#benny and his many dads say gay rights

[deancashorrorfest]

Step right up to another wondrous round of DeanCas Horrorfest! The writers and the artists have collaborated to make this year one for the history books. We've got ghouls, we've got monsters, we've got blood, we've got gay love --- And when I say you shouldn't miss this, I mean you really don't want to miss this collection of spooky stories... you really don't know what could happen if you do 🤡🔪 I'd like to thank all our contributors for keeping the spirit of samhain alive and well. DeanCas Horrorfest would be nothing without enthusiastic cult members participants like you. ❤ So, without further ado...

You Better Not Stay || Rated E

story by @friendofcarlotta with art by @demeters-sketchbook

Recent high school graduates Dean Winchester and Castiel Novak have been friends since childhood, and dating in secret for a little over a year. But their relationship has an expiration date: Cas is leaving town, and Dean… well, Dean isn’t. Not with his dad breathing down his neck and a family business to run. 

For their final date, Dean takes Cas to the old skating rink where they used to spend time as kids. What Dean doesn’t know is that when the rink closed down, something else took up residence there. And it won’t let them go without a fight. Link to Fic || Link to Art

The (After) Life of the Party || Rated M

story by @thebatmandiaries with art by @milfycas

After a fight with Sam one night, Dean wakes up in a world he is unfamiliar with. This world only has one rule: kill or be killed. As a designated Killer, he must kill all the Survivors before they have a chance to complete their task. If he doesn’t, he ruins the risk of becoming a Survivor himself. With the help of Charlie and Benny, other Killers, he slowly finds his footing in the new world he was thrust into. If only there wasn’t a strange blue eyed man to distract him… Link to Fic || Link to Art

Danger In The Mirror || Rated M

story by @dwinchester1979 with art by @keikakudom

Castiel is pulled through the mirror into a nightmare. Now his husband has to cover for his mysterious missing presence as he desperately tries to get Castiel back. Can they figure out the secret of the mirror before time runs out, or will Castiel have to face the girl with the silver dagger all alone?  Link to Fic || Link to Art

The Beginning || Rated E

story by @valleydean with art by @hawkland

One year ago, soon after Lucifer was freed from the Cage, Dean and Sam parted ways. Since then, Dean has been hunting on his own and, along with Cas despite his declining grace, searching for a way to prevent the apocalypse. When the outbreak of the Croatoan virus begins, Dean and Cas head to Bobby’s to plan their next move. On the way, as the contagion rapidly spreads through America, they must contend with the rabid infected, martial law, and humans who will do anything to ensure their own survival. Link to Fic || Link to Art

Clutch || Rated M

story by @dogfishmonger with art by @dolgoyangi

Dean is a normal, stable man in his 20s: He has a job. He has a boyfriend of three years, even if they're on the rocks. He has a little brother in pre-law. There are, simultaneously, things in his upbringing that he simply isn't supposed to question: His father's unexplained, undefined trips out of state. His mother's death. The body he once found in the basement. When Sam runs off in search of answers, Dean and Cas head east to find him. But after catching up with him, something's... different. Wrong. Dean and Cas are at odds—again—with Dean believing that Sam could be in danger, and Cas suspicious that Sam is the danger. Returning to normalcy will involve more digging into forbidden territory than Dean was ever prepared for. In the end, he doesn't even know if it was worth it. They're left with just as many questions as answers, and the answers they do have are ugly, insidious things, glistening oil-spill black and undulating. Link to Fic || Link to Art

The Void Within || Rated E

story by @preetkiran1016 with art by @sketcheun

Dean's still getting used to the ache of loss and grief burning a hole into his chest. Still not used to the empty space where his brothers used to be. His life is a day to day drudgery, the eternal crawl, and since Cas broke up with him, he's not quite sure what he's got left to stick around for. When Jack and Claire go missing, well, he can't just sit back and watch. Digging deeper, Dean finds himself caught in the middle of a complicated web he can't hope to begin to untangle. Missing Kids, Doomsday Cults, and the sudden return of Castiel in his life have Dean spiraling, even with his trusted Service Dog, Miracle, by his side. But the one question remains, above all others- Who were the Men of Letters, and what were they doing in Lawrence? Dean doesn't think he's going to like the answer. Link to Fic || Link to Art

The Crawling Dark || Rated T

story by @sylvanfreckles with art by @cactus-79

Dean was hoping for a straightforward case, something that would let him and Castiel have a little private time together. But what they found in the caves beneath Delving, Colorado was a stinking labyrinth of a death and decay, with an ancient horror at its heart. At the mercy of the darkness around them, Dean and Castiel must face a creature of immeasurable strength and insatiable hunger, with light as their only salvation. After all, it is better to light a candle than to curse the crawling dark. Link to Fic || Link to Art

Apres Moi, Le Deluge || Rated M

story by @folkbloodbaths with art by @an-android-in-a-tutu

Dean and Sam are on a camping trip, and they haven’t been home in a few days. When a sudden rainstorm and an injured ankle have them seeking shelter, an abandoned ranger’s cabin offers an unexpected port in the storm. Except, the abandoned cabin isn’t abandoned. Is its occupant, Castiel, just a recluse, or is he someone — or something — more sinister? Dean can’t help but feel drawn to him, even as he begins to have strange and terrible dreams about rising flood waters and a canopy of billowing black wings. And still, the rain continues to fall. Link to Fic || Link to Art (cw for flashing gif)

For Crying Out Loud || Rated M

story by @rowanspn with art by @solstheimart

Their relationship is perfect. At least, it was once. After a harrowing rescue from the depth of the Empty, a heartfelt reunion, and a breath of reciprocation, Castiel and Dean started to live life as they deserved. However, every Winchester knows that happiness does not stay long, not for that bloodline anyway. One night, following a fight worse than ever before, a terrible accident rips Castiel's life, and heart, in two. The guilt threatens to consume him but there is something far darker hiding in the shadows of his home. Will Castiel find a way to survive the ache in his chest or will the evil within his lonely walls kill him before it gets the chance? Link to Fic || Link to Art

Shall We Begin Again? || Rated E

story by @livingonaprayerstiel with art by @blanchescarlettm

Castiel is rescued from the Empty and wants to pick up where he left off with Dean. But, it is soon revealed that the Empty is not as gone as it seems. Castiel will have to find out who or what can be trusted as he acclimates to his new life. Link to Fic || Link to Art

Tenebrous || Rated E

story by @deancodedcastielenby with art by @hawkland

The war is over, Chuck is done and it's now the time where the Winchesters get peace... or is it. The war against God may be over, but that doesn't mean smooth sailing. Jack promises to be hands off, but there is a storm coming almost 12 years in the making. Sam knows something is wrong with Dean, it started out small, but now.... now it's become a problem so he enlists the aid of Rowena and Eileen, the only ones he can count on, to help him solve the mystery of Dean Winchester before its too late. Link to Fic || Link to Art

Conversion || Rated E

story by @bleuzombie with art by @nickelkeep

In order to avoid a jail sentence trans man Dean agrees to attend religious-based residential treatment for 90 days. Dean fights to maintain his sense of self as he is attacked mentally, and physically, and fights to protect his new friends Charlie and Castiel. Soon the treatment turns to torture. Jail would have been preferable. Link to Fic || Link to Art

The Elevator Game || Rated E

story by @motherofdragonflies with art by @xfancyfranart

The game is simple. Get in an elevator, and follow the rules. If you follow them correctly, the elevator will rise and when the doors open, they will open onto a world that is not your own. When his brother goes missing after investigating the death of a teenage girl in a hotel in St. Louis, Dean Winchester is dismayed to discover it involved an internet legend called “the Elevator Game”. He’s even more dismayed when Castiel—who walked away weeks ago and hasn’t been returning Dean’s calls—shows up, also looking for Sam. Dean doesn’t want to work with Castiel, and Castiel doesn’t seem thrilled about working with him, either. Can they put their differences aside when they discover that Sam disappeared after playing the Elevator Game? Will Dean and Castiel play the game and travel to the Other World themselves? Will they find Sam before it's too late? The choice, dear reader, is yours. You are in control of the story. But choose wisely, for once you play the Elevator Game, things may never be the same again. Link to Fic || Link to Art

Like Ivy || Rated E

story by @abi-cosmos with art by @soloarcana

Dean Winchester was raised to be a killer, but after losing his brother Sam, he could do with a chance to lay low and rest up. Luckily, a 'roommate wanted' advertisement stuck to the window of a coffee shop leads him to Castiel, a professor at a local college who offers him three weeks' accommodation. At first, Castiel gets under Dean's skin, but they soon develop a friendship within the isolated house they're living in. Despite how haunted he is by his past, or how Castiel seems able to read his mind, Dean feels drawn to him and can't help but take things further. But Dean isn't the only one with secrets, and the line between friendship, love, and obsession gets bloody and blurry. Link to Fic || Link to Art

Rough Trade || Rated E

story by @squirrelofcelestialintent with art by @alicetallula

Dean is used to doing what he has to in order to get by, especially whenever his tough, temperamental father kicks him out during one of his rages. Even if it means getting on his knees for a little extra cash. He can take care of himself. He always knew the dangers of a trick going sideways, and he accepted it. What he didn’t expect was for someone to burst out of the darkness and save his sorry ass. Least of all a weird, nerdy little dude who seems to have just as many secrets as Dean and doesn’t know how to use a vending machine. Dean has street smarts and Castiel has (a little) cash. They’re both headed for the west coast to find their families. Teaming up seems like a safe bet. But the more time Dean spends with Cas, the weirder he seems. And the more he suspects that what he saw Cas do to his attacker on the day that he saved him - the terrible, inhuman thing - wasn’t a trauma induced hallucination after all. Screw it. With someone on their tail, Dean’s going to find out who his real enemies are soon enough. Link to Fic || Link to Art

Autumn Obscurum || Rated M

story by @xiejie-liubo with art by @hawaii-shirt-queer

Bartholomew's Bend is a quiet, ordinary place where ordinary people live their ordinary lives. Nothing of note ever happens, and all of the citizens are content to keep it that way. However, their tranquility is shattered when a series of disappearances startles the town's denizens, coinciding with the arrival of the Carnivale Obscurum and its proprietors, Asmodeus and Sands. Inspired by Ray Bradbury's Something Wicked This Way Comes Link to Fic || Link to Art

Can You See Me? || Rated T

story by @kingdumbass with art by @ephemerastardust

Sioux Falls, South Dakota. 1995. After being stowed with their Uncle Bobby for the foreseeable future, Dean and Sam set out to make the most of their summer ‘vacation’. When they aren’t filling warm afternoons splashing in the creek, riding their bicycles, or suffering through old TV reruns, they’re in for cleanup duty.  Namely, sorting through all of Bobby’s old crap.  One day, while rummaging through the long-forgotten attic, Sam discovers an antique spirit board and convinces a skeptical Dean to try summoning a spirit. The results of which turn out to be a little more supernatural than Dean bargained for. Link to Fic || Link to Art

Link to Ao3 Collection

Happy Halloween! 🎃👻

#deancashorrorfest #deancas horrorfest masterpost #destiel fic rec #happy halloween

[obsessed-small-penguin]

Leosagi/Leochi in Musicals

I have noticed that some people are putting the Epic Musical associated with ROTTMNT (Mostly revolving around Leo). I just have to say, I haven’t listened to the Epic Musical, but my God why hasn’t anyone done Leosagi in other musicals 😭. I haven’t watched many musicals, but here are some suggestions (that no one will use 💀).

Musicals That Can Fit Leosagi/Leochi

Hamilton - Historical Musical about Founding Father Alexander Hamilton

I’ve seen people using this in other fandoms. For this one it’s mostly Casey and Future Leo. But to include Usagi:

“Helpless“ - The roles technically don’t matter, but Leo could be Eliza (because he has a lot of siblings and also is blue) and Usagi could be Alexander. Usagi’s friends could be Laf, Muligan, or Laurens. Very wholesome song! It could also be reversed with Leo as Alexander. His brothers would be Laf (Donnie), Mulligan (Mikey/Raph), Laurens (Mikey/Someone Else), or Aaron (Raph/Donnie) if this was the case.

“Satisfied” - For some Angst, Leo or Usagi wouldn’t be Eliza 💀 (or if people ship Donsagi, idk the name, then this is a perfect song LOL)! Usagi could be Angelica and Leo Alexander or vise versa. (Context: Angelica and Eliza are siblings, Angelica is the oldest and likes Hamilton. However, she sees her sister Eliza likes Alex as well, so Angelica sets Eliza and Alex up and the two are getting married. Basically, a love triangle)

“Congratulations“ or “First Burn” / “Burn” - This is just to cause more Angst and rub salt over the wound to match with “Satisfied”. “Burn” is basically Eliza and Alexander breaking up because of “Say No To This” when Alex has an affair.

“Dear Theodosia“ - Can be used for the headcanon of Jotaro as Leosagi’s kid & Aaron Burr as Cassandra which would make Theodosia as Casey Jr. 

“Blow Us All Away” and “Stay Alive (Reprise)” - Used as the above. Jotaro can be Phillip (Alex and Eliza’s son). Or maybe replace the son as Casey Jr. Either way, could be a fun idea.

In The Heights - Hispanic musical with people who have a dream and struggling with identity/poverty. (Idk how to describe it).

This musical can be use for those fans who like to headcanon the Hamato children knowing Spanish. There are 2 couples in this play (Benny and Nina | Vanessa and Usnavi) that could fit Leosagi and there is a musical and a movie (I prefer movie audio since it sounds newer than the musical since that’s kinda old).

“The Club“ - Just for funsies. Leo/Usagi getting jealous that the other is gaining a lot of attention on the dance floor with other men (Imma assume Leo aka Vanessa is on the dance floor).

“Blackout” - Follows right after the previous song. Only part that would fit here is an audio most might have heard. The whole “You barely even danced with me” and then “Don’t make me laugh, I’ve been trying all night, you’ve been shaking your ass with half of the Heights”.

“When You’re Home“ - Could be wholesome with using Usagi as Benny (since there’s no confirm race) and Leo as Nina (Afro-Latino and half Japanese moment? Black Hispanic and half Japanese?).

“Sunrise“ - This is only in the musical version, but it’s so cute!! Takes place after “Blackout” where Nina and Benny found each other and stayed with each other. Nina teaches Benny some Spanish. “Well how do you say kiss me?” “Besume” “and how do you say hold me?” All of that. And also a moment where Benny is scared that Nina’s dad is going to know that Nina is with him (Nina’s dad disproves of Benny). Obviously, Leo is Nina and Benny is Usagi.

Bare: A Pop Opera - (TW: Self-harm also Drugs) Gay musical with two boys struggling in a Catholic Boarding School. They are secretly dating, but one wants the come out and the other doesn’t because of his strict father (also he has a twin).

I really recommend this musical, it might be slow but it can get you in your feels. Btw, it’s a sad musical (Trigger warning). Honestly, any songs can fit because it’s literally a gay story. Also a theater Romeo and Juliet play they are doing. A play within a musical.

“You And I“ - Listening to the lyrics ummm, Leo fits almost TOO WELL with being Jason 😂 Jason is the one with a twin named Nadia (who believes she is fat and she harms herself). Their dad is rich and Jason is the favorite sibling. Anyways, Jason is Leo and Peter is Usagi. This song is an introduction to how they are together (always being in secret and having to pull away when people are around).

“Plain Jane Fat Ass“ - Twin moment with Jason (Leo) and Nadia (Donnie). Angst or Hurt/Comfort with the two.

“Best Kept Secret“ - Self explanatory

“Ever After” - THIS SONG OMG. So Leo and Usagi are having a heated argument and it’s tense and pretty sad.

“Wedding Bells“ - Angst. Usagi imagines Leo with another person.

“See Me“ - This is gonna have to change, so Peter is trying to come out to his mother, but she is clearly trying to ignore it. So This could be Leo being Peter and Splinter being the mom.

“God Don’t Make No Trash“ - Sister Chantelle (I didn’t spell that right. Anyways this is definitely Mikey aka Dr. Feels) and Peter talking about sexuality (kinda).

I don’t know who can be considered as “Father”. Maybe Draxum or Big Mama.

“Bare“ - Hurt, no comfort between Peter and Jason.

Be More Chill - Awkward teens who are trying to be cool so they take a pill (From JAPAAAAAAN) and they are controlled kinda.

Main character, Jeremy, likes this quirky girl named Christine, so he’s trying to be cool to get with her. If you heard the audio (”I’m waiting for my porno to load”) then that’s this musical. I did see multiple Donnie animations (and a Leo) with the song “Michael In The Bathroom”. Yeah that’s this musical. Maybe Christine (Usagi), Jeremy (Leo), and Michael (Donnie).

The Idea: I included this musical mainly because the whole idea if that teenagers are trying to be cool by taking a pill that (roughly, hard to explain) has a person in their head who “helps” them be cool (in actuality, a douche or a player). With the headcanons of The Krang still in control of certain Turtles, I thought well maybe instead of inserting something like “Mind Raph”, just make the person in the head (aka a Squip) just the Krang 😂 (Same can be used for BeetleJuice The Musical)

“A Guy That I’d Kinda Be Into“ - Pretty cute song from Christine (Usagi).

“Be More Chill Pt. 1″ - Basically when the Squip comes in. Like listen and imagine the Krang behind the voices trying to manipulate people 💀

“The Pitiful Children“ - Basically a ‘world domination’ song. So just Krangs.

Heathers - Basically the movie.

This potentially fits the 2003 Leosagi more, I have no idea. At least, if we make JD Miyamoto. TW: Murders, Explosives, E.D., Suicide, Drugs/Alcohols, and attempt S.A.

“Beautiful” Or “Candy Store“ - The roles (based on colors) are Chandler (Raph), Duke (Donnie), MacAmera (Didn’t spell that right, Mikey), Kurt & Ram (The Foot Dudes? Bebop & Rocksteady), Martha (Todd? LOL), JD (Usagi).

