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#but i cant help wondering bc if she wants to be with me but feels she cant for whatever reason i dont want her to feel that way
puppyeared · 4 months
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i feel like. theres designing a character with certain themes and motifs in mind, and then theres making a gijinka for the water bottle on my nightstand
#me when im the only person on the bus wearing a mask: i should make a furry plaguesona#its hard to explain bc. most of the time i try NOT to give my characters a 'strong' theme like making their whole design around#one thing like apples or even broad stuff like baking or cottagecore.. idk if its partly for flexibility or because i cant imagine them#making it their whole personality. not bc i find it cringe or overblown but more like ive learned to associate design with character depth#i had a cutesy uwu persona for most of highschool because i thought it would make me more. likeable? easy to remember? since#memorable character designs are easy to recognize. and one way of doing that is simplifying it with a theme or symbol so you form an#association. but since im a real person its exhausting keeping up that appearance all the time and denying myself things when they dont#fit my 'aesthetic' or 'theme.' i think ive grown past that bc i just collect stuff because i think it looks cool and dont let myself dwell#on how it might 'fit' with my image. but i cant help feeling bad doing it to my own characters bc it feels like im making them too one#dimensional. despite knowing that theyre not real and design alone doesnt reflect depth i cant help feeling like its wrong#despite that i love seeing motifs because it feels like it reflects the characters soul and paradoxically gives them depth. it makes them#interesting to look at too and honestly its pretty fun combining things that fall under a similar category when designing#i struggle find a balance between those two things#actually this reminds me of noelles christmas theme.. i dont remember her saying anything abt liking christmas despite a lot of#her design and character tying back to it. it makes me wonder if she would have feelings about that or doesnt think abt it too hard#or if its like a matching family shirts situation and shes just going along with it??#maybe i should just do whatever i want with my character designs since theyre not real and im thinking abt it too hard#although. this probably has something to do with deep seated identity issues huh#yapping#oc talk#oc
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diningpageantry · 5 months
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haaaaiiii guyyyyssss (gn) probably gonna be on here more often again soon. life events occurring. have occurred? still occurring, i suppose.
i'll probably post abt it more in depth at some ltr point, still in the very early stages of some stuff. i dont want to classify them as positive or negative things, however they're certainly things.
there's a lot of thoughts in my brain (hah), and ultimately i want to share them, but for now this is kind of me waving at everyone with a smile while my life has an "under construction" sign
#the last sentence also pertains to system stuff bc there was a major split from a significant alter#so like imagine an 'under new management' sign as well#not a host shift tho afaik but the split has resulted in a new fronter who's very active and has been co-con very frequently since#i've been having a Time recently in ways i'll ltr divulge abt but i finally established a solid communication with her today and that helped#i dont know how many splits/alters had broken off because intuition is saying a few but she's the most present and active in my awareness#i think we settled on her name being Lily but that may not be concrete#for a few alters i get like a single letter for their name and i try to work with them to find a name within that letter that feels right#one of my oldest and closest alters has only had the letter 'E' for the longest time and he and i cant find a solid name yet#every now and again im like 'edgar??? edwin??? edward??? emil???' and he's like 'fuck if i know' so like. fair enough dude.#i wonder if he'd like ez/ezara given that's a name we picked for ourselves pre-diagnosis however he doesn't fit that name in my opinion#ANYWAY. Lily is a teen girl in very much every way possible and she's very much an ANP#she is loved but as i type that she made it clear she's having an eyeroll reaction but that is the best i've got lol#i dont really mention system members often on here and mention them moreso to friends however i have a feeling she'll want a sideblog tbh#which is not something i've created/done for alters before as generally most of the system choose to be more private#but she seems extremely social and i want to give her her own space#i hesitate to give her an okay posting on her own on here mainly because i am an adult and i consider this blog an adult space#but im also okay discussing her in reference if that makes dense#anyway. yeah. as you can probably imagine shit has been Going On given there was a major split/restructuring but again that's for later#that's enough rambling from me lol ttyl
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dreamcast-official · 4 months
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ok well hm. thinking thoughts
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shitbrainratface · 10 months
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Srry i am very chatty today but i noticed the pipeline of
I want to die -> I want to be someone else -> I want to be me with a different life -> I want the plans I've made in my life to be easier to fulfill and that I could be more sure that I even can fulfill them
to be such a huge improvement and I'm proud
/ok to rb
#i find it funny when i talk about the state i am in and ppl seem so sad#like oh you cant drive oh you cant live on your own oh you need a caregiver... i wish you a good recovery#bitch i am recovered! just because my best point is worse than your lowest point doesnt mean i havent made huge steps#or like i talk about my insecurities#and theyre like well i hope you feel better about yourself#nonono its a good thing! because I get up and I look in the mirror and I feel negative emotion and thats it#i dont insult myself i dont feel dread or suicidal about it anymore#i just feel bad! and that bad feeling doesnt even last the rest of the day - I can forget about it easily now!#like ik ''i dislike how i look'' is sad for a lot of people but like... its such an improvement from ''if i look in a mirror i suddenly#develope delusions that my appearance is causing my girlfriend to cheat on me and that everyone wants me dead''#its honestly like... i was talking with a trans woman who was thinking of coming out and transitioning#and she was like ''but im scared that i wont like the way i look#and everyone says i will but what if i dont''#and i told her ''you have no idea how freeing it is to look in the mirror & dislike the way you look & still be happy and proud of your#physical changes''#''imagine seeing yourself and instead of wanting to cry and scream and kill someone you go 'eh could be better' and then feel fine the rest#of the day''#and the best part: I fully accept that there are other people who can find me attractive now#if i take a nude and i think it sucks then I send it anyways bc hey they see something in me that i cant and thats wonderful#and she said it really helped her bc that reality seemed so much more attainable than sudden radical self love#and maybe some day i will love myyself and love my appearance but even just where I am right now I think its pretty good#just.... i can not stress how freeing it is to be okay with yourself after a life time of thinking my appearance was the end of the world#im not going to lie - i am still incredibly jealous of hot ppl especially hot ppl who get a lot of compliments#but atleast being around hot people doesnt trigger me into a defensive scared mess anymore
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malxshrine-a · 1 year
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.
#hahaaa so quick update on rl situation#started a new job at a factory and already the area ive in has been goving me a static charge that has me being shocked#on EVERYTHING / ANYTHING metal and ive got to use buttons that have electricity running through them#one button doesnt even have a proper plastic cover on it so to turn it on i have to stick my finger inside it to actually hit it#imagine that. imagine getting shocked for my entire shift EVERYWHERE in little doses and by these buttons w electricity yu know?#ive been there two days and already have to remember 6 machines and im gonna learn more#10 all week despite the rest of the department doing 10 just on sundays and 8 the rest of the week. by the third day they wanted#to have me alone. they didnt even have me in the system to clock in / no badge / no time cards / dodnt tell me all this until monday#here i am thinking shits usual shift time and its not. came in two hours late#hypertension / heart palpitations / high blood pressure just from dealing with knowing i have big gaps in training and they want me alone#me getting shocked to high hell. and knowing even if i WANTED go skiddadle that i COULDN'T#my poor heart been going through it. dealing with them ive been going through it.#NO WONDER PEOPLE NO CALL NO SHOW ON THIS AREA AND YOU CANT KEEP TEMPS#nah cause fuck me running up a damn tree for acorns. tryna relay im being shocked and the girl training me not believing me#til i lit her ass up by touching her on accident through her gloves AND mine. i cant even use my gloves to help#i TRIED THAT. so like she didnt believe me til i made her see had to go to the doctor to not feel like#im being subtly gaslighted into thinking im making a big deal out of nothing and im crazy#i CRIED in the bathroom / before my shift / and after bc i feel off and my anxiety about being shocked is enormous#now i have to deal with paper work while feeling like my chest is being beaten on and squeezed. HAHAAA#im mentally / physically / emotionally going through it. but thank you for coming to my ted talk
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the plot has been thickening too much lately. yeah it's too thick now. we should add some water maybe. thinnen that thick ass plot.
#one of her friends who she talked to after i asked her to prom#sits next to my two best friends in physics#and today he was like 'haha so yall found out who ruby likes then'#and they got to talking abt it and they told him how were just going as friends and he was apparently shocked bc of how she reacted#after i asked like what she said to him after#he thinks shes into me and i have no idea what to think bc the reasons we arent going as dates have nothing to do with me#but idk if theres a secret third thing 'im also not into u like that'#he seems to be convinced otherwise#im back at square one! i have no idea how she feels! except at least she liked me enough in general to be absolutely thrilled to go to prom#with me. god bless#im still overwraught with joy at that either way mind you. especially with all that our mutual friend says about what she said to him#but you see how the plot is too thick#i feel like its wrong of me to still be worried abt her feelings abt me when she clearly said with valid reasoning that she doesnt wanna#date or be dates to prom and just go as friends#but i cant help wondering bc if she wants to be with me but feels she cant for whatever reason i dont want her to feel that way#but i feel like this sounds like i dont respect her decision! i do!! and it seems ungrateful!!!! god the fact that she knows i love her-#and i told her i really like her but she must be able to tell i love her-#she knows i love her and she still cares about me. enough to be thrilled and happy about going to prom with me! and if its that she just#doesnt have romantic feelings for me thats OKAY i am blessed enough that shes in my life. that she WANTS TO BE IN MY LIFE.#and if its that she does but she doesnt want to act on them for reasons beyond me thats also OKAY i would wait a thousand years for her if#its what would make her comfortable and happy#just knowing she knows i love her and she still likes me is enough no matter what else but#its the not knowing thats killing me#its killing me. but i am so full of joy this whole day i have been full with it#my friends are proud of me i feel brave and fulfilled#i pass faces of people who know us both in the halls and i know they all know i love her#and i havent seen her since i asked nor spoken since she clarified over snapchat#tomorrow i will though. and i have no idea how things will be.#i feel like im going crazy but by god its wonderful
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star-girl69 · 2 months
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As much as I love overprotective Clarisse which believe me I DO😍😍 am I the only one who kinda wants to see a protective reader if something happens to Clarisse or even Ivy?!
