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hunnylagoon · 4 months

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Right Where You Left Me

Pt 3: Being So Normal

Ellie Williams x Reader

Horror pushes tears from my eyes as I uncover the corpses of your past relationships. Each of them dead and lifeless as the next. Because that is what you do, you ruin what is good and it makes me miss you less and less as everyday goes by.

Premise: You and Ellie were childhood friends until you drifted apart. Funny thing about soulmates is that they tend to find their way back to each other. On this night some questionable choices lead you to a vulnerable state where you run out of options.

Warnings: Angst / reader has religious issues / drinking / smoking / drugs

Part one here!

Part two here!

Part three here!

ELLIE

It wasn't as fun as I thought to watch you fall apart.

The morning after Christmas you left before I even woke, your makeshift bed made. You gathered all of the boxes of shit I collected off your dad's lawn and took off, leaving behind nothing more than a letter thanking my dad for his hospitality.

When I came back to Northridge a week later it was like I was looking at a new person.

Everything that had happened was swept under the rug, you lied and told the girls that you had a great Christmas. You started picking up overtime shifts, you were out more than you were at home.

I watch you stumble through the doors at five AM, makeup smeared, hair a mess and the fakest smile I have ever borne witness to, plastered across your face. You worked the closing shift almost every night and would go partying afterwards with your shitty co-workers who enabled this type of ruination.

I saw your stories too, shot after shot, In every single picture you nurse a drink in your hand or a cigarette wedged between your fingers. When did you even start smoking?

Abby and Cat didn't know just had bad you were but Dina was catching on. I remember how she would go out with you at the beginning, in her mind it had just been harmless fun until it was a nightly occurrence she started to get concerned.

It's like you've euthanized the person you used to be.

You can't even stand to be in a quiet room so you will it with nonsense conversation, hardly even words and laugh at your own jokes.

You used to glow. Back in middle school, you glowed like a candle that smelled of pumpkins and lattes, your love felt like sinking into a warm bath, comfort and security. In high school you glowed like the moon, no one could pry their wondering eyes away from your nerve-wracking beauty, gentle and empathetic.

Though now you do not glow, you burn. You burn like the end of a cigarette, the bud fluttering to the ground just to be crushed by the heel of muddy Converse. The spark of a lighter to ignite your stale menthol cigarette, slipped from bony fingers like clumsy matchsticks to the wilderness, to set what once was beautiful aflame.

Fire is only beautiful while it burns, I knew that soon you would smother yourself out to ashes.

I've been nourishing my withering body with 50-cent packets of ramen noodles.

I know that I'm not well, in fact, I think I've fallen off the rails.

When was the last time I got a full night of sleep? I'm not sure.

My days and nights bleed together and I can hardly differentiate the two. I hate everyone but I'm so starved for love I am searching everywhere for it, I look for it in dingy clubs and roadkill off the side of a highway, the bottom of a solo cup and the arms of one-night stands, I have even learned to lick it off silver knives. They have taken the rosery from my hand and replaced it with hard liquor.

I went out last night to forget like I do every single night. I look to the moon and pretend it is its being with thoughts and feelings, I act like I talk to it and it has said that it shines just for me.

Tonight, I will go out again. I smear glitter over my eyelids and slip into a silver sequin dress that doesn't even fall past my fingertips. I force my scabbed and bleeding feet into white stilettos that are sure to damage them even further. When I look in the mirror I feel a new sense of bitterness, like nicotine on the tip of my tongue, my face is thinning and my eyes are sunken in, dark bags hanging below the dull irisis. I cover it in concealer and bronze my face to help me look some sort of alive.

"Where are you going?" Dina asks me as I walk from my room and towards the front door, she has a tote bag packed up, her car keys in hand.

"The Monarch," I answer, it was a club on the main street, it tended to be the busiest also infamous for sketchy activity. My eyebrows furrow as I look at the tote bag in hand "Where are you going?"

"I'm going to Jesse's for the night, " She says, tonight her hair is loose and falling over her shoulders "Are you sure you wanna go out tonight?"

I nod, suddenly feeling vulnerable in my choice of clothing "Yeah," Sensing her judgement, I'm already getting defensive "I'm in college, all I do and go to work and school-

"Who's fault is that?" Dina cuts me off and my words fail me, I don't know what to say. She looks at me with disappointment glinting in her dark eyes.

My phone dings and I check the notification "My ride is here."

"Don't stay out too late."

"I won't," We both know that I am lying.

I have been many things over the years, a pirate, a cowboy, a warrior; over the past five months alone I have been a lonely girl and a saint, now I am a drunk who drowns out her worries in vodka and overly sweet cocktails.

"To being young, dumb, and broke!" Kayla raises her shot, and the rest of the group does the same. The small glasses clink together, and some of the vodka spills before we all swallow them back and slam them back onto the bar.

The central focal point was the expansive dance floor, alive with bodies moving in rhythmic unison. Multicoloured strobe lights cut through the haze, creating an otherworldly atmosphere.

The bar, a gleaming expanse of polished metal, beckoned with the promise of libations. Bartenders, clad in stylish attire, skillfully craft cocktails. The mirrored backdrop reflected the kaleidoscope of lights and the animated conversations that unfolded in this hub of social convergence.

Overhead, suspended fixtures resembling metallic sculptures add to the overstimulation.

"Welcome back," The bartender, Mitch, smiles at me, I know him by name now that I've been bouncing around from club to club almost every night. "Long Island ice tea?" He asks, to which I respond with a nod. He's memorized my drink too.

Kayla is beside me while the others have dispersed to dance or converse, she sips a dirty martini. Her beautiful copper hair is styled into loose curls, she is clad in all black, a tube top, a mini skirt and tall boots as well as a slightly oversized leather jacket thrown overtop. She looks like the definition of a cool girl.

Everyone liked her.

"So how are things with the roommates?" She asks me, her green eyes piercing mine, she has a slight smile on her perfect lips.

"It's fine," I lied, again. I knew Dina was getting tired of taking care of me when I was too drunk to make my own way home, all of the girls that Ellie brought over hated me. I haven't been seeing much of Abby but Cat and I were actually good.

I can tell that Kayla doubts my words but she carries on to another topic "Are you ready to get fucked up tonight?"

"Yes, ma'am," I giggle. Around the curved bar, I see a woman, she's in a red top and black jeans, her hair in a mousy brown shag cut. Obviously, she caught my eye. "Do you think she's gay?"

Kayla discreetly turns to look at the woman, she turns back to me grinning "No shit."

The woman catches me staring at her and smiles at me, of course, she has perfectly straight white teeth and a pretty smile. I sheepishly smile back "Hey, Mitch?" I wait for the bartender to give me his attention "Two shots of Everclear?"

That's how the majority of my night plays out; I dance for a minute, swaying to- not really swaying, I was dancing in a way that became a hazard to those around me then return to the bar to down more drinks.

"Hey," I hear a voice beside me, it isn't one I recognize, and when I face it, I feel my heartbeat pick up. It was the woman I had been eyeing, now that she's this close I can see the freckles scattered on her face. "Do you wanna dance?"

I can't help when my face splits into a smile, "For sure," I slip off the barstool and follow her onto the dancefloor, the lights are orange and hazy or maybe the haziness is caused by my drunken state. The woman says something to me but it's drowned out by the overwhelmingly loud music "What?"

"I'm Karris," She repeats, smiling down at me.

"Cool!" I say. I followed Karris' lead with the dancing, she had a certain confidence in her.

I swayed with each ungraceful movement. Karris, the opposite of me is attuned to the music, moved with a confident fluidity that balanced out my careless stumbles. She laughs at my dancing "Here, I'll help you out." She shouts, trying to be heard over the Rhianna song blasting in my ears.

She comes up behind me, snaking her hands down my torso until they find a resting spot on my hips. With a firm grip, she slows me down, and now I'm moving with her, as one.

My sequin dress shimmered with every twist and move, like a mirrorball, I too might hang. As the light shifts I could've sworn I saw Ellie in the face of Karris.

I felt the liquor hit me all at once and my body became loose, melting into Karris, I'm almost limp against her touch. She's in front of me now and my arms are hooked around her neck while her slim hands lay on her midriff.

Her eyebrows furrow as she says something to me but once again it it lost in all of the noise, I just laugh, pretending like I heard what she was saying and hoping that it wasn't something about her dog dying.

The pop song changes into some song in French, I can't make out the words. Wait, I aced every French test in high school, I step away from Karris, squinting my eyes as I stand still in the middle of the dancefloor trying to process the lyrics.

Je veux te voir- I need you, no, that doesn't sound right. I want to see you, that's it.

je veux t'avoir- I want to hold you.

I want to hold you? Is that it? When did my French get so rough? I can't even think straight.

I swear on every god I was so drunk that I forgot I was in the middle of a dancefloor, it had slipped from my mind that I was dancing with someone, and all I could think about was my French classes from high school.

Age fifteen - Grade 10

The French lesson seemed to be even more boring than usual that day. Monsieur Cargin was babbling on and on about how there could be a room full of women but if there was one male rat you would refer to them using ils instead of elles. It was the same lesson I had learned every single year in French.

It took Monsieur Cargin thirty minutes to announce the project. "Pour ce devoir, vous écrirez une lettre à un camarade de classe sur vous-même, vous pourrez inclure des informations sur votre famille, vos passe-temps, vos sujets préférés et peut-être un bon souvenir. Si vous êtes ami avec votre partenaire, vous pouvez écrire avec lui sur quelque chose que vous attendez avec impatience. La lettre fera au minimum un paragraphe, je viserais plus haut si vous voulez une bonne note." Easy enough, a letter to a classmate about your self. "Avant de demander, vous pouvez choisir vos propres partenaires."

I look right over to Ellie from across the room after he mentions choosing our own partners, she doesn't meet my gaze though, she looks as lost as ever, rifling through some papers in her binder and I'm not even sure she understood a word of what the teacher said.

Monsieur Cargin lets us begin our project, everyone gets up from their seat to search for a partner; Ellie, seeing that everyone is standing up, gets up as well. I wave her down to my desk, she crouches beside it and asks "What the fuck are we supposed to be doing?"

I explain the project to her while she hangs off my desk and nods at everything I'm saying, giving me her full attention "Do you get it now?"

"Yes."

The next day we finished writing the letters and had to give them to each other before we turned it in, I gave Ellie my letter first.

Ellie,

Je suis heureux que nous soyons amis, non seulement parce que nos parents nous ont forcés à l'être, mais parce que tu es mon âme sœur dans chaque vie. J'aimerais te parler de moi, mais tu me connais déjà mieux que moi-même, alors je vais juste dire certaines choses que je sais sur toi. Vous avez lu chaque couverture de la bande dessinée Savage Starlight, plus d'une fois. Je sais que vous aimez faire du shopping dans la section hommes des magasins parce que vous pensez que c'est plus confortable même si vous finissez par ressembler à Adam Sandler. Vous détestez les mathématiques même si vous êtes vraiment bon dans ce domaine et vous aimez l'anglais même si vous détestez les études romanesques. Vous parlez à toute vitesse parce que vous avez tellement de choses à dire et pas assez de temps pour le dire, vous chantez comme une église avec une chorale et chaque fois que je vous vois entrer dans une pièce, je ne peux m'empêcher de sourire. J'ai hâte d'entrer à l'université, nous pouvons être colocataires et décorer la maison exactement comme nous le voulons, merci de toujours me supporter.

(Translation)

Ellie,

I'm glad that we're friends, not just because our parents forced us to be but because you are my soulmate in every single life. I would like to tell you about me, but you already know me better than I know myself so instead I will just say some things I know about you. You have read every Savage Starlight comic cover to cover, more than once. I know that you like to shop in the men's section at stores because you think it's more comfortable even if you end up looking like Adam Sandler. You hate math even though you are really good at it and you love English even though you hate novel studies. You talk at a mile a minute because you have so much to say and not enough time to say it, you sing like a church with a choir in it and every time I see you walk into a room I can't help but smile. I can't wait for college, we can be roommates and decorate the house exactly how we want it, thank you for always putting up with me.

I bent the rubric a little bit, talking about Ellie rather than myself but we were really getting graded on our French comprehension, not the subject matter of the letter. Ellie read it through, over and over, nodding her head along and pretending that it made perfect sense but I can tell by the way she squints her eyes and furrows her eyebrows that it doesn't make sense. She hand hers to me next, pride clear across her face.

Ton père est toujours en colère et je pense que c'est pour ça que nous sommes mariés. J'apprécie quand tu dors dans ma chambre et que nous nous battons avec des pistolets à eau. Mon film préféré à regarder est Star Wars, mais j'apprécie aussi Hunger Games parce que vous en êtes témoin. J'attends avec impatience une soirée cinéma ce vendredi avec vous. Tu es très cool, merci d'être mon ami.

(Translation)

Your dad is always mad and I think that is why we are married. I enjoy when you sleep at my room and we fight with guns of water. My favourite movie to watch is Star Wars but I also enjoy Hunger games because you witness it. I look forward to night movie this Friday because with you. You are very cool, thank for being my friend.

I can't help but giggle when I read it over, this causes panic in Ellie "Why are you laughing, what's wrong with it?"

"I love you but you are definitely failing."

I quickly helped her rewrite it before we turned it in, and she ended up getting a B with my revisions.

"Are you okay?" I hear Karris, she looks a little on edge, probably because I went nonverbal and froze for a solid minute or two.

"She's fine," Kayla puts her hands on either of my arms which are currently plastered to my side "I'm just gonna snag her for a minute if you don't mind." Kayla didn't wait for a response she was already dragging me away, guiding me through the sea of people and into the bathroom.

I always hated the bathroom here. The walls were black tile with white grout and there was graffiti all over the stalls and ceiling, apparently, it added to the effect, I just thought it was fugly; not to mention how dimly lit it was, there were red LED strips behind the mirrors but that was about the only light source. If you were trying to fix your eyeliner, you

"What is going on with you?" Kayla leans against the counter with the sinks, I'm right in front of her with my arms crossed.

"Nothing-

"I just saw you glitch in real life," She raises her eyebrows "You literally froze, I thought you were having a stroke."

I wipe some sweat off my brow "My head hurts," I mutter, I've already had too much to drink and we really hadn't been there that long. My thoughts didn't seem to process. Now keep in mind that I was so insanely plastered that night that I don't remember everything verbatim, I had to take others' words for what happened.

"Do you want an aspirin?" Kayla asks to which I nod and she begins digging through her purse, she pulls out a little bottle and I hear the rattling of pills. It's so dark that I can only make out the vague shape of the bottle. She places a little pill into my hand and gives me a half-drunk bottle of Fiji water in my free hand.

I don't need the water though, I dry swallow it.

She tucks the bottle back into her purse and feels something, I see her eyes go wide and that alone begins to stress me out. "What?" I ask, with no answer. She dumps her purse onto the counter behind her and turns on her phone flash to look at each item, she snatches a bottle of Tylenol and takes the cap off just for her hand to fly over her mouth. "Is something wrong?"

"I didn't give you aspirin," She's fighting back laughter but her dainty features are etched with concern.

"So?" I say, "It's just Tylenol, it won't kill me," My speech is slurred from the alcohol in my system.

"Honey, it's not Tylenol," She lowers her hand from her mouth, pressing her lips together tight. "It's MDMA."

"What?"

"Ecstasy," She corrects herself, making it easier for me to understand.

"WHAT?" My eyes go wide and my jaw drops "WHAT?" I repeat, running over to one of the nasty graffiti-covered stalls and kneeling in front of it, sticking my fingers down my throat to try and throw up to get it out of my system before it sets in. "Say something gross to make me throw up!"

"Uhh," Kayla stood behind me "Think of your dad getting off with your grandma!"

"EW!" I shout, turning to look at her with disgust on my face. "Why would you say that?"

"You told me to say something gross!"

"Not that!" I cry, slouching against the stall. I wish I had a time machine, I wouldn't just go back four hours, I would go back four years and make sure I play everything right. Maybe then I wouldn't be drunk and high in the bathroom of a dingy nightclub and I would still have Ellie.

"It's okay, honey, It's clean," Kayla walks closer to me, the heels of her boots clacking on the tile "I promise," She offers me a little rub on the shoulder "I promise I'll take good care of you tonight and make sure you're safe."

She was lying through her teeth, and just an hour later I was face down on the bar, lulling in and out of consciousness. That is the exact moment I started to think it wasn't clean like Kayla had said. My high didn't feel like what I was told rolling was like.

At first, I felt fine and then everything started to feel off. You know when you spin around a bunch super fast and your world spins under your feet? It was like that.

Before I retired to the bar, I tried to get back on the dancefloor just for my body to betray me and collapse onto the ground, people around me had stopped to watch me stagger back onto my feet and wordlessly stumble away.

After I lift my head off the spruce bartop and don't see Kayla anywhere in sight for the seventh time, I reach for my phone that I had stuffed into my bra and dial up Dina.

I hear the hum of the tone before it clicks and I hear her static voice on the other end. "Hello?" Her voice crackles.

"Dina, I'm on drugs."

"What?" I hear some shuffling in the background then what sounds like the click of a door "What drugs? are you okay?"

"I don't know," My voice drags out "Kayla took it out of her purse, said it was MMA and I'm not-" I hiccup "I'm not doing well."

"What the hell is MMA? Isn't that mixed martial arts?"

"Dina, I'm not doing martial arts, I'm doing drugs."

She sighs and I can feel her disappointment through the phone "Are you still at Monarch?"

"Yes."

"Hang on," Something shifts in the background.

"I'm kind of scared."

"Please just stay where you are-

"I love you, Dina."

"I lo- CLICK

My phone dies, and the screen turns black. I click some buttons for a moment to ensure that it's dead before I tuck it back into my bra and let myself lull back onto the bar, I rest my head on my arms and look at the displays of liquor surrounding me.

I lose track of the time that passes, in my head I am just about the win the 72nd Hunger Games, it's down to me and another tribute. There's an intense fight, I wind up underneath her and she presses a blade to my throat, I get a good look at her face and see Ellie but her face doesn't stay the same. It morphs through every version of her I had ever known. When we were seven, her grunge phase, when she let me do her makeup. This is when I give up, I know I don't have it in me to kill her so I lay limp and await my fate-

"Hey," A man sits next to me, his presence stood out effortlessly. With a strong, chiselled jawline and well-defined features, his face carried an air of that old-money elegance. His hazel eyes were softened by something (alcohol, probably), drawing others into their captivating gaze. Dark, tousled hair framed his face, adding an intriguing touch of ruggedness. He is clad in a white button-up and dress pants, I can well he's a blue-collar man just from the way he sits.

"What?" I squint my eyes at him.

"You're really pretty, I thought I would introduce myself," He smiles "I'm Emmet."

"Okay," I answer turning my attention to look ahead at the liquor display, watching the way the lights shone through them. Right now I don't care to make conversation, even if he looks like Henry Cavell, I'm fighting to stay awake.

One of his bulky hands reaches for my necklace, four of his fingers are beneath the cross, pressed against it while his thumb rubs it "You're religious."

I look down where he cradles my cross and try to jerk away but my body feels too heavy "Not anymore," I mutter. I put one of my hands over his to move it off me, he takes this as an invitation to hold my hand.

Emmet brings his head next to mine to whisper in my ear "So does that mean you're a good girl or a bad girl-

"It means she's leaving, actually," Ellie pushes him away abruptly, he looks taken aback while she doesn't give a shit. She begins to gingerly help me off the stool "Do you have everything?"

"Why are you here?" I ask "I called Abby."

"You called Dina and she's on the other side of town with her boyfriend so she sent me." Ellie slings one arm around me and I sink into her immediately.

"I hate you so much," I murmur under my breath.

"Yeah, I bet you do," She is gentle with me, she's treating me like I'm made of porcelain and I'll shatter at the slightest bit of harm.

Emmet looks crazily offended, his hands up in defence "Hey, we were having a conversation-

"Borderline harassment doesn't constitute a conversation." Ellie looks like she rolled out of bed, she is in her grey sweatpants and field hockey hoodie, her hair in the low ponytail she always wore to sleep. "Are you okay?" She asks, her tone shifting from harsh to soft.

"Mhm," I ball my fist up and rub my eye, smearing my mascara when I do so, I look down at my hand and see the remnants of my telescopic mascara and silver glitter smudged on it.

I am killing myself slowly and it is no crucifixion.

As Ellie helps me into the back seat of her car I feel like mold is growing on my bones just to way me down to the concrete where I will surely rot. "I don't write enough," I mumble "And I'm so lonely I'm searching for god everywhere but I can't find him."

Ellie gives me a little hum of acknowledgment her eyes briefly shooting to me in the rearview mirror before looking back to the road.

"Don't worry, I'm not in love with you anymore," I say nonchalantly as I'm sprawled out in her back seat, watching the light from neon signs pass us by.

"I didn't know you ever were." She says softly, hands on the steering wheel, she steals glances at me. The towering skyscrapers loomed like sentinels, their reflective glass surfaces capturing the myriad colours of neon signs that adorned the streets.

"I hate you," I add on. The mix of liquor and whatever drug Kayla gave me was doing me justice, I couldn't hold back any thought, they all fell from my lips in a jumbled mess. "I hope you die, I hope we both die." Ellie doesn't have anything to say to that. I think to myself that if I die in this moment, I would not be afraid, I would greet death like an old friend with a bright smile and warm hug. "I don't love anyone the way I love you," My head lulls against the window "And your girls, they all hate me."

"So which is it?" She asks, feeding into my tangent "Do you love me or do you hate me?"

"I-" I think about it for a brief moment "I hope if I killed myself everyone who was ever mean to me felt responsible." I look up slightly, using the car seats to help me steady myself "What are you doing?"

"I'm taking you home," She says, biting the inside of her cheek "What are you doing?"

"I'm waiting for god to call me back."

I ramble on and on, it's a miracle that she didn't stop at the side of the road and dump me onto a curb. The traffic lights painted the road in hues of red and green, and the city lights flickered like stars, helping us find our way home.

"Ellie," I say, a building up ahead catches my eyes "Ellie, pull over!" She thinks I'm going to throw up so she pulls her gray sedan over, as swiftly as possible. I stumble out of the car, my stiletto heel catches the ground in a weird way, my ankle goes sideways and I fall with it.

"Shit," Ellie rushes from the driver's seat to help me sit up straight. I use her as support to pull myself off the concrete sidewalk completely and walk towards the church up ahead like a zombie "Where are you going?"

"To clean myself from sin," I approach the church and force the heavy doors open; I knew for a fact even in my state that this church had its chapel open twenty-four hours from all of the Google pins my mom sent me when I first moved here.

The chapel's interior was bathed in a soft, ethereal moonlight that filtered through stained glass windows, casting a kaleidoscope of colours upon the polished wooden pews below.

Smooth, cool stone formed the foundation of the chapel. The high, arched ceilings reached towards the heavens, adorned with wooden beams that seemed to cradle the sacred space below. The acoustics, shaped by the architecture, lent an echo to the moonlight whisper as if the very walls absorbed and magnified the prayers of the faithful.

Rows of meticulously arranged pews lined either side of a central aisle, leading towards the altar bathed in a soft glow. Carved with intricate detail, the altar served as the focal point, adorned with candles, floral arrangements, and sacred symbols. The air was scented with the subtle fragrance of incense, a sensory companion to the spiritual journey within.

Throughout the chapel, unlit candles are spread throughout. Above the altar, a crucifix hung solemnly, a symbol of sacrifice and redemption. Rays of moonlight seemed to converge upon it, imbuing the sacred symbol with a profound sense of grace.

