#before tonight the movie would have been a movie about whales that also has not been translated in english

[ursae-minoris-world]

9 people you’d like to know better

I was tagged bu @bavariansugarcookie (thanks you!)

To be perfectly honest I was nervous about this because…. I think most of the time it’s for the purpose of bonding over common interests… but if I answer the questions honestly I often come up with random niche things, or even things that are well known in my country but not to people outside of it, and it’s often expected that your response will be something, well, that USA-Americans will have at least heard of (or can find with a quick search if they’re interested in it). So often I will end up talking about a book that wasn’t even translated in English and hear crickets. Or a lot of the music I listen to ends up being small local stuff or random youtube instrumental playlist I put on as background music while writing / drawing instead of a cool song people will know… Like, genuinely, what do you do about these memes if you response is something weird no-one will know? Do you just go for the closest answer where people will get the reference? Especially if you’re not USA-American or if you have other roots? (genuinely curious! you’re welcome to answer in the comments, just don’t reblog pls).

So. Sorry I’ll probably over-explain and speak of things no one really cares about…

1. 3 ships: sheith, Ineffable Husbands, Imodna

2. first ever ship: Lol, I’m not even sure what that means. I think the first (non canon) ship I was invested in was the main characters from a Belgian comic series called “Les tuniques bleues” ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Les_Tuniques_Bleues). They kept acting as if they didn’t like each other while CLEARLY caring a whole lot and saving each other’s lives and I had a lot of feels about it that I could not really explain! Like I started reading this when I was like, 10, until high-school lol. I had no words to put on those feelings, and no idea of the concept of shipping but now I can quite confidently say that I did ship them lol.

But idk. I also liked Leïla and Han in Star Wars as a kid for example. It’s hard to pin, really.

If you want something you’re more likely to know, and from a time I was in fandom, Kyo and Tohru in Fruitsbaket? (but I was not in the English side of fandom so ships were not such a big deal, even here for a shojo that had a love triangle lol). If you want more like, non-canon ships you’d have both Nana in, well, Nana (by Ai Yazawa).

If you want the first ship where I actually looked for fan content, then probably L x Light in Death Note ?

And then the first ship I actually got involved with (English speaking) fandom was sheith.

But tbh while I realized—late—that I always had ships, I don’t always care about ships in the stories I like.  I’m just as much likely to get invested in platonic relationships, friends, found families, or actual families.

3. last song: see, after going to the movies (see next question), we went to grab a beer and there was live music band. They did some classic songs (the first one was “Don’t Worry Be Happy”, and I remember Toxic and Hotel California), but mostly it was original songs they have composed. They do have an online presence and I thought about sharing a clip of one of the songs they played, then I remembered it’s a small local group and people on the internet are weird and creepy  (and I mean ants just as much or even more than your regular creep) so… 🤷 Ask me in dms if you’re a moot and interested I guess.

4. last movie: went to see Everything Everywhere All at Once for the 2nd time tonight. It was great.

5. currently reading: For the reference most people will get, I just finished Exit Strategy from the Murderbot Diaries by Martha Wells, which I loved (super fond of this series).

I’m also reading “Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine”  by Gail Honeyman, we have a book-club for it in one of my discords. I wouldn’t have picked it up myself and I’m glad I am actually reading it because I’m enjoying the way the main character is such an unreliable narrator and am curious of seeing things unfold.

I’m also reading “Le château des poisons” by Serge Brussolo (Castle of Poisons), because a friend lend it to me super long ago and I want to give it back when I see her next week. I’m meh about it: the setting (a mystery set in medieval France) is interesting and I want to know how the plot with be solved (if it will be), but this sort of gritty representation of medieval times is not my cup and the characters are a bit cliché.

For fanfic, I finished “Heart Nailed Open” by Perfchan this morning and I loved it so so much!!! I also have a bunch of books about art from the library…

6. currently watching: Trigun stampede (I’ve been procrastinating the end because I need to be emotionally ready lol). And Critical Role campaign 3 (also need to catch up with Vox Machina s2).

7. currently consuming: ...easter chocolates

8. currently craving: tea (always lol)

9 people to tag: I… didn’t follow who got tagged already so… if you see this and want to do it, consider yourself tagged!)

#memes #sorry for rambling and having weird niche answers #before tonight the movie would have been a movie about whales that also has not been translated in english #this is making me feel socially awkward lol #why can't I have normal answers

[plantfeed]

location: west wing, museum, during the ball.

trigger warnings: gore, blood, assault, murder etc.

some say the world will end in fire, some say in ice. from what i’ve tasted of desire / i hold with those who favor fire. but if it had to perish twice, i think i know enough of hate to say that for destruction ice / is also great and would suffice.

       cold is preferable to heat. the way alma sees it, you can put a jumper on, lace up your snow boots, light a fire in a conclave, but when the sun beats down on your back you can’t peel off your own skin. alma’s never been deterred by the snow — if anything, she feels at home in it — twelve years spent christmassing in vermont would do that to a person. snow was the unexpected knock of a long-lost cousin at the door, a crumpled cushion on the couch that remembered the curve of their spine. snow was the cold november she learned to ride zeta, the sixth star of the constellation, one hand on the horse’s reigns and the other in the wind as the first flecks of winter landed on her nose. of all the elements, water is alma’s, in its liquid form a symbol of change and renewal — but heed too much of it and you’ll drown. in its purest form, ice, sharp enough to cut a throat, cold enough to freeze a man to death. more often than not, she’s the latter. 

       her pervading coldness is less pronounced tonight, the folly of a ball enough to lift her spirits, etch a smile across her perpetually scowling lips, and — in a moment of madness, pure and instinctive — enough to raise her skirt enough for monty to trail their fingers up her thigh, the announcement of a building-wide lockdown breaking them from their stupor. there’s something sexy about the idea of being locked in, no escape, guards on every door. it forces you to rethink, to examine, to play house with the cards that have been dealt to you and send unwise texts for the sheer thrill of it, like if you care to finish what we started, meet me in the rothschilds room in five. little does she know she’ll never make it to the rothschild room, or get to finish the years old game that monty and alma play, or that this particular foray towards a sexcapade in the dark we’ll be her last. that she’ll never get her keira knightley in atonement fucked-against-a-bookshelf moment ticked off the bucket list, or at least not in this life.

       she’s already broken free of the throng of bodies gathered in the great hall when the lights begin to flicker and pulse like a lorde song, making her way down the west wing, skirts trailing behind her. whenever she’s in grand buildings like this one, alma imagines herself in a crinoline, hoiked within an inch of her life and laced up to the nines in whale boned corsets, how she’d tell the servants to fetch her the millais painting from the east wing, then bring it back, then fetch another, how she’d set her family little treasure hunts around the grounds to amuse their rich and listless hours. she could saltburn this place, if she wanted. she could gaslight the shit out of oliver quick, and he’d probably thank her for it. 

       the lights splutter out like a dying dog, harsh and visceral, and with the sudden sense that childhood is over, although she’d mourned it long before she entered adulthood. perhaps they go out all at once, or maybe it’s the slow pop of each bulb before her one-by-one snapping out in turn, the walls closing in around her, until the only one left is the one above her head, her final spotlight. she doesn’t have a candle to light the way, so the flashlight on her phone has to suffice. it’s a little less girl-in-a-period-drama and a little more final-girl-in-a-badly-reveiwed-a24-horror-movie, though she refuses to let her breath catch. fear’s a mind killer. fear is the enemy of a finely tuned performance. fear will kill you faster than the killing thing, if you let it, a virus in itself. she’s never let herself feel fear before without good reason. what’s so scary about a shortage of light?

       a text chimes on her phone, and her eyes struggle to adjust in the lowlight. monty’s waiting. she starts typing a response that she’s on her way, but doesn’t finish sending it, three bubbling dots that never resolve themselves, and then from somewhere in the dark, a pitchy giggle. she’s read every gillian flynn book. she devours murder mysteries. she’s seen the box set of that british tv show set in oxford, morse, and the sleepy small town midsomer murders. there were periods of her childhood where she spoke exclusively in a british accent and claimed that she could see ghosts. this doesn’t feel like one of those times. the laugh feels otherworldly and threatening in a way that cuts her to the core. 

       the rothschild room isn’t far from here, where monty’s waiting to unzip her dress, to kiss her neck, to tell her they’ve thought about it in the rehearsal room while the two of them perform a pas de deux. she should just fucking turn around and go and find monty. but the nancy drew instinct in her begs otherwise, a dull throb that’ll haunt her if she doesn’t find the source of the sound.

       so she follows it, a chorus of screams of ‘no! run!’ from the popcorn-munching audience she pictures in her mind, a projector wheel whirling on. or perhaps they’re bargaining for her death, taking bets on whether she’ll go quietly, what she looks like when she screams, if she’ll pull a knife from the gusset on her thigh and turn it around at the eleventh hour.

       “i’m not scared of you,” alma shouts into the dark, half-impressed by the strength of her own voice. it doesn’t hitch, doesn’t warble, firmer than she feels, though she grits her teeth, balls her fists, and stalks on towards the sound. that giggle again, only this time it’s different, behind her. she whisks around, plastic ballerina in a jewellery box, and feels the breath pulled from her, the throbbing pulse of something sharp in her back. if she had to place it, she’d say between the eleventh and twelfth vertebrae, although the shock of it sends an electric pang all up her spine. 

       it’s like a heat she never imagined, almost a burn. when “jesus christ” splits from her lips, she’s not sure if it’s a curse or a prayer, gathering her skirt (that stupid fucking dress, fuck gwen stefani) as she begins to run. alma clamours through the dark, thankful for the ballet flats she’d chosen in favour of heels, breath hot in her chest as the pain pulses in her ribs, like a belt being tugged around her heart. who the fuck would want to kill her? a knife in the back is perhaps ironic, considering the back catalogue of people she’s fucked over on her way to the proverbial top. there was the girl she’d tripped in their audition for juliard; the actress who developed a mysterious bout of food poisoning on opening night of antigone; the seminar partner who’s research paper had mysteriously disappeared after they left their library computer unlocked; the numerous farmhands whom she’s taunted over the years. perhaps a better question is not ‘who’d want to kill alma putnam’ but rather ‘who the fuck wouldn’t?

       something catches on her foot, and her phone skitters across the floor to a chorus of curses, spilling light across the walls, her hands clutching in the dark. “fuck, fuck, fuck.” she could be getting railed right now. she could be downstairs, dancing with masked strangers in the dark. instead, she’s engaging in a comical scooby doo chase scene, only her killer won’t be caught by a gaggle of meddling kids, and she can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel any more. it dawns on her that she’ll never make it rothschild room. she’ll never make it out of this museum. it's a theatrical way to go.

       when the second blow strikes — a clean blow to the chest — it throbs in her ribs, in her lungs, a spluttering in her breath, the taste of blood in her mouth. death shouldn’t come to her like this  alone in the west wing of an old museum while a ball beats on below. if she tunes out the dull throb of her heartbeat she can hear the pulse of robyn’s dancing on my own the floor below, the rounds of shots exchanged in the dark, mobile flashlights held like lighters at an open air concert. death should come to her as an old woman on a porch swing as she edits the final chapter of her memoirs. death should come to her in the theatre, struck down beneath a spotlight, a spectacle that haunts and amazes in equal measure. she should die before a crowd. instead, she’s completely alone, her breath growing quicker as the dual wounds that punctuate her back and chest grow colder. she knows from her anatomy textbooks that this is the part when she should start to panic, but that panicking will only make her die quicker. coldness pulses in the tips of her fingers. she starts to feel like a walking corpse. there’s no wiki how article on what to do when you feel yourself slipping out of the world.

       consciousness evades her. she swills in and out of it like a dancing moth around a candle, sometimes aware of the blood on her dress, or awake enough to let out a blood-curdling scream. every sound she makes is another claw reaching into her chest, compressing her lungs. in the end, when she cries out for mother, she can’t tell if she’s crying out for the woman who raised her, or for mercy from the mother they build statues of in churches.

       suffering feels religious if you do it right, and when she's hoisted up it feels almost like a crucifixion, the ropes around her torso no longer imagined but visceral. she always imagined that one day she’d get to fly in a show — as graceful in a harness as she is on her feet. well perhaps this is her final show, and to their credit, they’ve made a spectacle of it. it might be her best performance yet. she’d make a perverse joke about the ropes wrapped around her wrists if her lips weren’t too cold to speak. is this really how she goes out? not with a bang, but with a whimper, trying to come up with a kinky joke that’ll never reach its punchline. 

       “i hope…” she starts, and the words don’t seem to come from her mouth but from the mouth of a haggard witch twice her age, like an advert from an anti-smoking campaign. “they fucking… catch you… you cunt.” fitting that the last word she ever says would be ‘cunt’ when most of her life she’s been one. she doesn’t see their face, doesn’t see anything at all, the dark closing around her in more ways than one. above her, the ropes are creaking, body swinging like a witch. the last thing she feels before she slips from the world is a sharp spike impaling her through the heart.

#ding dong the witch is dead!! #tw death #tw stabbing #pretty cunty of me to write this and not even proofread it before i post....... #but im rushing around so here it is so u can all move on w the plot!! #i'll edit if i notice mistakes. #also i lov tht i told the admins it was gonna be short and then wrote this fckn monstrosity. im nothing if not consistent. #⥂ alma olive putnam. ╱ threads.

[fangirlandtheories]

for the top five game: ships, songs you listened to this past week, accessories, dream vacation destinations, fics you've read lately, food stuff you don't get to have often, comfort films

Thank you my love <3

Ships:

Steddie Obviously

Stobin FRIENDSHIP

Fruity Four Friendship/ Steve Harrington and The Party

Jopper

Lumax

Honorable mention: The friendship between Murray and Joyce *chefs kiss*

Songs:

Chiquitita - ABBA

Sunny - Boney M

Take On Me (Symphonic Version) - Aha

Say You Love Me - Fleetwood Mac

Hammer To Fall - Queen

Accessories:

Claddagh Ring from my late grandmother

Nose Ring that looks like this

Necklace, again from my late grandmother, that looks like this

This pride anklet

Clip on earrings, mostly from Claire's, these or these in particular

Dream Vacations: (doing this one in black so it's more visible)

Ireland or England. I am actually planning a trip to Ireland, England. and Scotland so I'm definitely made this the top of my list.

The Island of Tonga. This one is tricky because it's not a very feasible dream tbh. Tonga is very far from me but also this is a very environmentally selfish trip. The reason I want to go is because that is where Humpback Whales tend to migrate. I love whales and I would love to see them in the place where they are happiest and free.

Disney. I went when I was little and now I have 3 young nieces and I want to go with them because the magic of it would still exist for them and thus make it more magical for me.

The West Coast. For those that don't know, I am from Pennsylvania and the furthest west I have been is Wisconsin. I wanna see the other half the country on a big road trip.

Maine. I have spent about a week in Maine and it was my favorite place, to the point that I eventually want to move there. I wanna spend as much time as possible there.

Fics:

If you hold me without hurting me (you'll be the first who ever did) by charlies_ginger This one ripped me apart and is my NUMBER ONE favorite thing I've been reading lately.

2. Where the 20 Chain Links Lead by agentM40

Clearly I like to see Steve feeling insecure about his intelligence. This is my favorite trope right now and so far this one has ticked all the right box.

3. exeunt ; enter stage by stardustcoral

Vecna'd Steve is always a goldmine of angst and this one really focuses on the idea of Steve believing that he's hated by everyone before he can figure out that it's Vecna. A must read.

4. with no cross to bear (these words just come out) by hitlikehammers

Protective Steve is so incredible because that is his wheelhouse and he loves to show his love by protecting others HOWEVER protective Eddie is my jam. Eddie who will put everyone in their place and clear a path for his love is just simply too sweet and I adore it.

5. At Below Zero by StrangerSteddie

I am a whump girl through and through so give me all the Steve whump if you wanna see me happy. Truly if anyone ever wants to send me whump recommendations I'll read every single one. This is a prime example of well written whump.

Food I Don't Have Often:

Salmon, ironic because I am having it for dinner tonight

Oxtail. My mom made it once and it was soft and rich and so fucking delicious.

I call them Beef Rollatinis, it's been the birthday meal for the past few years. It's skirt steak rolled up with bell peppers, onions, and carrots with a balsamic glaze. It's the best.

Kentucky Butter Cake. It's so yummy and a pain in the ass to make.

Low Country Boil. It's a big pot of seafood all boiled together. We usually do clams, muscles, and shrimp, and then add in sausage, potatoes, and corn on the cob. It's expensive and kind of work heavy but it's so gooood.

Comfort Films:

Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again (Mamma Mia 2) WHEN CHER CAME OUT I SOBBED AND SCREAMED

Night At The Museum 2: Battle of the Smithsonian. I fucking love every NATM movie but this one in particular is the best fucking one. I am a history nerd and this one just settles so nicely in my soul.

The Wizard of Oz. Surprise! Me making Steve love Wizard of Oz is a reflection of it being one of my favorite movies from when I was little.

The Muppets Christmas Carol. IN THIS FAMILY WE LOVE THIS MOVIE. Michael Caine ate. By far the best Christmas movie ever written and nothing compares. I've watched it every year since I was 8.

Life is Beautiful. This movie comforts me but it also hurts me more than any other movie. It's tragic and painful yet goofy and loving and it makes me swoon every time but I have to insist that you watch it in the original Italian as Roberto Benigni intended.

Thank you so much love, this was a lot of fun!!!!

#stranger things #fic rec #steddie fic rec #ask me anything #steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson

[anthonysstupiddailyblog]

Anthony’s Stupid Daily Blog (92): Mon 13th Jun 2022

Watched the documentary movie Blackfish about the killer whale at Sea World that killed two trainers and one hippie who broke into the venue after hours and jumped in the tank...I have less sympathy for him than I do for the trainers. To be honest the very fact that you would even capture whales and have them perform in a theme park attraction at all has always seemed very peculiar to me. Aside from the cruelty of taking a creature that can literally go anywhere in the world it wants and sticking it in a small tank, the fact that no-one ever fathomed the possibility that having humans working with an animal with the word "killer" in it's name might occasionally result in tragedy seems quite odd. The really fucked up thing in the movie is where the Seaworld owners constantly blame the trainers for the whales almost killing them and dismiss the possibility that being stolen from their natural habitat might have contributed to them developing aggressive behavior. The moral of the story seems to be if you're going to kidnap animals and make them work with humans then pick animals that are completely non-violent so they don't pose any kind of threat to the trainers. That's probably what Sea World will be in a few years time when all the killer whales have died of natural causes. You'll have a bunch of trainers training flamingos and sloths to do tricks and trying to convince the audience that they are actually man eaters.

Watched a documentary about the drama that happened between Jay Leno and Conan O'Brien. Basically Jay Leno was told by NBC that they wanted him to step down from The Tonight Show so they could have Conan take his place. Leno didn't want to leave but out of respect for Conan he agreed to it and also decided to start his own show which would air just before The Tonight Show with Conan at the helm. Neither Conan's Tonight Show or Leno's new show got great ratings and so NBC told Conan to either take a slot after midnight so that Leno's show could have a better slot or leave The Tonight Show altogether. Conan decided that he wasn't going to be bullied into accepting a shitty time slot so decided to leave and NBC offered Leno The Tonight Show back and he accepted. A lot of people at the time and since pegged Jay Leno to be the bad guy in the situation and I certainly have more sympathy for Conan than I do for Leno but personally I think NBC was the real bad guy in the scenario. Not only did the push Leno out of his job but they then held a gun to Conan's head and told him to chose between a crappy slot or no Tonight Show. We can debate about whether the ethical thing to do would have been to support Conan by refusing to go back to The Tonight Show or to oppose the latter timeslot shift but at the end of the day both men were bullied into doing something they did not want to do. It's also hard to really feel sorry for either of them when you consider that they are both multi MULTI millionaires so fuck them.

[maries-gallery]

Armin is so soft for his elder little seashell, she loves to have advetures and play in the open air!! Armin would love to take her on aquariums, biology and surf lessons, life with her is so fun and lighthearted!! they'd swim together on the sea, she'd also love to hear her dad tell her stories and fun facts about the sealife, about giant whales and even mermaids!! Her bubbly and happy personality is her dad's joy,,, and she adores disney movies too, she'd bond w her lil sister over little mermaid.

she'd be the one who will wake Armin, you and her sister by peppering kisses all over your faces and the one who cries first (her lil sis following right after in sobs bc she wants daddy to stay so she can cuddle him😞) when Armin has to leave for work :( commander life is tough but he'd have to comfort and soothe his babies before he leaves🥺 (well it's kind of his fault since he was the one who held them all. the. time when they were babies, now they're ATTACHED)

genre : fluff

warnings : none

Armin lives for the smile that lights up her features as she runs over to another tank filled with colourful corals and swimming fishes. He delights in her sparkling eyes as the two of them walk on the beach, attentive and receptive to his every word as he tells her about myths of mermaids and fantastic creatures living in the sea. 

