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amesstm · 3 years

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haikyuu boys’ anonymous confessions

a/n: inspired by my coworkers telling me their dirty secrets. Not all are true ofc… hopefully. But think of this like we’re asking them a secret of theirs and they answer hehe

Hinata: Sometimes I really buff myself up in front of the mirror and act like I’m a volleyball star. Don’t laugh! It’s completely normal! ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ

Kageyama: I’m actually lactose intolerant. People complain about the smells from the bathroom… and then I blame it on Hinata (*´-`)

Tsukkishima: I have that inflatable dinosaur costume. The best part is that no one can see my face so they don’t know it’s me. You better not tell anyone of this. -_-b

Yamaguchi: I’ve given individual names for each freckle on my face. They keep me company when Tsukki is being edgy again :(

Yachi: Hinata’s really cute. Kiyoko-san is gorgeous. If polyamory was acceptable, I’d have them both.

Daichi: I’ve gotten so many grey hairs from the first-years. Suga says that I should embrace them, but I use hair dye now.

Sugawara: If we didn’t have to wear uniforms, I would absolutely wear that hot pink outfit Lil Nas X wore. It would be fabulous on me. （＾Ｏ＾☆♪

Asahi: Even my parents’ have a shrine of me and not Jesus. It’s really embarrassing to explain to guests... especially on Christmas

Kiyoko: Tanaka is cute sometimes. Sometimes.

Ennoshita: this isn’t my secret, but I had to tell Nishinoya that 3+3 did not equal 8 if you just mashed them together...

Tanaka: I might’ve looked at some tentacle stuff…

Nishinoya: Sometimes I tell girls I have more centimeters than I really do

Atsumu: Haha, jokes on you! I’m not even a real blonde.

Osamu: I’m adopted. Jk. But I wish I was. (¬_¬)

Suna: I’ve sold off Atsumu and Osamu’s used water bottles before. You’d be surprised by how much they sell for

Kita: Everyone asks me about the secret behind my hair. I was just born with it

Aran: The only thing that makes Atsumu and Osamu’s fights somewhat amusing are imaginary punch sound effects from the 50s. It makes the fight more childish than it already was in the first place.

Ushijima: I didn’t know why so many people called me beefy until Tendo told me. He said that they thought I was a delicious piece of meat??? Now I’m concerned why there’s so many cannibals around me.

Tendo: I can tell anyone’s personality based on their favorite flavor of chocolate. Personally, I think that anyone who likes dark chocolate is quiet and reserved. Wakatoshi likes dark chocolate so there’s clearly a correlation.

Semi: Girls like Ushijima’s groans so much that I might use them for a soundtrack one day. Tendo’s Baki Baki song will be used for a song when I’m feeling angsty

Kuroo: I hate how everyone thinks that I’m a chemistry nerd. And I mean - I am, but if I were to murder someone with chemicals, it’d be way too obvious who it was.

Kozume: If there’s a way to make money off of both video games and my body, I would do it.

Yaku: Some people say that short people are closer to hell. That’s why I bully Lev. If I’m going there anyways, I’ll at least make the journey worthwhile. ʅ（◞‿◟）ʃ

Lev: Everything in Japan isn’t really suited for tall people. I’ve dropped my soap in the shower and accidentally hit my head against the shower head so many times that I might’ve sustained brain damage :/ Wait- don’t tell Yaku that!

Oikawa: I sell some of the baked goods that my fans give me. I can’t afford to lose this figure (^з^)-☆

Iwaizumi: I’ve seen Oikawa look at my arms too many times now. I might need to send him off to Argentina or something

Matsukawa: People only recognize me as the less-buff Iwaizumi. Kinda hurts

Sakusa: I had to teach myself not to shove people away when they hug me. I still shove Atsumu away, though

Terushima: I thought about getting a ring on my dick but then I didn’t have the balls to actually do it.

©amesstm on tumblr // pls do not plagiarize, steal, or repost my content w/o permission!! BUT likes & reblogs are highly appreciated :)

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nightmarewritings · 3 years

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Thomas Hewitt General Headcanons

Haven’t been able to get this beefy boy off my mind since I watched the remake movies, so here’s a few headcanons I have about him.

Smarter than he's given credit for, Thomas may not have become a scientist, but he could've gone on to nicer things than "chainsaw murdering cannibal" if he had been given the encouragement and resources.

Sarcastic as fuck, this dude speaks mainly through eye movement and body language, and has perfected his eye roll.

Thomas sometimes just likes to sit, relax, and watch the piglets and chickens in the house go about their day. Will give the piglets belly rubs and play with them, but is still detached enough to do his job.

Really enjoys rock music, including The Rolling Stones, Led Zeppelin, Black Sabbath, and Alice Cooper. Started headbanging before it was really a big thing. But he'll listen to pretty much anything without much fuss.

If he really concentrates on it and tries hard, his handwriting can be really pretty. But he never really tries with it so it always looks like chicken scratch.

His earliest crush was on a nurse who he saw as a little kid, she gave him a piece of candy and didn't seem too bothered by his face. Very short lived, a weekend at the most, since he was like seven.

Finds both women and men aesthetically beautiful.

Spends a lot of time thinking about if he had a family of his own and would love to be a father someday.

Would really like to try making homemade cheese.

Rarely ever gets to go, but he likes camping out in the woods.

#Thomas Hewitt #texas chainsaw massacre #leatherface #slashers #headcanons #Lite Work

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ask-harvester · 2 years

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🐷 If you were arrested right now, what would your charges be?

Oh boy, that one’s a fucking doozy.

Let’s see… I have a body count now, I don’t know how many people I’ve killed but whatever the case is, that’s a big beefy charge of first degree murder. If I didn’t outright kill them, I’m most definitely wracking up assault charges too. The cannibalism is probably not a great look either so…

I’ve caused property damage, I’ve trespassed, I’ve done acts of vigilantism, and I’ve beat up cops before so yeah. Not nearly as bad as the cannibalism or the murders but still.

- 🥩

#pax parker #answered #spider man au #spiderverse #spidersona #cannibalism tw #death tw

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absoluteindulgence · 4 years

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How the Boys Give/Recieve

A/N: GOOD EVENING/GOODNIGHT Y'ALL IT'S 3AM WHERE I AM LOL. TAGS: @royaltywritesstuff, @burnedbyshoto, @ikinabi . I HAD ANOTHER NAUGHTY HEADCANON IDEA AND WANTED TO SHARE THEM WITH YOU GUYS. THIS HC IS LONG AF, SORRY IN ADVANCE BUT ENJOY THE FOOD. THE CHARACTERS ARE AGED UP (18+). THANK YOU FOR THE SUPPORT.

☀️🌞MIRIO🌞☀️

Give:

My baby is sweet and kind! Hella, eager to eat you like his last meal!

Will tell you to pee before and after sex (because he cares).

After you come out of the bathroom, there are towels for your body and pillows for your head. (He's always prepared).

He gets cocky when you get comfortable on the bed, telling you, “You’re gonna need the pillows big time.” You don’t even bother asking why, but your imagination roams.

When he lays you down, he grazes your legs lightly. It’s therapeutic but also makes your senses aware and sensitive to his touch. Mirio is a little impatient to taste you, so he won't tease you longer than 30 seconds.

This dude will literally whisper "ITADAKIMASU" to your pussy. You're going to melt.

“Hey Sunshine, I’m sorry I lied to you. Remember how I told you I love to eat Ramen, it turns out that’s my second love. My first is you.”

Melt, reform, then EXPLODE.

His kisses are littered all between your inner thighs, reminding you how wonderful you are. Goes on to call you his Sunshine and Sunflower.

He's hella skilled because you taught him what you liked. He always pays attention to your body. From your breathing to the way your thighs shake.

His tongue on your clit is a signature of, many swivels, sucks, and spelling "I love you."

Receive

He’s a beefy boi, so imagine what’s underneath the underwear. Change your hero name from Lemillion to LePacking, honey

He's very enthusiastic, damn near antsy all from you just touching or staring at his piece.

He calls his cock "Your Love Rod" or "Man muscle" I'M CACKLING

It's really all jokes, but if you do say it while stroking him, dick gon twitch something crazy.

He gets all shy when you’re talking to him before placing your mouth on his tip. Jokingly tell him, “Your precum is enough to put in a cup, baby.” His face is gonna be RED.