I try to compose myself the way you would a song or a speech and fall to my knees before the altar, clasping my hands together tightly. "My God, I am sorry for my sins with all my heart. In choosing to do wrong and failing to do good, I have sinned against you whom I should love above all things. I firmly intend, with your help, to do penance, to sin no more, and to avoid whatever leads me to sin. Our Savior Jesus Christ suffered and died for us. I wake young but feel as though my bones have resided on this earth for centuries."

I am at his altar but I don't feel him around me, where is his steady hand which used to guide me?

My hands grasp together even tighter "I am filthy, I'm disgusting," I choke out "I'm all used up and I need you to help me get better," I break my hands away from their position to wipe my eyes free of any oncoming tears before putting them right back "Fill me with your purity, I will be waterboarded by your sacred hand until holy water leaks from my pores."

Ellie hangs around by the entrance, sketched out by not only the creepy church but also my off-putting behaviour. She flinches at every shadow she sees, believing it to be a homeless person who was residing there for the night. I'm kneeling over in my sequin dress, one of the straps slips down my shoulder and my dress rides up, this is the most sinful I have ever been, synthetic sunshine coursing through my system.

"Make me love myself so I have room to love you," I feel so repulsive and dirty, soap and water won't make me feel clean so I'll try bleach and matches instead "I ask for Your mercy and grace to cleanse me from all unrighteousness. Create in me a clean heart, God, and renew a right spirit within me, return my family to my side."

I search for some sort of sign that he is watching over me.

Nothing.

No sign that he is here.

The priest at my old church in my hometown had said that without doubt there was no room for faith. It wasn't doubt, it was absolution, he is not here and so I unclasped my golden cross necklace and discarded it on the ground before the altar, never again will I be haunted by a man who has failed to ever show me mercy.

Ellie washes the grime off me with the detachable shower head. My hair is clipped up and I am hugging my knees, facing away from her in the bathtub. I feel a profound sense of shame and embarrassment all over again despite everything within me that is helping to take the edge off.

She holds the shower head but looks away to give me some false sense of dignity, I cried the whole way home from the church about being filthy but with how many times I had fallen over, she didn't want me to hit my head in the shower so we settled on this.

"I'm done," I mutter and right away Ellie turns the shower off and grabs my house robe from one of the hooks on the door, she holds it up and waits for me to stand, still averting her eyes. I stand slowly, gripping onto the rim of the tub for dear life. When I slip into it, Ellie helps me move out of the bathtub and into my bedroom.

She lifts me onto the bed and tucks me in beneath my satin duvet cover. Ellie leaves for a moment but when she returns she has a bowl in case I need to vomit, a class of water, a sleeve of saltines and a bottle of actual aspirin.

"Goodnight," She begins to shut the door but I stop her.

"Ellie?"

"Yeah?"

"Can you stay with me?" My voice breaks as I say it "Just for tonight, I don't want to be alone." Wordlessly, she shuts the door and comes around the right side of my bed; Ellie is careful keep her distance from me but unlike Christmas, we face each other. "I don't hate you." I tell her because that is all I could recall saying in the car ride.

"I know."

"Do you hate me?"

"Of course not."

I don’t think I’m a whole person anymore, I think I’m made up from a dozen different perceptions of me. This version of me, born that night was anything but pure.

I am unlovely, so please, hold me gently and do not wreck me any further.

A/N: The drinking age in Canada is nineteen! They go to school in the true north strong and free. Also one more part left to go 👀

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gurugirl · 3 months

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Can We Start Over | Ch. 5 The Coincidence

Series Summary: From the first day you and Harry meet, your relationship is beyond complicated. A one night stand leads to hurt feelings and then a job opportunity that you simply can't pass up is offered. But can you handle working for a man like him? rich!harry x plus size!reader | enemies to lovers

This is a 5 part series commissioned by @justfattiethings (thank you hon!).

Chapter 5. Summary: Things have changed for you and Harry but when you see him at a meeting, you are taken by surprise. It feels like destiny. Maybe this time things will work out for you two.

A/N: This is the final part to this series! Thank you everyone who stuck with the story and gave it a shot! Appreciate all the love!

Word Count: 12.7k

Warning: 18+ only, angst, smut, fluff

Can We Start Over? masterlist

Mr. Allen was on the phone again. He’d called you into his office but the moment you stepped in he got a call and told you to sit and wait. That it would only be a minute.

And it was only a minute. But then he got another call and now it was 23 minutes later while he was still yammering about some person who was just the worst.

You were used to it, though. Mr. Allen was retired so nothing was a rush for him anymore. Which also meant he held other people up. But waiting for your boss was the least of your worries.

His wife and her ever-changing personality was your biggest concern. She was, to put it mildly, a monster. And to make matters worse, she ran the whole household so you were often seeking her out for things. Mrs. Allen also handled her husband’s schedule and if he was running behind guess who got the blame. That’s right. You did. Every time.

And it was the same thing over and over again. You started your day trying to keep Mr. Allen up to task, failed, got reprimanded and degraded by a nasty human, held back tears and then took a long drive with loud music to clear your head with a quick stop for dinner, probably at a drive-through.

Needless to say, you were already planning on quitting. You’d gotten really lucky with Alfred. And even working with Harry hadn’t been as bad as it was working for Mrs. Allen and her husband. But you tried not to think about Harry if you could help it.

By the time Mr. Allen got off the phone he was running late for his physical therapy appointment. You got him moving along quickly and sent him on his way but not before Mrs. Allen started poking around and making comments under her breath.

“What was that?” You turned to look behind yourself at the wicked witch as she stood near the edge of the foyer.

“He’s late again.” She crossed her arms over her chest.

“That is correct.”

She rolled her eyes, “What’s the point of having a personal assistant who can’t even keep the boss on schedule?”

You smiled, holding back your true thoughts, “Well, being as my job description doesn’t entail using physical force on the boss, which is what it would take to get Mr. Allen to keep on time for anything, I’m certain you’ll find that once again, this isn’t my responsibility.”

“Lazy,” she spoke under her breath.

You tilted your head and squinted your eyes at her, “That’s the last thing I am. Now, if you don’t mind, my workday is over. Have a good evening.”

You walked past her to go into your room to pack up your laptop and leave. You’d stay at your own place that night. You hated staying at the Allen’s house. Not only was the room they’d given you a tiny spec of a thing with no windows, no closet, and not even a single rug to cover the cold tile floors but being anywhere near Mrs. Allen made your skin crawl.

“I don’t know why we bother with the room for you,” she was standing in the doorway when you turned around.

“You really didn’t bother much with the room in the first place. That’s why I don’t stay here. My house has a better bed with a big window looking into my backyard. I just feel better in my own bed at night.”

You walked past her and held your breath so as not to inhale her disgusting, pungent perfume. You used to like the scent she wore. But now you loathed it. Whenever you smelled it, even on another woman, it made you queasy. You very much did not like Mrs. Allen.

You turned up the volume on your car radio the moment your front tires hit the road. You always looked forward to going home after work. This day wasn’t as bad as you’d had before and tomorrow you’d do it all over again.

And instead of stopping at a drive-through for fast food, you decided you’d stop at the grocery store and pick up ingredients to actually make something fresh.

Typically you didn’t cook. You didn’t have time for it. Picking up groceries would put you home at almost 8 pm. And then you still needed to cook so you wouldn’t be eating until close to 9 and then you could finally relax with a glass of wine and a good book or something trashy on television. Which was why drive-throughs were your go-to dinner plans. It meant you were home by 7:30 and dinner was already cooked. Not the best use of money and certainly not the healthiest way to live but you wouldn’t be doing it much longer.

You had a meeting to attend with Mr. and Mrs. Allen the following week that piqued your interest. It was for a piece of art that they’d been looking for. And someone found it for them. From an art dealer who was not too far away. You didn’t know for sure but you had a feeling. And you wanted to find out if that feeling was right.

Maybe you were a masochist and just wanted to pour salt onto the wound of your split open heart one more time. Or maybe you did have some hope that it was Harry and that maybe you could try and receive his feelings for you once and for all.

But it’d been just over 9 months since you’d seen him and you were sure he’d moved on by now. There would be no reason for him to still be pining over you the way you were over him. And what were the chances that it was him in the first place? You didn’t know but you needed to find out.

Yeah. You regretted what you’d done. Pushing him away like that. But once you’d done it, it felt like it was too late to go back. Maybe it was your pride. Or that little voice in the back of your head that told you men always leave and they always lie. That anyone that might love you would probably just disappoint you in the end.

But now you were in therapy and talking to someone opened your eyes to your self-sabotaging ways. You had been certain that the way you felt couldn’t be helped. That you were a prisoner to your trauma and all the hurt and that it was for the best. You’d been wrong, though. You could help the way you processed feelings and the way you responded when things got hard. You didn’t have to push away the notion that a man could love you or keep running away from your problems.

After picking up ingredients to make a nice little dinner for yourself you arrived at your cute house.

You loved the place. Loved the neighborhood. You found it a few weeks after you told Harry to leave your apartment. It wasn’t that far from your old place but you felt like it was good enough for a new start. At the time, you were ready to take the plunge. To move on. It was just a rental but it felt like your own place.

Though, not long after moving in you started feeling like getting rid of every trace of Harry had been a bad idea. You missed him. However, you didn’t recognize how you were feeling for him until you began therapy. The more you spoke honestly about everything and without any judgment, you began to peel off layers of yourself that you had unconsciously piled on to protect yourself. But that only wound up making things worse.

And one night, almost six months since you’d seen him, you decided to drive past his big, gated home. You still had the fob to his entry but of course, you wouldn’t use it. You only wanted to just drive past. To your surprise, there was a For Sale sign stuck in the grass in front of the gate.

You parked across from the house and tried to see if there was anything that indicated he’d actually moved out but seeing inside was impossible. You could see the top level of the house and that was really it.

The sinking feeling in your chest that you’d probably never see him again started to settle over you slowly. You’d moved away and blocked him from everything and then deleted his contact and now he was no longer living in the only place you knew where he might be. He was gone.

But then when you helped set up the meeting with the art dealer there was the smallest tinge of hope there. You felt like this might be your last chance. You had just been about to quit when Mrs. Allen gave you the number to an assistant of a dealer who had access to a painting they wanted. You never learned the name of the art dealer, only of the assistant who worked for them.

So you’d stick it out until after the meeting and then you’d give up your hope for ever seeing Harry again if it wasn’t him. And you’d also quit your job once and for all.

Of course, it’s not him. Don’t get your hopes up.

You had to remind yourself of that over and over again. The chances were slim that you would actually be seeing Harry.

Either way, you were looking forward to that meeting. Even if it wasn’t Harry, you’d be free of Mr. and Mrs. Allen once and for all after you quit.

But the days dragged on slowly. The only thing that was good about the time that led up to the meeting was the little secret that you were quitting. It was something you were excited about.

The morning of the meeting you woke up well before your alarm went off. You’d been unable to fall back asleep as you remembered the last time you and Harry slept together. The words he spoke to you that night haunted you every day since, “Want to make you feel so good. Want to make you smile, Y/n. Want to make you happy.”

You sighed. You hoped it was him at the meeting. You hoped there was still some way to salvage what you’d done. Hoped there was still something there. If it was him, that is.

Your entire morning routine had turned into a spa event. You turned on your coffee pot and then got into the shower, getting yourself ready for the possibility of anything and everything. You had selected your outfit days prior and put on a full face of makeup. You were going to look your absolute best.

And no matter what the outcome of the meeting was, today was a good day. Because at the end of it, you’d be a free woman. You’d never again step foot in the Allen house. You took all of your belongings from the spec of a bedroom over a few days so no one would notice. You rarely stayed over anyway so it wasn’t like you needed to keep much there in the first place.

You had a taxi take you to the Allen’s on that day. Because your plan was to quit the moment the painting was purchased and you weren’t going to be going back to their house with them after the meeting just to get your car. You’d get a taxi home. It was quite dramatic but you couldn’t wait to quit. Couldn’t wait to tell Mrs. Allen you were done and then walk off. Only a few more hours.

When you arrived at the Allen’s your first stop was the kitchen to make Mr. Allen’s coffee (skim milk and stevia) and Mrs. Allen’s chai green tea with raw honey. This was always the best part of your day. Things were usually quiet, Mrs. Allen wasn’t raging just yet, and the morning light that came into their gorgeous kitchen felt peaceful. While the coffee was perking you brought Mrs. Allen her tea drink where you knew you’d find her and placed it down on its coaster next to her. As usual, she did not acknowledge your existence or even say thank you.

Mr. Allen was always cordial, however.

“Morning Mr. Allen. Here’s your coffee.”

“Thank you, Y/n. Have you seen my wife this morning?”

You smiled and stood next to his desk, “I just gave her some tea. Why?”

“I think she wanted to make sure we had wire information set up to pay for the painting today. She’s very set on making the purchase. Can you double-check we have everything we need?”

“I’m certain we have everything we need but I’ll definitely do a quick check.”

As you suspected, everything was ready to go. When you confirmed as much you went to find Mrs. Allen to tell her.

“Mr. Allen told me you wanted to make sure the wire instructions were ready and I just wanted to let you know that we’ve got everything we need and it’s all ready to go for when it comes time to pay.”

“Good. Now,” she turned to look at you, “this is a meeting we cannot be late for so I’d appreciate it if you could have everything ready for us so there are no delays. I don’t want any excuses.”

You nodded, stifling the small laugh before it could make it out of your mouth, “Of course, Mrs. Allen.”

But as always, Mr. Allen was dawdling. You did remind him of the meeting but he assured you he was going to be on time. He wasn’t. You weren’t surprised.

When it was time to leave he was still in his office in his slippers on his third cup of coffee talking to his brother about sports.

“I told you this is a meeting we cannot be late for. This is unacceptable!” Mrs. Allen was red in the face as she barked at you. Somehow, she always seemed shocked when her husband held things up. You didn’t know how it was possible that she was so surprised.

You blinked your eyes and sighed, “He doesn’t need to be at the meeting with us. I say we just go. He’ll be fine here by himself.”

She nodded and mumbled under her breath about your incompetence, “Tell him we’re leaving without him. I’m going to get the driver to pull the car around.”

You poked your head into the office and waved at Mr. Allen and he pulled the phone from his ear to look at you with his brows raised. As if he didn’t know what was going on.

“We’re going to leave now for the painting. You can stay behind. No need for you to be there. Okay?”

He smiled at you and nodded before getting back to his call. You knew he didn’t care. This painting wasn’t for him. It was for Mrs. Allen. It was something she’d been wanting. She’d just hang it up alongside the rest of her collection of exotic animal paintings and artwork.

The car ride was silent. Which you preferred. You tried not speaking to Mrs. Allen when you could help it. Luckily she wasn’t interested in having a conversation with you.

And 30 minutes later when you arrived, your mind was swirling with thoughts of what could happen and what probably wouldn’t.

Your nerves were all over the place. If you were about to walk into a room with Harry Styles, being nervous was warranted. You hadn’t seen his handsome face in so long and wanted so badly for it to be him.

It was unlikely. At least that’s what you kept telling yourself. No reason to get your hopes up.

You and Mrs. Allen got out of the car once the driver had let you both out at the front.

It was a public gallery so everyone could just walk in to admire the art. You noticed there were people inside looking at the sculptures and paintings as you followed behind Mrs. Allen toward the desk at the side of the room where a young woman sat.

“Hi. I’m Delia Allen here for a meeting to view the Ghaui piece.”

The young woman smiled widely, “Yes. Of course! Just follow me. We have it moved into a special viewing room just for you.”

If there was ever a moment in your life where you thought that one small step toward a physical room could forever change your life, it was this. What if he was there? What if he wasn’t?

The gallery wasn’t a large space but there were temporary walls placed around the room to act as dividers and a spot for more art to hang. You wove around the walls and into a hallway where the young woman stepped into a room with Mrs. Allen just behind her. You paused for a moment before stepping inside. This was it. It either was or it wasn’t.

Placing your hand on the frame of the door and taking a deep breath you breached the space to enter the viewing room and found that there was no one else inside. It was the painting that Mrs. Allen had been so keen on buying, hung up with lights aimed at it, a table and chairs.

You didn’t know what to expect but it wasn’t this. You imagined someone would be inside the room waiting for you.

“The dealer will be right in. He’s finishing up something with someone else. Five minutes tops.”

The painting was of elephants in an African wildlife scene. It wasn’t your taste but you had to respect Mrs. Allen for her interests. If there was anything about her you could say you liked, it was her love of animals and how much support she’d given African wildlife sanctuaries. She’d also gone on many safaris (without Mr. Allen you learned) and helped fund conservation parks that helped employ people and protect the land and animals. Honestly, when you found out this was her thing you felt like you were looking at a different woman.

She was still a bitch, though.

“I thought this meeting was set up and ready to go, Y/n,” she turned to look at you. As if somehow the dealer running late was your fault.

“It is set and ready. The girl said the dealer would be right in. We just need to wait a couple of minutes.”

You didn’t look at her face as you responded. You were done looking at her face. After this meeting, you’d never have to look at it again.

“Sergi could’ve come if I knew this was going to happen.”

You rolled your eyes, back facing her as you looked over the lines and the paint on the canvas. It was a well-done piece of art.

When the door opened only a moment later you felt your heart stop for a split second, a chill ran down your face, over your shoulders, and through your spine as you slowly turned around when Mrs. Allen spoke, “Finally.”

Your vision grew spotty, like tiny particles floating around and mixing up the scene before you. Fuzzy like a grey screen on a television. You blinked your eyes to clear your sight as you looked at him for the first time in over 9 months. It was him.

And his reaction to you appeared much the same, with him pausing in the doorway, mouth agape, eyes wide.

“Hello? Are you the dealer?” Mrs. Allen was great at ruining a moment.

Harry’s eyes blinked as he shook his head and finally peeled his sight from you to look at the other woman in the room. He cleared his throat, closing the door behind himself, and stepped forward to Mrs. Allen with his hand out, “Yes. I’m the dealer. Harry Styles,” he shook her hand and then shot his eyes back to you, taking in your outfit quickly before moving toward you, his hand outstretched in silence.

You hadn’t moved from your spot next to the painting. You hadn’t closed your mouth or peeped a single word because you couldn’t. And even though you had a feeling that it was him before the meeting ever took place, the surprise and shock you felt was overwhelming.

It was really him. It was Harry. And you couldn’t believe it was him.

You placed your hand in his to shake and the moment was eternity. Your eyes pinned together, palms warm to the touch, searching gazes, and a million little thoughts dancing around your heads. It was real. He was real. You were real. The moment was real.

But of course, as Mrs. Allen tended to do she interrupted the odd reunion and began speaking, “Please go over the details with me. I think I’d like to know a little more and then we can talk price.”

Harry’s adam’s apple bobbed as he released your hand and straightened his posture and he handed a folder to Mrs. Allen and began to go over everything she might want to know.

Your heart was racing and you were unable to listen to anything he said regarding the painting. It all sounded like gibberish to you but you could hear his smooth deep voice as he spoke, and the occasional glance in your direction had your skin sparking in delight.

“Earth to Y/n,” Mrs. Allen waved her hand in front of your face and you slowly drifted from your reverie back to reality and looked at her.

“Jesus, it’s like herding cats with you,” she pointed, “Let’s get this part ready. Open your laptop.”

You reached into your bag and pulled out your laptop, placing it on the table so you could begin the wire payment. You looked from Mrs. Allen to Harry and then back to your screen as the bank sight loaded.

Of course, you had to log in and the internet connection wasn’t as fast as you’d have liked so Mrs. Allen let out an annoyed sigh.

“Always like this with her,” she looked at Harry with her arms crossed, “Slow. Lazy–“

“Are you serious?” Harry sounded perturbed. Aghast.

You looked from him to Mrs. Allen and the look on his face matched the sound of his voice as he looked at her with disdain.

“Of course I am. You don’t know her so you have no idea what–“

“I do actually know her,” he glanced at you softening his gaze. “Don’t speak about her that way or the deal is off.”

You blinked and smiled gently as you opened up the bank wire screen.

“What? You can’t treat me like this. I’m a paying client. I will walk out of here without this painting if you dare–“

“Then leave.” He looked at her with his brows raised in a dare.

She huffed and clutched her purse, “Fine. Just… do the deal, Y/n. I’ll be right back. I need to use the restroom and get some air. When I return I want this to be over with.”

She walked out of the room and slammed the door rudely and Harry stepped in front of the computer as you looked up at him, “Y/n. I can’t believe it’s you. Are you working for her?”

You stood up straight and nodded, “Yeah. It’s a disaster. I’m quitting as soon as this is over. It’s been my plan for a month.”

He smiled, “You’re quitting? Now?”

You nodded again, “Yes. As soon as this deal is complete I’m done.”

“Can I see you? Like, after this? Dinner maybe?”

You sputtered a tiny laugh. It was like music to your ears, “Okay. Why not?”

Harry grinned widely and pointed at the computer, “Let’s get this over with then. Push that payment through and let’s get out of here.”

There it was again, the blurred vision, grey and colored specs floating around you as if you were in the grey screen of a TV. You couldn’t believe it. Perhaps it was only a dream. Perhaps you were about to wake up and it was all going to have been just a wild dream that you’d never recover from.

You called the bank with a smile on your face to begin the wire transfer. Everything was set as you entered the details into the account on your laptop and spoke with the representative.

But of course, there was one thing holding the whole thing up. Mrs. Allen had to be there to verbally give the go-ahead to the man on the phone. You were not authorized.

So when she came back to the room and the payment wasn’t yet completed she was furious, “How can you mess up the simplest things, Y/n?”

“All you need to do is tell the man this wire transfer from your bank to the owner’s is authorized. You’re holding this up. Not her,” Harry spoke.

She pulled the cell phone from you with a sigh and spoke into the receiver as you smiled at Harry.

“There. It’s done.” She handed the phone to you and the transaction was finalized. Emails went out to all the parties involved in the sale with the receipt and you closed your laptop.

“Good. Now, have someone wrap this so I can bring it back without getting scratched.”

Harry nodded, “I’ll have Laira get someone for you and they’ll bring it to your car.”

Mrs. Allen looked at you and snapped her fingers, “You can go wait in the car for me. No need to have you standing around and gawking like an idiot.”

You stuffed your laptop into your bag and looked at Mrs. Allen, “Delia?” You made it a point to call her by her first name, which you knew she hated, “I quit. Working for you has been hell. You’ll go home without me as I’ve already made other arrangements. Tell Mr. Allen it was lovely to work for him. I’ll send him an email explaining why I quit tomorrow. Also, the agency won’t work with you again after I share details and proof of the way you treated me.”

Her mouth dropped open and the look of surprise on her face was quite hilarious as you pushed passed her with Harry following behind you.

You felt exhilarated and your heart was pumping blood through your body and your limbs rapidly as you smiled and made your way to the front of the gallery.

Harry kept in step with you as he waved at the girl at the desk, “Please help Mrs. Allen get the painting wrapped and put into her car. I’m done for the day. Call me if you need anything.”

You felt the warm air hit your cheeks when you stepped outside into the sun with Harry behind you.

“Y/n, I’m still kind of in disbelief that you’re here. I must be dreaming,” he turned toward you with a wide grin.

“I feel the same way. Like I’m just going to wake up and it’s all been a dream.”

“Pinch me,” he put his arm out and pushed his shirt sleeve up to his forearm, displaying the tattoos on his skin.

You laughed and put your thumb and pointer over his skin and gave him a good pinch and he let out a deep breath, “Do it again.”

