#and the whole time she was having a seemingly unrelated crush on a girl from another school but keeping her distance for everyone's sake

[moghedien]

when I tell you I would commit federal crimes for Michiru's backstory from her pov....

#girl got psychic powers and super powers and the ability to transform into a cosmic super soldier with absolutely no help from a talking cat #and then got visions of the apocalypse coming to get everyone and the universe was like 'you fix this' #and the whole time she was having a seemingly unrelated crush on a girl from another school but keeping her distance for everyone's sake #then she finds out that her gay crush is actually someone she's destined to be with #but for that to happen she also has to go and uproot Haruka's entire life and make her give up everything she's ever dreamed of #but also if she DOESN'T do that the world is gonna end #and so she starts projecting into Haruka's dreams because she has to do SOMETHING #and she tries to meet with Haruka and confront her because 1) she does genuinely want to be with Haruka #but also 2) the world will literally end if they don't stop it #but even as Haruka is like about to gain the ability to transform and awaken she STILL stops her #because even wanting to be with Haruka and knowing that they need to be together #isn't enough to make her ok with ruining Haruka's life #I GO FERAL OVER THIS #sailor neptune #sailor uranus #michiru kaioh #haruka tenou #long post #sailor moon

[waffle-bubbles]

So I went to a Rocky Horror screening tonight with a shadow cast. I have a theater assignment where I’m supposed to watch one live performance, but my town doesn’t have a single theater company and this was the only thing close to that I could access with a lack of a driver’s license. I expect to fail.

Anyway. Here are my notes on the show and on the brief voyage back to my dorm:

- For the viewing experience, I did not enjoy it. It was crowded and noisy. Not sensory friendly. I got a headache from the clashing smells of alcohol and food which weirdly smelled like crayons. I liked the lighting. It was similar’s to my dorms, which I keep low.

- My social anxiety was really high, which makes it less enjoyable. Especially since it was interactive. I’d prefer watching it in the safety of my room with a few close friends.

- Where I was positioned, I couldn’t see well. People crowded the screen; some were standing in front of me while I was sitting. Everyone was at the same level as the screen.

- Virgin cherry pop (setting up promiscuous themes)

- Time warp dancing

- Couldn’t hear a thing. At one point they turned on the captions (to which there was a cheer), but I couldn’t read among the heads blocking the view. I wore my earbuds the whole time to block some of the noise out. I brought up the script to read along.

- Would have been more fun if I had friends. But you know. I’m a loser.

- Time warp was fun. So was Sweet Transvestite. (At least I can hear the songs. That’s the most important part.)

- The performers have an air of drag to them. Obviously.

- Crush on Brad and Tim Curry. What’s new.

- Sitting between middle aged women, teenage girls, and an obnoxious straight couple.

- Costumes exact replicas of movie’s costumes. (Couldn’t see actors well at all; just hints of their head.)

- Statue of David?? (I can’t escape it) (I like that his nails are painted.) (What is with all the Greek references?? Atlas, Medusa)

- I look too straight to be here.

- If I was a cis man, I’d 100% dress as Dr. Frank n’ Furter. But alas, dysphoria. I think trans people latch onto him because of how confident he is in his body and how it defuse gender.

- This is about sexualizing men and woman, and I love it. (Especially the men.)

- Brad real actor is played by an older gentleman.

- If I hadn’t watched this before, I would be so confused right now (again, can’t hear shit)

- Get that bussy, Janet (and she’s in the bi colors)

- I always feel bad for Rocky. His whole purpose is to be used.

- Pretending not to notice my classmate

- Apparently I was watching the obnoxious dude’s drinks. At least he gendered me correctly. (“He’s not even twenty-one.”)

- “But he’s a lesbian” (I don’t know what the context of this is, but a dude named Chief said it.)

- Craning my neck to see the other screens when I can’t see (there is a bowling alley here)

- I’m so gay (Brad) (he’s so hot)

- The two actors walked in front of my during orgy to foreshadow Frank n’ Gutter’s overthrow

- Frankenstein motif

- Using flashlights as spotlights

- Actors have just been mimicking what’s on screen (from what I could see)

- Frank n’ Futer’s real actor looks so sad (“I’m going home”)

- How can people spend their weekends like this. I’m tired and it’s not even 9:00 yet.

- Bro I can actually hear Riff Raff (still can’t understand him) (crowd thinned the barest amount)

- I forgot how bad the laser effects were (kind of cartoonish)

- a lot of seemingly unrelated scenes of a plot

- I like to think Brad and Janet become a power poly couple

- Classmate said hi anyway. I said hi back.

- I have way too much anxiety for this shit.

- It’s freezing cold and I can’t see the stars

- I enjoy listening to the soundtrack more than that experience

- Oh there are the stars. Very few.

- Bus driver told me I should have a flashlight. Good idea.

- Fuck this stop. I hate it. I am overwhelmed, and I want to be in my warm bed. (Switched drivers)

- This lesbian bus driver has good taste in music (she was listening to Girl in Red. Only lesbians listen to Girl in Red and Lana Del Ray. Obviously.)

- I think I made this gay couple uncomfortable. They stopped cuddling when I looked at them. Like no dude you’re good. I was just admiring your fashion.

- I can see my breath. This should not be happening. I’m not ready for winter.

#in conclusion: love Rocky horror but hate loud crowded events #yeah I know I’m not fun #also Brad’s hot and I will never shut up about it #rocky horror picture show #also I haven’t seen my roommate in four days #should i be concerned #I also took a really good picture of the bus but it has my location so I’m not posting it

[yourfandomfriend]

Hazard: Chapter Two

Has this been driving anyone nuts for nearly thirty years?

For those unfamiliar with “Hazard,” in the early ‘90s, Richard Marx took a break from straight-forward love songs to spin us a murder mystery -- a beautiful girl ends up at the bottom of a river and everyone thinks it’s this weird guy with a wig-like mullet -- we’ll call him Spooky Richard -- that’s done her in.

Richard decides to start the story when he was a kid, having just moved to Hazard and everyone jumping to the conclusion that he’s a basket case. For some reason.

“Even then, the folks in town said with prejudiced eyes, ‘that’s boy’s not right’.“

There were apparently “rumors and lies” about Richard that only his close friend (lover? crush? hag?) Mary was able to see past, and the video ends with ADR of her saying people told her that she should be scared of him, but she wasn’t.

And the creeping feeling you get up your spine watching the video tells you, perhaps she should’ve been? See, Mary goes missing. They drag the river, find her corpse, and then the local cops are all over Richard because of, well...

The whole case hinges on this sketchy scene where Richard was walking through the fuck-part of the woods and saw Mary in a car, giving it with love to a guy who also had a wig-like mullet. 

Mary’s visibly upset to have Richard see her in flagrante delicto with hairy boy.

And right then, the cops drive up and scare Richard off -- he loses his white scarf in the bushes. Later, when Mary’s pulled out of the river, they find the same scarf tied around her neck. Clue?

Meanwhile, we see the local Sheriff had been taking pictures of Richard and Mary together, watching them, following Mary around, and when her body is found, he immediately assumes Richard killed her. 

The cops ultimately let him go, but while he’s in police custody, the locals burn his mobile home down anyway.

So he throws his mullet away and leaves Hazard for good!

But that’s not all. There’s all these flashbacks in the video with Richard as a child living with his mother. His dad left her for another woman and sometime later, Richard catches her with a... wig-squatch? 

Some guy with a lot of hair. A wig-fire breaks out at that same moment and Richard runs for it. There’s also shots of him crying, surrounded by men, who he seems to run away from.

But there’s also this symbolic transition, between the shot of him as a child running, sad and alone, to the moment he meets Mary as an adult.

With all the Mary scenes cutting between the scenes with Richard’s mother, it looks like Richard not only feels a strong connection between Mary and his mother, but that he might’ve killed them both out of some twisted feeling of betrayal. Is he really violent and unhinged? Did Richard really kill Mary?

No.

Or did he!?

He didn’t.

Okay, but what really happened, then? What was the nature of his relationship with Mary? And what was that creepy Sheriff up to? 

Something, right? Well, we never find out for sure, because Richard Marx can apparently keep a secret like a mother-fucker.

But the last time I checked, people in the YouTube comments section seem confident: Mary and Richard were lovers, the Sheriff was obsessed with Mary and he was jealous, so the Sheriff killed Mary and framed Richard.

But if the sheriff was framing him, then why let him go in the end? Was he just really bad at it? And if Mary loved Richard so much, why was she banging that hair-don’t in the woods. And why wasn’t the Sheriff targeting that guy instead of Richard? And what’s all that got to do with Richard's hot mom banging an improbably unrelated hair-don’t and (seemingly) dying in fire?

Comments section doesn’t care. They know it was the Sheriff, so none of that stuff is important. Hell, some people don’t even think that stuff happened. And since Richard sees dead women standing on the surface tension of the river like water striders, we don’t even know what’s real and what’s just symbolism, right?

Welp, what the comments section largely doesn’t know is that Marx put out two videos, the second chapter having different clips, different clues, and it paints a slightly different picture of both the suspects and the victim.

You can watch it here.

So... that’s a little different, isn’t it? Let’s compare both videos and comb over some clues: 1.)  Who really killed Mary?

You’d think I’d save this conclusion for the, well, conclusion, but it’s really the most obvious thing about the second chapter. Here are the clues:

a.)  Mary’s death was ultimately declared a suicide.

Uhhh. Okay, but-.

b.) According to the unnamed cop present for Richard’s interrogation, there was seemingly no evidence of foul play -- no fingerprints, no trauma, nothing found in the river, only a flimsy case being aggressively made by the Sheriff that wasn’t even enough to hold Richard with.

Right, but what if-.

c.) And there’s a shot of her walking into the river by herself that night.

Ah.

And over the cop’s VO of the word “suicide,” there’s a shot of something that happened sometime before Mary’s death: her sitting by the side of the river on a log, looking shell shocked, wrapped in a blanket or big towel, as Richard seems to be trying to console her. 

But come on, wasn’t Richard’s scarf tied around Mary’s neck when she died? That’s treated as significant, even if it wasn’t the murder weapon. Like, maybe the Sheriff planted it to frame Richard.

d.) There’s also shots in the video of Mary all alone, crying, with the scarf around her neck. She’s the one who had it before she died, so to the omniscient viewer, it doesn’t help us build a case against jack squat.

Dammit, Sheriff! I agree with Unnamed Cop, this is a bullshit clue.

e.) Finally, the video pointedly lays down new VO lines from Mary:

“You know... sometimes, I feel so confused. You’re like the only person that understands me." “I know this sounds weird,... but... I don’t know what I’d do if I lost you as a friend.“

Okay, fine, that sounds like a motive for suicide to me. But...

2.) What is the nature of their relationship?

a.) In chapter one, we see Richard and Mary are very close. They hang out at the river a lot. Mary is frequently pawing at Richard, holding his hand, tugging his clothes, or pulling him close. 

b.) The Sheriff accuses Richard of being jealous that Mary was with another man. Despite all this, Richard insisted to the Sheriff that they weren’t dating.

Now, the assumption by YouTube is that Mary was ashamed because Richard caught her cheating on him. But early in chapter two...

c.) He’s clearly already withholding physically, pulling his hand out of hers -- at no point in either video does he ever infer a romantic intention with Mary or make anything resembling a move on her. 

It’s almost as if she wants him as a boyfriend, and the whole town thinks they’re an item, but Richard only loves Mary as a friend. A kind, sympathetic friend who reminds him of his mother. Someone who understands what he’s been through and doesn’t listen to the gossip that been isolating him all these years. 

And seeing her with that wig guy might’ve brought back memories of the thing that happened with his mother, too. Maybe this is all a case of Richard looking for someone to fill the void his mother left when she died. But maybe that’s reaching. Oh, if only there was some clue in the song!

“No one understood what I felt for Mary.“ -- Richard

Get it? 'Cause how could the Sheriff assume Richard was in love with her if no one understood that he was in love with her? The lyric isn’t, “no one understood what I felt for Mary, except for the Sheriff, but that’s guy’s like crazy-good at reading body language, I guess that’s why he’s in law enforcement.”

Speaking of which...

3.) What was the Sheriff up to?

It’s really easy to assume this nosy, over-bearing small-town sheriff is up to something terrible. It’s a cliché for a reason. And like I said, it’s not Richard’s fault what happened to Mary, so the Sheriff is wrong to go after him, regardless. He assumes with no real evidence that Richard did it, just because he has a bad vibe and seems dangerous.

But how is that different than us assuming the Sheriff did it? There’s no clues that say he did, no concrete reason to suspect him that would hold up to the slightest scrutiny. Just bad vibes. And those could be explained by him being so prejudiced (and a cop). 

And after all, a bunch of locals burned down Richard's trailer while he was in custody, so clearly this isn’t just a case of a jealous man. While it’s not true, the Sheriff had plenty of not-personal reasons to follow Richard around and document his interactions with this girl.

4.) Messing with Sasquatch

Speaking of which, there’s a point I kinda-sorta raised earlier, that I’ve yet to discuss: if Mary loves Richard so much, why is she with this other dude? Well for one, if Richard’s not interested but she’s still wanting a guy in her life, bigfoot will do in a pinch. Kinda like Richard’s mother seeing that guy after her husband left.

But more than that, what we see of Mary’s guy makes him look a bit like Richard. In fact, I briefly wondered if the guy in the photo above was him until I checked it against a matching scene with Richard. They clearly buy their wigs at the same place, so Mary can’t be blamed for taking him for a ride.

5.) The Fire.

This one looks cut and dry. There were precarious candles, the flames we see rose up between he bed and the curtain, not between the curtain and Richard. Accidents happen.

I know, I should probably put more thought into this, but I just can’t seem to. It’s not like the kid was throwing lit matches at the bed.

6.) The Haircut? Really?

This is one I can’t believe is a mystery people were wondering about, but eh. Richard cuts his hair after Mary died. But why? Some article I read once theorized it was to change his appearance, that he was going on the run or laying low, as if he was still a suspect but was allowed, nay, encouraged to skip town at the end of the video.

No. This kind of haircut was an old tradition, a mourning ritual. We see him do it after his mother’s death, too.

Poor guy... he’s not getting back his deposit on that mullet.

I know it’s a weird thing to still be thinking about after all these years, but I can’t help it. Something about an unsolved mystery, it haunts the brain. And not knowing for sure who killed Mary gives me this weird, creeping feeling. Almost like... she’s still somehow in danger. Like something has to be done.

That’s very effective storytelling for the “Right Here Waiting” guy.

#hazard #richard marx #long post #sorry mutuals lol #you knew i was like this before you married me #meta

[jaefluenza]

My Fate Blooms | J.Jaehyun

“We can’t happen..”

Genre: royal!au, angst, fluff

Pairing: fisherman!jaehyun x princess!reader

Word count: 14,4k words (oop- and that’s a long ass ride)

Summary: You never imagine meeting your own prince charming, but somehow, you did. He’s not a royal, nor a conglomerate, but you found yourself falling deeper into him. But of course, nothing works easily for you, the next queen of the northern kingdom.

playlist; Give You My Heart - IU; I Miss You - Soyou; Sweet Night - V; Sunny days, Summer nights - Sam Kim; Like You - So Soobin, SOHEE; Let Us Go - Crush; But It’s Destiny - 10cm, etc.

“How much do I have to tell you, mother? I don’t want to marry that guy!” You throw away your royal necklace, pissed off by the routine of your mom always lecturing about how to be a graceful soon-to-be-married princess.

“He’s not just a guy. Watch your mouth, he’s the rightful future king of the southern nation.” Your mom put her hands on her waist, utterly shocked by how you behaved tonight. “Oh, you told me that as if I’m so clueless about it! As stubborn as it might sounds, mother, I don’t care!”

gasp! “How dare you speak like that to me.” She said coldly. How dare you slap your own daughter like that?

“Now, listen. Want it or not, you’re gonna marry the prince. I am doing this only to save the kingdom, the place where you get to enjoy every royalty and comfort even in your sleep. So, bare with it, princess. Do I have to remind you that every single day?” The queen raised her voice before leaving your room, stomping the floor with anger.

You let yourself fall, leaning your arms on the edge of your queen-sized bed. “This is not what I wanted.” You wipe your tears harshly, trying not to look weak even though no one could see your worse condition right now. “I just don’t want to marry an evil guy who will torture me in his dungeon, what is so wrong about that?”

The next day, you prepare your mental state that you have to wear a fake smile again as usual for the rest of the day. It’s an engagement dinner between two kingdoms, where you’d meet the person you don’t want to marry. You hate formal dinners and meetings like this, it’s boring and it’s just not you. You prefer eating alone in your room with your cats, or maybe enjoying dinner at the maid’s kitchen with Olly, your personal maid, rather than joining dinner with people you don’t even know. They aren’t even interested to know you, as what they care about is only about the kingdom and politics.

You feel one of your cats scratches your leg, making you wince in pain. “Shirley, as much as I want to play with you, I want to leave this goddamn room too. I know you’re bored, please hold on for a few minutes before I-” You turn your head up at a nudge in your left arm. “Are you crazy? Why are you talking to the floor?” Prince Han glares at you as if you’re a madwoman.

You rolled your eyes, “I’m talking to my cat. I’m glad that I’m not the only person here who thinks that this whole thing is boring.”

“So talking about me and the marriage is boring huh? I think you’re too idiot to realize that thousands of princesses of nations would kill to marry me.” Prince Han lifts his head proudly, making you cringe and you were glad he lifts his head high enough that he probably won’t see you making a face.

“Then, maybe you should marry those stupid blind princesses.” You rolled your eyes over and over again before you stand up and excuse yourself in front of all the higher-ups and leave the grand meeting room. Prince Han was not untrue at all. He has the look enough for the girls to melt by his graceful presence, and that was one of the reasons why your mother was so elated to choose him as the marriage candidate. But even though you know the girls would kill to be in your position, you’re sure that they would think twice after knowing what is the prince like in real life.

You got lost in your deep thoughts before someone interrupted you by taking hold of your arm. “Wait, princess.” You sigh when you heard the familiar voice, wondering why would he follow you out of the room. “What?” You turned at him, hands on your waist, and waiting for him to say what’s on his mind.

“I know that you despise this marriage, and as much as you do, I do too. But if this thing works we’ll get so many benefits. Just bear with it and be a good princess for once.” He looks down on your eyes, threatening them intensely as if there are fire coming from his eyes. “The benefit is for you, not me. Why would I trap myself in a relationship that I don’t wish to be in?”

He gets back to his former position, standing highly like a crown prince should be. “Oh, Y/n. I really hate to say this, but you don’t want me to take over, right? Once I take over the whole situation, you’re doomed. For now, I’ll stay put. So don’t get on my nerves, or I won’t take it well.” You stutter upon hearing the threat he sent you. This is what you hate about him, and the whole arranged marriage thingy. He’s a crude and abusive person. He knows how to put pressure on someone, especially you. You blinked in fear before he takes your silence as a yes and walks away.

“Just bear with it? Now he sounds like my mom as well.” You rant.

You put on your bathrobe, preparing for a warm bath after a rough day. “Finally, my lone time.” You dip your leg on the tub, feeling the warmth slowly surfacing your leg before sitting your whole body with a sigh in relief. “So warm.” Raised in the northern kingdom, you’re used to the coldness of the nation. Snow falls every two months and spring comes only when it wants to. You wear warm fluffy coats almost every day, as if the coldness of the people around you was never enough. You wonder if there’s a place meant for you to live in. You wonder if there is somebody out there who actually care for you, as a human and not a princess.

“This is crazy, this is pure madness.” You claimed to yourself as you start thinking of something crazy. An escape? A runaway? Sounds like life. Your marriage is coming in two weeks, you definitely have enough time to leave the cold palace and free yourself to smell the flowers, the life outside the dungeon you called home. And as if your thoughts weren’t crazy enough, now you start to think of the way to start the important mission to save yourself. 

If there is not any charming prince who can save you, then you can save yourself, you thought.

“Ella, not now. I need to do some spying activities tonight. I can’t rub your neck at the moment.” You whine when your cat keeps following you around while letting out some meowing sounds which echoed around the hallway walls.

Ella walked away as if she understood your rejection to play with her. You shake your head as you witness her walking sassily with a seemingly visible scoff. “Dude, even my cats are breaking the rules. I’m a proud cat mom.”

You continue to spy around the palace, looking for some information that may help you leave the palace and all the terrifying things in it. You were walking around the hallway towards the palace kitchen when you heard the cooks and some assistants gossiping. You use the echoes of the grand wall of the hallway to catch what they are talking about.

“I heard the queen will be attending a party held in the southern nation. Of course, the princess will be forced to attend too. I pity her, most of her life spent on this kingdom, with no freedom or chance to find her own happiness. She never eats well like she’s supposed to in her age, because of her royalty image diet.”

You couldn’t hold your tears not to come when you heard how much the palace workers care for you. You pity yourself too, after all, the painful truth is instead of your mother, the only people unrelated to you were the only people who care.

So, the queen will bring you to the southern kingdom? That will be good timing! All you need to do is just pulling a good act in front of your mother so she might believe that you’ll come along with her, just in a different little carriage. And you officially do the plan.

“Mother, what kind of party would they hold there? I think I’m getting excited.”

Your mother gives you a look. “Why are you excited?” You tried to avoid looking so awkward like you have something to do which is actually true. “Oh! Are you finally getting closer to him?”

You sighed in relief mentally, before nodding excitedly at your mother. “Yeah! I hang out with Prince Han the last time he visited us. He is actually a funny person.” Duh.

“Okay, that’s a good thing! Thank god you finally make me happy!” Haven’t I?

“Well, they will be holding a garden party since it’s summer in the southern nation. I’ll prepare a beautiful summer dress for you, oh, I’ll have to make sure that my daughter, the fiancé of the prince, will be the most beautiful girl at the party!” Okay, this is great.

The party night comes, and the crazy idea of escaping your royal prison has been a big burden on both of your shoulders. You put an exciting act in front of your mothers and also other people. You can’t even feel your face after all the bold makeup they put on your face. The big luxurious dress tightly hugging your body makes you hard to breathe, you wonder if it will be able for you to run in this kind of dress. After all the servants leave your room, you go to speak to your cats.

“Sergei, my royal king. Please take care of the others while I’m gone. And you, Shirley, my royal queen. You should not wander off the palace because you will get hurt. Wait, I’m the one who’s gonna do that. Alright, whatever. Oh, and my baby princess, Ella. You’re the cutest baby of all the demons we got here. You can’t just come to people and ask for belly rubs cause... I’m the only one who can do that to you. If I’m able to come back, I’ll give you thousands of belly rubs and treats!”

All of the royal cats give you their unamused look as if they know that you won’t be able to escape this prison. “You guys think so too? Thought that I couldn’t make it out of here? At least, let me try.”

Your mother knocked on your door before entering the room. You quickly fix your gown and your hair, as if you are ready to leave for the party. “Hey, mother.” She smiled sweetly upon seeing your graceful appearance. “The prince will absolutely love you. Let him brag about his wonderful fiancé to the world tonight.”

“Well, there’s this thing that I would like to request for tonight, mother...” You started. “What is it? Tell me, honey.”

“Since I will be the most beautiful woman in that party, I want Prince Han to pick my hand himself as soon as I step out of the carriage. Which means, that I have to be in a different carriage from you. Can I ride in the diamond one, tonight?” You asked her nicely. Please say yes...

“That’s a great idea. Yeah, you should ride in a different carriage from me. Maybe you won’t be able to get back at the same time as me, right? You got to have a blast tonight! Sure, I’ll tell them to prepare the diamond carriage. My sweet daughter, I’m so proud of you!” She holds your chin gently, praising you for your wonderful idea. Little did she knows...

So you ended up in the diamond carriage alone, waiting anxiously for the right time to kick your horseman away. You glance over the window, looking at how far you’ve let the northern kingdom. Will you be ready for this? Will you be ready for whatever happens if you leave the palace, and the royal engagement? Are you ready for a new chapter in your life? Will you be happy? You don’t know, but something inside your heart says that it’ll worth for every single psychological torture you received in the palace. You take a deep sigh before opening the front door to the footman sitting behind the horses.

“Where are we now?” You whisper to the footman. “We’re about to reach the south side. In fifteen minutes, we’ll be able to spot the southern sea.” Great, we’re getting further from the kingdom.

“I’m so sorry, but... goodbye.” The footman gives you a disoriented look before losing his balance following your hard kick on his ass. He screamed loudly as he fell into the ground, rolling asides before losing his consciousness.

“That was a great ass-kick.” You praised yourself before taking over the handle ungainly. You stare at the horses in front of you with tactless eyes, realizing something. “I may have learned how to ride a horse, but now... I have four horses to handle?! Oh shit!” You notice the horses start to move like they’re mad. There was when you realized something, you don’t have any control over those carriage horses, and now they have no signal or tasks to do, and now they’re mad. The carriage starts to wobble, there’s no indication that it’s slowing down, even though the road in front of you is getting rocky and uneven.

You feel the wheels start to wobble out of place and when one of the wheels hit a quite big rock, the carriage was broken off from the horses. You watched the horses run away in agony before the huge carriage toppled over into a hole and you lost your consciousness.

You woke up with a lightheaded feeling as the warm sun rays stream right into your face. You glance around the room, this was definitely not your room. Not at the small windows across your bed, and not at how there’s a warm sunshine filling up the room. This is not the northern kingdom. So where are you?

The door opened before you know it, which makes you flinch at whoever coming into the room. “Oh, you’re awake?” Said a grown-up man with a tray of redolent food which you assumed is a bowl of eggplant and ginger chicken soup. You were left speechless, not because you don’t want to speak, but you don’t know what to ask first. There’s a lot of questions you have in your head, but you were blown away by the fine visual of this man.