“Really ? You think they exist, dad ?” She asks, excited as she clings onto his sleeve, bright enthusiasm rivalling the light of the Sun above. 

He offers her a gentle smile, holding her tiny hand as they continue to walk, toes in sand and sea water licking their ankles. “Well, mermaids prefer to remain hidden. But who knows, maybe they do exist ?”

He tries to spend as much time with his daughters and you as he can, a real family man as he comes home and rushes to hold his seashells in his arms, lips meeting yours in a loving kiss as he gazes at you with gentle blue eyes.

“Hello, love. I missed you all today.” He says, tenderly caressing his little seashell’s head. “Now, what do we have planned for tonight ?” He asks them, not surprised when they eagerly answer Little Mermaid as this has been their to go movie for years now. 

It’s a ritual for the four of you to lie in bed, cuddled up in front of Disney movies, your daughters often falling asleep midway through. Armin and you carying them back to their room as quietly and gently as humanly possible not to stir them from their peaceful slumber. 

Armin’s heart melts as his older seashell climbs in your bed first thing in the morning and peppers his features with light kisses, gently waking him up before turning to you for the same wake up call. 

And he hates to see the sadness in their eyes as he departs for work in the morning, wishing he could spend all day at home with the three of you, enjoying some family time and helping you around. But alas, responsibilities weigh heavy on his shoulders and with every hug he promises to try and come home earlier. As nothing matters more to him than his three treasures. 

At work, his gaze often wanders over to the framed picture on his desk, the four of you at the beach. The sight of your smile and the girls’ amazed features enough to warm his heart and encourage him to push through with another busy day. 

#gentle #aot x reader #snk x reader #attack on titan x reader #attack on titans x reader #aot fluff #snk fluff #armin arlert x reader #armin arlert fluff #armin x reader #armin fluff

[miss-choco-chips]

F’coffee

-.-.-.-.-.-

Honestly. What did Bruce even think would happen? He should have known better.

Tim wasn’t Dick, indoctrinated from a young age to be a good, somewhat (when convenient) obedient son. Tim only went along with Bruce’s shit because, more often than not, it aligned with what he himself wanted. He also wasn’t Damian, so easily manipulable when one knew which buttons to push. And he certainly wasn’t Jason, who would sink his own ship to kill the captain.

So, when Tim and Bruce fought, and his adopted father decided to pull the ‘you live under my roof and work in my company, so I’m the boss all the way through’ card, well…

Yeah. Tim wasn’t going to take that lying down. He had a childhood of zero authority figures to obey and an overabundance of sass, plus a complete lack of fucks to give.

It was bound to go down like this.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

And, well. Tim had money. Like, an absurd amount of money. Even before being adopted by playboy billionaire Bruce Wayne, Tim had his own no small fortune stashed away, a couple of properties gathering dust, two trust funds and more antique cars that he knew what to do with. So he could just… burn through that money, or sell the cars, or make a living of renting the buildings he owned, and he would barely even scratch the surface of his deep wealth.

But it wasn’t about being able to live comfortably with minimum effort. Tim was trying to prove a point here. What point, fuck if he knew. But a point.

So here he was, on the other end of the wooden counter, a cute red cap falling over his eye as he looked dead into his friend’s eyes.

“Tim. Tim, you’re rich. Why are you working in a coffee shop?”

Seeing as Kon and Cassie were currently too busy being shocked, Tim shrugged and went back to cleaning the cup in his hands.

It was a plastic cup. It didn’t need cleaning, he could just toss it away. But it was his favorite plastic cup, and he was gonna save it as a family heirloom forever.

(The fact that the pretty customer from the morning shift had drawn cute little doodles all over it had nothing to do with it’s worth.)

“Teenage rebellion”, he finally said, carefully putting his treasure away.

“You are twenty.”

“Time is a social construct and I’m but a slinky falling down an endless flight of stairs.”

“That doesn’t make any sense.”

“Your face doesn’t make any sense. How is it so symmetrical? It defies nature.”

-.-.-.-.-.-

“What can I get for you?”

“I'll have a mocha caramel latte-chino, made with skim milk, no whipped cream.”

“Bart, no.”

“Please put that in a grande cup”

“I’m begging you, don’t do it.”

“But use the same amount of coffee that you'd put into a tall.”

“I’m warning you, you don’t want to do this.”

“That way there's about an inch of extra room on top.”

“I wish you had an extra inch so I could look straight into your eyes when I murder you.”

“To stir in my own nutmeg without spilling any coffee at all.”

“You’re dead to me. Also, I AM going to make you that drink and you WILL finish it or so help me God.”

“What do you want, Kon?”

“To not be here when Tim’s looking like he’s planning both our unsolved murders.”

-.-.-.-.-.-

When Kon entered the shop, the messenger bag slung over his shoulder bumping against his hip as he rushed in to get his caffeine intake before his evening classes, he wasn’t surprised at the scene.

Cassie being there was a given, since there was always at least one of them there at all times, supporting Tim in this ‘independence’ thing he was dead set on trying. Kon himself had his Tim Shift later that day, after his creative writing course. Bart had probably just left, considering the amount of empty cake platters littering the counter.

Tim being face down in said counter, uncaring about the mess, was also old news. The dude barely ever seemed to leave (Kon was almost completely sure he actually owned the place, since he’d never seen any sort of manager and Tim’s hours seemed to work around his weird sleep patterns all too perfectly), and distraught was his general state of being, so. Normal day as far as he could see.

Still, he had to ask. “What is it today?”

Cassie, eyes never leaving her magazine, chin resting in one hand as the other one scratched at Tim’s scalp, snorted.

“A cute boy started working in the tattoo place next door. He came in for a morning fix, when Tim was barely awake, and he said something stupid, so he’s been having an existencial crisis ever since.”

“I said ‘you too’, Kon. He said ‘thanks for the coffee, I’ll enjoy it!’ and I said ‘you too’. What is wrong with me?”

Kon snorts a little. Tim doesn’t seem to be very interested in doing his actual work, so he just jumps over the counter and starts working the machines himself.

“You know that’s a question you can only ask your therapist, Tim, but if you need to know, I’d say you’re highly sleep deprived and a dysfunctional bi?”

At that, Tim does turn to look at him. There’s some cake frosting clinging to his eyelashes, and his hair is a mess. It looks cute, to be completely honest, and Kon has to leave his unfinished latte on the side so he can hug the little shit.

“Aw, don’t pout, Timbo. I’m sure he thought you were cute. Just try to sleep a bit more tonight, so when he comes back tomorrow you’ll be a little more alert and won’t embarrass yourself.”

“What do you mean, when he comes back?”

“I mean, if he works next door, he’ll probably get his morning coffees here all the time, right?”

That seemed to drive Tim back into the distraught spiral. He smashed his head back into the counter, making dying whale noises until Cassie’s hand returned to his scalp.

Kon privately thinks Tim’s life is starting to sound like fanfiction. He wonders which type of background character he would be, in it.

-.-.-.-.-.-

The shop is called F’coffee. That’s why Cassie is convinced Tim is the actual owner; no one else would really think that’s a proper name for a serious establishment. Kon isn’t convinced all the way yet, but with Bart on her side and Tim staying silent on the subject, it is just a matter of time until she convinces him it’s totally okay for him to do his gym routine there. She thinks, with Tim being his own boss, no one would tell him to stop it, and it would help his friend’s business to bloom with new customers.

The place's general aesthetic is exactly what you would expect, with old wooden tables, comfy chairs, potted plants hanging from the walls and tall windows just a little bit stained. The smell is constantly of the strongest brew Tim has, Death Coffee (which he’s actually not legally allowed to sell, so he keeps it for himself), and just setting a foot in makes her feel instantly awake. It's also always warm, and the sweets on display look mouth watering no matter your personal preferences.

In short, it looks like something out of a movie. It’s a tad too perfect for her friend, but she thinks it also fits his obsessive need for perfection.

Except for the board. Oh, the board. Cassie loves it more than life itself.

Tim has divided the drinks in categories. And made up names for all of them.

“Yes, hello! I’d like to order a grande, iced, sugar-free vanilla Latte, with soy milk, but I can’t seem to find it in your menu…”

Tim’s dead eyes turn to Cassie for a second, before facing his customer again.

“You’re probably looking into the Normal People section”, he points out, before raising his hand to signal a bit to the left. “There you have the Pain In The Ass selection. There’s nothing just like you asked, but you have the It’s Britney Bitch beverage, which is almost exactly the same except I’ll add a middle finger drawing in the cup and charge you extra for emotional damages. Also, we’re out of soy milk.”

Or…

“Hey, good morning! I’d like to order…”

Tim raised a hand, stopping the chirpy, good looking young man dead in his tracks.

“Don’t tell me, I know what you need. I’ll just go ahead and prepare it.”

“But you don’t even know what I/”

“You’ll have a Cougar Bait. It has cacao cream, a strawberry pucker and some grenadine seeds. I think it's fitting, for you.”

And also…

“Hey, hum… Sorry, I just have to ask… what’s on the ‘Barista’s heart’ drink?”

“Cacao powder, almond milk and espresso. Also some organic coconut ash, that gives it the blacker-than-night color, that’s just a shade lighter than my soul.”

“...noted.”

Cassie snorts into her cup of Jack it up (coffee that tastes just like a Jack Daniel’s; having Tim working here has opened up her eyes to the possibilities), watching as Tim makes his own usual.

“What’s in that one?” She asks, out of curiosity, when she’s sure there’s no other customer close by.

“Six espresso shots.”

She waits for a second. Tim finishes the drink, carefully handling the dark liquid inside his favorite plastic cup.

“...okay, and?”

“And that 's it.”

“Tim, that-- that would kill you?”

“Duh. Why did you think it was called The Last Sip?”

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

#my writting #tim drake #kon el kent #cassie sandsmark #bart allen #core four #core disaster week #day 7 #coffee shop au #no powers au #civilian!tim #civilian!Kon #civilian!Cassie #civilian!Bart #Barista Tim Drake #Bi disaster Tim Drake #fluff #attempt at humor #can't say for sure if it worked lol #IM DONE WITH THIS CHALLENGE OKAY BYE

[euphoricethan]

Alpha’s Kingdom - G.D

Summary: Grayson and Y/n have been friends since high school; a little before that to be exact. They had a not-so-friendly altercation 8th grade graduation, but began a spark with polar opposite attitudes. A typical college party turns to the most surprising nights of their lives.

A/N: this is an old, old, old draft from the beginning of last year that i never finished but now it’s done & i hate it so enjoy! (also lmk if i need to add more tw warnings just in case)

Warnings: smut, mentions of abuse, language, underage drinking, public humiliation(?), violence (blood)

Word count: 5.6k

That evening, Y/n (typically) would be in her dorm blasting music so loud in her earbuds that her introverted, comic-loving roommate would yell at her to turn it down as she studied for a big test the next day.

But, instead, she was called to "haul her ass" over to the Alpha Kingdom —which was what Grayson and all his buddies called the frat— to help with their party they were having for the reason she didn't know.

Y/n was against it, but she had no other choice since she was close friends with Grayson and owed him a favor. (Not to mention that he couldn't hang up streamers to save his life.)

So there she was, resting one hand on his broad shoulder while she pressed the white streamer into the ceiling.

"Hold still." She said under her breath, while Gray was moving around a bunch in hopes his knee's wouldn't give out.

"I can't, my knees are about to give out Y/n," he was looking up at her, watching her shove the dainty piece of paper up into the ceiling.

"'s not my fault." Y/n licked her lips, concentrating hard.

Sooner or later, she came down from the wobbling ladder and took a few steps back to look at her work.

"Looks good kid." he awarded.

"Kid" was always Y/n's nickname; no matter who was older. She was always "kid" and he was "Blue".

Ever since last year or so, Grayson has grown into a huge Godzilla look-alike, and Y/n thought it was hilarious since the reason behind it was that he wanted to impress some girl he met the beginning of the school year and claimed she liked guys who were "bulky."

Then, Blue Whale was introduced. But Y/n got tired of adding the Whale, and Blue just kinda stuck.

"You should help me and Brandon grab the kegs from the back." Grayson folded up the ladder, and whether Y/n was following or not, he walked away to place it back where they got it.

"You know, you really are the impidamy of a typical college frat boy!" she called out.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Brandon, another frat member who was just as dumb as the rest of them, said.

The fact that they didn't even get the joke just claimed to prove her point to where she just shook her head and proceed to the backyard to help the two twin towers carry the one-hundred sixty-five pound keg into the house.

They were all soon lifting, Y/n rather struggling while the two other boys grabbed it with ease.

"God, where do you guys even get these?" she was generally curious, she hadn't seen an actual beer keg in person before. They've only been in movies...

"Brandon's friend's uncle who worked at the bar downtown."

"Worked?"

"He got fired when the manager started realizing that he was missing a bunch of kegs like every week." Grayson said this with ease as him and Brandon finally set the huge keg onto the kitchen floor.

"Kid, pass me that thing over there will you? It's over there." Grayson pointed with his head.

"Grayson, you can't just tell me to hand you something and point with your head and just assume I know exactly what you're talking about."

He was apparently fed up with her, as: he stood, reached behind her, and pulled the hose and nozzle with a sly smirk on his stupid face.

"If you guys need any help, I'll be on the couch." she told them both and exited the kitchen before they said anything; if they hadn't already decided she was no help to them.

Shortly after, Brandon was walking into the living room to sit next to Y/n and place both of his legs over her's.

She let out a small grunt, letting her phone slip from her grasp and leaned into his legs.

"Jesus." she went to retract her phone, but he had beat her to it and was holding it above his head trying to see what she was doing.

"Whatcha doin'?" he asked, flashing the screen on his face.

Y/n was now reaching over him, still just reaching for her phone. "Brandon, I swear to god." she muttered.

"Who's Bryson? Ooh yikes, he has a B name..." he gave Y/n a hard look with his eyebrows raised slightly.

"You have a B name." she shoved his legs off her and was now even more invested on getting her belonging back.

"Yeah but that doesn't count," he was now facing away from her, pulling the phone close to him and reading her most recent text word for word.

"Don't think i'll be able to make it tonight, big test tomorrow. Y/n, what is this!" he showed her own screen to her as if she didn't know what it said.

"Can I please just have my phone back? You're being a dick." she told him.

"Hey Grayson! Y/n's got a boyfriend!" he called out, causing him to walk into the room with his face slightly scrunched in confusion.

"Huh? What'd you say?" he ran his hand though his hair before placing both on his hips.

"Look." he said.

"I don't have a boyfriend, he's just my parter for a class, now can I please have my phone back?!" Y/n was reaching over him again but he had moved his hand.

Just then, Grayson grabbed a hold of his wrist and took it from him. "Dude, don't be a cunt."

"Here kid." his eyes flashed over to her, handing it over as their fingers came in contact with one another.

Grayson found his way back into the kitchen, letting out a heavy sigh as he walked away.

She had followed behind him, seeing his behavior shift and his shoulders drop.

"What's up?" she said, leaning over the counter and watched him rinse off the dishes.

"Blue? what's wrong with you?" she said now, furrowing her brows.

A small sigh left his nose while he just placed the dish in the rack.

Grayson had always been protective over Y/n—ever since they were 11 and some kid made a joke about she smelt like cigarettes because of her father.

He always stood up for her, always. Even though he knows she can defend herself he feels the tightness in his jaw and in his fists when someone mentions her in the conversation.

"Are you mad about something?"

He sighed again, moving from the dishes to the restocking of the fridge.

"Can you talk to me? Like I don't know why all this sudden you're having a pity party..." she cocked her head forward to try and get something out of him.

"It's nothing. It's fine."

"Well no, obviously something is bothering you. You can tell me. Like did I do something? Was it the phone thing? What?" Y/n slid her hand across the counter, standing up now and walking towards him.

"You shouldn't told me if you had a boyfriend." His eyes were harsh on her, leaving them to look at her until she turned her head.

"He's not my boyfriend..." her eyes were to the floor.

"Doesn't sound like it." he closed the fridge and started smashing the cardboard boxes the drinks came in.

"Blue, it's not like that, like at all. We're just parters, he wanted to work on our project tonight but now i'm here so..."

"Why don't you go, since you don't wanna be here." he smashed the final box hard against the counter, causing Y/n to flinch and blink quickly.

"I wanna be here! Damn Grayson why are you being like this holy fuck! Are you drunk already?" Y/n cheeks were getting warm and she gave Grayson side eye until she scoffed and turned on her heel.

She didn't know what he was thinking, getting mad about something like that and telling her to just go home?

She didn't know the reason behind why he said it either... because if she knew now she probably wouldn't hook up with him later that night.

-

It's 8th grade graduation. Ethan and Grayson are about to get called up to get their "diploma".

But as soon as the kids who were seated in front of them had to get up and wait to get called up left, Grayson was no where to be found.

Along with Y/n who was a few rows behind them.

Where were they? Good question.

Behind the Gymnasium drinking a Mike's Hard Lemonade Y/n had snuck from her dad before they left.

"Y/n, we're gonna get in so much trouble!" Grayson whisper-yelled, watching her lean over in her dress and press the top of the bottle on the jagged wall.

The top had popped off and she giggled before taking a gulp and holding out for him to hold.

"Shh! We'll only get in trouble if we get caught, now take this before I spill it on my dress. My dad will shit his pants if I ruin it."

Grayson took the bottle from her, awkwardly holding it in his hands.

"Take a sip, it's so good!" she told him, her smile wide and her eyes filled with adrenaline.

This was the first time he had seen Y/n in girl clothes and makeup. Her Aunt was in town for her graduation and helped her pick out a dress and did her makeup.

She complained about how the mascara felt weird on he eyelashes, but he thought she looked beautiful.

He'd be lying if he said he didn't always think Y/n was beautiful. She was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen in his whole life.

He trusted her with his whole heart too. Took everything she said serious and was so gullible it made Y/n laugh so hard she lost her breath.

He loved her laugh too. Making her laugh was his favorite thing he could do, it was like a super power to him.

Which is why when she caught him staring at her in her puffy dress and little platform heels, his cheeks turned bright red and he couldn't stop himself from putting his lips on hers in a quick peck.

He tasted the Mike's Hard Lemonade on her lips, and she was right... it was good.

So good that the peck lasted longer and longer until Y/n placed her hands against his fiery cheeks he let his hands go numb and the bottle shattered onto the concrete.

She pulled away, quickly opening up her eyes to see how dilated his were.

But then, almost at the same time, both of them turned their heads around the corner to see one of the teachers coming to inspect.

Grayson took her by the wrist and they sprinted around the corner until it was safe to quickly walk back to the ceremony as he was called up on stage.

And there he was, walking across the stage in front of almost a thousand kids and parents with the biggest boner ever as Y/n sat in the crowd, her cheeks red and holding the bottle cap in her palm.

-

They never talked about it after that.

And that summer, going onto freshman year, Y/n had gotten her first boyfriend... who wasn't Grayson.

His name was Tony, and he was a Sophomore.

Grayson was supportive of their relationship of course, but his little heart broke almost every time he saw them together or every time Y/n brought him up.

After September, he had finally broken up with her because she wouldn't give herself to him. She was heartbroken.

But again, Grayson was there for her. Always.

She never knew why he cared so much, because unlike her father, he didn't give up on her— he didn't tell her how much he loved her and then disappeared to get drunk for days at a time.

She really only had Grayson if were being honest here. Her mother moved out of state when she was little, and shortly after that they moved and she met him.

She knew there was always something there. She just didn't know what was stopping her from doing something about it.

Until tonight.

"I'm gonna go take a shower." Grayson said walking past Brandon to quickly walk up the stairs two at a time.

By now, Y/n was now back at her dorm with a million thoughts cursing her brain.

"What's up with you?" her roommate asked, sitting at her desk while finishing up a project for her class.

"I hate men." Y/n said.

"Same. I'm just saying, girls are so much more fun."

Y/n collapsed on her bed, curling up in her jeans and t-shirt as she spoke her thought out loud.

"Should I go?" she asked to no one in particular.

"Go where?" her roommate asked.

"Graysons having this party tonight at the Alpha Kingdom or whatever and I think I kinda wanna go." she was now sitting up in her bed, watching as she turned around.

"You should go. Why not?"

"Well he had a fucking hissy fit earlier because his roommate or whatever took my phone and that Bryson guy kept texting me and— whatever. He's just being overprotective for no reason & told me to go home."

"But I low-key wanna piss him off s'more."

"You should. You can wear that like skirt thing you got and be all slutty. Plus I met this girl yesterday at the coffee place by the L campus and I think we're gonna..." she gave Y/n a raised eyebrow glare and pointed with her head towards her bed.

"Well first of all, I'm not gonna dress slutty; that's like asking for it. Second of all, T.M.I."

Her roommate scoffed. "It is not asking for it, it's called having confidence and if they take it too far that's on them. I say you wear it."

So that's what Y/n did. She put on that dress she had just bought with the red little cherries printed all over, slid her shoes on after brushing out her hair & sprayed her favorite perfume.

"See, told you." she told her once Y/n had grabbed her phone off her bed and jumped down.