“Meant To Be Yours” - Please, I need Psychopathic Usagi or Leo, I’ll take any 😭

Heathers: The Musical (2022), another version of the musical with some altered lyrics and added songs with a bit new style of musical form. “I Will Never Shut Up Again” - Wonderful song for Duke, would like to see an animation of Donnie (I like villain songs, lol).

“Seventeen“ - Wholesome song, hurt/comfort kinda, where Usagi and Leo are singing about having a life together (and not a life of being murderers).

I would add “Dead Girl Walking” but this fandom seems to not do much NSFW stuff with this ship, so I’ll exclude that song along with “Blue” as a suggestion.

#rottmnt #tmnt #tmnt leonardo #leo x yuichi #leochi #leoichi #Gay Leo #leo x usagi #leosagi #musicals #Idk if i should tag the musicals #I used both Yuchi and usagi because it could be interrperate both ways #if you think about it #heathers #bare a pop opera #serious listen to that musical #hamilton #miyamoto usagi #yuichi usagi #jotaro #be more chill #in the heights #suggestions or headcanons idk what to call this

[zephyrine-gale]

youre a homoculus? 😳 that’s so poggers 😳👉👈

#genshin impact #albedo #bennett #my art #benny and his many dads say gay rights #except he cant read but hes doing his best #also i gave benny a coat bc lets be real no matter how often he sets himself on fire in dragonspine #boys never gonna be warm with his disaster gay look in subzero climate #none of them look warm enough to go through dragonspine pls get a coat... #also albedo??? very pretty absolutely gorgeous pls talk me to sleep ily #adjfgjk he never actually says that hes a homunculus but I like to think #thats it that's all i'll use my brain cells for

[lightleckrereins]

Just imagine

The finale starts the very same way it did. Sam and Dean are happy and domestic and now have a dog.

They go to the pie festival where they start talking about everyone they have lost and everything they sacrificed.

They end up talking about Cas. Dean is avoiding that one final conversation.

They end up going into a hunt. There is no random season 1 vampire. After a really though fight one of the vamps stabs Dean before Sam finishes off.

Dean tries to start his “I’m dying” speech when lights start exploding. I don’t have to explain how this entrance goes.

The barn doors open and Castiel is there.

“Cas?”

“Hello Sam”

Cas starts explaining how he has been helping Jack fix heaven. He heals Dean without touching him or looking at him gay angel is mad but is not about to let Dean die like this. He turns around to leave.

“Cas wait”

Dean goes on about how he can’t just leave again.

“Look man. What you said. We were about to die and I couldn’t think”

He doesn’t confess his love right here, this man needs a while to acknowledge he has feelings but it is heavily implied.

“Just don’t leave again without letting me say something this time”

Castiel just looks at him and goes “Fine”

Cut to the long and happy epilogue montage.

They are all in the bunker, Sam comes out with a bag. Eileen is waiting in the stairs.

Sam and Dean are on a hunt. The monsters blow up. They turn around and Jack is there awkwardly saying hi.

Sam and Eileen do research together.

Dean and Cas go hunting together.

Sam proposes to Eileen. She says yes. Both on sign language.

All their living friends go to the wedding. Dean is the best man. Cas awkwardly marries them. Jack is the flower girl.

Dean Cas and the dog emerge from the impala and look onto a rebuilt Harvelle’s roadhouse only the road says Winchester’s roadhouse. They start setting up. It is Jack’s wedding present.

Eileen is clearly pregnant. She and Sam are decorating a nursery. You can see guarding signs in pastel tones and plushies with meta references.

Dean is running through a hospital, there is blood in his face. He arrives to a room to see Sam and Eileen with their new baby. The idiot ran all the way from a hunt to see his nephew.

Hunters come and go from the roadhouse. Same with Castiel between doing god stuff with Jack.

Jody and Donna go visit Sam and Eileen. The baby is wearing plaid (because what else).

Claire and Kaia are drinking with Dean. Castiel arrives. They have been getting more and more physically intimate every time we see them.

The whole family is celebrating Christmas. Jody, Donna and their girls are there. Same for Charlie and her gf. Bobby is playing with Sam Jr.

There is a knock at the door. It is Rowena bearing gifts. The queen of hell takes Christmas off to see her adopted children.

Dean is playing with a slightly older Sam Jr.

Next time we see him Castiel is at the roadhouse wearing Winchester plaid.

Sam is helping his kid with homework there are both textbooks and lore books on the table.

At some point the dog stops appearing.

A hunter is drinking coffee on Sam and Eileen’s living room while they look through some books. In the background you can see all the FBI cellphones.

Dean plays pool in the roadhouse with Cas by his side.

Sam and Dean visit Jody and Donna who are now retired together.

At some point they go to Donatello’s funeral. The camera goes up implying he went to heaven in the end.

Sam and Dean are bickering in the kitchen. Eileen laughs. Cas questions his life choices. Jack and a tween Sam Jr. are outside talking. Jack might be god but he is also the kid’s older brother.

Bobby’s funeral. Many hunters are there. Dean delivers a speech. Ends up saying he will see him someday.

Dean teaches teenage Sam Jr. how to drive in the impala. It goes as well as you can imagine.

They all have family lunch together.

Castiel heals Dean. Sexual tension has gone away. They are an actual old married couple now.

Sam Jr. graduates college the whole family is there to celebrate. You can see the tattoo in his arm.

This kid is having the best of both worlds plus a loving family.

Hunters arrive in a hurry to the roadhouse. We go into Dean and Cas’s bedroom. Sam is holding his hand. Cas is sitting on the other side with Jack standing beside him.

Now old man Dean gets to give his emotional speech. We all cry like we were supposed to.

After he dies surrounded by his family the camera turns. Cas and Jack are no longer there.

Dean arrives in heaven. He is still in his bedroom. Jack is there to welcome him.

Down on the heaven roadhouse all his loved ones are waiting for Dean.

Mary gives him the longest hug.

Same with original Bobby.

Everyone is there for the reunion. Jo, Ellen, original Charlie (who jokes about them getting another Charlie because they missed her so much), Kevin (In heaven as he deserves), Pamela, Adam, Benny (Somehow). John Winchester doesn’t deserve to be in here but if he is he is in the background.

Dean turns to the door and there is a silhouette in a trench coat.

He runs towards Cas because its been a while since he could run like that.

Now we get the kiss. It is as beautiful and tender as we imagined. And deserved.

Everyone leaves them be. Jack has been updating them on Destiel for the past 30 odd years.

Back on earth we get old man Sam (a believable old man Sam) mourning his brother on the Impala.

Dean and Cas go on a ride in the impala.

Sam dies with his kid by his side. It is implied Eileen passed away at some point. After he is gone Jack puts a hand on Sam Jr’s shoulder reassuring him their dad is happy and went to reunite with both his brother and the love of his life.

Dean parks the Impala. He and Cas get off the car. Castiel stays behind. Dean goes to the bridge railing.

“Hey Sammy”

They embrace. Castiel is there with them. Everyone is happy.

#supernatural #spn #15x20 #spn finale #supernatural finale #dean winchester #sam winchester #castiel #destiel #we all agree we did deserve a nice ending to this show #I cried myself to sleep while mentally writing this last night #so I decided why not actually write it #if you told me a week ago supernatural would be the thing to pull me out of writing retirement I would have laughed #fix it fic #my writing

[kaypeace21]

Big brain moment for me: is realizing one of the main reasons Mike dislikes Max is because she's (subconsciously) a constant reminder that he isn't straight.

Dustin and Lucas are immediately into Max . And Mike questions this (since they don’t even know her). Mike"awesome??!you haven't even spoken a  word to her! " Dustin (already crushing): " Hey! I don't have to . I mean LOOK at her." 

*MIKE LOOKING HELLA CONFUSED XD

Troy (the homophobic bully, talking about el): "her head's shaved . She doesn't even LOOK like a girl." 

(Not to mention all the people who also thought she looked like a boy and specifically thought she was Will- aka hopper, benny, and the diner customer).

We also know Dustin is remarking about Max’s physical appearance in that ep1 scene since this videogame-scene  also occurs in s2e1 (the same ep Max is introduced) . This videogame- scene has  lucas and Dustin fight over princess Daphne -and Lucas mentions how “princess daphne” is his. Foreshadowing the ending of  the love triangle between the 2 boys (in relation to Max) .

 What’s interesting is that historically dragon’s lair (was a nototriously difficult game)- and they used princess daphne’s attractiveness to convince straight-boys to continue playing the difficult game and waste their money .This is because, if the player finished the game- they would save and also marry  princess daphne. 

 But what’s interesting is - Dustin plays it, and it’s implied Lucas has played the game the most (and even finished the game to get Daphne). However, we never see Will or Mike play the game or get sucked into Daphne’s ...appeal. In fact (right after this) Mike instead puts his arm around Will and suggests they get the top score in dig dug TOGETHER (and beat madmax’s top score instead). Not to mention in s1 Mike wrote a whole d&d story for Will-inspired by star wars/the events of s1 and replaced  princess Leia with a king (aka Will). The king has a medal ceremony for the heroes since they k*lled the 7 headed monster for him ( Will: ”it was a 7. The demogorgan it got me″). Mike is not into princesses (he literally replaced a women crushed upon by nerdy/star wars fan boys) and replaced her with a king. connecting it even more to his lack of interest in the princess videogame/girls in general (and interest in Will) .

* These little details in ep 1 show how Mike isn’t like Dustin or Lucas. He doesn’t understand Lucas/dustin’s immediate attraction to daphne or Max in ep 1 (based on their feminine looks). Some people may claim he was attracted to El in Nancy’s dress/his grandma’s wig but i think this had more to do with the fact at that time El looked like the blonde popular girl jennifer hayes (who Lucas/Dustin were into). And so the idea of a girl who liked him (who looked like the most popular girl in school- who his friends were into )was appealing to his ego. Lucas (to Mike, referring to el while she is in her wig,dress, and makeup): “you’re just blind. Blind cause a girl isn’t grossed out by you.” Mike  in s1 even later specified he preferred her without the wig/makeup. He says in the wig/dress she’s “pretty” but when El removes all of it she asks “Still pretty?” And he says YEAH! pretty. REALLY pretty.” And sorry his compliment to her at the snowball seemed pretty rehearsed/forced. Just like how he refers to her fem look in s3 as “cool” (like how Hopper says El’s new punk look is “cool”).  In s3 we even have Lucas dress like the karate kid (cause max has a crush on him), nancy dresses based on 'new age' music (jonathan likes), so why does max imply El dresses in baggy male clothes for mike ? Saying about picking clothes " chose stuff that feels like you...not mike." Maybe cause mike prefers her dressing in a more masculine way?

Anyways, back on topic.  s2e1 shows Mike doesn’t understand his friends immediate attraction to Max and Daphne’s feminine appearances and this ties back to Mike’s animosity to Max in the following s2 eps.

 Later mike yells at max "hate you? How can I hate you? i don't even KNOW you!" (Mirroring what Mike said earlier to the smitten Dustin -when Dustin remarked on how he doesn’t really have to know her to think she’s awesome because he found her physically attractive). Mike says this comment to Max- when in canon Mike knew both el and Max for the exact same amount of time -a week . So somewhere in his subconscious he realizes crushing on el (who he ‘doesn't even know’) based on her then "boyish" look /will like appearance (after only knowing her a week) means something. Cause his straight friends (at least initially) are into Max for her more feminine appearance (after also only knowing her for a week) .And Dustin and Lucas were never into the boyish looking El (in s1- like they were with max in s2). So yeah every time Mike sees her - he's reminded that (in canon) he unlike his friends has never crushed on a single girl (except one who resembled a boy/ his male bff). Which (at least subconsciously) agitates him to think about. Max in response to him saying he doesn't hate her. Max: but you don't want me in your party! Mike: correct! Max: why not? Mike: CAUSE YOU’RE ANNOYING!To mike- max's very presence is a constant reminder he's not straight. Her presence makes him at least subconsciously start to think about things- he'd rather not. Like why he was attracted to the boyish looking el (who resembled Will) but not max, princess daphne, or any girl prior?

In s1 we know Mike knows what "gay" , 'fairy', and 'queer' is- all words he heard as insults towards Will . And eventually Mike snaps and attacks Troy for a specific  hom*phobic comment making fun of Will being dead. Where Troy says,  “Will’s in fairy land now. flying around with ALL THE OTHER FAIRIES. All happy and GAY!” . He attacks Troy in the school gym for subconsciously reminding him he’s gay -same place he yells at Max for doing the same thing. EL EVEN attacks both Max and Troy in the gym using her powers! (cough next time Mike saw Troy he literally flew from where Will ‘died’. (aka like ‘all the other fairies’. Troy even told Hopper Mike “flew” . That is another  Mike is gay hint ) . So he probably doesn't even want to fathom the possibility he may be gay or in love with his male best friend (when taught it's something 'bad' by his peers and 80s society as a whole ). Especially when he sees how people already malign Will over such rumors.

So to Mike - Max is the personification of the thing he lacks - the ability to be attracted to girls-the innate ability to be what most deem 'normal'. The ability to be like his friends. And he sadly resents her for this.

Then in s3 max encourages el to dump him ( and says to Mike it's not just a break). And constantly points out how mileven just isn't that great- she yells at Mike about how he doesn't trust el nor respects her ability to make decisions. And tells el that he lied to her. And she also points out to Mike- how el was the one who decided to spy on him (and disrespect his privacy/boundaries). And even worse for Mike's straight facade with El (max gives El a feminine makeover in s3). Something he’s not genuinely attracted to.  

 To Mike(at least subconsciously)- she is a constant reminder that he’s not straight (in s2). And in s3, she points how the flaws of his comp het relationship with el .Which infuriates him .

So when Mike starts to accept his queerness- I suspect their relationship will improve.

Heck The fact MAX & Will also have a lot in common (but he’s only attracted to Will- a boy and not Max) could be another subconscious reminder he’s not straight (Which causes an additional layer of resentment).For max & Will: Both are poor,  their bio dads both abandoned them leaving them with their respective mothers, both like horror films, comics and videogames, both are the youngest of 2 siblings.  And both use bats in anger when emulating their ab*sers ,and both are heavily associated with rainbows (Max literally has a rainbow shirt collection/ Will's rainbow ship and the many other rainbow refs).  Both also yell at Mike about how sh*tty they think the mileven relationship is in s3. Both have posters relating to beach films (Will has jaws /Max has endless summer).Costume designers said his s1's vest was supposed to be in homage to Marty mcfly (from back to the future). They gave Max Marty mcfly's skateboard in s2.And on Halloween she even dresses up as a movie-character who as a child dressed up as a clown on Halloween (Will’s fear/ what triggered him on Halloween) and whose surname is Myers (Byers?)  

I also think Mike was a bit jealous and initially thought Will was into her too. But I think the prior reasons I just discussed was actually the main reason for the animosity.

UPDATE

*this annon pointed out a detail that pretty much just verified my first assumption.To mike- max's very presence is a constant reminder he's not straight-similar to troy doing the same thing (albeit for very diff reasons ). Her presence (and his inability to have a crush on her-like Lucas &Dustin do) makes him at least subconsciously start to think about things- he'd rather not. Like why was he attracted to the boyish looking el (who resembled Will)? And who he barely spoke to, and in his own words he “didn’t even know’ cause he only knew her for a week? But NOT max (who he knew for the same amount of time),and who Lucas/dustin have immediate attraction to/ think is “awesome”  without talking to her (because of their feminine looks) .To Mike - Max is the personification of the thing he lacks - the ability to be attracted to girls-the innate ability to be what most deem 'normal'. The ability to be like his friends

We see this by the use of one word....

Having Max in s2 mention how Mike thought El was “awesome”  . Is just icing on the cake- showing she’s a reminder to Mike he isn’t straight (and his romantic feelings for El aren’t genuine). She literally threw Mike’s words back at him-where Mike was judging his friends for thinking Max was “awesome” because of her looks-not words.When Mike did the same to El.

Lucas even says the ‘no/yes’ line next to Mike’s heart sign (which has a rainbow propelling a heart on it). In s3 (when dating el) he removed this sign.  But symbolically we see it follow him everywhere -via El’s room having a drawing with a rainbow propelling a heart on it- with Mike’s name on it.  Which is shown when he’s kissing El- showing no matter how hard he tries to act straight-he can’t escape his rainbow/ queerness.

In fact,in s3, when Max points out the flaws in m*leven she is wearing  rainbow shirts (illustrating that she -like the rainbow-sign & drawing is a constant reminder to Mike that he’s not straight -which  follows him everywhere). Similar to Troy who (in his rainbow shirt) interrupts Lucas claiming Mike has a crush on El- only to announce Will is gay/ and to only target Mike with such remarks after this .

Not to mention this whole -Max reminding him he’s not straight and can’t like girls in s2-3 just ties in to my theory Mike was projecting when telling Will “it’s not my fault you don’t like girls.”-here. And the whole theory Mike is emulating his parent’s  loveless marriage with El-mentioned it here.

#max mayfield #mike wheeler #byler #byeler #will byers #lucas sinclair #dustin henderson

[50shadesofsubtextao3]

Dean is Bi

Day two of @foundfamily4eva‘s Supernatural Deserved Better prompt list. 

I definitely plan of doing as many of these prompts as possible set in this world because I love it. 

The restaurant was nearly empty, so it was easy to see every look of disgust the couple across the room was giving them. 

Claire just kept pulling Kaia closer to her while staring down the couple across the room. 

Across the table, Cas seemed entirely unaffected by the looks, Benny kept chuckling at the whole situation, and Dean just felt the frustration building up in his gut. He had fought for this. He fought for this family, for this life. He deserved to be able to spend time with his family in public and not feel that little curl of shame creep back up in his stomach. 

Finally, as they waited for their food, Dean decided to just fuck it, fuck the couple, and he pulled Cas in for a kiss. They heard the couple's huffs of disgust, but everyone at the table relaxed some and actually enjoyed their meal. 

