#and sometimes interesting subjects of immortality themes

[moonsinkfoxgirl]

honestly not sure why people are so into elves tbh, they're kind of mid

#cute ears and all #and sometimes interesting subjects of immortality themes #but like #not really anything beyond that #rambles from the moonsink

[oceanlipgloss]

LIPSTICK

SATAN.

+ warnings: strong language, suggestive themes.

+ female mc, feminine pronouns.

It’s said to be an art, choosing the right shade of lipstick. Perhaps it is so!

Think about it this way, now; paint—the palette painters create, to be precise—it does not matter much once it is smeared across a canvas, for a canvas is normally white (like ghosts and lightning, leeched sugar and whipping cream), and there is not one colour, be it shade or hue, that such a white fails to suit, though it will not always look good. With lipstick, however, the matter differs.

Of course, a painter does very much choose the most proper canvas for their creation, but that is only in terms of material and dimension. Similarly, it’s probably important for a woman to not merely choose the prettiest colours for her lips, but also the greatest matches for the smooth skin of her interest, who in this case is not quite her lover yet, and may never really be.

Who could possibly know how destiny is painted? Whoever can guess which swatches shall make the future up?

Back to the subject: it is pivotal to decide on a lipstick’s colour for the...aesthetic, if you will. Sometimes, you must understand, the lovelier a sight is, the more sensual it becomes. Beauty, when the time is right and the person is, too, can be an exciting thing. A dangerously exciting thing.

That was not strange advice, she thought. There were times when those erotic magazines and adult films of hers made as equal sense as science. This was one of them.

Her lips had stamped each soft muscle. His body was a hued mess. It was as though one had given a curious child dissimilar paints and a chalk-white paper to print their imagination on with no regard for the basics of art. A child would not know about those rules. At the same time, she was not an artist in the traditional meaning of that shimmering word, so she did not know anything about art’s foundations, either. Yet, she did know how to make the colourful garble on this man’s figure look like art, if only by rubbing her wine-red lips against the peach stain of a kiss to blend the two colours together. What would the result look like?

She could be impatient and quick-paced, in the hot moments often forgetting the artistic aspects and details, vivid with flowing rage, but she was still that sort of artist.

How surprising that she could even manage to know what to do next, at the minute!

The Devil was dreamily handsome. Lipstick gemmed the corner of his lips. His eyes were the colour of strawberries or hearts. His pale skin and purple veins were smudged with a range of popping colours. Some were matte, others glittered. Red Delicious. Tangy Tangerine. Raspberry Dream. Glam Brown. Burgundy Velvet. Electric Violet. Black Decay.

Her favourite? It had to be the last one. Black Decay. Pale skin, dark lipstick. The contrast! The impact! It looked stunning. And goodness, it made it seem like his wet horns had somehow melted at the red tips, mixed into the Red Delicious kisses, and dripped blackly onto his tense muscles. It was so cool.

Standing in front of mirrors again. Playing with fire is fun. Fun is never-ending. Beauty doesn’t last forever. Souls don’t necessarily go to Hell or Heaven. Humans are bound to die. Some people never find a haven. But this man, this man was the Devil. That changed everything; looks are forever, youth is eternal, the heart beats for ever and ever. So, what the fuck is death? What does time mean, then?

Immortality gives time a different flavour, kind of like how certain lipsticks taste nothing alike: one is ‘cherry,’ the second is ‘candy,’ and the third is something else entirely. Maybe ‘chocolate’? Who knows.

Anyways, it’s all very addictive. Being young. The electric sparks of attraction. Admiring a beautiful face. Worshipping a sculpted body. Burning in the fires of desire. Bloody rage.

It can be very pretty, put together in one painterly picture: a horned devil, a beautiful young king, dotted all over with the kisses of a human on her knees before him. The throb of bruises, the pulse of scratches, they aroused him. Because her anger tasted like it spread out from the purest depths of Hell. It was what a dream would taste like, feel like, be. It was what a dream would be.

His eyes were glowing a frantic red, a red redder than those hell flames from fiction’s silly little tales. The petrine crosses, they were like ink on a heart. That rage inside her, it was heroin and honey in his veins. He could not have enough of it. He wanted more. Double the dose. It boiled his blood and made his heartbeats insane!

Fuck, oh, fuck. The kisses weren’t cutting it. The pretty marks on his skin wasn’t cutting it. The colours weren’t cutting it. He wanted her breakable fingers to push his flesh in, turn him purple and blue, make him bruise. He wanted those dainty nails to dig into his skin, carve into it tiny bloody crescent moons. He wanted that delicate palm to scar his face, let it sting like a crimson wound.

It will, it will, it will, it will.

He could be a freak like that, but so what? He was sweet, too. She wasn’t sweet, but she could be his match. She was. So often their hearts and bodies played on the same frequencies. Down for a helping hand. Down for murder. Down for anger. Down for roughness. Down for Hell. Down for sex.

So, you see, ladies and gentlemen, the right colour of lipstick may very well do wonders.  

+ MASTERLIST

+ AO3 POST

©𝙤𝙘𝙚𝙖𝙣𝙡𝙞𝙥𝙜𝙡𝙤𝙨𝙨

#Whb #what in “hell” is bad #what in hell is bad #whb satan #what in hell is bad satan #the story factory

[gealach-in-a-misty-world]

Penny Paxton is the daughter of an icon. Her supermodel mother has legions of adoring fans around the world, and Penny is ready to begin her journey to international adoration, starting with joining the elite Dorian Drama School. When Penny’s new mentor offers her an opportunity she cannot refuse, to have a portrait painted by a mysterious artist who can grant immortal beauty to all his subjects, Penny happily follows in the footsteps of Dorian’s most glittering alumni, knowing that stardom is sure to soon be hers. But when her trusted mentor is found murdered, Penny realises she’s made a terrible mistake – a sinister someone is using the uncanny portraits to kill off the subjects one by one. As more perfectly beautiful students start to fall, Penny knows her time is running out . . . A seductive and searing exploration of beauty, identity, and what the pursuit of perfection can truly cost.

"Girls don't want beauty. Girls want power. And sometimes beauty is the closest substitute".

Laura Steven's Every Exquisite Thing is a YA feminist and sapphic retelling of The Portrait of Dorian Gray, with elements from the classic being woven in an interesting way. Without getting too much into spoiler territory, the link isn't as tenuous as one may think at first. The book comes with a much appreciated note at the beginning, detailing the book's trigger warnings.

The narration in first person serves the novel well, highlighting the main character's growing unease with the very real threat to her life and with the supernatural happenings around her. We get to feel her helplessness and see her struggle with anorexia in a way that is disconcerting and unnerving.

The book delves deep into the themes of beauty, control, and identity, aided by a prose that is stunning in its simplicity. The execution is lacking in some parts, especially in the second half, but the book makes up for it with its heart; perhaps the revelations towards the end might have been foreshadowed better.

Queer longing permeates the pages, with the tension between the two leads coming to an end in a frenzied scene that works all the better because the ending softens the edges and makes this novel a very real journey of self-discovery that can only end with healing. But while the main trio, and the relationship they shared, is well-developed, the other two recurring characters in Penny's set of friends end up being criminally underdeveloped. The adults, on the other hand, are written better, especially the tragic figure of Penny's mother.

Every Exquisite Thing is a book that helps young women.

✨ 4 stars

.

📚📚📚 IF YOU LOVE THIS, YOU MIGHT LIKE:

* I Feed Her to the Beast and the Beast Is Me, by Jamison Shea

for: deals, sacrifice

[You can find more of my reviews about queer speculative fiction on my blog MISTY WORLD]

#laura steven #every exquisite thing #lgbtq books #queer lit #queer books #queer #sff #queer sff #sff books #books #book reviews #reading #gealach reads #gealach writes

[filliteapot]

What are your thoughts about age-gap romances? I myself I am mostly okay with them (it's all about the execution and how the relationship is potrayed, what it is like etc.) and some of my favorite couples and ships have age-gap, for example Tom and Polly from Fire and Hemlock, Firuka and Hagas from Genbu Kaiden. But due to fandom spaces... I have started to feel quilty and bad for liking some age-gap couples and romances and I wonder if I should stop liking them and if I should age-up my own character from 20 to 28 since the love interest is 32-33 in a fantasy romance I am writing.

Oh my, you know , I saw your ask right after complaining to a friend about fandoms. The timing made me yell. So expect a long answer with my honest thoughts under the cut.

I may have an opinion unpopular in fandom spaces and nowadays overall, but I think that your taste in fiction doesn't necessary reflect your preferences and opinions irl. More than that, I don't think that fiction equals reality and I consider viewing reality through fandom/fiction lenses (and otherwise, evaluating fiction from the point of view of our reality, this time and age) a dangerous simplification. Fiction doesn't have to work by our reality's laws and morals. Reality is much more complicated than any fiction ever written. This is that I think.

As for stories with age gap romances - I don't see it as something necessarily problematic and accusable. I may like them, I may dislike them, or stay neutral - as you said, it depends on how it's written. But I'm gonna say smth that kinda makes me worst person for fandoms: in all honesty, shoujos about teenage girls falling for their teachers, fantasy about 20 y.o. in relationships with immortal creatures, even stories about straight out creepy relationships with age gap don't hurt me and don't make me righteously mad and screaming it gives young people the wrong idea. What doesn't, nowadays? Learning to use your brains and analyze information is still my preferable option. I also don't understand how writing about some not-safe-for-all-audiences themes equals romantization of said themes. I really don't see such stories as a problem or harmful influence, just like any other thing claimed problematic by fandoms tbh. In my experience, most of them are not even close to "excusing age gaps between young ppl and old perverts". This is something totally different.

I think you should write your story as you want, without trying to please everyone and make it safe for everyone, without a mere possibility to trigger smth unpleasant for someone - it's impossible to do that after all. If for some reason your characters must be 20 and 32 years old, so be it. In fantasy I sometimes see examples of bigger age gaps, like "twenty y.o. and a 3000 y.o. magician" which fandom sometimes condemns as problematic bc of said "age gap", and I see that this one potential 3000 y.o. magician is written like a teenage girl and doesn't feel old or not human in the slightest, and it's not about problematicness or age gap at all, even when your mage is not 3000 y.o. but 30-something. It's about your exploring yourself, people and the world through your writing. Maybe, it's about learning to love the world a bit more (true in my case, this is why i'm making my own story I guess), maybe it's about putting yourself in other person's shoes, trying to understand how someone different from you (in age, or status) feels and thinks. Maybe it's about going against fandom morals and hollow accusations you are unhappy with, some kind of protest, I don't know. It may be sublimation, a stupid wish that never came true, a way to get through some traumatic experience, a way to understand your own feelings about this subject and form your opinion, or desire to take this theme and make a good story you can enjoy, finally! None of these makes you a criminal, btw. You may even never understand why exactly you take something for your story or the purpose of writing it at all - and that's okay. You have a personal relationship with your story and not a single person has the right to interfere.

