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luulapants · 1 year

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Existential despair is so common in a person's twenties, I think, because up until that point, we've had a pretty clear road map for what's expected of us and we haven't had much reason to question that map. There are still a few milestones outlined for us (start a career, get married, make babies) but more and more young people are entering the post-school world and realizing:

A) that career thing just isn't happening like they said it would

B) I'm not ready to get married/I don't want to get married/marriage isn't the sort of life-altering event that it used to be

C) I'm not ready to make babies/I don't want a baby/I can't afford to raise children right now (see point A)

And in the absence of these milestones to shoot for (which one could argue weren't the promise of fulfillment they claimed to be in the first place), what we're left with is this aimless abyss of "the rest of our lives" sprawling out ahead of us with no indication of how it will go or what we should be doing to shape it. Young people start their first jobs, find they hate them, and think to themselves, "Is this it? Am I just supposed to do this job until I'm too old to do it or die first?"

Which is, yeah, really fucking depressing!! So here's my best attempt at an alternate roadmap for young people that don't vibe with the old model. Please feel free to add in your own suggestions!

Learn how you work and what you want out of a job. Unless you've been in a job-specific training program that gives you hands-on experience, your first jobs should be experiments. Learn how a full-time job feels for you, what elements are more or less difficult. Different workplaces have different cultures and expectations - what do you need out of a job environment? Do you need to find fulfillment in your job or is it enough for it to pay the bills and leave you time to find outside fulfillment? Do you want to climb a corporate ladder or are you content to hunker down as long as your bills get paid? This period of experimentation is exhausting and may feel like it's consuming your whole life.

Learn how to make time for things outside of work. Adapting to a full-time work environment often leaves you feeling so drained that you can't do anything but go home and collapse on the couch every day. That's fine - for a little while. But it can also become a habit. You need to learn how to do things after work or you'll go crazy. Go to a trivia night. Start an exercise schedule. Take a class in your community. Find volunteer work. Join a band. You will find that putting more things into your day makes you feel like you have more time, not less.

Find a community. Making friends as an adult can feel impossible. Where do you find these mysterious friends everyone seems to have?? This goes along with #2, though. As you start regularly attending the same activities, you will find that repeat interactions with the same people turn into friendships or at least friendly acquaintances. Say yes to invitations. Get involved in your local community. Strive to be connected enough to bump into people at the grocery store.

Unlearn bad lessons. We all internalize some messed up things when we're growing up. As you start off your adult life, that's the time to actively work at unpacking the things you've brought with you from childhood and deciding which things are helping you and which things are harming you. This might mean therapy or joining a spiritual group or reading new things or just making special time to be in your own head.

Learn the lessons you missed. In this, I mostly mean practical things. "Adulting." Areas of your day-to-day practical life that are causing you extreme stress are probably related to a knowledge or experience gap. Do you hate cooking and cleaning or were you not taught how to do it properly? Are you afraid of making medical appointments or is it just something new you're not used to? Does money make you queasy or do you need to learn how to make a budget?

Find something fulfilling. This can be your job. It can be volunteer work. It can be faith. It can be a hobby. It can be creating things. It can be challenging yourself physically. It can be activism. It can be going for walks in nature. Everyone finds fulfillment in different places. If you're not finding it where you are, look somewhere else.

#adulting #advice

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yeoja-dream · 3 months

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Found/Fated/Forever

Part 1 Part 2

Pairing: BTS OT7 x Reader Genre: Fantasy, eventual smut, porn with plot, slow burn, hurt/comfort Characters: Supernatural!BTS, Vampire!Jungkook, Supernatural!Reader Content Warning: Y/N in danger Word Count: 3,100

“You want to WHAT?” You asked him, eyes wide,

“Lower your voice! Someone next to you is gonna hear you yelling like that and call the bouncer.” He hissed.

“Well I’m thinking that might be the right idea considering what the hell you just proposed to me.” you hissed back.

“It’s not that crazy!” He insisted. “I step out of line, you blast me with radiant damage as hard as you can and if you don’t outright kill me, you’ll take the wind out of my sails plenty long enough to get far away from me.”

You regarded him for a moment. “You JUST got through saying you had SIX mates. I know having two or three is rare, but you expect me to believe that you might have a SEVENTH mate and it might be me? We were vibing just now but I don’t know if we were vibing that hard.”

“I also told you it's the same with each of my mates, something tells me I need to be somewhere, and by a crazy coincidence, we meet.” He adds. “I will know right away!”

“Ugh!” You sighed, exasperated, resting your head in your hands. “You know 3 hours ago I walked into this club single, happy, looking to get drunk and have an easy fuck to forget a shitty day, and I’m walking out having saved a woman from a demon rapist, pissed off or turned on that demon rapist, and now I have a marriage proposal from the aether.”

“I can help with some of those issues, I think? You lost me there for a second I’m not going to lie to you.”

You didn’t reply.

“Look, I don’t want to pressure you. We had a great conversation over a strange and scary happenstance, and if you would rather go our separate ways as strangers having never learned the truth, then I respect that choice. Or the cheap fuck, if that option is still on the table.”

You smacked him for the later remark. You sat, contemplative, and as if sensing you needed space, Jungkook excused himself for a cigarette, leaving you alone with your watered-down whiskey and your thoughts.

I mean what are the chances right? He takes a little nibble, he spits it out, I take him back to mine, and we test out that vampiric stamina. It’s basically impossible that 1 person has 7 soul mates! You reasoned. On the other hand the one in a million, no billion, no TRILLION chances that you are this guy’s 7th sister wife what does that mean? Do I join his commune? They probably have a commune. Am I bonded to his other wives? Are they also vampires? I don’t think I have enough blood to go around. You rub your temples, frustration rising higher and higher in your body. I could also not choose. You reminded yourself. I could go home, forget this man, forget this night, and have everything go back to normal.

Interrupting your thought process, David approached you. “You look mighty stressed.”

“Yes!” You just about yelled at him. “Sorry, yes.” You said in a calmer tone.

“Bar’s chill for the minute, what's up?”

You obviously couldn’t tell him the truth, but what if you were vague? Vague was okay. “I was confronted with a life-altering choice, and I don’t know what to do.”

“Well, how do you usually make choices?” He asked, leaning back on the bar and crossing his arms.

“I don’t. I find that fate has a way of making decisions for me.”

“Well…” He shrugged, digging in his apron pocket. He slid forward a shiny, silver coin on the table. “You can have fate choose for you again.”

You looked at him, then the coin. It’s my best bet. You thought to yourself, sliding the coin off the bar and into your hand, feeling the weight of it. May this lead me to the path of my destiny you willed into the coin before giving it a toss.

The coin landed, and you understood what it was you had to do.

~~~~

You met Jungkook on the street, just as he put a cigarette out on the cold pavement.

“Hello,” he regarded you warmly.

“I’ve decided.” You tell him. “Strings of fate and all that horse shite. I will blast the shit out of you if you take more than I tell you.”

“You have my honor and my word.” He replied, punctuated with a dramatic bow.

“Remember, blasting! And not the fun kind!” You warned him again, finger pointed sternly.

“I would be disappointed in you if you gave me anything less.”

“Anywhere really. I mean somewhere a little private. Like I said I just need a sip and I will know.”

“Is my house okay? I mean you said you’d fuck me so I’d figure it was alright.” You asked, feeling shy suddenly.

“Oh yeah, that’s fine!” Jungkook said. “I mean I was joking about the fuck thing I mean I just said it because you said it!”

You looked at him with a strange expression.

“Not that I wouldn’t! You are extremely attractive! If you wanted to I would definitely be down don’t get me wrong I just-” He cut himself off. “I am making this so much worse for myself, aren’t I?”

“Very much so.” You said as you opened your umbrella and stepped out from under the awning. “Shut up and let’s go before I change my mind. The Uber will be here in a minute.”

~~~~~

You lived in a one-bedroom place in a modest part of town, inside an apartment block that never seemed to be quiet, with the exception of this moment. Jungkook sat politely at your small kitchen table, you stood and leaned against a kitchen counter, the silence hanging between the two of you only interrupted by the sound of the rain hammering at the window, and the kettle steadily coming to a boil. You regarded him again for a moment, before turning to your cabinets and pulling out two mismatched mugs.

“The tea will be done in a minute.” You said, ripping open the tea bags, setting one in each cup. A few more minutes of silence passed before Jungkook stood suddenly.

“I’ve never done this before,” He blurted.

You take a moment to process what it is he could mean by that. He’s mated so he’s certainly not a virgin, seems to be over a hundred so it’s not his first time drinking blood you thought, before your mind wanders further. I did not just invite this man into my home to kill me. Tell me I did not invite this man into my home to murder me. God DAMN it, I fell for his stupid necklace and that incubus is probably waiting for his signal nearby.

“I suggest you explain yourself quickly and clearly, because it is sounding to me like what you’ve never done is have your ass blasted as hard as I am about to.” You said, turning around slowly, eyes locked on him. No funny business dude.

“I wasn’t completely truthful with you before. A lie by omission I guess which doesn’t trip up the necklace but I am going to stop rambling because you seem really justifiably mad.” He said putting his hands up. You took a step closer, energy beginning to crackle at your palms.

“Every single time I met my mates, I was called to meet them by happenstance. That is true. But every single time they knew, or guessed we might be mates before I did. So I have never personally tested the whole “someone else’s blood or energy should be poison to me” theory.”

“So you have no idea if this is even going to work!?” You yelled at him, palms crackling further. “So I’ve just invited you into my home so you can what, make a snack out of me?”

“I know it works!” Jungkook countered, taking a step back as if almost cowering.

“How?!” You demanded, lowering your magic a bit. You weren’t going to kill him, not yet anyway.

“30 years ago!” Jungkook blurted nervously. “One of my hyungs, we got into a huge fight and he ran away for a few months. He subsists on energy, and when he tried to take from people that he wasn’t mated to, it poisoned him. Badley. He was starving and as close to death when we finally found him.”

You look at his necklace and wait. No glow. So he was telling the truth. You lowered your guard completely.

“Jesus Christ dude you can’t phrase it that way! I thought you were going to say “I’ve never done this before, never murdered!” and then jumped me with that incubus freak.”

“No, you are right about that and I am really sorry.” He took a step back toward you, sitting back at the table.

“If you know it works,” You began, pouring the now boiling water into each prepared mug. “You didn’t have to tell me you’d never tried it personally.” You said, placing each up on the table and joining him at the opposite seat. “It has no bearing on the outcome for you, so why did you feel the need to tell me?”

“Ah well,” he began, stirring a scoop of sugar into his tea idly. “I’m a stranger, asking you to make a big leap of faith that sure, benefits you, but also benefits me. I couldn’t sit right with knowing you didn’t have every piece of information I could offer you.”

“I… appreciate that.” You remarked, dumping 3 ice cubes into your tea. “I don’t like to wait for it to cool,” you admitted, somewhat sheepishly.