"Yeah see and I even put on those pair of thongs I got too. Look!" Y/n lifted her dress slightly, showing off the dainty piece of material.

She gave her wide eyes before saying, "Don't get pregnant now." as Y/n opened the door.

"Same for you."

-

When Y/n arrived at the "Alpha Kingdom" she was greeted by the heavy smell of beer and blaring music from outside the front door.

As she entered, she made her way to the kitchen where her and Grayson's altercation took place to grab a red solo cup and fill it with punch.

Just before placing the ladle back into the bowl though, someone was grabbing her arm and dragging her with her cup to a secluded area away from everyone else.

She met his eyes with confusion laced in them.

"Ethan, what the fuck man! You made me spill my drink everywhere!" she told him, looking down at her arm as the red colored drink slightly stained her skin.

"Shh!" he told her, gently placing a hand over her mouth before she stuck her tongue out to retract his fingers.

"What do you want." she was shaking the drink off her while putting the cup in her opposite hand.

"Does Grayson know you're here?"

Her brows were furrowed, and she gave him a look that simply answered his question.

"Why-"

"Just come with me." his hand was gently wrapped around her wrist, now taking her out back where at least a hundred people were scattered about.

"What are you doing? And let go of my hand!" she pulled her wrist away from him harshly and placed both of her hands around her cup.

"Fuck! Where'd he go?! Fuck." Ethan muttered to himself.

"E, what's going on?" now Y/n had a worried pitch in her voice, watching Ethan's eyes as he scanned over the back yard desperately looking for his twin brother.

"This guy. He wants to fuck Grayson up or something." he was running his hands though his hair, looking a frantic mess and acting like he was having a bad trip.

"Are you high?" she asked, quickly watching him snap at her.

"No Y/n I'm not fucking high! I don't want someone to beat the living shit out of Grayson, okay?"

"Have you seen him? He's huge. Plus, why would anyone wanna beat-"

"Because of you okay! Some shit went around that you were with this guy and you cancelled to come hook up with Gray. Now he's pressed and is probably gonna kill us both."

"Wait— who? Who said that? Ethan?"

His head along with almost a hundred others spun around when a loud "Dolan!" was called out from the deck above us.

"Fuck me." he said under his breath.

Bryson made his way down, taking the steps two at a time and skipping the last three to land hard on the grass with his heavy work boots.

"Hey Y/n." he spoke, vial in his tone and liquor on his breath.

Y/n and Ethan stood there both in shock. For two different reasons. Ethan was shitting himself, thinking this was how he was gonna die because he hates conflict; and Y/n thought back to the last three hours catching up to her wondering why she came over in the first place.

"So, this the guy you came to fuck tonight? Because it's certainly not me." a chuckle escaped his lips as he took a few steps closer and now having everyone's attention.

"Look man, we don't wanna start anything. I'm sure whatever's going on can be resolved peacefully, alright?"

Bryson took one look at Ethan before retracting his eyes back to her.

The crowd was starting to form around them and soon peoples phones were pulled out filming every second.

"What do you want, Bryson." It wasn't a question, but a statement.

"I just came for the show. You know."

Y/n scoffed at him, brushing the hair away from her face.

He took a deep breath in, now interacting with the crowd that was formed and made eye contact with a few people.

"Y/n can be kind of a slut—" the ooh's and small gasps got him willed up, so he continued. "Don't get me wrong, girls who dress slutty and act it in the bedroom is hot... but when you go to a study session and she begs to suck your dick in the library; see, that's I guess that's just the price you pay when you go to school with the Y/n Y/l/n."

"Dude—" Ethan tried stepping in now, getting in front of Y/n and looking Bryson dead in the eyes. "Don't be a fucking dick."

"Don't act like I'm wrong. Well all know she's a slut! Just look at her!"

Everyone's eyes were shifted upward, looking past Bryson to see Grayson standing by himself in a white plane T-shirt with a green olive jacket on top some jeans.

His tall shadow was standing behind Bryson, causing him to turn around and now face him but he couldn't even get a single word out before Grayson took his balled up fist and forced it against his jaw.

In seconds he and Grayson both were on the floor while Bryson took multiple punches to his face as Y/n's screams for him to stop muffled out.

How dare he say something like that about Y/n? How could he say that to her when she's such an angel? Did she really do that in the library?

The questions were sprinting around in Grayson's head as he took punch after punch to Bryson before the ringing in his ears faded away.

"Grayson! Stop, please!" Y/n's desperate scratchy screams were loud enough to where he looked up at her only for him to be pressed up against the grass.

Bryson was punching Grayson now, and with all his 175 pounds on him, Ethan and some random guy was holding him up and had his arms behind his back.

Grayson stood— only with a bloody nose, split lip, some some small bruising around his eye and both of their blood on his knuckles.

He spit blood out onto the grass, looking around into the crowd —including Y/n— and walked inside while shaking his hands as if they were wet.

Back in the kitchen, Grayson had placed the frozen carrots on his hand and let his head fall between his shoulders over the sink.

He felt her presence approaching, the familiar smell she carried around with her everywhere. "What the fuck was that about Grayson!" she screamed, stomping in the room with her eyes staring at him hard.

"Nothing Kid." his jaw was clenching. He was about to explode again.

"Nothing?! That was nothing!" she was already gone. God, why did she even come in the first place?

"I told you to go home." his eyes were digging into her and he placed his finger to his lip to wipe the blood away before he disappeared up the stairs.

Y/n was about to be death of him.

"You can't just ignore me!" Y/n said while banging on Graysons bedroom door after repeatedly trying to turn the nob.

Inside the four walls Grayson had trapped himself in, he was alone with his thoughts and Y/n desperate to come in and give him company.

Then there were four knocks on his door. The same four knocks they did when they wanted to apologize to one another in 8th grade but we're too ashamed to say the words aloud.

It was their only promise they held to this day. Which is one of the only reasons Grayson sighed heavily and opened up the door for her.

He closed the door behind her, now both of them standing in awkward silence.

Y/n's eyes were glued to her feet while Graysons were softly looking at her in all her glory.

As mad as he was, and the fact that he was breathing hard from his nose to subside how much he wanted to finish Bryson off, when his eyes fell on Y/n he was in awe.

He hadn't noticed how nice she was dressed until now. With a soft white dress, curled hair, and her favorite sneakers that didn't quite match. It made him chuckle.

Her eyes were on him. "What?" she asked, placing her arms across her chest.

"Nothing."

"No, what. Now you have to tell me."

Grayson shook his head in disapproval.

"C'mon Blue, I tell you everything!"

Her words stung him like a bee, because she could see his jaw tense up again and walk away from her.

"Just like when you told me you didn't have a boyfriend?"

"So this is what that was about? Because he is and never will be my boyfriend— or anything remotely like that, ever."

"But you still sucked his dick in the library? See, Y/n I don't understand you sometimes. You can be the nicest girl i've known since we were 13, or the complete opposite."

He was inching closer to her now, his vile words building up to protect himself from slipping his biggest secret.

"Why are you being such a dick! So what if I did?! It's none of you're business anyway. You're so protective Grayson... so manipulative and controlling. You spend all you're time worried about me you can take one second to see what you've done. For fucks sake you just beat the living hell out of some kid in your backyard!"

"He was harassing you!"

"He was drunk. And so are you? How much have you had to drink? Huh?!"

"This isn't about me— it's about the fact that—"

"It's about me! Always my fault, isn't it?! It was my fault I got us in trouble in middle and high school, my fault I caused you to almost lose you're scholarship... is it my fault my dad was a drunk and used to beat me?!" she shoved his chest, causing him to stumble backward a little.

"I never said that." he sighed.

"No but you've thought about it. C'mon admit it! You've once thought about how I could have ruined you're big dreams. And now you wouldn't be here now right?" another shove to his chest.

And that's when Grayson is pressing Y/n against his bedroom door, his hands surround her cheeks and her arms fall to her sides only to be gently placed against his torso seconds later.

They were so close. So close just like the time they kissed in the back of the Gymnasium when they were younger. Her lips were the same to him, still holding onto that Mike's Hard Lemonade, but this time it was more fruity due to the punch Y/n had drank.

But to Y/n it was different. It was so different.

She was taken back almost six years to when she took that lemonade from her Dad's outside fridge and got so much shit later that because he found the bottle cap on her dresser.

She never regretted it though. She felt alive, being rebellious, being secretive and her adrenaline pumping through her veins. She haven't felt the same since... until now.

Grayson opened his eyes, slowly pulling apart and watching her eyes flutter open to look up at him.

"Gray..." he was scared of what she might say next.

"You're drunk." her voice was soft, but it still cut into him like butter and he pulled his hands away from her and took a step back to sit on his bed.

"I'm drunk? That's all I am Kid! Because last time I checked I was in love with you." his mouth formed the sentence and spit it out before he even had a chance to think it over in his head.

"Grayson..." Y/n was still against the door, too afraid if she moved he'd have her back where she was.

"Do you realize how long I've liked you for?! Go on ahead I wanna hear what you have to say." the tone in his voice was something she had never heard before.

"I-"

"The first day I met you Y/n! The second I laid my eyes on you I- I- I had this feeling in my stomach- butterflies. That never happens. Ever. And you know what else?"

She stood there with her arms pinned to her side waiting for him to speak again.

"You'd always flirt with me, all the time. Do you remember that? Remember all those times in the library when you'd drag me down an empty hall and hold my hand until class was over? Or after school when we went to the park and you convinced me to write on the playground? I even wrote our initials under the slide!" he took a deep breath in before he stood up and started pacing the room.

"Oh yeah! And the endless times we would skip class to hid in the locker room and take people's locks and switch them around! You did that shit to me all the time Y/n! And I let it happen..."

"It's not like that," her voice was just a whimper compared to his.

"It's not like that?! What is it like then? You fucking led me on all the time for years and I still stuck around because you're Dad was a drunk and I was the only friend you had and I liked you so much it wouldn't even matter if I wanted to leave!"

"And when you kissed me, behind the Gym at our graduation, I went home and looked at rings because I was so delusional that I thought I'd marry you." Grayson's hands came up to ruffle through his hair, and the tears had started to form in his eyes before he could do anything about it.

"Will you please just listen me to me!" she had raised her voice now, her hands talking with her while her eyes locked with his.

"I like you Blue. I just- it's complicated."

"Right. Because you don't like me like that. Right?"

Y/n sighed. Both of them were too fucked up to be having this conversation right now. "No, because I'm fucking scared! Okay?! You're the only man in my life who hasn't treated me like absolute shit and- and what happens if we do this? Then what? I lose you too? Jesus Grayson do you ever think about anything through before you just go on a rampage?"

"Y/n, just shut up." and that's when Grayson's hands were pressed hard against her cheeks, pulling her close enough to feel him through his jeans.

Y/n still didn't know how it had happened, how they had gone from fighting to her being pressed up against his twin-sized bed in his room with him between her legs.

He hovered over her with his hands on either sides of her face while they locked the eye contact with silent consent.

Grayson's hands found Y/n's waist and slide down slowly until both of his hands were holding her legs open.

"Lift your dress Kid." he said, and she could feel his breath against her clothed clit while doing as he said quickly.

His hands rubbed slowly on her smooth thighs while he watched her do as he said before he pulled the dainty, thin piece of fabric Y/n was wearing to the side.

While doing so, Y/n's breathing caught in her throat to the touch of his rather large fingers grazing against her.

She was nervous, but the adrenaline she craved took over and followed every order that was asked of her.

There was another moment of consent, and that small nod was all Grayson needed as his tongue came in contact with Y/n's wet core.

He started off slow, trying to see how long it would take before she was begging for more, asking him: "Please, Blue... please."

The thought of it made him groan as he felt himself grow in his jeans that caused them to fit a bit more tight.

"Oh," Y/n moaned as Grayson made eye contact with her, just to pick up his pace.

He could hear the light taps on his comforter, and so he took it as another sign until she was slightly arching her back due to his work between her sweet folds.

He didn't realize he was burying himself in her until he loosened his grip on her thighs and stopped quickly to get a breath of air.

But Y/n's breathing was a bit harder now, and she croaked out a small "Gray," to beg him to continue.

But that's not what he wanted to hear. Blue.

His right hand let go of her leg, only to reach down and lightly trace along her silky folds to her pearl. "Hm?"

Y/n reached forward a bit at the sudden touch, and he found two of his fingers slowly dancing around her small numb that made her beg.

"Ple... please," she breathed out feeling him between her with a playful look on his face just knowing he'd get her to say it.

"Pleaseeee, what?" he mocked, opening his fingers just slightly to find her small, tight opening.

Grayson's mouth was just near an inch away from her core as he blew cold air into it making Y/n squirm just to have him grip onto her thigh.

"Gray," Y/n had a hard time finishing her train of thought before he had taken the two fingers and slid them into her wetness as they disappeared in her.

She gasped now, gripping onto his bed sheets and pulling her brows together to help keep the moan in.

She could fight it for as long as she could, but if he kept doing this to her, the whole neighborhood would know what they were up to.

Once again Grayson sped up, now moving his fingers in and out of Y/n while also swirling his tongue around her numb before kind of kissing sloppily and mixing the fluids around slightly.

"Fuck," she said, trying for reach for him as he moved her hand away.

"Say it Kid, go on." Grayson continued while he waited, listening to the sound of fingering his best friend.

And there were the magic words. "Blue, please... shit,"

This time Y/n successfully reached up for him, grabbing onto his brown locks and pulling him close to her core and using both hands to hold her still.

Grayson's mouth was open against her, and when he heard her screech as he felt her legs start to shake, he knew he was doing something right.

This continued, and he loved the sounds that he made her make, and he was nearly coming to his breaking point when he heard one last moan and felt the warmth on his chin.

He took a small collection of Y/n with his tongue and pulled her even loser while she whined and breathed heavy, her grip on his hair still strong.

Once she finally let go of Gray, and before he could even say a word to her, she said: "Fuck me Grayson."

#eeswork #grayson dolan #ethan dolan #grayson #dolan twins #grayson dolan imagine #gray

[jawritter]

Request: May I request a Dean Winchester x plus size reader where the reader is very shy and she at a bar and some dirt bags are picking on her about her shortness and weight and dean stands up for her? Some smut and fluff ?? Also want to say you are a bop of a writer my love! ✨💕🥰❤️

Word Count: 2961

Warnings: Some angst I guess, language, hint of insecure reader, mean drunks at bar, SMUT, unprotected smut, oral (female receiving), I think that’s about it...

A/N: As always all mistakes are mine! Please do not copy my work! Feedback is golden! Hope you all enjoy this one!!

Want more? Check out my masterlist!!

**MASTERLIST**

You had no idea why you agreed to come out again with Dean and Sam tonight.

It was always the same.... 

Dean would find him a little whore to spend his night with, and Sam would either find himself something to blow off some steam with, or sit at his laptop looking for another case to keep them busy with, because you all seemed addicted to the hunt as much as the next guy, and you were all at your best when you were killing things that shouldn't be allowed to exist. And you would sit alone at the bar, miserable, and avoiding other human contact as much  as possible.

It's what you expected anyway.

So when Dean threw baby into park you were out of the car, and heading into the bar without so much as looking at the brothers. Heading straight for the bar to order the strongest whatever they had. 

If you had to go home alone tonight, you'd at least get drunk enough to sleep without the nightmares.

To your surprise though Dean came, and slipped onto the barstool next to you, ordering a shot and a beer for the both of you before you could even get the bartender's attention. You looked at him strangely, and he caught it before you could even fix your face.

"What?" He asked you, as he threw back the shot the bartender slipped to him. Green eyes dancing with mischief as he looked at you.

"You're not going to start looking for tonight's lucky lady?" You asked him, and he chuckled a little next to you. 

"Na, not tonight." He said, brushing off your concern as he pulled his beer bottle to his perfect lips, and took a long deep drink.

"Think I'd rather hang out with you." He said, giving you a wink that, even though you'd never admit to anyone, made your knees weak. 

Dean had always had a soft spot in your heart, but you were too shy to ever admit to him that you had a crush on him, and plus he was way out of your league.

He was tall, strong, and gorgeous.

You were overweight, with more than a few extra pounds in places that made you feel self conscious on your best day, and to top it off you were short. Barely breaking 4'9. 

Sam often teased you that you still legally should be riding in a car seat. 

Dean never really teased you all that much about your height or your weight, sure he still teased you, but he had enough common sense to know what seemed to get under your skin, and he respectfully avoided any topic that made you uncomfortable.

Dean had just ordered the drinks when two guys came up, and sat down on the oposite side of you, The large, stupid, and obviously drunk one that smelled strongly of whiskey leered at you like your very presents disgusted him to his utter core. 

"Hey Roy?" The large smelly guy that honestly looked like his name could have been Lurch said to the much smaller guy that was just as drunk, maybe more so than he was sitting beside him. "When the fuck did they start letting whales into the bar? This one looks like she should be in a display take at the aquarium. Better call PETA and tell them they're missing their prized whale!" Lurch slurred, and Roy burst into a fit of laughter. 

You tried to make yourself as small as you could on your stool, trying to not even look at these two dirt bags that seemed to be sent by Crowley himself to torment you, Dean hadn't heard them because the music was so loud, and he was busy paying for your drinks, but when he turned he noticed the red sheen of your checks and furrowed his eyebrows at you questioningly. 

"What's wrong Y/N/N?" He asks, handing you a beer, and turning to face you fully.

He didn't have long to be confused, because before you could even answer Lurch spoke up again.

"Oh don't tell me you're trying to get with him Shammo, he's way out of your league!" Roy fell into another fit of laughter, and you looked down at your beer bottle, a tear slipping past your defenses in spite of yourself. 

Dean said nothing just got up from his bar stool and went over to stand in front of Lurch, a look of pure murder on his face, one that reminded you of his Demon days when Sam had dragged him back into the bunker and cured him.

"What's wrong pretty boy?" Lurch said, and that was all it took. Dean swung, landing a hit right to his jaw, knocking him cold off of the bar stool. 

Roy took off running towards the exit as fast as he could. Leaving his fat, smelly friend on the ground in front of Dean. 

Dean turned around to you, cupping your face in his hands, and looking you over. "You okay sweetheart?" He asks you, genuinely concerned. 

You were humiliated, embarrassed, and you could literally feel the whole bar staring at the three of you, seeing as Sam joined Dean on his left side, taking a look at Lurch still laying on the ground groaning.

"I'm fine Dean." You said, trying to pull away from him, but he wouldn't let you, instead he laced your hand in his, gave Lurch there another kick with his steel toe boot clad foot, started toward the exit with you in tow,  Sam said nothing, just followed along like this was nothing, but a normal Saturday night for Dean.

Dean opened the back seat door for you, and you climbed in. Grateful to be away from those two idiots, and that grimmy ass bar that seemed to be full of douchebags, Sam got in along with Dean, and the three of you made a short, but silent drive back to the bunker. 

You felt horrible. You felt bad that you were the reason Dean caused a scene at the bar, you felt bad that Sam and Dean didn't get to blow off steam like they had wanted to after a long hunt, and you felt bad that once again, you didn't seem to measure up enough. 

Lurch wasn't wrong. You have always been a little overweight, shy, and you are definitely short. That was just stating the obvious. Even though it did bother you, what bothered you even more than that was he was right about one thing for sure. Dean was out of your league, and even an idiot like that could tell it.

You did everything you could not to burst into tears in the back seat of the car, and ignoring the pair of green eyes that were shifting constantly from the road to the back seat, and when mercifully Dean pulled up into the Bunker's garage, you were out of the car before he could even put it in park and heading towards your room. 

You couldn't face Dean, and you didn't feel like an awkward 'chin up' talk from Sam that he would try to do. You just wanted to go to your room and cry.

Alone....

Which is apparently all you would ever be...

Alone....

You weren't in your room long before a light knock sounded through the mostly quiet room.

"Sweetheart? Can I come in?" Dean said softly. When you didn't answer him, and just continued to stare at the wall he let himself in, closing your door behind him. Slipping on the bed behind you, the bed dipping under his weight slightly.

You thought if you just ignored him he'd go away, but Dean was persistent, and your silence only made him more persistent. So he slipped under the covers behind you, and like he had every right to be there, slipping his arm around you, pulling your back to his strong chest. 

"Don't worry about what those dicks said y/n/n. Those drunk ass wipes wouldn't know what a real woman was if one walked up, and slapped them in the face." Dean said, running his fingers through your hair. 

Dean had never been this close to you before. Usually he would just knock at your door and tell you that dinner was ready, or that they had another case. Every once in a while he would ask you come watch a movie in the Dean cave with him, but never had he been this....intimate... with you, and it had your heart fluttering in your chest in spite of the tears that you were trying to wipe away from your face before Dean could see them.

"It's okay Dean," You said, ignoring the way you hated your voice after you'd been crying. "It's not like I'm not used to it. Men do that shit to me all the time, always have, that's why I don't go out with you guys very often, and it's not like what he said wasn't true." 

