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#and made me want to get throwing knives
twicethetrouble · 2 years
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I just had to look up how to flirt for a stupid, short fanfic. That is the most awkward research I've done thus far. I’m too ace for this.
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angelltheninth · 7 months
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Arthur Morgan Teaches You How to Ride Him
Pairing: Arthur Morgan x Fem!Reader
Tags: nsfw, smut, dick riding, guidance, encouragement, inexperience, age-gap
A/N: Can we all agree that he is the hottest cowboy dilf?
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"You wanna sit on there nice and slow sweetheart. Know you're eager for it but don't hurt yourself now." That was funny coming from the man who was just in a bar fight. You can still see the bruising on his knuckles and see where his lip was split. "Did seeing me fight do it for you? So wet down there, I'm thinking it just might've."
"It's not the fight I promise you." Maybe a little but more of it was Arthur's charm and boldness. And how delicately he treated you. Sure you knew he could give you a rough pounding, enough to potentially break the bed but he was set on teaching you something new today.
Today was a riding lesson. Dick riding to be exact.
You tried to take him in right away, which proved a little painful even with how slick you were. You balanced yourself on your knees above his hips, your pussy touching the red tip of his cock, hands on his chest, feeling the chest hair and the scars from knives and bullets. This sounded much easier then it proved to be when he suggested it.
"I might not be as young as I used to be but I'll still throw my fists for a pretty young lady's honor." Arthur wanted to protect you as much as he wanted to corrupt your mind with all sorts of sinful ideas, such as meeting him night after night, sneaking out just to fuck him, "Besides I reckon none of those wannabe tough guys back there could teach you half the things I know. Ain't that right baby?" His hands pushed you down with the right amount that you felt the pressure, but not enough to bruise as the cockhead pushed just past your entrance. "There we go, right where my cock should be. Now I want you to start rolling your hips downwards, slowly, until you're able to fit the whole thing inside there."
Your hips started moving, breath hitching with every inch of his cock that you managed to take. You've taken it plenty of times in the past but you were never the one on top, and even with this newfound control you had over the movements you thought it better to listen to Arthur's advice then take him all at once. Instead on the feeling of lust you focused on how his cock stretched you open more and more, causing you to tighten and release around him, looking at his smile which grew wider and wider until settling on a permanent grin when you took his whole length.
"Atta girl." With his feet firmly planted on the bed Arthur folded his arms behind his head to enjoy himself to the fullest. "Gotta say I'm real comfy like this."
"Yeah? Am I making you feel good, Arthur?" A big, satisfied smile split across your face. Your hips were still touching him when you tried wiggling around a bit, feeling every inch of his twitching cock, perfectly angled to hit your deepest spots, "Can you tell how good you make me feel too?"
"I'd be worried if I didn't. You're gonna need to go up slowly, repeat the sliding until it goes in smoothly for you, then you can start to pick up the pace. Be sure to keep your balance too, because sometimes," He pushed his hips upwards, making you moan his name along with a deep whimper, "you might get yourself a surprise or two."
Nodding you let his body settle back down and you on top of him again, filled with his cock and the new found confidence that you could make him feel just as good as he made you feel.
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avelera · 7 months
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Man, there’s all these little beats in OFMD S2 1-3 where people keep EXPECTING Stede to be upset or horrified about Ed’s actions and then he’s just. Not. In a way that reminded me of how a lot of fanon kept softening Stede into someone who doesn’t swear and is horrified at Ed for setting those ships on fire when imo to my eyes he was horrified for Ed because Ed was still so clearly distressed about it.
- Zheng Yi Sao asks Stede how he’s doing now that he knows Ed did horrible things to his crew and there’s this beat and Stede just pivots to, oh yeah, sometimes Ed is troubled. Like it didn’t occur to him to be upset on the crew’s behalf he’s worried about Ed.
- Izzy keeps trying to spare Stede’s feelings and cover up Ed’s spiral, but Stede clocked what was going on with Ed immediately and wasn’t the least bit intimidated or bothered. The knives brought the room together. Of course Ed’s trying to burn the world down or die trying. Duh. And I genuinely don’t think the STUFF in the Revenge mattered even a fraction to Stede as much as the signs of Ed’s breakdown broke his heart. It’s just STUFF, who cares.
- Lucius had to SPECIFICALLY call out Stede for not being surprised or bothered by what happened to him. What Ed did. Stede has to almost consciously remind himself to express polite concern. He just doesn’t actually care, instinctively or automatically, about what happened to Lucius. Part of it is he blames himself more than Ed. Part of it is he just doesn’t care, Ed is the priority.
They’re little blink and you’ll miss it pauses in some cases. Micro-expressions. The absence of a reaction. But honestly, I will scream it to the end of time, Stede is not some nonviolent creampuff scared or upset by Ed’s evil ways. He wants to join Ed in the atrocities. The man ran away to become a pirate. He asked if Lucius was taking notes during a murderous raid.
Stede’s at least a little on some kind of whackadoodle pirate comedy neurodivergence spectrum to the point where he actually really actually struggles to empathize with people, even people he cares about!, if their feelings conflict with his hyperfixation (piracy) and the love of his life (Ed Teach). He’s always, ALWAYS going to pick Ed over Lucius or Izzy or his crew or even his own feelings, if the option is there. He will literally throw himself overboard to get to Ed’s side. No pause. No consideration of anyone else or even his own safety.
Stede sometimes seems to have to consciously remind himself things like, oh yeah, the crew, I need to see to them. Not because he’s heartless or doesn’t care, but because it takes a bit of conscious effort for him to see beyond the laser-focused spotlight of what and who he does care most about, he has to remind himself of social niceties and other people’s feelings (just see him running away in the first place!) when he gets an idea in his head. It’s as if he had to train himself to consciously care about some things other people care about and as a neurodivergent person myself, that felt very familiar in a comedically writ large sort of way. I’d even argue that’s where all his aristocratic social niceties come from. They were his guidebook for how to do things “right” in a world that otherwise made no sense to him outside his hyperfixations. He practiced being a person through the aristocratic training because it was all so foreign to him from the start, including caring, actually caring, about the needs of others. Not because he’s consciously evil or consciously a jerk. The instinct just isn’t there unless he practices at it until it becomes reflex to ask how others are doing, because on his own his brain just doesn’t really notice or care.
I just… hope the fandom notes and has as much FUN as I do noticing all the little moments where even people inside the story of OFMD expect Stede to act in a normal way and instead he remains unhinged, laser-focused on Ed.
Stede’s not just an Ed apologist, he truly doesn’t blame Ed for any of it. He blames only himself. He doesn’t always voice this but he really really only cares about anyone else including the crew as a DISTANT second and he has to consciously REMIND himself to do so. He is able to rally to take action, to care about their physical needs like safety during the rescue, but he still struggles, deeply struggles, to remember to show empathy in a non-performative way for anyone except his special person, Ed.
Stede’s not a creampuff, not a nice guy, not some emotionally or morally perfect angel. He has to consciously practice caring about literally anything else but what he wants to do and his special person. And to me that’s a thousand times more interesting than shoving him in a box labeled “the blond, pacifist do-gooder good guy” in their relationship.
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rileyslibrary · 2 months
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Okay okay but hear me out- reader gets assigned on their first solo mission by Price and Ghost is inwardly concerned for them and keeps subtly giving tips to reader about the basics of any mission as way to prepare them
Hi, anon and thank you for requesting this! I made some minor adjustments to the original idea since I got lost in the process once I began writing. Reader is also fully aware of Ghost’s concerns and messes with him.
Fluffy, the usual banter, an emotionally constipated Ghost, yada yada. Enjoy!
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“Again,” Ghost murmurs as he shuffles through the row of tactical knives on the table. He decides on one, picks it up and walks towards you. “What is this?” He asks.
You look up from tying the laces of your boots and redirect your attention at him. He either believes you’re an idiot or doesn’t trust you enough. Either way, it’s not a good sign.
“Good question, Lieutenant,” you reply. “What you’re holding in your hands is a knife. Knives were one of the earliest tools used by humanity to-”
“Cut it out.”
“That’s correct!” you exclaim. “You mainly use one of those to cut stuff.”
A long sigh escapes him, and he throws his head up. He lowers the knife and walks towards the table, scratching the back of his balaclava with the other hand. He takes a few breaths, turns around and lifts the knife again.
“That’s not what I’m asking, and you know it.” He growls. “What kind of knife is it?”
“A sharp one.”
“Stop it.”
“You mean stab it?” you ask and continue tying your laces. “Yes. Yes, you can definitely stab with it.”
He throws the knife onto the table and leans on a chair, holding it with both hands. His brows are tied together, and you can see his jaw tightening beneath the balaclava.
“I need you to focus.” He says firmly. “This is not the right time for jokes.”
You stand up and walk towards him, now standing by his side. You grab his shoulder and squeeze it. He doesn’t budge, yet he slowly shakes his head.
“You’re worried.” You state.
“I’m not worried.” He replies. “I don’t know what Price was thinking; the stakes are too high for this to be your first solo mission.”
“So you don’t trust me.”
“Of course I trust you.” He says and lets go of the chair. “It’s just too dangerous for you to go alone.”
“So you are worried.” You whisper with a smirk.
He looks at you with the side of his eye and picks up a map from the table. He spreads it out in front of him.
“Alright,” he says, “let’s go over the route again.”
“Got it,” you nod. “So, what’s the plan?”
“What do you mean, ‘what’s the plan?’” He shouts, turning to look at you with wide eyes. “We’ve been through this-”
“-a hundred times now.” You interrupt. “Yet you still want to go over it again and again and again and again.”
“I just need you to be ready.”
“I am ready!”
“Then go on,” he says, pushing the map towards you, “what’s the plan?”
“Alright,” you begin, pointing to a door on the eastern side of the facility. “I’ll start here, at the service entrance. It’s not heavily guarded since they mainly use it for their occasional smoke breaks.”
“But you’ll still need to be cautious,” He adds.
You ignore his remark and continue to outline the route.
“From there,” you say, moving your finger along a series of corridors, “I’ll make my way through the maintenance tunnels. They’re narrow and dark but should provide good cover from security patrols.”
“And when you reach the central hub,” Ghost continues, pointing to a large room at the heart of the facility, “you’ll need to be especially careful since that’s where the security is the tightest. There’s only one entry point, so once you get to this door you should-”
“Knock.”
He slowly turns towards you and gives you a side-eye. “You’re not taking this seriously,” he whispers.
“On the contrary, Lieutenant,” you jest. “I’m deadly serious.”
“Deadly serious?” he scoffs and shakes his head. “You might end up seriously dead if you don’t pay attention.”
You roll your eyes and let out a sigh.
“When I get close to that door,” you say, pointing at the map, “I’ll wait for Soap and Gaz to manipulate the security systems and set off the alarms. Once the commotion is at its highest, I’ll infiltrate the hub, collect the intel, and escape through the ventilation shafts.”
“Right,” he says and folds the map. “Do you have everything you need?”
You turn your attention to yourself, checking your tactical vest, and he does the same. His eyes scan over every piece of equipment on you. He walks around you, tracing his fingers along the edges of your gear, checking for any signs of damage. He reaches out to adjust a loose strap on your vest, ensuring it’s securely fastened.
“You need to make sure everything is secure,” he says as he continues to search each pocket and pouch on you, ensuring that your supplies are well-stocked and easily accessible. “We can’t risk losing any essential gear during the mission.”
You follow him with your eyes and smirk as he inspects you. “Is that what worries you?” You ask. “Losing gear?”
He pauses for a second and meets your eyes. “You know what I mean,” he says as he tightens a buckle on your waist. He takes a few steps back and nods. “Everything looks good,” he concludes.
“Alright,” you nod back and walk towards the door. “Let’s do this.”
“Stay sharp out there!” he shouts.
“Yeah, yeah,” You shout back as you exit the briefing room, “sharp like a knife!”
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marvelfilth · 3 months
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The mustache
Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x f!reader
Warnings: none
Summary: Natasha crashes your date
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You let a fake laugh bubble out of your mouth for what feels like a hundredth time this evening. Your date looks smug, her eyes trailing over your form, almost leering. She takes a sip of her wine and licks her lips slowly, daring you to look.
You don't.
You can almost hear Natasha say I told you so.
You clear your throat and take another bite of a perfectly made steak - the only saving grace of this disastrous date.
You mentally cringe, closing your eyes briefly. Objectively, the date is going well - she showed up on time, held the door for you, helped you to your seat and made perfect small talk, occasionally throwing in a joke or two. You can excuse her wandering eyes, knowing you've been throwing mixed signals all evening.
You nod along to whatever story she's telling, smiling and chuckling when it's appropriate. You barely resist the urge to excuse yourself. You chew on your lower lip, wondering how you allowed yourself to get in such a mess.
Your phone chimes once, screen lightning up with a new notification.
Natasha.
Yep. Here's your answer.
You look at your date, hating how different her smile is from your best friends. It's too large, too open and not even half as genuine. Natasha's smiles are small, barely noticeable, but they're enough to make your breath come short.
You sigh. You need to stop comparing your every date to Natasha.
“Do you mind if I take a look? It might be important,” you ask, reaching for your phone. She nods happily, waving the waiter over for another glass of wine.
How bad is it?
You snort, coughing immediately to cover up the sound and reaching for your glass.
Another message appears right in front of your eyes.
That bad?
You choke on your wine, discreetly looking around, but coming up short.
Six o'clock, dumbass.
You wait a moment and look right behind you, mouth falling open when you finally see her.
She's sitting three tables down, wearing your favorite hoodie and a black cap. With sunglasses covering her eyes. In a dimly lit restaurant. What makes you let out a strangled laugh, though, is a perfect old fashioned mustache glued right under her nose. She twirls both ends around her fingers, curling them up, before lowering her glasses and sending you an exaggerated wink.
The best spy in the world, the woman who made entire governments collapse, is sitting right behind you, looking like a child playing dress up.
You whip around, your face red, and wave off your date's concerned look. “I'm alright.”
She nods, all too happy to continue talking about all of the famous people she's met through her job.
You hide your phone under the table and shoot your best friend a text.
You're ridiculous
Her reply comes instantly.
And yet you love me.
Her words hit a little too close to home.
You are hopelessly in love with your best friend.
Another message comes through.
What's wrong?
You frown, eyes darting around. You didn't even do anything to warrant the question.
And don't even try to lie. I can tell something's wrong.
You sigh, tell Natasha everything is fine, and place your phone face down on the table, your date still recounting a story of how she met some actress.
The next half an hour is tense. You can feel Natasha's eyes on you. You can hear her plotting a way to get you out of here, but you know you have to at least try to make it work, if not with… Connie? Courtney? Then with someone else, before you go completely mad.
Your phone rings. You can't stop yourself from picking it up.
“Sorry, it’s an emergency.” Your excuse sounds bad even to your own ears, and you wince when your date pointedly looks away with pursed lips.
“Do you want me to throw her out of the window?” She starts without a preamble. “If not, I have a knife in my boot and you know how good I am with knives.”
“Can't you handle it without me?” You ask, knowing Natasha will play along. Your date reaches for her purse, dejected. Guilt swirls in your chest, and you contemplate your next words. Maybe you should stay and-
“Don't feel bad, she's been looking at the blonde to your right since she came in,” Natasha drawls, “and no, I can't handle it without you. I need you back home.”
You blush, biting on your lower lip.
“I'm sorry, but there's been an-”
“Just go,” your date cuts you off, “I'll handle the bill.” Her eyes are on the blonde girl before she's done speaking, and you leave with your conscience clear.
Natasha catches up to you outside and leads you to her corvette - her sunglasses and cap are gone, but that ridiculous mustache is still in place.
“What do you think?” She asks as she opens the door for you before going around the car and taking a seat behind the wheel. “I like the look.”
You snort and shake your head, amused with your best friend's antics. “It's… something.”
She rolls her eyes, starting the engine. “I know you love it.”
You hum, relaxing against the soft leather, your worries stoved away by Natasha's calming presence.
“Why do you keep going on dates if you hate it so much?” She asks when you reach Compound gates.
You sigh, think of an answer that would get her off your back without making her suspicious.
“I just… I-” you stutter, wincing.
Great.
She raises an eyebrow, looking absolutely ridiculous, but so, so beautiful, it makes your entire chest ache.
The car comes to a stop, and Natasha focuses all of her attention on you.
“I need to get over someone.”
There, you've said it.
“Who?” She asks, and for the first time in all the years you've known her you can't read her at all.
“You don't know them.”
She looks ahead, her jaw clenched tight. “How long?”
You blink away the tears. “A few years.”
She looks down at her lap, her fingers tapping against her thigh. “Who?” She asks again.
“Natasha…”
“Is it Carol?” Her voice is tight, her eyes dart around the street.
“God no,” you chuckle, thinking about your blond friend. Valkyrie would kill you on the spot if you even looked at her the wrong way, not that you're interested anyway. They need to get over themselves and finally admit their feelings to each other. Anyone can see their pining from a mile away.
“Kate?”
You shake your head. “You don't know them.”
“Then tell me. What would it matter?”
“Nat, can we just-”
“Tell me.”
You groan, and turn to open the door, but Natasha’s hand landing on your thigh stops you. You swallow, freezing on the spot.
“Please.”
You close your eyes, bracing yourself for the inevitable. “It's you,” you whisper.
The hand on your thigh clumps tight. “What?”
“It's you,” you repeat, feeling braver after the admission. “Always you.”
She lets out a deep, shaky breath, before reaching for your face with her other hand. “Look at me, please.”
You face her, eyes still closed, a few tears sliding down your cheeks. They're wiped away a moment later, and your face gets enveloped in the softest warmth.
“Open your eyes.”
You swallow, and do as she asked. She looks at you like you're the most precious thing in the world.
“I love you.”
Your heart skips a beat at her words, lips falling open. “What?”
She smiles, her thumb tracing patterns on your wet cheek. “I love you.”
You look at her for a long moment, taking in her features - her forest green eyes, tender and soft, the slope of her nose, so kissable. Your eyes trail lower and then suddenly a loud laugh makes its way out of your chest. You bend, clutching your stomach, happy tears gathering in the corners of your eyes.
Natasha looks delightfully confused.
“I'm sorry, it's just…” you giggle, pointing at her face, “the mustache.”
She groans, tearing it away. “I've been going crazy all this time, you know.”
“Yeah?” You grin, head spinning.
“Yeah,” she says before claiming your lips. She's soft, so soft it makes your toes curl and your chest get warm and fuzzy. The kiss is gentle, loving. You mewl against her, opening your mouth and welcoming her tongue.
The kiss grows heated.
“I,” you gasp between the kisses, “I love you. So much.”
You can feel her blinding smile in the next kiss, and the one that comes after.
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bettysupremacy · 5 months
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idk if you write for finnick.. but could you write something where it’s the beginning of the quarter quell and he can’t find her? Just pure panic as he runs around the cornucopia?
I’ve never written for him before but I love him! idk how I feel about this but I hope truly that u like it.
Icy hot terror is all Finnick feels when the timer hits one. Loud and disorienting, the bang ripples against the water in vibrations that rumble under his feet.
Where are you?
The sun blares disgustingly into his eyes and skin, an obvious manipulation of the gamemakers sick amusement, but he ignores it, plunging into the only water he’s ever dreaded to tread. You’re not in sight. He’d told you to stay away, to swim, to run as far away from the cornucopia as you could. Don’t risk it, he’d shaken your shoulders, listen to me I’ll find you.
The water is warm and gross against his skin. It’s not as refreshing as the district four that he’s familiar with. It’s hot and fake. He comes up gasping for air, letting the terror settle into his bones as he pushes against the current of a manipulated riptide. Katniss climbs the stone so he does too; pushing his feet deeper into the ground with every step he takes. His breathing is labored, jagged as he runs. He can’t find you, but he will. He can’t find you, but he can find a weapon.
The cornucopia glistens in the sun, never lacking the weaponry he’d expected from it. Bows, arrows, knives, he eyes a backpack stuffed with supplies. Could he lug it with him? Probably not. He diverts his eyes to the trident beside him. Perched in its stand, it gleams in artificial sun as the grip molds to his fingers. He squeezes the deadly lifeline.
The sound of metal on metal scrapes behind him. Katniss. He turns quick, flashing the bangle around his wrist tauntingly. “Good thing we’re allies, right?”
She breathes hard in front of him, eyebrows pulling as she pauses in bated confusion. The weapon doesn’t lower. “Where did you get that?”
“Where do you think?” He gravels, quick enough to be considered panicked. “Duck.”
She listens, dropping to the floor hard enough to sting the weeping palms she balances on. The sick squelch of his trident in the fallen tribute is covered by her hands tight over her ears as she waits for the boom. The gong sounds, and then a scream. An unmistakable scream. It settles in his stomach and throat thickly, sweating his already wet hands. You didn’t listen.
“Finnick!” The voice screams. Sobs. “Finnick! Finnick!”
The sound is nightmare-ish. Something the gamemakers could never manipulate that accurately, and deep down he knows it’s the sound you’ll wake him up from if you ever gets out of this arena alive.
“I’m coming!” His feet hit hard against the gravel as he sprints. His breathing dries his throat quick. “I’ve got you!”
“Finnick!”
“I’m coming-“
The moment skids to a halt as he finds you. Trapped in the arms of a larger, broader tribute, you struggle for air as he headlocks you. He considers doing something rash, but Katniss behind you shakes her head. Like she can see it in his eyes. It’s a slow, quiet moment, hunter quiet as she stalks closer. Finnick eyes her wary to give her away.
“We can talk about this.” Finnick rationalizes slowly. “It’s the beginning of the game.”
“So?” His arm tightens around your neck. Your squeak breaks Finnicks heart.
“Finnick.” You strain.
“Give the viewers what they want.” Finn pleads. “A show. You can’t kill her so quick.”
“I don’t see a bargain being made.”
A bargain? It’s the first ten minutes and he stands next to a gleaming cornucopia filled with sharp armory. He could get something better than a simple metal trident. Throwing knives, poison, a machete. Finnick suspects the victor is doing what he pleaded. Giving the audience a show.
“Take my trident!” He nearly crashes, cool demeanor dropping as he watches you tap the man’s arm in panic, your air slowly constricting. “Give me her.”
