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celestialtarot11 · 3 months

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The Imprisonment of The Soul- The Moon

Hi friends! Today we’re discussing the imprisonment of the soul through esoteric astrology. I found this to be incredibly interesting. But I wanted to combine it with the wisdom traditional astrology offers 🤗🤍

The moon represents the stifling of our soul, in esoteric astrology. What holds our souls ability to channel itself. But in traditional astrology, where the moon is can place insight to channel our emotional wisdom.

🤍The Fire Signs🤍

Aries moon 🥀🤍- Aries represents the exalted form of the sun. Leo is domicile, but since Aries is exalted, the ego plays a big role in the natives life. Fear, doubt, mental imprisonment is more likely for the native to experience (although honestly any one can! Just remember) The stifling begins with the ego since in esoteric astrology, Aries rules the first process of a mans metaphorical death. The ego must dissolve, burn and turn into ashes. Without this process it’s easy for the native to live through the ego as a way to escape. The ego is what first blocks the process of healing. Ego doesn’t necessarily mean jealousy, hatred or evil. It’s our fears, the narrative we replay and repeat, the experiences we cling onto that are unhealthy! Look to the sun sign placements and sign itself to tell you how you stifle yourself. For example Aries moon, sun in the 12h, you stifle yourself by self undoing. You relive old experiences and patterns as a way to maintain safety, especially abandonment. 12h: this will continue to play out as mental health crisis or mental health issues.

Leo moon 🍵🤍- In esoteric astrology, Leo is the King. The giver of life. The sun and moon balance here can actually create imbalance if the native is not aware of the stifling and how it begins. When positioned with the moon, the endings, death, and what must be left behind (esoteric teachings) the Sun will always bring back the dead. It’s easy for Leo moon to relive the past and stay stuck is nostalgia, as Leo finds themselves craving that part of them in that experience. They cling onto one version, instead of the multifaceted truth they are. Sounds like my cancer moon babies for sure 😂 but back on track! Leo also represents the soul consciousness, the achievement of the soul. In esoteric astrology, the stifling begins when the native pursues to live in the ego, abandoning the soul work. Shadow work. Much like Aries, Leo also has to learn to work with the ego, but not live through it. Implementing soul practices, rituals and shadow work can help the native. Leo also rules the role we play in society so its easy for Leo to feel like a puppet, entertainer, or fall under social pressures and that stifles the self. The growth of the soul. Leo is multifaceted and has many roles in people’s lives, including themselves, so playing only one can easily block growth. Look to where the sun falls for further information on how it contributes to this placements. For example, sun in the 6h: Stifling begins by overworking the self, perfectionist tendencies, and not caring for the physical!

Sagittarius moon 🫧🧖‍♀️🤍- The stifling of Sagittarius begins with the mind, imprisonment and relying only on materialistic desires to grow. Most of you are aware of the famous bow and arrow depicting Sagittarius. In esoteric astrology, the bow and arrow represents direction, thought, and with the man holding it, he is the willpower and awareness. Pure consciousness. The stifling begins when man isn’t aware of the power of his mind. The power of intention, thought, and action. The stifling begins as the native refuses to look within themself for direction, answer and willpower. The native ends up traveling outwardly, relying on materialistic gains as a position of power. Or on others opinion for direction, neglecting their own needs. When Sagittarius loses focus, their direction and willpower dims and eventually they get tunnel vision. They don’t know where they belong. In esoteric astrology, Sagittarius is the seat of intuition, before climbing a mountain to reach a point of completion (Capricorn) Sagittarius must get in touch with itself. Before reaching the point of intuition, Sagittarius must go through metaphoric death in Scorpio. Where all materialistic ideals, desires, ego is diminished and buried for better growth. What stifles this process, is resistance. Resistance to inner work, avoidance of the self. Over indulgence in external reality, as Sagittarius is ruled by Jupiter. Look to where Jupiter is to see what you overly rely on, and how it can contribute to neglect of the soul. For example, Jupiter in the 5h, excessive limerence (self regulating through romantic obsession) attachment to friends/social status.

🥀The Air Signs🥀

Aquarius moon 🌞🫧- Many of you are aware of the water bearer, Aquarius. And its usual image depiction of the vase with water flowing, or the water being held. Contained. The stifling begins when Aquarius is sucking in the metaphorical death of all, and not releasing what isn’t theirs. I say this because Aquarius is a sign of intuition, deep connection with the mass consciousness. Aquarius is sensitive to the energies around, therefore can mold themselves into what people need, which contributes to their multifaceted self. However, since its the water bearer, it can hold onto the many wounds and pains of others easily, and feel they are carrying the weight of the world. Their energy can easily remain stuck, blocked and struggle to flow in their body, mind and soul. Most of the time, Aquarius will realize they are working through others pain, not necessarily themselves. When it’s in the position of the moon, Aquarius can imprison their energy to others, imprison themselves based on expectations set by others, and stifle their uniqueness. Aquarius is associated with the Spring in esoteric astrology, it’s meant to give life, nurture and bring together. Aquarius has the ability to stifle their growth, set limitations, and yet surpass them as they heal. They have the ability to decay, grow, and thrive. Ruled by Saturn in traditional astrology, Aquarius has the ability to sustain life, connection and inner peace for as long as they transmute their pain. What stifles Aquarius is staying within the boundaries of the mind. Lots of Aquarius can easily manifest because when they step out the rigidity of the mind, they step into higher consciousness and awareness, therefore accessing higher energies. Check where Saturn is in your chart to see how your energy remains blocked, stifled and in which areas of your life you need dedication & effort.

Libra moon ✨☁️- With only one ray of constellation depicting libra, the constellation of intelligence, Libras are highly in touch with the workings of their mind. Their stifling also begins in the mind. Mind vs heart. Libra is known for its love and romance yet in esoteric astrology, not ruled by any love related constellations. In another post, I talked about Libras being exalted by Saturn, and how they are meant to meet themselves in order to meet others. Their connection comes from the self. The stifling begins in the mind where Libra enjoys setting rules, and wanting a sense of control and mastery. But Libras can only meet others as much as they met themselves. Their detachment and sense of restriction in relationships and personally, can contribute to their stifle. Holding themselves emotionally at a distance with others, and not allowing themselves to open up truly to the natural flow and rhythm of cycles, Libras remain trapped. Libras are also known for balance within themselves, through opposing forces comes balance. Not neglecting one for the other. Libras must embrace all truths, selves, and cycles. Their descendant is ruled by Aries, so Libras must learn to balance the side of them that experiences ego death in relationships. Through relationships they meet themselves. The scales are incredibly important to this sign, in Esoteric astrology Libra swings back and forth from realizing the soul, to repeating old ways and patterns as a way to remain safe. Remaining comfortable and safe is another way in which Libra stifles the soul. Look to where Venus is to see where you become complacent, comfortable and where codependent patterns still exist. For example, Venus 7h, attachment to connections. You love who you are with others, and want to hold onto that part of you so tightly, you forget to let go of unhealthy connections. You crave that part of you, who you are with people. Maintain balance!

Gemini moon 🍵☁️- The sign in which Venus feels comfortable in esoteric astrology. The stifling begins when Gemini moons deny their own process of reaching the self. Geminis are incredibly intelligent, they also have an active mind. Which is what stifles the nature of their soul. Overthinking, controlling and analyzing the soul process. It’s not one for the logical mind, Gemini’s need to gather trust in their body. Trust that what path they’re on whether they understand it logically or not, is for their soul. The stifling also takes place when Gemini isn’t understood and they have to translate their soul in connections that are unhealthy, unstable and ignorant of healing. Ruled by Venus in esoteric astrology, Gemini’s are great communicators and are able to give what their friends or partners need, but the stifling begins when they don’t receive that in return. When Gemini rejects the multifaceted self, the parts unloved, stuck and hurt, it creates a disconnect in the self. Usually the sign is represented by duality, two faces. One is the hurt, the other is the evolved. Together, they must become one. What stifles the moon is relying on the mind to create love only. Through the heart, there can be other ways to generate, receive and experience love too. Check where Mercury is to see how you can communicate love to yourself, and open yourself up to higher consciousness. For example, Mercury in the 8h: shadow work, occult studies, implementing your wisdom & knowledge in your spiritual practices, deep meditation. Stay committed to your deepest parts.

🌊 The Water Signs🌊

Cancer moon 🌆✨- In esoteric astrology, the first incarnations happened in the sign of Cancer. The cosmic mother. If you ever felt you were a young soul, it’s possible you were at the beginning stages of your healing when you thought that. That’s because Cancer moon requires the native to travel into and upwards in the self, to realize they are grown, and are growing. Constantly evolving, gathering wisdom. Cancer moons stifle when they stay in one time period, in one consciousness, in one past experience. Replaying the pain of the past, and recreating those scenarios. What also stifles cancer moon is a sense of having no home, no belonging, and creating disconnection and abandonment as a way to feel safe. A way to predict the end, which gives them comfort. When cancers embody their intuition and ability to recognize others moods, energies and tap into the cosmic world, they feel at home and much more connected. Not necessarily biologically, but cosmically they feel at home. They feel like the child of the universe when they tap into the wisdom it offers. Without the dissolution of boundaries, fears and the past, Cancer may feel held at arms length with the Universe and in their community, as they don’t feel secure in themselves. In esoteric astrology, Cancer is ruled by Neptune. The dissolver of boundaries, the feeler, the seer and visionary. If cancer stifles their intuitive exploration in the world and themselves, there wouldn’t be a dissolvent of the ego, and therefore, no feeling of liberation, resolve, or freedom Neptune brings. Look to see where Neptune is and where you are the most intuitive with yourself & others, and how you can learn to integrate those sensitive energies. It’s also related to the solar plexus, build confidence in that area and security. For example cancer 10h will be intuitive in their career path, in establishing a family life, choosing a spouse, and establishing their business. Also could have to do with picking up their father’s intuitive gifts.