Enveloping his cock in your mouth was trouble at first, but now you gobble him up like a thick ass banana. He’s always vocal, from light moans to deep groans. Very loud at times, groaning your name, telling you, “Damn, you’re so fucking good at this.” He’s usually out of breath.

He likes to grab your hair or the back of your head and apply a little pressure. He won’t always do it, but he knows you like the contact. Mirio’s eyes will occasionally be closed as his muscles tense.

Sometimes you'll say, “Focus on me," and as soon as your eyes meet, you suck him off like a jolly rancher. His face is stuck in surprise and lust.

Bonus: Also, sidebar because thanks to @coconutnunnicorn , I will add that this fool does come home one day with that funny ass elephant hammock g-string, and it makes for a weird night. You spend an hour laughing, trying to breathe air back into your body, but that goes nowhere. He makes the noise, and you fucking lose it all over again. Imagine Mirio singing the chorus to Work It by Missy Elliot. We really love this dork lmao

❄SHOUTO🔥

Give:

His hands are so skilled, whether it's to massage your back, feet, or hands. So imagine how it feels when he massages your inner thighs.

Its the most sensual feeling imaginable. Shouto takes pleasure in pleasing you since you do for him in so many ways.

He doesn't just focus on your clit because that's not the only way of pleasure (he looked it up on google and tried new methods on you)

He likes to lick your inner and outer lips (labia majora and minora) since it shocks you, sometimes you'll hear a low chuckle and die on the inside from the heat of his mouth fanning over you.

His kisses to your clit are just as passionate as if he was kissing the lips on your face. He doesn't hold back from massaging your inner thighs, either.

He loves to squeeze and kiss them might leave a couple of hickies after stimulating you.

His thick fingers are always hooked inside you, waiting for your walls to clench around him.

Your moans are chaotic cries as you whisper or shout his name.

Receive

So you pretend like you don't know what you're doing with him at times since his size is abnormally thicc. You tease him saying he can't fit in your mouth.

Shouto is so fucking sassy, so he looks at you like, "Oh yeah? And yet you called me during your break telling me to shove it down your throat."

You giggle while rubbing your hands down his chest, taking tiny licks at his shaft. They start gentle and rise to be longer. Your tongue circles his tip and boom, you’re deepthroating him.

His eyes shoot the deepest level of lust you can fathom as you give him eye contact. A cheeky smile creeps upon his face as he praises you.

“You take me so well” headass

Suck his tip like a Capri sun, and his toes will curl, but if you swallow his whole cock, he might lose control, and his quirk goes off. How do that D*ntyne Fire and Ice taste?

😈SHINSOU👿

Give:

Ultimate tease, swear to our lord and savior, cory in the house.

He likes to overstimulate you, lightly pressing his hands into your inner thighs, repeatedly saying that you're good enough to eat. Kissing your hip bones as he leaves hickeys and love bites from your belly button to above your knees.

"All of a sudden, I think I'm a cannibal" That line is gonna make you look at him with worry until his warm tongue meets with your awaiting bundle (compliments to Lyssa lmao)

Your moans make him suck and swivel faster until you release.

Your body heaves up and down fast as you try to regain your composure.

Shinsou is the type to close your thighs on his neck or face then ask, "You think we're done, Kitten?"

He gets back to business, and in between licks on your overstimulated clit, he says, "I - don't - think - you’re - loud - enough." His finisher move to end all your orgasms is spelling your name because you’re all he thinks about.

Waking up the morning after, your voice is gone, but he's already making you tea and your favorite breakfast.

Receive:

THICKY WITH THE STIFFY UH

He listens to 69 once, and that’s how he initiates head with you almost every time.

You wanna slap the shit out of him but take it out on his cock instead. Which he likes.

His cock is long with a decent girth. Like when you slap it up with your hands or lips, usually, he bites his own lips watching you do it. His dick twitches wild when you gargle him.

He likes to see how long you can keep eye contact, especially if he’s pulling your hair. I feel like he doesn’t mind your teeth grazing his skin because it’s a testament to how big he is in your mouth.

He’s disgusting in the sense where he likes you to spit all on his dick, “Wet it up nicely, Kitten.”

💥KATSUKI💥

Give:

Everything is a damn competition for this bastard. How many times can you cum? How fast will your legs shake? How many times will you pull his hair?

He pays close attention to your reactions.

He has a big mouth and knows how to use it.

So many times you'll tell him he's a shit talker and he grabs his junk saying, "And you know I can back it up. Now get on the fucking bed".

Sometimes he's rough on purpose because you react a little differently. And it's not the awkward way, but sometimes when you tell him to keep going, he goes beast mode on the pussy.

Grabbing your breasts or thighs, grunting as he eats. He licks your entire vaginal area. The first time he did it, you laughed because it tickled, but now it's become an overwhelming sensation for you.

You grab his hair with your thighs/legs tightening around his head, trying to push him away. But he grabs your thighs tighter, spreading you as wide as possible while holding them down.

You try to struggle, but he says, "Princess, I'm trying to eat. Are you going to let me?" After you nod, he says, "Then open your fucking legs, or I won't let you cum."

After you behave, he starts slow and but gradually gets faster and acts more ravenous than before.

He likes to spell out his (full) name fingers deep in you because, like I said, he fancies a challenge.

Receive:

He can be a real roughhouse at times

This asshole doesn’t care how you decide to suck him off, he’s a meaty big boi and loves threatening you with his dick.

EXAMPLE: “Bakugou, why the fuck did you delete the new episode of my favorite show.” “Because I’m tired of you fucking whining about you missing it.” “Well, how the fuck does this change what I’m going through?” “You’ll be quieter.” “Fuck you, Ratsuki” “Say it louder so that I fuck your mouth.” As you’re about to say something, he throws you DVDs of the whole fucking season. Before you can thank him, this entitled little bitch says, “You want an apology, you can suck it out the tip of my cock.”

Usually, you would get mad, but you happily oblige yanking his shit damn near from his body.

He curses you out, but you end up stroking him, a hand gripped tightly around his shaft with your mouth like a sturdy suction cup. He is surprised by your force as he adjusts while seated. He wants to hold your head down but wants to see how far you go without his help, shit-talking in the midst of it all, “Yeah, baby, I told you, you’ll be quieter.”

You roll your eyes and lick his tip gently.

Any other time he's not an asshole, you are a PRO with his THICC stick of dynamite. Sucking, Spitting, SLURPING (BECAUSE HE LOVES THE SOUNDS) HE THINKS HE'S BETTER THAN SPAGHETTI OR ANY POPSICLE YOU PUT IN YOUR MOUTH. You joke about how he's not gluten-free, and he will groan, making you laugh and making him nut.

Whether on purpose or accident, he says, "Here's your new skincare." If you know, you know.

Bonus: First, imagine your neighbors hearing this little argument, 0-100000 real quick. Second, imagine making Bakugou nut after you’ve over-stim him just because you laughed. Does that make him sensitive, or just hearing you laugh made him reach his limit? Also, I got the apology line from the artist ChuuRingo on Twitter!

🌋EIJIROU🌋

Give:

This man is so fucking gentle.

The first time he went downtown, he asked what you liked and wanted to know how you felt. The second time, did everything right/everything you wanted without asking.

Now every time after, your body is left in shakes and sweats.

He loves to leave you in a puddle.

Kiri loves to climb on top of you, kiss you all the way down to your sweetness. Breathy gasps escape your lips when his lips make contact with your neck, collarbone, the top of your breasts.

Sometimes he gets sidetracked playing with your nipples but still trails his kisses down your stomach till he reaches his right destination.

Kiri tries different techniques all the time, they all work wonders on you. He is so needy for your moans and touches. Rubs you wherever his hands will roam, his body worship coming into play.

He’s a little crazy because he loves when you squeeze his head between his thighs. Let him know you’re close to coming. There have been times where he almost passed out, he never told you. Kiri said that he would be happy to die between your legs, though. You jokingly tell him that’s manly but really apologize for having so much orgasmic strength.

Kiri loves to spell your name and his, his tongue is exceptionally fast so you can only imagine that he’s been practicing to do that with you for a long time.

Receive:

He loves to look at your lips and reminds you that you're so beautiful while giving him the good old skippity mmmmmbop

He's so cliche at times that he will tell you, "Damn, I haven't activated my quirk, yet I feel unbreakable already."

