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Understanding the Difference Between Hard Work and Workaholism, and Self-Care Strategies for Avoiding Burnout
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Hi friends,
In today’s post, I want to talk about the idea of hard-work vs workaholism and the resulting consequence of burnout. It’s a longer post today because I believe this is something that many people are dealing with, especially in this space.
In the self-improvement and personal development bubble, there’s a constant culture of ambition and striving for improvement. While the intention behind this can be rewarding, it can sometimes fall into toxic territory with constant encouragement of and sentiments such as “just work harder” or “you‘re not disciplined enough”, often leading people to exhaust and overwork themselves.
Due to this, I'd like to discuss the significance of distinguishing between hard work and workaholism — both for productivity and well-being. While hard work can indeed lead to success and fulfillment, workaholism can result in burnout and physical and mental health issues. Recognizing the distinction between these two and equipping oneself with self-care strategies is essential for leading a balanced, healthy life.
What is hard work?
Hard work can vary from person to person, and it’s the same for everyone. Generally, hard work can be described as dedicated and focused effort towards achieving a specific goal. This can mean anything from daily runs to train for a marathon to watching numerous youtube tutorials to learn how to code.
The point here is that, although hard work involves a certain level of persistence, discipline, and strong work ethic, there’s often rewarding outcomes as you know you’re making progress towards something you want to achieve.
Understanding if you’re a hard worker or someone suffering from workaholism dictates a high level of self-reflection and introspection. In my experience, hard workers are those who:
Have a clear understanding of what they want to achieve
Are action oriented and know the purpose behind their efforts
Have the ability to achieve a work/life balance
Are either intrinsically motivated and have a high level of identified motivation
Maintain an internal locus of control
Know when to take breaks
Being a hard worker is a significant skill, one that can lead to personal development, growth, and multiple career opportunities, these are facts that can’t be denied. However, in our current environment where an individuals worth is often determined by their accomplishments and successes, the line between working hard and being a workaholic has been blurred.
Understanding workaholism
Now that we’ve talked about what exactly makes a hard-worker, I want to uncover the other reality: workaholism.
Workaholism is an uncontrollable and compulsive need to work constantly. It comes from feelings of from anxiety, perfectionism, or a desire to escape personal issues. This includes:
Obsessively thinking about work
Struggling to relax or unwind outside of work
Ignoring personal relationships and self-care
Feeling physically drained with fatigue and insomnia
Multiple studies have explored the mental and physical impacts of workaholism, revealing impacts such as high levels of chronic stress, anxiety, depression, fatigue, cardiovascular issues, among others. It’s truly an exhaustive list of consequences, all of which can lead to burnout and emotional exhaustion. Beyond mental and physical health risks, the effects of workaholism can include professional issues. It’s ironic that overworking oneself can have a negative impact on your career, yet there’s a higher likelihood of decreased job performance and strained professional relationships as a result.
I think Jordan Peterson said it best: “You don’t want to do so much work that the amount of you do interferes with the amount of work you could still do”.
Here are some of the key differences between hard work and workaholism to keep in mind:
Purpose and Motivation: Hard work is driven by intentional goals and motivation, while workaholism tends to be more compulsive.
Work-Life Balance: Hard workers manage to balance their professional and personal lives, while workaholics often neglect their personal life and self-care.
Sustainability: Hard work is sustainable over time with breaks for rest and recovery, whereas workaholism leads to burnout due to its unsustainable nature.
Control Over Work: Hard workers can regulate their work habits and take breaks when needed, while workaholics often feel out of control and struggle to stop working.
Stress Levels: Hard work can be stressful but usually within healthy limits, while workaholism leads to chronic stress and health problems.
What is burnout and how can we prevent it
With all that being said, I want to move on to clearly defining burnout and how we can avoid it. Burnout is a work-related state of exhaustion where you feel extreme fatigue, have a hard time concentrating, suffer from emotional dysregulation and poor cognitive function, and mentally distance yourself from the people around you.
Burnout doesn't happen all at once; it's a gradual process that builds up over time, often linked to workaholism. When you’re constantly in a mental state of go-go-go or feel the need to work excessively, you’ll start feeling stressed out from trying to meet all these demands. Over time, if you don’t find ways to take breaks and rest to recharge, you’ll lose energy and find yourself in a state of burnout.
This all happens because burnout leads to emotional exhaustion, detachment from work and others in your life, and a decreased sense of personal accomplishment and motivation.
So how can we prevent this?
There are 5 domains in our lives that we can pay more attention to for preventing burnout: physical, mental/emotional, social, work, and personal/leisure.
Physical Well-being:
Find a form of physical activity you enjoy and do it regularly
Take short breaks during work sessions to stretch and move around
Maintain a balanced diet to sustain energy levels
Get enough each night to support brain function during the day
Mental and Emotional Well-being:
Practice mindfulness techniques and meditation to reduce stress
Practice gratitude daily to adopt a positive mindset
Use deep breathing exercises to calm your mind and body.
Social Support and Relationships:
Seek help when needed through therapy, counseling, or support groups
Make time to connect with family and friends outside of work
Set boundaries for maintaining balance by defining working hours and learn to say no
Workplace Strategies:
Try to opt for projects or tasks in your work that align with personal goals and preferences
Try to schedule meetings to obtain feedback from your higher ups so that you have clear measures on your performance can identity areas for improvement
Find ways to make your work fun to sustain motivation and satisfaction in your work
Leisure and Relaxation:
Schedule leisure activities throughout your day to recharge
Dedicate time to hobbies and interests outside of work
Spend time in nature to connect with the environment and reduce mental fatigue
Thank’s for tuning in.
As always,
L <3
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5ummit · 7 months
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I feel sick. Tumblr has basically been my whole world for the last 14 or so years, more than a third of my life. It feels like a beloved friend has just been diagnosed with a terminal illness. I don't know how long they have left but I now have to live with the knowledge that the end is near. That some day, possibly soon, I will have to live in a world without them. That I will probably have to watch them slowly wither away until they're a husk of their former self (which has already been happening though I've tried to turn a blind eye) and I'm not sure if that's better or worse than pulling the plug because at least I'll have a little more time with them.
I know there have been "tumblr is dead" scares in the past but this one is not like those. This one is not a joke. It's real (unless a miracle occurs and we suddenly gets a massive amount of funding from some generous benefactor). Tumblr has been rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic for years now but we've finally hit the iceberg.
My only hope is, now that we know the end is no longer theoretical, the tumblr community will rally around and put real funding into an alternative like pillowfort or cohost. Now more than ever we need to create a true crowdsourced archive of our own for fandom so that this can't keep happening.
I'll make backup accounts on other sites, but in case you were wondering, I'm not planning on going anywhere just yet. I'm going down with this ship. It's been an honor and a privilege. 🫡
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digitalgirls · 5 months
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i think i’m extra nervous for this upcoming year. usually i’m just meh about the new year, but i foresee that im gonna have to make some pretty big decisions and take major steps in my life from this year moving forward and it’s scary im not gonna lie
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butcharium · 10 months
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Going braless (bra/bralettes/sports bra/binder) is not a privilege reserved to those among us with small tits and is rather something we all should do I think.
I have medium-large boobs and ditched bras 5-6 years ago, and the muscles which has then developed to support my boobs in everyday life actually made me able to pop my pecs long before ever hitting the gym. I also regularly run/sprint short distances at least to catch the bus, and the only thing which hurts then is my sense of pride and dignity (and sometimes my shins since the bus stop is downhill from where I live).
You don't have to go full bra burner if that doesn't speak to you (but personally I must admit I'm rather pro bra burning), at least reducing the amount of restraining your boobs will be beneficial for your health. Also when I first started going around in public with my boobs loose under my shirts I would be very in my head and a bit neurotic and would for example exaggerate every look from strangers and so on. But if anything the long term effect of freeing my boobs have been a far better relationship with myself and my body than ever before where I feel more grounded and less neurotic and in my head than what I used to be!
For both physical and mental benefits there might be a transitional period of discomfort you have to sit through before things get better tho unfortunately, just like with all growth. :(
(also for the transmascs and transmen who follow me I am a woman who doesn't try to pass and yet I have been taken for a man on several occasions, even when wearing just a t-shirt with nothing underneath (both by like customer service workers but also in longer conversations with people))
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up until recently i ran a pretty popular radfem blog (stay with me, this ask is in good faith) but after i took a social media detox, i realized i don’t share those beliefs anymore and in fact i might be trans myself. i just kind of abandoned the blog, but i’d feel bad if i didn’t tell my followers what happened. i’m scared of telling anyone because i feel like i’d be a bad feminist if i transitioned. (i know, you can be trans and a feminist just fine, but that’s just the kind of thing radfems tell you.) even worse, i’m scared of posting about it on my main or radfem blog because radfems and trans people by and large hate each other (obv), and i’m scared to mention i’ve been in both groups because of the hate i’ll get
Lee says:
When I first started as a mod, I would have told you that you need to immediately post on all your blogs to disown the transphobic beliefs you had previously expressed to try to make up for the harm that you may have perpetrated as a radfem.
Now that I'm a little older, my feelings on the topic have shifted a bit. Before anything else, I think you need to slow down and make sure that you ensure your own safety and mental health.
If you believe that revealing this change to your followers could result in backlash online that would affect you emotionally, it's crucial to prepare by turning off anonymous asks and muting notifications from social media apps.
You should also make sure you have a non-online place to turn for support. If they used to be your community, you may feel like you've lost online friends, so make sure you don't become too isolated. Instead, lean on your IRL connections and seek support from trans-friendly people in your community.
You may even want to consider looking for a therapist-- questioning being trans can be difficult for anyone, and adding a layer of internalized transphobia doesn't help.
When you're ready to share your feelings on your blog, you should write a thoughtful post explaining your journey. You don't have to justify your identity; rather, focus on your personal growth, how your views have evolved, and how you came to understand yourself better. Acknowledge the complexity of the situation and that you're still learning.
These people were once your buddies and there's a chance you may be able to make some of them question their beliefs too if you don't lash out at them and trigger that instinctual defensive us-versus-them mindset, so I would try to keep a friendly tone even while noting that you no longer support them.
So thank your followers for their support and engagement over the years, but tell them you aren't comfortable staying part of their community now that you've realized that the beliefs underpinning the group are doing damage and you are trying to unlearn that type of thinking.
Gently challenge any misconceptions you once held or promoted. Clarify that being trans and feminist are not mutually exclusive and that everyone deserves respect and equality, regardless of their gender identity.
If you're comfortable, share resources that helped you on your journey. This could be educational materials, support groups, books you found helpful, or contact information for trans-supportive LGBTQ+ organizations. If there's anything you'd recommend to others who were once in the same place as you were on getting out, this is the time to share your advice.
Understand that reactions will likely be mixed. Some followers may feel confused, betrayed, or angry, while others might be supportive or even share their similar experiences. Remember, you're not responsible for their reactions and you don't need to respond to them if you don't want to argue and they aren't willing to have a respectful conversation.
Be clear about your boundaries. Let your followers know what kind of comments you're willing to engage with and that hate or harassment won't be tolerated. You can even stop engaging with the account altogether if you don't think you can deal with the hate that you may receive.
You don't have to post about this immediately. Again, it's okay to take as much time as you need to feel ready. It's okay to wait until you're in a safe and stable position before making any announcements.
If you do post about it and get hate, remind yourself that you're doing the right thing by letting go of that community, and that you're not only making the right choice for your own life in allowing yourself the freedom to explore your gender identity but you're also doing the right thing overall since you're now standing up for the trans community (late is better than never!) and no longer encouraging transphobic narratives.
If you feel that your current blog is no longer a space where you can express yourself authentically, consider starting a new blog or platform where you can write freely about your experiences and beliefs. Or just get offline altogether-- your digital detox is what started this, so maybe it's healthy for you to continue it for a while!
If you tell someone "I support trans folks" and they send you hate, that person is not your friend anyway. This is an opportunity to meet nice people who you can be yourself with. I would really encourage you to connect with IRL activists who are actually regularly volunteering and doing something concrete for their community if you have the opportunity.
When I was in high school, I volunteered at my local library's teen advisory board, and when I was in college I volunteered at a local hospital and through my college. This weekend I'm starting training for volunteering in-person for my town's emergency preparedness group which also does things like help to unload trucks for the food pantry, and I also volunteer remotely for two organizations online.
