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#but man it's gotten so much harder to buy stuff to own
t-eyla · 2 years
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“streaming services are untrustworthy now”
THEY ALWAYS HAVE BEEN
THEY. ALWAYS. HAVE. BEEN.
You want to own your media. The music you love, the TV you love, the shows you love, the fic and podcasts and fanworks and books you love, DOWNLOAD THEM. I don’t care if you pirate or buy them (though the smaller the creator, the more I’d suggest you buy, or at least donate to them through whatever means available), but if you want to be sure that you’ll always have access, you need to physically own this stuff. Yes, even if it’s all digital.
The thing that streaming services offer is called SVOD. That means “subscription video on demand”. You’re subscribing to a provider, and you do not get a choice what the selection of content is this provider offers. Think of them like a TV channel. You can watch what’s on at any given time, but there is no guarantee that what you’ve seen will ever be shown again.
Back in the day, people started to use VHS to record television content and keep it. Tons and tons of academic writing has been produced on how much changed when people could finally OWN THEIR MEDIA. Do not give that up. Make sure you have this stuff. Turn off your wifi and mobile data and figure out how much media you’ve still got access to. If there’s something you’re dearly missing, go and make it accessible to you offline right now.
Here’s what happened at HBO Max (as far as I understand): they spent money on the merger with Discovery, and then figured out that they’d acquired shows, or now had shows in their catalogue, that they didn’t expect to make money off of, because the shows either didn’t fit their brand or their desired target audience or whatever else stupid reason they had. There’s this tax thing you can do where you can declare an expense a loss, essentially, if you can be sure that you won’t be making money off of whatever you acquired with that money. If it’s declared a loss, you don’t pay taxes on it. Now that they’ve declared the money they spent on these shows a loss, they cannot be found out to be making money off of them. This is why those shows are getting purged. And because nobody ever produced any physical media of these shows, or offered them for paid download where you got to keep the files, they’re just GONE. (And this is why art and capitalism don’t mix, sigh.)
This will happen again. We’ve got so many streaming services now that the smaller ones are starting to get bought by the bigger ones. A streaming platform isn’t a particularly profitable business, and since we have a few big names bouncing around the market, these big names are each going to have to develop their own specific brand in order to be unique enough to warrant a subscription (if they haven’t yet). So we’ve got mergers in an industry that’s struggling to stay out of the red and whose big players are desperately trying to develop individual, distinct profiles. Shows that don’t fit into this silo structure will be dropped and purged. Just like it used to be on TV, anything that doesn’t bring in subscribers (i.e. that doesn’t have broad mass appeal) will not find a place anymore.
Streaming is still better than traditional TV. At least they’re now trying to appeal to the people watching rather than advertisers, and there’s more leeway in regards to the kind of content that can be run. But the creativity is going to narrow. So any show that you love, anything that is exactly the kind of thing that you’ve wanted to see for years but that never got made because it doesn’t have “mass appeal” -- download it. Make sure you own it any way possible. They can take it away at any moment, and they will, because money beats art when you’re running your creative industries for profit.
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td-frog · 2 months
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thoughts on disventure camp e4:
tom and jake
seeing people complain about tom being a hypocrite for snarking at jake here and i agree that it is hypocritical. but i don't think it's bad writing (i honestly really like it?)
like. tom and jake are messy. they have no communication. they overreact to everything. that's like their whole thing.
idk why tom ghosted after the first season, or while he's continuing to be distant (and now, more openly hostile). this is because the show hasn't told us yet. i assume, given that it's only episode 4 and this plot is getting a lot of attention, that there will eventually be some explanation. it doesn't really feel out of character to me at this point, just that we're missing information.
also specifically the reason i like this interaction is because it makes it very clear that tom is also being shitty here! like imo that was clear from the very start with the ghosting and dodging confrontation stuff, but more recently the focus has been on jake's jealousy. and while i do think jake is being unreasonable as well, tom is not innocent. as before, they are messy!!
villians' alliance and elimination
first off: i so called miriam being out this episode. didn't know the exact context, but in order for the alec helping fiore plot to work long term she needed to be out of the picture.
i like that she played well here though. like she did exactly what she should have done in the situation and it just didn't work out. sad to see her go, but not surprised.
poor connor tho :( my man's all alone now. i'm hoping that with grett turning on yul (you go girl) that maybe he'll last a bit longer
also yet again reminded why i love alec as a player and a villain. he's so good at planning and thinking things through, and he's not just thinking in terms of his own best interest. man plays this game like chess.
like. the rest of yellow team would have happily let ellie or fiore lose and get booted despite the alliance. alec's main goal was to get rid of miriam, but at the same time he was proving to ellie (and less so fiore) that he was also looking out for them.
i also like that it's not working out as cleanly as he'd like. miriam exposing him may not have been a problem here, but it will be later. in s1 he was able to largely fly under the radar for a while, and now is having to change tactics.
other thoughts
aiden and tess made me smile :) i want them to be friends
like ally's apology and hunter's non-apology (and fiore's wtf response). i think ally's really sweet and i get why fiore doesn't buy it but i'm glad someone on this team was like "maybe bullying a child is wrong"
ashley's backstory :(
predictions for next episode
elimination is harder to predict because the teams are even again. i'm thinking yellow team again makes the most sense, given the inevitable fallout of the villain reveal and the vote for yul. my guess would be connor vs. yul (vs. alec?) and of those three i see yul as most likely.
(could also be connor but the letter from miriam might save him somehow; i'm mainly doubting that they'd take him out of the competition here bc that'd be pretty unsatisfying for the connoriya drama. kind of leaning this actually bc yul being betrayed but not eliminated could also be juicy.)
if it's not yellow team... i could see gabby on cyan, mostly through process of elimination. tom and aiden need to stick around for the drama with jake, ellie's got the villain thing, and tess hasn't really gotten to do much other than be stuck in the middle of things.
gabby also hasn't really gotten to do anything besides support ellie, but i wouldn't be surprised to see her go early- like with james and lake, it feels like her character so far this season has been more in support of another character, and the impact her elimination would have on ellie feels like the most likely plot direction for this team to take.
that said idk why anyone would vote gabby out at this point. but i digress.
i really doubt it'll be magenta. fiore and jake have their own plots happening that i doubt will be wrapped up next episode, hunter and ally's relationship feels like it needs slightly more focus and deterioration before either of them goes home, and ashley just doesn't really seem likely?
aside from elimination
jake's gonna be sad about miriam. i think tom might be too, but unclear how exactly he'll react. will definitely make their whole thing worse, because for some reason they decided miriam should hold the brain cell of their relationship.
yellow team is definitely gonna have drama: fallout from miriam telling everyone alec was untrustworthy, the whole situation with grett and yul's relationship, connor being the only outsider to the alliance.
not sure what else- hunter and ally might have some plot progression, but i think those top two bullets will be the main points.
also whatever advantage connor got will definitely come up- seen speculation that it's like the "make people switch teams" card riya got in s2 but idk how that would play out
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Happy anniversary!
Which got me craving form some mla headcanon
What would they be like in when their wedding anniversary comes up?
(You can make one for yourself too! If you man doesn’t mind?)
(Thank you! I wish I had gotten to this one sooner ahhh! Anyway, as much as I want to I think I'll write this for everyone else this time instead of myself. Although the temptation was really strong lol)
~MLA Wedding Anniversary~
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headcanon|scenario|imagine|match-up
-Redestro: He's definitely got everything planned out way ahead of time so you never need to worry about him forgetting your anniversary. This goes double for any other special day, holiday, or birthday on your calendar. He's a very caring and attentive lover and if he were to ever even forget for just a moment, then he'd be sulking on himself for the rest of the year. He's ready and willing to let you pick your activity for the day whether that be a private flight out to somewhere you want to really visit, or just a regular old day at the house with each other. Don't make any mistake thinking he's going to always be like this though! He also likes to take initiative and plan certain dates out so that you know he's wanting to be involved and not just passive about what you do together.
-Trumpet: The type of guy to buy you something and then give it to you immediately afterwards. Seriously...Trumpet has bought a lot of stuff for you anniversary and each time he ends up giving it all to you before the day even gets there. The others like to tease him about how hard it was when he had to hide the proposal from you haha! Anyway, he's my headcanon for a romantic and sappy man. He loves being cheesy and he loves it even more when you give it right back to him. He's going to be slightly annoying and all in your face during this day more than any other so be prepared for that as well. He just can't help himself when it comes to you.
-Geten: Isn't like this all the time, but definitely forgot back when you had your first anniversary. Depending on how chill you are is how long you were upset at him about it for. He's probably not the best at buying you things as gifts. If you tell him you like one specific thing then he'll continue to get you that one thing for a very VERY long time. This may be cool if you're that type of person, but if you're not then...good luck I suppose. Aside from this, he has a harder time expressing to you how he feels about you. It's a surprise he was even able to make his own vows at the wedding (although you suspect Chitose, Koku, and Rikiya had a hand to play in it). Even so, he's still very much in love with you.
-Curious: Usually tries to buy you things all the time as her love language. On your anniversary she holds off on buying things and actually tries to make stuff instead. It helps her to also feel better since she doesn't have much time these days to do anything dealing with hobbies or creativity. One year in particular she spent an entire night before your anniversary teaching herself how to make homemade candles just so she could gift you one over dinner the next day. She figures it's the small things that really mean the most and hopefully in your eyes, it's true.
-Skeptic: Like Geten, isn't very romantic. It's a big shock still to everyone (and to himself) that he was able to land a wife/husband/spouse like you. Hell, it's a shock he was able to get into a relationship in the first place. I like to think of him as someone that values their own private space, and their time even more so. However, he'd be lost without you now that he has you in his life. That's why (even if it damn near kills him) he manages to at least attempt some grand romantic gesture. This could be anything from taking you to your favorite place, to gathering hand picked roses for your bouquet. He loves you and you mean a lot to him. That's why he puts in so much effort. Be sure to let him know how you feel. It can really make him feel appreciated after everything is said and done. If you're lucky then you might even get one of his rare, gentle smiles.
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rfxiii · 5 months
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Any headcanons or takes for Tanisha Jackson and Tonya Wiggins? Haven't seen much of them on Tumblr. I'm hoping you can deliver, really diggin' your page, keep it up!
(tysm for the request! I actually have a lot of feelings about them- but especially Tanisha, so I liked writing this a lot. I’m honestly a little high rn and I’m praying this makes sense and I was able to explain things right! I hope I did them both justice!)
TW: none
Headcanons for Tanisha Jackson and Tanya Wiggins-
Tanisha Jackson:
She liked Franklin first. They became friends in maybe 9th/10th grade or before when they met through Lamar. She was Lamar’s friend first, and had met through her brother and Lamar being friends. Franklin was a little wilder and more willing to do daring/dumb shit with Lamar back then. But he’s always been smart and had big plans for where he wanted to go, and she admired him for it.
After her brother got killed she sort of had an eye opening moment that, as much as she loved Franklin, she wanted out of this life with or without him. He didn’t understand at the time, and even after a while post game he didn’t get it. He’d gotten all his money from the Union Depository job, he had his nice cars, and his big house, and in his mind, he’d made it. And he didn’t understand why she still wouldn’t be with him. It didn’t register with him that she left everyone behind to stay safe, to start a good life of her own, and to not watch the people she loved get killed doing illegal stuff.
It takes a few years post game for her to realize that, even after she’s gotten married and started the “life she wanted” that she isn’t with the man she wanted. It’s a good life. But what’s the point of living the life you wanted without the person you knew you always wanted? That’s when she divorces her husband and she and Franklin reconnect and eventually get married.
I don’t know if it’s ever mentioned what she does for work or in her life in general, but I see her being really smart just by the way she talks to Franklin and by the way she sees things. She gives straight A and advanced classes in school vibes to me- maybe even some kind of college after graduation.
I need her to be the passenger princess to Franklin's master driving skills. Only hot girls hit curbs and merge three lanes without looking- and she’s the hottest bitch in that aspect. Her driving scares Frank to death.
She’s the only one of Franklin's friends who’s ever spoken up about how his aunt treats him. He fell in love even harder when she stood up for him.
She knows how to fight, she knows how to shoot, and she knows how to take care of herself. But all she ever wanted was a life where she never had to do any of that.
Tanya Wiggins:
Frank really did have a crush on her when they were kids. He just chooses to see it otherwise now because he’s ashamed of admitting it because of her lifestyle now.
She and Tanisha used to be best friends. But Tanisha wanted out and to make a better life, while the world got to Tonya and she fell off without anyone to support her.
In school she used to dream of buying a nice little house and maybe having a few kids with J.B. She wanted to own her own salon and maybe even do hair/nails for the stars. But as one thing led to another, she didn't dwell on what could have been anymore. And she gets so high she just convinced herself that she’s happy with the life that she and J.B have now.
She knows the crack is killing her, and that this life is killing her. But what else is she supposed to do? She knows her old friends judge her. That’s partially why she tells Frank she only “baby doses for the taste”. She knows he’s judging her, and she’s embarrassed to let people know her habit has gotten as bad as it has.
Feels left behind by her friends, after everything. Tanisha married a doctor and moved away, Franklin got his money and moved to Vinewood, even Lamar eventually made his own business and got away. But she still has to wake up everyday and sell herself for a few grams and to pay the bills. She’s bitter, but she’s mostly just sad.
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otdderamin · 1 year
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Fiction C2 Post-Campaign Caleb's Fancy Magic
Summary:
Essek contemplates Caleb's casting style and what it can teach him about his own path forward.
Also on AO3
What if casting spells doesn't actually have to be very elaborate and Caleb Widogast is just super showy and extra. Like a musician who likes to play at open mics and it's the most mind-blowing thing you've ever heard, but that's just how he is by default. 
And Essek, who used to clothes shop from fashion shows and wear this stuff to buy milk at the grocery store at 10 pm, took one look at his style and just instantly fell in love. 
Magic doesn't have to be that elaborate and showy, especially for every little spell, but Caleb imbues each flourish with the love of creation. The love of weaving the energy of the cosmos into his designs. 
So much magical research gets so rote and utilitarian. The most probing experiments with the Beacons were the only things that felt so delicate and beautiful. Unlocking that love for what it's out there. And here's this man who does it for a Cat's Paw spell. Who has, in fact, taken an ordinary spell like Bigby's Hand and remade it to reflect what he loves in life for no utility but beauty and expression. 
That thing Essek has been driving himself to destruction to find is right there in the most ordinary light spells. How could Essek resist giving Caleb access to his own knowledge and spells just to see what he will do with them? How he will shape them? How he will reinvent them like a fine chef that makes even a simple dish an extraordinary experience? 
And Caleb is not doing this only for his own power, but what he could do to help others with it. Caleb is also generous in what he teaches. Essek has never had someone to just explore what's possible and try things with. Work out the math. See how things connect. Who's excited by that instead of bored. Someone who loved the learning as much as the abilities and results. 
And maybe also someone who knows when to stop. When to get tea and a snack. When to fill your cup with sitting on a couch by the fire reading something totally unrelated for pleasure. Because there's always some aspect of the world you've forgotten to account for, and it's not in research books. It's more essential. It's dinner with friends and silly games and deciding there are shapes in the stars only you have shared seeing. 
And even on the run, living a double life of disguises, how could Essek stay away too long from the man who grounds him in what is real? Who reminds him of the small beauties in all their rituals. Who reminds him why all of this is worth it now when it would be so easy to feel hopeless. 
Caleb's magic wasn't always like this. He had staved off boredom in the Sanitarium for a decade reimagining his spells in his head. When he escaped he finally got to test them and polish them. It was also cover. People knew Bren's style. They didn't know Caleb's. They couldn't see Bren's teacher's idiosyncrasies in them or mark him as from the Academy so easily. 
Caleb has gotten to a place where he no longer feels the need to run and hide. He's no longer being hunted for what he did. Maybe one day he can expose what Ludinus did to Essek, too, and that Essek doesn't deserve death for his part. That he's been doing other restorative work and growing. But not today. 
So Essek leans into how Caleb hid. He starts to figure out who he is and take on his own casting style. Modify his own spells. For the first time make things his own instead of a stripped down sleek efficient version. It's harder than he expects. It demands he figures out who he wants to really be when he's not mimicking what will impress others the most. 
Caleb helps him. Essek watches his sweet, definite hands trace manic through the air. Listens to Caleb teach him what each flourish is doing and why. Essek is entranced by it, and no one's been so entranced with why he does things for himself. There's a deep intimacy and knowing to it. Mapping out the shape of each other's minds. Even the broken shale slag parts.
Caleb jokes about how pumice stone is birthed in fire and toxic pressured gases, but finds new life in conscious hands scrubbing away dead skin to help new life grow unburdened. They were made in rough places and they have been rough, but they can also be used gently and achieve soft things. Carrying pouches of bat guano and running it up your arm is a little weird, but there's some essential spark even in cave shit.
Caleb grows his green beans to remind him what else he's growing. Essek doesn't put down the same roots, but he has an instinct for returning. A migratory bird who knows where his places are, even if he only lingers for a while.
Tonight Caleb has returned and Essek has returned and they have stories to tell about their adventures. Caleb will describe his magic and any new things he tried. Essek will sit with a nice glass of wine conjured from his memories and listen and watch the way Caleb's eyes light up and the way his hands move through his gestures and trace parts of spells. He will feel safe and content even knowing like a spell that it will not last, but it will call some magic of the universe forth that only they ever knew was there.
That is enough when even the things he loved were so cold, so made for someone else or to breeze through them unthinking. Now he is thinking about all of it just for himself. Just for them to understand. And that feels so much healthier. To find the thing he chases so relentlessly, just to see was right in front of him through Caleb's eyes.
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ridiasfangirlings · 2 years
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Yata has a hard time figuring out what wedding present to get for Munakata and Fushimi.
This feels kinda cute, like Yata's accepted that Fushimi's found someone besides him and he wants to be supportive and get them a super nice gift even though part of him maybe still feels a little weird about the whole thing. He never really thought of Fushimi as the type to get married and of course the Blue King is just a weirdo but Saruhiko seems really happy with him (as happy as Saruhiko gets, anyway) and if Saruhiko's happy then Yata's happy. Maybe Fushimi asked him to be best man at the wedding too, Yata's taking that post super seriously because it's proof that he and Fushimi are best friends again and Yata's determined to be as supportive as possible. With all this going on Yata does feel some pressure to get them a really cool wedding gift and it's harder than he thought it would be, Yata knows what Saruhiko likes but he has no idea what Munakata would like besides 'probably something weird.'