“Uh... are you okay?” He asked with an awkward smile as he went closer to the bed you slept on. You blink as you stare right into his sharp eyes, and his pointy nose and his plump lips. Screw those girls who screamed about how much of an art Prince Han is like, they must have yet to see this man in their whole life before.

You watch him in awe as he puts the tray on the nightstand beside you. “Have some breakfast, you must’ve felt terrible last night.” He smiled, and oh, that smile would’ve killed thousands of women.

“Thank you very much. May I ask... where am I right now? And, what happened last night?”

He nods, and immediately sits down on the edge of the bed. “Let me introduce myself, I am Jung Jaehyun. I am a fisherman and so does my family. Last night, I was walking back home from the harbor when I saw a broken carriage in a pit of water near the northern kingdom gate. I saw a person on the edge of the hollow and that was you, so I brought you home and my family took care of you.”

You watched him as he spoke, focusing on his visual instead of listening. You were glad that someone this fine would save you last night. Sometimes, life is full of surprises. “Oh, I see. Thank you for saving my life. So, am I in the southern kingdom?”

He shakes his head, “No. Me and my family live in between the southern and northern kingdoms. Well, it’s safe to say that you’re in the middle of an unknown village. The people here live independently without a king. We keep our lives by being a fisherman or farmer and selling our yields at the market in the middle of the village.” He smiles as he explains where you are right now.

“Ah, I see. I never knew that there’s a little village between the northern and southern kingdom. Oh, I forgot to introduce myself. I’m Y/n, the prince- uhm I mean, daughter of Madame Yoon from the northern kingdom.”

You raise your hand for a handshake and he immediately shakes your hand. “Nice to meet you, Y/n of the northern.” It seems like he doesn’t know anything about the northern’s ruler, which is your mother. It’s great, he doesn’t have to know that you’re a princess of the kingdom. He probably won’t be your friend if you tell him that.

“The food smells nice. I’ll dig them in now..” you smiled before grabbing the tray and taste the food. He nodded before leaving the room, saying that he needs to prepare the toils for his work.

You quickly dig the food in, shrieking in awe as if you’re tasting the best food cooked by a world-class chef in all kingdoms. “Oh my god, who the hell cook this best quality food..” You finished the bowl within ten minutes, before rubbing your belly with satisfaction. “Ah, right. I have to wash the dishes, I can’t be a troublesome in this house.”

You grab the tray and the dirty bowls as you keep them steady on your hands. You were about to open the door when something catches your attention. “Oh, wow.”

You’ve never seen yourself in a simple dress like this. The outfit you wear right now is like the ones that your maids in the palace would wear. But you never knew that it feels really comfortable rather than the overwhelming dresses in your closet. Also, you feel so fresh that you finally feel some heat surrounding your body, for you’ve always been wrapped in coats since the northern kingdom is either snowy or stormy. “This is all new.”

What you saw first when you stepped out of the door was a little stairs. You use them slowly, balancing yourself as you kept the tray steady on your hands, when suddenly a voice greets you merrily. “Good morning, lady.”

You glance at the person and it turns out to be an older with a stick in his hands. You bow yourself like you used to greet older people in the palace. “Good morning, sir.” He laughed upon seeing you bow, gathering another reaction from everyone in the small house. You look around you, there’s a grandma in the living room, possibly the grandpa’s wife, and there’s a middle-aged woman in the kitchen who’s seemingly the mother of Jung Jaehyun, and finally, a little boy, who seems so excited upon seeing you.

“Ooh! She’s awake! Hi! I’m Yuno! Are you feeling better?” He waved after running in your direction, greeting you excitedly. You greet him enthusiastically, feeling warm that finally someone is actually excited to see you. “Hi! Yeah, I’m more than better! Thank you for asking,” you smiled. “Let me take care of the dish,” Yuno gives you his cute eye smile, which makes you pinch his cheek, thanking him in advance.

“Hello. Welcome to our family house. Though, our house is not as comfortable as the ones you live in.” The middle-aged woman approached you gently, smiling with visible wrinkles around her face. You shake your head in panic, “No! This is more than enough, madam. Thank you very much for saving me, I owe your family so much. Please tell me if there’s something I can help today..”

That afternoon, the family gathered around in the strait dining room. You sit next to Yuno, playing rock-paper-scissor. You laugh at how serious he was, tongue sticking out as he concentrates to guess what you’d pull out. After Jaehyun helps his mother, he goes to sit next to you, watching how you play well with his brother. “Hey, you two, do you want to go to the market this evening?”

Yuno looks at his brother, “Really? Sure! We have to bring Y/n to the market, I heard that they are selling some summer candies! You have to try it, Y/n.” Jaehyun looks at you, waiting for your reaction.

“Ooh! Candy? Yeah, let’s go!” You replied enthusiastically. Jaehyun tries hard not smile, even though your reaction makes him blush so hard.

As much as excitement fulfilled your whole body, you also worry about how people might recognize you at the market. Both kingdoms must be in great chaos now that you’re disappeared. Should you disguise yourself? But they will be suspicious of you. Well, since Jaehyun told you that this village is in the middle of an unknown area, you probably shouldn’t worry about your identity. You only pray that they don’t have any idea about the southern nor the northern kingdom.

“Hey, Y/n. Are you ready to go?” Jaehyun tilts his head upon seeing you daydreaming. You flinch when you see him right before you. “Yeah, I am. Let’s go..”

You watch the two boys messing around with each other as the three of you walked through the small patches with tall trees around. You smile in amusement, for there are no such things in the palace. Everything is fake, manipulative, and political. You can’t believe you finally found a simple life outside the palace, and now you feel happy because you left that place.

“Hey, we’re leaving Y/n behind... Y/n, let’s walk together!” Yuno goes behind to walk alongside with you. You smile and nod. Jaehyun also goes behind to your side and walks along with you. “So, that night when I saved you from the pit, I noticed that the carriage has diamonds in it. It was actually beautiful. Perhaps, are you coming from a wealthy family?”

You glance nervously at Jaehyun, confused on how to reply. “I..uh.. I was going to attend a party at the southern kingdom, before the accident. So, my mother gave me a beautiful carriage to go as a gift.”

He nods, and as soon as you see him about to open his mouth, you point at the shining market. “Oh, we’re here!” Yuno grabs your hand, practically dragging you to run with him into the market.

“Let’s try all the candies!”

That night goes perfectly for the three of you, after you discovered the little festival they held at the market. You spent the night playing happily with Yuno and Jaehyun. And now, it’s time to go back home. Yuno falls asleep on his brother’s back while all of you walked back home. He must be so tired after playing with you all day.

“Aren’t you tired?” Jaehyun asked you who’s walking excitedly beside him. “Not really, tonight was spent really well. I really enjoyed hanging out with Yuno. He’s a bright kid.”He smiled before he keeps his glances at you. “Y/n.. for a lost person in here, you look like you’re not planning to find your way back home.”

You look elsewhere, surprised by how he gives you such a strong point. “Well, I.. I want to go back home,” No, I don’t. “But not now.” Maybe forever. “I might’ve been here for only a day, even so, I enjoy being here. I’d like to stay longer, I promise in two days, I will get myself a place to stay.” Jaehyun narrows his eyes, “Why would you get yourself a home? Just stay in our place, if you’re comfortable with it.”

Your eyes lit up in delight, “Really? If that so,” You nodded. “I’ll stay and become your family member. But, won’t I be a burden or something? I mean, I eat quite well, hehe.” He chuckles upon your frank remarks. “Well, who said you can live in our place for free? There’s a fee for that.” You widen your eyes, already panicking inside for you don’t have anything with me except your wrecked party gown and the accessories.

“Assist me in the ocean and help my mother with farming. That’s what you have to do.”

You sighed in relief, “Oh, thank god it wasn’t money. I thought I’d have to remove all the diamonds on the carriage to pay my rent fees.” He laughed upon seeing your face, which makes you feel like butterflies are flying around in your belly.

The next day, you found yourself trailing behind Jaehyun as he prepares the toils. You feel unfamiliar with all the equipment around him, and you don’t know what to do to help. “Uh, Jaehyun.” You called him timidly. “Yeah?”

“Is it gonna be rough when we sail? Well, I’ve never been in a fishing boat before...” You told him timidly, folding your hands anxiously in front of him. He stands up from his spot, his hands on his waist. Is he judging me?

“Don’t be scared, I’ll protect you... I’ll make sure that you’re safe.” Oh, the smile that gets you every time. At the moment, you feel like it’s a deep promise coming out from him, as if he will always protect you from all the chaos you’re surrounded in. Jaehyun pats you gently, before signaling you to come with him and you only trail behind him, smiling like a stupid girl.

You stare at the man, his arm muscles appeared strong and prominent from bringing the fishing equipment in both of his hands. You spot the most easy thing to bring in his left hand, the fishing bucket with a few tools in it. You grab the bucket from his hand, smiling coyly. “Let me take care of this one. I want to help with whatever you need.”

He smiled sweetly, “Thank you. You know what, this is my first time having someone other than my father on the boat.” You give him a disoriented look, “Oh, is that so? Well, have you bring Yuno before?”

“Nuh-uh.. he’s a scaredy-cat.” Jaehyun shakes his head quickly and you just laugh.

Fifteen minutes later, you found yourself shaking in fear as he turned on the boat engine. He takes both of you to the fishing spot between the limitless ocean and the shore. “There we are.. let’s make sure that we catch a lot of fish today!” He shakes in excitement.

You asked him to teach him and as soon as you spread out the fishing rod, the hook starts to shake. “Ooh, ooh!”

“Pull that in! Roll it, roll it.” You tried to do it, but you were too scared to pull it properly. “I.. can’t!” That was when Jaehyun thought he could help, but...

gasp! He got the fish, which is a good thing, but the position of both of you right now.. is not quite right. His hands are around you as he was hugging you from behind, previously because he was in a hurry to catch your first fish, and he had no time to check what to do with the position. His body was so close to you that you could smell his manly smell.

Jaehyun moves his body away from you, blushing madly while showing his innocent dimples. “I’m sorry...” No words are coming out from you, as you still processing what just happened, until he speaks up again, “Here’s your first fish..” You happily look at the first fish you have ever in your whole lifebefore you frown in disappointment. “Awe, I killed it.”

He laughed at your expression. “Cute... it’s okay, can you hold it?” You glance at the poor fish, trying to hold it until it jumps in front of you, while you gasp in shock. He once again laughed upon seeing you shake in fear. “It’s only a fish, it won’t hurt you.”

You tried once again to be brave in front of him, reaching out your hand to grab the breathless fish, when it stayed and you finally grab it with your own hands. “Hey! I did it!” You happily put the fish into the bucket and gives him an ear-to-ear smile. “Good job, you got your first fish.” Jaehyun only watched you being happy with catching a regular fish for the first time, but what he’s feeling is extraordinary. It’s like there are a lot of things going on in his stomach, and he’s just praying that you won’t hear the loud beating sounds coming from his chest. He doesn’t even understand why his heart is beating so fast like this.

Night comes, and you found yourself sitting at the front porch of the small house, gazing at the stars. Even though you love being here, you can’t help but worry about what you should do onwards. You sigh, not knowing what to do, and feeling unsure of life. You’re scared that he and his family will find out about who you are, and you’re gonna lose all the happiness you feel throughout this little new journey. You feel like, everything will get back to where your life used to be, and that everything will be temporary.

“What are you doing?” Someone taps your shoulder, making you flinch at the sudden contact. “Oh, hey. Nothing, just stargazing.” Jaehyun sits behind you, looking at your face instead of the pretty view of the sky. “What are you worrying about?” He asked once again. You turn your head from the sky to him. “Do you really want to know?”

“Yeah, you know.. you’ve become a part of this home. We, especially Yuno, love your presence here. You make him very happy, you know. So, I- uhm I mean we, want to help you keep your smile too,” He explained. “Honestly, do you know who I am?” You asked. He tilted his head, thinking hard, before he answers, “Uh, Y/n, the daughter of Madam Yoon, from the northern?”

You laugh wholeheartedly. “Yeah, that is right, though. But the truth was more than that. Are you sure you want to know?”

Jaehyun realizes that this matter has become serious and he decided to appreciate whatever you might want to tell him.

“Even though I am so embarrassed to say this, I still think that you have to know the truth. I..” you paused with hesitation. You were so scared that he might turn against you after knowing that you’re someone he was not wishing to be. “Hey... it’s okay. Whoever you are, and whatever happened about you, I will give my support.” He smiled as he put his hand on top of yours, somehow soothing your worries away.

“I.. actually, am a princess. I am the true heir of the northern kingdom, the daughter of Queen Yoon, Y/n.” You confessed with a glassy eyes, staring right at his eyes, looking for a certain reaction. He says nothing, but his eyes widen in shock. And you knew what he’s going to do, which makes you prevent him from doing so. “Don’t bow! Do not.. bow to me... I don’t like that!” He blink in nervousness, but then sit back to his earlier position. “But, you’re a royal family member.”

“No, as long as I’m here, I’m not a royal family member. I’m your friend, your family. See, as soon as I told you about it, it gets awkward between us..” You sigh in advance, not knowing what to do with the situation. Jaehyun kept his mouth shut, before using the opportunity to get to know you more. You immediately tell him everything, about your engagement with the southern prince, and your political mother, and your life as the only princess in the southern kingdom. You also told him about how the carriage accident wasn’t an accident.

Jaehyun sighs, “What should I do? N-no, now that you’re here, what are you gonna do? Are you gonna hide here forever? I am pretty sure that they must have been searching for you everywhere. It can be dangerous for you,” He said with worries in his eyes.

You feel so grateful that even though you’re the only one being a burden in his own house, he still is worried about your safety. So, this is how it feels when someone actually cares about you, without any personal needs in between. “Jaehyun, I don’t think you should worry about me now. The only thing matters right now is your family. The fact that I’m here, is dangerous for all your family members. They are not playing when they come to seek what they want,” you explained.

Once again, he gives you his soothing smile, showing you his deep gummy dimples. “It’s alright, Y/n. I just want you to know that you’re not alone, and you’re more than worthy to be cared of, I’m here for you.”

The next very morning, you help madam Jung in the field to grind the rice under the shiny and warm sun rays. “The view here is so beautiful. I love staying here.” You uttered. Madam Jung smiled at you, admiring your beautiful figure even though it has been an hour and you still look like you’re fresh out of the shower.

“I’m glad if you’re happy being here. I’ve never had a daughter, and you make me feel like I have one. Thank you so much for coming into our household, Y/n.” If heart eyes are real, you’d say you saw them in her eyes. That makes you feel appreciated and accepted. All this time one of the things you have been looking for in life is validation. And started by how Yuno greeted you that day, you found out what validation feels like. “No, the one who should say thank you is me. Thank you so much for accepting me in your house, and because of your son, I can make it out alive. I owe your family so much. One day, I will pay it off to all of you.”

The tall trees line up around you, and at the edge of the cliff, you can spot the limitless blue ocean. There was one time when you went to the ocean, and the very next thing happened was you were drowned in the sea, slowly getting dragged by the alluring waves. That is why you always feel so nervous every time Jaehyun takes you to the sea, but with him, you can sense the protection and calmness he gives you. You know that you’ll be alright when you’re near him.

So, now that he walks beside you to the shore, you no longer feel nervous or jittery like you used to feel. You walk happily beside him, swinging the fishing bucket playfully as the wind gently blows your hair. “The weather is so nice today! It’s the best day to go to the ocean.” You fling out your hand, feeling the warm summer breeze. “So, are you not afraid anymore? Last week when we sailed, you were shaking so bad I thought you wanted to pee or something.” He teased.

You let out a mischievous smile, as you look at him from behind. You were about to tickle him when suddenly a bunch of girls surrendered him with flowers in their hands. “Good morning, Jaehyun! Perhaps, did you have breakfast? I brought you breadsticks and milk!” The most charming girl in the group greeted Jaehyun with a tone that makes you cringe. “I brought you flowers! It’s Bougainvillea... do you like it?”

As the girls surrounded Jaehyun and bombarded him with lunchboxes and flowers, you feel yourself get kicked out of the crowd. You quickly pout, looking at him giving his smiles to the girls, so you decide to walk ahead of him to the shore. “Hey, Y/n! Wait for me,” he shouted at your direction before jogging into your side, and the girls following him after.

“Jaehyun, who’s this? Perhaps, your cousin?” One of the girls asked. Jaehyun looks at you awkwardly, not knowing how to answer. “She’s... she’s my..”

You cut his words, “Girlfriend. Yeah, I am his girlfriend.” You give them a mischievous smirk, as they gasp in shock. “No way, there’s no way he has a girlfriend!” You look at Jaehyun, whose eyes are wide awake at your remark. “I-i.. uh... yeah, she is.” Your smile only gets wider when you thought that you won in front of the girls.

After the girls disappeared, both of you continued the walk to the shore, and here you both now, in front of the boat. “Uh, actually, I.. I said that I’m your.. girlfriend, to make them get away from you. Is that okay?” You asked him because the rest of the walk was filled with awkward silence and you hate awkward situations. “Yeah, uhm, it’s okay. Thank you for saving me, I guess...” He gives you a little smile.

As you both head to the fishing spot, you try to think of something to start a conversation. “I didn’t know you are that famous in this village.” Jaehyun looks at you, shaking his head in advance. “No.. I’m not.” Before silence takes over the small boat.

You sighed, “Why did you become so quiet? Are you upset about what I did earlier?” You asked frankly. He looks at you with an unpredictable expression, which makes you feel so anxious. He also sighed, before shifting himself closer to you. “Honestly, I was so shocked, when you said those words... I..I might’ve imagined if what you said was real.”

This time, it’s your turn to widen your eyes in shock. “What do you mean?” You asked with a tiny voice. “I might’ve hoped that it was real, too. But.. you are too far for me to reach. You actually are.. someone who I can’t just go and walk with, you are too far above me, Y/n.”

You look at him with disbelief, “What makes you think so? I am also a human, Jaehyun. The thing is, if we share something in common, we can be something more than this. What you imagined can be real, because I’ve been feeling the same too.”

“Really?” He asked, before you nodded and pull him into a delicate kiss. His hand slid behind you, holding you closer to his body. He loves the way you feel so sweet in his lips. The innocent kiss continues under the blazing sun, as the both of you close your eyes and forget everything at the moment.

That day becomes the happiest day in your whole life as you walk hand-in-hand with him, smiling as you both start to count the days as lovers.

It has been a month since you live with the Jungs and you’ve become pretty close with few people in the small village. Jaehyun introduced you to the villagers, and they loved you, except the girls who were in love with the most charming man in the village. He taught you a lot of life lessons, which made you want to stay near him longer.

You knew that both kingdoms of Southern and Northern are holding a big search for you around the domain, as not too long ago, Jaehyun and Yuno found a newspaper with you on the cover. That was how the family found out who you actually are, and to your surprise, they support you and want to protect you. They helped you put a disguise on yourself and let the villagers know you as a different person.

Sometimes, the southern guards and armies come to the village to check, but it’s quite hard for them to inspect the whole village because the villagers loathe them, since they became an independent village.

“We have to get in and check the whole area, you can’t forbid us when you don’t have any authority around here.” The chief withstand the higher-up when they stand against the village gate, resisting the armies to enter. “Have you forget? This area is not under the authority of the Southern, so why should we open the gate for your people? We had an agreement.”

You watched bitterly behind a big oak tree, curiously trying to find out what has been going in your kingdom. When you were about to leave the scene, you heard a familiar voice from the crowd. “Good afternoon, gentlemen.” You gasp, Prince Han?

You quickly run towards the Jung’s house, hurriedly looking for Jaehyun who turns out fishing in the ocean at the moment. You ignored Yuno’s concerned holler before locking yourself in your room. You feel your tears fall like a waterfall as your body shakes in fear. The trauma of him pulling your hand harshly, frequent shouting at your face, and threats over the kingdom are taking over your mental state.

Madam Jung knocks on your door, concerned by your weird act, presumably told by her youngest son. “Y/n, is everything alright? I’m here to help you, sweety.” When you heard her soothing voice, you moved to open the door. Madam Jung was startled when she saw you crying like a mess, but she remained calm as she makes the both of you sit on the edge of the bed. “What’s wrong? Will you tell me?”

“He’s here... he’s here.” You repeat the same words as they are the only thing in your head right now. Madam Jung doesn’t fully understand what you’re saying but she only hugs you to calm you down. A few moments later, Jaehyun rushes into the room, panting loudly like he just ran in the marathon. “Yuno told me something bad happened, what’s wrong?” He looks at his mother, and then you who’s crying loudly. Madam Jung shakes her head, having no clue about what happened that makes you shake in fear.

Jaehyun goes to take over you to his body, hugging you closer as you lean your whole weight on him, still trembling in fear. “Hey, it’s alright... I’m here for you, we’re here for you.” Jaehyun helps you breathe properly and you gain your calmness right away. You let out a big sigh, before looking up and trying to speak.

“Prince Han... he’s here. I saw him trying to convince the villagers to agree to the inspection. What if he found me, Jae? I’m scared.” He sighed, knowing that this kind of thing will happen as he knows that Prince Han is the most capable person in the country. “It’s alright, we’ll find a way. Do you believe in me?” You nod right away, for you believe that when you’re near him, everything will be alright.

Meanwhile, in front of the gate, the prince spotted you running away from the crowd. He actually saw you hiding behind the tall oak tree. It’s not Prince Han if he doesn’t have a pair of eagle eyes. He calculated every path you left while trying to convince the higher-ups to allow him to inspect the area.. “I’m not here with my men to wreck this beautiful independent village. I’m here to bring you fortunes. Would you like to have something in exchange? Come on, I know that this beautiful village will be happier if you get a little bit of power to your economy. Isn’t that right?”

After an exchange of advantages, the higher-ups let the armies enter the village. Prince Han and his horse immediately go towards the route you took that leads to the forest.

After discussing an alternative plan, Jaehyun decided to hide you in his boat, and sail you to a deserted island that he frequently visited during the fishing season. But Yuno informed him that the armies are getting near, so he decided to put you in the small basement of his house, which used to be a small boat workshop. He told Yuno to hide with you. So there you are, with Yuno under the darkness. You knew Yuno is not a quite brave kid, so you hugged him tightly, making sure that he feels safe.

After a while, Prince Han found the house in the middle of the woods. The first thing he saw was an elderly woman sitting on the front porch. He greeted the woman as he climbed down his horse. “What a good day, ma’am.”

Grandma Jung knows what to do, this is not something she unexpected. She greeted the prince warmly, like she used to receive a guest. “Hello, young man. What can I help you?”

“We’re having an inspection around this area, and allow me to introduce myself. I am Prince Han from the southern. I’m looking for a young woman who probably has come here, seeking for help. For she was poorly lost by an accident that happened around here a month ago. That woman is my lovely fiancé. May I perhaps, look around your house?”

Grandma Jung tries to act like she has no idea about it, “Oh, what a poor young man. We never had a guest nor someone seeking for help these past few months, but you can go inside.” Prince Han entered the house as soon as he got the permission. He checked through the house, but he found nothing. There were no traces of you that he could find, until he entered the last room upstairs. The room was filled with nothing but a shabby interior that he was about to close back the door until he spotted something shiny in the drawer.

He furrowed his eyebrows while approaching the old cupboard. He opened it and smiled in satisfaction. He found your tiara. He quickly excused himself out of the house before calling all of his men to leave the village, promising the higher-ups of the villagers to make his promise as soon as possible.

A week later, there is no army of the southern looking for you anymore, and your days become calmer than before. But being a protective lover ever, Jaehyun never brings you out of the house ever again, and madam Jung never brings you along with her to the field either. You spent your time playing with Yuno and doing housework.

Today, you were cleaning the front porch when Jaehyun prepared himself to go to the shore. “Be careful, alright?” You smiled as you put your hands around his waist, feeling his warmth against your body. “Yeah, I’ll take care of myself well. And you too, shall stay in the house and don’t go anywhere. Wait for me to come home, alright?”

You nod, “Alright, my prince.” He rubbed your nose against yours, before cupping your cheeks gently, and gives your forehead a peck. After he left the house, You get inside to play with Yuno as usual. You love your routine now for you used to live a dull life as in learning how to walk like a royal princess, and taking political lessons almost every day. But now, all you got to is doing fun activities, as in playing cards with Yuno, cleaning the house, and having a good deep talk with the grandparents.

You were about to take a nap upstairs when Yuno excused himself to go outside to play with his friends until you heard Yuno’s yells at the front door. You vaguely hear him scream, “No! Don’t enter the house, you bad guy! Ouch!” You immediately went to the noise until you freeze in your spot. The guy you feared the most is in front of you. “How’s life outside the palace? Fun? In this miserable place? Are you happy?”

You stutter upon seeing the mess in front of you. You look at Yuno on the floor as he cries in pain, possibly pushed down by the monster in front of you. “You don’t know what kind of mess you put into both of the kingdom, princess.” You ignored the threatening sounds coming out from his mouth. You think of what possibly happens if you keep insisting on being here. The possibility of this family getting hurt because of you, oh, you don’t want that.

You look at the prince’s eyes, begging him to give you mercy, but it looks like he won’t give you what you want. “T..take me with you.”

Yuno stops his crying, “No. Y/n! You shouldn’t go!” You look at Yuno with a sad smile, “No, Yuno. This is my time to go. Please tell your brother my goodbye. I’ll visit if I have time.” No, there will be no time. This is my end.

You surrender yourself to the prince’s hand as he takes you on his carriage. You glance at Yuno and the house for the last time. Maybe happiness and freedom was not meant for you. But the short moment you had there was a gift for you, and you couldn’t forget that forever. Your moments with Jaehyun, all the sweet kisses, and love you received from his warm family, there’s no way you could forget them.

Prince Han takes you straight away to the palace of the northern. The cold breezes blow against you as soon as you stepped out of the carriage, reminding you of how cold and dull your life used to be. You quiver in the cold, as the only thing you wear right now is only the summer dress madam Jung made for you. Prince Han noticed your trembling figure and decided to put a little stunt in front of the people who surrounded the place to see your arrival back to the kingdom.

