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xxnghtclls · 4 months

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A little spontaneous analysis on Sukuna and his view on love and rejection that I blurted out while reading about Heian Era marriage this morning 🤓

That Sukuna panel came to mind with him saying, he’s “a cursed, unwanted little wretch”. (I was told “hated” was another way to translate it, but it’s the same in the end).

Disclaimer: These are just my thoughts using this specific translation. However Sukuna is a complex character and nothing is black and white and I’m probably heavily cherry picking here or reading way too much into this more than I should or would be necessary. 😆 WELL

Somehow it struck to me that one of the FEW things we know about Sukuna, is that he never married or bore any children. This is even more interesting, considering the fact that in the JJK verse, we do have a few absent wifes/lovers to name, that we know little to nothing about. Be it Megumi‘s mother, Kaori or a nonexistent wife of Sukuna. People often claim that Sukuna is a virgin, cause he didn’t marry or had kids. This is a whole other discussion, but this claim kept lingering in my head and made me think about marriage in the first place. Marriage and children often being a wholesome concept of love in our modern understanding, I first thought the marriage thing to be in connection to his claim to love being useless, that he not even once had interest in love. I think there‘s more to that.

(although I do think that someone who claims that love is worthless kinda sounds heartbroken, but yeah anyway)

But then I thought „wait we’re speaking ancient times, did love play any role in marriage anyway?“

We still don‘t know the social status in which Sukuna was born in, but in regards to heian era, marriage was first and foremost a thing to secure and show social status. Marriages out of love weren‘t common, even seen as unrealistic.

Marriages were mostly arranged, often when they were still teenagers even. And this is what caught my attention. Sukuna says he was born a cursed unwanted little wretch and I first assumed this claim purely focuses on his parents and his early childhood.

But given the social norms in heian era, what if it also meant that he was literally unable to marry later on, that he wasn’t just unwanted by his by his parents, but by a possible spouse as well? Him saying he was “cursed and unwanted” indicates that it was a state he was put in, not a state he sought out to be. You could even argue, that him saying he was “unwanted” or “hated” even required him not wanting to be treated that way. Which child would want that? Which makes it even more interesting that he says, that he never thought about needing someone else to fulfill him. In connection to what I said before, it could almost sound hateful. As well as this moment here, which always occurred to me as if he said it from own experience.

Because when you grow up in a surrounding that hates & repels you, it makes sense that you grow indifferent to society, but it doesn’t necessarily mean it was always that way. Him being unwanted makes so much sense in connection with him saying, that he focuses solely on himself and that he has complete disregard to others. Which makes sense, when it’s a result of not having anybody who wants or loves you. It leaves you with yourself and yourself only.

I know a lot of you really wanna fight the thought of Sukuna having a hard childhood but who cares honestly? I don‘t think it would make him less of a strong character. Every human is the result of their surroundings and as stated, Sukuna is human too. Based on that, you could even argue that the only kind of love he knows and sees as the real love, was an aggressive one. This would explain why he sees the slaughter of those who fought Kashimo as love.

Ok back to marriage! When I read about marriage, there was another thing that caught my attention and that was poetry! We know Sukuna is a little nerd, who is eager to learn and it’s indicated that he even enjoyed poetry. (His immediate reaction to Yorozu‘s Haiku being that it lacks the seasonal word.) Back then, when someone was about to apply for marriage, what did they do? Yeah right, they wrote letters to someone.

As I stated above, you could assume that there was a time, where Sukuna was not utterly hateful and indifferent to social contacts (I know that’s a reach, but that’s up for interpretation as long as we don’t know his backstory.)

If we assume, that Sukuna was born looking the way he looks, then it wouldn’t surprise me if there was a lot of rejection involved in the way the proposal was practised as described above. I don‘t wanna paint Sukuna as the poor rejected here, but idk maybe he was.

We all eagerly await Sukuna‘s backstory and I‘m so excited to learn about him. This suddenly turned into an analysis of Sukuna and his view on love and whatnot, but please remember, I’m not saying that any of this might have actually happened.

It’s just some connections my brain made while reading about marriage and thinking about some of the stuff that Sukuna said. I just had to write it down.

Here‘s the source: click

#nighty talks #theory #sukuna #true form sukuna #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #jjk 237 #jjk238

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kamariya · 3 months

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i know the fandom loves to pretend that xie lian doesn't take care of himself but let's really think about it for a second. he doesn't have a penny to his name, he has no luck, no spiritual powers and no friends and family left in the mortal realm. how exactly should he take care of himself?

he eats food off the floor because it's better than going hungry. that's how many people in poverty live. he doesn't think twice before touching something that might poison him because when you don't receive medical attention for centuries, you're naturally going to adopt an "it is what it is" mentality about your health. he probably didn't get treated by a healer the first few times he got corpse poisoning because he didn't have enough (or any) money to pay them with. he's humble and ignores however which way he's slandered because what can he do? he's heard things like that and worse before.

800 years of poverty will teach anyone humility as well as strip them of it. 800 years of poverty and solitude can make anyone into a complete cynic, an abuser and/or worse.

but xie lian didnt break, not permanently. what jun wu put him through is nothing compared to what the world put him through. tell me this: is jun wu truly the real villain of the story? or is he a micro manifestation of all the other systematic issues in the TGCF universe, wrapped up into a shiny, evil package that's easier to hate, easier to digest and easier to fall for?

know that even though jun wu "set up" the fall of xianle, it was corruption and imperialism that truly brought the kingdom to its knees. know that teen xie lian truly fought for his people, be they patriots or rebels, and that the reason his efforts could never come to fruition was the corruption of the royals and the nobles.

in a world as systematically corrupt as that (much like our own), how easy do you think it would have been for a poor, homeless and friendless man to live a happy, fulfilling life (which he never lived)? and how much easier would it have been for him to gradually give away his morals and principles in favour of a better meal for once, for a better bed for the night? considering his martial skills and vast knowledge of cultivation, would it not have been easy for him to take a path like jun wu himself? like xue yang, even?

and do you think that xie lian did *not* do all these things just because he had "self-sacrificial" tendencies? after centuries of being only a little better than a beggar, do you think the reason he wants to help the common people is because he feels Rich Prince Guilt?

don't you think that the act of preserving oneself here, the act of not sacrificing onself for a cause, is actually whenever xie lian decides to keep following the path of justice, his Third Path? does self preservation only count when it's your body you're preserving, or your material wealth, or your name? surely your own principles matter more. surely you mean more than a fancy title on a tyrant's mouth.

place yourself in xie lian's shoes, and answer this: if you were to go through all that, even if you were to not become a horrible person, would have found and maintained the courage, time and time again, to keep being kind, to keep taking care of yourself, to not become heedlessly reckless, to not become a walking corpse with a noose (ruoye) wrapped around your neck?

in my opinion, xie lian is a hell of a lot positive for a man who's been through so much and never heard a "it's okay, you can rest now" once (until hua cheng came along, at least).

do you think xie lian doesn't feel bitterness towards lang qianqiu, who buried him with a stake through his heart for gods know how many years, because he just... hates himself? or do you think it's because he helped raise lang qianqiu since childhood and earned real respect and admiration from him, after so many years of being spat on, cursed and ultimately turned invisible? do you think he begged to be banished once again only because he felt guilty (although yes, he did feel very guilty) for the terrible fate that befell lqq's family, or because he also genuinely cares about what happens to his people --- he protected the xianle remnants by setting himself up as a cold-hearted murderer, and he protected lqq by refusing to fight him.

do you think that being so old and having seen so much, xie Lian can't tell danger when it's looking him in the eye? he's not stupid. he doesn't neglect his safety until and unless it's to protect someone he cares about. e.g., when he tried his level best to protect shi qingxuan during the Blackwater arc, knowing that he's fighting things and people beyond his control. my point: it didn't matter if he failed. he had to try, just like he tried with his kingdom, and the kingdom that came next. sqx was the first person after hua cheng to befriend and defend him in a long time, and he wanted to show him the same courtesy. can this be reduced to "self-sacrificing" tendencies or "playing the hero", too?

when xie lian stepped out of that bridal sedan, he knew he was playing with fire, but he's not stupid. if he hadn't stepped out, who is to say that crimson rain sought flower wouldn't have entered on his own, or dragged him out forcefully? xie lian isn't a "you only live once, let's make bad decisions" person. xie lian is a "no matter how many lives i live, i will not change" person.

#why do so many people think that xie lian is stupid or just trying to die when he does Literally Anything?#like i promise you people like him have existed and do exist IRL #real people do fight for humanity real people do fight for their loved ones #real people do fight for their fellow citizens ... people are capable of doing Good Things #without just being “people pleasers”#xie lian couldn't be further from a people pleaser ... that guy practises radical love and acceptance #that's the point !! that he cares for humanity in all its forms !!#and no I'm not saying that he doesn't struggle with guilt and self-acceptance at all #he def does!! we see him do that !!#but i dont think it's fair to reduce every good thing he does to him “compensating” for when he couldn't save his falling kingdom #tgcf #mxtx meta #tgcf meta #heaven official's blessing #天官赐福 #swan stuff #tian guan ci fu #xie lian #long post

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nburkhardt · 1 year

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Maybe he’ll blame it on his wording or maybe blame it on the lack of romantic setting. Maybe he could blame it on the crowd around them.

Because he didn’t want to think of the answer being no. If that were the case, he might just die of a broken heart.