I feel like Clarisse may just sit back and be Yh that’s my girl 🤭
Literally kicking my feet and giggling while writing this
Also I love your writing so much it’s so goodddd I check my phone for any new posts all the time and scream when you do
TYSMMMMM BAE ILY!!!!!! been in a writing slump recently. someone else please write a mind bogglingly good clarisse fic to inspire me again. lord give me strength…
forget the fact this is 2 days late. thank y’all 🙏🙏
anyways officially adding danny to the perfect family bc I DO WHAT I WANT!!!!!!!!!!!
ok so imagine this
clarisse is participating in some sort of contest
like
idk roman gladiators LMAOOOO
but basically it’s like a big tournament? and yk she’s destroying eating it up cooking, whatever you will
finally she gets to like the semi-finals and atp everyone kinda knows she has it in the bag
her opponents are scared
(trust an underground betting ring was formed. everyone who bet on clarisse is thanking the gods and everyone who didn’t is shaking in their boots)
clarisse is happy bc you and the twins (danny and ivy)
are sitting right in the front row cheering her on
and she got a wonderful good luck kiss from you
so not only is she happy and thinking about that but also she’s convinced that she’ll win just bc she got a kiss from you
so the fight starts, ivy is genuinely SCREECHING at the top of her lungs she’s so me she can’t be normal about anything ever
and you and danny are just regularly cheering for her 😭
eventually someone behind you tells ivy to shut up
YOU WHIP AROUND BC WTF???
harshest death glare in the universe. like even zeus would be a little scared.
ivy doesn’t even notice she’s chill
the other person quickly shuts the fuck up.
then you turn back to watch clarisse and the fights just starting, the other dude is scared and knows his ass barely stands a chance
she’s having fun pummeling him
ugh fight scenes are hard to write
so eventually she tosses his ass to the floor
“GO MOM GO GO GO BEAT HIS ASS MOM BEAT. HIS. ASS.”
“IVY STOP FUCKING SWEARING”
and this dude, who’s laid on the ground, who knows he’s cooked, decides the best option is to grab some dirt and throw it in clarisse’s face
and no one was prepared for this
like clarisse was standing over him with her spear at his throat, smile on her face, everyone knew he was done for- THEN HE DECIDES TO PLAY DIRTY AND DO THIS???
like everyone thought clarisse had it in the bag
the rules for this competition were that you’re not allowed to use anything but your person and/or pre-approved weapon(s)
NOT EVEN CLARISSE WAS EXPECTING IT
SO SHES DISTRACTED BY THE FREAKING DIRT IN HER FACE
SO WHEN THIS BITCH KICKS HER SHE GOES DOWN
DEAD SILENT!!!!!!!
EVERYONE GASPS!!!!!!!
whispers in the crowd… “oh bro is cooked…”
(sorry i’m obsessed w saying cooked rn)
and he is cooked
but by someone unexpected.
clarisse is wiping the dirt off of her face swallowing her shame she can’t believe she got distracted and let herself fall she should have saw it coming but suddenly she hears someone screaming
she opens her eyes and sees you menacingly walking towards this dude, who’s still on the ground and scrambling away
and what’s funny it you’re yelling at him like a mother would
the crowd is giggling…
“THAT IS AGAINST THE RULES. WERE YOU NEVER TAUGHT MANNERS??? WERE YOU NEVER TAUGHT DECENCY??? SHAME ON YOU SHAME ON YOUR PARENTS SHAME SHAME SHAME”
clarisse is literally sitting there mouth dropped open when you grab his ear and he HOWLS
dragging him back towards clarisse, he’s kicking and screaming and literally CRYING
“HELP HELP HELP ME HELP SHE CANT SO THIS SHE CANT I DIDNT DO ANYTHING WRONG”
“YES THE FUCK I CAN YOU BROKE THE FUCKING RULES NOW APOLOGIZE YOU LAWLESS SWINE”
“I DIDNT DO ANYTHING PLEASE I DIDNT”
one of the apollo kids who organized the event is looking around (kinda enjoying it) but mostly very scared
“technically you did break the rules… sorry pal…”
“PLEASE PLEASE HELP ME”
obviously, this is the hottest thing clarisse has ever seen in her life.
she’s sitting back on her palms, watching in utter amazement, trying not to bite her lip
someone loving clarisse… that gets her going
someone loving clarisse enough to PROTECT HER??? she’s about to explode. EXPLODE. she’s never needed you so bad in her life LMAOOOO 😭
and this bitch is STILL refusing to apologize
like damn it’s not that hard… it’s not like you have any pride left to speak of you just got dragged around by the ear 😭😭 bro you’re cooked just apologize and get out while you can
AND YOU’RE GETTING FED UP WITH IT TOO
“hey, dumbass, why don’t you look at the stands?”
you point, and everyone follows your finger.
ivy is a literal cartoonish whirl of her pink t-shirt and the white shorts with the little trees on them
danny is holding her back (with ease, might i add he’s strong as fuck 💪)
“i’ll let her out.”
“I DIDNT DO ANYTHING-”
“LET HER OUT”
he barely escapes that attack.
when you finally call ivy off of her attack, she stands next to clarisse, literally growls at the dude, before hugging clarisse
clarisse is still on the ground in utter shock.
she can’t keep her eyes away from you and ivy. she can’t get rid of the GLOWING feeling in her chest
is this… what it’s like… to be loved?
WAHHHHHH WAHHHHHHHH BITCH NOW IM THE ONE CRYING NOOOOOOOO 😭😭😭
danny eventually walks over and helps her up
then they all watch as you smile sweetly at this very traumatized dude and ask if he’s ready to apologize
“IMMSORRUOHGOEE IMSORHR ESEBIMS YORUUE”
(i’m sorry oh gods im sorry i’m sorry”
then you walk over to clarisse, rolling your eyes and mumbling about bad parenting, girl she pounces on you.
kisses you so hard in front of everyone
ivy and danny are hugging each other and shielding each other’s eyes, screaming, begging for you two to stop
“y/n” she breathes as she pulls away “you are… the most amazing mother, the most amazing girlfriend, and literally the love of my fucking life.”
literally twirling your hair “omg baeeeee you’re too sweet 🤭”
(y’all don’t end up leaving her cabin for a LONG time.)
after this clarisse definitely sort of realizes a whole new side of your relationship. seeing you publicly defend her like that, publicly care about her, love her, omg she is going crazy for you!!!
after this incident she definitely stops calling you her gf.
gives you a really pretty ring she got one of the hephaestus kids to make, starts calling you her wife
and nobody better have a problem w that lol or else they got two ares killing machines, one feral attack dog, and a literal mother who is not afraid to drag you by your ear.
—-
taglist:
@lvrue @t-wylia @laughingcheese037 @kroumi @urdeadpoet @colezb @rey26 @harmzilla @elliewilliamsbae @amberfreemansburntface @kyuupidwrites @neverwaakeme-up @shark1008 @liballer @heyimadison @nvirskies @pnsteblnme @mar2ss @restellsss @ravisinghs-wife @marsconer @evangelinexo @randomhoex @luvrrish @rebecca37 @saltair-and-palemoonlight @ace-spades-1
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m-ayo-o · 4 months
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heyhey i love ur writing!! i was also wondering if u could write smtn where mc surprises gojo by putting him in handcuffs, bc whenever she tries to take control he ends up overpowering her/ruining it cuz of his impatience (i js feel like he cant handle a taste of his own medicine),, if this makes sense!! T-T have a good day :)
hello and thank u c: yes i could maybe write a little smth like that. 18+ submissive satoru gojo handcuffed and teased ! gn ish reader (mention of being "wet"), masturbation
he's on the bed, his pretty eyelashes fluttering while you stroke his cock, up and down. he's groaning. the sounds are giving you the most intense butterflies and making you incredibly... wet. he's been away for too long this time, and your body is responding just how it always does. when he returns, you're ready for him. but this time, instead of having him get home, rush through the door and pounce on you, you want to take it slow. so you're touching him painfully slowly, and he's starting to glare and huff, nearly running out of patience.
"baby, that's enough- just, fucking jerk me off, dammit-"
he knows you can do it just right. you've watched him do it to himself so many times you've memorised the rhythm and speed he loves so much. if he's really fucking pent up like this he wants it hard and he never denies himself an orgasm when he's in this state.
but you're doing things differently today. you're not squeezing him as tight or tugging him as fast, but placing featherlight touches on his shaft, mainly using your fingertips and focusing a lot on his tip... and balls. they're just so full you can't help but massage and stroke him there.
he still feels amazing. anything you to do him- especially with your perfect, soft hands and pretty fingers- is just heavenly. and sure, satoru enjoys a good edging session just as much as the next man. but after weeks without physical contact with his sweetheart he needs you to do it his way.
"sweetie, a bit- bit harder... no- ugh, fuck, not on my balls i'm going to fucking explode. just stroke me faster, i need it."
his arms start flexing and straining against the pure desire to grab your wrists and fuck his fist into your hands.
"i've missed you so much..."
he tries to guilt trip you. you almost give in to the sad and needy look in his pretty eyes.
but no. not today. you give him one last sensual stroke and let go of his cock making him let out a whole string of displeased and pathetic whimpers. you honestly can't believe what he sounds like sometimes. strutting about calling himself the honored one and the fucking strongest and after a little teasing he sounds like this?
"you're such a baby."
you snort and turn away from him, opening the dresser to bring out your surprise gift. i mean, it was a gift for yourself, really. you need to use it on him right now so that he isn't tempted to completely take over and ruin your fun.
you take the item from the drawer and hold it out in front of him. he eyes up the metal chain and the feathery pink fluff on the two rings.
"are you kidding?"
"no, satoru. this isn't a joke. i'm going to cuff you. turn around."
he listens.