As they were leaving, Claire stopped right in front of the couple’s table on the way out and kissed Kaia in front of the whole restaurant, then looked right at the man. “I learned that from my gay dads you homophobes.” 

They laughed about it the whole car ride home. It was an awesome moment, and Dean didn’t want to discredit that, but something tugged at him and he just couldn’t let it go. 

He didn’t say anything when Claire and Kaia went back to their apartment that night, but when she came over a few days later, he decided to pull her aside. 

He waited until she was outside throwing Miracle’s ball and Cas and Benny were busy, when it was just the two of them. “You know I’m not actually gay, right?”

She faked a look of shock and laughed, “Is this about what I said at the restaurant?” 

“Kinda. I don’t know. I just. I like women too.”

“You know, I’ve never actually seen you with a woman.”

It hit Dean that despite his one-night stands, he hadn’t been in a relationship with a woman since Lisa. That was over 10 years ago. “Yeah. I mean it’s been a while. But I like women too. And actually, Cas isn’t really a man, he’s just in a male body. He had to teach me the difference.”

Claire smiled at him. “Dean, you’re bi. It’s cool. I’m just happy that you and Cas are happy.”

“Yeah. I just. You know.” 

She smiled and patted his arm. “It’s okay, old man. I know.”

Let me know if you want to be added/removed to/from the tag list

@thewaywardgryffindor @tardisheart134 @castielology @my-people-skillls-are-rusty

#spndbcc #dean is bi #writing #dean winchester #castiel #cas #claire novak #kaia nieves #benny lafitte #sioux falls series #yes #I am making this a series and i promise they will all connect together at the end

[theknightswhosay]

Eruri Musician AU

[Whole story can be found here]

2nd March 2012 - Brixton Flat, London

If you’re lucky, there’ll come a moment in life when you’ll have an ‘Eureka’ moment when you find that special something you were just meant to do. I had that special moment not once, but twice.

The first time I was twelve. A scrawny pre-teen with pimples and shit posture, stealing my step-dad’s cigarettes as if that could make me cool.

That’s the only time in my life I’ve been tall. It’s like I did all my growing just before any of the other guys did and then just stopped all of a sudden. That seemed unfair. I mean, guys are meant to keep on growing into their twenties aren’t they? But not me, apparently.

So I was twelve and all the horrors of puberty hadn’t properly hit me yet. This was before all the worst of it: before the whole school seemed to turn on me at once, before my parents disowned me and kicked me out.

I stayed late after school because Mum was late again. I was used to it: she worked three jobs and yet insisted on picking me up when she could, squezing in some ‘bonding time’ on the drive back. Honestly, it was easier to take the bus. I preferred being alone.

I was stuck at school and it was only those lucky kids who could afford extra-curriculars still there. They’d stuck me in the Main Hall to wait, and I tucked myself away in a corner with my battered, dog-eared copy of Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets.

The Main Hall wasn’t empty that day. There were a handful of adults, visitors by the looks of it, not teachers, and each one holding an instrument. Turns out it was supposed to be a session to encourage kids to take up music, except of course no one had showed up.

Music wasn’t cool at my school. Not like music music anyway. Guitar was alright maybe, and some of the girls might do piano, but not the guys. Any kind of classical instrument was immediately seen as ‘gay’.

Even then, before I was out, before I even knew I was queer, I knew that being labelled as ‘gay’ was basically a death sentence.

Since I was the only student there, I couldn’t just read my book in peace, oh no. Before I knew it, one of the adults was walking towards me. He was one of those old carribean dudes from East London, well dressed, and wearing a navy hat with a bright feather on it. He looked pretty cool, nothing like the sad, beige-wearing adults who taught at our school. He had smile wrinkles around his eyes and deep dimples in his dark cheeks.

“Hello young man, would you like to try something new today?”

Terrified of human interaction, I tried to hide myself behind my book. He carried on anyway.

“This here is the clarinet, and you haven’t seen nothing so smooth as this before, I’ll bet you. Do you like music?”

Despite myself, I was curious. I peeped my head over the top of my book and nodded.

“Alright then. Well just maybe I’ll play you a little somethin’ and you tell me if you like it.”

And then he began to play.

And that was it. That was my Eureka moment. As the notes streamed out of the instrument, my mouth slowly fell open without my permission. My book fell from my hands in slow motion as I stared at him, all the hairs on my arms standing on edge as the melody wove itself through my soul, nestling deep within where it belonged.

By the time he was done, I knew. I had to learn. It was my destiny to learn. I needed an instrument of my own.

Now usually I was careful not to ask for anything from my parents, especially my step-dad. I tried to avoid him, mostly, especially when he was drunk. He would come home and his eyes would be all red and you could smell him from the moment he stepped foot in the house. My mum and I would be so quiet then, tiptoeing around him, breathing a sigh of relief if all he did was stumble to the sofa and pass out.

For the first time in my life, I had something I needed them to agree to. Luckily for me, there was a cross-school jazz band in desperate need of clarinet players. They were so desperate that the local multi-school fund agreed to back a couple scholarships for students to learn.

Even then, it was a battle to get my parents to agree.

What did I need music lessons for? My step-dad would ask. What even was a clarinet? My mother would ask. If I wanted to learn music so badly I should do something manly like the drums or bass, my step-dad said.

But I’d done my homework. One night I brought home an old Benny Goodman CD from the school library and before they could stop me I loaded it into our bashed up stereo and then a 1930s big band was playing throughout our flat. It was amazing. The music pulled you right up out of yourself along with it, whether it was music for dancing or music for sitting still and being lost. And when it got to the clarinet solo I could hardly breathe. With the trumpets and the drums and everything behind it, it sounded even more beautiful.

My mum came home then, and when she heard the music, I think she finally understood. I don’t know how she did it but she convinced my step-dad to agree, I mean it wasn’t even like they would have to pay or anything.

Finally, I got my clarinet lessons.

The day they handed me my first instrument was one of the best days of my life. It was a beat-up old thing, second hand, and still the property of the school, but to me it was perfect. It was easily the most valuable item to have passed through my room, even if it wasn’t technically mine.

I thought that was it. I had found my calling and I would devote the rest of my life to music.

Of course, nothing is ever so simple.

//

The second ‘Eureka’ moment of my life came twelve years later. It was the night I rediscovered that love for music once more.

When you’re a kid things are simple. Your view of the world is more straightforward, your ideas of how things will happen are all very black and white. And then you’re sixteen and everything is suddenly very real and you can’t hide the fact you’re gay anymore and your piece of shit step-dad is kicking you out.

Bye-bye sixth form. Bye-bye future. Bye-bye clarinet.

The school took their property back, and that was that. I was so busy surviving, just trying to find a place to crash at night and get on my feet, I didn’t have a spare minute to remember what my original dream had been. It seemed like just that: a dream.

With the click of my fingers eight years had passed and I was twenty-four and only just settling into adulthood, only just realising that actually I hated getting black-out drunk and knocking back some unknown drug and waking up on someone’s couch with a crick in my neck.

I’d been seeing this asshole named Jasper for a few years on-and-off. He couldn’t help himself, always falling into bed with new guys. I actually didn’t care about that aspect so much, I’m not one for jealousy, but it was the way he acted that got to me. He’d just disappear without saying a word and I’d know he was on some bender, high off his tits for a whole week and fucking whoever.

Then he’d be pissed if I didn’t want to sleep with him. Of course I wouldn’t want to fucking sleep with him, who knows what kind of STIs he might have picked up. I wouldn’t trust him to use protection anyway, let alone whilst he’s high.

We’d fight, we’d break up, I’d go out on some rebound hook-up or whatever, and then somehow a few months later we’d be back together again. It was stupid. I don’t know why we carried on like that so long.

The night in question was one of those nights when things were ‘off’ with Jasper and I was out looking for some stranger to take home with me and fuck out my irritation. I was drunk and hardly thinking, pressing some random tall guy against the grimy club wall and sucking his tongue into my mouth, the horrible techno bass re-writing my heart beat and swallowing my ears into a buzzing emptiness.

Leaving was a blur, and then suddenly the streets got real quiet as we turned a corner and left Soho behind. Just like that I sobered up, hating how loud the quiet seemed between us.

In the amber street lamps, I saw that he was actually a really attractive guy: strong nose and cheekbones like a whiskey-drinking american dream. His hair was dirty blonde and was long enough to tie back in a bun, an 80s rock star wannabe.

“Is it far to yours?” he asked, breaking the silence. His words curled around his vowels in an lilting accent I had never heard before.

“Not far. Ten minutes, tops.”

He nodded, and seemed to struggle to find what to say next. I rolled my eyes in anticipation of more small talk. I clearly was not drunk enough.

“I didn’t actually catch your name,” he said.

“Levi. You?”

“Erwin.”

I kept my pace brisk, not wanting or needing to exchange more about myself. Out of the corner of my eye I saw him open his mouth to ask more, but abruptly we both stopped, caught by a wave of low sound seeping out of a darkened shop-front just ahead of us.

A lone saxophone. Tenor, from the sounds of it. Deep, rich, and full of feeling.

The solitary melody was captivating and beautiful, and there it was once more: it was like I was twelve years old again in that Main Hall in the school, hearing real music for the first time.

Even with my ears still ringing from the heartless beat of the club, even after so many years without music in my life, even with all the shit I’d gone through, I was just as awe-struck. It was like the very cells of my body were singing along with the sad and wonderful song.

It was many minutes before I became aware of my surroundings once more, and remembered that I was not alone. Startled, I glanced at my companion.

I was pleasantly surprised to see an expression on his face that was very close to what I was feeling. His mouth was open, his eyes shut, a picture of peace.

The song came to an end and his eyes opened, meeting my gaze.

We stared at each other.

He smiled.

The corner of my mouth tugged upwards, threatening to turn into a full-on smile which would mirror his. I had this surging feeling like something really important had just happened, a moment I needed to remember and carve into my memory permanently.

“Do you mind if we just stand here for a bit? I’d like to savour that,” he said, echoing my thoughts.

“Sure.”

He leaned back against the brick wall beside the dark shop front and folded his arms across his chest. I stood there, wanting to enjoy the moment, but feeling uncertain as I usually did around new people. I shoved my hands deep into my pockets.

“I forget sometimes, what music can be,” Erwin said, “But just now, whoever that was playing in there...That’s what it’s meant to be, you know? It just makes you forget all the shit…” he trailed off, eyes unfocusing, clearly thinking about something. Who knows what kind of crap he was going through or remembering.

I knew better than to ask.

“There was a time when I thought I’d devote myself to music.” I’m not normally one for sharing, so I surprised myself when I told him this. The music must’ve got to me, shaken me up so I was looser than usual.

“You still could,” said Erwin, “I started late, myself. Only discovered my love of it in my first year of college. I ended up dropping out so I could keep playing.”

“That’s nice.” I kicked myself. I sucked at conversation.

“I’m just saying, it’s never too late. For all you know you could live to be a hundred. Could still do anything between now and then.”

“You make it sound so simple.”

“Isn’t it? If you wanna make music, make music. If it adds something to your life, make it a part of your life. No?”

I looked at him then. Really looked at him. He looked back, his expression sincere. He really did mean what he had said. My mouth twitched again into something like a smile.

I’m not sure we said much else after that. For what seemed like a long time, we just stood there bathed in orange lamp-light and the ghostly echoes of that sad, beautiful saxophone, each of us lost in our own thoughts. I appreciated that. The moment stretched on. It was comfortable, companionable.

For the first time in a long time, I thought about my future.

//

Part of what made that night so beautiful was that I knew I’d never see that guy Erwin again. We didn’t end up going back to mine, I was too sober and too tired in the end. He gave me his number but we both knew I wouldn’t call. Why ruin a beautiful memory by getting to know him and realise he was actually a complete dick? That was my thinking, anyway.

London’s a big place. It’s rare to cross paths with anyone by chance.

Rare, but not impossible.

The reason I started thinking back on all this was because last night I ran into him again, and what do you know, it was music that brought us together. Of course.

Perhaps I should explain how much has changed since the first time I met him. In the last six years I think I’ve actually started to figure some shit out. I mean, I got sober, which was the best thing I’ve ever done. I left Jasper, a close second best.

Then there’s just other ways I’ve started to build a decent life for myself. I started the little tea stall I’d always dreamed of, ‘Sobrie-tea’: late-night tea for those who want to drink something non-alcoholic, and when I’m not doing that I’m helping out at my best friends’ bookshop. Izzy and Fu run this little queer independent bookshop in Brixton, and the three of us live just above it in this tiny apartment full of plants.

But most importantly, I started making music again. After that second Eureka moment with Erwin, it only took me a few months to save up enough for a nice, second-hand clarinet, and it’s kind of amazing how much you can teach yourself with YouTube these days.

I practised like Hell. Every day for at least an hour. I was addicted. I loved it. And then Izzy bullied me into getting up on stage at the open jam at Little Nick’s on Tuesdays. Shit just stuck. I started meeting people, playing music with others.

There’s really nothing like it: when you’re completely in sync with several other people, all of you going freestyle, only loosely sticking to the melody line but otherwise just improvising. It’s the most alive I’ve ever felt. It never gets old. We go for hours.

My little group plays two nights a week now at Little Nick’s. We don’t get paid all that much between us, but that’s not really the point. It’s a chance to play, to create, and we bring in an awesome little crowd that loves us.

Sometimes I would think about that one night. About Erwin and sitting there basking in the aftermath of beautiful music. I would wonder if maybe I should have called.

I only ever told Hange about that night. Hange’s our crazy scientist friend. They’ve got like two pHds, which is pretty nuts, and yet you never feel stupid around Hange, you know? They talk to everyone the same, roping anyone who’ll listen into their wild theories and latest experiments searching for the cure to cancer or whatever, but always happy to take the time to explain it all in layman’s terms so you can follow along.

Hange’s very much a work hard, play hard kind of person, and we’re always telling them they need to just relax sometimes. That’s how they roped me into going to a fucking metal concert with them last night.

Seriously though, a metal concert. I hate metal. It’s almost as bad as this shit they play on the radio.

Hange went on and on about what this would mean to them, a good break from work and stuff (even though I’m pretty sure metal concert falls into the ‘play hard’ category and not the ‘relax’ category), and what with Izzy and Fu on holiday I didn’t really have any excuse.

So there we were, we’d made it into the grimy, dark old warehouse on the outskirts of town and horrible sounds were blasting out at us over the huge speakers as the warm-up act got going. The place was pretty packed, the floor sticky underfoot. It was, in short, disgusting. Not my kind of venue. Not my kind of night out. But this wasn’t about me, it was about Hange, and Hange was over the moon.

Their favourite band of all time was finally back together after a three year hiatus! I attempted and failed to give a shit, but let Hange rant away anyway. I wasn’t exactly familiar with the Norweigan metal scene, or any metal at all to be fair. I just couldn’t for the life of me see the appeal, no matter how many times Hange tried to play me songs they thought I’d like. It’s the screaming I can’t stand. It’s just a wall of noise. It’s as far from the elegance of jazz as you can get.

Hange weaseled our way to the front, their hand in a vice-like grip on my arm to pull me after them. I cursed as some idiot spilled some of his beer on me, and tried to suppress the wave of anxiety skittering along my skin at having so many bodies so close, nose wrinkling at the heavy smell of sweat and unwashed hair.

Just as we reached the front, the low lights suddenly cut out. A hush descended over the whole room as several hundred people fell silent at once, bathed in darkness. The press of people behind me fell away as every sense floated, waiting, a hundred bodies holding their breath.

It started gentle. The zing of a synth that would run under your skin; static electricity as sound. The sound grew, harmonies of distorted strings layering and layering, the sound panning lazily throughout the room like a rolling, bumbling giant of ambience. Pulling at us from the feet up, it built and built, swirling, taking its time.

And then the bassline started.

There it was. That sweet euphoria that hits when suddenly all the textures would align, several instruments coming together all at once just right. I never expected that euphoria there, in the first few minutes of a metal concert.

Fuck, was all I could think as the bassline pierced through the wild synth like a knife straight through my body, pulling my skin away from my bones.

BOOM BOOM! Lights flared up in time with the bass drum, only to disappear again and leave us subject to that otherworldly bass again. Another minute more just building, the sound growing and I could taste it in his mouth, aching for the huge crashing entrance I knew was around the corner.

Sharp as a slap, the snare came in, 1 2 3 4! And then the lights came on just as the music flared up into life, suddenly fast as anything: a jolt of pure adrenaline. I hadn’t felt a high like it in years. I gasped as I was crushed forward against the barrier, the metal digging into my gut as the crowd behind me jostled and pushed. The part of me that was disgusted was dimmed by the part in rapture; the soaring vocals and incredibly complex guitar lines all winding around the insistent drums and pulling at me until I was hardly myself.

Blurry with the sheer rush of it, it was only after that wild first chorus that I got a good look at the band themselves.

All four members were tall, tattooed, and with a lot of hair. The drummer was shirtless, his long hair dyed bright purple and green. On guitar was a woman with hair shaved along one side, all the better to show off her numerous ear piercings. The lead singer and synth-player had one of those distinctive, not-quite-attractive faces that models often have, his nose a bit too big, his eyebrows much darker than his hair.

And then I turned my gaze to the bassist.

It was him.

It was Erwin.

His hair was shorter, falling just past his ears and he’d grown a wild and rugged beard. The slight wrinkles around his mouth suited him, as did the subtle tan. I couldn’t look away. The source of the most insane basslines I’d ever heard in my life was none other than the man who’d helped rekindle my greatest passion.

The rest of the concert passed by like a dream. It was like I was floating: bathed in the intricate music, yet tethered to Erwin, my gaze locked on him in fascination. What were the odds?

Finally, time seemed to start back up again. The music came crashing to a huge halt, hungry silence hovering in the air. The lead singer spoke to the audience for the first time, how pleased they were to be playing again and some other stuff, but I was hardly listening, still looking at Erwin.