Steve’s first ‘girlfriend’ was this adorable little red head girl when he was five. Actually, when he thinks about it she wasn’t his ‘girlfriend’ but actually his little ‘boyfriend’ because she thought it was funny to call him ‘girlfriend’ instead and she wanted to be called ‘boyfriend’ which he gladly did. He remembers her pretty clearly because she was also his best friend at the time, her name is Delilah. He hasn’t seen her in years, hopes she’s okay and happy. The way she called him ‘girlfriend’ is probably what started his secret love of feminine names for himself.

He thinks that was probably his easiest “relationship” mostly because well, he was five. He remembers asking her to play and that was it. They were attached at the hip, Delilah’s mom would pick him up from his house when demanded and then he’d spend the rest of his day with Delilah and her family. Some of his best childhood memories are with them.

It’s probably the blueprint for his relationship to Eddie.

Expect, Eddie asked him to smoke one random day and then suddenly he’s being called ‘baby girl’ and ‘darling’. It made his heart beat so much faster and his cheeks run hot. Eddie wouldn’t demand him to come over, just wouldn’t let him leave most nights. They’d have late dinners with Wayne and enjoy quiet nights together and lazy mornings. He’s truly his happiest with the Munson family.

So, despite the fact that legally they can’t get married, he decided to get a ring and ask Eddie anyway.

Finding the perfect ring wasn’t as hard as he’s heard. Maybe it’s because he knows Eddie, knows what he hates and loves. Or maybe it’s just that the first ring he saw was perfect for Eddie. As soon as he saw it, his brain immediately came up with images of Eddie wearing it. When the sells person asked about his own ring, he declined and said he’ll pick something out later.

Eddie’s the one that’s good with creating a story, especially off the top of his head. So instead of coming up with anything like that, he’s planning on just laying it all out and hoping for the best. He swears to mention how much he loves Eddie, talk about their future and so much more.

He doesn’t bother hiding that he’s with Eddie when they get into the restaurant, it’s pretty common now for the two of them to be seen together. Most people don’t even look twice at them anymore, there’s of course still one or two. But it doesn’t bother them much.

It’s not the most romantic restaurant, just the little diner in town. Because Enzo’s was already busy plus the owner shoots glares at them even though Robin ripped a new one into him for being homophobic. So instead of the romantic scene, they’re in the little diner with checkered floors and terrible teal blue walls with pink accents. There’s sad looking daisies on the tables with old worn broken menus, and music neither of them actually like. Some old country song that Steve can’t even remember the name.

Their waiter is some senior from high school that looks bored. Repeating their orders back to them before walking off and Steve finally takes a chance to reach over at Eddie’s hands, “Eds, I got something for you”

Eddie brightens up at that, his smile is addicting and Steve smiles just to match him even if his nerves are making him squirm. Letting go of one of Eddie’s hands, he goes to pull out the tiny little black box that’s been making his pockets burn all day.

“What is it, Stevie?” Eddie’s voice goes up a notch and before he knows it, starts to ramble. “Is today a special day? I know it’s not my birthday and it’s not yours either, there’s no anniversary that I can think of. You also don’t celebrate many holidays lately, so it can’t be that. Or am I forgetting something? Is it an anniversary? Should I be getting you something-“

Usually he loves hearing Eddie ramble but his voice is getting higher and it’s starting to crack, so he shoves the box back into his pocket and grabs Eddie’s hands again in a tight grip. “Eds, baby, calm down! It’s okay”

Before either of them can say anything more their food is there and they let go of each other to eat. In between bites, he tries again, “I was thinking, maybe in the future, if we uh- we could go and get my last name to be…”

He gets cut off by waiters loudly and annoyingly singing ‘happy birthday’ to the table next to them and he wants to kick himself for his wording already. It’s turning out to be a disaster, and he doesn’t exactly know how to come back from it. So, they continue to eat their food quietly with some small talk instead. Once the badly singing waiters leave and their food is mostly gone, he tries again.

“Eddie, I have something to ask you” his nerves are showing in his voice, even to his own ears. Hopefully he looks aren’t reflecting how nervous he is, but he can’t see himself anywhere and he knows looking away would not be good. Without messing with the box in his pocket, “Would you want to share a last name?”

Internally cringing at his words, he hopes that Eddie understands. Looking at him, with the silence going that feels like the world has stopped, it seems like maybe that it…doesn’t. He knows it comes out wrong and that Eddie doesn’t get it. Because his face is full of confusion, normally he loves it. Normally Eddie being confused is always cute and Steve loves it, especially when he gets to explain something to Eddie.

But right now? He hates it.

“Like, you uhh” Eddie speechless is a wonder usually. Steve hates it right now, much like how much he hates his own wording. “Wouldn’t it be weird if Wayne adopted you? Since we’re dating?”

He’s speechless himself, of all the options Eddie picks that one? He shakes his head and his hand goes for the box in his pocket, “no, no. That’s- just, no. Eddie, I’d like to-“

“Stevie, are you okay?” The question comes out of left field and it makes him wonder why, until he feels a wetness to his cheeks and, damnit. He’s tearing up from all his nerves. He didn’t even notice, sighing he just nods. “Are- are you sure?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m okay. Let’s just go home, yeah?”

Eddie doesn’t quite agree but also doesn’t say anything else. Just moves next to him and loops his arm with Steve’s. Then they’re off to the car and all Steve needs now is a moment alone to figure out how he went so wrong when he had a plan.

Part 2

This was originally suppose to be the full fic but uhh tumblr kept deleting my last thing i'd type up. So now I'm splitting it into two parts. Anyway, I completely blame @i-less-than-three-you and this post for this. So thanks @undreaming-fanfiction for this idea bug I seriously couldn’t stop thinking about it, when I should be writing more of part 6 for my angst fic.

#steddie #steddie fic #steve harrington x eddie munson #stranger things fic #steddie au #steve harrington #eddie munson #stranger things #nburkhardt writes #i spent way too much time googling things for this #it was suppose to be short idk what happened #the proposal fic

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earthlightwitch · 2 years

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30 days of shadow work challenge

hey everyone! i’ve found myself in a bit of a journalling/shadow work rut and thought i would give myself a little challenge to do for the next 30 days. i know that this is pretty common for a lot of people, so i thought i would share my challenge with you so we can keep each other accountable and do some reflective work 🤍 obviously you don’t have to do all 30 days, and this can purely be a prompt list if you need it! you can join in whenever you like 🤍

what is something you wish you could be doing right now? what’s stopping you?

if you could receive the truthful answer any question of your choice, what would you ask? why? what response would you hope for?

if you could change anything about your childhood, what would it be?

name 3 of your least favourite things about yourself. then challenge them - why do you think that way? what could you do to change?

what relationships in your life bring you joy and which ones don’t?

how could you show yourself love in your love language?

when was the last time you felt at peace?

write a letter to someone who hurt you - no matter how long ago. write everything you wish you could say to them, every emotion that comes up. burn, tear apart or flush away the letter

how would you treat yourself if you were a young child? how could you make them feel loved? see where you could incorporate that into your life

what triggers your temper most? why does it make you angry/frustrated/sad?

if you had everything you ever wanted, what would your life look like?

what emotions or feelings do you avoid? why?

what are your core values? do they align with the life you’re living right now?

what do you hate about yourself and why do you hate it? did someone tell you you should?

what negative patterns keep repeating in your life?

when you lash out, what part of you wants to be protected?

what is something you fear others knowing about you? why do you fear it?

in what ways do you consciously or unconsciously punish myself?

what is a grudge/instance that you are holding onto that no longer serves you? why are you holding on to it? how can you let it go?

what are your pet peeves? where do you think they come from?

when was the last time you felt wronged by someone?

when are you the hardest on yourself? why? can you find a way to be kinder to yourself?

how do you respond to situations that make you angry?

what are you the most proud of in your life?

in what ways are you hypocritical?

when am i my truest, most authentic self?

what advice would you give to yourself 5 years ago?

what boundaries do i need to set and reinforce in my life?

what things make you feel the most alive and present?

list 10 things you like about yourself. get specific! list more if you can 🤍

#witch #shadow work #witches of the world #magick #witchcraft #shadow work prompts #journaling #journal #journal prompts #taurus witch #ideas #writing

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joys-of-everyday · 1 year

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On the fifty shades of morally grey

So quick thoughts on how MXTX writes morally grey.

Sorry, I mean, excessively long meta post on how MXTX writes morally grey. Light spoilers for all three books.

A gazillion caveats to begin with. Firstly, I don’t want to argue about whether character x is morally good, bad, grey, pink or whatever. In my books, arguing about whether someone is or is not morally grey is like arguing whether a colour is green, blue, teal, or turquoise – we’re arguing definitions. To add to that, I’m not saying that concepts like ‘this person is overall good’ doesn’t exist, but I would posit that a morally unquestionable person does not exist. Secondly, I also don’t want to pass moral judgements on any of the characters. That’s for a different post. I strictly want to focus on the storytelling techniques that make the reader think ‘hang on a second, are they good or bad?’. Thirdly, this whole post is mainly based on How Arcane Writes MORAL AMBIGUITY (9 Methods, 4 Rules) - YouTube. Great video, great channel (no knowledge of Arcane required). Would recommend if you are interested in story writing techniques!

1) The information gap and the poor narrator

Best example is Shen Jiu from SVSSS. We barely know anything about Shen Jiu. Almost everything we know is from SQQ’s notoriously unreliable perspective, so we’re left to fill in the gaps ourselves. Depending on exactly how those gaps are filled, you can get two completely different people. E.g. Did he have designs of NYY, or was he just ridiculously misunderstood? Who knows! We’re never told. Even if we were told, we should doubt it because it’s SQQ telling us.

