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#and jessa would never let that happen to him
sandersgrey · 1 year
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One of the fucking... saddest things about Kit is that, after his dad dies, he's fully contextless
Like. Everyone who knew him is either dead or turned his back on him. He is now one of the people he's been taught to hate, and they're busy with their own shit, too, so it's not like anyone besides maybe the twins has time to help him w that!
He doesnt know any of those bitches!!
Imagine losing everything you ever had. Your family, your friends, your house, your belongings, your very sense of self....
Is it any wonder Kit clung to Ty so tightly it broke him?
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alex-iltempo · 1 year
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Chot spoilers we all knew were coming
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Yes, I haven't read chot yet and yes, I hoped this wouldn't happen, but yes, spoilers confirmed that this happened...
So, I'm already disappointed...
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Let's start from the beginning.
I'm gonna be honest, I never liked Matthew from his very first appearance in Tales of the shadow market. Yes, his story is tragic and pity, but the way he choose to deal with it made him absolutely unlikable for me. Love and loyalty for James was his only redeemable quality (for me).
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And I could totally deal with the fact that he fell in love with Cordelia (after years of unrequited love for Lucie), but I was hoping we won't go that road...of full on love triangle (especially, when it's obvious for everybody that Jordelia is the Endgame, so you don't split between two guys like in Wessa/Jessa case, instead Matt just becomes annoying obstacle), I hoped he will keep himself in hand, that he won't take the moves... That would make him noble and the relationship of him and Jamie, James and Daisy, Matt and Cordelia would stay pure...
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But looks like only HeronGrayStairs can be such high standard of self-sacrifice, purity of feelings and undivided understanding...
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looks like Cassie choose to make Matt blind to James' feelings for Daisy, I mean, yeah, he thinks Jamie obsessed with Grace, but if he himself wasn't obsessed with his own tragedy (swimming in it, drowning in it, made everything in his life spinning around it) and looked closely around he could see his (Jamie's) true feelings (Magnus saw it), and thought a little and didn't forget how Grace manipulated him (Matt) to kiss her against his will and realised she does it somehow with James too... but he ignored it
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And, also the whole situation : in 1903 you took married woman to Paris, your best friend's wife... This already looks bad. And you know she loves him, her husband, your best friend... wtf? This could be handled more original, I thought.
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But, according to spoilers, No...
So, it makes me not liking Matthew even more... Thank you very much, Cassie
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Maybe Cass decided that it's James' turn to fight for Daisy's love... Only, she actually didn't do anything to fight for his love with Grace, she just was herself (and poor James couldn't afford to himself even that) and she's lucky that he for all those years kept his feelings for her underneath that ₽hu¢k¡n' bracelet's spell, and accidentally, due to circumstances, married him. And, after everything he went through by his willpower and love for her, HE got to proof himself? I know it's romanticized that a man should chase and conquer, to provide and proof himself... But that's double standards bullshit against the backdrop of author tries to adhere in her works to the modern canons of equality and other trendy agendas, in opposition to "the moral and ethical prejudices of those times" and all that jazz... But maybe I'm digging too deep... sorry not sorry... I'm just pissed off... beforehand...
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And knowing about certain death, which I'm trying to deny for now... I remember Cassie said that on early stages she wanted to end this trilogy even more dark and tragic... Seriously? How dare you, ma'am!!!
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@alisual_art, @kategdraws, @shybrezo, @ella_j.osse, @kamillenteeart, @artzxofkae, @lasq.draws, @cassiejp, @arudrawing, @lariablog, @nairafeather, @shafowhunterstiffs, @ro.drawings, @camisala01_art, @cccrystalclear
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princessw0lf · 7 months
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Happy STS spooky edition! What would your OCs give out to trick or treaters? Who turns the porch light off? Gives raisins? Or hides to give the kids a jumpscare?
Hi, thanks for the question~!
Ooh, I love spooky time! Let's see . . .
Almyra has all the good stuff. She's a Princess after all, so this is rich person candy. Full size bars for everyone. She probably dresses up and hands it out herself, but her costume is never very scary.
Releine, having grown up poor for about 2/3 of her childhood, has homemade treats. Very minimal in terms of costume, she just puts on dark clothing. The kids are surprised and pleased to find that the treats are excellent.
Jessa is a hider, and as an Illusionist, she really goes all out on the special effects. Any kid who doesn't run away screaming gets hearty compliments on their costumes and Alvian chewing crystals.
Tenacity forgot anything was happening and is busy in her lab when someone knocks on her door. The demon-in-a-lab-coat-and-thick-goggles is seen as an awesome mad scientist costume. Unfortunately she didn't have anything prepared to give away, so that just leaves... whatever's around the lab. Kids go home with some strange and potentially dangerous items.
Ellimane has turned the porch light off, both because she doesn't have the budget, and she's also got to take advantage of the night. People are more willing to open their doors on Halloween and she's got targets to take out.
Ifys wants so badly to let people trick and treat at the palace. Anslo doesn't let him for security reasons. He insists on dressing up anyway.
Halloween isn't really a thing in Versewelt since, well, everyone's undead. Theo and Silvia dress up as completely ordinary humans and go knock on people's doors, hand anyone who answers candy, and leave.
Hyrin and Saff lost a bet and pulled guard duty that night. They embellish their uniforms with spooky decorations anyway.
Yurhagh thinks toys are more fun than treats. She has spent a long time sewing spooky little plush toys for the kids to take their pick of.
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Romeo And Juliet (Or Some Other Romantic Shit Like That) Ch. 9
Eddie Munson x f!reader
Series Description: The Saturday night slot at The Hideout is open, and Corroded Coffin thought they were a shoo-in. When it goes to a different band, however, Eddie becomes more than a little distracted by their pretty bassist.
Previous Chapter
Chapter Description: Things finally start to feel really, truly normal.
Warnings: alcohol mention, food mention, language.
Word Count: 2292
Notes: We're nearing the end, folks! I'm like ninety percent sure ch. 10 is going to be the end, though there might be an epilogue/bonus chapter tacked on, maybe a deleted scene or two, who knows! Also I was very hungry whilst I wrote this and you can tell lol
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It was two days after Eddie’s unannounced visit to your apartment when his phone rang. 
Eddie had run to the grocery store to grab a handful of things for his uncle, leaving you all on your lonesome in the trailer. You weren’t entirely sure whether or not you should pick it up; it wasn’t your phone, and answering for him felt like it might be an invasion of Eddie’s privacy. You let it ring.
Only a few moments passed before it rang again.
 Well, what if it was an emergency? What if something happened to his uncle at work and you had just let the phone ring? You’d never be able to forgive yourself. You could deal with a mild invasion of privacy if it meant that-
It stopped ringing before you could get to it. Okay, well, if it really was an emergency, they’ll call again, and-
There it goes!
You scrambled for the phone as quickly as you could and tried to cover up the anxiety in your voice as you greeted the other line.
“Hello?”
“Oh, thank Christ, it’s you. I really didn’t want to have to talk to him again. He gets all weird when he’s around me.”
“Jessa?” you asked with a mixture of intense relief and mild shock. “What are you doing? How did you even get this number?”
“Eddie’s bandmates are very easy to bribe,” Harriette chimed in. You could easily picture the two of them huddled around the butter yellow receiver of the phone in your apartment.
“What did you give them?” you asked, an affectionate smile on your face.
“Twenty bucks and a couple old copies of NME that my sister sent me when she was studying abroad,” Jessa described. Those magazines were like gold.
“Oh man, you must’ve been desperate to just hand those over like that,” you giggle. 
“Well yeah, you went completely MIA on us,” Jessa chided back.
“Yeah, sorry about that,” you said. You genuinely meant it.
“Don’t apologize. This whole thing’s kind of fucked,” Harriette placated. “Look, do you wanna meet up later? We can go to that sandwich place you like. The one on Wabash?”
Harriette knew exactly what she was doing. You could never turn down a Greek Veggie sandwich from Ginger’s Deli.
“You’re a little bit evil, do you know that?” you prodded, though you were sure the pair on the other end could hear your smile through the line.
“Thank you,” Harriette said. “Two?”
“Two’s good.” Any time would’ve been good; it wasn’t like you had a particularly busy schedule as of late.
“Good,” Harriette agreed. “See you at two.”
“Do not stand us up!” Jessa added.
“I won’t stand you up.”
“Because you’ve stood us up before,” she continued her prodding.
“I’m not going to stand you up!” you assure.
“Good. Don’t. Bye!”
With that, the girls on the other end hung up and the high-pitched ring of the dial tone filled your head.
You were equal parts excited and terrified. On one hand, this was the longest you’d gone without seeing Jessa since she had to get her appendix taken out in seventh grade. On the other hand, meeting up with them would mean having to face the ugly reality of the last week. That didn’t seem all that fun.
It was almost one when Eddie got back from the store. You were in his room putting on a mildly presentable outfit and trying your hardest to seem like you weren’t about to explode with anticipation. He plopped the crinkly plastic bags on the counter and called out to you. 
“Look at what I found!” he called to you, elbow deep in one of the bags. “I’m not a hundred percent sure what animal it’s even supposed to be, but I figured Mr. Moo could use a friend and- oh.”
You walked out of the short hallway in real people clothes, which Eddie hadn’t seen you wearing in three days.
“Jessa and Harriette called,” you explained. 
“Really?” Eddie asked and abandoned his search in the grocery bag. “Wait, how’d they even get my number?”
“I don’t know.” You weren’t quite ready to throw Gareth and Jeff under the bus just yet. “But, um, they asked to meet up. Later. At two.”
Eddie wasn’t surprised that they’d called to meet up, but he was surprised to hear that you had said yes. 
“Do you want me to go with you?” he asked.
“I mean, I do need you to drive me.”
“Well, yeah, but do you want me to, like, go in with you?” 
“I don’t think so,” you decided after a moment of deliberation. You were sitting on one of the kitchen chairs lacing up your boots, your face pointed down. “I love you and all, but I don’t want it to seem like I need a guard dog, you know?”
