dress on the occasion of its 20th anniversary (and held her own, she thought, in a sea of 19-year-old models); she co-headlined the Super Bowl halftime show; and she turned 50. “It was like, fashion! movies! music! It was all coming together,” she recalls. She also felt emboldened to take a public political stand, adding a segment to her Super Bowl set in which Latinx children, among them her own child, Emme, sang her hit “Let’s Get Loud” from inside cages—a rebuke against the Trump administration’s injustices at the border. According to Lopez, the NFL initially wanted to cut the act from her program, but she held firm.

“Early in my career people would ask about politics, but I always felt like people didn’t really want to hear from an actor or somebody who sang pop songs,” she remembers. “Like a shut-up-and-dance kind of situation. I didn’t have the confidence, and I didn’t want to make a mistake. But you get to a point in your life where you realize, if something’s wrong, you say it. If you’re not doing something about it then you’re kind of complicit. Whether it was kids in cages, or kids getting shot in the street by police—all these things where it was just like, What the hell is going on around here? When did we lose our way? There were so many awful, ugly attitudes coming to light. It was really sad because it didn’t need to be political. It was about being a good person, loving your neighbor, all the things that people say they stand for but then they don’t practice because somebody’s not the same as them or somebody has a different sexual orientation or gender identity or a different race. It’s like, Really? You can’t just do you? You can’t just be you and be happy and let somebody else be happy too?”

She says the Affleck-Lopez home in Los Angeles is a place where this newly blended family (her 14-year-old twins, his three children from his marriage to Jennifer Garner, ranging in age from 10 to 17) is passionate and vocal about a range of political and social issues. “This generation is beautifully aware and involved and brave,” she says, “and they will call bullshit on stuff really quick. I want my kids to stand up for themselves and the things they care about. I want all the little girls in the world to get loud. Get loud! Say it when it’s wrong. Don’t be afraid. I was afraid for a long time: afraid to not get the job, to piss people off, afraid that people wouldn’t like me. No.”

Lopez’s intimates know that she has always held a candle for Affleck. Shortly after she and the retired baseball great Alex Rodriguez called off their engagement in early 2021, she got an email from the actor-director, who had just come out of a relationship with the actress Ana de Armas. A magazine had asked Affleck for a comment about Lopez, and he wanted her to know that he had provided a rave. They kept talking. They started visiting each other at home. “Obviously we weren’t trying to go out in public,” she explains. “But I never shied away from the fact that for me, I always felt like there was a real love there, a true love there. People in my life know that he was a very, very special person in my life. When we reconnected, those feelings for me were still very real.”

She says that she and Affleck are as stunned as anyone else to have managed to recapture an early, important love, and the fairy-tale ending-ness of it all continues to amuse them. (This is not to say that she is rolling her eyes. Lopez believes in the fairy tale. A plaque displayed at their wedding, held at Affleck’s home in Savannah, Georgia, this August, a month after they were legally married, read, Love always hopes and always perseveres.) “I don’t know that I recommend this for everybody,” she says. “Sometimes you outgrow each other, or you just grow differently. The two of us, we lost each other and found each other. Not to discredit anything in between that happened, because all those things were real too. All we’ve ever wanted was to kind of come to a place of peace in our lives where we really felt that type of love that you feel when you’re very young and wonder if you can have that again. Does it exist? Is it real? All those questions that I think everyone has. You go through all these relationships, and you’re searching and you’re connecting and you’re disconnecting with people, and you’re like, God, is this just what life is? Like a carousel, roller coaster, carnival ride? And then it settles. But the journey to that is the mystery for everybody.”

Though she did not use this word, my sense is that Lopez and Affleck are both in a kind of recovery, in their separate ways. Affleck has struggled with alcoholism for more than 20 years and more recently worked hard toward building a lasting sobriety. If Lopez has had a parallel compulsion, it is in the domain of love, and she has done her work, too. “I have to forgive myself for the things that I did that I’m not proud of, the choices that I made that worked against me,” she explains. “Self-love is really about boundaries. Learning what you’re comfortable with and putting up the boundaries, not being afraid of the consequences. Knowing that in taking care of yourself, everything will turn out okay, that people will treat you the way you want to be treated and your life will feel good to you. For a long time, I was just like, Yes, do whatever you want! I can take it, I’ll be here, because I’m really strong, and I’ll be fine. Little by little it chips away at your self-worth, your self-esteem, your soul.”

The couple has brought a lot of thought to the project of integrating their households, and they are learning about parenting from each other. Affleck’s ex-wife is, Lopez says, “an amazing co-parent, and they work really well together.” Lopez does not have the benefit of such a relationship with her ex-husband, who lives on the East Coast. “The transition is a process that needs to be handled with so much care,” she says. “They have so many feelings. They’re teens. But it’s going really well so far. What I hope to cultivate with our family is that his kids have a new ally in me and my kids have a new ally in him, someone who really loves and cares about them but can have a different perspective and help me see things that I can’t see with my kids because I’m so emotionally tied up.”

Of course, Lopez is raising children with a great deal more privilege than she enjoyed at their age, and she hopes that her own model for hard work goes some way toward keeping them grounded. “It’s hard, in its own way, when you don’t have to fight for things, because then you don’t learn how to be a fighter,” she says, boxing at the air with her fists. “I had to learn how to be a fighter. I wanted to give them a life that I didn’t have, but they don’t get to have the experience of something that is also helpful, which is developing that survivalist mentality.” She has made a point of stepping out of her mother’s shadow as a parent, trying not to raise her voice, keeping her temper, not matching her children when they rev up. “I really wanted to find a better way than having to put the fear in them. It’s like, I can hold a boundary with you but also be your ally. That’s the balance, where they respect you enough because you act in a way that they can look up to. It’s what I feel like I want to do because when I was young that wasn’t what it was.”

And yet Guadalupe Rodríguez worked hard to teach her daughters to be good as well as great. It’s a lesson Lopez is keen to pass on. “I’ll stress to them, like, I want you to do well in school,” she adds (her twins started high school this fall), “and then my son always finishes the sentence. He goes, ‘But you care more that we’re good people.’ I say, ‘That’s right. I do.’ The beauty of being a parent is that you think you’re going to teach them all these things, and you do. You pass on all the things that you know, all the knowledge you have. But at the end of the day they wind up teaching you so much and reminding you of the things you need to know about life and how to love somebody and how to care for people, that in your 20s and 30s, as you’re doing your own thing, you can lose sight of. We get so self-centered at certain points in our lives when we have our goals and our things.”

Affleck, for his part, is glad that his wife tolerates his singing in the shower. To him, the big draw all these years later was not the ways Lopez has changed but the ways she has not. “There is something innately, magically kind and good and full of love at the heart of who Jennifer is,” he explains. “That’s exactly the person I remember from 20 years ago. Maybe she sees all the changes she’s made, whereas when I see her, mostly I just see someone who has retained, against the odds, the thing about her that always made her the most incredible to me: a heart that seems boundless with love. She is my idea of the kind of person I want to be.”

Lopez has grand, multimedia plans for her current musical project. She wants to create a musical odyssey in the manner of Pink Floyd’s The Wall, she says—but with a message about hope and love. Perhaps the most poignant moment in Halftime, the documentary about her Super Bowl year released on Netflix last June, occurs when Lopez is reading out loud from an article about herself in Glamour. “It’s thrilling to see a criminally underrated performer”—here she pauses, and tears well in her eyes—“get her due from prestige film outlets.” In fact Lopez did not quite get her due, having been denied an Academy Award nomination, which some in the industry viewed as a snub. A Grammy continues to elude her, too. Despite her stardom, she has spent years fighting for credibility, and for all her artistic accomplishment, to some people she is, simply, Jennifer Lopez for a living. This hurts less than it once did.

“I’ve always felt like an outsider, in the fashion world, the music world, the movie world,” she explains. “I feel like everybody knows each other and all the artists talk, and you go to the Met ball and all the girls are hanging out together, and I’m not in that group. Maybe that’s just insecurity. It’s not because I’m antisocial or I don’t want to make friends. I’ve always been kind of a march-to-the-beat-of-my-own-drum, loner-type person. I’m like, I’ll just stay focused on my thing. I’ve always kind of felt like that. I still do. But I try! It used to be about the idea of validation in other people’s eyes. It really used to be. Because I wanted to be part of the club. But I don’t anymore. There’s something bigger that I’m after. It’s about touching people’s lives and being touched.”

Twenty years ago, in an era that has sometimes been referred to as Bennifer 1.0, Affleck gave Lopez the nickname “Little.” At six foot four, he is nearly a foot taller. When they reunited, he told her that he wasn’t sure if that old moniker still applied, that she seemed somehow too fully realized to be called “Little” even affectionately. But the pet name has returned, even as Lopez has come to seem like the dewy-skinned den mother of us all, a force for good on a sometimes dark planet. Growing up, getting there, has been her life’s work, on top of all that…work. “You come out the other side, and you’re better, you’re stronger, you’re good on your own,” she says. “But there’s a little piece of that former self that was totally open, innocent, and unafraid, that is gone. Sometimes I mourn that, because I’m such a romantic.” Her voice has softened to a whisper. “And because I loved that person so much.

“My whole life, my whole music career was just about love: every movie I picked, every album I made. Even though I’m super proud of who I am today, and I wouldn’t change a fucking thing—and I can finally say that, as a human being, as a woman, as a partner, as a wife, as a coworker, as a mother and stepmom—there’s just that little piece where you feel like, That old me? She was sweet.”

#jennifer lopez #us vogue #press/article #2022

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cyborg-franky · 2 years

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Ask Game

OH MAN I GOT SO MANY THANK YOU I love you all and these were all super dumb and super fun.

@ivy-spivy [Buggy/Ace/Franky] 6. go clothes shopping with, go to ikea with, go grocery shopping with. Lord, lord.... lord. My wife looks at me with fear on their face as they know I am the most grumpy, angry piece of shit when I have to go grocery shopping and if it was with Buggy or Ace the place would get set the fuck on fire. Franky would have been my first choice for taking me clothes shopping cus we have the same style but for everyone's sake. Franky for grocery shopping. Buggy for clothes shopping, lets make man bad choices together baby. Ace and me go to ikea and pick out really ugly furniture for the house and Marco isn't happy we came back with useless crap and why is our dining room table something from mad max.

@childofblackmaria [Thatch/Kiku/Marco] 8. share a car with, share a bank account with, share a cake with Thatch for a cake, we'd have a nice cup of tea and eat the cake he more then likely made himself and it'll be wonderful. Kiku I think she would be the best to share one with, I'd not be mad if she spent all the money because she deserves everything. Marco with a car because I just live for the mental image of that long legged bastard in a small car.

ANON: [Luffy/Sanji]Zoro] 10. netflix and chill with, go ice-skating with, play dodgeball against I think Sanji would be great to go ice-skating with? like he has grace and would be so fun to watch and probably the one that would catch me before I hit the fucking side of the wall and re arrange my own face.

Luffy for dogeball though every single one of them I would hate, hate, hate to be against. I feel Luffy would at least see it as a FUN GAME BETWEEN FRIENDS and I'd escape with my life. Netflix and chill [I hope to fuck you mean platonic] Zoro. He wouldn't care what I watched and we'd just vibe. Get drunk watching bad horrors.

@lawscorazon [Marco/Ace/Thatch] 3. fight aliens with, fight zombies with, fight capitalism with Aliens with Thatch? they might be scared of his hair and think he was a xenomorph or something? Marco with zombies because he's good at dealing with plague-esc issues I guess? also we can fly. Can't catch us up here fuckers.

Ace for capitalism. BURN IT ALL TO THE FUCKING GROUND.

@secretsnailor [Smoker/Pops/Thatch] 4. write a book with, read a book to, hit with a book Write a book with pops! he would have so many wonderful stories and adventures that would be so interesting and great to note down!

Thatch would be all cuddled up in bed with his hair rollers in, his little fancy silk PJs as I read a book to him, cheesy romance novels with awful sex scenes. Or I read from his favorite recipe book. Throw a book at Smoker and just run like the bitch I am.

@sarcasm-vending-machine [Ace/Kuzan/Shanks] 3. fight aliens with, fight zombies with, fight capitalism with I already picked Ace for the last one before. I feel Shanks could just haki all the aliens out the sky... or scare them away... Kuzan could freeze all the zombies...

@smoleeveewrites [Ace/Marco/Thatch] 5. go on a six hour road trip with (no car radio, you choose who drives), sit next to on a six hour plane flight, sit across from on a six hour train journey Marco for the roadtrip, he would be a delight to drive with. I think we'd keep the convo light, playful, fun, point out dumb shit as we drive. Maybe stop at dumb roadside attractions.