I jumped when the house lights came up, blinking as the audience was suddenly flood-lit with orange warmth.

When I looked back again, Erwin was looking right back. Directly at me. His mouth had fallen open in recognition.

“Levi, oh my God,” Hange said loudly in my ear, “Levi! Erwin’s staring right at you,”

“I’m sure it’s nothing.”

“No, Levi, I’m pretty sure he’s staring right at you. He looks kind of shocked actually. What’s up with that?”

“No idea…” I said, hoping to leave it at that. I had the strongest urge to flee. My legs were shaking slightly as I suppressed a wave of panic.

“I’m gonna go for a piss,” I told Hange, ignoring their protests and further Erwin-related questions and finally broke away from that intense gaze staring down at me from the stage. I was relieved when the house lights finally went down.

//

On the walk home we were quiet. Hange was clearly itching with questions but was battling with themself to keep them at bay, knowing how I could get. I appreciated that. At the same time, the awkward silence was dragging on, and it was another forty minutes until we reached my place.

“Hange, spit it out.”

“What happened back there, Levi? Come onnnn, you can tell me. You totally disappeared for the last few songs after Erwin was staring at you. Do you know him or something?”

I stewed on my words for several paces, battling with my constant desire to never tell anyone anything.

“He’s the guy,” I finally mumbled.

“What guy?”

“From that night. The night I decided to start making music again.”

Hange stopped in their tracks.

“Holy shit. For real? The guy? The one I said you should have married right then and there?”

“Jesus Christ Hange. I’m not marrying anyone. But yes, that guy.”

“Oh my God...Oh my God, Levi.”

“Yeah.”

“So why the fuck did you just run off like that, huh? You could have totally stuck around, found a way to get his number or something.”

“No way. It just wouldn’t have happened.”

“How do you know? You didn’t even try. Maybe you’re the one that got away for him too, you know? Maybe he was staring because he was like, happy surprised to see you again.”

“Nah, I don’t buy it. Look, at best he might’ve wanted to hang out with me or whatever, and then I meet up with him and just like that, turns out he’s an asshole. That’s what happens when you get to know most people, ok?”

Hange chewed on their lip for a bit, a myriad of expressions crossing their face. I imagined they were working through a range of possible responses, clearly unhappy with my words.

I started walking again, keeping up a brisk pace as if to physically move past the conversation. I’d made my decision, the same one I’d been making since Jasper. Most people were just not worth the effort.

Finally, I heard Hange start walking behind me, quickly catching up. After a few more minutes, they launched into a completely unrelated rant about the next research project they were going to work on, and that was that.

I’ll add the memory of that concert to my very short list of happy ones, and I’ll forget about Erwin again.

I’ll move on.

#shingeki no kyojin #snk #attack on titan #eruri #erwin x levi #levi x erwin #levi ackerman #erwin smith #aot #fanfiction #musician #AU

[perpetually-blue]

supernatural finale. we’ve all been hearing about it, whatever, even if you didn’t want to. it’s happening. 15 years of love for these boys, there’s bound to be feelings. but GOD it’s so much worse because it was so beyond awful.

jack wasn’t going to bring dean back. hate to say it but there it is. too much interference from a higher power is what got us here in the first place. but it didn’t need to be like that. it shouldn’t have. dean was born to die. he’s the love of my life and i will always save a special place in my heart for him, but we all knew he wasn’t ever going to grow old and die in hospice.

that doesn’t mean dean was meant to die LIKE THAT. sam was supposed to live a life with eileen, 2.5 kids and maybe doing some research for other hunters on the side because let’s face us, they’d never really get out. dean would’ve been a mechanic or something simple that he truly enjoyed, living his life with his brother, being happy for him like he always wanted. he would’ve lived. would he ever really moved on from cas? no, not in my opinion. cas was the first person to ever really tell him how much he deserved, how good he was, how loved he was. no one was ever going to even come close to that angel. there was no point. he would’ve been happy by himself and probably with miracle dog.

they would’ve gotten a call from someone important to them, garth or maybe claire if she was still around, i don’t know and it doesn’t really matter. one last hunt to tie up lose ends, finish where dad left off like they were always meant to do. the stupid vampire clowns would’ve been researched and remembered and “if it were my kid i would want someone to save them” kinda thing. deans got a soft spot for kids, we know this.

they’re mid hunt and the boys are starting to realize they might not make it out of this one. there’s too many, they’re out of practice, whatever. by a stroke of luck they finish the job and things look fine until dean gets all pale, looks to at sam with that look in his eyes that says “oh fuck, this is it.” sam rushes over, parallel to dean at the end of season two (or whenever sam got stabbed in the back, it’s been a minute cut me some slack) and deans death scene? phenomenal. stays almost exactly the same, except more emphasis on the ‘it’s fine, i’m ready, promise me you’ll live out the rest of your normal life. i’m at peace with this’ kinda thing. i would loved to see some illusion to cas but we all know that would be way too gay for the cw. sam takes deans body back to the house, covered in blood, and told eileen to make sure to keep the kids in the house. he’d cry to her on the porch and she’d promise she’d be right next to him when they burned his body, hunter style, because dean winchester wouldn’t decay in a wooden box for the rest of eternity like some childhood pet.

dean always wanted a big funeral. sam knew this, and that was the least he deserved. he makes some calls and on a sunny thursday morning, when the air is crisp and the day is still, the entire fucking world shows up to the funeral of the most legendary hunter there ever was. people sam didn’t know came to pay respects to this man, who devoted his life to everyone but himself. they’d pour a beer out, and sam would be the one to light the torch and do the deed.

he’d live out the rest of his life, mourning his brother and best friend, but he’d live for his family, for the brother that always wanted this for him. because that’s what sam deserved and that’s what sam was always destined to get.

dean would get to heaven and be blown away by the improvements jack was making. he knew jack hadn’t forgotten about him (he’d stop by every so often, leave a half eaten three musketeers in the kitchen, etc) and he was right. the boy he raised was one of the first people to greet him when he finally made it to heaven, telling him how much he missed him and whatnot. he’d be ecstatic to tell dean all of the things he’d done and bring him to the people he’d missed for so long. ellen, bobby, jody, benny (because he deserved to be in heaven, damn it), and everyone else. and when he’d said his hellos and caught up with everyone he’d been missing, he’d look around with a sad and almost disappointed look in his eye. jack would see it and smile. “you didn’t think he wouldn’t be here, did you?” and when dean turns around, he sees the angel he’d been in love with for so damn long. cas would be all “hello, dean” and while we wouldn’t get a kiss or anything, i’d settle for a teary eyed hug and a big smile that said all of the things dean never got to say.

then one day, when sam had lived his long, happy, drawn out life, he’d lay in that stupid hospice bed with (hopefully a better wig) his family all around him, and his eldest son would take his hand and tell him it was okay. and that’s all he would need to let go and finally reunite with his big brother, the single most important person in his life.

that’s how it should’ve ended, and fuck the cw and the show writers for taking that away from us.

#supernatural #supernatural finale #spn #spn season 15 #dean winchester #dean winchester deserved better #sam winchester #goodbye supernatural #and now i’m done #it’s out of my system but i’m still just as pissed #mine #shitpost

[spiritedquill]

Sonny’s Home For Boys:  Chapter 10

Ch1 | Ch2 | Ch3 | Ch4 | Ch5 | Ch6 | Ch7 | Ch8 | Ch9 | Ch10

AO3 | FFnet

Summary:  He wasn’t staying. There was no way he could stay, even if Sonny treated him like one of his own. He had to get back to Sammy. His dad would come back and he’d go back to doing what he did best: hunting. Still… the mysterious blue-eyed boy named Castiel made it really hard to not want to stick around and never go anywhere else again.

Chapter 10: 

The next few days, Dean kept his head down and gave Cas some space. At school, he worked quietly in chem lab and didn’t try to start anything. He was waiting for the right time. 

He didn’t see Cas at Sonny’s, and when he asked about it Sonny told him he was staying at Charlie’s house for a few days. Dean was hoping he’d get the chance to talk to Cas at the wrestling meet on Thursday but Cas didn’t show. Dean still tried to focus on the team. He didn’t want to let them down.

Dean actually won a medal at the meet. He hadn’t even realized it was a big deal kind of event but he won all but one match and apparently it was some sort of tournament. Dean actually allowed himself a moment to feel proud of his achievement. He wondered if his dad would be proud of him. 

Dean found Sonny after the winners all received their awards, unable to contain his bright grin. 

“You did a good job, son,” the man said, smiling warmly and clapping Dean’s shoulder. “I’m proud of you.”

Dean startled, looking up at Sonny with wide eyes. He tried to remember the last time he’d heard those words directed at him. Nothing came to mind. 

“I, um…” Dean cleared his throat. “Thanks, Sonny.” If only he knew just how much Dean meant it. 

“I’ll drive ya home, Dean.”

Nodding, Dean followed Sonny outside and hopped in the truck. 

“I didn’t see Cas tonight,” Sonny commented, and Dean could tell he was going somewhere with this. “Any idea why he didn’t show?”

Dean shifted uncomfortably in the passenger seat. “No, sir.”

“Dean,” Sonny said pointedly. “You really think I haven’t noticed something’s going on between you two? I may be getting old but I haven’t lost all my marbles yet.” 

Dean sighed. “Dammit,” he muttered, shaking his head. “Is it really that obvious to everyone?” 

Sonny smiled kindly. “Listen, son. I know how it is. You boys are stubborn and no one wants to make that first move but it’s gotta be done. And if you’re waiting for someone else to make it, you might be stuck waiting forever.”

Dean swallowed thickly, running his fingers through his hair. “What if he doesn’t wanna talk to me? I’m pretty sure he hates me by now.” 

Sonny actually laughed and Dean frowned at him. The man shook his head and apologized. “Man, if you could see the way that boy looks at you when he thinks no one’s paying attention.”

Dean soaked that in. Everyone kept saying that Cas looked at him like… well, he didn’t know what. He wished he could see whatever it was that everyone else saw on Cas’s face. If it was anything like the way Dean thought he looked at Cas, then it really must have been something. 

“Just talk to him, Dean,” Sonny said, as if it were that simple. “He might surprise you.”

Dean sighed. “He barely looks at me. How the hell am I supposed to talk to him?”

Sonny glanced at him, frowning at the sullen look on his face and the slouch of his shoulders. “I probably shouldn’t tell you this,” he said. “But Charlie’s house is just a block away from the school. He’s been staying there for a few days now. It’s the house on the corner by the flower shop. When you’re ready to take that first step, you can find him there.”

Dean stared at him for a moment, then swallowed and looked out the passenger window. They were both quiet for the rest of the drive, and Dean thought about what Sonny said. And what Robin said, and Benny. According to them, it was just as simple as talking to Cas. Telling him how he felt. Dean had never been very good at talking about his feelings, but if that was what it would take to get Cas to talk to him again… Well, he was still pretty sure he sucked at it, but he was willing to try. 

…

The closer they got to the dance, the less sure Cas was that it was a good idea to go at all. He didn’t want to see Dean, dancing with Robin and flirting with Robin and touching Robin… Everything he wanted Dean to do with him. 

But it was pretty hard to say no to Balthazar. And Charlie, too. They were going to the dance as a trio, and Cas begged them to go without him but they wouldn’t have it. 

“Our funky bunch isn’t complete without the quirky introverted nerd,” Charlie told him matter-of-factly as they searched through her movie collection. Cas rolled his eyes and her expression turned serious. “Besides. The school board is apparently trying to ban gay couples from going to the dance together. So we’re going to rebel by going as a gay trio and they can’t do a damn thing. There’s going to be so much gay at this dance that they won’t know what to do.”

“Hell yes,” Balthazar called from the kitchen. “Tomorrow is going to kick ass!”

Cas couldn’t help but smile. “Fine, but I’m not dancing.”

“Not dancing my ass!” Balthazar shouted, outraged. There was a knock at the door and he frowned. “I’ll get it!” he called to Charlie and Cas, heading down the hall. 

When he opened the door, he swore he could feel steam blowing out of his ears. “What the hell are you doing here, Winchester?” he spat out. 

Dean shoved his hands in his pockets and forced the words out of his mouth. “I need to talk to Cas.”

“He doesn’t want to see you,” Balthazar said, low and dangerous. He did his best not to let his voice rise in anger, not wanting Cas to hear from the other room. “You’ve got some nerve just showing up here after what you did.”

“I…” Dean hesitated. He knew he’d fucked up, but he couldn’t figure out exactly what Balthazar was referring to. He shook his head and met Balthazar’s eyes seriously. “Please, I need him to know that I--”

“Bye, Dean,” Balthazar said and closed the door in his face. 

“Wait!” Dean knocked on the door again, insistent. Balthazar opened it again, his eyes dark, and Dean was growing desperate. “I never wanted to hurt Cas. I swear. I messed up.”

“You think?” Balthazar muttered, rolling his eyes. 

“Look, I get it, you don’t like me,” Dean continued, and Balthazar scoffed. “But I care about Cas. I just need him to know that I lo--” He stopped abruptly, the words unwilling to crawl up his throat. “I just need to talk to him.”

Balthazar actually seemed to consider it. But then he glared at Dean and began to close the door again. “You missed your chance,” he said before closing it and locking it. He saw Dean walk away, shoulders slumped, and he muttered something about a damn pity party before padding back to the kitchen. He grabbed the finished popcorn out of the microwave and poured both bags into a large bowl. 

“Who was at the door?” Cas asked with a smile when Balthazar appeared in the living room. 

Balthazar shrugged. “Just some sorry sap selling the ‘next big thing,’” he said, making air quotes. “Nothing to worry about.” 

Cas barely listened to his response as he pulled The Princess Bride from the cabinet and held it up with a grin. Charlie and Balthazar groaned and he laughed. “What? You guys love this movie.”

“I did until you picked it for ten movie nights in a row,” Charlie whined. “How many times are you going to watch it before you get bored?”

Cas grinned. “There’s a shortage of perfect movies in the world…”

Charlie groaned, throwing her hands up. “Fine, you win!”

They settled in to watch the movie, Charlie on the reclining chair and Balthazar and Cas sharing the couch. As per usual, Cas sat tucked in against Balthazar’s side and Balthazar put his arm around Cas’s shoulders. Balthazar couldn’t help but smile at how relaxed Cas was. He actually looked happy. And that was how he knew he was right to turn Dean away. He wasn’t going to let Dean steal Cas’s smile away ever again.

…

Dean met Robin at her house around 5:00 p.m. on Saturday, dressed in an ironed-- yes, ironed-- blue button-down shirt and a pair of old dress slacks that used to be Sonny’s. It was pretty much the nicest thing he’d ever worn.

He had a single rose tucked behind his back-- Ash’s idea-- and used his other hand to knock on the door. 

“One second!” came Robin’s muffled voice inside. Dean smiled and shifted nervously. Then he felt dumb for being nervous. They were just going as friends. They had agreed.

They had also agreed that kissing was awkward and not really something they should do with each other anymore. Dean was relieved as soon as Robin admitted that it felt forced to her, too. 

It didn’t feel forced with Cas. But that was something to focus on another day. 

Pulling him out of his thoughts, Robin answered the door with a grin. Dean smiled and brought the rose around from behind his back. Robin laughed and took the flower with a sweet smile. “It’s beautiful, Dean, thank you,” she said. 

“Ready to go?” Dean asked. 

“Yeah, for sure. I’ll just grab my sweater.” She disappeared for a moment and then they were on their way. “So, did you talk to Cas?”

Dean sighed. So much for not focusing on it. 

“I tried, but Balthazar answered the door.”

Robin winced sympathetically. “Yeah, that couldn’t have gone well.” 

“That’s an understatement,” Dean scoffed. “I mean, I guess I get why he hates me.”

Robin shrugged. “He’s just protective is all. He and Cas… there’s a lot of history there.”

Dean shifted uncomfortably, debating whether or not he wanted to say what he was thinking. He decided it couldn’t hurt. “Were they ever… ya know…”

“No,” Robin said, almost too quickly, and Dean raised an eyebrow at her. She laughed sheepishly. “I mean… They’ve never dated. But there’s always been… Well, at least on Balthazar’s side.” She paused, biting her lip. “Cas never felt the same, though.”

Dean nodded. Some part of him felt relieved to hear that, but he shoved that thought away. “Well, that explains it, I guess.”

They walked in silence until they got to the school, close but not quite touching. When they got to the school, Dean paused outside the gymnasium. Robin looked at him, curious. 

“Here, let me just…” He trailed off, taking the (thornless) rose from Robin’s hand. He broke off part of the step and tucked the flower in her hair. She laughed and grabbed his hand.

“Come on, they’re playing my favorite song!” she exclaimed, and Dean joined her reluctantly. 

It took a few songs, but eventually Dean found himself having fun. He had never learned how to dance, but he did his best to spin Robin around a few times and keep in time with the music. He never realized he could have this much fun at a lame school dance. 

Well, he was having fun, until he glanced at the entrance and his eyes fell on Cas. He was wearing a suit that didn’t quite fit him and his hair was ruffled a little more purposefully than it usually was. His blue eyes shone like actual fucking stars under the dim lights and Dean couldn’t breathe for a moment.

He almost dropped Robin before he came to his senses. “Sorry,” he mumbled. 

Robin looked to where he was staring and she smiled knowingly. “Just go talk to him.”

Dean shook his head, eyes wide. “Hell no. Balthazar will break my fucking nose.” 

Robin rolled her eyes. “No he won’t. He’s protective but he also knows how much Cas cares about you.”

Dean frowned. “What?”

Shaking her head, Robin turned him around and started pushing him towards Cas. “Don’t worry about it. Just go!”

Dean stumbled a bit as she shoved him, but once he was moving he couldn’t stop his feet from taking him to Cas. Swallowing nervously, Dean walked up to Cas and cleared his throat softly.

Cas turned, startled, and Charlie and Balthazar looked at him with surprise and rage respectively. “Dean?”