2) 4D characterisation

Schnee’s video goes into this in more details, but this is where you build two narratives on top of one another. Best example is Jin Guangyao from MDZS. Is he an underdog who did what he could out of his situation and tried his best to be a better person working for the good of the common people? Or is he a selfish, manipulative, ambitious snake who at every stage pretends to be good in order to win the favour of those around him? The point is that both narratives make sense in the story. There are moments that lean more one way or another, but you can never quite pin him down completely.

3) Moments of weakness

Best example is Xie Lian from TGCF. On the whole, XL is a wonderful human being who you 100% want to root for. Except… there was that one time he made a mistake. He let his hurt and pain overcome him; he became hurtful himself. The point here is to add in just a few ‘moments’ which fundamentally impacts how the rest of the world perceives them from that point forwards. They are forever trying to redeem themselves, forever weighed down by what is a tiny proportion of their life. The underlying question is ‘is a moment of weakness a moral failure?’

Another good example is Qi Rong from TGCF. On the whole, he’s a piece of s***. But then there are moments when he’s a genuinely good father to Guzi, and that’s confusing.

4) Well-intentioned idiot

Trying to do the right thing and absolutely failing. Best example is Wei Wuxian from MDZS. His intentions are always good. There are extremely few moments where he is selfish or overly cruel. He is always fighting for justice, always self-sacrificing, always kind. And yet the outcome of his actions is pretty bad. The underlying question is ‘should you judge a person based on their intent, or on the consequences of their actions?’

(btw the name of the method is from schnee’s video. No shade on WWX. He is very smart… well, unless it comes to LWJ’s feelings.)

5) Excuses

Yes, they’re bad. But we feel sorry for them! Almost everyone fits into this boat, because doesn’t MXTX love trauma dumping? As one example, let’s look at Jiang Cheng from MDZS. JC’s behaviour towards WWX is pretty bad on its own. But given the context of his childhood being compared to him, of having his self-esteem brutally crushed by both parents? Knowing how much he’s done and sacrificed for him, how much he truly cared for him as family? It hits different.

A small point: ‘excuses aren’t enough’ we say a lot (and I agree, to an extent). But compare, for example, Jin Guangshan vs Xue Yang. JGS seems to be a power-hungry asshole for absolutely no reason. On the other hand, put XY in different circumstances and we feel like he might have been a better person. Just as food for thought, there was a Japanese monk Honen (1133-1212) who said: ‘The good person can reach the Pure Land, so of course the evil person can as well’. The point being that the people who struggle with anger and hate because of their circumstances are most in need of salvation.

6) World building and presenting hard questions

What is acceptable sacrifice in war?

Is it okay to make a super dangerous weapon for the sake of deterrence?

How much personal responsibility does someone hold for a lifetime of circumstances pushing them towards a morally questionable path?

What are the responsibilities of a leader – to do what is right, or to do what is best for their people?

The world of MDZS is imperfect. It’s full of horrors and disasters, as well as a mob of outsiders all trying to impart their opinions despite knowing little about the situation. An imperfect world presents unanswerable questions. We see the characters struggle with these questions, come to decisions, and make mistakes, all naturally arising within the complex world that’s been presented.

TGCF does this most explicitly. We literally have Kemo and Pei Xiu arguing about the ethics of war and XL concluding that it’s a Hard Question. In fact, every backstory of every Heavenly Official presents a new Hard Question. I don’t know if I like this method over the more subtle style of MDZS, but I have Thoughts about the storytelling styles of both (long story short, I love them both for different reasons).

7) Worlds are colliding

A slightly complicated method that takes a huge amount of set up. To summarise, set up two arcs that we the reader both feel invested in. Then set up a point where the ‘good’ outcome of one is the ‘bad’ outcome of another. For MDZS, we have 1) JC and WWX’s brotherhood arc. 2) WWX standing up for justice arc. They’re both merrily developing all the way through the conflict with the Wens… right until the moment WWX has to make a choice: stand up for justice and leave JC behind, or to fulfil his promises to JC and turn a blind eye to the injustices against the Wens. The decision is a lose-lose scenario because of the way these arcs have been set up.

8) Spectrums, Spectrums, we love Spectrums

Gongyi Xiao is a cinnamon roll. As is Wen Ning and Quan Yizhen. Meanwhile, the Old Palace Master? Literally no redeeming qualities. Wen Chao? Absolute scum. Then there’s everyone lying somewhere in between. We like Lan Wangji more than JC (I think that seems to be the case for most people?) but we certainly like JC more than JGS. Having a spectrum of morality is important because it gives us reference points to contrast and compare. It also emphasises the moral greyness of everything, because sure, Mu Qing isn’t a noodle like Shi Qingxuan, but is he worse than White No Face?

9) Spectrums aren’t enough – adding depth

Almost all of WWX’s moral ambiguity comes from the fact he has hard decisions to make. And for each of these decisions, the outcome is murky. He developed a new technique to fight against the Wens, but at what cost later down the line? He defended the Wens and gave them a few years of life, but was it worth it?

Compare with JGY. JGY does a lot of good. He also does a lot of bad. The magnitude of both lists is ridiculous. Sure, you wouldn’t usually find someone who’s killed most of their family members in any way likable, but how often do you come across someone who literally ended a war?

So one way of creating moral ambiguity is to make each decision difficult, but another way to go about it is to just… make them do loads of things. Like loads of things. Good things, bad things, all the in between things. Judging each thing is not that hard, but then trying to judge the overall person based on it is extremely difficult.

10) Pulling from the real world

Often, moral questions in fiction is hard because (surprise, surprise) moral questions are just hard full stop. Idk enough Chinese history and culture to accurately pin down all of MXTX’s references, but things like stupid misunderstands leading to conflict, poverty and inequality, less than ideal family situations, the horrors of war… these are all things that happen irl. No matter how fantastical the setting, grounding moral conflicts in reality makes us feel more emotional and invested.

Anyway, I hope that was an enjoyable rundown! This is an imperfect list, so comments, criticisms, suggestions greatly appreciated!

#i cannot get over how good mdzs is #a moment of appreciation here #mxtx #mxtx meta #svsss #mdzs #tgcf #svsss meta #mdzs meta #tgcf meta

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the-oscar-isaac-collective · 4 months

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WE HAVE A THEME & MOD APPLICATIONS ARE NOW OPEN!!

Mod Application Form

After collecting the feedback from the interest check, there were some common themes and interests that you all have voted for.

(More below the cut)

The majority of you are chomping at the BIT for idiots to lovers in the SFW portion of the interest check, however, a good portion also wanted enemies, exes, and childhood friends to lovers. Additionally, the majority of people voted for a coffee shop au out of the aus available. So we decided to go with a coffee shop themed fanzine with an emphasis on "blank" to lovers for the trope!

We were going to leave the coffee shop part out, but the whores in the interest check (I say as though I'm not one myself) voted for creampies and breeding, along with things like one bed, loss of virginity, rough sex, e.t.c.

So, given the coffee shop au situation for the SFW section, we saw an opportunity to get clever with the name and make them kind of go together, and thought "people can write/draw about breeding and creampies AND add the one bed trope, loss of virginity, rough sex, e.t.c. if they want to!"

So as you start thinking up the things you want to create for the zine, keep these guidelines in mind...

!!APPLICATIONS FOR ARTISTS AND WRITERS WILL ROLL OUT NEXT WEEK!!

SFW:

You'll be assigned the characters you will work on after the applications have been concluded. WE DON'T SUGGEST STARTING TO WORK ON ANYTHING UNTIL THEN.

Must have something to do with coffee/tea but doesn't have to be exclusively coffee shop au. For instance, if you wrote about Poe and wanted it to take place in the Star Wars universe, it doesn't necessarily have to be at a coffee shop, but should at least involve coffee in some way shape or form.

Fics will be kept between 1.5k min - 3k max word count.

SFW does NOT have to mean fluff, you can have angst, action, drama, e.t.c.

No works may contain anything sexually suggestive, though light flirting or domestic fluff like kissing is allowed. Just nothing too heavy.

All pieces are x reader/x y/n. The gender of the blank reader/ y/n is at the sole discretion of the creator.

There is no skill or experience requirement to participate.

NSFW:

Must have something to do with creampies.

This is NOT a dark fanzine, therefore non-con, extreme dubious consent, and other dark themes are strictly prohibited. We may do a darkzine in the future but this ain't it.

Fics will be kept between 1.5k min - 3k max word count.

The work MUST contain sexual content, and a creampie of course <3

All pieces are x reader/ x y/n. The gender of the blank reader/ y/n is at the sole discretion of the creator.

No threesomes. I know I'm sorry, we're not against them, but in order to keep this zine organized the way we have it planned it just won't work out with more than one person.

No skill or experience requirement to participate.

I'm so excited for you all to join us in this fucking EXCITING project coming up!!! I can't wait to see what you all create for it!!

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merrybloomwrites · 11 months

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You Can Start a Family (Chapter 1)

Summary: During their break from Love on Tour, Mitch and Sarah make a new friend. She's spent years taking care of herself and others, nearly to the point of burnout, and they have plenty of love to share. The couple becomes a trio, and eventually a quartet after Harry finds out the truth about the relationship between Mitch, Sarah, and Y/N.

Hi everyone!! I've had this idea brewing for awhile and finally started writing it. For those who found this in the Harry Styles x Reader tag, I promise he will enter into the story later. Not to give too much away but it will eventually be the 4 of them all together privately but as 2 separate couples publicly.