He puts his coat around you, putting a fake smile as the people cheer for you both. Little did they know, the words he spat on you while he’s on his little sweet act, “Behave, little princess. Or I’ll show you what happened to bad girls since I’m the one who takes over the whole situation now.”

You tried to fake a smile in front of the people as they cheer loudly for you. You only watch bitterly as the spokesman announced your arrival loudly for everyone to hear. “The lost princess is brought safely by her fiancé, the prince of the southern!”

You were brought to the queen’s room, still trembling from the cold and also fear. You stare ahead as the guards open the door for you and you step into the room, timidly presenting yourself. “Mother...” you quietly uttered.

The queen turned herself quietly, while you expect a harsh slap on your cheeks. You close your eyes tightly, head hanging low to the ground, waiting for words spat in your face. But instead, you were wrapped in a big hug. You feel your mother’s tears on your shoulder as she starts to sob on your shoulder. You open your eyes slowly, trying to absorb the surprising moment.

“My daughter, my child.. oh my sweet daughter. I’m so sorry for what happened to you. You’re the only family I have in this huge palace. Don’t ever get lost again... please.” You start crying as soon as you listen to her wailing. “Mother.. I’m back..”

“Thank you for coming back alive, my dear...” The queen mumbled. You nod, feeling relieved that finally, your mother accepted you for who you are. “I’m sorry, mother. I’m sorry...” You cried harder in her arms like a little baby. You feel your mother shakes her head lightly, slowly turning your head to face her directly.

“No, don’t say sorry. While you’re gone, I have reflected on what I’ve been doing to my own daughter, and I was really terrible.” She paused before crying again, “From now on, Let it be your own happiness that happens, dear. Let’s pursue it together, that’s the most important part. I will love you with my whole life as a mother.”

“I will not lose you again, my dear.” Your mother finished the heartwarming reunion with a tight hug, and that day, you finally eternally full.

Meanwhile, outside the door, Prince Han was listening to the whole conversation and he felt like something bad will happen. He was not going to let that happen.

The first week of coming back as the royal princess was great, you start doing what you like to do. The queen lets you learn things that she used to strictly forbid you to do. However, even though you’re doing what makes you happy, you still feel somehow empty. Yeah, you’ve been missing him. Jung Jaehyun, and also the little warm family. You never separated officially from him, so you wonder how he’s been doing and if he misses you too.

It has been bothering you so much that you start to space out during breakfast and dinner. The queen clear her throat to wake you up, and you flinch from that. “What makes you look so bothered? You’ve been out of place lately.” You pucker your lips in response, sighing loudly. “I really want to tell you this, but please don’t get angry.”

The queen nods in agreement, she smiled widely at how you’re eager to tell her something. “Whatever it is, I’m listening.” You fold your hands on the table, preparing the words to say to your mother. “So, when the carriage toppled over and I lost my consciousness, someone saved me and brought me to his house.” Your mother cuts you off, “His? As in, a man?” You pouted once again, “Yeah, but hear me out first.”

“So, his name is Jung Jaehyun, and he was a little bit older than me. His family welcomed me very well, and I got close to his little brother as well. I helped the family as in fishing in the ocean and grinding the rice in the field. Amazing, right? For the first time, I lost my trauma in the ocean, and I also know how to fish!” You tell her excitedly.

She nods as she gently caresses your head, admiring your experience while you were out of the palace. “You were what? Fishing in the ocean and.. grinding the rice in the field? Terrific!”

“Yeah, mother. But the thing is, after knowing him for almost a month, we shared romantic feelings towards each other...” you uttered.

“You what?” The queen tries to get a hold of herself when she heard your shocking story. “Uh, so... did you date him?” You nod slowly. “Mother, he was the man I’ve been looking for. I love him. And every time he’s near me, I feel like my heart is about to burst. Even talking about him now makes my heart race like crazy.”

The queen adores your happy smile, witnessing how you fall in love reminds her that you’re no longer her baby, but an adult. An adult who can find her own true love. “Do you really love him?”

You blinked after hearing the question. What does this mean? “Yeah, mother. I love him so much. But if marrying the southern prince brings you happiness then I will-” The queen cuts you off. “No, let’s reverse that sentence, shall we? If being with that lovely young man brings you happiness, then I will let you be with him.”

Your jaw drops as if it falls and start touching the ground. You hold the neck of your fur coat tightly, while looking at your mother in disbelief. “Is that true, mother?” To your surprise, you didn’t hear it wrong as the queen nods in admission. “Oh, thank you mother, thank you very much! I love you!” You went to hug her while both of you laugh in happiness.

Two days passed and today is probably the best day for you, for the queen has decided to grant your wish to visit the independent village. You decided to bring the Jungs some gifts. You brought Yuno a cute royal summer outfit and your hand-baked pie. You brought Jaehyun a new and modern fishing kit, even though you went through a hard time looking for them, as the northern kingdom rarely fish in the ocean.

You excitedly step into the carriage, along with the queen. You hold her hand tightly, thanking her for granting your biggest wish. As the horses are running along with the carriage, you feel your heart beating very quickly. Finally, we’ll meet.

The carriage stops in front of the small house. You look around as the tall trees bring you a lot of memories. “Finally...” you mumbled. The horseman opened the door for you and seconds after you stepped out of the carriage excitedly. “It’s kinda hot in here..” The queen mumbled. She takes off her fur coat to adjust well in the semi-tropical weather. “Trust me, mother. The weather is so refreshing! We can feel the sun every day here!”

Yuno goes outside after hearing all the noise. His eyes widen upon seeing your arrival. “Y/n!!!!” He came running to you like he used to do every time you woke up in the morning. “Yuno! Oh, you don’t know how much I miss you!” Yuno hugs you tightly, as if he doesn’t want to lose you again. The queen smiled upon seeing your interaction with the little boy. “Oh, Yuno. Allow me to introduce the graceful woman we have right here, my mother.”

“Oh my god, the queen of the northern!” Both Yuno and his mother scream in delight. You didn’t even notice her standing in front of the door with shocks drawn all over her face. “Oh my god, Yuno. We shall bow to the queen.” Your mother holds madam Jung’s hands to prevent her from bowing, just like what you did to Jaehyun when you told him that you’re a princess. “No, don’t bow to us, for we don’t deserve it. Please take my gratitude for saving and taking care of my daughter while she was out of the palace. Here’s a little gift from us.”

Your mother ordered the horseman to take out every present you brought for the family, as madam Jung starts thanking the queen in advance. While the two are chatting like they already know each other for a long time, you feel yourself blushing hard even though Jaehyun is still not on your sight. You turn to Yuno, “Where is he?”

“Oh, he’s fishing like usual. He might be back in half an hour.”

And half an hour later, You feel his presence even before he reached the front porch. You run towards him, your smile only gets wider when you saw his startled expression. “Jung Jaehyun!” You shouted happily. But as strange as it might look like, but there is no sign that he looks happy to see you. The expression on his face remains flat. But you set aside the negative thoughts, maybe he was just tired, or maybe he just couldn’t believe that you’re here.

You immediately wrapped your arms around him, hugging him tightly that he feels like he can’t breathe. “I miss you...” you mumbled against his chest. You feel his hands wrapping themselves around you as well, before he pulls you out of his body. “Hey, I.. I, uh, didn’t expect you to be here.” You were taken back by the fact that he pushed you off, but the need to tell him everything takes over all of your questions as you smile widely at him.

“So, that was how my mother agreed to us being together. She also agreed to come here to meet you and your family. Oh, you don’t know how happy I am!” You told him excitedly.

He gives you a small smile, nodding lightly. “I see. But, hear me out, Y/n. On the day you disappeared, when I found out that you surrendered yourself to safe my brother, I did a lot of thinking.” There are thousands of expressions in his face which you couldn’t identify, but you decided to listen first. “What did you think of?”

“I think of how you’d live without me, you can be happy without me on your side. I realized that you’re no longer a person I can reach out as I please. Besides, you already have a perfect life in the palace, your mother finally loves you for who you are, and accepted you no matter what kind of person you are. I can’t protect you, Y/n. That gives me more reason for why I can’t get near you.”

As he explained, your tears fall along with your quivering lips. “Jae, I thought we talked about this. I said we can happen.” You shake your head vigorously, feeling broken that he wasn’t that excited after seeing you. “Please don’t tell me that kind of words, Jae. That is not right, cause I love you! I know that you-”

“No, Y/n. Don’t let me repeat myself. We can’t be together. I’m so sorry, Y/n, but maybe we just weren’t meant to be.”

Jaehyun gets up from the seat, ready to leave you. You get up as well, “You said we’ll find a way, and you told me to believe in you.” You cried hard for him to hear you. He turns his head to you, “That won’t work anymore.” He said coldly before leaving you alone.

That day, you went back home sobbing in the arms of your mother. Telling your mother that the love of your life no longer needs you, hurts the hell out of you. But even though the chapter of Jung Jaehyun just ended in the way that you don’t like it, the memories remain fresh in your mind. He remains beautiful in your heart.

Meanwhile, after leaving you alone to go further into the woods, Jaehyun gives himself time to break down. Holding out his emotions absorbed a lot of his energy, especially when he saw you crying. He really held himself for not hugging you right away, and tell you he was only lying. But he couldn’t do that. He’s more than nothing to even be allowed to touch you. His heart craves for you, but reality makes a great wall between himself and you, and there’s nothing he can do about it.

A month after visiting the independent village, your life has never been the same. Every day, minute, and second reminds you of him. But now, you have your own fight. A fight against the southern’s crown prince. You recently called off the engagement and he was so angry. The whole parliament of the kingdom agreed that a future queen doesn’t have to marry another kingdom’s heir. So, it’s safe to say the southern prince had a big grudge against you.

Today, another big news come to your ears like you were hit by a baseball bat. “What?” You stand up from your seat. “Did I hear it wrong, mother? You hired what?”

Your mother cringe in nervousness, “I think it might be a good decision to bring him close to you. Besides, he’s the one who agreed. I only asked once, and he answered yes right away. And it’s a good thing too because he’s the right person to be your personal guard.”

“Mother, he literally said that we can’t be together, why would he want to be near me. This is weird.” You put your finger on your chin, thinking hard even though you can’t help but get excited. “I probably should prepare for his arrival, don’t you think?” You leave the dining room running excitedly as your mother laughs at your silliness.

The reason why he accepted the offer to be your personal guard was because of the help of the queen when his mother fell sick. He can’t go to the ocean anymore, the cost to bring his mother to the healer was more than what he’d achieve in a year. The second reason was because he wants to be near you. Keeping you safe may not be a regular job for him, it was like his dream. So, to accept the offer was an easy thing for him.

After telling Yuno what to do to take care of their little family, he goes to the northern kingdom with a hidden excitement. Nevertheless, he knows that he should hide his lingering feelings towards you. He should keep being aware of the difference between himself and you, and that the reality wall will never disappear even though he’s being close to you.

Arrived at the palace, he stared at how huge and majestic the palace is. He was welcomed by the head of the palace security guards and immediately escorted to know what to do with his important job. “Your job is to keep the princess’ safety 24/7. You have to stay near her even at night, and follow her everywhere to keep her safe. The queen didn’t officially tell us the details, but maybe you can get the detail from the princess or the queen. That’s all.”

So he ended up in the queen’s office, standing nervously as the queen smiled at him. “Well, your job is to keep my daughter safe of all time. That’s easy. But what I want for you to do was actually to be her companion. Is that even easier?”

Jaehyun promised with all his life that he would keep you safe and also, be a good companion for you. It’s an easy job for him cause he would eventually do it without getting paid. 

“Jung Jaehyun...” His name was the first thing out of your mouth the moment he came to see you in the quiet garden. Jaehyun gives you a smile you couldn’t identify, because the last time you saw him, he looked like he doesn’t want to catch a look on you. And now, he’s waving to you beautifully, and as he walks closer in your direction, everything feels like a dream.

“You’re really here,” you muttered as he now stands in front of you. You tried so hard not to wrap your arms around his built body, scared that if you do that, he’ll run away again from you.

“Yeah, I’m really here, princess. I’m here to guard you, protecting you from whatever that could possibly hurt you.” He keeps smiling at you, which makes your lips curved up into a smile as well. Jaehyun leans onto you until he reach the side of your ear. “Even roaches and insects, I’ll protect you from them, princess.” He whispered before laughing softly.

He looks at your glassy eyes, a frown starts to grow on his face. “Y/n, I’m sorry about what I said to you. Would you... forgive me?”

You ignored his apology, but instead, “You said we can’t work. You said you can’t get near me. I think you owe me an explanation.”

Jaehyun’s eyelids stutter as he tried to look away from you. “I don’t think I can tell you, Y/n.”

“You do know that I’m quite the person ruling both kingdoms. While you here, is nothing but a powerless piece of trash. So, clean all your dreams to be with the princess. You might’ve saved her life, but nothing do you have to be with her, to even get near her. Don’t ever dream about it. As you already know, I can crush anybody who restrain my will, even her.”

You frown, “Another rejection, I see.”

He takes your hand in his, “Forgive me, your highness.”

You look at him with doe eyes, trying hard not to smile while you feel his delicate touch on the back of your palm. “How can I stay mad at you? I eventually prepared something for your arrival.”

Jaehyun squeezes your hands as a smile grows on his face, “Thank goodness. Now, may I embrace you, your highness?” You smile widely as you voluntarily wrap your arms tightly around his waist, face pressed against his chest as he wraps his arms around you as well, giggling softly. “I’ve been missing you, princess.”

“I don’t care about whatever you said to me that day, Jae. All is well now that you’re in my arms. Don’t ever leave me again, my guardian.”

“I’ll keep you safe, princess.”

“Then all is well, indeed.”

You woke up with a smile on your face. Stretching your body to erase all the stiffness of your body, for you slept in the same position. “Good morning, Shirley, Sergei, and my love, Ella.” You went forward to your cats, and they gladly accepted your presence in the peaceful morning.

“You know what, babies, my prince charming is here. Oh, no, not that boring and abusive prince. My true prince, Jung Jaehyun, in case you all want to remember his name.”

After changing into your usual warm fluffy coat, you immediately walk to your door. As soon as you stepped out of your room, you were greeted by a luscious smile. “Good morning, your highness.”  You smile upon seeing him, and then you were instantly reminded of what you want to do while he’s here. “Come in, before anyone sees,” you muttered before pulling him into your room and close your door.

“Uh, your highness, I don’t think I can enter this room as I please.”

“It’s alright, you always have my permission. So, I need you to wear this.” You hand him the beautiful coat you’ve prepared for him. “You’ll have to wear more coats from now on. Oh, my poor baby, you’re gonna miss the beautiful weather back in your hometown.” You cup his cheek with one hand, brushing your hand gently on it.

“Thank you, although you’ll always be my warmth.” He paused as he pulls you closer to his body and embrace you in a warm hug, making the fancy fireplace in your room lose it’s point to Jaehyun’s own warmth. “Did you sleep well?”

You nod softly as your head leans comfortably on his shoulder.

The first week with Jaehyun being at the palace brings you all the happiness you never knew you needed. The queen herself was very well aware of this. She regrets nothing by recruiting the most important person for her daughter to be her own guard. It’s all for you, as the queen said. 

You attended every royal lesson with Jaehyun, and he keeps company with you in your other classes too. And with him always by your side, means that attending political meetings with your mother is also fun. Like when you both sneaked out of the party, hands tangled to each other, running towards a little private balcony you discovered earlier. 

“The meeting was so utterly boring,” you muttered. Jaehyun only smiles, “Well, I couldn’t agree more, Y/n. At this point, I might as well say that I’m quite glad that I’m not a royal.” 

“I know right,” you replied as you rest your head in your hand boringly.

“Well, you’re gonna bear with it more when you become a queen.” 

You give him a look, before agreeing in advance. “Well, you’re not wrong. But you’ll bear it along with me though, future king.”

“Future king?” He stuttered. You nod as you hum, “Will be you be my king?”

Jaehyun lets out a small laugh, “Really? Though it should be me asking you that, I would. I would, my princess.” He took your delicate hand and brought it up exactly under his chin, before pressing a tender kiss on it.

You flash a smile upon his acceptance, before step ahead to embrace him lovingly. “Please stay with me, jae.”

Well, as if a month of happiness couldn’t be enough for you, the prince of the south returns to the palace, equipped with his dreary winter coat, and a few of his men trailing behind him. You stopped him in the hallway, with Jaehyun staying right behind to you to prevent unwanted things to happen before you speak up, “Why are you here? I thought our business was done.” 

Prince Han scoffs as he gives Jaehyun an unacquainted look. “Don’t worry, princess. This is not something that goes between you and me. This matter goes between the kingdoms.”

You could sense anything bad from his return, and it’s not gonna be about you. “Having a new companion, I see..” He muttered and you blink in nervousness. It turns out that your fear of the abusive prince still exists as sweats start coming out around the surface of your palms.

Prince Han left with his men straight to the conference room, where the queen already expected him. Jaehyun immediately goes next to you, “Princess, are you alright?” He brings your vision to him only, making sure that you’re aware that you’re safe. Your eyes quiver at the thought of something bad happening to either you or Jaehyun. “He’s back...” you mumbled.

Jaehyun tries to soothe you back while giving supports through his eyes. He closes the distance between you both to make your breathing steady again. “Hey, listen to me. Everything will be alright. Do you believe in me?” He asked slowly.

You listen to his voice, eyes glued to his, before you breathe normally again. “Yeah, Jaehyun, I believe in you.” He hugs you tightly without crushing your delicate figure. “Everything will be alright,” he whispered gently.

After the conference ended, you went straight to your mother, who had a blue expression on her face. You sit next to her, gulping your saliva anxiously. “Mother, may I know what acquires a conference between you and the southern kingdom?” You asked carefully. The queen gives you a look, and then a sudden dread smile. “Mother?”

“I have both great and bad news for you, my daughter,” she uttered.

“Tell me the great one first.” you replied.

“Our kingdom has been struggling with armies and territories. Now that we ended our marriage agreement, we lost a lot of things as benefits to the kingdom. But the southern king has just informed me, that they needed our help as well. The agreement will no longer be a marriage, but additions of men and machines.” 

“That’s good, mother. That means no one’s getting hurt, right? By no one, I mean-”

The queen cuts you right away with a frown. “And here comes the bad news, my dear.” You flashed her a look before proceeding to listen.

“I told the crown prince that we’re fine by adding some of our best men and also recruiting as many people as possible from our country. But then, I realized, one of our best men is..”

“Jaehyun, is it? No, mother. I won’t allow it to happen. He just got trained within a month, how is he supposed to go into the war?” You argued. “I know, dear, I’m very well aware that he was only recruited to keep you safe. But, we’re in a crisis, honey, and you know his capability. Becoming the number one between those senior guards only in a month, isn’t that amazing? You should consider letting him go, my dear.” The queen paused. “I asked nothing from you, my daughter, but only to put your trust in him.”

You shook your head in denial, before a familiar voice bursts into the room. “The queen’s right, your highness.” Jaehyun bowed at the queen before turning himself to you. “But, Jaehyun..”

“She’s right, all you need to do is to trust me. You said you believe in me, didn’t you? He gives you a glazed look and you waver at the thought of letting him go into the war with the southern prince. You immediately head to his side, “I trust you, but.. you should never get hurt, jae. I don’t want to lose you.” you muttered against his chest.

He pats your back gently, while feeling a little bit embarrassed to hug the princess in front of her royal family. “Remember what I said, sweetheart, everything will be alright.”

As Jaehyun won the argument that day, you eventually prepare for his departure. You provide him with food, self-care, even some comfortable clothes. You still pack some of the things he would need, when Jaehyun plays with your cats. “At this rate of care, you will see that my fellow troops will get jealous at me.” He scoffed. “Quiet down, young man. As I said, it’s either you’d leave this place with these, or you stay safe here with me, my future king.”

“Yes, ma’am.” 

You smiled after making sure he has the things packed well before you let him depart with the men. You walk towards the end of the bed, and Jaehyun immediately goes next to you as you sit with a particular pose. “You’re going to leave me for months, don’t you think you should leave something important in me?” you uttered.

Jaehyun tilts his head, puzzled at your suggestion. “What should I leave in you?”

“Marks. Claim me as yours tonight, my future king. Tell me that this will not be our first and last, jae.” You leans closer to him, and a coy smile draws upon his face. “As you wish, my princess.”

At dawn, you awakened with the touch of him putting the blanket on your bare figure. You blinked in drowsiness, before coming into a realization that he has to leave in a moment. You quickly rise from your bed and grab your night rope. “Jae,” you called his name with a raspy voice before wrapping your arms around him tightly. “Ouch, I..I can’t breathe, princess.” He cackled as he hugs you back delicately. 

“Please return safely. We’re all waiting for you here. I love you,” you uttered.

Jaehyun nods against the nape of your head. “I’ll come back to you, my home. I love you too.” A tear slips out of his tears, as he feels somehow fearful and worried, like any other human being. “I believe in you, Jae.”

With that, he left with your kisses in his cheeks, and you only look anxiously from your balcony, praying so hard to whoever up there to let him make it out alive.

“Raise up your appetite, dear. You shouldn’t live like this.” The queen uttered. You heave a sigh, putting down your spoon to stop playing with your food. “I’m sick of waiting, mother. I need to know if he’s safe, and.. alive.” You lowered your voice while mentioning the word ‘alive’, a word that you apparently despise these days. 

“Don’t worry, my child. Jaehyun is a strong warrior, he’s not the number one for nothing.” The queen goes to your side as you sob miserably at the thought of missing him. “I miss him, mother.” “I know, dear. I know,” the queen kissed the top of your head while muttering words to soothe your restless figure.

As the time passes on quickly, you distract yourself from the thought of Jaehyun by taking care of some of the royal cases. You attended every boring conferences you told Jaehyun about, and ended up reminiscing how he would bring you water and roses to help you relax. You also attended every archery classes, and would end up getting reminded of how he would help you straighten your back while aiming the target, about how his hands linger on you.

You’re very well aware that you’re gonna be pretty much insane if you don’t hear about him in less than a month, but you kept your patience, and so, two months passed along with your struggle.

You run past every man who just came back from the war field, looking for one particular man between all of them. “Jaehyun.. Jae?” You call out his name, but no one answers. You kept looking for his figure until the person you didn’t wish to see stopped in front of you. You narrow your eyes at the sight of him, but you know that he actually can give you the information you needed. 

“Prince Han, w-where’s he? Is he coming late or? Tell me, please.”

He dragged you to somewhere quiet until you brushed him aside. “Just get straight to the point. Why can’t I find him anywhere?”

Prince Han looked at you with a sorrowful look, before he opens his mouth. “I’m sorry for you, princess. But, he’s not coming back.”

Your entire world seems to collapse the moment he uttered those words. Your head starts to spin like you were hit by a dangerous storm. “Impossible,” you mumbled. 

“No, there’s no way he couldn’t survive- I..he-” you stuttered as words can’t seem to get into your head. Prince Han holds you closer to his frame, as he watched in agony. “Jae.. my jae,” you mumbled against his chest while sobs flowing throughout your eyes. 

He pats your back gently as guilt start to surround his guts. Now that he watched you mourn to someone who’s not him, he knows that you truly love that person.

Days turned into weeks, and weeks turned into months. You never imagined that you would pass any more weeks than you’ve expected. Everything felt unreal for you, it’s like you’re living in a nightmare. You crave for him every night, yearning for his touch, just like when you said that night. Was that really your last time with him? You can’t even conceive it anymore. 

The day when you and the queen went to his family’s house was the worst. You fell down to your knees, begging for the family’s forgiveness. You swore you’d kill yourself when you saw Yuno crying over his brother. You couldn’t even look at her in the eyes when his mother told you to get up, saying that all of these was his choice, and that Jaehyun would be sad if he saw all of you cry over him.

You took the whole family to live at the palace, as an act of apology. Day by day passed as you’d watch over Yuno, your new companion, every day. A little version of him, you would say. You hang around Yuno at the library every night, the both of you would end up crying whenever Yuno told you stories of his brother’s little habit.

Today is the day when you have to truly let go of him, as you built a warrior statue of him, as a mark of remembrance, that he would always live in your heart. You bring the whole family behind you to put some beautiful flowers over the statue. You walk ahead with Yuno, him holding a bucket of fresh white Lilies.

After a small mourning event, you kindly requested everyone to leave you alone near the statue. You immediately fall to your knees when everyone departed away. “You said you’d come back. You broke your promise again, you fool.” You smile through all the tears that flow like a waterfall on your cheeks. 

You put the last flower on top of the other flowers. “You’ll forever live in my heart, Jae.” Your shoulders shake as loud sobs start to be heard. 

“I’m sorry.” A familiar raspy voice appeared like a fantasy. You scoff, “Even now you sound real too, I should be imagining things, right?” You look at the flowers as you wipe your tears harshly.

“Y/n,” he called again. “No, don’t be like this, Y/n. He’s not here and you’re just imagining things-” 

Before you know it, a pair of hands wrapped you in hug tight. Your eyes widen in shock, as you recognize his scent. “J-jaehyun?” you muttered slowly. 

He let go, before looking straight at your round orbs. “Yeah, I’m here. I’m alive, my darling.” A tear rolled out of his eyes, and you swear that everything around you stops in a moment. You keep your eyes still in his disheveled look, afraid that the moment you blink, he’ll disappear. “How? Are you... are you real?” You asked.

Jaehyun nods gently. “I’m here, baby. I came home. I’m sorry I arrived late.”

You break into a loud sobs, as if a hundred kilo of weights are being lifted from your back. You hug him tightly, afraid of him leaving again. “You, evil little thing! You made us all worried. Please don’t ever scare me like this again.” You sob while hitting him lightly, throwing all of your sorrow to him. He stayed still while receiving his little ‘punishment’, before stopping you by pressing his lips into you.