Watch as he has to take many breaks to stretch those long ass legs of his. Thatch for the flight, he'd just read, watch the movies, be pleasant, keep in his lane. Though he would moan for hours about the state of the food on t he flight and I'd be tempted to choke him on his scarf.

Ace for the train. I think he would love the train and be distracted by what was going on outside. There's room for him to like.. fuck off and get snacks too. We'd have a table on the train and we could play card games or watch dumb shit on our phones together.

@howlingartbean [Kid/Sanji/Thatch] loooord

2. fist fight, get drunk with, share a flat with SHARE A FLAT WITH THATCH, He would be so pure, he'd bake and cook for us, he'd be so soft and sweet and always make sure I'm eating and drinking water. I don't care how often his hair is a problem for the drain he still beats Sanji and Kid.

Get drunk with Kid, I feel he'd be at least a fun drunk friend. We'd start fights with tree's and trash cans. Screaming at one another in the middle of a street at 5am and one of us ends up crying and makeup running down out face, spoiler alert that's Kid.

I'm fairly certain if we were only allowed to use fists I'd win against Sanji. He'd more then likely be like 'not worth my hands bitch' and storm off to cry about it to like Zoro or something.

@eustasssimp [Marco/Thatch/Ace]

6.go clothes shopping with, go to ikea with, go grocery shopping with

Thatch would be the best to go grocery shopping with... he'd keep me sane or at least push me around in the trolley like a spoiled child as I sit and eat something before we get to check out and he stacks cereal boxes on me.

Ace and me love out Ikea dates now, we go and eat in the little restaurant place, play hide and seek in all the set up fake rooms the place has. We either come out with thousands of pounds worth of crap again or we get lost and the store has to call Marco to come and pick us up.

Marco and me going clothes shopping. He buys another 20 of the same purple shirt and gets even higher heels to wear, even strappier. He helps me buy the ugliest shirts so you can see me a mile away and think I'm going to rip you off with a used car. Just living out best gay vacation uncle vibes.

@my-muses-in-op [Thatch/Shanks/Rayleigh]

6. go clothes shopping with, go to ikea with, go grocery shopping with

Thatch for the latter 100% as said above.

Me and Shanks go to Ikea and by awful shit that our spouses would hate. We also talk about our spouses aggressively. 100% we by the bed that looks like a pirate ship.

Rayleigh can maybe take me to get some adult clothes instead of me living my best drunk vacation uncle vibes. Makes me dress nice so I'm allowed in places there isn't a 'dollar menu' option.

I go home and Marco and Ace are like 'wtf are those' at my full length pants and appropriate going outside in the cold attire. ---------------------------------------------------------

ANON [Marco/Izou/Ace]

10. netflix and chill with, go ice-skating with, play dodgeball against

Izou would be MAGICAL ice skating but like I really love the idea of Ace falling on his ass and accidentally melting the entire ice rink out of frustration. Plus Ace ice skating means I don't have to be against his ass in the dogeball section.

Izou for dodgeball, I feel like he'd consider the entire thing a waste of getting sweaty and just throw one perfectly aimed ball at my face, beat me and just like... go and get a drink. Not a hair out of place as he murders me and I'd still say thank you.

Marco for netflix and chill. I'd cuddle up to this big bird and we'd watch stuff and just vibe and if it was that kinda chill he'd be good enough to arrange me so I could still see the TV screen.

#ask game #thank you #this was fun #so much sillyness

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blueteller · 2 years

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How I rate stuff (because, why not?)

I enjoy fiction a lot. While most of the time I don't strictly put things in categories (also, my tastes and opinions might change over time), I thought it would be fun to make a post about how I rate different series and works of fiction that I like – or don't like.

So here's a couple of examples, on the scale of 0-10:

(Remember this is based on my enjoyment, not objective criticism! Beside I'm a pretty lax critic, I truly start to dislike things only like, 3 and below. So have mercy on me! I'm just being honest)

10/10 - I have very few complaints, nothing more than nitpicks. Otherwise I enjoy everything about it. (Example: Avatar the Last Airbender - love everyhing about it)

9/10 - I have one major issue or a couple minor ones, but apart from that it's similar: I love it (My little Pony: Friendship is Magic - surprisingly, I love most of it)

8/10 - I have some issues which I consider visible, but still liked it a lot (Star Wars series - not all of it, but the best of it)

7/10 - I have a significant amount of issues, but still mostly liked it (Harry Potter series - my favorite bashing series, so many plot holes to tear through, it's hilarious)

6/10 - liked it, but probably wasn't a fan (Pokemon franchise - my childhood, but not nearly on the top of my list)

5/10 - I didn't dislike it, but I wasn't invested either (Star vs Forces of Evil - I liked the Eclipsa plotline at first but otherwise, ehh)

4/10 - something bugged me about this, so I dropped it (Attack on Titan - I'm like, nope, canibalism is a big no no for me, sorry)

3/10 - something bugged me and probably made me mad, definitely dropped it (the Twilight saga - the romance is GROSS, but at least it's so bad it's funny)

2/19 - I really don't like this and I have strong feelings about it! (Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian the movie - it's personal, they completely ruined one of my favorite books ever, why did they make Caspian and Peter into emo jerks??)

1/10 - oh I HATE this (that one Robinson Crusoe movie adaptation I saw once in class when I was 11, where they turned the MC racist for drama: I am still full of rage because that book was pretty cool, so like, whyyyy)

0/10 - I am in denial of its existence and happier that way. (Last Airbender Live Action Movie. There's no movie in Ba Sing Se.)

Other series I enjoyed:

Fullmetal Alchemist (Manga/Brotherhood): 10/10, very well structured, engaging, funny and 100% satisfying. Never gets old.

My Hero Academia: 10/10, love the world and the characters. Can't wait for the conclusion

The Chronicles of Narnia: 10/10, the first book series that wasn't for school that I ever read by myself. Still my favorite series of all time

Lord of the Rings: 9.5/10, I only love it less than max because it's very long and Narnia is my 10/10 fantasy series. Sorry LOTR, there can only be one favorite, even if I admit that LOTR is factually better quality-wise. I'm subjective, you know?

Danny Phantom: 7/10, it has many problems but the premise is GREAT and it has killer aesthetic. It's kinda unforgettable, even.

Some recenty found series:

Trash of the Count's Family: 10/10, recently found it, fell in love pretty fast. The characters alone are enough for me, but the story is honestly great as well

Solo leveling: 8/10, interesting, fun, simple in enjoyment. Not too long either. My biggest pitpick would be that the story was a bit simple, but it's exactly what it's supposed to be.

Suicide Hunter: 7/10, interesting, very funny at places, still too brutal for me (sooo much suicide and mindbreaking stuff... but I get why people like it).

Omniscient Reader's Viewpoint: 5/10, don't kill me for this, I have reasons! It is interesting, and I like most of the characters, but I'm just not a fan of the main plot. There's just something unappealing for me about the whole "gladiator premise" (where a superior power creates the scenario where random people are forced to kill each other). Same reason why I never liked the Hunger Games (which I'd probably rate 4/10) and I'll never watch Squid Game.

The S Classes That I raised: 6/10, it is interesting, fun and hilarious in many places, but the supporting cast somehow didn't quite click for me just yet. The rating might change in the future, who knows?

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talesofafangirlwithadvr · 3 years

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April 2021 Picks

And we’re back with the end to another month. April! Wow! Lots more great picks to talk about this time. Lots of new ones to the list too. So, let’s dive in!

Spoiler territory ahead!

THE FALCON AND THE WINTER SOLDIER

or should I say Captain America and the Winter Soldier

I just finished the finale last night, so it felt right to start off with The Falcon and the Winter Soldier. I really enjoyed it and I feel the episodes got stronger as the series went on. Each one felt like a mini-movie and I was upset it was over and had to wait another week for another one. I think the finale was my favorite. Especially the reveal of Sam as Captain America. I love his suit, his speech and the montage of everyone watching him. The last part of the episode was definitely my favorite and one I can watch on repeat. I loved seeing happy Bucky and him goofing off with the kids in Louisiana. He deserves so much happiness as he has now accepted he’s no longer who he once was. Bucky and Sam’s relationship is fantastic and I can’t wait to see it more. I know there’s a possibility of a second season and they have to be in a future MCU movie. Regarding the villain, I feel I was confused for most of the show as to what their objective was. I’m curious if this is because they had to reshoot parts during the pandemic. I also am mad with Sharon. Like what happened with her? She is definitely the true villain of the show. I also don’t love that we haven’t seen the end of Walker (but Wyatt Russell did a fantastic job). I also loved Torres and I hope he becomes the next Falcon. Definitely so different vibes from Wandavision, but just as good!

THE IRREGULARS

This is a show that more people need to be talking about! It was SO GOOD! I feel like I heard some buzz about it when it first came out, but not much after. It follows the teens featured about who live on the streets during Victorian London. The leader of their group, Bea gets approached by Dr. John Watson (that’s right...as in Sherlock and Watson) to take on a case that has more supernatural qualities. The story takes off from there. I think the group dynamic was fantastic. There wasn’t a character I didn’t like and each one brought something else important to the group (which they even bring up towards the end of the show). [I’ve watched a few cast interviews since finishing the finale and they seem like they get along really well in real life too.] There is a kind of love triangle, but it didn’t bother me and was over fast. I did like both combinations though. Lots of twists and turns along the journey. I have no idea if there will be another season, but there should be. It didn’t end on a major cliffhanger, but definitely ended in a way where it could continue nicely. Come on Netflix.

HBO’S THE NEVERS

From one show set in Victorian times to the next. The Nevers just premiered on HBO and HBO Max earlier this month. It follows an ensemble of characters, similar to other HBO shows, ranging from characters who are called “the touched” to men in government who are against them. Being “touched” means they have a special talent or power, which can range from healing to speaking other languages, being extremely tall, or being an expectational inventor (I seriously love Penance. I just don’t know how to explain her ability). Amalia True and Penance Adair are two of the main characters and they help bring in others who are touched to a remodeled orphanage that is a safe haven for people like them. Of course there are those who are against them existing. This seems to be at least two groups as someone is abducting and experimenting on some of the touched, but we don’t know who they are...yet. I love the fusion of a historical setting with a fantasy element. I am very excited to see where the show is headed. I also love seeing so many of my favorite British actors on the screen together.

ONCE UPON A TIME IN WONDERLAND

Time for a throw back. Fans of ABC’s Once Upon a Time might remember the short lived spin off following Alice in Wonderland (and some of Aladdin). It only lasted for one season of 13 episodes, but I remember loving it and I am so happy I can rewatch it on Disney Plus. It reminds me of why I enjoyed OUAT so much and I think this show deserved another season or more crossover with the original show. (Luckily the Knave got that opportunity.) I think it should have aired as a summer show or when OUAT was on hiatus, this way more fans would have tuned in. It is something I’ll believe forever.

Anyway, I’ll stop ranting now... I love Alice. I think she’s a badass and a fierce warrior. If you follow some of my posts on my other blog, Lydia-yougowith-Stiles, you’ll know that I love a warrior romance and Cyrus and Alice fit that perfectly (even if they are apart for much of the series). I also love Alice’s hair and outfits. Everything about her is cool. Her relationship with the Knave is one of my favorite friendships ever. I think they balance each other out so well and how they spend most of the journey together. Back in the day, I totally shipped them, but now I definitely don’t. (Even though I don’t love Anastasia.) This is definitely worth the watch if you’ve ever heard of Once Upon a Time or not. There is very cheesy CGI especially for 2013, but once you get pass that you’ll love it.

ZOEY’S EXTRAORDINARY PLAYLIST

It was on a longer break than I expected, and I didn’t miss it as much as I thought I would (which I know doesn’t sound good for a show), but I am still loving all the episodes this season. It feels like there are more musical numbers, which I love. Mandy Moore is killing it with the choreography. There are so many amazing moments. I also was a big fan of the newest glitch episode. Everyone is so talented and I also like that we’ve started to hear from more like Jenna and Tobin. Leif has become one of my favorites. I don’t love the new neighbor next door, but I think we’re done with his storyline. I’m not loving the Zoey love triangle, but I do like her with either Simon or Max. She seems really happy with Simon now. (FYI: I haven’t watched the most recent episode yet. The glitch one was my latest.) Can’t wait for more!

KUNG FU

CW’s newest show this month was Kung Fu, which I just learned was a reboot. It follows Nicky who returns after 3 years to her home in San Francisco. Her family has mixed feelings as she has had no contact with them for the last 3 years. She is now a Kung Fu master and warrior, out to avenge her mentor’s death and stop a villain from acquiring mythical weapons. The show gives me Arrow vibes every time I watch it. It has similar flashbacks each episode to an earlier time in Nicky’s life. While Nicky’s mission is different, the style just gives me early seasons of Arrow vibes, which I am not complaining about. It stars Legacies’ Alyssa Chen, who I didn’t love on Legacies, but instantly fell in love with Nicky. I think she’s a bad ass character and love how she’s fighting for the underdogs on the streets of San Fran, while also taking down a bigger evil. The love triangle is heating up and I’m definitely team Henry (even though there’s some mystery there). I think he’s great and once again we have an awesome warrior romance. They balance each other so well and it’s only been like 3 episodes. Now they’ve also been sleuthing together and it’s just amazing.

