#but fun fact. if i did my math right

[mango-dolphin]

idk if i sent this to someone else but i probably did and they just haven't answered BUT-

i love the idea of Ren and Itsuki being more, i guess, intelligent?? than Naofumi and Motoyasu. like high IQ, knows a ton of subjects and is VERY well versed in each, kinda way!!!

It makes sense kinda too, Ren is from a hi-tech world which likely needs a lot of extreme just to function in society NORMALLY, and i think he did good with A's and high B's. Itsuki went to a wealthy private school(based on uniform) for people with Superpowers and is probably a straight A honor student!!

that doesn't say anything about how dense/young they are, tho XD

Naofumi, though he is pretty smart, is canonically an otaku nerd who never went past highschool, and likely got like C's and B's. Motoyasu was in university, but with how stupid and stubborn he is i don't think he's too intelligent either XD; he seems like an Art Major(derogatory).

I can imagine Itsuki and Ren having a really engaged, in-depth, "high IQ" intelligent conversation and Nao and Motoyasu CANNOT keep up XD

tl;dr:

i agree that ren is probably a nerd but NOT because he's from a hi-tech world; i also agree that itsuki would be a huge nerd too but it is because he's from a world w/superpowers.

imo ren's range of knowledge would be wider than itsuki's and motoyasu's, but naofumi would have an even wider range and a greater depth of applicable knowledge because of how he spent his time in melromarc's world.

itsuki & motoyasu's intelligences would probably be confined to specific fields, perhaps even specific applications to a certain extent. their depth of knowledge would run pretty deep in that regard i feel

kizuna would also have a wide range of knowledge, some more shallow than others. she'd be a lot more practically (and emotionally) equipped than ren would, tbh

didn't mention it in the ramblings below, but i decided to add up my placements on all of the characters' intellects, and it looks like this: Naofumi > Kizuna > Itsuki > Motoyasu > Ren > Motoyasu again (because of the mental illnesses)

(DO note that these are in comparison to each other and not really how smart i think they actually are, which is something i could probably elaborate on later. there were some where i realized that the heroes would all be better than the average person, and there were a couple where i realized that the heroes weren't that smart in that category.)

however ren & itsuki would be so much better at, say, math than naofumi or kizuna would be. i'm sorry.

however i think motoyasu and naofumi would have soooorta equal math smarts (just different applications of what they know) so.

my actual post (sorry that it keeps getting so long)

hmmMMMM i will admit, as fun as these headcanons are, i don't know how much i can reciprocate...? i think there's a fallacy here wrt money, technology level, and education as they relate to knowledge: while having more of any one of those three can make access to knowledge easier, it doesn't necessarily mean that becoming more knowledgeable (either willingly or unwillingly) is a guarantee.

you ARE right that education doesn't say anything on how dense/young (immature?) they are. but i'd also like to call into question what we're calling "intelligence" here, as personally i think everyone has a different thing that they're "smart" in (if they're smart in anything at all). and the different heroes All definitely have a variety in that regard.

(personally i don't really buy into IQ points / IQ stuff either because it doesn't really say What that sort of intelligence is supposed to entail, i've always seen it as a thing white people use as a bragging right PRBTBBTT)

THAT SAID. i still think ren has a decent chance of being the (intellectually—i mean specifically logical*) smartest of the cardinal heroes just from his personality alone LMAO. i think the comparative list of logical intelligence looks like:

Ren

Naofumi (above Itsuki by a very close margin that only was made further after their time in Melromarc's world)

Itsuki

Motoyasu

Kizuna (including kizuna because she's a cardinal hero too and i like her.)

PLEASE note that i'm not trying to call Kizuna stupid here (in fact, i think she's decently smart; average intelligence for her age at the VERY least)—rather I'm trying to call Motoyasu smart (or at least. also average intelligence for his age w/some specializations)

(*invoking from the multiple intelligences theory, proposed by howard gardner. essentially, the theory claims that human "intellect" is actually split up into different modalities, rather than intelligence being one singular ability. i think this theory just Makes Sense™ because like. humans are far too complex. but also i didn't mean to bring in psychological theory just for headcanons HELP ME.

(further reading from the website this was taken from here!)

of course not everyone agrees that this theory is applicable to daily life or questions of intelligence, and additionally i may not even be naming more common reasons as to why people disbelieve this theory? but i support it and at the very least appreciate the classifications so i'm gonna borrow its basic proposed ideas for the rest of the post.)

i try to avoid Quantifying traits like intelligence tbh, but also there's no disregarding the fact that some people are just better at different shit than others. difference is a Thing. it Exists™. so with that, i'm gonna ramble about my headcanons/the vibes that i get wrt the 9 intelligence types in gardner's theory:

(NOTE: got tired in the middle of this so i'm not gonna comment on/define all of these. if you'd like me to, send me an ask for another category and i can go in-depth! i just realized that this post is getting LONG.)

Visual / Spatial (i rearranged this list SO FUCKING MUCH)

Best: Naofumi. Remembered that he got into jewelry-making; becoming a traveling trader probably unlocked some latent advertising/graphic design awareness locked in his subconscious after years of curating manga, anime, games, and doujinshi LMAO. Also has some great senses on the field, combined w/his stupendous leadership his ability to apply his intelligence here is off the charts.

(2) Itsuki. Great at visualizing things relative to where he is, and definitely would have to have that kind of awareness in order to be a good archer. Placing him this high because—ironically enough—I think he'd be close to the best at analyzing "chain reactions" (how things not only interact in a space, but how those interactions will affect everything else around them).

(3) Ren. Despite probably being used to cramped spaces more often than not, he's also used to VR, so he'd probably be more aware than most on what may be in his surroundings. Just as good at considering "chain reactions" as Itsuki would be. Probably knows a thing or two about graphics as well—not saying that he's an artist by any means, but rather he'd be exposed to art (in advertising) to the same degree anyone incredibly online or in a very urbanized space might be. Might have taken note of how all that stuff works—he seems like a curious kid.

(4) Kizuna. Pretty good at visualizing things in a 3d space—maybe not the most creative person out there (more resourceful than anything, which is a different skill), but has a strong sense of style. Also would be pretty good at observing and predicting how things would react physically—I could see her and Ren being tied, honestly.

Worst: Motoyasu. i agree so bad he'd be an Art Major (derogatory but also affectionate). Initially I put him at the top, then I recalled how the other heroes displayed their spatial intelligence in the anime and was forced to relent that Motoyasu's seeming inability to consider collateral damage (especially as compared to the other heroes) would put him squarely at the bottom. He sucks severely at thinking through the implications and consequences of things at their face. So even though I think he'd be the most artistically-minded and even potentially the most eagle-eyed of all the Cardinal Heroes (second to Itsuki on the latter part imo), he doesn't have the intelligence here to apply any observations he makes.

IN TERMS OF ARTISTIC ABILITY, HOWEVER! (from best to worst):

Artistic Scrutiny: Motoyasu, Naofumi, Kizuna, Itsuki, Ren Artistic Talent: Motoyasu, Itsuki, Naofumi, Kizuna, Ren Artistic Knowledge: Motoyasu, Ren, Kizuna, Naofumi, Itsuki Aesthetic Sense: Kizuna, Motoyasu, Naofumi, Ren, Itsuki Would realize the dress was blue and black and taken under weird lighting conditions: Motoyasu and Motoyasu alone, somehow

Naturalist

Best: Kizuna. IT'S A PERFECT DAY FOR A FISH HUNT. Kizuna is the Hunting Tool hero and has had to live away from civilization on her own for a very long time. Not to mention, just as the person she is, I doubt that she wasn't well-versed in nature and the world around her even before her exile. Loves to fish so bad

(2) Naofumi. Naofumi be multiclassing in everything, including plant-based magic (king)—however, before getting summoned, Itsuki would've known more than him by a long shot. (In fact, he'd probably rank above Motoyasu exclusively because of his affinity for animals!)

(3) Itsuki. Itsuki probably got some wildlife/survivalist training at his school, and his knowledge (even though he probably hasn't honed it too much so much as relied on what he knows) is probably close to Naofumi's. Maybe not the most comfortable around animals,

(4) Motoyasu. Wouldn't be the best forager or survivalist by a long shot, but would feel very comfortable (although not completely knowledgeable) in natural spaces. Most animals are probably ambivalent to him. Has more keen naturalistic instincts than the average person, so the gap between him and Ren is larger than his gap with Itsuki. It's not his fault that everyone else above him is just a nature freak. (Personally imagining him as a wild frat boy released into the apartment backyard woods hunting rabbits on all fours)

Worst: Ren. I don't know how urbanized Ren's home Japan was, but he doesn't seem like the type of kid who'd be spending all his time outside. Can't fucking swim. Would have learned enough from video games and (to his embarrassment) trial and error to get by, but do NOT forget the fucking Dragon Corpse incident holy shit. Probably hangs around civilization as much as possible. Legitimately worse at this than the average person prove me wrong

self-explanatory imo.

Musical

Best: Itsuki

(2, tied) Kizuna & Motoyasu

Worst, tied: Ren & Naofumi

apparently itsuki became the Vassal Music Instrument holder? good for him! i really need to read the light novels help me god.

musical headcanons are a BIG THING for me so i get really picky about them, but personally i don't know enough about these characters to really say one way or the other quite yet. my placements are just vague vibes, i'll feel more comfortable elaborating on a musical hc for these guys once i know more about the story.

Kizuna & Motoyasu probably have good grasps on musical concepts—i thiiiink motoyasu knows how to play guitar? and kizuna feels like someone who's played an instrument at some point.

Logical / Mathematical

Best: Ren. Probably did a lot of in-depth stat calculation when playing his video games, he gives me those vibes. His mathematical knowledge is best geared towards statistics and calculations, and he probably makes great assumptions/hypotheses when he's given the space and opportunity for it.

(2) Naofumi.

(3) Itsuki.

(4) Motoyasu.

Worst: Kizuna.

Talked about this earlier lmao.

Existential

Best: Kizuna. Her entire character arc :]

(2) Ren. Seems very thoughtful when he gives himself the space, in the LNs he seems to be giving himself that space for sure in alongside of how much he's trying to atone. I care him

(3) Motoyasu. Doesn't seem interested in this kind of thing admittedly, but would have some surprisingly profound ideas hidden underneath his whole idiot college boy facade. I think he has the capacity to be more spiritually intelligent/considerate than anyone might give him credit for. It'll take him a bit, but. Y'know. (gestures vaguely)

(4) Naofumi. He seemed incredibly dismissive about any sort of existential purpose he might have until recently I think? He never thought very much about his place in the world aside from how much the world hated him, and only recently (in the anime) started thinking about existential topics. He was just trying to survive for awhile, so philosophy outright didn't matter much to him. Could probably start outclassing Ren & Motoyasu if those two stagnate as he progresses.

Worst: Itsuki. Hates thinking about existentialism. Black and white thinking lends itself poorly to thinking about the possibilities of something, and spiritual/philosophical questions tend to introduce grey areas and mess with that kind of thinking.

idk who added this type or when, i think it's essentially spirituality? or at the very least how to keep going. idk. philosophy is also under this umbrella. idk how to tackle it

Interpersonal

Best: Kizuna.

(2, tied) Naofumi & Motoyasu. Naofumi theoretically wouldn't be that good with people (what with his anger at the world and subsequent introversion), but the entire series has demonstrated over and over that he's naturally good at making meaningful connections. On the flip side, ever since Motoyasu's mental breakdown in the LN it's been getting worse, but he's naturally charismatic and has been the people person out of the rest of the heroes. Motoyasu is good at making friends—Naofumi is good at keeping them.

(3) Itsuki. lol. lmao

Worst: Ren. He's doing so bad and he's going to continue to. I'm so sorry.

Bodily-Kinesthetic

Best: Naofumi, hands down, tied with Kizuna. It's kinda crazy how good at moving around and just throwing himself around the field the anime makes Naofumi. He's a natural fighter, great at defense. I could elaborate more but. Tired. Go king go

Kizuna, meanwhile, Probably has the best hand-eye coordination of the group, behind or tying with Itsuki (who'd probably train that as well). She's above him, however, due to probably having a better instinctual skill in using her body in combat. As in, good at getting into position, out of position, timing shots and attacks etc etc etc. Probably pretty good at physical skills as well. Honestly

(2) Motoyasu. Honestly I can see him having great motor functions, ranking below Kizuna only because he doesn't seem like he'd have gotten into many fights pre-summon (not that fighting a lot = more bodily-kinesthetic intelligence) and his batch of Cardinal Heroes haven't been at it this long. Being an artist (particularly someone who sews & designs) probably makes him aware of how to fine-tune certain things, as well as a higher awareness than average on how the body moves and how it could be restricted. Skilled with his hands, probably has some great footwork too. Also he probably has a pretty good understanding of his body because of. Because. Because he'd. You know how. It'd be because he'd have a lot of. Y'know. It's because he f

(3) Itsuki. Sure, he had to undergo training in his boarding school for superpower stuff, but I never got the impression that he was necessarily good at it. His power, "Accuracy" (able to hit targets accurately with any ranged weapon/device if not blocked), would probably make him instinctually good at positioning himself, but wouldn't necessarily make him naturally good at bodily mechanics—in fact, his power could've even made him complacent in that regard. Sorry to be so consistently harsh to this boy I know he's trying. Probably better than average because of his schooling, but he was also considered one of the weakest powers in his class so that probably affected him (at least mentally).

Worst: Ren. Can't fucking swim. King (sorry i know this isn't fair. he's probably actually better than itsuki in this regard but i decided to throw itsuki a bone by being too lazy to think it through at this point)

kinda tempted to put motoyasu above kizuna & naofumi but the results don't lie lmao

Linguistic

Best: Motoyasu. Rather poetic, probably incredibly well-read. I thiiiink his vocabulary is larger than the rest of the heroes? He gives me that vibe at the very least. Definitely a great actor if he tried, can put a lot of oompf in his words and—if he really feels like it—could craft incredibly effective speeches to evoke ideas he doesn't even state. Master at utilizing connotations without even realizing, imo. Would be a dangerous political opponent if he cared for it / used his talent/skill to the best of his ability. The royals love him.

