#but mainly set in season 2

[addictiedtocrimedrama]

26 Years Chapter 2- Chapter 1 - 2x01, Lost Souls

Summary: It's been almost a year since Clara rejoined the IRT and things are back to normal and the team still oblivious of her and Jack's relationship (or so they though).

(as the title suggests this is set before/during/a bit after the season 2 premier aka "Lost Souls")

Author's Notes: Sorry I haven't updated in months but school events and exams got the better of me and got be bussy/forget to work on this chapter.

Anyways, this is gonna be the start of the story. I will just let you guys know that this fic will include/mention characters from CSI: NY, FBI (TV 2018), and Law & Order. When the jet lands it's around 6:50 PM on a Saturday and Isa had a group call for a class at 7:20 PM since her school is in the Philippines, so it would be a Sunday if we're talking Philippine time, and she's also gonna be studying online. This fic takes place during season 2 because it feels like this is when Jack and Clara's relationship finally gets revealed. After all, there are so many times I feel like they couldn't keep hiding and tell the team. But I'll take my time with that. I should also let you guys know that the first two parts of this chapter takes place right before the season 2 premiere. The dialogue is mostly taken from the episode/s itself and I might skip a few lines here and there. Starting from this chapter onwards will quotes used at the start of every chapter which would be the bookend quotes from each episode. I'll also at bits of angst here and there throughout out the story, so beware. The characters at times may feel OOC, but it's fanfiction, so I don't care. Any and all mistakes are mine.

WARNING: I DON'T OWN CRIMINAL MINDS: BEYOND BORDERS, IT BELONGS TO ERICA MESNER AND CBS.

As usual gif credit goes to @shannyfishwriter bucause it's from their blog where I saved this gif. Also please consider this gif as a spoiler for what's gonna happen near the end of the chapter.

Little by little, a little becomes a lot. - Tanzanian proverb

Clara puts her mug in the cabinet and sighs. Another case is solved and she and the team are heading home. She's glad about that, especially since none of them's gotten a full night's sleep because they've been getting case after case since last week. She takes a seat on one the couch and sighs again. Then she hears someone approaching her.

"Though I might find you here." She didn't need to turn around to know who it was. She gave a small smile before replying "Can't really hide from you can I." she said turning to Jack.

To a normal person, it sounded like she was asking a question, but in reality, she was telling a statement. Jack chucked "Well I guess you're stuck with me SSA Seger or should I say SSA Seger-Garrett," he says taking a seat next to her. She gave a small laugh at that and slightly snuggled next to him.

They knew keeping their relationship a secret from the team was a bad idea, but neither of them ever dared to tell the team. They stayed like that in silence for a few minutes until Jack asked, "What's on your mind?" Clara gave a deep sigh and then said, "Nothing really, just ready to go home and finally get a full night's sleep." They once again stayed like that for a few more minutes until they both silently agreed to finish up the files on the table.

They worked in comfortable silence until they heard what sounded like Isa arguing with either Mae or Emma. When they came into view they realized that Isa was arguing with Mae about waking her up 25 minutes until the plane would land. Clara silently chuckled at the fact that Isa knows so much about aircrafts just by watching a TV series and that she makes a big deal that she's woken up 25 minutes before they land like it's that if she doesn't get into her seat 30 minutes before they land it's like she's gonna die. When the plane landed, the team packed up their bags and went home.

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When they get home, it was 6:50. Isa went to the room that she shares with Emma since her some of her classmates had a group call that was going to start, and Emma was with RJ working on their homework with a bit of help from Jack and Clara. After around 50 minutes, Emma and RJ are done with their homework, and they're talking about what they're going to have for dinner.

"What do you kids want for dinner?" Jack asks RJ and Emma. "I want to try this new restaurant I saw on the way home from school, I couldn't remember the name, but the sign had a chicken holding some kind of drink over the name of it," RJ said sadly. After a few beats, Emma spoke up "We passed by that restaurant on our way home right mom" she said enthusiastically "We did are you talking about this restaurant RJ?" Clara asked showing RJ a photo of the restaurant, "Yeah that's the one though it said that they're only serving take-out." Jack and Clara glanced it had been a while since they had take-out at home. "Okay we'll have JJ's tonight," Clara said, "Can either one of you two ask Isa what she wants for dinner?" she added.

"I'll do it, I need to head to my and Isa's room to grab my headsets anyway." Emma said "Okay Em but be quiet since I'm pretty sure that she's still in one of her classes" Jack replied after checking his watch. She nodded and headed to the room she shares with Isa.

She quietly opened the door, so Isa can't hear her and waves at Isa and mouths (grabbing my headsets) to her, and after she finds them, she asks Isa, who just removed her headphones "Hey mom and dad asked what you're gonna have for dinner since we're ordering take out from JJ's." Isa thought for a moment before saying, "Can you tell them I'll have the Adobo Flakes with the egg sunny side up and Sago't Gulaman." the only reply Isa got was "okay". Before she leaves, Emma asks her, "You guys already done or something? I saw you removing your headphones." Isa shakes her head and replies saying "Nah, we just took a quick break since this project's going to take longer than we expected." she simply replied "Okay, just curious" then she left.

A few minutes later, their order arrives. "Hey RJ can you give these to Isa," Clara asks, giving RJ a take-out box and cup with a straw and a spoon and fork. "Okay, mom" was the only reply RJ gave his mom. Later, when RJ comes back down, he eats with his family at the dinner table. After dinner, they cleared up the table, took a shower, and got ready to go to sleep, which Emma was relieved about. A few hours later Emma checks the clock in the living room to see it's a quarter to 11 which she knew was when Isa usually logs off and just does the rest of her homework in the morning. Emma enters her room to see Isa just about to shut down her laptop.

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The next day was a Sunday so Matt spent time with his family at the park, Mae and Monty were having brunch together, Isa was doing her homework, and Jack, Clara, Emma, and RJ went to mass. Later that day, the team got a case involving a Church group that went missing in Tanzania.

"We've got 23 missing Americans in Tanzania. They're members of the Brunswick Mission Church in Texas" Jack said as they boarded the jet. "They spent a week volunteering in villages before they disappeared. They were last seen en route to a rural retreat. Uh, the conductor had eyes on them about 2:30 in the morning, their time." Monty said giving them details about the church group and the case. "Well, That was 12 hours ago. A lot can happen between now and then." Simmons said, bringing up the time gap.

  "Have the local police searched the area where the train stopped?" Isa asked the question that was on all their minds. "That's the thing. They didn't stop." Monty replied. All of them were confused, how could 23 people vanish from a moving train. Clara decided to ask that question, "Well, you're... you're saying people vanished from a moving train?", "Yes, but all the employees insisted there were no stops, no commotion." Monty said in a matter-of-factly way.

"Then what's their explanation?" Mae asked, still not believing that 23 people disappeared from a moving train. "The Rapture." Jack said, reading from the case file in hand. All of them turned their heads towards Jack, shocked to hear the local's explanation. "Like... "plucked from the Earth and taken to Heaven" rapture?" Emma asked, not convinced it's the best explanation for how the Americans went missing. "The one and only." Jack confirming what she said.

"Yeah, well, we have to assume that it wasn't a miracle that took these people." Isa said, not believing that they were taken by the rapture. "How does an Unsub take 23 people?" Emma asked, still bewildered at this case, "Well, we can't figure out the how unless we know the who." Clara pointed out, "Who has the skills to pull this off?". "It'd have to be an organized group who's done this kind of thing before." Matt said, "And I bet they're heavily armed." Isa said trying to make sense of everything. "Well, criminal gangs and rebels have surged into Tanzania to escape their own unrest. I mean, travelers are easy prey." Clara said thinking that they could be looking at a criminal gang or rebels who took the Americans.

"Monty, any luck on getting us the passenger manifest?" Jack asked the analyst, "No, because most tickets were purchased in cash. However, I am trying to figure out how many more passengers there were on the train by going through the background in social media posts." Monty said to his boss. "The Americans posted these on their way to the retreat, before the cellphone service went out." he added, showing the team a video of the Americans having fun on the train. "Do all the missing have active social media accounts?" Mae asked, "No. About half of them. Why?" Monty replied, not sure where Mae was going on this, "Because their loved ones are gonna be expecting an update soon." She replied. "Yeah, we should get ahead of this, reach out to their families." Clara said, agreeing with Mae.

"Monty, we need to control what gets out, so it's best they come to you. That's a lot of people. Maybe the B.A.U. can help." Jack said, knowing that he might need help with the families. "Both governments have agreed to wait 24 hours before releasing a media statement. The clock starts when you land." Monty said, letting them know they have a day until the American and Tanzanian governments would release a statement. "Well, a day doesn't give us much time to find 'em." Clara said a bit grimly. "Well, let's hit the ground running. Local police have started a search, but the area is so vast, they need us to help narrow it down. These people were out to help others. I'm not about to let them get punished for it." Jack replied.

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"Some things to keep in mind... avoid touching people of the opposite sex since this could upset some people." Clara told them as they drove to the station where the train that the missing Americans rode is located. " And always keep your left hand to yourself, since it is considered dirty." she added. Almost all of them glanced at Isa who said jokingly, "Hey, I can only control myself, not how others respond to me. And before anyone asks, yes that was a direct quote from Criminal Minds: Beyond Borders: The Reboot episode Harvested where the team went to India." they all laughed at her since they all know how much she loves the show. For the rest of the drive, they talked about a lot of other things until they reached the station.

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When they got to the train, they saw a man they assumed was their liaison. They got out of the jeep and approached him. "Inspector Polino" the man introduced to them offering his hand to Jack. "Unit Chief Garrett. This is my team... Agents Simmons, Seger, Rubirosa, Jarvis, and Garcia." Jack said, introducing himself and the team. "Agents, please come this way." Inspector Polino gestured for them to follow him. "We saw no forced entry, and it looks like the belongings of the Americans are still on board." he relaid to them as they walked next to the train.

"We need to speak with the employees who discovered this." Jack said, "I hope you get more out of them than I did." Inspector Polino replied, "Are they cooperating?" Isa asked, silently hoping that they wouldn't give any of them trouble. "Yes, just insistent on their beliefs. But I believe there's someone responsible." was the reply of Inspector Polino, "Does this look like the work of any militias or rebels around here?" Clara asked, wondering if her theory on the jet was right. "There are legends out there... men who go beyond just stealing what they can and leaving tourists stranded, ones who want to punish." said Inspector Polino. "Can you lead us to these men?" Matt asked, "They are who they are because we cannot catch them. They attack and move on. They are the most dangerous ones." replied the Inspector. "We understand that, but right now, they're our best lead, so we need to track 'em down." Emma said, trying to figure out how to track them down.

"Clara, Emma and Mae, you start on victimology from what's left on the train." Jack said, "Simmons and Isa, the two of you should look at routes and talk to the conductor who found the empty car." he added. Turning to Inspector Polino he said "Inspector, I'd like to talk to the search party." the Inspector replied saying "They are gathering here soon. I also have officers searching the route, but they are overwhelmed. The train traveled overnight, no stations between. Where do we begin?" Jack, understanding they have a lot of area to cover, said, "Well, give us an hour. We'll have a starting point."

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Emma, Mae, and Clara got on the train and were going through what the victims left. "So the youngest is Nicholas... 7 years old. Son to single mom Rebecca." Clara said, while also going through some photos on a tablet, "That's brave to bring him all this way." Mae responded, "Well, yeah, but they were traveling with their church, so it's essentially an extended family." replied Emma from the far end of the train car they were in.

Mae looks around the train car and notices something "That's weird" she said. "What is?" Clara replied, looking up from the tablet in her hands. Mae looks around the train car again to make sure her suspicions were right "If this has anything to do with money, it's strange the UnSubs didn't take any of the valuables." she answered as Clara approached one of the seats "This attack was quick and efficient. They prioritized." she added to what Mae said.

"Maybe they were holding out for something more, like ransom." Emma suggested as she rejoined Mae and Clara. "Yeah" Mae said as she turned to face one of the seats and notices something. "Also forensic countermeasure" she added, then held up one of the phones to Clara and Emma. "There's no reason for us to track the GPS, since their phones are right here." Emma then checked one of the windows then said "And like the inspector said, there's no sign of forced entry."

As they continued to look around the train car, Mae notices something then proceeds to approach the door of the train car, "The only thing is this door." she said as she picks up a screwdriver that was on the floor near the train car door. "Maybe the UnSubs were on board." Clara said as she turns around and walks to Mae. "Yeah, but a jumping would have caused a lot of injuries" Mae countered, bringing up the fact there was a lack of a struggle. "Unless this is an inside job." Emma suggests as she looks out one of the windows. Mae and Clara walk towards Emma and also look out the window. "Yeah, this would make sense if one of the employees was in on it." Clara added, agreeing to what Emma was implying.

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While Emma, Mae, and Clara were going through what's left of the train, Matt and Isa along with Inspector Polino went to talk to the conductor who found the train and look at routes the train could have traveled.

When they approached the conductor, Inspector Polino spoke first saying something in Swahili neither Matt nor Isa could understand. "Yes, Gervas." the man replied. "And I speak English." he added. "Thank you for helping us. So were you the last one to see the Americans?" Matt asked. "I did rounds at 2:30. Everything was fine." Gervas replied. "And you arrived here at... at 6:30 this morning" Matt said. Gervas simply replied with a simple, "that's right". "So somewhere in the span of those four hours, the Americans disappeared. Do you know what happened?" at that question, Inspector Polino turns to look at Gervas while Isa carefully watches him.

"I think it was the Rapture." Gervas said simply. "They were delivered to Heaven." he added. Isa, who wasn't convinced, said "You think they were the chosen ones?". "I do." was his reply. "But you were not." Inspector Polino said equally, if not more, unconvinced than Isa. At that Gervas turned his head to look at Inspector Polino and said "It's okay. I have many responsibilities here. ". "Do you have children?" Matt asked. "Yes. Do you?" he replied. "Yeah." was Matt's reply, "And I keep thinking about those parents are going through back in the United States." at that Gervas walked to the side of the table separating him and Simmons and said, "They should be happy. Their loved ones are with God."

When Gervas said that Isa and Inspector Polino getting a little irritated which made Isa snap and say "You cannot prove that". At that, Gervas backs away a bit from Isa. Matt intervenes by stepping a little in between Gervas and Isa, then he turned to face Gervas and says "Listen... I can't do my job unless I look at all sides. The thing is, we do believe they were chosen, just not in the same way you believe in. And whoever took them was watching and waiting for them to be vulnerable. We think they're organized, and patient, we also believe that they needed help from the inside to pull this off." at that Inspector Polino was glancing between Matt and Garvas while Isa was giving him a mild glare. Though that glare might have been more intense than she was projecting since it was enough to scare him. "Now you're saying the train never stopped." Matt asked, hoping to finish this soon before Isa's temper gets the better of both herself and Gervas. "That's correct." was all he said.

Matt knew that the next question might be hard, but he knew he had to. "Well, forgive me for asking, but if someone were to threaten your family, would you do whatever it took to protect them?" to which Gervas simply replied "Of course". "Would you stop a train, so they could kidnap Americans?" Isa asked in a bit of a harsh tone, harsher than she was hoping for, if was being honest. At that Gervas backed away more then said "Listen, I swear on my children's lives that did not happen. Do you understand what I'm saying to you?" in a bit of a half panicked, half defensive tome. "Look, if I'm lying, my children will be damned to hell. Look, I had nothing to do with this. I swear to you, I did not do anything. Please..." he added.

Matt, trying to calm him down said "Okay, okay, okay." with that Gervas release a sigh. "Alright. I believe you. I need your help. You've worked this train for years, right?" Matt asked. Gervas simply replied a simple "yes". "Alright" Isa responded. Though she didn't mean it, her response came out a little sarcastic, which she internally winced about. Then everyone goes to the table where Matt asked Gervas "So there's 400 miles between when you last saw then and when you arrived here in Arusha." to which he simply nodded. "Can you us any terrain where you may have slowed down, even a little bit?" Matt asked. "Yeah, I can do that." Gervas replied, then proceeded to do as Matt asked.

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Jack was waiting for the search party to arrive when he saw Clara, Emma, and Mae getting off the train, "What did you guys find out?" he asked. Clara the first to get off said "Well the UnSubs were definitely on boar and like what the Inspector said there's no sign of forced entry. We... Aaahh" though she wasn't able to finish what she was saying because she lost her footing and trip. Thankfully, Jack was able to catch her before she fell flat on her face. "Better watch your step next time, Clara." he said, helping her straighten herself out. Clara rolled her eyes and said, "Yeah, yeah".

"There were also no signs of any resistance, so it could be an inside job." Mae said being a bit more careful as she got off the train. "If this was an inside job, was one of the employees in on it too?" Jack asked her. Emma was getting off shrugged then said, "We won't know until Isa and Matt get back. And there's no chance of us using GPS to track them, since they left their phones on the train". "I also noticed that the door was jammed from the inside with a screwdriver." Mae added, to which Jack nodded then said "That could strengthen your theory that it's an inside job". "Yeah, and the UnSubs also didn't take any valuables, which told us the attack was quick and efficient and that they also prioritized." Clara added. "Which mean they could be holding out for something like a ransom demand." Jack concluded.

Emma turned her head a little then exclaimed, "That's what I thought ". Just then the search part came, then Jack left to address them. Almost instinctively, Clara followed in suit.

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Jack quickly scanned the small group of people who had come to help them. "First, I want to thank you all for volunteering your time. We believe we're dealing with a specialized abduction, requiring many offenders. They're confident, organized, and have the means to hold 23 people hostage. They likely have access to encampments, vehicles, and weapons. We're narrowing down a starting point for the search and can begin to canvass as soon as we confirm. Thank you" then Clara who was standing to his right said "Asante tena (Thank you again)."Just then they saw Isa and Matt jogging up to them. "Hey guys, we got a possible point of attack." Isa said, slightly panting. Jack made a quick glance at Clara as he said, "Let's go."

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As they exited the vehicles they saw a trellis to which Matt pointed out saying "So the train slowed down here to get over this trellis." Jack added to this, saying, "This could be the snatch-and-grab point, but it's doubtful they kept them here". "There's not much around. They were definitely exposed." said Emma as she commented on the lack of vegetation. "And look over there." Clara said, pointing towards the hill right next to the trellis. "They must have come down that hill". "The footprints... they were all scattered." Inspector Polino said as he pointed to the many footprints on the ground. "It would have been chaos, but they gained control." Isa said.

There were a few seconds in between when Isa asked, "Which way did they go?" and Mae calling out saying, "Guys, I got something here." then gestured for them to come to where she was. Which they did, and she said, "It looks like one of the leaders... Jacob Ross". Jacob was covered in blood with what looked like multiple stab wounds to his abdomen, bloodied knuckles, and blunt force trauma to his skull just to name a few.

After a while, they seemed to notice that they were being watched. "They've got eyes on us, up on the ridge" Jack said, looking up to a camp at the top of the ridge, then asked Inspector Polino, "What do you know about those rebels?". "The flag is a Somali rebellion that's wreaked havoc all over the continent." he answered then added saying, "They are at odds with everyone". "If the Americans are held hostage inside that camp, I'll lead the negotiation. I'm not calling in armed forces. Their presence could inflame the situation." Jack said then Clara responded saying, "Yeah, but we do have one thing on our side." she elaborated on it by saying, "In Somali culture, there's something called "kobigana ukiketi" which roughly translates to "fighting while seated." Those at odds can be civil, unless they're on the battlefield". "Okay, then. Simmons, Polino, and I will approach. Clara, you, Isa, Mae, and Emma lead the search party. We found one body. There could be more." Jack said to Clara.

A while later...

"What did you find up there? Do they have the Americans?" Clara asked them as they rejoined the rest of the team. "Well, it wasn't those guys. I mean, they're horrible, but they haven't got the space to hide anyone there." Matt responded. "And they're not organized enough for a mass abduction." Jack added, then turned to Mae and asked, "What have you got?" to which she replied saying, "Looks like Jacob Ross suffered multiple contusions from multiple sources. Put up a hell of a fight. He has defensive wounds all over. The C.O.D. is still undetermined, since I can't properly examine the corpse out here, but right now, I'd say it's a tie between the blunt force trauma to his skull or the stab wounds in his abdomen".

After hearing what Mae said, Isa asked, "Overkill anyone?". "The UnSubs may have taken the whole group, but I think that the target of their rage was Jacob." Mae said, to which Emma responded saying, "Well, he and a handful of others has volunteered in Tanzania before. Maybe they made enemies". "We should look into their previous trips, see if there's any other conflicts." Jack said. "Well, they were organized enough to plan forensic countermeasure, like dumping Jacob's body near the Somali rebel camp." Isa said, trying to get into their UnSubs head. "Well, the overkill tells us there's a personal connection, and they want them to be punished. Killing Jacob is proof that they mean what they say." Matt added. "We should look for secure locations where they could keep 22 people." Inspector Polino suggested. Clara, however, was a little doubtful and said, "Yeah. Problem is, if they have vehicles, they could be long gone by now."

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"When we looked at the things left behind on the train, women were the only ones who had personal items. The men traveled light." Mae said as she joined everyone else. "That sound stereotypical." Matt replied. Just then Emma's phone ringed telling her she got a message, she pulled the device out and said "Except it gets weirder." as she read the text. "Monty said he's only been able to get a hold of the missing women's families because they all had social media accounts". "But none of the men had any social media presence at all." Clara added, "Zilch." Emma confirmed.

"Go ahead, Monty" Jack said with his phone on speaker with Monty on the other end. "So Jacob's estranged wife is here, and she got really anxious when I mentioned the church and, more specifically, Elijah Ward. She said that Jacob would follow Elijah anywhere, and actually referred to him as a "loyal subject."" Isa scrunched her eyebrows then said, "Well, that's an interesting choice of words". "So they're not the partners that we thought they were. Elijah's the leader." Mae said, a bit stunned. "And Jacob was killed by someone he knows." Clara added. "Let's focus on Elijah." Jack said, as they got to work on a profile.

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"Elijah started this devout group, initiated Jacob as his right hand, and then 11 more men joined over the next few years." Mae said as she circled Jacob, Elijah, and 11 other faces in a group picture. "Elijah and his 12 disciples" Jack commented. "And then he slowly recruited nine more women, including Rebecca Moore, who brought along her son." Clara added. " According to their loved ones, all these women struggled with abuse and were searching for help." Monty informed them over the phone. Then Emma realized something, then said, "Which would make them easier to manipulate." which in turn made Isa realize she's on to something. "You think these women were taken against their will?" She asked her. "Yeah, I mean, they were far from home, which gives Elijah the ultimate power and control over them. They'd be too afraid to revolt." she replied. "We were looking in the wrong direction. The UnSub's on the inside." Matt concluded. "This is a radical cult, and Elijah is their charismatic leader." Isa continued. "He groomed these women to trust him. He used their faith against them." Jack added, then he finished by saying, "We can't let him get away with this". "So... where would Elijah take them." Matt asked as he placed a map on the table they were using.

A while later...

Jack rejoined the team with Inspector Polino and said, "Our initial profile was correct. This is a mission-oriented group, but Elijah is their leader". "And it took years for him, years for him to plan this." Clara continued. "Everything he does, he does for a reason. He chose all of these villages." Isa added, pointing to different parts of the map, then asked, "Do they have any meaning to you?". "These spiritual leaders are extremists." Inspector Polino replied. "Probably recruited those men to help set up the commune." Emma suggested.

"Elijah suffers from a religious psychopathology referred to as a "Moses complex." He doesn't think he's God, but believes he speaks for Him." Jack said. "And he believes he was chosen by God to lead his people to the promise land." Clara added. Then Emma got a text from Monty, then she said, "Hey guys, Monty just sent this. "Elijah was born and raised by a delusional young couple" who believed that he could speak to God". "And they named him accordingly. Elijah was a Hebrew prophet in both books of Kings and in the Old Testament." Isa said trying to remember a lesson is her CLF class. "His parents were arrested "for severe abuse to their other children." All were taken away, but it was too late for Elijah." Emma said as she continued reading Monty's text. "He was driven to make his parent's belief his life's mission." Clara concluded.