NANCY DREW

Are you sick of hearing me talk about CW’s Nancy Drew? I hope not because I’m going to fangirl again. I LOVE THIS SHOW SO MUCH! I can’t wait till Wednesday comes and I tune in a little after it starts, so then I can fast forward on my DVR. Then when the episode is over I basically start it all over again and watch select scenes that were awesome. (More specifically, they tend to be Nancy and Ace scenes because I love them and we’re entering so much angst I don’t know if my heart will be able to handle it!!!)

I’ll say it a thousand times: THIS CAST IS EVERYTHING! Their dynamic is amazing. You can have any match ups and it’ll be a great time. There is not one person I don’t like. I was so upset that there wasn’t a new episode last week (especially because it was my birthday). I loved the last one with the Hardy Boys and that Nace reveal! OMG! I’m so sad that Grant has left again because we barely had him, but I feel he’ll eventually come back. He has to. I loved the ending when he spoke to Thom by signing to him. (My heart!) I seriously can’t say enough great things about this show. It is not your typical CW show and deserves more love and views. So happy a third season has already been confirmed!!

LAST NOTES

Just started Shadow and Bone on Netflix and am loving it! I’m sure I’ll have an entire post dedicated to it when I’m done. (Currently going to start episode 6.) I have no background on the universe or the books (just what my sister is filling me in with as we watch). I definitely plan on reading Six of Crows after this!

So what are you enjoying? Let me know. I’m always looking for more shows to add to the list! Can never have enough.

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calliopecalling · 3 years

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Queen of the South 5x10 FINALE(!) Debrief

Well well well. WELL. Well.

I've spent much of today in a beachy daze. Like are we all living with our beloved QOTS characters inside a fluff fanfic? Or was that the actual end of the series? How did we get here? Are we happy about it?! Last night I felt underwhelmed, though that was I'm 100% sure tinged with just, that normal post-anticipatory letdown. That feeling of "was that it?" that the day after every favorite holiday brings with it. Like how could reality ever actually meet you where you swear you're not hiding your expectations?

As I've begun adjusting today to this New World in which QOTS is over (😭 it's only been my TV obsession since 2018 😭 what do I do now?!) I've settled a bit more deliciously into the hazy glow that the last 5 minutes of the finale brought on. Like wow, that long slow burn really paid off. These two people who've been dancing around each other for five years struggling to reconcile their feelings for each other with the world they're a part of -- finally giving that life the bird and deciding to lean into each other? When do we get TV that actually gives us that so wholeheartedly?! I'm digging it.

I'm also digging the many many opportunities this gives us to imagine new things into earlier scenes and seasons, and validate some of the things we've hoped we were correct in imagining all along. And I love that it's not shying away from romance in order to make some kind of depressing and cynical statement. Like there's this thing that "serious art" (of whatever medium) tries to do that can be all like, romance is "for girls." Like it's silly and unrealistic, demeaning, even. But what I love about Jeresa is that they didn't just have this electric sexual chemistry but they also saw in each other a mirror of their own values and strength; I so appreciate that the showrunners decided, you know what? That matters. That's important that two people crashed into each other's lives and made each other better people. Let's go with that.

So. I dig it.

AND, I don't think this season was well-written. I admit--I'm an academic--I like a well-written, even, consistent TV show, with a lot of attention to character development, and a keen attention to detail. Those things matter to me when I'm watching a show (or a movie, or reading a book, etc.). I'm not trying to be a snob; it's just that I take a real delight--like almost a physical sensation--in things coming together in a really cool way. I like word play and symbolism and subtle humor and body language. A lot of that, actors can pull off regardless of writing (and that's what I LOVED about Alice and Peter; they really do that so well). But a lot of my experience of this season, and this final episode, would've just been more delightful if it had been better written.

I really felt that the first three seasons of QOTS were pretty well-written. Yes, there were some scenes that required suspension of disbelief. (I will always wonder, for example, how the heck did Lil T get from Phoenix to Devon's mom at her church choir rehearsal in what I’m assuming was Chicago in the like, what, 45 minutes max lead time she was given, lol. Or are we supposed to believe his mom just happened to be in Phoenix?) There were some corners cut for the sake of moving the plot forward. But overall, those didn't outweigh the pleasure of watching Teresa's complex journey from the narco girlfriend who'd lost everything except her soul to the narco queen who was gaining everything but starting to lose her soul.

So the first three seasons I could just really buy into. If the first season or two had felt like the last two seasons have--rushed, inconsistent, and with way too many superfluous male characters (sorry/not sorry 😬)--I probably wouldn't have gotten as caught up in it as I did. (AS caught up in it, I said. Alice still carries it for me as Teresa just by herself, regardless of what crap they give her to work with, so I would have guaranteed still been a fan.) I think I liked this season better than Season 4 overall, because of how important James is as a mirror to Teresa's character, and because the tension between them creates a really interesting internal struggle for her. But it also felt even more rushed than Season 4 did and had way less Teresa screentime per episode than Season 4.

Especially this finale. I was discussing it with my coworker this morning (same coworker, unfortunately, who thinks Pote was "so stinkin cute" this season and loved his story line) and even though we will never agree on our favorite Teresa sidekick, we agreed that the finale should've given Teresa so much more. The writers set it up to try to convince us that James had killed Teresa, and decided to let that mystery be the final tension of the series, making us hold our collective breaths until the very end to finally collectively exhale when the 'big reveal' that she'd faked her own death was the big plot twist.

Only it wasn't that unexpected. I know there were people out there who legitimately believed James had killed her. And I definitely couldn't relax in utter confidence because TV SHOW WRITERS, MAN. They love to ruin good things. BUT. It just wasn't that shocking that it was faked. It was the right ending. Killing her would've totally ruined the show and while I couldn't put anything past these writers, most people I know were pretty sure it must've been staged. So what I wish they'd done instead of trying to force us all to believe she was actually dead and that everyone else was just trying to get out, was start the episode with flashbacks to when Teresa started forming her plan, and then let the central tension of the episode (and the final tension of the series) be: will they be able to pull it off?

And if they'd had Teresa be the one to kill Boaz, rather than Pote--or at least have her be the one doing the bulk of the work to track him down and stare him in the eyes one final time--then that "will they pull this off?" tension could've been pretty nail-biting. Then we would've found ourselves wondering OMG IS JAMES GOING TO DIE all episode rather than WHY THE FUCK ARE WE SEEING SO MUCH POTE. Plus, having flashbacks to the planning process start off the episode would have allowed us to actually follow along with Teresa's final transformation, the journey back to herself and coming to terms with what she really wanted.

Instead, we're going to have to fill in those gaps ourselves. You know what though? It's ok. Overall, I enjoyed myself this season. I am happy with this ending (though sorry again but I would've still preferred an ending in which Pote dies just because it's almost TOO happy). I am basking in the fantasizing about all the Teresa and Jeresa things they didn't show us that we now get to fill in--and the fact that we now know where they ended up!! And, I mean. THOSE SMILES. Smiles for days! Suggestive gazes! Sweet kisses! I die.

So it's the end of the series, sure. But I know I at least will still be around for a while, because I am a nutcase who is obsessed with these characters and now just has way more fodder to feed my madness.

#I also wish Teresa had been able to hand off the papers to her legitimate empire to Marcel personally #one more head nod of acknowledgement to him #that she owed him one #before beginning her new life #and now #let the theorizing commence:#what does Teresa ACTUALLY do now #to feed her soul #because we all know it's not just cooking classes #not just walks on the beach #not even just fucking James #though I'm sure that helps 😂#but she doesn't strike me as someone content with a simple happily ever after #maybe she's writing a book eh?#I'm going to miss you Teresa #you've made my life better #also ok I still don’t understand what Devon’s stake was in having her and her people all killed #and why Boaz got to run her business for four years lol #and how he even managed to not totally run it into the ground #questions questions questions #queen of the south #qots #season 5 #5x10 #finale #teresa x james #jeresa #txt post #qots meta #qots reaction post

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lowkeyorloki · 3 years

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It’s interesting that you point out that you avoid anything in the media that’s heavy on romance when (I think) almost everything has a romantic plotline. Even the show Loki is in a somewhat romantic love story with himself. So what do you end up watching typically? Could you give me movies/shows rec that aren’t romance heavy?

Hi anon! I totally can. You're right, most (if not all) media has romance at this point. I just choose to consume things where it's not the focus of the plot.

That's why I mostly just watch cartoons. Adventure Time, Regular Show, and Amphibia come to mind. If you're looking for something that is purely platonic, Amphibia is the way to go (it's about a human girl in a world of frogs, so romance isn't really an option. Haha!). I like Tuca and Bertie a lot, which is adult animation. There is a relationship that's at the forefront, but the show focuses more on what that means as opposed to being all "look at this sexy couple!! they are together and it's hot." Solar Opposites on Hulu is also good.

But for live action, I'm a MASSIVE fan of What We Do in the Shadows (the show). GLOW on Netflix was amazing, and I'm still devastated that it got cancelled. The Mandalorian is one of my favorite things ever, and I'm so hyped for the Book of Boba Fett. Elementary is fun, and in my opinion, the superior Sherlock show.

Movies are easier. Big Hero 6, the new ITs, Alien, The Skeleton Twins, The Outsiders, Lord of the Rings, Mad Max: Fury Road, Sorry to Bother You, and The Meg (no I'm not kidding that's actually one of my favorite movies) all come to mind. Again, most of these aren't strictly platonic. They just don't feature a relationship to make the audience ship them or whatever, they serve a purpose to the plot without being the plot.

I honestly don't really watch much anymore except for cartoons, so I can't give you a ton of variety. But I do read lots of books: most sci fi novels don't have a relationship at all. Female led mysteries and thrillers are often the same way (not ones with male main characters though, that genre often brings about horribly demeaning sex stuff when they're written by men) (that's a generalization of course but still). Try some Megan Abbott books!

If you want more suggestions, let me know and I'll think of more! Until then, let me know what you think of these :D

#ask #anon #rec

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ourimpavidheroine · 3 years

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You've given us your favorite records, so how about your favorite movies?

Okay, sure! Under a cut though, because it’s long.

In no particular order!

Strictly Ballroom (1992)

Oh my god, one of the funniest movies ever made. Every single thing about this movie makes me laugh out loud - in fact, I laughed so loud in the theater when I saw it the first time I’m surprised they didn’t kick my ass out. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve watched and re-watched it. My late wife and I used to quote this film back and forth to each other all the time.

“Arms, Clary!”

“That was unexpected.”

“I’ve got my happy face on today!”

There’s a lovely little romance going on and a quote that I live by:

A life lived in fear is a life half lived.

Thank you, Baz Luhrmann.

Bringing Up Baby (1938)

Screwball comedy romance with Cary Grant and Katharine Hepburn. Still funny, over 80 years later. Mistaken identities, a harrassed archeologist and a clueless rich girl, so on and so forth. If you watch it, you will see shades of Wu and Sayuri in Susan, for sure. (And some Zu in David.) The comedic timing of this movie is sheer and utter perfection. Not a single beat wasted. Brilliant, the entire thing.

Moonstruck (1987)

God, what isn’t there to love about this movie? CHER. A woman coming up on middle age who has settled into widowhood without a whimper decides to marry a man she’s fond of for no other reason than she thinks she should meets the fiance’s younger brother and her entire life goes, as her Italian Catholic mother says in the middle of church, “...down the toilet.” This movie was handled with so much love and care, it deserved its Oscars. If you’ve never seen it, you should.

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (2000)

I saw this movie the one and only time I visited the States after I moved to Finland. I had left my wife here in Finland but had my 20 month old autistic twins along and my mother was being beyond horrible to me and I was exhausted and just wanted to go home. There was one afternoon where my favorite uncle came to me, gave me his car, and told me he was going to watch the kids and for me to go out and have a breather. I decided to see a movie - I can’t remember which one - but the paper had gotten the time wrong and it had already started by the time I got there. I asked the woman selling tickets what she recommended that was coming up and she very fervently told me to go and see this one.

Still one of the best movies I have ever seen. The acting is so subtle, so beautiful, and the scenery! The ending broke me, just shattered me into a million pieces. Years later, when my wife died, I knew exactly that feeling of desperately wanting to go back in time and somehow do it all right and all I can say is, both Michelle Yeoh and Zhang Ziyi get all of my love forever for doing it the way they did.