You’d said it so casually that Eddie almost missed it. He didn’t, though, and it hit him like a bowling ball square to the chest once it properly processed. 
‘I love you and all.’
You didn’t seem to catch that you’d even said it in the first place, and quickly looked up at him at the sound of his silence. You looked concerned.
“I wasn’t trying to be mean or anything, I promise, I just-”
“You love me?” Eddie asked; it was almost a whisper. He had gone bright pink and he was staring at you like you’d sprouted another head. 
He could count on one hand the number of people who had said that to him. The number of people who had said it and actually meant it was even smaller. 
“What? I-oh,” you started, though you cut yourself off, and you quickly began sporting a similar expression. Neither of you quite knew what to do. You stuttered a bit, trying your best to swim through the tension you’d created, before you unceremoniously blurted out, “Yeah. I do.”
Eddie was a deer in your headlights. His heart was pounding in his chest harder than it ever had before, and he was getting ready to panic. He loved you too, maybe more than he could ever even put into words, but for some reason he felt as if he had been turned to stone. What if he couldn’t say it? What if he tried, but his tongue turned into cotton before he could get the words out? You’d leave him, he was sure, and maybe he wouldn’t ever see you again, and. . . he could feel that panic setting in. Evidently, you could as well. You slowly lifted yourself from your chair and made your way across the kitchen to him, placing a hand on either shoulder. You looked a bit like you were about to start panicking too. You lifted your right hand and ghosted your thumb over Eddie’s eyebrow, though his look of concern only slightly faltered.
“Everything alright in there?” you asked, voice soft.
“Yeah,” Eddie whispered back to you. His voice had the slightest shake to it. “Yeah. All good.”
“Good,” you said. “Because I’m pretty sure the next line is yours, handsome.”
“Fuck! Shit, I’m sorry, you’re right, I-”
“Christ, you’re adorable,” you laughed. It made Eddie laugh too, and shrink even further into himself.
“I love you, too.” It was the softest whisper, and the words felt foreign in his mouth. It was the complete truth, but vulnerability was never Eddie’s forte. 
“I was hoping you’d say that,” you muttered before kissing him. Eddie would never, ever, get tired of you kissing him. 
“Jesus, when did you get so smooth?” he asked with a grin, hands on your neck.
“I’ve rehearsed this conversation in my head a lot of times.”
“Oh, so that was all pre prepared?”
“Like, half of it.” You were smiling so wide Eddie was sure it was going to start hurting you soon.
“Those one-liners were fantastic,” Eddie praised.
“I try,” you replied nonchalantly. “Now, did I hear you say something about a friend for Mr. Moo?”
“Oh yeah!” Eddie exclaimed. He’d forgotten about the little stuffed toy he’d seen in the checkout line. He excitedly dug around through the bags until he found it and quickly tossed it your way. You caught it, though it was a very awkward catch.
“What is it supposed to be?” you asked as you looked into the eyes of the creature in your hands.
“I have no idea,” Eddie said. “That’s why I got it. I can’t tell at all, but he’s damn cute.”
“A chihuahua? Maybe?” you suggested.
“I was thinking maybe a coyote, or, like, a really pointy cat.” That made you laugh out loud.
“Okay, yeah. He’s a really pointy cat.”
“What’s this pointy cat’s name?” he inquired. You deliberate for a moment before turning to him and proudly declaring:
“Pierer. His name is Pierre.”
“That makes perfect sense, actually.”
You quickly went to place Pierre on Eddie’s bed next to Mr. Moo (Eddie had insisted that he deserved his spot on the bed with the two of you) and caught sight of the time.
“Hey,” you said to him when you walked back out. “It’s quarter ‘til. We should probably go.”
“Right.”
The drive was short, though your anxiety made it stretch. You could already see Harriette’s Chevrolet in the parking lot when Eddie shut off the van.
“I’ll stay out here,” Eddie started. “If shit starts to go south-”
“It’s not going to,” you assure him.
“But if it does, I’ll be right here and we can hightail it outta here, okay?”
“Okay.” You nodded and got out of the van. 
You walked into the small restaurant and immediately saw Harriette and Jessa in a booth tucked into the corner. You gave them a wave, and Jessa waved back. Harriette shot you a smile and you inched your way closer. They both had baskets of food in front of them, as well as one sitting on the side of the table across from them.
Greek Veggie.
“I’m paying you back for this,” you say as you sit down.
“Shut up, no you’re not,” Jessa insisted. “I won’t take it.”
“Yeah, I know you won’t, which makes it ten times more frustrating.” The three of you were quiet for a moment before Harriette broke through it. 
“I’m so happy to see you,” she said.
“Me too,” you respond. You almost felt a bit like you were going to cry, though you weren’t sure why exactly.
“First off,” Jessa said. “We have an olive branch.”
“An olive branch?”
“Technically it’s really from Marcus, but either way,” Harriette said as she pulled a bottle out of her purse.
Marcus, Harriette's boyfriend, was a bartender at one of the fancy restaurants downtown, much nicer than The Hideout, and liked to experiment with his own odd combinations. There was always some potion being brewed in their apartment, but there was one recurring hit that was your favorite.
“Oh my god, is that-”
“One bottle of vanilla infused Vodka, just for you.”
“Harriette, I need you to tell your boyfriend that I’m in love with him,” you joked as you accepted the bottle. You would normally feign anger at the thought of them getting you anything, just as you had with the sandwich, but you were just happy to finally be with your friends again.
And they wanted you back! You knew they would, but there was still that tiny voice in your head that was convinced that you would be out for good. You were more than thrilled.
“And we want you on lead vocals.”
That one threw you for a loop, though.
“What?” you asked, shocked.
“I mean, you were the lead vocalist before Tonya came around,” Jessa reminded you.
“Yeah, when we were fourteen,” you shot back.
“So, you could totally do it again. Your voice is better than her’s is anyway,” Harriette added.
“I can’t sing nearly as high as she can. I wouldn’t be able to actually perform any of our songs,” you put forward. 
“So?” Jessa asked with a shrug. “You’re the one who wrote the songs in the first place. They can be rewritten.”
You stared at the pair sitting in front of you. The only reason you had been demoted to backing vocals way back when was because Tonya wasn’t able to hold her own on any instrument, not well enough at least. 
You actually kind of liked the idea of being the frontman.
“Okay.”
“Okay?”
“Bass and lead vocals,” you parrot back to them. “Sounds like fun, I think.”
“Yes!” Jessa exclaimed. She darted up out of her seat to give you a hug. “Yes!”
Harriette joined you two into an awkward group hug, and you knew that the three of you were drawing attention from the other patrons of the deli, but you couldn’t be bothered to care. Before you broke away, Jessa said something into your ear.
“Y’know Casanova’s been watching us through the window the whole time, right?” she asked.
“Yeah, I know,” you said. “You worry too much.”
“I think that I worry the perfect amount, actually,” Jessa insisted as she slid back into the booth, immediately picking the pickle spear out of Harriette’s basket.
“I would have said yes if you had asked for that,” Harriette said. She feigned annoyance but you all knew she didn’t really care.
“I know, that’s why I took it.”
Things finally felt normal, really truly normal, and you couldn’t have been happier.
“I am going to pay you back for this,” you said before taking a bite of your food. You were gonna smell like bell pepper and red onion all night, but you didn’t care.
“Just eat the damn sandwich.”
Tiny Little Taglist: @wickedslashdivine @youareadistraction @bubbles-is-my-thing @music-is-my-only-reality @heavenkiss @aedicn @grungegrrrl @moviefreak1205
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ladyhindsight · 1 year
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Hello! I just finished rereading The Lost Book of The White and I'm back on full force from the Stuff That Nobody Else Cares About department. I agree a lot with your general opinions on the book, I'm just clinging to some details now. Warning: Robert-adjacent rant (+ Maryse). Again.
A few years ago, The Land I Lost came out and it made a reference to the occasion of this book mentioning a time that Alec and Magnus let Max under the care of Maryse and her boyfriend, but the boyfriend part was edited out.
SRB is the co-author of that novella, and she was asked about it. Honestly, being the way I am, I was waiting for this book to see 1) Robert, because CC had said on her tumblr that he would show up to be cute with Max and 2) clarification on the Maryse's boyfriend thing.
Was I sad that I didn't get anything? Yes, while at the same time understanding that if Robert did show up it would be just fanservice for like 4 people in the world instead of anything actually meaningful. Just like Maryse's presence was: they could have let Max under the care of anyone else and wouldn't make a difference.
I suppose this is the part I'm upset about, as one of those 4 people in the world, I understand that Robert's character is done, in the sense that there's pretty much nothing else CC has to say about him, (take this with a lot of salt) and everything else about him from now on is just blatent fanservice. Like, CC gave CJ thumbs up to include in the graphic novel adaptation that when Clary used the rune that made people see in her their most loved one, Robert sees Michael, and CJ even included it with the whole page divided between Luke seeing Jocelyn/Robert seeing Michael, which, you know, gives all that vibe.
I love it so much, but you know, it's just fanservice that doesn't change anything. That's fine.
I wouldn't say the same about Maryse, though. I feel like her character is somehow simpler than Robert's, but that's also because the books are a mess and Robert's character was even more of a mess too before being loosely fixed in extra content/companion books etc. SRB's reply made me excited because I thought that the book would contain something that would be ABOUT Maryse, it didn't have to be a relationship, but if it's going to tell us something about her, I take it, as TSC is very romance-centered anyway.
Now I don't understand the thought process behind the change, and I had the idea of telling you about this after reading the extra story of the Jessa wedding that is included in my translated copy.
Maryse and Kadir were there too, already deep in conversation with Jocelyn and Luke. Kadir hadn’t been on the guest list Jem and Tessa had given Magnus, because they didn’t really know him, but Magnus had added him as Maryse’s plus-one. It never hurt to butter up your boyfriend’s mother, especially when she was willing to babysit for days at a time.
?
