#bruceselina
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i saw this bruceselina panel and i couldn't help but imagine clary pregnant with jace singing that song maryse sang to him and alecizzymax
#clace headcanon#clary x jace#jace herondale#tmi#clace#clary fairchild#the shadowhunter chronicles#clary and jace#clary herondale#jace lightwood herondale
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letting you know as a bruceselina fan that you can dislike t*lia but make sure you keep it out of the tags and censor her name because her fans are psychos who will harass you just a word of advice
Thanks for the advice, but I’m not afraid of rapist loving psychos. Let them come.
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#bruceselina#bruce and selina#bruce x selina#batcat#batman and catwoman#the bat and the cat#dc couples#dc comics#submission
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You never change, do you, Bruce Wayne?
Not when it comes to you, Selina Kyle...
#selina kyle#bruce wayne#batcat#bruceselina#dc comics#comicedit#dcedit#brucewayneedit#selinakyleedit#batfamilyedit#batfamily#catwomanedit#batmanedit#batman#catwoman#this is ed brubaker’s catwoman btw#batcatedit#mp#catwoman 10
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So I added a little Bruce/Selina coda to we’ll fill our mouths with cinnamon here.
It's Bruce and Selina vs. a can of cinnamon rolls.
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Batman : I have eyes on the extortionist
Red Hood : aight, time to show him just where the parties at
Batman : i’m in no need of routine reinforcements on this short pursuit
Red Hood : then what the hell is my happy bi ass here for ?
Batman : you're to stay with Red Robin at this exact locale where Robin will henceforth meet up with you at 0:002. After which, I should have Nightwing with me and you three are to meet with us at Crown Point. it will be there and then that i will update you on your immediate operation, Red Hood
Red Hood : so you’re telling me that I basically got hustled into baby sittin’ duty ? no seriously B, What. The. Hell. Is. My. Happy. Bi. Ass. Really. Here. For ?
Batman : *ignoring Jay to check the current time*
Batman : I'm headed out.
Batman : *leaves*
Red Hood : *mocking Bruce hand puppet* ‘ iM hEaDeD oUt WhEn In ReAlItI iM pIoBaBlY gEtTiN sOmE gOoD hEaD fRoM mRs KiTtY ’ blahblahblah
Red Robin : *makes a distressed face* how do you know her head is even “good ?”
Red Hood : i don't. but she moves a lot like Dick, and lemme just say, that his head, is up to P-A-R 👌
Red Robin : *mourning the loss of what little innocence his mind had left to spare* god i wish we were actually really talking about people's literal heads....dear lord, why did I ask
*All of 3 whole minutes later*
Red Hood : *distrustfully silent*
Red Robin : *suspicious*
Red Robin : ...I know you
Red Hood : hm ??
Red Robin : I know how determinedly reckless you are, beyond impulsive, and completely ungovernable. not to mention that you're tapping your foot; i know you're stressed that Batman didn't allow you to come along but just relax
Red Hood : oh, no worries on when it comes to my stress gettin' outta hand Red. 'cause guess what ? I took your advice from the other day and got myself some stress balls
Red Robin : really, you did ??
Red Hood : yup. sure did
Red Hood : *pulls a red stress ball out of his pocket*
Red robin : you know what ? other people are so quick to prejudge the usage of a stress ball. the satisfaction it can give to you when just squeezing it tight. i’m so glad you did this for yourself ! and actually took a second to listen to me for once-
Red Hood : *squeezes stress ball*
Red Robin : i myself know how much using a stress ball now and again helps me. yanno, during episodes when I just want to scream curses until my lungs bleed, or, just deck a random guy in the junk-
Red Hood : *tosses stress ball in the air a few times*
Red Robin : but then I simply grab up that little ball of salvation, clutch it for a bit, and it's like the world is at peace again, so, good for you, Red Hood !!
Red Hood : *tosses the stress ball across the alleyway they stand in*
Red Robin : good for you for taking on this neighborly form of stress relief !!
Red Hood : *draws twin pistols*
Red Robin : ya know, i’m really really proud of you Re-
Red Hood : *unloads both clips into the stress ball*
*ally way being absolutely lit up by gunfire*
*stress ball falling to it’s abrupt demise*
*silence*
Red Hood : *has to walk up and shoot the damn stress ball just one more fucking time for no reason at all*
Red Hood : well hot damn do i feel a lot better !
Red Robin : yeah so that’s not how those work. . .