I'm a sucker for hurt/comfort and all things soft, and am branching out into more spicy territory, so this should me a good mix of both. I hope you enjoy!

(yes the title is from Matilda, it's a found family story, of course the title is from Matilda!)

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Mitch and Sarah had been touring with Harry for years, and they loved every minute of it. They got to play for wonderful crowds of fans, explore new places, and meet new people while falling ever more in love.

But when Mitch’s mother, Tammy, was diagnosed with cancer and had to undergo a series of surgeries, they immediately made the decision to sit out the Asia and Australia leg of tour to be with family. The doctors were very confident that they would get all of the cancer, but everyone was still nervous.

The first surgery had been a success. There were 2 days in between procedures to give Tammy time to recover. Mitch and Sarah spent plenty of time at the hospital with her to keep her company. They shared stories, played cards, even sang to her when she was dealing with pain.

On the second day post-op Mitch’s father, Mark, went to the hospital early in the day and asked for some time to be alone with his wife. Mitch and Sarah let him know that they would come in the afternoon and bring lunch for everyone. That morning they decided to walk around the neighborhood.

Mark and Tammy had moved into their house two years prior. They had sold Mitch’s childhood home in the center of town to buy a house in a quieter area. It really was a lovely street they lived on, quiet with lots of open land. Even though it was only late-February, the weather that day was mild, making for a very pleasant walk.

The residents of the neighborhood were all very friendly. Everyone Mitch and Sarah walked past shared a greeting with them which Sarah reciprocated with a cheerful good morning as Mitch politely waved.

When they were almost back at the house, they came across a young woman pushing a stroller. She looked to be in her mid-20s, and they guessed the little boy was roughly 15 months old.

Mitch and Sarah had discussed having children of their own. They always knew that they had a lot of love to share and a desire to care for someone but decided to remain child free. They felt that with their lifestyle they wouldn’t be able to give a little one their full attention.

“Good morning,” the young woman said with a smile and a slightly confused look on her face.

“Good morning,” Sarah replied before turning to the stroller to greet the toddler. As she waved to him, Mitch reached his hand out to the girl to introduce himself. “I’m Mitch, and this is my wife, Sarah.”

“I’m Y/N, I actually recognized you guys. I’m a fan of Harry Styles, and I think you both are really awesome.” Internally, Y/N was freaking out at casually bumping into two of her favorite musicians, but she was determined to remain calm and casual.

“Aw, thank you, that’s so sweet!” Sarah said. “What is your son’s name?”

“His name is Ryan, and he’s actually not mine. I’m the nanny. It’s a common mistake.” It truly was. Every time you were seen in public with Ryan people assumed he was your son. For a 26-year-old who looks so young that you still get carded every time you go to a bar, having a toddler as a companion suddenly ages you in strangers’ eyes.

“You said you’re a Harry fan, is this little one a fan as well?” Sarah asked.

“Oh, he definitely is. He loves music, and every time I put on videos of Harry, he pays close attention. Even when I put on One Direction, he’s most focused when Harry sings.”

“Have you been to any of Harry’s shows?” Mitch asked.

“Yea, I actually went to one of the Chicago shows. It was amazing! I had such a fun time. He puts on a great show, and you guys and the whole band are really talented.”

“What’s your favorite song of Harry’s?” You were about to answer Sarah’s question when Ryan started kicking and yelling.

“I’m sorry, he doesn’t love being in the stroller too long, especially if we’re not moving. I should get him home so he can run around before nap time.”

“Oh of course! It was lovely meeting you Y/N,” Sarah said as Mitch smiled and waved next to her. You waved good-bye and started walking down the driveway to Ryan’s home, noticing Sarah and Mitch walk into the house directly across the street.

Once you got back to the house, your internal freak out finally became an external freak out. “Ryan! That was Mitch and Sarah! We bumped into Mitch Rowland and Sarah Jones, how crazy is that?” Ryan stared at you and you imagined he was thinking that you were the crazy one, freaking out over random people. You continued on with your day, deciding that afternoon to bake cookies for the couple. Ryan was a wonderful helper, pulling every mixing pot and utensil he could find out of the kitchen drawers to scatter all over the floor while watching you do something he’d never seen done before. You talked him through every step of the cookie baking process, thinking that every activity is a new learning adventure for the little guy.

Meanwhile, Mitch and Sarah spent a couple of hours that afternoon visiting Tammy in the hospital. She had been told the first surgery was successful and that they would move onto the next step as planned. She was also feeling better than she thought she would having just had surgery. She knew that it was going to get harder as they did the final two procedures, so she was happy to spend time with family while she was feeling up to it.

Mark had gone home for a little while and came back around 5 in the evening, sending Mitch and Sarah home so he could have dinner with his wife. They said good-bye and let her know they would be back the next morning before her second surgery.

Shortly after, Y/N finished her workday and went to drop off the cookies on her way home. She knocked on the door and a moment later Sarah answered.

“Hi! Ryan and I baked cookies today and wanted to share with you and Mitch.”

“Thank you so much! Are these snickerdoodles? Those are my favorite!”

“Yes, they’re mine too! I used my grandmother’s recipe. We used to bake them together for like, every holiday.”

Mitch walked into the entryway as you finished speaking. Sarah handed him the container saying “Look, Y/N baked us cookies. Isn’t that sweet?”

He smiled softly saying, ��Thanks. Can I actually ask a favor?”

You nodded, having no idea what he would say next.

“Can you not post online about us being here? We’re here for a family matter and don’t really want anyone to know about it. Or know where we are.”

“Oh of course! I would never share where you all are. I don’t really post online at all anyway. My Tik Tok and Instagram are pretty much just of my cats.” You forced yourself to stop talking before you made your life sound incredibly sad. Because truthfully, you felt it kind of was. You had barely any friends in the area or living family members. Aside from going to work, you didn’t get out much. You spent most weekends at home with your cats reading or bingeing the same TV shows over and over again. But no one needed to know that.

“Thanks, we really appreciate it. It can be hard to have privacy sometimes and right now being home with family we really need it.”

“If there’s anything else you need just let me know! I’m right across the street most of the time and my apartment is only a few minutes from here. Have a great night you two!” They said good-bye and you got back in your car before you could say anything to make a fool of yourself. You felt you had done well so far, but you were secretly fangirling and were afraid that it was only a matter of time before something crazy slipped out of your mouth.

You hadn’t lied when you said you never posted on social media. There was no way you were spreading personal information over the internet, especially personal information about someone else. However, it was difficult to not immediately call up your best friend and tell her who you had met. You were just so excited to have interacted with Mitch and Sarah. You had been a huge fan of theirs for so long. There wasn’t much about them online, just short snippets from concerts and interviews here and there. It was hard to guess how they would be in real life, but so far, they seemed like sweet, down to earth people.

When you got back to your apartment you took a quick shower, had dinner, and decided to read some of your book. You were nervous that if you touched your phone, you’d call your friend, so you ended up going to bed quite early to avoid temptation. You fell asleep thinking back on the interactions of the day, happier than you had felt in a long time.

What you didn’t realize is that you had made an impact on Mitch and Sarah as well. After you left, they sat down to have dinner together and you became a topic of conversation.

“She seems sweet,” Sarah said.

“Yea. And calm.”

“I didn’t even guess she was a fan and recognized us at first, she was so casual.”

“Well, you were also distracted by the baby. You missed the barely contained panic on her face when we first said hi.”

“Ah so that’s why you introduced yourself. It did seem out of character for you to strike up the conversation.”

“I’m not completely socially inept Sarah, I can talk to people when I want to. I just don’t always want to.”

“I know that. I was just curious about what you saw in her that made you want to talk to her. Thought maybe it had something to do with that conversation we had a couple weeks ago. I know I thought back to it when she stopped by with the cookies. She is rather pretty.”

Mitch put down his fork and just stared at his wife for a moment. He knew exactly which conversation she was bringing up. One they had after Harry’s birthday party post Palm Springs night 2. After Harry’s birthday show the whole band and crew went to a club that had been reserved for their group. While Harry generally liked a more laid-back birthday dinner, he figured since it was also the end of the US leg of tour, they all deserved to go a little wild.

On top of their normal entourage there were a fair number of people in attendance that Mitch and Sarah didn’t recognize but assumed either knew Harry or were somehow connected through their networks. Well into the night, when everyone was feeling rather loose thanks to the alcohol in their systems, a young woman came up to the married couple. She introduced herself as Colleen, and let them know that if they were interested, she would be more than happy to please them both. They were startled by how forward she was, and immediately, but politely, turned her down. Once she walked away, they shared a surprised look.

After getting back to their hotel, Sarah brought up the interaction suddenly while getting ready for bed. “Maybe we should’ve said yes.”

“Said yes to what?” Mitch asked, slipping out of his jeans and throwing them on top of his shirt that was already piled on the floor.

“Said yes to that girl.”

“What girl?” Drunk Mitch wasn’t always the best at paying attention enough to store conversations in his memory.

“Colleen. You know, the one who offered the three way.”

“Oh.” Mitch joined his wife in the bathroom so he could see her while they had this conversation. “Is that something that you would want?”

“Maybe? I don’t know. Obviously, it’s not something I need. You keep me more than satisfied, so this isn’t about anything being missing. But you know I’ve always been interested in experimenting with a girl.”

“I still can’t believe you spent years touring with bands and never once hooked up with a girl.”

“Yes well, I was focused on work at the time. It just didn’t seem all that important.”

“But now you’re interested in the possibility again?”

