#and this was on people's reaction to something that definitely happened and nobody believes them

[alpaca-clouds]

Leftist Defeatism

Something that really, really annoys me about the left is... the defeatism. And not just in the sense of "we have no chance to win this" kind of way, but also in the "so what use is it having plans, if we won" kind of way.

I think nothing shows this more than the reaction to Solarpunk as a genre (not the aesthetic) being: "This is not punk! Because the characters are not punk." And no matter how much you explain the idea of the Solarpunk world, they will remain on the outlook that punk is indeed "being against the system", rather than "being for certain things". So, to them, a world where the characters align with their surroundings, cannot have punk storytelling.

But... this kinda outlook is in a lot of leftist thought. With the left defining themselves around "fighting the current system" rather than "building a new one". Once again: Don't get me wrong. Yes, we do need to first fight the current system, because capitalism needs to end and all that. But... We should also have a plan for what we do when we have won.

And yes, I am a hopeful individual. I think that we will win. Back in the very old days Abigail from Philosophy Tube put it very nice: Other than right wing politics, the left can win. Because while right wing politics always build towards having others to exclude - until nobody is left to exclude (you know, first they came for the communists and so on)... So they cannot go on forever. Meanwhile left wing politics build towards making people equal and there being a very definite endgame of "everyone is equal and now all is good".

I also need to have faith in this, because the current alternative is: "We will all die." We will not save the world from climate change under capitalism. Because the incentives of capitalism and climate protection do not align.

And that is why I think about what would need to happen afterwards. After we win.

One example of where this defeatism and contrarianism shows is with the entire economy thing. A lot of leftist folks are "against capitalism", but not really for an alternative system, because they still think that communism is bad.

Another example, though, is also this thing about "We don't talk to Nazis, we punch Nazis", that often misses the point of where this originally came from. (The point originally was, that we do not want to give Nazis a plattform - but that does not mean that you as a person cannot talk to them.) Because... So, there is just the problem that we have in most western countries about 8-12% who in some regards align with a lot of nazi believes, and often a further 10-20% absolutely willing to vote for far-right parties. And... I am very much not for the "let's put'em all against the wall and shoot" solution, and not for the "put'em all in prison" solution. So... talking to them is kinda necessary at some point. Doubly so, because ideally we should strive to not end up with the revolution after another nazi takeover, you know? So, ideally we should try and convince people before that happens. And... yeah, well, to convince someone you gotta talk to them.

And there is just a lot of this going around. Just this idea that the entire purpose of the left is just to fight everyone else and the system, rather than also thinking about what we should build towards. How the world could look if we won.

Again: Yes, you absolutely should fight. In fact, you should fight probably more than you, dear reader, currently do. But... we also should work towards a future - not only against the system.

#left wing #leftism #anarchism #communism #climate change #punk #fighting for a better world #hopepunk #hope #optimism

[alharringtonfan]

honestly I haven’t been that involved with the whole Alex stuff but am I somewhat not surprised how Chezz and many others are acting this way since the whole “the holier than thou” and “oh don’t worry guys I’m unproblematic and safe uwu” stuff some analog makers have if that explains it and please correct me if I’m wrong but isn’t one of the people that “came out” like also tried accusing Martin of the same shit? Like what.

Honestly I don’t wanna accuse people of anything but I would not be surprised if one day something similar comes out about them.

it’s just feeding a monster that will soon come to bite them in the ass.

I'm pretty sure it's Mitcha who started the grooming thing (always has to be them huh). They also went against Alex but the thing that confuses me is that they warned him about Ven making a callout doc... so, are they a hater or not? I don't know about that whole thing really well because I'm a donut specialist© but searching around the alex tag you'll finds tons of information about them.

100% my friend. Alex tried the same thing back then with Urbanspook and it just reflected back to him like a boomerang. This thing with pretending that you're better than everyone else is complete bullshit, because good people don't have to prove to anyone that they're good in the first place. Same thing with humility. People who are humble don't go around screaming "LOOK! I'M HUMBLE!!! LOOK AT ALL MY GOOD ACTIONS!!" because they don't need to. They show it through their actions and people see them and recognize them as such.

Chezz and Martin are disgusting people that try to mask their filth with a facade of kindness and acceptance. They try to pander to as many people as possible to convince the world that they're genuinely "good"; and to do that, they go for the narrative that's most widespread and accepted by the general public. Because if they would dare to even think about going against the masses, people would pile up on them. And they will do ANYTHING to prevent it from happening. What Martin fears the most (aside from cats apparently) is people hating on him. The guy is so fucking insecure that some mean things said about his series prompted him to take a year-long break. Oh and on this topic I recommend that you check out Radal's reaction to The Walten Files. It's funny and it pisses off Martin so win-win. Their public image is everything they have, they don't care about being genuine. If people will pat their backs and praise them for their behavior and "courage", that's good enough in their books. Same thing with donut, the slanderer queen and master of the anti-alex death cult.

So, don't ever trust people who are too overly accepting of everything, everyone, all the time. Especially if it is compatible with modern culture and media. EVERYONE has the things that they hate, the things that they disagree with. Milquetoast creators like Alex Kaizo and Tyler Osborne, who will just nod along to whatever their audience says and not even conjure a single original thought of their own because they're too afraid to face backlash are fake. They're all plastic without a hint of morality in themselves.

Also, it will DEFINITELY bite them in their asses. Believe me. Kwite and Squizzy collaborated with Slazo's ex girlfriend to try and cancel him over false allegations of abuse. Both of them got canceled. Alex went along the mob and tried to cancel Urbanspook because that was the hip new thing to do at the time. He got canceled as well. It's just something that happens on the internet, and it'll never change because people are willing to remain or at least pretend to be dumb if it gives them likes and a bit of notoriety. Nobody is perfect, and if a meh relationship was enough to get Alex to face all this shit, who knows what will be the catalyst of the next drama. Martin and Chezz are horrible people that do not deserve the audiences that they have. I am without a doubt when I say that they HAVE done something infinitely worse than this. Chezzkids is a serial clout-chaser and grifter, who let the little "fame" he got after calling Urban names (just like the toddler he is) get to his head and inflate his ego to an immense degree. People who are too full of themselves and think they're the best of the best mess up due to a lack of forethought. They are so confident in their abilities that they won't even think about if what they're doing is the right decision to make. And that's why the twat won't ever back down. He's too egotistical to accept defeat just like Ven's cult members defenders. If Chezz is willing to stain the relationship he had with Alex over some crappy highschool level drama, you can already pinpoint his morals and character, and how he truly treats others within his vicinity.

Martin has a server with a security tighter than the CIA. He's afraid to bite the hand that feeds him but it will punch him back when time is most appropriate; despite the lengths he will go to try to keep his image squeaky clean. One can only imagine the shit he has in there and when it'll eventually surface.

Urban "boogeyman" Spook is a better person than 99% of these cardboard cutouts that dare to call themselves creators. They can only destroy. All they create is hate, the sole things they know how to spread are lies and manipulation. They're nothing more than greedy, hateful, cowardly sycophants.

Phew. I feel a lot better now. Thank you for the ask, anon! I hope you're doing fantastic today 🫶

#ask #sue gang rise up #ranting and raving

[trulytiredhermit]

I have a wonderful idea. ( i always do, it's the confidence darling. )

Think about this, the reader from the modern world who was a voice actor of one of the Links, one of the Zeldas or any other characters.

Bonus points if the reader's voice is wildly different from the said character that nobody will believe that they are the voice actor of that character until they actually do it.

But then the Yandere Links will ask how they are able to voice them and we'd probably give them an existential crisis if we told them..

"No because it's actually easy to change my voice to [Character], AHEM AHEM.."

*'The reader's voice change to a deep or a more higher pitch

[insert a line on how the character would typically introduce themselves in the actual game/show or how they think that character would introduce themselves]

I said "show" than just game because of Courage.

Of course the Cartoon Link and CDI Link would be there too, their reactions will be hilarious i just know it.

Oh jeez, all the boys would be having existential crises and/or reoccurring trauma depending on who Reader voices.