~
his arms are behind his back, where you're holding onto the metal cuffs. he's kneeling on the bed and you're sitting next to him just... playing.
you're focusing on his perfect, long dick, but you're sometimes distracted by those cute nipples, his chest and gorgeous abs where you're sucking the prettiest red hickies. when you're not so busy marking his body, your fingers skim up his shaft and rub the slick juice of his precum around his tip.
you press him there. quite hard. he lets out an unintelligible moan.
next, you tickle the underside of his cock. he twitches and bucks his hips. what a sight.
now, your favourite part. you cup his full and tight balls in your hand and squeeze him. you know the perfect pressure to get him begging for more. you know the perfect pressure to get his mouth hanging open with saliva dripping out. and you know the perfect pressure to make his abs clench with the muscles dancing under his porcelain skin. you deliver a few final strokes to his cock, hold his base nice and tight and...
it floods out of him. his cock bounces and squirts in tandem with his pulse... one, two, three, four times. your hand remains still. then slowly, when his pornographic moaning has died down, you slide your hand over his dick and start jerking him how he needed it all along. but now he can't handle it- he's begging you to stop because he's just ejaculated three weeks worth of cum in one go and his body is spent and his head is all dizzy. he just sinks onto the mattress like a pathetic mess and you work him till he can only whimper and shoot blanks.
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gojo | m.list
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rookiesbookies · 4 months
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Pregnant brat reader here with a sfw req this time with the same cod men from before bc that was scrumptious
The men are in the nursery, cradling their newborn to soothe them. Reader walks behind them, kissing their cheek (or wherever she can reach) and she whispers “I just fell in love with you all over again.”
Can you tell I have severe baby fever atm
Oh its ok I get baby fever too. If I wasn’t still too young and trying to get a degree first, oh boy. I also get it every time I look at Neil Ellice’s face (Soap’s va/reference).
Lowkey you’re making me fall more in love with these boys, hope this is all you hoped for my loving anon.
To all my readers and anons- Keep requesting this account is my hobby LMAO
Price
Price is already softly crying but now you’ve made this man want to sob. He puts the baby down since it’s late, poor thing basically just got cleared to go home.
He kneels by the crib, finger still in the baby’s grasp as it sleeps and Price is just done for. He’s doing everything possible not to wake this baby. He’s so grateful he got this chance, and he’s not going to waste it.
Now Price is going to need soothing because his heart can’t take this moment. His hand is over his mouth to help him choke down sobs. Just you and him and now the kid he always dreamed of? He’s going to be the best dad and there’s nothing that can stop him.
Soap
It’s crazy how forgetting to put on a condom once can change your whole life.
He immediately plants a kiss back on your head, telling you to go get rest. He’s going to spend the first months of this baby’s life sleeping in the room with it. The faintest cry or struggle has him up. He’s already got it all planned.
Never going to make this life feel like an accident, no this child is an accomplishment of good sex and a wonderful choice to keep it. Maybe it wasn’t an accident after all, maybe it was meant to be.
He mumbles all kinds of thanks to the universe. He’s already named Simon and the rest of the 141 the godfathers, he couldn’t stop making mafia jokes. But now he has no jokes or witty comments, just love for his wife and his baby.
Ghost
Simon is scared shitless.
He lost his last family, he can’t lose this one too. He’s already updated the house’s security. But maybe he should upgrade it more. There’s so much more he can do, he can feel his heart rate rising.
He mumbled endless promises of safety. You have to remind him the live in the moment, that those are all things that he can do tomorrow.
Thats when he starts to get emotional. You can see it in how he squints before he pulled off his baklava.
This is one of two days that’s proven Simon Riley still exists somewhere in Ghost. This proves that Simon Riley didn’t die. This proves what Price told you when you married him, that Ghost was a fortress built to protect Simon.
Gaz
He’s been crying since the baby was born. It’s not sobs but to him this child is the ultimate testimony of your love. Of your marriage even. He still doesn’t believe it. His world now revolves around this baby.
He still doesn’t believe its his child. Sure it looks like him but would an angel like you truly grace him with this? After all the terrible things he’s done and seen in the midst of battle?
He plants a kiss right back, running his thumb over the cheek of the baby. He knows he has to put it to bed but can't he hold his kid a little longer?
He may just stay here, just for one night. Just with his kid. He has so many stories to tell. He has to introduce the baby to his team and his family.
He knows he has to wait, but he cant help it.
Konig
He still doesn’t believe it. His anxiety tells him it’s a trap set by the enemy, that he couldn’t be loved, that a woman wouldn’t want to have his offspring.
But that all melts away when he turns to see you. He’s holding a baby he was surprised your body could push out, he knows this child is his without a doubt because of its sheer size and weight.
He places fluttering kisses all over your face.
He mentions keeping the baby in your shared room, just so he can keep an eye on it he swears. Oh he promises it won’t disturb you he swears.
It wasn’t even an option to tell him no, he was already carrying the baby in on arm with a secure hold and the crib in another. He hasn’t taken his eyes off your baby for even a second and getting him to sleep will be another struggle.
Krueger
Sebastian isn’t crying, you’re crying. What do you mean there’s tears coming down his face? No, that's sweat, it’s really warm.
He never needed you to tell him you loved him at the start, but when you started to he realized his heart wasn’t made of stone after all.
Now he’s holding this little creature thats half you and half him and he’s just breaking down.
This is a second chance at life for him and he swears he’s going to do better than he started off with.
In your eyes, this murderer looks like an angel with the light seeping softly through the windows against him as he holds your sweet baby.
For the first time in a long time, he prays. He prays to not mess up and for protection for his family. Its soft, under his breath and you would barely hear it, but he prays.
Keegan
When the baby was born the whole team of ghosts showed up. It was a moment of pride.
He turns to kiss your lips right back as he walks over to the rocking chair. Oh he could get the baby a little mask and armor. Could be a mini ghost.
The team fell straight in love but none could love this baby more than Keegan.
And how he looks at you? Its like you hung the stars… which you did help him do, there’s lots of stars hanging from the nursery ceiling, but you gave him a baby. He would trade the sun for his little family, unafraid of turning nocturnal if it meant keeping this moment.
He mumbled about this meaning worth all the fighting. Promises to always come home falling from his mouth so easily.
Edit: im dropping this incase you havent seen it tol
Masterlist is pinned on profile as always, don’t forget to leave me a comment or a request in my inbox to let me know what yall want to see!
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nayomi247 · 16 days
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I cant believe like... no one in the fandom has done a post like this yet that I can find?? It seems like a staple, and Im sending it here cause your wonderful and need more requests mwuah (´ з `)
What do you think would be some of the Hazbin Crew's ideal s/o? Like, what would attract them/get their attention initially, what they would need in a longtime partner, that type of thing! I would LOVE if you did Lucifer, Alastor, and Vox (my BOYS *sobs*) but feel free to do anyone and everyone you want to!
Their Ideal S/O
A/N: Thank you for this lovely request mwah😙 Also I sprinkled in other hcs to that I thought of while writing this
Pairing: Lucifer/Reader, Alastor/Reader, & Vox/Reader
Work under the cut🤞🏻
I feel like this man would love a clingy lover. Please always hold his hand. Sit on his lap while he does his work. Cuddle him to sleep at night. He LOVES physical touch.
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Lucifer:
He'd also want a person he can spoil. He wants you to know he cares. He shows this by gift giving; (another one of his love languages) anything in his power is yours for the asking, you just name it!
As for looks, he wouldn't really care about those. He loves you for who you are.... THOUGH, if you were tall, he'd like to be topped by you. Or if you were short, he would tease you for that and act all proud bc he's taller than someone.
The thing that initially attracted him though was your smile. He always adored it. Just seeing you laugh and be happy always made his heart flutter.
He wants someone who can take care of him. He's a very needy man and is almost like a toddler to some degree. Of course he could do this stuff himself, but it makes him feel better knowing that you're willing to do it for him.
If you're gonna be with him, you have to be nice to Charlie. That's non negotiable. He doesn't want to put you in a spot where you feel like you have to parent her, of course not. All he wants is for his 2 favorite people to get along.
He needs someone who's willing to commit to the relationship as much as he is. He's still a bit hurt from Lilith, and he's trusting you to not break his heart like she did. He would be crushed.
Alastor:
He isn't one to like physical touch very much. Maybe a peck on the cheek here, holding hands a bit there, but other than that he doesn't want to be touched. Don't get me wrong, he loves you a lot! But he's not really the.. touchy type.
I see him more as lover that would like words of affirmation or quality time. Just your presence alone is enough for him. Though if he's with a clingy partner, he'll probably get them a plushy or something of the sort to hug and cuddle when he's in his 'no touch mood'.
He'd like if if you could cook. You could help him prepare jambalaya and other dishes his mom showed him to make. It'd be a great bonding experience.
Like Lucifer, he doesn't care much for looks. As long as you're willing to commit to him as he does for you, then it doesn't matter to him what you look like.
To be completely honest, he doesn't know exactly why he loves you or even fell for you in the first place. But he does, and did. Who is he to question that?
Vox:
This man is also a big physical touch lover. He always has his hand on your thigh, holding your hand, or just touching any place he can.
Please let him spoil you. You'd always have the latest phone and other tech like that. If you want something, he'd be glad to give it to you.
He wants someone that's loyal to him and only him. If he sees anyone else trying to flirt with you (*cough cough* val) he'd go absolutely insane. You are his.
If you could cook, he'd always love to eat your meals, breakfast lunch and dinner. Would 100% brag to the other Vees when he has lunch.
He'd prefer it if you're good with tech. He wants to be able to brainstorm ideas with you and show off his latest inventions. Also it would make it 10x easier to clean his system if you were the one to do it.
He cares more about looks than the other 2, but it's not a deal breaker for him. He'd like it if you were good looking (You're beautiful no matter what though ofc) but it's not a need. Regardless, he'd still call you beautiful and his pretty thing
He fell for you because of your of your personality. The way you walk about and present yourself. You take bullshit from anyone, you know your worth. Much as he does. You're like him, you both understand each other. That's why he sought out your love.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'm sorry if this exactly what you hoped it would be, I know I added a few random things but I hope you like it regardless :]
Once again thank you for the ask<3
{Taglist}
@wonderlandangelsposts
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ssparksflyy · 1 month
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Hiii I hope you are having a great day!! I was wondering if you could make another percy jackson x daughter of Hecate reader? If you don’t/ can’t do it that’s fine I just though i would ask.
ask and thou shall receive ༉‧₊˚.