Dean huffed in frustration, wrapping his arm around you tighter, and then flipping you over quickly to face him as if you weighed nothing at all. Surprising you for a moment. His piercing green eyes stared into yours. Softer than you had ever seen them. Those little lines that you loved so much showing more today than they usually did.

"Baby girl NOTHING those dicks said at that bar was true, Sam told me he heard what they said to you, and was making his way over there when I turned around and noticed them. Your are not fat, you don't belong in an aquarium, those idiots were just pissed because they thought that you were with me, and some people are just so fucking misserable with their own lives that they try and do everything that they can in order to make everyone else as misserable as they are."

Dean brushed your check with his thumb. Wiping away stray tears that were still falling down your face.

"Your beautiful, your smart, you funny, you put up with our shit like no one else has even been able to before, you are not fat, your perfect, your a woman, your curves make you even more beautiful, just because your short doesn't mean shit. You could still kick my ass if you wanted to, and I've seen you take out freaks twice your size." Leaning down before you could say anything else Dean brushed his lips softly over yours, before capturing your lips in his, his mouth dominating yours quickly, his tongue sliding through your lips and gliding over your tongue in a slow but building give and take that had your toes curling. His strong arms wrapped around you, holding you tight against him, rolling you over as if it were nothing, hovering on top of you.  Breaking the kiss and leaving you breathless.

"Dean.."

"Shush." He said, putting a finger to your lips. Let me show you just how fucking gorgeous you are to me.

You sat there in wide eyed in disbelief at the man smirking above you as he sat up just long enough to rid himself of his top layers of clothing, then quickly coming back down to hover over you. Placing chaste kissing to your lips and all over your face. Making you giggle and blush all at the same time.

Dean's lips found yours in a deep, needy, passionate kiss, as his hands explored your body, riding you of your clothing as he went. Only breaking the kiss long enough to pull your shirt from your body, and throw it on the floor with all the rest of your clothes. Leaving you in just your bra, which he made quick work of getting rid of. 

Every little touch, every little trail his fingers made over your skin seemed to wake up something deep inside of you that you had never experienced before. A need, a burning fire, one that started as a smolder, but was quickly bringing to burn out of control.

The way his tongue danced with yours, the way his hands lingered on your thighs longer than most men you had been with ever did. The way he worshiped your body, trailing kisses over your stomach and between the valley of your beast. Teasing you as before finally coming up to take your nipples into his mouth, giving each the same attention until you were arching your back to get close to him. His hands never left your body.

All the insecurities, and the mean words you had heard all your life seemed to finally be melting away. Dean treated you like you were some precious treasure to him. He never said anything about your thighs being too thick, or your stomach not being flat and perfect.

His green eyes were hooded and dark with lust like you were the most beautiful thing he'd ever laid eyes on.

Sliding down your body, never making eye contact with you, throwing your legs over his broad shoulders he all but growled at your glistening folds exposed to him. 

"So fucking perfect baby." He said, his voice deep and thick, making a deep shutter run down your spin before he ran his tongue through your slick folds. A deep moan fell from your lips as he growled deep in his throat. 

"Fuck sweetheart." He said, before devowering your sex like a starving man having his last mean, and God did the man know what the fuck he was doing. Most men didn't bother to go down on you, they were only worried about getting themselves off and leaving, Dean though, Dean seemed intent on making you cum before he even got started.

Your legs trembling at every lick and suck of his sinful mouth hand you all but panting above him. That familiar burn building in your abdomen. The coil threatened to snap, and when he added two thick fingers into you and curled them, hitting that spot most men never found perfectly, that was it. You fell apart around him. Your walls clinch down on his fingers. 

Dean slowed his administrations, but didn't stop. Working you through your release and lapping up everything you had to give him.

When  Dean finally crawled up your body and hovered over you, his thick leaking erection lay heavy against your inner thigh as he rutted himself against you, desperately needing some sort of friction.

"You okay baby girl." He asked, and you nodded before he began peppering your face with little kisses before his lips found yours again. When he was sure you were ready and your hands started to explore his large shoulders and back he made himself ready at your dripping entrance.  Sliding himself in slowly. Stretching you and filling with inch by glorious inch. When he was finally fully seated inside your tight heat he burned his head in your shoulder, kissing your neck and nibbling on your skin there, making your walls clench around him and he hadn't even started moving yet. 

A deep moan falling from his lips as your walls fluttered around him. He stayed still until you rolled your hips against him. Letting him know  you were ready for him to move. 

Pulling himself almost all the way out of you before sliding back in. Setting a deep steady rhythm. His tip hitting that same spot deep inside of you over and over again, and the drag of his manhood over your silk walls had both of you barrelling towards your end before you knew what was happening. Every time he was fully seated inside you a deep moan would fall from his lips. Sweat shining on skin in the dim light of your room as you held onto his shoulders, his body rocking into yours at the same slow, but deep pace. 

You could feel that familiar coil tightening again, and your walls were already fluttering around him. Dean seemed to be just as close as you, his hips beginning to stutter and his pace getting faster and more erratic.

His lips found yours again as he stilled deep inside of you, his warm seed coating your walls, throwing you over the edge with him, your walls clamping down around him as he swallowed your moans, slowly rocking his hips into yours, helping you both ride out your orgasms as long as possible until he finally stopped. Rolling off of you carefully,  and pulling you into his chest. His breaths still came in short bursts as his lips found the top of your forehead.

"You have no idea how long I wanted to do that." He said, his voice quiet and ragged from your previous activities.

You buried your face in his neck, not knowing what to say until he lifted your chin with his fingers again.

"Now I don't want my girl to ever get upset over what some dick bag says at a bar because he's never had a real woman in his life and doesn't get to see what I see. Your beautiful Y/N/N, and now your mine, there's not getting rid of me. I'm going to spend the rest of our lives, no matter how short they may be, showing you everyday just how gorgeous you really are." 

His lips found yours again in a kiss that made your toes curl, and his arms tightened their hold around you. 

You were his, something you never thought you would be, but yet here you were, safe and warm in his strong arms. 'His girl' as he kept calling you, telling you over and over again how beautiful you were, until you maybe, just maybe started to believe him yourself.....

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Tag List: @screechingartisancashbailiff​ @thecreatiivecorner​  @aflamboyanceofgays @deanwanddamons​​ @imabitch4jensen​​ @rvgrsbrns​​ @bi-danvers0​​ @onethirstyunicorn​​ @i-love-superhero​​ @akshi8278​ @alanegaming @magssteenkamp​ @lemondropirwin​ @squirrelnotsam​ @hobby27​ @spnbaby-67​ @mrsjenniferwinchester​ @defenderrosetyler​ 

#dean winchester fanfiction #dean winchester fanfic #dean winchester #dean winchester drabble #dean winchester one shot #dean winchester x reader smut #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester x you #dean x reader #dean x you #dean winchester smut #smut #spn smut #spn fanfiction #spn fanfic #x reader inserts #dean x plus sized reader #pluse sized!reader #jensen ackles #jawritter

[csykora]

Ooh, ooh. Please tell me all about TJ and how he turned the Caps into a buttsmack-loving, hansy, "babe"-ing team.

Ah, you are asking the NHL’s eternal question:

“Wait, why did the big men just highstick each other in the nuts?”

Ball torture is a big part of a game that’s supposedly played with a puck. 

We can thank the tireless work of the league’s spanking expert, Timothy Lief Oshie (Keeway Gaaboo in Anishinaabemowin, or “TJ”, after a character in 1979’s The Champ, a sports movie that the New York Times once described as “unholy” and “these movies don't mean to deal with the world as it really is, but as it should be, a place where there's no pile-up of emotional garbage too big that it can't be washed clean by a good cry. My problem with 'The Champ' is that I didn't cry. The garbage accumulated."

Clips of the character TJ crying have been found to be “one of the most depressing movies” you can show somebody, and are used in psychological studies. His mom thought Oshie looked like child actor Ricky Schroder, though.)

He is best known as Osh-Babe, like a Pokemon, for the sound he makes.

TJ was born in Everett, Washington, but moved to his father’s hometown of Warroad, Minnesota when he was fifteen to train with his father (Coach Osh) and cousin (Olympian and Red Wings star Henry Boucha).

I have a duty to show hockey tumblr pictures of Coach Henry and Coach Henry’s mustache every year.

He is also cousins with Gary Sargent of the Minnesota North Stars and great-nephew of local legend Max Oshie, because Warroad is a town of 1,700 people who are all cousins and also all Olympians.

For new hockey fans: Warroad is called “Hockeytown USA” because the US men’s team has never won gold without a player from Warroad on the roster. The reason for this is that the town has three rinks (two indoor, one outdoor) and ice time is free. Apparently the only barrier is that sometimes people forget who has the town key to the rink and they have to jimmy the door. 

Little TJ went from having to drive across the Washington/Canada border and paying $20 dollars per hour to skating every day of the year. The first thing Coach Henry did when TJ arrived was make him scrimmage against his local star player. They got so frustrated at not being able to beat each other that they sat down on the ice and burst into tears. The other player is now US Olympic, Boston Pride, and PWHPA star Gigi Marvin.  

Anyway, TJ played college hockey, then for the Blues and for Team USA in the 2014 Sochi Olympics, where he became famous for being a statistical freak and loving his teammates very, very much.

Here he is haring off the ice and all the way down the hall to crush Vladimir Tarasenko after his first career hat trick. After crushing Tarasenko’s Team Russia in 2014, TJ stopped to comfort him.

I don’t have video of TJ’s involvement with Vladimir’s butt, but there were at least a few proto-smacks.

Anyway, that summer TJ was traded away to the Washington Capitals, and the spankings started.

Several people deserve credit for the Washington Capital’s complete lack of personal space before TJ arrived. The first, of course, are Alexander Ovechkin and Alexander Semin, who shared everything from their name through their bubblegum, clothes, and chairs.

The next is Nate Schmidt, who at the time was d-partnered with John Carlson. John Carlson once hugged Nate Schmidt so hard it felt “like getting hit by a linebacker” and “I really felt I was going to eat popcorn with the people in the third row….It was awesome.” Nate Schmidt decided to express his love by composing a Carly Dance, which he would perform for Carlson before every game.

Then backup goaltender Philipp Grubauer told Schmidt he worried Nate was making the Caps’ other senior defenseman, Matt Niskanen, feel less cherished. Together they created a Matty Duet, which they performed at Niskanen while, I assume, the rest of the team had to hold him down.

There was also Tom Wilson, who also hits people very hard. After his first season Alexander Ovechkin was so impressed with Wilson that he nicknamed him “Destroyer”. Tom Wilson I guess blushed and said “No, you!” because started calling Ovechkin “Destroyer” right back. It’s since been shortened to “D”, so if you’re listening to pregame or bench chatter and hear someone yelling that it means either of them.

Since his arrival, TJ has adopted and escalated Schmidt’s pregame dances into elaborate dance-handshakes.

First, and this isn’t directly relevant but it kind of is, TJ is a really big fan of electrotherapy and brought it with him from St. Louis. So before games he and John Carlson like to go into a dark training room and stick electrodes on each other. TJ especially likes putting them on his face. 

(via the Washington Post)

(He uses an Accelerated Recovery Performance machine, or ARP, which is just a TENS unit you can get at CVS. I quite like TENS for pain and it can be very relaxing, so I think it does help him in that sense, but the company selling it as ARP for training purposes is some vintage 19th century snake oil. At one point TJ also stuck electrodes on long-suffering family dog Jay Beagle, who was gracious to his face but concluded, “I just don’t know if it actually works. I don’t like doing things that don’t help, you know what I mean?”)

Emerging from his electric dungeon, TJ has a unique dance-handshake with every member of the team. Each one is based on a joke or something he’s noticed about them, and they are expected to perform it with him in order before every game.

After that, they break out into secondary traditions as TJ supervises: Wilson and Ovechkin bodyslam and scream “D!” onto each other’s faces, during the playoffs John and Ovi square up and hit each other in the jock a ritual number of times, and so on.

...in retrospect maybe I should have pinned John Carlson for more of this, or at least that the Washington Capitals like it when John Carlson humiliates them physically. John Carlson now thinks he can demand his D-partners dance for him, much to Kempny’s confusion.

Anyway then they go out to the ice, where Kempny gamely tows TJ into position for Tom Wilson to whale on his ass and/or balls with his stick. The force and placement of blows vary depending how they’re feeling tonight. TJ returns the favor until they fall to the ice in fake or sometimes maybe not so fake agony. 

When TJ recovers enough he’ll sneak over and steal a spank of the plushest and most precious hockey butt of all: goalie butt.

According to Lars Eller, “it’s little things we have fun with. We don’t do it for anybody else, but for us as a group…just a good way for us to start practice off with a laugh and smile.”

[popculturebuffet]

Goof Week: House of Mouse: Super Goof or Wish I Could Fly Like Super Goof (Patreon Review for WeirdKev27)

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Hello all you happy gorshers and welcome back to Goof Week, my week long celebration of Goofy’s 89th Birthday. And today I take my once a month trip down to the house of mouse as part of my patron kev’s yearlong celebration of the show’s 20th anniversary. And since I had this theme week in mind I asked him if it’d be okay if he strictly randomized goofy episodes, he said yes and here we are. 

Luck was on my side as I got what I remembered was one of my faviorite episodes of the show. But before I can get if it lived up to the hype or not a brief word on Super Goof. 

Super Goof is actually from the comics, first debuting in a story where Goofy thought he had super powers and fought the Phantom Blot in a cowboy hat. 

This concept was a hit so in 1965 Goofy was made a superhero for real with Super Goof #1. This dosen’t suprise me: this was the height of the silver age: The Lee and Kirby age of Marvel was in full swing and DC was still doing gangbusters. So there was market for a superhero spoof comic starring one of Disney’s best and brightest characters, who was given a bunch of super peanuts called super goobers to give him superman powers.  What DOES surprise me is the series lasted 74 issues from 65-84. And what’s more insane and wonderful? It didn’t get canceled because of low sales or anything. That was simply when Gold Key shut down... and Gold Key was FOUNDED three years before it meaning this book lasted the company’s ENTIRE lifespan. I’ll say that again, a book about goofy eating peanuts that started because of a story where goofy thought he was a superhero and fought a cowboy phantom blot, lasted 74 issues and only ended because the publisher shut down. That... is one of the most amazing things I have ever heard in my life. I’m genuinely impressed... this isn’t even a bad concept, I likes it and wish Disney would give it a full series. Farmer could do wonders with it. I’m just amazed that this odball little comic took off like it did. And as one final fun fact much like Superman, Super Goof set off the trend of Disney’s classic characters becoming heroes, with Donald’s own Papernik/Duck Avenger following in his footsteps. I REALLY want a Disney Superhero Verse in animatoin now, I know there was a mini series like that. And I will have to visit these comics at some point I just simply didn’t have room in the week with a movie review tomorrow. . 

So with all that out of the way how does Super Goof do on screen and does the episode hold up? Join me under the cut to find out. 

As usual for HOM I’ll be doing the shorts and overarching story seperate soooo

How To To Take Care of Your Yard:

Look anyone whose read my stuff or even just my goofy shorts special  will know how much I love the How To Shorts and how this series is responsible. This admittedly isn’t one of the BEST of them.. but it’s still fun to watch. Even a forgettable How To Short is still GOOD. It’s abotu Goofy taking care of his yard over the four seasons and has some decent gags but nothing really standout.  I Honestly DO wish I had more to say but this one’s just okay and it woudln’t stick out as much if both the wraparound and the other short weren’t so spectacular. Speaking of which. 

Locksmiths: This is one of the few shorts I VIVIDLY remembered from childhood and for damn good reason. This is THE best short i’ve seen so far for House of Mouse this year and for good reason. The premise is simple enough: The Golden Trio are locksmiths.. who end up getting locked inside their own office just after Minnie calls with something urgent to tell them. 

The results are comic gold, with the standout bits being Goofy’s keys which is just such a wonderful hurricane of puns with some great visual gags to start it off that I can’t help but love it

There’s TONS of other good stuff too: The boys fishing for the key, Mickey opening a ton of doors in a sequence MST3K would be proud of and the finale with the boys falling out the office. This is a true , hilarious classic and my words can’t really do it justice. Seek this one out on it’s own or in the episode you will not regret it. A true classic for Disney Shorts period. 

Super Goof:

So onto the main story. Goofy asks Clarabelle out and she’s not only incredibly receptive but simply asks to check her schedule.. which he interprets as no.  I would make a joke here but i’ts clear from previous episodes HOM goofy has Low Self Esteem: he was utterly crushed not having a valentine and by his friends all wishing he could be less Goofy. So him overreacting like this is in character and comes off as endearing: it’s not that he thinks so low of her he’d think sh’ed pull something like this.. it’s that he’s so doubtful of someone liking him for who he is deep down he self sabotages something I can PAINFULLY relate to as that’s one of my biggest personal issues hands down. 

So outside presumably on break...

Not THAT kind of break. Though since I bring it up: they both were wrong. They WERE on a break, and it was wrong of tweedle dee and tweedle dum there to keep needling it ESPECIALLY since their the ones who TOLD HIM to hide his sleeping with the waitress and took NO responsibility for that. Rachel treating it like an affair constantly when she’s the one who wanted space and didn’t give him any paramerters for said is fucking terrible. It’s telling that in the reunion trailer everyone but Matthew LeBlanc, who was clearly just having some fun agreed they were.  That being said Ross still slept with someone five seconds after being on said break, still listneed to the two of them on hiding it when it was a bad idea, and STILL caused said break by being a clingy asshole to such a degree even his previous history of being cheated on does not justify or excuse how badly he treated Rachel. What i’m saying is they both sucked, and thus deserved each other, and by the end NEITHER was remotely likeable, with both having done terrible things both in said will they or won’t they hellscape and outside it, with Ross dating a student and Rachel dating her assistant. 

Anyways after that thing I clearly needed to get off my chest, we get a narration informing us a METEOR IS COMING and it strikes the peanuts Goofy’s depression snacking on, as a result he becomes SUPER GOOF! And after a display of his powers with various disney characters (finding Gepetto and Pinocchio in a whale, saving the dalmations from cruella , lifting the giant from the littlest tailor) and finds he has a narrator. No really Goofy notices and is not happy about it despite all superheros having one. I mean he’s not wrong, look what the X-Men’s did to  Cyclops:

But regardless he has him and Goofy flies through the air with the quickest of ease through the house of mouse impressing everyone who has no idea he’s goofy. This gag is a carry over from the comics and a transparent parody of the superman clark kent thing. But it works because Goofy still uses his name in costume, still has his hat and really changes nothing about his appearance. It’s simple but sometimes you just need a very simple gag to work and overxplaning it spoils the whole thing. Trust me I know as a certified experinced fuck up. 

So after the first cartoon Super Goofy guest stars, and we get some neat gags with the disney movie characters, though my faviorite is Peter Pan’s reactoin of “He Can fly he can fly he can fly, big deal. Anyone can do that”. It’s both perfectly in character and utterly hilarious. 

Goofy however starts to feel disheartneed as everyone compliments him.. and Minnie says he’s better than a regular goofy as do the others minus Mickey because he’s a good egg. And Clarabelle but he misinertperts her like of super goof as her liking him better as that. 

So fed up with everyone liking him better, Goofy throws away the peanuts, which he kept in his hat.. though one did fall in his waiter’s uniform. Remember that. The narrator questions if this is really the end and what if there’s peril but Goofy’s stubbornly instiant he won’t do it no matter what. 

Cue the what: another MUCH LARGER metor heading straight for Mainstreet

Goofy refuses to summon super goof despite the danger... Mickey has an apt response for him

This is the one scene I don’t really like: Goofy has a righ tto be upset they all prefer someone who just showed up hours ago over him, especially beceause it IS him, to the point Daisy was upset she got a picture of goofy instead of super goofy because J Jonah Jameson’s not going to pay for pictures of his next door neighbor. But Mickey has a right to not want to die horribly in a cataclysm of fire. 

So Goofy mopes off like his son to go save the world, fine whatever. Only as is cartoon law, the trash has been picked up meaning he dosen’t have any goobers.. except the CHEKOVS GOOBER. With it he chews it, flies up and has a truly impressive display holding it back while it’s just over clarabelle before dispoising of it. he hits on her in super form but she says she already has  date with regular goofy. Goofy’s confidence is restored, he’s probably getting laid tonight and we close on a Mike add for a school for Goofy’s. How much is tution.. asking for a me. 

Final Thoughts: This wraparound was great, a few small flaws but it has a great, engaging charcter driven story with some delightfully silly jokes that are right up my ally. It’s easy to see besides my love of superheroes why this one stood out to me: It’s funny, heartwrenching and stars one of my faviorite character.

The shorts are also good, one that’s okay , a bit too long but not bad, and one that’s an utter masterpiece. In fact the only reason the first short feels so long is you really want to get back to the main plot fast,  and that’s not a bad problem to have. This was an excellen tepisode and I recommend seeing it out. 