For example if the Reader voiced any character that members of the chain had been close to that they have a sad past with. Well, hopefully Reader is just nice about it and doesn’t bring it up. (Ahem Navi, Marin, literally ANY of the champions, etc).

However if Reader was one of the Link’s voice actor then I feel like it’d be absolutely hilarious. Reader would say the most outrageous things in their voice and just catch the chain, and the Link, in question off guard.

For example could you just imagine Legend and Reader arguing over something and then Reader just whips out Legend’s voice on him.

Legend: I did NOT say that! I said-

Reader: Oh horseshit! You said, and I quote,-

Reader, clearing their throat, now speaking with Legend’s voice: “The map says we should take the left path, there should be a chest in there somewhere with loot or a key. And because I’m sooooo smart and know everything you should listen to me. Blah blah blah,” And then what happened! The floor starting projectile vomiting tiles at us!

Legend, taken aback: … first of all, how the hell did you just do that and secondly, I DIDN’T KNOW ABOUT THE DAM-

————————————————————————

Or Reader having been Time’s voice actor and so they just use that to scare the rest of the chain or make Time laugh.

Like idk if y’all have heard the parody of Fly Me To The Moon, but Reader would DEFINITELY take advantage of Time’s voice to sing that parody.

Time, quietly cleaning his armor:…

Reader, coming from out of nowhere: Hey Time wanna hear a song from my people?

Time, sensing something’s wrong already: Oh, no that’s quite fine [Nam-

Reader: Great! Here is Fuck the Moon!

Time, fighting a grin off his face now listening intently: … you have my attention.

Reader, singing in Time’s voice:

Fly me to the moon.

And let me kick it’s fucking ass.

Let me show it what I learned in my moon jujitsu class

In other words

Catch these hands

In other words

Coward, fight me

Fill my heartless void

And let me see you explode

You are all I ever hated

So please just gooo!

In other words…

Fuck the mooooooooon

In other words..

I hate you!

Reader, out breath: so what’d you think?

Time, discreetly wiping a tear from his eye: Beautiful, absolutely perfect. I’m not even gonna question the voice thing right now.

———————————————————————-

Or like Wild and Wind are getting up to shenanigans and then they just hear Time’s disappointed voice from behind them like:

Wild and Wind getting up to stuff they shouldn’t:

Time’s voice sounding from behind them: And just what do you boys think you’re doing.

Wild and wind: !!!!!

They turn around only to see Reader holding back a grin and struggling to not break their composure.

Wild: Oh goddesses, I thought I was going to die a second time.

Wind: You’re telling me! That was worse then when Grandma and Aryll got mad at me.

————————————————————————

Time of course knows about Reader using his voice to prank the others and is all for it. That man is a prankster through and through and he is living for the chain being on edge not knowing if it’ll be him or Reader they encounter.

————————————————————————

Sad to say I’m not too familiar with the cringe Links but I know for fact that Reader would interrupt one of them with the “Well, excuuuuuuuuuse me Link!” And the Link in turn would just stare in betrayal and awe.

It’d turn into the Spider-Man’s pointing at each meme. Bonus points if Reader dresses up as them when they do it.

Also love the confidence darling, keep it up. 😂

#chromonomatic #linked universe #trulytiredhermit #linked universe x reader #yandere lu x reader #Sorry I’m just getting to these asks now #I’ve been playing BOTW with my little sibling

[shigarakis-fav-hand]

Genshin Boys being Jealous/Possessive Pt 2

Characters: Xiao, Cyno, Kazuha

Head cannons

Warnings:none

Female

Not proofread

Xiao

He’s the silent type when he’s angry, until he can’t hold it back anymore

Xiao would most likely grab your arms and take you away from the other being

He knows you’re human, so you interact with other beings. It’s just when he sees them eyeing you up and down

It pisses him off

You and Xiao were at an old building in Liyue. He wanted to show you the history of Liyue. But, some other human was staring at you. He did not like it one bit. Xiao kept you near, rubbing shoulders every now and then. He didn’t want any PDA, so this was the best for now. The person kept following you around. Xiao was getting upset. “I’m going to get some fresh air.” Xiao turns around and walks away. You didn’t question anything. After all, what is there to question? Little did you know, Xiao grabbed that person from behind and took them outside, cloth in mouth. As an Adepti, he’s supposed to protect the people of Liyue. Just this one time should be fine, right? He won’t kill them, just hurt them a bit. After Xiao will return to you, acting like nothing happened. “That took a bit, are you okay?” You ask, touching his face with the tips of your fingers. “I’m fine, are you hungry?” You smile at him, “Yeah, my treat.”

Cyno

No one will try to touch you. Nobody wants to mess with the general

If someone doesn’t know he is though it’s a different story

Cyno is possessive af but doesn’t show it

Definitely marked you with his scent

Wraps an arm around you, holds your hand

He wants to show you’re his

Someone still doesn’t get a hint? Cyno will take you away or speak to the person

Cyno finally had a day off, so you guys went out. Going to odd shops, cafes, different places in Sumeru, you and Cyno were enjoying life. There was one person following you both when at a art gallery. Cyno automatically took hint of this. Not wanting to ruin the date, he stayed on guard. You suspected something was wrong. You followed his sight and there was someone. You smirked, “Someone being protective?” He pulled you close, “I don’t want people staring at what’s mine.” You chuckled, “It’s alright, I’m yours.” This human came closer though. He started flirting with you. Cyno had prepared for this and snapped back. “Can’t you see she’s taken?” He pulled you into a kiss, “Go find someone else to gawk at.”

Kazuha

He’s very trusting; however, it’s alright for him to get jealous right?

Kazuha believes you won’t do anything, but he still doesn’t like it when someone gets too touchy!

He would try to listen only to your voice if he’s far to know you’re reaction(he’d never tell you tho)

Well composed

Affection is needed afterwards

You and Kazuha came back from the Crux to go to a event with you, a family event. There were people both you don’t know. Being on the ship means you miss out on family reunions. Someone you weren’t related to has creative words; making his flirting different. You found this interesting; not everyday someone has a way with words. Your lover, Kazuha, didn’t talk like this man does. Kazuha was upset you’re letting him do this. He knows you won’t do anything with him, yet it hurts him a bit:( He didn’t want to disturb you and left you there. After the event was a different story. He was all over you. “Yn… please, I want attention” a whining mess.

#genshin cyno #kazuha #genshin fluff #genshin xiao #genshin impact headcanons #genshin impact #fanfiction #fanfic #xiao x you #adeptus xiao #xiao x reader #cyno scenarios #cyno x y/n #cyno fluff

[strqyr]

Just something that hit me while I was thinking of the logistics of everyone thinking that Raven had the Spring Maiden and wasn't the Spring Maiden herself. Because the Spring Maiden disappeared so many years ago. It kinda says something that no one wondered about a bandit, not even Raven necessarily just... killing the previous one in such a manner that they'd be the one in her thoughts. They had Raven and Qrow to send to Beacon - someone of the right age might have been available.

Which fits with the fact that everything we are getting with Raven is that something went horribly wrong that night with Summer - and that her becoming the Spring Maiden was not her idea nor intention. And that yeah - there are more ways for someone to betray someone's trust then just flat out murdering them. Like having poor judgement with who to trust.

yeah, it's definitely interesting that before the reveal, no one brings up the possibility that the spring maiden they knew might have died at some point during the "over a decade" she was missing. and from cinder's and yang's reactions to finding the truth, it really feels like the assumption across the board was that spring was alive and well, the possibility of her dying never crossing anyone's mind.

which, once you get to summer's mission and raven being there with her and trust ("the last spring maiden must've trusted you a great deal before she died. i bet that was a mistake." / "if i do this right, there's nothing to worry about. trust me.") and whether it was personal or mercy... there's definitely a lot to take in, and that's before getting into all the other ways raven has been an open book missing a crucial context (she was there) this whole time.

there's also something about... you don't just drop a bomb like "raven and qrow were sent to beacon to learn how to kill huntsmen" without it meaning something, right? not when it's also noted as something that was kept a secret while being a bandit was, apparently, acceptable information to share. curious to know if summer knew about it beforehand or, if like yang, she found out later after raven had already left and was the last to know, and how much does the "my people were killed by other people, not grimm" from the warrior in the woods play into summer's story bc if it does there's a lot to unpack here.

but back to the point, yeah, i don't really see what potentially happened with spring and how raven got the powers as premeditated, but rather as a choice made in a moment where there wasn't much time to think. it's like, do or die, if you will. it almost feels like the spring maiden was an unfortunate bystander in whatever went down between summer and raven, bc all the stuff about trust and it being potentially personal is an easier sell between two characters that we do know and would have a reason to believe to have been close friends vs a character who, atm, is basically a nobody with no strong connections to anyone, let alone summer or raven.