Red Hood : really ? could'a fooled me. oh well, i bought like 3 dozen of these little fuckers and i’m goin through'em like candy; wanna get ice cream later ?
Red Robin : why would I want to go get ice cream with your clinically insane ass
Red Hood : because this clinically insane ass is feelin so peachy right now that it’s up to havin the ice cream be on it tonight
Red Robin : not literally I hope
Red Hood : up to you
Red Robin : pass...on the literal part, but you can for sure pay for my ice cream
Red Hood : you’re no fun, be more like Dick
Red Robin : once again...pass
( ...Jason brought 9 more stress balls to their doom later on that night due to the ice cream store running out of chocolate ice cream...i mean, what kind of an ice cream store runs out of mother fucking C H O C O L A T E ice cream like come on man, get it TOGETHER people.... )
#stress relief#jason edition#jaybae has his ways#Gotham Patrol Shenanigans#timmy is so so proud#then so so hopelessly lost#lmao#jason todd#red hood#tim drake#red robin#batman#bruce wayne#jaydick#nightwing#bruceselina#batfam#ice cream parlor get your shit together man#rip stress balls
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WIP DamiColin
Another WIP of a fic DamiColin that happen in my Beautiful Bouquet AU
The text happen after the other WIP
Warining character death / child character death
~*~
Damian is dead.
That’s something Colin still doesn’t understand.
Damian is dead.
Jason was waited for him in his room after school. His eyes were red, his lips still shaken, but his cheeks dried.
“Come here, please. I need to tell you something.” He simply say taping Colin’s bed so he sit next to him
Colin thought: “That’s it. That’s the moment where he say they can’t keep me with them. How sorry they are but it’s for the best.”
He would have prefer that.
“Papa! Look what I did! Lian exclaims holding one of her drawing
-Not now, Lian. Roy tells her taking Lian in his arms to carry her off in another room. And I have something to tell you.”
Jason waits till he heard a door be closed. Then sights.
“There is no good way to tell you that.
-I understand. Colin interrupt him not wanting to hear the same excuse. You’re not the first that can’t keep me. I’m grateful for everything you did for me …
-Oh Colin.”
There was so much pity in Jason’s voice. But not the kind he was expected and something animal in him make him feel distress like he never did.
“You stay here, now more than ever.”
Colin frowned, didn’t understand.
“You’re our son, nothing could change that. We love you so much.”
Jason take his face in his hand and look at him with so much sorrow.
“What’s going on?” He finally dares to ask
Tears fight in Jason’s eyes to fall but he hold them back. He kiss Colin’s forehead, before looking him in his eyes without blinking and say it.
“Damian is dead.”
Colin never understood the expression “It’s broke my heart” or “I feel my soul leaving me”. But it was exactly that he feels. Without this unnatural pain in his heart, he is not sure he could have stay in his body.
“Why? He asks by automatism without wanting to know because it can’t be true
-I can’t answer to that. There is no reason for that.”
Colin swear he loves his dad but he never wanted to hit him so much at this moment.
“For the How, Jason proceed without knowing Colin’s hate, his grand-father had some great plan about Gotham and the world as usual, it seems even that he made some clone of Damian … While Damian save the world, one of his clone stab him. It was instantaneous, he didn’t suffer.
-Like … Damian kill himself sort of? If it’s a joke, that’s not funny.”
Jason wanted to say something but his voices broke while he rubs his still dried cheek.
“That’s not funny. Colin say again making his dad cry this time. That’s not real. Please … I’m begging you … Tell it’s a lie … Tell me it’s a joke … You lie! You want to kick me out, right? That must be that …”
Jason taken him in his arms while apologize like he was the one who kill Damian, and only then Colin realize he was crying.
“Papa! Lian says enters the room. Daddy said silly thing about Uncle Dami that’s not funny!”
But then she saw Colin and Jason cry and she just fall, like suddenly her legs can’t support her weight.
Roy arrives next to her and take her in his arms while she is crying too.
Damian is dead.
~*~
Even in front of the body, Colin doesn’t believe it.
Normally, everyone has a few minutes to present their respect, but once it was Colin’s turn he simply hold Damian’s cold and immobile hand and stay. No one dare to make him move, so everyone pay their respect with Colin next to them but seems unable to see them.
“Are you sure it was a good idea to bring him here? Loïs asks without judgment but worried
-No, Jason admits, but he said he was going to come anyway and I prefer him being with us.”
