#bro just say youre still xenophobic and go | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

letrune · 29 days

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You know what annoys me in Harry Potter?

And let us imagine for a moment that the author is Hatsune Miku. That it is an adaptation of Neil Cicierega's Potter Puppet Pals. That Warner Bros is not holding the franchise with patents and trademarks well beyond the powers of even millionaires.

Ah, nice to imagine, isn't it? Still with me?

The books are wasted potential. Every new thing coming in helps to show how the magical world is as flawed and xenophobic as regular, mundane version of it. Slavery, segregation by "blood purity", racial segregation, magic supremacy and cishet white male magic supremacy, too.

And then a downtrotten guy shows up. He is a hero, has loads of cash and a fame beyond his age. You would think the dude from the literal closet would CHANGE THE SYSTEM. To push along a new, better, more liberated, more equal world. Maybe even prevent the next bad guy from rising by removing the key aspects that made him rise to power, like slavery, the segregations, the supremacist ideas, and so on. Even if just pushing it in a way.

You would think the main character would fix the system. You know why?

Because every fantasy story, even if by just getting the just and wise king or queen on the throne, does that. The Lord of the Rings does not end by blowing up Sauron. It goes on, the world has to be changed to prevent a new, different Sauron. We saw glimpes on how anyone, even the purest heart, could go down that path.

So why can't this boy who lives in a closet? It is WASTED POTENTIAL. Imagine the stories you can tell! Now that you got a better world coming, would the old jerks not hate it? Would some change? What new issues arise? It is a fantasy, so you can do whatever you want - and then go the Man in Black route and have the magical slowly dripped into the mundane. Or, again, as with the (comic book) Men in Black, we had shown how even the utopian parts get issues not seen before, all based on xenophobia, human folly, etc.

You make a status quo that sucks, and then GO AND CHANGE IT. The big bad in a bad system is not the guy with the biggest gun, but the system that fails.

Oh, sure, you can make a story about the cyclical nature of revolutions - and yes, a bloodless revolution is the best for the little people, but in fiction, we may have the bad guys represent issues. So, you can make a story where a revolution leads to another in the next cycle. But...

You have to change the bad systems. Say that some things may change. Even if it is just a new school being put forward in the end, with empathy, and two characters talking about how the world will change if they keep going on... You have to change. The utopian status quo is the only one what the audience may like to be returned to.

When Bilbo comes back to the Shire, it is almost the same, but Bilbo himself changed. It was a bit for the better, but not that much that new stories could not be told... and what he thought as the status quo is shown to have changed. He became more artistic. He wrote a book, inspired by his "miserable adventure"... and then, later, Tolkien slipped in the ring from the sequel. It was not in the original draft! The ending did not changed, but we had a plot hook.

Though, Tolkien already had given us all the potential in the story. He hinted at a bigger world.

So imagine Miku, writing a thing but then she does not develop the things. The potential goes wasted, and when it returns, it has this "stop nagging me, here, a stupid retcon for your stupid questions" thing. Potential squandered! Wasted! No wonder the fans would go to write their own, for better or worse.

I am so happy Hatsune Miku is a talented writer and not some woman slipping into right-wing hatred, akin to some dude who loves gold and the aesthetics of power, and having none of it in his tiny hands or something. That would be-

Oh. I just realised the intro to this rant. Well, now that the train is deralied, what is my point?

If you write a story with systemic issues, you should at least attempt to resolve some of them. You got slavery? Have the main character and their friends free slaves and ban slavery when they get the power to do so.

You got a sort of space cyborg wizard nazi movement? Your character has the potential to punch them in the face, alongside B. J. Blazkowicz and Captain America, WHILE ALSO breaking the systems the space cyborg wizard nazies rely on. In fact, it should be what you do, because while your heroes give the cool action scenes, they also show their intelligence and empathy by PREVENTING new space cyborg wizard nazies coming into existence and fixing the inequalities in the world.

Sure, it is not as cool to see Mr. Potter to write a new constitution about equal rights than seeing him in a wizard duel with wizard nazies, but you can have both. This is fantasy!

You can get the audience to believe that a man can fly, that a single guy can save the world by throwing a ring into a volcano, or that a boy living in a closet is a chosen one - letting them change the world for the better is not a stretch, it is catharsis! That is where the happy ending happens.

#rant #writing #personal rant

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minnesota-fats · 1 year

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I was rereading a Dead Marvel x Danny Phantom crossover ( last updated in 2014, RIP ) called Marvel Phantom by Slayer Anderson, and here is the Summary.

So...the Fentons punch a hole through to the afterlife in their basement, and develop unparalleled hover technology and...they're crackpots?

In that fic, that gets played seriously because they showed their tech and a brief glimpse of the Ghost Zone to the News for an interview on their studies and everyone on the planet, from Companies to the Military, wants their tech.

Like they made a physic cancelers shd gravity inverters for their hover machines to study ghosts, not knowing that what they did went beyond groundbreaking and make every technology look like it came from the stone age.

That they are actually geniuses that do genius things despite being 'kooky.'

And you know what, that author is right. Are there any other stories out there where someone stops and says 'You built a what in your basement that did what?!

Sure, Amity is Amity which deals with weird supernatural shit, so they get a pass on not actually stopping and thinking that, but what's everyone else excuse?

Suddenly imagine everyone knows about FentonTech and what they can do.

Remember the Fenton Crammer that can shrink humans and inanimate objects? And if a ghost gets shrunk, their powers get weaker? That can be very useful to transport stuff that would had taken time and money.

Or how they have a what's basically a futuristic tank for a RV that has a lot of space?

Or that they have an Emergency Ops Center on their home that can turn into a hover vehicle.

All of the anti-ghost weapons.

I can go on and on, but things can get funny/ hairy real fast.

Wayne Ent, Lex Corp, Cadmus, every military will want a generous piece of that Fenton Pie, with the Fentons going, what's the big deal? We only made this for ghosts and shit. Whatever happened because of that was a happy accident.

Also imagine Lex Luthor about to pop a blood vessel, and holding himself back from throttling Jack during a talk .

Lex: 'Let me get this straight. You built a pocket-sized mini nuclear reactor that can power the US for six generations at full capacity and still have the juice to power an extra two, and instead of using that to for the betterment of mankind and showing those aliens ( cough Superman cough ) their place, you use it to power a pastry machine homemade peanut butter FUDGE!?'

Jack: Gourmet peanut butter fudge! :D it even makes pies and cookies. That nice Superhero with that A on his chest sure loved the Apple Pie it made!

Luthor: *collaspes and start to foam at the mouth out of rage, shock and disbelief*

Vlad that was sitting at a corner: *Sniff*. 'Welcome to my world.'

Bro this is HILARIOUS!!!!

This is the type of chaos I LIVE FOR!

I know little to nothing of Alex Luther other than the fact that he is a xenophobe…. And that he got cancer from being a xenophobe. (Ha! that’s how it should be for racists and such(jk cancer is actually really bad and not a joke))

He would just be MAD that these social idiots would have been able to go all of this with NO FUNDING!

Like seriously where did they get the money to do this crap????

Also Vlad crying in the corner is so funny to me, the grown ass man being a pouty bitch cuz he can’t have a woman he simpped for for 20 plus years!

Wish I could add more but I can’t possibly think of what else to add other than this.

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harryswinks · 1 year

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The 'tourist' complainers are the reason i hate when prem fans go on about supporting your local like bro what the fuck do you know. And then they have a go at 'small clubs' as well it's so hypocritical. If everybody should support their local then obviously a club like Bournemouth aren't going to have as many fans - the population of Bournemouth is smaller than the borough of Haringey. It's just such a weird fixation that falls apart the moment you think about it for a minute. Like you said, there are season ticket holders who don't sing. There are 'tourists' who will be just as passionate as season ticket holders. Nevermind the fact that people move and some people don't have a football background. I support my local club but when i first went to games i didn't know all the songs or anything because nobody in my family regularly goes to games. And the way people have a go at people for not standing up as well makes me very uncomfortable as a disabled person, it takes me about five minutes to stand up and i can't stand for very long at all. I see people "calling out" people for being "tourists" and it's like you have no idea anything about this person. Sorry i went off a bit there it just really pisses me off, particularly as a fan of a lower league club because they always pretend to care about us and they really don't give a fuck.

dont apologise!! i dont think some of these people realise its a huge privilege to be able to have season ticket - and not even just living somewhat locally, money too!! i only started being able to afford to go to matches since about 2018 so does that mean im not a real fan because eve not had a season ticket since i was a kid? does that mean someone who cant afford to go to matches isnt a real fan? of course not!! and foreign fans are still fans and if they can make the trip over here then they should be welcomed!! that takes dedication!! any fan whose paid to come and watch spurs (esepcially this season lol) should be welcomed, i really dont understand being a dick about it. we are part of the biggest league in the world, of course you're going to have fans coming to matches who arent season ticket holders and who are from abroad. these fans cant talk about wanting us to act like a big club when they'd rather we were back in a 30k stadium instead of our very nice 60k stadium that is just not ever going to work. aside from obviously sometimes xenophobic/racist undertones to what they're saying sometimes i think these people just HAVE to have something to moan about. and around me at least its season ticket holders who were booing emerson, and the ones who kept booing at half time not long ago. thats being a shit fan at matches, not someone who might not know every chant going

once saw someone getting mocked on twitter for eating pizza at the game - the stadium sells pizza (which is quite nice for the record) why shouldn't someone eat it in their seat if they didnt have time before the match/at half time?? like what is the problem?? there isnt one it absolutely does not affect anyone else at all. thankfully the person who was taking the piss got the shit ripped out of them for being dickhead

and with the standing if i've paid for a seat im fucking sitting in it??cant be judging people for not standing you have no idea what their circumstances are!!

oh no prem fans in general absolutely do not care about anything other the premier league!!

#answered #anonymous

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castle-dominion · 10 months

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c2x13 condensed post

Ok cuz I’m sure that’s how it works. Blood dripping from the ceiling? Not noticing it in your paint? not getting a gradual increase in the colour of your paint when the blood was slowly dripping in?

I own a boat! XD XD XD XD Johnny Vong this is hilarious & I love it but ryan is so dumb to fall for it like bro my dude girl come on (also apparently ryan's warm milk with honey really does help him sleep)

Ryan come on don’t fall for it

F yeah! As a Métis fiddler, uh 100/10 to celtic fiddlers. You deserve the world. I know that we have a lot of french/french canadian in us, but dang the scots & irish had the right idea & I’m so glad we took after them too.

As a Métis folk catholic, 10/10 to irish catholics. You deserve the world.

Yayyyyy Gil Mazzaro again!

Poor Lanie, she has to be the one to find out

Ryan seriously at work?

Wow that’s lowkey xenophobic but I’m glad he included texas

I’m honestly kind of sad it was sexy beckett. Ryan totally should have been the one to cut it open & give it a taste, he’s the ex-narcotics detective.