#grundpfeiler #ask.strqyr

[tothefiniteyou]

Blind Sight - A Retrospective

Includes spoilers for the entirety of Tales of Leonardo: Blind Sight, as well as discussion of suicidal ideation, depression, and other sensitive topics. Some of the panels included might be considered gory as well. I'm also writing this with the assumption that you're familiar with what happens in the story.

I'd like to begin this little think piece of mine with a disclaimer; I'm going to be fairly vulnerable with this, as this is a piece of writing that impacted me greatly for a variety of reasons. Let's get into it.

The beginning to Blind Sight really begins with the 5th issue of the second volume to Tales of the TMNT - Blind Faith. I think it's very bittersweet that the story begins with Leo comforting a small Shadow who's still afraid of the dark, because it's a good way of setting the stage and tone for this story. Phobias and fears are typically irrational, and we're afraid not just of what we can't see, but what can happen because of that. They can control us because we let it fester and grow, losing ourselves to that fear.

When Leo loses his sight in this story, he has to be confronted with the fact that life won't be the same. He doesn't think he can lead or protect his brothers anymore, and he doesn't have control, either. He's very much someone that prefers information to be clear and concise with no punches pulled. He needs facts, and he relies on his senses and logic.

I know Jim Lawson has been praised plenty for making everything monochrome to show how Leo cannot see and no longer remembers what things look like, but his prose doesn't get enough attention, in my opinion.

There's a lot I admire about this entire story, especially the moment in which Leo believes he has taken an innocent life. There's nothing dramatic about it, as Leo isn't the type to have some over-the-top reaction. He freezes, mouth partly agape, as he takes in the fact that this could be permanent and that he has lost the ability to do the only thing he considers himself good at. It's such a subtle display of grief, and I love it.

Really, there's not much I can say about the actual event where he's blinded, and it's not what I want to focus on, either. I want to highlight the aftermath:

This scene really gets to me because we, as the viewer, only have Leo's perspective. There's nothing to see, just a black and white landscape of shapes. I think it's a good display of the dissonance between the brothers here. Mikey's trying his hardest to find some positives, or to at least not make his brother feel different. Leo, however, wants none of it; his grief is narratively blinding him in this story, and this scene is meant to show that. He's saying he still enjoys it up here, but it's a lie. It's a lie because instantly when he's alone, Leo begins to have Thoughts.

With these pages, it's clear that Leo considers himself to be his swords, in a sense. He's a weapon - his whole life has revolved around defending and protecting. After all, Splinter raised them with a single purpose; revenge. But revenge is what led to him losing his sense of purpose to begin with, so even then, what good is he? What purpose does he serve now that he can't fight like he used to? If something is broken, you throw it away; nobody has use for something that can't even do the thing you have it for. At least, this is the idea he's subscribed to here.

Now, Leo is definitely no stranger to depression in the original Mirage series. Hell, I'd argue that Mirage Leo was really the blueprint for IDW Leo, who has a similar goofiness contrasted with these types of melancholic monologue to him. He's so fixated on what he no longer has that he can't even get past it. To him, he's as good as dead. It's harsh to say, but I think he's having such a huge identity crisis that a part of him doesn't even want to try. He's just... So tired.

Of course, I'm sure he'd give everything to be able to fight again, but that's for his brothers. When it comes to people that need control, sometimes the scariest thing is realizing that your control wasn't actually ever needed. He fights for his brothers, but what if they don't need him protecting them? He could fight again, but he wouldn't forgive himself if it hurt and endangered them. He'd also be hurt if they did well without him, though.

After the incident in which they are forced to go to Northampton, Leo isn't in a coma at all. He becomes testy and goes out into the woods to hunt and be alone, scarcely seen by anyone else. He's more closed off here than in 2003 & 2012 and never seems to really talk. He sort of gets past it when Raph ends up being nearly killed by the Shredder, but my point here is that Leo seems to have a lot of identity problems.

He couldn't protect his brothers or April then, so he hunts. What's interesting about that is the fact animals are good at sensing enemies and tracking their prey, similar to how the Shredder herded Leo to where he needed him for the ambush (I wrote a little fic about this too teehee).

Anyway, it's clear that Leo prides himself on maintaining order. Any setback can cause him to spiral because of his need for control.

I think that's why this conversation scares Mikey so much, basically insinuating to their other brothers that he's genuinely afraid of Leo killing himself, directly or passively it doesn't matter. His fears aren't unwarranted, either.

Now, it's revealed that this ^^^ is just an intrusive daydream of Leo's, but still. Up on the radio tower, he imagines what it would be like to fall off, his own weapon piercing through him. This, to me, is very deliberate. He's the weapon, defending his family, but also ruining the lives of others, bad or not. His sword blinded the one that retaliated and blinded him back, which may as well have sealed his fate and killed him. Also, doesn't this seem a tad bit similar to seppuku? In that he's killed by his own blade? Seppuku is seen as the only way to regain honor in the afterlife...

The resemblance is meant to be there, I think, because what are the odds his katana is able to break through the concrete with the force of its fall and be blade side up long enough for him to be impaled by it? I suppose it can happen, but I think it just shows how Leo isn't his usual, rational self right now.

(I think it's also interesting in his little daydream that he doesn't imagine himself jumping off. He can't quite bring himself to do it, so instead of stepping off himself, he goes out of his way to picture one of the rungs snapping, leading him to fall. Now, on a meta level this could be a bit of a diversion tactic to scare you and make it feel real, but ehh. I think it can go both ways).

Anyways, he imagines his death in gruesome, visceral detail, to the point he wonders if his death would cause the death of his family as well. His leaps in logic are irrational. Because really, what are the chances there's a special mineral from the sewers embedded in his feet, leading to government agents finding the lair and killing his family?

This is the scene I really wanted to talk about, as I find it to be one of the most brutal and realistic depictions of depression. Later on in this series, Leo basically implies that there's plenty of ways he can die, and they're all preventable. All he needs is a reason to do so (keep them from happening), but he currently doesn't have one.

I think it's the same thing here.

He's looking for a reason to step off the tower - either to jump, or to walk away and go back home. He doesn't need some grand sign, he just needs a reason. So, he considers what it would be like, to die. But he can't even go through with it all the way because then he imagines Raph dying because of his decision. This is what finally causes him to snap out of it, choosing to abandon his katana.

Even when contemplating death, his family is still the reason he keeps going. He needed a reason to live, and imagining his brother(s) dying is what did it. He weaponized his own intrusive thoughts to live. His own death didn't scare him, but his family did.

Yet, a piece of him still clearly dies, as depicted by him throwing away his sword. He doesn't want to be the weapon anymore, but he's not too sure what he is without it. He wants to make a point that he's more than the weapon. However, you can read him dropping his katana as him giving up, thinking he only kills and is no longer worthy of trying to protect. Not after killing an innocent man.

He doesn't directly kill his brother, but I don't think that matters to Leo. Not when he internalizes mistakes.

Never before have I seen intrusive thoughts depicted this way, or even suicidal ideation, really. It's....not quite comforting, but makes me feel seen, you know? Sometimes it's not really the happy thoughts that keep you going, but your own fear twisted in a way that fits your narrative.

The fact the first issue just ends with this ^ page is also so.... We don't get to see him actually step off, because a part of him never leaves. It's still there, not sure which direction to go.

Self-blame is both a canon and widely fanon aspect to Leo's character. By that I mean the portrayal feels a bit fanon, as I don't think Leo's perfectionist personality is really explored until Vol. 2 of the original series (although there is the Northampton arc...) It's definitely there, don't get me wrong, but it's more like his self-blame comes from a place of grief and fear. I think this panel might make it clear what I mean?