"He wasn't afraid to kill for it. Jacob's murder unleashed a homicidal rage. And if he's showing signs of euphoric stress, it could fuel him to take more risks and hurt more people." Matt said. "What were his sibling's names?" Jack asked. "He was the youngest of eight. Kids were Ezekiel, Isaac, Ruth, Caleb, Miriam, Rachel and Samuel." Emma replied as she finished reading Monty's text. "Why" Inspector Polino asked. "All names from the Old Testament. It was drilled into his head. He planned the train ride to get them close to the Olduvai Gorge." Jack answered. "And historians believe that's the original Garden of Eden." Isa said remembering it from a one of show she watched. "I know a shortcut." Inspector Polino said promptly. Then they all swiftly left the room and quickly got on the road.

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As they arrived near the Olduvai Gorge, they all quickly got out of the jeeps all geared up, with a few people already having their guns out and with flashlights in hand. There they saw what looked like a school bus. Jack was about to check it out when Mae spoke up and said "Jack?" then motions to the path in front of them. "They'll be protective and convinced we're attacking. We don't want another Waco. We go as a peaceful negotiation." Jack said, addressing the team and the backup force they had. Then they slowly walk to the path which would lead them to Elijah and the other Americans were.

[in the building where Elijah and 21 other people are]

They slowly enter the building, with Jack taking the lead. Then they saw Elijah and the other people turn, almost as if on instinct. "Who are you?" Elijah asked. "My name is Jack Garrett. I'm with the FBI." Jack answered, which made Elijah sate flatly, "You don't belong here, Jack." to which Jack countered by saying, "Neither do these people". At that, Elijah turned to fully face them, and everyone who was armed drew their guns. "We are on our own path. It's not for you to judge." he said. "I'm not judging. I'm protecting those who didn't choose to be here." Jack answered to which Elijah reasoned saying, "Every choice they made has brought them to this very spot." then Jack took a few steps forward and said "Maybe that's true, but if anyone's here against their will, that's against the law".

At that, Elijah addressed the members of the church group and asked them, "Brethren, do you recognize Jack?" he continued on saying, "He is the serpent that wants us to deny our truth!" to which Jack replied saying," I'm only advocating free will. We both believe in that. Does anyone want to leave?" at that, everyone who had their guns drawn tighten. "No one is in danger here, but your souls will be if you run back to the life you know, to darkness, to demons! We can start over here. I have built a safe place for you. Remember why we left! This is our destiny! Don't let them scare you." Elijah said, trying to convince the church group members to not go to the IRT and local police. "God's work is to spread the light, not hide it away from the world." Jack said then added, "Why would you hide everyone away?" to which Elijah replied saying, "Because the world isn't safe. And It's my fate to help others".

Jack took a few more steps towards him and said, "I know how you feel. Sometimes, I... take a leap of faith. Other times, I deal with hard facts, like in this case. You tricked the women to join you here." to which Elijah said, "No, I'm saving them from the abuse they have suffered". "Have you told anyone what happened to Jacob Ross?" Jack asked. At that, everyone turned their heads to face Elijah. "He was brutally murdered. It's the way he was killed that told us the most. It was personal. He showed signs of fighting back... bloody knuckles, skin under his fingernails." Jack continued then asked Elijah "Who did that to your face?" then he responded "Why would I kill Jacob?". "He threatened your leadership, and you punished him for it. Then you sacrificed Jacob to lead the investigation away from your paradise." Jack said, then added, "You're a false prophet and a murderer". Jacob, getting a little defensive said, "How dare you come in here and spill those lies?" then Jack quickly countered saying "All you men are trusted disciples. How much longer before he kills you?"

"I'm scared." Nicolas said, then ran to Jack. Then one of the armed men nudged Rebecca to do the same, then both her and Nicolas ran to Clara, who guided them out. "Free will, right?" Jack asked. As soon as Jack said that, all the women from the church group ran towards them, with Mae telling them reassuringly, "Come on. This way. Okay. You're safe now. Come on, come on".

Then, when they thought they were able to talk Jacob down he grabbed one of the armed men's guns and points to Jack, at the same time he draws his own gun and points it to Elijah. "You've ruined everything." then Jack replied, saying, "Don't you see? This was their fate". At that Elijah points his gun to his head in response to this, Jack said, "See if that's yours." Elijah replied, saying, "My blood will be on your hands. You will have sinned".

Jack slowly walked towards Elijah to try and make him let go of the gun, as he did so he said, "All you ever wanted was power and control. You have that now. Now go ahead. Be a martyr. Killing yourself makes you a sinner in the eyes of your followers, and you don't want that. Elijah, give me the gun. Let go of the gun". At that, Elijah lets go of the gun and surrenders.

______________________________________________________________

The case was finish, and they were on the way back home, everyone was asleep except for two certain agents. Clara took a seat in her usual chair at the wooden table and release a heavy sigh, then said, "That was one hell of a case". Jack hands her a mug of tea then took a seat right next to her and replied saying "Yeah, I have to agree with you on that." Clara then releases another heavy sigh before she took a bug gulp from her tea, then said, "It's always the ones you don't expect." Jack responded half teasingly, and half lovingly said, "That would be you sweetheart".

At that, Clara chuckles then with a smile on her face said, "Same with me, the last person I expect to do something is always you." her smile however disappeared as she turned to look intro the dark pool of her tea then back to Jack and said, "Do you think we should tell them?" finally addressing the elephant in the room. "About us, I mean." she clarifies since Jack was looking at her questioningly then he asked, "Where'd you get that from?" to which Clara replied saying, "Well ever since the accident at the train station I was almost 10% certain Mae was eyeing us".

At that, Jack sighed then said, "I feel like we should since there're gonna find out sooner or later." Clara nodded in response then said, "Yeah, I also feel like our luck is running out and something's gonna happen that'll be a factor for us telling them". Soon after saying that, Jack chuckles, then asked her, "What are you now, a psychic?". Clara herself couldn't help but let a laugh out and somehow managed to nudge him then said, "Hey, I'm just saying..." she wasn't able to finish what she was saying because a yawn escaped her lips then said, "You know what, I gonna head to the bunks and get some sleep before we land. You coming?". At that Jack nodded and said, "Yeah, I think we both deserve it, especially after the case we just had." Clara quickly left to return the mug she used to the cabinet and quickly came back to see Jack still there. As they walked to the bunks, she felt his arm wrapping around her waist.

______________________________________________________________

As Jack was headed towards the elevator, he saw his sister. Before he could ask what she was doing there, she said, "I saw the news. I thought you could use a hug sooner than later." then gave his a reassuring embrace with Jack simply saying "Thanks."and Karen replied saying, "Thank God you found them". As they parted, they saw Clara and Emma join them. Clara greets her with a smile and says, "Hey Karen." then said as they parted, You know, some of them didn't want to leave. They devoted their lives to that man." she responded, shaking her head, and said, "I have to believe they'll find a safer place to live".

When they heard footsteps, they turned to see who it was. They turned to see Ryan, who said, "I saw you guys landed. Great job." then patted Emma on the shoulder to snap her out of her 'trans'. At that, Emma smiled and looked up at her older brother and said, "Thanks". "Are you headed off?" Jack asked, to which Ryan simply said, "Yeah" at that Clara said, "Like father, like son". Ryan smiled at his mom's comment, then said, "I guess this case means R.J. doesn't stand a chance for his Dominican Republic trip." Karen turned to her nephew a little surprised then asked, "He hit you up, too?" to which he nodded then said,"Yeah. For what it's worth, he is way more driven than I was at his age, and he is a smart kid".  Jack nodded and said, "Yeah, I know. Guess I have, uh, have to have a little more faith that he'll be all right." the second she heard that, Clara turned to her husband and asked, "Is that a "yes"?" Jack replied saying, "He's brave. I'm the one who's scared, so I can't let that get in his way. ". "Nice, Dad. He's gonna be stoked." Ryan replied.

After a few beats, Karen looking questioningly at her brother and nephew asked, "Did you two make calls? You have connections in the Dominican Republic." as Jack responded simply saying "yeah" as the five of them entered the elevator, then added saying, "Well... we know a few guys." to which both Karen and Clara nodded as the elevator doors closed.

______________________________________________________________

IRT fam (without mom and dad)

11:57 p.m.

Mae: hey guys

Monty: wtf Mae it's almost 12 am

Isa: Sheesh Mae couldn't you chose anytime but you chose NOW

       when almost everyone in the gc is suppose to be sleeping and when I'm suppose to be reviewing.

Mae: melodramatic much

Isa: {Florida and Louisiana; woooooooow.gif}

Mae: uuuummmm sorry?

Emma: Mae why are you messaging in this gc when it's almost a quarter past 12 anyways?

Mae: oh hey Emma

Emma: don't

             what do you even want to talk about that is so urgent yet don't want dad and

Isa: Em what is she talking about?

Monty: Mae me and Isa are clueless about what you're talking about

Matt: uh guys why are you talking in this group chat at quarter part 12 in the morning

Isa: Oh hey Matt. To answer your answers, first Mae started this crap, second we have no freaking clue why she did or even what the heck she's talking about.

Emma: uuuummmm Mae?

Mae: yeah?

Emma: are you talking about what happened at the train station?

Mae: YES

Monty: uuuuhhh what are you guys talking about I'm clueless

Isa: Same but I have a feeling this happened while me and Matt were talking to the conductor

Matt: Mae just spill it so we don't have to play the guessing game

Mae: okay fine

            so as Isa guessed this happened while she and Matt were talking to the conductor and me, Emma, and Clara were getting off the train after we finished on victimology.

            Clara got of first and as she was taking the last step and trip

Matt: was she okay?

Emma: she's fine thankfully dad caught her before she could fall right on her face

Isa: Oh.My.Gulay is this why you're chatting us this late Mae?!

Mae: I would've asked how you mean that but I've known you long enough to know now

Monty: can we get back on track please? I really want to get this over with and go to sleep

Mae: sorry

            anyways to a normal person it wouldn't have seen more than a friend helping another friend

Isa: buuuut

but as a profiler you/I see more than that

Emma: WTF MAE

            ARE YOU IMPLYING THAT MY DAD AND AUNT CLARA ARE TOGETHER

Mae: uuuuuummmm yes???

Isa: Okay that's it I'm out. I don't wanna handle this crap anymore. I just wanna go to sleep.

Emma: same

Monty: yes please

Matt: yeah

Mae: ouch

Isa: MAE PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF CHIKAHAN DON'T. WE CAN PICK THIS UP TOMORROW.

______________________________________________________________

Aaaaaaand that's the end of the chapter. I decided to add the group chat thing as I was supposed to finish editing this fic but I got inspired by the fic "Sibling Chats" by JWritesFanAccount on AO3 and decided instead of making it an entire other fic I decided to add it to the end of each chapter and have the rest of the team (Isa and Emma included) talk about Jack/Clara or as I'll start referring (maybe) to them Jara (I know bad but it's the only thing I got rn). As for why Emma addressed Clara as "aunt" and not just buy her first name or accidentally slip and say/type "mom" while talking with everyone (minus her parent) is because technically they're off-duty and that's all I'm gonna say.

I would also like to add that from now on I'd like you guys to know that updates will be irregular because I'm still a student.

#criminal minds beyond borders #jackxclara #jack garrett #clara seger #mae jarvis #matt simmons #emma garrett #isabella “isa” eleanor garcia (oc) #alternate universe #canon divergence #the IRT as a family #the IRT was never disband #family #friendship #flash backs to season 1 #but mainly set in season 2 #re-writing CMBB #missing scenes #cross posted on fanfiction.net and ao3 #before/during/after 2x01 #aka Lost Souls #aka the ep where they went to Tanzania #bring back criminal minds beyond borders #fanfiction #fanfic #cmbb

[feline-evil]

Never gonna be over how unutterably pathetic and in dire need of ANY kind of companionship or friendship that doesn't revolve around their band the entirety of dethklok are. I love these horrible idiots who are so devoid of any real connections outside of themselves that they will latch onto anyone unfortunate enough to get too close to any one of them! And GOD help anyone they latch onto!!

#jay talkin #metalocalypse #im thinking about the doubles episode where they just seem genuinely happy to have 'friends' #who arent like. industry people. these men are so starved of any kind of connection #and it takes them four seasons a rock opera and a movie to realise they can find that in each other lmao #also thinking about how quickly any of them bond and become really intense abt anyone in their life #aka: NATHAN TOWARDS ABIGAIL. oh dear poor abigail oh dear #but also toki to damn near anyone and this goes for the entire band tbh as well they all do this at least once #and yeah its mainly cuz 10min eps mean u gotta progress stuff fast #but also holy shit. charles these boys want friends so bad u gotta set em up on playdates or smth #maybe it'd get some of their dumb stupid idiot energy out and they'd be better behaved. well. no they wldnt but... u can dream #i do think theres smth to be said that yeah all of dethklok are cool theyre metal superstars they r good at what they do #theyre also fucking prophesised saviours too and theyre also incredibly dangerous idiots and terrible ppl #but never forget that they are also. so so SO pathetic and isolated and dysfunctional #these men have not lived in the real world in decades and are disconnected and unsocial and spoilt and u can see that this does impact #the way they interact w the world! they need like. anything other than the band in their lives hah. they do need to pal around #im glad they find that in each other eventually!! #i dont want 2 sound like im babying them or infantilising them these r grown asshole idiot men but like. listen these shitheards r lonelyyy #everyone in their lives is like. assigned to be there and is set as beneath them in a class and workbased system #they dont rlly have ppl who r just there cuz they like em. outside of fans. and fans arent rlly a real connection yknow #their only connections come via work networking sex and violence and worship baby!!!! its fucked up!

[thebadtimewolf]

btw in case yall want my free af hbo/itv/sky atlantic i hate suzie s1 icons, here are the links on mobile:

ep. 1 and 2 | ep. 3 and 4 | ep. 5 and 6 | ep. 7 and 8

its just season 1 icons, im working on season 2 icons this year

#bw: out of ethos #bw: munedits #ihatesuzieedit #tv: i hate suzie #a: billie piper #dir: billie piper #dir: lucy prebble #billiepiperedit #emmasmithinedit #a: emma smithin #a: katy trafford #katytraffordedit #a: molly jackson shaw #mollyjacksonshawedit #c: suzie pickles #{emma reprises her role as pre teen suzie in season 2 via flashback} #{thats why she is tagged because season 1 was mainly teen suzie with guest stars of the other bby suzies} #bw: reference #{the only reason why their name is there is because i forgot to add it to the previous sets that they are in}

[dip-the-stick]

All my knowledge of stranger things comes from you and the five long paragraphs my sister texted me last month about what was happening

you're welcome and im so so sorry. i hope she let you know there are characters other than steve eddie and dustin bc i rlly just talk abt them most of the time lmao

#my blorbos steve eddie and dustin (mainly eddie) #i think this is the most ive ever talked abt fandom stuff on tumblr #like this this hyperfixation hit my like a bag of bricks and happened at the exact point that i lost my shame abt posting abt the things i #enjoy on tumblr dot com #actually very greatful that mha didnt do this to me but honestly this isnt much better #at least im being critical and analyzing media tho!! growth!! #asks #anyways im posting abt them bc im rewatching season 4 for the 3rd time while my parents catch up to watch vol 2 #vol2 wasted so much good gay potential that was set up in vol 1 ://// #izzy!!

[petergabrielyuri]

I like good omens season 2. I like it visually, i think it's pretty funny at times, and I really really like the character arcs and personal conflicts in it, the ones that build inside crowley and aziraphale throughout the season and come to a head in the finale.

However there is a lot of stuff I find dumb about it. I think the actual plot of it was like a little bit lame and stagnant at times. There was a bit of dumb writing and weird things that happened that kinda made no sense blah blah blah. Mainly I think the bookshop fight scene in episode 6 was goofy as hell. The demons didn't do anything at all they just creeped menacingly up the stairs. Why didnt they like actually attack him lol they just walked towards him

#aziraphale going to edinburgh to look for clues about gabriel didn't lead to anything for him #it just set up stuff that would pay off for the viewers #but he didn't find anything out it was kinda dumb... #when saraqael showed crowley the trial.... why did they do that why would they show him confidential heaven plans?? #it just reads as an excuse to show the viewers it... #im just ranting a bit. i did really like this season #mainly for the emotional conflicts and stuff #the conflict between aziraphale and crowley is soooo juicy i want to bite it #the contrast between their characters and motivations is so good im so invested #i think the emotional and subtextual story it told was way more interesting than the actual one it did #i love nina and maggie and i think i would like them more if the plot didnt revolve around forcing them together idk #my post #good omens season 2 #good omens spoilers

[abbyshands]

THE LAST OF US, and the israeli themes surrounding it

i'm very glad that people were able to see one of the previous things i published, where i complied a series of links that you can use to learn more of what's going on in gaza, how you can help, places you need to boycott, etc. however, at the end of the post, there is a large part of it that is DIRECTLY meant for people who play or watch the last of us, or play the last of us 2.

the last of us 2 in specific is not at all elusive in displaying the chilling themes we are seeing before us today. what boggles my mind, is that a select few individuals are choosing to keep publishing fics, reblogging them, uploading content that has NOTHING to do with what's going on, etc. also, you can't reblog one thing about palestine and claim that you care, then flood your account or people's home pages in fanfiction, especially during a media blackout. it just doesn't work like that.

i took the time to make a post discussing all of the israeli/palestinian themes that the games as a whole, but mainly the second one, display. if you are my mutual, a friend, a fan of my work, or a fan of the game or show, then i 100% demand you read this. if you can read fics for hours, you can spend time to read a post discussing the universe those very fics came from.

a lot of us are now aware of the last of us's nature in regards to the ongoing genocide, but not many people know the specifics of it. after seeing this post last night (the person who made this, you are an angel), i decided to take the time to dive into the specifics of the last of us 2's israeli nature, on a logical level, but also a moral level, using a list of sources to help me along, which will be linked at the end of this post. i will link the sources along the way so you know which sources i got my information from.

regardless of if this changes anyone's mind about ignoring the media blackout, or not giving a fuck about what's going on period, know this: regardless of how you feel, regardless of what you believe, from the river to the see, palestine will be free. at this fucking point, the people who are on the right side will keep speaking out and spreading awareness, regardless if you are here to do it with us. that's it. now, let's get into this.

UPCOMING DISCUSSIONS: neil druckmann, the last of us 1, the last of us 2, the last of us show and zionism in the show's cast, boycotting the game and show, and conclusion

NEIL DRUCKMANN

45-year-old neil druckmann, who was the co-director and co-writer for the last of us 2, was born in tel aviv, israel in 1978. according to the above source, druckmann was raised in a settlement in the west bank, where he was surrounded by violence on a daily basis. comics, movies, and most of all, video games, became an escape for him as a child, before he and his family moved to miami, floridawhen he was 10 years old.

to water down the full story that you can, again, read here, druckmann went to college to major in criminology. however, when he was in college, druckmann took a compsci course, that later lead to his major becoming coding as opposed to criminology. soon after, he knew he wanted a career that related to one thing: video games.

in the summer of 2013, the last of us part 1 was released, and it was renowned as one of best video games to have ever been made. in 2020, druckmann and nd released the last of us part 2, followed by the 2022 release of HBO's show based on the first video game. druckmann played a huge part on set, being not only the co-creator and co-writer of the show, but also having directed an episode himself. druckmann will remain involved in the second season of the show.

bringing up neil druckmann’s background is a crucial aspect of what’s upcoming in this post, hence why i wanted to discuss it at all. druckmann growing up in israel is one of the sole reasons the last of us was ever made at all, and not only that: it is the reason why the second game is the way it is, because neil druckmann planted his israeli ideologies right into it.

so, let’s speak on it.

THE LAST OF US 1

on the official the last of us podcast, neil druckmann himself discussed the last of us' link to the israeli-palestinian conflict, and now, genocide. the general consensus was that people will go ridiculously far for the people that they love. this idea of druckmann's was revealed when he discussed the first time the main character of the first game, joel miller, kills somebody to keep his daughter, sarah, safe from harm. this is one of the first scenes in the game prior to the time jump, where the pair's neighbor becomes infected, and attacks them. joel uses a gun to kill him so that the neighbor doesn't harm sarah.

the following is a quote i would like to copy from this link word for word: "Druckmann said he follows "a lot of Israeli politics" and compared the incident to Israel's release of hundreds of Palestinians prisoners in exchange for the captured Israeli soldier Gilad Shalit in 2011."

the plot of the first game, as neil druckmann explained, is based around a moral dilemma. he discusses how if joel had to kill a man to save a random kid, would he have done it? druckmann himself says, "but when it was his tribe, his daughter, there was no question about what he was going to do."

while the first game, in my opinion, isn't as heavily centered around israeli themes as the second game is, regardless, it is heavily crucial to note that the basis of the first game derived from a real-life incident involving israel and palestine, where hundreds of palestinian people (edit: i believe it is more than 1,000) were released from imprisonment, all in exchange for one israeli soldier. in the second game, the israeli-palestinian themes, if you look closely enough, scream out at you.

let's talk about it.

THE LAST OF US 2

"There is a common saying that if you seek revenge, you should dig two graves. Playing The Last of Us Part II is like being made to dig those graves with your teeth (Zacny)."

nd's 2022 the last of us part II is described down to the last letter in the above quote, albeit the game's utterly obvious israeli nature. in this post, the creator, rob zacny, goes on to discuss the game's theme of a "cycle of violence," and how the game reminds you in each grotesque encounter of the cruel ideology behind that. due to what occurs in the last of us 1, joel, basically, reaps what he sows when he is murdered for killing a surgeon who, along with the group said surgeon was a member of, the fireflies, was planning to perform surgery on ellie, who joel had since grown close to, in search of a cure for the infection that has plagued their world for decades. four years later, the second playable character in the game, who is introduced in the first half hour or so, abby anderson, kills joel to avenge the surgeon who was murdered, who happened to be her father. from then on, the game follows what, again, can only be described as a "cycle of violence." joel kills abby's dad, abby kills joel, ellie kills all of abby's friends, aims to kill abby in the final battle of the game, but spares abby when ellie's conscious morally attacks her for her decisions.

throughout the 24 odd hour gameplay, the player is allowed to play as ellie and abby, abby's parts of the game being arguably longer than ellie's. the idea this, i believe, is meant to introduce, is one of perspective: the player is meant to be loyal to joel miller once the first game has been finished, so when he is killed, they are inclined to make abby pay for it. however, abby's perspective, both in the past and as the present course of the game goes on, is meant to make the player understand why she did what she did. thus, the moral: there are no good guys in this game. every person is as equally bad as the following, and no one is innocent. however, when we consider the israeli-palestinian nature of this ideology and how it is presented in the last of us part 2, it simply doesn't work like this.

“I suspect that some players, if they consciously clock the parallels at all, will think The Last of Us Part II is taking a balanced and fair perspective on that conflict, humanizing and exposing flaws in both sides of its in-game analogues. But as someone who grew up in Israel, I recognized a familiar, firmly Israeli way of seeing and explaining the conflict which tries to appear evenhanded and even enlightened, but in practice marginalizes Palestinian experience in a manner that perpetuates a horrific status quo (Maiberg).”

when discussing the last of us part 2’s plot, one could 100% argue that there really aren’t good guys on the dual sides of the game. if you compare ellie and abby, you know that ellie went on a murder frenzy to get revenge on abby for killing joel. on abby’s side of it all, you know that abby wasn’t all that great before coming across lev and yara, and even then, she killed people to do what everyone in said world aims to do: survive. prior to finding lev and yara, abby had killed numerous people before, and did, as the player sees, handle joel very cruelly before she ended up killing him. here’s one more example, one that’s more random (but it’s simply to compare abby vs. ellie’s people, if you will): joel and manny. joel went on a cross country murder spree to keep ellie safe, and killed a building full of people at the end of the game to save her life. in regards to manny, if you recall a discussion that manny and mel had in the beginning of abby’s parts of the game, the pair are discussing a happening where a group aside from the wlf, the seraphites (which we will discuss later) attacked them because the wlf killed children who were a part of their (the seraphite’s) group. manny voiced how he would prefer to keep their people (the wlf) safe, and challenges mel, implying that those “kids” weren’t really kids, because they were the ones who attacked their guys (the wlf) in the first place. as a general consensus, manny kills several people throughout the course of the game, which can be inferred or seen by the player, making him, for the sake of what i’m getting at, a bad guy.

we see in the game how ellie and abby’s people are unanimously bad. the last of us is set in a world where laws and morals are thrown out the window for the sake of survival, so this is no surprise. however, this dual perspective, “no bad guy,” ideology simply doesn’t apply in the world today. you may compare ellie vs. abby, or joel vs. manny, or bring in more characters in the game, such as tommy, nora, etc, claiming that all parties are bad. that makes perfect sense. but think about it like this: if this is meant to represent the israeli-palestinian perspective, and i give you the scenario of a five-year-old child versus a full-grown IDF soldier, what would you say? isn’t there an obvious answer as to who is in the wrong and who’s not? maiberg is 100% right in claiming that the game marginalizes the real-life palestinian experience. abby, ellie, joel, manny, etc, are not real people. but the thousands of innocent children who have been killed for the ridiculousness and inhumane israeli regime are. you can’t say each side is equal in awfulness, not when one side is full of innocent men, women, and children, some of which could never make it into a year of their lives. not when if one side pauses their battle, there would be a ceasefire, but if the converse pauses their battle, they would all be dead.