“I’m sorry.” He mumbled. “Are you okay? Are you hurt? Oh my god, look at your arms, there are bruises everywhere,” you babbled when you check out his disheveled figure. “Let’s get you treated,” you uttered.

Jaehyun gives you a small look as he wraps his arms around you once again, “You don’t even know how happy I am to come back to you, my home.”

After getting him treated, the queen held a fest to celebrate his return. You also held a little celebration with him and Yuno. And that night where you dressed up as the white queen swan and him as your white king swan, as always, the both of you sneak out of the party, bringing a lot of snacks and drinks to enjoy the night alone, away from the crowds. 

He told you everything about how he ended up in a puddle of mud, and how his life flashed before him when he was dying. He also explained how some people found him and helped him until he was ready to go back.

“I miss those times when we’d stare at the starry sky. I miss your hometown, the village was so lovely.”

Jaehyun nods, “I miss wearing my loose shirt and carrying my toil and sail through the ocean.” You give him a look, “Do you want to go back? Let’s go to the small island you told me.” 

He cups your cheeks delicately, “Anywhere with you sounds right, baby.”

You peck his tempting plump lips, and you both spend the night filling all the moments he was away from you. Now that he’s back in your arms, which is his home, he gladly told you that this is not going to be your last.

Years later, you both vowed after the preacher with a long-lasting marriage kiss, before the queen crowned you as her heir, as the next queen, alongside with Jaehyun as your king. He’ll be by your side forever, no matter what happens, as a part of your happily ever after.

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[the-darklings]

The Softness of Your Leave;

A/N: A short blurb on how I think @the-darklings‘ OC!Vipress would react to John leaving if Chicago had happened a few years before it actually did.

I realized this is (unintentionally) very similar to Chapter 15 of Children of Ares… oh, well. Also this made me very sad so read at your own risk :)

Constructive criticism is welcome, this is my first real fanfiction of… another fanfiction? Call it what you want <3

- - -

You walk softly, letting the wet pavement beneath you absorb the clicking of your shoes. Looking back, you should’ve seen this coming. The glint in his eyes, the uneasiness in his voice… the way he hesitated at the door at the sight of you holding his phone in your cold, trembling hands.

You tried to crush this hope for so long, but always let a small ray of light pass through your stone walls. It was pathetic, really.

You should’ve known. If only…

You breathe deeply, letting out a painful sigh. “If only,” you mutter weakly, the knot in your throat unrelenting as you stumble toward the familiar building.

The rain patters, softly.

- - -

“Cara, do you know how late it-”

He cuts himself off, a rarity, at the sight of you. The sharp intake of breath he takes barely registers in your foggy mind, and you give yourself a look over. The parts of your body that don’t feel impossibly distant let you see a mental image of yourself. A foolish woman, with her head down, soaking wet, legs shaking - barely able to stand, holding her torso as if she could block out the world, and… tears.

Tears.

You realize with a pang of your already strained heart that you’ve only shed your liquid grief once in the presence of Santino D’Antonio, Heir of Camorra. But that was years ago, in Chicago, and it is a distant thing. Your show of emotion was not shown out of trust, it was out of necessity.

Unlike now.

You vaguely wonder if he’s thinking the same thing.

He stares at you… he stares. Disbelief must be written across he face, and what a sight that must be. You have the urge to tease him about his obvious concern about you, but your strength is so depleted that you don’t give it a second thought. His breathing turns heavy, and you can sense his rising panic when you numbly make your way to a chair, not a word of acknowledgment passing your lips.

You collapse, stiffly, on the plush velvet, eyes outlining the city skyline you’ve known for so long. How did this happen? How did your demeanor change so dramatically? From the poisonous, feared Vipress to…

A scared little girl.

You wince slightly, ever so slightly, when Viggo’s voice passes your mind.

Back to square one, маленькая гадюка.

- - -

He tries. Really, he tries.

“I made you tea, carissima… it’s warm,” he says, barely above a whisper.

- - -

“Look, cara, I brought you that blanket you always use when you visit,” he tells you with sad fondness. He hesitates, his voice rough, “the soft one, which you always end up kicking off your bed in the morning… do you remember, sole prezioso?”

- - -

“Amore,” he mutters, his accent weighing down his shaky words, “You know you can talk to me about whatever ails you - you know that, right? Please know that…“

- - -

His voice fades after a while.

- - -

You sit still as a stone.

Outside, the rain falls. 

Softly.

- - -

Ares is here.

She sits across from you, and signs anxiously, hands blurring in your vision. She waits a minute, then repeats the motion more slowly. You don’t have the will to reply.

She offers you water. 

You think she signs to someone else, but the two figures soon become fuzzy.

She leaves a while after.

- - -

Santino passes your view a few times.

You think you see his hair, free of gel, bouncing along with his frantic steps.

You smile faintly in your mind at the sight.

- - -

“(Name).”

- - -

“(Name).”

Your eyes slowly open. You blink a few times, the light blinding, then your vision focuses. 

Fuck.

“I see you’ve grown comfortable in that little chair of yours,” Winston remarks lightly.

You take in his crisp navy blue three piece suit, his tidy hair, and his glasses in his hands as he cleans them. The sunlight outside highlights his aged skin.

You gaze at him, confused.

After a moment he puts his glasses on the coffee table and leans forward, his hands clasped on his knees. The air is thick.

“How has your “self-exile” been treating you?” he asks casually. Rhetorical. He could be talking abut the weather.

You stay silent, still puzzled in his company.

He stays silent, as well.

You decide to throw caution to the wind and try to speak.

“Why-” you clear your throat, a scratchy, horrible sound, “why are you…?”

“Here?” he finishes, looking around the room for effect. The calm inquiry in his voice makes your foggy instincts stir with unease. “Let’s say an…” he pauses, seemingly in thought, ”…old friend, if you will, called for aid.”

You squint, your slow mind trying to figure out whom he meant. You’re still in thought when Winston stands up and brandishes his hand.

“Up, now, dear. Three days sitting in one place ought to be unhealthy for the mind.”

- - -

You now sit at the table, Winston at your side as he eyes you, sipping at a glass of water.

Your body demands food. It demands water, and it’s a struggle to keep up with your weakened body.

Santino sits across you, his eyes never leaving you. 

You keep your eyes down, not saying a word.

- - -

After you’ve eaten, Winston leaves for the door with an authoritative ‘I’ll be on my way’. He nods to you, his eyes warning you to keep eating. Not a second after, Santino gets up in a rush and follows, his gait brisk and his eyes forward. You stay seated, not willing to waste your energy, but your trained hearing picks up on snippets of their quiet conversation.

“Not sure what-”

“…just came in and-”

“Are you sure you…”

“She’s not-”

“…can’t even stand-”

You block them out, the implications of their speech making your heart drop to your toes.

Weak. Not worth saving.

It rings in your thoughts like a bell, Kishi’s sneering face the only thing you see.

Your eyes moisten with fear, but the tears don’t spill over.

You slide the water away from you, your whole body shaking, and take another bite of the fruit in your hand.

- - -

“Fiore dolce, do you want to talk about it?”

You look down at your lap in thought. The bed cradles your sitting form despite Santino taking up most of the weight across from you. Your fingers start to tremble, and you bring them into fists on your thighs. You contemplate fleeing and avoiding him for the rest of your lives.

It doesn’t surprise you as much as it should when you feel reluctant to leave his side.

“It won’t change what happened,” you murmur quietly. Your knuckles turn pale.

He considers this, his curls swaying as he tilts his head. No smirk. No mirth. 

He looks solemn. It reminds you of Chicago…

“But it will help what happens after,” he replies, his voice encouraging, gentle.

You stay quiet for a long time. You consider telling him a lie, you consider not telling him at all… and you consider your usual snarky response that gives you an out.

But this situation isn’t usual. Nothing about this is black and white.

It’s raw, venturing trust.

You tell him before you can change your mind, before you can stop yourself.

You tell him about the fleeting kiss you and he shared, Tokyo and what it did to you, and everything before… the way he acted with you, then the text message… and the emotions that raged like a hurricane through your body… and the way he said he wished things were different. Through your telling, the telltale crease between Santino’s brows deepens with every word. And you don’t reach out to him because you just started talking and now you can’t stop and it’s spilling out and oh, how it hurts.

“I told him…” your voice cracks, the words tumbling over your tongue in a rush. “‘If you walk out of that door…” you suppress a sob, because you know that this will hurt and you know that this will help you heal… You try to take a deep breath, but it gets caught in the knot that clogs your tears.

“I… I never want to see you again.’“ You gasp out, your pain spilling over. You try to catch your breath, realizing this is the end, that voicing what happened makes it real - makes it a part of your reality. Unwaveringly true.

You hesitate.

“And then?” Santino asks, his glazed eyes on your hands in his, his voice smooth, too smooth… he’s acting too calm. You know that tone from your years of working for him, you know what happens to those he uses particular voice with. You force yourself to suppress an involuntary shiver, even though he is not directing it at you. This is his first reaction he has expressed aside from the crease between his brows, and you can feel the simmering unknown emotions that linger beneath his blank facade.

“He…” you whisper, barely staying conscious through the pounding in your temple. “He gave me a look…it couldn’t decipher it but…”

You’re stalling. It’s so hard.

You let it out of your heart.

“He left me to be alone.”

At first, the weight you’ve been holding rips through you, tearing your shattered heart apart again and again and again…

And then stillness.

Not the kind you and he experience, the stillness of a predator relying on instincts alone.

You feel a stillness in your heart, the beat slows to a halt and your blood runs cold. This feeling is new, and you feel a solitary drop fall from your lashes. 

You suddenly remember where you are and why Santino is so quiet so you look up at him in worry and…

His grip on your hands is as light as before, but his whole body has turned rigid, every muscle taut. The vein in his temple is about to burst, his heavy breathing concerning, and his eyes…

His eyes hide a thousand thoughts of bloodlust and rage.

He must feel your stare because he slowly looks up, and the moment your gazes meet he slumps forward, his curls covering is face from view.

You guess whoever said it really meant that actions speak louder than words. Because when he slowly brings his arms around you, giving you time to back away, to retreat behind your stone barriers and never see the light of day again… you feel safer than you ever could with a thousand words and walls.

Your body instantly stiffens, the feeling of safety foreign to you. And a moment passes before you realize what this is and you’re barely able to stop the emotions surfacing as you hesitantly coax your muscles to let go. You slowly relax in his hold, vulnerable, and the moment he registers this he sweeps you toward him in a rush. You end in his lap, your legs draped over his knee and your face buried in his stupid expensive white shirt as he holds you flush against him, your hands gripping the back of his shirt… a lifeline.

Without thinking, you deeply breathe in his wonderful smell, his feathery curls grazing your forehead.

You release your breath shakily, your hot breath making him shiver pleasantly under you, and with it comes silent tears that soak his shirt to his skin.

He lets you stay here, cradling you like a fragile thing that is on the verge of shattering into a thousand pieces, never to be repaired again.

A sob escapes your throat, the loving physical contact that your body has craved for so long taking its toll, and your whole body convulses from its force, your tears flowing violently.

“Shhh… Shhhh, mio amore più caro,” he whispers in your ear, using the gentlest voice you’ve ever heard from him, only making the tears spill over completely, he notices this, and strokes your hair so lightly you barely feel it, but it’s soothing all the same. “Sei al sicuro qui e sempre… ti proteggerò dal mondo e da chiunque osi ferirti di nuovo … adesso e per sempre… cara mia.”

You absorb his words, turn them over gently in your mind. Letting them encase you in his embrace. He’s warm, you think hazily.

“Lasciami stare con te…” you whisper weakly.

“Ovviamente, mi amore.” He says, gentle.

You know you shouldn’t… your instincts seethe harshly against it, your mind is telling you to stop, get away, get far away and protect yourself… 

Your past hurt comes to hit you full force as you feel the need to kick him away, to scramble your way out of his grasp and into a corner where you’ll be safe.

You sit like that for a while, contemplating whether to give another man a piece of your heart… 

He will tear you down and throw you to the wolves without having a second thought… just like I did. Kishi.

He’ll destroy your life, leave you in his bloody wake… Viggo.

…just like he did.

John.

But…

…he’s not like him.

Santino is not…

Santino is not John.

You’re tired. You’re so tired.

You bury your nose into his neck, taking one last deep breath, and the smell of fresh linen and lavender fill your nose… practically forcing your mind to slow down.

Your shoulders completely slump, your whole body leaning into him, for his support… for his love. Because no matter how much you deny it, you are only human.

You let yourself start to drift… protected from the world by this man whom you’ve given a piece of yourself to. You fall into slumber with one last thought in mind.

Let him hold me, for he is softer than the softest rain.

#KAT'S NOTES: WHEN I SAY THIS MADE ME SCREAM........ #so i had a very busy day sorry it took me a moment to get to this but i read it first thing in the morning over my ocffee #and let me tell you ALL OF DISCORD WAS CRYING WITH ME #it was so soft #and sad but ughhh #i like the twist of 'what if chicago happened before john left' a lot because s/v would be SO much closer #her going to him directly made a lot of sense #him trying #ugh #HIM CALLING HER PRECIOUS SUN NEARLY KILLED ME COLD #I WAS SJDFHJDKG #BECAUSE EMILIA CALLED HIM 'LITTLE SUN' AND SANTINO ASSOCIATES V WITH THE SUN. #CONSIDERS HER HIS SUN #SO THAT NICKNAME AHHHHHH #(i myself have played around with a few sun related nicknames but haven't written any yet) #this was soooo good thank you #the last line made my heart melt a little ngl #beautiful work!!! #kat's fic recs #fic: not mine #submission

[rena-rain]

Evidence for ADHD Marinette

Marinette has some tendencies in the show - that she does over and over again - that scream ADHD to me. Obviously I can’t cite every single instance in the show that points toward that, but here are some examples of ADHD traits/symptoms Marinette repeatedly exhibits on screen.

Forgetfulness, Time Management

Forgetting things. A hallmark of ADHD.

Let’s look at Timebreaker. Mari was all set to do her homework and wait for her parents’ client, completely forgetting that she was supposed to bring a banner for a race between her friends Kim and Alix - across town. Alya calling her at all didn’t even remind her, she had to be told explicitly what was happening before she remembered. Then proceeded to freak out because she’d accidentally made two commitments at the same time.

Marinette completely spaced on the race, even though it was important to her, because there was something else right in front of her: homework, her parents’ anniversary, and the Eiffel Tower cake. She was then certain that she could make it to the race and still be back at the bakery to meet Mrs. Chamack - which was a resounding NOT for anyone who watched the episode. The only way she got away with it was by literally being in two places at once. ADHD often comes with a bad sense of time, so while 20 minutes probably felt like enough time to Marinette it passed way more quickly than anticipated. 

Forgetfulness, Distractability

Ah, another instance of Alya reminding Mari of her plans. In this case she’d lost track of time because of the Adrien ad playing on a loop on her computer - to the point that she was still not dressed even though all her friends were out and about (including the ones waiting for her at the pool).

As soon as she realized she was very late, Mari grabbed her stuff and sprinted out of her house without changing out of her pajamas. Even when Tikki told her she was forgetting something she’d jumped to the wrong conclusion - although she may very well have forgotten both her swim suit and to change. 

Impulsivity, Creativity

Marinette improvises all the time. And she has a habit of diving headfirst into dangerous, crazy plans. The girl was facing down a T. Rex headfirst in Animan, and when she got her lucky charm her weird, creative problem-solving skills told her to jump into its mouth and jam it open.

In general, I think her use of the lucky charms indicates a wild creativity that’s characteristic of ADHD. Current research shows a very high correlation between ADHD and creative personalities, and Dr. William Dodson (who has been studying ADHD for 25 years) has found that “by the time most people with the condition reach high school, they are able to tackle problems that stump everyone else, and can jump to solutions that no one else saw.”

Marinette exhibits this surprising and unorthodox problem solving when she spots a series of seemingly unrelated objects that will somehow end the fight. Take Copycat for example. She got a freaking SPOON and she decided to make it into a homemade fishing rod to hoist the fake Chat Noir into the air by his belt. WHAT EVEN

more Impulsivity

Even before she got comfortable in her skin-tight supersuit, Marinette did demonstrate an inclination to take impulsive risks in the origins episode. Master Fu tested her by deliberately walking in front of a moving car to see if she’d save him.

There was no hesitation here. She saw Fu, saw the car, and immediately ran out to pull him to safety. The whole thing happened in a few seconds. Obviously this action was motivated by her inherent kindness; she didn’t do a dangerous thing because it was dangerous. Plenty of good people (none of whom seemed to be at the crosswalk that day, they all noticed nothing) would have wanted to do something but hesitated, or not reacted in time.

Not Marinette. While she was clearly scared for him, the high stakes of the situation didn’t faze her; she just acted instinctively. According to Dr. Dale Archer, ADHD brains do well under pressure, because high-stress situations get the dopamine flowing and those levels make them snap to attention.

Time Management, Impulsivity (again)

In Lady Wifi, Marinette ran into class late for no indicated reason, something she does frequently (and only sometimes it’s because of Ladybug duties) to the point where her chronic tardiness becomes a running gag. This is an extension of her inability to judge time accurately as discussed above. 

Also demonstrated in this episode, ADHD’ers will often have outbursts and accidentally say things without thinking. Upon learning what happened to Alya from Nino, she lost control and shouted “What?!?!?!” not once, but TWICE. It could also allude to emotional dysregulation (a less-known ADHD symptom) because she was unable to keep her emotional reactions to her friend getting in trouble under control. 

Hyperfixation, Emotional Dysregulation

Hey, remember when Marinette was so absorbed in that Adrien ad that she forgot about her friends and her clothes? I think the Adrien video hit her with a double whammy, because she’s deeply infatuated with him and this new thing about the guy she likes ensnared her attention.

So Marinette is obsessed with Adrien, right? I’m sure most of us would fawn over a new ad starring our crush-who’s-also-a-model. But she has a one-track mind when it comes to him. Hyperfixation is an extremely intense obsession and focus on a subject, and I think her crush can qualify because it tends to dominate her life and attention. While many things may be difficult for Marinette to maintain focus on, ADHD is great for focusing on things that are interesting, challenging, and new. So when that beautiful ad showed up, this new thing related to her fixation pushed all the happy dopamine buttons in her brain. She obviously finds Adrien interesting because she’s interested in him, and she keeps trying to get him to notice her romantically and that’s definitely a challenge.

If you’d like/need another example of Marinette hyperfixating on something, I give you: fashion. Okay, maybe that’s more of a passion than a fixation, but the episode Mr. Pigeon DID give us a hyperfocusing Marinette when she spent hours and hours on end designing and making the derby hat for Gabriel Agreste’s competition.

Moving on to emotional dysregulation. We’ve seen Marinette overreact to Alya being mistreated in Lady Wifi. Even casual watchers of Miraculous will know that Marinette has similarly powerful reactions to feelings and events concerning Adrien. I can’t even begin to count the number of times she's screamed around him.

Remember that time she publicly yelled at Lila in Volpina? Her jealousy and annoyance at her lies completely dictated her decisions here and she went way overboard - as Adrien was quick to tell her. She laid into her. NOT normal behavior for Marinette when she has her head on straight. Tikki sure wasn’t supportive of Marinette using Ladybug like this.

Tikki also wasn’t too pleased when she used her lucky charm to break up Adrien and Chloe slow dancing at his birthday party. This is another time her jealousy overtook her.

And one more little overreaction here. In Copycat, Marinette was totally spiraling in true melodramatic fashion about the consequences of stealing a phone. She imagined a life sentence. This is characteristic of how ADHD’ers often have trouble regulating emotions, leading to overblown responses to various stressors. Is it just me, or does she get particularly worked up when she’s fantasizing (both good and bad)?

I can’t find a picture for it, but another time Marinette was reacting very strongly to a predicament was in Mr. Pigeon when she paced back and forth, flipping through her sketchbook, and ranted at Alya about how difficult a derby hat design would be. She was pretty disheartened by her lack of immediate inspiration; she was even curled up on the bench dejectedly while Alya tried to help her.

It’s also worth mentioning that she totally ran into a wall after Adrien complimented her drawings.

I could add more, but this post is already basically an essay and I think you get the point. If you share the ADHD Marinette headcanon do please add any examples you think of!

#adhd #adhd marinette #marinette dupain cheng #marinette #marinette dupain-cheng #master fu #ml #mlb #miraculous ladybug #tales of ladybug and cat noir #cat noir #chat noir #alya cesaire #alya #time management #hyperfixation #hyperfocus #impulsivity #impulsive #creative thinking #problem solving #emotions #emotional #emotional dysregulation #forgetfulness #I did so much citing for this #citations #so many citations #college has really gotten to me guys #marinette headcanon

[calpalirwin]

You’ll Always Have Me

Summary: Alyssa and Ashton have been best friends ever since Alyssa moved in across the street the summer before second grade. Together, they were tackling the stereotype that boys and girls can’t just be friends. That is, until they almost kissed right before their junior year of high school. Can their friendship survive the jealousy that stems from their newfound feelings? And what happens when they realize these “newfound feelings” really aren’t all that new?

And away, and away we go!

Chapter 4

~Alyssa

July 2017~

I saw Ash’s head peek over his back gate as he recognized the sound of my mom’s van coming up the street. The gate swung open and he crossed his yard, Toby at his heels. He was shirtless and his trunks were still dripping wet. It was a sight I’d seen countless times, but this time I had to take a second look. Last summer he’d gone through a growth spurt that left him tall and awkward. Now, he looked… well in the month I’d been gone, he had grown out of his dweebishness and looked like all the hot guys I’d spent all of last school year gushing about with Sierra. My heart raced in my chest, and I forced myself to remember that he was still the same Ash I’d always known.

He wrapped me in a hug as soon as I got out of the car. “Hey!” He took a step back to look at me. His eyes went wide. “Wow… you look… wow.”

I immediately crossed my arms over my chest, which had decided to grow in a more pronounced fashion in the month I’d been gone.

“Wow, yourself,” I replied. “Finally stopped looking like a dweeb, I see.”

“You finally grew boobs,” was the equally sassy retort.

I laughed, thinking to myself, Yep, same old Ash. “Give me five minutes and I’ll join you,” I told him, nodding at his swim trunks.

“Yeah, for sure. See ya in a bit.” We did our handshake and he darted back across the street. He glanced over his shoulder to make sure Toby had followed him before and gave me a quick wave before disappearing into his backyard.

Upstairs in the room, I threw my suitcase open and dug around for my swimsuit. Once I changed, I looked at myself in the mirror. Just when I thought the puberty gods were going to bless with Ash with height and completely bypass me, in a matter of a month they had come and changed my body seemingly overnight. And clearly they had given Ash another pass. Suddenly self-conscious of the thought of Ash seeing so much of my skin- an irrational thought considering we’d seen each other in swimsuits for nine years- I threw on one of my baggiest shirts, which just so happened to be one of Ash’s band shirts he gave me after his growth spurt.

When I showed up in his backyard, Ash was floating lazily on a raft, hands crossed under his head. “Nice shirt,” he commented before flipping himself off the raft and into the pool.

“Yeah, that’s why I stole it.” I lifted the shirt over my head and draped it over one of the chairs along with my towel. I kicked off my sandals and turned towards the pool. I was about to jump, but something made me stop. “What?” I asked, feeling self-conscious again.

He shook his head. “Nothing,” he lied.

“You’re a bad liar.”

“You just look different.”

“Good different or bad different?”

“Good different.”

“Good.”

We spent our afternoon just like we had spent every other lazy summer afternoon for the past nine years. Only this afternoon was different somehow. Sometimes I’d catch myself just staring at him, in a kind of awe at how much he no longer looked like the dorky kid I was used to. Other times I caught him looking at me in the same way. I briefly entertained the idea of us potentially dating before shoving the thought away. No, I told myself, Ash is off limits. It’ll screw everything up.

That was the thought I remembered later that night when we said goodbye. I made the excuse that it was getting late. He faked a yawn and agreed that he was a little tired himself. We did our handshake, but when we did our last high-five, he intertwined his fingers into mine, something neither of us had ever done before. We let both our hands drop, our fingers still locked together. He stared into my eyes and I stared into his, feeling like I was really looking at him for the first time. I knew his eyes were a hazel-green, but I never noticed the flecks of gold and the way the green and gold danced under the porchlight. How a boy could have such pretty eyes was beyond me, and totally unfair because I thought my own eyes sucked.

“Aly, I…” he started, his voice a low whisper. His tongue darted out to lick at his lips.

My own throat felt dry and my heart was pounding so loud I was pretty sure the whole block could hear it. “No,” I said, firmly. I wasn’t sure what I was saying no to, or why because if he was about to kiss me like I thought he was, I really wanted that to happen.

He took a step back, confused, and whatever spell that had been holding us captive was broken. He quickly let go of my hands and took another step back. “Uh, yeah. See ya tomorrow.” One of his hands pushed through his hair as his eyes darted for a place to settle that wasn’t on me.

“Yeah, see ya.”

Our almost kiss only added to my need to remember not to let my sudden crush on Ash become anything more than that. Although I knew nothing could come of me realizing I liked Ash in a more than best friend fashion, it didn’t stop the onslaught of jealousy I felt every time a girl flirted with him. 

It was clear when school started that I wasn’t the only one taken aback by Ash’s good looks. He would always laugh and blow them off, but it didn’t stop my blood from boiling. Then, Kayla Collins came into the picture, with her unrelenting behavior to make Ash the Oblivious more than aware that she wanted a relationship with him.

I tried to be nice to Kayla for Ash’s benefit. But it was hard to play nice with a girl who had the boy I wanted without the awkwardness of ruining a lifelong friendship if things went bad.

In hopes of stirring up a little jealousy from Ash, I shamelessly flirted with boys who flirted with me. I laughed louder than I needed to at their jokes, even if I didn’t find it funny. And when Calum Hood had asked to be lab partners in Anatomy, I said yes.