These deaths were because he lost his autonomy, blindly killing without being able to do a thing to stop it. He blames himself for everything, but I don't think he trains relentlessly to be perfect or to necessarily protect people the best he can. I think he's scared of doing the opposite. It takes more control to not kill a person than it does to do so, in a way. Anyone can kill another, but having the skill to pull back and merely disarm an enemy whilst protecting yourself and others is marginally harder.

But he's having a hard time knowing if it was worth it, pulling his punches. If he had killed the Foot soldier that blinded him, he wouldn't be feeling like this now. He wouldn't be unable to help his family (as he has been blind for months by this point I believe?) like he currently feels like he is. He was trained since birth to kill the Shredder, just to suddenly have to save people. That's a very different thing!

Splinter literally started their ninja training the second they began walking and copying his movements. He trained them for revenge, just for them to have to be vigilantes as the time calls for it.

I think what I'm really getting at here is that he's more than just angst; he can be silly and bossy just because, too (Leo is such a bossy older brother). But his fear manifests in the urge to do his best, and really a lot of his angst is self-made.

It's not just "I have to be perfect", or "I'm trying to keep you safe." It's something more, though I lack the proper words to describe it... It's almost like he wants to bear the burden in the case a scenario just like this one happens. If being the best means facing the worst, so be it. Hopefully that makes sense...

I want to get more into how IDW Leo and Mirage Leo feel very one-in-the-same to me, but I think that's an essay for another time. It's just very important to me for you to know that Leo often questions his devotion to Splinter in the original comics.

Not only does he say things like this, but in this story, when Splinter pushes him down the hill in the woods and forces him to find his way back home while blind, all Leo says is: "I knew it." He didn't expect his father to outright help him or to offer sympathies. He just accepted that he was going to have to look inside himself and solve this psychosomatic matter. Just another example of Leo internalizing the idea that hurt is all in his head...

He stated "You think I'm crazy." when Splinter suggested he was keeping himself blind, as well. It wasn't a question, and that, to me, really showcases that all Leo's have daddy issues /hj.

Anyways, sorry that this was mostly incoherent and didn't serve too much of a purpose. I really just wanted an excuse to get people to read Blind Sight... well, and to talk about the scene in which Leo imagines endangering his family because of his actions.

#tmnt #tmnt 1984 #mirage tmnt #think piece #tmnt leonardo #tmnt blind sight #please heed the tws #im so #mirage leo makes me so emo #please someone talk to me about the original comics #long post #seriously #2u thoughts

[cat-s0ul]

Prompt

TW: poisoning, morally grey reg, bamf reg, minor death of Walburga and Orion by a minor reg

What if 16 y.o Regulus Black to avoid taking the dark mark (because Blacks don’t bows to nobody thank you very much) runs a scheme for poisoning Walburga and Orion Black in some countryside mansion overseas during school period to avoid suspicion. But the killing happens so many months before he had calculated so he is still a minor who needs custody and the closest family member to look after him legally is Sirius (who is already of age).

Regulus isn't mad by the result of the deaths, that was the objective by the way, he is almost of age, only a few months and he is turning 17 so fighting for emancipation is not worthy and probably Sirius will look at the letter of notification and judge that he will be doing well with Kreacher at the end of the term.

Oh how wrong he was.

Sirius is mainly confused. That is a statement. On one side, it is a relief that Walby and absent Orion are gone and not treating the world with his nonsense bigotry anymore but how was that possible? They were the most paranoid people he met and according to the letter, there was no fighting just a weird heart attack for the old hag and the natural death of his father by his illness. And on another side, what the hell??? A custody notification informing him that he might be the new guardian of his brother whom he hasn't talked to properly in years less seeing him since he left Hogwarts. Sirius could ignore the situation and let his strangled llittle brother under the care of his beloved elf until he turns 17 and unlocks the Black fortune to do whatever he wants to but it's almost Yule and maybe his parents weren't the best and most affectionate people to pass the holidays but nobody deserves to be alone or worse with his crazy cousin.

Sirius was still off of himself when decides to contact the headmaster to arrange a meeting with Regulus knowing that his little brother would refuse to speak to him in Hogsmeade or anywhere to be honest except if he is called by a professor. James would make a joke about how artful he can be when wants to, Godric, Sirius wants to tell them about this mess. His friends definitely would know what to do with all this.

So there is him in the Slughorn’s office waiting for Regulus to arrive having no idea what to say. When he heard the door being opened, Sirius quit pacing to look at him.

Regulus somewhat got to be taller than him within the months without noticing each other. It's annoying. Sirius was about to say hello or something stupid before his brother cut him off with a slight scowl “Sirius.”

“Hey Reggie, long time without seeing you” Sirius tried to smile at him but the fast almost imperceptible incredulous look on the other boy's made him uncomfortable

“Why are you doing here? I was believed to meet Professor Sloughorn” How he managed to sound so boring within seconds was a mystery for the older brother. “Well, he is gone to talk to Dumbledore” Sirius shrugged. “Nonetheless some days ago, I got some impressive news I would say, not you?”

“Only you would say impressive news about the Father and Mother's deaths” Regulus huffed. “But that doesn't explain why you are here”

“Well, dear baby brother, besides that distinguished news, I got another letter which got my attention,” said, handling the custody notification. Regulus took it and opened it with a dull expression that quickly switched to an offensive one.

“No” he blurted out “I refuse to- I refuse to you being my guardian”

“Don't be too harsh” Sirius chuckled humourless “I would be worse or maybe not due to your acquaintances but your dear Bella is the other option”

Regulus shivered and Sirius put on a smug smile “Who would believe that Sirius Black is a better option for Little Reggie than Bellatrix, I hope that Mother is turning over his grave due to your reaction”

“Stop it,” Regulus uttered “I will be fine on my own”

“I don't think so” Sirius commented “You are turning 17 the next year and you will need money for your school supplies in the summer”

“That's rich of you to say,” Regulus remarked “You don't have the money nor a house since you left last year. I would rather live with the Lestranges than the Potters”

“That's not true or dear mommy don't tell you about the will of old Uncle Alphard” Sirius scowled at him “And the Potters are the best, but well, if you don't want to, we would live in the old Alphard’s flat”

“I have a home. You know it well enough 12 Grimmauld Place with Kreacher”

“Come on, Reggie. You don't like that house neither do I, I swear never put a foot there again”

“Your problem” Regulus shrugged “and I didn't agree with you having my custody. You are barely responsible enough and I would rather emancipate”

“I have never dreamed of it before”

Regulus snorted at that “Liar”

“Well it's not my fault that dear mommy and father are dead before you were of age”

“I am completely aware of that” Regulus grimaced Sirius contemplated his little brother for a while.

“What?” finally Sirius asked, “What do you mean?”

“Nothing” Regulus smirked. “And if you excuse me, I believe that I have prefect responsibilities to do”

“Wait-”

But before he would finish talking, Regulus was off of his sight. To be sincere, it could have been worse than this. There is still hope with Reg preferring him to Bellatrix. And if Regulus killed his parents, well, they deserved it.

#regulus black #sirius black #marauders era #black brothers #Regulus poisoned walburga and orion #i should be doing hw #or sleeping #angst but no angst #R.A.B #s.o.b. #hp prompts #Black brothers prompts

[avrelia]

Hey! Do you believe Mai genuinely feared Azula?

The short answer is “yes”.

But, apparently, there is Mai vs Fear discourse is happening so here is a long answer. Mai’s relationship with Azula is complicated. It is friendship, sure, except none of those kids know what healthy relationship look like, whether it’s friendship or romance. It is friendship, but it’s rules and parameters are defined by Azula, and the cost of disobeying and moving out of line is unpleasant to pay. So Mai, in my opinion, is constantly calculating the cost – what would it cost her to say no? To do her own thing? We see in “Zuko Alone” flashback her being threatened with burn and then embarrassed because Azula noticed Mai kind of liked her brother. Even if there was no danger for her life, I doubt it was a pleasant experience. And we are not meant to take it as an isolated incident, either, more like a common occurrence.