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percy jackson dating hcs ! *ੈ✩‧₊˚
pairing: percy jackson x latina!daughter of hecate!reader warning(s): swearin a/n: dw i got ur 2nd request that u wanted reader to be latina :)) i just added in some little things that tie in ♡♡ srry if these are short btw </3
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in the dead of night, your eyes so greennnnnnnn
you and percy tend to stay up later than most of camp
your always up and out after curfew
u js function better at night
me asf
the day is reserved for lake dates nd the night is reserved for sky watching dates ♡♡
ur literally attached by the hip if you couldnt tell
as they say in waitress, i love you means your never ever getting rid of me ♡
u usually watch from the roof of cabin 3, just cuddled up nd sharing a blanket
but once percy suggested you watch from the docks
and you were like oh!
not actually but you looked really hesitant
he was like whats wrong??
so you told him about la llorona 😊😍👯‍♀️💕😁😘🥰🤩🤗😚😋😆
it was so preppy
but now youre both scared to go to the lake at night
even tho yk shes not real
and youve literally been through tartarus
and back
and you face unimaginable horrors every dam day
and percy's literally the son of the sea god
mexican folklore is scary ok yall
idc if it didnt scare you as a kid / you like horror
I DONT
IM TRAUMATIZED
MY GRANDMA PUT ON LA LEYENDA DE LA LLORONA WHEN I WAS FIVE AND I HAVENT KNOWN A DAY OF PEACE SINCE
srry 4 trauma dumping yall
kinda silly how some story about a lady who drowned her kids is enough to make 2 of camp half blood's strongest soliders shake in their boots
so u stick to rooftops ♡
u nd hazel are bestiessss
shes a honorary member of cabin 20 ofc
you exchange tips nd tricks, hazel telling you about the things she saw hecate do and the things she said to her
nd u tell her abt the things youve picked up over the years :))
percy cant help but smile whenever he sees you two together
he sees hazel as a sister
( yall remember in son when he was ready to fight somebody for her or somethin like that idk i dont remember but i do know he was ready to f i g h t )
nd ur his fav girl ever ♡
idk his heart just feels warmed
same way he feels when he sees you playing with estelle
you show her a bit of ur powers nd she flips outtttt
she asks sally to be a witch for halloween bcs "i want to be just like (y/n)!!!"
idk abt yall but if i went home and my family found out i was involved with ~brujeria~ i would not b accepted at home (please read as if ur white nd cant say shit in spanish)
thats just the mad religious side talking dw yall
but sally nd paul would literally let you in with open arms
the jackson's apartment is your second home
percy has a drawer reserved for your clothes in his room ♡♡
he loves it when you sleepover, at home or at camp
he absolutely adores kissing your hands
he doesnt care about the dangers you can produce from them, he'll kiss em allllll he wants
you could be cuddled up together, ur reading to him and he just grabs one of your hands and begins to leave a trail of kisses up your arm, shoulder, neck, cheek, and eventually leaving one on ur temple
it just gets u like 😵‍💫
he loves his badass gf, okay?
literally ur #1 fan
would beat up anybody who talks shit !!!
tea is ur holy ground ♡
u cant drink coffee
cause yk, adhd, youll just end up knocking tf out
though you do drink it when you cant fall asleep at night
its me, hi
and hot chocolate is strickly an only-in-december drink, bcs then it wont hit in december, cause you had it earlier in the year
(my mom does that with gorditas and tamales broooo its painful)
so ya drink tea!
i dont drink tea, so im not even gonna try to tell you what his fav is
he likes wtv u like
but you try a bunch of different teas nd stuff together :)
lowkey youd adopt a black cat together when ur older
youre never gonna beat your neighbor's witch allegations
(probably bcs their true but youll obviously never say that)
i feel like percy would be more over a dog person but lets be fr, he likes horses.
fkn horse girl smh
but that does not mean he wouldnt love and care for the cat
he'd so let you stop to pet any stray cat you see on the street
v patient with you lowkey
u cook together !!
u teach percy a bunch of different recipes nd stuff :)
has a 'kiss the cook' apron 100%
and what can ya say, you gotta kiss the cook
man you guys manage to stay silly throughout the horrors, we love
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a/n pt.2: i had to do this TWICE bcs the first time i didnt i accidentally closed the tab and they didnt saveee, i feel like this is mostly me rambling but wtv, i did it tired, i did it unmotivated, i did it bored, i got it done! have a good day/night ♡
peace from manhattan,
percy jackson ♡
177 notes · View notes
pinkrecs · 2 years
Text
pinkrecs’s bts yandere fic recs
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[POSTED ON JULY 12th 2022]
note: this is most (honestly just checkout all of these authors’ masterlists--there’s more great gems) of my favorite yandere bts recs! please show much love to our wonderful authors. the yandere genre does contain triggering themes (ex: representation of toxic relationships, possessive/obsessive behavior, non-con/dub-con, violent behavior, etc). read at your own risk + check out the author’s notes. ENJOYYY ^^
i would love to give each fic a detailed comment on how i love it but i lack the words and writing capabilities to do that. so hope a short spoiler-free comment will do (sorry). GO GIVE THESE FICS A LIKE, REBLOG, OR COMMENT!!!!
POLY/MULTI:
- death valley by @bangtangalicious 
↳ gang + rocker + fightclub au + ot7 x reader. my brain is dizzy & fucked (in a good way) after reading this. each member gets their own time to shine and the characterizations of each member are crazy. this fic is a messy ass rollercoaster and the smut is scrumptious too!!
- gumiho cisswap bangtan x reader by @bloodsweattearscatharsis
↳ gumiho + cisswap au + poly ot7 x reader. its obvious from the title since the author mentioned that they haven’t made a title for the fic lol. honestly, go give this a read because the dynamic of ot7 is quite fun and i LOOVEE the suspense that from each chapter. all of them could run me over anytime and also HOT WOMEENNNNN ayyyyyyyyy go read bc it needs more luv
- house of serpents by @smasmashie
↳ mafia au + ot7 x reader. every character in here needs to go therapy but also not because i need to see more drama unfold. ot7 seems to care for the mc but their actions shown are... uhmm... questionable. but that makes this fic good though! reading each chapter like it’s the morning newspaper 
- in your dreams by @voidswan
↳ idolverse au + vmin x reader. GOD THIS WAS INTENSE, i was shaking, gasping, and throwing uppp!! vmins are menaces in this one but god you can’t help but want more D: i’m like the mc--who’s a moth attracted to the flame.
- lilies of the valley by @girlmeetsliv3
↳ a/b/o au + poly ot7 x reader. each relationships between the members and towards reader is mysterious and there was underlying tension of meeting the pack’s expectation. in some way, it gets uncomfy at some parts yet that is what keeps each chapter an enjoyable read.
- lovesick by @angelicyoongie
↳ soulmate au + ot7 x reader. mc is very unlucky gal... not only having one BUT SEVEN yandere as soulmates lmaoo.. and the soulmark inflicts on both people if one of them gets hurt. that’s rough damn! i’m still unsure if all of them know that all of them are sending her letters. keep notifications ON for this fic 
- nephilim by @royallyjoon 
↳ cult + supernatural au + poly ot7 x reader. it was defintlely chilling while i read this. while there’s some sense of normalcy, the larger control of the cult makes keeps us feeling uneasy. 
- on the first day of christmas, my true love gave to me by @forever-once-gone 
↳ ceo + christmas au + poly namkook x reader. namkook is crazy and unhinged when they show their true colors. jungkook is very VERY sweet tho i cant hate him rip
- strangers by @bestaez
↳ strangers from hell au + ot7 x reader. i haven’t read watched the kdrama so i can’t compare between the two. this is definitely interesting as we can see SOME insight to how ot7 plans it and covers up their tracks to avoid getting caught. i hope the mc can get the tf out that apartment and we can see the reasoning for these actions of ot7 in future chapters
- school f*cking sucks! series by @sluttyandere
↳ high school au + maknae line x reader. all characters are of legal age btw! sucks to be mc because she just getting snatched from each guy like that. and she’s the class president but kinda powerless since two of them control her status at the school. all three of them are massively wicked and im kinda digging it LMAO
- thou shall not steal by @xherxx
↳ mafia + spy + enemies to lovers au + poly ot7 x reader. as the author mentioned, this fic is on the lighter side of the yandere spectrum. i love the mc in this fic. a girlboss icon actually. adored every interactions between the mc and each member. it’s a VERY pleasant read lol
- where three stars meet by @girlmeetsliv3
↳ poly sope x reader. this felt like a movie to this. i could picture everything in my head and sope was quite mysterious in this. and the little details placed throughout the story makes it enticing to continue reading. 
- “why you look so pretty when you cry?” by @minniepetals 
↳ mafia au + poly ot7 x reader. the way ot7 brings hopes up for the mc before crushing them down so she breaks and realizes that her only option is them is tragic for the mc... yet it’s a whole serve!
MISC (aka idk where to categorize these lol):
- never ever after by killingpeach (AO3)
↳ fairy tale au + ot7 x oc. each member is based on a character of well known fairy tales. for the mc to leave the story, she must make the member of that fairy to fall in love with her for “the end” to happen. i love the author’s versions of these fairy tales. each time the fairy tale ends, ik the oc is like: “i won... but at what cost??”
- seven princes of campus series by @bibbykins 
↳ college au + ot7 x reader. this series includes various fics with each member and their s/o and is more on the softer side of yandere! each couple is cute and the build up of how each became to be to great!