“And then they cheered afterward,” Druckmann, who grew up in Israel, recalls. “It was the cheering that was really chilling to me. … In my mind, I thought, ‘Oh, man, if I could just push a button and kill all these people that committed this horrible act, I would make them feel the same pain that they inflicted on these people.’"

remember how i said discussing neil druckmann's background was crucial? it is. druckmann, who, again, was born in israel, told the Washington Post that the game's cynical themes of revenge and suffering is linked to the 2000 killing of two israeli soldiers (tw, lynching), who were killed by a mob (maiberg). allegedly, some of the incident was remembered in film, that druckmann watched, and in his interview, he explained his angry nature that came about in response to the video, and how he desired vengeance.

the last of us part 2 is mainly set in seattle, washington, where secondary main character, abby anderson, resides in with a militia group named the wlf (which we will also delve into later, alongside the seraphites). maiberg brings out how seattle, on a visual and mechanical level, is based around "a series of checkpoints, security walls, and barriers (Maiberg)." he notes: "[seattle] looks almost exactly like the tall, precast concrete barriers and watch towers Israel started building through the West Bank in 2000." here are side by side images for comparison:

now that we’ve discussed this, let us discuss one of most prevalent aspects of abby’s part of the story: the wlf, and the seraphites. the seraphites are a religious group, nicknamed “the scars” due to the scars the members of said group carve into their faces to display their membership, who the wlf, a makeshift militia group, runs into conflict with following the fall of FEDRA, the country’s former military. in a note in the game, a fedra commander explains that the city of seattle has been lost to the wolves (the wlf), who he names as terrorists. maiberg brings out the following: “Here, there are parallels to early Zionist organisations that fought British rule in the region. These organizations were also described as terrorists, and leaders of those organizations later became leaders in Israel, much like how Isaac, the leader of the Wolves, came to control Seattle. Other in-game notes, scenes of urban ambushes, and the bodies of executed FEDRA officers laboriously walk the player through the cliche "one man's terrorist is another man's freedom fighter (Maiberg).”

maiberg also discusses a series of manners in which the fictional seraphites resemble real-life palestinians. here are the three ways he specifically discusses in his original post, but there are much more:

“The same note from the Seattle FEDRA commander that bitterly says the Wolves are in charge explains that it's now their responsibility to not only feed and shelter the people of Seattle, but deal with the "religious fanatics," referring to the Scars.

Later in the game, Ellie finds a location called "Martyr Gate," where the Scars' spiritual leader apparently died, indicating a religious significance of a specific and disputed location, and emphasizing the notion of martyrdom as central to their culture.

The Scars are able to get around Wolf patrols and various barriers around the city via an elaborate, secret system of bridges between skyscrapers. These function as a kind of flipped version of the underground tunnels Palestinians use to bypass Israeli blockades and other means of limiting free movement in order to get supplies and carry out attacks on Israel.”

one more post i would like to link is this one, the very reason i decided to make this in the first place. it captures the zionism in the last of us 2, along with the wlf vs. seraphite conflict, perfectly. i very much recommend you read it, as it explains it much better than i can.

the general consensus is this: the idea that the seraphites are equally as bad as the wlf, which implies that palestinians are equally as bad as israelis, simply doesn’t apply in 2024. as i said before: what is so vile and cruel about a newborn baby? a pregnant woman? an innocent man? NOTHING. part of the reason the last of us captures this so poorly is due to the apocalyptic nature of the world the game is set in. obviously, people would go rogue if their lives were put in peril by not only animalistic infected beings, but also humans. however, we live in a real world where laws and morals do, in fact, apply. this isn’t a video game where those are simply discarded. what the wlf and the seraphites did to each other in the last of us 2 could be any other day for them: but what israel is doing to palestine right now is a war crime, a genocide, and plainly vile.

THE LAST OF US SHOW, and zionism in the show’s cast

i don’t think i need to spend a lot of time here, because if you have made it this far, you are well aware of the real nature of the last of us and the last of us 2 already, so you must understand that the show is HBO’s take on the game’s story (which, need i remind you show-wise and game-wise, neil druckmann played a huge part in). i simply bring it up so that people are aware of the fact that the 2022 show is ALSO linked to the ongoing genocide, and the cast is a major part of that (however, if anyone would like me to delve deeper into the show, let me know, and i 100% will).

for the following season which is a sequel to the last, theorized to center around the happenings of the last of us 2, members who are set to play a few crucial characters in the game have been announced. this includes isabela merced, who will play dina woodward, ellie’s romantic partner for most of the game, alongside kaitlyn dever, who will play abby anderson.

many people freaked out when they realized kaitlyn dever will be playing abby, but not for the reason they should have been. if you are a last of us fan, you are well aware that abby’s muscles are a central aspect of her persona. yet, kaitlyn dever is on the skinnier side, and according to some, does not resemble abby.

but this is not the issue that is most crucial to discuss.

kaitlyn dever is a zionist, and so is isabela merced (i am under the impression that both of these claims are true, but i had trouble finding a source i deemed reliable enough to link here. if i do, however, i will). now, while i’m not here to riddle you with conspiracy theories, people believe this (zionism) is the reason kaitlyn dever in specific got the role of abby anderson (there is a separate actress, shannon berry, who more closely resembles abby, but made a post in solidarity with palestine. this is theorized to be the reason why she didn’t get the part, and why kaitlyn dever was announced shortly after this particular actress made said post). let us not also forget that ellie’s actor, bella ramsey, is also in support of israel, which can be seen here.

(edit: i was informed since making this that bella has a story on one of their social medias, showing their alleged support of palestine and calling for a ceasefire. i’m going to link this post where i spoke on it, so you aware of what i think on that front).

all of the previously provided information brings me to my final part of this post: boycotting the games, and boycotting the show.

BOYCOTTING THE GAME AND SHOW

i could go on and on about why this is so crucial, but we would be here forever. however, i’m going to paste in what i wrote in this post surrounding the topic of boycotting, as i personally believe i got it down quite well in regards to the last of us (the show and game). it reads:

"DO NOT BUY TLOU, TLOU REMASTERED, TLOU2, TLOU2 REMASTERED, OR ANY GAME FROM ND! neil druckmann has donated money to the IDF in the past. & where do you think he’s getting his money from? yeah, you got that. watch gameplays, pirate these games, or buy them secondhand. several shops sell used games. & for those of you who went and purchased the game anyway, knowing about all of this? fuck you.

if you think your $10 doesn’t matter, then think about this: okay, one person spends $10 on the game. whatever. but when 100,000 people do it? that’s a million dollars, going into the hands of a zionist, who is using YOUR money to help kill innocent men, women, and children. put that in your pipe and smoke it.

it is not just the games you need to boycott. HBO’S show also needs to be. follow this link to learn of more movies and shows you need to boycott, & the reasons why, including the last of us. let’s also not forget that dina & abby’s actresses are in support of israel, and BELLA RAMSEY, ellie’s actress, has also shown support.

boycott. the fucking. show. there are a million websites where you can pirate it, so you are not giving any of your support to it. resist."

what it comes down to is this: purchasing the game or watching the show directly from nd or HBO is not a must. spreading awareness and speaking out about palestine is. you are more than capable of not purchasing the game, or watching playthroughs, or buying the game secondhand, etc. you are more than capable of pirating the hbo show so that money is not made off of your engagement. it's not that difficult. i have said it once, and i will say it again: boycotting is a form of resistance, and that is the least we can do for those suffering in gaza as you read this. resist. people openly admitting that they went and purchased the game anyway simply make me sick. i hope you know what an awful thing to brag about that is, and how despicable of a human it makes you.

CONCLUSION

there's so much to discuss when it comes down to this topic, and it's possible that in the future, i will make a second part to this. however, for now, i really hope this does suffice. i believe knowing of the game's israeli nature is a step. but knowing the specifics is a leap, one that i need everyone engaged in this fandom to take, hence why i wanted to make this post at all.

i'm not saying anyone needs to quit liking the games or the show or whatever. i'm not saying you need to delete or throw away a game you spent $60 on. i've seen so many people who are way too dense to understand that. what i'm saying is that it's crucial you are at least AWARE of the content you are consuming. aware of why it even came about at all.

in my opinion, you can't separate the game from the roots. but you can remain aware of the inner workings of this world you've grown to love. you can keep spreading awareness about it, and you can do right by the people in gaza by discussing the ongoing genocide, and using your voice as much as you can.

i'm so lucky to have been able to gain a following on here in such a short amount of time, even if that following has gone up and down because i've chosen to post more about palestine as opposed to my previous content (granted, that fact won't deter me at all). i will keep using said following to keep speaking out for the people in gaza, and i encourage you to do the same. keep reblogging. keep speaking up. keep using your voices. the people in gaza need us. be there for them.

FROM THE RIVER TO THE SEA, PALESTINE WILL BE FREE 🇵🇸🍉.

LINKS AND RESOURCES:

neil druckmann | the official the last of us podcast | the not so hidden israeli politics of the last of us 2, by emanuel maiberg (i highly recommend you read the full post. it discusses several crucial details i didn't discuss in this post) | galid shalit prisoner exchange | Neil Druckmann Speaking on the Washington Post | 2000 killing of two israeli soldiers (TW: LYNCHING) | 'The Last of Us Part II' Is a Grim and Bloody Spectacle, but a Poor Sequel | Veiling Colonial Violence: The Last of Us Part II, Israel and the Erasure of Power (full disclosure, i did not read the full post. i merely needed the quote in the very beginning of it) | zionism in tlou2 | isabela merced | kaitlyn dever | bella ramsey's support of israel

PALESTINE LINKS

—

#ellie williams #abby anderson #the last of us #the last of us 2 #tlou #tlou2 #ellie williams x reader #abby anderson x reader #the last of us remastered #the last of us 2 remastered #joel miller #joel miller x reader #ellie tlou #tlou ellie #abby tlou #tlou abby #joel tlou #tlou joel #palestine #gaza #free palestine #free gaza

[somegirlblr]

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#Finished Witcher season 2 for the third time today #Didn't get much more out of it than the second #Mainly that they really didn't introduce the Emier identity mystery well at all #They had one scene where a guy says his identity is unknown #And then the information dealer scene is in a different episode #I basically missed it on my first watch #If they had put these two next to each other I might have gotten it #You can only do an identity reviel once so why would you set it up in a way people will miss on first watch

[helen-with-an-a]

I need to be perfect

Hi. So I kinda don't like this, but I kinda do at the same time, and I wasn't quite sure how to end it. It was also a really good request so I might use the prompt again in another way. Anyways, I hope you enjoy.

Barca Femeni x Reader ; Alexia Putellas x Reader (Platonic)

Description: R needs to be perfect and doesn't know how to stop.

Word Count: 2.4k

“When I say ‘jump’, you say ‘how high, coach?’ Got it?” The overweight, middle-aged man with an awful comb-over had shouted to you when you were just 9 years old. His methods were basically abuse, but he produced superstars. And that is what you were going to be. A superstar. It didn’t help that you already had perfectionist tendencies, and your parents were pushy – always expecting brilliance. No, not even brilliance. The best, you had to be the best. Perfect. Flawless. Faultless. Textbook. There was no other choice.

It was no surprise that Barca had come knocking when you were barely 16. You had mixed emotions: elation that Barcelona wanted you, happiness that you could leave the cruel atmosphere you lived in, fear that you weren’t as good as they may have thought, and nervousness that you needed the horrendous conditions to thrive.

Again. More. That wasn’t good enough. You’re not trying. You need to be better. Again. Again. Again.

You had seen the media asking how Barcelona could have signed a 16-year-old rising young talent from a lower league club. The world expected you to be great, Barca expected you to be great, and your parents expected you to be great.

But you didn’t feel great. Not at first. You had turned up to pre-season and noticed how far behind you were from your teammates. You hadn’t considered that it was because they were almost double your age and had been at the club or other high-level ones for years. You were struggling slightly to get the drills – Catalan was the preferred language, and you were still barely competent in Spanish. When the season started, you weren’t used as a sub very much, making your debut in November about 85 minutes into the match. You didn’t get your first start of the season until February. You had gone from being the best in the team at your old club to being a mere blip on the team sheet.

You are useless. You can’t even make it as a sub? You are a waste of time and money. All the effort we spent on you.

Your parents weren’t helping the situation. You already had the voice in your head telling you you weren’t good enough, and the constant barrage of texts, voicemails, and phone calls after another match where you weren’t used was starting to get to you.

So, you started to push yourself. After a season of being on the sidelines too much, you knew you needed to start working harder. You didn’t realise that Jonatan had been hoping to use this first year to let you get accustomed to Spain, the style of play and build your fitness. At first, it was nothing major. You stayed late a few days a week to work on drills, set pieces and technical skills. But then it was staying late every day you had training. And then coming in early. And then you began to run to training, leaving your bags in the locker room overnight for you to go and get changed. And then you began to run back from training, too. And then you added extra at-home workouts (nothing too crazy in the beginning; mainly yoga that turned into Pilates, which turned into an additional 2 hours of bodyweight exercises). For some strange reason, you had been allowed to live by yourself. You think that it was because so many of the girls lived nearby. Ingrid and Mapi lived in the same building as you. Lucy lived on the same road as you, as did Keira, Ona and Aitana. Alexia lived less than a ten-minute walk away, and you were within easy driving distance of everyone else. But because you lived alone, no one noticed how much you were putting your body through, even on your days off and mid-season breaks.

But the hard work was paying off. You started the next season well; pre-season had gone fantastically, and your name appeared on the Starting XI for the first match of the season. It stayed there throughout the year. You had also broken into a constant starter for your national team.

Again. Again. Again. Be better. Do better. Worthless. Poor. Again. Again

You couldn’t see a problem with it. You were fast, strong, technical, good, and great. You were going on two years at Barca, thriving, and playing your best football. You were barely 18, yet you had already been nominated for the Ballon d’Or. Everything was brilliant football-wise. You had to keep going. You couldn’t stop.

Do better. Awful. Again. Be better. Shocking. Rubbish. Useless. Horrible. Again

It was your day off after an intense few weeks when the truth came crashing to the ground. The Champions League had started up again, and a series of away games took place in a short space of time. It was hard with long days away from the comfort of your own home, and your daily routine was not helping the situation. Everyone could tell you weren’t ok – but they assumed it was from the travel. Lucy had picked up a cold or something, Keira was tired, Aitana and Pina were a little achy, and Alexia and Frido were more vigilant over the needs of their bodies. Everyone was exhausted. But you had to keep going. You couldn’t stop.

In your constant pressure to improve, you failed to notice Alexia’s troubled stares, Marta’s questioning looks, Patri’s concerned glances, and Irene’s worried gazes. They knew how hard you pushed yourself … almost. They knew you stayed every day after training, and they were a little concerned. But they didn’t know the extent of it. Not in the slightest.

It was El Clasico. Real Madrid vs Barcelona. A historic rivalry. You wanted nothing more than to lie down and sleep until May, but that wasn’t an option. Everything was fine. You were on the score sheet, winning and playing great football. And then Athenea slid in for a tackle, catching you on your ankle in precisely the wrong spot. You tried (successfully) not to cry, but you couldn’t help the pained gasp that escaped your mouth. Alexia had been by your side instantly, ushering the medics over and holding you in place with her Captain’s stare.

“It’s your ankle, sí?” Alexia knew it was a matter of time before an injury came for you. If only she had stepped in sooner and helped you from overworking yourself. She helped you to your feet and walked you to the dugout.

“What? No! Ale, I’m fine. See,” You stood on your sore foot to prove your point. It hurt like nothing else you’d experienced, but it was fine; you just needed to walk it off.

“No, you sit the rest of this game out, get re-assessed back home and then we see if you can play.” She said with a note of finality as you huffed, turning around and walking off before you could comment.

Terrible. Awful. Be better. Dreadful. Terrible. Hopeless. Incompetent.

You knew it was silly. Your ankle was not ok, but you needed to train. It had been 2 days since El Clasico, and you were forced not to train yesterday, but it had been a travel day, so there wasn’t much you could do. It would be fine; you had trained on injuries before. You had waited until you knew the team would be out on the pitch as you snuck into the gym. Your ankle was heavily taped, but that was fine. You could put some pressure on it – that was all you needed.

You were determined to get at least a little run in. Just a gentle jog, really, barely above walking. Just a quick 5km. Nothing too crazy. You couldn’t afford to stop training, not after everything you have worked for. With your face in a determined expression and the idiocy of a terrified teenager, you got to work. You started on the bike. The movement was a little painful, but it raised your heart rate and got blood flowing. As you moved across the equipment, the door to the gym flew open.

“Qué crees que estás haciendo?” Alexia roared, making you jump out of your skin. Your first thought was that you hadn’t spent enough time on the bike, that she was angry at you for not working hard enough. For stopping. For taking a breather. “You are injured! Why the fuck are you not resting?” Alexia stormed over to you – she seemed angry. Her eyebrows were furrowed, her eyes were dark and stormy, and her mouth was a hard line. She was angry at you. Why was she telling you to rest? Rest? You couldn’t rest. You had to be better. Keep working harder. Push yourself to be the best.

“I …” You couldn’t answer her, you couldn’t make her angrier. You couldn’t disappoint her. “I’m sorry. I just needed some water. I’m starting again in a minute.” You rushed to get your explanation to her. She needed to know you weren’t stopping. You were just moving to a different exercise. You weren’t slacking.

“Again? What have you done already?” She wasn’t calming down. If anything, you were making her angry. With the lack of sleep, the mental exhaustion, the injury, it was becoming too much for you. Tears clouded your vision, Alexia becoming foggy as you tried to stop the emotions from bubbling up.

“I was just moving from the bike. I’ll start running now. I’m sorry. I’m not stopping, I promise.” You were a mess as you moved to start the treadmill.

Alexia stopped to look at you. Really, look at you. Your tired eyes, your dark circles and your sickly skin. The fatigue was evident in the way you stood; your body seemed too heavy for you to hold up. You also looked terrified. She couldn’t work out why, though. Yes, she was angry. A trainer had come into the medical room wondering who had cleared you for exercise. Alexia knew no one had done so; they had told her after the match that it would be 2 weeks or so before you could rejoin training at any level (after the string of injuries, the medical staff were also over-cautious in their assessments of minor injuries). So, she knew you were doing this against their advice. And that made her mad; it was one thing to push yourself in training despite coaches telling you not to overdo it but another to actively go against medical advice. But looking at you, she knew you hadn't asked for medical clearance. You were just a scared little girl.

“No, Chiquita. No, running.” Alexia was a lot calmer now, seeing your lip wobble and your eyes blink rapidly—clearly holding back tears.

“I have to. I can’t stop. I need to be better.” You whispered, ashamed of your perceived weaknesses.

“Cariño,” she cooed, reaching out to you. You flinched, not used to kind touches. Any touches you had received from coaches or captains were ones that would push you into running more, doing more drills, and practicing more set pieces. “Pequeña. You’re injured. You need to rest, mi amor.”

“I can’t rest. I need to train. I need to be better, do better.”

“No, Chiquita. You don’t. You need rest; you need to get well again.” Alexia stepped forward. She could see the war raging in your head – the desire to stop but the need to keep going. “Cariño?” Her kindness made you break. You launched yourself at her, arms wrapping around her neck as you cried into her. “Oh, amor. You’re ok. Está bien. Todo está bien. Prometo. Usted puede parar.” You sobbed into her shoulder, tears dampening her shirt as you howled. Everything was too much. You hurt, you needed to sleep, you wanted to stop, and yet you couldn’t. The voice in your head told you to keep going. Your parents and old coaches told you you weren’t allowed to stop. It was far, far, far too much for you.

“Neña, deep breaths. In … and out … vamos … in … and out.” Alexia instructed as you were becoming hysterical. She made her breaths exaggerated, slow and obvious, helping you to match hers. “Bien hecho, pequeña,” she pressed gentle kisses to your head as she eventually slowed down. “Y/N, I am not angry at you; no one is. But I need to know why you are in here and not at home resting.” Alexia implored, her hazel eyes looking directly at yours.

“I can’t stop,” you said meekly, slightly ashamed of your outburst.

“No entiendo. You can’t stop what?” She spoke slowly, like you would to a child or a scared animal.

“I can’t stop training. I need to be better. I need to do more,” you said, getting agitated—at her lack of understanding or at yourself. You weren’t quite sure.

“Amor, why do you need to be better?” Alexia was truly at a loss. You were so talented; you didn’t need to be better.

“Because everyone says so. They say so.” You looked so fragile and nervous, eyes darting around the room, your fingers twisting around each other.

“Who is ‘they’?”

“My parents … my old coaches.”

“Chiquita, listen to me. You do not need to be better. You are more than enough. You are so, so talented. You work so hard. But pushing yourself will not be good for you, the team, or anyone else. You need to rest, slow down, and allow your body to heal.”

With Alexia’s kind questioning, she soon got to the bottom of everything. You had told her about the harshness you had experienced from a young age, the disappointment and anger your parents had expressed during your first season at Barcelona, and the voice in your head telling you to keep pushing. She knew you had a way to go, but with gentle reminders and constant check-ins, you learnt how to quieten the voices. Training became easier, your home was no longer a place to get more workouts in, and you finally stopped listening to the devils in your life and started paying attention to the angels.

It wasn’t much, but it was a start. And that was all they could hope for.

I hope you enjoyed it. It was kinda short and I don't know if I really like the ending but yeh.

#barca femeni #barca femeni x reader #fc barcelona #woso blurbs #woso community #woso imagine #woso x reader #alexia putellas #alexia putellas x reader #woso fanfics #woso fluff #woso oneshot #woso #womens football #woso angst

[vettelsdarling]

Hiiii can I get a request for Lando basically a sunshine x grumpy where the reader is a new driver that wants 0 distractions and ruled out dating any drivers and so she gets along with everyone but is more distant with Lando because she knows if they get close she’ll fall in love with him but she can’t afford any distractions but he still puts in effort to get to know her and making her smile etc despite her pushing him away and they have this moment and idk you can finish it however you like plsss and thanks!

𝐈𝐧 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐒𝐥𝐢𝐩𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦

Lissie note… Hey there! This is a really cute idea, I love the thought of Lando pining!! Thank you for the creative freedom to finish it off however I feel!

Things to note:

This is set in the 2022 season, but not in the same timeline(?) you'll see

Reader isn’t completely new to Formula One, but it’s her first time on the grid as a driver (she’s been a reserve driver)

Reader is a few months/a year younger than Lando

Reader is a Red Bull driver

Pairing: Sunshine!Pining!Lando x Grumpy!Serious!Fem!Reader

Warnings: Some cursing, Pretty angsty, J*s Verstappen

Word Count: 6.5k+

Recommended playlists: 𝐀𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐭💔, 𝐅𝐥𝐮𝐟𝐟💗, 𝐋𝐍𝟒

Formula One. A bloodsport, really. Vicious and dangerous. Somehow you’d managed to rise through the ranks and get there. Even earning a place next to Max Verstappen, the second-youngest world champion. Christian Horner, your team boss, was the kind of person who nursed his drivers as if they were his own children. You yearned for the proud look on his face. Not just for him, but for yourself. 