You couldn’t stop the small chuckle that fell from your lips as you pinched him again and he grabbed the tops of your arms tightly, “Y/n I’ve missed you so much. I’ve wanted to talk to you so many times. I have so much to tell you.”

“Me too, Harry. There’s so much to say.”

He led you to his car and you both got inside. It felt so surreal to be climbing into Harry’s car with him, “Where would like to go eat?” He looked at you from the driver’s seat as he started up his car.

You shook your head, “I don’t know. Don’t care really.”

He nodded, “Yeah I don’t care either. Just as long as I get to go there with you. Okay, we’ll go to this spot I found some months ago. They have great crab cakes.”

When he pulled out to the street you looked at him, “New car then?”

He nodded, “Yeah. The lease came up on the other one and figured something different would be nice. I’ve had this for a few months.”

“And did you move?”

He licked his lips and glanced at you, “Yeah. Not long after you left. A lot has happened since you’ve been gone. I… did a lot of thinking about what I want in life and how I want to live it. The place was too big. Not sustainable for me any longer. Too expensive.”

“Really? That’s surprising.”

He breathed out through his nose as he nodded, “I stopped dealing with stolen items. It was dumb of me to get involved in all that in the first place. I never started off being an art dealer with the idea that I would be wealthy. It began because I genuinely love the art world and discovering new pieces. I lost that somewhere along the way and you leaving like you did remind me of what was important in life. Money is not all there is.”

You were surprised to hear this. It made you wonder what else had changed.

The restaurant was a small, hip-looking spot. You had both arrived before the dinner crowd, it was still a bit early for dinner, but to you, it didn’t matter. You were with Harry again and even though you weren’t quite sure what to expect things were going better than you imagined.

You and Harry were seated at a small round table for two by a big window looking out over the parking lot. It wasn’t fancy but it felt amazing to get face to face with him after all that time.

“Y/n, I hope you don’t mind me saying, but you look incredible. I know I said it already but I really missed you. I hope you and I can keep in touch after this. If that’s something you wanted. It would mean so much to me to be able to see you again.”

You picked at the corner of the laminated menu that had been placed on the table in front of you and looked up at him, “Harry, I missed you a lot too. I regretted the way I ended things. Moving away and blocking you. I thought it was the right thing to do. I deleted every part of you from my life and by the time I realized it was a mistake I didn’t have your contacts anymore,” you shook your head as you looked into his eyes, “I’m sorry I did it that way. I’m sorry for walking away from you.”

Harry reached across the table and put his hand over yours, “I’m glad you did. Y/n, I don’t know if I would have had the kind of self-reflection and epiphany I did if you’d stayed. But you leaving like that made me rethink everything I thought was important. Made me realize that dealing in the black market and jet-setting all over the world to do something that goes against my very core… I hated it. I hated you leaving but it opened my eyes.”

“So you really don’t do any of that anymore?”

He shook his head, “No. Now I bounce around from gallery to gallery to view pieces and check the legitimacy, the provenance. I work for myself still but now I’m not making as much money. Which is fine!” He laughed, dimples digging into his cheeks, “It’s better this way. I sleep better knowing I’m doing things right now.”

“Where do you live now?”

“Like twenty minutes from here. Bought a regular-sized house with a garage and an ugly entryway,” he grinned, “But I love it. I love it because it makes me feel happy. It’s not so much to maintain. Had to let go of all the staff I had but other than that, I haven’t missed the income as much as I thought I would.”

You were impressed with him. You never imagined he’d stop dealing in illegal items because you knew the money was so good.

The waiter stood at your table and you both told him what you’d like to drink. A sparkling water with lemon for you, and a hot black tea for him.

“So you were working for that woman. She’s awful. How long did you stay with her?”

You laughed and shook your head, “I worked for the Allens for just over seven months. Hated every minute of it. She only got worse as time went on. I thought once she got used to me she’d lighten up be she was truly evil. Would just talk down to me and blame me for everything that went wrong.”

“Why did you stay there for so long?”

“At first I stayed hoping it would get better. You know you kind of get into a groove and can look past bullshit and then everyone starts to get used to one another. But that never happened. I tried to stick it out. But then of course I needed the money too. Well, on some level. The security of having a job is nice and the rent at my new house is a lot more than what I paid at my apartment. Figured I’d wait for the right moment. Then about a month ago I found out that Delia wanted to buy this piece of art she’d been wanting and she was going to go through a dealer and I was just about to quit. I really was but,” you shrugged and smiled as you looked down at the menu, “Though it would be funny if maybe you were the dealer,” you brought your eyes back up to him.

He squinted, his brows pulling in as he looked at you, “You continued working for them when you thought maybe I was going to be the dealer on the sale? So you could see me?”

You nodded and smiled, “I mean. Sort of. I really didn’t think it was going to be you but I figured it wouldn’t hurt to just see. So I stuck it out. My plan was to quit the moment the deal was over. That’s why I was saying that at the gallery. It was like, one last thing, just to see if it was you and then I was done working for them.”

Harry laughed and pulled his lips into his mouth, shaking his head in amazement, “I can’t believe you wanted to see me. I was certain you were done and wanted nothing to do with me. I did go back to your apartment one day, maybe like two months later. But you’d already moved out. And you never responded to any of my texts or calls. Figured that was that. What made you want to see me?”

You tried not to feel bad how you ended things with him but it was hard not to, “I really did like you. It was just hard for me to admit how much. And then Brandy, my best friend, talked me into going to therapy. And honestly? Just talking about how I process things and my emotions with someone else helped me a ton. Helped me see how I self-sabotage. Anything that might make me happy, specifically romance, was a big block for me. I didn’t even realize it consciously. I think I knew I pushed people away when I didn’t need to. And I realized I did that with you.”

Harry nodded as he listened and the waiter placed your drinks down on the table before taking your orders for food.

It felt like you had so much to tell him and you could see Harry felt the same with everything he admitted to you. You loved listening to him and watching him as he spoke or the way he gazed at you as you recounted the last 9 months to him.

While so much did happen in those 9 months, you felt comfortable sitting at that small table talking to Harry about it all. Everything felt so familiar and nice with him. It felt like you were both exactly on the same page and this time around maybe you could really have something special with him. If he wanted the same thing as you.

“So you missed me? What did you miss about me?” Harry smirked at you as he took a scoop of the dessert you were both sharing.

“Hmm… I think I liked it when you were nice to me and vulnerable with me. Our late-night kitchen chats. How you took up for me with that one lady. And even today you did it again with Mrs. Allen. I think there were times when I hated you but mostly I liked you. And those things I missed.”

His smirk didn’t fall from his lips and it looked like he was holding back what he wanted to say.

“What? What’s that look?” You pointed your fork at him.

Harry laughed and looked down at the table before putting his eyes back on yours, “You didn’t miss… like my body or something?”

You laughed and grinned at him, “Oh my god, Harry,” you rolled your eyes and shook your head.

“I mean you have to admit, Y/n, we are very good together. Aren’t we? Like… just fit so well me and you.”

You inhaled and let your eyes trail over his features as you tried to keep the grin off your face.

“You’re insane.” You licked your lips.

“No, I’m not. You know it’s true. Tell me you’ve had better with anyone else and I’ll tell you you’re lying. You missed me but you also missed all those dirty little things I did to you.”

“You’re way too confident and cocky still,” you laughed.

“Am I?” His smile was something that always got you. The grin, the dimples, the crinkles at the edge of his eyes.

“What do you want me to say, Harry? That I missed little Styles down there?” You sputtered a laugh.

“Little? Is that what you’d call it?” He placed his elbows on the table and leaned forward closer to you, “You said otherwise when–“

“Anything else for you two?” The waiter broke the tension as Harry shot his eyes up to the man.

“I think we’ll take the check. Thank you.”

You laughed as the server walked away and Harry cocked his head with that smirk still plastered on his face.

The sun was beginning to go down as the check was laid on the table and you insisted on splitting it with Harry. He grumped about you paying anything at all but you weren’t taking no for an answer.

You were surprised you’d been at the restaurant for so long. Hours had gone by but it didn’t feel that long because you two had so much to talk about. So much lost time to make up for.

“So where do you live, Y/n? Should I drop you off at home?”

You bit your lip and shrugged, “Not too far from here. Off Coalfax and the interstate. Do you want to drop me off?”

Harry’s smile softened, “I don’t want to drop you off. No. I want to continue this. I’m not ready for you to disappear again.”

Swallowing you reached your hand toward his and rubbed your fingers over his knuckles, “Then you don’t have to drop me off. Come with me. I’ll invite you in.”

Harry stood up quickly, taking your hand in his as you both walked to the exit and toward his car. You laughed as he pulled you along.

“Coalfax? Just North of here?” He spoke as he started up his car.

“Yeah. Exactly. You’ll take a right on Coalfax. I’ll tell you where to go.”

Harry kept glancing at you and the smile on his face stayed throughout the entire drive. You were sure he was feeling the kind of excitement you had bubbling in your tummy. Still not quite sure of what to expect but nearly certain of what could happen.

Maybe you were jumping in too fast but maybe… just maybe the timing was exactly right. You couldn’t tell but you weren’t going to let yourself overthink it. That wasn’t going to happen with you anymore. You already regretted too much of what had happened with Harry and this time would be different.

Harry parked his car on the street in front of your small house and you both walked up to your door, “You’ve still got the same car,” he noted.

“Yup. Runs well. No payment other than insurance. Cheap maintenance. I love the old thing. Hope I never have to get rid of it.”

Harry followed behind you through your front door and you switched on the light before you felt his hand tugging at yours.

You turned to face him and the reality of everything was clear suddenly. You’d reconnected with Harry. The one man you couldn’t stop thinking about. Couldn’t stop replaying his words to you, couldn’t stop imagining the way he kissed you and took care of you.

“I can’t believe you’re standing here in my living room,” you smiled at him and Harry shook his head.

“I can’t believe I’m here either. I can’t believe I’m looking at you and that you were there today and…” he swallowed as he squeezed your hand, “I don’t want to scare you off, Y/n, but you have no idea how happy I am right now. How this all feels like destiny. Like we were meant to be here right now.”

You laughed through your nose, “I don’t really believe in stuff like that, but it doesn’t kind of feel that way, doesn’t it? Like another chance.”

He nodded, “Another chance. Exactly.”

“Do you want to sit? Or would you like some wine?”

Harry looked around the space of your living room. He hadn’t taken his surroundings in until then as he was too focused on you.

“Maybe a glass of wine. If it’s not too much trouble.”

You grinned, “Of course it’s not. Come. It’s in the kitchen.”

The light flickered on overhead as you flipped the switch and then opened your cabinet to retrieve the bottle of wine and two glasses.

“Y/n, this place is really nice. I like it.” Harry looked around as he spoke.

“I like it too. It’s why I moved here. Felt like home when I walked in to view it for the first time. It’s just a rental but it’s perfect for me.”

You placed the bottle on the counter and handed him a glass of wine.

Harry held his glass up, “Thank you for inviting me in and for humoring me with your kindness.”

You laughed, “Humoring you? Harry, I am fully genuine right now. I wanted to have dinner with you and I wanted you to come into my home. I’m not just being nice. I want you here.”

“I like hearing that.”

You both took a sip of your wine as Harry kept his eyes on you.

It was warm. Searing hot in fact. Harry was gorgeous and he was in your house and he was looking at you with those green eyes that had looked at you so many times before.

“Have you…” He paused as he placed his glass down and cleared his throat, “Have you seen anyone since? Like dated? Are you dating?”

You laughed at the way he fumbled his words. He seemed nervous suddenly, “No. I haven’t.” You placed your own glass down and suddenly felt that flutter of nerves, “And… I’m a little nervous to ask you the same.” You raised your brows at him.

He shook his head, “No.”

You nodded, “Surprised to hear that. But relieved I have to admit.”

“Why are you surprised?”

“Because I thought you’d have your pick. In fact even today when I thought there was a chance I might see you, felt like it was silly because surely you’d moved on and found someone.”

Harry’s brows stitched together, “I had a hard time feeling okay after that day when I left your apartment. Have actually never been so depressed and distraught over anyone before. I couldn’t just move on. Even when I started to feel a little better about it all. I just missed you so much. I know you blocked me on every platform out there. I got the hint when you didn’t text or call back. But I still missed you.”

You smiled, “And you’re not on social media at all. I did look but I kind of felt like if I did find you it wouldn’t have been good for me. I know I could have tried harder to reach out. I think I was a little scared of what I’d find.”

“What did you think you’d find?”

“That you were dating someone. I don’t know.”

The air shifted when Harry brought his hand up to your chin and gently gripped your face, “You’re the only woman I’ve had my mind on all these months. The only one I could ever think about. I don’t want anyone else.”

Your lips parted and you blinked your eyes as you took in his words.

“Do you understand what I mean? I don’t know if you feel the same way about me but just to know that you missed me and want me to be here with you right now means everything to me.”

“I don’t want anyone else either, Harry.”

“Does that mean you want me? I just need to hear it if it’s true, Y/n.”

You gulped and nodded, “Yeah. I do.”

The hand that held your chin released you and moved around to the back of your neck while his other hand landed on your hip and he pressed his lips to yours.

At last. At last.

You closed your eyes and drew your hands up to the back of his neck and moaned as he opened his mouth and you opened yours. Lips winding and smearing and pushing…

It felt like you were looking down at yourself, watching as you kissed Harry in your kitchen. And it was a beautiful sight. The two of you joined, grasping onto the other, hearts thrashing in your chests, bodies alight.

Harry’s grip on your side tightened, his fingers pinching around your clothes. The hand at the back of your neck squeezing and holding you in place as his lips slid against yours

You allowed yourself to be pulled in closer and moved your hand into his curls. You missed his scent. You missed his touch. His warmth. His care.

He parted from the kiss and moved his hand to your jaw, “Can we start over? This time, Y/n, you’re not going to regret it. This is it for us. Understand me?”

His words were almost a threat. Or maybe a promise. Both perhaps.

“Yes, Harry. I’m not going to regret it this time. I promise.”

He nodded, still holding you close, and then softly ghosted his lips over yours, “Because I can’t lose you again. I want this with you.”

You were gonna lose it. Everything was too much and not enough. You wanted him and you wanted to go slow but you wanted to tear his clothes off and feel him all over.

“I want you, Harry,” you breathed out against his lips as you clung to him, “I want this with you.”

You felt the vibration of his moan against your mouth as he dropped his lips to your chin and then along the curve of your jaw. When his lips pressed into the skin on your neck you gasped and hugged him tighter. His mouth drew your flesh in as he sucked a spot and then lowered to the curve of your shoulder and neck, suckling again at the skin where you knew it would be bruised.

“Fuck…” he whispered as he pressed his nose against your jaw, “Where’s your bedroom, Y/n?”

That was easy. The house was small. You led him down the hallway to your bedroom where you turned on your lamp and he began unbuttoning his shirt.

“Take your clothes off.”

You were surprised by his sudden command but you didn’t want to ask questions. The only thing you wanted was him and his hands and his body…

You pulled off your top before unzipping your skirt and kicking it down your legs. Harry’s eyes were dark as he continued taking his clothes off while he watched you undress.

When you were only in your underwear and bra he pointed, “Off. All of it.”

You swallowed and did as he said. Taking your bra off first and then your panties slowly as you used your bed to keep balance.

Harry was left in only his boxer briefs as he stalked toward you like a predator. You’d seen him in action before, you’d seen him a little dominant but this was different. It was like he had something to prove.

“On the bed, Y/n.”

You gave him a curt nod and sat down before scooting back into your bed. He climbed between your legs and moved your thighs apart, “You want this right? You want me? Want us?” He looked at you.

You nodded, “Yes, Harry. I do.”

That seemed like all he needed to know before he finally placed his lips on your chubby thigh, dotting wet kisses down and toward the soft inside near to your crotch and then he switched to the other side, kissing upward gently as he looked at you and then gripped the back of your thighs to push your legs apart, switching his sight from your face to your pussy.

“Y/n I missed everything about you,” he lowered himself, putting his stomach down onto your bed as he held himself over your core, “I know I only had you twice like this but I missed your body. Your smell,” he let go of your left leg as he pressed his fingers onto your mound and slowly dragged them downward, “The way your thighs part and how your skin looks right here,” he pressed a kiss over the spot right next to your labia.

But then he pushed himself up and climbed over you releasing your leg, his hands finding your breasts, “Your perfect tits,” his lips wrapped around your nipple, tongue laving over your sensitive bud and kissing over your soft skin toward your other side, lapping at your plush breasts before dragging his mouth upward to your neck, “Your skin, your voice,” hot peppered kisses up to your jaw until his mouth met yours again.

“Your mouth, this mouth,” he licked against your lips and pushed his mouth against the edge of yours and ran his nose against yours, “You. I missed you. Everything. Your heart and your laugh. I can’t do it again. I can’t go through that again.”

You felt his hands on your face, cupping your cheeks as he looked down at you, “Don’t leave me. Not ever again.”

You shook your head and lifted a hand up to his jaw, “Never. I don’t want to, Harry. I won’t.”

He grinned dreamily at you, his eyes wandering over your features slowly before he lowered himself down your body again, pressing his shoulders to the back of your thighs, and hooked his arms underneath to keep you in place.

The moment you felt his mouth on your core you clenched your eyelids closed and sighed. It had meant so much to you to have him loving on you, touching you, needing you. And Harry was the only man who’d ever worked an orgasm out of you with his mouth.

And even then, his tongue dragging through your pussylips and up to your clit, over and over again in a teasing, slow build it had you unwinding and unfolding for him. You wanted to give yourself to him fully. And that felt so good.

It felt good to trust yourself for once. To allow yourself to trust him. You could push past your feelings of inadequacy and thinking that no one would actually want you for you. Because that was a lie. You had been lying to yourself for so long and even though you knew it was your own hangup, it was hard to get past it. Until now. Because now you weren’t going to undermine yourself anymore. You learned it was okay to question motives but that it was also okay to accept kindness and love where it was offered.

You felt as he applied open-mouthed kisses to your clit and finally began to push over it, the pressure and the slide of his tongue right where you needed him had you moaning. Had you getting his face all wet.

Harry’s mouth and tongue worked at you strategically; slow teases of a gentle lap at your bud and then a harsh suck and flick to make you shiver. Every wet drag of his muscle against your clit drew you closer to your end as you gave in to the feeling.

And just like the other times he’d eaten you out you reached down to push your fingers into his hair and arched your back into him as a signal for him to keep doing exactly what he was doing. And he seemed to understand your nonverbal cue as he dug in and continued lapping and sucking exactly like you liked.

He watched your tits wobble and your body jerk and convulse as he kept his mouth suctioned to your pussy with his tongue wagging and slicking over your puffy clit until he felt you pressing his head down further and you coughed out a loud groan when your thighs started to shake.

His moans into your pussy vibrated through to your guts and it felt like you were going to explode.

“Fuck, Harry!” You were grinding yourself into his mouth and nose as you felt your release snap and you lost control of your volume and the sound of your voice and your limbs as he held you down so he could press broad strokes of his tongue over your pussy back and forth.

Harry closed his eyes and let you use his face and mouth to grind your clit on as you orgasmed. His cock was so hard; just tasting you and hearing your gasps and pleas of need had him spinning in the clouds. It made him happy to hear how good he was making you feel.

And that’s what he wanted the most. Was to make you happy. He wanted your smiles and laughter. He wanted you to enjoy his company and to feel happy with him. He wanted your heart and your soul and everything that made you who you were because he’d already decided he’d give you everything he could. His heart was yours already.

Ever since that day you kicked him out of your apartment, he hadn’t stopped thinking about all the things he did wrong. How childish he’d been with you. He hadn’t meant to fuck up so badly but he would make sure that his old ways were in the past. Now he was yours and he would prove to you that you could trust him.

When you gently released his hair and pushed yourself up to look at him he lifted with a grin, “Felt good?” His mouth and chin were glistening with you.

You laughed and nodded as you watched him slide his underwear down his sturdy thighs and toss them onto the floor. His body was even better than before. You weren’t sure why. Maybe he’d been hitting the gym harder. Or maybe it was just that now things were different. And you were seeing him in a different light. Looking at him in a way that you never had before. But you were still focused on his strong build and dark tattoos as well. That glorious cock, bobbing and heavy was all yours. You loved the way he felt inside of you and how perfect it looked hanging between his thighs like it was.

You sat up and got to your knees to adjust yourself and laid a palm on his thigh as you looked at him and licked your lips. He understood your hint as you moved your hand up toward his cock and he looked down at your fingers before placing his hand over yours, “We’ll do that later. Plenty of time to get to all that. I just want to make love to you, Y/n.”

“But you ate me out. I should at least–“

“No. Later,” he got to his knees and pushed you gently back to your bottom, “You don’t understand. I can’t wait one more second to be inside of you. We’ll have plenty of time for that other stuff but I haven’t had sex since in 9 months. If you put your mouth anywhere near my cock it’s gonna make me come too fast. A little out of practice,” he smiled with a small laugh as you laid your back into the mattress and he settled himself between your legs, hips tucking against yours.

You could feel his rigid, girthy cock slide through your labia as he rolled his hips down and up, wetting his shaft, “Want to fuck you now. Okay?”

You moaned and nodded. It was okay by you. You knew there’d be time for blowjobs later so you didn’t mind having him inside your cunt, stuffing you to the brim like you knew he would. There was plenty of time for all that, now that you weren’t going to be running off from him again.

“Want this cock, honey?” He continued rocking his hips. Sliding himself up and down, the tip of his cock collecting your arousal and pushing it up to your clit.

“Yes, Harry. Please.” You bucked upward to catch him at your entrance but he pressed your hip down and grinned at you playfully.

“Love hearing you say please. Such a good girl for me.”

You groaned when he wouldn’t push in right away, still teasing you with the drag of his thick shaft up and down through your labia and against your clit. The sound of it was lewd. Filthy.

“Please fuck me!” You whined.

Harry paused his motions, keeping his eyes on yours as he reared back and took his base in his palm to line himself up to your hole. He kept one hand on the inside of your thigh as he began to press himself inward slowly, the snap of his bulbous head entering you and pushing through your walls was the first act of confirming everything.

Confirming that this was it. That now you were connected and there was no turning back. That all the promises spoken were sealed.

You both kept your eyes pinned on one another as he bottomed out, balls tucked against your ass with a whimper from his mouth and a deep sigh of relief.

He slowly pulled back before inching his way back into the hilt and repeated his languid strokes as your wet pussy blossomed and opened wide for his girth until he was rocking down into you with a force that had your tits bouncing and harsh breaths punching from your lungs.

Harry’s strong abs clenched as his thighs flexed, working into you, exacting strokes deep into your cunt and skin colliding every time you felt the dip of his crown nudging into your tummy.

He sat back to his haunches, knees bent with the back of your thighs draped over the top of his. He watched as he sunk into you and pulled back to his tip, his shaft glistening and coated in you before he thrust back in until you were gasping and reaching for his arms to keep yourself grounded. To remind yourself of who’s cock was fucking you so good.

“Love this pussy, Y/n. You take me so well. So fucking juicy and plush,” he pounded into you, putting everything he had into it, muscles working and pushing him further and further as you bounced upward on the mattress every time he crashed into you.

“Hear that, baby?” Harry used a hand to squeeze at your tit, “Your bed squeaking, your pussy creamy and wet around me, those desperate whimpers from these pretty lips?” He pushed his hand up to your mouth, pressing his thumb to your bottom lip.