Colin is the only kid present. All the others parents refuse their children see one of them could die. Knowing is one thing, seeing it another.
Some people try convince them that Colin stay long enough now.
“It’s only him that can tell.” Roy answer for the nth times
Jason couldn’t stay next to Damian, he couldn’t even sit next to his family. Damian was two years younger than him when he died. He shouldn’t never happen. If only he was there for his family.
Roy is so the one that stay close to Colin. When everyone had pay their respect, Roy tries to convince him to sit down for the ceremony. Colin simply shake his head. Someone try to make Bruce intervenes but he answers loud enough to anyone to hear.
“Let him be. He doesn’t bother anyone.”
Bruce knows how deeply his son love … loved Colin. No matter where he is, it must make feel happy, less alone, to feel the hand of his friend in his.
Roy nods but whisper to Colin that at the end of the ceremony he would have to let Damian go so they can put him in the ground.
He takes no pleasure at that but he hopes that it would help Colin to prepare himself to the inevitable.
The ceremony finished, Jason stand up to come near to his son while Roy takes Colin by his shoulder.
“It’s over. You have to leave now.
-No.
-Colin …
-No!”
Colin yells, cries. He transform into Abuse to make sure his parents can’t make him move. With his brusque movement he almost make the coffin fall into the ground. Without Clark to maintain it, Damian would have be in Colin’s arms now.
Bruce and Damian’s sibling cry and can’t help them to move Colin, because deep down it’s what they want to do.
As gently as they can, Roy and Jason try to calm Colin.
“You have to let him go.
-No!
-You don’t have the choice.
-Yes I have.
-I begging you. Don’t follow him.”
They hold his hand who keep holding Damian’s hand.
It’s that that make Colin realize. The difference between their hands and Damian’s.
“He’s gone …
-We know.”
Without really understand how, Colin take back his true form and let Damian go. Roy and Jason hug him so strongly that it’s hurt but he doesn’t want them to stop.
Selina is the only one who succeed order that Damian is put on the ground. And she sees in Bruce’s eyes that the grieving father that he is doesn’t forgive her, but the loving husband that he is, is thankful.
He never needed her as much as now.
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Why do you love batcat do much ( i adore them) but love to know why others love them too :)
Glad you asked!
Let’s start with the fact that thIS was their first introduction to each other
Haha, I didn’t start with the detective comics, but I have loved them since I was a kid. I’ve loved Batman since I was a kid, I mean, he was my introduction into dc comics. Just like Spider-Man was my intro into marvel!
My Batman journey started with the cartoons. Btas, The Batman, brave and the bold, justice league ect
And I really loved Batman. You see, it’s the relationships that Bruce has that make him an interesting character. The whole ‘I am the night, and all criminals will fear me’ thing is cool, but if that’s all Bruce is allowed to be, it get’s old and repetitive.
Bruce’s relationships with his kids show the human and parental side to him. He has a hard time showing it, some of that comes down to his mental illness, but if you read batfamily stuff, you know that Bruce loves his kids.
Bruce also pretends to be a ladies man to keep up the image of “Playboy billionaire”. but it’s pretend. He pretends to be Bruce Wayne, because the real him, is Batman. Bruce is the character, Batman is the reality.
So where does Selina fit into this sad man’s life?
Bruce has always had a soft spot for her.
“Oh Catwoman is stealing diamonds again?”
And I think Selina saw him at first as a challenge. Like, stealing his heart was her biggest heist of all. (She steals his heart long before she realizes though.)
Batman wants to help her, and she wants to help him. There are so many versions of Selina that beg Bruce to hang up the mask and start a new life with her. Dark Knight Rise is a version where he listens…and gets a happily ever after.
Bruce sees the light in Selina, where she tends to only see the dark in herself. And vice versa.
Lots of people look at Batman and see just the embodiment of fear. Selina sees the human in him. She sees the sad, scared little boy hidden deep inside the stoic man.
And I think he clings to that, because she gets him.
You wouldn’t think that a man as unstable as Bruce and a woman so afraid of commitment would ever be able to have a happily ever after together.
But they work so well.
Selina doesn’t take his crap, she doesn’t bend to anyone’s schedule. She herself has a hard exterior, she likes to pretend she dosn’t care one way or another.
But she does care. A lot.
And she loves Bruce. Bruce is the only one she considers having a normal life with.
And as for Bruce? Every time he imagines a happy ending for himself/gets one, it’s with her.