In short, I'm standing firmly on this ground: stories are not our reality, but a way to get to know it and maybe love it. Your preferences in fiction don't necessarily mean it expands to real life. Feeling something good from a story that someone says you are supposed to hate doesn't make you trash. Also, I beg you: don't use fandom categories to deal with reality and don't apply their standards and logic to your opinion about yourself. Fandoms surely make our life funnier sometimes, but they are limited spaces with their own rules and working mechanisms, and they simplify things a lot. I can understand the desire to always have the right and simple answer to everything, and a clear opinion about everything, but life has the habit of walking up to you and smashing your face into situations that can't be defined by simple notions, or even don't let you decide what to accuse and what to excuse (sometimes it's not our place to decide). I don't think you must feel guilty for liking smth in fiction. I stopped caring about it some time ago, when I got that me liking murder ballads by the Decemberists didn't make me a killer, and that I actually don't see the period novels in which women suffer as romantization of women's suffering. And I'm fine with my unpopular perception of fiction and reality.

I wish all the best on your writing.

#replies #writing #this is something i actually thought a lot these days #and yes this is my honest opinion i'm firm with

[rebirthedflames]

#REBIRTHEDFLAMES  ━━━ a private and selective LOW ACTIVITY roleplay blog for  final fantasy xiv ind. warrior of light — FREYR REHW-GILDA             ↳   multiship, multiwol, original character & cross-over friendly.

note (5th sep 2023): hiatus due to uni & irl.

MUN INFO:  phoenix | 25+ | he/they | discord available for mutuals ( previously known as fiery )

heads up, blog’s still under construction. undergoing character overhaul. thank you for the patience.

GENERAL As a heads up, Freyr's story involves canon divergence and some lore-bending. I still do my best however to ensure lore compliance where possible. As a character, he can sometimes be difficult to understand because of his trauma but I will always be happy to discuss his interactions with you for whatever reason. I find it important to state that muse and mun do not share the same ideas or opinions. I only use the beta editor and I would much prefer if you do the same to make things easier for both of us.

CONTENT WARNING This blog will contain mature themes and references such as depression, PTSD, war, violence, blood, alcohol use, self-harm, grief, sexual literature / references, murder, death, the consequences of immortality & similar subjects.  I ask that you do not follow or interact with this blog to any degree if you are under 18 or uncomfortable with these subjects. I will not interact with or follow anyone under the age of 20.

guidelines // thread tracker // information (wip) permanent interest check // dynamic call

credits: banners / promo / icon template

#pinned.

[deathbond]

#DEATHBOND  ━━━ a private and selective LOW ACTIVITY roleplay blog for final fantasy xiv ind. original character — HEMLOCK EXIDIA             ↳   multiship, multiverse, original character & cross-over friendly.

MUN INFO:  phoenix | 25+ | they/any | SEMI-HIATUS ( previously known as fiery )

heads up, blog’s still under construction. thank you for the patience.

GENERAL As a heads up, Hemlock's story involves canon divergence and some lore-bending. She is a character originating from and inspired by Baldur's Gate 3 (/ d&d 5e) adjusted to fit the world of ffxiv. I still do my best however to ensure lore compliance where possible. As a character, she can sometimes be difficult to understand because of their trauma but I will always be happy to discuss their interactions with you for whatever reason. I find it important to state that muse and mun do not share the same ideas or opinions. I only use the beta editor and I would much prefer if you do the same to make things easier for both of us.

CONTENT WARNING This blog will contain mature themes and references such as depression, PTSD, war, violence, blood, alcohol use, self-harm, grief, sexual literature / references, murder, death, body horror, rebirth, decay, the consequences of immortality & similar subjects. This blog will also feature insects, fungi, and the like. I ask that you do not follow or interact with this blog to any degree if you are under 18 or uncomfortable with these subjects. I will not interact with or follow anyone under the age of 20.

guidelines // thread tracker // information (wip) permanent interest check // dynamic call

credits: banners / promo / icon template

#pinned.

[offlinehorse]

12 pillars jay abraham

As one writer put it, during the early 19th century “worldwide interest in Egyptian antiquities fanned itself to a searing blaze. These developments involving the Rosetta Stone and Champollion contributed to the coming forth of the book of Abraham in a significant way. In 1822 he published the results of his work and the science of Egyptology was born, allowing scholars to begin to read the most ancient texts of Egypt. Working from clues found in the last inscription on the Rosetta Stone, written in Greek, Champollion was finally able to decipher the other two inscriptions. Hieroglyphics, the written language of ancient Egypt, had been a riddle to scholars for many centuries. Among the European linguists who began to work on deciphering these inscriptions was the young French scholar Jean Francois Champollion. It bore inscriptions in three ancient languages-Egyptian hieroglyphics, demotic (a simplified script that succeeded hieroglyphics), and Greek. Made of black basalt, the stone was found by an officer of Napoleon’s engineering corps.

In the year 1799, an intensified interest in ancient Egypt was kindled in the Western world when the Rosetta Stone was discovered near Alexandria, Egypt. But we understand that the information in it was “hid from the knowledge of man for … four thousand years.” 2 To how many of the ancients its contents or subject matter was known we cannot tell. The book of Abraham itself tells us that its original text is a first-person account written by the great patriarch.

The story, briefly recounted, allows us to see how the Lord works within the broad sweep of history to bring about his purposes. The book of Abraham is remarkable in part because of the miraculous way it came to us. Salvation is in Christ.” 1 An Ancient Text Restored It brings to pass the immortality and eternal life of man. We view the atonement of the Lord Jesus Christ as the center and core and heart of revealed religion. “These three divine events-the three pillars of eternity-are inseparably woven together into one grand tapestry known as the eternal plan of salvation. McConkie of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles testified that Jesus Christ was at the center of these pivotal episodes in salvation history: But the book of Abraham is a powerful, Christ-centered text that has as its main themes the eternal nature of the Abrahamic covenant, the preeminence of Jesus Christ as represented even in the vast scheme of planets and stars, and the role of Jesus Christ in the three great events of the plan of salvation-the Creation, the Fall, and the Atonement. The great power of the book is sometimes overlooked precisely because its five chapters offer tantalizing tidbits about subjects that may seem mysterious or forbidding-Egypt and the universe. 1:21–28), and yet, in the turn of a phrase, teach us profound truths about eternity. It is so dynamic that it can reveal the historical and cultural origins of ancient Egyptian civilization (see Abr. Truly, it is a most remarkable book-an authentic ancient record that immediately plunges us back into a specific time and place in the Near East, and yet, at the same time, opens to us the wide expanse of the physical universe.

13:39 D&C 9:2), the book of Abraham, given through the Prophet Joseph Smith, is a unique and priceless gem in our treasury of revealed scripture. Among the invaluable records the Lord promised would be restored in the latter days (see 1 Ne.

#12 pillars jay abraham

[ddarker-dreams]

Haven. Yan Alucard x F Reader [COMM]

Warnings: Yandere themes, unhealthy relationships, brief mentions of blood, and implied kidnapping. Word count: 2.6k.

Isolation does wonders to the brain.

You can recall, with some difficulty, your initial mindset upon being brought here. That you were going to fight tooth and nail in the face of adversity. The being who kept you tucked away in this remote, somber mansion miles from civilization gave little heed to your hollow threats. He mentioned that he was human once, and thus, understood that you’d crack eventually. It was an admission you didn’t believe — you didn’t want to believe such monstrosities could be born with flesh and blood such as you — in retrospect, he must’ve been honest. 

His voice surrounded you from multiple directions at once, as if he spoke in a room with operatic acoustics, promising that you’d come around with time. He was certain of that. You could snarl, reject him, or splash all the holy water you wanted; this was to be your reality. He was to be your reality. Immortality might be a farce, he claimed, but he was close enough to it to have unrivaled patience. 

And Alucard would be patient with you, true to his word. 

You can’t pinpoint when your standoffish behavior toward him started to change. 

It was a gradual descent, a miasma that seeped through the cracks of your resolve without invitation. Your days fell into a dreadful, monotonous routine. Hellsing employees would provide you with the essentials to stay alive. They wouldn’t look at you, nor speak to you; it was like you were a specter in their imagination that they didn’t wish to acknowledge. At first, you tried to appeal to their humanity. Begging them to take pity on you, or pleading for them to let you go. Your pride was thrown to the side, just for an attempt at freedom. 

They never so much as flinched when you screamed until your throat was raw and your voice hoarse. 

“Darling, have I not told you before?” A deep voice would ask, amused. “I am the only one you can seek for company. No one else will give it to you.” 

The sentence for crimes you never committed was far too cruel. 

Left in the clutches of a monster, away from everything you knew and loved, you gradually lowered your defenses. 

First came the questions. 

It was mindless, really, the ramblings of a woman deprived of social interaction for far too long. You spoke freely and without filter, testing the limits of what you could and could not get away with. Alucard never physically materialized himself during those days. He’d later claim that he didn’t want to frighten you more than he already had, as if the consideration made your dreary reality any better. Whatever the case, you always felt like you were being watched. Stalked. Fawned over. 

“Hypothetically, would sunlight kill you?” 

“No,” he replied. Sometimes in your mind, sometimes out loud. It grew difficult to tell the difference. “A weaker vampire, perhaps. We are creatures of the night for a reason.” 

“Can anything kill you?” 

A low chuckle. “If anyone were to be capable of that, it’d need to be an extraordinary human. I’ve noticed that the subject of my death has caught your interest.” 

“I’m taking notes just in the event it’s possible.” 

You were but a butterfly ensnared in his web. The more you struggled, snapped at, or condemned him, the more taken with you he became. It’s maddening to not be taken seriously for so long. If he was a dog for the Hellsing family, then you sometimes wondered what that made you. When your mind lingered there, the world felt as if it lost all color; so you were quick to focus on anything else. 

The master suite you occupied never felt like it belonged to you. It was as if it was pulled from the pages of a magazine — a canopy bed, heavy maroon curtains, a vanity made of cherrywood with dressers to match, silver candelabras that were rarely lit, and paintings you’ve stared at for too many hours to count. As a game, you used to try and guess which era each painting came from. Your boredom knew no limits. 

You stared up at the ceiling, resting on your back. “Alucard.” 

A few moments later, you sensed his presence; the atmosphere in the room became heavier.  

Displeased, you pursed your lips together. This just wouldn’t do. The power imbalance between the two of you was laughable, comparable to a boot and an ant, yet you deluded yourself into thinking you were on equal ground. Alucard allowed you to speak your thoughts and never threatened you with physical harm. With this in mind, you felt a surge of confidence and spoke like you were the mistress of the house rather than its prisoner.

“I wish to see you.” 

Silence. 

Alucard always had an immediate response. Whether it was a snarky quip or a laugh that’d send chills down your spine, he never missed a beat, his tongue sharp and his wit sharper. This might be the first time you said something that truly took him off guard. It brought you a thrill, fleeting as it may have been, to finally have proven yourself a worthy adversary to an extent. Someone to take seriously rather than just a toy for his whims.

“I know you’re listening, Alucard,” you sighed. You swung your legs over the bed and sat your feet upon the hardwood floor. “I’m tired of talking to the ceiling, the wall, or wherever else I choose to stare when you speak. Let me see the face of the man who claims to love me.” 

“You forget that I am no man.” 

Is that the detail he’s going to get hung up on? 

Undeterred, you pressed on. “Trust me, I haven’t forgotten.” 

Every hair on your body stood to attention as the lit candles extinguished in a sudden draft. Your fingers pressed indents into the mattress of your bed, and you took in a deep breath, waiting to see what fresh horrors would haunt your dreams tonight. Should you ever be particularly disagreeable, Alucard amused himself with frightening you, using shadows or noises. He had enough material to work with. For a moment, you considered this to be a similar parlor trick; maybe you crossed an unspoken line and earned his ire in the process. 

