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commodoreseverus · 1 month

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In Another Life

- Pairing: Severus Snape x Original Female Character (Angelica Delacour)

- Information: Angelica is Fleur and Gabrielle’s older sister

- Warning: Major character death

It's been a few months since the Battle of Hogwarts, and because of the event, Angelica Delacour has lost her husband forever. To her, it seems to be years already since the battle, but in truth it's only been around 4 months. Angelica is only a 25 years old young lady and has only been married for 2 years, and she is already a widow.

Angelica still remembered the time when she told him that she is pregnant, he is so happy that he is going to be a father. Even though it was the middle of the war, it was a dangerous time, the couple still wanted to have kids. After Severus was killed by Voldemort's snake Nagini, her whole life changed. She will never be the same again, as her heart is already broken into pieces because of his death.

No matter how her parents and her sisters talked to her to move on and live with her parents again, she never listened. Angelica knows very well that it is difficult to live on her own when she is pregnant, but she doesn't want to leave the house that she and Severus had bought before the two married, as the house has everything that reminds her of Severus, someone she sorely missed. She didn't go and checked the baby's gender, as she remembered Severus has said that he wants it to be a surprise.

Angelica tried to recall the times that she has been with Serverus, the little moments they have after the two are married.

- Two months before the Battle of Hogwarts -

It's been a few days since she is sick, Severus is worried about her health. She has basically been vomiting for days and it still happens like every day. Severus soon cannot take it anymore and wants to take her to the hospital wing, and soon realise they cannot do that as Poppy and the others will not helped her, as they all thought Severus is a murderer. As Severus really wants to know what happened to Angelica, he takes her to a Muggle hospital to have a body check, to see what is happening to his wife, but of course he casted a glamour on the them both before they go there, so the Death Eaters or the Dark Lord won't find out.

As they had arrived at the Muggle Hospital, they faked their names as Tobi and Francesca Prince. They waited for 30 minutes before her name was called.

"Mrs Francesca Prince?" The nurse asked. Severus and Angelica immediately stood up and followed the nurse to the room. "Dr Samantha Blake is ready for you. Right this way Mr and Mrs Prince." the nurse said.

"Now we are here." the nurse said as she opened the door to room 3, "Come in," Dr Samantha Blake said.

Angelica slid into the white room with Severus gracefully, the two seemed to be nervous then and yet the doctor smiled at them and did the check ups, soon the result was here.

"Congratulations Mr and Mrs Prince, you two are going to be parents." Dr Samantha Blake said.

Severus and Angelica are in shock, but they are so happy about that, the doctor even put some gel on Angelica's tummy, telling her it is for the ultrasound.

"See here is the baby." Dr Blake said as she looked at the ultrasound, "here is the baby's head, and here are the baby's toes."

Severus and Angelica smiled at the ultrasound, this has shown how their baby looks like, "I want the gender to be a surprise, until our baby is born." Severus said softly while still looking at the ultrasound.

Angelica's heart ached as she remembered that bittersweet moment at the Muggle hospital. The news of their impending parenthood had filled her with joy and hope, even amidst the dark times of war. Severus had been overjoyed, his eyes shining with a mix of happiness and worry for his wife's well-being.

As the days turned into months, Angelica's grief over Severus's death mingled with her anticipation for their unborn child. She often found solace in the memories they had created together, cherishing every precious moment they had shared as a couple. The thought of raising their child alone was daunting, but she knew she had to summon the strength within her.

Angelica had chosen to stay in the house they had made a home, surrounded by familiar objects that carried the essence of Severus's presence. Each corner of the house held a cherished memory, and it provided her with some comfort in her solitude. The rooms echoed with both laughter and tears, a constant reminder of the love they had shared.

In the quiet moments, Angelica would often rest her hand on her growing belly, feeling the gentle kicks of their child, a connection that made her feel closer to Severus. She hadn't been able to bring herself to discover the baby's gender, honouring Severus's wish for it to be a surprise. It was a small thread of joy that she held onto, a gift from him that would soon bring new life into the world.

Days turned into weeks, and Angelica could no longer ignore the practicalities of her situation. She knew she needed to prepare for the arrival of her child. With the help of her family and close friends, she slowly began to gather the essentials, creating a warm and inviting nursery filled with soft blankets, toys, and books. The act of setting up the space for her baby brought a bittersweet mix of emotions—excitement for the future and a deep longing for Severus to be there by her side.

Angelica also sought solace in the support of her family, who were eager to provide her with a loving environment during this challenging time. Her parents and sisters had tried to persuade her to move back in with them, to surround herself with familiar faces and constant company. But Angelica knew she needed to navigate this journey on her own terms, within the space that held memories of Severus's love.

As the due date drew nearer, Angelica's emotions intensified. The weight of her loss felt almost unbearable, but she found strength in the presence of her child, a living testament to the love she and Severus had shared. It was a bittersweet realisation, knowing that her child would grow up without their father. Yet, she vowed to fill their lives with stories and memories of the brave man who had given everything to protect them.

On a warm summer evening, as the golden light filtered through the windows, Angelica sat in the rocking chair she had carefully chosen for the nursery. She gently cradled her swollen belly, whispering loving words to her unborn child, as tears streamed down her cheeks.

"Severus, my love," she murmured, her voice filled with a mixture of sadness and hope. "Though you cannot be here physically, your spirit lives on within us. Our child will know of your strength, your sacrifice, and the immense love you had for us. We will always cherish you, and you will forever be a part of our lives."

With each passing day, Angelica's anticipation grew. She was ready to embark on this new chapter, to bring their child into a world that was both beautiful and uncertain. Though Severus was no longer with her, his love continued to guide her, reminding her that even in the darkest of times, love and hope could endure.

And so, Angelica waited patiently, knowing that when the time came, she would welcome their child into the world, a testament to the enduring power of love and the strength of the human spirit. The house that once echoed with their laughter would soon be filled with the joyful laughter of their child, a precious legacy that would forever bind Angelica and Severus together.

As the days passed and Angelica's due date approached, the love and support from her family and friends enveloped her like a warm embrace. Her parents, Fleur, and Gabrielle stood by her side, offering comfort and assistance whenever needed. They understood that while they couldn't replace Severus, their presence brought a sense of unity and belonging that helped Angelica cope with her grief.

Gabrielle, Angelica's younger sister, would often sit with her in the nursery, sharing stories about their childhood and memories of their parents and grandparents. Fleur, her other younger sister, would lovingly prepare nourishing meals for Angelica, making sure she took care of herself and the baby. Together, they helped her create a support system, a network of love and strength to lean on when the days felt darkest.

As the morning of the birth dawned, the sun peeked through the curtains, casting a warm glow upon the nursery walls. Angelica could feel the baby's movements becoming more pronounced, a reminder that the time was drawing near. She took a deep breath, steadying her nerves, and prepared herself for the journey ahead.

With the help of her family, Angelica made her way to St. Mungo's, the same hospital where she and Severus had once received the news of their child's impending arrival. The memories of that day flooded back, but she pushed aside the sadness, focusing instead on the joy of bringing new life into the world.

In the delivery room, surrounded by healers and her family, Angelica's strength was unwavering. She clutched Severus's wand, which she had kept with her as a comforting talisman throughout her pregnancy, and drew upon his memory for courage. The presence of her loved ones gave her the strength to endure, just as Severus had shown in the face of darkness.

After what seemed like both an eternity and a fleeting moment, the cries of a newborn filled the room. Angelica's heart swelled with love as she laid eyes on her beautiful baby girl. The healer gently placed the tiny bundle in her arms, and she marvelled at the miracle before her.

"It's a girl," the healer announced, and a mixture of joy and sorrow washed over Angelica. She had longed for Severus to witness this moment, but she also knew that a part of him would always live on in their daughter.

Her baby girl had dark tufts of hair and a pair of curious eyes that seemed to carry a hint of wisdom. Angelica couldn't help but see traces of Severus in those eyes. She smiled through her tears, knowing that her daughter would grow up knowing the love and sacrifice of her father through the stories she would tell her.

Angelica named her daughter Callista Seraphina Delacour-Prince, a name that held both strength and hope. Callista would know her father's legacy, and though she would never meet Severus, the love between father and daughter would bridge the gap between their worlds.

As days turned into weeks, Angelica settled into motherhood with the help of her family. She embraced the challenges and joys that came with raising a child on her own, cherishing every milestone and precious moment. The house once filled with memories of Severus was now filled with the laughter and coos of their daughter, a reminder that love could transcend even the deepest of sorrows.

She spoke of Severus often, sharing stories of his bravery, intelligence, and, above all, his love for them both. In her heart, she knew that their love had not ended with his passing—it had only taken on a different form, one that would forever guide and protect them.

Time moved forward, and as Callista's first birthday approached, Angelica decided to visit Severus's grave. It was the first time she had mustered the strength to do so since his funeral. With Callista in her arms, she stood before the tombstone, tears streaming down her cheeks.

"Severus, my love," she whispered, "look at the wonderful daughter we've brought into this world. She's so much like you. I wish you could see her, hold her, and feel her love. But know that you are always with us, in every breath we take and in every beat of our hearts."

As the wind rustled through the trees, Angelica felt a sense of peace enveloping her. The pain of loss was still there, but it was accompanied by a profound sense of gratitude for the time she had shared with Severus and the gift of their daughter.

In the years that followed, Angelica continued to nurture Callista's curiosity and courage. She watched her grow into a kind and intelligent young girl, a reflection of the man who had loved them both so fiercely.

And so, the Delacour-Prince family, with love as their guiding light, continued to forge ahead, honouring Severus's memory with every step they took. They knew that while the Battle of Hogwarts had taken him from their sight, it could never extinguish the love and legacy he had left behind.

#severus snape #severus tobias snape #severus snape x oc #harry potter fanfiction #severus snape fandom #severus snape fanfiction #harry potter #commodoreseverushp #battle of hogwarts #hogwarts #fleur delacour #gabrielle delacour

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gone-fishing-engines · 1 year

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DAY OUT WITH THOMAS PUFFING BILLY

Was very underwhelming, a post ⬇️⬇️⬇️

As I mentioned a few weeks ago, I was going to the day out with Thomas event at puffing Billy today! And honestly I'll start off with saying it was good, but not exactly what they promised.

To start, 'James' was supposed to be the leading engine taking us on our 40 minute trip. 20 there and back. I was actually surprised to see it was actually just puffing Billy himself on his normal line with his usual faceplate. Unless you had the front or back carriage, you couldn't see the engine at all. And we got one of the middle ones. :'^)

Obviously the little kiddies couldn't care less but it made me go MMMmm something doesn't add up here. Still, puffing Billy is an absolutely fantastic engine and it was great to see him pull and then take us backwards. Going over the bridge was probably my favourite part of the whole day.

Thomas was completely stagnant for the whole day. I knew this was the case as the website and event detailed that he wouldn't be pulling. This made a lot of families and children upset so they intercommed that 'Thomas was having some problems and can't take them right now' was pretty funny

Oh god

They played the entire all engines go sing-alongs on speakers THE WHOLE TIME. No rws media rep, no tvs rep, just all engines go. If you're a fan of it you'd love it but it was painful.

WHERE'S DIESEL?????

Oh.

There he is??? In a poster???? I might've missed him if he was there earlier in the day but they never specified if he was going to be around all the time or not. Or PHYSICAL?? HAHDGSHSH

Sir Topham- uhhhh let's not talk about topham. I brought Toby to see him but honestly I think Toby would get extreme whiplash and cry

THEY MISNAMED MY MAN BERTIE

???? How dare you ??

Scrimbly bimblos 💗💗💗 they had a photo opportunity line but I just walked to the side to get photos of these trucks

Some photos of me in my custom handmade skirt and hair bow! Also toby

And finally! The man the myth the legend, THOVIS

He was cute I won't deny it but part of me wishes he was pulling the train. Speaking of the train I wanted to commit throw child off carriage one just kept screaming and random inputs and I was done

SO ALL IN ALL, not bad! But not terrific either. I'd like to go on one of the other versions of this day in a different country it might be better. They didn't even have the dowt wooden railway Thomas. Just four characters from the original series and that was it.

#thomas and friends #ttte #ttte thomas #ttte diesel #puffing billy #trains #irl trains #day out with thomas #thomas the tank engine #mega post #ttte james #ttte toby

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whaleofatjme1920 · 3 years

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That car sex Brian x proxy reader was SO GOOD!! Can we maybe get a follow up of her telling Brian that she's pregnant, and him finding out he's gonna be a dad? (๑♡⌓♡๑)

Thinking About It Later

[Hoodie X F!Reader]

[Warnings: pregnancy, slight angst]

[AN: here you go, hope you enjoy!]

Sleeping with your group’s right hand, Brian was a dream come true. You’ve felt deeply for him since the moment you met him, and touching him how you’ve always wanted - if wishes could come true, yours certainly did that night.

He’s still the right hand of your group and you’re still essentially a runt just moved to ‘middle child’ status. Things aren’t any different between the two of you. Every now and then, Hoodie grins at you when he’s fronting or his hands linger on your forearms, hands and waist just a little too long, and Brian speaks far more gently to you than he did before.

He still makes your heart sing with just a glance.

So, why do you feel like you’d be anywhere but in his presence? Why do you feel like you should be anywhere but in his general vicinity? Why are you so flighty all of a sudden?

You broke one of the Operator’s cardinal rules: if one must have relationships, keep it so silent there are no traces when the deed is done.

And you thought that you followed that rule to its T, to the exact letter, but a few weeks later and you’re throwing up in the bathroom at 4 AM praying your group leader doesn't hear you and you know something is wrong. Your body is feeling different, and when you’ve missed your period, your suspicion grows stronger. There’s almost no doubt about it, but you still manage to sneak out one evening and get a few pregnancy tests.

“Don’t be surprised if we’re not back when you come back,” Masky says with a small hum as he twirls the car keys in his fingers.

“Why’s that?” You ask, pulling your bag’s strap up on your shoulder as you follow him out the door. Your other group members are chatting and leaning against the ugly minivan Toby stole. The sky is cloudy, so at least the car’s chrome isn’t blinding you this time. You take in the sweet air of the town you’re currently living in with your group.

Masky glances at his watch, narrowing his eyes slightly. “Big job. Gotta meet with some independents to get the work done. Not expecting to be back that soon,” he answers. “You gonna be okay while we’re out?”

You nod and wave to Toby and Kate who light up upon seeing you. “Yeah, I’ll be fine. Go have fun,” you say, a smile on your lips. It doesn’t reach your eyes until Brian looks over at you. And there it is, lighting up your eyes as much as lips. “Stay safe!” You call out, once again waving at your team.

“You t-too,” Toby chuckles as he slips into the back passenger seat.

“Gotta be dangerous going to the store,” Kate teases as leans in the rolled down window of the car.

You roll your eyes. “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do,” you giggle, ready to head into town.

Brian scoffs playfully as he opens the passenger door. “I should be saying the same thing to you,” he says before Masky quietly chuckles for him to get in the car. Another smile your way and he goes in, and then the car peels out and to their destination.

You on the other hand, take a nice walk to the town, get some pregnancy tests, then rush back to the temp house to see if you’re that dreaded thing.

You’re scared for a lack of better words. Heart pounding, palms sweating, face contorted - scared.

A part of you feels like you can’t breathe. You’re directly going against your boss and you’re not sure how Brian is going to feel about this either. Is he going to be mad? Never want to speak to you again? You’re not sure, and the suspense sends you into tears. You’re not even sad, just frustrated.