“You’ve got some fucking nerve--”

“Bal,” Charlie cut in softly, putting her hand on his shoulder to keep him from lunging at Dean. 

“Hey, Cas,” Dean choked out. What the hell was he doing? “Look, I…” Dammit, Dean. Pull it together. “Can we talk?”

Cas looked like he was going to say something but he just nodded silently. He looked back at Balthazar and Charlie and smiled a bit. It’s okay, he told them without words. Balthazar relaxed a bit, but he wasn’t happy about it. 

“Come on, let’s get some punch,” Charlie said, grabbing Balthazar’s hand and dragging him away. 

Dean and Cas stood there in silence for a few moments. When Dean didn’t speak, Cas squinted at him. “Dean? Is everything alright?”

Dean took a steadying breath and shook his head. It was now or never, he thought. “No. It’s not.” Cas’s face was confused so Dean continued. “Can we go outside where it’s a little more… private?” 

Cas nodded and followed Dean out to the courtyard. They walked for a bit before Dean stopped and turned to face him. “I… I miss you,” he managed in a shaky voice. “I miss talking to you. I miss… touching you, a-and flirting with you.” His voice cracked on the last word and he cleared his throat. “Dammit, I miss all of it, Cas.”

“Dean, I--”

“Cas, please, just--” Dean stared at him, pleading. “I gotta say this, okay? Before you walk away or whatever. I know I screwed up and I scared the hell outta’ you at the carnival and I understand why you hate me but--”

“Dean,” Cas cut in, more insistent this time, and Dean shut his mouth. “I don’t hate you,” he said, frowning. “You… you really thought I could ever hate you?”

Dean frowned, confused. “You… you don’t? But you… You ran away after…”

“I know,” Cas said, sighing. “I’m sorry. But I assure you it wasn’t because I hate you. Quite the opposite, actually.”

“Cas…” 

“Dean, you have no idea,” Cas breathed out, shaking his head and staring down at the ground. 

“I might,” Dean whispered, his voice low and thick with emotion. “I… I might have some idea.” 

Cas lifted his head and gasped quietly when Dean was standing only a few inches away. He was all too aware of Dean’s hand coming to rest gently on his neck, of his fingers burying themselves in his hair. His skin prickled under the touch and he stared up at Dean in stunned silence. 

“Cas,” Dean murmured, leaning forward until their foreheads touched. Cas could almost hear Dean’s heartbeat. “I… I want to…”

Cas nodded, an almost imperceptible motion but it was enough, and then Dean’s lips were on his. Cas made a soft noise in the back of his throat and Dean put his free hand on his hip, pulling him closer. He couldn’t seem to remember how to move for a moment, then he had the sense to wrap his arms around Dean’s shoulders, leaning into the kiss. Soft, warm lips, peppermint and cologne, gentle fingers under Cas’s suit jacket and over his white cotton shirt. 

Too soon, Dean was breaking away to breathe, though he didn’t go far. His forehead was still pressed against Cas’s and his hands roamed a bit, to his jaw, to the small of his back, gentle and unsure. When Cas opened his eyes, Dean was staring at him, doubt and insecurity written all over his face. Cas simply couldn’t have that. He tilted his chin up and kissed Dean lightly, more brief this time, but it was enough to smooth the hard lines of Dean’s features into a relieved smile. 

There was no way in hell Cas was running away from him, not this time. Not ever. 

Cas’s hand fell to Dean’s side and their hands met in the middle to create a jumble of entwined fingers and slightly sweaty palms. Brilliant, giddy smiles graced both of their faces and Dean closed his eyes, laughing breathlessly. 

“That was…”

“Yeah,” Cas whispered, and Dean felt his breath on his lips. “It was.”

“Do you…” Dean cleared his throat nervously, opening his eyes again. “Do you want to go dance with me?” 

“I think I’d rather you walk me home,” Cas told him. “If that’s okay.”

Dean smiled. “Yeah. Yeah, that’s okay.” 

Neither of them could move for a while, as if they were afraid if they did it would all be over. Dean almost believed Cas would vanish as soon as he let him out of his sight. 

As if reading his thoughts, Cas met his eyes. “I’m not going anywhere,” he promised, closing his eyes and pressing his lips to Dean’s for a few long seconds. “I already made that mistake once.”

Dean let out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding, and he couldn’t help but smile. “Me neither. I don’t wanna leave.” 

Dean’s heart clenched. It was the first time he’d admitted it out loud. He honestly didn’t know if his dad was ever coming back for him, but he didn’t think he even wanted him to.

And when Cas actually beamed at him, he knew he wouldn’t care if his dad left him here forever. 

Finally separating just enough that they could walk, they started heading back to Sonny’s. Dean didn’t let go of Cas’s hand for even a second.They frequently bumped shoulders and shared ecstatic glances as they walked in a comfortable silence. They hadn’t actually said much out loud, but they both thought that kiss had just about covered it. 

Dean was so caught up in the feeling of Cas’s hand in his and the thrilled racing of his heart that he almost didn’t hear the rustling in the bushes behind them. Almost. 

He wheeled around just in time to shove Cas out of the way and take a full swipe of sharp claws to the face. He groaned loudly through gritted teeth and stumbled back, instinctively going for his knife. 

After taking a moment to assess the situation and get a better look at what had hit him, he could clearly see it was a werewolf. “Son of a bitch,” he muttered. “Cas, get out of here!”

He prayed that Cas listened to him, but he couldn’t risk looking back to be sure. The werewolf, a crazed-looking dude with blond hair and a torn up shirt, lunged at him again and Dean swung his knife, grazing its arm. With an angry growl, the creature recoiled back and Dean took his shot. He jumped forward to stab the werewolf but fell short. The werewolf pinned him to the ground and he groaned, his knife knocked a few feet out of reach. It was all Dean could do to keep its claws and teeth from tearing him apart. 

And all of that was fine, until he saw out of the corner of his eye that Cas was still standing there, frozen in place. “Cas, dammit, run!” Dean cried desperately. His heart dropped when the monster paused to look back at where Cas was standing. The werewolf jumped off of Dean and growled before lunging at Cas. Dean rushed after it, heart pounding with fear and adrenaline.

A second before it could lay a claw on Cas, the werewolf jolted to a halt with an agonized whine, falling to the ground with Dean’s silver knife stuck through its heart. 

Dean fell to his knees shortly after. He was bleeding from a pretty deep cut on his upper arm, soaking his sleeve, but thankfully no bites. 

“Dean?” Cas choked out. “What… what the hell was that? How did you…”

Dean looked up at him with a defeated expression. There was really no getting around it after that. “You want the truth?”

“Yes I want the truth!” Even as Cas said it, he wasn’t entirely sure he did. Still, he got down on his knees, level with Dean, and stared at him pleadingly. Scared, confused, but blessedly unharmed. 

“That was a werewolf,” Dean said, and Cas laughed incredulously. When Dean’s face remained serious, though, his laugh was cut short. Dean wasn’t kidding. 

“A werewolf,” Cas said slowly, and it felt silly coming out of his mouth. “How… How can that be a werewolf? It was… Well, it looked human. Kind of.” 

Dean nodded. “Yeah, common mistake. They don’t get all furry and wolf-out. But the name stuck because of the full moon thing I guess.”

Cas stared at him for a long moment, trying to wrap his head around that. He couldn’t. He shook his head a few times and frowned. “That’s impossible. There’s no such thing as werewolves. They’re just a myth.”

“Trust me,” Dean said, grunting softly in pain. “They’re very real. Oh, and ghosts, too. Vampires, shapeshifters, witches, the whole deal. All real.”

Cas shook his head again, baffled. He couldn’t believe this. “How… how do you know all of this? This-This is crazy!”

“Yeah, tell me about it,” Dean huffed, laughing a bit then turning serious again. “But it’s the truth. I should know because I… Well, my dad and my brother and I, we hunt monsters. We save people.”

“You…” Cas frowned. “You hunt monsters.” Dean nodded. “And… every scary story I’ve ever heard, that’s all real?”

Dean managed a half smile. “Well, not everything. The loch ness monster is a hoax. Far as I can tell, anyway.” 

Cas huffed out an incredulous laugh, but he could tell Dean was telling the truth. As insane as it was. “So… the guy at the carnival, was he…?”

Dean frowned. “I think he was another hunter. Someone my dad must have pissed off at some point.” 

Cas let out a shaky breath, then shook his head. He still wasn’t sure if he believed it, but he knew one thing that was real, and that was that Dean was bleeding. “Are you okay to stand?” he asked, his voice unsteady. “We’ve gotta get you cleaned up.”

Dean nodded, letting Cas help him to his feet. “I’m fine, Cas, I promise. I’ve had worse.”

The thought made Cas nauseous. If Dean was telling the truth, then he was risking his life every day to help people. It was admirable, sure, but Cas knew it also meant Dean wouldn’t always come out alive.

“Let’s just get back to Sonny’s,” Cas said, trying to stay focused on taking care of Dean’s injuries. Glancing at the scratches across his cheek, Cas realized with a start that he was only alive because of Dean. “Why would you jump in the way like that? It could’ve killed you.”

Dean shrugged, wincing and holding his arm. He offered a hesitant smile. “I couldn’t let you get hurt.” As if it was as simple as that. Maybe it was, Cas thought. Maybe Dean really did care about him more than Cas had ever even imagined. “Alright, enough of that sappy bullshit,” he said with an awkward laugh. “I’m bleedin’ here.” 

Cas smiled and took his hand, and they continued towards Sonny’s. As they walked, Cas couldn’t help himself. “Why tonight? I mean, why… I thought you were into Robin, not me. What made you stay away for so long?”

Dean glanced up at Cas. He was pretty sure he made his feelings pretty damn clear with that kiss, but he should’ve known it wouldn’t be that easy. “I thought you wanted nothin’ to do with me,” he said gruffly. “I figured you wanted space.”

“It’s more than that,” Cas said skeptically, studying him. Dean shifted uncomfortably. “What were you so afraid of?”

“I… I wasn’t…” No, he couldn’t lie to Cas. Not anymore. Not about this. Sighing, he grabbed Cas’s arm and pulled him in so they were inches apart. Cas gasped softly, staring up at him. “Cas… After you kissed me, I didn’t know what to think. I thought it was just… getting caught in the moment or some crap. But I couldn’t stop thinking about you. I wanted to kiss you again, I wanted to hold you, I wanted to tell you…” he trailed off. He knew once he said the words there would be no going back. “I was so goddamn terrified, Cas, because I wanted to tell you that I… I…”

“Tell me what, Dean?” Cas whispered, inching closer. 

“I… wanted to tell you that I lo--”

A familiarly loud engine rumbled from about a block away, back at Sonny’s, and Dean’s heart sank as his words trailed off. All thoughts of telling Cas that he… well, telling him how he felt, flew out the window. His dad was back, and Sammy…

All thoughts of being selfish and staying -- because fuck did he want to stay -- left his mind when he thought of his brother. Sam needed him, and it was Dean’s responsibility to take care of him. Nothing that Dean wanted was as important as that.

“I… I have to go, Cas. I’m so sorry.” He pulled away, dropping Cas’s hand, and turned around so he didn’t have to see the hurt on Cas’s face. 

“Dean, wait!” Cas pleaded, “Where are you… Dean!”

He grabbed Dean’s hand and then they were standing face to face again. Dean didn’t know how to tell Cas that he didn’t want to go, but he didn’t have a choice. He didn’t know how to tell him that he wanted nothing more than to stay there with Cas and never go anywhere else ever again. He didn’t know how to say that he couldn’t have a normal life and he couldn’t do that to Cas. He didn’t know how to tell him that he loved him. 

A broken, desperate breath fell from Dean’s lips and then he was grabbing Cas’s face and kissing him with everything he had. Cas melted against him and his hands landed on Dean’s hips, fingers curling into his shirt. Dean moaned into his mouth, soft and wanting and heart-wrenchingly sad. 

Then, as quickly as it had begun, the kiss was over, and Dean was forcing himself to pull away from Cas. “I… I’m sorry,” he whispered, not meeting his eyes. “I have to go.”

And with that, Dean was gone. And, somehow, Cas just knew that he wasn’t coming back.

@brangaene @gggghik @sold-my-soul-for-spn

#destiel #destiel fic #destiel rp #dean winchester #castiel novak #sonny's home for boys #my fic

[trying-write-fanfics]

Shinso Hitoshi X Reader part 25

Class was delayed the next morning. Police were all over interviewing people on campus. The word spread and it was worse than what Shinso could ever thought. The trio went to Y/n’s place after the entire rematch drama. When they got to Y/n’s something was off her parents weren’t home. Upon investigating there was a stranger in the home. He told the students they could give Y/n up or die. 

They chose to fight, but there were enemies lurking. Sonny tried using her quirk and blew her legs out. Y/n was able to knock one of the men out, but she ended up with a concussion. Benny had scraps and scrapes. He needed stitches, but thanks to him, he was able to carry both his friends out of the house to safety. Y/n’s parents on the other hand were being held by someone. 

Motive was clear. A criminal group was looking for a healer. What didn’t make sense was who released this information. Where she lived, her quirk, who would want to hurt her? Benny and Sonny were off the suspicious list since they were both injured. 

“Is the home school trip gonna be okay?” Mina asked Aizawa in the middle of class.

“The three of them are in stable condition right now.”  Aizawa said.

He wasn’t sure honestly. He didn’t like the idea of villains going after a healer, and showed it was perfect for them. She would have Been too weak to fight, after her retreat and getting burned from Bakugo. If she didn’t have her friends with her, who knows what would happen. Would they even release her parents for getting the target, or would they make them suffer.

After training Mina was able to get the hospital the three were at. It wasn’t hard to find since Sonny had been texting Mina. She said she was bored as hell since she couldn’t walk. Her legs were hurt from using her quirk a little too hard and her star healer was…

“I don’t actually know about Y/n’s condition.” Sonny told the trio. “Benny came in a while ago, but he has to stay the night because they’re unsure if he has a concussion or not. I know Y/n does, but the cops have also been up her butt all day.”

“We heard the story was the attackers were originally trying to kidnap Y/n, and use her parents as hostages. Why would anyone do that just to secure a healer?” Mina asked.

“She’s a valuable asset.” Sonny sighed.

“Do her parents have healing quirks? Why not kidnap them?” Denki asked.

Sonny actually smiled, it was a little funny after getting the shit beat out of her to hear that.

“No, (nickname) had a healing mutation. Her dad can have things float around him while her mom can harden her skin in tiny amounts. Her father was skeptical when her quirk was developing. They did a paternity test to find out she really was his kid.” Sonny explained.

“Oh, thats rough.” Denki said.

“It was what it was. They can’t complain too much since their daughter was always going to have job security.”

The police were interviewing who would do this, who had access to all the information, a family friend, a business competitor, her parents weren’t shy about bragging about their daughter it seemed. Which only made the pressure worse for Y/n. The funny thing about healers is they can’t consciously heal themselves. They can do a minimal amount in their sleep, but it’s something her parents were trying to make her learn. Once they learned their daughter’s healings abilities went past closing wounds, but releasing tension headaches, going deeper than skin, they thought there was more to be done. It was never enough. (Full name) would be the best healer the world has ever seen. That’s like the best case scenario. 

“You think we could go check on her?” Shinso asked Sonny. 

Sonny tensed up at that question. She knew Y/n would love visitors that weren’t police down her throat, blaming her for her parents getting kidnapped, but it also meant someone taking her spot in Y/n’s life.

“Yeah, probably. Just tell them you’re friends with her.” Sonny sighed. 

“I can stay with you here!” Mina offered. 

Denki gave Shinso a smug looked and a nudge.

“I’ll stay here too, I don’t often get to be blesssed by Sonny’s radiating beauty.” Denki announced

“I’m gay.” Sonny said.

“I didn’t say we needed to fall in love, I was just calling you beautiful.” Denki said, giving Shinso a chance to be alone with Y/n.

And Shinso took it. He made his way towards the reception desk to find a different blond already there...holding a vase full of flowers. 

“Why are you here? Aren’t you a little loud for the patients? They already probably have burst ear drums.” Shinso asked.

“Shut it eye bags.” Bakugo growled.

“What are those?”

“Are you blind dipshit? They’re flowers.”

“Don’t tell me you’re-“

“My mom is making me. Aizawa emailed her letting her know that I’m just a nuance.” Bakugo said. 

They weren’t roses, but Shinso still knew to be on guard. 

“She’ll like them. She had a bad night, not just because of you.” Shinso said.

“Oh fuck off. Why haven’t you seen her yet?” 

“I saw Sonny first.” Shinso answered. 

The door was shut where Y/n was staying. Since Bakugo’s hands were full, Shinso knocked and heard no answer. There wasn’t any talking behind the door so Bakugo glared saying to just open it anyway. However this did not reveal a sleeping beauty. Instead they found a stripped bed and an open window. Shinsou rushed to the window to find Y/n was still climbing down. She was in casual clothes, but still had a bandaged face.

“Y/n!” Shinso yelled down.

The girl looked up straight up red handed. 

“What?” She yelled back up.

“What are you doing?!”

Bakugo went to the window.

“What the hell are you doing dumb ass!?” Bakugo yelled.

“What does it look like!” She yelled back up. 

Bakugo’s eyebrow twitched. Shinso began to run down the stairs as Bakugo blasted himself out of the window. Not wanting to get caught, she slide down her rope sheets faster and dropped to the ground. Instead of running she did more of a power walk. Bakugo landed and started rushing beside her.

“What the hell are you doing?” He asked again.

“I don’t have time for this.”

“Tell me what the hell is going on?” Bakugo got angrier.

“My parents got kidnapped because of me.” She growled.

“Why aren’t you going to the police or anyone else about this? You’re still hurt.” Bakugo grabbed her by her injured wrist which made her hiss in pain. “Sorry!” He let go. 

“Listen, I gotta did this on my own. Too many people are already involved and have gotten hurt.” Y/n explained.

