#but i have been out of writing for so long i dont trust my judgment either what if i plan it at 150k and it ends up 250k

[nerice]

in my "using the transform tool on my novel to fix the anatomy" era

#it looks sooooo bad but once i lower the opacity and draw over it again it will be SO GOOD #unfortunately dream game first so this agony will continue for another few months #tbh i have no idea how long dream game will take. used to think it's a 200k novel but i think the only reason the main book is this long #is bc it's bloated by a lot of the layered confusing scene content im currently cutting #i mean i kinda operated on the '50k per death arc' principle but all things considered it should move fairly quickly? #more of a 20/40/20/20 distribution length wise (percentiles not wordK) #but i have been out of writing for so long i dont trust my judgment either what if i plan it at 150k and it ends up 250k #like just. for nano tracking purposes.. #NOT THAT I HAVE TO WORRY ABT THAT RN theres still 50k of current novel mess left at least #elia txts #growing pains!!!!!!!!!!!

[takalzuoom]

Hi! I really enjoyed your headcannons about Leona and Riddle as reader’s besties. Can I please request best friends hcs for Vil and Malleus?

Omg I’m writing this in English

But I’m so glad you enjoyed the riddle and Leona scenarios 🙈

Oh my god i literally loved writing this like- this is probably one of my favorites to write, i’m sorry for the wait but tysm requesting 🙈

May have overindulged in malleus… 😺

𝐕𝐢𝐥

oh my god

Even if you're nice i can immediately imagine the plastics

HE INVENTED THE BURN BOOK

With you vil (and sometimes) rook, you're unstoppable and cause people to have nightmares

In order for you to even be seen together, you have to have pride in your appearance, But if you have opposite aesthetics,i think you’re gonna have to be pretty tame cause if you get a little too … wild, he’ll literally bully you💀

But other than that- he's an absolute menace- like he’d absolutely throw away your lunch, look back at you and smile saying ‘you’ll thank me for this later’

IF YOU TRY GIVING HIM A FRIENDSHIP BRACELET HE’LL ‘SMILE’, CHUCKS IT SOMEWHERE, AND APPEAR WITH MATCHING LUXURY BRAND BRACELETS CLAIMING ‘ i won't have that fake metal touch and ruin my skin. You're welcome by the way’

You never knew what happened to it, but once you see it sitting prettily on his vanity, you know the gesture meant a lot to him

Okay listen- you literally become his emotional support friend

He won't go anywhere without you😭 that's only if you’ve been friends for super long and know him- like really know him

(Your relationship reminds me of me and my sisters, her constantly calling me into her room to hang out while she does whatever with hair and makeup while I’m on my phone talking to her)

Though some people point out that you're basically his assistant, you both know that's just chatter as Vil trusts you immensely.

Cause he’s someone who solely believes that you should do important matters yourself, but he’s let his guard down and let you lighten his load a bit

(That’s an unspoken indicator that you values you far more than you’d ever know)

The industry is hard and you can’t trust anyone- so knowing youre there in his corner, or even there in general relaxes him a bit, though its very uncomfortable at first

He may appear to be a diva, but even he sometimes gets caught up in his head.

While i dont see him skipping meals, he will calorie count

And if it’s a bad day / week, I can see him freaking out if even one minisquill of pigment is out of place. He’ll probably throw his things on the floor and grip at his hair as he refuses to cry.

He has a lot of pent up rage so 😿

You will definitely have to keep an eye on him. Don't confront him in public or else he will point out your flaws, bringing the unwanted attention to you

“Stressed? Potato are you feeling well? You don't look… heh, well as you do usually “ he gives you a once over “so go along to your dorm and catch some rest…”

You always know what gossip’s going on.

How Leona failed his last test. Or malleus cried in class. How Riddle talks to animals. You. Know. Everything.

I see him as valuing your opinion, so sometimes when he isnt sure if he likes how a shoot / a photo came out, he’ll ask you- sometimes taking your judgment other times doing the opposite

Screams at the tv 💀

Like yall could be watching cheer and when they’re at Daytona he’ll shush you any time you try to talk, or (when he knows no one is in a square radius of his room, dorms closed, windows locked, rook hunting- he’ll start screaming

Has no problem confronting people, if one of your friends block you for no reason, he’ll go up to them (when he deems fit) and ask why they’d do that

Basically an extrovert adopting an introvert if you truly think about it

PETTY. THIS MAN IS PETTY.

SO MANY BACKHANDED COMPLIMENTS THAT YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHEN HE SAYS REAL COMPLIMENTS

He’s gotta keep you on your toes

“…What are you wearing?”

“…I thought it was cute…”

“oh… well you look like the ugly duckling who got dumped in oil and cooked alive- go change”

If you think he doesn't give you a weekly makeover and give you a proper skin care routine, you're deadly mistaken

In his free time I can see him totally helping you with potions and chemistry, and since he’s into skin care and make up he’ll just suddenly nerd out while looking at different skin care products

… close to being a Karen- has class and he’s socially conscious so he isn't

Also will help you with social media rules and social rules if you‘re oblivious about them (like me)

Will give you pep talks that will linger with you for months, maybe even a whole year as Vil knows what he’s talking about

You need him as much as he needs you, and if someone tries to tell you differently, they’ll suddenly have the worst luck 🤥

He tries to keep you out of the spotlight as 1/ he doesn't want you to get involved and 2. It’s his spotlight. So when you're out you’ll have to keep yourself disguised since he’s as conscious about his reputation as he is his skincare

Gives you the ‘boys are shit’ talk

“but you’re a guy”

“no. i’m a queen, rook is a boy”

“excuse you but i’m a man”

But over all, yall are staying best friends - forever 😈

Keeps you away from neige

matching outfits that aren’t tacky

𝐌𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐮𝐬

omg, omg my little pony didn't prepare him enough for this

In order for you guys to become friends, you’d either have to not know who he is, be paired up as partners, or talk to him as a dare 💀 (Please keep that one to yourself, cause his three musketeers will literally ruin you)

But please, he's so happy that you actually talked to him. just walking with him to class will lift his spirits, and he’ll look forward to talking to you again

And, yeah at first he’s awkward, you are too cause ‘why are people looking at me like they’ve seen a ghost’

But please. Be kind. He’s a sweetie 😿

Gives you the weirdest nicknames, ‘child of man’ being his favorite

call him mal or mal-mal and he’ll gleam with delight

But the more you spend time with him, figuring out he's more… odd, than intimidating

The people in diasomnia are blessed with actual sunshine and thats bringing his retainers through a loop becuase- what the fuck is wrong with malleus?

Sebek is losing his head and lilia,albeit amused since he never saw this side of him, wants to know what’s going on. and silver’s in one of his classes so he knows

You definitely get cornered by them💀 sorry bro but they’ll probably threaten you DBFNCOISUJGR

And when sebek literally degrades your entire bloodline and calls your mom a ‘wench’ you start to avoid malleus :(

He tries to talk to you but you're always either in a hurry or whisked away by one of the first years…

“Oh… I see”

Cue sebek, lilia and silver watching from a corner

So a week passes

…and 17 diasomnia students have ended up in the infirmary because of the constraint lighting strikes-

And three of them finally put 4 and 4 together and realize they’ve possibly made a mistake (lilia already knew this, but he just wanted to see what happens- cheeky little bastard👹)

And malleus, finally having enough comes up to you as you’re playing with grim, freezes everything in time expect you and just- talks

10 minutes later y'all are friends again and going to get lunch😻

Ignores his retainers for a day

He’s definitely a passive person. Not being able to say his disdain for things out right, but with carefully crafted words he could call someone’s mom a whore and they’d be thanking him for the supposed compliment

Honestly if people see you around malleus they’ll genuinely think he’s threatening you / holding your family hostage

“Blink twice if youre in danger”

“Why would they be in danger? Are they being threatened? If so…” 😟

But then again- scary dog privileges👁👁

Which has resorted to multiple rescue attempts from the first year squad

He’s a little jealous when they succeed cause he wants to join in on the fun too :((

You join the gargoyle research club! He asked you and since you didn't have anything going on at the time, and needed some kind of breather from… the trio of mayhem

Plus he looked so… lonely 🤥

LOGOWEAR FHG PLEASE HE’S NOT A CHARITY CASE CAUSE HE MAKES BEING ALONE ALL MYSTERIOUS WHEN IN REALITY THE MLP THEME SONG IS BLASTING IN THERE

Some times he’ll say there’s an emergency meeting and takes you out of class just to wander around the school after coaxing from lilia

He loves hearing about your adventures with the first years, loving the way your eyes sparkle and you talk animatedly about what goes on. Just.

*sighs dreamily*

Out of all of them i think it’s easiest to get into a relationship with malleus

Please do makeovers with him. Stick those saturated butterflyclips in his hair and attempt to do different makeup and hair styles on him and he’ll be so happy, on the inside, with a slight smile is on his face on the outside

Don't let sebek catch you though-

“What are you doing to the young master! Let go of him this instant!”

YOU TWO HAVE FRIENDSHIP BRACELETS SHUT UP.

Extra credit points if its mlp related

(Malleus watches mlp literally fight me- yall binge it too.)

I WILL KEEP PUSHING THIS

Flexes accidentally 🧍🏻

Like no, he’ll talk about how on break he went to some exotic island like its nothing you only found out that it was rich and exotic when ace and deuce look like they were about to faint when you told them he invited you

I WANNA MAKE RELATIONSHIP HEADCANONS FOR HIM CAUSE UGHUREGHF- he will secretly court you if he likes you 🧍🏻

Okay back on track, even though he’s the ‘big bad malleus’ he has bad nights too, where he just cuddles into his covers, and hides himself from the world, that was truly when you realized he’s just like everyone else. That he’s not some robot. Some kind of a golden pedestal that sebek constantly has him on

You platonically cuddle cause he’s so touch starved- he’s either FREEZING and incredibly warm. No in between.

Sebek has approached you repeatedly asking you ‘how to get closer to the young master’

And you, still. Not over him practically calling your mom a whore, tell him to just, open his eyes a little more walks around with his eyes wide the next day- GBFNVIOSEF IK HE’S NOT FULLY OBLIVIOUS BUT WHEN IT COMES TO MALLEUS, C’MON

Out of everyone, i don't think you’ll have any true fights, malleus treasuring you, one of his only friends, so he makes sure communication is there

Y’all are 4lifers. You're his ride or die.

You also help him try to talk to leona more cause he, for some reason, wants to be his friend and- oh my god the chaos that ensues

#takalzuoom #kai…🌊 #anime x reader #twisted wonderland x reader #twst x reader #twst #vil schoenheit #malleus diasomnia #twisted wonderland malleus #twisted wonderland malleus x reader #twst malleus #twst vil #vil x reader #malleus x reader #diasomnia x reader #twisted wonderland vil x reader #pomefiore #pomefiore x reader #vil pomefiore

[hotch-stufff]

Fluff #8, Angst #5 and Fluff #43 with Gibbs, please. The reader is in her late 20s, Gibbs and her got into a fight because the reader isn't sure about the age gap and Gibbs is trying to push her away because he's afraid of letting her in

Hard To Believe

gif by dwayne-pride

Pairing: Gibbs x reader

Warnings!: angst, slight pining, making out, kissing, crying, but ofc a fluffy ending

Prompts: Fluff #8 “I realized something.” “What?” “I love you”, Fluff #43 “Is it so hard to believe that I love you?", Angst #5 “I love you” “No you don’t

Author's Note: I know its not quite how you described, kinda switched to where reader pushes him away. Hope you still enjoy!!

-------------

Loving Gibbs was easy. It was too easy. Too easy to fall for him. Too easy to look at him and allow your heart to flutter. To easy to feel butterflies every time he brushed your arm. That was the easy part.

The hard part was hiding it. Or figuring out if or when you would tell him. The hard part was pretending. Pretending you didn't care, pretending he didn't matter to you.

And you didn't even know if he would feel the same. You were, considerably younger, 13 years to be exact. And people would say things. You shouldn't care what people think, but it could ruin Gibbs reputation, and that you cared about. So you wouldn't tell him. You couldn't tell him. And that was the hard part.

You never expected a relationship. But you definitely didn't expect him to show up at your door and confess his own feelings.

It had been a rainy night, very cliche. He knocked repeatedly on your door until you finally answered. You were shocked to see him there, drenched. You invited him inside, and took his jacket, hanging it to dry. And he sat on your couch, silent per usual. You sat there for a while before speaking up.

"Soo, you gonna tell me why you're here?" You said, trying to start a conversation.

"I'm not sure what to do here." Was his only response. He looked nervous, which was strange for Gibbs. He wasn't a nervous person. He was always put together and confident. But he wasn't wither of those right now. He was slumped over, thinking hard. He was fumbling with his hands. He looked so ... vulnerable.

"Gibbs, whats wrong? What happened?"

"I just, I realized something."

"What?"

"I love you." The words were spoken clearly, and confidently. You were taken aback. Shocked was an understatement. Seconds ticked by, and silence filled the room. The only noise was the rain hitting your roof. He stared at you expectantly, waiting for some type of response.

"W-what?" Was all you could muster up. His face fell. "What do you mean? You're not serious. You can't be serious."

"Is it so hard to believe that I love you?" He asked, his voice was quieter. Gibbs didn't express his feelings often. He was opening up to you, allowing himself to be vulnerable. But you couldn't give in, could you?

"Yeah." He hadn't expected that. "Gibbs, your 13 years older than me, your my boss." He froze. You knew he had to have taken this into consideration. Why was it not enough to stop him?

"I don't care. I love you Y/n." You could feel the tears gather. You two couldn't be together. He had already been through enough in life, he didn't need the judgment that would come from being with you.

"Well, I dont feel the same." You said, your heart breaking a little bit with each passing second.

"Yes you do." He stood up angrily. "You do, but your avoiding them." You sighed.

"Gibbs-" he cut you off.

"No, you love me too. I know you do y/n. I know because everytime you look at me, its the same look that I'm giving you. You blush anytime we are near each other. You're always there to make sure that I'm okay." Gibbs didn't speak a lot. He was a functional mute, as they say. But he sure as hell was saying a lot now. Saying a lot of truth. A truth you couldn't allow to happen. So you lied.

"Those are all things a good employee does." You really tried to make it as convincing as you could.

"Employee, really?" He paused "Bullshit." He stood there waiting for your response. He only needed one more push and he would be gone. "Why won't you just tell the truth?"

"That is the truth Gibbs! This would never work between us!"

"What is it? That we work together?" You didn't move a muscle. "That I'm a closed off person." He paused. "Is it that I'm older than you?!" You flinched slightly and he knew that was it. You needed him gone before you ended up telling him that you loved him too. You knew exactly what to say to push him away.

"I don't love you Gibbs. I can't even trust that you would be with me long before moving on again." That did it. In that moment you forgot why you were pushing him away, especially after seeing the pain in his eyes. It was there for only a moment, before they went blank. His face following soon after. He nodded his head, and walked out, slamming the door.

And you fell to the floor in tears. You had to do it. You couldn't be together. You couldn't. It wasn't right. You were young, he needed someone older, more mature. Someone who wouldn't add to his baggage. Someone who wouldn't add on to everything he's been through. You couldn't be together.

These were the words you repeated to yourself as you cried yourself to sleep.

* * *

The next day was hell. The next week was hell. Everything sucked. Gibbs was on a rampage, pissed off and pissing off everyone else. He avoided you at all costs. The most he talked to you, was when he barked an order. You expected that.

What you didn't expect was the guilt. You thought you were doing the right thing. Pushing him away was the right thing to do. So why did you feel so bad? Why did a pang of guilt hit your heart evertime you looked at him.

Why were you filled with guilt everytime you saw the frown that adorned his face. Or everytime he snapped at Tony, Ziva, Tim, and even Abby. The guilt was consuming you to a point that you could barely bare seeing him. You had been trying not to hurt him, but he was in more pain now that he would have been had you told him the truth.

Would it really be so bad? To love him. To be with him. You couldn't remember why you didn't tell him you loved him in the first place.

You had to tell him. If he never forgave you, that would have to be something you lived with. But you had to explain. You had to tell him the truth.

So this time, it was you showing up at his house. His open door policy was something you were grateful for because you aren't sure if he would have just slammed the door in your face had you knocked.

You found him in the basement, sanding away at a boat. A glass of Bourbon sitting on the bench. He looked ... bad. Tired and angry. You hated that it was all because of you.

"Gibbs." He spun around, glaring at you.

"The hell are you doing here." You gulped and took a step forward.

"I uh, I came t-to apolagize." You stuttered out.

"Get out." He barked at you.

"Gibbs, wait please." You begged. You would get on your hands and knees and beg if you needed to. You had to tell him.

"What?"

"I love you."

"No you don't." He didn't believe you. It wasn't surprising, you wouldn't have believed yourself either after everything you had said. So you began explaining, pouring everything out.