Being someone's plus-one in this sort of private occasion doesn't have many possible meanings, so I was like, Kadir is supposed to be Maryse's boyfriend, okay, but why anything about it couldn't be said in the book, as it was implied to be the plan according to SRB's reply? The whole trilogy exists to be a fanservice fest, and I'm very okay with that of all things, since clearly nothing that happens in books 1 and 2 so far changes anything in the main story, so it could be all 400 pages of fanservice for the hardcore fans and be it, I'm just upset because there was a setup for this book to have something about Maryse more than just her being there and Kadir standing beside her being there too, and it would have been so nice to have this universe remember non-immortal 25+ year old people exist too and that their story isn't "over." (I'm not even 25 by the way, I surprised myself getting so frustrated with these books)
Maryse is stepping down from the head of the institute position, which already doesn't make much sense to me (it's JUST so Jace can become the head of the institute in her place, I knooooow), and she is very connected with her family (I guess, since two of her children still live with her?) and seems to be in a relationship with Kadir, someone we are told to have been somehow close to the family for several years, and that includes several years before Maryse got divorced, and that's a interesting dynamic, as they've known each other for a pretty long time and Kadir certainly saw Maryse going through changes. I WANT TO KNOW ABOUT ALL OF THIS (cries)
And this book could perfectly have been the place for it. I hope you can figure out a coherent thought behind this word vomit I did, sorry.
Be well!
- R
Hope you've been well with me taking forever to answer your messages!!
I often feel like the Department of the Stuff That Nobody Else Cares About holds the most interesting things that are generally ignored, and we are lead to these discoveries by our obsessions over some side characters the author didn’t really intend to have this kind of scrutiny over.
After The Lost Book of the White in continuation with Queen of Air and Darkness, Maryse has become more or less a convenient baby sitter whenever it’s inconvenient for the kids to be around in the story. I didn’t actually know about that boyfriend line. I don’t mind Maryse having a boyfriend, her kids having a stepfather—I just hoped it would not be Kadir just for the sake of having one man-woman friendship that isn’t in any level romantic (though simultaneously he’d be an awesome, if not the best choice). Kit and Livvy didn’t even manage that and they were just friends.
I was similarly conflicted with the graphic novel. On the other hand, I felt really warm about Robert seeing Michael and Michael truly being the one he loved most (which is also weird because, Robert, you have children), and also on the other hand, like you said, it was just for fan service. I’ve said and will keep saying that there is nothing I trust about Clare as an author other than her infinite love for the Herondales. Everything else is questionable, and come to think of it, it’s tiring that there’s nothing else I can really trust as to her intentions with the narrative. The first time I read Born to Endless Night, I felt the major shift in Robert’s and Maryse’s characters. Though I now find it fun and a light piece of reading, I remember the distinct impression of how fan fiction-esque it all felt. It was surreal, to be offered all that but at the same time it felt like crap? Lol
Kadir has been such a constant at Maryse’s side, so I would not be surprised if Clare eventually did go for the romantic angle for them. If she doesn’t, I’m not saddened at all for the reason mentioned above. I don’t know, it could go either way, and I’d probably be fine with it.
As to Robert, I don’t get why authors make promises like that when the final story doesn’t even include them. The only time Robert is mentioned is this:
It was strange to walk into that same Institute, with a Lightwood next to him, holding their child. To have Maryse Lightwood as something more like family and less like a business partner he could never fully trust. He was glad that Robert, at least, was busy with Inquisitor business in Idris. Inquisiting some folks, he assumed.
He wasn’t even around. Where is my scene of Robert with Max, Clare? Where is it!!
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skiplo-wave · 2 years
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Okay so the girl that made up the rumor that I was pregnant, let's call her Jessa. Close enough.
Well after we get out of the woods and my brothers are flipping out, Jessa gets jealous because she thought something was going on. It didn't take much for her to get jealous because she was like possessive over this dude. She didn't like him sitting next to other girls in class. Us being the ages 13 and 14, that age and that time was so toxic. So first it starts with the rumor that me and this dude - we'll call him Cody - had sex in the woods and we lied about getting lost during capture the flag. This rumor was not known to me until three weeks after that happened. And once something like this happens, people don't understand how making up stuff about someone can damage their reputation. Even if you are proven innocent, people still can or even subconsciously look at you differently. It was the last weekend of October and it was suppose to be so much fun because weeks prior I got invited to my first Halloween party. It was just a all girls party but last minute supposedly the party was called off. Now keep in mind that a lot of the girls that was going besides Jessa was from youth group. The next day it's Sunday, I walk into youth class and there's only a few of us so far. One of the girls that I hung out with was unusually quiet and not talkative at all. As the class fills up I am getting a few weird stares even from my friends. I knew something was wrong. And not only that but the youth pastors vibe felt off and he kept his head down in his bible. Normally we always got a good uplifting lesson but today the verses just felt cold. Jessa of course kept looking at me and Cody was not in church this day. I tried ignoring it the best I could until after class. I kinda comment to another friend that the atmosphere was weird in the class. This friend was the one that told about the rumor that me and Cody hooked up. I was absolutely sickened and I asked her who said it? And of course it was Jessa and her mom. This is when I learned that not only was Jessa a bitch but her mom was too. She also told me the party was not canceled, I was uninvited because my friends parents believed Jessa and her moms lies. She didn't want me to be a "bad influence" on their daughter.
I was so angry that I had tears in my eyes. I had to literally compose myself in the bathroom. After I washed my face, I seen red.
So would do I do? I confronted Jessa. She tried to play dumb at first and than threatened me. And she said and I still remember it "Nobody can prove that you didn't do anything with Cody just like nobody can prove that I lied."
The next few weeks was hell and looking back I should had told my parents. But it was just awkward to talk to them about sex at that age. What made it worse, the next week that Cody was there because he didn't show up the previous week because he heard the rumors before I did. Some of the older boys that was in high school was giving him slaps on the back. And he ended up getting in a fight with one of them. I am glad he didn't go along with the lies to make himself look good. But than when the teachers set them down and asked what caused the fight nobody would talk because again like me it's awkward to talk to an adult about sex. This lie goes on and on until Jessa and her mom started saying I was pregnant. That's when it really blew up through out the church. A lot of close family friends in the church didn't believe it but the associate pastor and the youth pastor did right along with some other higher ups. Finally I had to tell someone, I ended up going to my brothers before it got back to my parents and I told them what was going on. They wanted to fight but of course they couldn't because they was raised to never put a hand on a woman. They even contemplated hiring a kid and a woman to kick Jessa and her moms ass lmfao. My brothers show no mercy when someone picks on their younger sister😂 Because my brothers couldn't do anything they sat down with me with my parents to tell them what's happening because it was just to awkward for me. My parents go to the pastor and the youth pastor thinking that if they say these rumors are false this would stop. And it didn't because there was no proof. Even Cody denying what happened, it still did not stop it. People was whispering and laughing behind my back. I even had a few people treating me as if I was pregnant, telling me not to lift chairs because I always helped clean up after class. It was so embarrassing!
Finally about 3 months after the first rumor started, the pastor's wife finally got Jessa's mom to admit that the rumors came out of her daughters mouth first. I confronted Jessa again in the entry hall. She again admitted it and stalked off. I happen to look up and Skip, God has a sense of humor... There was a security camera! The red light was on. I asked the pastor if I could have the recording. The quality was shit but the audio was perfect. You could hear her confession loud and clear. The pastor said let me deal with it. He than came up with a plot to have it playing on the projector screens in both the youth class and for all the congregation to hear. The chaos that disrupted that cold January Sunday morning I will never forget. My mom punched Jessa's mom and she almost got arrested. Jessa and her whole family was asked to leave the church but... not right before someone let it slip that Jessa's mom was having an affair with the youth pastor. So that's why the youth pastor believed the rumors about me. The youth pastor's wife - now ex-wife - gets in a fist fight with her cheating husband.
So both Jessa's mom and the youth pastor got their asses kicked that day.
It was a holy mess Skip. Although I was finally glad the truth was out and I got a lot of apologies from people, but I still had a few people questioning me which means they probably still had contact with Jessa's family. But it didn't matter and eventually those people left the church and it became a lot peaceful.
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Get rekt Jessa
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astrangemagic-a · 1 year
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He doesn't like seeing his children hurt, and as he holds his daughter close to him, his hand gentle against her head before placing a kiss there he chuckles albeit faintly. "I guess you're a little lucky..." he says despite the situation they are currently in. "I'm a doctor."
He never thought it would go this far - what Jessa is capable of with that snake in her veins... His head hangs low knowing that while Cassandra is beating herself up, he's being himself up just the same.
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"I promise you, sweetheart, you will be okay...I won't let anything happen to you." He brushes her hair back, and then looks over to Cass who now holds a limp Jessa in her arms. "Not you, not your sister...I promise."
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i think  …  i think i need a doctor . - Tessa @dasmirakel
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thistleandthorn-rpg · 2 years
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Congrats, Jessa, on your app for Chandler Berry!  Please check out this page for what to do next, and send us her blog within 48 hours.
OOC INFORMATION:
Name/Alias: Jessa
Preferred pronoun: she/hers
Age (Must be 20+): 30+
Timezone/Country: ET/US
RP Experience: years
Activity Level: 6-7, most active on evenings and weekends
IC INFORMATION:
Name: Matthew Percival Fabray
Designation: Switch
Age: 27
Birthday: November 11th, 1994
Faceclaim: Toby Regbo
Orientation: demisexual
Kinks: power differential, bondage, sensory play, roleplay [still exploring]
Anti-Kinks: age play, scat
Key Points:
Career-focused
Up-and-coming author
Introverted; takes a while to open up
Appears strong, poised, and stuck-up to others
Loyal to a fault once someone is considered one of his people
BIO
As the oldest son of Russell Fabray, Matthew was groomed to follow in his father’s footsteps and take over the tobacco company once his father eventually retired. He had a lot of pressure on him from a young age, and he quickly grew to hate the thought of the legacy his father was leaving for him. He was an obedient son, though, and when he graduated from high school, he went directly to college to study management and accounting. As a junior, he took advantage of the opportunity to study abroad in Scotland for an entire year. While he was there, he took electives in literature and creative writing, and upon returning to the US, he found he’d actually earned enough credits for a minor in English–though he didn’t dare let his family know. Instead, he worked his regular summer internship in the tobacco company, graduated with honors, took the CPA exam, and started an MBA program. 