Scorpio moon 🗣️🚬- In the process of healing, Scorpio represents the burial. The rotting in the graveyard, and silence of the death of the soul. Scorpio’s process begins in Aries, a fiery, out of control ego death, eventually settling deep in the earth where the ashes reside. In esoteric astrology they are represented by the harmony constellation, which is interesting for a sign of death. The stifling begins with Scorpio cannot find a resolution and acceptance after their metaphorical death. Their lack of inner peace & compassion is what leads to their stifle. What they repress also leads to disconnect, detachment, and separation in oneself. Often, scorpio repeats patterns in the subconscious in relationships, and in their own lives. If there is no shadow work, there is no awareness, therefore the wounds never existed to the Scorpio to be healed. Their emotional memory is strong, if Scorpio recreates the pain of their past, eventually they’ll only look for that same cycle and pattern, because its all that ingrained in them. So its important for Scorpios to allow themselves to discover themselves beyond the scope of pain, destruction and suffering. To transmute those feelings and past energies. Ruled by Mars, Scorpios have the ability to see beyond the surface level and fight for their passions. They also have the ability to continue to stay in unhealthy patterns and relationships, thinking of it as a sense or control. When they retreat is when they realize their greatest control & potential comes from within. Check your mars sign to see where your subconscious wounds need attention, and how you replay certain past events. For example Mars in the 1h: you replay your past traumatic events that victimized you, kept you stuck, and conflicted.

Pisces moon 🌊☁️- Their stifling begins when Pisces neglects their soul process. Pisces is the beginning of a cycle, and the end. Their stifle comes from undisciplined emotional responses to the self. Not having a ritual, a sanctuary and a routine for meeting their emotional and spiritual needs spirals into anxiety, neglect and ego. When Pisces becomes enthralled by materialistic desires and the surface level reality, they neglect the art of their inner world, and the power their inner world can provide and create. Pisces is meant to orient themselves with universal love and compassion, without this, Pisces overstimulates themselves with escapism. Pisces soul centered ruler in Esoteric astrology is Pluto. Leaning into destructive, chaotic and disruptive forces is what allows the native to fall into the ego. Throwing themselves into the void is what causes Pisces to remain unbalanced. What helps them tune inward and create flow and balance, is by finding illumination within those scenarios, truth and power. Beyond the ego. The power of Neptune plays, as now Pisces sees beyond illusion, and now finds truth in their experience. Pisces is ruled by Jupiter in traditional astrology, the exoteric wisdom Pisces can cultivate is limitless. Jupiter is the guidance we need to fall into spirituality as well, so look to Jupiter to see what hobby/what you can pay attention to in your life to begin your spiritual journey. Look to Pluto to see where you can find your souls power (Pluto because it rules the soul in esoteric astrology) by transmuting the past. For example, Pluto 10h can find soul centered power by releasing father wounds, and finding a stable solid ground within oneself.

⭐️ The Earth Signs ⭐️

Taurus moon 🌙🤍- Ruled by Vulcan in esoteric astrology, Taurus moon individuals have a strong and self righteous mind. Powerful and impactful individuals. But what stifles this sign is creating conflict within themselves and others as a way to maintain control, to prove themselves as right in their ego. Self sabotage tendencies run deep, as these individuals may fall into ego traps to maintain control of themselves, if they cannot control external factors. What stifles this sign is also being aware of their desires, as ruled by Venus, and creating conflict in their awareness by falling into the narrative of what they don’t have. Comparison leads to inner neglect. Taurus moon may feel without materialistic desires and needs being met, they are unfulfilled internally which causes the stifling. Attributing their worth to materialistic values only is what creates neglect. It holds them back from channeling their Vulcan nature, which is their willpower, the illumination of what hinders them internally. Without the inner awareness of their worthiness, Taurus may feel anything they touch simply dies or does not nurture. When tapped in to their Vulcan nature, Taurus feels what they touch materializes beautifully, but also on a spiritual level. Their spiritual prosperity is everywhere they go. The native feels their self interests are challenged with their spirituality. Taurus feels stifled when what they want is also out of their reach, but simultaneously create narratives to feed into that helplessness. Look to where Venus is to see what your deepest desires are, and what themes of codependency surround those desires or negative beliefs. For example, Venus 11h may want a group of friends, a beautiful social status, or to be see and recognized widely, but may struggle with feeling like the black sheep from childhood. Eventually, they may reject a social circle as a way to maintain control and to feel comfortable in their narratives.

Capricorn moon ❤️❄️- Baggage is what truly stifles these beings. In esoteric astrology, Capricorn is represented by the mountain, in order to climb a mountain you have to have willpower, strength and stamina. But you also cannot carry a house with you. Capricorns must learn what is essential to take with them in this lifetime, versus what their fearful tendencies want them to indulge in. In esoteric astrology, Capricorn is the sign of conclusion, finality and death. The mountain tops also represents the point in which we cannot ascend anymore, thus we must go down, and continue the cycle again. There must be a descent into pain, suffering, and healing to reach the top once again. The stifle begins when Capricorns find resistance in going down, when in reality it’s another opportunity to heal and get closer to oneself. Capricorns may enjoy being at the top, where it’s comfortable, where they have an advantage of seeing, and knowing, but once it’s time to head down, the fear of the unknown follows them. This can hinder Capricorn moons soul growth, and imprison the soul. The resistance to death, resistance to endings contribute to the imprisonment. As a way to foster security, Capricorns can get attached to material items to feel ‘’at the top,’’ to recreate that mountain top feeling. And when without, they feel left out, abandoned, in repetition of the old. Capricorns must constantly reach point of inner closure, truth, and awareness of their past to welcome to new, hence the suffering, pain, and fear of the unknown. Ruled by Saturn, the native must accept the discipline needed to derive closure from their past, or difficult experiences. Create that sense of safety, security, and open a new door. Saturn is also about spiritual opportunity through spiritual responsibility, so as the native heals consciously, Saturn rewards with spiritual expansion, and beautiful opportunity. Look to where Saturn is to see what and how you can generate closure from your past, and heal from, and what needs your discipline. Saturn can also tell you where life will continually improve. For example, Saturn 4h will experience wounding from the mother and family, early childhood experiences were lonely, traumatic possibly, and expected the native to grow up faster. The more the native heals this, their family life and sense of family will improve. Not necessarily their own biological family, but the native could go on to create their own sense of family and community.

Virgo moon ❤️‍🩹🌲- What stifles these moon signs is doing a disservice to themselves. Not setting appropriate intentions, boundaries, and uprooting themselves before something beautiful can harvest. Neglecting their health is a common sign of doing a disservice to themselves. These moon signs can neglect themselves in order to be of service to others, and experience codependency early in their lifetime. Virgos are also the gateway to consciousness in esoteric astrology as ruled by Mercury. The visionary, the seer, and conscious of the self. Mercury rules communication and when Virgos are not in touch with themselves, they lose awareness, they lose sight of higher consciousness. When faith is blocked, or their sense of universal connection or religious, Virgos feel unseen and stifled. They have no way of accessing their higher consciousness if the path is blocked by internal wounding and external matters. Mercury also extends into the physical form after higher consciousness is made, elevating Virgos health. Without higher awareness, Virgos can feel their health declining, or their energy is congested spiritually. Virgo can feel stifled when they are not present in their body as well, in order to develop strong awareness to the higher consciousness, Virgo needs somatic awareness. They need their body to speak to them. Virgos experience love not only through their mind, but their heart and body. Virgo also represents synthesis of receiving spiritual information, so without the proper internal care, space and time, Virgos can feel they are neglected. Virgos can overthink as well, and that leads to the stifling. Analyzing their spiritual process too much, leads to an excess of worry and takes them out their somatic body experience, leading to a lack of higher consciousness. Look to Mercury to see how you can better connect to your spiritual experiences, and what spiritual messages may be waiting for you. For example, Mercury 6h your health, routine, and body will help you access your spiritual roots. Listen to your body, ground into it. Nurture it. Keep your body healthy, it’ll keep your energy healthy too.

Omg big post! I learned so much by putting this baby together 😂 Thank ya’ll for reading this, please support this blog by any means possible! 💗🤗 as always please let me know your feedback, and thoughts! Like comment and reblog!

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heartandfangs · 1 year

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HALOS, HORNS & EVERYTHING IN BETWEEN.

GENRE Roommate AU, Smut, Hint of Romance

PAIRING Jongseong/Jay x Fem!Reader x Heeseung

WARNINGS 18+ ONLY MDNI, Threesome, Cursing, Jealousy, Breast worship (what’s new), Making out, Oral sex (f!receiving), Mention of food, Light biting, Daddy kink, Role play, Cum eating/swapping, Unresolved feelings, Dom!Jay, SoftDom!Heeseung, PowerSub!Reader, HeeJay are pervs

SUMMARY After several long months of ignoring the angel and devil living across the hall, said roommates take matters into their own hands to please you on your special day.

WORD COUNT 4k

AUTHOR’S NOTE This one’s simple but kinda crazy?? ngl I REALLY got carried away with the wc for this first request, but I’m going to try and keep the others shorter so I can get through them quicker. Definitely felt less pressure while writing this for fun tho. Happy birthday 🪶 anon! I took some artistic liberties with your simple request lmao, but hope you and everyone enjoy it regardless (if it’s not ur cuppa tea dw!) 🖤🤍🖤🤍

See end for cont. author’s note.

Masterlist

After an incredibly rough week of work, you’d completely forgotten to switch off your alarm last night so you could sleep in for your birthday. It was your long-awaited day.

“The fuck,” You groaned before tapping the screen of your phone to silence the obnoxious sound.

Clambering and scurrying footsteps could be heard outside your bedroom and in the shared kitchen. A nagging feeling in your stomach told you that you wouldn’t be allowed back to sleep any time soon.

After about a minute, you noticed the sound of your roommates gathering outside your door— then knuckles tentatively rapping against it.