"Yes I do. So much. I know what I said was, awful and so wrong on so many different levels. And I'm sorry, I know you hate apologies, but I'm sorry. I was scared. I'm so much younger than you and I thought people would judge you. And I know its stupid, but I didn't want that to be another thing you had to go through. I didn't want to ruin your reputation. You carry enough baggage as it is, with the job and just everything. I couldn't add my own baggage to that. But this past week has been hell without you, and it makes me forget everything. You make me forget. And so I'm so sorry Gibbs, because I DO love you. I love you so fucking much." He let you finish your little speech, remaining silent.

And he stood there remaining silent for a good 5 minutes, before he was marching forward and slamming your lips together.

It had taken you aback, and you faltered slightly, allowing him to press you up against the boat. He pressed into you, lips moving together passionately. His nose bumping yours, your hair falling in your face. He lightly moved it away before deepening the kiss. His tounge fighting for dominance. You gave it to him with a small moan. You could barely focus on anything other than him. The kiss ... it was more than you could have ever imagined. And man had you imagined this moment. You had wanted this for so long.

"You're so stupid." He said, breaking away and pressing his lips down your neck.

"I know." He smiled against you, and bit down slightly on your skin. You let out a surprised gasp, and his lips were back on yours.

"I love you." You spoke against his lips. He pulled back so that just your noses were touching.

"Love you too." And he kissed you again, and again, and again. Leaving you with a night you would never forget.

-------------

Loved writing this. Let me know what you think!! Thanks for reading! Requests are still open, so ask away! If you would like an idea of what to request, here is my prompt list, and if you would like to read more of my work, here is my masterlist.

#ncis gibbs #gibbs imagine #jethro gibbs x reader #leroy jethro gibbs #gibbs x reader #ncis x reader #ncis imagine #ncis #imagine #angst #fluff #reader insert

[drarrily-we-row-along]

Veritaserum Prompt Part 2

(Alrighty, friends! Here's part two of the Veritaserum prompt ficlet! I hope you enjoy.)

Harry had no idea what he was doing.

And to be fair, this was not an uncommon occurrence in his life. After everything that he'd done, everything that he'd been through, you'd think that he would be used to flying by the seat of his pants by now.

But this, Harry thought to himself as he stared at Draco Malfoy devouring a salad with chicken and fresh strawberries across from him at the island in the kitchen, was really not the plan.

The plan had been to find out where they were keeping Malfoy. The plan had been to find out how he was being treated and document it. The plan had been to put together a report demanding his release, demanding that Draco Malfoy be pardoned.

One look at him in that blasted cage and Harry's resolve to go through the correct channels was obliterated.

Hermione was going to kill him.

"I'm having trouble believing this is real," Malfoy confessed and frankly, Harry could sympathize. "I'm not sure if the way you're staring at me like you can't believe this is real either is helping or making it worse."

"This was not the plan," Harry finally said.

"Sorry?"

"I think I've made things worse," Harry confessed.

(Read more below the cut)

"Trust me, Potter, this is definitely not worse."

Harry winced, "In the short term, I agree with you," he said. "I agree completely. In the long term," he rubbed his hands over his face, "There was a plan. With lawyers and trials, with an actual fair trial, with you being tried as a minor because you were. A plan with a demand for your pardon and release."

"It wouldn't have made a difference," Malfoy said, glancing longingly at the salad bowl.

"Please have more if you're hungry," Harry said, nudging the bowl toward him and wasn't this all a bit surreal. "What do you mean it wouldn't have made a difference?"

Malfoy huffed as he scooped more salad onto his plate. "They never would have let me go."

"But Hermione says-"

"Yes," he interrupted, "Granger is brilliant, the brightest witch of our generation, but she also is on the side that won. You lot can have hope because what you wanted happened."

"So what you wanted didn't?"

Malfoy shook his head, "I mean obviously I wanted you to defeat Voldemort. What kind of idiot would I have to be to want him to stay in power? Even the people who followed him were miserable. But I was never under any delusions that my life would turn out fine."

"But we won," Harry said, "You shouldn't be punished unjustly."

"What do you think a just punishment would be?" Malfoy asked, popping a strawberry into his mouth.

"Community service," Harry replied readily, he'd thought this through already. "Maybe a few years of probation with wand monitoring."

"People died because of me, Potter," Malfoy said incredulously.

"You didn't kill them," he said.

"Semantics," Malfoy said, waving his hand.

"You didn't want anyone to get hurt. Dumbledore said-"

"Dumbledore was a fool!" he exploded. "Of course I didn't want to hurt anyone! Of course I didn't want to get the bloody dark mark! But I had to or he would have killed me and my mother. And I know you think the right choice would have been to sacrifice myself, to sacrifice my mother-"

"I didn't say that!" Harry protested.

Malfoy shook his head, "You don't have to because you lived it. You literally died, Potter."

"I mean, fine," Harry conceded. "If you're asking me to die myself, fine. It's literally what I was raised to do, it's literally the point of me. But if you'd asked me to sacrifice a single person I love," he shook his head. "I don't know what I would have done to save myself the pain of loss, to save my friends and family from the pain of that loss."

The other man stared at him for a long moment, "There is so much to unpack in that statement that I honestly don't know where to start." He shook his head, "Look, I'm grateful. Really. I didn't think I'd ever see the sun again, or taste fresh fruit, or drink clean water-"

Something clenched in Harry's stomach, "It's not fair."

Malfoy laughed, it wasn't mean or judgmental, but it was sad, "Potter, when has life ever been fair to you?"

Harry was a bit taken aback by that statement.

Before he could find the words to reply, "I'm just trying to say thank you for bringing me here. And to say I'll understand when you tell me I have to go back."

"It's not happening," Harry said fiercely.

"You've made yourself a criminal, Potter. You can't go back until you give me back to them."

"We'll clear your name," he said stubbornly.

Malfoy gave him a pitying glance, then seemingly decided to give it up. "Can I go outside?" he asked.

"Yeah," Harry said, "Of course. There's a ward set up around the property, but it's about half a mile in any direction. It won't let anyone in or out," he added.

"I won't go far," Malfoy promised.

"Oh, one more thing," Harry said, "One second." He ran back to his bedroom and fetched Malfoy's wand. "Here," he said, thrusting it out to the other man.

Malfoy stared at him, "You're giving me my wand?" he asked as though Harry was doing something inconceivable.

"Yeah," Harry said. "Yeah, of course I am."

"I could kill you in your sleep."

Harry cocked his head at him, "But why would you?"

"You're not very good at having enemies," Malfoy responded.

"You're not very good at being my enemy," Harry replied. "And honestly? I'm tired of having enemies, so if you want to off me just," he shrugged, "Do it."

Malfoy cautiously reached out and accepted his wand, tension draining from his shoulders the moment he touched it, "Circe, that feels good," he murmured. "I won't," he added, looking up at Harry then. "I won't hurt you."

"I know," Harry replied as he stepped back and headed over to start cleaning up the table.

"You're stranger than I remember."

Harry snorted, "Having an extra soul removed from your body will do that to you."

Malfoy was quiet for a long moment, probably trying to process that weird little tidbit that Harry didn't even always understand. "Do you want help cleaning up?" he finally asked.

"No," Harry said, shaking his head and glancing up at the other man, "Go outside. Enjoy the sun."

Malfoy stared at him for another moment like he couldn't believe this was actually happening before turning and heading out into the sand. Harry watched through the window as Malfoy spread his arms and tilted his head back to the sunlight, a smile on his face. It made him want to cry.

After another moment, he turned and made his way to the writing desk to pen a letter to send to Hermione that she could deliver to Kingsley.

Dear Kingsley, The conditions in which I found Draco Malfoy were so appallingly unacceptable that I deemed it necessary to remove him immediately. I'm sending along my findings on his living conditions in an official report with this letter along with any of the records that I managed to obtain from the unspeakables regarding the illegal activities, bordering on torture, that were performed. I will not be returning him to the unspeakables under any circumstances. Draco Malfoy will remain in my custody until he is granted an official Ministry Pardon. His time served in inhumane living conditions ought to make up for any lack of official punishment. I will also be remaining off the grid until Draco Malfoy has been granted the Ministry's Pardon. We both know that fundraiser season is approaching, so I hope you are able to sort this out as soon as possible so I can return to my work. Helping charitable organizations to function and serve those still suffering is important to me. You may send any correspondence to me via Ron Weasley or Hermione Granger. I look forward to hearing from you soon. Sincerely, Harry Potter

Harry read through the letter once more, making sure he'd been clear enough. Then he attached the letter to the official reports he'd written up and attached it to Mel's leg. She was a lovely parrot and they assured him that she would do just as well as any owl could. "Off you go," he murmured. "Take these to Hermione but be sure to rest on the way, yes?"

She nibbled his finger and he gave her a treat before she flew off.

He glanced out the window at Malfoy who was laying in the sand, soaking up the sun, and hoped that Kingsley would get back to him with a pardon before Malfoy realized that he was just as much a prisoner here as he was in the Department of Mysteries.

---------

Veritaserum Part 1 | Veritaserum Part 3 | Veritaserum Part 4 | Veritaserum Part 5 |

Are you guys interested in reading another part of this fic? Drop me a comment or send me an ask, if you'd like to read more. (or if you'd like to be tagged in the next part.)

I'm tagging anyone who said they wanted to read a part two below!

@gaygirldrarryblog, @londonthunderr, @tardis-221b, @nv-md, @chinike, @somevelvetmorniing, @drarrywritar, @rheya1864

@ellietheslytherin, @wistfulwonders, @textrovert-01, @thegirlwiththelibrarybag, @april-thelightfury115, @ottersmallpaws, @kittycargo @wheezykat, @missdrarrydawn, @dewitty1, @flightytemptress27, @wunderseltsam, @malicioussheep, @curlyy-hair-dont-care, @moonstruckwitch, @buttered-baguette

#drarry #100 drarry drabbles in 100 days #sort of part of the 100 drabbles #drarry ficlet #veritaserum part 2 #drarry drabble #Are you interested in reading another part of this fic? #developing friendship #Veritaserum prompt fic

[minteyeddevil]

Hi!I've always wanted to write something myself, but my vocab isnt very large. Sssoooo can you write something that involves a Female M/C and Levi??? She loses her virginity to him(because let's face it, he may be a loner,and non social but hes been living a very VERY long time. Hes had to have gotten some ass at some point in his life) And hes very understanding and sweet about it all.(but meanwhile trying very hard not to be too rough and just plow into her. If you dont want to use Levi, Maybe Satan..If say Beel would be a good fit(no pun intended) but I'm siding with every fan here. Dudes dick is too big.

I forgot to add(for my virgin idea with Levi) hes trying hard not be too rough since it's been oh so long since the last time he had sex.(that and the M/C just makes him feel like that regardless)

(I don't mind it being about Levi, I love me some otaku boy :3 I really hope this come out as you hoped, and thanks for sending in a request, lovely!)

---

Of all the beings available to her, why did she have to pick him? He's just the disgusting hermit who hides away in his room full of anime figurines and games stacked to the ceiling, glued to his computer screen and in his own little world all the time. Why oh why did she chose him?

Leviathan's brain asks these questions over and over again as he is laying next to MC in his bathtub-bed, her lips softly moving against his own. He can't shake the feeling that this has to be a dream; there is no way in all of the Devildom that this could possibly be happening to him.

He and MC had formed a bond of sorts over her stay in the Devildom; in fact, they had practically gotten glued at the hip with how often they would be around each other. She would hide away in his room til the wee hours of the morning, and even sleep over from time to time, taking up the futon he would lay out for her. Up until she slowly began working her way into his bed. This led to a shy first kiss, one that fried his brain to bits and left him a sputtering mess for days after; even that he couldn't believe actually happened.

As their relationship bloomed, so did their closeness, Levi working out his dislike of being touched to allow her to lay her hands on him, slowly but surely getting him used to her. Their kissing would become more and more heated, hands wondering and touching the most intimate of places, until she finally brought herself to admit she had never physically been with anyone before him. Her admittance was followed by a shy downturn of her face, hiding it against his chest as she waited for his judgment.

Another moment of his brain short circuiting. He felt the heat rising in his chest and creeping up into his face, but he wrapped his arms securely around her, giving her reassurance. "I-It's fine that you've never been with anyone before me, MC. It doesn't make me like you any less, ya know?"

She pulled back and looked up at his face, her eyes soft as they locked with his own. "You sure? I know as a demon who has lived for so long...I am sure you have, um, been with plenty of others..."

"T-That doesn't mean anything!" he yelped, covering his face with his hands for a moment. "I l-like the idea of being with you more...so I, uh, wouldn't mind if, ya know...you let me...be your first."

The tail end of his comment came out in a mumbled whisper, but she caught in none the less. "I would love for you to be my first, Levi. I trust you."

A small groan leaves his throat as her words play back in his mind. She trusts him. He had to make sure this night was the best of her life. With him.

He pulled away from the kiss, both of them panting for moment as they gazed at one another. He visibly swallowed, his fingers fisting into her shirt. "Can...Can I take this off?"

She nodded, sitting up to allow him to pull her shirt off, leaving her in a bralette, his eyes averting from her at first. "It's okay, you can look," she reassured him, reaching her hands out to touch his own.

He swallowed once more, slowly moving his eyes to look, taking in her chest as she reached behind her to unclasp her bra. "L-Lemme do it!" he called out suddenly, and she nodded, allowing him to reach behind her back. He undid the clasp easily, letting out the breath he was holding, only to suck in a deeper one when he saw her bare before him.

He stared for a moment before locking eyes with her once more, asking for permission. Another nod was given, and he lifted his hands slowly, cupping her breasts in each one, giving them a firm squeeze. She whimpered slightly, and he paused, gaging her reaction before continuing, feeling her nipples grow pert against the skin of his palm. He pinched them lightly, rolling them between his fingers, eliciting another whimper from her, before leaning in to capture her lips in a deep kiss.

"You're wearing far too much," she mumbled against his lips when they separated for air, and he gave her a funny look before addressing himself. He gave a small laugh, rubbing the back of his head. "S-Sorry, just...really wrapped up in you. Lemme just, ugh..."

He stood up from the bed and climbed out, taking off his shirt and kicking off his sweatpants. She stood as well, removing her shorts, leaving herself in just her underwear, as they climbed back into his bed. This time he climbed atop her, nestling himself between her legs. His flush had spread up to his ears and down to his chest, making his skin warmer than usual, and she ran her fingers along his skin.

"You doing okay?" he asked softly, his fingers shakily running along her side.

She smiled warmly and nodded. "Ready for whatever you have next, babe."

He visibly shuttered at the pet name, then leaned in to plant kisses to her neck and collarbone. He latched onto a specific spot at the bottom of her throat, sucking the skin there to leave a dark mark. He pulled away with an audible pop, and looked down at the mark, smirking slightly; good way to show that she was his.

He began to nervously plant kisses down her chest, coming to the valley between her breasts. He remembered a scene from a hentai he had watched before, and leaned over one of her mounds, blowing lightly on her nipple. It became pert at the sensation, and he felt her wiggle against him, making him smirk to himself. He than took the bud in his mouth, drawing a tight circle around it with his tongue and gave it a generous suck. She gave a high whine, rutting her hips against him, making him gasp and release her nipple when her core came in contact with his erection.

"G-Getting impatient, huh?" he tried to dirty talk, his hand slowly edging towards her still clothed cunt.

"Maybe," she mumbled, gasping a bit when his fingers rubbed against the damn fabric.

He shimmied down her body until settled between her thighs, his face now level with her core. He swallowed once more, mouth suddenly watering as he noticed the dark spot in the fabric covering her. His fingers shakily moved it aside and he leaned forward, giving her a tentative lick.

Her thighs clamped shut for a moment, making him yelp, until he pushed them back open, looking up at her. "Too much? Want me to stop?" he asked, worry apparent in his voice.

"No, no! It just... surprised me is all. New sensation, ya know?" she replied shyly, biting her lower lip. He nodded, giving her thigh a loving rub. "It should feel good, MC. Just, um, tap me on the head if you need to stop, 'kay?"

She nodded, and he bowed his head back down, pressing his tongue back to her folds, licking generously against her. Her thighs attempted to close once more, but his free hand kept them apart, his other hand opening her folds so he could tongue at her clit. She moaned, wiggling a bit at the sensation growing in her lower belly. His lips wrapped around the small bud, as he slowly pressed a finger inside her, thought stopped when he felt her tense.

He pulled away to look up at her, but she let out a deep breath, and urged him to continue. Lips going back to latch on to her clit, his finger slipped in with ease thanks to her slickness, and soon a second finger joined the first, stretching her out as he scissored them.

A slight sting made her wince as he stretched her, but soon she found her hips rutting against him, a pleasurable build up sending sparks along her spine. He pulled away what felt like too soon, and she whined a bit, looking down at him.

"I, um, I think you're ready," he reassured, climbing back up her body to lock eyes with her. She took in a deep breath, bringing her arms to wrap around his neck. He leaned down and kissed her deeply, his hands working his boxers down to free his cock. When she felt the head prodding her entrance, she tensed and looked at him with worry in her eyes.

"You can always back out, MC. I won't be upset or anything! I understand if you change your mind or if you're grossed out by me..." he babbled, but she hushed him with another kiss.

"No Levi, I want it to be you. I'm just nervous, and kind of scared of pain," she admitted, giving him a wry smile.