Earth 2 Selina and Bruce
Brave and the bold
Rebirth. (The second pic is part of a dream sequence kinda thing)
injustice
Selina brings out the best in Bruce, in a way that others just can’t. She helps him be more than the batman.
He can be real with her. Honest, affectionate, soft, weak, vulnerable.
God that last one makes me cry
Anyway, Bruce being vulnerable, to me, is more interesting than “Stoic badass who only knows pain”
Married/happy superheros are just more interesting and that’s facts!
Not only are they a beautiful couple, but they make great partners as well. I mean, just go check out telltales’s batman game.
Bruce Wayne loves Selina Kyle with his whole entire heart and she loves him back.
I love them both sepratly, and I love them even more together.
Selina brings out a fun, sexy, happy side to Bruce. They make each other so happy, not to mention how healthy Selina is for him.
I adore them, they have an iconic 78 years of will they wont they. And I will fight Tom King myself to let them be happy.
Thank you for coming to my ted talk.
#batcat#brulina#bruceselina#bruce x selina#selina x bruce#batman#catwoman#catwoman x batman#batman x catwoman#Bruce Wayne#selina kyle#ask box#long post
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#batcat#dcedit#dcmultiverse#gamingedit#dailydcheroes#bruce wayne#selina kyle#catwoman#batman#*#**#gifs#batman the enemy within#btewedit#gaming#batcatedit#bruceselina#dc#selinakyleedit#brucewayneedit
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Dick: Will it make me hotter than Selina if I dress up as Catwoman at Halloween? I don't want to make it awkward.
Jason, murmurs: What's the differences between Catwoman costume and your regular Nightwing costume, they both shows everything...
Dick: *stares*
Jason: Of course it will!
Dick, sighs: You're my boyfriend, I should ask someone else.
Dick: Hey, Bruce!
Bruce: Don't make me imagine that. Don't.
#incorrect Grayson-Todd quotes#jaydick#jason todd#dick grayson#bruce wayne#selina kyle#batcat#bruceselina#halloween 2k17
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Batman #33
#this was seriously such a good issue#bruce wayne#Selina Kyle#selina x bruce#bruceselina#batman#catwoman#batman 33#my edit#batcat#my post
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If you're still doing the list prompts, robb x rhaenys, no.6?
6. Tongue-tied.I’m combining this with an anon’s request of 4 - irresistible.
Verse
To say his camp has been in a state for the last four days would be a rather large understatement. Everything had been going as well as could be expected until the morning she had shown up with an honor guard and thrown it all into chaos.
Rhaenys Targaryen, Princess of Dragonstone, back from the dead. Even now, even despite her proof, he has a hard time believing it.
Harder still is trying to avoid dwelling on the subject of alliance, of what that would mean. She has no siblings nor any available cousins, which means there’s only her, and he knows all too well that in this world alliance means marriage. Had he not done the very same with his uncle? Betrothed to a Frey, and that was just in exchange for crossing the Twins. In exchange for an army, surely the same would be required, this time of Robb himself.
It would be easier if she were cruel or old or ugly. At least then he would be able to concentrate. At least then she would be nothing more than a business transaction. Instead, she is nearly of an age with him, she has obeyed the rules of engagement to the letter, and even Grey Wind had inexplicably taken a shine to her.
And her beauty…
She plagues his every thought. It shames him, but he can’t stop it. The way her long hair falls to her back, bound in gold rings; her smooth, golden skin shown to him only in glimpses through the sheer sleeves of her gown; her sharp, deep, dark eyes that show intelligence and hide fear; her hard elegance that had enraptured him the minute he saw her. He wonders if the first Rhaenys was the same: threatening, and yet agonizingly alluring.
You’re a king, not a lecher, he keeps having to remind himself, and she is twice a princess, not some camp follower to be ogled.
Nevertheless, no matter how much he berates himself, the more he thinks about not thinking about her, the worse it gets. Until finally one night, exasperated and disgusted with himself, he throws aside the covers and gets dressed, only grabbing a knife as an afterthought. He trusts his bannermen implicitly, and Princess Rhaenys’s guards had thus far shown no discourtesy, let alone a mind for murder, but better to be safe than careless.
Robb wends his way through the castle down to the Trident with the idea to submerge himself and let the water scourge his head and body of his impropriety. He kneels down on the bank and splashes his face with cool water, cups some over his head until it trickles down his shirt and soaks his flushed skin. Just as he’s pondering going for an actual swim, he hears a twig snap and then his arm is wrenched around and sharp metal presses against his throat.