You pulled your duvet over your head and curled up tighter onto your side, refusing to answer.

Another knock.

It was more insistent this time, annoyingly so.

“What?” Your grumpy tone made it known that they were unwelcome visitors this early in the morning.

Please go away…

Jay, seemingly unbothered by your attitude, cracked open the door, surveying your condition before swinging it wide open to reveal a birthday cake in his hand.

Heeseung didn’t look any better than you in his black sweatsuit set and cowlicked ash-gray hair hiding his half-lidded eyes. Jay more than likely dragged him out of bed to help him prepare your surprise, yet he still gave you a smirk behind Jay’s shoulder and flashed you a peace sign.

With a mischievous smile, Jay strode to the edge of your bed wearing a typical pair of gray sweatpants and a black tank, his lean arms on display. “Morning, birthday girl.”

Heeseung made his way in and released a handful of red and pink balloons that floated to the ceiling; you’d think it was Valentine's Day or something. “Happy birthday, ___.”

Slowly, you dragged yourself up to sitting, keeping your blanket wrapped tightly around your shoulders. You rubbed your eyes, “I can’t believe I sabotaged myself with my alarm today.”

“Happens to the best of us,” Jay balanced the cake in one hand as he kneeled on the floor by your bed and ran a hand through his pale blonde hair, “And well, now you just have more of your day to enjoy. But first, cake.”

Of course, they knew better than to sing. You sighed and stared down at the simple, pink-frosted cake piped with red dollops in a heart-shaped border.

In the center was written in red frosting:

u can’t pick ur dad

but u can pick ur daddy(s)

hbd!!!

You snorted and pressed a hand to your lips, raising an eyebrow at the two. Grammatically, it didn’t even make any sense, but you guessed it wasn’t supposed to.

“What the hell is this? Which of you—” You barely managed to get out, shoulders shaking from laughter as you eyed Heeseung and gave Jay a look of scrutiny, “Or should I even bother to ask?”

In return, Jay playfully swiped the pads of his fingers across the corner of your lips, effectively smearing a bit of pink cream onto your skin.

“Hey—“ Despite flinching, your tongue automatically darted out to sample the rich semi-sweet frosting, eyes widening in approval, “Mm!”

Jay chuckled and licked the remaining frosting off of his thick fingers, watching as you quickly averted his gaze, “I baked and decorated it. Obviously. But this guy stalked your Pinterest boards and saw something similar. So that’s how we got the idea, I guess.”

“Stalked? I just follow her,” Heeseung insisted, twirling the pink ribbon from a balloon around his finger. The two of them glanced at each other, and despite being touched by the sentiment, you paused.

While you had some pretty questionable content saved to the boards on your account, you definitely couldn’t have known Heeseung bothered to keep an eye on them.

What else did they see?

“Oh— how thoughtful of you,” You glanced over at the culprit, who suddenly found your carpet fascinating.

Jay cleared his throat and gestured the candle-lit cake towards you, its dancing flames taunting you, “Well, make your wish before the candle wax melts all over it, ___. Anything you want?”

“Hm,” You casually stretched your arms and shrugged off your blanket to reveal your gym shorts riding up your thighs as you crossed your ankles, “So if I wished for you both to leave me alone right now, you’d grant my wish?”

Heeseung untangled his finger from the balloon ribbon, blinking in surprise just as Jay’s shoulders slumped slightly, a flicker of hurt unexpectedly crossing his features. The blond pressed his lips together and stood to his feet.

“Well, if that’s what you want. We’ll leave you be.”

“Jay…”

He nearly bumped into Heeseung on his way out but stopped at the sound of your sultry voice.

Heeseung seemed enraptured as you gnawed at your lips and ushered Jay back with a simple look and tilt of your chin. The younger man’s gaze settled on the stretch of your thin cotton shirt over your breasts, and you felt yourself flush.

“I’m fucking with you both. Bring my pretty cake back.”

Both of them seemed to perk up as though they misheard you before trying to cover up how your choice words affected them.

Jay huffed at your smug grin, “Go on then, blow it out, princess.”

With a roll of your eyes, you leaned forward and blew out the candles lined along the top of the rosy pink cake, leaving a trail of smoke in the air.

“There, I made my wish. Thank you, boys.”

The last word seemed to grate on Jay’s nerves, with the way he haphazardly slid your cake onto your desk.

“Hey, be careful. Why wouldn’t you handle your hard work with care? I’m gonna eat that later,” You quipped.

“What was your wish?” Jay dared to ask, crossing his arms as he leaned back onto your desk.

That earned him a weird look from you.

“You can’t just ask her that,” Heeseung nudged Jay in his side and took the opportunity to sit next to you, the mattress dipping under his weight. Heeseung was a bit intimidating in size, but his proximity didn’t make you uncomfortable in the slightest— or so you liked to tell yourself. “We’re not done with your gifts yet.”

You faced him and leaned back on your hand, placing the other atop your thighs, skin suddenly prickling with goosebumps. “No?”

Heeseung couldn’t help the subtle smile playing at his lips due to the unnecessary but predictable tension between you and Jay, “We know the extra attention isn’t your favorite, but just for today, don’t fight it.”

“What do you mean? Don’t fight what exactly…?” You continued to feign confusion, feeling your heart thump erratically as Heeseung tucked your messy hair behind your ears and dragged his soft caress along your warm cheeks.

You felt a sense of adoration in his touch, those languid eyes of his melting into your own so you wouldn’t have doubts about what was to follow.

“This,” The manner in which Heeseung moved against you was gentle but confident, his moist lips capturing yours as though he didn’t want a second with you to go to waste but still knew he could take his time with you.

How could you fight such a sweet kiss?

Not long after, Heeseung began to playfully prod his tongue along your inner cheek before swirling it against yours, slowly dropping his palms down your delicate neck, then even lower, until he found your soft breasts. The squeeze of his warm hands around them sent a jolt through your body and tightened the knot in your belly; you couldn’t help but arch your back to press closer to him with an airy moan.

It took a second before you realized the gravity of what you were doing with your shyest roommate and steadied yourself against his chest. “Heeseung—”

Then you felt a rougher set of fingers hook underneath your jaw and steal you away from Heeseung’s kisses.

Jay stood over you and held you in place, pressing a frosting-dipped thumb past your lips, the flavor awakening your tastebuds once more.

“Suck,” Jay commanded under his breath, which was somehow more intimidating than if he were to shout it. As he pushed the pad of his thumb down onto your wet muscle, you obediently closed your lips around the knuckle of his finger and met his keen eyes.

He nodded approvingly, “That’s a good girl.”

It was common for the two of you to always give each other a hard time, but if he ever overstepped his boundaries, he always made up for it through an unexpected warm gesture or a home-cooked meal the next day once things had simmered down. He wasn’t as much of a hardass as he let on.

At first, Heeseung appeared to be the most laid-back and benevolent of you three, but you always figured he was more of a maverick than one might initially guess. It wasn’t until he started playing clever pranks on you after a couple of months of getting to know him that you realized you’d finally cracked through that bashful exterior of his.

Although the three of you shared an undeniable chemistry that allowed you to live together as roommates without entirely wanting to rip each other’s throats out, neither of them had ever made a move on you before— and you couldn’t have ever guessed they’d make a move on you together.

Were there signals over the months that you’d missed? Looking back, yes, that might’ve been the case— but you’d chosen to ignore them due to an inability to make up your mind. Perhaps that’s why things were getting out of hand; you’d driven the two of them up the wall, and they had no choice but to retaliate.

All you could do right now is try to make it through whatever they had in store for you… and somehow, you didn’t mind that.

“Hate it?” Jay asked.

Judging by your heavy eyelids and the sweet hum of your voice vibrating against his digit, he had an idea that it was quite the contrary.

“Figured,” Jay removed his thumb from your mouth with a pop and leaned over to pull you against his lips for a crushing kiss of his own.

He was all heat and didn’t hesitate to tug your lips between his teeth or shove his tongue against yours until you were red in the face, gasping for air and more of him simultaneously.

“Mmh— Jay!”

He gave you a haughty look and continued to make a mess out of you, ruthlessly nipping at your ear and down your neck, knowing that you enjoyed the roughness of his affection. It almost killed you when he slowed down a bit, eyes flickering open to stare at you with his forehead pressed to yours, breathing the same air as you.

Right then, you felt Heeseung mouth over the fabric of your shirt, gradually coaxing your nipple to hardness. With the moan you rewarded him with, he grew bold and pulled the fabric over your breasts to take the one closest into his mouth, suckling sweetly around it.

You swore your nipples had a direct connection to your clit because it pulsed against your tight shorts and made you sink your fingers into tufts of Heeseung’s dark grey hair with a whimper.

Of course, Heeseung would be the one to make you give in.

After seeing your lovely reactions to his other roommate’s ministrations, Jay promptly kneeled on the bed and caught your other nipple with his soft lips. You cried out as he released it with a smack, only to continuously flick at the tip with his tongue, sending you into oblivion.

The two boys worked in tandem to pleasure you, tugging at your delicate nipples and laying kisses on your burning skin, the delicious sounds of their mouths worshiping your body falling on your ears. How they had their own ways of going about it made you feel even more cherished by the two. This was the kind of gift that kept on giving.

“Oh my god, that feels so good,” Panting, you tipped your head back and squeezed your eyes shut, letting the pleasure wash over your body at being tended to with such enthusiasm. Your panties were growing wetter by the second.

“I told you she’d lose it once we started milking her tits,” Heeseung commented, reaching up to stroke your cheek with his thumb, “Like the feeling of getting milked that much, baby?”

The way Heeseung addressed you made your stomach do flips.

“Mmn, yes… You guys are fucking— ah— crazy,” You whined helplessly.

“We’re not the ones posting kinky shit to our public socials,” Jay deflected with a hoarse laugh, remembering something in particular he saw on yours that he liked.