#you'll always have me #chapter 4 #ashton irwin #5SOS #galcal irwin

[imyourliquor-youremypoison]

A Girl’s Best Friend (Peter Parker x OC) - Part 14

Synopsis: Diamonds are man’s best friend- or dogs are girls’ best friends, wait… how does the saying go again?

Warnings: Family issues; Peter has a crush and it’s complicated; mention of assault; good dogs; College AU; aged up! characters; TONY STARK IS ALIVE AND WE ALL LIVE IN A HAPPY PLACE CALLED DENIAL

Word count: 2.4k

Part 13 <<< >>> Part 15

MASTERLIST

               The streets of New York have never seemed shadier and less safe than tonight. Bella felt Emmeline’s unease and urged the pace, trying to reach their destination quicker. She had entered the address Ned texted her in maps, and now power walked through the city. She didn’t want to use a taxi, she needed the fresh air, despite feeling cold down to her very soul, she needed the quiet.

               One would argue that the streets of New York, even at night and on Christmas day, were not quiet. But it was better than being trapped inside a taxi. It felt good to walk somewhere after having been taken from one place to another all day, wearing high heels and a dress. In comparison, her winter boots and jeans and sweater sure felt like the most comfortable thing she had ever worn.

“We’re here… I think,” she told Bella, who stopped in her tracks as soon as Emmeline turned towards the building harboring the right number. “The fourth floor, he said. The light is on at least.”

               This building was nothing like what she was used to. The staircase was narrow, the walls needed a fresh layer of paint, the steps were uneven in places and the whole place smelled a bit weird, but she climbed up, preceded by Bella, up to the fourth floor. She stared at the doormat for the longest time, smiling to herself. It read Carpe Diem, the lettering surrounded by tacky blue flowers.

               The door opened. She hadn’t even realized she had knocked, but soon, there was a tall woman standing before her, big glasses on her nose, long brown hair, a friendly smile that quickly dropped when she saw Emmeline’s bandage.

               Em opened her mouth to say something but the woman – aunt May she presumed – was quicker.

“You must be Em,” she said. “Come on in, honey. It’s cold outside.”

               May held the door open for her and Bella, smiling at the dog wagging its tail, not showing any animosity towards the friendly woman. For the first time in hours, Emmeline felt warm. As soon as she stepped inside this tiny, slightly cluttered apartment, she was hit by a wave of coziness and warmth that nearly made her cry again.

“I’m so sorry to intrude, I know it’s Christmas but I couldn’t reach Peter and I was worried so I decided to come by. I hope I’m not-“

“Easy there,” May laughed, giving a reassuring squeeze to her shoulder and offering to take her coat. Emmeline nodded and took of the garment, handing it to her host who hung it behind the door, along with her scarf. “You’re not intruding at all. Peter’s friends are always welcome here. Do you want something to drink? You look like you could do with some warming up. I’ll tell Peter you’re here.”

“I’d love a drink, yes,” she graciously accepts, wiping her palms on her jeans. Where to stand? What to do? Bella barked suddenly, making Emmeline jump back and clasp a hand over her heart.

“Oh, she must have sensed Tessa’s presence,” May explained, smiling as she filled the kettle with water. “Peppermint alright with you?”

               Emmeline nodded. This was an out of body kind of experience; she had no idea what too do with herself.

“Sit down, please. I saw what happened tonight, you must be pretty shaken up. I’m sorry you had to go through that, but I’m glad Peter and you are both alright.” She offered her a sincere smile when handed her a mug with her tea. “I’ll be right back.”

               May disappeared for a second, to get Peter. It was Emmeline’s chance to take a deep breath and look a bit around her. This place was full of life and memories. On the walls hung pictures of Peter when he was younger. There were trophies in a corner, and a medal too. He had won prizes at science fairs and whatnot. Emmeline smiled to herself. She had won her fair share of prizes too, but she didn’t know what happened to those – except that they were definitely not proudly displayed on her parents’ mantlepiece that’s for sure.

               Peter came back alone; May must have thought they’d want a bit of privacy.

“Em, what- what are you doing here?” he stuttered out, still pulling down his sweater when he stumbled into the living room. He was coming out of the shower.

“Peter-“

               Emmeline’s instinct was to pull on Bella’s leash to prevent her from growling up at Peter since she has never met him – a feat, really. How was it even possible that her dog and Peter had never seen each other?

               Except the strangest thing happened: Bella didn’t start barking, or growling. Bella gently tugged on her leash and rolled on her back, asking for belly scratches from this perfect stranger.

               It rose a red flag in Emmeline’s mind, and for some reason, she recalled what Dexter told him about having a shattered jaw. She suddenly remembered Peter’s unexplainable bruises, and how tired he always was. Spider-Man telling her that Peter was safe, even though she hadn’t mentioned his name. Peter knowing she was lactose intolerant when she hasn’t told him. She connected dots that she had no idea she even noted, she linked together seemingly unrelated events until she came to a conclusion that she wasn’t sure she liked at all. It was crazy. She had to be wrong. But was she?

               Her eyes landed on his shirt, and she saw it. The tiniest, faintest trace of blood forming exactly where the thought Spider-Man had been shot.

“What the fuck?” she breathed out.

               Peter flinched, having seen the look of recognition in her eyes. She had come here to appease her mind, not to unveil a secret she had no idea was there. A part of her saw Peter more clearly than she ever had before; another part felt the full impact of the betrayal she just found out about.

“Don’t freak out,” he told her, holding up his hands. “I can explain.”

“Can you, now?” she asked, barely holding it together. Was she going to cry or scream and throw a vase at him? Even she didn’t know. Oh, it would be a surprise then. “What explanation could possibly make this pill easier to swallow?”

               Bella seemed confused about the lack of belly scratched and rolled over again, now looking for the other dog in the house. Em unhooked the leash without thinking, watching Bella dash towards another room. Yes, she wanted to storm out and never look back, but she also wanted to stay here. More than anything. She wanted to hold Peter in her arms, and find the reassurance she had come here to find.

               Instead, she found this new mess to deal with.

“What the fuck, Peter?” she repeated. “Months! It lasted months!”

               She didn’t need to explain what she was referring to. All the times he had visited her. Hell, he had visited her tonight. She had spent a whole five minutes crying into his chest. She had told him her secrets, she had trusted him, Spider-Man. Only to find out that he was the very person she was telling him about.

“Oh, my God,” Emmeline whispered to herself. “Oh, my God.”

               Her fingers raked through her hair so hard it hurt her scalp but everything was too much, too much to deal with. She already had so much on her plate, how was she supposed to handle this too?

“It’s not a joke, is it? If it is, it’s sick, and you need to tell me right now,” she said, holding onto a shred of hope.

               Peter slowly shook his head no, and Emmeline fell onto the sofa, unable to stand any longer.

“I’m sorry, I-“

“Don’t. Don’t serve me a stupid excuse.” It was impossible to pretend not to be disappointed and hurt. She didn’t even look at him. “You came tonight. You were on my balcony only an hour ago. I was worried sick that something happened to you when we got separated during the shooting. I tried to call you, I asked Ned to text me your address and I came all the way here just to make sure you were alright!” she suddenly shouted at him, eyes glistening with unshed tears. “You know that I hate to go out at night! You know because you’re fucking Spider-Man and you were there when I was assaulted in that alley! Couldn’t you let me know you are safe?”

               Peter joined her, kneeling in front of her and trying to get her to meet his eyes.

“I didn’t mean to worry you, I tried to let you know I was okay, remember I told you-“

“Spider-Man told me you were evacuated by the police. That’s all I get? I was worried out of my mind! Anything could have happened! Anything! Dexter was nagging me about having been ditched by my date, the police wouldn’t let me through, I was all alone there, looking for you!”

“I’m sorry, Em. I never meant to hurt you.” It would make things a lot easier if he didn’t look so genuinely sorry, and Emmeline already regretted looking at him. It was easier being mad when she wasn’t looking. “My phone was destroyed in the chaos, and I needed to come back here quickly to let May know I was alive.”

“Does she know?”

“Yes. Ned knows too.” At last she was getting answers. It was as though the truth was pouring out of Peter’s mouth, finally. “But, Em, it’s a secret, you ha-“

“I’m not going to tell anyone,” she cut him off, annoyed that he would even suggest that she would. “Fuck you, Parker!”

               He shot her a little crooked smile.

“That’s not what I was going to say. You have to understand why I didn’t tell you. I didn’t keep it from you for selfish reasons; the people who know are in danger because of it.”

“You’ve seen my life! When am I ever safe?” Emmeline countered, standing up and facing away from Peter now. “I told you so many things… private things…”

               Spider-Man… or rather Peter’s words came rushing back to the forefront of her mind. I only exist to you when I’m here and not outside of this balcony. It wasn’t true. You talk to me the same way you would write in a journal you intend to burn once full. It couldn’t be true.

“And I kept them between us, didn’t I? Whatever you told Spider-Man, I never used it against you as Peter. Please, you have to see that, I didn’t deceive yo-“

“You took advantage of me, whether you like it or not,” she cut him off again. What he said made sense, but she didn’t want to listen to her sense of reason. “What did you expect, Peter? I’m curious. Did you think you could keep on leading two different lives and that I wouldn’t notice? Were you going to maintain two separate relationships with me?”

“No, I…” There was nothing to say, she wasn’t wrong. He hadn’t thought far enough ahead when he began to develop real feelings for her, and when he realized he was, he didn’t want to think about the consequences of his actions. “I don’t know. I don’t know.”

“Well… I don’t know if I can look past what you did,” Emmeline sighed, feeling a stone drop inside of her. She felt like throwing up. She needed to get out of here. “Tell your aunt it was nice to meet her, and thank her for the tea. Bella, come here!”

               She whistled and Bella came running on command, followed by Tessa who stopped by Peter’s feet while Emmeline hooked the leash back on Bella’s collar.

“No, wait,” Peter tried to stop her when she went for her coat. “Please, stay. Let’s talk this out.”

“I don’t want to talk to you, Peter. I can’t even look at you. Don’t try to see me again.”

Every word weighted heavy on her tongue, tasted like rust. She wanted to cry so badly. She wanted to stay in this warm and welcoming place and not have to go back to her empty, lifeless penthouse, where no one waited for her, where no one offered to make her a cup of tea to warm her up.

“Em- Em, please. Please, I didn’t mean to lie. You have to believe me, I’m sorry it came to this. I’m so sorry, I should have told you…”

               She didn’t look at him, she didn’t even turn around as she wrapped her scarf around her neck.

“It applies to Spider-Man, too,” she said. “I don’t- I just….” A sigh. “Stay away from me. I need to be alone.”

               Did she? Not really. But being alone was the closest thing to being safe for her. She was used to it; it was familiar. No one could hurt her, if she was alone. Still, it would have been difficult to miss the tremor in her voice, and Peter flinched upon seeing just how upset he had made her.

               And out she walked, leaving Peter standing there, rubbing his neck, hitting his forehead against the door frame as soon as she was gone. Her perfume lingered in the air for a minute or so, and Tessa whined next to him, sensing that something was off.

“You need to fix this, Peter,” came May’s voice, soft and gentle, as always.

“You heard her,” he answered with a deep, hopeless sigh. “She doesn’t want to see me again.”

“She’ll come back towards you, trust me.” May came to stand by his side and smacked a kiss on top of his head. “Give her time, and then earn back her trust. Make sure to deserve it this time.”

“I really messed up.”

               May only hummed slightly and closed the door, but Peter didn’t need confirmation. He needed Emmeline to forgive him.

.

.

.

Reblog to save a writer

TAGLIST: @of-virtuoso @justanothercynicalgenzkid @the-freefeather​ @complete-trash-101​

#peter parker #spider-man #peter parker imagine #peter parker fanfic #peter parker fanfiction #peter parker oneshot #marvel #mcu #spider-man: far from home #spider-man: homecoming #spiderman #spider-man: ffh #spider-man far from home #spider-man imagine #peter parker x oc #college au #aged up!peter parker #aged up! characters #tony stark is alive #canon divergent rp #post endgame #post ffh

[whimsical-ness]

Felon | 11

◇ Link to Masterlist

◇ Baekhyun & Kyungsoo series: 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07 | 08 | 09 | 10 | 11 | 12 | ?

◇ Genre: Cop! Ksoo, Criminal! Baek, Crime! AU, inspired by Dhoom 2

◇ Summary: As your life takes a dangerous turn when you get caught between a criminal and a cop, you begin to question how thin the line between good and bad really is.

◇ Word Count: 3k

Every possible fear you’d ever had in your entire life somehow manifested into one heart-stopping, terror inducing monster that whirled around your heart and brain and left you feeling numb.

You opened your mouth to say something, anything, but all words, all thoughts had left you, and you were left standing there feeling the world fall apart as Baekhyun clenched his jaw, turning and walking back into the house.

Your legs felt like lead as you stumbled behind him, your hands automatically reaching to grab his arm. “B-Baekhyun, I-I can explain—”

He didn’t even look at you as he roughly pulled away, and your arms fell uselessly to your sides. “It’s not w-what it looked like—”

He whirled around then, and you stepped back feeling your skin burn in scalding guilt as his eyes bore into yours, his mouth twisted into a terrible smile.

“You don’t get to talk, babe,” he said, his voice cold as ice. “You,” he grabbed your shoulders suddenly, making you wince as he roughly pushed you down onto the couch, “just get to sit here and listen.”

You swallowed thickly as his eyes flashed, his footsteps echoing in the silence of the night as he began to pace, every step he took somehow making your heart sink further into your stomach.

Your previously blank mind suddenly came alive with a hurricane of thoughts and emotions, each one more horrifying and gut-wrenching than the previous. 

There was no way out of this. 

You had fucked up, well and truly, and now you were going to meet your miserable fate. You were going to have to look into the eyes of the man you had lied to for months, the man you had started to love, the man who loved you...and face the consequences. 

All you could feel was desperate guilt mingled with complete despair, the unrelenting notion that everything was falling to pieces in front of your eyes and that there was nothing you could do to save it. 

Not anymore.

You shivered.

“Do Kyungsoo,” trembled Baekhyun, his eyes trained on you as he continued to walk back and forth achingly slowly, “You were sent to me by Do Kyungsoo. You were planted.”

You said nothing, your eyes welling up with tears and your hands shaking in your lap as you struggled to keep them steady.

“Answer me,” he hissed, his fingers harsh as they tilted your chin up roughly, his grip on your jaw unforgiving. You blinked through the tears as they spilled down your cheeks, forcing yourself to nod.

Baekhyun looked as if he was struggling to keep himself together just as much as you were. His face had gone pale, his jaw so rigid that it looked like it was about to break.

“His plan was to get to me through you. You were meant to update him on my every move, my every plan. You were the one who informed him about the plan to steal the diamond, you were the reason he was tailing me at the wedding,” he continued, his voice getting more strained with every word he spoke.

Hearing the reality from his mouth made your stomach clench uncomfortably, and you felt sick with guilt, with shame. How had you become this person, who had ruthlessly played with someone’s feelings like this?

You had always thought working for the police would help you out of the darkness and help you become a better person, someone you could be proud of, someone who could live with a heart light of any wrong-doing and crime.

Instead, you had thrown yourself head-first into something worse than you could have ever imagined. You were drowning in the darkness, in the guilt and pain of knowing you had crushed someone’s heart so willingly, that you were the only one to blame for the way things were crumbling with no hope of ever being fixed again.

“Yes,” you whispered, your cheeks wet with tears. “I-I was telling him everything.”

Your spoken confession made Baekhyun slip into strange calmness, and he let out a shaky breath, shutting his eyes.

“For how long?”

The words seemed forced from his throat, and you felt broken.

“Since the very beginning,” you said, so quietly that even you could barely hear yourself. “The n-night at the museum, when I was pretending to be you. I-It was my idea to ask to b-become your partner. It was all m-me.”

You said this because somewhere, at the back of your mind, your guilt was pushing you to tell him the whole, entire truth.

Kyungsoo had not sent you to trick Baekhyun. In fact, he had tried to talk you out of it.

The entire scheme had been your orchestration.

You were the only one to blame.

The momentary calmness on his face was gone just as quickly as it had arrived. In its place, now, was nothing but anger. Anger and heartbreak and anguish, so tremendous that it shook you to the core.

“B-Baekhyun—”

It all happened so suddenly. The broken scream that left you seemed to be torn from you without you realizing it when Baekhyun grabbed the vase perched on the table, and hurled it to the ground, the deafeaning shatter of glass piercing your eardrums.

It was as if a nightmare you couldn’t escape began unfolding before you, as his face contorted in agitation, his hands reaching for anything, everything, to fling to the ground and raise hell. 

You could do nothing, except sob uncontrollably as everything shattered around you; as the table lamp was flung across the room, as picture frames and wine glasses and crystal trinkets fell to the ground, again and again and again in a cacophony of chaos, their fractured pieces just as fractured as your entire being.

“Why did you do this?” gasped Baekhyun, his eyes shining as he stumbled across the wreckage and towards you, his knees hitting the ground with a thud as he knelt before you, his hands clutching yours. “Why?”

“Because you’re a felon,” you whispered, your lip trembling. “Because I was doing my job.”

“Doing your job?” he tore, his voice rough. “You could have arrested me. You could have caught me stealing, handcuffed me and thrown me in jail. But you didn’t do that. Y-You played some sick fucking game—”

“It wasn’t supposed to be like this,” you pleaded, shaking your head as more tears rolled your face. “T-This wasn’t a part of my plan—”

“Which part?” said Baekhyun through a ragged breath, his eyes searching your face as if to find something, anything, that would make things right. “Sleeping with me?” 

You physically flinched, reeling back and looking away from him, your teeth digging into your lower lip to stop you from collapsing into sobs again. 

“That’s what I thought,” he whispered, and you whimpered when he slid his palm up your cheek, his fingers cold against your skin. “From what I saw out there, it looked like Do Kyungsoo’s more than just your boss, isn’t he?”

You swallowed painfully through the lump in your throat, your heart splintering as the realization hit Baekhyun, seemingly yet again. 

“I was going to ask you whether any of it was real,” he faltered, his hand slipping from your face defeatedly. “But clearly, none of it was.”

“That’s not true,” you croaked, sliding off the couch and down beside him, both of you on the floor in the midst of shattered glass and shattered minds. “I-If you heard all of that, outside, then you heard the end—”

“You don’t give a fuck about me,” he spat, shaking his head. “Don’t lie to yourself. Lying to me was enough.”

You flinched as if he’d slapped you.

“The joke’s on me, again,” he said bitterly. “The fucking idiot who let himself trust another girl even though the first one had stuck a knife in his heart. But you know what? Hani hadn’t lied to me, Y/N. She picked her brother over me, she broke my heart. But you...” he trailed off, his voice breaking.

“You wanted this. You wanted to play a game, you wanted to hurt me from the start. You knew exactly what you were doing when you decided you wanted to rip my heart out,” he concluded, his voice so hollow that it made a chill run down your spine.

“W-What should I do, then?” you whispered, feeling desperate. “What should I do?”

All the breath from your lungs vanished in one great swoop when without warning, Baekhyun crushed his lips to yours. 

The kiss tasted of salt and heartbreak, and you melted into it despite everything.

When he pulled away, he was shaking, and you crumpled into fresh tears, unable to look at him any longer. 

“You stopped me, before, from saying what my feelings were,” he breathed. “But you need to hear it now.”

Your heart stopped.

“I love you.”

A numbness bloomed in your veins, your skin, your brain.

“I love you,” he said again, his voice barely a whisper. “And you broke me.”

I’m sorry. I...I love you, too. I’m so, so, so fucking sorry.

But the words were trapped in your chest, suffocating you.

“And that’s what you do, now,” he continued, as if to answer your question. “You live with this. You live with what you’ve done for the rest of your life.”

And then he was pulling away and standing up, his face still etched with so much pain that it crushed your heart into impossibly smaller pieces.

For the second time in one night, you were left alone, with tears streaming down your face, feeling as if the life had been drained out of you. 

You sat there in the darkness as you heard the door slam shut, staring blankly at the ruin around you. 

A ruined room and a ruined girl.

One of which could be fixed, while the other was perhaps broken beyond repair.

The harsh ring of the doorbell woke you up.

You sat up groggily, wincing as you felt slight burning pain across various parts of your body. Upon closer inspection through blurry eyes, you realized rather emotionlessly that some of the shattered glass on the floor had left cuts on your skin.

The doorbell rang again, strangely sounding louder, and you weakly pushed yourself off the floor, your legs numb as you somehow dragged yourself towards the door and mustered enough strength to pull it open.

Your heart jumped to your throat.

It was Kyungsoo.

His face was cold as he registered you, his eyes hovering once over the cuts on your skin, but his gaze indifferent as he pushed past you and into the house.

You barely had any time to grasp what his sudden arrival meant when he spoke, his voice dark.

“Where is he?”

You didn’t have to ask who he meant.

“He’s gone,” you replied hoarsely. “He saw me with you. H-He knows everything, Kyungsoo. It’s over. I-It’s all over.”

As you said it, you felt tears prickle your eyes, and you brushed them away tiredly. You had cried more in the last 12 hours than you had ever cried in your entire life.

At this, Kyungsoo turned to look at you, and though he tried to mask his concern immediately, you saw it flash across his eyes anyway.

“He’s gone?” he asked tentatively. “Just like that?”

“Not quite.”

Baekhyun’s smooth voice made your heart stop, and you snapped your head up to see him descending the staircase, his eyes glinting.

The air grew heavy, suddenly, thick with tension that made your blood crawl. It was so silent for a few seconds that you were certain the other two could hear the hammering of your heart in your chest.

“Tell me, Officer Do,” taunted Baekhyun, his voice low. “How is that leg of yours holding up?”

Kyungsoo’s jaw clenched indiscernibly, his chest rising and falling ever so slightly, as if he was forcing himself to maintain his composure.

“You’re not as smart as I thought, eh?” said Kyungsoo, his voice rough. “I would have expected you to be long gone, by now. It’s out of character for you to still be here.”

Baekhyun pondered over this. “Yes, well. I’ve been doing things ‘out of character’ quite often, these days.” His gaze locked onto yours, the beginnings of a bitter smile on his face. “But of course, you would know all about that too, wouldn’t you Do Kyungsoo?”

Kyungsoo’s nostrils flared. “It took you long enough to figure it out. The great Mr. B, always a step ahead, conned by an amateur police agent. You must be incredibly embarrassed.”

Baekhyun’s posture was lazy as he took a step towards Kyungsoo, his hands in his pockets and an indifferent look on his face. But his eyes had hardened in a way that made your stomach curl.

“And what about you, Do Kyungsoo?” he mused, cocking his eyebrows. “There’s something I’m very curious about.” Kyungsoo remained impassive, even as a dangerous smile played at Baekhyun’s lips.

“What angers you more? The fact that I managed to get away from you three times under your nose,” he paused, his eyes glinting as a muscle ticked in Kyungsoo’s jaw, “Or the fact that I slept with your girlfriend? Do you feel threatened, maybe, because she might have even enjoyed it?”

Everything that happened after was a blur.

Your scream died in your throat as Kyungsoo swung his fist towards Baekhyun’s face, his knuckles colliding painfully with the latter’s jaw as they both stumbled forward.

Kyungsoo’s eyes were alive in a cold rage as he hurled another punch, but this time, Baekhyun was ready for him. He dodged swiftly, his lips twisted in a snarl as the police officer lunged for his collar and yanked him forward. 

“I will break you to pieces,” hissed Kyungsoo, shoving Baekhyun harshly back against the wall, making his head collide with it dully.

You felt removed from the scene, a stranger to the terrible mess despite in fact being at the very centre of it. A horrible nausea was beginning to rise in your stomach, and you swallowed hard as if to force it down.

“Go ahead,” breathed Baekhyun. “I’m already fucking broken.”

He pushed Kyungsoo away roughly, his jaw clenched. “Why are you here, asshole? So desperate to have me arrested that you’re going ahead without a warrant even?”

A chilling sort of smile appeared on Kyungsoo’s face, and it made your blood freeze to ice unexplainably. It was a look you had never seen on him before, and it scared you, suddenly.

“I’m here because I thought I’d make you an offer,” Kyungsoo said, his eyes holding a strange gleam. “It’s quite generous, actually.”

Baekhyun raised his eyebrows.

“You can either surrender yourself, right now, and come with me nice and quietly to the station where we can have a long chat,” said Kyungsoo slowly, and deliberately. “Or, you can keep going. Keep stealing, or whatever. But, this part comes with a catch.”

He let out a breath.

“The next time I see you, I shoot you dead.”

Your eyes widened, your heart missing a painful beat.

“Kyungsoo—”

It didn’t even sound like your voice when you spoke, a weak, pathetic whimper that betrayed your sudden fear.

You were ignored as Kyungsoo continued to stare intently at Baekhyun, who looked thrown for a split second before regaining his indifferent composure once more.

“I assure you, Officer,” drawled Baekhyun. “That I am not going to be that easy to kill.”

“Leave that to me,” cut Kyungsoo calmly. “If you go with option two, that is, I promise you I will be the one overseeing your coffin on its journey back home.”

“Kyungsoo, no.”

Your voice was clearer, this time, and they both turned to look at you, almost surprised that you were there.

“Yeah,” you said bitterly. “I’m still here.”

“Stay out of it,” said Kyungsoo dismissively, his eyes flashing.  “You’ve gone mad,” you said, ignoring him. “Do you even hear yourself? This isn’t you, Kyungsoo. You are not this person, who threatens murder out of rage—”

“Yeah? Then what kind of person am I, exactly?” challenged Kyungsoo dangerously. “The kind of person who’s pathetic enough to let his own girlfriend sleep around with whoever she wants to?”

You stepped back like you’d been slapped. 