“You’re gonna give yourself up?” Bakugo snarled. “That’s the last thing anyone wants!”

“I’m not giving myself up.” Y/n said. “I’m gonna rescue my parents, myself.”

“You have a concussion.”

“I got out of a four story window.”

Shinso finally made it to them. Y/n went back to walking as Bakugo caught Shinso up to speed of Y/n’s very poor plan.

“See really is messed up because anyone with half a brain would know that’s a terrible plan!” Bakugo yelled

“Wait do you know who kidnapped your parents?” Shinso asked.

“Yeah…” she said, clearly not going to tell.

“Use your fucking messed up quirk on her.” Bakugo commanded. “Well tell them police and they’ll fix it.”

There was no way in hell Shinso was doing that. 

“Did they send you a ransom note?” Shinso the detective asked. 

“Yeah.”

So she knew where she was going.

“If you two are going to follow me all the way there, you might as well help.” She sighed.

“You have to tell us what we’re up against before we agree to shit.” Bakugo said. 

“I don’t know why you're up against if I’m being honest. I don’t think the main guy is gonna be there.”

“Then why the hell are we going there?” Bakugo asked.

“Are you sure your parents are at this location?” Shinso asked. 

“I’m not sure.” Y/n said beginning to realize the holes in her plan. “But I’m sure with you’re help we’ll be able to get information we need.”

She stopped in front of a tall abandoned building. Y/n guided them inside like she had been there so many times before. It was dusty, full of rubble. The pillars were wore down, and bits of sun light seeped through the cracks. They climbed stars covered in ash. 

“Just stay back until it doesn’t sound good.” She whispered before they left the stair way.

#hitoshi shinso x reader #hitoshi shinsou #shinsou hitoshi #shinso hitoshi x reader #xreader #series #bnh #bnha x reader #bnha fanfiction

[queerbennyweir]

My Babysitter’s a Vampire Fanfiction Recommendation List

Spellbound: The Curse of the Lucifractor by Dxlilith

Benny is aware of a few things. One is that he is awake and having his eyes open is only slightly less dark than having them closed. Another is that he's lying on a pile of warmth.

I Still Want To Dream About Us By: HelloOfficer07

Sometimes, in the midst of fighting monsters and evil vampires, you kind of accidentally start dating your best friend and don't realize it.

Ice Cool Whitechapel by ArthM

Whitechapel seems to weather whatever is thrown at it. Needless to say, it's normally unlikely to be from natural causes, and things must be set right. Read on to find out how new problems are dealt with in episodes of what is, essentially, an alternative series. Pretty much a general fic, but with a romantic sub-plot which will resolve one way or another.

We Found Love In Many Hopeless Places by The Black Agenda

A collection of related one-shots and drabbles surrounding the adventures of Bethan and their friends. Come along the journey as we learn how these two managed to find love in many hopeless, and pretty reckless, places.

Have A Little Confidence by MarsInsane

Ethan’s acting lovestruck but the object of his affections is Benny. Love spell 2.0?

bet-bet-better by loafoftoast

or: Grandma Weir owns a dance studio, Ethan makes a bet, and Benny finally gets to say I told you so.

summer slipped us underneath her tongue by cydbys

The summer started like this: Benny, on his new skateboard, looking back over his shoulder at Ethan. The summer continued with Benny taking a turn too fast, and then he's a sprawling mess of too long limbs on the concrete. Ethan will remember the feeling of being unable to ease the pain that is so close to you for the rest of his life.

You Spin Me Right Round by mrsvc

A high school party with Spin the Bottle; what could go wrong?

true love’s curse by Menacherie

Still, if he remembers anything it was the way that she loved him and his dad, and the way that dad couldn’t even love him after she died, like he wasn’t there anymore.

His grandmother told him it was true love’s curse when he asked about it once.

He shook his head and told her he was never falling in love like that and she just smiled and ran a hand through his hair.

Vampire Blood by LadyMaito

Ethan was fifteen when he was stolen out of his room by Jesse Black, a possessive vampire with much ambition and few morals. Originally held captive for his magical properties and inability to fight back, Ethan gradually accepts the arrangement as fate. Years later, Ethan would find himself returning to Whitechapel- but under what circumstances?

Hot Damn by Alkyone Daze

You can't catch me, Gay Thoughts!

tender summer by juneymoony

Heads Will Roll by crystalballbenny

It's Halloween time in Whitechapel, and this year someone's stirring up the town by bringing everyone's greatest fears to life. Ethan, Benny, and the vampire trio are on a mission to stop them before things stop being harmless fun and become deadly. The only bad part? They have to catch and stop the culprit at Sarah's Halloween party, all decked out in costumes. Bethan!

The Promise of a Happy Ending by Evil Cosmic Triplets

Ethan has a vision, Benny's wondering about vampire's hair, and Rory is speaking pig latin.

Magic Led Me To You by Pa_tro_clus

Benny has had enough of Ethan’s pining over Sarah, so decides to perform a ritual to reveal Ethan’s soulmate. However, when he refuses, Benny casts the spell on himself, with some very unexpected results.

widest smiles, kindest eyes by halfwheeze

in which ethan realises he's in love with benny and immediately can't keep a damn thing to himself.

Love Is To Hate by TiredOfBeingNice

Gather around; I am gonna tell you a story that is so exciting, it makes the three little pigs very jealous!" Or: Hannah Price has an unfortunate encounter with a certain amulet that fuels her desire for revenge against anything and anyone that can love; including a certain Seer and spellmaster looking to bring some heat to their blossoming romance.

Closer: The Hunt For Ethan Morgan by oceanographerschoice

Ten years ago, in the aftermath of the Lucifractor explosion, Ethan Morgan abandoned Benny Weir, leaving him alone with their adopted daughter. Calloused and cold from years of resentment, he sets out with Erica to learn the truth about a cult, where Ethan went, and about the nature of his own humanity.

You Stole A Pizza My Heart by demonicbutterflies

The Pizza Paradise of Whitechapel was one of the most popular pizza places, always buzzing with life and populated with many the smitten teen taking their beloved on a date. However, one this particular Wednesday, Ethan Morgan was sitting motionless, staring at the company phone, that every Wednesday at precisely 6:02 PM would ring from Ethan’s least favorite customer ever. See, this customer never paid.

A Geek’s Romance by inosine

Benny discovers he's gay when he stumbles across something interesting in Ethan's browser history. Now Benny is on a mission to win Ethan over.

#fanfic rec #bethan #serica #jethan #fanfiction #my babysitter's a vampire #mbav

[almaasi]

reaction post typed while watching SPN 15x04 “Atomic Monsters”

in which Jensen’s directing blows my mind a little bit?? holy shit. also Dean is only eating phallic things... and the writer in me is reeling. SOMEONE TELL ME THAT WAS JENSEN SINGING THAT SONG PLEASE

--

07:01pm

mostly what i wanna do right now is eat and watch queer eye buuuut i guess i should watch this first. hopefully it’s fun?? i do not want my heart ripped out or to be squicked right now

-

07:04

oh no........ becky

i like her as a character but ew ew ew all of her life choices and the way she treats sam

fingers crossed for character development

PLEASE DON’T DIE

i mean .....i don’t LIKE her but still

-

07:08

i can’t tell if the audio on my video file is fucked up or whether there’s supposed to be a voiceover here while dean’s shooting people while wearing a very nice beard

because it’s very much drowned out

-

07:10

oh hey benny

soooo this is some kind of au fic maybe

-

i uh.... fully expected dean to kiss benny right then

-

07:13 

definitely a voiceover drowned out on purpose

vaguely heard “title” as the titlecard came up

okay, interesting

-

07:15

DEAN GOT VEGGIE BACON

yee

-

sam: YOU GOTTA STOP CALLING YOURSELF THE MEAT MAN, IT DOESN’T MEAN WHAT YOU THINK IT MEANS

OHHHHH SAMMY No i think he knows exactly what it means, and what it sounds like

-

dean: yeah it does

TOLD YOU. bi baby

-

07:18

real bacon

DEAN YOU VEGETABLE-HATING ASSHOLE

-

07:22

dean and his flask this season..... guess he’s gone back to quiet alcoholism

-

07:23

wow........ becky has not aged a DAY

-

07:27

becky: they just sit around and do laundry and talk

okay NOW i relate to becky

thank youuuu davy perez for letting her grow and recognize her awful awful awful mistakes

-

chuck: eeeeeeh, people like monsters

becky: meh

HELL YEAH

i mean i love monster stories but i love laundry more

-

07:29

there’s a tall cas doll in becky’s bookshelf, yay~

which.... honestly looks like a white tennis ball on a roll of paper with wings attached but still

-

07:33

cas is gone and dean is eating SO MUCH

> meat man bacon (textual penis euphemism)

> pretzels (twisted, salty rather than sweet, metaphor for Not Straight)

> alcohol (DESPAIR)

> hot dog (phallic)

-

i can’t put screenshots on my posts anymore bc tumblr sucks BUT

as dean’s sitting with the hot dog, in the shot that contains sam, there’s BISEXUAL BICYCLES

-

07:40

sam holds a hyponeedle behind his back

i’m wondering if they’d become a little out of character if chuck is writing them again

-

07:42

i’d say the orchid is significant

there’s a pink one in the house of the dad/mom/son, and the speech-making cheerleader mentioned ghost orchids

edit: nah

-

07:44

aww there’s a lil cas pop figure thingy!!! yay team free will!!!

-

07:45

chuck: fan..fic. it’s not really the same

becky: writing’s writing!!

YES BECKY

-

07:52

becky: no-one even mentions cas

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS BECKY

-

07:54

flashback to the son biting the girl’s neck, the music kind of halfway there

the directing of this is fascinating

like a music video, it’s ethereal

and... you know when you hear JUST enough of a good chord from a song but you don’t hear the rest and it’s like MMM but just an inch away from satisfying but not in a bad way?? like breathing in a meal you’re not going to eat. like walking past a bakery and not going inside. you want it but you can’t have it, IT TEASES

AND I JUST LOOKED UP THE DIRECTOR AND IT’S JENSEN

WOW. OKAY DUDE 3000 KUDOS TO YOU

this isn’t a tv show, it’s art. like. he just made art. wow 

wowow

-

there are SO MANY LAYERS HERe, particularly in the audio

the kid talking, chuck’s voiceover, the music in the truck, the heartbeat and roaring sound effects, the kid and the girl breathing and grunting in the flashback

it’s like... sensory overload but at the same time it’s delicious

.....you know what?? this scene is beyond incredible, because not only is is beautiful for what it is, but also for what it represents

because i was just thinking that this feeling, this blast and blur of ALL THE THINGS ALL AT ONCE AT THE APEX OF EMOTION feels exactly like the part where i’m writing a story and everything’s happening so fast and i gotta type AS THINGS ARE HAPPENING and words just flood from my fingertips and my heart is pounding and the world no longer exists, i’m kind of out of my body but no longer have a body

and

like

that’s literally what’s happening. all of this. is chuck writing in that exact moment, unresponsive to becky, WRITING THINGS INTO EXISTENCE

i told my family a while ago, there are some stories only a Writer can write. when they write about being a Writer and you can tell it’s so personal and would be related to the most by other writers. and davy perez has done exactly this here, with becky being us, the fandom, but then there’s THIS

that flood of Everything All At Once is illustrated PERFECTLY, not just in the text, but the way jensen obviously understood the feeling and illustrated it in such a way that i didn’t even remember the layer of this story where chuck’s writing until i was all “hey this feels like that writer thing” and IT’S EXACTLY THAT

this is mind-blowing a little bit??? i really really love this

goddamn

-

08:09

ooooooh a vampire trying to save the winchesters from humans

-

08:11

.....who’s singing this song? kind of?? sounds like jensen???

it’s probably not jensen but 100% chance he picked the song

that long note as the girl’s taken out on the stretcher. oh man it REALLY sounds like jensen

....i listened again and....... the word “SOUnds”

no, yeah, that’s jensen. the way he kind of hurls a big note up through his chest yet it comes out soft with just that teeeeny touch of huskiness?? that’s gotta be jensen

if it’s not jensen i’ll be v surprised. might be a friend of his maybe. but there’s a personal connection there definitely

edit: NO IT HAS TO BE JENSEN. IT IS RIGHT??? SOMEONE TELL ME IT IS

*misha at jibcon voice* we get a tingly feeling when we hear it so we know it’s you

-

08:17

becky: it’s AWFUL. HOPELESS. you can’t do this to the fans

i can’t tell if that textual awareness combined with my dread about the upcoming ending of the show makes me glad the writers understand, or worried that they understand but are gonna give us a dark, hopeless ending anyway

-

08:20

did the voiceover just say “bexy becky”

-

08:23

dean: now that chuck’s gone... we are..... finally free

oh no baby

oh no

-

08:26

laughing bc the ending was just “next to him sit dean and sam bobbleheads”

the end

guess it’s kind of a cause-and-effect thing. chuck types, they wobble

-

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH MAN

at least becky’s not dead right?? at least according to chuck talking about her family

CHUCK IS THE ABSOLUTE WORST.

i’m so glad becky is a stable, healthily creative human who obeys consent now and is repulsed by what she did to sam

i probably don’t need to say it again but the directing in this was phenomenal, if highly unusual compared to other episodes. there was a lot of... force in it? actually now i think it about it, it had jensen’s energy. smooth and flowing with smacks of Hell Yeah and some twangs of discomfort thrown in.

also dean’s food was phallic, fight me

i think the bicycles thing probably meant less than the food did, jensen’s way more straightforward with his dick jokes. like, if he’s gonna be gay, he goes for it, doesn’t hide it in the background. someone else put those bicycles there, and he was probably like “ok sure”.

(also? dean’s “nice beaver” quip, followed by the fact that THE PERSON INSIDE THE BEAVER FURSUIT IS A GUY)

i bet i’m gonna get on tumblr after this and someone’s gonna be like “hey here’s the song that was in this episode and yeah it’s off jensen’s new album”

i’m interested to see where this story goes next. but also WOW, i’m not into the fact chuck is manipulating the storyline again and the winchesters aren’t aware of it. curious flip regarding consent issues, with chuck and becky. now chuck’s the violator and becky’s the voice of reason

anyway this was 10/10, and i’m happy to report that after i got past the scene with the red lights in the bunker, and made it to the brothers eating bacon, i’d completely forgotten i wanted to be watching something else and began to fully enjoy this episode~ yay

#spn spoilers #15x04 #atomic monsters #season 15 #Elmie watches things #spn #post of postiness #Jensen singing #??? #director!Jensen

[notjustthegoodguys]

Ship Bias

Mun’s favorite ships!!! Accepting

Obviously I’m bias af when it comes to oc x canon.  I think that shows but i’m gonna do five ships for a few different of my muses!!!

First up, Daryl Dixon- 

Daryl x Rose Lane ( @ironmarkrose ) - This is my go to for Daryl.  Because of my love for Rose the second I watched this show I knew they needed to be a thing and it has been beautiful.  Rose breaks down his guard and makes him a better man.Daryl x Rick - this is my brotp/otp!  there is so much love and tension between these two.  i love how no matter what they always find a way to work out their shit and come together.  And c’mon did you see his face when he lost rick?!  Daryl x Maggie - Okay hear me out here, I just think he totally blames himself for Glenn’s death so I can see him stepping up to be dad for Herschel!  That familiarness would totally grow between them and lead to some hella interesting pining.  I think it would eventually just fall into this natural rhythm and they wouldn’t even realize it at first.Daryl x Connie - Need I say more? Girl can put up with his shit and put him in his place.  Them together is a deadly hot combo.Daryl x Aaron - There are so many reasons I love this pairing.  From the time the party welcoming them happened and Daryl went to have dinner with Aaron and Eric I knew i wanted this to be a thing.  I think canonically Daryl is pan leaning more toward men so it makes total sense for him to hang out with the towns one gay couple and after Eric’s death I just feel like it should have happened.  

Greed -

Greed x Niall Wen ( @magicaltalents ) - So Alex and i were talking about them and it fucking melts my heart.  These two together would be pure chaos but it would be so beautiful.  Greed would die for Niall and his daughter in a second.  I need all of this in my life asap.  Greed x Ling - Obviously this is huge in the fanom and i love it.  Ling was Greed’s balance.  He opened his eyes to so much and made him a better person.  Having Ling accept him was the moment Greed went from a Sin to a full character.  They are soulmates!Greed x Edward - These two would be chaos embodied.  It would be so sassy with each other but alone so soft.  Greed would be so loving with him and protect Edward fiercely. Plus anyone who can kick Greed’s ass is hot in his book.Greed x Roy - So this is a fairly new ship i never though much about until @burningflamesofhell.  I think they two have great chemistry.  I know they would be good for each other.  Roy would help him to learn to deal with things and become more human and Greed would help roy with anything he needed.  he would destroy the world for the right person and roy could be that person.Greed x Ling x Ed - this ship slays.  Greed sees them as his humans anyways so it would just be so cute.  I think these boys would do so much good for my baby.

Dean Winchester - 

Dean x Castiel - I don’t think anyone can watch this show and not ship them.  I mean basically the writers are always baiting us.  Sadly it will never be canon but it is in my heart!  Castiel did everything for him.  I love them sm.Dean x Onyx Snow ( @a-murder-of-muses ) - So there is just so much build up between them.  They find each other at such a vulnerable time for them and it just works.  Onyx can handle him and she helps make him feel like he isn’t so broken.Dean x Rose Lane ( @ironmarkrose ) - Rose is just good and dammit dean needs that.  he needs someone to make his world less bleak and remind him that he can still be himself.  he hates himself so damn much but rose makes that a little better.  I know it would be such a slow burn but so worth it.Dean x Benny - Dean and his vampire boyfriend make me so happy.  Benny taught him so much and made him such a better man.  I love thought of Benny owning his own diner and Dean coming to eat and catch up while they make eyes at each other.  The only thing that keeps dean from going to him is Sam.Dean x Billie - I mean these two would be absolutely terrifying but also so great.  I mean the possibilities here are endless.  I think they would be a good balance for each other and she would be the one person who could handle his shit like always trying to sacrifice himself for some b.s.