“Part of me feels like I want to have that experience, even just once. I mean I know you’ve experimented with boys. You and Harry had your fling in Jamaica.” Mitch smiled thinking back to the writing trip they took when working on the first album, before the touring band had been brought together and he met Sarah.

“Alright. Maybe we’ll meet someone who’s a good fit for us to branch out a little and have some fun. But right now, I am drunk and exhausted so let’s get some sleep and talk about this again when we’re more coherent.”

They didn’t talk about it the next morning as they dealt with their hangovers, nor did it come up in the following weeks. Not until Sarah casually mentioned it at Mitch’s parents’ kitchen table on a random Wednesday in February. Just as Mitch was about to reply his father walked in, effectively cutting off the conversation. But now it was on top of both their minds, surely not to be forgotten for weeks once again.

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A/N: Thank you so much for reading! Chapter 2 is posted here!

If there are any specific scenarios you want to see with this dynamic let me know and I'll try to work them in! I might do some blurbs outside of the main story as well.

Hope you enjoyed, and I'd love to hear your thoughts and feedback!! (or if you find a typo, feel free to point it out!)

#sarah jones x reader #mitch rowland x reader #harry styles x reader #mitch rowland x sarah jones #mitch rowland x sarah jones x reader #sarah jones x mitch rowland x reader #mitch rowland x harry styles

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 4 months

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AITA for ignoring a childhood friend?

This happened a while ago, but I still think about it pretty often.

I used to have a friend, let’s call her Ally. Ally and I shared one thing in common — we were the weird kids. We used to sit at a lunch table by ourselves and bitch about how mean the popular kids were. A little cringey, but hey, we were in middle school, what are you gonna do?

Our friendship suddenly cut off because, after she asked why she had such a hard time making friends, I suggested, “Well, you are kind of sensitive.” This caused a massive rift between us. This would be fine, since I had already made some better (though only slightly) friends. But she somehow convinced the staff that we were actively fighting, which we weren’t. I was mostly just avoiding her. This meant, a couple of times, I was called out of class just so that we could sit in the counselor’s office to “make up”. She also believed, even when we got older, that I should “protect” her from her bullies, even though 1) I never saw her get bullied, and 2) that shouldn’t necessarily be my responsibility, especially after we weren’t friends anymore.

But that was in middle school. People change. And she did, sort of. We obviously grew apart, and because of that, I thought she matured, since I wasn’t around her as much. We started becoming more friendly in high school. My friend group even included her during lunch, and she seemed to move past her petty stage.

Without going into too much detail, another classmate called someone in my friend group and said she was going to really hurt herself. When my friend called 911, this classmate was furious when she got sent to the hospital. Ally was friends with her, so this caused some high school drama. Ally took the classmate’s side, because she believed because of their mental illness and her attempt, that it didn’t matter how my other friend felt.

Ally only got more and more immature from there. Slamming her books together and stomping out the door during an argument at lunch, rolling her eyes and making a face every time she walked past me in the hallway, and generally being nasty to me and my friends. Luckily, I didn’t get the brunt of it, but my other friends sure did.

We tried going to the office about it, but they said because of her disability, they didn’t want to get involved, and suggested we just “ignore it”. So we did. And, eventually, everything blew over, as high school drama does. Even if it drains everyone of every last bit of energy we have before it does.

The next year, she starts trying to rebuild our relationship, which I don’t want to do. She starts constantly texting me (I don’t know why I didn’t just block her number), asking me why we can’t be friends again. She gets me Christmas gifts, then uses them against me during an argument. I keep telling her why over and over, how awful she acted a year before, how you can’t force people to be your friend, how her personality and constantly playing the victim made her difficult to be around. She kept making a face in the hallway, talked about me behind my back (or so I heard), and yet she wanted to kiss and make up.

Junior year, things went quiet again. We didn’t like each other, but we were civil. I had stopped responding to her texts, and she had stopped pestering me. She was gone for a while due to a surgery, and I didn’t see her again after that.

Then, suddenly, COVID happened.

Over online learning, I got a few texts from her about my desk set-up, like what kind of plant I had next to me, what was my stuffed animal’s name, stuff like that. I decided to be nice, and responded, but ignored every subsequent response, and she didn’t try again.

I didn’t hear from her again until my freshman year of college (I’m a junior now). From a new number, she asked me how I was, what I was doing, normal fare. Instead of responding normally, I sent her a response in Japanese, since I was learning it at the time. I pretended this was a new number, and that I had no idea who she was talking about. She bought it, and I blocked the number.

I know that she could have changed, and maybe she was trying to reach out. But, considering how awful she was, and the kind of people she surrounded herself with, I don’t know if she could ever change enough to make up for how she’s acted.

Should I have given her a chance? I can’t now, of course, but maybe I could make an effort to find her if you think I should?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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faiiryteethh · 26 days

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I'm just curious is there anything that you have in common with alice liddell to make you the "irl alice liddell" other than looking like her? I see it appearance wise but I was just wandering if you actually relate to her as a person/character...

Yes!! A big reason why she means so much to me is because I have so much in common with her & I've felt such a deep connection to her character ever since I played the first Alice game.

Trigger warning! some of our similarities include very sensitive topics 💜

we both were sent away to Asylums

we both were abused / mistreated at the Asylums

I also had a toy rabbit that i loved dearly but was taken away from me when we were thrown out of our home (along with a lot of my other childhood belongings)

we both have a sister named Lizzie

we both have been manipulated and made to believe we were insane by people we trusted. for her it was Bumby and for me it was my own mother, sadly.

we both have experienced psychosis or hallucinations

we both have been given medication / treatment against our will

we both have self-harmed

we both have experienced extreme grief and survivor's guilt as a result of a loved one dying while we somehow did not.

we both have PTSD & are haunted by our trauma/past.

both of us have memories that are so painful that our brain actually forgot about them. like alice i did recover my memories but i went through dissociative amnesia for years.

we both are fond of animals

we both had a sibling who was r*ped (except in my case the person who did it also r*ped me too)

we both have used opium as a vice (except my form of it was modern day heroin)

though i never actually received shock therapy I was almost forced to undergo it because i had lost my rights to refuse treatment by being deemed "incapable of making my own medical decisions" and was scheduled for ECT treatments against my will. I was so terrified by what the patients looked like who were coming back from ECT (scabs on there upper forehead, some of them who became my friends couldn't even remember who i was, one woman had forgotten what her own daughter looked like!) and because i was so scared i ended up climbing the fence to escape the hospital while we were outside for "yard time". i am still so grateful that i made the decision to escape and i succeeded. even though i have bipolar disorder, i was only 19 and was way too young for ECT. and i later found out that many patients had been mistreated and medically abused at that same hospital. some of them had even died under "mysterious circumstances" i also had other horrific things happen to me there.

shout out to McClean Hospital! also/formerly known as Somerville Asylum and Charlestown Asylum!! if you know anyone who has attended this hospital then they most likely have some horror stories to tell.

but yeah i'm sure i have a lot more similarities with alice. these are just the things i could remember off the top of my head. her character means the world to me. hence why alice: madness returns is my ultimate comfort game. i also truly love the aesthetics in the game itself. i love bugs, rabbits, cats, strange creatures, fantastical things, the victorian era in general. so so much of what is displayed in the game is directly similar to my personal interests or IS one of my interests lol. i could go on and on about my love for the game and my love for alice but i think this post is already quite long so perhaps i should end it here😊

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pinkeoni · 1 year

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Will Byers, Coming of Age, Transformations, Predators, Queerness & Teen Wolf

There’s one part of the “leaks” that sappicjopper put out that really caught my attention—

And as to not look naïve, yes I am highly aware that these “leaks” are likely fake. However, disregarding the legitimacy of this as a “leak,” it is in itself a compelling idea that does have some legs to stand on as a theory.

So awhile ago I made a post about Will’s coming of age story and how that fits into the horror genre, and how exploring coming of age and sexual awakening through the supernatural is a popular trope.

I wanna point out three films I use in my analysis, Ginger Snaps, Jennifer’s Body, and Black Swan. These films have a lot of things in common, but one aspect I want to point out is there use of physical transformation.

These transformations covers an umbrella of different themes depending on the character, but something that all three of them have in common is sexuality. As all of these women become more sexually liberated, and thereby seen as dangerous by those around them, they fall deeper into these physical transformations. (IE Jennifer and Ginger both eating men after they have sex with them)

In my original post I also discuss how this fear of sexuality, or view of sexuality as something monstrous and predatory, is related to queerness. Both Jennifer Check and Nina Sayers are visibly queer characters in both their respective films.

So what? All of this is very speculative, how do I know that Will is going to go through a similar arc, just because I can relate him to a few movies that I like personally? How do I know that the Duffer’s are going to do something similar? Is there reference to a movie within in the show, that features transformation as an allegory for coming of age and queerness?

Actually, there is.

All credits goes to @chirpsythismorning for their deep dive post into the shows use of the film Teen Wolf, which appears in the show as one of Rick Conroy’s recent rentals as well as the poster in the background of a few shots.

(screenshot credits to @chirpsythismorning)

The Freddy Krueger standee, the character who kills people in their dreams whose actor makes a cameo in the show, positioned right over Max’s shoulder should be enough to say that the film references in the background are a lot more than just meaningless references.

Teen Wolf is a 1985 supernatural coming of age movie about a teen named Scott who learns that he is a werewolf.

Within s4 we actually get some parallels between the film and Lucas’ arc— Scott is a basketball player who seeks popularity before embracing who he is and what he really wants. However, I think it’s possible that the film could also be a piece of foreshadowing for Will’s arc in s5.