The older he got, though, the more Matt thought back to his time in Scotland. He missed his creative writing class, and he began to spend much of his free time writing. Romance had never seemed that important to him, so while he had some friends he hung out with at times, it wasn’t that hard for him to make time for his novel. His grades took a dip, though luckily for him, his father had long ago stopped checking in on them regularly, and he still managed to graduate.
Nothing was harder for Matt than starting his new position in his father’s company once he had his MBA. Working 8-5 day in and day out was stifling, not to mention the overtime he was expected to pull on a nearly daily basis, simply because he was the boss’s son and needed to learn everything he could about the business. Still, he spent his free time writing, and shortly before his 26th birthday, he received news from a literary agent: his first novel was going to be published.
Matt had no idea how it happened, but his novel took off. It was a young adult, dystopian, vampire and werewolf story that focused on action and friendships rather than a romantic relationship or claim, and people loved it. He actually took some time off work to do a book signing tour. When he got back from the tour, his father was furious with him for having done something so ‘frivolous’ when he could have taken advantage of his time off to enroll at an institute. Matt’s younger half-brothers were both already there, and Russell insisted that it was time for Matthew to find his submissive to complement him the way that Judy and Camille did for him.
The only problem? Matthew wasn’t sure he was meant to be a Dominant, not if it meant having the same sort of stressful life he’d been preparing for since he was a child. He also couldn’t see himself as a submissive. He was thrilled to get to spend time with his brothers, but he’d have been just as content with a cup of tea and the half-finished draft of his second novel open on his laptop. He’d never found someone he wanted to have sex with before, and he wasn’t sure how an institute would change that.
BIO QUESTIONS:
What are your feelings about the mark you have received?
This is probably the best mark for me. I don’t particularly want to participate in this whole claim thing, but I suppose that since I have to, I’m grateful for the ability to figure out for myself whether I lean more Dom or sub.
How do your feelings on the system compare to your parents’ feelings on it?
My parents are very strongly in favor of the system, and they tried to instill that belief in me. I understand the importance of the system, but I’d personally rather just exist on its periphery if I could. I don’t need a claim to be happy, despite what my family believes.
Where do you see yourself after you graduate?
My claim and I will be moving back to Mobile so that I can return to my job in the tobacco company. That’s non-negotiable.
How do you feel about authority?
Authority has its place. It works best when the person in power has earned that position, but that’s not always the case. I’m comfortable following people in authority regardless of whether I respect their power. I don’t particularly enjoy rocking the boat. However, I do enjoy getting to lead others when I’m given the opportunity.
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liron-ao3 · 2 years
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Masterpost of all works for the Shadowhunters Ace Mini Bang 2021
All Over Me
Author: cinberella | Artist: ShadowhuntersOE
Alec's never been interested in sex or relationships. Meeting Magnus makes everything more complicated. Will Alec be ready to face a new, consuming bond, called Love?
Fiction Writer
Author: Jevan | Artist: AceOn_Ice
Raphael is a successful lawyer and writes fanfiction about his favorite comic series in his spare time. Simon is a business student who only goes through with his studies out of love for his mother. Whenever he has the opportunity he escapes into the worlds of fanfiction. What will happen when Simon begins to rave about his favorite author, not knowing that he is sitting across from him?
Flawless
Author: Kissa | Artist: Jessa
Jace has always known he's different, but not whether it's a good or a bad thing. As the years go by, he settles more and more in his identity but the doubt remains - why is no one catching his eye and can the one person he loves with all his heart ever believe Jace is enough for him? (Pairing: Jalec)
Heart Of Spades
Author: buffoonprincess | Art: Halmaithor
Keen to upholding her family’s reputation and being mindful of her career ambitions within shadowhunter ranks, Isabelle Lightwood always aced every single test that came her way. She played the bitch, the princess, and the whore on the field, and the perfect daughter, sister and girlfriend outside of it. Soon enough, however, she discovered that she dreaded physical intimacy. Every single relationship eventually fell apart. Every time a man looked at her with hungry eyes, she became more and more sick of it.
Learning To Love
Author: all_fandoms_reader | Artist: Noochifer
Alec was sixteen when he realized that he was asexual. A story of self-discovery, of coming out (the first time, and then again, and again), and of acceptance.
Life Lessons
Author: Polarnacht | Artist: Jessa
Raised by Valentine, Jace gets taught many lessons, most of them, he takes to heart. He learns that he’s a soldier, his body a weapon for him to wield. That he can use it to kill he learns quickly, that he can use it to gain power in a totally different way later. And though he doesn’t enjoy it, he executes it. That his body can be more than a weapon is something he learns much later in his life, and though the lesson is taught more gently than the previous ones, it’s probably the most violent he learned so far. But it’s a lesson Jace would not want to miss, and he knows he will never let go of the person who taught it. Alec.
Love, Trust, Intimacy
Author: MyShipLife | Artist: AceOn_Ice
Raphael never liked playing matchmaker. If people were supposed to meet and hit it off, they would. But for two of his favorite people, maybe then he could help fate.
Meant For You
Author: cuubism | Artist: another-random-stranger
After too many bad experiences and partners who have no interest in understanding him or his asexuality, Magnus has completely given up on having a romantic relationship. Then he meets Alec, and things get a lot more complicated.
My Soul To Keep
Author: missthingsplace | Artist: buffoonprincess
Huddled in a ball against the wall of a building, Alec felt like his life had fallen apart. He wondered how everything had taken such an awful turn in the space of a few hours. Scared, homeless and clueless about what to do next, he believes he's lost everything. Then a man with beautiful eyes offered his help...
Pictureframes (Of All My Dreams)
Author: Halmaithor | Artist: Jevan
Snapshots of Alec and Magnus' life together, told through the rings they exchange over the decades.
Pretty Boy
Author: @Skyffable | Artist: @Better_t_Cocain
Magnus Bane, succesful but lonely lawyer, decides to hire a prostitute from the Shadow Blvd for company and to bring along to various business events, but Magnus hadn't been prepared for the charming, unlikely and pretty boy that is Alec Lightwood who will turn his life upside down.
Run Out Of Reasons
Author: SchrodingersHalfling | Artist: penguin_mara
Magnus is old enough to know better. This orphanage for Warlock children the Clave have started is just a flashy distraction to show the world that they’ve changed. Something to back up all their claims of condemning Valentine and his actions five and twenty-five years ago. He’s still not sure what to make of Lightwood.
This Is Who I'm Meant to Be
Author: MissYouSoFar | Artist: mollyjae
Three times Alec goes to Pride and his journey to figuring out his sexuality and the ace spectrum.
Somewhere Over The Rainbow
Author: Liron / Artist: Better_t_Cocain
Izzy and Simon want a baby. But how is that supposed to work? They haven't had sex in years, for very good reasons. Is a baby worth changing that?
The Boy On The Bridge
Author: Princess_Kopyytko | Artist: penguin_mara
When everything at his grandparents' birthday party goes wrong, Alec needs to be alone. What he doesn't expect is a stranger who offers to help him.
Two Aces in a Pot
Author: Sivan325 | Artist: Miss_Shiva_Adler
When Raphael and Alec first meet, they both are alphas. Either of them tell the other that they are “Ace”, but Alec takes his time to get to know Raphael as the other does the same.
Omega Magnus doesn’t seem thrilled that the alpha he was assigned to, rejected him, and Magnus will do anything to get the alpha to be his.
Vignettes Tainted Crimson Red
Author: high_warlock_of_brooklyn | Artist: Miss_Shiva_Adler
Raphael Santiago has borne many titles- son, brother, clan leader, friend, enemy, and of course, the not so occasional ‘monster’ and the many variations of such. Raphael has been witness to many events- some good, some bad, most of them bloody. He’s learned to know what’s coming- half out of survival purposes, and half for his own amusement. But even then, the universe has a way of surprising him.
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fncreature · 2 years
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You Don't Need to Compare to the Godlike (2)
Because the best lovers always start, and end, at friends
Part One: I Can't Compare to the Godlike
A/n: Sorry this took a little while! I've been busy, we started redoing my house a bit, and then Empires ended so I was pretty distracted. I tried to make this one a touch more lighthearted (ish kinda not really), but I hope you enjoy!
Thanks to @divalicious-jessa-blog for prompting me to write a part 2, and for all your support!
Your sobs were quiet, but not silent.
You did your absolute best not to cry, but you couldn’t stop yourself.
And that was because he was right.
Peter was right, and it tore your heart into pieces.
On paper, there was no choice; Ikaris would win, everytime. But Peter, you and Peter had history. A past that you and Ikaris would never get.
You met Peter before everything.
Before he was Spider-Man, before you became an Avenger, before even Iron Man.
Because the best lovers always start as friends.
It took five years of just friendship to become more.
It took two years of being more to become broken.
You had been on comms with Peter when it happened. You were with Steve, him with Stark.
Both of you had lost that day.
Neither of you would ever admit the amount of time you spent in an embrace on the battlefield, or the amount of tears that were shed.
The rift between the two of you had been obvious, but the both of you ignored it. Because you loved Peter, and you wanted to keep loving him.
And Peter was the bigger person. He recognized it, and did his best not to break your heart.
He did, but he tried.
And you felt so, so guilty.
“Y/n?”
You looked up immediately.
Ikaris. It was Ikaris. Half of your pain.
“Go away” You told him.
“Are you alright?” He asked, obvious concern and worry in his voice.
“Go away” You repeated.
“Y/n” “Stop it, Ikaris! If you want to know why I’m crying then go f*cking ask yourself! Just- Just go, and don’t try to talk to me” You shouted, a harsh bitterness in your voice that Ikaris couldn’t understand.
“I just-”
“Go”
And to your relief, he actually did.
Not to your relief, he sent Bucky back.
“Hey kid” Bucky smiled softly, leaning in your doorway. “Need anythin’?”