“I could have killed you just now.” It is a woman’s voice, a familiar one, and with only those seven words, all his efforts with the river are rendered useless. “You brought neither sword nor your wolf? Some soldier you are.”
“A soldier does not expect to be attacked in his own camp, Your Grace.” He feels her reach down to his hip to disarm him of his dagger, and he can’t help but reflect on the fact that her hand comes within inches of…elsewhere, and he begs the old gods and the new that she doesn’t notice what her mere presence is doing to him. “But it…it seems I am at your mercy. Pray tell, what are your demands?”
“I haven’t decided,” she says. “What would you say is a suitable punishment for depriving a princess of her solitude?”
“Perhaps you’ve deprived me of mine.”
“Why would you need such a thing? You have everything.”
Robb desperately tries to think of something to say. He can’t exactly tell her the real reason he’s here, that she’s the one for his midnight excursion. “I…well, I…” Think, damn you! “I miss my father.”
It’s true enough–sometimes he feels as though the grief will swallow him whole–but tonight, grief had not been his motivation.
“We are both without one now, it seems.” She releases him without fanfare, apparently done with her games. “Mine died here, in this very river. They say rubies from his breastplate still wash up now and again.”
He turns around to face her, and wishes he hadn’t. Her hair is for once unbound, flowing in thick curls about her shoulders, she’s dressed in thin silks that he’s fairly sure should be worn beneath a gown, not as a gown, and there’s enough danger in her expression that indicates quite clearly she could kill him if she so chose just as she’d promised.
Seven save me.
“Y-Yes, I have heard the same,” he stutters. “I am sorry for your loss.”
“I’m not,” she says, stowing her dagger. “Not really. I hardly remember him, and what he did to my family and to the realm, was unforgivable.”
He blinks, momentarily taken aback. “He was still your father.”
For an instant—and only an instant—a flash of vulnerability slides across her face. “Yes, he was.” She sighs. “I suppose that is my weakness.”
“We all have weaknesses.”
“And what is yours? What vexes the King in the North?”
“Dornish princesses, perhaps,” he quips. He is grateful his voice is steady; inside, he is a jumble of nerves.
“Hmm. You are one man among thousands, then. Wantons, cheats, beguiling seductresses, that’s what they call us, and yet given the chance they’d bed us all the same. The ultimate conquest, and the easiest.”
“Vexation is not the same thing. I do not think of you in the way you describe.”
“No? Your breeches say otherwise.” Mortified, he searches for something to say, anything, but then she runs her hand lightly down his chest and leans up to whisper in his ear. “Worry not. Your eye is not the only one that has wandered.”
He stares at her in disbelief. “I—what?”
“I shall see you on the morrow, Robb Stark.”
She leaves him alone on the riverbank with a parting smirk, and once she’s out of earshot he lets out a groan. Her words have set off his imagination worse than before, and he can’t help but envision her lying in her chambers, one hand on her breast, the other sliding up her thigh and reaching beneath her shift, his name on her lips…
Without even bothering to strip, he hurries into the river and submerges himself head to toe, wondering which would torture him most: drowning, or having to face her in the morning.
Next
#robb stark#rhaenys targaryen#robb x rhaenys#asoiaf#gotfic#my fic#verse: rxr wot5k#compliance: canon au#bruceselina
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bruceselina replied to your post “Does anybody know how to disable this “best post first” bullshit on my...”
I thought it only affected the mobile app?
I thought so too, but now I keep seeing the same posts on top of my dashboard for two days in a row so I think staff screwed laptop users over too
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Talia: Are you fucking my man or not
Selina: I absolutely am, every night
#this is how their convos would go and no one can tell me otherwise#batcat#brucetalia#brutalia#bruceselina#dc
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So hear me out - after reblogging that video of Sade singing “Is It a Crime” the other day, I realized there should be a Bat/Cat vid to that song, from Selina's POV, where the other woman is Gotham. Someone should make that for me.
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💋The Real Mob Wives Of Gotham City🍎
Episode fucking 5 :
“Yeah i got married drunk in Vegas; hasn’t everyone?“
Slade & Dick : *walking down the busy sidewalk past boutiques and shops*
Slade & Dick : *stops in front of a coffeehouse*
Slade : *smoking*
Dick : *glares at Slade*
Slade : ...