“No, I don’t get the impression you do like to wait for much,” Jungkook replied, offering his cup to cheers with yours. You clink mugs and drink your tea in comfortable silence.

~~~~~

“So how is this done usually?” You asked him, standing face to face in your combined living room and bedroom area.

“Truthfully?” He asked you.

“Truthfully.” You confirmed.

“My kind typically have been the stalk you, grab you and lure you into a dark alleyway and drain you of all your blood or charm you with magic and charisma and lure you to a place where we do the same thing, sort of people.”

“I am confirming that that is not what we are trying to accomplish?” You half-jokingly asked.

“That is not what we are trying to accomplish.” He confirmed. “I want you to be comfortable. However, wherever would be the most comfortable for you is where I want to do it.”

“Um, okay.” You looked around. “I guess for me that would be my bed, that isn’t weird right?”

“Not at all,” He confirmed, allowing you to lead the way.

“But-” You stopped halfway before getting onto your bed. “It’s just my duvet is white, maybe I should put down a towel? In case things get messy.”

He scoffed at that. “I am not such a pedestrian, I reckon I have been drinking blood since you were born.”

“Are you sure about that?” You looked him up and down. Vampires didn’t age, sure, but surely he couldn’t be THAT much older than you, right?

“If I get so much as a drop on your duvet, I will replace it with any duvet of your choice.” He said, placing his hand on his heart.

“It doesn’t mean that much when you place your hand over an undead heart.” You said knocking his hand off his own chest. “But you’re not glowing, so I will take your word for it.” You said, sitting down. “Come, sit.” You invited him with a pat on the bed. He obliged.

“Hey,” You began, after letting a few beats of silence pass. “Do you think we could just lay side by side for a few minutes?”

“Oh, yeah, sure.” He said, following your lead and sliding himself up the bed, laying comfortably on one side, you on the other.

A long silence hung in the air. “I fuck strangers and this is somehow the most intimate I’ve been with one ever.” You remarked sarcastically. Jungkook chuckled lightly in response,

“Me too.”

More silence hung, heavy in the room. You laid back, eyes boring holes into the ceiling. He too laid, unmoving, this is all on your terms he was communicating. You shut your eyes.

“What does it feel like?” You whisper.

“The bite, or the connection?”

“Both”

“The bite hurts for a second, but it goes away pretty fast. Vampire venom has powerful numbing properties. Some people even feel peace or euphoria, it's supposed to keep you from running from us once we have you.” He paused before continuing. “The connection is, overwhelming, in a word. Everything in your body turns up to 11, you become very magically charged, emotionally charged, physically charged and, uh, sexually…” He cleared his throat. “Charged.” He finished.

You sat in silence, digesting that information. You roll over on your side, facing him, he mirrors you.

You spent a few more minutes, studying his face in earnest. At this proximity, there was a boyishness quality you didn’t notice from far away. It was cute, even, bunny-like, and as you stared at him, you searched your mind, your heart, your soul, desperately looking for recognition, the easy way out, one last chance to avoid the leap of faith.

“What if I am mated to you?” You whisper

“We will figure it out.”

“How?”

“Do you trust me?”

“I don’t know.”

“Before we begin, I told you before you might lose some of your sense once we begin. Where is a line too far? Where should I stop you? Where should I stop me?”

“The troubled, sarcastic, sad part of me knows I can’t trust anyone.” You said, raising your hand to cup his cheek. “But something deep inside of me is telling me that you are truly good people. And for once, I am not going to push this one away.” You whispered, voice wavering. “Just, don’t hurt me, okay?”

He didn’t reply, but he held your gaze.

“Jungkook?” You ask softly.

“Hm?”

“Would you kiss me please?”

He then scooted closer to you and mirroring the motion you did before, he raised a hand, cupped your face gently, and placed a single, lingering kiss on your lips. He pulled away slightly, but a centimeter, I’m ready, but only when you are, he communicated to you. You closed the gap this time, I’m ready.

The kiss started off slow, chaste, even as two bodies, two energies tentatively explored the other in the more intimate environment. Jungkook was a good kisser, you decided, firm, but not too pushy. He allowed you to set the pace, the intensity, but what you gave he took readily. You parted your lips to him, and he took them greedily, using his free hand to hook around your back and drag you across the bed and completely flush with his body. You found your arm folded into his chest, the building intensity causing you to grip the fabric. You kissed greedily now, hungrily, like lovers long since reunited. It felt good, it felt right, you also decided. Kissing him was like the gentle respect and deep intimacy shared between two people who had loved each other for a long, long time. You couldn’t remember the last time you’d felt it, and you wanted more.

Your arms were at a disadvantage, pinned against his muscular chest, but you used the position to pull yourself closer and closer still. You needed more of him. You wanted more of him.

“Jungkook…” you whispered against his lips, a plea.

“I know, God I want you too.” He whispered back his arm like an iron bar across your lower back holding you in place. “But we have to do this first, sex makes everything so messy and confusing.” He broke away from your lips, kissing up your jaw bone stopping at your ear. “I’m gonna do it now, okay?” He whispered.

“Okay.” You confirmed. You found yourself then, in a swift move on your back with him straddled across your waist. From this angle, his baggy pants tented visibly over his crotch, the sight of which alone wound your core up so tight, you wondered if you’d cum immediately when he slips it in. He didn’t give you long to appreciate the view, as he leaned over you, face to face, and continued to kiss you. Your tongues didn’t battle but danced in harmony, and as you felt your hips rise to grind against the hardness so close to where you needed it, he broke away from your lips again, panting, he again peppered kisses up your jawline, but then down your neck this time gently sucking and licking on his way down, leaving you breathless. He settled on the spot but gave the skin special attention, the sensation of which had you sighing and running your fingers through his hair.

When he was finally satisfied, he wasted no further time and sank his teeth in, the sensation of which made you yelp in pain. He didn’t lie about the pain. After a brief pause, you felt the sensation of him drinking you in. He swallowed once, came up for a breath, and in that moment, from head to toe, it was like you had both been struck by lightning.

Overwhelming wasn’t the right word for it. Euphoric. Pure energy crackled and popped at your skin, literal sparks flying off at the points your skin connected. It was painful, you thought, but everything felt so amazing it faded into the background. Joy, pure joy radiated through your body. In fact, you can’t recall a time when you had ever felt this light-hearted and happy.

In the same moment, as euphoria washed over you, Jungkook’s demeanor changed and with a visceral, animalistic grunt, he dove back in sucking at your neck. The sensation was divine.

“More, more” You found yourself begging again and again. He was like an immovable object in his current positioning, but you allowed yourself the luxury with your now-free hands to slip under his baggy shirt, relishing in the corded muscle of his back and biceps.

The more he drank, the closer it seemed you got to the edge of something great. As something darker and harder to control overcame Jungkook, he didn’t notice when your enthusiastic pleas for more turned into incoherent babbling, and only when he had his fill, and the dark that consumed him receded, did he finally realize that you had fallen silent for quite some time.

He pulled away from your neck and examined your body in horror. Limp, and unmistakably ashen. You looked like a corpse.

“Y/N,” He said, panic in his voice, shaking your shoulder. “Y/N!” he said louder now, yelling and shaking you as violently as he dared.

Fuck.

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I told you guys one after the other! Like I said in the last post, I'm working on intertwined, that update might go up today or tomorrow, depending on what I'm feeling, I only promised this post! I also mentioned before that I will update the tags once I reveal which bts member is what/ what Y/N is but try to guess below! You might be right~

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welcometothejianghu · 3 months

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Welcome to another round of W2 Tells You What You Should See, where W2 (me) tries to sell you (you) on something you should be watching. Today's choice: 民国奇探/My Roommate is a Detective.

My Roommate is a Detective is a 2020 drama about the Jazz Age shenanigans of a terrible OT3: a useless noodle boy, a spoiled journalist girl, and a handsome thug-turned-cop, who together solve Agatha Christie mysteries in 1920s Shanghai.

I mean, seriously, have you ever wondered what Hercule Poirot would be like if he were a 6'2" Chinese rubber man? If he had a long-suffering sugar daddy from the wrong side of the tracks and a spunky sugar mommy who owned their shared apartment? The answer is, it would be a laugh-out-loud-funny series about a ridiculous and charming assortment of weirdos solving only slightly believable murder mysteries in charming period clothing.

This is another one of those shows where I'm kind of shocked at how not well-known it is, except I'm not, because I can see exactly the problems that keep fandom from descending on it like horny little vultures. Nonetheless, I think it's a good time that more people would enjoy if they gave it the chance. Here's five reasons why you should:

1. Equal parts smart as heck and dumb as butts

On the one hand, especially given its tone and tenor, this show has many surprisingly clever turns and thoughtful moments, carried along by some talented actors. On the other hand, [.gif of a guinea pig in a rollerskate being pushed merrily down a hallway]

This show is not a complicated intellectual exercise. It's an action comedy about a goofy sleuth, a rich-girl reporter, and the cop who should be the straight man in this trio, except he's as much of a goober as the other two are. If the promotional tableaus are giving you real "cover of a Clue box" vibes, you've understood the kind of pastiche it's pulling off.

The mysteries are preposterous. They're all the kind of thing that exemplify the Doyle line about how, when you've eliminated the impossible, whatever's left has got to be the answer, no matter how ding-dang improbable it may be. You know the type: tons of overly elaborate setups, unbelievably perfect timing, coincidental long-lost relatives, people hallucinating right and left. They're also very short -- most full cases take only 2-3 episodes to introduce, investigate, and resolve, even when interspersed with the larger goings-on in these weirdos' lives. The DramaWiki page for the show lists 23 separate arcs over 36 episodes, so you do the math.

And yet, it's way more thoughtful and clever than its doofy little setup would indicate. Its attention to detail surprised me on more than one occasion. Add to that a bunch of solid performances from an ensemble of real characters, and what you get is definitely more substantive than a junk-food waste of time. You can't turn your brain off while watching it, but you sure can turn it down, and that's great.

It also doesn't hurt that everyone is super attractive and wearing great outfits. The whole show's worth it for the wardrobes.

2. THE GIRL

Fuck the haters, fuck everyone, I am going to climb right up on my little soapbox and tell you all why Bai Youning is awesome.

She is insane. She's a troll. She's a clever little monster. Every other character's response to her is, oh my god, you are literally the worst. And she is! She has been spoiled beyond belief by her incredibly rich Crime Dad, and she has learned to leverage her uwu just a widdle girl status to get her whatever the hell she wants. She simply cannot hear it when someone says the word "no." She will look her future sister-in-law in the eye and point a loaded gun at her own head without blinking. Every ball she has is made of brass.

She's hardly perfect. During the course of the show, there are some times where her entitlement runs face-first into the brick wall of reality. She's not nearly as good at her chosen career path as she's been told (mostly by the people who get paid to tell her she's good). She's rarely prepared to deal with the consequences of her actions, especially when she can't just throw money at the problem.

So she learns, and grows, and changes. She's always going to be a stubborn bitch, but she can become a stubborn bitch with a more accurate conception of her relationship to the world around her.

She's actually a really good romantic foil for Lu Yao, who is equally stubborn and spoiled and obnoxious as hell. It is a pure brat4brat relationship, where each one thrives on comically enraging the other. What this means, though, is that when they actually start showing one another some vulnerability, it's really sweet.

Now: I'm pretty sure that you could not have made a female character in her position that everyone did not hate, no matter how cool you made her, because that is the fate of all girls who theoretically keep the two boys from kissing. (More on that next point.) If she were less outgoing and friendly, she would've been hated for being too cold. If she were less headstrong, she would've been hated for being a pushover. If she weren't as into the boy, she would've been hated for being frigid. I know the "god forbid a woman do anything" meme is a joke, but ... man, god forbid this girl do anything. She gets a level of hate entirely disproportionate to what she's actually like. As I said with Eom Dada, it's not always sexism, but sometimes, yeah, it's sexism.

(Real talk: Her character is also fighting both how she's definitely not written as well as the boys are and how the plot sometimes needs her to be artificially stupid and jealous for Straightness Drama Reasons, so that's a legit problem on a structural level. Also, she's dubbed by someone else and the boys aren't, which gives her voice an annoying not-quite-there quality that's hard to ignore. The deck is stacked against her real hard even before she steps onscreen.)