I bought it when it finally came out on DVD with English subtitles and I made my late wife watch it with me and she sobbed at the end and told me I was cruel for making her watch it. (Guess what, babe? You were crueler for making me live it.)

The Handmaiden (2016)

Normally I am not all that keen on books being made into movies. I fucking loved Sarah Waters’ Fingersmith and wasn’t sure about it being taken out of its Victorian England setting into 1930′s Korea but oh my god I have never been happier to have been proved wrong in my life. THIS FILM. Listen, it is one of those rare times when a book and an adaptation can stand next to each other, equally as good, equally as strong, despite the differences. There is so much to unpack about women’s experiences with sex and how that compares to how men dictate those experiences to them and the movie never drops the ball with this. Frankly, I had seen Oldboy and Snowpiercer (among others) and I really did not think Park Chan-wook had it in him and shame on me for that.

Warning: this movie is HOT.

Mad Max: Fury Road (2015)

This is a damn good movie. Charlize Theron elevates anything she is in, and as Furiosa - dirty, grim, disabled, clinging on to tattered hope with desperation - she just takes this film to another level. Plenty of other good performances - including Tom Hardy, who’s never afraid to drop himself into a role - and some frankly astonishing editing work by Margaret Sixel as well as a male director who understands, deeply, how to film women without subjecting them to the male gaze. This is not a schlock film, despite the franchise it belongs in. It’s good.

I saw this film the night before my wife died; the last time I spoke to her on the phone I told her that I’d take her with me to see it again, I knew she’d like it. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to separate this film from that loss, but that’s how it goes sometimes. Still wish you could have seen it, babe. You would have loved it.

The Great Race (1965)

Is this a great movie? Not critically speaking, although Jack Lemmon is brilliant, as he almost always is. Rather, it was a movie my father and I loved together, and I have so many good memories of watching it with him whenever it would play on TV (these were the years before VHS even, never mind Netflix) and eating popcorn and laughing together.

We loved the huge pie fight scene so much that on my 16th birthday my father bought 3 dozen store bought pies, defrosted them and/or baked them (with the help of our neighbor, who was in on the secret) and he woke me up that morning, told me to get dressed and come outside, and he got me with a pie to the face right as I walked out the door and the two of us chased each other, throwing and dodging pies, making an unholy mess, slipping and sliding all over our deck and driveway, stumbling and laughing hysterically.

It is one of the best memories in my life. How many other girls can say their fathers gave them a pie fight for their sweet sixteen? This movie makes me laugh and, more importantly, remember my father with so much love.

The Fellowship of the Ring (2001)

I did love all three of these films. Were they perfect? No. (I am still salty about Faramir’s entire movie arc and the fact that Merry was just Pippin 2.0 instead of the distinct character he was in the books.) But they were made with so much love and heart by people who loved and cared deeply for the source material. And they were astonishing in scope as well. Just glorious to see in the theater.

I first read those books when my father lent me his copies when I was eight and they were a vital part of my growing up; to see Peter Jackson and his entire cast and crew love them as much as I did was genuinely special for me.

The other two films are just as good with some astonishing moments (Billy Boy’s last minute song in The Return of the King still gives me goosebumps) but this was the first one, and just remembering holding my wife’s hand as we both gasped together over the scope of it was a memory I will keep with me always.

When my wife and I went to see this one here in Finland I was pregnant with my twins and I was like, oh my god, please die already Boromir because were twins on my bladder and I knew if I didn’t get to a toilet soon it was going to be all over. (It was a long movie without a pee break for a pregnant person, let me just say.) I was never happier for a tragic end to a movie in my life, LOL.

The Matrix (1999)

Dude. Dude. Just the concept of this movie. The Wachowski sisters have never limited themselves and that’s what makes them so different and so exciting. One of the greats of Sci Fi and, as far as I am concerned, one of the greats bar none. Yeah sure, I know it isn’t a critical darling but lord, I am not a film critic, just someone who loves movies. And I love this one.

(And excuse you, Elon and the rest of you alt-right men’s groups, you dicks, for appropriating the whole blue/red pill thing: it’s a concept from two trans sisters, so fuck right off with that.)

My best friend, who saw it with me the first time (I took my late wife to see it later in the year when she arrived in the States) laughed at the whole little kid with spoon scene. That’s like listening to you, she said. I never know what is going to come out of your mouth or whether I’ll understand it in the moment but it will eventually make sense to me. Which pretty well sums me up, I think. And this movie as well.

The Piano (1993)

There is a moment, in this gorgeous, deeply beautiful, aching film, where Harvey Keitel fingers a small hole in Holly Hunter’s stocking and it is the most erotic heterosexual thing I have ever seen. Trust a woman director to understand why women would love this. There’s Harvey Keitel’s character: older, soft around the middle, barely literate, covered with traditional facial tattoos. He’s nobody’s idea of hot. But he understands what this woman in particular needs, understands what she is telling him without words, and that’s what he gives her and it is erotic beyond measure. It’s not about what he looks like; it’s about how he understands her.

Holly Hunter does this movie without speaking a single word or getting any subtitles and short of a few brief translations by Anna Paquin playing her young daughter still manages to express herself. It’s brilliant acting. (And look, I know - today we’d look for an actress who was mute to play the role, and rightfully so. It still doesn’t take away from Hunter’s performance.)

Ada drowned in the original script but Jane Campion changed it at the last minute when filming and it was the right choice. The absolute right choice. Ada deserves her freedom and her chance to pursue her own happiness.

#my favorite movies #personal #Anonymous

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battlestar-royco · 4 years

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here is part 2 of my sci fi recs masterlist! again, i could’ve gone on with even more recs but i decided to draw the line here. this set for the most part errs on the darker side, thematically, visually, conceptually etc. i personally find it super thought-provoking and intriguing but that’s just me. i highly recommend reading the tw under the cut if you’re thinking of watching, especially the matrix and space gothic slides. please view at your discretion <3

part 1/2

If you like WLW (um idk why I only made this slide based on identity; it just kinda happened lmao but I think it works):

Siren: (tw: parent loss, grief, thalassophobia) a mermaid surfaces in a cove town looking for her lost sister. Polyamorous relationship between a man, a black/indigenous woman, and the mermaid!!!! Environmentalism! As a person who has thalassophobia, I didn’t find this too hard to watch. There aren’t that many underwater scenes, thankfully.

Black Mirror: San Junipero: (tw: grief, but otherwise none that I recall; it’s pretty lighthearted) two women meet in a beach resort in the 80s and fall in love. Interracial wlw!

Orphan Black: (tw: suicide, infertility, rape implication, VB, language, drug use) a woman realizes she is one of several clones and uncovers an elaborate corporate conspiracy. This is one of my personal favorites with great rep of complex women of all ages and bodily autonomy. Several central queer characters and a black male secondary character!

Starfish: (tw: grief, a few jump scares and brief monstrous imagery, blood) after the death of her best friend, a young woman breaks into the deceased’s apartment and discovers a chain of music tapes that could save the world. Weird, subtle, and experimental. Not to sound like a surfer but you kinda have to allow yourself to be in the vibe. The main character and her friend were definitely a thing imo.

Annihilation: (tw: body horror, VB, disturbing imagery) a team of women scientists explore an anomaly that rapidly mutates genes. There are canonical and coded wlw and multiple (light-skinned) POC in this but the rep is short-lived. I put it on because although it should’ve been more ambitious with the casting, I think it breaks *some* ground for Hollywood sci fi with the all-woman team and more than one WOC. Wack ending though.

Mad Max: Fury Road: (tw: rape implication, violence) I think everyone knows about this one but: in the apocalypse, a woman breaks 4 younger women out of a harem. A badass car chase across the desert ensues. A bit light on plot/worldbuilding, but sooooo cool-looking and very thematic!!!!

If you liked STRANGER THINGS:

It: (tw: VB) don’t actually watch this lmao I’m serious. It’s really stupid, and not in a funny way. But I do think Stranger Things was inspired by this story overall. The modern It films are better but they’re also really kjslsklskls stupid? Stephen King in general is obsolete imo.

The Thing: (tw: VB) an alien that can take the form of others wreaks havoc on a scientific facility in Antarctica. It’s dark and vibey, but I feel like it’s just Alien in Antarctica with truly terrible special effects tbh?? Others feel differently. It’s also classified as sci fi/horror, so stay away if you’re easily scared! Not too good on representation.

Super 8: (tw: some language) a group of preteens witnesses an alien-caused train crash as they’re filming a home movie. Not diverse but I definitely think it inspired a lot of sci fi for the 2010s, ESPECIALLY Stranger Things. Not too scary either!

ET: (tw: it’s been a really long time since I watched so I don’t remember but it’s rated PG) I think everyone knows what this is about!

Alien: (tw: VB) truckers in space discover a deadly evolving alien. One of my favorite movies of all time! I love the aesthetic and the mood and worldbuilding so much. Ellen Ripley is one of the first Final Girls in the horror genre. I personally found this more of a sci fi than a horror movie but I’d say stay away if you’re nervous!!

Terminator: (tw: VB) a deadly android is sent to kill a woman who’s destined to birth the man who saves the world. Terminator 2 is way better imo because it centers on Sarah rather than the dudes saving her and trying to kill her. But it’s still worth a watch, you know, for the culture.

If you liked CONTAGION:

War of the Worlds: (tw: blood) pretty straightforward aliens come to Earth to take over. Sorry to rec another T*m Cruise movie but I really like the alien design and the apocalypsey feel of this one. Baby Dakota Fanning is in it too!

Falling Skies: (tw: VB, body horror, rape) alien invasion yada yada but the alien lore gets more interesting as it goes on. It’s kind of cheesy and yeah maybe I did discover it by looking up the iCarly boyfriend (and what about it??) but it’s nice to have on in the downtime. An Asian woman co-stars.

Knowing: (tw: blood) school students unearth a time capsule that contains a sheet from a girl who predicted all the tragic world events between 1959-2009. This is NOT a good movie but it’s SO hilarious to me because of the acting and contrivances. Fun to group-watch!!!!

10 Cloverfield Lane: (tw: VB, emotional abuse) a woman wakes up in a bunker to a captor who tells her that the world has fallen to alien apocalypse. I think this movie elevates the original Cloverfield in pretty much every way. Again, super tense and moody. The conflict revolves around whether or not the captor is being truthful.

Train to Busan: (tw: extreme VB and disturbing imagery) a man and his daughter are on a train when a zombie hops on at the last minute. It’s Korean with an all-Asian cast; Choi Woo-shik co-stars. I definitely wouldn’t watch if you’re scared of blood and gore. It’s very gross and violent.

12 Monkeys: (tw: ableism, violence) a man from the 2030s is sent back to the 1990s to prevent the plague that will end the world. I think the aesthetics of this are really cool but otherwise it’s not a favorite. But I think it appeals to people who like apocalypse and time travel stuff!

If you liked THE MATRIX:

Strange Days: (tw: rape, sex, nudity, VB, racism, police brutality) memories can be saved to hard-drives and sold on the black market for exorbitant prices. Very problematic and triggering presentation of rape, but young Angela Basset stars and there’s a condemnation of police brutality that’s still relevant 20+ years after its release.

Upgrade: (tw: ableism, VB, fridging) a disabled man installs an AI in his spine to help him move and investigate the murder of his wife. The premise is glaringly ableist and I feel weird even recommending it tbh but it’s got great visuals and a few good twists.

Altered Carbon: (tw: VB, weird interracial body switching, uhhh I haven’t finished this one IDK) in a society where human bodies are interchangeable, a man wakes up in a new body after 300 years of his mind being dormant. A Latina woman co-stars, two Asian characters in a subplot, a few other POC here and there as well. I think season 2 stars a black man.

eXistenZ: (tw: VB, anti-Asian racism, general weirdness? IDK it’s hard to describe. There are guns made out of bones and weirdly sexual visuals.) after someone tries to assassinate her, a video game designer and her bodyguard must play through her virtual reality game in order to save the only copy of the game.

Minority Report: (tw: VB, eye removal/insertion) all crimes are predicted and criminals reported before they are committed. The main character is preemptively accused of murder. This one is really white but it was one of the first movies that got me into sci fi. Early 2000s Colin Farrell <3.

If you liked WESTWORLD:

Humans: (tw: uncanny valley, objectification) androids are household helpers and public assistants throughout Britain until one day they start developing consciences. It hits a lot of the themes of Westworld without all the unnecessary pretentiousness, “edginess,” and “grittiness,” and it stars Gemma Chan and Colin Morgan!!

Blade Runner 2049: (^) an android is ordered to find and kill a human/android hybrid. It’s not without its issues but it’s one of my favorite movies of all time, right up there with Alien. So beautiful, so thematic, so thought-provoking (to me, anyway. I know a lot of people thought it was way too slow).