- tatemae; 建前 series by @99liners
↳ trophy wife au + ot7 x reader. this series includes various fics with each member and their s/o. the gaslighting and manipulation is wild in these fics y’all. and each time, the ending of the fic makes think like: damn... these men not seeing the pearly white gates of heaven
- the tarot series by @flowesona​ 
↳ ot7 x reader. this series includes various fics with each member and their s/o and “each inspired by one of the major arcana tarot cards.” i love this concept and each plot is easily able to get into. 
MEMBER X MEMBER:
- desire by kyoigi (AO3)
↳ demon au + jikook. demon jimin is hot yet creepy at the same time. and the way jimin goes through his inner turmoil before realizing his feelings for jk + jk starting to piece everything together?! just scrumptious 
- mused obsession series by @sombreboy + @chimoona
↳ photography + model au + jikook. the way jimin falls into jk manipulative and obsessive nature is crazy yall... and how they show their devotion towards each other? fucked up yet i can’t keep my eyes away from it!
- photos of you (and where I should be) by korknight (AO3)
↳ photography + rapper au + yoonkook. jungkook is risking it ALL for yoongi! down MASSIVELY bad yet jk gaslights himself into his actions are good for yoongi. 
- watching you, watching me by mellifluous_kim (AO3)
↳ idolverse au + yoonkook. THE TWIST? you knew my jaw FELL to the FLOOR?!? it’s a must-read because everything is not what it seems D:
KIM SEOKJIN:
- carnal by @kosmosguk
↳  vampire au. mc folded that quick... honestly same here too! just immaculate *chefs kiss*
- contact by @gorehsk
↳ alien au. pure filth and i love it.  
- rose gold by @sweetwolfcupcake 
↳ idolverse au. jin is quite eerie in this fic. he’s subtle with his yandereness and  calculated with his actions.
- the baron by @therealmintedmango​ (AO3)
↳ historical au. jin is charming and no one can suspect a damn thing. a fun read!! 
- the lost, the found, and the treasured by @forever-once-gone
↳  reincarnation + royalty au. so well-written!! there’s small details in the story and by the end... you see piece together. seokjin waited for a long time and i could see why (even though it’s quite haunting). 
MIN YOONGI:
- ash and cinder by @chimchimsauce 
↳ cinderella au. a cinderella retelling with yoongi as our prince. great fic with the yandere twist!
- beloved by @bang-tan-bitches
↳ historical + empire au. this fic was a RIDE. mc is a supportive sister yet she unknowingly attraction of yoongi. his desire is eerie and attractive at the same time. 
- beneath the world by @nomnomsik
↳ yoongi is down bad... and his notebook 😭😭
- control by @taeyohonic 
↳ idolverse au. damn a twisted universe of bangtan. yoongi’s character is a massive dick in this one
- exitus acta probat by @bang-tan-bitches
↳ mafia au. can he also snatch me away pls too
- lineage by @kosmosguk
↳ royalty au. god the twist? you gotta read this, it’s a masterpiece.
- the man in the moon by @worldwidemochiguy
↳ lowkey reading was comforting in some sort. like i was soft for yoongi’s character by the end :3
- the music of the night by @bestaez
↳ phantom of the opera au. i was smiling near the ending but then that had to happen lol
JUNG HOSEOK:
- angel by @worldwidemochiguy 
↳ best friend au. hoseok is affectionate, sweet, and insane in this one. 
- forbidden fruit by @deepdarkdelights
↳ organized crime au. mc’s lack of fear has gotten her into some trouble... but it’s jung hoseok--it’s alright!!
- may the odds be ever in your favor by @yandearest 
↳ hunger games au. this fic is incompeleted but the author left spoilers for the ending. i highly suggest checking out this fic--it’s very well written!
- orgasms on the verge of a nervous breakdown by @sluttyandere
↳ high school + party au. wow this was quite a lot to handle. pls note there’s non-con. in conclusion: trust nobody
- toska by @chummywchimmy
↳ a/b/o + werewolves au. hoseok is sweet and all but lord that bird gift LMAO. 
KIM NAMJOON:
- a dangerous game by @chaoticpuff17 
↳ mafia au. joonie does not know how to give up... prayers for the mc
- deviant by @jkeuphoriadreamland + @chimoona
↳ this fic is one of the most memorable fics i read. namjoon is so cunning and cocky piece of shit. 
- fôret de cauchemars by @kosmosguk
↳ sleep psychiatrist au. i massively agree that this fic is one hell of a rollercoaster. thrilling and creepy!!
- lady of the night by @deepdarkdelights 
↳ victorian + time travel + jack the ripper au. this joon lives in my mind to this day. enjoyed the mc figuring out what the hell is happening while scolding namjoon’s misogynistic ideas.
- let the villain win by @lemonjoonah 
↳ author au. let me tell you that joonie’s character will have you memorized and shocked!!
- moonstruck by @lovelyspring7
↳ mafia + florist au. this is fic did what it gotta do... and IT SERVED!!! 
- used to disappointment by @girlmeetsliv3
↳ nerd au. gosh i would also feel like a disappointment if i was in school with namjoon. but joonie is caring in this one (?)
PARK JIMIN:
- apothic by @jiminstonic
↳ zombie au. zombie jimin is sweet towards for the mc, but his actions went a lit extreme... ig that’s what he gotta do? slay?
- arte factum by @lolabangtan
↳ artifical intelligence + sci-fi au. fuck me up android jimin!@(31!!!! he’s a little bit eerie but we can OVERLOOK that :D
- charming by @bangtans-apollo
↳ cinderella au. *chefs kiss* prince jimin needs a therapy session because he’s very overbearing and possessive. you never know when he gotta explode!
- curiosity brought it back by catslullaby (AO3)
↳ CURIOSITY DID BRING IT BACK!!!!!! one of my all time favs. the way mc decided to make jimin jealous and she got what she wanted! but she also bargained more than what she can afford lool
- neighbors by @jkeuphoriadreamland
↳ neighbors + stalker au. toxic? yes. hot? yes.
- otherworldly by @sinning-on-a-sunday 
↳ coraline au. i am ashamed to say that i’m not mad at the ending. i would bend my knees for other jimin.
- porcelain by @deepdarkdelights
↳ dollmaker au. i’m not just screaming at jimin, i’m also screaming at the grandma.
- spirited away by @out-of-jams 
↳ spirited away au. i already watched spirited away and this fic takes it as inspiration to create something different as it own. jimin is supposed to be someone we can rely on... but the writing has good job of conveying the gut feeling of something that isn’t right :D
- the owner by @shumidehiro
↳ ghost au. i like the mc in this! love that she is respectful to the spirits and i can see how ghost jimin holds his resentment from.
- treasure by @sombreboy
↳ faerie dragon hybrid au. that took a dark turn but who can’t resist jimin? lets be REALLL
KIM TAEHYUNG:
- daffodil dreams by @sombreboy 
↳ murder suspect + therapist au. the way tae and mc are attracted towards each other is kinda in push and pull in way. and when they give into each other, it feels conflicting since it feels right but wrong for the two to be together. a thrilling read!!
- devotion by @sweetbunnykook 
↳ childhood friends au. the yearning?? the tension?? and when it blows up between the two, it’s completely worth it in the end. beautifully written!!
- dura lex, sed lex by @go1denjeon
↳ law au. tae is so mysterious in this fic. you know what you’re for when you read this, you just don’t know when tae decides to reveal his true colors. in hindsight, he acts like ordinary citizen yet ill think we’ll see more of his true colors in later chapters.
- like chalk and cheese by @helenazbmrskai 
↳ tae def helped the mc bring out the craziness in her. it’s refreshing read from most yandere fics as we start to see more of the roles reversed. 
- poison apple by @jooniyah 
↳ moneylender au. this is one of more darker fics. mc doesn’t give up nor so does tae. his character is crazy and im impressed how she keeps her sanity still. 
- purple people eater by @therealmintedmango (AO3)
↳ alien au. ik the title of this fic sounds crazy and the fic is. tae is adorable in the fic (besides the shit he pulled in the end). 
- the phantom by @darkestcorners
↳ paranormal + parallel universe/time travel au. tae’s character in this is fucking scary actually. i probably been dead by now if i was mc in that situation. 
- the treachery and reprisal by @min-hoax
↳ tae got ISSUES. and jimin??? my gasp was so damn loud at the end. that’s it. 
- violets: memories [part one] / violets: realities [part two] by @emoboijk 
↳ stalker au. tae and mc are unhealthy for each other but they still got feelings for each other... love how mc friends are there to support her :D
JEON JUNGKOOK:
- brother knows best by @cosmostae
↳ stepbrother au. jungkook is so hot and goodass smut. gulity-pleasure fic :D
- cardio by kaiseuphoria (AO3)
↳ personal trainer au. jungkook is so sweet but so insane all at once??&!6? this fic is a perfect mix of sweetness and creepiness. 
- cruel intentions by @explicit-tae
↳ mafia au. the first chapter was just recently out and i’m glad the mc got out of the situation. but since it’s the first chapter, i wonder when is jungkook going take her and the baby back? eagerly waiting for the second chapter!
- deception by @kthyg
↳ gang au. this fic is interesting in a way that mc likes jk long before jk likes her. jk gotta manage his anger and sort his shit out first. 
- flower petal by @royallyjoon 
↳ empire + reincarnation au. this two together is tragic. mc did what she gotta for everyone’s sake and that ended up... not so well many years later...
- forever afterthough by sorvette (AO3)
↳ fantasy + vampire + werewolves au + implied poly ot7 x reader. god this was a RIDE. the progress between the mc and jungkook is sweet and i enjoyed their bond together. writing felt like a kinda like dream because this is so well written!!
- play date trilogy by @worldwidemochiguy
↳  the inner turmoil within the mc between leaving and staying lets me know that jk got her bad... honestly same tho
- polarity by @darkestcorners 
↳ best friend’s boyfriend + college au. YOU GUYS WILL NOT GET IT UNTIL YOU READ THIS FIC. like i would smash my head everytime so i wipe OUT my memories and reread this fic all over again. the plot twists, the mind games, and how realistic this setting is in this fic got me fucked in all sorts of places. without being physical, jk uses all types of tactics to overtake mc’s mind. this is a must read. 