I'm really pushing for you to get out and volunteer (online or IRL) because I know one draw of the radfem community is feeling like you're an activist and that you're supporting women's rights and protecting and defending women. And it is important to support women's rights and protect and defend women! But there are other ways to do that beyond running a hateful blog attacking trans women.
I have a friend who works at an organization for survivors of domestic violence, for example, and she works with volunteers who help staff events, answer the hotline, etc. You can look around and see what local initiatives there are in your community and if you can't find the thing you're looking for you can start a group yourself or look online and join a national or state-wide cause that you care about, like pushing the legislature to support access to abortions.
Giving up the radfem community doesn't mean giving up feminism, and this is a good opportunity for you to take a look at your own time, your values, and think about how you can take this chance to start working to be a more effective feminist. Not everyone has to be an activist, but if you want to be one, think about how you can start doing good in a way that will actually affect people in a positive way.
I've also often been involved in doing events like conferences and workshops and panels IRL from my time in high school to the present day to try and educate folks on the community, but I also know that sometimes you need to take a step back and prioritize yourself. If you think you're not ready to jump into making change that's also okay. Just join something. A soccer team, a book club, anything hobby-related, to have something else to do and talk about and think about and stay tethered to feeling part of something.
Remember, it's okay to grow and change. You're not betraying anyone by being true to yourself. It's a courageous step to admit when your views have changed, and it's an integral part of personal growth. Be kind to yourself during this process.
Whether or not you end up identify as trans, you still will be doing the right thing by separating yourself from that community. I know it may be difficult because they were a place where you felt supported and part of a movement, but I really believe that you're taking steps in the right direction by letting go of that ideology and just living your life!
Followers, if you have any experiences unlearning toxic beliefs please reply with your advice for anon!
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taexoxosgf · 4 days
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seeing brother’s best friend!jisung after three years
goes with the one-shot : do it again
— decided to post other parts of the full fic in blurbs/drabbles! i was cringing rlly bad rereading so i might tweak some parts
“Y/n?”
Expecting your brother, you’re face-to-face with Jisung. Your brother’s best friend.
While your older brother decided to attend college near home, Jisung studied abroad in Europe. You hadn’t heard from him in three years. It was almost as if he disappeared from existence, but, you think again. He shouldn’t hinder your thoughts because he isn’t your best friend, he is your brother’s– a person who did not owe you an explanation, a call, or anything, really.
“Jisung... What a pleasant surprise,” you blurted out, hoping to avert from your surprised expression.
The smirk that adorned his face gave notice of a new piercing at the corner of his lips. You just then realize how different he looks at first glance. Of course, his growth from adolescence was during high school and you had taken notice. But standing in front of you in the current time, he looks like the same Jisung you knew but maybe a tad taller, sporting tighter clothing, and toned arms– your eyes eventually travel down to his fingertips where you notice thick rings and a flashy tennis bracelet. And his hair. In high school, Jisung repeatedly destroyed his hair with bleach, occasionally adding some ginger or pink into the mix. But now, it returned to the original charcoal black color you always tried to persuade him to re-try.
“You’re staring,” he teases, resting an arm against the door frame.
God, he’s hot. This is so not good for your mental health.
“Just was expecting Taeyong. Caught me off guard,” you cross your arms.
Jisung rolls his eyes, poking the inside of his cheek with his tongue. “You’re saying you look at Ty like that? I gotta tell him to stay away from you,” he jokes.
“Shut up, you’re disgusting,” you grimace.
“Actually, I think calling professionals will solve this problem,” he pulls out his phone, pretending to dial a number.
“You’re so annoying. Gimme that before I smack you with it,” You hurdle forward to grab the phone, but he beats you to it, holding it behind his figure. At the door frame now, shoulder to shoulder with Jisung– You’re a lot closer to him than you realized, slightly tilting your head up to look at him, and he merely looks down at you.
You really couldn’t move your feet. Both of you just stay in that position, unable to break the ice.
After what feels like a million light years, Jisung is the first one to slice through the silence.
“It’s been a while huh?”
It’s so sudden, like a smack in the face. Of course, it’s been long. But did he just notice? Did he just remember that his best friend has a sister he used to know? There’s a weird feeling in your chest at the statement because something that you occasionally reminisce about is just background noise in his life.
You just nod. “Yeah, it has.”
“I would lie and say you look the same as when I left but you look different,” he says as his low tone fills the air. Jisung only stares at you with a gaze you can’t quite comprehend. You don’t recall him ever looking at you this way.
You tilt your head to the side slightly and crinkle your eyebrows in an attempt to understand the curveball he had just thrown.
“Well, I hope that’s a good thing. If you’re here to insult me after three years, then you have something comin’ for you Park.”
“It is,” his orbs flicker around your face.
The silence is too uncomfortable for you to handle and the only excuse you can think of is: “It’s nice seeing you again Jisung, but I need you to start getting the boxes out of my car while I say hi to my parents and Taeyong.”
“Wow,” he chuckles. “It's been three years and the first thing you do is boss me around. I can’t say I haven’t missed that,” he says as he brushes past you in the doorway.
“Oh, are you saying you missed me?” you cross your arms once more, turning around to look at him.
He opens the driver door, crossing his arms against his chest before leaning against the car.
“You have no idea.”
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tarjapearce · 9 months
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Hi hi! Thank you for letting me go ahead and send it through! I didn’t want to overwhelm you, that’s absolutely fine still take your time and keep taking those breaks mamas!
I’ve seen a lot of single dilf Miguel x reader but I don’t think I’ve ever read where reader was a single parent. So I was thinking reader is new to spider society and on the day she’s told to join she has to bring her baby because she didn’t have a babysitter. Well Miguel sees her and it’s like he’s instantly drawn to her like sunflowers are to the sun, sunflowers move where the sun goes and when the sun doesn’t shine they face each other (She’s kinda like his day and night if that makes sense) but instead of acting on it he dismisses her but kinda admires her and her baby from a distance.
Well one day she’s having a small part for the main group and she invited Miguel because she always felt the feelings but also dismissed them. Then after the party he stays to help and the end up getting closer and yeah. It can be nsfw I don’t mind, I also hope this makes sense it’s been in my mind for a while and you’d be so good for this!
The rest is all up to you if you decide to write it pretty girl. Just remember to take your time and all the breaks you need. Mental, physical, and emotional health is important don’t overwork yourself 💕
Im so sorry this taken me soo long. Hope this make it justice 😊❤️. Thanks for requesting dear.
If it wasn't for the webs that stopped Rhino as he was about to deliver the last blow to you, you'd be certainly gravely injured or worse.
Another Spiderwoman, clad in a red, yellow and black suit had helped you through. Both of your minds in sync, that soon earned you the win over a now unconscious Rhino.
She introduced herself as Jessica Drew. Another Spiderwoman from another universe. At first her explanation of what the Arachnohumanoid-Polymultiverse was, had your head spinning and confused, but after quite a while of visiting you on duty, and clearing up as much questions you needed, you had been officially 'invited' to join, by Miguel’s orders.
You've never met the man, but the way people talked about him, made you not only curious but excited to meet him. Everyone described him as a good yet scary boss.
----
"Let's go"
"Hope you don't mind?" Your nervous smile reached Jess as you packed in your child's stuff in the baby sling. A couple of diapers, extra clothes and bottles.
"Look at this beautiful boy" Jessica held him as you finished packing up stuff, "Didn't know you had one"
"Oh, well. You never asked. Plus we always met on duty. The babysitter I get for him called in sick and I have none as a back up. Hope Miguel doesn't mind."
"What about his dad?"
Your head shook softly and sighed.
"He decided to not be part of our lives."
Jessica just nodded, lips pursing.
"His loss, really. Anyways, ready to go?"
------
Not even in your wildest dreams you'd imagine something as The Babylon Tower or HQ as most Spiders called it, could exist. Different sort of Spiders paraded around and greeted Jess upon her arrival.
Some even greeted your toddler that cooed and giggled upon the many heroes that came his way.
"Let's get you to Miguel." Jess walked ahead and you followed, you baby's eyes wandered, marveling at the different colors and people. You'd sometimes make hamocs and web playgrounds for him to be more active. Your babysitter was the only person you could actually trust your identity, she had even helped you sometimes by calling the cops, or even fixing your suit.
Another man in a pink bathrobe approached and gasped at your baby
"Please tell me we're getting a Spider Parents exclusive division now."
You chuckled and Jess just rolled her eyes
"Sweetie, this is Peter."
"As in Peter Parker?"
"Nah. As in Peter Benjamin 'B' Parker."
"Oh... And whose that cutie over there?" Your eyes trailed to Mayday as she beamed at you.
"Mayday. A lil spider in growth"
"She has spider powers?! Oh my goodness!"
"It's chaos, I know. What about yours?"
"Normal baby so far. Should I be concerned?"
"Not really, it comes in the least unexpected moment and them BAM! Spider baby. "
You giggled as you made your way through the halls to a much more secluded and dark area.
"Miguel?"
Your baby couldn't help but babble as a hulking figure approached from the furthest corner.
"He's so dramatic" Peter whispered and again, you giggled under your mouth.
Jess introduced you both and explained your progress to him. Apparently they had been observing you for quite the time.
" I apologize for bringing my child. My babysitter called in sick."
"No problem."
Even though his voice was calm, the coldness in it made you recoil to yourself. His scrutinizing gaze fixed on you and your baby. By instinct you held him close.
Red eyes settled on yours, but the subtle stare contest was interrupted by the anomaly alarm.
-----
As your time in the Spider Society advanced, your interactions with Miguel improved significantly, and by that it'd mean longer conversations, a joke here and there and of course moments so subtle between you both that you had to be quite analytical to know that he gave glances your way or lean to you slightly whenever speaking to him.
Not that you were inmune to his looks, but his patience stood proudly among his other virtues. And to your surprise he seemed to handle Mayday well enough. What actually made you to be drawn to him is that in one of your many occasions that you couldn't leave your baby boy alone, and brought him into HQ with you, he'd be instantly looking for Miguel.
Your cheeks would flush impossibly red as your baby clung to his leg and erupted in a bubbly laughter.
"God, I'm so so sorry, he just... seem to like the blue alot."
An airy chuckle was everything that escaped his lips. Of course there was so many questions he'd want to do out of curiosity. He had noticed you didn't wear a ring, neither talked about the baby's father. It was something he never seemed to coax out of you. No matter how subtle he was about it.
Pa pa
You both froze as your baby mumbled and grabbed a few strands of his hair.
"I'm so sorry..." You pried the baby away from him and fled the place as soon as you could. He just watched you leave, the inner turmoil in his heart was surely playing dirty. The way the baby had clung to him, and climbed ontop of his chest made his heart to leap after a long long while.
-----
You had been avoiding him, for sure. Ever since your little incident with the baby mumbling his first words, you had taken your distance with him. Of course you weren't ready for your baby's actions, but the fear of going through all that again, had surely dismissed all possible blooming feelings you had for your boss. Besides he seemed way too busy and aloof to try and pursue anything with anyone.
Not that you blamed him, the multiverse depended basically on him. It was for the best.
----
The moment you were falling asleep, your Spider senses tingled so hard you had a little headache coming your way.
Dread settled on your brain as your baby boy screamed and wailed.
No No No!
You were already darting towards his room, and pulled him with one of your webs towards you, holding onto him for dear life as the creature shredded his crib to bits with its elongated talons.
Your eyes went wide at the sudden action, your baby kept wailing in fear, earning the humanoid like creature to snap it's attention to you. You were fast, but the creature was faster and sliced through your flesh in one of your sides. You fell on your back protecting your son from the impact with a groan.
You needed to get out, or at least put your baby out of danger.
Survival mode kicked in as you dodged and took as much damage as you could from the creature that seemed way too keen into hurting your child.
You fought but exhaustion was taking over, the blows of the creature only seemed harder and powerful, but no matter what your priority was to keep your child safe, even if it costed your life.
The creature pounced on you, but the final blow never came. There was a commotion as you tried to get up, all you could hear was inhuman shrieks, growlings and finally the engine of a too familiar motorcycle revving up.
Your baby was pried away from your hands and you whimpered
"N-No!" even in your injured state, your mother instinct kicked in.