“Stop it, Bucky” You said, trying to wipe away the tears that were still rapidly spilling down your cheeks.
“Hey” He said, sitting down next to you on your bed. “What’s wrong?”
His voice was so sincere and soft, and you hated it. You hated everything, especially Ikaris.
“Peter. Ikaris. He-” “If that b*stard hurt you I will personally go kick his *ss right now, is that something that needs to happen?”
You laughed a little. “Possibly”
“What’s going on, huh?” Bucky asked.
And without thinking, the story fumbled out, and as soon as you finished, Bucky stood up.
“Parker‘ll be here in fifteen or so, I’ll grab you a hot chocolate, and then I’m gonna go kick that Eternal’s *ss, ‘kay?” Bucky asked.
You would never tell, but Bucky was you favorite member of the team. Because he was overprotective of you, he felt like a father to you, and you loved that about him.
“Just don’t let him hurt you, okay?” You asked.
“Parker, Ikaris, or the stove?” Bucky joked.
“Ikaris, but don’t let metal touch the stove again” You chuckled, smiling slightly.
“Will keep that in mind” Bucky nodded, before walking off.
He was true to his word though, he brought you a hot chocolate, and Peter.
Peter stood awkwardly as Bucky walked away.
“What’s going on, Y/n?” Peter asked.
“I’m sorry.” You said softly, setting your cup on your nightstand. “Pete, I am so, so, so sorry” He looked a small bit concerned.
“You were right” You breathed. “And I’m sorry, but not the reason you think. I hope, at least. Peter, I made a mistake. A few massive f*cking mistakes, actually. You don’t have to win me back because I’m bringing myself back.”
“Y/n I told you, if you love him, please don’t get hung up on me and-”
“I don’t love him, Peter! I don’t and I’m sorry! It- I used to like him, maybe a little but it was never full love, it never was. But- I- I think what sealed that image’s frame was Ikaris. He’s perfect on paper, and I think he loved me. But I don’t love him, I love you”
“Mildly off topic, but do you hear punches or something outside?” Peter asked.
“Yeah, ignore it” You said, hiding a grin.
“Anyway, Y/n, I told you, I can’t compare to-”
“You don’t need to compare to the Godlike! And you shouldn’t have to because you’re perfect too! But he’s Superhero-perfect and you’re perfect for me. He may be everything someone would want, but I’m not someone. And if you want me back, I’d be unbelievably happy to throw myself back into your arms and punch Ikaris in the face”
Peter snickered a little. “Are you sure?” “Of course” You said. “Petey”
And in the blink of your eye, you were in his arms, and you were both crying.
“Y/n, is this really what you want?” Peter asked softly.
“You’re everything I want”
~
You held Peter’s hand tightly as you walked to the rec room.
“Hey guys” Bucky said, looking up from a book. “How’s it going?”
“How’d the fight go?” You asked, looking away from Peter’s expression of bewilderment.
“Went better than I expected. Turns out, if you don’t let him use any of his powers, he’s surprisingly weak.” Bucky shrugged.
“Huh” You nodded.
“I’m sorry, can someone please explain?” Peter asked.
“Ikaris is the reason we broke up and I told Bucky so Bucky went to kick Ikaris’ *ss after he brought you” You explained.
“So that was the punching?” Peter asked, and you and Bucky nodded.
You and Peter had just sat down when a battered, bruised, Ikaris stormed in.
“What the actual h*ll, Barnes, I thought- Oh, hello Y/n” Ikaris said, immediately switching tones when he noticed you. He also noticed you holding hands with Peter.
And it was all he was staring at.
“Ikaris, if you didn’t know, me and Peter have been dating for two- Petey does the blip count since we didn’t technically break up?” Peter shook his head. “Two years”
Ikaris bit his lip.
“I assumed you had broken up when I saw you crying earlier, but-”
“That was actually your fault, sir” Peter spoke up.
“I was informed” Ikaris replied harshly.
“I’m sure Sersi would love to love you, so you’re not outta options, so you can go now, Ikaris” You said.
“What happened to us being friends, Y/n?” Ikaris asked.
“You not wanting to stay that way”
“Damn” Peter mumbled under his breath.
Ikaris quickly moved out, his face turning a red hue.
“Honestly, I thought there’d be a lot more yelling and crying in that discussion” You remarked.
Peter nodded.
“I love you” You whispered to him, and for the first time in what felt like forever, your lips met.
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amchara · 3 years
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Days Like These — Jessa / Carstairs-Gray family ficlet (Fluff)
Here, have some fluffy, with slight undertones of former angst Carstairs-Gray family at the beach fic!
(Yes, I might’ve been at a beach earlier - why not write what you know, right? 😊)
Days like these, Jem thought to himself, reminded him of the small pleasures of living that he had missed in all his long years as a Silent Brother.
Ahead of him the sky stretched out to the horizon, a band of descending, deepening blue as it met the sea. It was occasionally broken by a hint of white, as wave after wave crashed onto the shore.
The late afternoon sun was still hot, warming his exposed skin and turning the beach and surrounding cliffs into an open air, golden cathedral of light, almost too bright to look at directly.
Underneath his bare feet, he could feel the rough crunch of the sand and the broken shells left behind, and he dug his toes in, closing his eyes to truly feel the sensation.
Shutting down his sight heightened his other senses and he luxuriated in the subtle tang of the salt air and seaweed, with the fresh ocean breeze carrying hints of fried batter from the nearby fish and chips stand.
He could hear the cry of seagulls and the shouts of children as they ran up and down the long, unbroken spits of the beach, splashing in and out of tidal pools.
And he could hear -
“Jem.”
Her soft voice. He opened his eyes and turned to look at Tessa.
She lay on her stomach, stretched out on a faded towel, her finger holding her place in the paperback book she had brought. Her brown hair, with its lighter summer highlights, had loosened from her braid, and was curling around her face. She held up a hand, shading her gray eyes as she looked up at him.
Beyond her, Jem could see Kit sprawled on the sand, half on a towel, half off, his legs buried in sand, and paddle board thrown hastily aside, as he bent over his phone, his face a study of concentration. Near Kit’s feet, as her self-appointed protector, Mina’s bright orange UV tent stood, briefly swaying in the breeze. But its inhabitant was silent, still sleeping after having gone on a rampage of sand-castle stomping, the half-built remains still littered around them.
His family. Jem felt an indescribable feeling pass over him, like a wave on the sand, sweeping all traces away of his unwanted past memories and leaving only this.
“Jem-” he could feel Tessa’s hand reach out and stroke his arm, and he came back to himself. He leaned over and gave her a gentle kiss, tasting the salt on her lips and this close to her, noting the faint freckles on her nose. “Where did you go?” she asked.
He drew back but reached out for her hand, and she let him take it. “I’m- just taking it all in- ” he made a small nod at the scene in front of him. “Committing it to memory - I don’t want to take days like these for granted,” he said. “Days with my family.”
She smiled and in it, Jem could see the shadow of long days of loneliness that she had also endured, and knew she understood. Tessa’s fingers tightened on his but she just nodded. Together, they turned back to watch the setting sun, and enjoyed a brief, fleeting moment that would never happen again.
Other Carstairs-Gray/Herongraystairs fic:
Baby Group
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Note
What are your honest thoughts on each tsc main couple?
Jordelia: Jordelia is a lost cause for me, James reminds me of someone I don't like irl and thats why I can't make myself to like him, if that makes sense? Cordelia has all the characteristics that should make her a good character (and she is amazing) but the weird kinda adoration she has for James always throws me off. She has been in love with him for the longest time and I don't personally relate to that, I relate more to angst and the feeling of wanting something that you shouldn't, so I like fairstairs better. No.4
Clace: You know how your perception of a couple is damaged if you don't like either participants that much? Clace has never been one of my favorites, neither the characters nor the ship itself, because of that. Irather prefer Sizzy in TMI. It just wasn't it for me. I don't even care about the supposed "incest" that made so many readers cringe and not like it. It just doesn't make sense to me🤷‍♀️. So if I had to rank them, they would be no.3 ig?
Blackstairs: Blackstairs just gets me, man. Its is the perfect combination of angst, forbidden love and also has best friends to lovers (which is one of my favorite tropes). Like I said, I personally relate a lot to pining for someone that theoretically should like me but somehow doesn't. See it all comes back to personal experience lmao. No.2
Herongraystairs/ Wessa/ Jessa:
Do you know haw everyone has a book or a character that changed their life? A book which makes all others pale in comparison? Well this is it for me. Anyways, its just Herongraystairs for me, it can never be justWessa or Jessa because there isn't one without the other😭🥰. That shit always makes me cry so damn much but that doesn't measure up to the actual grief that I always experience when i reach the end. The series is a journey, with 3 people who love each other so damn much that they would do anything to save the others, the bonds that they forge, the bonds of love and trust and the impending realization of the death that follows them. And when something tragic (but expected) happens, I can't help but feel devastated with the others. I hold this series as something very close to my heart, because at this point, these are the characters that I'm made up of, a personality trait and i don't think ill ever let go of them. Did I phrase that right?😭😭
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modernpaw · 3 years
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Midnight Ride
Adam Sackler x Female Reader
Summary: You've been chatting with a guy you matched with on a dating app for two weeks now, and tonight is your first time meeting him in person.
Notes: This is not at all related to The One, the other piece I wrote about Sackler days earlier. For the purposes of this universe, let's pretend that sitting on the metal handlebar of a bicycle and going around New York late at night aren't dangerous. LOL. And just for added feels, this is the song that was responsible for this fic.
CW: A little bit of swearing, AFAB reader, awful cycling practices, but generally fluff
Words: 1.3k
It's been two years since you last went out on a date, but anyone looking at you now wouldn't be able to tell, not with the way you seem so comfortable talking to the man sitting across you.
Several weeks ago, you decided to finally reenter the dating scene, swiping left and right through New York's most eligible bachelors. To your unexpected delight, the pickings weren't as slim as you thought, and you ended up matching with several interesting men.