Before I get to my whole patreon speil, i’d like to say that House of Mouse STILL is not avaliable on Disney+ for reasons that haven’t been made clear. As such it’s on my Not Streaming List, a list I keep and update reguarly of shows that SHOULD be streaming on a particular service and have no clear reason NOT to be such as musical rights issues like the ones likely keeping shows like Drew Carrey, Northern Exposure and Murphy Brown off streaming. So check that out if your curious, link is on my main page and hit me up if you have any suggestoins for it. 

So thank you for reading and if you liked this review give it a like and consider joining my patreon at patreon.com/popculturebuffet. As a patron you’d get access to exclusive reviews, the patreon’s discord and to pick a short each time I do one of these shortstaculars. Donald’s comnig next month and the deadline is in only a few days to join up for said month so the clock is ticking. Even a dollar a month helps me reach my stretch goals so please i fyou can sign up today and if not, I understand and i’ll see you at the next rainbow

#goofy #goofy goof #clarabelle cow #house of mouse #mickey mouse #donald duck #minnie mouse #daisy duck #superheroes #super goof #goof week

[bl--ankhaeji]

Jisung

Pairing - Jisung x chubby*Reader

Genre - Fluff

Warning - Suggestive content, insecurities 

A/N - Soo this is a Jisung timestamp but this is done differently than how most do their timestamps also the Jisung in this is different than “usual” Jisung just to let y’all know. He’s getting older so I feel as if the content in here is not that bad and if any of you have problems with Jisung being a regular teenage boy with hormones then oh fucking well. If you want to keep seeing him as a child then this is not for you.  

W. Count - I don’t really know I didn’t look this time but ik it’s longer than I intended

5:30 

As you laid sideways across your bed trying to find the perfect position. You heard your mom in the kitchen cooking what you hope is dinner. Your stomach wailing as soon as the thought crosses your mind. ‘Ah I found it’ you think as the immediate comfort of the perfect laying spot begins to set deep within your body.

 You take a look at your phone and start back reading your story that was shining on the screen. It was starting to escalate as the currently featured side gay couple finally stopped lying to themselves and admittedly jumped each others bones. You feel the little tingle start in the pit of your stomach, it was just getting good when a message came through.

Jisungpwark 💚💚😗🤤🥰🤪:

BABEEEEE 

AHHHH

IM BOREDD

Come play mario kart with me 

You:

UGGHHH

But I just found the perfect laying spot 

And my mom’s cooking dinner 

Tell me why I should get up and come over? what’s in it for me 

Jisungpwark 💚💚😗🤤🥰🤪:

Maybe because you love me and dont wanna see me

 suffer from boredom 

You: 

Do I really love you that much though?

That’s the question of the hour

Jisungpwark 💚💚😗🤤🥰🤪:

First off that hurt 

Second of course you love me or else you wouldnt be 

dating me for 7 years now 

You: 

You forget about that time we broke up in fifth

grade 

Jisungpwark 💚💚😗🤤🥰🤪:

That was for ONE DAY ok 

If you come over I promise to let you win at mario kart

     “What the hell?” you exclaimed slightly outraged at the bullshit he just sent to your phone. Sitting up you feel the competitiveness start to spike. “Did he really just challenge me like that?”

     You get out of bed and start to put your shoes on, “He knows damn well that I can beat his ass without him ‘letting me win.’” 

You:

Stop fucking lying whore you know damn well I can 

beat your ass I mario kart 

See now I have to come over and whoop you at your

own video game

I’ll be over in 10

     Part of you knows Jisung said that on purpose but that didn’t stop you from taking the bait still.

     Walking out of your room you go into the kitchen and see your mother almost done with dinner, the sweet aroma of the food has your mouth watering, stopping for a second you ponder if you should really go play mario kart. 

     “Hey sweets, dinner is almost ready.” your mother turns to you and smiles, taking in your jacket and shoes and she looks at you questiongly.

     Walking around to your mom you give her a hug and a kiss on the cheek as you grab your car keys that sit behind her. “Hey I came to let you know that I was gonna head over to Jisung’s for a little to beat him at mario kart. He threatened me so I have to show him what’s up.”  Hearing your statement, one that she has heard before, your mother laughs and gives you an ok before she recommends just staying the night, knowing that you won’t be back anytime soon. 

     Thinking about it you go and pack a bag. Going towards the front door you’re about to step out when your mom calls you back in the kitchen to which you see her sitting at the table with a plate of food as she slides a container with enough for both you and Jisung. “Thank you mama.” you say smiling so wide that it almost hurt, feeling happy that you get to eat some of f/f(favorite food).

     “You’re welcome sweets. Oh and before I forget, be safe.”

     You left out a huff of air telling your mother that you will be careful driving so she has nothing to worry about.

     In a sing-song voice she goes,“That’s not what I meant.” As you open your mouth to ask what she meant she cuts you off by sliding something across the table. 

     “Mom...what is that. ‘Please don’t let it be what I think it is.’ But as you read the box your fears are confirmed. It is condoms. “Mom what the- EW mom no it’s not, we’re not-” she cuts you off with a raised hand. 

     “Sweetie you’re not in trouble. I know you and Jisung have been together for a very long time, and I trust and love you both. But you’re of the age where you do things like that and you may not feel comfortable telling me, but love safe sex is nothing to be ashame-”

     Never having been this flustered in your life you frantically tried to get her to stop,“MOM. I…” Fidgeting with your hands you start to awkwardly look around the kitchen as if it was the first time you had ever seen it. “...We don’t do those types of things.” 

     “Ok darling, but you never know what might happen.” She states with the smuggest look on her face, winking as she hands you four condoms. “I’m not endorsing it but I know that if you want to do it then there’s nothing I could do to stop you so take these. Also you might want to go ahead and get to his house, your phone has been buzzing for a while now.” She states whilst she started to eat the food that was on her plate. 

     You couldn’t get out of that house quick enough, seeing as how you almost fell walking out of the door. Settling down in the car you release the biggest cringe you’ve ever had in your life. “AHHH ew what the fuck was that!” you exclaim feeling the condoms that burned in your pockets, as if they were trying to set your pants on fire so that they could get put to good use. 

     Finally calming down your phone buzzes with another message from Jisung. You see that he’s left various messages questioning where you are or what's taking so long. Some stating that you must be dead. You shake your head at your silly boyfriend as you reply to his many messages. With a light sigh you put the key in the ignition and back out of your driveway.  

     It was then that you started to look back at you and Jisung’s relationship. You guys started dating in fifth grade when you both got dared to spend seven minutes in heaven at you guys long time friend, Jeongin’s, birthday party. He still holds the fact that the only reason you too got together was because of him, but ever since then you and Jisung have been going strong. 

     Except for that one day in fifth grade when you guys broke up a week after you had gotten together because Mina Jameson had convinced you that Jisung would never want a ‘bludder whale’ like you. Ha jokes on her she’s had five STD’s this year alone and at least two pregnancy scares and she didn’t even know how to say blubber so who’s on top now. 

     Ever since you were a child you’ve always been bigger than most girls and it did make you feel insecure for a very long time, but if it wasn’t for Jisung who reassured you and showered you with as much love as he could every time you slipped you don’t know what life would be like. 

     You loved him with everything you had. 

     You and Jisung had never gone past small makeouts. They barely even involved tongue, there’s no way that things would just escalate tonight out of basically nowhere. Right?

     Yea. Anyways Jisung is too shy for that even though sometimes he could be a cheeky asshole and I don’t know if I’m ready.  

     Seeing that you’ve made it to Jisung’s house you take a look at the time and see that it had been almost two hours as it was 6:45. Damn, well at least I brought food. 

     You greeted your soft looking boyfriend clad in a hoodie that is slightly big on him and Nike joggers, he almost tackled you to the ground when he saw the food in your hands. When he asked what took so long you just told him it was the food. You guys ate the food that your mom gave you and started playing mario kart.

8:23

     After about 15 rematches most of which you won Jisung’s mom called him into the living room. She had an emergency at work and she wanted him to know that she wouldn’t be back till tomorrow.

     “So babe, what are we gonna do now? We could watch a movie or...” Jisung whispered, trailing off as he got in bed next to you and started to survey every inch of your face. It felt as if he was looking into your soul. You felt like he could see every single flaw on your face and you did not like it. As soon as he started leaning in moving his hand to your pillowy waist your mind flashed to the conversation you had with your mother. 

     ‘Is this it? Does he want to do it?’ Overwhelming thoughts started to cloud your mind and pretty soon you found yourself jerking back once you felt the tip of his nose touch yours. The sound of the sheets moving filled the room as you stood up off of the bed. 

     “Uhh it’s getting late, A movie sounds nice I think I’m just gonna go shower right quick and we can watch the movie when I get out, ok?” You state as you quickly gather your shorts that you brought and a hoodie out of Jisung’s closet, and rush into his en suite bathroom almost slamming the door behind you.   

     Turning on the shower to make sure he didn’t hear you, you immediately start to whisper shout, “Ah! What the fuck was that, who the fuck was that and what did he do with my boyfriend. Jisung has never been like that before.” Tying your hair up you hop in the shower feeling the water pelt your skin as you decided to forget about it, but you couldn’t deny the twinge you felt in your stomach every time you thought about how he looked when he stared at you like that. 

9:34

     The movie was boring so you guys decided to play games again. Only for Jisung to see that he was about to lose against you in Mortal Kombat and in an effort to be a little bitch he tackled you. Now wrestling you yell at him in mock anger for ruining the game before you could kick his head off. As you flipped the both of you over so that you were on top you started to pettily slap his arm. 

     “Ahh Park Jisung you dick! I almost won why’d you do tha-” You had gotten too comfortable and loosed up your legs that were caging him in and he was able to flip you mid sentence. It was then you noticed what a compromising position you both were in, it looked somewhat akin to the basic missionary. 

     Letting out quickened breaths you started to heat up as Jisung stayed in between your legs. You could see the slight perspiration sort of dampen his hair. The game made a sound that surprised you a little causing you to sort of jerk your body. At that Jisung let out a groan that sounded like it was painful. 

     Your body alerts and you start to question him,“Jisung I’m sorry are you ok? What happened?” A ferocious blush starts to race across his cheeks. He avoids your eyes and tells you that it was nothing and that he’s fine.

     “Jisung stop lying and would you let me up now, you’ve been laying on me for a while an-” Cool slightly wet lips touch yours. A little startled at first you tense up but then his lips start to move against yours and the tension in your body slowly unwinds till nothing is left but pure bliss. His lips slowly caress yours and this feels like nothing you’ve ever felt in your life. The passion and the want that he puts into kissing you has you going crazy. 

     Once a steady rhythm is set you move your lower body in an effort to get comfortable and Jisung groans again, and you immediately feel something against your leg and you get flustered because now you know why he groaned and you feel like an idiot for not figuring it out sooner. 

     Jisung wants more, more of you, more of this. The high that this is putting him on is euphoric and for now he doesn’t want to stop. He didn’t say anything but when you came out of his bathroom in his hoodie that fit just like a dress because of the height difference and the illusion that you had nothing on under got him so riled up that he almost couldn’t breathe. It was always like that when it came to you. He loved you so much that it was at most times suffocating. He slips his tongue out of his mouth and just barely grazes it against your bottom lip as if he was testing out the water temp in a pool. 

     You feel something wet against your lips realizing that it was Jisung’s tongue and you quickly almost embarrassingly so open your mouth to let him in. His tongue ventures farther into your mouth and for a little bit there you both are, in the middle of the floor in his room exploring each other, tasting each other, and it is as if there is no one or nothing in the world except for you two. 

     Soon enough without realizing Jisung starts to slowly grind his semi-erection right on to your heated core. The feeling was heavenly and neither of you wanted to stop. 

     He lifts off of your lips so that you both could breath but he soon started to kiss all over your neck, and you throw your head back and release a moan that sounded like heaven to his ears. Grabbing your soft plushy sides he starts to feel anywhere that he can and you tense up out of slight fear at what could be his reaction. He runs one hand down to your thigh, lifting it so that it’s placed on his hip softly squeezing while the other starts to make its way to the hem of your hoodie pulling it up slightly, and that’s when the thoughts came. 

     You quickly pushed Jisung off of you and sat up trying to pull the hoodie as far down your body that it could reach. You looked toward Jisung to see that he had a blush the color of a strawberry and his lips were swollen to look even more soft and inviting than normal. Standing up you rush to his bathroom and close the door leaving a severely confused and turned on Jisung on the floor.  

     Looking toward the mirror, multiple hickies are splattered across your neck and when you lift your hand to rub against them you jolt a little at how tender they were. You could also see where it looked as if you had taken a shot at the kylie jenner lip challenge. But that wasn’t where your mind was at, you were focused on what just happened out there. Thoughts of Jisung possibly seeing your chubby stomach riddled with stretch marks made immediate panic course through your veins. 

     You normally were so good with not thinking about things like that Jisung having helped you be able to get here, but now when he was on the precipice of Jisung seeing your body you couldn’t think about anything but the possible disgust at what you really looked like. 

     It’s not like you didn’t trust him or anything but when insecurity strikes it strikes hard. You consider telling Jisung about these feelings considering you always have in the past, but what if he feels as if you’re doubting his love for you and he gets mad.

     You realize that you’ve probably been in the bathroom for a long time and you didn’t want Jisung to worry so you muster up the courage and with a determined release of air you open the door. Only to see that Jisung is not where you left him. 

     “I wonder where he’s at?” You speak into the air until you wonder what time it is and see that it’s 10:15. ‘WTF we were making out for that long’

     Thirty minutes have passed and Jisung is still not back. As soon as you get up to go look for him he walks into the room. 

     “Where were you? You’ve been gone for a little over half an hour.” 

     Jisung looks at you and when he sees your truly confused face he shyly thwarts his eyes and lifts his hand to rub his neck at the realization that he’ll actually have to explain. But before he can you see his shy gaze and it clicks in your mind what he could’ve been doing regarding what you felt earlier. Biting the inside of your lip you tell him nevermind stating that you already know. He apologizes and says he had to do something because he didn’t want to make you feel uncomfortable.      

11:00

     The last fifteen minutes have been filled with an agonisingly awkward aura in the air. You and Jisung have been sitting up against the headboard of his bed staring at some movie on tv but you knew that neither of you were actually paying attention. Jisung’s warm hand slides toward yours and upon contact you jump up and away. 

     “Babe what’s wrong? You’ve been jumpy ever since what happened a while ago. Is everything ok? Did I do something wrong?” Jisung asks with slight guilt in his voice thinking he was the problem. You told him no but he didn’t believe and you kept trying to deny his accusations saying that you were just tired but he wouldn’t take that for an answer.

     He grabbed your chin and sort of gently forced you to look at him and when you saw his warm eyes filled with nothing but love you had no choice but to break down and tell him. 

     Hot salty tears ran down your face and he took his thumb and used it to wipe your tears as you described what happened when he tried to go under the hoodie. You had to continuously reassure him that it was not his fault, but your own. 

     “I promise Jisung you did nothing wrong. I love you so much we’ve been through everything together. It’s my fault for feeling this way even when you constantly shower me with love. I just sometimes, I feel like you shouldn’t like me and when you tried to reach under my hoodie it’s just like I didn’t want my fears to come true once you see my body.” 

     “...Babe I- I don’t know how to approach this like I want you to know how much I truly love you. I honestly love your body so much but I don’t want you to think that's all though.” Jisung stated nervously mildly irritated at himself for not being able to properly express his feelings for you. Starting to think you honestly couldn’t believe why you didn’t trust him. He was your mouse, your tall boi, your marshmallow, your love, and possibly even your life.

     “C’mere” Jisung stated in his deep soothing voice as he pulled you into his lap in a straddle position. 

     What Jisung didn’t know was that you loved whenever you got to sit in his lap, it made you feel giddy inside. 

     Jisung totally knew that you loved to sit in his lap.

     “It’s ok, we don’t have to rush. If you don’t feel comfortable showing your body too me yet then that’s ok...One request though.” He states with a small smile and a single finger held in the air. “Can we at least keep making out like this because I’ve been holding myself back and after tonight I don’t think I can do that anymore.” He promptly flashes a slightly cocky smirk to which you answer with a smack on the arm earning a laugh from him. 

     Wondering why you even date him you give him a lingering kiss on the lips and snuggle into his chest. 

     “Y/n, I noticed that earlier when you were talking about what happened you called this hoodie yours. I just wanted you to- ACK stop choking me- AKKK.” 

Although he was currently being choked he was happy, because he knew that you were ok.

#jisung #park jisung #jisung park #nct #nct dream #nct blog #nct fluff #jisung timestamps #jisung fluff #nct jisung #nct jisung fluff #suggestive #chubby #chubby reader #nctxchubbyreader #nct x chubby reader #nctxreader #nct x reader #MY STORIES

[shining-red-diamond]

Shallow Waters (Part II)

Words: 1.6k

Pairing: Hendery x Brittany (OC)

Rating: PG-15

Genre: fluff, some angst

Warnings: mentions of abandonment and homelessness, brief partial nudity (nothing graphic)

Brittany listened to everything Hendery told her from the small seahorses serving the merfolk to the giant humpback whales he used to swim and splash with. The dolphins were the best at making friends, and the starfish were the best dancers. He didn’t discuss the merfolk themselves due to his lack of knowledge about them, yet he gave only what he knew about himself being one. But Hendery talked very highly of the sirens.

“Didn’t they sing to lure pirates and sailors to their deaths?” Brittany’s eyebrow raised in confusion.

“Only the females,” Hendery confirmed. “Males sing, too, but for the opposite reasons. They sing to guide sailors and comfort the wandering travelers when on land.”

“Interesting. No one told me there were male sirens.”

“Not many humans do. Males don’t make contact with humans unless necessary. They stay in the fog or shadows.”

“That makes sense.”

Hendery rested his chin on her head for a moment before an idea popped into his head. “Would Brittany like to meet Hendery’s friends?”

“Your siren friends?” Her head popped up.

Hendery nodded.

“When?”

“Soon,” he promised. “They are helping another race of aquatic creatures right now, but I’ll call for them in a few days.”

Brittany’s eyes widened as they stood. “Who are they helping?”

Hendery thought for a moment. “Something about shark creatures or just a type of shark. Hendery doesn’t remember.”

Sharks were a creature most people are scared of, but Brittany guessed it was mainly because of the movie Jaws. She did agree that they were intimidating due to their rows of sharp teeth, but at the same time she didn’t mind them.

“Since you’re strong and grown up now,” Brittany wondered as they submerged back into the water, “do you live with the merfolk now?”

“Hendery is different,” he shook his head. “He is the only one of his kind who has shark’s teeth and consumes only fish. He can transform willingly without water, but only he can go humanoid for up to two weeks without getting back into the water.”

“You mean, you haven’t been around mermaids or other mermen since you were small?”

“Hendery is a nomad.”

Brittany didn’t know what to say. He was such a bright, curious, and happy soul that it was impossible to believe he had such a sad childhood. She understood why the merfolk would not allow him into their cities, but it still wasn’t fair to him if he just wanted a proper home. Her conscience knew it was all of a sudden, but she refused to let him sleep on a rock or beach anymore.

As they swam back to her house, avoiding the fishermen as they passed the pier, Brittany’s head was filled with the pros and cons of allowing him to live there. There was plenty of water for him to drink and keep hydrated, the ocean was literally in her backyard, and she would keep a stock of fish in the fridge. However, the fish might stink up her kitchen, and she didn’t know if he would be comfortable on a bed mattress. Part of her was saying it was a bad idea, but Brittany was taught to always help others in need.

The two made it back to her house and dried off with the towels hanging off the porch railing.

“Hendery likes it here,” the merman said as they sat under a large palm tree.

“I’m glad to hear that,” Brittany smiled. “May I ask you something?”

The offer for him to move in with her was right at the tippity top of her tongue, but she hesitated. It felt too soon. Instead, she remembered the carnival at the other end of the beach.

“Have you ever been to a carnival before?” was what came out of her mouth.

Hendery motioned towards the other end of the beach. “Is that what those bright lights are?”

“Yeah. We can go tonight, if you’d like.”

A smile grew on his face upon hearing this. “Hendery doesn’t not know what that is, but it sounds fun.”

“We’ll have to get cleaned up first.”

“Why?” he asked.

“So we don’t drag sand around,” she replied as they stood up.

Taking him by the hand, Brittany guided him into the house, while dragging a little bit of sand, and into a room he had never seen before. The walls were a shade of white with a blue tint, and in one corner was a large, glass door with glass walls and odd looking bottles inside. In the other corner was a round, boat-looking piece of porcelain that was big enough for two people to sit in. Between the two strange corners was a wooden cabinet that went from the floor up to the ceiling. Brittany opened one and pulled out pink colored towels and handed a few to Hendery.

“What is this place?” he asked as his eyes wandered around more.

“This is the bathroom,” Brittany replied when she realized she hadn’t given her friend a proper tour of the house. “It’s a room where humans clean themselves.”-She opened the glass door-”This is called a ‘shower.’ It’s more for when you wash your hair or just prefer a shower.”-she walked over to the porcelain boat. “And this is a bathtub. It’s more for a relaxing bath, but you still get clean, either way.”