(2) Naofumi. Doesn't try very hard to speak up for himself, which is a shame as he's gotten so much better at speaking in general. Great at conveying ideas when he needs to, has worked out his conversation & convincing muscles. Frankly the best speaker out of all the heroes due to skill, losing out to Motoyasu only because I think Motoyasu's just that talented.

(3) Ren. Not the most well-spoken in plain conversation, but is thoughtful enough to use his words properly and effectively. Pretty good at making and reading into inferences.

(4) Kizuna. Particularly blunt with her words, which is as much of a good thing as it can be a bad thing. Is also an otaku, so she's definitely reading a lot of media and I should hoooope thinking a lot about it too. Only slightly behind Ren if only because of the time she spent exiled, but could easily surpass him with time, age, and care for linguistic-focused skills.

(5) Itsuki. Alright conversationalist, decent public speaker. Due to his black and white thinking, however, he struggles to read between the lines. Can sense poor intention well enough, but if you've a good enough poker face, Itsuki won't be able to discern your true intentions through speech.

Worst: Wait a minute.

No.

No fucking way.

IT'S ALSO MOTOYASU. HOLY SHIT. Yeah, for all this "natural talent" and the flowery language he can put out, Motoyasu isn't precisely the best at communicating meaningful ideas when the going gets tough—and only gets worse as time goes on. Furthermore, due to his willful ignorance, he struggles a lot with reading between the lines. Can even completely ignore what's outright said to him if his mind is made up. After his mental breakdown in the LN, his ability to even understand half of the population gets stripped away by delusion (the. pig thing). Although I feel he has a natural affinity for linguistic intelligence, the Mental Illnesses™ afflicting him severely handicap his access to that affinity. sorry king.

Intrapersonal

Best: Kizuna. Better than everyone else by default, but has also spent a lot of time on her own. In fact had a whole arc in her backstory about coming to terms with herself and what she was going to do to get out of the Infinite Labyrinth. Has a strong sense of self I feel, knows who she is and what she wants, and more or less accepting of herself too.

Worst: Everyone else sucks here. I'm sorry. Naofumi would've outclassed them (by being an average person) before getting summoned, then unlocking his Curse Series (Wrath). With his party's help, he's been able to steadily climb back to "average/moderate intrapersonal intelligence" status, and is currently sitting next to Ren (who beats himself up far too much; this negative self-image clouds his ability to fully self-conceptualize. Ren would be above average otherwise imo). Itsuki struggles blaming himself for problems and deliberately tries to ignore his flaws, having a faulty understanding of himself.

Special Worst Category for Motoyasu who, if we were scoring this on a scale of 1 to 5, would have –5 points. There's so much wrong with him. Stop Asian Boy Stop.

i hope this makes sense. i will probably change my mind on most of these in a few days (and when i read thru the light novels/manga lmao)

#long post #mango japery #ask #small-spark-of-light #sorry again y'all. i ddidndent mean it #naofumi iwatani #ren amaki #itsuki kawasumi #motoyasu kitamura #kizuna kazayama #shield hero #THERE'S SO MUCH IN HERE THAT I COULD ELABORATE ON BUT I WROTE. SOOOOOOO MUCH #i should've focused more on how i think the characters would've been educated like i initially intended to #i just fell into an intelligence tanget OOPS #i could make a different post on how i feel about these guys' education later JKFNSEJKFN you could tell i was GEARING UP #for a DIFFERENT POST #and also my assessments may change at a later date. i do not think i was accurate enough #but fun fact. if i did my math right #naofumi got 18 or 19 points?; kizuna got 20; itsuki got 22 #then ren hit me with the FUCKING 28. #i ignored the Special -5 Points category for motoyasu but that's because he technically already had one in linguistics #so he would have 25 if linguistics was counted as first place #and 29 if linguistics was counted as fifth place. #i think ren would do the best out of the other heroes if he did a pen and paper test #he just kind of failed to measure to everyone else because he was just generally disconnected from parts of life #meanwhile motoyasu's ignorance is Fucking Slaughtering Him. #girl help the delusions ! #i don't think mental illness makes you stupid by any means it just makes shit Harder #headcanon

[jessicas-pi]

She did not shrink back, though the pupils of her eyes dilated. Was it the wildest thing in the world which happened to her—or was it not? Without warning—the sudden rush of a thought, immense and strange, swept over her body and soul and possessed her—so possessed her that it changed her pallor to white flame. It was actually Anstruthers who shrank back a shade because, for the moment, she looked so near unearthly.

“I am not afraid of you,” she said, in a clear, unshaken voice. “I am not afraid. Something is near me which will stand between us—something which DIED to-day.”

---

behold: my artistic contribution to the small but enthusiastic You Should Totally Read The Shuttle (1907) By Frances Hodgson Burnett campaign

#I was gonna draw the full scene with Nigel too but then I remembered that I actually do not know what he looks like #so I just did betty #fun fact!! I based Betty's riding habit off of pictures of an actual extant riding habit on the Met museum website! #(though idk if hers would be fancier or not) #oh an her hairstyle is based off of an illustration of several women on horseback in that time so that's semi-accurate too! #I didn't give her the hat/veil that she would have been wearing because I couldn't get that to look right in the drawing #but hey maybe just it fell off when she fell off her horse or something #the shuttle #jessica's art #oh yeah also I spent like 20 minutes examining the book for details to clue me in to when it took place so I could be accurate lol #I know it was written in 1907 but some parts of it made me wonder if it was set before then so i did the math #judging from the references to nigel being raised in the early victorian era my best guess is probably between 1870 and 1890!

[luriendotmp3]

my daughter autism

#fun fact there isnt actually a swear under the scribbles i just wrote “fricking” because im a coward i guess #pyre #my art #metaphor dont look #pyre spoilers #supergiant pyre #supergiant games #moontouched girl pyre #vagabond girl pyre #archjustice whatshisface the something #forgot his name #also i think i did the math right if shes been exiled for 2 years at the start of the game then she wouldve been 17 when she was exiled rig #t

[shewantsitall]

Faced one of my biggest teacher fears today (teaching whole group math) and didn't totally flop!

#length estimation is a tricky thing to teach anyway. esp since we're using metric units and they dont...do that like ever #I think it really well for a first go though #management was a little bit iffy since I don't have all of her methods completely down yet #but tomorrow is going to be better and I'm going to learn from my mistakes and it's going to be great #student teacher sadie ✨ #so fun fact i taught math in groups for one class once but then when i took my Teaching Math course covid snatched us from placements #before we could actually teach actual math to actual kids #and yeah i did small groups for my RTI job #but that's not the same!!!! #and i just haven't had the chance again #so today felt like a big step in the right direction

[babymetaldoll]

BFF (Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader)

Summary: Spencer meets his best friend from school after 12 years apart.  Requested: Yes, a million years ago... sorry for the delay!   Warnings: None. I don't even think I cursed.  Category: Hardcore fluff  A/N: Hey!! I'm still alive!  Masterlist

Spencer Reid knew he had fallen in love. It happened when he was just eight years old and his heart had never beat for another girl again, not the same way after he met her. (Y/N), his neighbor, three doors down the block.  

Never, and he was 24 years old already.

It all started on a random afternoon after school. 

- “You are such a nerd, Reid!”- Spencer heard a boy yelling as he shoved him down to the ground. Reid grabbed his glasses and made sure to keep them safe and in place, even when he was on the ground. The other kid, Lucas, was two years older, and for some other reason, that was nothing but kids being cruel, he had always treated Spencer like scum. And that day wasn’t the exception. 

- “Why are you so mean?”- Spencer whispered as he tried to stand up, but Lucas shoved him back to the ground, mocking him. 

- “Why are you so mean”- and the kid chuckled- “I don’t know, why are you such a baby?”

- “Didn’t your mom tell you you should never hit a kid wearing glasses?”- (Y/N) shouted as she stared at the scene from a safe distance, holding her bike. Spencer turned to look at her and for a moment, he thought what he was feeling was a panic attack. His heart kept beating faster and faster as he stared at the girl in awe.

- “Stay out of this, girl”- Lucas yelled and clenched his fist looking at little (Y/N). But she didn’t seem to be afraid. In fact, she left the bike on the ground and walked a few steps closer. 

- “Why are you calling me “girl” like it’s a bad thing?” 

Spencer looked at her with wide-open eyes. Sixteen years had passed since that day, but he could never forget the way she stood completely fearless in front of a bigger boy, and crossed her arms on her chest, almost daring him to reply. 

- “Why are you defending the nerd? Are you in love with him?”- Lucas teased and shoved the girl. But instead of tumbling or even falling, the girl moved faster and kicked him right in the balls. Lucas yelled and fell on the grass, crying in pain. (Y/N) quickly grabbed her bike and turned to Spencer. 

- “This is when you run!” 

He had never felt his heart skip a beat the way it did that day. He was only eight years old, and it never happened again. 

- “What’s your name?”- the girl asked when they reached her front porch, running away from danger. 

- “Spencer”- he whispered as he tried to catch his breath.

- “I’m (Y/N), do you want some juice?”

And just like that, Spencer Reid had a friend. He followed her into her house and froze when he saw two older kids, around Luca’s age, in the living room watching tv. 

- “Those are my brothers, you can ignore them. I do.”- she explained as she kept walking. 

- “So you finally made a friend or are you forcing the kid to hang out with you?”- one of them asked and the other chuckled. But (Y/N) didn’t reply. She walked straight to the fridge, grabbed two juice boxes and some cookies, and continued her way to the backyard. Spencer followed her closely, climbed to her treehouse with her, and shared a snack. 

That was the first of many afternoons they spent together. In the years to follow, (Y/N) and Spencer became best friends. It didn’t matter that he was already in high school by the time she was in middle school. He always took the time to help her with her homework and tutored her in math and chemistry. And she always got his back. Whenever there was a bully around, an asshole making him miserable, or anyone trying to make fun of Spencer, she was there. Kicking ass. 

Kids in school would make fun of them, telling them she was his bodyguard, his guard dog. Someone even drew them in the gym locker room. Spencer was a bunny and (Y/N) was a wolf. It was supposed to make them mad, but they didn’t care. They had their own bubble, their world. And they loved it there. 

Until Spencer had to go. They were twelve, and Spencer had already graduated from high school. Caltech was waiting for him. 

(Y/N) stood by the car as Diana loaded a few boxes. They had to move to Pasadena, and even though neither of them said a thing about their feelings, it was clearly heartbreaking for the two of them.   

- “You are not gonna cry, are you?”- she joked as Spencer tightened his jaw and cleaned his glasses with his shirt. He didn’t reply, he was in fact, fighting the tears back. 

- “Who is gonna save your ass whenever you are in trouble now?”- (Y/N) asked and punched Spencer’s arm softly- “I should have taught you how to fight. You could have a black belt by now.” 

- “Did you know the best age to start martial arts class with a good balance of discipline and commitment is from eight to twelve-year-old?”- Spencer blurted facts because that was the only thing that made him feel safe. 

- “Well, make sure you take a self-defense course in Caltech or whatever. Don’t let anyone kick your ass”- she added and he friend just nodded. They stared in silence for a moment, until Diana called her son, ready to go. 

- “So… see you around?”- (Y/N) simply said and Spencer nodded. 

- “Can I write to you?”

- “Sure! can I send you my homework, so you can do it for me?”- both of them chuckled. Spencer wanted to hug her, but even after all those years, he still didn’t feel comfortable enough to do it. So he just waved, and she waved back, and before he could comprehend what was happening, he was in a car with his mom, driving from his home to a new destination.     

- “I’m gonna miss you.”- (Y/N) whipped off the tears from her eyes as she stood in the middle of the sidewalk staring at the car. She didn’t know why she couldn’t just tell her best friend those words instead of making fun of him, but she figured she didn’t want him to think she was weak. He made her feel that way. Weak. Soft. Giddy. Nervous. 

She had a crush on him, obviously. No wonder why she had spent over four years defending him from every bully in school. She never told him, though. She felt so stupid, so silly, and so freaking girly, she couldn’t stand it. So she locked her feelings, hid them underneath thousand sarcastic, witty comments    

- “Bye, (Y/N)”- Spencer whispered, staring at her through the rearview mirror, as tears kept falling from his eyes. He knew his heart was breaking, and there was nothing he could do about it. 

Skip twelve years, and Spencer still cherished every letter he had shared with (Y/N). They had long stopped writing to each other, but he always wanted to find her again. He missed her, like a part of his life that had been ripped from his chest, from his fingers. From his heart. But life was now filled with chaos. He worked at the BAU, he chased serial killers for a living. He didn’t have time for his personal life. He only had time for work. 

- “Local police department asked us to assist on a case”- Hotch announced early that morning at the briefing meeting of the team. Spencer looked at the Unit Chief and nodded, taking notes on the case they had to help with. They had worked with the local police a bunch of times, and so far it had been a good experience. 

- “I heard there is a new Sergeant in that department.”- Morgan comments as he drove with Spencer to the city police office - “As far as I know, she is very young but severe. Some of the officials said they were scared of her.” 

- “Most men are threatened by female bosses.”- Spencer replied, reading the case file for the fifth time during the trip. He didn’t take his eyes off the paper as he added - “A study indicates that women in positions of authority meet with more resistance in their interactions with male employees because those men perceive female bosses as a threat to their masculinity.”

- “And how would you deal with a female boss? Can you picture a woman as Unit Chief?”- Derek was just teasing his friend, mostly ‘cos he was bored.  

- “I don’t feel threatened by women.”- Spencer nearly stuttered as he replied, which made his words considerably unbelievable. 

- “Yeah, that’s not what I remember from the last time you talked with a woman.”- Morgan just chuckled and shook his head. 

- “Shut up.” 

Hotch, Gideon, Elle, Morgan, and Spencer walked into the police station. The Unit Chief and Gideon headed straight to the chief’s office, and the rest of the team waited in the bullpen. Most of the officers were there, doing paperwork, nothing out of the ordinary. Until one voice captured Spencer’s attention. 

- “How many times do I have to tell you, Smith? You can’t make that kind of desitions on your own? What if someone got hurt again?”- (Y/N) was scolding a young official, who glued his eyes to the floor, embarrassed. - “Now go before you get another suspension.” 

- “(Y/N)?”- Spencer whispered and turned to her. He was beyond shocked, not even in his wildest dreams he thought he would see her again. 