So here's my advice: Go into this show wanting to like her. Embrace her terribleness as a positive, intentional quality. Don't be mad at her for straightening up an endgame that was never going to be gay, even without her. Welcome her contributions to the chaos. Realize that she is exactly as entertainingly irritating as her boys are.

Truly, this is a story of three terrible people in love. They're all just awful, and you wouldn't want to be in a room with any of them for longer than you had to. Left to right up there, Bai Youning is spoiled and self-absorbed, Lu Yao is arrogant and lazy, and Qiao Chusheng is suuuuuch a fucking cop. If you're into the kind of dynamic that can only be described OT3: You All Deserve One Another, then this one's perfect for you.

3. Do you really miss '00s queerbaiting?

Like, really? Are you just super-nostalgic for being able to see the showrunners go, ha ha, girls, we know you're watching and we know you want these cute boys to kiss, which they never will -- but what if we pretended for just this one scene??? Do you just carnally ache for that with every fiber of your being?

Yep.

Now, why am I calling the occasional really gay moments between these two gentlemen "queerbaiting" and not "bromance"? Because these moments are a) obviously intentional, b) completely sporadic, and c) never spoken of again.

For example: There's a scene (which you can see a gifset of here) where the two of them are at a restaurant frequented by the cop, who brings a lot of ladies there on dates. When the waiter points this out, useless noodle boy says, I'm his date. The waiter looks mildly surprised by this, the cop says not to listen to his bullshit, and that's the end of it. The scene moves on. There is no further discussion of this comment. It does not affect their relationship.

That's the essence of queerbaiting: that little on-purpose nod to the homoerotic tension between the two, in a way that isn't a joke but also isn't not a joke, and either way is never going to happen. (In fact, the show is going to go out of its way to make sure that ship gets sunk, so, uh, get your fanfiction lifeboats ready for that.)

A true queerbaiting move is something that should make a difference in a relationship, but doesn't. It should make a difference that our cop is so comfortable in the noodle boy's personal space that he invades it at will. It doesn't. It should make a difference that noodle boy keeps getting real weird every time the cop has a date with a girl. It doesn't. Those are some real romantic moves the two of them keep pulling, and then nothing comes of them.

I had this show sold to me as being incredibly shippy, to the point of being even more so than its censored-BL contemporaries. And ... well, it is and it isn't. It has textually gayer individual moments, but it is much less pervasively gay. It's clear from the start that it's going to throw all its actual relationship points into its canon het romance. When it comes to these boys, the show is toying with you. It knows you want to see those boys smooch, just as much as it knows (and it knows you know) they're never gonna.

How you feel about this is entirely up to you -- and indeed, it may be a dealbreaker on the whole drama for you. If you are inclined to pitch a fit when your ship does not become canon, you'll be happier somewhere else. If, however, you see this as a delightful opportunity to do whatever the hell you want with the situation as it is presented, all the while enjoying little moments of startlingly blatant homoeroticism between two handsome dudes, well, here you are!

(I mean, if you want my take on it, what needs to happen is that the cop and the girl need to fuck while the useless noodle boy watches with asexual bisexual interest, and then they all need to snuggle with the noodle boy in the middle so they can both annoy him appropriately, but your mileage may vary.)

4. The multicultural extravaganza!

1920s Shanghai had a lot going on in terms of cultures and languages, and this show actually does a fair job of representing that.

By now, I've seen a number of shows set during this era, and they all at least acknowledge the international nature of the city -- usually by mentioning the French Concession and having a handful of evil Japanese characters. However, this is the first time I've seen a show go to such lengths to actually show so many non-Chinese characters onscreen, even to the point of making one a recurring character supporting the main squad.

Salim is the best. Whatever he is being paid, it's not enough. He's Qiao Chusheng's right-hand man, which means he is also the dude who most often has to put up the main trio's bullshit. (The actor himself is also a dude with a pretty cool backstory, which is another great layer.) He's sharp, he's loyal, he's patient, and he looks great with his shirt off. He's got it all!

Other non-Chinese characters include a white Jewish art collector (I'd issue a warning for period-typical antisemitism, except … honestly, it's mostly just confused), a sadistic priest who maybe is supposed to be Italian, a completely different priest who [last episode spoiler], and three whole sinister white dudes behind it all.

It's not just the world coming to China, though! A large number of the Chinese characters are said to have spent significant time outside of China, whether for business or for schooling. Near the end, when some characters are discussing moving away from Shanghai, they consider a number of foreign cities as potential destinations.

Here's a delightful detail: When Lu Yao and his sister speak English, they're dubbed by actors with posh British accents who sound like native (or near-native) English-speakers. This makes perfect sense, because both of the siblings did a lot of their schooling in the UK. When Bai Youning speaks English, she's dubbed by someone who speaks English very well but also has a noticeable Chinese accent, which makes perfect sense for her character's background. And Qiao Chusheng never speaks English at all, because he's a street tough who has no reason to know more than three words.

...This is also kind of weird to say about something literally made in China, but go with me on it: Everything's kind of got that Art Deco Orientalist vibe to it. It looks like China's idea of what Britain's idea of China during that period would have looked like. The result comes across less like what 1920s Shanghai would actually have looked like, and more what an ad for 1920s Shanghai would have looked like. It's a fascinating aesthetic, and more so for how it's mostly pretty subtle. The show isn't some visual extravaganza, but it's always very nice to look at, and I appreciate that in a show.

5. A wonderful horrible protagonist

A lot of mystery-themed prestige television involves an asshole genius detective who gets away with being a dick to everyone because he's sooooo smart, while all his long-suffering friends and colleagues spend a lot of time doing damage control for him because, sigh, he's an asshole but we need him, genius excuses all dickhead behavior, we'll always make exceptions for him because he's just ever so special. (Watch histrionic sage hbomberguy's video on Sherlock if you're unfamiliar with the trope.)

Lu Yao is an asshole genius detective, but one who winds up spending most of his time being an asshole to a) people who deserve it, or b) his horrible friends who will be assholes right back at him. When he is awful to the people who don't deserve it, the show smacks him pretty hard on the nose for it and makes him apologize.

This is a show where you'll figure out pretty quckly if you'll love it or hate it, because if you love Lu Yao, you'll love it, and vice versa. He carries most of the show himself, with his goofy charm and his incredibly bendy slenderman body and his ability to make the one competent person he knows both protect him and give him money.

Like so.

For my own part, I find him intensely charming, and I think a lot of this has to do with Hu Yitian's ability to play him as an affectionately bullyable weenie who needs to get shoved in a locker for his own good. He's the worst, and it's comically endearing instead of offputting because at the end of the day, he really does have a good heart. He's just also lazy as heck and disinclined to do anything that he does not want to be doing, and really, aren't we all?

As I alluded to in point 3, he comes across as real asexual. He's just not that interested in sex, and he is in fact pretty uncomfortable in situations where he finds himself the subject of someone else's sexual desires. He's perfectly capable of romantic feelings! I mean, not only does he get Bai Youning as a love interest, we actually meet one of his ex-girlfriends. He's just not partciularly horny about them -- which is even more noticeable as a sharp contrast to how extremely horny Qiao Chusheng is for just about everyone, but this exasperating little dork in particular.

(Like seriously, 90% of the time, Chusheng is about to explode with sexual frustration at Lu Yao's skinny oblivious ass.)

This isn't to say you couldn't get Lu Yao into bed, because you absolutely could, and he'd probably have a good time. You'd just have to remove all distractions from the room, lest his ADHD ass wind up running off to solve a crime mid-coitus.

Twiggy little nightmare man. Garbage-animal boy. Love him.

sidebar: A word about the ending

I'm going to be vague and talk about general vibes instead of specific events, but you should still skip this section if you want to remain completely unspoiled. Jump to the picture of Chusheng holding the sledgehammer.

Okay, so, a lot of people do not like the ending, and I'm including myself in that number. I honestly don't know if they got rushed and had to wrap everything pretty last-minute, or if they thought they might get a second season out of it and were leaving things open-ended accordingly. Either way, it's incredibly unsatisfying.

I think there's a clue that the show didn't actually want to end this way, and it's not actually in the text of the show itself. Every episode, between the last scene and the start of the credits, you get to see a couple still frames from the episode (usually some of the queerbaity ones). After the very final shot of the series, you get two images: the boys hugging goodbye, and Chusheng's upset face. That's not a resolution! That is at best a "to be continued..." ending!

But no, that's it. That's all, folks.

It's not quite an ending so bad it ruins the rest of the show, mostly because it doesn't feel finished, so it's less like you're watching a car being deliberately driven into a wall because someone thought that was the best route to take, and more like you're watching someone leave a car on the railroad tracks because they figured they'd have time to move it later.

As far as I know, there has been no noise made about a second season. These 36 episodes are the entirety of the narrative. It had the distinct misfortune to start airing in March 2020, which wasn't exactly prime time for planning sequels, and that seems to have been that. (There is a 2022 show called Checkmate that stars the two main guys in extremely similar roles, also adapting Agatha Christie stories, but it's apparently pretty meh? Somebody else who's actually seen it, go ahead and weigh in here.)

I'll say that if you turn off the episode right after Lu Yao gets out the handcuffs, you'll save yourself the worst of it the awkward and unsatisfying moments (though I'm impressed at your willpower to stop watching something five minutes from the end). That's not all of it, though. Structurally, there are several situations rushed to a resolution and loose threads left flapping untied in the breeze. I guess stopping before the last five minutes simply saves you the hope that it'll pull a good ending out of the fire, because it won't.

And let's be real: The more you hate Bai Youning and her romance with Lu Yao, the more you'll hate the ending. (Not that liking those elements will necessarily make you like the ending, of course, because I'm a fan of hers and I still think the ending is butts.) The ending is already like a pair of uncomfortable shoes; if the het romance especially makes you grind your teeth, the ending becomes a pair of uncomfortable shoes that also have a rock in them. A lot of the comments online indicate plenty of people dropped the show when they learned the het romance would be endgame. It's a pretty common dealbreaker.

Oh well. Bring on the fanfic, I say! Those of us who are used to taking a sledgehammer to canon are unafraid.

Smash it, baby.

Still want to see some of these mysteries?

Both iQiyi and Viki have the answer to your sleuthing!

It's not a perfect show -- as evidenced by my digression about the ending -- but it's a lot of fun. If you can handle the occasional foible and some eyebrow-raising moments, you're in for a good time with some attractive people that occasionally tastes very gay.

Every roommate crazy 'bout a sharp-dressed man

#my roommate is a detective #民国奇探 #rec post #i made this

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hopelesslyromanticgay · 10 months

Text

An Americano Please Part 4

Word count: 1819 A/N: pretty dialogue heavy chapter. No huge TW's as far as I can tell

Y/N's POV

11 AM rolls around and I'm standing in front of Jenna's apartment complex, anxiously tapping my foot on the ground.

It's a nice day today, not a lot of clouds, which is rare for Autumn here.

"Morning," a familiar voice says. I look up to see Jenna smiling at me, her long black hair swaying with the slight breeze.

"Hey, how'd ya sleep?" I ask.

"Pretty good, I was really tired," she tells me, pushing her bangs out of her eyes.

"Yeah, working a much as you seem to tends to have that effect," I chuckle.

"I guess it does, but it's not like I can just stop working," she reminds me.

"I get that, everyone needs a job in this day and age," I agree.

"You- you have a leaf in your hair," she giggles.

"I do?" I ask, feeling around my scalp to try and find it.

"Here, let me just..." she gets up on her tip-toes and pulls the leaf from my hair. I find it impossible to conceal my obvious blush.

"All good?" I ask.

"Yep," she smiles.

"Shall we walk?"

"Lead the way."

We start to walk down the street, quiet at first. Neither of us really know what to say.

"So how come you speak English?" Jenna asks out of the blue.

"Oh, I grew up in an English speaking country, but my parents read in some magazine that raising children bilingually makes them smarter. Turns out they happened to know Romanian, so I kinda just grew up speaking both languages," I explain.

"I see," she replies.

"They were wrong, by the way."

"Huh?" she inquires.

"It didn't make me smarter, just a more valuable asset to cafe staffs," I joke.

"Ok, that makes sense," she giggles, "so why'd you come here?"

"Who knows, maybe it was to cover up an elaborate crime," I say blankly, "do you speak any other languages?"