It sickens Katniss; the ability to kill someone for views. To feed into the capitals agenda. This is a necessary kill, she reasons, this isn’t for her own survival. This isn’t a selfish homicide; this is Rue in the net, Prim on the stage. This is the girl she could save. Katniss’ fingers loosen, letting the elaborate metal fly from her grip. It hits the nameless career in the back. Her target.
The moment slows in Finnicks eyes. Katniss stands far, arms hanging limply at her sides. She stares at him, grateful for the thankfulness in his eyes that eases her burdened chest.
“Y/N.” He gasps as the man falls hard on you. He runs, helping you from under the heavy weight. “I’ve got you now.”
“Finn.” You weep, hands in his as he lifts you. You stumble, crashing into him hard. He hears a sob in his tribute suit. “I’m sorry.”
“I told you to listen to me.” He doesn’t anger, but this feels close to it as he grips you tightly. “I told you to run.”
You heave, greedy for fresh air, but your lungs are infiltrated by the heady scent of salt water. His hand calms the coughs that rake through your chest, guilty for his scolding. It’s a quiet moment in the calamity of the bloodbath, a stolen moment that he can’t afford to prolong another second.
“Cmon,” He eyes you, hands cupping your face, then falling as he looks up to Katniss. “Let’s go find Peeta.”
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after-witch · 2 months
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Title: Are You There, God? It's Me [Yandere Feitan x Reader]
Title: Are You There, God? It's Me [Yandere Feitan x Reader]
Synopsis: You've been held captive by Feitan for months--you're long-since used to seeing blood. But it's the blood from your first period since you've been taken that has you feeling sick.
Word count: 2671
notes: yandere, kidnapped reader, descriptions of wounds and violence, mentions of previous physical abuse, reader gets their period
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Over the past few months, you’ve seen a lot of blood. You’ve seen clotted blood on festering wounds; fresh blood seeping from underneath knives and nails; spatters of blood on the walls from the sudden trauma of severed limbs, fingers, toes. 
Over time, your stomach has stopped rebelling at the sight of it. Not that it gets easier to see, but it has gotten easier to stomach. Maybe your body refuses to give up the few nutrients that do make their way down your gullet, thanks to Feitan’s dislike of cooking and unwillingness to provide you with a basic grocery stock to work from. Frozen dinners only go so far. 
Whatever the reason, you’re rarely physically ill anymore when Feitan drags you to the basement and makes you watch him torture people. For information, or for fun, or sometimes both in equal measure. Emotionally, mentally, socially, psychologically ill is another thing entirely…
But here, now, in the quiet upstairs bathroom, the sight of your period blood smeared on your underwear has you ready to hurl. Your guts seize together and you wonder how quickly you’d be able to clean the toilet, should vomit make its way out of your throat. 
Your period is… back. 
It’s been a while. A few months. Stress had stolen it away, and you hadn’t thought much about it. You remembered when your dad died years ago--you hadn’t gotten your period for maybe 4 months, then. So it was no wonder that being kidnapped by some crazed serial killer who could turn his nails into knives seemingly at whim might throw your body’s organic clock all out of sorts.
But here, now, in the same damned quiet upstairs bathroom where you sometimes retreat to cry into towels, it’s back. 
What are you supposed to do?
Your first thought was to search the bathroom for period supplies, but of course, there were none. Not a single pad or tampon. 
(The sick thought occurs to you: even if one of Feitan’s victims survived long enough to get their period, it’s not like he’d be letting them take a break to put on a pad...)
No pads. No tampons. Certainly nothing as innovative as a cup.
So you’ve made do with the old standby: folding as much toilet paper as humanly possible and sticking it in your underwear. But you know it won’t last long. It’s meant to be a temporary stopgap on the way home from work or school, or until you can run out to the shop to grab a fresh box.
You can’t just run out to the shop. You can’t go anywhere. Not even outside, not even for a minute. You’re not even meant to freely ask for things; asking for anything--some fresh vegetables, a blanket that’s actually warm, new underwear--is a grueling, draining task that you often prep days in advance. 
And he doesn’t always say yes.
And this? This? No. There’s no way. You are not going to waltz up to your kidnapper and tell him that you’ve started something so personal and intimate. Humiliation doesn’t begin to describe the act. You want to fold up like a piece of paper and blow into the wind whenever you recall the conversation you were forced to have regarding new underwear made from 100% cotton--
Why? He’d asked. And you’d said it was more comfortable. He snorted. And you were worried that he might not think it was  important, so you had to explain that your body reacted poorly to anything less than 100% cotton. And he’d asked, simply: What do you mean? And you’d had to actually explain, voice mumbled and face blazing hot from shame, that you get irritated down there by other fabrics.
You can’t go through that again. For heaven’s sake--you’d have to tell him what sort of supplies you’d need! Did he even know the difference between a pad and a tampon? What if he asked why you needed an overnight pad versus a normal one? 
And there’s other things to consider. The dull ache in your lower stomach… he does have painkillers, but he’s only doled them out for serious things (your broken wrist, for slapping him--and the time you slipped on the stairs and hurt your back; you’re not allowed to walk up or down them on your own, anymore).
A heating pad would be nice. And a body pillow to put between your legs and curl up with. But to get them, you’ll have to ask Feitan. Ask him properly, the right way, at the right time. 
And he’d have questions, wouldn’t he? 
He’d want to know why you need a heating pad (“Because my uterus feels like it’s being clawed out, goddamn it!” would probably not fly) and who knows, maybe he’d tell you to just suck it up and you’d have to deal with the humiliation of being rejected on top of the shame of him knowing you’re bleeding from your most private of parts and--
No
No.
It’s not happening. You aren’t going to tell him, and that is that. You’ll do what you can to get through it--just a few days, that’s all, you used to have to sit through school without pain meds and heating pads and sure it sucked but you lived--and you’ll soldier on like you’ve done thus far. 
You sigh, and carefully flush the proof of your period--toilet paper and blood tinged urine--down the toilet. You’ll have to be careful about where you sit, and how you sit, lest you accidentally stain the sofa or the dining room chair. 
Then the thought comes to you, almost a buzz in your head--
Oh, fuck… what if it leaks on the bed when you sleep? Feitan would know. Feitan would see. You’d have to ask him for cleaning supplies or get caught dragging the sheet to the bathroom or… or…
No, that couldn’t happen. You’d do something. You’d--yes! The solution is simple. Easy as pie. 
You wouldn’t still be sane without quick thinking, so you nab a few towels from the back of the bathroom closet, shove them under your shirt like you used to mimic pregnancy as a child with an overactive imagination and a tendency for dramatic imaginative play times, and prepare to scamper to your bedroom and hide them until night falls.
You’d make a barrier, that’s what you’d do. Simple, easy. Effective. And Feitan never had to know.  
Feitan rarely bothered with you in the evening, anyway--he was too busy with his work. 
It was a perfect plan.
--
It was not a perfect plan.
Everything was going fine. You’d draped a cardigan around your waist in the afternoon when Feitan insisted you watch a film together, although as usual he didn’t sit on the same sofa as you, and simply stared at you now and then from his vantage point on the chair. The same cardigan had come in handy at dinner.
No leaks. No stains. And you’d pushed through the pain and discomfort of your cramps, all the while practicing pretending that something you ate wasn’t sitting well with you, if Feitan had noticed. 
He didn’t.
All you had to do was get to bed, make your barrier, and cover up with the blanket just in case it was one of the nights that Feitan came into your room in the middle of the night to stare at you like some sort of creepy owl. (Did he know you knew, or did he like to think you were unawares)
That’s it.
Simple enough.
Easy-peasy, lemon-squeezy.
Right?
Wrong.
Because as soon as you’d finished smoothing out the second towel on top of the sheets, Feitan walked through the doorway to your bedroom.
Where he stands, now, staring at you with a look of false passivity.
“Why,” he asks, in a voice so mild that you know it means he’s absolutely invested in an answer, “you have towels on the bed?”
You’d come up with excuses for cramps; you’d even dabbled with pretending that you’d scratched your thigh or something, if you happened to bleed onto the sofa.
Feitan never really came into your room while you prepared for bed, so the thought of an excuse here never entered your mind. And now your mind whirled for an answer, coming up blank.
“I, uh,” you say, plopping yourself down on the towel as if covering it up with your body would somehow erase his memory. “I was… cold?” You offer, not even believing an ounce of your own life.
Feitan’s expression doesn’t change.
“Why?” The question leaves room for no excuses, no lies, nothing but the truth. There’s an ‘or else’ in his tone that you don’t care to uncover. 
This is sick. This is wrong. This is so unfair.
“I’monmyperiod.” You rush out the words, staring down at your thighs, cheeks so hot you’re sure the temperature in the room has raised by a few degrees.
“Slower.”
You could cry. You might, actually, you feel the pressure of tears building behind your eyes.
“I’m. on. My. Period.” The words come out behind gritted teeth.
You hear a sound you’ve never actually heard from Feitan before: a short, stuttered intake of breath. A surprised, involuntarily, clipped little noise of confusion.
It makes you look up, unable to process what you’ve just heard without seeing it. But what you see is even more confusing: 
Feitan is blushing.
Oh, just a little. Just the tiniest amount of ruddiness on his cheeks. If you were one of his victims or some random person on the street, you wouldn’t notice. But you notice all of Feitan’s little expressions, the nuances of his body language. The difference between how far he raises his eyebrows at you can mean the difference between pain and mild discomfort. 
So yes, you notice this slight ruddiness on his cheeks, and your brain whirs pathetically, trying to process what it means. 
He sees you staring. His hand reaches up to his cheek, and he must realize it--
Because then he yanks his cowl up and turns sideways, leaning against the door frame in a nonchalant way that now seems painfully practiced.
He says nothing for a moment. Your heart thuds the entire time.
When he speaks, his voice is quiet and--you could swear--shy. Awkward. Like he doesn’t want to bring it up. It’s a strange reversal--normally you’re the one who’s left quietly murmuring. 
“You need… lady things?”
Oh, this must be how you die. 
It won’t be from breaking your neck on the stairs or from Feitan getting bored of you and slashing your throat. It will be from sitting on a towel-strewn bed in front of your secretly blushing captor as he asks you what type of feminine hygiene products you need. 
You must not answer fast enough, because he jerks his head towards you. 
“Well?” 
He looks just as uncomfortable as you feel--it almost makes you feel slightly better. At least he’s not lording it over you. He’s never passed up a chance to make you feel degraded, but even this must be too much for him.
It gives you the push you need to speak, although your voice practically chokes on the words.
“Um. I need. Some pads? Over--overnight ones, because I tend to bleed a lot--” Your eyes shut for a fraction longer than normal, why did you tell him that, for fuck’s sake. “And--” Your voice cracks. “And maybe… if it’s not too much trouble, a heating pad?”
He shifts his position against the door frame. You wonder if he’s making a mental list. The thought of Feitan waltzing into some supermarket with a paper list that says “overnight pads” is too ludicrous to consider for long.
‘”Heating pad? What for?”
The sound you make can only be described as a short, painful keening groan. It’s not the cramps that hurt--it’s the humiliation. 
“For cramps,” you say quickly. “Mine get really bad. They were um, pretty bad today, but--”
“Idiot.” Ah, there’s the Feitan you recognize. “Why not say something?”
The towel underneath your fingers isn’t very soft, but you scrunch the fabric up underneath them anyway. “I didn’t want... I mean… I thought that…” 
And then that soft pressure behind your eyes builds from frustration, from the embarrassment, from the fact that you’re being held captive and on top of the many awful things you’ve experienced over the past however-many-months, you’re now having a discussion about your intimate period with someone who seems to delight in tormenting you.
The first sniffle is easily hidden. But not the second, or the third. And by the time your lower jaw is quivering and the tears are spilling down your cheeks, you can only lean forward and cry pathetically into your hands.
You hate this. You hate being here. You hate your period, you hate Feitan, you hate the fact that you can’t just go into the bathroom and slap a pad on your underwear. You hate this bed and these towels and the clothes you’re wearing. You hate everything.
“Fine.”
His clipped, sudden word doesn’t make you stop crying. But it does give you a pause, and you swallow down against your tight throat and look at him through sniffling tears. “Huh?”
“I get you heating pad.” He flicks his hand at you, like he’s shooing away an annoying pet dog. “Go to bed. You need more sleep now.” 
You do stop crying then, if only because your brain isn’t sure how else to react. Your mouth hangs open a little as you curl up on the bed--a nap would be nice--and grab an extra pillow to shove against your stomach. 
Feitan, for his part, snorts and leaves your doorway. You expect him to go into the basement, but instead you hear him putting on his boots, grabbing things from the foyer. He’s going out? Now?
All the while, he’s mumbling to himself. You only catch a few of the words--women, hormones among them--before he leaves. The door’s lock seems louder than ever and you clutch the pillow harder. 
Later, you’re yanked out of a fuzzy dream when something both soft and hard lands with a thunk against your head, and your bedroom light is flicked on.
It takes you a few moments to get your bearings.
There’s something draped against you. You blink and hold it up. It’s a heating pad, the plug-in kind with a remote control and everything. 
Feitan is standing in your doorway, holding a large sack. 
When he sees that you’re at least vaguely awake and aware, he turns it over and dumps the contents on the floor. It’s about 20 boxes of overnight pads--a few different brands. He must have stolen half the shelf. 
He regards you with a pleased expression that’s only half-hidden by his cowl. But you’d know his expression of self-serving pride at a job well done anywhere; you’ve seen it enough times when he’s tortured information out of someone. 
“Well? This enough for the month?”
The choked sound that comes out of your throat might have had a laugh in it somewhere, but you hope he doesn’t hear it. You get the sense that laughing about this would actually bother him more than anything you’ve done lately.
So instead you nod, slowly, and unfold the heating pad so that you can plug it in somewhere. Since you’ll probably be up for a while, it would be okay to ease your cramps a bit before morning. 
But when you look up… Feitan is still there, standing in the doorway.
He looks expectant, like you’ve forgotten something you’re supposed to do, but what--
Oh.
“Thank you, Feitan,” you murmur, swallowing hard, staring down at your lap as the sleep-induced grogginess begins to fade away from your brain.  
He hums, then looks down at the pile of boxes he dumped on the floor. 
“Put these away. Don’t want you tripping on them. Clumsy.” 
For once, you don’t mind the insult. 
It’s better to be back on familiar territory. 
918 notes · View notes
pjackk · 5 months
Text
Extremley Urgent Action Needed
Hi everybody i hate to to it but im in a realy bad spot and ive been pretty much bummed out really badly lately and lots of people on here are actually being really bad to me constantly and telling me lots of mean shit all the time and im pretty much in a super bad spot because im mentally fucked up badly right now and the theres some some holidays and shit comign up and i dont give a fuck about heaven or hell cuz my life is fucked anyways and going to shit so i dont know how it could really get worst but i pretty much want to treat myself and practice self care by making the right choices for me and getting shit that i really want as a gift to myself since nobody else will ever get me free shit since im a societal freak and a piece of shit apparently and something i really want is a Cast Iron Money Man
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So the great part about the guinness Stout moneyman is that on top of making me enjoy my life for once in my fcking life if i had him it would teach me how to save my coins and put them in a safe place so they dotn keep falling down the drain because whenever im counting my pennies and other brown or shiny colored coins its always in the sink cuz thats the only place not filled to the brim with stupid shit i keep finding LOL i keep finding shit on the ground and in the trash and its often interesting as fuck shit like a stick that would be realy goood for turning into a weapon if needs to be if i was attacked from every angel a great way to fight them and a perfect advantage to have is to have the range advantage so if the thieves and other bandits were coming at me with knives and shit i would be able to bash them with my stick and maybe break there bodys while im at it and i could legaly say i killed them to defend my self and all my other shit so anyways theres tons of shit everywhere and since i just throw away my dishes when im done with them because they are way to dirty and beyond even the level to get it cleaned no more cuz shit is dried on there and wont come off if i make it wet i just gie up so that means theres never shit in my sink exept for the coins when im counting them but the big problem is i dont have a money man made out of cast iron to keep my coins safe so they fall down the drain and when i try to pop them up by dumping oil in the drain and using gargage disposal switch it just crunches them up and shoots fragments into my glasses and always breaks my glasses so i always have to get new glasses since they are always breakign whenever i lose my coins but the big problem is since i dont have my coins no more since they all get all torn up and shit its super hard to afford new glasses or food at all even though i dont technicaly have to eat its always fun to eat yummy shit so please consider to send me money to help muy shit as fuck mental get better and invest in my prosperity i promise u it will trickle down to u and u will benefit from my well being im actually working on a new CD right now with dope as fuck music but its realy really hard to be creative when i dont want to get out of bed because im always hung tf over from drinking a shit load of top notch gin a the pub all night and feeling super depresed basicaly my Guinenss beer Shaped money man would be a perfect way to solve my problems let me know if u want to help by clicking the beer above and giving me money to spend on my cast iron money man
1K notes · View notes
bangtanintotheroom · 4 days
Text
Make Me Water (M)
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Can you blow my mind?
Set off my whole body
If I give you my time
Can you snatch my soul from me?
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🔊 water - tyla; make me - britney spears, g-eazy; the look - ali gatie, kehlani; meeting in my bedroom - silk; tonight - dxvn., daniel di angelo; slidin' - kai and more... 🔊
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• Pairing: Seonghwa x (F)Reader
• Genre: Non-Idol!AU, Friends to Lovers, Smut, Fluff
• Rating: 18+
• Words: 14.4k
• Summary: The most unexpected topic comes up during a drinking session with your friends, leading to one of them making a rather bold claim. You declare that they’re full of shit and unintentionally make them determined to prove you wrong.
• Warnings/themes: drinking, swearing, explicit sexual content, discussion about inappropriate topics, Seonghwa and his bedroom eyes 😶, Y/N is in for the ride of her life, bickering, making out, body worship, teasing, edging, praise, fingering, squirting (it’s gon be real wet up in here 🗣️💦), dirty talk, oral (f. and m. receiving), multiple orgasms, creampie, multiple positions, unprotected sex (dooon’t do this), aftercare
• Notes: She's heeeeere~ I feel like I've been through the wringer working on this one, so I hope it was worth the wait! Thank you to @wooahaeproductions for beta'ing! 💖
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“Alright, alright, it’s my turn now!”
Wooyoung’s exclamation made you and a couple of others look around with apprehension; nothing good came from his drunken mouth ninety percent of the time. But you humored him nonetheless by encouraging, “Go on, Woo.”
You and your group of friends had gathered at your place for the weekly hang out that involved food, drinks and conversations that could either start debates or leave everyone on the floor dying of laughter. Tonight was no exception as empty bottles of soju and beer laid across the coffee table, along with plates that once housed food that everyone brought.
Now that stomachs were full and inhibitions were lessened, in came the inappropriate discussions.
Wooyoung straightened his posture, looking like the Cheshire cat as he crowed, “What’s something you’ve always wanted to try in bed that you haven’t yet?”
Reactions varied. Some immediately looked up as they searched for an answer while others took a sudden interest in their drinking glasses. You were of the former as you scanned your brain, only for Mingi to step up to the plate first.
“You know, I’ve always wanted to have sex while driving.”
Sakura quipped over her glass with, “Like road head or full on sex?”
“Road head, I guess. Not trying to wreck my car.”
Jongho couldn’t help but scoff, “Like you would have less of a chance of crashing from that.”
Mingi waved the younger man off, clearly not wanting his fantasy to be ruined.
“Whatever. Ningning, you go now.”
“Huh?! Why me?”
“Because you’re sitting next to me, we’re going around in a circle.”
Ningning didn’t seem too pleased with his reasoning, elbowing him sharply before gathering her thoughts.
“Uh…I guess—” Her pretty face scrunched up. “—I wouldn’t mind getting tied up.”
Everyone lit up with curiosity, but it was overshadowed from Jongho nearly choking on his beer all of a sudden. Seonghwa was quick to lean over and pat his back to help out.
“Easy there.”
“I’m—” A cough. “—fine, hyung, thanks.”
Wooyoung leaned forward, eyes scrunched as he stared down Ningning.
“Eh? Bondage? Our little Ningning is into that?”
“Okay, one, don’t call me little or I’ll throw something at you. Two, I haven’t tried it yet.”
“But you want to one day.”
Knives might as well have gone into Wooyoung with the way she glared him down.
“Isn’t that the point of this game? Dumbass.”
You were quick to jump in with, “Ning, I think we need to keep you away from the soju, even though Woo deserves every word you’re hurling at him.”
“Hey!”
Ningning huffed, crossing her arms before leaning back against the couch. “Whatever. Jongho, are you alright? Sorry if I scared you.”
Jongho was under control now, although his cheeks had a slight flush to them.
“Y-Yes, Ningning…you didn’t scare me, just took me off-guard.”
She giggled, doing a complete one-eighty from her interaction with Wooyoung.
“Did I? I’ll try not to do it again, ‘kay?”
Whatever Jongho was about to reply with dwindled into a sheepish chuckle when her hand patted his.
“O-Okay.”
“Anyways—” The attention was back on Wooyoung again, thanks to his obnoxious call. “—since you’re back in action, it’s your turn now.”
“Huh?! Oh…”
The way the poor kid deflated had you about to pipe up to defend him, only for Seonghwa to beat you to it.
“Wooyoung, take it down a notch, will you?”
The offender placed a hand on his chest as if he was falsely accused of a crime. “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize I was around a bunch of wet blankets. Look, if he wants to skip, fine. Don’t need him choking to death.”
Just as Seonghwa was about to scold again, Jongho waved a hand to ease the tension.
“Hyung, it’s fine.”
“Are you sure? Don’t let him pressure you.”
The younger man gave his elder a toothy grin in reassurance.
“Yes.”
“You heard him, mom, let him answer!”
Seonghwa sighed in defeat, shaking his head as he got comfortable in his spot next to you again. You leaned in to whisper, “There’s no winning against Woo when he’s drunk, I thought you knew that by now.”
Your friend chuckled lowly, bumping your thigh with his hand.
“Thank you for the reminder. Say it a little earlier next time, yes?”
A giggle escaped, from both his quip and the light touch.
“Yes, Hwa.”
Remembering that Jongho was about to answer now, you tuned out of your brief conversation with the man beside you and back to the group.
“I always…”
Hesitation spread over Jongho’s face as he trailed off; whatever he wanted to say must have been too much for his introverted self to admit. But Wooyoung was quick to encourage him by saying, “Come on, Jongho, spit it out! This is a no judgment zone.”