Ok walking on glass? Yes you want to be slow. Walking on coals? You want to run.

KR: & which boxes contain the secret path to financial independence. He says, while stroking the CD case GIRL WHAT YOU CAN’T BE THAT GULLIBLE THIS IS CULT STUFF BRO DON’T EVEN LOOK AT YOUR SHOES ARE YOU INSANE THIS MAN HAS YOU HYPNOTIZED LIKE MY DUDE YOU ARE ON A MURDER INVESTIGATION this is the best B plot ever. At least Esposito threatens to pepper spray him SHUT UP SHUT UP you’re just embarrassing yourself more, my dude, of course it is a scam, you literally already know it is a front for a drug smuggling company

I love Roy Montgomery.

I decided to text my dad because of this episode

I mean like yeah at least this gang is… preventing drug addiction? (& then in future episodes we have smth up with detective slaughter in like what s4? & then we have fenton oconnell in s5, & while finn rourke's gang prevents drug addiction bobby s's gang causes it)

Dick coonan. He’s surprisingly diplomatic

That’s a lot of dough

Esposito’s got a nice jacket tbh! also a nice gun & like they pushed down an old man so ew but still: fashionable

Captain just shoot the guy without revealing your position to like maim him or smth. Btw that’s a lot of blood, it takes time to get out. Like bro??? What is even going on?

At least she used the back of her hand to push her hair out of her face rather than her bloody hands.

Ok so it took me a bit less time to watch this episode, only an hour & 15 minutes. Last ep it took about 90 mins. Of course during both episodes I took a break, once to read smth another time to watch a video my dad sent me

#castle 2x13 #castle 2x13 spoilers #rathborne/Dick Coonan #castle s2 spoilers #castle 2x13 quote #plot heavy #sucker punch #the dick coonan episode #the irish mobster episode

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shit-talk-turner · 2 years

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they focus a lot on Louise if it's not your case that's amazing. and this has nothing to do with xenophobia you are victimizing yourself.//// bro fuck off with this “I’m older fan so I’m superior” attitude. If they been fan since last month still are in the same level as you or me. Btw you also are here in this page where most of time we talk about Louise and you’re trying to put turkey fans in a box as the crazy ones whose Alex’s doesn’t like because they are intense or comments jn Louise’s post?! Seriously! Or you gonna say only have turkey fan here talking about Louise. You’re just been exactly like Louise. Btw again I’m also a old fan and I’m not from turkey. And yet it still xenophobic

We’re going to stop this fight here, okay? Everyone cool down and regroup

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rainbowsky · 3 years

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I don't know how the situation of queer people is in like in China because I'm not from there but if it's anything like it's in India (where I'm from), there is no way ggdd will ever be "outed". Because, for the general public here, it's like either you're straight or you're straight. There's no other option. Straight is not just the default sexuality, it's the only sexuality in the eyes of the general public. There is not a single non-straight (or out, rather) Indian celebrity that I (1/2)

can think of. This is not to say that India doesn't have a queer community, because it does, it definitely does, and a very huge one at that but they're all closed circles. In the public eyes, there's no sexuality apart from heterosexuality. You can be seen hugging and holding hands with someone of the same sex and living with them for the past 10 years, going on vacations with them, and you will still be branded as "Aww bros. This is what true friendship looks like. Truly brothers"(2/3)

At no circumstance, will the general public ever believe any rumors that might circulate about you and your bro because "what deranged bullshit are you saying?? imagine giving such vile connotations to a pure brotherhood?". As for my personal story.... I'm not straight. I know I'm not. But I will never come out because unless you're willing to live a life ostracized in society and probably disowned by family, there is literally no other option. And that's the sad sad truth (3/3)

I’m really sad to hear that, Anon. It pretty much confirms everything I’ve heard about the situation in India. The world still has so far to go, and it’s heartbreaking to hear how things are in some of the most difficult regions.

It’s hard for me to fully imagine what it’s like because I’m fortunate enough to be in Canada, but when I try to get a sense of it I just think back to when I was young and growing up a gay atheist in a really backward small town, in a really conservative xenophobic evangelical Christian family. There definitely was a sense that homosexuality - and even atheism - ‘doesn’t exist in our world’. And insofar as it does exist - “You know you hear things sometimes” - those people are ‘bad people’. They are the ‘Other’. They are ‘dangerous’.

To me, the hate isn’t even the worst part of living in homophobic regions. The worst part is all the lies we are taught about who we are, what we are, what we represent, what we deserve. It’s so psychologically destructive. I really hope that you’ve been able to find some support and community online and hopefully IRL among your closest people. It’s hard. I feel for you.

People often talk about leaving as a solution, not fully taking into account just how hard that can be. I know firsthand that there are few things in this life more painful than losing everyone you love most, and going through life without family. It’s incredibly difficult and often a matter of trading one horrible situation for another. No matter how much our families hurt us or turn against us, they are still our families. I loved my family despite all the ways they made my life hell.

Time seems to be the best and most reliable factor in making change, but it takes a long time for cultures to change, and very often it’s just - as horrible as it sounds - a matter of waiting for the worst generations to die off and be replaced by more progressive generations.

It’s difficult thinking about GG and DD, and people like you, Anon, having to wait it out and hope for the best. It makes my heart ache. I hope that process can be expedited in some way, although I have no idea how.

I wish I had some helpful wisdom for you, because you deserve all the love and acceptance and freedom to be who you are and live your truth. I just hope you are safe and able to find at least some support. 💛

#lgbtpride #i'll take homophobia for 800 alex!#ggdd in the public eye #ask

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poxar · 3 years

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Just read some manifesto about how to write Latino characters.

The idiot kept talking about how they don’t speak Spanish (often) so because of that Latinos must also not speak Spanish that often…

The leap of logic and self-indulgence. Like admit it bro you just don’t speak Spanish lmao 😂. That’s perfectly fine. Not every Latino has to be Hispanic as in Spanish speaking some of us speak French or Chinese or Arabic or Portuguese but are still Latino it’s okay.

But living within a Hispanic community means that people within that community only speak Spanish or speak it idk 85% of the time?

It’s how immigration works. Go to any Korea town, Chinatown, Russian town, the people in those ethnic groups tend to speak in their native tongues and have businesses that cater to their people within their respective communities in their languages. It’s not even that hard to find in the real world.

Also code switching is a thing all immigrants do. African Americans do it when they slip into AAVE. Immigrants do it when they slip into their native tongues and they still switch into other versions when they speak with their relatives vs other members of their communities. Like the way I speak to my brothers and sisters for example is not the same way I would address my elders or church members or something like that just like co-workers. We have a lot of things in common. And I think that’s wonderful tbh 🥰

Like the case for most immigrant kids is like they go to school and try their best to assimilate because that’s what their parents tell them to do and fuck were bullied OD so society tells us to assimilate or perish tbh. So we do we just abandon our culture when we leave the house. But the minute we enter the house we switch back to the old ways and we HAVE TO speak in our native languages because that’s what our parents/grandparents speak in and understand. That’s literally it. You just learned immigration assimilation and integration 101 congrats 🍾🎉🎊.

OP didn’t even mention immigration at all… but somehow their Latinx???? 😭like okay imma have to take your card away sis. I’m not saying everyone is fresh off the boat like my green card ass having parents. I know some people who aren’t… and honestly fuck them they straight up turn into Republicans which is like the most fucked up shit. Not saying all but I don’t like it! The assimilation and integration went too fucking hard.

It’s crazy to me how some people who really live in a god damn bubble are given a fucking platform to be talking about shit they’re clearly not even apart of. I saw the post and I’m not linking to it because honestly it doesn’t need anymore notes. It has like 10k from both white and black people who don’t know wtf they’re talking about. It’s annoying as fuck. -_-

Like for the love of god, just ask a fucking Hispanic person what it was like to live. Like if you want to create an authentic story or character. Just ask someone from the community and ask them about their life. People love sharing stories, and now you have something that connects you to someone and to a whole community.

Instead of reading bullet points from some antisocial loser who probably doesn’t even leave their fucking room and their social interactions with other people within their community stops at the drive-thru window at their local Wendy’s. I can smell their dumbass little privilege.

Being the daughter of immigrants and being from the Bronx and also living in NYC forces me to be diverse. I can’t be ignorant about socializing unless I want to be a complete jackass. Like for real. If you’re closed off and xenophobic in New York it’s by choice… it’s definitely a reality for some people but not for me and I’m glad and blessed for that. 😩

And tbh OPs takes were too generalized and basic. Every Hispanic/latino whatever you wanna call us idc at this point is attached to our specific culture.

This mf didn’t seem to have one ☝️ it was just…

We don’t all speak Spanish and we don’t all eat tacos and burritos…. And I’m like…… okay first of all burritos are Tex-mex like technically they’re AMERICAN you ask any Mexican that and that’s what they will tell you. It’s not a Mexican dish but something created here like pizza or whatever.

Tejanos and Mexicans who lived in Texas and Arizona and what not, before the whiteys came and just manifest destinied that shit, (chicanos) had their own way of cooking that has changed over the years due to war, colonialism, and just good ol’ evolution. A lot of people forget that Mexico owned that area and people been living there and had been for generations. There’s a lot of history that’s been kind of stomped out, appropriated, and then white washed and then abandoned. It’s not really given the respect it truly deserves and it’s sad. I’m sorry guys that I don’t have any sources on this matter but I do know of a lovely book.

La Frontera/Borderlands: The New Mestiza

I think it’s a fantastic read and a great way to dust off your Spanish speaking skills and learn what being American means to some people. Chicanos are what I’m referring to when I’m talking about the Mexicans who were annexed after the Alamo and the Spanish war America had with Mexico. It’s not a perfect term tbh but it’s the best I can do lol.

God I’m so fucking hungry

I SMELL A RAT 🐀

Lmao 😂

It’s pathetic lmao. I hate you and you’re dumb lol. Not you reading this, the person who made that awful post about how to write a Latino that just boiled down to just slap a Latino title and don’t bother making them Hispanic (which means Spanish speaking) because why would that add anything to their culture or sense of identity lmao 🤣 musty ass bitch.

I’m not even Mexican bro and I felt the need the need to step in because you’re not just going to disrespect my friends like that.

I get mad because I had a lot of friends who were illegal, who were scared of being deported, of fucking graduating high school or even applying for college and outing their family.

Like these are real fucking people. They pay taxes, they laugh and create and dance and live along side us. I wish them health, wealth and safety tbh because a lot of people don’t. And it’s so heartbreaking to me because they’re culture is so gorgeous and worth paying attention to. It is literally right there. They have the connections to their ancestors. Like cmon now, everyone is always looking for something new. 😞

Oh and here’s a cooking channel! Fuck it why not!

Aquí estas doñita Ángela con sus dos hijas Brenda y Mary. Buen Provecho!