He continued to suck and knead at your breast with the intent to make you swell under his touch, and by the time you were begging for release, he wanted you to be soaked through your little shorts.

With a bit of tooth and control, Jay gradually sucked around your areola until you let out a delighted yelp, in which he quelled your pain with laps of his tongue. He was extremely cognizant of how your hips twitched, inviting him to touch you further.

“Hngh— please, it’s not like I planted a seed in your minds. You were both perverts to start with,” You shot back despite feeling stranded in the fog of bliss, “Jacking off in the shower with my soap…”

Jay, in particular, froze at your accusation.

“I’ve used that brand my whole life and noticed each bottle went quicker ever since I moved in with you two. And then jacking off in my bed when I’m not home—”

You punctuated your slight annoyance by curling your fingers around Heeseung’s cheeks. That irked you a bit more than Jay’s shower antics for hygienic reasons.

“I can smell your shampoo all over my pillow, you know. Can you at least change my sheets out of courtesy once you’re done? Bet you wanted me to figure it out, didn’t you?”

The entirety of Heeseung’s skin above his collar turned a deep shade of scarlet, his large eyes shining from embarrassment. “Shit, uh. I-I…I’m sorry. I’ll make it up to you. I’ll even do your laundry for a month.”

“What, so you can steal another pair of my panties?”

Heeseung couldn’t hide his startled expression. A few seconds passed before a smirk made its way onto his flushed face, and he wet his lips. “‘Course not …”

Jay cocked a brow at Heeseung having been exposed to the degree that he was. Really, the two of them should’ve known better. Although the blond wasn’t sure if there were more things Heeseung’s done that you hadn’t caught onto yet, he knew that to be so in his case.

“I knew it all along,” You sat up straighter and stroked Jay and Heeseung beneath their chin, spreading your legs to reveal how your arousal had seeped through your layer of panties staining the fabric of your bottoms a darker, enticing shade.

With greedy looks in their eyes, both boys set their sights on the evidence of your excitement, saliva collecting under their tongues.

“So, how are you both really gonna make up for such shameless, deranged behavior?”

Heeseung felt his cock twitch heavily in his sweatpants at your challenge, knowing it was all your fault.

“We were just getting to that part,” Jay appealed, caressing his hand along your inner thigh, dipping closer and closer to your warmth, “___, trust me, you’ll forget all about our fuck-ups in a few minutes.”

“Yeah, we’ll see about that,” You directed Heeseung to continue stimulating your tits by dragging his chin forward as you leaned back onto your elbows.

He peeked over his shoulder at Jay, who positioned himself between your legs, and it was evident by the dark glint in his eyes that he wanted to taste you as well. However, you judged his sinful shenanigans to be greater than Jay’s and instead jerked his head towards your chest, your free hand gripping your breast.

“C’mon, Daddy, make my wish come true. Milk my tits and pussy, I want it so badly...”

That was a first. Your words seemed to reset the two back in order; Heeseung’s breath caught in his chest, but Jay fell back into the flow of things quicker.

“Shit, baby. We’ll give it to you.”

You squirmed as Jay ran his hot tongue over the seam tucked between your swollen mound, his fingers tugging at your waistband to strip you bare.

Heeseung held your hazy gaze as he yanked off his top, tossing it onto the floor before diving back into devouring your breasts. With each messy kiss placed on your chest, your entire body shuddered, and Heeseung found himself groaning against your skin from how amazing it felt to finally gratify his urges for you.

It was so satisfying to make you moan nonsensical things while feeling your nails scrape along his nape and upper back.

Once Jay freed you from your shorts, all that was left was your drenched panties, which he took an even more passionate lap at, shoving his tongue against the dip of your entrance through the fabric but all too conveniently avoiding where you needed him most.

“Mm, Daddy… please,” You whispered with a gulp, spreading your legs even wider to lure him in, “Please make me come on your tongue.”

Jay’s eyes softened; in return, he pressed a kiss to the flesh of your trembling thigh and began to remove the last barrier of clothing that kept him from your warm, wet pussy. “Alright, baby. I’m gonna help you come so much, okay?”

“Mhmm…” You nodded.

Ah, it was so different to see him like this. He’d always spoiled you one way or another, hadn’t he?

If only you noticed how his cock was straining in his pants at seeing you spread so prettily for him while thoroughly enjoying getting your tits sucked.

“I haven’t seen a pussy prettier than this,” Jay commented, catching his roommate’s attention.

For a second, you were given a chance to breathe and merely collapsed onto the sheets, staring up at the balloon-covered ceiling as Heeseung leaned over your body to enjoy the sight of your arousal dripping down your folds.

“Fuck, it’s so wet,” Heeseung murmured, his eyes drinking up the erotic view of you from above as he spread your lips apart with his middle and index fingers. “Look at that drooly little hole. It’s clenching so tightly…”

Jay chuckled, and you could only whimper, feeling Heeseung’s breath ghost over your pussy. Hearing them talk about you so casually caused your face to overheat; you wondered if they ever discussed you behind your back like this.

“Think this pink little clit would like it if we suck on it?”

Before Jay could respond, Heeseung pressed forward and swiped his tongue across your swollen clit, fit his lips around the nub, and then sucked.

“Heeseung!” You jerked against his face and reached back to grip your duvet, feeling more wetness drip onto your sheets.

Heeseung had the nerve to snicker in front of Jay’s face before pressing himself back up at the sound of your needy voice.

Jay’s jaw clenched, but he hadn’t made a move to stop the other male since it wasn’t against their agreement. All he could do was sink his grip into your mattress, pissed that Heeseung had just stolen the first taste of you from him.

Well, he did practically invite him over to gloat before feasting on you. He just didn’t anticipate that it’d backfire; should’ve thought twice about that.

Little did you know it’d work in your favor.

“Mm, knew you’d taste like candy,” Heeseung hummed, clearly trying to hold back a smile. He tipped your chin up, his voice low and tender, “Give Daddy a kiss, I want you to taste yourself.”

You were tentative in doing so but eventually got lost in the sensation of sharing the taste of your arousal with Heeseung. It made your lips tingle, toes curling against Jay’s shoulders.

“Ah…”

Every inch of your skin became a magnet for Heeseung’s lips as he kept himself busy, rubbing at your tits, fully aware of the havoc he’d wreaked with Jay. He supposed that’s one thing he shared in common with you— getting on Jay’s nerves when he felt like it.

Oh, were you feeling absolutely dizzy now, and even more so when a plush pair of lips you’d been missing began to make out with your pussy.

You exhaled harshly and glimpsed down your body at the blond tending to your aching mound. All that softness previously on display was gone; Jay’s never looked more starved than he did now, grip fierce on your thighs whilst plunging his tongue into your pussy.

“Oh fuck, Jay—!“

He wasn’t messing around. With each heavy drag of his hot tongue on your clit, your muscles seized, breath growing shorter and shorter, your body on the brink of an orgasm.

Heeseung latched onto your tit and rolled your other nipple under his fingers, watching your desperate expression from beneath his lashes.

With the incredible sensations you were experiencing all over the pleasure points of your body, you were done for.

Jay reveled in the fact that you couldn’t keep your plush thighs from squeezing tightly around his head. He was just as attentive to your responses as Heeseung, his kisses to your clit pushing you over the edge as your eyes fluttered shut.

Shocks of pleasure traveled up your core, causing spasms throughout your entire body. The boys couldn’t get enough of your precious moans echoing off your bedroom walls, and Jay seemed to be enjoying your high as much as you were. You felt his moans rumble against your skin— had a feeling he was savoring every drop of you.

Heeseung fondly ran his fingers through strands of your hair strewn across the sheets while your limbs were awash with ecstasy. Despite your twitching, you felt Jay continue to dip between your thighs and gather your creamy release on his tongue. Shortly after, he crept over your body and reached for your jaw, his eyes trained on yours as you felt his cock scorch against your abdomen.

“Open,” He urged, and not a second later, you were mindlessly offering him your tongue.

Your cream dribbled from the tip of his tongue onto yours, like honey— and just before the strand could break, he sealed his lips over yours, stroking deeply and slowly into your mouth like he wanted you to blackout in his arms from lack of oxygen.

Oh god…

After all that, you managed to let out a breathless chuckle and offer Jay a bashful smile which he returned.

“So, did we somewhat make up for our shameless, deranged behavior?” He asked.

Well. You supposed you could say you weren’t nearly as put off by the secret perversions that took place over the past several months as you were 30 minutes ago.

You swallowed thickly, adrenaline still coursing through your veins as you pressed your sticky thighs together. “Yeah… a bit.”

“Just ‘a bit’ she says. Good thing we have more gifts,” Heeseung exchanged a look of amusement with Jay and kneeled by your side.

He began to stroke himself over the jet black sweatpants hanging low on his hips, brazenly shooting you a heated look as he did.

Without thinking, you reached out to touch him, and his large hand immediately covered yours, guiding you to squeeze along his thick cock and feel him up as you pleased. You just couldn’t get your hands on enough of him— either of them.

Heeseung clicked his tongue.

“Wanna open mine?”

—

A/N CONT.

Yay, I can finally add something to Jay’s repertoire! It was fun to see what naturally came out on the page for him in this fic, he ended up being Very Daddy. 😵‍💫 I actually started a femdom sub!Jay fic months ago but never got around to finishing it so I’m glad some other anons requested more of him lmao

I wasn’t sure if I’d like writing a threesome fic, but I thought I’d try it out– I didn’t hate it. A threesome tit sucking scene had been a long time comin 🤭 ANYWAYS Hee was a nice contrast to Jay in this as I’m still high off of him in NIIY. 🥰 This is also my first time writing in some aspects of a Daddy kink, but I’m still exploring it. Let me know if you enjoyed that aspect bc I know I usually tend towards more switch dynamics in my fics?