Your attention snapped to the center of your bedroom. Upon an evergreen rug, a tall man with skin pale as moonlight peered down at you. His hair was long and black, and the more you stared, the more you swore it moved of its own accord. The outfit he wore came from another time that you couldn’t begin to guess. It’d be more accurate to describe it as armor, metallic chainmail that rattled with every step he took. The humored expression you expected Alucard to adorn is more solemn, almost pensive, like his mind was someplace else. 

He walked over to where you were seated. His eyes, crimson as the rivers of blood he undoubtedly consumed, betrayed none of the thoughts in his head. 

You didn’t realize that your chest was heaving until he leaned over as if to scrutinize you. 

“Well?” Alucard inquired, his eyes lidded. “I’ve done as you’ve requested. Do words escape you, [First]? Has fear gripped your heart, despair your soul?” 

To see him with your own eyes was a sin, you were certain of it. It was as if you were a child who unlocked a door your parents always kept fastened; like you took a bite of fruit that condemned you with forbidden knowledge. You stared at him, your mouth agape, and you were chilled to the bone. This must’ve been the reaction he anticipated. When faced with an apparition that extends beyond human understanding, it’s difficult to know what to focus on.

So you spoke without thinking, the words tumbling out gracelessly. 

“You… you have a reflection after all. Huh.” 

As if to further emphasize your claim, you pointed at the mirror atop your vanity, and he followed your finger. Neither of you uttered a word again for some time. 

How brilliant, you thought. That was the best thing you could muster up after months of never meeting him face to face? In your defense, your circumstances were nothing short of unbelievable, so you tried not to be hard on yourself. You saw Dracula with your own eyes and made a joke. Would those be your final words? Is your eulogy going to mock your jester-like foolishness? 

He moved his hand and you froze. 

You felt a weight on your head but still couldn’t comprehend what he did. Perhaps a roundabout way of draining your blood? You never imagined this method to be viable. When there was no dizziness to signal blood loss, you blinked and realized what he actually did. 

Alucard patted you on the head. Once, then twice. 

How sad that this was the first (human?) contact you received in months, and you welcomed it with open arms. His hand felt cold but you didn’t mind. The warmth that spread throughout your touch-deprived body more than made up for it. He was pleased with you, you could feel it in the air, like the world itself heaved a collective sigh of relief. The monster had been sated another day. 

“I knew you wouldn’t disappoint, my dear.” 

You felt a mix of frustration and exhilaration at his husky praise. 

Those experiences may have been years ago, yet they lived on fresh in your memory, refusing to ever fade into the background. You empathize with the version of yourself that fought the good fight. Belligerence was exhausting. Resistance brought you nothing. Fury could only burn and fester for so long. That’s what you think now, as you wrap yourself in a red trench coat that carries death in its seams, the owner a few feet behind you.

You hiss at a sudden sharp sensation pricking your finger. 

Droplets of blood seep from the fresh wound and you frown. Too absorbed in your thoughts, you must’ve gotten careless when cutting up your snack. The knife is stained with your blood along with the cutting board. Fortunately for your appetite, the apple you were slicing into wedges is unaffected. Pulling the sleeves of the long trench coat back, you go over to the sink to rinse the fresh wound off. 

“Allow me,” Alucard, who had been watching you in silence, lifts your hand with the utmost gentleness. He pushes aside the fabric of his jacket that he allowed you to wear (after lots of begging), stifling a laugh at the displeased face you make. 

“This is stereotypical, even for you.” 

He ignores your weak complaint, lifting up your finger to his lips, and maintaining eye contact as he licks the accumulating blood. Flustered, your gaze drops to the floor, the weight of his stare too much to withstand. The wetness against your skin causes your head to feel light. You know he gets a kick out of embarrassing you, which makes this all the more humiliating. That, and there’s no hiding how your heart hammers away, you’re certain he can hear it. 

Alucard pulls away, pressing a prolonged kiss to your hand before murmuring, “How do you expect me to deny myself when you’re this alluring?” 

“Self-control,” is your dry response. 

“I have more than you give me credit for,” he relinquishes his grip. “You made me wait longer than I would for anyone else.” 

Now that he’s had his snack, you go for yours, plopping the tarte fruit into your mouth and savoring the crunchiness. It feels nice to have some self-agency back, little as it may be. No longer do you have to eat meals prepared elsewhere by strangers whose faces you saw in passing. Since you’ve proven yourself docile enough, perks like using kitchen knives have been granted. Any victory is worth celebrating, as far as you’re concerned. You’ll take what you can get. 

Alucard picks up the knife which you nicked yourself with on accident, and muses, “Have you ever considered stabbing me with this, dear?” 

He knows when you’re lying, so you decide not to. 

“Once or twice,” you shrug, silently hoping he doesn’t take that as a reason to relinquish kitchen privileges. “But it wouldn’t do any good, would it? You’d play dead to mess with me, then rise up, cackling or whatever. It’d be a waste of perfectly fine cutlery.” 

“How prudent of you.” 

You smile and press your fingers to his chest as if to chastise him. “Don’t ask questions you don’t want the answer to, Alucard. Sulking is unbecoming of a Count.” 

“You’re sounding more and more like my wife by the day.” 

The comment would’ve upset you in the past, but you’re used to his teasing by now. He’ll do whatever he can to get you worked up. Admittedly, he knows what buttons to push, though you’re spared from this if you’re acting agreeably. Which has been the disposition you’ve seen fit to take up for now. Sometime in the near future, you might risk a rebellious stint again, for old time’s sake more than anything else. You don’t want to disappoint the past you too much. 

The grandfather clock in the hallway chimes twelve times, signaling that it's midnight. You finish your late-night snack and clean up, humming all the while washing the dishes. Such a mundane task fills you with a sense of fulfillment that you’d been deprived of for ages. You remain under Alucard’s surveillance, so as to keep you from seriously harming yourself, yet it’s nothing you haven’t gotten used to. 

After returning to your room and preparing for bed, you stretch your arms above your head and yawn. 

“Do you even need to sleep?” You ask Alucard, who lays on your bed, waiting for you to join him. 

“It can be satisfying at times,” he answers, to which you hum. He allows you to get yourself comfortable, then brings you into a one-sided embrace, securing your form against his. You let him do as he pleases without raising a fuss. Such is the nature of your relationship — give and take — though he takes far more than he gives. You’re able to take strolls in the garden, bake, and participate in other hobbies again. In return, he gets everything that you are. What a fair trade, right? 

“You once told me that it’d take an extraordinary human to kill you,” you recall, nestling yourself into the feathery pillows. “I wish you hadn’t lied to me.” 

Alucard’s unnaturally cold fingers press against your left rib cage, subconsciously rubbing over the skin. 

“What makes you believe I was lying?” 

You take a deep breath. “Well… don’t you intend to turn me soon? I hoped that everything was a buildup and that in the end, I’d be the so-called ‘extraordinary’ human to strike you down. How lovely would that have been? Shakespeare himself could never have thought of an ending like that.” 

“Amusing girl,” he chuckles against your neck, his chest rumbling against your back. “I was right to have chosen you to be by my side. Not a day has passed where you haven’t kept me thoroughly entertained. It’s a shame you weren’t born in an earlier century, I would’ve loved to have met you sooner.” 

Drowsiness begins to take you and your eyelids grow heavy. Still, you manage to mutter one more thought before succumbing to sleep. 

“How lonely it must’ve been.” 

Slipping in and out of consciousness for the night, you hear his voice echoing in your soul. 

“More so than you could ever imagine.” 

#alucard x reader #Hellsing Alucard #alucard headcanons #yandere alucard #hellsing ultimate #hellsing ultimate imagines #yandere alucard hellsing #yandere #yandere x reader #my stuff #commissions

[megthemewlingquim]

someone new.

summary: there's an art to life's distractions.

pairing: eventual hades! loki x persephone! reader

warnings: implied smut, alcohol consumption

a/n: here it is, the first part of foreigner's god. as said in this fic's masterlist, these will not be chapters, but rather short stories and one shots that can be read separately or as one whole piece. it's up to you.

i plan to base each part off of one or two hozier songs. this is inspired by "someone new".

is there a right way to fall in love?

    that’s what loki asks himself every day — well, every night — when he spends his free time at bars and gatherings. populated widely with fellow gods, goddesses, and spirits of many colors and passions; these bars are perfect places to find someone new.

    being the god of death, however, puts loki at a bit of a disadvantage. yes, the stereotypes are, unfortunately, true. loki is dark, a little antisocial, and very quiet. beautiful in appearance — death is seductive, at least to the willing.

    ‘the willing’ being many a spirit, many a dryad or goddess or creature who wants bragging rights, or a little nightly thrill. ‘that’s right,’ they say, ‘i had a little dance with death last night.’

loki doesn’t mind the mornings when his temporary partners talk about the nights, but he always cringes when they mention that accursed french phrase — la petite mort. it’s a joke to them. a mockery.

   yet, they stay, and sometimes, they come back for another little death.

    the spirits and goddesses never make a big impact on him. he is with one for a night, then another for a night, and so on. he falls in love every day with someone new and it’s a bore. a bore and a drag.

    dark caresses don’t do much to numb the pain: the pain of loneliness and solitude. the ache in his heart is constant, tearing at his mind whenever it can. alcohol can't do much either — all gods have a very high tolerance. mead was made for them.

   so loki is left with no escape besides those that come from the willing. little deaths. they make him feel loved.

   no...

   no one loves death. some crave him. but they don't love him.

   that’s the common theme running through loki’s head every time he takes someone home with him, or goes upstairs with them to the top floors of the inns he’s at, where the bedrooms are. it’s a distraction.

   however, the cycle ends when, while pointlessly wandering around his usual bar, he sees someone new one night. you.

   you radiate this... this warmth that he’s never felt before. everyone around you seems to be affected by it too - they don’t treat you as the life of the party, but they do gravitate towards you like birds to a nest. 

    and you’re quite shy, but infectiously happy and cheerful. you’re so beautiful, with your bright eyes that he knows are wide and filled with wonder, and your lovely skin that he knows is so soft. and your smile that he knows is so comforting to all who see it.

   to everyone else, you feel like they’ve just wandered into a happy memory, or a sun-lit room that’s pleasantly warm and golden. you feel familiar. ordinary, but lovely all the same.

   to loki, you feel... feel like something he’s only experienced in dreams. so, really, he’s never felt it before in his immortal life: something warm and alive and... and anticipatory. like there’s new things about to come up to the surface — flowers, new animals, maybe. you give off a sense of... he can’t describe it well. a slow and joyful awakening something.

   and you also feel completely and utterly powerful. unstoppable. he’s terrified of you, and yet he’s drawn to you. you’re so fascinating, strange. not as if you could end the world, no, that’s his own job. but it’s as if you can bring the whole world to life, raise it back up again after the chaos fades.

   you feel like spring. like rebirth. like new life.

   and that’s when it hits him.

   persephone. he’s heard the name passed around before, but before now, he has never seen the face behind the name. something about this sparks some fear in him: how would persephone, goddess of spring, daughter of demeter, react to seeing anyone even remotely like himself?

   for a moment, he’s grateful that you’re not looking at him; you’re actually looking at the table, at the drink you’re sipping. there’s a look on your face that isn’t bored, nor afraid. maybe... observant.

   people are around you still. not crowding, but not interacting with you either. it’s like you have a bubble around you, keeping everyone from getting too close. maybe it’s your doing but maybe it’s theirs. honestly, you’d think that dryads and gods and goddesses and spirits of all forms and colors and subjects would be more accepting.

   he pities you. you seem lonely.

   loki takes a few steps forward, betraying his own fear. like the red sea, the crowd parts. some are bold and unafraid, and they give loki varying looks: disgusted, seductive, snarky. you don’t notice him until he sits down in front of you, at the other end of the table.