- “It’s Sergeant (Y/L/N).”- (Y/N) corrected and looked at the young agent. And for a moment, she forgot where she was. She opened her mouth, but not even one word came from her lips. There he was, her first love, looking cuter than ever. 

- “Hi.”- Reid mumbled and waved. She stood in the middle of the police office and simply stared at him in silence. 

No one understood what was going on. Morgan looked at Elle, who just shrugged. Everybody at that office was confused. The officials had never seen their Sergeant being emotional, and it was clear she was having a moment, right there in front of everybody.  

Suddenly, (Y/N) took a step closer to Reid, and then another, until she stood right in front of him and wrapped his arms around his neck. He moved immediately and hugged her tight. That was the very first time they hugged. 

- “Are you really here?”- she whispered and giggled, moving from him and staring t him with a big smile - “Is it really you, Spencer Walter Reid?”

- “Walter?”- Elle tried not to laugh and looked at Morgan, who seemed to be trying not to laugh as well. 

- “When did you move to DC?”- Spencer asked, staring at his best friend, neither of them moving from each other’s embrace. 

- “Last month! How long have you been here?”

- “Two years. I lost track of you after Caltech. I missed you.”- Spencer confessed right away, and (Y/N) nodded. 

- “Me too… and what are you doing here?” 

- “The team was called to collaborate on a case.” 

- “You are with the FBI?”- (Y/N) wide opened her eyes, surprised- “Look at you, Smarty.” 

- “Reid.”- Hotch interrupted their reunion and took them back to reality in a second. (Y/N) let Spencer go immediately and stood straight. 

- “Nice to meet you. Seargent (Y/L/N).”- (Y/N) extended her hand to Hotch, who shook it right away.- “The Chief told us you were coming to help with the case. Thank you for your time.”

- “(Y/N) is my best friend from school.”- Spencer explained to Hotch, and the team because they were all carefully listening. 

- “Nice to meet you. I was just talking with the Chief, we are meeting at the briefing room now.” 

Both (Y/N) and Spencer nodded and started walking, following the team. They had to make a major effort to focus on work. Neither of them could take their eyes off each other. Spencer kept smiling the whole time and looking at his best friend in adoration. Meanwhile, (Y/N) tried her best to remain calm. She felt exactly as she did when she was twelve. Her defense was down, Spencer made her feel weak and in love. Who knew first crushes could last that long? 

By the end of the day, a team of police officials plus Morgan, Elle, and Hotch had gone after the unsub. Spencer, and (Y/N) remained at the station, along with the Chief and Gideon. 

- “I still can’t believe you are here.”- Spencer whispered and looked at (Y/N), as the two of them stood in the middle of the kitchenette, getting another cup of coffee. 

- “Me neither.” 

- “I have so much to tell you. How are your brothers?” 

- “Married and with kids. I still can’t believe they are responsible grown-ups.” 

- “I might need proof to believe that as well.”- Reid smiled and (Y/N) chuckled at his words- “My mom still remembers you.” 

- “How is she? I miss her classes and her reading sessions.”- Spencer opened his mouth to reply, but Gideon interrupted him. 

- “They got him, we are ready to go.”- Reid nodded and turned to (Y/N), who sighed and cut him a short smile. 

- “At what time does your shift end?”- the young agent asked her.

- “Two and a half hours ago, yours?”- she replied with a soft chuckle. 

- “I think I am free now… do you want a better quality coffee?”- both of them smiled and looked at the mugs. 

- “And maybe something to eat. I’m starving.” 

- “Are you still a fan of Mexican food?”- Spencer asked and (Y/N) could barely hide the blush on her cheeks.

- “You still remember that?”

- “I remember everything.”

Reid and (Y/N) walked around after dinner. They had spent their time catching up with everything they had done since the last letter they had shared. He told her about college, his master's degrees, and PhDs. She told him about how she became a sergeant at such young age, and how she ended up in Washington DC. 

They walked arm in arm under the starry sky, like time hadn’t passed by. They talked about everything they might think of. But there was one question Spencer needed to ask her before the night was finished.  

- “I sent you so many letters after Caltech, but they all came back. They said “Not at this address”. Why didn’t you tell me you were moving?” 

And that was the one question (Y/N) wasn’t longing to reply. 

- “You were my best friend. My only friend and you disappeared. Why?”- Spencer stopped walking and looked at (Y/N). She sighed and bit her lips, trying to find the right words to explain her truth. It was hard, and she had tried her best to avoid it for too long. But if life had put Spencer back in her path, she couldn’t escape anymore. 

- “I’m sorry I hurt you, Spencer.”- she whispered and took a few seconds before she added - “That wasn’t my intention.” 

- “Then why did you disappear?” 

- “I needed some distance”- she tried to explain, but Spencer frowned. 

- “You and your family had moved to New York, I was in Los Angeles. We hadn’t seen each other in years. That wasn’t enough distance to you?”- (Y/N) had never heard Spencer raise his voice, but to be fair, they hadn’t talked about their feelings ever before. 

- “I needed to get over you!”- she murmured and bit her lips one more time, obviously nervous about his reaction. She was trying to be honest. - “I couldn’t continue in love with my best friend forever. I had to move on! I was already eighteen and I never even had a date, ‘cos I was waiting for you.” 

Spencer stared at her in shock. Of all the answers he thought he might get, that was not the one he imagined. He thought she was bored of him and grew tired of his letters. That she had more interesting things to do with her life than talking with a pen pal. 

(Y/N) sighed, relieved to take that from her chest, but scared of Spencer’s answer. She stared at him for a few seconds, but he didn’t react. So, she continued walking and slowly left him behind. 

Spencer tried to connect all that info, but he couldn’t believe it. He stared at her back as she walked and called out her name, jogging. 

- “(Y/N), wait.” 

- “No Spencer, it’s ok. You don’t have to say anything. I’m sorry I was so immature and hurt your feelings. I didn’t mean to… I wasn’t… I am so sorry.”- she blurted out and kept looking at her feet as she spoke. 

- “Don’t be.”- the young SSA whispered and held her hands. She raised his eyes and stared into his. She could still see the same sweet kid she had met at eight years old. - “I am sorry I never told you how I felt either. I was just so scared to lose you, and I lost you anyway.”

The two of them stayed in silence, processing what had just happened. Neither of them moved. Neither of them knew what to say next. So they just stood in silence for a few minutes, Spencer kept holding her hands the entire time, slowly and carefully caressing her fingers. 

- “So… what now?”- she finally whispered and Spencer sighed. 

- “Would… you… like… going out on a date with me?”- he asked and (Y/N) was unable to control the smile on her face. 

- “Are you serious? What did we just have? Dinner and ice cream count as a date.”- she teased him and Spencer blushed immediately.  

- “Ok, would you like to go on another date with me?” 

- “I would love to.”- she replied and started walking again, this time hand in hand with Spencer. He chuckled and stared at her from time to time. 

- “What is it?”- (Y/N) asked, knowing he was looking at her. Spencer chucked again and stopped walking. 

- “If this was a date…”- but he couldn’t finish his question, ‘cos (Y/N) held his face with both hands and kissed him. It was short and childish, and both of them seemed shocked after they parted. 

- “... I was wondering if I could walk you home?”- Spencer finished asking, and (Y/N) closed her eyes embarrassed, and even held her breath. 

- “Sorry… I thought you were….”- but this time, she couldn’t finish talking ‘cos Spencer held her face and kissed her. But that kiss was neither short nor childish. It was sweet and slow. Spencer kept rubbing his lips against hers, making her feel the entire world had stopped spinning. 

- “Sorry… I couldn’t help myself.”- he whispered as he moved his lips from hers, still cupping her cheeks with both hands. 

- “It’s ok.”- she managed to murmur as she giggled. - “I wanted to kiss you since we were twelve years old.” 

- “Me too.”- he confessed and looked at her blushy cheeks, knowing he looked the same.

- “So, are you gonna walk me home?”- (Y/N) asked and felt Spencer hold her hand as they started walking again. He intertwined his fingers with her and turned to her for a second as they started talking again. He knew this time he wasn’t going to let her go.  

Taglist General @spenxerslut @ash19871962 @muffin-cup @cynbx @meowiemari

Taglist Spencer @calm-and-doctor @malboroniights @lovejules888

#Spencer Reid #Spencer reid x reader #Criminal minds #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid x best friend #best friend to lovers #babymetaldoll writes #Yes I still write #spencer reid fanfic #mgg #matthew gray gubler #criminal mind fanfiction

[statisticallymorelikely]

✨00Q end of the year fic rec list ✨ (to commemorate the year of the lord 2023 when this ship came back to kick my ass)

the simplest of crimes by pdameron - fake marriage AU. my favorite 00Q fake married au just because the stakes are so low like they didn't have to do all that but the build up is so good.

come a lily, come a lilac by pdameron - florist!Q AU. this really got me giggling and twirling my hair.

James Bond Will Return by sorion - post-Spectre James comes back. a very charming character study.

as permanent as stone cathedrals by pdameron - pining Q. beautifully written with just the right amount of whump.

people can surprise you (or not) by pdameron - fake relationship but posh. i love whodunnits.

Hold Tight by orphan_account - Spectre fix-it. and fix it they did. also has my second favorite Q name.

lacunae (just the blood you owe) by finestkind - Q offers comfort as bond deals with grief. this fic honestly makes me ache, the way it handles friendship and grief and love UGH.

Say Something (I'm Giving Up On You) by Brihna - Spectre re-write where Q and James sleep before he goes off to Mexico. possibly my favorite Spectre fix-it, love emotional constipation and miscommunication.

Crossing the Bar by GwynDuLac - Q pulls bond out of retirement for an emergency mission. the best mission fic i have ever read hands down.

bloom on my skin, echo in my soul by Areiton - soulmate au. gorgeous writing.

if I couldn't be strong by SailorChibi - post-Spectre James is found abandoned in a hospital in a coma. i love how quietly vindictive Q is in this.

a bloodless coup by Ark - marathon sex. very vulnerable.

I Could've Been a Maths Teacher by Brihna - Q branch gets invaded. v good translation of the comic into prose.

I Don't Take Your Pleasure For Granted by Catchclaw - Q develops a crush. love me some pathetic Q.

I Won't Shiver, I Won't Shake by Only_1_Truth - Skyfall re-write, lots of Q whump. the hurt is so good but the comfort is even better. plus i love attack roombas.

Favours by dhampir72 - pining from Q's POV. fun fact: my gf once quoted a line of this fic to me and i knew immediately which fic she was reading, that's how much i've read this.

rain by Aniron84 - touch starved Q. god GOD, this fic!! there was a time in my life, i read this multiple times a day. the description of loneliness is so on point it always hurts.

Fidelity by marlowe_tops - Q seems to have picked up a stray. local idiot doesn’t know he’s in a relationship, struggles mentally

Indelible by enjolras_lexa - 5+1 of bond breaking into Q's apartment. quite gentle and funny.

A Hitch in the Holster by APrettySpy - Q is having A Time during a heat wave and like Q i'm not immune to the holster

when the world isn't fair by Mlle_Heloise - James rescues Q's holiday. warm and fluffy.

The Pros and Cons of Wayward Agents by Brihna - Q whump with a protective Bond. is it bad to be all teehee while reading someone beat someone else to unconsciousness

Best Dressed by HandsAcrossTheSea - PWP with kilts! really good p0rn and with bottom Bond to boot!

Through A New Lens: A Spectacular Love Story by christinefromsherwood - Q discovers he has a glasses kink, or does he? listen, i too am not immune to daniel craig in glasses so i can relate.

talk / listen by thestalwartheart - dirty talk. a masterclass in p0rn honestly, SO good.

The Inevitability of Time by dhampir72 - soulmate au. will never stop recommending this, it's so tragic and yet not?

#00Q #rec list #007 #james bond #quartermaster #i did not expect to get obsessed with them again #but honestly #one of the highlights of my year #there's such good fic out there im always well fed #ive read all of these at least 10x each

[brightbertalt]

just please teach me

michael gavey x bimbo!reader

authors note - i can’t resist this man…..he’s so nerdy and hot. also meant for female!reader

warnings - dumbification, kinda mean michael, a little praise, degradation, perv!michael, the word slut, breeding kink, accidental breeding?

god michael couldn’t wait for this.

it was your first tutoring session with him. after your failed your first math test of the semester, you decided to get some help from the smartest man you knew, who also happened to sit next to you.

“hey, you’re like super smart right?”

you asked him, peeking over at the 100% on his test. he turned his head, internally surprised you were even talking to him.

“uh, yeah. yeah i am. do you need help?”

you nodded, pouting and practically shoving your test in his face.

“i can’t even believe it! i got a 53% on this test, it was like, super hard!”

you complained, crossing your arms; which just so happened to push up your breasts. they looked so good in that tight tank top you were wearing.

“you’re asking me to tutor you?”

you scoffed out of frustration.

“duh! i don’t wanna fail!”

he was going to be your tutor. it sounded like music to his ears. michael gavey was going to be personally teaching the cutest girl he knew.

and annoying.

you yourself weren’t annoying, but the fact that someone like you, who probably didn’t even know which direction an x axis pointed, could get into oxford university. probably on a huge helping of daddy’s money is what he thought. unlike him, who actually earned his place. nonetheless, he would tutor you.

he could have some fun with that.

he saw this situation in porn all the time. dumb schoolgirl goes to someone like himself to get help, and they end up fucking like rabbits. he didn’t have any experience with women in person, but he figured porn was close enough to the real thing, right?

he wondered how sweet your voice would sound begging for him.

“sooooo, does my place sound good? i have such a cute setup it’s like, unbelievable! and im free around 6 tonight.”

“yeah, of course. i guess ill be over then..!”

he knocked on your door, trying to stop his hands from shaking. he adjusted his glasses, waiting for you to open the door.

“mikey! you’re here!”

you opened the door and hugged him. he tried not to audibly moan from the sensation of your boobs pushing against him.

“just michael is fine!”

he blurted out, nervous that you were this close to him. would he even be able to survive this night?

“i dont have any extra chairs, so we can just study on my bed! how’s that?”

you asked, walking in your dorm and sitting on your bed.

he wouldn’t be able to survive. you said that so innocently, as if you didn’t understand what two people could do on a bed. as he walked over to your bed, he didn’t expect anything different. it was adorned with pink pillows and a huge fuzzy pink blanket. it was so you.