He frowned, but nodded in understanding. "I-It'll probably hurt for a little while, but I will do my best to be gentle, 'kay? Whenever you want me to stop just smack me or something."

She giggled and nodded, pressing a kiss to his cheek. He pressed his own to her forehead, and let himself press against her once more. His hand guided his tip into her entrance, and he tried not to groan aloud at how hot and wet she felt already. He was worried he might cum too soon with how good she felt as he slowly began to sink in. He felt her tense suddenly and he froze, looking back to her face.

Her brow was drawn together and lower lip bit tightly between her teeth as she felt the sting of the stretch. Once the initial pain dulled down, she motioned for him to continue. He pressed in further, her walls giving and molding to his cock, until he was fully in, skin pressed to skin.

He waited, feeling her walls flutter and pulse, until she began to roll her hips against him did he begin to move.

He started with shallow thrusts, letting her feel the drag of his cock inside her, little whimpers and moans leaving her. The sounds went straight to his cock, and he wanted so badly to pound in to her; but the last thing he wanted to do was take away from this being her first time.

"D-Does it feel good, MC?" he asked shyly, his breath coming in shaky pants. She nodded quickly, her hands running down his back and trailing down his arms to grip his biceps.

"It feels amazing, Levi...please, can you go faster?"

He groaned loudly at her request, burying his face in her neck to hide to flustered look on his face. He sped up his pace, pressing himself closer to her frame as he kept his cock deep inside her with each thrust. His tip made contact with that sweet spot within, and her vision began to turn white at the ends.

"L-Levi! I think I'm gonna--!"

"Go ahead MC! C-Cum for me, please!"

His name left her throat in a high moan, as her walls clamped down on him, milking him hard and pulling him into his own orgasm. He pulled out as quickly as he could, spilling his seed all over her belly. He leaned back on his haunches, panting for breath, as her body became limp against his pillows.

He looked her over, taking in the blissed out look of her face, and his cum all over her skin; he wanted to etch that image permanently into his memory.

"Lemme get you a towel to clean you up," he mumbled almost embarrassed, jumping out of his bed and throwing on his sweatpants to head out into the hall. When he returned, he also had a bottle of water for her, climbing back into to wipe her down. He gave her his shirt to cover up, and curled into the pillows with her, pulling his blanket over the two of them.

She sighed contently as she nuzzled into his chest, planting small kisses to his warm skin. He shuttered at the sensation, but cleared his throat suddenly.

"Was it, um...was it good...ya know, for your first time?"

What he wanted to ask was did he do well for her. Was he good enough for her; but he'd be damned before he asked that out loud.

Though as if she could read his mind, she gave him the brightest smile, reaching up to kiss him on the lips. "It was amazing, babe. You were amazing. Thank you for taking care of me."

He flustered again, verbally key-smashing in his words, as he wrapped his arms tightly around her and buried his burning face in her hair.

#obey me #obey me smut #obey me nsft #leviathan #fem!mc #request #fanficiton

[arcturusreads]

Hi i dont know if your still accepting prompts but I didn’t want to forget the idea lol no pressure though take your time with this one: Hayes bringing Meredith to Ireland to meet his family and to spend time together just the two of them

Tell Ma I'm Coming Home - Merhayes

I've been shockingly bad at writing lately so I'm sorry that this took so long but I hope this is okay x

“You know, it’s a well-known fact that I don’t do very well when it comes to meeting parents.”

After a 13-hour flight that included a stopover, Cormac had yet to persuade Meredith that his family were going to love her. He’d spoken to both his parents in length about Meredith, mainly due to his Ma’s probing. Initially, they had both just been grateful that Cormac had been willing to open up his heart again. There was never a concern as to how he would handle becoming a single father to two teenage boys. The worry had laid in the thoughts that their only son wouldn’t find someone to share his life with. That his grief over losing Abigail would be all-consuming, not allowing him to understand that he could be happy again.

So, when Cormac had finally told them that he was seeing someone, neither of them could care less who it was at first. Their excitement was purely because their son had eventually understood that finding love again didn’t mean that his love for Abigail would ever diminish and that he deserved to be happy. Over the past few months, they’d gotten to know more about the girl that Cormac had fallen for. She sounded headstrong, confident, stubborn. Everything that Cormac needed.

“Mer, I promise you that I’m not throwing you into the lion’s den. I wouldn’t ever do that to you. So, please trust me when I say that they already love you.”

The two of them were trundling up a stone strewn path. After getting a bus and a taxi from the airport, Cormac had told the taxi driver to drop them off in the middle of a small village, telling Meredith that the walk to his parent's house out on the fields was definitely worth it. After ten minutes she was yet to believe that. It might have been a bit better had they not been dragging their suitcases behind them. Cormac had offered multiple times to take hers but Meredith had stubbornly refused. She could carry her own bags.

When the house eventually came into sight Meredith stopped in her tracks. Her mouth dry. Realising she wasn’t following him anymore, Cormac turned around and walked back to his girlfriend. Placing a hand on her hack, he kissed her cheek.

“Come on, I promise you, my family are just as crazy as yours are.”

He gently pushed her forward with him, knowing that she wouldn’t be willing to move otherwise. It was odd for him to see Meredith like this. The woman that he had fallen in love with was so confident in her work, so headstrong in her life that it was peculiar to see her this anxious about something that he hadn’t thought was that big of a deal.

From outside the door, the pair could already hear booming laughter from inside. The sound of his father’s laughter made an unconscious smile appear on Cormac face. It didn’t matter how long he spent in America, this was always going to feel like home to him. One hand still on Meredith’s back, Cormac opened the door with the other ushering Meredith in first, who hesitantly walked in.

Cormac brought both the bags in, giving her a grin before yelling out, “Ma, Da! We’re here!”

A woman in her mid-30s came rushing out of the living room, her blonde hair falling out of a bun.

“Cormac!” She flung her arms around his neck, making him stagger back a little before he steadying himself and returned the hug,

“Trying to kill me, are ya, Niamh?”

She pulled away, slapping his arm. “Well, maybe if you visited more often then I wouldn’t find the need to.” She stuck her tongue out at him whilst Cormac just rolled his eyes.

Not entirely sure what to do or say, Meredith, stood off awkwardly to the side. She didn’t want to interrupt Cormac’s time with his family. He’d spoken in length to her about his sister Niamh. Whilst the age gap between them was quite large, he had always been close to his sister. Always let her tag along when he would be going to play football with his friends, would spend the entire weekend with her when she was able to convince their parents to let her visit him in uni.

Niamh nudged her brother, nodding over at Meredith so she could be introduced.

“You know you could just introduce yourself. I feel like you might just be old enough now.”

That earned him another punch in the arm. Winching, and rubbing the injury, Cormac decided not to risk any more teasing. “Niamh, this is my girl, Meredith. Meredith, this is my entirely annoying,” he flinched as Niamh went to punch him again, “but extremely talented, baby sister Niamh.”

Grinning Niamh pushed her brother out of the way and went to hug Meredith. “It’s so nice to finally meet you.”

Eventually and awkwardly, Meredith hugged her back. This was definitely a warmer reception than she had had with Derek’s sisters.

“I thought he was going to hide you from us forever. You must be exhausted, come into the living room, Da’s already in there and Ma just ran out for some milk.”

Meredith found herself being dragged off to the living room and when she turned back to her boyfriend, she found him with a huge grin and knowing look on his face. He’d had no doubt that this was going to be the reception she got from his family.

Cormac hadn’t even managed to step foot into the living room before Niamh had begun introductions.

“Da, this is Cormac’s girlfriend, Meredith.”

“it’s a pleasure to meet you, Meredith.” Standing up from a worn-out armchair, Cormac’s father was dressed in a white shirt and a pair of grey trousers.

Meredith took his outstretched hand to shake, “Thank you for letting me stay here, Mr Hayes.”

He gave a hearty chuckle, shaking his head. “Oh, you don’t need to call me, Mr Hayes. Rory will do just fine. Come on, take a seat, Ava won’t be too long now.”

As Meredith took a seat next to Niamh on an empty sofa, Rory welcomed his son home. The two shared a long, tight hug. It was clear to see that Rory had missed having Cormac around. The space between visits had been far too long and Rory had left it up to his wife to badger their son to come and visit them but he had missed Cormac more than anyone. Watching the Six Nation hadn’t quite been the same since his son had left.

When the two of them had finally let go of each other Cormac gave a pointed look to Niamh, the same one he had given her when they were kids as he wanted her to move but she wasn’t six years old anymore and happy to listen to her brother.

“Oh, I don’t think so. You two have been dating for months which means that you’ve had her to yourself for months. So, I’m pretty sure you can survive not sitting next to Meredith while Da and I get to know her.”

Cormac looked over at Meredith, hoping that she might support him but instead his girlfriend just smirked at him. “You heard her. There are plenty of seats in this room.”

Shaking his head, Cormac took a seat on the other armchair in the room whilst his father laughed at him. Inside though, he was pleased that Meredith felt comfortable enough to not need him next to her, that she was happy to sit next to his sister. The next ten minutes were spent with Cormac mostly on the outskirts of the conversation as Rory, Niamh and Meredith all got to know each other. Meredith found herself quickly at ease with the pair much to her surprise. That ease soon faded away when she heard the voice of Ava Hayes as she entered the house. This had been the member of the Hayes’ family that Meredith had been most worried to meet.

Cormac had told Meredith of the close relationship that he had with his mother. She had always been his number one supporter: his toughest critic yet his biggest cheerleader. It was Ava whom Cormac had leant on for support when Abigail was first diagnosed, always at the end of the phone whenever he needed her. Whilst she hadn’t agreed with Cormac’s rash move to Switzerland, she had still gone to visit him and the boys after a few months to make sure that they were settled properly.

“Cormac!” A lady of around five feet bustled through the door in a floral white summer dress and coral cardigan, her brunette hair going white at the roots hung around her shoulders.

Cormac immediately got up from his seat and wrapped his mother in a hug. “Ma, I’ve missed you.” He kissed her cheek as they pulled away.

Ava smacked his arm making her son wince, “You wouldn’t have to miss me if you just came to visit more often.”

As he opened his mouth to reply, his mother quickly waved him off. “Don’t bother with the excuses. It’s Meredith that I’m more excited to see.”

“Thank, Ma.”

Ava ignored her son’s sarcastic drawl and turned to look at Meredith who’d gotten up from the sofa. Much like her daughter, Ava pulled Meredith into a hug.

“it’s so lovely to finally meet you, Meredith. Cormac won’t stop going on about you whenever he calls.”

Meredith gave a nervous smile, a slight blush crawling up her cheeks. “It’s nice to meet you too but I definitely wouldn’t believe everything he says about me.”

“Nonsense. You’re the woman who’s finally managed to put a smile on my son’s face again. I’ll forever be grateful to you because of that.” Ava’s eyes began to well up with tears.

Meredith took one of her hands and gave it a squeeze. “You raised an amazing man and he’s done a lot more for me than I have for him.”

Ava quickly wiped away the tears that had fallen. “Oh, don’t praise him too much, it’ll just go to his head.”

“Oh, trust me, there’s no risk of that.”

“It’s true, that’s probably the first compliment she’s given me in the past three months.”

Meredith just rolled her eyes at him in response, “There’s just not a lot to compliment and that’s not my fault.

Ava couldn’t help but chuckle at their interaction. She felt fully at peace now having met Meredith. She’d never doubted her son’s judgment but having finally met Meredith, Ava knew that her son was in good hands, and she couldn’t be happier. It didn’t matter that she hadn’t spoken to her son’s girlfriend for very long, Ava just had a good feeling about her. Not only that but she had seen the way that Meredith and Cormac kept glancing at each other, she could sense the lightness in her son’s stature that she feared had disappeared forever and the woman standing in front of her had been willing to take a 13-hour flight to meet her boyfriend’s family for the first time. If Cormac ever let go of Meredith, Ava was going to give him hell, but she was pretty sure that this was Cormac’s second chance love and she didn’t know anyone that deserved it more.

#merhayes #cormac hayes #meredith grey #grey's anatomy #hayes x grey #cormac x meredith

[futures-tense]

Hi. Is bruises prompt still free for Bad Things Happen Bingo? If so, may I request it? I have an idea, but it you dont like it, dont feel obligate to write it 😊 the crew begin to notice frequent new bruises on TK. In different places. They begin to suspect that Carlos is not as a saint as he seemed to be. They keep a close eye on TK and Carlos. When asked about the cause of the bruises, TK evasively replies that it is his clumsiness, which makes them even more suspicious. They can't stand it anymore when one day they accidentally notice hand-shaped bruises on his neck and wrists. Carlos, backed against the wall, confesses a truth that is different than everyone expected. TK and Carlos just started BdSM experiments in the bedroom and TK likes it on the rougher side, especially when he starts having cravings for drugs.

TW: accusations of abuse (there’s no actual abuse but still, take care of yourself)

So I’m not super comfortable with the BDSM part BUT I did take the first part of the prompt and I used a bit of a,,, familiar storyline for some of you so I hope you like it!!

the blood on my hands (scares me to death)//3.4k

TK’s been off all day. Paul noticed it first (obviously) and now Judd wishes he hadn’t said anything at all. Because now-- after watching him a little more carefully-- he’s seen TK wince about a dozen times in the last three hours. He’s been wearing long sleeves. 

In the middle of August. 

In Austin, Texas. 

He tried to put it out of his mind. TK would talk when he’s ready, he thinks. And they all know how well he does when they press him on topics he’s not ready to talk about. 

So Judd tries not to think about it. Until he goes into the locker room. 

He turns the corner and runs a towel over his drying hair, glancing up at TK on the other side of the room. 

But he stops. 

The black and blue bruise coloring his shoulder stands out against his skin. It spreads to the top of his arm and TK winces as he pulls his shirt on. 

“Damn,” he says, making TK jump. “That’s a hell of a bruise you got.”

“Yeah,” TK mumbles. “What can I say; I’m a clutz.”

A knot twists in Judd’s stomach. That was barely believable. Which means that TK’s lying about how he got hurt. It could mean any number of things-- all of which Judd doesn’t want to think about.

“What’d you do?”

TK makes a face as if he hadn’t expected the question to come up. “I just… fell. Down the stairs.”

Judd raises an eyebrow, entirely unconvinced. “You fell down the stairs.”

TK nods but doesn’t look up at him. 

The knot tugs tighter. 

But before he can say anything, TK’s out the door. Judd watches him go, wringing the towel in his hands.

Paul and Mateo come in a moment later and he looks down. 

“What is that look for?” Paul asks but Judd just shakes his head. “Oh, so you’re going to be weird and ominous now too?”

Judd takes a breath but doesn’t respond. 

He prays he’s wrong.

____

Carlos:

Dinner?

Carlos:

I’ll cook

TK: 

Not tonight

Carlos: 

Tomorrow then?

TK:

Can’t, working

Carlos frowns at his phone. He knows for a fact that his boyfriend has the next day off-- they both do, he was kind of excited about it. Not to mention, TK hardly ever sends such short messages, and he’s canceled four date nights in the past month.

He clenches his jaw and climbs out of the car, slipping his phone into his pocket as he closes the door. 

His shift ended about twenty minutes ago and TK’s shift ends in an hour or so. And with the way TK’s been acting odd lately? Well, Carlos doesn’t see anything wrong with stopping by for a few minutes. 

Carlos adjusts his jacket and looks around the firehouse. He spots Judd in the kitchen first. 

“Hey, Judd,” he says with a smile. “Have you seen TK?”

Judd barely spares him a glance, already turning his back on him. “Meds on a call,” he says flatly, just before he turns toward the gym.

Carlos shoves his hands in his pockets uncomfortably. “Alright,” he mumbles. 

He sits at the counter, determined to be there when TK returns. Paul and Marjan come in a few minutes later. 

“Hey, Reyes,” Marjan says, making a beeline for the coffee maker. 

“Marj, that is your fifth cup today,” Paul says. 

“And?” She smiles then turns her attention back to Carlos. “Did you just get off?”

“A little while ago, yeah,” he nods. Paul offers him a cup of coffee but he shakes his head. “TK said he was working late today, so I thought I’d stop by on my way home.” 

Marjan makes a face. “No, he’s not.”

Carlos can feel his throat tighten. “That’s what he told me.”

It’s Paul’s turn to shake his head. “We invited him out with us but he said he had plans with you.”

Carlos has to look down-- any direction really-- because they’re sharing a look and giving him concerned looks-- which is exactly what he doesn’t need at the moment.

The roaring of the ambulance rumbles through the station as Nancy guides TK back into the bay. 

When they park it, TK jumps down and Carlos sees him clench his hand into a fist. He falls into easy banter with Nancy as they make their way to join them. TK grins when he sees him. 

“Hey, babe,” he says, pressing a kiss to his cheek. “What are you doing here?”

“Well, you said you couldn’t make dinner,” Carlos says quietly. “I thought I’d stop by.”

Marjan makes a face. “Hey, Paul, Nance, why don’t we go find Mateo and we can play doubles?”

“Yeah, Paul,” Nancy starts. “Why don’t Marj and I absolutely obliterate you and Mateo in foosball?”