The younger man gave his friend a look of gratitude before taking a deep breath. “Okay, okay. Um…I’ve always been curious about…”
With his teeth coming on full display and his full cheeks reddening further, he unloaded.
“Squirting?”
Between Mingi spitting out his beer, Wooyoung screeching in surprise at the mess that landed on him, Sakura and Ningning gasping and your jaw dropping, the room went in an uproar.
“Yah, you got beer on me!”
“Serves you right for starting this in the first place.”
“Huh?! Jongho, are you for real?”
“Yes! What’s wrong, i-is it too much?”
Sakura waved her hands in placation, continuing, “No, it’s not! I’m just surprised to hear that from you, of all people.”
He was quick to straighten up, eyes narrowing in defense. “What is that supposed to mean?!”
“You seem so…clean-cut?”
“Yeah, not like someone who wants their mattress turned into a water bed.”
Jongho snapped at Mingi’s confusion with, “I’m not talking about a whole geyser, that’s fake! Just a little bit, you know?”
The tall man still looked unconvinced, full lips pursed.
“Okay, but, is it even possible?”
“Yeah, I heard it’s not easy to do—” Wooyoung had the nerve to wiggle his fingers in the air. “—gotta have the magic touch.”
Of course, the troublemaker himself glanced at you, Sakura and Ningning before questioning, “Unless either of you lovely ladies have experience in that area?”
Ningning shook her head swiftly. “Never.”
Sakura lifted her chin. “Nope.”
Which left you to end the interrogation with, “No, and it won’t ever happen.”
Wooyoung backed off, humming in curiosity. Just when it seemed that he was going to move on to the next victim, a voice next to you spoke.
“I’ve seen it happen before.”
Every eye in the room landed on Seonghwa, looking as casual as ever despite his controversial statement.
“Eh? What do you mean?”
He looked at Jongho casually while lifting his glass to his lips. “I’ve made someone squirt before.”
Sheer chaos erupted all at once. While everyone else talked over each other, you gawked at your friend. You did not expect something like that to come out of Seonghwa, of all people.
Seonghwa, who kept a close eye on your group during every outing.
Seonghwa, who stayed up until 3 AM playing Animal Crossing.
Prim, proper and pretty Seonghwa, who just admitted to causing an obscene act in the bedroom.
“How?!”
“Patience and knowing what they like. You also have to make sure they’re comfortable or you won’t get anywhere.”
It was ironic to see how fixated Wooyoung was on the topic, seeing as he was the one who started this game out of sheer debauchery, inquiring, “Was it planned? Or did it just happen out of nowhere?”
“It was unexpected but intriguing. We were just doing the usual and I could feel something different. Before I realized it, there was a huge mess.”
You could have sworn you heard a hint of smugness in his tone.
“Damn…from fingering or fucking?”
A tilt of his lips.
“Both.”
Wooyoung sat back, looking more than impressed at his friend’s prowess. But you weren’t on board like the others were. Squirting always seemed like something that was exaggerated by people who didn’t have much to brag about in the bedroom. Therefore, you couldn’t help but interrupt the questioning.
“You sure they didn’t pee on you?”
Seonghwa turned his head, looking unimpressed with your snark. “I’m pretty sure.”
Your brow lifted.
“It only happened that one time?”
“Yes.”
You shrugged your shoulders.
“Maybe you just got lucky.”
The ‘oooh’ echoing from your friends only amplified the taken aback expression on Seonghwa’s face.
“I think she’s calling you bad in bed, Hwa.”
“No, I’m not! I’m just skeptical, is all. Anyways—” You shot a placating smile to everyone. “—why don’t we move on to the next victim?”
Wooyoung cackled, “Now you’re speaking my language, Y/N! Sakura, you better answer with something to upstage hyung!”
“Wooyoung-ah, don’t put so much pressure on me!”
Following her whine, the group focused their full attention on the young woman, especially you as you pushed the previous topic to the back of your head. But while you were laser-focused on every single person who went next, you were unaware of the constant glances Seonghwa would shoot at the side of your head, something brewing deep in his dark eyes.
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After the tumultuous discussions finally dimmed, you retreated into the kitchen to begin washing the pile of dishes from dinner. Despite the multiple offers of help, you turned them down. You could use some peace and quiet for a moment.
The dull thrum of conversation in the background was all the noise you needed as you began working on whatever was in the sink. But then you felt someone coming up to stand to your right once you got two plates in.
You didn’t even need to look up to know who was butting in.
“Do you not know the meaning of relax?”
Seonghwa hummed playfully, reaching for one of the soaped-up dishes in your sink. “No, not really.”
A huff left as you allowed him to help. No point wasting energy in saying no.
You scrubbed each one as well as you could before passing them off to your friend to rinse. Even though you knew he should have been kicking back in the living room with the others, his assistance was appreciated. You greatly underestimated how hard dried tteokbokki sauce was to get off.
“So what are they talking about now? How to recreate positions from porn?”
Seonghwa chuckled at your quip. “No, they’re laser-focused on the game.”
“Good. I still can’t believe we even had that conversation earlier.”
“You know how Wooyoung and the others get when they drink.” A pause came before he spoke lowly, “They didn’t make you feel uncomfortable, did they?”
The way concern painted his tone made you look up, seeing his face expressing the same emotion. Leave it to him to always look out for you.
“Not at all. I was taken off-guard—” You gave a reassuring smile. “—but it definitely livened up the night.”
He smiled with relief, taking another bowl from you to rinse off and dry.
“Although I have to admit, you caught me by surprise.”
“What, because of what I said?”
You hummed as you put your muscles into scrubbing a stubborn stain, “Mhm. Doesn’t seem like your kind of thing.”
Seonghwa huffed playfully, “Well, you never expressed any interest in my intimate life, so I didn’t have a reason to inform you.”
His remark made your eyes roll.
“I mean that it doesn’t seem like something your prim and proper self would be into.”
“You say that like sex isn’t meant to be the opposite of that.”
You shrugged. “I stand by what I said. Besides, you probably just got lucky with whoever she was.”
Out of the corner of your eye, you spotted Seonghwa turning his head to lift a defined brow. “What makes you say that?”
Wanting to emphasize your opinion, you paused your hands to give your friend a matter-of-fact expression.
“Because a lot of women can’t squirt. I don’t care what ‘experts’ say, it’s damn near impossible.”
To your surprise, he frowned. “Y/N, do you really think I’m lying?”
“Not lying, just taking an inch and making a mile out of it—” You went back to giving the dirty dishes attention. “—maybe if I saw it in person, it’d be a different story.”
After that, it was silent, save for the faint cheers of your friends in the living room. You figured that was the end of that conversation.
“Why bother telling you when I could just show you?”
Your fingers seemed to lose their grip on the plate, clattering into the sink loudly.
What? He did not just say that.
You turned to gawk at Seonghwa before stuttering, “H-Huh?”
He was nonplussed as he met your eyes, repeating, “I could just prove you wrong. Actions speak louder than words, no?”
Was he fucking serious? Seonghwa offering to show you how he could make you squirt?
“Hwa, you…you’re joking, right?”
“I’m not.”
Judging by the look on his face, he really wasn’t.
Feeling a heat begin to creep up the back of your neck, you tore your gaze away to grab the plate, picking it up and checking to see if it suffered any damage from your slip-up.
“Come on, be for real right now. I can’t do that.”
“You can’t let me touch you or you can’t squirt?”
You almost threw the abused dish back down as your head whipped up to fix him a flustered glare.
“Both! One, we’re friends. Two, I’ve never squirted and I never will.”
Seonghwa gave you an equally stern look, firing back, “We’re both single and it would just be between the two of us. And have you ever even tried?”
“N-No, but—”
“So how would you know?”
You pursed your lips, feeling a wave of frustration mixed with defeat overcoming you. It wasn’t fun to admit, but he had a point.
He could probably tell by the look on your face that you knew this, yet he didn’t gloat or prod you further. Seonghwa just kept watching and waiting for your next defense to come out. But it didn’t come for a while as your mind raced with thoughts, coming up with one that took you for a spin.
Would it really be so bad to say yes?
If you had to be honest, a part of you always entertained escaping the friend zone with Seonghwa. Yes, he was an incredibly good-looking man, but that could only get you so far. It was his personality that made your mind wander, as well.
There was always something so incredibly attractive about someone who looked out for you and your best interests. It wasn’t just with you, but with others as well. The amount of times he had jumped in to assist (especially with Jongho and Wooyoung) with getting them out of messes was too frequent.
But this was your friend. And friends and sex mixed together could either end up turning into something beautiful or an absolute disaster.
“Seonghwa.”
“Hm?”
You peered up at him with confusion. “Why me?”
For a moment, your friend said nothing while keeping his stare on you. But then the gentlest of smiles stretched his lips before he explained, “Why not?”
Flabbergasted. Flustered. Any word to match your current feeling was necessary.
His reason was as simple as that?
“Hwa, the TV is acting up again, can you help us?”
Sakura’s sudden shout made the two of you jump, Seonghwa turning his head to call out, “Give me a second!”
You couldn’t help but freeze when his dark eyes landed on you again, steady as if you two didn’t have an inappropriate conversation just now.
“No pressure, Y/N. Excuse me.”
And then he left you alone in the kitchen, reeling and staring at the spot he was previously in.
What the hell?
Desperate to distract yourself from what occurred, you turned to face the sink again. Cleaning up was considerably slower this time, thanks to your hands trembling. When you dropped the same butter knife for the third time, you swore under your breath and placed your palms on the edge of the counter, holding on tight. It was to try and get your nerves under control, but alas, you ended up pondering Seonghwa's offer in the meantime.
You sighed heavily, hanging your head for a moment as you reminded yourself to grab a shot before heading back to the others.
The rest of the night went smoothly with spikes of excitement, courtesy of Jongho and Ningning’s impromptu duet and Mingi’s long-winded explanation of how ants were the most useless bugs in existence. You tried your damnedest to focus on them and give your own input, but it was difficult thanks to the source of your troubles sitting right next to you.
You tried to play it cool, even though you kept stealing glances at Seonghwa, acting as nonplussed as ever. It didn’t help at all when he decided to perch his head on your lap, humming as he looked ready to fall asleep at any moment.
Bastard.
Mercy was granted when everyone decided to head out later on. You saw them out with hugs and promises to make plans for next week’s hangout, save for Seonghwa who decided to stay behind to help with the last bit of cleaning. You cursed his consideration, still feeling too shaken to be able to stay alone in the same room as him. As long as you avoided his eyes, you were okay.
When he finally decided to leave, you felt an odd mix of relief and disappointment. His offer hadn’t been brought up again since earlier, leaving you to wonder if he was fully serious or just taking the piss out of you.
“Are you alright?”
You broke out of your thoughts, seeing Seonghwa observing you with concern.
“Yeah, Hwa…I think I’m just ready for bed, that's all.”
“You do look tired. Let me get out of your hair, then.”
And so you walked him to your front door, the feeling still lingering inside your chest. You tried your best to stifle it as you unlocked the door, giving your friend a smile.
“Thanks for the help, Hwa.”
He gave you one of his gorgeous, toothy grins, making your gut flip in protest. “Of course, Y/N.”
And like always, he reached his arms out, waiting until you stepped into them to receive a tight hug.
A hug that made you a little giddy at times yet hit ten times harder tonight.
“Have a good night.”
Why did he have to whisper it like that? And so close to your head?
“You too. Get home safe.”
Reluctantly, you let him go, watching as he stepped over the threshold. But as soon as both feet passed, that ball of tension inside crawled up and out of your mouth.
“Seonghwa.”
You almost didn’t recognize your voice, trying not to mull over it too much as said man turned to look at you. Hesitation wracked you before you were able to muster a necessary question.
“Are you free this weekend?”
“I am. Why?”
Would you regret what you were about to do? Or would you be unlocking the door to something new and exciting?
There was no point in analyzing further as you gathered up every last one of your nerves to look him in the eye.
“I have a challenge for you.”
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You were a fool. A horny, little fool who let her pussy take over her mind.
As badly as you wanted to blame Seonghwa for even putting this crazy idea into your head, it was absurd to try. You were the one who accepted his offer and you were the one currently driving over to his place to see if he could put his money where his mouth was.
Just the curious thoughts you had about what he might do had you gripping the steering wheel tighter.
They came to a halt when you parked and began making your way up to his apartment, trying not to look too jumpy to the doorman who always greeted you. You were no stranger to visiting, but a silly part of you became paranoid that he’d see right through and decipher the naughty reason that you were really here. But your facade remained steady until you made your way off the elevator and headed straight for one of the doors in the hallway.
You took in a deep breath, soothing your nerves a mite before ringing the doorbell. Whatever composure you mustered dwindled when Seonghwa answered a few seconds later, looking effortlessly gorgeous as ever. Yes, even in a plain white tee and gray sweats.
Damn. You probably looked basic as fuck with your simple cami and leggings on.
“Y/N.”
The pleasant smile he gave reflected on your own face as you brought a mildly shaky hand up to give a short wave.
“I made it.”
“I can see that. Come in.”
As soon as he stepped aside, you entered, sliding your shoes off as he shut the door.
“Busy day today?”
You shrugged as you pushed your footwear to the side of the welcome mat. “Busy enough. I took it easy, honestly.”
“Saving your energy for tonight?”
The tips of your ears heated up at the ever so subtle upturn of his lips. Leave it to him to be direct.
“Maybe.”
Seonghwa chuckled as you looked anywhere but at him, leaning his shoulder against the door and folding his arms across his chest. “No need to be so awkward, Y/N.”
You groaned and looked up at the ceiling before griping, “Hwa, I just came over to your apartment to see if you could get me to squirt. How can I not be awkward?”
Your friend’s humorous smile grew into a reassuring one as he returned to his full height, reaching one of his hands out to hold yours.
“You shouldn’t feel awkward because it’s just between the two of us and we’re going to have a good time.”
The touch and reassurance from him eased your nerves a little, but…
“But what if I don’t end up doing it?”
Seonghwa’s expression became a bit serious now. 
“Then we’ll figure it out, if we hit that wall. Either way, no pressure—” His thumb rubbed the back of your hand. “—I just want you to enjoy yourself.”
Your heart couldn’t help but warm. Despite the fact that he brought this up in the first place, he gave you the choice to tap out whenever you wanted. But there was a bud growing inside you now. A bud that was determined to at least attempt to see his claim through.
“Thank you, Seonghwa. I, um, hope I don’t disappoint you.”
He grinned lightly, giving your palm a careful squeeze.
“I’m sure you won’t. Do you need anything right now?”
Considering that you did all your grooming and usual sex prep at home, you were ready to get straight to business.
“No, I’m good.”
Seonghwa nodded at your answer, letting go of your hand. “Alright. Just head to my room and get comfortable, I have to grab a few things first.”
Although you raised your eyebrow at whatever ‘a few things’ was, you let it slide and turned to walk towards his bedroom. Out of all the times you had been in there, heading past the door had you overcome with a different emotion this time. Well, three.
You were nervous, cautious and excited at the same time. Maybe there was a name for that somewhere out there, but you deemed it unimportant at the moment as you sat on the foot of his bed. 
His room was familiar, so you couldn’t distract yourself by looking around. For now, you clasped your hands and twiddled your thumbs, watching them with mild interest. The sound of Seonghwa finally entering brought your attention away from your appendages, only for your brows to nearly raise into your hairline with the things your friend had bundled in his arms.
Two water bottles.
A bath towel.
A portable speaker.
“You’re really turning this into a whole experience, aren’t you?”
“Yes. I want to make sure you’re as relaxed as possible.”
Something clicked and you made a noise of realization. “Is that why you asked me to send you a bedroom playlist over?”
“Mhm.”
You couldn’t help but laugh softly and shake your head.
“Seonghwa…it almost feels like you’re trying to seduce me.”
He giggled at the accusation, setting the stuff down on the bed before grinning mischievously.
“Is it working?”
In all honesty, it wouldn’t have taken much on his end to seduce you, but there was no way in hell you were going to say that out loud.
“I’ll give you an A for effort.”
“Hmph, good enough.”
With that, Seonghwa grabbed the speaker to start setting it up with his phone.
“Oh, I forgot to mention—” He paused and turned his head to look at you. “—you might want to use the bathroom before we start.”
His suggestion made your face scrunch in confusion. “I don’t really have to go, though…”
“Even if you don’t, it’ll give you peace of mind. Just so you know that you don’t have to go during. Trust me.”
Well, you weren’t going to keep fighting the supposed squirting expert, so you shrugged and stood up to head to the bathroom. After doing the little bit of business you had and cleaning up, you returned to Seonghwa’s room, only to be greeted by a few different things.
Familiar music entered your ears and your eyes noticed the large bath towel spread out in the middle of his bed, the dark terrycloth contrasting with the light blue comforter. Seonghwa had his back turned to you, too occupied in fussing with something at his nightstand to notice your appearance. You cleared your throat after a few seconds, capturing his attention as he looked over his shoulder.
“All done?”
You gave a nod as you walked up to him.
“Are you all put together now?”
He chuckled a little, returning your nod. “As much as I can be, yes.”
Despite his answer, there was a bout of silence between the two of you afterward. It seemed that neither of you didn’t know how to continue. Thankfully, he stepped up to the plate.
“Should we sit?”
His motioning to the foot of the bed forced you to swallow the sudden jump of nerves, moving forward to sit down, the other following suit. Your eyes remained on the carpet, tapping your bare feet on it as you came to terms with what was about to happen. It was a miracle that you could hear the music over the hammering of your heartbeat.
“You look nervous.”
You brought your eyes up to see Seonghwa giving you a sympathetic smile. It only made you clear your throat and look away with timidity.
“Can you blame me? This is an…unexpected development in our relationship.”
A quiet hum. “It definitely is.”
Both of you stayed silent, breaking when you heard him whisper, “I wasn’t sure if you’d say yes.”
You whipped your head back around, blinking at his change in tone.
“I was expecting you to curse me out completely for even bringing something like this up.”
You assumed that you were the only one internally freaking out about this, but it was clear by the way Seonghwa kept tapping his bouncing leg that he was struggling to adjust too. Endeared and relieved by his behavior, you carefully bumped your leg into his.
“Well, you seemed so sincere in your offer and knowing you, you wouldn’t risk it if you knew I was gonna flip, right?”
Your mild teasing paired with encouragement made his demeanor brighten, teeth flashing.
“Right.”
Both of you giggled, feeling a little more at ease now. It led to Seonghwa taking your hand in his now, the touch comforting as he gazed into your eyes with a seriousness.
“There’s still a chance for you to back out, Y/N. It’s your call.”
Seonghwa’s body language was pretty clear in what answer he really wanted to hear. The way he continuously brushed his thumb over your knuckles and looked deep into your eyes let you know how much he was looking forward to this experience.
And yet he still gave you full control over it.
A grateful smile couldn’t help but stretch over your lips as you completely made up your mind. Your palm turned over to still his wandering thumb, scooting closer until your knee touched his own.
Leaning in, you whispered into his ear, “Show me what you can do.”
As soon as you pulled back, you could see the shift in Seonghwa’s expression, one that was new to you but brought a thrill down your spine. With a firm nod, he brought up his free hand to hold your jaw with caution. His head came in, tilting before you closed your eyes. A second later, you felt his lips claiming yours for a kiss.
A kiss that was everything you thought of and everything you never anticipated.
You always expected him to be an expert at this. Which was probably dumb of you to assume, considering you never got anything more than a hug out of your friend, but what was the harm in wishful thinking? At least he proved you right with the way he let passion slowly drip into it and kept his hands touching you.
Your body slowly crept up in temperature as the minutes went by. By now, you were giving back as much as you could in the kiss, one of your own hands holding onto his t-shirt. The urge to venture underneath kept striking, yet you didn’t want to get ahead of yourself without asking. You reluctantly pulled your lips off of Seonghwa’s, only enough to whisper, “Can I take your shirt off, Hwa?”
He was quick to give a nod of approval, sitting back before taking your hand and moving it to brush against the hem. Before you could lose your nerve, you took hold with both hands, waiting for your friend to lift his arms and sliding the fabric up carefully. You tossed it to the floor as soon as it was off, breath catching at what was in front of you now.
This wasn’t the first time you had seen Seonghwa shirtless, but the current circumstances made the sight more tantalizing than usual. Although you had noticed the light definition of his lean torso prior to today, knowing that you were about to have free reign made the urge to touch him even stronger. With a burst of want, your fingers began exploring his warm skin, watching and listening as he reacted to your touch.
The barely audible hums and sighs falling from his lips were eventually silenced when he leaned in for another kiss, the intensity turned up a notch this time. Feeling your friend groan into your mouth whenever you brushed a sensitive spot was a privilege you never thought you would get.
And one you didn’t want to give up any time soon.
But then Seonghwa was pulling away, making you nearly choke on the whine you had to hold back. Your disappointment was swiftly alleviated when you saw his hands go for the bottom of your shirt now. His brow raised as he questioned softly, “May I?”
Your response was an encouraging nod. Repeating his motions from earlier as the roles were reversed, you tried to ignore the anxious, little voice in your head as your clothing came off and ended up on the bedroom floor. It was also a result of spending nearly an hour deciding on what underwear to don, which in the grand scheme of things, was stupid. But you wanted to at least leave him with a good impression.
Which may be what you’re getting, judging by the smallest tilt of his mouth as he looked you over.
“What?”
“Would I sound arrogant if I asked if this was for me?”
Your nerves eased as you giggled and gave his leg a light kick.
“You would…but I’d let it slide.”
“Would you?”
“Mhm—” The attention made you push your chest out a bit. “—figured I’d wear my good stuff for a special occasion.”
Seonghwa chuckled lowly, glancing at the motion before returning to your face. “Well, I feel very grateful right now.”
His words solidified that you made an excellent choice today. 
While you were mentally patting yourself on the back, he began leaning in again, only for his lips to land on your jawline. The sensation brought a pleasant shiver down your spine, increasing when he started moving lower. Brushing over your pulse point made it come stronger this time.
You tipped your head back to give your friend more room to work with, getting lost in the sensations. The feelings gave way to a gentle warmth that crept up on you the longer Seonghwa kept kissing, spiking into a small fire every time he hit a sensitive spot or threw a bit of teeth into the mix. When the heat needed an escape, you’d let out gentle noises to let him know how he was making you feel. He’d show his gratitude with a hum on your skin or the softest of chuckles.
“You know—” A scrape along your jugular. “—I always thought you were gorgeous.”