While Scott is not an explicitly queer character, there is some coding within the film that correlates his lycanthropy with queerness. Remember this is a mainstream teen movie from the 1980’s, if there’s going to be any queerness it’s gonna have to come from subtext, although it is pretty unsubtle.

There’s this very heavy handed scene where Scott confesses to Stiles that he’s a werewolf, and Stiles believes that Scott is coming out to him initially.

There’s also this conversation Scott has with his father that can be read as queer coded.

Or essentially saying, being queer isn’t easy, but it’s not bad either. And then Scott equating his queerness with being a predator, and expects to be hunted as such.

When Scott goes through his first full transformation, it’s right after he played a game of two minutes in heaven with his childhood friend Boof, equating sexuality with his beastlihood.

In s4, there’s a big emphasis on the word predator.

Will’s queerness is an open secret in a town that believed he was “killed by some other queer” and that a group of satanic sodomizers are responsible for murder. I’m willing to bet that that predator label is going to be put onto Will, especially as he begins to come more into his own sexuality.

What would be a literal way to portray this predator title? By having him transform into a predatory creature, just as everyone sees him.

Am I saying Will is going to become a werewolf? Well no, that wouldn’t really make sense with the show. But there is something that may have even been foreshadowed in the show.

How would this transformation even happen? Well, as our “leaker,” or rather, enthusiastic theorist suggests, it has something to do with his connection to the Upside Down, which is progressively leaking more and more into Hawkins. So not a literal zombie, but maybe a zombie like creature that could survive in the Upside Down.

When Vecna was sent through the gate to the UD we saw him go through a physical transformation as he adapted to his environment. This would he a like a speedrun version of that amplified by Will’s own personal connection to the UD (which I believe predates his kidnapping)

It would also serve as a way to highlight the parallels between Vecna and Will, what by having Will physically become similar to him. What better way to show the Vecna/Will mirrors by having Will look in the mirror and see the spitting image of Vecna staring back at him.

Bonus: Scott in Teen Wolf in played by Michael J. Fox, and which character was dressed similarly to a popular Michael J. Fox character in season one?

#will byers #byler #<- target audience #stranger things #will byers has powers #i left out the cannabalism bit because thats more of wishful thinking on my part #…but it does conveniently tie in with the idea of being a predator #and is common with these transformation trope films #maybe he should eat people!!#tw cannibalism #just for those tags lol #also just so i dont get accused #im not trying to steal aspects of lucas’ story just to slap onto will #just saying that the teen wolf parallels can apply to both characters #lucas has more of his overall arc and will has the transformation queer allegory arc #stranger things theory #my theory

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heliads · 2 years

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Hi! Could I please request a Nikolai Lantsov x reader where they’re childhood friends that fell out of touch (with mutual pining, no doubt :) but meet up again on the open seas, when he’s tailored as Sturmhond but wants to talk to them as Nikolai? I like the idea of a pirate reader, though I’d love to see where you go with the idea. Thank you so much! Love your work ♥️

the vibes of this request >> let me tell you anon i was THRILLED

masterlist

There was a time when you thought the world could only ever end, that you would live your life start to finish within the same four walls, or at least variations of them. You centered your entire being around insignificant things that could never last long— a wildflower left without water in the dry earth outside your home, a friend you made when you were just a child— and grew consequently hopeless when they all left in turn.

What do crackling leaves and vanishing golden blond boys have in common, though? They teach you lessons no one else will. Lessons about how if you crave something not given to you, you must take it by force. Lessons about how although everyone leaves, it is far less painful if you are the one shipping out on strange tides. You did your time of learning, and now you push it further still on the bow of a ship you taught yourself to sail and master.

Few people would expect someone who had once been a well trained Ravkan to trade their entire life for one at sea. Those who know you, though, wouldn’t even bat an eye. You have never been made for cages, and now you break them. It’s as easy as that.

There were a few times when you wondered if you were making a mistake to cast off all your old ties for this. There had been moments when you swore your precious Ravka held everything you could ever need. There was a family, once, that promised you the world. There was a friend, once, who made you think that you could have it.

Your childhood has long since disappeared, however, carrying with it parents and their fables as well as blond boys who know too much for their own good. You know what was expected of you, and you hated it. Too terrified of turning into those same people you saw every day, you fled. Let the gilded gates of Ravka wither with rust. You will not be there to see them fall.

Thus a ship was acquired and a crew was found. It can be difficult to track down men worth trusting in any province, let alone one run by gold-drunk old men, but you make do with what you’ve got, you always have. Convicts and criminals may run with wolves every night, but they’ll protect you in a heartbeat, and rather do it above anything else.

That was where one chapter closed and another began. You’ve been on the seas for a few years now, staying afloat through odd jobs that have a miraculous way of paying you far more than they should. Interest runs high when there’s no one to check you. It would certainly be a shame if your men took more than their fair share from those who have too much money to ever miss it, wouldn’t it?

You’ve gained a name for yourself over these years as well. Among the lighthearted community out there on the sea, few could hope to have half the reputation that crowns your head. There’s one like-minded soul that you wouldn’t mind meeting, but then again, the list of people who’d like to meet Sturmhond could fill an armada. You’ve heard rumors that he’s talked of engaging with you as well, but you can only take those with a grain of stolen salt. Thieves of the sea forge truths as often as false documentation; until you meet the man himself, you’ll never know for sure if he truly wants to know you or not.

Still, when you’re out with your crew one day, heading out of the Ravkan harbor after another successful voyage, it isn’t beyond you to search the endless seas for some sign of another ship. And, when one of your crew stationed up in the crow’s nest for lookout shouts something down about seeing a schooner speeding up towards you, you can’t help a leap in your chest. Everyone’s heard stories about the Volkvony, but fewer still have actually seen it in person or lived to tell the tale.

When you stride over to the side of the deck to get a better look, though, your hopes are confirmed. It is indeed the Wolf of the Waves, Sturmhond’s flagship, and it is indeed approaching you. This close to Ravka, it’s hard to tell if the privateer could actually be gunning for you or just headed towards the coast, but they drop anchor soon enough.

You haven’t done anything to irritate the infamous seaman as far as you’re aware, so this meeting could be merely a passing pleasantry. All the same, you tell your crew to be on high alert. Sturmhond is notorious for narrow escapes and bold moves. It would be just like him to rob a fellow privateer just for the thrill of saying he could do it.

When the redheaded man first steps foot on your deck, however, you do have to wonder if he could truly be here for any nameable crime. His face is harsh, weatherbeaten and rugged as if carved into being by a blade instead of shaped by any Saintly hands, but it still holds a certain something that lends itself well to receiving stares. He takes his time getting a good look at the ship and the crew before he looks at you, so you have the pleasure of studying him before Sturmhond is ever able to consider you.

You take your time in it, too. You have never met the privateer, and would certainly remember it if you did, every detail down to the flamboyant teal frock coat, yet you can’t shake the feeling that something about him is familiar. You find yourself searching his face for some sign of recognition– perhaps a shade of muted green in his eyes that you’ve seen elsewhere, or a lock of copper hair that reminds you of a sailor you’d passed before, but can find no explanation anywhere in your memories.

At first, you think you must be confused, merely trying to delude yourself into thinking that you could have a connection with such a famous master of the seas, and then Sturmhond looks at you at last and you know you’re not making things up. He is careful to keep his face light, his expression sharp yet bright, but for a moment his demeanor slips. There is one half second in which you lock eyes and you swear that he recognizes you, and in that brief infinity, you know that you were wrong to ever doubt yourself.

The instant is over in a heartbeat, and then Sturmhond is back to his usual self. He claps his hands together, announcing for all the world to hear that he had heard of your ship in passing and wished to meet a fellow captain. He’s done this before, you’ve heard of Sturmhond evaluating sea captains to see if they’d fit in well with his fleet, so it’s not unusual for him to pay you this visit.

Still, when his eyes linger on you, you can almost convince yourself that there’s another reason for his presence here, something that he’s not telling you or at least won’t mention in front of the crowds of pirates surrounding him. You nod once and extend a hand towards the captain’s quarters.

“How about we speak somewhere in private? I would welcome any chance to confer with a fellow seaman.”

Sturmhond laughs briskly at the understatement of his title, and strolls over to accept your invitation. He keeps up his air of unconcerned bravado while all eyes on him. It is a different story once the door shuts behind you and the voices of the crew fade into the background.

You take a seat behind your desk and gesture for Sturmhond to relax as well. He makes a show of flicking his coat as he sits to show off rows of pistols, knives, and other weapons, but it doesn’t faze you for a second.

Instead, you steeple your fingers on the table in front of you. “Do you want to tell me why you’re really here?”

The privateer laughs again, and you swear that there’s something familiar in it, some sort of tone that you’ve heard before. “Can’t I just drop in on a friend?”

“We’ve never met before,” you counter, but add on something more when his face drops almost imperceptibly, “or have we?”

“I would hope that I’d make such a fantastic impression that you’d have no choice but to keep vivid memories of me wherever you go,” Sturmhond says pleasantly, “If that’s not the case, I’ll need you to keep that to yourself. I have an image to uphold, you see.”

You nod once, eyebrow raised. “Oh, of course. And how does that image relate to the fact that you’re being Tailored?”