When we see Mai in Omashu, she is bored. So bored, that an attack on her and her family from the Omashu resistance is a welcome distraction. But, really, try to imagine yourself in her place – she cannot go anywhere, talk to anyone, everyone here are either troops and servants or locals that hate them and try to kill them. The only person she can stand is Tom Tom, and only for a little while. (believe me, it is a totally normal reaction on a toddler in a family, and it doesn’t say anything about love or its lack, or the future relationships).

Tom Tom exchange has been discussed to death and back, so I’ll just remind that any sane person choosing between displeased Azula and unknown boy would choose to leave a baby with an unknown boy.

Does Mai fear Azula here? In my opinion, definitely. Fear is just not an only thing Mai feels when she meets Azula in Omashu. It is a chance to escape an unbearable living situation, it is a chance to run wild and do something, not to obey her parents. Sure she has to obey her princess, but that is inescapable in any case. And When her parents demand of her to stay proper and be happy, Azula’s demands are more dangerous, but also thrilling. And Mai would rather preemptively agree on whatever Azula asks and look cool while doing that than to be ordered to do the same. People are complicated like that. And nobody really asks Mai what is it she really wants to do, not even she herself.

Mai is not particularly nice or enlightened, and doesn’t see a reason to question the war propaganda she grew up with, and in book 2 we don’t see much of a conflict between what Azula requires and what Mai is willing to do, so she follows along easily. In contrast to Azula, though, Mai doesn’t care about victory or reaching any of Azula’s goals, the journey and fighting seemingly enough for her. She is not willing to get dirty during the drill debacle and refuses to jump in the sludge. Many see it as a proof that Mai is not afraid of Azula – but Azula is not present at that moment, and the cost of disobedience is considered negligible. On the other hand, after their successful takeover of Ba Sing Se, Mai is assigned a distinguished duty of cleaning bear poop. Is it the highest honor or a price she had to pay for not wanting to get dirty earlier?

No wonder Mai is ready to give up Bosco the bear as soon as she can.

After that we don’t really see Mai disobeying Azula until the end. And at the Boiling Rock the cost of doing nothing is too high. However, even there, it was not Azula who ordered to drop the gondola into the boiling water, but the Warden, Mai’s own uncle. Everyone understood that it was in accordance with Azula’s wishes, and saving runaways on gondola is against her, maybe not expressed but implied will. Which is why, when Azula questions Mai, it is about them, not about the warden.

And Azula knows that Mai understands the rules of their relationship, she always did. And Mai answers with precisely formulated words. They pretended that fear was not an underlying current of their friendship, but they both knew it was not the case. Azula believed it was the best way to keep people doing what she wanted, and Mai was used to calculating the cost of disobedience. So now Mai decided that she was willing to pay that cost, no matter what it is going to be.

thanks for the question!

#atla #my posts #my asks #atla mai #azula

[bexfangirlforlife]

Notes of my first rewatch of Tatort Saarbrücken episode Die Kälte der Erde:

gonna pay attention to the actual case now (update I did. Still not much focus on that in my notes)

why is them sitting in the car feeling so domestic?

I still think that the doctor is too shocked over seeing beer drinking people in the ER, as if that doesn't happen more often.

the giggling/laughing when they don't get the couch through the door

oh yeah Esther and that one girl from the bar definitely had something. Also the post that said "the barkeeper knows it/something" so true

that "Hallo, Mama." is funny

it's not the first time, but that scene in the house made me think that in comparision to the little bit of young Adam we saw in the first episode, adult Adam does seem to have some unhingedness from his father (hate to say it)

I knew I recognised the doctor from somewhere, he was the ghost mentor of Jonas in Anna und die Liebe and he played the pimp in two episodes of the second Doctor's Diary season

they (Adam, Leo &Pia) pretend like being a Fußballfan is something really rare... guys we're in germany. It's not that uncommon!

"heyyy Saarbrücken" - german tumblr once a year

Adam's "same", love it

still lowkey wish they would have danced together at the party ngl

the bridge scene aka divorce part 1

Leo: "sprich mit mir!" I've been often frustrated with Adam not really talking to Leo. Though with the info we get later in the episode, that Adam tried to tell people that he was abused by his father, it does make even more sense that he wouldn't talk to anyone, because nobody believed him back then, why would anyone listen now? (Obviously it's different, but the man never got proper therapy, so how would he know?)

so we have Leo/Notizbuch, Adam/Sporttasche and Pia/sleep deprivation. So what is it for Esther? It's not alloud to be people, so is it Esther/Fußball? Or is it something else?

"Ich kann aber besser schlafen, wenn ich weiß, dass dir nichts passiert." would make me insane in itself, but the tone of voice Vladi is delivering it in makes this line another level. (I swear I've heard that exact tone in conversations between Boris and Tobias aka canon couple Toris from sdl)

"Tiger"-"Miau" I'll never get over it

Personal Funfact: the standard radio station my dad and I would listen to, when he drove me to school had a singing competion with this one song every morning for weeks back in the day. We still nod to each other whenever the song comes up somewhere.

"Ist das dein Partner? Ihr passt gut zusammen" still insane insane insane insane insane

Ok yeah I really need Adam going crazy worrying about Leo because Boris uses him as Adam's pressure point to be a big plot point in the next one now please.

What is Adam's plan with the money though? Like what is he planning to do with it?

"Dann leg das Gartenwerkzeug weg du Vogel" it's the pause before Vogel that makes this truly hilarious

Alina's attitude and look constantly remind me of the kid in Systemsprenger

"Wir stecken da jetzt auch mit drin" ... Foreshadowing?

The hospital scene aka divorce part 2

Adam's face after Leo says "Du weißt ich würde mit dir bis ans Ende der Welt gehen, aber nicht auf diesem Weg." still kills me

"Ich bin da. Ich war immer da." fbrjfjdhsbs

"Adam Schürk, der Mittelpunkt der Welt." - "Deiner Welt vielleicht." Enter Leo's teary eyed look killing me. And the yes nod. Pleeaassee...

"Leo, pass auf dich auf. Wenn ihr ein Paar wärt, dann würde man sagen ihr habt ne toxische Beziehung." Love Leo's reaction to this

Why did you keep the knife?

The cliffhanger aka divorce part 3

The guilty look on Adam's face. He knows he fucked up, he knows and he didn't wanna. Please I can't.

THE END

I have to rewatch all the episodes close to each other (it's been a year/over a year), but I right now I'd say this is my fave out of the four, just because of the amount of insane stuff (and I don't mean in the sense like we had in hds, with the whole frosh and stick thingy) and the amount of Adam/Leo scenes we got.

#tatort saarbrücken #dkde #die kälte der erde #rewatch #personal #spatort #long post #(i'm sorry. but i didn't wanna use the read more)

[rafent]

How hypocritical is your muse? If they can be hypocritical, do they realise this about themselves? How do they reconcile with it?

♙ ; how hypocritical is your muse? If they can be hypocritical, do they realize this about themselves? how do they reconcile with it? ( also asked by @unsungblade )

My hot Engage take is that Rafal is simultaneously one of the least and most hypocritical characters in the cast.

For instance, if we defer to one common example of hypocrisy which is moral superiority contrasted with one's immoral behavior or beliefs, Rafal from that perspective will never water down his own values and dilute them with a sense of sanctimony by saying one thing and believing another. Whatever opinion he gives to someone else will be exactly what he means. This applies to all situations that demand for his opinion in some way, shape, or form as well.

He's hardcore, he puts his front foot down, and, ultimately, Rafal happens to be a lot of things - prickly, arrogant, self-centered, critical, jealous, imperfect, stubborn, and intense - but the one thing he'll never be is a hypocrite who dresses up his views to look better than they are. He's honest. . .but only in that light.

Other than that, Rafal is absolutely hypocritical. One hundred thousand percent. We see Rafal's particular brand of hypocrisy most common with characters from his past, situations and relationships where he tends to do a lot of posturing and 'biting' in an effort to dissuade further interaction. Something Gregory describes as Rafal's seeming obligation (it definitely is) and also something that Gregory's support chain showcases pretty well:

Gregory: Well, if it isn’t Lord Rafal. What a coincidence, running into you in this great, wide Somniel.