Steve Rogers - 

Steve x Rose ( @ironmarkrose ) - My ships with Steve or so limited because he is such a hard character but he has so much to offer.  Rose is his ideal woman.  He wanted someone strong enough but also a typical housewife and rose is happy to do that which is why she is so good for him.  I love these pairing so much.  They are sooooo important and valid.  My fave ship for steve.Steve x Peggy - This is such a valid and important ship.  Peggy shaped so much of who steve is.  she is his first love and I adore the passion he carries for her.  he will always love and respect her!!!Steve x Sam Wilson - I just like them together.  I can’t even express how cute they would be.  Sam would always give him hell about everything while Steve would always be outshining him.  It would be a good friendly rivalry that turned into heated kissing and yeah i love them together.Steve x Wanda - This is strictly an MCU ship for me but i love the thought of them together.  I mean they have chemistry and i just really love the idea of them working through PTSD together and being cute af.That’s pretty much my only ships for him.  I’m open to more but i’m super picky when it comes Steve.  I don’t do S.tucky / S.tony.

#[ cause picking just one doesn't work for me ] #[ hope this works ] #ironmarkrose

[rockettransman]

Rocketman Watch #4 Thoughts

i have so many MORE thoughts can you believe it wow here we go

(i wrote these as i watched it so they’re in order im p sure)

man, his intro monologue during group therapy is just as gripping as it was when I first watched it. And the transition to the bitch is back is so fuckin good. My palms are sweating.

There’s some commentary about forgiving and loving your inner/past child, but I don’t have the words for it at this moment. In the beginning he’s staring down, confused and scowling at his child self, but at the end, he embraces him in a way his father and loved ones never did.

Was he in therapy/rehab WHILE touring and doing music? Stomping into the room in his regalia would have me believe so. I know group therapy was a medium for storytelling. Was it just signaling the very beginning of his story, because we go through different stages through his actions and clothing changes?

Lmao I imagine it must take some pretty cool parents to allow their, like, six or seven year old child to be in this movie. He said bitch so many times.

Took me a hot second to realize the orchestra he’s conducting is playing Rocket Man. The violins are so pretty. Imagine being picked to be in the orchestra on set and getting smile up at the tiny little kid who played Elton. My heart would absolutely swell seeing a little kid being so fantastic at this really intense job.

Kit Connor did amazing in his role. He’s fifteen and he’s already done so much! Imagine growing up knowing you played Elton John as a kid. Getting to work alongside him and his husband and the dozens of incredible actors. Wowie. I’d never shut up about it.

I LOVE how 12 year old Elton is playing the piano SO HARD and is trying to rock out as hard as he can while playing classical music. The boy wanna ROCK dammit.

HE GLANCED UP THE TINIEST BIT WHEN THE MAN ASKED IF ANYONE HAD A FAG (slang for cigarette)

SATURDAY NIGHTS ALRIGHT GIVES ME CONSTANT CHILLS FROM THE START TO FINISH

WOOOW SEVENTEEN YEAR OLD ELTON IS CUTE AS HEEELLLL. The hair, glasses, and front tooth gap fit Taron so well. Goddamn I hope I look like 17 year old Elton some day.

The choreography for this number is absolutely breathtaking. You have to get that many people all in sync! We followed Elton running through the crowd and AAHHH it was a lot! The athleticism! And they did it in the rain! Wow I’m blow away.

Elton is JAMMIN in the back of the stage. It’s really sweet to see his smile and enthusiasm and his brain thinking and working.

That guy in the back peed a LOT lmao

I was wondering where thank you for all of your loving came in.

Charlie Rowe plays Ray Williams, and he also plays LEO ROTH from Red Band Society!!! The first time I watched the movie, I KNEW him from somewhere, but I couldn’t place it and it was driving me nuts. Man. RBS was a big crutch during the worst lows of my ED. Had no idea he was English.

Love to see how shy Elton was as a teenager. It’s a hot ass mood. Also, those silk scarves? Ascots? idk but they’re a LOOK.

“One frothy coffee, no froth.”

The acquaintances-to-best-friends montage set to Border Song *chefs kiss*

Rock And Roll Madonna Is A Perfect Song Send Tweet

Lmao Elton is NOT phased at all when he gets accused of being gay. He’s just like. “Nah. I’m like. Not.” Not overly defensive and surprised, like I’m sure other people would be lmaooo

STUMBLING HOME DRUNK WITH YOUR BEST FRIEND IS A MILESTONE IN TEENAGEHOOD!!!!!!!

“You are a ssSSHHIIIITT HOT piano player—”

So delicate of Bernie the way he politely denied a kiss from him. It wasn’t weird or tense at all. Just a gentle “love you, but not that way. It’s okay” Some people may not be able to handle it that well even today.

Taron’s got nice thighs. That robe & underwear getup is a nice look.

Love love LOVE hearing him experiment with Your Song on the piano to find a melody that worked.

Honestly what the shit do these songs even mean. Bernie sometimes these words don’t make any sense. Don’t worry, they still slap. “See I’ve forgotten if they’re green or they’re blue” like what

AMOREENA IS A PERFECT SONG SEND TWEET

Doug flirting with Bernie makes me snort every time. “Oh, really? That’s.. cool.”

THE TROUBADOUR OUTFIT IS GOOD AS SHIT!!!!!!!!

“NO, BERNIE. YOU ARE UNDERREACTING.”

Taron was right. The overalls do make his ass look massive.

A week ago before this movie I was sick and fuckin TIRED of crocodile rock but now I can’t get enough of it. The movie transformed a lot of old songs I was sick of for me.

Imagine being a kind of shy, nervous kid, terrified to go on stage, but two and a half minutes later the entire venue is LOSING IT because they love the jam YOU WROTE. how cool for Elton.

I want a best friend platonic cheek kiss :(

Hmmmmm I’m wondering if they used the studio recordings that went on the album for the movie or have different movie-specific recordings. Tiny Dancer sounds a teeny bit different in the movie version.

Goddamn I sure hope Taron got to keep that jacket.

“So you liked the song, then?” “Not as much as the singer” *Elton glances away in gay panic*

LMFAO John said some weird colorful words to Elton that barely made sense and he was like OH FUCK GOTTA KISS HIM GOTTA KISS HIM

I’ve talked so much about the sex scene I don’t need to go on about it here. Go search the rocketman tag on my blog for my extensive gay thoughts about it.

Now I know glasses come OFF during sex

oh oh oh I was wondering where Hercules fell in the movie. I love how the songs he’s writing or getting notoriety for is played over the transition scenes.

Elton’s hand on his hip, knowing smirk as John enters the studio. “Hello.”

Bernie is like “HELLO are we RECORDING or are y’all gonna FUCK in the CLOSET?”

*vibrating* Honky Cat Honky Cat Honky Cat Honky Cat

Damn, the flowy white button down with the red pants really is a LOOK

The gestures, staring up at each other, leaning into each other, hands on each other’s chests, damn it makes me feel some typa way. Maybe their love WAS good and fun and exciting while they rode the high of everything before it all went so so bad.

Elton searching John’s gaze while he’s talking and looking like he’s not really paying attention, just looking for a kiss on the couch.. GOD I remember the honeymoon phase of my relationships. So much fun.

His dad going “N-Not really my thing.” That was a metaphor for his SEXUALITY TOO, huh.

Damn. He went to his dad’s to come out to him and he never even got to get to that part. He was just like “....nice shoes....” and even after all this time, didn’t show any interest in his music. If he never was into what he did, how could he even talk about being gay? I’m sure during that scene there were a lot of metaphors to sexuality but I didn’t bother to think much about them.

The eyebrow quirk after his dad says “ah—no. Could you make it out to Arthur?” DAMN Elton was like .. “really. This is what’s happening? Okay. Awesome.”

“What do you have to do to get a fucking drink around here, eh?” *cuts to Elton drinking straight from a bottle*

“Elton—” “Elton!”

John saying “don’t you ever put your hands on me” when he was the one who yanked him from the phone booth AND directly after punching him... woof man. What a shitty dude.

Damn, just noticed John talking very quietly and closely to another man right before he goes on and plays Pinball Wizard. Was this the first sign of him having fun with other men when Elton was indisposed?

Pinball Wizard is absolutely intense and loud and fun, but it DOES carry the tone of “god im SO miserable” under it all. You knew Elton wasn’t having fun.

“It is next week.” Jeezus.

LMAO I just caught the “mom, you’re ON my GOWN” when he reluctantly complies to give the Anderson’s a tour.

Damn, flowy, loose dress shirts with the first few buttons undone is a LOOOOK.

How did they do the overdose scene, you think? Surely the pills Taron took had to be like. Empty. Or placebo affect drugs? Idk. He did take a big drink directly after stuffing his mouth with them. I don’t think he spit them out.

God, there is SOMETHING symbolic about how he meets his child self at the bottom of the pool. Rock bottom? Apologizing? Wishing he could be better? Telling him he’ll never be better?

OH I watched a behind the scenes cut about the pool scene, and none of it was CGI. Taron was weighted under his robe and a SCUBA diver was on standby to provide oxygen. The singing and bubbles coming out of his mouth and stuff underwater was all real.

Dying to know about the choreography around the second chorus, about the undressing and twirling and dressing and injection and handing off of the bat and stuff. That sequence was incredible.

Bennie and the Jets. Damn. It fucks. I listened to it almost the entire time on my run today. (Five miles; I felt like garbage the entire time but it was good anyway.) The scene is wild. He’s in the middle of a drug induced haze orgy. He SHOULD be having the time of his life but he’s so goddamn miserable. (Also, the juxtaposition between Chris Fleming’s Bennie and the Jets is so funny.)

Part of the problem was that John never understood Elton. But, Elton broke it off with John, not the other way around like he said it was. He wasn’t the victim in that regard. John did treat him like shit though.

Victim of Love plays right after that lmao

Renate and he aren’t even close when they do the duet to don’t let the sun go down on me. They’re separated in different rooms, mirroring literally how closed off their relationship was.

The shot with them waking up in different rooms.. damn

His shirt is so LOUD I’m going crazy

Watching Taron down that orange juice made me a little nauseous I gotta say

“Not really I’m gAy”

It’s CRAZY to watch Elton and his mom interact at the dinner scene. He gets accosted and accused of so much by his mom, claiming SHE’S the victim of his actions, making it all about HER and then he turns around and does and says the exact same shit to Bernie.

He yells “Oh, don’t be so dramatic!” at Bernie as he gets into a taxi. THE PROJECTION!! THE DEFLECTION!!!!

I know there’s only so much they can put in two hours, but I wish they showed more of Elton’s eating issues. He had bulimia for sixteen years before he got help. It’s Absolutely the Man With Anorexia in me, but seeing that even men deal with eating disorders quells the lonely aching something in me. I feel that much less alone, you know. Eating disorders aren’t a “woman’s disease.”

How do you think they did his hair? A wig adds more hair, not take it away. He didn’t get his hair cut for it did he?

Seeing Elton’s first love fall apart because John was such a selfish, heartless prick in reality makes me sad.

Elton hugs his inner child when he reconciled with everyone in his past. Goddamn. He found peace and forgiveness for himself, who he was, even after all that time.

When Elton asks him not to go, Bernie refuses, saying this is something he had to do on his own. Healing comes from within alone. No one can help you do it. People can guide you, but you have to work at it. It’s fucking lonely sometimes, but it’s so, so worth it.

I used to loathe I’m Still Standing since i heard it so much at work, but the movie changed my entire perspective on it. I love the slow build up as he exits the rehab center. You don’t get thrown into something so happy and fast paced and fun after a cathartic climax you need to drink in. And the pan to his hat with the rainbow stripe to his smile. I get chills every time. Elton feels so right and secure and happy in himself. At first I thought it was a bit cheesy, but accepting your sexuality, especially after all the hell he went through during his life, grappling with unresolved trauma and fear of abandonment, he absolutely should wear it loud and proud. It’s easy to think times are much easier now being gay, and it shouldn’t be such a big deal. Relative to 1975, it is easier. But it doesn’t mean it’s not such a rough personal thing to work through if you’ve been spit on and resented all your life. Being gay, coming out, and accepting and being comfortable with that fact must’ve been such a HUGE milestone in Elton’s recovery and self-esteem.

Love me again after I’m still standing is perfect. The credits make me tear up every time. Jeez. What a good movie. What a good movie. Hit me up if you wanna talk about Rocketman because I absolutely will with you.

#like if you read pls #noah.txt #rocketman #elton john #rocket man #bernie taupin #richard madden #john reid

[destiel-love-forever]

Hello! I saw your post about wanting prompts.... As a cheerleader in the midst of my competition season, I've recently been itching for some kind of cheerleading au, but it's kind of hard to find. I love your work and if you find time to write something like this, I'd def give it a read!

Thank you Anon!! Here it is (: 

Dean Winchester is the Angel's star quarterback. It's his senior year and he should be focused on one thing: getting a college scholarship. That's what his dad - and coach - has been telling him. Then a distraction in the form of a new cheerleader with bright blue eyes and a gorgeous body comes along and things change. Will Castiel ruin Dean's chances at a future, or will he turn out to be his lucky charm?

AO3 link:

Lucky Charm

The warm sun falls on Dean’s exposed back as he leans over his extended legs in the grass, stretching them out. He holds the position longer than necessary because of how good the lingering summer heat feels on his skin. Any day now, autumn will sweep its way into the small town and even though it’s his favorite time of year because of football, he’ll still miss the hot days out on the lake and the warm nights around bonfires with friends.

Nothing compares to football season, though. The freedom he feels out on that field. How everything melts away. And the cheerleaders. Oh boy, does he love the cheerleaders.

“Winchester,” his best friend Benny grunts, flopping down onto the field with him and beginning his stretches.

“Lafitte,” Dean says back in acknowledgment, looking over at him and grinning when he sees his best friend’s bare chest and neck is covered in scratches and hickies. “Better put a shirt on or coach will be pissed.”

Benny rolls his eyes. Dean’s dad is the coach and he’s a total hardass, but he has a soft spot for Benny. John Winchester gets a kick out of Benny, the young boy from wealthy parents, destined for greatness, no cares in the world. Sure, he gets pissed when the boy drops passes or shows up to practice hungover or late, but it’s always a few extra sprints and he’s letting it go.

Unfortunately, Dean doesn’t have the same privilege. John Winchester puts the weight of the world on Dean’s shoulders, the young boy with a widowed father, no money to send him to college, not intelligent enough for good grades, so many cares in the world he could suffocate on them. Dean’s father planned his future before the boy could even throw a football. The rage that comes out when Dean fucks with the plans is violent and terrifying.

“Where the fuck is Ash?” Benny asks, referring to their other best friend. The three of them are captains this year and John wanted them to come do drills and review plays before the first practice of the night tonight, when the entire town is welcome to come watch the season officially begin at midnight.

Dean pulls himself out of his anxious thought tornado and shrugs. “Probably getting laid. Or napping.”

“Fuck both of ya. I’m right here.” Ash throws his bag down and sits beside it, not bothering to stretch yet. Instead, he lays on his back with his four limbs spread out, soaking up the sun. “Can you guys believe school starts in a week? Senior year. I can’t wait.”

“We’re going to be kings of the school,” Benny adds.

Dean just looks over at the two of them, snorting. “We already were. But, yeah, it’ll be fun.”

Benny rolls his eyes and looks at Ash. “Someone’s being grumpy today.”

“This should cheer ya up,” Ash says with a smile in his voice. Dean looks in the direction he’s pointing and straightens his back, puffing out his chest without meaning to. It’s only a group of five cheerleaders but all five are scantily dressed and gorgeous. Especially the one with black hair and bright blue eyes, his strong legs sticking out from short-shorts in the blue color of their school. His belly button shows beneath his t-shirt he’s made into a cut off, the hem stopping where he cut through the team’s logo.

Fucking gorgeous.

“Who is that?” Dean half asks, half demands. Both of his friends just shrug, neither having any information on the new guy.

The group comes closer, since they’re sitting right next to the table set up with the water jug and the stereo. Jo, the squad’s captain, goes to the stereo and plugs her phone in like she’s going to play music. Benny, her nearly permanent on again/off again boyfriend, hops up and waves his hand in the air. “Woah, woah. No. We’re using that today during warmups.”

“Well, you can have it then, Benjamin,” she spits over her shoulder. Dean wasn’t aware they were off again, but it’s looking like that’s the case. “We have the field for the next forty minutes. We’re practicing our routine for Midnight Madness.”

“Right. Midnight Madness.” Benny walks toward her with a goofy smile as he talks about the kick off practice they have tonight. “I could drive you to that. Pick you up. Drop you off after.”

“Oh, you think so?”

They continue going back and forth, Benny’s flirting softening her up. Dean stops listening though. He can’t concentrate when blue eyes starts stretching. The boy brings an arm behind his head, grabbing his elbow and pulling, his gaze falling somewhere off in the distance. His shirt rides up and with Dean sitting on the ground he can see his rosy nipples. He licks his lips.

Something hard hits him in the side and he jumps, grunting before yelling, “What the fuck?”

Ash has a knowing smile as he wiggles his eyebrows at him. “Careful there. You’re popping a hard on.”

Blushing, Dean grumbles something generic about Ash’s mom giving him a hard on as he hurries to adjust himself. His friend laughs at him and he’s seriously considering punching him until he glances up to see blue eyes looking straight at him.

Act cool, Dean. Act cool. You’re the star quarterback of a team who won the State Championship last year. You can handle a cute boy. Act. Fucking. Cool.

“Hey,” he says with a - if he does say so himself - very casual head nod.

The boy’s cheeks turn pink and he looks at the ground. “Hey.”

High on the fact that he made him blush, Dean pushes further. “What’s your name?”

“Oh. Um.” The boy fidgets, looking at him with wide eyes. “Castiel. Cas. Castiel.” He laughs nervously. “Either works.”