Ex Machina: (^) a man is invited to a private estate to help test the intelligence of an android. It’s kind of predictable imo but you know Oscar Isaac and Sonoya Mizuno are in it so we have to stan, and so is Domhnall Gleeson, for the SW fans! I like how isolated and quiet it feels.

I Am Mother: (tw: blood, gaslighting) after an extinction event, a young woman is raised by a lone android in a human repopulation facility until one day a woman knocks. It starts off slow and a bit generic, but I’m obsessed with the 2nd and 3rd acts of this movie---good acting, dialogue, and fantastic visuals. It has that same isolated feel as Ex Machina with only three characters, all of which are women/woman-coded!!!

If you liked ALIEN (space gothic):

Battlestar Galactica (2004-2008 reboot): (tw: genocide, war, colonization, VB, uncanny valley, rape, infidelity) space opera that follows humanity as it fights the ever-evolving and powerful enemy of their own creation: androids named Cylons. Um? I L O V E THIS SHOW SO MUCH and I truly do think it’s everything sci fi should be. There is a really unfortunate Miss Saigon-esque romance plot in season 1 and a lazily-written love triangle involving a black woman in season 3, but otherwise it’s one of my all-time favorites and I highly recommend. It’ll spin your mind and tug your heartstrings for years.

Black Mirror: Men Against Fire: (tw: genocide, war, nudity) soldiers in the near future protect citizens from mutant zombies, but one soldier starts experiencing strange hallucinations in the field. This is such an underrated Black Mirror episode starring a black man. There’s brief objectification of a black woman but it’s very anti-military and it has an interesting sterile aesthetic that reminds me of Alien.

High Life: (tw: rape, black holes/space anxiety, very disturbing) prisoners are given the option to join a space expedition and serve as experimental subjects en route to a black hole. Please please stay away if you are triggered by sexual violence of any kind. There’s almost no physical violence in this movie but it’s psychologically haunting imo.

The Faculty: (tw; VB, drug use) high schoolers discover their teachers are being possessed by an invading alien race. I LOVE THIS MOVIE LMFAOOOO. The cast is SO wild---Elijah Wood, John Oliver, Usher, Salma Hayek, Josh Hartnett??? And I’m probably forgetting more. The combination of the cast, the terrible dialogue, and shitty special effects is PEAK comedy imo. But bear in mind it’s bloody!!

Prometheus: (tw: body horror, VB, uncanny valley) a crew of scientists heads on a deep space mission to find the aliens who created the human race. A prequel to Alien, but I kind of view it as its own thing. Despite the plot holes, I love this movie too! It was one of my sci fi gateways and the visuals are stunning. It’s pretty gory though so if that’s not your thing stay away.

Life: (tw: extreme VB) a lesser Alien, but it provides all the space gothic tropes (jokey crew, shots of space, really pretty spaceship, everyone dies, creepy alien) with a well-known cast---Gyllenhaal, Reynolds, etc.

The X Files: (tw: a few episodes contain 90s racism, sexism, queerphobia etc but you can skip them) a lot of people have watched this so I barely have to explain, but it’s one of my favorites. Two FBI agents investigate multiple aliens and get involved in government conspiracies along the way. A good gateway!

A Quiet Place: (tw: child loss, VB, tension) I think most people know what this is about too. Alien apocalypse with aliens that hunt by sound. The daughter in the family is deaf, and so is the actress who portrays her. The representation of deafness was critically acclaimed.

#maxine talks sci fi #movie recs #maxine did you read/watch

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robinsnest2111 · 3 years

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Favorite shows besides MTL? Also favorite movies, books?

Ohhh, at the moment I'm really into Hogan's Heroes!

Avatar: The Last Airbender has been a favourite ever since I saw all 3 seasons on TV as a kid/teen. Cat Scratch is another big favourite from back in the day! (I used to stay up all night to watch TV and sometimes I'd catch episodes of Cat Scratch at 9pm and the re-runs at 5am before school lol)

All time favourite movie: The Road to El Dorado! I still remember the day my mother took me to burger king to get the toys (I had Miguel, Altivo and Tzekel Kan lol). I used to annoy my parents to rent the dvd at the local video rental store on the regular until they got fed up and bought me a dvd of my own :') And I still know all the songs by heart!

I'm also really soft for Nightmare Before Christmas, Corpse Bride and Coraline! And a handful of Ghibli movies (The Cat Returns, Howl's Moving Castle, Kiki's Delivery Service), Shrek, Madagascar, Emperor's New Groove and Mary Poppins used to be on regular dvd player rotation for years as well lol

In terms of movies with real actors, I have a small collection of Spaghetti Western movies (most of them with Lee Van Cleef because Revolver Ocelot is based on him lol) which are really comforting to me because nice memories and nice memes with nice people :') Sabata and Beyond The Law are my favourites!

Mad Max: Fury Road is also very cool, really aesthetic. Love the cinnamon tography 👌

Oh and not to forget: Codename UNCLE and What We Do In The Shadows!

I feel really bad about it, but lately I've not felt up to reading as much as I did a few years ago... So most of my favourite books are from my childhood and teen years lol

Shiloh, the Inkheart series and a few select Goosebumps books are what I devoured in just a few reading sessions in the middle of the night as a kid. The Indiana Jones novels were also subjected to the same treatment lol

A few more "recent" favourites are: The Hobbit, a few select Sherlock Holmes stories, Frankenstein, a gay parody of Sherlock Holmes I got for my 17th birthday (Hemlock Bones: A Stud In Scarlet by Sarah Masters), and a historical gay mystery/romance novel I found at a random grocery store (Think of England by K. J. Charles)

Do fanfics count as books? Because I got two favourites in that category that could very well count as books because of their length and depth and level of emotion and action. First one is: Season of Light and Shadow by eldritchmage on AO3, 160 chapters of Modern AU Barduil goodness which got me through one of my toughest years) And the second one I'm in the process of catching up with and finishing: Men of Honor (109 chapters of Hogan's Heroes fanfic with a Klink x Hogan flavour and some serious historical parts concerning the last few months of life and war in Germany before the surrender to the Allies.)

And I'm extremely fond of two stories a dear friend has written over the past few years:

Blutige Anfänger (literally "Bloody Beginners"), an entertaining and thrilling story about Count Dracula being woken up in modern times and having to face a new very strict and bureaucratic vampire society (typically german lol) alongside a recently turned college student who would rather be back on twitter than deal with all this mess lol (best thing is that parts of the story play in a city that I know well and in areas that I have fond memories of!!!)

And Hyding Adam, a story that started as a Frankenstein/Jekyll+Hyde crossover and turned into something absolutely beautiful ahhh I still get all teary-eyed just thinking about it! (I'm even responsible for one song on the matching Hyding Adam mood playlist!!!)

There's probably loads of movies, series and books I can't think of right now but this will do for now lol

#...i have way too many favourites lmao #if somethig catches my interest it's got it for a loooong long time :')#thank you so much for the ask!#ask robin #inpraiseofbacchus

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laputaindefrenchgirl · 4 years

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reasons why i love Tom Hardy.

All is said in the title.

It’s really funny, because I just found back this screen cap from Tom Hardy iconic myspace era. I did this screen cap in 2015 (yes, I know, wtf do I keep in my files) and already, I was having a tad of a crush on him. But now, it’s 2020 and I’ve been through some growth and just reading this text he wrote today made me fancy him even more.

It’s like I am reading his words for the first time, and understanding them in a brand new light. Definitely, I’m not the same Audrey I was in 2015. I don’t think people do change but my impulsivity n’wisdom did something to me. Anyway, here’s to a pretty long post on WHYs I love Tom Hardy.

First, his talent. As most of his fans, I highly respect his body transformations. He doesn’t do it halfway. It was very striking in Legend, where he plays two twin brothers. It’s him but it’s not. These two roles were very emotionally touching, i mean if you forget my never-ending obsession with gangsters, this was truly one of my favorite movie. Besides the stud apparence he developed, the vulnerability pouring out from Ronnie was heart wrenching. If you haven’t seen this picture, I highly recommend it. I also recommend the soundtrack, full of sixties vibes. Then, I love his crazy. What he does in Peaky Blinders is extraordinary.

What is funny about Tom Hardy is that I’ve seen around 65% of his filmography before developing a crush on him. Like, I really like the directors he worked with, and as I’m a bit obsessed with british everything, well, it’s like I was in the mood before even knowing I am (if that does make sense). From Stuart a Life Backwards, to Lawless, and of course, Inception and The Dark Knight Rises, in the early 2010s I was pretty on point. Funny thing, when I watched Inception in theater I was seventeen, and this movie made me literally speechless, but I was having a crush on J-G Lewitt, and the more I watched this movie as the years went by, I preferred Eames which made me realize how, once again, my growth as a young woman was having a impact on my... tastes?

I remember around that time watching a light action/romance movie called This Means War, and when I first saw him on screen, and I went like “Damn!” and still, the dots didn’t connect in my silly brains.

Then, of course, Mad Max Fury Road came out in 2015 and like thunder, it stroke me. I went INTENSE about the story of this amazing picture (can you hear me scream feminism) and the cast. I mean, Hoult, Kravitz, Theron... This was the dreamboat. Also, it’s all about the context. What I really like here again, is that the previous summer, I watched the Mad Max trilogy with my Dad and as I found it super weird and cool, the themes and plots were very 80s while Fury Road was full of preoccupations we are having right now.

Previously to all of this, I think in 2012 or 2013, I did this Buzzfeed quizz about which Tom actors was a total match for me, and as I was hoping to launch Hiddleston ; I had Hardy and was annoyed. Funny how the internet can be perceptive, sometimes!

Second, his story. I remember being all, “okay so strangely I watched of his movies but who is he really?” and geez, I’m not dumb, I know that we can’t know-know a person, especially a celeb, from only what you learn behind a screen (no offense there) but I was like, I want to read more and see what his motives are. And I wasn’t disappointed. I read interviews, watched interviews. I really loved that he wasn’t just the quite attractive body he is, but that in anything he did, he was genuine. Yet, yet there was more and more to analyze through the way he picked his roles and projects. The fact that he was an addict, hit rock bottom at a moment in his life made sense. I saw an video he did for The Prince’s Trust on youtube, you could see how bad he wanted to give back. I like that the blunt, roughness he exhales was for a reason, and not for play. And I can tell that, even if he ever was or can be some kind of asshole, he’s never sold for the low. Like, he’s the kind of person who would never speak shit about someone else, or be racist or misogynistic, you know?

Third, he’s true. If you read the words from the screen cap I posted, I don’t know. The language he uses is something I can relate to. It’s so hard to open up, to be real and to not expect all at once. “i am often afraid. so I have to share. I want to help, it’s not my business to judge, I made mistakes, I stand corrected, I accept casualties, and walk with hope because I fucking LOVE.” aren’t these the words of a legend? In a world so full of shit and assholes, I just dig people like Tom. This must feels comfortable to be around someone who will tell you what he thinks instead of pretending for whatever motives he might have. Of course, I’m projecting a little here. But it’s cool because I know I do. It’s just kind of freeing to look up to someone who made mistakes but believe and hope and love, but not in pink. Just through his own vision, because he is entitled to. And that makes me feel like that, somehow, I do as well. I’m far from perfect and I love my bad side which makes me even less perfect but eh, just like he said “don’t be boring, that’s the fucking worst!”. Man, I couldn't agree more!

Fourth, he’s kinda pretty. Don’t get me started on the tattoos. I’ll admit, my sexual awakening fitted my crush on him back then. It’s cool. I never had a single crush before being around 22, so to fantasize on men and not little boys was kinda strange at first. It’s like I forgot a step in the manual, but I get around it. I will stop this paragraph here because I know that when I will re-read it tomorrow, I’ll find it embarrassing.

Fifth, I wrote him a letter two years ago. Here’s the funny thing, I don’t expect an answer. Writing him that letter was freeing, and I can’t really tell why. Sending it was like closing chapter full of doubts and hurt I went through in my early twenties. I felt like writing this letter and opening up about experiences and what I went through to a total stranger, and this was one of the best therapy I ever did. For all the reasons I cited above, I felt like he was relatable and so, I went for lashing all my fire into the papers and felt like I could let go of what hurt me all the years before. It’s like I would be heard, not seen, and never judged. This is weird, I am weird. I believe and trust my guts because this is what life gave me best in my entire body. The instinct to know which road I should venture on, no matter what, who and whys.

“I chose the path of spirituality, spirituality seems to me to be for those who’ve been to Hell.” How true is that. I’m very grateful to have humans who inspire me like this, like Tom Hardy.

Thank you reading my nonsense, and if you feel the love, feel the same, just know that you’re not alone. The world can so fucking beautiful when you embrace yourself, ugly tears, powerful truths and lunatic smiles. We’re all bloody together in this whatever!