You moaned in response and nodded as you stitched your brows together in bliss.

“That’s right. That’s the sound of me fucking you and we’re gonna do it again and again and again. Yeah?” He spoke through clenched teeth.

You nodded, “Fuck! Yes, Harry!” Your words were punched from your lungs as he continued railing ito you, his hips rocking against yours.

Your whole being was lit up. From your racing mind to your tingling skin and toes, the bones that kept you solid, your pumping heart, and your pussy gripping onto Harry’s fat cock as he slid into you, back and forth, bumping through your inside walls into that hard-to-reach little dip that had you breathless.

Every stroke he gave you put you closer and closer to your second orgasm. The delicious emergence and unraveling of your end made you delirious.

When he leaned himself over you he thrust down harshly, pushing your thighs wider apart, the sound gushy and slick as he drove into you. You could feel his cock sliding through your guts and his pelvis grinding against your clit making you quiver.

“Oh my god…” you panted as you reached up for his shoulders where you could feel the taught muscle keeping himself up and aligned as he fucked into you, your back digging into the mattress underneath.

“Yeah? Feels good huh? Told you we fit together perfectly. Pussy deserves to be filled and stuffed every day. Want you to feel so good, baby…”

“It’s so fucking good,” your whimpered words were shaky and breathy.

“I know baby… So good… gonna give it to you every fucking day like this. Make love to you and treat you like a queen. Be so good to you…” his strained words were breathy as he was feeling the heat with you.

His lips pressed into yours and your brain short-circuited as you fell into that hazy, floaty space of ecstasy and need. Need for Harry and his body and his heart. Need for happiness with him. The need to feel happiness with someone you could trust.

When you sucked on his tongue and he rocked into you, keeping his hips smoothe against yours you began to whine and moan as your orgasm approached.

But then Harry stopped. He pulled back from the kiss and looked down at you with that evil grin you’d seen before and you gasped at the loss. You had just been on the cusp of coming.

He quickly pulled out as his own chest was rising and falling rapidly, his cock swayed and you pushed yourself up to see what was happening before he grabbed your sides and rolled you over to your tummy.

“Harry!” You yelped at the sudden maneuver and felt his palm land harshly on your bum. And then again and again. You jumped and crooned out as he issued your ass a handful of spankings to each side and then heard him moan when he kneaded into the meat of your bottom as if he couldn’t get enough of you. You suddenly felt him pushing your legs apart and fitting himself between them as he forced his hard cock back into your wet pussy, his heavy tip pushing past your small opening and you gasped at the suddenness of it all.

You moaned at the relief of finally having him tucked back inside. He slid through you smoothly, his hands holding your ass cheeks apart as he worked himself in over and over. You had your face smushed into the blankets as you sighed.

His hips rocked against your ass and you could feel him swiveling himself in every time his balls pressed into your skin, grounding himself deep through your tummy. The sounds he was making had you grinning. It felt just as good for him. He needed your body for relief. You were happy to let him get whatever he needed from you.

Slow languid strokes of his long cock, splitting you open with every thrust felt so good. It reminded you of how big he really was. How bulky and long his cock was as it disappeared inside of you and nudged its way into your depths.

“Stick your fingers over your clit, Y/n. Go on baby.”

You gurgled a moan and lifted your hips slightly to allow your right hand access to your pussy. And it was more relief. The feel of it all coming together was perfection. His fat cock taking up every inch of your insides, his tip crashing through your guts, the weight of him behind you and fucking you into the mattress, and your fingers on your clit, slipping and pressing…

Harry gave himself a moment to bask in the view of his cock spreading your vagina apart. He dragged a thumb over the spot where he was fucking into you, feeling himself move in and out, watching your pussy wrapped around him, glistening wet until he felt his balls tightening and constricting and your walls clamping down over him.

He could see your hips moving faster as you ground over your hand to get to your orgasm but then he pulled at your hand, moving your fingers away from your clit and you felt his chest against your back and his lips against the shell of your ear as he mumbled something you couldn’t quite hear.

It caught you off guard. The second denial of your orgasm. You angled your neck to try and turn toward him, “Harry, what?”

You felt him press his cock in hard, hips stilling against your ass, his lips pressed over your ear, “Put your fingers back on your clit but don’t move them til I say.”

In confusion, you slid your hand back to your core and he continued, “Good.”

He reared back and then thrust forward again, “Do you want to come, Y/n? Wanna come on my cock?”

You moaned a yes as you secretly slid a finger across your bud making you shiver.

“Then tell me you’re mine. Say you’re mine, Y/n, and I’ll let you come.”

You had no hesitation in telling him just that, “Harry I’m yours. I’m yours…”

“My girl. That’s right. Rub your pussy, baby. Get yourself off,” his breathy words were warm over your ear and neck as you began to slip your fingers back and forth to get you back to that spot that would have you tipping over the edge.

Then you felt Harry shift behind, his chest no longer pressed into your back as he started pounding into you, “Fucking come, baby. You’re mine now…”

You grinned in elation at his words and the way he sounded totally fucked out himself. Much like the way you were feeling. Like he was out of his mind with lust for you.

Every smack of his hips into your bum had you jolting up and you ground down into your hand, rolling your clit over whatever you could reach when you started to feel that melting, unraveling sensation. The electrical charge that made your pussy quiver and your back arch and your vision go white.

“There it is! Fuck!” Harry’s thrusts were harsh but every stroke felt like a sparking and exhilarating charge going through your body. His tip plunged into your cervix and fingers gripped your bottom harshly as you heard him choke out a loud moan.

“Gonna fill you fill you up baby… fuck… stuff you with my come…”

You could hardly hear your bed creaking and clanking as your ears began to ring and you gushed around Harry, your walls spasming and constricting around him tightly.

He moved into you, gliding in and out until finally his balls squeezed and pumped sperm through his cock directly into your wet hole. He stilled his hips as he whimpered a groan, throwing his neck back with his mouth dropped open, his cock throbbing inside of you, coating your walls with his come.

It seemed to last forever. He moaned and twitched, his body connected and pressed into yours as he drained every bit of himself into you. He pressed inward further, stuffing your pussy with his come, making sure every bit of it seeped through your cunt and soaked your insides.

He hadn’t had sex in 9 months. Jerking himself off didn’t do it like the real thing and when it was with you it was even better. The best. He hadn’t come so hard ever in his life he was certain as his body flushed in heat and his heart thudded wildly in his chest when he crumpled over your back, tucking his arms around you and kissing your neck softly.

You moaned quietly at the feel of him on your back. The post-orgasm glow was never so good before. It felt like you were in a different realm of existence, floating and glowing in bliss.

“You’re mine, Y/n?” He wanted reassurance. Which was understandable after the way you handled things the first time around. But this time was going to be different. You two were starting over again. This time with a better understanding of what the other needed, with a better understanding of yourself and what each of you needed to do to be a good partner. Things were different this time.

Harry pushed himself up and looked down at his sensitive cock still inside of you. He drew himself back and watched as his creamy come leaked from your hole and he pressed himself back inside. You felt him pumping himself in and out shallowly and turned your head to look at him. His eyes were glued to your cunt where he was fucking his come back inside of you. A natural urge he couldn’t deny.

When his eyes found yours and he finally pulled himself out, he helped you roll to your side as he laid next to you, his hand on your cheek and you placed your palm on his chest, “I’m yours, Harry. I was back then too I just didn’t realize it. Couldn’t admit it. But I’m yours.”

You both smiled at one another. His eyes were bright and clear and you could trust him. You knew you could. He made you feel so comfortable about yourself. Made you feel like you could make him happy and that he’d want to stick around for you. That he would make you happy in return.

He took your hand and pressed it harder over his chest, “I’m yours too. I was since the day I first met you. I’ve never seen anyone more beautiful, Y/n. And I’m not letting go of you again.”

You grinned and pushed yourself up to his mouth to kiss him. You felt his palm slide down your side and to your bum, as he squeezed you, causing a laugh to puff out from your lips against his.

“Sorry, I love your ass. Feels so good in my hands. Just wanna bite it and stuff my face against it. Can’t help it.”

You rolled your eyes at him still grinning but when he swatted at your bottom your mouth dropped open in surprise.

“Don’t you roll your eyes at me, young lady. When I tell you I love your ass, I fucking mean it.” He gave you another good squeeze to emphasize his words.

So you slid your hand down to his nipple and squeezed at it, “And I love your nipples and these tits,” you laughed.

Harry’s wide grin and dimples were suddenly hidden when he nuzzled his face into your neck and you heard him inhale deeply.

The afterglow with him was something out of a romance novel. It was beautiful and precious. Almost too good to be true.

The sound of a cellphone ringing had both you and Harry lifted out of the sweet moment. He sat up, “It’s me.”

He hopped out of your bed and you watched as he crouched down to his pants where his phone was in his back pocket. His strong back flexing as he pulled it out and then stood up to answer the call.

“Hello?”

You frowned as you watched him disappear into your hallway, still nude. Turning to look at the clock on your side table you noted that it was paste 10 pm. You wondered who was calling at the late hour. Couldn’t have been work. What could be so important that he had to leave your side after he’d just given you the best orgasm of your life?

“I’ll be there! I’m booking a flight as soon as I get off the phone. Yes..”

You could hear him pacing and talking. You picked up most of what he said as you sat silently on your bed waiting for him to return and explain himself.

“I missed you too. I can’t wait to finally meet her. I know. Me too.”

You slid off your bed and pulled a t-shirt from your drawer to put it over your body as he ended the call with an I love you.

Harry walked back into your room with a huge grin, “My sister just had her baby!”

You smiled at him widely as he took three long-legged steps toward you, his cock swaying as he was still completely naked before he wrapped you in a tight hug, “Today is like the best day I’ve ever had. First you,” he kissed your cheek, “Now my sister...”

You laughed when he twirled around with you and then he let go, a sudden look of realization on his face, “Come with me to London. I want everyone to meet you!”

You blinked your eyes and stuttered your words, “Are you serious?”

He grabbed your hands, “Dead serious. Come with me. It’s not like you have to ask off for work. We can go for a couple of weeks. God, it’d be so fun, Y/n. Me and you… My mom’s going to love you.”

Your head was spinning from everything that had happened that day. From the moment Harry walked into that room at the gallery to now having him standing naked in your bedroom asking you to take a trip with him to see his family and his sister’s new baby. But, spinning or not, there was no part of you that would turn down the offer.

“That sounds amazing. I’d love to, Harry.”

He pulled you in for another hug and pressed his face into your neck, “This is going to be so good, Y/n.”

You laughed as he squeezed you tight and then his hands cupped your cheeks, “Now, let’s get you cleaned up, and then we’ll book our flights. Yeah?”

You nodded as your cheeks burned hot when he pressed his mouth to yours again.

It was a funny thing to you. That the first time you had sex with Harry the post-orgasm afterglow was interrupted by a phone call. And this time another phone call had broken the moment too. Except things were not the same as they were then. Now you knew who Harry was. You trusted him and this time everything was going to be different.

A/N: Hope you enjoyed this!! xoxo

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starcrossedxwriter · 9 months

Text

Wicked Fantasies Part 2 (MBJ x OC)

Warnings: noneeeee

“You fuckin’ idiot!” Alex seethed, the clicks of her heels reverberated throughout Michael’s living room as she stalked, TMZ playing loudly in the background. “What part of ‘cleaning up the image’ was difficult to understand?”

Michael gripped the back of his chair in his office in frustration. It was not just the shitty situation he found himself in when he woke up this morning, it was also his manager’s attitude. However, he did not correct Alex. He had been working with her for most of his career and the reason Alex had lasted this long was that she was unafraid of calling Michael a ‘fucking idiot’ if he was acting like one.

“Why didn’t you just call the ambulance and then wait to leave? Did you need to do the walk of shame across the hotel lobby with her??”

Michael scoffed. “If you think I’m that type of nigga, you really don’t know me. She was unconscious. How was I supposed to know there were fuckin’ cameras in the lobby??”

Alex threw his hands up in the air. “Because it’s 2022 at the fucking St. Regis! There’re cameras every fuckin’ where! Do you think I have you go in back doors and service elevators for fucking fun??? Because it is easier??? Why do you insist on making my job harder?? Do you hate me or something? We’re on the biggest run of your fucking career. And you jeopardize it for some pussy?”

Michael’s fingers massaged his temples. He had not gotten a single break in the last three days. He felt like he was stuck in the deepest circle of hell since he drove off from Raven’s apartment days prior. Every moment of his day was consumed with one thought, one singular person: Raven. What was she doing? How was she healing? Did she come up with the money she needed? Should he write her a check and drop it off anonymously? Would she even accept that or appreciate it? Question after question ran through his brain regardless of how hard he tried to excommunicate her from it. She was stuck to him like super glue. He replayed their one night together over and over again, jerking off on more than one occasion dreaming of the things he wished to do to her body. So many disgusting and filthy things.

This disgusting pining lasted for two days before he gave in, last night, and called Helen to schedule another date with her. And it was not even about the sex. She had a concussion so he would not feel comfortable fucking even if she was up for it. He just wanted to see her, check in on her. And that terrified him. Never had a one-night stand or woman he paid to sleep with captured his mind quite like this. He loved fucking Tasha but he did not pine for her or even really think about her outside when he was horny and needed release. But Raven… she was something he had never experienced before. And he hated it. So in a split second decision, he booked Tasha instead, in hopes that fucking another woman would get her out of his mind once and for all. And it worked for a moment. The few hours of sleep he got after leaving Tasha was the first Raven-free sleep he had gotten until he woke up to his face plastered all over TMZ as he followed the EMTs wheeling her out of the hotel.

The angle of the camera blocked her face, thankfully, but there was no mistaking him. The media ran with their own stories, some neutral and some speculating things Michael would never have dreamed of. It was a PR nightmare, which is why his manager was at his house to do damage control. However, Michael did not particularly care about his own reputation. He just worried if there was another angle with Raven’s face visible. He was used to being in the press, often for being attached to different random women, but Raven did not seem like the type who would enjoy such attention. And he did not even have her number to call and satisfy the small part of him that wanted to check in on her. The part of him he despised.

“Are you even listening to me??” Alex called out, ending her rant to realize Michael’s mind was clearly elsewhere.

Michael straightened up and pushed Raven out of his head for a moment, a true feat.

“My bad. Look, I didn’t jeopardize anything. You can’t even see her face! Besides, no matter what the press says, everyone loves me, we’re good.”

Alex shook her head. “That isn’t the point. You don’t think they won’t try to figure out who this girl is?? Try to piece together some story about something nefarious or terrible that happened? You were seen leaving a hotel with an unconscious woman… there are only a couple ways I can spin this shit that it doesn’t look bad for you. And just so you’re clear, people want to fuck you. They don’t love you. At best, people think you’re neutral and at worst, they think you’re an asshole. The only thing they all agree on is that you’re one of those things with extreme talent, a cute face and award-winning smile. So they ignore that ambiguity because because every woman and some men want to fuck you.”

Michael walked over to his decanter, pouring himself a glass of whiskey. He did not care that it was 10 am, it was 5 pm somewhere in the world, he supposed.

“And now you’re drinking at 10 a.m. Should I add a stint in rehab to my list of things to spin this week?”

Michael chose to ignore that dig. “You made your point, Alexandra. I’m sorry. I’m an ass,” he admitted, which he knew was true. He would never win an award for sweetest personality. “So what can we do? What are the ways we can spin it?”

She shrugged. “Well, the truth would be fine… embarrassing but unproblematic IF she wasn’t a prostitute. I’m all for the girls getting their money but now really isn’t the time in our culture for you to be attached to a prostitute.”

“It’s 2022, who cares if I pay for sex?”

“I think people care if you paid for sex and it was so rough you sent her to the damn hospital, Mike. That’s what people would care about. And then it’s a whole other thing… did she want it that rough, did she know it would be that rough, did she consent to whatever caused the accident? And the answer to all of those could be yes and we could say that but without her word, it’s murky as fuck. And then it begs reporters to ask the question, are there women with sorted tales of rough sex with Hollywood’s favorite movie star that they didn’t want even if this one was consensual? Also I don’t necessarily think it’s a good time to admit to the world that you pay for sex damn near every week.”

“Plenty of men pay for sex, Alex.”

“Sure and that’s fine. But people judge them too. When you’re handsome and could just be in a relationship. Look, I’m not judging but it sends a certain playboy, unattached message. And that shit was fine when you were 30 but we’re pushing 40. And you’re the one that said when Creed 3 comes out next year, you want to take the jump to directing more. Producers, studios need to see you as a serious person to take you seriously as a director. Denzel is serious, George Clooney is serious, John Krasinki is serious, Kevin Costner is serious. And studios trust them with projects because they are serious people! You know what all those men have in common?? They are settled, family men with beautiful wives who are kick ass in their own right and they DON’T frequent prostitutes! Or if they do, we don’t fucking know it because they aren’t plastered on TMZ. Look, I say this with all the love in the world for you… but you’re the definition of an unserious person and I need you to get serious before you’re a fucking 45, washed up actor wasting his incredible talent playin’ the same role in every action movie because no one takes you seriously.”

Michael nodded. “I hear you. And I understand. I promised I’d clean it up and I slipped. But we can fix this… we always do. If the truth works, why don’t we just say that-”

“Did you listen to anything I just said?” Alex immediately started to say before Michael cut her off.

“With a minor lie… We say it was my girlfriend. We were enjoying a night after partying, had sex, fell off the bed, she hit her head, I took her to the hospital out of an abundance of caution. And we turn it back on the media and say they infringed on a private moment between us by turning a health emergency into a public spectacle.”

Alex rubbed her forehead. “Thank God you are attractive,” she muttered to herself. “I mean in theory, that’s the ideal play but there’s one major flaw in that plan, you’re tragically single. Like I’ve known you for a decade and you’ve never even been romantically tied with a woman for more than a night. I can’t sell a girlfriend that doesn’t exist anymore than I can sell magic at Hogwarts. And there’s no woman that we could pass off as this girl in time. ”

“What if we say it’s Raven… the actual girl?” The words slipped out of his mouth before he could stop himself. There were flaws in the plan, he could recognize that. But he wanted to see her again and this might be his only option to do so.

“I’m all for a PR relationship, don’t get me wrong. They can be successful. But it won’t help you if and when one of her old clients comes out later and tells the world she was a prostitute. Then we are back where we started but worse because everyone knows you were in a fake relationship.”

Michael shook his head. “Nah, nah, she’s perfect. I was her first real date so there are no clients to come out to say shit. Helen is hella strict with her girls, no press, so if I had to guess, she’s gonna fire her,” though the thought frustrated him as she did nothing wrong. “So there’ll be no record of her working for an agency. We can say we were tryin’ to keep it under wraps because she isn’t used to the spotlight. I haven’t been seen with a fling in months so we can say it’s fairly new. Besides, if there’s a camera with an angle on her face, it covers our asses.”

Michael did not want to admit why he was fighting so hard to enter into a fake relationship with Raven. Did not want to admit it to Alex or himself. This was a dangerous plan, he knew it. There were so many reasons it was foolish and would fall apart. But he did not care about a single one of those reasons. He reasoned that this was a logical course of action. She was probably the best person to enter a fake relationship with too. She understood how to put on a show and what she was being paid for and knew that no feelings would be involved. This would be a mere business transaction, he would get her and his own feelings out of his system, and everyone would be happy.

“It… could work,” she admitted. “But you’d have to keep up a public relationship with all the fixings for at least six months to sell it. You’d have to do everything I say, NO more visits with Tasha or any other woman. We’d need to get through the premiere of your current film next month, the holidays, the Creed premiere, nominations, and the Oscars in March before you could break it off. Would she even agree to that? Most of these relationships work because it’s mutually beneficial. You know another celebrity who could use the PR bump. What would even be in it for her?”

“Let me worry about that, aight? Just trust me. I messed up, let me fix it this time. My first step as a serious person.” He flashed her his award winning smile, which made Alex laugh.

“You realize I am the only woman on the planet that shit doesn’t work on?”

He shrugged. “You’ve stuck by me this long… I think it works on you too,” he winked at her.

“Barely,” she mumbled. She stared at him for a moment before surrendering to his plan. She did not really have a better one at the moment. “Fine. I can give you 12 hours to convince her. We need to get a statement out tomorrow morning. Fix this, Mike.”

“Consider it already fixed,” he vowed, determined to clean up his own image and get what he wanted in the process.

***

“Helen, please! I need this job!”

“And I can’t have my girls plastered across Page Six and TMZ. Press brings attention I don’t need.”

“You can’t even see my face!” Raven argued. “No one knows it’s me. Please don’t do this.”

She knew Helen could hear her pleas but she also knew the woman did not care. “Honey, the internet will figure out who you are like that,” Raven could hear the faint snap of fingers through her phone. “And I can’t have you on my roster when they do. I told you if it went left, you were out. Gotta cut you loose.”

“B-” The phone cut out as Helen hung up on her, clearly exhausted from arguing when there was no changing her mind.

Raven slid back into bed and tried to keep the tears from falling. Not out of pride this time, she was alone with no one to hear her sobs. But she knew crying would only make the dull pain in her head worse. She tried to hold it in until it became difficult to breath, small gasps filling her quiet bedroom. She grabbed her pillow and forced it over her face to muffle them as they turned into all out sobs.

Helen was right, the internet would realize who she was in no time. And then her life would truly be over. She’d never get a job anywhere ever again, she’d likely lose the day job she had right now. She shuddered to think what her family would say. Likely, it would give her father the excuse he always wanted to toss her out of their lives for good, but part of her felt like that might have been the one silver lining to everything. And before that shoe dropped, she would have to figure out the larger looming financial problems barreling toward her. While her bills were just barely covered with her job and residuals, she had not come up with the rest of the money she promised her family and her only way of making fast cash was gone. .

She just needed a break, a break from the stress of life. The last 18 months had been hell and she just felt like she was dragging around a weight that only got heavier and heavier. But if she stopped or put it down, everything would crumble. She was exhausted and worn out. She curled up in her bed, crying to herself, praying God would send something to help her and fast.

***

Michael knocked at the door of Raven’s apartment. If he hadn’t been there a mere three days prior, he would’ve been convinced his driver took him to the wrong address. He teetered on his heels for a moment or two until the door swung open.

“Hello?” The young woman, a cute curly-haired light skin girl, opened the door. “Oh umm can I help you?”

Michael could tell she recognized him, however, he gave her kudos for not completely melting and losing all common sense like most women do when they saw him.

“Hi, I have the right building but I might have the wrong apartment,” he admitted. “Looking for Raven?”

“Oh yea, she’s in her room. Come in. She’s a bit under the weather though… not sure if she’s up for company,” she gave him an apologetic shrug before calling out for Raven. “Rae!”

Michael glanced around their small apartment. Though the building and neighborhood left a lot to be desired in his opinion, their apartment was a cute two bedroom. Fairly small, he decided, for two people, but it was quaint. His eyes went to the floor to ceiling bookshelf tucked in the corner. It was clear someone had started off extremely meticulous and organized with it, each row perfectly color coordinated. However, the person had acquired too many books to maintain that level of organization, many sat in neat stacks on the floor in front of the bookshelf, growing so tall, they obscured the bottom shelf.

“That girl consumes books like they’re air,” her roommate remarked, following Michael’s line of sight to the bookshelf.

He did not even get to acknowledge her statement when one of the closed doors off the living room opened.

Raven emerged, her eyes red and puffy, all of her curly hair piled on top of her head with a bright colored scarf.

“What’s up Tiff?” Her words were punctured by sniffles, which let Michael know she had been crying.