Growing up in a middle-class family, you weren’t as privileged as other kids in karting. Your mother worked tirelessly to support you, whilst your father took you to each race. Now that you’d finally made it to Formula One, you wanted to do everything you could to pay them back. They had given the better part of their lives up so that you could live yours the way you desired.

Winning a championship in Formula One had always been a childhood dream of yours.

… and you were not about to give up on that dream anytime soon.

You, Max, and Horner had come to an agreement: Max would help you win as much as possible. Nobody and absolutely nobody was to get in your way. Max promised to make sure of that. Since you were younger than him, he treated you like a younger sister, whilst still treating you as an equal. Given the fact that he had a sister, he was great at it.

You were in your car. It was the first qualifying of the season, and you felt all of your nerves tense up. It was your first ever feel for Formula One besides sim racing. You’d been stuck as a reserve driver for nearly 2 years— safe to say, you were relieved to finally get a seat. Max and Lewis had just been dominating too much. However, this year was yours and yours alone. You were determined to shine, and you would take down anyone who so much as breathed a hint of threat your way.

You were released and you started your out lap. The tyres felt smooth and the car was completely in sync with you. It was nothing like sim racing, and nothing like Formula 2 either. You’d done practice runs several times before, but there was something about the real deal that elevated the experience that much more. You knew there was a lot of pressure on you for qualifying. Mainly due to the fact that Max had no way of helping you. It was every man for himself, and there was no way you were going to get kicked in Q1. 

“You doing alright?” You heard your engineer say. It made you get distracted, and you accidentally exceeded track limits.

“Well, now I’m not! Shut it, please.” Well, shit. You knew that blunder would be noted immediately. It was surely a deletion of your time. Therefore, you decided to push. Hard.

The next lap was a go, and you worked your way meticulously around every corner, hitting every apex just right. You were determined to make it into Q3. No matter what it took.

You got one final time in, and it was announced by your radio that you made it into Q2, placing P5. You weren’t the type to scream out with joy, so you merely thanked them for the notice.

Q2 began, and you barely made it through to Q3, placing P10.

What nobody expected was your spirit. If you wanted something, you were going to get it.

“Okay, we’ve notified Max that he should try to slow down a bit, to possibly get you a pole position. This way, we can also help you from behind in the race.” 

“Copy.” Your chest felt ticklish with adrenaline, and you pushed harder than before. You did everything you could. Your body felt as if it had been fused to the car. You were getting the fastest sector time left and right. It was exhilarating.

“That’s a pole! Great job! We did it!” Your engineer screamed into your ear with excitement. It was deafening, but that didn’t matter. It felt so good.

“Thanks for the help, guys.”

The front row consisted of you, Max, and Lando Norris; a driver from McLaren. You hadn’t really conversed with him much before. Except one time. Max had invited you to attend the end-of-year party a year back. Lando barely managed to introduce himself before he was interrupted by the Dutchman.

After Lando finished his interview, he moved back to where you were waiting patiently for your turn.

“I hear you’re into brunettes?” You were, but you hadn’t told anyone. Which could only have meant that it was his go-to pick-up line. Lame, if anything. 

“Did you also hear I’m into guys who don’t bother me?” It wasn’t a matter of teasing him or playing hard to get. You simply had no time for something as frivolous as dating on the grid. It was pointless and would only serve as a distraction when you had to stay focused.

“Cute.” It almost felt repulsive to hear him say that. You’d never really been in a relationship other than the many situation-ships you’d allowed yourself to fall victim to in your Formula 2 days.

When your turn finally came, you shook David’s hand with a smile. Adrenaline was still making its rounds throughout your system.

“You did an amazing job today, surely you must be excited!” David was such a gentle and warm soul, so you decided to lay off the colder side for a little.

“I feel amazing, really, I’m over the moon!” You grinned. He asked you some generic questions and you gave him appropriate responses for each.

“You’re the first woman in a long time to have raced in Formula One, you should be proud,” he finished off, before letting you go.

Max slung his arm over your shoulder as the two of you walked back to the Red Bull motorhome. Christian greeted you at the door on his way out, pulling you into a big bear hug and thanking Max for the sacrifice. The two of you made yourselves comfortable on the leather couches in front of the small flatscreen that was inside.

“Max, I really hope it’s okay for you to do all of this for me…” You looked over at Max who was scrolling through the channels.

“Of course, I’ll do it for you. We’re teammates. Besides, it would’ve been wrong if you weren’t talented and couldn’t actually take me on… but you can… so…” He started trailing off as he got a phone call. It seemed to be his father, so he immediately answered it. Of all feelings, you were definitely not surprised by the angry bickering coming from his father through the phone. The look on Max’s face was all but whipped with joy.

When the call ended, you tried to find the right words to comfort him. It was rather hard though, as you’d never really experienced his situation before.

“… I’m here if you want to talk about it?” That was really all you could offer. But your support meant everything to Max, who had made quite the impression on track. Fans saw him as a hot-headed brute, with nothing on his mind but winning.

“It’s okay. It wasn’t anything. Don’t worry about it.” His demeanour had completed a full 360°.

“Well, in any case, if you ever happen to need someone… you know I’ll always be right here.” Without warning, you pulled your brother figure into a warm hug, rubbing his back gently. You’d only ever met his dad a couple of times, but both times were horrible. The man was stone cold. He was intimidating to you.

To celebrate your pole in qualifying, Max had invited you out for dinner with a couple of friends. He said you knew who they were, but still, you felt off about it.

Your hair cascaded down upon your shoulders, masking your exposed collarbone from your little black dress. It was a simple dinner dress you’d brought along for the trip. Your makeup was light but accentuated your features to the fullest extent. Your shoes were designer and matched your padded Prada mini-bag. You threw on a black blazer to complete the look. Flawless.

Max had texted you the address of the restaurant along with the time. You jumped in a cab and gave the driver the information. The cab driver was chatty. He talked about his family, mentioning the fact that he had twin daughters who had just started middle school. You zoned out on the rest of his chatter though. The thoughts of dining with Max’s friends felt daunting somehow.

When you finally arrived, you were already late. You’d been too busy zoning out to notify your teammate. Upon walking in, you saw a fancy vined wall with several pictures of celebrities who’d visited the establishment. Amongst them was a picture of Max and the Brit who’d tried to hit on you. Lando Norris. A waiter approached you with a polite smile and a guest list.

“Oh, um… Max Verstappen?” You also made sure to mention your name so as to not stir any confusion or suspicions. You could’ve easily been mistaken for a fan.

“Right this way, miss.” He led you to a quiet room in the back. It was likely reserved for the restaurant’s VIPs. There you laid eyes on Max and Daniel Ricciardo… but Lando Norris too?! A wave of relief washed over you, as you realized you knew them somewhat.

“Max, you didn’t tell me she would be here?” Lando took the view in with delight, smirking as you noticed it. You rolled your eyes and took a seat beside Max. Unfortunately, that seat was across from curly-haired Brit. 

“It was a surprise. We’re actually celebrating her first pole today.”  You felt slightly embarrassed, almost like people singing you birthday songs.

“Max, isn’t this just rubbing another Red Bull win in our faces?” Asked Daniel. He was obviously joking, so you shot him a playful glare, chuckling shortly after.

After a while, Daniel and Max had gotten deep into their conversation, which left you to deal with Lando. He’d stolen several glances of you throughout the dinner and it didn’t seem like he was planning to stop. You took it as your opportunity to strike up some small talk. All in hopes to get him to stop staring.

“You should stop staring, my image might get burned into your retina.” He didn’t even bother blinking. His eyes moved from your figure to your eyes.

“I think that’d be a blessing, no?” You scoffed at his reply. You saw it as nothing but a foolish attempt at flirtation— which you didn’t appreciate. Sure, you were off-track, but that didn’t mean you had time for meaningless distractions. Lando gave off a clear vibe that he was nothing but a hindrance to your ultimate goal of becoming a champion.

“You’re playing hard to get. I like that,” he smirked and slightly leaned back in his seat.

“Could you be any more obnoxious?”

“If that’s what you want me to be.” He was truly impossible to communicate with. Every sentence was a pick-up line to some degree. 

“I’m not interested in you, Norris.” He seemed to completely disregard the message you sent, as a smile grew on his face the moment you uttered his last name.

“Glad to know you know my name, Miss Red Bull.” Admittedly, he was pretty easy on the eyes, and his small chuckles were cuter than you wanted to acknowledge.

“You should let me take you home after this.”

“You don’t even know me.” Contrary to your belief, that wasn’t true at all. He knew exactly who you were. He and Max were close friends after all. But the real kicker was; he’d been into you for much longer than he led on.

His infatuation first started in the early stages of the 2021 season, when he’d see you wandering around the tracks on weekdays. He’d seen you in the Red Bull garages, usually deep in conversation with one of the engineers. He’d asked about you from multiple people. That included the big man himself; Christian Horner. Though, Christian encouraged him to stop asking around and just strike up a conversation with you. However, Lando never actually found the time to approach you. You were always surrounded by mechanics and the media. It was simply impossible to get to you. It was almost like you were a national treasure. Pretty to look at, but that was all he could do.

“Trust me, I know you.” For a moment, you got lost in those dashing eyes of his. He returned your gaze, only looking into what would be considered the windows to your soul. Could he read you? Could he understand that you didn’t want him? Did you want him?

“You’re incredible up close.” 

“Excuse me?” You snapped out of whatever trance you’d been stuck in as soon as those words left his pouty lips. That statement was creepy if anything, and not flattering in the slightest… or was it?

“That’s a pretty off-putting thing to say, you know?” This luckily caught the attention of Max who’d finished off with Daniel. The two of them turned their heads your way to join in.

“What’s off-putting?”

“Oh, we were just talking about how obsessed Lando is with me.” You said it in a joking manner, but everyone’s faces went semi-pale. Especially Lando’s.

“So he finally talked to you? I’m glad I don’t have to answer any more of his idiotic questions.” Your mouth went dry at his words, and Lando’s face turned a rose colour. As if all air conditioning had been turned off on a hot summer’s day.

“Excuse me?” You’d lost your appetite, making your curiosity the only reason you had to stay. That and your appreciation for Max having paid for the dinner that was supposed to serve as a celebration.

“I- um…” Lando was reasonably hesitant to say anything.

“Well… I was just referring to his constant flirting. I didn’t believe it was deep or anything but… um… you know what? This was nice, Max. Truly. I think I’d like to get home. I’m absolutely drained.” You sighed with a screwed smile on your lip. You gathered your things and pushed your chair in. Despite your friend’s heavy protests, you left and got a cab for yourself. 

Leaving on an empty stomach hadn’t been the plan, so you had no choice but to stop by a grocery store. Many in the area had salads ready to go. It was no five-star meal, but it had to suffice.

Of course, you felt awful for leaving early, but you knew you couldn’t let yourself stray away from your goal. Lando was attractive, you couldn’t stand there and lie to yourself, but that was all the more reason to stay away. Well, besides the point that you barely knew the guy. The flirtatious comments and borderline creepy behaviour were nothing to you. It wasn’t anything you wouldn’t be able to ignore. As long as he stayed out of your way.

Except he didn’t.

The following morning, you had a couple of missed messages from Max. He’d been worried after you took off. You were too frazzled and in a hurry to respond. There was no time left before the briefing back at the motorhome. Being punctual meant that you showed an interest. It meant that you showed passion. You were not going to let some silly McLaren driver ruin it for you. That was simply not your style and would never be.

When you got there, everyone was already gathered. They’d been waiting for you to arrive. Honest, but embarrassing mistake. You wanted to let out a slew of self-insulting jabs. Lucky for you, it didn’t last too long, and you were on to start prepping for the race.

“Hey, are you okay?” A certain Dutchman tapped your shoulder and spun you around when you weren’t responsive. The look he saw in your eyes spoke volumes. Notes that you wish weren’t easily revealed. The eyes didn’t lie. They never did.

“I’m fine, I just really want to focus on winning. I don’t have time for whatever Lando is trying to drag me into.” You sighed as the two of you walked to the motorhome.

“Look, I know you haven’t known him for long, but maybe try to get along with him? You don’t have to accept his shitty flirting. He’s my best friend and so are you… it’s really awkward that you can’t even be around him.” True. You had acted somewhat irresponsibly, but you certainly weren’t the only guilty party in that. 

“Fine, but under one condition. You tell him to stop being so flirtatious with me. I hate it.”

“Deal.”

The race ended with a lucky pole position. Somehow, you’d gotten away with defending yourself from none other than your little McLaren fan. As much as you enjoyed your national anthem being played and spraying champagne— you felt so empty. It felt like a worthless celebration. All because you knew you’d been underperforming. You hadn’t given it your all, yet Lando still kept behind you. Of course, with Max behind him, there was nothing for you to worry about. Both drivers were amazing when it came to defending their place, but you just couldn’t understand how he hadn’t gone for the win. It was right there. Right within reach. It was so close, his beautiful curved lips could touch it. It didn’t make sense to you, nobody would be stupid enough to sacrifice coming out on top. You didn’t believe it. You simply didn’t even want to.

Lando became unavoidable. As more races were won by you and some by Max, it was finally time for the summer break. 3 weeks of much-needed rest.

… what you thought would be a relaxing 3 weeks, turned out to be the most stressful weeks of your life.

Max had texted you on short notice to come over for dinner, as Kelly had made too big of a batch of gnocchi. Since you lived walking distance from him, you didn’t see any harm in coming over. Kelly wasn’t exactly your favourite person in the world, but it wasn’t like she was insufferable. She was still a nice person… somewhat.

Max greeted you at the door, having Penelope run up behind him to say hi. You might’ve not been the biggest fan of her mother, but she was such a cute little thing. You took her up into your arms and smiled,

“Hi there ‘P’!”

Your smile quickly faded though. The Brit from McLaren came into view from behind Max, and it was almost as if all of your spirits had been sucked out of you like the marrow of a bone. It was something of a consolation, however, that he stayed silent. He just stood there and watched as you played around with Penelope. The toddler was full of energy.

“Come come, the gnocchi is ready.” You put the girl down and followed them into the dining room. Kelly had plated everything and had taken the liberty to sit across from Max. You had no choice but to sit next to her. It wouldn’t exactly make sense for her to be sitting next to Lando.

“Kelly, I must say you are an amazing cook, this looks fantastic!” Fake it until you make it. In all honesty, though, she was a great cook.

“Thank you. I’ve been practicing lately.” It felt like deja vu when the couple got into talking. There was just you, Lando, and Penelope.

“I think I should apologize for… everything?” Lando suddenly spoke. You scanned his face, his hair, his outfit. Were you in trouble? Perhaps.

“You know what, Kelly? I think I’ll help tuck Penelope in!” You got up from your seat and politely put down your cutlery.

“Oh, sure. Thank you. It’s way past her bedtime.” She smiled at you and signalled for Penelope to come with you before she turned back to Max.

Lando had the guts to follow you into Penelope’s bedroom. He watched as you lifted the little girl up into your arms and placed her carefully on the duvets that covered her bed. She was already in her pyjamas, which made your job all the more easy. He took the chance to sit next to you on the bed, as you stroked the toddler’s cheek.

“Are you really going to avoid me forever?” He said in a quiet whisper, not wanting to disturb the girl from dozing off into the gentle night.

“You’re a fool if you let relationships taint your path to victory… in my opinion.” You turned your head to look at him. The moonlight shining from the gaps in the blinds complimented his dancing eyes. They looked at you. Your figure. Your facial features. They admired you as if you were a priceless piece of art at a gallery.

“You must’ve led a pretty sad life up until now.” He wasn’t right. You’d been around love and laughter for the better part of your life. You weren’t that lonely… were you?

“Lando… we don’t even—”

“Don’t tell me we don’t know each other. You know me and I know you. This isn’t like all those months ago. We’ve been in social settings together more than I can count on my fingers. You and I know each other.” He was obviously desperate. It made sense when thinking of the massive crush he’d had on you thus far. You did feel a tinge of guilt knowing you had to turn him down no matter what.

“Lando, please don’t do this.”

“I apologize for being so forward, okay? How about we begin with a friendship, huh? That’s what Max would want anyway.” He wasn’t wrong. That’s what Max had asked of you several months ago, but you’d only been distant.

You got along with everyone pretty well. Mick was someone you would chat with every time you saw him on race weekends. Sebastian was like an older brother. Lewis, although your biggest competition, was a good buddy too. You were always hanging around Pierre and Kika too. There were no hard feelings between you and pretty much all of the other drivers. Except for Lando.

As much as you hated admitting it, Lando’s charms had taken a massive effect on you. His flirtatious little comments were nothing short of annoying, but you loved the banter. You loved his energy, his radiant laugh whenever Max would hurl jokes his way. You loved his smirk whenever you rejected his advances.

Over just a couple of months, you found yourself needing to avoid him. So you did. As more time passed, Lando must’ve started to notice, because he dialled his game up by the tenths. Avoiding him became an impossible mission. He seemed to be everywhere. If you went to the Red Bull motorhome, he was there with Max. If you went to the garage, he was there with Max. Even on-track he was right behind you in your slipstream. He was always chasing you. You only had one other option left— to act completely apathetic and aloof. Which brought you right to the confrontation in front of a little toddler trying to fall asleep.

“Just leave me alone. I don’t want you here. Just go, okay?” Your heart clenched as he gave you a disappointed smile.

“If that’s what you want.”

That night you couldn’t fall asleep. It was impossible. Whilst you didn’t harbour any real feelings for Lando, you knew you’d fall hard if you spent any more time with him. Your mind was supposed to be focused on winning, but instead of that— you were stuck on him. You didn’t want to fall for him. You didn’t have time for that. There was only one person that mattered, and that was you. Only you.

“Is he really that bad?” Kika asked as she took a sip of her coffee, placing it on the plastic coaster on the wooden table. You’d invited her over for a sleepover of sorts. Mainly what became an accidental therapy session,

“You know, I came here to Monaco to explore. Why are we sitting here and sulking? Lando isn’t all that bad.”

“Yes, Kika, he is! He keeps trying to get close to me, and when I reject him he makes me feel so guilty for doing so.” Your face was squished against the table, signalling your utter defeat in the matter. You were at a complete loss. You didn’t know what to do anymore.

“Sounds to me like you have a thing for him, no?” Kika was a voice of reason in many situations, but this was not acceptable to you. Denial and delusion was the only solution.

“Never. I want to win a championship, not go fool around with some British guy from a midfield team.” Harsh, but you had to say it. Saying it didn’t exactly have an effect on the situation, but it made you feel better.

“I don’t see any quick fix to this, honestly.” You groaned at her words, wanting your misery to end.

“Come on, relationships take time. I should know, I’m with Pierre.” Pierre wasn’t Lando though. She and he were meant to be. It was as if they were put on the planet to be with each other. You, on the other hand, were put on the planet to win. Lando was nothing but a meaningless distraction.

“Fine, I’ll help you out,” she finally said and sighed. You sprung up and looked at her with wide eyes,

“Really?”

“Really. Now listen. I’ll set up a double date thing, okay?”

“Wait what? No! Kika, no. That’s only going to make it worse. Why would you do that?” Your head dropped again.

“Look, do you want my help or not?”

“I do…”

“Then let me do my thing, and sit tight.” It was her win. You just wanted to get Lando out of the way. Any lengths were necessary if it meant being able to blow right past the Brit.

A week passed before the supposed ‘double date’, and you were not feeling it one bit. Lando wasn’t even all that close with Kika and Pierre. Not as close as you were. You’d end up being the only reason he’d have to stay.

Sadly you realized that fact too late. You were sat with Kika and Pierre at a fancy seafood place down by the harbour. Lando had noted that he’d be late, which gave the three of you some time to discuss some last-minute details. It was imperative that he’d be completely out of the equation by the end of the date.

It wasn’t so much the question of whether or not you’d fallen for him. No, it was whether you could ignore it altogether. Completely shut out any little squeak from your heart when it tugs at the sight of him. Which is just did.

You saw him walking through the door with a casual, but not too casual outfit. His curls were slightly slicked back and his smile was as radiant as ever. You couldn’t stand the sight of him. It was repulsive. Was it not? It made you sick. Did it not?

When he took a seat next to Pierre, across from you, it was hard to not look at him. Oh, but how badly you wanted to. Then again— you didn’t. You hated the fact that Kika had some diabolical plan in mind. One that probably went against everything you stood for.

“Well! Now that Lando’s here, we should order appetizers!” She pulled out the menu and casually looked through the variety of foods.

Whilst she ordered for the four of you, Pierre gave you a nervous look and slightly peered over at Lando, who luckily had his nose buried in his phone. Likely some business stuff. You could only mouth ‘What do I do?’ to which the Frenchman replied with a shrug and a miserable look on his face. He knew just as much as you, that this date would end up in a knot of awkward silences and unfinished sentences.

“Lando, I didn’t think you’d actually show up. You know, given this girl’s obvious distaste for you.” You nearly snapped your neck, as she pointed at you. Oh, how you wanted someone to interrupt your date. Anyone. Lando put his phone away, sighed, and looked at you with a small smile, before giving her a reply,

“I don’t care if I’m being completely honest. I’ve done it for months. I can go for years if I have to.” Kika had seriously misinterpreted Lando’s intentions and how badly he actually wanted you. Your version of the situation had him painted in an entirely different light after all. You made him out to be some meaningless player. Which, by the sound of things, wasn’t his style at all.

“I was under the impression he was trying to play you! That’s why this date would’ve worked out to get him off your back. What is this?!” Kika whisper-yelled. Everything was messed up. Way off course. The plan had gone to shit within less than an hour.

“Well… I really don’t like him, so isn’t there something you can do?” You whispered back. The two of you both realized that the guys were able to see you whispering back and forth, so she hauled you into the ladies’ room. It was quiet and nobody would disturb you.

“Do you want the truth or a sugar-coated lie?” She asked, resting a hand on her hip.

“The truth?” You were conflicted though. Did you actually want the truth? Did you already know it? Did you perhaps just bury it deep within the darkest chambers of your pitiful little lonely soul? Were you so obsessed with rising to the top, that relationships truly didn’t matter?

“You like him. No, it’s more than just an infatuation. You’re head over heels for him. The way you looked at him when he walked in? I saw it. Pierre saw it. The waiters saw it! Open your eyes.” Hearing it from another person really put things into perspective, and it didn’t sit right with you. All your life you were used to pushing people away. Silly little childhood crushes would stay exactly that; crushes. You never let anything go beyond the first stage.

“Kika… I don’t know,” you groaned and turned on the faucet, splashing some water on your face.

“Come on, let’s get back to them. They’re waiting for us.”

After sitting back down, Lando tried to give you a curt smile. It was awkward and the pressure was rising. It was hard to stay within 10 feet of the guy.

“I remember when I first started falling for Pierre. It was really something… how about you, Lando? When did you start having a thing for her?” Oh please, Kika seemed too determined to let it go. A part of you liked that, but the other part felt its gut screaming in agony.

“It’s been more than a year or so now, actually… it’s a little hard to explain.” With that, you couldn’t handle it anymore. You apologized and left the setting abruptly. It was far too much for you, and you just knew your heart would give out.

As you walked out of the restaurant and started looking for a cab, you heard footsteps running after you, with the calling of your name soon following right behind. You knew exactly who it was, but you didn’t know if you were ready for that conversation.

“Please don’t. Don’t leave again.” You turned around to see a very desperate-looking Lando. 

“Lando, do you know how embarrassing that was for me?” You sighed and rolled your eyes as if you were a bratty teenager being denied the latest fashion statement dress.

“What?”

“Even I didn’t know it had been a whole year and more than that! You were seriously going to tell them all about your weird little obsession with me! Don’t you see how embarrassing that is for me?” The curly-haired brunette looked reasonably upset by your words. They cut deep like a dagger to the chest.

“I’m sorry, okay? I was just being honest. It felt like an interrogation. I was uncomfortable and just had to say something… well… the truth. It was really as if Kika wanted to know my intentions, though.” How was the guy so spot on?