The three walk away, already riling each other up. Tk watches them go with a quiet laugh but Carlos shifts in his seat. 

“So, Judd seems to be mad at me and you lied to Paul and Marjan.” He swallows. “And me.”

TK looks at him for a moment, then down at his hands. “I don’t know what’s going on with Judd and I don’t know what the others told you. But, Carlos, I wouldn’t lie to you.”

Carlos wants to call bullshit but he doesn’t. TK reaches for his hand but he pulls back. “Why don’t-- we’ll talk at home.”

Carlos turns just in time to see TK’s face fall. 

“No, Carlos, wait.”

He stops, against his better judgment.

“I’m- I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“Lying.” TK nods to himself. “I shouldn’t have.”

Carlos raises an eyebrow when he doesn’t continue. “That’s it?”

TK laughs helplessly. “What else are you expecting?”

He rolls his eyes and shrugs sarcastically. “I don’t know, TK, maybe an explanation?” TK purses his lips and looks off to the side. It’s his resigned look-- the one he makes when he doesn’t want to talk anymore. But Carlos isn’t giving up that easily. “Why did you lie to me? To Paul and Marj? What’s the real reason you can’t make it tonight?”

TK seems to consider something but evidently talks himself out of it. “That’s-- I can’t answer that, Carlos, please just drop it.”

This is it.

The one question he never thought he’d have to ask him. And he’s not sure he wants to know the answer. 

“Are you seeing someone else?”

TK hates the question as much as he does.

“God, no, ahuvi.” 

He tries to step close again but Carlos can’t. He doesn’t feel like he can trust him-- at least not right this moment. And he hates that. Because this is TK, the most caring and loyal person he knows. 

Or. He thought he knew. 

“Then what is going on?”

“Babe, please, just-”

His request is cut off by the alarm calling for the medical team. He sighs and curses under his breath. 

“Can we talk about this at home?”

Carlos scoffs. “Will you be there?”

He knows it’s uncalled for and he regrets the words immediately. The words make TK’s features twist in a way that Carlos never wants to cause again. He lingers a moment longer before going to the ambulance. 

Carlos pinches the bridge of his nose. He doesn’t know what to do or who to go to for advice. He might if he knew what was happening. But he’s been left out of the loop again and-- honestly? He’s getting pretty fucking sick of it. 

Continue Reading on AO3

#my bthb card #bad things happen bingo #my fics #tk strand #carlos reyes #judd ryder #paul strickland #nancy gillian

[eagehaunting]

Mystery March 2021 day 8: Home

I used today as an excuse to write out a little something on how Lewis took possession of the mansion! I hope you guys enjoy!

Lewis wasn’t sure how long he had been in this mansion. If he could focus enough to estimate, probably a few days, if worse came to worse, probably months.

And yet, he still hadn’t cleaned... Lewis turns a corner and takes in the long, dusty corridor. The many rickety doors stared back at him mockingly. The rugs hissed as they crunch under his shoes. The peeling wall paper threatened him with every step that he took.

“Lewis, what are you doing?” Comes a voice to his left, shocking Lewis out of his exhausted stupor and bringing him to look at the wall- more appropriately, the portrait. The woman with fine purple curls- Faust- stares back at him pointedly. “Well?”

“I... I wanted to get out of my room,” he admits, before his eyes wander to the mildew forming beside the portraits golden frame. “But now I remember why I didn’t want to come out.”

“Oh, don’t be like that. I know it seems difficult now, but it’ll become easier. I promise.”

His frown deepens, and Lewis sighs miserably while leaning against the wall across from her. “I know.. I just don’t think I’m ready.”

“Why’s that?”

“I haven’t gotten a hand on my powers. Not yet, ” Lewis admits, chewing on his lip. Faust rolls her eyes, but props her elbows on her frame. Even though she couldn’t poke her head out far enough, Lewis understood the sentiment.

“Lewis, look at me.” He drags his gaze to meet hers. Faust’s eyebrows soften, and she heaves a gentle sigh and leans out a bit more, letting her curls fall out and touch the dirtied ground. “Being dead is tough, trust me, I know. Being in your shoes is also hard, and I can’t imagine how much it’s hurting you to deal with what happened.” The almost condescending tone- something Lewis knew he was imagining - made him flinch, averting his gaze to the painted tree in Faust’s background. He almost regrets sharing all of his backstory with her, and if he knew she would have this tone most days, he would have kept his mouth shut.

“The house is ready to accept you, and so are all the occupants. We will stand behind you every step of the way.”

Lewis grimaces, but nods. There wasn’t a point in fighting her right now. He had a good feeling all of the other portrait ghosts would be on her side too. It only makes sense. Lewis did accept the role as the new owner... he just had to take control, let his power manifest.

Now if only it wasn’t so hard.

Clicking her tongue, Faust straightens up. “Worry not, Lewis. You don’t have to do it this instant, the moon is still out and clearly you aren’t in the right state of mind. Now...”

A distant familiar clacking of metal grew nearer. As two suits of armor step into the entrance of the hall, they cast Lewis a worried look. One that Lewis doesn’t return, instead opting to glare at the stained rug.

Faust continues, “I think it’s time for you to go back to sleep. We will figure your abilities out tomorrow.”

Lewis follows the guards up the steps, and then up another. The wall paper, bricks, and windows full of moonlight blurs together until it accumulates into one door. His door. Leading to the single highest room in the entire mansion.

The guards take their stand on either side of it, nodding to Lewis carefully and not waiting for him to nod back before stilling.

“Thank you, sir Clive, sir Ranveer.” Lewis murmurs, pushing open the door and stepping in.

The room is simple, despite the elegant state one may expect. An old, wooden bed frame, scratchy wool blankets and a silk top sheet. Light pink curtains that flutter in the open window. Lamps on either side of the bed that didn’t actually turn on.

His room, and yet far from it.

Pulling the blankets aside, Lewis crawls into the bed, nestling his face against the pillow and pretending like he couldn’t smell the light stench coming from it.

Tomorrow he will take hold of his power, and he will make this mansion his home.

His home, for him and all the spirits already residing within it.

Lewis’s eyes moisten as he falls into his ‘slumber’. Praying for no nightmares.

“Im going to take the lower path, why don’t you two take the other... don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine! I have Mystery.”

“Dont cling to Lewis too much Ar...”

The moss and slimy green walls reflected like a million eyes. All watching. All staring.

Even as Lewis peered up at his own hand, clutching his torch, knowing what was to happen... he wished more than anything that he could simply turn around.

His stomach drops, his blood runs cold. The sudden halt broke his fall, his spine bent oddly and digging behind his bellybutton.

Cold. Cold. Yet so hot.

Empty. Yet rushing. A river, but still. There was so much light at first, and then it was so dark. Growls, howls, screams of every kind...

Loneliness.

All he wanted... was for them to come back. Save him.

Of all the memories Lewis had to revisit, why did it always have to be this one?

There was still gaps, such as the moment when he hit the spike, and when he forced himself up. How he even did it, Lewis wasn’t sure, but he couldn’t focus on that when the gaping wounds in his chest filled with with and stung from the cold.

His legs still ached from the stillness and the fatigue, and from the exhaustion of being awake despite dying. He wobbled far, tracing his dead fingers along slimy walls and against currents of chittering laughs. Then the constant thought. A mantra. Over and over. Come back for me. Come back, please.

Wake him up from this bad dream.

If only he accepted that it wasn’t going to happen...

He didn’t know where he was going, nor how long he was going to walk, but Lewis didn’t stop until he was face to face with a tall metal gate that shined unlike the eyes in the walls.

The rusted lock doesn’t break, but Lewis pushes through like jelly.

The staircase was a nightmare. Transitioning from cave stone to proper granite the higher he ascended. All while the prickling sensation of being watched crept up his back and urged his weak and heavy body to move faster.

Lewis ‘wakes up’ up with a shallow gasp. Eyes wide, he pants. Slowly turning his head, a layer of sticky sweat clings to Lewis’s face. He wipes it away and peels back the blanket, crawling out of the bed as the lingers of his ‘dream’ fights to hold the forefront of his mind.

His friends... they still haven’t come back for him. The guards would have alerted him if they returned to the cave, and Lewis would have been rushing out the doors if he heard the familiar engine.

They weren’t here. Lewis isn’t sure why he kept expecting them to suddenly show up.

Pushing himself to move, Lewis hops into a float and drifts to the door. Figuring that he may as well show that he has a grasp on some of his new abilities, now he just needed to realize what his main skillset was.

The guards lead him down the flight of stairs, past the library, and the office, and to the largest room in the mansion.

The living room was filled with an air of elegance, even if covered in dust and mildew. Several portraits line the walls beside the mighty fireplace, and leading to it was two long couches and an even longer coffee table. Book cases sat in between the tall windows, and smaller spaces left unused seemed to act as their own mini lounge, with a smaller bookcase, chair, table, and lamp.

Lewis compared it to a community center before, but now it felt like a stage.

More guards file in behind Lewis, with Sir Clive and Ranveer taking their positions behind him. He could feel a heavy, although gentle pat on his back from Ranveer.

After that, the dozen or so smaller, formless and colorless ghosts fly in and take their seats on the cushions.

The fireplace before him seemed to smile at him. With its decorations acting as its wise and considering eyes.

A line of sweat slides down Lewis’s cheek. Now wasn’t the time for stage fright, but his legs lock up in their floating position. He inhaled slowly.

“Psst.”

Glancing over, Lewis catches the soft, affectionate smile on Faust’s face. She tilts her head. “You got this.”

Lewis balls his fists, ”Do I? I really didn’t expect everyone to gather for this...” he admits.

“We know.” The portrait of the priest, Father Zachariah, responds. He gives Lewis a stern look, reminding Lewis to stand straight. “We didn’t want this to be a private affair. If you are really taking over this mansion like you said you would, then we have to right to partake in your awakening.”

“Aw jeez, give the man a break, will ya?” Another portrait, Terri to wrestler reaches out and fists some of Zachariahs robe, glaring at him. “Can’t you see he’s nervous?” He then says, throwing out his hand in a grand gesture toward Lewis, who shrinks back slightly.

Tamaki, the attorney, rolls his eyes dramatically and pinches his brow. “Lewis, I can assure you this isn’t a judgment, quite the contrary. We knew that it would have been hard for you to do this on your own, so we are providing an ample amount of support throughout the activities. Do you understand?”

He nods, unsure how else to respond, although the exhaustion made Lewis want to join the spirits on the couch and take a long nap.

The two portraits of shadows, Haseeb and Ameena, also nod in tandem. “Yes, Lewis. Infact, since you enjoyed music, we wanted to bring out the excitement.... I hope you’re okay with that.”

“Speaking of which,” Faust pipes up, leaning out of her frame and narrowing her eyes at the spirits sat on the couch. “Weren’t you all supposed to grab your instruments? Where are they!”

The colorless ghosts jump and flash past Lewis in one synchronized movement, before rushing back just as quickly. Returning with old violins, cellos, flutes, clarinets, and trumpets. Two more lag behind, with a cymbals, and one final one dragging something heavy. He turns, eyes widening as a singular spirit drags a *piano* from a closet he didn’t remember being there.

”Hold on, I’ll help you.” he says before realizing he was moving, that is until he floats past to the other side of the piano and bracing itself underside. Only for the spirit to send him an anxious look.

Oh.. it’s probably too heavy for them to also lift. Lewis spots the mini orchestra and waves them over. ”We need more hands, come over here and help up.”

Abandoning their instruments, several more spirits rush and brace the other side, allowing the piano to be lifted and carried earlier.

“Yeah you deadbeats! Why do you need his command to get a move on?” Terri calls, anything but cruel however. Deadbeats... that’s an interesting term. Lewis faintly ponders as he sets the piano down, before going to retreat the stool.

At the same time, the living rooms doors open, and the puny skeletal gardener drags in the painter spirit.

“Rye! Thank you for fetching Elora.” Tamaki says.

“Oh eff off,” Rye responds, plopping down on one of the chairs and sinking down. “I was busy trying to save up my energy for tonight’s show. You want there to be flowers, right?”

Flowers?

“Yep, thats why the windows are open. Let’s wait until Lewis is prepared however.”

”N-no need to wait, I’m ready now,” Lewis squeaks out, clearing his throat as he turns and takes in the grumpy strawberry looking gardener.

Rye bobs their skull and spins away from him, “Fantastic.”

She raises her arms, and in a swift motion, glows the same ripe red color as her dress. All at once, the windows are swarmed with vines. Green foliage spilling in, connecting across the ceiling, draping and tangling amongst the curtains, and wrapping around the stone busts on the bookcases. It happened so fast that Lewis couldn’t react. Instead he gaps up at the magnificent display, watching as floral arrangements burst, forming meticulously designed patterns along the entire room.

When he finally tears his gaze away from the display, Lewis is met with calm, expectant smiles.

“Ready whenever you are, bucko.” Rye pats his arm and reclaims her seat, leaving him in the center of his imaginary stage.

Now, his anchor beats twice as fast, almost overwhelmed by all of the effort, all the eyes sim directly at him.

Pressing his finger tips together, Lewis wets his lips. Several heads tilt as they wait.

Clearing his throat, Lewis lowers his head,”... I’m sorry. What am I supposed to do first?”

Faust gasps lightly, the first to realize their crucial mistake. Ignoring Terri’s chiding, she clears her throat.

“Of course, Lewis, the first thing we need you to do, is concentrate on your internal thoughts. As you do, try to figure out which emotion or feeling is more prominent.”

A single note plays from the deadbeat sat at the piano, followed by the violin, and a growing hum from the others who hadn’t begun to playing. Lewis’s heart skips a beat, and he bites his lip as he closes his eyes. The piano continues, the notes floating through his mind and striking chords that were far from forgotten.

A new set of voices fill in the emptiness between notes, running alone side the piano and dancing along with the violin. A flute begins, and Lewis sharply inhales.

He loves music, he always has, it always made him want to dance. Grab the first person in arms length and pull them close, whether it be the waltz or a swing, it filled him with warm laughs that always spread across his face in a smile. A familiar tingle fills his arms, and Lewis is sure that he can feel Vivi in front of him, swaying as they listened to the music. The warmth grows as she fills his minds eye. Her soft scarf tangled in between them, how her skirt swirled and swished as she spun and dance, leaving him warm in the face and his chest full of bubbling warmth.

Warmth. He felt warm.

That certain warmth fills his hands, tingling at his finger tips and running along his scalp.

The room smelt faintly of decay and staleness, but a memory envelopes him, and Lewis is in his families kitchen. Dancing in place and singing at the top of his lungs with his sisters twirling around him. Cinnamon, garlic, sugars and herb fills his nostrils. The lavender and sweet floral in the air elevating the smells of their garden which he pranced through many times during the warm summer nights. The bonfires, the flare of heat from the oven, the thick humidity in a late evening as Lewis arm wrestles with his much scrawnier friend.

The warm spreads up his elbow and all along his back. Before Lewis knew it, the singing, the music grew loud, amplifying as more instruments add to the mix, and as his own voice joins them. A crash of the cymbals becomes the splash of the beach, and the laughter chittering along with it.

His heart races, and the warmth becomes hot and exhilarating as he recalls the endless nights of fondness. Of redness in his cheeks from drinking alongside his friends, on his tongue as he taste tests his fathers latest recipe, and the swell of pride upon seeing Cayennes first ballet recital.

Pride, love, happiness.

Spastic notes become fireworks. Blasting, rocketing, exploding across the night sky. It becomes the crash and crackle of buildings as he and his friends rush from burning buildings, away from spirits whose voice booms too loud. The warmth spreads to his legs, in the ache of running, carrying his friends over his shoulders in a desperate need to escape. As his heart burns in the terror of thinking they were hurt. In wanting to slam his fist into the fiends face for daring to threaten his loved ones.

The guards dance with him, metal clacking and sparking. Lights spot the area as Lewis shoots out his arms and pulls one in against his chest to spin in tandem, before releasing them in a dramatic flourish.

Anger, fear, the need to protect.

His friends, his family.

The loves of his life-

Lewis opens his eyes, and the passion fueling his movements die in an instant.

His hand glows, his arm flaring. A line of fire burns away from him, pink and flaming and just as excited as he was. Gasping, Lewis tears himself away, slipping and hitting the ground. The music screeches to a halt all at once. Everyone freezing.

“Lewis, are you okay?” Faust calls out, gripping her frame as if she were going to rip herself out of it. Concern warping her face, along with the other portraits, the ghosts, everyone.

“You were doing good!” Terri says, “don’t tell me you got cold feet!”

Tamaki nods in agreement, “it’s truly delightful to see you smile for once. I was worried we would never see it.”

Shoulders tense, Lewis’s eyebrows furrow.

That... was him?

Baffled, Lewis holds his hand in front of him, and sure enough his palm was glowing. He tenses the muscles, and he jumps as a small flame puffs out at him.

”I- wait, seriously? I did it?”

“Yes, you did. Marvelous work, Lewis.” Zachariah hums approvingly. The warmth- embarrassment and concern- floods his chest, before Lewis is smothered by smiling deadbeats swarming him in a hug. Curling around him and nuzzling their formless heads against his.