Your name was called, several times until you were held against a sturdy yet warm body with such care and tenderness that stilled your thrashing body. Vision blurred, but the last thing you saw the led lights of a blue and red suit, red eyes staring at you with concern.
-----
You woke up in HQ's medical bay. Pain surging through your body as you tried to sit down, Miguel's hand stopped you. Face with his ever permanent frown and something else. Worry.
"Where's... Where's my baby?"
"He's fine. Out of danger." His hands reached for a new set of bandages, he took your arm gently and began replacing the bandages himself, some were stained in a fresh layer of blood.
The silence fell upon you both until he decided to break it.
"You... were brave. We still don't know what that creature was, yet you didn't hesitate to fight back."
"It was going for my son... If I would've got there a second too late..." Voice broke and eyes filled up with tears.
The knot only tightened around his throat upon remembering the anomaly alarm in your world and saw you fighting for your son's life. He didn't think twice before jumping into action.
"The anomaly was terminated."
Terminated, not contained.
"I see"
"Your safety is all that matters to... this organization"
To me
You nodded
"Thanks."
----
He had learned that you were a single parent thanks to Jessica. Something he had trouble understanding sometimes. How could a man abandon his own family? He'd give everything to have one more chance and at least make things right, he wouldn't interfere with Gabriella, no matter how much he'd like to, just to keep her safe and alive.
But seeing you fighting for your son, made that side of him he thought buried forever to claw back full force on him. You were a great mother that wouldn't hesitate to attack and lash out at everything that menaced your son. It was the last straw for him.
----
A couple of months had gone by since your incident, and as a retribution you had decided to do a small gathering. Not only to say thanks to them, but to also celebrate your son's birthday.
Wounds were properly healed thanks to Miguel's attention and cares. Music echoed through your apartment. You weren't sure he'd show up, but the invitation was delivered to him.
Your son was having the time of his life as Peter and Jess played with him. Mayday was such a great play date and everyone seemed to have a great time. A portal was open to your kitchen and Miguel stepped out. Suit underneath civilian clothes. It was weird to see him out of the blue and red suit you were always used to see.
"Hey" You smiled and he placed a little present in your hands.
"Hope he likes it."
"I'm sure he will, thanks."
Your smile turned bashful as he leaned on the kitchen counter. Your place seemed normal, cozy even. Full with your son and you pictures. One was cut out and the only trace of a man existing in your life was the forgotten hand you were oblivious in cutting out. And even so, he seemed unsure since his fingers were barely touching you or your son.
"Here." You offered a plate full of food, which he took and scarfed down.
"When was the last time you actually ate?"
His eyes locked on yours, wide by the sudden question.
"There is more if you want to."
"I don't want to overstep-"
"The rest already had their portion. And I frankly went a bit overboard with it. So it's fine."
Your baby's laughter roared from the other side, earning you a chuckle.
"I'm... sorry though"
"For?"
"Him, calling you that. I know what happened and I'm sure it's not nice to just-"
"Couldn't blame a baby. Is it... ok for me to ask what happened to the father?"
"He just decided that we weren't enough for him. So he went for a new one. Away from us."
His eyebrows knit deeper and a light scowl drew in his face.
"But, it's fine. It's less of a burden knowing that you don't have to raise another man child."
He chuckled and nodded
"You're a great mother." You served him another plate but stopped when the corner of his mouth was doused in sauce. Giggling you reached for napkin and got in your tip toes.
"Excuse me" You wiped his mouth and smiled, "Sorry, can't help it"
His hand went to the back of your nape and leaned down for a kiss.
"Lo siento..." (Im sorry)
It was something that felt out of his character, he knew much, but it couldn't be helped. You had come like a little storm that turned into a hurricane in his heart. And that harrowing night where he saw you fighting with everything you had, only grounded him into allowing himself to feel and experience for once.
You got in your tip toes again and pulled him down for a kiss. There was no words needed, just a look of mutual understanding and complicity between the both. A kiss in the palm of your hand sealed up the implicit deal.
You were his now.
587 notes · View notes
cyb3rtarot · 5 months
Text
Pick a Pile: Message from the Moon Card
Disclaimer: tarot readings are not replacements for professional advice; your future’s in your own hands. Take what resonates, don’t force a reading to fit!
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pile 1☾pile 2 pile 3☾pile 4
Pile 1: 
Cards: The Moon, Escape (Mars in Pisces, 12th), 7 of Cups rx, 8 of Wands, Queen of Cups rx, 3 of cups, Politics (7 of Mind), Justice, 9 of Swords rx, 5 of wands, You Can’t Go Back to Yesterday, Keep Your Temper rx
The Message: hello pile one! The Moon can indicate both illusions and delusions, and this is the focus of your message today. This pile really gets caught up in their own fantasies or the mask they present to the world. There’s the sense that reality is hard to cope with, and you immediately run to what is safe and comforting—even if it is only providing false comfort. You guys really like to daydream to the point that some of you are maladaptive daydreamers—or you could have similar coping mechanisms that “remove” you from reality (some struggle with dissociation). You might be the kind of person to tell yourself a lie and start believing it (no offense, that’s not uncommon lol). Some of you use your friendships to distract yourself; your first response to a heavy feeling might be to go hang out. There’s an emphasis on really rushing to get away from one’s feelings or problems. Going back to the mask I mentioned, most of you like to put on a brave face and not reveal how you’re really doing. There’s a LOT of feelings flying around inside, but most people wouldn’t know by looking at you. Some of you do this because of social or family pressure; living with people who don’t understand emotional and mental health. You may have internalized the idea of sweeping everything under the rug and holding it in, or you may do this to keep the peace and avoid hurtful words. Most of the time when these kinds of issues come up in my readings I can feel a heavy, melancholic, or scattered energy, but actually this pile’s energy felt kind of light and refreshing all the way through. If this is your default, that explains why you use this as a mask or why people expect it of you. However, you guys have to give space to process your heavier emotions! It’s not easy at all and neither is giving up coping mechanisms. But to restore balance to your mindset, life approach, and discipline, you must confront that sometimes life feels like a battle. That’s not a bad thing even if it makes you feel bad; it’s necessary for true growth. A lot of you need to stand up for yourself, and this may manifest as tough conversations or arguments. I’m not suggesting you HAVE to go argue with someone—especially if you don’t feel safe, but do analyze the way you can show up for yourself. Look at the ways you have stomped or lessened yourself for the sake of someone else who doesn’t have your inner wellbeing in mind. This also includes standing up to yourself; when your mind tries to enable unhealthy habits you can say no! Even though it won’t necessarily be easy, this is what may help you escape feeling frazzled or tormented. But instead of escaping, you’ll be actually working through it. Your oracle cards are suggesting you may also cling onto past ideals. For example, you may hold onto people you’ve known for a long time even though you no longer have a healthy relationship. Instead of biting your tongue just to keep things the same, say what’s on your mind! If the relationship relies on you never being truthful or authentic, then it’s just a relationship between the other person and the persona you created, not you and them. If you do struggle with dissociation or mental health, I encourage you to see what mental health resources are accessible to you! Good luck pile one, I know you can do it :]
Extra Details: partying or outings as a coping mechanism, using humor to avoid looking hurt, addictive coping (I’m not really getting substances, just unhealthy habits), doesn’t vent to others (maybe you used to but stopped), laughing or smiling when you’re angry (also angry crying), hiding a big temper, always distracting yourself, very heavy nostalgia, not liking the person you’ve grown up to be. You might collect, want to collect, or make little trinkets, like charms? Some of you read tea leaves or charm cast. Ending relationships, trying to remain lighthearted, people changing beyond recognition, living near the woods or forest. A really fast moving relationship (or new business?). Some of you guys might feel like a token friend or partner. People pleasing (specifically by not defending yourself or showing your real personality). Holding on to a long gone past
Pile 2: 
Cards: The Moon, the High Priestess, 4 of hearts rx, Maturity, Consciousness, Compromise, Past Lives (the Moon again!), Sharing (Queen of Action), 9 of cups, Choices
The Message: hi pile two!! I love you guys’ energy, it was so refreshing and sweet 🥰 You have recently gone through a major inner transformation! This feels like a spiritual awakening, but it might also be mental and emotional. Either way, you went into this period of turning internally to find answers in yourself, and this triggered something that feels like a breath of fresh air in you? You could’ve felt like you were living inauthentically before, and now it’s like you “remembered” who you are. There’s this new, inner spring of energy, joy, or creativity, I can even feel it energetically. You’re a breath of fresh air to those around you too. The Moon in your reading (you got it twice!) is speaking about your newfound knowledge. For the spiritual folks, this seems to represent an upgrade in intuition. If you’re not spiritual, you might just “know” yourself better. You’re looking at the world in a new way now that you’ve “found” yourself, but I feel there’s a decision making you feel stuck. You’ve been trying to compromise yourself or put off these choices, but your cards are clearly showing you know what must be done (with the high priestess and the four of hearts rx). For a lot of you, you’ve changed to the point you can no longer comfortably associate with the same people or environments, but you’ve been trying to hold on. You might be trying to not appear too different or strange. Some of you want to pursue spirituality more but have been unsure. Whatever your individual situation is, The Moon and the “compromise” card are asking you to be true to this version of yourself you’ve discovered. Like the High Priestess, this pile “sees through” the veil or illusions of The Moon now. A new external change is waiting to match your internal one; you’re called to act accordingly with the knowledge you’ve learned about yourself.
Extra Details (these have a lot of spiritual beliefs in them so if that is not for you or makes you confused, just skip!): lemonade (pink)?, really liking the color pink or having a pink room, or liking a soft aesthetic. Seeing 6, 266, or 18 a lot. Wanting to start a business or social media page, especially a spiritual one. Accepting your gender identity or yourself in general. New beliefs or belief system. There’s a lot of clairaudience, clairvoyance, and insightful dreams in this pile. You may have or be returning to a belief in reincarnation, or feel like you’ve discovered a past life memory. Some feel like you shared that life with one person in particular from your present? A few feel like you were royal in a past life, but you don’t really care about that as much as you see it in a wider perspective (which is good! This is a very specific message I picked up on). You might’ve noticed an upgrade to your spiritual gifts/intuition before you went through this transformation, which could’ve freaked you out. Meditating a lot (maybe not anymore but during the “awakening”). A positive nihilism—realizing petty things don’t matter as much. Lots of self love and love in general. Calm after the storm. Some of you may be into STEM; I’m getting marine biology, and someone specifically loves shellfish 😀?? (maybe eating them too…)
Pile 3: 
Cards: The Moon, The Hanged Man rx, 4 of swords, Comparison (5 of mind), Fighting (Knight of Mind), King of Swords rx, the Emperor, 5 of wands, Courage (Strength), The Lovers, Enthusiasm (Sun in Sagittarius, 9th house), Who in the World Are You?, Follow the White Rabbit
The Message: hi pile three! If you already felt drawn to pile 1 I encourage you to take a look as there’s similar themes (though yall’s energy feels a bit “lighter”). Much like that pile, your Moon card message is about the illusions you indulge in. The environments or people around you feel very chaotic or competitive, like a space that pits people against each other or promotes conflicts. This could be a workplace or internship, for example. But I feel the tension is more elevated than you’d expect in that kind of environment; it takes its toll on you and jumbles your thoughts. This pile feels disenfranchised somehow, like others coerce you into a certain position, take power away from you, or backstab you. You may close your eyes to this behavior by making excuses as to why others do this, or pretend things are better than they are. A major lesson for this pile is standing up for yourself. People pleasing can help you get through unpleasant minor interactions but shouldn’t be a way of life at the expense of yourself. It’s very emphasized that you might not feel up to the task, and this is partly because the aspect of you that’s courageous and enduring is fragmented from the rest of your identity. It’s not nonexistent, it’s just not readily acknowledged and there’s a difference. All the bravery and strength you need to show up for yourself is already there, waiting to be tapped into. You may not be used to allowing this version of yourself to exist, and that’s partly what’s causing the inner turmoil and confusion. Overcoming this challenge can open up many paths; you may find yourself feeling curious about opportunities you would've never pursued as the “old” you (possibly traveling or moving for a job? It’ll lighten your mental burden at least). When you truly accept yourself and understand there’s internal things no one can take away, then sometimes no words are needed. Your energy and actions will speak for themselves, even if others refuse to understand.