#audreytheartiste

#reasons why i love tom hardy #I stopped at 5 don't worry #why am i like this #myspace era #screencap #writing positive shit #long post #inspirational people #pretty #it's just a crush #british #true love tho #good vibes #inception #legend #be you

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tokumusume · 4 years

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tokumusume’s list of best and worst movies and dramas watched in 2019:

There’s a new category this year. Inspired by kpopalypse, welcome the Honorable Mentions! Movies that weren’t exactly bad but also weren’t good. Movies and dramas are qualified to enter if I watched them for the first time this year, not that they were released this year. Click on ‘keep reading’~~

Best Movies:

1. Parasite

Another masterpiece from the director of Snowpiercer (let’s pretend Okja never existed). A poor family con their way to a rich household. Choi Woo-Shik from The Witch (see below) is the eldest son and mastermind, fabulous as always. Definitely the best movie of this year. For me, movie of the decade.

2. The Witch Part 1 The Subversion

This movie is amazing, hard to describe without spoilers. A perfect mix of Stranger Things and Hanna. Choi Woo-Shik can come to my house and kick my ass anytime. I can’t wait for part two.

3. Death Trance

Visually stunning, kinda like Amemiya Keita’s style in early Garo or Mad Max. I wish the movie was longer and the characters were better fleshed out, Ryuen the monk and the little girl had so much potential... The most interesting thing about this movie is how sexualized the main male character is compared to the female ones, and apparently, the swords were designed to look like veiny penises (can’t find a source for this info), and yes, they do look like veiny penises. The final showdown is heavy with sexual energy. Have I already said that Ryuen deserved better? #RyuenRights

4. Gintama 2: Rules are made to be broken

The barber shop scene is a fucking cinematic masterpiece. I never laughed so much like I did with this movie. The way it doesn’t take itself seriously, the meta jokes, everything is perfect. Even better than the first one.

5. Kingdom

While I think that some fight scenes were way too long (like the bamboo forest one), the dynamics between Shin and Hyou/Eisei were highly entertaining, at least in my shipper eyes. I like that (SPOILER) the King of the Mountain People is a woman and not once they try to call her Queen. She is a King. Hashimoto Kanna is adorable as a Ten, Kanata Hongo does a great job as Eisei’s psycho brother, Sakaguchi Tak waves his sword around, the usual stuff but with added layers of dirt and sweat.

6. Bravestorm

A movie I lovingly call “Japanese Pacific Rim”. Full of Kamen Rider stars (Hino Eiji! Misuzawa Haruka! That girl from Heisei Generations, the one with a sword! She has a sword in this as well!) and giant robots (god, I love giant robots!), I waited so much for this movie and it exceeded my expectations. I just wish I could’ve watched in theaters, it had a limited showing in my country.

7. Twelve Suicidal Children

What begins as a murder mystery ends with a twist you won’t see coming. All of the actors are amazing, but special mention to Sugisaki Hana and that guy from that one boy group I forgot the name but can’t be bothered to Google.

8. Gakkou Gurashi

Four girls and their teacher try to survive the zombie apocalypse trapped inside the school. This one destroyed me for days.

9. Forest of Love

I’ve watched some Sono Sion movies but nothing prepared me for this. Be aware of extremely gory sequences and sensitive topics. Hinami Kyoko is so amazing as blue-haired, punk girl crush Taeko that I totally didn’t notice she was AkibaBlue in Akibaranger.

10. The Host

After watching Parasite I decided to go on a Bong Joon Ho binge and watched this horror movie. Not as good as Snowpiercer and Parasite in my opinion but heart-wrenching nevertheless. The little girl is the star of the movie.

11. The Hungry Lion

A story about the dangers of social media and slut-shaming. I want to punch Mizuishi Atom in the face.

12. Cromartie High

A little absurd comedy about yakuza-style high school boys (played by middle-aged men lol) forming a club to battle aliens summoned by themselves just because. It made me laugh like a child. A hidden gem.

Honorable Mentions:

1. River’s Edge

Depressing as fuck. Warning: the cats die. It’s not graphic but it’s traumatizing. Yoshizawa Ryo is a gay boy who sleeps with old men for money. There’s a graphic sex scene (not Yoshizawa, sadly) where my only thought was “That thing is gonna get stuck in there! Use a condom!” Can’t remember much from it except for these three scenes.

2. The Disastrous Life of Saiki K

Yamazaki Kento has the acting chops of a dead fish but it comes handy for playing a teen with psychic abilities and zero social skills. Hashimoto Kanna is one of the prettiest girls in Japan. Yoshizawa Ryo with white and blueish hair looks more like Sakata Gintoki than Oguri Shun in the Gintama live action. The end is a huge let down but the fun ride is worth it.

3. Ano ko no, Toriko

Congratulations to Yoshizawa Ryo, he has FIVE movies in my list of favorite movies this year! This is to make up for crowning GIVER as the biggest waste of time of 2018, this list is totally not biased, lol. “Ano ko” could be just another romance movie but the (very) little insight into how the entertainment industry works and not focusing on school life made me love it. Poor Sugino Yosuke being left behind again, when will this boy get the main girl?

4. Monstrum

It doesn’t reinvent the wheel but it’s pleasant enough to fill a rainy afternoon with a lot of blood and spilled guts. Hyeri of Girl’s Day is the heroine and Choi Woo Shik is the commander she falls in love with.

5. Weirdo Go

I confess I watched this one just to see Ji Li (aka my snake son Nie Huaisang) dressed as a woman but it was enjoyable and not that problematic.

6. Real - Kanzen Naru Kubinagaryu no Hi

Directed by the same guy that did “Creepy” and “Before we vanish”, there are lots of twists you won’t see coming. And a dinosaur. A fucking dinosaur.

7. Tomodachi Game: The Final

The movie loses its focus halfway through then picks up again minutes before ending. Yoshizawa Ryo delivers again as the sadistic Yuuichi, much like his role in Gintama. The plot twists are the star of the movie.

8. The Living Dead

Sorry Wen Ning. I saw the plot twist coming in the first 30 minutes of the movie, not very smart of the writer. His personality did a 180° turn for worse and I’ll demote the movie to an honorable mention for it. Gao Han is cute though, I would like to see him as a better character.

9. Backstreet Girls

Some recycled scenes from the drama to situate the viewers, a completely new story for the movie, it is certainly funny and enjoyable, if you can get past the forced gender reassignment surgery background and transphobic jokes (you shouldn’t get past it btw). I like the soundtrack.

Best Dramas:

1. The Untamed

Do I need to say more?

2. The Tale of Nokdu

This Korean romance had everything to be a mess but it wasn’t!!! *claps* I don’t hate the main female character and the whole palace politics actually kept me interested until the end. The complete shift of atmosphere mid-season was strange at first but ultimately very welcomed.

3. The Naked Director

Netflix original Japanese content is amazing. This one is a look at the life of a legendary porn director in the late 80s, I learned a lot about the history of Japanese porn and censorship (yay pixels!) and went looking for his, erm, works. Very graphic, 69/10 don’t recommend watching with people in the house.

4. Channel wa Sonomama!

I don’t remember it well but it’s about a news station and what is like to be a journalist and it was very interesting and funny.

5. SCAMS

Forgettable. Sugino Yosuke with black hair cons old people via phone calls.

Worst Movies and Dramas:

1. The cat in their arms

The cats spend 90% of the movie in human forms, and halfway through it they simply abandon the cats’ plot to show a fucking long montage of a weird guy painting a picture of a nude girl. It’s also super creepy to see a grown-up man acting like a cat, getting belly rubs and eating cat food from a bowl. Yoshizawa needs to choose his roles more wisely.

2. Tonari no Kaibutsu-kun

A waste of Suda Masaki’s talent. Can Japan stop casting Tsuchiya Tao already?

3. Samurai Marathon

Almost two hours of dirty men running through a forest. Maybe Japanese History experts will enjoy it, because I certainly didn’t.

4. Lady Vengeance

While there are legit great moments, I didn’t find this “classic” to be anything special. The animal cruelty was too much for me.

5. Hot Gimmick

This movie makes Bohemian Rhapsody’s editing look like a work of art. There are more flashing cuts than a T-ARA music video. I have no idea who likes who, who’s banging who, what even are they saying. Too much poetic shit for my like. I wanted to see Shimizu Hiroya naked. I was bamboozled.

6. The Divine Fury

While some parts were interesting, at the end I still don’t know if the protagonist is possessed by a demon (if yes, then why would he help a priest destroy his friends?) or if he was blessed by God when his father died and talked to him (the glowing hand thing, why and how??). The exorcism parts are really, really scary, or maybe I’m just a chicken, but I had to avert my eyes. The best (only) part is that the protagonists are hot. Hello Woo Do-Hwan, you can sacrifice me to Satan any time…

#tokumusume awards #2019 #Parasite #Gintama #The Untamed #The Tale of Nokdu #Yoshizawa Ryo #long post #jdrama #kdrama #jmovie #kmovie #cdrama #cmovie

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waltzofthewifi · 4 years

Text

Kota Chapter 6: The Sleepover Scandal, Part 1

Beginning | Previous | ToC | Next

"- so we'll be doing a pop quiz on chemistry," Mendeleev continued, finally making Lacy's mind snap back to present.

She cursed under her breath. Alix swore a little more loudly, Sabrina let out an "eek" and Marinette looked like her eyes would fall out from her head.

Mendeleev turned around and sighed. "If you've been keeping up with my lessons, this should be easy for you. Ms Hatzi, Ms Bourgeois, I have some catch up work for you to do instead."

"Catch up work!" Chloe snapped. "My grade is perfect in this class."

"Because you're not doing it," Ms Mendeleev said. "Mr Agreste, if you'd pass out the tests for me."

Chloe crossed her arms and fumed.

Lacy forced down her nausea - she could use a little help catching up, after all, and Mendeleev may be tough but she did want her students to be successful. It wouldn't be like the last couple times she was called out by a teacher.

Right?

Chloe and Miss Mendeleev walked out together, staying in the hallway where Miss Mendeleev could still keep track of the class, but no one could hear her conversation.

"So are we doing a make-up sleepover some time?" Alix asked. "Since last night got ruined?"

"We should!" Rose said. "And maybe Lila and Alya can come!"

"If we do it tonight I should be free," Alya offered.

Juleka shook her head. "Not tonight. Luka's having friends over."

"Well, we can do it some place else," Marinette suggested. "Maybe we could hang out in the park this afternoon, and then the girls can come stay at my place and the boys somewhere else?"

"I'm close to Marinette's," Kim offered. "You can totally come to my place! I have an awesome gaming station - partially provided by Max, of course."

Nino sighed. "Why must I be stuck babysitting?"

"What about you, Lila?" Rose asked. "Sleepover at Marinette's?"

"Sounds great!" Lila agreed. "I would love to come over!"

Lacy mentally groaned. A sleepover with Lila did not sound like fun. Still, it was a chance to hang out with Alix and Nathaniel. And Lila didn't notice Lacy most of the time anyways.

"Marinette, are you okay?" Adrien asked.

Right. Lacy wasn't the only one who dreaded Lila's presence.

"Oh no," Lila said. "She probably doesn't want me there. It's okay - I don't have to come if you don't want me, Marinette."

"Don't be ridiculous," Alya said. "Everyone's invited."

"That's not your place to say, Alya," Adrien said.

"You're right, Lila," Marinette said coldly. "I don't want you in my house."

"Marinette!" Alya scolded. "This is a class event! You can't leave Lila out."

"If you want Lila to come, we need to have it someplace else," Marinette said. "I'm not letting her in my house."

"But there's no where else we can go!" Alya argued.

Lacy felt herself scowl. "You shouldn't force her to let someone in her space she doesn't want!"

"Yeah!" Alix agreed. "I mean, I have a room I don't let anyone into - even my old man! If Marinette doesn't feel comfortable letting Lila in her room yet, that's her decision."

"But we can't leave Lila out!" Rose argued. "Marinette, aren't you the one always talking about including everyone!"

"It's her own personal space," Lacy argued. "That's different. It's not like she's telling Lila she can't hang out with us at the park."

"Lacy's right, Marinette," Adrien added.

Marinette sighed and slumped her shoulders. "No, Rose is right. I can't preach inclusion and then leave Lila out."

"How about this? Lila can come over, but we all stay in the living room," Alix suggested. "That way, we're all included but no one is invading your space."

"That's a good idea," Marinette agreed.

Lacy frowned, not happy with the idea, but Marinette seemed defeated. Lacy sighed and decided to let it go.

Chloe came back into the classroom, frustrated, followed by Ms Mendeleev.

"Ms Hatzi?"

Lacy followed her teacher out of the classroom.