“What are in those?” Hendery pointed to the bottles in the shower.

“Shampoo and conditioner are for your hair, and the body soap is self explanatory.”

Hendery nodded. For about half a minute, he glanced back and forth between the bathtub and the shower trying to figure out which he would like best. He wanted to see what bathing standing up was like, but he also desired to see what his tail would look sparkling clean. The ocean did so much by removing any mud or dirt, but he did notice tiny particles when he would be on dry land.

“Can Brittany bathe Hendery?” he requested. “In the bathtub?”

Brittany softly smiled and nodded. “I’ll turn around so you can undress.”

Once she turned on the water and made sure the temperature was okay, she then stood by the sink and faced the corner. The water rose to only about four inches before Hendery removed the borrowed clothing and discarded them on the floor. His toes carefully dipped into the warm, bubbly bath, taking in the relaxing sensation it created.

Hendery made his tail appear, replacing his human legs.

“Ready,” he said.

Brittany turned back around to see the merman in her bathtub trying his best not to splash the water too much, and she let out a giggle. He looked so cute just enjoying the water in that particular setting.

From the shower, she took out the hair products and body soap and set them on the floor next to her. Pulling up a stool, she sat down on it and had Hendery wet his hair. Brittany then squeezed some of the shampoo into her palm and began massaging it gently into Hendery’s scalp.

At first, her touch was strange, but as he gave in to her gentle massage and the feeling of her nails softly scratching his head, he relaxed. Hendery could get used to this, and he hoped that he could do the same for her one day.

Chunks of ocean mud were falling out of his hair, and the soap was starting to turn a little brown; but it told Brittany that his hair was clean. With help from the detachable faucet, she rinsed his jet black locks, and left the water back on to prevent dirt build up.

With a pink loofah, Brittany squeezed out some of the body soap and used it to scrub Hendery’s tail. She let him clean himself around his waist area to prevent any awkwardness, and then she scrubbed the rest of him. If his tail wasn’t sparkly before, it was sparkling now. Hendery’s eyes widened at how clean his tail was as he wiggled his tail to reflect the sunlight.

“Beautiful,” Brittany clapped.

Hendery smiled at the gorgeous job she did. He felt fresh and light. He loved the ocean, but something about a nice bath was relaxing.

“Thank you,” he whispered before kissing her hand.

Brittany felt her cheeks turn red. “Um...you’re welcome,” she managed to say. Maybe it was just his way of showing gratitude, she thought.

Hendery giggled when he noticed how much that little kiss affected her.

“Um...I’m...gonna...shower,” she stammered. “Can you...uh…?”

“Would Brittany like for Hendery to leave?” he realized what she was trying to convey.

“Just to the living room,” she regained her words back. “I’d like to shower in private.”

Crestfallen, Hendery nodded. Brittany gave him his towels and some fresh clothes before he transformed and left the bathroom.

Brittany felt bad for kicking him out, especially after seeing the sad expression on his face. She didn’t mean to come off so strongly, she was just in shock by his kiss that she couldn’t convey her thoughts well.

“Hendery,” she called after him, and he turned back around, “I’ll let you wash my hair one of these days.”

The smile returned to his face before he nodded in joy.

-

After she showered and dressed herself in some denim shorts, white converse, and a pink crop top Brittany met Hendery back in the kitchen. His hair was mostly dry now, but he was checking himself out in the living room mirror.

“Someone’s excited,” Brittany chuckled as she grabbed her purse. “Are you ready?”

Hendery nodded before following her out the door.

The carnival pier was only about a five minute walk from her house, and the lights could be seen in the distance as the late afternoon sun began to set. Neither of them realized they were holding hands until halfway into their walk. Brittany almost let go, but with growing feelings for her new friend she didn’t. They strolled on as if they had been together for a long time.

-

Tags: @fantasywayv​ @ezralia-writes​ @dearyongs @daybreakx​ @neocitybyday​ @mafia-nct​ @bumblebeenct​​ @queen-of-himbos​ @the32ndbeat​ @philosopher-of-fandoms​ @dreamystuffers​ @jaekissd​

#kwritersworldnet #kpopscape #nct-writers #kdiarynet #kpopficsnetwork #wayvhoursnet #nctcreations #neothestars #nct #wayv #wayv hendery #wong hendery #wong kunhang #wayv fluff #wayv angst #wayv hendery fluff #wayv x oc #merman au

[resonanteye]

via https://resonanteye.net/horror-reviews-day-2-slither-no/

horror reviews day 2: slither? no.

only one movie tonight: growth

1: I’ve seen that before. Slither? It’s a nice effect, parasites in the skin.

2: diabetes

3: I love a good news-montage intro. There’s something about it that makes me start to believe the movie could be real, this is how things first get scary in real life most of the time (unless you’re right on the scene)

4: ok, you’re going to use leeches to make people into super-people. I’m sure nothing will go wrong. this part of the intro is not as good, but then again, if we’re getting into scientific hubris I suppose an info dump is how it’s done. it just feels like this is half of the movie I wanted to watch, crammed into 30 seconds. this isn’t a sequel, there’s no excuse.

5: slither. it’s slither, but with “man playing god” instead of “aliens”

6: no service on the phones. will they have cell service with no explanation later? maybe.

7: by all means go back to an island that had some wild outbreak, and where people still apparently live? who are these people living there? how can they sell a house there? IT WAS ON THE NEWS

8: second outbreak, who’d a thunk it. and yes leave her alone in there? the hell. why are there “townspeople” on a damn plague island? the idea that it can’t be sold makes more sense and I believe it.

9: we’ve already seen a corpse and a violent murder, you can say “shit”.

10: these creatures are flappy. I like it. if they start sexing, they’re dead.

11: told ya. dude’s doomed.

12: oh please equalize these movies. the sonic blast of sound after people whispering for fifteen minutes! I use subtitles but it still got through.

13: so all this outbreak was NOT on the news? also: “parasites feed on adrenaline” is a great quote. also also: get in the damn car to the doctor, don’t look for cell service.

14: these leeches are cool. accordions are cool but are not a substitute for backstory.

15: why are you kidding a man that was just vomiting all over himself.

16: I would murder that alarm clock.

17: they don’t put him in a car to go the doctor, and now this infected island is his getting… threads of leeches from his leg. and he’s not getting laid twice. it doesn’t work that way. or wait- in slither, dude got a lady on the side. guess he will get laid twice.

18: I love the intuition. all right, it’s better than it was a minute ago. matrix fight scene included.

19: yep, slither. will she end up full of parasites, hidden in a barn, the size of a whale? hongry? looks like it.

20: using practical effects in a movie like this looks AMAZING after too much CGI

21: what in the entire wicker man remake is this shit

22: WORM MAN IN A LITTLE COAT

23: he’s walking. she’s running. for fuck sake. that’s some early horror we-don’t-know-better shit. there’s no reason a recent movie should do this, ever.

24: that’s two penetrative acts of violence so far.

25: again: why is anyone living on this island.

26: n95 masks, and they’re going to… beat him up. solid plan?

27: WORM MAN

28: I’m not going to show you worm man, but here’s an arm being turn off to be used as a weapon.

29: town sheriff just looks tired as hell. just has to keep shooting everyone, it’s the only thing he’s done in this movie.

30: shades of reanimator going on here. that’s pretty good. mad doctors and leeches. we already know the antidote’s in that stupid doll. just saunter out while he gives a monologue for the ages, excellent.

31: suddenly it’s a zombie movie, somehow it’s still not on the news.

32: diabetes to the rescue.

33: the CGI is really bad. it’s been, the whole time. I wish horror would go back to relying more on practical effects, with CGI used for anything BUT the monster/gore. my little website badly reviewing this one movie probably doesn’t mean much, but it’s how I feel.

34: oh here come the monologues.

35: what the hell kinda creature WANTS you to eat it

36: WHY ISN’T THIS BABY FULL OF LEECHES

37: oh of course it’s about a baby. thing should be full of leeches, but it’s now the central motivation. how about getting your brother the antidote? how about that? no. just a random baby.

38: shades of children of men. usually that would be a compliment but not now.

39: never make a sequel. this hint at it is bad.

6/10. I’m being generous because I loved slither. bad CGI, used way too much. bad ending notes. poorly built characters. half the movie is missing or contained in info dumps. good idea though.

#true stories

[papermoonloveslucy]

THE WILLS

March 19, 1950

“The Wills” (aka “The Coopers Make Their Wills”) is episode #80 of the radio series MY FAVORITE HUSBAND broadcast on March 19, 1950.

Synopsis ~  After Liz and George make out their wills, Liz is convinced that George intends to do away with her. Liz is startled to find a receipt for some arsenic and rope in his pocket, but is shocked when George suggests a trip to the country - with a one-way ticket for Liz!

Starting with this episode, “My Favorite Husband” moved from Thursday nights, to Sunday nights. 

Note: This program was used as a basis for a scene in “I Love Lucy” episode “Lucy Thinks Ricky Is Trying to Murder Her” (ILL S1;E4) filmed on September 8, 1951 and first aired November 5, 1951. For various reasons, it was the first episode of the series filmed, but the fourth aired. 

“My Favorite Husband” was based on the novels Mr. and Mrs. Cugat, the Record of a Happy Marriage (1940) and Outside Eden (1945) by Isabel Scott Rorick, which had previously been adapted into the film Are Husbands Necessary? (1942). “My Favorite Husband” was first broadcast as a one-time special on July 5, 1948. Lucille Ball and Lee Bowman played the characters of Liz and George Cugat, and a positive response to this broadcast convinced CBS to launch “My Favorite Husband” as a series. Bowman was not available Richard Denning was cast as George. On January 7, 1949, confusion with bandleader Xavier Cugat prompted a name change to Cooper. On this same episode Jell-O became its sponsor. A total of 124 episodes of the program aired from July 23, 1948 through March 31, 1951. After about ten episodes had been written, writers Fox and Davenport departed and three new writers took over – Bob Carroll, Jr., Madelyn Pugh, and head writer/producer Jess Oppenheimer. In March 1949 Gale Gordon took over the existing role of George’s boss, Rudolph Atterbury, and Bea Benadaret was added as his wife, Iris. CBS brought “My Favorite Husband” to television in 1953, starring Joan Caulfield and Barry Nelson as Liz and George Cooper. The television version ran two-and-a-half seasons, from September 1953 through December 1955, running concurrently with “I Love Lucy.” It was produced live at CBS Television City for most of its run, until switching to film for a truncated third season filmed (ironically) at Desilu and recasting Liz Cooper with Vanessa Brown.

MAIN CAST

Lucille Ball (Liz Cooper) was born on August 6, 1911 in Jamestown, New York. She began her screen career in 1933 and was known in Hollywood as ‘Queen of the B’s’ due to her many appearances in ‘B’ movies. With Richard Denning, she starred in a radio program titled “My Favorite Husband” which eventually led to the creation of “I Love Lucy,” a television situation comedy in which she co-starred with her real-life husband, Latin bandleader Desi Arnaz. The program was phenomenally successful, allowing the couple to purchase what was once RKO Studios, re-naming it Desilu. When the show ended in 1960 (in an hour-long format known as “The Lucy-Desi Comedy Hour”) so did Lucy and Desi’s marriage. In 1962, hoping to keep Desilu financially solvent, Lucy returned to the sitcom format with “The Lucy Show,” which lasted six seasons. She followed that with a similar sitcom “Here’s Lucy” co-starring with her real-life children, Lucie and Desi Jr., as well as Gale Gordon, who had joined the cast of “The Lucy Show” during season two. Before her death in 1989, Lucy made one more attempt at a sitcom with “Life With Lucy,” also with Gordon.

Richard Denning (George Cooper) was born Louis Albert Heindrich Denninger Jr., in Poughkeepsie, New York. When he was 18 months old, his family moved to Los Angeles. Plans called for him to take over his father’s garment manufacturing business, but he developed an interest in acting. Denning enlisted in the US Navy during World War II. He is best known for his  roles in various science fiction and horror films of the 1950s. Although he teamed with Lucille Ball on radio in “My Favorite Husband,” the two never acted together on screen. While “I Love Lucy” was on the air, he was seen on another CBS TV series, “Mr. & Mrs. North.” From 1968 to 1980 he played the Governor on “Hawaii 5-0″, his final role. He died in 1998 at age 84.

Gale Gordon (Rudolph Atterbury) had worked with Lucille Ball on “The Wonder Show” on radio in 1938. One of the front-runners to play Fred Mertz on “I Love Lucy,” he eventually played Alvin Littlefield, owner of the Tropicana, during two episodes in 1952. After playing a Judge in an episode of “The Lucy-Desi Comedy Hour” in 1958, he would re-team with Lucy for all of her subsequent series’: as Theodore J. Mooney in ”The Lucy Show”; as Harrison Otis Carter in “Here’s Lucy”; and as Curtis McGibbon on “Life with Lucy.” Gordon died in 1995 at the age of 89.

Bea Benadaret (Iris Atterbury) does not appear in this episode. 

Ruth Perrott (Katie, the Maid) was also later seen on “I Love Lucy.” She first played Mrs. Pomerantz (above right), a member of the surprise investigating committee for the Society Matrons League in “Pioneer Women” (ILL S1;E25), as one of the member of the Wednesday Afternoon Fine Arts League in “Lucy and Ethel Buy the Same Dress” (ILL S3;E3), and also played a nurse when “Lucy Goes to the Hospital” (ILL S2;E16). She died in 1996 at the age of 96.

Bob LeMond (Announcer) also served as the announcer for the pilot episode of “I Love Lucy”. When the long-lost pilot was finally discovered in 1990, a few moments of the opening narration were damaged and lost, so LeMond – fifty years later – recreated the narration for the CBS special and subsequent DVD release.

GUEST CAST

Herb Vigran (Doctor Stephens) made several appearances on “My Favorite Husband.” He would later play Jule, Ricky’s music union agent on two episodes of “I Love Lucy”. He would go on to play Joe (and Mrs. Trumbull’s nephew), the washing machine repairman in “Never Do Business With Friends” (S2;E31) and Al Sparks, the publicity man who hires Lucy and Ethel to play Martians on top of the Empire State Building in “Lucy is Envious” (S3;E23). Of his 350 screen roles, he also made six appearances on “The Lucy Show.”

EPISODE

ANNOUNCER: “As we look in on the Coopers tonight, it's just after dinner, and we find Liz and George settling down to a normal evening's conversation.”  

George has something he needs to talk to Liz about. Liz immediately thinks it is something to do with her household budget, but George wants to talk about their wills. The subject immediately upsets Liz. The idea of living without George sends Liz into gales of tears. George wants her to read it, and threatens to leave everything to his mother if she doesn’t. Liz snatches the will from him. George then tells her that he has had her will drawn up as well. 

LIZ: “What for? You're the one who's going! What are you trying to do, push me ahead of you in line?”

George reminds her of the three acres of Florida beachfront property that her father left her, which she calls ‘Sunken Acres.’  George always assumed it was oil land. 

LIZ: “If there's any oil down there, it's still in a whale. Oh! I see it all now, George! You want me to sign a will leaving everything to you, and then you'll bump me off! You want to get your dirty fishhooks on my oil holdings!

Liz agrees to read and sign the will as the scene fades out.  At the bank the next day, Mr. Atterbury notices that George seems tired. George admits he was up late talking to Liz about their wills. Mr. Atterbury proposes that the Coopers join him and Iris at their mountain lodge for the weekend, flying up, and then leaving the girls there for the week while they fly back for work. The following weekend they will drive up to get them in Mr. Atterbury’s new car. 

Mr. Atterbury has already bought the airline tickets and asks George to go to the hardware store for a few items. 

MR. ATTERBERRY: “I need poison for those horrible little gophers up there. And some rope for a clothesline, and a couple of sacks of cement. Iris wants a patio so she can sunbathe. Come to think of it, that ought to keep the gophers away.” GEORGE:  “Let me make a list on the back of this envelope. Now, poison, ropes, cement...” MR. ATTERBERRY: “Oh, and I need an axe, too.”

Mr. Atterbury tells George that they should tell their wives that they are just going for a weekend, so that they don’t rush out to buy a week’s worth of new clothes.

At the Cooper home, Katie the Maid is preparing dinner. George comes home and tells Liz the good news that they’ll be going to the Atterbury’s lodge this weekend, and he’s got the airline tickets in his pocket. As George goes upstairs to prepare for dinner, Katie reminds Liz that she has a beauty shop appointment on Saturday. Liz wonders what time the plane leaves, and fishes in George’s jacket pocket to check the tickets. She notices that one tickets is round trip, and the other is one way!   Liz immediately assumes one of them isn’t coming back, and reminds Katie that George asked her to sign her will!  She notices some writing on the envelope that looks like a shopping list.

LIZ: “Poison! He's going to take me out in the woods and poison me! Look, at the next item - rope. If the poison doesn't work, he's gonna hang me! Cement. If I live through the poison and the rope, he's gonna put my feet in cement and dump me in the lake! Look what's next - axe! If I able to hold my breath, he's gonna swim in the water and chop me to pieces!” KATIE: “Oh, how can Mr. Cooper do such a thing?” LIZ: “With that list of weapons, how can he miss?“

Liz realizes why George might want to do away with her - they’ve finally struck oil on Sunken Acres!

End of Part One

Announcer Bob LeMond reads a live Jell-O commercial. 

ANNOUNCCER: “As we return to the Coopers, we find Liz in a state of nervous apprehension. After years of having George under her thumb, she's suddenly discovered that he's bout to put the finger on her. Or at least she thinks he is. But right now it's after dinner, and Liz, the intended victim, is in the living room, reading. While George, the killer, is slowly stalking up behind her.”

George kisses Liz on the back of the neck. She screams!  Liz nervously says that she’d rather not go to the Atterbury’s lodge this weekend. 

GEORGE: “What? Why, Liz, you love the lodge. You always say that's your idea of living.”  LIZ: “Well, I want to keep it that way.”

George says that he has a big surprise for her up there. Liz suggests he take his mother and give HER the big surprise!

GEORGE: “Now, don't be silly! You just wait: When you wake up Monday morning, you'll be very pleasantly surprised.”  LIZ: “If I wake up Monday morning, I'll be surprised.”

Liz wonders if George is having money problems. She asks him why he made her sign her will last night. George says that if it bothers her so much, he’ll tear it up - as soon as they get back from the lodge. 

Liz runs to her bedroom and locks the door! George telephones Dr. Stephens (Herb Vigran) to report that Liz is acting peculiar. 

DOCTOR: “Peculiar for Liz, or peculiar for normal people?”

RICKY RICARDO: “Lucy is acting crazy!” FRED MERTZ: “Crazy for Lucy or crazy for ordinary people?”

This joke was adapted for Lucy Ricardo in “Lucy Thinks Ricky Is Trying To Do Murder Her” with Fred Mertz taking the Doctor’s line. 

Doctor Stephens cannot make a house call because he’s got an appointment with his psychoanalyst, but he tells George to give Liz a sedative until he can get there. 

Liz comes in for a glass of water. George tells her that he’s had Katie prepare them some hot milk. In the kitchen, Katie tells Liz that she saw Mr. Cooper pour a powder into one of the glasses. Liz says she’ll just switch the glasses so that George drinks the one with the powder in it. 

In the living room she distracts George just long enough to switch the glasses. But when George lifts his glass to drink, Liz dashes it from his hand. She says she couldn’t do it to him, even if he could do it to her. 

LIZ: “You put something in my glass, didn't you, George? Well, I fooled you! I switched glasses!”  GEORGE: “I had a hunch that's why Katie called you, so I switched them again while you were out of the room.”

Liz starts to gag as if she’s been poisoned! Liz falls to the floor, convinced she is going to die, trying to make peace with George in her final moments.

LIZ: “If I had my life to live over again, I want you to know I'd do better. I could stay within the budget, if I tried. (coughs) And I'd never buy clothes I need. (coughs) I'd throw away my charge-a-plate.”

The doorbell rings. It is Mr. Atterbury, come to make the ‘final arrangements.’  Liz tells George that she saw the one way ticket, and the shopping list for poison and the axe.  The men dissolve in laughter.  Mr. Atterbury explains that those were supplies for the lodge.  Liz is angry that she’s been tricked, and refuses to keep the promises she made in her ‘final moments’.

LIZ: "I didn't know what I was saying! I was under the influence of warm milk!”

End of Episode

In the live Jell-O commercial, Lucille Ball plays a Mexican spy, and Bob LeMond is interviewing her for a job. 

In the bedtime tag, it is five in the morning and George is reading a suspenseful magazine story. Liz begs him to turn out the light, but then can’t sleep until he knows the outcome of the story. Liz grabs the magazine and reads the last lines.

LIZ: “The huge, shapeless thing crept slowly up behind Mildred, and before she could scream it slipped its bony hands around her - Oh, no!!!” GEORGE: “What does it say, Liz? Around her what?” LIZ: “Around her continued next week! Good night!”