Extra Details: likes cartoons and anime a lot, spent a lot of your life on the internet—especially preteen + teen years, and especially tumblr and vine (this is more directed at millennials and older gen-z where this doesn’t automatically apply to everybody lol). Tiktok or internet humor, glasses with thick frames, indecisiveness. Some of you could’ve worked at a haunted house or a Halloween fair/amusement park? Or gone to a fun Halloween party. Could’ve also worked at a water park. Your job could be very rigorous or leave you physically and mentally exhausted (some of you are baristas?); you might work with or near water. Some of you are in a very passionate relationship and taking back power over your life will positively benefit it. Funnily, when I was pulling my oracle words for you guys, “the moon” came out (again) and also the word “fruit.”—if you get too caught up in facades and masks, you become oblivious to potential blessings there for your “authentic” self only. Or literally some of you like to eat fruit outside during night time lol. May like to analyze dreams for messages. May have an “if I don’t pay attention it can’t hurt me” mindset
Pile 4: 
Cards: The Moon, Impossible Things, Law is not Justice rx, Nature Communication, Postponement (4 of mind), Adventure (page of rainbows), Intuition (Mercury in Cancer, 4th house), Loss (Saturn in Pisces, 12th house), 4 of hearts rx
The Message: hello pile four! Some of you may have felt drawn to pile 2 as there’s a few similar details. The message the Moon wants to give you today is more of a reminder than anything. I see a change in your approach to life. Some of you could have had very black and white thinking about the universe and spirituality before, or you might have felt like the universe was out to get you. Now, it seems you’ve shed this type of thinking, either by taking a more neutral/positive stance towards the universe or by trusting your intuition to navigate life’s challenges. I see many of you pray, ask for signs, or look for the answers to your questions in nature. Some of you meditate for clarity about questions. There’s a significance about working together with another force to get things done (whether this is your outer and inner self, higher vs regular self, conscious and subconscious, you + the universe or God, etc). Many of you are not used to approaching life in this way, and previous self-sabotaging or overly-hesitant tendencies are carrying over. You may feel stuck on what you’re leaving behind, but for most of you it seems these things already ended. For example, some of you are nostalgic about relationships, but it seems you already don’t talk to these people anymore or you’re not on good terms. Or, someone passed away and you’re torn between staying in the environment that included them versus moving to new things. You’re being reminded to both trust yourself and also not get caught in a web of your own thoughts. Have you nurtured the childlike curiosity and wonder that’s trying to work its way out of you, or have you only been focused on some kind of perfect planning? Overthinking the “destination” can become a procrastination technique. The journey is also important as that’s where your growth occurs. You don’t have to keep thinking or asking for a thousand signs until you arrive at a perfect answer [never]; know you can handle the imperfect, too. 
Extra Details: a long-term relationship that ended a while ago (a divorce for some), lots of manifestors, witches, and channelers in this pile, atheist or former atheist, not having any friends or close relationships right now (possibly because of new beliefs), feeling lonely or hesitant due to lack of support, LOTS of painters or visual artists here (this could be what you’re hesitant to pursue?), a very specific message I’m getting is someone could have lost the ability to make art for a while (because of health or loss of materials?), going on new medication or considering it, game design, meeting people in games/mmos/on twitch, leaving a job (especially because of the people or drama), temporary jobs, working with a crush or friend, remote work (some of you could be digital nomads or wanting that lifestyle?), very dark hair, makeup artist, beauty school, working at a hair salon, visiting your friends’ job, art or beauty as a coping mechanism
250 notes · View notes
agentstarkid · 2 months
Text
SAUDADE ✦ DR3
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“Saudade” is a Portuguese word that carries a profound and complex meaning, often described as a deep emotional state of longing or nostalgia. It transcends mere language; it's a state of being, an emotion that seeps into the soul and lingers like an echo in the heart. It encompasses a mix of emotions, including melancholy, yearning, and a sense of emptiness, often accompanied by fond memories of past experiences or relationships. In the context of love, "saudade" captures the bittersweet essence of missing someone deeply, even when they are physically present or long after they are gone. It is the ache of the heart that comes from loving and losing, a poignant reminder of the depth of connection and the enduring power of love's impact on our lives.
✦ pairing: daniel ricciardo x famous!latina!reader
✦ type: social media au
✦ fc: becky g
✦ warnings: female!reader, latina!reader, age gap, language, lots of angst, heartbreak, drama, internet meanies, mentions of mental health struggles, assholes.
✦ pit wall live: uh holi, loves 👀 sorry for the delay, but I hope you guys enjoy this chapter 👀 it's a little short but as present for not posting in March, I present to you: a bonus chapter hehe okay, byeeee *runs away as fast as she can*
─── The Joker & The Queen (Masterlist)
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JANUARY 1, 2022
yourinstagram
📍 Latinoamérica
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liked by danielricciardo, badbunnypr, rubendias and 2,145,873 others
yourinstagram Starting the New Year on a bright note! ✨ Wearing yellow to channel optimism and positive energy as we dive into this new year. 💛 I'm so so so grateful for all the love and support you've shown me throughout the past year and I'm excited to continue this journey together in 2022. Here's to another year of growth, laughter, and cherished memories! Siempre para adelante, mi gente! 🎉
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danielricciardo Mi reina ❤️‍🔥
user1 I wanted to take this space to thank you for the happiness you have brought me over the years. Your music or your works of art have been a constant company in moments of joy, sadness and everything in between. Your talent is enormous, but so is your ability to connect with your fans in a unique way. Your humility and gratitude show that, despite the success, you are still a close and authentic person. Thanks for all that you do!
camila_cabello Good god woman have mercy
kylieminogue you are sensationally exquisite 💛✨
xtina my angel ❤️
user2 jawline could cut a diamond 🥶
user3 muy buena artista pero sobrevalorada respecto a su belleza, y no digo que no sea guapa sino sobrevalorada
user4 you could wear the rainbow if you wanted and that would still not make you relevant or give you any talent
user5 she always tries too hard
user6 watch out for Regina George in sheep's clothing
anitta Feliz ano novo para você Rainha 😘
diplo 💛
user7 the fact that they spent new year's day apart and on different sides of the world speaks volumes
user what? that they both wanted to see their families? grow up
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yourinstagram has added to their story!
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⥂ translation: Everything I do and comes out of me it's because I'm feeling it, it's okay if no one else feels the same way. Two people can never ever feel the same at the same time.
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JANUARY 16, 2022
danielricciardo
📍 Perth, Australia
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liked by yourinstagram, heidiberger_, natalie_pinkham and 1,562 others
danielricciardo Back seat baby seat bangers 🎶
tagged: yourinstagram
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yourinstagram this is all anyone needs to have a great day ❤️ please send me his manager's contact, I've been looking for a male backing vocal for my next album and I think he can be the perfect choice 😌
danielricciardo yourinstagram ah, you see, he's a really sought-after artist so he's super busy. But I know his uncle and he's interested on the job, only thing is that he likes to be paid with kisses 💋😏 yourinstagram danielricciardo tell him to contact me, I think we will be able to work out the payment details soon 😌
yourinstagram btw how is it possible that he's that big now if I saw him like yesterday and he was this 🤏🏽 small 🥺❤️
user1 is the copying the hand movements for me 😂❤️
user2 so this is how Y/N's future is gonna look like 👀
userA all that's missing is the ring 👀 userB yeah danielricciardo stop being lazy my friend 👀
user3 you're gonna be a great dad one day ❤️🥺
♥ yourinstagram has liked this comment
user4 siempre dije que no quiero ser mamá, pero después de ver esto... yourinstagram mi reina quién pudiera ser vos 😮‍💨
user5 coisa mais linda! ❤️
user6 Daniel really sang his heart out to that song lmao
user7 you have really shit taste in music mate
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FEBRUARY 4, 2022
yourinstagram
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liked by danielricciardo, keleighteller, natalie_pinkham and 1,238,562 others
yourinstagram Te amo con el alma, porque el alma nunca muere ❤️ happy 2 years, mi Danielito 🥰
⥂ translation: I love you with my whole soul, because the soul never dies ❤️
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danielricciardo My forever partner in crime ❤️
user1 cuide a ese hombre yourinstagram, que tu y yo no somos amigas 🫡
user2 oh God I'm so single 😩
mileycyrus so much love and happiness for you both ❤️❤️❤️
user3 THAT LAST PHOTO IT'S GIVING I'D MARRY YOU WITH PAPER RINGS 😭 SO 1 + 1 = THEY ARE GETTING ENGAGED‼️‼️
userA I'm so calling it, it is happening 🤩
user4 LIL BLAKE SIGHTING 😍😍😍
hermusicofficial favs
user5 she was talking seriously when she recorded A mi me gustan mayores 😅
userA será que aplica el "A mí me gustan más grandes. Que no me quepa en la boca..." con él?? 👀👀👀 yourinstagram userA los besos que quiera darme? 👀 sí, aplica 🤭😈 userB OMFG Y/N???!!! LMAOOO iamdannaschwarz yourinstagram that's enough internet for you today 🙅🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️
chloestroll did he really cook? 😂
yourinstagram chloestroll he did! and it was really good actually 🥰 I felt ✨spoiled✨
oliviarodrigo mom and dad 💜
user6 the first pic is making me feel something. i don't know how to put that something into words though 🥵 *bi panics*
userA JUST A BIG FUCKING OOF I GUESS 🥵 userB they served cunt as per usual userC I grunted and groaned and moaned 🫠😩
user7 I'm so tired of them omg yeah, you're "in love", we see you, now stop shoving it at our faces every chance you have 🙄
fioamato congrats Sandy and Danny 😜💖
iamdannaschwarz Baby and Danny 😜💖 itsvittoriasousa nah, more like Troy and Gabriella landonorris Belle and the Beast 😜 yourinstagram landonorris aww did littol landow nowis just called me beautiful? 👀😊 landonorris nvm I take it back. Fiona and Shrek* 😌 yourinstagram landonorris well that makes you the donkey 😂
user8 every time I remember that there's a 9 year gap between them I wanna puke 🤮
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danielricciardo
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liked by yourinstagram, martingarrix, landonorris and 1,562 others
danielricciardo happy 2 years mi vida ❤️
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user "mi vida" brb gonna go chew on a live wire 😭
yourinstagram let's do this for a lifetime ❤️♾️
danielricciardo you have yourself a deal, Chip ❤️
user2 hey God, it's me again...
martingarrix ❤️❤️❤️
user3 these adorable videos ending with daniel squeezing y/n's butt is so dan-y/n core 🥹😝
marcusstoinis congrats, lovebirds ❤️
user4 did they leave their own love lock on the fence? 🥹😭
userA I don't think we'll ever find it, but I'm sure they did 😭
landonorris congrats on putting up with him this long yourinstagram ❤️
joshallenqb 🍾❤️
user5 somethin something "find a beautiful love, make sure they know they are your morning light" playing while the sunset iluminates her and cutting to "and that you'll never let go till the day that you die" while he has his arms around her 😭😭😭
userA THIS HERE IS LOVE 😭 THIS HERE IS LIFE 😭 userB something something he's got a tattoo of that song's title 😭 userC somebody get me a fucking doctor I feel like my heart is about to burst
scottyjames31 my favorite celebrity couple 😌
caamp we love you guys ❤️
user5 grandpa copping a feel 🤢
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FEBRUARY 10, 2022
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FEBRUARY 22, 2022
yourinstagram has added to their story!
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MARCH 8, 2022
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MARCH 9, 2022
danielricciardo
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liked by mclaren, georgerussell63, heidi_berger and 584,981 others
danielricciardo Better this week than next… Unfortunate to miss the test, but I’m starting to feel better. I’ll stay isolated and just focus on next weekend. Big thanks to Lando & McLaren for the heavy lifting, I owe you some beers (milk for Lando). Appreciate the well wishes from everyone as well.