Adam happened to be one of them. His profile listed him as an actor, a detail that usually makes you a bit wary, considering that most actor types you know seem to be only interested in themselves, but there was something about him that made you reconsider.
His eyes had both an intensity and a vulnerability that made it hard for you to look away. And with that kind of connection just from the screen alone, you couldn't not give it a shot.
And you're so glad you did.
Adam is thoughtful and sweet, remembering details about you despite mentioning them only once and reminding you to take your vitamins. But he's also funny as hell and swears like the world is going to fucking end tomorrow.
After two weeks of constant messaging, you two agreed to meet up for dinner at a late-night diner along Madison.
The moment you strode in, the two of you locked eyes immediately. There was no mistaking Adam. His hair was just as long as it was in the photo, and when he stood up to greet you, you saw exactly what the 6"3 in his profile came with, and boy did you approve.
Fortunately, he didn't seem to notice your ogling, overshadowed as it was by the confusion of whether you two should go in for a hug, a kiss on the cheek, or a handshake. It should have been awkward, but then you laughed and gave him a bright smile, and just like that, the tension was broken.
You spent the first hour candidly talking about your respective expectations about how the other would look in real life, which somehow, led to you two exchanging photos of your younger selves over burgers and fries.
"You looked so cute with braces on!"
"Oh my god, Adam, your ears are so adorable!"
"Holy shhiiiiitttt, had you gone to prom with me in that, I never would have left you a virgin!"
"Adam!" you hissed, clamping his mouth with one hand while looking around frantically. You might have told him about your high school boyfriend backing out of having sex with you on the night of your high school prom, but that didn't mean you wanted the rest of the diner to know it, too.
"What," he replied innocently once you removed your hand. "I totally wouldn't!"
"Shut up!" you said, trying not to laugh as his declarations became more and more ridiculous. The rest of dinner went on in a similar vein, with Adam making you laugh and you trying not to choke on your food, and by the time you decide to get the bill, it's nearly midnight.
"I can't believe we've been talking for almost four hours!" you exclaim, looking at your watch.
"I can," he says boldly, eyes twinkling at you, like he's still in awe that you're real. And he is. From the moment you two connected on the app, Adam has found himself drawn to you. You're smart and funny, but not in a way that seems like you think yourself better than everyone else or self-destructive. You appear genuinely interested in him as a person, and so far, you don't seem to be put off by his "intense" disposition.
Whenever he talks to you, he feels like he wants to be on his best behavior, but also that he doesn't have to pretend to be anyone else, which he's well-aware is a complete oxymoron. Still, it's the only way he can put it.
He told Ray as much earlier this evening, and Ray just told him that maybe, just maybe, him being on this so-called best behavior is not too far from who he really is.
But Adam has no fucking clue who he is. After Hannah, after Jessa, after all the women he's been with, he feels like he's just beginning to get to know himself again. One thing he knows for sure, however, is that he likes himself when he talks to you.
And he doesn't want the night to end.
Neither do you.
You two are walking aimlessly down the street when Adam stops in his tracks and turns to you.
"Wanna go for a ride?" he asks.
"What?" you squawk.
Adam laughs at your reaction. "Not that kind of ride, kid," he says, and you realize that he's referring to the row of Citi bikes for rent on the curb.
You're not exactly embarrassed by your reaction, but his next words definitely fluster you.
"But maybe on our next date," he teases, wagging his eyebrows suggestively.
"Don't make promises you can't keep," you manage to toss back in reply before leaving him to inspect the bicycles at a closer range.
Adam shakes his head. "Okay, that's it," he says before wrapping his hands around your waist and picking you up from behind.
"Adam!" you yell out, giggling.
He swings you a few times before eventually helping you get on the metal handlebar of the bike. Your hands automatically hold on to the bar to keep yourself upright. "Keep that adorable tush right there," he murmurs as he gets on the bike seat behind you.
Then he starts pedalling.
It's not exactly easy to hold a conversation on a bicycle, but somehow, you two manage by taking turns asking each other short would-you-rather questions with absolutely no context.
"Elephants or koalas?" he asks.
"Elephants. They never forget," you answer. "Lions or tigers?"
"Lions," he says grimly. "Tigers will most certainly eat you on sight. Hero or villain?"
"I-Innocent bystander," you manage to say despite the laughter that's already bubbling so close to the surface. It turns into a full-on guffaw when he sputters comically behind your ear. "That's not even one of the choices, kid!"
"Well, the rules have changed!" you yell back when a cab honks loudly in the distance. "Gold or silver?"
"Glass," he replies, not willing to concede even though he has zero idea how to not lose. "Upstairs or downstairs?"
"Uh," you stutter, not expecting such a difficult one right away. "Sideways."
"Really?" he asks, his voice taking on a velvety quality. You don't know how to explain it, but you feel like Adam has just changed the rules right under your nose.
"You bet," you answer, soldiering on. "On or off?"
Adam laughs, and you try not to shiver at the hot puffs of breath that warm the back of your ear. "Oh, definitely off," he says.
"You're supposed to give me an answer that's not one of the choices," you say, trying to distract your thoughts from going down that road.
"I'm sorry," he says in a way that says he's definitely not sorry at all. "Fast or slow?"
Well, two can play that game. "Fast," you say, but before he can react, you add, "Like a fucking jackhammer."
"Ffffuck," he swears and he pedals a bit faster.
"Adam!" you cry out suddenly, afraid to lose your balance.
"Shit! Sorry!" he apologizes, gently slowing down to a stop. The Brooklyn Bridge is a good place to end the ride as any, and if you didn't know any better, you'd think that he planned this perfectly. You hop down from your seat and turn to face Adam who makes to dismount as well.
"Want to walk the rest of the way?" Adam asks you with a goofy smile.
You smile back. "Yeah, I'd like that."
As you stroll over the bridge side by side, Adam slowly inches his hand on the handlebar closer to yours and you reach out to do the same. You can't stop yourself from smiling, and you just know, even without looking, that he's got a smile on his face, too.
Tagging: @cornmousequeen, @fizzywoohoo, @paper-n-ashes, @morby
If you would like to be tagged in future adcu stories or only those for specific adcu characters (which I cannot promise will actually happen), let me know! :) Otherwise, thank you for reading!
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cassandraclare · 4 years
Text
Jessa/Wessa ship wars
teenagefunbouquet said:Isn't it enough Tessa&Jem got a wedding comic, two kids (and you say more), a lifetime as the only mates for each other and your most explicitly written sex scene After the Bridge? Wessa are the most popular and we get nothing, every wessa moment is shared with Jem while Jessa get to be alone, Wessa fans got no "anticipation" like jessa fans are getting now everyday you give them a book in jem's pov or a short story or a new kid. it feels like wessa is dead.
I’ll be interested in people’s thoughts on this. (I left the username as is since it’s a blank account, probably created to ask this question, so no one’s really getting hurt in this minor drama.) Most of my long and somewhat crabbish post is under the read more.
First, let me reply with the obvious, which is the Jessa rebuttal: “Isn’t it enough that Will gets to be Tessa’s first love and Jem only gets to be her second? Isn’t it enough that Will and Tessa had sex when they thought Jem was dead? Isn’t it enough that there’s a whole series about Will and Tessa’s kids but we only find out that Jem and Tessa had a kid in a short story? Isn’t enough that Jem and Tessa have spent half their relationship looking for a kid who’s related to Will, not either of them? Isn’t it enough that Will and Tessa got two biological kids they got to spend eighteen years raising and Jem and Tessa only get like two years with Kit? Jessa are the most popular, but half the stories in Ghosts of the Shadow Market happened while Will was still alive! And now Wessa fans are getting content every day and have two more books of Wessa being married and doing cute stuff to look forward to. Every day they’re getting a special edition of a book with a whole short story about their wedding. It feels like Jessa is dead.”
Not that I believe any of that either: I think both complaints are equally silly and selfish. But they are complaints rooted in the same logic, which is “My ship is the best and most popular, and every time I see something that in my mind supports the ship I hate I feel angry and diminished, and rather than perhaps examining those feelings I’d like to vent them on other fans and the creator.”
So. My feeling about this is: I am sad to see there is still some kind of a ship war here. As far as I am concerned...
the Wessa/Jessa ship war ended in 2012 when we found out Tessa loved both boys equally and would spend a lifetime with both of them. The end. Quibbling about irrelevant details like how many kids each couple has subsequently or examining closely the explicitness of their sex scenes seem bizarre and pointless. It has nothing to do with how books and stories are made, or how they work, or what functions they serve. At this point it’s like you decided your favorite football team could definitely beat another team, and you spend all your time obsessing about it even though they will never play against the other team because the other team is a hockey team.
When I see people say that “Wessa got” something or “Jessa got” something, it makes me cringe. It reduces stories that are about other things, often friendship, to being about a ship war I am not a part of. (Not every story or book in which a couple appears is a story about that ship. Sometimes they’re just grouting their shower or fighting a demon.) Wessa and Jessa are not dueling pop stars fighting over who gets to perform on the Tonight Show. In fact, they are not fighting at all, which is part of the underlying problem. People are used to love triangles where two guys are fighting over a girl and are jealous of each other. Will and Jem are not jealous of each other. They are not fighting over Tessa. To believe that it lessens Will and Tessa’s relationship that Jem is around and alive, or that it makes Jem and Tessa’s relationship better that Will is dead, is a fundamental misunderstanding of these characters and the story they are in. You are trying to shove a square peg into a round hole, and it will cause you endless misery and frustration.
For instance, claiming that “every Wessa moment is spent with Jem.” Well, that’s ridiculous. Obviously, Will and Tessa spent an enormous amount of quality time alone together in TID. (Otherwise, you would have no investment in this relationship in the first place. There’s a reason you’re attached to it.) Jem did not attend their wedding. He is around in Chain of Gold mostly in his role as a Silent Brother: tending the sick, helping James, bringing news. He is not around during the scene where Will and Tessa make love, or when they kiss and cuddle in the drawing room, grossing out their kids. (I had to fight very very hard to retain even one scene of Will and Tessa alone: in a normal YA book, you would never see a sex scene between the parents, from their point of view.)