I was about to write a part 2, but I gotta get the other requests done! Also random but not, I feel like perv Hee is just a running joke in this fandom on here, so I’m just keeping the legend alive (again), he’s the official panty thief ™

As always, reblog, like or follow me if you enjoyed and check out my masterlist for more fics ⚰️🖤 It’s appreciated!

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chronically-ghosted · 8 months

Text

will it help?

rating: explicit 18+

pairing: javier peña x f!reader

word count: 1962

summary: javi can't sleep. he doesn't ask you but you help him anyway.

warnings: blow jobs, smoking, no y/n, ball tug

a/n: from @onmysluttyknees 's request: Peña prompt - “Everything in excess is bad, except you”

🤍Masterlist

In a post-Escobar world, things had changed.

Cali was snatching up the remnants of the empire left and right. The crimes were dirtier, sneakier, and backed up by the government. Allies were enemies and now enemies were allies. The whole game had been changed overnight and while the DEA was playing chess, the cartels had three boards of parcheesi going on under the table.

And, perhaps in the most horrifying change of all, Javier Peña buttoned his collar up all the way.

He didn’t smoke.

He wore nicotine patches.

He wore ties now.

He wore suit jackets, for christ’s sake.

He walked hunched and in silence through the office hallways now. He didn’t drink with the team and he was often the last one at the office. No one in recent memory could remember the last time some woman called the office looking for a “Señior Peña”.

It seemed, to everyone who knew him, Javier had become a respectable agent. He reigned in his “machismo”, as it were. He had learned something about restraint. Call it the effects of war, post-war syndrome, but Javier was a changed man.

Nope.

To you, who actually knew him, Javier just got better at hiding it.

He still smoked like a goddamn chimney.

“Those things’ll kill you, you know that?”

He glances up from the floor, shirtless, in jeans, case files and documents spread around him like debris, smoke rising from in between his fingers. Three more burnt out nubs curled around gray ash in the tray.

It’s past two in the morning. He only does this when the insomnia is particularly bad.

There are dark circles under his eyes as he lifts his gaze up your bare thighs. You didn’t take his shirt to be particularly distracting; it was the only thing you could find in the darkness and eyes bleary with sleep. But he sighs as he looks you up and down.

“Did the light wake you up? I’m sorry – I’ll go into the kitchen next time,” he shakes his head. “Those fucking chairs are murder on my back, but –,”

“Did you already sort by date? If they’re making specific drops, there might be a pattern.”

You sit down on the other side of the paper half-circle surrounding him against the couch, taking up the files nearest you. He watches you in the low light, his mouth not yet curled up, but his eyes are bright.

“You don’t have to do this. You can go to sleep.”

“And those things’ll kill you,” you reply, not looking up.

He chuckles softly and puts out the half burnt cigarette. With a sigh, he picks up a few papers, collecting them and handing them to you. You notice his piles have been organized by location so you include those in the groupings, your thumbnail in your mouth as you try to see a higher pattern, a more digestible informational system. Head down, you miss the faint grin splitting his mouth open.

With a groan, he eases up onto his feet. As he passes by you on his way to the kitchen, his fingertips trail up your shoulder, ghost up your neck, intertwine with the loose ends of your hair, nails offering a hint of pressure against the back of your skull where he knows it makes you whine.

You arch your back up against his leg, your head against his thick thigh covered in jeans, his touch encouraging a feeling that oscillates between warm pleasure and hot arousal. Your eyes slipping close, he thumbs the line where your hair meets the skin of your forehead.

“You know I’ve cut back,” he hums quietly.

“Mhmm, on the days that don’t end in ‘y’.” He massages the rigid bend of your skull behind your ear and you bite back a moan.

“Are you going to tell me next that I drink too much? Sleep too much?” His eyebrow arches lazily, his tone answering his own question, as he drops the pad of his finger tip across your forehead.

You crack open an eye to look up at him. He’s smiling.

“You know sleeping in until noon is excessive.”

He snorts. “Everything in excess is bad.” Javi’s grip slides down your cheek, his middle finger pressed against the corner of your mouth. He taps once. “Except you.”

Inhaling the warmth and burn of the cigarette still between his fingers, you reach under the cuff of his jeans to his ankle. Fine hair, just above, a dusting over the arch of his foot.

“Will it help you sleep?”

“Does that matter?”

You dig your nails into the soft skin under his ankle. “I want you to sleep.”

His dark eyes harden, an exposed vulnerability tugging at the corners of his eyes, his mouth, making him look younger than he is.

“I don’t know if I can. But I want to try.”

You nod, satisfied with his sincerity. Another reward for knowing Javier the man and not only the agent; he never lied to you.

He breathes through those parted pink lips as you tuck your legs underneath you and roll up onto your knees. He stands there, an observer, as you rub your palm up his thigh, the muscles tense in anticipation and exertion. Your eyes caught with his as though tied together, you cup his half-hard length through his jeans, intentionally pressing the zipper into his growing erection. Javi swallows, a grunt so obviously caught in his throat. He doesn’t want you to have that just yet, he wants you to work for it. He needs you to make it rough.

You unbutton his jeans, fingers grazing the trail of hair that sinks beneath the waistband. He barely twitches. You unzip, the sound almost strikingly loud in the silence, over the distant wailing of sirens, over the almost buzzing heat of Bogota. You drop his gaze, wanting to watch this part, your lower muscles cramping in excitement. Javi breathes sharply through his nose when you reach in and bring out his cock.

In the days of Machismo Javi, there was a secret office bet going around about what his cock looked like. Shape, color, length, girth – there was money to be made all around. You are pleased to say that no one ever got it right.

Flush, darker than his skin, but redder than his nipples, you can honestly say you drool at the size of it every single fucking time.

You swallow, your mouth flushed with spit.

“Hey, save some of that for me.” Oh, the bastard is smug. But his touch is tender, affection as he rubs his thumb under your bottom lip.

You eye him as his grows, lengths, aroused by just you looking at him. You nip at his thumb, hands squeezing his thighs.

“Yes, sir.”

You aren’t sure if the noise he makes comes from your words or the fact that you swallow him nearly to the hilt in one go. Fully erect in your mouth, hot and pulsing, Javi’s eyes roll back in his head and he drops his head against his shoulders.

“Oh, fuck, baby, that fucking mouth on you,” he groans.

You breathe out through your nose, pleased at his reaction. You shift higher on your knees, the pressure between your legs already verging on uncomfortable. There is a reason you loved riding him; with this fucking cock, it felt like he was going to split you open, his feet planted, hips bucking up into you.

Fuck. Focus.

You drag your mouth back, taking time to drag as much spit and drool along his length as possible. You come to the end, swirl your tongue as if you are sucking up the curve of an ice cream cone against the thick vein underneath his cock and he audibly moans, the sound like the plates of the earth shifting to relieve volcanic duress.

His hands fly to your hair, his hips bucking to chase the heat of your mouth, but your hands at his thighs hold him back.

“Fuck, sorry.”

You accept his apology with the tip of your tongue catching on the head of his cock – he trembles under your palms – before taking him in half way, then all the way, then halfway again. You fuck him with your mouth like he fucks your cunt. His fingers tighten in your hair, nails scratching your scalp.

“Tha’s it, suck my cock, baby, suck it.”

You slide all the way down, your tongue rubbing against the ridges, your cheeks hallowed in, your mouth a vacuum seal, and your nose brushes the short, harsh hairs around his groin. And then you do, indeed, suck.

His hips lurch forward, you are expecting that, knowing exactly what that does to him, but still, he pounds the back of your throat and you gag, mouthful of him. Your eyes water, lashes suddenly wet, but he wipes them with his thumb, turning your jaw up to look at him.

Eyes pitch black, mouth agape, chest heaving, Javi looks like you could ask for the moon and he’d go out and find his best lasso. He swallows, the air jagged as he gulps it down.

“Eres tan sucia. Lo tomas sin que te lo pida. Te lo tomas tan bien.”

You can’t help but grin, spit dribbling around the corner of your mouth. He’s started speaking rapid, almost unintelligible Spanish, it won’t be long now.

He continues spewing filthy dirty things at you so you drop your jaw out of his grip, pull back out all the way, a string of spittle caught between your lips and the head of his cock, and kitten-lick the precum from his flushed skin. He punches out a groan. With your hand thoughtfully placed on the inside of his thigh, you lick him again, tug his balls just barely, and then release your jaw to swallow him entirely.

His knees buckle, a pink flush erupting up his chest, and he spews down the back of your throat with such force, you gag again. But you hold on, your nails digging into his jeans, eyes streaming until he stops, his hips slow in their thrusting, his fingers tightly latched on the crown of your head.

You can’t really understand him but you catch phrases in both Spanish and English as his body relaxes.

Oh my god

Holy shit

Fuck fuck fuck

Oh my god

You drag back mindfully of his sensitivity, your cheeks and jaw damp with tears. You finally swallow when he’s gone from your mouth, but it’s too much and his cum leaks out of the corner of your mouth.

“Oh, baby, what a fucking mess.”

He drops to his knees, wiping your lips clean with his thumb. He sucks his own thumb once before dropping his mouth to kiss you hotly on the mouth. Javier was always better at using his body, his actions to express how he feels than using words, and you can practically taste the praise, the appreciation, the awe he transfers in that kiss.

He’s shaking a bit when he pulls back. He continues back, pulling you with him until you’re both on your backs, looking up at the popcorn ceiling.

His thumb is tracing lazily whorls on the back of your neck.

“If you think those chairs on murder on your back, this floor is going to annihilate you.”

He chuckles, the sound warm in his chest beneath your palm.

“I know, cariño.”

“Do you think you can sleep?”

He rubs his face as he sits up. You follow him and take his hand, intertwining your fingers. He looks at your hand in his, contemplative as ever. But the storm clouds often present in his eyes aren’t there. He looks, shockingly, relaxed.

He nods.

“I’m willing to try.”