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landonorris get well soon mate!
georgerussell63 speedy recovery danny ric 💪🏻
user did you and Y/N broke up??? please tell me it's a lie
user2 Y/N hasn't liked nor comment yet and it's been 2 whole days since he posted this
userA why whould she? they are quarantining together, she doesn't need to comment or liked every single post he makes. They are probably sitting side by side right now userB userA there's actually rumours that she was seen leaving the hotel in a rush yesterday and fans are already speculating if they broke up
user3 I hope you feel better soon Dan! I know we all wish to see you in action next weekend!!
user4 "milk for Lando" lmaooo i love them your honor <3
user5 this is your year mate don't let any setbacks bring you down 💪🏻
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MARCH 18, 2022
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MARCH 25, 2022
f1wags
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liked by 3,474 others
f1wags It seems Danny Ricc has moved on quickly 👀 Just after a week since the confirmation of his break up with Y/N, a few fans have reported sightings of the driver with actress Heidi Berger —who has been linked to him a few times these past months— around Monaco.
The blonde is the daughter of former Austrian F1 driver Gerhard Berger and former Portuguese model Ana Corvo.
This love triangle drama just keeps getting juicier and more complicated! 🔥 What are you thoughts, did the Aussie cheated on his ex-girlfriend as some people say? Did he moved on too fast? or did he do the right thing? Let us know in the comments!
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user I actually feel bad for Y/N, not a fan of hers at all but it must be hard to see the man you were talking of marriage with a month ago, move on from your relationship so quickly and easily. if it were me in her shoes, I know it'd really mess my head up 😕
user2 idc if he'd not been with Heidi physically while being with Y/N, it's still treason to be emotionally involved with someone else while you're in a relationship. I believe he already had feelings for Heidi while still being with Y/N because how the fuck can you move on from a whole 2-year relationship in two weeks?? I only hope Y/N is doing okay and that she gets to heal and find someone better for her 😞
user3 you can try to defend him with all the arguments you can think of but at the end of the day, he is still just a rich man. It's funny how you've been all pointing fingers at the innocent while playing lawyer to the guilty.
user4 I'm a Danny Ricc fan but I think this was too fast too soon, at least have some respect for your ex who stood by your side through the highs and lows of the past years, smh so disappointed
user5 Get over it already! He moved on to someone better, as he should. Let the poor man alone! He's been single for weeks! He's allowed to see anyone he wants! Stop whining about it, Y/N just wasn't enough, as simple as that 🤷🏽‍♀️
user6 I'm actually super worried for him, he's not himself lately. Just a few weeks ago he was calling Y/N the love of his life and now this? All jokes aside, I think he's self-sabotaging. He looks like a shell of his old-self, he is not smiling as bright as before, he's super quiet now and if you pay attention to him during interviews, he fidgets a lot and sounds so insecure when asked about his driving. GO TO THERAPY BABE!!!
userA you are reaching, babe! lmaoooo he's fine, he just got tired of that snake 🤪
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APRIL 2, 2022
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APRIL 22, 2022
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MAY 3, 2022
danielricciardo
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liked by corey_wilson, michaelitaliano, mclaren and 269,852 others
danielricciardo Miami. We made it.
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user i guess this is the confirmation we've been waiting for
user2 how can you move on from a 2 year relationship so fast??
user3 ugh men are so fucking unbelievable
userA jokes on all those whiny fangirls of his, turns out it wasn't he who deserved better, it was HER.
user4 he is a joke just like his driving lmao
user5 Heidi is so much better than that wannabe singer, she was just a plaything for him 🤣
user6 I'm so glad you opened up your eyes daniel
user7 so all those rumours have been true smh y'all were attacking Y/N nonestop for the smallest interactions with the opposite sex, and none of those rumours proved to be true but I'm not seeing the same energy directed towards him now that the rumours about him were actually true!
user8 I just know that the break up album is gonna be a banger 🔥🤪
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MAY 10, 2022
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JUNE 19, 2022
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⇥ youtube search: falling (harry & y/n's duet version) - love on tour, london night 1
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JUNE 22, 2022
yourinstagram
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liked by markhoppus, phoebebridgers, rubendias and 2,145,873 others
yourinstagram burned other memories just to make room for these ones 🎞️❤️‍🔥
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user HI MOTHER!! WELCOME BACK WE MISSED YOU ❤️❤️❤️
user1 we love to see you living your best life!!! 🥰
user2 Can't wait to listen to the full version of the song she plays on the last slide 🤩
userA Daniel Ricciardo is shaking in his boots right now 🤪
machinegunkelly 🖤🥀🤘🏼
user3 🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍
markhoppus kid what are you holding on your lap and why it isn't on my liquor shelf yet? 🤨
yourintagram sorry dad 😔 it's on its way to your doorstep right now 🤪 skyehoppus yourintagram make sure you are also included on the package arriving at our door, it's been too long honey ❤️ userA “dad”??? she knows mark hoppus?? what did i miss?? 😳 userB userA they have an on-going joke that mark found her wandering around and adopted her as one of the few blink-182's children along alex gaskarth and jack barakat from all time low 😂 she's super close with his family, too! I remember she collab on a song with him, but they didn't released it and then it got leaked, she did play it at a couple of concerts tho userC userB is it 'thank you & goodnight'? 👀 userB userC YES! I miss her pop-punk era 😔 that version she did of 'little lion man' was soooo good!!
user4 Baby Iza is on her way to hit a bitch (Daniel)
alexalbon I like pizza too 👀🍕
lilymhe sorry baby, bad bitches only 💅🏻
user5 OMG OMG WE'VE GOT HARRY, TAYLOR AND Y/N IN ONE POST?! THE HOLY TRINITY RIGHT THERE 😍
harrystyles ❤️
user6 I've got my two mothers in one photo 😭❤️
taylorswift Ms. Falls-a-lot 👻❤️
yourinstagram I swear I'm gonna scare you too next time 🙄😂
lilymhe walking among legends on this post 🙇🏻‍♀️ #blessed 🙏🏻
user6 I'm so happy that she's finally back ❤️ we need to flood her comment section with love 🥰
user7 Drama queen of this generation. Always playing the victim & tricking people into thinking that she's a mental health advocate. You're way too far from that. Cancel her 👍🏻🐍
user8 the caption: ICONIC 🔥
userA the taxi driver is twisting on his grave 😂🤪
user9 the old Y/N can't come to the phone right now, why? Oh 'cause she's DEAD! 😎
user10 most untalented celeb ever
fioamato where was my invitation? 🤨 yourinstagram iamdannaschwarz
iamdannaschwarz you got one, you just decided to ditch us for mr. i-have-an-art-gallery 🤨 yourinstagram iamdannaschwarz yessss expose her, dannita! 🤭 No te hagas de la víctima, mi corazón. We've got the receipts 😎🧾 fioamato I hate you both 🙄
user11 you should be ashamed to post a photo holding a tequila bottle when so many young people follow you. You should be a role model to them, not another alcoholic celebrity 🙄
user12 babygirl I hope you are doing better and feeling great! You deserve so much more ❤️
userA she's as fabulous as ever while he's floping big time, I call that karma 💅 userB not many people know how to truly appreciate the unique sazón and sabor of a Latina 🔥 homeboy couldn't handle the heat 🤭
user13 I know that album is gonna be 🔥🔥🔥
user14 attention seeker no wonder you always get dump for someone better
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JUNE 30, 2022
Video — CLEAN SHEET KINGS | STONES & DIAS
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─── Please don't forget to reblog and/or comment! ♡
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xx-slug-xx · 6 months
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//tw- antis, sa, death
Some shit I found on Twitter today. The fuck are antis on
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When someone dies, it is traumatic. Full stop. Death is the worst fear that we, as people, instinctively have. If someone in our lives dies, it it’s terrifying. Not only is it a reminder of our own mortality, but it’s also heartbreaking to loose someone. Especially when it’s someone close to us. To say that it’s not traumatic because they are gone is absurd. It’s traumatic BECAUSE someone you love is gone. It’s not an “out of sight out of mind” type deal. People don’t suddenly mean nothing if they are dead. And if this anti was referencing how dead people can’t be traumatized by their own death, that’s still fucked up. It’s true, but their death will affect the people around them. And the people who experience attempted murder, and live with the trauma of living with a near death experience? Do they not matter? Should they have died instead of living?
If this is how someone truly feels about death (nonspecific and just generally death), I fully believe that they should seek therapy. This is an abnormal response to loss, and it can be a good indicator of underlying mental health issues that can and will cause further problems for both the people experiencing this sort of feeling and the people around them.
I don’t want the morality police to start saying this type of thing though. It makes their argument even more outlandish imo. If real death means nothing to you, but fictional death does, then what kind of moral stand point is that even supposed to be? And to say that people are better off dead than to live their lives with the experience of trauma is disgusting. Victims of sexual abuse, or anyone who has experienced trauma of any sort, often feel like they should be dead and struggle with suicidal thoughts. I know my own trauma has caused this in me when I was younger. By saying that victims are better off dead helps drive people over the edge. This is abhorrent. And maybe, that’s what they want. Victims deserve to live regardless.
There’s beauty in this world, and we are here too see it and to create more of that beauty for others. Nobody is better off dead because of the things in our lives that were out of our hands.
As a csa survivor myself, yes, my trauma is life long and will always affect me to some degree. However, I’ve grown past it. I’m more than my trauma, and so is every other victim out there. It’s important to my growth as a person and my experiences. But it doesn’t define my whole life. I won’t give my trauma the right to dictate who I am or how I behave. I’m not an animal that needs to be put out of my misery because of what I went through. Death is not a better option to living with past trauma
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mengjue · 1 year
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What's Happening in China? The November 2022 Protests
Hello! I know that there's so much going on in the world right now, so not everyone may be aware of what is happening in China right now. I thought that I would try to write a brief explainer, because the current wave of protests is truly unprecedented in the past 30+ years, and there is a lot of fear over what may happen next. For context, I'm doing this as someone who has a PhD in Asian Studies specialising in contemporary Chinese politics, so I don't know everything but I have researched China for many years.
I'll post some decent links at the end along with some China specialists & journalists I follow on Twitter (yeah I know, but it's still the place for the stuff at the moment). Here are the bullet points for those who just want a brief update:
Xi Jinping's government is still enacting a strict Zero Covid policy enforced by state surveillance and strict lockdowns.
On 24 November a fire in an apartment in Urumqi, Xinjiang province, killed 10. Many blamed strict quarantine policies on preventing evacuation.
Protests followed and have since spread nationwide.
Protesters are taking steps not seen since Tiananmen in 1989, including public chants for Xi and the CCP to step down.
Everyone is currently unsure how the government will respond.
More in-depth discussion and links under the cut:
First a caveat: this is my own analysis/explanation as a Chinese politics specialist. I will include links to read further from other experts and journalists. Also, this will be quite long, so sorry about that!
China's (aka Xi Jinping's) Covid Policy:
The first and most important context: Xi has committed to a strict Zero Covid policy in China, and has refused to change course. Now, other countries have had similar approaches and they undoubtedly saved lives - I was fortunate to live in New Zealand until this year, and Prime Minister Ardern's Zero Covid approach in 2020-2021 helped protect many. The difference is in the style/scope of enforcement, the use of vaccines, and the variant at play. China has stepped up its control on public life over the past 10 years, and has used this to enforce strict quarantine measures without full regard to the impact on people's lives - stories of people not getting food were common. Quarantine has also become a feared situation, as China moves people to facilities often little better than prisons and allegedly without much protection from catching Covid within. A personal friend in Zhengzhou went through national, then provincial, then local quarantines when moving back from NZ, and she has since done her best to avoid going back for her own mental and physical health. Xi has also committed China to its two home-grown vaccines, Sinovac and Sinopharm, both of which have low/dubious efficacy and are considered ineffective against new variants. Finally, with delta and then omicron most of the Zero-Covid countries have modified their approach due to the inability to maintain zero cases. China remains the only country still enacting whole-city eradication lockdowns, and they have become more frequent to the point that several are happening at any given time. The result is a population that is incredibly frustrated and losing hope amidst endless lockdowns and perceived ineffectiveness to address the pandemic.