The problem is not that there is no “Wessa content” to “anticipate.” The majority of Wessa fans are happy to enjoy stuff like the wedding story or the Wessa moments in TLH. The problem is that the person asking this question will only accept a TLH book in which Jem isn’t mentioned at all as “Wessa content,” and since that would be a fundamental and appalling betrayal of the story and characters — something I would never write and never consider — they will forever feel they are not getting what they deserve.
Asker: if you think that it’s somehow better for Jem and Tessa that Will is dead, that they “get” something that Will and Tessa don’t by having had something awful happen to them, then I do not even know how to begin to speak to you. What has always been meaningful to me about Will, Jem and Tessa is that they all loved each other equally. If that is not the case, then they are not people I am interested in writing about. If that being the case makes you not want to read about them, then you are free to stop — please do — but the story is not going to become something other than it is because you feel your ship is the “most popular.” (Which it is not in my experience, the ships are about equal, and I don’t know why it would matter if it was.)
In After the Bridge, which is not an explicit sex scene but rather a short story that contains sex (they exist!) Will is mentioned thirty-two times. Here’s an example:
“Jem swallowed, running his fingers up and down the blade. “He had only just died,” he said. She didn’t need to ask who he was. There was really only one He when it was the two of them speaking. “I was afraid. I saw what happened to the other Silent Brothers. I saw how they hardened over time, lost the people they had been. How as the people who loved them and who they loved died, they became less human. I was afraid that I would lose my ability to care. To know what this knife meant to Will and what Will meant to me.”
If you think Will isn’t present in Jem and Tessa’s relationship just because he’s dead, you’re wrong. He’s mentioned constantly. (And if someone thought that made it not Jessa content, I would have the same discussion with them: If Jem and Tessa didn’t care about Will, I wouldn't care about them.)
As long as there has been fandom, there have been ship wars. Social media has added a new dimension to that, which is what you’re doing here: the ability to run to the creator and complain, hoping they’ll side with you or give you what you want.
Here’s the problem: it’s really really toxic to have been involved in a clearly vicious ship battle for years. It will destroy utterly your ability to read or enjoy the canon you’re arguing about. I’ve been there, I’ve had friends be there. If you think it’s a point for Jem and Tessa that Will is dead, if you went into Last Hours thinking Jem wouldn’t be in it, that is a sign of a profound detachment from the actual reality of the canon books. You are not interacting with what I am writing or the characters as they are. You are interacting with the fight you are having. That is why your discourse has spun so far off from the books it no longer resembles what is actually happening in them, and demands such extreme gestures to be appeased — like leaving Jem out of Lost Book when he’s actually from the city the characters are visiting, or cutting him from Last Hours even though it would be unrealistic, cruel, and a disappointment to the vast majority of readers.
Dismissing every single moment Will and Tessa have together in TLH because Jem is alive somewhere and it’s bothering you is a recipe for you to be miserable. Clearly you didn’t enjoy the Wessa wedding, or the Will and Tessa love scenes in Chain of Gold. Clearly you consider Jem and Tessa having children not to be a reason for happiness but rather bitter rage even though it is totally irrelevant to Will and Tessa’s past relationship. The only thing that would be satisfactory would be a rewrite of Clockwork Princess in which Jem was run over by a tank and Will and Tessa didn’t care and were happy and got married and we never had to hear about Jem again. But because that would require time travel and a rewrite of Will and Tessa as vile assholes, that is not a thing you are going to get. If you are determined to always be miserable about the reality of what this story is, than the only result of that is that you will always be miserable.
There is never going to be a winner of this love triangle. It isn’t that story. No amount of anything I do is ever going to change that: no short stories I write, or content I produce, or books or sex scenes or longform poems about either couple will change the fact that both Will and Jem ended up with Tessa and she loves them equally. If you want a “somebody wins” kind of love triangle, there are other books that will provide that for you. These will never be those books.
So why did you write this long screed, Cassie, the rest of you might be wondering, and fairly. Three reasons. One is that there are other questions that are carbon copies of this one (as in, written by the same person/small group of people) cluttering up my inbox, and I want to put a stop to the idea that this kind of thing is going to be acknowledged as a valid comment or complaint. It’s not. Second, we have all been driven bananas by quarantine and I am no exception. The third is that this is the last time I am going to address this kind of ship-fight-disguised-as-question. Any further demands for me to favor one Tessa ship over another will be responded to with a link to this post. In the end I’m hoping this will be a time saver once we’re all allowed outside again.
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desiraypark · 3 years
Text
Ominous (2/2)
CHARACTERS: Adam Sackler x Brenda “Bree” Sackler x Jessa Johannson CONTENT: I’m sorry. PART ONE
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“Adam!”
Adam didn’t want to seem ungrateful, but fuck, he just wanted to get home. He wanted to catch a fucking cab, get home and shower, call Bree--maybe jack off--and go to bed. Having fans was great but having a nice apartment that he could walk around in with his balls out was even better. Adam heard his name and his 180 was almost complete when the voice registered. Among the ever-moving scatter of pedestrians--there she was. 
“Jessa?” 
She’d let her hair grow out again. The emerald green dress looked perfect on her, as did her signature red lipstick. She smiled and waved awkwardly, then walked toward him. He finally unplanted his feet, met her halfway, and gave her a hug.
“How are you?” he asked. 
“I’m great. Not as great as you, though--superstar!”
Adam blushed, tilted his head, and looked away from Jessa. Of course, in turning away, he was only greeted by a poster near the entrance of the Hudson Theatre--"Adam Sackler” in a large font on the glossy sheet. If he took a few steps back, he’d see his name on the theater’s marquee. Jessa began to dig in her purse.
“I actually wanted to come last night, but I figured things would be too hectic for you to stop and chat with an old friend.”
She found her pack of cigarettes and a lighter.
Adam looked past the top of Jessa’s head, not wanting to be tempted by the smell of tobacco and nicotine. “Yeah, it was pretty busy last night. Nothing abnormal.” His eyes returned to hers. “But I still would have spoken to you.”
Jessa blew a puff of smoke and chuckled. “Would your wife have been okay with that?”
Air left Adam’s nostrils in a scoff. He looked Jessa square in the eyes and shook his head. “You don’t even know her.”
Jessa placed her free hand on her hip and rolled her eyes. “It was a joke, Adam. Don’t be such a curmudgeon.”
"Well, she would have been happy to meet you. So...” 
“That’s good to know,” Jessa said, slightly bowing her head. “I suppose you’re ready to get home to her.”
Adam chewed on the interior of his lip. His eyes scanned the street--looking beyond the heads moving along the sidewalks. “Yeah...”
Jessa nodded and leaned forward in a slight lunge. She looked Adam in the eyes. “I’m very proud of you. Happy for you. And, I’m sorry for how things ended between us.”
Adam shrugged. “Well, I haven’t been holding any grudges. Have you?”
Jessa’s eyes narrowed and she blew more smoke into the air. “No. No, I haven’t.”
The diverse sounds of footsteps filled the air. The wheels of vehicles squeaked to slow stops. Adam and Jessa became reluctant to look at each other. 
“Do you want to grab a cup of coffee?” Jessa asked. 
He looked into Jessa’s eyes, and for the first time in past couple of minutes, he noticed loneliness in them. Melancholy. A sad story she’d been writing for about five years. Again, he looked away. But he nodded. 
“Sure.”
~~~~~~
Adam had made numerous bad decisions the entire night--saying ‘yes’ to a cup of coffee. Then, ‘yes’ to another cup with a pastry. Jessa was lonely these days--and he wasn’t. Guilt nipped at his heart. 
Maybe they could be friends again, however. She looked like she needed one. 
He’d said ‘yes’ to a short walk--and ‘yes’ to continuing the walk to his fancy apartment--a far cry from the apartment they once shared. He’d made the mistake of ignoring Bree’s call. It was just one call. 
And he’d made the mistake of holding Jessa’s hand to assure her that she would be okay. That she would find love and drive again. He made the mistake of gazing into her eyes once more.
~~~~~~
Adam washed the bedding twice the next morning--a Thursday--making sure to add a few drops of Bree’s lemon oil inside. He called Bree to apologize for missing her call. He spent Saturday cleaning the apartment more than it needed to be clean--sweeping a dustless floor, vacuuming the pristine carpeting. The fridge was full, but still, he bought some of Bree’s favorite things: ice cream, Bruce Cost Ginger Ale, and three packs of Ghirardelli chocolate squares. It was Sunday afternoon when she touched down in New York.
The North Carolina sun had been good to her--adding a glow to her skin. He caught her big smile and he saw it quickly disappear. His brain told him to rush to her and take her in his arms, but his feet wouldn’t move. She noticed. And he knew that she noticed. Suddenly, Adam felt like he didn’t deserve her. 
But he had to prove to himself that he did. She could never know what he’d done...
Even when he’d managed to do it two more times. 
~~~~~~
THE SUNDAY AFTERNOON IN AUGUST
For a brief second, his dick hardened at the sound of Jessa’s name rolling off his own lips--still fresh from three nights before, the second and last time. But immediately, he fell limp inside of his wife. His eyes met her face, frozen and horrified. Her breasts rested near the sides of her chest--nipples rising up and down with her deep breaths. 
“I knew it...” she mumbled. “I fucking knew it!” 
Bree climbed from Adam’s lap and rushed away from bed. He remained in his spot, frozen and guilty. Bree shook her head and fought back tears. 
“Who the fuck is Jessa?”
Unable to look at Bree, Adam stared at his feet and listened to his own breath. “My ex.”
The sounds of New York City spilled into the Sacklers’ bedroom, overpowering the couple’s audible breaths. 
“I’m sorry,” Adam mumbled. Finally, he looked up Bree’s face. She shook her head, and snatched her robe from the back of the door and rushed out of the bedroom. 
Adam couldn’t afford to keep his feet planted this time. He jumped out of the bed with a sheet tied around his waist and followed Bree into the kitchen. Right away, she went for the cabinet and pulled out a bottle of bourbon that she kept tucked away. Cheap bourbon for her culinary experiments. Bourbon that she hid from Adam. Bourbon whose hiding spots she frequently changed because she loved him so much. 