"No, just English, but I know a really small amount of Spanish," she confirms, "but I have to know more. Did you murder someone? Am I your next victim?"

"No don't worry," I laugh, "I wouldn't do that to anyone."

We walk a little more in silence, with me pointing out little landmarks as we go.

"That's Casa Zuzulache (this is literly a real place I found it on snapmap) it's an old motel, for some reason it shows up as a night club on a lot of maps though. Confuses a lot of tourists," I chuckle.

"Yeah, I can imagine," she laughs along, "like, you walk into what you think will be the time of your life and all you see is a tired old person behind a desk!"

We laugh as we continue to walk, I don't know when it started, but at some point, she had slipped her hand into mine, and hadn't moved it since. Normally when someone I like does this, I feel an anxious sort of butterflies, but this. This just feels... right.

"There's Freya House, it's also a hotel, but it has a decent restaurant. Apparently the soup is bad, but most things I've had there are pretty good."

"Good to know. I haven't gone out to eat much since I've been here. Most places can't accommodate vegans," she says.

"Oh you're vegan!" I exclaim, "no wonder you kept ordering oat milk. I just thought you were really gay!"

She bursts out laughing, "I'm probably some for of gay, but yeah. I'm a vegan." Okay, so by that logic I probably have a chance with her.

"Where do you film?" I ask, "I could give you some nearby food recommendations."

"That'd be great!" she smiles, "I film at Cantacuzino Castle!"

"Dang," I tell her, "that's pretty cool. It's so beautiful there! As for restaurants:If you have cash to spend, I recommend Canta Cuisine. It's a really nice restaurant. Really plays into the whole 'castle' vibe."

"Ooh cool, you'll have to take me," she grins.

"Bold of you to assume I have the money, haha!" I laugh

"Anywhere else?"

"There's a pretty good pizza place called Eidolon that I'm sure has vegan options."

"If they have fake cheese, I'll go," she laughs, "so what do you like to do around here?"

"My friend Nessa and I like to go to Eidolon every other Friday," I start, "there's not a whole lot to do around here. A lot of the time I just watch TV, feed my betta, work, and go for walks."

"Oh my gosh, you have a betta?" she asks.

"Yeah, her name's cupid!"

"Can I meet her?"

"Sure, I'll take you by my place in a bit if you want," I offer.

"I'd like nothing more," she smiles, "so where are we going right now?"

"You'll see," I reply mysteriously.

"Oh my god you really are gonna murder me, aren't you," she laughs, her eyes lighting up.

"Now why would I murder someone as gorgeous and charismatic as yourself?" I smirk.

"You think I'm gorgeous?" she raises an eyebrow.

"Uhh, yeah. Have you seen yourself?"

"No, I'm a vampire and can't see my reflection," she deadpans.

"Very funny," I respond matching her deadpan, "I don't think you meet the height requirement for vampires though." I reach down to pat her head.

She pouts, letting go of my hand and playfully shoving me, "hey! that's not fair!"

"Okay, I'm sorry," I fake offense.

"You better be." We continue to walk in a comfortable silence until we get to where I want to show her.

It's about thirty minutes of walking, and the block before we get there, I playfully cover her eyes.

"What's going on?" she inquires hesitantly.

"I don't wanna spoil the surprise!" I reply innocently.

"Okay then." We continue to walk the last block before I finally uncover her eyes.

"Behold," I start to say, "the only English bookstore in Busteni Romania!"

"Oh my god, you're the most amazing human being I have ever met!" she exclaims, practically dragging me through the door.

"You said you liked to read so I assumed this would be fun for you," I tell her.

"Are you kidding? This is the best place ever!" she rushes over to the nearest shelf like a kid in a candy store. I knew this would be a good idea. Her adorable smile tells me just how thrilled she is.

"You're my new favorite person!" she announces. I feel a deep blush creeping up my face.

Jenna frantically searches the shelves, taking a book here and there, but mostly just looking, "I'm gonna come here any chance I get!"

"Mind if I join you from time to time?"

"Only if you bring me coffee," she giggles, she has the cutest laugh, "just kidding, you can join me anytime."

"I just might take you up on that offer." Now it's her turn to blush.

We stay in the bookstore for about an hour, looking at practically every shelf. By the end, we have more books than we can possibly count.

"Today was really fun, thank you," Jenna smiles, taking my hand in hers.

"Of course, and hey, now you know Busteni a little more!"

"So, are we going to your place or what?" she asks.

"Okay, okay," I laugh, "let's go."

It's not more than a five minute walk from the bookstore to my apartment, which is really nice.

We spent most of the walk in a comfortable silence, enjoying each other's company.

"Ladies first," I joke, holding the door to the complex for her as we walk inside.

"Woooow, how chivalrous," she laughs along, "cool building."

"Thanks, I guess."

We walk up the painfully steep stairwell to my apartment, Jenna insisted on not taking the elevator, so stairs were the only other option.

"Here's my place," I tell her, unlocking the door. My apartment's not huge, but it's not tiny either. It's a one bedroom with a nicely sized kitchen, perfect for me.

"Wow nice kitchen!" she exclaims, "I should have known you'd have your own espresso machine."

"What can I say, I love my job," I joke, "nah this thing's ancient, but it works great."

"You have a cool place. My apartment doesn't feel like a home yet, more like a hotel room," she confesses.

"Well maybe it's because you haven't made it yours yet," I suggest, "why don't you try decorate it more to your tastes? That is, unless you already have."

"No, I'm barely unpacked, I've hardly lived here for a month."

"Well if you ever need a hand unpacking, give me a call," I smile.

"Okay, I'll take you up on that offer. Now where's this betta fish you were telling me about?"

"Cupid's over here," I guide her towards my bedroom.

"Damn, taking me to bed already. This is moving pretty fast," she laughs.

"Get your mind out of the gutter!" I blush, "Cupid's just in my room." I open the door so she can see the tank.

"Oh my god she's amazing. I used to have a one," she says.

"What happened to yours?" I inquire.

"He jumped out of the tank and suffocated," she says sadly.

"I'm so sorry, that's terrible," I reply, squeezing her hand.

"Probably my first heartbreak," she laughs.

"So what do you wanna do?" I ask.

"I don't know," she admits, "do you want to watch a movie?"

"Sure!" I say, "what are your thoughts on horror?"

"I love horror! You know I've actually been in a few horror movies?"

"That's sick!" I exclaim, "which ones?"

"The new scream, which has yet to come out, and another one called 'X,'" she tells me.

"Scream's a great franchise, it's so cool that you got to be part of it," I compliment her, "I'll try to watch those movies when they come out for sure."

"Oh my god don't," she grimaces, "it's so embarrassing."

"Okay, I just won't tell you if I do," I smirk.

"What were you thinking of watching right now?" she changes the subject.

"There's a new trilogy out called Fear Street if you'd be interested in that? The first takes place in the nineties apparently."

"Sounds fun. I love nineties and eighties music," she confesses.

So that's how we spend our evening, watching the whole entire amazing trilogy.

.... a few hours later ....

"It's getting late, will you walk me home?" she asks.

"Of course," I respond, helping her up from the couch.

We walk home avidly discussing what we had just watched.

"And that reveal with Sarah? Incredible!" she exclaims, "no one would have seen that coming!"

"Exactly! Like, everything you had seen up to that point was just the opposite of what was actually true," I agree.

"Okay but Deena's music taste is phenomenal," Jenna adds, "like it's just so..." she tries to explain the concept but there's really no words to exclaim how good the first movie's soundtrack was.

"And the Cindy and Alice sidestory?" I bring up, "like, so realistic, so queer coded, all around amazing."

"Yeah the representation of so many groups was really well done," she concludes.

"Well, this is my place," she says when we get to her apartment. I wish today would never end.

"Thank you for today, Y/N," she smiles, "I had such a good time, and you made it really special." She gets up on her tip-toes to kiss my cheek. We both stare at each other blushing.

"Good night, Jenna," I squeeze her hand, "It was nice getting to know you."

"I'll stop by the shop for coffee tomorrow, pretty girl," she winks, walking off into the building.

Today was a great day.

Here's some Jenna photos to fuel your brain!!!

#jenna ortega x reader #jenna ortega #tara carpenter #wednesday addams #jenna ortega x fem!reader #i love jenna ortega #jenna ortega x you #reader insert #cute #vada cavell #jenna ortega fluff #jenna ortega cute #fluffy fanfic #fanfic #meet cute #first date #wednesday addams x reader #an americano please

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mari-lair · 5 months

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I love that zombie extra! I believe Teru didn't take Kou seriously, much less understood what Kou had tried to imply, since his answer wasn't related to the idea of them losing their humanity, jumping straight into the destruction of humankind.

The shrine joke also had the destruction of humankind as his main point.

I believe in both cases he is only half joking: He won't kill anyone, we never see him injure other humans, much less display killing intent towards them, there is a reason the school sees him as a kind boy, (Akane is a special case, I talk about why he is a dick to Akane: Here), but part of Teru genuinely wants humanity to cease to exist.

Even the characters seem to sense this isn't fully a joke.

Teru's reaction to Kou's question was "Eh?- in that case", not taking his eyes off the movie, so he is more focused on the movie than Kou and his question, but Kou had gone "You can't do that..." and looked away from the movie, acting like it was a confession instead of a joke. Akane and priest Kunishige also did not like the vibes Teru was giving, unable to dismiss his words as merely dark humor.

The context in which Teru joked is important too. At the shrine, he jokes after the idea of cutting ties with the shrine, essentially quitting his job, is brought up

This job basically fucked up his life since he was 8, making it impossible for him to be normal. Even free time was scarce, so I am very inclined to say part of him resents it.

'The right and heroic thing to do' is something that doesn't come naturally to Teru, but he consistently has to go out of his way to choose to do it, doing his job for years.

Out of all his duties as an exorcist, he only one he seems to connect with is slaying supernaturals. The most destructive and instinct-related part of the job is the one he claims to be "cut out for".

It doesn't seem 'fun', Teru even sighs when he shares that he is good at killing spirits. But he doesn't hate it. That's something.

In the zombie extra, he makes this 'joke' while he is having fun with his family, seeing fictional people be destroyed. He has been struggling to dutifully play the role of the "hero that destroys monsters" every day so he can't find escapism on the idea of slaying zombies.

Destroying everything for destruction sake's, with no obligation or honor behind it seems far more fun.

And doing it with Kou? That would be nice.

Now, let's go over his reaction to Kou bringing up the idea of being a supernatural.

This isn't a movie. This is his little bro, the main motivation he has for slaying supernaturals despite not being something he personally like spitting in his face by asking "What if I threw all your efforts away? What if your determination was for nothing?"

Kou being a supernatural would be a big defeat to Teru, not a fun idea he wants to join in, so I don't think Teru would be a supernatural too if Kou became one.

...We have no solid panels that indicate what his reaction could be, but I headcanon it would make him quit his job and try to either protect supernatural Kou or make him move on peacefully.

(perhaps even try to gain the courage to exorcise him? I am not sure about this one, but since Teru seems to pity supernaturals, claiming it's 'hard to look' at their desperate attempts to linger to the Near Shore, and most supernaturals treat being exorcised by a loved one as a good thing, he may do it if Kou asks??)

#tbhk #toilet bound hanako kun #kou minamoto #teru minamoto #jshk #jibaku shounen hanako kun #minamoto teru #i'll try to answer 3 asks today let's see if i can #character analysis

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rdbrainz · 8 months

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Hi there! If you're still accepting Bleach requests, may I see your headcannons based on the Bleach Jet art of the Espadas and Quincies in delinquent school uniforms (specifically Grimmjow, Nnoitra, and Bazz-B)? That official art just gave me major brain worms, and I really like your art and headcannons >.< Also, do you happen to have a Ko-fi/patreon to send donations to?

ACTUALLY funny enough I've been thinking about this art a lot myself lmao so I do have some headcanons! as for my ko-fi or patreon.. like I said before transferring money out of them is impossible where I am right now but I made a boosty acc (I'll link it in my bio)

First I wanna add that I just can't see Stark as a high schooler x). He has the vibe of a teacher who somehow ended up with the worst classes in school despite his formidable reputation. Though maybe he was a delinquent himself in the past so he knows how to deal with these little shits. He also has a soft spot for them so as strict as this man can be he cuts them a lot of slack. Like for example I'm sure Nnoitra would smoke in this AU so I think the first day Stark started working with them they met on the rooftop on the lunch break while Gilga was smoking and instead of scolding him Stark just asked for a cig. Nnoitra almost shit himself. I'm also sure he would ask his class to look after his daughter Lilynette so she won't get into any trouble with that attitude of hers. She's probably in middle school or a couple of years younger than them so yeah... the lil sis of the group...

Despite the differences and constant bickering Nnoitra and Grimmjow are basically attached at the hip. I can see them being childhood frenemies actually. Ulquiorra and Szayel are also somewhere in their orbit of course but these two are the worst duo to stumble upon. Very notorious