This lady OD cute and she make good ass food 🥰 she’s Mexican Mexican though not Chicano

youtube

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edengarden · 3 years

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Hiiii!!! I'd like to request a regular matchup pls 😌 (idk of I can request one or two shows at at time so if it's possible can you do for both bnha & haikyuu? If not then just haikyuu is fine with me)

Appearance: I'm fem, black, 5'1, slightly athletic & curvy-ish figure (lol), short? (mid-neck) hair, straight, dark brown eyes, size 9 shoe size (idek why I'm adding this lmao)

Personality stuff: infp-t, Hufflepuff, Taurus sun, scorpio moon, sanguine, chaotic good, ambivert, a BuzzFeed quiz told me I'm a Pinto bean (do what you will with that info jdskdj)

Positive traits/qualities:

I'm super enthusiastic!! I love hyping people up and being energetic in general! I'm always down to try new things and have fun! If anyone is not feeling appreciated I'm ready to make sure they know that they're a queen/king and they're amazing!!!

I'm optimistic! I like to look at the brighter side of things and I always try my best to find a silver lining in any situation! Positive thinking helps me get through tough spots in my life because there's always hope for something better in the future!!

I'm observant!! I usually like to sit quietly and observe my surroundings. Especially in a new environment. Irl I like to read people's body language to asses their mood so ik how to approach them lol. I also do little things like remembering what they (friends/family) like to order at restaurants or something they pointed out at random that they liked. (Idk if I'm making sense lol)

Negative traits/flaws:

I'm annoying. Sometimes I just like being a little shit and cause mischief (being the youngest child does that to a person) but I think sometimes I'm too enthusiastic/energetic that it can be seen as obnoxious/annoying so I usually try and tone it down so I don't bother people...

I'm argumentative. When I have something to say I have to speak up. I try not to step on any toes but I can't help but argue with someone when our views on something clash. I like hearing different sides of debates though so I always give others a chance to talk. I don't go picking fights but if I feel like my opinion is being disregarded/not heard I will argue until it's known!!

I'm forgetful. Sure I'll remember random stuff like 'what my friend said in that one coffee shop last year' but important things like appointments? Birthdays? Assignment due dates? Idk her 😭 I try my best to write anything important down cause my memory is a selective sieve and it'll keep the most useless/random shit.

Hobbies: I love: Reading, writing, listening to music, learning languages, playing saxophone (I'm still learning tho lol), swimming, watching anime and cooking!

Music taste: any type of rock (punk rock, grunge, j-rock, metal), pop, kpop, RnB, jazz, dubstep, lofi hip hop, rap, bangers from: Elvis, the beach boys, Khalid, Ateez, Kendrick Lamar, p!atd, mcr, fallout boy, Nirvana, BTS, mxmtoon, Marianas trench, twenty one pilots, stray kids, Jay Park, crush, Dreamcatcher, Skrillex, MJ, troye sivan etc

Traits I look for: idk kind, funny/fun, loving/lovable, loyal (idk I ain't picky)

Traits I don't like: (nobody's perfect, just don't be a racist, xenophobic, sexist asshole lol)

Fun facts:

I love playing PC games! Might purchase a gaming pc in the future!

I have four piercings! Just my lobes and an industrial atm but I'm definitely gonna get more done!!

I might get some tattoos too one day :D

I wanna learn how to ride a bike (motorcycle)!!

My love language is touch! I live for hand holding, cuddling, hugging, tickle fights and more!! 🥺

I love learning new stuff and rn I'm learning how to draw, paint, play music on sax, a new language and new recipes! :3

I hope that's enough!! Tell me if you need more! Pls take ur time and stay safe!! Hope you are having an amazing day/night!!!! 💙✨

AAH I’M A SAX PLAYER TOO!!!! I love sax, I love sax, I love jazz?? I love growl notes. Sax is amazing, bless sax. Sax quartets are so fun

Also! I only accept one fandom and one type of matchup per ask, but if you want to get a bnha one as well, you can always send your description through again!! (I like doing it this way bc I feel like it’s fair for everyone?? Also if I lose my progress I don’t have as much lost)

Also WOW do you remind me of my self (we’re both Taurus suns hahahah)!! I have to note everything down in my calendar and reminders because I forget everything that’s not necessary for a grade. It’s insane!!

By the way your request was so well done?? So organized?? Wow, kudos to you bro!! I love it

I’d match you up with... GOSHIKI!!

Omg when I saw your qualities and flaws I was like I HAVE TO I HAVE TO I HAVE TOOOO

The way you fire that boy up is damn near DANGEROUS. But he loves you so much for it!! Oh my god you’re his daily dose of serotonin, oxytocin, endorphins, EVERYTHING. Goshiki can be hard on himself sometimes though, and he really needs someone who’s able to point out the good in a bad (or mediocre) situation. After a while, he’ll really try to have that kind of mindset for himself. In a way, you’re his idol. He admires you so much; you’re all he talks about, aside from his plans of becoming an ace. Also, you somehow know him better than he knows himself. You’ll point out his tiniest habits and he’s just like ??i do that?? Oh wow I DO do that—

He really really hopes you pick up the technique side of volleyball when you watch him play because he totally wants you to tell him what he can fix!! No, he’s not neglecting his coach it’s just that?? You’re there?? And he loves getting your feedback because it’s so validating. HE ALSO THINKS YOUR LOVE FOR LEARNING NEW THINGS IS SO COOL?? It rubs off on him, now he wants to know all about your hobbies and if he can like,, participate in them with you. He’s a bit competitive and as soon as you tell him you play sax he’s got his mind set on learning the saxophone solo from Money. Please help him, he’s not gonna be able to-

Overall?? You’re Goshiki’s Equal (yeah that’s how he thought of you before he realized he had a Crush), and he respects you and he loves you so much. The team tries to tease him for it but lo and behold; his eyes just light up and he could talk about you for HOURS. Tendou learned Not To Mention The One around Goshiki.

Songs!!!

- Money, Pink Floyd (Goshiki started listening to it religiously for the Solo. He didn’t even get discouraged and you’re surprised by that)

- Cradles, Sub Urban

- Burial (feat. Pusha T, Moody Good & TrollPhace), Yogi & Skrillex (buddy thinks this is the epitome of Hype)

- Blackout, David Bowie

#haikyuu matchups #haikyuu!!#matchup #goshiki tsutomu

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kyliwrites · 4 years

Text

the exit's the other way

ship: davekat (no quadrant/all quadrants; established relationship)

prompt: "you know what!? fuck you. i'm out of here."

"*name.*"

"WHAT?!"

"the exit's the other way."

setting: earth c (canon universe/post-canon, no epilogues)

Your name is Dave Strider, and you are just the absolute god damned best at riling loud, insufferable aliens up to the brink of delirious rage. Because the way their gray cheeks flush and their eyes darken is so perfectly entertaining, you take it upon yourself to annoy them into paradox space and back.

Karkat, for example. All it takes is the bare minimum of poking and prodding at his favorite romcom actor and SHABAM. Little guy's all fuming and everything; you can see the puffs of smoke coming out his ears and the attractive way his fangs slide out over his lips. He's glaring in that wide-eyed furious way of his, anger hot enough to brand you right on the asscheek like a motherfucking cow. Moo, bitch.

You hardly insulted him, but Karkat's like that: hypersensitive, petty, an asshole, totally adorable when he's mad. He's got his flaws (who doesn't?), but with you, he doesn't try so hard to cover them up. You love him all the more for that.

Presently, he's ranting about the flaws and inaccuracies of some human film you alchemized into existence for him, and he's been doing so for approximately four minutes and twenty-seven seconds. You haven't been paying much attention, if you're being honest, because you've been too busy mentally recounting everything else about those four minutes and twenty-seven seconds. Why? Narrative reasons, yo.

You tune in at the last second and catch his metaphorical hands instead of the hilariously unironic picking apart of whichever movie you picked for him (you can't even remember at this point; you've spent all three years since the game ended finding progressively shittier films, if only so you can experience the pleasure that is Karkat's ranting).

"-and are you even FUCKING listening, douchenozzle!?" Comes Karkat's infuriated, raspy interjection. It throws you bodily from your thoughts, and you blink from behind your shades in an effort to clear your head.

"Nah," you answer honestly once you've regained your bearing. "Shit got more boring than watching American football with the boys on a rainy Saturday night. Dude goes in for a tackle and skids across the field tragically. Eight jocks in a row go flying and it's like a god damn bowling alley up in this bitch. The boys start swearing like some motherfuckers, but you, a renowned Football Connoisseur, shake your head solemnly rather than go batshit insane over the slip-n-slide conga line like, you know, a normal person. Football people, bro. No humor. No sense of irony."

"I understood approximately FUCKALL OF THAT, asshole. Speak English or Alternian, thanks a whole fucking lot. What gog damn language was that!?" Karkat looks you up and down with a scrunched up expression, as if deciding where to maim you first. You straighten involuntarily underneath his gaze.

"...S'called Texan, m'dude."

He recoils melodramatically. "Texan!? Is that a joke or some bullshit? Some kind of dead language you somehow learned? Where the fuck is the TEXAN and who came up with a name that hideous and disgusting?"

"No, Karks," you wheeze. "Texas. The people from Texas are Texans."

"Why do I care about your overcomplicated alien linguistics!? Answer my question, Strider," he demands, crossing his arms. His nails, bitten down yet still sharp and threatening, dig into his sweater.

"I'm from Texas, dude. You know how there were, like, different dialects on y'all's murderplanet? English is kind of like that. Texans have huge accents and are famous for being racists, people from Jersey are famous for being the shittiest people, Alabamians marry their relatives, etcetera etcetera."

After a moment of thought, Karkat nods seriously and says, "That explains why you're such a xenophobe."

You choke. Of all the things you'd been expecting him to say, it definitely wasn't that. You reply eloquently:

"W-what!?"

"You heard me. You fucking space racist."

"Oh my jesus shit, rude," you protest vehemently. "I am not space racist." Not anymore, at least.

Karkat flashes a rare fanged grin at you, his eyebrows lifted, and you realize he's only joking. The smile is gone as soon as it came, one of those blink-and-you-miss-it gifts. "Space racist." He nudges you with one elbow. You nudge him back.

"Dude," you say, "don't make this a thing."

He pushes you forcefully, hard enough for you to have to grip the arm of the sofa you're sitting atop to remain seated, in response. Oh, it is on.

You tackle him and he lets out a paralyzed squawk when you roll off the couch and into the floor. He lands on his back with an "oof," and you pin him down by the shoulders. He bares his teeth, but the smile breaking out over his face ruins the effect.

"Get off me, asshat, I'll fucking kneecap you," he barks, still grinning like an idiot.

"You won't." You're grinning like an idiot, too, to be fair, except yours is more fond than shit-eating. Dave Strider, maximum sap. Whod've thunk.

He surges forward suddenly, without warning, and uses his legs to flip you onto your back; it knocks all the air out of you, but you manage a cackle and a "fuck you" anyway. He pins your arms above your head and sits on your chest.