   “hi,” he says calmly. he manages a small smile. “you’re new here, aren’t you?”

   your eyes lift to lock with his own. immediately, you recoil just the slightest bit. he knows what you’re thinking: wait, that’s hades! god of death... wh-why is he talking to me?

   “it’s alright,” he soothes. “don’t worry. you’ve probably heard of all the stories: gods kidnapping and doing terrible things to goddesses and spirits and dryads. i’m not here to do any of that. i promise.”

   with a single, somewhat confused blink, you nod. “m-my mother has told me a lot about that stuff,” you say slowly, as if saying anything too revealing will somehow alert demeter and get you in trouble. “she’s... she’s terrified...”

   “what is she terrified of? that those terrible things might happen to you?”

   “yes,” you say. “she’s told me that she’s had nightmares in the past. specifically about you. how you’ll kidnap me and take me to hell to live with you.”

   he laughs at that - a rich, amused laugh that takes the shivers out of you. “that’s bullshit. overprotective mothers, yeah?”

   you shrug. “she loves me.”

   “and are you afraid of me, princess?” the last word is whispered. his voice extremely soft - it’s a curious question.

   he notices how you lick your lips. “no,” you say. he notices how your eyes flick all over him. “no, i’m not.” and you seem truthful.

   “smart girl,” he says with a grin. “i hate liars. there’s not a god on in the world that’s ever been truthful. well, besides jesus. yahweh. whatever you wanna call him.” loki leans back, crossing his hands behind his head and bringing his feet up to the table. “your father, though... he’s the worst of ‘em. having children with other women, including your mother, while hera has to sit by and watch, and then lying about it.”

   “we’re gods,” you say. “i'm not trying to justify things but... we’re far from perfect.”

   “damn right we are. we’re fucked up. good. we can agree on something. most days, people think us gods are... perfect things. role models. and, maybe some are. but not us. not the gods of olympus.”

   he pauses, takes a swig from a beer bottle that was not in his hand a few seconds ago. “i was wondering if you wanted to do what humans do.” loki winces at the awkwardness. “when they're... y'know. interested in someone.”

   “you're interested... in me?” you ask, incredulously.

   “yeah, i am.” one sip of beer has loosened his tongue. or maybe that's just his confidence soaring now. “maybe this hasn't been the best introduction to things but i would love to take you out sometime. show you things.”

   “my —” you swallow. “i'd get in trouble.” you shrink away just a bit.

   his smile fades and it's replaced with a sadder, more sincere look. “the best things in life have risk to them. it's time i show you that.”

   and really, he does feel sorry for you. it's your first time at a bar, you're lonely. no friends as far as he can tell. an overprotective goddess mother.

   “think of it this way. i think you're very pretty and i like your honesty. i would like to help you see the world, and to have a little fun, since your mother has obviously never let you do anything in your very, very long life.”

   “i'm twenty—one.”

   “and now i'm wondering if demeter actually has you tell people that, as if you're a teenage mortal.” loki shakes his head, disappointed. “that's pathetic. you're a bajillion years old. you're a goddess! you should be able to do whatever the fuck you want, right?”

   when there's no answer from you, he sighs. leans forward to sit normally, putting both of his elbows on the table and pointing his hands at you. “alright. i'll roll with it for now. you're twenty—one. i guess. you can drink. you can go out alone to bars and other places. you can meet new people. you're an adult. think about that.

   “so, again. i think you're very pretty and i wanna show you around. get to know you. would you like to do that with me?” he raises his eyebrows a little, waiting for a response.

   it's an eternity before you can win a battle in your mind. slowly, you nod, giving him a smile. “yeah,” you whisper. “yeah, i would. thank you.”

   “don't thank me just yet, sweetheart. i haven't shown you anything yet.” he gets up, pushes his chair in.

   before he leaves, he winks at you. “call me loki. it's... not as dreadful... as hades. and... what do i call you?”

   you say your name, your voice quiet.

   “much better than persephone, i think. it suits you. we'll keep in touch, ok?”

   “okay,” you say. butterflies are flying rapidly in your stomach.

   loki leaves you there. he'd much rather take you back to your home himself, but that would be too risky for the time being. for now, he walks out of that bar feeling like the king of the world.

#foreigner's god #loki x reader #loki #loki fanfic #loki x reader smut #loki x reader smut headcanons #loki x reader drabble #loki x reader headcanons #loki x you #loki x y/n #greek mythology au #mythology au #hozier #loki odinson #hades and persephone #au #alternate universe #marvel cinematic universe #loki au #loki drabble #loki fic #marvel #mcu

[phantomato]

Five Tom Riddle Crossover Fics to Read

Tom Riddle is a difficult character to ship. For those of us who want to see pairings beyond the Big Two (Tomarry and Tomione), canonical options peter out relatively quickly. Sure, we can invent our own pairings by fleshing out side characters, but sometimes, the itch is best scratched by borrowing from another canon.

And it makes sense for Tom more than nearly anyone else in HP. Tom was born into an era that is the subject of so much literature, so it’s easy to find another person kicking around postwar Europe if that’s your goal. He’s an archetypal character, the villain seeking immortality, and can be matched against other villains with the same aims. Hell, even his quest to recover lost artifacts turns into the basis for two of these works—Tom Riddle has the perfect combination of a recognizable context and character model, plus the ambiguity of his canon timeline, to slot him alongside so many other fictional figures.

I want to pause on some of these themes for a second. Immortality or relationship to age, for one, is something that comes up in three of these pairings: the Darkling and Koschei the Deathless are both immortal characters in their own canons, and Edmund Pevensie is not immortal but has aged and de-aged repeatedly in his travels to and from Narnia. The HP series doesn’t give us nearly this wealth of different perspectives on age and immortality, which is fair—HP makes it clear that immortality is unnatural and undesirable, and Flamel is notably a ‘good person’ because of his willingness to accept his own death—but for a character as obsessed with the idea as Tom, some emotions can only be explored when you match him with another character who has a complicated relationship to aging. Even someone like Indiana Jones, not immortal and not trying to be, has an interesting perspective to bring to a story because he has seen so many other quests for power gone terribly awry.

Of course, the other thing we get from crossover pairings is the ability to match Tom with a villainous character. And whether you’re a fan of conflict at the start of a relationship or not, I think there’s something to be found in putting two villains together: moral arguments, when they exist, are rarely about whether death is necessary but about what kinds of death are best used when; the entire concept of either a redemption arc or a breaking bad arc can be thrown out a window. It’s a space wherein our two villains are allowed to be themselves, and the reveal of the extent of each character’s villainy becomes a strange form of celebration. This is challenging to achieve if one sticks to HP canon alone, whereas crossovers are a fruitful space.

My selection methodology was to read every crossover fic with a clear focus on Tom Riddle or Voldemort on AO3. I found crossover pairings by visiting the meta pages for the Tom Riddle, Voldemort, and Tom Riddle | Voldemort tags—I may have missed some pairings for Tom Riddle, as the character has over 300 child relationship tags and AO3 cuts off at 300 displayed. If you know of any ships I missed and should check out, do tell! I’ll also make a note here that one of these fics is my own—if self-recs bother you, skip Bluebird.

The following five fics are ordered by wordcount. Let me know what you think!

Neurotic Virtuosi, by skazka

Crossover: Hannibal Rising (movie version). The wizarding world exists, and Tom and Hannibal encounter each other in non-magical Eastern Europe.

Summary: Tom and Hannibal ride the same train when Tom is hunting down the diadem. Tom shares an apple and thinks about keeping Hannibal.

Mature, <1k, Graphic Torture Fantasies

Why?: This is one of those pairings that I wouldn’t have thought to do when the characters were both young, but it’s so much better for that choice! The length of this fic means we only get a taste of their interactions, but what a taste it is. Tom’s internal fantasies are horrifying and described in a very erotic way, which fits both characters.

This also serves as an interesting vision of what Tom might have experienced during his world tour to find the diadem, a period we rarely get to see. I particularly like that the author chose to write it as frustrating and mostly fruitless; a Tom who is stymied and unsuccessful is a particular weakness of mine.

Two Sides of the Same Coin, by Anonymous

Crossover: Chronicles of Narnia. Both Hogwarts and Narnia are real, and the characters meet in Britain. The magic isn’t the same, but there’s mutual recognition.

Summary: Tom tries to use sex to seduce secrets out of Edmund. Edmund sees something reminiscent of his younger self, the version of him who could join the White Witch, in Tom Riddle.

Explicit, 2k

Why?: Edmund and Tom are a pairing made in crossover heaven, both boys of a similar age born into war in the same country and whose discoveries of magical worlds help them escape it. Both lust for power and make poor choices; Edmund canonically recovers and finds redemption from his actions, and Tom does not.

This fic wears the hat of something pure smut, starting in the middle of a sex scene and tagged with top/bottom roles, etc., and it is that and does that well. But give it a shot for Edmund’s reflection at the end, his hopeful musings that he can apply the lessons learned from Aslan to help Tom before Tom’s utterly lost. It’s a crossover ship with unbelievable potential for both characters, and this fic makes me want so much more.

Shedding Skin, by electric_typewriter

Crossover: Deathless by Catherynne M. Valente. Both the wizarding world and the magic of Deathless exist.

Summary: Tom meets Koschei before splitting his soul. They keep meeting, and Tom keeps attempting to match Koschei’s immortality.

Not Rated, 2k

Why?: Immortality via relocation or storage of souls is an idea that easily predates Harry Potter as a series, and seeing two different versions of the some core idea interacting with one another is precisely what crossovers exist to enable. Koschei as an immortal being that found his immortality in a way he considers superior is a fascinating concept, because it creates a power imbalance between them that leaves Tom always running to catch up. And Tom, poor Tom, feels like a desperate man, finding sensation only when he’s around Koschei and feeling nothing at any other time.

This reads a bit like you’re dissociating. The author uses descriptive language to keep the reader a little distant from the grounded reality of the events happening, which has the effect of keeping you focused on the metaphysical question of what it means to have part of a soul.

Bluebird, by Phantomato

Crossover: Shadow and Bone. S&B summoning powers instead of HP magic, set in the real world, with characters’ histories preserved.

Summary: Tom is the second sun summoner to exist, born long after the first gave up her powers and lived out her natural life. He tracks down the Darkling, the shadow summoner who never really died.

Explicit, 17k

Why?: Tom is an immortal being for at least part of his life, and his character arc is about pursuit of immortality, but he is fundamentally a young immortal, and is killed before he can graduate to old immortality. Aleksander, the Darkling, is canonically an old immortal, and his character arc is about the burden of living with the knowledge that you will likely always be alone. That loneliness sets the scene for the relationship between Tom and Aleksander, driving Aleksander’s behavior—he fundamentally believes he will always be alone, even an immortal like Tom passes through his life.