- taking over you by @go1denjeon
↳ idolverse au. love the mc’s approach this situation. jk’s character in this fic is actually fucking sick and twisted. at some parts, i just got very uncomfy and got the chills. 
- the crimson shell by @angelicyoongie 
↳ mermen au. do not think this is your friendly mermaid au. merkoo in this fic his claws, spikey teeth, and clicks his mouth to communicate. poor mc in this, she went through SHIT
- the friendly ghost by @darkestcorners 
↳ ghost au. ghostkoo is very sweet. he could never do wrong--until the end RIP :D
- to obtain the flower / primrose [sequel] by @mingshits 
↳ empire au. who knew that mc’s actions toward jk during childhood could leave a result like this lol? this fic was a whole serve, def must read. each time mc takes one step, jk is FIVE steps ahead her LMAO
- you by @whoretan 
↳ college + stalker au. the first chapter recently released and i’m invested on what’s going to happen to the next chapter. everyone’s motive in this fic is somewhat unclear and the mc here is quite unreliable. can’t wait for shit to happen 
5K notes · View notes
youremyheaven · 15 days
Note
is there a way to look at kinks/sex interests in the chart via nakshatras? i’ve tried googling on this subject but i’ve barely found anything on the topic beyond the simple “look at 8H or 12H for that”
OOOOH that's a spicy question 👀🥵(MINORS DNI)
I think trying to understand the nature of nakshatras helps in understanding what turns those natives on/what their kinks are. The yoni animal really helps in this regard. its imp to think of sex as a part of life and sexual nature as an extension of one's personality.
for example, i have two cat yoni friends (they're both ashlesha tho) who both have vaginismus which makes penetration really hard for them. male cats have barbed penises which makes penetration unenjoyable for female cats and its absolutely crazy how that can be manifest in cat yoni natives (i wonder how this will apply to male natives tho).
elephant yoni girlies i have known irl have had crazy sexual appetite. i do think your other placements/yoni animals will expand or restrict the energy of your primary yoni animal tho (which is the yoni animal of your moon nak).
lion yoni men freak me out bc ive had bad experiences with many of them. multiple guys who were creepy/SA-y with me had lion yoni. i think it makes you have an aggressive sexual nature.
ive noticed that many Moon dominant men kind of have a breeding kink or some type of semen related kink (sorry for being graphic, if youre a minor pls stop reading). ex: nick cannon who is hasta sun and has like 12 kids or something. i also think men with Moon influence love curvaceous women.
Mercurial men love someone who challenges them. they need that kind of stimulation to be turned on. i havent actually noticed this with mercurial women tho.
mars dominant men love milfs. most of them marry women who are much older than them.
i think venus/to some extent moon influence makes people attracted to those who they want to be like?? they'll straight up start acting like their partners. ex: kareena kapoor, shravana moon, when she was dating shahid kapoor, she was a vegetarian, super spiritual etc (like him) and after meeting and marrying saif ali khan, she has turned into a wine drinking, decadent, literature loving type person like him.
men with buffalo yoni (im thinking of Swati because those are the men i dated lol) have crazy BDE (and more than just energy👀) i know buffalo is not the same as a bull but i think the same masculine virility and tenacity applies. generally some yoni animals are more submissive and some are more dominant (just the nature of those animals, some are preys, some are predators) and i have noticed that every guy ive ever been attracted to has a large yoni animal because im (exposing myself here) hella submissive. if they have a mid-range animal/domestic animal/small animal, i feel put off with them bc i cant "submit" to them?? if ykwim
also check your darakaraka planet/placement etc and that will also help you understand what type of people you're attracted to. if you have Mars DK in 10h, you'd like someone a bit aggressive, sporty/athletic but also ambitious, career oriented, successful etc
i dont really know if i answered your question and im sorry i dont know any sources to direct you towards but i hope this has given you some ideas.
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onskepa · 8 months
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hi i was wondering if you could write something for tsu’tey? so to set the scene it’s jake and fem avatar’s iknimaya and this is when jake is first taming his ikran and fem avatar (that tsu’tey had to train like neytiri trained jake) gets really concerned for her friend who has been through the same things as her (in reference to getting found by neytiri and then being taken to the na’vi village and having to be trained) and tsu’tey gets jealous because he’s slowly grown feelings for the avatar reader as he’s taught her
(and i’m actually so excited bc i saw you write for Sylwanin and Mo’at and now i have so many ideas for stories but i’ll refrain for the time being, also hope you’re doing well since getting over your sickness! <3)
YEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSS!!!! MY FIRST TSU'TEY REQUEST!! THANK YOU SO MUCH SWEET~!! OH HOW I WANTED SOMEONE TO REQUEST FOR HIM!! MY SWEET HUBBY!!! HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS ONE~!!
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Ningay
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Of all things to happen to tsu'tey, he can bare it all. Hunting, gathering, teaching, fighting, being a warrior. Tolerate pathetic whiney skxawng. He can handle it all. But teaching a sky demon the ways of his people? His already thin patience, will be hair thin.
He and neytiri were given the task to teach jake sully and his dream walker friend. Stranded and lost in the forest, those two were found by him and neytiri. Given a sign by Eywa, mo'at had allowed them to learn the ways of their clan and go through their iknimaya.
At first, while neytiri was reluctant, tsu'tey was highly against it. But of course, what the tsahik says it goes. So neytiri was assigned to train jake, while tsu'tey was assigned to train the demon who he never cared to remember the name of.
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"wrong....wrong ...wrong again! even a child can hold a bow better than you!" tsu'tey bullied criticized the sky demon. The false na'vi in front of him inwardly sighed, [don't say anything don't say anything don't say anything].
Tsu'tey smirks knowing the demon cant talk back, she doesn't even think of saying anything knowing anything can go wrong in her way. "AGAIN!" he would say after each failed attempt to shoot a proper arrow.
If he is forced to train the demon, might as well get some fun out of it. "At least tell me where I am in the wrong, yelling 'wrong' wont help me get better" the demon says. He merely scoffs and shakes his head. "I have told you again and again, but your little demon brain cant seem to grasp! What is the point to show you if you don't listen? Demons like you never do!".
"Well at least show me the correct way otherwise, we would be out here for hours" the demon says, slight irritation in her voice. Inwardly sighing, tsu'tey grabs her arms and corrects her position. His face close to her, taking in her natural scent. For a demon...she doesn't smell all that terrible.
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The sky demon has gotten better, doing good in a well paste. All achievements, small victories, and accomplishments, the sky demon celebrates them. However, she doesn't celebrate it alone. The sky demon shares her excitement with jake sully.
Why him? Yes they go through the same trials and errors but it is tsu'tey that guides her! If there is anyone the sky demon should share her happiness is should be with him! Not the skxawng! But alas, seems the sky demon only has interest in jake sully. It brings bitter taste to tsu'tey's mouth for some reason.
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"jake please be careful and try not to die!" the sky demon screamed after jake sully. It was time for the both of them to tame an ikran, and it was jake who is to tame one first.
Tsu'tey was expecting a good laugh, to see jake sully fail miserably. He could use a good joke. He and others of his training group gathered to see jake sully making his way towards the untamed ikrans.
Looking over, the mighty warrior sees the sky demon holding herself in comfort. Tsu'tey walks over to her, close, nearly their arms touching. "He will succeed....right?" the demon asks in worry, her eyes never looking away from jake. He wont die. Why must she keep looking at him when tsu'tey is right there beside her?
"If he doesn't make a foolish move, he will pass" tsu'tey replies, huffing a bit. The demon should be more worried about herself. In a fit of a show, jake managed to tame his ikran with not so much of blood or injuring himself. Taking his first flight with his newly tamed ikran.
Now it was the demons turn.
Taking a deep breathe, the demon went ahead to the other group of ikrans. "Remember what you have to do!" tsu'tey shouted after. Nodding in fear, the demon hissed at the ikrans, until one took at her challenge.
The demon screeched as she does her best to tie the mouth of the ikran with pale light coloring. But the ikran was slightly more aggressive than jake's. Tossing the demon back against the rocky walls. "I will tame you!" the demon said with determination in her voice. Launching back at the ikran, tsu'tey would secretly admit he was impressed. The demon isnt letting down with a fight.
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As days pass, and both dreamwalkers were succeeding in their iknimaya, tsu'tey was no fool in how neytiri sees jake. He sees how she looks at him in a new light. Yet would play it off. But tsu'tey is no fool. He knows, neytiri knows deep in her heart. She is growing deep affections for jake sully.
Tus'tey isn't mad. True they were arranged to be mated but if neytiri feels a connection to jake, who is he to step in the way. Besides, he soon begins to feel for the other sky demon....
Every time he and the sky demon are together, he feels more at free, more loose, more...himself. With the little demon, he smiles more, makes jokes and coitizes less. Overall, he is more at peace.
"you know it tsu'tey, you know it as much as I do" neytiri spoke to him one day. Tsu'tey knows exactly what she is talking about. "I know....but the question is....can it be possible" he questions. Can it be? Can they love the sky demons truly?
"after the iknimaya....they should know" neytiri says. It wasn't a question nor was it a thought. It was confirmation. And tsu'tey agrees. While he may not understand these new found feelings for the female sky demon, its best to confess now. Before either jake sully or someone else speaks from their heart.
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Their iknimaya is complete. Both sky demons are now part of the people. Omaticaya. And tonight, the whole clan celebrate their new brother and sister. But in the midst of it all, tsu'tey sees neytiri taking jake away from the crowd. That was his cue.
Gathering all the courage he can withhold, he seeks the female sky demon. It wasn't hard, she was the center of attention. Something tsu'tey isn't fond of. She has to share her attention to everyone, everyone that wasn't him. Quickly he grabs her arm and takes her away from the celebration and somewhere more quiet and private. A field of night flowers that the sky demon has come to love. Her favorite place.