Imagine he tries to get some advice from the other Homra guys, Kusanagi tells him to relax because they'll like anything he chooses but Yata isn't so sure about that. He wants to make a good impression on Munakata too, Yata's gotten close to Fushimi again but he hasn't talked much with Munakata and he wants Munakata to know that Yata supports this marriage and their relationship and what better way to do it than with a thoughtful wedding gift. Maybe Kusanagi suggests Yata try asking people who might be closer to both Munakata and Fushimi and that's how Yata ends up at Scepter 4 for a secret wedding present meeting with the alphabet squad. Yata figures these guys should know what Munakata would like and then Yata can just combine that with stuff he knows Fushimi will like and it'll be the perfect gift. The squad have been busy plotting their own gifts but they want to give Yata some help too, unfortunately for Yata listening to things Munakata likes (“puzzles, ninjas, Fushimi”) just makes him continually more concerned that the Blue King is really fucking weird. Maybe in the end he decides to buy them some kind of puzzle after all, because he remembers that time Fushimi did a puzzle at his place and got super entranced with it, like he uses a photo of Munakata and Fushimi together and has that made into a custom puzzle. Munakata is thrilled and even Fushimi has to admit that okay this is the one puzzle of his face that he will allow Captain to work on around other people.
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finsterhund · 6 months
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I'm planning to finally write the long awaited update to my first medium article on Sly, so I went back and read my past articles and holy shit did I dump trauma into them. God. The one where I talk about needing to replace Ope because he won't survive much longer if I keep chewing on him pretty much documented how my life fell apart when Cazza left remission for the last time. Seeing photos of her on it made me fucking break. I tried reading the one about stuffed dogs that resemble Spot and I had her REVIEW EACH ONE. She was like my little coauthor. God.
No wonder it's gotten so much harder to write those. I'm missing my best friend who gave irreplaceable input.
I want to write the Sly II of Sly II though because I want to share the collective information I've found about Sly since then. It's criminal that unless you get your hands on a tag of Charlene's forever toys to read it yourself their stories are all lost to time.
If I had the energy I'd make my own fansite. Provide more lore info than egnome provides for them. But sadly I'm too exhausted. Just Sly for me. Also you literally have to buy one complete with tags to see the whole tag story and obviously I'm going to limit the amount of 300 dollar stuffed animals I buy thank you very much. My first, Sly II I got for way less than he's worth and my upcoming Christmas present I'm drastically reducing my calorie intake to afford. (Don't worry, they are raising my disability income for the new year and I'm not destitute yet lol)
I just. Man. I keep thinking what it must have been like when Charleen was around and actively making these guys. Meeting up at toy expos and such. All in the US, yeah, but still. Would have loved to meet her. Asked all about Sly. Back when her toys were still in production getting promotional materials would have been easier too. Apparently she had a little fan magazine she shipped out every so often where people could send in letters? That's the sort of stuff you don't get with mass produced toys but is also too much work for modern independent creators who are treading water in today's economy. The egnome mailing list doesn't even work anymore. I wonder when it stopped running.
I'm still not giving up on trying to recreate my own backup Sly, but I'm just so tired all the time. I wish I had a workshop and wasn't just doing everything in life straight outta my bedroom. If you saw my bedside table situation and the mess it is you'd all hurl. The discount section of a fabricland was shit out all over every even remotely flat available surface.
As futile as it seems and as tired as I am, I am also pleased to report that some level of progress is being made though. I'm designing ideas to make my own take on the character distinct enough from the original. I'm also on that subject thinking about finally learning how to quilt. For real this time. Using my roommate's sewing machine is a pain in the ass so most of what I'm doing is by hand so not as nice looking but I have more control and am less likely to murder my hand.
I keep wishing we could go to the other thrift store so I can go on a quest for a ton of vintage buttons. I'm looking for upholstery buttons specifically. God that's another thing. I love buttons. You know that? I should make a quilt that also serves as a button collection. And I still want to one day make a quilt from many of Cazza's old things but currently I can't bear to alter them in any way so I've put them in a tote in my closet so I don't stare at them and cry.
Good news in that I cleaned my room a bit and that Scott is almost finished with his ear medicine. He's become such a good boy about letting me out the drops in his ears. Really adaptable he is.
I keep thinking about how I wish I could go back to drawing tons of Heart of Darkness fan art again. But I remind myself that my very own Whisky died in my arms and yeah. It's no wonder I don't have the heart to do what I'm passionate about anymore.
Maybe I make a Sly entirely out of the dollar store paw print blankets of which Cazza died with. I'd get brand new ones, enough to make the Sly, don't know how many that would take but they're a nice texture. I have old fleece I got at a discount that reminds me of the Cazza collar maybe I could make a Cazza Sly and give him a Cazza collar.
Another thing is there's just been no info on the crying dog. None at all. I didn't stop caring about him. Just that nothing new has happened. Very sad.
Hopefully playing pikmin 3 and then 4 will be a nice reprieve. I can hope.
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arklayraven · 1 year
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Need to vent about personal life. You can ignore this.
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Hopefully next year is more better for me, or fine enough that I have some control over my life again. Just so I can start accepting proper commissions through ko-fi again. Since things gotten so bad now with my old man, that he's acting like he's no longer is married to my disabled mom, or that he has a 'daughter'(prefer son but can never come out to him because he's transphobic) still living in the house too.
He also refuses to help with paying the bills, buying us food and giving us money to buy the simple necessary things in life to live/survive now. Which is why the commissions thing are gonna have to happen so I can try to get a steady income coming monthly again.
Like I don't have a 'real' job to say because I need to stay home to look out for my disabled mom. Just been a on/off freelancer, hoping art will get me by but know it won't alone. I hope writing will do something too but I see no one taking interest in my writings enough to pay me for them. I need to figure out something better to get people to like my stuff enough to support me financially...I wish I didn't have to care about this though...
Though I've been struggling to make much of anything properly since all this stress and all been triggering my depression harder lately. That its hard to focus on work or get anything out. Because I am often more busy trying to fight against my own mind, and staying alive, and dealing with the hell I am forced to call my 'normal life' now.
So yeah...Hoping next year is better. I won't bother to see any improvements for the rest of this year. I know its gonna be shit still either way. I just am trying to focus on surviving to 2023 now without letting the stress and depression take me down truly now...
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dollslayer · 3 years
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Fight or Flight
Steve Rogers x Reader
Summary: Steve comes clean, in the aftermath and shock you turn to the one person who you know you can trust.
W/C: 2,369
Warnings: Implied cheating, angst, swearing
A/N: Hello! I wrote this for @sweetlyscared 's 1k celebration (congrats, it's well deserved!), prompt is in bold. I'm still pretty new to writing and this is my first true Angst fic so any and all reblogs/comments are super appreciated! Please check out my other stuff if you liked this fic!! Cheers!
PART TWO I Masterlist
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The feeling of everything crashing around you was slow. Like your world was moving in slow motion as you processed the words. Everything else he was saying became distorted, going to waste as he tried desperately to explain himself to you. All you could hear clearly was your own breathing while you tried to will yourself to do something, anything.
Fight or flight is a funny thing, you were always so feisty and eager to fight back, A Bulldog, Steve had affectionately called you. But when he told you he was in love with someone else, that he has been in love with someone else for months, your body couldn’t find anything in it but to walk away.
Your breathing picked up and your eyes searched the ground, refusing to meet his. You felt your legs raise you up to stand and start walking away, unsure of your destination. When you pivoted to leave the room your eyes met his briefly, staring emotionlessly as his desperately searched for anything at all in yours.
“Where are you going? Doll, please, can we talk about this? I’m, I’m so sorry I-”
Whatever else he was saying wasn’t heard over the noise of opening the door and shutting it behind you. You didn’t know where you were going or what you were feeling other than the obvious. You were in a state of shock, it’s one thing to hear awful news and another to understand that it’s true but you were fastly approaching that truth head-on.
You paused for a moment in the hall and heard no movement come after you. You almost let yourself be surprised but he’d admitted he gave up on you a long time ago, so it only makes sense he wouldn’t fight your exit. You kept walking and tried to hold the floodgates of your heart closed for a bit longer.
Flashes of what was said come back to you slowly as reality sets in. “I can’t put this off any longer. I want you to know that I will always love you, but there’s someone else.”
Your head hurt like it would as if you were already crying, the blood pumping in your ears and pressure building in your temples that would no doubt evoke a long-standing headache. Your face felt hot as you stepped into the elevator, maybe you’d go for a walk in an attempt to fend off your tears. Or maybe you’d walk to a safer place to have an emotional breakdown. Whichever is easier.
Brisk gusts of air greet you as you exit the building, making you realize you left your jacket on the arm of the couch. You took a second to evaluate yourself and noticed you’d also walked out in your house slippers and a thin pair of leggings. Trying to evade the cold you tucked yourself in the doorway of a bodega down the street and dialed Bucky.
Two rings and he picked up.
“Hello?”
“Did you know?”
The silence on the line only reminds you of the blood pumping in your ears. The silence tells you everything you needed to know.
“Liste-”
You hang up.
You’re breathing even harder now. Who else knew? For how long? How long was I the joke? You need to find somewhere else to be soon or all these strangers are going to get an eyeful of a grown woman sobbing. You dial the last number you’d expect to at a time like this.
“What’s happening, shortstack?”
You can hear Tony’s grin through the phone and his easy greeting gives you momentary comfort.
“Can I come over? Something happened.”
“I’ll let Jarvis know to let you in” Tony’s tone is understanding, not needing you to explain further, just letting you know you can come to him.
____
Tony’s only seven blocks from yours and Steve’s shared apartment, a fact you’re grateful for when you feel your feet aching every time they hit the pavement. The conversation replays in your head, you try to word what happened in your head and your anger starts overtaking the heartbreak. It’s almost a welcome reprieve from the settling heartbreak but you’re not sure if you’d rather be numb to it completely.
When the elevator doors open Tony’s waiting for you with two tumblers of scotch in hand. You shake your head and move past him to the couch. He joins you on the opposite armchair and sets both his elbows down on his spread knees, resting his face in his hands.
“Would you like to talk about it or not talk about it?” He asks with a sigh.
You don’t make eye contact with him so you don’t cry, choosing to focus on the Iron Man coffee table book you’d gotten as a gag gift for Tony all those Christmases ago. It almost distracts you enough to laugh, the fact that he just has it out. But you need to tell someone what happened and get it all out before you can let yourself feel it all.
“Steveisinlovewithsomeoneelse,” You rushed it all out in one breath afraid if you didn’t get it out fast enough that you’d break. “He has been for months. He said he doesn’t know when it all changed but when he was with her things just clicked,” you paused to collect yourself, “But don’t worry, I’ll always hold a special place in his heart and he hopes this won’t affect the future of the team or our friendship.”
“Oh, and he’s really sorry.” you added.
You laughed bitterly and shook your head in disbelief. His delivery had been so cold but so sincere, very to the point but pained in its delivery. “I just, whatever we had, it’s just gone. Things are just different now, with her, this kills me though, please believe me. You’re still really special to me.” Bullshit. Special enough to act as a placeholder until someone better comes, special enough to cast aside.
You’re broken momentarily from your spiral into anger by the sound of a glass hitting a coaster a little too hard. Looking up, you find Tony quietly seething. He and Steve aren’t close by any means so you figured that he wouldn’t have known, it’s why you called him over anyone else.
He moves slowly to your side on the couch and pulls you into his side. You can smell his aftershave and what you think might be burned grease from one of the many things he’s been tinkering with in the lab, it smells like him, like comfort.
“That fucking asshole. Unbelievable, I don’t even…” He leaves the thought unfinished.
His hands move up and down your arms in a soothing motion and you finally let yourself have it. You don’t even realize you’re crying until you feel the tears wet his shirt when you bury your face in. You sniffle up tears and snot when your face heats up.
There’s no way to know how long Tony lets you sob into him, no doubt ruining his vintage Depeche Mode shirt. Somewhere in the back of your mind you make a mental note to buy him a new one later. But for now you’ll just allow yourself to cry and you can deal with the world in the morning.
____
Tony lets you fall asleep on his chest, feeling somewhere between furious and heartbroken by proxy. He thinks about letting you sleep and giving Steve a piece of his mind but figures that’s not what you need right now. Your phone sits on the table and he touches the screen to check the time. No notifications on your homescreen except for a missed call from Bucky and an old photo of Steve making a funny face as your background.
Had Steve not even tried to call you? Had he not even tried to go after you? Why was Bucky of all people the only one to be trying to get a hold of you? Prick.
Selfishly Tony is glad that he has a good reason to be rude to Steve now, he has to admit. You two had always been close but when you and Steve started dating he saw less and less of you. He couldn’t fault you for it though, you were so in love with Steve and you knew that the relationship between the two of them was strained so you kept your distance a bit.
He thought of all the sacrifices you’d made for Steve. You gave up your childhood home in the Bronx that your parents had willed to you to move in with him because he wanted you to be closer to the tower. You gave up a promotion and transfer to DC when you were still just an agent, granted you were an avenger now but it doesn’t matter, he’d made a very big deal out of you turning it down. You gave up the friendship the two of you had.
It was incredible, really. How much you had done for him only for him to turn around and love someone else behind your back. Brave enough to fight aliens and terrorists but too cowardly to break up with you and leave you with some dignity. Did anyone else know about this?
Tony had to stop himself from getting too angry, afraid he’d wake you up. So instead he went back to plotting up schematics for the half-finished suit mod he’d been in the middle of when you called.
____
It’s been a week and you still haven’t properly talked to Steve. After two days on Tony’s couch you need to look at things from a logical stance. Where am I going to stay? It’s not like you had your parent’s place anymore and you didn’t want to sign a new lease on an apartment. You could always move into the tower but that meant a higher chance of running into Steve.
You were thinking about all of this out loud to Tony when he offered you the guest bedroom in his penthouse. You were shocked, he’s always been a generous man but after you drifted apart from him you were surprised he even let you stay these past few days. Maybe now was a good time to rebuild your friendship with him and have some space from work.
What’s work going to be like? You agree and go on a temporary leave from the team, just a month to collect yourself. If you really wanted to you could go back but the thought of seeing everyone that knew about Steve’s affair was humiliating and enraging in one go.
It turns out Sam had been playing therapist to Steve in all of this, Nat figured it out through some sleuthing, and Wanda had inadvertently heard his thoughts about her. And none of them thought to tell you? To save you from the anguish but to let it fester? Steve wasn’t the only one that betrayed you. They all had.
What will I say to him? Should I say anything to him? Turns out the answer was ‘nothing’. You texted him to let him know you were moving out and you’d be by to get your things as a courtesy. You walked into an empty apartment and you were almost relieved.
He’d chosen to not be here but he’d left you a letter on the kitchen counter next to a framed photo of the two of you on vacation last year. You scoff but don’t touch the letter. Every ounce of restraint you have is being used as you leave it untouched. But you don’t need to know what excuses or apologies he has on deck, nothing he could say would exonerate him of his wrong-doings. You had no intentions of speaking to him but secretly you hoped he suffered as he stewed in his guilt and inner-turmoil. He deserves to.
When you pack you leave every gift he ever gave you, taking only what you’d brought with you in the first place. You take one look at the unmade bed and almost go to make it out of habit but then you think of the two of them there together. All the long missions you went on without him, all the times you stayed late at work or went out with your friends. How many times had he been here with her while you were there?
You end up only leaving with two suitcases and a backpack full of things. Tony waits for you in the lobby, understanding you wanted your space when you went to get your things in case Steve was there.
The elevator doors open to him taking a selfie with a couple of fans and shaking hands. He’s all too happy to be recognized but when he sees you his eyes soften. Not out of pity, but fondness, like he’s proud of you for getting out.
He sends you a questioning look with a silent question. Are you okay?
You smile at him and for the first time in days it’s a genuine, non-placating, happy-to-see-you smile. It’s okay, I’ll be okay.
He takes one of your suitcases from you and helps you load them into the back of the car before opening the door for you. The drive back to Tony’s is silent but comfortable. The trust you have in each other is strong and unspoken. Something you’ve always been grateful for between the two of you.
He doesn’t ask you about Steve or what happened, always letting you come to him first, which you appreciate. And when you talk he just listens. No bullshit unsolicited advice about moving on or how everything happens for a reason or getting back out there, just listens.
You know the road ahead is long and it will be difficult, but you have someone in your corner and the knowledge that what happened isn’t your fault and that you’re a badass and fuck Steve Rogers and fuck anyone else that did you wrong in all of this. Maybe you’ll forgive them someday but for now you’re gonna focus on you and work on building yourself back up. You’re ready for the ups and downs, you’re ready to fight.
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floralseokjin · 3 years
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⤑ made-up love song iii.
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Your first encounter with Kim Seokjin doesn’t go so well, nor your second, or your third… and maybe that’s because it shouldn’t work on paper. You’re an elementary school teacher, never left the country despite hitting the third decade of your life not so long ago, and you’re unable to remember the last time you dated. He’s the dad of one of your students, nearly a decade older than you and divorced. Oh yes, and just another minor detail – he’s a multimillionaire. 
Your lives are lightyears apart, yet somehow, your paths having now crossed, things just seem to fall into place…
pairing; kim seokjin x reader  au/genre/warnings; strangers to lovers, romance, eventual smut, eventual angst, single dad! seokjin, ceo! seokjin, elementary school teacher! oc, age gap (oc is 30, seokjin is 37), seokjin is a dilf, lots of lasagne talk, flirting, kissing, fluff 🥰 words; 9,340
↪︎ chapter index
chapters; i • ii • iii • iv • v • vi • vii • viii • ix • x • epilogue (+ drabbles)
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After you had time to calm down, of course you ended up telling Soojung about what happened on the date. You kept some things to yourself, mainly about how giddy you had felt throughout the whole thing, but you were sure she could see that for herself – she kept looking at you knowingly, and for once she kept the teasing down to a minimum. You ended up staying awake quite late, Soojung opening a bottle of wine. You were still excited from the date and the thought of what was to come next, but somewhere along the line, you and your best friend started getting into your feelings. (Was it really a Saturday night until you and Soojung ended it with slightly drunk sappy heart to hearts and hugs? Obviously not…) 
For the first time in a while you felt comfortable enough to open up about your love life (or lack of one) and felt it easy to talk about the past and to even bring up Donghae. He was a forbidden topic for the most part, no matter how much you were over him, but tonight had changed something. You didn’t know how to explain it, and no, it wasn’t because Seokjin was somehow the man of your dreams who had magically made things better with just one date. That was dumb and only happened in cliché Hallmark movies. 
No, it was because tonight had shown you that life goes on. No matter what rock bottom you hit, or how long it took you to get over it, no hurt was forever. You’d been single for a long time, and happy at that – after you’d gotten over the heartbreak of Donghae cheating on you – but tonight you’d had fun. You’d enjoyed yourself, enjoyed Seokjin’s company. You didn’t know what would come of your second date, or if there would be a third, but you were okay with that. You were just living in the moment, and right now you really liked that infuriating-not-so-infuriating bastard. 