There is a high proportion of smut in this, serving in place of the emotional honesty that neither character can muster, and I recommend it for that. But the story also relies on investment in quiet everyday moments shared between the characters. It’s a fic told through behavior because both men are so cautious around one another, where they nevertheless manage to find sympathy for the other.

Riddles of the Dead, by Maeglin_Yedi

Crossover: Indiana Jones. Blends together the wizarding world and the mysticism present in Indiana Jones films.

Summary: Tom Riddle hires an expert archaeologist and gentleman adventurer, Dr. Indiana Jones, to help him pursue an artifact that might grant him immortality. There’s fucking, fighting, magic, snakes, and some difficult choices in store for our leading men.

Explicit, 18k, Angst

Why?: Maeglin Yedi has been a mainstay of the Tom Riddle/Lord Voldemort ficspace for nearly two decades, but an old crossover like this can unfortunately slip through the cracks. It shouldn’t! With an original publishing date in early 2005, this predates the concept of horcruxes, the knowledge of Tom’s early years at Wool’s orphanage, and, well, so much of what we would eventually learn about Tom Riddle as a person. It’s a testament to the author that the story manages to capture Tom’s character in such a way that he’s still fully recognizable to a current-day reader, despite working with so much less canon.

This fic is fun. It’s an adventure, featuring hazards and traps and assassination attempts that you would expect from an Indiana Jones film, but the magic and mystery never overwhelms the relationship at the core of this story. It’s set up beautifully, with a mirrored structure between the front and back halves of the fic that foreshadows the inevitable end of the story. Watching older, confident Indy seduce young, hungry Tom is a delight. One (possible) mark of a great Tom-centric fic, imo, is to be able to portray Tom enjoying the exchange of power, giving it to someone as well as taking it from them, and this Tom is able to revel in giving up some perceived power as he practices being vulnerable with Indy. The romance is quite sweet, especially considering that ‘angst’ tag at the top of the fic!

#tom riddle #tomato fic rec

[heraldofzaun]

what are your thoughts on viktor and being neurodivergent? though like, obligatory disclaimer that if riot ever did come out and say that "hey! viktor is canonically [something]" that would be catastrophic but i think it is a little bit of fun for consideration

Oh! Well I like to think he's autistic, which is partially because I am too. (Of course in canon it would be catastrophic because haha, oh man, look at how they've treated Blitzcrank's biographies ever since they gave him an updated one. There's some coding in there, alright, and I am... not a fan...)

I’ve posted a lot of long posts recently (this is no exception) and this is also on a kind of tricky subject, so I’m readmore’ing it.

So anyways, while I have to admit that some of the reason why (my) Viktor is autistic is because I am - I think that you can make a general semi-convincing argument. Or I'm so wrapped up in my own interpretations that I can, at the least. Anyways, from here on out when I say Viktor I mean my personal take. Your mileage may vary on applying this to other interpretations.

(Also, thoughts on new lore Jayce's being kind of coded to be like, a stereotypical autistic dude? (If you have any I mean.) I don't like that Riot is doing it, of course, but I've seen a few good rehabilitative takes on it in fandom. @hamartio's Jayce springs to mind, because their Jayce has been developed over the years and also written by someone who like. Cares. Anyways, I have my own personal Jayce ideas that rely on his old lore so he's not really an asshole there, at least in those regards, so I don't really have many thoughts on new Jayce. I think new Viktor is... pretty coded as well, but it’s also insanely stereotypical. The whole “always working, always wants certainty, gets into automation not because he (primarily) wants to help those injured by catastrophes in Zaun but because the catastrophes interrupt his work” thing makes me uncomfortable. Maybe I’ll write sometime on why the rewrite of his lore fails, in my opinion, to hit upon the same themes of his first - would that be of interest to folks? Anyways, this parenthetical is too long.)

I think that autistic Viktor is cool and makes sense, somewhat because of the fact that the ways he goes about solving his problems are, er, unorthodox. (Of course I am not saying that the GE is because he’s autistic, because that’s stupid. This is why I’m kind of squirrely about talking so openly about what I think Viktor’s got going on, and why I don’t really trust if a non-autistic person headcanons him as autistic. There’s a lot of room for that headcanon to just reinforce the “autistic people are supergeniuses with no emotions that work based off of Facts and Logic” trope, and I hate that.) Since a lot of autism is about feeling adrift from/at odds with neurotypical society, I think that Viktor’s general solutions and also his idealistic leanings in the face of everything Zaun is tracks for that. Roboticization makes sense as a way to stop suffering and death, because it’s more achievable than individual feats of immortality through magic or whatever. Viktor doesn’t really get why people would be so opposed to it - he’s made it clear that while he dislikes his own emotions and wants them gone, he doesn’t expect others to cast off theirs. (Maybe he expected that when he was in the thick of his emotional pain, mostly because he couldn’t imagine others choosing differently than he at the time, but not in the current day.)

Of course, externally, when the scary cyborg man who admits to cutting off his own limbs says “no, being a robot is cool, you can keep your emotions even”, any Zaunite (or any person) is going to interpret that as “he is definitely lying”. Viktor doesn’t quite make that leap. (I have thoughts on the whole Theory of Mind concept and I don’t mean to say that Viktor can’t empathize - he does, and does too much - with others, but I think that in this instance he just can’t quite understand sometimes why people don’t believe him.) He also doesn’t quite get why people would be so attached to the bodies that they’re currently in, especially if he can make a mechanical replica. Or why people might want to die and pass into non-existence after a life well lived. (To him, personally, there’s always more to do. Also he’s terrified of death but that’s another topic.)

I also think that Viktor’s empathy is of the hyper- rather than hypo- kind, partially because I feel like outside of self-advocacy groups the mere concept of autistic hyperempathy is seen as like... impossible? It’s also because he generally seems to be kind of an emotional guy in canon before Stanwick, what with the lore saying that “almost no trace of the original man remained” in reference to Viktor reemerging as someone without emotions. That, combined with the fact that he was described as having a “hope to better society” before everything went down, kind of makes me believe that he was a naive idealist type. (Again, not that autism makes you naive, but...) But yes, hyperempathy. Hence "no pain, no wars, no suffering, no death” being part of his ideology for the Glorious Evolution. He gets pretty ripped up about people being hurt, and it’s really only gotten worse over the years as he’s grasped the full scope of pain in the world.

Personally, I write pre-Stanwick-incident Viktor as someone who is still somewhat awkward with expressing emotion, but it’s not due to him not having them. It’s due to the fact that the ways in which he naturally expressed them and in which he interacted with the world were just... seen as odd/different/etc. (I don’t think Runeterra has an autism diagnosis or particularly excellent psychology, even in Piltover and Zaun, so he just gets the “you’re a weird dude” treatment for his entire life.) Stimming or smiling a certain way or talking a lot about his interests or, you know, the general autistic existence is weird to most people around him, as it unfortunately is in real life. So he’s more reserved until you actually know him, because he’s just masking all the time. (Fun fact about my Viktor: he’s pretty expressive under that actual mask of his. It helps to not have to micromanage expressions all the time when he isn’t experiencing a bout of flat affect due to [gestures vaguely at everything else going on with his mental state], although he sometimes feels poorly about not being able to manage himself. But that’s his issues, and I think it’s good for him to show emotion.)

Side note - Stanwick was able to do such a number on Viktor due to: a) Stanwick being very charismatic and manipulative, on top of being an actually smart man and scientist - he’s really a great example of a “good Zaunite”, in the sense of being good at being what the culture rewards, b) Viktor actively dealing with the death of his parents and Stanwick being an older adult who’d treated him kindly and had never seemed put-off by Viktor’s oddities, and c) Viktor not realizing that he’d get backstabbed, because yes he knows that that happens in academia but Stanwick’s nice. Whether or not the outcomes would have been the same if Viktor were more competent at being “a good Zaunite”... well, probably not. Viktor ended up where he did because of who he is.

(Secondary side note: Viktor has a very strong and very black-and-white sense of what’s right and wrong, as well as general black-and-white thinking. You can see how that would have... not helped in the situations he was put through.)

This is getting kind of rambling, but I guess the point of this is that Viktor’s wanting to remove his emotions may be cloaked in the language of them being “inefficient” or “unhelpful”, which would feed into autistic stereotypes, but it’s really more of a matter of them being too painful and raw for him to process. He feels too much and hurts too much, and no amount of positive emotions in the world will (in his mind) make up for the pain he’s felt and will feel. So it’s better to not feel anything at all, isn’t it? At least then you aren’t overwhelmed by it all.

Viktor just hasn’t fit in with Zaun for all his life, really. Not as an odd child who can tell you all about science-fiction and techmaturgy, not as an odd and reserved teenager/young adult, not as a bright young doctoral student still dealing with grief but trying to make the best of it, and... not as the Machine Herald. But now he’s given up on trying to fit in, for better or for worse.

(Other miscellaneous and less serious autistic thoughts on him: generally a pretty fixed diet, partially due to being autistic but also due to what’s easily available in Zaun + what agrees with his stomach. A fan of weight and pressure - I like to think that the reason his outfit is like that is that he finds it comforting, and also that he has a weighted blanket or two around. Special interests of general techmaturgy, robotics, and science-fiction. He can talk for hours about any of those, and has. Both his parents were mildly spectrum-y, his mother a little bit moreso, so they just kinda assumed that him being him was out-of-the-ordinary and a bit strange but not something “horribly wrong”. Oh! And his third arm, which is under a little less conscious control than the rest of him, still stims sometimes when he’s working or otherwise not paying attention to it.)

This was very long and jumped around a lot, because I find it hard to give a convincing paragraph-by-paragraph argument about exactly why I think that Viktor is autistic, or rather why I headcanon him as such. But hopefully it was interesting! I just have a lot of thoughts on him, as well as the general state of autistic-coded or perceived-as-autistic-by-individuals (both allistic and autistic) characters in media and so it’s very hard to do anything concise without branching out into discussing other topics.

#anonymous #headcanons | beneath the mask #//preemptive remark that these are my own thoughts on autism which are filtered through the lens of my life experiences #//as well as that of some aspects (emphasis on some) of academic research. baron-cohen can choke with his theories #//also i did not explain some terms here under the assumption that those reading would probably already know them. feel free to ask if not!

[thatsadorbsyo]

LFRP: Lucas Nevin [Balmung]

About:

Boasting a big heart, a keen mind, and a crude tongue, Lucas Nevin is a relative newcomer to Eorzean shores, and is eager to earn his place among her cities. He's an engineer by trade, a newly devoted follower of Nymeia, and a doggedly curious conversation partner. Redemption, creation, and the sometimes immiscible facets of the self are recurring themes in his story.

Basic Information:

Full Name: Lucas Nevin Gender: Male Age: 27 Race: Midlander Hyur Heritage: Dalmascan, Thavnairian Current Residence: Ul’dah

General Character Info:

Sexual Orientation: Bisexual Relationship Status: Monogamously Partnered Occupation: Engineer, Tinkerer, Mechanic Hobbies: Goldsmithing, Thaumaturgy

Notable Features: A gold labret stud under his bottom lip; knuckles that are often split, scabbed, or bruised; multiple gold and brass rings inset with rubies and marble eyes; one large ring of technological (magitek?) design; often wearing clothes with golden, black, white, or bright red fabric; often carries a gun; often in the company of small, custom-built machina of his own design.