His legs twitch as Lewis rises, floating naturally instead of jumping this time, and becoming upright.

Everyone is smiling at him, faces warm and bright with delight. Warm with the same sentiment, that it was time to make this his home...

He knew it, they knew it, that had to be the entire point of everyone gathering. Not to help him, but to watch him accept them as his new family... leaving his old.

Leaving his family, and his friends...

Faust is the first to speak, eyes crinkling. “Are you ready?”

What about Vivi? Arthur? How is he going to be there for his sisters? How can he keep his friends safe if he can’t be there for them. He can’t abandon them. Because they won’t abandon him. They wouldn’t. They’re coming back for him.

”No. I’m not.”

The disappoint was clear by the stilted air. But no one argued with him. The deadbeats had sunk, their instruments hitting the ground in shock, before being lifted up and taken back to their proper places. The vines retreat and retract, and quietly, the spirits all left the living space. Even the first place seemed to grow cold, if that was even possible.

Lewis didn’t say anything to the portraits when he left the room and raced upstairs to his tower of solitude. The same thought racing through his head again and again.

They’re coming. They will.

Soon. Soon...

Soon...?

Feeling trapped and terribly homesick, Lewis crawls under his blankets. His eyes sting from moisture that shouldn’t accumulate in the sockets, but he wipes them away anyway. Pulling the blanket over his head, Lewis curls into a ball.

Why did it hurt so much reject them? Why did it hurt so much to hold off for so long?

What was he expecting? For Arthur and Vivi to pull up in their bright Orange van and pull him out of the bed, pull him into an embrace, and into the van. Whisk him away so he can embrace his mami and papi, kiss his sisters and tell them how much he missed them.

Why was he even holding out hope? They arent coming back! Why would they...

Arthur killed him... Lewis’s arms shake and he grips the blankets. Arthur shoved him off that fucking cliff with a smile on his face. He should be grateful for anyone to accept him into their family.

He wanted to slam his fist into his gut, to direct the pain from his aching chest. Lewis wanted his eyes to stop stinging.

But he couldn’t. Home was where they were, and he has been thrown away.

Lewis fell into a half sleep, living through the same memory of his death again and again. Watching as his nightmare loops with his life being torn from his grasp with a single push.

That one moment of inaction, the one second of trust. And now?

Lewis is dead.

The memory looped for a fifth time, with Lewis desperately searching for an escape from the grip of reality, when the universe finally gives him one.

An engine. It’s not loud, and it rattles lightly. Lewis pops awake, disoriented from the jarring switch from the cave to his bed, but he disregards it.

Tearing the blankets, an adrenaline thrashes through him. Warmth, heat, rocketing through him. It burns his soles as the impossible dangles right in front of him.

It can’t be, is it really them?

Are they here for him?

Lewis’s anchor skips a beat as he almost falls down the first set of steps. Before he hits the steps face first, his body vanishes in a burst of flame and reappears with a running start at the bottom. The halls wake up with the pound of his feet and his heart, and Lewis forgets that others lived on this decrepit mansion as he races to the main stairway, leading to the front door.

He expects specks of blue, yellow, and white to meet him there. For smiles to spread across their face as they run to swallow him in a hug.

Lewis freezes. Heart going still. Heat draining as he takes it in...

There’s four people, who he hardly recognizes, except for the role they were trying to play as they whisper amongst themselves.

”This place wasn’t here a few days ago.” “do you think it’s a trap?” “Do you think anyone’s here?”

Paranormal investigators...

They start to wander, poking at the busts and pushing open doors, unaware of Lewis staring at them.

It’s not them, his friends aren’t coming.

Now strangers are in ... in this mansion, disturbing the people who have been nothing but kind to Lewis.

The need to protect returns, strong and lashing as his fists ball up, tears stinging his eyes.

Teeth grinding, heat pools into his hands, and fire spits out like sparks of electricity. Finally grabbing the investigators attention as he stomps on the first step. The fire crackles, leaving a singed footprint in its place, but Lewis doesn’t care. Focusing on the bug eyed look of the four intruders who back away in mounting terror as the flames rise.

Breath coming out in hisses, Lewis growls. ”Get out.”

It was enough to send the four scrambling for the door, the engine roaring again as they undoubtedly piled in. Just in time for the suits of armor to clamber behind him, looking around in shock until they see him.

The furious gaze didn’t die upon seeing them. No. Except Lewis turns away from them and floats to the bottom step, theres a strain on his body that extinguishes the fire in his hands, but that didn’t matter.

Lewis rounds the corner, leaving a trail of smoking fire pits in his wake.

Until he’s stood in front of the fireplace, the hearth that he was instructed to simply light it to accept his place as the homes new owner and protector.

His first family protected him, but his loved ones ended his life. Now it’s his turn to ensure the safety of the only family he may have left.

Lewis’s arm wavers as he lifts it up, a ball of fire burning his palm and spitting in every which direction as he glares at the fireplace, whose glass doors open wide.

The flame shoots out, and upon making contact with the bricks and wood, the entire mansion lights up in a magical blast. Transforming peeling wallpaper to freshly striped, strewing chandeliers in every room it could fit, burning away the rot and leaving the floors warm and spotless.

Everything around him changed in an instant, but Lewis doesn’t see it.

His anchor hits the ground with a soft clink, hot to the touch and wet with tears.

#lewis pepper #msa #mystery skulls animated #mystery march 2021 #eage fanfic #does any of this makes sense? beats me #I’m lowkey out of spoons lolll #Portrait ghosts #ocs

[rant-2-me]

i feel like im getting notthing done these days, like my life just going to complete waste. i should be doing something with my life by now i think, like im studying enough and im not rlly been feeling happy lately either cause i feel so much stress. i have exams in like 3 weeks and i dont know what to do for that either.

oh my sweet nonnie, listen,

There’s no set time frame for doing anything.

you can do things in your own time without having to worry about being “behind.” Sometimes it’s the things we do that feel like “stalling” or “getting off track” that end up being the most helpful for our growth.

theres a lot of sugarcoating advice on the internet that might say you're not wasting your life, and don’t get me wrong, that’s true — but it doesn’t help your situation at all.

You don't need to be "doing anything" with your life right now, maybe right now you just need to

Success is not measured by the rate in which we accomplish something, but in the fact that we have accomplished something

What you need is action.

you need to do something that makes you happy and is easy(ish) to do.

The best way to find direction is to trust your instincts instead of forcing yourself to do things because you think you “should.”

Your intuition is a powerful compass, and even if you think you aren’t making progress, if you’re following your instincts, you are.

There are always going to be opportunities that look good on paper, and that little, scared voice within may tell you that your life will only matter if you take them.

Other people may also tell you this, if not directly, indirectly; or you may assume they’re thinking this when really they’re too immersed in their own confusing journey to pass judgment on yours for long.

But sometimes the best opportunities are the ones you don’t take, leaving yourself open for choices that better align with your own values and priorities.

I know this may sound as impossible as growing wings and flying, but try not to worry so much about what other people might think. They may have expectations, but you aren't responsible for the vision of you they've made up in their minds.

The only one who can make wise decisions for you is you. And even if it makes you feel anxious at times, you will eventually thank yourself for being brave enough to follow your heart, not someone else’s head.

When it comes to creating purpose, there truly is no “wrong” decision.

You may think you only have one purpose and that you need to push yourself to find it, you can continue thinking this, if you’re okay with feeling pressured and scared.

Or instead of aiming to discover the one thing you’re supposed to do with your life, you could focus on discovering the one thing you want to try right now,

you can change direction any time. And that changing direction won’t be something to be ashamed of; it won’t mean you failed at discovering your purpose before. It will mean you had one purpose then, and now your purpose has changd—evolved.

It will mean you’re brave enough to let yourself evolve, repeatedly undertaking the sometimes terrifying process of discovering what else you can do.

Maybe that in itself can be a purpose—to live life in that vulnerable, uncertain place where you’re not boxed into one way of being, free to roam when it would feel much safer to tether yourself to one role.

How to get things done

1. before you actually do anything, take a whole day to shamelessly do nothing. its just one (1) day to relax,calm down, do something that makes you happy, let your entire body take a breath before it springs into action, an arrow draws back before it hits it target

2. when you wake up the next morning, dont reach for your phone. dont scroll social media or check the news. in fact, before you start your day, (if its possible) switch off your phone or put it on do not disturb put it somewhere your mind wont wander towards. give it to a friend and tell them not to give it back until u sit down and finish your work.

3. start by finishing tasks you figure will take less than 2 minutes.

need to water the plants? it'll take less than 2 minutes; do it. need to feed the fish? takes less than two minutes; do it! get all the easy work out of the way first.

4. check what your most time sensitive tasks are. finish them first.

5. try and figure out whats stopping you from doing something. most of the time it isn't just "laziness" that stopping you from doing something, sometimes its because the perfectionist in you is worried that if you try hard on that you'll fail. but the thing is, you can try again. and again. and again, and again until you get it right. try chipping at it slowly

for example, say you have to take notes for a class, and you have 10 pages to copy down, before you start watching a tv show, just write 2 pages of notes. you can also try the pomodoro method: do work for 25 minutes, then take a 5 minute break. repeat.

but something like studying and having hobby is something that needs to be repeated, over and over again, like a routine

How to add something into your routine:

start easy. the first time you do the hobby, it should be a cake walk

e.g:

exercise every day first day: 5 push ups.

1000 words every day first day: 10 words and so on.

try to do the activity after or before or even during a hobby you already do e.g.:

read 20 books in a year and you already: drink tea every day so you should: read 5 pages as you drink tea

you want to learn a language and you already: plait your hair before you sleep so you should: watch a video teaching you about that language before you plait your hair

mountains are easier to climb with a friend, so you can get someone to do it with you!

How to study

Get a good night’s sleep: A recent study found a positive relationship between students’ grades and how much sleep they’re getting. However, this doesn’t only mean getting a full 8 hours of sleep before a big test. What matters, even more, is getting enough sleep for several nights before you do the bulk of your studying.

Switch up your study environment: Studies show that switching up your study environment can increase recall performance. Instead of studying at home every day, try checking out a new coffee spot each week or heading to your local library. A change in scenery can improve both your memory and concentration levels.

Stick with an environment that works: If you have a good space at home or a café that is reliably a productive place for you, it makes sense to stick with this when you are under pressure.

Listen to calming music: You can listen to any music you like, but many agree that classical, instrumental, and lo-fi beats make good background music for studying and can actually help you pay attention to the task at hand. Songs with lyrics can be distracting.

Eliminate distractions: Eliminate distractions by silencing your phone and any annoying background noises such as the TV or radio. Make a pact with yourself to avoid checking social media until your study session is over.

Snack on smart food: Coffee and candy will give you a temporary boost, but then you’ll have a damn sugar crash. For energy that is more focused and sustainable, try healthy snacks such as edamame, apples, or nuts.

and most importantly!

grades and test scores =/= your value as a human being

aight nonnie, that is all, *mwah* i believe in you, i believe that your strong and wonderful and you can handle this, *hugs you (if youre ok w it)* please take care of yourself

dont forget to drink water, get some sleep, eat some food, and please take care of yourself!! have a nice day,

mod peppermint out B)

#ask #anon #mod peppermint #rant #school #exams #student life #student motivation #motivation

[dingobabywrites]

 so, in light of recent events, people have been discussing when they think Dean and Cas realized that they were in love with each other. While I 100% believe dean realized in purgatory, I dont think Castiel realized until Dean broke Naomi's connection.

BUT!!!!

I also think that is around the same time Sam realized it too. Obviously Charlie already knew ( " what about Castiel, he seems helpful and..Dreamy" she's a lesbian. That comment wasn't for Her!") I think Charlie was the one to point it out to sam and I think the two of them agreed to keep it to themselves since neither of those two would have been able to handle that information. So, I wrote a little thing about how I think it went down.

I also wanted to give myself an explanation for those wierd looks and mystery note from the end of the episode...so yeah...here's that.

Sam hobbled down the hall to the guest room, his hand still throbbing from knocking Dean unconcious . It was…worrisome, to say the least, that he was having this much trouble with healing from such a minor injury, not to mention the other things that were happening to his body; the fatigue, coughing up blood. Troubling, but, as much as he hated to admit it, worth it. Dean had been pissing him off more than usual lately anyway. It wasn't just the trials. Sure, he was frustrated with Dean for thinking he wasn't strong enough to handle them (he had fought against Lucifer in his own mind for christ's sake) but it was everything else too. His loyalty to Benny still didn't sit right with him. He had been so quick to kill Amy, just because she was a monster. He didn't care that she was just feeding her kid. She was just a monster to him. But for some reason, Benny got a pass. Sure, the guy saved both their asses, he was grateful for that, but even Bobby knew it was wrong.

And then there was Cas.

 

Sam wanted nothing more, than to tell Dean that he should have learned his lesson the first time with the Angel. It wasn't like he didn't like Castiel. Of course he did. He was appreciative of everything the guy had done for them. Dean was right that he had saved their asses more than once. It was just….at the end of the day, whether they liked him or not, Castiel had betrayed them. He understood that perfectly. What he couldn't understand, was why dean was so suprised by him doing it again. Hell, Dean had been the one to bring up that fact that the guy wasn't acting right since he got back and yet, there he was, praying to him, putting his trust in him again. It was maddening, to say the least. He had tried to talk to his brother about it, but Dean immediately shut down.

So, yeah, his hand was still hurting, but it was damn worth it.

He turned the corner to find Charlie stuffing her things into her duffle. He knocked on the door frame with his uninjured hand. "Hey, there."

"Sam." She half smiled, when she turned around, her eyes still a little bleary from crying. "Hi, I'm just…just packing up to head out and…" she sniffled and plopped down on the bed, covering her face as she began crying anew.

Sam walked into the room and pulled up the desk chair, sitting down in front of her. "Dean told me what happened, while you two were under." He said. "I am so sorry about your mom, Charlie." He placed his hand on her shoulder as she began crying harder. "I know how hard it is to let go like that…"

"Dean was right," she sniffed. "I needed to stop holding on."

Sam let out a bitter scoff and pulled his hand back, squeezing both hands between his legs. "Yeah, Dean's always right, isn't he? Too bad he can't follow his own advice."

Charlie looked up, her eyes sad and confused. "Holding on to my mom was the reason I was stuck there. If he hadn't made me let go, I would have died.we both would have."

Sam shook his head at himself, trying his damndest to let go of his own bitterness to be there for his friend. "Ya, I know. I'm sorry…just…I know you're hurting right now, I just want you to know I'm here for you."

Charlie sniffed again, wiping her arm across her face to dry it before leaning back and staring at Sam. "I don't get it." She said, as firmly as possible.

Sam, leaned back and shrugged. "Me neither, really. I always thought all djinn fed off happiness. It's like every time we figure stuff out, something new comes along to throw us off our game."

"Not that." Charlie said, waving his statement off. Sam looked at her, confused, not sure what she was referring to. She took a breath and pulled a book out of her duffle throwing it on Sam's lap. 'Mystery Spot' By Carver Edlund. "You say these books happened in real life. That everything written in them actually went down…but the past two times I've been around you guys…you certainly dont act like you do in the books."

Sam skimmed the first page of the book and chuckled, tossing it back on the bed next to Charlie. "Yeah, well, things have just been different, I guess."

"So, you used to love and support each other, no matter what and now you just, what? Stopped?" She asked.

"It's…" Sam scoffed and shook his head. "things are just, more complicated now…"

"You maybe, wanna elaborate there buddy?" She asked. "I may be a genius, but a mind reader, I am not."

Sam let out a breath and scrubbed a hand through his hair. He figured it might feel better to at least get something off his chest. "To be honest Charlie, I dont think Dean is cut out for the job anymore."

"Why not?"

"His judgment, for one thing." Sam answered. "I don't know, just ever since he got back from purgatory… he's been…it's like he can't think straight anymore. He used to be no nonsense when it came to killing monsters and only trusting people he knew he could trust and now… I mean, I get it. Purgatory was rough on him, but the guy has literally been to Hell and back. I don't see why this time is any different."

"What do you mean?" Charlie asked softly.

"I mean like, being friends with a freaking vamp." Sam answered, coldly. "Yeah, Benny wasn't like the others, and I get the whole 'brother's in arms' aspect, but it still doesn't make sense." He waved his hand, gesturing back at the book before letting it drop. "That Dean? That Dean would have never put his trust in a monster. That Dean wouldn't let people back into his life that had screwed him over, and now…I don't know, now it's like he just doesn't care about letting people in that who could hurt him, or…people who already have."

"So, it's not just about the vampire." Charlie said. "Who else has Dean been trusting that you don't think he should?"

Sam gritted his teeth and shook his head. "Cas really messed him up Charlie. I mean, the guy already turned his back on us once and Dean just let him back into our lives like nothing even happened."

"Ah." Charlie said, with complete understanding. "Okay, I get it now."

"Get what?" Sam asked.

"I get why Dean has been acting wierd, duh." She said, like it was obvious. Sam sat, staring at her, trying to peice together what puzzle she seemed to have completed. "Oh, my God. Do you really not see it?" Charlie laughed.