You were taking a chance, just like he was, and it was actually pretty exciting…
.
.
You woke up late the next morning, something you didn’t reprimand yourself for because it was summer break after all, but also, you had a raging wine headache that had needed all the shut eye it could get. Your head was still throbbing slightly as you reached for your phone on the bedside table but seeing a text from Seokjin waiting for you made it miraculously disappear. 
Seokjin (10:28am) Hi Y/N, Thank you for such a great time last night. I can’t wait until Saturday. Would it be alright with you if I kept in touch throughout the week?  Seokjin
You giggled to yourself at his insane formalities. Why was that so adorable? But most importantly how could he be both cute and sexy at the same time? He was hellbent on making you lose your mind. You thought about teasing him, asking him when he’d grown comfortable enough to drop the Regards from yesterday, but despite how well last night had gone, and despite how much you loved joking around with him in person, over the phone seemed different. You were still a little nervous – giddy nervous, but nervous, nevertheless. Your conversation from last night with Soojung came back to you, reminding you that this was all too real. You were potentially catching feelings for this man, and it was new, and exciting, but equal parts terrifying now that you’d woken up with a hangover. 
Everything you typed out in reply seemed way too stiff, so growing frustrated, you settled on an emoji to cut through the formalities. 
You (10:49am) I had such a lovely time too, Seokjin. Of course it’s fine to keep in touch. I’m looking forward to Saturday night! 😊
What did he mean exactly about keeping in touch?, you wondered as you got out of bed, padding your way down the stairs and into the kitchen for a much needed glass of ice cold water. A good morning text? A how are you? You knew he was busy with work all week, so you weren’t expecting too much, but just knowing he wanted to stay in contact until next Saturday made you smile to yourself as you waited for his response. 
You didn’t have to wait long. 
Seokjin (10:55am) Great! I’m so excited to try your World famous Italian lasagne 😁
Cute. He’d followed your lead, ditching the last of the formalities and even signing off with an emoji instead. You instantly felt more at ease, but – 
Oh no. 
Why did he have to bring that up and remind you of your humiliating blunder? You knew what would be taking up all of your time for the few days – you needed to perfect this goddamn dish. 
Soojung on the other hand was unbothered by your predicament. Mind in the gutter as always. “Do you think that’s a euphemism for something else?” She asked straight away once you’d shown her your messages a few hours later. 
“Soojung!” You exclaimed, feeling yourself get a little hot in the face. You wish she’d stop bringing up sex, it was stressing you out. You told her as much. 
“You’re the one who’s invited him to your house for a second date.” 
You stared at her, greatly unimpressed. “You know why I invited him here.” 
You’d told her last night. You’d been hit with a surge of confidence when you’d suggested it was your turn to decide on something. In truth though, you didn’t know the first thing about restaurants, you hardly ever ate out, and when you did it was either fast food or at the food court in the department store Soojung worked at. You knew he wouldn’t have minded any choice you’d made, but that didn’t stop the slight apprehension you felt. 
It was normal, given your difference in lifestyles, and whilst that seemed to be no issue thankfully, that difference was still there. However really, that’s why you’d chosen to cook for him. Seokjin had shown you something close to him last night – the restaurant he owned with his brother, and now you were to show him something close to your heart. Something that was you. You loved cooking and baking in your spare time and you wanted to share that with him however small. Granted it was things you were confident with, but lasagne couldn’t be that hard, right? A true perfectionist, you’d master it quickly enough…
Soojung rolled her eyes. “I’m sure you could suggest McDonald’s and Dilf would be insanely happy.” She nudged you, squealing like a kid. “He’s just so into you!”
You wouldn’t bite. She was making you nervous again. “Stop calling him Dilf, he has a name.”
“Geez, sorry.” She held up her hands in apology. “Didn’t mean to offend your man.” 
You pushed her shoulder, silently telling her to quit it.
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For the next few days it became your life’s goal to master the art of lasagne. Sunday night was spent googling recipes, trying to find the most authentic one. There seemed to be a lot of fuss on the right type of pasta. Flat edged would be fine, but the wavy edge was best. You made note of that. Next was the sauce. Two types. The tomato based one and then the white one – which you learned was called Bechamel. That seemed pretty easy to cook up, but the former seemed a little daunting. Every time you’d had pasta sauce in the past it had been premade, starting from scratch was giving you anxiety. Seokjin thought this was your expertise so you had to make it believable. What if you made it too salty? Too bland?
…Possibly you were thinking way too hard about this. Soojung thought the same. 
“Just buy it in a jar, Y/N, for Christ’s sake. You’re taking this way too seriously. You don’t need to learn fluent Italian to make your little white lie believable. It’s a goddamn lasagne.” 
She had a point. 
“He’d be happy with a sandwich. He’s coming over for you, not the shitty lasagne.” 
“Don’t call my non-existent lasagne shitty, you’re setting me up for failure.” You grumbled, looking at the ten tabs you had up on your laptop screen, all claiming to be the best most authentic recipe around.  
On Monday you went shopping for ingredients. You knew a small world foods store that was just outside of town, you’d been there a couple of times when you’d been baking with the children for class. With help from signposted aisles, you found what you were looking for in no time at all, so that night, you and Soojung both tucked into your first (sort of) homemade lasagne. Only the Bechamel sauces was harder to master than you’d first thought. 
“I think you added too much flour.” Soojung’s nose wrinkled as she spoke. “It’s nice, don’t get me wrong, but the white stuff… I don’t know, maybe it’s supposed to taste like that?” 
Nope, she was definitely correct, too much flour, which was odd because you were pretty positive you’d followed the right measurements… 
Tuesday you had a day off from the sight, and even the word lasagne. You met for coffee with your mom but kept the date with Seokjin a secret. Not that she pressed about your love life anymore, she’d long given up on that topic. It was nice to catch up and you made plans for a trip soon. It was hard to find time to visit her when you were in work so you were always thankful for the summer and Christmas breaks. You were her only child, so it made your time together even more precious. She’d only remarried ten years ago, and while Jonathon had kids from his first marriage, they lived abroad. They were older than you and had families of their own. You weren’t particularly close for no other reason than the distance. You’d only met them a few times but they were lovely people. Your father had remarried while you were still in high school, having two more children (a son and daughter) with his wife. You were very close to them despite the age gap and saw them as regularly as you could. Your extended family had long been the norm and you wouldn’t change it for the world. 
Wednesday you were back on the lasagne. You purchased more pasta sauce and decided on the pre-made Bechamel sauce too, just to be safe. This time around everything went smoothly, Soojung had no complaints and neither did you, but you still invited Taehyung around on Thursday for a third go. He was way more enthusiastic than your best friend, singing your praises all night. 
“Y/N, that was amazing!” He exclaimed, leaning back in his chair to pat his belly. “Dilf dick – Uh, I mean, Seokjin, is going to love it.” 
“Guys, is that what you really call him when you’re alone together?” You whined. 
“Blame Soo,” Taehyung shrugged. “She’s rubbed off on me. But, I’m right,” he smirked. “He’s going to want to give you his DD once he tastes this, if you know what I mean.” 
Wiggling his eyebrows suggestively, you looked on unimpressed. Maybe if you gave them no reaction they’d stop? 
“Oooo. I wonder what his dick even looks like. I bet it’s as handsome as his face.” Soojung squealed, sat beside her boyfriend. 
“SOOJUNG!” He cried, mouth open in disbelief. 
“Can we just stop talking about his… y’know…” You sighed, unable to say the word aloud. “Imagine if it was the other way around and he was wondering about what I looked like naked.” Soojung wouldn’t be impressed, that was for sure. 
“Fine, you’re right,” your best friend sighed. “I’m just way too excited because you finally like someone!!” She was getting loud now, she always did when she was excited. “And I want it to work out because you deserve it!” 
You chuckled. “Soo, calm down.” But you had to admit her words were sweet. You reached for her hand across the tiny table, giving it a gentle squeeze of thanks. 
“What about Barman dick?” Taehyung asked randomly, totally oblivious that you and she were having a moment. “Huh? Soo? You want my Barman dick tonight?” He wiggled his eyebrows again, a playfulness to his voice as he nudged her. 
She giggled but wasn’t having any of it. “It doesn’t really have the same ring to it, babe.” 
Highly offended he pulled away, pursing his lips. “Whatever.”
“Okay guys, let’s not have a domestic at the dining table.” You laughed. Which was a mistake because now Taehyung’s attention was back on you. 
“So, Y/N, when are you going to invite Mr. Dilf to my bar?”
You sniggered. “How about never?”
“Hey, you ladies are being very mean tonight. I complimented your lasagne.” Hm. That was true, you guessed. “What’s wrong with my bar? I think he’d love it. What does he drink? I see him as a dark rum type of guy.” 
You shrugged. “He was drinking red wine on our date last week.” It still made you feel funny to say the word date. You’d gone on a date. You were dating. A flurry of excitement found its way to your stomach, your excitement for Saturday growing. 
“Interesting,” Taehyung mused.
Soojung stood up, starting to collect your plates. “Okay, I’m washing, who’s drying?”
“Not me,” you sang. “I’ve cooked nearly every night this week.” 
Soojung eyes were wide when you met them, as if she was silently begging you. For what? “Just please promise me there won’t be any lasagne waiting for me after work tomorrow night? I’m going to turn into one at this rate.” 
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Saturday arrived soon enough. You woke up the same time your phone went Bing and you knew exactly who it was. Seokjin had been texting you Good morning every day since Monday. He was no longer signing them off with his name, which was progress, and he was even adding more emojis, so you guessed you had rubbed off on him. 
Sometimes he’d drop a meme with the greeting. They were mostly to do with early mornings and workloads to which you’d tease him about because it was your summer vacation after all, you didn’t need to worry about work. But you always sent a Hope today runs smoothly his way too. You didn’t want to rub it in too much. 
Yesterday’s meme had been about dating, something about the guy trying to flirt but being garbage at it and asking if she liked cheese. You didn’t agree that was like Seokjin though – you were gradually learning that he was incredibly modest – but it had made you laugh. Only Seokjin could send you lame memes and you’d find it adorable… You were possibly whipped. 
Seokjin (8:01am)  Good morning. [Image sent] 
Today the meme was about lasagne, which made you question whether he was googling these every morning because no way had a lasagne meme popped up on his social media – if he used any at all. The realisation that he was searching for memes every day was even more endearing and your heart got a little gooey. You read the text on top of the image of lasagne. Dude, is that your new white shirt? Lemme just hop off this fork for a closer look. You genuinely laughed at that one, still wrapped up in your bed sheets. So incredibly lame, but equal levels funny. 
Seokjin (8:01am)  I will not be wearing white… I can’t wait to see you later. Just a reminder that I hope you omitted the garlic for tonight’s meal. I don’t want to embarrass myself by itching all night 😅😂
Immediately the smile dropped from your face and you shot forward, horror washing over you. Oh no. He was allergic to garlic. With the stress of perfecting the world’s best lasagne you’d totally forgotten. What were you going to do? Find a plain tomato sauce? Where the hell were you going to find one? Was that even a thing? You needed to leave now. Jumping out of bed you almost forgot to message Seokjin back. Looking at your phone again the image of the lasagne mocked you… 
.
.
Two hours later you were back at home, in need of a sit down after you’d rushed around town looking for a pasta sauce that didn’t contain garlic (very hard, by the way.) The stress had aged you about ten years. Soojung of course found it highly hilarious. 
“You’d have been in ER before 9pm,” she chortled, still in her pyjamas on the couch. She’d been still asleep when you’d dashed off, a woman on a lasagne mission. 
You ignored her. It wouldn’t have been that bad, right? He said himself he’d only be itching… Clawing off his own skin was probably better than his throat closing up… maybe… 
“How did you manage to forget?” She was still laughing. “AND you said you’d make a lasagne. Italian food always uses garlic. He must think you’re trying to kill him.” At this point you could hardly understand her, words blurring into one as she lost her shit. 
“We went over this. I wasn’t in my right mind when I said I’d cook lasagne.”
She stopped her laugher immediately.  “No way, you’re not blaming me again.” 
“Ugh.” You sighed, suddenly remembering something. “I was going to make my homemade garlic bread.” Now that was a speciality of yours. This night was going to be a disaster.
“Skip the garlic,” Soojung suggested. 
“So, just bread then.” 
She tried her best not to laugh again, not wanting to make it worse. “Yum.” 
It didn’t help. 
What did help though, was making her clean the entirety of the downstairs of the house. As the day went on you started to get more and more nervous, which was silly, but you couldn’t help it. You realised that your place was a shoe box in comparison to his, what the hell were you thinking when you’d invited him here?! It needed to be spotless, to distract him from the fact you would be eating dinner in the same place you would be cooking it… 
You knew there was no need to worry, it was just like last week when you’d grown self-conscious only to be fine once you’d set eyes on Seokjin. No doubt tonight would be just the same, he didn’t give a crap about stuff like that, so why would you even think he would? He’d probably be hurt if he knew… You just couldn’t help those little bubbles of insecurities from floating around inside your brain. You were a law unto yourself, and the garlic-less lasagne wasn’t helping. You’d had no time to prep for it. What if it tasted like cardboard? 
“Lasagne is lasagne,” Soojung reassured you, in the kitchen as you got all the ingredients together. “It’s not going to taste gross just because there’s no garlic in it. Put it this way, at least you can kiss without needing to pop a mint.” 
You whined, shaking your head, you couldn’t even dare thinking about kissing him right now. You’d spontaneously combust from anxiety. 
“Should we clean your room too?” She asked, picking up the jar of pasta sauce absentmindedly. You’d already read the label approximately fifteen times, double checking it was indeed garlic-less. 
“What? No,” you told her, voice all high-pitched. There would be no going upstairs besides from bathroom usage. “But hey,” you exclaimed, rounding on her with the spoon you were holding in your hand. “My room is always clean, bitch.”
She was the messy one.
.
.
Soojung left for Taehyung’s place at half 6, ready for Seokjin’s arrival at 7pm, a hug for good luck before you waved her off. You’d calmed greatly now, nothing like some table laying to ease some nerves. The lasagne was prepped and ready to oven cook, you had a fresh key lime pie in the fridge and you were dressed and presentable with ten minutes to spare. Wonderful. 
The doorbell rung not long after you’d made your way downstairs and you were quickly finding out that Seokjin was a very punctual man. Opening the door to reveal him stood at the porch your heart instantly warmed, skipping a beat when he gave you a dazzling smile and a soft Hey. You felt a little weak at the knees. Nope, you were not ready for tonight. 
In your tiny entryway he offered you a silver gift bag. “I didn’t know what to bring, so.” He said with a shrug as you pulled out a bottle of red wine. 
“Oh, thank you, Seokjin.” You hadn’t been expecting him to bring anything at all. It was a lovely surprise. 
“You probably have some waiting already. I’m sorry.”
“No, no, it’s fine,” you reassured him. “We’ll use this one.” You were going to use a bottle of white wine you had laying around, nothing special at all. Red wine seemed better, fancier, maybe it would go better with the lasagne?
“Are you sure?” He asked. “I was gonna get you flowers but I didn’t want to freak you out or anything.”
You laughed. What was he going on about? “Why would that freak me out?”
His smile was crooked as he chuckled quietly. “I don’t know. I’m new to this, I thought they would’ve been too forward.” 
You gave a small shrug, voice barely there when you replied. “I like flowers.”
He gazed at you, warm eyes softening as he stepped forward. “Next time.” He smiled. “Next time I’ll get you flowers.” 
You swallowed fairly loudly, averting your gaze as you outstretched your arms. “Let me take you coat.” Was it hot in here? You felt a little stuffy. 
He shrugged off the beige wool blend, revealing the tight fitting black shirt he had on underneath. It stretched over his shoulders, accentuating how broad they were, how hard his chest was and how much his waist curved inwards. The pants he was wearing didn’t help matters too. He looked effortlessly gorgeous, hair parted to the side, a piece curled above his left eye, softening the blow of his exposed forehead. You moved to hook his coat on the rack, realising you could’ve been gawping. Not that you could help it, the man was trying to kill you.
As you turned to face him again, he smiled. “You look really nice.” His voice was soft which just made it even more dangerous. “I think this may be the first time I’ve seen you in pants.” 
“Really?” You wondered. You were partial to a dress in the summer, so he was probably right. You’d chosen a pair of black skinny jeans and a patterned chiffon blouse. Nothing too fancy, but he looked at you with awe-filled eyes. Unless you were imagining it. You cleared your throat. “You look good too.”
He stepped back, arms outstretched as he looked down at himself. “Thanks. No white.” He chuckled. 
You forced yourself to laugh too, nerves creeping back just because of your stupid damn lasagne. “No white.” 
Moving forward again he took your hand. It was warm and soft, just as you remembered from last week. Who cared about the lasagne when you were this close to him? When he was looking down at you with those brown, twinkly eyes? Not you anymore. 
“I’ve been looking forward to this all week, Y/N.” 
Oh.
.
.
You invited him inside the living room first, pouring him a small (and his only because he the car) glass of wine as you chit chatted for a few minutes. Sat next to him was RJ, who you’d taken from your bedroom to join you both for the night. He wanted to say Hi, had been your opening line and Seokjin had found it hilarious, cracking up instantly. Although his “I missed you buddy, how have you been?” went rudely ignored. Maybe the alpaca was nervous… 
Ever the gentleman, he complimented you on the house, noting the décor with a fond eye. That surprised you, maybe he had played a part with the interior of his home. Well, you’d only seen the cosy family room – but it suited him very well. You knew there had been no need to be nervous when it came to inviting him into your home. There wasn’t a judging bone in Seokjin’s body. 
You talked about your weeks, yours had been fine, but of course you left out all the stress over the lasagne. Seokjin’s week on the other hand had been quite demanding, but that was nothing new he told you with an accepting shake of his hand. He was used to it by now, but he had to admit tonight’s date had made it easier this time around. He was full of the charm, not that you were complaining…
Misook was babysitting Arin tonight, he told you when you asked how she was. It was his weekend this week, he and Nana took it in turns – when she didn’t cancel, he added as an afterthought – but he seemed a lot more relaxed talking about his ex-wife this time around seeing as last weekend she hadn’t broken any promises. He was happy if his daughter was happy, and that made you smile. You remembered Arin’s sorrowful face that day her mom had cancelled on her, so you were glad they’d found time to spend time together. You also remembered how irritated Seokjin had sounded when he was opening up to you on the bench at the school fate… You wondered just how often Nana cancelled plans, and couldn’t imagine how frustrating that was for both Arin and Seokjin… You hoped this marked the start of things being easier for them now. 