“Lando, just leave me be and go back to the others. We can live our separate lives. I don’t want to be near you right now.” You didn’t want your face to reveal any underlying feelings, so you buried your gaze in the asphalt.

“Why don’t you go ahead and look into my eyes whilst you say that.” Your heart stopped. Lando was simply impossible.

“Lando, just let me go. I don’t want you and if you can’t accept that— I don’t think there’s any space for a friendship either.” This time, he went to hell with it and cupped your face with both hands. You could feel the warmth pulsating in each palm, sending jolts down your spine.

“There’s no reason to treat me like this if you can’t even say it straight to my face.” He held you too tightly for you to look away from him. All you could see was the genuine despair in his eyes. The little hope he had left was slowly slipping the more you denied and denied and denied.

“Lando if you don’t let go of me right now…”

“What are you going to do? Distance yourself from me? Isn’t that what you've been doing this whole season? Do you think you’re invisible? I’ve seen you. I saw you on the podium. I saw you on the screens. I saw you in the magazines. Just because you run away, doesn’t mean you get to go the easy way out. No, you’ll know that I—“ Fuck. Your brain was struggling to scramble everything together. All you could think about was those sweet eyes of his. Those curly locks. That desperate look on his face.

“Just let me go… please.” The overload of sensory input sent a single tear streaming down your face. Lando, seeing this, immediately let go of you, making sure he hadn’t hurt you in some way.

“I’m so sorry. I really am.”

“I know…” You quickly wiped the salty drop of truth away and put on yet another jester’s face.

“Please, can you tell me why you hate me so much? I just need closure. I just can’t find it in myself to believe that it’s because of my flirtation.” He’d given you space to breathe and space to think.

“I don’t hate you…”

“Then why do you keep leaving? Why are you avoiding me?”

“Because I’ll fall in love with you if I don’t… and that’s not what I want to do.” It was hard to read his face, but it was certainly portraying some kind of relief. You confirmed it when he pulled you into his chest. The sound of his heartbeat matched the pace of yours. Fast and relenting.

“Please, could you give it a chance? Give us a chance?” He pulled away, grabbed you by the hips and looked deeply into your eyes. The window to your soul.

“I just told you… that’s not what I want, Lando…” You were just about to give the ground another look at your face when Lando grabbed you by the chin,

“I know you’re obsessed with winning. I heard from Max. I won’t compromise that. I promise. It’s just… I need you in my life, and now that I know you feel the same way… I can’t just sit back and watch you slip away.” He was making it harder than you wanted him to. He had a point and you chewed on it.

“Fine… but you better let me win. At least for the remaining races of this season.”

“Sounds like you’ve got yourself a deal.” He smiled. It was as if time stood still, as you’d eyes closed with his— your lips touched his with a certain birding falling off your back along with it. His lips were like a cure. They were soft and delicate. Not something you expected, but the feeling was certainly welcome.

The season had ended with you as the champion. The party that was held was unlike the others. It was your party. Not Max’s. Not Lewis’. It was yours and yours alone. People cheered your name and toasted in your honour. You felt like you were on top of the world. More than anything though, Lando held you in his arms that same night. He showered you with congratulations and compliments. Even going as far as buying you a bouquet of roses. The club smelled of alcohol and cheap perfume, but all you could smell was the woodsy and warm scent of Lando’s cologne. You were practically engulfed in it throughout the entire night.

He took you on an official date a week later, waiting for the season to fully conclude. Mostly due to the stress of packing and making it back home.

 It was a picnic in one of the many British marshes. Everything was home cooked. Well, you’d cooked everything and he had bought the wine. It was a win-win. You’d done everything overnight, as you wanted to arrive early into the morning.

You’d spread out the checkered tablecloth for you to sit on, opened the basket, and prepped everything. Lando opened the aged wine and poured you a glass before he poured his own— a true gentleman. You swirled your wine around, watching it hit the rim of your glass before you took a sip.

“For once, you aren’t running off before we eat. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you dine, even with all the dinners we’ve had together,” your boyfriend chuckled and handed you a chocolate-covered strawberry. You took a bite of it to show off that you, in fact, were able to stay and eat. It stirred a little chuckle from him. He then mimicked the exact way you ate it and gave you another one after you finished yours.

You leaned against your lover’s shoulder, feeling his arm wrapped around your waist. The two of you watched the yellows, the oranges, and the reds in the sky as the sun started its ascension far into the horizon. It was mesmerizing. Truly. You admired the view, taking in all of life’s pleasures, and listened as the mourning doves cooed the same old nostalgic tune from your adolescent years. There was no place you’d rather be, and nobody you’d rather be there with, than with Lando Norris. The one, who through one too many races, was right in your slipstream.

𝗥𝗲𝗾𝘂𝗲𝘀𝘁𝘀 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗼𝗽𝗲𝗻...

𝘾𝙝𝙚𝙘𝙠 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙧𝙪𝙡𝙚𝙨 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙧𝙚𝙜𝙪𝙡𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙨 𝙗𝙚𝙛𝙤𝙧𝙚 𝙧𝙚𝙦𝙪𝙚𝙨𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙥𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙨𝙚!

𝙃𝙚𝙧𝙚’𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙢𝙖𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩

©vettelsdarling

𝗣𝗹𝗲𝗮𝘀𝗲 𝗱𝗼 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗿𝗲𝗰𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝗼𝗿 𝗮𝗱𝗮𝗽𝘁 𝗺𝘆 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗸 𝗶𝗻 𝗮𝗻𝘆 𝘄𝗮𝘆, 𝘀𝗵𝗮𝗽𝗲, 𝗼𝗿 𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗺— 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗺𝘆 𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗺𝗶𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻.

#fanfiction #fanfic #f1 #formula 1 #formula one #x reader #f1 fanfic #f1 fanfiction #reader insert #fluff #lando norris angst #angst with a happy ending #light angst #lando norris fluff #lando norris x reader #lando norris #lando norris x you #lando norris imagine #mclaren #red bull f1 #red bull racing #max verstappen #pierre gasly #f1 x reader #female reader #reader imagine

[gloomlet]

Gloomlet’s TS4 Script, Gameplay & Replacement Mods

So I decided to compile a list of all the script/gameplay mods that i use or have used in my game. This was mainly made for my personal use, but i’m sure it could be helpful to other people too!

UPDATE! PLEASE READ!! This list is no longer up to date - use the Google Doc! - 04/25/24

Basic & Recommended!

TS4 Mod Manager ui cheats extension mc command center Carl's Sims 4 Gameplay Overhaul Relationship & Pregnancy Overhaul Wonderful Whims The Mood Pack Mod First Impressions Contextual Social Interactions Simulation Lag Fix Teleport Any Sim Better Exceptions

CAS Mods

Stand still in CAS More Traits in CAS Tidy details in CAS More CAS columns Lifetime Aspirations Child Aspirations Set Housewife - Aspiration Unlimited Likes + Dislikes Preferences Plus Homebody - Preferences 100+ CAS Traits Resized Facial Piercings

Replacements & Retextures

Fan Art Maps Map Replacements Overhaul Clean UI Sims 1 & 2 Font LIS Fonts Fluffy Clouds (Ghibli Clouds) Feet replacement Hand replacement Bra + Panty Default Replacement better babies + bottle replacement Another baby bottle replacement Default Cutlery! Cute Kitchenware Replacement Boxing Gloves Aquarium Fish Recolor Ceiling replacement paint it up mod A brighter mop Selfie Override

Objects Phone Replacement Smaller dollhouses Switch Controller + console Game controller PS1 console pc game override Remote control sponge & spray override Another Sponge & Spray override

Electric Toothbrush Razor Bassinet override infant rug +  infant tub child drawing replacement weather controller Cats & Dogs Fireplace Headphone/earbud override Old-fashioned Suitcase The slightly nicer Tree House Fireplace Lil Campers Light

Replaced + more Interactions Bed Cuddles Better Woohoo Reactions Realistic Reactions Brush Teeth From Toothbrush Holders Wake-up animation Greetings

Visuals & effects No overhead effects No zzz No object highlight no plumbob please Smaller Mosaic Minimalist CC Icon More Holiday icons

Gameplay!

Playable Pets Slower infant needs Expanded Mermaids Who's Knocking More Visitors No Bad Microwave Buffs Memory Panel Smarter Pie Menu: Searchable Smart Sim Randomizer Play Chess on any computer Strangerville Story toggle

Careers & Jobs Career Overhaul New Careers Simdeed Recruitment Services Flex Part-Time Recruitment Agency Game Developer Career Ultimate Nursing Career Modeling Career Tumbling Tots Daycare Career Shear Brilliance - Cosmetology Seasonal Odd Jobs - Autumn Odd Job Overhaul Modeling and Makeup Odd Jobs Babysitting Gigs Freelance Chef

Education Uni Tweaks Education Overhaul Uni Application Overhaul University costs more Choose Your Roommate Long Distance Learning No Uni Housing Restrictions Uni Aspirations School Lunch Override Longer or Shorter Degree Requirements

Cooking + Food Food Retexture Pack 1, Pack 2, Pack 3 Breakfast Retextures Pizza Retexture Grannies Cookbook Chef Buffet S’more Options Srsly's Complete Cooking Overhaul Dine Out Reloaded Delivery Services Sims Eat and Drink Faster Porto Luminoso Market Cutouts Buyable Cakes Functional Mixer HCH Mixer & Cookbook Functional Air fryer Functional Blender Functional Cookie jar Another Cookie Jar Functional Toaster Functional Cake Stand Functional Rice cooker Functional Pressure Cooker Boba Tea Add-ons Functional Beer Functional Frozen Ice Cart

Pregnancy Realistic Pregnancy Cherished Moments - Pregnancy Science Baby Tweak

Services & Apps Sim National Bank “SimDa” Dating App Exchange Store

Interactions Meaningful Stories Cute Romance Drama Mod Autonomous Go Steady and Propose Autonomous Break Up and Divorce Dynamic Teen Life Parent-Child Relationships Let's Get Fit Modpack Sumba Fitness

Functional Items Playful Toddler Pack Toddler Play Telephone Little Chef’s Toy Kitchen Void Critter Tablet Functional Pool Slide

Functional Toy Bin Functional Hopscotch Functional Broom Functional Paper Sketchpad Functional Drumkit Functional Spiral Staircases In Your Safe Piggy Banks Film Reaper Movie Theater Left End Counter Dishwaser

Random Small mods

Loading and CAS screens

Free Sims 4, Free Loading Screen Bonehilda Loading Screen Custom Color loading screens Lights Out Loading Screen The Blues Collection Loading Screen Lin Sims Loading Screens San Sequoia Loading Screens Abstract Art + Landscape Loading Screens H-O-B & Sulani Loading Screens Autumn Loading Screens Pink Kitten Animated Loading Screen Life is Strange Loading Screens Cloudy TS2 CAS Background Ocean Waves CAS Room Old School - CAS Room Modern Minimalism CAS Room Plumbob replacements Crystal Loading Screens

lighting mods

sunblind lighting + installation Milk Thistle Better in-game lighting Gentle CAS lighting

#ts4 mods #ts4 mod list #gloomlets mod list

[theoraclephobetor]

Will Graham's whole thing with Alana is so fucking autistic at every turn. She has to lay out exactly what's going on for him because he can't not know, but he also just can't tell (which like... fair! She's being really confusing! Even she doesn't know what she wants!)

Of course he's going to feel more at ease with Hannibal - the man is so fucking consistent because he's trained himself to be placid.

Then there's also this autistic slant to Hannibal, because he's made his set of rules and he fucking sticks to it (and plainly insists that others stick to it as well, or else). He's great at social situations, but mainly those in highly structured settings like concerts or therapy sessions. He rarely shows facial emotions unless he's actively projecting something, and you can't tell me that the food thing isn't some kind of sensation seeking. Killing people is basically just a special interest. He dresses the same no matter the situation. He's got a vinyl murder onesie to keep himself clean.

Does Hannibal meet the diagnostic criteria for ASD? Absolutely not. But have you ever seen two autistic people who've known each other for long enough that all of their conversations are unintelligible to outsiders? That talk in collaborative run-on sentences and beat metaphors to death? Yeah, Will and Hannibal are sure as shit autistic with each other, even if Hannibal doesn't meet the criteria alone.

And like, we can all agree that they're both masking, yes? Will in the standard autistic way, and Hannibal in the person-suit way, but both definitely constructing their person-ness based on what they see as normal-enough-to-get-away-with. They use the people around them as their reference points for how to react to things. So shove Will and Hannibal in a room together and wait a week, and they'll both come out with the same mask. That's just season 2, honestly. Let these two get under each others' skin and they'll try to wear it. It's like flirting to them.

#hannibal rewatch #trou normand #hannibal lecter #will graham #alana bloom #these bitches gay #these bitches also on the spectrum #I vibe with hannibal so he's got autism now #it's the blessing I bestow on all my favourite characters

[addictiedtocrimedrama]

26 Years- Chapter 1: Prologue (part 2, because Tumblr won't let me post it as a whole)

Check out part one for the first half of the fic

check out part 1 here

as usual the gif credit goes to @shannyfishwriter because like I said in my last two post of my fanfics it's from their blog where I save the gif and my I add a whole heap more the the three seen so far

In 2009 Jack and Clara had another baby boy who they named Rillie Jacob "RJ" Garrett. The next year was full of stress because first Strauss was killed and Matt became Section Chief then Jeanna Lewis who was their Technical Analyst retired, and their secret almost came into the light while doing a job interview with one of the applicants and almost told the media because she got rejected. And all of that happened in just the first quarter of the year. Later in the year, Clara gave birth to her and Jack's youngest child and daughter, name Emma Rose Garrett.

In late 2020 Clara's brother Brad died in the line of duty and she went on a 2-year bureau sabbatical to clear her head but stayed in touch with her family and kept them updated on her location. The following year Emma joined the FBI's Junior Special Agent Program and later decided that she would join would be the IRT and follow her parents foot steps. Through the program, she met Lisa Garcia a Filipino-American girl who would later be her partner in the field. In 2022 Clara rejoined the team after their case in Thailand where she just so happens to be at the time.

Now it's been almost a year since Clara's return and almost 25 years of hiding the fact that they're married. Ryan is now an FBI agent Jack jr. is in the Marines, the twins are finishing college, and RJ and Emma are starting Junior High. But after this year's events, how will Jack and Clara keep everything a secret from the team now? Questions will spark that sooner or later they need to answer. How will their lives change in the aftermath of a disaster that affects more families than just the Garrett family?

A/n: I hope you guys enjoyed the story. I don't know when I'll be able to update this story since the school year just started last month where I live, so it's still unclear to me when I'll be able to update it.

A/n2 : When Emma joined the IRT she used the surname Rubirosa which is Clara's true maiden name (a one shot about that will hopefully be uploaded soon) and to also distinguish her from her Jack.

A/n3: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/7359148/1/29-Years - this is the link to the fanfic "29 Years" where I got the inspiration for this fic/chapter came from

#criminal minds beyond borders #jackxclara #jack garrett #clara seger #mae jarvis #matt simmons #emma garrett #(are you surprised with her connection/involvement in the fic; i hope not since she literally has the same surname as jack) #lisa “isa” jane garcia (oc) #alternate universe #canon divergence #the IRT as a family #the IRT was never disband #family #friendship #flash backs to season 1 #but mainly set in season 2 #re-writing CMBB #missing scenes #cross posted on fanfiction.net and ao3 #check out part 1 for the first half of the chapter #fanfiction #bring back criminal minds beyond borders #cmbb

[canyouiimagine]

NONSENSE | LN4 x Black! Reader

PART 1

Materlist

✧ Paring: Lando Norris x Streamer black!reader

✧ Face claim: Mainly aaanokk

✧ Warning: none... I think 🤔.

✧ Summary: In which reader is obnoxiously head over heels for a "fruity" man that wears orange.

✧ Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not own nor know these people personally. I also do not claim this to be an accurate depiction of their character. 🥰

✧ A/N: I haven’t been on twitter in a WHILE so I’m really pulling these usernames out of my a*s 😭.

TWITTER

-

-

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FaceTime call

"Hi.", you said shily. "I’m sorry if I came off too strong…"  "No worries!" He said with a chuckle. "I found it quite funny to be honest." "Hmm." You whispered looking away. "No! Really!" He laughed. "It was a good distraction from the shit season I’ve been having." You didn’t do too bad at Silverstone and Hungaroring. No?  "Yeah, but I don’t want to get too excited over 2 Good races. Spa was shit. Zandvort was also shit-" "I think p7 under these conditions is pretty good!" You said, interrupting him. You didn't know much about the sport yet but you had seen a lot of people saying that all over social media and you agreed! "Oh!" He said, giving you a surprised but amused look. "Didn’t you were that into F1." "I mean, I kinda have to if I’m into you. Don’t need people dragging me on social media because I think you’re cute but I don’t know what DRS means." "Do you?" He asked raising his eyebrow. Now... You in fact did not know what it meant, like okay Drag Reduction System but like, what does that even MEAN? Instead of replying you just glared at him, causing him to burst out laughing. He was about to say something but was cut off by someone in the background. He nodded at whatever the person was saying before setting his eyes back on you. "I have to go but I’ll text you to set up for our date." He said smiling at you. You smiled back, nodding, before registering what he had just said- "Date-?" "Bye!" "BYE?!" You screeched. This was all going so fast! He laughed and hung up.

y_username

liked by ybfusername, pokimanelol, f1wags and 706,401 others

y_username I might try my hand out at sports gaming, what do y'all think?

pokemanelol OMG YES PLEAAASE

y_username If pookie says so than I shall 😌

ybfusername When is this nonsense going to END???

y_username NEVER!!!! fan1 please bring her to her senses!!

fan2 How much longer will we have to tolerate this Y/N??

y_username You guys are nicer on twitter :(

f1wags @ landonorris liked by y_username

fan3 all that for a fruity looking man 😭

y_username I- I gagged!! Fruity??? 😭 fan3 Did I lie? y_username 😶 fan4 Man ??

Part 2

Hope you enjoyed it 🥹🫶🏾

Here's my ko-fi in case any of you want to support me by giving donations 🥰: https://ko-fi.com/canyouiimagine

#maria's writing <3 #nonsense #f1 x black!reader #ln4 x reader #ln4 #lando norris #lando norris x reader #lando norris x black!reader #f1 imagine #f1 fanfic #f1 x reader #ln4 x black!reader #black reader #ln4 x black reader

[ponett]

Bobby's 2023 Media Wrap-Up

So! Like I said before, this past year I kept a running list of everything I watched, every game I finished, every new album I listened to, etc., and wrote one-paragraph blurbs with my thoughts on every single one. Please enjoy this journey through everything I liked, or didn't like, in 2023, with my favorites of the year listed at the bottom.

(Yes! This is long!!)

Some notes:

I mainly only included things I finished. Exceptions are marked with an asterisk.

I included some YouTube stuff as "TV shows" - mostly particularly long, high effort video essays and documentaries.

I was a bit less adventurous than I'd like to have been this year. Part of this was just that I felt like I was constantly playing catch-up with Big Releases I felt obligated to check out, and part of this was just executive dysfunction from burnout. Wait until you see how long it took me to beat Mario Wonder lmao

Yes, I need to read more books. I don't read a lot of books these days. I need to get back to Discworld.

COLOR KEY

Video Games • TV / Web Video  •  Movies  •  Comics  •  Music

January

1/15: Final Fantasy XIV: A Realm Reborn (MSQ) - Very slow at times, the Primal shit is generally extremely lame to me outside of the boss fights themselves, but god if the quality of life improvements over WoW, the JRPG energy, and the fact that it Actually Has A Story carry it pretty hard.

1/18: Sonic the Hedgehog: Scrapnik Island miniseries - One of the most creative and compelling uses of the Sonic IP… ever? Fantastic little self-contained arc about the struggles of Eggman’s abandoned creations that gracefully weaves between heartfelt optimism and moody horror with some of the best art ever seen in a Sonic comic.

1/18: Mega Man X4 - Glad I finally actually beat this after never even beating any of the Mavericks as a kid! I can see why it’s a lot of peoples’ favorites. The gameplay has very little of that X series bloat and is just fun, especially after getting X’s armor upgrades. (But the story really is a long series of missed opportunities.)

February

2/2: Donks - Felix Colgrave continues to be an exceptional artist. The sound design on this is fantastic and really sells this short as something unique. Had to go back and watch his older stuff again after this.

2/4: Final Fantasy XIV: Heavensward (3.0 - 3.3 MSQ) - I get it now. I get why people say this is just a proper mainline Final Fantasy game built into the framework of an MMO. That shit ruled. Not even walking back the drama in Ul’Dah from the end of ARR can sour me on it because the main storyline was so strong.

2/8: Disneyland's Forgotten Sci-Fi Rock Band - Live From the Space Stage - A nice and honest tribute to a group of artists who could have easily been forgotten. In hindsight this feels like a precursor to Kevin’s Disney Channel jingle video, a tribute to the unsung artists pouring their hearts into “lesser” art for a megacorporation, art that was designed to be transient but sticks with people nonetheless.

2/9: Metroid Prime Remastered* - Not gonna finish because I just played through the Wii version in 2021, but still. Very, very pretty remaster.

2/16: Theatrhythm Final Bar Line - It’s more Theatrhythm. What more could I want

2/17: JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure: Stone Ocean (anime) - Probably the best part of the anime so far (assuming they continue on to SBR). A near perfect mix of the more structured plot of part 5 with the goofiness of parts 3 and 4 that crescendos into a fantastic, bombastic, emotional, bittersweet ending. The use of footage from the original opening and the new ending set to Roundabout in the finale were perfect, and made me intensely nostalgic for the early days of my JoJo fandom between seasons 1 and 2 of the anime.

2/22: Aggretsuko Season 5 - I don’t really know what to make of this one. Once you get past the agonizing initial arc all about Haida where Retsuko has to be his overbearing mommy GF who flips out and starts spying on him when she’s left on read and chides him when he misbehaves, it feels like an improvement over the previous seasons. But I don’t know how much of that is due to the extremely low bar set by season 4. And then the ending is extremely rushed and anticlimactic. They got legally married and the only acknowledgement was a shot of them signing the paperwork in a montage partway through the final episode?????????

2/24: Double Fine PsychOdyssey - God, what a journey the making of this game was. I already loved 2 Player’s past efforts at documenting Double Fine’s process, but this takes it to a whole new level. This feels culturally significant. The depth and honesty with which they depict not just the nitty gritty of making a game, but also the inherent struggles of working on a collaborative creative work for years at a time, is astounding. Not to mention that they were there to capture the shift from office life to remote work as COVID hit. So much of this would have been nightmarishly stressful to watch if I didn’t already know how successful the game was, but that’s just because they really didn’t sugarcoat it. And yet even after all that, it leaves me feeling optimistic about video games as an art form in a way that the constant headlines about cynical live service games don’t. There are still people out there pouring their hearts into making real art, and this is their story. Everyone who plays video games should watch this.

2/25: Cracker Island (Gorillaz) - New Gorillaz albums feel like less of an event these days, but after Humanz it feels like they’re just more chill with the project and their ambitions with it. Every couple years we get some more laid back jams from Damon along with some fun new collabs. Hard to complain. Favorite track: New Gold

2/25: Pool Kids (Pool Kids) - I discovered this band because Derek knows them and was excited when they got a song added to Fortnite through the Bandcamp collab. Always down to find more cool indie rock bands I can vibe with. The mix of dreamy vocals and energetic riffs on some of the tracks here almost fill the Crying-shaped hole in my heart. Almost… Favorite track: Conscious Uncoupling

2/25: Insane in the Rain (insaneintherainmusic) - I thought it was really funny timing when Carlos announced that his first original project would be a jazz fusion album inspired by acts like T-Square and Casiopea right as I was getting into those two specific bands. The final product does not disappoint. Favorite track: Insane in the Rain

2/26: Get Up Sequences Part Two (The Go! Team) - I’ve never been one to believe that a band’s sound has to remain exactly the same forever, but it really does hit you hard that the first two tracks here sound like classic The Go! Team. Their more recent cleaner sound is still here too, though, for a nice mix of old and new. Favorite track: Divebomb

2/28: Mobile Suit Gundam: The Witch From Mercury (Season 1) - Oh my god. Oh my god. I got distracted around the time I was finishing SLARPG, but finally catching up now, wow. My assumption that the seemingly lighter tone of the series compared to the prologue was there to lull us into a false sense of security before twisting the knife when war finally breaks out was spot on. This is peak Gundam.