Whoa. The sudden words made you fall out of your haze a bit as you stammered, “R-Really?”
“Mhm—“ Another kiss on your neck. “—so pretty.”
An unmistakable heat built up in your cheeks, taking his compliment to heart. To have someone that looked like Seonghwa saying that would have your ego riding a high for the next few days.
But for now, you’d focus on the way his lips started carefully trailing down to the swells of your breasts, occasionally brushing against the lace hiding the rest of them. You couldn’t help but watch the top of his head, ebony bangs swaying and tickling your sensitive skin as he continued with his kisses. Soon enough, the desire for more came.
“Hwa.”
The soft call made him stop and bring his head up to give you his attention. With a slight push of your chest, you encouraged, “Take it off.”
Seonghwa gave your bra a quick glance before returning his gaze to give a nod, sitting up to reach around your torso. You felt his hand fumble for a moment until the band around your ribs loosened. He went for your straps now, sliding the garment down delicately, eyes fixated on your skin as it was exposed.
The way he was staring had you feeling a mix of self-consciousness and assurance. Having one of your close friends seeing you in such a state was nerve-wracking, but the budding heat in his expression let you know that he liked what he saw. And if you were unsure about that, he was quick to remedy it by leaning down to pull a nipple into his mouth.
A small hiss left your lips at the sensation, head tipping back as Seonghwa began carefully sucking. Just when you were really enjoying it, he pulled off to ask, “Did you like that?”
It took a second to gain your voice before answering, “I did.”
Your friend’s mouth quirked at your affirmation, pleased to find something else that made you tick. He dove back in, returning his attention to the stiff bud with more pressure. A few sighs escaped as your eyes fluttered closed to enjoy it further. How quickly Seonghwa caught on to your body was mind-boggling. Whenever you were about to ask for more, he’d bring a hand up to tweak and play with the neglected side.
He continued to play with your breasts a little longer, leaving no inch untouched before he pulled off. The loss of the touch had your fingers tightening on the comforter, only easing up when he spoke, “We should get more comfortable.”
With a motion of his hand towards the head of the bed, you turned and crawled up to rest your head on the pillows. Seonghwa was quick to follow, watching as he ended up on top of you. He stopped when he was level with your chest, planting a few kisses before slowly trailing them down your torso. That and the little nips he’d throw in between made you melt into the comforter.
You couldn’t help but want to watch him in action at one point. Your stare must have been heavy as he eventually caught you.
“What?”
“Nothing, I just…I’m surprised at how thorough you’re being.”
He let out an amused huff before sitting up between your legs.
“The buildup is part of it, Y/N. It’s not just about how you feel here—” He pointed between your hips before tapping your forehead. “—it’s about what’s going on up here too.”
Wow. Never did you imagine hearing that out of anyone you were about to be intimate with. His thought process relaxed you further, giving him a nod to show that you understood.
Seonghwa looked pleased with your reaction, leaning in to give you a short but sweet kiss. He pulled back to direct his eyes on your panties before peering back up to raise a thick brow.
“Should we take these off?”
The suggestion forced your bottom lip under your teeth in anticipation, lifting your hips to let him know that you were completely on board. He took a hold of the waistband and pulled down carefully until your underwear came off your legs and ended up on the floor. The new exposure had you keeping them as close together as possible (which wasn’t much, thanks to Seonghwa sitting in between). Your friend didn’t give you the chance to feel more shy, his hands laying next to your knees to gradually slide up and towards your inner thighs, leaving a trail of goosebumps behind.
With a light push, he spread your legs further apart, revealing more of your most intimate area. Your stomach flipped at the way his eyes seemed to drink you in, feeling a thumb come up to brush the apex of your thigh.
“Pretty.”
His murmur made you want to grab a pillow and hide your face from the sudden heat washing over it. But Seonghwa interrupted your modesty by hooking his hands underneath your knees to push them back all of a sudden.
“Hwa!”
“Hold these for me.”
You couldn’t tell if it was a command or a suggestion; either way, you were quick to hold the back of your knees and keep yourself spread open. All you could do was lay there and wiggle your toes as you tried not to overthink on how exposed you were to Seonghwa now.
“Y/N.”
You peered up at him, only to be greeted with a question that you never expected to leave his mouth.
“Do you like being eaten out?”
A tremble slipped through your fingers while the grip on your legs tightened. You nodded slowly while whispering, “I do.”
Seonghwa pulled in his bottom lip before biting, focusing his gaze between your legs again.
“May I?”
God yes. Which was short for ‘god yes, eat me the fuck out like you haven’t had a meal in days’, but your nerves dwindled it down to a mini smile paired with a slow nod. It seemed to be more than enough for your friend as he grinned lightly before carefully slinking down until his face hovered in front of your dripping folds.
A conflict of emotions occurred at the view. A thrill went through you at the thought of having Seonghwa put his mouth on you, yet you were also incredibly vulnerable to him now. Did you taste alright? Did you clean up enough and—
“Oh—”
Whatever worries you were going to stew on were interrupted, thanks to the tongue delicately running up your slit. The motion had your body stiffening at first, gaping down at the head between your thighs. For a moment, your brain couldn’t comprehend that it was Seonghwa who did that, but it was quick to realize when he went and did it again, making a light sound come out.
Your friend peered up at you through his bangs, deep brown eyes watching you like a hawk.
“Too much or more?”
“It…felt nice. Just, um, build it up?”
Why did you say that as if you didn’t know how you liked to be eaten out? Now Seonghwa cocked his head, looking a little cautious.
“You don’t sound very confident about that, Y/N. Don’t be afraid to tell me what you like.”
Right. Right. This was Seonghwa, not some person who was doing this out of obligation for the end goal. How would he know how to please you if you didn’t communicate?
Taking a deep breath, you informed him, “That was fine. Just…switch between that and my clit.”
He nodded, looking more satisfied with your answer.
“Okay. Just tell me if I need to do anything different, yes?”
Your mouth curled at his consideration. “Yes, Hwa.”
Seonghwa gave your inner thigh a gentle peck before going back to what he was doing. Now you could enjoy the feeling fully, less hesitant than before. By the third lick, a moan began building up at the base of your throat, releasing when you felt the lightest of pressures on your clit.
“Mnh—”
“Is that good?”
Your legs spread further. “You can do it a little harder.”
He wasted no time in following your suggestion, circling the bud with more strength to make your back arch slightly and your nails dig into your skin.
“Yeah, just like that—”
Seonghwa continued, egged on by your words. He seemed to develop a strategy when it came to pleasuring you, leaving your eyes to flutter shut as you enjoyed the bliss.
The only time your fog was interrupted was when you heard his voice husking from below, “Knew you’d always taste so good.”
A shiver wracked your body from the mixture of praise and the light flick he gave your clit. You sat back and enjoyed the feeling of your friend’s mouth as he worked you over. When you felt something prodding your entrance, your eyes flew open, head lifting to see Seonghwa meeting you with apprehension on his beautiful face. Only when you looked closer did you see that the tip of his index finger was what pressed against you.
“Can I put it in?”
Your nod was all he needed before sliding inside, your teeth clenching at the welcome spreading. He began thrusting slowly, lighting a different kind of spark inside at the added friction. You tipped your head back again, sighing pleasantly in enjoyment.
“You sound so fucking wet—”
You squeezed involuntarily around his digit, finding that he wasn’t exaggerating. Listening close, you could hear a light squelching, your ears burning from the noise.
Seonghwa continued moving against your walls, stimulating you to the point where you instructed him to add another finger in. With a bite of his lip, he obliged, carefully adding a second one that made you moan even louder than before. How you managed to still keep a hold of your legs was impressive in its own right. But you nearly let go when you felt a brush against your G-spot.
“Ah—”
“Y/N?”
You were swift in alleviating his concern with a, “Right there, Hwa—”
He was clued into what he did, starting to rub and press in that area with more pressure. To give you something else to make your head spin, you felt him start to lap and swirl around your clit again. The two sensations intertwined seamlessly, leading to a familiar knot to start forming in your gut.
Shit. Never in your wildest dreams did you imagine Seonghwa, your close friend, would make you about to come.
But just when you were about to allow the moment to take over, he removed his tongue and stilled his fingers, making your head throw back in frustration as you groaned.
“Damn—”
Seonghwa was quick to placate you, “I’m sorry, Y/N, but it’s necessary.”
You brought your head up to shoot a large pout to let him know you didn’t see eye to eye. He gave you a chuckle in return, his free hand coming up to give your tense stomach a pat.
“Believe me, I’d love nothing more than to watch you come, but I made a promise.”
His admission, followed by the peck on the back of your thigh, made your toes curl in anticipation of what he had planned. You took some time to collect yourself, trying to ignore the pang that came from denying yourself an orgasm. Once you were ready, you let Seonghwa know.
It was like a rinse and repeat cycle, the way he kept edging you, only to stop when sweet bliss was about to arrive. Thankfully, after the third time of this, he sat up in front of you.
“I think you’re ready now.”
Mouth popping open in intrigue, you inquired, “So what should I do?”
“Just go along with it until you feel like you’re going to come. It’s going to feel like you have to pee also, but don’t fight it. Just push, okay?”
Hm. Simple enough.
“Okay.”
Seonghwa smiled at your compliance, giving your thigh a gentle rub before continuing to move the hand that made your pussy its new home. It might as well have, with the way it effortlessly slid and stroked all the spots that made you quiver. A sneaky part of your brain mused on why you never thought about getting intimate with your friend sooner.
But then you were struck with a feeling that sent an unexpected shock throughout your entire system.
What was that?
And then it happened again, only to come with an unwelcome weight below your belly button.
Fuck. Was this what he was talking about?
The longer he kept going, the more that pressure became overwhelming. It was a battle to fight with your brain to let it know that you weren’t going to have an accident. But once you got it to settle down, the feeling was so close.
You had to tell him. But your first attempt at speaking was useless, mouth parting only to let out yet another moan. With the most of your strength, you strained your vocal cords to choke out, “Seonghwa—!”
“Push.”
The desire to make the intense pressure go away was only stoked by his deep command, making something in you snap. With a strained cry, your hands flew down to tug at the sheets as bolts of lightning raced up and down your body. You faintly notice the tension in your lower belly dissipating a mite as you shook underneath Seonghwa. Remembering his instructions, you push your lower muscles as much as possible, feeling a sudden heat wash down your thighs.
You wanted to look and see if anything was happening down there, but the pleasure was overwhelming, forcing you to ride it out until your senses started to return. After what felt like eons, your body calmed down a little, although your hips would occasionally jerk.
Only when Seonghwa spoke did you become aware of your surroundings again.
“You did it.”
Those three words, teeming with pride, brought your heavy head up from the pillow. You looked up to see a pleased grin on his handsome face.
“D-Did I?”
His smile only grew wider, motioning you to take a peek between your legs. There was a delay from your brain to your body, but you managed to prop yourself up on your elbows. When you caught a glimpse, your mouth couldn’t help but pop open in shock.
The sight of your friend’s fingers stuffed in your pussy was already something to behold, but the extra details surrounding it only made it better. His hand glistened in the dim light of the room, along with your inner thighs. You had to look a little harder to notice the small wet spot on the towel, though.
“I did it…”
A swell of satisfaction built up in your chest as you gazed up at Seonghwa with amazement.
“I told you you could.”
Gratification and a hint of cockiness graced his tone, making a breathless giggle escape you.
“Wow…”
Your friend hummed pleasantly, his free hand coming up to give your hip a gentle rub.
“Did it feel good?”
Good? Good?
“It felt fucking amazing.”
Seonghwa laughed at your impassioned response. “Wonderful. I wasn’t going to take anything less.”
You matched his laugh, flopping back down onto the bed as you continued to get your bearings. As the shocks slowly wore off, your brain began racing. The feeling you had experienced just now was intense yet addicting. It seemed that your body wanted more of what your friend gave you, not helped by the fact that he still had his digits inside.
Feeling a little more prepared this time, you brought your head up.
“Seonghwa.”
He lifted a brow at your call, followed by a wiggle of your hips.
“I want to do it again.”
His face relaxed into one of understanding immediately. He waited for you to get comfortable before starting to move his fingers at a steady pace. It took less time for the heat to start building back up, making your mouth part to let consistent moans out again. The sensation built up faster than before, assisted by the suggestive words Seonghwa would throw in in between. When that urge hit again, you didn’t hesitate to speak.
“H-Hwa, I’m gonna—“
Seonghwa’s jaw tightened at your warning, clearly ready to bring you to that high point again. But rather than let you lay back like before, his other hand shot up behind your neck, cupping it with a firm grip. You were lost about his intentions until he lifted, enough to have you looking down and getting an eyeful of his fingers thrusting in and out of your cunt.
Just the sight alone pushed you even closer to the edge.
“Watch yourself make a mess, Y/N.”
And your friend’s harsh words tossed you over that cliff in no time.
You moaned loudly, making sure to keep your eyes peeled despite the urge to close them again. You’re able to push a little harder this time, getting a clear view of the small stream coming out between your legs.
“Fuck, that’s it, baby—”
Your head was unable to throw back at the pleasure coursing through your body, thanks to Seonghwa’s hold. The control he had on you was unexpected yet thrilling. You somehow managed to watch his face now, your gut flipping at the way he fixated on what was happening below. His thick brows were knitted and his lips pursed in concentration while he continued to drive his fingers back and forth.
But then he glanced up at your face, directing that heat onto you with little shame.
“Good girl. Let it all out.”
Thank God he decided to let your neck go then, because his praise made whatever control you had on yourself disappear, causing you to splay out on the bed. All you could do was lay back and let him continue to work you over and over again.
At one point, you could feel his fingers slip out and cover you, rubbing back and forth to make your mess spread out. Had this been earlier, you would have been embarrassed at the way it was getting everywhere, but the fog of the strong orgasms erased your worries. Only when one of your hands flew down to grab his wrist did Seonghwa stop, leaving you to deal with the aftershocks.
Holy fuck, your thighs could not stop shaking. And you could feel every muscle below your waist twitching.
Once a sense of relief washed over you, your fingers unwrapped from Seonghwa before your arms laid next to your head. You panted harshly as you tried to get your bearings and calm your lower half (you came this close to kicking your friend in the leg). His warm hand came up and rested on your hip, rubbing with care as he soothed you with words.
“That’s it, Y/N. You did well.”
You lulled into a sense of security, eyes lidding until your lashes brushed against each other. The temptation to drift off into sleep was incredibly strong right—
“Here.”
But then one of the water bottles appeared in front of your face, making you realize how thirsty you were all of a sudden. You gave Seonghwa a raspy ‘thank you’ before taking it, sitting up and wasting no time in drinking.
“Trust me, you’ll need it if you want to keep going.”
You chuckled around your bottle, bringing it down once you were halfway finished.
“I appreciate it, the last thing I want is dehydration.”
Your friend grinned in humor, taking a moment before questioning, “How are you feeling right now?”
An answer didn’t come right away because there were too many. But for now—
“Fan-fucking-tastic.”
Seonghwa laughed, the hand still on your thigh giving a gentle squeeze. “I created a monster, didn’t I?”
“Hey, you’re the one who offered to show me. If anything, you have to take responsibility.”
“Don’t worry, I will…once you’re back in order.”
You batted pathetically at his quip, only to rest your hand on your stomach as you continued to relax. The typical post-orgasm bliss crept up, although you ignored the desire to take a nap. Especially once you noticed the state your friend was left in.
The dim light gave you a clear view of how he strained against the fabric of his sweats, washing you over with a sense of pride.
“That seems like a problem.”
Seonghwa followed your stare, only to chuckle modestly and scratch the back of his neck.
“I’ll be fine.”
Your brow furrowed at his avoidance. “You sure?”
He was quick to shoot you a grin.
“Positive. This isn’t about me, remember?”
Oh Seonghwa. Sweet, considerate Seonghwa whose actions carried over to the bedroom as well. He probably thought you were only offering out of accountability, not knowing that it was far from that. You wanted to make him feel something tonight.
“I know, but—” You propped yourself up on your elbows. “—are you not interested?”
A wary glance. “…in?”
Time to let it out.
“In me…touching you.”
As you predicted, your friend was caught off-guard, surprise on his gorgeous face. He looked away a couple of times before he could finally meet your eyes. You nearly missed him whispering lowly, “I wouldn’t say that.”
A giddiness overtook at his answer. It gave you the nerve to say something you never imagined would leave the comfort of your mind.
“Would it be bad if I admit I want to suck you off?”
The way Seonghwa jolted visibly and hitched his breath at your blunt remark was a clear enough response.
“Y/N…”
“What? It gets me going. Besides, I want to at least give you something for making me feel so good.”
You weren’t given a verbal answer for a while, Seonghwa poking his tongue in his cheek while looking at you with contemplation.
“Are you sure?”
His question was met with a cheeky smile and a nod from you. They eased his expression into something more agreeable.
“Okay. Where do you want me?”
You sat up and scooted over, moving the towel’s wet portion before pointing at your previous spot.
“Lay down.”
Seonghwa was quick to follow your order, head resting on the pillows as he watched you reach for the last bits of fabric that was holding him back from being bare. Your fingers curled under the elastic of his pants and underwear and with a glance up and a lift of his narrow hips, you began sliding the waistbands down to reveal the effects of what had been going on.
Just the sight of his flushed and stiff cock had you letting out a low yet audible ‘fuck’, ripping his clothing off his long legs before taking your spot between them. Leaning your head in towards him, you were halted when one of his hands landed and gave the back of your neck a gentle grasp. Your eyes darted up to see him shake his head.
“Sit over here.”
Seonghwa patted the space to the left of his torso, prompting you to crawl back over him to follow his instructions. You kept your legs folded underneath your body, only to feel his hand cup your ass before lifting so you were on your knees now. As if he could hear your questioning thoughts, he muttered, “I want to keep touching you.”
All it took was his fingertips brushing your inner thighs before you leaned back down to get to work. Because of the angle, you had to wrap your fingers around him in order to reach with your mouth. Channeling all of the late night thoughts you’ve had about Seonghwa, you slipped your tongue out to run along his cock, soaking in the low groan heard from above. Turning your head, you peered at him.
“Good?”
Seonghwa blew out a short breath as he nodded, grunting, “Yes…keep going.”
Feeling more confident thanks to that, you did as he wished, making sure not to miss an inch of him. Up and down strokes turned into swirls and flicks, especially whenever you were near his tip (the sound he made from being in that area had you squirming). As soon as you heard your friend quietly begging for more, you parted your lips and began sinking down, the hand still gripping your ass digging in with a fierceness that made you jump.
“Shit, Y/N.”
But you didn’t let that deter you, stopping just when he was about to hit the back of your mouth before beginning to bob. You earned more of those beautiful noises from Seonghwa, along with fingers seeking out your soaked core, stroking and rubbing to have you vibrating around his dick with moans.
“You’re so fucking good with your mouth, baby—“
All of a sudden, you found your hands unable to stay still. Your right one slid onto his stomach, feeling the way his abdominals would tense and loosen constantly. The left one went down to his thighs, carefully running your nails along the muscled expanse. At one point, you got daring and crept up to graze his balls, earning a sudden thrust that made you gag for a second.
“Fuck, ‘m sorry.”
Seonghwa’s apology was swift yet gruff, the pleasure you were giving him obscuring any gentleness behind it. You didn’t mind, shooting him a glance and a thumbs up to signal that you were okay. As soon as you felt his hips relax and a careful pat on your bottom, you continued. His reactions to both your hands and mouth working him up were less sudden yet consistent, groans and hisses more audible than the soft music playing in the background.
When you started to feel him twitch more often and hear his breathing become erratic, you had to ask yourself where you were going to go with this. He accomplished his main goal already (multiple times), so it was only natural to finish him off before going your separate ways.
…right?
Honestly, you didn’t want to stop here.
It was incredibly dangerous to admit it, but you’ve already come this far with Seonghwa. What was the harm in taking this to the highest level? That is, if he was on the same page as you…
Carefully pulling off of him, you felt a pang of guilt at the low whine he gave from the loss of your mouth.
“Hwa.”
You could see his throat bob for a moment before he brought his head up, bangs clinging to his forehead as he looked down at you with nothing but heat.
“Y-Yes?”
Sitting up, you wiped the spit off your chin as you worked up the nerve to air out your want.
“Would you mind if…uh…”
Seonghwa tilted his head as he waited for you to continue.
“If?”
A deep breath. “If we…kept going.”
He processed your implication for a bit, his dark brown eyes widening when it clicked. His mouth parted into an ‘o’ as he forced himself to sit up.
“Y/N…we don’t have to go all the way. We can stop here.”
You couldn’t help but deflate a little at his answer, wondering if he wasn’t as interested in taking this further as you were.
“O-Oh. Do you not want to…?”
Your disappointment was prevalent in your voice, causing Seonghwa’s hands to wave in appeasement.
“No no no, that’s not it at all! I just don’t want you to feel obligated.”
Obligated? Obligated?
“Seonghwa.”
Your friend straightened up at your impassive call of his name.
“There’s no obligation if I really want to sit on your dick, now is there?”
His mouth dropped, opening and closing before he admitted sheepishly, “No…there isn’t.”
A smile graced your lips as you patted his leg.
“All I need to know is if we’re on the same page.”
Seonghwa sobered up at your remark, chewing on his lower lip as he seemed to debate his answer. His eyes went to the hand on his thigh for what felt like a while. Finally, he looked back up at your face, meeting your gaze with a conviction that wasn’t there before.
“We are.”
To say your heart did a somersault would be an understatement.
“So…you want to keep going?”
He nodded firmly. “I do.”
You couldn’t help but want to egg him on, to make sure this was something he completely wanted.
“How bad?”
What you got was Seonghwa adopting an expression that you were becoming familiar with today as he took a hold of your chin, pulling you close to his face before husking, “How bad? I don’t want you to leave this bed until I have you squirting and screaming on my cock, that’s how bad.”
Fuck. This was what you got for poking the bear. Now you were rendered speechless and even more needy than before. Your reaction brought a devious smirk to his lips.
“Does that answer your question?”
You were only capable of nodding and leaning in to say, “It sure does.”
It was unclear who started it first, but the two of you ended up in a passionate kiss, hands roaming each other’s bodies in the meantime. Only when you were desperate for air did it break, Seonghwa giving your waist a squeeze before getting up to stand next to the bed.
“Lay down, Y/N.”