Other Issues at Play:
Beyond the Covid situation, China is also wrestling with the continued slowdown in its economic growth. While its economic rise and annual GDP growth was nigh meteoric from the 80s to the 00s, it has been slowing over the past ten years, and the government is attempting to manage the transition away from an export-oriented economy to a more fully developed one. However, things are still uncertain, and Covid has taken its toll as it has elsewhere the past couple of years. Youth unemployment in particular is reaching new highs at around 20%, and Xi largely ignored this in his speech at the Party Congress in October (where he entered an unprecedented third term). As a result of the perceived uselessness of China's harsh work culture and its failure to result in a better life, many young Chinese have been promoting 躺平 tǎng píng or "lying flat", aka doing the bare minimum just to get by (similar to the English "quiet quitting"). The combination of economic issues and a botched Covid approach is important, as these directly affect the lives of ordinary middle-class Chinese, and historical it has only been when this occurred that mass movements really took off. The most famous, Tiananmen in 1989, followed China's opening up economic reforms and the dismantling of many economic safety nets allowing for growing inequality. While movements in China often grow to include other topics, having a foundation in something negatively impacting the average Han Chinese person's livelihood is important.
The Spark - 24 Nov 2022 Urumqi Apartment Fire:
The current protests were sparked by a recent fire that broke out in a flat in Urumqi, capital of the Xinjiang province. (This is the same Xinjiang that is home to the Uighur people, against whom China has enacted a campaign of genocide and cultural destruction.) The fire occurred in the evening and resulted in 10 deaths, which many online blamed on the strict lockdown measures imposed by officials, who prevented people from leaving their homes. It even resulted in a rare public apology by city officials. However, with anger being so high nationwide, in addition to many smaller protests that have occurred over the past two years, this incident has ignited a nationwide movement.
The Protests and Their Significance:
The protests that have broken out over the past couple of days representing the largest and most significant challenge to the leadership since the 1989 Tiananmen movement. Similar to that movement, these protests have occurred at universities and cities across the country, with many students taking part openly. This scale is almost unseen in China, particularly for an anti-government protest. Other than Tiananmen in 1989, the most widespread movements that have occurred have been incidents such as the protest of the 1999 Belgrade bombings or the 2005 and then 2012 anti-Japanese protests, all of which were about anger toward a foreign country.
Beyond the scale the protests are hugely significant in their message as well. Protesters are publicly shouting the phrases "习近平下台 Xí Jìnpíng xiàtái!" and "共产党 下台 Gòngchǎndǎng xiàtái!", which mean "Xi Jinping, step down/resign!" and "CCP, step down/resign!" respectively. To shout a direct slogan for the government to resign is unheard of in China, particularly as Xi has tightened control of civil society. And people are doing this across the country in the thousands, openly and in front of police. This is a major challenge for a leader and party who have prioritised regime stability as a core interest for the majority of their history.
Looking Ahead:
Right now, as of 15:00 Australian Eastern time on Monday, 28 November 2022, the protests are only in their first couple of days and we are unsure as to how the government will respond. Police have already been seen beating protesters and journalists and dragging them away in vehicles. However, in many cases the protests have largely been monitored by police but still permitted to occur. There seems to be uncertainty as to how they want to respond just yet, and as such no unified approach.
Many potential outcomes exist, and I would warn everyone to be careful in overplaying what can be achieved. Most experts I have read are not really expecting this to result in Xi's resignation or regime change - these things are possible, surely, but it is a major task to achieve and the unity & scale of the protest movement remains to be fully seen. The government may retaliate with a hard crackdown as it has done with Tiananmen and other protests throughout the years. It may also quietly revamp some policies without publicly admitting a change in order to both pacify protesters and save face. The CCP often uses mixed tactics, both coopting and suppressing protest movements over the years depending on the situation. Changing from Zero Covid may prove more challenging though, given how much Xi has staked his political reputation on enforcing it.
What is important for everyone online, especially those of us abroad, is to watch out for the misinformation campaign the government will launch to counter these protests. Already twitter is reportedly seeing hundreds of Chinese bot accounts mass post escort advertisements using various city names in order to drown out protest results in the site's search engine. Chinese officials will also likely invoke the standard narrative of Western influence and CIA tactics as the reason behind the protests, as they did during the Hong Kong protests.
Finally, there will be a new surge of misinformation and bad takes from tankies, or leftists who uncritically support authoritarian regimes so long as they are anti-US. An infamous one, the Qiao Collective, has already worked to shift the narrative away from the protests and onto debating the merits of Zero Covid. This is largely similar to pro-Putin leftists attempting the justify his invasion of Ukraine. Always remember that the same values that you use to criticise Western countries should be used to criticise authoritarian regimes as well - opposing US militarism and racism, for example, is not incompatible with opposing China's acts of genocide and state suppression. If you want further info (and some good sardonic humour) on the absurd takes and misinfo from pro-China tankies, I would recommend checking out Brian Hioe in the links below.
Finally, keep in mind that this is a grass-roots protest made by people in China, who are putting their own lives at risk to demonstrate openly like this. There have already been so many acts of bravery by those who just want a better future for themselves and their country, and it is belittling and disingenuous to wave away everything they are doing as being just a "Western front" or a few "fringe extremists".
Links:
BBC live coverage page with links to analysis and articles
ABC (Australia) analysis
South China Morning Post analysis
Experts & Journalists to Check Out:
Brian Hioe - Journalist & China writer, New Bloom Magazine
Bonnie Glaser - China scholar, German Marshall Fund
Vicky Xu - Journalist & researcher, Australian Strategic Policy Institute
Stephen McDonnell - Journalist, BBC
M Taylor Fravel - China scholar, MIT
New Zealand Contemporary China Research Centre - NZ's hub of China scholarship (I was fortunate to attend their conferences during my PhD there, they do great work!)
If you've reached the end I hope this helps with understanding what's going on right now! A lot of us who know friends and whanau in China are worried for their safety, so please spread the word and let's hope that there is something of a positive outcome ahead.
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dfortrafalgar · 1 month
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I'm Losing You... (But We're Filling the Cracks)
Having a family isn't always as easy as fairy tales make it seem. But sometimes, you just need a little bit of love... and a little bit of science.
Warnings: read chapter 1 for warnings.
Taglist: @phsycochan | @mirillua | @augustanna | @chaixsherlock | @whore-of-many-hot-men | @nerdisthenewcool | @lilypadmomentum
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Chapter 25
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The shock did not go away.  If anything, it packed its bags and moved into your home.
You stood in front of the mirror in your bathroom dressed in only your bra and underwear.  Law stood behind you, leaning against the door frame with his arms crossed over his chest.  The air in the room was stifling as you gazed at the bump that had already started showing in your belly.
You had an approximate due date.  May 22nd.
You were officially, according to your implantation date and calculations done by Robin, on your ninth week of pregnancy.  Your hCG levels in each blood test had increased as expected, and your babies had heartbeats.
Your babies.  Plural.
Your symptoms were exacerbated by the fact that you had not one, but two embryos inside you.  Breast tenderness, backaches, nausea, dizziness, the whole nine yards.
Though, if you were being fair to yourself, your dizziness could easily have been a side effect of being labeled as ‘extremely high risk.’  Due to your history, and now due to being pregnant with multiples, you were given strict instructions to be much more present at your doctor’s office.  You were given prenatal vitamins to begin taking daily every single morning.  You were given foods to avoid in order to lower your risk of developing gestational diabetes.  You were also given foods more encouraged to eat.  Raise your blood iron.  Raise your sodium, but not too much.  Eat an increase of around 1000 calories a day to support the growth of two placentas and two babies.  Watch out for spotting, bleeding, pelvic pain, irregular bowel movements.  Watch out for headaches and weight gain or discolored urine, you might die.  Keep an eye on your mental health, what stresses you, stresses the babies.  But mostly, be excited!
Yeah, right.
Your hand traced the small bump in your belly.
“You know…” you began, making Law perk his head up to listen to you.  “I always thought that seeing a baby bump would be the most exciting moment of my life… but I’ve never been more scared.  Ever.”
Law approached you from behind, wrapping his hands around your bare waist and resting his chin on the crown of your head.  His scent enveloped you like a blanket, instantly warming your skin and calming your heightened nerves.  One of his hands traveled down the skin of your abdomen, resting on top of where yours lay above your uterus.
“I can’t lie to you… I am, too,” he added, his voice heavy with thought.
“Am I a bad person for not being excited?” you asked, your voice surprisingly stable despite the racing heart in your chest.  “I mean, I am excited.  So far their hearts are still beating… but…”
“You’re not a bad person at all,” replied your husband, planting a kiss to the back of your head.  “It’s perfectly rational that you feel scared.”
“Terrified…” you clarified for the both of you.  “I feel terrified.”
You and Law made eye contact in the mirror.  The way he had his arms wrapped around you reminded you of a security blanket given to trauma victims in an ambulance.  The thought made a wry smile break out onto your lips, making your husband cock an eyebrow.
“What’s got you smiling all of a sudden?” he asked with a slight upward turn to the corner of his mouth.
You mustered out a dry chuckle.  “You’re my trauma victim security blanket.”
The randomness of your sentence made Law’s shoulders bounce slightly as he laughed, holding you closer to him.  “I know it’s really hard for you to do so, but I think we should both try as hard as we can to think positively.  It’ll probably be healthier for you.”
You looked up at him, a smirk dancing over your face.  “That sounds crazy coming from you.”
You yelped in surprise as Law scooped you into his arms and carried you to your shared bedroom before plopping you down on your mattress, him sprawling out beside you.  “What was that for?”
“So you wouldn’t stress yourself out in the mirror,” he replied, his voice hoarse yet tender as he stared at you from his pillow.  “I’m being serious, though.  I know the stakes are high, but there’s gotta be things we can think about to prevent you from getting stressed.”
You turned your body to lay on your back, lacing your hand with his as you stared at your ceiling.  “Any examples?”
Law hummed in thought, glancing around the room.  His eyes landed on your framed, signed Sora poster.  The frame had a very small crack in it from being moved out of your sophomore year dorm room, but the poster inside was still in perfect condition.  “Think about our kids watching Sora.  Maybe we can dress them up as Sora and Stealth Black for Halloween.”
The tender thought almost immediately made you smile.  Your mind flooded with even more thoughts of Law as a dad, tailoring Halloween costumes for his kids and making them feel perfect.  Your thoughts of Law with one baby had now evolved into thoughts of him with two, rocking two armfuls of swaddled infants to sleep, kissing their little foreheads, pushing them in a double stroller.  Your eyes began to well with tears which you quickly blinked away, choosing instead to push yourself up and roll over, hooking one of your legs in between Law’s and laying across his chest.  His arms instinctively wrapped around your waist, tracing invisible patterns into the skin of your back.
“I get really happy thinking about you as a dad,” you sighed.  “You’re gonna be so amazing.”
Law chuckled, his chest rumbling.  “That’s the kind of positivity I’m talking about.”
You giggled.  “I mean it, though.  Remember before we got married and you said you were so scared to have kids one day?  Because you didn’t want them to go through what we had?”
His face fell slightly, recalling the memory.  He was still in the middle of his residency program, and you were jumping job to job with random, unstable freelance gigs.  It wasn’t the instability of your lives that made him weary, however.  Rather, it was the looming anxiety that everything good in Law’s life would someday be snatched away from him.  And that had happened to you, twice.
But when he stepped back and thought about the broader picture, it got easier for him to see clearly.  How you put up with his shitty attitude when you first met.  How quickly you opened yourself up to him, exposing your deepest fears and troubles and being patient with him when he struggled to reveal his own worries to you.  How you told him you loved him after only five months, terrified that you were going to scare him off, and all he could do in response was give you the most awkward, inexperienced kiss you had probably ever received.  And you stayed by his side even when it took him almost a full year to say those three little words back.
You brushed your fingers along Law’s cheek, tracing the soft hair of his sideburns before hooking around his head and burying into the fluffy black wisps behind his ear.  You pressed a smattering of kisses across his jaw and cheekbones, over his nose and finally on his lips.  “When I think about positive things, I think of you.”
Law’s lips broke into a wide smile, the kind of smile he only ever showed you.  The kind of smile that wrinkled the skin around his eyes and revealed the single small dimple he had on his right cheek.
A sudden ringing from his phone on the bedside table startled the two of you out of your lovestruck daze.  With a grumble, he reached over and grabbed the device, you rolling off of him and sitting criss-cross on your side of the bed.  He tapped the answer button and pressed the phone to his ear.  You could just barely make out the words spoken on the other end.  After a brief goodbye, Law hung up the call and uttered a heavy sigh before standing up and grabbing his uniform coat.
“Emergency surgery?” you asked.  You were only slightly disappointed with the interruption of your intimate moment, but it was nothing you weren’t already used to.