March

3/4: Pizza Tower - One of the best platformers I’ve played in a long time. It transcends its blatant Wario Land inspirations with the sheer speed at which Peppino can move and the way things like the level design, his wall running, and even the hidden ability to do a second lap around the level reward getting into a flow state where you’re just constantly moving. This is the type of game that wants to turn you into a speedrunner. My only real complaint is a few iffy enemy designs that I wish would get patched.

3/6: Bloons TD 6 * - I bought this before bed one night on a nostalgic whim and then the next morning woke up and saw the Steam receipt email on my phone in one of the most “what did I do last night” moments of my life. I like when the monkeys pop the balloons.

3/7: The Book of Boba Fett - I put off finishing this show for a very long time but finally caved upon the release of The Mandalorian season 3. This show spends four episodes failing to make me give a shit about Boba Fett trying to be “the daimyo” and drive the drug trade off of Tatooine, then just gives up and becomes season 2.5 of Mando, which in turn feels like it undercuts the main series. It fails as both its own story and as a spinoff. I know that finishing this after Andor did it no favors, but WHOOF.

3/12: Obi-Wan Kenobi - Some interesting ideas in the first half hinting at a more introspective show, but it’s mostly swept aside in the back half so it can become a generic Star Wars adventure remixing things from A New Hope and Rebels (and apparently Jedi: Fallen Order). Action scenes have zero stakes because you know nothing can happen to any of the returning characters and none of the new ones are particularly interesting. Why there’s a second climax hinging on a Luke Skywalker death fakeout eludes me. Obi-Wan throwing the rocks at Vader is one of the funniest things in Star Wars history. But it was still better than Book of Boba Fett, I guess.

3/19: The King of Braves GaoGaiGar - Wow, cool robot indeed… GaoGaiGar isn’t going to blow anyone away with its writing, but sometimes you just need a really fun monster of the week mecha show with great action and lovably goofy characters. This is a show where like 20% of every episode consists of recycled transformation, combination, and signature attack sequences and I ate it up every time because they look fucking cool as hell. I don’t care. I’d watch Final Fusion another 49 times.

3/21: The Last of Us (HBO) * - Watched the first two episodes out of curiosity, but I’m not sure if I’ll continue because I don’t give a shit about The Last of Us. It’s definitely a well done adaptation, though, even if I know it’s inevitably going to devolve into miserable torture porn with questionable politics if they adapt Part II faithfully. The ending of episode 2 also lines up perfectly with where I stopped in the game in 2013 lmao

3/27: The Future is a Dead Mall - Decentraland and the Metaverse (Folding Ideas) - Another banger from Dan Olson. This time the premise inherently gives him more time to just show off a bunch of stupid ugly bullshit made by crypto guys, which is fun. My main complaint was that I wished he would’ve brought up Second Life more as a point of comparison (a thing I basically always want out of discussion of “the metaverse”), but he at least did touch on it in the last section.

3/31: The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog - I can’t believe after years of begging for the supporting cast to get more and better material in a Sonic game I got my wish in the form of a freeware murder mystery VN released for April Fools. This kicked ass.

April

4/7: Berserk - Completed Miura’s run and caught up on the chapters that have been released posthumously. It’s hard to say anything that hasn’t been said about Berserk, universally agreed upon as one of the greats of manga and fantasy fiction as a whole. What begins in its first few volumes as a nihilistic and edgy action comic built to facilitate as much sex and gore as possible quickly evolves into something deeply human and vulnerable and beautiful, both figuratively and in terms of its lavish art. The world sucks and is immeasurably cruel, and you will see that cruelty illustrated in graphic, sickening detail repeatedly throughout the series. (Perhaps a little too often throughout the Golden Age, where it feels like Miura never misses an opportunity to threaten Casca with sexual assault mid-battle.) But the point isn’t to wallow in that misery. It’s the story of a victim of horrific abuse learning to slowly open up to others, having those people he cares about torn away from him in the worst night of his life, hardening himself into a cold killing machine, and then slowly learning to open back up again, even if it means leaving himself vulnerable to more hurt. Anyone who says that the series peaked with the eclipse and went downhill in the “Guts’ JRPG Party” era is missing the point. Guts needed to find new people in his life to care about, to begin to find happiness again. Because no matter what unspeakable things Guts has gone through, it’s still possible for him to heal and to be loved. It takes time, but eventually you stop and realize that life has moved on.

4/8: Dedede’s Drum Dash Deluxe - Skipped it upon release because I didn’t particularly care for the minigame in Triple Deluxe, and I didn’t miss much. It’s fine as a little distraction, but not as a standalone rhythm game with only seven songs. If you don’t bother with the hard modes or chase after high scores this game is 15 minutes long. Oh how I yearn for Kirby to get the Theatrhythm treatment.

4/10: The King of Braves: GaoGaiGar FINAL - Eh… It was okay. Lots of cool robot fights, but said fights are stitched together with a mediocre plot that tries too hard to be more “mature” than its unabashedly schlocky kids’ show predecessor. Not crazy about the ending, either, which tries to be a bittersweet farewell closing off the series once and for all while also teasing that maybe there’ll be ANOTHER sequel after the OVA series they literally called “FINAL.” Ah well.

4/11: The Owl House - Sad to see this one go, but it’s hard to imagine them doing a better finale than this, even if they had gotten the six seasons they deserved. I’m not as obsessed with The Owl House as I probably would’ve been had it come out when I was, like, 20, but it’s a really fantastic show for all the reasons people always say. Great characters, great world, great story. I love that this starry-eyed fantasy story about a teenager finding love and a place where she belongs is also set on the rotting corpse of a titan with Hieronymous Bosch-inspired scenery and freaky monsters everywhere. What a great mix. If anything, I just wish I would’ve watched the first season as it aired so I could’ve had more time with it.

4/29: Mega Man Battle Network 3: Blue Version - FINALLY beat this via the new collection, 20 years after playing it as my first Mega Man game. (Technically my first was White, not Blue, but whatever.) There are more annoyances than I remember - lots of really really bad forced backtracking sections where you have to revisit every previous part of the internet, low chip drop rates, some really aggravating bosses like BubbleMan and KingMan, etc. But it’s still a great time overall. It’s Battle Network. In the back half the story gets surprisingly emotional, too. I was always under the assumption that the Hub stuff never came back up much in the story after 1, so I was pleasantly surprised with how relevant it was to the emotional arc of 3.

4/30: Mega Man Battle Network 4: Red Sun * - Yeah I’m not playing through the whole thing lmao. I just wanted to play the first couple hours for nostalgia’s sake, and as a baseline for how much better the rest are. Even before getting deep in the game and having to deal with all the shit gated between doing two new game+ playthroughs, it’s immediately obvious how much of a downgrade this one is. Tons of glaring errors and typos all over the script, blander music, a way more boring aesthetic for the internet, and a premise that mostly just recycles the tournament idea from 3.

May

5/14: The Venture Bros. - Glad I finally sat down and watched all of this with Anthony after having seen one (1) episode as a teenager and a bunch of random clips in the years since. Great show. Some jokes in the early seasons haven’t aged gracefully, but what the show grows into over time... man. Hank and Dean go from being the butt of the joke to being characters you actually sympathize with - while still also being funny little goofballs. And the journey Henchman 21 goes on throughout the show. Man. Amazing that a comedy like this could run for 20 years and maintain its level of quality. Can’t wait for the movie.

5/18: Future Me Hates Me (The Beths) - Okay yeah I’m now just discovering bands through Fortnite lmao. I can’t complain really, they pick some really great indie artists for the in-game radio stations. Anyway: It’s very easy to win me over with a combination of energetic power pop, catchy guitar riffs, and earnest lyrics like this. One of those albums where three or four tracks in I know I have to buy it. Favorite track: Not Running

5/18: Jump Rope Gazers (The Beths) - Ditto. Favorite track: Dying to Believe

5/18: Expert In A Dying Field (The Beths) - Another good album. (I’m listening to these in release order.) I’ve been a bit slower to warm up to this one, initially thinking it was a little too mellow overall, but it might be my favorite after a few listens. Some real high highs. Interestingly, the lead singer’s New Zealand accent is also coming out more in her singing? Favorite track: Your Side (or maybe Head in the Clouds)

5/19: The Super Mario Bros. Movie - As a Mario fan, I think I enjoyed it? As a movie, less so? It was decent, in spite of feeling like they came up with a list of fun action setpieces first and then wrote the absolute bare minimum possible for the story scenes tying it all together. Full thoughts here. (This is the first movie I’ve seen this year, huh? I really don’t watch a lot of movies.)

5/23: Don't Know What You're In Until You're Out (Gladie) - I feel like I don’t like Gladie as much as I should. Their style of noisy indie rock is very much in my wheelhouse, and I do enjoy listening to them, but I dunno. Maybe it’s that the particular style of vocals makes it more monotonous to me. A good album nonetheless, if not 100% my thing. Favorite track: Nothing

5/24: City Slicker (Ginger Root) - Yes I am still making my way through Bandcamp artists I heard on Fortnite don’t @ me. Any excuse to get me to listen to some cool city pop-inspired funk like this is a good excuse. Favorite track: Loretta

5/24: Rikki (Ginger Root) - Favorite track: Why Try

5/25: Spotlight People (Ginger Root) - Favorite track: The Classic

5/29: Succession - A good dramedy series that increasingly focuses more on the drama than the comedy as it progresses, but it’s hard to complain about that since the drama is so compellingly produced. I enjoyed it. That being said, I kind of rankle at the claims that it’s The Greatest TV Show Of All Time. It’s great, don’t get me wrong. Amazing performances all around. But the show LOVES to spin its wheels, to repeat itself, and to let most of its interesting dramatic developments fizzle out before anything really comes of them, almost as if the show is constantly getting bored with its own ideas. To some extent this is intentional - Logan Roy is the untouchable billionaire, his kids fail at everything (but will nonetheless remain billionaires), and in the long run none of them really give a shit about anything other than their own status. But it’s not like things tend to visibly impact anyone else, either, be they supporting characters or the world at large. Even the Big Scary Election, where the Roy siblings are directly responsible for plunging the nation into chaos, ultimately has zero impact on the finale a mere two episodes later. Certain Other Things do have an impact in the last season, though, allowing things to meaningfully change for the cast and for the show to sit with the ensuing drama, which has stopped me from souring on Succession more. There was finally a payoff for something. But it does still kind of feel like a show that goes in circles until it’s ready to call it quits, even if those circles did contain a lot of great acting and music along the way.

5/29: Kipo and the Age of Wonderbeasts - I’d watched the first 12 episodes when they originally released, but I guess the Netflix binge release and the fact that all three “seasons” came out in one year led to me waiting until it finished… and then I just never got around to finishing it. Glad I fixed that! Really fun and stylish cartoon with an art style reminiscent of Teen Titans, a hip hop-filled soundtrack, dynamic fight scenes, and a colorful post-apocalyptic world filled with mutant (mostly anthropomorphic) animals. I’ll admit that at times I do kinda roll my eyes at Kipo’s unshakeable belief that everyone can be friends in a way that I don’t necessarily with similar shows like Steven Universe, and not every joke lands, but I dunno. It’s a kids’ show. That’s to be expected. It doesn’t detract from the overall package for me.

June

6/1: Craig of the Creek (Season 4) - It’s been years and I’m still processing the fact that kids can turn on Cartoon Network and hear Jeff Rosenstock. Anyway! Craig continues to be one of the best cartoons on TV, consistently funny and creative and way more engaging than a show about a bunch of kids LARPing in the woods has any right to be. This season turned into One Piece with the gang effectively hunting down the Poneglyphs in search of a legendary treasure. The kids think it’ll be magic. It isn't. An increasing number of cartoon logic gags aside, this show is firmly set in the real world. Does that make it any less interesting? Hell no. Season 3 turned a game of capture the flag into an all-out five episode war between the heroes and villains, filled with dramatic turnabouts and a climactic guest appearance from Del the Funky Homosapien. I’m sure however they wrap things up in the (sadly shortened) final season, it’ll be great. (Also? I would watch a whole show based on that “what if” episode that jumped forward to everyone’s 20s.)

6/6: Barry - Holy shit, what a show. I ended up binging it in less than a week in a cycle of “okay, just one more episode.” The way this show is able to swing between tones and genres while still feeling like a cohesive whole is truly masterful. It’s a layered character drama, a tragic crime thriller, a farcical comedy, an understated action series, a surrealist morality play, and a scathing satire of Hollywood, all in one. Even within the criminal underworld subplots the show ranges in tone from Breaking Bad to Paddington 2. And it works! While the show naturally gets bleaker over time as it confronts the repercussions of Barry’s murders, it never completely loses sight of its comedic roots. My favorite episode was easily season 2’s “ronny/lily,” a mostly self-contained episode that somehow manages to keep throwing the perfect curveballs to escalate its dark comedy.

6/12: The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (Extended Edition) - Y’all heard of this movie? Pretty good, it turns out. (I’d seen the theatrical cut before, but this was my first time watching the extended edition. I’ve also only seen parts of the other two movies, so it’s time I finally watch all the extended cuts. The Gollum game pushed me to this.)

6/13: The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (Extended Edition) - give it to us RAW and WRIGGLING

6/17: The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King (Extended Edition) - I’m not crying YOU’RE crying

6/22: Clone High (Season 2) - While the first episode being about “cancel culture” (or, more accurately, a teenager from 2003 being transported to 2023 and putting his foot in his mouth a lot) put a lot of people off, I ended up enjoying the new season of Clone High. The new clones grew on me as the season went on and their roles in the web of teen romance melodrama crystalized, and it made me laugh a lot, and Cleo/Frida is galaxy brained. Also they played one of my favorite Antarctigo Vespucci songs like a minute into the first episode. I don’t think I could really ask for much more.

6/28: The Mandalorian (Season 3) - I'd been watching this weekly but put off the last episode for no real reason. Responses to this season have been all over the place, but my blistering hot take is… it was fine. Is it as good as the first season? Probably not. But Mando no longer needs to carry the whole franchise on its shoulders and set the bar for how good the live action Disney Star Wars shows can be, because Andor exists, and it’s never gonna top Andor. The Mandalorian is free to just be a pulpy space adventure show where Giancarlo Esposito plays a scenery-chewing cartoon villain and a little puppet does wire stunts. These are things Andor cannot and should not do, but that’s Star Wars, baby. It’s delightful. I could watch Grogu get underhand tossed like a sack of flour all day.

July

7/2: Mobile Suit Gundam: The Witch from Mercury (Season 2) - LOVE WINS. (More nuanced take from way later: It definitely feels like a lot of the more messy political conflicts in this show got swept aside by the big final battle where some more easily resolved family conflicts take center stage. I’m not sure the ending is the most satisfying. But also this show only got half the episode count that damn near every other Gundam show ever made got, so that might be a factor here. Idk. Still one of my favorite Gundams.)

7/4: Final Fantasy XVI (watched Anthony play) - I had to write my longest Medium article ever about this one because I was so frustrated

7/10: Home Movies - “Things I like that I’ve never seen in full” has certainly been a recurring theme this year. Home Movies remains an all-time classic of animated comedy that went out on a high note before things got stale or the characters became parodies of themselves. While it’s mostly known for its funny improvised banter, throughout the last season you can really see the arc where Brendon no longer enjoys making movies, yet he feels obligated to keep using them to escape from the real world. In that light, the ending where the nature of their dysfunctional makeshift family is cemented, Brendon’s camera suddenly breaks, and life moves on really does feel like the perfect note to end on. Truly one of the best to ever do it.

7/15: The Legend of Zelda - Tears of the Kingdom - Wow. Just… wow. I had serious doubts about TotK in the months leading up to release due to how close Nintendo was playing their cards to their chest. I didn’t want this to be a Saints Row IV, where the game is fun enough but the recycled map makes it feel like a rehash. Instead, I found a game that made me look at BotW’s map in a whole new light, brimming with so many more things to do and people to meet. Add on a better, more versatile set of tools, more varied dungeons and bosses, and a story that I felt was told somewhat better and we’ve got a real contender for my new favorite Zelda game. It was hard to tear myself away, but as this list shows, it’s been basically the only game I’ve played since it came out.

7/16: Sonic Prime (Season 2) - I liked the parts with Shadow and Chaos Sonic, but I’ve come to the sad conclusion that most of this show is just mediocre. More thoughts here.

7/18: We ♥ Katamari Reroll + Royal Reverie - “I’m a dog, but I love Katamari Damacy.” Truer words have never been spoken.

7/19: Transformers: Rise of the Beasts - Pretty good! It didn’t blow me away, but after how bad the Bay movies got I’m just thankful to have a decently cohesive Transformers movie where the human story is okay and I like the bots (although half of them needed more screen time), even if it is just another Hollywood blockbuster about two sides fighting over a macguffin that devolves into a big CGI battle against an army of nameless monsters in the third act. This is basically a mid-tier MCU movie but with Transformers, which won’t do much for most people, but again: the bar was underground.

7/22: The Venture Bros.: Radiant is the Blood of the Baboon Heart - God DAMN. A phenomenal ending for the series. While I would have loved to see a full final season to get some more one-off episodes in there, this doesn’t feel creatively compromised in any way–either due to the time constraints, or due to a desire to make it more marketable as a movie. It really does feel like they just took their outlines for the canceled final season and gently massaged them into the shape of an 84-minute movie, and I mean that in the best possible way. It’s completely on par with the previous seasons. A hilarious and fitting sendoff for one of the greats of adult animation.

7/23: Beautiful Katamari - This was one of my first Xbox 360 games, but a frustrating temperature-based level made me put it down for 16 years. “Maybe it won’t be as bad now that I’ve beaten the first two games and am better at Katamari,” I thought. Nope! Still an absolutely dogshit level. But also, turns out the whole game is only like two hours long lmao. It’s still Katamari, so it’s still fun - the final level in particular, which seamlessly takes you from ground level all the way to space, feels like a logical endpoint for the series - but beyond that it just doesn't have the same soul without Keita Takahashi's input.

August

8/4: Doom Singer (Chris Farren) - I’ve been waiting so long for Chris and Jeff to do another Antarctigo Vespucci album, but god damn. This is the best of Chris’s solo work, and a contender for his best record, period. Every track’s a banger, with more energy than some of his previous solo work but also a good deal of variety. Favorite tracks: First Place, Cosmic Leash

8/4: Transformers Earthspark (Season 1) - This show had a bit of an uneven start, unsure if it wanted to have the emotional maturity of a more serious action cartoon or a preschool cartoon where the characters have little kid mood swings and outbursts and learn basic lessons. It also felt like it was speedrunning its Wholesome Found Family Dynamic with characters who just met, which didn’t feel earned. While these problems never completely go away (see: the cheap and corny way the otherwise very dark season finale suddenly resolves), the show improves quickly, and the positives outweigh the negatives. It’s so great to have a Transformers cartoon that feels fresh, giving us a post-war setting with a bunch of new characters and new dynamics between the Cybertronians and the humans. The returning characters are also uniformly great as the old veterans overseeing the new generation. (Reformed Megatron! Danny Pudi as Bumblebee! Steve Blum returning as Starscream! Keith David as Grimlock!!!) And those super dynamic action scenes! I can nitpick, but Earthspark’s a ton of fun, and easily the best new Transformers cartoon since Prime and Animated.

8/5: Ghost Trick: Phantom Detective (remaster) - Everyone who told me this game was a masterpiece was right. I had played the first chapter when it dropped as the demo for the iOS version years ago, but never went further than that until now. What a game. Absolutely incredible through and through. Great story, great twists, great characters, great puzzles, great art direction. Everything comes together so perfectly to form a totally unique, unforgettable package, a top tier video game murder mystery. Everyone should play this, preferably going in as blind as possible.

8/15: It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia (Season 16) - Wow! Recent seasons of Sunny have been kind of up and down, with some interesting experiments (Mac Finds His Pride, the Ireland arc, etc.) paired with some comedic duds. Most of this latest season is standard fare for the series with fewer big creative swings, but it’s just hit after hit in terms of comedy. Not a single dud, whether we’re seeing Mac and Dennis try to start a rental business for inflatable furniture or watching the gang meet Bryan Cranston and Aaron Paul, believing the entire time that the latter is Malcolm from Malcolm in the Middle. Even the attempts at topical comedy landed better. Easily the funniest season in years.

8/16: One Piece Film Gold - It’s easy to see why this one has kind of been forgotten in the wake of Stampede and Film Red, which revolve around established fan favorite characters, but this was still pretty fun. Perhaps a little too long, but it’s fun to see the Straw Hats fool around in a giant casino and do a heist. They definitely cranked the fanservice up even more than usual in this one, though, as I probably should have expected for a movie made alongside the anime’s adaptation of Dressrosa.

8/17: One Piece: Stampede - This one goes for a different kind of fanservice. While most One Piece movies are isolated from the ongoing plot and its expanded cast of characters, Stampede instead asks “What if we just put damn near every active character on the same island and had them fight?” The answer: a fun time! It would get old if all of the movies were like this, but after a bunch of movies that are just like “the Straw Hats are gonna land on another new island and fight some more weird guys” it’s fun to see characters like Law and Buggy and Smoker get in on the fun. It’s also nice to get a movie with the Wano era art style, and Usopp surprisingly gets some really good character moments in here.

8/18: One Piece Film Red - This really is the best of the One Piece movies, huh? (Baron Omatsuri is a close second.) It really feels like a change of pace after the last four with the most interesting and emotionally engaging story out of any of them. And even if the events of these movies are never canon, it still feels significant in my understanding of Shanks as a character as we move into the final phase of the manga.

8/21: Pikmin 4 - The opening hour of the game made me really question if they’d changed too much, with all the focus on your new dog unit over your Pikmin and the extremely dull, drawn out dialogue scenes with your new companions back at the base. But once I got into the swing of things I had a blast. This is probably my new favorite Pikmin game. There’s a great mix of activities here to keep things fresh. I also really ended up liking Oatchi’s role as basically your second captain who can also serve as your tank or a rideable mount. The Dandori stuff and nighttime missions in particular show off how useful Oatchi is for your multitasking without necessarily overshadowing the Pikmin.

8/22: Never Get Tired: The Bomb the Music Industry! Story - I literally backed this on Kickstarter eight years ago (my name is in the credits!) and then never got around to watching it for no reason. It’s on YouTube now, and Jeff’s got a new album out next week, so now feels like the perfect time to watch it. And man… what a great documentary. Obviously I’m just a fan of the band, but this also really spoke to me as an artist. Jeff wanting to stick to his principles and give out his music for free and play cheap all ages shows, his discomfort over the idea of selling merch, and the struggles that come with not playing the game like that… It's hard. They readily admit that Jeff is an idealist, that people fight him on this stuff, that he’s missed out on some big opportunities because of these stances, and that he’s had to compromise a bit on some of these things over time. But that incredible climax with their final show, including a full opening performance of the slowly building “Campaign for a Better Next Weekend” and the closing performance of “Future 86” where the whole audience is singing along as the members of the band are hugging and crying… it’s beautiful. This may have been a band where the members had to go back to their shitty day jobs after every tour because they weren’t selling out arenas, but their art meant something to people, and that makes it all worth it.

8/25: Nimona - I haven’t read the original comic (yet), so I can’t compare them too much, but it’s nonetheless pretty apparent that some things were softened and easy kids’ movie jokes were added by the studio to squeeze this graphic novel for teens into a PG animated movie. Regardless, the emotional throughline hits REALLY hard, particularly the very blatant trans allegory and the climax. (It’s no wonder Disney was afraid of this movie seeing the light of day lmao.) The animation is also very squishy and fun to watch throughout. Great movie.