Cornball city, Mirio, and Kiri put your clown wigs back on.

He's so confident in your skills as he lays on the bed you share, spread the fuck out while you crawl in between his legs.

You tease him a little, but he's patient. He knows you're building up suspense or staring at his huge cock. Knowing that you love his size, girth, and the color of his throbber.

There are times that after he finished making you cum through oral that your orgasms lubricate your throat and relax your jaw. So it leads to super happy fun times for Mr. Red Daddy Riot.

Now you, like a challenge. Challenging how strokes, how many sucks, how many times you can lick his balls before he nuts.

His body shudders no matter where you put your tongue.

If you swallow, he goes above and beyond for you for the next six-eight sessions, or even if you seriously tap out. If you spit, he's gonna cuddle you into oblivion as you guys have a cheat day date with ice cream.

Finished 2:30AM EST 1.30.2020

#Mirio Imagines #Shouto Imagines #Shinsou Imagine #Katsuki Imagine #Kirishima Imagine #mha hcs #bnha smut #smut text #absoluteindulgence headcanons #Mar's Writings

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luminousscammer · 3 years

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Hq boys as killers from slasher/horror movies <3

note: I just did the ones that I could find a direct relationship with the character or I could see the boys doing such things, also, take this as a horror movies recommendation lol

Bokuto Kōtarō ➜ Jason Voorhees (Friday the 13th, 1980) Beefy boi who loves his mother and will do everything she says.

Tendō Satori ➜ Leatherface (The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, 1974) Childhood trauma and a dysfuncional family made him lost his mind.

Yaku Morisuke ➜ Chucky (Child's Play, 1988) Small, evil and ready to kill.

Iwaizumi Hajime ➜ Ash Williams (Evil Dead, 1981) Not exactly a bad guy, but will definitely fight spirits and demons to save those who loves, even if it means having to replace his arm with a chainsaw.

Suna Rintarō and Atsumu Miya ➜ Ghostface (Scream, 1996) Partners in crime, killing and sowing terror for the laughs, just guy being dudes. (If u saw the movie u kno why I put two)

Aone Takanobu ➜ Michael Myers (Halloween, 1978) Another beefy boi, doesn't know how to open doors so he just goes right through them, will stare stalk you from the distance in silence, never speaks.

Kuroo Tetsurō ➜ Seth Brundle (The Fly, 1986) A brilliant but eccentric scientist begins to transform into a giant fly after something goes wrong with an experiment. (This movie can be GROSS so watch it with caution)

Daichi Sawamura ➜ Maniac Cop (Maniac Cop, 1988) Nothing much to say here, just a dead cop killing random people because he can.

Goshiki Tsutomu ➜ The Boyfriend (Graduation Day, 1981) You killed my girlfriend and now I kill you. Very sweet of him if you ask me.

Shirabu Kenjirō ➜ The Surgeon (Hospital Massacre, 1981) You broke his heart, didn't like it, now he has to kill you. (Resentful mf)

Yamaguchi Tadashi ➜ Angela (Sleepaway Camp, 1983) An insane criminal wanders the rooms and showers of a strict summer camp. (I don't want to spoil it so much, just watch it)

Sakusa Kiyoomi ➜ Freddy Krueger (A Nightmare on Elm Street, 1984) Kills inside dreams so he doesn't get dirty, that's it.

Shigeru Yahaba ➜ Norman Bates (Psycho, 1960) A momma's boy with an Oedipus complex and a taxidermy collection is scary enough without the body count. (Everytime I look at him I see the word "MOMMY" idk)

Akaashi Keiji ➜ Jack Torrance (The Shinning, 1980) Your average writer. Accepts a job on a hotel in hopes of getting over his writer block. Not having any kind of inspiration, makes everything go downhill.

Kita Shinsuke ➜ Hannibal Lecter (Hannibal, 2001/Hannibal (tv series) 2013) more the series tbh WITHOUT THE CANNIBALISM okay. A cultured, refined man with exquisite manners and good behavior, as well as a lover of art, classical music and good cuisine. But what manifests in more private instances is a cynical, manipulative behavior with a certain tendency to punish with varying severity what he considers "bad manners." (Ngl, I'd let him manipulate me)

Kyōtani Kentaro ➜ Ben Willis AKA The Hook Killer (I Know What You Did Last Summer, 1997) Some teens killed him and left without saying anything? Bitch, you better bet he will hunt them down.

Hanamaki Takahiro ➜ Candyman (Candyman, 1992) The classic urban legend that has terrified kids. Metaphors for urban decay and civil unrest surround this unsettling story. (he probably be like "ay, u called, ready to die? 🤙🏻")

Daishō Suguru ➜ Pinhead (Hellraiser, 1987) Intelligent, and bone-chilling. A charismatic and eloquent leader with compassion for his men. After suffering a mental breakdown, however, he lost faith in the human race. He’s terrifying because he’s fully aware of what he’s doing. (There aren't many deaths in the movie, but the few there are are very bloody, so if gore is not your thing don't watch it)

Oikawa Tōru ➜ Patrick Bateman (American Psycho, 2000) A successful man obsessed with competition and perfection, who uses the most expensive men's cosmetics, gymnastic equipment, solarium and other aesthetic machinery to achieve an athletic and well-groomed body, a material identifier of social success.

Ushijima Wakatoshi ➜ Anton Chigurh (No Country For Old Men, 2007) I know is not a horror movie or a slasher, but it still pretty good Kills without compassion or remorse, but always with deliberation. He has his own set of morals, however twisted they may be. While he does not kill at random or without purpose, his reasons are at times abstract.

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grailfinders · 4 years

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Fate and Phantasms #51: Sakata Kintoki

Today on Fate and Phantasms, we’re building Mama Raikou’s golden boy and lover of all things golden, Sakata Kintoki! Kintoki is a Sorcerer/Barbarian with a level of druid(we had to get Speak with Animals from somewhere), with flashy attacks and a golden personality.

Check out the level-by-level breakdown below the cut, or the golden summary over here.

Race and Backround

Sakata Kintoki is half-youkai half-dragon, so definitely not a human for once. We’ll make him the most golden of playable races, the Gold Dragonborn. This gives him +2 Strength, +1 Charisma, Fire Resistance, and a Breath Weapon that deals 2d6 fire damage in a 15′ cone, with a dexterity save to take half damage. You can use it once per day, and it has a save DC of 8+your constitution modifier + your proficiency. That number’s going to come up a lot, so write it down.

Kintoki was raised by a witch out in the mountains, so he’s an Outlander, getting proficiency in Athletics and Survival. Turns out having a cannibal for a mother seriously stunts your social growth as a kid.

Stats:

Your highest stat is going to be your Strength. You saw that pic at the top of this post, right? He’s clearly pretty beefy. Second to your strength is your Constitution, your golden body is doing you many favors here. Your eyes are beautiful enough to distract oni, and you’re also a really nice guy overall, so your Charisma is third. Dexterity is fourth; it’s not bad, but we need other stuff more. Your Wisdom is fifth: animals tend to like you, but you also have a habit of killing them. Finally, dump Intelligence. This isn’t because of your Madness Enhancement; you just never had a proper education, bar one from Raikou who is another berserker.

Class Levels:

1. Barbarian 1: Kintoki is (surprise surprise) a barbarian! Your golden muscles give you an Unarmored Defense based on your dexterity can constitution, and you can Rage to resist physical damage, gain advantage on strength checks, and deal extra damage with strength based attacks.

First level barbarians are proficient in Strength and Constitution saves, and two barbarian skills. You can literally talk to animals, so Animal Handling is a shoe-in. You also hunt them, which is pretty intimidating, so Intimidation is also a good pick.

For weapons, grab a Battleaxe. Your weapon might not be as big as herc’s, but you can charge it up with the golden power of lightning! Later.

2. Sorcerer 1: Your dad was a dragon, and your race only gave fire powers, so you had to know this was coming. In your story he was a red dragon, but we’ll have to change things around to get lightning powers. Your dad wasn’t that golden, both in the sense that he’s Bronze here, and in the sense that the only time he shows up in your story is when you’re conceived.