“the thing I wasn’t really understanding was number seven. i don’t even know where to start!”

he nodded, grabbing his supplies out of his bag. how could she not understand this one? it was the easiest by far. nonetheless, he explained it in the most basic way he could. you nodded, pretending to understand.

“okay, now you try.”

you smiled dumbly, attempting to try it on your own. you stopped shortly thereafter, flipping the pencil in your hand.

“i just don’t get it michael! maybe math just isn’t for me..”

you leaned in closer to him, putting your head on his shoulder. you felt defeated. defeated by some numbers on a page. he sighed in annoyance. he did like this feeling, but he didn’t like your dumb little brain. maybe he could take advantage of that. he only dreamed of that, though. tricking you into pleasing him. giving you a ‘reward’ for finally get 100% on your tests. you’d probably love that too.

“ill probably drop math. its too hard! i dont know how you do it. you’re so smart michael.”

“well you’re not even trying are you? you just have to think, y/n!”

“i am so trying!”

you loosely hugged michael. he could feel himself starting to get hard. why’d you have to be so handsy with him?

“thanks for helping me though! you’re so smart michael.”

he felt himself twitch in his pants. he couldn’t take it anymore. he couldn’t take the teasing anymore.

you felt his lips press against your own soft, glossed lips. he pulled away quickly, already preparing for the worst. you would push him off your bed, throw his bag at him and yell at him to leave. instead, you grabbed his sleeve.

“please don’t leave mikey.”

how could he refuse you?

he moved closer to you, going in for another kiss. you were an aphrodisiac. so irresistible. made for him to fuck.

you shook your head, kissing all over his face.

“it’s totally fine, please just stay here.”

he gently pushed you down onto the bed, kissing and sucking on your neck. fuck, you were so nice. your skin was so soft and plush, and your voice sent him into a spiral.

“is this your first time mikey?”

“y-yeah. i know you probably think that’s pathetic or weird or-“

“mikey. please just fuck me. i don’t care.”

those were the sweetest words he ever heard. he could cum right then and there.

“god, fuck, can i ask you something?”

he asked.

“are you on birth control?”

you shook your head. fuck, for some reason that was even hotter.

“ill pull out, don’t worry.”

you nodded, noticeably absentminded. you were so dumb, and it was so cute to him. he was known around campus for his smarts and talent in math. and now he had, which was quite possibly, the dumbest girl at his university under his thumb. it felt so good.

“i trust you mikey.”

he smirked as he pressed continuous kisses into your neck and chest, experimentally pushing his hands underneath your cute tank top and groping your breasts. you whined underneath him, taking your top and yanking it over your head to expose your chest.

“you’re so cute. just let me take care of you, okay?”

he licked and sucked on your chest, trailing his way down your body until he got to your little cute shorts. god this boy was a freak. you helped him get your shorts off of you, exposing your bare cunt to him. you squeezed your legs together, a feeble attempt in covering yourself.

“why be shy now? you already teased me for half the semester.”

you nodded at his remark, leaning your head back. he teased, kissing up your thighs. michael’s smirk was criminal as he placed a gentle kiss on your pussy. you bucked your hips and moaned on him. he gently prodded your entrance with his long fingers, slowly inserting two of them inside you. he chuckled as he moved his fingers in and out.

“mikey i-“

“you’re what? wet as a bloody fountain? because you are.”

you let out a pornstar-esque moan and feebly grabbed in his direction. you needed him inside you.

“mikey please just fuck me! please!”

you shouted out, rocking your hips into his fingers gently. he grinned and stood up to take off his pants, as well as unzipping his coat.

“i don’t get it.”

you said bluntly, looking up at him.

“what?”

“your shirt. I don’t get it.”

you pointed to his shirt.

‘not all math puns are awful. just sum.’

you shared a moment of brief awkwardness.

“it’s like how the result of an addition-“

“i didn’t ask for more math! just come over here michael!”

he quickly nodded and took off his stupid shirt, leaving it on the floor next to the bed. he climbed over you, giving you a quick kiss on the cheek.

“are you sure?”

“please just do it already mikey!”

you whined. he always knew you were bratty. he would love to put you in your place though. he slid himself into you, gasping at the warmth and tightness of your pussy. he slowly slid all the way in, swearing under his breath as he did. you were definitely made for him. so warm, so soft, so perfect. he placed a hand on your lower stomach, feeling himself inside you.

“you’re so warm holy fuck, I can’t believe im inside you right now.”

he blurted out, slowly starting to move. michael was definitely a little above average. so goes the trope of nerdy white guys. the largeness of him made you feel so full, so stuffed. you couldn’t handle it already. tears pricked at your eyes as you slung your legs onto his shoulders. michael wasted no time fucking himself into you, letting out all sorts of lewd noises.

“can’t believe im the one doing this. always thought you’d be with someone like felix, fuck.”

he grabbed at your hips, guiding you up and down on his cock. another loud, indecent moan was let out of you.

“im the one fucking you, no one else gets to have this dumb little cunt.”

he tilted his head up, overwhelmed with pleasure.

“im all yours mikey, please just keep fucking me!”

you cried, grabbing onto his hands on your hips. he grabbed your right hand with his left, pressing it right next to your head. his face was right next to yours as well now.

“nothing in that stupid head, huh? nothin’ but me fucking you right now. i always knew you were so simple.”

you clenched around him, leaving him to chuckle under his breath.

“you like that? me calling you dumb? knew you were a slut.”

michael’s smartass attitude definitely never left him. you shook your head unconvincingly. you did like it, but being a brat was so fun.

“i know you like it. you already feel like you’re gonna cum on me. poor little thing. probably forget everything you learned this semester just from this.”

he said with fake sympathy. it was true, you were close. you could feel his thrusts getting more erratic and needy, so you knew he was too. you just remembered you were supposed to have a math lesson today. oh well. you could always just google the answers.

“I don’t think im gonna be able to pull out, you’re so fucking warm and tight I can’t-“

you immediately came to your senses. you were admittedly dumb, but not dumb enough to let michael cum in you.

“michael please pull out-“

“i- fuck!���

he abruptly came inside you, his jaw slack as he aggressively rammed his hips into yours a few more times. the sensation of his filling you up was too much, and your orgasm shortly followed. he collapsed on top of you, breathing heavily.

“im so sorry y/n, you just-“

“ill figure it out mikey, just hold me.”

and he did. he laid on his side as he traced his thumb on your belly. you fell asleep soon thereafter, together.

#fanfic #fanfiction #saltburn #saltburn x reader #michael gavey #michael gavey x reader #saltburn smut #michael gavey smut #ewan mitchell

[circeius-invidioso]

Today. 👏🏻

We I give an answer to a question you never asked.

And no I don't mean the minis. I mean the actual armor. If it was real, how much would it approximately cost to paint?

So first things first. Lets explain our variables.

(The board bas been censored to avoid spoilers)

We have on the first column the name of each primarch.

The second we have how much 1kg of pigment costs. Note that each Primarch has a different pigment thus different cost.

Third is the 1.5 kg. With the power of math I concluded that each primarch would need 1.5kg of pigment to have their armor painted. (We will assume that all primarchs armors will have the same sqft of surface that needs to be coated).

Forth is the fixed cost. That is the general cost for supplies, coat, varnish etc. Again we will assume that this cost is the same for everyone because I like being sane.

And finally we have the total cost. We add the add the 1.5 kg cost with the fixed cost.

Corvus / 3048,075 €

Russ / 3066,945 €

Fulgrim / 3202,605 €

Perturabo / 3211,875 €

Magnus / 3251.85 €

Perturabo's armor paintjob costs a lot more than Fulgrim's. So that's that.

Vulkan / 3309,04 €

Omegon / 3310,71 €

Konrad / 3334,8 €

Lorgar / 3398,34 €

It's not a huge bump in cost. Still very much rational. It's just the paintjob right? They have to redo it all the time.

Right?

Alpharius / 3405,21 €

Ferrus / 3410,715 €

Mortarion / 3410,715 €

Horus / 3461,535 €

Lion / 3674,73 €

Angron / 3741,75 €

Sanguinius / 3957,39 €

So far the numbers are pretty tame. Except angel boy who was so close to breaking the 4k mark.

But...

We are missing two people here...

On the number 2 of the most expensive armor paintjob we have...

A round of applause please.

Roboute / 45091,5 €

No. You saw correctly. The lord of Ultramar needs to spend 45k to paint his armor.

Where did that number come from?

Fun fact.

The original ultramarine was lapis lazuli. The precious gemstone. And let me tell you something about lapiz pigment...

It's expensive. 💸💸💸

But let's not wait any further.

On number one we have...

Dorn / 95346 €

Yes.

95k just to paint his armor.

My man...

My myth...

My legend...

Every time he goes to a crusade one planet's taxes need to be spent just for his armor to stay nice and painted.

The lesson of this long ass post?

There is none, besides

Dorn and Guilliman are two high maintenance fatherlovers.

#warhammer #warhammer 40000 #warhammer 40k #wh40k #primarchs #shitpost #warhammer 30k #horus heresy #games workshop #black library #all numbers are approximates

[jjwantsme]

trouble is my middle name

j.m

pairing: jj maybank x girlfriend!pogue!reader

summary: in which y/n decides to leave her boyfriend alone for just a few minutes, and it results in nothing but chaos.

warnings: psychical fighting, an angry but HOT jj, bestfriend!sarah, cussing, mentions of sex, fem reader, let me know if i missed anything!

authors note: jj is so boyfriend for this. you’re welcome

masterlist

“Dude,” JJ laughed, an arm tight around y/n’s waist as he laughed at something pope said, “you’re so full of shit!”

“No, i’m not! What makes you think I can’t do a backflip?” Pope argued back as he rested his forearms on his knees.

“Uh, you were on the math team?!” The blondie laughed in the other boys face, getting distracted when he felt his girlfriend move away from his arm.

He was always like this at parties, always keeping an arm around her or a hand holding hers.

It wasn’t that he didn’t trust her when she wasn’t around him, of course he trusted her- more than he’s ever trusted anyone before.

He just knew that there were weird people out there, perverted people. And he didn’t want his honey to become a victim to their perverted ways.

“Hey, babe, where you going?” JJ quickly asked y/n before she could get too far. “Oh! I was gonna go hang out with sarah, she texted me and told me to meet her in the bathroom. Is that okay?” She smiled up at him with her sweet eyes, wrapping one of her hands around his.

JJ returned the sweet smile, “of course, baby.”

He leaned in to give her a lingering goodbye kiss, y/n humming lightly into it when she could taste the beer on his lips.

She giggled as she pulled away, “on second thought , maybe i shouldn’t leave you alone. You’ve obviously had too much to drink…”

JJ immediately scoffed, “Pft, I’m fine. Go have fun, pretty girl.”

Y/n grinned and gave him one last peck on his red lips, before walking towards where she knew sarah would be.

JJ smiled as he watched her go, just admiring his little angel. He still couldn’t believe she let him start dating her.

In his mind, y/n was 𝗯𝗲𝘆𝗼𝗻𝗱 out of his league.

She was too pretty, too smart. He was sure she would be valedictorian by the end of the school year- she was the most intelligent person he’d ever met, outdoing pope by miles.

It’s not like JJ was an insecure person, he was definitely over confident. Before he fell for y/n, people described him as a player, being able to kill with his looks.

He just knew a good thing when he got it, and y/n was one of those things.

His state of admiration was cut short when he heard a whistle from behind him, one that he hoped wasn’t towards his girlfriend.

“Damn, look at that ass!”

JJ’s face became red with rage, steam practically coming out of his ears as he turned around.

“Oh, shit.” Pope mumbled, preparing to call y/n back as he knew a fight was about to happen.

Typical party with JJ.

JJ grabbed the ignorant kook by the collar of his shirt, gripping it tight, “What the fuck did you just say about my girlfriend?!”

“Chill, man, i was just saying, it’s a nice-“

He didn’t even get to finish his crude sentence before JJ clocked him right in the face.

Meanwhile, y/n stood in the bathroom doing sarah’s hair, still oblivious to the perverted comment that was previously made towards her.

“Hey, do you hear that? Sounds like a fight…” sarah spoke as she heard commotion from the other side of the door, making y/n pause her movements.

Oh, fuck.

“Goddamn it, J,” y/n mumbled before heading out already knowing the fight would somehow involve her drunk boyfriend.

And she was right, immediately seeing her boyfriend getting separated from some random kook as he spit out blood from his mouth.

For a mere second, as John B and pope held him back, he caught her eye and smiled at her; making her weak in the knees, despite the fact she was mad at his aggressive mannerisms.

“2 minutes,” y/n spoke sternly as she wiped off blood from JJ’s chin with a makeup wipe, “I left you alone for 2 minutes, JJ!”

JJ probably shouldn’t admit this, but man, did it turn him on to see his girlfriend get all feisty on him like this.

“Look, baby, I’m sorry, okay?” JJ sighed, “But i don’t regret what i did! He was being a total jackass.”

“I don’t care what he did, JJ, violence isn’t-“

“He talked about you! In a…weird way. Like, about your body.”

“Oh.” Y/n’s eyes softened as she bit her lip, “you got into a fight over me?”

JJ scoffed, “Damn right, and I’ll do it again!”

Now, y/n probably shouldn’t admit 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀, but knowing her boyfriend gave someone a bloody nose for her, was definitely turning her on.

She didn’t need to admit it, though, instead she just kissed him, making him wrap his arms around her waist.

Boy, were they in for a long night.

#jjwantsme #jj mayback imagine #jj mayback x reader #jj maybank #jj maybank fanfiction #jj maybank fic #jj maybank fluff #jj maybank imagine #jj maybank smut #jj maybank x reader #jj maybank x reader smut #jj maybank x y/n #jj maybank x you #jj obx #outer banks

[wip]

A very very minor thing I have been curious about for a while, and I'm finally asking: why do you calculate queue posting times the way you do? For example, if I set my queue to post 3x a day, naively I would expect it to post every 8 hours. But in reality it posts every 6 hours with a 12 hour gap between days. Why complicate the math like that?

Answer: Hello @circumference-pie!

Buckle up y’all, it’s story time again!