Physical Appearance: 5′11″ and 170 ponze; warm-toned brown skin; light brown eyes; curly, medium-length, natural black hair; big eyebrows; good posture; dark under-eye bags; lightly muscular.

Personality: Blunt, though easily cowed if he gets the sense that he’s been insensitive. Kind to most people, though quick to anger and quick to fluster. Prone to oversharing but somehow without revealing very much; paradoxically secretive. Pragmatic and ingenious. Tries, though often fails, to be delicate. Curious, attentive, and considerate. Action-oriented; will take the lead if no one else steps forward. Prone to flights of egoistic fancy. Loves firearms of all types. Loves to meet experts in other fields. Probing, sometimes to a fault.

Hooks:

Engineer with Management Experience: Lucas boasts a lifetime of education and experience in engineering, both mechanical and magiteknical. He recently served as the overseer for a team of 14 airship engineers during an artifact-seeking expedition spearheaded by the Order of Nald'thal. Presently, he's working on decommissioning and repurposing the magitek ruins in Gyr Abania, as a specialist in the Immortal Flames engineering corp. If your character needs assistance or wants to talk shop, his door is open to you.

Tinkering and Restoration: In addition to engineering, Lucas also takes contract work for repairing and restoring treasured items. His specific competency lies in magitek or clockwork gadgets and keepsakes, but he welcomes a challenge in related fields. He'll give you a 10% discount on the quote if the item has a cool story attached to it.

Novice Thaumaturge and Goldsmith: Unproven but eager to learn, Lucas is looking for guidance and education from the thaumaturge and goldsmithing guilds in Ul'dah for these budding interests. If your character has ties to either organization, there are plenty of opportunities for them to meet.

A Tiny Bit Shady: Lucas may have a familiar face to characters belonging to either the thieves' guilds in Ishgard or the sky pirates in the Sea of Clouds. A very well-connected character may have heard rumors that he's been to Azys Lla. His exact association with these elements isn't readily known, but can be explored.

Proditor: If you were a student at the Imperial Magiteknical Academy in Garlemald or a member of the XIIth Legion in Gyr Abania and you think you recognize him... no, you fucking don't. (Please speak with me OOC before acting on this hook; I'm very selective about who I do this type of RP with.)

OOC:

Server: Balmung/Crystal DC Timezone: EST Contact: thatsadorbsyo#6895 on Discord, Lucas Nevin@Balmung in game. Carrd: https://nevin.carrd.co/

Looking for: Lucas is a story-heavy character and performs best in long-term, structured mission-style RP settings with IC debriefs for socializing and character growth, though he’s also good for short arcs involving commission work. He’s a good character for action and adventure, mentor/mentee training, dark/mature themes, plot-driven, puzzle/investigation, problem-solving, combat, and strictly lore-compliant RP.

Not looking for: I will not roleplay with players or characters who are under the age of 18, even if the subject matter is strictly safe for work. I will not roleplay with players who use transphobic terms like “futa” and “trap”. I am not seeking romantic RP or additional shipping partners for this character. I tend to shy away from most Garlean-themed roleplay unless it’s with people whom I trust to do it with nuance and good intent. I am not looking for purely social RP on this character.

#balmung #balmung rp #ffxiv #ffxiv rp #lfrp #lucas nevin #it's time to dust this boy off again i think #reblogs welcome and invited

[yan-twst]

Hello! You write scenario with vampire Vil, so... can I ask for vampire Rook this time?

rouge

warnings: mentions of death, blood, general yandere themes

word count: 2,588

a/n: the asker didn’t specify yandere here but, the vamp vil scenario they are talking about here was yan so uh, i’m making this a yan rook scenario.

----------

It’d been a while since any human dared walk into his home. It was akin to a mouse walking right into a trap, a bear stepping in a beartrap; surely by now all the villagers knew that those who entered a vampire’s lair were bound to never return. Killed, devoured, drained of their blood by the creatures who stalked the night- from time to time they’d find corpses, pale, cold and stiff, their blood drained to the last drop and expressions morphed into horrifying screams of terror for eternity.

And yet, he could see them as they nervously walked the darkened mansion with nothing but a candle on their hand, hot wax occasionally dripping into their hand and making them hiss in pain. He’d noticed them walk in; he could’ve leapt the second they stepped inside, he could’ve killed them at any moment, but he’d chosen to let them wander inside. Perhaps it was the sheer oddity of the situation, or maybe the hunter’s desire to observe his prey; whatever it was, Rook silently stalked the shaken human throughout his own mansion, watching as they cautiously looked around.

They were tired, clothes wet from the rain and dirtied with splotches of mud- they’d taken off their shoes, perhaps not wanting to leave footprints or dirty the carpets, but the rest of their clothes were soaked in rainwater. The heat from the measley candle they’d taken from a candleholder was clearly not nearly enough to warm them up- Rook rarely set up fireplaces, his undead body not needing the warmth mortals did- but now he wondered if they’d run towards one like a moth to a flame, in their current state. 

They were disheveled and exhausted, visibly scared- if he had to take a guess, he’d say they were a young villager who got lost and tried to find shelter in his adobe assuming it was abandoned due to its darkness and solitude. They very clearly had no clue they’d walked into the vampire’s den, judging by the fact that they were venturing in deeper; they had no weapons and no protection, they weren’t a vampire hunter or a soldier in any way, just a lost civilian who wandered into the worst place possible.

He watched for longer than he thought he would. There wasn’t anything interesting about this human, there shouldn’t have been, they were no different to the countless people he’d killed for sustenance before- they were prey and he was predator, easy as that, and yet he found himself almost fascinated. The way the moonlight filtering through the windows would illuminate them as they passed a window, their heavy breathing that combined with the chattering of their teeth as their body kept on growing colder and colder; there was something about them that kept Rook���s interest, far more than any other human had.

They were beautiful.

He’d lived a long life- he’d seen his fair share of lovers of all genders and backgrounds, met nobles and common folk alike who boasted appearances that went on to be legend- Rook had always chased for beauty, always seeking that ethereal concept; he’d turned more than one human into a vampire just because he believed their beauty had to be preserved, he’d collect decorations and paintings for his home to surround himself in art. And despite his current subject of interest clearly being a frightened commoner, dirty and shivering, he could sense it- by their quiet footfalls, their hushed breathing, the panic in their eyes, they were beautiful. How had such a human been living in proximity to his mansion without him realizing? He’d hate to think of the possibility that, had they not gotten lost today, he could have never met them and they’d have simply kept living their life until their time came to join their fellow humans in death; he was perhaps lucky fate had other plans for them, as they’d waltzed right into his grasp.

“Good evening, lapin.” Stepping out of the shadows, Rook finally spoke up- the terrified squeal that left the poor human echoed in the hall, almost dropping their candle in fright. They’d probably assumed the house was empty, and to suddenly come face to face with someone in the dark had almost been enough to frighten them to death. 

“A-aah, oh dear lord, are you the owner of this house...? I truly- I didn’t mean to intrude, I just- I went out to forage for some food for my family, but then it began to rain and night fell, and I couldn’t find my way back, and-” their panicked ramblings made Rook chuckle, as he waved a hand in the air as if to dismiss their justifications.

“Oh, no need to worry, I understand your plight. The forest can be so tricky once night falls, non?” he said, and he watched as relief melted into the human’s face, as they perhaps thought they’d managed to find an eccentric but kind nobleman’s home. “Besides, it’s dangerous for a weak thing like you to be out there at these times- the beasts that lurk the night would certainly make a feast out of you.”

“... Y-yes, I guess so.” they seemed shaken by his comment, perhaps their mind wandering to wolves or bears, or perhaps by the even grimmer image of their fellow villagers being found dead with two fang wounds in their neck, attacked by creatures of the night. It seemed to be the later case, as Rook instinctively licked his lips as he watched them bring a hand to their neck, perhaps remembering the images of carnage they’d seen on corpses left behind. “The village priest says it’s dangerous to walk around at night because of the vampires... He told me to wear my rosary and to carry holy water with me, just in case, but- lord, have you seen the state of the victims? I don’t think anything could protect the poor people who run into those beasts.”

Oh, it was so ironic- perhaps like the tragic comedies that sometimes ran in theatres in larger towns that he so adored. Watching the human talk about how scary and rough vampires were, thanking him for saving them, completely unaware he was biding his time until he’d sink his fangs into their flesh. He wouldn’t kill them yet, no, not yet; he had to consider if they should join his immortal ranks- after all, his sudden attraction to them had to mean they had the potential to shine bright. Perhaps he could turn them and keep them as a companion; bring them over to Vil so he could fix them up, or-

“... my betrothed was insistent I didn’t go out tonight, but there was no food left and nobody’s getting paid until next week, so I simply had to go see if there were any eggs or berries in the forest...” Rook’s eyes snapped open at the human’s words- a betrothed. It shouldn’t have been weird, not at all. Humans live so shortly, they marry fast and try to form families before their time runs out; in a small village, someone as beautiful as this human would certainly already be preparing to marry.

It made sense, and yet he felt a wave of jealousy permeate through him. For a vampire, Rook had never been one to particularly demean humans- he’d kill them, sure, but he wouldn’t go as far as to terrorize them for fun, or act as some other vampires did and consider them worms beneath him, inferior to immortals. But the flash of rage that coursed through him was undeniable. Usually he was content to hold beautiful things at arm’s length, to gaze at them, to keep around; he’d never been bothered if an ex-lover moved on, not if any of the humans he turned found other vampire lovers of their own. And yet this human, who he didn’t even know the name of, who he’d just met, was somehow bringing forth emotions foreign to him.

“Oh? Lapin, are you to marry soon?” he asked, trying to keep himself sounding friendly. The question seemed to make them cheer up a bit- despite the fact they were clearly shivering, too shy to ask if he could perhaps direct them to a fireplace.

“Ah, yes! I got engaged some weeks ago to someone close to me...” they blushed as they spoke, and despite the fact their face was adorable like that, the fact that someone else was causing it brought an acrid taste to Rook’s mouth. “... we’re going to get married next month, in the local church, and-”

“... Well, what a careless lover you have, then. Don’t they know that if they let their precious roam lose, they might be stolen by someone else?” Rook chuckled, a bit more darkly than usual. His words made them stop in their talking, as if confused. He went on. “If a rabbit runs lose on the forest, nobody should be surprised when the crow snatches it for itself.”

“... That’s, um-” the fear was back in their face now, eyes panickedly looking around; good. He much preferred that look on them, rather than the lovesick expression when talking about their betrothed. Perhaps this was bloodlust; maybe it’d been too long since he’d drank- it made no sense for him to find himself infatuated with a human like this, and yet the sight of their neck and their terrified gaze made him feel more alive than he’d ever been.

Without much of a thought, he pinned them to the wall- their scream was piercing. Perhaps they thought he was a creep, or maybe they’d finally connected the dots about his pale skin and the empty manor and realized he was a vampire; whatever it was, they didn’t vocalize it, instead choosing to scream for help. Even their scared screams were melodious, somehow; he didn’t know if he could truly blame hunger for the way he rejoiced in their squirming and crying.