Having a bronze Dragon Ancestor doubles your proficiency (where applicable) for charisma checks involving dragons. Your Draconic Resilience gives you an extra HP when you take a sorcerer level, and gives you an unarmored AC of 13+your dexterity modifier. That doesn’t stack with your barbarian defense, but it is better than it right now.

You also get Spells at this level, cast with your charisma. At first level, you get four cantrips, and two first level spells. Booming Blade lets you charge up your ax to force enemies to stay where you can see them, dealing thunder damage if they move the turn after you hit. Friends is your first application of your special eyes, letting you charm others. Light lets you wrap an item in golden lightning to help your dumb lizard eyes see in the dark, and Shocking Grasp lets you apply a nasty surprise to those dorks who fight with a shirt on, and gets rid of their reactions.

For first level spells, Witch Bolt lets you arc your lightning at a distance, using your action to continue the attack. Expeditious Retreat lets you dash as a bonus action while concentrating, giving you a golden opportunity to blast into the thick of combat.

3. Barbarian 2: Second level barbarians can make Reckless Attacks, letting you make a golden strike this turn, but puts you in a distinctly ungolden position until your next turn. You also get a Danger Sense, giving you advantage on dexterity saving throws that you can see the cause of, like spells and traps. Seeing them might be tricky with those sunglasses though.

4. Sorcerer 2: Second level sorcerers are a Font of Magic, gaining sorcery points equal to their level that they can use to regain spell slots without rests. Speaking of spells, Charm Person lets you charm a person with those special eyes of yours. Just be careful where you point them.

5. Barbarian 3: Third level barbarians set down a primal path. Storm Herald barbarians get one of three Storm Auras, which extend out from them by 10′ and cause effects with a DC that is the same as your breath weapon (8+constitution modifier + proficiency). When you start your rage, and as a bonus action while raging, you can call down lightning on one enemy within range, forcing a dexterity save to prevent half of 1d6 Lightning damage.

6. Barbarian 4: Use your first ASI to round out your Strength for bigger hits and bump up your Wisdom by one. I promise we’re going somewhere with this.

7. Barbarian 5: Fifth level barbarians get an Extra Attack, letting you make two weapon attacks per attack action. Buster cards are great, but you have to switch it up every once in a while. Multiple attacks are good for you. You also get Fast Movement, adding 10′ to your movement speed while wearing less than heavy armor.

8. Sorcerer 3: Third level sorcerers get Metamagic, the golden feature of sorcery that lets you customize your spells. Empowered Spell lets you reroll a number of damage dice from a spell, up to your charisma modifier. Rolling a bunch of ones isn’t golden, so just don’t do it. Elemental Spell from the Class Feature Variants UA lets you swap out the acid, cold, fire, or thunder damage from a spell and replace it with lightning for only 1 sorcery point. There’s more you can do with it, but that’s what we’re using it for. Your golden soul causes all your magic to be just as golden.

For your spell, Enhance Ability makes one of your or a creature you target’s ability checks golden for up to a minute with concentration. If you choose strength, the target’s carrying capacity is doubled, dexterity lets them fall up to 20 feet without taking damage, and constitution gives them some temporary HP.

9. Barbarian 6: Sixth level storm heralds get a Storm Soul. Your golden soul lets you resist lightning damage, breathe underwater, and gives you a 30′ swimming speed. I don’t think those last two come up in FGO, but your Wikipedia article does show baby you hanging out on the back of a fish, so you’re at least good at holding your breath.

10. Sorcerer 4: Use your next ASI to bring your Wisdom up to multiclassing standards. For spells, grab the cantrip Acid Splash. All your attacks so far only target one person, so being able to lob a couple golden bombs around thanks to Elemental spell could come in handy. If you continue to insist on wearing your sunglasses indoors, you’ll also need to have Darkvision on hand if you want to see anything.

11. Druid 1: Kintoki was kind of a wild child, so why not have a bit of magic from the wilds? First level druids know Druidic, a written language indecipherable to non-druids. You also get a couple spells that are cast with wisdom. Thunderclap to make even more noise, and Resistance to make yourself just a bit tougher. You can also prepare first level spells now, but we’re just here for Speak With Animals.

12. Barbarian 7: Seventh level barbarians have a Feral Instinct, ensuring all your initiative rolls stay golden. Being surprised isn’t golden, so you can also ignore that if you rage immediately on your first turn.

13. Barbarian 8: Use your next ASI for more Constitution for better lightning, fire, and HP. Constitution’s just a really good stat for you, huh?

14. Barbarian 9: Ninth level barbarians get a Brutal Critical, letting you add 1 extra die to an attack when you roll a natural 20. You were always golden, but now you shine just a bit brighter.

15. Barbarian 10: Tenth level storm heralds have a Shielding Storm, letting you extend your lightning resistance to other creatures of your choice within your Storm Aura. Look at your party, now back to me. Now back to your party. Now your party is golden too.

16. Barbarian 11: Eleventh level barbarians go into a Relentless Rage, meaning if you drop to 0 hp while raging you can make a constitution save to not do that. A success leaves you at 1 hp, and the DC of the save goes up until your next rest.

17. Barbarian 12: Use your last ASI to bump up your Charisma for a stronger force of personality and better sorcerer saves.

18. Sorcerer 5: Fifth level dragon sorcerers have an Elemental Affinity, letting you add your charisma modifier to the damage of spells that deal Lightning damage. When casting such a spell, you can also spend 1 sorcery point to resist lightning damage for an hour, but you already do that for free.

Speaking of spells that deal lightning damage, Lightning Bolt deals a lot of lightning damage, and reaches up to 100 feet away from you, while also setting everything it hits on fire.

19. Barbarian 13: We’re almost done here, but your Brutal Critical adds another die to your golden crits.

20. Barbarian 14: With your final level, you become a Raging Storm. Sea-based storm heralds force creatures within their aura to make a strength save when hit. On a failure, they’re knocked prone. The book says it’s “as if [they were] struck by a wave”, but let’s be real for a golden moment. You’re a golden guy swinging around a big, golden ax. Of course people are gonna be falling over you.

Pros:

You have pretty good range for a berserker, with your lightning blasts covering way more ground in a turn than you could.

You resist a lot of common damage types: bludgeoning, piercing, and slashing while in a rage, and fire and lightning naturally. That’ll make your generous health pool go a long way.

Unlike most builds that focus on using one type of damage, you have a lot of regular strength to back it up. Even if you run into something with immunity to lightning damage you’ve still got a big ax to stick in its face.

Cons:

Like with Spartacus, rages and magic don’t blend together well.

Your AC is really low since it didn’t get any improvements while leveling up. Even worse, we can’t just put on better armor to deal with it thanks to that one level of druid. It’s a good thing you resist most of the damage you’ll be taking, because you’ll be taking a lot.

Your spells/spell-like abilities split up your casting abilities, so you’re not as golden as you could be at either. The saves on both your rage lightning and spell lightning aren’t bad, but they could’ve been higher if you’d have focused on just one.

Still, you don’t have to be the best, just be your best. Now go out there and make your mama proud.

Next up: We’re doing the monster mash!

#fgo #Fate Grand Order #Fate and Phantasms #dnd 5e #sakata kintoki

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h0rror-sexual · 4 years

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in the 🧚‍♀️💫mood💫🧚‍♀️ to get wrecked by a soft but strong beefy boy who is 6'8, wears a human skin mask, and a cannibal,,...,,,...,

lookin at u, Mr Hewitt 💕

#leatherface #thomas brown hewitt #my ex's name was thomas but lets 🌟disregard 🌟 that rn #thirst tag

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datorchoe · 3 years

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Aye rank your favorite Daedric Princes below and why their in that spot. I’ll go first.

Malacath: big beefy orc dad whom owns my heart.

Namira: I think her whole concept is really cool. Also I have one too many cannibal OC’s.

Sheogorath: Uncle Sheo a lil crazy but he’s neat and lowkey hot.

Peryite: Big dragon boi with some really cool lore. I’m a sucker for the underrated.

Sanguine: Shauty bhad 🤤

Jygalagg: Very underrated man. He big tall boi who deserved better.

Clavicus Vile: He like dogs so I like him.

Hircine: Big ol beefcake of a man who i stan

Nocturnal: Don’t have anything against her other than she indirectly helped killed Darien so.

Hermaeus Mora: He big brain boi. He killed Miraak which was kinda sus of him but ya know.

Azura: I kinda think she’s annoying so ion like her.