Before she got the cap off, Adam wrapped his arms around her and crushed her with his body. “I’m sorry, honey. I’m sorry...”
“Get off of me!” she demanded--her voice soft, but low with a slight rumble. Adam obliged and was thanked with a slap to the face. Tears welled in his eyes--not because of the sting on his cheek, but the sting in his heart. 
He didn’t raise his voice at Bree, and she didn’t raise hers at him. Adam and Bree didn’t throw things at each other or scream “fuck you’s” across the room. He found peace in Bree--Brenda, his wife, his partner. Now, they would no longer know peace. And it was all his doing.
Bree had shocked herself. But Adam’s tears enraged her. How dare he let a tear fall? She drew back her hand with the plastic bottle still tucked in her palm, but Adam grabbed her wrists and held her against the counter--the counter that had been marked three times with their cum and sweat: when they first moved in, when Adam was nominated for a Tony, and when Bree returned from a week in North Carolina.
“Stop...” Adam whispered--the veins pulsing in his fingers as he held Bree’s wrists tight.
Bree looked up at him again. Guilt painted his silent face--and it had since May. It had coated his voice the morning after he ignored her phone call that night. He didn’t put a mask on--that guilt had been there for months. And suddenly, Bree hated herself. She hated herself for not identifying the guilt right away. 
She sank to her knees and sobbed. Adam fell with her and pulled her into his arms--the sheet had long abandoned his hips, leaving Adam bare and flaccid to Bree.
“I’m sorry. I don’t have any excuse, babe. It’ll never happen again. I’m so sorry...”
Bree’s shoulders bounced as Adam’s chest absorbed her tears. She stared into the dining room--the table, chairs, and painting looked wavy behind the coating of the salty water in her eyes. 
She didn’t know this Jessa. She didn’t know what she looked like. But now, despite her clouded vision, she saw her sitting at her dining table--certain to stare back at her until divorce and/or death did her and Adam part.
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thechangeling · 3 years
Text
Say my name or I won't survive
This is an extension of my headcannon for non binary Kit. He uses he/they pronouns. Kit comes out to Jessa as nonbinary.
Tw: mentions of transphobia/enbyphobia
A lot had happened since that conversation with Magnus. Kit usually didn't like to make a habit out of breaking down in people's arms. But it had become clear in that moment that they needed to talk to someone. That they needed to face the things they had been pushing down, trying to avoid.
Kit was currently standing in front of the mirror in his bedroom. Magnus had let them take some clothes that had been magically altered to fit Kit. Just so he could experiment with wearing them.
So far he hadn't made it out of his room wearing a dress or a skirt, but Kit was trying to take baby steps. Well mostly they were just scared. Scared of what Jem and Tessa would say.
Scared of what everyone would say. Like what if he was just making everything up? Or maybe he was just confused? Shadowhunters were big on tradition. Asking people to use different pronouns for Kit and stop using his full name might be a challenge for some people.
Like Jace, their brain supplied.
Kit stared at their reflection on the mirror. Magnus had started teaching them how to apply makeup and experiment with it. Kit confessed that when they were younger they used to steal eyeliner and lipstick from drug stores and put it on when Johnny was otherwise occupied. Kit was still no where near Magnus's level of talent but they were pretty good.
Kit had done simple makeup today, not looking for anything too crazy, just a little mascara to make his eyes pop and concealer to cover his light bruising from training. He hadn't wanted to look too girly during this conversation, he figured it was better to ease Tessa and Jem into this whole thing.
Also Kit didn't always feel like looking too girly, even though as Magnus constantly reminded them, clothes and makeup didnt have a gender. They liked playing around with different concepts, different styles. The societal ideas of femininity and masculinity were just that, ideas. There were no real rules, not when Kit stopped playing the game.
They stared at themself in the vanity mirror, trying to think of exactly what Kit was going to say to Jem and Tessa. Just saying the words, "I'm nonbinary" didn't seem good enough. They felt like they needed to give a proper explanation of their feelings and experiences or else they would be accused of faking it.
The urge to prove ones validly, the need to make sure people knew he was real and he wasnt crazy, it was more importent then anything. It was infuriating. Knowing that his experiences could be so easily dismissed as delusional feelings.
Not trans enough. Not cis enough. Not gay enough. Not straight enough. Kit's mere existence was a controversy on it's own. It was exhausting enough to make Kit want to abandon the whole idea of coming out again all together. Maybe it was easier just to smile and nod everytime someone misgendered them. Ignore the clenching of their stomach and the punch to the chest that came with it.
Smile and nod and be the man he was meant to be. But he had been doing that for 18 years and he couldn't survive it much longer. Kit needed to come out. People needed to acknowledge his reality and use the proper pronouns for him.
Or else Kit was going to wither away, shrivel up into something unrecognizable. A shell of their former self. They were going to die if they had to hear "Christopher" one more time.
The only time it was tolerable was when Ty said it. Kit could almost pretend that he could be the person Ty thought he was, if it would make Ty happy. He used to think that he could let himself wither away and die as long as Ty was ok. As long as Ty was safe and happy.
But that wasnt ok. That wasnt fair. Kit deserved to be safe and happy as well. One of the things they had learned with Jem and Tessa was that Kit deserved to put themself first sometimes. Kit deserved good things despite what Johnny Rook had made them believe. Kit wanted Ty to be ok. They wanted Ty in general.
But Kit needed this.
He took a deep breath and exited his room, heading downstairs to the kitchen where Jem was cooking breakfast and Tessa was trying to get Mina to settle down. Everyone looked up as soon as Kit entered the room.
"Kitty!!!" Mina screamed excitedly, waving her arms around. Tessa shushed her fondly, scolding her for yelling.
"Good morning Christopher," Jem said with kind a smile. "How did you sleep?"
Kit tried to ignore the way their stomach clenched at the sound of their birth name. Dead name, their brain supplied. They needed to tell Tessa and Jem. Kit slid into a nearby chair with a heavy sigh.
"I need to talk to you guys about something," he muttered, trying not to sound too nervous or dejected. Tessa and Jem shared a worried glance.
"Is everything alright Kit?" Tessa asked sparing Mina a glance, probably wondering if she should be removing her from this conversation. Kit shut his eyes briefly and took a breath.
"Yeah I hope so. I just need to tell you something," Kit ran their fingers through their curls. Jem and Tessa watched them, waiting patiently. Kit tried to ignore the shakiness of their breath and the way their palms.
"Here's the thing," Kit began. "You might not get it but I need to ask you to respect it ok?
He didn't wait for their responses. "I'm nonbinary. Which basically means that I'm neither male nor female. I'm something else, something seperate. I don't know I guess I just think of myself as a person who doesn't really have much of a gender," he was staring at the tabletop refusing to make eye contact. "It's just sort of like, if you think of the colour spectrum as gender, I would be a blurry watercolour. A mixture if all kinds of different things and sometimes some colours are more vibrant then others. And then sometimes it's just gray."
Kit wasnt sure if any of this was really making any sense but they knew they had to try. Jem and Tessa were both still silent. Mina was happily chomping down on her breakfast and ignoring all of them. Kit took this as a sign to continue.
"I don't exactly know why I'm like this or how I know. But maybe there are some things that you just can't explain. You just know. Like I know that the sun will set and then rise again tommorow and I know that I love you guys," Kit voice faltered at the last part. He looked up at Tessa and Jem, panicked over seeing their reactions.
But they were both just staring at Kit with huge, loving smiles on their faces. Kit's breathing slowly began to return to normal but their hands were still shaking. Tessa csne towards them slowly, grasping Kit's hand in hers.
"Baby it's ok," she cooed. "You have nothing to be ashamed of. It's just like we told you when you first came out as bisexual, we will always love you no matter what." Jem nodded.
"I have admit this whole thing is rather fascinating," Jem chimed in with a smile. "I've never heard the term before." Kit fought the urge to remind him that two weeks ago he had never heard of playstation, but decided against it.
Mina was paying attention to them now and she was smiling at Kit. "No bany!" She cried excitedly. Kit couldn't help it, he through his head back and laughed. Mina scowled at him slightly. "Not quite Min-Min," Kit told her playfully.
"Do you have different pronouns that you would like us to use?" Tessa asked. Kit's heart fluttered at the question. They didn't actually think either Tessa or Jem would think to ask.
Kit cleared their throat. "Yeah do you think you guys could use alternating he/they pronouns for me? Like use he in one sentence and then use they?" Kit instantly felt kind of guilty for complicating things further. "I'm sorry I know that's kind of confusing."
Jem shook his head, "no it's fine! We just want you to feel comfortable." Tessa nodded in agreement. "Is there anything else?" Kit pulled Mina's hands off of their shirt. She had begun to tug and pull out of boredom.
Kit nodded. "Yeah do you think you could stop calling me Christopher please?" He hoped he didn't sound to harsh. There was something so guilt inducing about having to ask for these things. It felt like Kit was making unneccessary demands. But he wasn't. He had every right to.
Jem instantly looked sheepish. "I'm so sorry Kit," he said softly. Tessa looked guilty too. Kit shook their head.
"Its ok. You didn't know. Just don't do it anymore ok?" Kit felt significantly lighter, like a giant weight had been lifted off of their shoulders. They slid out of their stool to walk around to the other side of the kitchen island and hug both Jem and Tessa.
Kit knew it wouldn't always be this easy. He knew that this life would be complicated and difficult, but it would also be full of exploration and freedom.
Kit would always have a place he belonged.
"I am also a we."
- Sense 8
Tag list you know the drill, let me know if you want on or off: @scrat-is-god @playwithravenclaw @lavender-scented-rat @knifescythe @ti-bae-rius @dianasarrow @doitforthecarstairs @jazzkaurtheglorious @waterlillies @zfoxdraws @julieandthefandoms @older-brother-kit @ilikebooks8 @nott-the-best @stxr-thxif @magnus-the-fabulous-entp-bane @autumnangel20 @hufflepuffyskam
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