"Say fucking uncle, Strider."

"That's not how that game works!" You wheeze. "You don't even know what an uncle is!" He smirks—the sight makes your heart flutter like the cat getting showered in affection meme. The thought distracts you and you briefly ponder making a Karkat version, but you aren't given the reins to think very long because he flicks your nose.

"Ow! Dickhead, that hurt—"

"Dickhead yourself! Your fucking bony ribs are digging into my ass!" He wrinkles his nose and shifts, trying to find a more comfortable way to sit.

"What ass?" You demand in jest, which is the worst thing someone pinned beneath the person they are making fun of could possibly say. He narrows his eyes and you manage a "shit wait no" before he snatches his hands away.

You've lived together for all of three years, four months, and seventeen days. He knows your weaknesses as well as he knows his own, your fears, your discomforts. He knows what you like, love, and hate. He knows when to push and when not to push. He gets you better than anyone, even your own psychoanalytic twin sister (you'll have to blame that one on the fact that she and her wife don't leave their house unless they're going to the alien procreation cave).

So, that's why he decides to tickle you. Because he knows you throw an absolute shitfit when it comes to being tickled.

You hunch your shoulders when his hands descend upon you and try to roll yourself into a tight, impenetrable ball to escape his fingers, but he's fucking relentless. He knows how sensitive you are; it's the perfect revenge.

In between your wheezing laughs, you can barely manage words, but you cough out a "dude," "bro," and "dudebro," then, finally, "Karkat," before he pauses, rasps, "You did this to yourself," and raises his hands threateningly again.

You blurt, "Uncle! I'll say uncle just don't do it please dude I have never done anything wrong ever you know this right? I—"

He leans forward, silencing you. "Take that bullshit you said first back, Strider, or your plea to your human familial figure is null."

"Fine! Fine, I take it back. Listen, bro. You definitely don't not have an ass. Like, in fact, that ass is so ripe I can't believe anyone would ever accuse you of not having one. That's so fucking disrespectful. How dare those blind motherfuckers? I'm waving my fists at them right now. I will singlehandedly smite all Karkat's assphobes, my man. I'll raise my assphobe smiting trident and pulverize all these thotass sons of bitches right here, right now. I'll do it, I will. I'm no coward. I'll protect that magnificent rear with everything I have, dude. Those glorious buns. The assnihilator—"

"Shut the fuck up oh my gog I can't believe I fucking brought this upon myself." Karkat rolls off of you and clutches said glorious buns. Apparently your ribs really did hurt his ass. Huh.

"You did bring it upon yourself," you agree. And then, because you still aren't done pushing his buttons and want to be an insufferable piece of shit, "So, you didn't say what you thought of the movie."

He opens his mouth, clamps it shut hard enough for his teeth to clank together, repeats the motion a couple of times. "I—Dave—You fucking—No. You know what? Fuck you. I'm out of here."

You burst into the horrid laughter of a hyena when he scrambles to his feet in one furious motion; he's back to grumpy scowling and cussing you out in the amount of time it takes for the underpaid McDonald's employee working the back of the store to flip a shitty one hundred percent not-beef burger patty.

He stomps heavily away—in the direction of the kitchen, you note, which only makes you cackle harder when you realize he didn't do it on purpose.

"Oh my fucking jesus god. Karkat!"

"WHAT!?" He yells without facing you.

"The exit's the other way."

He comes to an abrupt halt, slowly turns around, and begins marching back, in the right direction this time.

You're too busy flailing on the couch (you can't even remember pulling yourself back onto it) to give a shit when he throws himself down beside you. You do, however, give tons of shits when he pulls you into a very exasperated smooch that simply screams "shut the FUCK up you absolute godless heathen of a space monkey."

You are not opposed to "shut the FUCK up you absolute godless heathen of a space monkey" smooches.

He draws back and rolls his eyes. "Are you done yet, bulgemuncher?"

You are, as established many times, an insufferable piece of shit, so you say, "Dunno. Do I get to kiss you again?"

"Not with that attitude you don't."

You kiss him anyway, because god dammit he's your boyfriend and you demand kissing rights. He doesn't protest; instead, he wraps his arms around your neck and relaxes, just a little.

You could stay in his arms forever, you think.

#davekat #dave strider #karkat vantas #fluff #no epilogues #homestuck #fic

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keelywolfe · 5 years

Text

FIC: The Elephant in the Room ch.3 (baon)

Summary: Jeff has started working at the Embassy. He’s got a new job, a new car, and a new place to live. Now if only the rest of his life could fall into order, that’d be great. Any time now…any time at all…

Tags: Spicyhoney, Kustard, Established Relationships, Prejudice Against Monsters, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Mentions of Past Suicidal Thoughts, Mental Health Issues, Friendship

Notes: Red, you little cryptid, why can’t you ever let anything be easy? Then again, if Jeff was hoping for things to be straightforward, he picked the wrong brother.

Part of the ‘by any other name’ series.

~~*~~

Read it on AO3

Read it here!

~~*~~

It was worth the long sit-down in the kid’s office, twiddling his thumbs in the dark as Red waited for the door to open. Worth it for that one moment to see Andy have to bite back a scream when he saw Red at his desk. Give the kid credit though, he didn’t piss himself, which had been known to happen. That was always funny as shit, but kinda annoying, because then Red had to wait around for whoever to change their pants. He was busy, for fuck’s sake, and there were plenty of other places he needed to lurk. Tell the truth, he’d been a little surprised to hear the kid was looking for him. Surprised and frankly intrigued. Andy’d only been working at the Embassy for a week, how much trouble could he have stumbled across already? And it was definitely trouble, no two shakes about it. No one came looking for Red because they wanted to share a kit kat, such a fucking pity. Jeff was still standing in the doorway, doorknob in hand, staring at Red like maybe he was expecting a pit to hell to open up beneath him and swallow him back down. Could happen someday, Red supposed, but today was not that day and he was gettin’ bored of waiting. “you can come in,” Red said magnanimously, gesturing him inside. “whatever diseases i got don’t transfer.” His grin widened as Jeff sat in the visitor’s chair rather than drop-kicking him out of the desk like his bro would’ve. Nervously little twerp, wasn’t he. But Red wasn’t much fooled by that; he’d seen Andy boy step up for the people he cared about, more than once. Kid had a soft soul, for sure, but a good one. Like Papyrus. Like Blue. This world could use a coupla those and it was up to souls like Red’s to keep the world from fucking them over. One more dinky scar on his was nothin’, but if Red had his way, Jeff’s was never gonna need so much as a band-aid.

Fucking liabilities. “Hi, um, it’s just,” Jeff stammered a bit and Red only looked at him, let him wriggle a little longer on the hook. He kept his approval under wraps when Jeff took a few breaths, calming himself, and said, “Earlier today, Stretch and I were downtown.” “uh huh,” Red slouched back in the chair, let his eye lights roll back. Looked like he was reading a teleprompter off the ceiling, but the truth was, Red kept all his info in the safest place Above or Below ground, all filed away neat and tidy in his own skull. “classic books, owned by thomas meyer, immigrated in 1965 with his folks. his pop owned the bookstore and thomas took it over a while back. does okay, the rare book gig helps keep him afloat. did even better when monsters popped up, they love books and ain’t so tied to amazon.” “What?” Jeff blinked at him in a mixture of surprise and awe, “I didn’t know any of that.” He looked a little too damn impressed by a little googling and a lot of patience, and fuck if this kid didn’t pick some bad role models. Shit on a shingle, if Red had a windowless van, Jeff would probably be climbing on in it hoping for some free damn ice cream, no self-preservation at all. His bro sure knew how to pick a liability, this kid was something else. “i know plenty,” Red tapped his gold tooth with one sharp-tipped finger. “so what about it? gimmie some news i can’t get from the paper.” “Well, it’s just that Thomas hired someone to replace me and he’s very…uncomfortable around Monsters.” Jeff was leaning forward, bracing his hands on the desk and probably didn’t even realize it. He looked like the lead detective in an eighties movie as he asked, “Why would someone who doesn’t like Monsters want to work somewhere that is friendly to them? Thomas even has one of those ‘Monsters Welcome’ stickers on his front door.” Wellie well well, now this was interesting. Course, Red already knew what the kid was talking about. Steven Baker, recent graduate of Ebott University. Garden-variety xenophobe, didn’t have any special plans scuttled away on his laptop or some raggedy notebook plastered with MAG stickers. He just needed a job and chose poorly, was all. Some people didn't adjust to Monsters too well and that was fine; Red pretty much didn't want those fuckers around anyway and so long as they stuck to the other side of town, wasn’t much his concern. But the ‘book haus’ reject, eh, that was all dull shit; Red had a lockdown on that info three days ago before that little fucker ever stepped behind the register. What was interestin’ him now was Andy. Here the kid was, bubbling with suspicions like a junior detective, and who did he Scooby Doo to? Not Edge, not Stretch, not even his boytoy. No, he brought that info right to Red, didn’t he, like a cat with a dead bird, eager to show off his prize. Yeah, Red was liking this. Aloud, Red said, “i know all about steve, did a background check when tommy boy hired him. we monitor all the businesses that have the official stickers.” “Oh,” Jeff slumped back into his chair and Red couldn’t help but be amused. Kid looked like he’d unmasked the bad guy and found that it was Old Man Jenkins again. He didn’t stay down though, sat up straight again and asked, “You monitor all the businesses? Why?” Curiosity, good, and even if Andy ain’t exactly ready to share friendship bracelets with Red, he wasn’t letting his nervousness keep him from asking. Red grudgingly pulled his estimation of the kid up another notch. “two reasons.” Red held up two bony fingers then folded one down. “one, to make sure they aren’t getting harassed and feel they need to take it down. monster-friendly business won’t stay that way if they’re afraid to go to their cars at night.” He folded down the second finger. “and two, to make sure they mean it. ‘bout the last thing i ever want to happen is some monster and their kiddies heading into a place expecting a warm welcome and instead leaving in a paper bag.” Jeff nodded slowly, cringing a little at the Red’s description. “Makes sense. I should’ve known you were already on it, guess I was being paranoid.” “no such thing,” Red countered. And wasn’t that a swig of sugar-syrup, the kid had faith in him. "you were right, it is off. that’s good instincts, kid. we’ll be keeping tabs on stevie, don’t you worry, make sure he stays on the right side of the line. you, now, you come tell me anytime you see something or someone who seems off, yeah? anytime. thinking you’re overreacting is how people get hurt, and some people in our company can’t take much of a hit, you get me?” “Yeah, I do,” Jeff said determinedly. Andy had some spine to him in there beneath all the meat. That was the fella who’d decked a stranger on the bus for harassing a Monster, yep. The door opening made him tense, but it was only Antwan, peering in through the crack. He pushed the door open further and stepped inside, “Hey, security said you were here.” Watching the kid light up when he caught sight of Antwan was gag-worthy, but Red managed to choke it down. Being around his bro, the honey bun, and their fucking PDA had helped him build up a tolerance. “Hi, yeah,” Jeff said, “Red and I were talking.” “yep," Red agreed. He wagged his foot lazily where it was propped on the desk. "we’re about done now. thanks for stopping by, sweetheart. see you around.” “Okay,” Jeff said easily, like this wasn’t his office, heh. Kid was a little too easy-going, but that could be fixed with a judicious amount of assholery. Or maybe he was still too distracted by his boytoy, to care because he was all hopeful eyes and sweet-talk when he asked Antwan, “See you tonight?” “Yeah, I’ll meet you at Blue’s,” Antwan said, distractedly. He was pretty busy trying to glare a hole into Red, not an uncommon reaction but not one he was used to from Antwan. His drinking buddy about had steam coming out of his ears and didn’t notice that Jeff’s smile faltered, fading out as he mumbled an agreement and left. Curiouser and curiouser, as some brat once said. “What the fuck are you up to?” Antwan asked bluntly, the second the door swung shut. “dunno what you mean,” Red went through his mental list of annoying vocal tones and went with breezy on this one, but truth was, he really didn’t. And he didn’t like that, not one fucking bit, he liked a clear idear of what was going on around him at all times, and if Antwan had a bug up his ass, Red wanted to know why it crawled up there and what kinda nest it was making. From Antwan’s glare, that bug was pretty far up there. “I mean, why are you calling my boyfriend pet names?” To have that piece of puzzle snap in so easily, Red almost busted out laughing. That was what had Antwan’s panties in a wad? “eh, i do that with everyone,” Red said lazily. He licked his teeth deliberately, running his tongue over each and every point as he enjoyed the rising fury in Antwan’s eyes. “aww, honey, what makes you think i’m interested in your personal meat bag?” “The knowledge that you fucked your way through Europe the last time you went traveling with the diplomats?” Antwan snapped. “I heard plenty about that!" “maybe i had some fun,” Red allowed, and gave him a wolfish grin. Unless Antwan was chatting it up with Sans, he hadn’t even heard the half of it. “dunno, i don’t see your name on andy boy. not a ring or maybe a pretty little collar. gotta say, that might be a good look for him—“ “Stop,” Antwan said, through gritted teeth. Pretty impressive the way wrenched himself back, all that hot anger dropping down the thermometer to icy calm. “Your brother is my best friend, he wouldn’t like it if we killed each other.” Red snorted. This was fun and all, but a slap upside the head with a little realism was probably due. “cute that you think there is any ‘other’ about it. dunno, doesn’t sound like you trust your boy.” “What?” Antwan looked pretty taken aback by that, which was a fine, fine thing. Cause if there was a chance this entertaining lil’ tantrum was about Antwan thinking Jeff was trying to get a late afternoon bone-on, he and Antwan were about to talk real close up, make no mistake about that. Jeff wasn't a cheat, Red had a little file tucked away in the back of his head with plenty of data proving that.