Mephala: Helped Boethiah kill Trinimac >:(

Boethiah: Kinda hate them for killing Trinimac but they chill and badass.

Vaermina: Pestered me every 2 seconds in ESO and hurt Erandur’s feelings.

Molag Bal: Was mean to Vestige and Verandis >:(

Mehrunes Dagon: Oblivion trauma. (But in that new ESO trailer he lowkey hot)

Meridia: DKDBAJSHSISBDJSGSU GIVE ME BACK DARIEN BISH!!!!!!! ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ

#daedric prince #dorc rambles

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grotesquegabby · 4 years

Note

Might be a long answer but I wanted to ask X3 What is your opinion about every single killer in DBD?

awe shiet~ here is the list and how I feel x3

GhostFace: I just played against him and seeing him run by all I could say ahh its the sexyman himself mmmmmm.. x3 I love Ghostface but I make a lot of them mad but they arent the only killer I make mad. x3 I leved mine on the switch up to level 6 but still havent played as him. I cant wait~ They do be sneaky which makes sense its Ghostface. I also like going up against him cause the sound of his knife swing is just (9 u^u)9 beautiful~

The Shape/Micheal Myers: big and beefy mmm those broad shoulders~ Its terrifying going up against him cause just like Ghostface kind of a small terror radius plus his theme music gives me feelings. Not all of them terrifying x3 lol anyway~....for some reason Ive ended up as the obsession more often with Micheal. Lucky me? x3

The Executioner/Pyramid Head: They nerfed his ass because it was too powerful, and only a few people still have that skin for pyramid head. Bring back his ass! (9 *O*)9 ahhhhh, but mm I like him, Ive been I think...moried by Pyramid head twice. ANd hes the only killer to have moried me at the moment. He moried me each time because I pissed off whoever was playing him x3 I kept being a ...distraction.

The Trapper: Ive played against some new trappers and recently some who played him really really well. Ive heard a little of his story and eee sounds like a daddys boy. Really looks up to his dad and it did not seem like a healthy role model whatsoever but im still working on getting story since I havent played as killer just yet. Gotta be in the right mind set. uwu But this is an alright killer its easy for me to avoid traps and usually get out of them if I have Feng as my character.

The Wraith: Ive had....a time with the wraith. Recently a lot of good players have been the wraith and its frustrating but this is a killer i do feel kind of bad for. I wish I knew how the wraith became the wraith and looking like how he do but his little backstory got me feeling bad for him. But damn his invisible ass be making me mad x3 Like theres a survivor right there but no you gotta come at me. maybe he knows something about me that the survivors dont i dont know x3

The Hillbilly: I dont know if Ive won against the hillbilly but his story makes me feel bad for him too. His parents got what was coming to them. But poor guy part of mes like cant we just show this killer some love and compassion and maybe he can be better ;7; but hes gotten me a lot x3

The Nurse: The nurse i find to actually be an easier killer to face cause she moves pretty slowly but the last one I faced downed two survivors and stood right by them waiting for me and the other person still standing to come heal them. I think we managed to heal them but I dont remember if we all escaped or if she got them again. uwu I also...feel for her backstory as well. shes been through so much emotionally and mentally...im not surprised about what happened to her but i feel it could have been avoided somehow...again I feel bad for her.

The Hag: another killer I feel bad for due to their backstory...but I do dislike going against her..and her charms.....Her fucking decoys scare the shit outta me and its a bitch and a half to unhook someone x3 but it does keep one on their toes. Ive only escaped her once every time after Ive died x3

The Doctor: This bitch...ive noticed playing against the Doctor usually results in camping....letting people bleed to death and being used as bait for other survivors. Usually the Doctors are assholes from what Ive seen most of the time anytime I go agaisnt a Doctor its a lot of the same tactics.

The Huntress: I feel for her story but i also dislike how she took care of the little girls she kidnapped. Like...why did they starve to death first of all...she knows what starvation is so yeah...anyway Ive faced Huntress many times. Always narrowly avoiding her thrown hachets. fun x3 Ive tricked her many times too even when she camped this one round I faced a few days back. (- =w=-) hehehe still fixed that last generator~ But shes pretty decent to go against. I think there was a time one tried to help me exit but.....didint do so good they kept dropping me by the door expecting me to get up but i was too injured for it. then the entity got me.

The Clown: hate him...one; he ugly. two: he nasty and not in the good way. Three: i dont like his outfit..its gross. four: i find his aesthetic awful. its displeasing to my eyes. It never described what he did to his victims but.....something about him just I really dont like. Could be the fact hes kind of like John wayne gacy but....something makes me feel...gross u.u So out of most of the killers besides the Doctor the Clown does make me uncomfortable. and I love clowns but not this clown.

The Spirit: Her story made me sad..and angry. Like oof....I dont have all the words to describe how I felt for her. But shes an interesting killer, ive faced her only a few times. I can hear her scream and it sounds so sad and painful though like part of me wants to run to her and be like ahhhhhhh ill scream with you, screamings cathartic. x3

The Deathslinger: faced him once? I dont think I lived...I was the distraction too many times in that round and probably got hooked near dying so x3 but his gun is cool glad I didnt get grabbed by it though. Apparently as it drags you in he walks to you.

The Oni: big~ I mean spooky x3 I like this guy. Ive faced him a few times. I dont know his story I dont think I’ve read it yet but I do like him. Is it true him and the spirit are related, if so thats neat but damn...is her family cursed or something like whaaa! its terrifying when he gets all powered up and charges. I saw him run down the map and I was shook!

The Demogorgon: the noises...mmmm. anyway x3 recently made one mad~ stayed near me while I died on the hook. But I do enjoy going up against it as long as its one of the open maps. those building maps like the school or hispital ;7; i hate it, i hate going against any killers in those type of maps.

The Plague: I personally dont like vomit x3 but I do like The Plague. shes pretty~ (- uwu-) I faced her in the hospital and died too but like x3 it was interesting. Ive never been vomited on before oh wait nevermind babies did that to me. but by an adult no never x3 her story is interesting but I also do sort of feel for her as well cause of it.

The Legion: Didnt know these were teens till you mentioned it x3 I like their masks. Every time still...i played against legion again this week and it was one of the bunny skins. x3 they got me it was the first time a legion played saw me and got me. pretty nice playing against Legion though.

The Pig: Played against her once I think i dont think i got the trap on my head but i dont fully remember. uwu seeing the little puppet made me smile~

The Cannibal: I dont really care for the movie series despite not seeing it but ive seen enough clips and heard anough to know I wont like it. Facing him is a bitch and a half with his flailing. The last few times Ive played against him everyone died.

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tillman · 5 years

Text

hi i ranked every single dark souls 1 character by who i think is the most kissable . its 79 characters all with a description of why theyre at the place theyre at with images for reference :-) its all under cut for u to enjoy.. thank u

this is all my opinion cus hehe im making the list but also im god so this is fact now .

counting down because u know what ! buildup is fun and i have to start off with everyones most favorite:

GWYN - 79

im kidding. fuck gwyn and everything he stands for. he wouldnt even be a good kisser he doesnt have FUCKING LIPS

SEATH - 78

oh you really wanna kiss the incel dragon who kidnaps ladies for his weird experiements?? yeah?? who are you, big hat logan?

EINGYI - 77

heres one i wont get hate for: this fucking asshole . die bastard . he cant even kiss his face is all infected and gross!

KAATHE - 76

he sucks.

SMOUGH - 75

not only is he too big to kiss! hes a cannibal!! hed eat you!!!! thats no kiss i want!

MANUS - 74

listen i know yall love daddies and all that but hes manipulative and not a nice person so id watch out. i GUESS hes kissable as he was a human before but def not a good kiss

BED OF CHAOS - 73

its just some vines that sometimes set on fire!! If it were still the witch of izalith she would be probally in the 20s as shes a good person who tried very hard to help the world but in this state... u cant even kiss her!

FRAMPT - 72

better than kaathe but the whole no lips and being a manipulative snake monster really throws me off and shoves him down at the bottom

FINA (GODDESS OF LOVE/BEAUTY (?)) - 71

(mentioned character - no image sorry :-( )

Listen as much as im all for love, this is love u dont want ! just trust me dont be lautrec dont do it you dont want to kiss fina listen to me. please dont kiss fina.