Soon after that, you served him your starter (“garlic – wait, no I mean, no-garlic bread.”), and you chatted some more over that and while the lasagne baked. It was surprising how little you’d touched the sides on your first date, so tonight you covered even more bases. Family mainly. You told him about your half and step siblings, your parents’ remarriages of course coming up too. He seemed interested in that, wondering about your views on it and if it had affected you as you grew up. As a divorcee you understood the relevance to him and because he was so easy to talk to you found yourself opening up freely. 
His parents were still married and Seokjin was the youngest out of their two sons, so it was quite unheard of for the second born to take over a family company. In fact, it was the first of its kind for his, which made it even harder for him. His older brother had been the rightful heir to LG Electronics but his passion had always been in culinary arts. His parents had been kind enough to let him follow his dreams, and thankfully, for Seokjin, that meant he could follow in his father’s footsteps. He’d been eager to prove himself but it had been hard in the beginning. His status as the youngest son meant that a lot of people set him up for failure, but with his family’s love and belief he’d managed to succeed and confirm himself as the rightful CEO. You didn’t doubt it. It seemed he’d worked hard to get where he was now. That was admirable. 
The influx of information was so interesting to you and it didn’t feel real. While you could imagine Seokjin taking charge, visualising him in that tailored houndstooth suit he’d worn when you’d first met him, it was strange to think the smiley and soft-spoken man sat in front of you was from a long line of power and wealth. He should be untouchable, yet here you were able to reach for his hand across the table. Able to feel his forefinger stroking delicate patterns into your palm as you opened up and got to know one another more and more… 
“So, if your family’s a big deal, what about things like arranged marriages? Are they still a thing?” You asked, maybe confusing fiction for fact. 
Seokjin laughed at your wording. “They used to be, not so much anymore. I met my ex-wife through a friend. They concentrate less on things like that these days.” He shrugged, adding as an afterthought, “As a divorced CEO I think I’m a great example of that.” 
That was true, you thought to yourself, wondering how the breakdown of his marriage had also played a part in the stress of his early years as CEO. 
“I know it all sounds pretty crazy, but I like to think my family is just like anyone else’s.” He continued, smiling bashfully when you met his gaze. “That I’m just like anyone else.” 
You wondered how many people had immediately judged him because of his status… You’d been one of them, right? Even if you hadn’t known any of the details, you’d written him off as some obnoxious, rich guy who flaunted his wealth… You felt guilty thinking back. He was the complete opposite.
You nodded in agreement before grinning. “I’d have liked to see what college Seokjin was like.” 
“A complete nerd, to tell you the truth.” 
He answered so seriously, you didn’t know how to react, and then he was laughing loudly, cracking up at himself. You couldn’t help but join in. That’s when your stove alarm went off, shrill and incessant, signalling the arrival of the dreaded lasagne…
It turned out he loved it though. 
“This is amazing,” Seokjin praised, mouth still half full as he chewed. You did have to admit it was good. It tasted just like the original, despite the lack of garlic. Seokjin quirked an eyebrow, smirking your way. “So, how lucky am I to be able to try this World famous Italian lasagne?” 
“Very lucky.” You kept your answer short. Hoping he’d just drop it. 
He didn’t. 
“How lucky?” He tried to pry from you. “How many people have tried it?” 
You gave him a small smile, hovering your fork over the plate. Technically he was the third, but you couldn’t tell him that, could you? “I can’t disclose that.” 
He emitted a short laugh. “What about the recipe? Care to share?” 
You brushed him off with a soft chuckle. “A chef never tells her secrets.”
“Not even me?” His bottom lip jutted out as he looked across at you. 
Your heart did a little dance. He was being unfair. “Don’t pout like that, it’s making me feel guilty.” 
Thankfully the lasagne topic fizzled out after a couple more minutes, your cold sweat having time to dissipate while you chatted and ate together comfortably. However a few minutes later you noticed Seokjin fidgeting slightly in his seat. You politely ignored it to begin with, unsure if you were just imagining it, but then he started itching the back of his neck. You put your fork down, a sick feeling washing over you. “Is anything wrong?” You asked, now watching him itch up his forearm. “Seokjin?”
He looked at you in mild confusion, eyebrows creasing together as he opened his mouth. “Are you sure there wasn’t any garlic in this?” 
You swallowed away the panic racing up your throat. “I’m sure.” You’d read the back of that jar and then read it some more. “I’m positive.” 
… Weren’t you? You watched him scoot his chair back, leaning down to start scratching the back of his calves. He made noises of discomfort as he did so. 
“Oh, no…” You were up before you could stop yourself, racing around him to start hunting in the recycling for the glass jar. 
“Wait, where are you going?” 
You could hear Seokjin’s voice behind you, sounding alarmed, but you were too panicked to really take it in. You needed to be sure. This was just your second date, you couldn’t ruin things already. Turning him into one giant itchy red blob had not been your intention.  
“I was only teasing you.” Still, his words didn’t sink in. That was until you felt a hand on your elbow, tugging gently for your attention. 
You spun around, worried eyes wide – even wider when you found him so close. He was on his feet too, bent a little to level with you, pretty much within kissing distance. His voice was soft when he spoke, you found yourself distracted by his mouth. “Y/N, I was just messing around.”
You blinked, not truly understanding with all those annoying distractions zooming around your mind, but slowly you pieced his words together. Oh. Despite the relief you felt, now you just felt silly. Plus, he was still so close to you… 
You took a step back, the small of your back pressing up against the counter. You needed a clear head. “Don’t freak me out like that.” You told him, but you still sighed in relief, hand against your chest. “I thought I’d poisoned you.” 
He looked a little concerned, but you could tell by his eyes he found your reaction amusing. “I’m sorry,” he apologised. “I just wanted to make you laugh.”
“Make me laugh? You nearly gave me heart failure.” However, you gave him what he wanted, a laugh that sounded weak and shaky, but it was something – you did see the funny side. 
He joined you, shoulders relaxing now that he knew you were okay. He looked behind you, eyes on the trashcan, a bemused smile on his face. “What were you looking for anyway?”
“The jar.” You answered, as if it wasn’t obvious. You turned, deciding to fish it out anyway. Holding it up to him, you were adamant. “See, no garlic. Check.” 
He chuckled. “I already said I was joking.” He took one look at your desperate expression and gave in, taking the jar from your hand. “But if it makes you feel better…” You watched him as he read the label, silently soaking in his handsome features. He looked softer tonight, the curve of his jaw rounding as he smiled. It took you a moment to realise he was done. He handed the jar back to you, and you prayed to God he hadn’t caught you staring at him all gooey-eyed. “It’s fine.” He confirmed. “I’ll be itch free tonight.” 
You smiled and plopped the glass back inside the can. “I looked around town for hour trying to find lasagne sauce sans garlic.” 
He looked guilty. “I’m sorry for being awkward.” Then he paused, eyes narrowing, the hint of a smirk itching at the corners of his mouth. “But… Y/N, are you a fraud?” Huh? What did he mean? You didn’t need to wait long for an explanation. “I thought a certified chef would cook up a batch of her own tomato sauce.”
Oh. You’d gone and put your foot in it, hadn’t you? It was probably time to explain yourself… “I have a confession,” you began, sounding wary. Seokjin looked interested albeit it mildly confused. “I… may have told a little white lie.”
He shook his head, a puff of laughter leaving him. “You’ve lost me.” 
You took a deep breath, knowing you were going to have to spell it out for him. “I’ve never made lasagne before. Ever. In my entire life.” 
He looked confused as silence spread out between you. He sounded it too when he spoke again. “Then why did you say it was your speciality?”
You groaned, dropping your face into your hands for one dramatic moment. “I panicked.” Peeking at him, you babbled on. “I know it sounds stupid but Soojung was curtain twitching and it was stressing me out and then you were asking me what I cooked and lasagne just popped into my head!”
Seokjin blinked, his mouth twitched and then he was laughing – loudly. 
“You find it funny?” You asked, relaxing a tad. 
“Very.” He laughed harder but seeing the look of bafflement on your face he tried is best to still it. 
“I’ve been practicing it like crazy,” you whined, happy you could finally tell him all about your lasagne struggles. “This is my fourth time eating it this week. Soojung nearly killed me.” You snorted at the memory. This started up Seokjin again. “And then I forgot you were allergic to garlic. Your text reminded me this morning and I had to rush out to the grocery store.” 
He was weak at the knees at that, and you were laughing just because he was. It was contagious. “Stop,” you wailed, attempting to get a hold of yourself. This week had actually been quite traumatic. “I’m glad you find it funny, I’ve been in constant stress ever since you drove off last week.” 
“I can’t help it.” He chuckled, although he did sound apologetic. “You’re just so adorable.” The air that settled around his effortless admission made your skin prickle. When he carried on, his tone was gentle. “You know I wouldn’t have minded if you changed the menu to something else, right?” 
You pouted ever so slightly. “But you were looking forward to it.” 
He gave a small shrug. “True, but… that was more so code for ‘I’m looking forward to seeing you again.’ The food was just a bonus. I’d be happy with a Big Mac.” 
You felt your cheeks burn and you tried to shake yourself out of it. “So embarrassing,” you murmured. You didn’t know what for… The lasagne mess or the fact he could have this much of an effect of you? You were inclined to go with the latter. 
“What about the no-garlic bread?” Seokjin asked, changing the subject a little. Maybe he’d sensed your embarrassment and didn’t want to make it worse. He was sweet. “Did you make that?”
“Yeah,” you nodded. “Well, I didn’t bake the bread. I just toasted it.” It was still a speciality of yours though. “It would’ve been much tastier with the garlic.” 
He gave you an apologetic smile. “Sorry about that. This body wants to turn me into a miserable old man.” 
Pfft. Old? Miserable? He was anything but. 
“Sit,” he prompted you, smiling as he motioned with his head to the table. “Finish your World famous Italian lasagne before it grows cold.” 
As you moved he delicately cupped his hand around the curve your waist, giving it a soft squeeze before he got to his chair first. Your stomach flipped, head dizzy as you sat and tucked your chair in. Last Saturday popped into your head, the way you’d loosely held hands outside and how you were sure he’d been leaning in to kiss you – properly. 
You knew one thing. You really wanted to kiss him tonight. 
Trying to get a hold of yourself, you glanced at him, catching his eyes. He was already tucking in again, and he grinned bashfully, as if embarrassed. “This really is great. All that practice paid off.” A pause. “You should show me how you cooked it sometime.” 
Your face lit up in surprise. “You cook?” In the back of your mind you were aware that he’d probably been hinting for a third date, but you were so shocked by the possibly of Seokjin cooking you couldn’t stop yourself from asking. 
He chuckled quietly. “I mean, when I have time and can be bothered. I like cooking but it’s just easier to go to a restaurant or get it delivered.” He looked sheepish before adding, “Or Misook does it for me.” 
There was no shame when it came to that. Seokjin probably worked all hours of the day, no one could expect him to tie on an apron when he got home and start pulling out pots and pans. 
“Do you cook a lot?” He asked. 
You nodded. “Soojung and I take it in turns.” 
“So what is your speciality?” He smiled. 
This time around you were in your right mind and able to answer properly. “Veggie tacos.” 
He raised his eyebrows, impressed. Then he tried again. “Can you make them for me sometime?”
He was persistent, you’d give him that. You shrugged, trying your best to sound impassive but the little smirk gave it away. “Maybe if you say please…” 
He laughed, leaning forward, a hand clasping yours as he tilted his head. The piece of curled hair falling into his left eye. “Please?”
Your heart did another little dance inside your chest. 
.
After dessert you both made your way back to the living room, settling on your couch with two pomegranate mocktails Taehyung had prepared for you yesterday. All you had to do was add the pomegranate juice and lemonade to the ice cubes and crushed lime segments and mint before serving, easy-peasy. Seokjin was highly impressed, but of course you couldn’t take the credit. It was all down to your best friend’s very helpful barman boyfriend. 
You were glad Seokjin wanted to stay as you didn’t want the night to be over yet. It had flown by so fast and you’d had so much fun. You already felt like you knew him better, even after only two dates. It was strange to you, how you could feel so relaxed in a stranger’s company, but then again, you guessed he wasn’t a stranger anymore… Plus, he was so easy to talk to, so interesting to get to know…. Everything between you two came easy. 
Like opening up to him, being a bit more vulnerable… 
“I’ve been slightly nervous all week,” you admitted, clutching your drink to you before chuckling softly. “– and not just about the lasagne faux pas…” 
“There was no need to be nervous. I thought we left all that behind on the first date,” Seokjin reassured, smiling warmly your way. 
You were sat together, turned to face one another. It was intimate and cosy. He had one leg lifted, the ankle resting on the knee of the other leg, and where his pants had ridden up, you could see an inch or so of his calf before it met the black cotton of his sock. For some reason, you found that very, very sexy. Maybe you had been single for far too long. 
“We did,” you agreed, hesitating slightly. “It’s just… I haven’t done anything like this in so long.” 
You didn’t even think you’d ever invited someone around for dinner before. You were still quite young when you found yourself in a relationship with Donghae so your dates before him had been very basic. Your dates with him hadn’t really classed as such just because you became official fairly quickly, and your dates after him, well, it was already known that they had been few and far between. 
“You already know we’re in the same boat,” he smiled before chuckling bashfully. “No, but really, when I asked you for dinner that day at the fate I was expecting you to turn me down.” 
“How come?”
He looked down at his drink, lifting a shoulder. “I thought you’d think that I was crossing a line… or maybe the spark I was feeling was all in my head and in reality you just found me really annoying.” 
That was cute. He’d been doubting himself. Human after all. Not that you’d ever thought he wasn’t. You still didn’t miss the opportunity to joke around though. “I mean, both can exist simultaneously.” He taking a sip of his mocktail when you replied so he ended up snorting into his glass, amused by your wit. 
A moment or so passed and Seokjin gazed at you, smiling softly. If he kept this up, you’d be a puddle on your parquet flooring. “So, tell me,” he hummed. “How did I luck out so good?” You raised an eyebrow, wondering what he meant. “How come an amazing person like you isn’t married or in a relationship?”
He must’ve seen the slight shock on your face and panicked instantly. “Is that a weird thing to ask? I feel like it is. I apologise.”
“No,” you insisted, sitting up a little straighter. He followed. “No, it’s not.” You wanted to open up to him. You really did. You just didn’t know where to start. Although, it was pretty simple. “I’ve been single for a while.” 
“How long?” Seokjin was instantly focused, attentive, noticing the change in your body language. 
“Three years. My last relationship didn’t end very well.” You paused, wondering if you should continue. But then… It had been a massive part of your life. No matter how much time had passed and no matter how okay you were now, it had still happened. And Seokjin, he had trusted you enough to open up about his divorce – even before you’d gone on your first date. You wanted to talk about it. You really did. 
“I found out my fiancé was cheating on me.”  
Seokjin’s eyes widened, unable to cloak his surprise. He hadn’t been expecting that. “I’m sorry to hear that,” he said sincerely. 
“It’s fine,” you smiled. “It was rough getting over it. Took me a while, but it is what it is. It’s in the past now.” 
“Did it put you off dating?” 
You were pleasantly surprised to find it was actually easy to talk to Seokjin about this. Your mouth was opening before you had to think about it. “I mean, at first. I was still very much in love with him, even after he broke my heart. But I got over him and I started dating again – briefly – It just didn’t feel right.” You stopped to smile. “It’s been over a year and I can’t say I missed it… but you…” Nerves growing, you pushed them away. “You’ve changed that. I’m having fun.” 
Seokjin’s face lit up and he chuckled. “I did hit second date status after all.” 
“You did…” 
“So,” he leaned closer, a small smirk on his face. “You could say, hitting your car that day wasn’t actually my fault because it was supposed to happen.” 
You snorted as you laughed, head falling against the back of the couch. “I wouldn’t go that far.” 
He made a sound. “But we wouldn’t have met otherwise.” 
“We would!” You exclaimed. “The parent-teacher meeting.” 
He blinked, feeling dumb. “Oh, yeah.” 
It wouldn’t have had the same effect, granted, but you would have become acquainted with one another regardless. “Would you have still liked me?” You asked without thinking, surprising yourself. 
“Yes,” he replied immediately. “I was instantly attracted to you after all, it’s just…” Instantly attracted? Definitely a charmer... “There would’ve been no way for me to get to know you like I did.”
You narrowed your eyes. “You’re really adamant that you had to reverse into my car to make this work, huh.”
He shrugged casually. “It was the only way.” 
You laughed quietly, finishing the last of your drink. Time was getting on, it was pretty late, Seokjin had already finished his, you watched him sit up to lean forward and place the glass on your coffee table. His shirt tightened across his shoulder blades and you could see his back muscles as he stretched. Oh.  
Settling back into the same position, he looked over at you and grinned. His teeth were perfect. Did this man have zero flaws? Why were you so whipped? It was embarrassing. 
“I had fun tonight,” you told him, trying to keep a lid on whatever was going on with you right now. 
He seemed pleased with that, nodding his head. “I’m happy to hear that you think I’m a fun person.” 
You scoffed, body falling closer to his. Your shoulders brushed together. Seokjin didn’t take his eyes off you. “Hm. I don’t think I said that.” 
“Hey, don’t be so mean.” He murmured, one side of his mouth quirking up. 
Like you couldn’t stop yourself, your hand reached for the collar of shirt. He had the top two buttons loose and your pinkie finger brushed against his collarbone. Sparks flew, but you tried to ignore them. “I thought you liked it when I was mean.” You teased, voice low. 
Seokjin hummed, his eyes still twinkled like they always did but there was something else to them, a depth that made you feel funny. He sunk closer to you. So close you could study the thick curve of his eyelashes, notice that both his eyelids were different. He really did have beautiful eyes. You could stare at them forever. 
Preoccupied, you slowly realised that he was watching you too, studying your features in the golden glow of the floor lamp that hovered over the couch. His lips parted, you heard them rather than saw it, but then your attention was on them again. Just like it had been earlier on in the night. He was staring at yours too as he spoke. “I wanted to kiss you last week.” 
You heartbeat quickened but you tried to keep cool. “You did kiss me.” You laughed. 
He sighed. “On the cheek.”  
You lightly tugged his collar, fingertips now brushing the skin of his chest. “Isn’t that what you said you wanted to do?”
You could feel his own heartbeat against your forearm that was pressed into him. It was definitely running a little faster than it was supposed to – stronger. “Yes, but…” He glanced up to your eyes. “I was just being polite. I wanted to kiss your lips.”
It felt like you were holding your breath. Maybe you were, you just couldn’t think straight. Time seemed to stretch out, but you knew what you wanted. So you went after it. Giving him a small smile, you replied. “Maybe I wanted that too.” 