“Shut up,” said Baekhyun harshly, taking a step between the two of you, as if some strange sort of shield. “You’re angry, yeah? So take it out on me. Leave her out of it.”

You were too heartbroken to comprehend what this sudden show of protectiveness even meant.

Kyungsoo’s face was cold. “You heard him. Stay out of it, Y/N. You have no right to tell me what and what not to do. Not anymore.”

You blinked back tears.

“Go practice your shooting skills, dick,” breathed Baekhyun, crossing his arms over his chest. “Because I’m not coming anywhere with you.”

Kyungsoo’s voice was rough when he spoke. “Last chance to change your mind.”

“You heard me,” said Baekhyun, tilting his head. “May the best man win.”

“Baekhyun, no—” you stammered, but Kyungsoo was already turning away, his back unforgiving as he stormed out the front door, slamming it shut so fiercely that you felt it rattle your bones.

“I suggest you leave with him,” said Baekhyun roughly, not even looking at you as he turned. “We’re done here.”

“H-He’ll kill you,” you whispered, desperately. “He’s angry, Baekhyun, and he’ll shoot to kill you—”

“Then I’ll die,” cut Baekhyun coldly. “I’d rather die than give him what he wants. I’m not going to fucking surrender.”

“You’re making a mistake,” you quavered, shaking your head. You had the terrible sense that everything was going to get impossibly worse, worse than it already was. “A big mistake—”

“No,” said Baekhyun, a sad smile on his face. “My biggest mistake was falling for you.”

Your ribs constricted painfully, your shattered heart piercing your lungs.

“Now get out,” he said, finally turning away. “I’m not going to say it again.”

You had no choice.

You were forced to walk away from him, tears streaming down your cheeks and your breaths coming in gasps, your mind spinning with the weight of all that had happened. 

And even heavier, even more daunting...the weight of all that was yet to come.

A/N: Ya’ll I finally did it dfsgjhgsfkd I’m so nervous about this pLEASE leave me your thoughts because they would mean a lot after this mentally draining chapter 🤧🤧

#exo #exo scenarios #baekhyun scenarios #kyungsoo scenarios #exo scenario #baekhyun scenario #kyungsoo scenario #exo series #baekhyun series #kyungsoo series #exo reactions #exo imagine #baekhyun imagine #kyungsoo imagine #exo fanfiction #baekhyun fanfiction #baekhyun fanfic #kyungsoo fanfic #kyungsoo fanfiction #baekhyun x reader #kyungsoo x reader #exo angst #baekhyun angst #kyungsoo angst #byun baekhyun #do kyungsoo #exo au series

[ohdeerlings]

mushi hime rant hahahhaahfdsjh

just posting my long-winded summary i typed immediately after finished reading to talk about how bad it was; it ended up a lot longer than i intended and now i feel like i should at least keep what i put effort into typing =___=

so it starts with this guy who's been getting recurring nightmares of a girl who shapeshifts into a monster with a huge mouth and teeth eating him

one day a transfer student comes in and looks exactly like her(already outplayed trope of having dreams for no reason of reality that doesnt ever get explained, and it happens lots of times throughout

)around the same time strange events start happening around town: ex, truck driver found by police with markings of a mass insect attack, dogs and pets all getting attacked by swarms of ants and filling up the vet hospitals

the narrative goes back and forth btwn:

- the guy's (Ryoichi's) POV in class where he's just not approaching her and wary of her bc of his dream; he's Not Like Other Boys who get all horny over her bc she's perfect (beautiful, smart, mysteriously quiet, physically adept)

- and btwn this stereotypically wacky/eccentric scientist who was consulted by the police with the first caseturns out the scientist has been tracking down a series of seemingly unrelated murders that follow a clear path ending at Ryoichi's town

throughout the story there's some not so subtle dialogues about the earth going through global warming and species dying

the scientist spiels to some insignificant characters about how humans arent long for this earth, etc etc and how insects are amazing because of their adaptational abilities

he seems to know the transfer student girl, Kikuchi and is trying to track her down

meanwhile kikuchi is character-developed as some clearly dangerous but morally compromised monster-human hybrid who Only Preys on Bad Guys or people around at the wrong time

she gets hit on by some lecherous perv who asks her to karaoke and she actually agrees

there she straddles him and starts kissing him and then these tentacle things come ouit of her throat and go into his mouth

he slumps over and she leaves

the scientist-investigator duo are closing in on her and find the security camera tapes, from that they get a picture and show it around town to try to locate her

meanwhile Ryoichi is still like wow she's Scary and I'm Not Like Other Boys

then he happens to see her just as the old man from the karaoke bar (who seems to have not been killed and is just stumbling around acting drugged) finds her and attacks her

a fucking needle spike comes out of her arm and she defends herself by stabbing him and puncturing his skull and killing him

he sees all that and shes like well guess you're my hostage now and takes him to his house

she's also attracted to him inexplicably, partially because He's Not Like Other Boys and shes like WHY ISNT HE SECRETING PHEROMONES FOR ME(she can smell that

)then there's a weird "erotic" scene where she forces him onto the bed and deep throats him with her mouth tentacles

then there's just a LOT of dialogue thrown at us at once with the scientist just explaining a shit ton to his investigation partner whose character clearly only exists for hte sake of exposition

turns out he had a colleague when he worked on a super secret gov funded experiment called biosphere 2 where they sealed off a forest and bombed it with radiation and pollution n shit

they found that it endured a lot at first and it was because of the bugs (?) that it did until the bugs disappeared and were nowhere to be found, then the forest just died

they looked around and found mutated bugs sleeping inside the earth

his colleague had a daughter back then with a terminal illness so out of desperation he injected the dna of the mutated insects into her, hoping their resilience would change her body to survive the illness

so she lived but she was clearly not human, farming off of her dad - she wasnt able to produce endorphins anymore so her tentacle things would secrete an enzyme to get hte host to produce lots of endorphins and she would take it, creating a dependency

bc she was the only of her species to exist she felt a need to procreate so she also kept trying to mate with her dad 

then we find out that her dad had an identical twin who was raised by foster parents - and thats Ryoichi's dad, making Ryoichi and Kikuchi technically cousins, and genetically half-siblings

so thats why she was Inexplicably drawn to that town, and to him

she was wandering through japan because at some point her dad tried to kill her for humanity's sake, but bc of a random flood their town was wiped out and he wasnt able to kill her and she disappeared/survived the flood thanks to her ability to mutate in environmental changes

meanwhile she's been keeping him hostage to feed off of his endorphins and creating a dependency in him for the enzymes she would give him

until his mom accidentally comes into his room and sees, then she runs away and dies falling down the stairs lol

then he's all like ytou're a monster!!!!! and she threatens to kill the girl-next-door character in his friend group who seemed to have a thing for him/vice versa

so he's like: ill do anything just spare her!!!! 

so she forces him to answer the door when his friends are like why havent u been going to class and tell them to fuck off/be a dick to them

while theyre walking outside after to go somewhere else the scientist sees the girl (Chiken) and is like hEY you look sad and depressed there's nothing possibly else that could make u feel like that except having your childhood crush abducted by a halfhuman-half locust succubus

he shows her the picture and she recognizes her and leads him back to the house

then he gets a rifle to try to shoot her and theres a whole fight scene where she uses her pheromones to call upon the insects to swarm

ryoichi is useless because he found his moms corpse lying in the bathtub getting consumed by maggots she asked to fully decompose the body

then the scientist gets a couple shots in and fends her off, meanwhile random police get in the way to stop what looks just like a home invasion and she disappears

they take ryoichi into the hospital bc all the endorphin harvesting and brain fuckery has him weak

then ryoichi's dad comes in and is like how do you recognize who i am!! to the scientist who explains

oh yeah that's the point at which we find out ryoichi and kikuchi are related

and then he's still having dreams where she vores him and he's both horrified and wants it

meanwhile entire city is getting swarmed by insects in a disaster scene with society breaking down etc etc

kikuchi tracks them down by following ryoichi's scent (?)

then they have one last battle where they try to use the dad as a distraction bc he looks identical to her dead father

and somehow the scientist just FINDS specific chemicals/enzymes to throw on her and weaken the part of her thats an insect

also earlier before she got there he  whips out the mutant insect dna out of nowhere? like the extremely valuable dna that he should have no business just finding/still carrying around

and is like

hey lets inject ourselves with this because humanity is getting wiped out and attacked by insects rn anyway, the only way to live i sto adapt

but no one does it (lmao pointless inclusion) 

then they defeat her in a big struggle with ryoichi getting farmed on by her again and instead of just taking it has a Miraculous realization past the drugs that oh no this person is killing everyone i love

and CHOMPS on her tentacle thigns while their mouths are connected

scientist injuects her with more random dna he has to compromise her mutant dna and the insect swarming stops bc of the internal biological shit happening and she's writhing oon the ground

then looks like she dies

they try to escape the basement theyve been in because its suddenly flooding (no reason lmfao)

on the way out they get stopped by a teacher that she pricked with her spike earlier on who's been missing from school and his "insect bite" changed his behavior/ultimately made him into a different part human part bug who tries to kill them

then kikuchi who -surprise- hadnt died!@!! shows up again but now she's blond and looks almost exactly like Ryoichi (who is blond) because the thing the scientist injected in her enabled her to adapt to the water and she's still a  mutatn but Less Evil Somehow and he's like i thOUGHT U DIED.... I ACTUALLY LOVE YOU.. 

then epilogue is the scientist goign through his life normally and the city is recovered from the insect swarm and he sees another random global warming thing in the news and is like

“its only a matter of time before humanity perishes, but now is not that time....we're good.............,,,,,,,for now...and i know somewhere underwater something of humanity's legacy will live on”

and it cuts to ryoichi and kikuchi hugging in a very Shape of Water way underwater with tentacle thigns cause they went to live in the ocean

then there s a bad window for a sequel showing the teacher guy - SURPRISE - not actuially dead and crunching on humans in a sewer somewhere

STILL A FUN READ

#summary #review #manga #insect princess #mushihime #mushi hime #trashpost

[orrtala]

Space Family Relationships Analysis Part One

It’s a liveblog! I only finished season two, please no spoilers in the comments/reblogs!

(more character analyses)

(version for mobile users - if you liked the content please like/reblog this post!)

Some of these are short, some are shorter, but overall it’s pretty lengthy so under the cut we go!

Keith & Coran

Sadly there’s not much to go on, but from what we’ve seen Keith respects Coran, and in comic he, along with other Paladins, was absolutely ready to ‘rescue him’. Older Altean is a member of his newfound family just like the rest of them.

Meanwhile Coran looks out for Red Paladin just like for others and unlike Allura was not bothered by his heritage. He was also the one trying to get him away from fighting Zarkon. And there was of course the moment where Coran just barged into Keith’s room looking for one of Allura’s mice (I’m still wondering what did they take from him) and Red Paladin questioned him about Galra potentially being on Earth thinking the Altean would be the best person to know about that.

So as of now we can assume that they do consider each other family, even if they are not the closest to each other. Potential for future interactions? Coran is one of the people who can understand Keith’s loss best. Keith might pilot a Black Lion while Shiro’s gone but he’s still a Red Paladin at heart, and if Alfor is his predecessor, then Coran might have something to say about that. On Keith’s part he could reach to Coran for help with his new role on the team as well as ask him more questions about whatever stuff could come up with a future plot.

They could actually make an interesting duo provided they interacted with each other more. Coran is a quirky father figure of a team who helped Hunk with his character development, tried to poke at Shiro’s worries and make him relax, talked to Lance when wave of homesickness hit him, so why not some interaction with Keith who lost his parents and was lonely for big part of his life? Give them a chance to connect, writers!

Pidge & Allura

Voltron ladies! They… don’t get much screentime together.

Pidge and Allura didn't initially hit off. The introduction to the future Voltron team aside their real first interaction was during dinner which turned into the green goo fight. Altean was pushing them hard, belittled them, shot missiles at them and their Lions, and at the end of the day made them miserable not letting them eat. And Pidge snapped, which is understandable though…

“Oh, the princess of what? We’re the only ones out here and she's no princess of ours!”

…Well. That was rather harsh all things considered. Allura did lose her whole planet, race, civilization, and hearing these words prompted her to send a spoonful of goo right at her head. Keith reacted shortly after and soon everyone were covered in, ah, what they call “food” on the ship and the comment was forgotten after they finally get to properly form Voltron.

In “Fall of the Castle of Lions” upon hearing from mice that Pidge is a girl Allura's initial reaction was “wtq” but soon became “oh yes, maybe I'll finally get some girl talk on this ship”. Aaaaaaand it was pretty awkward. Green Paladin clearly didn't want to talk, offering some information about peanut butter and sweating (unrelated to the peanuts) and tried to escape but Princess insisted on getting information out of her. What she got was essentially “I want to save my father and brother and at least I have a shot at this unlike you” – she was just running her mouth this time and immiedieately asked for forgivness – and “I'm leaving team Voltron.” Yeah, that could have gone better.

During the Castle lockdown they worked together, both determined to save everyone, Pidge running around, destroying sentries, losing Rovers; while Allura told her what to do. After everything Katie decided to stay and told everyone, including the Princess, that she's a girl.

After that not much had happened between them, acting as teammates like with everybody else. There is, of course, a potential for future interaction, given how they both lost people they care about and with Allura becoming a Paladin. There's also a chance for bonding thanks to the Castle's machinery which Pidge is enamored with and Princess knows a lot about. And, well, Katie did wear a dress in a picture, so she might not be averse for some dress-ups, I bet Allura would like that.

Lance & Coran

Lance was the first person who interacted with older Altean and it didn’t exactly go well; Coran attacked Lance and when the Blue Paladin wanted to leave he was rather flippant about Coran, calling him “old man.” Later however Coran took care of him just like of the other Paladins even though they kept irritating him with failing training again and again.

During the party in the Castle the Cuban teenager got homesick, excused himself and Altean followed him. Lance in his Lance fashion opened up and they shared a sweet but also a somber moment where they talked about missing home. After Rover blew up Blue saved Coran’s life (though Coran apparently doesn’t exactly remember this fact) despite knowing him for a little time.

In later episodes they shared little moments. Lance wants to record a siren noise? Go ahead, son. “Lance, you didn’t meet any girls?” Getting the kid into cleaning the pods together, happy to tell him stories from the past and then clearly upset when Blue Paladin seemingly left.

I do expect to see more of these two in a future, Coran is a good person who he could talk about his insecurities (though it seems a little too… easy? But he is a choice here so,) the Altean could share some stories with him and Lance is a good choice if he wanted to find a person who he could share some problems with. Cause sure, Shiro and Allura have problems with opening up to others/don’t want others to know about their trobules but Coran? Most of the time even the audience doesn’t know if there is something that bothers him or not. I could use some more insight and some chat with Lance would be a nice opportunity.

Hunk & Keith

Back in S1 Keith had the least amount of interaction with Hunk when it came to his fellow Paladins. He knew Shiro, made a connection with Pidge, bickered with Lance. Meanwhile Hunk was the guy who, despite having a good read on people accused Keith of being a cold person, but was also the first person to hug him at the beginning and also tried to make sure Keith wasn’t too embarrased (making Keith smile the widest smile so far thanks Hunk.) What I think happened here is that Yellow Paladin not only didn’t have much contact with his Red teammate, but his view on him was most likely tainted by Lance’s opinions. It wasn’t that he didn’t like Keith, but he wasn’t his favourite person either. And Keith isn’t an open person, often coming off as a harsh one and can’t really convey his real feelings.

Then “The Belly of the Weblum” happened and we finally got to see these two in action together. It was right after everyone learned that Keith is part-Galra, Allura was giving him a cold shoulder, and now Hunk was asking him uncomfortable questions. “Hey, so now that you’re Galra you’re like different?” “…I’ve always been part-Galra, nothing has changed.” And, well… Yes and no. Keith is still Keith and Hunk didn’t really knew him that well. But at the same time mullet boy gradually opened up to others and here, he calmed his teammate down (in his own way,) even inititating a psyhical contact by touching his shoulder, and, at the end, praised him. Also attempted to make a joke which was the favorite point of this conversation for Hunk.

During their little adventure, despite not trusting the mysterious Galra Hunk decided to trust Keith’s judgement, though he had his own opinion. After everything was set and down he asked Red Paladin about next moves, again, trusting his decisions.

When Hunk said “I think turning Galra has made you a better human” he meant that he sees Keith for who he is and that Keith has accepted himself as well, that he’s more approachable now. And he trusts him.

I think the creators said that these two are the ‘unusal’ duo in the show, which, sadly, probably means we won’t be seeing them together that frequently. But I’ll be here, waiting, for any future interactions between these two. Like hugs. Hunk is the best hugger, Keith wants hugs. Please, I need it.

Lance & Allura

The first time we meet Allura she wakes up from 10 000 years sleep, falls down and almost breaks her nose if Lance wasn’t there to catch her. She looks up, asks for a name, and… surprising absolutely no one he flirts with her. The Princess in turn gets angry and attacks the newcomer with hideous ears, “How do you have the Blue Lion? What happened to its paladin?” doesn’t understand how he could obtain the Lion. Which is emphasized later, during the Lion assigment. Allura is about to explain Blue Paladin’s qualities, Lance interrupt her with flirty remark and… yeah, she doesn’t look like a person who’s confident with Blue’s choice, is she.

Their interaction consists mostly on flirting. One-sided flirting. But most of the time he tries to lighten up the mood. Everyone is kind of worried when he stumbles out of the pod? “Talking? Eating? Are you asking me out on a date?” Allura huffs and everyone is like “yeah, he’s alright.” Allura is worried about Ulaz? He decides to stay behind with her. Allura thinks she’s responsible for Zarkon tracking them? Flirts with her to distract her.

And Allura for most of the time exasperated, but the only time I can think of where she turned angry is in comics (aside from the pilot, of course,) and one time she actually kind of picked up on the flirting, wanting to go to the mall as well.

Lance, while he might look like a hopeless flirt most of the time respects Allura a lot, absolutely okay with taking orders from her while harboring a crush. And here’s a thing; Lance’s fliritng is what he does, he does it to validate himself, he wants to be liked and Allura is a badass alien gorgeous Princess, what’s not to like here?

Princess is not interested in Lance in slightest, but aside from the beginning where she doubted him (and, let’s be fair, she doubted all the Paladins) she didn’t question his abilities and was friendly towards the guy. And, again, can only think of only two times she was angry at him.

Lance is a person who has set connection with everyone. He’s Hunk’s best friend, Pidge is a part of their Garrison Trio, he interacted with Coran a lot and while there’s a lot of work when it comes to Keith and him it’s obviously set up for better interactions later on. The only exceptions are Shiro (topic for the next post) and Allura. And with Altean piloting Blue Lion and joining the team? There’s a lot they could do together to understand each other better now! Allura as a new Blue Paladin will have to work like Lance at least to some capacity and she could turn to him for some help with that. Working together on field will be a new experience for them both. There could be a point where Allura talks to Lance about Red Paladin’s role, especially if it was her father who used to be one with Lance piloting Red now, although I’m not holding my breath for that. And, of course, there’s a matter of Blue Paladin’s qualities which are technically still unknown. Allura and Coran are the only people in team who have extensive knowledge about that, but it would be much more fitting if the Princess was the one who revealed them.

Shiro & Hunk

At the very beginning Hunk didn’t really know how to approach Shiro, vary enough to be the only one member of Garrison Trio to not shake his prosthetic, alien hand back in the shack, clearly afraid and unsure of it. He does catch on the fact that Shiro the most experienced and safest person around (duh) and thus proceedes to hide behind him whenever someone or something potentially dangerous happens.

In “Taking Flight” Shiro agrees about not letting anyone into the Castle. Sometime after Hunk takes Shiro on a side, and expresses his concerns about Rolo and Nyma. And Black Paladin listens, actually considers his words and explains his viewpoint despite the fact that our resident engineer seemed like a jerk a little bit.

There was also this little sweet moment where Hunk thanked Shiro in lifting Balmerans’ spirits up.

So yeah, there’s not much interactions between them, but from what we’ve seen there’s obvious mutual respect. Hunk, like other Paladins, recognized that Shiro is a leader from the day one, Black Paladin helped him before the character arc kicked in and Hunk gained confidence and stopped hiding behind him.

What I would like to potentially see is Hunk fullfilling his Yellow Paladin duties. Shiro has less interactions with legs than arms and given how Hunk and Lance are the support while Shiro hides his insecurities it’s not accidental. Except Lance kind of seeks Black Paladin and his attention, while Hunk has much more neutral stance here. As a Yellow Paladin Hunk is a good candidate to help Shiro and support him. Lend an ear, make him a plate of cookies, simple stuff like that. It’s just that Shiro would have to be the one ready to open up at some point.

Keith & Allura

We’ve seen them being stuck with each other twice in S1 (in first episode while waiting for other Paladins to come back with Green and Yellow Lions and when Sendak took over the Castle) and yet we’ve barely saw them interact with each other these two times. Though there are other instances where they react to each other through the season. In “Some Assembly Required” Keith wasn’t impressed with Allura pushing them around, was first one to really defy her during the dinner technically starting the goo fight (Keith got up and went about toy prisoners with Lance’s addition -> Coran told him to not speak like that -> Pidge made a comment -> Allura threw goo at the other girl -> “GO LOOSE, PIDGE!” - so thank Keith for a goo fight.) There were small moments, when he was staring and smiling at her in “Return of the Gladiator” and “The Fall of the Castle of Lions”, he ‘defends’ her in the former episode and she talks to him about importance of peace; and in latter she stares in bewilderment at his nunvill drinking and then joined him to protect Arusians. It’s heavily implied they decided on a strategy on dealing with Sendak while standing outside the Castle. Allura gets upset when Keith tries to open Lance’s pod early. He was also worried when she decided to join the team in “Collection and Extraction” and equally upset as others when she got caught.

Keith was the one who suggested leaving her with Galra, but he was clearly displeased by the idea and did it only thinking about bigger picture. And here’s a fun thing:

“You five paladins were brought here for a reason. The Voltron Lions are meant to be piloted by you and you alone. We must fight and keep fighting until we defeat Zarkon. It is our destiny. Voltron is the universe’s only hope. We are the universe’s only hope.” - Allura in “The Rise of Voltron”.

“Or maybe we shouldn’t go on this mission at all. Think about it. We'll be delivering the universe’s only hope to the universe’s biggest enemy.” - Keith in “The Black Paladin”

Keith basically followed what Altean Princess told the humans at the very beginning. What’s more Allura was shocked they rescued her, expecting to be left behind. Also, in a nature of parallel, Red Paladin defends Black Lion from Zarkon (alone) while Princess saves Shiro from Haggar (along with Hunk.)

So after S1 we had some basis for their relationship. Keith seems to care about Allura’s opinion a lot, taking her words to the heart on multiple occasions. Allura values Keith like every other Paladin and despite their few moments of irritation at the beginning they ultimately work together well and are more similiar than one would think.

Then S2 kicked and they got an actual arc together! It started in “Shiro’s Escape” where Keith going along with Allura for the most part about not trusting the Galra, only disagreeing with her at the end, after Ulaz sacrificed himself and he started having strong suspicions about his Galran heritage.

In “The Ark of Taujeer” when they catch each other essentially doing the same thing (except Allura planned on going back while Keith had his belongings packed with him.) Princess falls into his arms, the Paladin tries to lie his way out of this (keyword: tries) and they both ran away together to protect the team (which was a stupid decision but they came back so it’s okay,) had a talk about potentially trusting the Galra, were stuck together in space, and took a ride together in Red Lion.

Then the truth about Keith’s heritage came out and… …I talked a lot about how I understand Allura’s side of things even if Keith didn’t deserve that treatment. The big point here is that Keith suspected something about it and didn’t share it with her while during the pod journey she opened up to him. To add to that if Alfor used to be a Red Paladin as well it’s very probable that having a part-Galra successor was a sore point for her as well. Also she didn’t do much to him except gave him a cold shoulder for quite some time. Sure it was hurtful, especially given Red Paladin’s history with abandonment. She had to come to the right conclusion on her own and that’s what she did! It was a complicated situation and everyone in team recognized this.

Also there was a hug and there’s never enough of those.

They are similiar in many aspects, as proven by their selfless and self-sacrificing actions (sometimes in the same episode to drive the point home.) They both lost parents at some point and had to defy the artificial/vision father. Both value family a lot, both have trust issues and problems with opening to others. Also together they can come up with some bad decisions (the whole running away thing like… don’t do that.)

Of course there are also differences between them. People tend to like Allura, she’s a charming person in general, she grew up loved by everyone, lost her father recently (…well, okay, I know that 10 000 years is a rather long time, but from her perspective it wasn’t that long ago) and tries to be diplomatic, even if in personal relations she tends to fail. People don’t really warm to Keith that quickly, misinterpreting his actions and he’s hardly charming; it seems he lost his parents at earlier point in his life than the Altean Princess, missing the affection for a long time, and usually misses social cues no matter the situation and/or is told to calm down. Allura calms him down when he’s getting worked up.

At this point in their friendship they seem to understand each other in some capacity; if there’s anyone who could understand Keith’s loss now that Shiro’s gone Allura (and Coran, I guess, but next part will be about that) is the best bet. It’s going to be interesting to see them in future, especially given how Allura will be a Paladin and Keith is going to pilot the Black Lion. Though Princess still will be in charge of everything. Also they’re going to work together on the field, fighting.

Allura is also a person who had a glimpse of Keith’s self-doubt about his place in a team, reminding him that they can’t form Voltron without him and when she approaches him in “Best Laid Plans” she essentially tells him he has a family to come back to. So if Keith will have some doubts about that in a future Princess might be the one to recognize the problem.

Another potential plot point the show could take with them is Keith being a Red Paladin after Alfor (if the King was RP, that is.) Sure, Keith is going to be in Black, while Lance is going to pilot Red now, but ultimately we know who’s his real pilot. I can imagine amoment in a future where Allura compares Keith to her late father.