You look angrily at the positive pregnancy steps and work yourself into a stupor in your tears, hands grasping the positive tests and throwing them with a scoff at your nightstand. You collapse on your bed and begin to let your tears fall, frustration lining and filling your body. You’re scared.

Brian ends up coming back to the temp house early the next morning by himself. Toby, Kate and Masky decided to stay the night with the independents. “We’ll find our way back,” they said. Brian has a horrible feeling he’s going to have to come get them in the evening, what a mess.

He sighs and steps into the house, quiet, as to not disturb you, when his heightened hearing picks up something. Sniffling? Are you crying? He closes the front door quietly behind him and locks it before heading up the stairs to where your room is. He knows you’re prone to waking up crying, but this feels different.

Your door is slightly ajar, but Brian won’t enter without your permission. He knocks gently on the door. “Hey there, sugar, you awake?” He asks softly, voice quiet and low in case you’re still resting. He hears you shifting in the bed.

“Go away,” you mumble into your pillow.

Brian frowns. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

“C’mon, we both know lying isn’t going to solve anything,” he chides slightly. “Just let me in. We can solve this problem together.”

You wipe your remaining tears away before nodding slightly. “Okay… Come in,” you murmur.

Brian pushes the already open door further and enters in. He’s greeted to the sight of you rolled up in the blankets, head under the covers, unwilling to see him. He presses his lips into a frown again before closing the door quietly, then focusing on you. His fingers gently trail the edge of the bed before he sits down beside it. “What’s got you in such a state?”

“I think I made a mistake.”

Brian chuckles under his breath, hand petting your blanketed head. “What kind of mistake?” You take in a deep breath and look over at the nightstand.

Brian’s eyes follow your gaze and then he sees it. His heart stops. He leans forward and looks at the plastic sticks, his eyes glazing over - with what you aren’t certain with.

You hold your breath as he looks them over, the little plus signs making your head spin. “I’m so sorry-” you begin to apologize before you’re overcome by Brian’s warmth.

He’s pulled you up from the blankets and hugging you tightly, his head buried into the crook of your neck. “How long have you known?”

You gulp as more tears well in your eyes. “A few weeks?” You whisper.

Brian pulls away from you slightly. His eyes are soft and gentle, a little scared, but ultimately, he looks at you with such deep, ardent love. His thumb wipes some of your rolling, salty tears away.

“You’re not mad?” You ask, shocked he’s not lashing out or screaming at you.

He shakes his head, “it took two to tango,” he says, a small smile on his lips. “Did you get any rest?”

You glance down at your place on the bed and shake your head, a sigh escaping your lips.

“Let’s get some rest then,” he murmurs as he moves the blankets around to get you settled back in again.

“But what about-”

“We’ll think about it when we wake up,” he cuts you off gentle. “Whatever happens with you, this,” he gestures to your abdomen. “We’ll figure it out together.” He knows the punishment for something like this, and the thought scares him ever so slightly. But for you? For you, he’d shoot the Operator himself.

You settle against Brian’s chest and take in his deep scent, already lulling into a sweet sleep.

Brian’s lips press on your forehead before he wraps his arms around you, encasing you in the safest place you’ll ever be.

#hoodie #hoodie x reader #hoodie headcanon #brian thomas #brian thomas x reader #brian thomas headcanon #marble hornets #marble hornets x reader #marble hornets headcanon #masky #kate the chaser #ticci toby

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hit-me-with-a-ladle · 3 years

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Ch.11 Creepypasta x Fem! Reader

Four days had passed since their first brawl. Toby had observed her staggering improvement and powerful determination to learn. He hadn't seen that kind of behaviour in a long time. As nightfall came they began to clear up and head back. Both tired from the long day of training, Toby walking in front of her as they went on their way. The walk was peaceful, the night sky illuminating from the dense array of trees as the crickets chirped their lullaby. The sky was littered with beautiful stars and the girl couldn't pry her eyes away from them, looking up in amazement like a child on Christmas day. Toby on the other hand wasn't paying any attention to anything around him, with his hands in his pockets and head down, eyes focused on the patchy road ahead.

The walk to the cabin was beginning to feel longer than usual, the air now becoming tense from all the silence, but the girl still didn't bother to speak up as she knew it was futile. Toby was a man of few words, always keeping to himself, there would be days where they would only say two words to each other. This was a drastic change from what she was usually used to with the others, especially Ben. " So." Her thoughts were cut off as she looked at Toby, who had now slowed down and was walking in since with her. " Um yeah." She sighed out, looking ahead both hands in her large pockets. " Ab-about the necklace." He continued still trying to put his thoughts into words. " What about it." Her eyes widened a little, not expecting him to bring that up as she looked at him pulling it out from underneath her jumpsuit and holding the tiny bottle between her rough fingers. " D-di he tells you wh-why he gave y-you it?" He asked in his usual bored tone. " Yeah, he did. It's for safety and protection. He gave it to me almost two weeks ago and I usually wear it most of the day." She answered honestly softly smiling as she looked at the pretty plant inside of it. It calmed her looking at it. " Interesting." He said to himself not wanting her to hear him but she still managed to.

Her eyebrow raised, why was he so interested in the necklace all of the sudden. " So...do you and Ben get along or...?" She said trying to further the conversation while they walked to the cabin. Toby was hesitant with answering the question, as he took a moment to think of the right response to such a subject. " Yes a-and no. But more n-no. I te-nd to avoid that blab-blabbering idiot but h-he has his moment at ti-times. Very few a-a-and in between but st-still there non the l-less," He answered simply glancing at her direction as he did.

The girl was intrigued by his answer, she assumed he despised him as they were the polar opposite. The assumption wasn't unprompted either, as Toby didn't seem to like most people. " But then ag-again, he tries t-to hard. He acts too m-uch like a child. It's frust-rating." He finally finished his thought, looking back at the road and softly closing his eyes as he walked, admiring the cool night air. He hadn't felt this clam in a while, he enjoyed the feeling. So much so as a small smile crept up his lips. It wasn't noticed by the girl standing next to him but he didn't mind.

In the distance, they could make out the cabin, relief washing over both their bodies like a title wave. " Almost there, finally I can rest." The girl announced dramatically, sighing. It made Toby eye her watching her hunched form drag her feet while walking. Almost close to collapsing. He grunted, at this rate they'd reach it till next morning, clearing his throat he hunched down sweeping her off her feet. She was startled by the sudden action as her eyes widened in surprise, now settled in his arms bridal style. " WHAT! What the hell are you doing? Put me down." She shrieked flailing her arms. But it was to no use as she was too tired to do any harm. Toby grunted as she thrashed, waiting for her to stop and when she did, he smiled softly picking up his pace.

The girl was surprised at how he was able to hold her weight, as he looked quite thin, but as her back pressed against his arms she could feel the defined muscle. Toby didn't say anything, he seemed like the extra weight didn't even affect him. She could hear his heartbeat, it was slow and quiet. The soothing rhythm made her relax even further melting into his arms. They finally reached the cabin, but Toby didn't bother to put her down, no he managed to open the door with her in his hands and she barely noticed. Walking inside, warm air hit his face making him sight. Going to the living room he carefully set her down on the couch and stepped away.

The girl sat upright, her whole body resting as she softly smiled. It had been a while since she could get some rest. Toby had walked to the kitchen slowly lowering his mask and pouring himself some water, looking into the living room while he drank it. He could see the back of the girls head. " Did you also have to train as I do?" The girl's voice broke his peaceful trance. He cleared his throat pondering on his answer as he usually did. " Not r-really." He simply said rinsing the cup and putting it back into the self. " What do you mean by that?" She perfused, wanting to know him better. " Well," He sighed putting his mask back to place and walking towards her, sitting down on the armchair next to the couch. " You have y-y-your duties so you ne-need a different type of trai-ning and mentors. M-my mentor was much wo-worse than we a-a-are."

The girl let out a snort when hearing the last part, looking at him with a curious look. " Really, how so?" " He i-i-is a being co-comprised of pure e-evil so you could imagine it your-yourself." " Pure evil? Is this the Operator man everyone is talking about?" " Bingo." Shed started to get frustrated by how short his answer always was, shed has to ask multiple different questions to know the smallest thing. " What's up with this Operator fella? If he's so powerful why does he need a human guarding his forest?" " Easy. A human is a b-b-basic, morally grey, being. F-for example, you we-were chosen be-because you weren't all t-that good bu-but not all that bad, in the mi-ddle aka The middle-man. So it d-doesn't matter how po-powerful h-he is if there's no real ba-lance in the fo-forest and your j-j-job is to hold that balance." He finished taking a big sigh and slouching on the couch, making it clear that he didn't feel like talking anymore. Soon he would fall asleep.

The girl watched him thoughtfully, eventually getting up. They had finished a little earlier than usual, at this time she would be heading back to eat and then go to bed but something was telling her to look around the cabin, something she wasn't able to do. There were no bookshelves. Its walls were all very sterile and plain. Same for the kitchen. But something in her gut was telling her to go up the stairs, slowly approaching the railing she sighed, with every careful step she would look behind her to make sure Toby was asleep. Reaching the final step she let out a breath she didn't know she was holding, the narrow hallway felt longer than before, and she felt strange not immediately heading to the left.

Turning her body to the other side of the dimly lit hallway at the end was a door, she hadn't noticed it before. ' Was that there?' She asked herself approaching it and reaching for the gold knob. The door was painted in a thick layer of black paint, scratches and carving covering its whole surface, one of the larger carvings was crossed out circle. A chill when up to her spine when she noticed it quickly pulled back her hand. Taking in another harsh breath and mustering up the courage she turned the knob, but it didn't budge. She pressed her whole body on the door and began to push but it still wouldn't work, finally, she got frustrated and began to hit and thrash the door handle. But it still didn't move, so she had to reluctantly give up.

There was something important they were trying to hide and she made it a point to find out what it was.

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surveyhoursss · 3 years

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127.

Bold the ones that you know of!

2000

1.Who Let The Dogs Out? -Baha Men

2. All The Small Things -Blink 182

3. Amazed -Lonestar

4. Oops, I Did It Again -Britney Spears

5. Graduation -Vitamin C

6. Bye, Bye, Bye -N*Sync

7. Independent Woman -Destiny’s Child

8. Let’s Make Love – Tim McGraw and Faith Hill

9. Zombie Nation – Kernkraft 4000

10. I Turn To You – Christina Aguilera

11. I Knew I Loved You – Savage Garden

12. It’s My Life – Bon Jovi

13. Breathe – Faith Hill

14. Shake Your Bon-Bon – Ricky Martin

15. Blue (Da Ba Dee) – Eiffel 65

16. Goobye Earl – Dixie Chicks

17. Let’s Get Married – Jagged Edge

18. The Bad Touch – Bloodhound Gang

19. The Real Slim Shady – Eminem

20. Say My Name – Destiny’s Child

21. It’s Gonna Be Me – N*Sync

22. Party Up – DMX

23. Sexual (Li Da Di) – Amber

24. Country Grammar – Nelly

25. Aaron’s Party (Come Get It) – Aaron Carter

2001

1. Hanging By A Moment -Lifehouse

2. Allin’ -Alicia Keys

3. All For You -Janet

4. If You’re Gone -Matchbox Twenty

5. I’M Real -Jennifer Lopez ft. Ja Rule

6. Drops Of Jupiter (Tell Me) -Train

7. Let Me Blow Ya Mind -Eve ft. Gwen Stefani

8. Thank You -Dido

9. Hit ‘Em Up Style (Oops!) -Blu Cantrell

10. Independent Women Part I -Destiny’s Child

11. Again -Lenny Kravitz

12. It’S Been Awhile -Staind

13. Stutter -Joe ft. Mystikal

14. It Wasn’T Me’ -Shaggy ft. Ricardo “RikRok” Ducent

15. U Remind Me -Usher

16. Where The Party At -Jagged Edge With Nelly

17. Angel -Shaggy Featuring Rayvon

18. Ride Wit Me -Nelly Featuring City Spud

19. Peaches & Cream -112

20. Follow Me -Uncle Kracker

21. Drive -Incubus

22. What Would You Do? -Alicia Keys

23. Survivor -Destiny’s Child

24. Lady Marmalade -Christina Aguilera, Lil’ Kim, Mya & Pink

25. Ms. Jackson -OutKast

2002

1. A Moment Like This – Kelly Clarkson

2. Hot In Herre – Nelly

3. Complicated – Avril Lavigne

4. Girlfriend – N Sync & Nelly

5. Sk8er Boi – Avril Lavigne

6. Can’t Fight The Moonlight – LeAnn Rimes

7. Dirrty – Christina Aguilera

8. A Thousand Miles – Vanessa Carlton

9. Heaven – DJ Sammy

10. Gimme The Light – Sean Paul

11. The World’s Greatest – R Kelly

12. Jenny From The Block – Jennifer Lopez Featuring Jadakiss & Styles

13. Courtesy of the Red, White and Blue (The Angry American) – Toby Keith

14. Goodbye To You – Michelle Branch

15. Can’t Get You Out Of My Head – Kylie Minogue

16. The Game Of Love – Santana Featuring Michelle Branch

17. Young’n (Holla Back) – Fabolous

18. She Hates Me – Puddle Of Mudd

19. Starry Eyed Surprise – Oakenfold Featuring Shifty Shellshock

20. The Middle – Jimmy Eat World

21. Say I Yi Yi – Ying Yang Twins

22. Just A Friend 2002 – Mario

23. Hey Baby – No Doubt and Bounty Killer

24. Work It – Missy “Misdemeanor” Elliott

25. U Don’t Have To Call – Usher

2003

1. In Da Club -50 Cent

2. Crazy in Love -Beyonce w. Jay-Z

3. Get Busy -Sean Paul

4. When I’m Gone -Three Doors Down

5. Ignition -R Kelly

6. Baby Boy -Beyonce w. Sean Paul

7. This is the Night -Clay Aiken

8. Bring Me To Life -Evanescence

9. Right Thurr -Chingy

10. Unwell -Matchbox Twenty

11. Picture -Kid Rock w. Sheryl Crow

12. Drift Away -Uncle Kracker & Dobie Gray

13. Get Low -Lil’ John & The East Side Boyz

14. Beautiful -Christina Aguilera

15. I’m With You -Avril Lavigne

16. Miss You -Aalyiah

17. 21 Questions -50 Cent & Nate Dogg

18. Shake Ya Tailfeather Nelly -P. Diddy and Murphy Lee

19. All I Have -Jennifer Lopez & LL Cool J

20. I Know What You Want -Busta Rhymes & Mariah Carey

21. Magic Stick -Lil’ Kim w. 50 Cent

22. Bump Bump Bump -B2K and P. Diddy

23. Flying Without Wings -Ruben Studdard

24. Here Without You -3 Doors Down

25. Work It -Missy Elliot

2004 (my birth year !! )