First: nobody who works at Tumblr right now was a part of the work of planning the default queue implementation, which was more than ten years ago. So the full story behind “Why does it work that way?” has unfortunately been lost to the sands of time. All we can do is tell you how it works today and surmise some reasons why. The queue is actually a very clever system and part of how it works explains some of why it works the way it does. Also, there have been attempts to do what you ask—we still have “Queue 2.0” available in your Tumblr Labs settings, which tries to get closer to how you expect things to work.

Anyway! How the queue works today is not actually a queue in the traditional sense. There is no single list of posts that are in “your queue”. Instead, when you “Add to queue” after creating a post, we’re actually scheduling it to post at a future time, as if you had used the “Schedule post” option instead. We’re just calculating that time on your behalf when you use “Add to queue”, based on your settings, and how many other scheduled posts you have already. We use a secondary “index” model, called “ScheduledPost”, to keep track of posts you have scheduled on your blog. We do mark the ones that are a part of “your queue”, but the data model doesn’t keep one list of your “queue” per se.

You can see this in action on your blog, hiding in plain sight. If you add a bunch of posts to your queue, and then schedule a post for a specific future date, you’ll see both in your blog’s “queue” list, side by side. Because technically to us, they’re the same thing: queued posts are really just another kind of scheduled post, relying on the same always-running service to publish scheduled posts across all of Tumblr. Here’s a fun fact: we typically have about ~14.5 million future posts to publish from this list at any given time and are publishing hundreds of these scheduled posts every second.

So when you’re adding a new post to your queue, what we’re doing behind the scenes is starting at the beginning of your “day”, and creating time slots based on your queue settings. If a time slot is already filled, we move on to the next one. That’s why the default queue scheduler works how you describe—we’re trying to fill those “slots” based on the start of the day, rather than trying to divide the calendar day evenly. This just makes it much simpler for us to understand, scale, and predict when our “peaks” will be. At peak times, the publish-scheduled-posts service is publishing tens of thousands of posts in a manner of seconds. We did rewrite that post-publishing part of this architecture a few years ago to improve its efficiency and solve a lot of “lost post” bugs, but we didn’t change how “Add to queue” works.

However, the Queue 2.0 project available in Labs was an attempt to change the queue system to work as you expect—instead of starting at [beginning of day] and creating enough slots to fit [number of slots] every [number of hours], it tries to divide the calendar day into [number of slots] and fit the result back to the original algorithm’s mapping of the day. We never productionized this alternative approach, because it has a few bugs that some blogs hit in extreme cases, and we’ve never had time to fully fix them. It also can cause a bit of weirdness when time zones diverge, like with daylight savings time. Also, a lot of people prefer the default algorithm, and we haven’t thought of a nice way to transition everyone from one to the other. So for now, both options exist, and you can choose which algorithm for queue-slot-generating you want to use. We hope that makes sense! 

While complicated, it is a great example of a system built by engineers to make sense and be scalable and predictable. But sometimes these kinds of systems, while clever, aren’t very intuitive to understand without digging into how they work.

Thanks for your question, and keep ’em coming. 

#feature #posting #queue #backend

[roosterforme]

Batting Practice Part 31 | Rooster x Reader

Summary: Nothing melts Bradley's heart quite like Everett's excitement for his upcoming adoption. While the three of you count down to the big day, there are unexpected houseguests to deal with and neverending happiness to absorb. 

Warnings: Fluff, angst, swearing, smut

Length: 5200 words

Pairing: Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x Female single!mom Reader

Check my masterlist for more Top Gun fun! Batting Practice masterlist.

"Mom! Dad!" Everett shouted, running up the sidewalk when Molly arrived to drop him off at home on Monday evening. "Aunt Molly said I'm getting a baby cousin in March!"

Bradley watched as Molly hustled along the sidewalk behind Everett, and he went to meet her to get his soon to be son's overnight bag. "Thanks for watching him for the weekend," Bradley said, looping the bag over his shoulder while he thought about how sexy you'd looked in Palm Springs wearing your collar and leash. Then he glanced at where you were giving Everett a big hug on the front porch, and he thought about how hot you were even in full mom mode.

"We had fun," Molly said, stifling a yawn. "Bob took him on a hike, and then we did math problems with gummy bears. He's all ready to start second grade." Then she grinned at Bradley and said, "You owe me one for packing your wife's weekend bag with you in mind."

Bradley grunted, cracking his knuckles to try to keep his composure. Only about two more hours until Everett was in bed for the night and he could have his Kitten all to himself. "Yeah, I definitely owe you one."

Molly clasped her hands in front of her baby bump, clearly very pleased that he had enjoyed his wedding gift. Then she bent to kiss Everett and tell him goodbye. "I'll call you after your first day of school tomorrow, Ev. Love you."

"Bye, Aunt Molly!" Everett waved as Bradley's sister-in-law drove away.

Bradley scooped Everett up in his arms and followed you inside. While he had enjoyed the two nights away with you immensely, he missed Ev's laugh and his smile so much. "Pancakes for dinner? And then I'll show you the baseball jersey we got for you in Palm Springs?"

"Yes!" Everett cheered. And then as he helped Bradley mix some chocolate chips into the pancake batter with a spoon, he asked, "Did you adopt me yet?"

"Oh," Bradley grunted, pausing to really look at Ev. Wide, sincere eyes looked back up at him. He thought back to the very first day of tee ball, remembering just how much he really liked talking to Everett right from the start. How he only grew to appreciate him more and more. And he let himself feel all of the overwhelming love right now that he had for this kid. "I wish, Ev. Your mom has to call some people first, and make a few appointments. It might take a few weeks." Bradley didn't want to tell him that it might be next year before anything was finalized.

"Okay," he replied, and his shoulders slumped with dejection. "But I thought it would be cool to tell everyone at school tomorrow that I got a dad over the summer."

Bradley wrapped him in a hug and just held him for a few seconds. "You can still tell them that. I'm your dad, for sure, kiddo. It doesn't matter if it's not official yet."

"Okay," Everett whispered against Bradley's chest. "But when can I write my name is Everett Bradshaw?"

Anything. Anything in the world. Bradley would do anything for this kid. As he held him and thought about how much his life had changed, he figured the fact that he would do whatever it took to make Everett feel happy and loved was enough to make him a good dad. He'd learn all the other details over time. He would probably make more mistakes and inadvertently teach Ev more bad words. But he would do anything for him.

Bradley kissed the top of his head. "Not quite yet. But you know what? You and your mom can probably both start using Bradshaw for your last name around the same time, so that's good, right?" he asked, his voice not much more than a harsh whisper. Everett hugged him tighter, and Bradley didn't ever want to let go, because he found as much comfort in these hugs as Ev seemed to.

And then that was when you walked into the kitchen to find Bradley with tears in his eyes as Everett clung to him.

"I thought we were trying on our new jerseys?" you asked, and Bradley pulled you into the hug as well. 

He smothered your face in kisses before he said, "That's for after dinner. And then we're gonna pack Ev's bag for school and watch Toy Story. But first just let me hold you both."

------------------------

The next day was pure chaos. Everett begged Bradley to drop him off at school on his way to North Island, and on your way to work, you answered your phone when you saw that Molly was calling. She was crying.

"What's wrong?" you asked her, trying to navigate your way through traffic, thinking you may have to turn around and head to her condo. 

"Bob's being deployed," she sobbed, and your heart clenched. 

"When?"

"In a few weeks," she said, sniffling into the phone. "I can't do this without him."

You assumed she meant she couldn't handle her pregnancy on her own, but when you tried to ask, she just cried louder. You could barely understand what she was saying, and you already knew you were going to have to have a conversation with Bradley about having her stay at your house. 

"Molly, it's going to be okay. You'll be great, and I'll be around to help you. And so will Bradley."

She laughed through her tears. "My turd-in-law likes me now, because I didn't pack any real clothing for your honeymoon."

You rolled your eyes. "He has always liked you. I think that just made him like you more. Let me call you back later tonight?"

"Okay." Molly's voice was soft and small as you ended the call, and you hated hearing her like that. But you had other important things to take care of. 

As you parked your car and made your way into your office, you rolled your eyes at Frank. You had bigger things to deal with than him. Once you were settled at your desk, you debated with yourself about which phone call to make first: Danny or your lawyer. You decided on Danny, and when he answered after seven rings with a groggy hello, you got right to the point.

"Any chance you were planning on responding to the petition I sent you for child support?"

You could practically hear him rolling his eyes, and now you were thankful you caught him first thing in the morning. "I have one hundred and twenty days to comply. And that's according to my expensive lawyer that you're forcing me to pay for. I hope you realize that this would mean there's less money for Everett."

Now you were the one rolling your eyes. "It's already been months, Danny."

"I have one hundred and twenty days," he reiterated, practically snarling at you through the phone. "You'll hear more about it when I'm good and ready. I still can't believe you're trying to destroy my life like this. You weren't money hungry prior to a few months ago. And I could still have that tee ball boyfriend of yours charged for entering my home without permission."

"He's my husband now," you said, keeping your voice as steady as possible. 

"Good for you," he replied with a sarcastic chuckle. 

"You're right. It's very good for me," you said, raising your voice over his horrible laughter. "I was just calling to let you know that you're about to be served with some papers that will negate the child support petition. And if you don't comply with what I want, I'll drag you through the legal system until you're out of money."

The line went silent, and you had to bite your tongue, forcing him to be the first one to speak again. "What the fuck do you want?" 

You took a deep breath and thought about your husband and your son and your sister and how much love was in your life now. "I would like to give you exactly what you hoped for: nothing. I can remove Everett and myself from your life completely if you agree to do something for me."

After another long pause, Danny said, "Name your terms."

----------------------------

Bradley was anxious to learn how your conversation with your lawyer had gone. But when he got home, it was just you there in your little black skirt and high heels, standing in the kitchen sipping a bottle of tequila. 

"Whoa," he said, rushing toward you and taking the bottle out of your hand. But you were smiling. 

"I was going to make us some margaritas, but I got carried away," you whispered, wrapping your arms around his neck and kissing him. Bradley tasted the tang of the liquor on your lips and tongue. 

"Does this mean you have good news, Kitten?" He was holding you tight to him, forehead pressed to yours as he waited, hoping to hear what would make him happier than anything else right now. 

"What are you doing eight weeks from today?" you asked, raking your fingers gently along his scalp. 

"Baby, if you don't tell me right now that I get to adopt Ev in eight weeks, I'm going to cry."

You smiled and pressed your lips to his. "You get to adopt Ev eight weeks from today. We have the date set at the courthouse."

"How?" he asked as his eyes filled with tears. "How did I get this lucky? In less than a week, I got myself a wife and a court date!"

He wasn't sure how he could be this happy and also be crying so much. But when you told him that you got Danny to agree to your terms, he had to wipe away his tears even though he was smiling. 

"Where's Ev now?" he asked, kissing along your neck, overcome with so much relief.

"Molly picked him up from school. She's going to bring him home after dinner."

"So, we're alone?" he asked, smiling against the curve of your jaw and hiking up your skirt. "We're alone. Until I invite Molly to come stay with us while Bob is deployed."

Bradley's hand's froze on the bare backs of your thighs. "I'm sorry, what?"

You kissed and nipped at his lips, but he pulled a few inches away from you. "Bob is being deployed."

"Yeah," he replied. "I got that part."

You rolled your eyes and started to unzip his flight suit. "And Molly is going to be lonely and overwhelmed, and I think she might want to come here for a few weeks."

Bradley groaned. "You can't follow up the good news about Everett with this devastating announcement, Kitten."

"Bradley!" you scolded, playfully smacking his chest as he yanked your skirt up until he was palming your ass. 

"All I'm saying is that Molly is like this annoying little sister that I never wanted, and even though I do love her, she's going to cramp our style, Baby."

"How so?" you asked, easing your hand down the front of his flight suit and stroking his cock. 

"She'll have to sleep in the Phillies room," he whispered. "You know that's where we've been having our quickies."

"Hmm, you're right about that, Coach. Think I could change your mind with a blowjob?"

Bradley grunted and thrust against your hand. He tilted your chin up and kissed you. "Your lips on my cock could get me to agree to anything, and you know it."

You nodded at him with all the confidence in the world before you sank to your knees.

------------------------

Spending several weeks waiting was not ideal. Everett was asking nearly every day if it was almost November yet. Now it was barely October, but the three of you had gotten into a routine. Bradley made breakfast every morning while you packed lunches. Then he dropped Everett off at school, and you went to work a little early. When you picked Everett up from school, most days it was just so he could rush through his homework and dinner and spend an hour or two at the park playing and practicing baseball with Bradley. 

Your husband was true to his promises. And he seemed to like practicing baseball as much as Everett did. When you joined them one day, the October air was cool enough to trick you into believing you could be somewhere besides southern California. And Everett was hitting Bradley's pitches so hard, it was unbelievable. 

"I thought you were the famous Bradshaw?" you called out, teasing Bradley before he threw a pitch. "Don't you pitch for the Navy league? That second grader is kicking your butt."

He glared at you out of the corner of his eye and then dropped his ball and glove and chased you until he caught you in his arms. Your laughter was so loud as he kissed you and tickled you, and you tried to get away, but he was too strong. 

"I take it back! I take it back!" you gasped, out of breath from laughing. "You're amazing! The best pitcher I've ever seen."

He conceded by hugging you from behind instead of tickling you. Then he whispered, "I'm not even kidding, Kitten, he's so fucking good at baseball." Then he kissed you one last time and returned to pitch a slider to Everett who looked permanently happy these days. And when he hit the pitch easily, you realized you were permanently happy, too.

But that night, you had to deal with the thing you knew was coming at some point. It was late, and you were in bed with Bradley's mouth on your pussy. You were close, so so so close. But your phone kept ringing softly on your nightstand, and you could tell it was Molly by the ringtone. 

"Don't answer it," Bradley grunted, licking a long stripe from your opening to your clit. "You can call her back when I'm done with you."

So you laced your fingers through his pretty curls and rode his face, whining his name as your phone started ringing again. Bradley slowed down his tempo, just like he knew you needed, and when he wrapped his lips around your clit, that prickle of his mustache on your sensitive skin sent you. He squeezed your thighs as you planted your feet, and you came so hard, you were seeing stars. Your knee was shaking. He was unrelenting. Your vision blurred every time you blinked, but a beat later, Bradley's body was wrenched away from yours, and he was out the bedroom door and at the top of the steps with a baseball bat in his hand. 