You quickly followed directions, spreading the towel back out to be safe and laying on your back like earlier. He grabbed one of the pillows next to your head and motioned you to lift your hips, placing it underneath to have them at a slight angle. You welcomed the extra cushion, watching as he turned and went into his nightstand to search for what you assumed were his condoms. But he didn’t produce them right away, frowning slightly when he continued to rummage around in confusion.
You appreciated his caution, but…
“We don’t have to use that.”
Seonghwa paused, giving you a dumbfounded look.
“What…? Y/N.”
The skepticism in his tone forced you to meet his wary stare with a serious one.
“Really, Seonghwa, it’s fine. I’m clean and on the pill.”
“You are? Well…I’m safe too, I haven’t been with anyone for a while now.”
That was all you needed. Reaching out, you gave his hand a careful tug.
“Then get back in this bed so you can fuck me.”
Your direct words made him swear under his breath before climbing on and over you, slotting himself between your legs as you spread them. You brought your hands up to rest on his lower back, wanting to be as close as possible. Seonghwa reached down to take a hold of his cock and line himself up with your opening. When you felt him run his tip along your sensitive skin, you hissed and bucked your hips.
“Please…”
Biting his lip, he started entering. Your immediate reaction to the intrusion was hitched breathing and a slight dig of your nails. You must have had the dumbest look on your face right now, but Seonghwa had an equally dense expression as he slid into you. Only when he was mostly sheathed did you attempt to regain composure.
“You okay?”
Seonghwa’s raspy voice gave a small boost to your ego as it was clear he was struggling to acclimate to the sensation as well.
“Peachy. You?”
He laughed shortly at your strained pep. “Just try not to move for a bit, okay?”
You let out a giggle, bringing a finger up to tap his nose.
“Yes sir.”
After the light twitch you felt him give inside, you both laid still to adjust. Something about laying in Seonghwa’s bed together with nothing but the sounds of sensual music and your breathing combined made an odd warmth build in your chest. The lips that came down to plant tiny kisses all over your jaw and neck didn’t help stifle that feeling.
Soon enough, you were ready to move on.
“You good, Hwa?”
Your friend brought his head up, looking less apprehensive than before, a heat in his dark eyes.
“Yes. You?”
A nod was all that was needed.
“How do you want it?”
Honestly? At this point, you didn’t have a preference. You just wanted to experience more of your friend’s magic touch.
With your knees pressing closer to him, you breathed, “However you like.”
Seonghwa reacted to your offer with another twitch and a clench of his jaw. Giving you a look as if to say ‘you asked for it’, he balanced himself on his elbows before pulling his hips back, quickly replacing himself with a sharp exhale. The act had you making a sound of your own as well, only becoming louder when he sunk in again.
“Seonghwa—”
His dark eyes flickered up to yours.
“Good?”
“Y-Yeah.”
Lips quirking, he continued, building up a rhythm that started sending waves of gratification throughout your body. You were glad he kept the tempo moderate, testing what made you moan and tighten your legs around him. The pillow sitting underneath you did wonders as well, allowing him to reach areas that would’ve been more difficult without it. The way he cants his hips up has you searching for breath as he was getting closer and closer to stroking against that sweet spot, having you crying out all of a sudden when he finally pressed into it.
“Fuck—”
A throaty hum sounded above you before Seonghwa responded, “You like that, baby?”
Would you ever get used to him calling you that? Probably not, as an unmistakable tremble ran through you.
“Yes, Hwa…keep doing that.”
Seonghwa was quick to honor your wish, pumping in a way that had an unmistakably lewd sound echoing from between your hips. Fuck, when’s the last time you got this wet? You didn’t have any opportunity to think further as you began to hear heavy whispers all of a sudden.
“You’re even more gorgeous like this.”
“God, Y/N— Feel so fucking good!”
“You take me so well—”
Your head was spinning with all of the stimulation and you needed an outlet for the ball of energy building up inside you, so you grabbed onto the back of his neck to tug him down into a fiery kiss. Tongues were quick to seek each other out and tangle as Seonghwa kept fucking you thoroughly. Before you could realize, the same pressure from when he was fingering you made a comeback, slowly increasing until it was becoming too much.
You tried to pull away to warn your friend, only for him to keep capturing your mouth with his. The need coming from him was adorable, but you had to let him know. When you managed to part without him diving in immediately, you swiftly muttered ‘gonna come’, hoping he heard. But when the feeling hit your breaking point and your nails scraped his skin, he still wouldn’t let up.
Just as your orgasm was about to take you over, you frantically placed one of your hands between your sweat-soaked stomachs. A push to his lower abdomen forced Seonghwa to pull out, making you spray your come all over his cock with a sharp cry. The quivers immediately take over afterward, your eyes squeezing shut as you do your best to calm your muscles down, missing the way the man above you gaped down with shock.
He had gotten so caught up in you that the sudden withdrawal caught him off-guard. Everything started sinking in the longer he stared.
You just squirted on him.
Something about watching drops of your come roll off his cock makes him go a little crazy. He’s quick to grasp himself and slide back into you, his thrusts returning with a hint of urgency. Having him stimulating your still pulsating walls pulled sharp cries from your agape mouth, fingers digging into his back muscles.
“S-Seonghwa, shit—”
“Look at you—“ A nip to your bottom lip. “—said you couldn’t do it and now you’re just gushing everywhere.”
Oh…well, he did have a point. But you simply huffed and wrapped your legs tighter around his slender waist.
“More. Go harder.”
A guttural curse left Seonghwa, who quickly did as you asked, resulting in you gripping onto his shoulders now and becoming more vocal.
“Yes yes, fuck me just like that—“
He shook his head at your encouragement, rasping, “Who would have imagined that my lovely friend would have such a filthy mouth?”
You couldn’t help but laugh breathlessly. “It happens when I get fucked well.”
And fucked well, indeed. Seonghwa kept up the pace that was making your body sing, taking the opportunity every once in a while to seize your lips into a searing kiss. You appreciated the continued thoroughness from him, meeting him with the same energy by occasionally rolling your hips up or keening your praise. The words out of your agape mouth were only halted when you felt his hand slip between your bodies to give your throbbing bud a calculated swipe or two.
“Hwa—“
Something about the way you say his name makes his hand pull away all of a sudden. But your whine of withdrawal was interrupted when you felt the Earth spinning, finding yourself perched on his lap now. The change of position had you blinking owlishly.
That and the fact that the towel he had spread out had gotten awkwardly tangled between your legs.
“Hwa, the—”
Yet he was quick to remedy it by snatching the terrycloth and tossing it to the side.
“Fuck it, that’s what the laundromat is for.”
Your hand came up to cover the giggle that wanted to escape, humored by Seonghwa’s sudden one-eighty concerning his bedding. Although your giddiness died down swiftly once you got a good look at his appearance.
You know for a fact that your brain, even at its most creative point, would never have been able to conjure a sight as breathtaking as this.
Seonghwa flushed in multiple areas, sun-kissed skin glistening in the lamp light with sweat and chest heaving as he looked up at you like a man starved. All because of you.
This was an achievement that you’d be proud of for a long time.
“Feeling good?”
There was a slight delay to his response as he blinked.
“I…of course.”
You delivered a satisfied grin.
“Good. I didn’t want to disappoint you.”
The man underneath you merely laughed and shook his head, seeing your statement as silly.
“Saying yes to me was more than enough, sweetheart.”
As if he couldn’t leave you even more sheepish, he took one of your hands and planted his lips on the back of it. The intimate touch cooled down your burst of confidence, melting into modesty now. You only loosened your hand to reach up and brush back the inky strands plastered to his forehead.
“It’s my pleasure. Seeing you like this is something that I never thought I needed.”
Seonghwa’s mouth dropped in awe at your admission and you swore you saw his cheeks become redder.
“Y/N…”
Before you could lose your stride, you leaned down, hovering above his face as you whispered, “Tell me how I can keep it up.”
What you got next was a firm grip on your hips and a low growl.
“Ride me.”
And so you do.
You hold onto the headboard and Seonghwa’s shoulder before giving him the ride of his life. You experiment with different angles, planting your feet and leaning forward at one point or using your knees to swivel your hips quickly. Whatever would make the man underneath curse or dig his fingers into your damp skin.
“So fucking good, Y/N—“
Sinking down on his cock continuously wasn’t enough after a certain point. Between the sounds of your skin clapping against his, you croaked out, “Touch me, please— Oh fuck—“
Seonghwa wasted no time in fulfilling your wish, hands roaming everywhere on your body. From cupping your bouncing breasts to pinching your stiff nipples to grabbing your ass, he made sure to be as thorough as possible. Only when he decided to start circling your clit did your rhythm falter, your upper half bowing forward.
“Oh my— Fuck, Seonghwa!”
The gravelly chuckle he let out should have been illegal. “Like that, sweetheart?”
“Y-Yes— Don’t stop.”
And so he continued stimulating you to the point that your head was starting to spin from pleasure overload. Before you realized it, you were starting to squeeze him often, the beginnings of yet another orgasm about to wash over you. You were too occupied in making all sorts of noises with your mouth to give your friend a heads up, though he didn’t seem to need it as he called you out all of a sudden.
“You keep getting tight on me—” Seonghwa’s free hand reached around to give your bottom a smack that caught you by surprise. “—go on, Y/N. Make a mess on my cock.”
Was it what he said or the spank that triggered you? There was no point in stewing over it as either one was responsible for pushing you over the edge, a whine coming out as your body stilled and shook above him.
“There you go…that’s my girl.”
Somehow you were able to hear his praise, making your stomach flip even harder than it already was. When your tremors died down, you rested your forehead on his afterward, hoping he didn’t mind being used for support. The gentle rubbing on your hips that came eased your worries. Once you got your bearings, you couldn’t help but let your eyes trail down, not at all surprised to see the mess you left on his lower stomach.
You laughed airily, “I’m just ruining your sheets.”
Seonghwa merely hummed with a lack of offense, giving you a light pat.
“It’s worth it.”
He leaned up to steal another kiss from you, gentler compared to the most recent ones. But during the lip lock, you could feel weariness take over, making you blow out a breath after breaking the contact.
“Fuck, I’m exhausted all of a sudden.”
Your friend frowned at your words, reaching up and brushing some hair out of your face. “Are you going to be okay?”
“Mhm. Just give me a minute or two.”
Your body was quick to betray you, a yawn coming out immediately after. It didn’t help that Seonghwa laughed.
“I don’t know, Y/N, you look like you’re ready for bed.”
“Ugh, I’m not! Besides, you haven't come yet, I can’t leave you hanging like that.”
Seonghwa was quick to raise a brow, looking a little more strict now.
“So? Really, if you can’t take anymore, we can stop. I’ll just take care of myself.”
You appreciated his concern, but you just weren’t having it. This was going to end with a bang. The only way to make him understand was to hold his handsome face between your hands and give him a relentless stare.
“Seonghwa, I can keep going, I promise. I’m doing this all because I want to and this is no exception. As long as you don’t mind doing most of the work for me?“
As much as he fussed over you at times, you had to alleviate his concern so he wouldn’t worry his head off completely. Now was one of those instances and the longer you kept eye contact, the more he seemed to become at ease.
“Okay.”
The sweet smile you gave him erased whatever lingered, his lips curling softly. He leaned up to give you a peck, sitting up and wrapping his arms around your waist. With a heads up, he maneuvered you onto your back, making sure to keep himself housed inside. To your surprise, Seonghwa didn’t begin moving immediately. Thinking he needed some encouragement, you linked your legs around his hips and gave a light tug.
A sharp inhale was all you received before he returned to thrusting again.
It became clear to you a short while in that he held off due to being closer than you realized. His breathing was more uneven and his kisses became borderline desperate, only making your stomach flip in delight at seeing this man in such a state.
“Y/N, I’m—”
Seonghwa’s sudden rasp caught you off-guard, noticing how his brows knitted together and he struggled to keep himself composed. To see that he was the one getting beaten with pleasure now had you wanting to give him a taste of his own medicine.
With a deceptively curious expression, you ran your nails up and down his sweat-soaked back before leaning into his ear to whisper, “Gonna come for me, Hwa?”
A thrill ran down your spine at the shudder you felt him give as he nodded quickly. Out of nowhere, a sinful idea came into your head. What you were about to say was so out of pocket, even for your usual bedroom talk, but Seonghwa just seemed to bring the worst out of you today.
And so you licked your lips and decided to husk, “Come inside me.”
You could hear your friend let out an audible gasp, hips stuttering in complete bewilderment. You were concerned that you had taken it too far, as you didn’t hear him respond for a moment. But then his forehead landed on yours and he locked his blazing irises with your own, looking borderline feral. His thrusts also took their speed up a notch, making you whine at the increase in friction.
“I’m going to fill this pussy up, make it even wetter—”
His growl made you tremble for a second, but you remained steady otherwise.
“Like you’ve always wanted to do?”
Your question made Seonghwa stare at you for a bit, broken by a throaty chuckle as he leaned in to brush his lips against the shell of your ear.
“You have no fucking idea, Y/N—“
With a nip to the skin, there were no more words exchanged as your bodies continued working together in tandem. You had to admit; there was a part of you that didn’t want this to end. You could honestly stay in this room and this bed with Seonghwa a little longer.
Just the two of you, indulging in each other.
But your unrealistic wish was broken when you felt him stiffen suddenly, letting out a heated groan as you felt him shake above you. The strong twitching of his cock against your walls was quickly followed by a warmth that coated them. Feeling him spill inside gave you the mildest of orgasms, manifesting in the most minuscule of tremors in your lower body. You couldn’t help but let your own come out a bit at the sensation, biting your lip at the way Seonghwa groaned from the feeling.
Once he finally calmed down, he carefully slid out to roll off of you and onto his back, leaving the littlest of spaces between your bodies. Your eyes remained on him as he caught his breath, looking over his disheveled appearance with wonder.
His lightly tanned skin reddened and shining with exertion. Eyelids shut. Chest rising and falling quickly. And yet, he still looked as stunning as ever.
Not fair.
But you smiled anyways, realizing another privilege was checked off your list; seeing Park Seonghwa looking fucked out as all hell.
“All better now that you proved me wrong?”
He gave a weak laugh.
“Much better.”
Even exhaustion couldn’t dim down his sass.
You gave his side a playful swat in return, receiving a snicker. The laugh died down, leaving a comfortable silence paired with a song that you often had on repeat. You were going to give Seonghwa some room to recover, but the more you mulled over it, the more you wanted to have some type of contact with him again.
So you rolled onto your side and scooted closer, letting your leg brush against his faintly. The touch made his eyes open, head turning slowly to gaze at you. He watched you for a moment, only for a pleasant smile to come across his lips.
“Hello.”
You couldn’t hold back your grin.
“Hi.”
Seonghwa kept his eyes on yours, only to bite his lip after a bit, looking less sure than earlier.
“Thanks for…entertaining me.”
You couldn’t help but giggle at his sudden shyness. Where was the demon from before?
“My pleasure. Honestly, I wouldn’t mind doing this again with you.”
Your confession pulled rapid-fire blinking from your friend, his cheeks turning scarlet now.
“R-Really?”
“Mhm. Though you might want to get a mattress protector or something next time.”
Your suggestion eased his awe, laughing as he responded, “I will keep that in mind. Or we could try it at your place next?”
“And mess up my good sheets? No way!”
One of his brows raised. “And you think my sheets aren’t good?”
“I didn’t say that— Ugh.”
You went to give his chest a light swat, only to find its impact weaker than expected, thanks to the sudden wave of fatigue. The halfhearted attempt only made him giggle with mischief.
“Forget it, I’m too fucked out to argue with you, Hwa.”
Seonghwa laughed quietly, reaching out to pull you close and rest your head on his chest, making your heart skip.
“Then why don’t we just take it easy for a moment before cleaning up, hm?”
His offer was so tempting, although maybe you should get up right away. But the idea became enticing the longer you laid on him, melting into his warm touch.
Fuck it.
“Fine, but don’t let me fall asleep, okay?”
Not that you were completely against it.
Seonghwa hummed in understanding, the vibration felt against your cheek. Your eyelids lowered halfway, your body falling into a state of relaxation. Between the music, his steadying heartbeat and the breathing that slowly evened out, you could already guess that staying awake would have been impossible.
Before you could possibly doze off, you processed everything that had occurred since you stepped foot in this apartment today. Seonghwa had shown you a side that you never dreamed of seeing, only thought about while you were in the comfort of your own private space. And they were thoughts that you convinced yourself would never come true.
But here you were, naked in the same bed that you often sat on and watched your friend play Animal Crossing (paired with comments from you on how Tom Nook was the biggest crook).
The biggest thing that stuck with you was how Seonghwa seemed to want you just as much, shown in the way he took care of every one of your needs. His patience with figuring out what made you tick and making sure you were consistently comfortable was more than you expected. Should you have anticipated any less from him, though?
A pleasant ball of warmth started forming in your chest while the tiniest of smiles graced your lips.
No, you shouldn’t have.
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©bangtanintotheroom, 2024. Crossposted to AO3. Do not repost to other sites or copy without permission.
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moondirti · 1 month
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Your ghostsoap x preg!reader!!??? I'm in love I need more of this. You have more thoughts for that universe? I just fell in love with your writing.
Let me camp in this corner of your blog, I'm friendly and don't bite (⁠~⁠ ̄⁠³⁠ ̄⁠)⁠~
they're all i've been able to think about all day. of course i have more to say <3 if you're curious, anon is referring to this, which should be read before this part.
tags: DARK FIC. manipulation. vehicle tampering. planned abduction. pregnant fem!reader. established ghostsoap – who are not the fathers but would definitely like to be. mentions of somnophilia
Delusional as they might be, it's hard to justify something as egregious as blunt-force kidnapping. Though it briefly occurs to Simon – to pluck you from the parking lot and drive off the hour after they decide to keep you – the logistics don't iron out. Of chief concern, you're six months pregnant. What they'd typically use for POW's thus become's inconsiderable for you; Johnny's the wiz, but even he knows the effects chloroform can have on a foetus. The alternative isn't any better, either – his partner just balks at the idea of tying you up and throwing you in the trunk. (She'll never git ower it, Si. Dae ye want her tae hate us?)
So, things unfold in a far subtler manner.
They go home that night they first meet you. Can't coordinate without resting on it, they rationalise, without scoping their place to assure it's suitable for their soon-to-be-mother. They tuck away the knives laying on random countertops, air out the quilts gifted to them by Johnny's ma in an attempt to make their room cozier. And when they sleep, they dream of you tucked in between them, knocked out, sex-drunk. Dressed in nothing but a shirt, cunt bared for either of them to toy with throughout the night.
Hours upon hours later, well into noon the next day, Simon wakes to find his boy rutting into his thigh, still somewhat comatose, and sneaks a rough hand into his boxers to tug the tension out of the poor thing. They only get up as the fissures of dusk begin to spread across the sky, loading their car with a toolbox and making the drive back to The Dahlia, staking out in the parking lot as they wait for you to arrive for your shift.
(Johnny had deployed the old charm as you brought out their food in two baggies last night, disguising the trap with a lilting laugh as he audibly wondered why you picked up such a late shift.
You’d only shrugged and said you preferred to work nights.)
Sure enough, you pull up in a beat-up Kia at 2200, fussing with your bag as you stumble to the back entrance of the roadhouse.
"Forgot to lock it." He mutters, following your form until it disappears from view. Johnny only frowns, tightening his fingers over his thumb. A little nervous tick.
"Should we be doin' this?"
"And what is this?" Simon turns to appraise the scotsman, larger hand enveloping his, calloused fingertips smoothing over scarred knuckles. "Y'think they'd be kinder to 'er? The type of scum we know grace this earth? It's a wonder she made i' this far, Johnny."
He isn't convinced.
"Look a' me." Blue eyes widen to meet his, dark as their owner battles intuitions that have always been straighter than the Ghosts'. "Wanna give 'er a good life, yeah?"
"Aye. The best."
"Would she be so convinced?" But he knows the answer. They both saw the way you withdrew after being hit on, losing the effusiveness you initially greeted them with. Avoidant. Classic case of hyper-competency, perhaps the very reason you put up with such shitty circumstances to begin with. A stubborn knot they'll have to undo themselves.
And Johnny likes the challenge.
"Lass's got something tae prove." Moments pass in silence. Then: "Ah’ll get th' wire."
"Atta' boy."
They only enter the establishment an hour before the end of your shift. It’s 0600 and space is sleepy. At a point that had escaped their notice, someone had made the choice to shut the overhead fluorescents, and so all that functions to illuminate the dinette is the pale dawn outside. Johnny finds he prefers it like this, grumbling a tired endorsement, before branching off in search of the bathroom, hand rubbing the sore column of his throat.
The softening mass in his pants jumps once Simon catches sight of you, balancing two trays in one hand as you wipe down the serving hatch. He doesn’t need to say anything. You catch the dark blur of him in the corner of your eye, shuffling into a booth, where he occupies an entire side with the mere spread of his legs.
“Hello again. Just you today?” You’re twirling your pen, cradling your belly, and he notes the perpetual shadow cast under your eyes. Poor pet.
He shakes his head, then cocks it toward the loo. “Think he’ll have a go at the toastie today.”
“Good choice. Hard to fuck up.” You give him a tired smile. “And for you?”
“M’good.”
“You sure? Look like you’ve been on the road again, and-" You pause, the water of your eyes rippling as you appraise his mask. Something seems to click just then, because you nod and tuck your notepad away. “I’ll ask again at the end. Maybe you’ll want something to-go.”
In the end, they do take something to go.
Not as greasy as the toastie Johnny spends the hour tearing into, glossing the pads of his fingers with oil. Nor as sour as the coffee he sipped on last night, burnt and way past freshness, just like you’d warned them about. But a much, much sweeter keepsake. Something that’ll sate them for much longer.
You’ve already clocked out once they leave The Dahlia, faces grim but as innocent as they can possibly muster. Sure enough, you’re out standing by your car, wiping tears with the back of your hand. They’re close enough that they can catch snippets of your conversation on the phone (No, I don’t– and It is old but never–).
They wait until you grow desperate, hiccuping – Don’t have that kind of money. Please – before intervening.
“Hey. What’s the matter, hen?” Johnny approaches first, concern no faux thing, smoothing a hand down your arm. What Simon said earlier comes back around (Wanna give 'er a good life?) and his chest tightens at the sheer despair he sees etched across your face. You shouldn’t be this stressed about anything this far along, should have someone taking care of you.