8/26: Puss in Boots: The Last Wish - Spider-Verse really has done so much for animation, huh? This one was as good as everyone said. Beautiful use of stylized color and lighting throughout, and every time this movie very conspicuously shifted to different framerates for a flashy fight scene it owned. Very cute and heartwarming story, too, which thankfully gave its second act plenty of time to explore the cast and let them go on their journey, unlike a certain plumber movie that came out a few months later. Also I would let Death [redacted]

8/28: Holocure: Save the Fans! - This isn't really something I can beat, but I've been addicted to Holocure lately. I don't even watch VTubers aside from maybe seeing a funny Korone animation every now and then, this is just a really, really good freeware Vampire Survivors clone with a huge roster of varied characters to pick from.

8/31: HELLMODE (Jeff Rosenstock) - A new album from Jeff is always a major event for me. If there were any worries that he was starting to go soft at 40 (because one of the three singles off this album was a gentle acoustic piece), the frantic opening of this album put those worries to rest. The first two tracks are Jeff screaming out for help as he’s pulled in a million directions by the chaotic state of the world, a theme that becomes the thesis of the album. I’d say it lags slightly in the middle, but overall this is another extremely well-rounded record full of bangers that’s unapologetically Jeff, with possibly my favorite closing track he’s ever done. Favorite tracks: I WANNA BE WRONG, 3 SUMMERS

September

9/3: One Piece (live action, Season 1) - They did it. I can’t believe it, but they did it. While I have my nitpicks (Usopp and Sanji don’t get enough big moments to shine), this is an extremely solid and faithful adaptation of the first few arcs of One Piece with a great cast. For the most part the changes feel smart and logical, and the big emotional beats of the story are all there and executed very well. I doubted it a little in episodes 2-4, where the Orange Town and Syrup Village arcs saw some major changes to shift the action indoors, and the increased focus on the drama in favor of repeating every gag and battle from the manga 1:1 took a bit of getting used to, but by the end I was having a blast. It’s a different take on One Piece, but it still feels like One Piece. Genuinely very excited for season 2.

9/4: Pseudoregalia - A great little N64-style 3D Metroidvania focused on platforming and very satisfying movement. I always love entries in the genre that are less prescriptive in what order you have to tackle areas in, a la Symphony of the Night or Hollow Knight, and this one’s great in that regard. While there are a number of new moves to find, most of the map is open to you very early in the game, and smart use of your moveset can allow you to “sequence break” without even realizing it. (You would not believe how long I went without getting the wall run.) I do wish it had a map, but that’s already being patched in.

9/6: Bomb Rush Cyberfunk * - Not a bad game at all, but I quickly remembered how bad I am at skating games, so like… eh? Not sure I have much desire to play past chapter 2. Also the soundtrack is sadly kinda hit or miss for me outside of the obvious Naganuma tunes.

9/9: The History of the Minnesota Vikings (Dorktown) - Jon Bois never misses. Even as someone who doesn’t actively follow sports, Jon Bois is a master storyteller, using graphs and statistics and funny anecdotes to explore these deeply human stories. He can convey why people care so much about these teams, these people, and sports in general, and how our popular sports reflect on American culture. He could tell the story of just about any team or player in any sport and I just know I’ll come out the other side a misty-eyed fan. And what a fascinating cast of characters we have this time, with origin stories for everything from the Hail Mary pass to a Minnesota state supreme court judge to the Griddy. Nine hours well spent.

9/10: Timespinner - A fun and highly polished Metroidvania that maybe doesn’t quite have enough of its own identity in its quest to replicate Symphony of the Night…but also, like, this was pitched as a Symphony throwback on KickStarter in a pre-Bloodstained, pre-Hollow Knight world, so I can’t really blame ‘em! Stopping time to avoid boss attacks is fun, the pixel art is gorgeous, and I liked the dark science fantasy story about warring empires and meddling with time a lot more than I thought I would - lore journal text dumps and all.

9/14: The Decay of Sam & Cat (Quinton Reviews) - All the stuff at the end with Matt Bennett (the actor who played Robbie on Victorious and Sam & Cat) in this was really good and sweet. It’s that kind of thing that makes these videos feel like they’re still worthwhile on some level. But the padding and the things Quinton chooses to spend the colossal runtime on does drive me more and more insane with each passing Nick sitcom video. I don’t know how much longer he can keep this schtick up. I hope he’s able to move on to other things before too terribly long instead of continuing to extend this “miniseries.”

9/19: Marvel’s Spider-Man: Miles Morales - AKA Insomniac’s Marvel’s Spider-Man 1.5. It’s fun for the same reasons Peter’s first game was fun. I had a good time swinging around New York again in preparation for the sequel, and there’s a lot of cute stuff with Miles becoming Harlem’s neighborhood hero, but WOW did the Underground v. Roxxon conflict fall flat for me.

9/20: I Think You Should Leave with Tim Robinson - I understand so many posts now.

9/25: Spider-Man (2002) (rewatch) - It’s you who’s out, Gobby! OUT OF YOUR MIND!

9/25: Futurama (Season 8) - I was ready to be a hater, recalling the fact that Futurama has already had three “perfect endings” with the show getting a little weaker with every revival. Then I watched the first new episode on a whim and thought it wasn’t bad, so I was like, eh, sure, I’ll watch the rest. Overall Hulurama is hit or miss. There are chuckles to be had, and it sure as hell beats modern Simpsons, but almost every episode is either a belated take on an overplayed Topical Issue (the pandemic, Amazon, cancel culture, etc.) or a direct sequel to an old episode people liked. Or both! It’s also really noticeable that certain voice actors sound way older - Billy West is struggling with the Fry voice in particular, and it hurts his comedic timing. But just when all hope seemed lost after the nigh-incomprehensible toy-themed anthology episode, possibly the worst episode of the entire series… the last episode, where the Planet Express crew explores whether or not the universe could be a simulation, was really, really solid. Great note to end on to make me not regret my time with this season as a whole.

9/26: Spider-Man 2 (2004) (rewatch) - Once the GOAT, always the GOAT.

9/27: Spider-Man 3 (rewatch) - Revisiting this movie for the first time since I saw it in theaters… it’s not bad. It’s fine! It continues to have the heart and sincerity that make the first two movies work. It’s just not as concise with three villains vying for the spotlight, but I also wouldn’t cut any of them, necessarily. I guess Eddie/Venom would be the easiest, but Peter getting the black suit and giving in to his resentment feels too central to cut. (Yes, even with Emo Peter becoming a meme.)

9/28: Adventure Time: Fionna and Cake - I wasn’t really sure what to expect with this one, especially since I was never really a fan of the genderbend episodes in the original show. (At the time they mostly just felt like an excuse to crank up the teen romance stuff to 11.) But MAN. This was a fantastic coda to the original series. It made me care about Fionna and Cake and their friends as their own characters separate from their original counterparts, it gave the Simon/Betty arc a much more satisfying (if no less bittersweet) resolution than the original finale had time to do, and it even managed to be a multiverse story that didn’t make me roll my eyes in 2023. A+ all around. Makes me wanna rewatch the original show again. [spoiler: I did]

9/29: Meanwhile (aivi & surasshu) - It’s been a whole decade–they were busy with, you know, all the music in Steven Universe, among other things–but we finally have a new aivi & surasshu album! Their chiptune/piano fusion style is familiar, but they’ve definitely grown as composers in subtle ways. Favorite track: Time Travel

October

10/1: This is Financial Advice (Folding Ideas) - A lot of the nitty gritty finance law stuff turned into white noise for me, but still, great video. I had no idea that the GameStop stock craze devolved into this bizarre cult that thinks they’re going to crash the global economy and rise from the ashes as the new kings with the value of their GME stocks. Glad this video exists to try and balance out the narrative.

10/5: Sonic Frontiers: The Final Horizon DLC - Good ideas, absurdly frustrating and tedious execution. Full thoughts here.

10/10: Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse (rewatch) - I didn’t plan this, but very fitting that I would end up rewatching this on 10/10.

10/12: Half-Life Alyx but the Gnome is Self-Aware (wayneradiotv) - ha he! (Seriously though, that finale was a fucking masterpiece. The RTVS crew has an incredible knack for using the framing device of video game livestreams to blur the lines between comedy and horror, or ironic anti-humor and complete sincerity. I’ve never seen anything else like this.)

10/15: Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse - Not sure how much I can say that hasn’t already been said. The most visually creative movie I’ve ever seen, grounded by some really excellent storytelling about Miles (and now Gwen) that’s probably better than his actual comics. But it also does feel like it’s about to end and then the movie just keeps going like ten times over lmao. Can’t wait to watch this a second time on a better TV.

10/20: Sonic Superstars - A mostly really solid and fun 2D Sonic game that’s unfortunately dragged down by an extremely hodgepodge soundtrack and some overly drawn out boss fights. I spent HOURS trying to beat the final boss of the bonus scenario (which is required for the true ending in this one) before giving up. Really a shame that that’s the note I’m leaving the game on, because I otherwise enjoyed it, but ah well. More thoughts here.

10/27: Marvel’s Spider-Man 2 - Another good Spider-Man game from Insomniac. Liked the story more than the one in Miles Morales, but maybe not as much as the first game. Extensive thoughts here.

10/28: Venom - Was in the mood for more Venom after the game. As expected this was not a very good movie, but the dynamic between Eddie and Venom made it a fun watch. Tom Hardy is constantly about to shit his pants in this movie. It’s great.

10/28: Venom: Let There Be Carnage - I had a way better time with this one. Is this a good movie? No. But it cranks the insanity of the first movie up to 11. Goofy as fuck in an extremely watchable way.

November

11/5: Pluto - An absolutely masterful series that anyone interested in sci-fi needs to watch. The anime adaptation was great, and I immediately understand why people who’ve read the manga speak so highly of it. Really makes me want to get into Astro Boy more, and also read some of Urasawa’s other works.

11/18: Scott Pilgrim Takes Off - Wow, just wow. When news of a Scott Pilgrim anime broke I was cautiously curious to see if we’d get a more direct adaptation of the comics, and instead it veered off in the exact opposite direction in the best way possible. This is almost entirely a different story, one that’s in conversation with the previous versions (sometimes in very meta ways), and I think it’s really valuable to see O’Malley revisiting these characters with new things to say about them. The major story divergence gives us a chance to examine the characters from a new angle - particularly Ramona, who’s the real protagonist of this version, and the evil exes, who completely steal the show. This was a great reminder of why I fell in love with this series as a teenager. I now genuinely hope we get more Scott Pilgrim.

11/22: Void Rivals (Issues #1 - #6) - The first arc of the new Robert Kirkman series that kicked off Skybound’s new “Energon Universe” is now complete, and I’m left thinking Void Rivals is… okay? I thought the first issue was a decent (if not particularly original) sci-fi comic with an appealing art style, which just so happens to also briefly have a Transformer in it so there can be a Big Surprise. And the series still hasn’t quite shaken that feeling to me. It’s an okay sci-fi series that arbitrarily dedicates a couple of pages of every issue to something from Transformers, but I’m not really sure what the shared universe stuff adds to Void Rivals, or what Void Rivals adds to Transformers and GI Joe. I guess we’ll have to wait and see.

11/22: Journey to EPCOT Center: A Symphonic History (Defunctland) - Yeah, gotta be honest, I only got halfway through this one. It seems like Kevin just 1) really wanted to push himself creatively and 2) make a love letter to Epcot, and while I respect that, I think it suffers as a historical documentary. It’s Fantasia but for the creation of Epcot. That might be very impressive on a technical level, but it feels more like a piece of Disney propaganda than prior Defunctland videos due to a lack of context and nuance. 

11/24: Aperture Desk Job - A short, sweet, and funny little tech demo for my new Steam Deck set in the Portal universe. More effort was definitely put into this than was strictly necessary.

11/26: ESCHATOS - I am not good at bullet hell games, but I enjoy them from time to time and I really love this one’s FM synth soundtrack, so I picked it up on a whim in the Steam sale. I only beat it on Easy, but still, I had a lot of fun with it! It’s straightforward but very flashy, with the camera dynamically zooming around from set piece to set piece at ridiculous speeds and each level segueing directly into the next. The lack of a powerup system on the main mode in favor of just needing to know when to use your different shot types makes it feel very approachable.

11/27: Lunistice - A great little 3D platformer with a good soundtrack that I had fun hunting down all the secrets in. This is an easy recommendation for fans of games like Kirby or Klonoa - whimsical games set in colorful dream worlds where the underlying story can get a bit more somber. (Although the story in this one is mostly told through mildly cryptic lore dumps, so your mileage there may vary.)

11/28: Spark the Electric Jester 2 - The leap from 2D to 3D here is impressive, but this is very clearly a rough draft for Spark 3. Very, very fun Sonic-style 3D platforming, but the combat is lacking and the storytelling is just kinda bad. More extensive thoughts on this and the above two games here.

December

12/2: Fortnite (Chapter 4) - This was my first full chapter of Fortnite, after having been roped into the game by the siren songs of Zero Build mode and Goku during Chapter 3. This means it’s harder for me to compare this chapter to previous ones, but still, Fortnite remains a genuinely very well made Battle Royale shooter that’s a blast with friends. If I have any complaint about this Chapter, it’s that they would regularly introduce zany ideas and then slowly reel them back in, whether it was the Augment system or the increasingly mundane movement items. It also felt like it was a little too easy to get the perfect loadout in every match, meaning the final showdown would almost always be against players with Slurp Juice and gold shotguns. And I missed the smaller mid-season map updates of Chapter 3. But overall I still had a really good time, and look forward to playing more for the foreseeable future.

12/4: Plagiarism and You(Tube) (HBomberguy) - This will get written off by many as “YouTuber drama,” but this really is an excellent video essay that feels like the kick in the pants that YouTube needs. If video essayists are gonna be a major source of information for so many, then they gotta have standards. I also think it does a good job of highlighting the people that have been plagiarized and trying to drive more attention their way in an attempt to right those wrongs.

12/6: Transformers (Skybound comic) - We only got the first three issues of this in 2023, but I just HAVE to say something about how incredible this series is here. Daniel Warren Johnson is knocking it out of the park. This is the new bar for Transformers. The hand-inked art is extremely dynamic and full of character, and the story is using the familiar beats of G1 Transformers but doing very new things with them. You can tell this from the very first page, but the emotional scene of Optimus accidentally crushing a deer in the forest and realizing how fragile life is on Earth sealed the deal for me. And yet in the very same comics Optimus can do suplexes and clotheslines and lord knows how many other wrestling moves on Decepticons, and it doesn’t feel like tonal whiplash? These comics just fucking rule, and anyone with even the slightest interest in Transformers should be reading them.

12/8: What We Do in the Shadows (Season 5) - [spoilers] WWDITS has very much settled into being a status quo show. Every season has its own little arc where one or two things change to keep things interesting, but then everything returns to normal by the end. Guillermo finally becoming a vampire, only to become a human again in the end, might just be the most egregious example of this yet. But also… the show’s still really funny? And I continue to be happy that Kristen Schaal has stuck around as a series regular as the Guide. So it’s hard to complain. I could see the show running out of steam over the next few seasons, but it’s still hitting for me right now.

12/12: Pony Island - Finally got around to this since the trailer for the sequel dropped. I feel like playing this years later in a post-Inscryption world where Pony Island is a known quantity kind of lessens its impact, but still, it’s a fun and funny puzzle game where you try to hack your way out of a possessed arcade machine. I’m not sure I found it particularly scary, but I’m not sure it’s supposed to be? The way the game messes with you during the Asmodeus “boss fight” was probably the highlight for me. I also like being able to say things like “The part where you have to not kill Jesus was so hard. I kept getting terrible butterfly patterns.”

12/16: Breaking Bad VR but the AI is Self-Aware (wayneradiotv) - As always, Wayne and co.’s commitment to the bit is unrivaled. This kind of got interpreted as just a way to troll HLVRAI fans, but so many moments in this genuinely made me laugh out loud.

12/18: Soul of Sovereignty Prelude - As someone who would list Cucumber Quest as a big creative influence, I was naturally very excited for this first chapter of GGDG’s new visual novel. Their mentality of both scaling things back in terms of labor while also going more shamelessly self-indulgent in terms of storytelling after burning out on making webcomics has really spoken to me, and WOW, the end result of that new process of theirs is shaping up to be something really special. The art and music are sparse but extremely evocative, giving you the rough sketch of the world and letting your mind fill in the rest. The story blends literary high fantasy vibes with the style of fantasy seen in ‘90s JRPGs (you can definitely tell this came from an idea for an RPG), but rather than constantly winking at the audience and making self-aware video game references it plays these storytelling ideas extremely sincerely, giving them real dramatic weight while still indulging in fun tropes to their fullest extent. While it’s a far cry from their most famous work with much more mature content, GGDG always excels at creating characters and worlds that immediately grab me. I can’t wait for the rest.

12/18: Barbie - I’m only… what, five months late for the whole Barbenheimer thing? Perfect timing. Anyway! On the one hand, I get the critiques saying that this movie is just a major corporation funding a self-aware feminist critique of their own product as a marketing ploy. And I kinda agree with that. And the movie is a little too long, and I don’t really know what to think of the way the Barbie/Ken conflict plays out. Anthony asked me to summarize what the story ended up being about, and I had no idea what to even say. But also… I did still like the movie? We don’t get a lot of cartoonish, absurdist, fourth wall breaking comedies like this anymore, and this is a good one of those. Also the whole cast is great, the set design is kind of stunning, and the cinematography is consistently appealing. I wouldn’t say it’s a revolutionary work of feminist filmmaking by any stretch, but it’s a good comedy movie.

12/21: Dr. Stone: New World - Man, Dr. Stone is great. I’ve said this many times, but I just love that this series uses all the trappings of shounen that would normally be used to hype up the protagonist learning a new move to instead hype up things like the protagonist building a loom or a hot air balloon. It’s shounen Bill Nye. I didn’t completely love everything about the Treasure Island arc this season, but it all built towards a really fun climax with a lot of satisfying turnabouts where the heroes use their ingenuity to just barely win.

12/23: The History of Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out World Records (Summoning Salt) - Truly one of my favorite Summoning Salt videos ever, even with how repetitive Punch-Out can get to watch. It’s just so hard to beat “and that runner… was me.”

12/24: Super Mario Bros. Wonder - What more can be said that hasn’t already been said? It’s the best and most creative 2D Mario game since the ‘90s. The only real flaws are that it’s a little easy, the Search Party stages are annoying in singleplayer, and I wish that every boss prior to the final boss wasn’t just some form of Bowser Jr. fight. But those aren’t nearly enough to drag the whole experience down. It was a blast.

12/24: Do a Powerbomb! - Got this from Anthony as a birthday present. This is the previous series by the creative team currently doing the new Transformers comics I was gushing about a few entries ago. Even with the high bar set by those comics, Do a Powerbomb! exceeded my expectations. Holy shit. An absolutely entrancing fantasy wrestling miniseries full of dynamic, energetic action and tons of heart. These comics where a guy wrestles a giant talking orangutan almost made me cry. Twice. An instant favorite.

12/25: Adventure Time (rewatch) - We ended up finishing our rewatch of Adventure Time (the main series, anyway) on my 30th birthday, which feels appropriate. I already kinda knew this, but this rewatch has truly confirmed that Adventure Time is my favorite TV series of all time. The entire show is even better on a full series rewatch. In hindsight, even parts that annoyed me when they aired end up being important parts of the beautiful tapestry that is this series. The many low points of Finn’s adolescent love life are important stepping stones in his growth as a person, which leaves him in an extremely satisfying place by the end. Jake having kids didn’t get to be a huge status quo change because they grew up instantly, but then they did a bunch of fun episodes about Jake’s relationships with his adult children that deepened him as a character. And most of the big lore questions they kept teasing over the years (“Where’d the humans go?” “Who are Finn’s parents?” “When’s Finn gonna get a robot arm?” etc.) ended up getting satisfying and creative answers, because the show left itself the room to figure those things out later. This is a truly special, one-of-a-kind series, one that lasted nearly 300 episodes and yet still seems like it was over too soon. And yes, I did in fact cry during the final montage, like I knew I would. I will always cherish this show with all of my heart.

12/25: Olive the Other Reindeer (rewatch) - Haven’t seen this one since I was a kid! It was a favorite of mine back then, and while it might not be quite as funny as I remember it’s still very cute, with a 2D/3D hybrid art style that remains very unique and appealing. As an adult I can also appreciate the cast they got for this, with like half the cast of Futurama bolstered by guests like Michael Stipe from REM and The Sopranos’ Joe Pantoliano.

12/26: Guillermo Del Toro’s Pinocchio - Anthony and I capped off our Christmas with the most jolly and festive stop motion movie of all! Jokes aside, man, what a beautiful movie. The animation is immaculate, and we really just don’t get children’s animated films like this anymore. Ones that overtly feature real world politics and religion and so many other dark themes in a way that doesn’t talk down to kids or sugarcoat things. This one hits hard. We need more movies like this.

12/31: Oppenheimer - This was an interesting one. Despite being three hours, the way that first hour jumps around in time makes it feel like Oppenheimer is constantly being propelled forward through life at a breakneck pace, swept up by the rising tide of nationalism in spite of his personal left wing politics, never really reflecting on what he’s doing until it’s too late. Then when he’s no longer useful to the empire, he’s chewed up and spat out, only to eventually be honored as a national hero as a symbolic gesture. It’s a compelling story. However, I’m a little torn on how certain aspects of history were framed. Does the abstraction of the bombings detract from the true weight of those events, in favor of sympathizing with the man who built the bomb? Or is it clever a way to show how the realities of the war were compartmentalized away by people who were complicit in its most heinous acts of violence? One minute a bunch of physicists are talking theory, thousands of miles away from the theaters of war, and the next they’ve killed 200,000 people. So which is it? Eh, probably somewhere in the middle, I guess. But I liked it overall.

12/31: Kirby’s Return to Dream Land Deluxe - I’ve been really surprised by how good this rerelease is. It kind of flew under the radar for me. I liked the original game, but at the time it also almost felt like the New Super Mario Bros. of Kirby. It was a straightforward throwback game where you went through a grass world, then a desert world, then a water world, etc., and also they added four player co-op. But returning to this one after the kinda mid Star Allies has made me appreciate just how solid RtDL is as a Kirby game. I really like the updated graphics, too - yes, even the new cel shaded outlines around the characters - even though I didn’t think it looked that great in screenshots. Also the two new copy abilities (Sand and Mecha) are fun, the minigame collection is shockingly fleshed out to the point that they could’ve sold it as a standalone eShop game, the collectible character masks are fun, and the new epilogue mode where you play as Magolor is one of the coolest bonus modes they’ve ever done. This is a top tier Kirby remake any fan of the series should check out.

Ongoing things I followed in 2023 that don't have a blurb:

Halo Infinite multiplayer

IDW Sonic the Hedgehog (main series + specials)

One Piece

Chainsaw Man

My Hero Academia (not caught up)

The JOJOlands (not caught up)

Things I started in 2023 that I still need to finish:

Freedom Planet 2

Hi-Fi Rush

Live A Live

Super Monkey Ball: Banana Mania

Star Wars Jedi: Fallen Order

Picross 3D Round 2

Rhythm Heaven MegaMix

Mega Man Battle Network 5: Team ProtoMan

Ratchet & Clank: Rift Apart

Spark the Electric Jester 3

Sonic Dream Team

One Piece (Wano arc, anime)

Jujutsu Kaisen season 2 (I’ve already read the Shibuya arc already in the manga, though)

Astro Boy (2003 anime)

Futurama (original run rewatch)

One Piece (manga reread)

The Amazing Spider-Man (Lee/Ditko era)

Scott Pilgrim series (reread)

And finally... my favorites of 2023!!!

Overall favorite game: The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom

Favorite indie game: Pseudoregalia

Games remastered in 2023 that are now among my all-time faves: Ghost Trick: Phantom Detective, We Love Katamari

Most pleasant surprise in gaming: The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog

Favorite film: Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse

Favorite live action show: Barry

Favorite anime: Pluto

Favorite anime written by a Canadian guy and an American guy based on the Canadian guy's old graphic novel series: Scott PIlgrim Takes Off

Favorite live action adaptation of an anime that I still can't believe they didn't fuck up: One Piece

Favorite Western cartoon: Adventure Time: Fionna & Cake

Favorite older cartoon I only got around to watching in its entirety this year: The Venture Bros.