Sturmhond’s face drops in a flash, although he picks up his charade a half second later. Still, even the momentary lapse is enough for you to recognize that you’ve seen straight through him. “I hope that’s your way of saying that I’m so handsome that I have to be the work of a Grisha, but it’s not the case. Many have tried to discredit my natural beauty, but–”

You cut him off with a raised hand. “But it’s true, isn’t it? You look at me like you’ve seen me before. That would only work if you’re wearing a different face than when we met. That’s why you’re here, isn’t it? You knew me as someone else and you want to see what’s become of me. Tell me, was it before or after I took to the seas?”

Sturmhond waits a second, two, and you’re just about to wonder whether you’ve colossally misread the situation and Sturmhond really isn’t Tailored at all when he sighs. It sounds like the dying breath of a god, all weighty pain and deep grief.

“Before,” he whispers, “long before.”

It is the easiest thing in the world for a pirate to lie; you’re all taught it at a very young age. Still, you know instantly that Sturmhond is telling the truth. You don’t know how you know, you just do. You know him better than you know yourself. It is something only many years of contact would teach you.

“How old were we when we met?” You ask tentatively. Pieces are starting to click together in the back of your mind, memories you haven’t thought about in quite a long time. His face may be changed, but his voice– something about his voice, maybe, his eyes, the way he looks at you–

The corners of Sturmhond’s mouth prick up into a half smile. “I don’t remember. Very young. We knew each other for quite some time too, and then I had to leave suddenly. I don’t even know that I was able to say goodbye. I was–”

You interrupt him again, this time with a shaky laugh. “Blond. You were blond and a prince. Saints, Nikolai, what have you become?”

It is a gamble to say his name like this, out of nowhere with little to no evidence to back it up. All the same, seeing Stumhond– Nikolai– and the way his face lights with some indescribable emotion the second you say his name is how you know you’re right beyond measure.

This is him, then. This is Nikolai Lantsov. This is the childhood friend you worshipped when you were barely knee height, the boy you grew up with until he disappeared one day without a trace. You had met him somewhere you can’t remember, on a street whose name is both the only thing you will ever know and also the first to vanish from your mind when you need it most. Nikolai had been your best friend, your truest friend, and the one whose absence hurt more than any blade when he left.

It makes sense now, of course. Nikolai was a Lantsov above all else. Of course he would be called away from you at some point, he had duties you couldn’t even begin to understand. You heard rumors that he was in the military, or studying in Ketterdam, and then some other grand plan that criminals like you wouldn’t be privy to in a thousand years, no matter how well you knew Ravka’s golden youngest son.

Here he is now, though, wearing a face that isn’t his and smiling at you like he has finally found the one treasure no pirate could ever dream of taking. You look at him, and although every facet of his face is changed, you see him. Nikolai. Your Nikolai.

You can’t help a smile. “What are the odds that we’d both pick this career path?”

Nikolai grins as well. “Surely very small. I didn’t think you’d recognize me this easily, though. I have to say, it’s making me doubt my own appearances, and I prefer to do that as little as possible.”

You chuckle. “I’ve known you for years, Nik, you can’t honestly believe that I wouldn’t see straight through you. What was your plan, then, if I didn’t recognize you? You would sweep up to my ship, engage in some idle chatter, and leave without telling me a thing? Would you really be so cruel as to let me go another few years without knowing that I’d met you again?”

Nikolai’s eyes shine at the nickname. “I didn’t know what my plan was. I had heard stories, but I didn’t dare connect your name with them until I saw you and knew for sure. When my men spotted your sails this morning, I knew I wouldn’t be able to stay away unless I saw you again. It’s been too long, Y/N. Far too long.”

You nod in agreement. “What will you do with yourself now that you know it’s me? Pack up your things and sail off to another distant corner of the world just like you’ve been doing all this time?”

Your tone holds no malice, only the faintest hint of regret. Losing Nikolai had been like losing yourself when it happened all those years ago, and now you’ve got to say goodbye to him all over again despite just getting him back.

Nikolai, too, seems unwilling to part ways just yet. “We don’t have to separate,” he whispers, “I’m in need of a good captain in my ranks. Someone I can trust more than anyone. That has always been you and you know it.”

You let a small smile slip onto your face. “Are you offering me a job, Sturmhond?”

You emphasize the false name and he rolls his eyes. “Your old friend misses you,” he replies, “isn’t that enough? That and the promise of untold wealth?”

He holds out his hand, and you shake it without a second’s hesitation. “I’d follow you anywhere,” you say simply, “I would hope that you’d know that.”

Nikolai stands, and, crossing around the desk, pulls you into a tight embrace that leaves you breathless. Without his Tailored face hidden in the crook of your neck, you can pretend that nothing has ever changed, that you are both still children growing up on Ravkan shores that have yet to cast you off.

“I don’t want to let you go again,” he says against the top of your head, “I look forward to seeing you fly my colors, moi kapitan.”

You laugh. “Always the flirt, weren’t you?”

“Anything for you,” Nikolai says breezily, and extends a hand towards the door. “Shall we tell your crew of the good news? I’m sure they’ve been waiting long enough.”

You nod, but steal one last moment to stand here and look at him. You have your friend back, your Nikolai, your captain. Nothing could make you happier. At last, you walk to the door of your cabin and push it open. A wave of dazzling sunlight threatens to blind you, and through the rippling light, you see Nikolai by your side. Him and nothing more.

grishaverse tag list: @rogueanschel, @deadreaderssociety, @cameronsails, @mxltifxnd0m, @story-scribbler, @retvenkos, @thatfangirl42, @amortensie, @gods-fools-heroes, @bl606dy

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accioprocrastination · 7 months

Text

Estranged (part 2/?)

Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x Reader

A/n: fluff, angst, grief

Summary: Rooster and his ex best friend go to dinner

The two of you drive in convoy to the small diner that you spent 90% of your childhood in.

Every time you look in your rearview mirror and see is the broncho he's had since you were 18, you feel a mixture of giddiness and fear.

"Why did I fucking agree to this?" You mutter pulling into the parking lot.

Without giving yourself more time to worry about the uncomfortable reality of this reunion, you walk over to his car and wait for him to clamber out.

You follow him as he walks to your booth - the third one in from the back on the right. As a kid you would always insist on sitting in this exact booth because this is the best location to people watch. Scooting in across from him you wonder if he remembered that or if this is a weird coincidence.

"What's that look for?" he asks eyebrows scrunched together.

"Huh?" You respond, trying to ignore him as you pick up the menu from the table.

"Why bother looking?" He asks eyebrows raising, knowing that you both already know what you're ordering.

"What if something else looks better?" you ask.

"Better than the world's best pancakes, what planet are you on over there Kazansky?" He teases.

You roll your eyes as a waitress starts approaching your table.

She takes your orders all the while giving Bradshaw heart eyes. You watch her walk away and glance between the two of you in your peripheral. She's debating whether he's single. Or whether she can take you.

"So?" He asks expectantly.

"So what?" You respond.

"Tell me everything that has happened since we last spoke." He clarifies.

"I drove here and - " You say and he kicks you playfully under the table to stop you talking.

"You know that's not what I meant!" he interrupts.

"Yeah I know..." You respond unsure of what he actually wants you to say. You haven't spoken to Bradley in years it would feel weird to keep things surface level and weird to be as intimate as you used to be.

"Things haven't been great since the last time we spoke." You admit.

"I'm sorry about your dad. I heard through the grapevine that he's sick again." He says reaching for your hand across the table.

You change the conversation topic back to him, asking "What about you, how have you been?"

"A bit all over the place. Work is great now but it's taken forever to get to that stage. I got married since the last time we spoke - " he starts summarising his life over the last few years.

You don't interrupt him but the thoughts in your head come to a grinding halt and then suddenly torrent your mind to the point that whatever he says next is lost on you.

He got married and didn't invite you to his wedding.

Mr Perfect married someone you've never met.

"How did you meet her?" You ask automatically presuming their gender.

"At a joint birthday party of two pilots I was stationed with a few years back." He responds.

"Cool." You say not bothering to sound less disinterested.

You know you fell out of touch but it hurts that he wouldn't invite you to his wedding.

How could he marry someone you don't even know the name of?

"What about you, are you seeing anyone, married, divorced etc?" He asks.

"You know me Brads, my standards are too high to date people." You respond not telling him that your life is in the exact same place it was last time you spoke, except this time your dad is dying.

"Hahahahaha yeah do you remember when Ryder tried to get you to go out with him?" He questions, bringing an uncontrollable smirk out on your face.

"Stop." You say to him with a giggle. "That was the most embarrassing day of my life it genuinely gives me nightmares thinking about that still! We were literally eleven - surely people have enough common sense not to do that at that age?" You ask giving Bradley a dramatic look that makes him start cackling.

You snigger thinking that no one at that age should have a total lack of self awareness to the point that they think asking someone out via a break dance routine is a good idea.

"He broke his fucking leg doing that and you still said no." Bradley is red from laughing at the memory of you trying to shield behind him while being serenaded.

You both stop laughing as the waitress approaches the table and you order your usuals.

"Shocking choice." Bradley murmurs as you went for the same thing you always go for. You roll your eyes at him, annoyed that he would have to comment on that.

Your phone buzzes on the table between the two of you with a text from Coyote, then seconds later it buzzes with a second text "Hangman". Bradshaw mouths from across the table.

You don't have previews on so all you can see is his name on your screen.

It is quickly followed by an onslaught of other texts.

"Do you want to get that?" Bradley asks.

You shake your head not one of those people who will sit glued to their phone when out with someone else.

"You seem close with Hangman." he probes.

"Yeah." You respond seeing the distain on his face as clear as day. "I take it you're not?"

He huffs.

"He's an idiot in the air and on the ground." Bradley shakes his head.