An inexplicable wave of concern hit him. He could guess what had caused it and immediately felt guilty, an emotion he rarely felt about anything.

“You have a visitor?”

Raven glanced up, almost jumping when she realized Michael B. Jordan was standing in her living room. He watched as she hastily wiped her eyes and glanced down at her disheveled appearance. She still looked insanely beautiful, even in an oversized sweatshirt and leggings.

“Umm.. h-hi. T-thanks, Tiff. W-what are you doing here?”

“You two know each other?”

“Yea we met the other night… at that party…” She shook her head quietly as Michael started to open his mouth. “Umm wanna talk in my room?” She gestured toward her bedroom, Michael nodding as he followed her.

“Nice to meet you,” he threw over his shoulder to Tiffany as he followed Raven back into her room. Her face was neutral as she ushered him inside and shut the door behind him.

She had never been more displeased to see anyone in her life. Her date with him was supposed to be her big break and all it did was send her tumbling back to the bottom again. She was not mad at him, he had done nothing wrong. But between her concussion and the inability to stop thinking about him for the last three days and now losing her job, it was all too much to handle. And she knew he only came down there to talk about the photo and ensure she was not going to say anything to the media.

“What are you doing here? In case you were confused, this counts as creepy stalker shit! Like right up there at the top of the list!”

Michael was not expecting her visceral reaction to him, one of anger. However, he did not let it deter him.

“I needed to talk to you.”

“About the photo?” she rushed out, just wanting to get him out of her room so she could go back to wallowing. “Look, you wasted a trip. I already lost my job so if they figure out it was me, it’ll just look like a one-night stand. And I don’t plan on selling our wild night together to a magazine or anything if that’s what you’re worried about. That wouldn’t be fair to you.” She walked over to her bed and plopped down. “So whatever you came to offer me to keep me quiet about your kinks and what happened, keep it. And if you want me to sign something, whatever, that’s fine. Just hand it over so we can get this over with.”

He wrinkled his nose in offense at the assumption that he was there to pay her off. While he did have a certain “playboy, bad boy” image, he would have hoped he did not give off the vibe that he wanted to buy her silence. He knew it happened but it was not his style.

“That wasn’t what I came by to talk about at all. I do wanna talk about the photo but first, I just wanted to see how you were doing? I didn’t have your number and wanted to check on you. You got a concussion and then the leak… you were already stressed at the hospital, figured this didn’t make shit easier. Thought you could use a friendly face that knows what’s goin’ on?”

Her expression softened. She had not expected that. Nor had she expected him to so accurately determine what she needed. It had been a hard day with this looming secret and no one to talk to without outing herself. Tiffany was a good friend but she would not agree with how Raven chose to make extra money.

“O-Oh… umm… t-thank you. That’s r-really sweet. S-sorry for assuming the worst. I just figured you…” she stopped herself. “Never mind. I’m fine, or at least I will be. Head hurts less. Few more days, I’ll be healed a-and I’ll figure out the rest. Or just wait for my life to implode,” she grimaced.

He stared at her. “You’ve been cryin’.” His eyes scanned the waste basket by the desk, which was overflowing with tissues and the ones that littered her soft rose and cream colored comforter. “A lot for just a few hours. You can be honest with me.”

She rubbed her eyes, trying to stop more from falling. “J-Just been a rough year and a half or so, rough life,” she whispered. “I take a step in the right direction and get knocked five back.” She cleared her throat before shaking her head, her body language telling Michael everything he needed to know. All he saw was exhaustion, exhaustion that clung to the bones and never let go, exhaustion so painful it was difficult to even admit it to yourself for fear of giving into it. “But it’ll turn around. So I’m good, I’m good,” she assured him. He could not tell if those words were more for him or herself.

She stared at him for a few moments, feeling the awkwardness of having a movie star in her small cluttered bedroom. “That it?”

“Um no, actually. I might have a solution to both of our problems… if you’re interested.”

She laughed and shook her head, laying back down on her bed so she could rest her head. He had already seen her in the hospital, she figured he could deal with watching her lay down.

“Unless you have a job for me, I don’t really know how you can help me.”

“Well actually… I do. It’s not a traditional job or some shit but it'll be worth it. Be my girlfriend for the next six months.”

He said the words so casually and easily, Raven would have thought he was asking her to be his dog walker. She immediately sat up, her eyes bugging out of her head.

“What??”

He stuffed his hands in his jacket pockets. “My movie is coming out next month and my directorial debut is next year. The role is already getting buzz for award season. But my team thinks I need to change up my public image ahead of the promo and seem like a more serious person.” She wanted to laugh at his use of air quotes around ‘serious.’ “The photo didn’t really help and if it comes out that you were hired, it just won’t be a good look. So you pretend to be my girl for six months, get me through the premiere, the holidays and award season. Then we can go our separate ways.”

Raven could only stare at him blankly, shocked at the words coming out of his mouth. She thought this sort of thing only happened in tv shows and in the lines of spicy romance novels. But here, a rich man stood trying to “Pretty Woman” her.

What the fuck is my life right now??

At her continued silence, Michael added, “You wouldn’t need to see me every day or anything and I’d pay you your rate with Helen for every date. My stylist would get all your clothes and outfits for the events so you wouldn’t need to worry about that.”

Admittedly, as a new girl, her rate was not as high as Tasha’s, she just got lucky taking a date from her. But even still, she knew that she would make a hefty chunk of change by the time the endeavor was over. Though she found the proposition insane, she would have been a fool not to ponder it. He promised a hell of a lot of money for six months of work. One major question trampled over all the other more logical and logistical ones, falling from her lips without a thought.

“Why me?”

Michael had hoped she would not ask this question. He did not have a good answer. It would’ve been better, likely, to attach himself to an actual celebrity. But Raven was the more authentic choice. However, there was also the underlying reason he even suggested it in the first place and it had nothing to do with logic.

“My team wants to spin the other night as the media infringed on a private moment between me and my girlfriend. It being you is the most plausible option in case someone got a photo of your face.”

Raven studied him for a moment. “That's the only reason?”

“Yea. What else would it be?” He offered, his tone short to avoid any further questioning on the matter. He could tell it did the trick, though it bothered him to see the hurt flash across her face. However, she recovered quickly.

“Of course,” she muttered. “So what would it entail?” She gestured toward the chair at her desk for him to sit.

Her room was incredibly neat for someone who spent the last week in bed. More books were neatly stacked in nooks and crannies across the space but her desk was immaculate. His eyes locked in on a poster above the desk, a Toni Morrison quote written across it.

“If there’s a book that you want to read, but it hasn’t been written yet, then you must write it.” - Toni Morrison

“Damn, how many books you got around here, girl?”

She laughed, “Far too many to count. I have more… a whole collection back home at my dad’s. These are just the ones from my master’s and since I moved here.”

“How many books you read in a year?”

“I average about a book or two a week… some are shorter, some are longer.”

“How do you find the time for that?” Michael was amazed. He had hobbies but he never had time to actually pursue them.

“Reading is my job and my hobby,” she shrugged. “But you didn’t come all this way for that. So playing your girlfriend, what would it entail?” While she appreciated his interest in her hobbies and life, she did not want him to be interested in those things. Questions, trying to get to know her, implied something that she knew could not be there or be true. This was work and she did not need to add anymore fuel to the brewing idea that he cared for her beyond their business transactions.

“We just gotta appear like we’re dating. Dates when I'm in town, I go to an event or two a week but you probably ain’t gotta go to all of them. A couple instagram posts and shit like that to sell it.”

That did not sound terrible. She did not know if she wanted or was interested in the public scrutiny but even she could not deny that he was offering her a damn sweet deal. “Sex? Or would you continue to see Tasha?”

“If you don’t want it to be, it doesn’t have to be. I wouldn’t see Tasha unless I can do it discreetly. But my manager would probably kill me. It would be easier on everyone if it was. Less opportunities for anyone to slip up. We had a good time, right? Besides, I still have a few things I wanted to do to you before our night got cut short.” He winked at her.

Raven hated how cocky he was. He knew damn well she had the time of her life with him. But she refused to admit that she had been fiending for him like he was a highly-addictive drug since she last saw him.

“I’d be amenable to that as long as no tables are involved.”

“What if they’re bolted to the ground?” he teased. Though it ended poorly, he still thought about how that position felt, and could still hear her screams of ecstasy in his ears. They would most certainly be doing it again even if he had to bolt every table in his home to the floor himself.

Her lips curled into the first genuine smile since he dropped her off three days prior at his joke.

“I’d be open to that.”

“So we have a deal?”

She watched him, he seemed almost nervous. As if he was worried she would reject him, as if any woman with eyes and a brain had ever done that, she thought to herself. And even though every cell in her brain screamed that this was the worst idea possible and would end horribly, she could not find that reason enough to reject his proposal. Instead, she said, “Y-You know this is crazy right? These fake relationships and shit, people see right through them.”

“Maybe, but it’s worth a try, right?”

“You know I thought this type of shit only happened in books… you’d rather pay me to pretend to love you than actually find a woman who does and build something real with her? I mean don’t you want a serious relationship and love and all that at some point?”

He shook his head. “No, I don’t.” he answered shortly. “And even if I did, I ain’t got time to find it. Look, we both got immediate problems and this is an immediate solution. Besides a few months with me and you’ll make money… influencer shit, find another rich guy, whatever. But if you aren’t interested, all good. I’ll get outta your hair. I just thought we could help each other?”

Raven studied him for a moment before nodding. The reality was he was right. She had immediate problems that his money could solve. And regardless of what she thought of his choice to go down this path, it was a job and no different than what she did three nights prior.

“We… have a deal. There are worse jobs, I suppose.”

***

“No! Absolutely not. I’m not moving out of my place.”

Michael scoffed, confused as to why Raven was insistent on fighting him on this specific point when he thought it was the most generous part of the deal. She had agreed to literally everything else with ease but the apartment was the first time he heard her pushback in the last hour. “You know most women in your position wouldn’t argue with a nigga tryin’ to give them a free spot for six months. Besides, I looked up the crime statistics in that neighborhood -”

“You know you aren’t really disputing the stalker allegations at all, right?” She did not understand why he would even care where she lived.

“Just doing my due diligence,” he offered lamely. “And it’s dangerous as fuck. Why you even live there? Someone like you ain’t built for those neighborhoods.”

She sucked her teeth in annoyance. “It’s a true community, one of the last left in LA I imagine. Far more of a community than what you have with your neighbors in this high rise,” she gestured around him at his condo downtown where they were meeting, “Or in your mansion in the valley. It’s affordable and just because it doesn’t look the best or bad shit happens - which happens everywhere in LA - doesn’t mean it’s a bad neighborhood. I know every family on my block and almost every single one in the neighborhood. And everyone knows me and everyone helps each other out. Besides, it’s close to work.”

He let out a chuckle. “None of Helen’s clients live or would step foot in that neighborhood.”

She rolled her eyes. “I have a day job… I work at the library a couple streets from my place.”

He raised an eyebrow. He supposed it was not that shocking even the mini library of books she had at her apartment. However, he had not stepped foot in a library since he was a kid. And none of the librarians in Newark looked like her.

“Maybe I would’ve stayed in school longer if the librarians looked like you.” His voice was playful and teasing. “That can’t pay a lot?”

“It's a public service so of course not. Hence my very cheap rent and moonlighting job as a prostitute.” She grabbed her glass of water from the coffee table and leaned back into the couch. “But it’s fun. And gives me a lot of time to read and write on my shifts when things are quiet. And I started some fun initiatives and stuff since I started last year. Anyway, the point is, I don’t need a new fancy apartment down here. I like my space. Why do you even care?"

This part was harder than she thought, ironing out the logistics of their new arrangement. Michael had invited her to his spot downtown, a condo he stayed in when he had late nights in the city. She just figured they would be going with the flow of things. But here they were, debating how many events a week she would need to accompany him to and where she would stay. He kept offering her extravagant things that she quickly turned down.

“I don't," he answered shortly. Or least, he knew he shouldn't. He tried to cover it up, but even he knew his cover stories were lame. "My manager just thought it would look more legit. But if you don't wanna move, fine. You should stay here a couple nights a week then. There's always cameras around here, they need to see you comin' and goin' like a girlfriend would. This can be where we stay after dates and shit. My team will fill the spare closet with new clothes.”

“Fine. And new clothes? What’s wrong with my clothes?”

He sighed. “There’s nothing wrong with your clothes as an everyday thing but you should look like your boyfriend is… well, me. And that means an… elevated take on your current style.”

She rolled her eyes. “As long as I don’t have to change my whole style, fine. And look, everything you’re offering is nice but feels excessive. All I care about is keeping my life and reputation and stacking enough money to put myself in a better position. If there’s an event you need me to come to or something you need me to do to sell it, just text me and I’ll do it. You’re paying me to do a job so I don’t really need anything else from you, whether it’s an apartment or a closet full of designer clothes. I’m not trying to milk this arrangement for all it’s worth or steal from you. You’re paying for my time on dates and for sex, that’s all I expect.”

Michael studied her for a moment. He was hoping she would have arrived at this meeting with demands and extravagant desires but she did not seem to care. She was willing to do everything he asked and wanted nothing but the money he promised in return. No extras, no frills, no anything. It was the exact opposite of what he expected from her. And he knew it should’ve made him happy. This would be the most straight-forward business deal he negotiated in years. However, something about it bothered him. He knew it shouldn't. He knew the words about to leave his mouth were dangerous. After all what business partner cared if the other person was short changing themselves when it benefited them? He knew he should not care but here he was… going against all the voices in his head that screamed that at him.

“Are you always this amenable? To everyone?”

She wrinkled her nose. “I’m just not selfish. You act like it’s a bad thing?”

“It is if you let people run all over you. Being amenable is why you paid some portion of $10k to bail someone out of jail when it was clear you didn’t have it.”

She cut her eyes, sending him a glare that was so unlike her, it was unnerving. “That is none of your business.” He had never heard such sharpness in her voice, quickly realizing he had struck a chord and not a good one.

“My bad,” he raised his hands in surrender. “I just… it isn’t selfish to demand what you want too, to ensure a situation favors you just as much as the other person. So if down the road, you realize there’s something you want out of this, aside from the money, just name it. Business transactions are not about just getting the bare minimum of what you need… you’re allowed to get the things you just want too.”

Her heart somehow both inflated and sagged at his words. There he was again, seemingly caring about her beyond the parameters of their relationship. And she could not deny that she liked it, the idea that someone cared about what she wanted, not what she could do for them. But she did not let herself bask in it for too long. Because there was so much Raven wanted in this life, so much she wanted from Michael, but she knew she could not have any of those things and he could not give them to her.

“Last thing, sex.”

She stared at him, confused. “I thought we agreed that we were having it?”

He laughed. “Yea we did. We can keep it to nights when you’re already working so it’s easier. And any other nights, I’ll pay you so don’t worry about that. But if we’re gonna keep doing what we did the other night, I’d like to make sure we have ground rules.”

“Ground rules?”

“Like what are your hard limits? Lines I shouldn’t cross?”

“You spanked me and called me names… hardly need rules for that.” She waved her hand to dismiss him. “We’re good. Just do what you want.”

Michael merely laughed and stood up. He continued chewing on the toothpick he had between his teeth while he stretched one hand out for her to take.

“Come with me.”

He led her through the apartment, down the hall to the largest bedroom. She took the quick journey to study the apartment, shocked at how sterile it felt. It could’ve been an AirBnB, furnishings as generic as the ones she could pick up from Target. Though she knew his were far more expensive. She wondered what his other home looked like, this was clearly just a bachelor pad. But she had not spotted a single family photo or anything of note in the entire place. It was beautiful, just… cold.

Michael turned on the light and led her to the middle of the room. He stood behind her and used his hand to move her kinks to the other side of her neck before resting his hands on her hips.

“That bed has about six different ways for me to restrain you. The different configurations allow me to put you in any position I want and you can’t move. So much shit I can do with that.. My favorite thing is,” he lowered his voice and leaned in to whisper in her ear, not shocked at how her body stiffened slightly and her breathing skipped. “To tie your arms and legs to the bed and leave you there with a vibrator. See how long it takes you to beg me to cum. Most don’t last long.”

“Have you ever heard of shibari?”

She nodded. At his silence, she immediately corrected herself.

“Y-Yes.”

“Good girl. Ever tried it?”

“No but I’d be open to it.”

“I learned on my first trip to Japan, been studying ever since. Gotten pretty good at it.” A single finger traced intricate patterns across her skin as if he were envisioning exactly where those ropes would go on her skin. He had barely touched her and her panties were already soaked. “This ceiling fixture,” he gestured up to it above their heads. “Is rigged to hold 300 pounds. I can already imagine you suspended from there while I fuck you. You’d like that?” He stepped around to face her, smiling at the way her eyes darkened and her nipples pebbled beneath her thin shirt.

“I-I think so,” she whispered. His fingers returned to her body, now lazily grazing the bare skin of her thighs, inching the fabric of her skirt higher and higher.

“That bench,” he jerked his head to the side, her eyes falling on a nondescript black cushioned bench at the foot of the bed. It was tall, taller than the average bench, which let her know it was not made for sitting. “Is the perfect height for me to spank you if you disobey me, which judging from the other night, I’m sure will be often. I already know you’d like that though, right?”

His hand squeezed her ass as he leaned in and sucked on her neck. Her body fell forward and rested against his, giving into the tantalizing pleasure he was providing. She was embarrassed by the breathy moan she let out but could do nothing to stop it.

“I asked you a question,” he reminded her.

However, Raven felt as if she no longer had a voice let alone coherent thoughts to offer him and answer his questions. She did not understand how he had this effect on her, how she was so willing to surrender to his every whim. But she was, everything he said ignited the most impure and wicked fantasies in her mind. She pictured his words and more so clearly, they might as well have been watching a porno.

“Y-Yes, I w-would,” she offered through gritted teeth, desperate to hold onto some amount of decency.

“And that chaise is perfect for any and every position I could ever want you in. And the mirror lets you watch yourself while I fuck you. Oh and I’m gettin’ a swing installed next week. Perfecting timing. And that chest over there,” her eyes went to the last thing of note in the room besides his other standard furniture. “Well, I’m waiting for everything to come in but by Friday, it’ll be filled with brand new floggers, nipple clamps, gags, vibrators, plugs, and a leash since you enjoyed crawling to me so much.”

If it were possible, her face would have flushed with red at his words.

“How do you know I enjoyed it?” She tried to sound defiant but she knew it was weak.

He smirked. “Cause if I told you to drop to your knees and follow me around this apartment for hours, I’d bet my life you’d do it without a second thought.”

She was thankful he did not phrase it as a question so she was not forced to answer him. The truth was, she would. She would do anything he told her.

“So, I have a lot more than some colorful names and a spanking in mind if sex is part of this arrangement. This really ain’t the thing you want to be amenable to without thought. Tell me what you want and don’t want. Because when we step in here, I expect you to surrender. And that requires trust that I know your limits and won’t cross them.”

He took a step back from her, his body reeling from how badly he wanted to fuck her. And how badly she clearly wanted him to. But as badly as he wanted her, he vowed that he would only see their time together as a transaction. They went on a date and had sex, he paid her. And that meant, he could not give into his every sexual whim or thought. Otherwise, he would be fucking her every day and they’d never leave this room. And there was no way he’d survive the six months like that.

“You also don’t have to tell me today, either. Just think about it.”

She nodded, she really did not want to think about it. Not because he was wrong but because she did not want to think or admit all the things she desperately wanted him to do to her.

Her phone buzzing pulled her out of the trance he had her in. Thank God, she thought to herself as she read the alarm on her phone. “Oh shoot, I better head home. I… host a book club on Wednesday evenings at the library.”

“I’ll walk you out.”

Raven was thankful to escape his bedroom, it was a danger zone for her and her thoughts.

“So um… you have my number w-when you’re ready for a date. J-just give me advanced notice, if you can? You know if I need to adjust my work hours or something.”

“How about Saturday evening? My team released the statement this morning and it's getting good play apparently so it’ll be good for us to post a picture or be seen out and about this weekend. We can start small with dinner, ease you into the spotlight.”

“Sounds good. Just text me what I need to wear.”

“Don’t worry about that. They’ll pull an outfit and send it over to you.”

“You sure? You really don’t have to,” she started to say before he cut her off.

“It’s easier cause they’ll coordinate the look and make sure it looks good for photos. Don’t worry about it.”

She made her way to the private elevator and hit the lobby button.

Michael reached in and hit the P button. “Elevator will take you straight to the car, driver will meet you in the garage.”

“Have him meet me out front. You said there’s always a paparazzi or two lurking around. Maybe they’ll catch me leaving?”

He raised an eyebrow, impressed. “You sure this is your first fake relationship? Already acting like a pro.”

She laughed and shook her head. “No, I just want to make sure you get all the bang for your buck. I like to excel at every job I have… would hate for you to leave me a bad review with the fake girlfriend's business bureau.”

“Don’t see that happenin’ at all.”

She thought the smolder was merely something actors did in movies. But here he was, smoldering and it made her want to rip her clothes off in the middle of his elevator and demand he fuck her. But she couldn’t. Self control. This was a transaction and she could not give into her desires outside the realm of payment. That would be dangerous.

She cleared her throat, forcing her feet to take a step back into the elevator. “Ok, see you Saturday,” she offered awkwardly.

However, before the doors fully closed, she stopped them.

“Tying up is fine, just want a nonverbal cue if you’re gonna gag me and I can’t speak. I like pain but my pain tolerance isn’t that high so there’s a limit on what I can take. So if you’re like a sadist or something, we can go ahead and dead this. Oh and no bodily fluids aside from the ones that are naturally involved in sex, don’t make me explain what I mean… the stories I’ve heard,” she shuddered, causing Michael to laugh. “No hitting except spanking, of course. Choking is fine. And no threesomes or other people. Oh and I’m fine with no condoms, if we’re exclusive and you get tested for STIs and bring the results with you on Saturday. I will get one too. Oh and make sure the collar is padded or lined with something for my neck,” she clarified. “That’s all I can think of. I am willing to try anything else once and I’ll use the safe word if I don’t like it. How do those rules sound to you?”

“That’s it?” Her list was perfect, aligned to his own personal limits fairly well. He would’ve expected more for someone so green.

Raven seemed to pick up on his shock causing her to laugh. “I know the vibe I give off,” she admitted. “And I am all those things… innocent and straight laced. But you aren’t the only one with fantasies. You told me to get what I needed and I wanted. … I need the money and I want an escape from my reality, total surrender and escape with someone I trust to explore those fantasies with. And right now, that’s you.”

He did a small double take at her words. “You trust me already? You don’t even know me.”

She shrugged, for some reason, she felt as if that was not true. On some level, she did know him. Or at least, a piece of him. And that felt like enough… at least for now.

“I think I know enough. See you Saturday,” she smiled with a small wave, the elevator doors finally closing to take her to the lobby.

Michael stood there in his living room, slightly dumbfounded.

“This girl…” he whispered. He was already cursing himself for this ill conceived plan. He knew, at that very moment, he did not have the willpower to keep his feelings at bay for six months. The only question now was, how long would he last?

Tag List: @readinghere2023 @blackerthings @prettyisasprettydoes1306 @physicxal @purplehairgawdess @miyuhpapayuh @rueruesclues @geemamii @certifiedlesbianbaddie @pipsqueak-98 @nyifly22 @twocentaur @gopaperless @musicisme333 @roguekiki @majesticbrownjawn @taurusqueen83

***

A/N: So we are in the thick of ittttttt. The babes are pining and entering in a fake relationship…. what could go wrong LOL the smut returns next chapter, promise! And we get their first real date.