Then you heard Molly's soft voice calling up from the bottom of the stairs. "I'm sorry. It's just me."

You tried to scramble for your clothing, but you realized Bradley had undressed you over by the bathroom. And then you realized that he was standing there in his snug underwear with a massive erection, holding the bat like he was about to take someone's head off with it. He must have heard Molly let herself in the house. 

As you located your clothing on the floor, Bradley lowered the bat, nodded and said, "Your sister's here."

"Thanks," you told him, yanking your panties on and slipping into his undershirt. You kissed him quickly as you rushed down the stairs and into the living room where she was standing with a tote bag and a bouquet of those hideous flowers she liked so much. She was crying softly. 

"I can't," she whispered, and you wrapped your arms around her. "I can't stay there alone another night. I hate being away from Bob. You know what he did? He got the guy from the gas station to deliver the flowers to me today, because it's the six month anniversary of the first time he said he loved me."

"Oh, Molly," you whispered, kissing her forehead. 

"He set this shit up before he left!" she wailed. "I don't even know what he's doing today, because I haven't talked to him in a week. A week! And now I interrupted you having sex, and I can tell Bradley's mad at me."

You held her close. "He's not mad at you, Molly. He just thought you were a burglar or something."

"I'm sorry," she moaned, holding the flowers out to the side so they didn't get crushed. Her belly felt like it had gotten bigger since the last time you saw her, and you patted her there which made her smile. 

"Stop apologizing. You can stay with us until Bob gets back." You really should have run that past Bradley before you made such a bold declaration, but you knew he wouldn't fuss too much. Probably. So you coaxed Molly into letting you put the flowers in a vase in the kitchen, and then you led her upstairs to where Bradley was wearing a full set of pajamas and brushing his teeth in your bathroom. 

"Coach?" you called out to him softly, and he made eye contact with you in the mirror. "She's going to stay with us." You weren't really asking, and he didn't look upset. He just nodded and then spit out the toothpaste.

"I figured," he said, rinsing his mouth and drying his hands. He kissed you and pulled you in for a hug before adding, "I'll go sleep in the Phillies room for the night. Just tonight. That way you can talk to her so she can fall asleep. But after tomorrow morning, it's all red and white and the letter P everywhere for your sister. I don't fucking care how much she misses Bob. Got it?"

"Got it," you told him with a smile. "You're the best husband in the world."

"I know," he said with a grumble, but he was smiling too. And when he passed Molly in the hallway, she was still holding one of the flowers. He kissed her on the forehead without saying anything else, and then he walked into the Phillies room as Molly climbed in bed with you.

--------------------------

Everett was up so early on Halloween, Bradley needed to drink two cups of coffee just to keep up with him. "If you're this excited now, I don't know if it's a good idea for you to be collecting copious amounts of candy later." He raised the mug to his lips again as you and Molly walked into the kitchen. 

The three of you watched Everett bounce over to the white board on the refrigerator and update it to say that there were just ten days left until his adoption. That meant that Bob would be home in nine days. That also meant that Molly would be out of here in nine days or less, and that did indeed bring a smile to Bradley's face. 

It wasn't that he didn't like Molly. He actually loved her. Everett was obsessed with his Aunt Molly, and she loved spending time with him. She was fun and witty, and it brought Bradley joy to pick on her. But she was also messy, and she was eating all of their food, and he couldn't walk around in his underwear as much as he had gotten used to. 

But last night, she'd happily taken Everett out for dinner and to the movies for a few hours with Bradley's credit card. And you'd worn your collar and leash for him along with your cat ears and tail, and holy shit, he needed to stop thinking about it right now.

"Morning, Kitten," he grunted as he poured you some coffee. 

"Ten more days!" Everett shouted.

"Nine more days!" Molly shouted.

But you bit your lip and pulled a piece of mail out of the tray on the counter. "I thought it would be more fun to open this when we were all together," you said, tearing into the envelope and holding up your new social security card. "But I'm officially a Bradshaw."

"Yes!" Bradley whooped, hoisting you up into his arms as you squealed. Molly and Ev did an obnoxious dance across the kitchen as Bradley kissed your neck and ear while you chanted Bradshaw, Bradshaw.

"Everett will be next! I'm buying us one of those stupid flags people hang from their porch with their last name on it, I don't even care," you said as Bradley set you down, and his lips found yours.

"I love you, Kitten."

That evening, as the four of you got ready to go trick-or-treating, Bradley pulled on his Navy Waves uniform and then buttoned you into one of his Phillies jerseys.

"You'll have to borrow this until we can get you some Phillies gear of your own, Mrs. Bradshaw. Don't spill anything on this one," he muttered. "It's vintage."

You rolled your eyes so hard and then said, "No eating chocolate in it then?"

"No, no, no, absolutely no chocolate. This belonged to my dad."

"Oh," you gasped as he did up the last button. "Then I can't wear it tonight! It's too special."

You reached for the buttons, but Bradley stopped you with his larger hands. "Nah, it's okay, Kitten. Ol' Goose would have wanted you to wear it. I think he'd be happy to see me with you and Ev right now." Actually, Bradley knew both of his parents would have loved you and adored Everett. It was hard for him to think about the way Carole would have doted on her grandson. 

The look of awe on your face as you said, "Thank you. No chocolate," made Bradley chuckle. 

Then Molly's booming voice in the hallway had you pulling the door open to reveal her standing there dressed as a pregnant umpire. "Are you ready to rumble?!" she shouted into a bullhorn that had you and Bradley covering your ears while Everett chanted and cheered. 

"Baseball umpires don't use bullhorns! And they don't say that!" Bradley shouted over the ruckus, but when he reached for it, Molly yanked it away from him. 

"This one does," she said into the speaker, and Bradley thought one of them might not make it back tonight. 

But it was so hard to be annoyed when the four of you looked like you were ready to play baseball. And then Bradley had you take a photo of him kneeling down on the porch next to Everett dressed as a Phillies player. The photo was so sweet, he immediately set it as his lock screen. 

"Are we ready to go?" Molly asked using the bullhorn, and Bradley gritted his teeth. "Ev, that's a foul for looking so cute in your Halloween costume. You owe me a Snickers bar for that."

"That's not what umpires do," Bradley ground out, digging around in the massive bowl of candy that you had set on the porch steps, searching for the only thing that might make Molly stop.

"And my sister gets a red card for leaving the candy on the porch," she added through the speaker. "That'll get stolen by the first kid that comes by. Rookie mistake. I used to do that with my friends."

You just shook your head as Bradley said, "There aren't even red cards-"

But Molly turned the horn toward him. "And Bradley gets a foul for being a turd."

But then his fingers wrapped around the king sized Hershey's bar and he waved it in her face. "I'll trade you this for the bullhorn, Molly. Make good decisions."

She eyed him with trepidation, but he knew that candy was her weakness now more than ever. She'd finished a whole bag of fun sized Kit Kats two nights ago, and Bradley had to go to Target to replenish the Halloween supply. When Molly lunged for the Hershey's bar, Bradley quickly grabbed the bullhorn and shoved it discreetly into the shrubs as she immediately opened the wrapper. 

And after that, he had a pretty great night. Everett collected three pillowcases full of candy, and Molly ate it along the way while she repeatedly yelled, "Strike three, you're out!" every time Bradley tried to give you a kiss. But he was happy that Molly was having a night where she wasn't constantly thinking about Bob. 

"Can we get a family photo next to that huge inflatable pumpkin?" you asked, pointing at the lawn decoration in front of the last house on the street. Everett went running for the pumpkin, all hopped up on sugar. 

"Yep," Bradley said, pulling his phone out of his pocket. Molly held her hand out to take it from him, but he shook his head. "You need to be in the family photo, too." So he flagged down another dad who agreed to take the picture for them, and you slipped your arm around his waist and gave him a kiss just after the photo was taken.

"Thanks, Coach," you whispered, your soft voice right next to his ear. 

"Thanks, turd," Molly told him, trying to hide the tears she was swiping at as she turned to chase Everett down the sidewalk yelling about interference and personal fouls. 

But it was after everyone got home and Everett and Molly were sound asleep that Bradley's night got even better. He was tired, he really was, but as soon as you very carefully unbuttoned and removed his vintage Phillies jersey, you looked at him and licked your lips. 

"Kitten?" he asked softly, his cock already very interested in what might be happening next. 

You closed your eyes and said, "I bought something I wanted to try on for you."

Bradley groaned, ready to beg. "Yes," he grunted, and you were pushing him toward the bed as he got undressed down to his underwear. 

"Close your eyes. No peeking," you whispered, turning on the soft bedside lamp and turning off the overhead light. So he closed his eyes and listened to you flitting around the room, opening drawers and the closet door. His hand was down the front of his boxer shorts, and he was stroking himself when he felt your warm lips meet his. He moaned softly, "Can I look yet, Kitten?"

Once you were straddling his waist, your ass rubbing his cock through his underwear, you whispered, "My name is Lieutenant Kitten," and his eyes opened immediately. You were wearing his khaki uniform shirt, complete with his Bradshaw name tag. His favorite pair of aviators were perched low on your nose, and his dog tags were tucked between your breasts, hidden by the shirt. 

"You're the sexiest naval officer I have ever seen," Bradley promised, skimming his rough fingertips down your soft thigh, bent knee and calf. He smirked as you raised his hand to your lips and kissed his wedding band. "Lieutenant Kitten."

As you leaned forward to kiss his lips, Bradley noticed some dark green lace peeking out from the collar of the khaki shirt, and he started working on the buttons as you licked the seam of his lips. 

He felt the fabric before he saw it. You were covered in green lace from your tits down to your pussy, and he was already nudging it to the side, dying to know how wet you were. 

"You're in charge, Lieutenant," he whispered, his voice harsh. "What would you like me to do?" 

"You better make me cum."

He moaned as you lifted your hips, and he slipped that finger right inside you. So warm and silky. The bodysuit fit you like a dream, and you were leaning back, hands on his thighs, letting him watch your pussy sink down around two of his fingers now. You were rolling your hips slowly, making Bradley throb, but he was determined to give you exactly what you wanted first. 

God, had you ever been this wet before? You were practically dripping. "Does that feel good, Lieutenant?" he asked. 

"Keep going. Keep going." 

With three fingers now inside you and his thumb on your clit, Bradley worked you over at a leisurely pace that had him almost in a trance. The way you were moving looked obscene, like he was viewing something so sexy, so filthy, it was taboo. He was barely moving his hand now, just listening to your little grunts and moans as they got louder while you fucked yourself on his hand.

"God damn," he whispered, tapping your clit softly each time you withdrew to his fingertips, earning him a little gasp. 

"Bradley," you whined, getting a little louder now as you tilted your head forward to look him in the eye. Your grip tightened on his thighs, and his cock was demanding a fair share of your body, but he could tell you were close to orgasm. 

"Baby," he whined, your slick coating him and glistening as you rocked your body forward one, two, three more times, and then your pussy clenched, grabbing at his fingers. "Fuck."

"Oh my god!" you whined, lips parted, gasping as you jerked yourself along his fingers.

"I need to fuck you," he said, nodding his head. "Please?"

"Yes," you gasped, easing yourself onto your back, legs spread wide. He pushed that little bit of green lace to the side and coated his cock with the wetness on his hand, and then he fucked you. And he fucked you so hard, your back arched. And then he fucked you even harder, your tits bouncing free of the bodysuit while he shoved his still slick fingers into your mouth to keep you quiet.

He didn't last; he knew he wouldn't. Not with you in brand new lingerie and his shirt. Not with the chain of his dog tags tangled up with your paw print necklace. He filled you up with his cum as he leaned down, easing his fingers out of your mouth and replacing them with his tongue. Everything was back to that languid pace you'd set earlier as you dragged your fingers through his hair and tasted his mouth. 

Bradley pulled away to look at your pretty face, and you smiled as you ran your fingers along the scars on his cheek. "Did you enjoy your Halloween, Coach?"

With a kiss to the tip of your nose, Bradley pulled himself free from your body and collected you against his chest. He carefully leaned back against his pillow, holding you close with you still in his khaki shirt. "I did," he said thoughtfully, rubbing your arm. "I...well, I know it's kind of silly, but the last time I spent a Halloween with my dad was when I was three, and now I'm a dad."

"That's not silly," you told him. "And you're not just any dad. You're the best."

He held you tight. "You think Ev is going to make us dress as baseball players again next year?"

"Oh, one hundred percent."

---------------------------

Just two more parts left now! Thanks so much for reading! If there's something for Coach, Kitten and Ev that you're hoping to see, hit me up. Thanks to @beyondthesefourwalls and thank you for the banner @mak-32

PART 32

Don't forget to check out Bob and Molly in The Curveball!

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#bradley rooster bradshaw x reader #rooster x you #rooster x reader #rooster fanfic #bradley rooster bradshaw #bradley bradshaw imagine #bradley bradshaw x you #bradley bradshaw x reader #bradley bradshaw x female reader #bradley bradshaw fic #bradley bradshaw fanfiction #rooster bradshaw fic #rooster bradshaw x reader #bradley rooster x reader #top gun imagine #top gun maverick imagine #top gun fanfiction #top gun maverick fanfiction #roosterforme #batting practice

[owliellder]

Two's A Crowd

College Bully! Leon Kennedy x fem! Reader

MDNI 18+

(Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5)

Description: College is proving to be a lot harder than you imagined. You cannot fail this math class. So when you've tried everything else, a well-known student is recommended to you by your professor for tutoring lessons, not really leaving you with much of a choice but to work with him.

Warnings: Not proofread, No Use of Y/N, Dub-Con, Unprotected Sex, Bullying, Yelling, Cursing

Tags: College AU, Bully! Leon, Shy! Reader, both are in their early 20's, Leon is Rude AF in the beginning, Loss of Virginity, Oral Sex, Fingering, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Additional Tags to be Added

Author's Note: I've been late posting this entire series 😭. i explained a bit when anon asked, but i LOST my compression gloves and got a new pair relatively quick on top of my $200 medication 💔 my wallet is in shambles guys

ANYWAYS thank you all for sticking around and bearing with me!! i kiss and hug everyone!! even though i haven't responded to comments lately, i read every single one and it always makes me giggle ♥️♥️

Cross-posted onto AO3

Chapter 5

The drive back to your university with your mom was excruciating. You hadn’t told anyone what’d happened which meant you had to keep a happy demeanor around them throughout the holidays up until now. Dread had settled in your stomach once the drive began and continued to spread the closer you got, similar to when you’re headed to the doctors or the dentist, just a million times worse.