He swallowed, voice so low now it was barely a murmur. “Is that an invitation?” His eyes bounced to your lips again, then back to your eyes as he asked permission. “Can I kiss you?”
You ever so slightly dragged your bottom lip beneath your teeth as you nodded, breath catching in your throat as Seokjin leaned forward and closed the distance between you. The hand in between your bodies moved to delicately hold the wrist of your arm against his chest, holding you there as his other hand reached for your jaw, angling your face to press a kiss to your mouth. His eyes were already closed so you followed. 
He hummed at the contact, his lips soft and warm and you let yourself sink. His actions were light at first, faint as he kept constant pressure, as if he was familiarising himself with the sensation. You couldn’t even let yourself think about how this was the first kiss you’d shared with someone for a very long time. All that was going through your mind was how good it felt to be touched like this by him. 
He readjusted the hand on your face, tucking some hair behind your ear to cup your cheek. You liked that. You liked it when he touched you, and he eased from your mouth completely before coming back with a firmer pressure. It was your turn to make a sound; a tiny gasp as your lips began to move together ever so slowly. He liked that, a hum of satisfaction vibrating against the soft skin of your lips. You clutched at his shirt, gathering the crisp cotton in your fist, that would surely turn it creased, but he didn’t seem to mind. He was too preoccupied with reaching for the glass you’d forgotten was hugged to your body by your free hand. 
He unclasped it from your fingers and had no choice but to break away from your mouth to put it next to his on the coffee table. You whined, attempting to tug him back to you, and he chuckled, taking a hold of one of your hands. “I’ll be back,” he whispered, leaning forward to place the cocktail glass down. 
And he was. 
This time he used both of his hands to grasp your face and dive back in. He was more confident this time, moving in such a way his lips pried yours open. You reached for his shoulders, grasping them to hold him closer and this time you both made noises – sweet, quiet ones that worked beautiful together as your lips moulded with gradual urgency. 
When your hands found the nape of his neck, fingers through his hair, he had to drag the tip of his tongue across your bottom lip, seeking entry. You met it with yours, tasting hints of pomegranate and lime with each wash of tongue. A hand of his slipped down to your side, stroking up and down the curve as if he couldn’t help but to touch you. He settled at your hip after a moment, the other splayed against the side of your neck, his thumb rolling small circles under your cheekbone. 
This was getting addictive. You could tell by the way you moaned softly against each warm, wet curl of his tongue. This was everything you’d imagined and more – because you had imagined it. Late and secretly at night when you were trying to drift off to sleep and thoughts of lasagne were banished… You were glad your first kiss was here, inside, on your couch, because this wasn’t something for the open, your knees wouldn’t have been able to hold you up. 
You could have kissed him forever, you mean, you definitely didn’t want it to stop but you pretty much had to. Breathing was a necessity, right? If you couldn’t breathe you wouldn’t be able to ever kiss Seokjin again and that would be absolutely awful… 
You did it the right way though – gradually. Seokjin slowed it right down, only hints of his tongue left as he hummed indulgently, like he was savouring your taste before he had to inevitably pull away. It made your insides jump around like crazy, hearing him enjoying himself, and you tried your best to come to when he started easing the pressure of his lips, pressing small, chaste kisses to them instead as you ultimately (but slowly) broke apart. 
You opened your eyes, blinking up at him, hands falling from his hair, aware you had become one with your cushions. You struggled to free yourself as he sat back and you watched him smile fondly at you. His breath was shaky – so was yours, and you were sure his hands trembled slightly as one reached up to scratch the back of his neck. His neck that was blotched with red, flushed, travelling to his cheeks. They were rosier than you’d ever seen them before. Your gut stirred. 
“I’ve been dreaming of that,” he told you, before making a face at himself. “Too cringey?” 
You giggled – it sounded foreign. “Just a bit.” But didn’t deter the fact you loved it. 
You warmed when you felt him squeeze your hip, realising his hand was still there and you reached for it, tangling your fingers with his. He pulled them to his mouth, kissing your knuckles softly. His expression was thoughtful when he lowered your hands. “In all seriousness, thank you for giving me a chance, after well, you know, everything.”
You smiled, touched by his earnestness, but it was hard to keep a sane mind when his lips were as kiss bitten as they were – deep pink and glistening. You wanted to kiss his face off. 
“It’s no problem,” you quipped, as if you were doing him a favour. 
He chuckled tenderly, and luckily for you he was unable to stop himself from kissing you again. He reached forward, hooking a finger under your chin to press his mouth to yours softly. “I’d really love if we could keep on doing… this.” He murmured. 
“The dating or the kissing,” you grinned, stealing another kiss in the process. 
“Hm,” he contemplated. “Both preferably.” 
And then you were on one another again, eager once more. 
Although, you did manage to pull away briefly to tell him something, his mouth moving to the side of your face to kiss there instead as your hands dragged down his back. You were somehow able to get the words out – ones that made him laugh against your wet jaw. 
“I’m so glad you hit my car.” 
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Written 2020 - 2021.  Please refrain from posting my work elsewhere. No translations allowed. © floralseokjin 2021
1K notes · View notes
kkusuka · 3 years
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Helloooo, your writing on the aftermath hc was just ✨immaculate✨ please if you can write more to those i would be super mega happy, just if you want lol. Also I am loving your blog! Hope you have a nice day and a happy new year! <3
stardust you have my heart
da bois : matsukawa, suna, kyotani (daddy maddog), kuroo, daichi, oikawa, futakuchi
pt.1 
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matsukawa issei
𝚊 𝚗𝚘𝚝𝚒𝚌𝚎𝚊𝚋𝚕𝚎 𝚕𝚒𝚖𝚙 ☀︎︎
simply, he has a big dick
and god does he know how to use it
and he’s a quick learner too, by the second time you two fucked he already knew exactly where to aim for you to feel the best
and this is where it all began
what’s worse is sex gets better and better every time he’s in you
but better=harder=longer= you look like you’ve been hit my a car
or was lifting weights the entire night before
the two of you have mastered just ignoring the looks and just the limp in general
but it seemed some people just couldn’t get past it
“ y/n, are you ok? you’ve been limping all week”
yeah issei got a really good laugh at your explaining that you were fine
of course the sex was too good for you to stop
limp or not matsukawa makes it worth it
and having him carry you around the next morning will never get old
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suna rintarou
𝕒 𝕗𝕦𝕝𝕝 𝕔𝕒𝕞𝕖𝕣𝕒 𝕣𝕠𝕝𝕝 ❣︎
even if it’s the total opposite of their school motto, suna likes memories
specifically memories of you bouncing in on his dick
and considering that suna has a fairly high sex drive (no question he’s a horny boy and we know it)
also consider that he not only records but takes pictures, from as many angles as he can
it kills his phone storage!
but you have a phone don’t you? you can just send them to him or something
and by the end of the month both of your camera rolls were full of pictures and videos of you two fucking
even blowjobs
(his favorite tho, a “selfie” of you sitting on his face. back arched and grinding into his face)
yeah the both of you invested in more phone storage and had to filter some stuff to his computer for safe keeping
a tiny little thing
suna doesn’t hide these photos either
all you have to do is open his phone and go to the camera to see anything you’ve pretty much done in the past
this lead to the entire japanese national olympic team seeing more that a few pictures of you losing yourself on him
thanks atsumu, no more selfie’s on suna’s phone
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kyotani kentaro
𝒃𝒆𝒅𝒔𝒉𝒆𝒆𝒕 𝒊𝒎𝒑𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒔 
(bed sheet imprints)
face down ass up, somehow you’re always in this position
and we all know he’s got some pent up anger that has to be released in some way
you see where this is going right?
yeah you aren’t getting out of that position until you collapse, but the hell just kinda pick you back up
you know those really good naps? and how you get those imprints you get?
yeah those are alllllll over you, and he loves it
after sex he gets so soft 🥺
he likes to cuddle and we all know it
he’ll lay your body over his and he’ll just rub your arms and just stare at them
he doesn’t voice it but he loves seeing the physical evidence that you belong to him
aaaannnnddd it gives he more of a reason to hold you in his arms
he tell you it’s because he “feels bad” about marking your skin
you’re not gonna argue against you secretly cuddle loving boyfriend
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kuroo tetsuro
ʀɪᴘᴘᴇᴅ ᴘᴀɴᴛɪᴇs ꕥ
they are just so hard to get off
it takes too long and he’d just rather be in you
its gotten so bad they you walk around your house with not panties on
its not worth wearing them only to be shredded on the floor like they never existed. 
but when you do have your own little protest for your panties
he’ll wave you over  and hook his fingers over the sides of the garment
and yank!!
there they go, like they never existed in the first place
that is until you discover his stash of your ripped underwear in his side of your shared closet. 
eventually you run out of underwear to rip
and that means kuroo can take you to the lingere shop and buy you a ton on stuff. 
but that also mean he gets his annual panty fashion show
you could rival the victoria secret girls when you do it for him
sex is just too good for you to be worrying about some silly panties
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sawamura daichi (he is very hot and we need to recognize it) 
𝓪 𝓵𝓲𝓰𝓱𝓽 𝓱𝓮𝓪𝓭 ☯︎︎
Daichi just goes so hard
And he makes you ragasm at leat twice before he’s even in you
Then he fucks you stupid
It is unfair how good he makes you feel
But too many orgasms come with a price
One serious cloudy mind that eventually forms a light head 
You can't even think about what you want to do
Its all just fog and orgasic glow
And he knows it too, he purposely makes you unable to think
But when you do come back, a bath is being run for you
And a sort of tea is next to the bed
With either chocolate or another sweet snack of some sort
Even if he is strict in bed, he takes very good care of his baby, a bath and cuddles are just what you need to get back your working mind
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oikawa tooru
IᑎᗩᗷIᒪIY TO ᖴOᖇᗰ ᗯOᖇᗪs
This man is lateral mind fuck
Two things play into your inability to speak almost every time he fucks you
One, he wants to hear you scream for him
And that you do
Well you ready don't have a choice in the matter
But after your throat goes raw, you can still mumble some words? 
No no no
That won’t do, not at all
So he fucks you as hard and longs as his amazing stamina will allow him too, making you an incompentent mound of flesh
No more words and an accomplished tooru are what you always seem to zone back in to.  
But like always he’ll make you some tea and set up a little move and cuddle session
Your voice still hurts in the morning but its all worth it in the end
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futakuchi kenji
ⒶⓃ ⒺⒼⓄ ⓇⒾⒹⒹⒺⓃ ⒷⓄⓎ 𓀬
Anything gives this man an ego trip
Moan loudly he’s giving you that stupidly hot smirk
So when you really get off from him he practically sparkling
He doesn't even try to hide it either
He walks around boasting about it
He is so full of himself its ridiculous 
But it’s rightfully so, he makes you feel like you're on cloud nine every time he gets a finger on you. 
And you should NEVER tell him that, like ever ever
He also tells you that he cuddles you after sex because YOU need it
Yeah liar, he likes it just as much as you do
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Text
Summer Break(down)
Warnings: noncon sexual acts and rape, weed, breeding/forced pregnancy.
This is dark!Lee Bodecker and explicit. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.
Based on this drabble request: Lee + interrogation + breeding/forced pregnancy + “you think your father would still love you if he knew?”+ Reader is mayor's daughter and get caught by Lee) smoking weed , so she is forced to give her purity to him +  Reader is a sweet innocent girl that refuses Bodecker's advances, which makes him very angry so he forcefully gets her pregnant in a fucked up revenge plot to ruin her life and leave her as the scarlet letter in town.  Requested by anon and @jaceyneedsabetterusername​
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You puffed the smoke and coughed it up in a painful cloud. Your throat burned as the acrid taste stained your tongue. You held out the burning joint to Darla and she chuckled as she watched you struggle. She took a log drag and blew rings in the air and handed it off to Mia.
“A whole year at college and you ain’t never tried it,” Darla teased, “what are ya doin’ up there?”
“Studying,” you rubbed your throat and refused another hit as your eyes watered, “you know how my daddy is.”
“Your daddy ain’t livin’ on campus, is he?” Mia trilled, “perfect little mayor’s daughter with her purity ring.”
“Shut up,” you growled, “if I got caught I’d be expelled, okay? I’m here now tryin’ it, aren’t I?”
“Ain’t ya?” Darla mocked, “is that how you talk now? So proper.”
“Christ, what’s gotten into you?” you waved away the smoke as she blew it in your face, “you miss me that much?”
“Nah,” she gave the stubby joint to Mia, “you just actin’ like you’re too good for us now.”
“How so? I’ve been nothing but nice--”
“Nice and sweet and perfect,” Darla muttered, “you running back to your dorm in the fall and I gotta wipe tables down as the eat-in.”
You were quite as her resent bit deep into you. It wasn’t like you made the decision yourself, your daddy would have skinned you if you hadn’t gone up to the all-girls academy. He held a prestigious office, he often reminded you, and you were just another merit on his record. You needed uphold his reputation as if it were your own.
Mia snorted dryly and offered you the joint again. Her face dropped as an arm reached around you, her reddened eyes glossy as the dwindling smoke was taken from her. You turned and backed away as the sheriff waved the joint in front of him and sniffed the air.
“I knew I smelled contraband,” his jaw ticked and his brow lifted as he eyed the three of you, “and you,” he pointed at you, “of all the girls in town, it had to be you?”
You looked at Darla and Mia as they blinked at the cop. Lee Boedecker was known for his cruel-streak and no-nonsense tolerance. You knew him as the pudgy, old man who tried to buy you a drink as you still wore your graduation cap. You remembered that day and the odd episode, how he scowled and stomped away, shaking your father’s hand on the way out of the diner.
“All this shit you’re bringin’ down from the city, huh?” he flicked the joint to the ground and blotted it out with his sole.
“N-no, I--” you looked back and forth between Mia and Darla.
“You two,” he pointed at them, “you go on.”
“What?” Mia quivered, “but--”
“You let me deal with her,” he waved her off as he gripped his gun belt, “just lookin’ out for the mayor’s daughter.”
The other girls peeked at you and slowly backed away. You watched them fearfully and as they disappeared around the front of the building, you turned back to the sheriff. He tutted as he shook his head and came closer.
“Won’t that be a scene? Tellin’ your daddy what I found you doin’,” he snickered.
“I… I wasn’t, I only--”
“I don’t care what you was only doin’,” he snorted, “I don’t… have to tell him but you’re gonna have to convince me not to.”
You blinked at him and frowned. You weren’t sure of his meaning and you surely didn’t want to find out. You backed away and he caught your arm.
“Now where’d you get that stuff?” he looked down at the crushed joint.
“It’s not mine,” you quavered, “I swear--”
“No?” he swung you against the wall and knocked the air out of you, “you sure you don’t know, now?”
You shook your head fearfully. You wouldn’t say it Darla who rolled it and lit it but you weren’t going to sell yourself down the river either. He slammed his hand above your shoulder and rested his other on his pistol as he loomed over you.
“Which one was it then? Pretty little college girl…” he purred, “a good girl, tell me which one of ‘em had it.”
You shook your head and pressed yourself to the wall, “I don’t know. Please, sheriff--”
“Please, sheriff,” he unholstered his gun and raised the muzzle. He steadied it against your chin and pushed your head up, “it was just a drink, sweetheart.”
“Sheriff, I--”
“You think you too good for me ‘cause your daddy,” he dragged the gun down your chest and along your stomach, “‘cause he sendin’ you away to read books?”
“No, no, what are you--”
He shushed you as he pushed the gun lower and hooked it under your skirt. He shoved his hand under your skirt and poked your vee with the metal nosebarrel
“I’d hate to ruin ya like that,” he sneered, “but I s’pose up at that fancy college, you got some good use.”
You shook your head and trembled as tears pricked and your nose tingled. He chuckled and leaned in to kiss your forehead. He wiggled the pistol between your thighs.
“No? You think your little act works on me?”
“I-- sheriff, please, I never--”
“Hmmm,” he hummed and inhaled the scent of your hair, “you ain’t no good girl.”
You sniffed as the tears rolled down your cheeks, your heart beating wildly as you waited for him to pull the trigger. He prodded more firmly and lowered his voice.
“How about I drive you back to your daddy’s and discuss this with him?”
Your eyes rounded as his blue ones caught them with a vicious gleam. You sobbed and shivered.
“If-- If you gotta--”
“Come on,” he pulled his gun away and yanked you off the wall.
He marched you down the alley and pushed you into his cruiser. He slammed the door and dropped into the front seat. He leaned to one side as he holstered his gun and clapped his hand over the wheel. He looked at you in the mirror.
“You sure you don’t wanna tell me the truth?” he asked.
“I did--”
“No,” he interrupted you, “you shut up if you ain’t gonna tell me straight.”
He started the car and rolled down the street. You shrunk into the seat afraid that someone might spot you through the window. He steered through the town and headed up the hill to your daddy’s house. You watched the trees around you as his thick breaths were laced with heated mutters.
He pulled off halfway up and idled between a pair of elms, “you can still keep my mouth shut, sweetheart.” You blinked at the mirror and he turned and stretched his arm over the back of the seat. He grinned at you and licked his lips. “What d’ya think your daddy will do?”
You hung your head. Your daddy would be so mad he’d lock you up for the rest of the summer, or worse, pull out his old switch. Your lip quivered and you sniffed as you wiped your cheeks with your cuffs.
“You want me to tell him?” Lee asked.
You peered up through your lashes at him and shook your head. He nodded and killed the engine. The car jolted as he got out and slammed his door. He opened the back and bent to look in on your with his hand on the roof.
“Right then, on your back,” he ordered.
“What--”
“If you don’t want me to tell him, you gotta keep me quiet, now lay down, sweetheart,” he reached to his belt and unbuckled it with one hand, “it’ll be quick, promise, then you can go back to bein’ a good girl.”
“Sheriff,” you kicked yourself across the seat and lunged for the other door.
He caught your ankle and dragged you back. He flipped you onto your back and crawled over you, his weight suffocating as he posted his knees between your legs.
“That’s the thing, you can keep me quiet or I can make you scream and tell your daddy anyway,” he warned as he fought with your flailing hands, “it all goes the same way, got it?”
You stilled and stared up at him. It was as if he’d slapped you. Your eyes overflowed and he brought his hand up to trace the streaks with his thumb.
“You’re so sweet,” he ran his hand down to your dress and groped your through the fabric, “mmm, so sweet.”
You tensed as he pushed his hand between your bodies and lifted himself as he pressed his fingers to your cunt. He tugged your skirt up impatiently and rubbed along the front of your underwear. You turned your head and swallowed a sob.
“I woulda been nice, taken you out proper,” he pushed his fingers under the cotton and you gasped as he caressed your folds, “you coulda been a sheriff’s wife, you coulda made your daddy proud.”