“Now, now, lapin, you can’t blame me for this. If you’d kept on walking past my humble abode, I wouldn’t have seen you- I didn’t plan on hunting tonight. But what can one do when the prey saunters right into one’s grasp, hm?” he said breath ghosting over the juncture of their neck and shoulder. They struggled; but the coldness had numbed their body, hours of walking leaving them weak. Even at their peak, no human could overpower a vampire easily, not one as strong as Rook. “I’m afraid you can’t get away with no consequences just because you’re beautiful, lapin.”

Their blood was delicious. It had been too long since he’d gotten to indulge like this- to pin his prey down, to drink their blood leisurely without having to think about being caught, from the comfort of his own home. It’d been too long since he’d found prey he enjoyed so much- usually the human’s panicked cries and sobbing and begging were nothing but background noise, and yet, for once, he found himself spurred to bite down again and again by the helpless whimpering of his victim. His blond hair tickled their neck, the elegant fabric of his attire becoming damp upon coming into contact with their rain soaked clothes, but he paid it little mind.

“S-stop, please...! I don’t- please, no, don’t... kill me...!” they were hiccuping as they cried, feebly trying to fight back- by now, the natural numbing of his saliva had to have taken away the pain, but nothing could soothe their fear. Rook had never been bitten, having been born a vampire; but he’d been told the bite hurt, and then it went numb, only to then become pleasurable. If his little human was feeling any pleasure from the bite, they didn’t show it- their whines and cries could have very well been born from sheer fear or from an unknown pleasure.

“Ah, mon lapin, your words tempt me so,” he lifted his mouth, lips stained red with warm blood. Usually, villagers around him were malnourished or sickly- but this particular human’s blood was rich, comparable to the best he’d had. Rook never had qualms on turning a human; the value of human life, the importance of mortality, the essence of being human, those were things he cared little for; but he didn’t want to stop drinking this blood. And yet, the thought of them laying dead in the ground didn’t please him either; there was no proper way to preserve a corpse, not without the aid of magic he didn’t currently have in hand- and despite the nights being cold, the days were becoming increasingly hot; if he killed them, their beauty would fade so fast... “Say, lapin... Do you truly wish to live?”

Teary eyes stared right into green eyes with slit pupils. He could see himself in the reflection of their eyes- pale skin, red coating his mouth and chin, piercing green eyes almost glowing in the dark, his blond hair framing his face. They were shaking, only held up by his hands that pinned them to the wall- at his question they sobbed and nodded, begging, please spare them, their family needs them, please-

Before they could mention their betrothed and sour his mood again, Rook quickly bit down on his own tongue. His fangs drew blood easily- it tasted coppery and rather gross, but he wasn’t that unused to the taste of his own blood. Vampire blood was not tasty, at least not to other vampires, and it didn’t serve to quench their thirst; he almost lamented covering up the taste of the divine blood he’d just ingested with his own lackluster blood, but there was at least an use for his immortal blood.

When he lowered his head again to go at the wounds he’d created, the human writhed under him, probably assuming he’d changed his mind and decided to kill them. Rook hummed pleasantly as the taste of their blood coated his wounded tongue- and at the same time his own blood coated their injuries. He licked at the two puncture holes, making sure his wound kept on bleeding into them; he had to make sure it got into their bloodstream, after all. He knew it’d worked when the skin around his mouth grew hot, and a piercing scream fell from the human’s lips. Vil had told him once that being turned into a vampire was the most painful thing he’d ever felt- the burning, the cold, the feeling of their body dying and yet continuing to live; it almost pained him when he reluctantly lifted his mouth from their neck and watched their painstriken face as they shook and screamed in sheer pain at the feeling of their body turning.

“Shh, shh, it’s ok, it’s ok...” he said, letting go off their wrists and caressing their hair. Perhaps out of fear or pain, or maybe deep in a delusion brought on by the excruciating pain, they hugged him weakly. Oh, he could get used to this; perhaps it truly was time he got a companion for himself. Sure, it was lamentable he hadn’t even caught their name as a living human; but there’d be plenty of time for them to get acquainted with him.

After all, this wasn’t just his way to preserve their beauty- he had selfish purposes for his actions. For once, perhaps, he’d keep them by his side; if he’d gifted them immortal life, it’d only be fair they spent said time with him, right?

#yandere twst #yandere twisted wonderland #rook hunt #yandere tw #death ment #blood tw

[cherry-valentine]

Summer 2021 Anime Season

What I’m Watching:

Shinigami Bocchan to Kuro Maid is one of the cutest, sweetest series I’ve seen in a while. The plot sounds rather dark, following a young duke who has been cursed by a witch so that anything he touches, from plants to animals to people, will die. Touching through clothes has the same effect. This naturally isolates him, to the point that his own family have shunned him and he’s forced to live in a separate home out in the woods, with only two servants who are kind (or crazy) enough to stay with him despite the danger. One is an elderly butler who takes on a fatherly role, and the other is the beautiful, busty maid named Alice. And this is where a show that could have gone really dark brightens up to an adorable romantic comedy. Alice is not the least bit afraid of the duke’s curse, and her teasing, cheerful disposition practically forces him to open up. Speaking of Alice, I really enjoy the way her character is handled. Just as the show could have gone dark, it also could have gone sexist and gross. Alice is very busty, as I mentioned, and the show does have some fanservice, but the WAY this fanservice is done makes all the difference. Alice is a flirty character who always seems to be an enthusiastic participant in whatever fanservice we see, rather than being an object to be leered at. She’s very much in control of her body and her sexuality, which I appreciated. Also, there’s a lot of restraint on display here. There are so many ways they could have ruined this by going too far, but they didn’t. The fanservice is restricted to some cleavage shots and Alice occasionally flipping up her own dress to display her stockings. It comes across more as “sexy fun times” than “male gaze oggling a woman”. Because Alice is an interesting and well-written character in her own right. On the surface, she’s unflappable, facing a dire situation with limitless patience and optimism. But we get a few small, brief glimpses of the emotional toll it all takes on her, which is refreshing. The duke himself is a fun character, forever flustered by Alice’s antics but clearly not wanting her to stop. There are some amusing side characters as well. The animation has been criticized quite a bit, as it’s CG. It’s not the best looking CG animation I’ve seen, but it’s far from the worst. For a simple, cute show like this, it’s fine. Recommended if you like romantic comedies with a somewhat dark setup.

Vanitas no Carte is based on a manga by the woman who did Pandora Hearts, so you have some basic idea of what you’re getting into: extravagant period costumes, gothic European scenery, dark and violent themes mixed with goofy humor, and a very complicated web of character relationships. This series features a vampire society that’s being plagued by “curses” which turn the vampires into mindless beasts that can only be saved by mercy killing them. That is, until a human named Vanitas shows up with the power to cure the “curse bearers” using a legendary book that most vampires doubted the existence of. He teams up with Noe, a kind and naive yet physically very strong vampire who has been tasked with finding said book and determining whether its power is real. The result is a bizarre buddy comedy with touches of gruesome violence and gorgeous art. Of the two protagonists, Noe is my favorite. He’s sweet and good-natured, naive but not stupid. He has a disturbing back story (as most of the characters do) but he can still look at the world with excitement and wonder. He also has a hilarious and adorable cat named Murr. Vanitas, on the other hand, is an insufferable asshole. And I don’t mean in the fun way. I mean he literally makes the show hard to watch when he’s onscreen. I normally like the smug bastard types in anime, but Vanitas really pushes the limits of my tolerance. In an early episode he forces a very deep, very long kiss on a woman he has rendered immobile and unable to defend herself, groping her all the while. I found the scene very troubling, and was even more troubled when I read the comments on the episode, almost all of which calling the kiss “sexy” or “hot” or, worst of all, “romantic”. It’s extremely obvious that the woman did not want or enjoy the kiss, but aw, she was all blushy and embarrassed afterward, so it was a cute scene, right? Ugh, no, gross. The woman, named Jeanne, was established as a very powerful, badass vampire. Yet she’s quickly reduced to a red-faced, crying mess by this absolute garbage character sexually assaulting her in front of several other characters. The whole scene was so bothersome I almost dropped the series entirely, because Vanitas never faces any consequences for this act. He just grins smugly after it’s over. However, I kept watching because, aside from Vanitas, the show is amazing. The art and animation are breathtaking. The plot is highly interesting. The characters, Vanitas excluded, are compelling. And then we have Noe, who is pretty much the opposite of Vanitas. Honestly, if Vanitas was the only protagonist, I would have dropped it, but he’s one of two. So... recommended, but with caution. Your mileage may vary on how much Vanitas you can stomach.

Heion Sedai no Idaten-tachi is.,. not something I expected to enjoy. It has a visual style that reminds me of Kill la Kill, a show I absolutely loathed. The overall vibe of the show is a little off-putting for me, but somehow I got myself hooked on it. The basic set up is that, hundreds of years ago, giant monstrous demons roamed the earth. All the gods of the earth got together, defeated the demons, and sealed them away, leaving one young god named Rin behind to watch over the seal and train newly born gods to fight, should the seal ever be broken. Flash forward to the present day, where Rin has only been able to train a very small number of gods because most of them can’t handle Rin’s absolutely brutal training (it mostly consists of her murdering them over and over and letting them regenerate, as they’re essentially immortal). Unfortunately, some demons have come back, and they’ve taken the appearance of humans. This revelation motivates some of the younger gods to resume their training with Rin. And that’s about all I can say for the plot without getting into some bizarre subplots. There’s a lot I don’t like about the show. I’m not crazy about its cartoony look given the subject matter. I don’t like that there’s basically a whole subplot that revolves around human women being repeatedly raped (side note: rape is never graphically shown, though it is made extremely clear what is happening and we see the lead up to it, also this is a rather small subplot that gets little attention after the first episode). And I absolutely hate that a character involved in this subplot, who encourages it, is presented as a character we should actually like. But! There are some things I really enjoy about it as well. I think the setup is really cool. The gods, and their role in the world of the story, are super interesting. They’re practically indifferent to humans, not even taking the slightest bit of interest when one country invades another and slaughters innocent civilians, because to them, it’s like a human intervening when one animal fights and kills another in the woods. So long as humans aren’t completely wiped out, they don’t get involved. Which is a neat concept. I also like the battles, which are frenetic and a blast to watch. And I totally love Rin, who is just a straight up badass in every single way. She’s one of those ridiculously overpowered characters we sometimes get in anime, most of which are usually male. Rin is so absurdly powerful that other absurdly powerful characters are terrified of her to the point that the mere mention of her name triggers panic attacks. Watching her fight is pure joy. Also the music is great, with an absolute banger of an opening theme. Recommended if you like wild, imaginative action anime and aren’t triggered by rape.

Carry Over Shows From Previous Seasons:

To Your Eternity Boku no Hero Academia Shaman King

Best of Season:

Best New Show: Shinigami Bocchan to Kuro Maid

Best Opening Theme: Heion Sedai no Idaten-tachi

Best Ending Theme: Vanitas no Carte

Best New Male Character: Noe (Vanitas no Carte)

Best New Female Character: Alice (Shinigami Bocchan to Kuro Maid)

#Anime #Anime Reviews #Anime Recommendations #Summer 2021 Anime #Seasonal Anime #Text #tw: rape #Shinigami Bocchan to Kuro Maid #The Duke of Death and his Maid #Heion Sedai no Idaten-tachi #Not tagging Vanitas because I talked shit about the character lol #This is the smallest number of shows I've followed in a long time #Maybe I'm getting more picky

[revive-the-fandom]

normally I start these things with like a statement on why I’m talking about the given subject, but... I don’t have a reason?  I just like this ship and want to talk through why it’s interesting to me.  So... enjoy a long post about Jarida.  