Drop a comment and let me know what you think or if you want to be tagged! Thanks for reading!

#black writers #michael b jordan #michael b jordan x oc #mbjordanedit #michael b jordan x reader #creed 3 #black panther #michael b jordan fanfic #adonis creed #creed iii

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liketwoswansinbalance · 3 months

Text

Round IV of an Excerpt from The One True School Master of Vault 41

Let’s just say I was inspired by Soman’s short story, “The Prince’s Club.”

⸻

“Yes,” she reasserted. “You’re dead. I know it. I’ve proved it again and again, every single time I’ve doubted it. Just because my senses are telling me you’re real doesn’t mean I can trust them or you. This hallucination will not undermine the truth. You can’t exist. You only exist in my head. You’re a product of my mind.”

Rafal decided to defer to her for the time being. “Well then, while I'm still here, as long as I last, for my temporary stay in… your head, why argue? Why not make the most of the time we have? And, why bother to send me away? Am I not fit to hold a simple conversation with you?”

“You inhabit my dreams and nightmares,” she scorched. “That’s it! I’m still not awake.”

“Really? What is it that you dream of, when you dream of me?”

“Ah, well… it usually vacillates between you kissing me and me killing you,” Sophie confided.

“What else? Go on,” Rafal prompted, treading lightly. “ I want to know.”

Sophie hesitated. “All right.” She looked away from him, and began her recitation.

“There have been others, far more bizarre ones, I suppose. Er, in one, I refused your ring and you jumped to your death. You’ve fed me to Stymphs, you’ve imprisoned me in an enormous bird cage, you’ve chained me to the ground by my ankles, and I don’t know why, it was not the worse one by far, but I wept, and you told me to shut up because you had a migraine. I kept sobbing, and finally, you handed me a pike and told me to run you through the head because you couldn’t take it anymore. You’ve driven a letter opener through my throat because you weren’t having enough reading my mind as it was and thought you could pry open my vocal cords and cut out my tongue. You’ve… ahem, taken me down with a literal scythe, you’ve flown me into the center of the sun… and uh, you’ve serenaded me with a lute while wearing these horrendously obsequious pantaloons. I was wearing a lovely, lavender hennin, decked with tulle in that one. Some of my classmates pelted you with spoiled fruit. And, in another, I stood by while Tedros carved out your eyes and then turned you into a stone statue for Merlin's Menagerie. I cleaved off your ears because you hadn’t listened to me about getting a haircut. Agatha did not partake in your mutilation, but she did cheer exuberantly. Can’t blame her though—it wasn’t the real Agatha. Then, I planted a pomegranate tree in your honor. That nightmare was rather lurid. It still haunts me. Come to think of it, your hair does fall into your eyes. I think it would look better if it hit a bit higher above your brows. Yet another time, you were unspeakably upset for no particular reason, stamped your foot until you opened a rift in the ground, tore yourself into two like you were made of gingerbread, and then, the split parts fell through the earth. I was also mad because you’d eaten the honeycomb for one of my beauty routines, but I didn’t get upset like you did,” she accused. “Another night, I tied you to a bedpost and gagged you with a satin pincushion. You looked quite comical, but wouldn’t stop mumbling. My nails were bloody and I had torn cuticles for some reason. I think you ruined my manicure. And all the Old villains and the New students besieged you and got a good whack in while you were restrained, and the whole bed frame creaked until the bed collapsed on itself. You’d broken free from the binds, splintering the wood. You blew them to ashes. Then, you put me in a glass bauble. Everything looked colorful and distorted, and I think I must’ve died of suffocation because I don’t seem to recall the rest. One night, we sat atop the framework of a gallows where the waxen corpses were still strung up, with very fine sewing thread, no less, and you told me you thought my glass slippers were a laughingstock and that I was no match for Cinderella. Then you smoked a pipe. We went ice-skating, and you fell through the solid ice and simply disappeared. Or was that the one where you drowned in a pit of ashes, compressed into diamond dust that I used to decorate the borders of my stationary with? All that aside, I laughed and then some force sucked me down after you, as if it were a portal to Hell. Agatha grew wings and tried to save me to no avail. I swallowed the glacial water and, and, um… then I woke up. And… uh, that’s most all of them. The recent ones, at least.”

She pinked egregiously, and glanced back at him nervously to gauge his reaction.

Rafal wore an exaggerated scowl, to keep his laughter at bay, and he’d bitten down on his lip hard, dribbling blood. He wiped the blood on his sleeve.

Sophie curled her lips at the sight of yet another stain, but it didn’t truly matter because his jacket was already doused in blood.

Rafal cleared his throat breathlessly, and tried to speak, but no words came out. He started again. “Hmm… well then. That confirms you’re a Reader.” Disarmed, he scratched his neck as it reddened.

“Yes,” she agreed awkwardly.

⸻

Any reactions anyone? And did you catch the references I made? I’d love to get concrit on this one.

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joongwooclub · 1 year

Text

fated || j. yh.

pairing: fem!reader x jeong yunho

tags/warnings: childhood friends to strangers to friends to lovers, fluff, smut near end, dilf yunho, yunho’s child likes fem!reader a lot. [aged up reader and yunho]

word count: 6.0K

✩: authors note - this was a quick (not to quick) brainrot, so please know this may contain grammar inaccuracies + misspells and I haven't had time to revise due to university.

✩: reblogs / comments + feedbacks are appreciated!! story under cut!

Jeong Yunho has been my best friend since childhood, we went through every single small and big situation I can imagine. I didn’t know when it happened but I had feelings for him. Maybe it was his golden retriever personality, or his tall body portion with his long delicate fingers that caressed your face. Shaking my head to get the perverted thoughts away from my mind, I looked at the boy next to me. His side profile was perfect as always as he laughed at a comment a fellow classmate said. It was a late Friday night, sitting in the bar with a small group of friends from my last year classes. It was bizarre to think that it was the last year of college and after this, everyone will be on their way to their own life. “Yunho-ah, what will you be doing after finishing the last year?” Mina asked, her eyes fluttering in a way to send flirtatious signals. Yunho gave her a smile, and it made my stomach turn. Was I jealous? Very much, but I couldn’t do anything since Yunho wasn’t my boyfriend. Just a crush. “Well hopefully I’ll level up soon at my workplace, I want to do business once I finish here.” He answered, a hand on his lap as his legs were crossed, like a true gentleman, I bit my lip as the group spoke.

My energy slowly runs out to communicate. Yunho glanced over at me and rubbed my arm softly, “Hey..you tired?” I nodded slowly, “Let’s go back home?” He whispers, my cheeks grew with blush as he was so attentive to my energy, but as well as he said ‘home’ like we lived together. I nodded and got up, “It’s getting late so me and y/n will be heading back. You guys stay safe.” Yunho smiled before handing some money to another friend to pay for his and my drink. “Yuyu, I can pay for my own drink.” I pouted. He just poked my cheek and shook his head, “nope~ I got it.” He didn’t even let me finish my new sentence as he took my hand and walked me out of the bar. Luckily we didn’t drive, so we were able to just grab a taxi and even more luckily, we lived a few blocks from each other. As the taxi took us back to my house, I looked out of the window, the night view flew by. I sighed, Yunho looked over at me. “What’s up sweetheart?” he questioned, I looked at him and smiled softly, “Just wondering how we would be once we graduate.” I spoke softly. Yunho awed and took my hand into his, his warmth warming my cold hands, “Well, we will have each other no matter what.” “promise?” “promise.”

[ 4 years later ]

That night with Yunho felt like it was a day ago. The promise of staying together soon broke as graduation happened and life became busy. Last thing I knew was that Yunho was now a CEO of a business, while I currently work at a small (not so quiet) preschool as a teacher. All those years for a teaching degree and I still landed a job to work with small kids. Could it be the baby fever? Maybe, but the thought of one day having a family was nice, but definitely not now. I mean, I am only 25 years old, almost 26 now. It was normal to think about family now since it was my mid-20’s but, no one ever caught my eye–not since yunho at least. “Ms. Y/L/N~” A small child called my last name, I turned around and smiled as my eyes landed on one of my favorite students, “Hi nina~ how are you.” I cooed softly crouching down to be eye level with her. Her brown eyes shined brightly as she was a naturally giggly, happy child. “Ma dada ist picking me..” she said. I tilted my head smiling at her, knowing she was still young so developing her speaking skills was something we wanted to work on. “Your daddy is what sweetheart?” I asked. “Picking me..um..up! Like sky!” she said excitedly. “Oh, picking you up! How nice~ what about mama?” I asked. “Mama don’t live with us. She went away.” she spoke naturally. I was shocked. I knew her mother, she wasn’t the best but she was trying as a young mom, around my age, so I didn’t have the right to judge. As Nina said that, she went back to playing with the other kids outside, the giggling and lively screaming of the kids echoing through the small playground. I stood up and started to clean up around the table area, glancing at the clock outside and notice the time they were about to be picked up. As soon as the clock hit 5pm, our alarm to come inside rang. Some kids ran inside, while others put away their toys from the playground back into the outside box and went inside. I gave them small smiles as we helped put on their shoes if they couldn’t do it themselves. One by one each parent came to pick up their child. Nina waited in the corner, tippy toeing to look out the small child level window. I cleaned up the remaining trash and watched for every parent and child that left.

Almost a full 30 minutes went by and Nina was still here. “Nina sweetheart, where’s daddy?” I asked, sitting down next to her crisscrossed. “Works late…he come..” Nina mumbles sadly. Her head tilted down and I saw her fumble with her hands, I bit my lip, feeling sorry, Nina’s mom was always a few minutes late, but not like this. So I took her tiny hands into mine and gave her a smile. “How about we play princesses?” I suggested. “Yay!! Princesses!! Will you be princess too?” I giggled at her half full sentences; I nodded and she smiled ear to ear. I rumbled through the toy box near us and pulled out some dolls. Nina finally sat down across from me and started playing, immediately forgetting about her late father. It was some minutes after when the door opened. Nina looked up and gleamed with happiness as she rushed to get up and run to whoever came in. I stood up and patted down my work jeans and looked at the figure. He had black hair, broad shoulders, he was clearly tall despite the fact he was bending down to kiss his daughters forehead. The obvious sweating told me that he rushed here as quickly as he could. “I’m terribly sorry for being late, please forgiv-..y/n?” his sentence stopped and I stared back. “Yunho?” I was shocked. His eyes turned from shock to the smile he gave in college, “daddy you know ms. Y/L/N?” Nina asked, looking between us. “Yes baby, we went to school together.” Yunho smiled, squatting down to his daughter. “HOW?! You look old, she’s pretty!!” Nina screeched. I held back my giggle as she said, “Nina sweetheart, don’t call your dad old.” I chuckled.

Yunho laughed and patted his daughter’s head, “come on baby, let’s go home.” He stood up and held Nina’s hand. He gave me a sweet smile, “I really am sorry that I’m late. Even though I’m a boss at my own company, it’s so much harder to leave. Was she okay?” Yunho asked, I nodded. “Of course, Nina is one of my favorite students.” I smiled, walking back to the dolls on the ground to put them away, “Nina told me about her mother not being able to pick her up anymore?” I mentioned. Yunho’s face turned pale, “y-yeah..c-can we talk about it outside?” He asked. I simply nodded and made sure everything was cleaned, grabbed my tote bag, and keys to lock the door, turning off the lights before closing the door behind me. Yunho parked his car right on the driveway of the preschool and lifted Nina into the backseat, putting on her seatbelt, before telling her “daddy needs to talk real quick ok? Listen to music.” as he turned on a seat tv and Elsa's Frozen started playing. As he closed the door, making sure to lower the windows a bit for air to circulate, he looked at me. “She listens to frozen loudly. So we can talk normally.” he said, and he was correct as I heard Nina sing very loudly to the song, mumbling at parts she couldn't understand. “No worries. I only mentioned cause she told me, but for file reason, I have to add you. Will she be coming back soon?” I said looking at him fondly. Yunho shook his head in a no motion, “I want to say unfortunately no, but I’m happy. We filed for a divorced a while ago because she told me she found someone better and the guy treated her better..whatever that meant. I just got full custody over Nina. You can remove Kyomi Cheng and add Yunho Jeong instead.” He explained. I made a mental note about the info, “Alright, thank you. I will make sure to update the files tomorrow morning.” Some silence filled the air before I made a comment. “Still can’t believe you’re here.” I chuckled. He smiled and nodded, “yeah, can’t believe we live in the same city even though we went to school somewhere else. Do you live around here?” “I do. A few blocked in Willow Crossing.” Yunho’s eyes opened in shock, “No way! I live in Fairview Estates!” I was equally shocked. Fairview Estates were the more expensive places, but it was really close to where I lived. “Wow, fate really has us.” “yeah..” I gave him a smile and hugged him, which shocked him again but his gentle arms hugged me back. “Well get home safely, I’ll see Nina tomorrow.” “First thing in the morning.” Yunho smiled. I waved bye to Nina who smiled and waved goodbye back and walked to my car. My heart was racing like a teenage girl again, seeing Yunho like that was like college. He still looked the same, except his face got sharper, he grew muscles, he was taller, and god, he smelled so good in the hug. His cologne clogged my mine, it smelled like Ferrari Light. I shook my head, I can’t believe I’m falling in love with him again just by seeing him. I focused on my way home, stopping by the store to pick up food for dinner and went home. The long day finally tiring my body as soon as I sat down to eat. My phone buzzed and I glanced at the time. 7:50 pm, I furrowed my eyebrows as I usually never have messages or calls at this time.

Unknown Number, 7:51 pm : HIIIII MS. Y/L/N

Unknown Number, 7:51 pm: I’m sorry y/n. Nina took my phone after I said I still had your number. Just wanted to say thank you for watching her. Would you like coffee tomorrow morning?

I smiled at my phone, even as a single dad now, Yunho was still the same. Caring and selflessness. I picked up my phone and typed back.

Me, 7:53 pm : Would love coffee!

Yuyu, 7:54 pm: Caramel Macchiato like the old days, right? :)

I blushed as he remembered my order even though it was years ago since we last saw each other. I texted back and smiled.

Me, 7:55 pm: wow, still remembered =D, anyways get Nina to sleep. I’ll see you tomorrow. Goodnight Yunho!

Yuyu, 7:55 pm: No Yuyu? :(

Me, 7:56 pm: okay, goodnight yuyu~

Yuyu, 7:56 pm: :D Goodnight doll (still your favorite nickname right?) Nina says goodnight as well. See you tomorrow.

I felt my cheeks fill with blush as he used a nickname (more of a pet name) I haven’t heard in a while. The way he used to say it in college always made me weak in the knees. It was honestly pathetic of me for feeling like this from just one moment with him. I sighed and put my phone on my night stand, the only light was coming from my lamp. I wonder how Yunho acted now since he has a little girl, does he tuck her in at night? Cuddle her as she falls asleep? Maybe he uses his puppy-like pout to get his little girl to giggle when she’s upset. ‘Why am I thinking like this?’ I mumbled to myself. Reaching over and turning off my lamp to try and sleep. ‘Let’s hope I can function in the morning’

The loud beeping from my alarm blared through my silent bedroom. I groaned and pressed stop, lazily getting out of bed. I looked at my phone, going to the weather app to see what the weather was like for today. The temperature was starting to get colder, and those weathers are what I liked the most. I got up and went to my closet to grab a beige turtleneck, topping it with a loose sweater to hang, wearing some simple leggings. After getting ready and adding small accessories, I quickly grabbed my bag and keys to drive to the school. It wasn’t a bad drive today, the crunchy leaves making me smile brightly as I walked towards the door. Setting up the classroom was easy and I finished quite quickly as the kids wouldn’t be there for another hour or so. So I sat down onto my chair in my corner and typed away on my computer, until I received a message.

Yuyu, 9:20 am: Good Morning :D, Nina has something waiting for you at the door!

I giggled and put my phone down to walk to the door to open it. I see Nina holding a Starbucks sandwich bag and holding my drink. “WE GOT THIS FOR YOU!” Nina giggled, I bent down to her level and smiled brightly. “Thank you Nina~ Would you like to go put it on my desk?” I asked, she nodded happily and ran inside, taking her shoes off first, before running to my desk corner. “She’s so energetic for the morning.” I looked up and saw Yunho smiling down at me. He held out his hand and helped me stand up, he was in a black suit, white button up on the inside, with shiny slick black shoes. He had two silver rings on, and his married finger was bare. I wanted to smile at the thought of him being single, but that’s just rude for someone who just got cheated on and divorced. I snapped out of my daydreaming and spoke, “Nina is an energizer. Just like her father.”, my comment made Yunho smile and chuckle deeply. “I’m glad. It’s okay for her to be here early right?” he asked, concerned. “Of course. Me and her can play princesses-” “DADDYYY~” Nina interrupted what I was saying, Yunho apologized and looked at his daughter. “Yes baby?” “Come in and play.” Nina pouted. Yunho looked at me, as if he was asking if it was okay for him to stay for a bit, “come in come in.” I motioned him, closing the door behind us, hearing the alarmed door lock for safety reasons. I watched as Yunho looked around the classroom, his tall figure could touch the ceiling if he was any taller. I sat down on the carpet with Nina as she played around with blocks

Yunho sat down next to me and watched his daughter ramble and play around. He sighed, but not a negative sigh, more of a relaxed one. “You’ve changed.” “hm?” I hummed, turning to look at him. His eyes connected with mine and I felt my heart flutter. “From college. You used to hate looking after kids and such..now you’re a teacher, being surrounded by little kids all day.” he chuckles. I blushed and focused back on Nina, “yeah..well.. You know, people change.” I said as I was quite embarrassed because I started liking the idea of kids when I imagined me and Yunho having one. “You would be a good mom.” Yunho commented while watching Nina. I could have choked on water if I had any in my mouth, “w-what makes you say that?” I stumbled. “I just know it. I mean we grew up with each other, plus you’re so caring and protective of kids, even if you personally don’t think so.” Before I could reply, Nina walked up to us and handed us some dolls. “I’m princess! You and daddy can be king and queen.” she smiled innocently. I looked at Nina big eyed and mouth a gap, this must have caught Yunho off guard too because his ears started to turn to a shade of red and he coughed awkwardly. “Nina sweetie, you can’t say things like that.” Nina pouted and whined, “it’s okay Yuyu.” I whispered, getting up I walked to my desk and picked up the coffee. “Thanks by the way.” I blushed, shaking the drink lightly, “ah, no problem.” Yunho smiled awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck, he stood up awkwardly and cleared his throat. “Okay well, thank you for the fun morning, I have to head to work now. Nina be good, take care y/n, I’ll be on time, this time, I swear.” He says, “Don’t keep promises you can’t keep.” I joked. He just laughed and nodded, “see you later.” He smiles, before heading out the door, the door closing slowly closing behind him, I watched as his broad shoulders slowly went out of view.

The day at the school went by fast. The kids were now taking their scheduled nap time, I made sure each kid was comfortable and tucked in before going back to my desk. I silently typed away on my computer, creating plans for the next few classes. I felt my eyes close slightly from the calm, tired atmosphere. I drank my water to stay awake and continued with my tasks, and before I knew it, the school day ended. Every kid greeted their parents, I waved goodbye to each kid with a smile, “see everyone on monday!” I cheered. Looking around the classroom, Nina sat patiently on the waiting stools. “Come on Nina, let’s go outside.” I said, she smiled and happily hopped off the small stool and ran to me, taking my hands into her small ones. I turned off the lights and made sure to have everything before locking the door. “Daddy isn’t here yet.” Nina pouted. I pat her head, “I know sweetheart. He can be late again. How about we sit out here and play a game?” I said. “What game?” She gleamed, I hummed, thinking of a small game that could still be stimulating for her, “how about I spy?” “how do we play..” she tilted her head. God, she was so cute, just like a smaller version of Yunho. I chuckled and sat her down on a step, while I sat down next to her. “If I say I spy..I will give a hint on what I'm looking at and you guess.” I said, Nina nodded softly like she semi understood. So I started the game, “I spy something with green.” Nina looked around, “..hm..tree?” she asked looking at me with a nervous look. I nodded and cheered, “yes that’s correct! Great job Nina~” I smiled, making Nina happy. We played like that until Yunho appeared a few minutes later, he got out of his car and opened his arms as soon as he saw Nina run to him. “Thank you.” he says and I smiled back. “No worries. I think Nina enjoys her time with me, right Nina?” “Yes~~ You’re the best!” she cheered as Yunho put her into her car seat. “I think I owe you dinner for always watching my daughter.” Yunho laughed while closing the door. “I’ll take that offer one day.” I said lightly, grabbing my keys out, actually parking closer to the school this time. “Get home safely Mr. Jeong.” I waved bye, Yunho bit his lip before saying bye back and getting into his car.

Multiple weeks passed, and weeks turned into months. It turned to a routine of Nina getting to the school early with my Starbucks order in her tiny hands as Yunho looked at her fondly. Each conversation with him became close again, just like old times. Sometimes I would think he would blush, but I always turned down that thought. We were only friends and that’s it. For this particular day, school was on break and I didn’t have a lot planned since I was far from family, and I rarely went out so hanging out with friends wasn’t an option. Somehow Nina heard that from a conversation with a coworker, and here I am in front of Yunho’s and Nina’s house. The house was actually quite big, it looked like two stories, the front yard was covered in light snow, decorated with cute Christmas decorations for the upcoming holiday. I rang the doorbell, feeling the cold getting to me despite wearing a warm thin sweater with an oversize hoodie with some warm leggings with beige fur boots. Yunho opened the door and smiled brightly, “Welcome y/n.” he greeted, allowing me inside. I walked in and was hit with the warm air and the smell of hot chocolate in the air. Nina wanted to make hot chocolate with marshmallows, she was dying for you to try it.” Yunho said, his hand accidentally brushing against mine as he was walking past. I blushed and softly nodded, “if you get too hot, you can leave your hoodie on the rack.” he says before rushing back to what I would assume is the kitchen. I walked in that direction as well and was in awe. The kitchen fridge had drawings by Nina pinned to it, with small photos of Yunho with his family and friends. One photo made me smile and blush. It was an old photo of us from college, his arm was wrapped around my shoulder, we were both gleaming with bright smiles on our face, the party strings and confetti stuck in our hairs. “We grew up so much huh.” Yunho commented, seeing me look at the picture. “Yeah, it’s unbelievable.” I said looking at him. I don’t know why it was still awkward between us. It could be me..I don’t know how to stop thinking about him. He clouded my thoughts 24/7 and I couldn’t get him out of my head. “Let’s go sit down.”