Texting Ella and Sky had helped a surprising amount, turning the majority of your anxiety into rage. Ella was furious when she found out, so her fury, and Sky’s, quickly became yours.

They hyped you up, ready to be at your side and assist in tearing “that shitty fratfuck” to shreds. The support meant so much after everything, especially after the reality of it all set in; you’d seen the picture via snapchat from someone you didn’t know, so how many others had seen it?

Your worst fear was being seen as easy, being used like you were. But you weren’t, were you? Your friends had made sure to try and convince you otherwise, you had to give them that, yet even with the facts laid out in front of you, it was still hard to divert your thoughts away from that ever-looming self-doubt.

Seeing the campus come into view only served to solidify those thoughts and feelings. No matter what Sky and Ella had tried or are willing to do for you, it just wasn’t enough to fix what’s been done.

Your mom helped you bring your suitcase up to your dorm, giving you a tight hug and a kiss on the temple before saying goodbye and heading on her way. Playing okay around your family all winter break was exhausting, so you just chose to sit in silence on your bed instead of unpacking your stuff. Always prepared, you wanted to get here a few days early, using unpacking and settling back in as an excuse, when really you just needed time to collect yourself before the inevitable happened.

He was here, and you were sure he’d seek you out eventually once he spotted you, or maybe when one his friends did and the word made its way back to him. Whichever way it happened, you knew it’d be unfavorable. 

“Hey,” Ella’s voice from the doorway caught your attention, “you look miserable..” How hadn’t you heard the door open? 

“I am miserable, but uh.. let’s just pretend I’m not, okay?” You replied, barely cracking a smile as you glanced up at her. 

She gave you a weak laugh in return, letting the door close as she slowly sauntered over to you, plopping down right next to you on the edge of the bed. “Fine, yeah. You haven’t shown me your schedule yet, by the way.”

“Oh, right-” you paused to reach over and grab your bag, rifling through the various papers in there until finally pulling out the schedule you printed out a couple weeks back. “It’s mostly the classes that aren’t fun.” You stopped to look at your schedule for a brief moment before passing the paper over to Ella, who quickly snatched it from your hand.

She squinted dramatically, holding the paper only a couple inches away from her face. “Yeaaah, these aren’t the best. At least it looks like you’ll have the majority of your pre-reqs out of the way for next year though.” Her observation made you chuckle with a nod.

“Which is what I’m trying to do. Work myself to the bone now, chill out later.” 

“Don’t kill yourself trying to do everything in one fell swoop.”

“I promise I won’t Ella, this is just how I-” A knock on the door drew both yours and Ella’s attention away from each other, an immediate scowl settling on her face. You wanted to ask, but it seems she already knew what you were going to say, quickly shushing you in a hushed voice, “Sky won’t be here until tomorrow night. Don’t answer that.”

You paused, thought for a moment, then nodded once with pursed lips. Ella was a pretty serious person, the mom of the group you could say, so when she pulled that tone, you knew better than to test it. Besides, you didn’t want to see who or what was on the other side of the door, you needed more time.

The next day was a little better, if uneventful. You finally brought yourself to unpack your suitcase, a chance to reorganize everything since you’d gotten a few new things over the holidays. Ella stuck close, bringing food up and into your dorm to take advantage of the empty mini fridge while the two of you binge watched a few random movies.

You stayed cozied up in your bed, having already mapped out and memorized your walking path for each class; longer, less foot traffic to and from. All you had to do was get through the rest of this year, that’s all. Little extra walking never hurt anyone, right?

When classes actually started, the long and complicated walks actually worked for a time; no one gave you strange looks, no one tried to talk to you, and it was pretty quiet. Scenic. But everyone knows everything good must come to an end eventually, and of course it had to be when you were just starting to forget all of this mess.

He caught you between classes. Scenic walks backfired massively when you realized there wasn’t anyone else around on that part of campus. Guess you didn’t think this one all the way through.

You couldn’t help but notice he looked pretty roughed up, sporting a few bruises along his cheekbone, a split lip, and a healing black eye. Seems he’s been busy over winter break.

“Listen, please listen-” Leon pleaded, holding his hands out in a weak attempt to trap you in the hallway. All this did was make you even more uncomfortable. “I know what I did was wrong, but I was not the one who sent that picture around, I swear.” You just stood in place after a few tries to get around him, giving him an almost bored stare. He didn’t really expect to finally catch you, so he stumbled over his words as he continued to ramble.

“I-.. I’m so, so sorry for doing that to you,” he slowly lowered his hands back down to his sides once he was sure you’d stay to listen, “I know that what I did was terrible, and I mean it when I say that I am sorry. I wish there was a way to turn back time and undo it, but I can't. I can't even explain why I did it in the first place, but that's not an excuse. I just- I messed up big time and I was- am stupid for letting it happen.”

To you this seemed sincere, but you really couldn’t be sure and it was safe to assume it wasn’t. Leon managed to trick you for months, who’s to say this wasn’t a trick as well? 

Your look turned skeptical, crossing your arms tightly against your chest with a shaky breath. Despite handling this better than you thought you would, it was still nerve wracking having this kind of talk.

“I'm not good at this, but I'm more than willing to do whatever it takes to make things right, if that's even possible..” Leon breathed out, panting as he tried to catch his breath after talking so fast. “I managed to uh-.. to find everyone who had the picture and I made them delete it.”

“I made them delete the picture.” He repeated, taking another moment to breathe before suddenly looking down to yank something out of his pocket. “I-I got your uh-.. these-” 

Seeing him hold up your panties so casually made you gasp, immediately looking around the hallway to make sure it was still empty before shooting him a glare, whispering a harsh “Put them back! Put them back!” which made him scramble to hide them in his pocket again. 

“Right- right, sorry! Sorry…” Leon was sweating at this point, growing increasingly anxious under your gaze. He didn’t want to mess this up any further, but man he was doing a pretty shitty job at that right now.

His hands were shoved into his pockets as well, both of you blushing with embarrassment, and also shame on Leon’s part. Once he managed to slow his breathing, he started to talk again, a noticeable frown tugging at the corner of his lips. “You don’t.. have to forgive me or anything, I just wanted to make sure you knew that hardly anyone knows and-” His adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed dryly, turning his head to the side to look at the wall, “.. and that I’m sorry. I really do like you, I guess I just took a little too long to realize it…”

You made another quick glance over your shoulder before looking back at the man trembling in front of you who was still avoiding your gaze. You wanted to hate him so bad, so bad, but it was hard when all you could see was the Leon who was so sweet, the Leon who let you cry to him when the weight of the world was on your shoulders and made you feel so wanted and loved.

“Can we-” you cleared your throat and pulled the strap of your backpack further up onto your shoulder, rocking back and forth on the balls of your feet. “Can we talk later, maybe? Like, in my dorm? I don’t want anyone overhearing any of this..”

Leon perked up when he heard you talk, pulling his hands from his pockets to nervously rake his fingers through his hair, which was now partially damp from the sweat beading off his forehead. “Oh- OH! Yeah, of- of course, yeah, I’m sorry I didn’t- I just needed to-”

You waved your hands in front of your chest, shutting him up so he didn’t spill any further. "And throw those away." He nodded silently, wiping a hand down his face until it settled right in front of his lips, probably knowing he was talking too much at this point. 

There was one more class you needed to go to that day, so you hurried off after telling him to wait outside your dorm until you were done, and he promised he would. Very adamantly, too. At least he held true to his words, standing in the hallway right in front of your dorm room like a lost puppy when you turned the corner. It was cute for a second, though annoyance quickly replaced that feeling as you walked over and let him in.

You weren’t exactly ready to have a full blown talk, but then again, no one ever was. What made it easier was your roommate never returned that semester, assuming she dropped out, so you basically had the whole dorm to yourself for the rest of the year. Or until someone had a roommate issue and needed a change. Didn’t really matter to you at that point.

There was really only one thing on your mind and that was getting Leon to explain this whole ordeal to you. You needed detail, clarification, anything to help you understand what’d been going on behind your back during that time. And he did, telling you just about everything he could; who suggested the bet, who roped him into the idea, the second guessings he had since the start, how he could’ve done literally anything else to avoid the way it all played out, everything.

Obviously you couldn’t just forgive him like that, even though he kept telling you how sorry he was and how terrible he felt about it. You wanted to forgive him, but you weren’t ready, and he understood that. He would’ve been satisfied with any response you gave him, so having been given the chance to really explain and have you listen was more than enough in his eyes.

“And just so you know, my friends aren’t going to let you off the hook,” you pulled your legs up so you were sitting criss-cross on the bed, looking across at Leon who was sitting on the bed opposite of yours.

“Yeah, I know..” he chuckled awkwardly, reaching a hand back to rub at the nape of his neck. “I was honestly expecting them to jump me, but they just give me evil looks whenever they see me.”

You couldn’t help but let out a small laugh, making a mental note to question Sky and Ella about that later. “You’ll never get nice looks from them again and I won’t be vouching for you.”

Leon nodded, silence blanketing the room as you’d finally run out of things to discuss. Though it was awkward, it was nice to have him hanging around again. “Anyways,” you started, standing up from your bed slowly as you vaguely gestured towards the door, “I need to study, sooo…”

“Oh, yeah, totally, uhm..” he followed suit, standing up from the other bed before sauntering over to the door as you held it open for him. He walked out and turned around almost instantly, a small smile suddenly appearing on his face once his eyes met yours, his arms jerking upwards slightly as if to suggest a hug.

“Don’t push it.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

tags:

@kayotee4 @k-fallingstar @bobastayhigh @mi-zer-y @chasingkennedy @l30nva @espressonerd @jjouki @5tarx @bunnybreadloaves @whoisgami @cyanscribe @c4b3r1a @darichvep @mmmangel @kingtacocat @klee-iii @baby--vera @dakiniii @kenma-izhu @aliidarling @leonsmamacita @deadghxsty @nekoheist @dumbassmortal @cassiecasluciluce @iovewilliams @maeplayscello @deddiemunsonsblog @paranoid-but-android @mariesmain @tteokhwaa @bonnibuckets @eilonwykennedy @1dk-anym0r3 @papatyacikcik @animesnowstorm @lexi-zsy09 @mylifedoesntexist @ifeellikedying @yourmommylol04 @ravioli19 @dakiniii @papichulo120627

(few of your blogs won't pop up, i tried though 😩)

#college au my beloved #resident evil #bully leon #leon kennedy x reader #leon kennedy #leon kennedy x you #leon s kennedy x reader #leon s kennedy x you #leon scott kennedy x reader #leon s kennedy #leon kennedy smut #leon s kennedy smut #leon kennedy fic #leon kennedy fanfic #leon scott kennedy #re4 leon #re4 #resident evil leon #leon scott kennedy x fem reader #leon scott kennedy x you #leon s kennedy x fem!reader #multichapter #multi chap fic

[a-small-writer-in-a-big-world]

Lake: cbf!soap x reader

The lake water was warm against your skin. Your been in it all day, drinking up the sun and enjoying your time with Johnny. You lost count of how many times he had splashed water on you or threw you into the lake with a mischievous laugh.

It had been good. You had fun messing around with him, especially when the trip had been overdue, but there were questions burning in your mind.

It was just past five by the time you had decided to dry off. You laid out on your towel on the wooden dock, covering your face from the sun with an extra towel.

“Not asleep are ya?” Johnny wondered softly in case you were.

“No.” You moved the towel and gave him a small smile. “Could be though, I’m tired.”

“I know, it’s great.”

His hair was tousled from drying himself off as he sat down on the dock next to you. His legs hung over the edge and he stared out at the water, a summer breeze taking up the silence.

There was nothing else to do but ask.

“Why do you want to join the military so bad?”

Johnny paused and glanced at you with an uncertain look on his face.

It had been a couple weeks since the two of you had made up and in that time the military had been a topic you both avoided like the plague. The only time it was even discussed was the agreement that he went to Herefordshire every other weekend to visit his cousin.

You didn't have an issue with it...or at least you tried to tell yourself that. You didn't want him to leave you and join the military but you couldn't exactly stop him from doing what he wanted with his life.

Even when it felt like it was without you.

"Ah dinnae ken...it just feels right." He said after a moment of thinking. "It's something I think I'd be good at."

"But you're good at a lot of things." You sat up. "Math, science. You're also the best artist I know-"

Johnny shook his head and though there was a smile on his face, his eyes were filled with worry. He turned away from you as if to hide from you and he pick up a twig on the dock to through it in the water.

"I cannae see myself in uni doing any of that. The military is where I see myself."

You frowned and felt your chest tighten. You should know better than to try to convince him otherwise, once he set his mind on something that was it.

Maybe he was right, maybe he'd end up climbing the ranks and becoming one of the best. You didn't doubt it, he was good at everything he did and considering how fast of a learner he was, he'd be there in little time.

But it was the fact that he had forgotten all about you. It was like he was so willing to get away from his hometown, from you that it was hard to believe that he didn't have some ill feelings toward you.

It was all you could think of: "Why do you want to leave so bad?" "Why do you want to leave me?"

You sat down beside him to have some sort of closeness with him and looked out at the water that reflected back the golden rays of the sun.

"Well don't forget me when you're some military hero." You tried to joke but it didn't come out all too happy and John seemed almost offended by it.

"I couldn't forget you, I wouldn't." He stated firmly but you said nothing. "I'll come back any chance I get."

His eyes looked desperate and angry. Almost as if he were trying to convince himself more than you because you already knew he could forget you and that the chances of him coming back were slim.

It was inevitable and maybe that's what made it true.

"I was just curious." You shrugged and looked away from him, the pain in your chest too unbearable when you looked at him. "You're too young to join right now anyway."

"Even though I'm ready."

You scoffed and shook your head.

In two years they'd let him join. And in two years you'd lose him.