"Um, no?" Sam said, skeptically.

"Wow," she scoffed. "And here I thought you were the observant one." Sam waited for her to explain herself, still utterly lost on what she was talking about. "It's Castiel." She said, speaking to him as if he were a child.

"What about him?" Sam asked, hoping like hell that she wasn't talking about the angel brainwashing his brother or something.

"I've read the books, Sam." She said. "I know all about Dean's special Angel friend."

"No." Sam shook his head. "No, chuck stopped writing after Dean went to hell. There's no way you could have a read anything about Cas."

Charlie scrunched her face and bobbed her head back and forth. "Mmmm, not exactly." She reached into her bag and pulled put her laptop, turning it on. "Remember how I said the books were online now?" Sam nodded waiting for her to continue. "Okay, dont get mad," she said as she typed "but, he may have kept writing a little bit longer than you thought…."

"He what?!" Sam said, furious. They had told that dick to knock it off after that stupid convention."How long?"

"Relax." She said, scrolling through some page on her screen. "He stopped after you sacrifice yourself to Hell, actually. It was beautifully written by the way, super emotional, but no one has seen or heard from him since."

'Good!' Sam thought to himself. He felt a little bad for that thought, since Kevin was now the prophet it meant that the reason no one had heard from Chuck was likely because he was dead, but at least no one else could know more about their lives than they already did. "Okay, but what does any of this have to do with Dean? Why would Cas be the reason he's acting wierd?"

Charlie sighed, cringing to her self a little. "Well, as you already know, where there's a fandom, there's most likely fanfiction…"

"I'm aware." Sam said, peeved by the memory of stumbling upon the fanfiction written about him and Dean.

"Look, I'm not saying anything is definite, but alot of people who write fanfiction are really good at reading between the lines." She clicked her mouse a few times before closing her laptop and setting it back in her bag. "I mean, I've read all the books myself, and I totally know that you guys are real people and not some fictional characters, and it's completely not okay to speculate on your lives and feelings or whatever...but I mean, it's kinda hard not to see where they're all coming from."

"What are you talking about, Charlie?"

"Dean said that Benny helped him fight through purgatory, right?" She said. "He met him pretty early on in his time there, no?"

"Yeah," Sam said, still completely bemused, "I guess…Dean hasn't really talked a lot about what happened while he was there. He told me some things, but he never really went into detail."

Charlie nodded and shrugged sheepishly before continuing. "Okay, so he met Benny early on, and Benny told him he had a way to get back, right off the bat. So, why did it take them so long to get out of there?"

"Dean said he spent alot of his time searching for Cas." Sam answered.

"Exactly!" She exclaimed, like that should have been the answer.

"I'm sorry Charlie, I still don't understand what you're getting at here."

"Sam, he could've come back at any point after meeting Benny. They only spent as much time as they did together, because Dean wanted to bring Castiel back with him. Even after everything he did. Don't you think that's a little…suspicious?"

"That's exactly what I've been saying!" Sam said. "Why would he do that?!"

"Yeah, Sam, why?" She said, still trying to lead him. "Why would someone run back into a fire, when they have a way out? I mean, I think you, of all people, would know the answer to that."

Sam gaped at her in shock. It took a minute for him to register what she was implying, but once he did… "Charlie, that's…"

"Just a thought!" She defended before he finished. "I'm just saying that Dean doesn't normally put his trust in people. Except, maybe…the people he REALLY cares about and the people that protect them. Maybe there's more to the story when it comes to his trust in Benny than you thought. I definitely feel like there's more when it comes to Castiel."

"Charlie, come on." Sam laughed a little. " You know Dean. He's…"

"More complicated than people give him credit for." Charlie cut him off. "He also knows how hard it is to let go of the people he loves. He's actually really bad at it. Maybe, worse than you know."

"Charlie," Sam started, before being cut off once more.

"He's definitely more concerned about you than you think." Charlie said firmly, standing up as she did. She began packing once more, keeping her eyes averted from Sam's. "He's not trying to control you, you know. He raised you, Sam. You mean alot to him. You ever think for a moment that he's just really scared for you? Scared of losing you? I mean, back to my point, he is really bad at losing people."

Sam sat in silence, petulantly mulling over Charlie's words. She was right, probably. Dean may have been scared, but it was still possible that he just couldn't hack the life anymore. Sam wasn't some child. And the other stuff she was saying…she was way off base. There was a big difference between reading about someone's and living it.

"I sent you the link to the website I used to read the books." Charlie said as she zipped up her bags. She slung her backpack over her shoulder crossing her arms as she stared him down. "I know you lived through it all and everything, but not every part was about you. There's a few things you may have missed."

"Yeah, I don't think that's gonna happen." Sam shook his head.

"Just a suggestion." She shrugged. "It might open your eyes to a few things you don't understand. I get not wanting to relive those times but…if you ever decide that's something you might wanna do, hit me up. I can tell you what chapters to skip, or whatever. And, if your really curious about Dean's relationship to Castiel, 'On the Head of a Pin' is a good place to start. The torture chapters are pretty rough, and I know you'll want to skip over your parts…but the other stuff.…" she shrugged.

"Okay." He said, at a loss for more words than that.

"You ready to roll?" Dean said, from the doorway, knocking on the door frame before entering the room.

"Looks, like it." Charlie smiled up at him as he entered.

"I didn't interrupt anything did I?" Dean asked looking between her and Sam with concern written all over his face. "You guys look a little spooked."

"Ew, gross, no." Charlie said, scrunching her face at Dean's implications. "Sam, was just helping me with my bags. Right Sam?"

"Uh, yeah…" Sam said, standing up and grabbing her duffle off the bed.

"Eh, come on, you know I'm just teasin ya!" Dean chuckled, jabbing her on the shoulder playfully. "He may have the hair, but the body parts are all wrong, right?"

"Definitely." Charlie agreed.

"Come on." Dean said, tilting his head toward the door. He waited for Charlie to leave the room, then cast a skeptical glance at Sam before following after. Sam was sure he was in for an earful after she left. He began dreading it as he said his goodbyes, anticipating the lecture as he told Charlie she was welcome to comeback at anytime. But it wasn't the only thing on his mind now. After bidding Charlie farewell, he went inside, giving the two of them their time alone. He hesitated for a moment, convinced that the trials were seriously messing with his head if he was even considering this. Then again…

He headed to the library, grabbing a peice of paper and a pen on his way and sat down. 'This is just stupid.' He thought to himself as he wrote down the words 'On the Head of a Pin'. He heard the bunker door open. Dean walked up, the look on his face telling Sam that it was time for his ass- chewing, so he decided to cut it off before it could start.

He clicked the pen closed and stood up, ready to defend his actions. "Okay, look you were right. I-I should laid low. I-I know." He said as Dean approached him."I should have hung back. I'm glad I was able.."

Then Dean grabbed him. Then Dean pulled him into a hug. It wasn't at all what he was expecting. He was lost, but relieved and hugged his brother back.

Dean chuckled and patted his back before pulling away. "What do you say we find our prophet?." Dean smiled, before smaking him in the chest and walking away.

Sam was left to himself, completely bewildered by what had just occurred. Dean had certainly not been acting like himself, but this was a whole new level. Maybe there was some truth to Charlie's words? Maybe he really was just scared? Maybe Sam really didn't know everything about his brother. Now, wasn't the time to think about that, though. Dean was right, the had to look for Kevin. They had work to do. Research.

But Dean had to sleep at some point. Maybe Sam could do a little light reading in that time.

If Charlie was right about Dean being scared for him, who knew what else she was right about?

#destiel #fanfic #destiel crack #crack post #this is not at all what happened #unless

[akechicrimes]

Would it be possible to hear your director's commentary on "the yellow glass"? That's my favourite out of your stories, so it'd be great to hear more about it!

the yellow glass

oh wow i haven’t thought about this fic in so long.... i’m so glad that you still remember it and like it that much?? ;A;

for a whole second i was like “idk if i have anything to say about this fic” but then actually it turns out i do

i dont actually think that akira is from inaba in canon, but i think it’s super cute as an idea for fanfic and fanon?? lolol i just like the idea that wild cards could come so close to crossing paths

the premise was originally that akira almost winds up going through the tv at a very young age because he’s a future wild card, but then it turned into a whole bunch of other questions i had about akira as a character? because akira unpacks a LOT of anger the second he awakens arsene, and i cant imagine that all of that came just from being mistreated for a couple of months, especially because he’d been such an obvious goody-two-shoes in his backstory flashback. i was always like HM something doesnt add up here lmao

i legitimately threw goro’s section in there just because it was a prompt for shuake week and i felt obligated to have both akira and goro in the fic to call it shuake, but then it turned into an interesting contrast because goro has never once doubted that things are fucked up, unlike akira; unlike akira, goro has never once doubted himself, even when there was nobody there to corroborate his sense of reality. for better or for worse, haha. 

i think it was only after i wrote goro’s section that i went back and aded all the stuff in akira’s section about how he felt like something was wrong, but he didn’t trust his own judgment on that because everyone else thought things were fine

i remember kind of going down this line of thinking until i reached the end (”Something is wrong in the world—he knows it—he’s not wrong. He can prove it. He can show you the wound himself. And if there is no wound, he’ll just have to make his own.“) and i cant explain where the last sentence came from, but writing that last line bothered me so much for a reason that i cant really explain that i stopped writing on the spot

when i say i “stopped writing” i mean that i stopped for like, two hours, because i wrote all seven shuake 2019 prompts in a mad delirious haze in less than two weeks, totaling 25k words. i really thought at the time i had been possessed by the devil or something but actually it was just my first experience with the Goro Akechi Brainworms, which i sadly still have today LOL

ask for the director’s cut on a fic i’ve written

#mine #acelania

[papers4me]

Fruits Basket 2019 (ep,24) Part 1

 A monster? suicide? child’s verbal abuse? destructive rage? despair? emotional scene? tons of tears? questionable director choices?.. This 20min ep has it all!  Although this ep contain fictional creature & magic, it is one of the realest episodes in furuba, yet. 

 Kyo’s monster represent the psychological abuse of children in toxic families. Unlike kyo’s zodiac form, the cat, this monster is an alien creature that doesn’t resemble anything in nature (inducing fear), it is misshapen, deformed, reeks of rotten smell (inducing disgust), dangerously powerful (life-threatening). A child is repeatedly told that he has committed the biggest sin there is. Murder. “you killed your mother”, or “you are the reason she died”  He’s been told that by many ppl, including the person who symbolized safety & trust (his father). It is so disgusting yet real & common when adults talk bad/gossip about children within a close distance. children take words literally & hold them in their hearts for a life time! Kyo screams “It is not my fault!”, but adults say so, whose faults is it then? “the rat!” Why? “he’s the one who tricked the cat”. Who is the rat? Yuki. A child is trying to rationalize the injustice & stupid accusations of the adults. 

“I’ll kill yuki, then kill myself, you would be happy if I die, won’t you?” This is the most tragic sentence in furuba, yet. More tragic cuz it is uttered by a child. A child believes since I’m a killer, then I’ll fix the problem, I’ll kill the source of pain, the rat, yuki, Tragic. I’ll kill myself. So tragic. You’d be happy, father. Extremely tragic. knowing your parent would be happy if you died. Kyo’s mom killed herself, it is her choice, regardless of the hidden reasons or her mental state, he’s told that Your parent chose death over you. How horrible are you that your mother chose death over you. You turn into a literal monster. No doubt the kyo’s mom loved him, but it is so tragic that she herself abused her child unintentionally. by sheltering, locking, hiding him away from the world. Kyo’s monologue is a real depiction of children’s ability to see fake-ness in adults. I love you,son, continues to lock him, I’m not afraid, continue to check his beads, I’m proud of you, no one should see you. No wonder kyo has no trust in ppl.

Kyo harming tohru is a real depiction of his broken mental & emotional state. look at Yuki/Kisa, their response to abuse is to withdraw, hurt themselves by avoiding life, they are like destructive water, has to fill the inside first before it spills. Kyo’s response is rage, it is like fire, spreads outside & inside at once. There is conflicting feelings inside him that drives him crazy, He denies strongly that he killed his mom, but feels tremendous guilt she’s not alive becuz he’s monster. He says there is no hope for him, yet continues to live with tohru wishing she never discovers his true form, says he’ll kill yuki, yet he never grabs a knife & do it. He is fighting his abuse but doesn’t know how. Moreover, I love that tohru approaching kyo in such state of rage is not a safe choice. Realistically, try to approach an angry father/friend, they’ll hurt you in their rage, They are not in a state that make them make a good judgment. I have a feeling kyo might’ve hurt himself as well. He lost his trust in kazuma & thinks tohru is safer away from him, he would definitely hurt himself had tohru didn’t “save” him.

How did tohru save kyo? she didn’t. Did she tell him he’s not a monster or that it’ll be okay or you’re a good person? NO. She didn’t even talk about him! she talked about herself, her desire, “let’s go home”..” I want us to live , worry & study together” screw the sohma’s & all the pain, lets go home! “I’ll listen if you complain” why? cuz you did that to me! she’s implying you are needed without saying it out loud! “I’m scared of you” honesty, No fake-ness, no shallow words with contradictory actions. So, kyo hugs tohru intentionally & this is big coming from kyo!! The guy who flinches whenever someone touches him, hates to show weakness & vulnerability, wants to be strong & doesn’t allow himself to cry. Cries in front of tohru, hugs her, puts his hand through her hair, & calls her name..... This is a huge step!! he completely accepts tohru. She knew it, she felt it & her tears expressed it.

Kyo’s monologue is directed to the viewers. “this is how you melt the ugly feelings” with kindness, honesty & sincerity.  Kyo is not healed, yet. he can still transform into a monster, meaning the abuse is still affecting him strongly. but he is giving hope & someone to trust.  kyo’s last words are painful cuz they show how low he thinks of himself “ how is it that someone like you stay by me & cry for me”.. he still has a long way.

side notes:

kyo’s ” i dont have right, it is a mistake” that tohru is by him, why?

Kyo said “tohru” with no honorifics. When is yuki’s turn? Cant wait!

I have a strong criticism abt the director’s choices, but will write it in a separate post. hint: “shallow waters”......sigh~

I’m convinced now that if there’s romantic love, it is kyo & tohru. This ep & the previous one is purely about them showcasing their vulnerability exclusively to each other. tohru’s weakness is only seen by kyo & kyo’s tears are only seen by tohru. There is an equal showcase of need & support between them.

If yuki/tohru is going to be presented as a possible romantic love, then, the show must convince me strongly & equally. yuki has shared his weakness with tohru, but tohru is yet to share with yuki.

If the show wants to go the love triangle road with one of the boys ending up as unrequited love, then it can be either one of them depending on what tragic drama will happen.

The beauty & the beast theme is strong. Tohru tamed the monster with sincerity & kindness. Such beautiful strength within weakness! ugh!! Tohru is my all time fave female character!

I’ll talk about kazuma/ yuki/shigure/kagura’s reactions in another post.

I love the diverse depiction of response towards abuse by children in furuba. so real.