VINCE AND NICO - 70

way of the white members are NOTABLY unkissable but these guys. are just so boring. theyll be your white bread boyfriend as neil would say... bad kissers and bad people!

LAUTREC - 69

aw fuck wait can i make another character 69 he doesnt deserve it. anyways not only is he not over his ex (fina) hed probally gut you and steal your lunch money half way through the kiss anyways so whats the point . thats not how u treat a lover idiot

CENTIPEDE DEMON - 68

it eats your face and you die. next pleaaase

PETRUS - 67

another way of the white cleric. he at least starts off nice and he says fuck rich people but also he let that happen to rhea and i fucking hate his guts so no.

PALADIN LEEROY - 66

out of all the way of the white idiots hes the best in that he wears armor and seems cool but its the way of the white man. i cant get past that. sorry leeroy at least your armor is cool. he probably hasnt kissed someone in hundreds of years anyways

MOONLIGHT BUTTERFLY - 65

delicate ... but beautiful! i dunno how to smooch it but i def would if i could ! i dont think it can kiss back but, o well! we all have flaws

IRON GOLEM - 64

it cant kiss back but its COOL and can throw me like a javelin so like . yeehaw id smooch its little face place

UNDEAD MERCHANTS (BOTH) - 63

between moss and yulia i think they got enough on their plates! plus since theyre so hollowed, i dont think they have any lips to kiss back with!

INGWARD - 62

hes not like . bad persay but also i dont trust him after he helped with new londo. cool design tho. i wanna kiss that bird beak mask

JEREMIAH - 61

was a bullfrog, and never took off his crown long enough to kiss another person...... i feel like if he did though! oh boy!!!

Asylum Demon + Demon Firesage + Stray Demon - 60

more kissable than some bosses, but still not the greatest lips. good butts though on all of them.... so i guess thats fr u kinky people

SNUGGLY THE CROW - 59

(no image shes a crow)

please stop drawing her as an anime girl shes literally just a grow that likes warm things oh my god you freaks be nice to her

BIG HAT LOGAN - 58

hes hard to kiss around the hat! and on that note hes pretty much taken with his obsession with seath. good luck! hes nice though so better than most of this list so far

GAPING DRAGON - 57

ranked so high because past its giant underbelly of teeth and destruction is this very tiny head which i think is so funny i cant help but want to kiss its little snoot.... hehe baby

PRINCE RICARD - 56

oh now were actually getting into kissable range! ricard is a prince (maybe even of astora... kissability increase.) so his high ranking might get you some kissability points, but the hollowing is gonna lower that. 4/10 no kissable lips!

4 KINGS - 55

whats better than a prince..... a king... whats better than a king.................. 4 KINGS! just watch out for their overly anime spiky armor and the fact their in a never ending void nightmare but they do have faces so thats points above the rest!

SALAMAN - 54

(mentioned character only! sorry!)

hmmmm we dont learn much about him other than he was close with quelana and he was ............ hot! hes a pyromancer. being of the great swamp pushes him down a bit because he prolly smells like his name sake but u know what ! maybe hes cute! we cant be sure! hes in the running at least!

TAURUS DEMON - 53

hmm... bad lover.... good kisser................................................... the things i do for big beefy demon love.

GOUGH - 52

While you cant kiss gough cus all the sap in his helmet i cant bare to put him lower than he is hes just so sweet. a kiss on his helmet because i love him so much

NITO - 51

while he cant kiss back, nito deserves a kiss or two! plus he has a lot of hands so u can hold his hands and be hugged at the same time and u know what that might be just as good as a nice kiss. good on you nito!

STONE DRAGON - 50

again a non kisser........ damn beaks! the stone dragon does need a kiss though. they havent seen another living soul in years down in ash lake! so im giving them points on that alone.

VAMOS - 49

like the last two.... no lips! vamos though makes up for it in his charm and wit, and his exceptional skill in smithing! so even without lips to kiss, you still should kiss vamos! hes a good friend

ARIAMIS - 48

(mentioned !)

wow... a painter! and a skilled one at that! this man created the painted world used to keep priscilla safe and that is so noble it gives him points right off the bat! i feel like though, as an artist, he might be a bit weird about it. so watch out and be safe, but in the end, get free art and some free smooches out of him!

ELIZABETH - 47

thats my mom ... of course she gets a good cheek smooch for all her hard work keeping dusk safe!

DOMHNALL - 46

i love domhnall hes a good guy whos trying his best but also his mask is so fucking goofy i dunno if i can do it .

RICKERT - 45

as much as i think rickert would be a good kiss (hes smart, cute, and skilled!) he is trapped behind some bars willingly and probably wont let you in. i can dream though!

CEASLESS DISCHARGE - 44

if theres any boss that NEEDS a kiss its him. poor dude lost all his family and was turned into this laughing stock of a creature. youd probably burn your lips but .... please just be nice to him :-(

SHIVAS BODYGUARD - 43

ooo a strong yet silent type.... hes even cute under his mask! good kiss, but i feel like he might just care more about his actual job than a kiss ! hes dedicated !

CIARAN - 42

putting aside me knowing shed be a good kisser, i just understand she probably doesnt want a kiss right now, shes grieving over the loss of her friend and i respect her comfort. maybe a good pat on the shoulder and a cup of nice tea with her would be nice though!

PINWHEEL - 41

may seem like a weird choice to put a necromancer up so high on the list but.... honestly pinwheel needs some love. dude lost his whole family and in trying to revive them accidentally fused them to himself. while he might not be the best kisser, i honestly just wanna tell him everythings gonna be ok.

KIRK - 40

ok if you know me you KNOW how much it pains me to put kirk so low but. hes a busy guy! not only is he doing so much work to help out where he can with the fair lady, but you might just get pricked by his spiky armor while youre going in for the smooch! so, as much as he deserves a kiss for all his hard work, maybe pass until another time!

SIEGLINDE - 39

were getting there! she is just so strong... and so brave........ she may not even be undead! sieglinde is so strong and wonderful doing all that just to deliver a message to her unruly father, she deserves so many kisses! Shes got a lot on her plate though so please respect her......

BERENIKE - 38

(just mentioned!)

implied to be a huge strong knight who made it to even sens fortress! yes please !

BELL GARGOYLES - 37

hmmmmm,.......... if u can get past the whole lighting your face on fire, these are two loyal gargoyles! that seems pretty good to me!

BEATRICE - 36

a wonderful helpful witch friend! she is so nice to help you defeat flying bosses with her magic!! i love her so much! shes even cute to boot!

GIANT BLACKSMITH - 35

HE HELP ANYTIME................... I HAVE TO GIVE HIM A KISS FOR ALL HIS HARD WORK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LEGALLY I HAVE TO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

RHEA - 34

putting aside my hatred of the way of white.... rhea really is just a babey.... shes adorable and kind and just wants everyone to be ok so im won over. maybe a little forehead smooch for being such a good person!

OSCAR - 33

oh oscar. a noble, heroic, and cute knight but in the end. would he be a good kisser........ i feel yes, but maybe not so much so! hes busy focusing on being a hero you know! hes a good friend and i cant help but fall in love with nice guys

THE FAIR LADY - 32

she deserves the entire world and all i can give her is my humanity and a kiss........... sobs. i wish i could do more to ease her pain but she is so strong and wonderful! please give her a nice smooch!

QUELANA - 31

i didnt wanna separate them ........ her wonderful sister! who even taught humans pyromancies! shes smart and nice, and honestly probably needs a kiss.

MILDRED - 30

uh my notes from last night are just

so yeah! thats mildred!

CRESTFALLEN MERCHANT - 29

hes sad as fuck but also... kinda handsome! he was a knight of berenike and made it almost all of the way through sens fortress showing how skilled he is! a strong man like this (inspired by maybe the best kisser in demons souls, boirr) has to be a good kiss!

SIEGMEYER - 28

hes going through a lot right now but... how could u not think siegmeyer is kissable. thats on you man. thats your own character flaw.

OSWALD - 27

ok this might be slightly controversial but i feel like oswald would be a good kisser. if you got past his slightly weird love for velka who well get to (thats just carimites (carimians? carimfolk???)) hes nice and kind and maybe the funkiest character in dark souls

KALAMEET - 26

another cant kiss you but.... kalameet is just so cool ! very shadow the hedgehog and u know what that is NOT a bad thing. you might have a rough time trying to get there, but..... aww whos a good dragon.....