Ms Mendeleev handed her a tablet with headphones. "Our school has agreed to participate in an experimental program aiming to help students with reading difficulties like dyslexia. This tablet has audio recordings of some of the readings I gave."

"Oh thank the gods," Lacy blurted. Sure, she had some focus problems when it came to audiobooks and similar recordings, but anything beat reading.

"Don't thank them, thank me," Ms. Mendeleev grunted.

"Thank you, Ms Mendeleev," Lacy said. "This will help me a ton!"

"I do believe you to be a good student, Lacy," Ms Mendeleev said. "But you can't learn the same way as the other students. Learning is a process a lot like science, and sometimes it takes some trial and error. Don't be afraid to experiment a little more. Now get back in there, I still have a test to give."

Alix and Lacy were the last ones in from the park, so they were forced to sit on the ground for the movie.

Marinette offered to wait for them to change into pajamas, but Lacy felt perfectly comfortable in her day clothes. It was part of the Aphrodite magic - in the same way that Piper and Drew can charmspeak, and Mitchell naturally repels stains, Lacy's clothes always adjusted for a perfect, and comfortable, fit. It was a nice power, if a bit useless. Likewise, Alix never wore clothes that weren't comfortable for her, so she didn't feel the need to change.

Besides, Alya was starting to get impatient.

"What should we watch?" Marinette asked when they all settled in the living room. Juleka and Rose was sharing one seat, Alya and Lila in the other, and Marinette, Mylene, and her other friend Kagami had taken the couch. Lacy and Alix were squished at the base of the couch, sharing two fuzzy blankets.

"Disney!" Rose requested.

"Ooh, yes!" Lacy agreed.

Alix sighed. "Oh come on. Let's do something with a little more action in it."

"There's Disney movies with action," Alya said. "Mulan, Tangled, Frozen-"

"Not Frozen," Lacy interrupted.

"But Frozen's my favorite," Rose whined.

"What about Brave?" Alix suggested.

"What's the point of Disney with no romance?" Lacy found herself asking. The words sounded like something one of her sisters said - but wasn't there some truth, even if she liked the movie Brave?

Rose nodded. "I love Tangled! Let's watch that!"

"Lila, any requests?" Alya asked.

"Tangled's fine," Lila said. "I actually know someone who-"

Alix sighed, just loud enough for Lacy to hear.

"- so they all said he saved the movie," Lila continued.

"Can we start the movie already?" Marinette asked.

"Marinette!" Alya admonished.

"I agree with Marinette," Kagami said. "If we're going to watch a movie, we should watch the movie."

"Couldn't put it better myself," Alix agreed. "Movie it is!"

About halfway through the movie, Lila excused herself to go to the bathroom. Something sounded off in her voice, so even though Lacy didn't want to miss the movie, she followed her.

Lila bypassed the bathroom completely and started up the stairs to Marinette's room. Lacy felt a surge of panic - she knew something was off, but what to do about it? Call Lila out now and risk getting on her bad side? Go warn Marinette and risk being too late?

Or maybe I can just feign innocence, Lacy thinks. If she thinks I found her by accident she can't get mad at me, right?

"Lila?" Lacy called. "The bathroom's this way."

Lila froze, her shoulders tensing for a moment before she relaxed and turned to Lacy. "Oh, thank you. I have such a poor sense of direction." Lila walked down a few steps before pausing. "Were you looking for something?"

"I was grabbing a drink when I heard someone on the stairs," Lacy lied. "Since this was your first time here, I figured you must be lost."

"You're such a nice friend," Lila said, taking a step towards Lacy. "Especially for someone who didn't want me to attend this sleepover."

"What?" Lacy asked, scrambling to remember what she meant. "You mean what I said during science class? That wasn't about you! It's just, you see, my dad's a therapist and he always advocates for personal space, and I guess when Alya started p- encouraging Marinette to invite you, I kinda blurted that out. I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings!"

Please please don't be mad at me.

Lila smiled. "Of course. I knew you were too nice to exclude someone like that. I just- you know, I used to think the same about Marinette, but she's been so mean to me lately-"

"Lacy it's your song!" Alix called, interrupting Lila's monologue.

"Coming," Lacy called, jogging back to the living room.

"My shirt's ripped," Lacy said, pulling the pajama shirt out of her bag.

Alix looked over at the shirt. "That's a nasty rip. How'd you manage that?"

"I don't know," Lacy replied. "It was fine when I got out of the dryer the other day-" Lacy sighed. "I'll go ask Marinette if I can borrow one of hers."

"I'm sure you can," Alix said. "Hey, maybe she'll even fix it for you!"

Lacy smiled. "That would be nice. It's such a soft shirt I'd hate for it to be ripped." She stood up, leaving the corner where all the sleepover bags had been thrown and walking back to the main living room with the rest of the girls.

"Hey Marinette," Lacy said. "Can I borrow a shirt for tonight by any chance?"

"Sure." Marinette untangled herself from where she and Alya were watching a video. "Come up with me."

Lacy followed Marinette up to her room, and watched as she dug around for a shirt. Her shoulders were hunched, and her movements were sharp. Lacy couldn't help but feel worried.

"Are you okay?" Lacy asked.

"Mhm." Marinette straightened up. "Will this work?"

"That'll be just fine," Lacy said. "Thanks!"

"Lacy?"

Lacy and Marinette both froze, recognizing the voice easily.

Lila poked her head up.

"Yes?" Marinette asked with a scowl.

Lila feigned a worrier expression. "I just wanted to make sure Lacy found something. After all, I brought an extra shirt with me."

"Thanks," Lacy said. "But Marinette already found me something."

"Good," Lila said, finishing her walk up to Marinette's room.

"What are you doing up here?" Marinette demanded.

Lila frowned. "I just said-"

"Lila." Marinette's voice dropped down. "Get out of my room."

Lila's eyes widened. "But I was just-"

"Now!" The word came out as a shout, echoing around the room.

"Girls?" Alya called from downstairs. "Everything alright up there?"

"I don't know," Lila said, faking distress in her voice. "I was just checking on them when Marinette started yelling-"

Alya appeared next to Lila, concern written over her face. She putting her arm around Lila and gave Marinette a pointed look. "I'm sure Marinette didn't mean to yell, right girl?"

"Maybe I did," Marinette snapped.

"Marinette!" Alya replied, taken aback by the comment.

"I want her out of my room," Marinette demanded.

"I wasn't doing anything!" Lila replied, beginning to sniffle. "I would never-" she leaned against Alya's shoulder, acting like she was crying.

"What's going on?" Rose asked from down the stairs.

"Marinette's yelling at Lila for no reason," Alya said.

"What?" Marinette demanded, stomping her foot. "I told her I didn't - she's intruding on my space-"

"You can't just exclude her-"

Both girls were steaming from the argument, and Lacy took a deep breath and tried to intervene.

"Alya," Lacy interjected. "Maybe you should listen to-"

"Stay out of this," Alya snapped.

Lacy felt herself take a step back, completely caught off guard.

"Don't snap at her," Marinette said.

"Can we move closer into your room?" Rose asked. "We shouldn't be arguing like this near the stairs - what if someone gets hurt?"

"Lila's not taking another step into my room," Marinette snapped.

"Don't snap at her," Juleka said. "She's just trying to help."

"Help who?" Marinette demanded. "This is my room and-"

Lacy shrank into herself as the voices around her rose in volume. Rose broke into tears, and Marinette was getting closer to Alya with every word she said, but Lacy stopped being able to make out words among the shouting.

It felt like the room was closing in on her, and the air was getting heavier, and hotter, and she wasn't getting enough air, and

"Lacy?"

Lacy blinked, noticing that at some point she had moved up to the balcony. The cold air brushed against her skin, giving her something sharp to focus on.

"In... hold... out..."

Lacy took a deep breath, following the instructions. She could feel Alix next to her, her voice smooth as she brought her through the breathing exercises. Marinette sat across from them on a lounge chair, worry etched in her face.

Lacy exhaled. "What happened?"

Marinette made a face. "Lila happened."

"Everyone got in a big argument," Alix explained. "And you started disassociating."

"The other girls all left in a huff," Marinette added. "Something about me being unreasonable."

"I'm sorry," Lacy said.

Marinette shook her head. "I should have known better than thinking tonight would turn out any better."

The trapdoor to the balcony opened, and Marinette's mom walked in, followed by Elisabeth.

"Lacy? You feeling any better?" Elisabeth asked, sitting on the other of Lacy. She rubbed her shoulder empathetically.

"A little," Lacy replied, leaning into her stepmom's chest.

"Come on, let's go home."

Since she already had a sleepover bag packed, Alix decided to stay the night at Lacy's.

They arrived just as two of her dad's coworkers were leaving, so they helped clean up dinner and put on another movie - this time one of Alix's favorite movies - on Lacy's laptop and cuddled up on her bed. They were about half way through the movie when the doorbell rang.

"I got it," Elisabeth called from down stairs.

A few minutes later, someone knocked on the door and Nathaniel peaked his head in.

"Hey," Alix said. "What are you doing here?"

"Our sleepover ended early," Nathaniel said. "Mylene called Ivan in tears and he went to pick her up, and then Markov started having software problems-"

"Kim's fault?" Alix asked.

"Basically," Nathaniel said. "It was his dare that started it."

"It's always him and his dares," Alix said.

"Anyways, I thought I find you two." Nathaniel peaked at the screen. "Of course you're watching that movie again."

"Its a good movie?" Alix defended.

"Want to watch it with us?" Lacy offered, scooting a little closer to Alix and patting to the bed next to her.

"I think I could recite it for you at this point."

Nathaniel still hopped up onto the bed, leaning in just enough to see the screen.

#kota #fanfiction #my writing #miraculous ladybug #miraculous ladybug fanfiction #Percy jackson #Percy Jackson and the Olympians #Percy Jackson fanfiction

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bombshellsandbluebells · 4 years

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1, 2, 3 and 5 for the female characters top fives?

Thank you!! Okay, listed in no particular order and with short rant included because I couldn’t help myself. So this is long, prepare yourself!

1 - Protagonists

Elizabeth Swann (Pirates of the Caribbean) -

I love her so much. She’s so stubborn and won’t put up with anyone’s shit and is ruthless and is more of a pirate than Jack Sparrow. I love that she longed for the sea and learned about pirates in secret as a kid and then got her own ship and crew and became Pirate King!! And that her story was always about freedom and she got it in the end. I love that Elizabeth doesn’t wait around for Will to save her, but goes out and saves herself and makes her own destiny.

Tohru Honda (Fruits Basket) -

Tohru’s proof that kind/compassionate characters are not boring or less complex. Tohru feels so real; the way she ignores her trauma and grief and hides her issues to try to always appear perfectly selfless and happy is so human and relatable and her journey is really, really interesting. She’s so kind but still has so much room to grow and I honestly see a lot of myself in her.

Emori (The 100) -

I mean most of you already know how much I love Emori, but I LOVE EMORI. She’s such a fun, interesting, unique character with a really interesting backstory and unique challenges to face. I love how smart and manipulative and conniving she is. I love how she doesn’t know how to trust people and has to slowly learn how to be part of a group. I love how insanely loyal she is once she’s found that group. I love that being one part of a romance story didn’t fix all her issues, but finding community and acceptance helped her grow even further. I love that she still loves herself despite what society says about her. I love her look even if the shape and size of her tattoo keeps magically changing.

Annie Edison (Community) -

I love how Annie is ruthless, and I love how that contrasts with the sweet/innocent/naive stereotype she appears to be at first. The more you see of her the more you realize that Annie Edison will steamroller over literally anyone in her path to get what she wants, Jeff included. The hints we get about her backstory and family life are also really intersting, even if the show never really goes into it - probably because it wouldn’t really stay comedic.

Lucretia (The Adventure Zone: Balance) -

It is my mission to get more people to give TAZ a try. It has so many great characters and Lucretia is one of the best. She’s so complicated. Your outlook on her constantly changes. She goes from being a mentor archetype to possibly the antagonist to a tragic hero. She did something terrible to the main characters for good reason and you see the awful affects of it but it’s also made clear why she did it and just how awful she feels about it. She’s such a tragic character and every time I relisten my heart breaks for her more and I just love her.

Also she has some amazing lines like “Hot diggity dog, that is a baller cookie” so how could you not love her.

2 - Villains

A.L.I.E. (The 100) -

She’s probably my favorite villain ever. Every season I want them to bring her back. I’m still bummed s5 didn’t take the PERFECT opportunity they were given. She would be my one weakness to start watching the show again.