Rafal: Ugh…

Gregory: Whoa, what’s with the silent treatment? We’ve always been such good allies.

Rafal: Ah, yes, now I recall. You are one of those mewling Four Winds wretches.

Rafal expresses his contempt for Gregory by implicating him to be forgettable - diminishing his identity to someone whose name he doesn't even remember. He treats him like a sore inconvenience, but most importantly: a nobody. Who are you again? Did I mean something to you? That sort of thing. And this encounter isn't reflective at all of how Rafal truly feels about the people he once shared battles and struggles with.

The affectation of his dislike isn't genuine and it isn't constant, either. Rafal's more truthful reality becomes plain to see when it comes to losing what he loved, because at that point there's no more purpose to his facade or walls. It's a hard prerequisite for his honesty but the reason for it is clear: a defensive pretense isn't needed when the other person isn't alive to require it.

Died (Gregory): We should wrap Gregory’s body in something soft, at least. It is what he would want.

Died (Zelestia): Zelestia is gone. I was wondering why it had suddenly become so quiet…

Died (Madeline): Madeline left us much too soon. Let us resolve not to squander any more young lives.

When Gregory dies, Rafal sheds his distance and adopts a more familiar judgment in 'what he would want', revealing that Gregory's interests were always things he took measure of, and that he'd preserved them all along. A blatant contradiction to the who-are-you treatment given to him in their C-support. When Zelestia dies, he enacts a similar sense of his familiarity albeit with her rambunctious personality, something viewed in a positive, room-filling light. Madeline's death instead calls upon his regretful reference to her age, an uncharacteristically tender emphasis at that.

The common ground between all of Rafal's reactions is a fond qualitative observation about his deceased Wind. Sentiment. Emotions and attachments that aren't betrayed on a surface level by his harsh words, particularly the ones pointed at them during his versus dialogue as Fell!Nil. Every expectation of hatred that Rafal gave during that time is negated by what he says and does afterward. Remembering their preferences, mourning their larger-than-life presence, and regretting their fate.

Even his shared support with Mauvier reflects a similar verdict; that what Rafal bespeaks to devalue his previous bonds differs from his actual beliefs.

Rafal: I do not require anything at the moment.

Mauvier: Good. If that changes, I assume you know how to find me.

Rafal: I would extend to you the same offer. I know you have a tendency to overwork yourself.

A far cry from Nil, Rafal is not a good liar. But he is an excellent hypocrite.

Most incriminating is the fact that he remembers things. If Rafal truly hated someone he wouldn't make remarks about their likes or concerned allusions to their most destructive tendencies. The ultimatum is that he cares. He cares and 9.5 out of 10 times he won't allow himself to show that.

The exception is present-world Mauvier, because him being a separate Mauvier without intimate knowledge of the sins that Rafal committed exempts him from Rafal's 'obligation' to keep far, far away from the people that he's hurt. And because said obligation is such a strong motivation, even if he did realize his own hypocrisy I doubt he would reconcile with the fact or try to amend it.

#◜ ₊ — 𝓡 ˚ ₊ 𝐋𝐈𝐅𝐄𝐋𝐎𝐍𝐆 𝐏𝐄𝐍𝐈𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄 ╱ askbox. #thelightofcreation #unsungblade #thank you both for the topic i enjoyed writing about it #i like observing rafal like he's a creature in an enclosure #his hot and cold duality is what makes him so interesting but he has a lot of behaviors that debunk his own coldness #it really condenses down to the fact that he's a bad liar #not a good kid. but not a bad kid either. he has Problems and that's the only real constant

[outrunningthedark]

Now buddie shippers think buddie will happen bc of this line Eddie said “I just hate being forced to date. It feels like I have to perform” and the other characters' reactions but like, even straight people can feel that way especially when it's a blind date and when you don't feel ready. Now I hope buddie will happen ofc but I feel like every episode buddie shippers find something to latch on that "proves" buddie is coming but it never comes, it's been years 😅 I used to be like this too but now I just go with the flow lol, what will happen, will happen

That's an example of something I mentioned last night (something that is not exclusive to our fandom, ftr) - anyone who is shipping two characters in the hopes that they get together romantically can (and will!) find ways to use a line of dialogue, a facial expression, etc. as "proof" that their ship is going canon or is going to be endgame. (I'm not crapping on people who do it for fun with no expectations. But there are definitely some people who cannot separate fanon from canon...) Here's the interpretation that most people (GA and non-Buddie shippers who don't think of them as queer) are going to get from that scene: "I feel like I have to perform" = "I feel like I have to meet Vanessa's expectations because she may not have agreed to go out with me otherwise." Also, there's the (unfortunate) reality that Hen validated his concerns in a non-gay way IN THE SAME SCENE. "First of all, 99% of any first date, arranged or otherwise, is a performance, so get over yourself." First dates (when you are looking for companionship, that's an important component of the story) are always about making a "good" first impression because nobody wants to get rejected on the first try. One bad experience is all it takes for some people to decide that was one experience too many, and with Eddie, it became clear by the end of the episode that he has remained alone not because he likes his life the way it is (as a single dad), but because it's the easiest way to avoid rejection or ending up in another loveless relationship. TL;DR There is an equally hetero explanation for what happened in the latest episode, and it's the one the majority are going to connect with regardless of where Buck and Eddie may be headed in the future. Seeing is believing, as they say.

#anonymous #tina speaks #911 spoilers  #eddie diaz #buddie

[dear-mrs-otome]

Silvio Ricci - Main Story - Chp 06 - His POV

Standard Disclaimer: I do this for fun. I don’t, and never would, claim to be proficient at JP. There will be mistakes herein. There will be dialogue I choose to smooth out or change, because it feels choppy just straight translating. There will be the occasional snarky aside and irreverence and just plain summarizing. If you’re looking for 100% pure accuracy, without commentary or localizing, this is not for you. If you don’t mind that…then proceed, and I hope you enjoy! And please, support your local localizer (they make this stuff look easy) and Cybird by playing the games and routes when they come to English.

~~~~~~~~

Thirsty.

He doesn’t know the cause, but he’s so parched it feels as if he can’t go on without drinking. No matter how much money he has, how vast his fortune grows…this thirst never fades.

It is ever-present.

“You, just what do you think you’re doing?” Rio demands, kicking in the door and busting into his room, just as Silvio knew he would. All pretense of polite butler dropped.

Silvio smiles while wetting his throat with a sip of rose wine, and chides Rio for his lack of manners. “Or have you given up on playing meek and mild?”

Rio scoffs that it’s dumb using honorifics and such with him, he doesn’t give a damn if Silvio’s royalty from some other country.

It doesn’t bother Silvio in the slightest though. In fact, if anything, he’s glad. It’s better to have Rio address him rudely, because he doesn’t like the formality of polite speech and it’s weird - he’s not used to hearing it from him.  

Rio storms over, his mad dog expression a bit nostalgic, and demands the key to the collar from him. A request which Silvio mocks.

He remembers the woman telling him at the jeweler’s gathering that if he wanted her to smile, he’d take the collar off. And how he’d told her she’d wear it the rest of her life. She’d railed that she wasn’t his pet, and he’d agreed - she’s not, she’s his possession. A statement that had only angered her further. 

Putting the collar on her is meant to harass this guy. There’s no point in taking it off that easily. 

And, he’d wanted to see Rio’s reaction. Just how much did the woman mean to the dog? The more valuable to him, the more worthwhile it is to steal her.

He tells Rio to sight tight and watch as he makes her his, and Rio demands he stop treating Emma as a thing to own.

“What are you going to do if I don’t?” Silvio counters, and Rio says he’ll do his duty as his lady’s loyal dog. “As a faithful dog?”

He’s legitimately surprised by the murderous eyes the dog’s glaring at him with, wondering when he learned to look at people like that…and a moment from the past comes to mind.

“Stop! Gimme that back!” a child's voice pleaded.

“If you want it, try taking it back,” Silvio had challenged.

It’s not as if it’s strange for people to howl and rail when something precious is about to be taken from them…but when it comes to the man in front of him, that’s hardly Rio’s usual reaction.

He says that he figured he’d get a rise out of Rio with the whole collar thing, but this was definitely more than he expected. “Do you care for your mistress as a butler, or…are you in love with her?”

Rio only scowls at him in silence, and Silvio laughs at having his suspicions reinforced, mocking him for possibly being so far gone on a woman.

“So what if I’m in love?” Rio challenges.

In love? This guy?? Silvio thinks.

This man’s only ever been the sort to have nothing he saw as important, living in a state of apathy. Treating everyone exactly the same, favoring nobody…protecting himself like a coward. 

But now, he turns red. “I love her, and she’s very important to me. So I’m begging you to not get involved.”

It comes out in a quiet, earnest voice…and Silvio wonders if all this is because he’s lost his memory? Or has something happened in the past three years to change him?

Both, perhaps. Though changing who you are isn’t some easy task. 

This is good, though, he tells himself. He hadn’t believed the woman to be worth so much, and he feels a shiver run through him.

“Given how much I can’t fucking stand you, if you’ve got something important to you I’m not about to just let it pass me by. I’ll make her fall in love with me. That woman will be mine.” He challenges Rio to do something about it if he doesn’t like it, but derides that he’ll only let the woman go if he gets all his memories back. 

You’re a coward, Silvio accuses in his thoughts. The kind of person who never loved anyone, despite being loved by everyone. You’re the one who’s being unfair.

His throat is suddenly dry - so dry he can taste blood.

Silvio muses aloud that he’s got an interesting idea, telling Rio he’s got a job for him to do tomorrow - no trying to get out of it. “You want me to take that woman’s collar off, don’t you?”

He promises to do just that, as long as Rio follows his instructions, and gives his word as a merchant he’ll follow through with it. Rio agrees, but warns Silvio he’d best not break his promise. 

“You either,” Silvio replies. 

Now then…let’s see how much money it takes to buy that woman, he thinks. Wanting nothing more than to take her away from him. If he can get a love that not even that damned dog can…

Silently watching Rio leave the room, he reaches for his glass again to wet his dry throat. But it’s empty before he even realizes it. “...Not nearly enough at all.”

Ahh, damn…so thirsty.