A few hours passed, mainly filled with movies and laughter from Nina as I watched Yunho play with her during slow scenes of the movies. It was nice to see him like this, I wonder why his ex would cheat and say she found someone better. He was a busy man, but he always tried to make up for his time by spending extra time with his daughter and cooking and playing with her. “Can I call y/n mommy now?” Nina asked innocently. That comment made me snap out of my thoughts. Yunho stopped giggling and sat up straight. He furrowed his eyebrows. “Why do you say that Nina?” He asked seriously. “Because she reminds me of mommy, but better.” Nina said, pouting. I just got up from the couch, “sorry Nina, but I have to go.” I said, patting her head softly before rushing to the door. I heard Yunho telling Nina to stay where she was and I heard heavy footsteps behind me. I reached the door and opened it quickly, rushing outside, only for my wrist to be caught by the person I didn’t want to look at. “y/n? What’s the matter?” “Nothing Yunho, I just have to go.” I said deadpan, I wanted to cry, tell him I loved him, but how can I without ruining our built friendship again? Yunho’s grip tightened around my wrist then I felt his other hand spin me around, forcing me to look at his chest. “Look at me,” he said sternly. I never heard this tone from him besides the times I would cry into his chest about my pathetic, toxic ex boyfriends. I was shaking slightly, maybe from the cold, or the fear of looking Yunho in the eyes. With the little courage I had, I looked him directly in the eyes, I watched his eyes soften, “Why are you trying to leave-” I cut him off, tears were in my eyes, “Yunho, please let go of me. I need to go. I can’t stay here, I’m sorry. I love Nina, but what she said... I can’t handle it. I can’t handle it because you will never see me like that.” I started, getting out of his grip, backing away slowly. “I loved you Yunho, I actually still love you. Since we were kids, but you will never see me like that, and I don’t want Nina to think I’ll be her new mom when we aren’t anything.” I continued. I didn’t even want to wait for a response, I just rushed to my car, starting it and leaving before Yunho could stop my car. I knew he didn’t love me back…but how wrong I was.

Days went by, then it was weeks. I called my assistant to tell them I got sick and wouldn’t be in for a while, I ignored every text and call that came from Yunho. I really only responded when I knew it was Nina texting from her speech pattern and little kid spelling. I couldn't face him, not after what I said. Was I being childish? Sure, but feelings make you feel like that. I want to hold him, hug him, have him tell me it’s okay, but he’s not mine, and he would never be. I wiped my tears with my tissues as I sat on my sofa with an oversize t-shirt and shorts, used tissues filled with tears and snot covered the table as a twilight movie played in the background. Way to go y/n, a grown adult crying over a problem I made myself because I couldn’t control my emotions. The movie was loudly playing until my doorbell started to ring louder than the tv, I sniffed and paused my movie. I silently groaned, not wanting to open the door. I was going to ignore it, but remembered I was sad enough to deliver food and thought it could be my poor uber eats driver holding my two pizza boxes and cake desserts with extra whip cream. I got up and wiped my face to avoid being asked if I was okay. I didn’t bother looking at my peep hole, what a mistake. As I opened my door, Yunho stood there. He was wearing a simple black tee and gray sweatpants with gray jordans. I wanted to close my door, but he caught it. “y/n..please. Let’s talk.” He says, his voice soft enough that it made me want to cry. I didn’t have the energy to try and kick him out so I just moved away from the door and stepped back. “I just want to talk about the last time I saw- are you crying?” Yunho began before seeing my bloodshot eyes, I turned around not being able to face him. “N-No I’m not.” I said trying my best not to sniffle. Yunho sighed and walked in completely, closing the door behind him. I didn’t want to look at him, until I felt his arms wrap around my body, his hands automatically wrapping around the waist. His warm body heat transferred to me and I wanted to cry even more. He slowly turned me around and gently placed my head against his chest. “You can cry..it’s okay.” he whispers. I cried into his chest, tears kept falling, and Yunho just held me in the middle of my home. I probably spent half an hour just crying into his chest. It was like the old times, and my heart ached. Yunho’s shirt was soaked by the time I slowly got out of his warm hug, despite it being a black shirt, it was noticeable I was crying into it. “I’m sorry Yunho..I’m sorry..” I began to apologize. Yunho just looked at me sadly and gave me a small supportive smile, “y/n love, it’s okay..” he whispers. My head started to ache in pain as the crying took a lot out of me, I groaned softly and put my head against my forehead. “How about you go upstairs to your room? I’ll bring you medicine.” Yunho offered. “What? No I’m okay-” “Stop lying to me please. Just go lie down. I’ll figure out where your room is later.” Yunho said sternly. Not having the energy to argue, I just simply nodded, before heading up I mumbled, “my room is the one on the right at the very end.” before walking up the stairs.

As I laid down on my bed, my head began to hurt even more, Yunho came into my room a few minutes later with a glass full of water, and some head ache medication. He set the stuff down on my night stand, and glanced around my room. My sanrio stuff animals on one side of my bed, and some small posters of music and photos of trips. He chuckles, like seeing my room matched me perfectly. “What?” I mumbled, blush growing onto my cheeks. “Nothing..nothing. Your room just fits you that’s all.” He smiled, sitting on the edge of my bed. I didn’t say anything, too scared to speak to him now that he was in my room. I basically confessed and now I have to deal with the rejection. I reached over and took the medication pills and gulp down the water before laying back in bed. “So..can you just reject me, so we can move on..” “reject you? Why would I reject you?” I frowned at his answer, did he enjoy my pain? “You came here to say I’m sorry, I’m not interested right? So go on and reject me!” I said loudly, ignoring the thumping pain in my head. Yunho just shook his head, “You’re unbelievable.” “what?” I took offense to his comment. He stretched over to the point he was hovering over me, I could feel his warm breath on my face to my neck. His long body completely covering me. “You never even let me answer you that day.” He mumbles, “Because I know-” “No you don’t y/n. Listen to me y/n, I love you as well. I always been so scared to hurt our friendship, and when we graduated. Fuck, I regretted not telling you. Yes I got married and I have my beautiful Nina, but the love never felt like how I love you.” I was speechless. Yunho liked me, like actually likes me. “I..Yunho..” I tried to talk, but nothing came out. It was a lot to process, but my headache made it worse. Yunho looked at me, biting his lip before I felt his lips against mine. It felt so good to have him on me, I kissed him back, our lips molded together like it was suppose to be like this. We kissed for a few more minutes before I pulled my head back to breath. He was so breathtaking, no words could express how good he looked. “I..let’s talk about this later..maybe..” I mumbled. He tilted his head, “Your head still hurts?” he asked, I nodded in reply. He hummed then gave me a kiss on my cheek, “I have an idea. But I need your permission.” he whispers. I furrowed my eyebrows, “What is it..?” I questioned. “Well, I heard from some friends and maybe some articles..that sex helps..but only if you want it.” he whispers, his eyes focused on me. My mouth was agape, not knowing how to answer. I mean, SEX WITH YUNHO? YES, but my mouth couldn’t say it. “I’m..I’m okay with that.” I mumbled, looking up to him. “Don’t worry, I won’t have full sex if you’re uncomfortable. Just let me take care of you. Safe word princess?” My head buzzed, because why was he like this, so caring and sexy. I just wanted him. My head clouded with thoughts of him. “Hmm..it can be red.” I whispered, feeling his chest through his t-shirt. He gave me a smile, before his hands gripped my hips, he gave me a quick kiss on my forehead, before his head reached down to my stomach.

His lips kissed my stomach, reaching my lower region, his hands handling my thighs. He gave quick licks to my inner thighs. I squirmed at the feeling, but my lower region gushed with need. “Yuyu..please.” I whined. He chuckled darkly, “you’ve been calling me Yunho the whole time, so go ahead. Keep calling me Yunho. Or maybe you can call me something different.” He teased, his hands softly rubbing my thighs. “S-Sir please..” I whined looking down at him. His eyes grew dark and he smirked. I lifted my lower region and he gently took off my shorts and panties, his hands immediately cupping my cunt. I let out a soft moan as his fingers rubbed my folds, the feeling was new, but I wanted more. I felt his hot breath and he suddenly landed his tongue onto my folds. My hands tugged on his hair, pushing him deeper into me. His tongue swirled around and sucked. I moaned out, “mhm.. Fuck..sir, feels so good.” He detached himself from my cunt and chuckled, “Yeah? You feel good baby?” He whispers, his voice an octave lower. My head was hazy, his lips touched my cunt once again. He began sucking on my clit, pleasure spreading throughout my body. My nerves were on high, I felt my head fill with dopamine, as it felt so good. My lower region was tightening and I squeezed my thighs together, softly squeezing Yunho’s head. He gripped my thighs and spread me out, opening me more as he lapped over my cunt. “I..I” I couldn’t speak, only moans and groans could be let out. “Go ahead and cum baby.” He mumbled before continuing his action. I felt myself release in his mouth and he kept eating me out as I was calming down, turning sensitive. “Y-Yu..too much.” I whined. He detached himself and I saw my juices around his mouth, as he used his fingers to wipe his mouth, I watched as he inserted his own fingers covered in my juices into his own mouth and he hummed. “You taste good baby.” he smirked. My body was tired, but my headache was gone, I gave him a drunken smile, “Do I now?” I said, feeling like I was high. Yunho just smiled and got off of my bed, “I’ll be right back.” he says, before leaving my room. He came back a few minutes later with a warm towel and more water. “Where’s your wardrobe, for your underwear.” He asked, looking around at the multiple cabinets. “Bottom left on the 3 layer.” I said, he walked over and opened it. I saw him smirk and grab an underwear then close it. “We have to use those toys next time.” He commented, I blushed at his comment. He gently wiped me, knowing I was still sensitive, and changed my panties. As he finished, he helped me drink water then put the blanket on top of me. He laid down next to me, I saw him take off his shirt before his body went under the covers. His arms wrapped around my waist, making me a small spoon in the bed, and I blushed. His head snuggled into my neck as he gently left pecks. “Let’s rest for now. We’ll speak later.” he whispers. I nodded and felt my body get tired, but I knew how I should feel now. Loved. He was in love with me, and I was in love with him. “I love you yuyu..” I mumbled before closing my eyes. “I love you too, my princess.”

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vintageshanny · 8 months

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Play Something For Me - Part 5 - Meet Me in St. Louis

It’s the return of Elvis and Ruby! I hope you all enjoy! Thank you to everyone who’s liked, shared, and commented on my writing. It is so encouraging and means so much to me. ❤️

Writing Prompt: Elvis in a car

Content: Fluff, smut, 1973 Elvis, 18+

October 31, 1973

Ruby let her thoughts wander as she absentmindedly strolled down the sidewalk with her shopping bags. She had walked to the store to pick up some candy for the trick-or-treaters that would be flooding the neighborhood later. Ella would be home from school soon and would need help putting the finishing touches on her costume. As usual when she was alone, she found her mind drifting to Elvis. To her knowledge, he had not tried to contact her in the almost two months since they had admitted their love for each other in Las Vegas. She had seen the news stories about his rant against the Hilton on closing night, rumors of a falling out with his manager, and his divorce being finalized at last. She knew he must be going through a lot of turmoil, and at first she had tried to convince herself that was the reason for his silence, but it was probably time to face the music - she had just been a convenient distraction for him, and now he was back to a life that had no room for a single mother in St. Louis. As if the weather sensed her melancholy mood, raindrops started to pour down with no warning. “Dammit,” she muttered to herself, looking up at the sky as if that would stop them somehow.

“Be careful baby, sugar melts in the rain,” an unmistakable deep voice called out. Ruby glanced over with surprise, just now noticing the fancy black car that had pulled over to the side of the road. She saw Elvis’ handsome face gleaming at her from the back window. Her jaw fell open a little bit as she took a step closer. “How did you know I have candy?” she asked, unsure of what else to say, looking down at the brown paper bags that were starting to get soggy. “Now honey, ya know I was talkin’ ‘bout you,” Elvis chuckled. “Now get in here ‘fore ya float away with your candy.” The rain soaking through her clothes assured her that this was the only sensible decision.

“Aw, honey, you’re soakin’ wet, you’re gonna catch cold,” Elvis murmured as he pulled Ruby in close and planted a big kiss on her lips, which were still hanging open slightly in shock. “How are you, I mean, what are you, um, why are you here?” she blurted out awkwardly. She could see his lopsided smile drop a little bit at her less-than-welcoming reception. “I mean, I haven’t heard from you, I just thought you didn’t want…” she trailed off, trying to backtrack on her initial hostility. “I do want, honey,” Elvis said, looking a bit dejected. “I’ve had a lot goin’ on, and I tried ta call ya a couple times, but ya ain’t got no answerin’ service.” “Oh,” Ruby said, feeling stupid. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know you called.” She did most of her seamstress work from home, but she supposed he could have called when she was out running errands. Or, knowing his schedule, maybe when she was sleeping. “I just figured you didn’t want to see me again.” Elvis looked up sharply. “I drove all the way here, baby,” he said. “Of course I wanted ta see ya.” Charlie cleared his throat softly from the driver’s seat. “I guess Charlie wants credit for drivin’ me here,” Elvis said with a hollow chuckle.

Ruby swallowed and looked down at her hands. “Elvis, I’m glad you’re here,” she whispered. “Ya are?” he asked, tilting her chin up toward him. “Of course,” Ruby admitted. “I was just feeling worried. I have all these feelings for you, and then I didn’t hear from you, or I thought I didn’t hear from you, and I’m scared.” She could feel herself beginning to tear up. “Oh, Ruby, you ain’t gotta be scared of me. I told ya I had a lot goin’ on, but I’m here now. Ya know I wanna be with ya. There’s a reason we’re back in each other’s lives, and I ain’t throwin’ that away. Understand, baby?” Elvis gazed at her, waiting for an answer. Ruby nodded and let him wrap her hand in his own. “Ya sure are a sight for sore eyes,” he said, his smile reappearing now. “Really? I probably look like a drowned rat,” Ruby laughed. Elvis’ eyes lowered to her chest and his grin grew bigger. “Naw, baby, ya look really good like this. Jus’ make sure no one else lays an eye on ya.” Ruby followed his gaze down and gasped a little bit when she saw how her sopping wet blouse had molded itself to every contour of her breasts, her nipples prominently poking through the fabric. She could feel her face flushing bright red as Elvis chuckled and pulled her in close to him. “Mmm my red Ruby, you’re actin’ like I ain’t seen ya naked before,” he whispered in her ear, sending a little shiver down her spine. “Elvis!” she whispered shyly, her eyes darting toward the front seat. “Charlie ain’t listenin’ to us, are ya, Charlie?” Elvis called out. “No, boss,” came the reply from the front. “Jus’ drive us to Miss Ruby’s house,” Elvis instructed and leaned back toward her. His hand gently caressed her chest as she succumbed to the pleasure of his soft lips pressing against hers.

Ruby felt like she could go on kissing Elvis for hours, but they pulled up in front of her house in just a few minutes. Elvis looked out the window and surveyed the sky. “I guess we should get inside while the rain’s let up.” Ruby noticed the downpour had disappeared as quickly as it had come. It was as if it occurred at the perfect time for Elvis to rescue her and woo her back into his arms without a second thought. Maybe this is all happening for a reason, she mused. “Uh, what should I do, boss? Wait here, or…” Charlie trailed off uncertainly. “Nah, go to the hotel. I’ll call ya if I need ya,” Elvis responded, grabbing a small suitcase and opening the door. He hurried around to help Ruby get out with her wet grocery bags. Ruby glanced around nervously, hoping none of the neighbors were watching. Elvis wasn’t exactly incognito in a silver jacket with rainbow flames licking the shoulders. She smiled as she looked him up and down. He seemed to have gained a little weight since she’d seen him, but she didn’t mind at all. It actually made her flush as she thought about laying underneath him, his body pressed into hers. Elvis looked over and smirked as they climbed the steps to the porch. “You’re gonna make me blush, baby, the way you’re undressin’ me with your eyes like that.” “I’m sorry,” Ruby murmured. “I just don’t know how you get more handsome every time I see you.” She loved the way her compliments always seemed to both embarrass and please him.

Ruby set the bags of candy on the kitchen counter and turned to see Elvis surveying the living room, looking at the framed photos of her and Ella. “Where’s your girl now?” he asked. “She should be home from school any minute, actually,” Ruby commented. “If you’d rather go, I understand,” she said, looking away nervously. Elvis turned to look at her in surprise. “Oh, do ya not want me to meet her?” He looked a little hurt again. “No, no, you can meet her, I just didn’t know if you’d feel comfortable, or-” she stammered out before Elvis cut her off. “Ruby, I love ya. I want to be in your life, but that means ya have to let me in,” he said as he walked closer and took her hands in his, looking directly into her eyes. She could feel them watering as she nodded and said, “Okay. I’ll let you in.” Elvis smiled with relief and held her close to him. “And Elvis?” she added. “Yes, baby?” “I love you too. I’m so glad you came.” She could feel his embrace around her tighten. “Baby, you should get outta these wet clothes,” he murmured into her hair. “Are you just trying to see me naked again?” she teased. “Nah, there’ll be plenty of time for that later,” he laughed. “I can’t get all excited when we won’t have the time for me to take care of ya properly.” Ruby smiled at this and leaned up to kiss his lips before going into her bedroom to change.

She returned to the living room to find that Elvis had made himself at home on the couch with some peanut butter cups from one of the grocery bags. “Elvis!” she swatted at him playfully, “Those are for the trick-or-treaters!” Elvis looked up at her with a big grin and whistled lowly. “You look beautiful baby, even if I can’t see those pretty nipples anymore.” He laughed as Ruby’s face turned scarlet. “Aw, red Ruby, your face matches your dress now,” he continued to tease as he pulled her onto his lap. She smoothed out her red dress with rainbow stitching at the waistline. She was too embarrassed to say that she had picked it out so they would match a little bit with their rainbow colors. Instead she leaned in and licked the chocolate off Elvis’ lip. “You’re a messy eater,” she teased him. “I can think of something really messy I’d like to eat,” he whispered in her ear, his fingers digging into her waist. “Elvis!” Ruby squealed, shocked but delighted by his naughty innuendo. Just at that moment, the doorknob turned and Ruby jumped up off his lap.

“Mom! I’m home!” Ella called out as she walked in the door. I’m right here sweetie, and we have a guest,” Ruby said nervously. Ella turned as she walked into the living room and her jaw just about hit the floor. “You’re - you’re Elvis Presley,” she announced in awe. Elvis stood up from the couch and reached his hand out. “You must be Ella. I’ve heard so much about ya,” he said with a grin. Ella reached her hand out and shook his, looking like she was in a trance. “Why are you in our house?” she stared over at her mother in confusion. “Oh, I’m jus’ an old friend of your mom’s,” he said, smiling down at how her hand was still shaking his. She dropped his hand then and gasped. “You did meet in Germany, didn’t you?” she asked accusingly. “My mom said she only caught a glimpse of you.” “Well, we may have had a conversation as well,” Ruby said softly, trying to think of how to get herself out of this uncomfortable situation. “Then when she came to my concert in August, we got a chance to talk again.” Elvis smiled over at Ruby, trying to help her explain his presence. “Your concert?” Ella asked in disbelief, looking at Ruby once more. “You went to Las Vegas while I was gone?” Then a look of realization came over her face. “Are you…dating?” she asked. “Are you dating Elvis Presley and you didn’t tell me?” Elvis looked at Ruby questioningly also, realizing that she must not have mentioned a thing about him. Ruby cleared her throat nervously. “It’s, um, kind of a long story, and I think that’s enough questions for right now. I can explain it all later, but you need to finish getting your costume ready for tonight. Trick-or-treat starts in an hour.” She turned and walked into the kitchen before either of them could question her any further.

Ella went into her bedroom to get ready, and Ruby could hear Elvis’ heavy footsteps walk up behind her while she was pouring the bags of candy out into a big bowl. “So…ya didn’t even think to mention me huh?” he asked, sounding a bit disappointed. Ruby turned to find him standing directly behind her, blocking her against the counter. “Elvis, it’s not that I didn’t think to, I mean, I just didn’t know what to say. I didn’t know if I’d even see you again. I didn’t want to get…anyone’s hopes up,” she tried to explain. Elvis nodded slowly and sighed. “I understand, baby. But, I should probably tell ya, my hopes are up.” He leaned his forehead against hers and closed his eyes. Ruby stared up into his beautiful face, noticing how his long lashes fanned over his cheeks. “I think I didn’t want to admit it to myself,” she said softly, “but so are mine.” Elvis leaned down and pressed his lips gently to hers.

Ella cleared her throat behind them and they nervously jumped apart, looking like two kids caught with their hands in the cookie jar. “If you two are done playing kissy-face, can you tell me if my costume looks okay?” Ella asked as Elvis and Ruby tried to suppress their smiles. Ella was wearing a pink dress that Ruby had made and had her hair in braided pigtails with big bows. “I wanted to be Marcia Brady, but mom made me dress as Cindy instead,” Ella announced with some disappointment in her voice. “Probably no one will even know who I am because my hair’s too dark to be Cindy.” “You can dress as a teenager when you are a teenager,” Ruby said. “I’m practically a teenager,” Ella mumbled. “Well, I think ya look mighty cute,” Elvis said with a grin. “Plus ya don’t wanna grow up too fast, people give ya more candy when you’re younger,” he added. Ella considered that and nodded in agreement. “I think you’re onto something there, Mr. Presley,” she said, sounding pleased. “Please jus’ call me Elvis, dear,” he said with a warm smile. “Okay Elvis dear,” Ella said, making all three of them giggle.

The doorbell rang and Ella grabbed her trick-or-treat bag. “My friends are here! I’m going, mom!” she called out as she ran for the door. “Hold on, give me a hug,” Ruby said as she pulled Ella in close. “Be careful and stay together. Don’t forget your overnight bag,” she added. “Don’t worry, we’ll be careful. And I expect the full long story when I come home,” Ella said sternly. She gave Ruby a quick kiss on the cheek, waved goodbye to Elvis, and rushed out the door. “Overnight bag?” Elvis asked. “Oh, yeah, she’s staying over at a friend’s house after trick-or-treating,” Ruby explained. “Hmm, we have the house to ourselves?” Elvis said, his endearing crooked smile coming out in full force, making Ruby’s heart melt and her core tingle. “Well, after we give out the candy,” she said with a wink. As if on cue, the first group of kids rang the doorbell. “You should stay out of sight so you don’t cause a commotion,” Ruby instructed as she went to grab the bowl of candy.

Ruby returned to find that Elvis had already opened the door and was signing autographs for a group of starstruck parents while the kids looked on confused, wondering where the candy was. She thought about scolding him but saw how much he seemed to be enjoying himself and decided to just let him have fun. Elvis continued to pass out candy with Ruby and sign autographs until the last trick-or-treater had come through. They sat next to each other on the couch, Elvis’ arm around Ruby’s shoulders. “I guess we had just enough candy,” Elvis announced, looking at the empty bowl on the coffee table. “Actually,” Ruby said with a sly smile, “I set aside a bag of peanut butter cups for you since you love them so much.” Elvis’ face lit up like a little boy’s. “Aw, that’s sweet of ya honey,” he said, kissing her forehead. “Do you want me to get them?” Ruby asked. “Well, I s-s-sorta had a different treat in mind right now,” he murmured, his hand creeping up under the hem of her dress. Ruby’s heart started racing. “Mmm, I think I could help you with that,” she whispered. She stood up from the couch and grabbed his hand, pulling him into the bedroom with her.

As soon as they got to the bed, Ruby pushed his jacket off his shoulders and pulled his shirt off. “Oh, God, I’ve missed this,” she whispered as she ran her hands lightly over his chest and stomach, feeling the hair tickle her fingertips. She loved the way Elvis always seemed to tremble slightly when they were intimate with each other. It reminded her that he was just a human being who got nervous like anyone else. She smiled as she took in how beautiful he looked. Elvis smiled back shyly as he unbuttoned his pants and let them drop down to the ground, revealing his bare body to her. “‘M sorry, honey, he’s not quite ready yet,” he motioned down to his soft cock hanging below the slight swell of his belly. “No need to be sorry, he probably just needs a little loving,” Ruby said as she pulled her dress over her head and removed her bra and underwear. Elvis stared at her naked body in admiration as she pushed him onto the bed. “Let me take care of him,” she whispered lustily.