ANNOUNCER: “You have been listening to ‘My Favorite Husband’ starring Lucille Ball, with Richard Denning, and based on characters created by Isobel Scott Rorick. Tonight's transcribed program was produced and directed by Jess Oppenheimer, who wrote the script with Madelyn Pugh and Bob Carroll, Jr. Be sure to get the April Issue of ‘Radio Mirror Magazine’ with the big picture of Lucille Ball on the cover. That's the April issue of ‘Radio Mirror Magazine.’ Original music was composed by Marlin Skyles and conducted by Wilbur Hatch. Bob LeMond speaking.”

#My Favorite Husband #Lucille Ball #Richard Denning #Gale Gordon #I Love Lucy #Ruth Perrott #Bob LeMond #Herb Vigran #radio #CBS #Radio Mirror #The Wills #Jello

[dyke-remy]

Live And Let Die, part 1

Part 2    Part 3    Part 4   Part 5   Part 6 

Description: Agent 008 and Agent 009, professional spies for the MI6 with liscense to kill. Partners in both work and love. After an agent goes missing the partners have to once more go out into the field. (It’s a James Bond AU)

You don’t need to know anything about James Bond to be able to read this fic, trust me

Words: 3516

It was 7 am when the alarm clock went off. It's loud blaring filled the room that had been peaceful a few seconds ago. Remus let out a grunt. Without opening his eyes he took out a knife from under his pillow and threw it at the clock. The noise disappeared.

"You can't keep doing that" Remy muttered, half yawning it out "Q is like running out of clocks"

"If he could make that morning star that also worked as a disco ball for my birthday he can make some new clocks" He replied.

The room (and the entire apartement) was of average size with just enough space for everything necessary. Which made sense, they didn't spend much time in there anyway. Soft morning light was shimmering in through the window.

The blanket had been wrinkled since Remy was laying over it with their head on the pillow. Remus had his arms wrapped around their waist. They were so close their hair twined together on the pillows. He leaned closer and gave his spouse a good morning kiss.

Their slow awakening was interrupted by someone knocking on the door. They glanced at one another as their expressions turned serious. Remus quietly got up and grabbed the gun laying on the nearest drawer. Butt naked as he was he sneaked over to the door and slowly opened it and at the same time held the gun out.

"Good morn- AAAHHHH!" Patton Moneypenny screamed when he saw the gun peeking out at him. He had on a dark blue knitted suit jacket with stylish bows instead of buttons. With it he had on wide blue matching suit pants.

Remus' posture relaxed when he saw who it was. He fully opened the door "Hiya Moneypenny. You should yell it's you next time or else your brain might paint the walls.....That would look kinda nice tho"

"You should take something on" Patton suggested with a cheerful smile while his cheeks went bright red.

"He should" Remy who had come up behind their husband agreed "One day someone will shoot your dick off"

"Naaaahhhh. They will be too surprised by seeing my massive cock to think about attacking me and then it'll be too late. Boom bang dead! It's a genius tactic!!"

Remy rolled their eyes. They sent Patton a warm smile before pulling him into a hug "Hiya PatPat! Wanna come in?"

"Yeah" As he looked around the room which he'd been in many times he continued with "M wants to meet you in 15 min"

M was the leader of the MI6, the organisation they all worked for. Patton had been his secretary for as long as anyone could remember. It would be weird to imagine M's office without Pat working tiredlesly on his desk right outside.

"15? Girl a lady needs time to get ready, what the fuck" Remy opened a drawer and pulled out the black suit pants, white shirt, black tie and black blazer that acted as their dress code.

"15? Oh! Too little time to spend with my Favorite person in the whole MI6!" Remus exclaimed. He still didn't have anything on.

He took Patton's hand and moved the other to lay on his waist. He spun him around in some sort of dance which made the shorter man giggle and blush harder. He tried not to look down at Remus'....

"Oh Mr. Moneypenny! Rotten apple of my eye! Every mission is spent missing you!" he continued to dramatically lament. He dipped Patton and playfully moved in for a kiss.

Patton let out a chuckle while leaning his head away. "I'm married"

"Ah yes! The greatest tragedy of my life!" Remus held his hand over his heart and all.

"Tragedy indeed" Remy commented before flicking their finger to the back of their husband's head. They dumped his clothes onto his head too "C'mon gal the sooner you get done the sooner you can go out and play fisticuffs with someone"

"Fantastic point dear!"

After gettin dressed Remus jumped up on the bed and pressed a specific spot on the painting on the wall. It turned around to reveal a collection of guns, knives and various other weapons hidden behind it. He patted his morning star and throwing stars goodmorning, fully knowing that M nor Q would allow him to bring them on a mission. Instead he took a gun and carefully cleaned it as if he was cleaning a marble vase.

"I hate these fucking suits. They're so boring. No style. No style at all!!" Remy groaned out while tying their husband's tie because he'd been a spy for 7 years now and he still couldn't tie a tie.

Patton nodded along in sympathy "Very gay of you to think that" The duke chuckled.

They fixed his shirt which had been buttoned wrong "I don't think about fashion because I am gay as fuck! I think about it 'cause I've tots been the most fantastic disguiser here for years and fashion is like integral to a good disguise!! Besides my mothers are fashion legends and I gotta represent y'know"

"I know"

He handed over a gun (Handler ppk) and a few different knives to his spouse who swiftly hid it in different places on their suit. He himself preffered a bit more heavy handed attilery even when it came to handguns.

The couple followed Moneypenny out of their apartement. They lived in a normal looking apartement complex, a little bit fancier than a normal one. They went into a cleaning scrub.

Patton grabbed a mop standing in the corner. He pulled off the top of the handle revealing a scanner underneath. He pressed his thumb against it. A panel of numbers appeared on the wall. He quickly pressed in a code which finally made the inner wall open up, revealing an elevator.

They stepped inside and chit chatted about the weather and what they'd done on the weekend as the elevator went down.

The elevator opened with a satisfying ding. They were many many levels underground now. Long grey hallways stretched forward. It could be a maze for someone new to the place. Patton walked in front of the other two, he knew it like his backpocket.

After 5 or so minutes of walking he stopped by his secretary desk and sat down. There were stacks of paper work on his desk and cute animal posters hanging on the wall beside him.

Remus leaned over the desk and moved a piece of Patton's hair behind his ear "One day I'll get you on a date my dear Moneypenny"

"Sure you will mr. Octopussy. For now I think you will have to stay satisfied with taking whatever mission M gives you"

Remy took Remus' hand and dragged him with them into M's office. He was able to blow a kiss to Patton on his way in. Pat simple chuckled and rolled his eyes. They both knew neither of them were serious.

The office was an old fashioned one with walls and furniture of dark wood. Purple satin clad the windows. Plants and terrariums littered the room and all kinds of snakes slittered about.

Though the biggest snake of them all sat in the chair behind the desk. M. Most people called him Deceit. He had a menacing smile, ebony skin and dark hair pulled back into a braid that reached his shoulder. On his shoulder laid one of his most dearest and most deadliest pets.

"Look who finally decided to join us" M greeted as they came in.

"Aww you missed us so much didn't you??" Remus replied while sitting down on one of the chairs in a way no normal person should "It's okay Deecy. We can invite you to our next movie night"

"Yeah" Remy sat down on the desk and leaned close to Deceit "We're gonna watch Saw 4 and legally blond"

"I can think of much better ways to waste my time thank you. So onto ghe case. It's about-"

M stopped talking because the agents were obviously too busy flirting with each other to listen. It was nothing compared to how they used to spend entire briefings making out right when they'd started dating.

"Please if I wanted to get ignored I would go home to my children which honestly I wish I could" M muttered.

He gave one of his snakes a pat on the head before sending it to twist around Remus' neck which made them both shut up very quickly.

"So about the case. Agent 0012-"

"Like Emile Picani 0012?" Remy interrupted.

"No agent 0012 the giant whale. Yes Picani"

"Oh he's a great kisser! Babe y'know how I like worked in the Q department a bit before becoming a full fletched agent. Yeah I was Pic's quartermaster. We would stay together during missions sometimes. We made out lots and he showed me a bunch of like cartoons"

Deceit put on a more serious expression "He's gone off the radar. He was sent on a mission to Latvia together with 005. Agent 005 has been confirmed dead. Right now we're suspecting that Picani is the killer"

"He wouldn't!" Remy objected.

"We can never be sure. He could have gone rough or been paid to turn sides. Or he's being tortured right at this moment. Anything could have happened"

"I wish I was being tortured right at this moment" Remus who had completely zoned out until now added.

"Well you can gladly take his place if you found him then. He and 005 were supposed to attend a poker night. I suggest you two attend it in case he is there. Disguised of course. If he's gone rough we can't have him be hostile towards you if he recognises you.

"Non suspicious straight couple?" Remus asked while looking over at Remy.

"Non suspicious straight couple!" They replied while high fiveing him.

--

A bit over a day later later Remus was driving a silver aston martin. They were on their way to the casino which was placed away from any nearby town. Among the snowy hills the ice casino stood tall.

"Girl these shoes hurt worse than the time I got shot" Remy groaned while fixing their high heels.

"You can just change shoes y'know" Remus replied.

They looked at him as if he'd just spit in their food "No??? It's part of the character girl!! Like you can't do a great disguise if you don't dress like the character would"

"Which characters are we tonight?"

Remy shone up into a smile "Glad you asked! You are Louis Roy. French guy who inheritated his dad's company. Total asshole. Straight cis you know the type. You're 36-"

"Is that why you put all that make up on me? To make me look old?"

"Yep. And your mustache tots helped. I'm Chelsea Roy. 24. Model. Married you for the money. Housewife. I'm cheating on you with your dad"

Remus let out a fake audible gasp "In return I only married you because I liked your feet model work"

"Touche"

The car stopped in the parking lot of the casino. Remus leaned back in his seat and checked his gun. He glanced over at his spouse who was strapping a blade to their thigh.

"What?" They asked when they caught him looking.

"Nothing" There was a soft smile on his lips "I just love you. Like a giant elephants heart ripped out and bleeding on the ground love y'know"

"I know"

Remy unbuttoned the top button on Remus' tuxedo shirt. They pressed a kiss right below his shoulder, leaving a red lipstick mark, before buttoning it again so it was hidden.

"Just as a reminder" They explained with a cheeky smile.

Remy leanded against Remus' shoulder to fully look like arm candy as they entered the casino. A worker took their coats by the door. Uphead was a luxurious bar made of ice and a large area with tables here and there to mingle. To the left was the casino area. It was the only place where nothing was made out of ice. Instead glistening lights shone on red slot machines and people in expensive clothing were gathered around large poker tables. To the right was the entrance to the casino's hotel and the desk to get keys.

The couple casully went around the mingle area while looking for Picani in the crowd of hundreds of people.

"People are looking at you" Remus mumbled to them after at least 2 guys has been too busy looking at his spouse to not walk into walls.

"Who can blame them" Remy shrugged.

They had on a dark blue satin dress with an open back and a slit on the front so they could move easier. Their wavy light brown hair was pressed down under a blond wig and they had a fake sapphire necklace around their neck. Their dark eyeliner stood out against their pale skin. Remus had on a black tuxedo with a matching bowtie. His dark brown, nearly black hair had been slicked back. His olive toned bordering on brown skin honestly looked amazing in the lighting of the casino.

"Q said Picani was supposed to stay in room 235 so I'll like go and get the key while you like mingle or something I dunno. Kay?" Remy more commanded then asked.

"Yes dear! " He did a mini salute while sticking his tounge out before walking away.

All the keys to the rooms were hanging on the wall behind the desk. Remy took off their necklace while walking up to it. They fixed their posture and took a deep breathe to get ready to make their voice as high as possible.

"Exscuse me sir!" They put on a panicked tone as they walked behind the desk.

The man who presumebly worked at the hotel glanced at them before doing a double take and full on looking at them with heart eyes. "Something wrong?"

They put on a bright smile and twirled the end of their hair between their fingers "Yeah I uh just kinda dropped my necklace and it's like suuuper hard to put on by my own so could you like put it on for me? Pleease?"

"Of course!"

Remy handee him the necklace and turned towards the wall. While he was busy putting it on they took the keys to room 235 without making a single sound. In one smooth motion they stuck it to where the blade was already strapped to their thigh.

"Done!" He said.

They sent him another smile "Do I look good?"

"You look amazing!!"

"Aww thanks sweetie"

They sauntered of without another word. They took a glass of champange from a server they passed to look more casual. They inspected the key while looking for Remus. When they stuck their nails down into it a mark was left if only for a moment. It was a fake.

Remus was sitting by the poker table, loudly boosting about a made up story while betting way more money than he should. He shone up into a grin when he saw Remy. They leaned on his chair and moved one hand to comb through his hair. He moved an arm around their waist to pull them closer knowing fully well that his spouse was distracting everyone else in the poker game.

"Got the key?" He whispered.

"Got the key. It's a replica. I can see it"

"Okay so Picani has the other one. Makes sense. Now we know he's alright"

"Nah girl" Remy glanced around at the other players "Trick them into shoving their keys. Trust me"

"I always do" Remus put on a cocky smirk and leaned his elbows onto the table "Isn't this game becoming a bit boring? How about this: we all bet the amount of money our hotel rooms cost. Including the ones just for the ladies if you get me hurr hurr" He took out the key to his room he'd gotten from Q and laid it on the table "Just as a showing"

Most of the people had been drinking so they all threw up their keys without much thought. Remy subtly moved around the table and glanced at the keys while Remus continued with the game.

Remy stopped midstepped and quickly walked back to him. They made it look like they were kissing his cheek when they were actually whispering

"The mistah on the other side of the table was the one who threw the second 235 key. You know his name or do I have to like pretend flirt the ugly bastard?"

"Ron Stewart. Was real quick to introduce himself just to brag about his money"

"Good. Q can deal with like finding info about him. We gotta find Picani"

They grabbed him by his arm and dragged him up from the table. Remus made some comment about women always hurrying to the other people around the table while quickly throwing his cards away.

He took their hand in his and intertwined their fingers as they entered the hotel part. Ice chandelierd hung in the hallways and deep crimson mattresses where laid over the icy floor. He held his other hand close to where his gun holster was hidden under his jacket.

The door up to the second floor was locked. The two of them glanced at each other. Now they relly knew something was off. Remy took out 2 hairpins from their wig and unlocked the door in under 3 minutes.

The hallways were eerie and quiet. The lights were low and the sounds from the casino were now only dull faraway whispers.

Sudden footsteps were heard. Remy pressed their back against the wall and pulled Remus by his collar into a deep kiss. Out of the corner of their eye they saw a guard walk into the hallway. It was clear there was a gun hidden in a holster connected to his belt. The enby hoped he would just leave them alone if they made out hard enough. It usually worked.

When he saw them his already grumpy expression turned into a grimace. He grabbed onto Remus' shoulder and forced him out of the kiss.

"Visitors aren't allowed on the second floof" He said in a gruff voice.

"Oh come on. Whats a guy gotta do to get some privacy" Remus replied while keeping his arm around Remy's shoulder. They nodded along while blinking innocently and swaying back and forth.

The guard seemed to think for a moment. He took a step back before in a split second pulling out his gun and pointing it at them.

Remus went on instinct as he moved forward and forced the gun out of his hand. He stood like a shield in front of Remy in case it shot. The guard stumbled back as the gun was dragged out of his hands.

Remy shot forward. They dug their nails down into the guard's wrist and kicked his knee to get him off his balance. With a huff they turned around and with the motion swung him over their shoulder and down on the ground. Before he even had time to regain his breathe they kicked their foot onto his neck, knocking him out instantly.

"Should keep him out for long enough" They commented while leaning down to feel his pulse.

"I love it when you do that sudden kissy thing. I wish murderous people would walk in on us more so you'd do it more often" Remus replied.

"Babe you can literally ask me to kiss you whenever"

"It's not the same if the threat of death isn't looming over us!!" Remus did an overexagarated pout.

Remy stood up and moved the blade on their thigh to their hand "Leave that to when we've found Picani" They said while continuing into the next hallway.

Remus quickly followed them, even walking a bit before them so if another guard showed up they would shoot at him first. "So eager to see him huh?"

"Duh. He was like the closest thing I had to a boyfriend before I met you. Like sure we were never official but we kissed and did all that sorta couplesy stuff. I haven't seen him like years! I wanna catch up y'know"

"Do I have to be afraid of being replaced" Remus joked.

They bumped against his shoulder "Babe neva!"

He was about to reply with something lovey dovey but the conversation immediatly stopped as they both saw it. Room 235. The door stood slightly open.

They moved silently, weapons in hand. Remy was the first in. They looked around with urgency in their eyes. They searched through the entrance before going into the bedroom. Remus checked the bathroom but there wasn't a trace of him. No traces of other people either.

A sudden choked back sob came from the bedroom. Remus ran to it while holding back the urge to yell out his lover's name.

Remy stood with shaking shoulders by the door. On the floor with his back leaned against the bed sat Emile Picani. Dead.

#not countdown #live and let die #reblogs over likes #(but likes are still very appreciated) #sanders sides #thomas sanders #remy sanders #remus sanders #ts remy #ts remus #janus sanders #ts janus #ts patton #patton sanders #resleep #remsleep #intrusleep #rem^2 #if this flops I will jump off a bridge #/j

[silent-era-of-cinema]

William Henry Pratt (23 November 1887 – 2 February 1969), better known by his stage name Boris Karloff was an English actor who was primarily known for his roles in horror films. He portrayed Frankenstein's monster in Frankenstein (1931), Bride of Frankenstein (1935) and Son of Frankenstein (1939). He also appeared as Imhotep in The Mummy (1932).

In non-horror roles, he is best known to modern audiences for narrating and as the voice of the Grinch in the animated television special of Dr. Seuss' How the Grinch Stole Christmas! (1966). For his contribution to film and television, Karloff was awarded two stars on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.

Karloff was born William Henry Pratt on 23 November 1887,[2] at 36 Forest Hill Road, Dulwich, Surrey (now London), England. His parents were Edward John Pratt, Jr. and Eliza Sarah Millard. His brother, Sir John Thomas Pratt, was a British diplomat. Edward John Pratt, Jr. was an Anglo-Indian, from a British father and Indian mother, while Karloff's mother also had some Indian ancestry, thus Karloff had a relatively dark complexion that differed from his peers at the time. His mother's maternal aunt was Anna Leonowens, whose tales about life in the royal court of Siam (now Thailand) were the basis of the musical The King and I. Pratt was bow-legged, had a lisp, and stuttered as a young boy.[7] He learned how to manage his stutter, but not his lisp, which was noticeable throughout his career in the film industry.

Pratt spent his childhood years in Enfield, in the County of Middlesex. He was the youngest of nine children, and following his mother's death was brought up by his elder siblings. He received his early education at Enfield Grammar School, and later at the public schools of Uppingham School and Merchant Taylors' School. After this, he attended King's College London where he took studies aimed at a career with the British Government's Consular Service. However, in 1909, he left university without graduating and drifted, departing England for Canada, where he worked as a farm labourer and did various odd itinerant jobs until happening upon acting.

Pratt began appearing in theatrical performances in Canada, and during this period he chose Boris Karloff as his stage name. Some have theorised that he took the stage name from a mad scientist character in the novel The Drums of Jeopardy called "Boris Karlov". However, the novel was not published until 1920, at least eight years after Karloff had been using the name on stage and in silent films, opening the possibility that the Karlov character might have been named after Karloff after the novel's author noticed it in a cast listing and liked the sound of it rather than simply being a coincidence. Warner Oland played "Boris Karlov" in a film version in 1931. Another possible influence was thought to be a character in the Edgar Rice Burroughs fantasy novel H. R. H. The Rider which features a "Prince Boris of Karlova", but as the novel was not published until 1915, the influence may be backward, that Burroughs saw Karloff in a play and adapted the name for the character. Karloff always claimed he chose the first name "Boris" because it sounded foreign and exotic, and that "Karloff" was a family name (from Karlov—in Cyrillic, Карлов—a name found in several Slavic countries, including Russia, Ukraine and Bulgaria).

Karloff's daughter, Sara, publicly denied any knowledge of Slavic forebears, "Karloff" or otherwise. One reason for the name change was to prevent embarrassment to his family. Whether or not his brothers (all dignified members of the British Foreign Service) actually considered young William the "black sheep of the family" for having become an actor, Karloff apparently worried they felt that way. He did not reunite with his family until he returned to Britain to make The Ghoul (1933), extremely worried that his siblings would disapprove of his new, macabre claim to world fame. Instead, his brothers jostled for position around him and happily posed for publicity photographs. After the photo was taken, Karloff's brothers immediately started asking about getting a copy of their own. The story of the photo became one of Karloff's favorites.

Karloff joined the Jeanne Russell Company in 1911 and performed in towns like Kamloops (British Columbia) and Prince Albert (Saskatchewan). After the devastating tornado in Regina on 30 June 1912, Karloff and other performers helped with clean-up efforts. He later took a job as a railway baggage handler and joined the Harry St. Clair Co. that performed in Minot, North Dakota, for a year in an opera house above a hardware store.