“Alright, Cas. I’m Dean.”

“Hi, Dean.”

Dean gives Castiel the smile everyone tells him is charming. “You must be new? I’d remember a face like yours.”

He hears Ash whistle and say under his breath, “Smoothe.”

Ignoring his idiot friend, he waits for Castiel to respond. It takes the boy a minute. He rocks on his heels and looks at the grass instead of Dean before nodding and saying, “Yeah. New.”

“Where ya from?”

“New York.”

“Cool.”

“Yeah. Cool.”

Dean tilts his head, having decided this is definitely his conquest for the school year. There’s an irresistible pull to the boy and they’ve known each other for five minutes. Hell, he’s not even thinking about just hooking up with him. He’d bring this boy out on a date. Dean Winchester’s first ever date.

“So, you’re a senior?” The boy nods. Dean smiles. “Nice. Me too. And you’re a cheerleader. That’s exciting.”

Castiel blushes. “Yeah. Uh, are you a football player?”

Dean laughs softly. Understatement of the year. “Yeah. Quarterback.”

“Cool.”

“Yeah. So, I guess we’ll be seein’ each other often.”

The boy bites his lip and looks over at his new friends. They’re all staring at him in wonder, probably because they’ve gone to this school long enough to know Dean’s reputation. Castiel looks back at Dean with a nervous smile. “Great.”

“Great.”

“Yes. Great,” Ash says with a dramatic eye roll. “How about we put an end to the most boring conversation I’ve ever had to endure?”

“How about the football idiots stop talking to the cheerleaders?” Jo snaps, grabbing Castiel’s hand and tugging him. She tells a girl sitting in jean shorts and a shirt, presumably a friend not on the team, to start the music when she gives the signal. Then the group all heads out onto the field.

Free to look without any risk of getting caught, Dean tilts his head to the side and appreciates the view of Castiel’s ass bouncing slightly as he hurries with the others. “Fucking hell,” he whispers in amazement.

“Oh, boy,” Ash laughs. “You’re fucked.”

---------

Castiel’s thankful that the only obligation he has for Midnight Madness is the team’s dance routine. The rest of the time he can sit with his new friends and zone out on the hot as fuck quarterback that’s prancing around in a shirt with the sleeves cut off, the slits going to the bottom of his ribcage to reveal the tanned skin beneath the fabric. His black shorts hang loose on his hips and skim the tops of his knees. He’s the opposite of Castiel. Huge muscles, flirty smile, high confidence, extremely attractive, and popular. At his old school, Castiel wouldn’t have even been on the cheer squad. He was far too shy and geeky. But he promised himself at this new school he’d reinvent himself. So here he is. And now the quarterback was flirting with him. Surely only for fun, not because he’s actually interested, but it still has Castiel flustered.

“Popcorn?” his new friend Chuck offers, pointing the bucket in his direction.

With a thankful smile, Castiel takes a few kernels and pops them in his mouth. He’s not sure how he got so lucky. Chuck’s his neighbor so when he moved in earlier this month he had an almost instant friend. It was him who convinced Castiel to go out for the cheer squad. He had great logic. It was something Castiel actually thought he’d enjoy, and their school was the perfect place for a guy to be on a cheer team, because the popular kids at the school didn’t put up with any jokes about being a fag or whatever. At the time, Chuck had said it was because the most popular guy at the school is openly gay. Now he’s burning to ask if Chuck meant Dean.

The coach blows the whistle and all the boys hurry over to the sidelines for water. Castiel watches as Dean takes off his helmet and squirts his water bottle over his head before tilting his chin back to squirt some in his mouth. Once he swallows, he shakes his head, wet hair going wild. One of his friends - the one Jo claims she hates but Castiel thinks she loves - says something, and Dean laughs. Hard. It carries through the air and Castiel shivers at the sound.

“Damn, that boy is hot,” Chuck mutters, looking in the exact same spot as Castiel.

Castiel’s stomach drops. The way Chuck said that was wistful, a tone Castiel’s used himself multiple times. The sound of a gay man appreciating a straight one. Since there’s no harm in agreeing with Chuck, though, Castiel sighs wistfully himself. “Yeah. He is.”

“Great kisser too. God, his mouth, man. I’m tellin’ ya - you haven’t been kissed until you’ve been kissed by Dean Winchester.”

Nearly choking on his second bite of popcorn, Castiel coughs and asks in a squeaky voice, “You’ve kissed him?”

“Well, jeez. Don’t act so shocked. I’m an attractive guy.”

“No. I mean, yes. You are.” Castiel doesn’t bother being embarrassed by admitting that. Within days of knowing each other, Castiel knew nothing was going to happen between them. Ever. They’re just great friends. “Dean’s gay?”

“Yeah. Well, he’s bi, actually. But yeah.”

Castiel turns his gaze to the field, stunned by the revelation. The swirl of possibility makes him ten times more nervous about Dean Winchester. It was one thing getting flustered by a straight boy being flirty but an entirely different thing if Dean is someone he could realistically be with. That makes the fear of rejection so much worse.

“Did you guys date?” he asks quietly, eyes tracking Dean as he backs up with the ball in his hand, then throws it across the field in a high arc. The ball goes toward some other boy but Castiel keeps his eyes on Dean.

“No. We were just fuck buddies for a while.”

“Why did you stop?”

“I wanted to be exclusive, to maybe try and date. Dean Winchester doesn’t do that.”

“Why?”

Chuck shrugs. “He claims he doesn’t believe in love but he’s a great guy and I don’t believe that for a second. Once you know him, you’ll see what I mean. He loves everything. One of those people that’s just completely full of life, you know? Always smiling.”

Castiel nods, still watching Dean. He can definitely see that, yes, but he has a feeling there’s much more to the story. Dean stands in front of his coach now. His helmet is on so Castiel can’t see his face, but his hands are in a constant state of clenching and unclenching by his sides. He notices that when the coach begins to yell, Dean takes the slightest step back, a shiver running through him.

“Why do you think he doesn’t date, then?” Castiel asks, wondering out loud.

“Everyone thinks it’s because of his dad. Relationships are a distraction.”

“Distraction from what?”

Chuck gestures to Dean and the coach. “Football.”

“God forbid,” Castiel mutters, rolling his eyes.

“Really god forbid, though. Dean’s getting scouted by Division 1 schools. People think he could one day make it to the NFL. A long shot, but a possibility. He’s good. Wait until you see him play.”

The coach advances on Dean and grabs the front of his jersey, yanking him forward and screaming into his face. Castiel leans forward, alarmed. “Oh my god. He can’t do that, can he?”

“Who? What?” Chuck looks in the same direction as Castiel and cringes, his frown deep. “Oh. Actually, he can.”

“Dean’s parents don’t get upset?”

The look Chuck gives him is incredibly sad. “Cas, that is his parents. His mom’s dead and his dad is right there.”

“His dad is the coach?”

“Yup. Real loving guy, hey?” Chuck shakes his head. “Wait until you see him during a real game.”

Castiel looks at the field. Dean’s getting a drink again, along with the others, but this time he doesn’t laugh afterward. He just ducks his head and places his hands on his hips, glaring at the grass in silence. Everyone gives him a wide berth. They must know better than to bother him.

Castiel knows for sure now. There’s something else lingering beneath the surface of Dean Winchester. A version of himself that’s not happy all the time. That doesn’t smile. That believes in love. That desperately wants love.

In seconds, Castiel has fallen for the boy. The boy beneath the surface.

-------

A hand hits the back of Dean’s head and he snaps his head in the direction of the person hitting him, cheeks turning red as he worries he got caught. His dad looks at him with a scowl and his eyebrows pulled in. Dean prays he didn’t notice Dean watching a certain cheerleader on the sidelines. When his dad’s eyes look over his shoulder at Castiel, he deflates.

“Somethin’ more important than the game, boy?”

“No, sir. Of course not.”

“You sure?” His dad turns to gesture at the field, where the other team is only ten yards from scoring a touchdown and tying the game. There’s only three minutes left and the Angel’s defense is exhausted. It’s not looking good. “Because the game is this way. Not that way.”

Dean bites the inside of his cheek and tries to remain calm so he can play this off. “Someone was shouting. I looked over there quick. Sorry.”

His dad just stares at him, unimpressed and probably not believing him either. The ball is snapped and a play begins. His dad leaves Dean alone to start coaching. It takes everything inside the young boy not to look at Castiel again. He gets closer to the white chalk of the field’s official edge and tightens his fists at his sides. His dad is right. He has to focus.

The opposing team scores on the next play and Dean’s gut sinks. He glances at the clock. Now there’s only two minutes and ten seconds left. It’s not impossible but it’ll be hard. As the players start to switch, Dean’s dad grabs him and yanks him close before he can run off. “This is your fault. That interception in the first could cost us this game. Go out there and fucking fix it.”

“Yes, sir.”

His dad shoves him toward the field and Dean stumbles for a second before jogging to his position. The other players start to line up. He feels sick as he waits for the ball. His dad is right, this is his problem to fix now. They can’t start the season off with a loss. Especially when the loss would be his fault.

His throat clenches and makes it hard for him to breathe. He hears the crowd shouting and the cheerleaders cheering and his dad screaming at them. The cheerleaders. Dean sucks in a breath and takes a chance, glancing over at the sidelines. The cheerleaders are facing the team right now instead of the crowd. Castiel’s in the front, right next to Jo in the center. He’s shaking his pom poms but his mouth is closed as his eyes bore into Dean. When he realizes the quarterback is looking at him, he gives a wave of a pom and a nervous smile.

The anxiety in Dean’s chest unfurls and he’s left with a floaty feeling. When he turns back to the game, he feels invincible.

-----

Castiel stands on the sidelines, anxiously waving his pom poms. His knees are wobbling in anticipation as he keeps his eyes glued to Dean’s every move. The clock is winding down and Dean’s managed to push the team down the field a good amount. They’re only thirty yards from the end zone now. The problem? There’s also only twenty-four seconds left on the clock.

The coach calls a time out and Jo orders them to spin around and do a certain cheer. He goes through the motions, forcing his eyes to stay on the audience, forcing his mouth to stay in a perky smile. The second they’re turned back around to watch the game, his face is serious again, his heart racing.

“Come on, Dean,” he whispers below his breath. “You can do it. Come on.”

The ball is snapped and Dean takes his steps backward, arm cocking in the air. His head swivels and Castiel scans the players, trying to find an open spot, praying there is one. Praying wherever it is, Dean sees it.

Castiel holds his breath when the ball is launched through the air. He watches it’s slow descent, realizing it’s heading for Benny Lafitte. The entire stadium turns quiet. It’s as if the air is charged with electricity.

When the ball lands on the ground, two or three yards further left than Benny, the opposing team cheers and the whistle blows as Dean’s dad calls another timeout. From his left, Castiel hears Chuck suck in a breath and whisper, “Shit.”

He doesn’t have to ask what’s wrong. The second Dean’s within reach, the coach is grabbing his face mask and yanking him to the sideline. The boy’s neck twists in a way that must have been painful - and quite honestly dangerous - and then the coach’s bright red face is pressing right up against the face mask as he screams. They’re close enough to hear parts and bits but too far to make sense of much of it. Castiel hears something about a ‘goddamn failure’ and ‘home.’ Something else about ‘embarrassment’ and ‘benched.’

Castiel’s eyes burn as he watches the scene. He glances around, astonished that no one cares that this coach - this father - is manhandling his son and screaming at him. When he looks at Chuck, his friend gives him a sad smile. Castiel just shakes his head, still shocked, and looks back at Dean and his dad. The whistle blows to signal the timeout is over and Castiel wonders if the man even had time to tell Dean a play or what to do. It seems he spent the entire time berating him. He says something else, something not yelled, then slams the palm of his hand twice against the side of Dean’s helmet and sends him off.

Six seconds. Final play. Too far away still to kick a field goal. “Come on, Dean,” Castiel shouts without meaning too. His cheeks burn with embarrassment but the other cheerleaders join him with words of their own. Then the Angel’s side of the bleachers start shouting encouragement at the young quarterback. Dean glances at the crowd, scanning it, then his helmet drops lower and he looks at Castiel like he did earlier. Instead of getting flustered this time, Castiel nods once, reassuring, and yells, “You can do it!”

The boy’s shoulders straighten and he turns to the team. The ball is snapped. Dean falls back. His arm is cocked. The crowd goes silent. The air becomes electric.

The ball flies through the air. Toward Benny again.

This time, it lands right in the boy’s arms. Three steps and he’s in the endzone. The crowd freaks out, jumping up and screaming. The boys on the sidelines storm the field to celebrate. The other cheerleaders are yelling and kicking their legs up in excitement. Castiel sees Jo fly away from the squad, heading straight for Benny, and something idiotic takes over his own body. One second he’s wishing he could hug Dean and the next second, he’s sprinting toward the boy with the number one on his blue jersey.

He launches himself at the boy, taking him by surprise. Dean releases a soft grunt before chuckling and returning his hug. His large arms wrap around Castiel’s bare waist, huge hands spreading across the small of his back, and he shivers at the calloused touch. One of the hands leaves so Dean can pull his helmet off. His hair is all over the place as sweat clumps it together, and sweat is rolling down the side of his face from his temple. Castiel’s mouth goes dry watching it travel down to his strong jaw. He wonders what it would taste like it.

Staring up at him in awe, Castiel accidently whispers, “You’re amazing.”

Instead of the cocky or flirty response he expects, Dean smiles softly and holds him tighter. “I’m pretty fond of you, too, Cas.”

“Really?”

“Really.” Dean leans down, slowly, making sure Castiel understands his intentions. When the cheerleader does nothing but lift up on his toes to make the journey shorter for him, he smiles and closes the distance, molding his lips over Castiel’s. Dean drops his helmet to the field so he can use the hand to cup the back of Castiel’s neck and hold him steady, his other hand increasing pressure on his back to pull him in closer. When he breaks the kiss off, he stays with their lips almost touching, so he can breathe him in. He whispers against Castiel’s mouth, “I think you’re my lucky charm.”

Castiel leans back to look him in the eyes, grinning like a total idiot. “Then I guess you’ll just have to keep me around.”

“Yeah.” Dean nods, feeling dizzy with happiness. “I guess so.”

[perachelsource]

James Sirius Potter

Disclaimer: James is only in canon for the epilogue so this entire thing will be 99% based on my headcanons. 

Favorite thing about them

Hard to choose, (as I imagine him) he’s got so many good traits I can’t really choose. He’s honorable, good, caring, charming  and funny, but if I have to choose though it would be his positivity and love for his family and friends, his incredible loyalty to those he love. If James Sirius Potter likes you you will be well taken care off. 

Least favorite thing about them

He’s totally the jealous type, and just like his father he can say things he doesn’t mean in the heat of the moment. It all comes from his love and need to protect those around him, but sometimes it gets overhand, and he has a hard time accepting he can’t always protect people all the time. 

Favorite line

He barely says anything at all, but I guess “Mum! I can’t give a professor love!” will have to do. 

I am, though, writing a next gen fan fiction right now, so I can also say my favorite line of his from there: “They may not understand what you’re going through but they should still take you seriously. Don’t feel bad for caring so deeply about someone that you’re crushed when they die. Even if it is a fictional character. They minimized your pain, and that is not how friends should treat each other. Don’t ever blame yourself for others putting you down. ”

brOTP

Fred Weasley the second. They’re pure best friends and cousins who love each other and aren’t afraid to show it. 

OTP

Soo, the next gen fan fiction I’m writing is a James Sirius Potter x OC, so they’re my OTP. It’s a sequel to Never Judge A Book By Its Cover (an draco x oc I’m writing on wattpad). I’m not going to spoil any of the plot but I’ll describe their dynamic; 

Frenemies that eventually start dating. Adorable partners in crime with lots, and I mean LOTS, of flirty banter. They have complementary personalities with James being a goofy ”go with the flow” kind of guy and she being sarcastic and very organized; she’s a type A personality. 

Quotes That remind me of them: 

They didn’t agree on much. In fact, they didn’t agree on anything. They fought all the time and challenged each other every day. But despite their differences, They had one important thing in common. They were crazy about each other.

You are my best friend as well as my lover, and I do not know which side of you I enjoy the most. I treasure each side, just as I have treasured our life together.

nOTP

Jeddy. I’m sorry but I don’t like that pairing at all for 3 main reasons.

I’ve just always viewed James as straight. That’s just my view on him and I have nothing against people who view him as gay, or bi, or anything else, but that’s always how I’ve seen him.

Harry is Teddy’s godfather and it’s very likely that he viewed Teddy as a son, and I knew he was lived with Adromenda but Rowling also said that Harry made sure that Teddy had a father figure in his life (which was him obviously). My point is that Teddy viewed Harry as a parent and Harry is James dad so they would most likely have been raised like siblings. I know it’s not technically incest but it still puts me off. 

The age difference. Teddy is born in 1998 and James in 2004. That’s a 6 year age difference. All Jeddy fan fics I’ve read takes place over the summer break when James is still in school. That’s PEDOPHILIA. Even if they got together when they’re both adults I don’t see how their relationship can naturally shift from family to lovers in those circumstances. 

(I also don’t like James x Alice Longbottom because I’ve always viewed her as aromantic) 

Random headcanon

Just when you didn’t think this boy could be anymore perfect you discover his secret talent; he’s got the voice of an angel. He literally sounds like a greek god. And he can play guitar too! 

Unpopular opinion

Basically the whole Jeddy and straight thing. 

Song i associate with them

Rock bottom by Hailee Steinfeld 

It describes him and my OC’s relationship perfectly. The fic is even named after that song. 

Favorite picture of them

There’s like 1 picture of him so I’m going to put my face claim for him instead

Atticus Mitchell (or basically just Benny Weir from MBSIAV)

#james sirius potter #harry potter #cc #cursed child #harry potter next gen #harry potter next generation #hp next gen #hp next generation #atticus mitchell #benny weir