1. Yeah! -Usher

2. Burn -Usher

3. This Love -Maroon 5

4. The Way You Move -Outkast

5. If I Ain’t Got You -Alecia Keys

6. Hey Ya! -Outkast

7. I Don’t Wanna Know -Mario Winans

8. The Reason -Hoobastank

9. Confessions Part II -Usher

10. My Immortal -Evanescence

11. Naughty Girl -Beyonce

12. Let’s Get It Started -Black Eyed Peas

13. My Boo -Usher and Alecia Keys

14. She Will Be Loved -Maroon 5

15. The First Cut Is the Deepest -Sheryl Crow

16. Toxic -Britney Spears

17. Someday -Nickelback

18. I Believe -Fantasia

19. Breakaway -Kelly Clarkson

20. Slow Jamz -Twista

21. Dirt Off Your Shoulder -Jay-Z

22. Freak-A-Leek -Petey Pablo

23. The Way -Clay Aiken

24. Numb -Linkin’ Park

25. Dip It Low -Christina Milian

2005

1. We Belong Together -Mariah Carey

2. Let Me Love You -Mario

3. Since U Been Gone -Kelly Clarkson

4. Hollaback Girl -Gwen Stefani

5. Boulevard of Broken Dreams -Greenday

6. Don’t Cha -The Pussycat Dolls and Busta Rhymes

7. Candy Shop -50 Cent

8. 1, 2, Step -Ciara and Missy Elliot

9. Gold Digger -Kanye West

10. Don’t Phunk With My Heart -The Black Eyed Peas

11. Drop It Like It’s Hot -Snoop Dogg

12. Shake It Off -Mariah Carey

13. Disco Inferno -50 Cent

14. Behind These Hazel Eyes -Kelly Clarkson

15. Beverly Hills -Weezer

16. Just a Lil Bit -50 Cent

17. Lose Control -Missy Elliot

18. How We Do -The Game & 50 Cent

19. You & Me -Lifehouse

20. Soldier -Destiny’s Child

21. Rich Girl -Gwen Stefani

22. Mr. Brightside -The Killers

23. Oh -Ciara and Ludacris

24. Pon De Replay -Rihanna

25. Hate It Or Love It -The Game and 50 Cent

2006

1. Sexyback – Justin Timberlake

2. Hips Don’t Lie – Shakira featuring Wyclef Jean

3. Promiscuous – Nelly Furtado featuring Timbaland

4. Everytime We Touch – Cascada

5. Temperature – Sean Paul

6. S.O.S. – Rihanna

7. Beep – Pussy Cat Dolls

8. Waiting On The World To Change – John Mayer

9. Pump It – Black Eyed Peas

10. You’re Beautiful – James Blunt

11. Maneater – Nelly Furtado

12. Single – Natasha Bedingfield

13. What Hurts the Most – Rascall Flatts

14. Lean Wit It, Rock Wit It – Dem Franchise Boys

15. Walk Away – Kelly Clarkson

16. It’s Goin’ Down – Young Joc

17. Dance, Dance -Fall Out Boy

18. Smack That – Akon & Eminem

19. I Write Songs, Not Tragedies – Panic! At the Disco

20. We’re All In This Together – High School Musical Cast

21. Ms. New Booty – Bubba Sparx

22. How To Save A Life – The Fray

23. Rompe – Daddy Yankee

24. Check On It – Beyonce Featuring Slim Thugg

25. Chasing Cars – Snow Patrol

2007

1. The Sweet Escape -Gwen Stefani & Akon

2. Girlfriend -Avril Lavigne

3. Irreplaceable -Beyonce

4. Before He Cheats -Carrie Underwood

5. Crank Dat -Soulja Boy

6. Rehab -Amy Winehouse

7. Umbrella -Rhianna

8. Hey There Delilah -Plain White T’s

9. Glamorous -Fergie

10. I Wanna Luv U -Akon

11. Bubbly -Colbie Caillat

12. Walk It Out -Unk

13. Don’t Matter -Akon

14. Fergalicious -Fergie

15. Lip Gloss -Lil Mama

16. Candyman -Christina Aguilera

17. Break It Off -Rhianna

18. S.O.S. -Jonas Brothers

19. Stronger -Kanye West

20. Thks Fr Th Mmrs -Fall Out Boy

21. Pop, Lock and Drop It -Huey

22. Shut Up and Drive -Rhianna

23. Because of You -Ne-Yo

24. Home -Daughtry

25. Tattoo -Jordan Sparks

2008

1. So What – Pink

2. Just Dance – Lady Gaga

3. Leavin’ – Jesse McCartney

4. I’m Yours – Jason Mraz

5. Gives You Hell – All-American Rejects

6. Damaged – Danity Kane

7. Shake It – Metro Station

8. Love Story – Taylor Swift

9. When I Grow Up – Pussycat Dolls

10. I Kissed A Girl – Katy Perry

11. Don’t Stop The Music – Rihanna

12. Burnin’ Up – Jonas Brothers

13. Low – Flo Rida featuring T-Pain

14. Calabria – Enur featuring Natasja

15. Love Like This – Natasha Bedingfield and Sean Kingston

16. 7 Things – Miley Cyrus

17. Lollipop – Lil Wayne

18. Pocketful of Sunshine – Natasha Bedingfield

19. Circus – Britney Spears

20. Summertime – New Kids On The Block

21. Our Song- Taylor Swift

22. All Summer Long – Kid Rock

23. Closer – Ne-Yo

24. Viva La Vida – Coldplay

25. See You Again – Miley Cyrus

2009

1. Boom Boom Pow – Black Eyed Peas

2. I Gotta Feeling – Black Eyed Peas

3. I Know You Want Me (Calle Oche) – Pitbull

4. You Belong With Me – Taylor Swift

5. Lovegame – Lady Gaga

6. Don’t Trust Me – 3OH3!

7. Please Don’t Leave Me – Pink

8. Right Round – Flo-Rida

9. Poker Face – Lady Gaga

10. Goodbye – Kristinia Debarge

11. Say Hey – Evan Taubenfeld Michael Franti & Spearhead

12. New Divide – Linkin Park

13. The Climb – Miley Cyrus

14. Best I Ever had – Drake

15. Good Girls Go Bad – Cobra Starship Featuring Leighton Meester

16. Lucky – Jason Mraz and Colbie Caillet

17. Waking Up In Vegas – Katy Perry

18. Paranoid – Jonas Brothers

19. Wanted – Jessie James

20. Fire Burning – Sean Kingston

21. Not Meant To Be – Theory of a Deadman

22. Love, Sex and Magic – Ciara & Justin Timberlake

23. Use Somebody – Kings of Leon

24. Day N Nite – Kid Cuti

25. Hoedown Throwdown – Miley Cyrus (they let us learn the dance at res)

33 notes · View notes

shadowgeist-stars · 3 years

Text

Kitagawa First: So Heavy the Crown

It should've been like any other Monday. Toru and Iwaizumi should've gone about their day off from practice as they usually did. He'd brought his nephew home and the two had intended to get something to eat together.

They should not have seen Tobio, of all people, standing in the cemetery.

It was already unlike him to be away from practice with the other crows this early in the afternoon. Especially wearing an oversized jacket vaguely similar to what they wore back in middle school. The strange hoodie he wore was familiar, but somehow not quite right; it even looked a little big for him.

“What in the world is he doing out here?” Iwaizumi wondered.

“Let’s go check it out,” Toru suggested with a smile. This could be a perfect opportunity to learn something about their former junior.

He was talking, they realized as they drew close. To himself, most likely, but Toru decided to take the stealthy route to hear exactly what Tobio was saying.

“I didn’t make it to Shiratorizawa like you did… but I think I still found a good team… At least, I hope you’d like them. Shiratorizawa might be too different from when you were there anyway… I still think about what you told me, back then… how if I got really good at volleyball, someone even better would come find me. I thought I found that person in middle school where you used to coach… But I guess it didn’t work out how I hoped…”

A small pang in Toru’s stomach told him that was probably about him. He was able to look at the name on the gravestone Tobio stood in front of, though, as well as the birth-to-death dates.

Kazuyo Kageyama… 1936-2010… sounds like a grandparent. And a volleyball coach, as well? Hmm... Volleyball must simply run in the family.

“But now, I think I found someone who is like what you were saying,” Tobio continued to the gravestone. “He may not look like much. He’s short, super annoying, and kind of a dumbass… but he’s the fastest and highest-jumping spiker I’ve ever seen… And sometimes, he’s the best friend someone like me could ask for.”

His head eventually lowered, his body starting to curl in on itself like he was going to fall to his knees. The third years almost thought they were starting to hear him sniffle.

“I just wish you could meet him, and everyone else… I think you’d like meeting them all. Sugawara and Asahi and Daichi… All the second years like Noya and Tanaka… maybe even Tadashi and Tsukishima and our managers and our coach and Mr. Takeda…” He crumbled to the ground with a sob. “I just… I miss you, Grandpa. More than Miwa or our parents. I have ever since…”

That was when the name finally clicked. Kazuyo Kageyama was the old coach of the infamous local ladies volleyball team, the Kitagawa Birds, who was forced into retirement due to illness. If both Tobio and this Miwa were related to him and he taught both of them volleyball from a really young age, it would’ve made sense that Kageyama would be such a good player so early on. And since the date said he died during Tobio’s second year in middle school… that had to have hit him hard.

Possibly… hard enough to make him into what Kunimi and Kindaichi called “the King of the Court.”

Iwaizumi took a small step closer, flinching when he stepped on the grass in just the right way that would make noise. Enough noise for Tobio to flinch away from the source and twist backward to see them both standing there. And more importantly, for them to see the tears starting to dribble down his face.

“Uh-um… what are you two doing here?” he asked, trying to clean his face with his sleeve (most likely to be his grandfather’s jacket).

“We’d ask you the same thing, but we heard enough to answer for us,” Toru replied. “Please, don’t let us stop you.”

Iwa slapped him on the back of the head. “Ignore him. We were just wondering what you were doing away from your team in a place like this.” His eyes scanned the gravestone once more, guiding Tobio into a position where the three could sit together. “You never really told any of us about your grandfather back in middle school, did you Kageyama?”

The first year shook his head.

“Didn’t think so… Well, if you’re feeling up for it with your old upperclassmen… care to share?”

Tobio drummed his fingers on top of one another for about a minute, before nodding slowly.

“Alright, let’s start small. Was your Grandpa the, uh… reason, why you got into volleyball?”

Tobio looked to his grandfather’s grave. “Sort of. He and my sister, Miwa, would always tell me about how I managed to get my hands on her volleyball when I was… a baby… and how I didn’t wanna let go of it. That might’ve been where it all started, but since Grandpa is the only one I really remember raising us, we’d both usually be with him when he was coaching the Kitagawa Birds, playing with some of the ladies, helping them practice, or just passing a ball to each other in a corner of the gym or practicing ourselves with the wall.”

The small story piqued Toru’s interest. Frankly, he found the mental image adorable, seeing a baby Tobio holding onto a volleyball and somehow keeping a grip on it with hands no bigger than the end of his thumb. His memory might be a little faded, but something similar could’ve happened with his nephew Takeru. And Tobio Kageyama, not actually being an only child… He couldn’t help wondering if that sister of his looked all that similar.

Iwaizumi seemed to like how it was going so far. “Okay. We remember you wanted to go to Shiratorizawa even back in middle school. Did your Grandpa have something to do with that?”

Tobio nodded. “He used to be a middle blocker for their team. Showed me his old yearbook and everything. Probably before the current coach showed up, though.”

“So it really does run in the family,” Toru commented. “Guess I shouldn’t be surprised though.”

The smaller boy shrugged. “Miwa wound up quitting volleyball after middle school. She was getting more into fashion and stuff anyways, and didn’t like how she was always being told to cut her hair. At least, I think that was the reason.”

Wow. That, Toru could get behind, no questions asked. Sure, he wouldn’t give up volleyball for the world, but he’d definitely take offense if he was always being told to do something like change his looks or cut his lovely hair. That said, it was good to hear Tobio’s sister found her own calling, even if it wasn’t sports-related.

“Kinda wish you were able to introduce your sister and grandfather to the team, Kageyama,” Iwaizumi remarked. “They sound like it’d be pretty interesting to meet them both. Wasn’t your grandfather still coaching in middle school?”

The dark heaviness returned to the young setter. “No… Grandpa was already in and out of the hospital for a long time by then; more one than the other, though. He was able to keep on a brave face for me… but in second year, after you left, he… he…” his voice started quivering, the tears starting to return with new fury. “He left us behind… left me behind… I couldn’t even cry at his damn funeral because it never really hit me! And then after he left… Miwa had to get ready to move away for university… Our parents were distant enough even before he died, and… and then my own team left me!” He wrapped himself tight in his grandfather’s jacket, hands even moving to tangle into his hair. “I was all alone… I didn’t even know what I did wrong… Why all of a sudden I didn’t have anyone anymore!… Why?... Why, why, why?!”

Iwaizumi was quick to hug Tobio from the side, glaring over at Toru until he mirrored the action. It had already been clear enough that Tobio had been holding this all in for a long time. How just losing one person -- closer to him than anyone else in the world -- made him go from a sweet and eager-to-please junior (who still reminded Toru of Ushijima in some ways) to the bad-tempered dictator whose team got so fed up with him that he was given the boot.

No wonder, Toru thought to himself, sadness and guilt pooling in his stomach again. No wonder Tobio became so self-reliant. No wonder he underwent such a change in temperament. What kind of void did middle school leave behind while no one else was able to see?

First, he lost the two of us.

Then he lost his grandfather.

Then he lost his sister.

…Then he lost his team.

He understood now, to some extent. Kazuyo Kageyama didn’t just introduce his grandson to volleyball; he was the reason why the boy loved it so much. But when he left, so did the better parts of Tobio. There was no family or friends to help him carry that weight; it was just him.

Him, and the weight that threatened to crush him, that so many were so willing to call a crown. A tarnished, broken, absurdly heavy crown that they were only beginning to realize here and now.

Until by some miracle, Karasuno and that little shrimp brought him back to some semblance of his old self. Before them, he was left with nothing and no one but himself to rely on. He carried all of that grief, guilt, and frustration on his head for the better part of two years, not knowing what to do with it or with himself.

So they let him cry. They let him drop those long years of forcing down his grief over who he loved most, in loud, chest-ripping wails. Iwaizumi ensured they both kept him wrapped up in their arms, maintaining that small reminder that he should’ve never had to endure that alone. The spite Toru felt for Tobio all that time seemed to melt as well, filling in all the blanks for why he was such a good player and so eager to please and so not deserving of such hatred. Every assumption he made was dissolved by the knowledge about a single person.

“Huh? Toby, what are you doing over there?” a new voice inquired after a time they didn’t give any thought to. “And who are your friends?”

Toru looked through blurred vision at an approaching woman. She was probably around their age, with black, meticulously-styled hair and -- once he blinked away the mist -- deep blue eyes very similar to the first year he and Iwaizumi were hugging.

“Mi -- Miwa…” Tobio managed to hiccup out. The woman held a hand out to him, something he looked at with an almost painful mix of confusion and disbelief before he took it and let her pull him up. And even then, he barely maintained his composure long enough to droop over her shoulder, gripping at her in a desperate hug.

“Shh… I know, Toby, I know…” she soothed, rubbing circles into his back. “I miss him, too… I’m so sorry, Toby…”

He stayed there a little longer before numbly stepping away, wiping his face with his sleeve again.

The Seijoh players were shattered by the look in his eyes. The way they looked so… dead, and tired.

How did no one realize he was becoming like this?

Tobio almost swayed another direction before Iwaizumi stepped in and grabbed him. “Easy there, kiddo. Just lean on me -- there we go.” He looked over to the woman with a dip of his head. “I’m Hajime Iwaizumi, and this jerk over here is Toru Oikawa. We knew Kageyama back in middle school.”

The woman seemed to scan the two of them, almost skeptical.

“We’d be happy to help you out with Tobio,” Toru offered, all too happy to take on the diplomatic duty he was so used to. “He was telling us about his grandfather, you see, and it’s clear how much has been on his shoulders since his passing. We were doing what we could as his old upperclassmen.”