Ulquiorra is obviously the class president given the armband. He tries his best to mediate the conflicts between his classmates or make them behave better but it's all in vain. Mostly. Some days he's just not in the mood to be responsible and reasonable when dealing with all the bullshit. When trying to bring delinquents to reason you have to be either very respected among them or more fierce than them and Ulquiorra certainly lacks the authority because of his character and swaglessness. He's very scary when mad however. Everybody knows this by now but they just keep trying their fate. Like I'm telling you once he unbuttons his gakuran it's so fucking over

Unlike Grimmjow Nnoitra is actually bothered with his grades enough to try and work for them and/or study (not all the time of course what do you think he's a loser or something?) It includes scaring people into doing his homework, snatching papers out of Ulquiorra's hands right before the class starts (he's used to it so he carries around two sets of hw) or if he REALLY needs to pass an exam he goes to Szayel, the class smartass. The latter is literally equivalent to dying and going through hell to him because he has to abandon all his pride. If you have a shit ton of money you always can try and ask Szayel to help you. Sure. A little bit of humiliation and you actually know the subject. However when it comes to Nnoitra the freak won't let him breathe because: 1) he doesn't need his money, Nnoitra has plenty and it's already stolen anyway so what's the fun? 2) asking a fellow delinquent you have a beef with for help has different means of payment 3) he just really wants to fuck with this guy's head since he thinks Nnoitra is a curious fella. Gilga is well aware of all of this and he's well aware that Szayel will make him polish his boots with his tongue before even considering helping him with acquiring the forbidden chemistry knowledge. So he has to really work for it whether it's a fistfight or running errands for Szayelaporro. It's a good thing Grantz stays true to his word

Grimmjow has a well-accessorized uniform thanks to Nnoitra but his casual clothing is hilariously uncool. I'm convinced this guy has zero taste both in clothing and prints/patterns because he couldn't care less about what other people think is considered fashionable when all he needs personally is functionality and comfort. He knows how to rock a good hairstyle though but if he wants to wear flip-flops outside then so be it

Nnoitra spends all the money he gets on new accessories and CDs (and maybe sometimes porno magazines) for which he constantly gets picked on. If it's someone not from his immediate friend circle then it's not even worth thinking about - left, right, goodnight. As if he's gonna let anyone get too fucking cheeky with him. He's infamous for being called slurs and then bashing the person's head in for this every week because he wears heels and had to endure children being mean to him because of his eye in kindergarten and primary school so it's no big deal really. But if it's Grimmjow then it's a fucking word battle to death he just can't let it slide. Jaegerjaquez really thinks Nnoitra is gonna get strangled by one of his necklaces one of those days but whatever. It's up to him. His music taste however... Now that's something they quarrel about all the time. "I mean I'm not saying anything! Sure you can buy new TOOL CDs all you want.. cough cough... fucking loser.. cough"

Bazz-B was hell-bent on making friends with Grimmjow because he genuinely thinks this guy is awesome. Look at his laid-back attitude and vicious ways! His blue hair, his style! Ohhh, to be like him!!! Jaegerjaquez on the other hand was not very impressed with how annoying Bazz could get with his neverending attempts of talking to him. Too energetic and loud for his liking. He already has Nnoitra and his big fat mouth he constantly runs all he wants so another talkative guy next to him would be too much for his everyday life. He would literally tell him to fuck off and threaten him with a beating of his life but unfortunately it got Bazz even more fired up. Damn weirdo. And a major pain in the ass. They did find a common ground in the end though and it's... A motorcycle that Bazz owns. Bazzard suggested they could take a ride together as a last resort and it was all it took to buy Grimm. Imagine the most excited person you've ever met and they still won't be as excited as Grimmjow was at that moment. Instant fucking boner! "Dibs on driving though" "Deal!" Grimmjow was surprised to reveal that Bazz-B is actually fun to be around and not as annoying as he initially thought he was. Nnoitra made a joke about them having a date the next day though

I think here Bazz-B suffers the same fate as Sakuragi Hanamichi in the beginning of Slam Dunk which is constantly trying to get girls on a date but being brutally rejected each time lmao 😭It's not like he is a bad-looking guy no it's actually the opposite but his personality and hot-headedness are too much to bear for girls he's going after

Askin is a great negotiator and he knows his way around with words but other than that he sucks. He's not a bad guy, just chronically fucking uncool and has to hide behind other people's backs because of mediocre fighting abilities. He also gets in all kinds of stupid situations because he just can't keep his thoughts to himself sometimes which is a bad asset to his cheesiness

Äs Nödt is also not very good at fighting but he's more useful than Askin lol. A smartass and a menace who is talented at collecting data and black-mail on people by eavesdropping and other means. He's the one who proposes the most out-of-pocket ways of taking revenge on other gangs or teaching someone a lesson so you better be careful with him

I hope I'll make more art of this later cuz I'm a bit burnt out rn

#bleach #nnoitra gilga #grimmjow jaegerjaquez #ulquiorra cifer #szayelaporro granz #bazz b #bazz-b #askin nakk le vaar #as nodt

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bettsfic · 7 months

Note

hi betts!

i’ve been a fan of yours for years now (training wheels is one of my favorite stories— not just fics. stories— ever, and i really admire your style. as a writer myself, i want to ask how you’re able to keep your motivation up to complete your projects? i feel like i start out so motivated when i fall in love with an idea, but once that fevered haze fades, it’s almost impossible for me to get the motivation i need to write. i have a few wips that i feel so guilty about not finishing/not wanting to finish/wanting to finish but being unable to get the inspiration to. so, in short, how do you maintain the motivation to finish your wips?

thank you so much! i'm glad to hear it; training wheels is still very dear to me.

first, if you want a step by step guide to finishing your wips, i wrote a tutorial earlier this year in my newsletter.

also as i've said elsewhere, i believe it's more important to follow your inspiration and interest where it takes you even if it means not finishing things. one of the reasons i love fanfic is because it's the only genre i can think of where you get to read unfinished works and be present during the writing of them.

but you asked about *my* motivation to finish things, and i'll say it's taken me a long time to build the endurance necessary not only to complete big projects but also complete them to my satisfaction. in my experience, the better you are at finishing things, the worse you become at starting them, and so whereas i used to have a million wips and ideas happening at once, now i can see the ridiculous endeavor ahead of me and pick my battles more knowledgeably.

also, i don't finish everything, especially not right away. sometimes i sit years on a story before i eventually come back to it. but i've found that it's inevitable that when i put something down that i care about, i'll come back around to it when i'm ready. it's not something i have to force. my attention and interest bounces around all over the place but the things i love, i love forever. so i'll always come back around to them.

most importantly--and this is really very important--i lie to myself.

here are the two main lies i tell myself:

"this is the best thing i've ever written," and

"i'm almost done."

being a little delusional is a huge benefit as a writer. if you're too honest with yourself nothing can get done. but i've always had a natural talent for convincing myself of things that aren't true and although that's gotten me in a lot of trouble in all other aspects of my life, in writing it keeps me just far enough away from reality that i can finish things.

the process is something like this:

vague story idea!

will probably be very small, the shortest story i have ever written in fact

begin writing

feels good, feels organic

no no that's not right, bad vibes

start over

ohhh i see what i'm trying to do

outline the tiniest, easiest outline i have ever made. five bullet points. this happens, and then this and this, and the story ends. EASY

will finish by tomorrow, probably

write write write

will finish by tomorrow, probably

write write write

definitely tomorrow, almost done

check word count. 25k. uh oh

doesn't matter, almost done. have *checks* four out of five bullet points to go

write write write

five point bullet outline no longer effective

re-outline. five points turns into five pages. uh oh

check word count. 60k. big yikes

but! almost done! will finish tomorrow, probably

write write write

get stuck? how? but the outline...

the outline is ineffective. re-outline.

check word count. 100k. :(

almost done :)

a plot knot arises. spend six hours staring at a wall to undo the plot knot

plot knot is more insidious than expected. open new document. start over

*now* i'm almost done

rewrite, restructure, reorganize

check word count. 20k. :(

write write write

check word count. 200k. :((

weeks-long fugue state during which i am god

awaken to filthy apartment. i have not eaten a vegetable in many days. i have not seen the sun.

eat a broccoli

go outside

am i living? am i truly living? is this all life is? am i loved? am i worth loving?

return to safety of fictional world to avoid existential despair

write write write

will finish by tomorrow, probably

so it's really less about motivation to finish and more about motivation to chase down an increasingly elusive feeling of joy through immersion into worlds of my own making and control. it's way easier to run away from something than toward it.

#writing advice #motivation #process #listen i'm not saying i have a healthy relationship with writing #if you can do it healthier than i do that's what i recommend

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galene-gothic · 2 years

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Your charm

☆ 🖇️ 𖥻 ＜꒱ PAID SERVICES

Pile 1

You seem to have something very delicate looking about you. I feel like people lose their sleep due to you. You are especially attractive to people who seem to be a bit colder and unattainable? People who seem to have things under control are the type that you tend to attract. Your ability to put heartless effort into things or people is really attractive for some reason. You might be a charmer who has no feelings for someone but still flirts with them, might be unintentional too. You might put effort into people like f-boys, f-girls, players or just emotionally unavailable people, people who tend to be unaffected by other people's affection seem to get attached to you and try to change for the better. You might also be the type to not pay much mind to people that like you while still being polite, respectful and grateful but still overwhelming them with charm? However, if you have/had a love interest that you were chasing, people think you act really different when you like someone. Are you the type to enter a lot of situationships or talking stages? Or if not many then just significant ones? You also seem to be a problem solver. Others will give up on something saying "that's impossible" but you make it possible. You also seem to be very witty and original. You have the ability to change people's minds, stop fights, etc. You might come as either good or bad karma to people depending on the karma that they've accumulated. You seem to have a fair perspective and try to influence others to be a bit fair regarding their approach in life as well. I think you should try to be in touch with your heart and make choices with your emotion more often. You seem to be that cold person who is actually just an affectionate fluff ball once you get close enough. You might be undergoing a period of change right now.

Pile 2

You seem to be the type who's not afraid to disagree. You also seem to be very competitive. I'm not sure but you seem be going through some sort of pain in the eyes of others. You come off to be the type who's been backstabbed in the past and that's a part of your charm. You also are the type to take action even if it's not well catered. You might make rash decisions and I'm not sure but somehow you still manage to reap the benefits out of the situation? You don't like faking, do you? You probably know how to accept your flaws and faults. You seem to be really honest to yourself. Damn, you're the literal epitome of the villain who's really misunderstood but loved by the general public. Self mobilized isolation might be a thing for you. People might be scared of accepting their feelings for you in case you reject them harshly or hurt them😭 people seem to be scared of you in general though. I'm getting you being a rose, you're so pretty but your thorns prick but people's love for you is so much, they are willing to become a slave to your thorns.

Pile 3

Physically attractive, you also look really good with orange-ish lighting (ykwim?-), you also seem to look really good in the dark (I mean not completely dark.) People tend to romanticize you a lot and make scenarios in their heads while listening to music especially love songs, I am getting them pretending you wrote those songs for them. If you're still at school, people from school might find you want attractive. Your charm seems to lie in the way you carry yourself. I'm getting you having drawn visuals, like webtoons, anime, etc. I'm getting the 'sun-moon' trope relationship here for some reason. You also seem to be really well mannered and well spoken, people wish to listen to you speak. I'm getting the whole 'unloved people being loved suddenly vibes' from you. You might be oblivious to the fact that there are many people who like you or maybe you know but just don't acknowledge it. Your ability to create opportunities out of thin air is really attractive to others. Also, your ability to stay true to yourself but unlike pile 2, I feel like you do have a calmer aura that you maintain. You know how to control your desires and act very responsibly when needed. Some of you might avoid revealing certain parts of your body. You know how to turn impulse into determination. You seem to have a very strong personal character. Your emotional depth is something that many value. I'm certain that things are changing positively for you right now.