Antwan didn't seem to notice, he only snapped out, "This isn’t about him, it’s about you. I know you too damn well. Leave him alone.” Well, this a slice of something different. He’d never much had anyone worried he was gonna seduce their honey away. Refreshing change, that. Sans was gonna laugh his ass off. “not much of a threat there.” Antwan’s smile was coldly humorless, whew, bet that went over real well in court, probably had a more’n few defendants pissing themselves. “No threats. I know better than to give you advance warning.” “better," Red let his grin widen, licked his teeth again deliberately, "could always make it a threesome.” Now that was a hell of a look. That was fifty shades of no, such a shame. Antwan only sputtered out, “I…what? No!” "pity," Red sighed. He kicked off of the desk and stood, groaning as he stretched with bone-popping force. "cool your jets, i ain’t trying anything with your boy, he had a security issue was all. ask him, he’ll tell ya. now that we've established that i’m not trying to poach, hit bricks.” Antwan only stared at him, visibly fuming, oh, yeah, he was plenty pissed, looked like he was trying to chew off his damn tongue. But Red was done playing nicey-nice for the day and it looked like Antwan was keeping cosplay as the fool aside for Andy. He turned on his heel, ready to storm back out the way he came and it was probably gonna lose him his drinking buddy, at least for a while, but Red couldn't help adding, sing-song sweet, "not trying yet, anyway." The door slamming told Red everything he needed to know about that. Red shook his head, started to pull out a cigar. He'd wait to light it when he got outside, no reason to stink up the kid's office, especially without his bro here to bitch and moan about it. Oh yeah, those two were meant to be. Just like the boss and Stretch, it was almost like a fucking aura around 'em, and Red didn't do Judgements anymore, but he'd never given up Seeing. He was never one to let a gift go to waste and he'd known fucking ages before his bro that he was meant to be with the honey bun. And just like those idiots, these two might need a little nudge in the right direction. That was fine. Red was pretty good when push came to shove.

~~*~~

tbc

#spicyhoney #papcest #keelywolfe #underfell #underswap #underfell papyrus #underswap papyrus #by any other name

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rhythmic-idealist · 5 years

Text

I just want to point out that Jane Crocker becoming a xenophobic fascist would’ve been maybe even narratively worth something if what you did was build a character who, innocently-seeming enough, attracted a bunch of people who believe the beginnings of white supremacy/etc to relate to and feel themselves through.

Like, the same bait and switch you did with Bro Strider about how “oh by the way guess what it was never real-world-disconnected webcomic jokes we don’t need to address, it was actually just abuse” but with a more personal angle. That could’ve done something.

Instead, though, the only people you invited to identify with Jane were sixteen year old girls who mess up their relationships and let idealized pictures of boys they don’t really know well enough in their heads ruin things for themselves and their friends (who, clarification edit, can also have the seeds of/believe in supremacist xenophobia that go(es) unaddressed, but you weren’t picky. I thought I was clearer here, and remember explicitly thinking it so thought I wrote it, but on reread I so wasn’t and didn’t). Like, remember that the pieces of Jane people relate to aren’t all of them, even, either? The people you attracted to her story were any teenage girls who’d done some stupid romance things/beaten themselves over the head while messaging a boy, right, because that’s when people latched on. Maybe fans of detective stories, to boot.

Jane’s “trust issues” story about not believing her friends was like - it sucked ass. It was a massive piece of character development, then, for her to realize she’d been wrong and essentially go oh my God Roxy, Dirk, I didn’t believe you and was too caught up in my own detective stories fantasy feeling all cool to stop and realize how much things were hurting you. Like, maybe you did something there with people who are more concerned with facts and logic than with real people’s actual stories however unlikely.

(At the same time, it’s worth wedging in a mention that the story they wanted her to believe was “we’re 200 years in the future, your great-grandma took over the earth and killed all the humans, guy fieri is a fascist clown cult leader now”? So I don’t think her disbelief is all 100% the same horrible flaw she grows out of.)

But anyway what you didn’t do was meaningfully give the emotional beats needed to attract the people you wanted to attract that throwing her character in the dumpster would serve any purpose for. There’s so much use to “they were villains all along you just didn’t notice because they were polite and sweet and relatable and cute enough” stories but Jane’s didn’t accomplish it and there was no other rep for teenage girls like her so what, I ask you, was the point.

Anyway, it’s because just like Hussie knows the aesthetic of revolution but not how to write a real one, he also knows how to make a Donald Trump joke but not what its actual implications in the story are. Why would Jane be the bad-policy xenophobe who limits the number of babies trolls can have, or whatever? Everything in her arc so far has been “oh wow, I grew up really sheltered and I hurt a lot of people with that, but my best friend suffered under things my great-grandma did and our new darling friend is also an alien and I don’t have any doubts about her and oof I was wrong about a lot of things that I didn’t realize were harmful but I love my friends more than my pride or gut and it turns out I maybe was raised pretty wrong.

She thought the capitalist empire she was gonna inherit was cool and all sure but she also thought the Batterwitch was cool and when she saw her friends’ lives that changed fast. It’s almost like she would’ve agreed Capitalism In General Bad if Hussie hadn’t already decided that the endgame planet’s just gonna randomly develop capitalism planetwide anyway (because again: Aesthetic Of Revolution, But). Also we left these people alone for thousands of years and they didn’t develop casteism among trolls (or racism among humans? can’t remember) but did develop xenophobia and no I haven’t given any thought to why. The function of this paragraph is how weird and sloppy the worldbuilding is you can ignore it.

Anyway I’m not saying that like “privileged (white tho Jane doesn’t have a canon race, but it’s relevant in this convo) girls born into wealth needed better rep and don’t be mean to them :(” but I am saying like. This character wasn’t a fascist you guys. The subversion doesn’t.... mean anything.

It’s just another example of Hussie laughing at you for being emotionally attached to anything. When you could have, if this was planned from the start, really done something here-

But that’s just it. It wasn’t planned from the start, but now Trump is in office so he wants to act woke. Do you really think this man was writing the Jane-leans-fascist plot the whole time like he was with Bro? Do you think it works to retcon in like Dave’s orientation? Dave’s orientation works as a retcon because of the sheer amount of LGBTQ+ people who looked at him and saw themselves for reasons Hussie had written, but didn’t know the real people behind, yet. The person hiding behind Jane’s writing wasn’t-- anyway I’m frustrated because what happened to the sheer amount her friends changed her.

Writing a character where xenophobic tendencies just polited-up enough to make her friends excuse her are hidden behind the cuteness and teen drama emotions would’ve been worth it if that’s what he’d done but that’d never been what he was doing with Jane.

Now, it was super successful when he pulled a similar thing with Aranea, because she was always manipulative tendencies and feelings that she didn’t get what she deserved, polited-up.

Literally it’s so obvious and ham-fisted that that was never the intention with Jane and so nothing meaningful happened.

Edit (again, 9/2 still I’m just thinkin): yeah this whole post addresses xenophobia and not fascism. That’s bc I 1) literally don’t know what to say about Jane having any “fascist” tendencies they’re not there and 2) know that fascism comes with scapegoats and that’s epilogue!Jane’s.

#homestuck epilogues #jane crocker #bro strider //#fascism //#like in fiction but yknow #side note weird how Homestuck doesn't have any men like that #but this aint an 'oh no sexism' post #just take it #if you're wondering about phrasing changes in the clarification edit it's as simple as 'I didn't know what would be more effective to hear #if you're that person'

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journeysintowebcomics · 5 years

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Homestuck Liveblog #186

UPDATE 186: Political Assassination

Last time John finally got that tooth off his chest, and Jake agreed to give his endorsement to Karkaroni. Now what will happen? Let’s see.

Has it been days since Jade has been sitting on that couch, levitating and with her eyes completely black? Given everything that has happened in the meantime it sure feels like it has. Roxy’s getting worried, she tried to call Rose but she didn’t respond, so instead he goes for the next option she has: Dave. Who immediately brags about working to stop Jane from screwing up everything. The words ‘neoliberal austerity measures’ are unsaid but they’re like an echo when Dave talks about the presidential campaign, I bet. He’s busy handling Jake’s endorsement speech.