DARKMOON KNIGHTESS - 25

alright the final stretch! the darkmoon knightess is the anor londo firekeeper, and a friend of gwyndolin! shes supposed to be “ugly and shit” (real quote. i would never lie to you) but her model is so cute! defiantly kissable as fuck!

SANCTUARY GUARDIAN - 24

GOFH ITS JUST A WIDDLE KITTEY CAT........... I GIVE IT A WIDDLE KISSEY ON ITS FOREHEAD AHOWHWWAWWW BABEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ALVINA - 23

AWHAHWAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW SHES H(FADOESAGVFOSDHFSO CUET EIFEDKC LKOFIE JS I LOVE YOU FJEADFIDASHCODEUFCUSFKSDHFKSUHFC

DUSK - 22

oh yes!! the princess of a lost land...... will you be her knight in shining armor.......... oh i just love her so much. shes sweet and nice and cute and deserves a kiss or two!! please be nice to my daughter!

SHIVA - 21

hottie with cool armor and a cooler sword. since they cut his whole sidequest i can with all certianty say YES he is super kissable and is probably a great kisser

QUELAAG - 20

IGNORIGN HER GIANT SPIDER LOWERBODY........... SHES JUST DOING THIS FOR HER SISTER SHE JUST WANTS TO HELP HER POOR SISTER WHOS IN PAIN HOW COULD YOU NOT LOVE HER SO MUCH!! PLEASE KISS QUELAAG!

GRIGGS - 19

im putting griggs so high cus hes kissable in a factor unseen before...... baby factor. hes soft and nice and is just trying to find his dad! just tuck him into bed and kiss him goodnight! its what he deserves!

ARTORIAS - 18

everyone already KNOWS why artorias is a good kisser. hes nice, strong, brave, and most importantly. cool as FUCKING HELL ! HE DOES SICK ANIME FLIPS!! if you can look past the abyss slowly taking him over, youll find a good good boy who deserves a good kiss.

ANASTACIA - 17

the good firekeeper who we spend most of our time with in 1! YES of COURSE Shes kissable. she deserves SO MANY kisses for all of her hard work in keeping the firekeep shrine lit! good job anastacia im sorry lautrec is like that

VELKA GODDESS OF SIN - 16

(just mentioned!)

if her title alone doesnt bring you in, youll be pleased to know shes implied to help watch over priscilla (who well get to hold your horses) and keep the poor girl safe! a strong sense of justice and a love of crows, shes probably an amazing kiss if you can find her!

ANDRE - 15

were closing in on #1 and i just have to throw andre in here. hes so nice and strong! just . please kiss andre! he deserves some he does so much work!

PRISCILLA - 14

poor priscilla. called a monstrous crossbreed and has to hide in a painted world to stay safe from those who would hurt her. including the internet! leave her alone you freaks shes not your fetish fuel!!! she deserves a good kiss on the cheek and a hug for all she has to put up with

CRESTFALLEN WARRIOR - 13

its my list i get to put the crestfallen warrior where i want. and u know what? he would honestly be a good kiss. hes kind and helpful and never once wishes you harm, he just needs to be held tightly and kissed passionately and u know what. dont we all.

GWYNEVERE - 12

she is beautiful but .... 1 shes married and 2 shes not even real! whatever. her husband the flame god flann is at least.......... hot! haahgdaefshdfcdhswfe im so fucking funny

BLACK IRON TARKUS - 11

listen i see a big beefy dude i go “hey thats hot please kiss me” so of course tarkus is this high up hes the beefiest dude around.... right?? anyways all knights of berenike are kissable hes just the MOST kissable of the 3 named ones!

ORNSTEIN - 10

this dude kisses the son of gwyn you KNOW hes a good kiss. the golden lion armor just helps so much. we love you ornstein .....

HAVEL THE ROCK - 9

HERE HE IS ... THE BEEFIEST GUY AROUND ... this bitch uses a DRAGONS TOOTH as a huge club to bash people with if that isnt big dick energy i dont know what is. armor made of stone. heart made of gold. havel the rock please god kiss me passionately under the moonlight .

SIF - 8

oghfoghfohg puppey..................................... SMOOCHIE THE PUPPY>...........

NAMELESS KING (!?) - 7

(hes just mentioned in ds1!!)

I KNOW HES A DS3 BOSS BUT LISTEN TO ME THEY TALK ABOUT HIM SO MUCH IM ALLOWING THIS. he defected from his awful dads team to go help the DRAGONS!! thats so cool hes so kissable. would be more kissable if he wasnt kissing ornstein but thats ok . i respect them both.

MARVELOUS CHESTER - 6

this MAY just because i have a huge crush on him but also here are some good kissable things about him: his fasion, his voice that sounds like a purr, his laugh, his malice, his funny mask, him. thank you for your time.

GWYNDOLIN - 5

FINAL FIVE! heres gwyndolin. the most kissable of all of gwyns children for the sheer fact of how much work they put in to making sure people stay safe and happy. they are so kind and wonderful they deserve SO MANY kisses! good on you gwyndolin....

LAURENTIUS - 4

now heres a fun one! laurentius is one of the nicest guys u will EVER meet in any souls game. he genuinely cares about you, he loves and respects u even if u dont respect him or his skills, hes nice cute and above all: i love him . please kiss laurentius he is a nice guy who just wants the best for u..... dont be mean to him.....................

CAPRA DEMON - 3

the highest one that cant kiss back and thats for the capra demons SHEER HORNY ENERGIES. this is a demon you can fuck! thats it i have nothing else to say i just think the capra demon is funny

SOLAIRE - 2

do i seriously have to explain why solaire is so high up. not only is he nice and cares about you, hes handsome, passionate, and just a good fucking person. he is hands down one of the most kissable characters in any souls game ever! fuck yeah! go off you funky little lover boy!

and finally.

its patches.

#i made this entire list for a joke and u know what the 4 hours i spent on it for the build up was so fucking worth it i dont care #dark souls #soulsborne

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spookysnicket · 5 years

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ANON: I saw you did another dude and I was curious, can I have a matchup? I’m a beefy (cringe) 6’8 Swedish (ethnically wise) dude. I’m pansexual. I have light brown hair that’s always pulled into Viking-braids (don’t worry, got the beard to match going) my eyes are medium green ig. I’m blunt, driven, calm, reserved and hot headed. I have a bunch of tattoos (working on a full sleeve). I love the horror genre and heavy metal. Aside from all of that, at the end of the day I really just like cuddles.

---

(Of course you can hon! I had a blast with this matchup too, so I hope that the wait was worth it! Matchup below the cut!)

I match you with Thomas Hewitt

🍴 You’re tall just like Tommy! He’s roughly 6’5, you’re 6’8- it’s kinda strange to him at first, seeing someone who’s ever bigger than him. You’re so nice though! Maybe he’s not such a monster after all

🍴 Tommy loves the beef! (Bad joke sorry) He’s all around just a big boy, so having someone around who looks like him? Confidence boost!

🍴 Teach him how to braid! His fingers are pretty chonky but he’s surprisingly nimble. Warning, this may result in foreign objects being tied into your braids as decorations

🍴 After you teach him, if you look closely, you can notice Tommy sews his new masks with familiar braid patterns

🍴 Tommy’s new hobby- getting lost in your eyes. Now and then he has issues with.. preparing victims who also have green eyes- they remind him too much of you, and he could never hurt you!

🍴 The calm and reserved aspect of your personality is great for Tommy! He’s a very gentle, very sweet cannibal- you don’t yell at him like the rest of his family, and you don’t talk to him like he’s stupid. You treat Tommy with respect he’s not quite used to, and it makes him so soft

🍴 On the flip side; your blunt, driven, and hotheadedness is perfect for when Hoyt starts his crap. You don’t take it and you certainly won’t let Tommy either- he hates when you two start conflicts, but when you stand up for him, his heart melts

🍴 Your tattoos are really interesting to Tommy- he likes how you express yourself by putting art on your skin, and likes to think of it as sorta like how his masks are to him

🍴 Catch Tommy doodling on himself when he gets bored, he likes how it looks

🍴 One of the unlucky hitchhikers that got brought to Tommy had an anchor tattoo on the back of their shoulder- Luda Mae just told him to cut around it so the family wouldn’t get lead poisoning- but after he did, he sewed it to his forearm before showing it off to you proudly! Try your best to act supportive

🍴 Heavy metal you say? Tommy’s never heard true metal, so when you tell him that, he’ll probably bang on his saw a few times or try handing it to you

🍴 Thomas Hewitt has heard a plethora of screams and loud noises in his time, but nothing- not even Hoyt’s constant yelling- sounds quite like your music taste

🍴 Even if he’s not a leather coated metalhead, if you like it, Tommy will support it!