A/n: haha angst feel free to send asks if you want more fluff or something because all that's on my mind is angst for this series lol

tag: @elysian0612

#childhood best friend!soap #cbf!soap #john soap mactavish x reader #john soap mactavish x you #john soap mctavish x reader #john soap mctavish x you #john soap mactavish #soap x reader #soap x you #john mactavish x reader #johnny mactavish x reader #soap mactavish x reader

[hanniluvi]

💭 — JAKE AS YOUR BOYFRIEND !

leaving my boyfie for last ^^ just me being accurate hopefully or it’s just what my delulu self thinks what he does 😊

warnings : none?

— follows you everywhere. if you’re there, he’s right next to you always. the others are never surprised when jake is missing, cause when he is, he’s mainly with you.

— loves watching and capturing moments of you with layla. he just finds it so cute that you love his dog as much as you do. even if you two are apart and you may be facetiming jake, he can still feel the love across the screen when you squeal over layla. layla approves of you

— just a curious partner </3 like if you go on you’re phone, he would try to see what you’re doing just because he’s curious!!! like imagine him just resting his head against your shoulder js bc he wants to know what you’re laughing at.. jake ill show u my phone anyday

— i feel like if you were on his lap, he’d be the type to wrap both arms around your waist and rest his head on your shoulder, watching what you’re doing.

— the type to play soccer or basketball and look at you saying “this one is for you” BUT MISSES IT 😭 . so he awkwardly walks away / picks up the ball or just defend himself heavily LIKE DAMN ITS OKAY TO MISS literally mark core

— really touchy. like idk, he just wants to be able to hold you whenever he sees you. even if you just give him your hand, he’s pleased with it even if he wants more

— uses pick up lines he thinks is soooo good and you just have to lie and pretend they r good…sometimes they hit tho

— “that was good, where did you get that pickup line from?” “come on are you serious…..heeseung.” “he’s got rizz.” “ARE YOU SAYING I DONT—”

— pretty shy bf. like sure he’s touchy n all, but any compliments that come out of ur mouth, he’s already rolling around giggling…ME CORE!!!!

— the type to tickle you when you like prank him. just hear me out on it he seems like that guy AND will only stop when he hears a bunch of apologies.

— will laugh at ANYTHING. one tiny thing you do and he’s already clutching onto his stomach for help….boy he’s odd. dw me too we r meant to be

— probably only looks forward to the mornings cause he’d probably make you kiss all over his face so he could wake up…if you’re both heavy sleepers…this won’t be apart of yalls routine just saying…

— the type to steal your blanket in the morning/night for the fun of it 😓 like jake that’s only gonna make you sleep on the couch if you don’t stop playing 😂😂😂

— gets DEFENSIVE when arguing jokingly. LIKE U CAN IMAGINE HIM BEING THESE EMOJIS ☝️🤓 . “um actually that’s wrong cause due to these facts ☝️🤓” NOBODY CARE ABT YOUR MATH FACTS SIT DOWN .

— doesn’t seem like the type to get that angry w/ you? like he’d jokingly be mad but that’s all and yk he’s not serious about it. even if he was mad, he’d probably give you silent treatment WHICH HE CANNOT HANDLE.

— probably sulks and pouts when he’s “angry” or jealous. but any attention from you makes that turn into a big smile :)

— i feel like communication would be good in the relationship.

— type to give cheek kisses and then js run away afterwards cause even after all this time, he still gets shy and turn red !!

— JUST AN AMAZING BOYFRIEND .

💭 — sawrri for leaking my relationship with jake 😓 dispatch don’t leave this info oh No!!!!! (please do)

ENHA PERM TAGLIST — @flwoie @ixomiyu @yenavrse @shinsou-rii @bearseulgs @ilovewonyo @yenqa @dimplewonie @bubblytaetae @wtfhyuck @ineedaherosavemeenow @starcubes @starikizs @wonioml @chirokookie @xiaoderrrr @neozon3nha @en-chantedtomeetyou @millksea @enhaz1 @eundiarys @woon2u @ja4hyvn @judeduartewannabe @j-wyoung @thia-aep @vampcharxter @softpia @officiallyjaehyuns @itsactuallylina @hsheart @sweetjaemss @ahnneyong @hanienie @jwnghyuns @kpoplover718 @jiawji @rikizm @haknom @yeokii @wvnkoi @whoschr @teddywonss @shinunoga-iie-wa @flwrshee @skzenhalove @misoxhappy @s00buwu @ox1-lovesick @miercerise

#k-labels #kflixnet #hyfenet #en-web #enhypen #enhypen jake #enhypen headcanons #enhypen scenarios #enhypen imagines #enhypen x reader #enhypen ff #enhypen au #enhypen fluff #jake headcanons #jake scenarios #jake imagines #jake x reader #jake ff #jake au #jake fluff #kpop #kpop ff #kpop headcanons #kpop scenarios #kpop imagines #kpop fluff #enhypen fics #jake fics #kpop fics #enhypen fanfic

[mrvlbimbo]

hii, i wanted to request eddie and bimbo reader!! a unique pair, but reader likes metal and rock music, and they find other ways to bond later!! ( you can take the last however lol )

Genuinely love this character and their dynamic sm in this fic!!! I was going to wait to post it till I wrote everything I wanted to with this HC but I figured I’d pass it off to y’all and see what u think abt it as well

(Finally living up to my username ig)

Eddie x Bimbo!reader (this is going to be a series btw)

1.6k words

When the hottest girl in his math class asked him out he thought someone was playing a cruel trick on him. Like haha laugh at the freak and his massive crush on the school bimbo.

She came into pre-calc that day all giggling and happy and usual. She sat down right next to him, now that was unusual. Twirling her hair and smiling, she leaned over to him and asked “Hey Eddie, what are you doing this weekend?”

“I dunno.” His heart raced when she ran a finger over his bicep and looked up at him, fluttering her eyelashes.

Her nails were done in a French tip manicure and he wondered how she got anything done with nails that long and fancy. “I have tickets to a rock concert. Will you go with me?” She bit her lip in anticipation of his answer.

He did not give her one, deciding instead to jump out of his seat and rush to the bathroom and not return until the very end of class. She was still right there waiting for him with a pleasant smile. “I’ll have to check my schedule,” he finally answered, still not sure if it was a joke.

She was also repeating her senior year but it didn’t seem to affect her popularity. But that might have had something to do with the fact she was drop dead gorgeous and absurdly friendly and kind. He was skeptical of “preps” like her but he couldn’t imagine she would ask him out as a joke just to be cruel. She didn’t have a cruel bone in her body.

But he also couldn’t imagine her actually wanting to hangout with him. Still perplexed by the time lunch rolled around, he decided to ask the rest of the hellfire club what they thought. They didn’t have any helpful advice, due to the fact they did not believe him.

That was until the girl in question practically skipped over to their table and took the seat right next to Eddie. “Hiiiii Eddie. Did you check your schedule?” she giggled, tapping her nails on the table and looking at him expectantly.

The rest of the group was freaking out now and she had a confused look on her face, soon she was going to get upset if she realized the others were poking fun at them. So he did the only logical thing, grabbing her hand and leading her out of the lunchroom and into his secret spot in the woods.

If she was confused before she was really confused now. But there was still a soft smile on her face when he looked at her. “Why are we out here?” she asked, stepping closer to him. Her hands were resting on his chest and he wasn’t sure if he’d ever been this close to a girl before.

“I wanted to talk to you in private,” he answered, stepping away so he could breathe without taking in her floral femine scent that made him a little bit delirious and very horny.

“It’s ok,” she blurted out, shaking her head and looking a bit embarrassed.

“What?” he asked dumbly.

“If you don’t want to go. It’s ok. I won’t be mad,” she assured him, her gentle tone encouraging him to finally agree to her offer.

“No no. It sounds really fun.” She perked up at that, giving him all the information about the concert and hurrying off back to her other friends who were probably missing her.

They had a really good time at the concert. He stuck by her side the whole night, glaring at any guy who looked at her. Which was a lot of guys, she was very attractive. And it didn’t hurt that she was wearing knee high boots, the shortest and tightest skirt imaginable, and a top that barely qualified as anything other than lingerie.

His eyes were glued to her the entire night and when she asked to stay over at his place that night he thought he had died and gone to heaven. In the morning when he woke to her wearing one of his t-shirts while trying and failing to cook breakfast, he was sure she was an angel.

Their friendship grew quickly. It seemed like she always had an extra ticket for him to go see whatever band she was into at the time. Despite having little in common besides music taste and the same pre-calc class, they got along well.

He was fiercely protective of her once he noticed she wasn’t as popular as she might have seemed. People took advantage of her trusting and kind nature to make fun of her behind her back and it made him sick. From then on anyone who had a bad word to say about her would end up with a ring clad fist to the face.

After months of hanging out, things started to change. She looked at him with this longing in her eyes that he didn’t understand. There was always fondness but now when she looked at him there was hurt piled on top of it.

One day after school he had invited her back to his trailer and when he turned on a movie she just crumpled. He could instantly tell something was wrong. “Hey hey. What's wrong sweetheart?” he asked, grabbing her shoulders and pulling her in for a hug.

He wasn’t much of a hugger before her but she was very affectionate and he tried to match that since it seemed to comfort her. She pushed away and stared at the floor, angry tears starting to fall down her cheeks. “Why haven’t we had sex yet?” she asked softly, the words barely above a whisper as if she was embarrassed to even be saying them.

“Huh?” he questioned, his eyes widening at her words. He was very into her but he was sure that they were nothing more than friends. Had she been waiting for him to make a move this whole time? Now he felt like an idiot.

“We’ve been dating for months now. And at first I kinda liked it because I thought we were taking things slow. Usually guys don't take things slow with me. But like you wont even kiss me and I’m starting to think you don’t even like me that much.” He tried to interrupt her but she just kept rambling, her voice speeding up and shaking a bit since she was still lightly crying. “And then I thought, well maybe he’s just not that into sex but you don’t tell anyone about us either and you never hold my hand.” Her lip trembled when she looked up from the ground to look at him.

He had an utterly dumbfounded expression on his face “We’re dating?”

She ignored his question and kept on with her nervous monologue. “Are you allergic to me? Like my perfume or my shampoo? Because I can change that, it’s not a big deal.”

“We’re dating?” he repeated, sounding more stunned than the last time. The longing stares were starting to make sense now.

“So I just want to know what’s going on,” she finished, looking at him expectantly. She had seemingly not heard his twice-asked question.

“Ok this is a little embarrassing but maybe I didn’t quite realize we were dating,” he admitted awkwardly, fully prepared for her to blow up and never speak to him again.

“It’s not embarrassing, it’s cute. You’re really sweet to me, for a not-boyfriend. I like really really like you.”

“I don’t wanna be a not-boyfriend.”

“What-what does that mean?” Her face fell, confusion and hurt setting back in.

“C’mere, I’m such an idiot.” He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her against his chest tightly. She gasped, hands steadying her on his chest and clutching the fabric of his shirt. “Let me take you on a date officially alright?”

“Ok!” she perked right up when he touched her, bubbly and happy once again at the idea of a date.

Their first date was to the county fair. He took her on the ferris wheel and as she had earlier mentioned was an issue, he did hold her hand this time. When the wheel abruptly stopped right as they were at the top, he took it as his opportunity to finally make his move.

When he cupped her cheek and turned her face to him she said “Oh no! We’re stuck.” She was pouting with a very serious expression on her face, not quite understanding that the ride had stopped on purpose.

“No. They just do that so you can get a nice view from the top,” he explained, gazing lovingly into her eyes as if he was trying to send her a really sweet telepathic message.

“Oh. It’s beautiful,” she gasped, not taking her eyes off of him for one second.

“Can I kiss you?“ he asked, already leaning in so their lips brushed.

“Oh Eddie. Please.” He loved the way she said his name but in that moment he loved even more the way her lips moved against his. Her pink nails scratched at his chest over his shirt as she moaned and whimpered into his mouth, quickly getting worked up just from kissing.

When her hand started to slip down his chest and closer to the growing bulge in his pants, he had to stop her. “Woah. Let’s uh wait for that.”

“Why?” She asked innocently, batting her eyelashes up at him.

“Because we’re at the county fair and I think handjobs are generally frowned upon in that setting.”

“Oh yeah,” she giggled, turning to rest her head on his chest instead.

“I know it’s probably soon for this but I think I love you,” he whispered, kissing the top of her head lightly as he stared down at her sweet smile.

“I love you too, Eddie,” she replied, tilting her head up to meet his lips again.

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Day 8/100 days of Productivity

9th April, 2024

Academia

Did my basic math revision sheet. Got all those things right which I used to get wrong, but got those wrong which were right in past revisions. 🤦🏻‍♀️

I did 98 questions of Chemical Coordination and 77 of them were correct and 21 of them were incorrect.

I really like such quality short videos which are rare on the Indian science stream scene when all I see is 40 minute long lectures for simple short topics😭😭. I watched this video on law of definite proportions. (Fun fact: this law states that any chemical compound will have the same ratio of mass of the elements wherever you find them.)

Did the next 30% of ncert line by line video on Chemical Coordination with my NCERT textbook.

Made a revision sheet for Mole concept and did some questions.

Watched a video to get clearer on calcium homeostasis.

My goal for this week is to complete 10 Chapters of Chemistry and atleast 15 Chapters of Biology. And Physics lectures daily.

Non Academia

Watched this video on thinking errors that we all have and its based on Thinking Fast and Slow by David Kahneman. I should read that book. What's fascinating is that I saw an article a few days ago where David Kahneman says that he failed to follow his own advice.

This video essay on Machiavelli where the narrator said that its dangerous to subscriber to Machiavellian ideas but its also dangerous to completely ignore them. Which is so true and so wonderful. Overall, it is a very beautiful introduction to who was Machiavelli and what his ideas originally were.

Today is the first day of Nau Devi (नवरात्रि). Today is Goddess Shailputri's day. Shailputri (शैलपुत्री) is the daughter of the mountains. We keep a fast on the 9 days but since it's exam time, I'll only be keeping a fast on 1st and last day. Also, it's my first time keeping a fast during Nau Devi. | Good day, it was. Very peaceful. Nowadays bhakti has been bringing me so much peace. I got up earlier today and took a bath before 7 am, which is new for me. And I'd be doing this for the next 8 days, hopefully forming a habit. I feel cleansed.

- Tanishka.

Day 7

Day 9

Pictures from pinterest. Credit to the owners.

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