Azula (ATLA) -

Azula’s far more threatening than Ozai ever is, and she’s so flawed in such interesting ways. One of my favorite moments of her is the scene where she says, “Are the tides the captain of this ship?” because at first it seems like such a badass, in-control moment, but it honestly reveals just how much Azula’s pride and arrogance hinder her. That’s such a foolish, reckless thing to think, that what you want is above the forces of nature, but Azula is foolish, prideful, and arrogant, even if she is incredibly talented and smart. I think it’s also really interesting how they parallel her decline with Zuko overcoming his trauma, because for most of the series it seemed that Azula only benefited from their upbringing, and then you realize she’s just as messed up from it, just in different ways.

Bellatrix LeStrange (Harry Potter) -

I don’t have a rant for her, she’s really not that complex, she’s just such a fun, terrifying villain and Helena Bohamn Carter plays her to perfection.

Dolores Umbridge (Harry Potter) -

I mean I don’t like her at ALL but we all collectively DESPISED her and that’s just proof of what a great villain she is. When she showed up again in Deathly Hollows I remember just feeling rage as I read it. I was like, her??? AGAIN???

Last one below the cut because major spoilers for Fruits Basket!!!

3 - Superheroes

Nebula (MCU) -

I really love her journey in the MCU from villain to hero. The best parts of Endgame were getting to see her find a group of her own that supported her and learn to have fun and smile.

Natasha Romanoff (MCU) -

I don’t always love how the MCU handled her, but I do like the character the MCU ultimately created, if that makes sense. She’s snarky and kind of dorky and it’s such a contrast from the shallow femme fatale cliche she started as and is usually portrayed as. I love that we get to see some of her weaknesses and fears over the series. I think they screwed up with her narrative a LOT, but I still enjoy the character they ultimately created.

Pepper Potts (MCU) -

Badass business lady turned occasional badass superhero when her husband’s in trouble. I really love her visceral fear of the superhero business and her hatred of it for most of the movies. It makes sense and makes her human that she doesn’t just go along with it.

Raven (Teen Titans) -

Raven was one of my favorite characters as a kid. Apparently I like characters who are isolated but crave community and slowly learn to love others and let that love and acceptance in, because that’s part of what I love about her.

Carol Danvers (616) -

I don’t like Carol in the MCU because of writing/directing reasons, but I love Carol in the comics. I love her “fuck you” attitude that is so at odds with most superheroes and her stubborness and her tendency to punch first, talk later, even when it gets her into trouble. I love that she named her cat after Star Wars and makes really corny jokes.

5 - Queens/Empresses/Royalty

Apparently I don’t watch a lot of shows with queens/royalty, so I’m going to do a grab bag of five other great female characters that come to mind.

Aqua (Kingdom Hearts) -

KH isn’t great at handling it’s female characters, but she’s the one exception. She’s a keyblade master who tried to keep her friends safe and stop the main villain, and she failed! She sacrificed herself trying to save one of her friends, letting herself get trapped in the Realm of Darkness, and the tragic part is that she didn’t even save him. So then she wanders the RoD for 10+ years, alone, being haunted by her fears and doubts and regrets, slowly losing herself. She eventually gets saved and gets a happy ending, but the part of the series exploring her endless wandering is so interesting. She’s a protagonist of a series aimed for kids, but she fails, and she has flaws and doubts and she has parts of herself she doesn’t want to face, and she’s just cool.

Echo (The 100) -

Because I didn’t list her in protagonists. I really fell in love with Echo in s4 when we saw her internal struggle between what was right/just and what was required to protect her clan. She was a great antagonist because we still saw so much of her humanity and now she’s a great protagonist with flaws and desires and self-doubt. And she’s a badass.

Riza Hawkeye (Fullmetal Alchemist) -

Another really interesting, flawed, complex lady. Riza is a soldier who fought in war and her actions during it still haunt her and drive her to push for a better world and country, even if she fully expects and accepts that a better world will punish her for her actions. She’s so interesting.

Judy & Jen (Dead to Me) -

They’re by no means favorite characters of all time, but I do really love both of these characters. They’re just well written and interesting and the conflict between them is really interesting and I just want to include them for being cool female characters.

Furiosa (Mad Max: Fury Road) -

What an awesome character. Her design is cool. Her actress is amazing. Her risking her life to get the wives to safety is fantastic. The way the movie slowly humanizes her more and chips away at her harsh exterior to show the emotions underneath is so good. She’s got a disability and fights around it. She’s great.

Villains (Cont.) below the cut ; spoilers for Fruits Basket

Akito (Fruits Basket) -

I put this under the cut because people are just starting to get into Fruits Basket for the first time and the fact that Akito is even a woman is a major spoiler, because she was raised as male her entire life because she was head of the family. Akito is so unlikeable at first and so awful and manipulative. She takes joy in hurting other people. She has a hand in most of the other characters’ trauma. And then you start learning more and more about her and realize she’s a traumatized, lonely, hurt person and is lashing out. It doesn’t forgive what she’s done, but it humanizes her. She’s a great parallel of Tohru in that they went through very similar trauma and experiences but Tohru had a loving mother who taught her the importance of love and kindness and Akito’s mother was awful and abusive and she learned that the only thing that mattered was power and control. She’s a really interesting character and I honestly still don’t know to feel about her most of the time.

#ask game #thanks!#:)

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incomprehensiblelentils · 4 years

Text

I did not get around to this yesterday but, a short selection of fictional things that meant a lot to me over the last decade! ...it is going under a cut bc it is Too Long sorry lmao.

Books

Little Fires Everywhere by Celeste Ng: this book came out in September 2017 and I have read it four times already. It’s the kind of book I want to write but I’m not sure I’m clever enough to: every event and every character is so purposeful and you won’t catch everything the first time through. Every time I reread it I find something new to marvel at. I hope the Hulu series is half as good

Everything I Never Told You by Celeste Ng: this was the first piece of fiction I ever found with a family with a Chinese father and a white mother. This family is a lot less functional than my family, but I've read this three times because that means the world to me.

Ash by Malinda Lo: I discovered this in 2011 and it was the first f/f novel I ever read, and as I would later learn, one of a handful with a happy ending at the time, particularly in YA fiction. For a long time, I reread it every time I felt hopeless. I just reread it again last month and it is still as beautiful and meaningful to me as in 2011.

Girls of Paper and Fire by Natasha Ngan: This is an Asian-inspired fantasy (becoming more common now, but still irritatingly rare) written by a queer Asian woman, with f/f. I think it is only the second one of these, after Ash? It is frustratingly rare, anyway. The worldbuilding is incredible also.

The Astonishing Color of After by Emily X.R. Pan: We are getting more stories about biracial Asians, but they are still pretty rare and I treasure every one. This one felt so real to me.

The Miseducation of Cameron Post by Emily M. Danforth: The first half of this book captures so beautifully what it’s like growing up queer in a religious environment when you don’t even have the words or self-awareness to know what you’re feeling. This was another one I read over and over again when I was feeling low.

The Scorpio Races by Maggie Stiefvater: this is just a book for horse girls. I don’t know how else to describe this lol. I also feel like the romance is super downplayed until the very end, and honestly barely feels like a romance to me, so that’s refreshing!

Movies:

Pacific Rim (2013): I remember having this weird feeling when asked to give my top 3 movies once in high school, like maybe my favorite movie hadn’t come out yet so I couldn’t answer properly. I was right; this is the movie I was waiting for. This is my favorite movie. The feelings this movie gives me is the standard I hold all movies to.

Terminator: Dark Fate (2019): but Megan, didn’t this just come out? Yes, and it’s my other favorite movie now. I love (almost) every second of this movie. This movie made me feel a way that I thought maybe I might never feel again, after a certain other franchise movie this year took a dump on my heart. I don’t care that we’re never getting a sequel, we got this and that’s enough for me.

Thor (2011): Those of you who have been around awhile know that I really love this movie. I loved it before we all jumped on the Thor train after Ragnarok and I will continue to love it probably my whole life. It just makes me happy.

Aquaman (2018): This is Thor but underwater and with a biracial hero. It made me cry in the theater and I do not want to hear any negative opinions about it, I find them personally wounding.

Belle (2013): The fact that Gugu Mbatha-Raw isn’t a superstar is tragic, and this movie is gorgeous and lovely and made me feel a lot of things as a biracial person.

Mad Max Fury Road (2015): I remember seeing the trailer for this in the theater and going “yikes that looks like a thing I would never watch.” Joke’s on you, past me!!!! I find this a deeply stressful but glorious film that I can only watch like, once or twice a year.

Scott Pilgrim vs. the World (2010): I do not need or want to hear about how this movie is Problematic, I know all of its issues, and yet. It brings me joy and it was one of the first movies I saw when I was just starting to break out of my religious upbringing and I laugh until I cry every time I watch it.

Star Wars: The Force Awakens (2015): I am starting to realize that I am not and never really was a Star Wars Fan, which is to say that like...I love this movie specifically, I love the characters, I love the interactions, I love the stuff that happens. I do not so much love Star Wars as a whole? I like it fine! But this movie is the only part of the franchise to really make me go “oh, I get it.”

Professor Marston and the Wonder Women (2017): This was a weird little movie that nobody saw and nobody talked about, but I adore it because it’s so gentle and romantic. I don’t know how accurate it is to history and frankly I do not really care.

Big Hero 6 (2014): are you tired of me mentioning I’m biracial yet? This movie has biracial protagonists and a cute squishy robot and no romance and superhero stuff and I love it so much.

F8: The Fate of the Furious (2017): I went to go see this on a whim with my wife and it was one of the most joyous theater experiences of my life. I don’t know, I just love everything about it.

TV shows:

Community: This only kind of counts because it started in 2009 but I started it mid-s2 so eh. Seasons 1-3 of this show are written on my heart, I can quote a ridiculous amount of dialogue from them and these characters will stay with me forever. Warts and all, this is my show.

Dollhouse: Another technicality but like, I met my wife because we both loved Bennett Halverson so I gotta put this on here. It’s pretty significantly affected my life! Also I find that it holds up fairly well, if you’re down for the admittedly iffy premise and an ending that’s a bit of a mess narratively due to sudden cancellation.

Agents of SHIELD: I would never claim that this show is “good” but I do think that it has mostly figured out what the hell it’s doing. And it has been a pretty significant part of my fandom life for the last 6 years, so to leave it off this list would feel wrong. It gave me Daisy Johnson, first canon biracial superhero as played by a biracial actor, and for that i will always be grateful.

Warehouse 13: I could not tell you why I fell so deeply in love with this dumb, badly written show that shit the bed in the final episode more spectacularly than I could have imagined, and yet I did! I think probably it is because I love found family so much, and also I find goofy camp charming more often than not. And of course, there is Bering and Wells, the femslash ship that fandom forgot. I will never be over how no one knows what we have suffered!!!!!

Runaways: wow was this a surprise! The Runaways comic is my favorite comic besides Marjorie Liu’s X-23 run, and this show has basically nothing to do with it, and normally that would piss me off but they got my kids’ personalities down so well and all of the actors are so perfect that I really can’t complain. And also, this show has canon f/f and neither of them die at the end! Which is...better than some other shows I could mention!

Doctor Who series 1 and 5: I had a very intense Doctor Who phase in college, and after all was said and done and I quit the show for a time, I realized that although I love a lot of the characters, and Thirteen’s run is pretty good so far, what I really loved was Nine’s run and Eleven’s first season. That is the show at its best to me. Eccleston is my Doctor and Amy is my favorite companion.

Legends of Tomorrow: Look, I am as shocked as anyone that this, the scrappy underdog of the DCTV lineup, is the one that’s most emotionally competent and has the best character arcs! But here we are. Season 4 was some of my favorite TV I’ve seen, uh, ever.

Albums

Dirty Computer by Janelle Monae: I listened to this for basically a year straight after it came out. It’s just ridiculously good.

Something Fierce by Marian Call: This was my on-repeat album in college. i drew a lot of strength from it, and I think that it’s still the best album to recommend to people who ask me about her.

Standing Stones by Marian Call: I heard most of these songs live at concerts before they were quite done yet, so it was really special to get to hear them all collected together like this. I’m going to get a tattoo with a lyric from one of these songs because no one’s quite been able to put my basic philosophy into words quite like Marian.

Heartthrob by Tegan and Sara: Hot Take, I know, because a lot of people hate this album, but it was so affirming to go out and buy A Lesbian Album from A Lesbian Band in 2013.

The Rent movie soundtrack: I know, I KNOW, but in my defense, my parents got me this for my birthday my first year of college and I needed it so desperately. I can definitely still do “La Vie Boheme” from the beginning and probably most of the other songs too.

In the Heights OBCR: I can only listen to this when I want to cry, but it’s my favorite musical. I got to see the show in 2018 and it was incredible. I think it’s better than Hamilton and I can’t wait for the movie to come out.

Trouble by Natalia Kills: this album is really great and also it says fuck a lot, which I used to be very nervous about hearing or saying, and this helped immensely!

#me

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