“I see…” Miwa replied, turning on her heel. “Follow me. My car’s not far from here.”

Iwaizumi had decided to sit in the backseat with Tobio, keeping him steady as he all but dozed on his shoulder. Toru rode shotgun while the Karasuno player’s sister drove them to the Kageyama household.

“I can’t believe he’s held onto Grandpa’s old track hoodie this long,” Miwa commented. “Well, I guess I shouldn’t be surprised.”

“Because he and his grandfather were that close?” Toru inquired.

The woman nodded. “Even closer than I was with either of ‘em. Grandpa was really all he had, ever since… well, there was always that one thing our parents didn’t like for some reason.”

...Secretly, Toru had a feeling he knew what exactly “that one thing” was. He had his suspicions of the way Tobio behaved, almost entirely fixated on volleyball. The way he subconsciously reminded him of Ushijima. Who knows? Perhaps even the famous Ushiwaka was introduced to volleyball that early on as well, and had the same sort of mind.

“I suppose that’s simply an unfortunate truth with some people,” he replied offhandedly. “I’ll admit, I and some of our current teammates weren’t exactly fond of him in middle school. But then again, none of us had a clue about his personal life, and I’d wager Tobio didn’t even give himself time to grieve.”

“I guess I can’t blame you there. Toby never consciously dwelled on things that he didn’t think he had to, for better or worse. He wanted to be just like Grandpa, but after graduating from middle school not being able to get into Shiratorizawa, he figured volleyball was the only thing he had left.”

“And even then, he was all on his own,” Iwaizumi finished from the backseat when they stopped at the house. He even helped carry Kageyama inside. “We all knew how Oikawa gave the poor kid a hard time when he was still an eager-to-please prodigy in his first year, and even heard how his sudden change in attitude in his second year left him ostracized by the team. Though we never saw the other side of the story until now.”

He didn't even need to say it was because they refused to hear it.

After the Aoba Johsai players put the younger boy to bed, they both went to the bathroom to wash their faces of tears. On the way back down, they discovered the pictures that littered the house. A happy family that comprised of parents, a grandfather, and a little girl. But when a baby boy appeared, there was only one of all five before the parents all but disappeared. The only ones after were the two children and their grandfather.

In all of them, the grandfather in question sported a wide, proud smile. Whether it be with a far younger Miwa trying to brush his hair, tossing a volleyball with the even younger Tobio, or all three of them together, he still had that smile. A sort of light that went missing when he passed away, leaving both of his grandchildren behind.

“Your grandfather must’ve been quite a splendid role model for the both of you,” Toru said softly. “A light that even Tobio didn’t deserve to lose.”

Miwa hummed thoughtfully, leaving some tea to steep in a pot. “I don’t think Toby even realized how badly he was hurting. Honestly, I kinda wish I didn’t have to leave him so soon. If I knew how badly he was affected by Grandpa’s death, I would’ve held off on school just to make sure he’d have at least someone to be there… Maybe I just put too much trust into his teammates supporting him.”

Because Kindaichi and Kunimi thought he was nothing but a dictator at the sport. They didn’t think for a second that he might’ve just been lonely or in pain.

…Then again, neither did we.

“I don’t think you have to worry much about him now, though,” Iwaizumi pointed out. “We know we failed the poor kid, as his former teammates and as his upperclassmen, and we’re far from the only ones who did so. But I plan to make sure we fix that.”

Toru smiled at the ace’s declaration, looking towards Tobio’s room. Even if the now-sleeping boy may never really trust Toru again, at least his beloved might be able to get through to the younger setter. If they find the chance, they might even get Kindaichi and Kunimi to understand as well, and enlist their help in making amends.

“Besides, ever since joining Karasuno, we can tell he’s doing a lot better,” Toru added. “He’s… finally found a place where he fits in. And I for one doubt those crows will leave him the way we did, especially not his new little go-to spiker. Whether he finds it in him to tell them about this or not, I can at least be confident that they’ll stand with him.”

Miwa smiled at them both, finally pouring the tea for all three of them. “I’m glad for that, you two. Toby needs a lot of friends to make up for not having anyone before. Whether they know about Grandpa or not, I just want him to find a family of his own, if only to make sure it’s not just the two of us looking out for each other.”

The two young men could only stick around for about another hour, conversing with Miwa and looking after their former underclassman. They told her about each of the crows to the best of their ability, the woman occasionally throwing in her two cents about whoever Tobio actually told her about. When the sun said they had to head home, they gave Tobio one last check before they left with a final goodbye and thank-you to Miwa.

As they left, though, Toru couldn't help but take a final look at the almost foreboding Kageyama household, holding onto his boyfriend's arm. "Iwa… do you think Tobio will tell his other teammates about his grandfather? Should he?"

Iwaizumi sighed. "It would probably be a good idea, but I doubt it. He'll probably tell the little sunspot and Karasuno's other setter, if no one else, but only time will tell."

…I guess that's true, Toru thought to himself dully. Only time will tell, and trust as well…

#haikyuu!!#iwaizumi hajime #oikawa torū #tobio kageyama #Kazuyo Kageyama #Miwa Kageyama #Grief #kitagawa daiichi #hq #shittykawa #He realizes he made a big fucky wucky #someone's gotta do it

27 notes · View notes

thxngam · 3 years

Text

@icantthinkofausername613 asked, so here goes part 2 of sam seaborn-centric fics! i was gonna add onto the last one but that would be a rlly long fic, so @d1sasterbi, here’s part two of your ask!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/13592--Three wins by sloganeer: sam, during three elections! pretty short but it’s a good read :)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/66650--Five Things That Weren't Comforting by out_there: similar to a fic I put on pt 1 called called Sunshine Days but stil different! 5 AUs of stuff that never happened (personally, the second AU is my favorite) to Sam. it’s some great writing!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/66645--Initial Conditions by out_there: sam during SGTE, SGTJ from josh’s persective! it’s got some fairly explicit sex though in the middle, and i’m not ever sure it’s super sam-centric, but it’s definitely enough to qualify for this list. also, it’s so good! like sam and josh’s relationship, the way it’s written, i just...it’s so good.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/66649--The Right Word by out_there: clearly, this author is good! from’s sam’s pov as he tries to make sense of his relationship with josh and his view of writing and diction, yknow all those writerly things! a really good peak inside his head.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/2755--Everything he almost had by Punk: a kinda sad AU where bartlet isn’t so great and toby gets out and..well a lot. it’s a really good look at an AU version of sam where he’s not quite so sam-like with his ideals and his righteousness and his energy. this is quite good, i really suggest reading it

https://archiveofourown.org/works/13495248--By Your Side by UndeadRobins: so cute and from sam’s pov so here it goes! it’s so good! a 5+1 of josh being a clumsy idiot and sam going with him to the hospital. very good and also sucha contrast from the last rec lol

https://archiveofourown.org/works/8162224--The Future Belongs by ETraytin: a way-in-the-future fic of the next gen of Seaborns to be president. very sweet! it’s just...it’s nostalgic for some reason, and it’s so cute and happy i just...ugh. it’s so fuckin positive lol

https://archiveofourown.org/works/3925696--an american girl raised on promises by rillrill: female! sam. so good - sam has some, uh, questionable beliefs (internalized misogyny who?), but it’s such an interesting look at the character from a different lens.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/2494772--Change by polyamorousgraysexual: sam and bartlet. sam had such interesting parallels with bartlet when he was there and this is sort of a culmination of all those things in one straight conversation. it’s got a fair bit of humor also it’s (i feel like i keep saying this but it’s sort of the point of this list) a nice examination of sam? like why he does what he does? it’s in 2nd person though, and while i’m not always a fan, that works rlly well for this fic!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/5950648--Learning How to Fly by Avon7: Sam’s thoughts on his inauguration. it’s like...so in character. it’s got all of sam’s twisty, wordy mental stops in one internal monologue on the biggest day of his life in the AU. so good. also what i think sam would think/say in canon if we ever got a seaborn for president scene in canon (idk why we would but if we ever did, this would be what happened)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/12791685--Vere Vivere by ninjalanternshark: literally i’ve put this on so many lists. trans sam, and a lovely character study of him becoming who he always was and his career. i just...i really love this fic. sam’s a great character in canon, but AUs like these always my heart happy :)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/2407673--Driving The Future by AndreaLyn: technically sam has literally no lines in this fic. but it’s also literally about sam. so. josh and leo have a conversation about Sam’s “lateral career slide”. I swear it’ll make sense if you read the fic and I like it so here ya go.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/322850--Heart, Temper, Touch by @snowdarkred: another female!sam fic but also she’s a lesbian and people are bigots. it’s sam and her relationships with the rest of the senior staff and bartlet and how she navigates her career and her sexuality. this is a wonderful fic, it’s like...oddly gratifying. ive put it on more than one list, it’s so good!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/218297--Five Months by candle_beck: sam being hyperfixated on five months of his and josh’s relationship. it’s wonderful and so true to the character. sam hyperfocuses on these things and this is a really great fic that translates that to established-but-not-by-much samjosh

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11769843/1/Seaborn-for-America--Seaborn for America by Every Shade of Blue: so i dislike ff.net bc it’s format makes my eyes hurt and its tagging system is abysmal. all the same, i adore this fic and just about all of this author’s tww fic, which is mostly sam-centric if you’re interested! sam is gonna be president but is oddly surprised that nobody else is surprised.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/28180788--Half Light by an orphaned account: this fic is sad and does not have a happy ending but it’s got mallory in it! i’m also pretty sure i’ve answered another ask abt this. sam on his career, the events of 20 hrs in America (that’s what those two fics are called right?), and josh

https://archiveofourown.org/works/25152565--Just a Cough by Nkala99: sam’s got asthma. like an idiot, he doesn’t tell his coworkers. is this an AU? yes. do I care? nope. should you read it anyway? yeah.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/21651001--Dark by WaterSoter: sam, after he’s been told the president has MS. so good and kinda heartbreaking? it’s written really well but it’s so sad to me

https://archiveofourown.org/works/326546--turning speechless by @snowdarkred: an extension of the parallels between Sam and Bartlet. tw for child abuse. really really good!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/27159944--Articulation is to Reciprocation by @cauldronoflove: literally THE sam fic. if you read none of the other fics (which, shame on you), read this one. it’s sam’s whole ass thought process with humor and feelings and banter, i just...what can i say? i love this fic, i love this author, read it. read it twice

so this is long af and i considered breaking it into three but that seems excessive, even for me. if yall want me to do rec lists for the major senior staff i can try? i mean that might be fun. idk, lemme know.

anyway, i realy suggest you read all of these (and the fics in part one! the OG ask is here (https://thxngam.tumblr.com/post/650354718322966528/do-you-have-any-favorite-sam-centric-fics-for)). read them all. read them twice. and as always, leave a comment/kudos when you like something! it’s simple, free, and an easy serotonin boost for these authors!

#the west wing #ask #not technically an ask but yknow what?#idc #sam seaborn

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shirlleycoyle · 3 years

Text

How 9/11 Became Fan Fiction Canon

Every fictional character you can think of has experienced 9/11 in fanfiction.

A Clone Wars veteran with two lightsabers is on United Airlines Flight 93 and prevents it from crashing. Ron and Hermione get caught up in the chaos as the towers fall. Buffy the Vampire Slayer and her friends watch the attacks unfold on TV from Sunnydale. We have spent 20 years trying to process what happened on 9/11 and its fallout, and that messy process can be tracked through the countless, sad, disturbing, and sometimes very funny fanfiction left across the internet.

Many of the fanfics written in the weeks and months following the 9/11 attacks seemed to directly respond to the news as it happened, processing the tragedy in real-time through the eyes of characters they loved. In the absence of a canon episode where Daria Morgendorffer paid respects to those lost, writing fanfic about these characters also experiencing trauma helped fans cope.

One YuGiOh fanfic published on fanfiction.net in May 2002 could have been ripped exactly from what this writer experienced that Tuesday morning. “It started as a normal day,” user Gijinka Renamon wrote. Yugi and his friends were in school, where their teacher informed them of the attacks and sent everyone home from school.

“After reading people’s 9/11 fics, I decided to write my own, and put a certain character in it. And Yugi and his pals were my first choice,” the author's note reads, explaining the connection they felt to United flight 93 and the World Trade Center attacks. Given that they lived in Pennsylvania, and “it’s close to New York, I felt really sad about it.”

Stitch, a fandom journalist for Teen Vogue, told Motherboard that this reaction to 9/11 is not at all uncommon in fandom.

"Fandom has always been a place that positions nothing as 'off limits,'" she said. "Historical tragedies like the Titanic sinking and atrocities like… all of World War 2 show up regularly across the past 30 years of people creating stories and art about the characters they love. So, on some level, it makes sense that 9/11 and the following 20-year military installation in the Middle East has joined the ranks of things people in different fandoms turn into settings for their fan fiction."

Reactions depicted in a handful of Buffy the Vampire Slayer fanfics published in the weeks after the attacks ring a little truer to the characters. “Tuesday, 11th September 2001,” written by Anna K, almost echoes the lyrics from “I’ve Got a Theory,” one of the songs in the musical episode that aired in November 2001. “We have seen the apocalypse. We have prevented it. Actually, we’ve prevented quite a few. So we know what they look like,” they write, before taking a darker turn. “They look a lot like…New York today.”

Killing demons and vampires doesn’t phase the Scooby Gang, but when preventable human death is brought into the picture, it’s gut wrenching.

“What am I supposed to do…When I can’t do anything to save the world?” Buffy cries into Spike’s chest, watching the attacks unfold on TV in a fanfic the author described as being “about feeling numb and helpless.”

In “Blood Drive,” Kirayoshi writes about Buffy and her friends saving a van full of donated blood meant for victims of the attacks from a group of thirsty vampires. One Buffy the Vampire Slayer fic even takes a blindly patriotic turn, where noted lesbian witch Tara McClay helps Xander hang an American flag from the window of the magic shop to make Anya feel better.

Experiencing 9/11 as a young teenager was overwhelming not just because of the loss of life. Almost immediately after the event itself, it was as if the entirety of American culture re-oriented itself towards an overtly jingoistic stance. As we get distance from the attacks, seeing the tone of television and movies from the early 2000s is jarring, and some have gone viral on Twitter. In the world of pop music, mainstream musicians like the Chicks, formerly known as the Dixie Chicks, were blacklisted from the radio while Toby Keith sang about putting a boot up the ass of terrorists. On the Disney Channel, a young Shia Labeouf reading a poem he supposedly wrote about the events. The poem concludes with the line, "it's awesome to be an American citizen."

In a world so completely saturated with this messaging, it is not surprising that fanfic authors started including 9/11 in their work so soon after the event. Even The West Wing had a strange, out of continuity, fanfic-esque episode where the characters reacted to 9/11. In some cases, it made sense that the characters in the stories would be close to or a part of the events themselves.

"For characters like John Watson or Captain America, the idea works to an extent," Stitch told Motherboard. "In the original Sherlock Holmes works and the 2011 BBC series, Watson had just returned from Afghanistan. For Captain America and other Marvel heroes, 9/11 was something that was addressed in-universe in The Amazing Spider-Man volume 2 #36. Technically, 9/11 is 'canon' to the Marvel universe."

In “Early Warning: Terrorism,” a fanfiction for the TV show Early Edition in which a man who mysteriously receives tomorrow's newspaper, predicting the future, avoids jingoism, but tries to precent 9/11 from happening. This fanfic remains unfinished; it’s unclear if the characters successfully prevent 9/11 in this retelling.