You open your mouth to call him the idiot when the waitress appears.

"Oh you're a pilot?" the waitress asks placing his food in front of him.

He nods totally oblivious to her advances or completely uninterested.

She's literally put lipstick on since she took our orders.

You're annoyed.

This feels awkward and forced and all you really want to do is pick up your phone and read whatever Jake and Javy are saying.

The waitress comes back to ask if everything is okay with the food.

You've gotta be joking, you think when you see that she's taken off layers to show some skin and has undone a few buttons on her shirt.

"Do you think if we stick around long enough she'll get naked?" you remark.

He raises his eyebrows at you looking completely clueless.

"Who?" he says confused.

"The waitress you dipshit." you say without thinking. "She's been flirting with you all night, you cannot be that oblivious." You add shaking your head.

"You jealous?" he teases.

"In your dreams Bradshaw." you roll your eyes, not admitting that there might be some truth behind that.

Part 1 in case you missed it

Masterlist

#bradley bradshaw #bradley rooster bradshaw #top gun rooster #rooster x reader #bradley bradshaw x reader #bradley bradshaw imagine #tgm #top gun au #top gun maverick #tgm fic #tgm x reader #rooster fanfic #bradley rooster x reader #top gun hangman

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absolutebl · 1 year

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Hi! Why do so many BLs have one character meet the other when they were a child and love them since then…. I’m watching History 5 and the second couple has this trope with the older one loving the child but loads of them have a child ‘loving’ the older guy for years (Minato, second couple in History 4, lovely writer)

Is this a common trope in non-BL Asian dramas? Maybe I’m missing some cultural aspect but it makes me feel a bit weird… I’m fine when they both meet as children but when one’s a child and one’s an adult it feels off to me!

We Met As Kids, Therefore I Love You

Yes, it's a super common trope in ALL Asian romances.

There's a human cross-cultural claim-to-care around having met someone "first" giving one person priority to another's affection and in their life.

For example, think about how many fans (of say a Kpop group or band or actor) will claim to be "better" or morally superior to other fans of that same talent, because they have have liked that group/person "since the beginning" or "before they were famous." How about those who claim superiority because they read the book before the TV series became popular?

To have loved something FIRST is often allied with being better at loving it, there is a value judgement to longevity of association. (This is also true around disliking someone/something first.)

There isn't a name for this logical fallacy, although there should be. I would say something like appeal to tradition argumentum ad antiquitatem (which is a red herring fallacy). So appeal to time, argumentum ad tempus?

(The 8th Sense is doing some VERY interesting things to philosophically battle this concept right NOW, actually.)

Narratively speaking, if you have only a short amount of time to unfold the story (for example We Best Love) this trope gives writers a quick way to justify pining and affection (usually from the seme character). So backstory can be cribbed for character development. That character is already in love, so we don't have to show him falling in love, only one character is in play for that.

In longer narratives (like Word of Honor, Lovely Writer) this is a secret that gets to be slowly uncovered and explored as a plot point. If you have them meet as children, or when one is a child then it justifies one character not remembering the other (because peoples appearances change from childhood to adulthood).

I think the popularity in Asian dramas in particular has to do with collectivist cultures and family obligation/intimacy priority. To have known (or met) someone as a kid adds a level of intimate connection that justifies any affection that much more than meeting later in life.

There's a very funny scene in Kdrama (noona romance) Thumping Spike (recommended) that directly mocks this trope. Near the end the main couple openly together and they are in the car with the (former) love triangle dude. He lost, even though he's the one with the childhood crush. He directly combats this concept by saying (basically): If longevity guaranteed romance, I should be married to the grandma who runs my local convenience store.

Another well known Kdrama that combats this trope is Strong Woman Do Bong Soon (recommended) which goes out of its way to have the love triangle character who would normally lose the girl, actual win her this time. (So the one who loses is the moot crush from childhood.)

In BL, I tracked this one for a while:

Also here are a few BLs that DO NOT use this trope:

(source)

#asked and answered #Korean bl #childhood crush #long term pining #We Best Love #taiwanese bl #Strong Woman Do Bong Soon #Kdrama #KBL #Korean BL #Thumping Spike #Word of Honor #Chinese BL #bromance #the eighth sense #argumentum ad antiquitatem #appeal to tradition #logical fallacy

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anonymocha · 6 days

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Medbleu headcanon medbleu because you made me like this one more (Ex Balloon Party Baby Blue believer)

Baby Blue is KLS representation (I think) how cool. It's a very rare condition where people get so tired all of the time and will be asleep from weeks to months basically. Her way with living and coping with her illness has made Medicine Pocket a lot less morbid about their own condition and enjoy life more.

Baby Blue is more calm while Medicine Pocket is more limbic. Even though Baby Blue struggles between reality and her unending dreams, she has sleep-talked Medicine Pocket out of doing all kinds of awful things to themselves by slowly repeating back their answer to 'what are you doing'. Medicine Pocket wants to be someone she can depend on; they are more careful and steady when thinking of Baby Blue

Medicine Pocket, in turn, keeps Baby Blue safe when she is unaware of her surroundings. It was really crude at first but after they figured out it was impossible to change her condition they became more protective rather than bothered by the constant dreaming.

Baby Blue has a hundred nicknames/petnames for them. Medicine Pocket isn't confident with coming up with these names but she gets so happy whenever they come up with a new one. Blue's favorite name for them is 'Puppy'.

very wholesome..... Baby Blue requires Medicine Pocket to sleep with her for at least 6 hours a day. She can be little a clingy when Medicine Pocket comes home.

also also Blue mistook Medicine Pocket for a wonderlandshark at first and after she presumed them as such they had to step out of the room to try not to cry and explode thats True love .

📣Good Night USA

This is so important to me you have no idea ooouuuhhh 😭😭😭😭😭 I never thought of a proper proper wholesome dynamic between them to this extent and now I am enlightened…

This is a LONG post you have been warned. The MedBlue brainrot is SUPER REAL.

OK I CAN IMAGINE BABY BLUE CALLING THEM PUPPY IN THE SWEETEST SOFTEST SLEEPY VOICE EVER FULL OF GENTLE LOVE AND ADORATION… IM GONNA CRYYYYY AND MELT AND EXPLODE… Mental support Baby Blue is real (both in a meta and metaphorical sense).

I also like how she’s, in her own way, helping to keep the researcher in check. Someone has to keep her safe, therefore they also should keep themself safe so that they can be there for her. Yes, they love their job and the delightful dangers it brings with it. But they also have a person dear to them waiting for them. Also, in my headcanon, Medicine Pocket shelters a lot of supposed-to-be-experiment dogs at Laplace so they got to get it together for their pups, too (I imagine Baby Blue napping together with their puppies at the Laplace fields occasionally… Puppy tea party… Somft…). They want to take care of her and their pups, be dependable, and protect them. They used to think that this protection comes at the cost of their own wellbeing but NUH UH. Baby Blue's presence and words remind them that there are dangerous thresholds that they don't need to cross, no matter how 'logical' it seems.

She wants them to sleep with her an adequate amount of hours, therefore they cannot fuck up their sleep schedule by pulling impulsive all-nighters (I’m guilty of this too whoops). These two would get! Cozy! And Baby Blue would softly sleeptalk nonsensical but calming tales from her wonderland to help them sleep. I assume bedtime stories aren’t a very common thing in their childhood, especially when they got taken away with the beagles. So Baby Blue's whimsical, imaginative antics would be like taking back tiny but meaningful pieces of their lost childhood, stolen by a life of cold, clinical, and dangerous research. After they started sleeping with Baby Blue, her warmth and comforting stories allowed the researcher to get not only much-needed sleep, but also sating a yearning. A yearning for coziness and unconditional peace they likely brushed aside for a long, long time through the span of their childhood to teenhood.

On Baby Blue, a lot of people likely gave up on her. Doctor after doctor after doctor shook their heads and raised their hands after examining her condition. Teachers, friends, and even strangers are bewildered by her, calling her crazy, and treating her as more of a 'case study' or 'phenomenon' than an actual person. Those who did stick around her for a while couldn't stand her constant dreamings and tendencies to isolate, they either took it to heart or found themselves drifting away from her. It took her a while but she convinced herself that she was used to it, wonderland and its dwellers were her true friends after all. But at the same time, I feel like she would still realize that she's living in two worlds, and recognizes her loneliness in one of them. She tried to not think about it for a while but it likely bit at her some nights. Medicine Pocket may be the only doctor insistent enough to stick with her for longer than many others before them thanks to their stubbornness and curiosity. That's enough to get her attached to them, to say the least.

I WOULD LOVE TO SAY MORE THINGS ABOUT THESE TWO (such as her wonderland and their research on it, Baby Blue getting curious on Medpoc's research which led to them infodumping, more Baby Blue interactions with Medpoc's pups, Medpoc protecting Baby Blue from weirdo doctors at Laplace, etc etc) BUT I MAY NEED TO SLEEP GOODNIGHT INDONESIA 🔊THANK YOU ANON FOR THE ASK FEEL FREE TO SEND ME MORE OMG THE MEDBLUE BRAINROT IS REAL!!! I want to write a fic abt these two SO BAD. I want them to BE HAPPY!!!

#medblue #babypocket #Baby Blue #Medicine Pocket #mochasks #thank you anon #oh i actually also like the dynamic between Balloon Party and Baby Blue i thought of them before….#ouuhhh Baby Blue you are the character ever #reverse 1999 #the medblue fic im writing rn is TOXIC i boutta do a u-turn

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