He nodded with a frown before walking back over to you and stealing a quick kiss from your lips.  “Patient just came into the ED with a STEMI.  I’ll be back as soon as I can.”
“Don’t worry about me, go save the world,” you said with a smile.  He tossed you a somber grin as he stepped into his shoes, grabbed his work bag, and booked it out the door.  Living two minutes away from the hospital by car definitely had its perks.
You were surrounded by silence in your apartment when the front door was closed behind your husband.  With a sigh, you stood from the bed and paced toward Law’s wardrobe, opening the bottom drawer and pulling out one of his old sweatshirts.  It had a custom design on the front of it, one that he also had tattooed on his back.  His living situation after he lost his biological family wasn’t ideal, but the little ways he held onto the memory of his adoptive father always brought a smile to your face.  You pulled the hoodie over you, taking off your bra underneath it and throwing it onto the end of your mattress, tiredly rubbing your sore breasts underneath the soft cotton of his shirt.  You turned around to face the rest of your bedroom.
The pregnancy journal that you barely started writing in was placed on top of Law’s desk.  With a deep breath, you grabbed the book, a pen, and a roll of white-out tape and proceeded to your couch in the living room.
You smiled at the sight of Bepo, stomach completely upward facing and paws outstretched as he snoozed away on his dog bed.  You had a feeling Bepo was going to be an absolutely incredible big brother.
You leaned against a pillow rested along the arm of the couch and propped up your knees to place the book on your thighs.  You finally mustered up your anxieties and opened the cover.
“Nothing but positivity,” you muttered to yourself.  You uncapped the pen and started writing.
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chilapis · 4 months
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edit: refined/updated version of the content below -> here.
I am. deeply struggling to word my thoughts but I’ve been thinking about Childe and Garnets since morning.
Did you know garnets are gemstones generally known for their gorgeous blood-red hues (though like most other gems, they do come in other colours as well)? Did you know their name actually comes from the Latin word for pomegranate because of the similarity in colours?
Did you know that because of that similarity, garnets have been seen as a symbol reflecting the affection shared between Persephone and Hades? Did you know that the gemstone actually developed an association with Persephone, the Greek goddess known for her duality? The goddess of spring, and fertility but also queen of the underworld?
A duality finding balance of gentle innocence and growth, and death, reincarnation; even referred to as a protector(ess) in reference to the latter?
And on the topic of protection, did you know it was used by travellers journeying far from home so popularly that it’s sometimes referred to as the Traveller’s stone? It was seen as a bringer of good fortune and protection for those travelling; it was thought that it would bring them back to their homeland safely. It was actually given to loved ones embarking on faraway journeys quite commonly, with the hope that this stone would guide them home safe and sound. It has also been noted to be a popular gift among lovers to symbolise their affection but its most popular tradition (at-least in the past) remains that of it being gifted with the hope of being reunited, of having this person who means so much to you, finally come back home to you. And whether or not you believe in stone-related superstitions and myths, is there not sweetness to be found in the desperate human impulse to find comfort? Even if you view the belief to be silly, the fact that to console the anxiety and fear rooted in that separation, the people from those times dedicated these feelings and warmth to this stone, isn’t that special?
That said though, this stone also stands to represent passion, strength, vigour and life. It’s recommended for those who feel fatigued because it’s said to energize the wearer’s mind and body alike, while granting protection and strength alongside. This strength is generally seen to be mental but some might even argue it to be physical due to the belief that it promotes health of the heart and bones; and in association with the heart, promotes recovery from disorders or deficiencies regarding the blood. This stone protects, strengthens, energises, protects, and impassions.
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I mean, I don’t know, the idea of a blood-red stone related with life, passion and strength that also has a history of being given to loved ones journeying away from their homelands to protect them and bring them home in one piece while also standing to represent the goddess, the protector, that balances both the gentle spring and the depths of the lower world just sounds strangely suitable for a certain someone.
+TL;DR: [desperately trying to flirt] wow handsome, you are so. rock
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So the Madoka Magica movie is coming out and there's a lot of speculation about how it's going to end (or rather, be the start of a new series of movies/a show? Idk, it was extremely vague.)
And while I love the idea of Homura and Madoka ending up together because they both deserve some happiness, I can't help but feel like the best ending for Homura at this point is letting Madoka go so she can become a healthy adult (which, let's be real, that's not possible in this world.)
And by "letting go," I don't mean cutting contact or abandoning her, I mean they can still be friends while Homura can become a person who sees herself worthy of living with or without Madoka. Because as much as I love my favorite tragic lesbians, Homura isn't her own person in the relationship with Madoka.
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Like, Madoka has a loving family, loving friends, and people cheering her on. And even if she doesn't believe she's good enough to do anything, she still objectively has things going for her, a safety net if you will. And she still has a goal in mind that doesn't involve one specific person, but rather she wants to become someone that people can depend on/wants to help other people (regardless if this is at the cost of herself.) I'm not saying it's a good or even a healthy goal but with some tweaks, I could see the goal becoming something she could work toward as a means of personal growth and not just because she thinks she's useless.
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Meanwhile, Homura doesn't even have parents as far as we're concerned.
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The only ties she has that we're told about are the catholic school she attended and the hospital she pretty much lives in. No friends, no family, and no aspirations of her own. And because of her circumstances, she really wouldn't be able to. It's no fault of her own. I get why, then, she attaches herself to someone like Madoka. I'm sure ANYONE would attach themselves to Madoka if they were in the position Homura was in.
And then that starts the obsession. A long, tiring journey in which this poor girl sacrifices her mental health, her youth, countless years spent trying to save this doom girl and her doomed friends while she herself is also doomed. She's pretty much made herself Madoka's sole protector while also not allowing herself to even do or enjoy the one thing she wanted in the first place; being Madoka's friend.
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It's all but confirmed that Homura hates everything about herself as seen in her backstory and rebellion when she was destroying her labyrinth. Her saving Madoka is the one good thing she thinks she's associated with, so much so that she's OK with dying either to protect Madoka or in a world without her.
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Like, the concept of one person being the only reason you continue existing is so unhealthy (note that I'm not saying their relationship itself is, it's just her mindset.) I completely understand wanting to help your friend you know...not die a terrible death, but Homura doesn't think she has anything going for her outside of protecting someone else and that's such a sad thought to me. She thinks of all her past friends as enemies now, and she alienated herself from everyone. She thinks, now, that it's her versus Kyubey, the other magical girls, and Madoka herself. The girl is borderline, if not entirely, suicidal.
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I'm hoping so badly that in the next movie, this is the start of healing for Homura (though it probably won't be because Mr. Uro loves his sad/bitter-sweet endings.) I hope this is the start where she's able to piece together who she is outside of wanting Madoka, who she could've been had Kyubey not manipulated her and the other girls into making contracts, had her parents not died, had her body not been as fragile as it was, had her confidence been strong, had she felt she was good enough to befriend and get close to other people without fearing her hurting them or them hurting her.
Sayaka was able to let the bitterness of not being with Kyosuke go, accepting that even though she wanted him, she couldn't be with him and even if she was, she never would've been happy. She was able to realize the flaws in her "ideal magical girl" concept and accept the fact that she's just one person and even though she's not perfect and didn't get the thing she wanted, she's still able to be a hero in her own right in the company of people who actually love and support her because she's Sayaka Miki, not because she's a heroic magical girl.
Mami was able to be honest with herself, similar to Sayaka, that she's not a perfect person, that the perfect magical girl illusion was never her. She's able to admit to herself that she was inherently selfish that all she wanted was friends and family, and that there's nothing wrong with that. She doesn't have to keep up the pressures of being perfect and mature and all-knowing because, at the end of the day, she is still that little girl who almost died in a car crash that claimed her parents' lives, and she has to live with the fact that she didn't and wasn't able to save them even when she had the chance to. And she's able to come to terms with the fact that though she was alone, she didn't have to be lonely. She's able to realize that it's not too late for her and she can make her own family that will stick around with her, flaws and all. And she can be a good role model for her little sister surrogate and also orphan Nagisa, but this time, she can be a realistic big sister rather than an idealistic one.
Kyoko can move past the pain of her family's demise, and unlike Mami, feels as though she is directly responsible for it. She was a naive kid who only wanted the best for her family and yet, by doing the "right thing" her father goes on a massive suicide-homicide rampage and she's left to think that her naivety, that her wanting to do the right thing, was what killed them. But no, it wasn't. It's ok to have hope and to have the desire to help others and do the right thing. While the actions of the wish were undesirable, it didn't change the fact that Kyoko's heart was in the right place and that she could continue to try to help others without fear of it coming back to haunt her. She can let the tense guard she's had up since her family's death and enjoy the little things in life she never got to when she was too poor; food, drink, comfort, and having others around that care about you. While she thought that it was her wish and her misunderstanding of what her father wanted that ultimately killed her family, it's the same desire and intentions that push her to save Sayaka and befriend her and the other girls later on.
Now Madoka is an interesting case because she, like Homura, is sort of trapped in being who they were before they gained powers.
Now that Madoka is essentially back to where she started (unlike everyone else who at least has something/someone in their lives now in Rebellion compared to the OG series where they were missing those intimate connections) again,
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she's left to feel like she's missing a key part of herself (only in the OG series, she was missing the confidence she had the in OG timeline as a magical girl whereas, in Rebellion, she's literally the missing part of the Law of Cycles) and you're left to wonder if she'll be satisfied, or will she challenge this new world that seems too good to be true, a world that was made just for her and only her?
And Homura?
Poor Homura.
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Being an orphan and having no one, not even doctors or nurses it looks like, be close to you? Being unable to live comfortably due to a physical condition you had no say in? Having to be behind because of said physical condition and then having an inferiority complex WHILE teachers belittle you for things out of your control? So then you consider yourself a burden and truly believe only death and loneliness await you? AND YOU’RE ONLY 14???
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And then you think you've met this amazing person, this girl who thinks you're interesting and cool with no ulterior notices, a girl with amazing powers that are as wonderful as her only to have the rug pulled under you and realize that the cost of those powers and your protection is her's and others like her inevitable demise.
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So then you attempt to right that wrong because even further than your want to save your friends, you know the system that they're in is objectively terrible and needs to be torn down.
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But then you try to warn said friends about the system and all they do is belittle you and admit they're comfortable in something that's designed to kill them before they turn twenty, and when (or even if) they're finally aware of the system and the terrible reality of it, they STILL blame you for not telling them sooner even though you tried your damn hardest? Or even worse, try to KILL you after they find out for themselves?
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And then top that off with an oppressive alien race trying to control you and pretty much end your life prematurely or turn you into an immortal Lovecraftian Paper mache creature that looks like it was created by five-year-olds should you fall into despair at the hands of this default depressive system and you'll have to remain like that, killing and trapping people while you have no memories of your life as a human and have to live as an animal of pure instinct and evilnesses until some unknowing other magical girl puts you out of your misery, and the cycle will rise and repeat eternally.
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Then not to mention other magical girls who try to "game the system" (which only leads to them dying/witching out even earlier, indirectly harming the girl you're trying to protect) or even worse, the girls see you as competition because they're insecure/power hungry instead of joining you in taking down the system set up so where death is an inevitable thing regardless, indirectly siding with the species that are literally killing them slowly but surely (and yet you're somehow still the problem in their eyes.) And then to add the shit sprinkles to this shit show of life, you have to battle this biblically accurate German clown of a witch that's a bunch of witched-out magical girls mashed together like a Cthulu-esque Ren and Stimpy-type creation (that's also pretty much invincible to everything that you and all of the nukes and missiles you store in a tiny, rinky-dink space-time shield you were pretty much cursed with while everyone else gets a built-in weapon.)
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Not to mention the PTSD of having everyone and everything around you die and crumple to bits for 12 years over and over again, failing at every turn to complete the only goal you have for yourself (which isn't even for you, it's just saving another person because you believe you're extensible at that point) and at every twist and turn, you're beaten, bruised, belittled, scared, tired, pushed to the brink and all alone with no one to depend on because you're the ONLY one who can and will remember anything once you have to go back in time.
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And then you learn the more you go back in time, the more fate and karma you're attaching to this girl which makes the aliens target her even more because of the level of potential she has. And even worse, you find out that the girl you've been fighting so hard to protect is now an entirely different person, lacking the confidence and outgoingness that made you fall in love in the first place, her desire to become a confident magical girl being unfulfilled because of you.