Largely in fanfic from the era just after 9/11, when many young authors were trying to emotionally grapple with it, the characters don't re-write or undo the events themselves. It's this emphasis on the reaction to tragedy that colors the fanfiction that features 9/11 going forward.

Although fanfiction authors have been writing about 9/11 consistently since soon after the event, whenever that fanfiction reaches outside of its intended audience, it looks bizarre.

A screenshot of a Naruto 9/11 fanfic on the Tumblr subreddit comes without any context, or even more than two lines and an author's note. It’s impossible to suss out if this falls into the category of sincere fanfic without the rest of the piece or a publication date, but modern-day commenters on the Reddit thread see it as classic Tumblr trash.

Screenshot from r/Tumblr

“Bin Laden/Dick Cheney, enemies to lovers, 10k words, slow burn,” one user joked in the replies, underscoring the weirdness of Naruto being in the Twin Towers by comparing it to a What If story about Cheney and Bin Laden slowly falling deeply in love.

It’s hard to tell how much of the 9/11 fanfic and fanart starting a few years after the attacks is sincere, and how much of it is ironic, and trying to make fun of the very concept of writing fanfiction about 9/11.

A 2007 anime music video (in which various clips, usually from anime, are cut together to music) that combines scenes from The Lion King with Linkin Park’s “Crawling” and clips from George Bush’s speeches immediately after the attacks feels like the perfect example of this. Even the commenters can’t seem to suss out if this person is a troll or not.

There’s no way that My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic 9/11 fanart could be serious, right? Especially if the description pays tribute to “some of the nation's most memorable buildings,” and features five of the main characters as child versions of themselves. The comments again are split between users thanking the artist for a thoughtful remembrance post, and people making their own headcanon for why Twilight Sparkle is surreptitiously absent from the scene.

Screengrab via DeviantArt

There’s Phineas and Ferb fanfic that combines a 9/11 tribute concert with flashbacks to Ferb being rescued from the towers as a baby, written on the 10th anniversary of the attacks. It jumps from introspection to lines like, “‘Quiet Perry the Platypus. I’m trying to listen to these kids singing a 9/11 tribute.’”

The author's notes make it more likely that they meant for this to be a tribute piece, but it doesn’t quite make sense until watching a YouTube dramatic reading of it from 2020, fully embracing the absurdity of it all.

“For me, 9/11 is synonymous with war. It completely changed the course of my life," Dreadnought, the author of a Captain America fanfic Baghdad Waltz that sees Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes fall in love over the course of the war on terror, told Motherboard. "It’s the reason I joined the military, and I developed deep connections with people who would go on to deploy to Afghanistan and Iraq. These very much felt like my generation’s wars, perhaps because people I graduated high school with were the youngest folks eligible to serve at the time.”

Dreadnought told Motherboard that although they didn't deploy, their career has kept 9/11 and the trauma from it in their mind. After seeing that people who fantasize about Steve and Bucky getting together seemed particularly interested in reading fanfiction that related to 9/11, they decided to try their hand at it.

"I had to do something with all of that emotionally, and I’m admittedly a bit emotionally avoidant. So I learned through fic that it’s easier for me to process those feelings and the knowledge of all the awful stuff that can happen in war if I can turn it into something creative," Dreadnought said. "Give the feelings to fake people and then have those fake people give the feelings to readers!"

To Dreadnought, who is a queer man, the experience of researching and writing this was more cathartic than they first expected, especially as a way to navigate feelings about masculinity, military culture, and queer identity. But they said the research they did, which included watching footage of first responders at ground zero, was what helped them finally process the event itself.

"It was like a delayed horror, and it was more powerful than I expected it would be." Dreadnought said. "When I was eighteen, I was pretty emotionally divorced from 9/11; I just knew I wanted to do something about it. So coming back to it in my 30s while writing this fic, it was a very different experience. Even the research for this story ended up being an extraordinarily valuable exercise in cognitively and emotionally processing 9/11 and all of its second and third order effects."

Fanfiction that features 9/11 provides an outlet for people who still grapple with the trauma from that day. But Stitch warns that the dynamics of fandom and how it relates to politics can also create fiction that's less respectful and more grotesque.

"With years of distance between the stories written and the original events of 9/11, there seems to be some sort of cushion for fans who choose to use those events as a catalyst for relationships—and Iraq and Afghanistan for settings," Stitch said. "The cushion allows them room to fictionalize real world events that changed the shape of the world as we know it, but it also insulates them from having to think about what they may be putting into the world."

The tendency of turning these events into settings or backgrounds for mostly white, male characters to fall in love has the unintended effect of displacing the effects that the war on terror has had on the world over. Steve and Bucky might fall in love during the war on terror, but they would also be acting as a part of the American military in a war that has been criticized since it started. Fanfic writers in other fandoms have come under fire for using real world tragedy as settings for fic before. In the aftermath of the 2010 Haiti earthquake Supernatural fanfiction about the actors Jensen Ackles and Jared Padalecki going to the island to do aid became controversial within the fandom. There have also been fics where characters grapple with the death of George Floyd that is written in a way that displaces the event from the broader cultural context of race in America.

"A Captain America story where Steve Rogers is a 'regular' man who joins the US Army and 'fights for our freedom' post-9/11 is unlikely to deal with the war’s effect on locals who are subject to US military intervention," Stitch said. "It’s unlikely to sit with what Captain America has always meant and what a writer is doing by dropping Steve Rogers into a then-ongoing conflict in any capacity."

After enough time, “never forget” can even morph into “but what if it never happened?” A 19k+ word Star Wars alternate universe fanfic asks this question, wondering what would have unfolded if someone with two lightsabers was on United Flight 93. This fic, part of a larger fanfic series with its own Wikia, considers what would have happened if Earth was a military front in the Clone Wars.

In this version of events, a decorated general who served in the Clone Wars is able to take back control of Flight 93 before it crashes, landing safely and preventing even more tragedy from happening that day. In the end, all of the passengers who made harrowing last calls to their loved ones before perishing in a Pennsylvania field survive thanks to the power of the Force, and are awarded medals of honor by President Bush.

Twenty years after the attacks, it’s painful to think about what would have happened if people got to work 15 minutes later, or missed their trains that morning. There weren’t Jedi masters deployed to save people in real life, but for some of the fanfic writers working today, the world of Star Wars might feel just as removed as the world before September 11, 2001.

Fiction serves as a powerful playground for processing cultural events, especially generational trauma. The act isn't neutral though; a decade's worth of fanfiction that takes place on or around 9/11 shows how our own understanding of a traumatic event can shift with time.

How 9/11 Became Fan Fiction Canon syndicated from https://triviaqaweb.wordpress.com/feed/

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runrundoyourstuff · 4 years

Text

Community

(Gravity Falls ficlet, 790 words)

The town stays well after the formal end of the party, even after the kids and guest of honor—yawning and trying to resist it—stumble back inside to finish packing, so Stan hauls out the fairy lights like he had for the Grand Re-Opening and swaps some of the Pitt Colas out for Budweisers.

Let ‘em stay. He’s in no rush, after all. There’s no portal in the basement to hurry down to now, no longer any reason to scramble to fix it. His brother is here, is safe, and so are the kids, and so is everyone else. Stan can sit, unburdened, facing out on the stoop of the Shack in that muggy late-summer air, let the sounds of the town mingling mix with those of the crickets as he sips on his beer. And he does, only looking up when Ford sits down beside him.

“These people…” Ford cracks open a beer of his own, but doesn’t move to drink it.

“What about ‘em?”

“Were they…I don’t suppose you’d know, but I wonder if they were here when I was. You know, before…”

Stan leans back. “They were. Well, most of ‘em. Not the kids—or teenagers, whatever—obviously. But their parents, yeah. And most of ‘em who are our age…” he chuckles. “Some of ‘em were the first customers I ever had, right after…” A pause. The levity falls out of his voice. “Well, not too long after I got here.”

“Mm.”

“What?”

“They seem kind.” Ford sets his drink, still untouched, down beside him.

“Well, ya know, they’re not bad for some idiots from a small town in the middle of the woods.” In front of him, a few feet away, Blubs and Durland slow dance to music only they seem to be able to hear. Lazy Susan leans against a tree, good eye scrunched up in laugher as Toby seems to pontificate about Death Ball. “They weren’t always nice to me,” Stan continues. “But they always made me feel like I was one of ‘em, and I guess I never really had that before I came here. I mean,” he adds hastily at his brother’s crestfallen expression. “Don’t get me wrong, when we were kids, you and I had each other, but neither of us ever fit in in Jersey, did we?”

“No. We didn’t.”

“Right, and after I…uh…left Glass Shard Beach, I never really was able to stay in one place long enough. Townspeople drove me out of pretty much every place I went. Until I got here, and—Stanford, what in the heck is wrong?!”

Ford’s head shoots up in surprise. “Nothing, nothing.”

“Well, you’re over there looking like someone died, so—”

“It’s just…ironic.” He pinches the bridge of his nose between two fingers. “When we were children…and even after that, when I was in college, I never…I always wanted…all I wanted, was to find somewhere where people would accept me, where I wouldn’t feel like a freak. In some ways, that’s what drew me to studying anomalies—what drew me to this town—in the first place. But when I got here…” Ford looks out at the crowd. “I could have been friends with these people. I could have been a part of a community. They might have –would have—accepted…embraced me, and I...I was here, but all I did was chase gnomes, and…and build a fence with a Keep Out sign!”

“Huh. Yeah.”

“That’s all you have to say?! ‘Yeah?!’”

“Well, yeah, that’s all true. But…” He rests a hand on his brother’s shoulder. “I don’t know about you, but I wasn’t planning on heading out to sea for at least a month or two. And even then, I sorta figured we’d come back here every once in a while to visit—maybe us and the kids could all come back every summer or something, I dunno—And after everything that happened, the whole town sorta sees us all as heroes, so…” Stan smirks. “I guess what I’m tryna say is that it’s not too late, if you wanna get to know ‘em.” He finishes his beer in a single swig. “Do ya?”

Ford doesn’t say anything in response, but he doesn’t have to. He has that same hesitant, longing glint in his eye as when he had been a child, watching from behind a book as their classmates ran around the playground in a game of tag.

And Stan does now what he did then. Moving his hand from Ford’s shoulder to his elbow, he grabs his twin by the arm, pulls him to his feet, and drags him forward. “Hey, Susan, Toby—have you met my brother?”

[ao3]

#my fic #gravity falls #stan pines #ford pines

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toomanyfandoms02 · 4 years

Text

Thoughts - Part 1 // Matthew Gray Gubler x Reader

This timeline is set around 2006 because that's when the actually 2nd season of Criminal Minds was going on. So Matthew is about 26.

Summary - Soulmate AU! Once you turn 18, you can hear some of your soulmates thoughts. And when you meet, your thoughts go silent for 30 seconds. Readers soulmate is quite the character. (Anything you see in bold is the other persons thought.)

Word count : 2.1k

This is kind of experimental lmao, lemme know if you like it :)))

"What was your first soulmate thought y/n?" I got this question often, everyone did. This time it was asked by a new friend of mine, we met in our cinematography class this semester at LAFS ( Los Angeles Film School ).

"I think my story is one of the more fun ones."

"I bet mines better." Her eyes held promise, but I wasn't sure she could beat me.

*It was currently 1:15 pm, and I was waiting patiently for my first soulmate thought. I was with my best friend Marley, we sat in the cafeteria of my college, mind you, surrounded by other people.*

*"What time were you born again?" She had asked the question so many times this hour, by the way she was bouncing, you would think that we were waiting for hers.*

*"1:19 pm for the last time Marley." I giggled, nudging her shoulder. I took a bite of the cupcake she had bought me for my birthday. It took no time for the clock to hit 1:19, I anxiously waited to hear something, anything.*

"Now disclaimer." I told my friend, who I now knew as Alex. "I knew that some people had reported that their first soulmate thoughts were kind of, *loud*. But I can tell you that I was severely unprepared."

*Only 30 seconds after my watch ticked past 1:19, I heard a near deafening screech in my head.*

***"What the fuck?!"** The thought was so obnoxious and loud that I spit the fluffy pastry from my mouth and directly onto the back of another person, holding tightly to my ears, this did not help.*

*"What's going on? What did they say?" Marley leaned over to me, rubbing my back with a horrified look. Not long after, the man I had spit on turned around with a furious look.*

*"Hey I'm so sorry." I choked out, waving a hand at the man. "My soulmate thought was painful." The man rolled his eyes with an angry huff, taking his cardigan off and turning back to his table.*

*"What did they say y/n?!" There she went again, bouncing like a dodgeball.*

*"What the fuck." My eyes darted to hers, narrowed slightly. She furrowed her brows at me. "He literally thought, what the fuck, so loudly."*

Alex was on the floor giggling like a fiend, she held her stomache as if her guts would spill out with so much joy.

"Nope, you're right." She could barely speak between laughter. "I can't beat that." She promptly wiped the tears from her eyes, composing herself. "So you haven't met him yet?" She let out a final sigh.

"Nope. When I meet him, I kinda wanna slap him." A sly smile made it's way onto my lips. "The little shit thinks the weirdest things! I have had to deal with his thoughts for 4 years, and I'm ready for the complete silent bliss when I meet him." I laid my head back on the couch.

**I would really like a fruit roll up right now.**

"Speak of the idiot, he really wants a fruit roll up right now." Alex shook her head at me.

"Maybe he will be funny?"

"We'll see about that. What was your first soulmate thought?"

Tonight was Marley and I's 'introduction night.' Similar to a movie night, we have a night every two weeks where we either introduce the other to a new show or movie, alternating turns.

"I think you'll like this one." She plopped onto the loveseat, nearly throwing and spilling the hot popcorn on me while grabbing the remote. "It's a crime show, just started last year so after this season we can just keep up with it. If you like it of course." The show was flipped onto the first episode, it was a man talking about an unsub, or unidentified subject. Then a younger guy walked in, interrupting him.

"Who is that guy?" The words flew from my mouth before I could even think them.

"Spencer Reid-"

"No, I mean his *real* name. He looks *so* familiar." It felt like my brain was eating itself alive, why did he look so familiar.

"I think his name is Matthew Gray Gubler." Marley shrugged, not taking her eyes off the screen.

"Has he been in anything else but this?"

"He models a lot. That's probably where you saw him." She pushed some magazines around on her coffee table and threw one at me. "He's on page 16, Hilfiger Jean's." I flipped to the page, seeing his face again.

"Wow, he is something else. I must have just unknowingly saw him in a magazine somewhere."

"I know! Once I saw him on here, I knew you would think he was cute too. Plus, he's a genius. I figured this would be another Peter Parker situation again." She teased, poking at my giant crush on Spiderman AKA Toby Maguire a few years ago.

"Shut up!" I snickered, throwing a pillow at her head. My own thoughts were interrupted by one that was not my own.

**I wish Halloween would come faster.**

"Its literally May." I whispered to myself, earning a weird look from Marley. This is the typical weird thought, Halloween is big on his mind.

I of course ended up loving the show. ~~And may or may not have had a huge crush on Spencer Reid already.~~

I informed Marley that we would most certainly be catching up on the show regularly, making that out new weekly thing for a while.

Though I could truly not get that Matthew guy out of my head, and I had a weird feeling it wasn't just because I thought he was super hot.

Matthew

**Who is Matthew Gray Gubler?**

The thought nearly made me spit out my coffee as I walked through the set. I knew for sure that wasn't my thought.

*No shit sherlock.*

Now *that* was my thought.