He poked his fingers inside you so roughly you whimpered. He pulled them in and out even as your body resisted. He sank to his knuckles and squeezed until you cried out.
“Now you can take my bastard home to him,” he snarled and tore his hand out of your knickers.
He unzipped his pants and wriggled as he shimmied them down. Still trapped beneath his weight, you stared at the back of the leather seat as your tears hovered on your lashes. He grunted as he ripped your panties down to your knees. He stretched the cotton between your legs as he bent them and rested on the fabric.
Bent beneath him, you closed your eyes as he felt around your cunt. He pushed his knees against your ass and lined up with your entrance. You clenched as he prodded and struggled to get his tip inside of you. He swore and leaned heavily on the elbow planted beside your head.
“Now, don’t make this harder than--” He bucked into you so hard you hollered. He smothered it with his hand and held himself deep inside of you, “you weren’t lyin’ about the boys, were you?”
You squeezed your eyes tight and he wiggled until you squirmed. He pulled back and rammed back into you roughly, groaning as he did. He waited and did it again, each thrust reverberated up your spine.
“You think your father would still love you if he knew?” he rasped, “huh, what you think everyone will say? That whore went up to the city and got a child on her.”
“P-p-please,” you whispered as you pushed on his chest, “it… hurts.”
“Oh, it gon’ hurt, sweetheart,” he growled, “but it didn’t have to.” He hissed as he kept his hips moving, “you made it this way.”
“I can’t-- don’t-- I can’t have a ba--”
“You gonna have my baby,” he sneered and hooked his arm under you, “you gonna carry me with you the rest of your life,” the car shook with his movement, “it was only a drink, sweetheart… one drink.”
👮👮👮
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robininthelabyrinth · 3 years
Note
Sufficiently strong emotionally-charged moments of physical contact can occasionally forge long-term telepathic bonds between cultivators. These bonds are usually based on positive emotions like familial or romantic love, or deep feelings of friendship, but the emotions don’t necessarily have to be positive to forge a bond. Wei Wuxian is very upset to find out that punching Jin Zixuan in the face apparently counts as a sufficiently strong emotionally-charged moment of physical contact.
on ao3
Wei Wuxian had been obsessed with the idea of a resonant bond ever since he first learned about it.
Sure, it was a rarity. It was easier for a cultivator to find a friend, a lover, or even a soulmate than it was for them to create a resonant bond, which required not merely liking or understanding or even love but rather a single moment in time in which two cultivators were on exactly the same wavelength.
Their cultivation strength, their frame of mind, the state of their bodies, the exact way in which they touched – in that one moment, everything would be exactly the same, and the Heavens would forget for that brief moment to see the two as separate, like two separate raindrops merging into one before the moment passed, some difference introduced, and they were broken apart into separate beings again. Yet even after they separated, they would irrevocably retain some aspects of the other, a connection that generally manifested, it was said, as a mental bond that could not be broken, a tie that would keep them bound together no matter the distance.
Such a thing could not be worked towards, only hoped for; it was a matter of luck.
Wei Wuxian had never wanted anything more in his life.
The thought of never being alone again – it enticed him, it excited him. Jiang Cheng could wrinkle his nose in distaste at the idea that he might not be alone in his mind anymore, that someone would see all the stupid or terrible things he sometimes thought, but to Wei Wuxian that was the best part: that someone would see you and know you and you would see and know them, too. To have someone to accompany you through the best and worst moments of your life, always at your side…
To never fear abandonment, to never need to worry about someone going out only for a little and then never coming back.
It would be amazing.
That was what Wei Wuxian thought.
Well, that was what he thought right up until he punched Jin Zixuan in the face for insulting his shijie, his whole heart burning at the unfairness of adults who didn’t understand, at other boys who didn’t appreciate what they had, at everything all around them and at his own weakness in not being able to do more, and something just –
Clicked.
-
“Hey, wake up! Wake up! Are you all right?”
Wei Wuxian opened his eyes, only to be assaulted with what felt like double vision. Above him were Jiang Cheng and Nie Huaisang, hovering and looking anxious, and from the corner of his eye he could see Lan Wangji, who he so enjoyed teasing, was sweeping over to them with a grim expression – and yet at the same time he thought he could perceive different faces above him as well.
Three young men and two women, all looking down at him with smiles like sharks, ready to devour. Each one of them draped in the gold they lusted to take from his hands –
What the fuck? Wei Wuxian thought groggily. How did I end up on the ground?
Good question. I didn’t think I got punched that hard.
Wait, Wei Wuxian thought. Hold up, I got punched? I didn’t even see the peacock lift his fists!
…Wei Wuxian? Is that – you?
Wei Wuxian’s eyes went wide when he realized he hadn’t said any of that out loud, that to judge from Jiang Cheng and Nie Huaisang’s chatter they hadn’t heard either him nor the other voice. Which meant that the voice had to be...in his head. Is this – this is a resonant bond. We formed a resonant bond!
Shit, Jin Zixuan thought, because it was Jin Zixuan, wasn’t it? Shit, shit, shit. Please don’t say anything about this to anyone!
What? Why?
Please!
Wei Wuxian hadn’t even known that the peacock knew that word.
Fine, he said, feeling generous on account of the whole bond business. I won’t tell. For now.
“Wei-xiong?” Nie Huaisang asked, looking worriedly fretful. “Are you all right? You haven’t said anything.”
“I’m fine,” he said, rubbing his head and trying to think of a lie to explain why he fell over like that. “I think the peacock must’ve had a talisman or a defensive weapon or something. Whatever it is, I’m fine now.”
“Good. I’m glad you’re all right,” Jiang Cheng said, looking deeply relieved. And then, a moment later – “Because I’m going to kill you - !”
There wasn’t too much time to talk after that. Wei Wuxian was sentenced to kneeling, and then his Uncle Jiang arrived and Sect Leader Jin arrived – oh no, oh no, oh no, I fucked up, Jin Zixuan thought hopelessly, and Wei Wuxian couldn’t help but feel a bit of the same – and the next thing Wei Wuxian knew, the engagement between Jin Zixuan and Jiang Yanli was broken and he was being sent to pack up his things, to be taken home at once.
Jin Zixuan was swept away by his father, too.
“A pity about the engagement,” Sect Leader Jin remarked idly as they walked together. “Perhaps you shouldn’t have said such a thing. Your mother will be disappointed.”
Wei Wuxian could feel the way that that jabbed at Jin Zixuan’s heart like a stab with a sword.
“Still, it’s no harm,” the man continued, indifferently ignoring the impact his words had had on his son. “One could even call it a gain! You won’t be burdened down with that shrew’s daughter anymore.”
That what?!
Tune out of this conversation, please, Jin Zixuan said, his thoughts dull and sluggish and resigned. It’s going to get worse from here on out.
It did.
Sect Leader Jin commented at some great length about his views on Madame Yu’s many faults – her temper, her strength, her nosiness, her thought that she was worth anything other than a pair of legs and an inheritance – and contrasted it with some salacious comments on her positive traits – mostly the legs, with a few comments on the upper half as well – and then he started speculating about Jiang Yanli, too, in a way that made Wei Wuxian’s blood boil.
It’s not about her, Jin Zixuan told him, his voice a little desperate in a familiar way – he was used to having to defend his father, and just as obviously didn’t want to. He’s building up a defense.
What?
For my mother. She’ll be angry at him for agreeing to break the engagement, so he’ll say that it was my idea, say all this stuff, and then she’ll be angry at me for believing it, instead, even though I don’t. This isn’t what I wanted at all.
Wei Wuxian frowned. You wanted to marry my shijie? You sure didn’t show it!
No, I just didn’t want to marry anybody, Jin Zixuan said, and…okay, fine, that was a pretty respectable position. Wei Wuxian didn’t particularly want to marry anyone yet, either. I just got angry when everyone was talking about how it was a done deal, that’s all. Just one more thing that got picked for me.
Wei Wuxian had heard Jiang Cheng complain about similar enough things – how much of his life was selected in advance, how much was organized for the benefit of his sect rather than his own interests, how little choice he got. How even if he’d been as good as Wei Wuxian, or even better, he still wouldn’t have been able to go out and hunt pheasants all day the way Wei Wuxian did.
He refused to feel sympathy. Well, you shouldn’t have taken it out on my shijie!
Probably not. Jin Zixuan was silent for a moment. It probably doesn’t help, but I’m sorry for my rudeness.
Wei Wuxian hated it when people were reasonable. It made it so much harder to stay angry at them.
Are you going to tell me why I can’t tell people about this bond yet? he asked. You’d better have a good reason, I had to put up with an entire scolding from Jiang Cheng because I didn’t have a good excuse!
Later tonight. I promise.
That night, Wei Wuxian excused himself early and hid himself in his room on the boat. He knew that he was giving both Uncle Jiang and Jiang Cheng the impression that he was feeling deeply guilty about having broken the engagement, thereby making them feel bad about it, which he didn’t intend, but he really wanted to hear the reason. If it wasn’t good enough, he’d really break Jin Zixuan’s nose this time!
It really is a good reason!
Well, then? If it’s so good, don’t keep me in suspense!
Jin Zixuan sighed. Wei Wuxian felt it like an exhalation on his cheek, as if Jin Zixuan were right there beside him. You know how a resonant bond is supposed to be equal?
What do you mean ‘supposed to be’? Wei Wuxian asked, and felt something cold in his belly.
There are forbidden techniques, ancient ones, that are designed to manipulate a resonant bond into an unequal state. To make one side the master and the other the slave.
That’s disgusting!
If we told anyone, my father would find a way to get one, Jin Zixuan said, and he wasn’t guessing. His voice was utterly certain. There’s very little money can’t buy, and he wouldn’t be able to resist the idea of having a spy in the very heart of the Jiang clan.
Well, then just don’t tell him!
Just like I didn’t tell him about what I said about your shijie?
Wei Wuxian got tripped up by that. It was true, Jin Zixuan hadn’t said a word about what had happened, and yet his father had already known every last detail. How..?
One of my ‘friends’ told him, of course. Probably more than one, actually – I wouldn’t be surprised if they all passed it along. It’s what he pays them for.
He pays for your friends to spy on you?!
I already told you that there’s little money can’t buy. Why not friends?
I wouldn’t be friends with people who accepted money to spy on me. Why do you?
If it’s not this set, it’ll be another, and it’s all the same. If they won’t be bought, then I can’t be friends with them…anyway, I’ve gotten used to these ones.
All of them? Wei Wuxian asked. Even Mianmian? She didn’t seem the type…
Her name is Luo Qingyang, and yes. Her parents are sick and my father’s paying for the treatment; if she doesn’t tell him everything, he’ll cut off funds…she told me about it, though. Said that if there was ever a time that I wanted her to ‘forget’ to report something, she could do that. That’s more than most would do, and probably about as much as anyone can expect –
Have you ever had a friend that wasn’t bought? Wei Wuxian asked. I mean…ever?
Jin Zixuan was silent.
Well, that wouldn’t do.
Well, I guess you have me now, Wei Wuxian thought, with only a tiny amount of self-pity for the stupidity of agreeing to be friends with Jin Zixuan. Still, if he’d survived his efforts at being Lan Wangji’s friend, he could survive anything. No one’s going to buy me!
But –
Nope! No take-backs! We have a resonant bond, peacock. You think I’m going to waste a gift from the Heavens like this just because it’s with you? You’ve got another thing coming!
…can you at least stop calling me a peacock?!
-
Madame Yu made her displeasure clear enough when Wei Wuxian returned, ordering him to kneel all night and do every available chore and things like that, but Wei Wuxian didn’t take it to heart – he never did, really.
Like Jiang Cheng, Madame Yu’s bark was worse than her bite: for all that she hissed and spat and punished him with kneeling or holding up weights, she’d never denied him resources, kept him back from training, or even denied him the spot of head disciple to promote another less qualified in his place, which she very well might have if she were a bit pettier.
So he didn’t take it personally, even if Jin Zixuan seemed indignant on his behalf – you were defending her daughter! You’d think she’d give you some leeway for that, at least! – and at any rate it was better than Jin Zixuan’s slow meandering way home, with his father disappearing every night into a brothel or the bedroom of some innkeeper’s daughter or something like that.
It was better than Jin Zixuan’s mother’s reaction, too, which was to scream and shout and say vicious nasty things, to smash plates and vases against the walls right over his head, and then to pull him into her arms and make him promise over and over again that he would never betray her.
I think I suffered more in terms of physical exertion, but you get full points for all the emotional devastation, Wei Wuxian said after Jin Zixuan returned to hide in his bedroom. Does she do that a lot?
All the time, Jin Zixuan said. All the fucking time.
After a moment, he added, guiltily, It’s only that she loves me –
Ugh, don’t even start with that, Wei Wuxian said. Complaining about awful parent-related trauma is boring, I get enough of it from Jiang Cheng. Help me figure out what I should do tomorrow: flying kites, swimming, or hunting pheasants? Oh, or fishing!
…seriously? Do you spend any time cultivating?
Oh, come on. It’s my first day back!
That just means you have more you need to catch up on!
-
Your shijie is really nice.
I told you!
You didn’t! You just hit me!
-
Wei Wuxian loved having a resonant bond.
Sure, it wasn’t with someone useful like Jiang Cheng or even wonderful like Lan Wangji – I can hear you, you know – but it was kind of nice to have someone to complain to when it would be awkward to put it onto Jiang Cheng or Jiang Yanli.
The other half being Jin Zixuan was also not as bad as he had first thought it would be. Sure, he was just as spoiled, arrogant, vain, and deeply cynical about human nature as Wei Wuxian had thought – I can still hear you! – but he was also an awkward introvert with no social skills and an over-active guilt complex – fuck you too, Wei Wuxian – and, in the sum total of things, surprisingly tolerable. Thanks? I think?
It’d certainly made the indoctrination camp more tolerable, even if it did mean having two people talking in his ear about how he needed to think more about the consequences of his actions and how it might reflect on his sect, and certainly having Jin Zixuan confirming that the other disciples had made it out of the cave and were moving at full speed to try to get help made the days he was waiting with Lan Wangji a lot less stressful, and their ensuing rescue a lot easier.
But sometimes –
This is a terrible idea! You can’t do it!
You don’t get a say! Wei Wuxian snarled. This is my decision.
Fuck you, Jin Zixuan said. A moment later, quieter: Is this because I couldn’t make it to you in time to help?
Wei Wuxian swallowed, feeling his eyes burn. The Wen attack was a surprise to everyone, he said. Even if you were able to convince your father to let you go help with everyone you had, it wouldn’t – you wouldn’t have made it in time to do anything.
After his father had refused, Jin Zixuan had snuck out of Jinlin Tower through what he’d thought was a secret passage and tried to go anyway, only to be caught and dragged back. Wei Wuxian appreciated the effort, even if it didn’t make a difference in the end.
When they were on the run from the Wen sect, after, Jin Zixuan had encouraged Wei Wuxian to head to Lanling, swearing that he wouldn’t allow anyone to turn them over to the Wen sect, but they hadn’t gotten that far.
And now…
It’s my choice, Wei Wuxian said. You don’t get a say.
Fuck you, Jin Zixuan said again, but his voice was softer. Fine. But I’m here for you.
Wei Wuxian smiled, just a little bit, and told to Wen Qing to start.
-
I’m going to murder my father, Jin Zixuan said, conversationally. And then go to the hell reserved for patricides and be reborn as a chicken right before slaughter.
For shame, Wei Wuxian said. Not even a lamb or a goat?
No, I want to be able to bite someone and mean it, and chickens are better at that than goats.
Wei Wuxian giggled, a little hysterically. It’s fine, he said, looking around the Burial Mounds. It’s fine that he won’t let you come to my rescue immediately. Not like I’m going anywhere.
He’d thought – they’d both thought – that the resonant bond would break or maybe transfer to Jiang Cheng along with Wei Wuxian’s golden core, but it hadn’t.
Wei Wuxian had been depressingly grateful for it, for the by now familiar Lanling cadence of Jin Zixuan in his head. It made the horrible quiet empty of the Burial Mounds a little more tolerable, a little less awful.
Anyway, he said briskly, shaking off his terror at being here alone but for the voice in his head. I have an idea…
-
I feel like if I knew Chifeng-zun looked like that I would’ve made befriending Nie Huaisang more of a priority when I was younger.
I know, right? Wei Wuxian thought back. Just…wow.
A moment later, he added, a little irritably, I thought you were into my shijie again?
I am! I’m allowed to have eyes, okay?
Not if you’re surnamed Jin you aren’t.
Fuck you.
Nope. And Chifeng-zun isn’t going to, either.
He could feel Jin Zixuan rolling his eyes. I don’t even want him to, I was really just looking. Anyway, how’s Lan Wangji doing?
Lan Zhan? He’s – well, he’s always bothering me about going back to Gusu with him, talking about how my demonic cultivation is dangerous to me, but oh, you should have seen him when he joins us to fight..! You can forgive anything, really, just to watch him move – Wei Wuxian paused. Wait, why are you asking?
No reason.
Jin Zixuan! You tell me this instant -
-
Jin Zixuan was locking Wei Wuxian out of his head again.
It was a technique they’d worked on developing together – with some assistance from Wei Wuxian’s brilliance and Jin Zixuan’s ability to find and purchase extremely rare reference texts, whether on resonant bonds or just more generally, including when Wei Wuxian had needed some help figuring out some things about demonic cultivation while trapped on the Burial Mounds – as it had become moderately urgent following Jin Zixuan’s first spring dream involving Jiang Yanli, and even more so once he’d decided that he really did want to marry her, actually, if she’d be willing to have him.
There were some things Wei Wuxian did not need to know about his shijie.
Still, it was unusual for him to block him during the day. One might even call it suspicious.
I’m sorry, Jin Zixuan said abruptly. It had to be done, and you weren’t going to do it.
Huh? What are you talking about…?
“Wei Wuxian!” Jiang Cheng shouted, and Wei Wuxian turned, surprised. His shidi’s eyes were red as if he’d been crying, and he ran up and pulled him into his arms. “Wei Wuxian…!”
“What?” he asked, puzzled. “What’s this about…?”
“How could you?!” Jiang Cheng demanded, weeping into his neck. “You should have told me – you had no right to – to give me – Wei Wuxian!”
Wei Wuxian’s back went stiff. You didn’t!
It was the truth or you getting kicked out of your sect! He needed to know!
Fuck you! It wasn’t your choice to make!
I’m not going to stand by and let you get schemed against, Jin Zixuan said. Certainly not by my own father. I won’t!
I’m going to make you pay for this, Wei Wuxian said darkly, then looked down at Jiang Cheng in his arms. And possibly thank you for it. But I’m definitely going to make you pay!