Dick : *clears throat dramatically*
Slade : what.
Dick : I am your ******* wife. DUH. I expect chivalry. I am a man with class
Slade : porca miseria *opening the door for Dick* since when.
Dick : *sashaying past Slade into the coffeehouse*
*cuts to solo interview with Dick*
Dick : *beaming* It’s been a while since Slade and I have been out on a proper date, and the CUTEST little ******* coffeehouse just opened up a block from us, so I thought, why the **** not ?? I’m more than just to be used as a goddamned blow up doll in the bed room, cazzo, how could Sexy Ace not remember ?? I’m also Arm Candy *licks lips sensually*
*cuts back to Dick and Slade walking away from the Barista with their coffees*
Dick : Isn’t this nice, Sexy Ace ?
Slade : *grunts*
Dick : *takes Slade by the arm*
Slade : You’re not an old woman, you don’t need my arm.
Dick : *gasps* I am not an old woman, you’re right, I’m your ******* wife you piece of ****
Slade : *thinking of how he only has one fucking cigarette left in his pack along with him*
Slade : ....Figlio di puttana.....
Dick : *smiles brightly*
Dick : Let’s go drink our coffee outside, mkaaaayyyy ?
Slade : whatever you want
Dick : now that’s what I’m talkin’ about
Random Man : Richard ? Mio dio. Is that really you, tesoro ?
Dick : *turns to face a handsome older man with a coffee cup*
Dick : *confusion*
Dick : *realization*
Dick : *slow grin*
Dick : oh. my. GAWD ! Vanni ??
Vanni : In the flesh, you gorgeous thing
Vanni : *embraces Dick*
Dick : *hugs back*
Vanni : *sizes up Slade over Dick’s shoulder*
Slade : *fingers clenched in suit jacket*
Vanni : *smug douchebag*
*cuts to solo interview with Vanni Salvadore*
Vanni : Yeah I know Richard; or Dick as he preferred I call him, but I just couldn’t get used to that name. *runs a hand through his slicked back, black hair* we first met years back in Las Vegas, mediocre am I right ? *laughs* I agree. But there sure wasn’t a damn thing mediocre about that ass that was ALL over my lap that first night if yanno what I mean. So I bought the two of us a round of drinks...which turned into some more drinks. And that’s how we ended up married in A Little White Chapel. *sighs* damn...should’a kept a rope on him. He’s lookin’ fine as ****.
[ From behind the camera : And what about Slade Wilson? ]
Vanni : *head thrown back in hilarity* AHAHAHA are you all SERIOUS ?!!! THAT son of a bitch ? He might like playin’ an intimidating character but he’s the same as any red blooded man. I ain’t scared of him; Mob Boss or not, don’t matter to me. Also, can I just point out that if there’s somethin that Vanni Gino Salvadore wants *smirks* then Vanni Gino Salvadore gets it. No questions asked.
*cuts back to Dick explaining to Slade just how he and Vanni met*
Slade : *listening with half an ear*
Dick : we were so ************* wasted when we got hitched.
Slade : *now at full alert*
Vanni : If I remember correctly, I woke up with your legs wrapped around my neck—
Dick : AHA ! Let’s save the bull**** talk, hmmm Vanni ??
Slade : ...
Slade : so you’ve been married before me.
Dick : Well yeah. I mean, it was one dumbass drunken night in Vegas; ain’t everyone done that ? Oh don’t give me that look babe ! It was three ******* years ago !!
Slade : THREE years ?
Dick : And, I mean, we broke up two weeks later
Slade : TWO weeks ?
Dick : *deadpan* C’mon now. Have you seen me, Sexy Ace ??? Why wouldn’t any man attempt to keep me collared ? My ass is offended as ****
Vanni : *suggestively* speaking of collars—
Dick : *slaps a hand over Vanni’s mouth*
Dick : yeah let’s not talk about that either kaaaay ? Good god it’s like you’re trying to **** with my marriage !! Can’t you see that I’m HAPPILY wed now ?
Vanni : *chuckles*
Vanni : *playing with Dick’s hair* That don’t mean nothin’ to me, Doll Face. Your preference in men still hasn’t changed though yet, has it ? Ya still like em older ??
*cuts to solo interview with Vanni*
Vanni : *braggingly* With a head full of thick black hair and piercing green eyes ? I mean just LOOK at these babies! *nears into the camera so we get a faceful of Vanni Salvadore* ******* god damned SPELLBINDING green eyes, am I right people ?????