ROXY: i guess in the grand scheme of things

ROXY: shes just takin a sort of nap

ROXY: but its one HELL of a nap bro

‘one hell of a nap, davey, shes been blacked out for, like, a week’

It seems the troll candidate is more popular with the trolls and the carapacians than with the humans and consorts. How don’t they have more consort supporters? Hopefully Jake’s endorsement will change that.

ROXY: lmao dirk just texted me about this

ROXY: somehow he found out about jade did u tell him

DAVE: uh no

ROXY: he just said make sure she gets lotsa daylight

ROXY: that itll help with the “exorcism she needs”.....

ROXY: and also to say hi to calliope for some fuckin reason??

DAVE: thats weird

Well that makes clear what the best course of action is: don’t open the windows nor place her anywhere in the daylight. If Dirk’s advice will help with the exorcism she needs – to get Dead Calliope out – then it’s a bad idea. I’m enjoying this epilogue much more with Dead Calliope controlling the narrative, thanks.

It’s alarming Kanaya isn’t picking up either. Could Dirk have gotten rid of her? I sure hope not! Kanaya has done nothing wrong and deserves to stay alive, what with being the professional when it’s about troll reproduction. She better still be fine and kicking!

DAVE: i gotta give karkat some emotional support

DAVE: since gettin jake on our side was a pretty huge fucking bonanza for us

DAVE: which has almost equal probability of winning us the election as it does blowing up in our faces depending on this speech he gives

DAVE: so we gotta like

DAVE: concentrate here?????

DAVE: instead of jerking each other off all god damned day for the rest of our lives

DAVE: (im just joking we dont actually do that)

ROXY: oh

They don’t do that, much to Jade’s disappointment, I bet. Either way, it’s speech time!

The struggle to take control of the narrative is a petty squabble, says Dirk, taking the high ground by offering Dead Calliope a way out. Buddy, pal, friend, you can’t take the high ground and then insinuate Calliope is ugly as sin. That is petty.

Apparently everybody thinks Dave loves Karkaroni, and although I believe that too, it’s fine if Dave never comes to terms to that. The guy marches at the beat of his own drum, he’ll be fine. This kind of thing can’t be forced on him. Speaking of things that can’t be forced, Roxy wants to know how Dave came out to everyone else as not straight. Oh dear, Roxy, I don’t think Dave ever did that. You’re asking the wrong person – unless you want the answer to be ‘deny it for like eight years now’.

He’s not really denying it right now, though. Maybe he did come out to the others and I didn’t find out until now. He’s not comfortable enough with rapping about ‘boning dudes’ in middle of a stadium where so many people can see him, but he’s not running away from the question. Way to go, Dave! I approve character growth!

Somehow Dave has this entire spiel about all the steps of admitting not being straight. On what phase are you, Dave? Inquiring minds want to know. I’d paste the entire thing here, because it’s pretty good stuff, but it’d feel like I’m applying filler for the sake of applying filler, so I won’t.

Dirk really doesn’t want a conversation about gender. Personally I have to agree because, even though this is great for development and I appreciate all of Dave’s steps, this is kind of a random place to shove this in. Pretty bad place, really. It’d have been great at a different moment.

Horrendously invasive of Roxy’s deepest personal thoughts.

...uh, Dirk, you know what else is horrendously invasive? Taking over the narration and manipulating people around. Also the assimilation plan, that’s more than horrendously invasive.

Okay, this is going for long enough.

DIRK: Do you even know where I am right now?

DIRK: Do you have the slightest idea what I’m up to?

the prince is laboring under the delusion that he has been the least bit subtle in his intentions. he currently stands beneath the carapacian bell tower, poised to climb to the top. he holds the long, red sniper rifle that once belonged to roxy, brandishing it openly and boldly. he seems mysteriously oblivious to the fact that holding a long rifle in broad daylight somewhat tips one to the fact that he soon intends to shoot someone from a great distance. he also seems unaware of the fact that i know perfectly well that the top of this tower has a clear, long-range view of the stadium, allowing any competent sniper a clear shot of whoever happens to be standing at the podium as they give a speech. as jake english is about to do.

he also doesn’t seem to realize i have anticipated his attempt to assassinate his own friend in order to advance his political goals, and that i am prepared to take measures which make this impossible.

It really sounds like Dirk’s getting ready to shoot, he’s up at the right place and has a view of the stadium where Jake will be, but...I don’t know, ever since Roxy said Dirk messaged her about keeping Jade in the sunlight for ‘an exorcism’ I have been feeling uneasy, and now that this all was said just now, well, I kind of suspect Dirk may try to shoot and kill Jade. It sure would free her of Dead Calliope’s control and possibly give him back the control of the narrative. It’s a possibility, no?

Somehow the next few paragraphs resembles a schoolyard roleplaying fight. ‘You can’t reach the top of the stairs because...your feet feel really heavy’ ‘really? Then I can fly’ ‘and then the bell came crashing down on you!’ ‘I cut that stupid bell with my sword!’ ‘not fair!’ ‘yes fair!’. It’s endearing in its own way.

DIRK: He wonders out loud, “what is this, amateur hour”?

DIRK: The Dead Cherub then humorlessly narrates, “why, yes. yes mr. strider, it IS amateur hour. and i’m the amateur here, for throwing a huge bell at you. i would like to humbly apologize for my amateurism.”

no i don’t.

DIRK: Sure you do.

I’m having fun with this part, guys, I really am! This is great.

This is over when Dead Calliope, trying to stop the focus on Dirk and his increasingly petty narration, turns the attention back to Dave who must still be explaining to Roxy the intricacies of coming out to their friends. I see keeping a show in a standstill is a Strider family trait.

DAVE: well lets just say internalized whatevers are kind of like an onion

DAVE: theres lots of layers

DAVE: they suck on pizza

DAVE: and trolls have to get their stomach pumped if they eat them

That has got to be the most contrived simile Dave has said in recent history.

Dirk continues saying very clearly he’s about to shoot Jake, and the more he states that so bluntly the more I suspect there’s something else going on.

‘Xenophobe’ and related words are starting to stop looking like a real word. It just has been said so many times.

Everything is making Dave feel like something’s wrong – undoubtedly Dead Calliope’s influence – so he gets in the path of any potential bullets, protecting Jake with his own body.

and despite dave’s quick and well-justified action, what is also unbeknownst to him is that the sniper no longer poses a threat of pulling that trigger. because everyone knows that for all of the prince’s shortcomings, he would never expose his beloved brother and son to the risk of a heroic death.

DIRK: You’re absolutely right.

DIRK: I would never do that.

DIRK: I’d never kill Dave, no matter what I felt the stakes were. I’d never hurt him either.

I’m pretty willing to bet taking over Dave’s self doesn’t count as killing or hurting him, therefore it’s fair game. Dave would be pretty unhappy to know what Dirk’s doing, anyway. The narrative reveals what’s in the sniper rifle are not bullets, they’re tranquilizers. It’d be a non-fatal way of keeping someone out of the way for a while. The second thing Dead Calliope got wrong, though...

DIRK: Yes. You’re right about the tranquilizer.

DIRK: But there’s one more fact you’re not aware of.

DIRK: Which is that I never intended to aim for Jake at all.

Well then! Turns out I may have been right about that he intends to shoot Jade. He must feel really confident about it if he can announce it aloud after aaaall the charades he did to fool Dead Calliope. Is it Jade, Dirk? Will you tranquilize Jade and pretty much put her to sleep – non-fatally?

Dirk spins in what must be the tiniest bell tower ever, given he only has to spin to change direction and be able to aim somewhere else, and gets ready to shoot. All Dead Calliope can do is freeze Dirk’s finger on the trigger, but he thought ahead and made the rifle to be voice-operated. All he has to do is say ‘fire’. Which he does! Game over for Dead Calliope?

Pretty good aim, hitting a vein from all this distance. Jade indeed has gotten tranquilized, and I’m pretty sure given this isn’t the first time Dirk uses tranquilizers – he uses them in TV – it shouldn’t be too hard for anyone to realize this is Dirk’s orangey shady hand making the moves.

The insult against Jade is uncalled for, Dirk. But yeah, the result of all this is that Dirk is once again back in control of the narrative, which makes me sigh with exasperation. I really liked Dead Calliope’s narration more than Dirk’s, so I’m not looking forward to this change.

Roxy drops to her knees by the couch, pulls the dart out of Jade’s neck, and tries to shake her awake. But it’s no use. That’s a heavy dose I gave her. Could be out for weeks. Maybe months? Can’t have any cherubs messing with my business on this planet. At least not until I’ve taken my leave. But Jade’s gonna be fine. Don’t worry about that.

So...she’s pretty much in a coma. Could be worse, could be worse. She could be dead. This is barely better.

Cherubs are fuckin’ weird, I’ll totally concede. Still not sure what makes them tick. What they idealize, what they really want. It all comes across to me as a little cloying. Perfection to them is a sweetness beyond comprehension. Sugar so potent it’s poison to us. To our bodies, to our souls. Like the place she was operating from was a realm of self-construction. A bubble of pure, phantasmal confection.

Well, I for one have had enough of that goddamn toothache. I’m back in the protein saddle, motherfuckers. I’m clacking my tongs, and the charcoal is hot.

Now who’s hungry for meat?

Does that mean the candy epilogue is all Dead Calliope’s influence seeping through instead of Dirk’s? It could be interesting to see what kind of thing she does to the world. Although...given the effects of the trickster lollipop and how ‘sweetness beyond comprehension’ is perfection to them, it’s bound to be nightmarish. I’m actually looking forward to that!

Speaking of meat, holy shit. You just look more fucked up every time we come back to you, don’t you, John?

You’re a disgraceful mess right now. Covered in blood, mysteriously sticky, bruised all over your arms, legs, and neck. Terezi practically raked rows into your back. You catch sight of yourself in the rearview mirror. You’re kind of embarrassed by what a postcoital train wreck you look like when all she’s got is mussed hair. And you should be embarrassed. Seriously, it’s like you were mauled by a wild animal. Jesus, don’t either of you have any shame?

Ah. Okay then, good for them, although I’m pretty concerned. Such a physically intensive activity can’t be good for the guy with a gaping hole in the chest and the troll who still must be half-starved. I won’t be surprised if these two just pass out and die anytime soon. I’m not entirely sure, but it seems things are awkward now between these two. Maybe it was all a spur-of-the-moment move.

You sit together on the hatch, like when you first met up days ago. Terezi crawls into your arms, and nuzzles right up against your chest so you have no choice but to hold on to her. You would have done it anyway if she asked, because you’re a total sap. The kind of guy who no doubt thinks banging a girl in a car is some deep, soul-shattering experience that bonds you for life. Yeah, John, you do think that. You think that you and Terezi are basically married now.