But you have to play the smaller evil. You have to deter her from making a wish, even if it means inadvertently scaring her away from the idea, even if it means being cold and calculated and harsh because she won't listen otherwise.
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You have to crush that confidence because that desire will only lead to her death, but she can't know that because well, you still want her to trust you.
But because you've been trying so hard to scare her away from the idea of becoming a magical girl, she ends up becoming scared anyway and distancing herself from you, meaning you don't even have the comfort of knowing you two are friends anymore.
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And even still, all of the other magical girls, including her, always end up dead or turning into witches no matter what you do, leaving you to fight the final boss witch alone and failing every single time because it's just too powerful.
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But you can't stop. No matter what, you can't stop. Because stopping means death for you, the girl you love, and the entire world, whether it be because of Walpurgis or Madoka's witch which is only so powerful because of you and your time-traveling shenanigans.
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So you do another timeline, and things go wrong like they have for the past 100 timelines so you're just numb to it now, and while you're fighting the boss witch, you get critically injured. And now armed with the knowledge that you'd just be putting an even bigger target on your friend's back, you resolve that your efforts were all in vain and useless and decide to just let yourself witch out because you have no other choice.
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Only, you're interrupted by your friend, who's finally ready to put her fears aside and make a wish.
Your biggest fear is coming true and you're powerless to stop it.
So she makes her wish and becomes a magical girl Jesus pretty much and restores hope to every magical girl.
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Every magical girl except for you.
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She says your efforts are the reason why she was able to make such a powerful wish and thanks you for your service, as if you're an old veteran about to retire, and then she ejects you to a remade world, a world without her.
And you're doomed to fight in this world, the world she gave her life to protect, a world in which only you remember her. You don't let yourself become too close to the other magical girls for fear of losing that connection once the Law of Cycles takes them away.
So you're doomed, essentially. The one thing you've fought to protect is gone forever and there's no one but you left to grieve for her, and you start an endless fight against the new evil creatures in place of witches until you're about to disappear yourself.
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But you don't even have the comfort of peaceful passing on because AHA!, that evil alien race wants to you use as a sadistic experiment to inflict suffering on you and the other magical girls while controlling the one saving grace you all had, to restart the terrible system you were trying to run away from in the original world.
So they place you in this fake simulation of happiness and fun and magical girl transformations all for the sake of controlling you and the girl you fought for and thought was safe.
So you take matters into your own hands and resign to destroy the labyrinth, even if it means your death, hoping the other magical girls put you out of your misery once and for all.
But if you die, then who would be left to protect that girl you love so much?
So you take matters into your own hands and override her power, creating an idealized world in which everyone can be happy at the cost of making all of your past friends your enemies later.
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Even the girl you love and gave your life for time and time again.
All for the sake of keeping her safe once more from not only herself since you pulled a piece of her from the Law of Cycles, but also those terrible aliens who can only think about themselves and their sick curiosity.
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I so badly want a happy ending for Homura, and I'm so hoping that that happy ending is one without magic or Karmaic fate or the weight of 26 years of repeated time travel or having to save her girlfriend from a terrible demise or dooming herself to magical Jesus type limbo for eternity all while she's the only one who can remember.
Outside of Madoka, what does Homura enjoy now in Rebellion? What were her dreams, if she had any? Her aspirations? What was her childhood like (even though we know it was lonely) was there anything in her life that even remotely made her feel that living was worth it?
If and when she becomes an adult, what will she be like? What career what she want to pursue? What interests her? What does she want the most for herself? Power? Fame? Company? Comfort?
And will it even be possible for her to enjoy anything outside of Madoka so long as she attaches her self worth to this one, ordinary girl?
Will she succeed in protecting her at the cost of herself? At the cost of anyone else excluding the kyubey?
Will she give up ultimate control over the world, or will she double down; ok with challenging her friends-turned-enemies all for the sake of her love?
And if so, will she succeed as Madoka's sole, eternal protector forevermore, or she be dethroned and killed, left to rot in a labyrinth of her self-hatred and mistakes? (God, I hope not.)
Or...will she finally be saved and released from the shackles of fate, time, and space so she can live her life as a normal girl, a life she wasn't granted even before she made her wish?
My excitement for this movie is beyond real.
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scourgeblooms · 5 months
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wanted to do a physical timeline for my commander and highlight how he’s changed through the years. this is mostly for my own entertainment BUT I do enjoy seeing the same thing from other folks so I’m posting it here in the hopes that other people share my sentiment. 
(I was ALSO totally inspired by @/manasurge’s hair timeline. it kicks ass. go look at it.) 
elaboration/rambling below the cut!
Personal Story, LW1-2: Popped out of the pod blunt, solicitous, and already maybe a little too paranoid for someone who was born yesterday, but all those traits made him uniquely qualified for a position in military leadership.  Healthy and floral, soft aspen-bark-like skin, delicate petals. black anthers produce pollen. undergoes more fashion changes than physical transformations during this time. gets a little banged up here and there (and maybe has some lasting respiratory effects from the toxic alliance era) but overall feelin a-okay. 
Heart of Thorns: it’s all gone to shit. took a spectacular headdive in both a physical and mental sense with breakneck speed. never “officially” answered mordremoth’s call, but anyone who spent time around him would notice a distinct lack of self control and logical thinking. took on a more sickly pallor, stress caused leaves to shrivel, rot, and decay. lost his lil flower top notch and ability to produce pollen. pupils narrowed to take on a more animalistic look, and enamel growth resulted in sharper, larger teeth. fingers also elongated into claws. never fully physically and mentally recovered from the hell jungle. 
LW3: chopped off most of his leaves to encourage fresh growth. lots of physical healing during this time, though it takes quite a while for his complexion to fully recover. takes on the role of aurene’s champion with gusto. relatively unaffected by bloodstone, but feels the effects of mordremoth’s loose/uncontrolled magic deeply. continues to hear mordremoth’s “voice” and is diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia. 
Path of Fire: still healing from HoT. continues to grow out his leaves. glow returns, as well as some of his eye color. likes the crystal desert, but finds the harsh, dry climate to be particularly challenging; he’s definitely more of a ‘temperate’ sylvari. does not handle dying well. death only adds to his paranoia and psychosis. has an increasingly hard time picking apart what is real and what is…. not. 
LW4: let’s get ready to kill an undead lich!!!! absorbs even more magic after the death of joko and kralkatorrik, and it starts to show in a there-and-gone shimmery aura that takes on a similar appearance to ley lines. starts to suffer from migraine auras. flower top notch grows back, but stays closed and dormant. picks up a few nifty necromancy tricks from the elonians, and the tips of his fingers start to show signs of necrotic decay; all that death magic can’t be good for the complexion, can it? 
Icebrood Saga: having another dragon in his head does not help his mental health in the slightest. braided leaves (courtesy of braham <3) to protect against frostbite. his ley “aura” gets more intense, hard to miss, and is a near constant. flower topnotch remains closed due to the cold weather conditions. after being shot by bangar, his wound is covered/healed by aurene’s brand. migraines increase in frequency, makes it difficult for him to focus. a bone deep exhaustion starts to set in, and more often than not, he catches himself thinking that a nice long nap underneath a blanket of snow doesn’t sound so terrible….
End of Dragons: back in a more agreeable climate, his topnotch finally blooms, but does not grow anthers or produce pollen. easily physically corrupted by void magic, and he feels soo-won’s pain and struggle deeply. the void corruption eventually shows up in the form of darkening leaves, and seeping out of his eyes/tearducts (it’s fine. don’t worry about it.). starts to incorporate chaos magic into his own necromancy practices. has a fucking terrible time in gyala delve. has a fucking terrible time saying goodbye to aurene. 
Secrets of the Obscure: nothing feels entirely real to him anymore. still willing to help, to fight, but it’s done on autopilot at this point. this magical, floating palace in the sky looks and feels like a dream, with the kryptis acting as the encroaching, inevitable turn to a real, living nightmare. still uses a bit of leftover void in his magical practices, but most of the corruption has left his system. that respiratory illness he picked up back in kessex hills comes back to bite him in nayos. finally grows back his anthers, but instead of producing pollen, it's an outlet for void/magic energy.
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utilitycaster · 8 months
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Bells Hells Level 11!
As always: are there errors or major omissions? Let me know! Your preferred feat or spell isn't listed? That's because it's not my preferred feat or spell, and you should make your own post for your own preferences! Additionally, because level-ups are no longer done at the end of sessions but are rather their own separate videos, I now include speculation for the next level(s) since there's often very little time to speculate on the current level.
Chetney: Level 10 in Blood Hunter means Dark Augmentation and a 3rd blood curse. Dark Augmentation increases his speed by 5 feet/round and grants him a +3 (his Int modifier) to all physical saves. As for blood curses...they're fighting mages, so Muddled Mind is looking pretty nice, but Eyeless is also useful and Binding is very versatile. Looking forward: if he continues to level in Blood Hunter, his hemocraft die goes up to a d8, his strikes in his wolf form go up to a d8 and get +2 instead of +1 and he can use his wolf form twice between rests and he regenerates a small amount when he's below half-health. 11 Blood Hunter: It's a big level up, folks.
Laudna: She leveled up in sorcerer and took her ASI to max out charisma, which I support as someone who always respects a main stat boost. She gets a new spell and I would advise leaning into utility and taking Dimension Door, personally. Looking forward: I think I've made my feelings on the concept/multiclass clear in the past, but practically speaking, if you're progressing in sorcerer, it's probably wiser mechanically to keep doing so. Level 9 grants 5th level spells.
FCG: Begone Thot Destroy Undead improvement, and 6th level spells! I mentioned before that I'm really looking forward to Heroes' Feast. He also gets some big utility spells, notably Heal, True Seeing, and Word of Recall. Looking forward: 12 is an ASI and oh buddy please up your WIS score. A feat that does +1 to WIS is a valid choice, just...bring it to +4, please? For me? Observant would be fun if not super necessary since Orym's got that covered; skill expert could also be fun. But as stated with Laudna, straight ASI in your main stat is always a solid choice.
Fearne: Fearne took a second level in rogue, which grants her cunning action (dash, hide, or disengage as a bonus action) which is quite useful if she ends up in combat, especially since, despite a good HP roll this level, she's a touch squishier following her time with Novos. I actually support this, both because Ashley has a strong vision for Fearne and also because I think keeping the party dependent on the Staff of Dark Odyssey is good for the story - let's wait a bit longer until we get Transport via Plants! Let's take the scenic route! Looking forward: L10 druid is a good level - the Cauterizing Flames feature, which is a bit niche but extremely cool, is one I'm looking forward to. I'm not opposed to her moving forward with rogue, per se; I think if she does, Thief is the obvious (and correct) choice. However, Cauterizing Flames is really very good and I would like to see it.
Imogen: I mentioned Chain Lightning and True Seeing as some fun options for her. She also gets access to Disintegrate, which would be very fun to cast on, say, Otohan. Or Ludinus. Or her mom. Fuck them Vanguard. Looking forward: sorry got distracted by the idea of disintegrating the Vanguard members...12 is an ASI and honestly I'd just take the +1 to INT and WIS. Imogen's got so many feats, and I really think having better mental stats would be a great sign of growth, she's done the character work to deserve it, and it never hurts to roll a little better on a wisdom save (I say as a known dumper of WIS).
Orym: He can attack 3 times per round. This is why fighters are great. If you do not think fighters are great you can catch three attacks in six seconds from these hands. Looking forward: yes! it's yet another ASI/Feat. And once again, I think a stats boost is best. Tank better with a +3 to con, and then he can either get smarter, or get more charismatic if he's considering paladin (note: I like the idea of Orym remaining a pure fighter more, but I do not control the Liam, and he's a reliably thoughtful player mechanically so I'm interested in what he does. As always this is me saying opinions and not being prescriptive). He gets another ASI at 14 (fighters! best pure battle class!) while everyone else is getting class features so that's when I'd take a feat.
Ashton: Relentless rage - keep raging while unconscious! Very punk rock. Looking forward: Level 12 is an ASI and yes not to sound like a broken record, but max out that strength. It's up to you and Chetney, and who knows how much longer he'll be around.
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