#Fruits Basket #Anime Only #long post! #emotional paper #part 1

[semiconducting]

just reflecting on some personal growth stuff from last year !

im actually. genuinely okay. like i think im starting this year feeling okay! which is atypical. 

i think i can attribute it to the enormous amount of work id put into myself over the past year...i remember one year ago being extraordinarily depressed and really just. high strung? incredibly anxious but exhausted. and i fell down a descent slowly from not eating, to getting really irritable and not handling conflicts with friends well, to actively self harming again, to the point where i remembered sitting in a coffee shop with one of my friends and saying out loud that i need to go to therapy. and that i was going to talk to a mutual friend of ours about how the therapy services on campus are. which was a huge step for me! ive always had trust issues with therapy services since i was 12 for reasons i wont go into, but im sure you can gather the point of.

and then, literally the next day after saying that, got news about campus shutting down because of the virus.

and i made all of the effort possible to reach out to my friends and get things figured out to weather the storm because i KNEW shit was going to get bad if i didnt. but only one of my friends was really keeping up, and thats because he and i do homework together so we were already in a rhythm of talking every single week no matter what. and thats not to say that im ungrateful for him or the fact that even still he was there for me while i was going through hell, i have this thing about Not Putting All My Problems On And Confiding In One Person And One Person Only. so i withdrew, i stopped talking to everyone, i stopped logging into my classes, i didnt do any homework, i didnt lead my workshops, didnt hold office hours...i was just wallowing in my own misery

and i made plans to kill myself. and thats like, i mean i could say that several dozen times over the course of a year since i was like 12, but i mean a legitimate walkthrough plan. had my hiking bag packed with everything i was going to use, decided where i was going to, and was going to prep myself for it. wrote drafts and drafts of suicide notes until i decided just leaving the contact info of people who needed to know asap was all i was going to leave. in addition to sticky notes on some stuff in my room for what needed to be returned to who, or if something should go to someone in particular...

and i acted as normally as i could around my housemates. attributed my not leaving my room much to being busy with classes. i have a rule to myself to always sleep at least one night before killing myself because if im really serious about going through with it it can always wait one day. this time i decided i was going to clean my room and leave it as pristine as possible. the last thing i had to do was a load of laundry, and then i was going to do it.

and then someone from campus showed up at my door. because one of my professors filed a report and i hadnt responded to any of the emails id received checking in on me.

so i readjusted. caught up on my schoolwork, just barely finished the semester and definitely didnt do it strong or well (god bless the pass/fail option bc of covid LOL), but i did it nonetheless. went home, started my internship, had a miserably mundane summer.

i grew bitter and apathetic. i was angry at my friends for not being responsive when i reached out to them to talk or hang out or do anything. i got tired of dealing with it. i was tired of feeling alone and like no one gave a shit about me except for when it was convenient for them. i decided that i wasnt going to deal with people who werent willing to put any effort into me, so i stopped talking to everyone and kept up with people who were willing to reach out after the fact.

it’s definitely not the best approach. it’s really unforgiving and it doesn’t give people a lot of benefit of the doubt, but i think it was necessary in some respect. i didn’t have any criteria for how people needed to reach out, or how long after, or whatever, just that they did. really needed people in my life who are willing to communicate with me. i was honest with how i was feeling and why i did things if they did, apologized for the shitty approach, thanked them for still being willing to talk to me, and worked out the best way for both of us to keep things going.

over the months i dont think i really regret the decision, because it’s been a weight off my shoulders. i feel a lot better. i’m far more okay with where i stand in all of my friends’ lives, even if that’s not as a priority and even if that’s as just someone to talk to and catch up with like a couple times a year. it took a bit for it to pay off but it’s nice to take a look at people i was putting far too much work into and upon reflection realizing that they only interacted with me when they needed something from me, and not for me as a person. i think there are still people where there are loose ends and i think i may try reaching out myself to tie those up at some point, whenever i have the energy and clarity of mind for it. but i guess at the end of the day i just decided that people who weren’t willing to communicate weren’t worth the time. i’m okay if that communication means i need to be the one to initiate conversations even! i just need to know that.

but yeah. i came back to ny and started the semester totally apathetic and angry. i was so fucking depressed and bored with everything even if i was keeping myself incredibly busy. the only thing that i found rewarding (and what was just barely keeping me going) was leading my workshop for the intro optics class. 

and then a friend -- the same friend i was at the coffee shop with -- reached out to catch up. and i was honestly really bitter and angry with him and was prepping myself to start listing out issues that i hadnt been able to address with him beforehand (side note, while telling friends the issues you have with them is important, listing shit out all at once is hardly ever a good approach especially without warning LOL) but ended up...just having a calming and comfortable conversation about what was going on in our lives since we last saw each other. 

n later that day i ended up reaching out to an old friend that i had been meaning to catch up with because we fell out of contact, but had just barely been trying to start talking again in the months before this but had kept missing opportunities to properly converse. but we talked again, and we set up a day to hike and catch up.

and he comes to my house and picks me up. and i get in his car. and its like, holy shit, its been almost a year since ive seen you. and we hugged. and just started to catch each other up on the mess that had been our lives since we’d actively been in contact. we hiked, he told me about the books he wanted to write, we talked about people we knew, we talked about politics, we talked about school, we talked about life, and it was just as comfortable as if not a day had passed...even though it was obvious that he and i were both changed people over the past year. nothing about our friendship was any different though.

we resolved to hanging out with each other every week. decided we both needed the interaction, appreciated having each other around, and had a nice overlap of free time in the week that worked well. friday nights unless otherwise specified.

it was totally unexpected. he’d always been a great friend to me, but i never expected us to get as close as we did. neither did he. he’s probably the first person in my life (or at least in a very long time, and certainly the only person at the time) that i’d been so comfortable with that i practically had no boundaries around. none that needed to be addressed, anyway, because the only possible ones to throw up wouldn’t even come up (but of course, i constantly reassured that as soon as anything came up i would let him know because early on he kept asking sjhdkjfh). 

he became something for me to look forward to in the week. towards the beginning he was a shoulder to lean on when i needed it and was willing to listen to things i hadn’t been able to tell anyone out loud. and he confided in me as well. it was comfortable. it was safe. it was a level of trust with vulnerability that i’d never shown anyone else. 

but it wasnt even just that! it was fun! hes so fun. we could talk about everything and nothing, and hes one of the only people where i feel like i have to keep up with him in conversation instead of the other way around. we’d jump from topic to topic so much faster than either of us could think and it was all always so interesting. littered with humour that was just dumb and simple. i felt comfortable just being an idiot with him. i felt like i had nothing to prove. 

for the past few years ive held to the sentiment that i like to hang around with people that make me a better person. but somehow, with him, its not that i felt like he made me a better person, but that he made me more myself. he saw who i was without any kind of fronts. and i always was afraid to show anyone that me because i always assumed that they would be depressing, loathsome, bitter, angry, and vicious.

but....i’m not. i learned that i’m incredibly loving. that i’d do fuckin anything to for my friends, but always in a way that was healthy and rewarding for both of us. i’m very light-hearted and my sense of humour is so stupid, but also very analytical and thoughtful. just a bit judgmental and pretentious, but always for things that people dont expect. totally open minded in discussions. an avid explorer, and a bit of a thrillseeker. and so, so, so affectionate.

i realized im. not as horrible as ive always made myself out to be. i accepted that i didnt need to punish myself for things beyond my control. i realized that i could believe people when they tell me that they enjoy my company, or appreciate things i do for them, or that they think i’m a worthwhile person to keep around. 

its not that i dont have my flaws, its not that there arent things that i have to work on still. but maybe, at my core, i’m not actually motivated by spite, i’m not actually a hopeless pessimist, and that i’m not...broken. i’m not some secretly irredeemable monster.

and for a period of time i’ve been in a place where i could say i was genuinely...happy! and i don’t think i’ve ever been able to say that. i’ve certainly been made happy by doing things with friends in the past, i’ve been through periods where i’ve been okay with where i am at in life, but ever since i was like 12 (but probably even before that) i’d never been able to say that i was happy. it’s not that i wasn’t stressed, it’s not that things in my life were all going perfectly....but they didn’t define my mood. they didn’t define my view of myself. school, despite being the primary focus of my life, wasn’t dictating how i was feeling. even when things were agonizing and depressing because of school, i was still okay. i was incredibly stable.

and i owe that all to him being there for me. and hardly any of these things were anything that he was really directly responsible for, like its not that he sat there and just constantly showered me in reassurance and praise or anything that changed how i view myself...it was just having his company. it was just being able to sit there and listen to him go on about some totally random thing that he was exceptionally knowledgeable about. it was exploring caves and climbing hills. it was cooking together. it was talking about science. it was talking about love. it was talking about music. it was just having a consistent presence in my life, someone that treated me like a priority but never at the expense of himself, and someone i didn’t have to walk on any kind of eggshells around. it was someone who trusted me and respected me not by anything id done to warrant it, but just because of who i was. 

it was a reminder that i can take care of my own problems, that i just need to be a good presence in someone’s life and for them to be a good presence in mine.

but also that i can accept help from people who genuinely want to offer it! and that that help doesnt always have to be direct. that sometimes helping me means i get to do something nice for someone else LOL

it was everything i ever needed and i wasnt even looking for it. he meant the world to me and i was so, so thankful for the circumstances that led us here because i was so happy to have him in my life again. i was happy that we were able to get closer because we’d only been able to interact in professional environments before.

and then i realized i was in love. and i had a sexuality crisis. but i didn’t recognize it until i fell hard because it was a different kind of love than i’ve felt for anyone before. it was intense but entirely too comfortable. but i knew that i cared about him, and that he cared about me, and that i really didn’t need anything about our friendship to change but that it had potential to be something even greater than it was.

and i resolved to tell him about it...until he told me first. and that moment was, as cheesey as it sounds, nothing less than magical. we were both so happy and giggly and it was so sweet and warm and i dont know if im ever going to be able to recreate that feeling because it was just so particular, so specific to being something between me and him. its not that i cant love anyone else as strongly or be as happy as i was necessarily, but it’ll never be that same kind of feeling.

but things happened. things got complicated. i think he panicked. and then things that happened just felt so dirty and hollow and dark. he hurt me really, really, really badly, and it managed to happen in the span of four days.

and i’ve spent the last <2 weeks dealing with it. i think he’s dealing with it in his own ways, but realistically i don’t know how because i havent seen him since christmas eve, and we were both definitely not being completely genuine that day. was at his house for a small family party and he and i were the only ones who knew what happened. it was too soon to have healed from it any, but we couldnt exactly be honest about it then either.

and im doing better. im genuinely okay now. and, interestingly, i think i owe it to the past few months of hanging out with him and how ive been able to come to terms with a lot of things about myself. ive been able to show myself compassion. its really ironic.

its a situation where i was desperately trying to throw blame onto myself for, because if i could then i could punish myself for it and use it to fuel that deep rooted self hatred and then i could fix it, because i’d be the one responsible for fixing it. but, and i’ve talked to quite a few friends about it trying to figure out who to confide in about it, everyone who knows about it insists that i cant blame myself for it. theres not a thing about the situation that i can blame myself for. and its so fucking weird, because i cant bring myself to fully blame him for it either, just because it was so ABSURDLY out of character that it doesnt feel like it was anything he could have done to me. it was a boundary that i wasnt ever supposed to worry about him crossing, because he’s just not that kind of person.

and it’s the type of situation that you’re supposed to totally be willing to cut someone off for but...i can’t. he’s genuinely remorseful and i think he doesn’t really know how to deal with it either. and despite it being a massive fuck up its still like...the first fuck up in our friendship from either of us. and i’m willing to see this through. i think it’s salvageable, even if it’ll never be the same as it was. i have faith in our friendship. i think we can make it work.

but no matter what happens. i owe him more than i’ll ever be able to repay him for. and i’ll never, ever be able to hate him because of that. i’m in a much, much better place because of him and for that i’ll always be thankful.

#shut up mega #this ended up being longer and more in depth abt the earlier half of the year than i meant it LOL #a summary of my 2020 i spose #also there's some kinda detailed talk of #suicide ment - #self harm ment - #IM CRYING AFTER WRITING THIS OUT LMAOOOO

[justinstolemybike]

sigh. season 3. here we are. 

i watched the first five episodes and... i felt so uncomfortable. it was bad. not all bad but... pretty bad. so bad, that it wasn’t enjoyable for me and i didn’t care to watch it all the way through, so i read other spoilers and i am not sure if i will watch the final season. but with it being said that i did not watch the whole thing, this can’t be a full review. so, here comes my first glance. spoilers obviously. 

instead of weaknesses and highlights, lets just say likes and dislikes. likes first.

LIKES

- tyler’s storyline. last season, i was skeptical of how they would handle his rape and emotions about it, but i am relieved they gave his character proper care and devin druid did a magnificent job. my only gripe is that i wish they had him do something other than boxing to channel his anger. like, i understand why he would be learning self defense but i would like to see him do something less violent?? 

- jessica’s reclaiming of her body. at first the whole intro to the sex toys was weird but it actually was really touching (no pun intended) to see jessica begin to love her body and love sex again after what she’s been through. also, female masturbation is so underrated. nice to see it encouraged. know your bodies, ladies. 

- the classic jensen tour. i’m surprised they still allow him to do the tours. like, none of the exchange students from the last time reported him? oh.

- chloe and the abortion. as a character, i don’t care for chloe, i’m sorry. she’s not a character to me, just a plot device. also, she gets no cookies for lying for bryce in the trials (i know abusers and victims have a twisted dynamic and that’s why that happened but nah chief) but i do like how they showed that some pro-life clinics will mask as abortion clinics and manipulate women into coming and trying to get them to keep their babies. totally real and fucked up.

- bryce was held socially accountable (kind of) and i think that makes an interesting point about rape culture. in the real world, jail doesn’t scare men in power because they can buy their way out. they don’t care about women and what they feel, obviously. what’ll really fuck sexual assaulters up is when they have no friends and no one likes them. that’s what they (kind of) showed with bryce this season. and he died which, yes fucking rad awesome wow.

- i know that justin also had a kind of darker storyline (with seth, i think? you can tell me if i’m wrong but don’t be rude) but he was a lot of the comic relief it appears and brandon flynn was great at it.

- alex and jessica broke up. hallelujah.

- justin is a abuse survivor. makes sense with his background. 

- monty died too AND went to jail. cool amazing beautiful.

- tony is still ferociously loyal and apparently there was a scene where clay and tony said they loved each other. rise clony. rise up from the ashes.

- “i write fanfiction” - clay jensen.

DISLIKES

-ani. ani, ani, ani. i can understand why people find her annoying and she was probably the biggest reason i was uncomfortable watching but i didn’t hate her. she just... didn’t make sense. the things she did,the things she said, how she was involved and everyone just takes to her and loves her immediately, no questions asked, no buildup necessary... none of it felt natural or believable. a new girl comes in and it’s just a coincidence that clay gives her a tour and she decides to go up to jessica and says shes amazing and lives in bryce’s house and connects herself to the house of horrors that is the tape club (which was so dumb on the tape club’s part by the way, as she could have snitched and destroyed them all) instead of just finishing out her high school career in peace considering she moves around a lot and she starts college in a year and half and probably won’t talk to any of them after that. no, she’d rather potentially go to jail for a bunch of fucking strangers and criminals and rapists. sure, okay.

and for someone who just fucking got there to basically insert themselves in the traumas of these kids and make things worse in some respects and do some fucking shitty things (not listening or caring when she heard about bryce being a GODDAMN RAPIST, accusing jessica of SLEEPING WITH HER RAPIST, accusing clay of being the killer, yelling about chloe’s pregnancy in the street, the list probably gets longer) and think they’re allowed to pass judgment when THEY JUST FUCKING GOT THERE. LIKE, WHY IS SHE SO INVESTED? WHAT DOG DOES SHE HAVE IN THIS FIGHT? DOESN’T SHE NEED TO STUDY OR SOMETHING? WHY IS THIS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ANYTHING ELSE SHE HAS GOING ON IN HER LIFE?

now, i get what the show was trying to do here. they wanted another, fresh perspective/narrator and i guess a love interest for clay (a wayyyy too convenient love interest, ‘she loves robots and drawing and not minding her business too! swoon!). but they could’ve had both of those things without adding someone to the payroll. honestly, i don’t think they needed a narrator at all but if they really wanted one, they could’ve added an ACTUAL ADULT detective, with no biases so they can be completely reliable to the audience and their investment would be justified. for love interest, yall already know how much i love and miss sheri. she could check clay without sounding patronizing and had chemistry with him and actual nice, romantic history. she could have been his second cop and they could have reconnected and become a couple and... we could’ve had it all, rolling in the deeeppp. 

it’s like with ani, the show wanted to kill two birds with one stone but they missed them both and i think the backlash on her character says it all. i’d just like to remind everyone to give the actress who plays ani respect and courtesy because it’s not her fault. 

- was it just me, or does it seem like the tape club has learned nothing from what they went through? they’re still keeping secrets and trying to hide shit and keep it all inside and i’m like..... but.... this behavior is what got ya’ll fucked up in the first place? and i totally understand it’s about protection and whatever but.... it also feels like an excuse to not be held accountable for wrong doing. like, alex killed bryce. although he had all the reasons to do it and i’m glad he’s dead, he killed someone fam. that’s not okay. and his dad is wrapped up and it’s just... i just... i dont know. then, there was the whole “let’s not tell on tyler so he doesn’t go to jail” thing and i have mixed feelings about that. i think they should’ve turned him in and got clay’s mom to rep him for rehabilitation and therapy instead of a jail sentence. they’re hiding the guns and trying to trust tyler and luckily that worked, but how long? what if someone fucks with him again and it’s too much for them to help him with? 

- speaking of help, clay needs it. oh my god, does that boy need it. they were so focused on getting tyler professional help but, clay’s out here putting guns to his head and having night terrors. he needs therapy more than anyone. honestly, what i would have liked to see, wayyy back in s2, is as soon as justin saw that, he wouldve went to clay’s parents and got him back on his meds and seeing a counselor. he’s been through so much trauma and guilt and he’s tired of his own fucking hero complex. it’s enough man. 

- they tried to have their cake and eat it too when it came to clay stopping tyler from shooting up the school. they tried to be like, clay shouldn’t have done that but oh, he was so brave and what a great guy he is for doing that. no, that doesn’t work. clay should not have confronted tyler in that situation. period.

- zach was disappointing because i agreed wholeheartedly when he said that they should have called the cops but... he didn’t. he was blaming them for letting tyler go free but he was too. damn, zach.

- it’s like they give clay a new lackey every season and.... ok, i guess.

- i also thought it was kind of weird that after everything they’ve been through, they still walk on eggshells with each other? like i guess because now we’re dealing with murder but... i would think they would trust and care for each other a lot more than to accuse each other and spy and interrogate and not just simply ask... like... this season made me not understand the tape club’s relationship. like are they friends? allies? allies trying to be friends? friends out of necessity? do they know? 

- bryce does not deserve to be humanized. that’s all.

- monty does not deserve to be humanized. that’s all. also, it’s so disappointingly predictable that he’s closeted. 