Ruby started placing gentle open-mouthed kisses on Elvis’ lower abdomen and thighs, making a circle of wet spots around his cock as she caressed his balls in her hand. A low moan came from his lips and she moved her mouth closer to his shaft, letting her warm breath tease him. His moans grew louder and Ruby watched in awe as he started growing hard before her eyes, the head of his cock peeking out from the foreskin. She leaned in and kissed this most sensitive spot, letting her tongue run over it, and Elvis let out a symphony of moans. “Oh, Ruby, he’s sure ready now,” Elvis called out. Ruby gave him one last lick and then laid next to Elvis as he turned to roll on top of her. He reached down and ran his fingers through her folds, making sure she was wet enough to enter. “Damn, baby, you’re so wet. Is that cuz of me?” he asked with a proud grin. “Of course,” Ruby blushed. “That’s what happens when I get to lick all over your body and hear you moan my name.” “Well, there’s plenty more where that came from, sweet red Ruby,” Elvis whispered as he thrusted into her tight little hole, the full weight of his body pressed against hers. “Oh, Elvis, this is what I’ve been waiting for,” Ruby moaned, the pleasure consuming her immediately. “I know, baby, I know ya needed me to come take care of ya,” Elvis grunted as he continued thrusting deep inside of her. After two months of waiting for this moment, the ecstasy washed over the two of them with an intensity Ruby could barely take. She couldn’t stop from calling out Elvis’ name over and over as her orgasm hit so hard her entire body shook with pleasure. With sweat falling from his forehead, Elvis stuttered up into her with a satisfied groan, filling her up and collapsing down onto her soft body, his head nuzzled against her chest.

“Oh, wow, Elvis, that was amazing,” Ruby whispered rapturously as she ran her fingers through his sweaty hair. “It sure was, sweet red Ruby,” Elvis responded. “Elvis? Y’know how you have that, um, extra layer on your, y’know…” Ruby trailed off, for some reason feeling embarrassed to say the word foreskin. She could feel him tense up slightly as he realized what she was referring to. She quickly blurted out, “Well I love it! When you, um, go inside of me, I can feel it move back and forth a little bit and it feels amazing,” she ended in a whisper, her face turning beet red with this admission. Elvis relaxed and let out a little laugh. “I’m glad you love it, baby, I guess we were made for each other. Cuz he sure loves bein’ in there.” “I think your whole body is just perfect,” Ruby couldn’t stop the compliments as she continued to stroke his hair. He didn’t say anything more, but she could feel him smiling against her chest. He leaned up and gave her nipple a little lick, laughing at how it sent a shiver through her overstimulated body. Ruby blushed and smiled down at him. “Y’know what I could use now, baby?” Elvis asked, looking up into her face, his eyes twinkling. “Some peanut butter cups.” Ruby laughed and kissed his sweet lips.

Tag list: @ellie-24 @whositmcwhatsit @thatbanditqueen @be-my-ally @missmaywemeetagain @from-memphis-with-love @lookingforrainbows @peskybedtime @shakerattlescroll @arrolyn1114

#elvis #elvis fanfic #elvis x oc #writing prompt game #play something for me #elvis x ruby #i love this man

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theflagscene · 2 months

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Wait! How!? When!? Where!? How is White suddenly there!? How did Tee meet White!? You can’t just play upbeat music and have the boys running around to show the passage of time and not explain how the fucking villain of the story got the most adorably innocent lil princess boyfriend on the planet!

Phee, bringing Jin on a date to the same place you and Non liked to go is just weird. I hate people who use the same ‘date’ spots for their new partners that they used with their past partners and no, this isn’t me projecting, why do you ask!? Lmao 😂 shut up it’s still tacky af

‘Friend’ the dreaded word.

What is with the ass slapping and window sex!? I mean, I get that they’re supposed to 18 year old boys, who are by definition perverted, but that was some porn level shit. Also, again, no prep. Phee wasn’t even the one blown so it’s not like they were even using spit for lube, or an already lubed condom. What is this, another ABO show? Just having the dudes slick and sliding all over one another apparently.

Ta’s got a decent ass at least, good for him.

“Did you cheat on my brother?” Nah, pretty sure they broke up when Phee saw him being raw dogged by the teacher and then told him to go die, but whatever helps you sleep at night Tan.

“Don’t fall in love with him.” Yeah, I think it’s too late for that.

Oh, mom is not looking so great. Hmm, something tells me that video isn’t real. Mom knows what’s up, it’s finally hit her, her baby’s dead. The actress did a fantastic job of a mother realizing the truth of the death of her child, it’s a startling realization that does take your legs out from under you. Your mind blanks, you can’t think about anything but the last time you saw them, the last terrible thing you said, all you can do is try not to scream. - That got a little too dark and real, sorry.

news.boc.com Cute BoC, very cute.

How long were Phee and Jin supposed to have been fucking by now? Weeks? Months? Because Jin has gotten very emotionally invested very quickly, which is appropriate for teenagers I suppose.

Two years, so they’d be in their what, second year of uni? Tan has gone full mad scientist I see.

Wait, he called to tell Tan that his mom was dead and it was her funeral that day and he just showed tf up! When his dad thought he was still in England!? Lmao, that’s fricking hilarious. I know, I know, wrong reaction to this scene but I’m weird, what can I say.

Oops, bye bye daddy. No wonder Tan is so fucking nuts! That would drive anyone insane. He literally needs Non to be alive otherwise he’s lost everything for nothing.

Is Tan his own guinea pig for his drugs!? Jesus dude, get some help.

Question, were Phee and Jin fucking during their time at university too? Or are you telling me all this ‘I love him’ crap was from one night of decent dick and a few ‘best friend dates’? Like the math ain’t mathing, establish a better timeline here for me when it comes to their relationship because in the first episode it made it seem like they were screwing around for a really long time, months at the very least. But now it seems like they fucked around a couple times in one 12 hour period, Jin decided that was enough to wanna date, caught Phee in a mood because of the fake news report and then they just… what? Kept fucking? Stopped? Jin carried a torch for him for over two years after one night together? Acted like a scorned lover for years because of a single teenaged tryst? Not to be that guy, but girl, you’re coming off a little desperate. I need a more accurate timeline!!!

“This won’t kill them.” Tan, could you try and be a tad more convincing when saying that?

That was a fantastic look from Tan to end on, ngl. Although someone needs to save baby White!

Next episode, we’re back in the present for the most part it seems. Jin somehow still trusts Phee, Fluke somehow gets the gun back and oh look, he holds White hostage, poor bb did nothing, leave him alone! And Tee clearly does know what happened to both Non and Keng as he runs up onto the roof where his uncle is to see the pair… unconscious? Dead? One of each?

I want some backstory about how White fits into all of this next time as well, that would be great. Although considering how little the timeline of events during grade 12 are fully explained, I doubt knowing more about White would make very much sense at this point.

#Lynn watches DFF #dff the series #dff spoilers #dead friend forever #pheejin #teewhite

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reincarnationoftheparty · 6 months

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A Slow Dance with a Stranger

Warnings: alcohol, mentions of depression.

*James always makes me cry when I read about his struggles with depression and loss, and all I wanna do is go back in time and give him the hug I know he needed. So I wrote this. This is also my first time posting something like this, so please bare with my rookie writing.*

A lone drop of water rolls down the cold glass, collecting condensation along the way. It grows heavier with accumulation, plummeting the rest of the way down to a small puddle gathered on wood, surrounding the base of the pint.

James sat reclined against the back of the leather barstool, arms crossed and glowering at the glass pint of beer. His hatred for the unwilling love he held for such a substance. It was powerful and complex, and quite frankly too intimidating to think about. So, he pushes the thought away, reaches for the handle and takes another swig.

The yeasty sweet liquid fizzes down his throat, to the pit of his stomach to join the familiar but nameless feeling that resided in his gut for as long as he could remember. Over the last year, it had gotten worse, what with Cliff’s unfortunate passing. He wasn’t too familiar with the idea of properly handling his emotions when it came to loss in his life. Although the thought of his friend’s life being cut too short tugged at his heart, it also conjured up anger. The constant reminder that the driver very well could have been lying with the patch of ice story, a cover up for careless, distracted, or intoxicated driving. Especially considering right after the bus accident occurred, James wandered out into the cold night in nothing but his boxers to find the patch of ice himself and found nothing.

The memory of that night echoed in his head like a broken record in a music hall. The crash, the panic, the cold biting his bare skin, the screams. Everyone’s screams. Cliffs silence.

There were many routes he could take these theories, and the more he plagued his mind with them, the angrier he got. The last time he let his fury flourish, he’d gotten himself and his buddies into trouble. So in attempt to abandon the thought process, he repeats the cycle, putting the pint back down on its water-ring, and watching the droplets race. He hoped the alcohol would kick in and serve the purpose he would constantly seek from it; to blur his judgement, deter himself from running his own mental investigations and stressing himself out. His heart couldn’t take much more.

He still delt with the burden of his childhood. All the conflicting emotions resided; the love and mourning for his mom, the betrayal and hatred for his dad. There wasn’t a single day that went by that he wondered when it would just go away, when he could be normal and just live his life without feeling the plethora of emotional baggage weighing down on his young yet weary shoulders. The only thing that lifted that weight temporarily was booze.

He scanned around the bar blankly. It was large, decorated in rustic driftwood and neon light aesthetic. The jukebox set to randomize, as A Picture of Me (Without You) by George Jones echoes off the walls and empty dance floor. An old drunk pair of men murmuring in soft conversation with each other on the opposite side of the bar.

It was the first sanctuary he could find after he’d stormed out of the studio, pissed off and annoyed trying to finish this new album. If he was completely honest, he was mostly agitated at the new bassist. He could lie and blame it on Jason’s constant need for direction, the way he played with a pick instead of his fingers, the list could go on if James tried hard enough. But the reality of his reasoning was, Jason wasn’t Cliff. It wasn’t a good reason, but anyone who’d lost their best friend would understand that pain. Cliff; a pure soul, the first to lend a helping hand, the last to serve judgement where it wasn’t needed. All of those qualities, gone.

Cliff, gone.

That persistent reminder poked and prodded at James’ brain and heart every time he played with the new guy, looked at the new guy, or even acknowledged the fact that the band had a new guy. He knew it wasn’t fair, he was aware it was fucked up. But he was drowning too deep in his own grief to mentally address that. Maybe one day he could apologize for his behavior, and genuinely mean it. But for now, he stuck to the only coping skills he’d picked up in life; music, drinking, and anger.

He downed the rest of his beer, signaling the bartender for a refill.

The old man drops his cloth, grabbing the empty glass and tilting it under the tap. James leans back in his chair again as he watches it refill, before shifting his gaze down the bar top, absentmindedly tapping his fingertips heavily against the wood.

The sound of the door opening interrupts the peace, as the daylight pours into the dark bar for a few seconds. He looks back and sees a girl saunter in. She looked close to his age, but her expression wielded an age much older, her eyes revealing her to be carrying a heavy burden. He turned back around, focusing on the now full pint that was slid toward him as he nodded to the bartender in thanks.

The young girl sits at the bar, a few stools adjacent from his. With his eyes hiding behind his hair, he was able to sneak a glance at her. She was slumped in her seat, bag discarded from her shoulder onto the dirty bar floor. He observed her as she adjusted the thin strap of her white sun dress and gathered her hair over to one side before propping her elbows on the bar and resting her chin between her hands.

As she dazed at the wood, similar to James a few moments ago, the old bartender walks up to where she sat.

“What can I get ya, darlin’?” He old man’s southern twang gruff, but welcoming.

When she spoke, her voice was soft and warm, like melted chocolate.

“Double shot of Jameson and a Seagrams, please.” She murmurs, sliding over a couple bills and her ID.

The old man glances down at the license and nods, wiping his hands with a towel before tossing it across his shoulder.

“You got it.” He gets to work on her order.

James averts his eyes back down, grabbing the full glass and raising it to his lips.

With the distraction of the girl across the bar, he was pulled from the twister in his conscience and into the calm after the storm, suddenly realizing how bored he truly was just slouching in the stool for nearly two hours. He tried to busy himself and fiddled with a small, wrinkled napkin — folding it, and creasing it.

In his peripheral, the bartender returns to her, sliding over the shot glass and a fruity wine cooler.

“Here ya go, if ya need an’thing, just holler.”

She thanks him silently. Without a second wasted, she grabs the small glass and downs the amber liquid, tilting her head back and swallowing with a mild cringe.

Subconsciously, he continues to watch as she pushes the tiny glass away and brings the bottle to her lips for a brief sip to chase away the awful burn. As she wipes the liquid from her top lip, her gaze flicks to his and he immediately blinks to look away, focusing back on the crinkled napkin.

He can feel her eyes burning a hole into his jam-packed skull.

The girl seemed to take instant interest in James from across the bar, hard to miss such a wild golden blonde head of hair. It was also hard to miss the energy that surrounded his space, like a heavy black cloud. His eyes told similar stories to her own; heavy baggage weighing down his eyelids, unless of course it could have been the alcohol. However, it was clear the guy was troubled, simply because she’d seen that look on many faces before. Witnessed it on the familiar face she’d seen in the mirror almost every day.

Before James could even see her move, she was settling on a stool a seat away from him, dropping her bag on the seat between them and her little pink wine cooler on the bar top.

He observed her, his brows knitted together as she settled nearly beside him, not acknowledging his presence. She took a gulp of her drink, putting it back down but holding it with both her hands.

Her voice smooth as fresh honey filled his ears.

“Penny for your thoughts?”

In ultimate shock and befuddlement, his head swiveled back to the young girl quickly, his face baring his reaction.

She looked at him almost like she knew him, like she’d seen him around before. There was a possibility she knew who he was, but judging by her outward appearance, he would never take her for a fan of Metallica. Or any metal for that matter.

Don’t judge a book by its cover, of course. But if he was a betting man, she’d most likely be jamming in her car to Peggy Lee, Bonnie Tyler, or maybe even Heart if she were to dabble in any rock genre.

He wondered how he’d even looked approachable. Most people said he’d had an intimidating demeanor, that’s also probably when he’d be around friends and had to put on that mask in order to hide his truest expression, the result of years of depression he never felt he could actually talk about. Maybe that’s the expression she was seeing?

James’ face softens and he shakes his head, grabbing his beer and muttering quietly.

“No thanks.” He takes a sip, looking ahead at nothing. Anything but her burrowing stare.

She hums in response, leaning back in her seat and holding the bottle close to her chest as she looks ahead with him. She remains silent for a few moments, before continuing.

“You know, psychology has proven bottled up emotions can only escalate before they disappear.”

She takes a sip of her drink.

James sighs. “Look, I’m not entirely in the mood to unload my baggage onto a stranger, much less talk at all. So please.”

He hates having to shut her down this way, but the thought of unraveling everything in his brain seemed too tedious to do. Especially with a stranger, somehow that just seemed even harder and made less sense.

She doesn’t back down though.

“See, but that’s just it. I’m a stranger. Who would I be to judge your issues, perhaps I’m just here to listen.”

She doesn’t seem to take a hint. James rubs his hand over his face and groans, but she doesn’t stop there.

“Look, I’m not saying you have to ‘unload your baggage’. Just the details that are bugging you, right now. Tell me what brought you here.”

She adds, taking a sip and looking at him with wide inquisitive eyes.

He rests his forearms on the edge of the bar and looks at her with bewilderment.

“Do you always just walk up to random people and push them to tell you their problems? It’s kinda rude.”

She shrugs, unfazed by his comment. “Only when they look like they really need it. Especially when they claim they don’t.”

He couldn’t comprehend the logic behind it, not completely. Maybe it was her boldness that he struggled to process. Normally the women he encountered were more reserved, only spoke to him when spoken to, waited their turn. This strange girl on the other hand not only initiated conversation, but quite literally jumped to the nitty-gritty. She was intriguing, but ultimately weird. In an inexplainable way, he was drawn to that. He felt anyone else probably would have been intimidated or freaked out, but in all honesty there was nothing inherently threatening about her.

He looks away from her again. “Well, I don’t. But thanks for the concern.” He concluded in attempts to end the conversation.

But of course, that wasn’t the end for her.

“Okay, okay…” She twirls the bottles bottom edge on the wood surface, for a few beats, the echo of a country song fills the silence.

“How about a dance?”

With his arms crossed his head twists to her, giving her a stunned grimace.

“A what?”

“A dance.” She repeats.

“With a complete stranger…?”

She only nods with an insistent smile on her face.

He shakes his head. “You aren’t right in the head lady.”

She snorts and mutters, “No need to remind me.”

He sighs, turning away from her again as she resumes the offer.

“One dance, what’s the worst that could happen?” She insists, taking a sip.

James scoffs, “I don’t know, you murder me?”

She nearly chokes on her wine cooler, wiping the spilled liquid from her face with her wrist.

“Do I honestly look like I’m capable of that? And if I was going to murder you, I’d at least make sure the bar was busier so it would be less obvious.”

He raises his eyebrows and nods, “You just confirmed you are more than capable.”

She rolls her eyes and props an elbow on the bar, “Oh, come on. I’m obviously not trying to murder you. I’m just in the mood for a little spontaneity and you look like you could use it too. You seem like a spur-of-the-moment kinda guy!”

“Spur-of-the-moment? Me?” He points his finger to his chest, baffled.

She nods again, “Mhm.” as she leans closer, her eyes plead, face resembling a kicked puppy as she resumes softly “Come on… one song. If you totally hate it, I’ll leave this bar, never to be seen again.”

Shaking his head, he huffs as he looks down in thought. She was incredibly persistent, but not aggressive. He’d be lying if he didn’t think she was cute, and as he’s mentally admitted, intriguing. Besides, sitting at the bar turned out to be incredibly uninteresting now that she was here. He also never realized how lonely he’d felt until she invaded his bubble of dwelling.

With a sigh of defeat, he reached for the pint and brought it to his lips, chugging down the rest of the brew in several gulps. He places the glass down with a thud, wipes his mouth with his sleeve and stands as he looks to her.

“One dance.” He finally agrees, as she stands with a smile and holds her hand out for him to take.

She guides him to the jukebox, slipping in a couple quarters and searches for a specific song.

James watches fixedly as she presses the arrow button, flipping through the guide with intent, almost as if she already had a song in mind.

“Ah! Here we go.” She presses in a number combination and turns to him. “Lead the way to the dance floor, good sir.” She says in a goofy English accent. He scoffs in amusement and takes her hand again, gently dragging her to the center of the floor. The opening instrumental of Take It to the Limit by the Eagles begins humming through the speakers surrounding the bar.

He couldn’t believe he was doing this.

All alone at the end of the evening,

And the bright lights have faded to blue,

I was thinkin’ ‘bout a woman

Who might have loved me

I never knew…

James takes her hand in his and hesitantly places his hand on her waist. She resists the urge to snicker at his stiffness and rests her free hand on his shoulder. They sway, the motion forced and awkward.

Stepping a little closer, she murmurs softly, “Just loosen up, pretend I’m someone you know…”

He sneers, “Pft, yeah, okay.”

A soft beguiled giggle escapes her as she smiles and adjusts her whole forearm on his upper back, shuffling a few inches little closer and laying her head against his shoulder.

You know I’ve always been a dreamer

spent my life runnin’ ‘round

And it’s so hard to change

Can’t seem to settle down

But the dreams I’ve seen lately

He struggled at the idea of her being able to feel his heart pounding in his chest, partially from bemusement, but also from the foreign feeling of physical contact so intimate. He couldn’t remember how long it had been since he’d felt something similar to comfort like this. Her touch was almost angelic with how gentle she was. It was also hard to miss how heavenly she smelled with her head directly below his chin. He glanced down at her soft hair, brows knitted together in confusion at his predicament and how different he felt compared to what he’d expected. How does he process this feeling? It wasn’t feelings for her; no. It was ease, safe, warm.

Keep on burnin’ out and turnin’ out the same,

So put me on a highway,

And show me a sign,

And take it to the limit one more time

Slowly he begins to give in to the feeling; slackening his jaw and dropping his shoulders a little bit. She must have felt it, because she readjusted her head and arm slightly in response, seeming to get more comfortable against him. He teeters on the decision before carefully migrating his hand toward the middle of her lower back, lowering his face to hover over the top of her head, a sudden urge to be closer. He could feel his heart settle, slowing the thrums inside of him like turning off a running motor.

You can spend all your time making money

You can spend all your love making time

If it all fell to pieces tomorrow

Would you still be mine?

It was crazy wasn’t it? Who could he tell this to if he were to tell someone? The thought of explaining this story, accepting a dance with a complete stranger, it made him feel unhinged. He continuously wondered if this was just some dream. He may be buzzed, but his judgement of reality was better than to believe that. He could feel her; her smaller hand rested in his, the warm head leaned against his shoulder as her fingers wrapped onto it. To further convince himself it was all real, he’d decided to move his hand on her waist to feel the lacy fabric of her dress as it trailed to wrap his entire arm around her as he rested his cheek atop her hair to smell her sweet shampoo.

And when you’re looking for your freedom

Nobody seems to care

And you can’t find the door

Can’t find it anywhere

When there’s nothing to believe in

Now James could confirm he hadn’t felt this content in a while, at least not from a person. Music definitely helped, every time he performed with the guys was the only true moments he could free himself from the tribulations of his conscience. Her hold was like a hug he was too stubborn to ask for, but knew he’d genuinely needed. He would be too embarrassed to admit he needed any form of tender consolation to anyone who actually knew him; that’s just not what men do, they keep on keeping on until some type of saving grace comes along and makes it better. But with a stranger, apparently you don’t have to say anything.

Still you’re coming back

You’re running back

You’re coming back for more

So put me on a highway,

And show me a sign,

And take it to the limit one more time

As the songs continues to repeat the lyrics, he knows it’s coming to an end soon. So, he closes his eyes to savor the moment. Perhaps she was angel, heaven sent for him in his time of need. The only exception he’d make for believing in the higher power after his childhood.

He hadn’t the slightest clue if this was just a one-time thing, but just in case, he finally pushed his guard aside and let go of her hand, moving it to wrap his other arm around her upper back. It took her by surprise, feeling him melt in her hold, but she went with it and mirrored his actions and wrapped her arm around his torso. It had turned into a swaying hug between strangers, who genuinely needed it.

After a minute the song finally ended, fading out in reverse crescendo to silence. However, neither of them let go. Gently she lifts her head to peer up at him, causing him to return her relaxed gaze.

“Do you wanna stop?” She murmurs softly.

As another slow song plays through the speakers, he simply shakes his head, afraid that if he spoke, he’d choke up. She can see an emotion in his eyes, one he probably doesn’t understand, but he seemed content enough to continue holding her close.

She nods, smiling warmly at him. “Okay.” She whispers, gingerly placing her head back to his shoulder as they continue swaying to the music. The embrace between the two was sincere, a coziness they’d sought in each other’s presence.

After a few more songs, the girl needed to leave, bidding him goodbye with a few final words of wisdom. “All wars eventually end, but it won’t always be pretty. In the meantime, keep fighting, yet seek peace without hurting yourself.”

That night, James lay in his bed restless, thinking about the nameless girl who had made him feel okay for the first time in a while. Even if it was just for a few hours.

She had taken all the problems he never told her about and placed them on the back burner. Like it was nothing, like she just had to look into his eyes to see everything and understand.

It felt like finally taking a seat after running a marathon for most of his life. He eventually fell asleep to the lyrics playing on repeat in his head…

So put me on a highway

And show me a sign

And take it to the limit one more time.

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