~~~~~~~~

<< Chapter 06 | Chapter 07 >> (tbc)

#spoiler #spoilers #ikemen prince spoilers #ikepri spoilers #mrs o loves salty seadogs #mrs o's #ikepri silvio main story

[cheeto-flavoured-pasta]

I’m chatting with a friend over some cookies-and-cream flavored Pocky sticks when a crumb drops onto their leg. They pick it up and eat it anyway, mumbling about how it always happens. I agree, saying it’s kind of annoying, because I have to sit there and debate whether it’s socially acceptable for me to pick the crumb off my leg and eat it or if I’ll look like a disgusting freak to any onlookers. Then they give me this kinda weird look, one I know really well — scrunched eyes, furrowed brows, a nose tipped in confusion. The kind that says, there’s a person out here who thinks like that?

“So? Who cares?” They shrug. 

I think about that more than I should, to be honest. Maybe I’m overanalyzing, but in that moment where they were questioning me — questioning why anyone would be so hyper-vigilant about such a trivial thing — I… just think I happened to realize. Fuck, that’s not normal. And the more I look back and move on with life, the more I notice it. The panic that sets in when I’m in public and drop something by accident. The constant anticipation of waiting for someone to make a snide comment when I slip up — and the eerie feeling in my throat when nobody does. It’s almost like no one actually cares. Almost. Did you really think I’d believe that fully? Don’t get ahead of yourself; I’m not that mentally stable.  

It’s fucking strange. I could be dabbing up a bit of water in the kitchen and right as I head to the garbage can, I pause. Grandma used to lose her shit if I ruined a perfectly good paper towel — and, by her definition, this was still clean because it was just a couple drops of water. How could I be so wasteful? Do resources not mean anything to me? Am I so unconcerned with the finiteness of the universe?

Anyone else would turn their nose up in disgust if I just left the paper towel there, right? Even if it was just a smidge of water, it was still wet and slimy and gross and no good to keep around. I’ve stared at the garbage can for several seconds now, almost half a minute, and the kitchen’s gone quiet. Wait, no — the kitchen’s been quiet, actually. There’s nobody here except for me. Whatever I do, who’s going to give a shit? Certainly not the couch or dish rack. The feeling doesn’t relieve me though. Without anyone to judge me, to dictate what I do to every single last second… I feel a little too free. A little too lost. Even though that’s what I’ve wanted to be — free, from judgement, from people’s constant nitpicking that had worked its way like needles into the flesh of my brain — it doesn’t feel right. 

I forget what I do with the paper towel and go on with my day. Next thing I know, I take three seconds too long to find a cup lid, or a pair of scissors, or I fumble with a dice as it slips between my fingertips. The embarrassment is stronger than usual, but it fades now that no one is here to judge. The fading isn’t any better, because it leaves me with this sense of emptiness and tension that holds taut like a string wrapped around something twice its size. 

I wonder if I should tell all this to my friend. The tension, the knee-jerk reactions, the constant worries of what the imaginary people in my head and in my room will say. And I think I already know how they’ll reply if I do tell them. They won’t say it in bad faith or malice, but just… concern. No judgement, for once, just concern. 

“Dude, I think you might have a problem.”

#are you ready for another bad poem? #(Pretend I sang that in my best Patrick Stump impression) #hey that should be my tag for these pieces #Just so I can compartmentalize them under one tag #anywho- #I started writing this one like a month ago when I felt like shit and I only finished it today #Pasta try to finish a prose poetry piece in one sitting challenge (impossible) #writeblr #prose poetry #poem #prose #writing community #writers of tumblr

[ravenadottir]

With the recent Oscar drama with Will Smith and Chris Rock, how far do you think the season 2 love interests would have to be pushed before they get physical with someone for disrespecting MC, if they would at all?

oh man, this whole thing about will smith smacking chris rock was... the only thing that made people google the oscars in a very long time. anyway, let's move on!

❝ᴇᴀsɪʟʏ ᴏɴ ᴇᴅɢᴇ❞

lucas. he definitely destroys people with arguments but... if pushed by a disrespectful type that is being insistent, sorry, lucas doesn't mince words nor punches. it doesn't have to be for a girlfriend by the way!

kassam. same as lucas, with less patience. a guy that has been harassing a girl will definitely get one from him. he doesn't give two fucks about it.

gary. the type to get to people's faces easily because one: his short fuse is as small as he is... you know the type! gary plays chill but watch him pop off on someone that has been disrespectful with someone that can't defend themselves! it could be bobby for all he cares, he's doing something about it.

lottie. i'm sorry, does anyone doubt she would slap someone in the club? 'cause i surely don't! charlotte doesn't have much patience to hand out and would definitely defend a friend, girlfriend or herself.

elisa. i would LOVE to see her pop off, and she would. i feel in many ways she and lottie are soulmates, and one of the twin reactions would be this one. she's skinny but feisty, don't push your luck doesn't matter your size.

❝ɪᴛ ᴛᴀᴋᴇs ᴛʜᴇᴍ sᴏᴍᴇ ᴛɪᴍᴇ❞

ibrahim. patience runs thick in his household. it would take something really serious or really recurrent to make him land a punch or a slap on someone. it would definitely be to defend himself or someone close to him, not only his girl.

carl. no, i didn't mispell. his post-villa story features a chapter about him losing control and absolutely laying a hand on one of the boys. that's what i feel it could drive him there, watching something happen for a while and let that anger pile up day after day. ((he's also the type that blacks out)).

priya. it would take a lot to actually make her raise her hand for anything, let alone to a nobody bothering them somewhere. granted if the insisting was from a guy i can see her popping off on him.

❝ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ɢᴏ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ❞

henrik. nope, as much as he would love to be more like lucas i kind of like that he's not. he calls the person out and demands an apology, but i can't see rik getting angry enough to lay a hand on someone.

marisol. everything can be discussed, whether when it happens or in front of a judge. she doesn't believe in violence against other people and would definitely call the police herself before things got out of hand.

bobby. yeah, no, the most he would do is respond louder. i don't see bobby exchanging punches, or even slaps with anyone.