- the new characters (ani, caleb, chloe, winston, cyrus ) i still don’t care about. plot devices, all.

i may edit and retract some things, should i decide to watch all the way but i’m tired.

#13rw #13 reasons why #clay jensen #ani #bryce walker #alex standall #zach dempsey #jessica davis #justin foley #tony padilla #monty de la cruz #chloe #sheri holland #13rw spoilers #13 reasons spoilers #clay x ani #s3 #13 rw #jessica x alex #jessica x justin #clony #tyler down #ani achola #deputy standall

[winterironspiderling]

Hello, dear! In a first place - how are you these days? Do you mind to write a Bucky whose trying to flirt and constantly trying to ask Peter on a date and completely clueless Peter who thinks Bucky is just nice and friendly to him, because why would so gorgeous and handsome guy want to date him for real?!

Hello, I’m okay! How are you?? 🖤

Sure I don’t mind writing that. I hope you’ll like it. :)

//

“You know,” Bucky said, “If you need help with hand to hand combat...we could train together sometime.”

“Oh,” Peter said. “That’s okay, man. I appreciate it, but I don’t wanna put you out. My webs are enough to keep the bad guys at bay.”

“Sure,” Bucky tried not to act disappointed, but it was like the seventh time Peter had rejected him. “If you change your mind, let me know.”

//

“Hey, be a doll, and pass that would ya?” Bucky smiled at Peter and held out his hand. He could’ve easily walked across the kitchen island and grabbed his abandoned glass of water, but it was a good excuse to chat with Peter.

Peter grabbed the glass and frowned. “Dude, this is warm. You should probably get a new glass.” He dumped it out and placed the cup in the dishwasher, got Bucky a new glass, filled it, and slid it across the counter to him.

“Good call,” Bucky said, taking a sip of the cold water. “So, speaking of drinks...do you ever go out?”

Peter laughed, “Uhh, not really. I’m not 21, sooo...”

“Right, well we could open a bottle sometime. We can drink it here. Play some cards?”

“Wow, that’s nice if you. It’s all right though, I’m sure you have better things to do than sit in the kitchen with me.”

“Not really,” Bucky disagreed. “It would be fun.”

“I’m not very good at cards...you’d get annoyed.”

“No I wouldn’t.”

Peter deliberated like he wanted to say yes, but then he stopped. “That sounds fun, but I dont know... But, hey, I’ll see you later. I gotta go meet Ned.”

“Okay,” Bucky held up his hands. Another strike.

//

“What are you doing this weekend?” Bucky asked.

Peter looked up from his holo-pad and smiled. “Oh hey, man. Nothing really. Just working on some suit mods. Maybe do a little gaming.”

Perfect, Bucky thought. This was his chance. How could Peter say no when he didn’t have any concrete plans?

“How about you?” Peter added.

“I’m not doing anything, either. Wanna see a movie?”

Peter raised his eyebrows. “You want to see a movie? With me?”

“Yeah, pretty sure that’s what I said,” Bucky teased.

Peter scrunched his face. “Wait a minute. Did Tony put you up to this?”

“Tony? No.”

“That’s funny ‘cause I said to him I had nothing to do this weekend...now all of a sudden you’re asking me to go to the movies? I’m good, but thanks for the pity offer.”

“It’s not a pity offer...maybe for me it is since I can’t even get a teenager to hang around with me.”

Peter laughed. “If there’s anything good playing at the theatre, I’ll just pirate it for you. You don’t have to waste your time going with me.”

“Jesus Christ,” Bucky shook his head. “You’re a tough cookie to crack.”

“It’s cool of you to ask me to hang out since you know I don’t really have anyone my age around, and Tony must’ve told you, but it’s really okay. You don’t have to feel sorry for me.”

Bucky sighed. He wanted to argue and explain that Peter was being ridiculous, and oblivious, and completely impossible, but he wasn’t going to beg. If Peter wanted to say yes, he would’ve already.

//

“Cute shirt,” Bucky complimented.

Peter looked around as if he assumed Bucky was talking to someone else.

“Me?” Peter asked. “Thanks. It’s just something I picked up at the thrift store.”

“The thrift store?” Bucky frowned. “Stark lets you shop at the thrift store?”

Peter shrugged. “He teases me, but I told him I’m not spending a thousand dollars on a shirt no matter what my allowance is.”

Bucky nodded. “Is there a thrift store around here?”

“Oh yeah. Just a few minutes drive. I usually just swing.”

“Cool. Wanna go?”

Peter frowned. “You wanna go to a thrift store?”

“Why not?”

“Well Steve said you used to be rich when you were kids...I wouldn’t think thrift stores were your scene.”

“That was a long time ago...let’s go. You can help me pick something out.”

“Seriously?”

Bucky sighed. “Forget it.”

“No, no... I do wanna go,” Peter admitted. “I just...I don’t understand why you’d wanna go with me. It doesn’t make any sense.”

“Doesn’t make any sense? Are you kidding?”

“What? Am I missing something?”

“Peter, I’ve been trying to ask you out for months, and you reject me every time. I was this close to giving up.”

“Ask me out? Like dates? Like you want to date me?

“That was the idea...”

“But why? That’s ridiculous.”

Bucky didn’t know what to say. “You’re adorable. Smart. Funny. Stubborn. Generous...you’re an absolute sweetheart. I’d be crazy not to try my hand at bagging a doll like you.”

“Bucky... I don’t know what to say,” Peter blushed. “You’re like...super hot, gorgeous, and wayyy out of my league. I thought you were just trying to be nice to me because you’re a friendly guy—which made it even worse because that means you’re the whole package. I’m so embarrassed.”

“The last thing you should be is embarrassed.”

Peter ducked his head. “I had no idea you liked me. That makes me oblivious.”

“Well I do,” Bucky replied.

Peter shifted his weight while he considered the situation.

“So how about that date? I’ve been waiting a while to get a yes from you.”

“Are you sure? Like this isn’t some trick?”

“Trick? Of course not. How could you think that?”

“It’s like I said...you’re way out of my league. I can’t understand how someone like you would even bother—“

“Stop that,” Bucky said. “If you don’t think you’re good enough for me, I don’t know what to tell you. You’re a thousand times better than me. Your heart is so pure, Peter. You’re kind. One of the most worthy people I’ve ever met, and you better believe I want you because I do. Ask anyone around. They’ve all been teasing me about it.”

Peter ran a hand through his hair. “Geez...that’s. That’s a lot to process, but I mean...I trust your judgment since you’re the best strategist on the team.”

“Let’s start with that then,” Bucky smiled.

“Okay,” Peter agreed.

“Okay,” Bucky echoed. “Let’s go to that store then. We’ll drive instead of swing—if that’s okay with you.”

“Sure. That sounds amazing.” Peter hesitated for a moment before going on his tippy toes and kissing Bucky on the cheek.

Bucky blushed and touched his cheek. “Thank you.”

#winterspider

[marshmallowprotection]

Well, hey, if youre willing to write for it im delighted to request it! If you dont already have an idea in mind, how about snapshots of each rfa member with the rfas unofficially/officially adopted child? Or what each would do if they needed to pick them up from school cause they got sick? I kind of love this whole idea so ive already thought up way too many ways to use it haha, but id be happy with literally anything related to the rfa communally raising a kid

I've written some little blurbs for you, nothing long but something just enough to get a taste of what it might be like. I couldn't decide on a specific kid to use so I'm just going to swap between a boy and a girl for whichever it feels right for. 

Yoosung 

"Sungie, do you always get to see so many animals?" 

"Mmm. Yeah, it's part of my studies. If I wanna be a great Vet someday, I have to learn about all kinds of animals and meet them." 

"Really cool! I wouldn't mind if I got to hang out with puppies all day." 

"Well… It's not always like that." 

"Oh, right, there must be kitties and bunnies too!" 

They always chatted like this. 

Yoosung spent the time that he did have free with everybody's favorite son. He was often one of the least busy members of the group but only during the afternoons while the others were working. They would waste a lot of time playing games that he enjoyed or LOLOL, which Yoosung liked. 

They got along really well. Yoosung had taken to him like a big brother, and while he wasn't entirely sure if he was doing it right, he enjoyed the time they spent together. 

He wasn't ever really that close with his big sister, so to have a little buddy to hang out with like this was so different!  

He wasn't the youngest person now, so a lot of the words directed towards him were now thrown to the wayside. It made him feel like he was pretty mature! 

That wasn't always the case, though. 

Video games were an easy way for them to interact and because of that he got a little too invested in them. Of course, just because he was older didn't mean that he always won those games. 

The kid took it ten times more seriously than he ever did and he had to actually try to win what they were on. He never really had that issue before without having many people to play against. But, it was like Seven had been tutoring him on how to destroy others. 

Today was no different. 

"I WIN!" he shrieked as he jumped off of the couch and thrust his hands in the air as Yoosung hung his head in defeat. 

"Looks like you win again," he laughed, though still a little embarrassed. 

Zen

She was a star, a bright shining star. 

All she wanted to do was be the one who made all the sad stuff go away, far, far away from here! It was a dream of hers to be as cool as her family was, and she thought the best way to do that would be to practice for the next party! 

She got the idea from Jaehee, cause she always said that Zen could shine so brightly that it made her feel better. 

So, who else to ask for tips then Zen? 

So, she put on her little show as best as she could for him. 

"You're doing great, keep it up out there, princess!" Zen cheered her on as she spun around in circles and circles on end, pretending to perform for the little crowd of plush toys and Zen.

He clapped as she finished up her little routine a few minutes later, with her arms stretched out wide and little chest heaving from all the little motions. 

Her eyes twinkle with such joy. It was a blessing to see her look so happy and all she ever wanted to hear was that she was getting better at this. 

She puffs out her cheeks when he doesn't say much more, "D'ya like it, Zenny? I can't show everybody else less you think s'good!" 

This little girl was an absolute darling to everybody that she came into contact with and it was no surprise given her parent, who had been the kindest soul ever to walk the face of the planet. She never caused any trouble and all she wanted to do was have a little fun every now and again. 

Zen wasn't all that great with kids, at least, he never felt like he was. He didn't exactly do a perfect job all the time, but he did try his best when he could. 

She had insisted that he sit down and watch her perform this time around. She wanted to show that she could be as dazzling as Zen was, and he would stand to agree that this little girl had a future in talent if she wanted to pursue it. 

Even if she was a little bit pitchy with her own rendition of Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star. 

Zen let out a little laugh. He pressed his hand against the top of her head and ruffled her hair. "It was very good. You'll blow everybody away at the next party for sure, okay? I need to watch out. You're going to give me a run for my money." 

Jaehee

The little boy clutched at his locks, clearly frustrated with the paper of homework in front of himself. It just wasn't making any sense to him and he really wanted to just give up and quit it. 

He had been trying so hard to do it all on his own so nobody would get worried.  

That hadn't worked because Jaehee caught him looking so dejected in the corner of the café. 

There was no hiding anything from that woman. She just knew when something was wrong and wouldn't let the subject go when she started talking. 

She always got onto him. It wasn't rude or mean though! 

She was just looking out for him, he knew. It didn't change the fact it was a little embarrassing. 

Jaehee looked over his notes and instead of scolding him for the bad marks, she merely hummed and nodded her head. She pointed out some of the troubling areas for him and tapped the spots. 

"So you see, you'll need to do this first before you start doing this part of the question. You're getting ahead of yourself when you're working on these types of problems." 

He stared at the paper for a moment with pursed lips, "...Oh. I guess I didn't think about that." 

"Why don't we try some together and see where it's confusing, okay?" Jaehee smiled. 

He may have felt unsure of himself but he knew that he could trust her judgment at times like this. 

Jumin 

"You look lovely today… I see you and Elizabeth the 3rd are wearing matching bows." 

"Oh, you noticed? I tied them all by myself too!" 

"Did you? That's very crafty of you to do so, princess. Elizabeth seems positively pleasant about it. Why, may I ask, did you do it?" 

"Oh! Elizabeth and I are having a tea party today. We can't have one without looking cute n' stuff. You think my Mommy would like these?" 

"She would. That's her favorite color."

Jumin had never been sure how to act around children. He had never really been a normal child himself, and by the time he figured it out, he was already well grown into an adult. Now, he was really learning how to interact with children. 

This little girl had stolen not only his heart but the hearts of everybody she came into contact with over the past few months.

She was bubbly and sweet, never out of line, she had a penchant for cute toys and little accessories, and she liked to make her own things and play pretend. 

Most importantly, she was the only person in this world who could get CEO Jumin Han to sit in a small chair and pretend to drink tea. 

That's what he was doing right now. 

Elizabeth the 3rd was sitting on her own chair as the girl pretended to pour out some tea into her cup with a smile, "You want some more, Elizabeth? Really? Okay, more tea for the lady!"

Once she set it down she glanced over at Jumin with a big grin, "I'm glad you like it too, I tried really hard. I made some for everybody to wear! I made you a purple one!"

And if anybody thought he wouldn't wear a bow in his hair for this kid, they were wrong. 

Seven

“I did it! I think I put it together, it works, it really works!“

She always looked at the world with stars in her eyes. 

Every new experience was something great to watch happen and it didn’t matter what it was that she was doing or trying out. She always smiled and laughed. It was a great sound, and it had been such a long time since Seven had even heard anything like that. 

This little girl was equal parts smart and sweet. 

If Seven handed her something to work on, she would devour it and figure out what was wrong or what needed to be fixed within a couple of minutes. Seven let her tinker with some of his old robots. Granted, he didn’t give her anything really complex, but still, she learned fast. 

It didn’t always work out, but she never lost her big grin. 

He beamed. “Oh? So you did!  That’s impressive. Good job! Meowy 2.0 here is looking much more lively, huh?” 

She gripped onto the little bot and nodded her head. “Mhm! I wasn’t sure if I was gonna be able to figure it out, but thanks to your help, I got it.”

He couldn’t have been more proud. 

Seven didn’t know what it was like to have many older people in your life care for you like this in a way that was more domestic and typical. He never thought that he would ever have to chance to be around kids like this, but it was something that he always wanted to do. 

She had stolen his heart, though. He would do anything for the kid. 

“That’s right,” Seven nodded. ”You don’t have to do everything alone to figure stuff out. It’s actually better to ask for help when you don’t know what to do next time.” 

She was quiet for a moment and grinned. “...Yeah, about that. I was wondering, how hard would it be to add a flamethrower?” 

Nobody tell the others about that though. 

V

"Does it matter if I make my sky a different color then blue? Why does it always have to be blue? Is it wrong to do something like that? Can it only be blue…? I don't understand." 

"Well, the sky isn't just blue, you know. It can be almost any color you want it to be, it's your drawing to paint so it's your choice what it looks like. Why do you ask?" 

He hung his head, not wanting to look V in the eyes. "... Some kids told me I was stupid and wrong. I guess... I’m just not as good as you thought I was."

V frowned. He got to the boy’s level and pressed his hands against his shoulders, "Hey… that's not true at all. I love your sky, that's why we put it up on the fridge." 

He had really low self-esteem. It wasn’t something that was always remedied by the fact that he had a support system behind him. For some children, it was hard to connect with others in some capacity. 

This boy was always radiant and smiling when he was with the RFA. But, when he was alone or by himself, there were those times when the unease shined through. It wasn’t for a lack of love. Those feelings could affect anyone no matter their life or background. 

V hated to see that. 

“Are you sure?” he asked, quietly. “I would understand if you didn’t.” 

Because he was special, not only to him and the rest of the RFA but to himself as well.

“I’m sure. I would never lie to you. Now, let’s see what we can do about this problem of yours at school, okay?” 

Saeran 

Saeran was always wary of children. 

He always thought of his parents and how badly they had screwed him over as a kid, and his first fear was that he was going to do something as bad as what they did to him to somebody else. That was the last thing that he wanted to do to anyone. 

It wasn’t easy for him to build a bond with MC’s little girl, but he did try every now and again. For some reason, the girl really liked him and stuck to him like glue at every chance that she got. It was kind of hilarious to see somebody so bright and cheery reaching out for somebody as dark looking like him. 

There were times when she would talk somebody’s ear off, but she would never do that to anyone apart from the people in the RFA. She was often quite shy and anxious. With Saeran, though... she was quiet and didn’t often press him for talk and chats. 

She seemed to understand that he really wasn’t much of a guy for chatting, and they both could just hang out without worrying about anything. Today was a little different though. 

He had walked in the room that she was sitting in, and noticed that she was crying. His body stiffened, and he felt rather uncomfortable. He knew that he could have directed somebody else to the situation but at the same time, he didn’t think he could make himself do that. 

He had been in that position too many times as a kid and nobody was there for him. Against the dread in his gut, he sat down next to her and didn’t say anything at first. She was clearly looking over at him. 

“S-Saeran?” 

“...Mmm.” 

“I wasn’t... cryin’... just got dust in my eyes.” 

“You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want too,” he said, quietly. “I just figured you would feel better if you had some company.“

“...Thank you.” 

#anon #ask #mod kait #prompt #mystic messenger #mysme #saeran choi #saeyoung choi #jumin han #hyun ryu #jaehee kang #yoosung kim #jihyun kim