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callmearcturus · 10 months

Text

Fan Commentary Double Feature: MI3 and MI: Ghost Protocol

We did it. @interropunct and I have recorded 2 of the 6 threatened commentaries, in which we watch the Mission Impossible movies and talk over them in a way that will provide you all with a simulacrum of how insufferable we are to be in a voice chat with.

We have started with Fan Commentary: Haterade Edition and paired it with Fan Commentary: Stan Mode Edition by doing MI3 and Ghost Protocol as a double feature.

You'll want to hit play on your legal copy of MI3 at 2:58 into the commentary. This commentary includes:

Effusive love of Ethan Hunt, Autistic SuperSpy

Arc definitely not being in a kismesissitude with JJ Abrams

Punct trying to determine when the Maggie Q and Jonathan Rhys Myers' characters actually get named in dialogue in the movie

Thorough discussion of the underutilized kink potential of this movie

"Humpty dumpty sat on the wall" "(SCREAMS OF DISMAY AND AGONY)"

The gloriousness of Ethan Hunt doing physics equations on a window with chalk

The five stages of grief in audio form

The vibes are MST3k and jokes galore and fawning over Ethan Hunt, our babygirl.

However, if you don't need no holleration, hateration in this dancery, proceed directly to the Ghost Protocol commentary and hit play on your legal copy of Mission Impossible Ghost Protocol at 2:47. This commentary includes:

Punct accidentally admitting they find Tom Cruise hot on a live mic

"That's my theory, I think prison turned Ethan from a cat into a dog."

SO MANY BEHIND THE SCENES FACTS ABOUT THE MAKING OF THIS MASTERPIECE

"You know when you think about it, Cascade was the turning point in Homestuck in the same way the Burj Khalifa sequence was--"

Fawning over how small and cute Jeremy Renner is

Discussion of MILF Mode Ethan Hunt

McQuarrie's Actually Very Reasonable Explanation Of Why Hendricks Was Disguised As Wistrom At The Burj, And Goddammit He's Right

"You know what this means?" "You have to watch Teen Wolf now." "No. Fuck you. We have to watch more Tom Cruise movies and compare." "That's true, we do." "No, wait, we just have to go ask @malewifebillcage for a comparative history of Tom Cruise's chest hair."

The vibes are jubilant. We love this fucking movie.

NEXT UP: The double feature of MI2 (the worst movie on a technical level) and MI: Fallout (the best movie on a technical level)

Also I am currently putting copies of this commentary on youtube, check the reblogs later for that.

#mission impossible #mission impossible fun facts #ethan hunt #my fic #(well not really but for organizational purposes)#we worked really hard on this okay pls clap etc

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onejellyfishplease · 7 months

Note

Jelly, help, I’m already letting this au consume me LOL

K so translating my notes(cause my writing sucks) and then a breakdown of each doodle. This is just some ‘testing the waters’ doodles to see what ideas I like and what I don’t.

This isn’t actually finished yet, but I ended up loving the Sketchpage that I wanted to show, so here we are lol

“Lantern/light clan cult gang thing, tried to get Donnie to join by sending an oozesquito after him.”

So yeah, there’s a gang of moths that worship light and they wanted somebody smart in their ranks. They wanted Donnie to join because he was known all over the hidden city for his intelligence during the krang invasion. They uhh… They kinda kidnap him during a mission ig lol. He escapes but not before getting turned partially into a moth. They weren’t really as smart so they didn’t even think that maybe the mutation would only take partial transformation so uhhh mission failed-

“Tiny hairs as per many insects”

I liked your idea of the hairs that allow Donnie’s hands to stick to stuff, so it was kind of a no brainer to add that here too, since moths stick to stuff all the time.

“Common Crimson & Gold Moth (an attempt at keeping sorta purple colors)”

Yeah no, it’s more red and gold than anything but dang these things are pretty. Could be a nice design.

“Luna Moth (mostly here for the green, but an iconic moth too)”

Yeah, I wanted a nice green match for the wings as a potential option too, and I also figured when you think of moths, a lot of people think of Luna moths.

“White Ermine Moth (fluffy Dalmatian vibes)”

Kinda thrown in for the recognizable reason again, since a lot of people tend to think immediately of fluffy snowy white moths like white ermine moths or poodle moths.

I kinda like the first two a bit better tho, ngl.

“Eyes go black when pissed or scared?”

Yeah, so, I had an idea where his eyes would invert so his eyes were black with white pupils, but I kinda dropped that idea, but then I picked it up again and thought maybe his eyes look more moth-like when really stressed or enraged or smth?

“So meticulous but I love the detail ngl…”

“Mini moth man”

So yeah, I learned I liked the more meticulous antenna style. Also yeah, even if I don’t use it I’m totally making a Mothman version of him lol

“Smth like this ig??”

Me trying to figure out the wings and she’ll mix. I had the idea that the wings would sprout out from inside, sorta like your idea ngl, but I think it’d be less like… Under, and more through, so the wings would kind of be impossible to hide at that point.

“Donnie Day 1

‘Everything’s fine ✨’

‘W a t ?’”

“Donnie Day 5

‘isaideverythingsfine~’

‘Wat.’”

A stupid silly comic I made for an idea I had where Donnie starts out kinda like a moth caterpillar, looking and feeling normal, but the more days that go by the bigger his wings and antenna grow, becoming impossibly to hide, and he just can’t really pretend that he’s a full turtle anymore lol

Also definitely not motivated by me wanting to implement an idea about how apparently the reasons you get holes in your clothes is because caterpillars are eating through it (and not fully grown moths usually) so maybe he’d be hoodie biting excessively during that time lol

I have a few more snippets only written on Google docs right now but gosh I am loving this au, I totally see the fun of formation swapping Donnie now LOL

Eventually, all the important info will be on one sheet though (hopefully) and I’ll tag you then about it lol

OMG i actually love this so much!

i love how the transformation is a slow one.

And he eats his clothes as a nervous habit??? love it. glorius. amazing.

Also the eyes going black? that would be so creepy to see, it would definitely terrify villians. and his brothers (the first few times lol)

AND HES FLUFFY AHHHHH

#also i love the cult bit at the beginning #how they wanna capture donnie and make him #one of us one of us one of us #but arent really competant enough to do so lol #rottmnt #rottmnt au #moth donnie au #??#idk what u want to call it #rottmnt donnie #asks

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rosyandraw · 10 months

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Hi I love you. I’ve been carefully waiting for you to update 🤍 but also I do have a question! I noticed that you made Damen a Scorpio, and Laurent a Taurus in NMFY. Was this intentional? Because I saw on capri twt someone made a timeline to show Damen & Lauren’s 6 year age gap, and their most likely birthday. And Damen being a Scorpio and Laurent being a Taurus totally fits 😭🤍 In case it was totally intentional and you wrote it based on the books, you’re absolutely brilliant and I love you more. I wanted to know whether you’re into zodiac and have opinion to their zodiac compatibility pairing

I LOVE THIS AND I LOVE YOU FOR ASKING (also I just updated when I said I was going to lmao, for once!)

Sorry my answer is so long. But here is my essay on Scorpio Damen and Scorpio/Taurus compatibility.

I haven't seen the timeline, so I did it based on the books and then my own opinion of their characters. I'm really into astrology. I'm into spiritualism too and I'm an eclectic neopagan (not that you asked lmao)

Laurent is late spring, so can only really be a Taurus or a Gemini based on the information we're given in the books. And I think Taurus is more Laurent's vibe.

We know they're 20 and 25 during the books which kicks off around June time but by Marlas, which would have been early spring/March Damen was already 19 and Laurent was approaching 14. So Damen's birthday has to be later than September as the books only span 3 months (being generous) but before Spring (battle at marlas).

Then it was just a matter of deciding what I felt vibed best with what we know of them. I toyed with a few for Damen but none of them felt right -Capricorn, Sag, Libra- they just don't fit him very well.

I think Damen fits a Scorpio for so many reasons, mostly because they're incredibly deep but don't really show it. They're charismatic people quite naturally but they can also be ruthless. They're also -like Taurus- extremely loyal.

Scorpio people feel very deeply, they can be great leaders, resourceful, passionate when something is important to them, they love challenges and tend to be fucking fearless when they see obstacles.

You’re probably thinking "but Scorpios are manipulators" and yes. They can be and I would argue that Damen isn’t the kind of person that manipulates on purpose but, as with most scorpio’s, he is charming when he wants to be and often charming people don’t recognise their influence on the people around them. He is also smart and strategic and his manner of looking at things coupled with a natural charisma often influences situations and the people around him without him purposefully thinking let me manipulate this. Manipulation doesn’t always equal sneaky, sometimes it references a natural sway and I think Scorpio is often this kind of person. Especially because they are almost always confident they are right and confidence is everything when you’re influencing a situation or person, whether you know it or not.

Scorpio is often calm and collected. They feel deeply but don’t show it the way you associate with the other water signs. They can be violent when pushed and can be relentless with it, whether it’s a physical fight, a slanging match, or a cause they believe in Scorpio is IMPOSSIBLE to fight with. They keep their heads, they aren’t prone to lashing out or to displays of emotion but they can and will absolutely ruin you if you get them there. If they were a sin I’d say it might be Pride.

We know from Canon Damen is very cool and collected in high stress situations. He compartmentalises to a fault, he doesn’t EVER let his situation get the better of him in terms of his emotions. I am talking explicitly about his ability to keep his shit together when in fight or flight and his decision making ability in high stress situations. And of course his penchant for not letting himself feel the horror and sadness of everything that has happened: Kastor, Jokaste, his dad dying, being stabbed by his brother, the post, Ancel etc.

He feels it very deeply but he doesn’t let it show, he doesn’t let it rule him and he doesn’t acknowledge it pretty much all the way through the books.

Scorpio is deeply self aware (not always emotionally) and there isn’t a single instance in the book where Damen doubts himself. Not even in chains. He doesn’t even really doubt Laurent even when Laurent throws test after test at him. There’s a loyalty and surety there.

In terms of sex and romance scorpio is the sign of sexuality which matches nice with Taurus because they are the sign of sensuality. We know Damen’s only two outlets in terms of his emotions are fighting and fucking. He is a deeply DEEPLY sexual person and he has so much passion in him that he literally walks into the lions den with an I love you and some big fucking balls. Like??? Who else but a scorpio would have the AUDACITY to do that shit?

Prone to one-night stands and expression through their bodies Scorpios will only truly be satisfied when they find the ONE which again -so is Taurus. And when they do they are loyal and passionate and tend to spend their teen years and 20s being fuck-boys and hoes until they realise they want more.

Sound familiar? The second Damen fucks Laurent there is no going back for him because he’s found the person that can satisfy both his intense needs: sex and the emotional intimacy he’d been craving (but ignoring) his whole life.

When Scorpio’s find the one they want the literally merge their lives and hearts and become the power couple WE kind of people.

Intelligent, loyal, strategic, dedicated to the people they care about, they work well under pressure, are focused, resourceful and hardworking. They enjoy the chase; they are competitive and they like a little mystery in their romance. When in love they are unshakeable and loyal and passionate above all else. Their kind of love can be too intense for most people but Taurus WANTS that security and the assurance, Taurus thrives on being the centre of someone’s world and no other zodiac sign will do it quite as well as Scorpio

Taurus and Scorpio have a lot of sexual energy between them and natural compatibility. So I think it makes a lot of sense, Laurent and Damen's chemistry on page is stellar and it is INSTANT.

I think any time I read an enemies to lovers I assume they have birth charts that are compatible because Love and Hate are so closely aligned. Hate is such a passionate sentiment, I don't think it's possible that two people like that don't have some natal compatibility/facets that make for glorious tension.

Anyway, sorry for the ramble and thank you for this because it was so so much fun to word vomit about it haha! 💕💕

#Captive Prince #Is this meta?#Damen is a scorpio and I'll kill on this hill #This is my reasoning from my astrology loving little brain #so sorry i ramble #thank you so much for this ask btw this was so much fun haha

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irishhorse-blog · 9 months

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Our wonderful hyung line. And look at the way Hobi is standing in the picture on the right. I don't think I've ever seen him in this exact posture before. He looks like a soldier. The military has changed him a lot. (Not that it's a bad thing. It's just a thing.)

Jin too has a different vibe about him. I think all the Tannies will come back deeply changed by their experience, which is to be expected. I hope they still love each other then. I hope they still love ARMY. I know they said to trust them, and I'm trying. Honestly. As a stupid American, though, it's hard to deal with this. Conscription isn't something we have to contend with, and the involuntary loss of two years of your life/your loved one's life seems so hard to bear.

I know that the two Koreas are still at war, and I know that North Korea is a danger to pretty much everybody. I know there are good reasons for South Korea to have conscription. But just because the reasons are good, that doesn't mean that I have to love it from my perspective.