The question swirled around in my head, I really wanted to just think,

*I'm Matthew Gray Gubler!*

Just to make this whole process easier. Who knows if she could even actually *hear* it if I did answer her, or that she would believe me.

So lost in my train of thoughts, pun intended, I ran right into a punch cart.

"Holy shit!" The punch came spilling down right onto my khaki pants. I rested my forehead on the rim of my coffee mug. "I'm so sorry Terry, I was really caught up in my head."

"It's alright." He pulled a towel from his back pocket, throwing it onto the puddle that was forming on the wood floor. "Thinkin' about a girl?"

"Yes actually, thinking about my soulmate. Let me help you with that." I kneeled down on the floor, wiping up the spill. "Sorry again."

"It's all good Matthew." He dragged the cart to the opposite side of the room.

**Why can I not focus damnit?! This trip is suppose to be fun. Focus y/n. Focus!**

Y/n! I've never heard her name before. Maybe shes getting closer to me.

I set my coffee on the table of the reading room, pulling my script out and sitting next to AJ.

"You seem out of it today, are you feeling okay?" She tapped my shoulder. "I saw you run directly into the lunch cart." She clearly tried to suppress a giggle.

"How did you meet Nathan? How did you do it?" My script was not slammed onto the table, my hands pressed firmly on top of it.

"Are you worried about soulmates again? Matthew, she will come to you-"

"She said my name!!" My hands flailed wilding in the air. "I heard her think it! This sucks." I laughed a bit at the end, feeling ridiculous and vulnerable. Ask phone buzzed on the table, interrupting my dilemma.

"Well I hate to stop you in the middle of this debacle, but we have a film class coming in to observe, I guess sit was suppose to be a surprise." AJ shrugged with a pity smile, which is my least favorite version of a smile. I dramatically slammed my head on the back of my rolling chair, groaning like a child.

"Come on Gubler, we don't even have to do anything, we just have to act normal so they can observe. Let's go educate some college kids." She stood above me, patting my head and dragging my seat from the table a few inches. I reluctantly stood up and left the reading room.

To be clear, if it were any other day than the day that I found out my soulmates name, I would be totally in the game. I love teaching people, I love being an inspiration, but all I could think about was how close yet how far I was from meeting the love of my life. I shook it all off, physically and mentally, while heading to the set.

*Time to get my head in the game.*

I hope my soulmate heard that and started thinking of highschool musical.

"Action!" I held my prop gun in my hand while following Shermar, he proceeded to kick a door down that had a camera on the other side to capture it. The class that was observing sat on the other side of the door, seeing all of the behind the scenes that goes on during filming.

To avoid making direct eye contact with the camera, I often look right past it. So instead of making eye contact with the camera, I made it with a girl.

Then it was silent.

I stopped in the doorway, leading AJ to slam right into me on her way through the door.

"What the hell are you doing Matthew?"

"Cut!"

**You have got to be fucking kidding me.**

We did not break our stare, her eyes wide now with the realization.

*Wow.*

The girl sitting next to her was shaking her shoulder violently, but she sat unfazed.

"Can you excuse me for a second?" Bobby Roth, our director for the day looked at me like I was dumb, inevitably giving in.

"Whatever, take 5 guys."

I immediately waltzed past the cameraman and over to, who I could only assume, was my soulmate. The girl next to her was promptly slapping her arm and squealing like a pig, but she was giving her quite the death stare.

*She's my kind of girl already.*

Right as I thought that, she looke duo at me with a large grin and a tilt of the head.

*Shit.*

**Damn, even cuter in person.**

"Thank you." I couldn't suppress the automatic pep in my step meeting her. "I'm Matthew, you must be y/n?" It came out as a question because I was worried I would be wrong, and embarrass myself.

Which I've done, many times.

"You know my name?"

"I uh, I heard you think it." I pointed to my head, nodding awkwardly.

"You are so weird." She laughed, which made my face reddened more 3x more than I'm sure it already was.

"What?" I managed to murmur out.

"Well, you just think about weird stuff, mostly Halloween though." She was slowly smiling more as she spoke of me, which made my heart skip a few beats. She was so much more beautiful than I had pictured her. Her eyes held every intelligent thought that I had ever heard from her, and I knew right then that the eyes were the door to the soul. "Now that I'm here," she finally stood to my level, poking at my chest. "Do you wanna do a couples costume? This year?" She did a cute half shrug, as if I would say no.

"Oh my God, you really are my soulmate." I pulled her into a hug, a tight one, never wanting to let her go now that I'd found her.

"Alright guys! Let's go!" Bobby motioned everyone back to the set.

"Yeah, get out there *Spencer*." She patted her hand on my cheek. I didn't know if I hoped that she *did* see or *didn't* see how much I already liked her on my face, but I could feel the admiration spilling from my features.

"I- I'll talk to you after this!" I stumbled backwards from her, going back to the set and awkwardly running my back into the cameraman.

"Can't wait!" She waved with a flushed face, sitting back down next to her friend who was now shaking both of her shoulders violently.

*This is the best day of my life.*

**Same.**

---------

I've got a few more Soulmat AU ideas if you want more! I just don't know if theres any demand, so LEMME KNOW.

#mgg #criminal minds #spencer reid #dr spencer reid #mgg fanfiction #mgg x reader #mgg fic #mgg imagine #MGG #matthew gray gubler #matthewgraygubler

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rogerslovesstark · 4 years

Text

Don’t Love You Anymore

Pairing: Steve Rogers x fem!reader

Warning: Angst, Fluff

Words: 3k

“What are you trying to say, Steve?”

“I’m sorry, I just don’t love you anymore,”

Your mind was reeling, was this really happening? Was he really leaving you when you needed him most? You had found out you were pregnant only a couple of hours ago. You wanted to surprise Steve with a little joke you had found online. It wouldn’t even matter now, he doesn’t love you anymore.

Your hands were shaking while tears built up in your eyes, the sobs in your throat ready to flow out. You wanted to know what had happened? What changed from last week as he had told you that he would never leave you, and it would always be you two.

“What changed?” You whispered, if you tried to speak any louder, you would be crying loudly.

Steve sucked in a harsh breath, “I don’t know Y/n, I just don’t anymore,”

You nodded your head, and went into your bedroom and packed your bag. While throwing in clothes into your bag, you started to cry quietly. It hurt to leave, you had just passed your third anniversary. You had moved in with Steve a year ago, on your second anniversary. Guess it didn’t matter anymore, he didn’t love you anymore.

You swiftly got your bag ready, you walked out of your bedroom, over to the door, leaving your keys on the catch-all tray. You couldn’t bear to stay in the apartment any longer. Steve’s head shot up when he heard your keys hit the tray.

“Where are you going?” He asked without thinking, it was a habit for him to ask where you were going, constantly worrying for you and where you were going. You didn’t look over at him, he didn’t need to know anymore. You shrugged and left without a single word.

Steve sat back on the couch, head in his hands, feeling hollow and a shell of a person. The apartment had already felt colder without you in it, you were normally humming a tune softly, but it was silent, only the hum of electricity to be heard.

8 months later

Steve had landed from a mission, it was only supposed to a few week recon mission, turned into a full-blown undercover stakeout. He went back to his apartment, opening the door to a cold apartment. A shiver ran up his spine, subconsciously looking at the gleam of your keys on the tray. Steve felt his chest caved in at the reminder of what had happened before he left.

Where were you know? What were you doing? Were you doing alright? Steve went over to his desktop, searching your name up in the search engine.

There were no results about you, not even a social media link. You had loved social media, were always on it. The cute pictures of you were constantly posted between the two of you. He pulled out his phone to open his Instagram, looking up your name, to not find anything.

Did you delete your Instagram? He had looked through his own feed, the last picture of you sitting at a fancy restaurant table, smiling brightly at his phone. You looked so lovely that night, a pretty white dress and you looked like an angel. Steve was sure that he swooned every time you had smiled at him.

Steve put everything down and walked towards the bathroom which was connected to the bedroom. It hit Steve like a truck when he walked in and didn’t see your socks on the floor. You always left your socks on the floor because your feet were always cold and you wouldn’t take your socks off until you were about to go to sleep.

Tears filled his eyes as he looked around the bedroom and he couldn’t even smell your scent on the sheets anymore. A choked sob left his throat, you were really gone. You had left and didn’t come back. What else was he to expect, he told you to leave, he told you that he didn’t love you anymore.

Steve did love you, he truly did, breaking your heart like that was one of his biggest regrets, the basis of the mission was for a man who had threatened you and Steve, and he wanted to investigate. It would do more harm if you were together than if you were separated, so Steve broke up with you, what a mistake that was.

Steve walked to the bathroom, tears streaming down his face, and noticed the garbage was overflowing. He forgot to take out the trash before he left. Trying to get all the trash out, he noticed a pregnancy test, his heart dropped to his ass. No, you couldn’t have been pregnant. You would have told him.

It was positive. You were pregnant when he told you he didn’t love you. Steve needed to find you, where were you? Steve forgot about the shower, he grabbed his keys and got onto his bike, rushing to the tower to get FRIDAY to locate you and make sure you were okay.

++++

Steve stared at the computer screen in the lab. There was no trace of you at all, it was like you never existed. FRIDAY had said that there was no record of a Y/n L/n in their database, which was ridiculous because Steve had granted you security access to the building. Steve felt a cold sweat break out across the back of his neck. Tears pooled into his eyes, you couldn’t have disappeared like this without help.

Steve ran to Tony’s lab, hoping he would have an idea of where you were. Without even knocking, he barged into Tony’s lab, seeing his friend on the phone with someone.

++++

“Tony, the baby and I are fine, thank you for calling again for the third time today, but I promise if I need anything, I’ll call you,” You told Tony through the phone.

“Actually got to go, we’ll talk later,” Tony snappishly said before he disconnected the call, you rolled your eyes at his tone, smiling knowing he was annoyed that you denied his help yet again.

After you left Steve, you called Tony sobbing and he took you in. Tony was your closest friend besides Steve. He had picked you up and brought you to a small home close to Lake Erie. It wasn’t much, just a two-bedroom home 15 minutes from the lake.

You had given birth to Tobias Joseph Rogers last month, and it was like he was a photocopy of Steve. He had come out screaming and wailing at 7 lbs, 13oz and 21 inches, on July 4, 20XX. Just like his father. You cried for the majority of your pregnancy and the only reason you took care of yourself was for the safety of the baby.

Postpartum depression was also a concern for you because you were depressed during your pregnancy and you feared that you would still be depressed while raising your sweet little boy. He never cried, only fussed when he was hungry or soiled his diaper. Toby was sleeping right now, and he wouldn’t wake up for another 40 minutes so you began to clean up around the small house.

++++

“Who you on the phone with?” Steve asked, hoping he would say you. Tony looked at him shocked.

“When did you get back Cap?” Tony asked monotonously, secretly fuming inside, Steve had broken your heart and left you for dead, and here he was without a scratch on him.

“Couple of hours ago, was that Y/n? Do you know where she is?” Steve asked, a hopeful look in his eyes, Tony wanted to crush that hope out, Steve didn’t deserve you, you were too perfect for him.

“No, a business partner,” Tony knew you didn’t want to see the Captain, you specifically asked for all information about you to be erased from the system and the internet. You knew that Steve didn’t want to be in your lives anymore so it would be better to just disappear.

All hope Steve had was completely put out, you had disappeared. His heart was breaking so quickly, he was surprised that he didn’t collapse to the floor due to all the heartbreak. Tears began streaming down his face, his breath shaking at the thought of losing you, and your child.

Tony watched Steve shake and cry in the middle of his lab, awkwardly he went over and put his hand on the super-soldiers shoulder. He sympathizes with Steve, he really did, he knew what it was like to lose the woman you love.

“Please Tony, do you know where she is, I miss her so much, I had to go on a mission, they threatened her. They wanted to kill her because of me, please you gotta believe me!” Steve sobbed, wanting nothing more than to just hold you and beg for your forgiveness.

“Who threatened her?”Tony asked, his hands clenching at the thought of someone hurting you and that cute baby of yours. That little boy had stolen Tony's heart the moment he was born.

“Hydra, where the hell do you think I’ve been these past 8 months?” Steve shouted.

“Why the fucked didn’t you anything before you dumb fuck, that poor woman spent so long crying over you, thinking that you didn’t love her anymore.” Tony shoved Steve, and Steve took a step back, knowing Tony was protective of you.

“They would have killed her if anyone knew, it was for the best if we weren’t together while I looked for the person who threatened her,” Steve said exasperated, tired from fighting and not having you home to comfort him.

“Follow me, you stupid shit”

++++

You heard the jet before you saw anything, the noise had startled and he woke up whining, annoyed to be woken up from his afternoon nap. You quickly scooped the baby into your arms hoping to settle him and get him back to sleep, because if he didn’t finish his nap, he would be cranky until bedtime.

After numerous attempts of trying to put him down, he wouldn’t stop whining, only when you took him into your arms and held him.

“You such a mamas boy Toby,” You said softly to the infant, his eyes open and staring at you in wonder. You heard knocking on your door, you just knew it was Tony, he had called earlier and he always came by when he called.

“Let’s go see Uncle Tony baby,”

As you walked down the stairs, you heard two voices arguing softly behind the door, this worried you because you knew Tony always came alone, it might be the neighbors, they would stop by once in a while to check on you and see if you needed any help.

When you open the door, you felt your heart stop momentarily. There he was, in all his American glory, Captain America, Steve Rogers at your door, Tony standing next to him, a sheepish smile on his face. You glared at Tony, how could he do this to you.

Steve stared at the small bundle in your arms, that was your baby, the baby that you had grown without Steve there to help you. Steve looked up at you, you looked as beautiful as ever, skin glowing and your hair looked better than ever. It was like Steve was in a trance while staring at you.

Tony was the first one to break the awkward silence, “Sweetheart, you got to let him explain,”

“Like hell, I will, what the hell do you two want?” You said hostilely, holding Toby tighter to your body.

“Doll, let me explain, please,” Steve begged, wanting nothing more than to wrap his arms around you and hug and kiss you till dawn. To hold his baby and kiss, hold, cuddle him.

You looked reluctantly at Tony and then at Steve, you handed the baby over to Tony where he quickly gathered him and bolted to the nursery room.

“Come in,” You quietly said, leading Steve to your cozy living room. It was minimally decorated, not much inside besides a sectional and a coffee table, a small flat screen tv mounted on the wall. It wasn’t much but it was enough for you and the baby, to keep you from your thoughts when the baby was down and you didn’t want to go to sleep yet.

Steve walked in the house, it had the same aura as the apartment when you both lived there. It was small and it felt like home. Steve started tearing up, he felt out of place, exiled from your heart. But he was the one who told you that he wasn’t in yours anymore. Watching you walk through the corridor, made him feel so left out.

You both sat on the couch, you never made eye contact with Steve, you feared if you did you would end up forgiving him.

“Would you like something to drink? Coffee, tea, water?” You ask softly, nervous to even be talking, what if he came to take away Toby? Your hands cliché at that idea, nobody was taking your baby away from you.

Steve noticed your hands and just stared at you, “Doll, let's just talk, please,” He said desperately, he picked up on the fact that you flinched when he had called you doll, his heart cracking. All Steve wanted to do was to reach out and hold you, just have you in his lap and breathe in your scent.

“Okay, what happened? I thought you didn’t love me anymore?” You whispered, bring up those words practically tore your heart.

“Y/n, I lied okay? I loved you and I still do. So much. Hydra threatened to kill you, the both of us, that's why I told you that, I thought it would be safer for the both of us if we weren’t together, they most likely had our apartment bugged, so I had to make it believable, please you have to believe me.” Steve pleaded.