❝ɪ ᴄᴀɴ sᴇᴇ ɪᴛ ɢᴏɪɴɢ ᴇɪᴛʜᴇʀ ᴡᴀʏ❞

noah. he's a very... incosistent person, so it's hard to predict what he would do, if he would be pushed enough to act on his anger or just leave it untouched. i can see him losing his temper and raising his voice but honestly? it can go either way!

#litg #litg bobby #litg carl #litg elisa #litg gary #litg henrik #litg ibrahim #litg kassam #litg lottie #litg lucas #litg marisol #litg noah #litg priya #fighting #queue

[sharonisthebettercarter]

the way cuntlander sees shit is strength in power and the use of fear as a control. I'm sure he's aware that certain actions are wrong- there's possible subtle implications that he admits that much when he acknowledges what vought did to him and doing to ryan is wrong; but in his mind what he's doing is ensuring his future as a "superhero" that is not to be trifled with with an heir to follow his example.

That being said, he definitely keeps getting worse; and in my mind that is due to the infuriated desperation to have control over shit. Every time he does something, it's questioned; he doesn't care if what he's doing is wrong, he just hates that others don't respect him. So if he can't get obedience with respect then he'll do it with fear and become increasingly more desperate and dangerous with each rebellion.

because that's what was used on him, it's literally all he's ever known so as they say, monkey see is monkey do.

there's implication that homelander is *not* self aware enough to recognize that what he does is wrong, he's literally not aware of this if his repeated mantra of 'i'm the homelander and i can do whatever the fuck i want' is any indication. he is aware that his actions may hurt/disturb/cause harm to others. but his belief is that he is above all that/a god/so he knows best and therefore--it's okay when he does it (whatever 'it' may be)

i.e. he is under the impression that they should accept and rejoice his actions, whatever they may be, when he does them.

also, he's not doing to ryan exactly what vought did to him, so i'm not sure what you're trying to say there anon. he can recognize that he despises what vought did to him and that he wouldn't want that for his son, but with vought making him believe he's a frickin' god able to do anything, all it does is give him a nasty case of exceptionalism.

and even then, he hardly cares what humans do with each other or what he does to them because they're mostly just animals to him, it's when they mess with *his kind* that it becomes a problem.

he's being influenced and pushed by situations and certain people (namely butcher now) around him. but if you had zero control over your own life and everything you had to do was decided by other people, wouldn't you be desperate and frustrated, vying for some semblance of control too?

honestly, at that point with everything that's happened? i mean homelander's reactions are just predictably common sense. it *makes sense* that he's gonna lose his shit, people keep *poking the bear* after how many years a this shit?? plus the nothing but enabling him further even when he fucks up? are you kidding??

he doesn't *know* that anything *he* specifically could do is wrong (he's the homelander, he can do whatever, how could it be wrong if he does it plus nobody could stop him/he deserves that right in his mind) and if goes way way WAY beyond simply hating that other people 'don't respect' him.

it comes back to the agency thing. he never had it, nor was he ever treated as a human being, nor was he ever truly loved, so of course that's gonna leave him in a lonely and frustrated place.

remember, his worst reactions are generally to people calling him a 'monster', above all else (he legit blanks out and goes full berserker in diabolical, having flashbacks, so i can only assume the scientists called him this a lot when he lost control but def didn't deserve it as a kid) so it's not as simple as 'oh he hates it', the perception people have of him is directly linked to his trauma and even causes visceral if not volatile reactions he def never learned to control. and it comes back to what he told starlight.

"i'd prefer to be loved, i would... but if you take that away from me, well... being feared is a-one okey-doke by me..."

he has been nothing but dehumanized, neglected, hated, and feared his whole life from the second he was created. fear, indoctrination, grooming and manipulation were also used as a means to control him. and still to this day, he hasn't been made consciously aware that none of this was 'normal' or justifiable, or that it shouldn't have ever happened to him.

"i don't want your fucking apology"

"too little, too late."

there's a part of him that can recognize it wasn't 'normal', but in the way that it doesn't meet the 'status quo' standard he was probably legit taught to long for. not so much in the way that, 'you have super powers yes, but you're still a person and deserve to be treated like one'

his mantra is a reminder. but not so much for us. we see him say it when he 's alone trying to reinforce the mentality. he's literally trying to convince himself that he *is* what vought 'made' him. the *god*. the *homelander*.

his reactions keep getting worse over time because people keep doing the same shit to him over and over, so he keeps pushing back the only way he was taught, and with him getting stronger/more unstable, well...

"Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."

i believe that one was from albert einstein but that is essentially what's been happening here.

boi's gonna blow his top and... well~...

i look forward to it~<3

and the inevitable carnage that will bring<3<3<3

#homelander #trauma #the boys #abuse #insanity #i look forward to it #and so the cycle continues #those that fail to learn from history #are doomed to repeat it #bring on the death and destruction #i need it #<3<3<3 #delicious

[mayxthexforce]

Headcanuary - Day 2

Prompt: weather.

A'Sharad Hett

Due to being born and raised on Tatooine for the first 15 years of his life and then spending the rest of it mostly on Coruscant, where the weather and temperature are carefully controlled by the artificial atmosphere, he can't handle cold weathers well. He's not used to it. Gets cold very easily even though he puts out a lot of heat. Whoever sleeps with him, get ready to get pulled into rib-crushing cuddles.

Kilindi Matako

You'll never meet someone who gets as happy about hot and humid weather as Kilindi does. It's her absolute favorite. While most other people are trying to stick under the shade and right beside an AC unit or just to stay as dry as possible, she's taking the time to bask in the sun without the risk of rapidly dehydrating or her skin drying up. It's the sort of day when people want to stay indoors, meanwhile she's trying to drag them out to do things.

Koska Reeves || Medrit Vasur

They have mixed feelings about rainy weather. On one hand, it's good for the land. On the other, it turns Mandalore into a muddy hellhole where no matter where you step you end up a few inches deep in mud.

Goran Beviin

He loves the rain. Nar Shaddaa didn't have any rain ever. Loves how after it rains the sky is clear and so many stars can be seen the night after a rainy day (stars was also something he just didn't get to experience growing up on Nar Shaddaa). He definitely isn't stopped by rain when it comes to having to go outside. Comes back with boots caked in mud but his armor? It's never been cleaner.

Luke Skywalker || Merrin

They love snow. They both come from places where it never snows at all, where —to them— snow was just a concept, a thing that other people got to experience– not them, never them. But then they got to leave their homeworlds and now they have to get dragged back inside, lips purple, because they want to be out in the snow as much as they can. My condolences to whoever happens to be there with them because there WILL be a snow fight. Merrin is far more ruthless than Luke is.

Maulkiller || The Dark Apprentice (Thunder verse)

The Kamino weather is ruthless and unyielding. A good weather day on Kamino is considered a day where it's raining so hard you can't see five feet in front of yourself, but the waves have yet to claim any lives. Because of this, the day Subject 1139 was taken out of his growth tank and allowed to roam certain areas of the facility, he was first faced with the storm outside, the lightning blinding him momentarily while the thunder shook the walls. Maulkiller was there to watch this, it was the first time he saw the scientists' so called perfect creation show any sort of reaction. Fear. Maulkiller knew Vader wouldn't like that, and decided to give the newest addition to Vader's menagerie a small mercy nobody else ever got, the mercy of some knowledge. With some context of what caused those wall-shaking, booming sounds, Subject 1139's fear soon themed to fascination, and Maulkiller ended up naming the new clone Thunder.

Melee

Due to spending her whole life on Tatooine, she hasn't gotten to experience many varied weathers. It's always either scorching heat, freezing cold nights, or sandstorms. But there was one time in her lifetime, just a couple days after the empire took over, when it rained on Tatooine. First, nobody could believe it was happening. Then, it was soon followed by almost everyone running out with as many buckets and containers as they could carry to fill with water, and just stand in the rain.

#may the queue be with you #||headcanons: kilindi matako|| #||headcanons: a'sharad hett|| #||headcanons: koska reeves|| #||headcanons: medrit vasur|| #||headcanons: goran beviin|| #||headcanons: luke skywalker|| #||headcanons: merrin|| #||headcanons: melee|| #headcanuary 2024