Pidge & Coran

While we didn’t see that much of them interacting they seem to be rather close.

“But I’ve made some great friends along the way. Coran is one of my closest. He’s always been there for me, providing a laugh when I needed it and teaching me so much about the vast universe - and some of it’s true!”

That’s what Pidge thinks about Coran according to the comics (and I didn’t screenshot this quote during liveblog because? I don’t know, clearly I need to rethink my life choices.) And she is clearly emotional about him.

In the show proper we’ve seen them interacting few times (Coran praising and insulting Pidge at the same time in “The Rise of Voltron”,“I have you ranked by height, okay?” Pidge looking at the Castle tech, interested what Coran has to say about it.) In “Eye of the Storm” they work together on the wormholer (although Coran got angry at Pidge mentioning his sickness haha) and I don’t think it’s a stretch to say they operated on Castle’s technology multiple times.

So it seems like unlike the other arm Paladin Katie was totally fine opening up to Coran in some capacity at least, and while there is some potential for future interaction I’m… not getting vibes of getting much here except working together a lot? I could be wrong though. It would be nice to be wrong about that.

Part Two Shiro & Kolivan  Keith & Lance Garrison Trio Keith & Shiro Paladins & Lions

(Garrison Trio, Keith & Shiro and Paladins & Lions will take up seperate posts, I’ll put links here when they’ll be done.)

#lance #pidge #allura #shiro #keith #not liveblogging #orr blogging #non episode #coran #vld character analysis #hunk #vld #voltron legendary defender #voltron #breaking it into two parts cause otherwise it'll never be uploaded #sorry for the long wait but lately i've been coming home either tired or very tired #i call it what if alfor was red paladin part #the second one will be what if he was yellow #sfw

[pardontheglueman]

The Christmas Message

Three sleeps before Christmas, Leigh found herself startled awake in the middle of the night by the utterly impossible sound of falling snow. Leigh knew that this phenomenon couldn’t really be happening, knew that the sensation she felt deep in her bones was inexplicable, that even a million snowflakes, woven into one unfathomably magical snowfall, could never make so much as a single sliver of noise as they settled upon the face of the earth, knew that even the heaviest snowfall is masked by the infinitesimal ticking of the bedroom clock, as it measures out the slow, circuitous, passage of time. Nevertheless, the fact remained: a midnight snowfall had mysteriously disturbed her rest. 

Leigh lay motionless for the longest while. As she listened to the percussive sound of the snow rap against the misted glass of her bedroom window, she sought to persuade herself that the icy drumbeat might be explained away as a simple hail-storm, or by an angular wind rasping against the treetops or, more imaginatively, as the ricochet of white lightening deflected sharply from the rows of smoke-smudged rooftops opposite. Deep down, though, she sensed that there was nothing to disturb the louring night other than the lonesome murmuring of the moonlit snow.  Leigh tried to calm her breathing, to think beyond the strange turbulence outside. Something about the music of the snow thrumming along the power lines had unnerved her. With her eyes squeezed shut, she imagined a plume of incandescent snow spreading beyond her garden, engulfing the whole of the town before disappearing into the darkling night.                                                                                                 

                                Leigh had always loved snow, loved nothing better than to trek playfully across an unblemished landscape first thing of a winter morning. She delighted in leaving her size five footprints on the newly-minted surface while daydreaming of sledding toward the Pole. She liked to see a hard rind of crusted snow packed tight against the windscreens of parked cars, or blown up against the driveways of the expensively furnished houses on Cardiff Road. She liked rolling stupendously large snowballs just for the sake of it, although she sometimes put her hard work to good use by aiming them at unsuspecting snowmen, congratulating herself with an excited whoop each time she dislodged one of the oddly misshapen heads from its roly-poly body. She studied the greened mountains that turned impossibly white between the closing of her eyes last thing at night and their opening again first thing in the morning.  She even ordered the ranks of Christmas cards on the dining room mantelpiece solely with regard to the amount of snow pictured on them, placing those with idyllic, wintry snapshots, even if they were from obscure aunts she had never met, in front of the cartoonish offerings hand-delivered by her best friends. She liked shaking snow-globes furiously until the mini-blizzards she created seemed ready to shatter the glass in her hand..

Leigh believed that snow brought an air of mystery to her drab old town. She believed in the power of snow, like magic, to deceive the eye, to trick the grubby, littered streets of her estate into becoming a vast, white wilderness ripe for exploration and discovery. She loved snow most of all, though, because her father had loved snow. She remembered a night when he propped a kitchen chair against the back door and sat there for hours on end watching the snow falling from a Christmas sky, determined to remain at his sentry post until the flakes dwindled down to nothing or he simply fell asleep, whichever came first. It hadn’t snowed at Christmas for three years, though, and even then it was little more than thin sleet, late on Boxing Day, that had failed to settle. Her mother had let her stay up late that night to see if the snow amounted to anything. They drank milky coffee together and watched in disappointment as the slivers of sleet turned to unwelcome rain.

‘It just doesn’t snow like it used to when I was a girl’, her Mam had observed, looking wonderingly at an old photo of herself perched on her home-made sled with a smile blossoming on her face as big as the Brecon Beacons itself. ‘The most we get these days is a dusting that’s gone before you know it’. ‘Dad always used to say that snow fell like manna from heaven when he was a boy’, Leigh replied, her voice snagging against the still-raw memory of her father’s voice echoing throughout the house.

Sometimes, she asked her mother to tell her about the great snowfall of 1963, when bakers’ vans got stuck in the snow by the dozen and her Grandfather had stupidly got himself lost in a blizzard on his way for a swift pint in Rhydyfelin Non-Pol. Her Grandfather had a soft spot for snow too, especially if it resulted in a whole fleet of 132’s being marooned in the freezing tundra of Maerdy bus station, leaving him unable to get into work for a day or two!                                                                                                                     Leigh, smiling at the memory of those conversations, reached under her pillow and checked her watch, only to find that Old Father Time had somehow nodded off, or that the world had seemingly snowed itself to a standstill. She lay there a while longer, listening to the cold clacking of the snow while summoning up the courage to look outside. When she eventually pulled back the curtain her room was lit suddenly with the luminous glow from an astonishing snowfall that had somehow drifted all the way up to her bedroom window. She looked up at the sky through a tremulous swirl of flakes that ricocheted against each other in the freezing wind and was surprised to see that Eglwysilan Mountain had disappeared altogether behind a fog of snow.

It was then that she looked down into her garden and saw the strangest sight. Her name had been carved deeply into the brittle snow. She blinked in exaggerated fashion a half-dozen times, then let out a thin whistle and a fat giggle, both at exactly the same time; a neat trick that she had only recently perfected, and of which she was still immensely proud! She stared at her name for the longest time, then cŵtched herself into a ball and watched the blizzard blow for another hour, expecting at any moment that her name would vanish forever under the rushing of the snow. Instead, her name became cemented in the blue ice, shining crystal clear in the snow-light. She imagined God, in his heaven, looking down and reading her name out to the angels. She imagined her father doing the same.

For a while, soon after his passing, Leigh had spent her evenings in her father’s old room, leafing through rows and rows of his books in an attempt to rekindle her memories of him. She was disappointed, though, to find no trace of his daft sense of humour sandwiched between the yellowing pages of ‘The Great Gatsby’ or ‘Tess of The D’Ubervilles’. She felt there was nothing in either book that was revelatory, nothing that offered a new clue to his character, nothing at all that would stop her memories of him from evaporating with the passing years.  

When dawn broke she dressed, sprayed on the last drops of her White Musk perfume and went to stand quietly in the centre of the garden. The snow continued to fall heavily about her and it became impossible to see the sky through the kaleidoscope of snowflakes that dappled the air. Because it was Saturday she’d let her mother lie in and, anyway, she didn’t feel like talking to anyone, not to a single person on earth. She was transfixed by the message in the snow. What could it possibly mean?  There was no rational explanation for it. She had understood that much immediately. 

Nobody, not even the class clown Martin Pryce, who had been nursing a crush on her since primary school, would be crawling around her Antarctic garden in the middle of the night trying to sculpt a declaration of undying love into the freezing snow. For a while, she considered the possibility that the word etched into her garden was supposed to be sleigh and that the letter S had been lost in the drifting snow. However, that seemed an even more ridiculous explanation. It was more magical, more mysterious than that, she was sure of it. What else could explain her name still being preserved there, throughout an endless snow-squall?                                                                     

Leigh decided not to tell her Mam about the bizarre message. Instead, she took refuge in her room, making up an excuse that she was having a Christmas Movie day - a triple-decker of It’s A Wonderful Life, Miracle on 34th Street and Muppet Christmas Carol. She spent the day, though, mostly watching the unrelenting snowfall, her thoughts drifting off into the dreamy whiteness outside her window. Inexplicably, her name did not vanish but remained firmly embedded in the snow. Exhausted by a mixture of worry and excitement, Leigh fell asleep before supper. 

When the sunlight fizzed between the blinds, catching the girl a glancing blow across the temple she stirred and began, at once, to remember the mystery of the snow. She rolled across the bed and raised the blinds. The snow had continued to fall between the constellations the whole night long and now, in the fresh snow, underneath her name, the words ‘BE MERRY’ had been chiselled into the pallid surface. Someone, somewhere, was sending her a message.  She was unsurprised when she began to cry. She felt a surge of loneliness sweep through her body and lodge squarely behind her eyes. She waited a long while for the redness around her eyes to melt and for her headache to simmer down before attempting breakfast. She picked up a handful of mail, blotted with fresh snow, from the rumpled doormat and yawned her way into the kitchen. She made herself a coffee and a boiled egg. She thought hard about telling her Mam about the message in the garden. She pictured an uneasy smile spreading over her Mam’s face mid-explanation. Her Mam had a lopsided sort of smile that occasionally hung about the corners of her mouth a fraction too long as if it didn’t know where to go when the fleeting moment of happiness that had prompted its surprised appearance had passed. She looked at the boiled egg and grinned, the half-hacked shell dangling over the edges of the eggcup reminded her of one of her mum’s sad, unfinished smiles.

She retreated, instead, to her bedroom with the intention of listening to her father’s favourite festive record, ‘Christmas Greetings with Perry Como’, an album that was played faithfully in the run-up to Christmas each year. She didn’t play the record, though, preferring to sit in silence while watching the crumbling snow slip through the cracks of a gloomy sky.  Eventually, she drifted off to sleep in the pale shadow of the snow, as the pleasant voices of carollers exchanging their Merry Christmas’ carried across the town’s snow-cusped streets. When Leigh went downstairs for her tea she found her mother writing Christmas Cards and listening to “Fairy Tale of New York”. Her mother had a tear in her eye, which she quickly blinked away.

‘Can you believe it’s still snowing?’ her Mam asked. ‘What’s the forecast say, Mam?’ ‘It’s a bit strange, love. They say it’s stopped snowing everywhere, but right here. I can’t really account for it!  It’s raining down the road in Nantgarw, and your Nan says it’s been tipping down in Pentre all day too. It seems that good old Ponty is the only place in the whole of Wales that’s set for a white Christmas this year!’   Leigh sat down by her Mam’s side ‘Mam, were you crying because of Dad?’ Leigh asked, quietly. ‘It’s okay, love, it’s just the time of the year. I should be getting used to it by now’. Leigh gave her mum’s hand a squeeze. There is no getting used to it, though, is there, she thought to herself. ‘Do you remember any of Dad’s Christmas stories, Leigh?’ ‘There were so many, Mam - ‘Rudolph’s Ruined Reputation’, where Rudolph, of all reindeer, got himself lost on another foggy Christmas Eve, ‘The Golden Key’, where the key for the toy factory went missing just as it was time to load up Santa’s sleigh, and then there was ‘Heatwave’, where unusually clement weather threatened Christmas!) They both laughed out loud. ‘The course of Christmas never did run smooth, Mam.’ ‘But there was always a happy ending, Leigh’. Santa always got that sleigh off the ground in the end and there were always presents under the tree. Your Dad cherished his childhood Christmases, he wanted you and your sister to feel the same way’. Leigh gave her Mam a long hug, which was her way of trying to fend off the familiar sadness that clouded over her when she talked about her father. ‘You just missed Louise on the phone. She’ll be arriving around six if the trains are on time’. Leigh was only half-listening to the news of her older sister’s Christmas plans. She was still thinking of her father.

   Her Dad had loved everything about Christmas; from opening the first door of his Advent calendar on the 1st of December to singing Auld Lang Syne at the top of his voice at midnight on the 31st and anything remotely Christmassy that went on in between. Each year his ritual would be the same; re-reading A Christmas Carol on his commute to and from work, decorating the tree to the sound of Perry Como’s “Home For The Holidays”, highlighting his favourite festive films in the bumper edition of the Radio Times, taking us to see Father Christmas switch on the Taff Street lights and even to meet him in person, usually in Caerphilly Garden Centre, or, in later years, when the old gent seemed to be going up in the world, in his very own grotto in Ynysanghard Park!  For Leigh, Christmas simply hadn’t been Christmas since her dad’s passing. For sure, she still liked Christmas, but it was just that she couldn’t bring herself to love it anymore.                                                        

To stop herself from thinking, Leigh went out into the street to inspect the snowmen along her road. Some, it had to be said, were pretty poor specimens, but there they all stood; bellies haphazardly bloated by the whisking snow. She couldn’t help but laugh at their inelegance, clad as they were in ill-fitting Santa hats and threadbare scarves. Most had carroty noses that jutted out from king-sized heads and scraggly branches of uneven length for arms. She watched a family; a mother and father, two girls, one around her own age, and a very small boy move their belongings into the house opposite. As the children carried their small cases back and forth up the snow-chalked driveway she waved in their direction. They gladly returned her gesture, the boy wishing her a Merry Christmas at the top of his voice. She felt cheered and, without noticing, began to murmur a song her Dad would sing to her at Christmas when she was very small -

‘Christmas Day is on its way It’s time for Kris Kringle Through the hush of a starry night You can hear his sleigh bells jingle’

She tried to recollect the rest of the song but could only bring to mind the chorus

‘Good old Santa, Good old Santa Claus What’s yours is mine, what’s mine is yours You’re a good old Santa Claus’.

She stayed in the street for a very long time because she sensed that the crisp evening air was somehow redolent with the fragrance of Christmas. A change in the direction of the wind blew a puff of snow into her eyes, so she huddled back in the doorway, watching a sluggish convoy of snowploughs wind through the neon-lit lanes, until the wintry night began to close in, and she could see her breath unspool in the starlight.

Louise was only 10 minutes late. She came in carrying a suitcase and a bag of presents, singing “Home for the Holidays” so boisterously that she scared the neighbour’s cat off the relative warmth of the windowsill and out onto the cold lawn. You always knew when Louise was home from University, because the quiet house would suddenly be filled, room by room, with the sound of her enthusiastic singing. Leigh gave her sister a cŵtch and helped her stack the presents under the tree before blurting out, ‘Come and see the garden, college girl’ I’ve seen enough snow for one day, Leigh’ ‘There’s something out there I want to show you’ ‘It’s too cold and I’ve just got these boots off’ joked Louise ‘Okay, come to my bedroom, you can see from the window’ They raced each other upstairs and jumped on the bed. Louise pulled up the blind and waited for Louise’s reaction. ‘Uh, okay, you’ve written your name in the snow. It’s mad, Leigh, you must have frozen out there, How many hours did it take you? ‘I didn’t write it’ ‘Mam then, how long was Mam out there’? ‘Mam doesn’t even know it’s there. It just appeared, overnight. It’s snowed solidly for twenty-four hours but it hasn’t swept the name away. If it snowed for twenty-four days and twenty-four nights, it still wouldn’t. It’s magic, Louise, or a miracle, or something. I heard it fall, too, Louise, that first night the snow actually woke me, me of all people! It’s not ordinary snow. It can’t be’.

Louise felt Leigh’s hand tighten in hers, as they continued to watch clusters of snowflakes quake and tremble in the wind. 

                                                                    Louise lay on the bed and Leigh cŵtched up to her until their mum called them for supper. After Louise had told them, at great length, how rehearsals for ‘A Christmas Carol’ were going - she was playing the part of Fred’s wife (again) - she put on her duffle coat and went into the back garden. The skyline and the snowfall were an indistinguishable grey. The words were still engraved on a slab of settled snow, clear and visible until the streetlights dimmed, one by one, and night fell over the white gardens of the Valley.

In the morning, while Leigh slept, Louise went again to look at the message. The snow still fell in abundance. She looked for the longest time and a tear settled in the corner of her eye. When she went inside she woke her sister gently and brought her a breakfast of tea and toast. ‘There are more words. Look and see’.

Leigh peered through the frosted pane and the glimmering snow falling over the garden. The message had been added to again during the night, but now seemed complete. LEIGH BE MERRY CHRISTMAS AND FOREVER XXXX

Leigh said nothing. She sat at the window, brushing her long, brown hair, while staring out at the marbled garden. A cool riff of wind blew a dusting of flakes from the old, ice-capped, willow trees that rimmed the lawn.       Louise said quietly ‘Come downstairs when you’ve finished, I want to show you something’. When Leigh came down she saw her sister sitting at the dining room table surrounded by a stack of Christmas Cards ‘Louise, it’s too late to be sending cards. It’s Christmas Eve, though we can pop one across to the new family opposite. ‘They seem very nice’.  ‘These cards have already been sent, to you, to me, and to Mam, a long time ago. Come and read them’ Leigh picked up a Christmas card that showed a small cottage in the snow, with a Christmas robin in the foreground. She opened up the card. Inside, in her father’s untidy handwriting, was a declaration to her mum To Karen, Be Merry, Christmas and forever Love, Gary XXXX Louise handed her another card that showed a jolly Santa flying his sleigh through the thickening snow at the pole To my Darling daughter Becky - Leigh BE MERRY Christmas and forever xxxxx Dad P.S, only seventeen days to go!!!!

Leigh sorted through the cards, they were all written by her Dad and they were all signed off the exact same way. Tears burnt her eyes as she read and re-read them, trying to picture her father saying the words ‘Don’t you remember, Leigh, Dad always used to say that ‘Be Merry, Christmas and forever’ ‘It can’t be Dad, Louise. You know it can’t ‘. ‘I’m sure it is. Who else would write it? We should show Mam’. ‘No’, shouted Leigh, and ran upstairs crying. For what seemed an age she stared blankly through the window at the message written in the midst of the immeasurable snow.                                                                   Before lunch, Leigh put on her favourite Christmas jumper (Santa shaking hands with a snowman), her matching hat and scarf and went into the garden. The rooftops remained cloaked in snow, and the sky was shrouded in a frail mist. Snow continued to fall about her as she walked toward the message. Leigh reached down to touch the snow, tracing her hand along the powdered groove of the first letter. As she crumbled the stone-cold snow between her fingers she began to tremble and her heart started to jitterbug crazily inside of her. Visions of her past, present and future went bobsleighing before her big brown eyes and she started to swoon. She fell backward, arms outstretched, into the snow and lay there flat on her back. Her mother happened to glance out of the kitchen window, at precisely the time Leigh crash-landed in the snow. Her mum smiled; making a snow angel was such a cool thing to do she thought as she carried a tray of mince pies toward the oven.

As Leigh lay motionless, visions began to swirl about her like cascading snow; she saw herself first as a child, being raised high by her Dad, to deposit a golden star on the top of their Christmas tree; then she saw her teenage self being chased around the garden by her Uncle, who just happened to be carrying an armful of heavy-duty snowballs. Suddenly, she was walking up the aisle to be married, and at Christmas too! One of her bridesmaids was the girl who had just moved in across the street, the other with bobbed rose-gold hair, was her sister. The groom looked handsome and, indeed, somewhat familiar. Leigh couldn’t entirely dismiss the sickening possibility that it was Martin Pryce, her unrequited Romeo from junior school. A hard-edged breeze jostled snow shavings loose from the overhanging branches and the flakes fell like confetti upon the couple as they walked hand in hand toward their wedding car.

Then she could hear the voices of children, echoing across a snow-frosted mountain. Twin girls, who looked the spit of her sister, and an older boy, were sledding down an alabaster slope. The boy turned toward her and shouted ‘are you watching, Mam?’. She looked carefully at the lively boy as he smiled, and there really was no mistaking that smile. She’d seen it time and again in family albums – it was her father’s smile, the one captured in her most treasured photo of her dad pulling a small dinghy through the green shallows of Tenby’s South Beach, a bountiful smile broadening across his face, frozen forever in time. The small boy, battling his way through the bone-sapping snow had the exact same purposeful smile as his late Grandfather.

‘I’m watching, Ga’, you’re super- brave’.  She heard her answer ferried back on the breeze and felt a cheery glow as the boy responded by thrusting his gloved thumbs up into the whitening air. He held the pose long enough for his mother to document his triumph over Mother Nature and then re-launched himself onto his sled and whooshed back down the snow-flossed slope for the hundredth time. Then she was awake, terribly cold and confused by the sight of her mother and her sister bending over her, trying to lift her gently from the clasp of the snow. She remembered nothing of the flurry of visions, but she was aware of an intense feeling of well-being and the pleasant warmth of absolute happiness spreading over her as she looked into the concerned face of her big sister.                                                                                   That night it had stopped snowing, as she somehow knew in her heart that it must. Soon the snow would start to thaw, gradually thinning into clumps of slush to be kicked haphazardly against the kerbsides by bands of small boys making the streets playable for the traditional Boxing Day footie matches that would spring up out of nowhere. Coal-grey rain would soon resume its routine dominance of the valley landscape, washing away the snow for another year. Leigh woke early on Christmas Day to find that the message had disappeared sometime in her sleep, but she was not saddened by the discovery. As dusk fell, she stood in the garden to better hear the Christmas bells ring out and to look up at the night sky and the braille of bluish stars that divined a pathway through the heavens leading, she felt certain now, from one world to the next.

In the turmoil of the last few days, her memories had become unmoored, had drifted dangerously in the cross-currents between the past and the present. She had, though, discovered a precious secret in that journey between the distant poles of life and death. The becalming knowledge that as we seek to make our way in this world memory can grant us safe passage, and provide us with a place of sanctuary in which to rest until the storms of unimaginable loss finally blow themselves out. 

Leigh knew, then, the true meaning of her father’s Christmas message. Knew, deep down in her soul, that the communion between father and daughter would last forever. Knowing that was so, Leigh fell in love with Christmas and with life all over again.

The End

[poetobservationz]

Complexities are not always yours to untangle

My blog is specifically for me. I hesitated before I put this down, but this is my truth. And I need to figure certain patterns and issues out within myself. So maybe this serves as a content warning. But you are welcome to continue. 

I am growing up and need to write this. 

Also, disclaimer, if you are coming here not expecting to read about yourself somewhere you simply don’t know me. 

 When I was 14, in 8th grade, I fell for the wrong type of guy. 

Now for context, in 8th grade, I had insecurities that nearly sunk me. I was chubby, had acne, braces, the whole thing. My appearance made me sad, but I focused on other things as best I could. I became the matchmaker of my 8th grade. That is not an over-exaggeration. I paired people together and helped them “get over” the awkwardness that puberty and middle-school exacerbate in dating. I loved doing it. I seemed to have resigned to never be loved, and just have others be in love around me. I lived vicariously through my friends, begging for details, took up fingers on the mission of texting buddies, chatted on facebook, made calls, and loved hearing about “love”. And sure, it was naive to think or feel any certain way about it, but that is the beauty of being 14. You know you are naive, but it is your world and all you know and all of the sudden hormones are thrown into it and nobody knows what is happening but it is terrible and lovely at the same time. 

I was enthralled by the drama and updates. And I worked to find solutions. I sat down with arguing friends, disputing partners, even enemies with the intention that I would help. 

I listened to the depressed classmates, taking their calls at 3 am till my sister begged me to shut up. 

I wanted connection so badly. It wasn’t like I didn't have friends. I was friends with everyone. But it seemed to me that conflict brought something more real, more raw, more human, that the daily more digest-able lunch-table conversations didn’t dare go. People would, brick by brick tell me everything. Their secrets would be whispered in hushed voices over paper-mache in art class, or stuffed in notes in my locker. 

Everyone else wanted connection, too. 

But I didn’t see it that way when I was 14. 

When I was 14 I thought, perhaps as a less evolved version, that people felt like they could tell me their deepest darkest secrets because I asked. 

I didn’t realize people never asked the questions I asked. 

I didn’t realize that the reason people answered was because nobody had asked them about their pain and hurt. 

I didn’t realize I was any good at making people feel comfortable or like they could trust me. 

I didn’t realize that for a lot of people, I was all they had. 

No, indeed all this knowledge came way later; when, people would reach out and say something to me about it. But, that is a story for another time. 

My curiosity grew from this.

 And in the winter of 8th grade, I was introduced to a boy who was everything my young, hopeful, determined brain and heart could imagine psychoanalyzing. He was 2 years older than me and didn’t go to the public school systems because he had severe psychological issues. 

I was immediately and seemingly irrevocably fascinated. He was pursuing my friend who I’ll refer to as “K”. She brought me along to all their covert, strange, twilight late meetings. He would remain a mystery and just sort-of avoid all direct conversation, usually be commenting to his friend that would always accompany him. 

I couldn’t get him off my mind, but I was strict with myself, after all, this glowing example of a human being K had dibs on. 

Also, I never thought he’d be interested in me. 

He was a mess of contradictions. He would express how desperately he wanted to connect with someone but then his face would go dark and he’d shut down. He would claim he was still in love with his ex and then say he loved someone else. He would tell me he wanted to hang out and then disappear. 

Now I recognize he was sick. But at the time, my mystery fascination and unrelenting sense of safety produced a set determination for me to figure him out and help him. 

I thought I could save him. I even told him I wanted to figure him out. He made some sort of bet with me, which years later he’d admonish that I had won. I had cracked his oh-so-impossible code. 

But it wasn’t easy. He made it very difficult. He played a good game. 