He, they, can be that for you. Could give you everything you ask for and more.
“M-my car. I-I don’t– I don’t know what’s wr-wrong with it, and–”
“Shhh, issalright. Not starting, eh?”
“No. And I have to- to get home before… before–”
Simon steps in, crowding you against the side of your car. You don’t have it in you to look for the red flags; the glances they throw one another, the subtle crinkle in the masked one’s eyes as he smiles. No, you don’t– can’t consider it dangerous. Not when these two wonderfully kind men, who tipped you 100% of their bill both times they came in, are one of your only means of getting help.
“Where do you live? We’ll drive ya if it’s on our way.” A lie. They’ll drive you regardless, and you won’t be taken home.
“Oh- no. That’s okay, really. I’ll just a-ask my boss if I can get a sub on my pay, and–”
Johnny smooths a finger across your cheek.
“Nonsense, hen. It’ll be a skoosh.”
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deadghosy · 2 months
Text
HAZBIN HOTEL X ROBLOX NOOB! READER
prompt: your best friend John Doe hacked you into a universe where hell is much different in your mind
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“OOF-” you said as you press the buttons on your ps5. A portal opens as blocky person with yellow skin exits out of the portal looking at you. “JD!” You said with a “:P” face. “noob…you get to get out the house more…” John Doe said with a static voice as he picked up your bloxy body and thrown you into a portal as you kept smiling
“:) yay I’m falling.” You said out loud as you felt yourself fall in the air. You fell but landed on your feet like always. You look around to see that it smell like must, ass, and most importantly fire. You walked around just smiling as demons and sinners looked as if you were some weirdo…..
You came across the hotel and applied for a job to be the schedule manager. You got a red outfit to match vaggie and Charlie as you grab a flat board and started to write who gets to do what.
Noob! Reader is the type to pull out a cannon out of fucking no where and fuck someone’s life up🦆(a/n: pinkie pie type shit)
I can see Alastor watching you do a r6 dance as he just looked at you weirdly with a strained smile. You literally said out loud “/E DANCE!” And started to dance 😭
Lucifer got scared because he accidentally let you dove off a roof…but you respawned with a blue force field around you making Lucifer think you were an angel.
You love the egg boiz as they love you too! You do color sheets with them as Pentious brings you guys some cookies like a mom💗
You had onetime pulled a chainsaw out because husk said he needed to get a haircut on his fur. You literally pullled it out of no while husk jolted looking at your crazed face as you reved it up.
“You said you needed a hair cut!!” “I SAID HAIR CUT! NOT END MY LIFE YOU FUCKER!” Husk yells back as you chase him smiling like “:D” with the chainsaw. It was giving scooby doo as you kept chasing him.
Lucifer would be weirded out with Noob as noob just sticks their tongue out like the :P face while Lucifer pokes you curious about your game like box body.
I imagine noob! Reader showing Charlie a picture of bacon hair boy who is doing orange justice in the back. “Oh is that your friend?” Charlie says with a nervous smile at how your friend’s hair literally looks like bacon or is. You nodded excitedly as you wave your phone happily at bacon hair boy.
You blasted “it’s raining tacos” outside of the Vee’s tower when learning your friends had opps in there. So you wanted to annoy them.
This lasted for 2 days until vaggie had found you and took you home as you screamed out the song LOUD AND PROUD
I can imagine Lucifer making you a duck hat that says “don’t duck with me!” It’s so cute 🦆
I headcannon noob!reader to be the most dangerous being in hell as they literally been to every other gun and fighting game of the roblox universe.
NOOB SOLOS‼️‼️🔥
You know those badass Roblox games with those cool combat moves? That’s what you use. 🤨
You grabbed a sinner’s face and run dragging their body in the ground with a smile. You lifted your arm and swing them around as they flew to who knows where as the crew behind you had an either shocked or entertained face.
One time Charlie and you were shopping in a mall and you peaked over the boarder to keep people from falling. “I wonder if I can die from this height.” “NOOB NO-” that’s when you had to get a kid leash on you anytime you go out with the staff.
It was a nice day as Angel was throwing knives to increase his skills. You walked by him curiously grabbing two knives and throwing them at the same time. Making it hit the bullseye as Angel looked at you shock.
“Whoa kid, how did you learn to do that?” Angel asked pulling out the knives you made in the bullseye. “I was murder once!” You said with a happy smile as you walked away. Angel dust has the most confused face ever(picture below)
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I headcannon noob!reader to be like Kirby. So like noob pulls out a knife to be murder, and then they could pull out a gun as Sheriff✨🦆
“Pew pew pew” you said as you stood on the balcony of the hotel as you shot at random sinners. Alastor appeared behind you confused but laughs at the misery of the sinner running when a missed shot almost killed them.
One time Angel gave you a Tommy gun not suspecting you know how to use it….you literally started to blast sinners away-
You SHOT AN OLD LADY ALSO😨
yeah Angel never gave you his Tommy gun ever again.
As you stayed in hell, you didn’t know that you would be spied on by the angels as Adam laughs at how chaotic and naive you are.
You’re so use to bullshit in Roblox you just stand there like “🧍🏾” as shit goes on. Literally when Charlie was panicking when the extermination was due in 6 months
During a uno game you ate a card as husk was trying to win but forfeited in anger as you screamed out uno. Leaving the missing card out of your mouth….it got quiet so quick as husk chased after you.
Niffty finds you amazing as you both have crazed tendencies. You both literally cause made chaos around places 🤭
YOU USE YOUR ADOPT ME SCAMMING SKILLS TO SCAM PEOPLE 😭😭 I CAN SEE THIS
The overlords are confused when they see Lucifer bring you to a meeting for once. You just sat there eating a taco. “Ello.” You said waving your blocky arm at them.
When watching the horror movies with the crew, you don’t react at all with Alastor as you been in lots of horror games with that one guy named Guest…you miss home and him.
I headcannon that you once accidentally summoned John Doe because you sneezed and he literally stood there as you hugged him. The rest of the crew was confused thinking he was your brother.
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hunnylagoon · 4 months
Text
Right Where You Left Me
Pt 2: Jailbird
Ellie Williams x reader
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I want to write a poem about you but I’m afraid it won’t be enough. I almost feel ashamed that I want you to fit into a word because we both know that you are beyond anything that can be put on paper.
Premise: You and Ellie were childhood friends before you drifted apart. Funny thing about soulmates is that they tend to find there way back to each other. While you both visit home for winter break, events unfold and it is no longer possible to avoid each other.
Warnings: Angst / homophobia / brief violence / reader has religious issues
Part one here!
Part three here!
Part four here!
I may have been wrong to say that I could never hate Ellie. Fuck she was vicious, in the most passive-aggressive way too. She's so sly about it that I can't even get mad without seeming irrational.
Winter break finally rolled around and I had yet to make any progress with Ellie it was whatever the opposite of progress is. If she wanted to hate me, that was fine, I could do the same, I could be petty. It's now December and all of this bullshit started in September, she could hardly be courteous.
Fuck her.
I had survived mid-terms and finals but the way Ellie was acting had me skipping happily towards the edge. She will wash a whole sink of dishes and leave just my fork, or Venmo request me if I ate one of her grapes. Everything had gotten worse when Dina, Abby, and Cat all left to visit their families for winter break leaving just Ellie and I, without the girls there to hold us to the house rules we were at each other's throats.
She was foaming at the fucking mouth to tear me apart. There was no level-headed Abby or fun-loving Dina, not even Cat who was just mellow. Just me and Ellie verbally abusing each other. "Fuck off, with your wild animal teeth," I spat, slamming the dish cupboard closed with a loud thud.
"Wild animal teeth?" She repeats "Wow, you're getting creative, I'll give you that," Ellie's gaze held a certain bitterness "Heard you were on your knees again last night and I don't mean praying."
My eye almost twitches at her words and it takes everything in me not to throw a ceramic bowl at her. I hated her, I hated her freckled face, and eyes as sharp as knives, just hearing her raspy voice, and seeing her sardonic smile made me want to keel over and let the earth wrap me in her flourishing greenery. I often wanted that to happen. I was trying to refrain from going home as I didn't want to spend the entire break with my family but I was starting to think nothing was better than this, I was set to leave the following day (Christmas Eve) anyway but I was seconds away from grabbing my bag and jumping into my car. "Can you just learn to be fucking civil?"
"Why would-
"Because we were sixteen years old when that stupid shit happened!" I spat "You're holding a grudge from when we were sixteen," I reiterated, searching her features for some sign that I'd gotten through to her.
"It's not like you've changed since any of that happened." She stands, unnervingly calm on the other side of the kitchen island. "You were always awful since we were young, always crying, always emotional, always explosive, my dad said you're like a birch tree, one spark and you burst into flames."
"Fuck off."
"You always had to have the attention," Her eyebrows furrow "Nothing was your fault, blame being fucking erratic and insane on your parents."
"You don't know my parents half as well as you think you do."
"What don't I know about them? They've been in my life as long as you have."
"Ellie, stop," I say, suddenly I'm taken away from the mood to fight, I just want to scream into my pillow.
"What?" She asks "You're going to say some shit like 'they aren't loving'  or 'you wouldn't get it' Please, enlighten me, what wouldn't I get?" She moves closer just an inch or so "Wow, your life sounds so hard, you have two parents who love each other and a huge fucking house, oh shit," Sarcasm drips from her tone "Maybe it's that trust fund that's taking a toll on you."
"Please, stop."
"You could commit every crime known to man and you would still be their pride and joy, there is nothing you could say or do that would make them hate you-
"Here we go with your 'life is so fucking hard and I'm edgy and indie and I have a sad backstory that I'll bring up every second sentence even though I was seven when it happened' " I mock her.
She bites the inside of her cheek and I can tell that I've struck a nerve "You know when my lease-
"Don't even worry about it," I move out from the kitchen and begin towards my room, Ellie's eyes are trailing me "The minute my lease is up, I'm packing my shit and moving into student housing so I won't have to look at your fucking face while I'm eating!" I slam my bedroom door behind me.
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I left that night, I couldn't bear the sound of her guitar strums, so repetitive it made me want to slam my head through the drywall.
You better believe that I cried my entire way home while blasting Julien Baker. My mother was pleasantly surprised to see me at her doorstep a day early, I knew Ellie would be coming down sometime tomorrow to spend the Holidays with her family, I didn't know when, I just knew that I didn't want to see her.
I never even told my parents that Ellie was my roommate and they hadn't heard it from Joel as they drifted when Ellie and I were fifteen.
My bedroom was exactly how I left, I cuddled into my twin bed that night sinking into the absolute silence of the the snowfall, with my dog Dusty curled at my side. I always loved the snow, the way it acted as soundproofing for the earth, when I was little I would just sit in the backyard so I could hear the birds sing in their purest and truest form.
Christmas Eve was dull to begin with, to say the least; my mom made Christmas tree-shaped waffles as she did every year, I was then dragged to an excruciatingly long church sermon. When we returned home I was sent to shovel the driveway, turns out visiting home from college doesn't excuse you from chores. I knew Ellie had arrived when I saw her grey sedan in Joel's driveway as well as Tommy's Range Rover. Bundled up in mittens and a hand-knitted scarf that Naomi gave to me I felt really tough giving the middle finger to Ellie wherever she was in Joel's house.
"What the fuck are you doing?" Elijah was cackling in the doorway. Dusty I happily bounding through the snow, paying to mind to my brother.
I immediately dropped my arm, trying to play nonchalantly "Uh, shoveling the driveway?"
His laughter only grew "You look so stupid," He huffed between cackles "You're standing in a foot of snow in the driveway giving Mr. Miller's house the middle finger in your cute little mitts."
"Say that louder, no one could hear you," I say, sarcastically.
"Hear ye, hear ye-
My eyes go wide and I drop the shovel to form a snowball and deck it at my brother "Shut up!"
"Ow!" He flinches, and his track and field hoodie from high school is now covered in powdered sleet. "Whatever," He yanks his hoodie off to shake the snow off of it "Just finish the driveway so we can watch a movie or something, I haven't seen you in months, Naomi and Aaron haven't shut up about you all holiday break."
I give him a mitted thumbs up before I try to speed run the shovelling, albeit slipping on black ice more than a few times. When I came back inside, I needed to change, my parka was dripping with snow that had melted into water.
I bundle up into sweatpants and an old soccer t-shirt. Being in my old room digs up memories pinned on my wall with bright thumbtacks year after year of photos of my soccer team, in every single one Ellie and I have our arms slung over each other. We're smiling wide and not focusing on the camera but on one another. I tear the picture away from the thumbtacks and throw them into a random shoe box that sits at the bottom of my closet. After that, I take down every artifact I have of Ellie, the drawings she made me, drafts of songs we wrote together, and t-shirts she left in my drawers, I throw it all into a Rubbermaid storage bin.
Though I leave the little wood carvings that Joel made for me alone.
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My family's famous Christmas Eve dinner rolled around and I couldn't believe how excited I was, I'm not the best cook and despite me and my mother going through spats every other day, she was one hell of a good chef and I had spent months craving her honey roasted carrots and creamy mashed potatoes.
Please don't judge me when I say this, but we are the family that dresses up for dinners at home. Nothing black tie, just something a little dapper, one time I wore jeans to our family dinner and I was grounded for a week.
I finished zipping up my white sundress and I let my little sister tie a matching bow into my hair, when she saw what I was wearing she changed into her white dress which was ankle length while mine fell right above my knees.
"Oh, my sweet girls are matching again," My mom fawns over us "Let me get a picture of this cute little moment," I smile for the picture, and Naomi does the same, hooking an arm around my midriff. "Adorable," Mom looks at the picture before tucking her phone into her pocket "Now girls, please set the table."
Even though I hadn't been at home for months, setting the table was like muscle memory to me, Naomi put the placemats down, and then I did the dinner plate and salad plate, Naomi would place the napkins and cutlery then I would set glasses and pour everyone water from the pitcher. By the time we finished setting the table everyone aside from my mother and Elijah were at the table, early awaiting what was sure to be a filling dinner.
Slowly but surely my mom brought the dishes with Elijah, placing them all through the center of the dining table. After everything was placed my father, who sits at the head of the table cleared his throat, that was his signal for everyone to join hands. "Dear God, We gather today with grateful hearts to thank you for this food before us. We appreciate the effort and resources that have provided us with this nourishment. May this meal sustain our bodies and remind us of the many blessings in our lives. We are thankful for the love of family and friends who surround us and for the abundance we enjoy. Bless this food, our time together, and those who prepared it. May it strengthen us physically and spiritually. This is your body, this is your love. We thank you for feeding us with your gracious hands. In Jesus' name, we give thanks and pray. Amen."
"Amen," My family repeats before we all ravishingly fill our plates with chicken, maple-roasted mushrooms, buttered green beans, bread rolls, and mashed potatoes. I was eating so fast, I was shocked that I didn't spill anything on myself.
"So, have you met any cute boys at college?" My mother asks me, she is the only one eating politely "I'm sure you could get a real smart guy with those looks of yours."
My father nods "Just make sure he's Christian."
"Or catholic," My mother adds.
I laugh awkwardly in response, I take a sip of my water, the condensation making it slippery in my hands. Elijah gives me an odd look that goes unnoticed by my parents.
"I think we should drop off some bread or cookies or something to the Miller's, just something to say hi while Tommy and Maria are still there." My mom tells us, she isn't speaking to anyone in particular.
"Is Ellie there right now?" Aaron asks.
Elijah shrugs "Probably, her car is in the driveway."
Now Naomi is looking at me "We should invite her over for New Year's or something if she's staying for the rest of break."
My dad shakes his head "I don't know if that's a good idea," All eyes fall on him "It's just- I think she's a bit of a bad influence." He takes a swig of his wine and attempts to suppress a burp but fails. I press my lips into a thin line and look down at my plate to hold in my laughter, Elijah does the same beside me.
"I don't remember Ellie being a bad influence," Aaaron furrows his eyebrows, racking his brain to think of a time that she had done their family wrong.
"It's just that there were rumours of her having-" My father searches for the words "Unnatural tendencies I suppose, and I tried to talk to Joel about it but he got defensive and said that she didn't need fixing, that's how I lost my best fishing buddy."
My mom looks at the discomfort on all of her children's faces "I mean, we all need a bit of fixing."
Dad is quick to catch on "Oh, yeah, of course, I mean it's not just Ellie," He fumbles over his words "And it's not her fault that she's that way, I think It's because she lost her mother when she was young so she got confused about the parental roles, Joel never remarried and he didn't date around much so Ellie didn't have a proper mother figure, it's not her fault she's a dyke and there's still time to fix it if she wants to choose the right path."
Stillness falls over the table, I had never heard silence quite this loud. Even my mother is at a loss for words. All of my siblings are darting our eyes at one another, we don't utter a single word but we understand each other clearly 'Dad actually said it'.
He noticed this and tried to backtrack on his words "I'm not a bad guy, I mean we've all read the bible cover to cover, we know it's a sin. I'll wrap this up, you all know that we love you no matter what and all I'm saying is I'm glad we could distance ourselves away from it."
"Hey Dad, did you watch the Canucks game last week?" Elijah swoops in to change the topic. It's too late, a wave of sickness has already overtaken me.
While my family discusses nothing in particular, trying to ignore what Dad said, I am sick to my stomach, I push my plate away and prop my elbow the the table for my hand to support my head. I am nearly shaking. My dull eyes peer across the table and meet my father's drowsy gaze.
"Honey, are you feeling alright?" My mom pauses whatever conversation she is enwrapped in.
I don't respond, I don't know how.
My family's eyes find a resting place on my figure. Mom pushes herself away from her chair and walks over to me, she places one hand between my shoulder blades, the other takes my cold hand and she slowly rubs a circle on my back to comfort me. "Sweetness, whatever is repressed inside, say it, let it out, we're all family."
Naomi nods in agreement, her wide eyes full of concern. "I don't know how to say it," I tell them.
"Air it out," My dad says, finishing off his glass of wine and pouring himself another "Today is the perfect day, tomorrow is the birth of Jesus, a fresh start."
My heart is racing faster than it ever has before, faster than when I broke my wrist in Ellie's backyard or when I had been on a rollercoaster for the first time. "I like girls," I say, my voice is quiet, and my three words take my family with silence. My mother freezes and takes a step back, her comforting hands leaving me.
"You're joking," My dad scoffs "Tell me this is a joke and you're normal."
"I can't," My voice cracks and I can already tell that the tears are oncoming. I think briefly back to Ellie's words 'There is nothing you could say or do that would make them hate you' if only she could see what was about to happen.
"All of those sleepovers with Ellie?" He is disgusted, his face contorting with horror "Were you dating her?"
"no-
"How can I believe anything you say, you lied to us for nineteen years when you knew you were sick."
"Dad, I'm not sick-
"How many sinful acts have you done under this roof?"
"None, I swear," I shake my head, it took less than a minute for me to be filled with regret at my words. I shouldn't have even come home for the holidays, actually, I never should've found Dina's listing and jumped at the deal.
"Get out," Any light tone in my dad's voice is gone, replaced by pure resentment.
"What?"
"You heard me, get out."
"Dad, it's Christmas Eve-
"Get out!" His voice rumbles through the dining room like thunder "I thought we fixed this phase when we sent you to boarding school."
"Please, dad-
"Get up and get out or I'm going to make you,"
"Fine- make me," Tears prick in my eyes but I cross my arms trying to muster up that false coolness Ellie is so good at feigning.
My dad slams his glass down so hard that it shakes the table, and the partially empty wine bottle my parents had been nursing all night is knocked over by the abruption, tipping over the deep red liquor to travel down the tablecloth and drip onto what was once my pure white dress. "Get up!" He grabs a fistful of my hair and I scream from the shock of pain. He yanks me off my chair and my face slams against the hardwood when his arm slumps, impact heavy from the sudden drop, it doesn't take long for my nose to start bleeding. He drags me to the door pushing it open; my siblings don't do anything they're petrified in horror and my mother begins to cry, covering her eyes from the scene before her.
My dad doesn't stop at the door, I thrash on the ground and he pulls me over both of my hands trying to pry his away from the roots of my hair, he drags me into the snow, finally releasing me. I shake as my hand gently finds the way to my burning scalp where I fully believe he has pulled out clumps of my hair with his harsh and unforgiving grasp.
From the doorway the rest of my family watches, Naomi has a hand covering her mouth her doe eyes brimming with tears of her own. My father disappeared into the house, it didn't take long to see what he was doing he slammed the window to make the bedroom open and began to throw all of my belongings out of the window. My pictures, my old soccer uniform, armfuls of clothes from my old beaten dresser, candles, books, paints, and shredded posters were torn straight off my wall.
"Dad, stop, I'm sorry, I'll get better!" I am on my knees, hands clasped together pleading with him. My skin is burning from the contact with the snow, I know that it must be a horrific sight to behold. White sundress, stained with wine, tangled hair, red-tinged skin, puffy eyes and incoherent sobs.
The snow makes everything so quiet the only sound travelling through the night are my sobs. I can no longer see my father in my bedroom, he is coming back down and somehow that is worse, he pushes past my family and throws the presents I was supposed to receive on Christmas morning beside me, I flinch at the movement.
"I'm sorry!" I plead like I'm bargaining with the Grimm Reaper for my life "Give me a job and I'll do it, just tell me what to do to get better!" The screaming carries through the night, alerting the neighbours in what was supposed to be a calm and quiet neighbourhood. Across the street, Joel turns on his porch light, squinting his eyes at the scene on the opposing lawn and trying to make sense of it. "I want to get better!" I shake with every sob. I could hear my dogs barking from the loud noises.
My dad shakes his head "You're too far gone, I didn't raise a fucking dyke," He is almost crying himself, he doesn't mourn for the daughter that he has but the daughter that could've been. The daughter who donned white every Sunday for church and settled down with a nice family man, a daughter who was holy but in this moment I am the purest form of holiness, born again from the violence of my father.
"Dad, I was created in God's image, why would he create his child to be this way if it was so wrong?"
"You're a fucking mistake is what you are," He seethes "Get off my property or I'm calling the cops."
"You still have my bags!" I scream and I watch him retreat to get them "Are you going to do anything at all?" I search my family for any sign of life but they all avert their eyes from mine. My father comes back out, and he throws my purse and suitcase on the lawn, this time both of them hit me, talking about kicking someone when they're down.