🍴 This boy is touch starved- the few physical interactions he gets are mostly from fearful squirming victims or his abusive family. You wanting to hold his hand brought him to tears- getting your end of the day cuddles is all Tommy needs to get through his chores

#matchups #slasher matchups #slashers #thomas hewitt

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keogane · 6 years

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━ shiro once screamed “fuck” and keith heard it and he uses it as blackmail whenever he wants something from shiro

- keith: ‘shiro, i’m lazy but mom said i needed to get milk from the store. can you get it for me?’

- shiro, focused on his book: ‘sorry, kiddo, you have legs and you’re using them.’

- keith: ‘fine. fine, ok, yeah. i’ll just tell mom you screamed fuck.’

- shiro, immediately standing: ‘WHAT DID YOU WANT AGAIN?’

━ their dad came home to see shiro screaming while being chased by keith who was holding a knife. later on, he found out that it was because shiro ate keith’s oreos.

━ shiro once picked up keith from school and he saw lance and opened the car window to scream his name, but when he opened his mouth keith immediately punches him in the throat. shiro couldn’t speak for weeks.

━ they got scolded once because shiro pushed a shopping cart which had keith in it at full power and destroyed an entire stack of tower made out of cereals

━ keith: ‘shiro’s not that great you know, he might look great but he’s really not. he’s bad- no, wait, i take it back he’s awful. he’s the worst. he drools a lot! and he calls himself the beefy boy because he thinks he’s the beefiest big brother ever, but- but that’s a lie, okay? he’s definitely not the beefiest. he sleeps with 2 cat plushies, he names them brooklyn and samantha. which is- which is really weird? he still plays with those LPS thing, you know? and-’

- shiro, who’s on a date with his partner and forced to take keith with him because nobody’s home and the neighbour’s are scared of keith: ‘.................................keith, i’m sorry i ate your oreos, please stop’

- keith, kicks his leg: ‘sorry doesn’t give me back my oreos, you prick!! i called dibs like nine times!! what the hell’

━ keith, laughing his ass off: ‘you said- you said- fucking- you said fucking- spoon- what the fuck-’

- shiro, concerned: ‘[softly] what’s wrong with you’

━ shiro likes to ruffle keith’s hair and keith says he hates is when he does that, but he secretly likes it. one day, shiro ruffled his hair when lance walked by and keith bit his hands.

━ shiro, eating beef: ‘am i- keith, oh my god- listen. is this cannibalism? i mean, i’m eating beef right now, and i’m beef, is this considered cannibalism? keith- no, hey, keith, don’t walk away from me, keith-’

━ keith is sneaking out past his curfew and shiro caught him, instead of scolding him, shiro pushes him out the window.

- shiro, getting inside keith’s room: ‘what the fuck are you doing?’

- keith, sweating: ‘uh. committing a crime’

- shiro, pushing him out the window: ‘hell yeah! fuck the law’

━ shiro, naruto running thru the halls at school because someone dared him to: ‘NYOOM’

- keith, upon seeing him with the most disappointed look ever: ‘i know nothing of him’

━ shiro, in the shower: ‘LET’S GET DOWN TO BUSINESS, TO DEFEAT, THE HUNS’

- keith, packing his things: ‘i want to move out. right now’

━ keith: ‘shiro, please shoot me. oh my god. lance and i made eye contact for 5 seconds and i flipped him off. what do i do, why am i so dumb!!!’

- keith: ‘ok. so yesterday, lance and i made eye contact for like 20 seconds. does that mean he likes me?’

- keith: ‘shiro, oh my god, lance smiled at me. shiro, i’m so gay. oh my god. shiro, oh my god’

- shiro, looking straight into his eyes: ‘if you ramble about lance one more time, i swear, keith, i will throw you into the sun’

━ shiro, screaming from his room: ‘KEITH, STOP BLASTING BARBIE GIRL AT 3 IN THE GOD DAMN MORNING, SOME PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO SLEEP’

━ keith found a really cool lizard one day and took it home with him. shiro accidentally threw it across the room and keith wouldn’t speak to him for almost 2 months.

━ shiro, knocking on keith’s door: ‘keith, i’m sorry i yote your lizard friend across the room, please let me in’

- keith, sobbing: ‘now you’re just making it worse’

━ keith: ‘stop bothering me, old man. go eat prunes and perish’

- shiro, visibly hurt: ‘don’t disrespect obama like this’

━ shiro: ‘so. are we gonna talk about it, or?’

- keith: ‘no. i don’t want to’

- shiro: ‘but keith-’

- keith, immediately on his feet, crying: ‘shiro, i don’t even know why i was searching kermit memes at 1am in the morning. i was sleep deprived and lance told me he liked guys who likes memes’

━ shiro, sipping his tea: ‘man, wouldn’t it be wild if aliens abducted me? that’d be wild, right?’

- shiro, getting abducted by the galras: ‘fuck, i owe keith like 20 bucks’

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distressedgold · 3 years

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...Well, shoot. Now I’m seriously thinking about what strengths and weaknesses my Belos would have in combat (against himself or others).

First, he might be incredibly powerful with magic, since he’s practically a mini Titan at this point, but if he uses a lot of it he risks creating more exposure to the free floating magic then he’s speeding up the transformation processes. So he tends to limit magic use, often times using things such a vivid Illusion to wear down his opponent or play with their emotions to make them slip up, or using the Titan fleshy arms things because that’s easier and requires less work/magic exposure for him.

Second, we know from Eclipse Lake that the Titan’s blood vessels actually reflect magic. So... In theory, Belos can do that too. I’d even go so far as to say he could absorb pure magic/more magical energy based spells given the Titan Blood’s running through his veins that naturally absorbs the free floating magic. However, he’s still effected by things like light, sound, and physical attacks/restraints (how Hunter deals with the truly out of control transformations). You can use basically a flash bomb against him, and it would work if he’s not expecting it. Same with things like ice, plants, fleshy arms, etc. It would need to be more of a physical blow then energy (fire magic kinda falls into a grey area).

Third, my Belos is physically intimidating and has a long reach given he’s like 9 feet tall. (At least; I’ve been thinking about playing with the transformation aspect and Hunter’s real job SO... He might be getting taller soon/with muses who wanna engage with that.) And while he’s not a beefy boy, currently his muscle mass does match up with his proportions pretty well right now and he’s still athletically built even though he’s pretty twiggy. Plus, he does have endurance to last a long while, even if you wouldn’t expect that given how calm, almost slow and steady he usually presents himself as.

Fourth, doesn’t have to worry about blood loss. The Titan’s Bloody stubbornly wants to stay in his body so damn it, it’s staying in there! Also he does have the biological immortality so unless you like actually hack his head off/dig his heart out (and risk your own infection), he’s not gonna die. Easily.

Fifth, he’s got the Titan in his head at all times. This can be double edged sword as if the Titan wants to help, Belos can have supernatural insight into what his opponent is doing/going to do. Down side, is if the Titan really doesn’t want Belos to deal with the conflict, it can force it’s will through his mind and body at this point so Belos can’t fight even if he himself wants to. Otherwise, it’s neutral and doesn’t care and leave Belos alone other than watching the entertainment. (Granted that’s IF Belos is already aware and not mostly being puppetted around by the Titan that day.)

Sixth, last one I can immediately think of is of course the transformations themselves. HOWEVER, given Belos’ often complete loss of control and the cannibalism involved, this is not something he would ever use on purpose (on the Boiling Isles anyway).

#headcanons #About the AU #blog canon #Show me a hero; I'll write you a tragedy (Emperor Belos)#WELP I GOT DISTRACTED AND NEEDED TO WRITE THIS LOL #granted I have been thinking about it on and off since starting this blog to figure out Hunter's strong points and what he needed to develop #to deal with transformed Belos

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