"Thank you for taking me away from them...I am not so used to that amount of attention" the demon laughs nervously. She stares at the vast field of the night flowers, admiring their beauty. And tsu'tey does the same, rather, for a different type of beauty.
"I saw jake leave with neytiri. I wonder where they are going....perhaps somewhere like where we are....Jake is a man who can get easily lost I wouldn't be surprised if he loses neytiri somewhere in the forest" she releases a light giggle. He would have join in had it not being the mention of jake sully. It is always jake sully in her mind. It bothers tsu'tey greatly.
Slowly he moves closer, almost touching at the shoulders, taking in her sweet scent. A lovely smell pleasing to his nose. "Jake is a fine warrior....and so are you" he comment, the demon looks up at him with joy in her eyes. "Yes, it is thanks to you I have come this far...truly tsu'tey, I appreciate everything you have done for me"...there it goes. The pounding of his heart beat, ringing in his ears. The rush of joy and pride flow throughout his body.
"I merely did what I was tasked to do...but you are a good student. Better than others I admit to say. Now I await to see what you can do with everything I showed you" he says with care and genuine clarity. The sky demon giggles lightly, her sounds send shivers down his spine like never before.
The girl smiles brightly, seeming to be pleased with his words. Good. That is a good sign. Teasing him to follow, she leads him further into the fields.
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Together, side by side they admire the beauty of the night. The glowing flowers gently swaying from the breeze. "Tsu'tey...there is something I have been meaning to tell you" the demon says in a low whispers but he managed to hear it. Shifting a bit he looks down at her, "what is it?". Anticipation is all he feels at the moment.
"I don't know when it began but......whenever I am with you.....I feel things and......I know it cant be good. While I am now Omaticaya...I don't think it can be with..." her sentence trails off. No no this isn't what he wanted!
Getting near her face, speaking with a soft voice he says "What if you could? What if...we can?" tsu'tey looked at her with strong hope, hope that she may reciprocate what he feels. The demon-no, calling her a demon now sounds more insulting, she is anything but a demon.
This beautiful woman in front him stands still, hesitation in her golden eyes. Gently grabbing her oddly five fingered hands into his. A small smile creeped up to her sweet lips. Oh how her beautiful smile brings warmth into his heart.
She takes a deep breath and says "does this mean you understand...?" she asks. Tsu'tey nods a bit too desperate. "I do...I have began to feel certain ways for you and if we give it a chance, explore where it can go" he offers. He is willing to do almost anything for this woman. As moments pass, he is getting more certain what he is feeling for her. Yes, he knows now.
The sweet girl laughed a bit and looks at him directly in the eyes, "then....can we" she asks a bit hesitantly. Smirking a bit, he says "we can ma'ningay" tsu'tey wraps his arms around her waist, and her arms around his neck, both getting closer, eyes closed and their lips meet to a passionate kiss.
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Aaaaaaaaaaaand that is all for this one! Sorry this took me a long time! had to rewrite this so many times! But I hope you all like it! until next time! see ya!
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Ningay = truly
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nvrsaidiwasinurcloset · 3 months
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reader comforting sad ethan?? like could be something his dad was suggesting/saying and ethans really frustrated. had prob been avoiding girlfriend! reader for a bit bc of the whole plan thing. hes prob reconsidering it all bc its been the happiest hes been in his LIFE and he feels like a shitty bf for the shit abt to happen. but he obviously cant talk abt it so he tries to shut her out, which doesnt work clearly. its up to you if you wanna include smut (tbh dont see dom! ethan existing here) but definitely just angst to fluff! this boy needs a hug ):
Okay, hi! I was about to go to bed when I got this request, and just HAD to write it. No smut, I thought it was better without it. I hope you like it:)
Everything We Need - Ethan Landry x Fem!Reader
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Summary: Your boyfriend is feeling guilty about being Ghostface, and wants to do whatever he can to protect you.
A/N: I LOVE THIS. There's just something about sad Ethan that makes me love him even more🥹
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When Ethan met up with Quinn and his dad, he felt sick to his stomach. The plan that had been in the works for a year was coming to fruition, as two wannabe Ghostface’s had met their demise. He really wanted to back out. For the first time in his life, he had someone in his life that made him want to get up every day, and that’s been weighing heavy on his mind.
“Ethan, are you listening?” Wayne asked, Quinn rolling her eyes.
“He’s probably thinking about his girlfriend,” she scoffed, as Wayne’s face got even more serious.
“You need to keep your head in this. Don’t you let some little bitch keep you from doing what we’re all here to do,” he said, scanning his sons face. “Richie would never let me down.”
His dad always used that against Ethan. Richie and his dad were so close, while Ethan didn’t get the whole father-son bonding experience he craved. That’s why he agreed to go along with this plan in the first place. He wanted his fathers love so badly that he was willing to kill for it.
“I know, dad. I won’t let you down,” he said, as Wayne started to discuss the plan further.
“Wait, does Ethan’s little girlfriend have to die, too?” Quinn asked, as a lump formed in Ethan’s throat.
“Shut the fuck up, Quinn!” Ethan yelled, as his dad stood there, thinking about the best way to respond.
“She might. I don’t know yet. You might want to distance yourself from her. If she finds out, she will have to die,” Wayne said, as Ethan’s eyes started to water. A single tear slipped down his cheek, quickly wiping it away with his hand.
“Ethan, I don’t think I can count on you for this. Your head is obviously somewhere else, as usual,” he said, shaking his head. “Why can’t you be strong like Richie was?”
The rest of their meeting consisted of Ethan getting berated by Quinn and his father. He knew he needed to keep you safe, so he decided that maybe he should put a little distance between the two of you. He felt like shit that your friends were on the literal chopping block, and he knew how badly this would hurt you if you ever found out he was a part of it.
He ignored every text you’d sent him for the last few days. He declined every FaceTime. You were really starting to worry about him. Aside from the worrying, your heart hurt, because you’d just taken his virginity before he stopped talking to you. You couldn’t help but wonder if that had anything to do with why he pretty much ghosted you.
As you were on your way to Sam and Tara’s, you sent Ethan another text asking if he was going to be there. You hoped for a reply, but you never got one.
You sat around the living room with Anika, Mindy, Tara, and Quinn when Chad walked in. You waited for Ethan to walk in, but he never did.
“Hey, what’s up, guys?” Chad said, taking a seat next to Tara.
“Where’s Ethan?” Tara asked, knowing you wanted the answer.
“Oh, he was going to come, but he decided last minute to stay at the dorm,” Chad said, before looking over to you, “He didn’t tell you he wasn’t coming?”
“No,” you whispered, as Quinn rolled her eyes. She couldn’t stand you and hoped that Ethan wouldn’t have taken their dad’s advice. She wanted nothing more than to make you one of her victims.
“That’s really weird,” Mindy said, a confused look on her face. “Maybe you should go check on him.”
“He ignores me every time I try to contact him,” you said, “I don’t think he wants to see me.”
“That’s definitely weird because he won’t shut up about how much he misses you.”
You were so confused, but you tried to ignore the urge to go see him. Maybe he was just going through something and needed space, but you still thought it was strange that he didn’t tell you what was going on with him.
As everyone got ready to leave, you pulled Chad to the side.
“Is Ethan okay?” you asked, as Chad shook his head.
“He’s always talking about you, but he isn’t sleeping. He’s barely eating. I don’t know what’s going on with him,” he responded, a little bummed that his friend wasn’t doing well.
“I think I’m going to go see him,” you sighed, pulling your jacket on.
“I’ll be there soon, I want to hang out with Tara for a little bit,” he said.
You nodded as you grabbed your phone and started the walk to his dorm. When you got there, you knocked on the door, hoping that he was home.
Your mouth dropped when you saw his face as he opened the door. His eyes were sunken in, he was very pale. He looked like a shell of his former self.
“Baby, what’s going on?” you asked as he gestured you in.
He sat down on his bed beside you but didn’t want to speak. He didn’t want to put you in danger.
“Please talk to me,” you said, tears welling up in your eyes.
Hot, fat tears started to flow down his cheeks. You pulled him close to you as he sobbed into your chest.
“I don’t know why you want to be with me. I’m worthless,” he cried, your heart shattering at his words.
“Baby, why do you think that? You aren’t worthless,” you said, a few tears slipping past your bottom lashes.
“I’m nothing. I’m weak. I don’t deserve you,” he was choking out his words between sobs as your fingers ran through his hair.
“Ethan, I love you. I love you with all my heart. I don’t want you to talk about yourself like that. You’re perfect the way you are,” you whispered to him as you kissed his forehead.
“No, I’m not. My dad always compares me to my brother. He’s always been the golden child while I’ve been the black sheep of the family,” he said, your nails gently dragging across his scalp as you tried to soothe him. He’s never mentioned his family, and it really pissed you off that anyone could make this sweet boy feel this way.
“You’re always golden to me, baby. You mean so much to me, and it breaks my heart that you feel this way.”
In that moment, everything clicked in Ethan’s head. He knew he didn’t need his dad because he has you. Someone that loves him unconditionally.
“What if we just leave?” he asked, sitting up to look at you.
“Why do you want to leave?” you asked, taking his hand in yours.
“It isn’t safe here. I don’t want anything to happen to you,” he said, his eyes pleading with yours.
You started to think about it. All classes have been cancelled for the last week. Most of the students have already returned home because of what happened to the guys from the Film Studies class.
“Where do you want to go?” you asked, smiling at him.
“I don’t care. I want to get as far away as possible,” he said, standing up. “I’ll grab what I’ll need, and we’ll go to your dorm next.”
You helped him grab the necessities, noticing things you knew he’d need that he didn’t seem to care about in his current state. He grabbed stacks of clothes, piling them in his suitcase.
“Can you sit on this for me so I can zip it?” he asked, as you giggled. You did what he asked as he sighed in relief, ready to get your stuff so you could get the fuck out of the state.
You walked out of the dorm and went around the back of it.
“Wait here,” Ethan said, running over to the dumpster. He pulled the robe, mask, and knife out of his backpack, throwing it away.