You looked at the blond in shock, they had bugged the apartment, how, when? Did they know where she was right now? You stiffened up, worried that they knew where you were and they would come hurt Toby.

“Do they know where we are?” You whispered

“No, I took them all out.”

“By yourself?”

“I did what I had to do to protect the ones I love,” Steve said while taking your hand in his.

“Why didn’t you tell me then?”

“Doll they bugged the apartment if I told you they would have for sure killed us, I needed to make sure that we would both be safe and then take them down,” Steve explained, you seemed to be understanding the idea now. “When did you have him?” Steve asked you, dying to meet the baby.

“Last month, he was born on July 4th, like his father,” You told him, watching as his eyes filled with tears and his heart broke even more.

“are you alright?” Steve asked you, concerned that the pregnancy had caused any damage to your body. You had to go through that all alone, the hormones, the cravings, he missed watching you grow with his child.

“I’m fine, it was quick labor and delivery, only took 2 hours, eager like his father,” You said while smiling, thinking about your cute baby boy. “so what happens now?” You asked.

“Can I meet our baby?” Steve asked quietly, desperate to hold his son. You nod your head and lead him up the stairs, to the nursery where Tony and the baby were. Opening the door to see Tony laying on the floor with the baby on his chest. Toby was gurgling and making a face that you recognized, you quickly grabbed the baby and a towel, throwing it over your shoulder and burping him.

“Did he throw up on me?” Tony asked Steve, Steve couldn’t even pay attention to anything that Tony had said, too entranced by his son trying to burp. Hearing the small noise of him passing gas, Steve smiled and walked over to you two. Tony quickly stood up and left the room silently, not wanting to have to face the upcoming drama.

You feel Steve standing behind you, you turn towards him, his eyes silently asking you to hold the baby. You help Steve maneuver the baby into his arms. Steve starts to break down at the feeling of his son in his arms.

“What's his name?” Steve asked you.

“Tobias Joseph Rogers, Toby for short”

“You named him after my dad?” Steve asked, teary-eyed. You nodded, Steve was touched you named the baby with intention, even if you didn’t know if Steve was coming back.

“Doll, I know that I hurt you, but please, let me back in, I swear on my life that I’ll protect you two,” Steve begged you, wanting nothing more than to hold you and the baby and to call you a family.

“I don’t know Steve, you broke my heart, I can’t do it again,” You whispered, wrapping your arms around yourself as if to protect yourself from him. You wanted to try again, but you were scared, what if he left again?

“You won't have to, I will never leave you, please just let me try,” He begged you, hoping that you missed him as he misses you.

“Okay, one more chance, but your doing diapers for the next 6 months,” You said sternly.

Steve felt his heart swell, he grabbed the back of your head and pulled you towards him with a searing kiss, he had missed your kisses and your touch.

“I promise, I will never leave you again, baby, never again,” Steve whispered against your lips.

You pecked his lips and took the baby from his arms, putting him down in his crib, seeing he was already falling asleep in his father's arms. Once the baby was down, Steve grabbed you and threw you over his shoulder, pacing to the bedroom.

“Steve!” You squealed, he slapped your ass and growled out, “Let’s work on getting another baby inside you,”

++++

Tony heard the bed frame smacking the wall and rolled his eyes and let out a quiet “Nasty fucking idiots”

#Steve Rogers #angst #steve rogers fanfiction #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers angst #captain america #captain america fanfiction #captain america x reader #captain america angst #captain america fluff #steve rogers fluff #captain rogers angst #captain rogers fluff #tony stark #ironman

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beneaththetangles · 3 years

Text

Star Wars: Visions (Review)

Though Star Wars: Visions—a series of animated shorts from about the franchise’s universe created by anime studios (including some of Japan’s most high profiles ones) and now available to stream on Disney+—was initially announced at last year’s Investor’s Day event, the idea of a Star Wars anime has lived in fans’ imaginations from a long, long time ago. The combination of anime and Star Wars feels like a (cybernetic) hand in (black) glove, but for it to come to fruition still feels unreal.

My first love, when it comes to geekdom, fantasy, and media in general, was Star Wars. It captivated my imagination as a child, and with the prequels arriving as I came of age. I had dabbled in anime when I was younger, but that medium didn’t take ahold of me until I was in college, and thus grew simultaneously with this new explosion of Star Wars media that came with the prequels, living and growing side by side (in a symbiotic relationship, if you will).

With that context, I want to present a review of Star Wars: Visions—short reviews of each episode, followed by a fuller evaluation of the entire series—from the perspective of one with a twin passion for Star Wars and anime. I trust you’ll fine many reviews from those who admire the franchise and who love animation, but perhaps a uniqueness here on this post coming through my expertise and passion.

You can jump to any of the reviews through the links below, or just read through by scrolling down:

Episode 1: The Duel

Episode 2: Tatooine Rhapsody

Episode 3: The Twins

Episode 4: The Village Bride

Episode 5: The Ninth Jedi

Episode 6: T0-B1

Episode 7: The Elder

Episode 8: Lop and Ocho

Episode 9: Akakiri

Comprehesive Review

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“The Duel” (Episode 1)

Directed by Takanobu Mizuno (Kamikaze Douga), 14 min.

A remarkable start to the collection, it’s obvious why “The Duel” is featured first: It is an obvious and direct meeting of Star Wars with Japan, taking the form of an old samurai film and featuring a storyline familiar in the country, of a ronin protecting a village from bandits. The Star Wars influences come through in choice of weapon (only the lightsabers and energy blasts are in color) and the presence of droids and other familiar forms. Brian Tee and Lucy Liu perfectly capture the leads in a tale that brings a necessary suspense the titular event, while being animated in what looks like a rotoscope style. A kicking introduction to the new show, and one tied to other media also.

Score: 9/10

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“Tatooine Rhapsody” (Episode 2)

Directed by Taku Kimura (Studio Colorido), 13 min.

Studio Colorido has quietly become a steady creator of strong anime films in recent years. While they haven’t quite made a classic yet, with movies like Penguin Highway and Netflix’s A Whisker Away, the company does present stories with strong narratives and beautiful animation. The latter is especially on display in “Tatooine Rhapsody,” which has some authentically lovely moments in its simple tale of friendship within a rock band, as the anime company gets the honor of featuring Jabba, Tatooine, and Boba Fett in what might (?) be considered the only canon part of this series. It’s a bit anticlimactic, but well worth the short run time. Also, Joseph Gordon-Levitt voices the lead, so I do believe that’s him singing. I don’t know much about the actor aside from his movie and TV roles, so at least for me, that was a surprising and fun addition to the short, too.

Score: 6.5/10

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“The Twins” (Episode 3)

Directed by Hiroyuki Imaishi (Studio Trigger), 17 min.

Gurren Lagann. Kill la Kill. Promare. Star Wars. This was the short that most seemed to look forward to, on our Instagram bringing countless comments saying, “Looks like Gurren Lagann.” Indeed, it was created by Studio Trigger the director of that colorful series. But for the uninitiated, “The Twins” might bring the most dissatisfaction; it does, after all, kind of feel like a bunch of Star Wars pieces thrown together with cheesy dialogue and people breathing and yelling in space. But the fantastical elements and the style of it is what it’s all about. Imaishi’s colorful and outlandish animation is on full display here in the story of two dark-side force conceived twins duking it out over yet another Death Star-like weapon. The dialogue, again, is corny and the visuals matter more than anything, but for those who enjoy the studio (or can see the episode for was it is), this episode is a feast. I’m personally not particularly a fan of Studio Trigger, but I do like their work in short bursts, and so “The Twins” works especially well for me, while being the first of many episodes in Star Wars: Visions that is clearly setting up for a possible series.

Score: 7.5/10

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“The Village Bride” (Episode 4)

Hitoshi Haga (Kinema Citrus), 18 min.

My fear from the time these series had been announced was that the studios would simply ship it in, which worried me further when I saw some of the names associated with Star Wars: Visions—both the overworked studios and directors that seemed to be experimental. But Kinema Citrus, which has quietly animated some of the best (Made in Abyss, Barakamon) and most popular (The Rising of the Shield Hero) series of the past decade, did nothing of the sort with their episode. They created a beautiful short (one of the longest, too), with amazing landscapes and a storyline celebrating Japan’s concern for nature, complete with original, haunting music and a tale both mythical and sci-fi that echoes “The Duel” in being about a ronin-type Jedi saving a village. And while I see “The Twins” as possibly become a series due to its commercial value, I would be far more interested both in seeing the character of K (Seto in Japanese) getting a fuller show and Kinema Citrus animating it.

Score: 9/10

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“The Ninth Jedi” (Episode 5)

Kenji Kamiyama (Production I.G.), 22 min.

The presence of Kenji Kamiyama, who if you don’t recognize his name now, you will soon when Netflix’s The Lord of the Rings anime comes to fruition with him at the helm, and Production I.G. added big, legitimate names to Star Wars: Visions, but The Ninth Jedi is far more than that: Right in the middle of the nine episodes, and titled as ninth, it is the high point of the episodes, capturing the feel of Star Wars better than any of the other shorts without losing a bit of its anime feel, including the inclusion of heroes and a heroine that would fit perfectly well in either anime or another sci-fi medium. There is time set aside in this tale to develop characters and to bask in the Star Wars universe, master strokes by a genius director. And although I’ve mentioned it with other shorts, this one, too, and more heavily than most of the rest, feels like a test case for a series; I would not be surprised if this short about the recovery of the Jedi taking place in a time far past the events of the films, is meant to be a fuller show, and would be absolutely thrilled if that were the case.

Score: 9.5/10

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“T0-B1” (Episode 6)

Abel Góngora (Science SARU), 14 min.

Whenever Science SARU creates an anime, there’s a lot of buzz in the anime community, an excitement to see what creativity they’ll bring to a series or movie. Góngora has been an important part of the team that develops the studio’s unique and often outstanding work, so it’s no surprise that “T0-B1” (pronounced “Toby”) is an utterly beautiful series to watch. Much like “The Twins,” this short is all about the style, and it is impeccable, both imaginative and exciting. The storyline exists to honor Osamu Tezuka, “The Father of Manga,” by serving as an homage to Astro Boy, whose anime adaptation is a turning point in the form’s history; as such, it’s to be taken very much in light of being a self-contained and purposeful piece rather than as a simple addition to the Star Wars universe.

Score: 8/10

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“The Elder” (Episode 7)

Masahiko Otsuka (Studio Trigger), 15 min.

Among the aspects that the prequels introduced to the Star Wars universe was the Sith, and with them an increasing brutality to the franchise. Tonally, this is on display in the seventh episode of the series, and the second from Studio Trigger. As a standalone, it’s awkward and stilted during its first half (and wastes David Harbour as the voice of its lead), though it steadily leads toward what we assume will be a duel and at least one tragedy. That duel itself is effective and worth the long build-up, while the episode also presents some new information (canonical?), at least to this Star Wars fan, to chew on. It allows us to listen to the glorious voice talents of James Hong, as well, while additionally basking in another episode that brings a Japanese-looking environment to the world of Star Wars.

Score: 7/10

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“Lop and Ochō” (Episode 8)

Yuki Igarashi (Geno Studio), 20 min.

At twenty minutes, “Lop and Ochō” is the longest of the films, though not long enough. Focusing on how the Empire has twisted a family (and introducing a furry Jedi into the Star Wars universe), the plot feels familiar, with it’s story seemingly plucking plot points out of all three original films but set against the backdrop of a classical Japanese world. But as I inferred, it reaches its climax without the emotional impetus is should; there needed to be more family and world-building here. Still, it’s a lovely piece, with lots of ambition, heart, and incredible animation from the talented artist at Geno Studio. Here’s another full series I would adore if it were greenlit.

Score: 7.5 / 10

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“Akakiri” (Episode 9)

Eunyoung Choi (Science SARU), 13 min.

The final episode of the series is the one I was also most curious about. Once again, it’s an offering from the always-imaginative studio, Science SARU, but this time directed by co-founder Eunyoung Choi, who has no experience in direction. How would she handle this piece? I was rooting for her, both as an “underdog”—a woman in the business and creative side of anime and a Korean in the Japanese industry—and simply as a head of a favorite anime studio. And she delivers as well as an experienced director. Episode nine, with its tale of a Jedi returning to help a friend but also tempted by the dark side, is by storyline the closest to pre-existing Star Wars work, borrowing liberally from the stories of Luke and Anakin Skywalker, and thus, with its connection to the latter, is also the most disturbing. Wondrously animated, it additionally takes a native peoples aesthetic and weaves it in with Japanese and sci-fi ones exceedingly well. Funny, fearsome, and tightly tied together, “Akakiri” is one of the best episodes of this franchise.

Score: 9/10

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Comprehensive Review

As mentioned earlier, my fear for Star Wars: Visions was that the short films would be treated by the Japanese studios as after-thoughts, big money projects that would give them a further foothold in American markets and tie them to Disney, while they put less-experience animators to work on them. The Animatrix, in all its inconsistency, also loomed large in the back of my mind, though I would gladly take ups and downs and be happy with it for this beloved series with the thought that we finally have an official Star Wars anime! But a show of all or mostly call-ins would be extremely disappointing.

Thankfully, the limited series if far more than that. Star Wars: Visions is a triumph, a creative, engaging, and enjoyable reimagining of Star Wars by taking the series’ themes, history, and aesthetics and combining those aspect with the same from Japan and the anime medium specifically, leading to the some of the most exciting and best parts of this franchise in its long history. The consistency of the shorts—not in style and story, for part of the appeal, of course, is in the diversity of studios and directors, but in quality—is astounding: The worst of the stories, “Tatooine Rhapsody,” is still a fun entry, and the best (a trio or quartet of the shorts would apply here) had me on my feet and eager for more.

Which leads me to this question: What was the ultimate purpose of Star Wars: Visions? It seems that it exists to open the possibility of future series, for more than half of the episodes felt like one-shots, attempts at gauging the possibilities of fuller entries, either shows or movies, in these new worlds. I’m on board with virtually all the stories being extended further, though I would be most interested in seeing “The Village Bride,” “The Ninth Jedi,” “Lap and Ocho,” or “Akakiri” receiving such treatment.

Still, the focal point here must still be how lovingly Japanese artist expressed a pride for their homeland’s tradition, both thematically and through the history of their films and animation, while combining them (often lavishly) with the same from Star Wars. These series could never be and weren’t meant to be canon, an argument point among fans leading into the show. It’s best to think of them as reimaginings of the universe, and are best enjoyed that way.

Even those who aren’t fans of anime will find the richness of the art direction appealing, while Simu Liu, David Harbour, Lucy Liu, Neil Patrick Harris and others form a prominent English dub (I haven’t yet watched it in original language), guided in part, some will notice, by veteran Stephanie Sheh. The fanservice is also strong with this one, largely in the form of so very many droids, by a famous piece of dialogue repeated over and over, and most of all, through duels, a number of which will rank among the franchise’s best. Often short (by necessity), they’re nonetheless exciting and well-choreographed—and include Japanese sword-style lightsabers, to boot!

With a number of recent franchise entries that received mixed reception, Star Wars: Visions is what was needed: something original, fantastic, and forward-looking. It goes beyond quenching a near life-long thirst for me to see the world of anime come together with Star Wars—it gives a pleasurable taste and has me thirsting even more. I think that was why these shorts were created, and you know what? I’m okay with being manipulated toward that end, as it gives me hope for the future of my favorite franchise. After all—fandoms are built on hope.