-
This may sound weird, Jin Zixuan said. But I think I’m being poisoned.
Based on what I know about Lanling Jin sect and its politics, it’s not weird at all, Wei Wuxian said instinctively, then frowned. Are you serious? It’s not just baby fatigue or something?
That’s what I thought at first, too. But now I’m not so sure. He was silent for a moment. I don’t want to sound like my mother, but…
You think it’s Lianfeng-zun? I’m not saying he doesn’t have the most motive for it, but do you really think..? He seems so nice.
He is, most of the time. Jin Zixuan sighed. Maybe I really am just tired.
Wei Wuxian didn’t think so. He’d had a half-dozen years of listening to the backstabbing, vicious world of Jinlin Tower under his belt by now – had fought bitterly in the war only to fight even more bitterly for something like the right to attend his own shijie’s wedding, something that ought to have been his by right – had nearly suffered an ambush when he tried to attend Jin Ling’s first month party, with Jin Zixun attacking him and Wen Ning going unexpectedly crazy and Jin Zixuan rushing over as fast as he could to make them all stop. If he hadn’t already known about Jin Zixuan not knowing about this, if he hadn’t felt something go wrong and thrown himself in between them without thinking, Jin Zixuan might’ve died there and then on the Qiongqi path.
If Jin Zixuan thought he was being poisoned, he was probably being poisoned.
I’ll come visit you and look into it, Wei Wuxian said. We can pretend that I’m there to visit shijie.
They’d long ago confessed the truth to Jiang Cheng and Jiang Yanli, of course. For some reason, neither had looked all that surprised.
With your reputation, even if you figured something out, who’d believe you? Jin Zixuan asked. Ask Hanguang-jun if he’ll come, his reputation will bear up.
Lan Zhan? Sure! I’m always happy to work with him. But you know, he’s been ignoring me recently…I don’t know why…
Tell him about the resonant bond.
What? I thought we were still keeping it a secret.
Tell him. He doesn’t tell anyone anything.
Good point, I guess. You think that’ll help him stop ignoring me?
Yes.
Wei Wuxian generally trusted Jin Zixuan’s reading of people, now that he was mature enough not to let his personal feelings cloud his judgment. All right, I will. Can you tell me why?
You’ll find out when you tell him.
Unhelpful.
Noted and ignored.
Fuck you.
Yeah, you too. See you soon.
-
Jin Zixuan?
Yeah?
Thank you for my love life, but also, FUCK YOU.
526 notes · View notes
rapsgoddess · 3 years
Text
Washing Machine Heart Part 1. (Erik Killmonger x OC)
This is unedited so please have mercy on me in the notes 😭
Nahla knew she didn’t mean a thing to him. Next to being a mercenary, Erik was a player. He came and went as he pleased, spent his nights with more than one woman, and didn’t feel a single shred of regret whenever his girls would pour out their hearts to him. 
Nahla knew she didn’t mean a single thing to him, yet she still somehow fell in love. 
It was a painful realization. One that she came to during one of Erik’s many long term absences. It was another sleepless night for her and she was sitting in bed with her laptop open to her right and her keyboard directly in front of her. For the past week, the same melody had been on loop inside her head. A broken tune that conveyed so much sorrow that it nearly brought her to tears whenever she hummed it. Each day after she got home from work, she would add onto the melody bit by bit, putting in different instruments and sounds to create a beautiful symphony. 
When it came time to write lyrics for the song, all she could envision was a tune about unrequited love. The same unrequited love that she had been feeling for a while. 
It wasn’t until she put a name to that feeling when she finally realized how she truly felt about Erik. 
She decided to try and keep things suppressed for a while, hoping that her childish feelings of romance would disappear after a few days. 
They didn’t. 
When Erik returned a few weeks later, she didn’t, know how to act. The man made it known that he was not committed to anybody, and Nahla was no exception. On the rare occasion Nahla would catch a glimpse of him on social media, she would see him surrounded by women who looked as if they could be models. Women who were leagues ahead of her. The photos never failed to resurrect her insecurities. They made her question why Erik even bothered to give her the time of day. Yet those insecurities melted away whenever he came to visit her. 
Flash forward to the present, and Nahla found herself laying next to Erik’s naked frame in her bed. The faint sound of her washing machine echoed throughout the house, giving a sort of rhythmic banging as her shoes tussled around inside. The night was still fairly young, having only been a few minutes past seven, but all of the plans that Nahla had for that evening were discarded the moment Erik showed up on her doorstep. 
It didn’t take much for his words to lull her into bed and for his lips on hers to enrapture her. His low, smooth voice was like music to her ears, and her moans being music to his. Each praise that left his lips was like a toxic lullaby. Nahla knew that he had repeated the same words to dozens of women in the past, yet in the moment, they made her feel as if she were the only woman in the world. 
“You feel so good around me baby…”
“You don’t know how much I missed this pussy.”
“Say my name so everybody know who’s fuckin’ you right.” 
Thinking back to his words sent shivers down her spine. She was wide awake, restless and too excited to fall asleep. It was rare for Erik to stay after having sex, let alone fall asleep before her, but her inner turmoil prevented her from falling asleep. 
She turned back to look over at Erik, taking in every aspect of his being as if it were the last time she would see him again. No matter how many times she laid eyes on him, she would never be able to find the words to describe how beautiful he was. He had a smile that could light up a room and warm eyes that made her heart flutter each time she looked into them. It often left her wondering why exactly he even entertained the thought of her when he was way out of her league. 
A heavy sigh left Nahla’s lips and she threw the covers off the lower half of her body. She looked back at Erik one last time while putting on her robe, making sure that he stayed asleep. Slowly and quietly, she crept out of the room and down the hall to her makeshift studio, closing the door behind her and turning on the lights. She used her studio as an escape from both the real world and her own mind, and right then she needed an escape from both. Turning on her equipment and opening up her laptop, she opened up the file that held her latest project. The one that helped her come to her realization in the first place. She made sure the speakers were low as to not wake Erik up and pressed play, listening to her voice blend with the gentle melody. 
She had only written a few lines so far and could feel the next verse just on the tip of her tongue, but lyricism had never really been her strong suit. Muttering random words under her breath, she opened up the notes section on GarageBand and began writing down whatever sounded nice, replacing and adding words where she deemed fit. 
“Might as well give it a go,” she sighed, getting up from her chair and walking over to the small corner where her mic and the rest of her recording equipment was set up. She pressed record on an empty track and began singing the second verse, her voice coming out soft and almost broken in contrast to her usual strong, belty tone. She was tired, both physically and emotionally, but she couldn’t walk back to that room. Not with him still laying asleep in her bed as if the two of them were a couple. 
After a few more takes, she had finally gotten her voice warmed up enough to where it didn’t sound completely like shit and she walked over to her work station to edit the track on top the music. 
With her mind now completely engulfed in her music, she didn’t noticed the sound of her toilet flushing or her bathroom sink running down the hall. She didn’t notice the sound of footsteps leading to her studio and her door opening slightly. 
It wasn’t until the feeling of a hand snaking its way around her neck drew her from her work as she jumped in her seat while clutching her chest in panic.
“Whatchu scared for? It’s just me,” Erik muttered, his voice still laced with drowsiness. “What are you doing up? Any other day you’d be knocked out.” His fingers gently squeezed at her neck and he leaned down to plant a kiss on the top of her head. It was weirdly intimate of him.
“I couldn’t sleep so I decided to work on something.” Nahla spun her seat around to face him. He had on a pair of low hanging shorts. She recognized them as being one of the pairs she bought for him whenever he decided to stay over. She mentally scoffed at the thought; buying clothes for a man who she wasn’t even in a relationship with. 
“You’re not leaving?” She asked. It had just dawned on her that, miraculously, Erik was still there. 
“Nah. I haven’t seen you in a while so I figured I’d stay for a little bit.” 
The sentiment made her heart flutter but she quickly grounded herself back to reality. She couldn’t afford to get her hopes up. 
“So, what are you working on?” He asked, his arms folded across his chest as he looked past her and at the open editing software on her computer. 
“Oh. Well I had a melody that was stuck in my head for a while so I put it down and write lyrics. I lowkey wanna find a mini orchestra to record it though.” 
“Well can I hear it?” He suggested. 
Nahla’s eyes widened and her heart skipped a beat. Despite knowing each other for the better part of two years now, this was the most he had ever expressed genuine interest in her music. 
“U-Uhh, I’m not sure… I get really sensitive about my stuff. Plus it’s not what you’d expect it to be,” she said, swirling her chair back around to face her work station as she hesitantly placed her hand on the mouse  and moved the cursor over the “play” button. After taking a deep breath, she played the song and closed her eyes as she waited for it to be over. Throughout the entirety of what little she had to play, Erik was silent, giving no response, comment, or critiques. When it was over, she reluctantly turned around to face him. 
“So? What do you think?”
“Yeah, I can definitely hear an orchestra going behind that. Maybe start off with piano first, then bring in strings or some shit during the hook,” he suggested, walking over to the other chair in the corner of her studio and sitting down. 
“Okay. Thanks.”
For about an hour or two, the two of them stayed up in her studio talking about random things while sharing a blunt together. They eventually migrated back to the bedroom and made their way beneath the covers together, Nahla’s body molding perfectly into Erik’s as they cuddled. 
“Nah, I’m deadass. I thought I had locked his cage, but he always finds a way to get out,” Nahla giggled, referring to her pet chameleon who always managed to get out of his cage. “I remember a few day ago I had just woken up and went into the kitchen to get some juice and I see him inside the sink just sitting there. Then he have the nerve to look up at me like ‘what are you doing here?’ No sir, what are you doing here.” 
Erik laughed softly while shaking his head. “Nah, I don’t think I could handle an animal just freely roaming my shit like that.”
“You get used to it after a while. I was low-key thinking about getting a snake too, but I gotta figure out where to put the tank.”
“Oh hell nah. If you get a snake, I’m not coming by anymore.”
“What?! You used to be a whole Navy Seal and you’re scared of snakes, E?” She asked, a bit surprised that he even shared that information with her. 
“Girl, I don’t know how you can even stand them things,” he mumbled, “slithering around and shit. What if it gets out when you’re sleep and starts choking you?”
“Then we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it,” she giggled, earning an eye roll from Erik. 
Though it didn’t seem possible, she pressed herself against Erik even harder, somehow managing to get even closer to him. Resting her head in the crook of his neck, she had a perfect view of the many scars and keloids that littered his body. She could tell some of them are new. Whether or not they were accidental or self inflicted, she didn’t want to know. 
It was times like these where Nahla wished that her outlandish fantasies of romance weren’t fantasies at all. Having never been in a real relationship before, she constantly longed to be loved by someone in a romantic sense. Though she knew that Erik probably never thought of her as more than a fuck buddy, it was nice to feel his warmth underneath her. Even if it was an illusion, it was nice to imagine him as her lover while he was holding her close. 
“What’s on your mind?” He pried, letting out a deep sigh before closing his eyes and relaxing his muscles. 
“Where do you go when you disappear?” She partially lied. Even though that wasn’t what truly was on her mind, it was still a question that lingered over her head for a while. 
“That, I can’t tell you ma. At least not right now.” 
She wasn’t satisfied with how curt his reply was. Sitting up, she supported her head with her hand, her elbow buried into the pillow beside his head as she peered down at him. 
“You can tell me,” she pried. A childish grin spread across her face. “If it’s something illegal I promise I won’t tell.”
Erik peaked one up up at her, a smile of his own taking over his featured. He pushed his hands behind his head and stared up at the ceiling. “Mm… Maybe I could tell you a little bit. I don’t even know where to begin though without you thinkin’ I’m crazy.”
“I won’t think you’re crazy.”
“You say that now.” There was a pregnant pause, and then, in the most serious tone ever, he said, “I’m apart of African royalty.”
“So there’s this country in Africa called Wakanda. At first glance, it seems like a small lil third world country, but in reality, they’re the most advanced civilization on the planet. They got this metal called Vibranium that allows them to all sorts of things, but they keep it hidden from the rest of the world.”
“How? And if they kept it hidden from the world, then how do you know about it?”
“They have a dome that surrounds the entire country. It’s practically impenetrable. And the only reason I know is because my father was the prince. He was sent here on an undercover mission in America but quickly saw how shitty thing were here, so he wanted to change it. “
“Wait, your father is the prince of an African country?” Nahla couldn’t believe her ears. Despite being secretive and mysterious, she knew that Erik wasn’t one to lie. After all, what could he possibly gain from lying about something as far fetched as this?  
“Was. He was killed before he could enact any change; by his own brother no less.”
She could hear a pain and vulnerability in his voice that she’d never heard before. Now she definitely knew that he wasn’t lying. 
Erik’s face had turned to the side in a fruitless attempt to hide the tears that welled up in his eyes. He’d never brought up his family or much of his life before he met her in a conversation, and now she could see why. 
Hesitantly, Nahla reached up to wipe away the tears that left his eyes. “So you plan on going back and getting revenge?” She pondered. It would make sense why he’d want to stay under the radar,  having no social media accounts, no permanent phone number, and constantly disappearing for months at a time. If he wanted to infiltrate an entire hidden country, then he’d have to be the closest thing to a ghost a person could be. 
“It’s on the list,” he replied, sitting up in bed while resting back against the headboard. “But, my main goal is to change the world. Wakanda has technology and weapons that people can’t even begin fathom. If our people were able to get their hands on that kind of fire power, we wouldn’t have to worry about the White man oppressing us any longer.” 
The sadness that was once present in his eyes had long disappeared, instead being replaced with a burning passion. It filled her with joy to see him get passionate about something, but it also put her on edge. Nahla knew what his plan implied, and she didn’t put it past him to sacrifice countless lives in order to see his vision come to life.
Staying silent, she simply nodded, too afraid that she’d say the wrong thing if she opened her mouth. Tearing her gaze away from the man, she began contemplating on everything she had been thinking about prior to his arrival. Her feelings for him were still unwavering, but now she was starting to ponder on whether or not being with him was a wise decision. It didn’t take being a genius to know that Erik’s path was a set one. He was a determined, goal-driven man, and when his mind was made up, there was no convincing him to go back on his decision. 
If she followed him down that path, she wouldn’t be able to turn back. 
“Do I scare you?” 
Nahla looked back up only to be met with obsidian eyes boring straight into her deep brown ones. His question threw her for a loop, no doubt, considering how Erik was never one to be considerate of other people’s feelings. 
“H-Huh? What do you mean?” She knew exactly what he meant. 
“That look in your eyes… You’re scared of something. What is it?” He demanded in an eerily calm manner. 
Attempting to spare his feelings would be a futile decision; Erik read people like his favorite novel. Yet, for some reason, Nahla had no control over the words that left her mouth. 
She almost never did when she was around him. 
“Nothing. I just get a bit spooked in the dark,” she chuckled. 
Erik simply blinked at her, a look of uncertainty and doubt dancing around in his eye before he shrugged it off and laid back down in the bed, facing her completely. 
“You should get some rest. Goodnight,” he said softly, his eyes never leaving her. 
Upon hearing his words, Nahla felt an immense tiredness wash over her as if he casted a sleeping spell over her. She glanced over at the clock and noticed how it was nearly 4 AM. She had only three hours before she needed to get up and get ready for work. 
She was tired, but fear kept plaguing her mind. A fear that he wouldn’t be there when she woke up. Or, even worse, a fear that she had dreamt the entire night. 
“Don’t worry. I’ll be here when you wake up,” he whispered. 
Nahla wanted to believe him, so she did, closing her eyes and drifting off to sleep. 
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Text
Presents
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Summary: it’s the day after Christmas and you still needed to give Chris his present.
Pairing: husband!Chris Evans x Black!Wife!Reader
Warnings: smut, anal, blowjob, squirting, doggy style, Daddy kink, swearing
(A/N: so... yeah. Idk what made me want to write anal, but... it happened. I’m so weird about anal personally, but the idea was hot so. Sue me. Anyway I have not edited this thing in the slightest. Reblog always 💜 ✌🏾)
Tagging: @titty-teetee @blackmissfrizzle @olyvoyl @liquorlaughslove @harrysthiccthighss @mariahthelioness29 @whiskey-cokenfanfic @olyvoyl @hqneyyincc @queenoftheworldisdead @iam-laiya @donutloverxo @slytherinandoutasgard @zaddychris @brattycherubwrites @love-more122
——————————————————————————
You had been struggling to figure out what to get Chris for Christmas. He’d spent so much time taking care of you and buying you anything you could ask for. So you wanted to give him something back. Except what do you give a man that has almost everything.
You felt a little bad about having to give him his present so late. Christmas Eve had been so busy. You’d had to wrap presents and prepare dinner because as your first year as his wife you wanted to host. Which meant on Christmas Day the two of you were too busy and then too exhausted for you to give it then, too. So it was the day after Christmas and you were finally giving him his gift.
You.
It was a little self centered sure. Giving your husband you for Christmas, but there was something you’d never given him that he desperately wanted. He’d been such a good boy that you finally decided to give him the gift he’d been wanting.
You pranced down the stairs in the little red number you’d purchased. The pair of red bottom heels he’d gifted you for your birthday on your feet. He was more focused on whatever show he was watching. Didn’t even notice you until you came up behind him to start kissing along his neck.
“Mmm, someone’s a li-“ he was saying until he turned his head to see what you were wearing. You bit your lip as he looked you up and down. “Fuck.”
“Merry Christmas, Daddy,” you cooed. As you kissed his cheek before moving to his neck. He seemed at a loss for words as you went around to the other side of face him so you could straddle his lap putting your Loboutain clad feet on either side of his legs.
His jaw was still dropped as his eyes trailed to your clevage. His hands went to your ass, squeezing at your flesh. “Damn,” he said.
“Like it?” You asked as your lips went to his neck.
“Oh I love it. You naughty little slut,” he said, smacking your ass.
You giggled, but kept kissing along his skin up to his earlobe that you nibbled into making him groan. Your fingers played with the hem of his shirt. You moved your hips, grinding into him. “If you’re good maybe you can make it on my naughty list.”
You got down on your knees. “Fuck you’re gonna be the death of me,” he said with a groan. You placed your chin on his thigh. He rubbed your cheek with his thumb. “You gonna suck my dick?”
You nodded with a pout trying to make your eyes look all big and innocent. Even though deep down you just wanted him to stuff your mouth with his cock. “Please, Daddy,” you begged with your mouth wide open.
He groaned softly because fuck was this a sight to behold. He pushed his sweats down his thighs and as soon as his dick came into view, it was like you’d lost your mind. It wasn’t very different than what you usually did. You liked when he used you as his own personal sex toy. That’s kind of what was going to happen right now.