Favorite documentary: Double Fine PsychOdyssey

Favorite semi-improvised semi-scripted absurdist comedy/horror/tragedy Twitch livestream performance art thing: Half-Life Alyx but the Gnome is Self-Aware finale (wayneradiotv)

Favorite manga: Chainsaw Man

Favorite older manga that I only read this year: Berserk

Favorite Western comic book: Daniel Warren Johnson's Transformers

Favorite album: HELLMODE (Jeff Rosenstock)

And that's a wrap!!!!! Happy new year, everyone! Here's to me maybe actually reading a goddamn book this year

#bobby writes #i don't have a writing tag so i'm making one now to save this and other things

[lttawnymadison]

TGCF Revised Version Afterword by MXTX

Since I kept seeing snippets of this, I wanted to read the whole thing for myself. I'd already bought the book on JJWXC and did an MTL for this. It's so wonderful that she's back and sharing new things and that the revised is finally done! - Tawny --------------------------------------------- The author has something to say:

Seeing the small red clay stove again.

———— Afterword of "Heaven Official's Blessing" 2022

■ Finally done!

Long time no see! It's another afterword starting with "finally." Without further ado, seasoned readers would know that I make substantial revisions. For instance, scenes like the Bai Feng Mountain Hunt and the ending recognition of Sizhui in the serial version of "Mo Dao Zu Shi" were not originally there.

The revisions in "Heaven Official's Blessing" are the most extensive of all my works. It was a huge project, as it is also the longest in terms of length, serialized over eight months. Due to poor health and other reasons, the revision process was interrupted for a long time before I picked it up again, and it sporadically took about five to six months over several years.

In the era of web novels, there are endless new entertainments, and honestly, not many people re-read a story. Plus, some problems in the serialized version are structural and can't be changed, but I still tried my best to address my regrets. After all, when I was serializing it, I was almost always in a feverish and sick state, barely pushing through. Additionally, I often enjoy comparing different versions of my favorite authors' works back and forth, finding pleasure in the process. So, for readers, discovering "Wow, this part has changed!" is like starting a new journey with Easter eggs in a second round.

■ The new revised version includes about 100,000 words of new content!

These 100k words are mainly concentrated in the latter half of Volume 1 and Volume 3, but there are plenty scattered throughout the text. For example, I fulfilled a promise to A-Hua, giving him several new outfits. Seeing A-Hua dressed beautifully in a new hairstyle to meet his gege made me happy.

In terms of the intensity of revisions, personally, I feel it goes like this:

Volume 1 and Volume 2 > Volume 3 > Volume 5 > Volume 4.

Additionally, the new version cuts some redundant words and plots that weren't very meaningful. However, I tried to keep all the original interactions between Hua Lian as complete as possible. If some minor interactions are missing, they weren't deleted but moved around.

■ One day, I suddenly dug out something.

An antique from 2017, a folder called "Heaven Official's Blessing Setting Collection."

Curiously, I opened it and read with interest.

● Comparing the original setting outline and the main text, the highest fidelity is in the main storyline between Hua Cheng and Xie Lian.

A-Hua, restored at a ratio of 1:100.

Hua's character setting is the most detailed, and virtually every point made it into the main text, including details like "ghosts don't like the sun, so Hua Cheng sometimes drapes a red cloth over his head"...

Points not used, listed a few:

As a child:

· After being saved from falling off a city wall, he foolishly followed a parade over and over again, grabbing people to ask, "Who is that? Who is that person?" People told him, "That's the royal son, the future Celestial God, the most outstanding Crown Prince of Xianle Nation ever!"

(This point couldn't be used because in the text A-Hua was held in the Crown Prince's arms after being saved)

· At home, he was often punished to stand or kneel, not given food, and wore old clothes, accused of stealing money. Whenever he argued with his family, he would stubbornly sleep in the Prince's temple overnight.

· Went to Mount Tai Cang to volunteer sweeping red leaves at Huangji Observatory, just to sneak peeks at his future wife happily swinging.

After becoming the ghost king:

· One of his hobbies is buying and building houses everywhere.

· Very protective of his leather boots, would (badly) polish them until they shone.

· To other devout followers of Xie Lian, he said: "You have good taste."

· Secretly prepared many betrothal gifts for his beloved god, wanting to marry him!

The character setting of Xie Lian as a teacher in the serialized version compared to the initial draft, the serialized text subtly differs. The initial draft was more... exquisite and elegant, very serious. The serialized text is more... humorous. I think perhaps because some plot points were tragic, Xie Lian thought he should be happier to make the readers more relaxed, so he drove me to adjust his mental state! But due to the spiritual oppression at that time, the character's depth was not enough, while in the new revised version, I hope he can show a more self-content state on the same core basis.

Excerpts from the unused original setting:

· Super easy-going. Easy-going means: if given fifty bucks, he would happily dress in drag and dance. Accepts haggling. Thirty bucks works. Twenty bucks too!

· The observatory is small, the house is broken, wants to grow flowers. Leaks during rain, so he uses a bucket to catch rainwater.

· Because he can't afford a caretaker, he cleans himself, and also feeds chickens. Chickens eat flowers. Keeps a cat.

· Completely engrossed in discussing serious matters, he unknowingly finished all the broken sweet dumplings!

● Water, Earth, Wind original setting:

The highest fidelity is the main line between Hua Cheng and Xie Lian, followed by the Water, Earth, Wind subplot.

The main conflict hasn't changed. Just... how could the original setting of Water, Earth, Wind be so dark and terrifying!

The character morals in the main text improved a lot, otherwise, the original Black Water would be sheer scheming + murderous! The ending for the Wind Master would have been more tragic.

The Venerable of Empty Words suddenly became an improvised character. It seemed like an ancient fable-like monster, making the main text more interesting than the original setting.

Overall, the formal version is a bit better written than the original draft.

● The unfortunate life of Lang Ying:

Lang Ying? Is there such a character? I don't remember!

Ah? It seems there was such a person, but I don't remember any of his plotlines.

This is most people's feeling towards the character of Lang Ying. It's not a delusion because he barely had any significant plot. In fact, any valuable scenes could have been replaced equivalently, so in the new revised version, I deleted this character.

But, in the 2017 setting collection, I suddenly found that I had actually opened a separate document for Lang Ying, and his role was defined as a "growing-type BOSS!"

I was silent.

And immediately opened the document, curious about my initial setting. A "growing-type BOSS," how did he become someone whose deletion went unnoticed...? (I even don't know how to address him!)

Who knows, perhaps out of excitement, I accidentally pressed the wrong shortcut, and somehow it became irreversible, leaving only an empty document for me to stare in disbelief. The once "growing-type BOSS" has now forever become a mystery!

This is the unfortunate life of the deleted Lang Ying.

· There was another document in the setting collection called "Swordsmith." I opened the document and read it with interest.

I was shocked. Because I completely forgot I had conceived this story. Why didn't I write it?!

Darn.

I know why I didn't write it. This story... it had no ending!

——————— Thus, the magical glimpse into the "Heaven Official's Blessing Setting Collection" concludes!

■ I like men with stories!

Maybe because I watched an outstanding work as a child. It was a memoir, the protagonist in the biography was gentle and affable, and the protagonist in the memories was cold and ruthless. The story was scattered with the poignant fragrance of white plum blossoms amidst bloody and stormy circumstances.

This almost perfect work deeply influenced my aesthetics, leading me to be most interested in the memory parts of characters in various works. Although many viewers prefer the present scenes, often asking when the memories will end, I actually find these intense and painful memories to be the most fascinating!

A story is the history of a character, as well as the key to their personality. A person with a story stands before me like a puzzle. The way to solve this puzzle is to understand their story. Because the biography makes one curious to know more about a character they like, loving them more now because of their past. When serializing "Heaven Official," my greatest pain initially was telling myself, "This time I don't want to write a memory slaughter," deliberately trying to avoid a structure similar to previous works, yet I still hadn't found a better way to express it, resulting in my deep dissatisfaction with the later part of Volume 1. I was also hesitant to fully commit to the memory scenes in Volume 2, and with the heavy mental burden, this part was very painful to write. When revising, looking at Volume 2 was almost unbearable, because I'm the type of person who, as a child, would immediately switch channels when a TV show's protagonist was about to be wrongfully accused or embarrassed. I couldn't help but knock on a friend's door and ask:

Me: Was the author suffering some kind of mental trauma at the time? This negative energy is too horrifying, the protagonist is so pitiful, I really admire anyone who could read through Volume 2 completely.

Friend: Do you even have the right to say that?

But the memory slaughter in Volume 4 was much freer, written in one breath, so the revisions for this volume were also the least.

So, will you still write large segments of memory slaughter?

Um, well, we'll see, haha, hehe...

■ Closing Remarks:

Lastly, I'll address the question some asked me, "Will the new revised 'Heaven Official's Blessing' be more torturous?"

Me: You're talking nonsense. 'Heaven Official's Blessing' is a sweet pampering story, thank you!

Acknowledgments:

Shi Nai'an wrote in the preface to "Water Margin": "On snowy nights, about five or six people listen to my storytelling; on rainy days, about seven or eight; on bright and sunny days, about ten. I read, everyone listens, and we are all happy, with no other thoughts." When I read this as a young person, I was delighted. What divine days! Writing first to entertain oneself, then to entertain others. Self-expression and self-acceptance are certainly primary, but the affection of others is also a significant positive feedback. Thus, first, I thank the steadfast readers who have accompanied me all this time. I've thought about just walking away amidst the noisy disputes; abandoning the account amidst the tumultuous world! It seems not bad. But looking back, I can't bear to leave some truly sincere readers.

I've had authors I liked disappear from the internet, and I always feel like a part of my youth has vanished, a feeling quite distressing, reminiscent of overly grand and harsh things like the tears of the era or the torrent of history. So, I want to accompany my readers as long as possible, hoping that the day of parting comes later. Perhaps I'm not good enough now, but I will strive to be better in the future. Or perhaps you've never truly understood what kind of person I am, or even completely misunderstood me, but as long as you genuinely like my stories, we can sit down and chat.

And, I must mention my friends, who can be described as having the courage of a hero. Long time no see, Teacher Changyang's illustrations are still as beautiful as those of a celestial being, I hope Teacher CAS can go to bed earlier and worry less, and Teacher Kuohao, who despite a heavy workload, still fully honored our agreement. The "Heaven Official's Blessing" radio drama is really fantastic! It reminded me of the original intention of writing this story, and I was very moved. If it weren't for the silent companionship and efforts of these old friends, Mo Xiang Tong Xiu might have stopped writing back in 2016, disappearing from the world of martial arts, and thus, "Heaven Official's Blessing" would not have been born. I look forward to retracing the paths we once walked together when gathering ideas. And many friends who reached out to help and encourage me, thank you for accompanying me through the snowy nights.

#tgcf #tian guan ci fu #hob #heaven official's blessing #墨香铜臭 #mxtx #mo xiang tong xiu #天官赐福 #tgcf revised version #mine

[krashlite]

Again, if you found this before the Start Post or TIES’ post, go back and read! I’m going through and analyzing the matching wounds for each LimL alliance

Continuing off of TIES’ section; they all had a shaky past with Bdubs, so it’s really no surprise they ended up in conflict with the Clockers

But speaking of the Clockers, let’s look at them next. For the Clockers, all three of them have issues with day 1 crews, on how they focus on this randomized group above all else. Except they have different issues regarding it

There was a lot of Bdubs slander in the TIES section so let’s start with him. I’ve already mentioned that he’s very headstrong, but he Is well meaning. For the Crastle, he was acting in defense of Cleo and everyone who sought shelter in their walls. For the snow fort, he was acting in defense of Etho, seeing team BEST as a conduit for this. In DL he poured his heart and soul into his alliance with Impulse. The connection with these three is also shown symbolically- remember, it’s canon that he was married to all three in their respective seasons! His loyalties lay with them above all else, and everything he did was always done For Them

(And yes, the marriage thing makes it Hella Weird with LimL introducing family dynamics. Personally, I go chronologically with things. If the marriage was introduced Before the family dynamics, the marriage is what I go with. If the family dynamics were introduced Before the marriage, the family dynamics are what I go with. It’s not perfect, especially with SL calling back to LimL, but moving on)

But with him pouring everything into defending his One Person, he has a bad habit of either disregarding or outright hurting other allies. In his mind, once they’ve become a threat, they will always Be a threat to him and his One Person.

In 3L, I would argue the firing squad wasn’t about the helmet, but about Dare to Flare, the deadly minigame Tango had set up as a loophole for murder. Bdubs thought the lesson would be learned and Tango would just. Go back to being their ally, but he didn’t see that he’d just pushed Tango away. Bdubs was also quick to catch that Impulse was playing all sides, losing his trust in him even as Cleo wanted to keep Impulse as a double agent.

Bdubs went along with it for her, the same way he went along with other alliances that Cleo had decided to negotiate. But when Cleo was gone before him, he was completely lost! The moments after Cleo’s death are honestly HARROWING from Bdubs’s point of view. One moment they’re talking, the next Cleo is attacking Ren and is struck down. Bdubs is surrounded, he is alone, and is made to understand that nobody is coming to save him, not even Impulse, who was present for this! I think a part of him blames Impulse specifically for Cleo’s death, with Impulse failing to act against Dogwarts in that moment. It’s irrational as hell but that’s where he’s at. Impulse was playing all sides and, in Bdubs’ mind, had just cost him the One Person Bdubs truly cared about

So again, OF COURSE he turned on Impulse!! He had zero reason to trust him!!

In LL things got oh so much more complicated. I don’t think Bdubs ever intended to be a part of a larger group, he only intended to be with Etho. So he was Mainly tolerating Tango and Skizz so long as 1) they helped the overall group and 2) Etho wanted to stay. Except Tango and Skizz were clumsy on missions and had issues communicating with him and Etho, who were very close and had an easier time planning and communicating. Etho’s lighthearted jabs at this turned sharper through Bdubs’ comments and actions. I think Bdubs was frustrated with being put in the same situation he was in last season- having to stay with an alliance he Did Not Want for the sake of his One Person, and his comments/actions reflect that

He was willing to see them die and use them for Lives for the overall group, but he wasn’t willing to let Etho go down- which is again seen in the Wither fight. It’s also seen in his final death, with him turning on his fellow Reds since he thought it meant he could make it back to Etho’s side

Then in DL, he doesn’t learn his lesson! He only doubles down, making it clear to Impulse where his loyalties lie. Bdubs Only Cares About Impulse, and they’re more than willing to watch the world burn as a unit. Bdubs wanting them to be home wreckers also serves as him putting his foot down- refusing to be a part of alliances he doesn’t like. I don’t think they had any allies this season aside from one another, which honestly worked perfectly for them in DL!! Bdubs was able to fulfill a role that came naturally to him and Impulse didn’t have to worry about the stress of maintaining a larger group

And it’s because they worked so well together that Bdubs can’t wrap his head around the idea that He Killed Impulse. Bdubs knows that he would never, EVER, do something like that to his One Person, so Impulse asking for an apology in LimL comes as a complete shock to him.

And I think it’s something that affects LimL for him as a whole, but also ties back to the setting. Again, it’s made clear that Nobody is surviving this, so it would be pointless for Bdubs to act in defense of his One Person. With him being unable to focus on this as his motivation, he’s forced to focus on a group, on the Clockers (HOWEVER he still has his devastating connection to Etho and that’s not going away anytime soon). This also forces him to confront the issues that caused previous teams to fail

And I’d argue Cleo’s in a very similar spot as him

Cleo’s loyalties had always been her day 1 crew, with her standing by them regardless of what happened. They belonged to the group and the group belonged to them as equals. If the ship was going down, then goddamnit Cleo would go down with it, which is especially seen in 3L with her attacking Ren. Cleo wanted to be done with this war and this entire conflict and thought that if they just struck now, if they just killed Ren, their issues would be over. Remember, the Crastle’s main conflict was regarding Dogwarts! Cleo didn’t know who to trust because Impulse was always acting all buddy-buddy with the red banners and Tango was off doing his own thing.

I think this is also why Cleo ran off to Scott as a backup alliance before then- Scott presents himself as being a safe person, someone who stays out of conflict but defends himself when needed. Cleo needed that backup alliance for reassurance, since it was clear that Bdubs was likely going to die before her. Not only that but the aforementioned trust issues with the rest of her party. (And yes! This is a contradiction of them “going down with the ship,” we call that a Character Flaw)

Except that plan falls through when Scott dies, by Ren’s hand no less, and Cleo’s right back in the scenario they’d been in before. They’re right back to wondering when the other shoe was going to drop

So them attacking Ren was a moment of frustration, wanting clarity and lashing out against the source of her problems; Ren

Except this act is what did Cleo in, and she never really got to see where any of them stood. Well, except for Bdubs but I already discussed him At Length

LL was again, an ENTIRE mess for Cleo. The whole gimmick in LL was there to make people distrust the people around them, and BOY HOWDY did Cleo distrust people! She was never fully sold on the Fairy Fort but thought that if they just stayed together, then they’d be able to defend each other- strength in numbers! Really, BigB was the only person that Cleo fully trusted, with them having their own separate base together and Cleo going to BigB when she didn’t trust the rest of the group.

Again, she values her day 1 ally above all else, and in this season that was BigB. They stood together as equals, even with Lizzie and Ren at their side.

Which makes it all the more heartbreaking when BigB turned on her, because she would never, EVER do the same to him. They were equals, it was them against the world and BigB had just gone against that bond. Cleo also refuses to emphasize with his perspective because of the fact that BigB had AMPLE opportunity to tell Cleo he was cursed, but he just Didn’t. She trusted him, she trusted the fort, and she would never make that same mistake twice

Cleo once again retreated to Scott. He and Pearl welcomed her with open arms and provided what stability they could for her, considering Cleo was flirting with death every other episode. They also helped Cleo get her revenge, making it abundantly clear that they stood With Her. BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY, both of them told her when they were the boogeyman. There were Zero secrets between the three of them and Cleo was never given a reason to question their loyalty. Communication is key!

And here’s where things flip. Cleo goes from supporting her day 1 crew above all else, to the understanding that a day 1 crew isn’t a guarantee. Said crew has only ever caused her problems, and Cleo only ever found stability with her second option

So when DL rolls around, Cleo’s left in a weird spot. Their day 1 ally is the one person who was ever stable for them, Scott, with her designated ally, Martyn, causing problems right off the bat. Except Martyn isn’t the only one that brings trouble for them, with Pearl being a near constant threat to her and Scott. Both her first option, And her backup are causing problems. So now it’s not a question of who’s loyal to her, but who she wants to align herself with.

And Cleo Doesn’t Know. She stays with Scott for the most part, but is also willing to hear Martyn out as he makes a fool of himself trying to get her back. But I think the main thing that draws Cleo back to Martyn is the fact that they’re linked- that if Martyn hurts her, he hurts himself. That’s a reassurance Cleo doesn’t get with Scott as an ally, and ultimately what drives their decision to turn against Scott in the finale

So in case you didn’t catch it- the similarity for Bdubs and Cleo is specific to their tie to their One Person/day 1 alliance. They’re willing to do Everything for this person/group but are consistently either harmed or causing harm through that connection. For Cleo it causes her to be paranoid but for Bdubs it makes him double down on that loyalty. They end up balancing each other out in LimL, but what about Scar?

For Scar, he ONLY has his day 1 ally and no one else. This was quickly established for him in 3L, with Grian being the only person to consistently stand by him. Scar didn’t see this as a part of their agreement, he saw this as a decision Grian made over and over again. This is even expressed in his speech at the end of 3L, with Scar offering his life to Grian in return for everything he’d done to keep Scar alive. They started out together, and they would ultimately die together. And, most importantly, Scar didn’t have anyone else to turn to. It was made abundantly clear that nobody else would take him in, both with Grian being the only person to attempt an alliance at the start and with Scar being put on his red name so early on. Scar ultimately decides that if people aren’t with him through fate, they will never stand by him, and he’s fine with it! At first

Scar goes into LL with the same expectation, that his team would stay together until the bitter end and everyone else is against him. Except Joel is extremely quick to go down to red, an alliance that Scar is never really able to salvage. This leaves Scar alone, and he accepts this as an immediate Fact. He doesn’t see the point in reaching out to anyone, opting instead for scams and empty threats, the same tactic that worked so well for him last time.

And that sort of becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy, with him turning away potential allies through his actions. He thought he’d end up alone and created a scenario where he Was Alone. Really, this only serves to reinforce the idea that he will always end up on his own

Enter; DL

This season HEAVILY reinforced his previous mindset, but it also gave him a reason to fight against it. Scar didn’t Have a day 1 alliance, he was fully willing to base alone and to be without a soulmate. Except Grian comes along to drag him into an alliance

And this mirrors 3L to a T but it ALSO flips their dynamic. Grian wasn’t following Scar’s lead, Scar was following his. From his perspective, Scar was the one doing whatever he could to maintain them, and Grian was the one endangering himself. Again, this is opposed to 3L when Scar was endangering himself and Grian was doing everything he could to maintain them

Except Grian does nothing but sabotage their relationship. I think the flipped roles here kind of forces Scar to realize “oh, I’m not destined to be alone, I push people away.” But there’s also an added layer on top of that- Grian doesn’t respect him.

I’ve mentioned that little tidbit in other posts, but Scar really isn’t respected this season! 3L he was respected as a threat, LL he lost that respect through the travelling salesman bit, and DL puts him in a weird spot. He’s respected as a Loose Cannon but isn’t respected as his own person- as in people have a reason to be wary of him but don’t consider his opinions on plans and other things

So going into LimL, Scar’s fully expecting the same treatment and is more or less blindsided by how supportive the Clockers were. His day 1 crew stuck with him!! Not day 1 Ally, day 1 CREW. He finally had a group that stood with him

Somewhat unrelated but I think it’s also important to note that Scar doesn’t expect to survive in Any season. He’s operating under the assumption that death is imminent, wanting to live a life of fun and luxury in what time he still has. In other words, he’s staring with the worldview that’s taught in LimL!! It’s challenged repeatedly but keeps getting reinforced

But to recap; the three of them value their day 1 ally above all else, and are lost without said ally. Bdubs doesn’t know what to do with himself if he doesn’t have his One Person, Cleo becomes paranoid if their day 1 ally is distrustful, and Scar typically doesn’t form connections with Anyone if he doesn’t have a day 1 ally.

But on top of that, Bdubs and Scar are usually following in their teams. Bdubs is headstrong, but ultimately lives to support his One Person. Scar comes up with plans, but doesn’t necessarily want to be in a leadership position. Cleo, on the other hand, does very well in leadership positions because it gives her more control over what’s going on around her. Leading takes away the unpredictability that would come with following

Bdubs and Scar need direction and Cleo’s able to give that to them. While at the same time, Cleo’s learning to be more comfortable with unpredictability. They have! Two loose cannons! But Cleo knows they’re unpredictable and is better equipped to manage that “threat”

Really, together the three of them are able to confront how closed off they are, allowing themselves to trust one another. And this trust is tested!! Especially with Bdubs maintaining a connection with Etho, who’s on another team entirely. AND THAT IS!! SO IMPORTANT FOR BDUBS because he’s forced into a position where he has to realize the harm he’s caused

Looping back around to TIES, basically that entire team had previous issues with him!! They stay at odds with one another because Bdubs refuses to acknowledge he did anything wrong. No he never reconciled with them, but he did start to confront his own issues. He doesn’t single anyone out as a danger, he spends so much time proving he’s loyal to the Clockers that he never falls back on paranoia

Then in Scar’s case, he’s both allowed to be dangerous and respected as a part of the group. NOT ONLY THAT but other alliances respect him! He isn’t constantly running around trying to prove he’s worth people’s respect, it’s just automatically granted to him

I don’t have a neat way to close this off, but something something accepting danger and learning to trust regardless of that danger

Start Post | TIES | Bad Boys

#trafficblr #limited life #bdoubleo100 #zombiecleo #goodtimeswithscar #the clockers #this is very bdubs centric because I’m spinning him around in my brain currently