Anyway, during that winter, he told me that he liked me over K. He told me dibs were stupid. I told him I’d never kissed anybody romantically (spin the bottle didn’t count). I thought that would make him less interested because he had repeated several times how experienced he was. His virginity was lost when he was 13. I didn’t tell him I was allowed to date. My mother had been saying since 7th grade that I couldn’t date till I had a job. With that in mind, and with the first boy in my entire life expressing romantic interest in me, I went out and got a job. 

I had no context for the way I was supposed to be treated. No real world examples. Nothing overtime that which could give me a real sense of anything substantial. My dad died when I was 6, and my single mother was the example of a strong, single woman. 

You can see how easy it must’ve been, huh? 

I was excited by the idea of being pretty to someone. I told K what he had said to me, and discovered at this point she was over him. 

He didn’t talk to me for an entire week. 

It never occurred to me that this was very abnormal behavior. He was posting on facebook, interacting, but never responded to me. I thought I had done something wrong and started freaking out. I freaked out all week, silently. My friends heard nothing from me about it. Many of them had no idea I had a crush at all. 

The few who did did not like him. 

When he finally responded he invited me and my friend, Sarah, over. 

He wouldn't let us into his house, so Sarah walked over to the window he was behind and knocked on it. He came running after us with a knife. 

Smoking a cigarette. 

I was terrified. I was also fascinated. 

He apologized over text, it had been a long day. It was okay, love is complicated, I replied. 

He responded then, the most dreaded response I could receive from him: 

“k”

He did this on purpose. He would reply “k” for a couple days, usually. I would grow quieter around friends, make myself small, avoid conversation. I became very depressed. Something very few people in my life know. 

He told me to hang out with him when he knew I had plans with other people, and then he suggests we break up if I couldn’t come. 

I started hanging out at home till he texted me. 

He would ask me to come over, I would excitedly skip to his house, a good 3 miles away, and then he would tell me to leave when I got there. 

When we would hang out he would try to pressure me to do things I didn’t want to do. And I would be confused, did he not love me? Or did I not love him? Why would he not take “no” for an answer? 

I desperately wanted to love him. And I wanted him to love me. I tried so hard to make love happen. 

Sometimes when I think back to this time, I imagine my 14-year-old self, so willing to do anything for this boy, so truly committed, so eager to please him. I wanted more than anything to understand him. He knew this and used it against me. 14 is young. You don’t yet know myth vs fact for a lot of things you hear, you don’t know how to care for yourself, or how to ask for help, or when even. I read books like the Twilight Saga, and Gossip Girl. I watched American Idol. I listened to Green Day to feel edgy. I was innocent. Almost annoyingly so. 

And I promise you, I believed the world and its inhabitants were inherently good. 

One day, he decided he was going to get what he wanted or else we would break up. 

I begged him do not break up with me. I told him I loved him. I cried and tried to hug him but he pushed me away. He laughed at me crying and rolled his eyes. 

He broke up with me because I wouldn’t have sex with him. 

And then he tried to have sex with me. 

He took my pants off, and I quietly asked him to stop, shy and afraid of heartbreak. He ignored me till I was crying. 

Then he told me to stop crying. 

He told me we were over after that, then made out with my best friend in front of me who had come to walk home with me. 

He was slick like that. 

And then the boy who made me walk to him every day, only to be turned away 80% of the time, ran after us and asked for my friend's number. 

He was charismatic for the first time in ages. Suddenly I realized how broken his brain was. But then, I couldn’t think anymore. 

He pulled a cigarette out and smoked it. My friend didn’t even know he had been my boyfriend 20 minutes earlier. I felt blank. It was the last and first time I ever felt this sensation. 

I had just been raped and I had no idea. 

I was in shock.

He walked us to my home, and my friend happily decided to hang out with him instead of coming along with me. 

I went home and into bed even though it was still the early afternoon. 

I slept for 14 hours. 

Then, I started cutting myself. 

I still remember it like it was yesterday. I woke up from the long rest and wanted to die. I felt guilt, and self-disgust and hatred. 

I looked at myself in the mirror and instead of sadness, which I usually felt, I felt hatred. 

It is crazy to think I had no idea what was happening to me happened to so many other people. But I was also 14. Some people go through this way later in life, even recognizing it then is difficult, I guess. 

But the only thing that made sense at the time was taking it out on my body. I wanted to die, but that was so complicated. My body felt disgusting and as I showered I wept, but not tears, hating my own nakedness. I remember thinking how the sensation of crying was similar to that of cutting and bleeding. 

The hurt felt good. It also somehow felt stronger than crying. It became my stronghold. It made me feel in control. My self-hatred and self-disgust were overwhelming but I could almost quiet it with marking myself. 

When I wanted to die really badly, I would think about my family. More fighting had happened since my break up, and nobody knew why. 

I burned myself and would illicit any sort of pain I could find. 

I wanted to die. 

But I couldn’t do it to my family. Even though I wanted nothing more for myself. 

I didn’t understand what happened till 12th grade in health class. Sexual assault was defined for me, and the memories I had worked very hard to repress came flooding back as if the spell of my shock had been lifted. 

I sobbed in the bathroom, and kissed my wrists (long healed), and felt the weight of the world lift off my shoulders. 

I wasn’t crazy. I was just a little broken. And now I had a name for my monster. 

And I was not going to lose. 

And I didn’t. 

[transcarcinization]

i just watched My Life As A Villianess: All Routes Lead To Doom! or HameFura, and like.

first of all, i have decided i really like isekai, based entirely off this and ascension of a bookworm. fantastic genre. never want to see a male-led one

second, the concept is stellar. it’s an isekai, but it’s basically a bi harem anime where the main character DOES NOT REALIZE she has a harem because she’s so preoccupied with the isekai part. are most harem animes like this? i do not watch harem anime

third, it’s one of the nicest animes to watch ive seen in a long time, because i was waiting the whole time for them to pull the rug out from under me and go PSYCHE! THESE WOMEN AREN’T GAY AND YOU’RE INSANE FOR THINKING SO! the girls in the show are just, attracted to women, and besides the protagonist seemingly being a little oblivious that women can be gay, it’s treated totally normally within the narrative.

HOWEVER, the little perfect bubble i had in my head WAS horribly destroyed by the show for something completely unrelated, which i’m gonna put under a cut

the protagonist of the show has an adopted brother her age. i’m incredibly attached to sibling relationships, so i was very excited, also, i don’t like romance much and sibling characters often provide a respite in romantic tv

you can probably tell where this is going, but it IS implied that he’s in love with her. there’s two scenes (the worst one is in an episode that can be completely safely skipped and still understand the plot, and i recommend doing so if you want to watch it, it’s the one where they all go to the library) and the other one is a wayward comment by a side character that her brother is in love with her along with the rest of the cast. honestly, this is not as bad as some shit anime pulls, bc i just blanked out those two scenes from my mind and he otherwise reads like just a kinda overprotective brother.

this was obviously crushing bc he was one of my favorite characters and also kind of reads as gay (he shows basically no attraction to women at all and gets extremely evasive whenever it’s brought up) and like. man. anime why do you do this to me

what annoys me so much about it is like. i was genuinely really excited bc they managed to convince me they WERENT going to go there. and then they did. for two scenes. together they’re like less than two minutes. and yet i have to know it exists

i ended up completely ignoring the library episode (to clarify, he doesn’t make a move on her or anything, it’s complicated) and pretending the side character was just reading their relationship wrong.

has anyone made a cut version yet actually? you could totally cut it into a perfectly normal show without.... that

i’m pissed

#incest tw #i’m mad bc like...... i really wanna love this show #it’s genuinely what i always want from shows and never get #gahhhhh #hamefura

[jordanbstudentlion]

Vision

My mom, a self-proclaimed social justice warrior, went into labor in the middle of The Million Man March on October 16th, 1995. Unable (and possibly unwilling) to leave she stayed in totality, calling my dad hours into labor to tell him to meet her at the Washington Hospital Center.

My sister's names are Nyah and Taylur. Nyah is named after a character in Mission Impossible and Taylur is named after my third-grade bully. My dad and stepmom gave me the ability to name my second sister but I wasn’t happy with how the first one turned out and wasn't looking forward to another. Therefore, I named her after the only enemy I had at 8 years old.

I have had one stepmom and three stepdads. My favorite stepdad's name is Kenny. He helped me learn how to fix my car, pitch a tent, and still sends me birthday money. My mom and Kenny separated three years ago. Sabrina, my stepmom, has been married to my dad since I was 3. She is the most religious person in my life. She is hesitant to be authoritarian in my life however she has always been firm in my going to church.

I had three options in going to undergrad: Howard University,  Louisiana State University, and George Mason University. I hated all of my options at the time but picked George Mason University. I had a good 4-year experience but would approach the application process for undergrad differently a second time around. I joined a sorority. Going greek both matches and clashes with my personality. I quickly became a leader in my chapter and loved having a say in the comings and goings of a small 100+ army of young women. However, working cohesively with a small 100+ army of young women can be exhausting just as much as it is exhilarating.

When I was in high school I was bullied from middle through high school. To combat this my mom sent me to a leadership camp called the National Student Leadership Conference (NSLC).  It was only a 9-day program but I have since worked for that same organization and it has become a big part of my life.

However this summer I hated my boss. He was manipulative and phony. I never knew what he was thinking and it threw me off from the first day. He would talk about people behind their backs and then smile to their faces. I hated it. But the organization is my favorite and something I want to grow in but it sucks because now I have to grow in it alongside him. So not only do I hate him, I can’t get away from him either.

Although I named my sister after my third-grade bully, my true arch nemesis from my youth was Rachel Fox. She lived directly behind me and made my life hell in the 7th grade. I was scared of her and she knew it but in true teen girl fashion, I called her my friend. Our “friendship” climaxed when she pushed me down an icy flight of stairs and my mom threatened to call the police. Unrelated to the stairs, she is in jail now.

The most at stake for me in my youth was my self-esteem. I wasn’t comfortable in who I was and felt out of place no matter where I went. There isn’t a cure-all for feeling unwanted, unfortunately. I was awkward and thankfully awkward becomes quirky when you hit your twenties. I am trying my best but sometimes that low self-esteem creeps back in. I have a feel-good folder full of reasons I should be happy. It's incredibly cheesy but it works. It includes pictures and letters from friends. I started compiling it in high school and its worked thus far.

My parents separated before I was born and they have been bickering since. Stories of my childhood are always hazy because they come from two very different yet skewed perspectives. I spent equal amounts of time in each household. I feel that I am an equal dose of each of my parents. One part cynical from my dad, one part hippie from my mom. They are both abrasive, a trait that seemingly skipped me. I feel laid back and I often lack the bark necessary to stand up for yourself. I have to quite literally give myself a pep talk to talk in public spaces sometimes. But then on the other hand sometimes my mouth won’t shut. Sometimes I like to identify which traits belong to my mother and which traits belong to my father. After accomplishing something socially bold I’ll think, “That was a Kim trait,” and then after doing something mildly offensive but career progressive I’ll think,” How Keith of me.” Is that weird? Awkward? Quirky?

I once studied abroad in Ireland for one month. I hated it. It rains all the time, and there aren’t many people of color, which isn’t new to me but the Irish like to ask you about being black. It’s a hefty conversation to have with a total stranger but to each their own. I was taking a class in creative writing while there and when I was in class I was thriving. Other parts? Not quite. My class was made of students from my undergrad and each of them had such bold personalities I feel confident that I could create hundreds of characters stemming from them alone. One girl ran off with the bartender at our hotel during the first night and another was in color guard but insisted on practicing in public places and during our tours; This same girl also owned a wolf. Not a necessary fact overall but occasionally I scroll past her and her wolf on social media and still jump at the idea.

On my 10th birthday, my mom drove me all the way to my dads, two hours away to celebrate and he never showed up. He later told me that I never got back to him if I wanted to have a party. Most 9-year-olds have terrible phone etiquette so I am not surprised. I sobbed the whole ride back. So loudly that I didn't hear my mom planning an impromptu party in the front seat. She invited a fury of people. Anyone who would come and was available: Our landscaper, my Sunday School teacher, and our hairdresser. The party included pinning the tail on the donkey, cake, and even goody bags. I  have zero clues how she put together a good time in such a short time. I rarely ask because when I do I can’t help but remember that on the flip side my dad ditched me.

I recently watched a Netflix movie called To All The Boys I Loved Before where the main character writes love letters to her crushes. Of course, this launched me into wondering who I’d write my own love letters too and I can narrow it down to three truly significant romantic loves. One was in high school, one in college, and one this summer. All three were relatively significant in my life, however, I still feel weird saying it aloud. I’ve learned that I fall in love easily. If you’re looking to satisfy someone with the bare minimum? I’m your girl. I learned that I am forgiving in all the wrong ways. I am not quick to forget the shortcomings of my loved ones but more so unwilling to have the hard talks that come with addressing them. It could be that I am still coming down from the cheesy fumes of the rom-com but I resonate with the main character Lara Jean. She is cautious and overthinks. But that overthinking leads to wild imagination. She is by far my most positive character whom I feel a kinship with.

I also think I relate to Evan Hansen. Quirky, overall overlooked but fun guy. Depressed but in that joking, I don’t want people to catch on that I hate myself way. Just like Charlie Bartlett, He is deep in his own feelings and despair but manages to fool the whole school into thinking he’s got it together. His character also makes close relationships with a majority of the other characters however still feels a lack of belonging. Charming, quirky, but still lonely. And lastly, a character I have related to since my youth has been Courage the Cowardly Dog. He Courage was scared all the time of everything, and he had every right to be. Aliens and Monsters are nothing to joke about! However, he still went through whatever task he needed to accomplish in the episode and ultimately his owners never noticed his ever-growing anxiety. I am anxious about a lot but I know that at the end of the day I am going to keep pushing myself towards the tasks I need to accomplish. I also feel as though others cannot see my own insecurities and that is how I would prefer to keep it. In terms of importance to me, I order these characters as follows: Courage The Cowardly Dog from Courage The Cowardly Dog, Evan Hansen from Dear Evan Hansen, Charlie Bartlett from Charlie Bartlett, Lara Jean Song Covey from To All The Boys I Loved Before.

Four public figures that I have a kinship with include: Sarah Polley, Richard Engel, Johnny “Bananas” Devenanzio, and Rudy Mancuso. My list of public figures includes people well established in their careers. Each possesses an element that I hope to possess in my own career. Sarah Polley made the documentary Stories We Tell, which was a raw look into her own family. I remember watching and being uncomfortable with the idea of exposing not only my family but myself to the public. But ultimately it's what made her work so good. I appreciated, understood, and admired her decisions as a filmmaker because of it. Richard Engel is a news correspondent who has done just about everything to get a good story. His work primarily has him covering stories of hardship during the Iraq War, Arab Spring, and the Syrian Civil War. He does fair coverage of it all. He is in the business of journalism but I admire his ability to tell a story in all circumstance and hope to possess that ability in my own filmmaking. Johnny Bananas is a Reality Television star and Rudy Mancuso is an Internet Personality. I am interested in digital media and reality series and would love at some point be able to work within those realms. I relate to these public figures in this order: Richard Engel, Sarah Polley, Johnny “Bananas” Devenanzio, Rudy Mancuso

A list of people who have impacted my life includes Spenge, Sasha, Spax, Leigh, Cynthia, Rachel Fox, Mitchell, Marg, Evan, Austin, Zoe, Brandon, Jarrett, Emily W, Brittney, and Cole.

In the future, I want to be happier than I am today. I say that to myself often; it is very Kim of me. But I think it is a nice cover all of what are your plans for the future? I am currently happier than I was yesterday and I am definitely doing much better this year than I was last year. I would like to get more experience on set. I would like to narrow down exactly what I want to do in the Film Industry. I would like to make a social and career network in the Film Industry. I am currently starting out in a new town and I’ve got some friends but I could use some more. It is weird to make friends as an adult especially when you know it is so critical to how you fair in a new town. Every new interaction is pressure because these could be my people for the next few years. I hope in the future I am happier than I am today, but I also hope I stop worrying about the mundane.

[itsiotrecords-blog]

http://ift.tt/2rI4Ffy

Many people are afraid of insects, probably because they’re creepy, disgusting, freaky, and scary. But despite their weird appearances, many insects possess incredible abilities that will put other animals, and even us humans, to shame. Despite their miniscule sizes and simple brains, these lowly creatures hold the key to solving some of mankind’s greatest problems. Just like…

#1 Cockroaches Cockroaches are perhaps the most disliked creatures in the whole world. Despite that, they’re also the most powerful. Just the mere presence of a single cockroach can make the strongest, most powerful men jump, run, and scream like a girl. What most people don’t know is that cockroaches have significant value to the medical world. A number of researchers nowadays are studying cockroaches for their potential in curing some of man’s most dreaded diseases. Scientists have discovered that the brains of cockroaches contain “nine antibiotic molecules … that protect them from voracious, lethal bacteria”. So, what does this have to do with modern day medicine? Well, the antibacterial molecules found in the brains of cockroaches are more powerful than the antibiotics we use today. In fact, the antibacterial properties of these disgusting insects are far more effective than some of our modern medicine that they make “prescription drugs look like sugar pills”. Laboratory tests show that the antibacterial molecules found in cockroaches can easily cure MRSA—a bacterial infection more deadly than AIDS—and E. coli. Aside from their amazing healing power, cockroaches also have the incredible ability to survive nuclear explosions. When Hiroshima and Nagasaki were annihilated by atomic bombs, the only sole survivors were cockroaches. However, it’s important to note that this amazing ability has its limitations. When exposed to 100,000 radon units, cockroaches will die.

#2 Bees Bees are one of the most intelligent insects in the animal world. Not only do they have their own sophisticated means of communication, they also have extraordinary navigation skills despite the fact that their eyesight is limited. It’s common knowledge that honey bees can communicate with each other. They perform a series of movements called a “waggle dance” to tell each other where food is located or which spot is best for building a new colony. However, what many people don’t know is that the dance is extremely advanced. Honey bees know that the Earth is round, and they take this fact into consideration when they’re learning the location of a certain food source. Aside from that, they can also calculate angles very easily just by reading their waggle dances. For example, if a bee dances from a 12 to 6 o’clock direction, that means food or home is located directly away from the sun. In contrast, a 6 to 12 o’clock movement signifies that bees are to “fly straight forward towards the sun”. A 7 to 1 o’clock movement means that the bees are to fly “to the right of the sun”. Aside from communicating with each other, honey bees also navigate their surroundings through other means like remembering visual landmarks, taking the sun’s position into consideration, and using the Earth’s electromagnetic field.

#3 Locusts Locusts are one of the most efficient pilots in the insect world. These winged creatures, which many people consider to be menaces, can fly great distances without using too much energy. For many years now, scientists have been studying them, and they found out that even though these insects don’t produce great amounts of thrust and lift, they’re capable of sustaining a steady flight rate. Their ability to maintain a steady flight rate doesn’t change even if the winds and temperature become unfavorable. This amazing ability enables them to travel vast distances without wasting much energy. What’s more amazing is that locusts have the capacity to twist their wings during flights. By doing so, they can preserve and even control the quantity of lift they generate. This, in turn, helps in keeping their flight at a consistent rate. This additional feature enables them to fly up to 80 kilometers in one day without requiring a rest.

#4 Fireflies Fireflies‘ amazing ability to produce their own light is a wonder in the animal kingdom, and a source of inspiration and joy for many of us. As a child, you’ve probably experienced that magical feeling that comes upon seeing the twilight flickering of these amazing creatures for the first time. One thing that we, as humans, can learn from fireflies is how to use energy efficiently. Fireflies were designed by Nature to use energy without wasting much of it through heat. The light bulbs we have in our homes only use 10% of their total energy in producing light. The remaining 90% becomes wasted heat energy. On the other hand, the amazing bodies of fireflies were designed to use 100% of the energy to produce light. If fireflies were like light bulbs, in that they use only 10% to make light and the remaining 90% is released as heat energy, they would almost certainly burn to death. Moreover, just like bees, fireflies can talk with each other too. Fireflies use their ability to produce light to signal each other that they are available for mating. Male fireflies give off distinct flash patterns (each species has their own unique patterns) that signal the female fireflies that they are “single”. On the other hand, if the female fireflies are interested in mating, they too would reply by flickering.

#5 Fleas Fleas are harmful not only to your pets, but also to you and your family. Despite that, they have something in them that deserves human admiration: these insects are capable of jumping 150 times their own height! Now, this might not sound really amazing if you view it in insect terms, but if you look at it in a human perspective, then you’ll find that the fleas plaguing your pets are indeed incredible creatures. Consider this. A certain person, let’s call him Bill, is 5’9” tall. If he were a flea, then he would be able to jump 862.5 feet into the air, which would be defying gravity to the highest extent. Just imagine how different our world would be if we possessed this amazing flea ability. There would be fewer cars, less pollution, less expenses, etc. So, the next time you crush a flea, think of what it can do.

#6 Dung Beetles There are two reasons why dung beetles are included in this list: poop and astronomy. This might surprise you, but these two seemingly-unrelated subjects have been connected by these incredible creatures. Dung beetles live a very disgusting lifestyle. They collect animal wastes, roll it up into a ball, and use it for several purposes. They can use the ball as their homes, lay their eggs on it, or if they’re hungry, snack on it. Now, what’s amazing is that dung beetles have the incredible ability to roll their “dung balls” in a straight line even at night! Intrigued by this fascinating ability, Marie Dacke, a biologist from Lund University in Sweden, conducted an experiment. She placed the dung beetles in a planetarium, and watched as the insects were able to successfully roll their dung ball in a straight line by using the “entire starry sky”. To make the experiment more interesting, Dacke decided to show only the Milky Way Galaxy. Surprisingly, the dung beetles were still capable of rolling their precious dung balls in a straight line.  The conclusion: dung beetles are great recyclers and incredible astronomers.

#7 Dragonflies We humans have the amazing ability of selective attention. Right now, you’re using this power to eliminate various distractions and focus on reading and understanding this list. For many years, scientists have believed that only primates possess this amazing ability. However, a new research shows that a specific winged creature in the insect world is also capable of selective attention—dragonflies. Dragonflies have very small brains and yet, when hunting for food, they rely on selective attention. If a dragonfly sees a swarm of tiny insects, it’s going to lock its attention on one prey alone. Through selective attention, it eliminates other potential prey within the swarm and focuses solely on its target. Dragonflies are very accurate when it comes to catching their prey.  Their success rate is very high – 97 percent!

#8 Ants Ants have the amazing ability of always finding their way back home even if they’ve wandered far away in search for food. Scientists have long known that ants employ various visual cues to remind them of where their colony is. However, in some places, like deserts, where there are no distinct landmarks, how do ants manage to find their way back home? This is the same question that Dr. Markus Knaden, Dr. Kathrin Steck, and Prof. Bill Hanson of the Max-Planck Institute for Chemical Ecology in Germany tried to answer with a very simple experiment. For their experiment, the scientists used Tunisian desert ants. They placed four different odors around the entrance of the ants’ nest, and made sure that the entrance was barely visible. After letting the ants associate the odors with their nest, they were then removed and then placed in a different location, one with no nest and no entrance. Only the four odors used previously in the first location were present. Surprisingly, the ants went to the area where the odors were located (the same spot where the nest entrance should have been)! This experiment proved that ants can smell in stereo, which means that they can sense two different odors at the same time from two unique directions. Moreover, it also proved that in places, like deserts, ants don’t rely on visual cues. They create an “odor map” of their environment by relying on their “stereo sense of smell”. As long as the odor is there, they will always find their way back home.

#9 Voodoo Wasps Voodoo wasps are called such because of their “magical” ability to turn their prey or enemies into “zombies”. This might sound like something you’d see in a sci-fi flick, but scientists have proven that voodoo wasps are indeed capable of inducing other insects into a zombie-like state. What’s more eerie is that, once the insects become zombies, voodoo wasps can control them. Voodoo wasps lay their eggs inside the bodies of young geometrid caterpillars. The larvae inside the caterpillars survive by feeding on the bodily fluids of their host. Once the larvae achieve full development, they find their way out of the caterpillar’s body by eating its skin. Then, they create a cocoon and attach themselves into a leaf or a branch. Here comes the slightly terrifying, yet equally fascinating part. The host the caterpillar doesn’t leave the cocoon — instead of doing its usual business, the caterpillar acts as the cocoon’s bodyguard, protecting it from various predators. Researchers conducted an experiment which showed that infected caterpillars do become the “zombie bodyguards” of voodoo wasps by introducing stinkbugs. Caterpillars which were not infected didn’t do anything to stop the stinkbug from going near the cocoon. On the other hand, infected caterpillars protected the cocoon by knocking the bug off the branch. Scientists don’t know why the infected caterpillars protect the cocoon. However, they did find out that this incredible ability of voodoo wasps is crucial for their survival.

#10 Bombardier Beetle When it comes to defensive strategies in the insect world, nothing beats the Bombardier beetle. This creature has the incredible ability to fire a hot mixture of chemical solution strong enough to injure its enemies. The toxic solution sprayed by the beetle can reach an impressive temperature of 212 degrees Fahrenheit, or 100 degrees Celsius. But what’s even more fascinating is the intricate design of the Bombardier beetle’s body. You see, the two chemicals, hydrogen peroxide and hydroquinone, which this insect uses to injure its enemies are dangerous and fatal. If not stored and combined properly, these chemicals would cause the Bombardier beetle to explode! Were it not for their well-designed bodies, Bombardier beetles would have never existed. At the end of this insect’s abdomen are two glands. These two glands separate the hydrogen peroxide from the hydroquinone. If the Bombardier beetle feels threatened, its sphincter muscles will squeeze the right amount of chemicals into a certain body part where they are mixed together with other toxic substances. The result is a hot mixture of toxic chemicals capable of hurting the Bombardier beetle’s enemies.

Source: TopTenz

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