I can’t tell if he really thinks that or if Dirk’s funneling those thoughts into him. The line between what the character feels and what Dirk wants them to feel is pretty blurry by now.

After all this, Terezi gives up on looking for Vriska, so this is a prime moment for her to fly by and find them. She doesn’t, though, and John proposes Terezi to go home with him. Can they even go home? John is so tired it’s possible they can’t – which he really should have thought about before doing said physically intensive activity. Nobody to blame but yourself, John. Seriously, you have an open wound and bled like four liters of blood. You’re as good as dead.

He feels the urge to lie down and sleep, which is a pretty bad idea given the situation. Terezi rouses him up, so instead he decides to give this a try and zap back home. Hmmmm...if he’s so tired right now, it’s possible the act of zapping home will drain whatever energy he has left, so I’m not...very optimistic about John’s chances of survival. Would this count as a heroic death? Can you die from a heroic death if you die like two weeks after the offending injury is made? If he dies from exertion after having sex with Terezi that doesn’t count as a death because having sex with Terezi is neither heroic nor just, no? Oh well.

Back in the stadium, the inexistent assassination attempt may have given Karkaroni a push in the polls, and Dirk spends quite a while brandishing Jake like a piece of meat. Really, can he be treated as more than a flat character whose only non-flat trait is his posterior? Jake’s nervous and fidgets around, so much Dave and Karkaroni show concern and offer to cancel the speech and/or the campaign. It seems our favorite presidential troll still doesn’t like the idea of having leadership, he’s ready to throw the towel anytime. Jake insists he can do it, so he starts!

I don’t remember Dirk being so outright antagonistic in Homestuck. It’s making me pretty uncomfortable, I have to admit. It feels kind of out of nowhere, just like Jane’s sudden xenophobic inclinations are. What was Hussie thinking when he wrote all this? What was his intention?

Jake’s getting pretty nervous and I can’t tell if he’s getting stage fright or if Dirk’s influencing him to be nervous. The latter is a possibility, no? Wouldn’t be surprised if that’s what’s going on.

Why don’t you have a good, long think about that, Jake.

Is this really the time for a good, long think? Jake muses to himself, actually putting a finger to his chin like some public domain clip art picture of a befuddled guy. If the crowd is confused by his rapid-cycle mood changes, they don’t show it. Jake’s got a bit of a day-drinking problem, which has been slavishly documented in the global tabloids. That’s how you avoid responsibility, isn’t it, Jake? You can fool your fans, but not yourself. The truth is that there’s a canniness to the act. It’s partially cultivated. You’re stupid, but you’re not nearly as stupid as you pretend to be.

JAKE: What in the devil was i thinking coming here?

JAKE: Why did I...?

JAKE: I came here to...

... slide the biggest knife any motherfucker ever wielded directly into your friend Jane Crocker’s back?

She loves you, Jake, more than anything, and you toyed with her heart. And you would have guiltlessly toyed with her “kettle drums” too had it not been for a bit of divine intervention, let’s decide to call it.

Sigh. That’s...that’s all I can do with all this. Sigh and keep reading. Third time I’m scrolling through the epilogue a tad faster than I should. It’s pretty much an entire page of gaslighting. Nothing really worth delving into, mainly because it’s pretty uncomfortable to read such a thing. Dirk’s being the abusive ex, pretty much. Nothing really worthwhile.

JAKE: I love dirk!

JAKE: IM IN *LOVE* WITH DIRK!!!

And to love Dirk is to obey him.

You know, there are a few reasons why I’m thinking of liveblogging these epilogues. I’ll explain them later, but right now I may as well say a word of two: the epilogue is competently written. The events in it are interesting, and the interactions are raw and full of emotion. It’s all pretty unpleasant to read, which makes it a bit novel, like swallowing bitter medicine. It’s pretty good, in a technical way.

But it simply doesn’t work with Homestuck characters. It just doesn’t.

Anyway, let’s continue scrolling down to the end of the page and go to the next.

I was right in that zapping back to Earth C would take what was left of John’s energy. He barely can give three steps before he falls down, so it’s all up to Terezi now. She wants to bring John to Jane, so she can revive him. I don’t think she has revived him before, so it should be a good idea. It’d be better to bring Jane to John, though.

It doesn’t matter. This isn’t a wound you can recover from. It’s Game Over this time: no healing, no afterlife, no cosmic clock proclaiming your sacrifice as Heroic. The poison needling through you is antithetical to narrative relevance. You’re not dying, John. You’re being erased. Cherubs don’t fuck around. We’ve both been learning that the hard way.

Oh, nevermind, it’s something not even Jane with her life powers can fix. I wonder if, once John is erased, nobody will remember him. That’s what happens when there’s no place for you in a narrative, no? Hmmm...

John already know he’s irreversibly going to die, and tells Terezi not to waste her time, that he was dead the moment Lord English bit him. Which is true, given this poison. Then he says he was dead the moment he woke up that morning, which...I suppose is the depression talking.

You died the moment you made the decision to go meet your destiny. You would have lived if you made the other decision, under a certain definition of the word “living.” You might have even lived until the end of your immortal life span, as shitty as that sounds.

So he’d have lived for the rest of his life if he had decided to do nothing. Makes sense. This may have been for the better, given Lord English needed to be defeated, so it’s time well-spent. It’s rather unfortunate it involves John’s death, but...in a way I saw this coming. Pretty tragic outcome, and given this epilogue has been chock-filled with a lot of tragedy and pessimistic scenarios, it only made sense this would happen.

It’s dying words time! Terezi is really affected because she really cares for John, and also they had a ‘emotionally significant sexual encounter’, so she’s even willing to listen to all the sappy stuff John will say in his deathbed. This is bound to be rather emotional! And the fact he can’t even think of something appropriate to say in his final moments is what makes it emotional because this isn’t how he imagined this would go. He can’t even think of quotes from his movies. Terezi offers to tell everyone John Egbert said some cool stuff in his final moments and make everybody believe it somehow, so instead John goes straight towards the sappy and tragic. There he goes!

JOHN: i think... i really lo—

TEREZI: DONT YOU D4R3

JOHN: i... r-really lov—

TEREZI: DONT YOU D4R3 FUCK1NG D13 ON M3 1N TH3 M1DDL3 OF 4 LOV3 CONF3SS1ON!

TEREZI: 1 FORB1D 1T!!!

JOHN: but... i...

JOHN: i...

Then John dies in the middle of a love confession.

Love confession on the deathbed! It’s like this truly came from a movie, haha. Terezi is devastated, so much she can’t even bring herself to cry properly. Once she confirms he’s dead, she ponders what she should do now, alone in the world John wanted to bring her to. She doesn’t have anything else to do, so after a moment – and at Dirk’s behest – she takes John’s corpse in Dad Egbert’s wallet and starts walking.

It has been a month already. Jane won the election after what I figure was Jake’s endorsement speech for her, so that’s that. Terezi has been rather lost this whole month, and nobody has seen John Egbert – instead of saying he’s dead -- so I suppose she hasn’t told anyone he’s dead. Rose has been missing the entire time and Kanaya has been pushed around by Dirk’s machinations to keep him distracted while he keeps Rose locked away somewhere, both mentally and physically, I figure. All in all, it’s a pretty grim outlook for everybody in Homestuck. Also, Jade is still in coma. Terezi goes to visit her, perhaps to tell her what happened to John?

Dirk continues being so salty Roxy’s experimenting with her gender, apparently. Aren’t there a million other things to deal with, pal?

Roxy is very glad to see Terezi, and she takes Terezi thinking she’s Dave as a compliment. She also compliments Terezi, giving her some heartache because it makes her remember the time she spent with John. It may have been a few hours, apparently. Time works in mysterious ways up there in paradox space!

The reason Terezi is here is because she feels John would come here, and she’s right, I bet. John would want to check on Jade as much as he can, so now that she’s carrying John’s cadaver around, she feels she should handle this all herself. It’s also confirmed she hasn’t told anyone John is dead.

ROXY: back when jade first got all effed up callie saw somethin and it made them freak out

ROXY: it took me weeks to convince them that it was safe to come home

ROXY: but now we got the opposite problem and they arent leavin the house at all

ROXY: they stay home all day with the blinds drawn paintin some weird ass shit on the walls

TEREZI: WH4T?

ROXY: its not as bad as it sounds i promise

ROXY: some of it is like

ROXY: weird and violent??

ROXY: like lotsa nasty purple blood and um

ROXY: nudity????

TEREZI: >:?

ROXY: yeah yikes

ROXY: but MOST of it is cute stuff like... various combos of all of us being happy and gettin married and shit

ROXY: anyway thats kept callie kinda busy

ROXY: so it was hard as hell to convince them to let me come see jade at all

ROXY: its like theyre traumatized

ROXY: and they think ill drag whatever possessed jade back into our home with me

So the end result for Calliope is that she’s traumatized. Seeing a dead version of herself possessing Jade must have really rattled her. As I said, this is all pretty grim for everyone in Homestuck, goodness. Although...part of me wonders if her current state is partly because of Dirk’s influence. He’s petty enough to mess with the living Calliope’s head as a ‘take that’ for Dead Calliope.

Someone tries to contact Terezi through her phone, she’s not sure who it’d be. Perhaps Dirk? He did show a preference to sending messages to his former friends and acquaintances. As if things weren’t awkward enough for Terezi, she’s asked if she knows what happened to John. Terezi, you can’t keep this under wraps forever. Sooner or later you have to tell everyone John died because of injuries in Lord English’s fight.

It seems Terezi can hear Dirk perfectly even when he’s talking in the narration, I suppose it’s because of her aspect. Oh, be careful with the stuff you say, Dirk! She’s also willing to whisper stuff to address Dirk, even if it gets odd looks from other people. On the other hand, this kind of leaves her more vulnerable to Dirk’s machinations, no? Part of manipulating people is responding to what they say, so with some luck this won’t go belly-up.

Once the conversation is over Roxy leaves and Dirk exposits Terezi still feels guilty about hiding John’s death from everyone, and she can’t even confide in Dave because of mistakes she did as a teenager in another timeline. It’s the curse of having the Mind aspect, isn’t it? Knowing what the choices cause. All of Dirk’s exposition bothers Terezi enough for her to tell him to scram, and he refuses to do so.

Come on, Terezi. You don’t belong here. You know you don’t belong here.

Do you feel threatened by Terezi, Dirk? Is that why you’re trying to push her away? I don’t think Terezi has anything that could be particularly useful against Dirk’s plans, so I’m not sure why he’s bothering to mess with her like this. She even points out they barely have crossed words.

Okay, I believe he feels threatened by her in some manner because he tries to convince her to join him in...some place. More like he wants her out of Earth C. He even offers to let her take John with her, which is why I’m sure he made her pick up the corpse, so he could manipulate her by using John. He finally leaves her alone with her thoughts, sure he managed to convince her enough. We’ll see.

Stopping for now!