#javier peña x y/n #javier pena x y/n #javier pena x reader #javier peña #javier pena fic #javier pena x you #javier pena angst #narcos #pedro pascal characters #pedro pascal character #pedro pascal character fanfic #javier peña/reader

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mvltisstuff · 10 months

Note

Hi, i hope you’re doing well! 🫶

I was wondering if you could write a fic with Evan Buckley x reader where she gets caught up in the car accident of 4x09 (blindsided) like Albert was and is in a wheelchair due to it and buck helps her with her physical therapy recovery etc. Lots of angst, anger, heartbreak but also fluff pls. (If possible) 🫶🤍

thank you!! ❤️‍🩹

medicine - e.b

summary: request :)

evan buckley x reader

a/n: i got this request too, so i decided to combine the two, hope that’s ok 🩶

the accident had severely limited y/n’s mobility. a spinal injury left her ridden to a wheelchair, unsure if she’d be able to ever move the way she was before. the constant back and forth to doctors appointments and several surgeries after the collision had completely blew out the flame in her mind, leaving only ash and a lack of hope.

buck tries to be there, but it brings him back to his own accident. the fire engine laying on top of him, not being able to move without feeling excruciating pain. he was intolerable afterwards. he went as far as suing the city to get back to his job. he could imagine how y/n was feeling, but he couldn’t fully understand. pushing herself would only make it worse, but she couldn’t stop. every single day was an active fight against her own body, the body she felt was betraying her.

she relives the moment the cars clashed together the whole day. a lot of people might force it out of their mind, but she made sure she remembered all the small details of it. the pain, the thoughts, the sirens, the broken car pieces. the worst part about it was having zero answers to her end result. it was bad, there was no denying that. she couldn’t walk on her own, let alone stand up by herself and successfully hold herself. so, she relied on buck.

he helped her move, wheeled her around, took her to her appointments, and told her not to worry about work. she was born to be a first responder. she’s been dreaming about it since she hit middle school, knowing exactly what she wants to do. she felt like she was drowning in a pit of people who needed to be saved. alas, she couldn’t do a single thing about it.

“y/n, c’mon, you have to eat,” buck tries to coerce her into a few bites, but she just pushes them around in the food box. he wanted to help her so bad, to give her the world, but she couldn’t accept it in the state she was in. she saw the pity looks from everyone, knowing that it wasn’t her fault this happened to her. “listen, i get it-“

“you do, buck? you think you understand but it’s completely different.”

“honey, just hear me out for a minute. you saw me at my worst. blood clots and surgeries and all.”

“i cannot stand up on my own. i cannot drive my car. i cannot shower. i cannot leave my apartment without someone pushing me out of it. i cannot use the fucking bathroom. this is not at all the same.”

“i’m not going to let you ruin yourself the way i almost did,” he looks her dead in the eye, trying to give her a slice of reality through the grief and panic she’s feeling.

“yeah, you just abandoned everyone you love so you could go back to work,” her words sting in bucks chest, mentioning his worst regrets. the way he acted during that time was nothing but sadness for himself. buck excused himself, y/n wishing she could do the same but she was confined on the first floor. he shut the bathroom door lightly behind him. his hands were pressed against his face, pushing the tears in his eyes back so y/n didn’t see him cry.

maybe it’s just a bad day, he thought. he prayed it was just a bad day. and he prayed that the rest of their days wouldn’t be bad ones as well.

it was weeks after weeks that y/n had been fighting this battle toward improvement. it felt like everything she did was one step forward and two steps back. was it really worth it?

losing the movement of your legs was almost equal to losing someone. you rely on someone forever, for them to just vanish in the blink of an eye. before you can even think and certainly before you can say goodbye. nothing can prepare you for the grief of either of these situations.

even on days that buck had to return to work, carla had come over. she was driving y/n places, taking her out and picking up her prescriptions. physical therapy had been paying off, the exercises and treatments they’d done had been regaining her strength quickly.

“when can i get back to work?”

“y/n, we spoke about this,” her doctor said. they’d talked about how she wouldn’t be back for a long time, needing to completely heal before she returned. if she returned. she shook her head and looked down. “you have to give your body time.”

“it’s had time. it’s been months and months of waiting and i’m finally starting to make some advances.”

“you are, but healing from an injury this severe is going to take a long time. spinal injuries are insanely serious and you have to treat it like that.”

the drive home was silent. she made no attempts to speak to the kind-hearted woman in the drivers seat. helping her in and out of her chair, she sat on the couch and sat there, looking at the walls of her apartment with buck. when he finally arrived home after his shift, he spotted her on the couch.

“hey,” he says, placing his stuff down on the counter. “how was your day?” she doesn’t reply, so he waits a few seconds.

“i cant go back to work for a long time.”

“i know.”

“i cannot do this, buck. i need my job,” buck moves over to crouch in front of her, sitting on the table in front of the couch.

“y/n, you have so much stuff in your life that will give you a meaning. you will never be defined by your physical abilities. this is not your fault.”

“it is completely my fault!” her eyes water. “i build my strength up every day for nothing in return! i haven’t pushed myself but it’s not getting me any further and i am worth nothing if i can’t handle this.”

bucks heart breaks at each word escaping from her lips. her beautiful soul had been picked at and teased by her own body, and it felt like the world was laughing at her. everyone looked at her the same. if not in a better light. he wanted her to know that she still shines, even if she’s in a wheelchair.

“i’ve been trying so hard and it will never be enough, will it?”

“look at me, right now,” buck forces. “you will forever be enough. i know they say time heals all wounds but forget that shit, ok? you will always be healing from this. it’s a matter of what stage your healing in. you’re not taking too long. you have your whole life waiting for you, and you are enough.”

“no,” she peeps out, shaking her head in his hands. he nods in response.

“yes. yes, baby, you are enough.”

“buck, stop,” she tries to pick his hands away from her.

“you are enough,” he replies. “and i’m not stopping until you believe it.”

her wet eyes physically cannot pull them away from his own, seeing nothing but pure love and admiration for her reflecting in them. she leans forward, not being able to help herself from the urge she feels to kiss him.

“i’m so sorry, buck. i’m so, so sorry, i put you through hell, and oh my god,” she’s hyperventilating her words out, worrying buck as he tries anything to calm her down. “oh my god, this fucking sucks.”

“i know, just breathe,” he sits next to her, pulling her in and swinging her legs over his. “honey, you have to breathe for me, ok?”

she staples her eyes on his, locking them and not moving until she calms down. her heartbeat begins to slow again, and her choppy inhales start to fall back into a normal rhythm.

“i love you so much,” she speaks out softly to him while playing with his fingers.

“i love you no matter what, y/n,” he replies. “and my heart will never stop beating for you.”

the night sky had rolled in, and the noise outside had quieted to a few cars on the highway now and then. for the first time since before her accident, y/n felt safe, and finally was feeling enough.

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whowantslovergirl · 10 months

Note

Fezco x rue’s older cousin reader ?

An: YESYES 🤭

Perfect Couple

Fezco x bennet! reader (gender not specified but is called ma)

warnings: cursing, smoking, hope you enjoy my lovers 🤍

euphoria masterlist

Summary: Fezco and Y/N’s relationship timeline

posted: June 29,2023

How Fez and N/N met:

You were going to pick up Rue for some ‘cousin bonding’ as she would call it. And you guys were going to get some rolling papers since you ran out. You finally get to the house and honk the horn multiple times.

She finally came running out and you’re still honking the horn just to piss her off. “I’m here! I’m here!” She got into passenger seat and hugged you. “Hey Seth Rogen!” You start to drive to her plug.

“Stop calling me that. Jules is gonna think she can call me that.” She said pouting. “Oh your girlfriend? She wouldn’t be wrong though. You dress like Seth Rogen”

“She’s not my girlfriend. And no I do not.” You just nod.

That’s her girlfriend. And she does.

“So who are we driving too?”

“Oh his name is Fez and his little brother ashtray.”

You look at her. “His name is Ashtray? Like his biological name?” She just shrugs. “I don’t know his name is just like that.”

“But you would like Fez. He’s your type.” You just shrug her off. “Shut up you don’t know my type.”

“Yea I do it’s white boys with swag. As you would say.” You just roll your eyes and continue the drive.

_____

“Hey rue. Who’s this one over here?” Fez said pointing at you. “This my cousin Y/N.”

“Hey.” You give him a awkward wave. Rue was right. He is your type. Tall, pretty eyes, good style. “Hey.” He said looking at you up and down.

_____

You get your papers and when you were about to leave Fez called you. “Hey Y/N. Can I get your number ma?” You may have giggled at the nickname. “Um yea of course.” You give him your number. You turn around to see Rue smiling at you.

“I told you!”

The first time N/N and Fez facetimed:

You were pacing back and forth. He wants to ‘see your face’ and yea you guys talked and stuff but it’s just something about facetime that’s nerve wracking.

You called Rue out of panic. “Hey cuz. Ew why are you like sweating?”

“Fez wants to facetime!”

“And that’s a panic situation because….”

“Because Seth it’s different!”

Then he started to call.

“Oh my god! Oh my god! He’s calling! Rue he’s calling!”

“Then answer it…”

And you did. “Hey Fez.”

“Hey ma. Why you look so nervous?” He said smiling. Wow, he has a really pretty smile. “No reason just overthinking about something.”

“Well what you thinking about?”

You told him you were nervous about the call and he laughed in your face.

“God! It’s not funny!”

When Fez and N/N first smoked together:

Fez invited you to smoke because you said you were bored and you wanted some weed. He was on the phone while you were driving. “You’re so vain. You probably think this song is about you.” You were singing lowly. You were watching the movie a few days ago and the song’s been stuck in your head ever since.

“What’s that song from?” You made a shocked face. “You never saw that movie?!” He just said no. “Really?! How to lose a guy in 10 days?!” “I don’t watch romance movies.”

“Ok we are gonna watch it when I get there.”

“What’s it even about?”