And I can already hear the people coming in to object, tsk and shame me. I know that I'm not supposed to judge another culture by my own culture's standards, and that SK life is different to US life. I am excruciatingly well aware of that. I also know that it is impossible for me to look at a situation from any perspective other than my own. This is my view from where I'm sitting. I'm not casting aspersions on South Korea or judging their culture or their way of life. I'm saying I personally, in my life and in my culture, do not like this situation at all.

So kindly keep your shaming to yourselves. I have am expressing my own emotions, couched in my own experience and my own culture - and that's the only background I can view the world from without being a complete and total liar.

I just want to say what I feel. That doesn't mean I'm judging. Please understand that.

#BTS military service #hostage situation #i'm not coping well at all

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tobiasdrake · 9 days

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The Disappearance of Nagato Yuki-chan, Episode 14 - Her Confusion

This is going to be twenty straight minutes of Kyon trying to explain the plot of the last three episodes to Yuki. The title should explain how well that will go.

OH HI THERE FACTORY SETTINGS

After mourning you last episode, I legit didn't think we'd ever see you again.

Oh. Shit. We're seeing Factory Settings's disappearance from Escapist Yuki's perspective.

Oh. Wow. I hadn't even considered that, yeah. Of course Ryoko was freaked out when Yuki, rather than going home, finished her book on a park bench and then called Kyon.

It's like 3 AM right now.

This is so bittersweet it hurts.

Factory Settings stated last episode that she wasn't going to tell Ryoko what was going to happen. She figured it'd be a burden on her, and that Ryoko'd be rooting for Escapist Yuki to come back anyway.

She wasn't entirely correct. It still hurts that Factory Settings got reassimilated like that, and you can see it in Ryoko's eyes, but at the same time, you can feel Ryoko's relief at having her friend back.

"You are in the process of involuntarily eating me. I am allowed a modicum of spite." ~Factory Settings probably

"I existed for like four days and managed to take the plunge you've been putting off all season. Have fun dealing with the fallout of that." ~Factory Settings probably

Boy, I love it when my doppelganger reveals my most deeply held secrets to the people around me and then vanishes like a magnificent poof. This is what Venom should be doing to Spider-Man.

What about the one that deleted you? Is that Nagato-san your--

Oh, wait, you stabbed Kyon to defend her without a moment's hesitation. Okay. Yeah. Hat Trick of Yuki friendships.

Still weirds me out that she sits there. I keep forgetting that Ryoko is in Haruhi's seat.

Like. She's there because the movie put her there. And the movie put her there because they wanted to maximize the WTF. It's not enough that someone else has Haruhi's seat. It's specifically the girl who tried to knife Kyon and now has a perfect shot at his back all day.

For the purposes of Disappearance's plot, this served the story well and raised tension.

...

But for an ongoing universe largely divorced from main continuity, it's weird that she sits there. Like. It's super weird, for reasons other than the Haruhi thing. Because she's Class President, and she's sitting in the designated Delinquent Seat. The spot that gets the least attention in class so you can get away with doing whatever, but that also has the hardest time seeing the board or getting the teacher's attention so no hard-working student would ever want it.

It made sense when Haruhi was there. She's a violent misanthrope who doesn't give a shit about class. But it's weird for Ryoko to be back there.

And technically it makes sense here too, because they didn't get to pick their seating assignments. The teacher assigned them. So Ryoko got screwed by luck of the draw, I guess. But it still. Feels. Weird. Ryoko is not the vibe for the Delinquent Seat.

At this point, I'm half-convinced that Haruhi's making it up whenever she says she told Yuki ahead of time. Yuki's neurodivergence is so strong she legit can't remember if Haruhi did or didn't, so she decides that must be true and goes along with it.

Of course, it's equally likely that Haruhi does consult her. But every time she talks, Yuki tunes her out and eagerly anticipates the moment when she can hang up and go back to her game.

In the Love Triangle, Haruhi is now in third place behind Yuki. It's mathematically impossible for this contest to even have a bronze medal and yet there it is, resting in her hands. She is not happy about it.

Oh good, we get to participate in the Tanabata theft this time around. Crime is always better when it's a group activity.

And now we know why Haruhi didn't go snatch up the bamboo tree by herself this time around. Not being God means she's subject to the whims of nature now. Fortunately, minions are an effective workaround.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Ryoko whole-ass stealing Haruhi's thunder is the worst possible thing you can do to a narcissist.

How did you even know that, Ryoko? You're smart but I would not have expected you to be the type to follow Haruhi Logic like that. You were right there with that explanation as if the Distance To Deities equation is a belief system that you share.

GODDAMMIT

Love Triangle between Yuki -> Kyon -> Factory Settings (Deceased)

Fucking called it. And I'm mad about it. And now I'm going to throw things at the next person who passes under my balcony. Empty the whole-ass bookcase right on top of them.

It's funny how Mikuru and Tsuruya being attached at the hip means Mikuru has effectively been demoted to a glorified cameo in this series. And yet the same amount of screentime and stuff to do constitutes a huge increase in importance for Tsuruya.

The end of this episode features Haruhi unpacking her feelings about John Smith and their dynamic from three now four years ago, as we are well past where the first anime ended chronologically. (I think the light novels go all the way to college though?)

To be honest, I find Haruhi's maturity here unconvincing. Her perspective is basically, "Thank you for feeding my delusions while I made the journey of growing into a reasonable and well-adjusted human being." But it doesn't sound like Haruhi. Five minutes ago she was trying to give the Tanabata Speech from the show.

Rather, it feels like the show is coming to an end and Haruhi needs a consolation prize since she's the romantic rival destined to become a loose end, so she's being abruptly gifted with character growth.

There are a few common ways of ending the triangle. One of them is for the spare to undergo last-second character growth and turn into a self-martyring cheerleader for the Official Pair, which is what this feels like. But peacefully surrendering with dignity and grace doesn't feel right for Haruhi Suzumiya. She is a sore loser. She would scorch this earth. So it comes off feeling like they're doing the trope without regard to the Individual Character.

#the melancholy of haruhi suzumiya #the disappearance of nagato yuki chan #drake watches haruhi suzumiya

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faustandfurious · 1 year

Note

I do realize the impossibility of creating a "one size fits all" list of "classics everyone must read before they die!" but if you felt like listing a few authors or books you think are basically always left off those lists in favour of some american or english book, i would be interested! i have the same complaint abt anglocentric "classics lists" but to find these books that are neither my own literary culture or English Classics, I am just sending out blind feelers

With the disclaimer that I have seen some of these books on the lists you mention (but infrequently, and often ignored in favour of mediocre Anglo literature), here are a few of my (non-Anglo, but unfortunately still very European skewing) recommendations. To be honest, these are just intended as starting points for dipping your toes in various countries' literary canon.

The Book of Disquiet - Fernando Pessoa

I'm reading this right now and it's so full of sentences I want to serve with tea and biscuits on a Sunday afternoon while watching the snowfall outside, I'm not sure how else to convey the deep sense of contentment I get from reading this.

Kin - Miljenko Jergović

Based-on-true-events family saga about Yugoslavia through the 20th century, and I'm honestly annoyed that Jergović is still relatively unknown in the English speaking world. Personally I think his collection of short stories, Sarajevo Marlboro, is even better, but Kin is more books-to-read-before-you-die material due to its scope and length.

The World of Yesterday - Stefan Zweig

Zweig is fairly consistently left off the lists, even the better ones that actually include German language authors like Goethe and Mann, which is a shame because The World of Yesterday is the memoir of a man who had a front row seat at pretty much all the important events in Europe in the first half of the 20th century. He knew Freud. He knew Rilke. He knew a guy who knew Lenin. He had opinions on everything. In addition to being beautifully written, it's such a good way of learning history through immersion.

Danton's Death - Georg Büchner

Due to personal reasons I really vibe with this. Also a must-read if you're in any way obsessed with the French Revolution.

Journey by Moonlight - Antal Szerb

Really famous in Hungary ever since its publication in 1937, but it wasn't translated into English until after 2000, which explains its relative lack of popularity outside Hungary. If I could scrub every book recommendation list clean of Harry Potter and put this there instead, I would.

Victoria - Knut Hamsun

Look, I've had tough dudes admit to me that they cried on public transport while reading this.

Kristin Lavransdatter - Sigrid Undset

Undset wrote historical fiction about medieval Norway before it was cool, but she rarely or never seems to make it onto the rec lists, which is a shame. To be fair, even in Norway her reputation seems to have suffered a bit from the fact that she converted to Catholicism, which was considered at best a bit unfashionable, at worst outright scandalous, at the time. At any rate, Kristin Lavransdatter is well worth a read.

The Makioka Sisters - Jun'ichiro Tanizaki

I feel like the vibes here are similar to Tolstoy (there's even, funnily enough, a minor character called Vronsky), and it's a very good portrait of Japanese middle class life in the 1930s. An overarching theme in Tanizaki's works is the ongoing conflict between Japanese tradition and the more westernised lifestyle adopted by the younger generation, which has the added benefit of giving a Western readers something familiar to hang on to while reading, so why Tanizaki is left out of those rec lists is honestly beyond my comprehension.

#anonymous elf #answered #book recommendations

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meme-streets · 8 months

Text

gbu playlists director's commentary

@trifoliate-undergrowth asked and now i am going to give the full track by track breakdown + general commentary because i have been waiting for someone to give me an excuse

(be warned before opening, this is long as hell)

overview

ended up making all of them 21 songs long–no particular reason for the number, it just worked out that way. i didn't originally intend for playlist times to matter, but when i realizes blondie's and tuco's could fit onto a cd, i fiddled with angel eyes's to cut down the length as well (specifically by dropping "riders on the storm" and replacing it with "people are strange"). i do definitely intend to burn these at some point; i'm thinking i'm going to start them each with the respective character's variant of the main theme and end them with the quotes i put in the descriptions. i structured blondie and tuco's by starting and ending each with a townes van zandt song. i had originally intended to do the same with angel eyes, but i couldn't find any townes songs i liked for him; i briefly considered starting and ending with the johnny cash songs instead, but i didn't like how that would've flowed, so i discarded the idea entirely. my main priority was getting things to flow musically well, but i did want certain themes in certain places.

breakdown: il buono

"where i lead me", townes van zandt: the opening verse especially. “where i lead me, i will follow / where i need me, i will call me / i’m no fool, i’ll be ready / god knows i will be / and in the meantime make a little money / and buy a little mercy.” really this is a blondie/tuco or even general gbu song, especially “or you can clench your fist, shake your head, and head to the country / i got no doubt about it, friends, that’s where they’ll find me” as tuco tracking blondie down for revenge. i felt the vibe suited blondie best.

"elements and things," tony joe white: mostly my joking reference to the clint squint with “i would, but the sun’s in my eyes.” that said, the music itself has the right vibe for him–makes me imagine him riding through the countryside–and the grandeur of it seems to suit him. “you lay back and think about things,” too.

“the changeling,” the doors: “i’ve had money, and i’ve had none, but i’ve never been so broke that i couldn’t leave town.” and also, blondie as a changeling, impossible to know or define or pin down.

“call me the breeze,” jj cale: a desert breeze, untethered, tied down to nothing? “i ain’t got me nobody, i ain’t carryin’ me no load”? that’s blondie to a tee (or he’d like it to be, anyway).

“spoonful,” willie dixon: a parallel with tuco, who has the howlin’ wolf version. “could be a spoonful of water, to save you from the desert sand / but one spoon of lead from my 45 will save you from another man.” this version strikes me as a little more romantic/sincere with the piano and dixon’s crooning vocals, and it also doesn’t mention gold like the wolf version, something i think blondie cares less about by the end.

“walk away,” tom waits: walking away, aka blondie’s favorite pastime. “i always get out of the trouble i’m in.” also, “a yellow dog knows when he has sinned” reminds me of him abandoning tuco and then being marched through the desert for it.

“secret intention,” the william loveday intention: blondie at sad hill specifically. the religious overtones of both song and scene especially. the ritual of it all. the treachery.

“dancing with mr. d,” the rolling stones: another sad hill song. it opens with “down in the graveyard where we have our tryst,” for god’s sake. playing with blondie as an otherworldly and sinister figure. “he never smiles, his mouth merely twists.” not entirely true of him, but evocative.