My dad begins to usher the family inside "I never want to see you again, get your ass up and start working, I'm not paying for you to fuck around with women instead of getting an education."
"That's it?" I cry "You won't come to my wedding or meet my kids? What about my funeral?"
"Not as long as you're with a woman." With that, he slams the door behind him and locks it. I let out another guttural sob, I've already cried so much that it's beginning to hurt within my stomach. I take a deep and shaky breath in, wiping the tears away from my eyes with my freezing hands, I'm sure to catch hypothermia if I don't warm up. I look up to see my neighbours all around either watching from their window or in the Miller family's case, the front porch. I'm sure that someone has already called the police.
"Let me in, I'm sorry!" I scramble off the ground and begin to bang on the door. Shaking the handle "Let me in!" This goes on for longer than I would've liked, I hammer on the door and scream as loud as I can but they all ignore me. Eventually, I stand by the window and slam my hands on it "Let me in or give me my fucking dog, you can't take care of him!"
I knew I was fucked when I heard sirens. It only made sense for the neighbours to call the cops at this disturbance.
I'm going to do you all a favour and tell you some useful information; when the police arrive and you don't wanna seem guilty, don't try to drive away from the scene because you might just end up getting handcuffed and shoved into the back of a police car for your childhood bestfriends family to watch from their front row seats.
"Prison life isn't for me," I wallow as I press myself against the bars of the holding cell. There are two other women in the cell with me and they both snigger. One of their names is Lucia, and she has bronze skin and brown hair so dark that it almost looks black with gold hoop earrings the size of my head, I don't know the other woman's name but she looks significantly older and has stringy blonde hair, the wrinkles of her face drooping.
"Honey, this isn't prison, you'll live another hour," Lucia sits on the uncomfortable bench, her arms crossed, she's kind of hot to be blunt.
"You reek of liquor though," Blondie cackles and I catch a glimpse of her rotting yellow teeth, what's the opposite of pearly whites? Golden nuggets? Something like that.
"Because I got wine spilled on me," I retort. I had been crying before they even placed me in the cell, wailing so loud that I was annoying the officers. I was so upset and starved for affection that I hugged the officer who detained me, babbling incoherently about how my life was ruined, I don’t even blame them for arresting me, I looked like a crackhead trying to break into a nice suburban home. “I'm not drunk."
"Could've fooled me," Lucia smirks, she's wearing a black tank top and skinny jeans. I wasn't a fan of skinny jeans but she was converting me.
I fell asleep hugging myself on one of the uncomfortable metal benches with chipped blue paint, when I woke up, it was Christmas, even though it didn't feel like it. I saw the snowfall outside of the windows on the other side of the cells. Lucia had told me just before she was released that they had the right to hold you longer over holidays, I wanted to weep all over again.
Blondie got removed from the cell too and I was all alone. The only thing that kept me sane was pretending I was Katniss or Lucy Gray, if they had survived the Hunger Games, I could survive this. I genuinely thought my life was over and I was getting sent to prison for hammering on my dad's door and screaming.
With each hour that ticked by, my profound sense of loneliness only grew. The sounds of distant laughter flitted through the hall and I am reminded of the world that lies beyond the metal bars. I wonder what my family is doing at this moment, every voice that I hear acts as a reminder of the love I had jeopardized. I lost Ellie, I lost Conner, and now I had lost my family.
I think about praying to god for a moment though I discard the thought. If he was real why did he let that happen to me? Maybe forgiveness and redemption were not necessary.
"Crybaby, call someone to pick you up," Officer Reid who initially arrested me and interrogated me began to unlock the cell, "Charges are dismissed." He had been calling me Crybaby since I was stuffed in the back of the police car and wailing uncontrollably.
"Like for real?"
He was in fact, for real. I was brought to a landline phone and my hands acted faster than my head, dialling the number of someone I would trust with my life, I just prayed that the number hadn't changed.
After making my call I was told to go to a weird booth thing to collect my effects, where an old and very judgmental woman dumped my few belongings out of an envelope. I wish I knew the technical names for this stuff but it's not like I've been arrested before this one off occasion. She looked at each of the items, stating what it was while she took inventory of it. "Smartphone, lipgloss, a single gold earring, and a cross necklace," She marks something down and then turns the paper around and holds out a blue pen for me to take "Sign here."
My phone had died already, I was missing an earring, and the cross had failed me, all I had left to rely on was my cover girl lipgloss. I sat in that stark grey room for what seemed like hours, everyone seemed miserable as I am, at least I wasn't the only person having a not-so-merry Christmas.
Holy shit, I was still disgusting. I was sticky and freezing, still in the wine-ruined white dress, there was still dried blood on my face despite my pestering Lucia to help me get it off. My hair is tangled, the bow that my sister had tied in lost somewhere in the snow. I haven't looked in a mirror but I know I look rough from the side glances that everyone is casting me. I can't imagine the dark bags beneath my red, puffy eyes to be any sort of appealing.
The sterile waiting room is beginning to get on my nerves, I flinch at every movement and hold onto hope that every person walking through the door is the person I'm waiting on. I try my best to avert my eyes from the clock so time doesn't drag on any longer than it already is.
By the time Joel gets here, the sun is beginning to set, his eyes frantically search the room until they land on me, I'm already standing up and walking toward him. "Kiddo, are you okay?"
My lip quivers and it feels like every awful thing I've ever felt is going to seep through my teeth. My head falls onto his chest but this time I don't cry, I think I've run out of tears "I have nothing ahead of me."
Joel doesn't ask questions, he just hugs me in return, resting his chin on the top of my head, there is the comfort I had been so desperately searching for.
He signs release papers and he guides me to his red Ford Explorer. When I called him I asked him to bring me shoes as I was barefoot when I was detained, being the number one dad that he was, he brought a reusable grocery store tote bag, containing a hoodie, sneakers, fuzzy socks, sweatpants and a bag of my favourite chips. I slip the sweats on underneath my dress while the hoodie goes overtop, I awkwardly unzip it and shimmy it off, stuffing it into the tote bag.
The drive back to his house begins and he turns on the radio, trying to make lighthearted chatter "Thanks for coming to get me," I say, my voice is quiet and I pull my knees to my chest like as I tend to do when I get nervous "You can just drop me off at my car and I'll be out of your way."
"Sorry, kiddo," He says, eyes focused on the road "You're staying with me tonight, I don't want you driving these roads in the dark and it'll be good for you to have a hot shower and a warm meal, get some sleep somewhere that's not a holding cell."
"It's just that-
"If you still want to leave in the morning that's up to you but you shouldn't end your Christmas alone," Each word seems so genuine "And you know I would gladly have you stay with me three hundred and sixty-five days a year."
I look at him, a soft melancholic smile on my face, "Thank you," I say.
"Do you wanna talk about it?"
A sigh falls from my lips "What happened to all of my stuff that was left on the lawn?"
"Tommy and Ellie brought it all inside."
Ellie brought it back inside? Did she actually give a shit or was this something her dad ordered her to do? "Did my dad say anything to you?"
Joel shakes his head "Maria went barging on his door, those two were in a screaming match for a good two minutes before he locked the door on her. Hasn't been outside since, everyone in the neighbourhood has been coming by to ask what happened."
"Even Sharron?" I ask Joel, wrinkling my nose in distaste.
"Even Sharron," He solidifies. Sharron was the grouchy crone of the street, shutting down every party, cussing out teenagers from her porch, and yelling at barking dogs "She said she was worried about you." The windshield wipers painted rhythmic patterns across the glass, clearing a path through the soft snow that continued to fall.
"She's not worried about me, she's worried I'm on drugs and I'll break into her musty home to steal all of her hummels."
Joel huffs a laugh "I can't believe that I used to let her babysit you and Ellie."
"Me neither, you should be paying for my therapy." I tease.
He chuckles at my words, "So you're majoring in wildlife biology?"
"You remembered what I wanted to major in?"
"Of course I did."
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"Hey, Mookie!" Tommy wraps his arms around me the moment I set foot in the door. He's called me Mookie since I was a little girl, it started when I couldn't pronounce monkey and thus Mookie was born. "Let me get a good look at you," He pushes me back just the slightest hands clasped on my shoulders "Look at that bruise you've got on your cheek, looking awful tough, like those greasers you used to read about."
"Look at that, Mookie grew up," Maria greets me with a warm smile, pushing Tommy away to hug me "Good to see you made it through prison alive," She jests.
Joel's house is exactly how it was when I left.
The air carried the familiar scent of firewood and lavender incense. In the living room, an inviting fireplace stood as the heart of the home. Its gentle crackle and the dancing flames provided a soothing backdrop to the overstuffed couches adorned with cozy blankets and throw pillows, worn from years of shared family movie nights. A well-loved rug covered the wooden floor, its pattern a mosaic of memories and spills easily forgiven and of course, a coffee table hand-crafted by Joel and intricately carved.
The shelves lining the walls were a treasure trove of family history. Photographs in mismatched frames captured smiling faces frozen in time, chronicling the evolution of Ellie through the years. A collection of well-read books, their spines creased and pages worn, stood proudly, offering a glimpse into the literary adventures that had unfolded within those walls.
The kitchen, the heart of many childhood homes, held the lingering aroma of Christmas dinner. The countertops, scarred from countless meals prepared and shared, were a testament to the love that had gone into creating family dinners. A worn wooden table in the center of the room bore witness to the countless conversations, celebrations, and moments of solace shared over shared meals.
"You know what, when I was around your age, I spent my fair share of time in the cooler, good to see you're taking after me," Tommy winks and gives me a hard pat on the back. Neither of them acknowledges the reason behind last night's events and somehow it feels worse than talking about it.
"We've just finished up making dinner, I'm sure you're hungry," Maria smiles softly, taking my hand into her calloused one.
"Yeah, I'm starving," I smile in return and trail behind the blonde woman to the dining table.
All of the plates are laid out with portions of food on each one, Ellie is sitting alone, spooning mashed potato into her mouth while she texts someone, she glances up at me and offers nothing more than a tight-lipped smile and awkward wave before going back to her phone. Tommy comes by with a tray of garlic butter rolls and uses tongs to add more onto my plate "Don't think I've forgotten how much you love these."
I grin up at him, I'm sitting in the same chair I sat in all those years ago when I Ellie and I would settle down after spending all day in the sun, Joel would ask us what we wanted for dinner and almost every time we would shout hotdogs.
"Good to have you back," Joel nods to me "House always felt a little empty without you."
I always felt a little empty without this house "Good to be back," I smear some mashed potato onto Tommy's famous garlic butter bread rolls.
I feel almost sick with nostalgia as I look around the dining room, Joel still had Ellie's crafts from elementary school hung up and if you look closely, you find little clues that I've left behind; proof that I once existed as a girl beneath this roof. There's a dent in the wall from the time I stood on my chair to catch a spider and accidentally fell over, my head hitting right into the wall, Ellie was laughing too hard to help me.
"So what school do you go to?" Maria asks me, washing down her pot roast with some ice water.
"Northridge actually," At my words, Ellie's head perks up, she's looking dead at me with a look of fear in her eyes.
"Oh, Ellie goes there!" Tommy smiles "She never mentioned that you do too."
Ellie is silently pleading with me, I know she doesn't want me to tell her family that she's been borderline tormenting me as my roommate and sending me to bed with tears in my eyes. I didn't plan on telling them anyway "That's funny, I guess we just keep missing each other."
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Joel set up an air mattress in Ellie's room, that's when it became clear to me that he had no idea just how bad the fallout was between us. I hate to say that I missed her room and all of the memories we shared in it.
Ellie's bedroom resembled something of a teen guy who'd never gotten laid before. She had a navy comforter, her shelves were lined with comics and novels, I know for a fact that she'd read every single one of them. Her desk was always a mess, covered in pages of poetry and sketches that she had torn out from her journal. Almost every inch of her walls is covered in posters of bands, movies and her nerdy video games.
I was fresh out of the shower, finally in my clean clothes that I had dug out of my suitcase. I got to charge my phone too, there was an overwhelming number of messages.
D-Manz: HAPPY CHRISTMAS BITCH!!!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU AND CAN'T WAIT TO PARTY WHEN WE GET BACK
Jesse: Merry Christmas, hope your day isn’t shit! 😁😁😁
Riley: Merry Christmas! Hope you're having fun at your new school!
Abs: Merry Christmas and stay safe!
Kayla: Missing you girl ☹️ so excited for that staff party!
Kit-Cat: Merry Christmas, don't have too much fun without me
Yara: Merry Christmas ❤️ this probably isn't the time but I was hoping you could send over your notes from the last conservation lecture, just wanna text you before I forget!
566-460-4374: I got your number from Kyle, this is Roderick, I saw you last night and wanted to check up on you, hope everything is okay and merry Christmas.
Lindsey: Hey, haven't talked to you in a while but my parents said some stuff went down, just wanna make sure you're okay.
Ellie: Lmk if you need a ride back to our place
Ellie: Don't know if you can even see this but I got all of your stuff off the lawn, I promise it's safe 👍
Naomi: I'm so sorry
Naomi: I didn't think that would happen
Naomi: I didn't know what to do
Naomi: I love you
Aaron: U good?
Naomi: Please don't hate me, I'm sorry I didn't do anything
Elijah: Sorry but I wish you didn't tell Dad that
Naomi: I'll try to talk to Dad
Elijah: Hope you're safe
Elijah: Call me when you can
Still, there wasn't any word from either of my parents. I replied returning well wishes and assuring everyone that I was okay, I turned my phone onto Do Not Disturb and began to watch the Hunger Games on my phone. The room would've been pitch black if it wasn't for the blue light from my screen and the gentle beams of moonlight gliding through the window.
Ellie walks into the room after she finishes with her shower, she's in sweatpants and an old hoodie that she got from a rodeo, I had the same one, and we bought them together. I glance up at her before looking back at my movie and pulling the quilt further up my body. "You still like the Hunger Games?"
"Yeah," I say, being as brief as possible.
"You should take my bed and I'll sleep on the air mattress," Ellie says while she ties her hair into a low ponytail.
"I'm fine here, thanks."
"Seriously," Ellie is standing awkwardly at the foot of her bed, waiting for me to do something.
I shut my phone off and turned on my other side to face away from her "Just go to bed."
Ellie runs her hands down her face in frustration, she's starting to feel like an asshole "Please take the bed, it's the least I can do." I ignore her so she speaks again "I am begging you," She tells me bluntly "I feel like a dick and it would make me feel better if you just took the bed."
"You are a dick," I answer, she should've seen this response coming from a mile away.
"Please take the bed."
I sit up to look at her, frustration now boiling up inside of me "You're going to be nice now because you feel bad for me?"
"That's not why-
"It is actually," I tell her "This will last for a few days and then we'll go home and you'll be a cunt all over again, fucking keeping a list of everything I lay a finger on so you can say it's my fault if it breaks." She bites the inside of her cheek, that's her tell. Every time she does that I can tell that I've gotten under her skin. "You'll still act like you don't know me and I'm just some weird girl who thinks the world of you, I know what you say to those girls you have over, the walls aren't that thick." My insides ache from all of the screaming and crying of the past couple of days "And I know that I hurt you and I've told you a million times over that I'm sorry, you don't get to start having empathy for me now."
Ellie's silent again, she can't seem to find the words, so instead she slips under the covers of her bed, giving up. Minutes pass us, we've slept in this room together a thousand times but this time it's different, we don't share her queen bed and stay up all night watching the walking dead and talking shit about people at our school, we lay in the uncomfortable silence. We're grown but in this moment I still feel like a child searching for her mother's hand to guide her, I feel like my teeth still need to fall out so brighter, stronger ones can take their place, that the baby fat has yet to shed from my bones.
"I didn't know that you liked girls," Ellie said, breaking the silence "And I shouldn't have assumed that stuff about your parents." I don't respond to her, though she knows that I heard her. "I lied that night when you moved in."
"What?"
"I got all bitchy and said that you don't even cross my mind, I was lying," She's confessing to me as if I'm a priest "There wasn't a day that went by where I didn't think about you."
I'm not doing well.
I want nothing more than to crawl into bed next to Ellie and just hug her until I fall asleep but the resentment I've garnered for her these past months refrains me.
"I don't know if you ever knew this, but back in high school I had a bit of a crush on you," She says and my break hitches in my throat "Hey, you there?"
'I don't know if you ever knew this but I turned myself inside out trying not to be in love with you.' I don't say that, instead, I say "Goodnight, Ellie, Merry Christmas."
"Goodnight," She mutters, and like me, she turns her body to face away from me.
I don't feel mature in the slightest, I'm kept awake, haunted by shame and embarrassment. Ellie had seen me only one night prior, on my knees begging for love. We may be cold and calculated to one another now but I remember when she was a little girl who overwatered her plants because she didn't know how to stop giving.
TAG LIST I just tagged whoever wanted a part two: @elliesaesp @yalaysbee @laundrybag29 @readbydayana @elliesaturnsoftdrink @mikellie @melanie-watermelon @skylerwhitwyo
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aiizenn · 11 months
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men who constantly send you money so you can get your nails and lashes done. of course it’s for your own benefit, but also for his. it turns him on—they’re perfect for giving head. his cock hardens when he feels your hand around him with beautifully done nails. not too long and not too short, just the perfect size to feel them with your grip. you give his tip kitty licks as your other hand makes its way to his abdomen, feeling his tense muscles.
“that’s it, such good little slut.” dirty praises leaving his lips. “eyes up princess” and you listened. your doe eyes decorated with lashes, every blink made you look more innocent and desperate. “so pretty f’me, on your knees, with my cock in your mouth, yeah” every word making you want more, so you take in his length and start bobbing your head. both hands on each side of his hips, as you deep throat him. his large hands gripping your hair and pulling you in. your throat aching from the roughness, your breath is limited but that doesn’t stop him. “keep lookin’ at me” your eyes flutter as you make contact with him once again. the lashes adorning your eyes that were filled with tears.
he hisses when he feels your nails on his hips; tagged with the gagging sound that echoed the room. his length pulses in your mouth as his climax reaches, small curses fall from his mouth when he pulls you in one last time. there is a loud ‘pop’ sound when he removes himself from you and releases his hot creamy cum on your face. tapping his cock on your lips to open wide and drink every drop. his strong grip picks you from the floor and throws you onto the bed. “you sucked me dry, sweetheart. now it’s my turn.” he growls as he buries his head in your needy cunt. your pretty nails playing with his hair for more, like a good little slut.
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༊ * · ˚ shunsui, urahara, renji, gin, toji, nanami, geto, gintoki, hijikata, eren, reiner, kishibe, kakashi, million knives, adrian tepes, uzui
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thealtoduck · 3 months
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Being the son of Roulette and meeting Damian Wayne…
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Damian Wayne x Male Reader
Warnings: None
Summary: You’re mom is the villainess known as Roulette and she sends you to attend Gotham City High School, where you just so happen to meet the so-called ”Demon’s son”…
(A/n: I know i was supposed to work on other fics but i got distracted…)
——
So how does one go all the way from Las Vegas to Gotham of all places. Well you see having a mom who runs several underground casinos with secret superhero cage fights. Can be a kinda dangerous environment for a person.
So in order to keep you safe she sent you to Gotham to attend school there. She got you a penthouse and signed you up for Gotham City High School.
Once you started attending the school, word got around that you were from an incredibly rich family, with no specifics on where the money actually came from. And since it was Gotham people knew better than to ask.
You befriended several other rich kids enrolled in Gotham City High School… or befriended was a strong word, took advantage off would fit better.
You didn’t make a real friend until Damian…
The two of you wouldn’t meet until you were paired up for an assigntment. As the teacher called out ”Damian Wayne” and ”Y/n Sinclair” as the final paring. You invited him over to your place to work the next day, he accepted and the two of went your seperate ways.
Damian had heard about you around the school, a future heir of an unknown fourtune sounded sketchy to him, so he decided to some digging that night.
Suprisingly he didn’t have to look very hard. After searching for a bit he found a file on the bat-computer for ”Veronica Sinclair” aka ”Roulette”, a woman who owned several illegal casinos all over the U.S, some which even included ”Superhero cage fights” where she kidnapped superheroes and then forced them to fight each other.
Damian grew suspicious of you, Why were you here? Was this a plot of somekind? Were you an agent for your mother? His suspicions followed him to bed and in to the next day.
Damian made sure to pack an extra set of knives along with his textbooks, just in case.
Alfred then drove him to the adress you’d given him. He stopped outside an expensive looking apartment building. Damian said a quick ”Goodbye” to Alfred and went in to the lobby. Nothing too out of the ordinary.
A man in black suit approached him and stated ”Damian Wayne, follow me. Mr Sinclair is waiting for you”. The man guided Damian in to the elevator and pressed the button for the top floor. He was then led in to the hallway where a door waited.
Damian prepared himself for what waited behind, Assasins? Armed guards? Your evil mother? The possibilities were endless.
The man in the black suit unlocked the door and as he entered the inside was beyond anything Damian could’ve imagined…
It was just you… Just you…
You sitting at the dinner table with your study books and notes…
You sitting there looking cute in a Spyro the Dragon t-shirt and loosefitting sweatpants…
Damian didn’t know what he had been expecting but it wasn’t this.
You got up from your seat and went over to him. ”Hey Damian, what’s up?” you greeted cooly. Damian looked around in silence for a second and then answered dryly ”Uhm, I’m alright”. ”Cool, you wanna get to work now or…?”.
”Yeah, let’s get to work” he said awkwardly. The two of you went to the dinner table and Damian started bringing out his notebooks. ”I was just gonna make some coffee, you want some?” you offered.
”So this was his plan” Damian thought to himself. Lure him in to a false sense of security, drug his coffee and then throw him in to one of the illegal cage fights. No way he was falling for it.
”No thanks, i’m fine” Damian answered. ”Checkmate, Sinclair, I know what you’re up to” Damian thought satisfied with his detective skills. ”Okay, I’ll be back in a sec” you said walking towards the kitchen.
Damian took a look around the room, nothing seemed out of place. No loose weapons, secret plans or traces of blood. But then he found something, a giant portrait of your mother, Roulette. The painting was probably hiding some kind of secret vault or hidden elevator to a secret lair.
You came back holding a cup of coffee and a small tray of cookies putting them down on the table. You looked over at Damian seeing him observe the painting of your mother closely. ”Oh yeah, that’s my mom she comissioned a portrait of herself so i wouldn’t ”be lonely” here” you stated coming over to stand next to him.