“So it’s about this girl named Andie and she makes like cute little tips and she wants to make something real right? And she comes up with this article how to lose a guy in 10 days. Then this guy named Ben bets to his co workers that he can make a girl fall in love with him in 10 days.”

“They’re doing the opposite of each other’s goals or something.”

“Yeah exactly!”

“Alright ma, Ima get the movie ready.”

_____

You knocked on the door. And Ashtray opened it. “Hey Ash. I got your favorite.” You give him a bag of those airhead bites. Not too long ago you brought them when you came over. He asked for one and when you gave him one he fell in love and told you.

“Everytime you come over bring these.”

“Yes! Thanks Y/N.” He walked to his room. And Fez came from the kitchen and hugged you. “Hey ma. I told you not give him those shits.”

“But he’s likes them.” You pulled away and went to the couch. He sat next to you and gave you a blunt. And you guys started to do your thing and watch the movie.

_____

“That movie was actually good.” He said smiling. “What was your favorite part?” You asked him.

“The dog, that motherfucker was funny looking.”

You guys started to laugh.

When Fez finally asked N/N to be his girl:

After a lot of smoke and movie sessions you guys were at your apartment just laying in bed. Your head on his chest and his hand drawing shapes on your hip. “You wanna be my girl?”

You looked at him abruptly. “You’re finally asking me after six months?!”

“Why you so surprised?”

You shrugged. “I don’t know I’m just not used to waiting I guess.” He smiled.

“You don’t chase you attract. I like that.”

You let out a small laugh. “You still didn’t answer me ma. You my girl?”

“Yeah sure. Why not?”

He leaned in and you smiled into the kiss.

Fez and N/N were the perfect couple.

An: YESYESYES hoped y’all enjoyed this is probably one of my favs YALL i just want to do a former apology for all the song fics i plan on posting but until I post again my lovers 🤍 *hint: pope x reader*

#my lovers on top #euphoria #euphoria x reader #fezco #fezco x reader #rue bennett

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jtl-fics · 9 days

Note

Happy Wednesday Ash

How is the TSC reading going? but more importantly how is Smith doing? Ready to blossom? 🌼

A glimpse of TBD please? 🤗🤍

WIP Wednesday 4/17/24 | TBD

He walks past another microphone thrust into his face without even a first glance towards the media table that had been set up. He has a publicist for his new team at his side that says something placating to whatever question Andrew hadn’t been bothered to answer. He just wants to get this whole thing over with.

He doesn’t get why the fuck it is anything resembling a ‘news story’ that he’s transferring teams. His contract is up with the Chicago Pumas and now he wants to move somewhere that he won’t freeze his ass off. It’s not that deep. Atlanta is warmer than Chicago, and they’re willing to pay him more.

#I have not read any of TSC because I haven't been in a reading mood #but also I have zero issues with being spoiled because I am simply too dumb to spoil #TBD AU #AFTG #AFTG AU #Andreil #Andrew Minyard #Neil Josten #TBD - Chapter 1 - 02 #4-17-24 WIP Wednesday #WIP Wednesday Ask Game #12

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thehighpriestess1 · 9 months

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I just realized, in the series August, if Satoru were to get Y/N as his (personal) assistant, then hhhhhhoooooo boy. It’s gonna be cloud 999,999,999 for Satoru.

That man is going to see his wife in a tight ass pencil skirt and he’s gonna be staring at that juicy peach all day long~! 😏 Tons of sexual tension & innuendos will definitely spawn.

Office sex will then be a must for him. 😤 He has to make sure they do it at least once a week. 🤭 ppfftt Satoru is finally gonna get a 1-up point into who gets mommy more, from Keisuke. 🤣😂

Heheh and then the rest of the staff in the Gojo estate will be dumbfounded & deadpan as they witness the sexual atmosphere between the Gojo couple. 😂

You bet!!!

CEO Gojo with his wife as his personal assistant!

From the series : August

Everyone would be surprised to see the reader work for Gojo because why does she need to work, right? Yuta would tease Gojo by saying that now all his work gets done one time. Gojo would get her a desk similar to his and would set up right next to his so he could look at her all day. Would he get her fresh flowers and coffee everyday? Yes. It's a Gojo x reader ritual. When they leave in the morning he would tease Keisuke, "I am taking your mom away! She will be with me all day and I will kiss her as much as I want!". He would get Mr.Giraffe thrown at his face. He would purposely match their office clothes! He would buy multiple pairs of couples watched and would insist on wearing same as hers'. If he sees her working a bit too much he would dead-ass give everyone a day off just so his wife could rest! He would schedule an hour after lunch as 'cuddle time' When he would simply cuddle with the reader on the couch. If the reader is working but Gojo wants her attention, he would throw paperclips con her desk or write a not and throw it on her desk. He is annoying but he is adorable.

nsfw below the cut so proceed at your won risk. Minors stay away please

He would add 'wearing pencil skirts' as a job requirement and would stare at that cute butt ALL.THE.TIME. Would he pull reader into a heated kiss in between work? Yes! Would be absolutely shameless in teasing her about it? Yes! Would he spank her with the file that she hands him? Yes! Would he rub that butt while shamelessly staring at her cleavage while she explains something to him? Yes! Would he call it the 'best role play ever'? Yes! He would definitely tell the reader that he is cheating on her with his personal secretary and when the reader tells him that she is also cheating on him with her boss he would legit pout and act like a whole ass baby!

"Satoru! Ple...please!". You whined as you threw your head back.

"Is that what you call me? Only because I have my cock buried inside you does not mean we drop the formalities right?". Gojo grinned and sank further into the leather couch spreading his legs wide to further push into you.

You navy blue pencil skirt bunched up at your waist and the buttons of your shirt opened to expose your baby blue lace bra to Gojo. This was his version of punishment. Every time you disobeyed him you would end up in the same position, but Gojo would leave all the work to you. After all he was your superior within these four walls. It absolutely drove him feral when you disobeyed him and begged him to help you get your release. All this cockiness and mean behaviour was a coy, in reality the moment you arched your back and shoved your filled tits in his face, he was a goner.

"Please...sir". You pouted as you struggled to move.

Gojo grabbed your hips and lifted you up and started pounding into you like a mad man. You buried your head in the crook of his neck and sucked on the soft pale skin to muffle your moans but that drive him closer to the edge. You crashed you lips on his' and you both moaned into each other's mouth as you came together.

When you walked out of his office together Gojo winked at you, "Nice work today, y/n-san!". You simply rolled your eyes and scoffed. Leaving everyone around the two of your confused.

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orangesaek · 1 year

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Since it’s Christmas, Merry Christmas btw 🥰 maybe bff reader x jaehyun who secretly crushes on each other and ends up below a mistletoe during a party 🥹

OMG although it's late, but Merry Christmas to you and your loved ones! Happy New Year 🤍 thanks so much for your request, and so sorry it took so long 🥲 anyway, I hope you see this and let me know if you liked it 💕

warnings: mentions of alcohol and some light cussing lol again, nothing serious! safe for minors 🤍

a/n: slightly proofread

---

It was Christmas Eve, and Chenle has invited everyone to his house for a small party. With his mom flying back to Shanghai to attend a very important business meeting, Chenle had the entire house all to himself. And although not everyone in NCT was able to come over since they also had other plans with their family, he was still happy to have at least some of his hyungs with him.

Including you, Jaehyun's bestfriend since middle school, who had also become one of Chenle's treasured friends over the years.

"Hyung, be careful." Ten gently reminded Yuta, who was assigned to chop up the vegetables along with Yangyang.

"Hai~ thank you." Yuta responded, his eyes focused on the cucumber in front of him.

Everybody was actually busy doing something as soon as you arrived. Some of the guys put up the decorations for the party, some set up the Christmas tree, and some of them prepared the food.

Meanwhile, you were assigned to take care of Chenle's one and only princess—Daegal.

"Is Jaehyun still not done with his schedule?" Johnny asked you as he came down from the ladder after being assigned to put up the Christmas lights in the living room along with Jeno, while Jungwoo, Hendery, and Ten decorated the Christmas tree.

"Not sure... he promised he'll be here before midnight, though." you answered. You looked at the time on your wristwatch before letting out a quiet sigh. It was already 9pm.

"Renjun's on the way! He said he's with Jaehyun," Winwin shouted from the kitchen before going back to seasoning the salmon.

You heaved a sigh of relief at the update, but quickly turned to look at Johnny, who had sat beside you to rest after putting up the Christmas lights for the past hour.

"I have a feeling we're gonna starve later." you chuckled, turning your head to the direction of the kitchen. Johnny chuckled as well.

"I know, right? Such a crazy group of people." he said before chuckling some more. "But as long as Kun and Doyoung is there to supervise, then everything's gonna be fine. At least I'm hoping..."

All of the least skilled in the kitchen were assigned to cook that night, and you couldn't help but worry for Chenle's house getting burned down to ashes on Christmas day.

"What are some of the Korean members doing here anyway?" you asked out of curiosity after seeing Doyoung, Jungwoo, Jeno, Haechan, and Jaemin.

Nearly all of the members present in Chenle's house were the foreigners (except Mark, who has his family in Korea), so you wondered why some of the Korean members were there and not with their families.

"Oh, I'm not sure about the other guys, but Doyoung and Jungwoo told me they had dinner with their families before coming here." Johnny answered as he stretched his arms wide and exhaled in satisfaction. It was partially a lie. They were there to help carry out Chenle's plan to get you and Jaehyun to confess your hidden feelings for each other.

Although Chenle was the only one who knew about your feelings for Jaehyun, the other members have already caught on even before he has told them anything. And they were also successful in making Jaehyun confess through an extreme drinking session not too long ago that he's actually in love with you. Thanks to Haechan's shenanigans.

"Guys, I'm gonna start the grill outside!" Jaemin announced.

"Let me help." you kindly offered, still holding Daegal in your arms. Jaemin shook his head lightly and smiled at you.