He was smiling when he came back over to you, looking like the normal Ethan you fell in love with. He picked you up and spun you around, before kissing you.
“I love you,” he said, as he sat you back down and his forehead rested against yours.
“I love you, too.”
Once you arrived at your dorm, you grabbed everything you needed in a matter of minutes. Ethan was deep in thought as he sat on your bed.
“You having second thoughts about this?” you joked, as he shook his head.
“No, there’s nothing more that I want than to get away from here with you,” he said, placing a kiss to your forehead. “Can we take your car?”
“I was kind of hoping that was the plan,” you laughed, as you double-checked the room to make sure you weren’t missing anything. “Let’s get out of here.”
Your hand was in his as you walked through the student parking lot to your car. Once you made it there, Ethan asked you to get in so he could put the luggage in the trunk. You thought about how Chad mentioned that Ethan hadn’t slept in days, so you decided that it’d be best if you drove.
He started to feel uneasy, so he felt around under the bumper of your car.
“That stupid bitch,” he muttered, pulling off the tracking device Quinn must’ve put on your car.
“Okay, we’re ready. I just need to run by the ATM before we leave,” he said, as you looked at him, confused.
“Uh, my dad has experience with finding people, and I don’t want him to see my card transactions wherever we end up going,” he explained, as you nodded.
You pulled up to the ATM as he handed you his card and told you the pin.
“How much?” you asked, entering the pin on the pad.
“Let’s get two thousand for now,” he said, as you turned to look at him.
“How much money do you have in here?” you asked, your eyes wide. It’s not everyday a college kid pulls two grand out of their bank account.
“I have a lot. When my mom died, she left a lot of money to me,” he said, as you rubbed your hand against his thigh.
“I didn’t know that babe. I’m sorry,” you said, withdrawing the money and handing it to him.
As the two of you crossed state lines, he finally stopped looking behind him. You felt a little nervous that he was so concerned, almost like he thought you were being followed. The further you drove, the more exhausted you started to get.
“We might need to stop soon,” you said, Ethan’s tired eyes looking you over.
“Okay, let’s take the next exit. We can get a hotel room for the night,” he said, as you nodded, a yawn slipping out.
Once you got to the room, he crawled onto the bed. You helped him take his shoes off before you snuggled up beside him.
“Thank you,” he said, as he laid his head on your chest.
“For what?” you asked, starting to relax in the bed.
“For loving me as much as you do.”
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i am a SUCKER for Dad Joel. was thinking maybe a pre pandemic story where reader and joel are trying for another child but cant so they adopt ellie (bc let's face it sarah and ellie would have ruled the world together)
*absolutly love your work babes 💕*
Thank you so much, darling! I'm glad you've been enjoying it. I did just melt my own heart writing this. 🤍🥺😭
I feel like it would be solid two years after the wedding. You had started trying even way before that but it never worked. No matter what you tried and trust me on it you two tried everything. Joel spent his breaks flipping through different magazines and books looking for any new ideas on how to get pregnant. But nothing happened no matter the acrobatics you two get on to. Money was tight as it was so getting through IVF or even getting you both properly tested for now was out of the picture. So you had given up on the idea of having your kids.
Joel could tell that it had started to weigh on you even if you tried to hide it and smiled through it. The smile was fake, Joel knew it. He had heard you crying for weeks at night. Alone in the bathroom. Thinking that Joel was asleep and you were safe to let your guard down. But he heard it all. You soul-crushing sobs, that even an open tap couldn't muffle out. He had wanted to bring it up multiple times but somehow he felt that it would only make it worse.
"Is everything okay with mom?", Sarah had asked him one morning when you didn't come downstairs for breakfast. Joel stiffened for a moment, "Of course hun. Why are ya asking?". Sarah's eyes were on the plate. She was old enough to understand when things weren't okay back at home. She also had grown up with you by her side so she knew you. "I just... Do you know that mom's been crying a lot lately?", Sarah didn't dare to meet her father's gaze and Joel in a way was thankful because he knew that the look on his daughter's face would have broken him. With a sigh, he pushed the skillet away from the heat.
"You know... We've been trying to get you a sibling", Joel said while pulling out a chair, Sarah instantly looked up with that hopeful gleam and Joel had to clench his jaw tightly, "But I'm afraid we won't be able to".
Sarah shook her head, "Why?", "We don't know. The doctor thinks there might be something wrong..."
A part of Joel felt weird explaining it to Sarah but they were so close. You all had been. You all talked about anything and everything, there were few to no topics that you all haven't discussed together. "But...", Sarah trailed off, "Mom will be okay?" Joel wished he knew an answer to that. The truth was he didn't. He wished he could make it better. Help you fulfill the desire of becoming a mother. "We just need to give her a lot more love now. Show her how much we appreciate her", Joel ran his fingers through Sarah's hair, as she bit her lip, "Can we make her breakfast in bed?", she suggested and Joel couldn't help a smile that spread across his lips. He knew that you two had done a wonderful job raising Sarah, "We sure can, baby girl".
They had done just that for the next couple of months. Joel had found a way to take a couple of days off. Taking his little family on a little road trip. As you all went on a hike, camping by the lakeside, enjoying the peace and quiet. Yet the biggest gift to Joel was seeing a smile on your face once again. A smile that reached your eye as you and Sarah sat in a flower field making flower crowns. Crowns that Joel happily wore as you both giggled away.
Sarah found you sat by the kitchen counter, biting your lip nervously as you looked through a pile of papers spread across the counter. "What are you doing?", her voice made you jump slightly as you turned to her. Shaking your head slightly, "Come look at this", you moved slightly, making space for her. Sarah frowned slightly not understanding what she was looking at. "Adoption options", you said to her quietly, "They send over a couple of matches for our family". Sarah scanned over the pictures splattered around. Taking a hold of the only baby picture there. Ellie the name tag read. Sarah turned to you, "She just got placed in the adoption facility. Her mother died while giving birth to her", you muttered. "Are we going to meet her?", your daughter's question took you by surprise slightly, "Would you want to?", Sarah nodded her head in agreement. "We'll talk it through with your dad then".
You were rubbing your hands together nervously as you drove to the adoption center. Joel was quick to place a hand on your thigh, slowly stroking your skin. "Breathe, gorgeous", he said softly, "What if she hates us?", you muttered, turning to him slightly, "Love, she's just over five months", "Yes, but she could still hate us. Hate me". Sarah reached out her hand towards the front seat, placing her hand onto your shoulder, "Mom, you are the best. I doubt there's a single soul who hates you". Joel hummed in response, "I agree with our mushroom over here", Sarah gasped, "Out of all the nicknames...", "You prefer fishy better?", Joel teased, making Sarah cross her arms over her chest as she sat back, "I will turn my sister against you and then we'll see who will be a mushroom", she said, making your heart skip a beat that she was already referring to her as a sister.
The time spent in a hallway felt like a lifetime. You managed to sit for the first five minutes but then your nerves got the best of you so you opted to passing the corridor. Sarah was invested in all the little cards and buckles on the table. Joel stood beside you. Arms wrapped around you as he occasionally pressed a kiss or two to your shoulders or neck. In hopes of making some of the nerves melt away. To remind you that you were in this together. That he was here. Like he have always been. And no matter what happened you three were going to get through it.
"The Millers?", a lady called out making you spin towards her in an instant, "Nice to meet you, I'll be supervising you today". She went on to explain how everything usually worked around here. The number of times you would have to come by and see Ellie before they would issue a statement allowing you to adopt the girl if that ended up being your final destination. But you barely heard any of it. Thankful for Joel who kept the conversation going, noting the most important things. Light cries filled the room as you four stepped inside, the desire to soothe the babe instantly blossomed inside you.
You stepped closer to the crib, "She's fussy today, so don't let it set you off", the lady said moving to reach for her but you quickly cut in, "Could I?". The woman only smiled, allowing you to carefully pick the fussy little girl up, as you held her closer to your chest. "Hi, baby girl. I know, I know that it's so scary", you cooed at her, brushing your thumb over her flushed cheek, "But I've got you, sweetie". Ellie's cries died down almost in an instant, her big eyes now staring up at you. You rocked her gently in your arms, smiling at her softly.
Sarah stepped closer to you, moving to look at the bundled-up baby. She took the backpack from her shoulders, reaching in to pull out a tiny dinosaur. She looked up as if asking for permission to also approach her. You moved down to sit on the chair that stood by the crib, allowing Sarah to see Ellie better. She wiggled the stuffy in front of the baby, making different sounds that eventually had Ellie flashing a gummy smile at her.
Joel watched you two from the side. He never doubted Sarah being an awesome big sister. That kid had so much love to give as it was. He knew that sharing it with someone else would have only made his little sunshine happier. But it was you who had Joel captivated. The way your body instantly fell into a motherly state. A wave of proudness washed over him. That was his wife there. Cradling a baby to her chest.
"Dad you should hold her", Sarah said, stepping to the side as she watched her father who had been lost in his mind. "Let your mother bond with her, sweetheart", he said softly but you shook your head, "She's right, you should hold her. She's been looking at you for a while now", you said, standing up carefully. Joel realized just how long it had been since he had held a baby. And his mind instantly jumped to a thousand and one ways that he could hurt her by accident. Support the neck, he told himself, don't press too hard, just hold her steady.
But the moment Joel felt the weight of her in his arms. With you still standing close to him. As Ellie gripped onto your finger. Joel suddenly felt complete. As if this wiggly worm in his arms was exactly what his family had been missing. The warmth of his body soothed the baby and after a close inspection of the man holding her, Ellie's eyes started to grow heavy. "That's a big yawn, baby girl", Joel muttered quietly as he carefully brushed his hand over her head. Sarah walked closer to you two, wrapping her arms around you both, and resting her head on Joel's side. You four just stood there for some time. Joel rested his head onto yours, as the baby between the two of you drifted into a calm sleep. Not a single drop of worry in your body. The lady stood there with a pleased smile on her face, knowing full well that you three were going to give Ellie the best and most loving home she could ever hope to get.
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