Next time: next update

#homestuck #homestuck liveblog #webcomics #liveblog #webcomic liveblog

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birdsy-purplefishes · 5 years

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I have MANY thoughts and feelings about Midsommar.

Okay I saw Midsommar last night and it was an experience. So this post is probably going to be long and rambling and it is definitely 100% for-sure going to contain some spoilers. I’m gonna put a whole lot of it behind a Read More.

First, though, I want to say that while I thought this film was great it is definitely one of the most disturbing things I have ever seen. I went into it knowing almost nothing--and honestly I wouldn’t have been prepared even if I had read spoilers--and that was the ideal way to see it for me but there are many triggering things and some very problematic things in this film. I’m gonna try to be vague as possible but you might not not to watch this one if anything from the following list is something you can’t handle. That said: I am very easily disturbed by a lot of things and I found that this film was so bizarre that I never really felt like I couldn’t finish it. It’s... kind of weirdly selective about which gruesome stuff it shows and what it doesn’t. The most terrifying things to me were implied things and I didn’t realize them until after it had ended. Somehow... miraculously... this film didn’t come across as gore/torture-p*rn to me. So Trigger Warning / Content Warnings for this movie: Violence, blood, gore, horrible suffering. Sex, nudity. Mental illness and stigmatization/perpetuation of harmful myths about mentally ill people. Suicide. Ableism. Racism. A rape scene that I think most people didn’t even realize was a rape scene because it’s bizarre and left somewhat ambiguous. Emetophobia triggers. Body horror. A whole lot of drugs. Squicky grossout stuff. Emotional, psychological, and religious abuse.

There’s probably other stuff I forgot. Basically everything horrible is in this movie. It was definitely worth it but it’s a hard watch.

Okay, now for spoilery stuff.

The backstory shown in the first few minutes is incredibly disturbing. Dani’s bipolar sister murders their parents and kills herself. It’s graphic. It’s disturbing. It definitely portrays suicide in a negative light, which is pretty much good, but: can horror movies stop perpetuating myths about mentally ill people?! This stuff is damaging! It makes mentally ill people out to be monsters and then ignorant people treat them worse. It makes mentally ill people feel like there isn’t any hope for them! This part sucked a lot. The only interpretation of this that isn’t awful is the fan theory that there are clues in the background that suggest that the cult may have actually framed Dani’s sister but that’s kind of a stretch. None of the other foreshadowing in the film is as subtle as the supposed hints that the cult fabricated the whole thing so I doubt it.

The foreshadowing is actually super obvious. It’s the typical horror film where the characters have no idea what’s going on & you’re like “DUDE GET OUT OF THERE!” the whole time. People on the subreddit are pointing out all kinds of foreshadowing and even the tapestry at the beginning shows you who all of the characters are and like 90% of the story.

Dani’s boyfriend, Christian, sucks. His friends suck. There’s a lot of macho bullshit and they’re just cold and dismissive. And the boyfriend’s a manipulative little leech. You hate him so much! I found myself hoping that she’d kill them all except maybe the cute friendly Swede. Basically the entire movie he’s gaslighting and dismissing her and his friends talk shit about her constantly. It’s the typical “oh, women are irrational and over sensitive” macho bullshit. Like to the extent that all of them know about the murder-suicide of her entire family but none of them try to fucking shield her from seeing the suicide ritual. Not even the guys who know damn well what it is going into it!

The fact that they’re all anthropology majors and they go into it with a sense of cold detachment and an insistence on cultural relativism (or utter obliviousness) and it makes them total assholes wasn’t lost on me and I’m glad that someone went into detail: https://slate.com/culture/2019/07/midsommar-graduate-students-villains-ari-aster.html

The bros say something about him dumping her and finding somebody who “actually likes sex” and there’s a lot of interpretations to that, none of which are less than horrible. Like does he try to pressure her into doing stuff she doesn’t want to? Probably! Like whether she has emotional or physical sexual dysfunction isn’t discussed and that’s kind of brilliant because even if she does have issues it’s not her fault at all and the dudes are g a r b a g e for even suggesting it.

The cute friendly Swedish dude (Pelle) who was the only one to be kind to Dani at all was actually the worst manipulator of all! He’s totally luring her in! He’s love-bombing and manipulating her! He literally “draws” her in. He does some forced-teaming shared-trauma bullshit. I gotta say though: I fell for it! I wanted her to dump the guy for him! I’m almost surprised that she didn’t fall for it. I think it’s more due to the fact that she’s traumatized and grieving than anything.

The most disturbing thing about the guy, though, is that I can’t decide if he does all of this because he’s evil or because he’s genuinely a true believer and believes with all his heart that he’s doing good things. That will haunt me forever tbh. Just... always watch out for guys who want to “save” you. They are the scariest fucking abusers.

The whole cult is love-bombing her, actually. The whole film is like Cult Tactics 101. They find a vulnerable young woman who’s lost everything. She doesn’t feel a sense of love and belonging anywhere. She has no support system unless you count her garbage basically-sociopathic-but-aloof boyfriend who really doesn’t count. Pelle hand-selected her because she’s the ideal cult brainwashing candidate. He’s seen firsthand just how much shit she takes from Christian and how she’s constantly falling for his gaslighting and tolerating him mistreating her. I was actually kind of disturbed at how many women I saw online reacting to the cult saying it was empowering or matriarchal. It’s not at all! The first elder we see leading things is female but the ones handling the book and enforcing the rules are men. I can only recall two women elders who do much of anything and they’re both just prominent parts of ceremonies. They’re announcers/performers. They’re definitely complicit but the men are behind the scenes controlling it. And look at the sex ritual! There’s no real emphasis on female pleasure and it’s all being a good little brood mare. It’s a performance. And small babies are kept away from their mothers to be raised communally. They send the mothers away from their babies! Even the May Queen role sucks if you think about it for even a second. The whole “we’re a family” thing is just creepy as hell. There’s even a lot of foreshadowing to it that I missed, like the guy who greets her shaking the mens’ hands but saying “welcome home” to her. Said guy also calls his traditional garb “girly” when Dani compliments it, btw! And of course the division of labor is patriarchal. The clothing is patriarchal too.

The mental health ableism stuff is bad but there’s ableism based on physical disability as well. Arguably it’s supposed to condemn the cult for fetishizing disabled people and promoting incest to deliberately create disabled people but... it still comes across as “look at this deformed kid” and it’s fucked up.

I can’t tell if the movie is trying to show us that the cult is racist or if the movie itself is racist. They kill off the three non-white outsiders pretty quick. Was that classic horror movie “the black guy dies first” bullshit or was that supposed to be like “look, these seemingly peaceful and loving people are xenophobic and racist and there’s a reason why all of them are super duper white despite bringing in outsiders”. Like I came out of the film definitely convinced that it’s no coincidence that the blue-eyed blonde chick gets singled out as special by these people.

It made me really uncomfortable to realize that the sex ritual is technically a rape scene. We get clues that Christian goes into it voluntarily to some extent, sure. When he knows that girl (and she does look like a young girl!) is trying to seduce him we don’t really see his reaction but he doesn’t seem to refuse outright. He seems ambivalent until he's offered the drugs but then he hears that they’ll make him lose his inhibitions, looks at the girl, and gulps the liquid. He saw it as an excuse to get away with cheating and he took it. But that doesn’t change the fact that he’s drugged when he actually agrees to the sex. He’s tripping the whole time. He’s being pressured and prodded and even literally physically manipulated. He’s out of it. The girl seems kind of out of it too. It’s really fucked up. But like it’s so weird and you’re so mad at him for everything shitty he’s done to Dani that you’re just like what?! But when you think about the fact that he’s drugged and you see the way he’s horrified after he realizes what he’s done... it’s horrific. He was violated.

I like that we see just how viscerally traumatic it is to be cheated on. Dani vomits, collapses and wails. And our sympathies are with her.

The cultists imitation of their members’ suffering is actually deeply disturbing and a huge aspect of the love-bombing thing, especially for Dani. She goes from being barely held by her expressionless piece-of-shit boyfriend while she wails to having a whole bunch of women replicate and act out her suffering. They do this too at the botched suicide and the final scene. They even kind of do it when she fails to eat the fish. It kind of looks communal and empathetic but it’s a feigned empathy. It’s another way that people in the cult lose their own personal identities. Nothing is yours there! Not even your suffering is yours.

To be honest... I went to see this film ‘cause a lot of the reactions to it were women gleefully enjoying seeing a shitty boyfriend suffer a horrible fate. I’m always down for misandry and cinematography! BUT... this was just excessive. The boyfriend is a total bastard. He did kinda need to die tbh. But he basically gets tortured to death. It’s made pretty explicitly clear that it’s horrific. They make no effort to mercy kill him like they did to the elderly guy whose jump failed to kill him. And like... the actor even gets it. The guy’s a scumbag and he doesn’t give a shit about anyone but himself. He even backstabs Chidi From The Good Place! But what happened to him is just awful.

The director and the lead actor actually disagree about the ending! Ari Aster says that Dani knows what she’s doing when she condemns Christian to die. Florence Pugh says she’s out of it.

I say it doesn’t actually matter whether Dani chose to kill Christian or not or what her motive was. Honestly it might have been a mercy killing given the state that he was in! Like maybe it was revenge for her and maybe the cult did it to make her feel empowered but it sucks being forced to choose who lives and dies. It sucks that some creepy cultist basically stole her man. It’s the whole “a pedestal is the same as a cage” thing for sure.

Last thing I can think of for now: I’m very surprised and more than a little distressed at all the people--especially women--who see this as a happy ending for Dani. Sure, it’s kind of a dark fairy tale revenge fantasy. But she’s objectively worse off than she is at the beginning of the film! She’s brainwashed and trapped! Like... I forgot where I read this now but basically Aster says that she goes from with one gaslighter to being with an entire cult of gaslighters! What do you think is gonna happen to her in the future?! She’s gonna have to live with her dead boyfriend’s baby that he had with some rando chick if that fertility ritual worked! She’s gonna have to live in a shitty commune. She’s gonna have PTSD 5ever from everything that happened. It’s honestly a tragic and horrible ending.

I’m... still processing this. I know I’m gonna end up adding to this. Feel free to chime in and discuss it with me! This movie was just Intense. BONUS LINKSPAM: Good Takes And Shit!

https://www.cinemablend.com/news/2474518/jordan-peele-says-midsommar-has-the-most-atrociously-disturbing-imagery-hes-ever-seen

https://themuse.jezebel.com/boy-problems-whos-got-em-midsommar-does-1835878652

https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/alisonwillmore/midsommar-ari-aster-florence-pugh

https://www.vulture.com/2019/07/the-end-of-midsommar-ari-asters-last-minutes-explained.html

https://www.npr.org/2019/07/03/738422258/midsommar-shines-a-solstice-nightmare-unfolds-in-broad-daylight

EDIT: Also!!! This film?! Somehow is a comedy! It’s funny as fuck and I’m definitely going to hell for laughing!

#midsommar #horror movies #horror

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