"Noona, thank you, but I got this." he said before opening the sliding door that lead to the backyard. "But you can come watch if you're bored!"

You hopped on your feet and quickly followed Jaemin outside. You found it fascinating how he effortlessly started the fire and grilled the meat.

"My father taught me how to grill meat properly," he answered when you asked him where he learned to grill.

"Sorry i'm late." a familiar voice suddenly said. You turned around to see Jaehyun standing by the doorframe, hands in his pockets and a smile on his face.

You returned his smile and walked towards him in excitement, with Daegal still in your arms.

"Good to see you, hyung." Jaemin greeted quickly before turning his attention back to the grill. Jaehyun hummed in acknowledgement.

"How's my bestie doing? I missed you..." he said as he looked into your eyes. You felt your heart stop for a second, but just as you were about to respond, Jaehyun suddenly bent down and patted Daegal's head gently.

"My Daegal~ so cute!" he squealed as he softly bopped her nose with his index finger.

Your cheeks flushed in embarrassment and scoffed at him in disbelief. For a moment there, you really thought he was talking to you. And for the first time in your life, you were jealous of a dog.

"Okay, okay. I'm sorry," he chuckled with a teasing look on his face. "I was just kidding... kinda."

"I swear I would have already choked you if I wasn't holding Daegal right now." you said through gritted teeth.

"Ohhh~ kinky." he teased with a wink before putting his hands up in surrender after seeing you glower your eyes at him.

"Just kidding! Come on~" he chuckled some more before pulling you (and Daegal) in for a hug. "You know that I miss you the most." he quietly said, but this time, he was sincere.

You stayed quiet, slowly melting into his warm embrace.

"I hate being single." Jungwoo blurted, shaking his head as he passed behind Jaehyun, carrying a box of decors.

Jaehyun let go of you (much to your dismay) and let out a light chuckle.

"Let's get inside," he said, slinging his arm on your shoulders to pull you inside with him.

The two of you went over to the kitchen to check the other guys, and Jaehyun glanced at you with a worried look on his face.

"It's going to be okay," you mouthed to him before chuckling quietly, knowing exactly what he's thinking. "Doyoung and Kun are helping them. There's Chenle, too."

"Were there any changes in our plan?" Renjun asked quietly to the members sitting with him on the couch. Johnny, Ten, Jungwoo, Haechan and Hendery looked over to where you and Jaehyun were standing before turning their heads to look at Renjun.

"No, it's still the same." Jungwoo whispered.

"Yeah, Jeno put up the mistletoe over there earlier." Hendery whispered back as he pointed quickly to the mistletoe that was placed on one of the pendant lights above the kitchen counter. Perfectly hidden away.

Being a member of the 'poor eyesight group', Renjun had to squint his eyes to find it before letting out a gasp, to which Ten was quick to cover his mouth. He pulled Ten's hand away from him and checked his watch.

"But there's still a lot of time left. What if they end up finding it later?" Renjun asked in slight panic.

"That's why we need to start this party right now. I think the guys are almost done cooking anyway," Haechan whispered as he glanced to the kitchen. "We'll just have to keep those two distracted until then."

The other boys nodded in agreement.

"Hyung, noona~" Renjun called out (cutely) from the living room. You and Jaehyun (with Daegal now in his arms) whipped your heads and looked at the 6 boys.

"Come play Jenga with us!" Ten shouted. Jaehyun looked at you with a big smile on his face. It was one of his favorite games to play.

The two of you went over to them and Jungwoo patted the empty space between him and Johnny—your and Jaehyun's back facing away from the kitchen.

Unknown to you, the guys in the kitchen (namely Yuta, Winwin, Yangyang, Doyoung, Kun, and Chenle) exchanged knowing looks with a huge grin on their faces.

"They've commenced the plan," Kun whispered just enough for the guys to hear. "Let's finish this quick and join them."

"I'm gonna call the kids outside." Doyoung whispered back, giggling to himself as he made his way out of the kitchen and to the backyard where Jaemin and Jeno were.

Meanwhile, the 8 of you got pretty competitive and didn't even notice that you've been playing Jenga for more than an hour already.

Which means there's just a little over an hour left for the guys' plan to succeed.

"Okay, who wants to karaoke?" Doyoung asked as he walked over to the living room with the rest of the guys who have just finished cooking in the kitchen.

"Me!" Yangyang raised his hand in excitement, while the lot of you who were playing Jenga just hummed in response, too focused on the blocks of wood haphazardly stacked in front of you.

Everyone was having their own fun. Some exchanged turns in singing, some danced to the songs comically, and some (including you and Jaehyun) opted to play board games while laughing at the other guys' antics.

Chenle discreetly nudged Winwin (who was dancing like a drunk man next to Jungwoo) to look at the time. There was only less than 15 minutes left before midnight.

"Hyung, it's your time to shine." Chenle whispered. Winwin nodded and walked over to Jaehyun, kneeling to his side and lightly poking his shoulder.

Jaehyun put down his UNO cards and turned to face him.

"U-uhm," he stuttered nervously. "I was wondering if you could help us mix the drinks..."

Jaehyun was known around the group for being one of the best drinkers and one of the guys who actually knew how to create drinks.

"Sure, i'll just finish this round." he said. The other guys who heard his response, panicked.

"Hyung, we'll pause the game and wait for you and noona." Haechan said quickly.

You whipped your head to look at Haechan in shock.

"Me?" you pointed to yourself in disbelief. "I can't even make a simple glass of somaek for myself." you reasoned out.

"Then it's the perfect time you learn from the somaek master." Ten retorted. "Everything's already on the kitchen counter."

Jaehyun chuckled before standing up and dusting himself.

"Let's go, bestie." Jaehyun said as he offered his hand out to you. You sighed in defeat but took his hand anyway and walked (begrudgingly) to the kitchen.

As soon as your backs were turned, the guys cheered in silence, already feeling the success. Chenle looked at his watch and noted the remaining 10 minutes left.

"I still can't believe you suck at making somaek when i'm your bestfriend. Such a disappointment." Jaehyun said with a playful smirk on his lips as he opened a bottle of whiskey and some other drinks.

You let out a snort and handed him a measuring cup.

"I guess that means you failed as my bestfriend." you retorted. Jaehyun chuckled.

The two of you fell in comfortable silence as Jaehyun mixed the drinks and you assisted him. A soft smile fell on your lips when you looked at the guys having fun in the living room, singing and dancing their hearts out while the others munched on the snacks. Jaehyun secretly took a glance at you and chuckled.

"Something funny?" you asked accusingly as you turned your body to face him, one hand leaning on the counter and the other on your hip.

Jaehyun smiled, pouring some more alcohol into the mix.

"I just find you cute," he said, not looking at you. You blinked in surprise, feeling your heart skip a beat.

Jaehyun stopped what he was doing and put the ladel he used for mixing on the counter. It was his turn to face you, mirroring your body.

"You look like you've just seen the love of your life," he teased, looking straight into your eyes this time.

You could only respond with a snort and turned your attention back to fruits in front of you. You tried to ignore Jaehyun's stare, focusing on chopping up the fruits, when you suddenly felt his arms around your waist from the back.

"W-what are y—" you were about to protest when you felt his chin rest on your shoulder. You stood there frozen as Jaehyun let out a sigh.

"I was planning to get drunk before saying this, but anyway..." he started. "Remember how I've always received love confessions and gifts during Valentine's day when we were in school, but never dated any of them?"

You nodded slowly, remembering how Jaehyun was always on the receiving end of love but you have never witnessed him reciprocate any them at all. Not even once.

"And do you also remember when you got really drunk one time and called me on the phone in the middle of the night just to tell me that i'm a cold-hearted selfish jerk? And when I asked you why, you said it's because I never gave anyone a chance to really love me?"

You nodded again, slightly feeling embarrassed at the memory.

"Y-you know I never really meant that..." you said quietly, almost in a whisper. You could feel Jaehyun smiling.

"It doesn't matter," he lightly chuckled. "But do you know why I never gave my heart to anyone?" he asked.

"No..." you answered, shaking your head. He adjusted himself slightly, feeling his hug tighten, as if you were about to disappear suddenly if he loosened his hold on you.

"It's because of you," he sighed. You turned around to look at him in confusion. You weren't sure what he meant by that, or where the conversation was going.

"I-I don't... just what are you trying to say?" you asked, clearly puzzled.

"What I'm trying to say is that..." he answered as he held your hands in his, looking directly into your eyes with sincerity. "I can't give my heart to anybody else because you already have it. You've always had it."

You just blinked in response, unable to process everything he just said. Jaehyun softly smiled at you before gently pulling you in a hug.

"In other words, I like you," he said, his voice soft and full of sincerity. "More than just my bestfriend."

Despite your mind thinking it was just a dream, your heart swelled in happiness and you found yourself hugging him back.

"And here I was thinking it was one-sided all these years." you mumbled into the embrace.

Jaehyun let go of the hug and looked at you with a huge smile of relief.

"HURRY UP AND KISS!" Chenle shouted through the mic. You and Jaehyun looked at him and the other guys in utter confusion mixed with embarrassment. You totally forgot the guys were there as well, and have started wondering how much they have witnessed.

"HURRY! 10... 9... DAMN IT!" he shouted once more impatiently, and the rest of the guys have started counting as well.

You and Jaehyun faced each other with puzzled look on your faces before Doyoung abruptly took the mic from Chenle.

"THERE'S A GODDAMN MISTLETOE ABOVE YOU!" he shouted in frustration.

Jaehyun looked above, failing to find the mistletoe. He took a step back and finally found it hanging on the cover of one of the pendant lights. He gently pulled you to him and grinned.

"3...2..." the members counted. You blinked your eyes at Jaehyun, feeling your cheeks burn again from embarrassment.

"I love you," he said, holding your waist with one hand and the other gently lifting your chin up for a kiss. "and Merry Christmas." he mumbled into the kiss before taking your lips again.

- end.

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