Score: 9/10

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Star Wars: Visions can be streamed on Disney+. All images courtesy of Disney.

#Anime #Reviews #Anime Reviews #Star Wars #Star Wars: Visions #Articles #Author: TWWK

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armyhat210 · 3 years

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Uchiha Sasuke : My Thoughts

Since there is a lot of posts going around on Sasuke’s character analysis I figured it’s time I give my thoughts on Sasuke and what it means to me to be proud Sasuke fangirl.

This was my impression of Sasuke when I first met him. He was cool, silent, and powerful. I found Naruto being annoying, and very attention needy. Not that he didn’t deserve attention but it was just a turn off for me. I met Sasuke in the forest of Death. I was spending the night at my friend’s house and her older brother was watching it with his friends. She was playing maple story in the kitchen.

It wasn’t until I was in high school when I actually got to sit down and watch the Naruto anime. I actually own seasons 3-7 on poorly translated dvds in other words I own the whole garra arc all the way to the point where Sasuke leaves the village. Eventually I’ll get the properly translated dvds but at the time I was learning Japanese, fully fluent now, so this was good practice for me.

I always found Haruno Sakura annoying. She seemed very selfish to me and only cared about herself. It’s so bad that I’ve gotten to the point where I only refer to her as Haruno since the name Sakura is one of my favorites. My oldest daughter middle name is Sakura that’s how much I love it.

When Sasuke left the village I was heartbroken. At first I hated it. It took me years to accept why he did it. And honestly I actually stopped watching Naruto after Sasuke left the village because there was no more episodes with him in it. Now let’s fast forward to Shippuden.

This now asshole shows up in this outfit and I cannot. Like boi what are you thinking in those clothing. I hated this outfit and I hate the snake man, mostly because I can’t spell his name right no matter what. This outfit is not okay. But the character growth that he goes through in Shippuden really made me understand his character. Why he did what he did. How we found out why Itachi killed off the Uchiha Clan. Why Sasuke really wanted to kill his brother. There was so much heartbreak and my boy shows up in his Kirin outfit and I fangirled for days.

So when Sasuke went to kill Danzo I cried. I honestly cried as I binged these episodes. I cried because I knew why he was doing this. I knew why he was doing this. And I understood why this was happening. I hated Tobi for manipulating Sasuke but I do not disagree with Sasuke killing Danzo. I think that was well deserved.

Going back to Sasuke’s teammates. I’m very indifferent to them. Honestly they make no difference to me. That being said, I like Karen a lot more than I like Haruno. Despite Karen being a bit odd and sometimes annoying, at least she could hold her own. Despite her being captured she still stayed loyal to Sasuke and I love that, mean while at this point Haruno has already tried to kill Sasuke once which I think is the dumbest thing in the world and I honestly thought she couldn’t get more annoying. But she did so that wasn’t a surprise.

This is my favorite gif of Sasuke because it really shows just how broken and sad this boy was and every time I see it I just want to hug him and love him more and embrace him while he cries on me. This is the Sasuke that at night I would hug him while he sleeps in hopes he doesn’t get nightmares. I love this broken child and I will forever love him but let’s move on to the GNW. GNW arc, for me, this includes everything from Sasuke fighting with Itachi to when they kill the moon princess. Let’s break it down starting from the Itachi and Sasuke vs Kabuto fight.

~ Artwork by Rabbit I fangirled so hard. watching these boys fight together was something we all wanted, needed and deserved. The way Itachi loved his brother is so endearing. These two together was something I didn’t know I needed and was so grateful to see happen. I hated that Itachi left after this fight. It broken my heart and it clearly broke Sasuke’s heart and my heart broke again for him. At this point my love for Sasuke was just something that was aged.

Sasuke showing up to the GNW is the next thing to talk about. Ugh this boy was too cool for me and that’s when I fell in love with him again. At this point Haruno shows up too and just...why. Like honestly why what is the point of her existence. Someone please slap her for me because she didn’t need to speak at all. But back to Sasuke. Let me say this with a grain of salt. I love Uchiha Sasuke. I love how he stayed focus to his goals. I love his character growth. I love what an asshole he can be. And I would do anything for him. THAT BEING SAID : Sasuke is not the type of person where I could be in a relationship with him. I love him don’t get me wrong. I would do anything for him but I could never date him. And that’s okay. I as a person I would not know how to handle him and I feel like I would hurt him as much as he has hurt my heart. I am not the right person for Sasuke but that doesn’t change how much I love him. I’ve seen this boy grow up and I’ve seen what a great person he has become. I will always love this child and nothing will change that. I think Kishimoto did Sasuke wrong in giving him a daughter. Sasuke would have been better with a Son. It’s like condemning him to deal with the fact that his clan will not continue. I am not a fan of Boruto. I have not watch much of it since I really only watched Naruto and Shippuden for Sasuke. I think there is nothing wrong with Sasuke losing his arm. I enjoy watching him continue to grow his fighting style and character growth with his new impairment.

Final Thoughts : I will always be a proud Sasuke fangirl. I will always love and adore him as Sasuke has taught me so much about love. He taught me that it’s okay to love someone and not be in a relationship with them. He has taught me that if you love someone you will always be on their side but you don’t have to agree with their choices or approve of them. He has taught me that love is endless and it can grow and it can mature and it can develop and it can change. Sasuke is always gonna be number one best boy for me since I’ve been in love with him since I was 12. Sasuke will always be number one best boy for me because of how much I went though and all the lessons I’ve learned because of him.

#long post #Uchiha Sasuke #Sasuke number one best boi #Sasuke

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eloarei · 3 years

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A little rambling: on grief; and grieving a dog, a cat, an unborn child, and pieces of me that got hurt along the way.

2300 words under the cut.

It’s a very gloomy day today. I don’t usually mind; I like rain. But on a bad day, or a bad week, it only seems to insulate me in my own dark thoughts. That’s what today seems to be. I’ll work on fixing it later-- getting some exercise, sunlight if the clouds clear, making some tea. Should’ve done that already, but I forgot. Ate half a banana, at least.

As I’ve complained about a few times lately, I’ve just not been doing especially well. When and why did it all start? It’s hard to say, but this ‘unwellness’ spell seems most potent starting April 11th (my anniversary, unfortunately, which is why I can remember it), when I came down with a gruesome stomach bug. Really haven’t been feeling right since. I’m really bad about being sick; it scares me and I handle it badly. I assume that’s part of what has messed me up.

But grief is the other part, I think. Grief, and my being scared and worried that what caused it could strike again at any minute. Look, I’m... 32 now, and I’m sure that most people by this age have experienced profound loss. I’m probably not unusual, and I’m certainly not alone, but I think all the loss I’ve experienced is just piling up on me now, like there wasn’t enough time to process the new fresh ones before newer fresher ones came on, and so now even the old tough scars are aching.

When I was a teenager, my parents died. They were old, and it was health problems. It was not a surprise, but that didn’t make it easier to deal with in freshman year of high school. (What made it easier to deal with? Rabidly cleaning out the fridge and watching Lord of the Rings tapes the neighbors lent me. That’s all I did for three days after my mom died.) It’s been a long time-- more than half my life ago-- and I do feel like I’m ‘over it’, but sometimes it just wells up, tears from nowhere. Maybe that’s just how grief is.

A certainly had a good decade of my 20′s. I got married at 19, and had a pretty uneventful set of years. That felt normal to me. I do think, though, that the loss of my parents haunted me in that time, quietly. It influenced everything I did; it probably still does, if only because it changed the person I have become. But other than that, things were good, I think. My dog Roxy died two years ago, when I was 30, not long after I got back from seeing my siblings for the first time in ages. She was violently ill, and died right in front of us as we were getting ready to take her to the vet. I think I’ve written about it. In fact, the next day I wrote a depressing fanfic piece, certainly as a coping mechanism. (It made people cry, so, mission accomplished, I guess.) I think that helped a lot. A few months later, my in-laws’ dog died too, while mom-in-law was on vacation, and that was rough as well. I wrote another sad fanfic about death. I really like both of these pieces, because they mean something, and they’re very raw. Furthermore, I’ll always have them, as tokens for Roxy, Ginger, and the little pieces of me they crushed when they died. I don’t know if the exchange is worth it, but it’s what I have.

My grief over Roxy was gentle, as time went on. It didn’t bother me. I think I’d processed it well. I’d written out my feelings. I held her body in numb arms as my husband dug her grave. It was okay.

In early 2020, basically on my 31st birthday (and right as Covid was happening), I found I was pregnant. Long story short, those were the densest two months of my life, where everything seemed to change so quickly. My thoughts and feelings could fill so very many pages; this is not the place I’ll leave them. The point of this particular story is that it didn’t work out. The baby ‘died’ not terribly unlike Roxy had-- violently ill, in front of me, with far too much blood. I passed out three times-- the real start of this current fearful nature, because I cannot overstate how very much I felt like I was going to die. I went to the ER; it was miserable, an ordeal I could say quite a lot about. I won’t, though. I have before, and I likely will again, elsewhere.

This... This grief... I think I still don’t know what to do with it. I don’t think I ever will. Months later, I started writing a fic to deal with my feelings, though it took 90k words and many months before I got to the part where I could really delve into my trauma. And it has helped, I’m sure. I’m really sure. And I care about this fic so much, because like the others it is raw and real and it’s something I’d never have if not for my experience. Again, it may not be a fair trade, but it’s what I have.

I don’t grieve for the baby. It didn’t make it far enough to even have a heartbeat. It doesn’t have a name, a gender. It doesn’t have a grave. We let the hospital take care of it. But I still grieve. I’m sad. Wrecked. I grieve what it could have been. I grieve the hope that was spent and lost on it, a precious resource that will take a long time to grow back, if ever. I grieve over not only my own disappointment, but my husband’s, and my in-laws. They’ve never pressured us to have kids, but they’re in their 60′s now, with no grandchildren. I think they feel... lacking, in a way. I understand. I feel the same (though different). I wanted to give them that. I wanted to have that.

I still....?

I can’t say. I don’t know what I want. The event complicated my already complex emotions. I’m still waiting for them to simplify. Maybe they will, or maybe they won’t.

I was alright for a while. Stressed enough because of Covid and family’s declining health. Then in early April 2021, just a year after the miscarriage, I got badly sick. Gross, but not what most people would call a real issue. But only a year after the miscarriage, when my body betrayed me and I was at its horrid mercy, this felt like too much. Again I felt like I was going to die. A week of near delirious fever and nausea; I’d have handled it badly enough in any other circumstance.

As expected, I got through it. A horrible week, but just a week (or so). And then my dog Tobi died, just days later.

This is it. This is the one I... I’m speechless about. The one I... maybe haven’t processed enough. I was just back from the edge of being badly, violently ill. I didn’t have the energy to write, physically or emotionally. And that just made it worse. I love writing. It’s my outlet (surprising, I’m sure). I wanted to write. I thought I ought to write. I needed to write. But I couldn’t. I couldn’t muster the words. I still... can’t.

Tobi was... my baby. Not literally, of course. I didn’t conflate him with my lost child or anything. Tobi was 14. I’d had him since I graduated high school and got an apartment. Adopting him was one of the first things my husband and I did as an established adult couple, before we were even married. He was there, at my wedding. The photographer took a cute picture of me holding him before the ceremony. He was 11 months old at the time. Still had all his brown spots before they turned tan, then later white. He was there; he was always there. He was my entire adult life. And now I’ve lost him, the pup I had longer than my marriage (though soon we will outlast him). He was the big brother to all my other pets. He practically raised all the cats, and they adored him. (Tobi was a chihuahua, so they might have thought he was just another cat.)

He was a sweet boy, who loved his mom and dad first and foremost. When he was little, he was scared of everyone else. Eventually he warmed up to strangers and friends, and in his old age he mostly liked to nap somewhere on his own. He was silly and playful; he always chased the cats when they wanted to be chased. It was a game they all loved.

The vet... well, we took him in when he started to cough badly. He’d had a cough for a few months, but it wasn’t constant and didn’t seem to be affecting his quality of life much. But that day it was bad, so we took him. (We can’t afford frequent vet visits, so this was clearly desperate.) The vet took him and put him on oxygen. We had to stay in the car because they weren’t open for human guests. Then she came and told us a scan had revealed cancer, marbled through his lungs. He was suffocating. In fact, he wouldn’t likely even make it home, not even the two mile drive. We had to put him down. My husband and I cried like babies. We’d never put an animal down before. Generally speaking, we don’t really ‘believe in it’, if that makes sense. But faced with this situation, we had no choice.

I didn’t see him again. I think that’s the worst part, though it would have been equally bad to see him, I think. And it was all so sudden. He was playing and chasing the cats the day before. Begging for treats of human food. Barking at the Roomba. And then I had to pay hundreds of dollars to say goodbye to him. It felt so unfair. I cried all day. My husband and I, we just went home and laid down and wept.

But I still haven’t written about it, not in the way that I wrote about the others. For all that I wrote here, it doesn’t begin to encompass my deeper feelings on what it means that he is gone, and how I felt to have to make that decision. I have ideas. I think I know what I would write, if I could, but writing... still mostly eludes me. I may try. I probably should.

I take a deep breath. I know I should sum this up and take care of myself, but there’s yet a little more to say.

I think Tobi’s death is a large part of what affects me still, but several weeks ago I had what I could only call a panic attack. In the middle of the night I awoke, my heart beating rapidly, a horrible feeling of dread like certainty that all I could possibly do was die. It took over two days for me to feel mostly normal again, and then I still felt vaguely nauseous for two weeks. Then, just a few days ago, it happened again, but this time before bed. I could feel it rising in me, this indescribable sickness. It took several days ago before I felt normal. And this is where I am now.

Sadly, a little while after the first panic attack, my husband and I failed to save a malnourished feral kitten. It was not a surprise, but yet one more reminder of the fragility of life, and how little I can do to keep death away from those I care about. This poor thing, it was so desperate to live, but nothing we could do could save it. I could have poured all my time into trying, could have scrounged up money to take it to the vet (when I should take my own cats, who all have colds), but I know better. I know... so much of the time, there’s nothing you can do. And now I’m trying to help what might be its siblings, a few cute feral kittens nearby. My favorite seems... a little lethargic, and not very interested in eating the wet food and meat scraps I sometimes bring by. I don’t think there’s anything I can do, if it ends up being sick, if it ends up being malnourished. I can’t bring it inside when it could infect my own cats. I have to care for them first.

But knowing that it could die... it bothers me.

And knowing that I could die. I could die. I’m too aware of that, on top of everything else. I hate doctors, so I never go. (Also I’m poor.) This toothache? Could be a terrible abscess. My brother went to the ER for sepsis from an abscess tooth recently! That’s probably what caused the panic, to be honest. But then... why have I felt so week? Is there a problem with my blood? Am I sicker than I know? Do I have breast cancer? My grandma did, and I know I should get it checked out, but it’s just ONE MORE THING. It’s always like that.

And that’s... how I feel right now. Covered in ‘one more thing’s on rainy days and night-work schedules. Trying to take care of myself but not always knowing what that means. Lacking the inspiration to do the things I know I enjoy, because worry and apathy holds me back from everything.

I’m okay. Really. No day of mine is ever entirely without merit, and I have plans to do most of the things that should keep me healthy. But the day is short when my needs and long, and the day is long when I’m paralyzed by apathy.

So. I’ll just take it a moment at a time. And when I can, I’ll try to keep writing.

#elo talks #long post #personal but ok to interact

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