Damian decided to test the waters of what information he could gather. ”Where is she then if you need a portrait for company?” he asked. ”Probably running one of her cansinos” you said, you weren’t fully aware of what she was doing at the moment and you had other things to worry about at the moment like chemistry and math tests.
The two of you eventually sat down and began your studies. Damian took occasional glances at you while you scribbled something down in your notes. There you sat looking all cute and evil, but Damian wasn’t fooled by your charms and he wasn’t gonna fall for them.
You were probably ready to strike at any moment when he wasn’t 100% alert. He knew your type, all pretty and sexy but as soon as you turn around you get a knife in the back.
Damian played along as if he weren’t on to you, talking pleasantly while you worked on your assigntment together, the leauge of assassins had prepared him well for sirens like you.
Once you finished your work for the day you offered Damian to stay for dinner but he politely declined, he needed to bring his newfound information home before you tried to kill him. He texted Grayson to pick him up.
You followed Damian to the door. ”This was a lot of fun Damian, i hope we can hang out more sometime” you said happily. Damian looked for the right words ”Yeah, me too” he said.
Once he got in to Dick’s car Damian started explaining everything he had found out to his older brother, who listened sceptically. ”I don’t know Damian are you sure he is ”evil” he sounds polite enough for someone raised by Roulette” Dick stated.
”That’s what he wants me to think, Grayson, he’s like a pretty venus flytrap trying to lure you in” Damian said. ”Oh yeah and why do you keep emphasizing that he’s pretty?” Dick asked.
”I DO NOT!” Damian yelled indignantly. ”You’ve called him pretty 7 times during this ride?” Dick noted. Damian ignored him. Thought for a while and then stated ”Grayson, i have a new theory”. ”That you have a crush on him” Dick asked with a smirk.
”Of course not, no! I don’t think he knows about me as Robin yet, which means if i hang around him, i can use him to gain inside information on his mother’s crimes” Damian plotted out loud.
”Are you sure you’re not just looking for a reason to be around him more?” Dick questioned. ”I- No! Don’t say stupid things Grayson…” Damian scolded. He was gonna find out what your pretty and definetely evil self was up to, no matter the cost.
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lazyneonrabbitt · 2 months
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Beef
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Daryl Dixon x Reader
Requested : "Could you do a Daryl x reader where at first he doesn’t like her, and she tries to get to know why hes so mean to her? Maybe he yells at her and then some comfort after?" EDIT: I saw this same request being written by another writer and I want to say, don't send multiple writers the same exact request. I find this super disrespectful.
This one took some turns of its own while writing, I hope it's to your liking!!
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When his group first came to the community you were excited. Finally you'd have a real huntsman around to share experiences with, you had missed it so bad.
Before the fall your family owned a shop, your father a butcher and your mother a taxidermist. You and your siblings learned every skill from hunting to skinning, prepping and using each part of the animal so none would go to waste. You hadn't hunted in so long, you weren't sure if you still could hunt succesfully. Even now you'd donate large, strong antlers and bones to the blacksmith in Hilltop to use in weaponmaking. You donated the furs you didn't fashion into items yourself to the seamstresses and prepped each type of meat for meals.
But somehow the new hunter didn't take the shared interests as something positive.
He brought you animals, yes. But never without throwing a judgy look around your workplace. Even when he came in with someone else who'd compliment your clean work he'd only scoff, dump his kills and head back out.
"Sheesh, what crawled up his ass?" The large moustached man laughed. You only shrugged as you lugged the deer behind your counter. "Hell if I know. Ain't digging it out tho. He seems to be doing okay with everyone except for me.." You returned the laugh while the man who's name slipped your mind helped you put the deer on your workbench, only to quickly drop the fake smile and leaning against your workbench.
You thanked him with a sigh and he gave you that look that told you to spill your thoughts.
"Fine. It sucks he's so weird. It'd be awesome to have a partner to do all of this with and to go hunt with." You busied yourself sharpening yuour knives, clearly still annoyed by the whole ordeal. "And..?" The long winded drawl made you roll your eyes at the man's persistance.
"And he's drop dead gorgeous, okay? There. I said it. I have a crush on the man. Happy no-- Ah fuck!" Your knife hit the floor with a clatter as you grabbed at your bleeding hand.
"Alright, up and out withya. To the doc we go." You were led to the infirmary and passed the source of your annoyance on the way.
Not that you were listening, but you still caught his voice in passing. "Damn folk 'ere don't know how ta do shit." You caught his glance in your direction and if you weren't busy keeping yourself from bleeding out you'd confront him.
It was a clear message that you weren't allowed to use the injured hand for your work and risk pulling the stitches, and honestly it just hurt too much to do anything with it. It sucked even more than having to leave your old home behind. There were people counting on your work so they'd have food.
It didn't stop you from going to work and doing as much as you could one-handed. You got there extra early to make up for the extra rime everything would take now, and by the time you'd normally open you found Deanna on your steps, greeting you with her usual smile. "I knew you'd be here stil working, but I brought someone to help until your hand is better. You shouldn't be overworking yourself."
As quick as she had entered she had left again as well, leaving you with your new work companion.
The hunter.
"Good morning." You gave him the kindest smile you could, but were only given a grunt in return as he tossed a bundle of tied up small game on your desk, rounded the corner and fished for a knife to start taking them apart.
Besides you explaining where to put all the different parts of the animal you two barely spoke, until the snap of bone pulled you away from your focused work of skinning yesterday's deer. "The hell?" You turned around to go see what he was up to.
"What are you breaking bones for?" His station was a mess, he pointed at the difficult point he was cuting along. "Easier ta reach without the bone in the way." Without even looking he continued. "Ya should know tha'. Damn city girl doin' mah work."
Again with his snarky comments. You shrugged it off and went back to your own station. Yiur bkood bloiled but you weren't gonna let him get to you, you had work to get done. "Try not to do that, we can still use the bones if you keep them whole."
You tried so hard to focus on your work, skinning the deer with only one functional hand was so difficult and even though you were having extremely conflicted feelings about it you still had to ask him for help.
"Can I borrow your hands for a minute? Can't do this on my own."
You held the large deer up and moved it as Daryl cut away the skin in the most choppy manner, creating a clear line where you stopped and he started. "Can you please work a bit mote delicate? That's gonna take me ages to clean up." You huffed from keeping the deer in place, but also annoyance. Why didn't he work like a hunter? He must know the code, right?
"Why're ya so on mah ass 'bout how I work? Gon' toss it out anyways. Just need the meat, tha's it." He got snappy at the end and you just stared at him, anger clear in your eyes. "Seriously?"
You let go of the deer and stepped away from the counter. "You're sent to MY shop. To help me because I happen to fuck up my hand for the first time ever since I got here years ago and all you can do is talk shit about me?" The knife that laid on the desk before now in your good hand and pointed at his chest. "God I can't believe I even fell for your hunting woodsman charms. You're just an asshole who doesn't give a shit about these animals or the hunter's code." With a clatter the knife hit the floor as you tossed it to the side with shaking hands.
"Get the fuck out of my shop and go find me someone who cares." With angry steps you turned around and headed out of the room, needing a break to gather yourself first if you wanted to get anything else done.
Now alone in the workstation, Daryl snatched up his catch from this morning and headed out.
~~
"You did what? Pookie you gotta listen to the girl." Carol sat down next to him and snatched the cigarette from his fingers. "You know you disrespected her life's work by now following her rules in her own shop, right?"
"I'on get why tha's even important anymore. We gotta eat, tha's all." Daryl's annoyed grumbles did nothing good it seemed as Carol continued to scold him like he was a child. "Did you for one second maybe think this work is all she has left to hold onto her old world self?"
"Cept this ain't the old world no more. She's waistin' time doin' all tha extra shit."
Carol was up and at the front door by now, putting out the cigarette in one of many ashtrays there. "Alright, up with you. You're apologizing with me right now."
The two took off to your shop but found no one there. Daryl's half finished rabbit still out in the open on the table while the deer was gone. "Ain't here. I'll head back tomorro--"
"No we're not. I know where she lives, come on." Carol practically pulled him along on the way to your place despite Daryl's protests.
You were working in your basement area when you heard a knock on the front door. "Come in!" Everyone who came to your place knew the door was unlocked and was free to come and find you, seeing you were either cooking, working on lounging when you kept the front door open.
"Hey, it's Carol! Heard about your hand, need some help around the house?" She needed an excuse to get an answer and find out where you were, so when you called back she knew to head downstairs.
Meanwhile Daryl just stared around to keep his mind busy. He found rabbit skins from prey he brought in wrapped around a pair of boots. He recognized the fur seeing it was a rare color. Further into your livingroom there was a deer pelt draped over the back of your couch. Also caught by him. The white spots over the back had one small flaw from where his bolt had struck right on a white dot. He remembered being proud of his aim for a minute that day.
"Daryl, come on." Carol's whisper-yell had him roll his eyes and as he passed your coatrack he noticed the hooks were all antler parts and the knives laying in the basket on the hallway table had bone handles.
So that's why you were so angry when he snapped the rabbit's leg and skinned the deer so carelessly. You did really use everything.
The two walked down the stairs to your workshop, Carol up front with Daryl following.
"Oh wow," Carol's exclaimation had you laugh. "Yeah, I get that a lot." You stood with your back turned, struggling to hang a piece of skin.
"Here, lemme help ya." Daryl's gruff voice was suddenly right behind you and you spooked, letting go of the pelt but Daryl caught it just in time, draping it over the wire. "Like tha?" His hands stayed up there and adjusted it to your liking, having stepped back to watch him and give Carol a questioning look. She just shrugged and gestured at the man who was again staring around the room. "What brings you here?"
Daryl looked at everything except you, he knew he'd lose all ability to speak if he did. Hell, he already had a difficulty getting his words out now seeing how wrong he was for not listening to you. "Came ta say sorry." He stared at the basket of furs labeled 'Donate'. "Shoulda known better than ta get angry. 'N I get why ya work thr way ya do now." Next to the basket sat a crate filled with thick, sturdy bones labeled 'blacksmith'.
You nodded and gave him an option. "Come back to the shop tomorrow. I'll have tou clean up that deer skin you almost ruined and you're following my teachings. I'll forgive you for wasting the rabbit."
Daryl chewed at his thumb, the other hand stuffed in his pocket and fidgeting with the fabric inside. "Yeah, alright." He nodded and looked over at Carol who had the brightest smile on her face. One that screamed victory.
"We'll get out of your hair, I'll bring by some lunch tomorrow at your shop." Carol waved on her way up, and just as Daryl was about to follow her you quickly spun around to grab something. "Oh, here." You held out a thin knife wrapped in leather, a small engraving of Hilltop's blacksmith on the handle. "I saw you took the rabbits, so if you haven't prepped them yet you can try this one. They're great for smaller animals."
He stumbled over his thanks as he accepted the knife and quickly headed out after Carol.
~~
You were back at work early the next morning, painkillers and a small breakfast in your system already and hoping to finish that damn deer. It still proved a challenge to get it from the cooler onto the workbench but you managed eventually, just before Daryl came in.
"Mornin'." Hid gruff voice sounded through the workplace as he rounded the corner and placed the knife from yesterday on the table. "Thanks fer lettin' me borrow it. Worked like a charm."
You picked up the knife and held it out to him again, only to recieve a questioning grunt in return. "It was a gift. To keep."
Daryl never got gifts. Everything he had was scavenged and well taken care of for longer use these days. It felt weird to keep it but he thanked you again and pocketed it.
Meanwhile you had grabbed the deer skin and laid it out where he'd be working. "Look here, I'll show you how to clean this up and you'll go fix the rest, okay? It'll take a while but it'll be worth it." Daryl stepped up to you and observed the way you took the knife to the uneven spots of skin and carefully smoothed it all out. The precision in your work was impressive to say the least. "How long've ya been doin' this?"
You dropped a cut off piece of meat into a plastic container and thought back to the old world. "I guess ever since my parents thought I was old enough to handle knives." You held the tool out to the hunter and watched him take it from you. "Your turn. I'll be hopefully finishing that deer so just ask whatever, whenever."
You were lucky a lot of the cutting could be done onehanded, and holding back pieces was okay enough to do with your wrist or hold something down with your elbow. But now that you had all the easy access meats off and seperated you ran into a problem.
"Fuck.." You needed help. The same kind of help that had you kick him out yesterday.
"Sup? Need hands?" He was at your side in a second, waiting for your instructions.
"I need to take off the ribs but I can't." You leaned aside to point around the carcass. "If you can press down here, and there." Daryl followed your instructions and put pressure on the spots you pointed out. "Then I can take this here apart." Your movements were followed and suddenly it was way too hot in your always cold workplace. Yesterday you'd be happy if he decided thr Kingdom was a better home for him but now that he apologized and proved to better himself after your misunderstanding you were back to being the lovesick puppy Abraham had made you out to be when he brought you home after the infirmary visit.
With how Daryl held the spot clear and open you had to get close to chop through the bone and separate it all in workable bits.
"Can I take one a'those later? Michonne asked ta cook fer her kids cuz she's out 'n Carol's off ta Kingdom--" "Throw the kids an old world barbeque! I'll come help. I'm sure you're skilled in roasting over an open fire with how much you traveled." The excitement was clear in your voice, and the sudden compliments and offers of gifts and assistance had him nervously fidgeting. But thinking about having a fun experience with the kids instead of just cooking and having dinner sounded way better than his original plan, so he agreed.
"Ya got supplies ta fix tha' in half a day?"
~~
The two of you cleaned up after finishing thr needed work and while you carried the prepped meats, Daryl had the bowl firepit on a kart together with the metal rack to hang over it. Yeah, he lived in a community now but he never guessed he'd be carrying around a whole barbeque setup like he was getting ready to throw a party in the old world. "Gotta drop by tha' house fer a sec, get Jude 'n RJ."
After he got the kids and you had everything set up Daryl got the fire started while you made a quick pantry run and dug through Daryl's kitchen for anything to add to the meals.
You brought whatever you found and set it on the side of the porch steps, keeping a path to the house cleared and sat yourself down in the front lawn as you watched uncle Daryl in action, letting the kids toss wood onto the fire and poke at it with a stick but making sure they kept their distance and wouldn't touch the hot metal.
It was heartwarming to see him laugh and have fun with them and watched him speak quetly to the kids with a finger pointed your way before the two came running towards you.
"Daryl says the fire's good for food! Can we put some on the thing?" Two pairs of big, begging eyes stared at you and saying no would be the worst so of course you allowed them, under surveillance and with an assisting hand. "Alright, pick something you wanna eat first and put it on a plate, Daryl will take it to the fire and I'l helf you put it on the rack, okay?"
A chime of "Okay!" baely left them before they were at the collection of prepared meats where you and Daryl joined them in picking.
While Daryl roasted the food over the fire you were tasked go keep the kids busy, but wirh hoe much they loved chatting about everything and anything it was an easy task.
The whole evening was fun and food and family and it reminded you of everything you missed in this new world.
Everything was good in this moment, especially when you heard a little exchange between uncle and niece.
"Uncle Daryl? Can we have more dinners with her? But also mom and aunt Carol next time." You watched Daryl look towards you for a moment before turning back to Judith. "'Course, she's teachin' me ta prepare food so we can do this with e'ryone if ya want. But!" He raised his hand and pointed at RJ, who came over to him too now. "Yer gonna be the ones askin' folk ta bring food too, so e'ryone has somethin' ta eat, 'kay?"
The two happily nodding kids proved that your time in the community just got a lot more fun.
Now, after the kids were long brought to bed you and Daryl stayed around the fire. Having taken the meat rack off and set asidr you were just relaxing and picking away at the leftovers.
"So," you started, watching the flames in front of you. "That community barbeque plan of yours, it sounded amazing especially how you brought it over to the kids. But, aren't you afraid it'll drain recources too quick?"
Daryl shrugged it off. "Maybe. But those kids'll make folks keep stuff aside fer it." The idea of those two running around the place collecting people brought a smile to his face. "'Sides, I ain't wastin' meat no more with yer lessons tha' I hope ya will keep givin' me."
Oh. He wanted to stay? At the shop? With you? You were pleasantly shocked with that news. "What? Ofcourse I'll teach you. But only of you promise to take me out hunting when my hand's okay again."
He let out a breathy laugh and nodded. "Yeah, I'd love ta have ya around."
You stretched and laid down in the grass, looking up at the night sky.
"S'gonna be fun."
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wonderlandwalker · 4 months
Text
Cherished Moments | Finnick Odair x Reader
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THG Masterlist / Taglist / Inbox
Summary: Finnick is trying to get you to relax and, well, it works maybe a bit too much.
Content Warnings/Tags: Mostly fluff, small injury, lovesick Finnick, grumpy!reader x sunshine!Finnick, insinuations of violence, no use of y/n
Word Count: 1.2k
Requested by Anon: I love your writing!!! What do you think a grumpy reader × sunshine finnick would be like? Love the back cat gf golden retriever bf trope haha and I feel like finnick would be obsessed with someone who was mean to everyone BUT him! Feel free to ignore if you don't feel inspired, I'll read everything you write anyway!!
A/N: Can someone pls let me know if they actually manage to find the request after I've posted them I have no clue if these are getting through. Ngl this one was a struggle for me but once I found the right idea it came pouring out. Do they even have darts in the Hunger Games universe? Well, they do now. Keep sending me requests I genuinely love doing them!!
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“Come on, I know you can do it! I’ve seen you throw knives, this is pretty much the same thing, only smaller.” Finnick was trying to encourage you, but you weren’t easy to win over. 
“I’m telling you, I can’t. This is just different. The darts are so much smaller and lighter, it throws me off balance.” You were at a party in District 13, well, calling it a party would be generous. 
“Just try. I’ll help you come on. I promise it’ll be fun.” He couldn't hide his smile at your antics, but he also knew if anyone was able to convince you, it was him.
“Fine, but if something goes wrong it's on you.” You looked him in the eyes, and could see a spark of light inside them, and you wouldn't admit it, not with all the other people in the room, but it warmed your heart a little.
“It’ll be fine, what’s the worst that could happen” He asked you, and you almost scoffed at the question.
“I could hit someone, and then everyone will hate me even more than they already do”
“They don't hate you, they just don't know you the way I do.” Whenever someone would ask him what he saw in you, he would always be dumbfounded. Sure, you had a hard exterior, but when someone has gone through as much in their life as you did, were you really to blame? No, he didn't understand the question, because, to him, you were perfect. Whether you were sulking at breakfast for having to leave the bed or smiling at him because they were serving your favourite dish for dinner, he would take anything you gave him. 
“Are you telling me that you, the victor of the 70th Hunger Games, are afraid of hurting someone with a tiny dart?” He was challenging you, and it was working.
“I'm not afraid, I just don't want anything to go wrong.” The way your voice softened around him made his heart beat faster for you and sometimes, he swore you knew and were doing it on purpose.
“You won’t, just throw it straight into the board.”
Finnick is standing behind you, grinning like he’s just won some sort of lottery while he guides your arm up for you, you can feel his breath on your neck before he whispers “Come on love, do it for me.” You’ve never been able to deny him, to your own annoyance at times, so you do as he says.
The dart flies through the air, and it doesn't hit the board, but it comes relatively close. So you throw a second dart and it hits the board, but you don’t manage to score any points just yet. As you throw another one, it manages to hit the board, but only for a little while before it falls to the floor. You throw your hands up in defeat before saying “See, told you I couldn't do it.” But Finnick hasn't given up, in you, he would never give up.
“That’s nonsense, you just have to try again, be patient.” He walks over to collect your darts and hands them back to you. He steps behind you again, guiding you into the right position before speaking.
“Just close your eyes, imagine you’re throwing them at Snow.” It makes you laugh and he can feel your muscles relax. He would always feel so proud of himself when he made you laugh, he didn't mind that you don't do it often, it would only feel like so much more of an achievement.
You do as he says, closing your eyes and taking a deep breath right before you throw the dart, hitting it right in the bullseye. You throw another, hitting the bullseye again. But you miss the board with the next one when Finnick leaves a small kiss on your shoulder, and your breath hitches. You can feel his body moving from behind you, and focus to throw another dart. It’s only when you hear an exclamation of pain coming from right in front of you that you snap open your eyes, you would recognize it anywhere. In front of you was Finnick, standing right next to the board with one of his hands clutched in the other, and when you take a closer look, you can see the dart that is stuck in the back of Finnick's hand.
“Fuck, I’m so sorry are you okay.” He would never tell you this, but he doesn't even mind that it happened, seeing you being sweet on him so openly, it makes him forget anything even happened in the first place.
“I'm fine sweetheart.” there is a strain in his voice, and he knows you can hear it too from the way your brows furrow in regret. You knew he wasn't trying to be tough for you, no, you had moved past that years ago. he was trying to not make you worry, it was something he would always do no matter how much pain he was in. But you were worried, because in contrast to all those other times, this time it was your fault that he was hurt. It never phased you much when someone would get shot, it never phased you much as you heard the canons each night in the arena signalling another death, not in the way it phased other people, but this, this broke you.
“Finnick you are not fine, there is a fucking dart inside your hand and it's my fault.”
“Well, most people don’t throw a fourth dart sweetheart." He says, and he chuckles a little, but you don't hear it in your state of worry.
“I am so sorry I-” You were choking up over your guilt, and while he loved getting to see your raw emotions, this one he didn't enjoy.
“Hey, no, I'm sorry too, don't get yourself worked up over this. It's just a dart, I will be fine. Why don’t you go get me a first aid kit?” He really was fine, and he could have gotten it himself, but he knew how much you would get in your own head when you didn't have anything to do in these kinds of situations. 
Once you come back and help patch him up, he looks up at you and you catch his gaze. A smile crosses his face in a way he knows his cheeks are going to hurt.
“Why are you smiling” you ask, confused at his glee in a situation like this.
“Because I know you care about me. You don’t always show it, and you don’t have to, because moments like these I’ll cherish forever.” His eyes are sparkling as he looks into yours, he swears he could just stand here and look at you for the rest of his life. 
“Oh, would you shut up already” you tell him while swatting his hand away from your face and rolling your eyes.
“You can’t tell me to shut up, you threw a dart into my hand.” He’s still grinning like an idiot, and it's infecting you. One of the corners of your mouth lifts up, and it's subtle, but he catches it, how could he not with how intently he is watching you. You’re back to your old dynamic, but he loves it just as much.
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