*cuts to Slade grabbing Vanni’s wandering wrist*
Slade : You don’t wanna go there. At. All.
Vanni : Oh yeah ? Or what. Ya gonna make me ‘swim with the fishes ?’
Slade : *growls*
Dick :*oddly aroused to be fought over by two rich ass older hunks*
Young Woman : *stomps up to their little group of misery*
Woman : Vanni Gino you ******* stronzo !
Vanni : *whips around*
Vanni: Mia—
Mia : *slaps Vanni*
Vanni : um. ow ?
Mia : I heard it all from our table ! I thought you were simply going to catch up with an old friend, I didn’t know you and this bimbo were married once !
Dick : Wow. Excuse me honey ? bimbo ?
*aggressively chaotic background music*
Mia : All the pretty ones are
Dick : *sizing Mia up who is literally just a spitting female image of Dick himself*
Dick : you’re one to talk little Miss Priss
Mia : *dramatic gasp* I ought to slap you too you man grabbing puttana !!!
Dick : oh va’ a fare in culo
Mia : *taking he earrings off*
*cuts to solo interview with Mia Electra Salvadore*
Mia : I don’t know WHO this sassy little **** thinks he is, but he’s gonna get that ass handed to him in about 2 seconds flat if he’s not careful.
*cuts to a zoom in on Slade looking utterly done with this shit*
Slade : So you’re currently married
Vanni : *stands taller/trying to be as intimidating as Slade but yeah buddy it ain’t workin’*
Vanni : Yeah. What about it
Dick : *rolling his eyes*
Vanni : However *looks Dick up and down* being married doesn’t mean that I still can’t sample the buffet
Mia : *slaps Vanni’s left cheek*
Dick : *slaps Vanni’s right cheek*
Vanni : um. OW.
Vanni : What I meant to say was that it ain’t no thing what gets my motor running as long as I park in the right garage
Slade : Not if that motor get’s a leak in it
Vanni : The hell does that even mean ?
Slade : *punches Vanni in the face*
Vanni : *goes down with a leaking bloody nose*
Coffeehouse : *gasping in horror*
Mia : *hurriedly leans down over husband*
Mia : *pats his cheeks*
Mia : oh my gawd I think he’s unconscious
Mia : *stands up*
Mia : *glowering down at Vanni*
Mia : HA!! That’s EXACTLY what you get you ABSOLUTE piece of ****!
*cuts to solo interview with Dick*
Dick : *fanning himself theatrically* It was so ******* hot I couldn’t help myself
*cuts to Dick leading Slade into the bathrooms at the back of the coffeehouse with a smirk*
Slade : *puts an unlit cigarette between his lips*
Slade : *carries Dick the rest of the way to the bathrooms unnoticed*
[ camera crew : You two will get in trouble, we need to wrap this up. Get back to set now. ]
Dick : *flips crew off*
*run. those. fucking. ending. credits. right. the. fuck. now. i. don’t. have. all. day. yo.*
💋Up Next on :The Real Mob Wives of Gotham City. .🍎
Selina : *somehow gets roped into clothes shopping with Talia*
Selina : *steps out of her fitting room in an outfit topped off with over the knee leather boots and a fitted grey fur jacket*
Talia : *steps out of her fitting room in an outfit topped off with over the knee leather boots and a fitted grey fur jacket*
Selina : Well one of us is going to have to change
Talia : And that someone is going to be you honey, ‘cause ain’t no way I ain’t gonna be the one to get this outfit. And ain’t no way you’re gonna have the same exact one in your god damned closet
Selina : *seething* The hell you’ll be the one getting this outfit you little—
Damian : *steps out of his fitting room in an outfit topped off with over the knee leather boots and a fitted grey fur jacket*
Damian : *glances to mother and stepmother in matching attire*
Talia : ....
Selina : wait, what...??
Talia : *confused click of the nails*
Damian :
Damian :
Damian : *annoyed*
Damian :
#The Real Mob Wives of Gotham City#Mob Wives AU#Sladin#Slade Wilson#Deathstroke#Dick Grayson#Nightwing#jason todd#red hood#Roman Sionis#jayroman#damian wayne#robin#bruceselina#selina kyle#catwoman#batman#Talia Al Ghul#tim drake#red robin#kon el#superboy#timkon#blast from the past#or in this case#husband lol#OC characters
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