You started licking the underside of his dick. Using the tip of your tongue to lick over his slit. “Oh, fuck,” he groaned. He was staring down at you working his dick. Going to his balls so you could show them attention to.
You loved having your mouth on him. It didn’t matter if it was his lips, his cock, or his fingers, or even when you’d bite his arm as he fucked you from behind while you were flat on your stomach. So as you let him fuck your mouth you were pretty much in heaven. Moaning around him as you sucked and slurped.
He watched as you made a mess on his dick. Your spit coating his cock as you tasted his pre-cum. As good as it felt he didn’t want to cum yet, so he pulled you off because he wanted to fuck you properly.
He took his sweats off fully before picking you up to throw you over his shoulder. He smacked your ass then started jerking himself off as he walked upstairs. You knew you were in it for it and you were so giddy just thinking about it.
You bounced as he threw you on the bed. He took off his shirt and your mouth watered from seeing your man naked. You’d never get sick of seeing him like this.
He climbed on the bed, bringing his lips to yours. You kissed back with fervor taking his cock into your hand so you could start stroking him. Damn he was so thick your hand felt so little against him
“You gonna be my slut tonight?” He asked, slipping his fingers into the crotch of your outfit. “Let me fuck you however I want?”
“Uh huh,” you breathed.
“No, no, little bitch. Use your words. Tell me you want to be Daddy’s cockwhore.”
You bit your lip at his words. “I wanna be Daddy’s cockwhore.”
He groaned at the words this time because he really could have cum just from hearing you say that. “Such a nasty girl for me.” He started fingering your pussy. Kissing you again as he spread you right open. “Gonna be my bitch tonight, huh,” he said getting ready to fuck into you.
“Yes, Daddy. I’m always your bitch. My pussy needs you so bad.” You mewled.
“Got dressed up so cute for me,” he curled his fingers so they’d hit your spot. Then he took them out showing them to you all nice and wet from how he stuffed your pussy before pushing them into your mouth so you could lick them clean. “Good girl. Good fucking girl.” He flipped you over so he could smack your ass. That’s when he noticed it. “Wait.” He pushed the crotch to the side seeing the cute jeweled plug in your ass. “Fuck.”
“Merry Christmas, Daddy.” You giggled.
“You sure, Baby?” He asked, rubbing the globe of your ass.
You moaned, nodding your head. “Yes, Daddy. I know it’s a little late, but I want to give you my ass for Christmas.”
He groaned. “Fuck,” he repeated, licking his lips, pushing his fingers back inside your wet cunt. You cried out trying to move back against him. Not being able to wait anymore he pushed inside of you.
Your seat of your panties hugged your ass as he pushed in and out of you from behind. He couldn’t stop himself as he rammed into you. You two had pretty rough sex and yet he couldn’t remember a time where he was going this hard.
He grabbed one of your arms, twisting it behind your back so he could fuck into you even harder. Making your ass bounce back against him. Your eyes were watering. Pussy wrapped tight around his dick as it clenched around him. His cock was invading your cunt in a way you almost couldn’t believe.
He started rubbing your clit from behind. Trying to help you along to your first orgasm and it worked so well because fuck you came so hard. It didn’t stop him except he moved from your clit to the plug in your ass. “F- fuck,” you stuttered out from the force as he pulled it out, only to push it back in again.
Your eyes rolled into the back of your head as you moaned out for him. Taking him so deep you felt it at the top of your stomach. You weren’t sure if maybe your gift was making him want to put a baby in you, but fuck it felt like it.
At the same time it felt like he was fucking you like he hated you. Like you weren’t his wife. Like you were just some girl he needed to get out of his system. Like he may never get this chance again. Like you were someone he shouldn’t have been fucking. Someone he could degrade.
“Oh, Daddy. You fuck me so good,” you whimpered. He grabbed you by your neck to pull you up so he could moan in your ear. His other hand went back to your clit. He switched up his pace now fucking you with faster but more lingering thrusts. Like he’d move his hips all quick to thrust in, then pull out slowly.
He bit at your ear while you fondled your tits. All the sensations you were feeling at once was starting to get to you. You’d already felt so full from the plug.
Your orgasm was intense. A tingling in your stomach spreading through your body. He kept going for a few more thrusts before laying you down on the bed. He pulled out of you to start kissing down your body.
He flipped you over after getting on the bed. He kissed your lips all sweetly. Making you suddenly remember that you were his wife and not his whore. He nuzzled your nose with his. “Where’s your toy?”
You licked your lips trying to gather your thought. It was like he’d fucked you so hard you didn’t have any. “In there,” you said motioning with your head to the nightstand. He kissed your forehead before leaning over to grab it.
He placed it beside you before leaning down to kiss you again. “You sure? There’s no turning back.”
“Yes, Daddy.” You took a deep breath.
You took off your little outfit so he could have better access to you. He’d started prepping you pulling your plug in and out of you to make sure you were perfectly stretched. Then squirted the lube he’d also gotten out of your drawers onto the little hole. You were determined to take it. Wanting to give your man something you’d previously told him was off limits.
When he first started to push into you, he eased in. Your legs spread wide open as he still had you on your back. He leaned over you so he could kiss you again. “How you feeling, Honey?” He asked as he finally managed to get his cock inside of you.
You nodded, biting your lip as you looked up at him. He rocked his hips trying to get you used to it. You started rubbing your clit because even though he was stuffed in your poor swollen pussy was begging for attention.
Chris looked down at you, groaning. He wished he could take a picture. Of you playing with your puffy pussy while he fucked your tight ass. “See I knew you’d like it.”
You nodded because he was hitting this really yummy spot inside of you. You could feel yourself getting close again. Chris was smiling down at you as he watched you take him. Fuck you were such a good little slut.
“Sluts like you always love having all your holes owned.” He moved your hand so that he could start rubbing your clit instead.
“You’re gonna make me...” your eyes rolled to the back of your head as you came, juices squirting up. He doesn’t know how he held on after seeing that, but he kept fucking you. Then grabbed your toy to switch it on.
You screamed as he pressed it to your clit. It was on the highest setting and you weren’t sure if you could hold on. It quickly brought you to another orgasm. This one more dramatic, but fuck it felt so good. “Who owns your ass, Baby?”
“You do,” you whined. “It’s yours, Daddy.”
He pulled out so he could flip you onto your stomach. Wanting to make you cum one more time. You went back to rubbing your clit as he worked you from behind.
He smacked your ass while you cried into your pillow. Your body feeling like it was close to giving out. Feeling like he’d fucked you so good and stupid that all you could think about was letting him do what he wants to you.
“I’m gonna cum in you,” he groaned. “Want me to cum in your right little asshole.”
“Yes,” you cried into your pillow.
“You gonna let me fuck your ass whenever I want.”
You nodded. “Fuck, yes.”
“I might not even use your pussy anymore after this. You gonna be my little anal slut if I tell you?”
“I am, Daddy,” you cried. “I am your anal slut.”
“Good fucking girl,” he groaned not being able to stop as he finally came inside of you. You followed quickly. This orgasm a little less intense after those first ones, but it still felt so good.
Chris cleaned everything up before climbing into bed with you. He rubbed your ass, trying soothe any soreness you might have. You curled into him wanting to be as close as you could be.
“Did you like it?” You asked him.
“You kidding me? I’m more in love with you than I was on our wedding night.” He chuckled, kissing your forehead.
You chuckled then hissed because your stomach felt like it was now aching too much from that. “Merry Christmas,” you yawned.
“Merry Christmas.” He sighed with this dopey smile on his face.
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cocoswriting · 3 years
Note
lee wilbur, ler techno? maybe smth where wilbur’s being chaotic so techno takes him down a peg? you dont have to tho— /gen
Chaotic Mf
Summary; Basically what the ask says; Wilbur was being chaotic/creepy and needed to be taken down a peg. [PLATONIC. DO NOT TAG AS SHIP.]
Warning(s); This is a tickle fic! If you don’t like that kind of stuff, then I recommend you just scroll past.
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“You put ecosystems in jars?..”
“Yeah,” Wilbur responded casually, laying upside-down on the couch opposite Techno. He had his legs curled over the back of the couch and his head was dangling off the edge—it was a wonder how he hadn’t gotten uncomfortable enough to shift positions yet. Wilbur seemed to have a strange habit of never sitting correctly when he was in one of his “chaotic” moods, always finding some weird way to rest instead. “I go out and collect mud, rocks, soil, and I put them inside the jar.” he explained, and Techno scrunched up his face both in confusion and mild disgust.
“And... this is a normal thing?” Techno asked disbelievingly, flipping a page in the book he had in his hands, though it wasn’t as if he was paying much attention to the text anymore. Wilbur nodded happily from across the room, grinning as he opened his mouth to continue explaining, only to get cut off by Techno. “Wil, I don’t really care. I’m tryn’ to read right now.”
Wilbur huffed and crossed his arms over his chest, pouting in fake dismay and staring at Techno almost expectantly, even though the piglin was very clearly no longer looking at him. “Well, you should care,” the brunet replied with a sassy tone of voice, sounding akin to an annoyed child. “I swear I’m not the only one who does this! Ranboo does it too, or at least he did...”
“Ranboo did that—?... No, Wilbur, really, just talk about literally anythin’ else. I do not care about your jar ecosystems,” Techno was already used to dealing with Wilbur’s chaotic moods. They’d come in at random times, last a couple hours, and then eventually he’d lose all the excess energy he had and go back to “normal.” So it wasn’t as if he actually expected Wil to stop when he was told to—Techno knew he wouldn’t—but he figured he might as well try to change the topic that Wilbur would ramble on about. Honestly, Techno just wanted to read his book. “Can’t you bother someone else? It isn’t that late, Phil and Tommy are still up.”
Wilbur let out a loud, dramatic sigh followed by a shake of his head and a couple tutting sounds. “You’re no fun,” his tone was playful, indicative of the grin that was on his face, despite his words suggesting otherwise. “But fine! I’ll talk about something else.” Wilbur rolled himself over on the couch, sitting upright and then standing up to make his way over to the man sitting across from him. Techno tore his eyes away from the book and glanced up when he realised Wilbur had approached, raising an eyebrow and glaring half-heartedly at the musician.
“What?” Techno’s voice sounded tired, more tired than usual, but bore no real malice as he impatiently awaited Wilbur’s response.
“Have you ever seen Doctor Who?”
“Oh my god,” Techno looked down and rubbed his temples, dropping the book beside him and running one of his hands through his hair, groaning loudly. He heard Wilbur’s shrill laugh at his reaction, which was shortly followed by the sound of shuffling as he sat down next to the piglin and crossed his legs, seemingly prepping himself to start telling whatever story he wanted to tell Techno about. “Please.”
“I already told Phil about this one,” Wilbur began, biting back another laugh at Techno’s long sigh which came straight after. “So, there are these things called ‘weeping angels—!” Wil was quickly cut off by a rough jab to his side. He managed to force back any verbal reactions he might have given to the sudden electric tingly feeling that spread all throughout his side, but he couldn’t conceal the very obvious flinch and curling of his lips.
“You good?” Techno asked, having removed his hands from his face to shoot his brother a concerned glance. Wilbur felt heat rush to his face, but he couldn’t tell whether he’d paled, or gone red. “Did you...” He shifted closer to the brunet, cocking his head to one side. “You flinched,” The elder stated quite obviously, expression a mixture of curiosity and interest.
“You caught me off-guard,” Wilbur quickly stammered out, a sheepish half-smile spreading over his face. Techno frowned—and it was clear from just that gesture that he wasn’t buying it.
Techno placed one hand on his side and left it there, unmoving. Wilbur didn’t flinch that time, but he wanted to, his flustered state having raised his hypersensitivity to the point where he wanted to squirm even just imagining that Techno might find out. “I was just tryin’ to shut you up, you needa’ tell me what happened or I’ll assume that you’re hurt,” Techno said, beginning to slowly rub two(2) fingers in small circles on Wilbur’s side. The last part of his sentence came off as more of a threat to his brother—he didn’t want to worry Techno, but at the same time, getting found out like this would be so embarrassing.
“I-I’m not—“ Wilbur was cut off by a quiet gasp, but not quiet enough for Techno to let slip. One of Techno’s ears twitched at the sound and he made a gruff huffing noise, now reaching down to tug up the hem of his brother’s sweater, exposing the bottom half of his side. “Hey, I’m not hurt, okAY—!” Techno, being the oblivious bastard he was, began to rub gentle circles on Wilbur’s bare side, which elicited a comical noise sounding like a mix between a squeal and a yelp from the man. As Wil managed to squirm away from the tingles, butterflies erupted in his belly when he thought; there’s no getting out of this now.
Silence filled the room for a couple seconds, the gears turning in Techno’s head before it finally clicked, and he couldn’t help the smug expression that formed on his face when he realised what Wilbur had been trying to hide. “You’re ticklish,” he emphasised the ‘T-word’, causing Wilbur’s face to heat up even more, and the fact that Techno’s hand still remained hovering just ever-so-slightly above his side, was not helping. “How come I didn’t know this before? You keepin’ secrets from me, hm?” Techno shoved both of his hands up Wilbur’s shirt and gently ran his nails up and down his skin, eliciting a few snickers along with squeaks and he tried to muffle his giggles.
Wilbur frantically shook his head ‘no’ and looked down, his hair falling in front of his face and (thankfully) hiding his bright pink cheeks. Tingles and shockwaves of tickly sensations shot up his sides, the feeling only increasing the longer Techno’s fingers lingered in the same spot. “Well— you’re definitely much quieter now,” Techno remarked, and Wilbur opened his mouth to give a sassy response, only for a loud squeak to come out instead as the gliding nails began to gently scratch at each side of his back. He arched forward but shifted backwards, resting his back against the armrest and laying down. Wil had hoped this would quell the sensations at least a little, but it only made them worse, the little scratches becoming rougher as Techno’s fingers got trapped. “This seems like a good way to take you down a peg whenever you’re in one of your ‘chaotic’ moods.”
“N-no—hohahahaa!” As Techno moved his hands up to Wilbur’s ribs, he couldn’t hold it back anymore. High-pitched giggles flooded from Wilbur’s lips as he wriggled and squirmed, throwing his head back as his hands switched between trying to protect the targeted spots and trying to push Techno away. It wasn’t exactly working out for him, and eventually he just curled up, hoping to drown out the tickles somehow. It only got worse once he felt Techno begin to drill his thumbs into the spaces between each of the bones. “NOHO! DOHohon’t dohoho thahahat, plehehehahase!”
As Techno gazed down at the giggling boy, he’d be lying if he said his heart didn’t melt at the sight of his bright, carefree smile. “Why not?~” His tone of voice was still deadpan, but it had a sing-songy edge to it this time. If Wilbur had the guts to muster up insults at the time, he would’ve called him every name in the book just as revenge for the horrible teases. “Does it tickle too much? Surely you can’t be that ticklish, right?~” Every time the T-word was mentioned Wilbur felt the pit in his stomach fill with more butterflies, and his blush began to slowly spread out to his neck and ears. “It’s your own fault for bein’ annoyin’.”
“Ihihihi wahahasn’t beheheing ahahannoying!” Wilbur insisted, his giggles slowly increasing as Techno’s fingers danced their way up his ribs, heading for his armpits. But before they could reach the spot, he instinctively slammed his arms down to protect himself, blocking the offending hands just in time. It seemed that Techno took this defensive action as provoking, because his immediate response to that was to sigh disappointedly and start skittering around Wil’s neck and shoulders, causing him to scrunch up like a turtle and begin to wriggle side-to-side in a weak attempt at escaping the tickles. “Nohohoho! Fuhuhuahahack ohohoff— yohohou’re sohoho mehehehehahan!”
“Mean? This isn’t mean,” Wilbur could hardly make out Techno’s words anymore, considering he was much more focused on the shocks of tickles and his own embarrassment. But once he heard those words leave his brother’s lips, he couldn’t help but start squirming even harder on top of squeezing his eyes shut. He couldn’t process what the words meant in his state—but he’s heard that tone before. And that tone means ‘you fucked up’. “You wanna see mean?” Techno asked rhetorically and Wilbur began frantically shaking his head, letting out giggly little “nononono”s as he tensed, prepping himself for the inevitable attack that would come next.
“AAAHAA!” Wilbur shrieked as he felt Techno’s lips make contact with his tummy, quickly followed by an explosion of tickles as he blew a raspberry, shaking his head during it to make it even worse. Wil bucked, cackled and squealed, only for his hips to get held down and mercilessly drilled into by two(2) of Techno’s fingers. All of his nerves felt like they were on fire, and he felt everything—every last pinch to his hips, every raspberry that was blown, and it was almost too much for him to handle. But he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t loving it. “NAHAHAHAAA! TEHEHEHAHAHAHA—!”
Even after Techno ceased the raspberries, he still seemed fully intent on being as merciless as possible. He continued to drill right into the dip of Wilbur’s hipbone, using his other hand to rapidly squeeze his tummy, never letting up and never slowing down. Wilbur had completely given up on trying to fight back, his arms were too tired for that now and he knew it was no use, so instead he began using his hands to cover his bright pink face with. “Oh, poor Wilbur,” Techno began, a very obviously feigned sympathetic tone in his voice. “Being tickled is just such a hard job.”
“SHUHUAHAHAT UHUHUHUP!” Wilbur forced out through his hysterics, helplessly rolling his torso back and forth, attempting to focus his attention on literally anything else other than the tickles he was receiving. He couldn’t decide if he loved or hated it—it was unbearable and maddening, he felt like he was being driven up a wall, but at the same time he had to admit that he was having fun. He was soaking up all the attention like a sponge. It didn’t take much longer before his laughter became wheezy and strained, though, and he’d decided he had enough. “O-OHOHOKAHAY! STOHOHAHAHAHAP, THAHAHAHAT’S ENOHOHOHOUGH—!”
Techno listened straight away, ceasing the tickles and backing away as Wilbur curled in on himself, hugging his midsection while trying to rid of the after-tingles that still remained. “You alright?.. was it too much?” Techno asked, reaching over to deliver a couple, comforting pats to Wilbur’s head. He would’ve leaned away if it weren’t for how exhausted he was from all his laughter. “...sorry,”
“N-noho, noho... it,” Wilbur knew he should be careful with his choice of words there. He didn’t want to give away how much he’d actually enjoyed himself, but at the same time, he was well aware he’d likely given that fact away while being tickled. He supposed there was no point in lying—especially if it would risk making Techno worry over nothing. “...wahas nice.”
There was no response for a couple seconds, but then the silence was interrupted by a snort coming from Techno, and Wilbur instantly knew what he would have found amusing. But as Techno gently ran his fingers through his hair, practically soothing Wilbur to sleep, he found he didn’t care as much as he did before.
They should do this again sometime.
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