Whilst he was trying to establish his acting career, Karloff had to perform years of manual labour in Canada and the U.S. in order to make ends meet. He was left with back problems from which he suffered for the rest of his life. Because of his health, he did not enlist in World War I.

During this period, Karloff worked in various theatrical stock companies across the U.S. to hone his acting skills. Some acting companies mentioned were the Harry St. Clair Players and the Billie Bennett Touring Company. By early 1918 he was working with the Maud Amber Players in Vallejo, California, but because of the Spanish Flu outbreak in the San Francisco area and the fear of infection, the troupe was disbanded. He was able to find work with the Haggerty Repertory for a while (according to the 1973 obituary of Joseph Paul Haggerty, he and Boris Karloff remained lifelong friends). According to Karloff, in his first film he appeared as an extra in a crowd scene for a Frank Borzage picture at Universal for which he received $5; the title of this film has never been traced.

Once Karloff arrived in Hollywood, he made dozens of silent films, but this work was sporadic, and he often had to take up manual labour such as digging ditches or delivering construction plaster to earn a living.

His first on screen role was in a film serial, The Lightning Raider (1919) with Pearl White. He was in another serial, The Masked Rider (1919), the first of his appearances to survive.

Karloff could also be seen in His Majesty, the American (1919) with Douglas Fairbanks, The Prince and Betty (1919), The Deadlier Sex (1920), and The Courage of Marge O'Doone (1920). He played an Indian in The Last of the Mohicans (1920) and he would often be cast as an Arab or Indian in his early films.

Karloff's first major role came in a film serial, The Hope Diamond Mystery (1920). He was Indian in Without Benefit of Clergy (1921) and an Arab in Cheated Hearts (1921) and villainous in The Cave Girl (1921). He was a maharajah in The Man from Downing Street (1922), a Nabob in The Infidel (1922) and had roles in The Altar Stairs (1922), Omar the Tentmaker (1922) (as an Imam), The Woman Conquers (1922), The Gentleman from America (1923), The Prisoner (1923) and the serial Riders of the Plains (1923).

Karloff did a Western, The Hellion (1923), and a drama, Dynamite Dan (1924). He could be seen in Parisian Nights (1925), Forbidden Cargo (1925), The Prairie Wife (1925) and the serial Perils of the Wild (1925).

Karloff went back to bit part status in Never the Twain Shall Meet (1925) directed by Maurice Tourneur but he had a good support role in Lady Robinhood (1925).

Karloff went on to be in The Greater Glory (1926), Her Honor, the Governor (1926), The Bells (1926) (as a mesmerist), The Nickel-Hopper (1926), The Golden Web (1926), The Eagle of the Sea (1926), Flames (1926), Old Ironsides (1926), Flaming Fury (1926), Valencia (1926), The Man in the Saddle (1926), Tarzan and the Golden Lion (1927) (as an African), Let It Rain (1927), The Meddlin' Stranger (1927), The Princess from Hoboken (1927), The Phantom Buster (1927), and Soft Cushions (1927).

Karloff had roles in Two Arabian Knights (1927), The Love Mart (1927), The Vanishing Rider (1928) (a serial), Burning the Wind (1928), Vultures of the Sea (1928), and The Little Wild Girl (1928).

He was in The Devil's Chaplain (1929), The Fatal Warning (1929) for Richard Thorpe, The Phantom of the North (1929), Two Sisters (1929), Anne Against the World (1929), Behind That Curtain (1929), and The King of the Kongo (1929), a serial directed by Thorpe.

Karloff had an uncredited bit part in The Unholy Night (1930) directed by Lionel Barrymore, and bigger parts in The Bad One (1930),The Sea Bat (1930) (directed by Barrymore), and The Utah Kid (1930) directed by Thorpe.

A film which brought Karloff recognition was The Criminal Code (1931), a prison drama directed by Howard Hawks in which he reprised a dramatic part he had played on stage. In the same period, Karloff had a small role as a mob boss in Hawks' gangster film Scarface, but the film was not released until 1932 because of difficult censorship issues.

He did another serial for Thorpe, King of the Wild (1931), then had support parts in Cracked Nuts (1931), Young Donovan's Kid (1931), Smart Money (1931), The Public Defender (1931), I Like Your Nerve (1931), and Graft (1931).

Another significant role in the autumn of 1931 saw Karloff play a key supporting part as an unethical newspaper reporter in Five Star Final, a film about tabloid journalism which was nominated for the Academy Award for Best Picture.

He could also be seen in The Yellow Ticket (1931) The Mad Genius (1931), The Guilty Generation (1931) and Tonight or Never (1931).

Karloff acted in eighty movies before being found by James Whale and cast in Frankenstein (1931). Karloff's role as Frankenstein's monster was physically demanding – it necessitated a bulky costume with four-inch platform boots – but the costume and extensive makeup produced a lasting image. The costume was a job in itself for Karloff with the shoes weighing 11 pounds (5.0 kg) each.[13] Universal Studios quickly copyrighted the makeup design for the Frankenstein monster that Jack P. Pierce had created.

It took a while for Karloff's stardom to be established with the public – he had small roles in Behind the Mask (1932), Business and Pleasure (1932) and The Miracle Man (1932).

As receipts for Frankenstein and Scarface flooded in, Universal gave Karloff third billing in Night World (1932), with Lew Ayres, Mae Clarke and George Raft.

Karloff was reunited with Whale at Universal for The Old Dark House (1932), a horror movie based on the novel Benighted by J.B. Priestley, in which he finally enjoyed top billing above Melvyn Douglas, Charles Laughton, Raymond Massey and Gloria Stuart. He was loaned to MGM to play the titular role in The Mask of Fu Manchu (also 1932), for which he gained top billing.

Back at Universal, he was cast as Imhotep who is revived in The Mummy (1932). It was as successful at the box-office as the other two films and Karloff was now established as a star of horror films.

Karloff returned to England to star in The Ghoul (1933), then made a non-horror film for John Ford, The Lost Patrol (1934), where his performance was highly acclaimed.

Karloff was third billed in the Twentieth Century Pictures historical film The House of Rothschild (1934) with George Arliss, which was highly popular.

Horror, however, had now become Karloff's primary genre, and he gave a string of lauded performances in Universal's horror films, including several with Bela Lugosi, his main rival as heir to Lon Chaney's status as the leading horror film star. While the long-standing, creative partnership between Karloff and Lugosi never led to a close friendship, it produced some of the actors' most revered and enduring productions, beginning with The Black Cat (1934) and continuing with Gift of Gab (1934), in which both had cameos. Karloff reprised the role of Frankenstein's monster in Bride of Frankenstein (1935) for James Whale. Then he and Lugosi were reunited for The Raven (1935).

For Columbia, Karloff made The Black Room (1935) then he returned to Universal for The Invisible Ray (1936) with Lugosi, more a science fiction film. Karloff was then cast in a Warner Bros. horror film, The Walking Dead (1936).

Because the Motion Picture Production Code (known as the Hays Code) began to be seriously enforced in 1934, horror films suffered a decline in the second half of the 1930s. Karloff worked in other genres, making two films in Britain, Juggernaut (1936) and The Man Who Changed His Mind (1936).

He returned to Hollywood to play a supporting role in Charlie Chan at the Opera (1936) then did a science fiction film, Night Key (1937).

At Warners, he did two films with John Farrow, playing a Chinese warlord in West of Shanghai (1937) and a murder suspect in The Invisible Menace (1938).

Karloff went to Monogram to play the title role of a Chinese detective in Mr. Wong, Detective (1938), which led to a series. Karloff's portrayal of the character is an example of Hollywood's use of yellowface and its portrayal of East Asians in the earlier half of the 20th century. He had another heroic role in Devil's Island (1939).

Universal found reissuing Dracula and Frankenstein led to success at the box-office and began to produce horror films again starting with Son of Frankenstein (1939). Karloff reprised his role, with Lugosi co starring as Ygor and Basil Rathbone as Frankenstein.

After The Mystery of Mr. Wong (1939) and Mr. Wong in Chinatown (1939) he signed a three-picture deal with Columbia, starting with The Man They Could Not Hang (1939). Karloff returned to Universal to make Tower of London (1939) with Rathbone, playing the murderous henchman of King Richard III.

Karloff made a fourth Mr Wong film at Monogram The Fatal Hour (1940). At Warners he was in British Intelligence (1940), then he went to Universal to do Black Friday (1940) with Lugosi.

Karloff's second and third films for Columbia were The Man with Nine Lives (1940) and Before I Hang (1940). In between he did a fifth and final Mr Wong film, Doomed to Die (1940).

Karloff appeared at a celebrity baseball game as Frankenstein's monster in 1940, hitting a gag home run and making catcher Buster Keaton fall into an acrobatic dead faint as the monster stomped into home plate.

Karloff finished a six picture commitment with Monogram with The Ape (1940). He and Lugosi appeared in a comedy at RKO, You'll Find Out (1941), then he went to Columbia for The Devil Commands (1941) and The Boogie Man Will Get You (1941).

An enthusiastic performer, he returned to the Broadway stage in the original production of Arsenic and Old Lace in 1941, in which he played a homicidal gangster enraged to be frequently mistaken for Karloff. Frank Capra cast Raymond Massey in the 1944 film, which was shot in 1941, while Karloff was still appearing in the role on Broadway. The play's producers allowed the film to be made conditionally: it was not to be released until the production closed. (Karloff reprised his role on television in the anthology series The Best of Broadway (1955), and with Tony Randall and Tom Bosley in a 1962 production on the Hallmark Hall of Fame. He also starred in a radio adaptation produced by Screen Guild Theatre in 1946.)

In 1944, he underwent a spinal operation to relieve a chronic arthritic condition.

Karloff returned to film roles in The Climax (1944), an unsuccessful attempt to repeat the success of Phantom of the Opera (1943). More liked was House of Frankenstein (1944), where Karloff played the villainous Dr. Niemann and the monster was played by Glenn Strange.

Karloff made three films for producer Val Lewton at RKO: The Body Snatcher (1945), his last teaming with Lugosi, Isle of the Dead (1945) and Bedlam (1946).

In a 1946 interview with Louis Berg of the Los Angeles Times, Karloff discussed his arrangement with RKO, working with Lewton and his reasons for leaving Universal. Karloff left Universal because he thought the Frankenstein franchise had run its course; the entries in the series after Son of Frankenstein were B-pictures. Berg wrote that the last installment in which Karloff appeared—House of Frankenstein—was what he called a " 'monster clambake,' with everything thrown in—Frankenstein, Dracula, a hunchback and a 'man-beast' that howled in the night. It was too much. Karloff thought it was ridiculous and said so." Berg explained that the actor had "great love and respect for" Lewton, who was "the man who rescued him from the living dead and restored, so to speak, his soul."

Horror films experienced a decline in popularity after the war, and Karloff found himself working in other genres.

For the Danny Kaye comedy, The Secret Life of Walter Mitty (1947), Karloff appeared in a brief but starring role as Dr. Hugo Hollingshead, a psychiatrist. Director Norman Z. McLeod shot a sequence with Karloff in the Frankenstein monster make-up, but it was deleted from the finished film.

Karloff appeared in a film noir, Lured (1947), and as an Indian in Unconquered (1947). He had support roles in Dick Tracy Meets Gruesome (1947), Tap Roots (1948), and Abbott and Costello Meet the Killer, Boris Karloff.

During this period, Karloff was a frequent guest on radio programmes, whether it was starring in Arch Oboler's Chicago-based Lights Out productions (including the episode "Cat Wife") or spoofing his horror image with Fred Allen or Jack Benny. In 1949, he was the host and star of Starring Boris Karloff, a radio and television anthology series for the ABC broadcasting network.

He appeared as the villainous Captain Hook in Peter Pan in a 1950 stage musical adaptation which also featured Jean Arthur.

Karloff returned to horror films with The Strange Door (1951) and The Black Castle (1952).

He was nominated for a Tony Award for his work opposite Julie Harris in The Lark, by the French playwright Jean Anouilh, about Joan of Arc, which was reprised on Hallmark Hall of Fame.

During the 1950s, he appeared on British television in the series Colonel March of Scotland Yard, in which he portrayed John Dickson Carr's fictional detective Colonel March, who was known for solving apparently impossible crimes. Christopher Lee appeared alongside Karloff in the episode "At Night, All Cats are Grey" broadcast in 1955.[17] A little later, Karloff co-starred with Lee in the film Corridors of Blood (1958).

Karloff appeared in Abbott and Costello Meet Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (1952) and visited Italy for The Island Monster (1954) and India for Sabaka (1954).

Karloff, along with H. V. Kaltenborn, was a regular panelist on the NBC game show, Who Said That? which aired between 1948 and 1955. Later, as a guest on NBC's The Gisele MacKenzie Show, Karloff sang "Those Were the Good Old Days" from Damn Yankees while Gisele MacKenzie performed the solo, "Give Me the Simple Life". On The Red Skelton Show, Karloff guest starred along with actor Vincent Price in a parody of Frankenstein, with Red Skelton as "Klem Kadiddle Monster". He served as host and frequent star of the anthology series The Veil (1958) which was never broadcast due to financial problems at the producing studio; the complete series was rediscovered in the 1990s.

Karloff made some horror films in the late 1950s: Voodoo Island (1957), The Haunted Strangler (1958), Frankenstein 1970 (1958) (as the Baron), and Corridors of Blood (1958). In the "mad scientist" role in Frankenstein 1970 as Baron Victor von Frankenstein II, the grandson of the original creator. In the finale, it is revealed that the crippled Baron has given his own face to the monster. Karloff donned the monster make-up for the last time in 1962 for a Halloween episode of the TV series Route 66, which also featured Peter Lorre and Lon Chaney, Jr.

During this period, he hosted and acted in a number of television series, including Thriller and Out of This World.

Karloff appeared in Black Sabbath (1963) directed by Mario Bava. He made The Raven (1963) for Roger Corman and American International Pictures (AIP). Corman used Karloff in The Terror (1963) playing a baron who murdered his wife. He made a cameo in AIP's Bikini Beach (1964) and had a bigger role in that studio's The Comedy of Terrors (1964), directed by Jacques Tourneur and Die, Monster, Die! (1965). British actress Suzan Farmer, who played his daughter in the film, later recalled Karloff was aloof during production "and wasn’t the charming personality people perceived him to be".

In 1966, Karloff also appeared with Robert Vaughn and Stefanie Powers in the spy series The Girl from U.N.C.L.E., in the episode "The Mother Muffin Affair," Karloff performed in drag as the titular character.

That same year, he also played an Indian Maharajah on the installment of the adventure series The Wild Wild West titled "The Night of the Golden Cobra".

In 1967, he played an eccentric Spanish professor who believes himself to be Don Quixote in a whimsical episode of I Spy titled "Mainly on the Plains".

Karloff's last film for AIP was The Ghost in the Invisible Bikini (1967).

In the mid-1960s, he enjoyed a late-career surge in the United States when he narrated the made-for-television animated film of Dr. Seuss' How the Grinch Stole Christmas, and also provided the voice of the Grinch, although the song "You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch" was sung by the American voice actor Thurl Ravenscroft. The film was first broadcast on CBS-TV in 1966. Karloff later received a Grammy Award for "Best Recording For Children" after the recording was commercially released. Because Ravenscroft (who never met Karloff in the course of their work on the show) was uncredited for his contribution to How the Grinch Stole Christmas!, his performance of the song was often mistakenly attributed to Karloff.

He appeared in Mad Monster Party? (1967) and starred in the second feature film of the British director Michael Reeves,The Sorcerers (1966).

Karloff starred in Targets (1968), a film directed by Peter Bogdanovich, featuring two separate stories that converge into one. In one, a disturbed young man kills his family, then embarks on a killing spree. In the other, a famous horror-film actor contemplates then confirms his retirement, agreeing to one last appearance at a drive-in cinema. Karloff starred as the retired horror film actor, Byron Orlok, a thinly disguised version of himself; Orlok was facing an end of life crisis, which he resolved through a confrontation with the gunman at the drive-in cinema.

Around the same time, he played occult expert Professor Marsh in a British production titled The Crimson Cult (Curse of the Crimson Altar, also 1968), which was the last Karloff film to be released during his lifetime.

He ended his career by appearing in four low-budget Mexican horror films: Isle of the Snake People, The Incredible Invasion, Fear Chamber and House of Evil. This was a package deal with Mexican producer Luis Enrique Vergara. Karloff's scenes were directed by Jack Hill and shot back-to-back in Los Angeles in the spring of 1968. The films were then completed in Mexico. All four were released posthumously, with the last, The Incredible Invasion, not released until 1971, two years after Karloff's death. Cauldron of Blood, shot in Spain in 1967 and co-starring Viveca Lindfors, was also released after Karloff's death.

While shooting his final films, Karloff suffered from emphysema. Only half of one lung was still functioning and he required oxygen between takes.

He recorded the title role of Shakespeare's Cymbeline for the Shakespeare Recording Society (Caedmon Audio). The recording was originally released in 1962. A download of his performance is available from audible.com. He also recorded the narration for Sergei Prokofiev's Peter and the Wolf with the Vienna State Opera Orchestra under Mario Rossi.

Records he made for the children's market included Three Little Pigs and Other Fairy Stories, Tales of the Frightened (volume 1 and 2), Rudyard Kipling's Just So Stories and, with Cyril Ritchard and Celeste Holm, Mother Goose Nursery Rhymes, and Lewis Carroll's The Hunting of the Snark.

Karloff was credited for editing several horror anthologies, commencing with Tales of Terror (Cleveland and NY: World Publishing Co, 1943) (compiled with the help of Edmond Speare). This wartime-published anthology went through at least five printings to September 1945. It has been reprinted recently (Orange NJ: Idea Men, 2007). Karloff's name was also attached to And the Darkness Falls (Cleveland and NY: World Publishing Co, 1946); and The Boris Karloff Horror Anthology (London: Souvenir Press, 1965; simultaneous publication in Canada - Toronto: The Ryerson Press; US pbk reprint NY: Avon Books, 1965 retitled as Boris Karloff's Favourite Horror Stories; UK pbk reprints London: Corgi, 1969 and London: Everest, 1975, both under the original title), though it is less clear whether Karloff himself actually edited these.

Tales of the Frightened (Belmont Books, 1963), though based on the recordings by Karloff of the same title, and featuring his image on the book cover, contained stories written by Michael Avallone; the second volume, More Tales of the Frightened, contained stories authored by Robert Lory. Both Avallone and Lory worked closely with Canadian editor and book packager Lyle Kenyon Engel, who also ghost-edited a horror story anthology for horror film star Basil Rathbone.

Beginning in 1940, Karloff dressed as Father Christmas every Christmas to hand out presents to physically disabled children in a Baltimore hospital.

He never legally changed his name to "Boris Karloff." He signed official documents "William H. Pratt, a.k.a. Boris Karloff."

He was a charter member of the Screen Actors Guild, and he was especially outspoken due to the long hours he spent in makeup while playing Frankenstein's Monster.

He married six times and had one child, daughter Sara Karloff, by fifth wife Dorothy Stine. His final marriage was in 1946 right after his fifth divorce. At the time of his daughter's birth, he was filming Son of Frankenstein and reportedly rushed from the film set to the hospital while still in full makeup.

He was an early member of the Hollywood Cricket Club.

Upon returning to England in 1959, his address was 43 Cadogan Square, London. In 1966, he bought 25 Campden House (in 29 Sheffield Terrace), Kensington W8, and 'Roundabout Cottage' in the Hampshire village of Bramshott. A longtime heavy smoker, he had emphysema which left him with only half of one lung still functioning. He contracted bronchitis in 1968 and was hospitalised at University College Hospital. He died of pneumonia at the King Edward VII Hospital, Midhurst, in Sussex, on 2 February 1969, at the age of 81.

His body was cremated following a requested modest service at Guildford Crematorium, Godalming, Surrey, where he is commemorated by a plaque in the Garden of Remembrance. A memorial service was held at St Paul's, Covent Garden (the Actors' Church), London, where there is also a plaque.

During the run of Thriller, Karloff lent his name and likeness to a comic book for Gold Key Comics based upon the series. After Thriller was cancelled, the comic was retitled Boris Karloff's Tales of Mystery. An illustrated likeness of Karloff continued to introduce each issue of this publication for more than a decade after his death; the comic lasted until the early 1980s. In 2009, Dark Horse Comics began publishing reprints of Boris Karloff's Tales of Mystery in a hard-bound edition.

For his contribution to film and television, Boris Karloff was awarded two stars on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, at 1737 Vine Street for motion pictures, and 6664 Hollywood Boulevard for television.[36] Karloff was featured by the U.S. Postal Service as Frankenstein's Monster and the Mummy in its series "Classic Monster Movie Stamps" issued in September 1997. In 1998, an English Heritage blue plaque was unveiled in his hometown in London. The British film magazine Empire in 2016 ranked Karloff's portrayal as Frankenstein's monster the sixth-greatest horror movie character of all time.

On June 25, 2019, The New York Times Magazine listed Boris Karloff among hundreds of artists whose material was reportedly destroyed in the 2008 Universal fire.

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