Jack & Merida are normally seen as opposites in conflict with one another.  I reckon this is because of their themes of ice & fire and their on-screen arguments, outbursts and general opinionated & defensive characters.  This is a trope that I am absolutely besotted with and I can no longer imagine them beginning their relationship (platonically or romantically) with anything other than arguing and sniping comments.  This is a personal opinion, mind you.  There are many ways that they could start out amicably.

What I find interesting is that they are opposites without being opposites.  In other words, at first glance they appear to be polar opposites:

But they are actually remarkably similar:

(I’m sure there are other points to add, and several readings of the characters that might alter these but for now these are the examples I managed to string together.)

I use both plot points and personality traits as examples because often times people bond over similar experiences and attitudes.  

In terms of RotBTD they do also have similarities with both Rapunzel and Hiccup.  Specifically, their inability to meet the standards set for them, their inability to fit in, and their desperation for their respective dreams to come true.

However, I feel that Jack and Merida would get along better, not only because of their similar experiences and atitutdes, but also because of the circumstances that carried their movies forward.  Hiccup actively changed his fate by shooting down Toothless and deviating from tradition.  Rapunzel took advantage of a bad situation (a home invader & an abusive parent) and used it to further her own interests.  Jack & Merida were thrown into roles they never wanted.  Merida as the tool for diplomacy & peace and Jack as the unwilling Immortal Spirit & Guardian.

Merida eventually changed her opinions on her mother & learned to take responsibility for her Kingdom and her actions.  Jack eventually changed his opinion on being a Guardians & learned to take responsibility for his actions and children’s belief.  Both began their movies indifferent to their ‘kingdoms’ and believed themselves to be justified in each and every action they took.  Both ended their movies with an increased sense of responsibility.

I understand the appeal of two characters who are very different to each other being an item.  Their differences and how they compromise are what make their relationship interesting.  But to me, Merida and Jack’s similarities are what draw me in.  They could understand each other and bond easily because of that.  If they were to ever hang out by themselves I can see them enjoying the same activites and coming closer because of that.  I also think that their similarities would cause arguments sometimes.  They are both very defensive characters and I think that could cause some huge problems.

There are some differences between them too ones that could cause some serious arguments between them, one that comes to mind is Merida’s tendency to outright say what’s bothering her vs. Jack’s reluctance to bring his issues into the open.  Their lifestyles too.  Jack grew up as a nobody in the middle of a wild and unexplored USA (for the colonists anyway).  Merida is a Princess of a new kingdom, living in the middle of a land that had been inhabited by her people for centuries already.  Jack was alone for years whereas Merida is unlikely to have been without human contact for less than a day.  Seeing them work to find compromises for these that make their relationship work well would be very interesting indeed.

I think I’m losing the plot a little so I’ll leave it there for now.  

Jarida is a very intruiging ship that has simply felt like it had more depth and possibility to it than others within the fandom.  This is just a quick exploration into why I like the ship and isn’t an attack on other ships so please don’t take it that way.

#rotg #brave #jack frost #merida #jarida #rotbtd

[pleaseshutupaboutsatou]

Before and After Ajin Volume 1

Part Three

[Part One] [Part Two]

This was supposed to be the last part but I had a lot to say on this one particular subject.

Ajin: Human or Demi-Human

Spoilers ahead and I will refer to Tsuina Miura as TM.

Before V2 - Ajin: Human or Demi-Human

Okay, so it’s always kind of perplexed me that Ajin are so objectified. They look like any other person but in the world of Ajin, they’re referred to as ‘another species’, a ‘life-form’, and sometimes even ‘it’. When someone finds out they’re Ajin, it’s not readily apparent and can easily be hidden. Probably the most conspicuous aspect of an Ajin is their IBM if anything -- especially if they can’t control it. 

Anyway, the way I’ve really looked at it, I’ve always kinda assumed that the objectification of Ajin was a purposeful and systemic way of othering people with immortal abilities so that they can be more easily taken advantage of. 

I forget that this thought is just pure speculation and not actually explicitly said in canon. (TBH, I would really like to know the origins of why people see Ajin as non-human.)

This aspect is just part of the unique takes Ajin has on immortality. Immortals can age. To be an Ajin is not seen as a cool or fun but something terrifying and unknown. You don’t want to be an Ajin. In fact, in the first chapter of the manga, when the teacher suggests the possibility that someone in the class might be one, it immediately makes everyone uneasy.

In TM’s part of the manga, there’s a strong emphasis on the idea of Ajin not being seen as human. It’s repeated a lot in Kei’s dialogue with Kai and in the pilot chapter with Shinya. In fact, the opening line in the pilot chapter is ‘Those life forms do not die... They are know as demi-humans’.

The language in the Wikipedia article about Ajin that Shinya reads uses dry language when discussing the relationship between Ajin and human experimentation. It seems like there’s no hint of controversy! 

If you’ve read Tenkuu Shinpan, this cynical worldview will probably be very familiar. Miura’s writing has this sort of color.

Anyway, in volume one, the humanity of Ajin is constantly questioned and touched upon in the dialogue.

What a bizarre question for Izumi to ask, of all people... Izumi could be playing detective a detective role here, but knowing that she’s an Ajin, this almost comes across as self-loathing. Perhaps Izumi might have gone down that path if Miura stayed on?

This bit of dialogue from Tanaka, shortly after the former scene, feels more consistent with the story thus far. Satou made being a demi-human a point of pride for Tanaka and for Izumi to pretend to be one definitely made her less in his eyes. Actually, he was pretty cruel to everyone in that room in this scene, but if you take into consideration Izumi’s anti-Ajin-like dialogue and her explicitly saying she’s from the Demi-Human Control Commission (the ones responsible for his imprisonment), I can see where it comes from.

Anyway, much of the compelling dialogue on an Ajin’s humanity is between Kei and Kai. On the run after being outed as an Ajin, Kei is constantly questioning his own humanity.

And, as long as Kai is around Kei, he constantly reassures Kei that he is indeed human and even if he isn’t, he can be human if he wants to be.

Now that I think about it, perhaps the idea of demi-humans not being human comes from the human fear of death and the loss of its universal certainty. Death is scary, unpredictable, unavoidable and not really something a lot of people like to dwell on. However, despite those feelings, it’s ubiquitous and maybe some comfort comes from that - that it will happen to everyone. Not to Ajin though (as far as the public knows, they don’t really know about aging or natural-death Ajin). In fact Ajin can tiptoe between death and life. Perhaps that comes across as grotesque and maybe that’s a reason why they’re feared? A scene that exemplifies this is Kei’s first suicide - or reset, as it’s later called. 

Kai’s expression is of sadness, worry, and terror because he just witnessed Kei, someone he’s trying to protect, harm himself. He obviously knows that Kei will likely be fine but you can’t really logic away the visceral reaction to seeing such a thing. Meanwhile Kei, is excited, almost ecstatic, because he sees he’s able to walk on his own two legs again and not be such a burden to Kai. His relationship to death has totally changed. Does the lack of ability to die correlate with a loss of humanity?

Perhaps, TM wanted that to be constant question in their story. Are Ajin really human? Or maybe TM wanted Ajin to actually not really be human and for us to mistakenly think they are? TBH though, it doesn’t really seem like TM’s fast-paced action writing style... but maybe those kinds of questions piqued Sakurai’s interest.

After V2 - Ajin: Human or Demi-Human

I think Sakurai is interested in exploring the theme of humanity and human experience in general through these immortal characters. 

As the story progresses, he seems to go with the notion that Ajin are just people who can’t die. I think this is emphasized with Tanaka’s increasing mundaneness. His very first appearance is incredibly striking. He looks diabolical.

And he doesn’t seem that way to just the audience but to Kei as well, who sees Tanaka with a mean face and a knife in their first encounter and is instantly scared. In Kei’s dreams, Tanaka becomes a symbol of aggressive masculinity.

It’s all a front though, and through Tanaka’s flashback a handful of chapters later, it becomes clear that, like Kei, he’s an ordinary person put through extraordinary circumstances.

Satou, however, comes across as a force of nature and inhuman. Physical obliteration and philosophical ideas of death do not phase him at all. His flesh body is a tool that he takes apart and puts back together with casual indifference. In the end, though, he is a human being, though, damn, does he make it difficult for other people, ourselves included, to believe that.

Last, but not least, Sakurai spends a great deal of care on Kei’s transition from teen to young adult throughout the story with all the self-doubt, risk-taking and awkwardness that comes with it. What kind of person will he become? What does he really want? 

He puts on a front as a disinterested, self-serving person whose no-nonsense, but, actually he does care and maybe he likes a little of nonsense (but not too much). As for the person he might become, it’s interesting that Kei has two older, contrasting figures in his life who serve as influences: Hirasawa and Satou. Hirasawa says he’s fine the way he is and that it’s okay to run away; he kind of indulges Kei and tells him what he wants to hear - maybe he sees himself in Kei and tells him what he wish he could have heard.  Meanwhile, Satou wants to challenge Kei, though, for entirely selfish reasons and maybe, he too, saw some of himself in Kei. Though, lmao, he got bored with that towards the end.

A big part of Kei’s journey is self-acceptance. Self-acceptance as a person coming-of-age and as a person whose an Ajin. To a person like Kou, he probably seems like he has a concrete idea of who he is, but that’s not the case at all.

Kei starts out as an incredibly reluctant hero. In fact, he only came into the role out of necessity as Satou grew to be a bigger and bigger problem that could no longer be ignored. In the period between the attack on Grant Pharmaceuticals and the attack on Forge Security, his lack of enthusiasm is very explicit; he even dreams of being whisked away. Nevertheless, he begrudgingly concocts a plan for defending Forge Security. 

It’s in the aftermath of Forge Security that he starts to change and aggressively pursue Satou. However, this change of heart will be repeatedly tested as Satou continues to evade him.

Sakurai has also had some things to say about the question of a demi-human’s humanity on a grander scale, particularly, through a character like Ogura. When you first meet him, he’s very blunt and sarcastic and seems to have little value in his own life. To Ogura, life has lost its meaning. It’s heavily implied that this is in large part due to the death of his 8-year-old son.

The only thing that he really talks about with any kind of enthusiasm are Ajin and his FK cigarettes. 

His fascination with Ajin could be, in part, a way to cope with his grief. Ajin defy death and the human spirit seems to play a large role in how they function. IBMs are invisible but can be seen if a strong emotion is present. Floods of IBMs are triggered by death along with an accompanying strong emotion. He states outright that life is meaningless, but his obsession with Ajin seems to come from a part of himself that doesn’t want to believe that.

Whether or not what Ogura says is true or not, it’s undoubtedly true that Ajin are inextricably linked with their own humanity. This is where Sakurai arrives at with the question of a demi-human’s humanity.

This ended up being wayyyy longer then intended but thoughts kept coming and coming. Hope I didn’t go off on too much of a tangent here. I will make another part with Kai, Tanaka and talk briefly about gore before and after volume 2. 

I think Miura is really good with coming up with concepts, but I think, personally, I’m glad that Sakurai was able to take those ideas and make them into what we have today.

#ajin #death talk #mentions of suicide #analysis #sorry this is so long........... #i may bump this later actually