“calling card,” rory gallagher: “whatever you do, brother, don’t show that hurt.” i almost put this on tuco’s before ultimately switching it to blondie; he strikes me as being lonely deep down, and determined not to let on. if you like, think of it as him advising tuco.

“the spy,” the doors: “i know the words you want to hear / i know your deepest, secret fear.” finding out tuco’s secret(s). also, “a spy in the house of love” just feels right for blondie.

“fire of love,” jody reynolds: “the sun beats down with its fiery glow / knows i won’t see my love no more / i’m sorry for the things that i’ve done / forgive me dear, my only one.” the desert! also, the general idea of being burned/hurt by love strikes me as appropriate. i think it hurts him, in a way, that he loves tuco.

“waiting for the sun,” the doors: mostly vibes, but the image of “it’s time to live in the scattered sun” reminded me of him for some reason, and the “waiting for you to come along / waiting for you to hear my song / waiting for you to tell me what went wrong” made me think of him and tuco (every gun makes its own tune, the ending).

“written in your hair,” robert lester folsom: this one is mostly vibes, and also something something buried gold/golden hair, but also “you can’t do a thing if you ain’t there” reminds me of him.

“don’t let me be misunderstood,” the animals: pretty self explanatory; he’s cruel perhaps without always wanting to be. also, “no one alive can always be an angel / when things go wrong i seem to be bad” reminiscent of the missed shot and his subsequent ditching tuco in the desert. a sort of apology.

“all along the watchtower,” bob dylan: a very blondie & tuco song to me. the second verse especially. “there are many here among us who feel that life is but a joke / but you and i, we've been through that, and this is not our fate / so let us not talk falsely now, the hour is getting late.” tuco’s near hangings and blondie’s near death in the desert (but you and i we’ve been through that), and the exchange of the secret at the bridge (so let us not talk falsely now, the hour is getting late); ironically, blondie lies.

“hunger child blues,” townes van zandt: one of THE top blondie songs to me. i almost ended with this one for the “do you think that you know my name?” but it didn’t flow well. it’s ethereal, and a little threatening, like him.

“(ghost) riders in the sky,” johnny cash: also on sentenza’s, who has the ronnie dawson cover. i wanted to lean into the supernatural aspect, and “cowboy, change your ways today, or with us you will ride” felt apt. i actually liked the dawson version better for blondie but the cash version flows very well musically.

“wand’rin’ star,” lee marvin: from paint your wagon. if the title itself isn’t convincing enough, “i’ve never seen a sight that didn’t look better looking back.”

“don’t fence me in,” clint eastwood: pretty self explanatory. had to pick the clint cover for obvious reasons.

“state trooper,” bruce springsteen: “maybe you got a kid, maybe you got a pretty wife / the only thing that i got’s been botherin’ me my whole life” immediately makes me think of him. as does “hi-ho, silver-o, deliver me from nowhere” and the echoing cries at the end. the crushing loneliness of the open road.

“snake song,” townes van zandt: the other top blondie song to me. “you can’t hold me, i’m too slippery / i do no sleepin’, i get lonely / you can touch me if you want to / but i got poison, i just might bite you.” that’s blondie, baby. the line “lie in circles on the sunlight” is also very evocative and “i’ll be there when you start sinkin’” reminds me of the ending.

breakdown: il brutto

"lungs", townes van zandt: another general gbu song, but “salvation sat and crossed herself and called the devil partner” makes me think of him and pablo. “jesus was an only sun and love his only concept / strangers cry in foreign tongues and dirty up the doorstep” makes me think of his relationship with blondie, given their weird interplay as jesus and judas at various points. as a bonus, “seal the river at its mouth, take the water prisoner / fill the sky with screams and cries, bathe in fiery answer” gives me branston bridge vibes also.

"wanted dead or alive," warren zevon: pretty self explanatory just from the title, but i thought "all i'm trying to do is find a peaceful place / but they say i have an outlaw's face" is particularly apt. that, and the parallel of "fifteen states" to tuco being wanted in fifteen counties.

“do it again,” steely dan: “but the hangman isn’t hangin’, so they put you on the street.” any song with a noose in it is a tuco song to me, especially if said noose is escaped, but the rest of the lyrics fit well too–revenge, trouble with the law, water in the desert, seduction and lost love (the wives!), gambling, making money.

“black widow blues,” townes van zandt: “i got the hands, pretty lady, gonna make you grieve / and the lovin’ gonna make you mine.” a specific kind of drifting, hedonistic romanticism that suits him, i think. something something a wife in every town.

“ventilator blues,” the rolling stones: “when you’re trapped and circled with no second chance / code of livin’ is your gun in hand / can’t be browed by beatin’, can’t be cowed by words / messed by cheatin’, ain’t gon’ ever learn.” the line about “everybody's trying to step on their creator” and the opening verse about being agitated and beat down.

“goin’ out west,” tom waits: “they got some money out there, they’re giving it away” and “all my friends say i’m ugly, i got a masculine face.” i feel like the braggadocio and the musical sound of it suits him.

“highway chile,” jimi hendrix: “now you’d probably call him a tramp, but i think it goes a little deeper than that”–tuco calls himself a tramp on the wagon. “ain’t seen a bed in so long it’s a sin.”

“born under a real bad sign,” albert king: pretty self explanatory. “if it wasn’t for real bad luck, i wouldn’t have no luck at all.” that’s tuco, baby. i used king’s original over the cream cover namely because of the line “i can’t read, never learned how to write.”

“laundromat,” rory gallagher: “what do you think of that? / i’m sleepin’ down at the laundromat” and the line about “come and meet my friends, they’ll be with me to the end” reminds me of his “if you work for a living, why do you kill yourself working?” scene

“who do you love,” townes van zandt: the morbid, boastful lyrics and themes of seduction suited tuco very well imo. i love bo diddley but i picked the townes cover as i felt it fit better musically.

“brown eyed handsome man,” chuck berry: the braggadocio and the romanticization of brown eyes fits already, but the line about the judge’s wife setting a man free especially caught my attention, because it seems like it would happen to tuco (or he’d make up a story about it, anyway).

“hate street dialogue,” rodríguez: the song’s about growing up in inner city detroit, but it fits well, i think, with tuco’s line “where we come from, if one did not want to die in poverty, one became a priest or a bandit.” also, “i’ve tasted hate street’s hanging tree.”

“snake mountain blues,” townes van zandt: the general lost love, “no one to care for me” thing, but also: “and it’s goodbye to this yellow-headed misery i’ve known.” remind you of anyone?

“should’ve learnt my lesson,” rory gallagher: never learning, and “my first mistake was when i thought that you’d be true / now i realize that was a foolish thing to do” as everything with blondie. “when you don’t fit, you know that’s the time to move.” “you must be prepared to lose if you choose to toss the dice.”

“just a bum,” michael hurley: a wistful, romantic take on the life of a hedonistic drifter. “just a tramp / call me what you like / see me travelin’ down the pike / and singin’ love songs / sittin’ by the fireside dreamin’ all night / makin’ love drunk in a meadow ‘neath the pale moonlight / travelin’ over land like a natural born man.”

“paper mountain man,” linda perhacs: the chorus, the line about “sewn by the love many ladies’ hands” and “you like delicate ladies with real fine skin / you’ll touch ‘em but you’ll never love / that’s the way you’ve always been,” the line about curly hair. “heavy-booted walk tappin’ low funk blues” also feels fitting for reasons i can’t quite describe.

“spoonful,” howlin’ wolf: also on blondie’s, who has the willie dixon version. this version mentions gold, which is apt, and i think the mentions of being satisfied with just a little love work more ironically here than for blondie. something about all this strife over a little wealth (before the gold comes along anyway...)

“driftin’ blues,” lowell fulson: “well i’m drifting and i’m drifting like a ship out to sea / ain’t got nobody in this world to care for me.” need i say more?

“get behind the mule,” tom waits: one of the best suited songs for him, imo. “i’m diggin' all the way to china with a silver spoon while the hangman fumbles with the noose”–sad hill! but also, the idea of “you've got to get behind the mule in the morning and plow” is about how it goes for him. he's just got to endure. blondie leaves him in the desert seventy miles from town and tells him to manage it, so he does. what else is he supposed to do?

“dirge,” bob dylan: this is the other peak tuco song for me. the verse that starts “can’t recall a useful thing” which i made a web weave out of, but also, “i’ve paid the pride of solitude, but at least i’m out of debt.”

“rake,” townes van zandt: i wanted to end on kind of a grim note because there’s something very tragic about tuco as a character to me. he ends the movie alive and with the gold, yes, but humiliated and abandoned by his partner. reminds me of his relationship with pablo, too: “have you accomplished anything but evil?” his drifting and hedonism can only take him so far before his past catches up with him eventually.

breakdown: il cattivo

"dead before dawn", vaguess: “please burn my rotting flesh / and don’t give me a grave / buy yourself something nice / with the money that you save / cause i’ll be gone”. sad hill!

"sinister purpose," ccr: THE angel eyes song to me. “burn away the goodness, you and i remain / did you see the last war? well here i am again.” specifically, angel eyes to blondie.

"big in japan," tom waits: this one's all about the "i've got the [blank], but not the [blank]" structure. as in, the cemetery, but not the grave–which could go for all of them, but i felt this fit sentenza best given he's trying to get both of these things; tortures it out of and forces a partnership on blondie since he suspects torture won't work on him. that, and the "i've got the whole damn nation on its knees."

"people are strange," the doors: a time-constrained replacement for "riders on the storm," which i felt would’ve really suited him with the sinisterness of it and the thing about the drifting killer. regardless, i think the idea of being cruel and apart from other people as a self-reinforcing cycle feels pretty fitting.

"thirteen," johnny cash: a song about a nameless killer. “bad luck wind been blowin' at my back / i was born to bring trouble to wherever i'm at” and “the list of lives i’ve broken reach from here to hell.”

"sympathy for the devil," the rolling stones: a song about a sophisticated devil? come on, that’s angel eyes for sure. i think “so if you meet me have some courtesy / have some sympathy and some taste / use all your well-learned politesse / or i’ll lay your sole to waste” is very fitting especially.

"whistlin’ past the graveyard," tom waits: this could've gone for any of the trio, honestly, but i picked angel eyes as this specific brand of sinister, supernatural braggadocio seemed to suit him best.

"i’m the devil," the william loveday intention: i feel like this one’s just self explanatory, to be honest.

"old judge jones," les dudek: one of my early adds; his (italian) name’s sentenza, after all, so i’m a sucker for pairing him with any song about judges/judgment. “old judge jones never gave a man a break / on his hanging tree the leaves don’t shake.”

"the snake," al wilson: the theme of accepting someone else’s help and then crossing them because “you knew darn well i was a snake before you brought me in” feels very right for him. something with how he betrays tuco. hell, this could be a blondie song too.

"money talks," jj cale: “you’d be surprised with the friends you can buy with small change.” the goons he hires.

"dead man, dead man," bob dylan: a tuco’s-eye-view of angel eyes, specifically. the lines about “the glamor and the bright lights and the politics of sin,” “the tuxedo that you’re wearing, the flower in your lapel,” and the choruses with lines like “pretending that you’re so smart” and “what are you trying to prove?”–all his false sophistication and arrogance covering that he’s just another lowdown coward.

"hoist that rag," tom waits: the horrors of war (specifically, the prison camp stuff).

"wolf teeth," jd mcpherson: “i leave a little magic every place i go” (the inhuman vibes of him) and “leave a little blood so the grass can’t grow.”

"rotten to the core," the builders and the butchers: while i initially listened to this song assuming it was about a guy who sucked, it’s about seeing the world as an inherently cruel and dangerous place–which, funnily enough, i think also fits pretty well. case in point, when he tries to justify his brutality to that prison camp official by claiming they have to have “respect.”

"bad seed sown," the bellfuries: “the kinda people hip to my kind of evil / are few and far between / it lurks, it lies, it feeds on cries / it’s sophisticated and mean.” self explanatory. additionally, “there won’t be omens or signs / just a smile and a line / then the swing of the axe”–betraying tuco.

"love of hate," st. john green: sad hill. this one’s partly just vibes. “shall die alone, without privilege of a stone” does fit nicely.

"riders in the sky," ronnie dawson: also on blondie’s, who has the johnny cash version, so i ended up using this for angel eyes. blondie may have changed his ways, but angel eyes doesn’t, and he strikes me as the type not to stay dead and buried. i just like the idea of him as a ghost.

"god’s gonna cut you down," johnny cash: the delicious irony of sentenza as a figure of judgment, and of him being then cut down by blondie (golden haired angel).

"the werewolf song," michael hurley: a slightly softer, sentimental take on the violence, if that makes any sense. vibes mostly. i wonder if he ever gets lonely.

"death don’t have no mercy (live)," hot tuna: reminds me very strongly of his intro at stevens’s place; “he comes to your house and he won’t stay long / you look in the bed and somebody will be gone.” felt this was a good, grim note to end on, and i felt the hot tuna cover fit very well musically.

#the good the bad and the ugly #dollars trilogy

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